Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A disaster. The office was a freakin’ disaster, and Remus Lupin stood on the precipice of it. There was a clear fire safety path that led from the door, it wound through a pile of things, squeezed past the narrow opening between the desk and the wall, to the spinning office chair. 

“Well, here it is! It’s…something, but it's your baby now.” Said the young office assistant, blond and short, who had a name that Remus had already forgotten, and an accent that was a stark reminder that Remus was in northern Maine now. The office assistant looked at Remus, jittery and bouncing, waiting for a response. 

“I’ve always loved a project.” Remus said, doing his best to sound enthusiastic about the inherited dump. He tugged a bit anxiously at the sleeve of his knitted sweater, and already felt a bit warm at the thought of how much work it would take. What he didn’t ask was how the one person who made up the entire marketing department before him could have needed so much stuff. There were so many boxes stacked haphazardly on top of each other. Arms of waterproof jackets reaching for the light coming from many of them. One was labeled “goggles”, while another that Remus could see the top of seemed to contain an entire Santa Claus outfit. Remus took a step into the office, breaking the invisible barrier of the door frame that separated this space from being someone else’s problem, to becoming his. He bent down, picking up the first piece of paper from a large stack. He held it up in the direction of the office assistant so he could see it. 

“This is a flier for an apres ski party that happened in 1999, this is 25 years old.” Remus said, keeping as much disbelief out of his voice as possible, trying to sound light hearted, like a great brand-new employee. 

The office assistant smiled, pushing the beanie he wore over his long dirty blond hair back and forth a bit. “You could start a museum! Well, I gotta get back to central, if you can think of anything I can help you with just call me!” And he trotted off down the hallway. 

“Yeah, that would be great if I had any idea what your name is.” Remus whispered to himself. The only solace Remus had gained from his tour guide from the morning had been that he probably wasn’t the youngest employee on this side of operations. He had to have been 23, or even pushing it a bit in his estimation, 24 to match Remus. 

It was probably a good thing that Remus hadn’t brought his small box titled “office decorations” in with him for his first day. It might be awhile before he would manage to make the space look enough to warrant old books and potted plants. He was thankful for the one thing he had brought; trash bags. Several of them. Black, heavy duty trash bags. He hadn’t been completely disillusioned with the state of the office, he had been warned a bit of cleaning might be involved in his first few days. So it was time for that cleaning. Remus started with the closest items to the door, as he rolled up his sleeves and started digging into the piles. 

***

By lunch there were several overstuffed trash bags in the hallway, and a bit more walking and breathing space than when Remus had started. He pulled the last bag, one filled with old hats that had long past years embroidered on them, and so many old papers that couldn’t remember the last time they had felt the touch of a human. The bag was a little too close to ripping in one corner for Remus’s comfort as he added it to the pile with the rest, then leant against the wall to take a breath. His nose was filled with dust and his eyes a bit itchy as he looked out the wall length windows opposite his office’s door. They overlooked Mount Calset, its pine forests carved into wide, snaking trails. Snow blowers lined the trails like lamp posts, most of them active and making the bleak brown and gray early December landscape transform into a winter wonderland. It was reminiscent of things so familiar, but the curve of the mountain was different, the trails cut into its side unknown. He watched the man-made snow fall into heavy piles, and knew the way it would feel almost starchy and artificial. Remus couldn’t help but shake his head slightly at the unlikeliness of it all, at how against all of his efforts, he had found himself back at a ski mountain. His mind almost drifted into thoughts of which of the trails before him would be the most enjoyable just by sight, but the thought hit a heavy steel wall was cut short. The old scars across his face and body felt a phantom sting. None of this would be easy, but Remus tried to stand a little bit straighter, and gave himself the pep talk he had already given so many times before today. He could do this, it would be healthy to do this, and nowhere in his job description would he ever be required to ski. 

He made his way into the cafeteria, ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and grabbed a drink. Remus scanned the large and mostly empty lodge. While the building’s structure itself was beautiful, the amount of tables and chairs in the lodge felt a little too close to a first day in a high school cafeteria. Although, Remus supposed, most high school cafeterias didn’t have a colossal stone fireplace. After spotting The Office Assistant, (that was starting to become the poor guy’s name in his head), Remus sat with him and another administrative person. The stranger, ginger haired woman, introduced herself as Lily from Human Resources and asked Remus plenty of questions about his first day. 

“How are you enjoying it so far?”

“Oh well, mostly I’ve been working on cleaning the office.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure Dave left you quite a mess huh, goodness knows the guy practically lived out of that office. And how about moving to Maine? Excited for that?” 

“Ah, I’ve been up here for a few weeks now so-“

“Oh lovely! Must be quite an adjustment dealing with the cold, its only going to get colder you know.”

Lily from Human Resources stopped to eat part of her sandwich and Remus took the opportunity to break eye contact and hopefully the conversation. He turned instead to The Office Assistant, god Remus wished he could remember his name.“I’m going to have quite a bit of trash over the next few days, where is the best place to bring it?” 

“You can just leave it in the hallway, the custodial guys will take care of it.” He responded after a large spoonful of some very thick looking soup. 

Remus shuddered as a cold draft hit his back. He turned and watched a horde of faceless bodies enter the lodge. They stopped being faceless as helmets, goggles and face masks were removed, and along with the cold draft there was a noticeable increase of voices as what seemed to be everyone who was hired to ski Mount Calset and teach on its slopes entered the building. They were not a quiet bunch. 

“Here we go.” Said The Office Assistant, sarcasm and falsified dread in his voice. 

“Peter, you knew they were coming in for training today.” Lily said as she pointed a manicured nail at him. “You should have been prepared to no longer own the place.” 

Peter! That was the blonde’s name! 

Peter rolled his eyes. “Yes, the hundred kings and queens of the mountain, back once again to reclaim the place they only work at SEASONALLY.” 

Remus snickered a bit at this. He had clearly not been here long enough to feel any ownership over anything, but it was clear instantly to him that perhaps relationships between ski instructors and everyone else who worked at the mountain was not exactly professional. 

“Peter! Lily!!” A joyous voice sounded from behind Remus and Peter. Lily, who was sat opposite, gave no warning beyond narrowed green eyes as Peter was bear hugged from the back by still gloved hands. “Hey my guy, how's it hangin’? You all miss us? Couldn’t wait for the life of this place to come back?” Remus was more than a little surprised at the British accent. 

Peter made exaggerated eyes at Remus as he turned to face his attacker, as if to say to him what did I just say?

“Hey man, nice to see you.” Peter said. Remus noted that Peter, even with his complaints, sounded like he might be secretly thrilled at the attention. He also turned and took in a tall, man with rich brown skin and glasses that were still defogging from the cold that Peter was addressing. “How is it out there this morning?” 

“Eh.” Said the man as he shrugged. “So many of us, only like three trails open, all of us still getting our legs back, it's for sure the first day.” He released Peter from his grip and looked across the table to Lily, who had gone silent. “Hey, Evans.” He said, and in a blink he had gone from boisterous to a bit shy. Remus glanced between the two, curiosity peaked. 

“Potter.” Lily said as she remembered a polite smile. “How was your off season?”

Potter smiled. “Oh, grand! We chased the snow, wherever the climate was cold, so were we.” He spoke with his hands, as he gestured like he could show them flight paths in the air in front of him. Remus wondered who the other half of the presumed ‘we’ was in this instance. 

“Lovely.” Lily said. Remus had not known her hardly long enough at all to tell if she truly cared at all. His attempt to observe must have caught Lily’s attention, and she lowered her gaze from the tall, handsome man, back to him. “This is Remus, he’s just joined us today, our new marketing department.” 

James looked a touch startled as he seemed to realize for the first time that there was anyone else at the table. He covered the look quickly though, and moved to no longer stand just behind Remus, but to grasp his hand in a firm, but jubilant handshake. “Ah! I’m James Potter. Ski school program instructor. Welcome to Calset!” 

“Nice to meet you.” Remus said as the handshake ended. 

“We’re looking forward to the work you’re going to do. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything, especially interviews or pictures, or whatever you’re looking for. We’ll be happy to help.” James gave him a bright smile, and Remus knew instantly that he would in fact be a perfect candidate for marketing materials. Even if it brought customers less for the skiing, and more just for a chance to try and grab James’s number. The way his gaze slowly shifted back across the table though like a puppy that had just done a trick and hoped for a treat indicated to Remus that perhaps those who came to Calset with such a mission would only be met with failure. 

“Nice to see you then, James.” Lily said, all three faces still turned up at the ski instructor. He ducked his head, in recognition of his que to leave. 

He still flashed a smile though. “Nice to see you, Evans.” He then gave Peter a friendly slap on the shoulder as he moved to leave. “Hey, I’ll see you around Pete, good to have you back.” Then, with long strides, James was already halfway back to a subset of skiers and riders. 

Peter turned to Remus, with a hidden smile as he feigned an academic voice “You will notice how those employed to ski believe that the rest of us only exist when they are here to perceive us. Also, kindly note how they will never remember that the rest of us, still do in fact ski, they are not the only ones in this place who get free passes.” 

Remus nodded, accepting his role as the student in Peter’s lecture. “I see, I see. No further questions. Skiers bad.” 

Lily sighed, and unable to shed her role as HR said “Ah, don’t go judging that fast. They’re all just people who like to have a bit of fun.”

“Adrenaline junkies” Peter said under his breath, but it was not harsh.

“Besides, Remus,” Lily continued, “You’ll be working with them more than anything.” 

Remus nodded, he knew this to be true. His entire role was to bring people to the mountain, advertise the services and products, which were the products provided by the skiers, and make the skiing staff look like superstars. “I’m sure I’ll be able to handle them.” 

Lily smiled, supportive and encouraging, and a little bit patronizing. “I’m sure you will, I’m sure you will.” 

***

Remus’s first day had continued as it had started, and by the time 3:30 had rolled around, he was pleased as punch that you could see more than half the floor of his office space. If he could ignore the large amount of garbage bags outside his office, which Peter had promised again would be handled by custodial and Remus didn’t need to worry about it, he felt like he had accomplished a lot. The last hour of his work day had been actually scheduled for a meeting that his orientation paperwork simply called “meeting with race team representative.” An opportunity to start to build connections across the mountain for different areas he would have to advertise and brag about. Dumbledore, his direct supervisor he had only met during his interview, and once at the very start of today, had not been subtle about how excited he was to promote the fact that Calset was home mountain to some very high profile racers, Olmpyians in fact, he had been proud to say. Remus wasn’t necessarily looking forward to it, he knew the culture of these places, he knew that ski racers were almost always entitled, and far too full of themselves. He also thought that from a marketing perspective, it made way more sense to focus on the qualities of the slope itself, and the ski school, and not whatever big names happened to be around. But to judge them was no longer his role, he would have to work with everyone at the mountain. He had left himself enough time to have some water, make a trip to the bathroom, and pull his sweater off his slightly sweaty chest a few times before he had to find the small conference space he was supposed to be at for 4pm. Even still, he was early, and sat at the table with a notepad and his pen, and ran a hand through his curls. 

At 3:58 he worried that he had not actually gone to the right room, and stood to check the number on the door to his paper schedule again. It was certainly correct.

At 4:01 he worried that perhaps he had looked at the schedule for the wrong date, but a quick check told him that he was still not incorrect.

At 4:15 he tapped his pen against his knee and leaned back in his chair. 

At 4:30 he felt sufficiently both annoyed, and that he might have been incorrect, even if all proof pointed to otherwise. He hated time wasted.

At 4:34, he stood with his note pad and pen in hand, and stepped into the hallway. As the door closed behind him, he very nearly collided with a body. He held his arms out to stabilize both of them, and took a step back. “So sorry about that.” Remus said, embarrassed. 

The woman in front of him was not short, but felt short compared to Remus. Her platinum blonde hair was cut in choppy layers, and she had a ring around her eyes, presumably from a pair of goggles no longer present. She had on a long sleeve, and still wore water-proof ski pants. 

“Sorry!” She said, nearly in tandem with Remus. “Are you marketing?”

Remus took a stabilizing breath. “Yes, that’s me, sorry, I might have been in the wrong place for our meeting, but everything I had said this was right.” 

The woman's eyebrows drew up in a moment of confusion, then dropped. “No, no, you were right, sorry. Your meeting wasn’t with me though, I’m afraid.” Her tone didn’t sound completely apologetic though, in fact there was a slight tone of annoyance that reflected Remus’s own at the news.

“Pardon?” He asked.

The woman sighed. “You were supposed to meet with the race team representative?” Remus nodded in confirmation. “Hm, well don’t bother waiting, he forgot, and sent me over to let you know.” 

Remus had to fight to not scrunch his face up at the news. It also twisted slightly in his gut. As a new employee, every second of a first day is an important first impression, not just for the new hire, but for the company itself. Remus had worked for enough bad places of employment and had hoped so deeply that Calset would not be a repeat. His hand almost went instinctually to pinch his brow, but he stopped, there was still someone there in the room with him. He breathed once out his nose, and gave a curt “ah.”

The woman shrugged, like it was not unexpected. “I work with the ski school. Marlene.” 

If Marlene could shrug it off, he could too. “Hi. Uh, Remus.” 

Marlene nodded, as if she already knew this, and perhaps she did. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. The racers truly are all another breed, and you should never take it personally, even if it is.” Marlene said, lips slightly pursed. “Well, they think they’re another breed, one that owns the mountain.” 

A small breath of laughter rose in Remus’s chest as he wondered if everyone employed here thought they ‘owned’ the mountain, and why they all just couldn’t share. On only his first day, he had already been made aware of a battlefield of ownership over natural landscape. 

Marlene glanced at the watch on her wrist. “Well, 4:30 signals the end of the day here, and you definitely shouldn’t bother waiting. I’d work with whoever has been showing you the ropes on trying to get that meeting rescheduled. Don’t hold your breath though.” Marlene began to continue down the hall.  “Nice to meet you though, Remus!” 

Out of sight of anyone, Remus did allow his hand to go to the bridge of his nose, and he let out a practiced breath. One missed meeting was annoying, especially on the first day, but he had to hold out hope that it would not signal the start of a very long season. He left the hall and grabbed his coat and messenger bag from his office and slung both over him. As he walked out to his car, a small and very old honda civic, he pulled out his cell phone. Marlene had said to reach out about the missed meeting, and Peter had given Remus his cell number before they departed at lunch. 

Remus

Hey Peter, this is Remus. Thanks for your help today. Just wanted to let you know that my 4:00 meeting didn’t show today. I believe you have access to my schedule? If you don’t mind helping me reschedule that at some point. 

It seemed formal enough for a text for a brand new coworker, and he hit send. He had just crossed the road to the mostly vacant parking lot, and got in his car to start it and let it warm up when the phone buzzed with a response. Then again, and again. 

Peter P.

Ugh! Figures

Yes, will do. Thanks for letting me know.

Racers, ammiright? 

Remus chuckled a bit. He wondered if there was anyone at Calset, or anywhere for that matter, that liked ski racers other than the racers themselves. 

Remus

Thank you! I appreciate it. 

Peter P.

Np!

Oh, hey, if you’re free tonight, its kind of customary for a lot of the staff to go down to the pub just down the street, Hogshead, for the first day of the working season. Meant to mention it earlier. 6:30 abouts if you can

Remus

Okay, thanks for letting me know. I’ll try to make it over. 

It felt like a sufficient enough answer so that he could show up if he wanted to, but still had not committed enough that Peter would not feel lied to if Remus got back to his house and decided a shower and pajamas were all he had in him for the rest of the day. And a shower and pajamas sounded so tempting. The engine of his car had warmed up enough, and he pulled out of the lot, and onto the road. The sun was already well on its way to setting, the bane of early winter. 

His home, a small, rented and honestly bit disheveled cabin, sat cold and waiting for him upon his return, not long later. Remus kicked off his boots to the mat, and fell onto the couch, pulling the nearest of many knitted blankets over his lap. He didn’t want to dedicate himself to making a fire if he did decide to go out. He could hear his mother’s voice in his head, it told him it would be smart to go out, it's always better to make friends on day one than day one hundred. His phone had buzzed once again as he drove over, and he checked it then.

Peter P.

Great, see you soon!

So clearly his half-avoidance tactic had not been successful on Peter. He juggled the two thoughts in his head. On one hand, a fire in the cast iron stove, a warm shower, and a cup of tea with a microwave dinner sounded so pleasant. He could pick a record and a book, and have a restful night in after what had frankly been a busy first day. There were still a few boxes that needed unpacked, but the blankets, books and the records had been first priority. His mother had convinced him that at least a few of his favorites of each might make him feel more at home, and he knew, might entice him to stay longer. On the other hand, that was exactly the exact thing he had done every night since he had moved into the cabin. Remus had to remind himself that so much of the reason he was here in the first place was in an attempt to push himself outside of his comfort zone. It wasn’t a hard thing to do, when his comfort zone was already so small in the first place, which put ‘dinner at a pub with a bunch of brand new co-workers’ definitively outside of that circle. 

Remus had pulled the blanket closer to his chin when his phone buzzed again. When he glanced down at it he saw the familiar contact photo of himself and his mom, a selfie, one he had taken, with his longer arms, and Hope planting a soft kiss on his cheek. He unlocked the phone to read the message. 

Mum

I hope day one went well, cariad! Making lots of friends I bet, remember, day one is better than day one hundred :) 

Remus half chuckled, and half moaned at how predictable his mother was, and how spot on his mental impression had been. That was it then, even so many miles and an ocean away, Hope had made the decision for him. Off to Hogshead he would go tonight. But, a few more minutes under the rapidly warming blanket couldn’t hurt, he thought, as he responded.

Remus

I’m trying :) 

Chapter Text

Peter had been right, the pub was close to Calset, so it made sense that it had become the go-to spot for the employees. So close in fact, you could see the mountain, and in the relative silence of the pre-season night, hear the snow blowers still hard at work. Remus had had enough time to shower, which was much needed after the amount of manual labor he had done to clean his new office, and change into something just between work appropriate and casual. For Remus, that meant another warm, knitted sweater, but with a soft white t-shirt underneath, instead of a collared shirt. He had dried his curls best he could before he had left to avoid them freezing into solid chunks, and as he stepped out of his car to head into Hogshead, he ran a finger through them once more, just to be sure they still hadn’t frozen while he wasn’t paying attention. 

Remus took a steadying breath, and then stepped finally into the pub. The exterior of the building had made it look old, but the inside had clearly been remodeled within the last decade. There seemed to be two distinct sections, one with tables and seating, and then the bar, surrounded by high tops. It was busy, Peter had told him around 6:30, and Remus had shown up at just about that time, but he had been told that many of the seasonal employees were housed in Calset-owned condos right off the slopes. It seemed likely that plenty of them had skied right to their housing after their last run, showered, and made their way over to the Hogshead early. 

People had gathered in groups, and spoke casually and jovially. Friends and acquaintances who hadn’t seen each other in months caught up, swapped stories, and shared predictions for the upcoming season. Remus felt out of place, a stranger in the face of a culture he had disowned years ago. He was just starting to consider if anyone would notice if he turned on the spot and exited the way he had just come in, when a bright voice called his name from not far away.

“Remus!” 

He looked around, a bit dazed and lost in the crowd, before he spotted a hand raised in his direction. It was Lily, at last a familiar face, even if she had just been a lunch companion earlier in the day. At her call, Peter, next to her, turned to Remus, and waved him over. He went to join them at their hightop. 

“You made it!” Peter said.

Remus shrugged one shoulder, good naturedly. “It was a hard sell, I had some very warm blankets and a book that tried to convince me otherwise.” 

Lily gave a laugh like she understood, and had had the same internal battle herself. “Don’t worry, this isn’t a every weekend thing, just for the first day back for most everyone.” 

“And for other celebrations.” Peter interjected. “St. Paddy’s day goes nuts, but that’s mostly the visitors. But you just wait till you see the end of season staff get together.” He sighed wistfully. Remus had begun to suspect that every ounce of Peter’s so-called hatred of the seasonal staff was entirely just for show. 

“I’ll look forward to that then.” Remus said. 

He spent some time talking with the two of them, who offered him a slice of the pizza they had ordered. It was delicious, and Remus had to admit, better than a microwave dinner. In a lull, Peter noticed something in the crowd beyond them, and said “Watch out Lily, here comes Severus.” 

Lily rolled her eyes slightly, and when she noticed Remus’s raised eyebrow, said under her breath, “He works in ticket sales. He’s…”

“Horrible.” Peter broke in.

Lily shrugged, like she didn’t disagree, but couldn’t say so, either out of a determination to be kind, or because she worked in HR. “Don’t worry, I can handle him.” Peter puffed out his chest like he thought he could help. “Go on though, Remus, we’ll spare you this introduction. Go get yourself a drink or something, meet some people, have a good time.” 

Remus didn’t have the heart to say that ‘meeting new people’ was hardly his definition of a good time, but if he could be spared a conversation with an apparently unpleasant man, he wouldn’t mind slipping away. Even if he hadn’t known her long, he had the distinct impression that Lily could more than handle herself. Her friendliness and talkative nature had already grown on him since he met her at lunch. If Calset continued the trend of warring factions, he hoped strongly now that he had found an ally in Lily and Peter. 

Remus gave a weary look over his shoulder at the bar, and Peter gave him a slight nudge at his shoulder. “Alright then, give a holler if you need help with this guy.” But Lily just waved him off, like it was nonsense. He took the signal, and headed off in the direction of the bar. There was enough room that there were no super tight squeezes between groups of people, but it was still necessary to weave through the groups. On his way he spotted Marlene, the ski instructor from earlier at a table with a woman with long, carefully braided hair. Marlene gave him a wave of acknowledgement, which he appreciated and returned, then he finally got to the bar. A few orders were taken ahead of him, then at his turn, he ordered himself a local on tap beer. 

As he waited, a body slid into the bar next to him on his left. He didn’t think to look over at the warmth, likely just someone a bit eager for their next refill. 

“You’re new.” And the voice surprised Remus, and he had to wonder how he had found himself in Maine, of all places, to be followed by the accents of England. 

He looked over to address the voice and body back, and to confirm that he was, in fact, new, but the words got slightly caught in his throat. The man next to him was, well frankly, beautiful. He was shorter than Remus, by a noticeable amount, and his sharp, porcelain face was turned up at him. His face was framed by shiny, black hair that fell with slight waves down to his shoulders. He was leant sideways against the bar, one elbow propped him up. He wore dark colors, that only made his complexion stand out more. Bright grey eyes, brighter than they had any right to be in the dimness of the pub, assessed Remus with their own surprise. Remus could track their movements, and knew they traveled along the lines of his scars. The stranger was not expecting them before he had turned. The distraction provided by his own face gave him just a moment to recover from the fact that he had not yet responded. 

Remus cleared his throat, and tried very hard to keep it subtle. The whole pub was already a lot, but he had not accounted for handsome strangers to slide up next to him at an unofficial work event. He often didn’t even think others on first glance were beautiful, generally that was something he would come to see in someone with time. There was something about this man though that had metaphorically knocked him off his feet in just a second. It startled Remus, and he tried to shove it away from his thoughts. Coworker, he told himself, this is a new coworker. “Yes, I’m new. Started today.” 

The strangers' own eyebrows rose in surprise then. He clearly had not been expecting a foreign accent either, and even if Remus’s welsh was soft, it stood out like a sore thumb in the northeast of the United States. “I didn’t notice you during training on the hill today?” The stranger said, it was half a question, half a statement. Training, for the ski instructors, he was part of that crew then. At that moment, Remus’s drink was handed across the bar to him. Remus took it, and shifted to fully face the stranger as the bartender took his order. “Screwdriver please.” He said, as he set an empty glass on the bar, then his attention, those grey eyes, were turned back to Remus.  

“No, not on the hill.” Remus said with a repressed shudder at the thought. “I’m here for marketing.” 

Something crossed the strangers face then, perhaps a mixture of surprise and recognition, maybe even a slight wince, and Remus couldn’t understand it. But the expression passed, and the stranger settled back into casualness, or, Remus noted, with a bit of hooded eyes, and a parted look. Flirtatious maybe? No, that was ridiculous. “Your name wouldn’t be Remus Lupin, would it?” The stranger asked.

Remus was a bit taken aback. He practically stammered, “Uh, yes, that's me. How’d you know?” 

“James mentioned he met you today.” The stranger said, and he looked around the crowded space. He pointed a long, nail painted black, finger across the bar. Remus followed, and as a few people moved out of the way, saw James, who had moved over to the table with Lily, and Peter, and an annoyed looking man who must have been Severus. James was speaking animatedly, as he told another story with his arms. Peter and Lily paid attention, and Severus’s arms were crossed across his chest, clearly annoyed. Remus could not get too distracted by the scene across the pub though, and the body next to him shifted slightly as the outstretched hand was lowered. “Hard to forget a name like ‘Remus’.” 

At his name, rolled over on his tongue like a test, Remus turned his attention back to the man. He had been given his drink, and held onto it with one hand in front of his chest. His chest, which had been bumped a bit closer to Remus’s. He looked away from the drink and the proximity of their bodies, to the man's face, those grey eyes still trained on him. He felt like he was being assessed. 

“What’s your name?” Remus asked, determined to pass whatever was happening within the interaction. 

“Sirius.” The man said quickly, but if there was a look that said he was surprised Remus didn’t know that already, he didn’t miss it. 

“Sirius.” Remus repeated, a bit slower than the situation might have warranted. He told himself he had imagined the way Sirius’s grey eyes lit up at the sound. “Hard to forget a name like that, too.” 

Sirius smirked. Remus was half surprised, and half disappointed that there was not a filthy line that followed. Not flirting then. Sirius took a drink of his screwdriver, and Remus could hardly feel any shame as he watched the way his throat bobbed with it. Hardly, was key, this was still a coworker after all, someone he would likely have to work with in the future, and have to have a professional relationship with. He couldn’t go mucking everything up on what could still be considered his first day. When his cup was lowered, and Remus had taken a hefty gulp, or perhaps two, of his own, Sirius spoke again. “What could have possibly brought you all the way to Maine for a marketing position?” He asked. Their bodies had turned slightly, so their shoulders and sides almost met in a v at the bar. 

Remus shrugged. “I’m good at my job, Calset was hiring, and I was looking for something different.” Outside of his comfort zone, he thought. And all of this sure was. “And you?” 

Sirius mirrored his shrug. “I’m good at my job.” Another smirk. Remus stopped himself from an eyeroll. It made enough sense that Calset might go out of their way to hire a foreign marketing manager, especially with a resume like his and proof he could bring attention to tucked away locations, but surely there were plenty of New Englanders that could teach people how to ski that it was extravagant to hire not one, but at least two british instructors. He let it go though. He had some more of his drink, and wished mildly that he didn’t have to worry about a drive back so he could justify more.

“How’d your first day go then?” Sirius asked after another sip of his drink, eyes still trailed on Remus from under long, dark lashes. 

“Well enough. Have had a ton of work to do in my office. You wouldn’t believe the age of some of the things in there.” 

“Oh, do enlighten me.” Sirius pressed, and pressed in a bit closer, under the pretense that he was trying to listen closer over the music and voices. The thought that perhaps he was being flirted with flashed again through Remus’s brain. There was not a need for them to be quite that close, the pub was not overpacked, and it was still easy enough for them to hear each other. Boldly though, Remus bent down ever so slightly to meet Sirius’s ear. If he was going to pretend that he needed to be closer for the conversation to continue, he could too. 

“Well, I don’t think I can rightly give anyone hats with the years 1999 or pins with 1981 plastered on it. Might be a bit out of date.” 

Sirius hummed in false thoughtfulness. “1981? Nothing good happened that year anyways, so I don’t think you'd be able to get anything selling those online either.” 

“Damn.” Remus said. “That writes off all my plans then. What do you think I could get for an original copy of the magna carta that I found then?” He asked, conspiratorially.

 At that Sirius laughed, and the sound made Remus feel warm. “Well, I’m glad you’re already making good use of your time on day one then.” 

Remus pulled back from the closeness, just a bit. “I’ve done what I can. As long as no one else forgets about meetings with me completely, then yes, we can safely say I’m putting my time to good use.” He said. 

He had expected some clever quip, or another turn in the conversation, but Sirius’s lips twitched in a slight wince that Remus did not understand. He watched the shorter man give himself a slight shake, which only slightly moved his hair out of place. Sirius did not move to flick the strand out of his face, and Remus knew that if he had a few more drinks with him, and if he was back home, and not at a bar with someone he would have to continue working with, as he kept reminding himself, he would have done it for him. “Would have to be a fool to have missed a meeting with you. Can I get you another drink?” Sirius said after a moment, and Remus hoped that the pub was warm enough, and dark enough to account for the slight flush of his cheeks as he realized it was becoming harder to convince himself that Sirius was not flirting with him. 

Coworker, coworker, coworker. He repeated to himself, as if it was going to make Sirius suddenly ugly, or remove the warmth of his closeness. He allowed himself an annoyed twist of the face as he answered “I appreciate it, but I have to drive myself back tonight.”  

Sirius opened his mouth, head ducked slightly, to speak, and Remus’s mind raced with the possibility of what it could be, and already began to think of ways to decline even if he really didn’t want to, when Sirius was stopped by an arm coming down around his shoulder. 

The intrusion felt like it had broken a spell, the music became louder, the voices sharper, and the bar under his elbow suddenly sticky, and Remus looked up to once again be face to smiling face with James Potter. “Ay!” James said, “You’ve met Sirius then!” As he pulled the black haired man closer into his shoulder.

Remus was still slightly startled from the change of pace, but gave James a polite smile. “Yes.” he said. “We were just chatting about my first day.” 

James released Sirius, and looked around him to the bar, where the bartender met his look instantly and took James’s order without hesitation. He seemed to be a favorite. “Splendid. I meant what I said earlier, the ski school is more than happy to be involved in whatever you need from us. Whatever you need to improve Calset’s image.” He gave Sirius a pointed, but joking look. 

Sirius patted a playful hand against James’s chest. “Come on James, what's the rule? No work talk when we’re at the pub.” Remus smiled a bit at that, he and Sirius had certainly been breaking that rule if it existed, but perhaps the pretense of it had made it fair game.

James held his hands up in surrender, then grabbed his drink, which had been poured for him quickly. “Listen! Just because some of us are the ‘face of the mountain’ doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t try and be nice to the marketing guy!” 

At that Sirius did roll his eyes, dramatically, and crossed his arms across his chest. He shot what could be read as a nervous glance in Remus’s direction. Remus couldn’t help but look at Sirius from head to toe, easier now that there was a bit of socially acceptable distance between them since James had joined. Heavy black boots, a chain across black jeans, toned chest, and those grey eyes, dangerous still in their light, but not as bright as they had been throughout the course of their potentially teasing conversation. If Sirius was indeed the ‘face of the mountain’, Remus had no qualms with whoever had decided that. If he had thought that James would attract masses of people who wanted to pretend to have a chance with a warm attitude, and safe words to teach them how to ski, then Sirius would bring those who were enchanted with the idea of the flying quickly down a mountain, moguls and jumps, high speeds and danger. That's what Sirius looked like. Danger on white slopes, eyes the color of the sky before it turns to a blinding snow. 

The thoughts tumbled quickly, reminded Remus of the last time he had been on skis, of the impact to his side, to being blinded and rolled, to sharp metal that seemed to stick everywhere. He carefully set his mostly empty glass at the bar, and used his free hand to pinch at his skin above his wrist to bring him back to the present moment. To the two men still stood in front of him. He took a small step back, hardly an inch, but enough of a separation to give him room to breathe. He did not know James and Sirius, he could not equate them with his accident, and they could not be blamed. He was here to make friends.

He wondered if Sirius had picked up on Remus’s change in attitude, as he tried to once again subtly assess him. There was a small knit in his eyebrows, like he was trying to solve an equation. Remus wanted to move on though. 

“I’m more than happy to work with the ski school. I think it’ll be one of the most important things to market about the mountain. People who already ski here are going to keep coming back, but if you’re looking to learn, you need to trust that where you’re going is going to teach you well.” 

James smiled, like he was thrilled with that answer. “You’ve put into words what I’ve always thought, Remus! Finally, some brains for our operation.” 

The three of them slipped into easy conversation, primarily regarding England and where they had grown up. Remus learned that Sirius and James had known each other for many years, slightly over a decade, and had skied together since then. Remus shared some of the other places he had worked after school, how they had often been brief stints where he had been successful, but the company had tried to take advantage of him too much, which pushed him to leave each time. James encouraged Remus to make sure he stood up for himself here at Calset, and that if he ever needed backup, he would be happy to step in. James made friends fast it seemed, and he had already won Remus over. Sirius was quieter than he had been at first, but still made Remus laugh, and secretly blush more than once. There was enough room at the bar for them to find seats, and Sirius had sat in the middle, and more than once his hand had brushed close to Remus’s. He had allowed himself one more drink, and a bowl of popcorn was shared between them. It was still early enough, and Remus was tall enough that two drinks and a bit of time would be fine to still safely get home. 

While James was distracted by someone who had come up and shouted “Jamie! How was your summer!” Remus found himself the sole recipient of Sirius's attention once more. He was not sure how much more of it he could handle in just one night. 

“You sure I can’t offer you one more?” Sirius asked, as he eyed Remus’s empty glass. 

