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Chapter Text

Lexa’s eyes flitted across the battlefield, her heart pounding. Her hands and arms ached from clinging to her sword so tightly, but she ignored it, knowing that letting her guard down could mean the death of her comrades or herself.

“Alex!” She looked over at Lincoln, her second in command. “We have to move out, they want us on the southwest side.” She swallowed and nodded in acknowledgement before falling in with the rest of her troop. Her sense of safety increased as the familiar faces fell in behind her, knowing that she could trust them to have her back.

Lexa often tried to avoid speaking to her comrades. Her voice was higher than theirs, and forcing it down an octave in order to better match them took a toll on her throat, and she was too tired to deal with yet another thing. She had been going by the name Alex for a few years now, as long as she had been in the military. She was not the biggest fan of the change, but it had been necessary because Lexa was too obviously a woman’s name.

Lexa had grown up in an orphanage with many boys, whose options once they turned eighteen were either to join the military or try to strike out on their own with no support. Because of this almost all of them joined, and they often trained, and Lexa was not one to be left behind. Those who came back to visit would tell glory filled stories of the battlefield and their fights with the Mountain Men. For as long as she could remember, she waited for King Jake to change the archaic laws banning women from joining the military. When she turned eighteen and the law still had not changed, she shaved her head and walked down to the nearest recruitment tent, claiming to be Alex Woods, a man ready to serve his country.

She had quickly risen through the ranks becoming a corporal in the beginning of her second year, a position that allowed her to let her hair grow back out. She had told no one she was a woman, not even her closest friends, with the exception of one person. In her first year, she met another woman, Costia, who had also joined the army under the guise of being a man. Before even knowing the other’s true identity they became fast friends. When they did discover they were both women, they fell in love. Costia was not as discreet with her identity as Lexa, and one day she was bathing in the middle of the day, and she was revealed to the rest of the troops to be a woman. For this treachery, she was executed. Lexa barely recovered and she closed herself off and was more vigilant than ever. When the topic of women came up with her friends, she joked that “love is weakness,” but in her heart, she knew it to be true.

As Lexa’s troop made the journey to the southwestern side of the mountain, where their command base was, and where very little fighting took place. She found it unusual that they had been called from the main battle to return, but was hopeful that it was for some much needed food and rest. After all, her troop was one of the first to enter combat this morning.

As the base came into view, she felt her heart plummet into her stomach. A surprise attack. There were many Mountain Men, overpowering the Arkadians, who were in desperate need of back-up. She took a deep breath and looked over at Lincoln, her second in command. He grimaced at her, clearly having come to the same realization: the odds were stacked against them.

Regardless, she was ready. She raised her sword and her voice, calling to her troop, “Men, today we have fought hard, but now we must fight harder. Together, we will chase the Mountain Men out, with their tails between their legs.” Her men let out a cheer, and together they entered the battlefield.

For Lexa, time always slowed down in a fight. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she slashed her way through the enemy line. She parried and lunged, taking down man after man in front of her. She had her lips together in a tight line of concentration, sweat beading on her forehead.

As she watched the number of Mountain Men dwindle, she felt her confidence grow. She paused, realizing there were only a few left, when she heard a yell. She turned, and only ten yards away, she watched as an unfamiliar Arkadian hit the ground, a Mountain Man standing over him, ready to go in for the kill. Lexa charged, swinging her sword at the man. She caught him by surprise, his eyes widening, as he realized he did not have time to defend himself. She knocked him to the ground, his helmet bouncing off, and brought her sword down hard on his skull, cracking it open and killing him instantly.

She looked around for anyone who may come to avenge the Mountain Man’s death, but realized that they seemed to be retreating. Once she was more certain, she sheathed her sword and dropped down next to the fallen Arkadian man.

“Are you wounded?” Lexa asked. She was scanning his legs and torso, trying to decide if he needed a medic.

“No,” the man replied, “I’m alright, just had the breath knocked out of me.”

She let out a sigh of relief before finally making eye contact with him. She blinked rapidly, shocked. The man she had saved was her king.

She bowed as best she could, considering she was already on the ground, and he was laying below her. She hoped that she had not offended him.

“I’m sorry, your majesty,” Lexa stuttered out, “I did not realize it was you.”

He let out a short laugh. “Do not apologize. I should be thanking you. You just saved my life, and you may have just ended this war.”

“I don’t understand, sir.”

“The Mountain Man you just killed is not just any foot soldier. That was Prince Cage himself. He convinced his father to start this war, and now that he is gone, it may be over. You are a hero for more reasons than one. You will be rewarded greatly for this.”

Lexa’s brain was moving a mile a minute, trying to decipher the exact meaning of his words. She had spent her whole career trying to avoid attention in order to keep her identity hidden, and now she may have just unintentionally put herself into the brightest spotlight anyone in Arkadia had ever seen.

Chapter Text

Lexa tried to keep herself from gaping as she took in her surroundings. It had been a month or so since she had saved her king on the battlefield, and the war had officially ended a week after that. Just as she started to relax, hoping that nothing would come of it, she had received summons to the castle, where she was now. Lexa had never been anywhere so nice. The ceilings were vaulted, there was art everywhere, and the grand staircase was, well, grand. She hadn’t expected the castle to be dilapidated by any means, but she hadn’t thought it would be so beautiful.

The guard escorting her to the throne room smiled at her slightly, and Lexa couldn’t tell if he was laughing at her, or agreeing with her. She knew she shouldn’t ask, as his station meant that he was not supposed to speak, and she was not sure if she wanted to know the answer anyway. They eventually arrived, and Lexa could not even take the time to admire the beauty of this room as she was now in the presence of the king, and she wanted to give him her full attention.
Lexa bowed in a show of respect.

He laughed, more robustly than when they were on the battlefield. “Hello, Alex, I hope you have been doing well since I have last seen you.”

“I have, your majesty.”

“Good, good, because you will need your strength for what comes next.” He laughed again. “I am kidding, Alex. I have asked you here to offer you the reward that I promised you.”

She nodded, slightly uncomfortable. “Thank you, your majesty.”

“You saved my life, you do not need to constantly refer to me as ‘your majesty.’ It is okay.”

“Yes, of course, your majesty.”

He sighed, more amused than annoyed. “That’s okay, we will work on it. We will have plenty of time together soon.”

Lexa made a conscious effort to not let her emotions show on her face. This statement worried her. She did not want to spend a lot of time with the king. Afterall, he was the top of the chain of command, if he discovered that she was a woman, then he would certainly have her killed, life saving or not.

“Anyway, Alex, your reward. First, I would like for you to become the commander of Arkadia’s army. I have spoken with your sergent and he says that you are a great soldier and have a fantastic mind for strategy, so I trust that you will do great things as my commander.”

Lexa’s mind raced, she could not believe he was offering her this position. Being the commander of the army was what she had dreamed of since she was a child, but she never would have imagined she would actually become it, and only four years into her career.

“Yes, I would love that! Thank you!” The words came tumbling out of her mouth before she could process the amount of excitement she showed. She cleared her throat before saying, “I mean, that would be a great honor, sir.”

King Jake laughed again, “I am glad you are so eager. I was a little worried that you would be nervous, as you are so young. The second part of your reward will be less pressure, I hope.”

Lexa held her breath, wondering what else he could possibly offer her.

“My daughter, Princess Clarke, she is of marrying age now, and she continually turns down suitors, so my wife, Queen Abby, and I have agreed it is best for her to have an arranged marriage.”

He raised his hands defensively, despite the fact that Lexa had not reacted yet. She was still trying to figure out what relevance this held to her. “I would like you to marry my daughter.”

Lexa could not keep her jaw from dropping. “I-” she stuttered, “You would?”

He smiled a little sadly down at her. “I would. Clarke deserves to be happy, and I think you will be good for her. At the very least, you are strong, both physically and mentally, and loyal. Those are traits that are hard to find in young men these days.”

Lexa desperately wanted to tell him he was making a mistake, and that she could not possibly marry the princess because she is not who he thinks she is. Despite her better judgment, she did not. She knew that this was not an offer you could just turn down and walk away from.

“It would be a great privilege to marry Princess Clarke, your majesty. Thank you.”

“Fantastic! I have not told Clarke yet. I wanted to wait until you officially accepted. I will send for her now.”

Lexa nodded, not wanting to speak more than she had to out of fear of speaking rashly. A few minutes later, Princess Clarke walked into the room. Lexa had never seen the princess before. She had seen a few paintings and drawings, of course, but they did not do her justice. She was truly gorgeous, she made the castle around her seem drab in comparison. Lexa sucked in a quick breath, trying to regain control of her own mind.

“Clarke! I have great news,” King Jake boomed, “Do you remember how your mother and I talked to you about arranging your marriage? Here is your betrothed.”

Lexa held back a balk at the King’s blunt introduction, but quickly recovered and bowed to Clarke.

“It is nice to meet you, your highness. My name is Alex Woods. It is an honor to be betrothed to you.”

Clarke did not so much as spare her a second glance.

“Father, you have to be kidding me. You told me I would have more time! I do not want to marry him. Who even is he? What country are you selling me off to?”

Lexa stood at attention, feeling like an intruder to the intimate argument.

“Clarke, honey, I did give you time, it’s been almost a year. Give him a chance please, he is the new commander. This way, you get to stay at home.”

Clarke glared at him. “I can’t believe you would do this to me.” She turned towards Lexa, “I may be marrying you, but that doesn’t mean I like you, or that I am going to make this easy for you.”

With that, she stormed out of the throne room with both Lexa and King Jake watching her go.

The King grimaced. “Just give her a little time to cool down. She’ll come around.”

Lexa nodded in assent, but she was not so sure he was right.

Chapter Text

Lexa did not speak to Clarke again until their wedding. Lexa was not particularly included in the wedding planning, because what do boys care about that kind of stuff? She would occasionally see Clarke around the castle, and Clarke would avoid eye contact and either hurry past Lexa or turn in the other direction. Lexa didn’t really mind, she would like to put off having to deal with the princess for as long as possible, and she was busy anyway.

