Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This world holds no meaning when he’s not around.

I’m sorry that I don’t believe you, could you please come back?.

If I kill all those pests, will you be happy?.

Will you forgive me?.

If you can’t come back then I’ll be the one who comes to you.

Even if I have to kill the gods.

Even if I have to be the greatest sinner.

I’ll burn this world and be right back at your side.

Wait for me, Kim Dokja.

The crimson sky.

A loud scream echoing whenever he goes.

Why would he care?.

None of them gave a single piece of mind when his beloved was executed.

No matter how he pleads, all of those people just cover their ears and turn a blind eye.

The injustice he suffered. He will make sure all those people paid for what they’ve done.  For taking his beloved life, for all of those acquisitions, mockeries, humiliations. He will make them pay it a thousand fold.

He is here to make sure of it.

He laughed just looking at their ridiculous faces, how their expressions turn from sour to horror. How they squirm when like roaches, scrambles like ants.

He would never know that doing this is more fun than fighting those barbarians on the border. For the first time after a while he was able to laugh out loud like that. He doesn't know what kind of face he looks like right now. Now he doesn't have his beloved by his side. Why does he have to care about his appearance?. All he knew was he would soon meet his beloved again. Will he be angry? or sad even?, but at least he will give him a reaction right?. He still cares about him right?. Whatever the reaction was at least he cared enough to give him a reaction, if he doesn’t then it all would be meaningless.

Now those dirty pests have paid their debts, it's time for him to meet his beloved.

“I love you”

Yoo Joonghyuk wakes up in a tent he was familiar with.

How? Is this dream?, in his memories he was sure that the cursed empire was ruined. Is this how the after life is? repeating everything he did when he was alive?. Does it even make sense? Although he doesn't believe in the afterlife, this is absurd. He thought he would meet his beloved again after his life ended, why was he trapped in this hell of a camp again?. Yoo Joonghyuk was extremely irritated. If he had to do all this bullshit all over again he's going to make sure that he does this as fast as he can. So he can meet with his Dokja again.

Although this war has never gone easier than before, still he went through this already. He will make sure he gets home fast and freed his beloved from that annoying and disgusting cage named imperial palace.

End this war, go home with victory and ask (force) his Dokja’s moron of a father to hand him for marriage. Even if this was an afterlife or a dream, he’s going to make sure that no mistake will be made. Unlike his stupid self from the past.

It’s been more than seven years, and finally the war has ended. He can finally go home and take his Dokja home with him. There will be no more nuisance, just the two of them. Kim Dokja doesn't have to be the perfect prince any more. Yoo Joonghyuk is going to make sure that Kim Dokja will be safe and sound with him.

Though he isn’t really sure that Kim Dokja wants to go with him after all the things he did not do for him. But he will persuade Kim Dokja to mend their relationship. Better late than never.

The award ceremony went by as usual, but something was weird. His Dokja acted like nothing had happened between them. He doesn’t show any sign of resentment or anything. And all the people in the capital don't remember what he did in the past?.

…did he come back from the future? regression? really?. Isn't that only the theories in the book?.

Come to think of it, if it's just repeating the experience that he had during his life, then he can’t change anything. But he shortened the war duration, changed his strategies, and the award ceremony was more grand than he remembered. Well whatever it is as long as he can meet him, he doesn’t care. For one more chance to meet him, he will repeat this hell called life over and over.

Even if the world crumbled, burned to dust. All he cares about is his existence, if he doesn’t meet him then he will find a way to meet him. His light, his salvation, his everything, a man that is willing to sacrifice the whole world for him. His name is Kim Dokja.

His weak breathing was faintly audible, the damp room only worsened his weak condition. He doesn’t know how long he has been locked here. They never give him any proper meal, they make his body malnourished, only skin and bones remain. The said gods have long abandoned him since he was young, if not how could they make him suffer so much and never get anything for his suffering in return?. They like to play favourites, only care for those who fit their criteria. What mercy? If they really are merciful why would they make all those people suffer in favor of their favourites?. What a hypocrite.

And yet all those blind people still prayed and begged for their mercy. Fools. Pathetic.

He can’t help but want to save them, he wants them to see the cruel truth. To wake them up from their foolish fantasies. Some of them believe in him, but the others choose to condemn him for life.

It’s his fault, they said.

They blame, they curse, they choose cruel fantasies rather than the truth. Anything other than admit that they’ve been abandoned.

And those said gods? They're doing nothing but watch. As if our struggle were a fuckin soap opera.