Remus waved a hand in refusal. “No, no. Thank you. That's enough for me, and again, only my second day tomorrow, I still have to make good impressions.” 

Sirius smiled. “Oh, you don’t think you’ve done that?” 

“Hmm.” Remus hummed. “There are more people than just you at this mountain.” 

There, he had done it. He had made Sirius blush, even if just a little. Sirius preened a bit, like his words had ruffled his feathers. “I know that.” He said indignantly. It made Remus chuckle. The setting, and the attitude of the people around him kept making him forget that this was all part of work. “Another time.” Remus added though, because he realized with more than a little bit of shock, that he would enjoy this again. A win for going outside of his comfort zone, it seemed. 

“Another time.” Sirius said with a nod as he took Remus’s word as a promise. 

A light hand on his shoulder drew Remus out of the bubble that had been created with Sirius again. He turned to see Lily standing with Peter beside him. “Hey, Remus.” Lily said, friendly as ever. Remus found himself thinking that he did hope that Lily and James were at least friends, they both seemed to have endless kindness to extend to others. “Pete and I were about to head out, we wanted to make sure we said bye before we left.” 

Remus looked briefly at his phone, and couldn’t believe how much time had passed. He would not have thought he had spent that long speaking to James and Sirius, time had passed quickly without his notice. “Oh, you’re so right.” He said as he stood from the stool. “I should get headed too.” 

“We can walk out with you.” Peter said, as he gave what struck him as an odd glance between himself and Sirius, as he handed Remus his coat from where he had left it at their table. 

“Great, thanks.” Remus said as he took it. He turned back to James and Sirius. “It was really nice speaking with you both, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around.” 

“For sure, mate!” James said. 

“I owe you some drinks.” Sirius said. Remus gave them both a smile, and did his best to not read too much into Sirius’s words. 

He pulled on his coat and followed Lily and Peter out of the pub. The air was cold as they stepped out of the door, and he would lie to say it was not entirely unwelcome on his warm cheeks. 

As they moved into the cold, Peter, next to Remus, asked “Do you still want me to reschedule that race representative meeting for you?” 

Remus, completely unsure as to why that would have changed since he had texted Peter about the missed meeting earlier, said “Yes, please. That would be lovely.”

Peter shrugged, and said “Alright. Will do. I’ll text or email you first thing as soon as I hear back. I’m sure it won’t be long.” He laughed, like there was a joke that Remus had missed. Lily gave a small giggle as well. 

“Well, thanks for letting me know about tonight, that was nice.” Remus said, and Peter smiled, proud as anything. They finished their goodbyes, and Remus got into his cold car and drove home. When he pulled into his small dirt driveway, he spent a minute outside of the car before he entered the housing, and looked up at the sky. If there was one thing that he would absolutely never regret about his move to Maine, it was that the night sky here was just as wonderful, if not more, than the one he had grown up with as a child. With no light pollution, he could see the dust of the milky way stretched across the sky, and bright constellations and stars filled his vision. Sirius . He thought to himself. The man he had just met, and also the name. It had sounded familiar, and as he looked up he could remember it vaguely having to do something with the night sky. He would have to look it up, he thought, as one bright star seemed to wink at him, and he let himself into his house. 

Chapter Text

The night after his night at the pub with his new co-workers, Remus dreamt. Or, to be more specific, he had a nightmare. It was not uncommon, far from it, and Remus had been thrilled the first few weeks in his new home when his sleep had been dreamless or basic enough to not matter. A day spent around skiers, and in the shadow of a mountain had been just enough to remind his subconscious that it had been awhile since his last stress induced dream. 

It was always him on skis, always on a mountain that was not even a copy of where he had learned to ski as a child. It was some amalgamation of trails that were too steep, lifts that loaded too fast, and didn't have bars to pull down. It always transitioned to him in the middle of trail. Sometimes there would be a moment of peace, the silence of snow coated trees and an empty trail, but then his dream legs would forget themselves, they would turn to jelly under him as he barreled down a mountain too fast, unable to stop himself. Even if his own speed was never an issue, there was always, without fail in nightmares such as these, that dark grey coat, almost charcoal in color, visible only for but a moment that was filled with fear and complete understanding of what would come next. Impact to his side, a sharp edge suddenly across his face, the inability to understand which way the sky was, the ground everywhere, a jolt in his stomach as he was pushed off the trail, more sharp tears and metal, blinding white and deafening dark, then a heavy breath as the dream stopped and he would wake up.

The dream, and the variations of it that would plague him across his life, was common enough that it would not ruin Remus’s day, but it was always enough to wake up with a heart that raced in his chest. His room, a loft space above the living room, kitchen and bathroom, was filled with the off-color of too early morning. He rubbed at his eyes and groaned as he rolled over under his heavy weighted blanket. He slapped at the table next to him to find his phone. The clock read that he only had about fifteen minutes before his alarm was scheduled to go off, and so he flopped onto his back, and dug his head a bit further into the pillow. Fifteen minutes could make all the difference. 

Luckily, those extra moments were a doze empty of visions of pain and trauma. When his alarm did go off he reluctantly pulled his blankets off, and quickly pulled a sleeprobe around him. The fire in the living room below had died during the night, he was still doing his best to learn how to get it just right before he slept so he would not wake to a freezing house. It appeared that last night, with his mind distracted by thoughts of handsome not-so-strangers in pubs pushed close to him, had been another failure on that front. 

Remus moved through the morning in a routine he was still working on establishing. The coffee pot on, frozen waffles in the toaster with maple syrup - decidedly his favorite part of America - ready to be poured. Sweater and pants pulled on, and his car turned on to warm up while he quickly ate breakfast and finished the prep of his coffee in a travel mug. Light music, just enough to wake him up, on the car ride over to Calset, and his second day of work had begun. 

His office felt far less overwhelming thanks to his day of work yesterday. It clearly still needed more manual labor, but there would be time for that yet, and he sat at the desk - his desk - tucked in a corner by the window. It looked out to the left of the mountain, where the more advanced trails were. The snow guns had been shut off, and at some point in the night or early morning, groomers had gone over the massive mounds of snow, flattened and perfected them for the second day of training, and the very small number of guests who were eager to begin their season. 

His email was still relatively empty, something he knew he should savor while he could. Mostly, just emails from HR of online training that he would need to complete, which he now felt more inclined to begin if it would ensure that Lily’s life was a bit easier, after her extended kindness and positive attitude. There was one email that was actually related to the point of his job, from his supervisor, Dumbledore. 

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Request for today

Remus,

Today Calset’s race team and affiliates will be hosting an on-hill practice, beginning around 12:30. The trail they are using is low enough you can walk to the bottom of the track, given our prior conversations. As I have stressed, the race team is important for Calset to display, as we are home to some prolific names. You may of course be familiar with Black, an Olympic Ski Racer, who we are proud to boast. The Olympics may not be this year, but there are other notable races occurring that he will be a major player in this year, so the earlier we can begin posts and marketing surrounding him, the better. I look forward to seeing your work.

1. Dumbledore 

Remus rolled and cracked his neck as he read the email, and shot off a quick reply saying he was happy to do so - not entirely the truth. He had spoken so much during his interview with Calset at how he wanted to focus on the ski school, the lessons, the natural beauty of the area, and local hot spots that would be a draw. Racing was not necessarily something he was well versed in, or excited about. But he supposed it was his job. As he hit send his phone buzzed on the desk next to him with a text from Peter.

Peter P.

I can reschedule that meeting for today. When are you free? 

Remus

I’ve got to be at the race practice today, at 12:30. Not sure how long those usually go, but I can do anytime after that, just need to spend the morning doing online training. 

There was a pause before Peter responded.

Peter P.

Perfect, he said as soon as that's over you guys can leave from there. That meeting room was booked out, are you fine to use your office?

Remus

Yes, that's fine, I did a lot of cleaning yesterday. Thanks for your help!

Peter P.

Of course, have fun ;)

Remus looked quizzically at the winky face used as punctuation of Peter’s message. It seemed a bit inappropriate for a work text, but he had accidently done the same thing before. It had led to a brief awkward situation with a friend, who had luckily believed him that it was a typo. It must have been that. As he went to set his phone down he realized he still was unsure who the meeting was exactly supposed to be with, but it felt like he would just be a nuisance to annoy Peter about it again. Besides, he figured, whoever it was, surely they would see the new guy with a camera and not a bit of ski equipment on the side of the race track and approach him. It would all work out, he told himself. It was a constant mantra, repeated to himself over and over in an attempt to trick himself and his anxiety. Sometimes it worked.

As promised, he spent the morning in front of his computer, with blue light glasses and lazily clicked through out-of-date videos about workplace etiquette. He couldn’t help but chuckle uncomfortably when one of the videos on diversity in the workplace inexplicably featured supernatural creatures as a stand-in for embracing differences. It felt a bit insensitive and odd to compare imaginary, and frankly dangerous creatures to being queer or having a disability. He made a mental note to ask Lily the next time he saw her when the last time anyone updated the video was, and who had approved it. As much as it was strange though, he couldn’t help but wish he had someone to text a picture of the weird little vampire animation as he looked ahead and asked ‘how can I get my coworkers to understand my private life is none of their business?’ 

As such, the morning passed slowly, and when noon finally hit Remus was glad to click out of the tab, and eat his packed lunch from home at his desk. Out the window he could see the last of the race practice track, long, plastic, red and blue poles being drilled into the snow of one of the trails. Dumbledore had been right, it would be easy enough to walk to the end, where a distant figure was setting up orange plastic fencing so racers could skid off at the end without anyone in their way. After he had finished his food and taken just a moment to scroll aimlessly on his phone, he prepped to head outside. Even if his sweater was thick and the midday sun was warm through his window, he had learned quickly just how much of a killer the wind could be. He pulled on his puffy winter coat, sage green, pulled a beanie over his head and the tip of his ears, wrapped a scarf loosely around his neck, and a pair of gloves that would still allow him to easily operate his camera, which hung from its strap over his shoulder. He was determined not to freeze, but also the extra layers felt like they provided a bit of protection, even if only emotionally, as he had to go walk around the ski mountain proper. 

***

The outfit maybe looked dramatic compared to the other people stood at the bottom of the slope, coaches and a small handful of spectators, but Remus felt that perhaps they were all just freaks who had become too used to the cold. As he had predicted, the wind was enough to make him grateful for the layers of fabric. Remus shifted from one foot the other to keep his blood moving, and squinted up into the sunny trail. No one had come down the trail yet. He glanced at his watch, noted that the time was just after 12:30, and wondered if anyone at Calset was ever on time, or if it was just an issue with the racers. 

The entire trail seemed to be closed off for the practice, but there was one that ran along it that was still open. A large group of instructors in the red employee coats of Calset red were on that trail, and two split off from the group to head to the bottom of the race track. Remus had strategically placed himself against the tree line of the race trail, there would be no one coming down the slope from above him, except for the racers, and even then he would really only be able to get photos as they came down the last few posts and the mock finish line. The two instructors, one one skis and the other on a snowboard stopped and took off their equipment, and made the small trek to where Remus stood. Remus had to squint past the helmet, goggles and neckwear, and even then he was unsure of who approached until James’s wide smile was released from the neckwear. 

“Fancy meeting you here.” James said with a laugh. For a half second Remus’s heart skipped as he wondered if the person with him was Sirius, surprised for no reason really that he would be a snowboarder, but their build was much different. Gloved hands removed a helmet, and a wild afro of brown curls popped into place. “We came to watch too.” James said as he took his place next to Remus. “This is Mary.” 

“Hello, Mary.” Remus said, and they reached across James to shake each other's hand. For a split second he almost opened his mouth to ask where Sirius was, but quickly closed it. That seemed a bit desperate. 

“Mary is one of our snowboarding coaches.” James explained, unnecessarily. 

“Hey.” Mary said, in false offense. “Not just ‘one of’. That's the best of the best to you, sir.” 

“Alright, alright.” Placated James. “This is Mary, the best of the best of our snowboarding coaches.” 

Remus nodded. “I’m glad to know your official title then.” He said.

“As just well.” Mary said with a small laugh. “I’m going to be so glad to work with you this year, snowboarding school always gets absolutely forgotten about when it comes to anything here, but I think we can change that.”

It seemed that word about Remus and his position was traveling fast around the mountain. “I’ll be very happy to do that then.” He assured her. 

“I’ll hold you to that.” She said with a friendly, pointed finger. 

“Let Remus do his job, they’re starting.” James said, as he looked up the mountain.

Remus did not feel it was urgent to clarify that he was stood on the side of the mountain in the cold with a camera for the sole purpose of his job, as he followed James’s gaze and sure enough, there was a skier coming down the track. 

He had seen skiers from his window all morning today, and yesterday, but to have one come down the mountain so quickly, in his direction, sent Remus’s heart thumping widely in his chest. He took a small step back from the fence, and hoped that as he raised his camera to his eye that it seemed like it was just to get a better angle. If his breath was too fast, he could maybe blame the thin air. As he snapped a few distant photos he had to remind himself that skiers were well practiced, and by definition could not ski wildly, there was a strict path they had to stick to, and Remus was not anywhere close to it. His thoughts were blissfully broken up by Mary’s voice. 

“Who's first?”

James leaned forward, and even with his goggles down, which Remus hoped were prescription--he had read once they made such a thing--he could imagine James was squinting up the hill. “Looks like Evan Rosier.” 

Mary made a sound like a poorly disguised scoff. “That explains the poor form then.” 

“First day back?” James said, like a defense he truly didn’t find excusable. 

Remus considered their words, and found with surprise that even he could tell that the racer on the track, Evan, was wobbly on his feet, and his turns were not tight enough. The analysis, and listening to James and Mary as they spoke was almost enough to distract him from his fear until Evan was suddenly so close. Remus felt his knees wobble as the man flew past the last two poles, and into the fenced landing. There was a small spray of snow as Evan pulled to a stop in front of one of the coaches, and their heads lowered in debrief. Remus was suddenly aware again of the camera in his hands, and that he had not taken a single photo of Evan as he had gotten closer. That would be okay though, each racer would go far more than once, and Dumbledore had truly only seemed to care about Black. 

The next racer down, Barty Crouch Jr., according to James, was much faster, but still Mary and James had points to tut about, and Remus was convinced that in his speed Barty had almost missed one of the posts completely. It was clear he was fast, but his run was not clean. It was even more evident when he reached the bottom, and before he had even pulled to a stop flung his poles out of his hand into the snow with a loud swear. Remus flinched back, but just heard James and Mary sigh. Remus found himself very much hopeful that his meeting later would not be with Barty. 

“Typical.” Mary said, annoyed.

“Are they all like that?” Remus asked, more than a bit taken aback at the behavior. 

James then leaned forward to look past Remus in excitement. “Not all of them. This will be him.” 

“Whooo, Black!” Mary hollered, even if there was no one even in sight to have heard her.  

The name caught Remus’s attention though, this was who Dumbledore had asked for photos of directly, an apparent Olympian. Remus pulled his camera back up to his face, ready to snap photos as a small black dot appeared at the top of the hill. It held steady for just a moment, then in an instant, was shooting down the mountain. Remus snapped a few distant photos, and as he looked through the zoomed in lens, he found himself a bit in awe of the performance in front of him. While Evan and Barty had both been good, even with their flaws, it had been clear that so much effort had gone into their run. Black was skiing like it came as natural as breathing. There was a fluidity to the turns, they melted between each other seamlessly, hardly a noticeable difference until Black hit the blue and red poles. Remus had the funny thought as he watched Black ski that it felt like watching a painter deep in the midst of a masterpiece. Even his build was something to admire, Remus pondered a bit shamefully. But in the tight racing outfit, black with red and gold accents, it was hard to ignore. 

As Black grew closer, and quickly, he had to remind his fingers to press down on the shutter and take images. He felt positive that at least half of them were blurry and out of focus, as much as he had been paying attention, and was thankful that there would indeed be more than one run. He nearly, not quite, but nearly, forgot to feel afraid as Black neared the finish line and as he stood from his bent position, raised a gloved hand in a wave. 

Remus, camera back hanging at his side, went to wave back, before he realized with a slight flush that Black must have sent the wave to Mary and James, who were thrilled to wave and clap back as Black pulled to his stop. Remus watched as the skier checked in briefly with his coach, a short debrief, Remus couldn’t imagine there was much, if anything, to critique about that run, before Black was off and skated his way to the chair lift to go for another run. 

“He’s such a freaking show off, but don’t let him ever know I think it's deserved.” Mary noted as Black quickly moved out of ear shot. 

“You have my word.” James swore. His attention was turned to Remus, all thought of the other racers making their way down the track forgotten. “What'dya think Mr. Marketing?” 

Remus felt no need to lie. “Wow. I mean, no wonder Dumbledore wants me to make sure to get him all over the websites. He’s uh…” He cleared his throat. “Impressive.” 

James grinned, a smile that was all at once deeply proud and mischievous. “I told you.” Remus could not fathom what James meant by that, he hadn’t told him anything about Black before his run, but he chose to ignore it. “I can’t wait to see what you two come up with.”

Remus raised an eyebrow at him. “Sorry?” 

“At your meeting later?” James asked, like it was crazy that Remus could have forgotten. “He’s going to have all sorts of ideas on how you two can work together, I’m sure.” Again, a mischievous tease that Remus was not sure he could translate from James. 

In a moment, Remus was both thrilled and intimidated. He had not been told that his meeting was going to be with Black, the same Black that Dumbledore had been so adamant about, the same Black that he had just watched ski like a god, but he supposed it did make sense. If he was meant to be the face of the mountain, they should start a working relationship. He wondered what that meant for the other ‘face of the mountain’ he had met the night before though. But, Remus reminded himself, this was all now the same Black who had completely forgotten about their meeting yesterday, and had sent someone else completely to tell him he had forgotten. And he was still a racer, privileged and arrogant, and still a skier. If Remus could remember all those things, the meeting could feel a bit more in his hands again. “If he has ideas, then maybe he should have shown to our meeting yesterday.” Remus told James, and he hoped it didn’t sound quite as bitter as it had in his head. Black had made a first impression yesterday by forgetting, and Remus had been proven wrong more than once in the past few days about first impressions, and was too stubborn to be willing to admit it could happen again. 

James just gave a bit of a shrug. Mary picked up her snowboard from where it had been resting upside down in the snow beside her. “Let’s go, James. Back to training.” 

“Yes ma’am.” James said as he went to click back into his skis. “Nice to see you again, Remus. Next time when we all don’t have gloves on let me grab your number!” 

Remus assured him that he would, and the two instructors were off down the mountain. It left Remus alone on the side of the trail, as he shot more photos of the racers on their way down, until he was sure he had enough for what was really only just an early season practice. It was interesting, though, when on Black’s second run down, he again waved over at Remus. This time, the only possible recipient for the gesture, Remus waved back. He didn’t want to think about the way his heart beat in that moment. Clearly, it must have just been the continued anxiety of being as close to the skiers as he was. 

Time drew on, and Remus only became colder and colder. He also was becoming more concerned with some of the behaviors of some of the racers, and annoyingly, more impressed by how much better Black was than any of them. Luckily, it seemed that the session had drawn to a close when Evan didn’t go back to the lift at the end of his run, but waited for Barty, and they skied off towards the lodge together. 

That meant that Black was next, and Remus watched, without his camera, the Olympians' last run. Somehow, impossibly, he had only become smoother and faster in his track. Even with the way the snow had been gouged into with repeated use of the exact same lines (which Remus tried to ignore, the sounds of the scraping ice beneath the skis had caught his breath far more than once) Black had only looked more and more comfortable. Remus did not want to think the way the man skied was beautiful, it felt against his every principle he had built for years to consider skiing anything other than dangerous and stupid, but he was not blind. He could see that Black was good. Very good. 

Even as Black pulled across the faux finish line, his coach waved him off, she had nothing to tell him. Black’ face covered with helmet, goggles and ski mask just gave a nod in her direction, and turned to where Remus was on the side lines. Black moved slowly enough on the skis, but Remus still felt himself take another step back away from the fence. Then, Black was in front of him, and said something, but it was all completely muffled by the thick ski mask on his face.

“Sorry?” Remus asked, and he -very bravely, he thought- reversed his step back, so he could try and hear better. 

There was a bit of a laugh from under the ski mask, Remus could hear that much. Then Black pulled off his gloves, and there were pale hands, with fingernails painted black, which then pulled down the ski mask and lifted the goggles. Remus found himself across from the man who had -he hoped, he thought- flirted with him at the pub just the night before, pressed close to him, with a sharp face and those grey, dangerous eyes. Black smiled, and that held no danger at all.

“Sirius?” Remus couldn’t help but blurt out, as he felt incredibly stupid.

“Remus!” Sirius responded. “Look, it was true, neither of us could forget a name like that!” 

Chapter Text

Remus did his best not to sputter as he reconciled Sirius, and Black, as the same entity in his brain, not two completely, entirely different people. He tried to do a quick scan in his brain about everything he knew about the man in front of him, which was honestly not much, and all the things that people had said about him, and honestly it seemed that perhaps Remus was entirely at fault for not having realized. There seemed to be no one he could point a finger at beyond his own assumptions. 

Sirius broke into his thoughts. “You look frozen solid. Come on, let's get inside. Your office, right?” 

Remus opened his mouth to remark that if anyone should be cold, it should be Sirius, given how light and tight the race suit appeared on him, but quickly stopped himself. Sirius absolutely did not need to know that he had been looking. “Yes, my office.” Sirius was still on the other side of the fence, and still on his skis. Remus looked down at them nervously. “You can go ahead, I’ll meet you there.” 

“No, no, that's okay.” Sirius said, and in a swift movement he used the back of his skis to release the binding, and bent down to fold them together and grab them, skis in one hand, poles in the other. Remus did absolutely not look at his ass while he did. “I’ll walk with you.” 

Sirius had evidently already decided, so there was no use in an argument. Remus waited for him to walk around the side of the fence, then they began to walk back to the lodge. As the surprise of Sirius’s face being revealed under the helmet began to wear off, the realization that it meant it was Sirius who had missed their meeting yesterday, and had not said a single thing about it at the pub last night. Sirius had to have known, they had talked explicitly about Remus’s job. It created a weird concoction of feelings in Remus’s chest. Perhaps Sirius was just an entitled racer who didn’t think twice about the time or work of other people, and on top of that, had not bothered to say anything, let alone apologize when face to face with the person he had ignored. Remus had almost been excited to be proven wrong about his initial impression of Black, but this certainly didn’t help. Although, would someone who absolutely didn’t care have decided to walk back with Remus instead of just skiing ahead? Or gone out of his way to give a goofy wave to him as he crossed the finish line? Remus’s head hurt a bit as he thought, but he decided to blame the cold wind against his skull for the pain.

 Remus focused on ensuring his boots were steady with each step, and when the ground leveled enough for him to look up, was surprised to see Sirius watching him closely. 

“Why didn’t you wear equipment to the track?” Sirius asked, his voice was light and filled entirely with curiosity, like it was such a silly thing for the employee of a ski mountain to not have been in full gear to take some photos for a website.

Remus was taken aback for just a moment. It was something he was having to get used to fast, being in a new place, where no one knew him, or knew about his accident and trauma. At home or with his family, it was never something that had to be discussed because everyone knew . He had been well aware that beginning life at a brand new place, especially at a ski mountain specifically, would come with a lot of questions from people who hadn’t seen the headlines, or been there to witness the time it took for him to be able to walk again, or leave the hospital. It was a totally refreshing thought in some ways, but completely exhausting in others. He was going to have to get used to it, he knew. 

Remus juggled his words in his head as they stepped off the snow and onto the worn wood of the lodge’s porch. “Don’t ski.” He settled on, and said shortly. He still hadn’t decided if he was annoyed at Sirius or not.

“Don’t ski?” Sirius repeated. Sirius took a step ahead, even as his heavy ski boots clattered awkwardly and held open the door for him. Remus just nodded as he walked through the door, and led the way to his office. He had no idea if Sirius would have a clue where it was. When they made their way up the stairs though, and into Remus’s office, Sirius swept in and looked around with wide eyes. “You weren't kidding about doing a ton of work in here, it already looks so different.” 

So he did know the office, which made sense, Remus supposed, he would have worked with the past marketing manager too. It did also mean that when Sirius had asked Remus to “enlighten him” on the state of the office at the pub, he had been entirely aware. That though, Remus figured he could forgive, it had been a nice conversation, he supposed. Remus kicked off his boots and sat cross-legged in his chair, Sirius, still in that dastardly tight race suit, sat opposite. He wondered if it was even necessary to wear it just for practice. He couldn’t even remember if the other ski racers had been wearing theirs, which was embarrassing. 

“Told you, there were relics from eras long past in here.” Remus said as he settled a bit further into his chair. He opened and logged into his computer, if only to have an excuse to look away occasionally from the man in front of him. When Remus looked back, Sirius was taking in the office around him, he nodded like he was impressed. 

When he saw that he had Remus’s attention again, Sirius scooted his chair forward and leaned his elbows on the desk between them. Remus took a steadying breath as he once again felt under the microscope of Sirius Black’s gaze. 

“A marketing manager from Wales, moved all the way to Maine, to work for a ski mountain, and you don’t even ski. Remus Lupin, you just keep becoming more and more mysterious. What other secrets do you have?” 

Flirting. Remus was a blind man if he could not recognize that as flirting. There were two paths in front of him, one where he flirted back with the beautiful, handsome, dangerous man in front of him, and one where he remembered that Sirius had in some ways been his first signal of an unideal working environment, was his co-worker, and most importantly, made his living doing the one thing Remus hated most in the world. 

“You’ll find that beyond all that, I’m rather quite boring.” Remus said, as he settled on a decision. 

Sirius sat back in his chair and gave him a doubtful look, and the start of a smirk. “We’ll see about that.” In the same moment Sirius pulled off his ski helmet. His hair was an absolute knotted mess. Sirius dragged fingers through it quickly, but it was hardly enough to solve any of the tangles. 

Remus shrugged, like it absolutely did not matter if Sirius Black thought Remus was boring or not. It did matter. Terribly. But it had to not matter. He needed to talk about work. “What did your relationship with the past marketing manager look like?” He asked. It seemed safe enough, until there was an amused glint in Sirius’s eyes.

“Entirely professional, in fact, I think he hated me. There's no Mr. Black in the picture, if that's what you're asking.” 

Remus willed himself to not play into Sirius’s game. He could be capable of that. “What I’m asking, because Dumbledore very clearly cares about your connection to this mountain, is what that looked like in the past for you.” 

Sirius’s gaze shifted, flickered up and down Remus. He looked confused, and Remus could hardly blame him. Likely, he was wondering what happened to the Remus he had met at the bar last night, who maybe hadn’t thrown himself at him, but had not leaned away from Sirius, physically or in words, like he was doing now. With an arm over the back of the chair Sirius, still considering, answered “Lots of photos really. Every now and then Calset will host a race, but mostly this is just where I practice, and I have to travel for events. I go, I speak positively about the mountain, it brings people in.” 

Remus nodded, it was simple enough. “You said the last marketing manager hated you?”

Sirius chuckled, but Remus did not miss the hint of solemness in it. “You’re in marketing, I’m sure you know it's helpful when your poster boy for a sport can speak positively about it at all.” His body had shifted, shoulders no longer quite as relaxed, and Sirius had become just a touch more closed in on himself. 

Remus considered the man in front of him. “A semi-famous ski racer from England, all the way in Maine, who hates what he does? Sounds mysterious.” He said. He had decided to not play into Sirius’s game, but it was a bit distressing to see how quickly Sirius had become uncomfortable, even if only subtly, and Remus found himself wanting to fix it. 

Sirius gave a rare shy smile. “It's all really just boring, I’m afraid.” 

So they both had stories, and they were both protective of them. “Well, to being boring then, I suppose.” Remus said, and he raised an invisible glass. 

“To being boring.” Sirius said, and he leaned forward again to cheers their invisible glasses together. It made them both smile. Perhaps Remus was already failing at not playing into Sirius’s games. “Now, you said you had found the manga carta in here. Got anything else fun?” 

“I got rid of a lot of it yesterday, but I’m sure we can still find some other antiques.” 

And that was how Remus’s very professional, entirely productive work meeting was shifted to the floor of his office. Sirius had taken off his ski boots, which left him in thick socks, which were crossed under legs as the two men dug like excited boys through the bottom drawer of the office closet. A trash bag was there to be used, but was so much less filled than the ones Remus had done yesterday. This was mostly Sirius’s fault, since as they sorted through old promotional items from eras long past, he set some aside because “James would find this absolutely hilarious.” 

Remus was glancing over an old binder titled ‘Trail maps and logos’ and thinking to himself it would be helpful, when there was a warmth over his shoulder. 

“These are all so out of date.” Sirius’s voice over his shoulder from where he had leant between the gap between them. “Don’t bother, we’ll get you updated maps. Are you staying in mountain lodging?” 

“No, I’ve got a cabin, down the road a bit, off of Pine St. It's an A-frame.” Remus looked up, to ask if Sirius was familiar with the street, but was stopped short in his tracks. Half of Sirius’s face was obscured by off-brand, polarized orange, pit viper sunglasses that had a layer of dust still on the lens. He barked out a loud laugh. Sirius’s face was quite close to his, and his laugh had Sirius’s face split into a grin. “What are those!”

“What could the problem be, Mr. Marketing?” Sirius asked through a laugh of his own.

Remus clenched at his stomach at the laugh and the small shock. He reached across the small distance and pulled the glasses off of Sirius’s face. Sirius stilled as Remus grabbed at each side, and pulled them away, a strand or two of black hair followed after them, but fell away as Remus inspected the glasses. “They say ‘ski Calset, 1992’ on the side. These things are older than we are.” He laughed. “I cannot believe the amount of things in here with years and dates on them, they make them impossible to use ever again.” 

Sirius held a hand to his heart like he was offended. “Impossible? I think not. Give them back, I love them.” Sirius held his hands out and made a grabby motion for the sunglasses. 

Remus handed Sirius the glasses, and once they were back on his face, Sirius sat back, still too close to be entirely professional. Remus put a hand on his chin in falsified deep thought as he took the man in front of him in. “Bit tacky.” He proclaimed. 

Sirius twitched his head so his knotted hair flipped back over his shoulders, and struck a bit of a pose. “I can live with a bit tacky. I think I can pull it off.” Remus would never admit that he just about thought the same thing.

“Pull what off?” Said a voice from the doorway, accompanied by a polite knock. 

Remus, flushed, glanced up quickly, and saw James and Peter standing in the door of his office, taking in the scene in front of them. 

Sirius turned to face the door as well. “These shades!” He said proudly. “Aren’t they sick?” 

James laughed, and Peter stifled his laugh with a hand. “Yeah mate, they look great. You should wear those to the next race for sure.” James said. 

Sirius looked to Peter for his assessment. “You’ll get all the babes with them, I’m sure.” Peter confirmed sarcastically. 

“Good, I’m trying.” Sirius responded quickly, and he took the glasses off with a half glance over his shoulder back at Remus, who felt himself flush. 

Remus stood up off the ground, to distract himself or the others, he wasn’t sure, and did his best to ignore the way his knees creaked as he did. As he stood he noticed the time on his watch flash. “Oh my god, it got so late.” It was nearly 5pm, work had ended half an hour ago, and the lifts would already be shut down. 

Sirius clicked open his phone to see the time for himself, and gave a wordless ‘o’ and took the sunglasses off his face. It was clear neither of them had spared a thought for how much time they had spent in Remus’s office. There was a brief moment of eye contact between the two, but it passed quickly.

“I was looking all over for you.” James said, clearly directed towards Sirius. “I had to enlist Pete to find you.” 

Remus could tell that Sirius was doing his best to look guilty. He wasn’t sure it was effective. 

“Sorry.” Remus broke in. “Got carried away. Sirius was helping me clean up in here.” Sirius stood from the ground, and began to pile his stolen treasures into his arms. 

“Are we walking that stuff to the dumpster then?” James asked, eyeing Sirius.

“No!” Sirius said. “These are coming home with us. They’re awesome.” 

“Okay, okay.” James said, placating, but he truly didn’t sound annoyed. 

“I trust you two are all prepped then on a marketing plan for the year with our race star?” Peter asked, it was more a jest than anything.

Remus and Sirius eyed each other again, they had absolutely done no such thing. Remus had tried, but Sirius did not seem keen on really discussing his career as an Olympic ski racer, or just racing in general. He had clammed up or changed the subject each time Remus had tried, so he had simply stopped. Remus was good at his job, he could make it work even if Sirius obviously wasn’t thrilled. The only issue he could truly foresee about the two of them working together was how often Remus would have to remind himself that Sirius was a coworker, who partook in dangerous sports that he hated. It could clearly never work. Even if each time Remus had made Sirius laugh he had felt a warm sensation in his chest, and if each time he looked over and those grey eyes were already on him, he had to look away to hide his blush. He was an adult, he could handle himself working with a coworker, even if the coworker was handsome, funny, and extremely flirtatious. It helped if Remus convinced himself that Sirius was probably like that with everyone. Plus, he had only known the man for about a day. It was a quick fascination, and it would pass easily. Remus felt sure of it. 