Her new position as commander had her in meetings from sunrise to sunset, or at least that’s what it felt like. While the ending of the war with the Mountain Men meant that the active fighting was over, tension was rising between Arkadia and the Ice Nation, and she feared that the kingdom would soon have to enter battle again. Despite the long hours, Lexa enjoyed the work. She liked seeing the bigger picture and having her voice heard and taken seriously–she had saved the King’s life after all.

The day of the wedding, Lexa got ready alone for the most part. She was grateful for this, as it meant that she did not have to awkwardly go somewhere else to change, under the guise of feeling uncomfortable with people watching, or pretend to shave her face, something that she had been forced to pick up when she let her hair grow out. A head of hair so thick meant she should also have a heavy beard. She looked at herself in the mirror, her hair pulled back in the braided style she typically wore to battle, albeit much neater. She took a deep breath, trying to reduce her anxiety before the wedding. She had memorized the typical vows–thankfully the King had not insisted on them writing their own–but she was more worried about what came after.

Traditionally, they would be expected to consummate the marriage after the wedding, and Lexa was hoping, praying really, that Clarke would be too upset to even consider it. Otherwise Lexa was royally screwed. Literally. She smiled slightly to herself at the pun, but it was not enough to quell her nerves.

When the time came for Clarke to walk down the aisle, Lexa’s hands were shaking. She was the commander of an army, and yet Clarke scared her. It did not help that Clarke looked gorgeous in her wedding dress, even with the obvious scowl on her face. As the officiant prattled on about the significance of marriage and beauty of love, Lexa tried her best to avoid looking at Clarke. Clarke, on the other hand, was doing no such thing, using the privacy that the veil provided to glare at Lexa.

Once they both got through their vows, Clarke’s somehow getting hers to sound almost insulting, they exchanged rings. They both were very careful to evade touching the other as much as possible.

Then came the words Lexa had been dreading: “You may kiss the bride.” Clarke pulled up her veil, and was clearly trying to hide her annoyance as much as possible for the benefit of their audience. Lexa very quickly pecked her on the lips, and pulled back as fast as she possibly could. Clarke’s eyes widened a little in what Lexa thought might be surprise, but she couldn’t be sure, as it was gone as quickly as it came.

The newlyweds sat together at their own table at the head of the room. They had been sitting in silence throughout the appetizer and the main course, and Lexa was both grateful and uncomfortable. When a servant came to clear Clarke’s plate, she leaned over and said something to him. The servant shook his head, “I’m sorry, your highness, but his majesty gave explicit orders.”

As he left, Clarke groaned, slumping over onto the table in a very un-princesslike fashion. She turned towards Lexa and finally broke the silence. “They won’t let me have any alcohol beyond the glass of champagne they gave us at the beginning of dinner. My father told them to refuse me. He doesn’t want me getting drunk and making a fool of myself or something. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to survive tonight.”

Lexa quietly slid her untouched glass towards Clarke, “Here, you can have mine. I don’t really drink.”

For the first time since she met Clarke, the princess gave her a slight smile. “Thanks. It’s better than nothing, I guess.”

Clarke looked up to where her parents sat, one table and a few yards away from them. Once she seemed to have decided that they were not looking she picked up the glass and gulped down the contents. She slid the glass back over to Lexa without saying another word.

When they finally got back to their new shared chambers, Lexa was exhausted. After they had finished eating, they had talked to what felt like hundreds of people. Lexa was still dreading the potential of Clarke wanting to consummate, but was hopeful, as the princess had not spoken to her beyond the one interaction.

“I don’t know what you’re expecting tonight, Alex, but I am absolutely not having sex with you.” The fire that Lexa had seen when Clarke had argued with her father had returned to her voice.

“Um, I don’t really know you,” Lexa said, a little stunned, “I didn’t want to.”

“Yeah, well, keep it that way. I’m not interested, and I never will be.” Clarke retorted.

“Honestly?” Lexa said, “I think I’m okay with that.”

Clarke looked a little taken aback. “What, do you have a little girlfriend back home or something? Because you have to cut that off. My father will not be happy if you cause a cheating scandal.”

“I–no, I–” Lexa struggled to find the right words. “I just don’t really believe in love? It’s complicated.”

Clarke let out a bitter laugh. “I wish I didn’t believe in love. It would make this whole arranged marriage thing so much easier.”

After a beat of silence, Clarke continued, “You know, now that you’re stuck with me forever, I’ll let you in on a little secret. My father arranged my marriage because he knew that I would never find a man on my own. Not because they don’t approach me–God, I wish they wouldn’t–but because I would prefer to marry a woman. He doesn’t want the kingdom to know that their beloved princess is bisexual.” She sneered, and looked at Lexa, daring her to respond, but Lexa could see the fear behind her eyes./p>

Lexa was honestly shocked, she had heard rumors, but she had assumed they were false. They went around about any woman who didn’t have a husband by the time she was twenty. Of course, she was also gay and had no place to judge, but Clarke couldn’t know that.

“That’s okay,” She finally responded, “It’s not like it’s a choice. I will never ask you to do anything. As I said, I’m not particularly interested.”

Clarke looked at her, and Lexa couldn’t tell what she was feeling. Clarke eventually turned away. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Chapter Text

Lexa woke up the next morning feeling stiff. After she had returned from the bathroom, she had found Clarke dead asleep. Lexa was about to climb in when she realized if she slept in the bed, she would have to keep her chest bound, in the off chance Clarke woke up before her or accidentally touched her chest. Resigned, she had taken an extra pillow and blanket and slept on the floor. In the army, she had often slept in uncomfortable places, but in the months leading up to the wedding she had gotten used to the comfortable beds within the castle.

She sat up and rolled out her neck. She glanced over at the bed and jumped as blue eyes peered down at her.

“Why are you on the floor?” Clark asked, her hair hanging down, framing her face in a way that almost made Lexa blush.

“Because you took up the entire bed last night and left no room for me.” Lexa responded, forcing herself to look away. “Besides, I prefer sleeping on hard surfaces.” She stood up, and winced. She stretched and heard her back pop.

“Yeah,” Clarke retorted, “It sure seems like it’s doing great things for you. Or, maybe you’re just getting too old.”

Clarke fell silent, watching Lexa as she stood up, being sure to face away, so Clarke could not see anything. Lexa walked to the adjoined bathroom, quickly wrapped her chest and brushed her teeth before returning to the room.

“Alex? Why didn’t your parents come to the wedding?” Clarke asked, curiosity tingeing her voice.

Lexa stiffened. She was surprised Clarke had even noticed she had no one at the wedding. “My parents are dead, Princess. I guess they couldn’t make it.”

“Oh,” Clarke said quietly, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I never really knew them. Hard to miss what you don’t know.”

Clarke looked at her sadly for a moment before getting out of bed, saying nothing more.

The two fell into a rhythm of sorts. They shared a room, but not much else. They rarely spoke to one another, beyond what was absolutely necessary. Lexa rose from her spot on the floor–she still did not feel comfortable sharing the bed–long before Clarke woke up, and her meetings often kept her up late enough that the Princess was already in bed when she came back. Lexa honestly kind of enjoyed this arrangement. This way she did not have to worry about Clarke accidentally discovering her identity or unintentionally upsetting her, which happened occasionally. Clarke would sometimes be angry for days, though it seemed to be more aimed at her father than at Lexa.

Their pattern did not last for long. Two months into their marriage, Lexa was called into a meeting with the King. While this was not totally unusual, he attended almost every war council, she thought it was odd that no one else seemed to be attending.

“Alex!” King Jake smiled at her, “I hope you are doing well.” He seemed tired; his shoulders slumped forward, and the bags under his eyes were more pronounced. Lexa knew he too had been working long hours, but the toll seemed more obvious now that they were alone.

Lexa bowed her head, “I am, thank you.”

“Good, good,” he trailed off for a moment before continuing, “Alex, I have asked you here today because, as you know, the Ice Nation has been threatening war for the past few months, and I am starting to worry that these are not just threats.”

“Yes, your majesty, I have been making sure that our troops are ready. I plan on visiting our various camps in the next few days to ensure that they are receiving sufficient training. I refuse to be caught unprepared by Queen Nia.”

“And I am pleased with your decisions, but I’m afraid you will not be able to make these trips.”

Lexa’s head snapped up, “Why not?” She desperately tried to think if she had made any mistakes in the past few days, but she could not imagine that anyone could possibly have figured anything out. Her voice had badly cracked in a meeting last week, but she was pretty sure they had brushed it off. She clasped her hands together behind her back to keep them from shaking.

The King did not seem to notice, or if he did, he did not let on. “I would like you to make a longer trip out to Yujleda. They are our allies, at the moment, but I fear if I do not have someone like you out there, we may lose them to the Ice Nation. I am not sure how long you will have to stay, I would like to keep pressure on them for as long as possible.”

Lexa tried not to let the relief show. He had not discovered anything, he was simply sending her on a mission. A mission that would hopefully take her away from her wife for who knows how long, weeks, months, maybe years. A smile creeped onto her face.

“It would be an honor, your majesty. When will I leave?”

“I would like you to leave tomorrow. Although, knowing Clarke, it may take her a day or two to pack.” He put his hand to his chin and hummed for a second.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked, unable to keep the surprise from showing.

“Yes, yes. She will be accompanying you. You will be staying in quite nice lodgings I hear. There is a manor waiting for you.” He paused, as if deciding whether or not to say something else. “I know your marriage has not been easy so far, but I think this will be good for you two. You will have more free time to spend with Clarke, and she will not have as many distractions.”

Lexa disagreed, she thought that spending more time with Clarke sounded terrible, but she nodded anyway. “Perhaps you are right, your majesty. I will begin packing right away. Would you like me to inform Clarke?”