I condemn you, ALL OF YOU!!. THOSE WHO REFUSED THE TRUTH, THOSE WHO JUST STAND BY AND WATCH. MAY DESTRUCTION BOUGHT UPON YOU!!

Loud cheers can be heard from afar. Those whose cheers were meant to celebrate for the soon to be death cursed man. The very man who said that their gods had abandoned them. Their former most brilliant man on this empire, but now his life has crumbled to dust. 

When they saw the man, he stood on the stage of execution. His complexion was far from good, he looks like an undead. Lifeless eyes, sunken cheeks, thin body. But those eyes radiate an intense hatred to all the spectators. For a soon to be dead man he doesn’t seem to be scared of his life.

His defiance is admirable, if it’s not for his sins all of those spectators will stand there with and scream for his innocence.

The execution was about to begin. The man looks at the sky and whispers, “My death will be proof that this forsaken empire is nothing but a sick fantasy. All of you shall feel the despair that I've been through. May your end will comes” He smiled, the most sincere smile he ever had.

That man was right, the gods had long abandoned them. But they refused to believe it, they thought as long as they were faithful enough their gods would return to them.

That day never came. No matter how long they wait.

And now the destruction that he talked about over and over has come. That destruction was bought by the man's closest confidant.

Nobody knows how that man has the overwhelming power to destroy the whole contingent in one go. People tried to talk some sense into him but none of them worked, only making things worse. Now that man marched to another contingent, he said he is going to make sure that no one on this planet survives his wrath. Innocent or not, all of them never said a thing about his one and only man who loved him dearly.

Now the world has been destroyed.

Then it will happen over and over again.

For that one man who he loved.

This banquet was as boring as he thought it would be. So Joonghyuk tried to find Kim Dokja somewhere in the corner or maybe on the balcony. He always hates crowded places, if he had to attend this kind of event he would retreat to some corner and try to be invincible. Which is kinda impossible because he is the empire's one and only prince. But he does whatever he likes either way, as long as there is no empress in the banquet then he couldn't care less.

He searches every corner, but he doesn't find Kim Dokja. Maybe he is on the balcony, he always takes in some fresh air whenever he feels overwhelmed. Let’s hope that none of those annoying flies go anywhere near Kim Dokja. Well if there is one he could deal with them after he spends his time with Kim Dokja. Yoo Joonghyuk was a man who knew his priorities straight after all.

By the time he arrives at the balcony, there is some pest trying to grope Kim Dokja. HOW DARE HE, even Yoo Joonghyuk never does anything that Kim Dokja didn't want. Lucky him his Dokja kicked him where it should, pfftt… he does hope that man could never use that place again.

Oh… Kim Dokja ran away… how cute. For now he’ll follow him first and deal with that man later.

Kim Dokja just stood on the balcony, this banquet was not meant for him. So he feels kinda out of place. And he never really liked banquets either since he hated crowded places. But it will be rude if doesn't attend it, and he will get scolded by his mother again if he doesn't show his face. It didn't help either when his headache suddenly decided to come. The fresh air did help to ease his headache, that was that until some annoying noble decided to hit on him.

At first he just humor him by giving him a distant smile and nodded. But as time goes on that guy really gets on his nerves. He tried to hold his hand, twine his hand over his waist, and he even tried to kiss him. He always rejected it and tried to be polite about it. But suddenly this man started to whisper something incoherent in his ear. He tried to run by entering the banquet hall but this man grabbed his shoulder so hard that he started to feel pain.

Kim Dokja was done playing nice when this man tried to grope his body. He kicked the man by his 'you know what' and ran away to the garden as fast as he could get. By the time he arrived there was no one there, it's just him and his breathing noise.

He sighed, "finally some peace" he sat down on a nearby bench. He closed his eyes, trying to enjoy the peace. Until he heard footsteps grow closer to him, he wanted to leave that place. Thinking that person was still trying to annoy him. But that person reached his hand and turned him back to face them.

A familiar fragrance, earthly smell of the woods that he always missed all those years. A fragrance that always gives him a sense of safety and comfort. That fragrance only belonged to one person, his long life friend and partner Yoo Joonghyuk. His eyes started to tear up, a sob escaping from his throat. He didn't know how much he missed him until today. So Kim Dokja hugged Yoo Joonghyuk like there is no tomorrow. Tears flowed from his eyes, He thanked god that his Joonghyuk came home safe.

