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English
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Published:
2024-02-22
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1,567
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1/1
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Proxima Centauri

Summary:

V1 had no heart of their own, and maybe that’s why they liked his so much. Maybe that’s why, despite how unnecessary the action may be, they wished they were closer. They wanted to feel it beat against their own chest, to find understanding in that which was fundamentally alien to them.

Notes:

Feast upon the fruit of my procrastination, aka the most egregiously self-indulgent fluff I will probably ever write. I know that V1 loves blood and guns and killing things but what if they want to get all cosy with their favourite person? What if killer robots need love too? What then

Normally I firmly hold the belief that THE HELMET STAYS ON, but I felt like being a little biblically accurate today.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

V1 had never understood why something as inessential as physical contact could be considered beneficial. Time spent idle was fuel wasted, after all - and there was nothing more idle than lying open-eyed in a dark room, carefully watching their partner’s sleeping form. But even they had to admit how they were starting to see the appeal.

Even in sleep, Gabriel held their hand like it was a lifeline. He had tugged their joined hands close to his chest, grip loose and slack. The single point of contact bridged the inches of space between them. Through the thin fabric of his soft nightshirt, V1 could feel the steady thud of a heart at rest. They found themself subconsciously monitoring his vital signs, counting every beat and breath.

V1 had no heart of their own, and maybe that’s why they liked his so much. Maybe that’s why, despite how unnecessary the action may be, they wished they were closer. They wanted to feel it beat against their own chest, to find understanding in that which was fundamentally alien to them.

Turning their head to the other side, V1’s gaze traced the hazy city skyline through the bedroom window. The swirling hues of Lust’s eternal night were peaceful, if a little lonely. There were no stars.

V1’s lack of a voice posed a substantial barrier in their communication. Despite this, Gabriel had somehow known just how much they missed the stars. He had lifted them up on his shoulders, helping them decorate the ceiling in their best approximation of Earth’s night sky. Makeshift constellations composed of stickers and glow-in-the-dark paint littered the surface, the edges of the familiar shapes bleeding down the walls. That day had ended messily (as it turns out, angels can be quite clumsy when they are flustered), but V1 liked the way their stars had turned out.

How do you tell someone you love them, without a voice to speak those words? V1 studied the details of Gabriel’s sleeping face, hoping they would find their answer. Their free hand hovered just shy of touching his cheek.

Do you know that I love you more than anything?

Perhaps he did know. Maybe he knew the reason why V1 so diligently tended to his injuries after they sparred, despite his wounds healing so quickly that the treatment went to waste. Maybe he knew the reason they lay beside him when he slept, even though they didn’t need to rest in the same way he did. Maybe he knew how, for him, even someone as destructive as V1 had learned how to be gentle.

The curtain rustled, disturbed by the night-time breeze. Gabriel shivered at the intrusion, curling his wings more tightly around himself. As delicately as they could, V1 pinched the hem of the blanket and tucked it over his shoulders. He had enough trouble sleeping as it was, without any distractions. Normally, V1 would rise from the bed and close the offending window, but one of their hands was still very much occupied. And honestly? They didn’t mind that he was unwittingly holding them captive. They wouldn’t trade this for the world.

Gabriel started to stir beside them, grip on their hand tightening and then relaxing again.

“Vee,” he murmured, blearily opening his many sets of golden eyes. He blinked a few times, clearing the fog from his vision.

V1 had never cared much for yellow in the past. The same as all other colours, they hadn’t seen how it could be important. But ever since Gabriel had shown them his face, yellow had been their favourite. Every iris was like a miniature sun, laced with patterns that would constantly shift depending on the angle of the viewer. It was mesmerising.

They gave him a little wave, and were rewarded with a soft, tired smile. He squeezed their hand.

“Good morning,” he said quietly, little more than a whisper. V1 wished that they could smile back.

Under the perpetual twilight of a city frozen in time, ‘morning’ was in the eye of the beholder. It was quite evident that Gabriel hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep. At least his nightmares hadn’t been an issue this time. With the silent vigil they had been holding, V1 would definitely have noticed if he’d had one.

They pressed a finger to his forehead, knowing he would understand the gesture for the question it was.

“My dream?”