He laughed loudly, his exhaustion seeming to disappear for a moment. “No, I will not put you through that. She will not be happy at first, I think.”

Not happy was an understatement. Clarke was infuriated. It was clear when the King told her, the next morning Clarke stormed into their room, slamming the door and letting out a scream.

Lexa did not have many belongings, so packing should not have taken her long, but Clarke was a distraction to say the least. She was letting out a stream of curses so vulgar and many that she listed a few Lexa had not heard before, and that was saying something. Clarke was certainly packing, but not in the organized fashion that Lexa was. While Lexa’s clothes were in a line, neatly rolled and stacked, Clarke’s were thrown in the trunk haphazardly, as she said foul things about her father, the Ice Queen, and Yujleda.

Once they were in the carriage, Lexa was about to thank her lucky stars that she was not included on the list of people that Clarke seemed to hate, as they had a long ride ahead of them, when Clarke finally turned on her.

“And you! You really had to get me into this mess, huh? This is all your fault! How fucking dare you!”

Lexa saw red for a moment. “How dare me? How dare you!” she spat out, “You think I asked for this? I have no interest in spending time with a bratty, self absorbed princess. I’m just as unhappy about this arrangement as you are. I just know how to act like an adult.”

“Fuck you, Alex. I didn’t ask for this either! At least I don’t hide from you and act like this isn’t happening. That’s not acting like an adult. God, I wish I had never had to marry you!”

“What? You’d have preferred I let your father die on the battlefield?”

Clarke went quiet.

“I’m sorry,” Lexa said, her voice higher than she usually allowed it to be, “That was too far.”

Clarke deflated, “No, you’re right. It’s not your fault. I’m just so angry at my father. I can’t believe he would do this to me. He’s sending us so far, away from everything I’ve ever known. He’s barely let me leave the castle before this.”

Clarke began to quietly cry, and Lexa couldn’t help but notice how pretty her eyes were, how bright of a blue they were. Lexa grimaced internally before moving across the carriage to sit next to the Princess.

“It’ll be okay, I think,” she said, tentatively putting her hand on Clarke’s back. “And you’re not leaving behind everything you’ve ever known. I’ll be there.”

“Oh gee, thanks, because I know you so well.” Clarke said, but despite her biting words, she rested her head against Lexa’s chest.

Chapter Text

For the remainder of the ride, Lexa awkwardly held Clarke as she cried and then seemed to stop. In order for her to move away, she would have to either physically move Clarke off of her, or let her fall forward, and she was unwilling to do either. The Princess clearly needed her, as she had not moved since putting her head against Lexa. They had not spoken for a long time, and Lexa had felt the wetness penetrate even the cloth that bound her chest, but Clarke remained silent, and Lexa had decided that she was not going to push.

When they finally slowed, Clarke jerked away, standing up suddenly. Lexa did not realize how much she was enjoying having Clarke that close to her until the contact was gone. Clarke hopped down as soon as the carriage stopped, not waiting for anyone to open the door for her. She glanced back at Lexa, an unreadable expression in her eyes.

Lexa almost called for her to come back, but didn’t. They weren’t friends, they were barely even acquaintances. She sighed and followed Clarke down, and into the manor. The building was huge, and Lexa was reminded of her first day at the castle, when she was awed by the structure’s beauty.

A servant nodded to Lexa as she walked in, and she followed him to a bedroom, where she saw her neatly packed trunk was already sitting. She did not see Clarke, despite the fact that the princess had been ahead of her.

She turned to the servant. “Where is the Princess?”

“She is in her room, Commander. We were told you would prefer separate accommodations, but if that is not the case, I can show you to where she is staying.”

Lexa was not sure if she felt relieved or not. She was grateful to not have to worry about seeing Clarke, but she also felt a pang upon hearing the news.

“No, I will stay here. Thank you.”

The servant bowed his head and quickly left the room. Lexa flopped onto her back, trying to parse through all of her thoughts. She could not deny the distinct fluttering of her heart when Clarke had leaned against her, but she also knew that, for so many reasons, she could not let herself have feelings for the Princess. She closed her eyes and sighed, knowing that this would be a struggle for a long while.

Lexa was busy the first week that they were in Yujleda. She met with diplomats, officials, and even the chief, establishing relations, and pressuring them to stay in their alliance with Arkadia. After that, she found herself with quite a bit of free time, as her presence was only required once a week at most.

Clarke seemed to be keeping busy, although Lexa was not entirely sure with what. They lived separate lives in separate parts of the castle, only occasionally sharing a meal, when they both happened to stop in the kitchens at the same time.

In her free time, Lexa had taken to wandering the manor. It was so large she felt she could spend hours walking through rooms, and she would not come across the same one twice. About a month into living in Yujleda, she had wandered through her entire wing, and she dared to roam through Clarke’s.

After a little, she came upon a door that was cracked open, light spilling out into the corridor. She was about to peek inside, when she heard a sound she knew well, Clarke’s frustrated groan. Lexa moved back out into the hallway, trying to discreetly move away, but her shirt caught on a splinter on the door, pulling the door just a fraction of an inch, enough for the hinges to creak. In an instant, Clarke was outside, pulling the door shut behind her.

“What do you want?” Clarke asked, annoyance clear.

Lexa tried to think of a single excuse as to why she was there, and ended up just telling the truth. “I was bored. I was wandering the castle and came across this room,” she said, “not that I got to see what’s inside of it.”

Clarke seemed to relax a touch. “Well, can’t you wander around your own side?” but the fire was gone from her tone, and it didn’t have the same effect on Lexa as it might have.

“Um, I guess, but I’ve already seen everything it has to offer, and I guess I’m a little bored. And lonely.” Lexa cringed at herself, the last part had seemed to just slip out. She knew Clarke could not care less about whether or not she was lonely.

But Clarke softened a little, and responded very quietly. “Me too.”

They were quiet for a long time, looking at each other. After a while Lexa said, “Can we try to spend some time together? I know you don’t like me, but at least then we wouldn’t be alone all of the time.”

Clarke held that same unreadable expression on her face. “I don’t not like you. It’s just–” She sighed, “It’s just complicated.”

Lexa waited for her to say more, but nothing else seemed to be coming. “Alright, well, I am going to go back to my quarters I think.” She turned and started to head back the way she came.

“Wait, Alex,” Clarke said, looking at the floor, “I would like to spend some time with you. Meet me in the study tomorrow at six, okay?”

Lexa sensed a strange vulnerability in Clarke that she had not seen since their wedding night when Clarke had admitted that she was bisexual. Against her better judgment, the part of her that told her that getting close to Clarke was a death sentence, in more ways than one, Lexa responded.

“Yes, Princess, of course. I look forward to it.” And Lexa could not tell if it was the just odd lighting or a slight blush that colored Clarke’s cheeks as she returned to the mysterious room she had appeared from earlier.

Chapter Text

Lexa pulled at the hems of her sleeve. She was outside the study a little before six, and for whatever reason, she was nervous as all hell. Just as she was about to go in, a voice came from behind her.

“What the fuck are you doing? You’ve been standing there for like five minutes.” Clarke was standing a few yards away, hands on her hips. Lexa just about jumped out of her own skin. “You know, for someone who spent so much time on the battlefield, you sure startle easy.”

Lexa felt her cheeks grow warm, and hoped the hallway was dark enough to hide it. “I’m not on the battlefield anymore. I didn’t think I needed to keep my guard up.”

Clarke’s eyes narrowed. “I guess not.” She gestured towards the door. “Well? Are you going inside or not?”

Lexa ducked her head and walked inside, trying to rid herself of the embarrassment she felt. Clarke followed her in and dropped down into a comfortable looking chair. Lexa remained standing, choosing instead to take in the room. The study was technically in Clarke’s wing of the manor, so she had not visited it quite yet. It was a small room, but it didn’t feel cramped. There was a fireplace, a few chairs, a work desk, many bookshelves, and a few paintings.

Lexa walked up to one of the paintings, it was a landscape of somewhere she recognized, but couldn’t quite put her finger on. She heard Clarke get up and a moment later her fingers wrap lightly around Lexa’s arm.

“That’s the view from my room. Back home, I mean, in Arkadia.” Her voice was permeated with sadness and Lexa’s heart twinged for the Princess. “Well, the room I had before we were married.”

“It’s beautiful. Did you have it commissioned before we left?” Lexa wanted to turn to look at Clarke, but was afraid that she might let go of her arm if she did so.

“Not exactly. I painted it when we got here. I wanted to be able to remember what it was like there.”

“You make it sound like you will never be able to return.”

“Well, I can and I can’t. Even when we go back, it will never be the same.”

“I know,” Lexa’s eyes dropped from the painting. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” Clarke leaned her body into Lexa’s for just a moment, before she quickly pulled back, as if she did not realize what she was doing. She dropped her hand from Lexa’s arm and walked back to her chair.

Still facing the painting, Lexa said “I didn’t know you’re an artist.”

Clarke let out a clipped laugh, “Yeah, well, you don’t know a lot about me. Kind of ironic considering we’re married.”

Lexa turned to face her and came to sit in the chair adjacent to her. “I mean, you’re right. I would like to get to know my wife better. Tell me about yourself.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “That’s so broad. I’m not doing that. You ask me a question, I ask you a question, got it?”

“You’re very demanding.”

“Well, I am a princess.” Clarke smiled for a moment, the first Lexa had seen since they had left Arkadia.

“Touché,” Lexa smiled too, “Alright then, how old are you?”

Clarke spluttered for a moment, “How do you not know that? They make such a big deal about my birthday every year.”

Lexa shrugged, “I’ve been in the army since I was eighteen. It’s not like we do a whole lot of birthday celebrations, much less for you, Princess.”

“Okay, whatever, Commander.” She put extra emphasis on Lexa’s title, “I’m twenty. How old are you?”

“Oh, so after all that, you don’t even know how old I am?” Lexa teased.

