Chapter Text
It felt as if he was in a nightmare.
Asmodeus had gotten exactly no sleep for the last two days and nights, sleeping on a pile of rocks.
However, the lack of sleep wasn't the problem, but the person that still hasn't yet set foot back into their shared home. Fizz was still nowhere to be seen for two days now, and it felt as if someone stabbed him in the chest, and pushed his dick into his ass.
In a bad way.
The last time he'd seen him, Fizz was out of his mind mad for what he did at Mammon's office.
It was also the same thing that had haunted him in his dreams for months and months on end.
It felt horrible for him.
Ozzie had been all over the place, and it was affecting everything going on in his life. Food consumption went out the window(Though he was pretty sure that he didn't need it.)
He already put the club on temporary hiatus, closed until further notice, and just about everything that was going on in his life went to a complete stop, being drained out of doing anything but finding him.
The only thing that most definitely stayed on his mind was just how much he fucked up in any way possible, in the worst way that could be possible.
Right now, the only thing that was on his mind was on fucking Fizzarolli.
Ozzie had looked everywhere for him the minute he convinced the driver to come up his senses and to go back and get him. By the time that he got back there, he was already gone.
So, very obviously, Mammon was on the hit list next.
Surprisingly and very sadly, Mammon also had no fucking clue to where he could be at. It only made him more worried about Fizz, and all he wanted to do was try to find him as soon as possible
It was only after searching most, if not all the rings of Hell, asking around anywhere he could, and spending two nights sleeping horribly, and not getting an ounce of anything going on around him, that he knew for as fucking sure that Fizz wasn’t in the mood to be searched for.
Or found anytime sooner.
That broke Ozzie's heart.
It hurt to know that Fizz was so mad at him for him to not return home, to not answer any of his calls, texts, or whatever way he tried to reach him, and to only pull farther away again.
Even though he got why he was pissed, and for very good reason, he wanted to make sure that Fizz didn’t get kidnapped, or anything like that.
It wasn’t that hard, right.
Ozzie would admit with and by every account that he had within him, that he fucked up in 100 million ways left, right, front and center, and that had putted Fizz in danger.
He wanted to take the whole fucking night away from his mind, and burn it into the deepest part of his mind.
Oh, how he wished that he could do that.
That would be saved for the far to distant future, as he didn’t even feel like trying to-
Knock Knock!
It shook him for a good second, and that was the second that he needed to be rushing out to the gates to the elevator, hoping that who he thought was standing there, waiting for him to give him all the sweet cuddles and sex for a whole year!
… That was until he reached the gates and the elevator opened, and to only see his main assistant, Grace at the elevator instead, holding onto her clipboard and her business attire like it was her second lifeline, keeping it more tightly onto her body than normal.
“Oh, Hello Grace.”
The disappointment in his voice was even sadder than not seeing who he wanted to see there. Ozzie tried to shake it away to the best he could. It was better to not think about it than to stare at it in the eyes.
No other introduction was said, as she went back to her clipboard, barely looking up to see how sad the sin looked. “I’ve looked over the whole perimeter and area of the whole Lust ring three more times, and there was no sight of him anywhere. I sent another squad to look over the other rings, but were still waiting on the results.”
Silence was the best thing that Ozzie could do, and just nodded.
“Besides that, the club has still been on hold for the absence/disappearance of Fizz, but the public doesn’t know about that, and won’t for as long as he is gone. It will stay that way until we do find him, or if he appears at our front door step.”
‘If only he did that a few seconds ago…’ Ozzie thought as he went back to Grace’s voice.
There was a quick pause in her voice, before her voice went to life again. “Finally, with the patrol going around to see if we can find him, keeping the club in limbo until he returns in the hopeful distant future, at least of what we're going from…are you okay?”
The sin looked up now, seeing the serenity on her face, not a single thing misguided for him to not mistake it for anything else.
It caught him off guard.
“Of course I’m fine.” Ozzie popped his voice in quickly, but Grace only lifted her eyebrow, clearly not convinced by his choice of words.
Asmodeus took a breath in. “Seriously, I’m just worried for his safety, and I’m trying to make sure that no one can get to him. That’s all.” Her eyebrow stayed lifted; the glare not leaving his sight or her face. It would have made him flinch, but he had seen worse.
Doesn’t matter, it told him that she wasn’t at all convinced at what he was saying.
The silence was like pressing into a damage and bleeding wound, one that was getting tenser by the minute. Ozzie could feel his breath getting more shallow by the minute, and felt his jaw tighten.