V1 nodded. ‘Sleep’ for them meant letting the world turn to static for a few hours, allowing their self-repair systems to fully run their course and regenerate any damage that may be lingering. Their sleep was always dreamless. Gabriel was willing to indulge their curiosity, shedding insight on the vivid pictures that stained his mind.

“It was a good one this time. You were there. I don’t remember much else.”

V1 tapped the same finger twice against their own head in response. You’re on my mind too.

Gabriel grinned, just the slightest hint of his jagged teeth peeking through. V1 took the hint from his open arms and scooted over, drawn into a warm embrace. He folded his wings across their smaller body, holding them snug against his chest. V1 combed their fingers through his feathers, and he sighed happily. He always liked it when they did this. They tugged lightly on the loose ones that were ready to fall out, carefully pulling them free.

V1 would forever marvel over how someone could be so warm, in sharp contrast to their own cold and artificial form. They didn’t understand why someone would want to hold them close like this. V1’s body wasn’t soft or comfortable; they couldn’t be in any way pleasant to cling to. But Gabriel loved them enough that he didn’t mind the rough edges.

Slowly, he pressed a cluster of clumsy and sleepy kisses against their face and the top of their head. V1 squirmed a little at the sudden ambush of affection.

They were physically incapable of ‘kissing back’ in the traditional sense, but they certainly had their own way of reciprocating. This wasn’t a conventional partnership, and they weren’t conventional people. They didn’t have to follow the normal rules for this to make sense.

V1 didn’t feel so cold anymore. Warm on the inside. Warm on the outside.

They wriggled their way out of Gabriel’s hold and cupped a hand around the side of his face, tilting him to look at them.

“What is it?” His voice was unbearably fond.

It was evident that they had something on their mind. V1 pointed a finger at themself, watching as he tracked the motion. With the same finger, they traced the outline of a stylised heart on Gabriel's chest.

Do you understand? This means I love you.

Then they kissed him again, as careful and deliberate as the shape they drew. 

This means that I’ll keep you safe no matter what.

Now it was up to him to fill in the blanks. 

Gabriel looked back at V1 as they drew their hand away. He paused for a moment, ruminating on the gesture. Whatever conclusion he drew, he looked awestruck.

“Are you trying to…”

They nodded encouragingly, and Gabriel melted.

“I love you too,” he said, a little shyly. “Did I read that correctly?”

They nodded again, this time eagerly. 

Gabriel rested a hand on his chest. He clutched the space where V1 had touched, where the delicate feeling of their hand still lingered on his skin. He wished it would stay there forever, marking a constant reminder.

“Wow,” he exhaled breathlessly. “I think I need to get this tattooed.”

V1 found it awfully endearing that his first instinct was to immortalise the shape of their wordless confession, to turn it into something permanent. Regardless, they looked at him somewhat skeptically.

“Nevermind,” Gabriel said with a small laugh. “You’re right. A thing like that wouldn’t show up on skin like mine. But my point still stands.”

He offered them the same tender smile that V1 had grown so familiar with, a little lopsided and bleeding sincerity.

“I’m yours. Whenever you need me. Whenever you want me.”

V1 could see themself wanting-and-needing him rather a lot in the immediate future. And in other, more distant futures as well.

They nestled close to Gabriel’s side, resting their head over his heart. He pulled them in, holding them tightly as they studied the gentle rhythm of his pulse. V1 may have no heart of their own, but Gabriel let them near his.

V1 was a machine of war. They were designed with violence as their one universal constant, combat being the only language their creators bothered to let them speak. They were never supposed to find peace or stability. They were certainly never meant to be loved. And yet, V1 had a home they could return to. Against all odds, they had found an unlikely partner who adored them. And for that, V1 considered themself the luckiest machine alive.

They looked up at the ceiling, marvelling at their painted memorial of constellations lost to time. Curled up under their lover’s wing, beneath the homemade cosmos they had built together, V1 felt the happiest they ever had. Even if they had the ability to speak, they weren’t sure that they could find the words to express the feeling. 

V1 buried their face in Gabriel’s shoulder, and let themself bask in how good it felt to be safe.

Notes:

Heavily inspired by the song Private Universe by Crowded House, which I would recommend listening to if you haven't already. It's a good song, very cosy and nostalgic in my opinion.