“Your birthday is not celebrated by the entire city every year. Answer the question. Unless you’re actually, like, old. In which case, don’t answer. I don’t want to know.” Clarke retorted, crossing her arms.

Lexa laughed, and almost immediately squashed it, conscious of how feminine it sounded. “I am not old. I am twenty-two.”

“It’s bold of you to think that I do not consider that old.” When it became clear Lexa wasn’t going to respond, she said. “Okay, it’s your turn again, grandpa. Ask me something.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Oh man, that’s hard.” She paused, “Let me think about it. You answer first.”

Lexa hummed thoughtfully, and Clarke looked up at her, making eye contact. Lexa couldn’t bring herself to look away, feeling her heart start to race.

“Green.” It had always been her favorite color. Green reminded her of hiking through the forest, all the plant life around her, serene and peaceful.

Clarke nodded slowly, thoughtfully. “I honestly struggle to choose a favorite. It changes from day to day, depending on what piece I’m working on, or what catches my eye.”

They still had not broken eye contact, and Lexa felt her stomach tightening. “And today?” She asked.

“Green, but with a blue-ish tinge.” Clarke responded, suddenly looking away.

“What makes you like it today?” Lexa asked, still looking at the Princess.

“It’s my turn to ask the question.” Clarke responded, shifting in her chair.

“I’m pretty sure that should be considered a follow-up, and not a new question.”

“Yeah, but that requires a visual explanation, so I consider it a new one.” Clarke was still not looking at her.

Lexa could not hold back her curiosity. “What does that mean? You absolutely have to answer the question now.”

Clarke smiled at her eagerness, but didn’t respond.

Lexa second guessed herself. “You don’t have to actually tell me. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Damn right I don’t,” Clarke responded, clearly amused, “No, it’s okay. Just–come with me.”

She stood up quickly and didn’t glance back to see if Lexa was following until she had reached the door. Lexa followed her into the corridor and around a few corners until they arrived at the same room that Lexa had tried to walk into last night.

“Stay out here, okay?” Clarke asked, waiting for Lexa to nod in assent, before slipping into the room, careful not to let Lexa see inside. When she came back inside, she was holding a small rectangular canvas. She kept it close to her chest, and led Lexa into a different room that was brightly lit compared to the hallway.

“This is why it’s my favorite color right now, okay? And please don’t let it go to your head. I’m just beginning to not dislike you.” Clarke took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, before placing the canvas face up on the table. Lexa took in a sharp breath, trying not to show her shock. On the canvas was Lexa’s face in full warpaint. The most striking part of the piece, her eyes, green, with a blue-ish tint, stared back up at her.

“Ah,” Lexa said quietly, “I see.”

Clarke snatched it back up and hurried out of the room before Lexa could say another word.

Chapter Text

Lexa stayed up for half the night thinking about what Clarke had shown her. She was not sure what it had meant. Was it simply because Clarke was an artist, and Lexa was familiar? Or did it mean something more? Lexa shook her head to remove herself of the thought. She couldn’t entertain that line of thinking. She could never be completely honest with Clarke because she feared for her life if she was, and love was really a weakness anyway. God, how did she get herself into this situation?

The next morning, Lexa woke up later than normal, as she had not slept well. As she sat in the dining room eating breakfast, Clarke walked in, clearly having slept as well as Lexa did. Her eye bags were deep, and her hair was going in every direction. She acknowledged Lexa with a tiny nod, but didn’t say anything.

Clarke sat across the table from her, breakfast plate in hand. Clarke was obviously trying to avoid eye contact, and Lexa couldn’t stop herself from looking at the Princess. She was still trying to work out what had happened the night before.

Finally Clarke looked up. “Commander, either say something or stop staring at me.”

Lexa blanched, “I, uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Well you were.”

“I, um, yes. I guess so.” Lexa said awkwardly, “Also, about last night…” She trailed off as Clarke raised her eyebrows.

“What about last night?” Clarke asked, her tone stern, on the verge of being harsh. “We went to the study. We talked. I showed you a painting. We went to bed. Is there something I’m missing?”

Lexa swallowed, feeling very uncomfortable. “I was just wondering if you would still like to meet me tonight?” It was not what she had really intended to ask, but she sensed that probing any farther into what had happened would not end well.

Clarke sighed. “I suppose so. You’re not the worst company I’ve ever had.”

Lexa gave her an awkward smile, not sure if Clarke was kidding or not. She stood up, deciding to just flee the uncomfortable conversation. “Okay. I’ll see you tonight.”

Lexa left, glancing back to see Clarke pensively looking down at her plate.

That night, when Lexa arrived at the study, she resolved to just walk in, lest she be caught in the hallway again. She opened the door a little harder than she intended, in her burst of courage, and Clarke jumped as it slammed into the wall behind it.

“Jesus! What did you do that for?” Clarke asked, her narrowed eyes trained on Lexa’s,

“Oh, I didn’t mean to. It was lighter than I thought, I guess.” Lexa responded, feeling heat rising to her cheeks.

Clarke paused, looking her up and down. “You know, you’re kind of cute when you blush.” She held her hand up, “Not a compliment. Just a fact. Still don’t like you all that much.”

“Uhh,” Lexa said, feeling herself blush more, “Thanks?”

“Again, not a compliment. No thanks needed.”

Lexa still stood in the doorway, but felt too awkward to move.

Clarke rolled her eyes, which Lexa was starting to feel like she did very often during their interactions. “Alex, come sit down. You’re hovering and it’s making me uncomfortable.” She patted the couch next to her, and Lexa came and sat down, as far away as she could be, while still being on the cushion Clarke had patted.

They sat in silence for a long time, both of them looking at anything but each other. Finally Clarke broke the silence. “Look, I’m sorry I kind of ran out last night. I don’t normally show my art to anyone, especially art like that, and I just felt uncomfortable with the whole thing and left.”

“Oh,” Lexa said dumbly, “Well, I liked it. I thought it was good” When Clarke didn’t answer, Lexa continued on. “Not a compliment. Just a fact.”

Clarke finally cracked a smile. “Thanks, I appreciate that. My parents don’t really support the whole painting thing. They think I should do something a little more ladylike. Like embroidery.”

“You don’t really get along with your parents, do you?”

“Not recently, no. I used to be really close to my father when I was younger, but coming out to him kind of put a rift in our relationship. My mom though…” She trailed off, looking away, a sad expression clouding her face.

Lexa shifted closer and put her hand over Clarke’s, in an attempt to comfort her. Clarke shook her head and looked back up at Lexa, a halfhearted smile on her face. “It’s not that bad. I’m lucky my father didn’t marry me off to some prince, where I would have had to move in with his family.”

“And yet, you were still forced to move away.” Lexa responded, mirroring Clarke’s sad smile.

“Yeah, but maybe we’ll move back one day. That possibility wouldn’t be there with a prince.”
Lexa noted that Clarke had said “we” and not “I” and she felt a strange twist in her stomach.

“I’m sorry.” Lexa said

“Ah, it’s not your fault. I’m sorry I blamed you.” Clarke responded and Lexa noticed a tint of pinkness in the Princess’s cheeks. “It’s not like you could have said no, so we’re in this together now, I guess.”

Lexa was suddenly very conscious of their closeness. Clarke had not moved her hand out from under Lexa’s, and had closed the gap between them so their thighs were touching. Lexa swallowed, looking at her lap.

“Alex?” Clarke asked, and Lexa finally looked up at her. Whatever Clarke was going to say was cut off as Lexa suddenly reached forward, grabbed the Princess’s face, and kissed her.

As quickly as she did it, she stopped. Lexa stood up, panicked. “I, uh, I’m going to bed.” She heard herself saying. With that, she turned and walked out of the study and back to her room as quickly as possible, leaving Clarke sitting, looking stunned.

When Lexa returned to her room, she was hyperventilating. She took some time to bring her breathing back to normal, before deciding that she needed to take a bath. She knew that the hot water would help her calm down and allow her time to think about the consequences of what she had done.

When she finally had gotten the bath ready–she had drawn it herself, she really didn’t need any servants seeing her like this–she began to get undressed. She had just neatly rolled up and put down the cloth that bound her chest when she heard a voice calling.

“Alex? I just want to talk!” Before Lexa could register what was happening, Clarke appeared in the doorway. "What the fuck."

Lexa did her best to cover her chest, but she knew it wouldn’t have made a difference either way. Clarke had already seen. Her mouth was agape, and she was blinking rapidly as if she thought her eyes were deceiving her. When Clarke finally recovered, she looked up at Lexa, eyes still wide with surprise. “You have a lot of explaining to do.”

Chapter Text

Lexa did have some explaining to do, but she could not bring herself to speak. She felt like she was on the battlefield but without a single day of training. Panic was rising in her throat, and she knew she needed to focus on one thing at a time. She turned away from Clarke, wishing she could rebind her chest–the pressure brought her comfort–but she knew it would take too long, so she settled for just her shirt. Now that she was not half naked, she wanted to move out of the bathroom. This was going to be a long conversation.

Clarke was still standing in the doorway, expectant but afraid. Lexa let her voice rise to its natural place. There was no point in keeping it low now, and even with so much practice, it hurt to talk so low. “I will tell you everything, but can we please sit down?”

Clarke’s eyes widened a little at the sudden change, but she nodded and walked unsteadily into Lexa’s room. They sat on opposite ends of Lexa’s bed, the only furniture in the room, not facing each other.

Clarke spoke first, “I don’t understand. I– you’re not a man?”

Lexa would have laughed if her life was not on the line. “No, I am not. I wanted to be able to join the army.” Clarke cut her off, realization sparking in her eyes.

“Women aren’t allowed to enlist. How did no one know?”

“I was an orphan. They don’t keep good track of us. Lucky for me, I guess.”

Clarke was stiff and looking at the floor. “The punishment is execution. Why would you do that? You didn’t have to. You shouldn’t have.” Her voice sounded angrier than Lexa had expected.