Joonghyuk returned his hug and wiped tears from his eyes. "Shhhh... It's okay, I'm home hyung. I'm here now you don't have to worry about me anymore. Hyung you don't have to cry for me anymore, I'm no longer a weak helpless child that you need to protect". Kim Dokja let go of his hug, and Joonghyuk looked into his eyes. "Why don't you resent me? You were sent to the border because of me. Because I am an incapable prince, I can't even protect you from my mother ". Tears continue to flow down his eyes.

Yoo Joonghyuk gave him a fond look on Kim Dokja's face. "I will never resent you. Not in this life, not in the next life. Even if I had to live in the world without you, I will continue to search for you. You are my soulmate, the only person in this entire universe that can understand me. I can't imagine my life without you". He bumps his forehead to Kim Dokja's, rubs his cheeks softly.

Yoo Joonghyuk's hand strands down to his chins. He rubs Kim Dokja's lips, eying it with a well hidden desire. "Kim Dokja will you be mine?".

Chapter Text

Joonghyuk was waiting for today to come. After years apart from his beloved. He can't stand it any longer, even if he always writes for that person but he never receives a reply. At first he was wondering if his hyung was okay? But later he found out that the empress always read the letters he sent to him. So for some time he decided to tone it down, make the letter as casual as possible. After a while the empress gave up on spying on him through his letters.

How can Joonghyuk know the empress' activities? He simply put a lot of spies in the palace. Whether it's the empress side or the emperor side. He could never trust either of them. Both of them were greedy, for power, money and many aspects in life that could make them stand on the top. Sadly his beloved were put in the middle of their greed. He was so lucky that the emperor decided to give up on his Dokja, so the only obstacle left is that unruly woman.

That woman always makes his Dokja's life a lot harder. Ever since they were a child she always treats Dokja like he is something worthless. She always looked at him with pure hate and rage, even though he never did anything wrong to her. Well he never liked her either, he hated her even more after he found out what she did to his Dokja.

At first he never knew what happened to that hyung of his. He didn't even spare a single glance when he was suffering. But after that major fall out he finally knew that his Dokja was never at fault. It was all that woman's fault, her greed knew no limits she took advantage of everything she had including her own ‘son.’ Dokja became her personal puppet, he never knew what freedom was. So to atone his sins Joonghyuk does whatever it can to give his beloved the freedom he always dreamed of.

He even went to that battlefield so he can make a name and achievements for himself, so he can convince the emperor to give his son to him. Enduring every single day apart from his beloved and all that blood that spilled over pointless wars, he only wants his Dokja to be happy and healthy. Away from that cursed palace. He can give his Dokja save from those prying eyes.

Today he will be given a reward by the emperor. But he couldn't care less, because he will see Kim Dokja again. When he entered the hall his eyes immediately found its way to one and only apple in his eyes. He looks so beautiful, his skin was flawless, those starry eyes he always missed. Everything about him is perfect for Joonghyuk. Now he is wondering how he can endure all those feelings again?.

He greeted the emperor (what a waste of breath), and that old man began spouting some nonsense here and there. His eyes peered at the man standing beside the empress. Then the emperor asked him if he was willing to attend the banquet, the old man asking a useless question, it's not even an invitation but a command. In the deep of his heart he screamed no, but how can he? That will make his goal harder to reach. With a heavy heart he accepted the emperor's invitation, that old man never learned how to cover his emotions.

Then the conversation took a turn to his little sister. The rotten old man expresses that he is grateful that Joonghyuk is no longer a sole survivor in the Yoo family. That he is so lucky to find his sister in one of the empire borders alive then giving a congratulations to his sister for coming back home. 

Actually he always knew that his sister was the only survivor of that incident. But to make her life safe, he decided to hide her existence until he can oppose the empress by himself, since no one knows what scheme she will do. In those years in the war he bonded with Mia, his younger sibling. He even makes sure that none outside the camp know the truth about her existence. Sabotage all those information that were sent to the palace so the empress won't become suspicious.

All that hard work pays off. The empress never knew the existence of his sister, and she stopped checking his letters.

But one thing that made him sad, his beloved stopped reading his letters. All he did was confess his love in one letter and he stopped reading all his letters. Actually it doesn't matter, he finds that behavior cute but he is kinda sad though. He knew one day Kim Dokja will read all those letters, it's just a matter of time.

After the ceremony ended he decided to get the audience of the chamber with the emperor. To talk about his one wish reward that the emperor promised him. The servant who guided him told him to wait in the guest room. Even after four years he could tell that the emperor really liked to make everything about so extravagant. This guest room was a bit excessive, almost all of the furniture there was made of gold and marble. What a way to impress your guest. He wondered how much treasury he used for this.

