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Chapter Text

The summer sun had since set as nothing but darkness engulfed the streets, I'm 28 years old and a teacher, I've been teaching for around 3 years and I thought all was going well I had a loving wife, a big apartment, nice car and me and my wife were considering having a kid...of course that was just the calm before the storm. 

My wife of 8 years, the woman that stuck with me all throughout my high school years recently asked me for a divorce. I didn't know how to react to that. Divorce? Really? After everything? She told me she didn't like her job and didn't like her current life, that she wanted something new and that something new didn't involve me. What could I do? After all this isn't my decision to make so I decided to go through with the divorce, no point staying with someone that didn't want me. Now it's late at night and I'm walking down the dark streets in sorrow with a cigarette in my mouth contemplating all my bad life decisions that got me here and my phone in my hands as I wondered the streets aimlessly.

I was about to enter a convenience store when I walked past a somber sight, a young boy. Sitting on the floor leaned up against the building with headphones on and his head down, he didn't seem to have anything on him aside from his phone and wallet, he has short sort of bushy black hair he was definitely shorter than expected, not to mention he had deep red eyes with skin as pale as snow. he was also wearing minimal clothes resembling that of pyjamas. What was a minor doing out here when it's close to 1 in the morning?

Normally I would simply walk past this as if it was nothing, I'm not gonna intervene with this kids poor decisions but something told me to approach him.

I sat next to him as I took a drag at my cigarette.

"Who are you?" The boy told me sounding annoyed but curious "I'm tenshi Sakamoto and you are?", I was trying to learn much about this kid, maybe I could help him 

"I won't tell you", wow this kid is rude... "And why not?", "You could be a pervert that's gonna hurt me", That caught me off guard I wasn't a pedophile I was just trying to help him but if he doesn't want help that's a him problem 

"Look here kid it's late at night, you should be at home asleep, I know it's your break but school is starting soon, I'm sure your parents are worried, you should go home", I tried to sound as friendly as possible the kid seemed sober so he should be able to get home on his own. "I'm not going home", the kid said stubbornly "and why not?" I'm not welcomed home".

I didn't know how to respond to that, I wasn't gonna pry him open so I simply grabbed his hand and yanked him with me.

"hey let me go!" The boy tired to fight back but I didn't let him. I took him to a 7/11 "what type of drinks do you like?" 'huh? Wait! Stop dragging me!" I finally let go of his hand. "Why did you drag me here!?!" I gave the kid a cold expression but it still had a warm aura "I'm gonna get you something to drink so what do you like?" I flicked his forehead lightly "ow...I like lemon tea" the kid finally told me and I entered the 7/11. I came out with some lemon tea and passed it to him. 

I lit up another cigarette "so kid how old are you?" "I won't tell you" "your a secretive one". We both stood there in silence as the kid drank his tea quietly and I continued smoking my cigarette 

"Hey sir?"..the kid seemed to hesitate before he continued "can I ask a personal question?" I got curious what was he gonna ask? "What age did you lose your virginity?"

...what? 

That caught me off guard why would he ask that? I was a complete stranger at that what was going on in that kids head I needed to know and I needed to know quick but maybe he's asking this cause he has no one to turn to. Maybe he's lonely. Maybe I'm the only one he can talk to so I entertained the idea maybe that was a shitty idea that would bite me in the back in the future but when have I made good decisions? 

"I lost it at 18"

"To who?" 

"To my girlfriend at the time"

"Was she 18 too?"

"Yea we were the same age I couldn't think of doing it with someone older or younger" the kid looked at me weirdly after I said the second line. Why is he looking at me like that? Well whatever well now I'll ask him a question.

"So why are you out here so late?" He asked me a personal question so I am entitled to one as well "oh me and my dad got into an argument...I ran away from home...are you judging me" judging you? No I'm not I have no rights to judge a child. "No I'm not, so you don't have a place to go to?" The boy simply shook his head "well do you want some advice? You don't seem that young so just wait a few more years one day your situation may get better"

The boy simply looked at me, I seriously cannot tell what he's thinking. "What if my situation doesn't get better?" finally he spoke up, "well if your life doesn't get better than once your an adult you can always run away from home for good and then cut contact with all the bad people in your life afterall that's what I did" 

I handed the boy a cigarette "aren't you an adult? You shouldn't be encouraging a young boy to smoke especially since he's underage" I simply chuckled when he said that "I only don't encourage my students to do bad things, after all if I gave my students a cigarette I'd get fired but your not my student so it's fine"

The boy took my cigarette and I lit it up for him "how about I walk you home, just to make sure you don't get into any trouble" I looked into the boys eyes and I can see it glittering, he was stunning, I can see this boy having a beautiful wife in the future maybe even pretty kids. 

"Sir why do you care about me?" That's a good question, why do I care about a random student that doesn't affect me but I decided to just answer truthfully "because you seem like a lonely young boy, I used to be in that situation too, while I'm still lonely now at least I wanna make sure someone else doesn't feel lonely" I ruffled the boys hair as I have him a reassuring smile

Me and the boy ended up going to his place together, I was just planning on dropping him off and going my sperate way and forget about him eventually. We reached his place and I was in awe at how big it was, it was a stunning mansion it suites the boys looks "you have quite a nice house"

"Thanks, my family is rather well off" well clearly. 

"Um sir..."

"Yes?"

"Thank you...for caring about me..."

"Of course I'm just tryna be a good guy"

"I don't think I caught your name the first time what is it again?"

"It's tenshi, tenshi Sakamoto"

"Tenshi...I'll remember it"

I watched as the boy entered his house and waved me goodbye, I probably won't see that kid again so I'll just wish him the best. 

I made my way home and I decided to just focus on my new job, afterall I'm transferring to a different school next week a private school, I wonder what that will entail for me.

Chapter Text

The second semester of the school year arrived, just a week after I met that strange boy I had to go to a highschool filled with pretentious kids with affluent parents and start teaching them Math. Well I decided that I would simply be approachable and funny, I'm a young teacher, these students don't have to know that I'm divorced. I'll be the cool teacher the one that everyone looks up to. 

As I entered the classroom I saw the students fret to their seats as I got ready for the lesson. I wrote my name on the board and began to introduce myself, 

"Hello class, I'm Tenshi Sakamoto . Your new teacher, starting today I will teach you. Any questions, before I start the lesson?"

The class stayed quiet and I heard a few whispers but I have experience, I know how kids can be like so I brushed it off.

Then I felt someone's eyes on me. I looked over and I saw a young boy looking at me, he seemed rather familiar but I couldn't put my mind on it. Why was he so familiar? I don't know, the boy seemed surprised but quickly changed to that of a intrigued expression. Weird, I thought to myself well whatever I was a little surprised. I quickly turned around to the board to write something down.

"Well, lets start with the first lesson: Math."

Some students sighed and others rolled their eyes which was to be expected

After class as I was packing up the boy that was looking at me earlier approached me, he really was familiar but I can't put my finger on it. Before I can say anything he talked first 

"Hello" 

"Oh hello, could I help you with anything?" 

The boy stepped a bit closer with a smirk on his face, seriously what was this boy thinking "do you remember me?"

Do I remember you? Honestly no "no not really" 

"My my how sad, I was the boy you met last week"

I noticed that you look very similar to the boy from last week. The hair style is the same, the height, even the eyes. Then it clicked in my head, the boy I have a cigarette to and walked home is standing right in front of me Gosh what do I say? Well considering I know nothing about him I should get to know him a bit more. 

"Well um nice to see you again, well how old are you if you don't mind me asking?" 

"Why are you worried that you had given a cigarette to an underage boy?" Of course that was what I was worried about, but I couldn't admit it "Haha... No, I'm simply curious. If you are above 18... then it is fine."

"Hmm I'm 17 but I'm turning 18 next year" 

Crap he's a minor..."well then I promise that won't happen again I'll make sure that I won't encourage you to do something so risky ever again" 

There was some silence 

"But why?"

What do you mean why? Your a child that's why. I sighed and tried to find the right words

"It's simply something that students and teachers should not do. We should keep our conversations professional and appropriate. I shouldn't have given you a cigarette and about the question you asked me last week about my virginity that's an intimate conversation a student and teacher simply shouldn't have especially since are still a minor."

"But age is just a number isn't it? I know I'm young but my mind is well beyond my years"

This boy sure is persistent....well I have to shut him down quick before this gets out of hand..."Yes, you may be a very mature person for your age. But this does not change the fact that you are still under 18. As a student, you are still a child in our eyes. That's why it is inappropriate for an adult like me to have such conversations with you. There are certain limits that should not be crossed." I'm still curious why he randomly asked me about my virginity

"So why'd you even ask me about my virginity"

"Hmmm I won't tell you hehe" the boy told me in a very flirty and sarcastic tone. I hated it I wanted answers not flirtatiousness 

"Oh by the way my name is May" the boy stepped closer to me and I started to back away a bit more. I hit the table behind me and I couldn't move further so all I could do was keep getting closer to this child "may sakurajima. I'm the student council president" 

"I see what a lovely name...to be the student council president you must be quite great"

"Of course I am hehe I'm the highest scorer in the school, I'm popular and outgoing and I'm even the president of the fencing club but I never really liked the people in my class I always preferred those older" older? Was he talking about me?

"Hahaha" I gave an awkward laugh "um do you mind backing away...please"

"Why are you so nervous? It's not like anything intimate is happening between us" he's right but I'm still super uncomfortable right now I'm someone that appreciates my personal space but he's all up in that space "Well... you are right. Nothing inappropriate did happen between us, so that is not a problem. But in the end, I'm still your teacher. You're still a minor. We really shouldn't engage in intimate conversations like that. It's simply not appropriate for a student and teacher to discuss such topics."

I tried to knock sense into May. There is indeed a certain limit that I shouldn't cross. 

"You know I wouldn't mind if something did happen between us" May proceeded to smirk at me, is he trying to flirt with me? Well it's not gonna work "May I would mind if something happened your my student and I'm your teacher and that's all we'll ever be. Ok?" There I made it clear to him

I looked at him and I saw his eyes narrow. Was he upset? I seriously cannot read him... "Hey are you upset?"

"No, not all all"

"Uh huh...well school is now over you should really get going home"

"Hm your right hehe I'll see you around"

 May finally backed away from me and I had my personal space again 

"Bye bye, sensei~" I watched as May walked out the classroom 

"Bye bye...May"

I watched May walk out of the classroom.i didn't think I'd see the that boy again...This was certainly a strange situation and it raised so many questions inside my head. Was this really just a student who enjoyed flirting with his teacher? Or is there really something more going on here... Whatever this is, I would certainly see him again some time...May sakurajima an interesting name I hope our next encounter I can make him understand that this is inappropriate...

Chapter Text

As the 24 hours past i couldn't get him out of my mind

May, May, May, thats all that went on my mind he was driving me crazy the more i thought about it the more crazy i went his behavior was messing with me i wish he'd stop i don't know what to do, i could,

A. Try to make him understand what he was doing was wrong

B. Try go ignore it afterall hes a second year he'll graduate next year anyways

C. Push him away and completely stop engaging with him

or D. Report this to the principal and higher ups, though i was heavily trying to avoid this afterall considering he had to run away last time i highly doubt he has a good home life and i don't want his parents to know 

Oh what should i do? I don't know anymore,

As i was walking to class i passed by a familiar face, it was May.

Doesn't he have class right now what is he doing out here is he skipping? I should approach him 

As i walked closer to May he was sitting under a tree relaxed but he should be learning right now not relaxing. "Hey May, why are you skipping class?" May lifted his head up and gave me a cocky smile "hello sensei, i was simply relaxing its just P.E anyways" 

"This still does not change the fact that you should attend your classes. Skipping class, even if it's just for PE, is not allowed. As your teacher I can't allow such behavior." I tried to reprimand him for his poor decisions although...it doesn't seem as though hes budging much he seems as relaxed as ever, damn this kid...

"So what are you gonna do?" He kept his cocky attitude why is he so relaxed? He could get into serious trouble right now.

As my tone shifts a little bit more serious. If you are a teacher and a student is refusing to listen to you, there is only one thing that the teacher can do. With a little bit of frustration in my voice I spoke.

"If you don't want to listen to my words as your teacher, then I'll have to send you to the principal's office and report your behavior. It's the only option I have at the moment. I hope you would understand." This will get him to behave he doesn't want to lose his student council president status does he? 

"Pffp I'm the student council president so you really think the principal would think I'm skipping? I can always make up a believable lie" I let out a little laugh but then i realized what kind of person you were obviously you really don't care what the adults think of you. You always have a way of getting out of trouble. It's a bit frustrating but it is kind of impressive. 

"So what? This does not change the fact that you are still skipping class. Even though you may have a good excuse, it is still inappropriate behaviour for a student."

May got up and stepped closer to me as he whispered in my ear "is it as inappropriate as giving a minor a cigarette and encouraging bad behaviors?" Mays voice ran chills down my spine. Now you're doing it again, reminding me of my foolish decisions I did last week

"Maybe that was a little bit inappropriate. But I had no bad intentions there. We simply got into a very interesting conversation and didn't want to stop." I tried to reason with him but im not sure its working. "Hmm hey sensei, I suggest whatever bad behavior I do you keep your mouth shut" what?

I glares at May. He really seem to love to challenge the authorative figures. Was this again some kind of trap to get me into trouble? This is getting really frustrating

"Is that so? You are telling me, your teacher, to keep my mouth shut regarding your behaviour? What are you implying?"

"I'm implying that if you report me I'll tell the principal that you were getting close with a student" crap...i mean i wasn't talking anything too intimate with him but still I don't wanna risk anything. Fine May Sakurajima you win this time but ill keep an eye on you "fine i won't report you but you have to promise me one thing"

Immediately he seemed to perk up "whats that?" I made a small pause just to make sure that he was listening and paying attention. Once he give me confirmation i continues

"That you will attend your classes. No more skipping school, no matter if it's PE or math class. And that you don't tell anyone about how we met last week, that stays between us." I could hear him snicker "Wahhh sensei your really secretive" he was clearly teasing me...

"This is not about being secretive. It is simply inappropriate behaviour for a teacher and student. You are my student after all. So our conversations and encounters should only happen in this school, within the limits of a teacher and student relationship." 

"Hm fine then I'll agree to those conditions"

I let out a sigh when he finally agree with me. This whole situation was getting a little bit too complicated and i really wants to avoid it getting too far.

"Good, that's all I wanted to hear. I'm glad that you agree with my conditions. Just make sure that you keep your part of the deal and all will be fine."

"You keep your part of the deal too" i noded my head. I was really getting tired of this whole situation. I just wants it to be over with "Yes, I will keep my part of the deal. Just make sure you also hold up yours and we'll be fine."

 "Sensei I hope you know the type of boy you involved yourself with"

Of course I realized that I involved myself with a "difficult" student. This can't just be some normal student. And after everything that happened between the two of us last week, he is now completely fascinated by him and wants to know more about him "You are certainly not the type of boy a teacher should get involved with. You're very stubborn and seem to enjoy challenging authority." Once again he gave a slight chuckle "what an observation" 

I laughed a little bit. He really seem to be enjoying the fact that he is such a "troubled student". This doesn't bother me though. I know how to deal with such challenging students, I has plenty of experience. "Yes indeed, I guess I've been lucky enough to meet such an intriguing student. But this doesn't change the fact that you're a minor and I'm an adult. There is only so much I can engage with you like this."

"Hm but im quite the persistent boy though, I won't let you go so easily"I looked at him,I was trying to figure you out but hes really hard to crack. "I can certainly tell that you're a very persistent boy. You really do not back down easily, huh?"

"I don't back down until i get what i want" I laughed and raised one of my eyebrows "Really? And what exactly do you want? I'm sure you know your boundaries. I am your teacher after all and you are still a minor." May seems to be thinking for a while before speaking up. "Then I expect you to wait till I'm legal though I see no issue with me being a minor now"

I was shocked by what you are saying. He expects me to wait till you're 18? And he sees no issue with him being minor now? How can you not understand how wrong and inappropriate that is? I really didn't know how to reply to him right now.

"Well then I'll get going then" May speaks up with a wide smile. This conversation isn't going anywhere with him. Hes obviously not going to change his mind and keep on insisting on his idea of being an adult now. So I decided that there is nothing more for him to say now.

"Alright, I see there no point in discussing this any further. You're still too young to understand it, it's obvious to me now. You can go now, I'll let you be. Just make sure to attend your classes properly and that nobody finds out that we met last week."

"I'm not that young don't baby me and I promise to be good. Bye bye sensei, I hope you don't forget about me"

My eyes narrow down a little bit. He really is a stubborn student. he insists on being seen and treated as an adult and yet his tone has a little bit of childishness in it when talking to me. Not to mention he has the balls to threaten his teacher. Maybe there is more to this than just being a stubborn student.

"See you around May, I hope you would keep your promise." 

Chapter Text

Most students relax at the canteen during lunch, most will sneak out of school fir lunch, very few have access to the school roof which is why that is the perfect place to relax. As a teacher im constantly bombarded with students left and right and here there would be no one to interrupt me and leave me alone for a while. This whole week all i could think about was May, he clearly has a crush on me and i kept thinking how to stop him I don't wanna date my student but how do i push him away I'll have to see him for the rest of the year how can i push him away from me.

Is what id like to think if it wasn't for the fact a certain bushy haired boy was at the roof as well. No matter where i go i see May i can't escape his face. He had his headphones on and he seemed to be engrossed in his music without a care in the world. I decided to just play around with him for a bit so i approached him from behind with the intent to scare him. As i got closer to scare him i took of his headphones "boo!"

May slowly turned out and he seemed rather calm not fazed at all. Its sort of scary "Looks like you were so absorbed in your music that you didn't even notice your teacher was standing behind you."

"Sorry sorry i just thought i was alone" I laughed a little bit. I find it hilarious how unaware he was. As his teacher it is indeed quite amusing to see how calm he are in these situations "You really didn't see who was standing behind you and took your headphones away? You're really in your own world when listening to your music, huh?"

"So why are you up here?" May asked me innocently "oh i was just here fo relax i thought I'd be alone too, how'd you get access up here anyways?" "Im the student council president i have access to the whole school" well that explains a lot. Since we're already here i think i should have a serious talk with him right now.

"May, we need to have a serious talk" 

"About what?"

"Well, last week after we talked I got a little bit concerned. The way we talk to each other and the moves you make on me made me realize that this whole situation was kind of inappropriate for a teacher and student. So I wanted to clear that up with you." Silence. May didn't utter a single word before he spoke up.

"Is that all?" May stepped closer now we're face to face

I was shocked by his casual reaction."Yes, that's all I wanted to talk to you about. Just keep in mind that this situation was very inappropriate for both of us."

"But what if I weren't your student would it still be inappropriate?"

I was surprised by this sudden question. He really trying to twist it in every possible way. I could see right through him and realized that this was another one of his tricks to get me to agree to engage more with you. But I decided to stand my ground.

"Well, that's a completely different situation, I'll have to admit it. If you weren't my student this would be a completely new situation. What would be the issue then when we're both adults? We would just be two adults hanging out together."

"So if it's ok then why isn't it ok now?"

"Wait let me finish. Well, you're still a minor and there is such a big age gap between us. I hope you can understand that this whole situation is inappropriate for a teacher and student even if you're the one that came to me." There i was being super clear about my boundaries. There would be no way for him to twist my words

"Then i expect for you to wait till im 18"

I freezed when he said that. It did seem like he was trying to trap me but I was so confident that you would never say something so bold as asking him to wait for you until you are 18. "I can't believe you really just asked me that. Do you really expect me to wait for you till you turn 18? You really are a handful, you know that, right?"

"Well I've always dated older people and most of them do not wait for me"

"Don't you find that the even bit weird? Do you seriously find no issue with that?" May was freaking me out now. Hes fated people older when he was younger and found no issue with it? Now i feel like i need to fill in a fatherly role and protect him but i can't do that when hes romantically into me.

"Sensei, don't be mean. I'm already allowing you to wait for me usually I'd try to push you but I like you a lot" 

How can he just say something like this and then keep a straight face as if he just said something normal. This whole conversation is just getting too far. But you know exactly what you're doing 

"Well you're right, I should be glad that you're actually allowing me to wait for you. And since you like me, I can't deny how much you're pushing my buttons right now." I was clearly being sarcastic but it was true that he was pushing my buttons i seriously couldn't tell what he was thinking i couldn't read him at all hes a complete mystery to me 

This is such a unique situation for me as I really just couldn't figure him out. Everything about his behaviour in this situation just made no sense. I can see that he is enjoying this whole situation a little bit too much and it's becoming harder to control him and not engage more with him* 

"Why are you even being so casual about all of this? Most students would be totally embarrassed to talk about such topics with their teacher." 

"Hm is that so? So you don't wanna date me?" What. Of course i don't wanna date him why is he so persistent. "Of course not, and thats the truth i don't wanna date you." "why not?" Isn't it obvious why not? "Because your my student. Even if you become an adult ill never date you. You are too young for me im 28 your 17 you should date someone your age" 

May narrowed his eyes "so sensei doesn't like me?" He were definitely disappointed by that answer. To be rejected by me like this was certainly something he didn't expect. But he know that I was telling the truth.And I know that he will not accept being that easily rejected by him. 

"Really is that so? I find that very hard to believe. You want me to believe that the young, handsome and talented teacher Tenshi Sakamoto doesn't like the cute, beautiful and star student who just confessed to him.Isn't that right? Sensei~?" 

There it was again. The cute and playful tone you always used when addressing mr. He really is a difficult student to deal with.he knows how to play with my weaknesses. It's really frustrating "Well then answer me this: Did you really think that the popular, handsome and talented teacher would agree so easily to date his much younger student?" As May started to laugh out loud he asked me a question "Pffp hahaha maybe yes afterall don't all grown ups like younger boys?"

May could see that this whole situation is starting to get to me.he is able to play with my emotions so easily just by being playful. The way he responded actually made me stop and think about my answer. I was just surprised by how blunt he was being right now "Oh please, I don't know where you're getting this idea from but most grown-ups don't like younger boys. Especially not when they're their own student. You really would just say any silly thing to make me lose my cool, right?" 

"They don't?" May seemed genuinely confused 

He's actually getting under my skin with these questions. In a way you're indirectly making me question my own morals when it comes to dating. But I knew that this is definitely a big lie and I would never actually date a minor "Yeah they don't. So you don't have to try anymore. I don't date minors, even if they're just months away from turning 18. This whole thing was just too inappropriate and I can't even believe you even tried to suggest such a thing."

then the school bell rung "ah I have class"

"That's it. The bell went off which means you need to go back to class now. You would obviously not have enough time to argue with him anymore." "Uh well Time sure is going by fast. I guess you should probably go back to class now. But I hope that I was able to clear things up with you today."

"Sensei please consider my confession seriously" i felt May grabbed my hand and placing it on his chest "please" i jerked up trying to get away my and. With the way his voice had a plead i had my guard up. I do not wanna touch a minor let alone a minor thats my student 

that was a completely unexpected move. i never expected him to make a move like that. He were trying to send me a message with that one and I know it. But I wasn't about to give in to him so easily "May, I really don't know what you're trying to do by doing this. But you really should stop trying to get my attention in such inappropriate ways. You should not do this as a minor towards your teacher."

"Even if I love the teacher?"

His confession got him thinking. Is this really true? He really does love me or it is just my looks that hes infatuated with? Im just a teacher to him, nothing more. But he seem to be feeling more and more for me as time goes by "Do you really love me or is it just your infatuation for me that makes you feel like this? You should not just blindly say things that you don't really mean. You are in love with a teacher that could land in jail for a relationship like this. You're being too nonchalant here." May looked down clearly upset. The sudden change in his mood really does make it harder for me not to feel sorry for him. He was being very flirty and playful before and now hes completely silent and not looking at him directly into the eyes. Why did he have to change it all suddenly? He knew exactly how much this would effect me

"Can we at least stay close!"

He kept pulling on my heartstrings with such subtle yet very emotional lines. I can definitely tell that he's not lying that he indeed are having strong feelings for me and he did a really good job in making me feel bad for him and he know it. I can't keep up with how you're making me feel so confused and frustrated at the same time "Well we can stay close. But remember what I said before."

"Of course i will!" May kept my hand firm on his chest. Oh no, that definitely wasn't the correct thing to do. Keeping my hand firmly on his chest could have multiple meanings. We both know what they are but he didn't seem to mind taking the risk "Now don't you dare think that keeping my hand on your chest means anything. You should just go back to class now. Don't make me repeat myself any more times than I already have to. It's time for class and you need to stop being so affectionate with your teacher."

"Yes sensei..." May looked down and upset once again he's making it so difficult for me to just brush him off. It seems like he's on the verge of being very sad and about to shed a few tears. That's definitely not normal as a minor. No student should feel this way in just a few minutes of getting rejected by their teacher. But what happened to him being a playful and flirty student? Why is he suddenly sad and down?

"Well the bye bye sensei! I have class now!" Now that sadness is gone and he sounds as happy as ever not a single bad emotion in sight it was truly confusing. He really was a mess of emotions. Just a few minutes ago he was so flirty and playful and now all of a sudden he's acting as the innocent and kind student you claim to be. He really is are a mystery and I really can't just brush you off that easily. It was just so hard to get a read on him and I was still thinking about that hand on his chest. I wanted to know why you kept my hand there but you were already out the door. Well I'll just talk to him again the next time i saw him 

Little did May and Tenshi know someone was eves dropping on everything and that someone would enter and change their situation for better or for worse 

Chapter Text

"ah crap i left my wallet" i muttered to myself as I made my way to the school roof

When i reached the roof as i was about to open the door i saw 2 people talking, it was the new teacher Tenshi and the most popular boy in school May, honestly maybe it was a bad idea of me to do so but i tried to eves drop on their conversation. Although I couldn't really hear much I saw a wide eyed sight, Tenshi seems to be groping May! He was a teacher and he's groping his student, especially since he's a male student and May seems quite responsive to it. I stood there in shock I didn't know what to do

As I quickly grabbed my wallet and left trying not to be noticed. May had exited the roof and walked past me instead of being shocked he simply gave me a sweet smile. He knows that I saw what happened...that certainly was strange I have to bring this up to the school, I mean what was this supposed to mean? Or...i had a more devious idea I could blackmail May, afterall as the student council president he probably has a lots of perks maybe I could have some perks of myself. Right tomorrow I will initiate the plan.

The next day

The next day roles around decently quick 

May was a third year so I took a flight of stairs and entered his class of 2-1, lucky for me May was all alone at his desk staring blankly at the chalkboard listening to music. I grabbed a chair and took a seat opposite to him as i looked him dead in the eyes with a sly grin

"Yo I'm-"

"I know who you are" 

May had that same smug smile as usual. Did he really know me? Well that makes everything 10 times easier for me then. "Then who am I?"

"Your Rei Sakuma from class 1-3, hm I know all about you, your the school bad boy the type to smoke, drink, i bet your not a virgin too hehe but you are quite popular with girls, i guess at the end of the day everyone likes the bad boys" what was he blabbering about? what was the reason of telling me all of this? "So you know a lot about me huh? Yea I'm Rei"

"Well then let me keep it brief Rei-kun, what may your business be with me?" Straight to the point huh? Well I mind "i saw you and Tenshi-sensei at the school roof yesterday, he was groping you and all" lets see how he gets out of this one

"Eh really? Then let me ask you how does that concern you? I highly doubt you are bringing this up to tell me that my relationship was inappropriate so tell me truthfully, what do you want exactly?" He was looking at me straight in the eyes with a smug smile, crap he was sharp there is no getting out of this one I'm in too deep "well then lets make a deal, I'll let you and tenshi keep up with your relationship, in the condition you give me all the perks of being the student council president senpai~" there I'm straight and clear about what i want

"First of all senpai is too formal I'd prefer you just called me May" 

"Then May-san what do you say to my deal?" 

"Second of all tell me exactly what those student council perks were?" Was he really wasting my time right now? Whatever I'll entertain it for now "i want access to all the restricted parts of the school, I wanna make major school decisions like its rules and shit and most of all i want complete control over you May-san" there I'm making my conditions really clear 

"Hm and what if I rejected the over?" Was he really asking that? I mean what choice does he have? He could risk losing any sort of respect he'd have and Tenshi would probably end up in jail what is he thinking i thought he was smarter than this. "well if you reject I'll tell the whole school that you are dating a teacher" there. May Sakurajima I have you backed in a corner right now 

"First of all me and Sensei aren't dating, simply it's a one-sided crush…for now. but"

But what?

"But would your loving hard working parents want to know their only son is doing drugs?"

What? What is he talking about? "What do you mean"

"Your parents, work day and night for you to have food and money on the table, they even bought you a home near your house so that your closer to school. you always get money and yet you spend it on drugs and alcohol, how would your parents feel if they knew their only son was living this life? Worse, when the teachers find out you'd get expelled and when that happens you're life would be ruined and your parents would disown you" May wasn't breaking eye contact at all, how did he know so much about my life? Where did he get all this information...this is getting scary "what are you saying May-san...?" 

"What I'm saying is tell people my secret and the whole world would know yours rei-kun" there he is...there is the May that was smart enough to turn any situation on its head it was frustrating yet endearing me? "Are you blackmailing me back?" 

"I'm simply dishing out what you gave me, infact your secret would cause more issues for you than my secret would for me so lets make a new deal, you keep your mouth shut and I'll keep mine shut" crap this isn't how i imagined this conversation would go, i had no choice but to agree "fine you have a deal" i watched as May got up

"Well then thats settled good bye Rei-kun although... I feel like we'll see each other a lot more after today" I watched as May left the classroom, he was right, I'd see him much more even after this I need to know what's his deal, what's his relationship with Tenshi, what is his motivation for everything and more importantly why he never seemed to show any genuine emotions...I needed to know.

…

The next day as the students entered school I looked over at May who was wearing his AirPods and walking straight to class not talking to anyone, I turned my attention to my friend.

”oi, May-san is always alone you know? Why is that, I thought he’s popular,” I said out loud as my friend looked back at me, “Sakurajima-senpai? you’re not thinking of asking him out are you?” I rolled my eyes at that, “hardly, I’m just curious why he’s always alone,” 

my friend thought about it, “well it is surprising, his father is a big shot, the Sakurajima name holds a lot of value, not to mention he has a famous mother too, it’s not like he’s friendless he has a few people he does hang out with but if you asked me it seems rather surface level. You know Rei, if you score a date with him you should totally take it!”  
I immediately shot down the idea, “no way, just curious about him that’s all,” 

I know i was just a stupid delinquent bad boy that never tried but with May i wanted to try my hardest to understand him.

Chapter Text

As the days have past with me and May,  September comes to an end i found myself running into May more and more. May Sakurajima, the embodiment of perfection. His skin pale and porcelain without a single blemish just his ever so slightly rosy cheeks, plump pink lips that everyone wanted to feel on their own, his eyes round doe that of a deer but the iris was a bloodshot red colour, hair jet black, slightly longer than the average boys hair as it draped ever so slightly over his eyes, it was a little bushy but it looked soft and silky smooth, his uniform shears perfectly ironed out without a single wrinkle, his tie straight, a bright cardigan worn ontop, his pants nicely fitted. May was always 1st, his position never dropping, always a friendly smile and a friendly Aura that’s approachable and loveable, I’ve never seen him even crack a frown, let alone have a blank expression. But now the perfect boy wasn’t so perfect with me. May had been keeping tabs of me just Incase I spill the beans, just a week ago i was a normal highschool boy and now i have involved myself with the psycho student council president that will end me if i even look like I'm gonna tell someone what happened, its like I'm walking on eggshells around him.

As I was lost in my thoughts I saw May in the canteen with his friends, he looked so happy, so full of life yet there was a dead look to him, he looked as though everything was an act he never showed any genuine emotion, ever. 

As I was walking past them i heard his voice "rei-kun!" I turned my head around "yes? May-san." "I don't have enough money can you lend me a bit?" I simply shook my head and gave him a bit of my cash its not like i was gonna use it. All of Mays friends were shocked by this, afterall I'm the kid that doesn't like to talk to anyone at school, the type to laugh at people without lunch money and yet here I am helping out this senior boy. A senior boy that means nothing to me, I'm only being thus nice so that he keeps his mouth shut, thats all our relationship is, we make sure neither of us spill the beans and we do favors as a bargain.

"Hey, May-san i wanna talk to you. I watched as May bought himself some strawberry milk "about what?" "Stuff..."

Me and May started to walk around the halls 

"May-san be super honest right now whats your relationship with Tenshi-sensei" i was hoping for an honest answer, their whole relationship has been weirding me out and i wanted to know exactly, i wanted to be told that they weren't dating. I wanted to be told that a teacher wasn't fucking his student, the mere thought made me want to throw up and i simply needed some more context 

“hmm we aren’t dating” well that’s good “but” but what?

 “i love sensei”

what? excuse me? love him? “but why? why him what about him?” 

“i mean what’s not to like, he’s handsome, he’s young, he’s nice.” “but what about his personality?” i need clearer answer “what?”May seemed surprised “i’m being serious what about his personality what do you like about his personality?” i asked him out of genuine curiosity 

“well he’s caring and-“ “stop” i cut him off from continue talking before continuing “those are all general interests i want a real reason, why do you actually like him? was there a certain reason? come on. speak up!” 

just as May was about to speak up tenshi had walked by and any sort of attention May had given me had since been transferred onto the young teacher and the older male teacher walking next to tenshi Miya-sensei, sure miya-sensei was in his 30s but man did he look good I looked back at May who was fuming with jealousy and rage, i could see his eye brows borrow as he stared at the sight as if it was the most desdainful thing he has whitenessed. As i was planning on walking away with May to continue our conversation he instead ran off and went to Tenshi, while I stood there staring like an idiot, as i simply scowled and walked off

**Tenshis pov**

"Miya-san the classroom is this way-" I quickly got cut off by someone calling my name. As i looked around I realized the call came from none other than the boy that was head over heels for me for no reason, "senseiii!!!" I watched as he ran over to me "yes May? What do you need? I'm sort of busy"

May quickly hugged my arm. I was confused why was he hugging my arm like that? Miya-san might get the wrong impression of us "um could you let go of me?" Mays grip just got tighter. "Sensei i need help with something, it’s super duper important!" I was gonna say no, however...if i said no Miya-san would think I'm a bad teacher so i simply obliged "fine then" I watched as May gave Miya-san a death glare almost a threatening stare telling him to get away from the thing that belongs to him. I felt as though May was gonna speak up so I ushered him to a corner far away from the other students and staff at this school. 

"Ok May what is your deal now?" I asked bluntly I wasn't gonna beat around the bush, not now at least "I didn't like how Miya-san was was talking to you, hes clearly flirting with you!" Is that really his problem right now? "And why is that an issue?" "Because he’s gonna steal you away from me!" I simply sighed "look here May, we aren't a thing" "not yet, Please tell me you like me better than Miya" May got more and more agitated as if to desperately plea and convince me to stay with him, as if he knew he didn't have a chance, as if he was feeling jealous, a side of May I've never seen and I didn't think I would it was surprising. "Are you perhaps jealous?" May went silent a little too silent it was out of character for him. When I was gonna speak out May opened his mouth first 

"Yes, I'm jealous"

I didn't expect him to actually admit it "but why?" "Cause I know I have no chance" May got closer rested his head on my chest and gripped onto the sides of my shirt "i know I'll never have you" his former confident and playful self was replaced with desperation "we've only known each other for a month, why do you even like me?" May looked up and stared at me "I don't know why, I have no reason to like you, but i just do" I don't know what to say to that, he clearly wants me but i don't, i feel pity for him.

May finally let go of me "wahhh sorry sensei I didn't mean to do that teehee, forgive me?" I wanted to comfort him snd tell him everything will be ok, he's clearly hurt but by what, i don't know. I reached out and ruffled his hair as I gave him a welcoming smile "don't worry about it, your one of my dearest students, I'll never hate you" I saw as Mays cheeks flushed a bright red a stunning colour that suited him "by the way you keep hanging out with that kid what was his name? Rei sakuma? I heard he's bad news, you should stay away from him" May simply shook his head still having that blush on his face "he's not that bad..." Pffp its quite cute, I would love if he were my son, if he were my son he would be taking such good care of him right now "and by the way I like you more than Miya-san" I said the honest truth and that made May get more flustered it was adorable.

"I'll go to my class now..." Hehe he really is cute "Ok May see ya around!" "See ya" as May was about to walk off with still some pink hues on his cheeks he turned around and faced me he put a finger on his lips and smiled "don't tell anyone about this. Ok?" There was his usual playful self. "Yea I won't"

May laughed and walked off, as he was doing that he muttered something under his breathe, but i couldn't exactly hear it clearly

"Sensei, don't give me false hope."

Chapter Text

The streets would be pitch black if it weren't for the minimal street lamps lit up, I was walking down the streets with a cigarette in my mouth, I've mostly forgotten about the events that occured nearly a month ago it's now May. May the name of the troubled boy that's in love with me, the name of the boy that was desperately trying to get my affection, the name of the boy that has been avoiding me for a month. Since the last incident of him getting jealous that I was with another guy He's been getting rather worked up. He's been avoiding me in favor of talking to the school bad boy Rei. Though I don't mind that he isn't pushing himself on me as much, I do mind that he completely ignores me instead of trying to work on his issues. He clearly needs help yet it he is now allowing me to help me, he'd rather live in his own lies then let an adult guide him. Then again I can't blame him a teenage boy would rather run away than face his problems head on and all I can do is wait for him to feel comfortable to tackle those problems.

As I was walking down the streets with a cigarette in my mouth I heard some faint cries in the background "hey! Let go of me!", I thought I was just hearing things so I kept walking but I kept hearing it over and over again "I said let go of me!", Ok I can't ignore it now I ran to where I heard the voice and there I saw my beloved student May Sakurajima being forcefully dragged by a much older guy, May was putting up a good fight but he was quite small compared the man that would be 80kg at the minimum. May is my student I won't let him get hurt, at least not on my watch. I approached May and the man and yanked May away from the man.

"What are you doing with this young boy?", the man seemed to immediately tense up and couldn't say anything. The only thing I heard was Mays light call for my name "sensei...", I looked back at the man "you know he's underage right? And yet you still want to fool around with him?", the man finally spoke up "come on he was at a club, why wouldn't he be there other than for sex!", wait...did he just say club, why was May at a club? A million different questions ran through my mind as I held May close, I could smell that he reeked of alcohol and Maybe a stumbling his steps a bit he was clearly a bit drunk. "You know this young boy is my student and of you don't leave I'll call the police on you!", soon enough the man scurried away and it was just me and May

I took him to a park and I threw away the cigarette and I looked inside my bag to find a drink as I handed it to May "here this would help you sober up". I took a proper look at May for the first time and observed his outfit and I will say it was quite scandalous, a tight fitted black tank top with low rise black shorts, some black tights and a mini fur coat to top it off, definitely too risky for a high school boy to wear, especially the student council president who was supposed to be setting an example for his schoolmates. 

I had him sit on the swing and I stood in front of him. Finally May spoke up

"Thank you...", he gave me a very weak thanks

"No problem..." There was some silence and I finally asked the question "so why were you at a club anyways?", I could see him tense up "no particular reason, I just like to go on my free time", "but why?", I was going to keep pressing him for answers "because I like the attention", "but why?", May finally looked up "why not?", I know he was purposely avoiding the question but I wasn't going to keep pressing him after all it might be quite personal. 

"Hey sensei", I wonder what he's thinking "this reminds me of when we first met?", Oh? "What do you mean?", I was quite curious on where this conversation was going "when we met I was going to run in front of a car to end my life but you came by and stopped me from doing that, your name is tenshi, that means angel you know? It's quite fitting cause your the angel that saved my life", and like that May just dropped the biggest bombshell on me. Me? Save his life? I didn't know how to respond to that.

"Haha really? That's nice...is that why you fell in love with me?", I needed to know answers "that and also you gave me attention, you gave me attention and care I never got from other people, you showed me that I am in fact lovable.", he never got attention in care? Then a thought hit me. "You don't have a good home life do you?", it was obvious that he was hurting and I needed to know why "maybe, but does that matter? I just really like attention", that explains a lot as to why he fell for me so easily, that's probably why he goes to clubs too, to get the attention he never got from his life and who knows maybe he strives to be prefect at everything so that he can get the attention and validation of other people. I didn't want to make assumptions and this topic was getting rather personal so I quickly changed it to something else.

"So May, you said this remind you of when we met", "yes what about that", "well I've been thinking, why'd you ask me if I'm a virgin or not?", 

"Ah that, it’s for me to know and did you to find out sensei, though I will say I’m not a virgin, haven’t been one for a while. I was merely curious when was a good age to lose ones virginity", wow...I didn't know he was sexually active, he looked like a good Cristian boy but he drinks, smoked and he's not a virgin "so how old were you when you lost your virginity?", May was thinking for a bit "15", I was a little shocked by the answer "isn't that a bit young?", "that's what my dad thought as well so he got mad at me and yelled at me but I'm quite mature for my age don't you think" well yes, May is mature but he is still a child. "Who did you lose it to?", "my boyfriend at the time", ok good at least he lost it to someone he knew and trusted. I checked the phone, it was 2am "wow it's quite late, your quite drunk as well, how about I walk you home? Wouldn't want creeps coming after you", I was genuinely concerned about May and I didn't want him hurt so I offered to walk him home "mhm that seems fine". I walked him to his place silently, dropped him off and waved him goodbye, the same as I did when me and May first met

As the weekends ended school started again and I was walking to school. As I was minding my business a certain dark haired boy wrapped his body around my arms. "Senseiii!!! Let's walk to school together!", I chuckled, though I don't like how he pushed himself on me, I'd rather he didn't try to get me to date him I would rather this than have him ignore me, "yes yes, let's walk to school together",

Though, as we walked I felt someone watching us, I ignored it thinking ot was just my imagination not knowing it was Rei watching me and May from afar listening to our conversation.

Chapter Text

Once again school has been going on as usual nothing note worthy, May is still pestering me but he's not making direct advances at me. In fact when we are in school he keeps things on the low-key, he's been treating me as any another student would to their teacher. I've seen him go out with his friends more and he even seems to smile more, I've seen him lay his head on Rei and been super close to Rei, maybe there was something blossoming between them, something romantic, maybe he was over me. Is what I would like to say, yes he wasn't that lovey dovey with me in school, but that's in school outside school....someway somehow May coerced me to give him my phone number. 

"hey sensei, i've been having some trouble with math, can I have your number so you know...I can ask for studies," man I cant belive i fell for the blatant lie. obviously he only wanted my number to get closer to me.

May has been texting me everyday, even more than my ex-wife asking me to return back her cat (that cat likes me more than he has her), may always texts me about his day, ranting and even just blabbering about god knows what. Don't get me wrong I'm happy my student trusts me, but some of the things he tells me are just unnecessary, he keeps sending me selfies and I feel obligated to send him one back. I don't even know why I do this, I have no reason to do this, sure I gave May a cigarette but I'm pretty sure I would get into more trouble for sending selfies to a student, going on a date with him, getting close and touchy with him, honestly may has nothing that could possibly make me indebted to him, and yet I can't brush him off.

I was in the teachers lounge with a few of my colleagues when they started talking, "you know, kids these days are always throwing parties, always doing drugs and drinking and coming back to school all sluggish. It's so difficult trying to teach students like this! We are supposed to be one of the top schools in the country, and yet our students are going out doing god knows what". I looked over at miya, we have gotten closer these days, we sit next to each other in the staff room and our classes are near each other, plus we have a similar schedule, honestly he’s the closest one to a friend I have in this school. I watched as Miya spoke up, "well they are still teenagers, as long as they aren't hurt they should still have fun!". Miya is always a voice of reason! "Our job as teachers is to make sure that no one gets hurt, if a student doesn't get hurt in the party we should step in!", I thought about that for a while, if May was in these parties I'd definitely step in for him, no I wouldn't want him attend these parties in the first place. 

It was later at night at around 9pm and I was laying on bed using my phone getting ready to sleep when I got a text message from May.

>May: "sensei are you awake?" Ah there he goes again texting me whenever he feels like

>Tenshi: "May, we talked about this, you can't text me late at night"

>May: "oh whatever, what are you doing?"

>Tenshi: "I'm getting ready to sleep, you?"

>May: "I'm going to a party."

Ah there it is, the very thing I was hoping wouldn't happen, but as long as he doesn't get hurt I shouldn't stop him from enjoying my teen years. As I was thinking what to say next May sent me a picture, it was his outfit, we was wearing a black off shoulder top with some jeans and a shiny studded belt.

>Tenshi: "it looks good on you."

>May: "doesn't it! Well I'll get going now!"

>Tenshi: ah...make sure you stay safe, ok? If you are in trouble text me"

>May: "alrighty, text you later, bye bye!"

>Tenshi: "bye bye"

I turned off my phone and closed my eyes thinking everything was going to be ok, I eam why was I worrying? May is a strong boy! He'll be fine! I just know it.

I kept telling myself that May will be ok but I just can't help but worry, I ended up staying up late all night instead of going to sleep, I was worried, I didn't know what would happen to him it was now 12.34am, I thought I was over reacting until I kept getting text messages from May, crap was he in trouble??

>May: "mhhh senseiiiiii"

>Tenshi: "May? What's wrong? Everything okay?"

>May: "senseeiiii I missyou" his words are slushy and messed up..

>Tenshi: "May, do you need me to come over?"

>May: "hmmm whyyyy, heheheh sensieiii I loveee uouuejej" his words are getting incomprehensible by the second, I was getting worried

>Tenshi: "May, where are you?"

>May "ermmm someone's houseee ...I think!

>Tenshi: "May, tell me whose house it is. Now"

>May: "ermmm some kid named yuki matsu smh? I don't remember"

>May: "ohhh some guys cameover I'll gonowbyebye senseiiiiiiu"

>Tenshi "may? May? Where did you go"

>Tenshi: "May please answer"

>Tenshi: "MAY I swear to god answer?"

>Tenshi; "I'm coming over to get you"

I started to worry even more on where May could have possibly gone, I decided to leave the house then and there to go pick him up, I opened my files and I found the address of the kid hosting the party, I immediately got into my car and drove there without a second thought, I wasn't about to let my student get hurt.

I finally reached there after a few minutes and I exited my car and walked closer to the party as I heard some shouting from not so far away "GET YOUR FILTHY FUCKING HANDS OFF HIM," I turned around in shock, there I saw Rei Sakuma holding what seems to be an unconscious May and a bunch of other school mates attempting to grab May and hitting Rei. The closer I got the more scars and injuries I saw on Rei, including a black eye. 

Immediately rushed over, "hey, what's going on over here!" Upon seeing me the 5 boys scrambled away only leaving an unconscious May and an injured Rei. As I went and scooped up May into my hands carrying him bridal style I smelt alcohol on him, was he drinking? I'll make sure to give him a lecture on it when he's conscious "what happened here?" Rei looked at me and spoke up "May-san was drinking and those guys over there drugged his drink and then well...attempted to rape him", what the actual fuck, I listened as Rei kept talking "I saw what happened so obviously before anything more can happen i grabbed May, but they started getting violent with me, I managed to drag May out the party but God knows what would have happened if you hadn't arrived, thank you Tenshi-sensei", wow a lot happened thank God I followed my instincts "well whatever, do you know where May lives?" I asked rei and he simply shook his head "well, can I take him to your place?" "Yea sure that's fine by me, sensei" 

I placed may in the backseat as he slept peacefully and I sat at the driver's seat with Rei sitting next to me in the passengers seat and I watched as Rei added his address in the GPS and we were off. Eventually we reached Reis place, a small but cozy apartment, it was an awkward ride since Rei didn't talk much but the focus right now is May. I carried May and took him into Reis room and laid him on Reis bed "where are your parents?", I asked "oh I live alone", that surprised me a bit, he's still in highschool "oh? Why, if you don't mind me asking of course", "nothing bad of course, they just wanted me to live nearer to school", as that made sense but that had me thinking, there is no one to supervise him what if he harms May? "are you sure I can trust you with May?" I asked Rei "why? You think I'll rape him? Geez if I wanted to rape him I would have joined the other guys not save his life and get this injured", right, that is a fair point, speaking of his injuries they are quite bad..."hey Rei do you have a first aid kit?", "yea why?", "can I borrow it?".

Rei was a bit confused at first and gave it to me, then I sat Rei down and treated this wounds, "this might sting a bit", Rei was a bit surprised but he nodded and just sat quietly as I treated his wounds "you know you may have a bad reputation but your actually good kid, thank you for taking care of May", Rei was silent before speaking up "I'm mostly doing all this cause I'm curious about him", what did he mean by that? I waited for Rei to continue"I mean he's super mysterious, I thought by getting closer to him I could know more about him, I guess it started of when I saw you and him on the roof together and you groped his chest, at first I thought you guys were romantically involved, now I realize it was simply one-sided for May", ah shit I didn't think I'd hear about that again "you saw us on the roof?", "yea but don't worry, my lips are sealed", oh thank God "thank you", "it's whatever", I let out a soft chuckle

After I finished patching him up I got up "well I'll go now", "yes, bye tenshi-sensei", I looked at him with a genuine smile "make sure to take care of May, and also treat your wounds", Rei smiled at me back "will do, sensei", with that I left the apartment. I closed the doors and looked back at it praying for Mays safety and I guess in extension...Reis as well as I made my way back to the car and went home. 

Chapter Text

Reis P.O.V

I remember hearing that there was a party that day, I wasn’t really planning on going but some of my friends insisted that I go so I caved. I didn’t think much would happen except for drunk kids and maybe some annoying couple hooking up in one of the bedrooms, but that’s just what comes with these type of party’s.

I entered the party not thinking much, my game plan was just, drink, avoid all the girls, go home. A very clear and straightforward plan, I’m here for a good time, even if I do drugs I’m not going to risk doing that so publicly where people can take advantage of my high state. That’s something I do in private.

I looked around and started talking to my friends as I noticed something, May was at the party too, at first I didn’t think too much of it considering how May does go to his fair share of parties, but I was getting concerned over how much he was drinking at the party, he was getting offered drinks left and right by his friends, almost enabling his alcoholism and instead of saying no May drinks down every single drink, I didn’t think this was too much of a problem, even if he was getting visibly drunk as long as he had a safe way back home who am I to judge.

As I watched him closer, May sat down and started texting on his phone, I was under the assumption he was texting someone to pick him up, I decided to walk off with my friends, he was surrounded by people and his friends, what do I have to worry about? How foolish was I to be under that assumption of false hope.

As I returned to that same spot, a guy had placed something in Mays drink, after he drank it he was being surrounded and even ganged up by 5 guys, all significantly bigger, they were all seniors, they started touching him all over inappropriately, I’m not one to kink-shame, if May wanted to have a gangbang more power to him but he was clearly passed out, clearly so out of it, he could barely speak and these significantly bigger men were started to manhandle him and carry him out. This is too far, none of Mays “friends” were helping him they just ignored the fact that their friend was probably going to get raped, it was sickening, I ended up stepping in and grabbing May.

“What the fuck are you doing with him?” I pulled May towards me and I let him rest on my chest. “Oh come on we just came to have some fun, you’re a man, you’d understand, we just wanted to relieve our urges”, one of the guys told me. I continued to pull May out of the party ignoring the guys. They kept yelling at me to come back some even trying to grab May but I kept ignoring them and I stepped outside. Honestly I didn’t know what was my game plan, but whatever it is all I knew was that I needed to get May out of there. Eventually as I got out I grabbed my phone and as I was going to call for an Uber one of the guys slapped my phone out of my hand and stepped on it. “Dude what the fuck!”, I yelled out before the guys started pushing me around, I kept a tight grip on May but I was caught of guard when one of the guys punched me straight on my left eye. I stumbled back and the guys took the opportunity and grabbed May. As I saw this I yelled out “GET YOUR FILTHY FUCKING HANDS OFF HIM”.

As I said that someone immediately rushed towards us, that someone was Tenshi-sensei, as he stepped closer he yelled out "hey, what's going on over here!" Upon seeing him the 5 boys scrambled away only leaving an unconscious May and an injured me. I was shocked I didn’t think he’d actually come, how did he even in that there would be a party over here? Tenshi got closer and he scooped May up in a bridal style, they really looked good together.

"what happened here?"I looked at Tenshi and spoke up "May-san was drinking and those guys over there drugged his drink and then well...attempted to rape him", I looked up to Tenshis disgusted expression"I saw what happened so obviously before anything more could happen i grabbed May, but they started getting violent with me, I managed to drag May out the party but God knows what would have happened if you hadn't arrived, thank you Tenshi-sensei”, tenshi let out a sigh before he replied "well whatever, do you know where May lives?" I simply shook my head "well, can I take him to your place?" "Yea sure that's fine by me, sensei".

We got into his car and it was an awkward car ride back to my place to say the least, he had basically nothing to talk about, we just sat at the front seat’s awkwardly as May was knocked out unconscious at the back. I decided to break the awkward silence and finally speak up “so how did you even know to come here?”, I waited for his answer “may texted me earlier so I got worried and drove here quick”. I listened to Tenshi as I looked back to look at his nicely cut and kept brown hair, well that both explains how he knew to come here and who he was texting in the party.

Tenshi Sakamoto, his hair was nicely kept yet stylish, his eyes brown, he had a stern authoritarian look, yet he was somehow gentle and had a soft look. I can see how May liked him, this was his type, a man that can take care of him and provide but would still care and be gentle with him 

Eventually we reached my apartment, Tenshi dropped May off on my bed, I was expecting him to leave straight away but instead he stayed and started talking to me, asking my living situation, something something worried I might Harm May, honestly I wasn’t really paying attention but then he offered to fix up my wounds, that stood out to me, though I was hesitant I let him fix me up, "you know you may have a bad reputation but your actually good kid, thank you for taking care of May", tenshi told me those exact words she used was surprised, that was the first nice thing someone from that school ever told me…it was nice. Finally once tenshi was dine I waved him goodbye and u was left with a sleeping May on my bed, I just quietly laid next to him and watch him sleep now sort of understanding his deep love for Tenshi.

By this point it was 2am, I couldn’t really sleep after all, I was too busy making sure May was comfortable. Eventually May did wake up “owe my head hurts”. I watched as he slowly got up holding his hand on his head. “Ah, wait let me get you some water”, I went to my fridge and I grabbed some water from my fridge and I handed it to him. “Thank you”. May took the water, “where am I anyways?”, “you’re at my place”, May drank the water and took some time to think before he threw a pillow at me “pervert!” Where the hell did that come from. “What the fuck was that for!?!”, I was genuinely confused “you clearly saw how drunk I was and took me to your place to take advantage of me!” Ok that’s not how it went at all “hey listen-!”, “I’m not listening-!”, May cut himself off as he got closer and caressed my cheek “you have a lot of bruises on your face, and a black eye, what the fuck happened”, I looked into Mays eyes, “that’s what the fuck I’ve been trying to explain, ok look the tldr is that you got drugged and almost got raped by a bunch of guys, I tired to save your ass, they beat me up, tenshi came to save us, he took us to my place that’s where you are now”, I looked at the shock in Mays face.

“I got drugged? And almost raped?”, I looked at him concerned “yes, and you should press charges”, Mays expression soured at the thought of pressing charges “that’s too much work I don’t want to”, what the fuck is he saying. “May, this isn’t a if you want to or not, this is a you Must! You were so quick on calling me a pervert but with these guys your just got ignore it”, I was wondering what he had to say for himself “well that’s different, cause I trust you and I’d get hurt if it were you, but these are random men I don’t care-“, I cut him off “WELL YOU SHOULD CARE!”, I yelled at him trying to knock sense into him. “You should go to the police and report it!”, May started getting heated “ITS NOT LIKE THE POLICE WILL DO ANYTHING!! I WOULD KNOW I’VE DONE THIS BEFORE”. I was stunned, done this before? How much has he suffered truly, “May what do you mean done this before…”, he looked away, May looked as though he was going to cry.

All I could do was hold Mays fragile body in my arms as he cried in my shoulders. “I don’t want to talk about it…” he sounded so devastated. “It’s fine, you’re probably tired, let’s go to sleep ok?”, I tried to sound soft and I comforted him as if he was a delicate doll, I turned on the air conditioner and I laid in bed with him snuggling him into the blankets as I got closer and held him near me. “Goodnight…” finally we both drifted off into sleep peacefully and in bliss.

Chapter Text

The way may looks when asleep is stunning, he’s like a god to me, the way the sheets drape perfectly over his body, his hair slightly messy as he lays his head on the silk pillows, the sun from the windows shining on his perfect pale porcelain skin, he was stunning. I watched as he slowly woke up from his slumber with his shirt slightly hanged off his shoulder as he looked over at me, “what time is it?” I forcefully got out my trance as he asked me in a sultry and sleepy voice. “It’s 10am”, he looked away from me which made me jealous, I wanted him to look at me right now. 

May looked around the house and he noticed the guitar hanging on my room, “you play the guitar huh?” I followed his gaze as I nodded, “yeah, been playing since 10, when my uncle taught me,” “a Gibson SG,a good guitar choice,” May looked at me and smiled, “I’m sure your a great player,” that made me blush a little, it was the first time someone acknowledged my guitar. 

“anyways i made you breakfast”, i handed him some water, “just come to eat”. I walked out the room and started setting up the table for him to eat.

as May walked out the room my dog ran up to him "oh! who is this cutie?" May kneeled down and started to pet him. i rushed over and started to take back my Pomeranian, i gave her some treats as she started  to jump around me "oh May-san, this is my dog yuzu," May had the sweetest smile as he looked at the dog, hesitantly trying to pet her as i laughed at him a little "your dog is cute, I always wanted a pet, mostly a cat," I looked at may really fondly as he kept playing with yuzu "May-san, you should eat now,"

Eventually, he looks up as he stares in awe of three platters of food left out on the table, “wow you went all out”, I smiled back at him, “I just had some spare time”, May sat down on the table and started eating a bit of the food, “it’s good”, “I’m glad you liked it”, he kept eating quietly and we didn’t talk much before May spoke up again “you know, I don’t really eat breakfast”, I was now intrigued, maybe I could now learn more about May that I couldn’t before, “well why not?”, May was thinking for a while before speaking again “my dad usually doesn’t wake up early enough for breakfast, and my mom lives in a different country from me”, I looked at him for a bit before he told me something else, “also if I eat too much I’ll get fat so it’s better that I avoid eating so much”, he really just dropped that bombshell on me, I didn’t know what else to say, I mean his body looked great, I don’t know why he’d want to starve himself further, maybe there is more to it than what he’s leading on but I don’t want to pressure him.