“I’ve always wanted to serve my country. I knew I’d be a good soldier, and I was. Fuck, Clarke, I’m the commander of the whole damn army!” Despite everything, Lexa felt good for the first time in years. She was allowed to be herself, a woman, and the commander. These worlds had not been designed to collide, but fuck if she didn’t like it.

“I’m sorry. I just– that has to be so much to carry. Does anyone else know?”

“No. I couldn’t tell anyone.” Lexa felt herself starting to cry. She couldn’t help it. Clarke was right. It was too much. “I told one person, and I watched her be executed. She was in the army too, before they found her.”

Clarke slid closer to her on the bed, putting her hand on Lexa’s back, rubbing soothing circles. Lexa’s silent tears turned to sobs, and Clarke pulled her to her chest, which only made her cry harder. Lexa could not remember the last time she was held like this. Actually, no, she was sure it had been Costia, and the fact that she felt so comforted by Clarke’s arms scared her almost as badly as the fact that she had been caught.

“I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” Clarke whispered to her.

“You shouldn’t promise that,” Lexa responded between sobs, “It will put you in danger.”

“It’s okay. I want to. Plus, I’m the princess. What can they do to me?”

They sat with Lexa curled up, basically in Clarke’s lap, for a long time, until Lexa stopped crying. Lexa was pretty sure the Princess had kissed the top of her head, but couldn’t be sure, she had been shaking too badly.

“Can we lay down? Sitting like this is hurting my back.” Clarke finally said. Lexa shot up, suddenly embarrassed by their positioning.

“I’m sorry. I’ll move.”

“No, it’s not you.” Clarke insisted, “I just don’t have anything to lean back on.” Clarke gently tugged Lexa to lay down, positioning herself so Lexa would land on her chest. Lexa was tired, and when Clarke’s arms clamped down over her, she didn’t fight it.

Lexa was thinking about how nice Clarke smelled, and then mentally berating herself for even thinking about it in the first place, when Clarke laughed. “Oh my god. That’s why you said you weren’t interested in me. Oh god, you’re straight. I got my wish, I married a woman, and she’s straight! Did you kiss me because you were trying to throw me off the trail?”

Lexa’s face burned with embarrassment. “I, no, I, um, I said that because I didn’t want you to find out that I’m, uh, actually a woman. I like women. I actually only like women.”

Clarke was quiet, and when Lexa peeked up at her face, she could see it was bright red. “Oh, I guess that must have been handy in the army. No temptation.”

Any humor that Lexa had felt from the conversation disappeared as she thought of Costia. “Yeah, I guess not.”

Clarke squeezed her for a second, before asking, “Is your name even Alex?”

The heat returned to Lexa’s face. “No, it’s Lexa. Alex is an anagram.” She hadn’t spoken her own name in a long time, and it felt both intimate and unfamiliar to her.

“Lexa.” Clarke repeated, “Lexa. I like it. Better than Alex for sure. You sound super douchey with that name.” Lexa liked the way her name sounded on Clarke’s tongue. She said it quietly, almost devotionally.

Lexa let out a laugh, and turned on her stomach to face Clarke. “Hey, watch what you say. Alex is still your husband!”

Clarke made eye contact that drew the breath out of Lexa. “I don’t have a husband. I have a wife, and her name is Lexa.”

Lexa’s heart was pounding, for very different reasons than before. She was so close to Clarke that she could feel her breath moving the loose hairs on her forehead. When she was about to roll off of Clarke’s chest, the Princess grabbed her face and pulled her into a kiss.

Lexa was so surprised it took her a moment to realize what was going on. When Lexa finally kissed her back, it was intense and desperate. She was trying to express every emotion that she had felt this evening. She shifted so she was kneeling over the Princess, and Clarke moved her hand down from Lexa’s face, tangling her fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck to pull her closer. Lexa let out a little moan in the back of her throat at the tug.

It was enough to make them both realize what they were doing and break the kiss. Lexa disentangled herself from Clarke and sat back at the edge of the bed. Clarke sat up equally quickly, leaning against the headboard.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said, “I don’t know what I was thinking. I feel like I just preyed on the fact that you were so emotionally vulnerable.”

Lexa almost laughed. “I literally kissed you earlier. I wanted to. I just feel like I haven’t given you time to process everything.”

“You’re probably right. I should take some time to think about everything.” Clarke slid out of the bed and stood in front of Lexa. “I should go get some sleep.”

Before Lexa could respond, they were kissing again. Clarke had both her hands on Lexa’s face, and the Commander leaned into her. Clarke pulled away leaving Lexa chasing her lips. She walked to the door, before turning around.

“Lexa?”

“Yeah?” Lexa responded, her voice a little husky.

“I’m not going to tell anyone. I’ve already made up my mind about that, so please don’t try to convince me otherwise." She smiled softly at Lexa. "Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She was out the door and down the hallway before Lexa could say "Sleep well."

Chapter Text

Lexa lay on her bed the next morning, fingers tracing her lips. She couldn’t stop thinking about Clarke kissing her. How close together they’d been. The way Clarke’s fingers felt in her hair. How much she wanted to do it again. She was almost glad Clarke knew her true identity. It had been a source of panic for so long, and now she was practically relieved it was over.

She knew that she would still have to be Alex most of the time–there were too many servants around–but she was happy that she could share this part of her life with someone. She had missed being Lexa more than she realized.

For the first time in a while, she was in meetings all day with various officials from Yujleda. Intelligence had come in that the Ice Queen was organizing her army, and Lexa was helping Yujleda finalize training regimens and filling in their gaps in military knowledge. She was exhausted when she got back, emotionally drained, voice raw, and incredibly hungry.

“You’d think they’d feed their ‘esteemed’ guests a little better.” She grumbled to herself as she trudged into the dining room. Her eyes widened when she saw Clarke already sitting at the table, smiling at her obvious annoyance.

“Where have you been all day?” Clarke asked, a slight quiver in her voice, despite her composed face.

“In meetings with diplomats. All fucking day.” Lexa’s irritation was stifled by the plate set in front of her, thankful for finally being able to eat a full meal.

“Oh,” Clarke said, her shoulders releasing tension Lexa hadn’t noticed. “I kind of thought you might be avoiding me.”

“If I had a choice, I would have spent all day with you. You’re a much lesser of two evils.” Lexa grinned at the Princess.

“I didn’t say I wanted to spend time with you today. Just that I didn’t see you.”

“Oh, I see.” Lexa raised her eyebrows. “So I should not expect to see you later tonight?”

Clarke spluttered a little “No, okay fine. I do want to see you tonight. I would prefer to meet in my bedroom. It’s a little more…” She trailed off, eyeing a servant bringing Lexa another plate of food. “...private than the study. We are more likely to remain undisturbed, I mean.”

Clarke’s face turned red at the implication, and Lexa knew that she just meant that they wouldn’t have to worry about someone seeing Lexa as herself, and not as Alex, but she couldn’t help but tease.

Lexa lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Princess Clarke, we are married. I think they might know we have consummated it” Clarke’s face turned even redder as she looked around at the stiff limbed servants.

“I did not mean it like that, and you know it!” She took a piece of her uneaten dinner roll and hurled it at Lexa, who caught it with ease.

“You don’t want to play this game with me.” Lexa said.

Clarke rolled her eyes, and stood up from the table. “Whatever, Commander, I’ll see you at six.” Lexa threw the bread at Clarke’s receding back, and laughed when the Princess squeaked at the impact. She did not give Lexa the time of day, however, and kept walking out the door like nothing happened.

Lexa arrived after six. She realized a little too late into her walk that she did not actually know where Clarke’s room was. After some pointless wandering, she ended up having to ask a servant to show her. He raised his eyebrow, but she ignored him.

She quietly knocked at the door, and let herself in at Clarke’s allowance.

Clarke was laying on the bed. Her room was more well furnished than Lexa’s, containing a chair and a desk but still seemed barren. Lexa noticed that none of the art in the room was done Clarke, and was about to ask about it when Clarke spoke.

“You’re late. I thought you might not come.” There was no insecurity behind the words like there had been in the dining room earlier. It was just a statement of fact.

Lexa rubbed the back of her neck, uncomfortably. “Yeah, I kind of got lost on the way here. I had to ask someone.” She let out a laugh. “He seemed pretty shocked, actually. I don’t know what goes around about us, but I guess they assumed it’s better than it is. Well, what it was.”

“I’m sure my father fills them with some propaganda about how in love we are or something. He hates the rumors that go around about him and mom. They say that they hate each other. They were arranged too, you know.” Clarke patted the bed next to her. “Come sit down.”

“Do they hate each other?” Lexa asked, sitting down, being careful to leave an appropriate amount of space between them.

“Honestly? I’m not sure.” Clarke slid her pinky around Lexa’s, where she had left her hand between them. “Sometimes I think that I have never seen two people more in love, other times I’m not sure they even care about one another. Mostly, I think my mom resents him for taking her away from her family, even if it wasn’t really his fault.”

Clarke wasn’t looking at Lexa, but Lexa could hear the sadness in her voice. She gathered her courage, and laced their fingers together.

“I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine what that’s like.” Lexa said, squeezing Clarke’s hand.

“It’s fine honestly,” Clarke waved her off with her free hand.

“I won’t take you from your family, Clarke” Lexa said, leaning forward to catch her eye. “I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“Good. Now we both have promises that we can’t keep.”

Clarke let out a bitter laugh. “I guess so.”

She scooted closer to Lexa, pulling their hands into their lap and letting their thighs touch. Lexa felt a tug in her stomach, she wanted to kiss Clarke so badly. Instead, she bit her bottom lip, and tried to focus on something else.

“Why is none of your art in here?” Lexa asked.

“I only like to display things I love, and I barely like most things I make.”

“A tortured artist, truly.” Lexa said solemnly.

“Hey! Don’t make fun of me.” Clarke responded indignantly.

“Fine, but you have to show me your art then.”