“May I come in?”
Again, the sin was backpedaled by her offer, however didn’t reject her offer to let his assistant into the complex, the big golden elevator doors closing behind them as they walked away.
‘Fizz always loved that elevator..’ The thought came through from the back of his mind, but dismissed the thought just as quickly.
“Grace, its not that serious for you to be here. I told you that-” The simple whip of her head at him, staring in his direction with her hair doing an extra flip made him shut his mouth up just as rapidly as he started to talk.
She wasn’t fooled by whatever he was saying, and they both knew it.
“Uhuh-Don’t be playing dumb with me Ozz. I know that you are suffering here. The reek of no sex and ice cream is ferocious, and the half burger stained couch is very easy to notice.” Asmodeus was all quiet, and said if at all anything that could make her not believe in what she saw.
Though he didn't know everything about his assistant, what he did know was that she was smarter than what he could give her for, and that she could pick up on many things like she was a detective on a hot-wire.
Pretty badass to Ozzie if he said so himself.
He left is eyes dart back to the state of the penthouse, to the stained burger that remind him of Fizz, and to the glare eye stare that his assistant had to give out on to his dinner plate, Asmodeus didn’t know which one was worse: Knowing that she was right on to how he was feeling, or that it made him feel worse for what he did to Fizz.
Ring! Ring!
The single buzz of his phone might have saved him from talking, since both he and Grace were startled out of what psychological thing that they were doing on one another, and it gave it enough time for him to grab it and to move to the master bedroom.
As he walked, if he had his wishful thinking cap on, it would have been Fizz, calling him in a safe place and telling him that he was okay, that he was ready to go home into the comfy bed that he had grown to love.
So he was Immediately crushed as he read the caller ID.
Lucifer
It made his heart wail out in pain, but he still clicked the answer button anyway.
…After he had to take a few breaths of reassurance.
“HEEEEY OZZIE! It's been a minute since we talked about anything and…everything actually. That doesn’t matter, how have you been doing?” Luci’s cheerful and VERY chaotic voice echoed through the phone and into the empty room.
It made him smile a bit.
“I’ve been doing fine, Luci.” The lie went straight through his teeth, acting optimistic to him so that he wouldn’t be guessing otherwise.
It had Ozzie also guessing otherwise that he was as fine as day.
The laugh on the other end calmed whatever nerves that were still there. “Well that’s good! Glad to hear that everything has been doing great for you! Everything has been going crazy lately, and I’m glad that you're not in the chaos of it.”
… What Chaos?.. Know what, he’ll ask about that at a later date.
“Thanks for the check-up, but why are you calling me? Is it for something important?” As he said that, Ozzie heard the elevator doors closed with its usual ding. When Ozzie peaked his head out of his room, he saw that his assistant was already out of the apartment, with no trace of her even being there at all.
That was good for him, as he didn’t feel like answering any more questions.
“Not toooooo much of anything really.” The boom of Luci’s voice brought Ozzie back to his phone. “I had just wanted to let you know that we’re going to have a Deadly Sin meeting today.” Ozzie back tracked from looking around to completely back on his device.
Ozzie felt that his world was shutting down all over again.
“What do you mean today?? It hasn’t even been a month since we had our last one.”
“Yeah… I know, but crazy things have been happening that needed the attention brought upon it… especially with what happened the last time we met up together at your club.” The noticeable change of tone was clear in Lucifer as he spoke, but Ozzie couldn’t care any less for it.
After a quick second pause, it went straight back to the King of Pride, “Anyway, I hope you don’t mind the sudden change of plans.”
“No, not at all.” Ozzie said through gritted teeth, and he felt his eye twitch for a good millisecond. The air in the room became dense with the smell of regret, sadness, loneliness, and now a bitter taste of sucking it all in and pretending that it was all fine.
He didn’t want to do that, but he didn’t have any other choice, did he?
On the other end, he heard a small victory party on the other line, one that was completely oblivious to what he felt through him.
“That’s great! The meeting will be in the next three hours. See you soon!” Asmodeus didn’t have a chance to direct or reject anything that could have been said, as the phone line went dead only a few seconds later.
…..
…
..
Fucking FANTASTIC!
It was already bad that he couldn’t find the ONE person that he was searching for in and out, now he was forced to be stuck in a meeting that he didn’t want to be in, alongside with the person that he hated the most, and to still not have Fizz by his side throughout all of THAT..
This just couldn’t get any worse, now, could it?