An hour has passed but that old man has yet to show up, is trying to show that he is more powerful than him?. The old man doesn't even realize that he is soon to be dead. He doesn't even have any legitimate successor yet, what does that small brain of his think? Like he's gonna rule this empire for a hundred years or something?. All he did was fool around with people, men or women, yet none of them gave birth to a successor (since he was set to take his beloved with him, he doesn't want Kim Dokja to be the king so he can have all of Kim Dokja's attention for him). Is the rotten old man infertile or something?.

That old man maybe doesn't realize anything about the empress yet. Well that's understandable since the emperor was a good for nothing and left all this empire administrations to his underling. A foolish and gluttonous emperor and a greedy and cunning empress, what a match made by heaven. 

After a quite long wait, the old man finally came. He had the audacity to give him a lame excuse. This old man had used him for a long time. He will make sure his retirement will be a hellish one. But not yet, he can't offend this man yet. He needs to take Kim Dokja out of this extravagant prison first. Then he will destroy every single one of them, the ones who look down on Kim Dokja.

So he gave that old man a simple smile. Though he is dying to kill this old man inside.

Since he doesn't like fake pleasantries, he gets to the point. "About one wish you mentioned" he took a sip of the tea that had been served before the emperor arrived. The emperor's smile twitches, the old man never learns to control his expressions. "Of course I remember, how can I forget it?" he gave his greasy fake laugh. 

Joonghyuk swears if this man wasn't the emperor he would have crushed his face a long time ago. And he will after securing his Dokja in a safer place. Out of this dirty old man's eyes and hands. If this man doesn't agree to give Kim Dokja to him, then he just needs to take the throne by force. So no one will stand in his way, in his and his beloved relationship.

"I believe this request wouldn't be that hard for you, your majesty," he smiled. The emperor raised his eyebrow, "then tell me what it is. As long as it's not too much or involving people's life". Does this stupid emperor worry about his life or something?. Joonghyuk shakes his head, giving a look of understanding. "How could I take innocent people's life?" He chuckled "this wish could only be granted by you, your majesty". The emperor looks suspicious but he gestures for him to continue.

"Your son, prince Dokja" Joonghyuk looked at the emperor's eyes. The poor old man choked, the look of bewilderment on his face. The old man knew that this young grand duke was a bit nuts, but this is a bit too much. Either he was clueless or caught off guard.

Since the emperor never gave him a proper answer he decided to continue his speech. "Since you never had an intention to give the throne to your son. Why don't you just give him to me?At least I will treat him better at my home than the way he was treated in the palace" he took a sip of tea. He gave the emperor the most convincing smile he ever had.

Silence. The emperor doesn't utter a word.

Of course it's not Yoo Joonghyuk if he doesn't prepare for this kind of reaction. Since this pathetic old man always views Kim Dokja as a mistake, a drunken mistake. But he can do nothing since he doesn't have an heir yet, so he begrudgingly took Kim Dokja as a prince. Even though his mother was only a lowly slave from the netherworld. So Joonghyuk gave a hint to the emperor that he had another heir from one of those women he slept with. “There is this one woman in the southernmost part of the empire who had a son. When I saw her son he surprisingly reminded me of you, your majesty.”

Joonghyuk almost sneered at that old man's face. The only good thing from this old man was his looks when he was younger. Except that he has no talent nor passion whatsoever. He is lucky that he was born from the late empress' womb. Well that luck will soon end anyway. If this old man refused to give his Dokja back to him he had no choice but to forcefully snatch the throne.

Can this old man at least say something?. This is getting annoying.

Fake cough, the emperor looks somewhat nervous. He tried to maintain his composure, but it failed in the end. "You mean you want my son?" Joonghyuk smiled, he nodded. The poor old man was sweating, "I thought you were aware that prince Dokja was one of those pawns of the empress.”

How dare he call his Dokja pawn of that wench. But Joonghyuk couldn't act rashly, not until he got his Dokja back. He chuckled "don't you hate the way empress playing the empire?At least if you gave me the prince she can't take the throne". The emperor flinched, hit by the hook huh.

The Emperor cleared his throat, "let me think about it. You can come back after two weeks" he stood up, looked at Joonghyuk one last time then left.

Banquet, an event where all nobles from the empire gathered in one place. An event that Joonghyuk hates the most. For some reason these nobles keep pestering him about marriage. As if, they are not good enough for him. No one except his beloved Kim Dokja.