“Yup, just you wait till you see how effective our super detailed, all thought out, foolproof marketing plan is.” Sirius said, the last of his treasures in his arms as he moved towards the door. James stepped aside to let Sirius through, and pulled his phone out of his pocket to hand to Remus.

“Here, toss your number in. Important to have friend’s contacts in snowy New England.” He said, and Remus took James’s phone. He wondered at how quickly he had been adopted into James’s circle of friends, and how big of a circle that was. It felt nice though, to be awarded the title so quickly. James seemed easily like a good friend to have, and Hope would be so proud. He popped his name and number in, and handed the phone back to James. 

“Thanks, send me a text later so I know it's you.” Remus said. 

“Will do.” James said. “Now get out of here, it's late. You let this dog hound you enough.” 

“Hey!” Sirius protested, and he looked like he was desperately trying to work around his armful of loose items to access his own phone, but was failing. 

James ushered Sirius out though, as he hollered “Have a good night, Remus!” 

“You all too.” Remus responded, and watched the crew head out. 

He returned Peter’s wave, and as they moved down the hallway he was sure he heard Sirius whine “Wait, I want his number too.”

“Your fault for not getting it already.” James said.

Peter’s slightly distant voice sounded, saying “Yeah, now you’re the only one.” An annoyed groan from Sirius sounded, then they were out of earshot. 

Remus shook his head slightly. It certainly had been an eventful day, even if he felt like he hadn’t really accomplished anything concrete at all. There was a bit of the mess on the floor of random items strewn about from when Remus would pull out something to show Sirius, or the other way around. That could be a problem for later though, James was right, it was late. He didn’t want to wake up to another email from Dumbledore though, so he needed to do just a little bit more work before he could leave. He pulled out the SD card from his camera, and uploaded the photos from the day to the work computer. He had to wait as they loaded in, and he pulled out two favorites, formulated a caption, and scheduled them to post at the next hour mark. There, a bit of productivity. 

So Remus pulled together his personal items, put his boots and coat back on, and walked out to his car. It was one of the very few still left in the lot. The short ride was just long enough to hear a few songs on the radio, and once home, immediately started a fire. He allowed himself a long, and very warm shower, he felt he deserved it after he had spent an entire day on the side of the mountain. 

After, with a dinner filling his stomach, Remus sent a text to Hope. He knew it would be late at night at home, but that she would appreciate it in the morning nonetheless. He let her know that day two had gone well, and yes, he was actually making friends. As he had pulled under blankets, ready to mindlessly watch television until he was practically asleep, he got a text from one such new friend.

[Unknown number]

Hey Remus, it's James! Wanted to make sure you have my number

I’d love to chat with you about working on marketing the ski school this week if you’ve got time. Our opening is this weekend.

And Mary would too! You met her today

Remus quickly created a new contact for James, then responded. 

Remus

Hi, James! Yes, I’ll look back at my training schedule first time tomorrow and let you know. I’m looking forward to also having you guys start lessons, lots I can do with that

James

Awesome!! 

I can also add you to a Calset group chat. It's massive, so don’t worry about it, but works well for covering shifts (not that you have to worry about that with us) and just general get together things. It's not officially work, and filled with all the cool peeps

Remus

That would be great, appreciate it!

James sent a thumbs up, and a second later Remus got a notification that he had been added to a chat, called Calset’s Finest with an overwhelming amount of phone numbers in it. The only two he had saved were James and Peter, and it seemed like enough of a start. James had said not to worry about it, so he felt no need to send a text at the moment. It was late enough, and he could easily introduce himself to the group later. As he was ready to put his phone down, Remus got another text, in a private message. It was an unknown number, of two screenshots of the images Remus had posted to Calset’s social media. 

Both photos were, of course, of Sirius. Dumbledore had asked for that explicitly. The first image in the set was Sirius as he glided effortlessly across the course. His skis were up on a high edge as the photo had frozen him in the middle of an arch of a turn. One arm and pole outstretched, and a tail of snow followed behind him. Now that Remus knew who it was, it was easy to see how it was Sirius, and how of course he looked so graceful on the hill. A bit of black hair had even escaped out of his helmet, and flew behind him, which explained the knots. The second photo, still Sirius, was far less dramatic. It was Sirius waving as he had finished his run. Gloved hand extended towards the viewer. Remus wasn’t sure if the photo just had captured the energy, or if because he knew it was there, but he could feel Sirius’s smile behind the ski mask. The caption of both photos read “The season may be early, but that hasn’t stopped Sirius Black as he welcomes you back to Calset for the 2024-25 ski season. Visit our site to secure your season pass!” 

The photos in the message were quickly followed by two texts.

[Unknown number]

I was waving at you, not the anonymous internet users 

But great photos :) 

Remus didn’t bother to try and not smile at the messages. It's not like there was anyone around to see. Separately, he received another text from James. 

James

Oops Just heard Sirius chuckle evilly from the other room. guessing he got your number from the chat. Sry. hope thats okay

Remus

No worries at all

James

:) 

Remus had to consider for a few moments how he wanted to respond to Sirius as he created a contact. He saved and used the screenshot of his own image, Sirius waving at the camera - at him - as the profile photo. 

Remus

Stalker

But thank you. Told you I was good at my job

Sirius

Not stalking if we’re in a mutual group chat now, but call me what you like

And I told you I was good at my job! See how many likes you’ve got already, you’re welcome

Remus rolled his eyes at that. He set a mental reminder to himself to do a bit of looking on the internet, to find out just how well-known Sirius was in the ski world. There would certainly be time tomorrow after he finished the last of his HR training. That thought reminded him, and as he typed to Sirius and sent a screenshot of his own. It was not a smooth transition at all, but he had been dying to share it with someone that morning.

Remus

You’ll never believe this diversity video I had to watch for my training. Look at this sad little vampire, he was supposed to teach me about being accepting of different sexualities and disabilities in the workplace I think?

Sirius

AHAHAHA thats crazy and SO bad

look at his upset little pointy teeth, he wants to be accepted so bad :( LMAO

Remus

Doesn’t make it easy when he can only work the night shift

Sirius

So true. Poor guy, will never have friends

Looking forward to working more on our super detailed and exciting marketing plan. Busy tomorrow, but lunch the day after?

Remus

Sounds good :) 

Remus shut his phone off and plugged it in to charge. The smile emoticon reflected his own, very real smile. He already had a better feeling about his first few days at Calset than he had about any other job he worked. That was completely unexpected, but he figured that perhaps the terrifying fear of working somewhere that was a constant reminder of his accident and injuries could be manageable, if he could create a group of people around him that made it worthwhile. 

Chapter Text

Remus’s first stop the next morning was the HR office. There were only a few doors in the wing, and a sign with golden lettering that read “Lily Evans” made his exact destination easy to find. The door was slightly ajar, and Remus gave a polite knock. 

“Come on in!” Said a cheery voice, with far more energy than Remus could ever remember mustering for the first hour of a work day. He slipped through the door and found himself in a cozy office. The exposed wooden beams that ran through most of the lodge were present, and a corner of the room was occupied by a soft looking couch covered in floral blankets and pillows. Lily sat behind a neat desk, and soft music played from her computer speaker. Her red hair was pulled back in a braid with loose bangs, and she had a soft cardigan on.“Hi Remus, how goes it?” There was no other office chair for her to sit in, like there was in his office, so he resigned himself to standing awkwardly until Lily gestured for him to sit on the couch. Remus perched at the edge, the blankets felt a bit dangerous for his still sleep-ridden body, he had accidentally gotten too into a book last night, and stayed up far too late. 

“Things are going well, thank you.” Remus replied. “How have things been going for you?”

“Oh, fine.” Lily waved a hand. “These few weeks are always a bit busy for us, updating the info of the seasonal employees if they’ve had changes, new hire things, but it won’t last forever. Makes the days go faster than they do in the summer at least.” 

“You’re full time for the 12 months then?” Remus asked. 

“You betcha.” Lily responded. “It gets really quiet around here in the summer. We have a few operations things, and guests still use the hotel and lodging, but quiet still. None of us full timers ever want to admit it outloud, but I’ll let you in on the secret, we enjoy it when all the instructors come back.” She gave a little wink. 

“That's good to know.” Remus said with a smile. He was full time too, and while the idea of a quiet, empty mountain, green with summer and long days of sunshine sounded heavenly to him now, he already knew that it would not feel the same. “Thanks for letting me in on the secret.” 

Lily nodded, and pulled a mug of coffee to her chest. “So, what can I do you for?” She asked, her voice shifted into more of a business tone. Remus raised a quick eyebrow at the change. He hoped it wasn’t noticeable though, he was trying so hard not to let judgement show so quickly on his face. Lily though, it seemed was too quick for him. “Please. No one just casually wanders down to HR just to chat with me.” She said, it was light, but clearly the truth. Remus felt a brief wave of guilt, that's exactly what he had done. Lily gave a thoughtful look then. “Well, almost no one. Sometimes I think people make excuses to ‘have’ to come talk…” She put air quotes around ‘have’. 

Remus’s wave subsided a little bit. That was probably a bit more in line with what he actually had done. In no other job would he have gone so far out of his way to make a small complaint about online training he hardly paid attention to. The woman he had met on his first day though had such a fierce energy about her, he felt like he could probably talk to her about anything. It was a bit like she had a magnet, and even after knowing her for such a small amount of time, he knew that that magnet pulled to misfits and outcasts. Brought them to her, and she, perhaps one of them secretly, would open her arms to them, embrace them, and send them better equipped into the world. Equipped with a friend.  “So, just talking and catching up is enough of an excuse to come bother HR?” Remus asked.

Lily beamed. “It always will be. People forget that's why most people get into this role in the first place. We love talking with people. Well, most of us. I haven’t had the life sucked out of me just yet.” Remus laughed. “But, you did have an excuse this time.” Lily pressed. It truly was like she could see right through him. 

“Yeah, I did.” Remus said, a bit bashful. As long as none of this came off as him coming onto Lily, that was so far from his intentions, but she had proven to be a quick read of him, both today and at the pub, so he felt safe that she wouldn’t think that of him. “It was about those diversity trainings…”

***

Remus spent more time than he had expected in Lily’s office. The sunlight had poured through the window, the sounds of Fleetwood Mac on the speakers, and of course Lily herself, made the space so comfortable and inviting. He had come into Lily’s office with his laptop in a messenger bag, and she had invited him to continue work on the online trainings on her couch, as she used an electric kettle to make them both a cup of tea. So he spent the morning there, as they both passively worked, and got to know each other better. They liked similar music, they both had a penchant for the outdoors, but at the same time could spend hours and hours in a cozy nook with a good movie. They got on well. 

The conversation had paused when Lily had left to go to the bathroom. Remus had largely finished the online trainings, made easier and more engaging if he got to turn his laptop around every so often to laugh at something on the screen with Lily. She would laugh with him, shake her head, and take another note on the long list she had started of examples of needing an updated program. In the silence Remus took the opportunity to do a bit of research that he had been meaning to do. With google open, he searched Sirius Black’s name, and was a bit dumbfounded at the amount of results. 

Article after article featured Sirius’s name. Remus clicked on the first one, and scrolled through the article. It mentioned all things expected of an article for an Olympian. He had been skiing for practically as long as his legs were strong enough to hold him up, he had joined teams at a young age and been clearly impressive from the start. Sirius had had a path forged to success like it had almost been inevitable. There was mention of a younger brother, also a ski racer, based always on different mountains. His parents too were apparently legacy Olympains, having met via the sport. It seemed that snow ran through Sirius’s veins. There was nothing in the article, or the next, or the next, that gave Remus any hint to the ghosts that had passed over Sirius’s face when they spoke of the sport the day before. 

What did catch Remus’s eye, however, was the section of one article that explained that Sirius had gained popularity beyond just a niche crowd of ski enthusiasts. He was the athlete that people turned on their tv to watch, even if they had never seen a chair lift before in their life. Sirius was the athlete that scored brand deals, did ad campaigns, and apparently, had a few very popular photo shoots. Remus clicked a link to another article that covered them, unworried about using his work laptop - this was all just research for his position after all - and quickly saw why they had blown up on the internet. Sirius was a famous athlete, and on top of that, apparently, a famous bad-boy athlete. Remus felt his jaw go a bit slack. Sirius must have had a brand sponsorship with a motorbike company at some point. There were at least a dozen images of Sirius with a motorbike, a vintage cruiser, and Sirius in tight pants the same color, and a leather jacket opened to a white shirt. The jacket itself had little silver stars embroidered into the upper parts of the sleeves. In each Sirius was lounged across the motorbike, either laid across the seat, or a true action shot, with his hair flying wildly around him, hands tight on the handle. Towards the end, there was one with Sirius sat backwards on the seat of the bike, his back rested against the handle, legs outstretched in front of him, one knee up, without the jacket, that showed off long, deceptively muscular arms, one with patchwork tattoos across it, and the other arm, further away in the photo, a tattoo sleeve of some kind.

Remus, without thinking, sat up off the back of the couch to lean forward just a bit, towards his computer screen to make out what any of the tattoos were of. It was all purely for research purposes, it was important for his job for him to know, he told himself. The excuse did not stand up to any amount of scrutiny though when Lily came back into the office. He blushed furiously, his own reaction more damning than anything, and went to shift his laptop so Lily would not see what was on his screen. 

Lily stopped dead in her tracks at his blush. “Something interesting in the HR training, Remus?” She asked. 

“Uh, no.” He said, there was almost no way to play it cool at this point. “Just doing a bit of research. For marketing things.” 

“Hm.” Lily said, as she unfroze and moved back to her seat at the desk. As she pulled a blanket into her lap, Remus did not miss a mischievous smile. “Wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with our most celebrity resident here at Calset, would it?” Remus narrowed his eyes at her. Lily just shrugged under his scrutiny. “I had him pinned as your type immediately. Why do you think I sent you over to the bar at the pub the other night?” 

Remus gawked at her. “How is it you’ve managed to pin me so fast?” He asked, desperately embarrassed and impressed.

“Ha!” Lily said, gleefully. “No denial!” Remus shut his laptop then, and buried his head into his hands, and gave a slight shake. “I just know things.” Lily said, with the air of an oracle. Remus groaned, so Lily added, “Plus, after lunch on your first day, when James came over to speak to us, remember? He messaged me after that Sirius had been asking about you, and if I knew if you’d be coming to the pub. So Pete and I needed to be sure to invite you.” 

Remus looked up at her at that. He hadn’t remembered seeing Sirius in the lodge at that first lunch, but there had been so, so many hidden faces. Remus did not want to acknowledge how interesting, deeply fascinating, and improbable it was that Sirius had been asking about him even after just a brief glance across a lodge. “Wait.” He said, as a thought dawned on him. “I had a meeting scheduled with Sirius for that very first day, if he knew about me…was asking after me…” he couldn’t help but sound incredulous at the thought, “Why in the world would he not show up to that meeting?” 

Lily considered for a moment, then shrugged. “Men are mysterious. You’d have to ask him.” 

There was a new voice at Lily’s door, and Lily and Remus both looked up as they heard someone say “Men are so mysterious. Ask who what?” 

James had leant into the room, and even though Remus was as far from a religious man as one could get, he almost prayed that James had not heard the rest of the conversation about his best friend. Remus was thankful that he had already closed his computer. The tab of Sirius’s photoshoot was still certainly the first thing that would be seen upon opening it back up again though, he would have to remember that. 

“Nothing, nothing.” Lily answered for him, and with her power, the conversation had transitioned. “What can I do for you, James?” 

Without missing a beat, James stepped fully into the room. “I just wanted to check, make sure that my deposit update had gone through?” He rocked back and forth on his heels, hands clasped behind his back. 

“I can check that pretty easily.” Lily said, and she turned to her computer. 

While she was distracted, James looked over to Remus. Remus had texted him earlier that morning, after he had confirmed his calendar for the rest of the day, that he could chat with James and ski school stuff anytime after lunch. “Any plans for lunch today?” James asked. Remus thought for a moment about the cold cuts and small bag of chips he had packed himself this morning, but shook his head no. “Great.” James said, as he looked back at Lily. “Maybe we can all grab some together.” 

Lily had finished a rapid succession of clicking, and turned back across her desk. “Your deposit should be all set. It all went through no issues.” 

“Wonderful!” James beamed, far too excited for the caliber of the news. “Care to grab lunch with Remus and I?” 

“Oh sure, why not.” Lily said, like it was half a burden, but if Lily could read Remus so well already, he hoped that it went both ways. He did not miss the way she straightened her cardigan, or the ever so faint pink that crossed her freckled face. She looked at the clock on the wall, and stood as she said “Reckon we can do that now, beat the rest of you skiing hooligans to the line.” She studied James for his response. 

James raised his arms in an exaggerated shrug. “You won’t hear me denying the hooligans claim.” He held the door open for Remus and Lily. “Let's grab Pete on the way.” 

***

At the end of his third day of work at Mount Calset, Remus called his mom on his way home from work. They had planned it that way, so Hope would know to stay up a bit late that night, to take the call. They spoke on the phone for a long time, long after Remus had pulled into his house, and made himself a snack. He listened as Hope described the various small changes at home, how his father had finished fixing the fence, how the neighbors had started coming over more often, and how the animals were doing. Her soft voice and the sounds of the house in the background made Remus’s heart ache for home. On his own couch, alone in Maine, he laid down with his eyes closed as he listened, and could hear the kettle whistle past his mothers voice. He could hear the creak of the armchair as his father sat down and kicked his legs out. He knew how the cold night air would have already begun to sweep itself under the crack in the door, and how his mother would have put a stopper, handmade and filled with rice, to keep the heat in. Remus felt well and properly homesick.

When Hope could sense that Remus’s quiet attentiveness had shifted to quiet sadness, she turned the questions to him, and Remus answered all of them. Yes, the first few days had gone well, yes the people there seemed nice, yes it was stressful to be back on a mountain, but yes he was using his coping skills, yes he was making friends. When Hope ended the call by making sure that Remus wasn’t lying about any of it, and that he knew she was proud of him, he felt a bit better. 

In truth, even at the end of only day three, Remus had never so felt a part of something in his life. As a child he had been homeschooled, too far out in the country to make going to a school worth it, and Hope had trained to be a teacher, so it made sense. When he got older, and when he had been ready for college and university, he had made a few friends, had tried a few dates, but he still had been shy, and felt on the border of everything. And that had not been long after his accident, so scars were still fresh, and the damages to his body and mind had been enough to keep most people away. His first few jobs had been similar, he had been young, full of ideas, but there had never been anyone to really listen to it. Remus had always lived quite a lonely life. It created a constant dull throb of yearning, but it was also his normal. There never had been a real reason to seek out anything besides it. 

Calset already felt so different from everything else Remus had ever known. There was a strong community already built up, one that could've so easily kept its gates shuttered to him, a stranger with scars and a past, who eyed the trails warily. Instead, he had already found himself welcomed by so many open arms, and somehow, Remus knew that it was all just more than out of polite necessity. He had gone to lunch with James, Lily, and Pete, and they had indeed beaten the line for food, but the group at their table had so quickly expanded. Mary had joined, along with Marlene, and her girlfriend Dorcas. They all clearly knew each other well, had many years of interactions together. Remus had expected to do as he had always done, to take a backseat in the conversation, to sit on the edge, listen in to jokes he didn’t understand, nod when needed, and to be the first to leave the table. 

Not one of them had let that be the case though. There were so many questions for Remus, and not just about his job and what he would be doing about the mountain, but questions that engaged him in genuine conversation. If someone at the table brought up someone else, time was taken to explain to Remus who it was, their significance, and if they were somewhere in the room, pointed out. If there was an old joke shared, Remus was invited into its meaning. There was hardly ever a lull in the conversation, everyone always had something to say, and Remus surprised himself by far more than once being the one to jump in with a thought. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what it was, but he felt invited to, welcomed, to share his voice and himself with the group of people at the table. It was comfortable and warm. 

Now, even hours after lunch had passed, and his conversation with his mother over, and practically ready for bed, Remus still felt a slight buzz from the feeling it had created within him. Belonging. That's what he would call it, if he was asked to name it. It felt precious, and sacred, and each time he worried that it would only last for so long, or could be easily shattered, he thought about the way Marlene had laughed at one of his jokes, or how James had slung an easy arm around his shoulder. Or he thought about the way Peter suggested Remus made sure to have everyone at the table's number saved into his phone, and he had. 

In the afternoon he had worked with James on a plan for promoting the ski school, and he casually (he hoped)  had asked where Sirius was that day. James had told him about some mandatory race thing he had to sit through, but to trust him that Sirius would have much rather had lunch with the crew. Remus had casually (he hoped) mentioned that he and Sirius were meant to grab lunch tomorrow, and James had just smiled, and told him that should be fun. That meeting had gone well too, and Remus had left feeling confident in their plan for bringing in customers of all ages and ability to the ski school, and feeling confident that if James Potter ever asked anything of him, he would do it. 

The day had given Remus a lot to think about, and a lot to feel as well. It was like he held a small handful of pieces, to a puzzle that was mostly complete. He found himself excited. There were nerves there too, of course, he hadn’t completely changed over the course of a day, but Remus found that excitement for the season, the year, his time at Calset in general, ruled over everything else. As long as he could keep that excitement at the forefront, and the bubble of friendly faces close to him, he thought for the first time that he could probably survive working at a ski mountain. It was incredible, he thought, how quickly his comfort zone could have expanded, and how what had felt like an impossible, irresponsible thing for him to do, had moved to be within his grasp. 

***

Remus’s positivity lasted him the entire rest of that night, and the morning that followed as well. In fact, it lasted all the way until he noticed it was just about time from lunch, and he had not heard from Sirius yet at all. They were supposed to grab food together that day, and Remus, emboldened, had sent a quick message to Sirius late that morning saying he was hopeful that there would be curly fries for lunch that day, like there had been the day prior. He had received no response. Remus had done his best to brush it off, sure that Sirius was just busy skiing and didn’t have his phone on him. 

Remus wasn’t sure if they were meant to meet down in the main lodge with the food court, or if they were going to walk from somewhere first, and after he had straightened his jumped - a coppery red color his mom had mentioned before made his eyes stand out - enough times, he decided that he was supposed to meet Sirius there. So through the lodge Remus moved, the path already becoming familiar to him. He waited at the edge of the line, and checked his watch regularly. He could feel that his stomach was starting to turn a bit sour, and it felt even worse compared to the warmth he had felt at this time yesterday, that Sirius had forgotten him. Again. 

He gave up eventually, and ordered himself lunch. He hadn’t packed a back-up. There were no curly fries. As he paid, and moved out to the large area with seats, in a last ditch effort, he scanned the area for a short frame and black hair. In the far back, tucked away behind a wooden beam, Remus spotted him. Sirius was hunched over his phone, and as Remus, not in total control of his own feet, moved closer, he could see an already eaten lunch. When he was right in front of Sirius, he stood awkwardly, and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. 

“Hey.” Remus said, annoyed at how uncertain he sounded. It was practically a question. 

Sirius looked up from his phone, his long hair was knotted, and almost hid his face like a curtain. There were dark rings around his eyes though, like he hadn’t slept. Sirius’s eyes seemed caught on Remus, and caught on a breath. It was an awkward second of time, but Sirius hadn’t responded, and Remus felt very much stood up.

“Thought we were grabbing lunch together?” Remus said, and he inclined his head towards Sirius’s empty tray.

Sirius looked down at his own tray, like it confused him too. “Oh.” Was all he said for a moment. He looked back up at Remus, and he had the decency to look a bit regretful. “Sorry. Forgot.” 

The word hit Remus flat against his chest, and he forgot his attempt to not show judgement on his face, and knew both of his eyebrows had raised. “Forgot?” He asked. Remus felt the urge to grab Sirius’s phone that sat in front of him, and look for the probably read text about lunch that Remus had sent not long ago. He kept his hands on his tray though. 

“Yeah, sorry.” Sirius said. His tone was tired, and the general lack of energy and light about him was so startling, that it would not have taken much for Remus to be convinced that this was an entirely different man than the one he had spent hours sat on his office floor with. 

“Forgot? Like the first meeting we were supposed to have?” Remus asked, not politely, but not harshly enough that Sirius could still give him any explanation. Lily had told him he’d just have to ask Sirius why he had avoided that first meeting if he had been so intrigued by Remus. A second time now, it was all the more confusing, and with a lot more hurt, now that he had thought they had begun to be friends. Clearly he was wrong about something. Sirius hardly reacted. His eyes just fluttered a little, still dim, still silent. Remus let another moment pass, which he tried to not feel pathetic about, how readily he might have accepted any explanation. Still, nothing. “Okay, well, next time you ‘forget’ have the decency to reply and let me know.” Remus said with a gesture at Sirius’s phone, where he knew his message sat. He meant to walk right off after, but annoyingly, he still let a minute pass for Sirius to respond or bite back. 

When there was nothing, Remus did turn and walk away. He spotted Lily and Mary at a table together, and when they waved him over, he joined them. They gave him concerned looks, and Lily opened her mouth to speak. Remus cut her off with a shrug. “Rather not talk about it, Lily.” He said, feeling suddenly tired himself. “Tell me about your days?” He asked the girls, and they did, gladly. Remus listened, but mostly was busy going back and forth on calculating how many times he had judged Sirius Black wrong in a few short days, and trying to settle on which judgement was the most honest. As much as he no longer wanted it to be, he worried that the original ‘self absorbed prick’ assumption had been the correct one. Remus did not feel good about being right about that one. 

Chapter Text

For the rest of Remus’s first week, then the next few weeks after at Calset he did his best to buckle down on his work. Luckily he had not received any more emails from Dumbledore requiring him to attend any more race practices. So, he was able to achieve two of his goals. The first was focusing his marketing efforts on the ski school and natural beauty of the mountain. His second goal, of course, was to avoid Sirius Black. 

Remus couldn’t help but feel hurt after he had been stood up for his lunch date, no, just lunch with a coworker. Over the next few days, the way Sirius had told him he had ‘forgot’ would pop into his head, and the uncomfortable feelings would surge again. It was not a nice thing, he decided, to be forgotten. Mostly, Remus had found himself worried that if Sirius had suddenly decided to scorn him, it would mean that the rest of his new co-workers would too. Remus had accepted it would make sense for them to, James and Sirius were clearly tied a bit at the hip, and the rest of the pieces seemed to fall into place after them. So Remus had expected all those friendships to dissolve on his end quite quickly, he was brand new, did not have the years of shared experiences together, and clearly Sirius had taken a disliking to him.

It was a surprise, and a pleasant one at that, to realize this was not at all the case. He spent plenty of time in Lily’s office, comfortable and relaxed, they traded book and music recommendations. Peter made frequent visits to his office, they talked work of course, but also favorite board games, and Peter filled him in on various workplace dramas. Marlene and Dorcas were nothing but friendly to Remus, and he found himself invited on a winter night walk with them, as soon as there would be enough natural light and the temperatures not below freezing. Mary tried hard to let Remus be taught to snowboard, but with each polite decline where he pretended his hands didn’t shake at the thought, Mary would let it go, and never tease him far enough that Remus felt totally uncomfortable. 

And James, incredibly, hadn’t written off Remus either. They didn’t talk about Sirius, although Remus had a sense that James wanted to. But he invited Remus often to come observe his ski lessons, with adults and children alike. He was a wonder to watch. He could have just about anyone start with the shakiest of legs, poorest of posture, and the most fear in their eyes. By the end of their time together the adults would eagerly shake James’s hand as they offered him handsome tips, and said they never could have imagined improving so quickly. Children would skate off to their parents with utter joy in their tiny bodies, showing off, and smiling ear to ear. It was with endless positivity and encouragement, and patience abound, that James seemed to be able to teach anyone to ski.

 In between James’s ski lessons, that Remus would watch far off to the sides in his boots with his camera, they would talk about a magnitude of other things. The mountain, Maine, home, their other coworkers - Remus picked up how quickly James could turn any conversation into one about Lily - their goals, and life. When James asked Remus questions, he would listen, attentive, and respond with statements that showed he had listened. Even more favorably, in Remus’s opinion, James had the ability to talk endlessly. It allowed Remus to learn, to listen, to be a part of a conversation and not feel any pressure to be the one to guide it. 

On top of all that, Remus was doing his job well. His posts were getting incredible engagement. There would be thrilled comments when Remus would post pictures of visitors, and they found themself on the site. Post after post showed the happiest faces, thrilled with their service, and thrilled with their day at the mountain. Remus had also enlisted the help of all his new friends, and they would take their own photos from across the mountain and trails where Remus would not go. Even if they were not as high quality as the photos with his nice camera, it completed the picture of the mountain, and no one had to notice that without their help, there would only be pictures from the base of Calset. 

Occasionally, from his office window, he could see the race course set up on the same trail. Remus would do his best not to look, but when his gaze shifted out the window, he - annoyingly - could always tell when it was Sirius that flew down the mountain. From the distance, the speeds he reached seemed even more impossible, even more frightening, and Remus would do his best to not watch. It wasn’t easy. 

 On his days off he would tell himself he would go walk around local stores and explore his new community, but warm blankets, and a cozy fire, and the seduction of sleep always won out. The sensation of actually having reasons to look forward to his days at work again though, was new, and his mother was thrilled to hear it. 

With as busy as he was, time passed quickly for Remus. Before he knew it, he woke up the morning after Christmas day. Calset had been open, for those crazy enough to spend the day on the slopes, but Remus had spent the day in. With the time off, he spent a great deal of time on facetime with his parents. His need to be at Calset for the busy Christmas break meant that he hadn’t been able to fly home, and especially with being such a recent new hire, he felt it would have been difficult to request time off. His mother had promised that the following year they would come visit him there, when he would perhaps be less busy. Remus knew it was their way of manifesting that he would still be employed at the same place for longer than a calendar year. They had mailed presents over to him though, and he had done the same. Remus had received a new record to add to his collection, and a pair of mittens, thick and warm, knitted by his mom from wool of the farm’s sheep. They were precious to him. He told Hope as much.

Remus had gone to sleep that night early, after a few glasses of wine. He had planned a long time to sleep it off, the following day would be a busy one at the mountain. Christmas break, and Calset was hosting its first real race, not just a practice. He knew he would be expected to photograph it for social media, as well as to use across all other marketing aspects, but knew it would be busy enough to be fine.

Christmas had not been white, but the sky had been grey with signs that it might snow. When Remus’s alarm went off the next day, it was in a bright room. Out his window, the world had changed overnight. The greys and pale browns of a cold winter that had seen very little snow were gone, covered by a plush, and incredibly deep blanket of snow. The pines out the back of Remus’s cabin were dropped heavily, boughs burdened with snow. As he moved down the stairs and to the front of the a-frame, he reasonably guessed that it had snowed at least three feet while he slept, and the storm had not stopped yet. Remus cursed himself for not having had checked the weather the night before. He had accidentally become compliant with the lack of snow so far. 

When Remus saw how deeply covered his car was, he rubbed his hands aggressively into his face, then looked at the clock that hung on the wall. He pulled on boots and his jacket, a hat and his new mittens and went to start the car and grab a shovel to try and dig it out. It seemed such a feeble attempt though, and as he waded into the white world outside, he noticed that not even the road that led to his cabin had been plowed. It was just far enough off the main road that it could have been forgotten, or just not deemed important enough. Remus ignored the bile thought that again, he had been forgotten, with reminders of the community he was building for himself. There would simply be no way for him to get the car out, or shovel the entire road himself. Even opening the driver side door had been a fight. He took the keys out of the ignition.

In defeat, Remus went back inside. Even for only the few minutes he had been outside, his gear was covered with snow, and it stuck like velcro. He shook out his hair, the curls that had stuck out from under his hat already wet with the melting snow. There seemed to be no reason to change out of his pajamas, and he turned on the kettle as he pulled out his phone. He quickly emailed Dumbledore, as professionally as he could muster without caffeine in his system about his predicament, then opened the group chat Calset’s Finest. It was filled with the friends Remus had made over the past few weeks - and also Sirius, but he was mostly quiet in the chat - and he had quickly been able to ensure each number within had a name attached. There were even profile photos for most of them, goofy selfies that his new friends had secretly taken on his phone when he wasn’t looking. 

Calset’s Finest

Remus

Hey all. I’m either going to be super late today, or not able to come in at all. They forgot to plow my road. Take some pictures for me today?

Mary

Yes, pictures you will have!

James

Oh no! 

Good thing you don’t ski. otherwise you’d be so upset to miss this sick pow!

Peter

We’ll cover for you if Dumbledore comes asking

Lily

Yes! Be safe! Much rather you not come in then get in an accident or something

We’ll miss you though, of course

Marlene

[gif of Jack Nickleson in The Shining, frozen in a snowbank]

This u?

Remus

Thats me

Thanks all!

With promises of pictures, and a curt response from Dumbledore that it was fine, but to come in if the roads were clear, Remus settled in for another cozy day in his house. With breakfast in his stomach, a fire going, and the snow outside falling now at a sleepy pace, Remus couldn’t help but feel the same. With an unopened book in his lap, Remus very quickly fell back asleep on his couch.