•~~~•~~~•
Never fucking mind, it got even more worse!
“Come ONNN! All I’m saying is that I want to expand on Lu Lu World! It needs the pizzazz touch to it!”
“Does that mean adding more green to it, because the lack of it would be better than more.”
Mammon looked at Bee with one of the worst scowls they had seen on him
“Oh shut up Bee! You have no clue how to make the big bucks, unlike you and your Cotton Candy addiction!”
“How dare you!”
"Please Mammon, we don’t want to hear you complain right now. Your voice is more annoying than a high pitch scream.”
Bee tapped him on the shoulder, and whispered in his ear:
“Save it Satan, nothing is getting to his pea brain head.”
“Wha-HEY!”
This was the pain that Ozzie was going through as he sat at the very long table that stretched out to both ends in one of Luci’s extra spared rooms.
It was giving him a nasty headache that he didn’t know how to get rid of.
Asmodeus didn’t even want to be here to begin with, and if it was at the very least had an ounce of importance, maybe he would have give more than two fucks with it.
However, he knew that he regretted even getting out of the penthouse and sulking his eyes out once he sat down in the room designated for meetings, and immediately heard the beginning rants of Mammon and Bee, silent snores, bitching, and nothing happening at all.
NOTHING!!!
He could have video called the whole meeting, had sex with Fizz during the whole thing, made breakfast, lunch and dinner, and he would still have missed NOTHING that happened.
It was a complete waste of time, and the kind where Ozzie didn’t want to be sitting in.
Clearly, he was probably the only one that got the hint of it(maybe also Levi, and most definitely Luci, but he couldn't care less), as everyone else was bickering to the utmost degree.
Like he thought, just straight up pain that he just didn’t have the time to hear out-
“Ozzie? Are you still there?”
Asmodeus snapped out of whatever thoughts he would have thanks to the hand that rested on his shoulder. It was Bee, who had stopped fighting with the green blob thingie, who was now picking a fight at Satan.
“Oh! Uh…y-yeah! I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” The look Bee had was like someone was piercing through his soul, but she didn’t question or say anything to Ozzie.
He was thankful for that.
“Man, all I can think of is how to squash Mammon into multiple squared pieces or something,” Hearing Bee say this took some nerves that was in his chest to a relaxing state. Ozzie chimed in into the conversation with a hushed whisper. “Yeah, I get exactly what you mean.”
“What’s the meeting for anyway? Cause all I see is a man-child arguing over nothing, and everyone else taking it all in.” Was Ozzie’s next question, looking back to what Mammon was doing.
He was busy flirting with Levi, with only one side of her head wanting to hear what remarks or god awful flirts that he was dishing out.
The darker purple side shuddered at it, as did Ozzie along with her.
Bee only sighed, pushing his focus back to her. “I wish I knew, but from what we were looking at, it’ll be just a sick man-child tantrum for us to behold our eyes-”
“Ahem. Oy, what ya [HONKS] talking about?!” They both turned their many heads and eyes to the source, seeing Mammon busy again with Satan while looking at the two, stacks of money in all four of his hands.
It only seemed that his legs injury gotten better with healing, but they still looked fucked up as they did two days earlier. His business style didn’t change one bit, wearing a tuxedo with all types of green, and having many fidgets and kink knacks around his whole area.
His expression only said smug and sass all over it, and if he wasn’t all worried and sad for Fizz, he would have been almost intimidating.
Only then did he realize that he was still in the fucking wheelchair, and that made it fucking funny again.
“Nothing, you old hag! Go back to fanning your faulty riches around!” Ozzie couldn’t contain the giggle, and that only fired up Mammon’s ever lasting fuel tank.
“HEY, YOU LISTEN HERE-”
Everyone stopped with whatever they were going to say once the hard slam of a hand came through to them. All the sins turned to the sound, with it being Lucifer at the head of the table, looking cheery and pissed at the same time.
“Alright, I know you all like to bicker around, but we still have a meeting to get through.” Luci’s sternness was there on mid-blast, looking at all of them, and especially at Mammon. Even through his cheery attitude, everyone at least grasped that it was business that they were talking about now.
It stayed in a silence, but it was only for a beat, as Luci went back to a more kind of smiley stern type of mood, but still managed to be goofy. “As for why I summoned all of you here, I was wanting to discuss what happened at Ozzie’s club a couple of weeks ago, along with some of Hell’s more dire issues-” Whatever sentence Lucifer had was gone with Mammon speaking up
“Damn right we should bloody talk about that! That fucker-” Mammon’s finger went to where Ozzie and Beelzebub sat peacfully at. “-broke my fucking legs! Now I’m stuck in this stupid tiny [HONK] wheelchair!!”
