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Chapter Text

Once upon a time in Snowdin, there was a house, where two boneheads lived. The home of skeletal dudes was smoking.

Papyrus was cooking.

“NYEHEHEHE!!! THIS WILL BE MY BEST YET!” said Papyrus as he was performing a ritual that turns the rock solid spaghetti into a delicious Italian delicacy. Meanwhile, sans was busy selling hot dogs at Hotlands. He needed money for ketchup, even though he was already stockpiling on it. Issue was, Papyrus needed all that ketchup for his grandest spaghetti yet, announced by the boneman as “EL GRANDE SPAGHETTI DE GRANDE PAPYRUS!”. He was only at the beginning for a long pastaful journey.

Suddenly, an animatronic bear materialized into existence right in front of Papyrus’ house. The bear raised his eyebrow, preparing to unleash his signature. His name, supposedly, was Frederick “Fredbear” Fazbear, Freddy for short.

“Domain Expansion.” Freddy pointed his index finger at Papyrus’ house, turning it into a Five Nights At Freddy’s restaurant.

Papyrus somehow didn’t notice that his entire house changed. Too busy cooking spaghetti.

With a determined stare, Freddy Fazbear stepped forth, entering his house, now a restaurant. That, somehow, managed to catch Papyrus’ attention.

“GREETINGS, FELLOW GUEST!” said Papyrus.

“This is now the property of Frederick “Fredbear” Fazbear” announced Freddy menacingly.

“NYEHEHE! THAT IS A FUNNY JOKE, BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY THE HOUSE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND HIS BROTHER SANS!” chuckled Papyrus, but Fredbear was not laughing.

“You are incorrect. Take a look around.” said Freddy, and then Papyrus looked around. He realized that, indeed, it was not his house anymore.

“HMMMM….I THINK I SEE SOMETHING DIFFERENT HERE…” Papyrus scratched his bony chin. Freddy raised his eyebrow, not sure if Papyrus was oblivious or acting like it.

“Indeed. Now…” said Freddy before Papyrus interrupted him.

“SAY, I LIKE IT! THANKS FOR THIS BRAND NEW KITCHEN, THIS WILL GREATLY HELP PAPYRUS’ PROJECT!!!” said Papyrus, whose words briefly caught the Fredbear off guard.

“...Your feedback is appreciated, however, allow me to remind you: This is now the property of Five Nights at Freddy’s.” said Freddy confusingly and menacingly.

“SO YOU’RE SAYING OUR HOUSE IS A RESTAURANT?” asked Papyrus.

“Was I not clear enough? This is now the property of Five Nights at Freddy’s.” said Fredbear.

“WOWIE!!!! I GOTTA TELL SANS THAT WE’RE PART OF A FAMOUS RESTAURANT THAT I FIRST HEARD OF!” said Papyrus without any sense of irony. Freddy’s nose began to fume out steam as he stomped.

“What….did you say?” glared Freddy at him as his eyes turned red.

“THAT I GOTTA TELL SANS THAT WE ARE PART OF A RESTAURANT THAT I FIRST HEARD OF?” asked Papyrus, unafraid of the rumbling bear.

“You….do...not...DARE….TO INSULT FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S!!!” roared Freddy as he began charging his attack, but suddenly, Papyrus juggled his finger, immediately pacifying the bear in the process.

“NOW, NOW! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, DID NOT MEAN TO INSULT THE RESTAURANT. NOW STOP WITH THE RUCKUS, OR ELSE I WILL HAVE TO ASSERT SANCTIONS!!!” said Papyrus angrily.

“You think you are in charge here?” said Freddy audaciously.

“YES, BECAUSE IT IS MY HOUSE!!!!! NOW BE NICE OR ELSE YOU WILL ONLY GET 99.99% OF A PORTION INSTEAD OF A 100%!!!!!!!!” Papyrus shook his angry fists at the bear. Fredbear was confused by the sanction, still unable to tell if the skeleton man was serious or not. However, he noted that the skeleton had something that he was unable to put in words. Perhaps immediate violence was not the way.

“Let’s make a deal then...if you want your house to be yours again, you must go around the multiverse and consume 5 Fingers of Baba Yaga. Once you ate them all, you must renounce something you love. Then...you will fight me, one versus one, no items, Final Destination, our abilities only. If you win, I will forever exit this realm. If you not, the legacy of Fazbear in the Underground shall be eternal.” Freddy Fazbear gave the deal.

“ALRIGHTY!!! DEAL IS DEAL!! ALTHOUGH I HAVE A QUESTION….” Papyrus accepted the deal, though he still had some pondering in his mind.

“You only have one chance.” said Freddy menacingly.

“WHAT THE HECK IS A FINGER OF BABA YAGA?!!!!! WHO IS BABA YAGA???!!!!!” Papyrus demanded answers.

But Fredbear refused to elaborate and left the room, chuckling as he thought he ensured his victory. Now Papyrus was confused.

“SANS!!!!!!!!!” yelled Papyrus out loud.

Suddenly, sans.

“sup” greeted sans in sansly way.

“AH, HERE YOU ARE! YOU ARE SURPRISINGLY QUICK TODAY!” commented Papyrus.

“actually, i just arrived. saw that our house got a bit of a change, huh.” said sans.

“YES, WE DO HAVE A BIGGER KITCHEN NOW! ALTHOUGH WE HAVE A PROBLEM…” said Papyrus.

“is it a problem you can’t bear to deal with?” sans pulled out one out of his pocket.

“SANS, NOW IS IT NOT THE TIME FOR PUNS!!!!” seethed Papyrus before he realized he didn’t even tell him what the issue was. “WAIT, HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?”.

“oh i just saw him walk out of the house. he seemed to be in a hurry, though he only started running because he saw me.” elaborated sans.

“YEAH, BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO BEAR YOUR PUNS!” said Papyrus.

“hehehe, that was a good one. that being said, dunno why was he running. anyway, lets get to business, shall we?” said sans.

“YES INDEED! I MUST GO ON A JOURNEY TO DEFEAT THAT BEAR!!!” announced Papyrus as he shook his fist in the air.

“good luck, bro. i know you can do it.” cheered sans for him, with sincerity.

“OF COURSE I WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!!” said Papyrus before he realized that he still has something uncleared. It was disrupting his inner peace. “SAY, SANS. I’VE GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU.”.

“yea?” said sans.

“WHAT IS A FINGER OF BABA YAGA?” asked Papyrus. Suddenly, silence.

“oops, can’t tell.” answered sans.

“WHY NOT? I CAN TELL THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW!!!” asked Papyrus.

“spoilers.” said sans.

“WHAT?!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPOILERS?!!!!” said Papyrus very quietly. The “big boned” skeleton just winked.

“OH, I SEE HOW IT IS! VERY WELL THEN! SO BE IT, I WILL FIND IT OUT MYSELF!” declared Papyrus before he realized another thing. “WAIT A SEC, DIDN’T HE SAY SOMETHING LIKE MULTIVERSE OR SOMETHING?”.

“he sure did.” confirmed sans.

“SO….HOW WILL I TRAVEL ACROSS THE MULTIVERSE?” Papyrus was asking himself some real questions.

“you asked the right person for it, bro.” winked sans once again.

“OH HECK, REALLY??? THAT IS SO COOL BRO!!!!” said Papyrus happily.

“as long as you keep a secret, then we shall do it.” said sans.

“OF COURSE I CAN KEEP A SECRET! PAPYRUS IS THE GREATEST KEEPER OF SECRETS SINCE ALPHYS!” said Papyrus. Then both of the skeleton dudes went to the basement, which was also now Five Nights-styled, but what was inside remained the same.

And what was inside? The teleporter, called “easy ketchup access machine”. It looked like a teleporter.

“SANS, DID YOU WORK ON THIS THROUGH OUT THIS TIME?!!!!” Papyrus shouted out of surprise.

“yup.” sans kept his goofy smile.

“AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE LAZYBONES, BUT YOU WERE REAL SCIENTIST-BONES THROUGH OUT ALL THIS TIME?!! I MEAN, I KINDA KNEW THAT, BUT I NEVER KNEW YOU HAD SUCH PROJECT.” praised Papyrus.

“listen, there was this really banger ketchup in some universe, so i had establish a supply route.” sans elaborated himself.

“ALL OF THAT EFFORT FOR A KETCHUP??? I AM NOT SURE IF I SHOULD BE BAFFLED OR IMPRESSED?” Papyrus was questioning himself once again.

“alright, lets get this show on the run. basically what you gotta do is to step in and say the magic word. now lemme just…” sans suddenly grabbed a paper then wrote the magic word, which shall be uttered by the taller skeleton in a moment. Then he folded the paper into a paper plane. Papyrus already went in the teleporter. Once he finished writing the so called magic word, sans threw the plane at Papyrus. With his boney hand, Papyrus snatched it as if he was swatting down a fly. He unrolled the piece and his eye (sockets?) were laid upon the magic words.

“FINGUS DINGUS PINGAS!”.

S uddenly, his vision began to wobble. It was no longer clear, as he began seeing CRT lines while techno music from video game blasted in his mind, the real techno gamer kind. He wanted to scream “SANS WHAT IS THIS?!” but it was too late.

He teleported. Almost few seconds after, sans went inside the teleporter.

“well, gotta make sure that things go smoothly.” shrugged sans before he said his own magic words. And just like his brother, he began tripping like hell, although the music is his mind were flatulent remixes of Moldavian trumpet songs. Real fast ones.

And so, sans teleported as well, to another universe, or perhaps just another place in their own world? But who knows?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON [ JUJU KATZEN ] !!!

Chapter Text

Papyrus has, indeed, teleported.

Teleported in front of a shrine, he has.

A shrine surrounded by cherry blossoms. Though it was winter, so the nice part had to wait.

The shrine stood in front of Papyrus like a castle in front of a noble knight. Yet unlike a castle, there was this elegance to it that wasn’t usually found in fortresses. Of course, the skeleton of Royal Guard had a comment for the carefully crafted structure.

“WOWIE!!! THAT IS QUITE A CASTLE!!! ASGORE SHOULD PROBABLY TAKE A NOTE, NYEHEHEHE!” said Papyrus before he took a look around, wondering in what direction he should go. He immediately realized that the location was not random. It had something that he needed: the Finger of Baba Yaga. Logically, considering that he appeared right in front of a building, he assumed that the structure itself was a clue.

“NOW LETS SEE IF THIS NICE CASTLE HAS THAT FINGER!” mused Papyrus to himself as he stepped forth, placing his hand on the wooden doors of the shrine. With a push, not exactly a gentle one but not exactly a bum-rush, the wooden door let out a creak, letting Papyrus inside.

Inside there was….nothing. Well, aside from usual stuff like dragon lion statues and such. Just wooden floor, wooden walls, sometimes a bronze dragon lion but that was it.

“MUST BE GHOSTS HERE OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE IT SURE AIN’T FULL!” jested Papyrus as he stepped inside, wondering if there will be any residents of the spectral nature inside. What he missed out was that above him, a knife with blue luminescence was firmly placed inside the wooden wall. A rather hard thing to ignore, considering that the rest of the shrine was in dull brown.

With each step taken, the floor kept creaking and creaking. Aside from his self talking, that was the only sound echoing in the empty shrine. Not that it was a first time that the skeletal guard of royalty had its foot on an uncharted yet seemingly unpopulated territory. His basement was kind of like that too.

After taking a look around, only thing he found particularly interesting was another door that wasn’t the exit. It was about the same size as the door behind him. Considering that he had nowhere else to go, he approached the door.

Papyrus had a thought before he managed to lay his boney hands on a creaky wooden door. “HMMM, YES! THIS MUST BE WHERE THE FINGER IS-”

Suddenly, in a blink of an eye, a knife with blue luminescence landed just few inches away from his face. It took the Royal Guard a second or two to glance over to the weapon of choice, staring at the beautifully glowing yet fatal item.

“NOW NOW! IT MUST BE THE GHOSTS!” Papyrus realized as he was about to turn back, chastise those “ghosts” for being so reckless with knives, only to glance over and see something, or rather someone that he didn’t quite expect.

A human maid in blue and white, standing right in front of him, greeting the skeletal man with nothing but a determined glare. Papyrus however, was in awe.

“OH...MY GOD!!!! A HUMAN?!! WOWIE!!!! I DIDN’T EXPECT A HUMAN HERE!!” gushed Papyrus, much to maid’s confusion. Papyrus expected something akin to a stone-faced response, but the maid pulled out more luminescent knives, preparing herself to throw as many as possible with all her might. Papyrus realized that human’s intentions were not benign to his safety.

“WAIT A SEC! HAVE YOU THROWN THOSE KNIVES? HOW RECKLESS, YOU COULD HAVE HURT YOURSELF, HUMAN!!!” Papyrus scolded her, but that was not enough to make her sheathe her knives. She was just few moments from launching a volley of knives directly at Papyrus’ boney face.

But Papyrus juggled his finger.

“Hngh!” flinched the maid, suddenly feeling weak in her arms, almost like they became spaghetti. Her arms began to tremble, realizing that even just carrying knives became a difficult task. “How...how did you do this? I can’t...throw them.”.

“FIRST OF ALL, I DO NOT SEEK A VIOLENCE! SECOND OF ALL, THIS CAN BE RESOLVED WITH TALKING! THIRD OF ALL, BE CAREFUL WITH KNIVES!!!” Papyrus gave his reasons, which somehow pacified the maid.

“I apologize….I mistook you for an adversary.” the maid bowed down, regretful that she just attacked basically an innocent intruder of the shrine.

“IT IS OKAY!! I FORGIVE!!! BUT BE MINDFUL NEXT TIME.” Papyrus didn’t mind the attack so much, since it was all well. However, the maid was utterly confused by the existence of a spaghetti cooking enjoying talking skeleton.

“If I can ask, what might you be?” asked the maid.

“OH, WHAT AM I? I AM GLAD YOU ASKED!!! I AM PAPYRUS AND I AM A PART OF ROYAL GUARD! NOW, HUMAN! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?” the skeleton introduced himself with as much grandeur as he was known for back at Snowdin.

“My name is Sakuya Izayoi. I happen to be in service of Mistress Scarlet at Scarlet Devil Mansion.” the maid introduced herself with the usual restraint and politeness one would expect of a maid.

“NYEHEHE! GLAD TO MEET YOU, SAKUYA!!” Papyrus welcomed her with open arms.

“Now, pardon me for intruding, but may I ask what kind of species are you?” asked Sakuya.

“A SKELETON, OF COURSE!!!” Papyrus quickly answered. For a second, Sakuya remained dumbfounded as much as she tried to hide it.

“Right…” said Sakuya.

“I UNDERSTAND YOUR REACTION, BECAUSE YOU HAVE PROBABLY NEVER SEEN A SKELETON AS GREAT AS PAPYRUS!!” said Papyrus.

“...It feels like there are things more mysterious than this shrine itself.” thought Sakuya to herself, really trying her hard to keep composure before she had more questions to ask, preferably ones she could make sense of.

“Anyway, may I also ask what are you doing here?” asked Sakuya.

“AH, I CAN EXPLAIN! YOU SEE, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM ON A QUEST TO FIND FIVE FINGERS OF BABA YAGA IN ORDER TO GET MY HOME BACK FROM THAT RASCAL FREDERICK “FREDDY” FAZBEAR!!!” concisely explained Papyrus.

At that point, Sakuya couldn’t hide her bafflement anymore.

“...What.” sputtered out Sakuya, at that point even with all things happening in either Scarlet Devil Mansion or in Gensoyoko Shrine, that was something she had tough time comprehending.

“I AM AS CONFUSED AS YOU ARE, MRS. SAKUYA!! CAN SAY THAT A ROBOT BEAR TURNING MY HOUSE INTO A PIZZERIA AND SENDING ME ON A FINGER EATING QUEST IS ONE OF THE STRANGER THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE LIFE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS!” commented Papyrus, but Sakuya remained silent, still dumbfounded.

There was a period of awkward silence, which Papyrus decided to break it with a question of his own.

“NOW, SAKUYA! WHAT IS YOUR QUEST HERE?” asked Papyrus.

“Very well then, I shall explain: I was sent out by Mistress Scarlet in order to retrieve “a needed Kappa” in order to fix a machination at her residence. However, it seemed like the Kappa in question has gone….rogue. Thanks to intel, I was able to locate her at Tsumaranai Shrine, right here to be precise.” elaborated Sakuya. Unlike her, Papyrus had no issue comprehending her task.