After a somewhat awkward breakfast May spoke up again, “hey, did you bring me over to your place all on your own?” I looked up at May, “ah no, Tenshi-Sensei helped me carry you back”, Mays face lit up, a bright smile that I wish he’d give me sometimes, “really? Tenshi helped me? gosh. I should go thank him some time”, May started texting in his phone, “who are you texting?” He looked back at me smiling “Sensei obviously! I’m gonna go over tomorrow night, at least I’m asking him if I can. I said it was to apologies to him, I hope he lets me come over”, wait they text each other, that’s insane!! Should a teacher even be this close to a student??? I get May is 18 now but he’s still his student!! Before I could say anything May got up, “well I’m going to take a shower now, I won’t bother you further so I’ll call the Uber and I’ll leave.” “Ah alright, the shower is just down the hallway.” “Don’t do anything weird while I shower”, weird!?! What could I possibly do other than…well…but I won’t do that!!!I watched as May made his way to the bathroom to bathe and I started to clean up the table and wash the dishes.

After some time I heard a loud call from the toilet, “REIII-KUNNN”, I quickly rushed to the toilet with May only wearing a towel around his waist and his hair wet, showing off his lean body, I blushed at the sight of it and tired to hide it . “Hey, rei-Kun what should I wear?!?”, that’s what this commotion was about!?! How troublesome…”can’t you just wear your clothes from last night??”, he pout and looked back at me, “but it’s sweaty and dirty!!!” Ugh how annoying, but May is so cute u can’t help but let out a chuckle and looked back at him smiling “well, you can just wear my clothes”, May looked at me a bit dumbfounded. “Really?”, “yes really”, I was much bigger than May so I ran through my closet and found some old clothes that should fit him, some basketball shorts and a red t-shirt, definitely not as stylish as what May usually wears but it does the job.

I handed May the clothes and I made my way out to let him change. When may came out the clothes were visibly too big on him, the shorts were up to his chest and he had to tie it with the drawstring for it to stay put and the regular fitted t shirt looked like a baggy shirt on him. It looked cute, I think May looks adorable and I’d love to have him keep wearing this. “Well then I’ll call and Uber and get going, sorry for all the trouble I caused you last night I’ll compensate it…somehow. See you in school soon, rei-Kun~”, he wore his shoes as he left the house. I stood there a little in shock before I shook my head.

Tenshis P.O.V 

I was rolling around on my bed completely disheveled, i was up till 2am dealing with May and i finally managed  to go sleep rather late. It was like god knows how early but i know I didn’t end up getting that much sleep. I was fast asleep when my phone kept vibrating on and on again, i was awaken by the vibrating sensation of my phone as i went to go check. I was half-asleep note really caring all too much of who was texting me until i saw who it was. May was the one texting me on and on which to be fair is in character for him but it was really early in the morning what could he possibly have to tell me?

>May:senseiii, are you awake? OwO
>Tenshi: I am now, what do you need?
>May: hmm rei-Kun told me that you helped carry me back home. Is that true?
>Tenshi: oh yea it is why?

I could sense that May I was scheming something, what exactly i was unsure of but it was something. Whatever it was i was having a bad feeling a bout it.

>May: well then sensei, how about i make it up to you?
>Tenshi: how exactly…?
>May: how about i go to your house!

Oh nah, no way am I letting my student in my house, especially since it would be embarrassing of anyone walked in, after all, i still had my ex-wives pictures hung up on the walls, I wouldn’t want him to see that. 

>Tenshi: oh no way.
> May: oh come on! I’ll cook for you or something! Nothing will happen i promise! 

I was very hesitant, some company might be nice but not my student! Although…if he really does nothing is there an issue? I don’t really have friends i can hang out with and I am single…i guess its fine for now. 

>Tenshi: ok fine, but no funny business. Ok?
>May: ok! I wont do anything wrong! Friday after school? 
>Tenshi: ok fine Friday after school, meet me at the porch, we’ll take my car to my place
>May: okkk see you then! Bye bye Sensei!

With that May sent me a heart message and went off line, i wonder what would happen from this?

Chapter Text

Then it came, the day May was supposed to come to my place, I hope he’ll keep his word and not do anything word but honestly I don’t know if I can trust him all too much, after all, I know how he can be like…it was a Friday night after all and we all know what teens do on Friday nights. 

I was outside school standing at my car waiting for May to reach the carpark. I looked up and I saw May walking towards me, “ah, sensei”. I looked at him making eye contact. "Are you ready? Do you have your things?" I asked as I smiled and opened the passenger's door for him. May got in and gave me a cheeky smile “yea I do, we’re going to your place right?”, I looked at him as I buckled my seat belt and got ready to drive “oh yes I mean where else would we go I promised you to take me to my place”. I looked at Mays teasing smile “I’m just asking”.

I chuckled "You're so damn annoying, you know that?” I looked forward on the road, keeping my eyes on the road as I pulled out of the parking lot, and started driving. “But I’m also damn cute aren’t I sensei?”, I scoffed at him and chuckled at his comments, after all he is damn cute. “I’m also damn sexy, especially in this uniform.” My eyes widened at the bold comment “I’m sorry?…did you just say sexy?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Well is it”, May said with the fake innocence oozing through his words. I gave him a serious look, afterall what he said was quite inappropriate especially given our power imbalance. “Why in the world would you call your uniform sexy?” May not seeming to understand the disturbance in his comment looked at me with a teasing smile “because your so fun to tease, I love to bully you sensei.” I sighed “I guess I am easy to tease and bully, but, I wouldn’t call what your wearing sexy, I mean it’s just a uniform”, I wanted to give May the same teasing energy he gave me but at the same time I tried to silently teach him that what he said was highly inappropriate. 

“Really? I think I look really sexy, although, do you know where it will look really good at?“ Curious, I decided to humor him for a bit “where?” I looked at his wide grin “on your bedroom floor”,I was completely silent, I was flabbergasted as I was simply slightly wide eyed “are you subtly hinting that…”. May had a wide grin and a smirk. I groaned a bit and looked back at the road “stop, don’t even try to flirt with me, you're 17 years old for god's sake and you're a student”. May seemed disappointed but I didn’t care, he needed to know what he was doing was bad “but I’m 18 now,” I rolled my eyes and scoffed at him “I don’t care your only freshly 18 and once again you're my student.” I couldn’t look at his eyes anymore.

“No fun…” I stayed silent before finally responding “I’m being serious here, I know that you're not like the normal 18 year old but I still will not entertain your attempts at flirting with me.” May rolled his eyes at me and we were silent for the rest of the trip. Eventually we reached my house and I opened the car door for him as i then escorted him into my house “what a nice house”, I closed the locked my front door as I answered May “thank, it’s a little messy, that’s just what happened when you live alone, make yourself at home”. May looked at my quite confused “don’t you have a wife?” I felt a sense of dread, sadness just washed over me at the mention of my wife “um well no, not anymore at least, why do you ask?” I was more serious and tense when we got to the topic of my wife 

“I don’t know, the fact that you keep rejecting my advances made me think you had someone”, I sighed at this "I'm not rejecting your advances because I am married or in some sort of relationship. I'm rejecting them because, as I've said before, you're underage and because it's inappropriate for me to do so..." I looked back at him as we entered a bit more into the house “look can we drop this? Come on let’s I don’t know do something while we are here”. May went over the fridge and looked over at the huge array of foods in there. “Oh you have beer”, I watched as May took it out and I walked over to him 

“No, May put that down”, May gave me a pout that was admittedly rather cute. “Oh come on, I'm 18!” I rolled my eyes “but legally you can only drink when you are 20.” May looked at me with puppy eyes, basically begging me to let him drink “but you gave me a cigarette and I was 17 then which is further from the smoking age!” God no way he’s bringing that up again, that was easily 6 months ago! “That was a long time ago, May, then is then and now is now, you can have a soda instead, leave the beers for me.” May groaned but he knew he couldn’t fight back anymore, in this situation, I’m the one with the power. I watched as May took a can of sprite and sat on the couch.

I grabbed a sprite myself and sat on the floor leaning on the legs of my couch. “Why don’t you sit on the couch with me?” I looked up at him “nah it’s more comfortable here”, truthfully I was just trying to create distance between me and May. 

“So…May are you hungry.” It was a fair question to ask! After all he hasn’t eaten since we had gotten here and I don’t think May ate during lunch since I saw him at the library with Rei the whole time. “I’m not hungry” I looked at him a bit worried "Not eating much is one thing. But skipping meals is a bit different... Are you all right?" I looked at him anticipating his answer “Why wouldn't I be?” I sighed at him “you skipped lunch and dinner and you were intending on just drinking something alcoholic.” I watched as May crossed his arms and looked to the side “I ate quite a heavy breakfast”

I tilted my head “but your still missing out on essential nutrients.” I got up gently and I rubbed Mays chin pushing his head up making him look at me, “well maybe I want to lose weight.” I feel like the dots are finally starting to connect, "That's not how you should lose weight. And why would you even want to in the first place? You're already thin and you look adorable…. I don't see a need for you to lose more weight." I was just being honest with him. “Well no I’m still…fat.” Ah that explains it, he’s aneroxic, at least I think he is, gosh this is why I can’t seem to chase him off…he has so much going on I’ll feel bad for abandoning him. 

I scoffed "You are not fat at all." I said as I shook my head "You're not fat, you look thin. I spoke while frowning. “Yea but I'm gaining weight, soon I'll no longer have a thigh gap”. I was getting increasingly happier that he’d think of himself in such a way, "And why would that be a problem? The fact about you not having a thigh gap, You look fine the way you are." I was trying to change his mindset, “That's what they all say but internally they all want me to stay thin” 

I was getting more and more curious, who was the ‘they’? "Then ignore what ‘they’ all think, and listen to me. I'm telling you that you look fine the way you are, and that you don't need to lose weight." I said with a serious gaze. I thought I was morivational, that I could change his mind but then I started hearing chuckling, then it changed to more intense laughter, I rolled my eyes "Yeah yeah... Laugh all you want, I'm being serious here”. I said as I finally let go of Mays chin and sat in the couch next to him "You seriously don't need to lose aweight. Period." I continued to hear chuckling “well aren’t you getting heated sensei,” 

I scoffed, “well why wouldn’t I be? You're talking about losing weight when you're already thin…. That's just." I paused for a bit, trying to find the right term "Ridiculous." I said as I looked straight at him, trying to make him understand “So you really do care about me huh?” I chuckle at him, "Well, yeah. I'm your teacher after all, of course I care about you. So, will you accept my advice and… not try to lose weight?” I got an admittedly random response to my question “You're a strange guy sensei” I raised an eyebrow "Why do you think I'm strange? Just answer the question... Will

you accept my advice, or no?” May gave me a genuine smile for once “No promises,” 

I sighed and rolled my eyes "But... You'll try to not lose more weight?" I asked and tilted my head to look at him. “Whatever you say sensei, Well it's not like I can make my own lunch even if I wanted to” I paused for a moment, before I said "You Can't make your own lunch? Do your parents….. Make it for you… Or something?" I was getting closer and closer to figuring out Mays home life “My mom isn't the most receptive to cooking”, I was going to get him to spill his whole life “if your mom doesn’t cook, then who does?” I wanted to know more and more about this boy.

“I buy take out, or one of my many boyfriends cook for me”, I narrowed my eyes

"You have…. Many boyfriends?" I said, as I raised my eyebrow further. “More like had, I dated quite a bit in my lifetime” Dated quite a bit in your lifetime… I  repeated in my head, my face looked a bit surprised "And you're... 18 years old...Right? and you had 'Quite a few boyfriends'… While you were what? 13 to 16?" I said as I frowned and crossed my arms in disappointment. “Are you upset?” May asked rather innocently. "Upset? No…. Disappointed is a better word.” Tenshi said and sighed

"The fact that, despite being young, you already dated multiple people….. Says something about you." 

“What? that I’m a whore?” May was straightforward, not beating around the bush. I cleared my throat before I spoke "That was not the word I was going to use, but... Yes, that's What I am trying to say." I said, as I kept looking at him with a serious expression. “I've come to terms with that a longtime ago.” I scoffed a bit

"So, you acknowledge the fact that you are a…. Whore. And you're fine with that?" I said as I raised my eyebrow. “I can't stand being single, I seek companionship, I mean you of all people would understand” I groaned a bit and rubbed my forehead "My god… How... Unhealthy… Do you not get attached to the people you hook up with?" 

The silence was filling up the air intensely as took a few more sips of his drink “Well obviously I do, but they would rather things be casual” I looked at him in disbelief, “… And yet, you keep hooking up with different people… Despite how that could affect your emotional health... Are you…. Insane?" May seemed to have gotten offended by my statement “Hey don't call me insane”, I was dismissive as I brushed him away, "Then why are you acting in such a way? I mean, it's just Ridiculously unhealthy and insane, at first. I didn't want to use those terms but.. You're Making it hard for me not to.”

May leaned closer as he placed the empty sprite can on the counter “How did this convo go from my diet to here?” I let out a simple sigh and leaned back on the couch "One thing led to another…. I mean we were talking about how you eat breakfast and skip lunch….. Then you started talking about losing weight.. Which then leads to me discovering that you have dated many people, see how we got here?” “Not really.” I shook my head. "We got too personal, is what I'm implying.”

May chuckled softly “Hehe you know your fun to talk to” I laughed back in return, "Fun? Me? I'm not exactly what you'd call fun...I'm serious most of the time, after

all" An air of intimacy spread the air as May responded “well you aren’t right now”. I chuckled and caressed my arm "Eh... That's only when I'm talking to you though…. In class, I'm pretty serious… Especially when I have to teach…Well that's just... How I am as a teacher.…. I can't exactly be as playful as I am right now during class." 

May chuckled as we slowly intertwined hands, letting the intimacy consume us as we sat in silence. Then May finally said something “You know I've never had home cooked meals in a long time.. maybe you could cook for me?” I looked at him a little surprised as I pulled my arms away, "Cook for you? You want me, your teacher, to cook for you?" I saw Mays smirk lightly drop when I pulled my hand away but he maintained his coy attitude “I mean why not we got time”, 

Like that I got up and walked to the kitchen “alright, what would you like?” May got up and walked towards me leaning on the counter “anything is fine if it’s made by sensei.” I looked around the kitchen finding something to cook for May, “Well.. We have some spaghetti noodles and some minced beef. So I guess l'Il make spaghetti bolognese.” I looked back at May, "Just watch me do my thing, and try not to say anything. Because all this flirting does bother me, you know? So it would be appreciated."

May crossed his arms and looked straight into my soul “you held my hand and now you're saying this, You know, I have a question for you.” I nodded my head as an indicator to talk as I prepared to start cooking. If you really hate my flirting or something, why do you still keep me around?” I was a little stunned, this question really had me thinking. Why do I keep him around? "That's a fair question, I mean you really are a bother and a tease, "But at the same time for some reason I can't hate you.” May raised his eyebrow at me almost as if he was judging me. "I'm not really sure, I don't know if it's just your looks or personality. Regardless of the reason, you've just attracted me somehow.” I sighed and continued cooking “"Or maybe I'm just really lonely..."

“Lonely? Are you divorced or something, I mean you mentioned you didn’t have a wife sooo.” I chuckled trying to keep the mood light but my face turned pensive after a while “well yea I was married for 8 years but we recently got a divorce…how’d you know,” May looked away, “I mean that picture of a women over there is a good indicator of it”, I trailed my eyes to the picture of my ex-wife, that is the only picture of her I had kept up “oh…that is quite an old picture…” May looked at me clearly pissed and angry, “why do you still have that picture”, I tried to focus on my cooking without the wave of emotions my wife makes me feel to take over me “I guess I’m just sentimental like that…” 

I set the spaghetti in front of May, “eat up”. I said as I ruffled his hair, I watched as May took a few bites of the spaghetti “it’s good..” I chuckled and sat next to him “good.” I watched as he gobbled up the whole meal in a few minutes. “Wow, you must be really hungry,” May looked up at me, “I haven’t eaten in a while.” “Oh so you are hungry?” “Oh shut up?” I was having so much fun teasing May. I went back to the couch as May continued sitting at the dining table. 

“So why’d you get a divorce anyways?” I looked straight at the tv, I didn’t want to relive the pain of getting divorced to the woman I considered my soulmate, “I don’t really want to talk about it, it’s quite…private”, May didn’t look at me at all “Ahh what a meanie, you ask all sorts of personal questions about me but I can't ask any about you?”, I chuckled, May is right, I’m a major hypocrite “"Well... I don't like admitting that

I'm kind of a softie, a little vulnerable even but I’d never admit that because it would make me look weak…which is something a teacher isn't supposed to look like…"Plus, I don't know... You asking personal stuff to me makes me feel like. Like you're trying to get to know me better”.

May walked towards me and laid on the couch placing his legs on my lap “is that so wrong?I mean I like you after all so it's natural i'd want to know you more”. I blinked and looked at him flabbergasted “... You like me?” May got up and looked at me in the eyes “I love you sensei,” I couldn’t speak, I was too surprised…it was too much, he’s only 18, in high school and my student, I don’t love him, even if our circumstances were different, I still love my ex-wife. Not May. May should be with someone that loves him. 

“May you shouldn’t love me. I’m your teacher. Please move on,” May laid his head on my shoulder as I lightly held him. “I’ll try…I don’t want to go home yet…” I stayed silent for a few seconds as I looked back at the picture of myself and my ex-wife.. as I sighed, still remaining silent …I was still very uncomfortable with the way May was acting but I’ve never had a student say they like me before, I didn't know what to say..? so I held him close and lightly hugged him.

As I kept him close as our simple hug turned into a cuddle as we were both now laying on the couch embracing each other, after a while I heard snoring…May was asleep. I looked up with May laying on my chest as I sighed wondering how I ended up in this position…whatever it was, I wanted to be there with him. May is coming to an end and June is soon. An end of era is coming and I wonder what comes with it.

Chapter Text

It was warm…weirdly warm…i woke up, fluttering my eyes in a deluded state, i was in a bed? The blanket was over me, I was all alone. I got up and slowly made my way out the room. When I exited I could smell the faint smell of grilled fish? I made my way to the kitchen and I saw sensei wearing an apron and making breakfast…a traditional Japanese one.

Sensei turned around to face him “ah, May, good morning, i made some breakfast for you to come and eat!” He was chipper almost to a fault. His guard was down, his brown hair messy, his eyes trailing over my disheveled state before going back to cooking, it felt like we were newlyweds. Before I had the opportunity to fully enjoy my environment, my phone created an irritating buzz, so I checked the contact. Fuck, it was dad “sensei, im going to take this call real quick.” He nodded and went out to the balcony, shutting the door behind me to get some privacy.

“Hello? Dad?” Before i could say the next words that i wanted to come out my mouth immediately i was startled by intense yelling and cussing 

“Where the fuck are you!” 

“I’m at sensei's house like i said…we were just studying sorry I didn’t tell you i stayed over-”

“May cut the bullshit! You were probably out fucking some old guy! God, I hope he at least pays you! I’d rather you be a prostitute than a disgraceful slut!”

“Wait, dad!”

“Don’t even think of coming home today!”

“Dad-” and like that my dad ended the call

What should I do? I can’t stay with sensei too long, well I could but he’ll get curious and i can't tell him i'm supposed to be cool not mentally messed up. Whatever, I'll figure it out. I soon came out the balcony and into the kitchen where the food was beautifully laid out in front of me. “May! You took so long, is everything okay?” I smiled at him “yea don’t worry, it was some of my fellow councilors, you know student council work.” “Ah right, you're the student council president i keep forgetting.”

I sat down as I took in the meal in front of me, this was the most amount of food I’ve eaten in a long time. “I’ll go home after eating and taking a shower.” Sensei sat across me and we enjoyed a nice meal 

“So may…aren’t we going to talk about it?” He looked so serious.

“Talk about what?”

“Your love confession I mean”

I looked down, I slowly wondered, I don’t know why, my heart is longing for him but my brain doesn’t want to let me love him. I wonder why? “What’s there to talk about? I said I’ll try to forget about you, didn't I?” Sensei scoffed looking at me unconvinced “sure, but you won't actually be right?” 

I looked up at him , swapping my plain expression for my playful one, as if I'm incapable of taking anything serious. “Obviously not!”

He smirked and we continued to enjoy the nice breakfast.

“I’m going to go take a shower” With that I left for the bathroom, I stood still as the cold water ran on me, ever so lightly trickling on the cuts on my thighs…emphasizing on the exposed rib cage and my small dick. A body that could only be loved by a kinky messed up fag of a man. After the shower I took a long look at my body as I felt the bathroom door open, did I not lock it? I looked over and sensi opened it before slowly closing it. 

“Ah! My apologies! I wanted to give you come spare fresh clothes, they are mine from when i was younger.” Crap did he see my bodily deformities, the vileness of my figure is to only be seen by me and my sexual endeavors…not my romantic ones. He seems really flustered though, he probably didn’t see it, I hope he didn’t see that it would be terrible, I’ll just play it off. 

“Pervert! Spying on your student huh?” I laughed at him with a big grin. “N-no!”

“Haha come on give me the clothes,” he handed me the clothes before he left looking as red as a tomato, i wore the clothes and i exited the bathroom, 

“Well I’ll get going now!” Sensei looked at me rather surprised. “Come on, I'll drive you home” I shook my head, i have nowhere to go and I don’t want sensei to know that “i live nearby don’t worry! I can walk!” He looked concerned but he let me, “bye sensei!” “Bye May,”

 I made my way out wondering what I’ll do now. With my school bag and my dirty clothes inside I could go to a hotel, sleep with a guy and make him pay but right now I don’t even want to be in town…a Saturday morning and walking around town aimlessly, how fun!

Then I bumped into someone “oh Shi-” they said before I looked up at them. Ah…it was rei-Kun.. “well hello there, what are you doing here,” he asked me with his hand in his pocket. “Oh just passing by.” "On your way somewhere?" he asked as he looked at me up and down.  "Are you free? Wanna go get some coffee or something?" 

“Actually…you wanna do something fun?” I can pass the day with Rei-Kun! Of course! Why didn’t I think of that sooner! 

Rei raised his eyebrows "What kind of fun?" He smirked slightly. staring down at me and his expression shows interest. “You want to go to the arcade?” 

"Sure. I don't have anything to do anyways." He shrugged  "Lets go! I'm feeling like I'm in the mood to waste my time on a game right now" he smirked and grabbed my hand. He led me to his favorite arcade located in a local mall.

He led me into the arcade, which was a little noisy. There were many types of arcade machines and they were all full of people. He immediately led us to the basketball machine. "Get ready to waste your time because I'm going to beat you" I put a coin in and start playing. “Yea sure you are buddy.”

He shrugged and continued playing. A few rounds passed and he still won most of the rounds and beat my ass up. Of course he started to boast in my face. "Told you. I'm the king here" he looked down at me and chuckled "What next? Got any other games to challenge me with?"

I gave him a pout, admittedly I was having fun! He raised an eyebrow as he saw me pouting.  "What? Are you giving up already?" 

He teased you. “Nope! Come on!” I took him to go play dance dance revolution with me “this one I can sure beat you!” 

“Ready to get your ass kicked again sweetheart!” “Stick to calling me May-san instead of sweetheart.” "Haha, alright. Let's do this, May-san" he gave me an evil grin to tease me then focused on the game. and for once I beat his ass. 

"What!" He was shocked upon seeing me have a higher score than him. "How come you can beat me?!" He said in disbelief. I stared at the score and to Rei.  "Are you cheating?! No way! Let's do a rematch!!" and we kept playing, a crowd was forming but in the end I kept winning. "This..is impossible!" Rei was having a hard time trying to beat me and he got a little pissed "Damnit! How are you so good!" He groaned but I could tell he was having a ton of fun. “It was my favorite game growing up. When my dad was drinking I’d go to the local arcade to play.”

His expression turned a bit serious when I said that, "Hey..are you okay?" He said with a concerned tone. He put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me worried. "I didn't mean to remind you of a bad memory. I'm sorry.” 

“Pffp please, I’m having a good time!” I gave him a wide smile, a genuine smile, something I didn’t give anyone else. His expression became happy again as he saw that genuine smile on my face.  "I'm glad that you're having fun, May-san" he smiled back. His tone became a bit more softer and gentle, "You should smile more often.”

“Why?”

“Cause you look cuter,” rei walked past me to go check out some other games while I was stunned a little by his compliment. "Well, that was a fun session. How about we take a break?" He walked over to the snack bar inside the arcade and ordered 2 milkshakes. Then I walked back towards me and gave me one.  "Here, cool yourself down” He casually asked while sipping his drink. 

I took a sip “it’s strawberry…my favorite…” I muttered under my breath, luckily Rei didn’t catch my drift. Soon we’ve been playing for hours without realizing, we’re now collecting a prize. I was eyeing a plush cat. He chuckled softly as he noticed that I was staring at the plushy cat.  "You want that one?" He said as he pointed at the plushy cat I was staring at. “…a little.”

He chuckled and went to redeem all the tickets by exchanging them with the prizes. He gave the cat plush.  "There! One cat plush for my senpai! alright. Where do you wanna eat? I'm feeling like eating a burger today” he  said as he grabbed my hand. I held onto the plushy as I followed behind him. He led me to the nearest burger joint we could find. Frankly I was getting overwhelmed by the choices. He chuckled "Too many choices, huh? How about this? I'll order something for you. Alright?”

“But all of these have a lot of calories” 

He stared at the menu then to me then back to the menu again "Yeah, they all are. Why? are you on a diet?" He raised an eyebrow. 

“Ah…” 

He looked at me with worry.  "May....please don't tell me you are. Is that true?" He gently grabbed your hand and held it, he stared into my eyes worriedly "Tell me the truth. Are you doing this to lose weight? Is it because you think you're too fat? If so then you aren't. You're perfect just the way you are"

“Why don’t you order something for me, I’ll probably faint trying to choose.”

He sighed and looked down at the menu, then at you again. I started a few more before finally putting down the menu back on the table. "Alright...then, how about this? I'll order you a chicken burger and some fries. How that sounds? Do you want a drink?"

“That's fine…it's been a while since I indulged a bit.”

After the food arrived, He slid my order in front of me "Enjoy your meal, May-san. Eat

as much as you like" He smiled gently and ate his own burger happily. I took a bite and I looked like I unlocked a whole new world. Rei chuckled when he saw how I reacted when I ate the burger "It's that good, huh? Good! I'm glad that you're having a nice meal. You can't stay with an empty stomach after all those hours of gaming” He chuckled softly and continued eating my burger. “Rei-Kun…”

"Hmm? What is it, May-san?" He raised an eyebrow and looked at me, confused. Rei put down his burger and looked at me curiously. “Thank you for agreeing to spend the day with me.” 

I could tell my statement caught him off guard, "Of course. It's been a lot of fun today, isn't it? We should do this more often, May-san" He took a sip from my drink and stared at me “We should.”

 "I'd love that" Rei smiled genuinely, it's been awhile since I enjoyed my day like this. I felt comfortable around him, which is unusual for me. I normally would not enjoy spending so much time with other people, but right now it is different. 

After the meal we started to walk back home, the sun was setting and I was next to Rei without saying much, just enjoying each other’s presence. The sun painted the sky in an orange red color. Even after spending almost the entire day together, I still wouldn't get bored of being with him. Rei grabbed my hand and looked down at me to check if I was okay "It's getting late. I'll walk you back home" 

“Home…” I looked down Once again, he sensed that hidden meaning behind my words. He gently held my chin and forced me to look at my eyes. He stared at me with a firm but gentle gaze. 

"Come on, May-san. Be honest With me. Is your relationship with your parents okay? Or are you having a bad time at home? I can tell that there's something that you are hiding…please don't lie to me, May” He said with a firm, but gentle tone in his voice. “I wanted you to know that you can trust me and tell me your problems.”

“It's not…the best.” I didn’t want to go home, no way, it was too painful. I stopped walking and I looked up at him “you don't live with your parents right?” 

He stared at me, slightly confused with my sudden question. But He nodded in response

"Yes, it's true. I live alone. Why do you ask?" He asked as my tone is still gentle

and warm. He stared at me curiously as He awaited your answer. “I want to be far away from this area right now, I want to be anywhere, anywhere but here” I look at him, he was clearly worried. You could see it in my face and my words. I gently grabbed my hand and gave me an assuring smile "Alright. Where do you want to go? I'll take you anywhere" He said as He squeezed my hand gently. His eyes are full of worries and concerns. 

We ended up stumbling to a nearby train station, with no plans, some money and no idea what’s going to come next we started to look around. He waited with me at the station. He sat down and put the cat plush on his lap and just waited. Sometimes I would glance at him and he could tell I was feeling troubled. "May…do you want to do something crazy?" 

“Like?” I perked up, interested in knowing what he'd say. He smirked mischievously and stood up, taking my hand "How about we get on the train and we just go. Wherever the train will take us, that's where we're going" He said excitedly as He stared at me with mischievous eyes. He grabbed my hand then started running, dragging me along with him "Let's get lost together, shall We?" I took his arm readily, 

“only for the night.”

"Of course. I just want to take your mind off whatever that's bothering you right now, but we will come back by tomorrow."

We finally arrived at the platform, just on time as the train was about to depart. Rei pulled me in and sat down next to him. "So, it's just for the night, right? We're going back tomorrow. So, where do you want to go, May-san?" He smiled, I was hoping that this is enough to make me at least feel better for now. I closed my eyes and pointed at a random spot on the map. 

Rei looked at where I pointed at and he nodded. "Okay, then the train will stop at that station and we'll get off. Until then, let's just enjoy the ride" Rei smiled and put an arm around my shoulder. He put my head on his shoulder and stared out the window, watching as the night fell and the night sky became prettier. We were both quiet, only listening to the night sky and to the humming sounds of the train.

Once the train stopped at the station, I realized we had to get off. I smiled and stood up "Alright then, let's go” Rei said as he held my  hand and waited for me to get up and get off with him. We walked around together, I was still holding onto your hand as we walk through the city. Eventually, we went to a beautiful beach. The night sky and moon are reflected on the shimmering water, it looks beautiful.  "Look at that! The ocean looks magical tonight" Rei said as he stared at the water with fascination in his eyes.” 

We watched the waters as they splash on the shore, creating a beautiful, calm and gentle sound. The wind is cold and the sky is clear, as if all the stars and the moon were just made to see them at their most beautiful. The sight was mesmerizing, we just stood there and admired the view, only listening to the sound of the waters and the waves. 

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Rei said, still staring at the gorgeous sight in front of us. “It’s been so long since I’ve been to the beach” I said, staring out, wide eyed as the light glistened in front of me. “It’s been so long since I’ve been to the beach, the last was probably when I was 8.” 

Rei stared at me in disbelief. "Wow..that's really long. You really like missing out, don't you? Alright then. Let's make the most of this time here then." Rei said before he quickly took his shoes off and started running towards the sea, feeling the cold water touching his skin. "Come on, join me!" Rei shouted back at you. 

 “Hey wait!” I shouted at him. I was flustered and a little fearful of entering the water.

Rei laughed and stopped at the water's edge, waiting for me to come. "Come on!! Hurry up! The water is nice!!" Rei shouted and continued to wait for me, while the sea water was splashing all over him. I rolled up my jorts and I joined him. 

I smiled happily as I finally joined him in the water. It was still cold and I could feel the cold water splashing on my legs, but it was fun. I felt as if I was having the time of my life right now.  "It feels good, right, May-san?" Rei looked at me, smiling gently and staring into your eyes. “Yea!” 

I noticed how close we were once I got in the water with him. I stared at him, still smiling gently. I couldn't help but to stare at him. The night sky and the beautiful stars were reflected on his eyes, making it look even more prettier. I felt like I was in a trance and I couldn't stop staring at Rei. I splashed water on him.

"Ah! Hey! What was that for?!" Rei complained and splashed back at me, then laughed. “What are you looking at dumbass!”

"You're the dumbass! I was admiring the view!" Rei teased while splashing back at me. We both just start splashing and throwing water at each other. I was having fun! For the first time in a long time.

We were laughing and splashing water, my hair is a mess and is wet, my shirt is a bit damp and the water was dripping off my face. I was actually having a lot of fun right now with Rei. "I see you're having the time of your life, sweetheart" Rei smiled as I continued splashing water at him. Rei grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him. "Good! That's what I wanted you to do. Forget all that negativity for just at least a moment! It's good to live in the present once in a while, May-san" he stared into my eyes, almost hoping to get his message across. 

I started to get teary…why? I was so confused but something about his words hit me. I couldn't help but just cry my eyes out. Rei was taken aback when he saw that I was starting to tear up. He pulled me into a hug and caressed my back gently. "What's wrong, May-san? Are you alright? Did I say something wrong?" He said with a soft and worried tone. He held me close in his arms, feeling a bit guilty that he might be the reason for my sadness, not knowing that it was actually the opposite. 

it’s been so long since I’ve cried, let alone cry in front of someone “no I’m just so happy!” I was a little surprised that I admitted my feelings, that I actually told someone my thoughts. Rei pulled away from the hug, just a little. He stared down at me, confused and happy at the same time. "You're...happy? Really?" He said as he gently wiped away the tears from my face and cupped my cheek gently. 

“I’m so happy I could die!” He chuckled and pulled me in for a tighter hug. 

"If you're gonna die from being happy right now, I'll die with you," he said while laughing. I still couldn't believe that all it took to make me this happy is to take me to a beach and a bit of splashing. It made my heart grow warmer and bigger. 

“Come on, we need a place to stay. And fresh clothes”as I ushered Rei away we found a cheap store and got us some fresh clothes and we found a decent hotel , not the fanciest but it will do. i'm pretty sure the receptionist was judging us for our wet clothing and as we entered the bedroom there was 1 bed but it was quite nice.

"Huh?! Why is there only one bed?!" Rei immediately protested looking at me confused and shocked. I can’t help but find it a little cute. “Relax, it was the only room available, be grateful we even have a place to sleep”, I attempted to reassure him. “I’m going to get changed first” I went to the bathroom and put on a fresh set of clothes. 

I walked out of the bathroom and saw Rei already on the bed. He looks comfortable and peaceful.  "Wow, you look exhausted" Rei told me before chuckling as I slowly got into bed. I laid next to him. It was 3 am at this point and I was focusing on going to sleep. “That’s cause I am” I turned away from Rei and was focused on trying to sleep. 

“Hey…May-san…” 

“Yes?” 

“Just now when you cried there was more to it wasn’t it?” I was confused, perplexed even. There was more but how could he have guessed? I simply chose to lie

“No there isn’t anything else”

“Liar” ah, he called me out on my bullshit…you know since we’ve been this honest so far I might as well tell him the truth, I was still facing away from him.

“Earlier that day…no the day before…I confessed to tenshi-sensei…”  Rei sat up and looked at me, confused and slightly shocked. He  knew you had a crush on the teacher, but he was definitely not aware that I actually confessed to him. "Wait...you did?! And?" 

“And nothing…nothing happened. I just felt so humiliated, being with you, even for a moment, I remember I have a lot more to live for, well it’s whatever, it’s late, we should sleep.” I couldn’t see Rei but I could feel his concerned eyeshots at me as he slowly laid back on the bed.

“Alright, May-san, sleep well okay? Good night.”

“…night.”

Chapter Text

I slowly open my eyes, waking up from the sound of seagulls. I turn to my side and see that Mays is still asleep. I smiled and sat up a little to stare at him. He looks so peaceful and comfortable when he's sleeping. Not having any trouble or stress right now. 

I continued staring at him for a while, not sure if I should wake him up or if I should let him sleep some more.I reached my hand out and gently caressed his cheek. I wanted to enjoy this scene, May looking so peaceful and beautiful right now. My hand got quickly snatched away. I was surprised when he suddenly snatched my hand away like that. "Huh-?!" I didn't expect him to grab my hand that fast. I looked down at him, surprised by how easily he can still snatch my hand even while he’s half asleep. 

“Don’t disturb my sleep,” May simply said without much other emotion. 

I chuckled and shook my head. I wasn't expecting him to be grumpy in the morning. "Oh c'mon. I just wanted to take a look at you while you're sleeping" I said gently and tried to caress his cheek again. I looked at him, a bit sad that my source of entertainment had woken up."Aww damn it. I thought I could admire my favorite person a bit while they're asleep" I whined as I sat up on the bed as well, looking at him. 

May blushed a little “favorite person?” That was the first time he ever blushed, at least in my perception. I noticed that he’s blushing and I couldn't help but feel my heart skip a beat. He always had a sort of hyper mask, not authentic but he’s actually very adorable when you blush. I leaned closer to him. "Aww....you're blushing,” I teased him. “Oh shut up” May got up. 

I chuckled and followed him, also getting out of bed.  "You're such a tsundere aren't you, May-san" I said as I ruffled his hair. “Is that so,” I stretched a little. I nodded and looked at him, chuckling "Yep! You pretend to be this cold and strict person but you can blush so easily. You're so cute, sweetheart,” May looked back at me, “I guess I am like that a little bit, although you too broke my perception and of you,” 

I chuckled. "What was your perception of me before? Is it really that bad?" I asked curiously. I can't imagine how bad his perception of me is but I'm kinda excited to hear it. “Yea, don’t you do drugs and drink?” 

I  nodded "Yeah that's right. I smoke, drink, occasionally skip class, and get in trouble with authority figures. I know that makes me look bad. So I bet your perception of me is a lowlife who doesn't care about school and just causes trouble, huh?" May has his usual smug smile “Well, i'd be lying if i didn't see you like that, especially since you seem to have swoon me as well,” 

I chuckled and nodded.  "Yep. That's understandable. Most people would have that perception of me, especially the girls. They all think I'm a 'bad boy' who's just gonna get them in trouble" I then smirked a little and looked at him. "But I'm guessing that you changed your impression of me after our 'beach date' last night?" May had an adorable pout “Well considering I’m here in a hotel with you instead of at school, I definitely tolerate you now,” 

I smiled "Oh I'm only tolerated? Only tolerated after spending an entire night having fun with me? Ouch" I said jokingly, acting as if I'm offended by his comment. May gave me a teasing smirk, “If someone see us exiting the hotel they’d get a wrong idea,” I chuckled as he pointed out the fact that if we walk out of the hotel together, it'll look like we had spent a night here together, more than just friends or classmate. "Hmmmmm~ well, is that a bad thing?" I smirked as I walked closer to him and I put my hands on his waist. May looked at me almost perplexed, “Of course why wouldn’t it be?” 

I smirked and looked down at him, pulling him closer to me, until our chest was almost touching. "Hm…I think…it’d be fine if people think that we’ve spent a night together here…" I leaned down, placing my head beside his as I spoke to him gently. "Wouldn’t you agree, sweetheart?" “Well I’m not into you though,” May was blunt and didn’t say it jokingly at all, as if he was serious about this. 

I was taken back for a moment by his words, but I smiled and chuckled softly, my face still close to his. "Oh really now? Even after I've spent the whole day and night with you, and you had a great time with me, you still say that you’re not into me?" I moved my hands from his waist to his hip, holding him firmly. 

“I love tenshi-sensei”

My smile faded away after hearing his words. "Of course you do..." I said, still holding him in my arms. Mays always focused on Tenshi-sensei, I know that. And it doesn't seem like he’ll ever change his mind about that person. I leaned my head down before whispering into his ear with a soft and gentle voice."He's not gonna notice you, y'know…"

May scowled a little “And why not,” I tightened my hold on his hip gently as I continued speaking into his ear. I felt a bit annoyed by the fact that he keeps pining over somebody who’s not gonna notice him. "He's a goddamn teacher. That's it. That’s why. He’s not gonna notice you and you know you’re too stubborn to accept that fact." May got angrier “No, I’ll make him mine soon,” 

I pulled back from his ear and let out a frustrated sigh. "Oh May-san, you're in denial. You can’t make him yours, and even if you tried, he’d probably just reject you" I said bitterly. I hate seeing him being delusional like this. “You don’t get it, he’s the first guy that was never nice to me, he cares about me and I do too,” May tried to defend Tenshi-Sensei. 

I felt even more frustrated by his words, and I gripped his hip a little tighter, so our bodies were pressed together.  "What do you mean ‘the first guy that was never nice to me’? Am I not nice to you? And hell, you don’t know if he cares about you. You’re just delusional." I could no longer hold back my anger and frustration anymore. He was just acting so delusional and it’s driving me insane. May scoffed at me, “Oh please, when we first met you tried to blackmail me, how are you nice to me,” 

I let out a sharp scoff, hearing your remark. "Yeah, I blackmailed you because I was trying to have fun. But in the end, we still spent a whole day together, enjoying ourselves. Am I still not allowed to say I'm nicer than that teacher of yours?" I said in a frustrated tone, still gripping his hip and pulled him even closer to me. I was mad, frustrated and irritated. But as soon as I looked at his face, I felt my heart skip a bit. He was looking up at me with those pretty red eyes, that looked so innocent and naive. I bit my lower lips in frustration and spoke to him again in a gentle tone. "You’re…you’re driving me nuts right now, you know that?"

May broke free from my grip, “Whatever, do you like me or something?” 

I was taken back by his question, a bit caught off guard. I’m frustrated with how delusional he is, yet at the same time I can’t deny that I like you. "Well…why does it matter if I like you or not? You’re still gonna focus on that damn teacher of yours, aren’t you…" I said as I pulled him back and gripped his hip more tightly, holding him in place. “I’m incapable of love, so I’m serious about tenshi-sensei,” 

I let out a sharp scoff again as he said those words. "Incapable of love…yeah right…" I knew that deep down, he cared about that stupid teacher. But it still hurts to hear him say that “I’m incapable of love”. No one is incapable of love. But he’s just too oblivious to accept the fact that I like him and then he’s gonna go ahead and chase after that teacher of his like a puppy chasing after their bone…May pulled away from grip. 

I watched as he got up from my grip. "Hmph…you’re so stubborn and annoying" I said as I leaned back against the wall and crossed my arms. I still haven’t let go of the topic about how May is chasing after that damn teacher of his. I looked at him in a resentful manner. We are both silent right now. I’m seething with jealousy and frustration that he would rather go after that teacher than anyone else. I couldn't take my eyes off him, and then I decided to speak again. "Just…just what the hell do you see in that guy?" May looked down, “…I don’t know,” 

I let out a scoff and shook my head in disbelief. "Seriously? So you’re chasing after him even though you don’t know what you like about him?" May finally looked up at him, “Maybe it was just a right person right time thing but he was there when I needed someone, and despite everything he tolerates me,” 

I felt a pang in my chest as he said that. So it’s just the right person, at the right time. Then what about me? I was there when he needed someone too, wasn’t I? I was the one who saved him from running away, wasn’t I? "He may have been there when you needed someone…but what about me? I was there too, I was the one who…" I bit my tongue, holding back my words. I gritted my teeth a little and continued.  "I was the one who took you out today, I was the one who was with you all day and all night. And yet you’re still gonna go and chase after that person…after some goddamn teacher who’s so cold and harsh to you…" I was ranting by now, still mad at him. 

May clicked my tongue. “He isn't cold and harsh to me!” I let out another scoff and looked at him in disbelief. "Oh really? He isn’t cold and harsh? Do you hear yourself right now? You’re just delusional. You’re so blinded by your little ‘crush’ that you can’t even perceive the fact that this teacher of yours is probably just manipulating you!" At this point May was seething with anger “God you’re so annoying! I wish I never came here with you!” 

I felt a sharp pain in my heart as he said those words. I clenched my fist, trying my best to hold my anger and frustration. "Oh yeah? If you’re so annoyed by me, then why the hell are you still here? Why are you still staying here instead of running off to chase that goddamn teacher of yours!?" May grabbed my stuff and stormed out. 

I watched as he stormed out of my sight. A mix of anger and sadness, watching him walk out like that.  "Tch…fine…leave then!” I mutter to myself, trying to act as if I’m not affected. But the pain in my chest from hearing him saying, “I wish I never came here with you” is still there. 

As another school day came around, I hadn't seen May-san all day. I was walking through the hallway and happened to hear some voices coming from a nearby classroom. I slowly walked closer to the room, and to my surprise, I saw through the window that it was May in that room, and Tenshi-sensei was holding him close. I clenched my fist as I saw the sight. That stupid teacher has his arms around him, holding him close. He leaned in to whisper something to his ear, and May was just looking up at him with that naive innocent smile on his stupid face. 

I felt my blood boil as I watched the scene before my eyes. Why does that bastard get to hold him like that? Why does he get to be with him while I’m standing here watching this whole thing play out in front of me? Worst of all? Man I fucking miss May-San. 

Chapter Text

Rei…who the fuck gave him the rights to question me and my love for tenshi? It’s all genuine, I love tenshi, Tenshi loves me too, Rei just hates seeing me happy. I thought to myself as I stormed out the hotel room, and got on the first train back home. 

It was later and we were at school, I skipped the last day and now I’m finally back at school staring out the window at an empty classroom. The bell had just rang, which indicated the lunch break. Students from all the classrooms walked through the corridors to get to the cafeteria. During that time, Tenshi saw me through the window and walked to the door of the empty classroom in which I was in. He opened the door silently and approached me... He still seemed like he normally did... Cold and serious... But... Not as much. "You skipped class yesterday..." He said as he leaned on the desk in front of me, arms crossed. 

I looked back at tenshi “I was out somewhere, I was with Rei-Kun,” He raised an eyebrow once again, he was now looking at me with a slight hint of suspicion, "With... Rei... Huh...?" He paused, as he started to put the pieces together. "... And you two just... Spent the entire day together... Right...?" He said, as he slowly got closer to me... He started to get the feeling that there was something else that happened between us two…

"Hm... And what did you two do...? All day..." He said as he got even closer to me... He was standing right in front of me now... And he looked right into my eyes. I responded “Went to the beach” 

I got closer to him now we were directly facing each other. “Hey, sensei,” He was slightly surprised by how quickly I changed the subject... But he decided to go along with it and ask me what I wanted…"What...?" 

“Do you care about me?” I desperately wanted to prove Rei wrong, I don’t even know why, I just wanted Rei to be wrong so desperately bad. Tenshi-sensei  was dumbfounded hearing that, he was definitely not expecting that question but he decided to answer it truthfully, "Of course I care about you. I wouldn't be trying to get to know more about you otherwise and I wouldn't have let you spend the night in my house.”

I grabbed his hand and placed it on my head.He was a little surprised by how boldly I put his head on my hand but he decided to comply and start gently patting my head. I got closer and tenshi pulled me into a hug. I was very surprised by how boldly he acted, and how he hugged him like that but even so, I hugged him back, and held onto my back. The two of us were very close at that moment. 

I looked up at Tenshi, “sensei, Can I go back to your house?” He stayed silent for a couple of seconds before sighing and giving his answer."Yeah, You can stay at my house for the night again, if you want to." I smiled a little from his answer, of course, how could he say no to me? Tenshi got closer and whispered in my ear, “I hope you know you can always come to me…You'll be the end of me, you know that?" 

It was later and I was in tenshis house sitting on his couch. I was on the couch cuddled up next to him enjoying his presence to the fullest. I couldn’t enjoy this peace for long though, soon another woman entered his house. Tenshi was a little surprised by the fact that someone had just walked into the house, he looked at her, with a slightly annoyed expression on his face "Aya, Why are you here...?" Ayame? Who the hell was that? I immediately shot up to look at her. 

He sighed as he looked at the woman who had just walked into his house without any warning. He seemed very annoyed by her sudden appearance "Ayame Hayashi, My ex-wife..." His ex-wife looked at me as she walked a bit closer towards Tenshi and sat on the arm chair opposite him. She had an almost, possessive look on her face. 

Tenshi was clearly annoyed by the fact that his ex-wife was now sitting in front of him but he was trying to keep his cool but deep down he was very uncomfortable with her being there. Soon, Ayame spoke up, "So, You've gotten yourself a new plaything, haven't you?" She said in a mocking tone. She clearly didn't think much of me. I glared at her, I didn’t like her tone very much. Tenshi looked at me and he could tell that you were not a fan of the way his ex-wife was talking to me, but he tried not to bring much attention to it, he was just silently sitting there, waiting for her to say more. 

Tenshi excused himself to go make drinks for the 3 of us and now me and ayame were just sitting in front of each other. The silence lasted for a couple of moments before she spoke, "You know I don't really believe that you two aren't together," I leaned back on the chair “How so?” The ex-wife shrugged "Well, Considering the way you two were acting when I walked in It really does look like you're together... Unless you two are just being very affectionate with each other for no reason," She said with a slight mocking tone, she was obviously getting on my nerves. I looked away “Well, I want to be with him.”

 "Of course you do but the question is does he want to be together with you?" Ayame was really starting to get on my nerves. “Why wouldn’t he want me?” She started eyeing my school uniform,  "Well, you know he is a lot older than you, isn't he? You're just a kid after all." She said, seemingly trying to annoy me by stating how much younger I was than Tenshi. “I'm not that young,” Ayame looked at me. "17 is still young though compared to Tenshi who's 28, don't you think?" She said with a taunting tone.

What was her issue? I decided to ask her straight up, “what is your problem? You divorced sensei so what’s with this attitude?” She gritted her teeth,  "I divorced him, that's correct but I still care for him, I was with him for 8 years, after all, So of course I'd feel annoyed if I learned he was dating some kid,” She said, still with a mocking tone. I glared at her “Me and him are not dating,”

 "If you're not dating then why were you two so close when I came in?" She asked with a sarcastic tone. “He was just…comforting me,” 

"Comforting you..." She said with a mocking tone. She clearly wasn’t convinced that that was all that was happening. I maintained eye contact as I asked, “if me and sensei were together what would you do?” She was clearly a bit surprised by that question. She got slightly more serious before she gave an answer, "I'd try my best to convince him not to date a kid, obviously. After all It's not appropriate for a grown adult to date a teenager,” She said as she crossed her arms. “Why’d you divorce sensei anyways? I wouldn’t be here right now if he was still married,” 

She was taken aback for a moment by that statement. She got a little annoyed by it and let out a slight scoff, "Why did I divorce him? I divorced him, because he never had enough time for me. He was always too busy with work, he always prioritized work over me," my eyes softened a little “Sensei isn’t like that with me at all, and me and him aren’t dating, So, why are you back here anyways?” I crossed my arms and leaned back.

She slightly narrowed her eyes before giving me a simple answer. "I came back simply because I had a few things I needed to get from this house, that's all," I wanted her gone, I wanted to be alone with sensei again, “Then you should grab it and leave,” She was taken aback by my statement. She was a little irritated, but she just rolled her eyes and uncrossed her arms,  "Why the rush? I should at least stay for as long as Tenshi makes those drinks for us,” I scoffed “yea well,I don’t like you very much.” 

She chuckled a little and gave me a sly smirk. "Why? Because I was once married to Tenshi, and you really want to have him to yourself?" I rolled my eyes. “You hurt sensei and you have been so harsh to me since you came,” She narrowed her eyes at me as she heard me say that. "Hurt him? If anything he broke my heart, he's the one who was too obsessed with work to give me any attention during our relationship! And I haven't been harsh to you.,"

Ayame leaned back in the chair she was sitting on, and gave me a sly smirk. "I can tell that you're the type of person who gets too possessive. You want to have him all to yourself, because he showers you with affection that you wouldn't be able to get from someone else your age, right?” I glared at her for the change in topic “I could get it from someone my age,” She chuckled a little, clearly not believing that "Oh, really? You could get the same amount of attention from someone your age as from a 28 year old grown adult? Seriously, you try to act so mature yet your just a little kid with tons of issues,” I was surprised she could get such a good read on me, I doubt im that predictable, right?

“If sensei was my age I’d still love him,” I simply announced. She became a little more surprised by my response, she wasn't expecting me to say that,  "If he was closer to your age you'd still love him? What about all those other boys in your school, why not go after any one of them?" I looked away. “They just don't have what sensei has,” She chuckled once again. She clearly thought you were just using Tenshi for attention, and she couldn’t picture you dating anyone else at your school because ‘they were all the same and boring’. "Let me guess, You don’t want to go after any of the boys in your school, because they’re not interesting enough for you. They’re not exciting enough, are they?"

“No…that’s not why,” I tried to deny it.

"Then why is that? Why don’t you go after any of the boys at your school, huh? Are you going to say they can’t give you the attention you want? Is that what you’ll say, that they’re too busy with things? Is it because you can't imagine any of them actually showing you any affection in the same way Tenshi does?" Ayame kept adding pressure on me. 

“He just…he was the only one that truly cares about me,”

She smiled and let out a soft scoff, "He’s the only one that cares about you? Am I supposed to believe that? You're telling me there weren't any other boys your age who showed interest in you and that Tenshi... A grown adult was the only one who truly cared about you?"

"You’re telling me that the only person you’ve ever felt any sort of affection from is a grown man who’s nearly a decade older than you?Do you even truly love him?” my eyes shot up to her as she said that, the last sentence catching my attention the most, “what’s that supposed to mean,” She looked at me with her now signature mocking smile. "I meant exactly what I said.Do you really love him...?" 

“Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?” I was very defensive now, how could she judge my love for him? And why was it affecting me? 

"Maybe you’re just saying you ‘love’ him, because you’re desperate for affection, and you think you can’t get it from anyone else your age so you’re trying to ‘make do’ with what you can get from someone older and your teacher, might I add,” a part of me is letting it sink in, do I really love him? I mean I do! Or do I? Am I conflicting things? Crap I’m not sure anymore. As I was going through my inner turmoil Tenshi came back. 

Tenshi walked back into the room, carrying a tray with 3 mugs of coffee on it. He walked over to the sofa and placed the tray on the coffee table in front of the sofa, then looked at the two of us "Here, I got the coffee," Tenshi took a seat down next to me on the sofa as he looked at the two of us  "So what were you two talking about?"

“Nothing important,” I said as I looked at the side away from both of them. Tenshi noticed me avoiding looking at the both of them, and he slightly narrowed his eyes in a confused manner, "It didn’t look like ‘nothing’" He looked at Ayame, and from his expression it was clear that he was silently asking what the two of them had talked about. Ayame let out a slight scoff before she answered him. "Oh, you know, We just had a little chat. I was just asking your little friend here some things.” I quickly got up, intending on exiting the situation as I grabbed my bag, “sorry I’ll be leaving,” 

"Huh? You’re leaving already?" Tenshi was surprised by me suddenly getting up and grabbing my bag. He looked at me with a confused expression. “Yea I am,” I looked back at ayame, “I’m May by the way, May Sakurajima,” 

"So that’s your name... May..." She said with a surprisingly sweet tone. 

“Thought I’d introduce myself cause you’ll see me more,”

Ayame chuckled a little at my statement. She looked over at Tenshi, and from the way she was looking at him you could tell she was expecting a certain response from him. She then looked at me “I’m Ayame, Ayame Suzuki,” 

I looked at her, before I quickly left the house, all I could think was, what the hell is wrong with me? 

Chapter Text

I ran as fast as I could out of the apartment, not even realizing the cold rain droplets hitting my body. I slowed down my pace after running a long time fully letting the heavy storm engulf me. While everyone else took out their umbrellas and took shelter I sulked a little, why did Ayames words hit me so hard? Why was I so affected? Why did I feel like it was a little bit true? 

Soon, the rain stopped hitting me and I saw a shadow over me. I was confused as I quickly turned around to see if the weather got better or if I’m going insane.

Then I saw Rei behind me, he was holding an umbrella over me.I’m assuming Rei saw me pathetically walking in the rain and came to make fun of me, although, his expression was sincere and almost sympathetic. He silently walked beside me with our shoulders slightly touching each other. The only sound that can be heard is the pitter-patter of the rain and the sound of my footsteps. I didn’t say anything, he just kept the umbrella above me to make sure I won’t get anymore drenched than I already was.

Soon I spoke up first “Why are you still here? with me I mean,” Rei glanced at me, hearing my question. "Idiot…what kind of question is that? I’m just…I’m here because I don’t want you to get sick from being drenched by the rain." I glared at him “but you hate me,” I responded back at this response which I frankly found, idiotic,”

He looked forward, not making eye contact with me, and spoke in a low and quiet but firm voice,"You really think I hate you?" I narrowed my eyes, “Well considering the last time we saw each other isn’t it fair for you to hate me,” 

There’s no denying that he was angry with me, I can see it in his eyes but I guess what angered him the most was ‘e chasing after tenshi-sensei. He spoke with a firm but quiet tone, looking ahead and still not making eye contact with me. "Just…just shut up. I don’t hate you…" he sighed and didn’t say much after that. The both of us just walk silently in the rain, neither one of us says a word. The only sound that could be heard is the sound of the rain and our footsteps on the sidewalk. We continued walking, each in our own thoughts. He glanced at me every few seconds, silently looking at my face before averting his eyes again. 

“Sorry,” I said without any other context, he let out a short scoff when he heard my words "Sorry for what? You have nothing to be sorry about." Rei said, still looking forward and not making eye contact with me. He kept the umbrella above my head as we continued walking. I finally looked at him, “Sorry for how I acted back in the hotel,” 

He let out another scoff and finally made eye contact with me "Tch…don’t apologize. You were acting the way you always do."

I looked directly into his eyes, “you're mad with me now but despite how poorly I treat you…you come back for me,” He spoke in a quiet and tired tone, staring deep in my soul, "Idiot don’t say that you just have no idea, okay? You didn’t treat me ‘poorly’,” I stopped walking for a minute as I looked up at him, he looked back at me confused for a moment before I spoke up, “I…well at least I think, I care about you,” I looked away while saying that last part.  