Clarke laughed, “I will not. You can see what’s already out.”

“I want more than that though! I want to see the process.” Lexa shifted to face Clarke better. “Show me your studio.”

“No fucking way. No one is allowed in there, not even the servants. I even clean it myself”

“And why is that? Scared?” Lexa teased.

“I am not scared.”

“Then show me it.” Lexa said, “Where is it anyway?”

“That’s none of your business.” Clarke stuck her tongue out at her, scrunching her nose in a way that made Lexa’s heart twist. Then, she remembered the mysterious room.

“Holy shit, the room you pulled the painting of my eyes out of.” Lexa launched herself out of the bed, ignoring Clarke’s protests.”Ha, I don’t even need you to show me. I know where it is.”

She dashed out of the room, and jogged through the hallways. Clarke trailed her, complaining about the pace, and pleading with her to go back to the bedroom. When they finally arrived at the mystery room, Lexa stopped and waited for Clarke to catch up.

“Hey, I do really want to see your work, but I also don’t want to cross a line. Clarke, look at me. I won’t do this if you don’t want me to.”

Clarke sighed. “No, it’s okay. I want you to see it, I think.”

Lexa grinned and twisted the handle.

Chapter Text

Lexa entered the room, and stopped so quickly Clarke slammed into her back. She was in awe of what she was seeing. There were art pieces everywhere. They hung from the walls, covered the tables, the easels were packed, and there were even a few dangling from the ceiling. It was all gorgeous. As Lexa slowly walked through, careful not to disturb the pieces. The more she absorbed, the more she recognized the content of the pieces.

Everywhere she looked, she caught little pieces of herself. Her smile in one, her hands in another, and of course, her warpaint clad eyes. She turned to face an easel with a painting that Clarke was clearly still working on, curious. She let out a little gasp. It was Lexa from behind, topless, her muscles toned and tense. She could just make out the curve of her breast, where the painted version of herself tried to cover it.

“I’m everywhere.” Lexa whispered, as if afraid that a higher volume would scare the art.

“I paint beauty; The parts of it that I know and the parts of it I don’t understand.” Clarke responded.

“Which am I?”

Clarke moved closer, her face only a few inches from Lexa’s.

“Which one would you like to be?”

Lexa closed the gap between them. She had never wanted someone so badly in her life. She pushed hard into Clarke, and she reciprocated with equal intensity, her hands grabbing at Lexa’s waist and pulling her closer.

Lexa felt a moan rise in the back of her throat when the princess nipped her bottom lip. Clarke was getting braver now, her hands wandering more freely across Lexa’s body. She slid her fingers under the bottom of the Commander’s shirt, brushing the skin just above her waistband. Lexa involuntarily shifted, looking for more friction, and she felt her face go red with her lack of control.

If Clarke noticed, she didn’t say anything. She grabbed the hem of Lexa’s shirt and broke their kiss, clearly waiting for permission.

“Clarke, what if someone sees us?” Lexa worried.

“Don’t worry. As I said, I’m the only one allowed in here. Really, we have a better chance of getting walked in on in one of our rooms.”

Lexa took her shirt off in response, roughly pulling Clarke back in for a heady kiss as soon as it dropped to the floor. Clarke kept one hand absentmindedly running across Lexa’s waistband, which was driving her insane. She could feel how turned on she was, and it was difficult to keep herself from taking her pants off and begging Clarke to take her right then and there. God, it had been too long since she had slept with someone.

Clarke pulled on the cloth that restricted Lexa’s chest, clearly unsure how to take it off. Lexa smiled at her teasingly, which made Clarke let out a small whine.

“Help me take it off, please.”

Lexa realized that Clarke was just as desperate as she felt, and she forced herself to take her hands off of Clarke to unwrap her chest. When it was done, Clarke stared for a moment, not touching her.

“You’re so beautiful.” Clarke said, her voice still quiet, and Lexa blushed again.

Lexa leaned in and kissed Clarke. Clarke pulled her closer for a moment, before backing away. Lexa blinked in confusion, but then realized the Princess was clearing a space on a table.

“Hop up on the table for me, Commander.” Clarke’s voice was sultry, and Lexa felt heat pooling low in her stomach. She gently sat up on the table, careful to look around to double check no paintings were potentially in harm's way.

Clarke sidled up between her legs, and kissed her so deeply, with such want, that Lexa was sure she would have collapsed if she had not been sitting already. She couldn’t help but moan, which just drove Clarke to move faster. She massaged and pinched at Lexas’s nipples, and was rewarded with more moans. Lexa grabbed the edges of the table, breaking their kiss as her head rolled back. Clarke adjusted and was kissing down her neck, biting hard enough to feel good, but not hard enough to leave a mark.

When Clarke’s mouth found Lexa’s nipple, Lexa knew she was done for. She tried to shift closer to Clarke, but the blonde held her hips down, her fingers dipping teasingly below her waistband. Lexa moaned, mostly out of frustration.

“Clarke, please.”

‘Sorry,” Clarke said teasingly, her hand slipping down to grab Lexa’s ass. “Do you want me to do something?”

“Shut up and fuck me.” Clarke raised an eyebrow at her. “Please”

Clarke came back up to kiss her, and Lexa could feel the Princess smile against her mouth. Clarke deftly undid the button on the Commander’s pants, and started to tug them down. Lexa had to awkwardly pull her hips up, using her arms to keep her whole body in the air. Clarke let them drop to the floor and traced a finger over Lexa’s bicep, admiring it for a moment, and then dropped to her knees.

Lexa gasped at the sudden intense contact. Clarke’s mouth was on her clit, and she dug her fingers into the Princess’s hair. She felt the vibration of Clarke’s moan against her, and was turned on even further. It was not going to take much to make her come, and she could tell Clarke knew it. Clarke increased her pace and Lexa’s moans became louder, turning to a yell when she came. She pulled Clarke onto her feet, and pulled her into a messy kiss, savoring the taste of herself on Clarke’s tongue.

“That was quick,” Clarke grinned at her, “Been a while, huh?”

Lexa flushed, “Shut up, it’s your turn.”

If the art was scared of loud noises, it certainly did not show it.

Chapter Text

Lexa woke up in her own bed the next morning. Despite Princess Clarke asking her to come back to her chambers, she had refused. Lexa felt too much anxiety about waking up in a place where someone might see her. Afterall, Clarke had kept her promise so far, and the staff still called her Alex and showed no signs of suspicion.

It had been almost a year since they had moved from Arkadia, and Lexa was spending more and more time in Clarke’s bedroom with each passing day. Lexa found that she loved watching Clarke paint. The way she furrowed her brow and stuck her tongue out a little in concentration made Lexa’s heart flutter.

Clarke started accompanying Lexa to her battle practices, sitting on the nearby wall while Lexa fought with practice partners. She often used a sword, but preferred practicing hand to hand, in case she was ever disarmed. Clarke often chided her about this.

“Why bother the practice if you’re not even going to see battle? You’re the Commander. You lead from a tent.”

“Exactly,” Lexa responded, “I am the Commander. I lead by example, and therefore on the field. I am not a coward.”

But, one time, when they were having sex, Clarke admitted that she thought Lexa taking her opponents down was hot.

“No one stands a chance against you.” She had muttered into Lexa’s ear.

But their routine was not to last for long. One morning, at a particularly early breakfast, Lexa received news from a messenger. They were to return to Arkadia immediately. The negotiations with the Ice Nation were failing, and there was an army setting up camp on their borders.

Lexa rushed into Clarke’s room, not stopping to admire Clarke’s peaceful look as she slept.

“Clarke,” Lexa shook the sleeping princess. “Clarke, wake up. You have to pack.”

Clarke’s eyes opened a touch. “I have to what? Lexa, what’s going on? Why are you running around my room like a chicken with its head cut off?” She had mumbled the first half, but the second half was definitely teasing.

Lexa paused from pulling Clarke’s trunk and clothes out.

“We need to go back to Arkadia. Now. We’re on the verge of attack and they need me. Oh god, they need me.” The panic in Lexa’s voice was evident.

Clarke sat up now, the sleep from her eyes gone now. “Woah, woah. Slow down there. It’s going to be okay. I can pack my own stuff pretty quickly. We’ll be on the road soon.”

Lexa nodded. “We have half an hour before the coach is ready to leave. I’ve asked for breakfast to be prepared for you for the ride. Will you be ready by then?”

“Yes. Go worry about your own things now, please.” All of the teasing was gone from her voice, and Lexa was grateful, as she had needed to know Clarke was taking it seriously.

Lexa had brought a notebook into the carriage, and had spent the first hour and a half furiously writing battle plans and notes to herself about potential strategies and weaknesses. When the tip of her pencil snapped, she cursed and dug around in her knapsack looking for another one. When she couldn’t find one, she pulled out her knife to sharpen the broken knife.

“Jesus,” Clarke said, “Are you planning on killing that thing?”

Lexa looked up, surprised. To be quite honest, she had been so absorbed with her work that she had forgotten Clarke was there. “I–uh, no. I was going to sharpen it.”

“Well, you look more like you’re going to slit its throat. I am shocked it lasted for as long as it did, the way you’re pressing down on the paper.”

Lexa began to sharpen the pencil with quick short strokes. The finished product looked more square than pointy, but Lexa didn’t really care. It still wrote.

“I’m just a little stressed. I feel like I have fallen behind. I haven’t been preparing for this at all. Arkadia has not done a very good job of keeping me in the loop, and I have been so busy worrying about getting soldiers trained that I forgot that it’s also my job to make sure they stay alive. I barely began to think about strategy.”

Clarke cut off Lexa’s nervous ramble. “It doesn’t all fall on your shoulders. I’ve been in enough meetings with my father to know that there are at least a dozen other people who are in charge of this.”

“I know that, but I’m the Commander. They’re expecting me to have all these things mapped out, and I have been away for so long.” Lexa’s started to hyperventilate. “I feel so unprepared.”