 The nap did not last a great length though, as Remus woke with his heart pounding, and realized that his door was being knocked on. He laid completely still for a moment, as headlines of future papers ran through his head, all describing the random Welsh man murdered in Maine during a snowstorm. As the knocking continued though, Remus had to realize that it was unlikely for a murderer to politely knock enough times to wake someone up, instead of just breaking in and getting it over with. As he stood, he spared a thought to his flannel pajamas pants and t-shirt, but went to answer the door. 

It opened to a cold gust of wind, and snowflakes flew into Remus’s face. They blinded him for a moment, and when he blinked open his eyes he was met with a figure almost completely covered head to toe in snow gear. Snow boots, pants, a jacket that seemed to be zipped tight over many other layers, a scarf pulled up to the person's nose, and a hat pulled down almost just enough to cover the person's eyes. Almost. Grey eyes peered up at Remus from under the red and gold hat, grey eyes and thick lashes that Remus had been doing his best to not think about. It mostly had been working, but there they were again. He hardly noticed the chill on his bare arms.

“Sirius?” Remus gaped. He peered around him, and saw a deep line of tracks in the snow. No car was in sight. He looked back down at the man in front of him. “Uh, what are you doing here?”

Sirius shivered in his spot. “Um…” Sirius paused, like he hadn’t thought this far ahead. “You said you were snowed in?” He spread his hands in a weak ‘ta-da’ movement. “Rescue mission?” When all Remus could do was stare at him, and the white empty world behind him, Sirius spoke again. “I’m bloody freezing, mate, will you let me in?”

“Oh!” Remus said, and shook his head, as if that would make all the thoughts settle into place. He stepped back into his house, and gave enough room for Sirius to enter. The man was utterly covered in snow. He lowered his scarf, and that sharp nose ran a bit from the transition from the cold to the warmth of the house. He wiped at it quickly with an also wet sleeve, which didn’t accomplish much. Remus watched every movement, still confused. Sirius brushed snow off of his arms, and it landed on Remus’s door mat. “Did you walk all the way here?” Remus asked, incredulous. 

Sirius gave him a look like he was the crazy one in this situation. “You live miles away, Remus. No.” His black hair was coming out from under his hat in wet, half frozen curls. “I drove over on the main roads as far as they were plowed. Then I walked in.”

“Then you walked in.” Remus said, as if it was a reasonable thing for him to do. The main road was still quite a distance from Remus’s. 

“Yeah.” Sirius said with a shrug, like maybe it wasn’t a big deal. Those cold eyes assessed Remus, up and down, and he suddenly remembered how very much in his pajamas he was. Remus was also baffled, and a touch annoyed at how quickly, under his gaze, Sirius’s past behavior had slipped away, no matter how much it didn’t line up with his actions at the moment. So, Remus stared right back. It wasn’t like it was a great task. Sirius shifted. “So, should we go in to the mountain?” 

Remus narrowed his eyes slightly, unable to solve the puzzle of a man in front of him, then thought to himself that it might just be easier to give in. “Give me a moment to get dressed.” He said, as he turned. 

Sirius did not move from his spot at the door, but Remus had the sense that probably nothing in his house was escaping his assessment. He suddenly felt thankful he was a relatively tidy man, even when he didn’t expect company. He moved about the house quickly. His toothbrush hung out of the side of his mouth as he pulled a sweater over his head, and zipped up pants. Based on Sirius’s appearance, he knew that extra layers were an absolute necessity, so he added his waterproof snow pants and jacket. He felt like he could hardly lower his arms by the time he met Sirius back at the door. 

“Ready?” The shorter man asked. 

“I’m starting to think you’re a crazy man.” Remus accused, as he opened the door for Sirius and they both stepped back outside. 

“Starting? Just now?” Sirius asked, like he had disappointed himself. “I should be trying harder then.” 

Remus snorted, then set out first, and did his best to stick to the tracks that Sirius had already created on his way in. They were already being filled by the snow that continued to fall, but it was at least a start. Remus could only imagine how difficult Sirius’s walk to his house had been. Then he noticed Sirius plodding along beside him, he was having to raise his legs high, and with each step he was sinking through untouched snow. 

“What are you doing?” Remus asked as he stopped in his place. Sirius took another step ahead before he turned back to him.

“What? Walking?” 

“Follow along in my tracks, it’ll be much easier.” Remus said, and waved a gloved hand behind him. 

“Okayyy.” Sirius said, like it hardly made sense, and Remus took a few steps ahead to make new tracks for Sirius to step in line to. 

Remus had to turn his head, and lower his scarf from his chin to speak, but it meant the snow wasn’t blowing right in his face, so it was fine. “Aren’t you a professional skier? How have you never learned to properly walk in the snow?” He was stepping carefully with his long legs to make his steps close enough that Sirius would not struggle.

Sirius was still slightly huddled, but already having to make a bit less effort in his walk. “Professional skier and having to save people from being snowed in are completely different things.” He said, a bit haughty. 

Remus, who had been homeschooled on a farm, and always loved the natural world had to wonder if maybe it was fair that Sirius didn’t know. “It's called wolf-walking. It's how packs of wolves walk in the snow, they know to follow in each other's steps to make it easier for each of them in turn.” 

Sirius considered. “Except for the one in front.” 

Remus shrugged. “Someone has to do it.” 

Remus could practically hear Sirius roll his eyes. “Okay, wolf-man.” 

Their walk transitioned into silence as the effort wore on them. Their breaths became heavier, and their steps more labored. Remus pressed on through the snow, and did his best to stick to what had to be the covered road. Most of his normal landmarks were gone. Soon though, he was able to see distinct shiny, black metal over the dip of where the main road must have been plowed. 

“Is that it?” Remus said, and stopped, to confirm, but also mostly to catch his breath. Sirius must have been walking with his head down to step into his prints, because without notice, Remus was almost knocked over by the impact of Sirius’s body. 

“Sorry!” Sirius said as he quickly grabbed onto the back of Remus’s coat to prevent him from falling face first. It wouldn’t have hurt, but it would have been cold. Remus balanced again on his feet, arms out, and Sirius let go of his jacket. “Sorry. Wasn’t looking.”

“It's fine.” Remus assured, no harm had been done. He held out his hand to what he deeply hoped was Sirius’s car in front of him. He had the distinct thought that this was all maybe a terribly stupid idea, but he couldn’t have just sent Sirius back out into the storm alone. “That's your car?” 

Sirius looked ahead finally, eyes off Remus, and nodded. “So close!” He was also winded. His hands on his knees as he stood. “Do you want me to take a turn in the front?” 

Remus, again, felt with a rush that he was incapable of understanding Sirius Black. “No.” He said, quizzically. “It's fine, you did the first walk all yourself.” 

With that Remus pressed on, and smirked when he thought he heard Sirius grumble something behind him about ‘alrightyoulankyshowoffalphawhatever.’ 

Once they did reach the car, Remus eyed the mostly plowed road warily. Sirius had come over in a truck, large and black, and they had to take more time and energy to brush off the newly fallen snow. Then finally, with great relief, they both crawled into the cabin. Sirius had started the car while they worked on clearing it, so it was warm enough for the pair to remove a layer of hats, mittens and scarves. As cold as the world was, the work of the walk had made Remus sweat. 

Sirius shifted the car into drive, and Remus almost closed his eyes, as he expected the truck to shoot off at a speed to match Sirius on the race track. And maybe it was Remus’s white knuckles, or the way he nervously looked out the window at how tall the truck was compared to his car, or maybe it was just that the roads were truly not safe, but Sirius practically inched along the road. 

And now that there was not a distraction of a crazy walk through the snow, the air between them became awkward. Remus kept his eyes straight ahead on the road, because it was scaring him, but also because he knew there would not be a subtle way for him to look over at Sirius beside him without the other man noticing. Remus had access to a few, very limited parts of Sirius, and when he held them all in the same hand they didn’t make sense. Now, with the piece titled ‘Sirius drove all the way from the mountain he didn’t have to leave to come get him in a blizzard, after they haven’t spoken in weeks’ Remus could only be more confused. He had no idea how to breach that topic though. 

Sirius was the one to break the silence though. “You and James have been spending a lot of time together.” 

Remus considered the words. Was Sirius jealous? Of which of them? “Yeah.” He said, slowly. “We’ve been working together on marketing the ski school. It's been going great so far.” 

Sirius wasn’t able to respond though, as the truck, large and sturdy as it was, caught a tire on the snow, and it jerked wildly. One of Remus’s hands was tight on his own knee, the other tight on the edge of his seat. He wanted to close his eyes, but forced them to stay open as he watched and felt the truck swerve on the empty, snow covered road. Sirius cursed, not loudly, but not quite calmly either, until he was able to get the truck back under his control. “Sorry.” Sirius said, once the moment of danger had passed enough. “This snow isn’t letting up at all, is it?”

Remus shook his head, chest still tight with anxiety. He wondered if Sirius’s heart was beating as fast as his. He was now dead sure this was a terrible idea. “Maybe we should wait for the next plow to come through.” He suggested, and allowed himself over a look at Sirius. He looked pale, and like he was trying to hide his worry. 

Sirius bit at his bottom lip as he considered. The wheel jerked in his hands again. Remus’s hand flew to the window to keep himself as stable as possible. He lowered it as the car pressed on, slowly. “Yeah, okay.” Sirius said, as he pulled as far off to the side as possible, and turned on the hazards. 

Now, it was impossibly awkward. There was no defined end to the time in the car, and Remus bitterly thought that this was Sirius’s fault on a lot of levels. First off, he hadn’t any real reason to come get Remus. On top of that, if Sirius wasn’t seemingly so volatile, there could be an easy friendship, instead of the back and forth between forced banter and tension. 

The truck was still running, but Remus pulled his scarf into his lap for extra warmth. He glanced at the truck’s digital clock, and almost gagged at how late in the day it had become. He looked over at Sirius. “You’re going to be late.”

Sirius was still looking ahead, past the windshield. “Hm?” He asked, a bit absent mindedly. 

“The race, Sirius, you’re not going to make it back in time.” 

At his name, Sirius did look over at Remus. “Oh.” He said. His tone was careful. “That’s okay.” 

Remus’s eyebrow crooked. “Okay?” He questioned, confused. 

“Yeah, it's fine. Give Barty a chance to win.” Sirius said, still demure. 

Remus couldn’t understand. It was Sirius’s whole job. He practiced and trained for weeks. He was an Olympian for crying out loud. How could he not care? “I can’t imagine Dumbledore thinks it’s fine.” Remus blew out a breath. Without really thinking, he added, “I understand why you said the last marketing manager had issues.” 

Remus regretted it instantly as Sirius’s eyebrows drew together, and his lips drew in slightly. Yes, Sirius had hurt him by being rude and forgetful a few weeks ago but Remus had always liked to think he could be the bigger man. “Sorry.” He said, as he calmed. “Sorry, that was uncalled for.” He looked out the windshield, and folded his hands into his lap tightly. “You came out all this way to get me. I’m just stressed, and I guess I don’t understand.” He listened to Sirius sigh, and didn’t want to care about the way his breath hit the glass in front of them. 

“No, you’re right.” Sirius said. Remus looked at him again. In profile, Sirius was a spectacle. High cheekbones, a chin that jutted out like someone owed it something. His hair it seemed was ever knotted, no longer under a hat, but still wet from snow curled around his face. Remus almost felt like he had been allowed too close to a marble statue at a museum. “You’re right. I’m an absolute monster to work with, and you’re right it doesn’t make sense.” 

Remus continued to study Sirius. “I mean, I won’t lie, you’re a confusing person to try and work with, but ‘monster’ seems a bit dramatic.” 

Sirius’s eyes raised up a bit, half a laugh and half like he was trying to school his emotions. “It's alright if you think it though, you wouldn’t be the first.” 

“Oh.” Was all Remus could say in response. A beat of silence passed as snow continued to pile onto the hood of the truck. He was still caught up though. “I still feel bad… the race…”

Remus didn’t miss the way Sirius’s hands clenched slightly in his lap, his pale skin even more white for a moment until the pressure relaxed. “I really don’t care.” Sirius said, carefully regulated. Remus opened his mouth, not sure what he wanted to say, but clamped it shut as Sirius continued. “I mentioned it before, but I truly have nothing nice to say about the sport. I want nothing to do with it, and to miss a race is more than fine. Promise. I’d much rather be here.” He gestured with his arms around them. 

“Why?” Remus asked, still baffled. He had been looking for an answer on why Sirius cared so little about the race, his career, all of it, but that was not how his question was taken.

“Because I’ve been a bit of an ass to you.” Sirius said, and Remus, confused at first, then understood where Sirius had misunderstood. “And James and everyone just keeps saying how incredible you are, and how I really fumbled. They said you’d probably hear me out if I tried to explain, but it's been busy, and you’ve been avoiding me, so when I knew where you’d be, I wanted to come talk to you. I am sorry about lunch that time. I really do want to get to know you. Trust me.” And even as Sirius was speaking earnestly, Remus did not miss the crackle of flirtation in his words as he rambled quickly. “So I wanted to tell you, that I was sorry, and offer an explanation, if there's any possibility for it. It sounds stupid to blame skiing, and the racing, and my whole job.” Sirius threw up his hands a bit, it clearly frustrated him as well. “But there's just so much pressure, and absolutely no joy, and when it gets to me I let it get to the people around me. I crawl inside and act horribly to everyone else, and you were so nice, but right there after a hard day, and you had to see that side of me so early.” Sirius had let the words tumble out of him, and had to take a breath. “So that's my excuse, but there's no excuse for me being a little shit to you because of my issues. So, I’m sorry.” He was looking at Remus a bit nervously. 

Remus chewed on the words as he considered his reply. Sirius had said a lot. What rang through all of it, besides the apology, was that it seemed Sirius was miserable. Softly, he asked. “Why don’t you stop then?” 

Sirius sighed, and looked sideways at Remus, like he had just given voice to a question that plagued Sirius daily. It was tired, and worn. He could see the consideration on Sirius’s face, and Remus couldn’t blame him. They hardly knew each other after all. Remus by no means deserved an answer from him. Suddenly he felt bad he even asked. 

Sirius broke their gaze again, and leant his head back against the headrest, a soft thump in the silence of snow. “Because its all I am.” 

Remus watched the lines around Sirius’s eyes relax with resignation, and he had to look away. It felt like an intrusion on something private. 

Around them snow soundlessly continued to fall. It made the sky feel small, the inability to see far in any direction at all. It was just the trees, a road too dangerous to drive, a truck still running, and Sirius and Remus sat inside. A canvas still blank until the rest could be painted in. 

The silence pressed too long, and Remus realized he hadn’t responded. 

“Sorry.” Sirius said, with a forced and awkward chuckle. “That’s kind of a lot.” 

Remus looked at Sirius until he met his eyes again. As much as he hardly knew the man in the truck cab with him, he knew how it felt to be defined by others by just one thing. And even if Sirius didn’t know it, Remus also understood what it felt like to have that definition be controlled by skiing. The difference between a professional athlete, and a life almost ruined by an accident suddenly seemed to matter far less. He knew what he had wanted to hear from others all those years he had let himself be pushed into that box by others, of ‘the boy who almost died skiing’, instead of ‘Remus’. 

“Maybe I can’t tell you quite yet, but I can guarantee you are more than just your job, Sirius.” He said.

Sirius’s lip twitched. “You would be hard pressed to find anything else, I think.” There was still a coating of sadness on him. 

Remus’s eye caught on a drop of water just below Sirius’s cheekbone. It could have been from his wet, snow-melted hair, it could have been a tear. It was without thinking though, that Remus reached out to brush it casually off of Sirius’s cheek as he said “Then I don’t mind looking.” 

As Remus’s hand pulled away the rattling sound of a snow plow roared to life on the road behind them, as Sirius blushed pink and ducked his head away. It was only a moment before the plow had passed them, and left them with a clear path to continue on to Calset. The race would be long over before the time they arrived. “Now, proceed with your rescue mission.” Remus commanded, as he settled back into his seat, a bit of his own blush hopefully hidden by the warmth of the truck cab.

Chapter Text

Sirius’s rescue mission was indeed a success, but as Remus had predicted, the race was well underway, and almost over by the time the truck safely pulled into the crowded Mount Calset parking lot. Even from the distance, Remus could see the course set up, and spectators, all likely confused by the absence of the mountain’s Olympian, gathered around the bottom. The rest of the ride over had still been tense, but only at fault of the difficult road conditions, and no longer the fault of the two men. Remus hoped that their conversation and apologies had allowed them to come to an understanding of sorts, and they could proceed as friends instead of opposed forces. 

“Well, thank you for the ride in.” Remus said as Sirius turned the truck off. 

“Course.” Sirius said. “Friends? I hope?” 

“Friends.” Remus confirmed, having just thought the same. He added, “I’m sure James will be glad to hear it.” As he thought of how carefully James had been tiptoeing around the subject of his best friend as he and Remus had gotten to know each other.

“Oh, he’ll be thrilled.” Sirius said. He looked to the mountain, and gave a steadying breath, then hit his knees gently with his hands. “Alright, time to go face the beast.” 

Remus also eyed the track, where Sirius undoubtedly would not be welcomed with smiling faces after his disappearance. “Blame me if you need to.” He said, as they both got out of the truck and began to walk. Families and couples alike were also in the parking lot, pulling on gear and heavy bags, walking with hands full of equipment and gear to start their late day on the slope. 

“The boys will be asses about it.” Sirius said, and Remus’s thoughts immediately went to the behavior he had witnessed from Barty. He felt inclined to agree that he would indeed, be an ass. “Coach will be fine, just disappointed.” Sirius said with a sigh. “All fine really, until word gets back to my precious mom.” Remus remembered the article he had read on Sirius, before their minor falling out. Sirius, from a family of high profile, highly awarded ski racers. Sirius had mentioned the pressure of the sport, and for the first time, Remus wondered how much of it was internal, and how much of that pressure came from others. Hope could push Remus sometimes, yes, but it was always out of genuine care and love. He couldn’t imagine her ever forcing him to do something that was clearly making his life miserable. 

He glanced sideways at Sirius, his hat was back over his head. “Crap parents?” He asked.

Sirius scoffed. “One could say.” 

Remus hummed thoughtfully, and whatever Sirius expected him to respond, it wasn’t “Eh, feck ‘em.” as Remus shoved his hands into his pockets, and Sirius barked out a laugh. 

“I didn’t realize Calset hired someone of so many talents.” Sirius teased. “A marketing genius, wise in the ways of the wolves, and now a therapist? Remus, you may just solve all my problems.” 

Remus gave a dramatized shrug. “I try to stay humble.” 

Sirius eyed him head to toe. “I’m sure.” He said sarcastically. They both laughed, even if Sirius was still nervous about the consequences of his choices, and they were both still testing the waters with each other now. “Thanks for being kidnapped.” Sirius said as they drew to where they would have to part ways. “I’ll see you at the end of the day.” Remus raised his eyebrow a bit in confusion, which Sirius smiled at. “Don’t forget, you’re stuck here now without a car for the day.” 

“Ah.” Remus said. “I live at your mercy then.” 

“See you then!” Sirius said, as he bravely went to face the track.

***

Remus had had plenty of pictures sent to him by his friends throughout the day, and it would be plenty to keep him busy in his office for the rest of the now short work day. There was also plenty of work to be done to the overall website, and connections to make with local businesses. The day passed with ease. 

By the time the lifts at the mountain closed there was a slight knock on Remus’s door, and he looked up to James slipping in. 

“Hi, James.” He said as he gestured for James to take the seat across the desk. 

“Heya.” James said as he sat. He looked tired, but the good kind of tired, from a long day spent doing exactly what he wanted to be doing more than anything.

“How were the conditions?” Remus asked. 

James placed a hand on the table to emphasize his point. “Absolutely mental. Oh my god.” Remus smiled at how obviously thrilled James was. “I managed to get in really early so I could get first tracks before lessons started.” 

Remus wondered if Sirius normally would join him on those early morning fun runs, or if the entire sport was ruined for him. “Sounds fun.” Remus said, it almost wasn’t a complete lie. Good memories of skiing were almost completely tainted for him, but it was impossible to ignore the fact that at one point in his life, Remus had been thrilled to be on the side of a mountain with newly fallen snow. 

“It was all morning, then the winter break crowds came rolling in and it became the wild west on those trails.” James said, with a shiver. And at that thought, Remus did have to wince. It was exactly that, idiots on a trail who couldn’t stop themselves, and had not a care for others, that had ruined everything. If James noticed Remus’s wince or not, he still moved the conversation on. “Listen, Sirius mentioned he was giving you a ride back to yours? I just saw him, he's absolutely wiped. So if it’s alright with you, I’ll drive and he’ll come with to bring you back?”

Remus sat back in his seat, away from the computer, and any pretense that this was a work conversation. “Yeah, he picked me up this morning, since I was snowed in.” 

James chuckled. “Figures, he’s always been one for dramatic and somewhat stupid choices. Is that alright then?”

Remus thought that sounded fairly accurate as he nodded, and stood to pull his things together. “Yeah, of course.” 

“Great, appreciate it.” James said, and stood as well. They walked together out of Remus’s office and into the lodge, where families lingered and took their time finishing the day. James led him over to a corner, and Remus spotted Sirius just a ways off. He was on the phone, and slumped against the wall, knees up against his chest, one hand threaded through his hair. His eyes were half closed. James made a small tutting sound. They had to wait some time for Sirius to get off the phone, and during that time he hardly said anything. 

It was with a heavy sigh that Sirius finally lowered the phone, and got up off the floor. He moved over to where James and Remus waited. Sirius’s eyes were tired, but he gave them both a small smile as he approached, it was evident he was making an attempt. Remus returned the gesture, and added a half raised, awkward wave. 

“How bad?” James asked, and he held out an open palm.

Sirius dug into a pocket and pulled out the truck's keys. He tossed them and James caught them easily. “No worse than normal.” It was resigned. 

James grimaced. “Ah. Well, the chariot awaits.” And he led the way out to the truck. 

Sirius fell in step with Remus, and Remus tried to adjust his gait to match. “How was work?” Sirius asked. 

Remus felt the effort of it. If Sirius had been honest earlier, and Remus believed that he had been, then whatever he went through today would normally have sent him quiet and isolated. But here he was, fighting against it. 

“Oh, all good.” Remus said, and then added lightly, “Ya’know, I almost had the day off but that was stolen from me by a crazy guy in a truck, so, take that as you will.” 

Sirius, even with his dull eyes and pale face, managed a smile. “Sounds miserable.” He noted.

“Not as bad as it sounds.” Remus admitted, in hopes of making Sirius smile a bit more. He was awarded with his prize. 

At the truck, Remus was waylaid in his move to sit in the back seat of the truck by Sirius. James had pulled himself into the driver's side, and pushed the chair back to adjust for his height and started the engine. Remus considered for just a moment crawling into the back with Sirius, who was clearly in a bit of a state. If Sirius normally isolated though, that might feel a bit too much, and, Remus decided, it would be horribly telling of himself to choose to sit in the back instead of the passenger side just to be closer to him. So in the front, besides James he sat. 

The road had obviously been plowed many times since Remus and Sirius had arrived, and the snow had also stopped late in the day, so driving was clear. Remus could only hope that his exact road had been plowed, and turned to say as much to Sirius. When he looked over his shoulder though, Sirius had dozed off in the back. His head was in the crook of the window and the seat. With his eyes closed, his eyelashes only seemed darker against his pale cheeks. His mouth was slightly parted, and a strand of his hair had caught along his lips. Remus allowed himself just a moment to take in the picture before he sat back in his seat. 

“Asleep?” James asked, he didn’t sound surprised at all.

“Sure is.” Remus said. “Impressive really, I probably could never fall asleep so fast in a moving car.” 

“Yeah.” James said, with a bit of a sigh. “He wasn’t always able to do that. Took a lot of time to build that trust.” 

Now, on the topic of Sirius, Remus said, “He mentioned that you had been telling him to talk to me.” It was almost an accusation, but not one that held any hostility at all. 

James shrugged one shoulder nonchalantly. “Sure. You two had hit it off so well, then he had a rough day and owed you an apology.” At Remus’s assessing look, he continued, in a low voice. It wasn’t conspiratorial at all, but simply out of his respect for his sleeping friend. “Listen, I love Sirius like no other, he is my brother and we have always had each other's back. So I know more than anyone that sometimes he lashes out. If you have it in you, he just needs patience. He really hasn’t always had it easy…” James drifted off a bit, he glanced at the rearview mirror, a soft look at Sirius. Remus found himself glad that Sirius had had someone like James in his life, if the little hints he was getting today indicated anything truly about how it had been for him. “It's not really my place to say, but there are people who can really ruin his day easily, and they try to. Often.” Remus nodded, and thought about what Sirius had said about his mother. 

“He mentioned something about that.” Remus said.

“Good.” James said. “Obviously, sometimes he still makes mistakes, of course, and should be held accountable for it.” James said, with a bit of a fond sigh. “But I wanted to just share with you. I really like you Remus, and want to keep getting to know you, and that’ll just be much easier if Sirius has made up for himself.” 

Remus smiled at that, the reassurance that James’s friendship was authentic. “I understand.” He told James. “He’s really lucky to have you.” 

James beamed, if a bit shyly. “I think you two will be great friends. Now I just have to hope I don’t come to regret it!” James said with a laugh that made Remus smile. “But if he’s still on thin ice, you do what you need to do.” 

Remus looked over his shoulder again at the man behind him, curled up, and worn down. “I think it’ll be fine.” He told him. 

“I’m glad to hear that.” James said. “And truly Remus. Me, the others, we’re all very glad you’re here.”

It felt incredible for Remus to be able to genuinely say to James, “Thanks, I am too.” 

Remus directed James to his cabin, and it was a relief to see that his road and driveway had been plowed. His car of course, was still completely covered in snow. James offered to stay and help clean it, but Remus knew if he did Sirius would as well, so he told him more than once that he could handle it himself. 

Sirius was still asleep in the back when Remus stepped out of the truck, but the movement of James turning it around must have woken him up. The passenger side window that Remus had just left was rolled down as Remus had started to walk away, and Sirius, and his head of messy hair leaned out the window. 

“Wolf-man!” Sirius called, voice coated with a thin layer of sleep. 

Remus turned back. “Thanks for the ride today, Sirius! I’ll see you soon.”

“No wait!” Sirius said, and leaned a bit further out the window. Remus paused his walk back to his door, and almost heard James say something about why in the world did he just call Remus ‘wolf-man’ and please please don’t fall out of the window. “I wanted to ask you but totally just knocked out there, sorry. New Year’s Eve! Come out with all of us? We like to celebrate.” A celebrity in the world of sports and ice, a model not just by description but also by trade, called out to Remus.

It was a bit of a strange image, Remus thought. His house, so far away from his true home, covered in snow, a truck with people who were strangers just a month ago in the drive. One of them, warm as the sun, and strong as a king, who had embraced Remus into the strange winter kingdom he found himself in. The other, a bit dangerous, and bright as a star, with eyes that Remus couldn’t forget even when he tried. There was the fleeting thought of how, in all his life’s choices, made and forced, had he ended up with them, here. 

Even in its strangeness, though, Remus could not deny that it felt right. He pulled his coat a bit tighter around him, and shook off the cold. “Sounds brilliant.” He said.

Sirius grinned, and Remus thought without motive that it was likely he would do almost anything for just that smile. 

***

The rest of Christmas vacation week had the mountain packed, and Remus quickly learned that not only was New Years Eve to celebrate the start of a new chapter for the Calset crew, but a celebration that they had survived one of the busiest weeks of the year. It clearly was a bright spot in the exhaustion of the week, that all of Remus’s friends grew more and more excited for. 

There was cheers and great excitement in the group chat when Lily announced that this would be her first year celebrating with the group as well. Remus had told her he was going during one of his visits to her office. With a sigh Lily had disclosed that she had always been invited, and always wanted to go, but always worried that her title as HR would prevent the people around her from having their fun. Remus convinced her that it couldn’t be farther from the truth, that it would certainly make a lot of peoples nights more fun if she was present, and at the very least, he would appreciate her presence. It was enough to sway her. James had sent the most exclamation marks when she shared her decision. When Remus pointed this out to her, she quickly changed the conversation, but Remus noticed how secretly pleased she was. 

Lily, though, was still adept at changing the conversation, and had gotten the story of Remus’s half snowed-in day from him quickly. He also figured that most of the group he had found himself pulled into likely realized quickly that Remus and Sirius were back on good terms, as the dynamic of the group chat had shifted dramatically now that Sirius was back active in it. 

It had started with Sirius asking the group if everyone would be free around the same time to grab lunch two days after the blizzard and missed race. The chat hadn’t been silent for long, but Remus had been the first to respond that he would be free and happy to be there. There had been a beat of silence for another minute, and Remus could only imagine the confused looks as they stared at their screens, before others had chimed in saying they’d be there.

Remus had arrived a bit late to that lunch, he had been caught up in a meeting with finances as they discussed sales numbers. James chattered on with whatever story he had been telling, and Lily of course knew, but Marlene, Dorcas, Mary and Peter had watched with wide eyes as Remus approached with his tray of food. Sirius and James had been sat next to each other, but Sirius had scooted over to create space as Remus approached. Remus settled into the spot, still warm from Sirius. Sirius had leaned ever so slightly into him, and told him the basics of whatever story James was well into. Remus leaned his way and listened, and had to fight so hard to keep his composure under control. When Remus didn’t pull away from Sirius, and instead smiled at his words, the breath that the rest of the table had been holding had released, and everyone had moved on, and turned back into James, with only an occasional glance at Remus and Sirius. 

Sirius had texted him that night and asked him if he had found the whole thing as hilarious and pre-teen-drama-y as he did. Remus was glad to respond with just how hard he had been trying not to laugh at everyone's faces as they had gaped at them. After that, the ice had been broken, and the group was whole, and without questions. 

In Calset’s Finest, there was a constant influx of memes, most often being passed between Marlene and Sirius. Remus had been hesitant about their relationship, given that Marlene had been the one to be the first to shit talk Sirius way back on his first day, but it seemed that it had been a tight friendship of sharp words and shared love that Remus hadn’t yet known to pick up on. Between memes plans were hatched and made, a dress-code was set - black and white - and favorite drinks shared so turns could be taken getting rounds. 

The week passed, and suddenly Remus found himself at the end of the year. He tried not to reflect on the new years too much generally. It was fun, sure, but after years of resolutions to have people to celebrate the next new years with had failed, it had become depressing. He hadn’t set those lofty expectations at the start of the current year, and here he was, with a group of people that younger Remus had so desperately craved without even knowing they existed. It had worked out for him, clearly, so perhaps not setting resolutions was the way to go. 

Remus was in his car, and outside of Lily’s apartment as she got into the car. They would drive over to James and Sirius’s on-hill lodging together, where the group would gather, walk out to the pub, then walk back to finish the night so no one would have to drive by the time the night ended. 

“Oo, don’t you look so spiffy.” Lily said. She looked incredible herself, in a sleeveless, soft turtleneck. Black, of course, to match the theme. She had a long jacket that she pulled off as she got into the car, which left her freckled shoulders bare. Her face was framed with golden earnings, and with her hair half-pulled up, Remus found himself saying a prayer for James. 

“Thank you.” Remus said. “You look fantastic.” He thought his own outfit was quite plain, but he had done his best. A white, pressed dress shirt, with sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He had found an old peacoat in the bottom of a box he hadn’t unpacked yet, and with that, black pants, and clean curls, he hoped he would pass muster. He had spent a deal of time after he had dressed assessing himself in the mirror. His scars had gotten more scrutiny than normal. Most days he hardly thought of them. They felt prominent that day though. 

Peter didn’t live far from Lily, and they picked him up as well. His outfit was similar to Remus’s, but with a puffy black waterproof coat. They said customary hellos and a brief work chat as they made their way towards Calset, its height looming down the road in front of them. “It better not be too cold when we walk back.” Peter said from the back. 

“It shouldn’t be too bad.” Lily said. “I checked, shouldn’t get below freezing ideally, but if it does, there's no wind forecasted for the night. We should be more than fine.” 

“Phew.” Peter said. “Better than last year then. You two should have seen it. It was so cold, I think Sirius crawled inside James’s coat and they walked back like some four legged creature.” Peter wobbled back and forth in the seat to demonstrate the way they would have had to walk. Remus and Lily laughed at the image. 

“As funny as that is.” Lily said. “I doubt the weather will push us to share jackets this year.”

Remus chuckled, but a small part of him wondered just what the odds were that the temperature would drop enough to have Sirius request to fold himself into his jacket instead. The peacoat wouldn’t be the warmest thing in the world, Remus thought, but big enough to reasonably wrap two people into. 

He shook the thought from his head. It had been clear that Remus had been invited as a friend , with a group of friends, by his friend. Remus had decided this, because he had thought more than once about the way that Sirius had hung out of the truck's window to invite him to New Years Eve with the group. Sirius had definitely said to come out with ‘all of us’ and not just him specifically, his black haired, sharp and handsome coworker. Each day though, the lines between coworkers and friends became all the more fuzzy, and parts of Remus’s brain argued heavily that that meant other lines could be blurred also. Rational as ever though, Remus reasoned that he hadn’t known Sirius for very long in the grand scheme of things, and he would, eventually, discover that Remus had been correct when he told him he was boring. And it would all pass. It had happened before, and he was sure it would happen again.