Joonghyuk can't find where Kim Dokja is. He excuses himself from those damn nobles. He searched for Kim Dokja in places where he usually stayed during the banquet. Not in the food station, nor the corners, the last option is the balcony. But before he opened the door he heard one familiar fake laugh. The laugh he hated but missed at the same time, it's his beloved voice. Calming and alluring voice. A voice that will make your heart melt, though he is always wondering how he sounds like when he cried out of pleasure. Well sooner or later he will find out about that.

He heard a shuffling sound and before he found out a man grunted from pain covering his pathetic part. His Dokja ran out from the balcony, he looked upset and disgusted. He takes a peek of that man, he needs to remember his face just in case he tries to do something stupid to his (future) wife. Then he followed his cute little Dokja to the garden.

There he is, sitting on a bench looking tired. Joonghyuk approaches Kim Dokja carefully, his wife looks like a frightened little bunny. Yet when he realized that Joonghyuk was the one who approached him his face lit up. Look how cute his wife is, the way he smiles, the way he cries, everything about him is perfect. Though he hated it when he saw him cry, his heart hurt every time Dokja gave him an apology for something he didn't do. In his eyes Kim Dokja could do no wrong. He is the light of his life, seeing he lost his spark is pain full.

He swore on his heart to never make him cry (except for THAT reason). He wiped away those tears, trying to calm him down. He kept whispering reassurance to Kim Dokja's ears and patted his back. His wife began to calm down, only leaving cute little sobs here and there. His little wife wanted to let go of his hug but Joonghyuk just ignored it and kept hugging him like there is no tomorrow.

There was something that really annoyed Joonghyuk. Kim Dokja lost a lot of weight, he almost had no body fat at all. just how bad they stressed him out to make him this thin?. He swore he would make the empress suffer the most. For now let's just focus on his wife in front of him. Let’s make sure that damn old man will give his beloved his deserved freedom, then he can fatten him up. After he fattens Kim Dokja up, he’ll train with him to make sure Kim Dokja has a lot of stamina to match his (He doesn’t really care but he doesn’t want Kim Dokja to get sick easily like he does now).

Now his wife starts rambling about random things, he is still sobbing but who cares? It added to his cuteness. Joonghyuk missed his chattering, he was just talking about those stories that he liked so much. His Dokja was always so pure, even in this damned world his pureness still remains. Well Joonghyuk knows that he is the only one who can see this side of Kim Dokja. His Dokja always looks restless and wary of people. Kim Dokja only smiled at Yoo Joonghyuk, no one but Yoo Joonghyuk.

After a while his wife stopped his rambling and sighed. 

In silence Joonghyuk looked at Kim Dokja. He missed him so much.

Those eyes looked like a starry night. The longer he looked at those eyes the stronger the pull he felt.

He looked at the sky, Joonghyuk didn't know what he was thinking in his pretty little head. But one thing that Joonghyuk knew, Kim Dokja yearned for a better future. The future where no one is suffering. Maybe he isn't as selfless as Joonghyuk portrays him to be. But Joonghyuk never cared. Even if Kim Dokja became the world's worst enemy, he’ll still love him.

Now that Yoo Joonghyuk is back, Kim Dokja has to be more careful in his move. He never wants to take Yoo Joonghyuk into this mess, not after he was sent to war after his carelessness. In this palace everything is seen and heard. For now Kim Dokja pretends to be an obedient prince, he acts like a puppet for the empress. When the time comes he will strike back, he just has to be patient.

By the looks of it people that were positioned by the empress were surrounding them. He has to act weak, in order to fool them that Kim Dokja was still dependent on Yoo Joonghyuk. Like a lover that they believed them to be. Although he felt bad for Yoo Joonghyuk, he genuinely looks excited when meeting him. But Kim Dokja is glad too, that Yoo Joonghyuk comes back safely. Even if Yoo Joonghyuk right now is the strongest man in the empire right now. In Kim Dokja's eyes he is just Yoo Joonghyuk, his childhood friend, his companion.

Though he doesn't want to admit it, this silence is comfortable.

Yoo Joonghyuk knows almost everything about Kim Dokja. Since Kim Dokja prefers this kind of silence, he doesn’t want to break it. But he has to tell this news sooner than later. He takes a deep breath, he whispers the words in Kim Dokja’s ear.

Kim Dokja breath halted. He looked at Yoo Joonghyuk with a look of disbelief.