My words caught him off guard for a bit. He was surprised that I said I ‘care about him’. He faced me and spoke quietly while looking at me, studying my face,  "You ‘care about me’? Hmph, you’re a dumbass for only realizing it now,” he said bluntly with a bored expression on his face. I scowled at his unbothered expression as I was annoyed by the lack of reaction to what I found a big thing. “Excuse me?!?” I yelled out. 

Rei let out a scoff, looking down at me. I was standing in front of him with a slightly indignant look on my face. Hecouldn’t help but chuckle slightly, amused by my reaction. "Oh, shut up, you dumbass. You should’ve realized it months ago." I looked up at him, “you know I’m way smarter than you,” Rei smirked at my snarky remark, "Oh really? Is that so? And what makes you say that, smartass?" I scoffed at him and rolled my eyes, mainly jokingly, “I get better grades, I’m the student council president, I’m older than you,” I stepped closer to Rei. He raised an eyebrow as he noticed me stepping closer to him. He chuckled at the mention of my ‘superiority’.

"Ha! well, guess what smartass, I don’t care about your grades or your position as the student council president. And besides..."

He stepped closer, closing the distance between us, a smirk still plastered on his dumb face, "You may be a bit older, but I’m definitely wiser than you, dumbass."

I clicked my tongue, “Rei-Kun, you really are annoying,” Rei was clearly enjoying this banter with me. "Hmph, says the one who just went on a whole essay about how superior they are. If anyone is annoying, it's you May-san." I couldn’t help but blush a little, what was up with me? Rei chuckled slightly, noticing the faint blush on my cheeks. It was rare for me to blush, so it was kind of amusing to witness. "Aww, what’s that? You’re blushing now?" He teased , a smirk growing wider. I proceed to hit his chest from embarrassment. 

He let out a low chuckle after I hit his chest. It didn’t hurt at all, and it was kind of cute seeing me try to act tough, "Hey, don’t hit me like that, idiot." He said, still teasing me, the stupid smirk still plastered on his face. I continued to hit him, “dumbass,” To Rei I was being so cute right now, trying to act all tough while blushing furiously,  "Hey, hey, stop hitting me already. I’m just joking around, you know." 

I looked up at him still blushing but with a serious expression, my hair faintly falling infront of me. Seeing my serious expression, Rei felt a pang in his heart again. My hair was all messy from the rain, and the blush on my cheek was still there. I saw his smirk fading away, replaced by a more serious expression, "What’s up with that look? Why are you looking at me like that?" I looked down for minute, “I…I,” I couldn’t get the words out of me at that moment, eventually I just said “I want to go home, I’m just tired at this point,”

Rei nodded softly, understanding my exhausted state. It was late, and the both of us were still outside, walking in the rain. He could tell I was probably both physically and mentally tired.  "Yeah, I can tell, you must be exhausted after chasing that bastard teacher of yours around." Rei spoke in a quiet tone, still holding the umbrella above my head. Rei then held my hand. 

He silently held my hand without saying a word. My hand was so small and soft compared to his. I could feel his skin, still slightly damp from the rain, as I intertwined our fingers together. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of care and tenderness as he held his hand in mine. We continued walking, our hands still intertwined together, in comfortable silence. The rain was still pouring heavily, but we were sheltered under an umbrella. Our footsteps echoed in the empty streets, and the only other sound that could be heard was the sound of our breathing. Eventually I finally spoke up.

 “Rei-Kun,” 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard me call his name. He looked down at me. 

"Yeah?"

“Do you think…I’m lovable?” He was slightly taken aback by mh sudden question. He paused for a few seconds, thinking carefully about his response, looking into your eyes with a serious expression, “Of course I think you’re lovable, idiot. Why are you asking me such a dumb question?"

I looked straight ahead, “Just…a question,” 

I let out a soft sigh, still holding his hand. He could tell there was more behind my question but I’m not telling him. Rei spoke in a gentle and firm tone, looking at me with a serious expression.  "Just a question, huh? You’re lying. There’s more to that question, I know it. Don’t lie to me, idiot" I looked up at him, “I was just thinking, damn now let’s get me home,” 

I just nodded and kept walking home. 

The afternoon sun was glaring and the heat was getting worse as summer rolled around. I just entered the student council room to get my things and get going but I saw a Rei that was lounging comfortably on the couch in the student council room, flipping through a manga. “Rei-Kun what are you doing here?” I was subtly different, from my tone to how I present myself at least with Rei. as if I was letting my actual personality slip a little while talking to him. 

He raised an eyebrow slightly, noticing the subtle difference in my tone and demeanor. It was a little strange to be fair. Rei set down the manga and looked at me, a small smirk on his face. "What do you think I’m doing here? I’m just lounging around and reading a manga, idiot."

I walked up to him and I pulled his ear “idiot! Did you lose your respect?” Rei let out a sharp intake of breath when I pulled his ear. "Ouch! Ouch! Hey, what was that for, dumbass! Let go of my ear already!" I got mad and pulled harder, “It’s May-san to you!” He grumbled in pain as I continued pulling his ear, but he chuckled despite the pain."Okay! Okay! I get it! It’s May-san! Now let go of my ear already, damn it!" I let go and I proceeded to chuckle. Rei let out a sigh of relief when I let go of his ear. It was still smarting from my aggressive pulling. "Damn, you’re brutal. You don’t have to pull my ear so hard, you know. I rolled my eyes “just cause we’re kind of close now doesn’t mean you should lose your respect,” 

I looked straight at him, “Anyways changing topics last night why were you out in the rain,” Rei paused for a moment, surprised by the sudden change in topic. Although he should have expected me to ask sooner or later. Hey leaned back against the couch and spoke in a nonchalant tone.  "What, you want to know why I was out in the rain last night? I was just taking a walk, idiot. There’s nothing more to it." I walked over to my things, “Then why’d you come over to me?” Rei paused for a moment, he averted my eyes slightly and spoke in a casual tone. "I happened to pass by and saw you standing out in the rain. You looked like a drenched idiot, so I just decided to offer you my umbrella." 

I picked up my stuff, “ so we’re friends right?” He raised an eyebrow slightly at my question. I can almost hear him. Did he really need to ask that? Am I still doubting my intentions? Were the thoughts on his head. He spoke in a firm and sincere tone. "Of course we’re friends, idiot. Why do you think I’ve been putting up with your bullshit for this long?" I walked towards the door expecting Rei to follow, “Winter break is coming around, what are your plans?” Rei got up and followed behind me. 

He shrugged casually, as he got up and walked towards me "Winter break, huh? I haven’t really thought about it yet. I’ll probably just stay at home, lounge around, maybe play some games.” I looked back at Rei, “make sure to include me in those plans.” With Tenshi mostly out the picture I needed someone to entertain me over the Winter break. 

Chapter Text

Ayame made her way into my house, this usually not weird considering she would sometimes drop by to take things from my apartment or just to relax over, its annoying but I learnt to live with it. Although, its an issue when someone I didn't want to know about Ayame's existence is in the house with me.

I left Ayame and May to talk amongst themselves mostly cause I felt to awkward to join into the conversation. I went to make tea and when I went back to the living room May immediately got up. I was a little confused as I watched him leave, but he didn’t say anything. I just sat silently on the sofa, looking a little dumbfounded.  Ayame, on the other hand, looked satisfied that May had left. She looked at me with a mocking smile on her face. 

Well now that he’s gone, I can finally say what I really think about all this." She said, still looking at me. “And what’s that?” I asked with a somewhat cautious tone. I didn't know exactly what Ayame was about to say, but I could tell it was going to be something irritating. Ayame turned her body more towards me and spoke with a mocking and slightly sarcastic tone. "I honestly find it a little bit pathetic how you’re letting some teenager come over everyday and try to act all ‘affectionate’ with you. You want to know what I think? I think that you’re just letting yourself be used by him I think you should stop giving him all that attention, because it’s just making him more bold, and more possessive of you,"

"Possessive? He’s not possessive," I said as I clenched his jaw tighter. It really was irritating to hear how she talked about May as if she knew him better than I did. Ayame just rolled her eyes and continued speaking with an annoying tone. "He’s not possessive? Oh come on now, he so obviously is, I mean, look at the way that he was acting when I walked in. He wouldn't even let me sit next to you. It was like he wanted to make sure that he was the only one you were paying attention to,"                                                                                                                           "Of course he didn't want you to sit next to me he just didn't want you to be here. That's not him being possessive, that's him being protective, " i was starting to sound a little deluded, i was trying to ignore the obvious signs, I wanted to continue living in this denial. Ayame raised an eyebrow with a slight scoff. "Protective? Is that really what you’re going to say? He's not just being protective, he's obviously trying to prevent us from spending anytime together, because he’s jealous. Tenshi, do you love him?”

I clenched my jaw tighter and scowled as I heard her ask that question. From my reaction it was clear that I didn’t like being asked that. "Of course I love him I care about him, he's a great student, and we get along well but it's nothing like that," Ayame looked up at me and laughed "I mean do you love him, romantically?" 

I didn’t like how she was framing the situation, and I really didn’t like where this conversation was going. I could feel himself getting pissed off at her. “Romantic? Of course not. We don't have a relationship beyond that,” Ayame scoffed, “You really think that a normal teacher-student relationship is that close? You don’t think it’s weird for you as a teacher to be giving so much attention to one specific student, without giving the same amount of attention to the other?"

I looked very uncomfortable, "well whatever Tenshi, you should really think about your actions," Ayame walked over to the bedroom leaving me alone with my thoughts. After a while of sitting in silence I let out a heavy sigh and leaned back against the sofa. I couldn't stop thinking about everything Ayame said. Did I really give him too much attention? Was I going too far? I was confused, conflicted and irritated at myself for even questioning myself like this. It wasn't normal for me to care so much. 

The next time back at school I saw May at the side of the school building with Rei, which had became a common sight, I waited for Rei to leave before i approached May. May turned around to look over at me, "sensei...?" he managed to mutter out. I was holding onto Mays shirt silently staring at him. There was still that serious look on my face. I wanted to say something, but I was just being silent. My expression still serious before I forced myself to talk “Can I talk to you? About something really important,” I pulled him towards an empty classroom in the school. with a grip wrist on his grip, and I'm leading him until we are inside the room. I shut the door behind him before I let go of his wrist and stood in front of him.

Mays uniform was once again in its prim and proper state, not a crinkle or issue to be seen. I of course effort he had put into making the uniform look good, as usual. It would’ve been hard for anyone else to tell, but I could see the slight differences. I sighed silently, before I spoke up again. “I need to say something… and I need you to promise me that you’ll listen to what I’m about to say all the way through, ” I said seriously. I was a little Nervous? I was having a inner conflict, I didn’t know exactly how to put into words what I wanted to say. 

"Is it regarding what happened at your house?" May ended up speaking up first and making the first move. “Yes, it is It’s about what Ayame said yesterday,” I said seriously. "Well she was just spouting nonsense obviously to split us apart," clearly some of it did affect him cause he had to leave the place immediately. "I know she was saying nonsense but some of the things she said, It makes you think, doesn’t it?” I said with a slight pause. I was still conflicted about everything that she had said, and it was obvious that it really was affecting me, whether I wanted to admit it or not. "Have I given you too much attention?” It was the question that I was conflicted with the most. I wanted to trust him. I wanted him to be honest, I needed to be sure that everything was normal. May looked away, almost physically avoiding the question "if you did?" 

I could see how May was trying to avoid the question, It was pretty obvious. “You’re avoiding the question. Just answer it. It’s a simple yes or no question. Have I given you too much attention?” May snarked slightly,

“Would it be wrong to give me so much attention?,” I was a little taken aback, I was expecting a different answer I wasn’t expecting a question in return.  “That’s not what I asked. But to answer your question, yes, it is bad I think I’ve been giving you too much attention,” I needed to be a good role model for these kids, and how was I gonna do that if I’m constantly favouring May? “Well it’s true you give me more attention than others,” May replied back.

“Doesn’t it? If I’m giving you too much attention, then maybe I should…Maybe I should stop…” I was actually saying all of this, I was seriously contemplating if I needed to give him less attention. It was pretty obvious how hard this was for me. May looked at me rather surprised “why?”

I paused for a moment, looking at his expression. He looked a lot more surprised than I had anticipated expected.   “Why? You think I haven’t been wondering whether it was wrong to be giving you this much attention? You don’t think I’ve thought that it was wrong for me to treat you any differently than the other students?”

Our eyes finally met for the first time in the whole conversation. He was Caught off guard and clearly disoriented, his eyes widened and his breath hitched a little as he looked at me almost in a little bit of disbelief. “You don’t think I’ve realized that I’ve been more lenient with you? That I’ve been treating you differently than the other students?”

“But…but…it’s not a bad thing to give me all this attention,” May finally argued back. I paused once again as I look at him before shaking my head, “Yes, it is a bad thing to give you all this attention. I shouldn’t be giving you this much attention. That’s not the way adults and students are supposed to interact… It’s wrong for me to give you that much attention, that I know that for a fact…” I was speaking with certainty, with a serious and composed tone. I wanted him to understand how serious this was to me.

“But, your supposed to care for me, you were supposed to be with me all the time, you were supposed to always be with me, to treat me like your son, a son you can love,” May was getting more and more agitated, and more incoherent. I paused, as I was caught off guard by that response. It wasn’t what I was expecting at all but in a weird way I was beginning to understand his thinking,  “… A son I can love…?” I repeated that specific part of his response, and I was clearly stunned. It was the last thing I thought you would say.

“Do you seriously want to ditch me now? After everything that happened? This is like disowning your son,” May was desperately clinging onto any straws he could find. My expression becomes serious once again, and I clenched my fists tightly together. I was still fighting with myself but I spoke up in a more confrontational, and even irritated tone. “I never said I wanted to ‘ditch’ you. You’re not my son. I’m not your father. I’m your teacher, we are teacher and student. That’s where our relationship should stay.”

May was getting increasingly more angry, “But you already crossed the boundaries too many times, if anything we’re like a couple,” I clenched my jaw, that I couldn’t deny him on that part. It was true, I had crossed several boundaries. I had been doing things that a normal teacher should never do to a student. “We’re not a couple. You think that because I act so close towards you, treat you so differently from the other students, that we’re together, well we’re not.”

“Do you have any feelings for me at least?”

I clenched my jaw even tighter, and I continued to look at May with a serious expression. I didn’t respond at first, as I was trying to control myself, and what was going on in my mind. “You don’t know what you’re saying. I don’t have any romantic feelings for you. I don’t have any romantic feelings for anyone.” May wasn’t letting me off the look that easily, even though u looked clearly agitated, “and why is that?” Just like that I snapped. My tone suddenly becoming aggressive, and I ended up speaking before even thinking through what I said.  “Because I’m sick of caring, alright!? I’ve had enough of being in relationships! I’ve had enough of caring for others! I’m sick of being in relationships where I love someone more than they love me, or ending up hurt. So I’ve given up having any romantic feelings towards anybody!”

May looked at me this time with a bit of pity and a sense of sadness, “sensei…”

I suddenly stopped, and realized what I had said, and how I had snapped at him. I took a deep breath, and suddenly the serious, and irritated demeanor I had disappeared. I suddenly felt guilty for reacting like that towards him, especially when he didn’t do anything wrong, he just asked a question. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to yell at you…” I said as I sighed and leaned back against the wall. I couldn’t even look at him in the eye… He was feeling such soul eating guilt. May slightly stepped back. “Do you have space in your heart for me?” I went silent again. That question caught me off guard, and once again I was conflicted on how to respond. I wanted to say no I wanted to say that I didn’t have any space in my heart for him but looking at him, I just couldn’t do it.

“Did the last few months mean nothing?” I immediately closed my eyes shut as I heard you say that. I didn’t want to hear that, but it was true. The last few months had meant something to me, Which was why everything was so complicated. I had to fight my own feelings and thoughts whenever I was around May. “Winter break is coming up, will you even think of me then?” With every question May asked the more I found it harder to answer. My heart clenched in my chest as I asked that question. I thought about the answer in my head, but I couldn’t bear to say it out loud.

May just shook his head in disbelief as he walked to the door. I watched him and something within me started to stir. I wanted to pull him back, but I still couldn’t bring myself to speak up and say anything. the longer I watched him get close to the door, the more the need to say something, or to at least stop him somehow became more and more desperate.

May reached the door as he turned around “excuse me sensei” he said before leaving, Hearing the sound of the door closing, something in me snapped. My whole body suddenly felt like it was on fire, and as I stood in the empty classroom I suddenly felt so Helpless. It was like I was glued to the floor, as I was powerless to stop him.

Chapter Text

Winter break. It is currently very cold, the air feels almost suffocating, at least that's what it was like for me. I sat in my apartment, surrounded by nothing but an empty and silent apartment. I felt like there was nothing else around, and the silence was even more deafening. I was so bored. There was no sound besides the loud tick of the clock which I had tried to ignore, and I tried to focus on something else, but I just couldn’t… There was a certain “emptiness” that I felt. That I wanted to fill. Suddenly a knock was heard at the door, which immediately got my attention. I was snapped out of my thoughts, and I got up and went to the door and looked out the peephole. He had no clue who it could be. 

To my unfortunate dismay, it was Ayame. I was surprised and I wondered why she was there. I stood in front of the door for a moment, contemplating whether I should open the door or not. But after a minute I sighed and opened the door. “Ayame, what are you doing here?” I said as I raised an eyebrow. Ayame finally spoke up, "to check up on you, you didn’t reply to my texts," I sighed and looked to the side. I didn’t bother replying to her texts for a good reason. “Well, here I am. I’m alive, I’m fine. So, you can go back now," I went to close the door however, Ayame placed her foot on the door stopping me from closing it. I shot her an annoyed glare not appreciating her intrusion one bit. she just entered my apartment and went to make some tea. chrysanthemum to be exact. “You really don’t have any boundaries, do you?” she implied with a playful smirk, "I’m your ex-wife, I’ve seen everything about you, why would I have boundaries?"

She handed me the tea as she went to sit on the couch. I took the tea and followed suit to sit next to her. "So, what’s got you sulking like this?" she took a sip of the piping hot tea as she tried to pry her way into my brain, trying to find the root cause of my sultry. I avoided looking at her as I responded. “I’m not ‘sulking’ I’m just bored and tired," She simply raised an eyebrow at me, "Come on spill," I sighed and gripped the cup in my hands a little tighter. “It’s nothing really, I’m just bored and tired right now. there's nothing to talk about, really."

"It’s about the student, isn’t it?" she could pinpoint the issue almost instantly. I was a bit stunned that she immediately figured out the cause of his problems. I gripped the cup even tighter in my hands as I remained silent. "What's the kid's name again? May, was it?" I went completely numb as she said that name, and I was a bit stunned that she figured out who I was thinking about. But I kept his composure together, and tried to act like I wasn’t affected, but that was impossible. “Yeah…”

She leaned a bit closer before egging me on with more questions. "May rejected you or something?" I clenched my jaw tight, and I avoided eye contact as he replied. “No, it’s much more complicated than that.” I let out a deep sigh, and then I put the teacup down on the table and I finally looked up at her. She could tell that I wasn’t exactly in the mood for having to justify myself, and it was obvious on his face. She sighed, "You’re like a brooding teenage boy," I raised an eyebrow at her, and I let out another sigh as I leaned back against my couch, resting one of my arms on the armrest. “You’re comparing me to an overly hormonal teenage boy?”        "Well, you’re out here crying over a teenage boy soooo," she shot back. I looked at her with an irritated expression, and I clenched my jaw before I spoke. “Stop saying it like that, I’m not ‘crying over a teenage boy’. It’s more nuanced than that.” She sighed, "then tell me the nuance," 

I sighed and I rested my forehead on my hand, before looking back at her and finally being a bit honest with her. “I…I care about him; he means a lot to me. It’s all confusing, I feel like he’s the only one who truly understands me, and the only one who I feel like I can truly be myself with…” She curled her lip in disgust before uttering out the word "pedo..." I looked at her with a glare.  “Don’t say that. I didn’t say I felt any physical attraction. Don’t imply something that disgusting when you hear that I care about him,” "hmm, I’m kidding," I was still a bit irritated, but I sighed once again.  “I knew you were kidding but seriously, don’t say shit like that.” she turned to face me, clearly not taking my words to heart, "yes yes," 

"So then, why are you so affected by his absence?" thinking about the question made me realize how emotionally deep my issue was, “I care about him being around him makes me happy. When he’s with me I feel like I can forget everything that causes me trouble. I haven’t felt this happy in what seems like such a long time, and I never realized how much I needed him around me like that,” I sighed silently, and I gripped the side of the chair I was sitting in as I continued to speak.  “I was happy with how everything was between us. We’re teacher and student. It’s the way it should be but now everything feels so wrong. when he’s not with me, everything feels wrong...when he’s with me it still feels wrong… I hate it… I hate that I feel like this… It’s stupid.” Ayame slowly sat up ever so slightly more, "You always tried to repress how you feel," I nodded in agreement, but I was annoyed that I had to admit that. “I know I do but I’ve always just tried to ignore how I feel, it’s never worth the trouble to think about feelings, it’s pointless and it does nothing but cause more problems in the long run.” 

Ayame gave a gentle smile. "You’re secretly very caring and gentle, your heart is pure, but you try to suppress it until it gets too much to handle," I went silent for a moment, and I was stunned at how she figured me out so easily, it was like she could see right through me. I looked down and fidgeted with the cup in front of me. “Is it that obvious?” She sipped her tea, "I’ve known you since I was 16 Tenshi, it’s very obvious," I sighed. "I forget sometimes how much you’ve seen me through, and how much you know about me, It’s a bit annoying. You're able to see right through me so easily. It kind of feels like I have no secrets from you,” she smiled as he placed the cup on the table. "Just cause we’re not husband and wife doesn’t mean we can’t be friends," 

I rolled my eyes, but a slight hint of a smile appeared on my face, as I sighed. “Yeah, yeah I know we’re ‘friends’ now” I said sarcastically, but my tone was more playful. Ayame finished sipping her tea before saying “Also if you’re going to date may at least wait until he’s in college,” I shook his head and waved her off, clearly disturbed by the thought of it. “Don’t say it like that, I’m not going to date him. I’m his teacher. I have rules and morals I need to follow,” she leaned into her arm, “eh, what a good guy,” I could feel my eyes getting tired by how much I was rolling it to her words, “Yes yes, I’m a ‘good’ guy. I’m not some creep who dates their students…”

The more me and Ayame talked the more I got curious why I am like this. Why do I care so much about helping this one student, I could simply do my job of teaching him and mostly ignoring him afterwards. I have no reason to be like this.

Why…

The sounds of the kids running around from the playground got cut off by a sharp cry. My sharp cry. As I hollered on the ground holding onto my scraped bleeding knee, I looked up to see my dad running towards me. “tenshi! Are you okay?!?” in an attempt to run towards my dad, I fell really hard on the concrete ground, “hold on, let me patch you up.” My dad always carries around a first aid kid just incase, as a cop hes always prepared for the worst-case scenario.

He started to disinfect my wounds as I held onto his shirt desperately trying to be strong and not cry, though it was difficult not to as a 5-year-old kid. The alcohol being poured on my open wound felt like sharp knifes being pierced into my skin, the only reason I didn’t scream was cause of my dad soothing me, “there there we are almost done,” my dad is really strong and cool I want to be like him…Once he was done patching me he picked me up, “there that’s my strong boy,” he started to pinch my cheek, “come on lets head home,” my dad is very caring, he’s always protecting me, I want to care for someone the same way my dad does.

I stumbled out my bedroom one morning, dizzy as I entered the kitchen. “Hikaru, pass me the sugar,” “yes honey,” I watched as my mom called out for my dad as they were both cooking, I got closer making my presence known to both. “tenshi, you’re up late,” my mom told me before my dad replied, “we are making pancakes! Sit down and wait for us,” I smiled at them as I sat at the dining table.  

I watched them as I saw my dad holding my dad on her waist as he then kissed her cheek. My dad is always so loving to my mom. I want to love someone as much as my dad loves my mom.

I was playing with my actions figures with my dad. He always gets me the latest toys; he always wants to make me happy. As we were still playing my dad got a call as he left for a bit. As he returned, he looked at me dressed in his police uniform, “hey kid, I got called for an emergency, I will come home later,” I looked at him upset I didn’t want my dad to leave. My dad obviously saw this and gave me a soft smile, “hey I’m just going to go help some people, its my job.” I wasn’t convinced, “how about this kiddo, ill buy you some ice cream when I came back,” I lit up as my dad ruffled my hair and waved me goodbye.

My dad was always helping others. I want to be like my dad. I want to be kind.

I was running around the house wearing my dads police uniform, it was clearly very oversized on me, too big, not fitted at all. Before I could wreak havoc on everyone my dad saw me and picked me up swiftly, “what are you doing now my boy?” My dad ruffled my hair and kept messing around with me, “I’m a police officer! I’m going to help people the same way you do!” my dad was obviously very amused by this, “you know if you want to help people being a police officer isn’t the only way to help people,” I looked up at him, my eyes filled with joy and wonder, “but I want to be like my dad!” my dad chuckled, he couldn’t believe how adorable I was being, how much wonder would be in a child’s being, without any clue of life’s bitterness. “You could help people by being a doctor, a firefighter, maybe even a teacher,” I watched as he placed his police hat on me, “but whatever you do, I will always be proud of you,”

Proud of me, I wanted my dad to be proud of me, I wanted my dad to see the fine man I had become. I wanted him to be around forever, but nothing is forever.

At only 14, standing outside the Emergency room, watching the paramedic reel in a badly mutilated man, I stood, speechless, with my crying mother nest to me sobbing as if the world was going to end. It seems the man was my very own father though with the injuries it was hard to tell. I remember running over afterschool once I heard the news and now, I waited, hours and hours and hours before the doctor came up to us with head down. The lifeline fading out and now we are planning a funeral.

My whole world was now laying lifeless, and I came to realized how cruel the world was. My dad, nothing but a good man got in a car accident cause of a drunk driver, the driver, the irresponsible one survived and a regular person had to pay for his sins.

While I was staring at his casket at his funeral all I could think was how unfair everything was. What’s even the point of being good if everything would come crashing down over something so fucking dumb.

My mom was a mess, she didn’t even have time to pay attention to his son. All she could care about was her grieving, every chance she will bring up how my dad died, and how it’s a tragedy. She would neglect me in Favor of her precious husband. A part of me feels like she wishes I had been the one that died in the accident instead. Sometimes I wish I had died in the accident instead. I want to disappear…

My middle school years weren’t anything remarkable, I went from a social butterfly to reclused and a loner. I graduated with minimal friends and I’m not in contact with anyone in my middle school. Of course, I had maintained high grades, I was a smart guy after all, I could get into a prestigious high school one of the tops in Japan. My mother was happy, but I know she was only glad she could go brag to her friends about her successful son. I hated this school a little bit though, everyone was stuck up and snobby. I mean this is a private academy that only the brightest minds and people of Japan would attend, these people are the future, but man, were they a bitch.

I wasn’t rich, just average, middle class, I was effectively an outsider to these people. I couldn’t click with anyone I wouldn’t click with anyone; I was once again a jaded loner. I’m pretty sure they were talking behind my back, but I didn’t care.

It was one of those days, I had P.E but I didn’t want to attend, I didn’t care enough to attend and socialise with people. I snuck off into the school roof. My uniform sloppy, my collar up, my hair a mess, I didn’t look like one of the top students. As I walked up the roof, I saw someone there. Crap, It was a teacher, I tried to run off but it was too late, I was caught “what are you doing up here,” I watched as the teacher turned around to face me, Fukami-sensei was a popular teacher, always so kind, always so positive. I hated it, I didn’t understand how someone could be so positive all the damn time

“I’m here for fresh air,” I looked over at him, a little hesitant, “don’t you have class?” he called me out on it. I was screwed, I knew I was going to get in big trouble so I merely stayed silent, “ah, you probably came up here for a peace of mind, don’t worry I wont report you this time,” he gave me a warm and genuine smile, I couldn’t help but soften up, to feel softer around him. “hmm what’s your name student?” I was flustered and blushing, “a-ah, Tenshi…Tenshi Sakamoto…” he looked at me with the sweetest smile ever, “I see, nice to meet you Tenshi-kun!” My heart skipped a beat at that, why is he so sweet and kind to me? Everyone in this school considers me and outsider and is always looking past me…but not him.

As the weeks passed I noticed that Fukami-sensei would always approach and talk to me, how he’d always make me feel welcomed, “ah! Tenshi-Kun!” I watched as he walked up to me with a gleaming smile that could light up a room, “how was school?” I looked at him, while I had a rough exterior I still tried to reply kind, “ah, it’s okay I suppose,” Fukami-sensei pouted at that, he was adorable, “just okay? I’ll make sure it’s great! Come on, let’s go to the library!” I looked at him a little dumbfounded but he took my hand and dragged me but, I suppose I didn’t mind.

“Tenshi-Kun, your grades are atrocious these days you know?” “Ah that, sorry, home life has been hectic I don’t really have anywhere to study so I’ve been slipping, I’ll do better for the mid terms,” Fukami-sensei looked like he was thinking deeply, “hmmm tell you what, why don’t you study with me in my office? I can help you improve and such if you need, I’m pretty open you know?” I thought he was joking but he sounded serious…well, I wouldn’t mind being closer to him… so this started out weeks of spending time together, a lot of alone time.

He brought back the shine in my eyes, he brought back my will to try in life again, he is perfect in my eyes. “You know tenshi-Kun, you’re a really good kid, why don’t you join the student council?” I was with him in his office doing my math work when he offered, to me it didn’t make any sense to do that, why would I do that? “Huh? Why? I wouldn’t be that good,” “eh come on! You’re a good kid and you could excel in it. Just try it, I believe in you!”

I thought he was insane, cause he was, I’d never do such thing. Is what I said, but I’m currently hesitantly looking at the door of the student council room thinking if I should enter or not, eventually I pushed open the door.

I looked around and…there weren’t anyone? I looked at the couch and that’s when I noticed a girl sitting there, a pretty girl, long black hair, pretty blunt bangs, a properly worn uniform, “who are you?” She asked in an annoyed tone as she shot a glare at me, well she clearly wasn’t welcoming, “oh I’m here to join the student council,” she looked at me as if I said a really funny joke, something hilarious, but I was dead serious.

She stopped her chuckling when she saw my face, “oh, your being serious. You? Really your gonna join the student council?” Well I didn’t like her tone, nor anything else about her, “yes I’m very serious, Fukami-sensei told me to try out,” she looked at me a little wide eyed but composed back to a neutral tone and face, “very well, I’ll give you the form to sign up, and you are?” “Ah, Tenshi Sakamoto from class 1-A” “I see, I’m Ayame Hayashi, the secretary of the student council,” she handed me the form to sign up and I was going to be apart of the student council, all for Fukami-sensei.

As the months passed I kept doing better in class and got the top spot, I became the student council president, and well…I ended up dating and marrying Ayame, even though that didn’t last very long at all. Though all of this is thanks to Fukami-sensei, he helped me when everybody else didn’t believe in me, he made sure I could succeed and he actually made me succeed.

Now wearing my robe and cup I was going to give a speech to everyone as the valedictorian of class of 20XX. I looked over at Fukami-sensei before approaching him, “sensei,” he looked at me with the same gentle and sweet smile he always gives, “hello Tenshi-Kun,” I gave him the widest smile, a difference from the cold and standoffish attitude I gave when we first met, “I’m graduating! Though, it’s a little sad I’ll never see you again, thank you for everything,” he laughed at me, “I barely did anything, this is all you Tenshi-Kun,”

“Sensei, no need to be so humble, you’re the reason I was even willing to change my life around, without you I’d still be slumping around, you really helped turn my life around you know…,” he patted my head slightly, “Tenshi-Kun you’re a good kid, make sure you do something good and help other people too, I know you’ll do well,” his gaze soft and his smile mesmerising…sensei is amazing…I want to be like him, I want to help people, like my dad did, like Fukami-sensei did.

Then and there, I decided to be a teacher.

Thinking back to these memories, things definitely aren’t good now and it’s all messed up but I still live by these values, I became a teacher to help students. I want to help May. After all he’s just a hurting kid that acts irrationally, I believe in him and I believe he can do good. He’s not a problem child I or anyone should give up on

Chapter Text

“Yes, mom I ate today, don’t worry about me,” I entered my lone apartment as I laid the groceries on the table. My shoulder used to hoist up my phone to my ear and hold it in place as I called my mother. “Really Rei? I know its Winter break; you should come back home and visit us,” I was silent, I wanted to visit my parents but at the same time dealing with their overbearing nature and the way they helicopter me made me hesitant, “maybe if I’m free a lot of studying you know? Well, I will call you later mom,” I quickly ended the call to avoid the weird conversation of explaining why I won’t come. 

I sprawled on my couch as I just closed my eyes to think, “man I feel lonely,” I muttered to myself as I felt the cold fan wind blow onto my face blowing my fringe freeing my forehead. I was bored and I just wanted some company that weren’t trouble. 

I stared at my phone as I remember that I got May-sans number before summer break started. May…I wonder what he is doing. Eventually I texted him first. 

Ø  Rei: “May-san~ what are you doing?” I sent him followed by a cute sticker. 

Surprisingly, he replied immediately 

Ø  May: “studying, need something?”

Ø  Rei: "May-san? You're still studying? Even during break? Who studies during break? Shouldn't you be doing something fun?”

Ø  May: “I have college entrance exams soon, I’m a senior remember, you still have a year before you have to worry about that”

Ø  Rei: "Oh, right. You're an old man, senpai~ Still studying though? You're such a nerd. Can't you slack off sometimes? Like me?”

Ø  May: “Slack off and do what?”

Ø  Rei: "Hmm let's see. We could go to the arcade, cause trouble in the school, steal a guitar from the music room and just play it somewhere else, sneak out from the dorm at night to find a place to drink alcohol... and more!"

Ø  May: “well…” 

Ø  Rei: "Come on, May-san, Live a little. Break the rules for once. how about we go to your place?"

Ø  May: “…fine I’ll send the address,” 

Ø  Rei: “great! See you!” I sent him a smirking sticker before I grabbed my jacket to leave 

Surprisingly, May was a drier texter, at least compared to me, its quite cute. 

I was now in front of his house, which was in simple terms a huge Mansion. As I rang the doorbell May eventually answered. He was wearing sweatpants and a white corduroy sweater, his hair ever so lightly messy, his eyes piercing straight into mine, “welcome to my home,” May moved away to let me in, “ah, Thanks for having me!” I looked around the house. 

The large living room was spacious and cozy, furnished with high-end furniture. A large chandelier hung from the ceiling, casting soft light across the room. There was a massive sofa, a flat screen TV on the wall, and a modern fireplace in one corner. From the living room, one could look out through floor-to-ceiling windows. The kitchen was adjacent, complete with top-of-the-line appliances, while a grand staircase led to the upper floors. “don’t break anything,” May nagged me a little bit. “relax relax I won’t,” 

I stopped in front of a family photo hanging on the wall. I seemed rather interested as I observed the photo. It showed a handsome middle-aged couple, presumably May’s parents, and him, younger, standing between them. "Your parents…" I murmured, staring at the photo for a bit before looking back at him. May came over and stood next to me as he looked at the photo. "They look... nice" I continued to stare at his parents in the photo, trying my best to act casual before looking back at him, “You look a lot like your mom,” May kept looking at the picture, “I get that a lot,”

 I kept looking at May, he looked like my mom but he really…really was so beautiful. A whole other beauty compared to his mother, the black hair ever so slightly messy towards the side looking like he rolled out of bed, skin as white as snow with softness equivalent to winter, his eyes a big doe brown eyes like that of a deer his body frail and thin and yet that wasn’t the most beautiful thing about him, the way he spoke to me, the way his words were sharp, they way he melt into me…

I went and subconsciously went to reach out to him, to place his strand of hair behind his ear. May finally looked towards me, to finally noticing me, realizing that the winter melts to bloom spring air. “What are you doing?” May finally spoke up as I quickly retracted my hands. I was blushing and flustered as I tried to hide my face, “N-nothing!” 

May didn’t say much, “come on, lets go to my room there is more to do there anyways,” May started walking as I followed behind him. I entered right behind him, taking in his bedroom with a slow, lazy glance. It was large, with a king-sized canopy bed in the middle. Its walls were a soft cream colour that reflected the natural light coming through the large windows. There were a few framed photos on the shelves here and there, mainly consisting of shots of him and his family. The floor was hardwood, with a cozy rug near the bed. The bed had an array of throw pillows and a fluffy duvet cover. Overall, the room gave a cozy, but slightly opulent vibe.

I took a few steps forward and walked around the room, my casual manner belying my subtle curiosity. I glanced at the photos on the shelves before letting out a low whistle. "Damn. You live in luxury, huh, May-San? This room is bigger than the damn apartment." I plopped down onto his bed, making myself comfortable on the soft, fluffy duvet. I stretched out on the bed and let out a low sigh of contentment, clearly enjoying the feeling of the soft mattress. I let my arms rest behind my head in a relaxed pose, "Damn. I could sleep here for days and not get up." I said in a lazy tone before looking at him and gesturing for May to come over.  "Come here and lay down too. It's comfy."

I could sense Mays hesitancy but eventually he got closer and laid next to me, "You know, your bed is way more comfortable than mine. Maybe I should stay here instead of going back to my apartment." I chuckled and rolled onto my side, facing him while propping my head up with my elbow. May turned to look over at me, a neutral expression on his face.

I was taking in every detail of his features as my eyes wandered over him. "You look different like this. More... vulnerable." I said quietly, the sound of his voice almost blending into the soft, peaceful atmosphere of the room. It was a rare moment of sincerity from me. “you’ve gotten more comfortable with me,” May said softly.

I gave a low chuckle and a small smirk before nodding slightly. I shifted my body a little closer to him, the casual proximity between May feeling oddly natural at that moment "I suppose I have. You're the first person I've met who doesn't just get annoyed instantly by my bullshit." I said, a hint of humor in my tone. I then reached out and ruffled his hair playfully "Although, you're still a pain in my ass sometimes." I just felt more comfortable as I leaned down and laid on his shoulder.

I started to melt into his skin, the softness was sucking me in as I felt myself drift off into his warmness. I got closer as I moved to his chest and snuggled in him. I wrapped my arm around his waist as we shared body heat. My fingers tracing small patterns on his skin. 

“Did you just come to my place to rest?” I nodded lazily, my cheek rubbing against the fabric of his shirt. "Mmm, your bed's comfortable... and warm." I mumbled quietly, my voice sounding a little sleepy and relaxed. I shifted again, wrapping my leg around his and tangling them together lazily. "You smell good..." I murmured softly, my words starting to slur slightly due to my sleepy state.

May looked down at me, “come on wake up it’s the afternoon,” I finally lifted my head off Mays shoulder and began to look around the room again, my movements somewhat sluggish due to my half-asleep state. My gaze landed on his video games pile, and I let out a low hum of interest "Oh? You play games, huh?" I said, my sleepy eyes looking at Mays collection with more alertness. I slowly sat up on the bed and looked over to take a closer look at his games. “I’m still a teenage boy of course I play,”

I looked at the case for a few moments before holding it up with a sly grin. "Ooh, Devil May Cry. I haven't played this one in ages. I had the second one on my old console, but the damn thing broke a few years back." I looked at him with a teasing glint in my tired eyes. "Do you happen to have a console as well, May-san?" I watched as May took a console from under the tv, “here it is,”

“I'll wipe the floor with you. Just you watch.” I popped the game into the console and grabbed a controller, sitting down on the floor with a confident slouch. I turned to him with a smug expression "You better get ready to lose, May-san." “Oh yeah? I would like to see you try,” May gave me a smug smile as he sat next to me. 

we ended up playing for a long time and May ended up winning. I let out an exaggerated huff as the screen displayed Mays victory, "Pfft. You got lucky. I was going easy on you." I set down the controller on the bed, trying to brush off the fact that I just lost to him. A slightly sulky look was present in my eyes, despite my confident front. I side-eyed him while crossing my arms over my chest. "Bet you cheated." May scoffed with an arrogant air, “I’m really good at video games you know?”

I gave him a skeptical sideways glance, my competitive nature making me refuse to admit defeat easily. "Oh, really now? You think you're just sooooo good at games, huh? We're playin' again. Best of three."I grabbed the controller with renewed determination in my eyes, already setting up another match without waiting for a reply. "I'm gonna destroy you this time. You were just lucky before." May chuckled at my, “I’d like to see you try,” we ended up playing many rounds and I, well, lost all of them.

I groaned in frustration as the last game ended with my victory again. I threw the controller down on the bed and flopped backwards, laying on the mattress with a huff of irritation. "This is bullshit. I'm just... having an off day. That's all." I muttered defensively, even though I had lost every single match. There was a pouty look on my face as I glanced up at the ceiling, refusing to admit that May was simply better than me at video games. I started to hear subtle sounds of laughter as I turned to around to look at May who was laughing aloud, “man you really suck!” May shouted out at me. "Shut up, I don't suck. I just..."

I let out a soft sigh, my competitive spirit subsiding as I looked over at his laughing, relaxed form. I rolled onto my side, propping myself on his elbow as I gazed at him with a mixture of amusement and something soft in my tired eyes. "Yeah, yeah... rub it in my face, why don't ya." I mumbled in a mock-grumbling tone, but there was a hint of fondness in my voice as I looked at him. Despite my usual arrogant demeanour, I couldn't deny that he felt oddly comfortable in Mays presence too.

May looked over at me with a gentle smile, “Rei-Kun are you hungry?” I paused for a moment, my stomach letting out a loud grumble at the question. I smirked sheepishly and rubbed the back of my neck. "Uh, yeah. I guess all that ass-kicking you gave me burned some calories. I am kinda hungry now." I replied, my ears turning slightly pink at the embarrassing sound of his stomach's growl. May chuckled, “I’ll get us something,” May stood up to go to the kitchen and get us something and got nosy.

Being naturally curious and having nothing else to do while alone in His room, I decided to kill time by poking around his belongings. I started by exploring his bookshelf, skimming through the titles on the shelves and running my fingers along the spines of the books. I then moved on to the desk, taking a look at the scattered papers and random trinkets, he had on there, my cat-like curiosity getting the better of me. "Hmm... wonder what kind of weird stuff you're hiding in there, May-san."

I opened the doors rummaging through it as I froze momentarily. My fingers brushed against something in the drawer that definitely wasn't a notebook or some school materials. My eyes widened for a second when I realised what it was, a mix of surprise and curiosity passing over my face. My cheeks flushed faintly, despite my usual bravado.

“Oh...”

“Oh…”

I whispered under my breath, my fingers lingering over the small box of condoms for a beat too long.

Soon May entered the bedroom again holding a tray of snacks and drinks, “what are you doing?” I snapped out of it momentary shock upon seeing him enter the room, quickly closing the drawer with the condoms. "Oh-! Uh, nothing." I answered a bit too quickly, my voice slightly higher than usual. I casually leaned against the desk, trying to act nonchalant, but there was still a faint pink tint on my cheeks. May placed the snacks and drinks on the tables, “ah you found my condoms,” May seemed rather calm and nonchalant.

I felt his cheeks flush even more at his casualness about the topic, but I quickly tried to regain my confident composure. I let out a lazy chuckle and crossed my arms, trying to sound nonchalant. "Yeah, I kinda noticed that... So, you're just storing them in your nightstand, casual as hell, right next to your textbooks or...? I said, a smirk on my lips despite the blush on my face, my curiosity getting the better of me again. “Why are you flustered? I know your not a virgin after all,” a scowl crossed my face as I rolled my eyes, a mix of irritation and slight embarrassment in my expression. I huffed and looked away.  "Yeah, yeah, I'm not a virgin. Obviously." I retorted, my tone defensive. I blush deepened slightly at the mention of my own sexual experience, but I quickly shifted the focus back to me. "But why you're just casually storing them in the nightstand like it's no big deal? You got a whole lotta luck going on or somethin'?"

“Well, I mean aren’t we gonna use them later?” May asked me curiously, my eyes widened in surprise at his blunt statement, my cheeks turning a deeper shade of red at his implication. "W-what? Hold on- what do you mean we're gonna use them later?” I stammered slightly, my usual cocky demeanour faltering under his straightforwardness. I looked at him with a mix of shock and surprise, my heart rate quickening at the thought of... well, the implications of his words. “If we aren’t gonna sleep with each other why ask to come to my place?” May looked at me confusingly, “Everyone has ulterior motives with me, it’s a given that every guy I bring to my place ends up sleeping with me,” I felt a twinge of irritation at his words, my eyes narrowing slightly as I took a step closer to him. "Is that right? So, you think I'm just like every other guy, huh? You think I'm just here to... *sleep around* or something like everyone else?" I asked, my tone a mix of irritation and something else, a slightly possessive edge to it as I looked into his eyes.

“They only want to hang out for sex, I thought that’s what you wanted too,” May looked up at me for a minute. I let out a frustrated huff, shaking my head as my irritation visibly grew. I took another step closer, now standing right in front of May, my eyes locked onto him."No. That's not what I want. Damnit, can't you say that I'm not just here for that?" I snapped, mh voice filled with both irritation and a hint of hurt at his assumption. I clenched my jaw, the idea of being lumped in with all those other guys pissed me off. May looked up at me with a genuine expression. I felt my irritation slowly fade away as Mays soft expression met my gaze. My breath hitched slightly as I looked into his eyes, the anger in my expression softening to something more vulnerable and conflicted. I took a shaky breath as I tried to find my words.

"Damnit..."I muttered under my breath; my eyes locked onto his with a mixture of confusion and something softer. "I'm not like them. I don't just want to sleep with you. Is that really so hard to believe?" to my surprise, May got on his toes and cupped my cheeks, “well, I’d much rather just hang out and spend time with you,” I felt a flutter in my chest as May cupped my cheeks, my irritation disappearing completely. "Yeah. Yeah, that's all I want too..." I mumbled softly.

I stepped even closer to him, my body pressing lightly against his as I wrapped my arms around May in a gentle hug. I rested my chin on top of May head, holding him close as I inhaled deeply, the scent of him soothing my frayed nerves."You don't have to put up walls with me, y'know... I won't treat you like everyone else does..." I mumbled quietly, my voice slightly muffled as I nuzzled on his head into your hair, my embrace firm and reassuring.

“How do you even know I’m putting on a mask and this isn’t exactly how I’m like,” He paused for a moment. I started considering my words as I looked at him with a slight frown. I tilted my head slightly, my eyes studying him with a mix of thoughtfulness and curiosity.  "You do have a point there... I guess I do not really know how you are like normally. But something tells me you are not the type to open to just anyone. You seem... guarded." I said with a hint of curiosity in my voice, my eyes still fixed on him as he searched my face for any signs of vulnerability beneath his usual demeanour.

“And how would you know that?” May asked me as he raised an eyebrow. I shrugged slightly, my gaze steady as I continued to study Mays expression. I took a moment before speaking, my tone somewhat softer than before. "I don't know, call it intuition. You hold yourself in a certain way, like you're deliberately trying not to show too much. Your words say one thing, but your eyes... they give off a different vibe. Like you've got layers that you're not letting people see. You're guarded for a reason. I can tell."I explained, my eyes never leaving his as I tried to discern what was beneath Mays guardedness.

“Are you tryna psychoanalyse me?” Mays tone was flippant, but his vitriolic glare suggested he was serious. "Oh relax, I ain't psychoanalyzing you. Just making an observation. You don't exactly make it hard to tell. You're not as good at hiding things as you'd like to think." I said bluntly, unflinching under his vitriolic glare. My own expression was a mix of irritation and mild amusement, clearly not backing down from challenging his guarded attitude.

I got closer as I started to caress Mays hand, gently rubbing my thumb on his palm. My expression softened as I started caressing his hand, I watched as his irritation faded slightly at the soothing gesture. I looked down at our intertwined fingers. I held his hand firmly, my grip warm and gentle as I responded.  "Y'know, you don't have to keep acting all tough and distant all the time..."I muttered lowly, my voice softer now as I let down my guard just a bit in the moment, giving in to the unexpected comfort of Mays touch.

“Rei-Kun..?”

"Yeah? What is it?" I responded with a soft, slightly vulnerable tone, my grip on his hand subconsciously getting a bit tighter as I waited for him to speak.

Before May could continue, I jolted slightly at the sudden interruption of my phone's ringing, my attention momentarily diverted from his hand as I let out a grumble of annoyance. I fished my phone out of my pocket, glancing at the screen before silencing it with a huff. "Ugh, who the hell-..." I muttered irritably, the peaceful moment between the two of us disrupted by the annoying intrusion of my buzzing phone.

“You should pick it up,” May sort of demanded me. I sighed and looked at him with a conflicted expression, a note of disappointment in my eyes. He didn't want to break the moment either, but the persistent ringing was driving him crazy. "I guess... I should see who tf is calling. Just... give me a second" I reluctantly let go of his hand and answered the call, holding the phone up to my ear with a slightly irritated expression. May looked over my phone to see it was my mom calling as I exited the room to answer it.

Of course, the call was the usual, “yes mom I’m fine,”

“Yes, mom I’ve eaten and I’m not in trouble, I’m at a friends house,”

“I’m not doing anything with that friend he’s a guy, we’re just hanging out,”

It was the usual pushy and helicopterness that I’m used to at this point. Seriously, if she wanted to keep track of me 24/7 she shouldn’t have let me move out.

I slumped back into the room with a weary expression, running a hand through my hair. "Ugh, my mom keeps nagging. She's just worried I'm out getting into trouble or whatever. Heh, if she only knew what I'm currently up to." I flopped back down onto the soft bed, glancing over at him with a slight smirk on my face, my earlier vulnerability giving way to cheeky humour.

“Well, I mean that’s a fair concern knowing the kind of person you are, your moms probably worried you were or it for a long time, you should get going back home,” May tried to rationalize with me. "Ugh, you're right. I really should head home before she freaks out more. But..." I trailed off for a moment, my expression conflicted. I didn't want to leave, but he also didn't want to face the inevitable lecture from my mother about being out late. I let out an exaggerated sigh, reluctance clear in both my expression and voice.

May ended up walking me out the house, “hey Rei-Kun?” "Yeah...?

“Thanks…for today,” May said a little sheepishly.

My expression softened at his words, a small smile appearing on my lips. A hint of warmth flickered in my eyes as I met his gaze. "Heh. It's all good, no need to thank me." I replied coolly, a faint blush dusting my cheeks despite my nonchalant tone. I scratched the back of my neck slightly, looking away for a moment before looking back at him with another small smirk. "But y'know... I wouldn't be opposed to hanging out like this again." “oh, really now?” "Hell yeah. We don't gotta do anything fancy or whatever. Just hanging out, like this. It's... nice." I said with a hint of sincerity in my voice that contradicted my usual cocky demeanour.

May smiled at me sweetly and almost shyly, it was cute. "You know, you got a pretty smile when you actually bother to show it."I said matter-of-factly, my tone slightly teasing, though there was a softness in my gaze as looked at him, the usual cockiness tempered by a hint of genuine sincerity beneath. “Yeah well unfortunately I can’t really bother much,” May and I were standing close…like real close…there was barely any room for Jesus.

May looks up at me with heavy breathing as my gaze flickered over him, roaming over his body, “your close,”

“I am, aren’t I? May-san,” I said with a touch of playful arrogance, my voice dropping to a lower, huskier tone.

May leaned closer, I on the other hand just stepped back respecting Mays personal space, “well, I’ll get going home now may-san! Wouldn’t want my mom to worry,”

May almost looked dejected and shocked but he brushed it off. “Right see you around, Rei-Kun,”

I waved him bye as i walked away. Once I was away from eyeshot I leaned against a wall, my hoodie over my head and my face blushing a shit ton as I covered my mouth. I almost kissed May over there…more so…I think May wanted a kiss but fuck I rejected it.

“Ahhhhh Rei you idiot you missed the kiss of the century! Stupid idiot…”

I was lowkey crashing out and losing it but then I made a promise to myself, “May-San one day…I’ll steal a kiss from you,”

Chapter Text

Rei-Kun didn’t want me…I can’t believe it. He came to my house, and not only did we note sleep together he didn’t even kiss me before he left! I essentially humiliated myself for no reason at all. I stumbled into the kitchen as I frantically looked through my drawers. I was breathing heavily, and I held onto my head as I stumbled around to find it.

There I got it, I picked it, my penknife. I didn’t understand it…I was beautiful and agreeable was I not? I started to spiral as I started to question if Rei loved me or if I was just platonic. I sat on my bed as I held the knife onto my thighs, and I took one swift cut. I was getting bloody, but I didn’t stop I kept going. Moving up from my thighs to my wrists. God knows how worthless I felt. If someone wouldn’t want me for my body, why else would he want me? My personality? No way. I was disgusting and vile and disturbing.

My prim silk bedsheets were getting bloody as I slumped onto the bed. My open wounds stung but at least I could feel something. Sensei…Tenshi-Sensei…at least him, I know he’ll love me for my personality. Sensei…I won’t be disappointed with him.

“I miss sensei…” I muttered to myself before I got up to clean up my wounds.

The Christmas Day sun was shining through the window, casting a warm glow over the room. The clock rang out the time, each chime reminding me of my solitude and the emptiness of my home. I had spent the day lounging on my bed, hoping to hear the sound of the front door opening and my father finally arriving home. The hours passed by, and the sun began its slow descent towards the horizon, setting the sky ablaze with a beautiful array of colors. I continued to sulk in bed, the silence of the house deafening and the absence of my father heavy on my heart.

I got out my bed as I took my red coat and my white beret as I left the house. The cold air greeted me, a gentle breeze rustling the trees. I started to walk, not exactly knowing where I was going. The snow crunched beneath my feet. As I looked up at the towering Christmas tree, I couldn't help but admire its dazzling lights and delicate decorations. The tree was surrounded by a large square filled with people shopping for Christmas presents, their conversations creating a soft hum in the background. The atmosphere was filled with a cheerful energy, and some of the nearby shops were playing festive music on their speakers. I realized that I had reached Tokyo Dome City, a popular spot during the Christmas season. 

As you walked around the square, I noticed some of the people around me smiling and enjoying the holiday spirit. Kids were laughing, parents were pushing strollers, and couples were holding hands, their faces shining with happiness. I felt a pang of loneliness as I watched them. A small group of friends passed by, their laughter filling the air. They were clearly out to share a fun evening together, their conversation flowing seamlessly from one topic to another. Some of them were carrying shopping bags filled with gifts, and others had hot drinks in their hands. You couldn't help but feel a sense of envy for their friendship and joy. The cold air seemed to bite deeper as I watched them laugh and share stories, the contrast between my loneliness and their connection becoming more painful.

As I was lost in thought, I suddenly heard someone call my name. I turned around, MY eyes scanning the crowd. Someone had called out to me. Tenshi had spotted me in the distance, and he had called my name. He was making his way through the crowd towards me. He had a warm smile on his face, his eyes scanning my cold and lonely figure as he approached me. "sensei...?" Tenshi's smile widened as he finally reached me. He had to navigate his way through a few more people, but he had finally reached me. "You're out here all by yourself on Christmas Day?" Tenshi asked softly, noticing my red coat and beret in the chilly weather.

I simply nodded, Tenshi's expression darkened slightly as he looked at me. He could see the loneliness in my eyes and the way I was wrapped in my coat, my beret doing little to protect me from the cold. "Where's your family? Your friends? Shouldn't you be at home enjoying Christmas with them?" He asked, a hint of concern in his voice. 

All I could do was let out a bitter laugh, "hahaha, no family or friends sensei," Tenshi looked at me with a gentle expression, his eyes filled with concern. "You shouldn't be alone on Christmas." He hesitated for just a second before continuing— "...Would you like to grab some hot chocolate? My treat." Tenshi's gaze softened, noticing your hesitation. "Come on, I'm not kidding. You shouldn't be spending your Christmas alone like this. Let me order you some hot chocolate." He said it with a gentle tone, gesturing to a nearby café. "What do you say?" I smiled as I followed him, who am i to say no?"

As I followed Tenshi, he led me into the cozy café. The warm air from the hearth and the Christmas decorations made the atmosphere inviting. A smell of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods filled the air, and the sound of Christmas carols played softly in the background. Tenshi carefully made his way out of the cafe, carrying two hot chocolates in his hands. He held one out to me, a soft smile on his face. As I left the café, the cold air met our faces once again. I could feel the snowflakes touching my skin, but it was tolerable with the warmth of the hot chocolate in my hands. Me and Tenshi started to walk side by side, sipping on our hot chocolates.

”sensei are you alone as well?” smile faltered for just a second, but he quickly recovered."Ah, yes, I'm alone too." Tenshi replied quietly, averting his gaze from me for a brief moment."I don't have any family or friends to spend Christmas with." Tenshi glanced at me, his eyes meeting mine as I looked up at him. I had a sympathetic expression on my face, and he felt a small pang in his chest.

He had always put on a strong face in front of others, but here he was, opening up to me about his loneliness on Christmas."I know it sounds sad, but I'm used to it by now, you know?"

I couldn’t help but laugh at this, “pffp hahahaahaha look at us both alone,” Tenshi chuckled softly, his smile returning."Yeah, I guess we're both in the same boat. Two lonely souls on Christmas Day."He took another sip of his hot chocolate.

I took his hand, “come on, let’s go on our own Christmas date,” Tenshi nodded, the smile still on his lips."I think I like the sound of that. A Christmas date, just the two of us, without any family or friends. It has a certain romance to it, doesn't it?"He let out a soft laugh, then took another sip of his hot chocolate. “Right isn’t it hehe,” 

Me and Tenshi had made it to a photobooth, its warm neon lighting casting a soft glow on our surroundings. The small booth was decorated with Christmas lights, adding to the festive atmosphere. Tenshi smiled and gestured to the inside of the booth. We both climbed inside, side by side, waiting for the shutter of the camera to click.

The photobooth spit out a strip of four small photos, each one capturing a different moment of your Christmas date. As I looked over the photos, Tenshi chuckled, pointing to one of them. "Look, we both look so awkward." “But still, aren’t they so cute?” Tenshi laughed and nodded his agreement, looking at the photos again. They were, in fact, quite cute."I think I might keep these pictures." He said, his fingers gently touching one of the photos. 