“Exactly, you’ve been away for so long. Doing your job. You have single handedly guaranteed that Yujleda has stayed within our alliance.” Clarke moved next to Lexa, and rubbed comforting circles on her back. “Shh, it’s going to be okay.”

Lexa looked up at her, seeming very small, before timidly asking. “What if I’m not good enough?”

Clarke smiled comfortingly. “Oh, Sweetheart, you are more than good enough. You’re a great fighter, I’ve seen you take down people twice your size, and you’re a great leader. Plus,” She cracked a smile, “You’re smarter than all of your generals combined. And I would know, I grew up with most of them.”

Lexa leaned into her side, momentarily distracted by the fact that Clarke had used a pet name for her. Beyond calling her Commander, Clarke had never called her anything but Lexa. She oddly felt comforted by the use of the pet name. It made her feel emotionally intimate with the Princess.

After a moment of silence, and her breathing returning to normal, Lexa sat up and, very gently, pressed a kiss to Clarke’s cheek. “Thank you, Princess.”

At that moment, the carriage halted, jerking them awkwardly from their seats.

“Ah,” Clarke said, her hand brushing her cheek, “We’re here. Home, if we can really call it that.”

Chapter Text

Lexa was rushed into a meeting as soon as she stepped out of the carriage. While she had been in correspondence with the war council, her opinions and strategies had been sorely missed. With her back in the room, everyone seemed to feel a touch more comfortable with their odds against the Ice Nation.

Lexa, on the other hand, was itching to get back to Clarke. They had not seen each other for hours, and, well, she missed her. Also, she wanted to go back to being Lexa. She had gotten so used to being called by her given name, she had almost not responded to one of her generals when he had called her Alex.

The King was the one to snap Lexa out of her reverie. “Commander, do you think that the Podakru’s 15th regime should hold the western or eastern side?”

Lexa studied the map before them for a moment. “Eastern. The ravine there will mean we take more losses, so we need more troops there.”

Asr the generals filed out, the King gestured for Lexa to stay behind. He seemed to have aged ten years in the one year Lexa had been gone. His hair was no longer salt and pepper but white, and the circles under his eyes were darker than ever.

“I do not wish to go to war.”

“I know, your majesty. I don’t think anyone wants to. We will sustain many losses, and so soon after the mountain men too.” Lexa felt the sadness well between them.

“I do not wish to leave my wife behind again. She was distraught enough the last time.” Lexa did not respond, as he seemed to be talking more to himself than to her. He looked back up. “How are things going with Clarke? I am excited to speak with her. I feel as though I have not seen my little girl in so long.”

“Things are going much better than when we last saw you, your majesty. We have developed a close bond. I was hoping to see her after this, actually.”

“Ah, that’s great to hear. I told you she would come around. I must not keep you though. I know Clarke does not like waiting.”

Lexa laughed politely. “No she does not. I will see you at dinner, your majesty.”

She left the room, and the King turned back to studying the maps.

Lexa had to ask for directions to their chambers to her embarrassment. She had only spent a couple of months in the castle, and had not been given much time to explore. Clarke was waiting in their room, sprawled out on the bed, sketchbook in hand. When Lexa entered, she looked up and smiled. “Lexa! You’re finally here. I thought my father might have been holding you hostage.”

Lexa felt flutters in her stomach at the sound of her given name on her wife’s lips. “He definitely tried to, but when I told him I was going to spend time with you, he practically shoved me out of the room.”

Clarke laughed and Lexa couldn’t help but smile. She really had grown to love the princess over the past month, and felt less uncomfortable than expected at the prospect of sharing a room with her.

As if sensing what Lexa was thinking about, Clarke said, “Also, I told the staff to stay out of our rooms when we’re here. I’m sure they think it’s because we’re constantly having sex, but I know how sore your ribs can get, and I don’t want you to have to bind unnecessarily.”

Lexa blinked in surprise, she had never mentioned to Clarke how painful her ribs could get after extended periods of binding. “Thank you, that’s very kind of you. You really didn’t have to do that.”

“Well, there is also the benefit of being able to have sex whenever we want now. So it’s not entirely selfless.” Clarke deflected.

Lexa rolled her eyes, and came to sit on the bed with her.

“So what did you do today?” Lexa asked.

“Not much.” Clarke shrugged, and sat up to face Lexa. “I mostly just unpacked and did some sketching. I was too worn out to wander around quite yet. Maybe tomorrow.”

Lexa nodded. “Sounds like a productive day to me. Thanks for unpacking for me.”

“I like things in a particular way, so again, not selfless. It’s not like I care about you or anything.” She smiled and playfully shoved Lexa’s shoulder. “Anyway, how were your meetings? Did they go okay?”

“Yeah, they were okay. It’s some heavy stuff, deciding who might die in what battles. Your father seemed pretty upset about it.”

Clarke looked surprised. “Did he say something? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him express anything of the sort.”

“Yeah, he talked to me after about how he was worried about leaving the Queen. He said it’s hard on her.”

“Ah, yeah, after he almost died–when you saved him–she kind of lost it. I think she didn’t realize that he isn’t immortal. He’s so strong and powerful, it doesn’t seem like he could ever get hurt. Until…”

There was a heavy silence between them. Clarke didn’t have to finish her sentence. It was a long time before either of them spoke.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked. “If we do really go to war with the Ice Nation, are you going to fight?”

Lexa swallowed, “I think I have to. I can’t be the one to decide where these men go into battle–where they might die–and be sitting safely within the castle walls.”

“You could.” Clarke looked at her, vulnerability seeping out of her.

“I would be a coward. I am not a coward.”

“You’d be my coward.”

Lexa softened slightly. “I care about you a lot, Clarke, but I could not live with myself if I did not fight on the battlefield.”

Clarke slumped against her. “I figured, but I had to ask. I feel like I just got you and I don’t want to lose you.”

Lexa wrapped her arms around her, pulling the Princess into her chest. “There’s no war right now. I’m not going anywhere.”

Lexa felt the untruth in the words, and knew Clarke must have too, but they held each other anyway, pretending to be in ignorance together.

Chapter Text

Lexa spent the next few days exhausted, spending her time arguing with generals, planning strategies and positionings, and overseeing–and occasionally participating in–trainings. She knew objectively they were prepared, but she still worried, and it was starting to take a toll on her.

She came back to their room late one night to find Clarke still awake. She was looking at Lexa with her eyebrows drawn together in concern.

“Lexa, you have been working too hard lately. I’m starting to worry about you.”

Lexa slumped down onto the bed. “I know. I’m sorry. I need to–you know that.”

Clarke wrapped her arms around her, “I know. I know.” She buried her face in Lexa’s neck for a moment. “Here, let me help you get ready for bed.”

Lexa allowed her to take her shirt off and unfasten the cloth around her chest. Clarke neatly folded them, and went to grab Lexa’s sleeping shirt, when there was a rustle at the door. They both jumped, and Clarke threw the shirt at Lexa, who put it on as fast as her adrenaline flooded body allowed.

Clarke stepped towards the door, only to realize a piece of paper had been slipped underneath. “Hey, it’s okay. Just a message for you.”

Lexa flopped on her back. “Jesus, that scared me. I thought for a moment… What does it say? The message.”

Clarke shot her a look of sympathy, before joining her on the bed. “Hmm, it’s from my father. ‘Alex - You are to move out to the Trikru camp at first light. Scouts with information on the Ice Nation army to meet you there. I trust in your planning.’”

Lexa felt herself pale a little, and she could tell Clarke noticed because she put her hand on Lexa’s leg to steady her.

“Lexa, what exactly does this mean?” She whispered.

“I–That’s the camp on the front lines. They want me to command from there. I thought this would happen, but not so soon. Oh god, I need to pack.” Lexa started to get up before Clarke gently grabbed her arm and tugged her back down.

“The front lines? Like, on the border? Is my father crazy? He needs you here.” She paused before saying more quietly, “I need you here.”

Lexa closed her eyes for a moment, and felt sleep pulling at her despite everything. “I want to be here with you, but they need me there. I can get information faster there and therefore make decisions faster. I would be saving lives.”

“And what about your life? You could die out there too.” Lexa could tell Clarke was getting angry, and she was just so tired.

“Clarke, we talked about this. I have to go out there. You knew this was coming.”

Clarke shook her head. “That doesn’t mean I like it.”

Lexa’s eyes stung as she tried to hold back her tears. “I know, Clarke, I know. I don’t like it either. I just can’t handle this right now. I need to pack and I feel like I’m going to fall asleep doing it.”

Clarke caressed her face. “I’m sorry. This is about you. Listen, you sleep and I’ll pack your stuff, okay? I am not the one with a sleep debt so large they’re going to foreclose on me soon.”

Lexa cracked a smile. “Hey, I’m not going to get foreclosed on.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re sleep talking right now. Go to sleep.”

Lexa drifted off quickly, but stirred when Clarke got into bed with her. She was too exhausted to move, and as she was falling back to sleep, she felt lips brush her forehead and a whispered “I love you, Lexa.”

Lexa awoke the next morning to a fully packed trunk and the memory of Clarke’s confession. She was about to leave when she heard a groggy, “Are you gonna leave without saying goodbye?”

Clarke has woken up and looked both sleepy and annoyed, which softened Lexa’s heart. “I’m sorry, you were sleeping and–”

“And you weren’t going to say goodbye to your literal wife whom you may never see again?” Okay, less sleepy, more annoyed now.

“I’m sorry.” Lexa rushed back over to Clarke and kissed her forehead. “Clarke?”

“Hmm?” Clarke seemed more satisfied now.

“Tell me if I’m wrong, but did you say something to me before going to sleep last night?”

Clarke flushed red. “I–uh, don’t you have to leave?”

Lexa nodded and kissed Clarke one more time before heading to the door. She paused in the doorway, turned, and felt her heartbeat pick up. “Clarke?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

With that, Lexa quickly left the room, knowing she had not left anything to regret.