“SO YOU’RE SAYING THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR YOUR FRIEND HERE?” asked Papyrus, just to be sure.

“One could see it like that.” answered Sakuya.

“IF THAT IS THE CASE, CAN I HELP YOU? I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, FEELS LIKE HE WILL MAKE MRS. SAKUYA’S JOB MUCH EASIER!” the skeleton man offered his help.

“...Are you certain you can help?” asked Sakuya, perhaps doubting his prowess of defense. After all, that was a man whose response was just scolding the attacker.

“OF COURSE!!! PAPYRUS CAN CARVE A PATH FOR YOU IN SUCH A WAY THAT YOU WON’T EVEN HAVE TO THINK TWICE!!!” Papyrus attempted to persuade here.

“If that is the case, may I ask for the demonstration of your power?” asked Sakuya, desiring to see what Papyrus actually had in store.

“VERY WELL THEN!! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SHOW YOU GLIMPSE OF MY POWER!” announced Papyrus before suddenly, he clapped with his hands, causing two bones to rise from the ground. Then he moved the bones, with them splitting the floor in two like icebreakers breaking through ice. Then, when he was done, he made the bones disappear. Sakuya remained cool faced as ever, but deep down, she did not expect him to have such power.

“You have demonstrated well, Papyrus. I believe you can be of help.” Sakuya approved his offer.

“YAY!!! LET US FIND YOUR FRIEND!” cheered Papyrus as he opened the door. Sakuya was the first to see what the room offered: a courtyard with just a few bushes. The sky seen through the roofless ceiling showed a dark cloudy kind of weather, yet not a drop fell from the sky. Papyrus was the one to march in the courtyard with his own sense of confidence, where as Sakuya carefully followed. For a moment, only the wind could be heard.

Suddenly, one of the planks ripped itself out of the wall and flew directly toward them through its own sheer force of well. Sakuya was the first to spot it. Papyrus wasn’t even aware that Sakuya managed to pierce a self propelled plank with a thrown knife or two, but unfortunately for him, the 2^nd plank that ripped out of its wall by itself came right at him. It smashed itself right into his head, although damage was next to none. Papyrus felt like a bee crashed into his skull.

“WHAT THE HECK?!! WHO THREW WOOD AT PAPYRUS?!” asked Papyrus, although third and fourth self propelled planks followed the suite. Sakuya saw those two forthcoming, so she repeated her attack. Both planks were successfully intercepted and that time, Papyrus managed to see it all.

“AHA!!! SO IT WAS GHOSTS ALL THIS TIME!” grinned Papyrus as he prepared his battle stance. “COME AT ME, YOU SPECTRAL HOOLIGANS!”.

In response to his taunt, ten planks flew right at his face. However, their impact was not his face, but the bone wall he has manifested from the ground. Just as quickly he pulled them out, he made the bone wall temporarily disappear.

Somehow realizing that the bone wall attack could potentially nullify their attacks, the planks decided to perform something else, something neither the maid not the skeleton saw coming. As many planks as they physically could ripped themselves out of the wall, without making the entire courtyard crumble. They all smacked into each other like asteroids forming greater celestial objects, manifesting into a physical form. Pieces of planks through mysterious power managed to materialize themselves into a humanoid-like form, resembling a golem, with a cartoony shark like face as his head.

It was, in fact, Purankugōremu (プランクゴーレム).

“Fufufu….you two are FOOLS for stepping inside this cursed shrine!” taunted Purankugoremu as he chuckled. Sakuya just glared at him as she prepared her knives.

“OH, WAS THIS YOUR PROPERTY? THEN WE ARE SO SORRY, WE SHOULD HAVE ANNOUNCED OUR VISIT!” apologized Papyrus with a smile on his face. However, Purankugoremu was not easy to convince.

“Too late for your sincere apologies! You must face your DOOM!” Purankugoremu raised his fist, prepared to smash them, but Papyrus juggled his finger.

It did not work that time.

Yet at the same time, the flow of time came to a stop. Just before Purankugoremu could turn Papyrus into dust, Sakuya managed to move away Papyrus just in time as she threw a volley of knives right at golem’s fist.

The flow of time continued as normally. Through the eyes of Papyrus, it seemed like he made a sidestep that he just conveniently forgot about. None than less, he understood what the golem meant.

“OH, I SEE HOW ARE WE PLAYING GAMES HERE! NOT NICE!!! NOT NICE AT ALL!!!” Papyrus scolded the golem, but he knew that it was no time for words. It was time for action.

Unlike before, Sakuya’s knives did not penetrate planks, they just remained stuck in them. Luckily, Purankugoremu’s fingers were fat, so not that he could make use out of it. However, he could use planks as scales as he scattered them around, throwing the planks-with-knife-with-them at two intruders. Projectiles were aimed right at Sakuya, but she managed to evade them just in time, with a slide on the ground. However, one miss wasn’t enough to make planks give up just yet. They flew back right at her, aiming to maim her with blades of her own knives.

Not breaking a sweat, Sakuya once again managed to stop time just few moments before knives could do some serious damage to her. With a casual sidestep, she once again managed to evade them.

But as once again, that was not enough to stop homing knife-impaled planks. They once again, came for her, surprising that not even stopped time was enough to deter them.

Although a bone from the ground managed to sweep them away. Sakuya noticed Papyrus’ effort and rewarded him with a small, confident smile. Papyrus gave her a thumbs up before he focused back on the Purankugoremu.

“LISTEN HERE, YOU MISCHIEF MAKER! BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN MISBEHAVING SO MUCH…” scolded Papyrus, although the golem did not listen to his words as he prepared his another attack: more homing planks.

However, Papyrus snapped with his fingers.

“YOU’RE BLUE NOW!”.

And Purankugoremu was, indeed, blue. Every single plank that he threw at them fell to the ground. No longer could they defy the rules of gravity.

“W-what?! M-my spectral powers!!” seethed Purankugoremu as he realized that not only were his projectiles now in vain, he could not use his entire body. A mighty plank golem became nothing more than a pile of planks. Just in case, Sakuya began stabbing planks to the ground, just in case he tried to use them as projectiles.

But it was useless. As useless as it could to defy gravity itself.

“THAT WILL TEACH YOU A LESSON!” Papyrus juggled his finger once again. Both Papyrus and Sakuya stepped forth towards the pile that was once a Purankugoremu.

“Argh! Impossible! My powers were supreme! I can’t be defeated by a mere human and a…skeleton?!” seethed the pile of planks.

“Yet you are here, nothing more than an empty shell of yourself.” commented Sakuya on the current state of their adversary.

“How DARE YOU?!!!” fumed the Purankugolemu.

“AHEM! FIRST OF ALL, YOU’VE BEEN REAL RUDE! WE SHOULD BE SAYING THAT!” seethed Papyrus at him.

“WHAT?!!” the pile was now confused, baffled at the audacity of the skeleton.

“YOU COULD HAVE JUST SAID THAT WE SHOULD LIVE YOUR HOUSE! WOULD HAVE MADE THIS MUCH EASIER!” Papyrus gave him advice.

“...Are you actually serious right now?” the pile dropped its charade and just began asking questions about existence now.

“DO I LOOK LIKE I’M JOKING?!! NO!!!! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM VERY SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!!!!” Papyrus stomped with his foot, surprising Sakuya in the process.

“I must admit that he does raise a good point. There was no need for you to attack us.” commented Sakuya. Purankugoremu remained silent about that fact.

“No...there has to be a reason! You want to get rid of all specters here, don’t you?!” Purankugoremu taunted them, hoping to have some moral superiority over them.

“WHAT??? NO?!!!! GHOSTS CAN LIVE HERE IN PEACE!” responded Papyrus.

“That is not the reason why I’m here. I’m looking for a lost Kappa.” elaborated Sakuya.

“...Damn…this didn’t work. Since the maiden here elaborated herself….Skeleton, what are you after?” asked Purankugoremu.

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM LOOKING FOR FINGER OF BABA YAGA HERE!” answered Papyrus.

Purankugoremu squinted with his eyes.

“...What?” blurted out the pile of wood.

“YES. I’M LOOKING FOR THAT!” said Papyrus.

“….Finger of Baba Yaga? What?” the pile of planks kept having its mind fried.

“YOU TELL ME! I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS EITHER!” said Papyrus as baffled as the pile of wood did. Purankugoremu kept thinking about it, still confused at sheer concept of “Finger of Baba Yaga”.

“...I….I don’t even know what to comment anymore. Farewell.” Purankugoremu just gave up and left this plane of existence. Still “alive”, just that didn’t bother to be on this mortal realm.

“DANG.” said Papyrus.

“Excuse me, Papyrus, but can I say my thoughts on something?” asked Sakuya with politeness expected of her.

“OF COURSE, SAKUYA! ASK AWAY!” Papyrus gave her allowance to speak.

“Your powers are deceptively...potent. One would never expect it. Yet…” Sakuya gave away her comment, hoping that she was sensitive enough for her friend to take it.

“AH, THIS IS JUST RESULTS FROM TRAINING WITH UNDYNE! PAPYRUS IS ONLY AS STRONG AS HIS FRIENDS ARE!!” Papyrus accepted her words with open arms, then he left a comment of his own too. “AND YOU ARE VERY STRONG TOO!!!”

“I was just fulfilling my duties.” Sakuya gave a little bow before they decided to exit the courtyard through the door that was right in front of them. “Shall we?”.

“YES!! WE MUST CONTINUE FORTH!” Papyrus raised his fist as they both stepped forth, opening the entrance as they saw more of what the shrine had to offer. But what did they find out?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON [JUJU KATZEN] !!!

But wait.

There’s one more thing.

Little did either of them knew they were watched by the hidden cameras in the remaining pillars of the courtyard. And what was recorded was playing right on the monitor of a location yet to be disclosed. Inside it, a Kappa girl was watching, with her fingers interlocked like a neglectful father of a 14 year old mecha pilot.

“Sasuga, you two. Just according to Keikkaku.” smirked the Kappa girl as she kept watching their moves. What did she have in store? What kind of challenges will Papyrus and Sakuya face? Only with uncovering the shrine, will they know.

Chapter Text

The door in the courtyard led them to a maze.

A big maze.

It was a big maze.

Once Papyrus and Sakuya entered the maze, the door behind them shut by itself.

“A MAZE? PHEW!! NICE TO HAVE A PUZZLE FOR THE CHANGE OF PACE! ALTHOUGH I DO HOPE THERE ARE NO BULLMEN HERE.” commented Papyrus.

“I doubt we would see them here.” assured Sakuya, with her usual stoic expression.

“WELL NOW!! THAT MAKES IT EASIER!! I HEARD THAT LAST GUY WHO FOUGHT A BULLMAN, HE NEEDED TO BRING IN TANKS!...AND I AM SURE WE DON’T HAVE CAVALRY RIGHT NOW.” Papyrus wiped off a tear of sweat (that he somehow managed to make despite having no flesh), reassured that the chance of encountering a mythical beast of Crete in a Far Eastern like shrine was low, but not zero. However, the details involving the supposed story involving minotaur and so called “tanks” (rumors have it that they were named after big cats of the jungle) started to puzzle the maid’s mind.

“May I ask from where did you hear such story?” asked Sakuya, glancing over her skeletal colleague.

“I HEARD IT FROM A GUY, WHO ALSO HEARD IT FROM A GUY, THAT ALSO HEARD IT FROM A GUY, WHICH HE GOT IT FROM A GUY...LONG STORY!” elaborated Papyrus, although the amount of what he said was, in fact, as much one would get from a 1 second video.

“I...I will ask later about it. Let us solve this mystery first.” suggested Sakuya.

“OF COURSE! PUZZLES MUST BE SOLVED AFTER ALL!” approved Papyrus as they ventured forth, taking their first turns in the shrine’s maze.

Yet all directions they took, they all led to dead ends.

So they tried other directions.

Same results.

Yet neither of them was ready to call it quits, so they kept exploring. All the dull brown walls were alike, so it wasn’t making it easier for them.

Suddenly, the corridors began to twist.

“This must be the work of spectral forces!” said Sakuya, gaining Papyrus’ attention.

“I SEE! THESE GHOSTS MUST BE PLAYING WITH US! HOWEVER, THE LABYRINTH IS NOTHING MORE THAN A PUZZLE! THOSE GHOSTS HAVE PICKED THE WRONG TARGET!” grinned Papyrus as he suddenly made a frame with his fingers, taking a good observation of the ever twisting labyrinth. Then he noticed something, something he has to say out loud.

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE FIGURED IT OUT! THE LABYRINTH IS PUZZLING OUR SENSES!” revealed Papyrus after his observation. Sakuya, noting his observation, took a note at her surroundings.

“If that’s so, then what shall we do?” asked Sakuya. Papyrus took another look and noticed something. It was the corridors that were shifting….but not the floor. Papyrus then gave his idea of a solution.

“WE MUST LOOK AT THE FLOOR!!!” suggested Papyrus. Sakuya then looked at the floor and came to a similar conclusion. Then, Papyrus suggested another idea, which he executed it in an instant. He started running through the maze and Sakuya followed soon after. Papyrus ran with his swagger gleaming through an entire maze, where as Sakuya ran as gracefully as he could. No one was there to witness their labyrinth jog.

Or so they thought.

Suddenly, after almost deliberately aimlessly running through the maze, they found a rather strange thing: there was no exit. Usually, that would make heroes go “Owari da” and they would start to revel in De-ahem, immense emotional distress with damaged faith. However, Sakuya has heeded Papyrus’ words: the answer was somewhere on the floor.

And once again after describing running one more bloody time, they finally found the very thing they sought: a closed hatch. And thus, they stopped running.

“Mr. Papyrus, take a look.” said Sakuya as she pointed at the closed hatch.

“AHA! YOURS EYES ARE VERY PERCEPTIVE, SAKUYA!” praised Papyrus before he stepped closer to the hatch, latching his skeletal arms on it. As he pulled up, he found out that it was kind of an easy task.

“WOWIE! THIS PUZZLE HAS BEEN SOLVED!” Papyrus stated the obvious before he thought about it, realizing that this puzzle was actually layered. Now the puzzle laid a question on them: where would the hatch lead them to?

However, the answer was pretty simple!

“SAKUYA, WE MUST GO INSIDE THIS HATCH!” suggested Papyrus.

“It will be done, Mr. Papyrus.” Sakuya said stoically as she suddenly grabbed the hatch, suggesting that Papyrus should go first.

“NAH, YOU CAN GO FIRST.” Papyrus allowed her to go.

“Are you sure?” asked Sakuya, a bit confused why would someone let her go first. Usually, she’s always second at most. Being a maid does that, after all.

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAS NEVER BEEN SO MORE SURE BEFORE!” assured Papyrus. Sakuya looked confused for a second, but just nodded and jumped in, falling into the descending tunnel that the hatch served as the entrance for. Papyrus, with a goofy ass grin, joined her as well.

And thus they fell into the tunnel, bumping into every turn it took. It was all rumbling in the vents, one could say bones were trousling. None than less, the fall was not eternal.

In fact, they landed in some...office? An office, with a giant monitor behind the chair, which also behind a table, which was in front of the entrance of the office. Once both Sakuya and Papyrus landed, neither of them on their feet. The rumbling caused by the impact made a can of cola fall on the ground.

“Shit, my cola…” lamented the man who was sitting on the chair. Then he turned around, and what he saw….was not a surprise to him. A maid and a skeleton guard, right in front of his face.

“Well now, look who we have here.” said the man, completely unphased that he is seeing an example of the undead...perhaps, different rules apply to Monsters of the Underground.

“OH HECK! ANOTHER HUMAN??!! TODAY MUST BE MY LUCKY DAY!” said Papyrus excitedly. Sakuya, on other hand, lacked such enthusiasm.

“Excuse me but….who are you?” Sakuya squinted her eyes, completely baffled at the presence of a short haired man in a flight suit.

“Name’s Lanza. In case it wasn’t obvious, I ain’t part of this ecosystem.” said Lanza as if it was a mild inconvenience for him.

“I...ACTUALLY DID NOT KNOW THAT. I AM A TEMPORARY VISITOR OF THIS SHRINE!” said Papyrus.

“I was about to ask that, but would it be alright to ask on how did you get up here?” asked Sakuya.

“Beats me.” simply stated Lanza.

“Huh….this is quite anomalous. I did not expect this shrine to be so full of uncertainties.” Sakuya’s mind was already starting to get puzzled once again.