Tenshi had quickly snatched the photo out of the photobooth, his smile still in place. Me and he both laughed as we left the photobooth and began to walk again, with the photo still in Tenshi's hand. He looked at me, his eyes gleaming with mirth."I'm definitely keeping this."

Tenshi held on to the photo as we continued our  stroll through the snowy city center, the shops and cafes still bustling with holiday spirit. It had begun to snow gently, the snow lightly falling and covering the ground in a gentle white blanket. Tenshi looked up at the sky, admiring the snowflakes as they fell. As I lifted my gaze, I looked up at the gently falling snowflakes that sparkled in the light of the shops and street lamps. Tenshi took a deep breath, the cold air filling his lungs. The city seemed so peaceful and beautiful at this time of year. He looked at me, noting the way the snow dusted my hair and coat.

Tenshi smiled, his eyes roaming over my face and the snowflakes that had landed on my coat.He cleared his throat and spoke, his voice soft and low."You have some snowflakes on your coat." I looked towards him, “oh do I?” Tenshi nodded, his gaze still fixed on my coat."Yup, some of them have landed on the fabric. I can see a few on your hair too." I looked up at him, “you have them too,” 

Tenshi chuckled, realizing that I had a point. He did have snowflakes on his own coat and hair as well."Yeah, I suppose I do. I didn't even notice, I was too busy looking at yours." He admitted, his smile softening.

I felt sly, I wanted to tease him a bit more, I smirked, “you know a lot of couples go out to hotels on christmas,” "Oh? So I'm assuming you're hinting at something?" He asked, his voice a playful banter. He knew exactly what you were implying, but he wanted to hear you say it. “maybe~,” I replied as I looked at him. 

Tenshi smirked, his gaze still fixed on me. He was clearly enjoying the playful banter between us both."get your head out the gutter kid." he flicked my forehead. “Ow!” I held my forehead at that, “your so mean sensei,” Tenshi chuckled softly, his eyes still sparkling with mirth. "Stop being so cheeky then." He retorted, his smile widening.

Tenshi and I continued walking through the snowy city center, our hands intertwined in a warm embrace. The shops were adorned with Christmas decorations, and the sound of Christmas music filled the air. The snow continued to fall, creating a cozy and festive atmosphere. Tenshi glanced at me, his gaze soft and warm. He had my hand held firmly in his own, his fingers laced with mine. 

“Hey, May about what happened before Winter break,” I could tell the conversation was taking a serious turn,

My heart was racing, my palms felt sweaty, and my chest felt so tight he was barely even breathing. I was worried about what he’d say, “I’ve thought a lot about what I said, but I’ve also thought about what you said. That conversation really affected me,” He was still looking at me directly in the eye, but he was trying his hardest not to look deep into them.  “Before I said those things I should have been more careful with what I said. I should have thought about the impact it would have on you. I’m sorry,”

I immediately relaxed at that and went back to the cheerful and cool persona I created for myself. Thank God Sensei only wanted to apologise. Anything else and I would have ended throwing up. Tenshis voice cracked a bit when he said that, and he knew just how much the words he had said before had actually hurt me. He was trying to hold back all of his own conflicting emotions, which only made it even harder to keep his voice from cracking, or even from completely breaking down, “The words I said were said in haste. I had a lot of things running through my head, and I let those words slip out before I thought about what it would do to you,”

“Hmm” I said as I rolled my face a little, trying to act a little aloof, Tenshis heart was beating so loudly, it felt like it was going to burst out of his chest.  “I’m sorry about before… I’m s-”

“Apology accepted,” I said as I ate the sushi. Tenshi-sensei on the other hand looked at me dumbfounded. “Apology accepted? Just like that? No fighting or anything or…?”

I shook my head, “if you’re willing to apologise then I have no reason not to accept,” I smiled at him, “but sensei, you shouldn’t be so mean to me,” I huffed cutely as I smiled at him. I jumped up and I hugged his arm, “I’m just a sweet boy,”Tenshi looked down at me as he patted my head, “yes yes,” 

Chapter Text

Eventually the Winter break came to an end, and it was time for school again. I was walking around campus as I spotted Tenshi-Sensei. I ran up to him as I hugged his arm, “sensei!!! I missed you; did you have a good break?” I asked him with the widest smile ever, grinning ear to ear as if all that mattered was him. “May? Ah yes, I had a good break,” Tenshi went and patted my head as we walked together.

I turned and i saw Rei eyeing me with disdain in his eyes. Rei didn't bother to look away as my gaze met his, his eyes still fixed on me with a mixture of irritation and possessiveness. I held his gaze for a few moments, his expression slightly hard, the irritation in his eyes still simmering beneath the surface. He made no effort to hide his feelings, his gaze unwavering as he watched me with a hint of disapproval and frustration. I however, didn’t pay mind to this and simply turned away.

It was later during lunch break and Rei was with his friends in class as he was hanging off the chair almost not paying attention to his supposed "friends". I decided to go pay him a visit, naturally, even if me and Rei are close now, I still have to keep tabs on him incase he rats on me about Tenshi-sensei and me. And plus, that disdain he showed me today was way too interesting

I overheard him and his friends “Ehhh, you know there is a mixer happening soon! There are gonna be so many cute girls from daichi academy there!” Rei didn’t really care too much, none of that sounded appealing. It seemed boring and all that socialising. Too bothersome.

I ended up crashing their convo as I placed my arms on the desks the were talking at. "Eh a mixer? sounds fun" of course the boys were a little surprised were stumbling when they realized I was now talking to them with my wide smile making me look innocent and approachable. Afterall it isn't everyday when the perfect student council president would talk to them.

Their gaze flickered to me as I interjected into the conversation, a flicker of surprise crossing their face. The boys their initial shock giving way to pleasant surprise and excitement as they realized who they were talking to. Eyes widened and jaws dropped slightly at the unexpected sight of the president speaking to them so casually. Of course, I knew I was someone people in this school looked up too. Though Rei didn’t seem very impressed with my presence.

One of the boys, the group's self-proclaimed leader of sorts, recovered the fastest from the initial surprise and spoke up first, a slightly nervous but eager expression on his face. "Uh, yeah! The mixer. You, uh... You are thinking about coming, Sakurajima-senpai?" I shrugged slightly, “why not, will Rei-kun be going?” I looked at Rei. The question caught him off guard, his eyes widening in surprise as I suddenly turned to address him directly. he responded with a casual shrug, "Yeah, probably. Not like I have anything better to do."

I felt a little pang of jealousy at that, why would Rei want to go to a mixer and date people? “Then I will definately come!” The boys' excitement grew at my confirmation, their expressions lighting up at the thought of both me and Rei attending the mixer party. The leader of the group, now emboldened by my presence and the prospect of my attendance, spoke up with renewed confidence. "Awesome! It'll be awesome with you there, Senpai! We will make sure it's a really fun night!"

“Actually, i came here to steal away my Rei-kun,” I said with a teasing smile and my eyes closed. A subtle flash of surprise flickered across his face, followed by a faint hint of annoyance as his friends snickered audibly at my declaration. "Excuse me, 'your Rei-kun'? Since when am I your property?" He retorted; his voice laced with a mix of teasing irritation and amusement at my boldness. “come on come on dont be like that r-ei-kun!” I slightly hit his back as I emphasised the ‘Rei’ part.

I took his arm and dragged him to the door before I turned around to face the 2 boys. “I will return him later,” I stuck my tongue out playfully. Rei let out a small noise of surprise as I suddenly grabbed his arm and began dragging him towards the door, his feet stumbling slightly as he tried to keep up with my pace. The two boys stared at us both, their eyes wide with a mix of disbelief and envy as I took off with him in tow. "Hey! Wait— Goddammit.” Rei grumbled in protest, his words carrying a hint of irritation as I practically manhandled him away from his friends and out the door.

We ended at a vending machine away from prying eyes as i handed him a soda. “You were giving me and Sensei pretty dirty looks,” I said as I opened my own can. Rei accepted the soda with a reluctant grumble, his eyes narrowing slightly at my comment. He sipped from it before letting out a huff, his gaze fixed on me with a mix of irritation and defensiveness. "Yeah, well, you were hanging onto his arm like some sort of lovesick puppy. Can you blame me for being a tiny bit irritated?" “hm whats with the irritation?”

Rei kept his gaze averted, his voice carrying a hint of annoyance and something darker - a mix of possessiveness and jealousy. "Don't play dumb. You know damn well why I'm irritated. You were all over that damn teacher, grinning at him like some lovesick idiot, clinging to his arm like you're his damn boyfriend or something. weren’t y’all in bad terms?” I took in his words as I sipped my drink, “maybe i forgave him,”

Rei stepped even closer, closing the distance between us as his gaze darkened even further. His jaw clenched tightly, the irritation in his voice mixing with a hint of frustration and jealousy. "And you expect me to just believe that? After all the crap that went down between the two of you, you're telling me you just up and forgave him? It doesn't make a damn lick of sense." He demanded, his tone firm and challenging, his eyes drilling into mine as if trying to discern the truth behind my words. “yeah, but when have i ever made sense,”

Rei let out a huff, his irritation softening slightly at your response, a hint of reluctant amusement flickering across his expression. He leaned against the vending machine beside me and sighed, crossing his arms defensively. "That's a fair point. You've never been particularly predictable, you damn unpredictable menace." He muttered, his voice carrying a hint of begrudging admission as he shot you a sideways glance. I decided to change the topic from this.

“so, the boys back there, your friends?” Rei let out a huff at my question, his expression shifting to a mix of irritation and reluctant admittance. He averted my gaze slightly as he responded. "Yeah, those two knuckleheads... They're my so-called "friends," if you wanna call 'em that. They're the only somewhat tolerable people in my social circle, so I try not to piss 'em off too much." Rei admitted begrudgingly, though his tone carried a hint of exasperation. He was harsh and mean and yet I agreed with him on his perception of his friends, “how sweet…”

I looked back at him, “you're actually going to the mixer?” Rei shot me a sidelong glance, his irritation flaring slightly at my comment, though a hint of mild amusement flickered in his eyes. "Tch. Don't get the wrong idea. I'm just going because the damn idiots would never let me hear the end of it if I didn't. It doesn't mean i actually want to be there." He retorted gruffly, his tone defiant as he crossed his arms defensively. He let out a grumble, his expression shifting to mild annoyance. “Your probably there to find girls to hook up with,” I said bluntly.

Rei rolled his eyes in irritation, a scoff escaping his lips at my statement. "Oh please. Like I'd waste my time on some random skank at a damn mixer." He retorted gruffly, his expression hardening slightly. "Don't be ridiculous." Weirdly I felt relived at this. That Rei wouldn’t be touched by someone else. “Well, I mean, you're not exactly a virgin it’s not a far fetch,”

Rei clenched his jaw at my comment, his irritation flaring up again as an almost irritated scoff escaped his lips once again. He shot me a sidelong glare, his eyes narrowing slightly as he stepped even closer. "Goddammit, you really enjoy pissing me off, don't you? Yeah, and what's it to you, huh? You keeping track or something?" I swirled my soda can around as u looked at it. “hey hey not my fault people talk, me personally i make sure my conquests shut up,”

Rei let out a dry chuckle at my comment. "So you're threatening them into keeping their mouths shut, huh? Figures. You're just full of surprises, you little menace." Well I don’t really threaten people, I just make sure it’s in both our best interests no one find out I slept with them. Though this conversation made me curious, Rei only ever hook ups with people but suddenly he seems disinterested with it and hasn’t gotten his share in a while.

“i know you used to hook up a lot, why’d you stop all of a sudden?” Rei let out a huff at your question, his irritation melting into a mix of contemplation and resignation. He ran a hand through his hair; his gaze fixed on the ground as he spoke. "I dunno, I just... lost interest, I guess. Got tired of hooking up with random girls, then leaving the next day. It just felt empty, you know? None of them were... important. No one cared about anything beyond the physical. It was just... pointless."

I sipped my soda while giving Rei a side-eye, Rei noticed your sidelong glance and met my gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly in questioning. He raised an eyebrow, his expression shifting to a mix of curiosity and slight annoyance. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I looked at him with a soft smile, “nothing,” he huffed, a note of irritation in his voice as he responded, "Bullshit. You're definitely thinking something. You got that look on your face, that irritating hint of a smirk. What are you plotting in that little head of yours?"

“Really nothing” Rei couldn’t help but noticed i was calmer and generally softer with him than i am with other people. Though that thought would get quickly shot out his head as I asked him another question.

“Rei-kun do you like me?” I was now fully looking at him.

Rei sputtered at my sudden question, caught off guard by the directness of my inquiry. His eyes widened slightly, a flash of surprise and flustered irritation crossing his expression before he let out a huff and looked away. "T-the hell kinda question is that May-san? O-of course not, you're an insufferable bitch." Of course that’s the response I expected. I’m unsure why I expected anything else but it is what it is…though, a part of me was hoping he’d actually say he liked me, I mean it’s painfully obvious he’s into me.

Rei shot me another sidelong glare, " I mean it, I don't like you in that way. You're just a goddamn annoying pest, like a little annoying chihuahua, constantly barking and biting at my heels." He snapped defensively, his words deliberately harsh as if trying to convince both me and himself of the truth of his statement. I gave him a grin as I leaned in, “it was just a dumb thought relax,”  "Tch. It better be a damn dumb thought. I don't have the time or the patience to deal with any of that mushy, romantic bullshit."

“Come on i promised your 'friends' i would return you,” I said as I got off the wall. "Ughhh. Don't remind me. Those idiots better not have started planning something stupid." He muttered in a gruff tone, his annoyance evident as he slowly pushed himself off the wall. "Fine, come on then. The sooner we go back, the sooner I can ditch those fools and be free of their annoying chatter." Rei said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

I looked up at him as i realized he was a whole head taller than me, “why are you a giraffe...” Rei rolled his eyes at my comment, "Tch. Don't call me a giraffe May-san. I can't help how tall I am. You're just a little shrimp in comparison. Can't see over my shoulder without climbing up on something." Rei retorted with a hint of dry humor, his tone slightly mocking as he gave you a sideways glance, his arm still slung lazily around my shoulder.

“im 170cm, average height,” Rei let out a dry chuckle at my defensive protest, his smirk widening, "Average height, my ass. You're still shorter than me, so you're a shrimp in my book. I bet you need a boost just to reach the top shelf, huh?" He teased in a cocky tone, his grip giving a slightly playful squeeze. “Tsk, and how tall are you?” Rei shot you a cocky smirk, his annoyance giving way to a hint of pride as he replied. "180. Yeah, that's right, almost 2 meters tall. You're practically a child next to me. Can't compete with that, shrimp." He retorted triumphantly, “giraffe,” I said as I glared at him from the sides of my eyes.

Rei let out a scoff, his smirk widening at my repeated insult. "Damn right. And you're still a shortass. Gotta use a ladder just to look me in the eye, huh?" Rei retorted mockingly, his grip on your shoulder shifting to subtly pulling me even closer to him, emphasizing the difference in height between us two even further.

I went and I stepped on his foot. Rei let out a grunt of irritation as I began stepping on his foot, his initial expression of irritation shifting to a mix of discomfort and annoyance. "Ow-! Hey, what the hell are you doing, you little pest? You trying to fight dirty, huh?" his grip on my shoulder tightening almost reflexively as he shot me a sidelong glare, though a hint of reluctant admiration flickered in his eyes at my cheeky behavior. “Sorry, not my fault you gave me a chance to do that,”

Rei gave me a huff of amusement at my nonchalant response, "You're a damn pain in the ass, you know that? Always causing trouble."

“Yeah but you love that about me,”

“Yeah your right, I do love that about you May-san,”

Rei looked forward longingly as I looked up at him. Rei always called me all sorts of names to my face, he was always straightforward. I don’t feel like hiding with him, like he’ll accept every part of me, Rei doesn’t see me as perfect, and I don’t feel like being perfect with him.

Chapter Text

Rei entered the karaoke room, where the mixer was being held  his gaze immediately scanning the surroundings, taking in the lavish and grand space with a hint of mild annoyance. "Ugh, why the hell did those morons insist on booking such a damn fancy place for this stupid mixer..." He mumbled irritably, adjusting his clothes and running a hand through his hair as he walked towards me. “Ah! Rei-Kun you actually came! I thought you’d maybe ditch me,”

Rei huffed in mild annoyance, his tone slightly reluctant. "And leave you alone in this damn mixer? Don't be stupid May-san. The last thing I need is some moron trying to hit on you the moment I turn my back." He retorted with a hint of protectiveness in his eyes; his arms crossed in front of his chest as he leaned against the nearest wall. I handed him a drink, “and why would that be an issue? It is a mixer,”

Rei accepted the drink, his fingers brushing against mine for a brief moment, a slight spark of electricity passing between the two of us at the brief touch. He took a casual sip before letting out a huff and answering my question. "Because I don't trust any of these idiots here. They're a bunch of horny bastards who would pounce on you in a heartbeat the moment they get the chance." He replied bluntly, his eyes fixed on you, the protectiveness in his gaze intensified.

I took a sip of my drink, “so prudish,” Rei let out a sharp scoff, his eyebrow arching as you teased him.  "Prudish? More like sensible. Trust me, these guys here are idiots with nothing but sleazy thoughts on their minds. I don't want some jerk trying to put his damn hands on you." He huffed, his possessive demeanor more prominent as he took another sip of his drink, his gaze not leaving you for a second.

“Why not find someone to date? What? You too much of a pussy? Think whoever you get with reject you or something,” Reis eyes narrowed at my taunting words and the challenging look on my face. He clenched his jaw, his irritation flaring at the insinuation. "Shut up, you cheeky brat. I ain't afraid of any damn rejection. I could get any person in this room eating out of the palm of my hand with ease, if I wanted to." He retorted defensively, his pride wounded slightly at my mocking words, his ego slightly bruised. This would be fun, I wanted to have fun.

“Then let’s make a bet, Let’s see who can seduce someone first,” Rei let out a huff of a chuckle, a cocky smirk spreading across his face. He leaned back against the couch, his eyes gleaming with cocky confidence. "You're on, shortass. I'll take that bet. But I should warn you, I always come out on top."He agreed, his competitive spirit ignited by the challenge, his ego flaring at the thought of beating me at my own game.

As I was drinking some alcohol a guy from another school sat next to me and tried to make small talk with me. “Hey there pretty boy, you got a name,” I looked over at him, “I’m May, May Sakurajima,” The guy leaned back in his chair, a sly smile on his face as he replied. "May, huh? That's a pretty name. I'm Takeshi." He responded, his gaze flickering over me in a not-so-subtle up-and-down glance, clearly interested in me. “Nice to meet you, that uniform, I can recognise it what school is it?”

Takeshi chuckled at my question, a hint of pride in his voice as he responded. "You're a sharp one. This is the uniform of the prestigious Tokyo High private school. Only the elite students are accepted there, ya know?" He explained, his eyes raking over me once more with an almost cocky gaze, his ego clearly inflated by the fact that I was ‘impressed’ by his school's reputation. Though truthfully I didn’t care so much, “Right well I’m from shuichin academy,” a school which was just as if not slightly more prestigious than the one he goes too.

“Well your family must be important people,” I asked Takeshi, even if nothing happens between me and him, he can useful for networking. The guy chuckled lightly at my observation, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips as he confirmed my assumption. "You're right about that. My old man is loaded and his connections run deep in this city. Being from a prominent family like mine has its perks, y'know?" He replied, his cocky demeanor returning as he subtly bragged about his family's wealth and influence, clearly proud of his privileged background.

Though to be frank, I wasn’t very impressed, “Mhmm right a senior in highschool im assuming?” He nodded, a hint of arrogance in his expression. "Yep, I'm a senior in high school. And I already have my future mapped out. Got good grades, got my sights set on a good college, and my old man has got big plans for me." He responded with a cocky smirk, clearly relishing the chance to flex a bit about his academic success and future prospects.

Rei watched you closely as I feigned interest in Takeshi's boasting, silently observing my body language and the subtle cues that gave away my disinterest. He knew you well enough to recognize the signs, like the overly smiley expression that didn't quite reach my eyes or the lack of physical closeness in our interactions. He chuckled silently to himself; his eyes filled with a mix of amusement and slight annoyance at my act. He took another sip of his drink, his gaze flickering between me and Takeshi, wondering how long we would keep up the façade.

As you glanced over at Rei, I saw him engaged in conversation with a pretty girl from another table, a charming smile plastered on his face and his usual cocky manner in full display. He was leaning close to her, talking in that smooth, captivating tone he always used with the girls, clearly enjoying himself as he engaged in what seemed like harmless flirting. I scowled a little bit, but my distaste was cut short when I was called out to sing, “awe do I have to sing?”

Takeshi turned to me with a hint of playful disappointment. "Aw come on, don't be a party pooper. Of course you have to sing! You can't just sit back and watch, you gotta participate in the fun." He replied, giving you a mock pout as he gave me a pleading look, trying to coax me into getting on stage for your turn at karaoke. “Fine for you I will,” Rei almost gagged upon hearing that.

I went and took the mic as I chose my song. I decided to sing ‘If’ by tsukuyomi. As I sang people listened to my voice. I was quite a good singer after all, though the whole time I was looking at Rei who was sitting with the girl. Even though she was making conversation he kept looking at me.

After performance, me and Rei retreated to a quieter corner, away from the crowd and the noise of the mixer. The moment the two of us were alone, he leaned against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest. I looked back at him, “So how’s it going with that girl you were talking too? She interested in you?” Rei gave me a cocky smirk, “yeah it’s good well obviously, I got her wrapped around my finger,” that made me a little jealous. Rei was supposed to be only looking at me.

A small smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as he noticed the hint of jealousy in my expression. He leaned in slightly, his tone slightly smug as he spoke. "Are you jealous, May-san? Can't stand the thought of me with someone else, huh?" He taunted, his eyes gleaming with a mix of playful amusement and subtle possession. I scoffed at that, “Oh come on you were a little jealous that I was with another guy your no better,” He scoffed, his expression shifting to a mix of irritation and reluctant confirmation. He couldn't deny my words, but he was too stubborn to admit it outright. "Tch. Shut up. I wasn't jealous, I was just... annoyed. Yeah, annoyed. There's a difference."He retorted defensively, his eyes narrowing slightly as he tried to deflect from the truth.

“Well whatever, we still have a be-t” I looked over and we saw the guy I was talking to with the girl Rei was talking to. Rei followed my gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly as he saw the scene."Damn it. They're getting too close."

“Looks like we accidently match made someone,” I leaned my shoulder on him. I could feel Rei's heart rate quickening slightly at the casual touch. He tried to maintain his nonchalant demeanor, pretending he didn't notice the way his body reacted to my proximity."Tch. Yeah, yeah, we did." He muttered gruffly.

As the two of us watched the accidental couples chatting and laughing together, he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as me and Rei laughed. He looked down at me, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Well, we sure did a number there, huh? Accidental matchmakers, we are." He cracked a smirk, his hand instinctively reaching out to poke my forehead gently.

“It seems like everyone is a happy couple but us,” Ris grumbled, his smirk faltering as my words hit a bit too close to home. He let out an irked huff, his shoulders tensing as he tried to brush off my observation. "Hmph. So, what if we're not a happy couple? Who needs that lovey-dovey crap, anyway?" He retorted defensively, his tone a mix of irritation and subtle envy as he glanced at the happy couples around them.

“That’s right, Rei and May, we’re not made for relationships,” I had a bit of saddness in my voice. Rei's expression turning almost bitter as he acknowledged my words. "Damn right, May-san. We're too alike, too damn stubborn and fiery for those sappy lovey-dovey relationships. We'd probably drive each other insane within a damn week." He retorted, a mix of resignation and stubbornness in his tone, as if trying to convince himself as much as me.

“Come on let’s get out of here,” I took my coat, "Yeah, screw this place. Let's get out of here before I lose my damn mind." He muttered, pushing himself off the wall and took his own coat while gesturing for me to follow him as he began making his way towards the exit.

Me and Rei were outside the karaoke room, “so then, wanna get a private room or just run off to do something else?” "A private room, huh? That sounds like fun. But let's not make it too obvious. We don't need those nosy idiots gossiping about us."He replied, his tone slightly suggestive as he stepped closer to me, his gaze flickering over my figure.

Rei went to go look at the prices for a private room. He continued to observe the prices listed for the private rooms, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he muttered to himself. "Damn, these rooms are pricier than I expected... And they charge by the hour, too. Greedy bastards." He grumbled in irritation, mentally calculating how much it would cost us for some private alone time.

While I was standing away a man bumped into you, a jolt of irritation immediately flared within Rei. He quickly stepped closer to me, his protective instinct taking over. He shot a sharp glare at the man who bumped into me, "Oi, watch where the hell you're going, idiot." He snapped irritably, his body subtly moving in front of me defensively. I looked up at the man as my eyes widened.

The man glanced down at me with a lazy, arrogant smirk, his gaze roaming over my figure in a leering manner. "Whoa, sorry sweetheart. Didn't see you there."He drawled, his tone dripping with cocky confidence as his eyes continued to rake over my figure, completely ignoring Rei, who was practically seething with irritation beside me. The man smirked as he recognised me, “Private room with this boy over here May? You really can’t keep your legs closed!” He said mockingly.

A burst of anger flared within Rei as the man said that to me, his fists clenching at his sides as he tried to control his temper. He shot the man a deadly glare, his voice low and dangerous. "Watch your goddamn mouth, jackass. Say that again, I dare you." He threatened through gritted teeth, his protective instincts going into overdrive at the man's insolent tone and suggestive comment about me. “Rei stop,” I held his hand to stop him from doing anything.

Rei glanced down at my hand on his, his anger faltering slightly as I held him back. He was visibly gritting his teeth, his body tense with pent up anger, but he forced himself to listen to me. "Tch. Damnit. You're too damn soft-hearted for your own good, you know that?" He muttered, his voice both annoyed and reluctantly compliant, his hand gripping mine tightly.

Soon, the man and his friends walked off “no…” looked like I was in distress. As the man and his friends sauntered away, he shot them one last venomous glower before turning his attention back to me. Seeing the distress on my face, his irritation melted into concern. "Hey, hey, what's wrong? You look like you saw a damn ghost." He said, his tone laced with worry as he looked me up and down, his hand still holding mine. “That man…,” Rei watched me intently, his concern growing as he noticed the way I reacted to the man. He squeezed my hand gently, encouraging me to continue. "That man... do you know him or something? You looked freaked out when he spoke to you." He questioned, his voice low and almost protective as he scrutinized your expression.

I started to hyperventilate breathing heavily as I held onto Rei's coat tightly. As he saw me start to hyperventilate, his worry intensified. He gently squeezed my hand again, his other hand reaching up to touch my face, trying to ground me."Hey, hey, breath. You're starting to panic. Breathe, in and out." He instructed firmly; his voice laced with gentle insistence as he tried to soothe my rising panic.

“That man was the guy that took my virginity…And…and….I,” I couldn’t keep talking and I just kept going through my panic attack. Rei cursed under his breath as he realized my panic attack was getting worse, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive. He swiftly pulled me against him, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me close in a firm, supportive embrace. "Shhh, it's okay. It's okay. I got you. You don't have to say anything else right now. Just try to breathe, okay? In and out. Deep breaths."He murmured softly, his voice soothing and reassuring as he held me against his chest.

As the panic attack continued, Rei grew more frustrated with himself for not knowing how to handle it properly. Seeing me suffer and not knowing how to help me only served to irk him, making him feel completely useless in this situation. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, quickly scrolling through his contacts until he found Tenshi's number. He didn't waste any time calling the teacher, silently praying that Tenshi would answer.

After what felt like an eternity a black car pulled up. Rei's shoulders sagged in relief as he saw Tenshi arrive, running towards me with concern etched on his face. He had never been more grateful to see the man in that moment. He silently stepped back, watching as Tenshi approached and immediately enveloped me in a comforting embrace, taking over in a way that only someone experienced with panic attacks could.

Rei watched as I began to calm down slightly in Tenshi's arms, his chest tightening with a mix of jealousy and irritation at the sight. Tenshi's gentle and soothing presence seemed to have a calming effect on me, something that he couldn't quite achieve himself. He clenched his fists at his sides, a pang of possessiveness flaring in his eyes.

“Thanks for calling me Rei-Kun I’ll take care of him from now on” Rei nodded gruffly, a mix of irritation and resignation in his expression. He knew that Tenshi was more qualified to deal with this situation, and the fact that he couldn't provide the comfort you needed stung his ego. I knew all of this all too well. "Yeah, yeah. Just keep an eye on him. And don't do anything weird..." He grumbled, trying to hide the hint of jealousy and protectiveness in his voice. Despite my pitiful manner I couldn’t help but feel a wave of concern for him.

I slowly reached out to tug on Rei’s sleeve. Rei pulled away a little and ruffled my hair. “Don’t worry Rei, I’ll take care of him,” Tenshi gave a sweet genuine smile as he picked me up bridal style. “Right…make sure he’s okay…” Rei watched as Tenshi nodded and took me to his car.

Tenshi carefully lifted me up from the ground and placed you in the back seat of his car. I was still hyperventilating, and I was holding onto a tight ball of my own clothes, shaking my legs and looking like I was so scared…He closed the door, and then got in the driver’s side, and started the car. He didn’t want to rush, he just wanted to make sure that I was as comfortable as possible at the moment, and that he could keep me safe.

As he drove you back to his house, I was still shaking and breathing fast. This whole experience was frightening to me, but I also felt so vulnerable and small and helpless. I was trying to keep myself from breaking down, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Once we got back to his house, he unlocked the doors, gently picked me up, and brought me inside. He carried me to the living room and sat me on the couch in front of the tv.

Tenshi sat down on the couch beside me, and tried his best to keep his voice calm, and low in volume. He didn’t want to make his words any louder than they needed to be, and also, he wanted to make sure he sounded calm and relaxed. “Just breathe… Just keep your breathing calm, ok…? I’m right here… It’s ok… just keep breathing…”

I felt like I was finally calming down, with his words helping me to keep my breathing steady. My shoulders were still a bit tense, and I also felt so tired, but the worst of the attack had passed. As your eyes slowly opened, and I got a good look at him sitting right beside me, I saw that his own expression had gone from worried to more of a caring one now that I was calming down. I laughed a little, “how are you so good at handling panic attacks,” “I've just experienced a lot, over time. Dealing with other people’s panic attacks have just become second nature to me, It's nothing really,” It wasn’t nothing for him, it really meant a lot, but he was just trying to act casual about it.

I looked at him, “Sensei, aren’t you even the least bit curious why I got in that panic attack,” As he heard my question, he was, truthfully, very curious. But he was also hesitant to ask me. It would depend on what caused me to get the panic attack in the first place.  “I’m very curious, actually, but you don’t have to tell me unless you’re ok with it.”

Tenshi got up from the couch and went over to the kitchen, to make me a cup of tea to calm down. I sighed out loud as he came back a few minutes later and handed me the cup of tea. Tenshi could hear the tiredness in my voice as I sighed. It was just confirmation to him that I needed to relax and rest after everything that just happened. "Rei was a good kid, right?” I looked up at him. “Rei-Kun…?”

He nodded, keeping his eyes on me still. “Yeah, Rei. The friend who brought you here. He was good right?” “Ah sure him,” I sounded almost dismissive. "That’s all your going to reply with?”  He looked at me curiously, his eyes scanning my face for some sign of emotion or expression. “What more is there to say?” I mean what more is there to say? I’m with my love Tenshi-sensei that’s all that matters. Why is he bringing Rei up now?

Tenshi still kept his body language as casual as possible. "Rei is in love with you” He tried to keep his voice as calm and as steady as possible. I was a little taken aback by this. I figured Rei did have feelings for me, no I knew, I didn’t realize someone else figured that out.

“Ah you knew?”

He nodded, Tenshi was looking directly into my eyes now, "It’s obvious to me. The way he treats you, His expression when he looks at you, His behavior when you’re around. He has a huge crush on you, but he’s not sure if you feel the same way about him,” I scoffed a little bit, “of course I don’t feel the same way,” how could I? I loved the man infront of me. "You don’t…? You don’t have any romantic feelings towards him at all?” His eyes were still locked on me, searching for any kind of reaction from me. I however, stayed grounded and calm the whole time, “why would I?”’

“That’s quite cruel don’t you think?”

“Cruel?”

Tenshi paused and shook his head "Yeah…. Cruel. Cruel because Rei clearly has feelings for you, but you have nothing towards him in return. and yet you drag him around and act like a couple with him. So you’re basically just playing with his hear,” I knew Tenshi was trying to defend Rei almost, that he felt sorry that he was getting played by me, but I’m not playing him, I’m not doing anything, “How am I doing any of that?”

Tenshi was getting a bit angry now. He was getting tired of me not understanding how Rei’s feelings would be affected, and he decided to be more blunt now. "Because you’re not rejecting him. You’re not telling him that you have ZERO interest in him, and you’re not making it clear to him that you’re not going to be with him… You’re basically giving him just enough time to hope that maybe one day you’ll change your mind. He’s hoping that someday he’ll have a chance with you,”

I gave a wry smile as I looked at Tenshi, “Is that really an issue?” He stared at me, still trying to keep his expression calm on the outside "Of course it’s an issue! you're essentially using the fact he’s in love with you to get what you want. you know he’ll never say no to you. It’s not fair to Rei to get his heart broken over and over. You need to tell him how you really feel, the sooner the better. He’s going to keep waiting, and waiting, until he finally accepts that you’re never going to love him, and it’s going to kill him,” Tenshi makes me sound like an evil mastermind or something, though now I was getting irritated.

“Are you berating me right now?” Tenshi crossed his arms, getting more and more irritated by the way I was taking everything. He didn’t mean to be angry, but my nonchalant attitude and the way I was acting really got under his skin.  “Yeah, I am. I think you deserve it. You’re being an absolute jerk to someone who has always just been nice and sweet to you, and I don’t understand WHY YOU’RE NOT SEEING THAT. Do you have no shame??? Do you not care at all how Rei feels?”

“I go through a panic attack and you’re reprimanding me over this? God forbid I’m close to Rei as friends!” That response just makes him even more frustrated… This whole thing is making his blood boil, to the point that he can barely keep it inside and keep a casual look on his face. “And that’s what makes it ten time worse. You’re not just friends. Not to Rei. Because HE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU. So yeah, it’s a big deal that you’re not setting the boundaries and making it clear to him that you’re never going to love him. Do you even CARE how he feels at all?! Or is it just all about you?”

My voice got louder as me and him got in a screaming match, “Well it’s not fault he fell in love with me, is it? He knows I’m maybe not the best person, but he still chose to love me! So HOW is it my fault?” It doesn’t matter if I’m cruel, it’s not like I’m ACTUALLY hurting anyone.  “No, it’s not your fault he fell in love with you, but it’s your responsibility to be honest with him and make it clear that you don’t and NEVER will have romantic feelings for him! You can’t just keep leading him on like that! You need to give him some real hope-crushing honesty, and let him move on to someone else,”

I was taken aback by the last statement, “Move onto someone else?” He nodded. “Yes, for his own sake! You’re not in love with him, and there’s no way that you will ever be, so you need to let him move on from you so he can get over you and find someone who WILL love him. It’s just not fair for him to keep hoping for something that isn’t gonna happen, and you can’t keep letting him get his hopes up… You need to put an end to this situation because it’s only going to cause more harm to him.”

I was contemplating it. Weirdly I don’t want to lose him to someone else. The moment he does he won’t be for me anymore I won’t have him anymore. I can’t have that. I need him at my fingertip. One because he knows about my issues and two because…because…

I stood up to look at Tenshi “he KNOWS I DONT love him. It’s nothing but obvious. And I’m not going to risk telling him that for him to run off” Tenshi got up as well, still staring at me with an expression of disbelief.  “You care about what’s convenient for you, I see. You just want him to hang around and be your friend, while you get to keep his love and affection. It’s so selfish. He’s a human being, not some puppet that you can put strings on and control,” I could hear the anger and saddness in his voice, I couldn’t fully understand why he actually cared about Rei so much, but I could feel his pain and anger.

 “Sensei…” I tried to take his hand. Tenshi took a step back, not allowing me to touch him. “No… No… You need to understand how wrong this kind of thing is… You are playing with the feelings of someone who loves you, and you’re only thinking about what YOU want. You need to let him go so that he can find real love with someone who will actually love him back. And not just keep using and playing with his heart…” u looked down almost shamefully as he spoke. “I can’t believe you…”

Tenshi just crossed his arms tighter once again and looked at me with a cold expression. “What? Do you disagree with what I’m saying? Or are you just not wanting to hear it? It’s the truth, no matter how badly you don't want to face it. You’re using and playing with someone who loves you, and he has no choice but to just hope that someday you’ll change your mind and suddenly love him back. You need to let him move on. You need to release his heart, May,”

I finally looked up at him, “Do you want to give up on me now?” Tenshi closed his eyes, and took a deep breath before opening them again.  “No, I don’t want to give up on you. I just want you to understand how wrong your actions are. I’m not giving up. I just don’t like how you treat other people. You’ve got so much more growing and developing to do, You’re still not a bad person. You just have a lot to work on?” He paused, looking at me.

His facial expression changed to a more serious, slightly concerned one.  “Have… have you ever been in love before?” He was looking directly at me, his eyes trying to see my expression for any hint as to your answer. “What an odd question,” I thought about it for a moment.

“Well, I’ve had ex-boyfriends, so I’ve loved before, Of course I don’t love them anymore,” Tenshi really took in my answer, “So you’ve loved some men before, and you’ve let go of those feelings and moved on from them, Is that right?” He looked deep into my eyes, as if looking at the depths of my soul just to ensure that I was really saying the truth. “If the first one sucks just move onto the next,” that was my life moto after all, no point crying over spilt milk. “So, it’s that easy for you…? Do you just move onto the next person, as if people are just playthings, you can use and toss away for your own benefit? Is that how you act? Do you just toss aside someone’s heart after you’ve played with it?”

The more questions he asked the more agitated I got, afterall I didn’t like it when people tried to read me, to try to psychoanalyse me, it’s not like they are ever correct. “Sensei, do you believe in love?”

This was another question that got straight to the core of who a person is. It can reveal a lot about a person’s moral compass and sense of the world.  “Yeah, I do, I do believe in love. I believe that love is one of the most powerful, wonderful feelings in the world. It has the power to bring out the best in a person and make them do all sorts of incredible things and I also believe that love can have the power to tear and destroy a person from within. Why do you ask?”

“Yeah, well love is like any other feeling, you use it to get what you want,” The way I said that so casually, as if I see love as something to use and toss away. “So, you don’t value love at all? It’s nothing more than a means to an end for you? You don’t see any worth in just loving and caring for someone? You only see love as a way to get things that you want?”

“Love is the act of tearing a part of yourself to give it to someone else and when it eventually ends you just lost something you can never get back….but your different sensei,” It’s true that love can have its hurtful moments, but that’s part of the price of love. Loving and being loved by another person is a wonderful experience, and the pain at the end of the relationship is a price well paid… though to me it’s like a transaction, as if I only love someone just to get something out of it and to get my personal fulfillment. That kind of attitude just seemed so selfish and wrong to a man like Tenshi. “How am I different from the way you’ve described love?”

I smiled as I looked at him, “I know…you’ll never ruin me,” Tenshi looked at you, his expression one of both surprise and confusion. “How can you be sure I’d never hurt you? How can you be certain that I won’t break your heart?” I got closer, “I know you won’t, your too soft, you're not as jaded as you make yourself out to be,”

As I got that much closer, and he found himself staring into my eyes, “You’re so confident. Are you really that sure? What if one day, I do break your heart, then what?” I looked up at him.

“Then I’ll ruin you,”

Tenshi pulled away from me to go to the kitchen feeling a bit frustrated with himself for how he was reacting around me. He turned around not facing me but the stove instead, it was like he was physically making a barrier between us. I simply stayed where I was and looked over at him. Finally, the deafening silence was gone when Tenshi spoke up, “your way too comfortable with me,”

I scoffed, “and whose fault is that?” Tenshi felt a slight bit of annoyance at that comment, though he knew deep down that I wasn’t wrong.  “Yeah. Yeah, I know it’s my fault, but you still shouldn’t trust me so much, you know. I’m still your teacher. One day, I’m going to do something that you’ll regret,”

“Like what?”  “One day, I’m going to do something so devastating to you that it’s going to destroy your heart… And you’re just going to feel so stupid and foolish for having ever trusted me… “

I finally turned my head around, me and him looking against each other backs faces, “I had a panic attack today cause I bumped into my first boyfriend and he pressured me into having sex, I was 14 and he was 20 so i didn’t really know better and I thought what I should do was what he said. Eventually the sex made me uncomfortable and when I asked to stop, he broke up with me,” Tenshi finally turned around to look at me as I finally turned around to face him.

“Feeling so depressed and dejected by the breakup I was drinking out near a park, his friend found me and in my incredibly drunk state we went to a love hotel, and we slept together. By the time I realized what happened it was too late, that friend went to go tell my ex and well my ex and his friends just slut shamed me endlessly. They only stopped when I stopped reacting but…it left a scar,”  I looked into Tenshis eyes.

He took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to say to me. “I’m sorry that happened to you…you endured a lot…”

I sighed, “I don’t need your pity,” I thought about something before I spoke up, “Fine, I’ll tell Rei everything. Happy now?” Tenshi was surprised at this, “Ah, Good, he deserves to know why you had a panic attack and that you don’t love him,”

I turned around fully to give him a teasing smile, “now then Sensei let’s watch a movie before I head home,” Tenshi let out a huff as he approached me and ruffled my hair, “I can’t stay mad at you long kid, fine let’s watch a movie,” I looked up at him as I chuckled a little. Of course, who could actually stay mad at me?wp

Chapter Text

The beginning of January so it’s time for the annual school trip all the second-year students go too. This year we’ll be visiting Kyoto. As one of the teachers in charge I was looking forward to the upcoming school trip, already mentally preparing myself for the exciting adventure ahead. I am a strong advocate of such outings, believing that they provided valuable learning experiences and helping to build teamwork and camaraderie among his students.

As the second-year students gathered to discuss the trip details, I enthusiastically took charge, sharing my ideas and organising the itinerary.

Over to the side I saw May with his bags and a smile on his face as he talked to his classmates, waiting for the train to arrive to take us. Soon the bullet train arrived as we got on, now our journey from Tokyo to Kyoto commences!

Of course the school has got lots of money so we got the Gran Class car on the bullet train. Typically, I wouldn’t be able to afford stuff like this but the school did provide staff free accommodations, perks of teaching at a rich private school. As we got on the train I sat at my seat when someone approached me, it was May with a smile, “hello sensei,” He watched me intently, noting the friendly exchange between me and May. I smiled to himself, "Hm-hmm need anything?", I hummed, acknowledging your greeting with a soft smile. May smiled, “mind if I sit next to you?”

I glanced over at the empty seat beside me. I nodded, my eyes still fixed on him "Of course. Take a seat." “ah, I like the window seat by the way sensei,” May came over as he sat at the window. “Would you rather be sitting with the other teachers? Like miya-sensei maybe,” I chuckled again, my smile widening at my question."No no, it's fine. I'm happy to be here with you. Besides, I like being able to keep an eye on my students." He said, his eyes scanning over the group of second-year students, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

The train set off, and I settled back in my seat, my gaze still on the students. I was a bit of a control-freak when it came to my students—I was a firm believer in keeping an eye on them to ensure they were safe and well-behaved. As the train moved into the distance, his gaze shifted back to me, his smile softening."You seem close with your classmates, huh?" May looked at me curiously, “close?”

I nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of my lips."Yeah, I mean, you were talking and laughing with them. You seem to get along well with them." He said, his eyes fixed on mine. "You've got a friendly face, you know? You seem to make friends easily." May looked forward his smile becoming a blank expression, “They are…okay I suppose, I wouldn’t say I’m friends with them,” I raised an eyebrow at his words, my expression becoming more puzzled."Not friends? So, you're just acquaintances then?" I paused for a moment, my gaze still fixed on May. "But I saw you laughing and chatting with them. I thought you were close."

“Of course I have to act friendly, or else people wouldn’t know who I am if I can’t play up my charms,” I chuckled softly, amused at his words. "Ahh, so you're playing a role then? You're putting on a show to keep up appearances?" Though I was a little wry. "You're quite the actor, aren't you? I must say, you're good at fooling people." I tilted my head to the side, studying his face, as if trying to see right through my act. "So, the real you is different from the version you present to others?” I asked.

May gave me a smile, “who knows, maybe there isn’t even a real me, after all, this role I play is still apart of me isn’t it?” May went to wear his AirPods. I was intrigued by his words. May had a point, the role he played was still a part of him...but I couldn't help but wonder what the real May was like behind the mask."I suppose you're right. The persona you present to others is an extension of yourself, even if it's a carefully crafted act."

I glanced over as May closed his eyes and rested his head against the seat, slowly drifting off to sleep. I watched him quietly, a small smile still playing at the corners of my lips. I looked around, observing the students as they played games and chatted. They were having a great time; the atmosphere was lively and cheerful. I smiled to myself, pleased to see the students enjoying their time together. I was glad that I had made the decision to bring them on the trip. I could tell that they were bonding and making new memories.

Tenshi was a bit surprised as he shifted in his seat and rested his head on my shoulder. I looked down at him, my expression softening at the sight. I didn’t push him away, though I did adjust my position a bit so that I could rest more comfortably.

There I was in bliss in peace. I had my own headphones on as I listened to music and drifted off into sleep with May, it was a gentle nice feeling, the kind of affection that I have been craving and wanting.

After what felt like hours, I gently trying to rouse May from his sleep."Hey, it's time to wake up. We're almost there."I said, my voice soft and gentle, the smile still on his lips. “Mhh?” May scrubbed his eyes, “how long was I asleep for?” I chuckled, "A good while. I replied, my smile widening. "You slept through the entire journey. You must have been really tired."

As the train stopped, we all took our stuff and got out. “Hey sensei will you be in the same hotel room as the teachers?” I nodded, my smile still in place."Yes, the teachers will be staying in the same hotel as the students. It's a convenient arrangement, especially for organization purposes." I paused, "Why do you ask? Are you worried about who you'll be sharing a room with?" may looked visibly confused for a minute, “I’ll be rooming with someone?”

I chuckled, amused by his surprise. "Yes, all the students will be rooming with a partner or a group. It's a typical school trip arrangement. You'll be sharing a room with one or two other students." May shook his head in disbelief, “Sorry I did request for a private suite, did I not?”

"You did request for a private suite, but unfortunately, those are all reserved for the higher-ups." I replied, "You’ll have to share a room with the other students. Sorry." May scoffed, “unbelievable,” I laughed, enjoying his reaction. "Oh, come on, it's not the end of the world. You'll probably make some new friends and have some fun memories. Sharing a room isn't that bad." I said, grinning. "And who knows, you might even find it enjoyable."

Then one of Mays classmates, Haruka came behind and jumped behind May hugging him, “May-chan you should room with me!” I chuckled, Haruka and May weren’t really strangers, May has been the student council president since the 1st year of highschool and Haruka has been the vice president as long as May as been president, so they are rather acquainted and has a good working relationship, watching Haruka act this excited to room wigh May was rather endearing. I crossed my arms, a smug smile on my face. "Looks like someone’s asking to room with you." May rolled his eyes, “I forgot how touchy this school is, fine Haru, your at least slightly bearable,”

Haruka grinned, his eyes gleaming with excitement."Yay! I knew you would say yes!" He exclaimed, high fiving the air in victory before running off to be with the other students. “I should have never agreed to this,” I snickered at Mays comment."Don't be so Negative. You might actually enjoy sharing a room with Haru. Who knows, he might even be a great roommate. Plus, it's just for a few days. You can survive, right?" I said teasingly, pinching his cheek softly. May held his cheek, “yes yes whatever,” I smiled at this.

The next day all the students were gathered at the hotel lobby, of course, it was a 5 star hotels, one of the best in Kyoto. Me, being the responsible teacher I was, had provided the students with an itinerary for the upcoming trip.Each day was planned out, from the temples to visit to the restaurants to eat in. It was a detailed plan that included hours of activities, ranging from walking tours to sightseeing and everything in between. "Alright class, are you all familiar with the plan? Any questions so far?"

The students had been divided into groups, each with an accompanying teacher to oversee and guide them throughout the trip. I had been assigned to Mays group. As the day started and the students gathered, I was standing at the front, a wide smile on my face as I prepared to lead the group out of the hotel and into the city. "Alright students, today’s going to be a great day. We’ve got a jam-packed schedule, so let’s get going!

We walked through the streets of Kyoto, Haruka was away with my other group members and I was standing next to May, then May spoke up with a mischievous glint, “You know, this would be more fun if it was alone just us,” I chuckled and glanced at him, “ But I’m afraid we can’t exactly do that, can we? I’m a teacher, I have to look after my students. It’s my job to accompany them on these field trips and make sure they stay safe." May smiled at me, “well aren’t you responsible sensei,”

May and his group had made your way to Fushimi Inari Shrine, one of Kyoto’s most iconic and popular tourist attractions. The shrine was massive, with a long path leading from the main gate up a wooded mountain slope and toward the towering torii gates. The path was lined with towering red torii gates, each one leading deeper into the forest and the shrine beyond. The sound of a nearby stream could be heard throughout the complex, and the smell of incense filled the air.

As the group of students rushed through the forest and up the winding path to the shrine, their eyes wide with wonder and delight at the sight of the torii gates, May stayed alongside me. He was walking slowly, taking his time to soak in the atmosphere and take in the sights and sounds of the shrine. The students were chattering excitedly amongst themselves, their voices echoing through the narrow path as they made their way up the hill. As I walked alongside May, his eyes occasionally flickered towards May smile.

When we eventually reached the top and were rewarded with a breathtaking view of the shrine, the students let out a collective gasp of amazement, their eyes wide with adoration and awe. May turned towards me, expecting to see the same expression. But instead, he caught my eyes gleaming with a gentle look, as if I was trying to hold back a chuckle. "Look at them. They look like they’re going to explode with joy."

“The students in this school are all so enthusiastic and excited,” I smiled in agreement. "Yes, they really are. It’s a pleasant change from some of the other students I’ve had in the past. Some of them can be grumpy and difficult, but these students seem to be full of energy, enthusiasm, and a desire to learn." I paused, my eyes gleaming with a smile. "You know, it’s refreshing. It reminds me why I became a teacher in the first place. Seeing their eyes light up like that is one of the best parts of the job."

May looked up at me interested to learn more about my life, “Of course, it’s a private school that holds japans elite,” I nodded in agreement, "Yes, that’s exactly right. This school is one of the best in the country for a reason. The students here are from top-tier families, they have excellent academic records, and they’re well-mannered and respectful." I smiled, "They have a lot to live up to, and they know it. They’re all top-notch quality students. Not like the troublemakers in other schools."

As May intently listened to me the other students in the group called out for him, “Sakurajima-san!!!” We both turned around then, “May-chan let’s take a picture!” Haruka exclaimed as he dragged me. May didn’t have time to react or say anything before they had him in front of a spot on the path, phones already in hand. I watched the exchange from a small distance, rolling my eyes slightly and letting out a soft chuckle.

May and the other students took a group picture, smiling and posing under the towering torii gates and in front of the expansive grounds in front of him. Haraku grinned and held up the peace sign, while a few of the other students posed and made funny faces with the others as well. I watched from a small distance, my eyes wandering Mays way ever so often to see if everything was going smoothly. A small smile played on my lips as he watched the students have fun and enjoy the sight of the Shrine.

Soon May approached me, “sensei we should take a picture too,” I was surprised at the suggestion, "You want a picture? Sure, we can do that."I said, his voice a bit soft as I stepped forward, stepping up next to him and the other students."Just a normal pose, alright? No funny faces, no silly poses. Just a normal, nice photo." I instructed, my eyes gleaming with a soft expression. "Ready, say ‘cheese’"

Haruka held up Mays phone my arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him close and pulling him against my side. My arm was warm and firm, the muscles from my workouts evident in the way I held him. The shutter clicked, and the photo was taken. I removed my arm and let go of him, stepping back and looking at the photo to make sure it turned out alright. May looked at it as well, “looks good,”

I smiled at him, my eyes gleaming with approval. "Yes, it looks good. You pose well for photos, I must say." I said, my voice taking on a teasing tone. "Maybe I should take more pictures of you, you know. Capture that pretty face of yours." I said, a mischievous glint in my eyes as I tried to hold back a smug expression. “Well, I won’t say no, I’ve always been good with cameras,”

"Of course, you’d say yes. Everyone loves getting their picture taken, especially a cute boy."I said, his eyes gleaming mischievously. "But honestly, you really are good with cameras. You pose so well, I’m not surprised. And you’ve got such a pretty face, it’s perfect for photos. I’m sure I’ll take many more pictures of you during our trip. you’d be great in the entertainment industry,”

“Entertainment industry?” May asked me rhetorically, I nodded. "Absolutely, I’m sure you would be great in the entertainment industry. A face like yours could make it big as a model, or a movie star, or a singer. You have talent and good looks; you’d make it big."I said, my eyes shining with approval. I was being genuine instead of teasing, my words filled with admiration and respect. I’m not just saying that, I’m being completely serious. I’m sure you’d be fantastic in the entertainment industry."

“Is that so,” with that we kept walking as May kept his gaze on me.

Chapter Text

I was sitting on the bed when I heard the sound of a knock on the door. "Come in," I called out softly, my voice barely louder than a whisper. The door opened a few moments later, revealing May in the dim light of the hallway outside. He was dressed in a long-sleeved shirt that went mid-thigh, a pair of sweatpants, and a fluffy jacket. I looked at him as he walked, his eyes glowing in the dim light. “The other students are having their own party, but I felt like having private time, if your fine with that sensei,”

I smiled, the dim hotel room lighting up as a soft smile crossed my features."I’m not surprised, some of those kids are too rowdy for their own good. It’s good to know that you have a preference for private time." I stepped towards May, gesturing to the bed."Here, come sit down. It’s quiet in here. The wind and the stars, I’ve left the windows open." He said, his voice soft and comforting. May sat on the bed, “you even got your own private suite,”

I smiled and nodded."Yes, all the teachers have their own private rooms. It’s one of the perks of being a teacher. It’s nice to have a quiet, private space to relax in at the end of a long day."I stepped forward once he was inside, my eyes gleaming as I closed the door behind May. The bed was large and comfortable-looking, perfect for relaxation and private time.

My eyes shining in the dim light of the hotel room. The air was still and quiet, the only sound the soft rustling of the breeze coming through the open windows."Sit and relax, I’ll make the ramyun."I poured in the ramen and added some water, my movements practiced and almost automatic, my eyes flickering towards him every so often.

I handed him the noodle as I sat on the bed, The two of us sat in comfortable silence, the only sound was the soft clinking of spoons on bowls and the occasional soft chewing of food.I looked over at him from time to time, my eyes watching as May ate. I smiled softly as I took in the peaceful expression on his face, my eyes gleaming in the dim light of the room. After a few minutes, I put down my spoon, my bowl now empty. I leaned back against the headrest of the bed, my eyes still fixed on him.

"You have nice facial expressions, I’ve noticed. Especially when you’re eating. It looks soft-cute, like a kitten." I said, his voice soft and warm. May let out a chuckle, “Pffp what’s that supposed to mean?” I chuckled, a smug smile on my lips. "It means, when you eat, your face softens. It becomes much more relaxed and your expression changes to something that’s adorable. Your eyes close ever so slightly, your brows wrinkle less, and your lips curl into a cute smile. It’s like you’re a kitten eating, and it’s so cute."I leaned forward, my eyes glowing as I spoke, my eyes trailing over his face, taking in his expressions.

May then pouted before looking down at the noodles, “how many calories are in this?” I chuckled, raising an eyebrow at May. "A lot. A bowl of instant ramen can have anywhere from 400 to 700 calories. It’s very high in sodium and carbs, not exactly the healthiest thing to eat, but it’s comforting and it’s quick and easy to make. It’s one of those guilty pleasure sorts of things, you know? The kind of meal you eat after a long day, when you don’t want to bother cooking something more involved. It’s more of a comfort food than a nutritional meal." May shrugged, “I suppose so,”

I smiled, my eyes gleaming as I watched you may eat. "Exactly. Sometimes you don’t want something healthy when you’re tired and hungry. You want something quick, easy, and comforting. Ramen hits the spot, and it’s one of those little pleasures in life. You only eat something like that when you’re feeling down, or tired, or just need some comfort. It’s not something you eat every day, but sometimes it’s nice to indulge and have a nice, warm bowl of instant ramen."

“Indulging…do you think you should indulge in something so bad for you?” I chuckled, my eyes gleaming mischievously."Oh, come on. A little indulgence is alright. You’ve got to live a little, right? You can’t be perfect all the time. You need to let yourself have some fun and enjoy the little things in life. Besides, an occasional bowl of instant ramen isn’t going to kill you. It’s not healthy, but it’s not the worst thing in the world."

May put down his empty cup as he looked at me, “Do you indulge in things bad for you?”

"Me? Indulge in harmful things? Oh, you would be very surprised. There are many things in life that are bad for you but feel so good. Do I indulge in these things? Sometimes, yes. But it depends on the day, who I’m with, and how I’m feeling. There are many things in life that feel good but are bad for you. Alcohol, unhealthy food, smoking, gambling, drugs – the list goes on. It’s up to the individual to decide what they will and won’t indulge in. I’m not a perfect person, and I’m not going to pretend to be. I’ve made many mistakes in the past, that I am not proud of. There are many things I have done, and still do, that I know I shouldn’t. But I’m only human. We all make mistakes. We all have our flaws and our vices. So yes, I do indulge in some things that are bad for me. There’s no point in being a prude the whole time."

May seemed to be taking in my words and really thinking about it, “Sure but some of us are more perfect than others. At least expected to be more perfect than others, indulging in such things can be a detriment to them and their reputation. it could affect their lives,” May then retorted back.

I sighed, my eyes softening as I listened to him. "You’re right. Some of us do have more pressure placed on us and are expected to be more perfect and flawless than others. And indulging in certain things, especially if it became public knowledge, could cause backlash, criticism, and even damage to one’s reputation. It could harm their career and public persona. You know, we all have things that we wouldn’t want the world to know about. We all want to keep our secrets, and sometimes we do things that we regret."