The ability to stiff his laughter was there, but it was more of pure anger and frustration.
“..Well, Mammon..” Bee was next to speak up in her place. “He had every fucking right to get at you. You was visibly taking advantage of-”
“Someone that I fucking OWN, with my own fucking hands! I had every right to laugh and say whatever to the little [HONK]! Isn’t that right Satan?”
The Wrath sin nodded his head, however he didn’t look like the conversation was any of his time.
Ozzie just sat there, not wanting to speak up, or be reminded of how he fucked up everything. Fizz wasn’t anywhere, nowhere to be found. It was gnawing at his inner core, making his heart painful as it was walking on tiny sharp needles.
From where his eyes darted to escape hearing the five people next to him arguing over what happened, his gaze landed on Lucifer’s face. His expression was in a goofy smile, like it would usually be in.
Ozzie knew better than that.
It wasn’t forced, but it also wasn’t reaching his eyes. The King’s eyes then fell into his green ones, and for a quick second, his whole face changed into…sadness?
The glance lasted for a quick second, as when he blinked, it was right back to that goofy smile that they all grew up seeing on him.
‘Weird,’ Ozzie thought, but was pulled right back when a hand was slammed on the table again.
“I don’t give two fucking shits over what yall fucks are talking about. I deserve a fucking apology and a repairment to my damages!” Mammon was screaming at this point; his voice taking up most of whatever they were saying up to this point.
Levi actually laughed, at least her dark purple side did, while her lighter counterpart remained silent, but was trying to keep in her laughter. “Mam, that was weeks ago. Get over it! I don’t think anyone gives two fucks about it!”
“Shut the fuck up Levi. Until you get smashed by your sibling and crumpled up into pieces, I don’t want to hear it.”
Ozzie finally made his voice known, mainly to Bee, as he scoffed under his voice.
“Pay to fix yourself, dumbass.”
As immediate as it was to say it, was all it took for the whole table to lose its edge, and for everyone to be more quiet than a hoard of crickets.
Ozzie would swear that you could hear a pin drop if you really wanted to.
“....What the fuck did you say?” Mammon’s voice roared with bitterness all around, and he swore that he saw his nose crinkled from the steam coming out of him.
“I said..” Ozzie spoke up again, looking Mammon right into his pure and sour green eyes, and found every right to hold a stern look into his face.
“Pay to fix your fucking limbs.”
The silence was the only thing that wasn’t taken over by his and Mammon feud, and it stretched on for a good couple of seconds.
It was followed by laughter, silent at first, but grew to be mad and hysterical.
Pure chaos came after that.
The Greed sin was practically setting whatever he touched ablaze, steam and fire coming out of his face, making his skin all sorts of reds and oranges that didn’t compliment with what he was wearing. Ozzie felt a little nudge, but couldn't even respond to that before Mammon was in his face.
“Oh! You think that since you're the younger-”
“Older brother.”
“-that just means that you can fucking cut in and make fun of me for something that YOU did!” Mammon was screaming again, but Ozzie could look more than fazed.
After worrying about Fizz for two days straight, that was all that could occupy his mind.
“I’m just saying, seeing that you have all those golden things, including those thick golden doors, you could at least spare it to fix yourself.”
Blood vessels were popping out of his forehead as he spoke, and he caught his eye twitching at him.
“I’m not spending any of MY HARD EARNED MONEY for something that should have never happened. I had every right to say whatever the fuck to him!”
“In my establishment, did you forget? Yours for not, it was not only in a working environment, but it was making him uncomfortable already-”
“Oh shut ya mouth Ozzie!”
He was running out of solitude and patience for this man.
“Mammon, can you shut it?! You shouldn’t have done that in the first place. Besides, didn’t you have a co-agreement in place for Fizz?” Bee’s voice filled in the room, apart from the two twins. Mammon, who just looked completely dumbfounded not even a few seconds ago, was back in his complete rage era.
Then, one evil smirk dawned on his face, like he won the fucked up lottery.
Ozzie knew that look anywhere; he wasn’t going to like whatever was about to come out of his mouth.
“Hmm..speaking of our dear Fizzi,” Mammon soothed with venom on his tongue, looking right in Asmodeus’s nonexistent eyes.
“… Where is he exactly, Asmodeus?”
Ozzie felt his own eye twitch this time. He didn’t have a comeback, or else it would end in his head smashed in the table.