“You tell me about that. Just few hours ago, I met this...uh, girl I think, that said that she’s gonna make me rich if I work for her.” Lanza told his situation. It immediately caught Sakuya’s attention.

“A girl? You mean...you have seen her?” asked Sakuya.

“Who’s her?” Lanza retaliated with a question.

“Ah, apologizes. What I meant to say is I’m looking for a friend, who is a girl. She had blue hair and a green hat. Would that help describing her?” elaborated Sakuya.

“Oh yeah, that is actually a girl I saw her. To be honest, I thought she was off the rocker, she was talking about this….[F I N G E R], how I must serve as some kind of guard and such.” also elaborated Lanza, which immediately caught Papyrus’ attention.

“FINGER, YOU SAY?!” Papyrus raised his eyebrow (or at least part resembling it).

“...Then we have to go. She is in danger!” suddenly, Sakuya’s voice became a lot more urgent.

Lanza did not seem to mind to offer his help. “Oh right, that should be easy. She’s right over there-”.

“I’M ALSO LOOKING FOR FINGER OF BABA YAGA!” suddenly revealed Papyrus.

Suddenly-

“DOMAIN EXPANSION.”

Suddenly, Papyrus has found himself in a place, where it was all in blue vector. Black backgrounds, navy blue gradient sky and light blue lines.

“WHAT?! ARE WE IN ANOTHER BATTLE?!!!!” Papyrus was not amused at that stunt.

However, it was not a battle.

It was a big maze. BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG MAAAAAAAAAZEEEEEEEEEEEE. Big Maze. Biiiiig maaaazzeeeeee.

“STOP IT!!!!! I GET IT!!!!!” suddenly seethed Papyrus. Yeah, he was in another maze.

“COME ON!!! I ALREADY SOLVED A MAZE!!!” Papyrus stomped at his foot. However, the whispers of the big maze have not ceased, even though Papyrus ordered otherwise.

Papyrus was feeling the same emotions when he gets hit by puns of his brother, except that he wasn’t smiling. It was just getting real silly.

“LANZA, EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!!!!” yelled Papyrus. Suddenly, a giant Lanza face appeared on the sky.

“Sorry, man. That was the job she gave it to me.” elaborated Lanza regretfully.

“YOUR JOB IS NOT NICE!!! ALSO, WHAT DID YOU EVEN DO?????” demanded Papyrus.

“Alright, suppose I can explain it to ya. Have you ever heard of….Domain Expansion?” began elaborating Lanza.

“YEAH, THOSE ACCURSED TWO WORDS TURNED MY HOUSE INTO A RESTAURANT. WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN???” asked Papyrus.

“….To tell you the truth, I have no idea, man.” admitted Lanza.

“GREAT! NOW THAT TRULY IS A PHRASE OF THE TIME! WHAT DOES IT EVEN DO??” seethed Papyrus even more.

“Well, that I can explain. You see, this, uh, Domain Expansion, basically traps you in your mind and your mind becomes a big maze.” elaborated Lanza.

“OKAY, AT LEAST THAT MAKES SENSE.” admitted Papyrus, before he really thought about it. “Your mind” was something that he, well, had on his mind.

“HANG ON, YOU SAID THIS IS ALL IN MY MIND, RIGHT?” asked Papyrus.

“That’s the gist of it, yup.” nodded Lanza.

“I SEE!” a lightbulb literally appeared above Papyrus’ head as he with his thought power made the entire maze disappear. Lanza was slightly surprised at how quickly he basically nullified his big maze.

“Yowza!” blurted out Lanza.

“I DEMAND FOR MY THOUGHTS TO GET ME BACK TO REALITY!” said Papyrus as he was, indeed, back to reality. So was Lanza. Sakuya wasn’t, she just stood like a statue, her irises all shrunk.

“Damn, you got rid of my power real quick.” Lanza himself was quite impressed by the feat.

“TO BE FAIR, IT WAS QUITE AN EASY PUZZLE TO SOLVE.” grinned Papyrus, but then he glanced over Sakuya, who seemed to be frozen in the mind maze.

“UM….SAKUYA??? YOU HERE??” Papyrus started to sweat as he gently knocked on her head, but no response. She was still stuck. “SAKUYA?”.

Meanwhile, in Sakuya’s mind, she was running all over the maze, still trying to keep her stoic composure, but it was starting to crack. All thanks to her shrunken irises.

“W-what is this? How did he just craft an entire world with two words?!” Sakuya’s mind was racing fast, it could not comprehend the power of an airman with a simple phrase. There were no enemies, only maze.

Big maze.

BIIIIIIG MAZEEEEEEEE.

And unlike before, there was no skeleton to stop the BIIIG MAZEEE. At least in her mind.

Back at the real world, Sakuya remained still. Papyrus was trying to figure out the solution to their current conundrum.

“HEY, UM….CAN YOU BRING HER BACK, PRETTY PLEASE??” asked Papyrus nicely.

“No can do, boss. This is something that’s up to you. Those are the rules.” said Lanza.

“FINE THEN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL RESCUE MY FRIEND SAKUYA!!” announced Papyrus before he did his first true move.

“SAAAAAAAAAAAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”.

No response for her. The yell did not help.

“Ouch!” flinched Lanza at the volume of Papyrus’ scream.

“DRAT! THAT USUALLY WAKES UP PEOPLE!” Papyrus shook his fist before he began scratching his skeletal chin. Each 60 seconds, a minute passes, and each minute, Sakuya is more and more stuck in maze. Inside her maze, Sakuya was barely keeping her composure. Her eye began to twitch, with her expression almost twisting into a smile. Not exactly a happy one, but one that says “I’m gonna freaking lose it!”.

But even as the time passed, Papyrus kept thinking.

But then he thought about thinking.

It was all in the head, right?

Thus, he came to a conclusion he did not say out loud.

“I MUST THINK!!!!!!!!!” Papyrus announced to himself as he began thinking.

Thinking about Sakuya and her own maze.

The big maze.

Just a second away before Sakuya was about to combust into a laughter of insanity, she heard a voice.

“SAKUYA!!!! HEED THE WORDS OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!!!”.

Then, Sakuya stopped herself in the maze. Her smile was no longer there, just a shocked expression.

“W-wh...w-what am I hearing? H-have I...finally lost it?” Sakuya became mumbling to herself.

“NO, YOU ARE JUST HEARING THE GREAT PAPYRUS, BECAUSE HE WILL GIVE YOU ADVICE! THIS IS YOUR MIND, YOU CAN MAKE THE MAZE GO AWAY!” advised Papyrus, who was now a giant head in the sky.

“Wait hang on...is...is it that simple?” asked Sakuya.

“WORKED ON ME!!!!” confirmed Papyrus.

Then, Sakuya stopped and took a deep breath. She crossed her arms and closed her eyes, imagining that the maze would disappear.

It, in fact, did.

The big maze was no longer the big maze.

It was just an empty space now.

“NOW SNAP BACK TO REALITY!” Papyrus pointed his finger at her.

And now, Sakuya was back to reality. She gasped upon “arriving” though.

“...W-what just happened?” Sakuya’s lip trembled for a moment.

“Congratulations, you solved a puzzle. Also, sorry about it, I was not aware the extend of my power.” apologized Lanza. Sakuya had to comprehend what just happened to her before she could decided if she can forgive it or not.

“EVEN THOUGHT THIS WAS NOT A BATTLE, THIS WAS STILL NOT A NICE THING TO DO! WHAT EVEN WAS YOUR JOB ANYWAY?!!!” Papyrus began to ask some real questions.

“I suppose I can explain it now: You see, that girl has told me to use this power on anyone who wants to get the Finger. I didn’t even bother to ask, there’s already all sorts of spooky shit there.” elaborated Lanza. Sakuya was still in the process of trying to comprehend what just happened, so Papyrus was in the lead to ask questions.

“HMMM….I SEE….I HAD A GUT FEELING THAT THE FINGER MUST BE SOMETHING TRULY WORTH IT, CONSIDERING THAT BEAR TOLD ME TO GET THOSE FINGERS!” commented Papyrus.

“That bear? There’s a lot of them lately, so, uh….narrow it down for me.” requested Lanza.

“FREDERICK “FREDBEAR” FAZBEAR.” revealed Papyrus.

“Hmmm….sorry to say, but I’ve got no clue.” shrugged Lanza.

“THAT’S OKAY, THIS IS A PUZZLE FOR ME! ALTHOUGH ANOTHER QUESTION: WHAT IS THE FINGER OF BABA YAGA?” asked Papyrus.

Then suddenly, the monitor turned on.

“Fufufu….wanna find out so bad?”.

A silhouette of a kappa girl was right in front of them. She was holding a certainly finger looking shadow, juggling it as she was taunting them.

That somehow brought Sakuya back to her senses.

“….Nitori?” she looked at the monitor, recognizing the silhouette.

“AHA! SO HERE YOU ARE! FRIEND OF SAKUYA!” said Papyrus.

“Naruhodo. So you are this Papyrus that has been following my target.” said the silhouette, even though it was blank, a grin could be felt.

“Target? What is the meaning of this, Nitori?” asked Sakuya, concerned about her friend’s behavior.

“I’ll tell you everything you want to know, that is if you find me.” advised the silhouette of a Kappa.

“SAY, WHERE ARE YOU EVEN?” suddenly asked Papyrus.

“Very. Close. By.” the person on the monitor made it very clear.

“Just uh, go through that door.” Lanza pointed at the door. “Good luck, both of you.”.

Thus, Papyrus and Sakuya nodded and went through that door.

What awaited them was….not something they expected.

Nitori Kawashiro, sitting in the cockpit of a surprisingly big (but still moderately average) green Kappa-head mecha. The office of Lanza was just a small part of the whole complex, which was dedicated for the machine.

“...Nitori?” to say Sakuya was surprised was quite an understatement.

“I’ve been waiting for you, Sakuya! Waiting for some time!” grinned Nitori, who had red eyes instead of her innocent blue ones.

Now what happens here? They have finally found her friend, but her friend is quite strange?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON JUJU KATZEN!!!!

Chapter Text

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” laughed Nitori not so benevolently.

“WHAT IS SO FUNNY? NO ONE HAS SAID A JOKE!” asked Papyrus.

“One mustn’t need to joke to laugh, you bonehead! I am laughing simply because I am having the GREATEST HIGH!” said Nitori.

“I STILL DON’T SEE ANYTHING FUNNY ABOUT THAT!” said Papyrus angrily.

“Snap out of it, Nitori!” said Sakuya more seriously.

“You are too late! With this power, I can rule the world!” boasted Nitori.

“YOU SAY THAT, BUT ONLY THING YOU’VE GOT IS THIS CASTLE?” asked Papyrus earnestly.

“SILENCE! This castle is just the beginning to my world domination! With the power of Finger of Baba Yaga, I shall transcend to greater levels! My power will be unmatched! Even gods will tremble upon ME, NITORI KAWASHIRO!!!!” boasted Nitori as she boasted and laughed.

But then Sakuya confused.

“Uh….Nitori?” Sakuya raised her eyebrow.

“What? Such pestilence, asking me banal questions while facing their DOOM?!” seethed Nitori. Sakuya just pointed at the back of her mecha.

Suddenly, Papyrus tore the metal plating with his bare skeletal hands, revealing that the Finger of Baba Yaga was the source of its power.

“NYEHE! IT IS TIME TO FINALLY EAT THAT FINGER” said Papyrus as he grabbed the finger, tearing it from the machinations of the machine.

And thus, he ate the finger.

“MONCH MONCH MONCH MONCH MONCH MONCH!”

And then….

Nothing.

“HUH, THAT’S FUNNY. I THOUGHT THAT FINGER WAS SUPPOSED TO-”.

Suddenly, Papyrus began to rattle his bones. He was shaking like he was suffering through an earthquake.

“N-N….NANI?!” screamed Nitori. Sakuya was just confused.

Suddenly…

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”.

Papyrus suddenly sounded like Grim Reaper from Billy and Mandy.

“Um….Papyrus?” asked Sakuya out of worry.

“I...AM NOT PAPYRUS!” said Papyrus, who claimed he was not Papyrus.

“H-huh?!” Sakuya was taken completely off guard. So was Nitori.

“What do you mean you’re not Papyrus?! You constantly say you’re the “great Papyrus” and shit!” said Nitori angrily.

“I SAID….I! AM! NOT! PAPYRUS!” Papyrus turned epicly towards them, revealing that his eye sockets were now glowing yellow as he has a black markings on his head, with “2COOL4SCHOOL” written on it.

“THROUGHOUT HEAVEN AND EARTH, I AM THE HONORED ONE!!!!!” screamed Papyrus who said that he was not Papyrus.

“W-who the fuck are you?!” Nitori began to seethe scaredly.

“THROUGH THE AGES, I HAVE SEEN MANY BATTLES. GLADIUS CLASHING AGAINST GLADIUS, SPEARS BEING LUNGED, ROCKS BEING THROWN…..IT IS ONLY NATURAL THAT WE MUST FIGHT!” said Papyrus.

“...P-Papyrus?” Sakuya was starting to get nervous.

“Again! You didn’t answer my bloody question! Who the fuck are you?!” screamed Nitori.

“I AM…...WHO I AM! IT IS I, WHO I AM! I AM…..” Papyrus began a speech, and then revealed his identity.

“SUGMA”!

Sugma – スグマ .

Back in the days of the Roman Empire, Sugma was a divine beast, made by the God of War Mars, to satiate the blood lust of at the time Roman Emperor, Biggus Dickus. No Gladiator managed to survive against Sugma. But one day, Jupiter saw Sugma as a threat, so he banished him to the shadow realm. However, a mysterious entity, who might be Baba Yaga, revived Sugma to satiate her own battle lust. Ever since that day, Sugma awaited to wake up.

Back to reality, Sugma pointed his finger at Nitori.

“YOU SHALL PROVIDE ME A BATTLE!” said Sugma epicly.

“All of that bullshit for this? Waste of time! Let us begin already!” grinned Nitori.

“NO, NOT YOU, WHO ARE POSSESSED!” suddenly revealed Sugma.

“W-WHAT?! I mean, I’m not possessed! I am Nitori and no one else!” denied Nitori. Sakuya was too confused and baffled to even say anything.

However…

“Domain Expansion”.

Sugma clapped with his hands, sending himself and Nitori into shadow realm. Nitori was just scared shitless.

“MWAHAHA! YOU SEE, THIS IS F I N G E R O B T A I N I S! WITH THIS, I CAN SENSE GHOSTS THAT I MUST FIGHT TO PROCEED!” said Sugma as he approached Nitori.

“N-NONSENSE! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!” Nitori was seething. But suddenly, Sugma grabbed her hair and pulled out a ghost! Nitori’s eyes turned from red to blue, as she was no longer possessed. The ghost he grabbed looked straight out of Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon. The horned one.

“Fuck you, you crazy boner!” the ghost flipped his finger at him.

“THE GHOST! I KNEW YOUR PRESENCE FROM THE START! NOW, YOU MUST PAY THE PRICE!” said Sugma.

“What price? I ain’t giving you SHIT!” said the ghost angrily.

“MWAHAHA! IT IS NOT THE MONEY THAT IS CURRENCY. WHAT I DEMAND….IS A BATTLE!” said Sugma epicly.

“Oh ok, fair enough.” said ghost as all three of them exited the shadow realm.

“Nitori!” Sakuya called for her friend and she picked her up. Nitori was unconscious for a bit.

“Wh….what happened?” said Nitori as she woke up from her ghost removal slumber.

Meanwhile, Sugma and the ghost were facing each other like cowboys. Both of them squinted their eyes at each other.

“Just that you know, I have a name.” said the ghost.

“REVEAL IT THEN, MY OPPONENT. IF YOU PUT UP A GOOD FIGHT, I SHALL REMEMBER IT.” allowed Sugma.

“I am…..one of the Five Horsemen of BADASS! I am called Horseman Delta!” revealed the ghost his name.

Five Horsemen of BADASS were ghosts sent by Baba Yaga to possess her fingers, just in case th ose not chosen would be deterred.

Because yes.

“VERY WELL THEN! LET US BATTLE!” said Sugma and both of them started running towards each other, delivering their first blows. Both fists clashed against their faces, knocking them back a bit. Sugma grinned, but so did Horseman Delta. Nitori just fully woke up, still being held in Sakuya’s arms, as she glanced over to a fistfight between a skeleton and a ghost.

“….What the?” Nitori was confused.