I looked back at May, after that happened that day at the mixer I didn’t really see May take to Rei at all. I mean to be fair the trip was immediately after the incident so maybe he didn’t get the chance to talk about it, “you haven’t told Rei yet have you?” May looked away almost shyly and with a coy smile, “well…not yet,”

I sighed, my expression serious."You need to tell him, and sooner rather than later. It’s not fair to lead him on and allow him to grow more and more attached to you. You need to be honest with him and give him closure. It’s the kindest thing to do." “Sure it’s the kindest thing to do but is it the right thing to do?”

I raised an eyebrow, my eyes sharp."Yes, it is the right thing to do. You need to be honest with him and put a stop to it. You can’t keep playing with his feelings. Otherwise, he’s going to suffer, and it will only become worse if you keep hoping he’ll get the hint and give up. You need to be honest and direct."

“You talk so righteous,” May looked at me as he let out almost a snarl. I smiled gently, my eyes warm with compassion."It sounds so easy when I say it, but the reality is often more complicated.I understand that it’s a difficult situation, and I’m not saying you have to be harsh or cruel when you let him go. There’s no point in breaking his heart like that. But you need to be firm and direct, and put an end to the hope he has in his heart. It’s the best thing to do, for both of you, in the long run."

“Why do you even care if I string him along so much?”

I raised an eyebrow, my eyes flickering with something that looked like…concern. "Because, it’s not right. It’s not fair to him, and you’re leading him on, making him believe there’s a chance there isn’t. Word You don’t love him, and you’ve never loved him. It’s selfish, and it’s cruel, and it’s not going to end well for either of you. You need to end it, and you need to do it soon."

May rolled his eyes, “You know I came to your hotel room to make a move on you,” I paused, my expression immediately changing. My face reddened slightly, but I quickly regained my composure."What...?" I swallowed, looking at him for a moment, before looking away. "You... came to my hotel room..." I mumbled, my voice slightly hoarse, my eyes averted from his.

“And now we are talking about me “playing” someone,” May then pushed me onto the bed and climbed ontop of me.

 “Sensei…I want you,”

My whole face instantly reddened, my eyes widening in shock. Mays words had completely caught him me guard, a wave of heat rushing through my body as Mays face inched closer and closer to my own. "Wait..." A small, almost inaudible whisper escaped his lips, a final attempt to warn me to stop. As May got closer i eventually overpowered him as pushed him off, “May Stop!”

I caught May off guard, pulling him onto the bed and pinning you down. He hovered over you, his arms resting on either side of you, trapping May underneath me and holding his wrists together in his firm grasp. "What’s gotten into you?!" I exclaimed, I was breathing hard, my chest moving with the rapid rise and fall of my breath. May looked up at me in shock, “well, I!”

"You what?!" I retorted, my voice still low and heated. My eyes were fixed on his, my grip on his wrists tight, as if to try and maintain a little bit of his control during the moment. "You can’t just climb onto someone and make advances like that! Do you realize what you were doing?!" “Well, isn’t that how it’s supposed to be done,”

I scoffed; my eyes locked on him."No, it’s not! You don’t just jump on someone and take control like that! It’s supposed to be mutual, a back-and-forth, a dance, not some one-sided attack!" I paused, my eyes scanning his face. “You can’t just give love, it has to be forced down. Or else it’s not real love,”

"You sound like some Shakespearean play. Love isn’t something you force! It’s not some thing that you just take or impose on someone! Love is something that’s earned!" I spoke. I was trying to maintain composure, trying to keep my cool, but it was a battle I was struggling to win. My whole body was tense. “Do you even know what love is? Or are you just trying to use it to get what you want?” “You can’t expect someone whose never been truly loved, to understand it fully,”

"You’re right. But it doesn’t give you the right to take whatever you want without consideration for others. Love’s not a game, and it’s not some toy you play with to make yourself feel better." I paused, my eyes scanning his face. "If you don’t know what love is, don’t use it just to get what you want."

May looked up at me in shock and the inability to say anything else. He bit his lip before he eventually spoke up, “You’re so full of love Sensei. You can give it out freely and not hesitate about it. Your…you just love like it’s nothing. Like it’s the easiest thing in the world,” May scoffed as he told me.

"Because it is, Love is easy, and it’s natural, it’s supposed to be something that just happens. It’s not something you force! Love isn’t a game!" I retorted, my voice growing louder. I was losing the battle, the wall in my mind that had stood for my entire life was starting to splinter.

“I’ve always been a bad person! You’re the only one that has seen my bad side don’t push me away now!” May yelled out at me. I was taken aback by his words, the sudden outburst catching me off guard. His face still only a couple of inches from mine, his body pinned under me, Mays wrists held tightly in my hands, the tension between us so thick it was tangible. I was silent for a moment; my eyes locked on his. The thought of pushing May away felt like a sharp pain in my chest, a lump forming in my throat. I didn’t want to push him away, especially not when he was so vulnerable. "I’m not trying to push you away."

“I don’t dare to ever act like this in front of anyone else! Only you! Cause you love me enough that I don’t disgust you!” My heart ached at his words, the vulnerability and desperation in his eyes pulling at the strings inside my chest. The idea that he believed the only person who could handle him was me, that I didn’t feel capable of baring myself to anyone else, that he felt so broken that he only trusted me to see the worst of him. I slowly let go of his wrists as I slowly got up removing him from under me as I sat up.

May got up as well as he fell on my chest. Clinging onto my shirt like a koala. “I don’t disgust you…” May muttered one last time as he was choking back tears. "No, you don’t disgust me." I mumbled, my voice hoarse.

“I hardly even love myself how am i supposed to naturally love someone else!” My heart ached at his words, the self-loathing in Mays voice only making me want to hold him tighter, to wrap my arms around him and comfort him. "You’re being too hard on yourself. Loving takes time. It takes practice."

The moment was ruined by a knock at the door. Great, what would someone need right now.

I got up and opened the door. I was surprised to see that it was Miya standing at the other side. Miya glanced at May sitting on the bed as he talked about the party the other students are having and how they have to go to shut it down. I knew that was important as well, so I left May to go attend the party and shut it down.

Eventually when I came back to the hotel room I saw May knocked out and asleep on my bed. I sighed as I placed the blanket ontop of him.

The next few days of the school trip passed relatively quietly. The students had done various activities, but nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, nothing too eventful. Even with May. It was now the end of the 3-day trip and the train station was a hive of activity, students bustling around to get their tickets and find their trains. The sun was setting, casting long shadows over the station, a cool evening breeze coming in from the nearby river that ran through the town. For the students, it was the end of a fun time, the excitement of the trip slowly turning to relief that they were finally heading home. For me, it was the end of worrying about May until school again.

I sighed as I went to go sit at my seat when I saw someone walk up to me and talk to me. “Hello, sensei, mind if I join you?” May said with a smile on his face. I looked up at him as my expression softened when I nodded, “sure, take a seat,”

We were sat at the same spot as when we arrived at Kyoto. May looked up at me, “not gonna say anything? Not a reprimand or a yelling?” I looked back at him with a glint of humor in my eyes, “why would I reprimand you?” May simply just laughed at that. I looked back at him as I laughed as well.

May looked up at me and my AirPods. “What ya listening too?” May asked me, “just something music,” May looked curiously, “may I listen too?” I looked up at him and smiled gently, “sure,” we both quietly listened together enjoying each other’s presence.

Chapter Text

During Lunchbreak I was bored and I wanted to hang out, so I walked to Mays classroom. The last 3 days he was away on his trip was boring but now he’s back and I’m hoping he could entertain me. As I walk into the classroom, I saw May standing at the corner with some classmates around him, but I also notice some of his classmates whispering amongst themselves. They were talking about something related to me. I caught bits and pieces of the conversation. Student A: "Hey, have you heard? Rei got involved in another brawl." Student B: "Again? That guy is bad news. He's always causing trouble."

Another group of students were talking about me too. Student C: "I heard from a friend of a friend that he skipped class again yesterday." Student D: "No surprise there. He's practically a professional truant. It's a miracle he hasn't been expelled yet, right May-san?” Mays attention got perked up as he looked over at the students, “Hmm Rei-Kun ah?,”

They turn to look at May and smiled. Student C: "Yeah, Rei-kun. The bad boy of the school. Always causing trouble and never takes anything seriously." Student D: "He's always skipping class and getting into fights. It's like he has a death wish or something." May simply shrugged as he replied, “He’s okay to me,” The group of students looked at me in surprise when they heard my response. They were expecting May to say something negative about him. Student C: "He's just, okay? That's a first. Most people here think he's a jerk." Student D: "Yeah, he's been nothing but trouble since he transferred here. Why do think he's 'okay'?"

I mean it’s true. May has no reason to even like me let alone hang out with me, after all our whole relationship is built on blackmail, “Well I mean, it’s not easy for May Sakurajima to take a liking to someone so if I’m fine with him he’s maybe not that bad,” May said with the softest smile ever. I was shocked by this, but I felt a slip in my heart when he said this.

The group of students remain silent for a moment, taking in what he said. They're still surprised by Mays defense of me, but some of them can't help but smile at his soft smile. Student C: "Wow, May-san. You've got a soft spot for bad boys, huh?” Student D: "Yeah, never thought we'd see the day when the class president actually defends the school's troublemaker."

I felt touched…that someone was actually coming to my defence. I masked the softness in my heart with my cocky attitude as I came up and hugged Mays shoulders from behind, “Aww look whose defending me, how sweet of you May-san,” I wrapped my muscular arm tightly around his shoulder, pulling him closer to me. The group of students watched with surprised expressions as I casually put his arm around the golden boy May. It was an unexpected gesture, even for me.  "Seems like you were talking about me, eh?" I looked at the group then at May with an amused glint in my eyes.

I noticed the way some of the students reacted to my presence. I could sense that they felt threatened by me, and that amused me even more. I tightened my grip on his shoulder, pulling him even closer to me. Though frankly, it hurt me a lot to be seen negatively. To always be someone people feel threatened by. It’s lonely…always being villainised. I played this off cool though, "Careful, May-san. You're gonna make them jealous, defending me like that."

“Aren’t the 1st year classrooms in the level below? What are you doing here?” I chuckled at Mays question. I shrugged nonchalantly, acting like it was no big deal. "Eh, I got bored up there. Figured I'd come down here and bother you a bit." As I spoke, I used my other hand to lightly tousle Mays hair, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. May looked at him before I let out a sigh, “Come on let’s go,” I grinned widely at his sigh, I kept my arm wrapped around his shoulder as I nodded. "Fine, fine. Lead the way, May-san." I followed him out of the classroom, still smiling mischievously. The other students watched in disbelief as me and May walked together.

People looked curiously, I mean the two most popular boys in school were together, let alone the fact that me and him were polar opposites. Though I ignored the stares and whispers of the other students as I walked alongside May. I was used to people staring at me, but I couldn't help but notice the looks of surprise and curiosity on their faces, I leaned in closer, my voice dropping to a whisper only May could hear. "Looks like we've caused quite a stir, eh? The school's golden boy and the bad boy together. Quite the sight to see." May looked towards me, “I suppose so,”

I laughed softly at his response, my hand still resting on Mays shoulder. "I bet they're all thinking, 'what the hell are they doing together?'" I smirked and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "And they're probably just jealous they can't be this close to you like I am right now." May looked peaceful and didn’t have much of an expression, he’s being rather monotoned, “I suppose so,” I laughed softly at his response. "I bet they're all thinking, 'what the hell are they doing together?'" I smirked "And they're probably just jealous they can't be this close to you like I am right now,” May looked over at me, “maybe they are but it doesn’t really matter,”

I chuckled and shook my head at your response, clearly amused at his nonchalance.  "You really are too cute, May-san. You have no idea how much people here want to be in my position right now, walking side by side with you and the things they would do just to be as close to you as I am right now..." May slightly nudged me to give him personal space as he looked up at me, “well none of that really matters, people will talk and it doesn’t matter.”

“Anyways I’m not interested in talking about that, what did you do while I was away on my class trip?” May asked me, I shrugged nonchalantly, "Oh, you know, the usual. Skipped class, got into a few fights, smoked a couple of cigs. The school was pretty boring without you around to keep things interesting." There was a pause before I responded "I did miss bugging you, though. It wasn't the same without my favourite president to annoy." May looked over at me intrigued, “Is that so? Did you miss me?”

"What, you want me to say I missed you? That I thought about you every second you were gone?" I paused for a moment, pretending to think hard about it before finally replying, "Maybe. Just a little bit." I said with a playful glint in my eyes. May looked at me confused, “You know, I truly can’t understand why you’re so fond of me,”

Why? I didn’t really know honestly. I just can’t help but flutter when I look at May. My heart skips a beat when he talks. I really care about May. I chuckled at his statement, "What's not to understand? You're smart, cute, and you put up with my bullshit. Plus, you're the only person I haven't been able to intimidate, which is pretty impressive, if you ask me." I smirked and playfully poked Mays cheek. "And I have a soft spot for stubborn class presidents who can handle me."

May looked over at me and he sighed, “are you hungry Rei-Kun?” I perked up at his question, my stomach rumbling slightly at the mention of food. "Now that you mention it, I am kinda hungry. Why? You gonna buy me lunch, May-san?" I teased him with an impish grin, clearly expecting May to say yes. “Of course not, let’s go get something to eat,” May said annoyed.

I feigned disappointment at his response, putting on a mock pouty expression, "Oh, come on, May-san. You're gonna let me starve?" I exaggeratedly pretended to cling to the olders arm, leaning on him for support. "Pleaseeee, buy me some food. I'm so hungryyyyy." May looked over and rolled his eyes, “Ugh your impossible, Fine fine,” My face lit up with a victorious smile as soon as I heard his agreement. I let go of his arm, no longer needing to cling to May for support. "Yes! You're the best, May-san! I knew you couldn't resist my charms." I slapped him on the back playfully, clearly pleased that I had talked him into buying me lunch.

It was now during free period and May was away doing student council work, so I was alone. I found myself wandering around aimlessly, feeling a bit bored and restless. I was walking outdoors near the tree I normally smoke at. Then I looked up and I saw Tenshi-sensei? I was stunned. My body tensed as Tenshi approached me. I tried to maintain my usual nonchalant demeanor, "What do you want, Sensei?" I asked, my voice cool and a bit guarded, as usual. I had a love-hate relationship with Tenshi. The teacher was nice and understanding, but he was also damn perceptive and insightful.

“May didn’t tell you, did he?” That question immediately caught me off guard, and my eyes narrowed further. I was immediately on high alert, mind racing as I tried to figure out what the teacher was talking about. "Huh? What didn't May tell me?" I asked, my muscles tense. the prospect of secrets being kept from me was pissing me off. Tenshi sighed, “it’s not my place to say anything.” My jaw clenched in frustration as Tenshi avoided giving a straight answer. The fact that the teacher was keeping quiet about something related to May was pissing me off even more. "Tch. Then why the hell bring it up in the first place? If it's 'not your place' to say anything, why mention it at all?" I snapped, my irritation evident in my voice. I wanted answers damnit.

“Just felt like needing to mention it,” there was an uncomfortable silence for a bit before Tenshi said “do you love May?”

I froze for a moment, caught off guard by the directness of the question. My eyes widened slightly and my heart skipped a beat. Love? I was taken aback that Tenshi was asking something so personal, so upfront. "What the hell kind of question is that? Of course, I... uh..."I stumbled over my words, uncharacteristically fumbling for a response. The fact that Tenshi had hit the mark so directly caught me off guard. “Just answer it,” Tenshi pressed on.

I grunted, feeling like a deer in headlights. Being put on the spot like this was damn uncomfortable, but the teacher's directness was pressuring me into giving an answer. "Damn it... Yes, okay? Yes, I love May. There, I said it..." I confessed. The words slipped out before I could stop himself, sounding a bit reluctant but firm. My cheeks flushed slightly with embarrassment. “Why?” Tenshi asked. I scowled at the question, feeling a mix of irritation and vulnerability. Being asked why I loved may felt like a damn interrogation. "Why the hell do you ask? Do I need a damn reason to love someone?" I snapped, crossing my arms defensively, trying to cover up the way my cheeks were flushing even more.

“You know how horrible May can be right?” Tenshi looked at me with a puzzled expression. I snorted, rolling my eyes at the question. Of course, I was aware that May could be a handful. Mauvhad a stubborn streak of a marathon, and a temper like a damn firecracker. "Yeah, I know damn well how May can be. Stubborn, temperamental, impulsive... the list goes on. What's your point, Sensei?" I grumbled, raising an eyebrow at the teacher, feeling a pang of defensiveness at the insinuated criticism.

Tenshi let out a sigh but not like the previous one, more like one of acceptance, “You really care about him huh?” I scoffed, a hint of irritation in my voice as I tried to downplay his affection for May. The truth was, I cared about him more than I would ever admit out loud "Damn right I care about him,” I huffed, crossing my arms tighter across my chest, trying to maintain my usual tough exterior. “Do you think you have a chance with him?” Tenshis interrogations was starting to irritate me. I mean the question hit too hard for comfort. I tensed up at the question. The truth was, I wasn't sure if I had a shot with him. He was so damn popular, and I knew I wasn't exactly a Prince Charming, not to mentions Mays crush on Tenshi... but damn it, I wanted a chance.

"No…Look, I know I'm not some perfect boyfriend material, okay? I'm damn rough around the edges, and I know I'm a hotheaded jerk most of the time. But that's just who I am. But despite all that, I love that damn idiot more than anything... and I want a damn chance with them. Got it?"

Tenshi listened to me as he seemed to be deep in thought. Like super deep in thought, as if he was thinking the most important question in the world. “You and May huh…what an odd pairing,” I snorted, a wry smile tugged at my lips at Tenshis statement. The irony wasn't lost on me either. I knew damn well that we made an unlikely pair. "You think I don't know that? Everyone says the same damn thing. A bad boy with a stubborn, temperamental spitfire. An odd couple, indeed." I chuckled, a hint of fondness in my voice despite his grumpy exterior.

“Say Rei, do you ever feel lonely?” I tensed up even more, the question hitting a raw nerve. Loneliness? Hell yeah, I felt lonely. But I was damn well not going to admit it, especially not to this teacher. "Tch. What kind of question is that? I'm fine, alright?" I retorted, doing my best to maintain my nonchalant demeanor, trying like hell to bury the vulnerability and loneliness under a layer of indifference.

“I know you live alone afterall,” *damn it, the reminder that I lived alone, without anyone waiting for me at home, stung more than I cared to admit. But I gritted my teeth against the pang of loneliness and forced a scoff. "Yeah, I live alone. So what? It's not like I need company or anything."I retorted, trying to sound defiant, but my voice lacked conviction. “Look here, if you ever feel alone my office is open,” I blinked, the unexpected offer catching me off guard. Tenshis office door, open if I ever felt lonely? I had expected the teacher to tease me further, not extend a damn olive branch. "Seriously...? Your office? You'd let me just barge in whenever I feel lonely?" I asked in a skeptical tone, suspicion lacing his voice, trying to figure out if the teacher had an ulterior motive.

“Just an offer,” Tenshi looked at me with a genuine smile, one that a father would give his son as he ruffled my hair. I grunted, mulling over the offer. On one hand, the last thing I wanted was to admit I was goddamn lonely. But on the other hand, the offer was... kind. Perhaps a little too kind. I huffed irritably, feeling torn between my stubborn pride and the unexpected act of kindness. "Tch. Fine damn it. I'll think about it. No promises though, got it?" I muttered reluctantly.

…

After school May entered the staff room and approach Tenshis cubical. “Sensei! What are you doing-” May was cut out by the surprise that I was sitting next to Tenshi at the cubical. My head turned when I heard his familiar voice. A pang of relief washed over me as I saw May, but I quickly schooled his features into a cool, indifferent expression. I sat with my legs crossed, arms crossed over my chest, leaning back in my chair. I said nothing, merely watching him with a sharp, unreadable gaze. "Yo." I said a casual greeting.

“Sensei…what happened…” *Tenshi glanced up from his desk, setting aside the paper he was working on. He offered a warm smile at the sight of May, gesturing for him to sit in the seat beside him. "Nothing, just a little conversation." “Uh huh,” May stood at shock as me and Tenshi looked nonchalant.

I noticed his reaction, my eyes flicking over his shocked expression. A small smirk tugged at the corner of my lips at his dumbfounded look. I shrugged casually, pretending like the sight of me and Tenshi chatting was totally normal. "What? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

“Uh huh yeah right,” May said as Tenshi turned to me, “ah Rei, your answer here was wrong it should be a,” I looked at the paper, “eh why?” As me and Tenshi spoke May kept his shocked expression.

Chapter Text

Ah love is in the air, I walked into the school gates watching men and women carry around bouquets of flowers and chocolates to give their one special person, of course, as a teenage boy I am not exempt from feeling the love and wonder of valentine’s day. Do I look forward to it? usually not, but this year was different, this year I see why this would be a special day.

I entered my classroom, and I looked at my table, piled with chocolates, letters, roses, gifts, many many more. It looked it was going to topple over at any given moment; it was a common sight for me these days, I was an attractive and desirable guy after all. Its troublesome however, I never read any of the letters and frankly I cannot keep flowers alive so its all going into the gutter. The chocolates are typically given to the staff members in my house. Well, I don’t want to keep any of these gifts anyways.

Class was about to start, and I placed all the gifts on the floor as I watched sensei enter the classroom, my Sakamoto-sensei, “class settle down, I know its Valentine’s Day but please settle down and open your textbooks to page 47,” How could a man be so attractive? I ask myself that every day.

After school I had student council activities but that was later, I have important things to do right now. I walked into the staffroom as I approached Sakamoto-senseis seat, I looked over at the mostly empty cubical except, similarly to me, the gifts were piled up, it was…overwhelming. The only thing missing from the cubical is sensei. Just as I was going to leave, I was called out for, “ah, May? What are you doing here?”

I turned around to see Sakamoto-sensei, his button up fitted, seeing his toned body, pants nicely draped on his legs, yeah, I was looking him up and down checking him out. “May, eyes up,” I looked up at Sensei feigning innocence, “yes yes sensei, and don’t mind me, I came for something, though I got distracted by the mount Everest sized pile on your desk,” Sensei was cute, he was clearly flustered as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“ah that…I didn’t think I would get any gifts, let alone this many,” Well I suppose its not a surprise, Sensei is popular, maybe even more popular than me. Though of course people that gave him gifts thinks they have a chance with him even though I am the one that has seen him at his most personal.

I bought Sensei a valentines day gift but suddenly I felt weirdly shy about giving it to him. He would most likely discard it like all the other gifts; it's nothing necessarily special. “Ah, so what are you going to do with the gifts anyways?” I watched Sensei ponder a little bit, “I will keep it obviously,” I was surprised, incredibly surprised, he was going to keep all of this? “You're not lying, are you?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. Of course he looked at me confused, “why would I lie?,” not only was he handsome he was a kind and considerate man too.

“Well sensei, with this influx of gifts I don’t see why you’d need anymore,” as I was pretending to walk out I turned around to face him, “although, mine is a little more special,” there I handed him a box of chocolates with a bouquet of his favourite flowers, lily’s, of course unlike everyone that gave roses I did my research on the teacher. Sakamoto-Sensei looked at me with a little surprise, but he still smiled as he accepted, “thank you May, that’s very considerate,”

I was satisfied with this outcome but then Tenshi called out for me, “actually may there is one more thing,” I watched as he started to scurry through his bag. I simply eyed curiously as I tilted to my side to take a better look. There he pulled out a small box, hardly any bigger than anything else I would get, then he handed it to me, “happy Valentine’s Day, May” I was a little shocked, shocked enough to be silent for longer than usual but I soon gave a sly smile, “my my aint this scandalous? A teacher giving his student a Valentine’s Day present? Is this a love confession? Of course, it’s wrong for us to date but if it’s you I’ll give it a chance~” of course in a flirty and teasing tone.

“No May, don’t get the wrong idea Ayame said I should get it for you, it’s nothing big,” I took the box while he was talking as I opened it and looked at it in awe, it was a little keychain of a heart…frankly I found it tacky but I couldn’t help but smile at the sentiment, “well isn’t this cute? I’ll keep it around cause it was from Sensei, but next time, heart gifts aren’t always a like,” I laid it to him blunt as he looked a little flustered and Sakamoto-sensei was looking flustered, “yes yes I’ll take note of that next year,”

My ears shot up at that. Next year? He was gonna give me a gift for next year? Thank you God! That means me and him would be an item hypothetically, right? I was grinning widely at this point, “next year huh? I’ll keep you to your promise sensei! ~ well well I have council duties, so I’ll get going,” I grinned as I took the gift, “I’ll see you around sensei! Don’t miss me too much!” I said before leaving, “right…see you May,” he said softly after I had already walked off.  

God, today was getting way better than I anticipated, way way better, I don’t need anything more in life than this.

After the meeting I was the last to exit the council room, as the president and all I was to make sure to tidy up everything and that everything was where it was to be. Eventually as the sun was setting radiating an orange hue I walked out the room to see a certain punk squatted down next to the council door, headphones on, uniform messy and a hold hard expression. I naturally stood in-front of him to question him, “Rei-Kun, school ended 4 hours ago, why are you still here?” He eventually looked up at me, with his stone-cold expression softening, he took off his headphones and stood up, towering over me.

“I know you had council meetings today and you usually leave the last so I waited for you,” he said it like it was an absolute fact but I was confused by the sudden care, “Why did you wait for me?,” I asked him, curiosity taking control of me, “because I wanted to walk home together, now let’s go, and don’t bother saying your driver is picking you up, I know your driver isn’t in the country right now and that your walking to school now, you mentioned it before,” well it’s good to know that he is perspective, a little too perspective, well whatever I’m sure I can entertain him a little bit as I walked next to him side by side.

“So you really waited 4 hours just to casually walk home with me?” Rei looked over at me, “what do you think May-San?” I raised an eyebrow but I didn’t question it too much as I kept walking, actually me and Rei have been going out and going home more frequently these days so it’s not surprising he’d follow me now.

As we slowly approached my home a little more, he stopped walking for a little bit. It took me a few seconds to realise this and by the time I did I was a few steps ahead of him. I simply turned around and I looked confused, “Rei-Kun?” He looked like a flustered mess, like he was gonna do and say something stupid. I watched as he pulled out a large paper bag. At this point I was intrigued

As he handed it to me silently, I took it from his hands and looked inside. It was a teddy bear, a fake bouquet of peonies and a necklace…a ‘M’ necklace. I looked up at him not giving much of a reaction, “what’s all this?” I asked blankly, Rei was still flustered and blushing, almost stuttering a little, “a gift…happy V-valentines day May-san…” Rei was struggling to make eye contact with me but he soon eventually did. The red hue covering his whole face as he was sweating slightly more than usual.

“I know you like to collect stuffed toys and your not the biggest fan of chocolate. Also you can’t take care of flowers but you like them, especially peonies. You told me before you wanted an initials necklace as well so…here…I got you these,” I tilted my head downwards to get a better look at his face. Usually I’d make fun of him but this time…he was so perspective of me…like he really put in lots of thoughts and efforts into the gift. “My my why don’t you play a song for me on your guitar as well?” I gave a teasing smile, “w-well! I thought that would be too much,” 

I gave him a genuine smile as my eyes softened at him, “hm, thank you Rei-Kun,” Slowly he gained consciousness as he stopped being so flustered before I then jumped up and hugged him arm, “come on, you gonna walk me home?” I asked with a wide smile. Rei looked at me as though he was lying but his slightly blushing face was betraying him, “yes yes let’s get you home. Your weirdly clingy today aren’t you?” “Oh am I now? Oh well!”

Chapter Text

It was soon the end of the semester and the start of the April, the start of a new school year. May was in his third year of highschool while I was in had just entered my second year. Frankly, the spring break was nothing much, it was rather boring if anything. I didn’t really go out at all. I talked and called May, but he was away in America to be with his mom. Even my good for nothing friends did nothing but bring me dread, but with the new school year at least I have May again.

As he took to the stage and started speaking, I stood with my classmates in the audience, watching him deliver the opening speech. I couldn't help but admire his confident demeanor and commanding presence. May looked powerful up there, and I found himself genuinely impressed. I leaned in closer to one of my classmates standing next to him and whispered. "Damn, look at prez up there. He's really in his element." My classmate nodded in agreement, also impressed by his speech. "Yeah, he looks pretty damn cool up there. I bet all the girls have their eyes on him right now.” I chuckled at the comment, my eyes never leaving you on stage.  "Probably. Who wouldn't? Our president is something else." I said while admiring him.

After the opening ceremony I was walking down the corridor, hands stuffed in my pockets as I made my way through the school. Suddenly, I caught sight of May up ahead. A smirk spread across my face as he called out to him. "Hey, May-san!" I quickened my pace, catching up to him and falling in step beside him. May looked up at me as he smiled, “ah, Rei/kun,” I let out a wide grin, “how was America?” “It was okay, same old same old how does it feel to be a second year,” he was wearing his usual uniform with a cardigan on top.

I shrugged and casually "It's alright, I guess. Same old bullshit, just one year ahead. I still gotta deal with annoying teachers and annoying classmates." I paused for a moment before adding with a smirk. "But on the bright side, I get to bug the hell out of you for another year. Gotta count my blessings, right?" May let out the cutest chuckle, “Right but as your senpai I’m off to college next year when your a third year so enjoy this last year of me being your senpai,” May told me like it’s the most causal thing in the world.

My smirk faded a bit at the reminder that May would be leaving next year.  "Damn, I almost forgot about that. Guess I'll have to make the most of this last year, huh?" I tried to keep my usual nonchalant façade, but there was a hint of sadness in my eyes. I didn't like the idea of him leaving and having to face my third year alone without May around. “Hm, don’t be so bummed out, we can still hang out when I’m in college,”

My mood lifted a bit at his reassurance. "Yeah, I know. But it won't be the same, you know? We won't be seeing each other every day like we do now. And who's gonna keep me in line while you're gone?" I gave him a teasing smile, trying to hide the fact that I was actually going to miss his presence quite a bit.

“Right right get to your homeroom,” May dismissed me. I rolled his eyes at your typical "council president" behavior. I knew I shouldn't keep him from his duties any longer.  "Alright, alright. I know when I'm being dismissed." I took a step back, giving him a mock salute. "See you around, May-san. Try not to miss me too much, alright?" May chuckled as he smiled forward, “ah! Sensei!” I watched as May ran towards Tenshi- sensei.

“Sensei, how was your break?” Tenshi laughed at him, “nothing much was kind of boring, do you have class May,” as their voices became more hushed as they kept walking forward. I stood in solace. I knew my feelings were unrequited. I spent the whole break trying to rationalize it, why I even liked him, when I liked him, if I can stop, I just have to live in hurt, at least until this season washes over.

It was afterschool and I was trying to find May to go home with. Last semester I’d go home with him a lot and I was hoping to do that again. As I walked through the halls I heard commotion. “hey Sakurajima-san, I was wondering if you could, you know, put in a good word for me with Rei. I know you have some influence over him,” I saw a girl, it was Rika Hayashi, my classmates, she batted her eyelashes, trying to look innocent and winsome, but her attempt was obviously fake, “Rei doesn’t “do” dating you know,” May scowled in retaliation

Rika scowled, clearly annoyed at his response. "What do you mean he doesn't 'do' dating? Every guy wants a girlfriend. And why should he say no to me anyway? I'm pretty, I'm smart, I'm popular..." She continued listing her supposed good points, "What do you mean he doesn't 'do' dating? Every guy wants a girlfriend. And why should he say no to me anyway? I'm pretty, I'm smart, I'm popular..." She continued listing her supposed good points, not noticing that her confidence was veering into arrogance, and frankly arrogance only looked good on May.

“But what makes you think your even his type,” May got closer with a mean scowl. Rika scoffed, clearly taken aback by your sudden change in demeanour. "What? Of course I'm his type. I'm cute, smart, popular... What's not to like about me?" She narrowed her eyes, her earlier arrogance quickly replaced by irritation. “You know Rei-Kun is mi-” I soon approached and intervened cutting May off. I stepped in between May and Rika, a bored expression on my face, "What's going on here?"

“Rei-Kun…what are you doing here,” May asked me as I shrugged, my eyes darting from him to Rika and back again. I leaned against the water cooler, my arms crossed. "Just happened to be walking by and heard you two talking. Sounded interesting so I thought I'd join in." I scowled at the girl as I took Mays hand, “we’re gonna have a private conversation so buzz off,” I said as I took Mays arm and walked away with him.

I pulled him away from the girl, my grip on his hand still tight as I led him from the scene. I didn't say a word until we were out of earshot.  "What the hell was that about? Why were you even talking to her?" May looked up at me irritated, “She was interested in you,” I let out a scoff, my irritation increasing. "Yeah, I heard. She was asking you to put in a good word for her with me, right? Can you believe her nerve?" I rolled my eyes, still clutching his hand in a possessive grip. “I was never gonna let you date her…” May i pouted as he looked down. “You shouldnt go dating a shank like her!” MayI looked up with an irritated expression as he pointed at me.

I chuckled at his feisty response, my irritation fading completely. "Calm down, class prez. I have no interest in dating her. I meant what I said, she's not my type at all."

"Besides, I have my eye on someone else." I muttered under my breathe.

“What’s that?” May asked me, I smirked, realizing May had heard my muttered words. I leaned in closer, my voice low and teasing. "Oh, nothing. Just a little secret I'm keeping to myself." I feigned nonchalance, clearly enjoying the fact that he had caught my muttered words.

“What’s your type anyways?” May asked me. I thought for a moment before answering his question. "My type, eh? I guess I like someone who's smart, independent, and not afraid to stand up for themselves. Someone who doesn't put up with my bullshit." I paused for a moment, my gaze flickering over his face. "And they gotta be cute too, of course." May looked up at me annoyed, “that could quite literally be anyone,” I rolled my eyes, clearly amused by his response. "I know, I know. It's a pretty broad criteria,” I smirked at him, my eyes glinting with a hint of mischief.

I continued walking, my hand lightly tugging his as I guided him through the school grounds. "What about you, class prez? What's your type?" I asked nonchalantly, stealing a sidelong glance at May. “Type?” I raised an eyebrow at his vague response. "Yeah, your type. You know, the kind of person you're attracted to. We all have a type, so come on, tell me."I bumped Mays shoulder playfully with mine, encouraging him to spill.

May thought about it, “handsome, taller than me, piercings and tattoos, smart but not smarter than me, ambitious, well-off family…” I listened to his list of criteria, a slight smirk playing on my lips.  "Damn, you have quite a checklist, don't you? Seems like you're pretty picky."I teased him slightly, my hand still holding his as we walked together. “well, I mean that’s the superficial stuff, but most of all I want someone that has seen all my flaws and wrongs of me and isn’t disgusted or put off by it, instead they love me for it, and they see me as human,”

My teasing smirk softened into a genuine smile as he spoke about what he truly wanted in a partner. I looked at him, my gaze softening. "You know, that's actually pretty damn sweet. You don't just want some hot, rich, smart, and cool guy. You want someone who loves you for who you truly are."I squeezed his hand lightly; my thumb tracing circles on the back of his hand. “Well I suppose so, I found that guy in sensei he isn’t disgusted by me,” I scowled a little bit, of course it was Tenshi-sensei, I had my nice day ruined by the reminder that May is hopelessly in love with Tenshi.

We kept walking as we walked by the park we normally go home in, spring had long started, and the cherry blossoms were starting to form. I looked up at the sakura trees, admiring the vibrant pink petals dancing in the breeze.  "Look at that, the cherry blossoms are starting to bloom. It's a pretty view, huh?" I looked over at May, still holding his hand as we walked. “Ah the trees,” we I walked under the trees.

I followed him under the trees, watching as the cherry blossom petals fell softly around us two. "Spring is my favorite season. The weather's nice, the flowers are blooming, and the trees look damn beautiful." I glanced at him, admiring his hair as the petals gently landed on his head. “Really? I always thought you were more of a winter person,”

I chuckled at his assumption and shook my head. "Nope, spring's my thing. I like winter too, but nothing beats the feeling of spring. You know, rebirth, new beginnings, and all that cheesy crap." As I spoke, I discreetly picked up a fallen blossom and tucked it behind Mays ear, my fingers gently grazing his earlobe. May gently held onto the flower as he looked at me. “Aren’t you born on December Rei-Kun?”

 I chuckled at his question, nodding in confirmation. "Yeah, it is. December 10th, to be exact. But just because I was born in winter doesn't mean I like winter better. Springs still my favorite." I looked at him, my eyes lingering on the blossom I had tucked behind his ear. Spring is my favourite, there is nothing I love more than the soft glow of spring, springs big eyes, springs gentle soft hair, springs warmth.

 “My favourite season is winter,” May said, I raised an eyebrow at his response, my expression shifting to curiosity. "Winter, eh? You like the cold, snowy weather that much?" I asked as we continued walking under the cherry blossom trees, petals falling softly around us both. “It’s just so cold and calming and I feel at peace. Though I’m born in May,” I chuckled as he explained his love for winter, amused by his reasoning."I have to admit, there's something soothing about the cold winter weather. And being born in May but liking winter more? That's kinda ironic, May-san."I teased him lightly.

“Though when the harsh winter passes, you have the peaceful spring,” May continued. I smiled at his observation, nodding in agreement. "That's true. Winter can be harsh, but it's followed by the gentle and peaceful spring. The cycle of seasons, life and rebirth, all that stuff." I looked around at the Sakura trees, petals gently carpeting the ground beneath them.

My heart was starting to beat so fast. This feels like the beginning of a cheesy romance anime, “Rei-Kun,” I noticed the seriousness in his tone, my playful demeanor shifting to genuine curiosity.  "Yeah? What is it?" May got on his toes to brush away some petals that fell on me. May chuckled as he looked at me, “there!”

I rolled his eyes at his cute response, my smirk widening. "You're being awfully affectionate, May-san. You can't just chuckle and act all coy without giving me something to go on, you know.”  “Really now? Maybe I’m just tryna help you out.” May started to walk away with a smile. I watched as he walked away, rolling my eyes again but a hint of a playful smile tugging at his lips.  "Oh, come on. That's not fair, May-san. You can't just walk away like that and leave me hanging." I jogged after him, my long strides easily catching up to him. I fell into step beside him, my hand reaching for his again.

May stopped walking as he looked back at me. I walked next to him, my hand intertwining with Mays. I noticed how he glanced back at me, and I gave you a sly smile. "You know, you can be really frustrating, you know that? Just when I think I'm making progress, you go and pull something like this." I teased affectionately, my thumb gently brushing against the back of his hand. There was a pause of silence as May looked up at me.

I met his gaze, his brown eyes locking onto his. My smirk softened as I looked at May, my expression a mix of teasing and affection. I gave his hand a light squeeze. "You're doing that thing again, with your eyes. Looking up at me like that. It's not fair, you know." I said, my voice slightly hoarse as I spoke. I couldn't help but feel a flutter of butterflies in my stomach under his gaze. I took notice of the cherry blossom petals falling delicately onto May, my breath catching in my throat as I saw how beautiful he looked with the pink petals contrasting against his hair.

May seemed to have quickly snapped out his trance as he then got flustered. That snapped me back to reality of what’s happening and I got flustered too. “Um! Well, I need to get back home, my dad’s coming early…” my expression shifted to one of slight disappointment, but I nodded in understanding. "Right, I forgot you have to get home. Don't want your dad getting all pissed off at you for being out late. Again." I sighed, reluctantly releasing his hand. I looked at him, my eyes lingering on his blossom-covered head for a moment before I spoke again.  "You should probably get going then. I'll see you tomorrow, May-san?"

May smiled back at me, “right, I’ll see you tomorrow,” May chuckled as he waved me goodbye and walked off.

I watched as he walked away, my gaze lingering on his figure until he disappeared from sight. I let out a sigh, stuffing my hands into my pockets. I knew he'd miss his presence, but I would never admit it out loud. I stayed under the Sakura trees; my thoughts consumed with images of him. I reached up and picked a fallen blossom from the ground, twirling it between his fingers. “Man…this sucks,”

Chapter Text

It was the day of the parents' teacher meeting, the day where teachers will meet students' parents 1 on 1 to talk about their progress in school and career development and I was sitting outside my classroom looking down. The hallway was rather crowded with other students and their parents, all heading to their respective classroom. The atmosphere was quiet and rather tense, though not in a bad way. The sound of chatter and footsteps filled the hallway. The students with their families appeared rather happy and loving, talking and laughing together. I watched them as I sat outside my classroom, I could see the different kinds of relationships each student had with their families. It all seemed perfect. It made me scowl as I sat there, I clenched my fists before looking down at the ground.

I heard someone approach me as I looked up with slight light showing in my eyes as I assumed it was my father approaching. Then my eyes died again as I looked up to see who it was. The woman called out for me, “May-Sama, you’re here early,” I rolled my eyes as I realized it was Suzuki, the head maid of my house. I looked away from her and went back to looking down, “did Father send you here, Suzuki-san,” Suzuki nodded, "Yes, your father has indeed sent me."

I clenched my hand harder, “So he will not be coming?” Suzuki shook her head, confirming my question. "No, he will not be attending the parent teacher meeting today. Your father has sent me instead." Suzuki sighed a bit as she looked at me. It seemed that she was aware of my disappointment, "I know you are probably disappointed that your father won't be attending, but I am here instead." I ignored her as it was finally my turn and I entered the classroom, me and Suzuki sitting across Tenshi.

“Alright, now that your both here let’s get started,” Tenshi nodded a bit as he began the parent-teacher meeting. He smiled at the two of us, his eyes lingering on me briefly. "First let me say that I've found you to be a very remarkable student. You've been doing well in your studies, doing well in your clubs, and you've also been very well-behaved in class. You're a very model student." Tenshi smiled and continued to look at me, I could see the smile in his eyes. He glanced at Suzuki before continuing. Tenshi continued his praises, “he’s the top of his cohort, he truly changed the student council for the better which helped the school. He helps his peers and not to mention he’s been representing the school in fencing, he’s truly the pride of this school,”

I kept looking sad even with all the praise, but I covered it with a smiled. Tenshi could see through my fake smile, he knew I weren't truly happy. He looked back at me, his small smile still there. "You are, in all honest, one of the best students I've seen in a long time. have you thought about your future yet?" Tenshi asked me, “my future?” I asked him back. Tenshi nodded a bit. He was still looking at me, he could hear the sadness in my tone. I was still trying to smile through my sadness. "Yes...your future. Have you given any thought to what you want to do after high school? What career path you wish to take?"

I nodded, “I’m going to study overseas then take over my fathers' business,” Tenshi nodded again. This seemed pretty typical, a rich boy with plans to take over their family's business. Yet there was an underlying sense of sadness behind his words though, "So, you plan on studying abroad and then taking over your father's business then?" I nodded, "I see...and where did you plan on studying abroad?"

“My father wants me to go to Yale,” Tenshi nodded. That made sense, with my family's wealth and influence I could pretty much go anywhere I wanted. Yale was not surprising in the slightest, I’ll fit in perfectly there. "Yale... That's an impressive school. Your father must be very proud of you." I shrugged at this, “sure,”

"Your father must adore you then, with you being his firstborn son. A son who will take over the family business and study at one of the most prestigious schools in the world." Adore me my ass, I’m still the disappointment of a son. All those achievements meant shit to me. I looked down unable to answer as Suzuki answered for Me.

Suzuki spoke up as I looked down, it seemed that I was unable to answer Tenshi's question. His eyes were on me the entire time, I couldn't lie to him. "Yes, your father adores you. You are his pride and joy" Suzuki replied. I knew Tenshi was not buying it. That man was perspective, he knew something was up, though not knowing what it was. “Right, so continuing this meeting,” Tenshi said as the meeting went on.

After the meeting me and Suzuki were gonna walk to the car. Suzuki was walking next to me; she looked at me as she spoke. "Your father was very pleased with your performance in your studies today," “Is that so?” I said coldly and uninterested.

Suzuki nodded a bit; she smiled at me as she spoke. "Yes, your father was very pleased. You are a very exceptional student; you've been doing great in your studies and in your sports teams. You're very model student; you have a bright future ahead of you." Suzuki paused for a moment; she could tell I was not the happiest about my father's praise. "Your father does adore you though, he's extremely proud of all your accomplishments." I stopped walking briefly, “Suzuki-san?” "Yes? May-Sama?” Suzuki spoke up as she looked at me.

“Go home first I’ll be staying in school for a bit longer.” Suzuki smiled a bit as she nodded "Alright, I'll head home then. You'll be staying here to finish up some schoolwork then?" She looked expectantly at me, awaiting his response. “I just want to handle some stuff I’ll be home before it’s dark,” Suzuki smiled a bit as I told her I’ll be staying to get some work done. The sun was still up but it was slowly beginning to set.

"Alright, I'll head home then. I'll see you at home soon, take care." Suzuki's smile stayed on her face as she started walking away. She turned and waved a bit before fully entering the car as it drove away and I stood there angry almost. My father is an important man. Being a big businessman, having ties to all sorts of industries and people, he says “being a Sakurajima is hard work that means I’ll always be busy,” but too busy to even come meet his son's teacher? Too busy to even drop a text that he won’t come. I hate him. I hate my father.

Rei was passing by when he saw me sitting and sulking. He walked over and sat next to me. "Hey, what's with that sad look? Something wrong, May-san?" I looked over at him as I brushed him off, “nothing,” I muttered, Rei raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying my nonchalant response. He could tell that something was bothering me. Which go be fair there was something bothering me. "Bullshit. You're clearly upset about something. Don't give me the 'nothing' excuse." I could t really say anything, I didn’t want to say anything and make him see me as weak. See me as someone with flaws.

Rei met my gaze, still eyeing me with a hint of concern. He could see the sadness in my eyes, and it was making him worry even more. "Come on, prez. Talk to me. What's bothering you? It's obvious something is wrong." He reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “How was your parents teacher meeting?” I asked Rei curiously. Rei shrugged nonchalantly, trying to brush off the question. "It was fine. Just the usual 'your grades are average, do better' talk from my parents." He tried to keep his tone casual, as if it didn't bother him. But there was a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“Your parents live in osaka though…they traveled all the way from there to attend this,” I was jealous. They traveled all the way there for him. Rei let out a sigh, realizing I had a point.  "Yeah, well, you know how my parents are. They'll travel halfway across the country just to nag me about my grades. It's annoying as hell." I looked down a little sad, “My dad couldn’t even bother taking a day off from school to even see me,”

Rei's expression softened as he heard my words, realizing the pain behind them. "Damn, prez...that's rough. Your old man didn't even show up?" He shook his head in disbelief, feeling a twinge of anger on my behalf.

“The only thing the teacher has to say about me was praises and how good I am, and my father won’t even hear it. No matter how good I am I’m just a failure to him,” Rei's jaw clenched tightly as he listened to me speak. He could hear the pain and disappointment in my voice, and it made his blood boil. "That's bullshit, prez. You're not a failure. You're the best damn student in this school. You always do your best and put in the work." He took a step closer to me. his eyes filled with anger, "And your old man is a fool for not appreciating you and your accomplishments. He doesn't deserve you." I was taken aback by this but it was nice…nice that he was defending me like he really cared about me.

Rei's gaze softened as I looked up at him. He could see the hurt and pain in my eyes, and it tugged at his heartstrings. "You don't deserve to be treated like that, prez. You're amazing in every way, and your old man is too blind to see it." He reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "But don't let his bullshit get to you. Don't let him make you feel worthless."

I looked up at him with a straight face, “Are you trying to cheer me up?” Rei chuckled softly, a small smirk appearing on his lips. "You caught me. I'm actually secretly a sappy softie who's trying to make you feel better." He gently ruffled my hair, his touch both teasing and comforting. "Is it working?" I rolled my eyes, “You suck at it,” Rei feigned an offended gasp, pretending to be hurt by my words. He dramatically placed a hand on his chest in mock surprise. "What?! You wound me, May-san. Here I am, trying my best to cheer you up, and you say I suck at it?" He chuckled and shook his head in mock disappointment, "You're brutal, you know that?" I chuckled as well, “only to you,”

Rei laughed at my response, finding your brutal honesty endearing. "I should be offended, but for some reason, I'm not. You're such a pain in the ass, May-san. But seriously though, don't let your old man's bullshit get to you. You're awesome, and he's too blind to see it. He doesn't deserve someone as amazing as you." I looked up at him with a soft smile as he said that. I didn’t understand it but I get all soft and mushy around Rei.

Rei's smirk faded into a softer expression as he noticed my change in demeanor. He could sense the vulnerability in my gaze, and it made his heart ache. Without saying a word, he closed the distance between you two. He gently placed his hand on my cheek, his touch surprisingly tender and caring.  “You're too good, you know that? Too kind and gentle. It pisses me off how much bullshit you're willing to endure."

Then I felt a jacket placed on me. I was surprised as I turned around and I saw it was Tenshi placing one on me. "Well, look at that. Sensei swooping in like a knight in shining armor, giving you his coat and all." Rei said mockingly. Tenshi chuckled softly at Rei's comment, giving him a knowing smile, "It's a bit cold out here. I thought May might need some warmth." He turned his attention back to me, his gaze kind and soft. "You sure you're okay, May? You looked pretty down a moment ago." Tenshi asked me softly.

“Ah yes,” I smiled at Rei as I looked at Rei. Tenshi chuckled softly "You two have gotten pretty close, haven't you?" Rei averted his gaze, trying to act casual. "What do you mean? We're just... acquaintances." Rei answered. That answer made me mad though, just acquaintances? After everything. Tenshi chuckled again, clearly amused by the obvious denial. He looked between the two of us.  "Sure, sure. Acquaintances. That's what we'll call it." Rei rolled his eyes, trying to keep up the façade. "Damn straight. We're acquaintances. Nothing more." While I was irritated I was also amused by this conversation, I had long forgotten my saddness over my father.

"Uh huh. And I'm sure the constant bickering, the stolen glances, and the way you two are always in each other's business is totally normal for acquaintances." Tenshi replied with a slight tease. Tenshi then came closer and wrapped his arm around our shoulders. Rei raised an eyebrow as Tenshi approached, feeling a bit defensive as the teacher playfully put his arm around us. "What are you doing, Sensei?" Tenshi chuckled, his gaze switching between the two of us. "Oh, just enjoying this little moment. May here was looking a bit down earlier, so I thought I'd drop by and check on him. And what do I find? You two alone together, being all cute and clingy." Rei scoffed, “we weren’t being cute and clingy,” I didn’t really say much just enjoying the banter between the two of them.

“Come on, I’m sure you two are tired after all of that, let’s head to dinner,” Tenshi said. Rei's eyebrow raised in surprise at the invitation, not expecting Tenshi to extend it to both of you. "Wait, you're inviting both of us to dinner?" Rei exclaimed, He glanced over at me, I smiled at the idea of having dinner with the both of them, “I think it’s good, it would finally put me in a good mood,” I said out loud. Rei rolled his eyes, trying hard to maintain his nonchalant demeanor. "Yeah, 'entertaining' is one word for it." Rei glanced at Tenshi, then at me, a hint of a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.  "Fine, fine. I’ll join y’all for dinner."

“Then let’s go! I know a good spot we can head too! Don’t worry I’ll treat you guys,” Rei laughed at that and he seemed excited to get a free meal from the teacher as I simply looked at Tenshi with a smile. At this moment I was truly happy, happy that I had people I could actually rely on. People that have seen me struggle and didn’t put me down for it.

Tenshi smiled at me, patting my shoulder affectionately. He used a gentle and warm tone, his words filled with sincerity. "I hope you're feeling a bit better, May. Remember, no matter what your old man says, you're an amazing student, and you always do your best. Don't let his words get to you, okay?" I looked up at him surprised, “you know about my father issues?” I asked him curiously.

Tenshi nodded gently, his gaze filled with understanding, "Yeah, I'm aware of the tension between you and your father. It hasn't gone unnoticed." He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze, his touch conveying reassurance. "It's tough dealing with a strained relationship with a parent, especially one who doesn't seem to appreciate your accomplishments." I looked up at him, it felt as though he understood me well.

Tenshi met my gaze, his eyes holding a mix of empathy and compassion.  "It's tough when the one person who should be your biggest supporter seems to only focus on your faults or doesn't notice your achievements." He sighed softly, his grip on my shoulder never wavering, "But remember, May, it's not a reflection on you. It's their failings, not yours." I looked at him taking in his words before I looked at him with a sly smirk.

“Sensei, if you keep this up I might fall even harder in love with you,” I responded to him. Tenshi rolled his eyes, "Now, now, don't go confessing your love to your teacher just because I'm showing a bit of empathy and emotional support." Tenshi playfully ruffled my hair, his gaze filled with warmth and care, “you should love someone not just cause of how they treat you but also love their flaws and positive traits. You should love someone for being human, not love someone for being perfect,”  Tenshi told me.

Love someone for being human? Rei, who had been silently listening, couldn't help but scoff at Tenshis words. "Damn, you sound like a walking therapy session, Sensei." He rolled his eyes, trying to feign indifference even though a small part of him was actually paying attention to the conversation. Tenshi chuckled at Rei's comment, giving him a knowing smirk. "Oh, don't pretend you're not taking notes, Rei. I know there's a part of you that finds all this deep, introspective talk fascinating." Tenshi winked playfully,

“Come on, I think if you had someone to give you affection you wouldn’t be so grump, Rei-Kun,” I said teasingly. Rei shot you a glare, his expression turning a bit defensive at my teasing.  "I'm not grumpy, I'm just... realistic. Affection is useless, and I don't need someone constantly clinging to me. I prefer being independent and free, thank you very much." Tenshi chuckled softly, observing the back-and-forth banter between us.  "Ah, the classic 'I don't need affection' defense. It's always the ones who protest the most that secretly crave the most love." “right sensei!” Me and Tenshi kept teasing and making fun of the now flustered Rei.

I’m so at peace right now, I forgot why I was even sad. I don’t want to ever feel sad.

Chapter Text

A disappointment…that’s all I knew, that’s all I knew myself as. Are my parents bad? Not necessarily. They are the same as any other ones, surprisingly nice as well but I was never good enough. I lived in Osaka for most of my life. With my mom and dad and I was actually surprisingly happy.

My mom and dad, both Dr Sakuma were both doctors and successful ones at that. They have a long list of clients form celebrities, to politicians, to businessmen, they are the definition of success.

On 2nd December 20XX a young boy was born, a small boy with light blonde hair and brown eyes, they decided to name me Rei, and I was their sweet little boy. They had me with the hopes that I’ll grow as smart and intelligent as them. Become a doctor too. They had expectations, sure they tried to be a good parent, but they always pressured me to my core.

From young I was sent to the best elementary school in the neighbourhood to be surrounded by people that are also from prominent families. “Rei-kuunn! Let’s go to the playground!” I looked up and smiled wide, I wanted to play with my friends, “yes! I’m coming!” As I was about to run up my parents stopped me. “Rei, you have classes at home we have to get going,” I looked up at my mom and I lowered my head, getting slightly sad, I wanted to have fun, I was just a kid but…I couldn’t go against my mother. I took my head down as I walked with her.

This was my routine, wake up, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to class, come home, attend classes, go to sleep. Rinse and repeat. I’ve done this my whole life. Well, I’m not saying this didn’t have its perks. I was constantly the top in my class, and I was well versed in many talents making me the ideal son, the ideal student. My parents obviously were happy and proud of me for this.

I thought the better I did, the smarter I got, the more I became perfect I’d get more freedom…

“No Rei you can’t go out today,” I looked at my mom in sadness and shock, “but why not! I did everything! I even finished my chores and and!” I was getting more agitated, I just wanted to go to my friends birthday party it’s nothing bad, “you’ll get in trouble, I’d rather you just stay at home so I can keep my eye on you, maybe you’ll end up dating someone and we can’t have that, love is a distraction and you’ll only get hurt from it, now go to your room and study,” I looked at my mom shocked cause it was just a birthday party nothing else. I stormed into my room and slammed the door behind me shut.

They were so unreasonable…I just want to have a bit of freedom…

This specific day I was forced into a nice suit and made to attend a family event on my dads side.I was over at my dads family home, “Rei, don’t leave my side stay near me,” my father told me and I just listened to him and I complied. I stayed near him as my father went to go talk to another man, my uncle. He looked well put together, but his hair was slightly longer, he had to tie it up at the bottom, he had a small stubble on his face and his hair was blonde just like mine. I looked up at my uncle in awe, I thought he looked really cool.

“Dad, can I spend time with Uncle?” I asked him, my dad was rather reluctant at first as if not wanting to let me go but eventually he agreed, “fine, just be back before 8,” I nodded vigorously, I found my uncle cool, I wanted to talk to him. My uncle smiled at me as we made our way away from the party and into his bedroom. I looked around and I was in awe, there were posters on the walls, and various vinyls and and CDs, all from various different metal bands, Metallica, black sabbath, Judas Priest, nirvana…and much much more. I looked over at them as my uncle chuckled, “they are my prized possessions,” my uncle finally spoke up.

I looked more around and he had many different instruments in his room, guitars, basses, drums, even a saxophone. I picked up the electric guitar, a red Gibson SG. I looked at it with wide eyes and my mouth slightly agape as I started to strum the strings slightly. My uncle laughed at me as he took the guitar, “here boy, let me help you,” I watched as my Uncle sat down on his bed as he started to play a beautiful melody, “you see, if you tune it right you can make this sound,” “uncle, when did you learn how to play the guitar?” My uncle thought for a bit, “since young actually, I really loved the guitar and I live music in general,”

I jumped onto the bed, “can I learn to play like you too?” I asked him, with so much innocence in my eyes. My uncle ruffled my hair as he smiled, “of course! Maybe I could teach you, only if you wanted too,” I heard this and I nodded. “Then it’s settled! I’m gonna teach you all I know about music,”

From this point on I started to go back to my uncle's place to learn about music. It was freeing, it was calming. From the routine of my boring life to suddenly have something to look forward foo every week shook up my world in a way I didn’t think it could. “Oi kid, I have a gift for you,” I looked up my uncle in surprise as I looked up at my uncle as he gave me a guitar case, “so that you can practice the guitar even if I’m not around,” I opened it and I looked in surprise, it was the exact same guitar my uncle had and looked with a starry expression.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I jumped up and hugged my uncle. “Alright boy, just make sure you continue music no matter what, okay?” I nodded at this as I happily carried the guitar home.