A gentle hand squeezed his at the same moment, and tried to give a smile off to Bee, but it didn't reach any of his head’s emotions.
Finally, in a steady voice, at least he thought was steady with his mind going wild, he said, “He...he’s at the penthouse right now.”
“Oh really? Wasn’t you asking me the other day if he was with me? I can’t recall the full reason why??…” Mammon’s smugness was in full kick and drive, setting home in Ozzie’s thoughts, which was running wild.
Why was he bringing Fizz up here? Yeah, they were talking about him, but it was more of Mammon and his fucked up legs and not of Fizz exactly.
Yeah, it was Ozzie’s fault for going mad overdrive and breaking his legs to mushy pieces before Bee and Levi pulled him off and to run to Fizz’s aid, but Mammon deserved for what he did to Fizz.
What mattered in his head was that Mammon was lucky to be stuck in a place where three other people could save him.
“Wait, now I remember why! You fucked up and left him to defend for himself!”
Another stab to the heart. Bee’s grip was more firm on his hand, so he looked in her direction. Her eyes told him enough for him to stay calm, but his mind and heart was at a battle of what to do.
All the while his anger and guilt was starting to seethe over his top hat.
He hated that Mammon caught notice of it, and his smirk widened even larger.
“I’m surprised at you Ozzie! I think you being around that stupid little freak has made you all soft and gushy over the past few months. You would never care about any stupid jester the way you care about him.”
One more stab to make it funnier to the sin he was about to pounce on, he guessed.
“But you had to fuck it up with him, which is fucking hilarious to me! No matter how many bitch ass promises you made to him, which I bet is a shit ton, you can barely promise his safety at the very end.”
…
…
Everything that was in the room didn’t matter to him anymore.
Ozzie felt the sting of his eyes, and knew that tears were following their way out. He tried-no WANTED to shut them away, knowing it was going to fall under Mammon’s claims, however, they wouldn’t go away.
Maybe he was right? Maybe he was becoming soft for Fizz, and whatever Mammon was saying was true.
Ozzie would have never cared for his brother’s words(They barely made shit sense anyway), but these felt like bringing an angelic blade to his heart and stabbing it to pieces over and over again.
“That makes total fucking sense though. You have been all cuddly and goo-goo eyed at him.”
Ozzie didn’t need to hear anymore to know that tears were streaming down his face.
Like, A LOT were coming out of his eyes.”
“See what I mean, you're fucking crying over him! It makes you look pathetic, worthless, and all the fucking above. I can’t fucking wait for him to be with me again, just so that you can grow a fucking pair of wings-”
The sin felt the anger rush like a brain freeze on overdrive.
SMACK!!
It all happened so fast.
He didn’t remember getting out of his seat, him blowing out hot blue fire from his mane, or the desperate tries of Bee and Levi to keep Ozzie from flipping over the table with all of their might.
The only thing that registered to him was punching Mammon right in the face, and repeatedly punching his face before he left the glistening of magic that pulled him off of the table and away from him.
“Didn’t know you needed it that bad, I see." Ozzie turned his head at Lucifer, who was stiffing back a few giggles from the look on his face. The flash of embarrassment was quickly overshadowed on Ozzie’s face, but he didn't dare try and hide for cover.
“Yeah, well, I really needed it I guess.” He mumbled but not too quiet that Lucifer couldn't hear. Another giggle went out his mouth while he also took it down of the drink that was in front of him.
It was solid for a moment as the two of them kept on drinking their respective glasses. They didn’t really want the silence more uncomfortable than it already was. Ozzie’s head was going a million miles per second once again, but he tried not to think too hard about it, and just kept on drinking his drink.
It was the only thing that he could physically do that didn’t result in his mind shattering to a million pieces.
When his drink was all finished he said it back down with a soft thud. He wanted to put his head down so bad, but he also knew that well he couldn't.
Lucifer was mad at him; it was only a way to hurt the punishment on his behalf.
“… So Ozzie-”
“Just let me hear it already…” Lucifer took a quick pause from not being able to finish his sentence and turn to look at Ozzie's way, but couldn't really see his face as the sin was hiding it from his peripheral vision.
“Ozzie, what are you-”
"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Go at it! Let me hear how I know I shouldn’t have had punched Mammon… I know I shouldn't have been mad, and I know that it's my fault okay! I don't need to hear small talk I know you're mad at me just let me hear it already I deserve it…..I deserve it all.”