“It’s no use questioning this anymore. Just let it happen.” at that point, Sakuya just embraced it.

Then, another fisticuffs between a skeleton and ghost happened. Both of them were delivering true meteor punches at fast speeds, to which the naked eye could not recognize it anymore.

“Hahaha! You think that’s enough?!” taunted Horseman Delta, but he got a punch in his mouth. Sugma was basically telling him to shut up, which pissed him off.

“BRUH??!! That was DISRESPECTFUL!!!!!” seethed Horseman Delta but Sugma dashed towards him, with his wide shoulders swinging around like a rampaging rhino.

It was at that point when the ghost realized he needed to pull up some tricks.

“Domain Expansion.”.

Once again, they were in shadow realm.

However, a massive skeletal horse arrive, with the fury of thousands suns.

“NARUHODO…..SO THIS IS WHY YOU’RE CALLED A HORSEMAN.” Sugma stated the obvious.

“NEIGH!!!” responded the skeletal horse. Horseman Delta jumped on the horse and began riding it, trying to stomp Sugma. However, Sugma kept dodging like he was in the matrix. Horseman Delta and the horse seethed as they tried to be as fast as possible, trying to stomp him into oblivion.

However, Sugma juggled his finger.

“NEIEIEIEIEIGH!!” the horse got spooked as Horseman Delta fell on his back. Thus, he realized he was no match for Sugma.

“KONO POWA DA…….You truly are remarkable!” said Horseman Delta.

“I’M GONNA BE HONEST…..THIS FIGHT WAS MID.” said Sugma honestly.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” screamed Horseman Delta as he disappeared into the shadow realm.

The finger was obtained as Sugma returned to reality.

Or rather, he was back to being Papyrus.

“NYEHEHE! I HAVE FINALLY GOT THAT FINGER! NOW, I JUST NEED TO FIND FOUR MORE!” said Papyrus. Then he turned towards Sakuya and Nitori, the latter being at the loss of words.

“Um….welcome back Papyrus?” said Sakuya.

“THANK YOU, SAKUYA! BUT I NEVER REALLY WENT ANYWHERE!” said Papyrus.

“Um, you said that you were uh….not Papyrus before.” said Sakuya.

“REALLY? WELL….” Papyrus then realized what he has gotten into and began stomping with his foot. “DANG NABBIT, NOT AGAIN!!!”.

“Not...again?” wondered Sakuya.

“YOU SEE, IT’S A LONG STORY…..BUT TO MAKE IT SHORT, I WAS ONCE POSSESSED BY A GHOST! HE WAS RATHER MEAN! IT SEEMS LIKE THAT HAPPENED AGAIN!” elaborated Papyrus.

“Uh, yeah. That happened.” said Sakuya. Nitori was still confused.

Then suddenly, Lanza,

“Just letting ya know, all the spooky shit in this shrine is gone!” said Lanza.

“I’m going back to being unconscious.” said Nitori as she pretended to be unconscious.

“Shall we go now?” asked Sakuya.

“SINCE I’VE GOT THAT FINGER, LETS GO!” said Papyrus.

Thus Papyrus, Sakuya, Lanza and Nitori left the shrine. It was over.

They all gathered around the entrance, discussing some stuff.

“Well, I gotta take a hike. My colleagues will pick me up. See ya!” Lanza left, drinking a cola. Only Papyrus, Sakuya and Nitori remained.

“Thank you for rescuing me, you two. Sakuya and….whats your name again?” said Nitori.

“I AM PAPYRUS! NICE TO MEET YOU, ALTHOUGH I ASSUME YOU SAW THE POSSESSED ME FIRST.” said Papyrus.

“….Yeah, lets just go with that.” said Nitori.

“I assume this is where we depart, don’t we?” said Sakuya with a stoic face.

“WELL….I MEAN YES, BUT…..YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND, YOU KNOW.” said Papyrus, suddenly sounding rather unusually somber.

“Hm?” Sakuya was starting to get confused a bit.

“EVEN THOUGH I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SET OUT ON THIS JOURNEY, I DON’T THINK I COULD HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT YOU. IT’D BE NICE IF YOU….YOU KNOW...JOINED ME! JUST TO GET ALONG ON A RIDE! BUT IF YOU SAY NO, THAT’S OKAY. YOU PROBABLY HAVE A LOT OF BUSY THINGS TO DO….” explained Papyrus, still keeping a smile on his face. Sakuya was starting to seriously reconsider some things.

“Well, I can go home by myself. No need to escort, I’ll make some anti ghost inventions on the way!” reassured Nitori, letting her know she was good by herself. Sakuya was thinking about it.

“….I think….supporting you wouldn’t hurt at all. I’ll be by your side.” nodded Sakuya, doing a little bow.

“WOWIE! THANK YOU!!!! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL MAKE SURE THAT THIS JOURNEY WILL BE WORTH IT!” said Papyrus.

Suddenly, sans.

“hey.” he said.

“SANS! HOW ARE YOU?” greeted Papyrus.

“Um...excuse me, but do you know him?” asked Sakuya as she pointed at him.

“OF COURSE I DO! HE IS MY NOT-QUITE-LAZY-ANYMORE BROTHER!” Papyrus introduced her to sans.

“i’m sans.” said sans.

“Nice to meet you, sans.” Sakuya made a little bow.

“uh, i take it you have found the finger?” asked sans.

“YES INEEED! THE FINGER WAS FOUND AND EATEN!” said Papyrus happily.

“great. i’ve got something good for you two. i know where the next finger is.” said sans.

“SANS, YOU REALLY WORK HARD LATELY! THAT IS...MAKING ME WEIRDLY PROUD??!!” said Papyrus.

“Wait, how did you know?” asked Sakuya.

“follow me.” said sans as he began walking. Papyrus and Sakuya followed.

He led them to that teleporter. Papyrus and Sakuya stepped on it and then sans threw them both two papers. A secret code was written on it. Both of them read it out loud.

“THIS FINGER BE RIZZ SKRA SKRIM ROMPOMPOM!”.

Once again, their visions began to wobble before they were transported to another world. Sakuya was just about to question the secret code, but her mind was being completely baffled by effects.

None than less, they were in another world. The skeleton man of puns followed them as well, reading the secret code out loud as well.

But where were they?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON JUJU KATZEN!

Chapter Text

“Yea.”

“YE-YE-YEA!”.

Evil laughter was heard all over the eternally nocturnal city, but citizens did not care, for they were jamming at good music. Even salary men and janitors were busting their moves at the sound of music. The drivers of futuristic looking cars were bopping their heads.

Papyrus and Sakuya teleported in the city. They were somewhere near it, just when you would see those road signs that say the name.

“Papyrus, where are we?” asked Sakuya.

“HMMMMMMMMMM” Papyrus let out his thoughts before his eye sockets were laid upon the road sign. It said “Stereopunk Metro.”.

“I BELIEVE WE ARE IN A PLACE CALLED STEREOPUNK METRO!” Papyrus figured out the name of the city as both of them got a good look at it. Even though it was a night, lights were blasting all over the place. It seemed like the whole city was a giant rave party.

“Shall we go there?” asked Sakuya for permission.

“SANS HAS SENT US HERE, SO THERE MUST BE THAT FINGER! WE MUST GO!” Papyrus began strutting while Sakuya gracefully followed him

As they went into the city, they saw that everyone was dancing. The music was just blasting through out the level.

“Say, what is happening to the citizens?” Sakuya raised her eyebrow as she kept observing the citizens.

“THEY SEEM TO BE EITHER ENCHANTED BY A CURSED SPELL, OR VIBING TO THE MUSIC!” answered Papyrus. However, Sakuya still suspected.

Suddenly, when they were some random alleyway, a hooded person appeared. The hooded figure waved at them, gaining their attention.

“Hello!” said the hooded figure.

“Um….good evening.” Sakuya did her little bow as a greeting.

“OH? I SEE YOU ARE A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE! GREETINGS, MYSTERIOUS FIGURE!” greeted Papyrus.

“Come with me!” said the mysterious figure. They went with them, which meant just a bit deeper into the alleyway. The hooded figure was no more hooded, because they were actually Kurumi Wendy.

“Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Kurumi Wendy and I’m informant of this town. Nice to meet you.” said Kurumi.

“NICE TO MEET YOU, KURUMI WENDY! ALTHOUGH WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND SURNAME?” asked Papyrus.

“Ah, Kurumi is the name and Wendy is my surname.” elaborated Kurumi.

“AH, GOT IT! I WILL REMEMBER THAT!” said Papyrus.

“I’m Sakuya Izayoi and this is Papyrus. Nice to meet you too.” greeted Sakuya.

“So you two are new to this town?” asked Kurumi.

“I believe so, yes.” confirmed Sakuya.

“WE ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING HERE!” said Papyrus.

“Oh? What could that be? I was about to ask you for a favor, but I don’t wanna interrupt your quest very much.” said Kurumi.

“On the contrary. It would be no issue to take your request.” Sakuya allowed her to make a request.

“Thank you very much! I really appreciate that! Now, what is it that you are looking for?” asked Kurumi.

“FINGER!” said Papyrus.

“…..Um….ummm….finger?” Kurumi was starting to regret her life choices.

“THAT’S RIGHT! WE ARE LOOKING FOR THE FINGER OF BABA YAGA!” elaborated Papyrus. Not that it helped that much.

“Finger of….what?...What is...Baba Yaga?” questioned Kurumi as her mind was starting to melt.

“Best not to worry about it. It’s something he must do.” reassured Sakuya that it would be better if she didn’t think about it.

“….Right. I’ll uh….help you find that….finger, right?” Kurumi was seriously not sure how to approach it.

“So, about your request?” Sakuya gave her a chance to speak.

“About that…” Kurumi suddenly stepped closer and began whispering. “You see, this city is a prison and most of the people here aren’t even aware of it.”.

“Oh? What do you mean, Kurumi?” Sakuya whispered back.

“Erm, this city is being ruled by one man only. He rules it with an iron grip and attempts to crush anyone who defies him.” further elaborated Kurumi.

“Who is that man?” further asked Sakuya.

Suddenly, loud ass rock music began blasting all over the city. Kurumi covered her ears, meanwhile Papyrus and Sakuya were just confused. The citizens began aggressively bopping their heads to the music, since they thought it was quite a jam.

Meanwhile, in a big tower, the ruler of the city awoke from his nap. As he went to the bathroom, he treated his mighty walrus mustache with two swipes, as he prepared himself for an announcement.

Once he was ready, he walked to the balcony, showing himself above his ruling domain.

Then the music announced his name.

“I AM THE EGGMAN!”.

People began cheering his name.

“Thank you! Thank you, citizens of Sterrrrrrreopunk Metro! Today is a good morning and since I am feeling quite generous, I will provide you with good morning tunes!”.

The cheering became louder.

“PEAK! PEAK! PEAK!!!!!!!” literal baboons in the crowd began to jump all over the place, smashing cars in the process. Not that anyone cared, they got music.

The music still continued. However, Papyrus and Sakuya were slightly confused.

“THIS IS THE RULING MAN? HE HAS QUITE THE STACHE RIGHT THERE!” commented Papyrus.

“Even from a far, he doesn’t look quite trustworthy.” said Sakuya.

“The sad thing is no one really cares because he constantly provides them with music. How could a villain like him completely sway the entire city?” lamented Kurumi.

“IT MUST BE BECAUSE OF MUSIC!” said Papyrus.

“I mean….that was more of a rhetorical question, but it’s that, yes.” said Kurumi.

Suddenly, a metal box on a wheel fell in the alleyway. Kurumi got startled, where as Papyrus and Sakuya just looked at it.

“OOOOOOOOH YESSSSSS~” the metal box made its grand entrance.

“WAIT A SEC….I KNOW YOU! METTATON??!!!!!!!” Papyrus was shocked this time. And so were Sakuya and Kurumi.

“Ummm…..you know this guy?” Kurumi pointed at the robot.

“YES, HE IS QUITE FAMOUS AROUND MY PLACE!” answered Papyrus.

“THAT’S RIGHT! IF IT ISN’T GOOD OLD PAPYRUS! HOW ARE YOU, DARLING?” said Mettaton.

“FIRST I WANNA ASK YOU, METTATON.” said Papyrus.

“YES?” asked Mettaton.

“WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” asked Papyrus politely.

“AH, THAT’S EASY TO ANSWER. YOU SEE, YOUR BROTHER IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS DISCOVERED TELEPORTATION!” elaborated Mettaton.

“WAIT, REALLY?” asked Papyrus.

“YES! ALPHYS DID IT AS WELL. I USED TELEPORTATION TO LOOK FOR BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES AND FOUND MYSELF HERE! HERE, I AM THE OPPOSITION PARTY OF DOCTOR IVO “EGGMAN” ROBOTNIK!” said Mettaton.

“Opposition party? That has to be a bogus….” pouted Kurumi.

“WELL, HE PAYS ME A LOT TO ACT LIKE OPPOSITION! LOADS OF MONEY, I TELL YOU THAT!” revealed Mettaton.

“Of course he does….” Kurumi crossed her arms.

“Actually, why do you play as opposition? Do you work for him or…” further asked Sakuya.

“DARLING, I CAN’T SPOIL THE SURPRISE, CAN I?” Mettaton hushed her.

“HMMMM, HE IS PLOTTING SOMETHING. BEST TO PLAY ALONG.” thought Papyrus to himself.

“SAY, METTATON. CAN YOU HELP ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WITH SOMETHING?” asked Papyrus.

“YES???” asked Mettaton.

“CAN YOU HELP US FIND THE FINGER OF BABA YAGA? IF YOU DO, WE WILL HELP YOU!” offered Papyrus.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea there, Papyrus….” pouted Kurumi again.

“HMMMM…..WHICH FINGER, TO BE EXACT?” asked Mettaton.

“THE FINGER OF BABA YAGA!” added Papyrus.

Surprisingly, Mettaton’s mind was not melting.

“HMM...I DO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT. AND I ALSO DO KNOW WHO HAS IT!” said Mettaton.

“WAIT, REALLY??? CAN YOU TELL, PRETTY PLEASE??” asked Papyrus.

Suddenly, he got closer.

Whisper whisper.

“AHA! OF COURSE, IT WAS OBVIOUS. NOW, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS DEVISED A CUNNING PLAN!” said Papyrus.

“OH, ALREADY? YOU TRULY ARE A SHARP THINKER, PAPYRUS!” complimented Mettaton.

“FIRST, WE MUST GET THE MERCHANDISE!” said Papyrus as he was prepared to go off.

“Merchandise? But…” Kurumi was about to ask some serious question.

“DO NOT WORRY, FRIEND! IT’S ALL PART OF THE CUNNING PLAN!” said Papyrus as he began strutting towards the city. Before anyone could ask, they all followed him.

Papyrus was strutting like a certain doctor form an eastern animated movie, where as Sakuya had a more graceful walk. Kirumi just walked with uncertainty. Meanwhile, Mettaton was rolling on his wheel.

But little did they knew…

They were watched…

“Did you see that, Grounder? These nicompoops are planning something!” said Scratch, a robotic chicken.

“Yeah! It was Mettaton again! He’s trying to cause some ruckus!” said Grounder, a weird mole-gnome-drill-tank robot.

“Get your priorities straight, Grounder! We pay Mettaton!” said Scratch.

“Oh right. I forgot.” said Grouder.

“Quick! We must beat them up before they do anything against Eggman!” said Scratch as both of them jumped down the building. Scratch landed on his feet, Grounder landed on his head.

Papyrus, Sakuya, Kurumi and Mettaton went to the store. There were a lot of Eggman themed articles there, such as fake mustaches, bald caps and eggs.

“IT’S TIME TO DO SOME SHOPPING!” said Papyrus quietly.

“But does anyone of you have money?” asked Sakuya.

“Just a few pennies, that’s all” Kurumi pulled out a few coins. Soon enough, Mettaton pulled out full stashes of Robotnik Dollars.

“I’M RICH, BABY! OH YEAH!” boasted Mettaton.

“GREAT! NOW, LET’S GET THIS SHOPPING BUSINESS DONE!” Papyrus strutted inside the shop as others followed. They bought fake Robotnik mustaches, one bald cap (only for Papyrus) and some Robotnik T-shirts. Then he went to the cashier, who was busy breakdancing.

“I’D LIKE TO BUY THESE!” said Papyrus as he put these items on.

“That’d be 4500 Robotnik dollars.” said the cashier. Mettaton threw 4500 Robotnik dollars at cashier.