As I entered my home my mom looked at me with a strange expression as I brought the guitar back, “what’s that, Rei?” I smiled up as I looked up at her, “it’s a Gibson SG! Uncle gave it to me!” I had so much child like joy and wonder, like I finally found the purpose of my life, I loved music, I wanted to work with music. My mother however wasn’t very pleased, “a guitar really? What are you going to do? Become a musician or something,” I was oblivious to her scowling tone as I answered, “yes!”

My mom scoffed as she told me, “Don’t be a disappointment, your supposed to do something relevant with your life, not be a ‘musician’,” I looked at my mom a little sad as she sighed, “go to your room,” I looked down as I went to my room.

I still continued to learn the guitar but I had a lot of pushback. My parents would prevent me from visiting my uncle to learn on some days but I didn’t care I kept playing in my room, this was my passion I wasn’t going to stop just yet!

Eventually I was at the age where I would be attending middle school, and my parents applied for me to attend Shuchin Academy. One of the top middle schools and highschools in the country. Here was the dilemma though, the school was in Tokyo meanwhile I was in Osaka, that was would mean I’d have to be sent there. My parent's work was based in Osaka so it’s not like they can move with me. So, they had to let me go alone. No other schools in Osaka would be as good as shuchin so they decided to let me go there and live alone.

So here I was at 13 living in a new city, all on my own, going to a foreign school. I packed my bags as I went to the train station as my parents hugged me, “we will miss you Rei, be good okay? I hope you make me proud,” I nodded as I boarded the train and made my way to the new area. Most kids my age would be crying and whining about leaving their family and friends but I was excited. I was finally away from my family’s grasp. I could maybe, just maybe finally be free.

As I settled into my apartment, I was weirdly happy, I’m away from my family, I can actually willingly go out freely, I can be a stupid kid.

As the new school year as everyone settled in their classroom, I still haven’t really made any friends as I laid my head on my table, then one of the students approached me, “Rei! The guys in the class are going to a party, you should join,” a party huh? I should go! I mean this is the whole teenage experience going to parties, “alright I’ll join,” the classmate lit up, “alright! I’ll send you the address!”

So now here I was, an awkward 13-year-old at my very first house party. As I walked inside, I noticed everything flirting with people and students my age getting drunk, doing drugs, engaging in sex, it was such a surreal experience. Going from music being banned in my household to only hearing loud music everywhere, it was overwhelming, I was excited but overwhelmed.

As I went to grab a drink a girl approached me, “I don’t think I have seen you before, what’s your name?” I looked over at her, “oh I’m Rei um I’m from shuichin,” the girl eyed me, “a first year I’m assuming? I’m from the girls school across the street, the names Kyoko,” I nodded, “nice to meet you,” I looked at her.

I don’t know how it happened but I ended up going to a love hotel with her, I exited the shower with a robe on as I approached the girl who was sitting on the bed. I awkwardly sat the edge of the bed. The girl crawled towards me as he wrapped her arms around me, “you’re a virgin, aren’t you?” I blushed at this as I responded, “yes,” the girl chuckled as he led me to the bed with me pinning her down.

Our lips connected as we started to kiss. The simple case became a full on make out as I started to feel her around. Her breasts we’re nice and plump and she had a good body. I was just a teenage boy after all, with raging hormones, this was all just a fantasy too me. I spread her legs after a while and eyed her pussy in awe a little as she chuckled, “you can touch me you know?” She said I went and gently felt around.

Kyoko let out a moan as I kept going, taking in the warm cunt in front of me, Kyoko got up as she laid me down before gently holding my dick, “here let me help you~” here I was a virgin boy getting my first blowjob. Well in the end I ended up losing my virginity that night and it was amazing.

At the end I was laying on the bed as the girl laid next to me, she seemed sweet I wanted to try love, “hey um want to go on a date or something?” The girl laughed at me as she got up, “date? No way, I wouldn’t date anyone let alone someone like you, love isn’t worth your time. Some advice Rei-Kun? Don’t do romantic relationships, you’ll end up crushing yourself,”

I took in the words as I kept thinking about it. Crushing myself over love?

But I felt so guilty, I felt like I did something wrong, that my parents would be disappointed in me, but that just gave me a high, this was my first taste of freedom. A freedom I wasn’t going to get rid of anytime soon. A high I can never stop, a high that would end up killing me.

From then on I became sort of a party animal, coming home late, missing classes, hooking up, eventually drinking and even drugs. It all felt so good, food freeing. Of course, because of my bad habits my grades started to slip, the once perfect student was now the bottom few in the class, but I didn’t really care.  

This was when I noticed people started to talk, they started to gossip about me, started to view me as the bad boy, the kind that always got in trouble. Though, people seemed to be fawn over me because of it so it’s not a whole net negative. But it pissed me off. Being perceived pissed me off, being seen in a bad light was annoying, the students calling me a disappointment, saying I had no future, it was all so irritating, but even more than that I hated being seen as perfect.

There was a knock at my classroom door as I looked up see a student enter the classroom, “ah sorry to disturb but there are the papers that you asked for sensei,” the whole class was chattering and gushing about the student infront, May Sakurajima, class 2-1, it was unfortunate I went to the same middle school with this boy, to think I’ll attend the same highschool as him too pissed me off. The only Son of the Sakurajima family was a prominent figure in this school. Good grades, smart, well behaved, well liked by everyone, friendly, the definition of perfect. Everyone loved him. I didn’t understand why, there is no way he’s that perfect, there has to be something wrong with him, something that no one would know.

I clenched my fists as my classmates talking about the boy, “he’s so cute, isn’t he?” “He’s so amazing,” “I wish I could be friends with him,” “I want to date him!” I didn’t quite understand the appeal. He was just a fake person, I can see through him, I was like him, I know there is no one way someone in that good. And date? That’s just crazy. Dating someone fake like that? You might as well develop a relationship with a Barbie doll at that rate. Anyways I’d never date, love is too complicated, I’ll never be able to love, everyone is a little fake and everything is a little troubled and I wouldn’t want to be involved with someone that would only cause me to crush myself, cause me to be all vulnerable.

As the rain poured, I was holding my umbrella walking home, as I walked home I heard sounds, animalistic whimpering specifically, I looked and I saw a small white dog in a box, he seems to be cold and abandoned. I was planning on leaving it but it seemed go be in a bad state. I couldn’t just leave this poor dog, “seriously, who would abandon a poor puppy,” I took him back to my place as I essentially nursed him back to health. “Come on, I should take you to the vet,”

As the dog got better, I was going to leave him and have someone else adopt him, but the dog ran up to me and nuzzled against me, “woah! Hey there buddy,” I squat down, and I pet it. The dog was happily barking and running around me, as if it thinks I’m going to keep it, crap I can’t just abandon this small dog now. “Fine I’ll keep you, you happy?” The dog started to jump up as if it understood what I said, “let’s see what should I name you? How about yuzu?” I started to play with my dog yuzu. I usually feel really lonely so having a companion would be nice and I loved this dog.

But the loneliness was killing me a little. A dog was nice, but I needed more. More to mention as my grades kept slipping it got bad and my parents soon found out how I was doing in school as they took the bullet train to Tokyo just to berate me, “seriously! I thought you could be trusted but no! The moment your out of our control you do this to me! God your such a disappointment!” I say on the couch looking down, disappointment, when I’m good I’m a disappointment, when I’m bad I’m a disappointment, what even the point anymore? I’m just a disappointment.

This just fuelled me to indulge in my bad habits more, I kept partying harder, my drug intake got worse, and I continued hooking up with people with no consequences. I loved yuzu but I needed to fill the void in my life. I don’t know if it’s cause of how I looked or what but people really seems to like my carefree attitude, I knew people were talking about me and I knew people were into me and obviously I got a lot of love confessions cause of it, “Rei-Kun…please go out with me,” I would always look at them with a blank expression before Giving a sly smirk. I used these girls for my temporary high, I liked the attention and love they gave me, I would just mess with them for a bit before leaving them, I would never date. Too…emotional, it was too troublesome for someone like me, someone that prefers the temporary high compared to a lifetime of struggle and suffering called love.

 I started to rely on music more too, to stop myself from indulging in these things even more I started to play my guitar and rely lean into my hobbies, music was like an escape, where the only things that can be heard are my own thoughts, where no one else mattered. Sitting on my bed strumming my guitar, sulking in my own emotions, it helped ground me. Helped me.

One way or another. Somehow, I ended up doing okay enough to make if to highschool so now I started my first year of high school. It was the same old same old until the second semester happened. As I went to the school roof to retrieve my wallet I left I saw May Sakurajima and the new teacher Tenshi Sakamoto getting handsy. As I looked at shock, I smiled to myself, May Sakurajima, I knew you were perfect, I knew you were a problem child! I was ecstatic, I can’t wait to make everyone realize their perfect student was just as damaged as me.

Though when I did confront him, "But would your loving hard working parents want to know their only son is doing drugs?" that shook me a little bit. Was he blackmailing me? I knew he wasn’t all good but man blackmailing me? I was shocked, as the conversation ended, "Well then thats settled goodbye Rei-kun although... I feel like we'll see each other a lot more after today" I watched as May walked away not knowing this would be the start. The start of my end.

The final semesters of year 1 ended and I realized how damaged, how messed up May is and it made me reflect on myself, on my own damaged personality. When I’m with May I feel at peace. I feel happy, I feel loved. With May I don’t feel like I’m avoiding my issues, I feel like I’m confronting my issues, really facing it head on. Acknowledging how bad it is, how I should stop, and with May I’d do stop. I haven’t hooked up since my feelings for him grew. I didn’t need people to fulfill my life, I was satisfied with May.

Worst of all I started getting more jealous. Jealous of May and Tenshi, I wanted to May to love me. Isn’t that crazy? Rei talking about love. It was shocking. I’m surprised too that I fell in love with May of all people but he’s just so shining. I know everything bad about him, I know how horrible he can be and that just made me love him more. Love how no matter how much he suffers he still tried to cheer me up, to make me feel better.

Though this didn’t mean my issues got better, still getting berated by my parents, the rumors in school, the constant use of substances, it made me feel like shit constantly, I was constant reminded that I was a disappointment. Rei, you’re a disappointment.

Chapter Text

Old habits die hard was in the club, surrounded by a group of my rowdy ‘friends.’ They were laughing and drinking, enjoying the night out. A pile of coke laid out in front of them. I had a credit card in hand, preparing to do a line. Then someone yanked my head up preventing me from snorting it all up, “really? Drugs in a club?” I looked up in surprise to see it was May, my May.

I nearly jumped out of my skin as he suddenly grabbed my chin, yanking my head away from the coke line. I looked at him with a mixture of surprise and annoyance. "Damn, May-san. A little warning next time, yeah?" I said, my eyes narrowing at him as my ‘friends’ snickered in the background. May ran a hand through his hair, “seriously, keep doing that and you’ll end up at an asylum,”

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, pulling my head away from his grip. I shot a quick glare at his friends, signaling for them to shut up, "I'm not gonna get addicted. I was just messing around, alright? I know my limits." I said, his tone slightly defensive. I knew May was right, but I didn't want to admit it. Besides, the last thing I wanted was to look weak in front of him. “Yeah, but I don’t wanna have to visit you when you're wearing grippy socks and a white gown,”

I snorted at Mays comment, a small smirk tugging at my lips. The thought of him visiting me in a mental institution was ridiculous and kind of amusing. "Haha, very funny, May-san. I'll make sure to send you a photo if I ever end up there."I said sarcastically, my eyes darting to the coke line on the counter, before looking back at him.

May ended up sitting next to me and my friends started to eye him like a piece of meat. I noticed how my friends were ogling at him, their gazes raking over Mays body. I felt a pang of irritation, an unexpected sense of possessiveness welling up inside me. I shot a glare at his friends, silently warning them to back off. They got the hint and averted their gazes, but not before shooting me a smirk, implying that they found May attractive. This only further annoyed me, and I turned my attention back to May.

My irritation flared up again as I saw one of my friends approach him, eyeing May with a sleazy smirk. My hands clenched into fists, my jaw clenching as J struggled to contain my anger. "Oi, back off, buddy. he’s not interested." I said coldly, my gaze fixed on the guy. The dude just chuckled, looking at me with a smug expression, "Oh, is he yours then? hes pretty hot." I bristled at the guy's remark, my possessive feelings growing stronger. I took a step closer, my voice dropping to a dangerous tone. "Yeah, he's mine. So back off, jackass." My friend raised an eyebrow, clearly amused, and shot back.  "Relax, man. I was just flirting a bit."

Mag looked rather amused by this, but I was getting increasingly irritated. I quickly paid for the tabs, eager to get both of them out of there. I couldn't stand the thought of that guy leering at May any longer, and I was determined to get him out of there. "Alright, let's go. We're leaving." II grabbed his hand firmly and pulled May towards the exit, glaring at my friend one last time. “What were you even doing at a club?” May asked me. I sighed as the two of us exited the club, the cool night air hitting us. I shoved my hands in my pockets, avoiding eye contact with him as I answered. "I was just hanging out with my dumbass friends. I didn't expect to run into you here."

May tilted his head, “Are they really your ‘friends’?” I shrugged, a hint of sarcasm in my voice. "If you can call them that. They're more like a bunch of idiots that I tolerate." I said bluntly, not bothering to sugarcoat my words. I stole a glance at him, trying to gauge Mays reaction. May rolled his eyes at me, “they seem rather old and sleazy,” I chuckled at his observation, the hint of disgust in Mays voice.  "That's an understatement. They're older, yeah. And yeah, they're definitely sleazy bastards. I don't really like hanging out with them, but they're hard to shake off." I said, gripping on Mays hand tightening involuntarily.

“You can do better than this,” May said as I raised an eyebrow, surprised by his statement. I looked at him, a mixture of curiosity, and some hint of warmth in my eyes. "What do you mean by that? Are you implying that I need better friends?" I asked, my gaze flickering over his face, searching for any sign of mockery or condescension. But all I could see was sincerity in his eyes, and it made me feel a bit uneasy.

“I’m implying that your better than them,” May stopped walking. I stopped walking as well, facing him fully. I was surprised by his words, and my heart fluttered in my chest. I couldn't remember the last time someone had believed in me so wholeheartedly. "You think so? That I'm better than them?" I asked, my voice tinged with disbelief. I held his gaze, waiting for his response, the night air feeling a bit colder than before. “I know so,” May said as he looked at me seriously.

My heart skipped a beat as he spoke with certainty. I was still struggling to believe that someone could have so much faith in me, especially someone like May. "What makes you so sure of that? I'm just as much of a screw up as they are." I said, a hint of insecurity peeking through my usual cocky façade. The wind blew on us ever so slightly as our hairs moved along with the wind, “cause I’ve seen your humane side,”

My expression softened at his words, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. It was rare for someone to acknowledge my good side, and even rarer for someone to actually appreciate it. "You've seen my humane side, eh? I didn't know I even had one." I teased; my voice filled with subtle affection. Despite my usual tough guy act, I was secretly moved by his words.

“Even if the world ends, I’ll never stop defending you,” May said as he looked straight into my eyes.

My heart skipped a beat at his words. No one had ever promised me that they would always defend me, not even my own family. It was a strange yet beautiful promise, and it made me feel...wanted. "You... you really mean that? Even if everything else goes to hell. You'd still defend me?" May simply nodded not really saying much.

My jaw clenched as I processed his words. I wasn't used to this amount of loyalty, and a sense of vulnerability washed over me. I tried to keep my composure, but I was failing a bit.

Though May lightened up the mood by giving a big smile and a little tease, “Now seriously stop hanging out with those guys, you saw the way they were eyeing me,” May said with grin. "Yeah, I noticed that. Don't worry, I won't be hanging out with them anymore. Those idiots have no manners." I told May with a sigh.

“I love casual sex as much as the next person but man I felt violated,” I was feeling a little jealous over this, the thought of someone else touching May made me feel possessive and upset. "I could tell. The bastards were practically undressing you with their eyes. It was disgusting."

My arm encircled his waist protectively, pulling May closer to me. I wanted to shield him from any unwanted gazes and keep may solely for myself.  "Don't worry, no one's going to touch you like that. Not while I'm around." May chuckled, “yes yes Rei-Kun,”

My gaze lingered on May, admiring his features under the soft light of the streetlamps. The night air was cold, but I couldn't help but feel a strange warmth in my chest as I looked at him. "May-san?" I said quietly, my fingers tracing small circles on his hip. “Hm?” May hummed. I gave me a soft smile. “you’ll really defend me huh?” May looked up at me as he smiled, “of course!”

I couldn't help but chuckle under my breath, my expression softening further. "Even though I'm a bit of a mess, huh?" May rolled his eyes, “your more than a mess,” I rolled his eyes at Mays comment, a smirk playing on my lips. "Gee, thanks for the encouragement. I really appreciate being labeled as a disaster." I couldn't help but chuckle again, shaking my head in amusement. My smirk widened as I looked at him. "So, we're both disasters, huh? What a match made in hell."

There was a slight silence as we walked together, “hey May-san, do you think I’m a disappointment?” I asked him, taking the conversation to a sudden serious turn. “Disappointment?” May asked me rhetorically. I expression suddenly changed, my usual confident veneer fading. I fidgeted slightly, avoiding eye contact with May. "Yeah, you know...like a disappointment to my parents, to my friends, to my teachers. To everyone I guess..."My voice was quieter than usual, and there was a hint of vulnerability in my eyes. It was rare to see me this open.

“Maybe you are…but does it really matter? I think your pretty great,” May answered. My chest tightened at his words, and my heart skipped a beat. It was a strange feeling to hear someone say they thought I was 'pretty great'. I looked at him, surprise flickering in my eyes. "You...think so? You think I'm great, even though I've screwed so much up?" May thought about it, “We’re both screwed up so who am I to judge?”

I let out a soft chuckle, my expression growing soft. It was true; the two of us were both far from perfect. "Yeah, I guess you've got a point there. We're both a couple of screw-ups, huh? But you know what? I kind of like that about us. We're the real damn deal, flaws and all."

May looked straight with a smile, “Well, I’m fake as hell, I can only be like this with you,” my heart skipped a beat at his words, a wave of affection washing over me. I had always seen May as a strong, confident person, and knowing that I was the one you felt comfortable enough to open up to made me feel...special. "You're not fake, not to me. The fact that you can be yourself with me... it means a lot, you know that?"

May glared at me, “Don’t let it get to your head,” I chuckled at his dismissive tone, my smirk widening. "Don't worry, I won't let it inflate my ego too much. But I gotta say, it feels pretty damn good being the only one who gets to see the real you."

“Yes, yes come on let’s go to your place, I wanna see your dog,” May said. I rolled my eyes at his eagerness, a small smile playing on my lips.  "Alright, alright. We can go to my place. But no getting too attached to my dog, got it? I don't want him to like you more than me."

As me and May kept walking and talking I couldn’t help but reply the conversation over and over again in my head, “even if the world ends I’ll never stop defending you,” the fact that someone didn’t view me as a screw up is nice…I feel human with May. Neither perfect nor a disappointment.

Chapter Text

"Hey sensei, I'm turning 18 next week", "eh? Really? Happy early birthday!", "I was just thinking...do you wanna spend my 18th birthday with me?", was he really asking me that? "Wouldn't you rather spend it with your friends?", May shook his head "I'm spending my birthday with my friends the day before cause I reserved my birthday specifically for you~", I wanna reject the offer but the fact he reserved it specifically for me I felt like I had no choice but to say yes "sure", I ruffled Mays hair "I'll spend your 18th birthday with you", Mays face immediately lit up "really?!? Then it's this Friday meet me outside the train station, ok?", he's really cute when he acts like this, I really wished he was actually my son, "sure that sounds fun", May hugged me tighter as we walked to school.

May 6th, the day before Mays birthday hey…what am I doing? I know I agreed with May that i’ll spend his birthday with him but damn, I can never say no to him, when it comes to May I feel like I always have to make him happy I mean his life is already hard I want to make it better however way I can, but, does this count as an outing like friends? what would that be. i was wearing white button up and some jeans with just some casual sneakers. as i waited for May i kept looking at my phone.

“Hey sensei!” I looked up from my phone and i saw May all dolled up. he was wearing a white hoodie, some jean shorts and some white tights wearing the cutest Mary janes and his hair down. he looked absolutely adorable. “Sensei let’s go!” i was about taken a back, i found myself blushing a little, i didn’t expect him to go all out with that outfit he was so cute.

as i was going to speak May wrapped himself around my arms, “sensei, i want to go the aquarium!” i wanted to break free but i decided to just stay out and let him hug my arm fully. “sure let’s go to the aquarium”, “great! then it’s a date” date? i didn’t see it as a date, i saw it as us just being close not a date date, now a romantic date, just a friendly date, i was going to say something but it’s his 18th birthday and i didn’t want to ruin his birthday for him so i’ll just let him thinks it’s a date then once i see him again i’ll set clearer boundaries with him. yea that seems like a good plan at least I think it is I mean we won’t kiss? We won’t do anything bad right? What’s the harm that can happen when you treat the student that has a crush on you onto a date.

As we made our way to the aquarium I saw may immediately get infatuated with all the different sea creatures, and I would admit, I was too very infatuated with everything I saw. The pretty fishes, the illuminating jelly fit, the string rays floating about but my eyes weren’t fixated on those, it was fixated on may, the cute yang boy that was more drawn to the animals than he ever was with me. That’s he may that I love, the may that would look at the world so brightly and vibrantly, the may that doesn’t idolize me, the may that’s obviously of age. As of now, the may I know is the student that I care about, but in my head, the may I have created, that’s the most beautiful may, the may that reminds me of the sakura trees of spring with the light gusts of wind flowing through. I wanna help may reach that state of self love and joy, I wanna help may become that boy that people can love, someone that he can love.

After the aquarium we we out and got some ice cream as we sat at a nearby bench “hey senses, I had lots of fun!I hope we can do this again! Hey hey hey sensei, what was your favorite? I liked the stingrays and octopus”, the sort of innocence he had while he was talking about his interests was super cute. “Me personally I liked the jellyfish, they were really pretty to look at”, i gave him the honest truth, i’m gonna lie when i’m with May. “so? am i as. ute as the jellyfish? or maybe cuter?”, what? i thought we were finally having a normal conversation “what? where did that come from?”,

“well i mean considering how you were looking at me more than the actual jellyfish maybe you found me prettier”, what?!? he noticed that?!? “ah hahaha that was just cause i guess…”, may looked at me expectedly “i guess i did find you quite cute”, i admitted that and Mays face light up. “well you know sensei i am of age now, why don’t we go to the love hotel nearby”, no no no no no no no i wasn’t going to have sex with my student. “no way! what gave you that idea!”, “oh come on! i’m an adult now, and plus no one has to know,” yea but still! we were having a nice moment, way for him to ruin it “but still no, May look i know you love me but i don’t want to…sleep with you…you should find someone your age to do that with”, May gave me a pout before replying “ok fine…but can i have your number?”,

ok now where is this conversation going? first it was a nice trip to the aquarium, then we talked about hooking up and now he’s asking for my number? “why do you even want my number?”, “to text you obviously! i wanna keep talking to sensei even after i graduate so this way we can stay close!l, something tells me this isn’t the real answer so i was quite hesitant to give him my number and i guess May could see that, “come on! pretty pleaseee i’ll use it well!consider it your birthday present to me!”, when he puts it like that i can’t disagree…crap i always fold backwards when it comes to him. “ok fine…” i gave may my phone and i let him add his number. i looked over and i saw him saving his contact name as ‘may’ with a red heart next to it. i was a bit puzzled “why’d you add a heart next to your name?” may simply giggled “cause i’m the sweetest aren’t i?”, i was going to change his contact name but may stopped me. I looked to see what name saved my name as and he saved it as ‘my dear sensei’ with the same red heart next to it. I was even more puzzled but i kept that feeling to myself, maybe i was an enabler but i simply didn’t want to deal with his mood swings.

“Well anyways, happy birthday May”, i said as i ruffled his hair, May seemed to be blushing and he looked up at me “thank you!” he said with deity the cutest smile. this kid really was cute.

eventually me and May split ways and my phone kept blowing up, as i looked at my phone i kept getting messages from May, they were all selfies of him while he’s walking home…oh dear lord this will be a long,long, long year…

May P.O.V

I had so much fun with sensei today, I'm so glad I could finally go on a date with him and hopefully there will be more dates in the future hehe. I just want to keep texting sensei everyday, I love sensei, sensei makes me feel the love I never felt at home. Sensei makes me feel the love I never felt with any other guy. Sensei makes me feel the love that I ever so desperately craved as a child till now.

I kept sending Sensei pictures and selfies of myself since I just wanted him to see how much I love and care for him. Although sensei seemed super out of it today...it's fine! Even if I make advances on him it's not like he's gonna reject me, afterall he's been super sweet to me, even if I make him uncomfortable he always runs back to me! It's only enevitable that he'll fall in love with me, yes of course he'll fall in love with me, every guy I've met has instantly fell in love me, whether they were lying or not so that they get the chance to fuck me I don't care cause sex is still a form of love. I love being loved and I'll continue being loved. I don't want to talk about the bad in my life I just wanna talk about how loveable I am, not how destructive I am. My whole life centers around being loved, I wanna be loved.

As I was walking home I passed by my local park and I saw a familiar face there. Oh! It's rei! It's been so long since I've seen him, I'm gonna tell him all about the date I had with tenshi. As I stepped closer I realized that rei seemed a bit colder almost sad he was sitting on the swing looking down and had a somber expression. I got curious, rei is usually super cool and collected what's got him acting like this all of a sudden. I approached him and I looked down on the Rei that was sitting on the swing

"Yo! Hehe", I gave him my usual cute response afterall I'm so cute and loveable am I not? I thought Rei would be ecstatic to see me but instead he just looked at me blankly and went back to being so sad. I kept up my cute act trying to get a reaction out of him, "come on! Don't suddenly ignore me, it's my birthday today you know?", once again Rei just looked at me as he quietly muttered out a simple reply "yea I know... happy birthday...", hmm well a birthday wish is a birthday wish but I wished he had a bit more emotion while talking to me. "So May...how was your 'date' with tenshi-sensei...", my eyes lit up at the mention of tenshi, "how'd you know I went on a date with tenshi?", Rei looked back at me "cause I overheard y'all talking about it", ehe oopsies.

"Well yes I went on a date with him! It was the best! First we-", I cut myself off, Rei clearly looks upset, usually I'd just keep talking about myself but right now I wanna help him feel better...that's so strange I never felt that way before "well nevermind my date, what's up with you? Why are so...sad?", I asked directly, Rei looked at me, rather shocked, "well if you don't want to tell me thats fine...", there was a moment of silence before Rei spoke again, "i wanted some fresh air, just an argument with my family on the phone...", 

"What was the argument about?", there was another pause "my parents wanted me to go become a doctor but I wanted to become a musician", I stared at him a little in awe "you want to become a musician!! What instruments do you play!! Can you play for me sometime please please please please", I kept bombarding him with questions, this had him leaving out a little chuckle, it was cute. "Relax, I play the guitar and I sing...also I'll play for you sometime ", yayyyy!!! I waited for Rei to keep talking about him home life, "I want to make my parents proud but...I want to follow my heart", I felt that...I want to make my parents proud too but it's nearly impossible. I squat down to Reis level before I kept talking

"You know...I don't have a good relationship with my parents either...after my parents for divorced my mom barely comes to visit and my dad, with full custody on me was very harsh...but with you...your parents still love you, maybe try to reason with them, and if they still don't accept your dream say fuck them and go and live your life", for once I was being honest, for once I was showing my unfiltered self, the self I don't let other people see. It's weird...I can let Rei see that self but not Tenshi, the man I love. Well I want tenshi to love me especially my flawed parts...but with Rei, I feel like I can tell him anything. I felt comfortable around Rei.

I watched as Rei gave a chuckle "wow, this May is better than the May that's obsessed with his teacher".

"What do you mean?".

"it's like when tenshi-sensei is around you always suddenly are super pushy and trying to make yourself seem cuter and sweeter than you are. The self you show tenshi is curated. But this May is very truthful and is not afraid to speak his mind".

I looked up at Rei, I still don't see it, I'm still being myself, I still don't get it but I found myself feeling more monotonous around Rei, less hyper...more calm and I felt relaxed around him....

"You think so?", "I know so", I watched as Rei got of the swing and I stood up, them he passed me a box "I bought this for you as a birthday present, I was going to pass it to you next week in school but since your here I might as well give it to you on your birthday. Here, happy 18th birthday, May Sakurajima", I looked at the box before opening it. My eyes widened a bit in surprise but a very welcomed surprise. 

It was a red heart necklace "it's a red heart...", Rei looked at me with a genuine smile "the heart reminded me of you", I felt happy when Rei said he thought of me, it's weird...when I'm with Rei I barely think about sensei but when I'm without him all I can think about it sensei. With Rei I feel like I'm free to express myself however, I feel like I'm not constrained in my personality, I sort of felt free from my constant persona and sensei thoughts. I wore the red heart necklace and I looked back at Rei.

"How does it look on me?", 

"You look stunning",

I made my way home and Laid on my bed as I fidget around with the necklace. This was the best birthday ever, because of my angel and my friend.

Chapter Text

It was the next week, and May was in the student council room looking through some reports which included student grades. I entered the student council room, a lazy expression on my face. I saw him flipping through some reports, and I raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "What you looking at there, May-san? Noticing something interesting in the reports?" May looked down at the reports as he said that in a hushed tone, “Rei-Kun…” I walked closer, leaning against the table next to him to get a closer look. I gave him a sidelong glance, my smirk widening slightly. "Yeah? You sound a bit stern there,"

“How are you constantly the bottom few!” May looked up at him surprised and concerned, as he had a loud outburst looking up at me, I shrugged nonchalantly, feigning indifference. "What, you're surprised? Did you expect me to be at the top or something?" I asked, a hint of sarcasm in my voice. Deep down, I already knew that he was concerned about me. “I expected you to at least be average,” I rolled my eyes, a hint of defensiveness in my expression, "Hey, don't expect so much from me. Being average takes effort, and I'm not really into that whole 'studying' thing. Besides, I have more important things to focus on." I said, trying to brush off Mays concern, as usual.

Mid terms were coming up soon, so this was a bit concerning, “This settles it!” I stood up. I raised an eyebrow, looking at May with a mixture of curiosity and slight annoyance. I had a feeling I knew whete this was going.  "Whoa, settle down, May-san. What's got you so worked up now?" May stood infront of me as he pointed at me, “You’re going to study with me from now on! I can’t have you kicked out of shuchin!” My eyes widened in surprise, taken aback by his sudden declaration. "What?! You're joking, right? You seriously expect me to sit with you and study like some damn diligent student?" May kept talking, “Come on, please? I can’t lose you,”

My heart skipped a beat at your words. I hadn't expected to hear such a plea from May, and it tugged at my heartstrings. "...Damn you, May-san. You know I can't say no when you plead like that." I sighed, knowing he was powerless against your plea. I shot him an annoyed look, trying to maintain my usual cool façade. "Fine, fine. I'll study with you. But don't expect miracles, alright? I'm not exactly a genius when it comes to academics." May lit up and said calmly, “that’s good, I’ll make sure your top 15”

And that’s how me and May started our study routine. We were in the council room as we sat on the couch, there was a table in between the two conches and May sat across me. My gaze flickering between the textbook in front of me and Mays focused face. I was finding it hard to concentrate, my eyes often drifting lazily to look at May instead of studying, "Ugh, why is this stuff so damn boring? I can barely focus on this crap." May sighed, “Come on come on what are you studying,”

I sighed, reluctantly looking at the textbook in front of me. "It's chemistry. Something about atoms and molecules and all that bullshit. It's not really my thing, honestly." I admitted, my gaze flickering back to May again, watching his concentrated expression. “Come on let me help you,” May told me. I rolled my eyes, but I knew I needed his help. Not wanting to admit it, I nodded begrudgingly, "Fine, help me out here. I'm not getting any of this crap." I said, pushing the textbook towards him.

As May started to teach me, I was surprised by how well I was retaining the information May taught me. I was actually understanding and absorbing the subject, and I had to admit, May was a pretty damn good teacher, "Huh, this is actually starting to make sense." May had a clam and cool demeanour as he answered, “that’s good, I really want you to do well,”

My usually cold and guarded demeanor softened at Mays words. I knew he cared about my academic success, and it made my chest feel strange. I wanted to say something, but my usual facade held me back. "Yeah, yeah. I get it. You want me to pass so you can brag about it." I tried to play it off nonchalantly, masking how touched I was by his concern. “Brag about it?” May asked me rhetorically. I shrugged nonchalantly, trying to act indifferent, "Yeah, you know. So, you can brag about how you managed to turn the class screw up into a decent student.” I said, my smirk widening as I continued to watch him, studying his expressions.

“You think this is what this is about?” May asked softly, *I chuckled, my usual smirk resurfacing, "Well, isn't it? You're the smart one, the student council president. You've got a reputation to maintain, right?" I said sarcastically, still trying to hide how Mays constant concern for me was affecting me. May shot me a cold glare but there was a hint of sadness in his face, “After all these months together you still think I’m selfish?”

My smirk faltered, a hint of something raw flickering in my eyes. I knew deep down that May was anything but selfish, but it was easier for me to hide behind a wall of sarcasm and indifference. "You're not selfish, I know that. But don't act like you're doing this out of the kindness of your heart. You're just worried about the school's reputation or something." I said defensively, my walls starting to crack ever so slightly.

 “I’m doing this so that you don’t get kicked out the school” May told me seriously, my expression softened again, my heart panging in my chest. "...Yeah, I know that. But don't you have more important things to worry about than me?" I continued to challenge, but my tone lacked its usual bravado. There was a hint of vulnerability in my expression, as if I secretly wanted reassurance that he cared beyond academics. “If you get kicked out…I’ll lose my only friend…” May said with a hint of hesitancy, purposefully not looking at my face.

My heart skipped a beat, my mind reeling at his heartfelt confession. It was the first time he had referred to me as a friend so unabashedly, and it sent a wave of emotions through me. "...Wait, you consider me your friend?” I asked, a subtle hint of surprise in my voice. I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying 'only?'. The thought of him having no other friends bothered me more than I cared to admit. “Are we not friends?” I looked at him, my usual smirk nowhere in sight. I fidgeted slightly, my usual confidence wavering. "...Yeah, we're friends. I just...never heard you say it so openly before." My heart fluttered slightly at the word 'friends'. I would never admit it but having him acknowledge their friendship aloud like that made me feel oddly warm inside. “I haven’t…” May muttered.

My expression softened further, my eyes locked onto his. Mays words had struck a chord within me, and I felt flustered at the realization that I truly valued their friendship. "...No, you haven't." I confirmed quietly. I was still struggling to process the wave of emotions rushing through me upon hearing his heartfelt words. I felt...special. Someone actually cared enough to consider me a friend, and that fact meant more to me than I cared to admit.

“Well I don’t want you to be kicked out so I’m going to get your grades up!” May exclaimed out loud. My heart thumped in my chest as I heard his firm declaration. Mays sincerity and determination was endearing, and I found myself unable to stop the corner of my lips tugging into a small but genuine smile. "Damn, you're really set on this, huh? Fine, fine. I'll try not to disappoint you, May-san." I teased, unable to mask the hint of affection in my voice. I was actually touched by his determination to help me, but I would rather die than let him know that.

The day of the mid-term exams had finally arrived, and I found himself surprisingly feeling a little nervous. Normally I would have just winged it and not given two shits about anything, but this time around, I actually wanted to do well. I didn't want to disappoint May after all his hard work.  

As the papers for handed out I stared at it, feeling a mix of determination and nervousness. For once in my life, I actually cared about doing well on an exam. I read through the questions, and surprisingly, the information May had helped me study with actually came to me pretty easily. I found myself answering the questions with relative confidence, my focus completely on the exam for once. As the exam ended I passed back my exam paper to the teacher. The days counting to our scores I started to worry, May-san, I won’t disappoint you.

It was time to get our scores we stood outside the notice board looking at our placements. “Hello, Rei-kun” May stood next to me as he went to look at his placement as well. I stood beside him; my hands stuffed in my pockets as I scanned the list of names on the notice board. I was trying to play it cool, as usual, but I was secretly anxious about my score,"Yo." I said, my voice betraying the tiniest hint of nervousness. I glanced over at him, trying to gauge his expression. “Looking for how you did huh?” May asked me. I rolled my eyes slightly, trying to keep up my usual facade of nonchalance, "Pssh, yeah right. I don't care how I did. I'm sure I aced it." I scoffed, my gaze flitting down to the list again. I was lying. I cared way more about the score than I would let on.

May was the first for the 3rd years obviously. My eyebrow rose slightly as I looked at the scores. No surprise that May was at the top, he was the damn council president after all.  "No surprise there, class prez." I said teasingly, a smirk tugging at my lips as I looked at his name at the top of the list. “Well, that’s a given, be more concerned by your own placement,”

I looked and I was shocked when I saw that I was number 14th in the second years. My eyes widened as I saw my position on the list. I actually did...decently well. It was higher than I had expected, and I had to admit, I felt a small sense of relief. "...Huh. Not bad, I guess.” I said, trying to sound indifferent as usual. But the slight hint of satisfaction in my eyes betrayed me. Being in the top 15 in the second year was no small feat, and I was silently glad that I didn't disappoint May.

“Hm, I see, I knew you’d do good I was your tutor after all,” May looked nonchalant but really, I was super relieved and even happy. “Going from bottom to top 15…you amaze me,” I felt a slight flutter in my chest at his words, but I quickly tried to push those feelings aside.  "...Tch. Don't act so impressed. I'm just naturally smart." I said, trying to sound casual. But secretly, I was feeling incredibly pleased by your praise, and I was silently preening at his words.

May gave him a genuine smile, “I’m proud of you, Rei Sakuma hehe,” My eyes widened slightly at the sight of his genuine smile, my heart thumped in my chest. I was caught off guard by Mays sincerity and the way he referred to me by my full name, "Pfft, don't be ridiculous. It's no big deal." I said, trying to hide how flustered I was. But I couldn't deny the way my heart fluttered at his praise, and I found myself secretly loving the sound of my name in his mouth.

I stiffened as Tenshi suddenly appeared behind us, ruffling both of their hair in a playful manner. I tried to maintain his aloof facade, but a hint of annoyance flickered across my face at the unwanted touch, "Sensei, what the hell!" I said, irritation evident in my voice as I swatted the teacher's hand away from my head. Tenshi just laughed at the reaction, clearly amused by my grumpy demeanour. "you two did good! especially you Rei-chan!" Tenshi said playfully, his hand reaching out to ruffle my hair again. “Oi stop it!” I protested but May just chuckled at me.

Tenshi just laughed again, finding the whole exchange amusing. He seemed to take a particular joy in getting under my skin, "Oh come on, Rei-chan! Loosen up a little!" Tenshi teased, ruffling my hair again just to mess with me further. My scowl deepened as Tenshi continued to playfully tease me. I was becoming more and more irritated by the second, "I said stop! You're annoying as hell." I growled through gritted teeth, my hands clenching into fists in embarrassment, I hated being treated like a child, especially in front of May.

“Come on sensei, you should focus on praising Rei-kuns success,” Tenshi chuckled and put his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll stop teasing. Congratulations on your improved scores, Rei-chan. You did well. And of course, no surprise there that you're still at the top, May-chan." Tenshi said, finally dropping the teasing tone and giving Rei a genuine compliment. Despite my earlier annoyance, I felt a small sense of pride and satisfaction at the teacher's words, and I nodded stiffly in acknowledgement. I felt my face heat up from what? Love? Joy? Embarrassment? I’m not sure but I felt fluttering in my stomach upon this.

“Awe Rei are you blushing?” May looked over at me and teased. My eyes widened at Mays question, and my cheeks immediately reddened. I quickly tried to cover up my flustered expression with a scowl. "Wh-What!? Hell no, I'm not blushing!" I protested, my voice a little higher pitched than usual. My attempt at nonchalance failed miserably as the rosy tint on my cheeks deepened. “Hehe you so are,” May said with a sly smirk, “yeah you definitely are,” Tenshi added on. The both of them started to laugh at this.

The sound of their combined laughter only made my face burn even hotter. Feeling embarrassed and outnumbered, I scowled and folded my arms across my chest, "Hey, stop laughing, damn it!" I said irritably, trying to sound stern but failing to hide the hint of embarrassment in my voice. Despite all of this I still felt happy, happy that it seemed my life was turning around.

Chapter Text

May was coming to an end, and June was starting again when the sports festival was happening, a yearly festival where schools will compete amongst themselves and play sports together. The sports festivals was something everyone looked forward to, including Rei. He wasn't particularly athletic, but he enjoyed any opportunity to compete and show off. As the event approached, he found himself getting competitive and eager to win. Each year had a colour ribbon assigned to their classes. Red for 3rd years, blue for 2nd years and white for 1st years, as the 3rd year I wore my red ribbon on my hair as a ribbon while Rei with a blue ribbon tied it around his head as a bandanna.

Rei looked pretty damn good with the blue ribbon tied around his head like a bandanna, giving him a rugged and edgy look. As he walked through the school grounds, he received quite a few admiring glances from the girls (and even some of the boys) who passed by him. I on the other hand was holding a clipboard as I checked up to see if the event is going well. Rei spotted me nearby, clipboard in hand as I checked on the progress of the festival. He couldn't help but smirk, amused by the serious expression on my face, "Look at you May-san, all official and serious looking."He teased, walking up to me with his hands in his pockets. I looked up at him as I had my calm and aloof expression on, “Rei-Kun, good morning,” Rei's smile widening as he looked me over, "Morning, May-san. Working hard as usual, I see." He said teasingly, his eyes taking in the sight of me holding the clipboard.

“Of course, it’s the sports festival I have to make sure it goes smoothly,” of course that was a fact, I had to make sure the event was running smoothly. Rei chuckled at my matter-of-fact response, finding it slightly charming that I took my duties so seriously, "I should have known. You're so damn responsible, it's kinda admirable." He said with a hint of a smirk, his eyes still roving over me and my clipboard. “Well, whatever, did you sign up for any games Rei-Kun?” I was curious, I wanted to know if he was going to participate. Rei shrugged nonchalantly, his smirk widening as he folded his arms across his chest.  "Of course I signed up. You know me, I'm not gonna pass up the chance to kick some ass and show off." He said, his competitiveness and ego showing through his words. He was looking forward to the games and was itching to prove himself.

 "So, what about you? You gonna participate too or are you just gonna be stuck behind the scenes monitoring everything?" Rei asked me teasingly, his gaze roaming over you and the clipboard in your hands. “Well, it’s my last festival before graduating so of course I’m attending,” Rei's eyes lit up at my words, his interest piqued. "Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot you're gonna be graduating soon." He said with a tinge of wistfulness in his voice. He tried to act nonchalant, but I knew that the reminder that you would be leaving soon suddenly struck him harder than he had expected. I sighed, “don’t worry, I still have a whole year to go before my graduation, in any case I’ll be competing in the relay race,” Rei raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips as he looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes,  "The relay race, huh? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, you're fast on your feet." Rei chuckled out loud after saying that.

“Make sure to cheer for me, okay?” May chuckled at me softly, Rei rolled his eyes, pretending to be uninterested, but deep down he was already planning on cheering me on as loudly as possible, "Yeah, yeah. I'll be there cheering you on, loud and proud. Just don't trip and fall, okay?" He said with a smirk, secretly looking forward to watching me compete. Then, Reis friends called out for him, “ah, well I’ll see you around May-san!” I nodded as I ended up running towards my Tenshi-sensei.

Tenshi was overseeing the preparations for the sports festival; his mind focused on making sure everything was running smoothly. As I approached him, clutching a clipboard, he turned to face me with a smile, "Ah, there you are. I was wondering when you'd show up." Tenshi said to me as he turned to look at me, “Hello sensei! Did you sign up for any of the teacher events,” Tenshi chuckled, clearly amused by my question,"Me? Participate in the sports festival? Not likely. I'm not much of a sporting person." He said with a smile. "Why do you ask? Are you hoping to see me in action?"

“Hmm maybe~” I said with a sly smile and a teasing look, Tenshi was so cool and loving. Tenshi laughed, "Heh, I'll keep that in mind. Maybe I'll surprise you and lace up my sneakers." He paused for a moment, his smile softening. "So, are you participating in any events yourself?" I seemed excited when he said that excited to tell him I’m participating, “Only the relay race, I wasn’t planning on participating but it’s my last year of high-school I should make the most of it,” Tenshi smiled, nodding his head in agreement, "That's the spirit! You should make the most of it. It's your last year, so give it your all."Tenshi placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, his eyes gleaming with approval. "I'll definitely be cheering you on from the sidelines. You'll do great."

My eyes lit up at this, “you will?” Tenshi nodded, his smile warm and sincere, "Of course. I'll be there to watch and support you. You can count on me." He paused for a moment, then added with a tease, "If you do well, I'll even clap extra loud just for you." “Yay!” I jumped up almost, Tenshi couldn't help but laugh at my enthusiasm. Tenshi loved seeing me so excited, the way my eyes sparkled with anticipation, He patted your head affectionately, "Don't get too ahead of yourself. You have to actually win first, you know." I looked up at Tenshi with wide eyes, “Of course I’ll win,” Tenshi smiled at me, “I know you will,”

It was now time for the relay race, and I was the anchor, so I was standing at the very end. The sports festival had begun, the noise of cheers and applause echoing through the school field. As the relay race got underway, I was the final member of your team, the anchor. This was it. This was my chance to make an impact. Tenshi was among the spectators; I could feel his eyes fixed on you as he watched my every movement.

As the horn shot up the runners started to run. Eventually came my, I took the baton, and I started to run as fast as I could. I admit I wasn’t the most athletic nor was I the best runner, but I could move fast. I could hear Tenshi's voice among the cheers and shouts of the spectators. "You can do it!" With a smile, I ran faster, my eyes fixed on the finish line. I could feel Tenshi's eyes on me, his voice a faint encouragement among the din of the crowd.

As I crossed the finished line my team had ended up winning. The cheers from the crowd grew louder. Me and your team had won the relay race! Tenshi's voice rang out above the rest, his shout unmistakable."Yes! Great job!" He made his way over to me, his eyes shining with pride and joy. "I knew you could do it. You were fantastic out there." My team was celebrating my win, high-fiving and smiling as they patted each other on the back. Tenshi couldn't help but chuckle at my enthusiasm, his eyes gleaming with approval. "You were amazing out there. I'm proud of you." He patted my head, ruffling my hair affectionately.

“I told you I’d win!” I shouted out as Tenshi handed me a water bottle. Tenshi laughed, the sound low and warm, "Yeah you did say you would" He playfully rolled his eyes, shaking his head."But you know what? I like it. Confidence is a good thing, especially in sports." He stepped closer, and flicked my forehead, "Just don't let it get to your head, okay?" I let out a small ‘ow’ as I held onto my forehead, “yes yes sensei,”

Rei watched from a distance as I approached Tenshi-sensei and engaged him in a conversation. He couldn't hear what we were saying, but he could see the way I smiled and chatted with the teacher. Jealousy flared inside Rei's chest, but he tried to push it down. I noticed Reis scowls and glared; he folded his arms and leaned against the wall; his eyes still fixed on me and the teacher. He was trying to maintain a casual demeanor, but his expression was more guarded, the jealousy written all over his face.

Rei wandered off from the main area, feeling strangely restless. He needed some air, a chance to clear his head. As he wandered the school grounds, he found himself walking away from the crowd, in search of some solitude. He eventually found himself in a quiet corner, tucked away behind a cluster of trees and bushes. He leaned against one of the trees, his thoughts a chaotic mess. The conflicting feelings of pride, worry, and jealousy were swirling around in his mind. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Though of course I noticed that he slipped away, and I got curious as to where he was going.

Rei was deep in thought when he heard my footsteps coming closer to where he was. He opened his eyes and turned around to see me making my way towards him, my eyes immediately locking onto his. He tried to force a casual smile as he saw me approaching, attempting to mask the complex mix of emotions he was feeling."May-san. What are you doing out here?" He asked, his voice sounding a little strained. “Rei-Kun? Shouldn’t you be with your class?” I asked him out of curiously but I could also see something troubled him, so my tone was also rather sincere.

Rei shrugged, avoiding eye contact as he looked off to the side,"Eh, I needed some air. Plus, my class can manage without me for a while." He said, trying to sound nonchalant. He didn't want to reveal how uneasy me running towards Tenshi had made him feel. He folded his arms protectively and turned his gaze back to me. I walked closer as I leaned against the wall, not looking at Rei instead looking straight, “so then did I do good?” Rei glanced over at me as I leaned against the tree next to him. He couldn't help but notice my eager expression and the way my hair was slightly disheveled from the race. "Yeah, you did good. I mean, it was kind of a given, wasn't it? You're class prez, after all. The best damn student in the school. You were always going to win." He said, his voice still a little strained.

I rested my eyes as I let out a hum, I knew Rei was irritated about something and I feel like I know what it was. I could sense the subtle tension between them, like a strained thread ready to snap. Rei knew I was smart; it was one of the things he admired about me. There was no way I was oblivious to his irritation, and yet I wasn’t calling him out on it either.

 “Rei-Kun, do you feel heartbroken by me?” I’m unsure where the question came from or why I asked but I felt as though I needed to ask. I finally looked up at him as I asked him.

Rei's jaw tensed, and he was silent for several moments. The question was like a dagger to the heart, and he didn't know how to answer. Yes, he was heartbroken, but he wasn't going to admit it. "... No. I do not". He said quietly, his voice hard and almost emotionless. Even to himself, the lie sounded hollow, but he refused to let me see the turmoil he was in. Of course I saw through the bold-faced lie, “Hm, you’re an idiot you know?”

Rei scoffed at my blunt assessment, his expression hardening. He hated that I could see right through him, it was annoying as hell and yet simultaneously extremely endearing, "I'm no idiot. I just know that nothing good will come of this."he said, his voice still cold and dismissive. Deep down, he knew I was right, but he was too stubborn to admit it. He could feel the ache of his feelings in his chest, but he was fighting like hell to keep them buried.

“You have too much false hope and delusion,” I asked Rei's eyebrows furrowed in irritation at my words. He hated that I was calling him out on his own delusions and insecurities, and yet there was a small part of him that knew I was right. "Shut up. You have no idea what you're talking about." He snapped, his voice growing more and more agitated, as though he was trying to hide his emotional vulnerability behind a wall of anger and bravado.

“Rei-Kun,” I cupped his cheeks as I gave a real smile, “For me, you should live your life, a life that includes me of course but still a life,” Rei's heart skipped a beat as he felt my hands on his cheeks. I thought he was going to push me away, tell me to stop this, that this was a bad idea. But instead, Rei found himself frozen in place, unable to move his body to do anything other than stare into my eyes. "You don't understand... I can't. Not when it comes to you..." He protested, his voice a hoarse whisper.

Of course, I knew what he meant, I knew damn well for Rei’s affection for me, the affection that contributed to grow and grow. Rei was well aware of my affection for Tenshi, so I couldn’t understand him, understand why he still liked me, he should just stop, I couldn’t understand why he even still entertained me when it’s going nowhere, but most of all, I couldn’t understand why I wanted to hold him close, why I didn’t want him to go, why I can’t seem to push him away, why I came to find him, why I didn’t want to stop holding him. Rei, I’m never letting you to let go of me, to forget about me, you have to continue to be in love with me.

Rei looked down and he had a troubled expression. He didn’t seem to be taking the conversation well; I removed my hands from his cheeks as I looked up at him forlorn expression. I don’t know what possessed me, but I started to tickle his side gently. Rei's eyes widened as he felt my fingers tickle his side. The sudden sensation caught him by surprise, and he couldn't suppress the involuntary giggle it caused. He tried to act annoyed, but he was actually enjoying the feeling. Damn it, why did you have to be so damn cute? His heart thumped louder in his chest as I continued to tickle him. “Stop being so sulky,” I said as I kept tickling him.

Rei couldn't help but let out a small laugh, still trying to keep up his usual grumpy demeanor. "Shut up. It's not sulky, I'm just... annoyed." He muttered, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly. Well damn me for making him feel so off-balance. He tried to regain his composure, folding his arms and scowling at me. Eventually I stopped as I let out a little chuckle, “Come on the 400-meter race for the 2nd years is starting, you're competing in that aren’t you?” Rei's expression lightened slightly at the mention of the race. He nodded, his competitive spirit kicking in. "Yeah, I'm in the race. I'm gonna beat all the rest of the nerds and win this damn race and make you eat your words." Rei said, his voice full of confident arrogance, as though the victory were already written in the stars.

“I’ll make sure to cheer for you, Rei-Kun,” I smiled as I looked up at him. Rei's cheeks burned hotter at my words. His heart thudding faster at the thought of me cheering for him. He tried to cover up his emotions with a dismissive smile. "Sure, sure. You just watch; I'm going to finish first. You'll be eating your damn words afterward." He said, his voice still cocky and confident.

As it was time for the race Rei stood at the starting line and I stood at the sides with my class. Rei was feeling a rush of adrenaline as he stood at the finish line, his body tense and ready. He glanced around at the other racers, sizing them up and mentally calculating his chances of victory. He was determined to win this race and make me eat your words. He closed his eyes and took a moment to collect his thoughts, trying to focus on the event instead of the damn confusing mess going on in his heart. When the bell rang and the race began, Rei was in his element. He gave it everything he had, pushing himself to the limit as he ran at full speed.

 Rei was in his zone; his focus completely locked onto the race in front of him. He pushed himself harder and harder, his breaths coming in ragged gasps as he ran full tilt down the track. He couldn't think of anything else in that moment, just the finish line and the feeling of accomplishment when he crossed it first. “You can do it!” He could vaguely hear me cheering for him, my voice a soft background noise amongst the sound of his pounding heart. Damn, he wanted to win for me.

Then for a brief moment me and Reis eyes met. Rei felt a shiver go down his spine as our eyes locked with his for that brief moment. Even though he was supposed to be focused on the race, that momentary eye contact had a strong effect on him and he felt his heart skip a beat. For a split second, he forgot about every other thought in his mind, and he just looked at me, I could see his expression, a mix of determination and something almost like vulnerability. There was a light that shot up in both our eyes, as it seemed like the whole world had stopped, like we were the only ones alive right now. The world was blurry, and I made sure to focus on him.

I looked at him as I shouted out, “Rei-Kun, you can do it,” I cuffed my hand around my mouth to amplify the voice faster.

Rei felt a surge of determination and strength as he heard my words. Even though they were just a simple encouragement, it had a huge effect on him. Without even thinking, he returned the eye contact as he ran, a small grin on his face. He was going to win.

Rei felt a rush of triumph as he crossed the finish line first, the crowd cheering loudly behind him. He let out a loud whistle, a satisfied smile on his face as he straightened up and turned to look at me. he had done it; he had won the race. He made his way over to where I was standing, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. He looked like someone who could do anything when he was like that, all sweat, confidence, and victory. Rei couldn't help but feel a little smug as his classmates swarmed him, patting him on the back and congratulating him on his victory. Some of the girls were even blushing as they spoke to him, their words gushing with praise and admiration for the winner. He tried to act calm and collected, but he felt this sense of satisfaction and pride in himself. It felt good to be thought of so positively by everyone else. But the one person he cared about the most, well, he was hoping that I was watching and impressed.

After a while I approached him as I went and I handed him a cold-water bottle. Not saying anything with a semi-blank expression. Rei was caught off guard by my gesture, my simple act of kindness making his heart flutter. He took the water bottle with a grateful look, his fingers briefly touching mine as he took it. He unscrewed the cap and took a long swig of the cool water, "Thanks..." Rei muttered, his voice slightly hoarse. He tried to look aloof and unaffected, but damn, he was feeling an array of complex emotions inside.

“You did well,” I told him as I gave him a soft smile. Rei felt his cheeks heat up slightly at my words. Even though he had acted tough and unbothered on the outside, hearing my praise him made him feel warm inside. He tried to act nonchalant, shrugging slightly. "It was nothing, just a race. I was in my element" Rei said, still trying to hide the fact that he was secretly thrilled by my praise and approval.

“Hehe,” I gave a cute chuckle as I looked over at him. Rei looked up at me with a vindicated smile, his eyes closed as his grin showed off his canine smile.

Rei Sakuma, how will I ever let you go?

Chapter Text

After the sports festival came the serious work, the thing holding everyone back, the student council elections. Even though teachers can't intervene, but I could still watch from the sides and observe what’s happening. A point in time when students will run for council and the masses can vote for their preferred candidate, since middle school May has won every election, and it was an easy thing for him. It’s a simple strategy to win frankly.

One builds a reputation, make people fall in love with you, make them look up to you, aspire you.

Two, have a reliable team, other council members that people saw favourably.

finally, three, threaten, subtly make competition feel inferior and throw them off their game.

 After spending a lot of time with May and observing him these were the things about him, I noticed. May having been winning the elections for multiple years without a single lose, it is a given he would win. He always looks so calm, collected and cheerful, like nothing bothered him, but we both knew that was a lie. I knew May well and could see the subtle signs of his nervousness. Despite his outward demeanor of happiness and cheerfulness, I was aware of how jittery inside May truly felt. I could see the way his hands fidgeted slightly, the way his smile sometimes wavered for a moment before returning to its usual wide grin. I knew that he was putting on a front, trying to appear confident and nonchalant about the election.

May was talking to Izumi Haruka, the vice-president. Izumi Haruka had always been a cheerful and sociable person, someone who could easily get along with others. May had chosen him to be his vice president because of those qualities. Haruka was easy to direct, easy to manipulate. He had a friendly and likeable personality, and he was always ready to go along with Mays ideas. May was talking to him now, his smile warm and friendly as they discussed the Student Council’s upcoming activities.