Ozzie knew that this was 100% completely out of character for him, as he wasn't really to be in a yelling while crying mess, but god-damn it he deserved it right now! Small talk wasn’t about to cut it through how much he was feeling right now.
“Like I said I feel like….like fucking shit right now. I feel like absolute shit. I know that I shouldn’t have done that …. Just have it yell at me! I don't know say something mad about me! Please! Mammon right about what he said, wasn’t he? I'm a freak, I'm pathetic, I'm worthless! I COULDN’T KEEP THE ONE FUCKING PERSON THAT I CARE ABOUT SAFE!!!”
Lucifer didn't speak at all; he just watched Ozzie going on in this completed rant. It startled the daylights out of him.
However, he didn’t say anything and just watched on in pure shock.
The silence returned once again, shorter than the last one as he felt a hand rest peacefully on his shoulder.
“Ozzie that wasn't what I wanted to say…”
The sin’s body tensed at the contact, but tried to hide it.
“I'm not mad at you,” Lucifer’s voice sounded controlled, and a nervous wreck trying his best to help. “I just noticed that your whole demeanor has been…off.”
‘No shit Sherlock!’ Said the voice in his head, but he didn't dare say it out.
“But I wanted to talk to you about what's been going on, because from the looks of it you need the alcohol and you need to have a conversation about it.” The sternness was back again, his voice not wavering for even just a moment to make sure Ozzie got the memo pretty fucking clear.
Which he Abso-fucking-lutley did.
Just as the sin could start to think another glass of alcohol was shoved his way, the same kind as before but a little hint of want Lucifer used to make when he when they live back in the humble abode. He easily downed another glass he before putting his head down onto the table.
Ozzie let out a breath that he didn’t know that he was holding.
“It's just I fucked up Lucifer. Like… I really fucking fucked up…it's a long story. You don't want to hear it-
“No it's not. As far as I can see, it's eating you alive. I know you're way longer than anybody else around here, and you know me longer than everyone in hell!” Ozzie flinched at his words, moving the hand from off his shoulders.
Lucifer took another deep breath, trying to put his own nerves at rest. “Sorry! Sorry! I know you feel horrible, but talking things out can sometimes make you feel less…shitty. If it helps me out, it might be able to help you. If that’s hard enough, just…. Just try and talk to me okay?” Lucifer kept on talking to him, while his head was like a freaking ping pong ball, bouncing and bouncing off the walls all over again.
Even though Ozzie wanted to project, to disagree with his words on all the occasions… he also knew that they were very, very, very true
If there was anyone he could talk his ear off too for as long as it was going to take, it was going to be the one that has been with him for the very longest of all time.
He finally let his shoulders fall to the table, and he let his head fall into them.
“…. Well…I let Fizz down. When Mammon told me he was taking Fizz back a few weeks ago, I was just so shocked about it all that I just never got around to tell Fizz. I meant to tell him this whole time, so many times, but so much stuff has happened, and shit has gone down the fan so much has happened the last couple of weeks I just….never had that thought to tell him until it was too late.”
He could feel the tears coming to his eyes once again. He couldn't hide them as much as he wanted, but they fell into the comfort of his shoulders. His voice grew hoarse and raspy as he continued to talk
“When the meeting day arrived, I was so scared since I knew what was going to happen. That didn't mean that it hurt less the day when I first found out…. I sat still… I couldn't move. Everything was just crumbling around me all over again and…and seeing his face hurt more than anything. Not only was he going back with that fucking rich fucker, and also prove that the motherfucker was right, but I couldn't even do anything about it. I couldn't say anything, not a single sound came out.”
As more tears started to fall, he felt the hand on his back again. He shoved it away from him, as he didn’t want to feel any type of comfort.
He just didn’t felt like he deserved it.
“Then we had the argument in the car and that was a whole other can of worms, but I tried to defend myself. I knew that I was completely in the wrong, but I still tried anyway. Guess where THAT fucking led me to.”
“It's my fucking fault Lucifer…. It's my fault that I didn't do anything beforehand. It's my fault that I made him so upset that he would just…leave without any protection, without calling me, without telling me he's okay….I just, can forgive myself over it.”
“…Mam was right about those things, wasn’t he?” He said as he took another gulp of the alcohol glass that was sitting right at front, looking at him with the same shame that he felt already. “I’m worthless. I’m pathetic. I feel horrible just knowing that he could be dead, he could be fucking unalive. He could be ANYWHERE!”