“Thank you!” said the cashier.

Then they all put on their fake Robotnik staches and T-shirts, where as Papyrus put on his Robotnik bald cap. T-shirts also said “EGGMAN GANG RISE UP!”.

“PHASE ONE OF OUR CUNNING PLAN HAS BEEN COMPLETE! NOW IT’S FOR THE SECOND PHASE!” said Papyrus as he began strutting, only to be stopped by Scratch and Grounder, who fell from the air.

“Oh no, siree! The only phase you’re gonna go through is the phase of PAIN!” taunted Scratch.

“Yeah! Get ready on this pain train!” said Grounder.

“Oh boy, it’s those two again…” pouted Kurumi.

“HELLO, CHICKEN ROBOT AND TANK ROBOT! I HAVE TO SAY, IT’S NOT VERY NICE TO THREATEN US ON FIRST GLANCE!” said Papyrus.

“And what are you gonna do about it, huh???” boasted Scratch.

“AT LEAST BE NICE ENOUGH TO INTRODUCE YOURSELVES!” demanded Papyrus.

“Oh, I’m Grounder.” the gnome-mole-tank-drill guy introduced himself. Scratch nearly slapped him but then he decided to play along.

“Fine! The name is Scratch and you’ll remember it after we beat you up!” said Scratch.

“OKAY, WE GOT THIS SORTED! NOW, YOU CAN GO BACK TO INEXPLICABLY THREATENING US!” said Papyrus. Kurumi was at loss of words, she just stared at the whole scene with wide eyes. Somehow, Sakuya was generally not baffled by it.

“OFF THE CHARTS DIPLOMACY THERE, PAPYRUS!” said Mettaton.

“AHA! Of course you are involved here!” Scratch angrily pointed at Mettaton.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE JUST INTENDED TO BUY EGGMAN SPONSORED GOODS HERE LIKE THE MODEL CITIZEN WE ARE!” said Mettaton.

“Oh no no no! YOU are plotting something, like you always do!” seethed Scratch.

“IF YOU CONSIDER SHOPPING AS A PART OF THE NEFARIOUS PLOT, THEN SO BE IT!” protested Mettaton.

“ACTUALLY, WE DO HAVE A PLAN!” suddenly Papyrus spoke.

“Uh, Papyrus what are you doing?!” Kurumi tapped his shoulder. But Papyrus knew what he was doing.

“AHA! Of course you do! Now, face the beatings, punks!” Scratch shook up his fists.

“WAIT! I DIDN’T EVEN SAY MY PLAN! YOU TWO MUST LEARN SOME PATIENCE!” seethed Papyrus.

“Umm, was it not to overthrow Eggman?” asked Grounder.

“Of course it is! Wait, is it?” Scratch began questioning himself.

“MY PLAN IS VERY SIMPLE ACTUALLY! I MUST FIND THAT FINGER!” Papyrus revealed his plan. And that was when Scratch and Grounder became confused.

“What do you mean find that finger?! It’s on your hand!” grumbled Grounder.

“NO! IT IS NOT MY FINGER I MUST FIND! IT IS THE FINGER OF BABA YAGA THAT I MUST FIND!” said Papyrus. Suddenly, circuits in Scratch and Grounder’s heads began to steam.

“Uh, nope! Not dealing with this! Buh-bye and smell ya later!” Scratch just sodded off.

So did Grounder.

“I hope you find that finger in the dump!”.

And thus, the group lead by Papyrus was no longer disturbed. Kurumi just stared at everyone, completely baffled.

“What.” she just uttered.

“Don’t worry. You get used to this.” Sakuya just gave her a pat on her back, knowing from her experience.

“EXCELLENT! NOW LETS GET TO PHASE TWO OF OUR PLAN!” said Mettaton as all began walking towards somewhere. Where? Find out next time on JuJu Katzen!

But first, cliffhanger.

Meanwhile in a far away land, specifically Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, Freddy was sitting on his throne in darkness. He has sensed that one finger has been obtained.

“Naruhodo. It appears that he is making actual progress.” Freddy mused himself, not expecting that Papyrus would actually get that finger.

Suddenly, the door of the dark room opened, with Bonnie and Chica entering it. Bonnie just walked where as Chica was on a levitating chair, patting her monster cupcake like a cat.

“Master, we have heeded your call.” knelt Bonnie.

“Indeed, indeed. This shall be fun.” grinned Chica.

“For now, I will only need Bonnie.” said Freddy Fazbear as he looked towards the kneeling purple call. “Bonnie, you must go to the Stereopunk Metro and disrupt his progress.”.

“It will be done, my lord.” said Bonnie before he dashed out of the room with lightning speed, determined to take down the skeletal threat.

“I take it that I shall have to wait.” said Chica.

“Indeed. If he somehow defeated Bonnie, then you shall be deployed. You know how to make a dangerous situation turn into a beneficial one.” said Freddy.

“I must ask on why not send us both? This could be fun!” further asked Chica.

“Because it is the bigger risk. Stereopunk Metro is not somewhere your [CURSED ENERGY] could be at its peak.” said Freddy Fazbear.

“Ah yes….you might have a point in that. After all, the mayor of Stereopunk Metro could have disagreements with my means.” said Chica.

“It’s not about him. He’s irrelevant. However, about the Horseman Gamma….” said Freddy as he turned towards Horseman Gamma, a ghost dressed like Big Shaq, who was actually behind him all the time. Both Freddy and Chica knelt at their superior.

However, Horseman Gamma had only thing to say.

“YO!”.

The beat began to play.

But what happened next?

Find out next time on JUJU KATZEN!

Chapter Text

Sakuya, Mettaton and Kurumi were walking in the city, now wearing Robotnik merchandise. Meawhile, Papyrus was strutting like Doctor Livesey. He was leading the way. Their goal was to go up to Robotnik’s headquarters and get that finger.

On the way, they happened to come across destroyed cars. The baboons were still smashing them.

“PEAK! PEAK! SO PEAAAAAAAAAK!” they yelled as they kept smashing cars.

“PEAK? WHAT PEAK? THERE’S NO MOUNTAINS HERE!” asked Papyrus, which already alerted Kurumi. She knew what was coming when they became the center of attention of the baboons.

“Oh gosh darn it to crap…” Kurumi grumbled.

Immediately, baboons went onto offensive.

“YOUR ANIME IS MID! MID!” yelled baboons.

“Pardon me, but what?” asked Sakuya.

“Just...ignore them.” advised Kurumi.

“THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T TRUST BLUE BIRDS, DARLINGS!” said Mettaton.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY ANIME? I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE YET TO MAKE AN ANIME!” argued Papyrus.

“Papyrus, no.” said Kurumi.

“Everybody knows that Demon Slayer is PEAK!” yelled one of the baboons. Suddenly, some baboons around him took offense.

“WHAT IS DEMON SLAYER AND WHY IS IT THE HIGHEST POINT OF A MOUNTAIN?!” asked Papyrus angrily.

“Papyrus, NO!” said Kurumi poutily.

“DARLING, LET HIM HAVE SOME FUN!” advised Mettaton.

“What did you say? WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” seethed one of baboons.

“I said Demon Slayer is PEAK, what’s the problem?” asked the baboon.

“Demon Slayer???? For real???? You must be capping, because Demon Slayer is MID!” said the Demon Slayer hating baboon.

“Say WHAT?!!! You dare not DISRESPECT DEMON SLAYER!” seethed the baboon.

“What.” Sakuya was utterly confused. Mettaton was eating Robotnik sponsored popcorn. Kurumi was facepalming hard. It was the one hand one.

“Everyone in the town knows Naruto is THE SHIT!” said the Demon Slayer hating baboon. Suddenly, more baboons took offense.

“Naruto?! You kidding me, man??? That’s shit, not the shit!” argued other baboons.

“At least it’s not MID like Demon Slayer! It’s PEAK!” yelled the Demon Slayer hating baboon.

“Demon Slayer is mid, yes, but at least you don’t need a fucking guide to watch it!” argued another baboon.

“IF ONLY ALPHYS WAS HERE, HAHAHA!” mused Mettaton.

“Fuck you, you IMBECILE!!!! Naruto was PEAK, it was THE anime! And when I do RETROSPECTIVE, I truly do be bussing!” argued the Naruto fan baboon.

At that point, Sakuya’s head started to hurt.

“….What are they even talking about?” she asked.

“It’s about…” Kurumi almost finished her sentence, but Papyrus’ head started to hurt.

“WHY ARE YOU GUYS ARGUING ABOUT MOUNTAINS SO MUCH???!!!!!” now Papyrus was angry. Now baboons were confused.

“What mountains?” asked baboons, shockingly calmly.

“IT’S ALWAYS PEAK THIS AND PEAK THAT AND PEAK THERE AND PEAK THAT! WILL YOU GUYS COOL THE CHILL OUT????????????” ordered Papyrus.

“What mountains are you talking about?! We ain’t talking about no mountains!” asked baboons.

“THEN WHY DO YOU GUYS SAY PEAK SO MUCH??!!!!” asked Papyrus. Now baboons started thinking.

Then they came up with the answer.

“BECAUSE IT’S PEAK!!!! PEAK IS PEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” they all started yelling in union, with one even crying like Chopper from One Piece.

At that point, even Papyrus had it enough.

“THAT’S IT! ARGUE ABOUT MOUNTAINS ALL YOU WANT, I LEAVE!” Papyrus said angrily as he stomped away.

“….I told you you should have done that.” said Kurumi. Sakuya’s head hurt too much over them.

“IT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED. CIAO~.” said Mettaton as they all left.

But suddenly….

“Kochi wo miro!”.

Suddenly, they all turned around, feeling menaced.

It was…..

…..

THE ELDER BABOON (エルダーバブーン).

Unlike other baboons, this one had a cane, a robe and a beard. He looked menacingly, with a grin on his face. Sakuya already pulled out her knives in advance. Mettaton was a bit confused.

“W-wait, who are you?” asked Kurumi, feeling intimidated from the menacing.

“Kehehehe….You do not know? I am the ELDER BABOON, leader of all baboons here!” said Elder Baboon. Baboons heard him and bowed down.

“CAN YOU TELL YOUR GUYS TO STOP ARGUING SO MUCH? IT’S REALLY ANNOYING!” grumbled Papyrus.

“….hahaHAHAHA! YOU FOOL! Do you not know that their seething and coping gives all of us power?!” said Elder Baboon.

“WAIT, REALLY? IF THAT’S THE CASE, THEN THAT’S STUPID!” said Papyrus.

But he made a mistake.

“If it’s so stupid, then try THIS!” chuckled Elder Baboon as he made gestures with his hands.

“DOMAIN EXPANSION!”.

“WHAT??? NOT THIS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” seethed Papyrus.

But suddenly, the whole world became a manga. Like, the floor was manga.

“SHOUNEN JUMP!”.

“W-what is THIS?! I’ve never seen such power before!” crumbled Kurumi.

“HM, INTERESTING! I TAKE IT THIS IS A NEW TREND!” noted Mettaton calmly.

However, Sakuya and Papyrus were already used to it.

“Papyrus, is this all in our heads?” asked Sakuya.

“NO, I THINK OUR FRIENDS SEE IT TOO, RIGHT?” asked Papyrus.

“I see! So you have already fought other SORCERERS, isn’t that so?” grinned Elder Baboon.

“S-SORCERERS?! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?” Papyrus was taken off guard, but Elder Baboon was also caught off guard due to Papyrus’ lack of knowledge.

“Fufufufu, you truly are amusing, Papyrus! You do not even know the true power of the CURSED ENERGY!” boasted Elder Baboon.

“NOW YOU’RE JUST MAKING STUFF UP! ALSO, HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME?!” asked Papyrus angrily.

“YOU TRULY ARE THE MOST FOOLISH OF FOOLS! YOU ALWAYS ANNOUNCE NOT JUST YOUR NAME, BUT YOUR GOAL AS WELL! YOU WANT TO EAT THE FINGERS OF BABA YAGA, DO YOU NOT?” Elder Baboon pointed badassely at him.

“You should take note of that.” Sakuya alerted the skeleton.

“….OH HECK!” Papyrus realized his mistakes.

“NOW, AS THE EMISSARY OF BABA YAGA HERSELF, I MUST STOP YOU! BEGINNING PHASE ONE…” but just as he was about to unleash his attack, suddenly a barrage of knives appeared right in front of his face.

“N-nani?!” said Elder Baboon before he barely dodged it with a Dragonball style teleport. At that point, Sakuya already had a bunch of knives in her hand, ready to throw at them.

“OH, IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’VE HAD A BATTLE!~” said Mettaton as he cracked his knuckles.

“I think I’m just gonna...um….sit this one out. I don’t have special powers, sorry…” Kurumi just walked a bit further, to not get in the battle.

Then suddenly, he pulled out “fan letters” in shape of Mettaton and threw them right at Elder Baboon.

“Hah! You have thrown nothing more than pieces of paper!” taunted Elder Baboon.

Suddenly, Mettaton pulled out a red button and smashed it. It turned out that those “fan letters” were, in fact, grenades.

“M-MASAKA?!” Elder Baboon failed to evade them as they all exploded in his face, knocking him out in the process. However, he was yet to be out of the fight. “...I didn’t not expect you to go so seriously! Now….BEGINNING PHASE ONE!”.

The Elder Baboon started to levitate as the floor was beginning to draw up pages.

But suddenly, Papyrus snapped with his fingers. Elder Baboon was blue now.

“NO FLOATING!” said Papyrus.

“TSAMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! It seems like I will take risks!” said Elder Baboon. He could no longer levitate, but his power was merely forming. The drawing finished, revealing Demon Slayer.

“PHASE ONE: DEMON SLAYER!”.

Suddenly, Elder Baboon took a deep breath as it created cursed energy around him. The cursed energy, his fighting spirit, became of the IMAGINATION BREATHING. He could spawn anything that came up with his mind.

With a breath, he conjured up a katana. An unbreakable katana that could cut through “anything”.

“SHINE! (It means “die” in Japanese) PAPYRUS!!!!!!” Elder Baboon yelled on top of his lungs as he lunged himself at Papyrus. But Papyrus not only sidestepped, but he also created a wall of bones, which Elder Baboon crashed right into it. His face felt the might of calcium. Not only that, the time was stopped once again, allowing Sakuya to create another barrage of thrown knives. Once the time resumed, those knives pierced straight through Elder Baboon’s robe, pinning him on the bone wall.

Then from a bit of distance, Mettaton threw miniature copies of himself that were floating by umbrella right over Elder Baboon. Those copies threw Mettaton sponsored hearts at him, which were hard as stone.

Elder Baboon felt a bit of an ouch once those hearts landed.

But his resolve was not done yet. With his IMAGINATION BREATHING, he conjured up a beast, a demon that looked like a giant gorilla. The giant imagination gorilla smashed the bone wall, freeing the Elder Baboon in the process. The imagination gorilla slammed its chest as it let out a roar.

In the mean time, Kurumi’s mind was not comprehending what she was seeing.

Papyrus, Sakuya and Mettaton all posed epicly as they were prepared to strike down the imagination gorilla. Papyrus threw his bones at it right at its face, to which it did little damage, but it was enough of a distraction to let Sakuya freeze time again and unleash a flurry of thousand knives that went straight into gorilla’s torso.

However, once thrown, they just bounced off. It seemed like our heroes were cooked.

“MWAHAHA! You can do NOTHING against the mighty ILLUSORY KONG! FOR HE IS INVINCIBLE!” said Elder Baboon.

“THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK.” said Mettaton. Instead of attacking him, he decided to troll Elder Baboon.

“What are you BUSSING around? He is invincible!” said Elder Baboon angrily.

“NO, I DO NOT THINK SO.” said Mettaton.

“YES, HE IS, YOU TROLOGLYTE!” said Elder Baboon angrily.

“NO, I DON’T THINK SO.” said Mettaton.

“RRRRAAAAAAAAUUUGH!” screamed Elder Baboon angrily as he made imagination gorilla slam his fist in an attempt to crush them, but they all jumped back, evading the attack in the process.

“YOU FOOLS! YOU CAN’T WIN AGAINST ILLUSORY KONG!” taunted Elder Baboon.

“YES, WE CAN.” said Mettaton.

“NO, YOU CAN’T!” said Elder Baboon.

“YES, WE CAN.” said Mettaton.

“NO, YOU CAN’T!”.

“YES, WE CAN.”