Eventually May noticed me eyeing him and Haruka as he smiled and waved at me, “sensei! Over here!” I smiled gently as I approached them, “hello, May, Izumi-Kun,” Haruka smiled politely, “hello, sensei,” I smiled at them, “how is election prep going? Is it stressful? I don’t think so, may you look overly confident,” May chuckled, “Of course I am, I’ll win this year like I do every year,”

Haruka then waved us off, “well I would love I stay and chat, but I have club activities, catch you two later!” Haruka grinned and waved us a bye before leaving. “so, now its just us huh sensei,” May gave a sly grin as I win and I flicked his forehead, “don’t think of anything you shouldn’t be May Sakurajima,” I said as May let out a little ‘ow’ and held his forehead, “well whatever, these days I have been too busy to even think about you sensei, being a third year and doing council preparations are hard, juggling school and maintaining my perfect record, though even then I’m sure I’d win…I have to, I can’t lose,’  May said but I noticed the subtle shift and quietness in his tone around the end. I approached May as I ruffled his hair, “I know you will win, your talented you know? Though, you never know you might get a little surprise,”

“Well, I am prepared for that, I was just going to go check out the other campaigns, “Sensei come look at it with me!” May asked me. I chuckled, shaking my head once more. I loved his enthusiasm."Sure, I'll go with you. Might as well see what the other candidates are up to."I said, a wide smile on my face as I fell into step beside May. I was looking forward to seeing his reaction to the opposition's campaigns. We walked up to one of the opposition booths, Mays eyes scanning over the slogans and goals that were listed on their display. The candidates had certainly put effort into their campaigns. They had well-designed banners, catchy slogans, and detailed plans for the school's future. I observed his expression, my eyes watching Mays reaction as he took in their proposals.

 "So, what do you think?" I asked, his voice soft and low. “This one will be easy to crush…their goals are arbitrary and won’t work in the long run, students can easily see through that bullshit, not to mention, the guy running for president isn’t a confident speaker,” May didn’t have any expression in his face, a monotoned and cold look as he observed the candidates. May was always so hyper and energetic it was a side I have never seen, “scary…” I thought to myself as I looked over at May. I nodded, impressed by his quick analysis. "You have a keen eye for detail. You're right, their goals are indeed a bit too grandiose and lack practicality."

As May kept looking one candidate stuck out to him, A girl, from the second year, she seemed actually rather competent. I glanced over at the girl, Mays eyes scanning her with a critical eye. "Ah, you've found a candidate who's actually competent, I see." I said with a small smile. My gaze flicked back to May, watching his scowling expression as he looked at the girl. “Shes okay I suppose,” May said with clear malice in his voice.

I chuckled, amused by his expression. It was clear that she had drawn Mays attention. "What do you think of her?" May asked, "She seems like she's got her stuff together. She's not making any grand, empty promises. She's thinking about the future of the school in practical terms. She's probably the most competent candidate so far, right?  She's quite different from the others, isn't she? She seems to have put some thought into her campaign." May glared at me, “why are you praising her?” A sweat dropped rolled down my face as May said that, he was rather intimidating right now. “Well, I meant it more as listing her good qualities.”

May rolled his eyes at me, May looked at the name of the student, Rika Hayashi, may let out a scoff, “oh her,” I looked at him curiously, “you know her?” May crossed his arms over his chest, “she’s in the same class as Rei and let’s just say I don’t particularly like her,” May saying he didn’t like someone was rather new. If May didn’t like anyone, he’d just pretend like they aren’t real but, in this instance, he’s proclaiming his hatred for her, I wonder what happened between them. Whatever it was, I could see the jealousy in Mays eyes as he finally spoke up “I have to win, this is my last year, I can’t lose,”

My expression softened, my eyes gleaming with understanding. "I know. I know that this election is important to you. But try not to let your emotions get in the way. It's important to remain calm and focused." I paused, his voice quieter as I spoke. "You're a talented and capable Student Council president. You've won every election so far, but that doesn't mean this one is a guarantee. Anyways why do you win so bad? you’ve won every year before,” I asked curiously. “Why do I want to win?” May asked me back rhetorically, I nodded, my smile still firm."Yeah, why do you want to win so badly? You've won all the others, right? Why can't you just let the other students have their chance?" I chuckled, clearly teasing May.

"Or is it that you just can't bear to have your perfect record broken? You don't want to lose, right?" May was silent for a bit before speaking up, “Shuchin Academy is home to the top of the top of Japan, simply put its good connections for in the future when I’m working and I need to rely on others. By being president I’m automatically someone every student will know and with my pre-existing popularity naturally it makes me the top of the hierarchy,”

I nodded, impressed by Mays thought process. "I see. You're thinking ahead. You're looking at the long game, aren't you? Winning the Student Council elections is more than just a title for you. It's about making connections, establishing a reputation. It's about securing your place at the top of the social hierarchy." I smiled, clearly enjoying the conversation. "You're a smart kid. It's no wonder you keep winning these elections. You know what you're doing." May clenched his fists, “…I have to be perfect, a perfect track record, I can’t have a single blemish or flaw, losing one election after years of straight wins would be a failure. Not to mention, I’ve never lost, never have never will…I can’t let my father think I’m a failure…” he said the last part a little quieter.

I nodded, studying Maysexpression. I could see the determination etched on his face. "You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Perfection is a rare thing, you know. Even the most successful people make mistakes. You're human, not a machine. It's okay to not be perfect." I paused, tilting my head towards May. "But I can see you're not the type to listen to that, are you? You're too stubborn for that. You're set on winning this election, no matter the cost, aren't you?”

May finally looked up and he put on his happy go lucky façade again, as he gave me a wide teasing grin and pointed at me, “Yes! and you better vote for me sensei!” I chuckled, my smile warm and genuine. "Don't you worry about that. I'll be casting my vote for you, no one else." I ruffled Mays hair as I spoke, a playful glint in my eyes."You've got this, I have faith in you. Just don't push yourself too hard, okay? Remember, it's okay to make mistakes." I paused, my expression becoming more serious. "You have a lot of talent and potential. Use it wisely."

As the days passed leading up to election day I noticed Mays demeanour, it was subtle but it worked. Quietly belittling the fellow candidates, spreading rumours, using fear mongering tactics. It was all backhanded and it was technically not against the rules. May made sure it was still within the rules so the teachers couldn’t really do anything. Most of all I was surprised hat his Vice-President Izumi Haruka would go along with it and go along with his charades. May claims they aren’t friends but with the way they act together they are definitely partners in crime.

Then it was polling day, and May was with me going to check the results. The other candidates were gathered nearby, their faces a mix of hope and apprehension. May and I walked up to the voting boxes, our eyes scanning over them intently. I could feel the weight of the moment, the anticipation of seeing who would be declared the new Student Council President. “Sensei! Do you think I won!” May asked me with excitement but there was still worry in his eyes, I smiled at him, my eyes gleaming with pride and confidence. "I think you did great, May-chan. I suspect your chances of victory are high. I have no doubt that the students will vote for you." A few of the other candidates were listening in on our conversation, and I could see the envy in their eyes. They knew May was a force to be reckoned with.

We went to the notice board, and I saw rika and the other candidates there, I looked, and I saw I naturally won and by a landslide. Rika and the other candidates all looked shocked, their faces a mix of surprise and disappointment. Of course, they had hoped to win but May had completely blown them out of the water with his charisma and confidence.  The other students were talking among themselves, their voices hushed, and their expressions impressed. They had voted for me, and it had made a difference.

“See sensei, nothing to worry about I always win,” May said, though I knew how worried he was. I can see the weight being removed off Mays shoulders as he won the student council elections. I smiled, patting his back in a comforting gesture. "I told you you would do great, May. Your confidence and charisma were irresistible. The students really liked you, and it shows in those results." May looked at me with a smile, but I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I feel like May didn’t truly earn it, that he went about the elections in all the wrong ways.

Why would Haruka spend all his time with May, he seems like the complete opposite to him, I decided to approach him. “Izumi-Kun may I talk to you about something?” Haruka stopped and turned to face me. "Sure. What's up?" I looked at Haruka, "I called you out here to ask you something... It's about your position as Vice President, you're quite aware of how your President is... difficult." Haruka looked up at me and gave a wide smile, “what about it sensei?”

I raised an eyebrow, noticing the curt tone of Haruka's response."Well, that's exactly what I was wondering. Why did you choose to be his Vice President? You know how he is. It must be pretty difficult working under someone as… challenging as him, to put it lightly." Haruka shook his head at my response, “don’t talk badly about my president sensei,” Haruka still said with a pep in his voice as his octave kept changing per word. I held up his hand in a placating gesture. "I apologize; my intention wasn't to speak negatively about your president. I'm simply curious to understand why you, as someone who seems reasonable, level-headed, and overly cheerful to choose to be his Vice President despite the challenges that come with it." I leaned back against the wall, eyeing Haruka curiously.

Haruka smiled as he shrugged and looked at me, “Frankly it was good perks, after all I do his bidding and I become vice president and get all the benefits, your either on mays side or against it,” I chuckled softly, shaking my head in understanding. "I see... So, it's all about the perks and benefits, then? You're willing to go along with his demands and do his bidding just for the sake of your own gain." I raised an eyebrow, studying Haruka's expression carefully.

Haruka shook his head and let out a loud chuckle, “It’s more than that,” Haruka said with a smile. I leaned forward slightly, intrigue piqued. "Oh? And what do you mean by that? If it's not just about the perks, then what is it that compels you to be so loyal to him?"

“When you come to get to know May you realize he’s not doing all this to be a bad person, he’s doing this to try to better improve his life, to find fish to strive towards. I remember when I first met him, he was aimless when I suggested being the president and it gave him purpose,” Haruka said with a wide grin as he closed his eyes and swirlied his finger around. I was taken aback by Haruka's words. I had assumed May was just a troublesome individual who enjoyed making others miserable, but Haruka's perspective painted a different picture entirely. "I see... So, he's not just doing all of this to cause chaos or create problems for others. He's actually trying to find a purpose and strive for something better. And you're saying that him being the president gave him that purpose?"

Haruka looked at me a little sentimentally, “Having your whole life planned for you, you need an outlet to make your own,” I nodded, understanding what Haruka was getting at. "I can see how that could be suffocating. To have every aspect of your life predetermined and planned out, with no room for choice or agency. It's no wonder he acts out in such a way." I paused for a moment, contemplating Haruka's words. "So, in a way, being the president is his escape, his way of exerting control and taking charge of his own life, even if it's in a somewhat… controversial manner."

Haruka let out a chuckle, “Sensei, you spend a lot of time with him, but you still don’t understand May, do you? He’s just a kid crying for attention, and he’s a real cute kid so you’d want to take care of him,” I was taken aback by Haruka's observations. It was true that I had spent a lot of time around May, but I had never stopped to consider the underlying motives behind his antics. "I suppose you're right. I've been so focused on his behavior and the troubles he causes that I haven't stopped to consider the reasons behind it. You're saying that he's just a kid crying for attention, that deep down, he's just looking for someone to take care of him...?" I admitted out loud.

“That’s right!” Haruka proclaimed, I ran a hand through my hair, realizing the significance of Haruka's words. "That... it makes sense, I suppose. In his own way, he's just trying to get someone to notice him, to care for him. It's just that his methods are... well, let's say they're not exactly the most conventional."

“So please be gentler to May, don’t break his heart sensei,” I nodded at Haruka, I chuckled softly, a small smile playing at the corners of my lips, "Alright, I promise I'll be gentler with him from now on. No breaking his heart, got it." I gave him one final nod as I prepared to walk off, “well thank you, Izumi-Kun, I’ll see you around,” Haruka jumped up, “ah! Alright! Bye bye sensei,”

Soon I walked away as Haruka was left alone with his thoughts. Haruka rested his eyes as he looked back at me and muttered to himself, “sensei…don’t think I haven’t noticed how close May is with you, I don’t think you understand the boy your dealing with,”

Haruka started to remember back to middle school, specially the first year of middle school when we first enrolled in Shuchin.

May Sakurajima, he was just an emotionless boy, he never showed much emotion, I don’t think that boy ever even smiles. Yet everyone adored him and his looks. “Hey May-chan!” I exclaimed as I ran up to him in my school uniform. May turned around with a glare as he scowled at me, “why are you addressing me so casually? It’s Sakurajima-San to you,” I stuck my tongue out at him as I put my hands together in a prayer position, “sorry sorry just thought we could talk,”

“Then what do you want Izumi-san?” I was a little stunned by that, “you remember my name?” May rolled his eyes, “of course we are in the same class, aren’t we?” I suppose that’s true, I just didn’t think he bothered to remember peoples' names, he didn’t seem like the kind of care, “well May-chan lets go grab some snacks!”

I don’t know what compelled me exactly, but o wanted to get close to May, break those cold walls of his. Everyone sees May as this overly chipper and playful boy, but I remember the boy that always showed a glare and never showed any expression, this May was the real May, the May that viewed humans as just pawns to be used. This was the May I viewed as my own, no one really saw him like those except those you hold extra close.

While we were in class as May was sitting at his desk and I sat across him, “ah! May-chan why don’t you run for the student council!” May looked at me with some skepticism, “student council?” I nodded my head, “of course! You have the charisma you should do it!” May looked at me mockingly and with distaste but he did end up running.

During his campaign was when the hyper and energetic May was formed. It was when May learned the power that came with a loving persona, I always assumed it was my fault that May was so fake, especially as me and May stayed close all the remaining years…though right now I’m starting to think this persona is apart of him.

Now I look out the window, in my 3rd year of highschool it’s hard to imagine I’ve knows May for 6 years, that boy seriously did change a lot, but I can’t figure out what is the true May, “May Sakurajima, who are you exactly?” I said with a smile as I sighed and continued to stare at the sky.

Chapter Text

I was sitting at the piano in the music room, my hands absentmindedly playing a soft, melancholic tune. I had come here to be alone, to escape the noise and chaos of the school and just get some peace and quiet. May focus solely on the Guitar strings. I continued to play, my fingers gliding effortlessly over strings. While I was enjoying the peaceful atmosphere someone called out for me forcing me to stop playing to look up at the door, “I figured you’d be here,” May said out loud as he got closer to me.

I glanced up at the sound of his voice and saw May standing in the doorway. I stopped strumming my guitar and looked at him for a moment, a hint of surprise in my expression. "May-san? What are you doing here?" I replied, my voice a bit softer than usual. May walked over and sat at the bench next to me, “relax, schroeder I won’t bother you,” May sat next to me as he crossed my legs and rested his hands on the seat.

I watched as he sat down beside me, taking in the elegant and graceful way he moved and sat. He noted how he placed his hands gently on the seat, his legs crossed in a dignified manner. I couldn't help but find it somewhat adorable. "So, what brings you here, huh? Skipping class or something?" I asked casually, picking up my guitar again and resuming my idle strumming. “Something like that. The people at class are all stuffy,” May said as he shrugged. I couldn't help but let out a scoff of agreement at Mays comment, my expression slightly amused. I knew exactly what he meant. The students in the class were all uptight and overly serious in my opinion. “Ha, you're damn right about that. Bunch of stuck-up, boring assholes, always acting so damn superior and proper." I muttered, shaking my head slightly in annoyance as I continued playing my guitar.

“Your guitar,” May uttered, I glanced at him for a moment as he mentioned my guitar, a hint of pride in my eyes. He knew the instrument was my prized possession, and I took good care of it, "Yeah, it's my baby. Got it customized to my liking too. Good sound, comfortable to play, and looks pretty damn cool if I do say so myself." I said with a hint of smugness, giving the guitar a quick strum to emphasize my point. “You can play a lot of instruments huh?”

 May asked me. I chuckled at his comment and nodded, a hint of pride in my expression. I knew I was quite skilled with various musical instruments, and it always felt good to be recognized for my talent. "Yeah, I've got a knack for music in general. Guitar is my favourite, but I can play a bunch of other stuff like the drums, bass, and even the piano. Music's one of the few things I'm actually pretty damn good at." May looked at me curiously, “you wanted to be in a band, right?”

My eyes lit up as May mentioned the topic of a band, the question seeming to ignite a spark of excitement within me. I nodded eagerly, the topic clearly something I had thought about a lot. "Damn right I do. Being in a band has been my dream for a long time now. Playing music with other damn good musicians, putting on shows, making our own music... it's all I want, to be honest…but…” May tilted his head as he looked at me, “but…?”

I paused for a moment, my expression faltering slightly at his questioning "but…There's always a damn but, huh? Yeah, I know the odds of making it big as a musician are damn low. The music industry's competitive as hell, and most bands don't make it past playing gigs in smokey bars, if that. my parents as well…” I admitted with a hint of resignation. “And my parents. The same ones who are always telling me to focus on more practical dreams and forget about the music bullshit. They want me to go to some fancy college and become a doctor or lawyer or some other high-class, respectable bullshit. But I just want to make music, you know?" I grumbled, a hint of frustration and disappointment in my voice.

May looked down as he spoke in a solemn tone, “at least you know what to do with your life,” I glanced over at May as I spoke, picking up on the hint of sadness in my voice. My expression softened slightly, realizing that my words held a different weight and meaning for him, “Heh, yeah, I guess I do know what I want. Even if it does feel like the whole damn world is against me sometimes." I paused for a moment, looking at him with a flicker of curiosity, "What about you? What do you want in life, huh?"

“I’ve kind of just always done what my parents wanted. I don’t really have a passion,” May said with sadness, I raised an eyebrow at his nonchalant response, a bit surprised at the casual way he spoke about just following his parents' wishes and not having a passion of his own, "Wait, seriously? You've always just done what they want, and you don't even have a damn thing you want for yourself? Like, no dream, no goal, nothing?" I asked, a hint of disbelief in my voice. The thought of someone not having any dreams of their own was almost alien to me, considering my passion for music.

May simply shook his head, “I should probably start thinking soon with me graduating and all,” he said as he looked up at me with a soft smile. I nodded in agreement, realizing the gravity of the topic. May was nearing the end of school, and it was time to start thinking about the future. The realization seemed to add extra weight to the conversation, "Yeah, you've got a point. You're going to be graduating soon, so you should start thinking about what you want to do after. No sense just floating along and letting other people make decisions for you." I said, his tone a bit softer now, a hint of understanding in my eyes.

“I wish I was you Rei-Kun you’re still a second year and you can think about what you want more but you already decided,” May admitted, I chuckled quietly at his comment, a hint of wry amusement in my expression. I knew that I had the luxury of still being in my second year and having a bit more time to figure things out. "Heh, you're giving me a bit too much credit. Yeah, I've been damn set on my goal of being in a band, but that's just me. Everyone's different. We all decide on things at our own pace." I replied, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“Hey, have you thought about playing in the cultural festival?” May said with an enthusiasm in his voice. I perked up at your mention of the cultural festival, a flicker of interest in my eyes. Playing music at an event like that had crossed my mind before, “Heh, the cultural festival, huh? Yeah, I've thought about it. It could be damn cool to play at an event like that, in front of all those people and all." I said with a small grin, the thought of performing exciting me slightly.

“Then you should do that,” I chuckled at his encouraging words, a hint of determination in my expression. May made it sound so simple, like I could just snap my fingers and make it happen. “Hmph, you make it sound so easy. As if it's just a matter of deciding to perform and then magically being up on stage." I teased with a smirk, appreciating his positive support, “Pffp hahahahaha,” May let out the cutest smile. The sound of his laughter caught me off guard, "The hell are you laughing about? I'm being serious, you better come and see me play, alright?” I told him, a hint of bewilderment laced in my tone. Why was he laughing like that, damn it. I was trying to be damn cool and suave here.

“Alright, I’ll watch you, happy?” May said, I couldn't help the small huff of satisfied triumph that escaped my lips at your agreement. I crossed my arms over my chest and gave a cocky grin, a hint of smug satisfaction in my expression. "Damn right I'm happy you're gonna be there, front and center. You damn better cheer and scream for me the loudest, too. Got it?" May smiled at me, “you got it!”

After a while May looked at my guitar as he got up, “playing an instrument huh? I would love to play the guitar, I can only play classical instruments and well traditional Japanese instruments too, though I’m not really into it much, I mostly play because my family makes me play,” May walked over as he sat in front of the piano, “you know Rei-kun, I am really good at the piano,” I huffed and leaned back in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest with a defiant expression. "The whole point of playing music is to enjoy it, damn it! You're supposed to have fun and have a damn passion for it, not just be some damn robot playing just because your parents say so. Playing music should be a damn joy, not a chore or a damn obligation."

May started to play something casual on the piano, “well I do find it relaxing,” I listened to him play…it was…beautiful. The melody was as calming and melancholic as May. I moved over and took a seat beside him, my eyes watching him intently as he continued to play. Being this close, he could see the way Mays fingers moved effortlessly over the keys, his expression relaxed and focused.

I looked up at the score sheet as I joined in May, and I played the piano with him. It was mesmerizing…eventually May spoke up, “Hehe maybe I should become a musician,” I smiled at him, “may you should,” I tried to encourage him, but May then slammed his head against the keys, “but…a full career as a classical musician,”

I cringed a little when he slammed his face against the keys in frustration, watching him with a slightly amused but slightly concerned expression, "Damn, don't be so rough with the damn piano, you'll kill it or something. And what's wrong with being a classical musician? You're damn good at it, and you clearly have a passion for it." I said, raising an eyebrow slightly, wondering why he seemed so unsure about pursuing it as a career. May looked up at me, “Isn’t that boring? I need to work as something that keeps me moving that…I find enjoyment from…something my dad would never force me to do.”

I hummed thoughtfully as he spoke, mulling over his words. I could kind of understand where they were coming from, the idea of following in his parents' footsteps and doing something May was 'supposed' to do sounding damn dull and boring. "I get where you're coming from. Doing something just because your damn parents want you to, doing something you don't enjoy…that's a shitty existence, ain't it. You want something that's truly yours, something you love doing." I grumbled, a hint of understanding in my voice.

“Career is hard Rei-Kun! Maybe I should just become a sugar baby!” May proclaimed, I snorted and shot him a flat, almost disapproving look, a hint of amusement in my eyes. The mention of becoming a damn sugar baby was almost ridiculous to me. "Heh, are you serious? A sugar baby? That's your solution? You're smart, have actual damn skills and talent, and the first thing you suggest is living off some rich dude's money? That's a damn waste, you know that, right?" I grumbled, giving him a small, playful slap on the back.

“Don’t hit me over that!” May said as he shot up and looked over at me irritated, I chuckled slightly at his complaint, giving another small, playful jab to his side, "Heh, hey, I'm just trying to smack some damn sense into you, idiot. Being a sugar baby is a stupid idea, especially for someone as talented as you. There are so many other damn careers out there for you to explore." I replied, a hint of lightheartedness in my tone as I teased him a little bit more.

May sighed as I chuckled again as I saw him sigh in defeat, clearly enjoying the fact that I managed to finally make him see reason, "you know may, your completely different with me, it’s like you’re acting all the time and damn your one damn good actor." I teased again, giving another small poke to his side. May looked at me curiously, “actor…”

I raised an eyebrow at his soft, almost wistful utterance, picking up on the hint of thoughtfulness in his voice. The idea of acting seemed to resonate with me for some reason, causing me to look at him with a slightly curious expression. "Hm? You like the sound of being an actor, huh? Does that idea appeal to you more than being a musician?" I asked, my tone a mix of curiosity and slight disbelief. I couldn't help but be a little intrigued by his sudden interest in acting.

“But to do that I’ll need to be perfect no? Or else I won’t get fans,” I snorted in amusement at my comment, shaking my head slightly at the thought of him needing to be perfect to have fans. It was kinda silly to him, that he thought people had such high standards, "Heh, you don't have to be perfect to have fans, idiot. In fact, being perfect would make you damn boring. People want interesting and charming, not perfect and boring. Stop aiming so damn high, you perfectionist. You just need to be yourself." I replied, a mix of teasing and genuine advice in my tone.

“Rei-Kun do you think I’m perfect?” May asked me curiously, I could see the intensity in his gaze as you looked at him, that serious and expectant look in his eyes as I waited for Mays response. It was like he was silently demanding an honest answer from me; I swallowed, I heart beating a little faster. Dammit, I was never good at giving genuine compliments, and here he was, forcing me to put me thoughts into words,"I…I'll be honest, you're far from perfect. “I said, his voice slightly rougher than I intended. May looked up at me with an unreadable expression.

I looked down at him, my eyes holding his gaze as I continued speaking. My heart was beating even faster now, knowing my answer would likely disappoint May."You're stubborn, hot-headed, and a damn perfectionist. You put too much pressure on yourself, you always try to be perfect and please everyone, even if it means neglecting your own needs. And you can be pretty damn infuriating sometimes." I paused, watching his expression intently to gauge his reaction. I was bracing myself for disappointment or annoyance. As expected, May had a scowl on her face, “What are you trying to say?” May asked in an annoyed expression.

I took a deep breath before responding, realizing that I might've gone a bit too far in listing his flaws. I mentally cursed at myself for being so straightforward, knowing that I might have accidentally hurt May with a blunt honesty. God damn, I was such a damn fool sometimes, "What I'm saying is, you're goddamn far from perfect, okay? You have flaws and imperfections. You're not some damn perfect, flawless creature. You're, well... human, just like the rest of us. And I don't know why the hell you're so damn obsessed with being perfect in the first place." May was looking at me with a pout and a blush.

I swallowed again, a pang of guilt and remorse flickering across my expression when I saw the little pout on my face, the hint of blush on his cheeks. Goddammit, I knew I had messed up, being too blunt and harsh and inadvertently hurting him, "Wait, wait, don't pout like that, damn it. Don't look at me with those puppy dog eyes like I hurt your feelings. I'm just being goddamn honest, you know?" I said, my voice going into a soft, almost pleading tone. God, why was I such a damn softie for his pouty face?

May furrowed his eyebrows, “Are you saying I have issues?” I winced slightly at that question, knowing that I was likely to interpret his words that way. I quickly shook my head, trying to clarify his statement before I got the wrong idea, "Damn it, no, that's not what I'm damn saying. I'm not saying you have freaking issues, alright? I'm just pointing out that you're not perfect, that's all. You're not flawless, and that's... okay, you know? It's okay to have flaws, damn it. Stop damn comparing yourself to perfection all the time."

May clearly got a little uncomfortable as he got up, “ah well I will get going Rei-kun,” "Wait, damn it, don't just go-" I cursed under my breath and instinctively reached out to grab my wrist, stopping me from walking away. I didn't want the conversation to end like this, not with you upset with him and thinking he thought you had freaking issues or something. "Hey, wait a damn second. Don't storm off like that, you idiot." I said, my grip on his wrist gentle but firm, preventing me from leaving. May looked away as he took his hand, “I have class.”

I sighed in frustration, feeling his wrist in my grip. Dammit, he was so damn stubborn sometimes, always trying to cut off conversations and run the second things got uncomfortable or difficult, "Screw your classes, we're not done talking yet." I said firmly, not willing to let him walk away until I at least tried to sort this out. I wasn't going to just let him storm off pissed at me. May took his hand away and he walked away.

Later, and it was afterschool, it was raining heavily so most students had already called a taxi or went home with their drivers, I took my umbrella as I got ready to leave but then I caught a sight. There I saw May standing at the entrance of the school eyeing the rain and looing out longingly. Usually, Mays driver would take him home however considering he is standing here I am assuming his driver won’t come over.

I walked up to him as I placed my umbrella over him. I didn’t know what compelled me to do that, but I just wanted to take care of him. The rain was heavy making it hard to see anything, "You can't go home? Your driver isn't coming to pick you up?" May looked up at me in surprise, “ah yes…don’t you need an umbrella too?”  I shrugged, “Nah, I'm used to the rain anyway. It doesn't really bother me" I said nonchalantly.

May looked up at me, his eyes wide and curious, “You can walk me home…if you want,” I was surprised by his request. I had never really been called upon to do something remotely close to being polite, especially by me before. I also found it kinda weird I felt the urge to say yes, "Sure, I'll walk you home" I answered.

The rain was still heavy as both of us started walking. There wasn't much of a conversation between the both of us. Rei just walked beside me, trying to maintain the space while also trying to keep me dry from the heavy rain. As the two of us were walking, I occasionally glanced at his face. It felt quite awkward for me. This was the first time I was ever walking with someone, especially with May. I also felt the urge to hold his hands but quickly shook off the thought. I looked up into the rain and sighed.

My side was getting slightly wet as I kept walking, I was just making sure that May was fully dry, I noticed that May was shivering a little bit, so I just wrapped my arm around him subconsciously to keep him warm. May looked up at me in surprise as we finally made eye contact. As I looked in Mays eyes I got flustered as I looked away. I was a bit embarrassed by my own actions. Why did I do that? I wasn't really the type of person to do these kinds of things. "I-..uhm... I just didn't want you to catch a cold" I said, still looking away. “Yes yes,” May said as he finally looked straight ahead.

I looked back at May, “hey…May-san” May looked up at me again, “what is it?” My eyes locked onto Mays. I was the one who usually looked at him with a frown. But now, I was looking at May with a deep gaze, "bout what I said in the music room, I didn’t mean it in a bad way, it’s just nice that even someone so outwardly perfect as you as their short comings…infact it makes you human, I think that’s why I like you a lot and like being around you" May looked at me curiously, “makes me human?”

I nodded, "yeah, seeing you so perfect all the time is annoying. But when you show your flaws, it shows that you're like everyone else. That's why I like being around you, you're human, you aren't perfect and that's the best part. I can't stand people who fake being perfect. And your real you is so beautiful" I said, still with my deep eyes gazing at him.

“Well, that’s you, people won’t like how I actually am, no one actually likes how I actually am,” May said as he shook his head. I shook my head while crossing my arms. I hated how I talked negatively about myself. "Maybe you're right but who cares? Not everyone has to like you. The people who matter, will like you for who you really are. Not a fake version of yourself that is perfect 24/7" I looked at him again, "besides, how are you really? Not the president version,”

May really thought about it as we kept walking, “Well I’m cold, I rarely have a smile on my face, I’m blunt, sarcastic, straightforward,” I smirked, “So what? You're cold and straight forward? That's not a bad thing; you shouldn't smile all the time. It'll wear your facial muscles out anyway" I then looked over my body. "Besides you act like you’re totally acting without living your truth at all, the fact is this facade you put on is still apart of you, therefore you’re not lying your still living your truth, just a different truth. You talk about your real self and your fake self both in a bad light but both selves are your truth, and you should live it,”

May looked up at me a little stunned by my words, I didn't break eye contact. I still had that smirk on his face, "And I don't mind the real you. Sure, it may be cold and blunt, but it's still you, it's still the real you. And I can't really find something wrong with it. I may be an ass but I'm not stupid, I can see that the way you act as a class president is just one side of you, it's not the main part of who you are. You are more than the polite class president" May had a soft smile on his face as he looked away from me as he looked ahead.

“Your right…I suppose I’m not all bad, and heck, I think I’d make a pretty great actor,” I looked at May with a smile as we eventually reached his mansion. Yeah, admittedly I am still not fully used to the fact that he lives in a mansion but here we are.

“so um..i will see you around?” May said as he opened the front door, I nodded and smiled, "yeah, I'll see you around" I watched him walk up to the big mansion door and disappear behind it. I then sighed and shook my head. "What the hell? Why was I complimenting him? I never compliment people. I'm a bad boy, not a nice guy. Damn it" I thought to myself.

I took one last look at the massive mansion, still shaking my head, and walked back to my own small apartment. I arrived at my apartment, took off my school coat, and collapsed on my bed, "God damn it" I said, staring up at the ceiling. My dog Yuzu ran up to me as he laid on my chest, I gave a weak smile as he wagged his tail around and was begging for my attention, I gave him a fee pets but man all I could think about was May.

“Yuzu, why did I have to fall in love with May?” I asked my dog who just tried his bed to cheer me up, I gave yuzu a smile as I kept playing with him.

Chapter Text

Ever since the talk I had with Haruka I have been hyper aware of May.As his teacher I have to have his best interests at heart. I have been paying more attention to him, taking in his quirks and his actions. Haruka words are starting to make more and more sense to me. But it’s not enough, I still don’t fully understand Mays wants and needs. He’s so secretive about everything, I really don’t know anything about him. As I prepared to leave the school amidst the pouring rain as I look out and I see Rei escorting May in the pouring rain as they went home together, it was rather cute, seeing May smile so brightly like that makes me happy too. I want to make May feel happy, feel better.

It was a week before the summer break as I entered the the student council room. I saw May sitting at the council table, diligently working on some documents. "Oh May," he called out, his voice slightly softer than usual. May looked up as his deep furrowed eyes softened and gently looked up at me, “Sensei, are those the documents I asked for? Did Haruka pass you these?”  I nodded, a faint smile still on my lips. "Yes, these are the documents, and yep, Haruka did pass them to me." I set the documents down on the council table, glancing at him as I did so.

“Thank you,” May said as he gave a small nod. I started to read the documents, I couldn't help but notice the contrast between the serious, professional side of him, and the more playful persona he displayed in class. "You know, you're a lot quieter and more focused when you're in the council room. It's a nice change from your usual antics in class." May continued his writing on his paper as he answered to me, “When it comes to work, I have to do well, it would look good for college applications,”

I nodded in understanding. "I see. So, your efforts in the student council are more of a way to enhance your college applications, then? you're planning on studying overseas and taking over your father's business, right?” May then nodded, but I could see the hesitancy in his expression. “Actually…sensei, what if I did something else…like in the creative field I don’t know…”

I raised an eyebrow, chuckling softly. "You mean... as in, something more creative, like art or music, instead of something more... practical and business-like?” I leaned back, a small smile playing at the corners of my lips. “I don’t know…what if I become an actor or something…” I was taken aback by his sudden declaration. "An actor? You mean, going into the entertainment industry, acting in movies or TV shows?" I paused for a moment, picturing him in a movie or TV show, I mean May definitely has the looks, I can see him on the big screen.

“I don’t know…it’s a stupid thing,” May said as he shook his head. I smiled softly, shaking my head. "It's not a stupid thought at all. It just caught me off guard, that's all. But let me ask you this: Why do you think of becoming an actor? Do you have a passion for performance, or is it just a passing fancy? Because, you know, the entertainment industry can be a very competitive and cutthroat place." May tilted his head to the side as he thought about the question, “I don’t know…I feel like I’d be good at it, and the thought of being an actor…makes me happy,” May admitted with a small smile.

I could see the passion and enthusiasm in his eyes as he talked about becoming an actor. "Well, if it makes you happy and you think you'd be good at it, then perhaps you should give it a shot. But first, I have one more question for you." I paused, a small smile still on my lips. "Do your parents know about your plans to become an actor?" May looked rather conflicted, “no…” he answered.

I raised an eyebrow, leaning forward slightly, I paused for a moment, studying his face, "You know, they're bound to find out eventually. And when they do, will you be prepared to face their reaction?" May finally looked up at me, his eyes filled with desperation, “I’ll tell them once I succeed, I know they won’t approve of what I do,” I nodded, a thoughtful expression on my face. “But what if they don't? What if they disapprove and try to discourage you from pursuing your dreams as an actor?" I answered with my eyes intently fixed on his.

“I…I haven’t…I can’t…” May looked down shaking a little bit as he clenched his fists. I noticed the nervous expression on his face, I took a step closer, my voice soft and soothing. "Hey, hey, it's okay. Why are you getting so worked up? It’s just a conversation." I placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him. “I can’t go against my father…” May said as he shot up to look at me, “Is it really the right choice? To be an actor?” Desperation evident in his voice.

I paused, his gaze still fixed on his face, Mays expression a mix of anxiety and doubt. "I can’t make that decision for you, you know. But let me ask you this: Do you feel a deep passion and desire for acting? Is it something that lights a fire within you, that fills you with a sense of excitement and joy whenever you think about it?" I paused for a moment, my fingers still gently resting on his shoulder. "Or is it just a mere idea, a fleeting dream?" May softened, “I…I really do think it’s the passion for me,” May seemed to light up when talking about acting.

I smiled gently, my eyes softening. "I see. You truly believe that your passion lies in acting. It's not just a casual interest or a passing fancy, but something deeply embedded in your soul." I paused for a moment, "But you’re worried about what your father will say... right?" I asked him, but I couldn’t help but add on to that.

"You care about his approval, his opinion. So much so that the thought of going against him, of choosing a path he disapproves of, causes you distress and anxiety..." I paused for a moment; my gaze still fixed on his face. I could see the conflict in Mays eyes, the struggle between his own desires and the wishes of his father. "You feel stuck, like you're trapped within a web of expectations and desires that are not your own. But tell me... why? Why does your father's approval hold such power over you?" I was curious, I wanted to figure out May.

“I…I can’t tell you,” May said hesitantly. I leaned back. I could see the hesitation in his expression, the way I avoided his gaze. "You can't tell me? Why not?” I paused for a moment, my voice growing slightly more insistent, "What's stopping you from being honest with me? Why can't you share this with me?" May opened his mouth to answer something but nothing came out, nothing but a chocked up, “Just…”

I frowned, my expression growing more serious. "Just what? You keep avoiding my questions, dancing around the subject. Why? Why can't you open up and talk to me? I'm trying to understand your situation, your motivations... but you're keeping yourself locked away." I paused for a moment, my eyes studying yours. "Why won't you tell me? What are you afraid of?" May scoffed and rolled his eyes, “I’m not AFARID of anything there just isn’t anything worth telling you,” May retorted at me.

There was a hint of silence between us and there were no words exchanged between the both of us. May eventually spoke up, “Sensei it’s late you should go home, I’ll see you around,” a clear attempt to push me away.

I clenched my jaw, frustration evident on my face. I wanted to push further, to force him to open up to me, but I also knew that it would be futile. May was determined to keep his guard up, to keep his true thoughts and feelings locked away behind a wall of denial and avoidance. I let out a deep sigh, my shoulders tensing as I stepped back from him. "Fine. Yeah, I should go home, I guess."

May looked up to look at me with pitiful eyes as he eventually looked at me with a more cold expression, “bye sensei, get home safe,” I nodded and waved, “you too,”

I have to figure out May, and there is only one person I know that can help me. It was the next day at school, and I was at the back of the school with Haruka smoking a cigarette. Haruka was leaning against a pillar, his arms crossed and an amused smile on his face. "What's with your preoccupation with May, sensei? You've been asking about him constantly. Did something happen?" Haruka asked me.

I let out a deep sigh, after I took a drag of my cigarette, "Nothing happened exactly, I just can't stop thinking about him. He's so... difficult to understand. He's smart and capable, but he's also... I don't know, contradictory. He's clearly troubled, but he never lets on how he truly feels. The more I think about it, the more frustrated I get. I just want to understand him, Izumi-Kun,”

“May is a perfectionist, he doesn’t let anyone know about his issues, about his home life, he wants to give off the perfect student vibe you know? He wants everyone to think he has an ideal life,” Haruka said as he looked at me with. Cheeky smile. I nodded, understanding now. So, that's why he was always so cheerful and confident, so good at hiding his true feelings. He was a perfectionist, a master of pretense and deception, always presenting a smile to the world. “So... he's just putting on a mask... a façade, trying to appear perfect and flawless. But deep down, he's struggling. He's hiding his home life too, huh? The things that are really troubling him." I paused for a moment, a small frown on my face.

“Frankly, I don’t know much about May either, his home life is something he keeps extra secret, and his real personality is something I doubt anyone has ever seen,” Haruka looked straight with a smile as he reminisced about May. I couldn't help but feel even more concerned now. If not, even the person who been with you for the longest knew the real you, then what kind of home life did you have that you kept so well-hidden?  "So... not even you know the real him? The real May? But why? Why does he feel the need to play this game? He has to realize that he can’t keep this up forever, you really don’t know anything about his home life?”

Haruka shrugged as he looked at me, “I don’t know, I’ve never seen his father out with May before, and his mother lives in America,” I felt a pang of worry as I processed his words. "So, not only does he hide his real personality, but he also doesn't talk about his home life. Not even a word. Have you ever tried asking him about it, just to see how he'd respond?" Haruka let out a loud chuckle as he looked at me, “Of course I have, he just scowled at me and told me to stay in my lane,”

I winced a bit, imagining the scene. "I know…May doesn’t have a good home life, him and his father don’t get alone but I don’t know much about that." I paused for a moment; his eyes still fixed on Haruka as I put out my cigarette and I threw it away.

My jaw clenched as I thought about his home life. The idea of a young and vulnerable student dealing with an unhappy home life, all on my own, was almost too much to bear. "You say his mother lives in America, and he never sees his father... I can only imagine the kind of situation he's in at home. A lonely boy, all by himself, with no one to turn to…”

 There was a moment of silence before Haruka spoke up, “You know sensei before you came into Mays life he used to have a lot of marks on his body, hickeys, bite marks, bruises, cuts, scratches,” I winced at that, the mental image in my head clearly disturbing me, making me feel a little nauseous."He... had marks on his body? Bite marks? Bruises? Cuts?” My eyes widening as I processed the extent of the abuse he had suffered. "You say he used to have all those... but now he doesn't?"

“I never probed him about it, but he did a good job hiding it. The only reason I knew about it was because sometimes when we changed, I’d see them,” Haruka answered. I let out a deep sigh, running a hand through my hair. my knuckles cracking as I clenched my fists tight. "How long ago was it that he had those marks? Was it a long time ago, or..." Haruka placed his hand on chin as he thought, “They lessened since second year of highschool, but not completely gone,”

The marks had softened, faded, but the trauma and pain he had suffered was still there, lurking just beneath the surface. "So, they've lessened but not completely faded... that means he's been dealing with it for for a while."

Haruka shrugged as he looked at me with a smile, “All I can say is…be careful with May, you should be scared of him and be scared for him…and, please help him sensei,” Haruka looked at me as his smile softened with his eyebrows, “please sensei,”

My expression softened just a bit at his words, Harukas plea for help and understanding of May hitting a soft spot within me. Maybe I was a little bit scared, considering all the things he had hinted and shared with me. But I also felt a duty to help May. "I will... I'll do my best to help him. But that's all I can promise for now." Haruka nodded, “I want to help May but I’m not sure how…he’s just a kid,” Haruka said with a hint of restraint in his voice.

I nodded in agreement, a grim expression on my face. It was true that May was just a kid, a young and vulnerable student, and it filled me with a sense of dread to think of all that the boy must have been through. "I know... he's just a kid. And he's already been through so much. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.” Haruka took a bow, “Thank you sensei,”

I nodded again, my jaw still clenched in tension. This was all so concerning, to hear about the home life of one of my students, a student who seemed so put together and perfect from the outside. "You take care of yourself, alright Izumi-Kun? And take care of May. He's going to need all the support and help he can get. He's a tough kid, but he's also just a kid. Just a lonely... troubled... kid." Haruka shot me a wide smile, “you got it sensei!”

I soon waved him bye as I walked out in deep thought, the conversation with Haruka still fresh on my mind. It was true that I didn't know much about May before I started attending the school. The more I thought about it though, the more it bothered me. I felt like there was more to the story, like there were pieces missing from the puzzle that was May. I let out a deep sigh, trying to push the thoughts and worries away as I walked back to the teacher's office where I had my own classes to teach.

Chapter Text

As summer break finally started, I was feeling free. If it wasn’t for the fact that my family came to visit from Osaka. I always avoid their visits, infact I find it troublesome, and I dislike it very much. I prefer the freedom of not having 2 people that only use me to boost their own reputation to drag me around.

Right now, we were out shopping for something I don’t even know, I only followed them because they made me. I simply wore grey sweatpants and a black hoodie because I couldn’t even be bothered to dress up. I was walking with my parents, chatting with them about something mundane. I was slightly bored, that was, until someone suddenly bumped into me, causing him to turn around, "Hey, watch where you're going-" I started to snap, but the words died on my tongue as he realized who I had bumped into. I froze for a moment, staring at May, my parents standing behind me looking curious.

“Ah sorry! I didn’t see you Rei-Kun!” May looked at me with a pleading expression, my expression softened as I realized it was May. My parents watched curiously, my father being a tall man with blonde hair and my mother having dark brown hair and blue eyes, noticing the change in my demeanor. "It's...fine. Just be more careful next time." I said, my voice slightly more gentle than usual. May was dressed casually in pants and a sweater, which is weird cause I’m used to either seeing him in his uniform or dressed up.

“Ah these must be your parents” May gave a polite bow, “Good to meet you sir and ma’am, I’m May Sakurajima,” my parents smiled warmly as he bowed, clearly charmed by his politeness, "Oh, what a well-mannered young boy! It's a pleasure to meet you, May." My mom said, "Yes, indeed. You have impeccable manners." May's father praised. They both glanced at me, silently approving of his polite introduction. I rolled my eyes at my parent's words knowing they were silently comparing me to May.

“Ah well I was just going to go so I’ll leave your family alone,” May said awkwardly, almost trying to exit the conversation. My mom and dad smiled warmly, "Oh, are you sure you must go so soon? Why don't you join us for dinner?" my mom on extended out the invitation. “Dinner?” May said with bewilderment as I looked at my mom like she was scary. My parents nodded, their smiles growing wider, "Yes, dinner! We'd love for you to join us." My dad said, looking at May hopefully, "Come on, don't be shy. It would be lovely to have you join us." My mother added on.

“Ah…eh,” May looked speechless as he looked over at me. I met his gaze, my expression unreadable for a moment before softening slightly. I knew my parents wouldn't let up until May agreed to dinner, "It's...fine. You might as well come." I said, a hint of resignation in his voice.

With that being said we all ended up going to dinner together, I was sitting next to May as my parents sat across us. I hated the fact that my parents had invited him so casually, but I also found myself oddly glad that May were there. My mom leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand as she studied May, "So, May, are you in the same class as Rei, dear?" She asked, her voice warm and friendly. My dad chimed in as well, curious about Mays relationship with his son being me, "How long have you known each other?"

May shook his head, “Ah no, I’m a year older than him, I would say we’ve been friends for almost a year,” My parents exchanged a glance at Mays response. They seemed pleased to know that we had been friends for quite some time, "A year, hmm? So, you're a senpai then." She chuckled, amused by the title, "That's interesting. And you're close friends, then?" He asked, subtly pressing for more information.

May looked up at me and smiled, “rather close friends,” I felt my heart skip a beat as May looked over at me. I nodded slightly, trying to hide my emotions. "Yeah... good friends." I replied.

They continued to chat throughout dinner, the conversation flowing easily. However, there was a subtle tension in the air, as if everyone was aware of the unspoken underlying feelings I possessed,"You know, Rei isn't usually very sociable. He doesn't bring home many friends." My mom said, her voice taking on a slight hint of pride as she looked at May. "That's right. He tends to keep to himself a lot. It's nice to see him making friends." My dad added on. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, embarrassed by my parents' words. I wasn't used to them openly discussing my lack of social skills in front of others, "Mom, dad, can you knock it off with the embarrassing talk? Damn..." I huffed, a hint of a blush creeping up my cheeks. I looked over at May who was amused listening to the conversation.

“Well excuse me, I’m going to the restroom,” I stood up quickly, grateful for an excuse to escape the conversation. I pushed back from the table and rose from my chair. I just went to the restroom to escape the bedroom to relax and get myself less irritated. As I came back, I noticed that my parents were talking to May, and I decided to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"You see, Sakurajima-Kun...about our son."My mom said, "I’m surprised someone like you would even entertain a kid like him." My dad looked at May with a contemplative expression, studying his reaction. May furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at them, “What’s that supposed to mean?” He questioned with an annoyed expression. My parents chuckled at your question, finding Mays reaction amusing, "Well, our son can be quite difficult sometimes. He's not exactly easy to get along with. a troublemaker, rude, academically challenged though recently there was improvement, he’s a rather…disappointing kid" my mother started off with, "meanwhile your perfect Sakurajima-Kun, the type of guy I wished my son would be,” my dad added on.

“Disappointed?” May questioned. At his question, my parents nodded, their expressions growing serious, "Yes, a disappointment. He doesn't live up to our expectations. Always causing trouble, failing classes, acting out." My father said, "We had such high hopes for him, but he just keeps falling short." My mother shook her head, a hint of disappointment coloring her voice. It was clear they had very specific standards for me, and I consistently fell short of meeting them.

I stood in the hall, silently listening. I could hear every word being said, my heart sinking as my parents listed off my shortcomings. It wasn't anything I hadn't heard a thousand times before but hearing it from them in front of May somehow made it even worse.

May got increasingly irritated as he shouted out, “don’t say that about Rei-Kun,” My parents looked a bit stunned by his sudden defense of me. They exchanged glances, seeming bewildered by my reaction, "W-well, it's just the truth. He's been a troublemaker and a source of disappointment for years." My mom said, "We just hold him to high standards, as any parents would." My dad said defensively, taken aback by Mays insistence.

“Rei may seem like he’s horrible but he’s actually a good kid, he’s the only guy that treats me well and he’s more of a person than you guys think, don’t call him a disappointment just cause he didn’t reach your arbitrary expectations, he’s successful and I’m sure he will have a good future. Rei, to me, is anything but a disappointment and you guys shouldn’t go running your mouth on your son,” May said all that in an attempt to defend me.

My heart skipped a beat as I listened to Mays passionate defense of me. No one had ever spoken up for me like that before and hearing him say such things about me made my chest ache in a way I couldn't explain. Meanwhile, my parents were completely stunned by Mays words. They seemed taken aback by the intensity with which he spoke, surprised that someone would openly disagree with them about their son.

I then stopped hiding and came to grab Mays wrist as my parents watched in shock as I appeared next to him, my hand grasping his firmly. "Rei, when did you-" Before she could finish, I cut in, a hint of annoyance in my voice. "Let's go, May-san,” May looked up at me in shock, “E-eh, Rei-Kun,”

My grip on his hand tightened as I led him away from my parents. I didn't say another word, my jaw clenched tightly as I navigated through the restaurant with purposeful strides. My parents watched we both go, shock etched onto their faces. They couldn't believe what they had just witnessed, struggling to wrap their heads around the unexpected turn of events. “U-um! Goodbye Mr and Mrs Sakuma!” May yelled as he followed me out. My parents could only nod in response, too stunned to form coherent words. They watched as May trailed after me, disappearing from sight.

“Rei-Kun, hold on, where are we going?” May asked, I didn't answer at first, my strides quickening as I walked with determination. I was clearly agitated, my jaw clenched tightly. Finally, I spoke, my voice sharp and curt, "Just follow me. We need to talk." Eventually May stopped following me and forced me to stop as well, “You can’t just drag me around!” My eyes flashed with surprise as he halted, forcing me to stop. I turned towards him, a mix of irritation and confusion on my face, "What? I'm just trying to take you somewhere so we can talk. Damn it, May-san" I said irritably, my hand still holding onto his.

“I don’t like getting dragged around when I don’t know where we’re going! What did you even want to talk about?” May shouted out. I sighed, leaning my head back against the wall as I looked at him. I was quiet for a moment, as if gathering my thoughts, "What you said back there..." I started, a hint of vulnerability in my voice. I paused, my gaze flicking away for a moment before meeting Mays eyes again. “I was merely saying you weren’t a disappointment…it’s not a big deal,” May said as he scoffed.

My lips quirked up into a bitter smile at Mays casual dismissal. His words may have been nonchalant, but they had struck a chord within me,"Not a big deal, huh? Bullshit. For some reason, hearing you defend me like that..." I said softly nor continuing my sentence.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I took another step closer, closing the distance between us even further. The space between May was almost non-existent now, my body towering over his.

“I figured you needed someone to defend you infront of your family,” May finally spoke up, hos voice slicing the tension in the air. My expression darkened, a mix of emotions flickering across my face. His words were true, and it both irritated and made him feel strangely vulnerable. I had never had someone stand up for me like that, and hearing him say it so casually made something within me ache, "You think I can't handle myself?" I said sharply, a hint of defensiveness in my voice. I didn't like the way he made him feel weak, and my natural reaction was to lash out.

“I’m not saying you can’t, I know what it’s like to always be told your nothing when you really try to be something, and you’re not a disappointment. Everything I said back there…I really meant it, I wouldn’t say something so dumb if I didn’t mean it,” May admitted, looking at me with his wide eyes searching my face for a reaction. My gaze softened even further as he spoke. Mays sincerity was genuine, and it made my heart ache in a way I couldn't explain. No one had ever spoke so passionately, so fiercely in defence of me. And even though I didn't want to admit it, I found himself clinging to his words, "Why? Why do you care so damn much? Why do you even see me in a positive light?”

“I never said I cared a lot, I’m just simply stating what I observed,” May said as he rolled his eyes. I clenched my jaw, his defenses rising again at his dismissive words. I hated how casually May spoke about the way he saw me. "Bullshit. You don't just state observations so fiercely if you don't care." I retorted, a hint of irritation in my voice. I took a step closer, closing the distance between us even more. May however, simply stayed quiet not saying anything else.

I gritted my teeth at his stubborn silence, frustration building within me. I wanted him to admit something, anything, but he remained infuriatingly unreadable. I took another step closer, now standing directly in front of him, "Damn it, would it kill you to be honest for once? Just say what you're really thinking." I said, my voice a low growl as I leaned in closer. May gritted his teeth, “I’m thinking about how I didn’t like what your parents were saying about you…no parent should talk about their son like that, and you deserve better than that!” May said as he finally spoke up.

My breath hitched at his words, a mixture of surprise and vulnerability flickering across my face. No one had ever expressed such anger on my behalf, and it caught me off guard. I was used to brushing off insults and dealing with my parents' disappointment on my own, but hearing May fiercely defend me filled me with a strange, unfamiliar feeling, "...Why do you care so damn much?" I asked him. May finally calmed himself and let out a sigh, “Maybe…I just know how it feels to be looked down by people that supposed to be family,”

My expression softened further, the tension in his body easing slightly at his words. Mays understanding, his empathy, it was like a balm to my wounded soul. I realized that we had a similar background, that he understood the pain of being seen as a disappointment by those who were supposed to love you unconditionally, "...Yeah... I guess you do know the feeling."

May looked down before speaking up, “though…you should go home and try to talk to your parents,” my expression faltered at his suggestion. The idea of talking to my parents, of trying to resolve the longstanding issues between them, was daunting and uncomfortable, "...You gotta be kidding. You really expect me to go back and have a heart to heart with them?" I scoffed, my defences immediately rising again. “I’m sure they owe you an apologies,” May retorted.

 My mouth twisted into a bitter smile, the thought of my parents apologizing a laughable concept to me, "Heh, an apology? From them?" I shook his head, my voice filled with a mixture of disbelief and cynicism,"You don't know them. They don't apologize. They never have, and they never will. The old man's too prideful and my damn mother's too stubborn."

May looked at me, “Hmm I’m just saying give them a chance, for me,” I gritted my teeth, torn between wanting to scoff at his naive optimism and the way May kept pulling on my heartstrings. "Damn it... You're really asking me to do this... for you?" I said, his voice a mix of resignation and a hint of reluctant vulnerability.

May finally looked up at me and smiled, “If they do apologise maybe there is something to be built, and if they don’t, tell them to fuck off and come find me,” my lips twisted into a wry smile at his words, a mix of amusement and resignation in my gaze, "You're so damn stubborn, you know that? Fine. I'll go home and talk to them. But don't you dare blame me if it ends in an argument. And if they don't apologize, you better keep that promise."

May gave me a wide smile with his eyes closed, “of course I’ll keep that promise!” I huffed, rolling my eyes at his cheerful response, "Yeah, yeah, I'll hold you to it. You better be ready to deal with my grumpy ass if it goes badly, May-san,” May rolled his eyes, “The Rei Sakuma I know just speaks his mind, so give them a piece of what you think so don’t hold back!”

I laughed softly at that, shaking my head in bemusement. It was true, I was known for being brutally honest, and holding back was never my strong suit, "Alright, I get it. I'll lay out my thoughts without holding back. But don't expect me to go easy on them." I said, the corner of my mouth lifting into a cocky smirk.

…

It was rather late before I reached home but I eventually did after dropping May off. I opened my apartment door, and I saw my parents both sitting on the couch with a worried and guilty expression. I stood in front of my parents, my hands clenched into fists. My expression was a mixture of determination and a hint of nervousness, a rare vulnerability in my usually stoic demeanor. "I need to talk to you both."

“Look...” I sighed, “I know you guys aren’t that proud of me…but I figured I should hear you out” my parents exchanged glances, a mixture of surprise and discomfort in their expressions. They had never expected me to confront them directly like this, and it put them on the spot, "Rei, it's...it's not that we're not proud of you. We just..." My father said but he couldn’t finish his sentence, "You just make it difficult sometimes... with your behavior and choices." my mother added on.

I clenched my jaw, the familiar words cutting through me. I had heard this countless times before, their disappointment in my choices and behavior. "And there it is again. The same old song. 'Disappointing this, difficult that.'” I retorted, my voice tinged with frustration and resentment.

My parents shifted uncomfortably, clearly feeling the weight of the conversation. They were unused to being confronted so directly, and it made them defensive.  "You have to understand, Rei. We only want what's best for you—" my father said as I cut him off,  "What's best for me? What you think is best for me, you mean. What about what I want? What about my choices? It's always about you and what you think is right." I clenched my fists tighter, my emotions rising to the surface. The accumulated years of feeling unseen and unheard were suddenly pouring out, "You never ask me what I want or how I feel. It's always about what you want, what you think is best for me, what looks good on you. It's always about maintaining the damn image."

I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I just started to cry from all the overwhelmed feelings.

My parents were speechless, stunned into silence by my tears. They had never witnessed their emotionless, tough son cry before, and it hit them like a ton of bricks,  "Rei...we...we didn't know you felt that way." My mother said  "We never meant to make you feel unseen...or unheard...we just...we wanted you to be successful..." my father added on.

I wiped the tears from my face, my expression a mix of anger and pain, "But in trying to make me 'successful', you crushed every dream I had that didn't fit your definition of success. You always pushed me towards what you wanted, what would look good on YOU. You never asked me what I wanted, how I felt, what made me happy. It was always about appearances, image, status. You didn't care about ME, just the damn image the family has to maintain!" I looked like a hurt child more than anything.