All the rationality in the world though couldn’t slow Remus’s heart as he pulled the car into the driveway of James and Sirius’s condo. There were already a number of other cars in the drive. As he took the key out of the car, Peter leaned forward in his seat, with soft hands on the shoulders of Lily and Remus. “I hope you two are ready for the most fun New Years Eve you’ve ever had.” He said before he quickly leaned back, and exited the car. 

Remus and Lily exchanged slightly nervous looks. Nervous, but lined with hope and excitement for the night. “If you say the word, I’ve got people I can call to safely drive us home.” Lily said, as she accurately as ever read Remus’s face. There was an ever so slight waver in her voice that mirrored his nerves, and he wondered how similar theirs were.

Remus steeled himself. “We’ve got this. I’ve got your back if you’ve got mine.” 

“Deal.” Lily said, and they shook hands. A streak of a strong and mischievous smile, that Remus had not been exposed to too often since knowing Lily, but he knew was there, spread across her face and red lips. “Let's go give them a real night to remember.” 

Her grin was contagious, and Remus couldn’t help but agree. 

Chapter Text

Lily and Remus were swept into James’s and Sirius’s condo by Mary, who looked like she could walk onto any movie set and immediately get cast as the main lead. Remus told her this, and she bashfully whacked his shoulder, and told him to “not even start that, lover boy.” Remus had laughed. 

The living room was decently sized, and screamed ‘lived in’. It wasn’t dirty, but there were bookshelves filled with little trinkets and travel souvenirs. A large L shaped couch took up much of the space, and other armchairs and stools, it was a house built to host. Blankets of red and gold, the Calset colors, were strewn everywhere. Peter already had a drink in hand and had made himself comfortable in the deep cushions. There was even a little bar with two stools, that Dorcas was currently behind. She waved Remus over to start him a drink. Voices were merry and joyous as Marlene called out for song recommendations for a queue. 

Only one of the hosts was on the scene, and James seemed to float across the room, as he took Lily’s coat from her to hang up on a hook - a coat rack made of an old ski, of course - then gave her a spin. “You’ve outdone us all!” James declared, as Lily laughed and blushed. 

“I object to that!” Dorcas called as Remus was handed his drink. And she had a very strong case, in a solid black suit that was low-cut and showed off her dark, flawless skin. In heels, she was as tall as Remus. 

“You’ll never convince him.” Remus remarked to Dorcas. 

“Oh, I know. Still have to stand up for myself.” Dorcas said good-naturedly. 

Marlene, queue created, appeared quickly at her side, and stood up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around Dorcas’s shoulders. “I know who the real star is.” Marlene told her as she kissed her cheek. 

Remus, with drink in hand, turned away from the women back to the rest of the room, and almost instantly regretted it. There was one face that he had not seen yet, but there Sirius was, coming down from the stairs. Sirius had on a leather jacket. A soft, white shirt under the jacket, and Remus wondered if it was short sleeved, and if he would have a chance to get a closer look at Sirius’s tattoos that night. It was not just any leather jacket though, Remus thought as he recognized it. It was the same jacket from the motorbike campaign photos that Remus had found so soon after first meeting Sirius. The embroidered stars on the sleeve of the jacket sparkled, just a touch, as they caught the light. Their slight shimmer was not enough to detract from the rest of Sirius though. He seemed to shine of his own volition. If the room was utterly dark, Remus thought he could probably still make out the light of Sirius. His hair was loose, and for once, looked brushed and soft. On the side of Sirius’s face, dancing across his cheekbones and next to charcoal lined eyes, were more little stars. Stickers that only accentuated his features even more. 

As Sirius reached the floor, he smiled at Remus from across the room. Remus drew in a deep breath and raised his drinks to his lips. Sirius’s gaze had moved on as he went to James’s side, but Remus’s had not. He almost regretted his acceptance of the invitation. Almost. He leaned back against the bar a bit.

“Here.” Dorcas said. Remus had to look away from Sirius to see what she meant, which was probably another favor on top of the second drink she had just made him. He likely looked at it a bit quizzically, that's what he hoped at least, rather than recovering from his quick daze. It seemed likely though he hadn’t fooled her, Marlene still draping off her arms, as Dorcas laughed. “You’re gonna need it.” 

Remus gave a grim nod, finished his first drink quickly, and grabbed the other. “Thanks. You’re a good friend.” Dorcas then reached across the bar and pushed Remus’s back, to send him off into the rest of the room. “Or maybe not.” Remus told her, unable to stay at the safety of the little bar forever. Marlene blew him a kiss. 

Lily had gone to catch up with Mary, so Remus was left to wander to the couch, where James and Sirius had joined Peter. Peter himself looked quite comfy, like he was in a spot that he had chosen many times before. Remus sat next to him, and tried not to feel too self conscious as he did, unsure if the cool burn of grey eyes was imagined or real. 

“What better night than New Years Eve?” Peter was saying. 

“It all might just be a terrible idea.” James said, with a rare break of his confident attitude. 

“Better night for what?” Remus asked. If he joined the conversation, perhaps it could be enough to distract from the silver glitter on Sirius’s cheekbones. He was only a few cushions away on the large couch though. If Remus didn’t want to be distracted, he thought, he should just take himself home now. 

“Oh you know.” Peter said with a wave. “A night out for celebration…the ball drop…the start of new beginnings…couples everywhere embracing and kissing…” Peter listed out dreamily. Remus couldn’t help a quick glance to Sirius, which he ended abruptly when he saw Sirius was already looking at him. “The perfect night for James to make his move on Lily.” 

James anxiously rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know mate.” He said, and Remus found himself deeply endeared by how nervous he sounded. Somehow, it made his own nerves settle a bit. 

Remus took a sip of his drink. “What could be so terrible about it?” He asked. Even if James had not ever explicitly told him, it felt like public knowledge that James was mad for Lily.

Sirius smiled, the action bright enough to draw Remus’s carefully diverted attention. “Terrible?” He asked with a laugh. “Oh, my Remus.” Sirius said. His name, and the placement of his pause sang across the space between them. “It truly is a shame that you have missed years and years of this one” He jutted a thumb at James, who had buried his head in his hands “making an utter fool of himself and his many, many love confessions to Lily.” 

“Oh.” Remus sat back and assessed a distraught James in front of him. Neither he nor Lily had mentioned this to him before. 

“Not love confessions!” James defended, drawing his head up. 

Sirius rolled his eyes at his friend. “They might as well have been.” He looked at Remus. “Lily couldn’t stand him for the longest time. Truly despised his guts.” He laughed when James groaned. “He was just shooting his shot.” A pause. “A few hundred times too many.” 

Remus felt his lips twitch with a smile. “She doesn’t hate you anymore.” He pointed out. 

James looked thankfully up at him. “No. Eventually I kinda gave up, decided it was likely never going to happen, but at least maybe I could be her friend.” He sighed. “And it's wonderful, and she's the most amazing person ever.” Sirius gave James a small kick, which he ignored. “And sometimes I can’t help but wonder, but she made her position quite clear.” 

Remus turned slightly to look at where Mary and Lily had joined Marlene and Dorcas at the bar. They were talking excitedly, and Remus watched long enough to see Lily’s eyes dart over to the couch a few times. Not at him though. He thought about Lily’s blushes, and secret glances that he had watched over the past few weeks, and how she had never once mentioned a hatred of James Potter. He looked back to James with a shrug. “You never know.” 

James put the back of his hand to his forehead, and fell dramatically back against the couch. “We do know, Remus, we do know.” He gave a feigned sob. 

Sirius went to playfully smack him. “Enough of this.” He said, and pulled James out of the cushions. “Up up up!” He said as he stood, and went to pull James with him. Then he called to everyone in the room. “Lace up everyone, pub time!” 

The women gave a cheer, which Remus and Peter echoed. James shook off his woes and joined in. Shoes were put on, jackets were donned, and the crew began their walk to the pub.

***

If Remus thought that the Hogshead was busy when he went to the unofficial work event, then it was packed for New Years Eve. They had arrived early enough to order food before the kitchen shut down, and their squished table had been filled with voices that threw out predictions for the coming year. Marlene was sure that by the end of the year, at least someone they knew would end up engaged. Lily had made a jest that it wasn’t fair to bet on something that Marlene could make happen at any moment. Dorcas had beamed. James declared that he would get his first tattoo by the end of the year, and Lily gave up on the unfairness of the predictions. 

“What would you have us predict if not ourselves?” James had asked her.

“Oh, I don’t know!” Lily laughed, next to James and across from Remus. “If like, Beyonce is going to release a new album or something. Or who will win the world series.”

Sirius, across from James, and somehow, next to Remus in the booth seats, sat up. “If that's the kind of stuff we’re betting on, I reckon that a bunch of rich people get outed as being part of a really, truly bizarre cult, and it changes the way we perceive the rich forever.” 

Remus was a bit buzzed on alcohol. Just enough for Sirius’s bet to seem deeply funny, and he laughed.

James rolled his eyes playfully. “That's not fair either then if that's just your rich family.” 

Peter added. “Yeah, just go ahead and bet that Sirius will also win some gold medals this year.” 

Remus’s laugh dimmed for a moment as he watched carefully for Sirius’s reaction. He worried it would bring down the high energy he had been in all night, like he had learned a mention of family members, or racing could often do. He looked sideways at Sirius, who had frozen for just a moment, and knocked his knee into his under the table. Sirius’s knee pressed back into his, a quick movement, before they drew back. To anyone who hadn’t cared to watch so closely, Sirius seemed untouched by the remarks, empowered by the magic of a new year, and he threw his arms out with a laugh. “Well, no one can say I didn’t say about the cult thing when the truth comes out.” 

“Oh, oh!” Mary, properly drunk, leaned in. “The truth comes out, does Bruno Mars is gay!” 

The table exploded at her outburst, and decided that it was a strong prediction for the year. If, while they ate and continued to cackle at each other's jokes, Remus’s knee hit Sirius’s a few more times, no one but them was none the wiser. 

When the kitchen closed and the music in the pub was turned up, everyone's jackets were piled into one chair in a heaping mess, and the group stood. The crowd had grown, and within wooden walls and raised platforms, it was necessary to speak up to be heard. With the bodies and movement, the pub was also comfortably warm, although, Remus noted to himself, with some dismay, that Sirius still had his leather jacket on. Peter claimed the pool table and challenged James to a game, which he said he would only accept if Sirius would kiss the pool cue for good luck. Sirius pulled a face at the idea, and told James to bugger off if he thought he was going to put his precious face anywhere near the cue. When James lost, he blamed Sirius. 

“I told you, that's so nasty, and you would have lost anyways.” Sirius said. Peter just beamed. 

“Alright, Remus, you’re up. Let's see what you got.” Peter said, and handed Remus the que James had conceded. 

Remus huffed a laugh, and swayed a bit from one foot to the other. The edges of his vision were just a bit less noticeable, and the alcohol tasted like permission to not care for a night. “I’ll lose, but whatever you say, Pete.” He took the cue and went to step up to the pool table. 

“Wait! You’ll need good luck then.” Sirius said, and he met Remus across the small space where they had just been spectating and the pool table. Remus felt slow as he stood slack, and watched as Sirius wrapped a hand around the pool cue, his thumb hovered above the stick, and Sirius pressed his lips in a kiss to his own thumb. The distance was only there for Remus to see in their closeness though. Remus watched, utterly entranced, and watched Sirius’s lips as they stepped back. 

“What!!” James hollered in disbelief. “Not fair at all! I could have won!” 

Sirius just shrugged James off, with a smirk, and eyes under eyelashes that Remus was having a very hard time reminding himself were dangerous. 

Luckily, Peter behind him had taken the first shot at splitting the balls on the table, and the loud noise brought Remus back to himself and his feet.

Remus won. 

Time ticked closer to midnight and the trips to the bar for next rounds became faster. Music became louder and somehow more strangers squeezed themselves into the bar. When Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain played, Lily squealed and grabbed Remus and pulled him into the crowd, where they could jump, dance and scream the lyrics. All through the night Remus felt powered by the liquid courage in his veins, and the security of friends that he knew had his back. Also, all through the night, he was entirely aware of where Sirius was at all times. There were moments where anxiety began to build in his chest, as he checked the time and it crept closer to the ball drop, and wondered if perhaps Sirius would kiss him. Then another song would start and someone would distract him from his thoughts with their glee. 

Some modern pop song played, one Remus didn’t know, but was intoxicated enough to pretend he knew the beat and swayed his hips and shoulders in time. He danced in a small circle with Marlene and Dorcas, and laughed at their ever increasing closeness. The way they were looking at each other sent his eyes across the crowded space to look for a head of dark hair, and he rotated on his feet in an effort to look for Sirius. He was stopped mid motion though by a hooked finger that grabbed onto the place where the buttons of his shirt met. Remus, hazy and confused, looked up and expected to see one of his friends pulling him in to tell him something, but was met with the face of a stranger. 

The man gave another tug on Remus’s shirt, which pulled him a bit closer, and Remus was startled to see an utter look of desire on the man's face. It was so blatant and plain that Remus had never seen anything quite like it - directed at him, at least - as the man beckoned him closer with his eyes on Remus’s lips. As the man’s intentions clarified in his brain, Remus had just enough sense to duck just a bit, so the man's finger would be unhooked from his shirt, and to start to pull back. If the stranger was anything though, it was insistent, and he moved closer to Remus.

At the same moment, there were others close to him, and out of the corner of his eye Remus caught a flash of red hair, and Lily was close to him, and looked up at him with questioning green eyes. Remus widened his own eyes at hers. The man was still trying to get closer to him, but Lily had created a barrier. 

“Yay or nay?” Lily asked.

“Huh?” Remus responded, leaning closer to her face. 

“Do you want to dance with him? Yay or nay?” Lily pressed.

Remus looked back behind her, the man still had eyes on him, intense and wanting. He wasn’t not handsome. He was muscular, blonde, and dressed a bit hippy-ish. In fact, the man was quite fit, and looked at Remus like he thought the same. It might be fun, he thought, to get lost in the arms of a stranger for just one night, and to feel so wanted. All he could really think though, was the way Sirius had been half at his side all night, the knock of their knees under the table, that kiss of the cue, and Sirius, Sirius, Sirius. Remus shook his head no at Lily. 

Lily nodded, determined, and steered Remus away with a wave over her shoulder at the stranger. Remus pushed through bodies that jumped in time to the beat of the music and thrummed with life. He was around his friends again, all of them pushed together. Lily let go of his back only once he was fully surrounded by familiar faces, and he was able to take a breath. Sirius was watching him closely. Mary slid up to him, and as he once again settled into being comfortable in his skin, he danced with her. 

“That guy totally was making his moves, Remus.” She noted, it was practically a scream over the noise and voices of the pub. “You could have pulled!”

Remus knew that he was blushing. He felt grey eyes on him, and met Sirius’s gaze briefly. “Not my type.” Was all he could tell Mary with an embarrassed shrug. It was not very well like he could just tell her he had some very conflicting feelings for a friend that had made the flirting stranger nothing more than that, a stranger. 

A confused look passed over Sirius’s face, but just then the lights flashed brightly, and the DJ announced over a microphone. “Time to say goodbye to 2023, and begin the countdown. Ten, nine!” 

Cheers and screams erupted from the crowd as the music settled. Bodies pushed in closer together, and Remus looked to where Sirius had just been beside him a moment ago. He was gone though, and Remus felt disappointment fly through his stomach like a popped balloon. 

“seven, six!” The crowd continued, and Remus saw Sirius had moved across the small space their friends had created for themselves, far away from Remus. 

“five, four!” Marlene and Dorcas were already kissing. 

“three, two!” James flashed a wide smile at Remus, and went to put his arms around Sirius, his brother. Peter was raising a glass to cheers. 

“One!” Everyone screamed, and Remus joined in too. 

“Happy new year!” The pub screamed in unison. And despite it all, Remus couldn’t help but be thrilled. The only one who didn’t scream the cheer though was Lily, besides him. Remus looked down to her, noted her set, determined, and nervous face, before she stepped across the gap, threw her arms around James’s neck, pulled him away from Sirius, and kissed him, hard. 

While the pub celebrated loudly around them, Remus and his friends were shocked into silence, even Marlene and Dorcas had their attention turned away from each other to watch the impossible play out in front of them. Lily practically had James in a dip, and when she finally pulled back, he looked utterly star struck, and in utter confusion at Lily, even as an unforgettable smile started to pull at his lips.

“No fucking way.” Sirius gaped. 

“Happy new year?” Lily said with a nervous giggle. 

“Happy new year indeed!” James cried, his glasses askew, and the two met in a kiss again. The slow auld lang syne played and transitioned into another upbeat, high energy song.

Mary broke their small bubble of silence with a thrilled cackle, her hands in the air. “She did it, she really did it!” And then all of them were back in the thrall of the new year. Shots were purchased and consumed, Remus and Peter sang along to The Killers loudly, neither cared as their voices broke and they missed notes, and they laughed as they joked that their singing was all it took to start to have the pub empty. 

The last call for drinks had passed, and it was finally Sirius, who had called for them to leave for the bar at the start of the night, who decided that it was time to vacate. Coats were found and adorned, and the group ensured more than once that their tabs were paid before they went to step outside. The night air had a chill to it, but after the many hours in the hot pub, it was welcome. The sudden lack of compression hit Remus, and made his veins sing with just how drunk he was.

There was not a cloud in the sky, and stars and the moon shone brightly enough that flashlights were hardly necessary for the walk back. James, as ever, led their little crowd, with Lily on his arm. Mary and Peter swayed together arm in arm, and Dorcas and Marlene danced still, humming along to songs no longer playing. It left Remus and Sirius at the back of the group. 

Remus’s walk was not steady, and he drifted back and forth along the sidewalk. More than once he swayed a little too close to the snow banks, which were high still from the blizzard, and more than once he swayed a little too close to Sirius. One of those times he bumped right into Sirius’s side, who, drunk and swaying just the same, reached out his arm to steady Remus. The pressure and warmth of the contact was light through his coat, but Remus leaned into the touch. 

“Sorry.” Remus hiccuped, but he wasn’t sorry, not really. In fact, it felt quite amusing.

Sirius seemed to feel the same. “Better fall into me than the snow.” He advised.

Remus nodded at the sage knowledge. “And if I started to fall into the snow?” He asked, as he pulled towards the snow bank. He knew he was being silly, but found it mattered so little. 

Sirius’s arm was still on his coat though, and he pulled him back from the snow. “I’ll pull you back.” Sirius said, then after a thought, added “Or jump in with you.” 

Remus hummed like it was the best answer he could have been given. Sirius released his arm, but Remus kept himself close to his side. “My hero.” He crooned. 

Ahead of them, Marlene continued to sing, her lyrics floated across the snowy landscape. “When the moonlight hits your bright eyes” she called into the air “I go blind!” She held the last note long enough it sounded like a howl.

Remus heard Dorcas laugh at her, and told her enough of the old emo music. Marlene just protested and skipped ahead, saying it was one of her favorites and couldn’t be stopped. Remus watched them go on ahead, not out of sight, but far enough ahead that it left Sirius and him in a space of their own. Marlene had been right to sing of the moon though. Its light reflected off the sparkling snow all around them. It still hung heavy from the trees, and created a place that felt alien, or magic. The glow of it all shone all the brighter off of Sirius though. The stars on his cheeks and his jacket were subtle, but present and lovely. His hair had a shine to it in its softness, and Sirius’s pale skin was illuminated in the dark light of the night. 

Sirius had caught him looking though, and Remus almost reeled as he searched for some excuse. Sirius spoke first though. A bit sadly he said, “The moon looks so good on you.” Remus’s heart stilled, then raced, as he floundered for a response. Sirius pressed on quickly though, and changed the subject so rapidly that it left Remus wondering if he had just invented the words. “So what did you think of your first Calset New Years Eve?” 

Their pace had slowed, and they walked side by side. Remus considered the question. It had been a perfect celebration, just about. And he figured that Sirius deserved his honestly. “Almost perfect.” 

Sirius gave a shocked gasp. “Almost!” He objected. “What could have been better?” 

“Well, it seems to be that a perfect new years would have included a kiss at the ball drop.” Remus said. 

Sirius’s mouth opened to respond, then snapped shut for a moment where he appeared deep in thought. “You easily could have had one.” Sirius said, and his tone was slightly flat, and Remus didn’t understand.

He was a bit taken aback though. He seemed to remember Sirius had moved away from him right before the ball drop, not the other way around. “Could I have?” He asked, genuinely curious. 

Sirius snorted. “Sure, that guy was all over you. He would have been happy to complete your perfect new years.” 

In his conversation with Sirius, he had almost completely forgotten the stranger. “Oh.” He said. 

Sirius continued to sound a bit flat, his expression of displeasure not concealed on his face. “Not your type though, you said. Sure there were also plenty of girls you could have kissed.” 

At Sirius’s words Remus stopped in his tracks. He barked out one laugh, then another, then, with the alcohol pressing behind his eyes, he bent over in a full, hearty laugh. The cold air made him wheeze a bit, and when he went to stand, Sirius was stood watching him, eyebrow raised and with a bit of a pout. His arms were crossed across his chest. “What?” He asked as Remus wiped a tear from his eye. “What's so funny about that?” 

The look on Sirius’s face made Remus a bit giggly, and he felt so glad that he had refused more drinks that night he had met Sirius for the first time if this was how intoxicated him acted around the beautiful man. “Nothing, nothing.” He said with a heavy breath. “Sorry, I just tried to imagine kissing a girl there really quick. It was hilarious.” Remus giggled at himself again at the words. The pout did not leave Sirius’s face, and Remus had to fight viciously the urge to grab his face and kiss it off of him, if only to prove a point. 

Sirius tapped a foot on the pavement, but it seemed more born of anxiety than irritation or boredom. “So he was your type?” Sirius pressed.

Remus finally stood up fully from his laugh, even as another bubbled in his chest. “He was a guy, so I guess by broad definition, yes.” 

“He was fit though.” Sirius remarked, but there was half a question in the tone.  

“Sure.” Remus agreed, but was completely enraptured by the man in front of him now, and how his nose had gone slightly red from the cold air. “Doesn’t mean he was exactly my type though.” He finished, as he took a step towards Sirius. Sirius didn’t back up at all, when Remus took another step closer. They were only a very short distance apart, and Sirius was looking up at Remus, his eyes as bright as the world around them felt under the light of the moon.

Remus’s breath hitched as Sirius reached up, and with two light fingers, brushed a curl away from Remus’s forehead. Sirius whispered “Moony.” under his breath, and Remus had the impression that he had not been meant to hear it, but he leaned into the word anyways. 

“Aye!” A voice shouted ahead of them, and drunk and dazed, Sirius and Remus sprang apart as their bubble was shattered. It was Peter. “Let's go slowpokes, we’ve all got bottles of water with our names on them and you’re holding us up!” 

Remus looked guilty from Sirius to ahead on the path where their friends waited. “Sorry!” He called. 

When he looked back, Sirius looked just as startled as he was. “Shall we?” he asked. Sirius nodded. They began to walk again, faster, to catch up with everyone else. When Sirius’s arm wound around Remus’s, so they were arm in arm, Remus looked over in surprise. “So you don’t slip.” Sirius advised. Remus leaned into the touch again, and they staggered their way to their friends, who had red cheeks and runny noses from the cold. It was not long before they were all linked arm and arm, and swaying back and forth to the condo together. But Sirius remained at his side, and Remus thought that perhaps, it was indeed, a perfect New Years Eve. 

Chapter Text

When Remus woke up on the first of January, he was half swallowed by deep cushions of James and Sirius’s couch. Curtains were drawn tightly shut, and there was a dull ache that as soon as he moved he knew would bloom into a headache. Somewhere on the couch here was a bit of movement, and he heard Peter turn on his side further down the couch. It had to have been midday. 

Remus dug through his memories briefly, to confirm that nothing had been lost to him. He seemed to remember it all though, the pub, the predictions for the year, the game of pool won with Sirius’s good luck. The singing and dancing, the stranger pulling him in, and Lily’s rescue. Sirius not by his side, Lily kissing James, more dancing. The walk back to the condo was the most clear in his mind, even if it felt hazy at the edges with the unpredictability of the situation.

When they had all stumbled back into James and Sirius’s condo, bottles of water had been passed around, and everyone encouraged each other to drink. Chips had been eaten out of bags, and other random snacks pulled out of cupboards. The group had mostly silently sat strewn around the space, exhausted, but thrilled, as they did what they could to save themselves from any more pain for the morning. Marlene and Dorcas had been the first to disappear, their condo was only a door down so they went home to sleep in their own beds. Peter had curled up onto the couch wordlessly, and drifted off, still in his button up shirt. 

That had been Remus’s sign to dig into the small bag he had brought, and grabbed pajamas and a toothbrush. He felt a little less intoxicated after he had changed, and the sleepy vibe of the living room helped as well. There was a guest room in the back that Mary had disappeared to. Before she went to follow, Lily kissed James on the cheek, and rustled his hair. 

James looked up at her like she would be the reason the sun would remember its duty to circumnavigate the globe in the morning. When she went to walk away he gently grabbed her hand and pulled her close again. Even in his state, James was a gentleman, but Remus’s heart almost broke when he heard his friend ask “Lily, what does this mean in the morning? Was this just tonight?” It was soft, and he sounded small. 

Lily had cupped his cheek with her hand, and with the gentlest of smiles, she told him, “Not just tonight. We’ll talk tomorrow.” She grabbed his hand that was in hers, and kissed his fingers before she followed where Mary had disappeared down a hallway. Remus figured that Lily had thought long and hard about her decision to kiss James, and was more than ready to embrace all that would follow. He also knew that James might have just had the craziest, and best night of his life.

James’s eyes said as much when she left, and he looked at Sirius, mouth agape. “I’m not dreaming, am I, Padfoot?” He asked. Remus had been too tired to question the nickname, as Sirius left the couch where they had been sitting side by side, and pulled James to his feet.

“Not dreaming, Prongs.” 

“I may barf.” James said, pale. Once Lily was gone, so was all his cool, as the reality of the night settled onto his drunken shoulders. 

“I know.” Sirius patted James's chest, and pulled his arm around him. “Remus, do you need anything?” Sirius had asked. 

Remus was almost as glad for the distraction of Sirius’s brotherly duties as he was devastated for the night and its promises to end. He had thought he had been so close to tasting those lips, and Sirius had never once taken off that leather jacket. As much as it looked so fantastic on him, Remus was starting to hate it, and the fact that it covered unknown tattoos he was so fascinated by. “Nah, I’m good.” He told him. 

Sirius's gaze in its familiar assessment stayed on him for a moment, until James groaned and rolled his head onto Sirius’s shoulder. It was his cue to leave. “Night.” He said as he turned towards the stairs with James. “Happy new year.”

“Happy new year.” Remus echoed, and he watched them go until they were safely up the stairs. After that, it had not taken long for Remus to pull one of the many blankets on the couch over himself, turn onto his side, and fall fast asleep. 

The condo was still quiet with sleep, but once Remus saw that time was past noon, he could not drift back to sleep. He padded as quietly as he could to the bathroom. When he was done, he left and cracked his back, the couch had been comfortable, but not supportive at all. He was no longer the only one awake in the house. Sirius was in the kitchen, with two cups of water in his hands. He was in pajama pants and a sweater, but he clearly had slept in his makeup. The eyeliner had smudged around his eyes, and one of the star stickers was still holding on for dear life, but was askew on his cheek. His hair had returned back to a state of rustled and knotted. The entire picture of him there in the light of the fridge door warmed Remus in its sweetness and domesticity. 

Sirius in the cool light of the fridge only reminded him of how he had glowed surrounded by snow and moonlight the night prior. And that, in turn, made Remus think of Sirius’s hand gently brushing away a curl on his face, and how he had called him “Moony.” Now, even in his dishevelment, Sirius looked beautiful, and Remus felt completely awkward in the face of it again. Here he was, barefooted and barely awake in Sirius’s kitchen, and he had no idea how long his welcome extended. 

Remus cleared his throat. “James survive?” 

Sirius closed the fridge door with this foot, no longer caught under Remus’s gaze. “Just about. Yeah.” Their speaking voices were low, Peter still fast asleep not far away. “Will take Lily kissing him like that again for him to believe he didn’t hallucinate last night though.” 

Remus gave a huff of laughter under his breath. “I’m sure that will be arranged.” He nodded over to the couch with Peter on it. “How much longer you think he’ll sleep for? I’m his and Lily’s ride.” 

Sirius shrugged. “He’ll sleep for an entire day straight if you let him. Good news is he also sleeps like a rock. The mountain could open up behind us and explode into a volcano and Pete would still sleep right through it. Here, let me bring these up to James, and we can do breakfast.” 

Remus nodded at him and watched as Sirius padded away. He returned only a few moments later, and in an outstretched hand, offered Remus one bluetooth earbud. When Remus just stared at it for a moment, Sirius said “I can’t work in a quiet house. If you wanted to share.” 

Remus took the earbud and settled it in his ear. “What can I do to help?” He asked as Sirius began to move around the kitchen, with his phone in hand. 

“Sit and look pretty.” Sirius instructed. 

Remus scoffed. “Sounds difficult, but I’ll try.” 

“Glad to hear it.” Sirius said, and as he set his phone down, Queen started to play through the earbud. It was a little in and out, as it was mixed to be heard by two ears of the same person, and not shared, but Remus found that it was almost just as fun to imagine the high notes he knew existed were in Sirius’s ears, before it transitioned over to him again. He nodded his approval at the song choice, and settled himself into the breakfast bar chair with a cup of water to slowly sip at. 

Sirius started bacon on a griddle, and began to stir together pancake mix. He moved around the kitchen in time with the songs, and Remus, head held up by one hand, found himself enjoying the show as he nodded along to Sirius’s playlist, similar to his, with just a bit of a harder sound. 

The songs transitioned, and the kitchen was filled with the smells of breakfast. Soon, it would be enough to serve as a wake up call for the rest of the condo. Sirius had opened the blinds of the kitchen windows, and he was illuminated by daylight. The window offered a close up view of the trails of Calset, with the condos designed to be ski-in, ski-out. Remus watched a few, lone skiers and riders go down the trail in a test to himself. The anxiety was there, but he was safe, behind the comfort of the walls. He could just ignore the trail, there was plenty enough to look at inside. When a song from The Kinks played, the lyrics sang of a full moon, and again, Remus was reminded of the name Sirius had called him by last night, when they had been practically chest to chest, and almost lip to lip. When he looked, Sirius was stood over the stove, but looking at him. Remus felt a bit warm, and wondered if Sirius was thinking of the same thing. There were other nicknames passed between friends last night though, and those he could focus on without getting too lost in his head.

“Padfoot?” Remus asked, without pretense. 

“Hmm?” Sirius asked, still his attention was on him. 

“James called you that, last night. What is it?” Remus pressed. Sirius turned down the music volume a bit. 

“Oh.” Sirius said. “My nickname, I guess. I’ve had it so long, I forget I need to explain it to people sometimes.” Remus understood the feeling, but about the scars on his face. Those remained unexplained, and had gone unasked. Remus waved at Sirius for him to go on. “It was just a little joke, really. James said I was so much more graceful on skis, and when I’m just on my feet, I pad around so noisily.” He had a crooked smile. “I used to be very clumsy. But, I wasn’t on skis, at least.”

Remus snorted a bit, he had thought just earlier that Sirius had padded through the kitchen, but he had never quite thought of him as ungraceful. “I suppose I see it.” He said. “And Prongs?” 

Sirius’s smile at the name was fond. “That was my own stupidity. There was a costume contest for a skiing pond skim when we were little, we wanted to go all out on dressing up. We were going to be super heroes, the both of us, but James’s mom had decided to dress him up as a deer. He had these funny little antlers that stuck into his helmet, and I was so annoyed that I had come dressed as Robin without a Batman, that I forgot the words, and so bullied his ‘prongs’ instead. I guess it stuck.” 

“I like that.” Remus said. 

“Here, I know I’ve got a picture somewhere.” Sirius said, and he scrolled through his phone. He handed it to Remus then went to flip the bacon. 

The picture was not high quality, taken on an old camera, but Sirius and James could not have been older than twelve years old in it. Sirius was taller than James, which was enough to make Remus chuckle. Sirius was in a race suit, with a yellow cape and red shirt that had Robin’s ‘R’ written in sharpie on it. James was in a brown onesie, and soft fabric antlers stuck out of his helmet. The boys had wide smiles on their faces, with gaps of the last of their missing baby teeth. Sirius had his arms crossed across James’s helmet, in a frozen attempt to pull off an antler. There was a crowd of people behind them, but the focus of the two boys in their joy made them inconsequential. 

“This is incredible.” Remus said with a soft smile. 

“If you scroll through, there's a few other pictures in that album from the pond skims across the years.” 

Remus did. The next year James was dressed as the same deer, but this time Sirius matched, with all black, and floppy ears hanging off his helmet. He had a dog nose drawn on his own nose. “We thought the name Prongs was so funny, he had to keep the costume for the next year, and I went with the animal theme too.” Sirius said, without looking. He clearly knew the order of the photos. In this photo, James had caught up to Sirius’s height. Sirius had a gold medal around his neck, and James a silver. “The pond skims were fun.” Sirius said with a bit of a sigh. 