“NO, YOU CAN’T-”.

“WAIT A SEC! IF IT’S ILLUSORY, DOES THAT MEAN THIS MONKEY IS NOT REAL?” asked Papyrus. For a moment, Elder Baboon was baffled.

“Wh-….what do you mean he’s not real? Do you even see with your foolish eyes?!” said Elder Baboon.

“NOPE! HE IS NOT REAL!” said Papyrus.

“HE IS!” said Elder Baboon.

“NOPE, NOT REAL.” added Mettaton. Sakuya also caught on.

“Come to think of it, you’ve said that all of this is your imagination, right?” asked Sakuya.

“What about it?” asked Elder Baboon.

“If that’s the case, then none of your powers here are real.” said Sakuya. That made Elder Baboon very mad.

“RAAAAAAAUGH! YOU DARE DOUBT MY POWERS????!!! YAROOOOOOO!!!!!!!” screamed Elder Baboon. Then suddenly, Papyrus, Sakuya and Mettaton began walking away, denying the existence of his power.

“I-IMPOSSIBLE! IT SHOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE!” screamed Elder Baboon as all of his Imagination Breathing was vanishing. Secretly, Sakuya was peeking back, just to see Elder Baboon in a compromised position.

Once she saw him deprived of his powers, she froze time again, once again unleashing a total barrage of knives right at him. This time, he did not dodge it and was hit successfully.

Elder Baboon fell down within his own Domain Expansion. Now, the trio returned.

“No….it’s not owari da! It’s NOT OWARI DA!” seethed Elder Baboon, but Mettaton decided to pull out a disco ball and smashed it on his head.

“NO!!!! You got me this time, Papyrus and your foolish friends! But I’ll be-” seethed Elder Baboon again, but Mettaton pulled out another disco ball and smashed it on his head.

“DON’T WORRY! I’VE GOT PLENTY OF THEM, DARLING~.” said Mettaton.

“N-No….NO MORE! PLEASE HAVE MERCY!” begged Elder Baboon. Then Papyrus gave him mercy, but under few conditions.

“WE WILL SPARE YOUR LIFE, BECAUSE WE ARE NICE. HOWEVER, YOU MUST ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!” said Papyrus.

“N-no more disco balls and we’re good!” begged Elder Baboon.

“FIRST OF ALL, DO YOU KNOW FREDDY FAZBEAR?” asked Papyrus.

“….How did you find out?!” Elder Baboon was shocked.

“WELL, HE PERSONALLY VISITED ME, SO I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, DO KNOW HIM!” said Papyrus angrily.

“I must reveal you this….he has sent me….but not just me….he will throw everything at you, Papyrus.” said Elder Baboon.

“HOW VILLAINOUS! TRULY A VILLAIN OF THE TIME!” Papyrus stomped with his foot, but he proceeded. “NOW, I WILL ASK YOU ONE MORE QUESTION.”.

“Yes?” asked Elder Baboon.

“CAN YOU MAKE THEM STOP ARGUING OVER MOUNTAINS?!” ordered Papyrus.

“Mounta…..ah...hahah… I get it. B-but that gives us power! The immense power!” said Elder Baboon.

“IT ALSO MAKES YOU ALL REALLY ANNOYING, SO MAKE THEM STOP OR ELSE MERCY WILL BE DONE BY METTATON!” said Papyrus as Mettaton pulled out a disco ball.

“A-alright, alright!” said Elder Baboon as he suddenly looked very dramatic.

“Imaginary Technique: Twitter Deletus!”.

With a snap of the fingers, it all returned to normal. They were back at Stereopunk Metro. Kurumi was in a state of complete catatonic bafflement, where as others comprehended it well. Elder Baboon was laying on the road like Yamcha.

Nearby, there were some baboons.

“So, what’s your favorite anime?” asked one baboon nicely.

“Demon Slayer! It’s so cool!” said another baboon.

“Oh, I see why you like it.” even though the baboon disagreed, he respected his opinion. With Imaginary Technique: Twitter Deletus, baboons no longer had Twitter. They were back to their normal selves.

Now Elder Baboon was very sad.

“THANK YOU FOR HOLDING YOUR WORD, ELDER BABOON! IT WAS VERY NICE OF YOU!” said Papyrus. However, Elder Baboon was crying like a baby. Papyrus and the gang left the scene.

“YOU KNOW, I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING.” said Mettaton.

“What is it?” asked Sakuya.

“WE ARE ACTUALLY QUITE FAR FROM ROBOTNIK’S LAIR. WE NEED SOMETHING FAST.” said Mettaton.

“WAIT, WHY DID YOU NOT SAY IT BEFORE?!” asked Papyrus.

Kurumi was still in shock, but a pat on the back from Sakuya regained her senses.

“Ah, um...you guys need transport? There’s a train station nearby. It should lead us to Robotnik.” said Kurumi.

“BECAUSE OF WHAT SHE SAID” answered Mettaton.

“AH, I SEE! THEN, KURUMI! CAN YOU PLEASE LEAD US THE WAY?” asked Papyrus.

“Oh sure! Follow me!” said Kurumi as all began walking towards the train station. With each step taken, they were closer to Robotnik.

Meanwhile, Elder Baboon appeared in some kind of secret place. Horseman Gamma was judging him profusely.

“F-forgive me, sensei! He was just simply too strong!” Elder Baboon was on his knees.

“You donut! Nose long like garden hose!” said Horseman Gamma.

“I-I have no idea what you’re saying…” coped Elder Baboon before suddenly, Bonnie the Rabbit stepped in the room. He knelt to the Horseman Gamma before he stood up.

“Elder Baboon….baka desu….you were simply too WEAK!” Bonnie scolded him.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” screamed Elder Baboon on top of his lungs. In response, Horseman Gamma banished him to the shadow realm.

“Leave this to me, sensei.” said Bonnie before he running like crazy.

“No ketchup! Just sauce!” said Horseman Gamma as Bonnie left the scene. Now, the Bonnie will meet Papyrus and Sakuya. But what will happen?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON JUJU KATZEN!

Chapter Text

Papyrus (who was still strutting like Livesey), Sakuya, Kurumi and Mettaton were walking down the city, now going for the train stations. Baboons have been pacified, so the entire populace was happier. Through out the walk, nothing happened until they arrived at train station. There they bought tickets and waited for the train.

“HMM, YES! THIS WILL MAKE US REACH ROBOTNIK MUCH QUICKER!” said Papyrus.

“Don’t get too excited about it…” warned Kurumi.

“DO NOT FRET, AS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, TREATS THIS AS A BUSINESS TRIP!” said Papyrus.

“IT’S ALL BUSINESS AND JAMMING IN THIS TOWN, YES.~” said Mettaton.

“May I ask what kind of trains do they have here?” suddenly asked Sakuya.

“Well…” Kurumi wanted to explain, but Mettaton interrupted her.

“ONLY OF THE LATEST SHINKANSENS, OF COURSE! THE FASTEST TRAIN THERE IS KNOWN TO MAN!” said Mettaton.

“EXCELLENT! THIS WILL TAKE ONLY A MINUTE!” said Papyrus.

“THERE IS, HOWEVER, NUANCE.” suddenly said Mettaton.

“That does not bode well.” commented Sakuya.

“WHAT IS IT?” asked Papyrus as he raised his eyebrow (or what was the closest a bare skull had to one).

“THEY BROKE DOWN LAST WEEK. SO WE HAD TO LEASE.” elaborated Mettaton.

“AH, THEN THAT’S NO BIG DEAL! I AM SURE THEY GAVE YOU FAST TRAINS AS WELL.” said Papyrus.

“….Fast being a term used relatively here.” pouted Kurumi.

“THE WAY I SEE IT IS THAT SHEEN KANSAS TRAINS ARE FASTEST IN THE WORLD, BUT LEASED TRAINS ARE JUST A BIT SLOWER, BUT STILL FAST.” said Papyrus, still maintaining optimism.

“….Fast being a term used relatively AND generously here.” pouted Kurumi as well.

“FEAR NOT, KURUMI! I BELIEVE THE TRAIN WILL ARRIVE VERY SOON.” said Papyrus boisterously. Mettaton chuckled while Sakuya wasn’t deluding herself. Kurumi crossed her arms and kept the pout.

Ten minutes later.

Papyrus then remembered something.

“SAY, I’VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK.” said Papyrus.

“YES?” Mettaton allowed.

“HOW FAST ARE THESE SHEEN KANSAS TRAINS AGAIN?” asked Papyrus again.

“320 KILOMETERS PER HOUR, OR AROUND 199 MILES PER HOUR IF YOU ARE A HIPSTER.” said Mettaton.

“I SEE…..BUT HOW WILL THIS TRANSLATE TO TIME ON STATION?” asked Papyrus.

“Every minute should a train pass here.” said Sakuya.

“AHA!….NOW HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN WAITING HERE?” asked Papyrus.

“10 minutes.” Sakuya fired off an answer. Suddenly, Papyrus started to feel awkward.

“WELL….THERE’S SUPPOSED TO BE 10 TRAINS NOW, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THAT’S NOT THE CASE. I’M SURE THE WAIT WON’T BE LONG!” said Papyrus.

Another 10 minutes later, culminating into 20 overall.

Papyrus was starting to feel not so pleased.

“OKAY, IS SANS THE CONDUCTOR OR WHAT?” Papyrus started to seethe.

“Yeah, this is what I wanted to mention.” said Kurumi then she noticed something a bit off from Papyrus’ comment. “Who’s uh….Sans?”.

“SANS IS THE NAME OF MY PERPETUALLY KETCHUP CONSUMING BROTHER AND HE IS, IN FACT, GENERALLY LAZY. ” elaborated Papyrus.

“Ah, you have a brother!….But I don’t think I should question too deeply how you two were brought to the world.” Kurumi regained a smile until she started to think about potential ways skeletons could be brought to Earth.

“EITHER WAY, LETS GIVE IT MORE TIME. MAYBE THEN IT WILL ARRIVE.” said Papyrus.

Another 10 minutes later, now making 30.

And now Papyrus was not happy.

“ARGH! THIS IS STARTING TO FEEL LIKE A JAPE, BUT NOT A FUNNY ONE!” seethed Papyrus as he raised his arms.

“You could call the current state of Stereopunk Metro’s railway that.” commented Kurumi.

“IT’S EITHER TRAINS OR NO TRAINS! BESIDES, THEY’RE BETTER THAN STEREOPUNK’S BUSES.” argued Mettaton.

“Alright, can’t really argue with that.” conceded Kurumi.

“I CAN SAFELY SAY THAT BUSES IN OUR KINGDOM ARE CONSTANTLY LATE!” said Papyrus.

“WE HAVE BUSES?” asked Mettaton before they switched the topic, because the actual train arrived.

The train was from Slovenian Railways.

“I believe it has arrived.” Sakuya made them aware of the train. Papyrus was no longer seething.

“FINALLY! WELL, IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.” said Papyrus.

“YES, 30 MINUTES IS VERY EARLY FOR THEM.” commented Mettaton. Thus, they boarded the train, showed their tickets and sat on the seats. The train began moving.

Slowly.

And thus our merry band of heroes have come to a realization that they would be sitting there for hours.

Meanwhile, just outside the city, a purple hare menace was rapidly approaching their position. First thing he did was to….destroy….an unrelated bridge….then he kicked a baboon in the ass and then….he laughed. Digital jesters were crying their eyes out upon such horrid scenes. But he was getting ever close.

Now, another meanwhile, our heroes have not moved an inched. The train did though.

“NOW SINCE IT IS OBVIOUS THIS WILL TAKE A LONG TIME, WE SHOULD TELL EACH OTHER STORIES!” suggested Papyrus.

“Great idea, Papyrus! I’m sure there’s a lot of stories you have!” Kurumi was genuinely interested to hear about them.

“That would be nice, yes.” added Sakuya.

“I BELIEVE THAT I KNOW SOME OF THEM, BUT YOU TWO LADIES ARE ALSO FREE TO TELL SOME STORIES.” said Mettaton.

“WHO SHALL START FIRST?” asked Papyrus.

“I think it would be okay if you did, Papyrus.” Kurumi allowed him.

“WELL THEN! THAT IS VERY KIND OF YOU, KURUMI! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL BEGIN!” said Papyrus as he began to tell a story.

“YOU SEE, THERE ONCE WAS A HUMAN WHO FELL DOWN. HE VISITED SNOWDIN AND QUICKLY BECAME INFAMOUS FOR INTRODUCING A NEW DISCOURSE.” began Papyrus.

“Ah, and what would….that discourse be?” asked Kurumi.

“WHETHER OR NOT DOES PINEAPPLE BELONG ON SPAGHETTI!” revealed Papyrus. Sakuya raised her eyebrow upon that.

“That’s sort of a new one.” said Sakuya.

“Pineapple on what?” asked Kurumi.

“PINEAPPLE ON SPAGHETTI! PERSONALLY, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WAS SO APPALLED BY IT THAT I STRICTLY FORBADE THEM TO EVER MAKE SPAGHETTI WITH PINEAPPLE EVER AGAIN!” said Papyrus.

“IT’S NOT THE WORST THING TO PUT PINEAPPLE ON.” said Mettaton just to troll everyone.

“METTATON, IF YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT PIZZA, THEN THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE IT’S NOT SPAGHETTI! SPAGHETTI MUST BE PURE!” insisted Papyrus.

“So um, I take it spaghetti is your favorite food, since you are certainly passionate about?” asked Kurumi.

“ACTUALLY, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, LIKES OATMEAL WITH DINOSAUR EGGS THE MOST!” revealed Papyrus, causing Mettaton to be slightly surprised.

“THAT IS QUITE A TWIST HERE, MY FRIEND!” said Mettaton.

“YOU SEE, I LOVE COOKING SPAGHETTI, BUT I HAVE NOT TRIED IT OUT!” elaborated Papyrus.

“Now, I’m curious. What about your brother? What is his favorite food?” asked Kurumi.

“KETCHUP.” Papyrus fired away an answer at meteor speed.

“You mean as in that is his favorite sauce or…?” piqued Kurumi.

“YES, IT IS HIS FAVORITE DRINK.” said Papyrus. That caused Sakuya and Kurumi to be confused.

“What do you mean it is his favorite drink?” asked Sakuya.

“THAT IS SOMETHING I ASK MYSELF, BECAUSE HE CHUGS IT LIKE A HUMMER!” Papyrus admitted that he was just as confused as they were.

“NOW IF YOU HAD A KETCHUP WITH A STEAK OF MY FACE, THEN THAT WOULD BE PERFECTLY FINE!” intervened Mettaton.

“Of course you’d have a face of yourself as a steak…” grumbled Kurumi.

“TRUST ME THAT ALL ANIMOSITY YOU HAVE TOWARDS ME WOULD DISAPPEAR ONCE YOU WOULD HAVE TASTED THAT DELICIOUS STEAK!” said Mettaton.

“Meat buns are better anyway.” pouted Kurumi.

“Since we are talking about food, I wonder if this train has some service.” pondered Sakuya.

“PREVIOUS ONES CERTAINLY DID, BUT THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THIS ONE.” said Mettaton.

“Perhaps I should go out and see.” offered Sakuya.

“Nah, there’s no need to. I don’t think anyone’s hungry.” said Kurumi.

“IT’S FUNNY, SINCE I HAVE EATEN THAT FINGER, I HAVEN’T BEEN HUNGRY AT ALL.” said Papyrus.

“What do you mean since you have eaten the finger?!” Kurumi a flat out mental block upon hearing it.

“AH HECK! MY BAD! I MIGHT HAVE SAID TOO MUCH!” Papyrus retracted his statement.

“He means that literally and to tell you the truth, I’m not sure what why does he have to eat them.” said Sakuya quietly to Kurumi. At that point, Kurumi was completely confused.

“EITHER WAY, I’M SURE THAT THERE’S MORE STORIES TO TELL! IF IT GOES LIKE THAT, I’M SURE TIME WILL-” Papyrus wanted to say, until…

“Domain expansion.”.

<< 1.5 x <<

“WWWWHOOOO SAAAAIIIID THAAAAAAT????!!!!” Papyrus suddenly started to talk in slow motion because the whole world slowed down by 1.5x. Except for the Sorcerer who unleashed that.

The Sorcerer in question being none other than….

“STARDUST SPEEDWAY!”.

Bonnie the Rabbit.