My words hung in the air, the raw anger and pain in my voice palpable. My parents looked stricken, realizing the depth of my hurt. They had been so blinded by their own ambitions that they had overlooked the toll it had taken on their own son, "Rei...we..." my mom trailed off, at a loss for words. The weight of their actions sank in, and guilt started to well up within them.

All they could do was get closer and hug me. My body tensed slightly at the unexpected hug, unused to such open gestures of love and affection from my parents. But slowly, the tension melted away, and I found myself leaning into their embrace, a mixture of relief and vulnerability washing over me. My mother ran her fingers through my hair, trying to soothe me like she had when I was a child. My father held me tightly, remorse and guilt etched into his face.

I closed my eyes, allowing myself to be held for the first time in a long time. The years of pent-up emotions came flooding out, tears streaming down my face as I clung onto my parents, the weight of the accumulated years of feeling unseen and unheard finally breaking through my tough exterior, My mother held me tightly, her own eyes welling up with tears as she whispered softly, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. We're sorry...we were so blind...we just...we didn't realize how much we were hurting you..."

My father squeezed me tightly, his voice choked with guilt, "We focused so much on the image, on success...we overlooked your happiness, your dreams. We never asked what you truly wanted." He paused, his own tears falling as he held onto me tightly, "We failed you, son. We were supposed to support you, to love you, to listen to you... and instead we just pushed and pushed and pushed..." I wiped my tears away as I spoke up, “It’s a little late for apologies and I’m still…a little hurt…But…I still appreciate the apology…”

My parents felt a glimmer of hope at my words. While they knew forgiveness would take time, the fact that I was willing to acknowledge their apology and open up was a small step forward, "That means a lot, son. We don't expect forgiveness right now, but we promise to work on earning it. We'll do better, we'll listen to you, we'll support your dreams and aspirations from now on. We...we love you, Rei." My father said, typically he’s the one that shows the least number of emotions, and for him to be the one to say he loved me meant a lot. “I…I love you guys too…,”

…

As my parents retreated to the kitchen to prepare dinner, I stepped outside the house and pulled out his phone, scrolling through my contacts until he reached Mays name. I took a deep breath, my heart feeling a mix of relief and vulnerability after the emotional conversation I had just had. I found myself feeling the strange urge to hear his voice, to have him near, like some sort of anchor to keep me grounded. I pressed the call button, bringing the phone up to my ear, waiting for him to answer.

Eventually May answered with a simple, “hello?” I breathed a sigh of relief as his voice came through the phone, a strange sense of comfort washing over me. I leaned against the wall, trying to make my voice sound casual despite the whirlwind of emotions I was feeling inside, "May-san…”

“Need something?” May asked. I couldn't help but smile at his blunt question. "Can't a guy just call to hear your voice?" I could basically feel Mays eye roll over the phone, “Well no but I figured you’d call for a reason,” I chuckled softly, amused by his blunt honesty. "Alright, alright. You got me. I do have a reason for calling."

I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. For a moment, I considered keeping it light and making up a random excuse, but something about May made me decide to be honest, "I just…needed to hear your voice. I just had a rather... emotional conversation with my parents, and I just needed a bit of grounding, if that makes sense."

“Did it go well?  If it went bad you can run to my house and cry your heart out?” I felt warmth spread through my chest at his gentle offer. May had this uncanny ability to cut through my tough exterior and see right to the heart of mine, even over the phone. It was both annoying and endearing, and it made my chest feel tight, "It went...better than I expected. A bit emotional, but they apologized and stuff. I think they really seemed to mean it."

“That’s good, your parents do want the best for you, even though it’s not the best, just because I can’t have the family I want…doesn’t mean others shouldn’t too,” May said, as if it was a depressing reality May accepted. I felt a pang of sympathy and understanding wash over me. Despite his nonchalant tone, I could sense the subtle undercurrent of sadness in his words. It reminded me yet again of the hidden depths to him, the emotional pain May often kept hidden behind that calm facade of his. "Just because you can't... doesn't mean you don't deserve it, though." My voice slightly softening as I said that.

“True…but I gave up on that fantasy of having a full family already,” my heart ached at the casual resignation in his voice. I knew May had resigned himself to the reality of his life, but I couldn't help feeling a mixture of sadness and frustration on his behalf, "You shouldn't have to give up on that dream, you know. You deserve that picture-perfect family as much as anyone else."

“Is that the great mean Rei Sakuma now trying to cheer me up?”  May said sarcastically with a chuckle. I huffed, feigning annoyance at his teasing, but a hint of a smile tugged at the corner of my lips nonetheless, "Can't you just let me be nice to you for once without making a smartass comment about it?"

Then I turned my head turned towards the sound of my mother calling for me from inside the house, my expression faltering slightly, "Damnit. I guess I have to go now. My parents are calling me for dinner..."

“Seems like you have a family call for you, just…call me later, go have fun hahaha,” I chuckled, rolling my eyes at his casual dismissal. But I secretly appreciated his understanding and respect for my family time, "Ha, yeah, real fun. I'll call you later, in the meantime, try not to drive any poor souls nuts with that sarcastic snark of yours, yeah?"

“You're mending a strained relationship, that’s more important than me,” my smiled faintly, my heart feeling lighter at his words. I knew he was trying to downplay his importance, but it didn't stop my chest from fluttering in response, "You're important to me, you idiot. But yeah...I should go deal with this. I'll talk to you later, alright?"

“Yes…Rei-Kun…” May uttered quietly, my breath hitched ever so slightly as he said my name like that in that soft voice, "Later, May-san." “Yes, I’ll call you back Rei-Kun,” With that, I ended the call, my heart feeling a bit lighter as I headed back into the house to join my parents for dinner.

The dinner was…surprisingly pleasant. My parents made an effort to be warm and understanding, making conversation that didn't revolve around their high expectations or past criticisms. They seemed to genuinely want to connect with me on a deeper level. As the meal went on, I found myself gradually relaxing, the weight of the past slowly lifting from my shoulders. My mother's affectionate smiles and my father's quiet but sincere words of encouragement were a stark contrast to the usual coldness I had grown accustomed to. I felt myself slowly warming up to them, my walls gradually dropping as I realized that their concern was genuine and not just a show of keeping up appearances.

Chapter Text

Summer break is silent, expect for the fact that I was now hanging out with my Ex-wife Ayame. I don’t know why either, but we were walking around the city. As me and Ayame, were walking down the street, lost in our conversation, May suddenly bumped into me, causing both Ayame and I to pause. My eyes widened in surprise as I recognized who it was, a mix of emotions crossing my features. "May...?" May looked up me, “Ah sensei! … And Ayame-san…”

It was an unexpected reunion, to say the least. "Yes... ah, it is indeed me. What a surprise to run into you here, May-kun." Ayame's expression remained neutral, her eyes flickering between Tenshi and May, trying to gauge the situation. May gave Ayame a polite bow as he looked at Tenshi, “What are you doing here?” I returned the bow with a small nod, my expression still tinged with a hint of surprise and wariness. "Just taking a walk with Ayame. We were discussing something when you bumped into us." I eyed Mays outfit, shorts that end at his knees and his oversized hoodie, curious to be wearing all that in the heat.

"In a hoodie like that, in this heat? Aren't you roasting under there?" I said with a frown on my face. “It feels the most comfortable,” May held the hood bringing it more down. Ayame, who had been quietly observing, spoke up, her tone slightly accusatory. "You know, you could get heatstroke dressed like that, you know. In temperatures like these, you should really be dressing lighter. Come shopping with us,” she said with minimal malice in her tone. Me and may both look surprised, “E-eh! No need…” May said flustered.

May then went and hid behind me, im assuming its because he still wasn’t used to ayame. I chuckled softly, sensing the younger male's hesitation towards Ayame. I gently placed a hand on May's shoulder, attempting to reassure him. "It's alright, May. Ayame can be... quite direct, but there's no need to be afraid." Ayame, slightly irked by May's attempts to hide behind me, huffed softly and crossed her arms, an unimpressed look on her face.

“Come on! We’ve had a bad encounter in the past I can’t just get comfortable with you that quick!” May argued back. Ayame's expression soured, her irritation towards May growing with his words. She opened her mouth to retort, but I intervened before a argument could begin."Okay, okay, calm down, both of you. May, I understand why you're uncomfortable, but Ayame's just trying to help, alright?" I said as I turned to Ayame, his tone stern. "And Aya... cut him some slack, please. You're not exactly making this easier for him."

Ayame begrudgingly agreed as we both went to the store together. The trio entered the clothing store, the cool air conditioning providing a welcome respite from the summer heat. Ayame immediately set about pulling out various clothing items, holding them up to May, eyeing them with a critical eye."Let's see, we have to find something that's both comfortable and breathable... maybe something in lighter colors..." as Ayame handed May some of the clothes May narrowed his eyes, “I don’t like anything with short sleeves,”

Ayame raised an eyebrow at May's statement, clearly puzzled by his preference for long sleeves."Why the aversion to short sleeves? It's summertime, you know. Long sleeves will just make you feel hotter." May looked away, “I don’t like having my arms exposed…” Ayame looked at May skeptically, clearly amused by his answer. "And why exactly don't you like having your arms exposed? Don't tell me you're self-conscious about your body or something..."

May shot up and looked at Ayame angrily, “It’s a simple boundary!” May rolled his eyes. Ayame scoffed, not entirely convinced by May's explanation."A simple boundary, eh? Sounds a bit extreme, don't you think? It's just arms, after all. It's not like anyone cares about them that much."Ayame continued to scrutinize May, seemingly unconvinced that his dislike for showing his arms was solely due to a personal preference.

Me, sensing the tension beginning to rise again between Ayame and May, quickly intervened."Alright, that's enough, both of you. Ayame, stop pushing May. And May, just bear with her, alright? She's just trying to help, in her own way." I casted a warning glance at Ayame, silently telling her to drop the topic, before turning my attention back to May. Ayame, who had been about to argue back, shut her mouth at my stern glance, mumbling under her breath in irritation."Fine, fine. I'll stop pushing. But he's still getting some new clothes, even if they're all going to have long sleeves." She walked off to look through the clothing racks, leaving me and May alone momentarily.

I turned my attention back to May my expression softer now that Ayame was out of earshot. "Don't mind Ayame, alright? She can be a bit… intense sometimes, but she's just trying to help in her own way." I gave the younger male a small, reassuring smile, sensing the slight discomfort in his demeanor.

May looked back at me with a bit of an awkward glance, “Sensei, why do you…deal with Hayashi-san?” He said with a curious tone. I chuckled softly, the question catching me slightly off guard. I pondered for a moment before responding, my expression contemplative."Why do I deal with Ayame, you ask? Well… it's a bit complicated, I suppose. We have a past that's difficult to ignore. She's difficult, stubborn, and can be quite demanding at times. But deep down, I know she means well. She cares, in her own way." I paused for a moment, my gaze drifting towards Ayame, who was still rummaging through the clothing racks.

“But you guys ARE divorced,” May retorted. I sighed, a hint of resignation in my voice. The mention of their divorce stirred up a mix of emotions within him. "Yes, we are divorced. But it's not as simple as that, you know. We were married for years, and we shared a lot of experiences together. Even if we're not together anymore, we still have a bond. And... I still care about her, in my own way." I ran a hand through my hair, his gaze returning to May, searching for understanding in the younger male's expression.

“Do you still have feelings for her?” May looked up at me as he asked. I paused momentarily, my expression becoming pensive as I wrestled with the question. It was a question I had asked myself countless times before, and yet I never had a clear answer."It's... complicated. I'd be lying if I said there weren't still some lingering feelings there. But, at the same time, I know it wouldn't work between us. We're not good for each other, not anymore." I sighed softly, the complexity of my emotions for Ayame evident in my weary expression.

“What if you met the love of your life today and he told you not to talk to Ayame ever again?” May asked me hypothetically, I chuckled softly at the scenario May presented, the unexpected question catching me off guard, "The love of my life, huh? And he's telling me to cut ties with Ayame? That's certainly a hypothetical situation." I pondered for a moment, considering the implications of such a statement. The idea of meeting someone who would make me choose between them and Ayame... It was a difficult choice to even imagine."I suppose, if I truly loved this person, I would have to give them my undivided attention and commitment."

May gave a teasing smirk as he looked back at me, “what’s with the look?” I asked as I smirked back. “Hmm who knows?” As May said that Ayame came back. She held up a pile of clothing items, eyeing May critically. "Alright, try these on. I picked out a few options to start with." She handed the clothes to May, her tone brokering no room for disagreement. Ayame then turned to Tenshi, her expression shifting slightly, as if wanting to discuss something privately.

*As May disappeared into the changing room, me and Ayame stood in the corner, out of earshot from the other shoppers in the store. Ayame turned to me, her voice lowered to a hushed tone. "Tenshi, there's something I want to discuss with you, privately." I raised an eyebrow, sensing the seriousness in Ayame's voice. I nodded, ready to listen to what she had to say, "Alright, what is it?"

Ayame let out a heavy sigh, her gaze drifting towards the changing room where May was currently getting dressed. "I'm just... worried about May. About the way he acts and how he dresses. He keeps everything covered up and refuses to show any skin. It's not normal, right?" I listened quietly, my expression remaining neutral. While I could see Ayame's concern, he also had a gut feeling that there was more to May's behavior than meets the eye.

I nodded, acknowledging Ayame's concerns. I had noticed the same thing about May, how he always seemed to keep himself covered up and hidden from view. "You may be right. May does have an unusually strong aversion to showing skin. It does seem... abnormal for someone his age." I looked at Ayame with a confused and sort of angry expression,“well, I assumed you didn’t like May so what’s with the concern,” I said almost accusatorially.

 Ayame huffed softly, her expression a mixture of concern and irritation."It's not that I dislike May per se. I just find him... troublesome. He's stubborn, impulsive, and always seems to be stirring up some sort of trouble. But... that doesn't mean I don't care about his well being, you know? Seeing him dress like that, hiding himself under all those clothes, it's just... worrying." I nodded in understanding, knowing that despite her annoyance with May's behavior, Ayame had a good heart. I glanced towards the changing room, contemplating the situation,"I get what you mean. May can be a handful, but there's clearly something driving his actions. There must be a reason why he feels the need to hide himself so completely."

Eventually May came out from the changing room in Ayames clothing selection as he approached us, “what are you talking about?” We turned their attention towards May, our conversation abruptly halted. Ayame's gaze flicked over the clothing items May was trying on, her expression critical yet evaluating, "nothing much." Ayame responded bluntly,

May was wearing the black baggy pants she passed him and a white sweater with a beanie. Ayame looked at May up and down, “hmph, not bad, you should consider switching your style up once in a while,” Ayame said as she walked off to pay.

…

At the end we were walking out the mall on our way home. As the three of us left the store, I found myself carrying the majority of the shopping bags, courtesy of Ayame's extensive selections for May. Ayame, on the other hand, seemed pleased with her purchases, a satisfied smile on her face. She glanced at Tenshi's laden hands, a smug smirk playing at the corner of her lips. “I can hold the bags with my stuff if you’d like,” May said as he finally spoke up with a smile.

I shook my head gently, a small smile on my face."No, no, it's alright. I can manage." I shifted the shopping bags in my grip, adjusting to the weight. Despite the burden of carrying all those items, I didn't voice any complaint, determined to endure it without troubling the others. “Sensei, your too kind for your own good,” May said as he looked over at me with a smile. I chuckled softly at May's sentiment, his expression a mix of amusement and resignation. I smiled, my gaze fixed on May's face, "You're not the first person to say that, you know." I paused for a moment, my smile turning slightly wry, "Sometimes, I wonder if being too kind is more of a burden than a virtue."

May shook his head, “Being kind can be a burden, but being kind helps people have less burden,”

I considered May's words, a thoughtful expression crossing my features. I realized the truth in the younger male's statement and conceded. "You have a point. Being kind can be burdensome at times, but if it helps lighten others' load, then it's worth it, isn't it?" I said as I looked at May, studying his expression, as if searching for something deeper beneath the fabric-shrouded exterior.

“That’s why I like you so much!” May exclaimed as he smiled bright. My expression softened at May's words, a subtle blush creeping across my face. I felt a warmth in my chest at the younger male's honesty and affection, and a mixture of surprise and hesitation on my face."You... like me for that?" I had heard those words before, but coming from May, they felt different, holding a weight and sincerity that I hadn't been expecting.

“You always make me feel good sensei,” I felt a knot forming in my throat, the weight of May's words making my heart clench in a strange, unfamiliar way. I tried to keep my composure, to not show how those simple words had shaken me up, "I... I'm glad I make you feel good." My voice was slightly strained, my gaze avoiding May's.

“Hehe,” May chuckled as he went to hug my arm. I looked down at May in surprise as I smiled at him, “you shouldn’t just hug me suddenly you know,” I went down to ruffle his hair. “Let me have this sensei,” I sighed, giving into his whims, “yes yes May.”

Chapter Text

I entered my restroom. I shoved two fingers down my throat desperately trying to throw up all the food I consumed. I couldn’t eat all that, I shouldn’t eat all that, or else I’ll get fat and I won’t be perfect anymore. I needed to be perfect, people need to know I’m perfect.

Eventually everything came pouring down, even some red, I probably hit the back of my throat too hard and caused a scratch cause not I was vomiting some red. It didn’t bother me though, at least the calories aren’t in me anymore. As I was doing that I suddenly got a call, annoyed I picked up to see who ruined my bliss only to realize it was Tenshi-sensei, I quickly fixed myself and answered the call trying to hide my strained voice as much as possible.

“Ah sensei! Why are you calling?”

“Ah May, nothing much I just wanted to ask if your going to the Hanabi festival,Miyano-sensei asked me to go and I wanted to see if anyone else was going,” as Tenshi said that my mind flash backed to when I was a kid and I’d stare out on my balcony on the fireworks far away. I never got to go, it was an event to go with people you love, and I never loved anyone…until now at least.

“Of course I’ll go!”

“Then it’s settled see you then,” as the call ended, filled with happiness, I was excited to actually do something semi normal.

Hanabi…I wanna go…

Soon it was the day of the festival, as I wore my yukata, I looked at it and twirled around infront of my mirror in the yukata. I was excited to go…

It was late in the night, and unknown to me my father was sitting in his office, in his suit going over some paperwork. I thought he was at a business trip not that he would be back so early. He heard footsteps approaching and got out his office to see me in my yukata. "What are you still doing up?" He questioned firmly, his eyes narrowing. I looked up at him in surprise, “Father your home, I thought you’d still be away for business,” I walked up to him.

My father gave a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "I was supposed to be, but I had to return early." And why are you still up? It's late." He scolded me. I looked down fidgeting around, “Hanabi festival…” My Father raised an eyebrow. He had forgotten that the Hanabi festival was tonight. "Ah, right. The Hanabi festival." He looked at me again, taking in my appearance once more. "Were you planning on going by yourself at this hour?"

“Well, I was hoping to go…my friends will be there,” He let out a disapproving grunt. "Absolutely not. It's dangerous to be out so late at night, especially during a festival." He replied firmly. The overprotective father in him coming out once again. I looked up in surprise as I looked up at him with a mix of emotions, shock, sadness, anger, “But father!” He raised a hand, silencing me. "No buts. You're not going, end of discussion." He stated firmly, his tone left no room for argument. The stern father was not going to be swayed this time.

I was pleading with him, “I’ll be with my friends and please…” He sighed deeply, noticing the pleading look on your face. He knew I wanted to go, but the protective side of him was stronger. "It's not a matter of who you'll be with. It's still too dangerous. There will be crowds, drunk people, and who knows what else." He tried to reason with me, his expression remaining firm. He was unwilling to give in this time. “Well why not? I can’t have fun like the kids my age?!?!”

His expression hardened at my question."You're not like the other kids your age. You come from a prominent family, with responsibilities and expectations. Besides, you have plenty of fun here at home."  He was trying to assert his authority as your father. I ended up storming into my room as I slammed the door shut and locked it.

All I could do was curl up and cry in bed…I don’t want to be an adult…I want to be a kid. Just this one time, I want this. This is the only thing I really want, and he wasn’t giving it to me…

My phone had a buzz as I took it to look at it, Rei texted me,

Rei: > “are you coming to the festival today?”

 I quickly picked up my phone when I saw the text from Rei. I replied to his text message

May: > "I can't. My dad won't let me go, are you going or something?”

Rei: > “yeah…my friends are dragging me there,”

I read his response, a mix of disappointment and longing forming in your heart. I wanted to be there with him, to enjoy the Hanabi festival together.

May: >"I wish I could be there with you…,"

Rei: > “did you really want to go?”

I quickly typed in my response, my feelings pouring out into the text.

May: > Yes… more than anything. But my dad is being so strict and won't let me go. It's so unfair…”

I hit send, the frustration and longing evident in my words.

Rei: > “where are you right now?”

May: > “home…”

And with that Rei didn’t text back. The screen stayed silent. My heart sunk a little, wondering if he was busy or if he had lost interest in the conversation. Feeling rejected and lonely, I tossed the phone aside and let out a sigh, staring up at the ceiling. The tears started flowing as the emotions overwhelmed me. I felt helpless, stuck in my room while everyone else was out having fun. The loneliness was crushing, and I felt like I were missing out on all the joy and excitement. I buried my face in the pillow, letting out soft sobs, the unfairness of it all becoming too much to bear.

After what felt like an eternity Rei texted back.

Rei: > “look out your balcony,”

I wiped my tears as I walked to the balcony. I gasped softly, my heart skipping a beat as I saw Rei standing there, looking up at me on the balcony. It was a surprise, but a welcomed one. I couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement, my earlier sadness forgotten for a moment.

 “Rei-Kun…” I breathed out, stepping closer to the railing. He stood there, looking up at me with a small smirk on his face. He was dressed casually in a black shirt and pants, but he still looked handsome as usual. *You watched as he took the ladder nearby, leaning it against the side of the building. He started to climb up on a ladder his movements fast and skillful. In no time at all, he was on the balcony with me, standing a few feet away from where I was standing. He straightened up with a grin, eyeing me with a mix of mischief and affection. "Hey, May-san,"

“What’s this Romeo and Juliet?” I said jokingly as I leaned against the railing where he was. Rei chuckled softly at my comment, stepping a little closer to me."Something like that, only hopefully with a happier ending." He replied, his voice slightly teasing. He leaned casually against the railing, a lighthearted smile on his face as he looked at me.

Rei then gestured for me to climb down. “Eh? Are you saying I sneak out?” Rei grinned, raising an eyebrow at my question. "Yep. That's exactly what I'm saying." He responded without missing a beat, a touch of mischief in his voice. He was clearly enjoying this little adventure, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. I was a little hesitant, “What if…my father finds out,” Rei shrugged nonchalantly, his confidence undeterred. "He won't. We'll be quick and sneaky. He'll never know you're gone."Rei assured me, as if it was the most casual thing in the world. His carefree attitude was both reassuring and slightly reckless. He obviously wanted me to experience the Hanabi festival with him.

Rei helped me get down the ladder as he looked at me in my yakuta. His gaze softened a bit as he took in my figure, a hint of admiration in his eyes. "You look good," Rei said softly, his voice tinged with sincerity. I looked up at him as he wrapped his arms around my waist and I placed my hands on his chest, “thank you…” Rei smiled as he took my arm and took me to the drive through where there was a balcony car waiting.

Rei opened the car as I saw Tenshi-sensei in the driver’s seat. “Eh sensei? Why are you here?” He looked back at me with a smile, “Rei told me the situation and I offered to drive you guys, now come in,” I looked back at Rei, “I didn’t realize you and Tenshi even talked,”

“Well remember the time you almost got beat up by a bunch of guys at a party? Yeah we’ve been talking since then, anyways, get in!” I scoffed as I entered the car with him. Rei chuckled at my scoff, clearly amused by my reaction. He took the seat next to me in the back, still wearing a grin. "Lighten up, May-san. It's gonna be fun." He teased, nudging me jokingly. Tenshi checked the rearview mirror, then pulled the car out into the street.

I looked over at Rei and Smiled at him as Rei returned my smile, his eyes softening as he saw my smile. There was a moment of silent understanding between us, the earlier bickering forgotten. Tenshi glanced at us through the rearview mirror and rolled his eyes dramatically. "You two are insufferable," He muttered sarcastically, but an amused smirk playing on his lips.

I looked over at the clock, “what time do the fireworks start?” Rei followed my gaze to the clock on the dashboard. "Hmm, they should start around 8pm if I remember correctly." He replied, his eyes flickering back to me. Tenshi chimed in from the front. "Yeah, so we should have just enough time to get there, enjoy the festivities, and find a good spot for the fireworks." I looked up in concern, “But it’s a lot of cars what if we get stuck in traffic?”

Tenshi chuckled, unfazed by my concern, "Don't worry, I know a shortcut. We'll avoid the worst of the traffic and get there in no time." He said confidently, his expression calm. Rei grinned at my worried demeanor, finding your concern endearing. "Relax, we got this." He reassured me, reaching out to give my hand a slight squeeze.

The clock was kicking, and it was hitting 7:55pm. Rei glanced at the clock again as the minutes ticked away. It was getting close to time for the fireworks. "Almost there..." He muttered, a hint of anticipation in his voice. Tenshi, who was at the wheel, seemed focused as he maneuvered through the streets, using his "shortcut" to avoid traffic.

Soon as the clock hit 7:59pm we reached the festival we got out the car. As we all got out of the car, Tenshi immediately took my hand and began to run uphill towards the festival. The air was charged with excitement, the sounds of laughter and chatter growing louder as we approached the festivities. Rei couldn't help the wide grin on his face, exhilarated by the thrill of sneaking out and the promise of fireworks to come.

Several of Rei's friends appeared, shouting and hollering as they dragged him away by the arms. Caught off guard, his eyes widened, clearly not expecting this sudden intervention. "Hey, what the—" He tried to protest, but his friends were stronger and more determined than he was. They dragged him off, leaving me and Tenshi alone, just in time to witness the first burst of colorful fireworks lighting up the night sky.

As the fireworks lit up the night sky, painting the darkness with a burst of vibrant colors, both me and Tenshi turned our gaze upward, mesmerized by the spectacle. The crackling explosions and vibrant display were breathtaking, momentarily making me forget about the chaotic scene with Rei's friends. Tenshi, standing beside me, let out a low whistle in admiration. "Wow... they're beautiful," I looked up in the sky in awe but eventually my gaze turned to Rei.

I tried to focus on the fireworks, but my gaze kept drifting back to the spot where Rei had been dragged away by his friends. Despite the colorful display above, my thoughts were still preoccupied with him. Tenshi, observant as always, noticed my distracted expression. He followed my line of sight, catching a glimpse of Rei, surrounded by his friends who seemed to be having the time of their lives, completely oblivious to my longing look.

Once the fireworks came to an end and the festival began to wind down, Tenshi rummaged through his bag and pulled out a handful of various snacks: candied strawberries, fried chicken, and grilled squid on a stick. He offered the goodies to me with a friendly smile. "Here, I grabbed some festival treats. Thought you might want a snack." He said casually, his hand extending the snacks your way.

I smiled as I took them, “thank you…Hey sensei,” Tenshi paused, noticing my tone had shifted from lighthearted to more serious. He turned to look at me, tilting his head curiously. "Yeah, what's up?” He asked, casually leaning against a nearby railing, waiting for my response. “Do you think…any stores would be open right now”

Tenshi scratched his chin, considering my question for a moment. It was late at night, and most stores would be closed by now. But he wasn't one to turn down an adventure. "Hmm...there might be a couple of convenience stores that are open 24/7. Why?" He asked, a curious glimmer in his eye, intrigued by my sudden interest in stores this late at night.

I jumped up to face him and gave him a sly smile, “Curious,” Tenshi raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying your vague reasoning. He could sense there was more to my interest in stores. But he decided to play along, humoring my curiosity. "Just...curious, huh? At this time of night?" He repeated, a slight smirk forming on his lips. He was used to my quirks by now, but he couldn't help but find my mysterious nature somewhat endearing and amusing. “Hehe yeah just curious,”

After I went to the store I went to the beach side by the festival. I know Rei would probably be there so I went to go find him. Rei was sitting on the beach, the cool night air and calming sound of waves crashing onto the shore providing a peaceful backdrop. He was gazing up at the night sky, lost in thought. As I approached, he heard my footsteps in the sand and turned around. When he saw me, a flicker of surprise crossed his face, though he quickly masked it with a relaxed grin.

"Hey," He greeted me softly, his voice carrying a hint of curiosity. I looked down at him, “hey…”

Rei continued to smile at me. For a moment, neither of us spoke. The night seemed to wrap around us both in a comfortable silence, broken only by the rhythmic sound of the waves lapping against the shore. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Rei spoke up quietly. "You found me," I looked down at him, “I knew you’d be here,”

Rei let out a soft chuckle, his smile growing a bit wider as he heard my words. It didn't surprise him that I knew where to find him; he had a feeling I would figure it out eventually. He leaned back slightly, shifting his gaze back up to the night sky, the stars twinkling above me like a canvas of diamonds. "You know me too well,"

“Thank you, for finding me,” Rei turned his head to look at me, his eyes meeting mine. He couldn't help but find my words endearing, a warm feeling washing over him from the gratitude in your voice. He let out another soft chuckle, his gaze softening as he reached over to give my hand a small squeeze. "Don't thank me for that. I'll always find you, you know. No matter what,"

I showed off the snacks Tenshi gave me and the firecrackers I bought at the store just now. Rei's eyes lit up as he saw the firecrackers and snacks, I had in my hands. His curiosity piqued, he scooted closer to get a better look. "Whoa, hey! Where'd you get all that? He exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and excitement, reaching out to take a closer look at the firecrackers. He had a soft spot for anything that went boom, especially at night.

I smiled as I looked down at him, “Bought them, Wanna just play around until I have to go back,” Rei's eyes sparkled with adventure at my suggestion. A grin spread across his face as he nodded eagerly. "Heck yeah! We've got all this stuff, and the night's still young. Why not have some fun?" Rei exclaimed, his enthusiasm matching mine. He couldn't resist the excitement of a late-night adventure.

I went and I lit up the sparklers. Rei watched in delight as I lit up the sparklers, their bright streaks of light dancing through the night sky. He let out a low whistle, clearly impressed by the sight. "Woah... that's pretty awesome," He commented, his eyes following the sparkling trail of the sparkler. He reached over and took the other one, lighting it with a small lighter he had in his pocket. "Here, let me join in,"

As we both ran around the beach, twirling the sparking sparklers in our hands, Rei couldn't help but feel like a kid again. The thrill of the night, the sound of the waves, and the sparkling lights in front of him made for a perfect moment of carefree fun. He chased after me, trying to tag me while also waving the sparkler around. "You're not getting away from me that easily!" “Hey!” Rei caught me.

With a victorious grin, Rei finally managed to catch me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me close and preventing me from fleeing. "Gotcha!" He declared, a hint of playfulness in my voice. He laughed as he held me tight, enjoying the feeling of having caught me. I couldn’t help but laugh as I held the sparkler.

Rei chuckled as he heard my laughter, the sound filling his heart with joy. He released his hold on me slightly, still keeping one arm around my waist. He took the opportunity to playfully tease me. "You're not going anywhere now. You're stuck with me, at least until the sparks on these things burn out," I looked up at him, “if that’s the case I never want the sparks to go off,”

Rei's smile softened as I looked up at him, my words melting his heart. He wrapped his arm a little tighter around me, pulling me in just a bit closer. The sparklers continued to burn, casting a soft golden light around the two of us. He leaned in a bit closer, his voice dropping to a low, almost intimate whisper. "Be careful what you wish for. If the sparks don't go off, I might just have to keep you all to myself forever,"

The night continued as me and Rei lit up more sparklers, the beach now filled with the flickering glow of bright sparks. We ran around, chasing each other and laughing as each sparkler burned out one by one. As the pile of spent sparklers grew larger, Rei finally stopped in his tracks, reaching out to gently tug at your arm. Rei took a moment to catch his breath; his face flushed from the exertion and the adrenaline still coursing through his veins. He pulled me a little closer to him, his eyes locking on mine. The light from the remaining sparklers danced across his features, adding a soft glow to his already handsome face.

Eventually the spinal sparklers went out as we stayed close. As the final spark flickered out, the beach darkened again, leaving only the soft glow of the moon and distant stars to illuminate the night. Me and Rei stood close together, breaths still slightly ragged from the earlier antics. The silence that followed was comfortable, broken only by the sound of the waves gently lapping at the shoreline. Without a word, Rei shifted his hold on me, his arms wrapping loosely yet possessively around you.

I looked up at him as I awkwardly said, “I have to get going, before my father is here,” Rei's expression turned a touch sulky, clearly unwilling to let me go just yet. But he knew you couldn't stay all night. He let out a sigh, reluctantly letting go of me. "Right. Gotta get back before your dad starts a manhunt," I got out of his grip slightly, “I’ll get us a cab,”

Rei chuckled softly, a hint of amusement sparkling in his eyes. The thought of his dad on a manhunt because I stayed out too late seemed comical to him. "Sounds like a plan. But you better hurry. I can already hear him yelling from here," He teased, the light-hearted moment slightly masking his reluctance to see you go. I turned around to look at him, “Rei-Kun?”

Rei's eyes flicked up to meet mind as I said his name, a curious expression crossing his features. The tone of my voice sounded a bit serious, "Yeah?" He responded, tilting his head slightly, his attention fully on you now.

“I like…” *Rei's curiosity piqued further; his eyes locked on mg face as he waited for me to continue. He could sense the sincerity in my voice, knowing that I wanted to share something meaningful with him. He leaned in slightly, silently encouraging me to reveal whatever was on my mind. I laughed awkwardly,

 “I like…fireworks! Yeah I like fireworks ,” My heart fluttered in my chest as I said those words. A warm smile tugged at the corners of Rei’s mouth, his earlier reluctance fading away in an instant. He took a step closer, closing the short distance between me and him as he gently reached out to take my hand in."You do?"He asked, his voice softer than before, his fingers intertwining with mine.

I looked away, a little shy, “Well I um should go, Cinderella needs to leave by midnight,” Rei's playful expression softened slightly as I mentioned having to go. He was still reluctant to let me go but knew he couldn't keep me out all night, otherwise my dad really would start a manhunt.He let out an exaggerated sigh, feigning disappointment. "Right, right. Go on, Cinderella, before the night's up,"

I looked up at him as I looked at him and smiled while running off. Rei watched as I took off running, a hint of affection in my eyes. He shook his head slightly, a soft smile tugging at his lips. He called out after me, his voice just loud enough for you to hear. "Don't trip on your glass slippers on the way out,"

“I won’t!” I shouted out. Rei chuckled to himself as he heard I defiant response. Despite my determination, "Famous last words!" He called out, his voice laced with affectionate amusement.

I chuckled out loud as I left. I felt satisfied and happy that I had this moment. I finally experienced what I want…I want to experience even more. I wasn’t perfect and that’s okay.

Chapter Text

I had definitely not forgotten the Hanabi festival, if anything the memories of May haunted my thoughts, driving me slightly insane during the whole summer break. Finally, school started again and soon began the same routine that I was used to. As I walked through the school gates, I couldn’t help but immediately survey the crowd, searching for May with slight eagerness in my gaze. I spotted him through the mass of students, a small flicker of relief crossing my expression as I watched him walk through the crowd. I made my way over to him, shoving my hands in my pockets and adjusting my open uniform as I approached. "You," I said simply, my usual air of confidence masking a hint of anxiety as I tried to act nonchalant.

May slowly turned to face me, and I could see that his face was in a deep red beet roof, “h-hey, Rei-Kun!”

I couldn’t help but notice the obvious blush on his cheeks, my gaze lingering on his face for a moment as I registered the sight. That damn adorable little blush that I found myself yearning for more of. I tried my best to keep my own expression cool and collected, as well as my own feelings in check, letting out a small smirk while I replied, "It’s good to see you again." I said, my voice casual despite my mind being anything but that.

“R-right…good to see you too,” May said still flustered and shy. I shrugged casually, trying to put up my usual nonchalant facade. I still refused to acknowledge the damn butterflies in my stomach, or the way my heart did stupid things when I looked at him, or even the way my hand ached to reach out and hold him, "So ah... How was your summer?" I said awkwardly, my gaze shifting aside for a moment before finding his eyes again, a flicker of something warm and subtle behind the usual expression.

“It was…fun…I suppose,” I nodded, my expression still mostly relaxed and easy-going. But there was a hint of something behind my eyes that I couldn’t quite disguise, that subtle note of something… softer. That warm feeling I had been trying not to pay attention to, "That’s good. You look… good." I said, my tone slightly more genuine, my gaze running over his face and lingering on his eyes, as I tried to suppress the urge to reach out and touch his cheek.

“Do I?” May asked as he twirled his hair. I swallowed hard at the sight of him fidgeting with his hair. He knew the effect it had on me, the way his fingers gently threaded through the short, silky strands, sending a jolt straight to my chest, I tried to keep my thoughts and my feelings in check, my fingers clenching tight into fists in my pockets, my jaw tightening to stop myself from getting… carried away, "Y-yeah. You look really damn good." I replied lamely, my voice coming out slightly hoarse.

“Well, um! I suppose I’ll see you around!” May said before running off. "Right… See you around!!” I yelled out before forcing myself to walk away to my class.

…

I wondered why May was acting so weird, I mean he was usually snarkier and teasing. I made my way through the crowded halls, the sound of chatter and the clanking of bags growing louder as I walked. I rounded the corner and made my way over to Tenshi-sensei, a small hint of worry and perhaps even desperation evident, "Sensei, can I talk to you for a moment?" I said firmly.

Tenshi glanced up from his stack of papers, a gentle smile on his face as he gestured for me to come closer, "Sure thing, Rei. What's up?" he spoke easily, his voice soft and kind, his eyes filled with a warm, fatherly gaze as he looked at me, "You seem a bit agitated." I ran a hand through my hair, my expression tense, my jaw tight. I didn't even know where to start, trying to make sense of my own thoughts and feelings, trying not to let on too much of what I was feeling, "Yeah, well…" I muttered, trying not to let my voice catch. I took a breath and tried again, my voice slightly hoarse, "It's… It's May. He’s acting strange lately. Different. I don't understand why."

“May Sakurajima?” I nodded. The person who had been taking up every stupid and awkward thought in my mind, the boy who looked so perfect and sweet and who just seemed to mess with my own emotions without even realizing it, "yeah. He’s acting weird. Distracted. He can't seem to focus at all during class. It's like He’s... off-balance or something." I said quietly, my jaw still tense.

 “Off balance huh?” Tenshi asked as he looked at me curiously, I nodded again, frustrated beyond words. I didn't want to care, didn't want to feel this way, but I couldn't control it anymore, "Yeah. He's not himself. I don't understand. I mean... it's like he's got something on his mind. I kept zoning out, like I was distracted by something or someone,” I said, his voice growing more and more strained.

“Are you sure he’s annoyed at you? What are his characteristics like?” Tenshi questioned, I paused for a moment at the question, trying to recall the more subtle details and the little things I noticed about May. I felt a bit ridiculous, talking about a person with my teacher, but I needed to understand the problem. "He’s usually smiling… or teasing me. But now he’s een more tense and distant. Even his smile has this underlying… undercurrent of… I don't know, frustration or annoyance, beneath the surface." I said, my eyes narrowing in deep thought.

“Has he been flustered? Face red? Or…?” I nodded again, a frustrated sigh escaping my lips as K remembered the memory of his flushed cheeks, the little pink tint that seemed to appear on his face when I was around, "Yeah. Yeah, sometimes. He gets all damn flustered and his face turns red when he has to look me straight in the eye. He's got these shy little glances he tries to play off… I don't know, it's like he's trying to avoid me, but at the same time I can feel his eyes on me almost constantly." I said, my voice growing hoarse again.

Meanwhile Tenshi just looked at me and gave me a knowing, teasing smile, as if he knew what was happening perfectly. I huffed, crossing my arms and letting out another tired sigh, my jaw still tight, my own frustrated thoughts still whirling through my mind a thousand miles a damn second, "I don’t get it. He's acting all weird one second, then the next he's looking at me with these damn puppy dog eyes and I just wanna-" I cut myself off, shaking my head to shake off the image that had just played behind my eyes, "It's confusing"  I said, my voice almost a raspy whisper.

“Well…why do you think May is like this?” Tenshi asked. I sighed, my arms crossed over my chest, my eyes downcast. Even as I desperately tried to push down the thought, "Maybe… maybe it’s nothing. Maybe he's just going through something. Maybe he's just moody. Maybe I'm overthinking it." I said, my jaw still tight, my denial of my own feelings making the words feel like poison on my tongue.

“Maybe something happened recently and there was a change in his behaviour,” Tenshi interjected as he gave me a smile. I hesitated again. That was a possibility too, a far more likely one. I was probably making a damn fuss over a simple issue. I was over-thinking, "Yeah, maybe. Maybe something happened and I'm just being an idiot." I muttered, a frustrated expression crossing my features, my mind running through numerous possible scenarios, "Or maybe I’m just reading too far into it, and he’s just being… himself." I said, my voice almost a low, hoarse whisper.

Tenshi reached out and went to ruffle my hair. I huffed at the gesture, my eyes narrowing slightly as my hair was messed up, but I secretly felt a bit better. It was comforting, the way the cool, fatherly touch made me feel. "Ah... can't believe you just did that..." I muttered, my voice just slightly hoarser than before.

“I hope everything works out for you Rei-chan,” Tenshi exclaimed. I tried his best not to react to the nickname. It was cute as hell, the way he had thrown it on there so casually. A warmth that I just had to shove down deeper and deeper. And the stupid little smile that came right after it, like Tenshi knew exactly the effect it had on me and he only did it to mess with me even more, "Me too" I mumbled, my eyes still closed as I tried to keep my damn emotions in check.

As I walked off Tenshi was there left alone with his thoughts.

…

I couldn’t help but think about Rei, think about the Hanabi festival.

“Sensei! Do you have your car with you?” Rei asked me as he ran up to me with a bit of exasperation in his voice. I jolted out of my thoughts, startled at the sudden sound of Rei's voice. I turned to see the young teen standing there, a hopeful expression on his face. "Yeah, I've got my car here. Why?" Rei immediately ran to the car park expecting me to follow, “Mays dad is not letting him go see the fireworks I need you to help me get him! Please sensei!” Rei said almost pleading at me.

I raised an eyebrow. I could sense the desperation in Rei's voice, "Let me get this straight, you want me to help you kidnap May from his overprotective father so you can take him to see the fireworks, huh?"

“Yes! We don’t have time,” I chuckled softly, shaking my head at Rei's eagerness. I was used to the boy's impulsive nature, but the plan to kidnap May from his protective father was certainly something new. I considered the plan for a moment, weighing the pros and cons in my head, "You do realize this could backfire pretty badly, right?" Rei looked down before shooting up to yell at me, “but it’s worth it!”

I had to admit, the boy's determination was admirable, even if it was a somewhat crazy idea. "Alright, alright. I'll help you, get in."

As we got May from his house and to the venue of the festival the scene unfolded like a comedic skit, with me leading May up the hill and Rei being dragged away by his friends in the opposite direction. As the boys reached the top of the hill, they were greeted by the sight of the Hanabi Festival in full swing. The night sky was painted with various explosions of red, green, yellow and blue. It was a beautiful and breathtaking sight, with hundreds of people below enjoying the event, food stalls and various activities

Amidst the vibrant displays of the Hanabi, May's attention was completely drawn to Rei, his gaze never leaving the young teen even for a moment. It was as if nothing else mattered but him. Me, being observant as ever, noticed May's unwavering gaze, and it didn't take long for me to catch on. A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth, and I leaned in closer to May. "You can't seem to take your eyes off him, huh?" may looked at me in shock, “e-eh?”

I chuckled softly, finding it endearing how May seemed caught off guard by my comment. I nudged him slightly, a knowing smile on my face, "Oh, come on, don't play coy with me. I know exactly who's got your attention tonight. It's Rei, ain't it?" May looked back down, “Nothing…it’s just…why would he help me? He doesn’t get anything from helping me,”

I raised an eyebrow, a flicker of curiosity in my eyes. I knew exactly what May was referring to. It wasn't often that teenagers like Rei would go out of their way to help someone without expecting anything in return. My voice now taking on a more contemplative tone, "You know, it's true that most people don't help others without getting something in return. But maybe... just maybe, Rei's different. Maybe he genuinely likes you and genuinely wants to help you with no ulterior motive."

May looked up at me as I kept my gaze focused on the sky. I caught the look on May's face out of the corner of my eye. I could sense the younger boy's uncertainty, the lingering doubt about Rei's motivations. I turned my attention from the sky to May, studying his expression as I spoke, "Look, you can sit here all evening wondering why he's helping you. You can try to find some hidden reason, or some hidden agenda. But... have you ever considered the possibility that he's simply being kind because he wants to?"

May scoffed, “Humans by nature have ulterior motives, I highly doubt he’s doing it from the goodness of his heart,” May spoke up. I chuckled softly, finding it amusing how cynical May's view was, yet at the same time, understandable given his upbringing,  "You're right; many people do have ulterior motives. The world can be a pretty cold, selfish place. But... not everyone is like that. Not all humans are out to get something from you. Sometimes, people do things out of kindness, not because they expect anything in return. Maybe Rei's not trying to get anything from you. Maybe he just...likes you."

“Likes me…?” May questioned, I noticed the hint of surprise in May's expression, as if the mere thought of someone liking him seemed outlandish. I chuckled softly again, shaking my head, "Yeah, likes you. You know, finds you attractive, wants to be around you, enjoys spending time with you. That kind of likes...” I spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, as if the concept was simple and obvious.

“Is that so…” May said quietly thinking about it, as I chuckled and ruffled his hair.

As I thought about the memory and looked back to the present it was very clear, May was in love with Rei and Rei is too dumb to notice it and May is too proud to admit it, “those idiots…”

Chapter Text

The autumn air was crisp and cool, the moon shining brightly in the clear night sky, I was in an onsen trying to relax when i suddenly heard some steps walking towards me. I looked up and it was Rei with a towel on him as he looked down at me sitting in the steaming water, the moonlight reflecting off the water in shock. He couldn't help but stare. “Rei-Kun?” I quietly said.

Rei's heart fluttered at the sound of my voice, snapping him out of his reverie. He realized he had been caught staring, and a slight flush crept across his cheeks as he turned to face me, "Uh...hey..." He shuffled awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to say next. He definitely hadn't expected to run into me here, especially not alone in the onsen. "Didn't expect to find you here."

I glanced up at him a blush creeping on my face hiding it under the warmth of the onsen, “You too…” Rei nodded, his eyes still roving over my figure in the water, taking in the way the moonlight caressed my skin. "Yeah, I just...needed to clear my head. Couldn't sleep, ya know." I tilted my head to look at him, “Well, why are you just standing there?” I asked him.

Rei blinked, realizing that he had indeed been standing there like an idiot. He could feel heat rising to his face as he quickly made his way over to the edge of the hot spring, He stepped into the water, the warmth encompassing his body, and took a seat across from you, "Happy now?" I nodded, “yeah,”

I brought my knees to my chest; I had lots of cuts and scars on my arms and thighs. Rei's eyes flicked down to my arms, his heart giving a little pang as he noticed the cuts and scars littering my skin. It was a stark reminder of the hardships I had endured, something he knew I tried hard to hide, I tried to keep his tone casual, but there was a hint of concern in his voice, "You, okay?"

“What?” I asked finally paying attention to him. Rei nodded towards my arms, the cuts and scars visible under the light of the moon, "The cuts. On your arms and thighs...you, okay?" I looked at him puzzled, “why are you asking?”

Rei sighed, his eyes roaming over the various scars and cuts on my skin. He knew it was a delicate topic, but the concern he felt outweighed his usual hesitation, "You're always trying to hide them, but...I see them, May-san. I see how you avoid showing your arms and legs, trying to cover them up. You think I don't notice?" I looked away from him, “They cuts are healed cuts anyways,”

Rei's heart felt heavy as he watched I try to brush the topic away, as if the scars on his skin were nothing of importance. He knew I was deflecting, trying to avoid a difficult conversation. But damn it, he couldn't let it go, "Healed or not, I can still see them. Those cuts tell a story, ya know. A story you don't like talking about."

I didn’t say anything as if I was trying to hide talking about it, “Your right I don’t,” I finally spoke up. "You know I'm not gonna let this go, right? I'm not stupid, May-san. I can tell when you're trying to avoid something." Rei bit back a frustrated sigh, his eyes fixed on my face. He could read the subtle signs - the tension in my shoulders, the way my jaw set slightly, the flicker in my eyes.

“No one knows anything about me and I’m keeping it that way,” I fought back. "You're always so set on keeping people at a distance, aren't you? Building up that damn wall around yourself, refusing to let anyone in,” Rei clenched his jaw, a wave of frustration building within him. He hated how stubborn I could be, how determined I was to keep his secrets guarded. Yet, he also felt a pang of sadness.

“…I cut myself when I feel inadequate or if I feel like I’m losing control of my life,” I finally said, finally opening up about my struggles.

Rei's heart clenched at my words, a mixture of shock and sorrow flooding through him. The confession was like a punch to the gut, a painful reminder of how much I was suffering alone. He tried to keep his voice steady, but the raw emotion in his eyes betrayed his calm demeanor, "God...May-san. I..." He trailed off, the sight of the scars on my arms and legs suddenly becoming more than a physical manifestation of my pain. They were a window into the turmoil I kept so carefully hidden. He took a deep breath, his voice now a hushed whisper, "You've been going through that alone, haven't you? These scars... they're proof of how much you've been hurting. And you never let anyone in, do you?"

“What? You going to tell me to stop cutting for you or something?” I said looked up at him with a glare and a scowl. Rei felt a pang of frustration and anger at my defensive response, but he fought to keep his voice steady, "No, damn it. I'm not gonna bark orders at you. I'd be a damn hypocrite if I did that. But I'm not going to sit here and pretend like it's okay either." He paused, his eyes meeting mine across the hot spring, "You can't keep shutting everyone out forever, May-san. It's eating you alive."

When Rei looked into my eyes his heart gave a small jolt. In that moment, all his frustration, worry, and anger melted away, replaced by a fierce protectiveness that flared within him. He held my gaze, his eyes locking onto mine. "You're hurting, May-san. I can see it. But you keep putting up this front, pretending everything's fine. I hate it.you can be so much more, instead of just tearing yourself apart like this."

“This conversation would be nice if we weren’t both naked right now,” I said immediately breaking the tension.

Rei was caught off guard by the sudden shift in my tone. The seriousness of the moment was suddenly punctured as the reality of our situation hit him. He almost sputtered, his eyes widening as he remembered the fact that they were both bare, the hot spring water lapping gently around them, "Ah...I..." He stuttered for a moment, suddenly feeling very aware of the intimate setting and the lack of clothing between them. I chuckled at his stuttering finding him funny.

Rei's heart skipped a beat when I chuckled, his mind reeling from the sudden change in atmosphere. He took a deep breath, trying to recompose himself as he looked at me, a mixture of frustration and a hint of amused disbelief in his eyes, "You're damn good at changing the subject, you know that?" I shook my head, “That’s how I get people to avoid discussing about my life…though, I don’t mind we talk about it,”

Rei couldn't help but smirk, a mix of irritation and begrudging amusement at his skillful deflection. He leaned back in the hot spring, watching me closely, "Of course you do. You always have a way of dodging hard conversations. It's infuriating, but damn it, it's also kinda cute."

I sat up a bit more, “Well, whatever, you already saw my scars I see no point in hiding them,” I lifted my hands up to rake through my hair. The sight of me, bare and vulnerable, made his heart and mind a tangled mess. He was suddenly hyper-aware of every detail - the way the moonlight caressed my skin, the way the water glistened on my body...He clenched his fists, fighting back a wave of conflicting emotions, "Scars or no scars, those cuts on your arms... they mean something, May-san. They mean you're hurting…and yet I can forgive the world for all it’s cruelty because you're in it,”

I looked at Rei as he looked back at me stating quiet just enjoying each others presence.

While enjoying our presence then the door suddenly bursted open as we looked up in shock. It was Tenshi with a towel around his waist. Wait! Why would he be here! I didn’t know what to say.

Rei's heart jumped in his chest when Tenshi Sensei appeared out of nowhere, his eyes quickly darting to the teacher, then to me, and then back again. He tried to maintain his composure, his hands shifting subtly below the water to cover himself up a bit better, "Sensei... What the hell are you doing here?" Tenshi Sensei was shocked as he took in the scene before him: the three of us in the hot springs, half-naked and clearly caught off-guard, "Well, I wanted to take a relaxing dip in a hot spring. And what do I find? My two favourite students in a private onsen alone, at night."

Rei's cheeks heated up a bit more, embarrassment and defensiveness warring within him. He was acutely aware of his state of half-nakedness, and the fact that our teacher suddenly appeared out of nowhere, "Sensei, it's not what it looks like—" He tried to defend the situation, though he knew it looked pretty damn incriminating. “It’s not what it looks like!” I interjected. Tenshi raised an eyebrow, clearly amused yet skeptical as he looked between the two of us. His tone was slightly dry, "Oh? And what does it look like, then? You both were alone, half-naked, in the private onsen...at night. Please do enlighten me."

“Autumn is chilly, so we decided to go to an onsen simple!” I tried to explain myself. Tenshi’s expression didn't change. He seemed unconvinced by the explanation. "Chilly autumn... so you both decided to strip down and soak in the hotspring. And just the two of you, alone, in a private onsen, at night." He paused for a moment; his voice laced with a hint of sarcasm, "That's a perfectly normal and innocent explanation, isn't it?"

“Well, I mean you’re here too, aren’t you?” I retorted. Tenshi was a little bit awkward. "Touché. But I'm the adult who stumbled upon the scene. You're the ones who were here first, alone and half-naked at night." All 3 of us were still very awkward about the conversation, however.

Tenshi sat a few feet away. There was a hint of an awkwardness on his face as he glanced at me and Rei, his eyes taking in the situation. Rei shot Tenshi a subtle glare. He couldn't decide if Tenshi's presence made the situation better or worse and neither could I, "Sensei, you're enjoying this too much." “Is it really okay for a teacher to be in an onsen with your student?” I added on.

Tenshi chuckled at your question, finding his bluntness amusing. I leaned back against the hot spring, his arms resting on the edge, "Technically, it isn't against school policy. And you two are almost adults,” He paused, his gaze flickering between me and Rei, "Plus, I was just taking a night stroll. I didn't exactly plan to stumble upon you two in a private onsen together." I leaned back, “me neither,”

Tenshi's eyes flickered to my body, and for the first time, he seemed to notice the scars and cuts littering my skin. His usually impassive expression shifted, a hint of concern slipping through. He studied the cuts and scars, his voice unusually soft, "Those...Those are quite a few scars, aren't they?"

“Oh these? Are you disgusted?” I asked as I looked over my body. Tenshi's eyes flickered over my scars again, his expression softening a bit, "Disgusted? No." He paused, his voice quieter, "Concerned, maybe... but not disgusted. at least now I know why you wear long sleeve all the time, actually Ayame was the most worried about you,”

I looked up in surprise, “Hayashi-san?” *Tenshi couldn't help a small smile at the mention of Ayame. "Ayame cares a lot about you, you know? She always asks if you're okay, if you're eating well, that kind of thing." He paused, his voice gentle, "She'd be devastated if she saw those scars." Rei however was confused, "whose Ayame?"

But me and Tenshi continued the conversation, not even acknowledging Rei's confused question. Wd seemed focused on the topic at hand, "You should know, she really is worried about you. She can see the walls you've built around yourself, the way you shut people out, and it breaks her heart." Rei's confusion grew, his irritation rising at being ignored. But he stayed quiet, listening to Tenshi and me continue the conversation. He didn't know who this "Ayame" was, and the fact that he was left out of the loop was starting to bother him.

Tenshi wanted me to listen and pay attention to his words closely, "Yes. You're keeping everyone at arm's length, isolating yourself from those who care about you. And it's not healthy, you know that, right?" I then smiled at him, “well, I’m rather happy about the people in my life right now,” Tenshi couldn't help but soften at my smile. It was rare to see me looking genuinely happy, and it made his heart feel warmer, "I'm glad that you're happy with the people close to you now. That's important. But don't forget...It's okay to lean on others, you know? You don't have to shoulder everything alone all the time."

…

After the bath me and Rei decided to go home together, Rei walked alongside me, a bit flustered after the whole encounter with Tenshi in the onsen. The cool night air felt a bit refreshing after the hot spring, but there was also a tension in the air. He glanced at me, his voice a bit uncertain, "so…whose Ayame?" I chuckled at the question.

Rei's irritation flared a bit at my chuckled response. He was expecting a straightforward answer, not a chuckle, "Hey, don't just laugh. I asked a question. Who the hell is Ayame?" “a troublesome woman that’s who she is,”

Rei looked even more confused, his irritation growing. I wasn’t giving any proper explanations, and it was starting to get on his nerves, "What do you mean "a troublesome woman"? And why the heck did Sensei mention her being worried about you?"

“She’s Sensei’s ex-wife,” Rei felt like he'd been hit with a surprise brick. He wasn't expecting a revelation like that. "Sensei's...ex-wife? Wait a moment, let me get this straight. Your teacher's ex-wife is worried about you? Why the hell would his ex-wife care about you?" I sighed at that, “it’s a lot,”

Rei could sense my reluctance to elaborate, but he wasn't about to let me off the hook that easily, "No, you can't just drop a bombshell like that and end it there. You've got to give me more details than that. Why is Sensei's ex-wife worried about you? And how do you even know her?"

I looked over at him before giving him a soft smile, “come on, walk me home first,” Rei huffed, clearly still annoyed by my evading answers, but he knew me well enough to know that pushing too hard wouldn't get him anywhere, "Fine. I'll walk you home. But along the way, you're gonna tell me everything. No more dodging questions." He fell into step beside me; his eyes fixed on me the entire walk.