Work Text:
I.
Kohane always thought the winter felt lonely. When snow would fall, gently piling as it glimmered in the sun. The sight was pretty, though she always seemed to dread the winter, watching it near on the calendar, it left her with a sinking feeling in her stomach.
Small flakes drifted downwards, the distance ebbing away as the slight breeze carried them. Kohane was left to watch, the snow landing gingerly on the ground. Each fragment of snow hardly disturbing the blades of grass and plants that had since lost their leaves.
The scene looked lonely, achingly so. The photographer felt her lips tilt downwards, a ghost of a frown etching its way onto her face. Even if she went home now, she figured that Count Pearl would have begun brumation. Christmas always seemed to feel.. isolated, despite the cheer that was traditionally associated with it.
Shakily, she stood, brushing off the loose snow from her head and clothes. Kohane shivered, it felt colder than it had minutes ago.
“Do you need anything?”
She turned to look over her shoulder, loose flakes falling off her shoulder as she gazed over at the girl who had just spoken to her. Kohane blinked, ignoring the way the cold fogged up her glasses. With hesitation, she studied the person in front of her and spoke. “U-uhm, no, I just.. I got lost in thought.”
Kohane nearly cringed at the way her voice wavered unsteadily, unsure of the expression that crossed the other’s face. “Well, what were you thinking about?”
It was phrased as a joke- the causal tone used rung in the air, contrasting her own awkward and unsure voice. The blonde looked down, staring through blurry lenses. “I’m not sure.”
“Well, if it helps..” The ravenette began, though Kohane didn’t bother meeting her gaze. “You could start by telling me why you’re out in the snow alone.”
Anxiety began to swell, forming in her gut as if trying to consume her whole. She somehow found her voice, listening to the way it squeaked and swayed, threatening to give out. “W-well, I was just- I was just thinking-”
That same loneliness found her as her words trailed off, she felt it pounding in her chest, melding with that same dread and stress that swarmed her psyche. She turned her head away, an attempt to hide her expression as her frown deepened. The stranger didn’t deserve to hear a somber rant about the lingering feelings of isolation.
“Hey,” The girl's voice sounded softer, more delicate than it once had. It was as if she were afraid Kohane would break. “It’s cold, why don’t you come inside and get a hot drink? You can’t be very warm in that jacket.”
-
II.
Gifts.
They weren’t a common thing, Kohane never had received a gift for Christmas before. Her parents saw no use to it, and she, for some time, had felt the same. It was the only opinion she had been exposed to, one she had internalized and accepted.
It was another day. Another day she had come to accept as being lonelier than the usual.
“Kohane!”
She heard a voice chirp, and Kohane turned her gaze from the window. The voice- it was An’s, a voice she had come to find comfort in.
“An-chan, you’re a little late..” The blonde attempted to joke, looking back at the piles of glistening snow that had settled on the ground. An had invited her out for coffee, calling it her treat- a gift for the holidays.
Kohane hadn’t understood the custom, though she accepted gratefully, only happy that she’d have someone to spend the day with. It made her feel warmer, warmer than she had the years before, when An found her standing outside of the cafe.
“Yeah, yeah, Kohane.” An rolled her eyes, giving off a playful demeanor despite Kohane’s perpetual anxiety that never seemed to fully leave. “I’m happy you could make it, makes spending the holidays a little less dull.”
Kohane felt her cheeks heat up a bit at the gesture, eyes darting to the stained tint of the wood. She heard An giggle teasingly, the joyful, innocent sound bringing a bashful, yet genuine smile to her face.
“T-thank you for inviting me out, An-chan,” Kohane muttered, ducking down as An ruffled her hair, walking away momentarily to grab their drinks.
The room felt brighter than it once had, and Kohane felt more secure in An’s presence than ever.
“Your latte, my dear guest” An winked, as she offered the drink to Kohane. Grasping the plastic gently, she brought the cup to her lips and took a sip. She smiled at the mild sweet, creamy flavor, savoring it with care.
She felt An’s eyes on her, an attentive and heavy gaze, but comforting all the same. Yet, Kohane kept her eyes towards her drink, letting herself smile faintly at the neat lettering written on the side of the cup. “Hamster”. Kohane let out a soft, timid huff, before looking up at her friend. “An-chan..”
An gave her a small wink, and began to walk around the back of Kohane’s seat. Slowly, she sat down next to the blonde and took a sip from her hot cocoa. Kohane knew the drink by the smell- the sweet chocolate scent reminiscent of comfort. The photographer let herself relax, going back to her drink as well. The silence that followed was cozy, almost secure as it hung heavy between the two. Even despite the idle chatter, though neither paid mind to it, relaxing in each other’s presence.
Kohane perked up, as she heard small coughs from the ravenette beside her. Her eyes darted towards An, who was coughing into one of her hands, the other holding her drink.
A look of worry was quick to develop on Kohane’s face, though An merely smiled and gazed at her with a sheepish, yet teasing grin. “Sorry, I was too busy staring at you to remember to swallow.”
There was nothing to do to hide the momentary blush that crossed her face, only looking away from embarrassment.
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III.
If there was a place Kohane’s anxiety perked up the most, it would always be at someone else’s house.