Since he was not slowed down by his cursed powers, Bonnie was running at his normal speed, which it looked like it was very fast. With his speed, he crashed into the train, arriving right into the cabin of the heroes. Everyone there, including Mettaton, was greatly surprised by the purple rabbit’s appearance.

“Omae!” yelled Bonnie as he pointed his finger at Papyrus. The skeleton man came to one realization. In the mean time, Sakuya already had her hands on her knives.

“HEEEEEYYYYY, YOUUUUUU LOOOOOK LIIIIIIIIKEEEEE JUUUUUUST LIIIIIKEEEEE THAAAAAAT BEEEEAAAAR!” said Papyrus.

“TAAAALK FAAAASTER SOOOO THAAAAT THIIIIS DOEEESN’T GEEEEEET ANNNOOOYYYYINGGGG!” advised Mettaton.

“OKAY! AHEM, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE JUST LIKE THAT BEAR!” said Papyrus fastly.

“Indeed!” said Bonnie with pride, but since that was a confirmation of his alliance, Sakuya immediately stopped time. The world came to a still.

Immediately, she threw dozens of knives at him. Those knives froze in the air, but then she saw something that completely caught her off guard.

Although incredibly slowed down, Bonnie was able to move in the frozen time. The rabbit noticed the incoming knives and sidestepped.

Sakuya’s time stop came to an end. All of the knives were avoided by the rabbit.

“Fufufufu! So it is!” Bonnie decided to not waste on some monologues and sprinted towards them like a bowling ball, managing to knock out Papyrus, Mettaton and Kurumi in the process. Sakuya was just far away enough that he missed her.

“WHAT THE HECK???!!!” said Papyrus angrily.

“OF COURSE YOU REALIZE THIS MEANS WAR!” said Mettaton slightly frustrated as he pulled out fan mail bombs.

“WHAT IS THIS??!!!” yelled Kurumi, first time ever seeing an animatronic rabbit Sorcerer. But Bonnie did not care as he was preparing to sprint again right towards them.

However, the moment he made another hole in the train, Sakuya stopped time. Instead of attacking Bonnie, she just pushed every other person away from the rabbit’s predicted trajectory. Once time resumed, Bonnie attempted to steer, but due to laws of physics, being fast also meant that his steering was shit, so he missed them.

As the second attack of Bonnie passed by, Papyrus, Mettaton and Sakuya began to think how to attack him, all in the heat of the moment because the next attack was following soon. Papyrus had an idea.

That time, Bonnie did not need to make another hole in the train, since there was already one on the side. Before Sakuya could stop time, Papyrus snapped with his fingers.

“You’re blue now!”.

Bonnie was blue now, but it did not slow him down. All it did was make his jumps smaller.

“DRAT, MY PLAN WAS FOILED!” said Papyrus before Sakuya slowed down time again, pushing them away. Once time resumed, Bonnie’s attack missed.

They were preparing for the fourth attack. Since direct attacks were not working, they were thinking quickly. Mettaton was the first to get an idea, by throwing around fan mail bombs near the entrances of holes.

“NOW LETS SEE IF YOU FOIL THIS!” boasted Mettaton as he actually distanced himself from the battlefield. He predicted that Bonnie would use the hole again.

His prediction was right because Bonnie went through there and stepped on the fan mail. Upon contact, they were blown up, causing Bonnie to trip and also severe damage to his legs. At the same time, Sakuya stopped time and threw knives at him. Because he was tripping, he couldn’t dodge them. Now his body was full of knives. Once time resumed, Bonnie fell on the knives. And then, Papyrus used his bone magic to make a bone prison. Bonnie was now trapped.

“WELL NOW! IT APPEARS THAT YOU HAVE LOST THIS RACE, RABBIT!” said Papyrus.

“What race?” asked Sakuya.

“Hehehe….you think it’s over yet?” taunted Bonnie.

“IT APPEARS YES, BECAUSE I DON’T THINK YOU CAN GET OUT OF MY BONE PRISON.” said Papyrus. In the mean time, Mettaton already prepared disco balls.

“Heh...hehehe…..MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” suddenly laughed Bonnie.

“WHAT IS SO FUNNY NOW?!” said Papyrus angrily.

“You FOOL! You don’t know of my second NORYOKU!” said Bonnie smugly.

“YOUR WHAT NOW?!” Papyrus was shook. Suddenly, Bonnie started to make weird hand gestures. Then he started to float.

“W-WHAT’S GOING ON?!” screamed Kurumi as she couldn’t contribute to the fight because she was having a mental block.

Bonnie while he was floating in the bone prison, he saw his life flash in front of his eyes. When he was younger, he was bullied by baboons.

“NO RIZZ! NO RIZZ! NO RIZZ!”.

Those were words that echoed in his mind. That’s why he kicked a baboon in the ass before, to avenge his charisma.

“Ah….when I was a rizzless rabbit….” he mused to himself when another moment in his life flashed. It was him, first time meeting Freddy Fazbear. At the time, Bonnie was feeling down, because he felt like he had no rizz.

“Do not fret, friend. It doesn’t matter how much rizz you have. What matters is that you become strongest.” said Freddy Fazbear. These words changed Bonnie’s life forever. Ever since that day, he trained to become strongest, fastest rabbits.

“Yes…..I am fastest….I am strongest….” he mused to himself more, feeling euphoric. At that point, even Papyrus had only one thing to say.

“WHAT.”.

And then, a moment flashed in his life, his “peak” of his life. That was when he finally beat that damn turtle in the race and also won in an arm wrestling match against ice fairy, who was a bit too busy freezing frogs.

“I AM FASTEST! I AM STRONGEST!” past Bonnie kept saying. He couldn’t help but smile, now that Bonnie himself was at the peak of his power.

“Yes...I was destined for this. I was destined to be the one with speed.” said Bonnie as he was covered in purple aura. Others just stared while he was going through true power in the bone prison. Then, he looked at them all in the eyes.

“IMAGINARY TECHNIQUE: VELOCITY PURPLE!”.

With a snap of his finger, everything flashed to white. It was then when…..

…..

……

Papyrus and his colleagues found Bonnie in pieces, still in bone prison. Apparently, Velocity Purple made him so fast that he could break anything.

Except calcium.

“Goddamnit!” Bonnie said his last words, now in complete shambles, before he decided to shut down out of shame. Bonnie was now out of the fight. Upon realizing that he was no longer a threat, Papyrus made bones disappear.

“WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!” Papyrus asked.

“HMM, THAT WAS CERTAINLY UNUSUAL. I HAVEN’T SEEN SUCH POWER BEFORE.” commented Mettaton.

“Is it just me or was that monkey a harder fight than him?” asked Sakuya.

“OOF.” said Mettaton.

Meanwhile, Kurumi was just staring out of the window, having an existential crisis after what she just witnessed. Sakuya noticed that and tapped her on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry, it’s gonna eventually become normal.” Sakuya said, but Kurumi was still having an existential crisis.

“Take your time with it.” Sakuya said again, realizing that it will take time.

In truth, not even Papyrus or Mettaton knew how to process this.

“MAN, THIS FREDDY FAZBEAR GUY EMPLOYS SOME WEIRDOS, I TELL YOU!” said Papyrus.

“SOMEONE’S GONNA HAVE TO PAY FOR THESE HOLES AND IT’S NOT GONNA ME.” said Mettaton.

“WELL THEN, NOW I HOPE REST OF IT WILL BE UNEVENTFUL!” said Papyrus as all of them sat down. The train was moving very slow, but they were getting ever closer to Robotnik.

Meanwhile, the ghost of Bonnie was in some white void, where Freddy Fazbear and Horseman Gamma were awaiting him.

“Freddy….Horseman….forgive me.” said Bonnie.

“Chilling in corridor, your man is 44.” said Horseman Gamma. Meanwhile, Freddy did not look angry. He in fact, looked rather satisfied.

“Stand proud, Bonnie. You’re strong.” said Freddy Fazbear.

Bonnie began to cry.

“What is this feeling?” he asked before he disappeared into non existence, not to shadow realm. Freddy Fazbear and Horseman Gamma returned to the mortal realm.

In the mean time, Robotnik was sitting on his chair, just providing music for the entire city. Suddenly, Scratch and Grounder entered his room.

“Sir, there’s something you should know!” said Scratch.

“If therrree’s something to do with that loud bonehead, I already know!” said Robotnik.

“Oh, you do?” asked Grounder.

“OF COURSE, you nincompoops! In fact, I am awaiting for his arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrival! Hahahahaha!” laughed Robotnik.

“Well, what should we do?” asked Scratch.

“All you two metalheads need to do is to make him and his band of bandits feel like guests. Everything else shall be left to me!” said Robotnik.

“That’s it?” asked Grounder.

“If I had more tasks for you, I’d give them to you. Now SCRRRRRRAM and make him feel welcome!” said Robotnik. Scratch and Grounder sodded off while they prepared the preparations. In the mean time, Robotnik interlocked his fingers and did the Gendo pose.

“So, Papyrus. I know exactly what you want...but first, you’ll have to go through me!” boasted Robotnik to himself, sealing his fateful encounter with Papyrus. But what exactly will happen there?

Find out next time on JUJU KATZEN!!!!!

Chapter Text

After many hours of Slovenian Railways-leased train, they have finally arrived in the center of Stereopunk Metro. Papyrus, Sakuya, Kurumi and Mettaton all stepped out of the train and then went to the most glamorous and biggest house in the whole city: Robotnik’s Lair.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this…” admitted Kurumi.

“THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS YOU TO FEEL, HO HO!” chuckled Mettaton.

“...Not funny there, Mettaton.” pouted Kurumi.

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HOWEVER, HAVE A VERY GOOD FEELING! THE FINGER IS VERY CLOSE!” said Papyrus.

“Sorry if I come off as impolite, but hasn’t that put us in danger?” asked Sakuya.

“DRAT! SORRY ABOUT THAT, HABITS CAN BE HARD TO OVERCOME!” apologized Papyrus.

“I mean, it’s alright. The entire city knows now.” said Kurumi rather poutily.

“LET US NOT WASTE ANY TIME, DARLINGS! GLORY AWAITS US!” said Mettaton as they kept walking towards Robotnik’s Lair. Papyrus still had that “stride” of his, while everyone else walked normally.

And then, they found themselves at the entrance. Papyrus wanted to knock on the door, but they opened by themselves. They were big, golden, evil doors.

“Oh, the feeling’s getting worse….” sighed Kurumi.

But just when they finished opening, Scratch and Grounder were waiting right in front of them. They had microphones in their hands.

“AHA! We got you now!” said Scratch smugly!

“Yeah! Prepare to get busted!” said Grounder as four arrows appeared over their heads.

Papyrus was not pleased. Neither was his group.

“Urrrghghghghghh……” grimaced Kurumi, she was not having it.

“YOU TWO AGAIN?! ARE YOU GOING TO BE RUDE, JUST LIKE BEFORE?!” seethed Papyrus.

“Rude? Just rude? Oh no, we’re gonna get real MEAN!” boasted Scratch as he was preparing his microphone.

“Real mean bean machines, yeah!” boasted Grounder.

“OH MAN, THE DESPERATION IS REAL THERE~.” Mettaton mused to himself.

“What exactly are those….arrows above your head?” Sakuya pointed at them as she was getting real confused.

“This? This is our secret weapon!” said Scratch!

“Yeah, we’re gonna rap and rap until you all faint!” revealed Grounder casually.

“No, you idiot! You just foiled our plan!” seethed Scratch.

“Lets see them rap then!” seethed Grounder back as they began to bicker. Papyrus and his group just tried to sneak away, until….

“SCRATCH! GRRROOOUNDER! YOU IIIIIIIIDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”.

The bellowing yell was so loud that even Papyrus was startled.

Then he arrived.

Doctor Ivo Robotnik, in his lardass glory.

Kurumi became angry. Mettaton became intrigued. Papyrus and Sakuya, however, were a bit confused.

“O-oh, Robotnik! We didn’t expect you to!” said Scratch.

“I didn’t give you an order to strrrrrrike them down, did I?” Robotnik was real pissed.

“Um, they tried to take over the city!” argued Grounder.

“SILENCE! Now, get out and mop all floors in the city! NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!” yelled Robotnik on top of his lungs and then those two robots just sodded off.

Then, Robotnik became chill.

“Ahem, sorry for their insolence. They can be quite nefariously stupid most of the time.” suddenly, Robotnik acted like a gentleman.

“Don’t play coy with us, you mustached tyrant.” Kurumi gnashed her teeth.

“Oh, I am so sorry, Mrs. Cartoon Eyed Rebel. I didn’t ASK you for your opinion! Nor of Mettaton!” taunted Robotnik.

“I DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING.” said Mettaton.

“Let it stay that way, you manipulative tin can! I know exactly why you two are here, but it is not you two that I anticipated.” said Robotnik as he turned to Papyrus. “Indeed, the guest that I have anticipated through out all this time was none other than Papyrus!”.

“HUH? REALLY?” Papyrus raised his eyebrow. Kurumi was actually quite shocked, but she didn’t say anything. Mettaton pleaded the fifth.

“Yesssssss….Welcome, Papyrus! Make yourself at home!” now Robotnik acted all nice. As nice as he could.

“I WOULD LOVE TO IF IT WASN’T FOR THE FACT MY HOME TURNED INTO A RESTAURANT!” Papyrus kept his guard. He thought Robotnik was quite suspicious.

“Oh, that is most unfortunate! Luckily, I have something that you look for!” offered Robotnik, immediately gaining suspicion of Sakuya and Papyrus.

“It can’t be that easy, right?” asked Sakuya. Papyrus agreed.

“HMMM, ARE THERE ANY CATCHES AT THIS, MR. ROBOTNIK?” asked Papyrus.

“None! None whatsoever!” said Robotnik.

“ARE YOU SURE?” asked Papyrus.

“Yes!” said Robotnik.

“REALLY?” insisted Papyrus.

“Yes.” said Robotnik, now with not a smile on his face.

“FOR REAL?” Papyrus kept going at it. At that point, Robotnik scowled.

“...Fine! Persistent, aren’t you? Come with me on the top floor! Let your gang of hooligans join as well!” seethed Robotnik before he stormed off to the nearest elevator and went on the toppest floor.

“SEE? FROM THAT MUSTACHE OF MALEVOLENCE I KNEW HE WAS HIDING SOMETHING!” Papyrus knew what he was doing.

“WELL DONE, DARLING!~ YOUR WITS HAVE POWERED THROUGH HIS CUNNING!” complimented Mettaton, surprisingly genuinely.

“Hey, Papyrus? I don’t really have a good feeling for this. I feel like you are going into a trap.” admitted Kurumi as she was worried.

“DON’T WORRY! IT IS NOT THE FIRST TRAP WE HAVE DEALT WITH. ISN’T THAT RIGHT, SAKUYA?” said Papyrus.

“Right…” Sakuya suddenly got painful memories of being stuck in a big maze. However, they all went inside elevator and arrived at the top floor of Robotnik lair. They found themselves in some kind of battle arena.

“Now, I request everyone except Papyrus to be the audience! This will be just one versus one, mano a mano!” requested Robotnik.

Sakuya squinted at him, already preparing her knives. “You have something behind your back, don’t you?”

“NO! I’ll explain everything soon. If he wants to get what he wants, then it must be a duel!” said Robotnik.

“HE’S RIGHT, DARLING. LET US GET SOME POPCORN!” said Mettaton as they all sat on those chairs, except Papyrus. The skeleton looked at the mad doctor in his red eyes.

“Papyrus, I know exactly why you came here. You came for that FINGER, haven’t you?” asked Robotnik with delight.

“IT IS NO SECRET, YES! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE MADE SOME GRAVE TACTICAL MISTAKES, BUT I WILL ALWAYS STAND BY TRUTH!” said Papyrus epicly.

“HAHAHAHA! Of course! I will give you the finger, under one condition!” said Robotnik. Rest of the Papyrus gang watched closely.

“LET ME GUESS. WE WILL HAVE TO FIGHT FOR IT.” guessed Papyrus.

“Yesssss, that’s exactly it! I must say, your intellect is a lot sharper than I expected!” admitted Robotnik.

“EXPERIENCES SHARPEN WITS! BUT I’M CURIOUS THOUGH….WHY MUST WE FIGHT EXACTLY? IS IT BECAUSE YOUR EVIL DICTATES SO?” asked Papyrus.

“Oh, I’m flattered, but it’s not because of that. It’s the will of the finger that dictates the battle! You see, without this finger, I lose the control of the city! I will no longer be able to provide good music for my citizens and I won’t be able to control them! But that is a risk I’m willing to take!” monologued Robotnik.