The journey to the Trikru camp was not as long as the one to Yujleda, but it was much more uncomfortable, as Lexa rode on horseback, rather than in a carriage. It had been a long time since she had ridden for more than a few hours. She was really going to have quite the adjustment period back into the army, being a princess–well, prince, technically–had been very cushy.

When she finally arrived, she was sore and could barely walk correctly, much to her embarrassment. The camp was full of hustle and bustle, soldiers practicing, putting up tents, drinking and playing poker. Lexa felt right at home. On some level, she had missed this. It had been the majority of her adult life, after all.

She entered the command tent, and a smile nearly split her face open.

“Lincoln!”

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the prince himself.” Lincoln smiled back, “It’s good to see you, man.”

“What are you doing here?”

“After you got married, they gave me your position as corporal, and I’ve been doing a good job, so they promoted me to general.”

“That’s great. You deserve it.”

“No matter how high I rise, I can never seem to get out from under your command though”

They laughed, and it felt good. Lexa felt less alone. Her friend, or at least the closest thing to one she had ever had in the army, was here.

“I was told I’d be receiving a scouting report when I got here. Have you seen them?”

Lincoln frowned. “I actually haven’t, which is strange, they were supposed to be back a little while ago.”

There was a yell outside, followed by the sounding of an alarm. Lexa and Lincoln rushed outside to see a bloodied man dragging another, more bloodied man behind him. Lincoln clearly recognized him. He turned to Lexa, “That’s Bellamy. He is one of the scouts.” He then turned to the man. “Blake! What is going on here? Where is Jaha?”

The man, Bellamy Blake, looked up in defeat. “We ran into a few Ice Nation scouts. He killed Wells.” He nudged the unconscious man with his foot, hatred in his eyes.

“And what purpose does he serve?” Lincoln asked.

Lexa finally approached. “Information. That is no lowly scout. That is Prince Roan.”

Chapter Text

They had the Prince detained for almost twenty four hours now, and had made very little progress in getting him to talk. Well, actually, no progress at all. Lexa had let a man named Titus, a bloodthirsty interrogation specialist, run the show so far, but she was getting impatient.

Lexa walked into the tent where they had created a makeshift containment area. The tent was guarded around the clock and Prince Roan was chained to a hefty wooden post. It was not much, but it worked.

In the center, Roan was slumped and bloodied but still had his jaw set in resilience. Lexa raised her eyebrow in clear question at Titus. “Anything?”

“No, Commander. I’m afraid he’s being quite difficult.”

She sighed. “Alright, it is my turn then. Please take your leave, Sergeant.”

“Commander–”

“No. Titus, leave me alone with him.”

He shot her a glare before stalking out of the tent. Lexa turned to face the Prince.

“Would you like some water?” She asked him, “I’m sure Titus hasn’t offered.”

Roan didn’t move, but she saw him looking at her from the corner of his eye.

“Alright, have it your way. We can do this the hard way.” She pulled a length of cloth out of her pocket, and began to wrap her hands to protect her knuckles. When she finished, she took off the strap that held her canteen around her body, and took a long drink, before setting it down.

When she returned her attention to the Prince, he was looking up at her. She raised her eyebrows in response.

“Water?” He croaked out.

“Now?” She asked, “That’s inconvenient timing.”

“Well, I thought about it, and I think I would rather be hydrated than not when you beat the crap out of me.” He smiled at himself, but then winced, clearly already in pain.

She picked the canteen back up. “Open your mouth.” He followed her instructions, and she poured some water into his mouth. He swallowed, wincing again.

“You know, I get why you don’t talk, but I should let you know we have not informed the Ice Queen of your capture. You’re not exactly here for ransom.” Lexa placed the canteen back onto the table.

To her surprise, he began to laugh, a weak one, but still a laugh all the same. “Even if you did send someone, she doesn’t give a single fuck whether I live or die.”

“So why don’t you tell us her plans?”

“You’ll kill me either way. At least this way I die with honor.”

Lexa nodded slowly. “Perhaps, but it would be less painful if you told me something. It could be our little secret.” She winked at him, and he laughed weakly again.

“You’re a change of pace. That last guy was a real asshole.”

Lexa snorted, “Titus? Yeah he can be a real dick” She paused. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’d believe me.” The silence between them thickened as they were both reminded of their positions.

“Look,” Prince Roan said, “If I tell you where her armies are positioned, can you promise me a swift death? I am tired.”

Lexa recognized the despair in his eyes. “I will have to wait for my scouts to confirm your information, but yes.” She paused, her eyes flashing, “But if you’re playing me, I will make sure myself you have a slow and torturous death.”

He nodded, and for the first time since Lexa had entered the tent, let fear show on his face. When he had finished listing the locations he knew, he had given Lexa the location of six more troops than her own intelligence had brought in, two of which she was sure they would have never found on their own.

It took four long days for Lexa’s scouts to confirm Prince Roan’s information. After their first conversation, she only went back to see him once, to make sure he was given some food and water. On some level, he reminded her of Clarke, and that made her deeply uncomfortable.

She missed Clarke greatly, even though it had been less than a week since she had last seen her wife. She had attempted to write several letters, but she felt that her life as Commander was much too brutal to describe to Clarke, and she was never that good with expressing her feelings, so there was not much to tell.

Bellamy Blake opened the flap of the command tent and waited for permission to enter. Lexa made eye contact with him before speaking, “Trooper Blake, enter please. What is your report? Was the Prince correct?”

Bellamy strode into the tent, “Commander, all of the locations Roan gave were accurate.” He practically spat out the Prince’s name. It did not go unnoticed that he did not use the proper title.

Lexa nodded, “Thank you, Trooper. You are dismissed.” She walked back to her map of the surrounding areas, and started to move pieces representing the various troops, before looking back up at the unmoving soldier. “Is there something you would like to say?”

He stared back at her for a moment, “Permission to speak freely?”

Lexa sighed, she was tired, she had been dealing with know-it-all generals all day, and she still needed to solidify and send out her battle plans. “Go ahead.”

“Are you planning on executing him publicly? Because I would like to see that son-of-a-bitch die. A life for a life.” He set his jaw and Lexa felt the exhaustion cause her shoulders to slump.

“I have not made a decision yet, but I do not think so.” She continued at the angry look on Bellamy’s face. “If his execution is public, he may just become a martyr, and God knows I do not need that right now. If it is public, I will make sure you are there. I know what it is like to lose a comrade”

“He was my friend.” Bellamy said, more sadness in his voice than anger now. With that, he turned and left.

Lexa allowed herself to slump fully on the table for a few minutes, feeling as though the weight of the world rested on her shoulders and the real fighting had not even begun. She forced herself to sit back up, and went back to organizing her faux troops.

A little while later, Lexa was not really sure how much time had passed, Titus stepped into the tent.

“Commander, we need to deal with the prisoner. He has clearly given us all the information he is ever going to.”

“I am aware. Give me a minute to finish this up, and I will meet you inside his tent.”

He nodded, and stepped back out. Lexa focused on finishing a copy of her battle strategy to send to the troops to the east of her current location. After she was done, she tracked down a courier, and sent him to ride off with it immediately.

When she finally arrived at Prince Roan’s tent, she could hear loud sounds coming from within. She quickened her pace and rushed inside to find Titus slamming the butt of his sword into the top of the Prince’s head.

“Stop that at once!” Lexa called out, “You do not do anything to the prisoner without my permission. You said ‘we’ needed to deal with the prisoner, and I gave you that because I know you enjoy the power, but we both know I get the final say.”

“But, Commander, he lunged at me! And we were going to execute him regardless.” Titus was indigent, and Lexa was hitting her breaking point with the amount of self righteous men she had dealt with today.

“Get out right now. I will execute him myself. I will take him to the southern woods, as to not cause a scene. I’m certain there are more than a few curious soldiers outside from the ruckus you caused, and I will not have a martyr on my hands, yes?”

“Yes, Commander.” Titus at least had the decency to look a little ashamed as he rushed out of the tent.

Titus had already unhooked Roan from the post, leaving him still in chains, but no longer attached to anything. Lexa sighed and double checked she still had both her sword and dagger with her before nudging the Prince in the ribs with her foot.

“Get up. I promised you a swift death if you cooperated. I can still make it slow and painful.”

Roan groaned in pain, and stumbled awkwardly to his feet. The chains that attached his ankles and wrists were a touch short and it took him a moment to figure out how to walk without tripping.

“Good. Now walk ahead of me.”

Roan shuffled forward. “You really showed him, huh? I could practically see his tail between his legs.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, knowing that the Prince could not see her. “That’s none of your business. I thought you were knocked out, anyway.”

He shrugged, which caused him to stumble, he caught himself before speaking again. “I figured he wouldn’t hit me again if I pretended to be out. That shit hurt a lot more than I thought it would.”

Lexa couldn’t help but laugh a little. “You were tortured for almost 24 hours straight, but that hurt more than you thought?”

“You know, I really must have brain damage because right before he hit me, I thought to myself ‘I’m the Prince. What can he do to me?’” He laughed derisively.

Lexa didn’t respond, her heart twisting in her chest. Clarke had said almost the exact same thing to her when she had promised to keep Lexa’s secret.

They walked for another ten minutes or so, before coming into a clearing.

“Stop there.” Lexa said, “It’s time. Get onto your hands and knees.”

Roan complied. “Do it fast, okay? Don’t tell me when it’s coming.” He took deep breaths and squeezed his eyes shut.

Lexa’s stomach was turning. She raised her sword and paused at the top. Her mind was racing. She brought her sword down and with a crack, she slashed the chains on one side of the Prince. She quickly broke the other side. Roan just stared up at her in shock.

“Fuck,” She said, “Do not make me regret this. Get out of here. Now. I will kill you if I see you again.”

He stood up, eyes wild, and sprinted away, disappearing into the woods almost instantly.