The following photos involved a bit less costume pieces, but with novelty shirts with deers and dogs, they had clearly stuck to a theme. In each he watched the boys age, James grow taller, and they took up more and more space in the photos. In the second to last perhaps the boys aged 15, Remus couldn’t help but notice that Sirius’s smile wasn’t as bright. He looked tired, and James looked like he was slightly holding up his friend. Remus frowned a bit. The last photo in the small album was just James, with the gold medal, and the familiar antlers on his helmet. Sirius was absent from the photo.

Remus handed Sirius’s phone back to him. “Did you run out of dog outfits?” 

Sirius took a glance at the photo of James’s cocky smile, but with concern behind his eyes, and turned the phone off. He put it aside. “No.” Plates were filled with pancakes and bacon, fully cooked. “Had to stop after a while, my managers said silly things like pond skims were not worth my time, or a good look for my ‘image’.” Sirius said, a bit sadly.

Remus scoffed. “You were what? Sixteen? Surely at that age even up and coming athletes can have some fun. I would have fired your manager.” 

Sirius gave Remus an odd smile. “Hard to fire your mom.” He told him. 

“Ah.” Remus said simply.

Sirius gave a small shake, and after seeing so many photos of him dressed up as one, it was hard not to envision it like a dog shaking off a coat of unwanted water. “But that's the story of our nicknames. They’re not exclusive though, I can’t believe you hadn’t heard them before. Don’t be afraid to use them.” 

Remus reached across the kitchen counter, and stole a piece of bacon from the plate. It was still hot, and Sirius only pushed the plate a bit closer to him. “It probably would have been fun to know you two growing up.” He noted, and was half surprised he had said it outloud. The thought of that close brotherhood between the two of them, of a best friend always by your side, year after year, it was never something he had had. 

Sirius hummed. “Maybe for the best though, we used to be even worse than we are now.” He chuckled a bit. “Also,” he added, “you would have hated skiing with us.” 

The thought stung Remus that Sirius had just shared such a glimpse into his own past that Remus had not even thought to match. Sirius had no clue that the scarred man in front of him would absolutely have skied alongside a young James and Sirius, and likely been able to keep up, at least for a while. He had no idea that his wounds, external and not, had been a product of the same thing that had brought them all to this mountain. 

“It's never too late though.” Sirius said, both elbows on the breakfast counter, as he leaned towards Remus. 

“I would say that for me it is.” Remus said. “Besides, a famous Olympian, who hates his job, need I remind you, does not need to teach the marketing guy how to ski.” 

Sirius merely shrugged, and handed Remus another piece of bacon. “Can always teach an old dog new tricks.” It was a little tease, and Remus knew that Sirius, for whatever reason, was not going to press on the topic of skiing.

Remus smirked. “If either of us is a dog, it's you. A right dog with a bone.”

Sirius smiled. “That's right, because you’re mr. wolfman. Surprised you weren't howling at the moon last night with Marlene.”

Remus wanted to bait him, to hear that nickname again, to see if Sirius could even remember that he had said it. All thoughts of maintaining a professional work relationship, and friendship in general, seemed out the window. Remus had wanted to kiss him last night. Badly. And, if he didn’t think too hard about it, he could convince himself that Sirius had maybe wanted the same. And now, with Sirius still slightly smudged from the night before, dressed in his pajamas still, and making breakfast, Remus was not sure he could rely on those feelings passing anytime soon. Not for him at least. 

“Not sure how I feel about my nickname being Mr. Wolfman.” Remus said. 

Sirius was cracking eggs into a pan. “Good, cause it's not.” He said decisively. 

“Oh no?” Remus pushed, he was getting closer.

“Nah.” Sirius said, not giving in. Remus slumped his shoulders a bit. Sirius looked at him, and it looked like he might say something else, but a door down the hallway creaked open and Mary and Lily came out, bleary eyed and groaning. 

“You better not have eaten that all yet.” Mary said as she sniffed the air. 

“And coffee. Coffee is required.” Lily added.

Sirius turned to greet them after one last look at Remus. “Still hot off the griddle.” He told the girls. “You get first dibs.” 

“Amen!” Mary said, just loud enough that from upstairs they heard faintly, James groaned. 

“I’m up! I’m up!” Cried his distant voice.

From the couch, Peter gave a sharp “shhhh.” And a pillow was tossed over his head. 

The smell of coffee filled the kitchen shortly after. Sirius insisted on making everyone their cup, saying he could make the best coffee they’d all ever had. Remus had to admit, it was delicious, but felt sure that he was a bit biased. Lily and Mary also seemed pleased.

James descended the stairs, already dressed, but with a bit of a wince in his eyes. He looked at the table in a bit of fear, where they had gathered with plates full of food. When Lily looked over to him and gestured to the seat next to her, James blushed deeply, and slid into the spot. 

“Morning.” Lily said, not shy at all.

“Morning.” James said back, with all the shyness that Lily did not have. He twisted his hands in front of him.

Sirius made eyes at Remus like he couldn’t believe how unsuave his best friend was being. He rolled his eyes a bit, but it was all with a smile. Remus smiled back. 

Lily put an empty plate in front of James and looked at him with a bit of sternness. “None of that now. Keep on treating me like you had been, like friends.” 

Everyone's breath around the table was held as James’s heart was held in front of them, ready to be crushed in her hand. “Like friends?” He asked, embarrassingly meager. Sirius silently facepalmed. 

“Yes.” Lily said, confident, as she put a pancake on his plate and handed him maple syrup. “That was how you won me over, so keep up that behavior, none of this shy nonsense. I want the James Potter I’ve gotten to know over the past year.”  James looked at her with mouth agape, and for the first time, Lily looked unsure, and she glanced around the table, like she had read something wrong. “That is…of course…if James Potter still wants me.” 

The breath of the table was released, and James’s smile cracked his face, and the world was full of sunshine. “Oh my god, yes, Lily, of course.” His voice was full again. 

“Good.” Lily said, recomposing herself. “Good.” 

“Can you pass me a napkin?” Mary asked, and just like that, the moment moved on, and Remus enjoyed one of the best brunches he could ever remember. When the pancakes had cooled enough, Sirius chucked one over his shoulder onto the couch, and it landed on Peter’s face with a comical laugh. Remus covered his laugh with his hand. 

“Urgg.” Peter said from the couch.

“All the food is getting cold, Pete. Time to get up.” Sirius told him. 

“If you don’t come get some, I will eat it all.” Remus informed him. 

“Fine. fine.” Peter said and finally started to sit up. “Christ. Who let me sleep in this shirt?” He asked as a very wrinkled Peter joined them at the table. 

“You.” Mary informed him, as Peter began filling a plate. 

“You’re not the worst off, Pete.” James said. “At least you don’t still have stars on your face.”

Sirius’s hand shot up to his face, where the last star sticker still held on tight. He looked at Remus, accusatory. “All that time in the kitchen, and you didn’t tell me I had forgotten to take off my make-up?”

Remus, with a mouthful of bacon, waved his hand until he finished chewing. “I thought it still looked good.” He said, nonchalantly. 

“You’re useless.” Sirius said, but it was with a smile, and Remus didn’t feel any sting from the words. He watched Sirius go as he went to the bathroom to wash his face. 

He turned his attention back to the table as Mary asked “James, did you find out if you’ll be able to go?”

“No.” James said, with a slight grimace. “It's the one weekend I can’t get off apparently. Too busy and all that with it being a holiday weekend. I really did try though.” 

Mary grimaced. “Same for the rest of us then. If you can’t take time then, we’ll never be allowed.” 

Peter jumped in. “I looked too, but it's the weekend my parents are coming to visit, so I have to be around.” 

“What are we talking about?” Remus asked. 

“Two weeks from now.” James explained. “Sirius has a race that he needs to fly out to Colorado for. Normally I go with him, or if I can’t at least one of us will go. He can’t stand to be at those events alone.” 

“Oh.” Remus said shortly. 

“He’ll be fine though, right?” Lily asked. “It's just one race.” 

James rolled his shoulders a bit. “He’ll live of course. It’s just…things have gotten harder recently, and there's always a chance his parents show up to those bigger events. I absolutely don’t love him going alone. I’ve hardly ever had to miss any of his races. As much as he likes to pretend it doesn’t matter, it means everything to him to have someone at the finish line.” James frowned. Remus thought of how Mary and James had been there to show Sirius their support even just for a race practice at the start of the season. He thought of the way Sirius deflated when he spoke about his job, the way he had looked slumped against a wall while on the phone with his mother, and the way his smile had faded across years of pictures. He wasn’t sure if it was within his right to feel protective of Sirius, but he found that he did. 

Without much fanfare, Remus said, “I’ll go.” 

James’s brown eyes flew to Remus with hope. “Will you? Really?” He sounded excited, and relieved most of all. 

“‘Course.” Remus said, and hoped it sounded casual. “Dumbledore already cares so much about showing him off, I’m sure I can get approved to travel with him and call it a work thing.” 

Peter nodded his head back and forth in quick thought. “I’ll reckon you’re right. I’m sure he’ll even have the mountain pay for your flight.” 

James gave Remus a quick look, his eyebrows knitted. “You’re sure?” 

Remus knew he was thinking of the rocky inbetween of Sirius and Remus’s time knowing each other. James didn’t want him to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with, even if it would set another part of his heart at ease. 

“Absolutely.” Remus said, sure in his intentions, even if the thought of such a trip and time had released a whole new set of butterflies in his stomach. 

James reached across the table and put his hand over Remus’s, and gave it a slight shake. “You’re so good Remus. Thank you.” 

Remus didn’t have time to look too pleased before Sirius returned from the bathroom. His face was a bit red from being scrubbed at. “Alright.” He said, as he clapped his hands together once. “I cooked, now the rest of you can do the dishes.” 

Remus looked up at Sirius where he stood, red faced, sharp, stunning, and vulnerable. He felt like he had received James’s blessing, and felt a bit emboldened by it. “I thought my job was to sit and look pretty?” He asked innocently.

Sirius grinned. “Ah.” He said, sounding thrilled. Remus felt even more excited and more nervous for his trip. “Remus is right. The rest of you all get to work.” 

“Assholes.” Peter grumbled, but he shoved the rest of his food into his mouth and began gathering plates. 

Remus figured this was more than a decent start to his year. 

Chapter Text

It turned out that Sirius Black was afraid of airplanes. Or more broadly, flying, and even more broadly within that, heights. Remus had discovered this when he offered Sirius the window seat on their flight to Colorado. He figured that the whole reason for the trip was Sirius, and it would help the star athlete not be recognized. Sirius had paled dramatically, and said quite plainly that it would be better if Remus took the window seat. He was happy to, he had always preferred it, but when Sirius explained why, Remus’s jaw dropped.

“You’re afraid of heights?” 

Sirius tucked his carry-on bag under the seat in front of him, and nodded at Remus. He was tight lipped. 

“Sirius, you are a skier. You are constantly, always, going up so high on a mountain, on a dangling chair at sometimes crazy heights. You’re scared of heights? How do you manage any of it?”

Sirius sat back into his seat, and pulled the buckle across his lap, even though the plane would not be taking off for some time still. “It bothers me less now than it used to I guess. Had a long time to get used to it.” 

“You do realize that this sounds like telling me you’re a scuba diver scared of the ocean, or a teacher scared of kids?” Remus asked, incredulous.

Sirius gave a bit of a nervous laugh. “Yeah, it does sound crazy.” 

“Don’t you and James fly all the time?” Remus asked. 

Sirius fiddled with the seat tray in front of him. “Yeah. I just do my very best to be brave about it all.” He was trying to keep his voice light, like it was a joke, but it was clearly not.

Remus pulled his teasing short. If anyone understood fears, it was Remus. Every day he had to walk anywhere near the trails of Calset, his heart raced, and he would do anything to avoid being close to anyone with skis on their feet. It had taken him a very long time to feel comfortable enough to get close enough to even the bunny slope where the smallest of children were being taught by James to ski. If Sirius really was able to swallow his own fears each time he raced, worked, or flew, then Remus could only admire him even more. 

“Is it easier to be brave with a distraction then?” Remus asked, softer.

Sirius stopped messing with the seat in front of him. “Always.” 

“Good. I downloaded some movies for the flight.” Remus said, and gave Sirius one of his earbuds.

“Oo, and what does your selection include?” Sirius said, as he leaned into Remus’s space to look at the laptop Remus had brought with him. He found he didn’t so much mind the intrusion.

“I was thinking we could start with The Princess Bride.” Remus said. 

Sirius’s face lit up, and if it was Remus who needed a distraction from being on in a metal container that would soon be in the sky, that smile was enough. “As you wish.”

*

James had asked Remus not to tell Sirius about his plan to try and travel to the upcoming race with him until they knew it would be approved. James hadn’t wanted to make promises they couldn’t keep, and Remus agreed. Luckily, Remus and Peter had found it very easy to pitch the idea to Dumbledore. All Remus had to do was make an excuse about only trusting his photography for the brand he was aiming for with the mountain, and how in the grand scheme of things, a flight and hotel room for him for a few days would end up cheaper than ongoing rights to photos. Dumbledore had also potentially grumbled about Remus working “to keep Black in line” but Remus pretended he hadn’t heard that. 

That day, Sirius had found Remus stretched across the couch in Lily’s office.

“I feel like you never work out of your own office.” Sirius said as he strode through the door, sitting on the couch and leaning against Remus’s legs. 

“Hi, Sirius.” Lily said without looking up from her computer. It was a very good thing that she was capable of working through distractions. Remus was finding that apparently he was not.

“I’m in my office plenty!” Remus defended. “Lily’s office just happens to have a kettle, and better sunlight.” Those were strong enough reasons, but Remus had also found that none of Lily’s windows faced the mountains, and instead looked out to the parking lot. On days where his anxiety and memories acted up, when the trauma felt too close, and the sight of people reduced to small black dots in their distance flying down the mountain was just too much, Lily’s office had become a sanctuary and break from it. 

“Sure, sure.” Sirius said. “At least I know it's not you trying to avoid me, since you know I’ll find you here anyways.”

Remus smiled. “Never that.” He said. “In fact, good news.” He told Sirius, then added quickly, “Or hopefully you’ll think it's good news. But Dumbledore approved me to be able to travel to Colorado to photograph your race in a few weeks.” 

Sirius’s eyes had widened in surprise, and he looked back and forth between Lily and Remus. “That is fantastic news!!” He said, and his excitement transferred directly into Remus. He knew he heard Lily snicker under her breath. “Oh, how fun. Have you ever been out there?” Remus shook his head that he hadn’t. “Even better! I can be your tour guide, and just you wait till you see those mountains, they’re nothing like they are here, and the lodges are simply incredible. Oh I can’t wait.” 

Remus felt infinitely pleased. “I’m excited too.” And he meant it. “It’s only for 3 nights though, and with your race, there may not be time for a lot of tourism.” 

Sirius brushed off the comment, and began to debate outloud which restaurant was the absolute best and ‘worthy of Remus’. Eventually, he headed out of the office, saying he wanted to go chat with James, who would be glad to know he had a travel buddy. Remus and Lily had bid him goodbye. 

When Sirius left, Lily sighed fondly, then gave Remus a pointed look. “I literally don’t think I’ve ever seen him that excited about having to fly out for a race.” 

Remus hardly bothered to hide his blush, and shrugged. “Sounds like he was excited for that coffee shop he was talking about.” He offered.

Lily rolled her eyes at him before she turned back to her monitor. “Yeah, I’m sure that's it.” 

*

Remus was thankful that the flight was smooth. No turbulence apparently meant that Sirius was comfortable enough to fall asleep on the five hour flight. As much as Remus didn’t mind flying, he had never been able to fall asleep on planes. The appeal to look out the window was too strong, and he never slept well anyways unless he had an ungodly amount of pillows and blankets to surround him. This time, it also could have been slightly attributed to the fact that as he dozed, Sirius’s head had fallen onto Remus’s shoulder, his arm pressed heavily into his, the armrest between them pulled up, and he worried that one wrong move would make him move away. 

When it was time for descent, and the seatbelt light turned back on, Remus gently shook Sirius’s knee. His seatbelt had never come off during the course of the flight, but Remus figured that it was likely easier to wake Sirius up before the descent started and woke him up with a fright. Sirius woke up quietly, and took in his surroundings like he was surprised to find himself there, and Remus all but watched the calmness that had been created gently fade into quiet fear. He recognized it, because he knew it. 

“Morning.” Remus said under his breath, to not wake the other passengers. It was hardly a morning hour anymore, but it was a nice word to say to Sirius. 

“Are we almost there?” Sirius asked.

Remus nodded. “We should start descending any moment now.” 

Sirius took a deep, practiced breath. “This is always the worst part.” 

“Would another movie help? We can start anything and finish it when we fly back.”

Sirius shook his head. “No, I can never focus on anything other than the plane for this part. We’ve found it's better to just ride it out and let me pray to gods I don’t believe in.” 

Remus hummed. “Let me know if any of them respond.” Then the pilot came over the speaker to announce the descent. Sirius grimaced, even as the friendly voice told them the time and temperature of where they would be landing. Remus saw Sirius’s hands balled into tight fists, and knew that likely his nails were being dug harshly into the palm of his hands. 

“It’ll be over soon.” Sirius said to himself. “It's not for long, this will pass.” 

“Soon.” Remus reassured. Then Sirius looked at him with a nock of concern between his eyebrows, like Remus’s promise would ensure that the plane would get safely on the ground even faster just because he had said it. Remus couldn’t handle it. He glanced down, and pulled Sirius’s hand nearest to him into his own, and let them rest wordlessly between them. Then, Remus stared straight ahead at the headrest in front of him, and willed himself to not panic. It felt silly, the small act of holding a hand should perhaps only be so nerve wracking for little children, but to Remus it felt bold, and important. When two breaths passed and Sirius had not pulled his hand away, he relaxed his shoulders. Sirius’s hand was cold, and felt feeble in his hands. He gave Sirius’s hand a small squeeze. “Soon.” He repeated. He was relieved when Sirius squeezed his hand back. 

When the plane bumped its way onto the tarmac, Sirius’s eyes squeezed shut, and Remus’s hand was gripped tightly. He didn't open his eyes until Remus lightly said “It's over.” 

Sirius gently pulled his hand from Remus’s as he blinked. His shoulders had already de-tensed with the wheels of the plane on the ground, a well practiced routine. “Christ, that's embarrassing. Sorry about that.” He murmured. Then louder, and a bit more sure he gave a funny sort of laugh. “Did James warn you about me being a big crybaby about planes?” 

Remus shook his head, and with everyone else, they unbuckled and stood to wait in the unorganized line of unloading. With Remus’s height, and the very low ceilings above the seat, he had to duck quite a bit, which put his face close to Sirius’s. “No.” He said. James had been too busy with lessons the past few days, and when they had talked, it had mostly been about how important it was to him that Sirius was going to have support. Sirius’s eyes roamed everywhere, but Remus’s face, but they had time to wait, so Remus looked at Sirius until it would be more awkward for him to not return the eye contact. “I think you were very brave.” He told him, entirely earnestly. 

Sirius’s eyes flicked down to the ground briefly before they met his again. Each time Remus saw them, the danger behind them faded, as his idea of Sirius grew to far more than just his sport. The grey was soft as ever. Not a storm, but a cloudy day that would be the perfect excuse to just sit comfortably with a book for hours. 

The line of people behind them began to move, as bodies shoved their way to their bags and through the narrow aisle. Sirius bumped his shoulder into Remus’s as he said “It’s too early in the trip for you to start getting sappy at me already, Lupin.” 

Remus gave a little chuckle, willing to let Sirius move past the moment. With bag in hand, he followed Sirius into the aisle and groaned as he stretched his long body for the first real time in hours. After he allowed his back to crack, he followed Sirius’s swift movements to get off of the plane, and out of the terminal. Sirius was close at Remus’s side, as they moved to pick up their luggage. Sirius’s long ski bag was easy to spot, and he grabbed them like their heavy weight was familiar as anything. The sight of the bag reminded Remus why they were here in the first place, and he knew neither of them was quite pleased about it. Sirius had sighed when he picked them up.

Even though he hadn’t slept, and his body was tired, the closeness Remus had been permitted to Sirius over the course of the last few hours made him feel more awake than ever, even with the skis between them. “Let's drop those off at the hotel.” Remus said, and Sirius looked up at him. “Then, you said you had some spots to show me?” 

Sirius grinned. “Absolutely, I do.” 

***

With luggage, and rental car in tow, Sirius drove them to the lodge they would be staying at for a few nights. The drive from the airport to the mountains was longer than Remus expected, and the terrain shifted from a flat city, to broken up roads that carved through mountains unlike anything he was familiar with. He was forever grateful, yet still surprised, at Sirius’s careful driving, especially through steep declines and sharp turns. The lodge itself was extravagant, especially compared to Calset. The ceilings of the lobby rose high above their heads, stone walls mixed with wooden logs, and fire places that roared. The lodge was also deeply crowded, a result of the athletes coming to stay, all those who were just there to watch the race, as well as vacationing families. 

When they were told the front desk, gym, pool and hot tub operating hours, and handed key cards, they took the luggage up to their rooms. Two separate spaces, but adjoined with a door in the middle. Remus hadn’t packed much, and threw his bag onto the bed. They had agreed to take a while to freshen up, and Sirius would knock on Remus’s door when he was ready. The room was fancier than anything Remus had ever stayed in, and played heavily into the ski, alpine style. He took the silence to splash water on his face, take a short power nap, and changed out of his comfortable clothes he had picked for flying. He wasn’t quite sure if this was a date, the line between him and Sirius had grown fuzzier and fuzzier with the minute, but he wanted to look decent enough. He picked the same rust colored jumper that he had worn when Sirius had first stood him up for lunch together. The raven hair man had apologized, Remus understood and accepted it, and given Sirius another chance. So, he thought, the sweater deserved a second shot too. 

After a few moments to clear out various notifications on his phone, Sirius knocked on the door, the one to the hallway, not into his room. Remus opened it. “Time to go?”

Sirius had also cleaned up, and Remus noted he was wearing that same star decorated leather jacket. His hair had been brushed clean, and while his face was clean of make-up, Remus still couldn’t help but notice his flawless skin. He knew his own face, scarred and freckled, was a far cry from the porcelain face of Sirius. His own grey eyes lit up at the sight of Remus though, or perhaps he made it up. Sirius reached out to lightly tug on the sleeve of Remus’s jumper. 

“You going to be warm enough in this?” He asked.

Remus held up his real winter jacket in his farther hand. “I’ve got this. Why? Don’t like this one?”

“No!” Sirius said quickly, as he stepped away from the door frame to let Remus out. “I think it looks great, and I didn’t get to tell you that last time.” So he did remember the sweater. The thought made Remus feel a touch smug. “Really brings out your eyes.” Sirius added with a sideways look as they moved down the hall to the elevator. 

“I thought it was too early in the trip to get sappy?” Remus asked. 

Sirius shrugged good naturedly. “We get to make up the rules as we go along.” 

“Works for me.” Remus agreed. 

***

The lodge had a path that led to the main street of the ski town. It was also crowded, and touristy, but Sirius seemed to be so excited to lead Remus around it that he couldn’t help but feel the magic of the street, even with ski mountains and trails looming ever behind them in the distance. There were so many shops filled with souvenirs and trinkets. They popped into one and Remus found a dainty Christmas ornament with the name of the town. “For my tree next year.” He explained. He also picked out a postcard to hang in his office, and another to mail out to his parents. 

With his little bag in tow Sirius continued the tour. There was a coffee shop, and Remus insisted on buying Sirius's cup. When he ordered just hot chocolate Remus raised an eyebrow at him. “Caffeine is way too much for me before a race.” Sirius told him. “Makes me so jittery. But I promise, this is the most delicious cup of hot chocolate you’ve ever had. Try a sip.” 

Remus did, and sipped from the same spot Sirius just had. “Oh wow.” He said as he lowered the cup from his mouth. “You’re right, that is dreamlike.” 

“My treat tomorrow then.” Sirius declared. They continued down the street. There was an ice skating rink, and they walked up to the edge to watch the couples and children circle around the loop. “Is that something you would try?” Sirius asked, his cup held up in front of him. The sun was beginning to set, and the pinks in the sky made him look alive, and made the pink of his cold nose stand out. Remus was a little lost in just looking at him, and had to blink twice to understand Sirius’s words.

“Try ice skating?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Sirius said, as he looked back out towards the skaters. “I know you don’t ski, but is this different?” 

Remus considered the shorter man, then considered the rink in front of him. “You know, I don’t know.” And it was true. It wasn’t skiing, they were far different enough, but somehow tied closely together in his response that Remus’s fear sparked a little in his stomach. He had never tried ice skating at all before. He watched the people as they went, there were so many of them, darting back and forth between each other, some clumsy and some skillful. It seemed that perhaps it would be an easy place for someone to run into another person, send them toppling over. There was no slope to be sent down, no trees to crash into, but there were sharp edges on feet. He continued to watch, as the fear battled its way to the forefront, but he thought about Sirius’s eyes squeezed shut on the plane, and how he had held his hand as Remus had done what little he could to support him working through that fear. Sirius had been brave for that, and apparently faced his fears every single time he did his job. 

“Don’t have to of course. I was just curious.” Sirius said, still letting Remus consider.

Remus’s thoughts of disaster were distracted by that. He had mostly just thought Sirius was making casual conversation, but now it seemed like he was inviting him to go out on the rink together. “I’ve never done it before.” He said truthfully.

Sirius turned to face away from the rink, back pressed against the wooden barriers as he moved into Remus’s space. “I’ll help you.” 

Remus found he quite wanted to say yes, but every bone in his body that had been shattered before, and every scar that had bled to the point they would never fade pulled against him. “Maybe on our last day?” He asked Sirius. Maybe by then he could muster the courage. To at least try. 

“Really?” Sirius asked, like he couldn’t believe his answer. 

“No promises.” Remus rushed to say, he didn’t want to disappoint him. “But I’ll think about it, if that's alright?” 

Even with his wobbly answer, Sirius’s smile was sweet and genuine, almost a new one that Remus didn’t recognize. “Of course.” He said, and he gave a small lean into Remus’s space, not quite a nudge, not quite a hug, but something in between. “Let's go, I have had this dinner place picked out ever since you said you were coming.” 

***

Remus pulled off his shoes in his hotel room, and sat at the edge of his bed. Dinner had been delicious, and slightly fancy. And as Remus and Sirius had talked the entire way through the meal, and half a bottle of wine, he had to wonder more than once if it was a date or not. When Sirius left the table to ‘use the bathroom’ he actually paid for the bill, and when Remus acted upset about it, he had simply winked. When they had walked back to the lodge the sun had long since set, and the temperatures had dropped with it. They walked, half pressed into each other, and if Sirius was also pretending that it was much colder than reality, neither of them called the other out on it. 

When they got back to the lodge, there was still not a lot of space between them, or in the elevator. At the two separate room doors though, Sirius lingered for just a moment, and Remus’s heart sped. He hadn’t been brave earlier about ice skating, but he was ready to be brave and ask if Sirius wanted to sit together a while longer. Before he could cash in on that bravery though, a stranger walked out of his room across the hall, ice bucket in hand. He clearly recognized Sirius, who had pulled away from Remus’s side. Sirius introduced the stranger, Frank, as another racer, and Remus as working for marketing at Calset. 

The conversation with Frank about the race the next day, however short, had pulled Sirius out of the small bubble he had created with Remus, and they had said a quick goodnight to each other, and slipped into their separate rooms. 

Remus was still tired, but found himself wired, and unable to get comfortable in the bed once he had put on pajamas and attempted to sleep. The time difference between Colorado and Maine was not devastating, but just enough to be an annoyance on a night where he would have to be up at a decent time the next day. It resulted in him pacing across the hotel room, and glancing occasionally at the door that led into Sirius’s room. There was no light under the door, and Remus hoped that he had been able to slip into an easy sleep. He would be the one who would have a truly exhausting next day. 

After another fruitless attempt to sleep, Remus knew that he needed to expel a bit of his restless energy. The thought of spending a day on a crowded slope was nerve wracking enough, but his maybe date with Sirius, and the little looks, was also keeping him up. He went through his luggage and pulled out the swim trunks he had packed, pulled the bathrobe embroidered with the lodge’s logo, and moved through elevators and hallways. When he got to the door for the indoor pool, he realized it had closed for the night, but there was a little sign that said the outdoor hot tub remained on all night, so he made his way to that. 

The step out onto the paved patio was a cold shock to his system, and he could see his breath in the air around him. Fog pooled from where the hot tub hummed ahead of him. It looked out over the ski mountain, which was not lit for night skiing, but the glow of the full moon made it appear like an eerie ghost. There was one other person in the hot tub, and Remus hoped he wouldn’t disturb them too much, but he was already so cold in his bathrobe and swim trunks, that he couldn’t not get in the hot water now. When he shed the fuzzy bathroom and approached the hot tub, he said a low “Sorry.” for his own presence. 

He shivered in the cold, as the person looked up, and of course, like he should really have expected it, was faced with Sirius. His grim expression melted as he also realized it was Remus. “Fancy meeting you here stranger.” Sirius said.

“Is it alright if I get in?” Remus said, arms held closely around his chest. Somehow, the idea of his scarred body being seen by a stranger was far less terrifying than it was now that he realized it was Sirius.

“Please.” Sirius said. He was up to his chin in the water. “I was just thinking about miserable racing things, so this is a very welcome change of pace.” 

“Oh okay, if I’m only interrupting your miserable time then.” Remus joked. He started with just a toe in the water, and with as cold as his feet were in the winter air, it burned.

“You need to go fast and get it over with, then it’ll be worth it.” Sirius advised. Remus listened, and quickly stepped down into the hot tub fully, and he submerged himself up to his shoulders. Once the hot burn subsided, his body regulated to a very comfortable temperature, and it was enough to balance the cold air on his face. He let out a sigh of relief at the warmth, and settled into one of the built-in seats. Both he and Sirius faced out towards the huge mountain in front of them. 

The ends of Sirius’s hair touched the water, and fanned out around him, the shorter pieces curled up around his face in the humidity. His face was slightly damp too with the steam, and the tops of bare, pale shoulders were just visible under the water line. Remus suddenly had the thought that he perhaps should have turned and ran as soon as he realized who it was, but then the thought that he could finally get a look at Sirius’s tattoos convinced him that this was the smartest thing he had ever done. 

First, though, he couldn’t ignore that Sirius had clearly been out here upset. “You want to talk about it?” He asked.

Sirius moved back from the center and deepest part of the tub, and back into a seat next to Remus. There, black ink started to become visible. The patchwork tattoos closer to Remus, and the sleeve on his other side. “No.” Sirius said, and reached up to push a few wet strands of hair out of his face. Remus followed the movement closely. “Nothing new to say on it at all, just the same old same old.” Remus pulled his eyes off of Sirius’s arms, to meet his gaze. “Although, I suppose I’ve never done this with you here before.” 

Remus really, really was trying to focus on his words. “I don’t think you can use picking me up for work as an excuse to miss this race, Sirius.” 

“No, probably not.” Sirius admitted, and Remus didn’t know if he was imagining it, or if Sirius had moved a bit closer. “But you’re also pretty good at distractions.” 

Like a light that had been flicked on in a dark room, Sirius’s mood shifted. Any trace of his damp mood evaporated with the smoke of the hot tub, and into the night air. Distracted in his own ways, Remus could play along. “Tell me about your tattoos?” He said, a demand disguised as a request. 

Sirius smiled, and raised the arm closer to Remus above the water. “This is my collection, half of them are just because I thought they looked cool.” Remus scanned Sirius’s arm, it was covered in florals, and nature designs. There were antlers of a stag, surrounded by paw prints, and Remus could only think of the costumes that Sirius and James wore in their pictures. It made him smile. Others were more abstract, and there was still plenty of room for more. “Mostly all different artists, I love a good collection.” Sirius said.

“And your other arm?” Remus asked, hungry to see more. 

Sirius shifted onto his knees, so he faced Remus entirely. Now, more than anything, Remus found that the tattoos were more of a distraction from how close Sirius’s face was to his. The sleeve offered a lot to take in though. Most of his arm was covered in a style that was akin to a map, trails that wound down Sirius’s arm, intersected with each other, and were named. Above, over a subtle and abstract mountain range, were mapped constellations, stars connected by dots and lines into the shapes of the sky. 

“Wow.” Remus said, and he reached out his hand to trace one of the constellations he was familiar with, Orion. It was always an easy one to recognize in the night sky, the belt of three bright stars. He followed that line on Sirius’s wet arm to a larger star that was under them. “This is incredible.” He said, unsure why his own voice was hushed. 

Sirius gave a little laugh, Remus’s hand still over the tattooed star. “Like that one?” He asked, something in his voice Remus couldn’t name.

“Yes.” Remus said, certain. It was stunning. While all of Sirius’s tattoos were mostly blackwork, this one had white ink woven into it, one of the largest of the inken stars on his skin, matched only by one other. 

“It's me.” Sirius said, voice low. Remus took his hand back, slowly, and looked up at Sirius, a bit confused. 