“At the end of the day, I will have no idea because I was so…so fucking stupid. I was fucking stupid…I should said something! I should have been honest! Now I have no fucking clue where he's going.…I don't know if I'll ever be able to find him…. I don't know if he would ever have the heart to forgive me.”
Ozzie let out one final sigh. “… I don’t think I have the right to forgive myself…”
The sobbing was more reckless and frantic, more hard than anything he ever felt before.
Ozzie never cried.
He tried to keep from crying unless it was very important or very sad, and this just feel like the right moment to cry his particles out. The rest of what was in the glass was gone when he gulped down his drink; just the kicking of the alcohol feeling good in the system. He never got this off with the wine that he had, but with the alcohol Luci made he was going to drink his talking away.
It didn't stop the crying, but it would make him forget.
Make him forget how he blew it all to the ground.
It was silent again, and right now he wanted it to stay that way. Less he was reminded of his mind racing at every heartbeat that was still getting to him.
“….I get that,” Lucifer said so silently, it could have been mistaken for a cricket. Silent enough for if anyone can hear him it would be barely illegible. Ozzie knew exactly what he said, though. “I know what it feels like to be thrown across the room; to feel guilty over something that you caused and make it worse for others.”
The frantic crying was slowed to an almost stop. Ozzie let some more tears fall, but his muscles tensed up again without warning, and he turned his head just enough to catch a glimpse of his brother. Lucifer continued on.
“Felt that guilt ever since I fell… I felt that ever since I saw you all fall along with me. For millennia, I felt like that from what I did, I made you all lose all your chances of having a greater life. You, Bee, Mam, … Lilith. All of you could have a greater life, not one stuck in this miserable place. I felt it for so long…”
The sin lifted his head from where he was crying and look to see Lucifer also crying along with him. Not as fucking dramatically he was doing a few minutes ago, but still crying. Something that Ozzy never really seen out of him before.
It made him want to tear up all over again
Lucifer composed himself more, before he went on again. .“Yeah, Fizz has every right to get frustrated on you since you lied to him and that he was leaving you.” Ozzie grimaced at himself and let his head drop back into the counter. “BUT! That doesn't mean that he's not going to forgive you, and it doesn't mean that he's going to leave you forever.”
As he turned up to look at him again, sipping on the drink watching him waiting for a response.
“I've seen him and even though I don't really know him a lot, I see the look of his eyes when he looks at you, the way that he got excited to see you both of the times that I interacted with him. Fizz doesn’t hate you like he does with Mammon. Yeah, you got into an argument and you both fucked up, but who doesn’t? Everyone that you have ever met has at least one fuck up in their lifetime.”
The room was silent, but for once in the last two days, Ozzie felt a laugh come out of his throat so sad it felt giddy, and Lucifer had a smile cracked up on his face.
“Do you really mean it?”
“… Yeah, I meant that with my life.”
A little laugh escape Ozzie’s mouth. He rested his hands on the table, and now looked at him fully. “Also fuck Mammon! Don't listen to your younger brother, he’s just mad that you're taking his prize possession away from him, and he wants to get back at you for it. It amazes me that for everything that he’s saying to you can also be applied to him.”
“I wouldn't be surprised if he's taking up all of his anger at himself and transferring it over to me.”
Both of them gave big heartfelt belly laughs across the table, the alcohol long forgotten for just laughing the moment away.
Another smile appeared on Ozzie’s face, and the tears started to blow away. Suddenly, a box of tissues appeared out of thin air, and he blowed into it, seeing the green snot transferring to the cloth.
They both looked at it and laughed even more, not quite really annoying whatever they laugh or not but they couldn’t really care
And honestly? If Ozzie was REALLY thinking about it, he felt kind of better, actually. Yeah he fucked up, but everybody fucks up right? It's not just him as he thought he was, but he himself fucked up at least a couple of times in his life.
This was the first that really affected him to a painful degree.
He shook that thought away, and instead looked his brother who had pulled him out of this dumps eyes.
“You really, really mean that Luci?”
“Of course I mean that Ozzie. Listen I will not imagine this as anything other than just something to fix in a relationship. I would never forget about the shit I did. That's for certain. It's about how you can grow off of it, and mend what you fucked up, and to make it better. Unlike me, however, you have a chance to mend off of this, and to make things right.”
Lucifer took his hands into the sin’s, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Just know that I’m always here for you, no matter what shit you do, okay?”
Ozzie already knew that would be his answer, but to hear the validation is his head with hope in his eyes made his own glossy again, and heart doing summer salts and backflips.