Ken- An’s dad had accepted her as family, and despite the number of times she had been over at An’s before, she still felt as if she were an intruder. Maybe that was because today was different- the same day in December that seemed to roll around, and the day she had spent with her friend- closest friend, An, for the past few years.
An’s usual excitement and bubbly energy almost multiplied, Kohane wondered if it was because she would be joining An this year in the gift exchange. She had told the blonde it was a tradition she had held with her dad for years.
Kohane had initially wanted to refuse the invite- not knowing what to get An as a gift, and not wanting to intrude on such an intimate tradition between her and her father. Besides, her family didn’t have those same traditions, and she’d already felt awkward- maybe even guilty for allowing An to spend money on her during the holidays. Though An had insisted she join them, and so she did.
Still, she felt out of place standing outside their door, watching as her friend ushered her inside, smiling brightly at her as if just the sight of Kohane made her day infinitely brighter- warmer.
“Jeez Kohane, your hands are cold” An shook her head slightly, as she pulled Kohane along by her hand. She stopped in the living room, nodding her head towards the tree, a multitude of wrapped presents sitting beneath it. “I’ll ask dad to grab us some hot cocoa, you can set your gift down by the tree.”
An ran off shortly after, leaving Kohane to set the small gift bag she was holding down next to the presents that surrounded the tree. She sat down, realizing with slight humiliation that she should’ve gotten Ken a gift as well.
She tried not to let a frown take over her face, slipping off her jacket and folding it neatly by her side, just in time for An to come back around the corner.
The other sat down beside her, studying her expression with care as she began to speak. “Kohane? You seem a little down.”
The question was there- maybe not outright, but it was there. She was asking Kohane for her thoughts, inviting her in for an opportunity to open up. She hadn’t taken that opportunity years ago.
“An-chan,” Kohane looked down at the ground, and she could feel the other watching her carefully. “I-.. I forgot to get Ken a gift.”
She felt a hand on her back, and despite the slight warmth in, and red tint her cheeks had taken, something she’d pass off as from the cold, she gazed at An, who smiled reassuringly. The smile made her feel a little more at ease, as if the swarm of lingering anxiety that followed her wouldn’t swallow her whole.
“It’s alright, Kohane,” An assured, her smile faltering momentarily as she turned to grasp a present that sat close to her, labeled for Ken. “We can say we both got him this.”
Kohane tried not to look ungrateful, though she wasn’t sure if she felt good about lying to Ken- if she felt good about covering up her forgetful nature with dishonesty. She averted her gaze, staring at the delicate pine needles that garnished the tree, reflecting the glistening lights and ornaments, decorations that showed beautifully in the dim lighting. “Are.. you sure?”
An didn’t say anything- Kohane turned to look back at her friend, who sat watching her with a soft gaze. The other moved, hesitation dripping off of every shift as she pulled Kohane in for a hug. “I’m sure.”
Ken came around the corner with mugs of hot cocoa, but for a moment, Kohane forgot all about the gifts, and about the drinks.
-
IV.
Shou taos, or peach buns, always had a certain smell to them, almost fragrant. Kohane could recognize the smell almost immediately, they reminded her of home, when she’d made red bean paste by hand, alongside the dough. Honami had taught her how to make them after learning they were her favorite food.
Kohane peaked into the kitchen, watching An plate the dish. They were typically served to the elderly, a celebration for reaching old age. Today hadn’t been all that special, though An had invited her over to spend Christmas day together. It was their tradition- since the day they had first met.
“An-chan?” Her voice came out, she registered it before she was even aware she spoke. An seemed to jump, pointing the rolling pin she had just been holding at Kohane, a stroke of fear leaving her face as fast as it etched its way on.
“Kohane?” An attempted to hide a stutter, as she gave Kohane a playful pout. Kohane gave an apologetic smile, face shifting to something more bashful as she stepped fully into the kitchen.
“S-sorry, I smelt peach buns,” the blonde let her lips twitch up further, shutting her eyes as she tilted her head slightly. “What’s the occasion?”
An shrugged at her, setting the rolling pin back down on the island. Kohane imagined she must have been embarrassed, seeing the slight blush that warmed the other's cheeks.
“Hinomori-san, she said they were your favorite. I wanted to surprise you for Christmas!” An chirped, though her voice wavered ever so slightly, as if unsure that Kohane would react positively.
Kohane felt her heart swell slightly, a lingering feeling of warmth surrounded her. With a careful, shy movement, she wrapped her arms around An, nuzzling her face into the others shoulder. After a minute, she felt arms against her back, the secure embrace making her feel safer than she had in ages.
“Thank you, An-chan,” Kohane whispered, as she let herself pull away from the hug. She felt An’s gaze, one full of affection. She was sure her own eyes held the same look, a delicate look of fondness.
Kohane stepped back after a minute, a little embarrassed by the close proximity the two shared. Yet, she felt at home all the same. An smiled at her, a gentle blush brushing her cheeks, as she motioned towards the living room.
“I think Dad is waiting for us, let's go open gifts.” An suggested, grasping Kohane’s hand as she nodded.
As she gazed up at the girl who pulled her along, she had only one thought on her mind. The winter didn’t feel so lonely anymore.