“THEN, LET US GET TO BUSINESS! YOU AND I, DOCTOR ROBOTNIK!” Papyrus prepared his battle stance as he spawned few bones.

But suddenly, Robotnik made a weird hand gesture.

“DOMAIN EXPANSION!”.

Suddenly, the entire place turned into space. Papyrus was now really angry.

“WHY MUST THAT ACCURSED PHRASE ALWAYS FOLLOW MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!”.

Kurumi and Sakuya, although already experiencing such power before were shocked. Even Mettaton was surprised.

“I DIDN’T KNOW HE HAD THIS CARD IN HIS SLEEVE!” said Mettaton.

Then, Papyrus found himself in space. There were floating giant Robotnik heads, which looked static and two dimensional.

Then suddenly, Robotnik began floating like a shounen villain.

“Welcome….to…..”

Then, he revealed the name of his power. Even letters morphed into existence.

“PINGAS DIMENSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”.

Robotnik became surrounded by giant Robotnik heads. Even Papyrus was shocked as such power.

“NOW GO! SNOOP HIM AROUND!” ordered Robotnik as giant Robotnik heads flew straight to Papyrus. At that point, Kurumi fainted from sheer aura of Robotnik’s power.

However, Papyrus dodged very epicly. Then he snapped with his fingers.

“You’re blue now!”.

But it had no effect. Robotnik was floating in space. There was no gravity, only Robotnik heads.

“HAHAHAHAHA! You think a measly powerrrr can do anything against me?” taunted Robotnik, but Papyrus insisted. Then he began throwing bones at him, which Robotnik dodged them like a ballerina.

“OH HECK, HE IS DEFINITELY MORE POWERFUL THAN THAT RABBIT!” thought Papyrus to himself as he used more of his bone attacks, but to no avail.

In response, Robotnik fired more of his heads.

“HaPINNESS is what we all truly strive for!” said Robotnik as he threw his giant floating head like a spirit bomb.

But Papyrus dodged it. Even he used anti gravity to his advantage.

Little effect was that the audience was floating too.

“I must be fair, but I wish to assist him.” thought Sakuya to herself.

“THIS WAS NOT ACCORDING TO THE PLAN!” said Mettaton. Kurumi was still unconscious.

However, they battle of bones and head was coming to a stalemate. Thus, Robotnik decided to use his secret technique.

Alright, Papyrus! You leave me no choice!”.

Suddenly, the whole space turned into a laser hallway.

Then….

Robotnik began dancing. Techno Morrocan music played as he performed the sickest moves ever known to man. Even Papyrus was mesmerized by his moves.

He didn’t announce it. He didn’t even say it.

But Dance of GOATs was unleashed.

“DON’T HOLD BACK!”.

Even Mettaton and Sakuya couldn’t resist dancing. By that, they acknowledged who is the GOAT.

Papyrus was confused completely, but a Jamaican voice spoke within him.

“UNLEASH ME! IT IS I WHO NEEDS TO BATTLE!”.

Papyrus responded in his thoughts.

“NOT YET! WE MUST THINK! THIS IS UNLIKE ANYTHING BEFORE!” advised Papyrus, but even he was having difficulties with the sheer GOATness of Ronotnik’s dance.

But Robotnik did not boast, nor taunt.

The dance spoke for itself.

As the song went on, Papyrus was finding it harder to resist it.

“DO NOT KNEEL, MY VESSEL! DO NOT LET HIM BE THE GOAT!” said Sugma within his mind.

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM REALLY TRYING!” said Papyrus as he was close to succumbing to the Dance of GOATs.

But then the big part came.

“WORLD! THE TIME HAS COME TO!”.

Papyrus had no more choices left. Either he would kneel or become the GOAT.

He bit his finger.

“PUSH THE BUTTON!”.

Sugma has emerged.

“MY FINGER IS ON THE BUTTON!”.

Both Robotnik and Sugma danced equally epicly.

“MY FINGER IS ON THE BUTTON!”.

But Sugma was getting more epic. He was truly aura maxxing.

Even Robotnik began to sweat.

“MY FINGER IS ON THIS BUTTON!”.

Then….Sugma struck the most auramaxxed pose of all time.

“PUSH THE BUTTON!”.

It was Robotover. Robotnik has fallen. Billions must GOAT.

Sugma kept dancing until the song stopped.

And once it did, Sakuya, Robotnik and Mettaton knelt to him.

“GOAT.” They all said in union. Sugma has won.

However, Sugma sensed a dangerous presence.

“TAMEDA….IT’S NOT OVER YET” Sugma raised his finger, observing the battlefield. Suddenly, the lights went out.

And some kind of rap music began to play.

“SHOW YOURSELF, HORSEMAN!”.

Horseman Gamma has asserted his presence.

“YO! BIG SHAQ!”.

========= TO BE CONTINUED =======>

Chapter Text

“YO! BIG SHAQ!”.

Horseman Gamma has logged in. Robotnik knew that he meant business, considering how locked in did Horseman Gamma look. Sugma took an interest in him, since he saw a challenger. Sakuya was very confused. So was Mettaton. Kurumi was still unconscious.

“The one and only. Man’s not hot. Never hot.”

Sugma raised his eyebrow.

Suddenly….

“SKRAAAAAAA!”

Suddenly, Sugma was sent flying thanks to the sheer force of Horseman Gamma’s attack. Even Sugma was very surprised.

“Skidi ka ka! Boom!”.

“KONO POWER DA!” he thought to himself. Unlike Horseman Delta before, Horseman Gamma hit different. Sakuya and Mettaton were even more shocked. Robotnik, however, was very well aware of his master’s power. After all, him being a mayor was merely a figurehead position. Only thanks to his Pingas Dimension was he able to convince Horseman Gamma to employ him.

“W-what is this?!” Sakuya crumbled instantly. Even Mettaton was afraid.

“I DIDN’T ANTICIPATE THIS POWER!!!” said Mettaton.

“That’s why your plan would fail in the first place, you dishonest dispenser! He has something that none of you do!” said Robotnik.

“AND WHAT’S THAT?” asked Mettaton.

“Two plus two is four, minus one that’s three, QUICK MATHS!” boasted Horseman Gamma. Sugma barely picked himself up, but he was ready to fight the rapping ghost.

“He has AUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRA!” revealed Robotnik, the secret sauce of this universe.

Going back into the past, Aura is what was prevalent in the times of Mesopotamian civilizations, although back then it was simply called “being badass”. But thanks to the linguistic development, greatly influenced by baboons, it has been renamed into “aura”, for reasons hard to comprehend.

However, the most notable instance of aura was in the year 2019, when Horseman Gamma walked through Stereopunk Metro, radiating pure and raw energy with his locked in energy. The hidden baboon splinter cells have emerged, as they all knelt down to Horseman Gamma.

“Oh man, this rizzler is bussin’!” said a baboon when he saw Horseman Gamma’s aura.

“Peak!!! Peak!!! So peaking peak!!!!!” baboons already began to shout as Horseman Gamma took over the city, with baboons serving as his minions.

In year 2020, Robotnik and Mettaton were first to realize they were being played like pawns by Horseman Gamma, so they forged up a plan: they would pretend they have a rivalry, so that they would take down Horseman Gamma once and for all.

However, Horseman Gamma’s rizz….was impeccable. Even Robotnik’s Pingas Dimension and Dance of GOATs did little to curb Gamma’s power, so as a punishment, Horseman Gamma put him as a figurehead of Stereopunk Metro.

Kurumi, of course, was unaware. She bought in the “Robotnik is the ultimate evil” fantasy, all according to Horseman Gamma’s plan.

But now, back to battle.

“Everyday man’s on a block. Smoke trees!” said Horseman Gamma as suddenly the whole area became full of smoke. Sakuya became stoned because smoke vent inside her nostrills. Mettaton didn’t, because he didn’t have a nose.

Neither did Sugma, because the smoke just went through his skeleton.

Without saying a word, Sugma tried to attack with his fists, but when he got close, he realized he couldn’t hit Horseman Gamma. His fists stopped about 4,11 centimeters from Horseman Gamma’s face. Horseman Gamma acted like he wasn’t even attacking.

“See your girl in the park, that girl is an UCKERS!” said Horseman Gamma as Sakuya stopped being stoned and felt like she must join the battle. She stopped her time and tried attacking Horseman Gamma with her knives.

“When the ting went QUACK-QUACK-QUACK!” Horseman Gamma suddenly spawned spirit ghost ducks that attacked Sakuya’s knives. It became clear that time stop meant nothing against Horseman Gamma.

“You man were ducking!” Horseman Gamma spat out more of lyrical fire as Sakuya felt an urgent urge to duck, which she did.

“W-what kind of power is this?!” she thought to herself, visibly afraid of Horseman Gamma’s power.

But Sugma did not feel fear. He just felt motivated to take Gamma to shadow realm.

“Hold tight, Asznee! He's got the pumpy!” taunted Gamma as Sugma approached him, with intent to beat the shit out of him. Mettaton saw that the battle was not going as envisioned, so he started throwing fanmail bombs at Gamma. Horseman Gamma, however, saw the attack.

“He’s got a frisbee!” Horseman Gamma made a frisbee out of his aura and threw it at Mettaton, knocking him out instantly. Sugma and Sakuya were still in the fight, Robotnik was oddly not participating.

Sugma prepared for his next attack, but he was caught completely blind sighted by Horseman Gamma’s next statement.

“You donut! Nose long like garden hose!”.

Sugma was sent flying from the sheer power of his statement.

“KONO POWER!!” Sugma thought to himself, while now thinking his battle plan. He knew that he was powerless when Gamma was dropping bars.

Sakuya, however, did not comprehend that aural power. She was already crumbling.

“W-what can I even do? I can’t even lay a knife on him!” she thought to herself, but Sugma remained composed.

Gamma, however, kept going.

“I tell her man’s not hot, I tell her man’s not hot! The girl told me, “Take off your jacket!””

“Take off your jacket.” suddenly said Sakuya before she covered her mouth, realizing that she’s been had

“I said, “Babe’s, man’s not hot!” Gamma’s phrase was so powerful, that it knocked Sakuya out of the fight.

Sugma still thought of his battle plan.

But he was not prepared for what was coming.

“Hop out the four-door with the .44, It was one, two, three and four!” suddenly, Aura Guns of Horseman Gamma spawned and then he fired bullets.

Surprisingly, bullets hit Sugma.

“GRAH! THIS IS SOME SERIOUS HOO HAH! I MUST THINK FURTHER!” Sugma said his thoughts out loud.

However, Gamma kept going.

“Chillin’ in the corridor, your dad is 44!” Gamma suddenly spat out.

Even Sugma was getting afraid now.

“WHAT?!” he shouted calmly and collectively.

“Let him know, when I see him, I’m gonna spin his JAW!” suddenly, Horseman Gamma punched Sugma, spinning his jaw in the process.

“Take man’s Twix by force!” he said as he suddenly stole Sugma’s Twix chocolate bars.

“Send man’s shop by force!” Horseman Gamma kicked Sugma as he was sent through the shop, which Gamma has created with his Aura.

“Your girl knows I’ve got the sauce!” suddenly, Horseman Gamma brought in a ketchup. Also suddenly, sans spawned in.

“hey guys, how’s it going?” he said before he could get a better view on it.

“No ketchup! Just sauce!” Suddenly, the sheer power of Gamma’s phrase sent sans to the wall. Due to the fact he was rather lazy bones, he was knocked out of the fight.

“bro what even happened?” he asked before his consciousness faded.

Sugma was truly now only one remaining.

“Raw sauce! Ah, yo, boom, ah!”.

Suddenly, Sugma sensed great danger ahead.

“OH NO! I AM HAVING NOT GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT THIS!” he thought to himself.

He thought right.

“Ting goes SKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!”

The sheer force of his words had a significant emotional impact on Sugma, as he even began bleeding from his mouth.

“I’VE BEEN ALIVE SINCE THE ROMAN TIMES AND THIS IS THE MOST BULLSHIT FIGHT I HAVE EVER FOUGHT!!!” he seethed hard. Horseman Gamma did not care.

“Pap, pap, ka-ka-ka!” his words were like machine gun punches to him.

But then, Sugma finally realized it.

“HOL UP!!!! I GOT IT” he thought to himself quietly.

“Skidiki-pap-pap!!!” however before he coould formulate his thoughts, he got his ass whooped by Horseman Gamma.

Then he finally realized it.

“AS LONG AS HE SINGS, I AM POWERLESS! THEREFORE…”

Suddenly, Sugma pretended he had no ears.

He was a skeleton, he already had no ears? How did he hear? I have no idea.

Suddenly, he stood up. He began flexing, realizing at the power of “I ain’t hearing it allat”.

“You didn't hear me, did you?” Gamma sang, but Sugma did not respond. At that point, Gamma realized he was flexing too hard.

He went for “SKRAAAAAAA” again. This time, no effect, because Sugma pretended he had no ears.

Then, Sugma did the finger thingymajing.

“DOMAIN EXPANSION!”

Suddenly, the shadow realm was now open, with Sugma and Horseman Gamma being there.

Horseman Gamma, however, didn’t yield so easily. Even when Sugma juggled his finger, he didn’t yield so easily.

Instead, Horseman Gamma just whistled.

His horse arrived.

Well, not really a horse. More like a Lamborghini Aventador, driven by the chaffeur by the name of Horse KSI. He was not a horse ghost, but a rapper ghost.

“Got rocks on my wrist, that shit you can't resist, Cash flow greater than the haters hating on my jizz, Riding in your face, looking like I found a damn genie, Wiling in my Lamborghini!!!”

The song was so loud, that even describing it would turn readers deaf. However, Sugma pretended he had no ears.

However, he could not pretend to not have a body, because Lamborghini ran over him, sending him flying.

“NANI??!!!! AUTOMOBILE ATTACK?!” Sugma was legitimately called off guard. Horseman Gamma gave him the Aura Stare, asserting his dominance before he went inside the car.

Sugma realized that he had to solve it old school style.

“THAT’S IT!! BRING IT ON, HORSEMAN GAMMA!!!” Sugma put up fists, but he was no match for Gamma’s Lamborghini. He just kept running over him. And over. And over.

At that point, Sugma realized he was getting cooked.

“OWARI DA….SO THIS IS WHERE MY LIFE ENDS! SHAMEFUL DISPLAY!!!” he thought to himself, just before he was about to be run over byLamborghini.

Suddenly, the time stopped.

First, a knife went though Lamborghini’s tires.

Then, a knife went through radio.

And then, a knife went through the engine.

Sakuya was back in action. And she was pissed. She didn’t say a word, but she was ready to whoop Gamma’s ass.

“OHO! IT’S NOT OWARI DA!” Sugma realized as he picked himself up, realizing that Sakuya is on his side.

But he wasn’t the only one. Mettaton and Robotnik were also back in action.

“FLIP THE SWITCH, DOCTOR!~” said Mettaton.

“RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROGER THAT!” said Robotnik as he flipped the switch. Suddenly, the shadow realm became bright.

“OOOOOOH YESSSSSS~”.

Mettaton became fabulous.

“You know what we must do now, Doctor!” said Mettaton.

Suddenly, they began dancing. The Dance of GOATs was unleashed.

“Don’t hold back!”.

It turned out that Mettaton turning fabulous was required for the Dance of GOATs to get power, to overpower the aura of Horseman Gamma.

It was working, Horseman Gamma was completely puzzled by such development. Horse KSI, however, immediately caved.

Sakuya wanted to throw knives at Gamma, but Sugma stopped her.

“LET ME COOK!” said Sugma as he stepped closer to Horseman Gamma.

“You don' know!” said Gamma as he gave his final aura stare to Sugma.

However, Sugma had it.

He has sent Horseman Gamma to the shadow realm. Finally, the goddamn aura and such was over.

And so Papyrus was now back in his normal self.

“WH….WHAT HAPPENED?!” said Papyrus as his head was hurt. Even thought Dance of GOATs was committed, everyone around him knelt, as he dealt the finishing blow to Horseman Gamma.

“GOAT.” they all said in union.

Papyrus was confused.

“GOAT?! I AM NOT A GOAT! I AM PAPYRUS!” he seethed, confused at the whole ordeal.

None than less, Horseman Gamma has fallen to the shadow realm. It was Aurover for Gamma. The Stereopunk Metro now knew peace and quiet from baboonery.