“Also that also means, oh, OH-”
Ozzie didn't waste time to pounce on the short king, knocking their asses heavily onto the ground, but it didn't matter to him as he wrapped Lucifer into a tight hug, not wanting to let him go.
The hug made him realize that he was touched starved for any kind of physical contact.
The hug was awkward for only a second as Lucifer didn't waste no time hugging it back sweetly and gently as if he also didn't want to let him go either
“Thanks Luci! Thank you so much. I don't know if I could pay you.”
“I don't know you should, but if you wanted to…” Lucifer looked to have put in some thought to to his answer. A light bulb appeared in his head. “I’ll pay you by beating Mammon’s ass again.”
Asmodeus spitted out laughing alongside Lucifer and stayed in the tight embrace. He felt everything and nothing at the same time, but he did feel better. He felt better knowing that he had someone to talk to about this; someone to talk to about everything he did wrong and the possibility of making things right again.
For right now though, he just sat there tightly bracing his very older brother, never want to let go of it.
•~~~•~~~•
The portal home wasn't very spectacular, but it did help clear his mind from all the things that have been bothering him lately. Once he entered, he saw that the frantic mess was dealt with during his time away.
He knew somebody was up here cleaning, he didn't want to bother on whom.
The sin went past over to the kitchen barely looking at anything else. He almost grabbed the tub of ice cream from the freezer but didn't have the heart to even eat anymore. Besides, he already had a lot of alcohol within him, so he knew it wasn't going to go well if he tried.
So instead he went and grabbed himself a sandwich and water. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to leave a pretty good appetite for him.
He walked back over to where his room was and almost immediately collapsed into it, feeling the warm blankets pulling him into the comfort.
Yet it still felt really stiff knowing that Fizz wasn’t in there to snuggle with him.
But he didn't want anything else, knowing that Fizz will come back on his own, and he was going to fucking wait as much time as possible. Maybe an eternity, maybe a year, maybe a few days, maybe one, it didn’t matter.
He would wait forever just for him to come back home again.
Ding
The sound of his phone brought him back from what he was thinking, and he looked over gradually to see where his phone was it was sitting on the bedside table, looking more fucking peaceful than he ever felt all day.
It was probably Luci trying to check up on him that he got home or Bee trying to make sure he didn't die or maybe trying to pick another fight with Mammon, which he will happily oblige to.
He picked up his phone with his magic and brought it over…
The second the name came up to his eyes, he swore to Lucifer he almost had a heart attack at the mere sight of it.
It was Fizz.
Almost unanimously Ozzie got up and hunched over the bed, eager to tell him when he's coming back, but that all didn't matter right now. All that matter was that Fizz texting him after two days of complete silence.
Two days of complete worry and almost a crash out beating up Mammon, he actually got a response from the gesture.
Ozzie wearily opened the message app and easily waited to hear what Fizz wanted to say.
.+*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*+.
Fizz: Hey Ozzie
I'm not that mad at you no more.
Still somewhat mad at you but not too much.
.+*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*+.
Ozzie felt his heart jumping up in the air doing summer salt of the first sentence. That fell back to the floor immediately when he saw the second message. It wasn't bad. At least he knew he wasn't raging bulls mad at him anymore.
Once Ozzie saw the three dots on the messaging app, he put his focus back to that.”
.+*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*+.
Fizz: I'm staying at Mel's house for a few days so I can compose myself from what happened. I'll text you once I'm ready to talk to you and have the conversation that we both need to have, okay?
Fizz: Talk to you soon.
.+*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*+.
Ozzie didn't know if he was supposed to either feel anything or nothing at the same time. Once he reread the message a couple more times, his thought got into place. Fizz just told him that he was not mad at him, and that he was staying at Mel’s place for the time being.
That was all the confirmation you need to breathe out a sight of God freaking relief
He knew that this was all the Fizz content that he was getting until he came back to the penthouse, and had the conversation he knew was coming, but still dreadful none the less.
Very very necessary but dreadful nonetheless.
Ozzie sent a quick text to him, saying that he got his message, and close the phone because he was very TIRED of looking at people and screens all day, and tired of talking about feels and punching people.
He just wasn’t in the mood for that, and he wanted to drain all the alcohol in his system as fast as possible.
So with the loss of his energy, he closed off the light to the room, but kept it dim, and grabbed one of the stuffed animals that Fizz brought over to make the area more comfy.
Clearly they were doing their job really well.
Then as quietly as he could get, he went into a very dreamless and peaceful softener.
TBC