“You?” He thought about it for just a second, the star, the man in front of him, how what now seemed like a lifetime ago when he had met Sirius, he thought to himself that something about it sounded familiar. “Oh.” He said, and felt a bit stupid as he realized. “Sirius. The brightest star in the sky.” 

“Well, you flatter me, Moony.” Sirius said, hands on his knees under the water. 

Remus couldn’t help the sly smile that slid across his face. So he had heard Sirius correctly as they had walked home in the dark after new years eve. “Moony?” He crooned at Sirius. He leaned back from his inspection of the tattoos a bit, but found that Sirius lent forward to match him. 

“Yeah. Moony.” Sirius said. “Your nickname.” 

“I do certainly like that better than Wolfman, or Mr. Marketing.” Remus chuckled, but it was deep, and he felt that maybe the heat of the hot tub was getting to him. 

“Well obviously, it's far prettier. So, it matches you.” Sirius said, like he was proud of himself.  

Remus blinked. “Pretty?” 

Sirius looked at him, as if it was a silly question. Remus had never, ever been called pretty. “Of course.” Sirius said softly. “In the sun, of course, you’re glorious, but you step back. You prefer the dark, you think it hides you, but the moon…it makes you shine.” 

Remus felt totally taken aback. Never had anyone spoken so kindly of his appearance. Never had him and his comfort felt so seen. Never had anyone ever looked at Remus the way Sirius was looking at him now. Never had Remus felt so much want. He gulped, felt his Adam's apple bob up and down. Never, ever, was he so sure that he needed to kiss someone. 

In the second before he could lean into Sirius though, as he built his courage and watched those carved lips in front of him, Sirius leaned back ever so slightly. “You don’t have to come to the race tomorrow, you know.” 

Remus’s thoughts jumped and leap frogged in front of him, not fast enough to keep up. “Huh?” Was all he could ask.

“I so deeply appreciate you coming out here with me, truly. But I know you hate being on the trail. You don’t have to.” 

Remus had to give his head a small shake, the heat of the hot tub making him feel too slow to process the quick change in the conversation. “I don’t hate being on the trail.” He tried. 

“You do.” Sirius said.

“I need the photos for work.” He tried again. 

Sirius sat back a bit further. “Just wanted you to know it’s fine if you can’t. I’ll be okay. You’ve already done enough for me.” 

It made sense if Sirius aware that Remus had been sent for moral support, in place of James. Remus hadn’t realized though that Sirius was aware of the irony of the situation. He took a breath to steady himself in the dizziness of the night. “I’d like to be there. For you.” 

Sirius smiled, and Remus could only think how ridiculous it was that the man in front of him had just called him pretty, and glorious. Like a rose looking at a blade of grass and finding anything different about it from the rest of the grass that grew around it. The too fancy lodge, the looming mountain behind them, the need to kiss Sirius that had gone unfulfilled, none of it mattered in the wake of Sirius’s smile. “Okay.” 

Under the moon and stars they looked at each other, together matched in fears and attempts at bravery, understood and seen. Remus could have stayed in it forever. Suddenly though the bubblers in the hot tub shot into action, and the silence of the night was broken. It started Remus into a laugh, which was quickly matched by Sirius. 

“Come on.” Remus said, as he reached out of the hot tub for the bathrobe he had set aside. “It's been a busy day, and another early morning tomorrow.” 

They padded through the quiet halls of the lodge back to their rooms, wrapped tightly in towels and robes as they shivered. At the doors, Sirius only looked up at Remus, and quickly said “Goodnight, Moony. Thank you.” And disappeared through his door. Remus was glad to be within the warmth of his own room, and after he quietly flipped the lock on the door that separated him and Sirius to open, he made fast work of pulling on his pajamas and digging himself under a pile of blankets. The length of the day, travel and otherwise, caught up with him, and he settled into sleep with ease.

Chapter Text

The skies of Colorado the next day were clear as the sun rose over mountains and cast shadows across valleys and trees. When Remus woke up in an unfamiliar bed, he had to lay still for a while longer, and take stock of everything that had happened the day before. It had been a lot. The flight with Sirius asleep on his side. Standing outside the ice skating rink. Their dinner together. And of course, the hot tub. As he thought of their final conversation before they had parted for the night, Remus panicked for a moment, worried that he had overslept, missed the race, and disappointed Sirius by not being there. After he quickly reached for his phone though, the time quickly proved him wrong, and he let his head fall back into the pillow for a little bit more. 

The breakfast at the lodge was just fine, and Remus let Sirius know that it absolutely did not live up to his homemade breakfast from the first of the year. The sleepy smile he received in return actually helped to make it taste better. They sat at a small, two person table, tucked away from the rest of the racers, spectators, and general vacationers. 

Sirius had just worked through his plate of fruit. “So the good news is, the trail the race is on is on the front side of the mountain. That's pretty intentional, so you don’t have to be on skis to get to it. I’ll have to be over early, so take your time, there will be plenty of other photographers and people walking over right before. Just go on and follow them.” Sirius was filled with tense energy, and Remus could only feel bad for him. “There will be plenty of space to stand off to the side, your camera’s nice enough you’ll be able to capture everything you need from a distance. Really, if it's too much, don’t worry about it.” 

Remus set his fork down, and gave Sirius his firmest but kindest look possible. “I’ll be there.” He had no idea how or when Sirius had picked up on his fear of the slopes, and even if Sirius didn’t know quite the extent of it, he appreciated it, nonetheless.  

“Shit.” Sirius said under his breath after a glance past Remus’s head.

Remus almost went to turn and look, but thought better of it. “What?” 

“I think I just saw my parents over there.” Sirius explained, as he wiggled closer to the wall. 

Remus’s own stomach sank. James had mentioned that sometimes Sirius’s parents, his ‘management’ showed up to higher profile races. He watched Sirius’s face become clouded. If his mothers words could have such an impact over a phone call, Remus could only imagine the weight of her physical presence. “Should we go?” Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head. “No, it looked like they were just walking out.” He gave a small shiver. “Ugh. Okay, whatever, if we just keep our distance, we won’t let them ruin the weekend.” 

“I’m okay with that.” Remus added. 

They were interrupted by a stranger who Remus had seen at the closest table, looking over her shoulder a few times throughout the course of breakfast. She walked over shyly, and asked Sirius if it was alright if she took a picture with him. Sirius put on a good face, snapped a quick selfie, thanked her, and then slumped back down into his seat. “What?” He asked, at the amusement Remus knew was evident on his face. 

“It's just not every morning I have breakfast with a celebrity.” Remus said sideways as he chewed a bite of food. 

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Celebrity is a very strong word to use.” 

Remus swallowed and gave a faux thoughtful look. “Aw, come on. I’m sure that she has one of those motorbike photoshoots on her wall, and is kicking herself for not having it on her for you to sign.” 

A grin spread across Sirius’s face as he leaned across the table towards Remus, who felt pleased about his mission being accomplished. “Motorbike photoshoot?” Sirius asked, mouth slightly agape. 

Even if Remus had mentioned the photos very intentionally to distract Sirius from his tension about the race, and the sudden appearance of his parents, he still felt suddenly quite flushed. “Yeah?” He said uncertainty. The distraction had maybe worked a little too well. 

“Moony, did you google me?” Sirius asked, pleased as punch. 

Remus felt even warmer, the nickname certainly didn’t help, but also endeared him to Sirius’s excitement. He tried so hard to play it cool. “Sure.” He said. “All part of being a marketing manager. I have to know what I’m working with.” 

Sirius sat back in his seat, and folded one leg over the other. “And did you like what you saw?” He teased.

Remus had. Very much so. “Professionally, I cannot comment.” Remus said, hoping to fluster Sirius back. It did not work though, as Sirius narrowed his eyes playfully. 

“Maybe you have a poster on your walls that you’d like signed?” 

Remus was spared from a reaction or answer when a voice across the room shouted “Black! Let's go, you can’t be late again.” 

Remus turned to look and saw a tiny, short haired woman, standing next to the racer, Frank, they had met briefly the night before. The jolt back to reality hit Remus as well as Sirius, who stood from breakfast, his bag of gear already next to him.

“Don’t worry about your plate, I’ve got it.” Remus told him, as Sirius’s light was dimmed. 

“Thanks.” Sirius said, as he bent to grab his things to go get ready along with the other racers. “Stay away from my parents, you’ll recognize them, they look like me.” 

“Hey.” Remus stopped him quickly. “I’ll see you soon. Maybe we’ll try ice skating after?” Remus proposed. 

Sirius looked at him, and gave a terse but genuine smile. “Okay.” He gripped at Remus’s shoulder briefly, at Remus, hand atop his, squeezed back. “See you on the other side then.” Remus nodded, and watched as Sirius gave a sigh, gathered his things, and went to catch up with the other ski racers. 

***

The mountain towered over Remus at heights that put Calset to shame. He had glanced at a trail map before he made his way to the race trail, and had been shocked to find that the trails he had been looking at were only a small fraction of those there on the map. A small, hidden part of him, wondered at what it would be like to ski here. It was a far cry from the mountain he had grown up skiing at. The view of the surrounding mountains from the base of them was incredible enough. Giants that dominated the landscape, and spoke of eons of history and stories. They seemed to sing. He could only dream of what they must look like from the peak of one of the stone heights. 

There was almost too much time between when Sirius left and when Remus finally followed the rest of the press and spectators out to the race trail. It had left him time to sit in his thoughts, which was not necessarily ideal before having to put himself in his least favorite position. He had done his best to distract his thoughts, and that primarily consisted of Sirius, his tattoos, and the hot tub. Then, he had to distract himself from his distraction with the event at hand again. 

While the wind was cold, the sun shone so bright that Remus felt perfectly balanced in temperature, especially as he thought about Sirius calling him glorious in the sun. An odd thought indeed. He was at the back of a crowd of others with cameras, pointed uphill, ready for the first skiers to descend. Remus kept to the back, not needing to be any closer to the gates than necessary. Not until he heard Sirius’s name at least. 

The first skiers came down the trail, the sound of their bodies hitting hard against the gates was loud enough to hear over the crowd. It was easy enough for Remus to pretend to play with the settings on his camera to avoid watching. With each skier that pulled to a stop at the end of the trail, even with the wall of bodies between him and them, he felt his knees weaken, and chest tighten. The sound of skis scraping against ever dug out trails gritted into his bones, and he felt the pounding of his brain as anxiety filled it up. With deep breaths though, he reminded himself of his promise to James, and to Sirius. He would not fail either of them. 

The voice over the loudspeaker announced another last name and time, and it was Remus’s cue to move forward. Sirius had given him a heads up of who his run would be following. “Excuse me.” Remus said as he gently pushed his way through the people, all bundled in coats and jackets. “Sorry, excuse me.” 

The trail was dizzying to look up at. The top of it winded out of sight, and the perspective was just off enough that the furthest visible flags seemed that they should be so much bigger than they appeared. Remus swallowed, his mouth dry. He raised his camera to his eye, the last barrier between him and the situation, like if he could take it all in through the lens, it would feel less real. 

“Next up, is of course Sirius Black.” Said a voice over speakers. Three loud beeps sounded, followed by one last higher pitch one, which meant that Sirius had taken off, and out of sight, was speeding down the trail. Remus waited, until a small black spot appeared at the highest visible headwall of the trail. Even though he was still likely too far away for it to truly matter, Remus snapped pictures. 

As Sirius grew closer, the crowd faded into silence of their passive chatter. They knew that there were only so many chances to watch a master of a craft, and they had decided to do so in silence. 

Just like the first time, before he had even known Sirius, Remus found himself transfixed by the way Sirius flew down the trail. It was like Sirius had learned to fly, the snow only clouds beneath him as he cut across the trail. Turns transitioned so smoothly, Remus hardly had time to process that one was occurring until Sirius was suddenly on the far side of the trail again, back and forth, until he was already there. 

He forced himself to click the shutter, to track Sirius’s trail down. His admiration of the display of skill in front of him superseded his fear for just that time. He couldn’t breathe, but for a different reason. Sirius looked incredible. And he looked fast. So fast. 

The slow approach of Sirius from a distance only lasted so long, before he was close enough for Remus to make out details without his camera, and then, in a blink, the run was over. Sirius skidded to a stop, on the opposite side of the gate from Remus. A billow of snow flew around him, then settled, as the announcer said something about Sirius’s time in a stunned voice. Remus didn’t hear it though, he was too distracted by Sirius quickly taking off his goggles, then helmet, black hair askew everywhere. 

Sirius’s time didn’t matter, because he quickly found Remus, stepped out of his skis, and made his way across the snow to where Remus stood. He wore a face that Remus had never seen after Sirius had finished a run, or come off the mountain. His cheeks were flushed, and eyes more alive than a race would normally leave him. For a second, Sirius diverted course, and the flutter of Remus’s heart staggered, until he realized Sirius had only moved to the small gap in the fence, to cross into the crowd. He made his way, in clunky boots to Remus. 

The crowd made room for Sirius, clearly nothing would stop him, and as he approached Remus was pleased to see a smile on his face. “How did I do?” Sirius asked as he came closer to Remus.

With Sirius in front of him, Remus slung his camera to his side. “You are incredible.” He told him, entirely truthfully. He could see the adrenaline that ran through Sirius’s blood. Its effects would only last so long. He opened his arms, just a bit, but Sirius, never slow, did not miss it, and stepped into an embrace. 

Remus realized very quickly how perfectly Sirius fit into his arms. Their height, just perfect enough for Remus to rest his chin on the top of Sirius’s head. Even with layers of coats between them, the last piece of a puzzle found. 

Sirius pulled his head back from Remus’s chest, just enough to be able to look up at him. “It felt a bit different.” Sirius said, voice low so others around wouldn’t hear. 

“What was different?” He asked, unable to look away from the way the cold had made Sirius’s nose and cheeks red, and the way his eyelashes blinked against them. 

“Knowing you were down here, waiting for me. Even though you hate it, you were being brave, and it made me feel brave enough to just do it. And you were here for me.” Sirius said. The adrenaline was leaving Sirius’s body, his heavy breathes from the run were leveling. He felt Sirius’s body relax and deflate in tiredness in his arms, and Remus never wanted to let him go. He held tighter onto the man in front of him, as he spoke about Remus making him feel brave, and he wanted to take him, and run away from everything together. Sirius’s lips were slightly chapped from the cold run, but as red as his cheeks, and Remus wanted to kiss him, feel the life in his eyes, and the meaning of his words.

 A shrill voice cut through the crowd into Remus’s ears. “Sirius!” 

With an instinct he didn’t know he had, Remus pulled Sirius a bit closer into his arms, in an attempt to protect him from whatever storm was coming. It was too late though, all of the bright joy that had been so brief, but enchanting, in Sirius’s eyes quickly winked out at the voice. 

Sirius let himself be held closer for just a moment, then with a gloved hand on Remus’s chest, pulled away. Through the crowd of people pushed a tall, thin woman, with greyed hair that had clearly once been dark pulled in a tight bun, and eyes that reeked of disappointment. 

“Shit.” Sirius mumbled under his breath as he moved to stand beside Remus. All Remus could think to do was stand next to him, and just be ready to step in. Behind them, more racers had already begun to fly down the track. He didn't focus on them. 

Sirius’s mom, because she had to be, in a sharp kind of beauty that was striking on Sirius and terrifying on her, stood before them. She cleared her throat, and glanced around her, poising herself in front of an audience. “Sirius.” She started again, with a sharp and hardly hidden look up and down at Remus. “Who is this?” 

Remus felt, more than saw, Sirius shuffle uncomfortably from one ski boot to the other. Remus thought of the times he had seen Sirius on the phone with his mother, or in the aftermath of a conversation, and how quickly it shut him down into silence. “I’m Remus Lupin. I work at Calset with Sirius.” Eagle eyes did not leave him, or more likely, the scars on his face. “Marketing. I’m here to continue work with Sirius on the brand of the mountain, and promoting his career.” It was the closest to what she would maybe want to hear that Remus could think of. 

She huffed, with another look at the people around them. “Sirius, what in the world are you doing. This is a far cry from the proper behavior we’d discussed.” She said tightly as she made the choice to completely ignore Remus. 

“This is Walburga.” Sirius said from next to Remus. “My management.” Exhaustion had very quickly entered his voice. 

“You know you are not expected to interact with spectators.” Walburga pressed on still, as if neither of them had spoken. “Especially…” She wrinkled her nose as she searched for words, then spoke in a hiss under her breath. “Engaging in inappropriate behavior.” 

Remus felt his head shoot back a bit in surprise. “A hug?” He asked, out of turn, but he found he did not care. “That hardly feels inappropriate.” 

Walburga looked at him like she couldn’t believe he would dare speak to her. Her gaze was harsher and colder than any wind the mountain could send his way, and it took everything within Remus not to shrink under it. “Of course Dumbledore would send someone with Sirius who doesn’t care about his reputation or career. Agreeing to let you go to that mountain was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.” The way she looked at Sirius as she said that told Remus that perhaps a lot of her mistakes were in regards to her son. “I expect you to be over with the other racers, official PR teams, and the other correct people. Do not let me see this happen again, Sirius. You are on thin, thin ice already after your last few stunts missing races. This is to get you back on track. Don’t forget that.” 

Walburga shot daggers at them, looked long and hard at each of them, then turned in her boots, and stormed off into the crowd, it was clear she expected Sirius to follow. 

Remus turned to look at Sirius, and the sight of it hurt his heart. His shoulders had slumped, and he bent to pick up his ski helmet that he had let fall to the ground when Remus had hugged him. “I’m sorry.” Sirius said quietly. “I should go.” 

With a quick look to make sure that Walburga was far enough away, Remus quickly grabbed Sirius’s free hand. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. Not your fault your mom is…” he paused, then decisively said “well, horrible I guess is a nice way of putting it. I can come with you?” 

Sirius tried a smile. “I’ve never taken much offense to the phrase ‘son of a bitch.’ But no, if you come she’ll just be worse.” Sirius looked down at where their hands met. “She’s never been one to be very progressive. About anything really.”  

Remus sighed, and let Sirius let their hands fall. “Really, you did great. Don’t listen to her. I’ll be here when you escape.”

Sirius sighed. “Thank you, Remus. Really.” 

Remus just nodded, and watched Sirius move his way through the people, back to his skis, and a community that Remus knew he didn’t want to go to. 

***

Remus hadn’t bothered to stick around the race trail much longer after Sirius was pulled away by his mother. He made his way back to the lodge, far from the snow and skiers, and found himself very grateful that he had brought a book. He pulled the shades open in his hotel room, which looked out over distant mountains, and dove into a world of fiction as far as his brain would allow. Enough of him was distracted enough by the fact that Sirius was likely somewhere nearby and miserable. 

The sun moved across the sky, and the bright midday turned into soft pinks of evening. Remus wandered through the lodge and had a meal for dinner. He spent some more time examining trail maps, and found himself amused by some of the names of trails. He pocketed a map to show Sirius when he saw him later. The sun lowered in the sky, and stars began to wink awake from above the quiet slopes. Remus had checked his phone several times, and not seen anything from Sirius. A shameful part of him worried that in having to interact with his mother, Sirius would resort to his ways of isolation. 

There was a fire place in his room, and even though he had rolled his eyes at it and its poshness when he had first seen it, lighting it and tending to it turned out to be a positive distraction for Remus, and allowed him to keep the window of the room cracked for a fresh breeze, and the room still toasty. Watching it from the arm chair he was sat in, with a book on his lap, had been enough to begin to make his eyes feel heavy, when a small knock sounded at the door between his room and Sirius’s.

Remus stood quickly, and strode across the room. He slowed himself before he answered. Sirius, of course, stood on the other side. He looked like he had freshly showered, hair still wet hung down onto his shoulders, damp on a grey pajama shirt. 

“Hi.” He said, as he looked up at Remus.

“Hey.” Remus said, quietly, still coming back from the brink of falling asleep. 

“Can I come sit for awhile?” Sirius asked. 

“Of course.” Remus said, and he stepped aside to let Sirius into the room. He stood half in the door frame in a bit of a panic, not sure where best to offer Sirius to sit. It was unnecessary though, as Sirius moved across the room, pulled himself onto the bed, and curled into a tight ball. He looked at Remus expectantly, tired. 

Sirius looked small, and worn down. Surrounded by the white blankets and sheets of a hotel bed, his complexion was only more pale, and his wet hair seemed dark as ever. Remus shut the door between the rooms, if only to give himself a break from looking at Sirius in his bed. He moved a bit further into the room. “Want to talk about it?” He asked, even though he felt he already knew the answer.

“Nah.” Sirius said. “Tell me about the rest of your day though?” 

“I didn’t do much really. Walked around a bit, but mostly I read.” Remus answered. “So basically, my dream kind of day. I did warn you I was boring, didn’t I?” Remus asked. 

His call back to a very long ago conversation earned him a small smile from Sirius, and he found he was pleased Sirius even remembered. Sirius hummed thoughtfully. “I think I prefer to think of you as comfy.” 

Remus snorted a bit of laughter. “Here I was worrying that you could see right through my anxiety.” Remus teased, thinking of how Sirius had apparently picked up his discomfort being near the ski mountains. “I’m doing better than I thought if you think I’m comfy all of the time.” 

Sirius shook his head. “Well okay, maybe not that.” He said, opening up a bit more in expression than moments ago when he had knocked on Remus’s door completely pulled into himself. “But you make me feel comfy.” 

Remus had been about to launch into some continuation of the joke, but Sirius’s words stilled him. Any words that had been on his lips died and were forgotten quickly, as what felt like an eternity that would never be long enough passed as they looked at each other. 

Oh. 

Remus cleared his throat, and the moment flowed into the next. He walked to where his suitcase was tossed on one of the dressers, the trail map laying on top. Remus grabbed it, and walked over to the bed, sat on the edge of it, next to Sirius, feet still on the floor. “I saw this earlier and wanted to show you.” Remus said, and held the trail map out to Sirius. 

Sirius took it from his hands, and to his credit, looked at it as if he hadn’t seen it before. He looked up at Remus, confused, but the light in his eyes was waking up again. “You planning what one you want to try? I’ve told you, I’ll help you down.” 

“No, no.” Remus said. He leaned over Sirius’s shoulder, and pointed to a spot in the top corner of the map. “Look.” Sirius did. Remus had pointed to two small little trails that cut down from the top of one of the resort's many peaks. They were black diamonds, a difficult trail level not meant for beginners. They had stood out to Remus because they had been next to each other, the higher one named Lupine, and the one just below, Shooting Star. Sirius was still looking at them, and Remus was beginning to feel a bit embarrassed. “It's us.” He said, quietly. “It just made me smile.” 

Sirius looked up from the map in his hands at Remus. The soft light of the room from the fireplace that was beginning to die from neglect brought a warmth to his face. The dance of flames flickered across the room, a gentle crackle of wood. And Sirius was looking at Remus in a way that was both at once how Sirius always looked at him, but how no one else had ever seen him before. 

“Remus?” Sirius said, low, eyes not breaking from Remus’s. 

“Hmm?” Remus responded, unwilling and unable to break the stare. 

Sirius lowered the map to the bed. “I came over because I was so tired, and really just wanted to be able to be next to you after today.” 

Ah, Remus thought. Sirius had just been looking for a friend after a hard day. He started to sit back, to try and lower his eyes from Sirius’s face, his lips. Here comes the rejection, he thought. “Yeah, ‘course. Sorry.” 

Before he could move too far, Sirius’s hand reached out and grabbed Remus’s wrist. Soft, pale skin against his, and he feared Sirius would feel his pulse racing. “But I would really, very much, very deeply, like to kiss you.” 

Remus looked up from their hands, at Sirius, who was only inches from him. Tired, but true, and everything Remus could think that he wanted. And Sirius was telling him he wanted to kiss him. As if Remus hadn’t been thinking of just that for weeks, and if he was being honest with himself, probably longer than that. The fantasy of it almost managed to overtake the present moment, but he caught it quickly enough to recognize the nervousness on Sirius' face, his chin held up, just in case he needed to walk out of his situation with his dignity. Like he thought that Remus did not want that also. That would simply not do.

Remus reached across the small distance, taking Sirius’s head in his hands, he drew them together, and kissed Sirius. Sirius gave a small gasp of surprise, but with the contact, Sirius’s eyes fluttered shut, and his entire body relaxed. Remus allowed himself the same. Kissing Sirius was like standing in a forge, hot and bright, with a moment where Remus’s body thought it just might not make it, crying out for relief of water or fresh air, and rewarded with it as Sirius came to life under the kiss. 

Remus ran one of his hands off of Sirius’s face, back to his neck, fingers weaving into still wet hair. He used that purchase to keep Sirius steady, as his kisses turned to hunger. Sirius raised out of the covers onto his knees on the bed, which made him for once taller than Remus. Sirius pulled back from the kiss, Remus’s hands still on him and in his hair. Remus tried to follow the kiss, but was stilled under the curtain of Sirius’s hair. It fell around them in a frame, the only thing in his vision Sirius. To think Remus had ever thought of this man as dangerous. If Sirius was dangerous, then Remus found for the first time in years and years, he craved danger. Their chests rose and fell, fast but in tandem. 

“Yes?” Sirius asked, a bit breathless, eyes a bit wild. 

Remus nodded quickly. “Yes. Oh my god, yes.” 

And with that, Sirius’s day was wiped from his face and replaced with a grin like Remus had never seen before. He didn’t get a chance to look at it long though, not before arms were wrapped around him, and somehow, in a smooth movement, Sirius was on his lap, and kissing him breathless. 

If Remus wanted to overthink the kiss, Sirius didn’t let him. His kisses ached with ferocity and desire, and Remus matched them. His dreams and waking moments had been haunted with thoughts of kissing Sirius Black, and not a single one of them could have prepared them for how much more he wanted. It was as easy and natural as breathing, like his body was built to hold Sirius’s weight, taste his lips, feel his tongue, and hear his heart. In his arms, Sirius pressed into him, so close that as they breathed their chests hit. 

Sirius’s hands were on his shoulders, but did not stay there long, wrapped up around his back, pulling for skin under his shirt. Remus gasped a little at the coldness of Sirius’s hands when they found the soft skin of his stomach. 

Sirius giggled into their kiss. “Sorry,” he mumbled, “poor circulation.” 

The sound of Sirius’s laugh in that moment felt just as important as the kiss, and Remus had to break the kiss, his smile too wide to continue. Sirius’s lips were red, eyes bright, and hair tussled as ever from Remus’s hands, still tied up in it. Remus felt a bit like a fool, he had the world's most handsome, beautiful man in his lap, and he was just grinning at him. 

Sirius’s smile spread a bit wider at Remus’s own joy. “What?” He asked with a laugh. 

Remus shook his head. “Nothing, just, I’m happy, I guess.”

Sirius’s hands, dangerously close to his pants line, stilled. “Me too.” Sirius said, dark eyelashes blinking slowly. One of Sirius’s hands came up to cradle Remus’s face, gentle as anything. “You make me happy.” For that second, their bodies, their position, the heat, none of it mattered. Those words, and the truth behind them were all that mattered. Sirius’s hand held Remus’s jaw, and a thumb brushed along his cheek. Remus leaned into the touch, and when Sirius’s thumb brushed his lips, he kissed it gently. There, Sirius’s hand lingered, over Remus knew where one of his scars were. 

“Sirius.” Remus said. 

“Hmm?” Sirius was inspecting his face like he was counting each of his freckles. 

“I’ve got a lot more.” 

Sirius broke his count and looked at Remus with a question in his gaze. 

“A lot more scars. Everywhere.” Remus said. There was hardly a spot his accident had left untouched. 

“Are they sensitive?” Sirius asked. 

“No.” Remus said with a pause. “I just wanted you to know. They’re not…pretty.” 

Sirius gave a little eye roll. “Agree to disagree then, Moony.” And his causality brought back Remus’s smile. “Now, I’ve been waiting so long. Can I get back to snogging you now?” 

Remus let out a sigh of relief he didn’t know had been held back, like it was crazy that it had ever been a question of what Sirius would think. “Please.” He answered. 

As quickly as the moment of sobriety had settled upon them, it was gone as soon as Sirius brought their lips back together, requesting even more from the kiss than before. And Remus gave it. Sirius’s hands, less cold now, snaked their way across Remus’s body again. One under his shirt and up his back, and Remus moved closer to him at the suggestion. The other played with the waist of his pants, dipping with light touches into the crevice of his hip bone, and driving Remus wild. In retaliation, he clawed his own way under Sirius’s shirt. Where his fingers went on Sirius’s back, goosebumps followed, and it was not long before Remus had accomplished getting Sirius shirtless. It was with a look that Sirius requested the same, and Remus allowed his own shirt to be pulled over his head. Sirius stared at him, but Remus could see no expression shift at his scars. Sirius still wanted him. He lowered his kisses from Sirius’s mouth, placing gentle kisses at the soft of Sirius’s neck, then collar bone. He kept the kisses light until he found a spot that had Sirius’s hands still for a moment, and gave a small gasp. There, Remus kissed again, and when he found the same response, began to suck. 

Sirius did not let it last for long though, as suddenly Remus felt the button of his pants loosen, and Sirius’s hands sneak in. He gasped against Sirius’s skin, forehead resting on Sirius’s shoulder. 

“Good?” Sirius asked.

Remus nodded against his shoulder. “Yeah.” He said, and willed himself to not sound too desperate. As Sirius’s hand wrapped around him, Remus had to allow himself a moment to take in the sensation. When his thoughts returned enough to do the same, he found that Sirius had no underwear on under his pajama pants. When his body reacted to the thought, he heard Sirius rumble a laugh, which Remus worked to cut off with his hands. It worked, and Sirius gasped. 

They spoke little, but gently, as they discovered what the other needed, and when in Remus’s hands Sirius came first, it was with a soft, gasped “Remus.” and he followed quickly after. 

They sat, wrapped around each other, with gentle kisses pressed to bare skin as they came down from the high. Sirius smiled dopily at Remus, as he said “I’m glad you’re here.” 

Remus kissed him in an attempt to break up the silly grin. “Me too.” He said, a bit of a tease.

Sirius sat back, not at a danger of falling back with Remus’s arms wrapped protectively around him. “Not just this. All of it. Thank you for being here for me.” 

Remus’s heart swelled again, as he thought that probably he would brave the side of any ski mountain if it mattered that much to Sirius. “Of course.” He whispered. The fire had died down dramatically, which left the room cold, but Remus felt perfectly warm exactly where he was. There was a breeze from the open window though, and he knew they wouldn’t be able to stay shirtless forever with it open. “Come on, let's clean up.” He didn’t want to remind Sirius of another early morning for the races the next day, but knew that Sirius already knew. 

Sirius nodded in agreement, but before he let go of his hold on Remus asked “Can I…Do you mind if I stay here tonight?” 

Unable to help himself, now that he knew he could, and was allowed, he kissed Sirius’s forehead, a silent ripermand that Sirius had even had to ask the question. “Please.” Was his response, since he could think of little better than to fall asleep next to Sirius. Sirius’s face was bright enough that Remus had to assume he felt likewise. It all felt glorious.  

Chapter Text

A normal morning for Remus Lupin generally involved a lot of extra alarms, bargaining with the clock for more time asleep, and frustrated groans when it was really, finally time to get up. That morning though, when the first alarm went off, and Remus reached as gently as he could over Sirius to turn it off, there was none of the traditional morning anger. Even though he knew they both needed to get up, and it would be another stressful day for them both, Remus could feel nothing but a coat of happiness bundled around his heart. 

He had expected to have had more nerves to be in bed next to Sirius, the man whose looks had grasped him since day one, and who’s everything else had so easily snuck its way into Remus’s heart after. But when they had both cleaned up, Remus had pulled on pajamas, and gingerly pulled back the covers for him to lay down, Sirius had molded right into his side, head in the crook of Remus’s shoulder, and an arm laid across Remus’s chest. The way Sirius’s face nuzzled into him made Remus laugh, but he pulled Sirius in closer, and ran a lazy hand through long black hair as he gently worked through knots. All his anxious thoughts disappeared as Sirius hummed happily. 

“If I’m too clingy just push me off.” Sirius had said, even as his eyes began to droop. 

Remus relished in their closeness. It felt a marvel, really, how easy it felt. “I don’t think I’m going to do that.” Remus said, hazy in his joy and comfort. They really hadn’t been awake for that long after. 

Now, in the morning, none of those feelings had dissipated. They had shifted sometime in the night, Sirius up on his side and Remus had wrapped around him, arm holding Sirius close to his chest. Sirius’s breath was still slow with sleep, and Remus’s arm rose and fell with him. One of his legs was tucked between Sirius’s, and loose strands of black hair tickled his nose. There was nothing earth shattering or universe altering about the moment as Remus woke into the silence of the morning, but he breathed it in, and willed himself to remember the feeling of it forever. 

It was a very good thing they had remembered to set an alarm on Remus’s phone before he had crawled into bed, or he would have stayed exactly in this spot until the sun was at least halfway through the sky. Once the alarm was off he had to shift slightly to allow blood flow back into his left arm. His movement stirred Sirius, and his breath shifted as he began to wake up. 

“Hmmm. Do I have to?” Sirius whined as he flipped back over, to press his face into Remus’s chest. 

“Good morning to you too.” Remus said, his smile suddenly shy as he realized just how sappy his thoughts had gotten, and suddenly unsure that Sirius would feel the same. It was hard not to feel so enamored though, as Sirius’s face craned into the soft spot of Remus’s neck, his delicate nose cold on Remus’s skin. 

“Horrible morning.” Sirius argued, and Remus’s stomach swooped in fear and humiliation for just a second, before Sirius’s breath, hot against his neck, said “Only good if I could stay right here with you.” 

As silvery kisses began to pepper his neck, Remus laughed, but began to sit up, which pulled Sirius with him. “I refuse to be responsible for you missing another race.” It seemed like a lifetime ago that Sirius had arrived at his front door, covered head to toe in snow gear to get him out of his snowed-in situation. 

“Hm, but a much better reason this time.” Sirius reasoned, moving his kisses to Remus’s jawline. One kiss felt more deliberate than the others, and Remus knew it was one of his scars receiving the attention. “Far hotter.” 

Remus titled his head to one side, into Sirius. “Well yeah.” Remus said, working hard to not let Sirius’s distractions win over to keep them in bed all day. “It was a blizzard last time. But sorry, yeah, I know I sleep warm. Normally I keep a fan going.” The heat moved away from his face as Sirius pulled back, and Remus got his first real look at his face of the morning. If Sirius thought that the moon treated Remus well, then the same was true of him and morning light. His face glowed with the softness of the morning, and created the gentlest version of Sirius he had ever seen. His eyes were bright despite the early hour, and twinkled as they searched Remus’s face, then crinkled closed as Sirius laughed, loud. “What?” Remus asked, incredulous. 

Sirius laughed harder. “You.” He said through a wheeze. “This.” He said, as he gestured to Remus, in pajamas, hair a mess. “ You’re hot , Remus.” Sirius explained through a laugh.

“Oh!” Remus said, and buried face into his now free hands. 

“Waking up in your arms? After last night? You kissing me? Finally?!” Sirius listed off. “Way hotter than walking through feet of snow to hope you’d hear out an apology.” 

“Okay, okay, I understand.” Remus said through his own laughter now. “I get it. Yes, agreed. Way hotter.” 

“Good.” Sirius said, pulling his arms back in a stretch that drew Remus’s attention to his body. “Can I miss the race now?” He lowered his hands to the bed, and leaned forward towards Remus, eyes on his lips. 

For just a moment, Remus played along, and met Sirius in a sweet, slow kiss. He ran his tongue over Sirius’s teeth, and Sirius groaned into it. Just before the kiss could shift and render them both incapable of stopping, Remus pulled away. Sirius looked, eyes wide.“No.” Remus objected, the mood still so much lighter than any other morning he could think of. 

Sirius playfully smacked Remus’s chest, as he moved off the bed. “You bastard.” Sirius told him.

Remus looked at him, still sat up in the bed, dark and light and sorrow and joy amongst a sea of crinkled sheets and pillows. “Trust me.” Remus said as he moved to the bathroom door, fighting to tear his eyes away from the man. “I don’t like it either.” 

***

After they had readied for the morning, and had breakfast at the same hidden table as the day before, Sirius had to leave again. Before he did though, Remus led Sirius to a tucked away corner, only inhabited by an ice machine. There he had kissed Sirius a bit senseless. 

“For good luck.” He told Sirius when he pulled away. 

There were stars in Sirius’s eyes, that made Remus’s heart sing, and he knew he looked the same. “I’ve never felt more lucky.” Sirius said with a coy grin. Remus’s knees were a bit weak.

“Go on.” Remus said, shooing Sirius off to go join the other ski racers, because if they didn’t part soon, Remus feared the temptation of just saying ‘fuck it’ to the race and entire ski industry would win out. “Go win, and then we’ll go ice skating. Amongst other things.” Remus said, as Sirius walked away. 

The way Sirius smiled at him, like Remus had just promised him the moon pulled from the sky and packaged in a bow, ran through Remus’s veins, and he bottled the bravery and drank it whole. 

***

The wind was nowhere near as strong as the day previous, but the sky had shifted since the early morning, and become covered in gray clouds. It created a strange combination of temperatures that were manageable, but a day that looked moody. The darkness of it couldn’t touch Remus though. In the time he had to kill before the race, he found his leg bouncing up and down, thinking about each moment of the night before with Sirius, doing his best to convince himself it wasn’t a dream. He ran a hand along his jaw. It had been very, deeply real. The way his chest was expanding with the brightness of it all was hard to manage alone. He pulled out his phone, and sent a message.

Remus

Cannot wait to tell you about this trip

Lily

Hmm

Is that so?

Shocking. Really

Remus 

Is that sarcasm I sense?

Lily

I’m with James right now

He has been bouncing up and down and keeps slapping his hand over his mouth trying not to say something to me because it's “not his to share.”

So now, based on your text, I can only assume that Sirius texted him this morning 

Remus

Okay, Sherlock. Seems I don’t need to tell you

Lily

NO

Remus

:) 

Lily

Omg a smiley face this confirms everything

Have fun, use protection. I think James is already planning a months worth of double dates for when you guys are home

Remus

You’re the worst

Lily

Love you!

Remus shook his head with a fond smile as he put his phone back in his pocket, then checked the battery on his camera. He thought of Lily calling Calset ‘home’ and how quickly his mind had just agreed with that. It had become just that, and the thought was just as wonderful as anything. He thought about home as he, among many others, moved out to the trail set up for the race, snow crunching under boots and light chatter creating the path.

High on it all, Remus did not wait at the back of the crowd. Sirius would not be coming down the track until much later, but with bravery and thrill running through his veins, Remus decided his fear could take a backseat for one day. As racers descended down the track, high speeds and snow flying, Remus clapped politely for them, but mostly had his head in the clouds. He was picturing how long it would take to sweep Sirius away from these crowds, sure his mother was in it somewhere, to hide him away from it all. Another racer zipped down with an impressive time. He imagined how he would have to impatiently strip ski boots off of Sirius, unzip coats and remove gloves, in order to lessen the distance between their skin. The scratch of skis as they worked through soft snow to compact the track. He thought of Sirius’s shaped lips against his, and against him. The thud of skiers hitting the fence posts with practiced ease. He planned after, a shower, then a walk back to that coffee shop with the delicious hot chocolate. More polite claps as another impressive speed was hit. He visualized stepping with shaky legs onto the ice skating rink, Sirius holding him close and safe, because Sirius made him believe that he could. 

A small, light snowflake drifted in front of Remus’s eyes, and brought his attention back to his body as it landed on his nose. It melted into his skin, and Remus went to look up, to see if there would be many other snowflakes to follow. He didn’t get a chance to make note of it.

A skier was on the trail, just about to the bottom, and as soon as Remus’s mind took him in, he could spot instantly that he was out of control. That was about the only thought he had time for though. As he thought it, the skier was rounding the last gate, too fast, under pressure to win. His uphill ski caught an edge. Remus heard the people around him gasp, one breath drawn in by many chests at the same time. 

This time, instead of a surprise force from the back, Remus had a front row view of the skier coming at him, out of control, too fast, and about to alter his life. 

The natural instincts of a body though are a funny thing. Remus felt his peripheral vision shrink, the only thing that mattered was the impact that was about to happen. The people in the light crowd around him must have felt it too, as together, they scrambled back. Remus moved so quickly backwards, eyes still on the skier, refusing to let him out of his sight, that he tripped on someone behind him. It sent him sprawling back into a stranger. The stranger shrieked, and Remus didn’t know if it was in response to his body colliding with hers, or the fact that the skier had just crashed through the fence. The fence, only made of a light, orange plastic, tangled around the skier, and stopped him. The skier moved, certainly injured, but all Remus could see, with his horrors, his fears, his trauma, was that the skier had stopped exactly where he had just been standing. 

The person behind him moved away from him. It left Remus half on his back, in the snow, and utterly still in his shock. Around him bodies sprang into action. The skier needed to be checked on by the medical team. Spectators in the area needed their well-being insured. Voices, loud and wordless sprang up. 

Remus heaved a breath, and another. They came shallow, but fine enough for that just a second, Remus was convinced that he was going to be fine. It was a close call, but it hadn’t actually hit him again. His body was fine. It was not the same as the last time. For one shimmering moment, the years of time since his accident held fast as a bandaid, but then with Remus’s third breath, it peeled away. 

His breath transitioned from ragged to too fast, and panic surged through his brain. He could feel the tears that would certainly begin to well in his eyes, and the body shaking began to start, that he knew would only escalate to heaving. Remus was not just responding to the past minute of his life. His body was recalling it all. The accident, the wonderful day turned disaster, as he stood on the side of a trail, watching his mom ski below him, then black, then woods, and pain, ambulances, hospitals, and what only ever felt like endless pain. 

Some stranger, a tall, burly man that Remus hardly computed loomed into his space and offered out a hand to pull him up. Even though his fingers tingled with numbness to match the attack in his brain, Remus allowed himself to be pulled up. There was a ringing noise, and Remus wasn’t sure if it was his ears, or distant sirens. 

“Are you alright?” The stranger asked, fuzzy eyebrows furrowed in concern. 

Words were impossible with as tight as Remus’s throat felt. He willed the tears he could not control to give him another minute so he could escape the friendly stranger. Alarm bells in his brain screamed at him that he just needed to leave, and get as far as possible away from the ski trail as he could. Thoughtlessly, he pushed through the people as his lip trembled. Waves of fear still pulsated through him, no matter how far he could walk.

When he was back in his hotel room, sat on the floor with a pillow hugged tightly to his chest, Remus hardly remembered getting himself there. The room was so quiet, and even as the small part of his logic tried, he could not convince himself he was safe. Alone, a pathetic cry escaped his lips, and he hated it. The hatred of his response only fueled it further though, and Remus shook, and cried, and could not take himself out of reliving his accident, again, and again, and again, the ghost of his pain and scars whispering back to life in the memories as they looped. 

Distantly, he thought he heard his phone buzz, but his brain had arrested control of his body, and vice versa. He had been here before, he had suffered the long term effects of a traumatic accident, but it had been a long time, and never before had the trigger been so real and so close. In his brain he knew the floor was not the best place to be, but he could not bring himself to control his shaking long enough to move. The pillow at his chest prevented him from caving too deeply into himself. He faced the wall, eyes open but unseeing as trees, snow, blood, and skis filled his vision. 

***

Remus had no sense of how much time had passed, it could have been hours or it could only have been minutes. All he knew was he was still lost in his mind, but his body was growing too tired from the attack to react much longer. Through the memories, he was distantly aware of the sound of a door opening, and movement happening around him. 

A voice then sounded, a bit frantic, but trying to appear calm, close to his ears. “Remus.” It was Sirius. He had found his way to Remus. Sirius had been up on the trail, and even though he knew it wasn’t him, the thought of it being Sirius losing control on skis, flying without hope into a crowd, sent Remus’s mind into another spiral. He choked slightly on spit, as his accident shifted in his mind, new images being conjured. 

Sirius spoke again, a bit desperate. “Remus, please.” Remus hated with every fiber of his being that he was acting like this, and Sirius was there to see it. “Can I touch you?” Sirius asked, his voice shaken. 

Such a direct question managed to pierce through, and Remus nodded. He had hardly finished his nod when he felt a hand on his knee, which was drawn up to his chest, and another on his shoulder. He leaned instinctively into the touch, the warmth and presence of Sirius an anchor. The room in front of him began to clear, trees and snow disappeared, and the coat of blackness with it. His eyesight was blurry with tears, but he could at least make out the shape of the room he was in. Sirius’s hand on his shoulder rubbed in a gentle circle. 

Even after only such a short respite of clarity, the memories attempted to resurface, and he could not prevent the cry that came with it. He felt Sirius shift beside him, open his chest to him, and without thought, Remus crawled into it. Sirius was warm, his winter coat had been removed somewhere, but still in those hefty ski boots. He could smell the scent of cold outdoors on him, but beneath it, was just Sirius. Remus let himself be wrapped up in him, and, without words, Sirius guided Remus’s breath with his own to reach a steady rhythm. With Sirius, Remus was finally able to take a breath that reached into his lungs comfortably, and when he exhaled, it was into Sirius. 

In time, Remus felt Sirius’s fingers running through his curls, and he wondered how long it would be acceptable to just let himself be held like that. Wordless, without explanation or reason, Sirius had shown up, and eased him out of the pain. He pulled his head back just enough to look up at Sirius's face. He looked down at him, gentle as Remus had ever seen him. 

“Hi.” Remus croaked, throat horrendously dry. 

“Hi.” Sirius repeated, sweet and soft. 

“I’m so-”

Sirius cut him off. “There is no reason for apologies. But, if you need it, they’re accepted and you’re forgiven.” 

Remus gave him a weak smile, and ran his sleeve across his nose. “The skier?” He asked. He thought he could remember thinking that whoever the skier was was alright, but it had become so blurred and meshed with his own memories. 

“He’ll be bruised up a bit, but otherwise, completely okay. Nothing was even broken, and he didn’t touch anyone else. Everything was able to continue.” 

Remus nodded, and repeated the information to himself internally. Everyone was fine. He was fine. When he went to sit up a bit, Sirius’s arms remained strong around him. Remus knew his face was red and blotchy, but Sirius only looked at him with the most care. As he looked into Sirius’s eyes, a grey that had become so familiar and beloved, he realized, and panic swelled again. 

This time, Sirius wasn’t fast enough to cut off the words as they poured out of Remus. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t on the trail for you. That was the whole reason I came out here, and I failed, I wasn’t there. I’m so, so sorry, I know how important it is.” 

Sirius moved as quick as he could to cease Remus’s babbling, which apparently had to be two hands cupping his cheeks, and a thumb pressed gently to the corner of his mouth. Remus couldn’t believe that even as dehydrated as he was, he still had tears in him to shed over how he must have disappointed Sirius. “Moony, stop, please.” Sirius asked. “It's okay. Please, this, and you are so much more important than any of it.” 

Remus allowed his face to be held, even as silent tears ran down into Sirius’s hand. He hated crying, and hated crying in front of people more, but his body was presenting him with no other choice. Here was the most beautiful man he had ever seen, who had caught his attention within seconds of seeing him, and then stole Remus’s heart, on the floor with him, telling him that Remus was more important than his entire career, everything he had ever worked for. It felt big, impossible, and too much. And, Sirius had no reason to understand any of it. He had never told him why he avoided his office with the window overlooking the trails of Calest, why he was so tense when he had to go photograph skiers even from a distance, or why he refused lessons. He never had told Sirius that skiing had almost taken his life from him. But there he was, comforting him anyway. 

As tired as he was, as scared as he had been, Remus felt utterly overwhelmed with love for the man in front of him, and could not stop the words that needed to be freed from his chest. 

“Sirius, I–” 

“It's okay.” Sirius said, one hand falling from Remus’s face to grasp his hand. “I know.” 

Remus, never quite able to hide his thoughts, scrunched his face in confusion. “You know?” 

Sirius looked bashful. “Yeah, and I’m real sorry I haven’t said anything, but I wanted you to feel comfortable to tell me, but right now it feels important for you to know I know, and you don’t have to explain anything.”

It would be a true statement to say that since Sirius had entered Remus’s life, he had brought a lot of confusion with him. But, Remus had never felt quite so confused as Sirius silenced his confession, and was turning it into something that wasn’t quite exactly, but too close to rejection. “When?” He asked around a shocked cough. 

Sirius gave a small shrug. “Your first day.” 

That was it, if Remus felt confused before, now he just plainly didn’t understand. “What?” He sputtered. Sure, he had thought Sirius was hot from day one, but his feelings had developed and changed in major, earth-shaking ways since then.

Sirius looked upset that he had upset Remus. He loosened his grounding, anchoring grip as an apologetic look filled his face. “I’m sorry, I was just trying to get a read on what I’d be dealing with for marketing after the last guy. I know I really shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” Sirius said quickly, wounds entering his eyes. “But an old article about your accident was one of the first things that popped up, and I didn’t even think before I clicked it.” Oh. “But then I met you and you clearly did not want to mention it, so it was easy to just not bring it up, but I probably should have. I’m really sorry, Remus.” Sirius took a shaky breath as he searched Remus’s scarred face. 

Sirius had always known about his accident. Of course he had always known. Remus was still reeling from a bit of shock of just the very different conversation he had been about to have, but could not find an angry bone in his body that Sirius had known. Remus had googled Sirius, so he couldn’t be mad about that, and it made complete sense for him to have been concerned about another marketing guy forcing Sirius to play pretend for a camera. He had wanted the conversation to be on Remus’s terms, until that choice was taken from either of them. Remus got so caught up in his gratitude for the man still wrapped around him, that he did not process quickly enough how fast Sirius was shrinking, like he expected outrage and he was willing to take it. 

Remus’s brain, too drained to come up with the words to fix the situation, gently placed a hand at the base of Sirius’s neck, and pulled him in, Sirius following with an exhalation of breath, into a kiss. It was chapped, and short, but Remus did his best to put into it that everything was okay, and they were okay. 

Sirius seemed to read this in between the lines of their kiss, and as they pulled away, their bodies relaxed around each other. Their breaths had evened, lines in their foreheads softened, and heart rates slowed. All Remus wanted to do was bury his head into the soft space under Sirius’s ear and fall asleep, but he had to know. “So, did you win the race?” 

Sirius chucked, a bit nervously. “Uhhh..” He said.

Remus pulled back to look Sirius in the eye again. “You didn’t.” He accused.

Sirius blushed. “You’re really never allowed to apologize for this. It had to happen someday, you just gave me the strength to be able to do it.” 

Remus raised an eyebrow at him, not in judgement, but trying to parse together what he was being told. “Padfoot.” 

“I hated it, Moony. You saw it, both of us start to die out on the snow. And you asked me, why don’t I just stop. I thought it was all I would ever be, I told you that, remember?” 

Remus nodded, because he did. And he remembered how it had broken his heart to hear. “Yeah.” He said quietly. 

“But when I heard there was a fall, and someone had almost gone into the crowd, I knew that it was going to impact you, and I had to get to you.” Sirius took a breath, and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, shiny, but bright, Remus nodded for him to go on. “So I went to leave the start of the trail, my mother, uh, she was up there this time. She told me if I skipped out on this race then she would drop me, and ensure I was never invited to another event ever again.” Even as Sirius delivered what should have been devastating news, his shoulders lightened like a horrible weight had been removed from them. “So I told her ‘good’ and just left.” Between them, their hands intertwined, Sirius fingers ran along Remus’s, and Sirius looked down at them. “You said you didn’t mind looking for parts of me that exist without skiing.” A breath in, and breath out. “And you did, and I’m discovering you are probably right. And you make me feel brave, so I was brave.” 

Remus blinked at Sirius’s words, let them sink in. “You make me feel brave.” He told Sirius, and he meant it completely. He laughed a bit though, dry and only with as much humor as he could muster still so close to it all. “Although, today doesn’t really feel like a good example of that.” He said, with a small gesture to his still red face, and dried tears on both their shirts. 

Sirius shook his head at him. “I think you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.” 

Remus couldn’t help but blush under his gaze. He stretched out his legs for the first time since he had sat down. They were sore from being held with so much tension, and he knew the rest of his muscles would feel the same.  “I know I promised ice skating today.” Remus said. “Amongst other things. But is it alright if I just lay next to you for a while?” 

Sirius placed a small kiss on Remus’s cheek, a quantree that those broken promises would never matter. “You can lay next to me forever, if you’d like.” Sirius said as he pulled back, cheeks red. 

Remus smiled at him, and thought that that sounded entirely agreeable. 

Chapter Text

Late March at Calset felt like a different world than it had been the rest of the winter. The days were longer as the sun stuck around later and later into the day. Temperatures would hit numbers that allowed visitors to ski only in sweaters instead of heavy jackets, as snow turned into soft sugar beneath them. The crowds lightened as tourists decided it was time to go play golf, or start yard work, instead of prolonging their ski season. There were a few bigger events still planned, outdoor concerts and the like, but otherwise the air of the employees of Calset had shifted. It was their time for fun. 

Remus and Lily had taken to spending as much of their work days as possible on adirondack chairs on the porch of Calset’s ski lodge. With laptops and sunglasses, they soaked in the sunshine, both excited to see the development of the other’s freckles. One late morning they were doing just that, the positive energy from the warmth spread its way into their work, and laughing at James at the bunny slope in the distance as he finished his last children’s lesson of the day. James was working with a very young boy, who at almost every opportunity would throw himself into the snow in a fit of giggles. As much as James was trying to keep his composure, he would laugh along with the boy, harder each time he did it. It was creating quite a show for Remus and Lily. James must have known he was putting on a performance, and eventually took it among himself to follow the little boy’s example, and flung himself into the snow.

“God, he’s embarrassing, isn’t he?” Lily asked around a laugh. 

Remus looked over at her sideways. “He’s your boyfriend, Lils, not mine. Sounds like a you problem.” Lily made a face like she was considering the issue at hand, but found it alright in her book.

*

Lily and James had been there to pick up Remus and Sirius at the airport on their return flight from Colorado. Both Remus and Sirius were exhausted, physically and mentally. Between a long day of travel, Remus’s episode, and Sirius finally sticking up to his parents, they had been wiped by the time they had boarded their first flight back to Maine. Tucked into the tight airplane seats, Sirius had once again fallen asleep on Remus. This time however, Remus was not afraid of him pulling away, and without really meaning to, had also slipped into sleep. When Remus held Sirius’s hand again through the landing, it was now with the understanding that they would also be hand in hand as they grabbed their bags from the luggage belt. 

With sore bones and black circles under their eyes, they had walked out of the airport where Lily and James, hand in hand, were waiting for them. Both of their faces collapsed at once as they took in the sight of Remus and Sirius and their exhaustion, likely thinking that a brief moment of intimacy had turned horribly wrong and they were back to ignoring each other. Wordlessly, James had piled backs into the back of the truck, while Lily helped as they exchanged nervous glances. Sirius and Remus climbed into the back of the truck.

Sleepily, Sirius leaned into Remus. “Should we go along with it? Trick them into thinking we hate each other now?” Even tired, Sirius had a streak for the mischievous.

Remus stifled a laugh. “No! That's horrible!” From outside the car, he heard James and Lily’s nervous whispers. 

“Aw come on.” Sirius said in a small whine. “Don’t you just love a good hidden romance? It’ll be funnyyyy.” 

Remus was tired, and ready for a shower and his own bed, preferably with the man in front of him. He gave Sirius a pointed look. “Trying to trick them into thinking we hate each other would mean me keeping my hands off of you.” Remus said, and he went to sit back. Sirius’s face dropped quickly, and Remus knew that as he deliberately stretched, there were grey eyes all over his body. “So, if that's what you want, by all means.” 

“Fuck that.” Sirius leaned across the small space in the back of the cab like a starved man put in front of a platter, and kissed Remus. 

Distantly, the sound of the passenger door broke into their kiss, followed by Lily saying “So. Good vacation huh?” 

Remus, bright red as a tomato and a bit breathless from the way Sirius had just kissed him sat back. Sirius was still half on top of him and he smirked as James opened the driver side door. “The best.” Sirius answered.

At the same time, James, eyes wide behind his glasses, but relieved as anything, said “Thank Christ.” 

On the ride back to Calset, Remus and Sirius filled James and Lily in on most of the details of the trip. Sirius started, and proudly announced he was free from racing forever. James had been so shocked he almost swerved the truck off the road, but when Sirius’s glee at the change reached James’s understanding, his eyes watered in pride. 

“It's been a long time coming mate…” James said, as he slipped a finger under his glasses to dry his eyes. “If you never have to see them again, good.” Even though James had a far better understanding of Sirius’s parents, and he was only just learning, Remus couldn’t help but agree. “But what prompted it?”

“Uhh…” Sirius started, and looked over at Remus, unwilling to give up that part of the story if Remus didn't want to. “Just finally hit me.” Sirius said, and Remus thought it sounded convincing. 

Remus sat up in his seat and cleared his throat a bit. “His mom didn’t want him to go help me.” Sirius gave Remus a look of surprise, but didn’t stop him as he laid a hand on Remus’s knee. 

Lily had turned backwards to look into the back at them. “Help you? Are you okay?” She looked Remus up and down for some injury she must have missed. 

Remus swallowed once, but thought of Sirius, brave and free, beside him. “I had a PTSD episode.” 

James’s brown eyes in the rearview mirror were nothing but open to hear him, and Lily, nothing but kind. They drove in silence as they allowed Remus to explain. There were a few details that also would have been new to Sirius, things that were not included in the old newspaper article he would have read. As he described how the man who had crashed into him walked away practically unscathed, and the months of surgeries and treatments and years of healing he had gone through, Sirius’s hand found its way into his own. 

When he finished, he had expected questions, there always were. James drove for a moment in silence as the radio quietly hummed along. “Well.” James started, with a breath. “You are a complete, and utter badass, Lupin.” 

*

“Yes, he is my problem.” Lily said, as she lowered her sunglasses a bit to watch James roll around in the snow in the distance. They turned back to their work for a bit. Fingers typed lazily at keyboards, and emails were groaned at. The perfect kind of work day struggles better shared with a friend. 

As the sun reached its peak in the sky, James was freed from his lesson. It did not take long for him to prop his skis up on a stand, and be over to Lily and Remus. He leaned down to give Lily a kiss on the cheek. Remus thought that if the sun in the sky could belong to anyone, it was the two people in front of him. Ever since new years, they had been navigating their new relationship, and the blazing brightness of both of them as individuals only created more light as a couple. Separately, Lily’s fierceness and kindness, and James’s loyalty and protectiveness created two pieces that together made so much sense within the world. 

“Best birthday present.” James said as he pulled away from the kiss.

“Hm, okay. Guess I’ll return your present then.” Lily joked.

“No!” James said, but he looked like truly a kiss from Lily was the best thing he could have ever been given. 

“Lily said you were embarrassing.” Remus informed James as he sat at the edge of Lily’s seat. 

“Hey!” Lily said, not truly upset. 

James smiled. “If that was too much, just you wait till later then.” 

Lily slapped a hand to her head. “You’re not really going to wear them, are you?” 

“Of course!” James said. “It’s bad luck without them.” 

“I think at this point they might be an ancient artifact.” Remus inserted. “Is Sirius bringing it all?” 

James nodded. “Yeah. He should be over anytime now.” 

Remus smiled at the warmth in his chest at the idea of seeing Sirius. It was a warmth that had been present for a long time, but had only increased in the weeks since Colorado. He let his eyes close behind his sunglasses as the cruel hand of winter was loose around the mountain, and took in the sounds of Lily and James chattering beside him. Eventually Mary joined too, already dressed in a great big pink tutu. It looked ridiculous on top of her snow pants, but she gave a twirl to show it off, and Lily clapped for her. In time, Marlene and Dorcacs appeared, having finished some fun runs that left them panting, but thrilled. Peter also joined, large sunglasses on his head, and with a picnic blanket he spread out on the wooden porch. 

It was Remus’s family that surrounded him. Each day that passed he found himself giving more of himself to them all, and receiving the same in return. Trust between everyone in the group ran deeper than he ever thought was possible, and any day, evening, or night, with any of them was time Remus treasured. Only one of them was missing now, and an impatient part of him sat up in his chair to look towards the lodge behind them. His eagerness was caught though. 

“He’ll be here. Patience, Loverboy.” Mary said. 

Remus sat back in his chair with a huff, and closed his laptop screen. Work had long been done for the day. On a distant side of the ski mountain, loud speakers started up and he distantly heard Joan Jett and the Blackhearts over the speakers. There he was. 

Everyone else noticed too. “He cannot be subtle ever, can he?” Marlene teased as the song began to float across to everyone. It was I Wanna Be Your Dog.

Remus rolled his eyes, but blushed. “It's a good song.” He protested in Sirius’s defense. 

Under the loudspeakers he thought he recognized a familiar voice singing along. One that he had only discovered more recently could make him go absolutely weak in the knees. 

“Speaking of embarrassing boyfriends.” Lily said with a pointed look at Remus, who could only beam as Sirius rounded a corner, his song following him. He did look a bit ridiculous, with his black hair pulled into pigtails, and a dog nose drawn on his own nose. 

“Padfoot!” James said full of glee. Sirius tossed James a small plastic bag. 

“Go put that on so I’m not doing this alone.” Sirius told him, and James ran off to do just that, after grabbing a fist bump from Sirius. 

“Hey, I’m dressed up!” Mary added. 

“Yes, and you look stunning.” Sirius said as he stepped carefully through their friends. “Here Petey, here’s yours.” Peter grabbed the fake set of whiskers and ears Sirius tossed him. He would be participating too, and was thrilled. It was a far cry from the Peter Remus had met at the start of the season. 

Sirius reached Remus in his chair. Remus set his laptop off to the side, and like he belonged there, Sirius laid himself across Remus’s lap in the chair. “Hiya, Moony.” Sirius said, comfortable in his spot.

“Hiya, Boyfriend.” Remus said with a smile, and while the title was relatively new, he hoped he never grew tired of using it for Sirius.

*

Remus’s birthday had been a few weeks earlier, Mid-March. The information had been practically interrogated out of him, and he tried to stress that he had never cared too much about celebrating his birthday before. He thought that was enough, and was more than happy to agree to a night at Sirius and James’s condo with all their friends and some good drinks the night of his birthday. Sirius had worn that blasted leather jacket again. Absolutely stunning, but all Remus could think about the pale skin and tattoos that hid beneath it, the same designs he was becoming much more acquainted with. 

Sirius had requested that Remus bring his record player over to the condo, so he had, along with more than enough records for everyone to pick a favorite. He and his friends were tipsy, dancing, playing card games, and simply living the life Remus had never been brave enough to dream for himself. When James predictably put the Best of Queen on, Remus was tipsy enough to sing along loudly, and just wanted to dance. When Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy came on, Remus had tugged Sirius away from an intense game of uno, and into the semi-private kitchen. 

Shly, he tugged as Sirius’s jacket sleeves, a not so subtle hint he wanted it off. Sirius smirked, but obliged. Remus tossed the jacket off to the side, and ran his hands down Sirius’s arms to take his hands, and draw him in close. 

“Don’t lose my jacket though, I’m going to need that later.” 

“Why?” Remus asked, curious. He had not been told about any plans of going out, and was more than happy to just spend the night just like this.

Sirius distracted him though, by singing in time with the song, and dancing close to him. Remus realized he had never really heard Sirius sing before, and found himself enchanted with his voice. 

“You know, I bet in another life you were in a band.” Remus said, dazed and with stars in his eyes for the man singing to him. 

Sirius hummed happily, pressed close to Remus. “Probably in a few of my other lifes.” 

“I hope you’d get me front row tickets.” Remus said, as Freddy Mercury continued.

“Well, obviously if you’re not on stage playing with me, you're in the front row of every show. So I can sing all the songs to you.” 

“How generous.” Remus said, face close to Sirius’s, lips just a hair apart.

“Well,” Sirius said when he pulled away, a bit flushed. “What kind of rockstar boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” 

Remus' eyes widened a bit. Remus and Sirius had been like magnets finally allowed to find their match ever since they returned from Colorado. The development had been no secret to their friends, and if Remus noted venmos between friends with likely bet money, he just chose to ignore it. Remus found himself at the condo often, but more and more Remus and Sirius would find themselves at Remus’s house. Remus discovered that Sirius really enjoyed cooking, even though he had only started recently, and Remus loved to watch Sirius in the kitchen, while he flipped vinyls, or picked movies for them to watch for the first time together. It had been a peek into domesticity that Remus had never really been able to visualize before, but the more he got, the more he wanted. 

Even with all that though, they had never used the term ‘boyfriend’ before. It made sense of course, Remus couldn’t imagine anything else, but to hear Sirius say it outloud was a pleasure in itself. He loved it. 

Sirius’s eyes also widened as he heard his own words, and saw Remus’s reaction to it. For only the smallest of seconds he felt Sirius falter, but Remus washed it away with a deep, long kiss. Sirius rocked up into him, and when Remus pulled away, they were both red. 

“I think you’re already a pretty punk rock boyfriend.” Remus said, and any worry that was left between the small soft space of Sirius’s eyebrows was erased. The smile Sirius had given him then was the best gift he could have asked for.

Sirius of course had other plans, as the night ached on, filled with laughter and conversation. They were up late, and when James disappeared, Remus assumed he had just gone to use the bathroom after a few drinks too many. The girls presented Remus with gifts, and he unwrapped shiny new vinyls and a book from Lily. It already felt like the perfect birthday, and he could think of only one other thing he wanted. He looked over to Sirius, but Remus gave a loud huff when he realized his boyfriend - the thought made him giddy despite his disappointment - had his leather jacket back on. 

“Oh don’t pout.” Sirius said, as he took his turn to pull Remus away from their friends, and out the back door of the condo. “You can take it off of me again later.” 

“Deal.” Remus said. “Only if you’re not finally taking me out to the woods to kill me.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes at him, but stopped off the back deck of the condo. The night was dark, the moon only a sliver in the sky, which made the stars shine bright. There would only be a few more weeks with Orion in the sky, so Remus looked up to find the star Sirius. It blinked down on both of them. In the distance, Calset and its trails sat, but neither Sirius or Remus cared at that moment. 

“Any minute now.” Sirius said as he looked up into the sky. 

Remus looked at Sirius, confused, and then saw his face reflected by bright, shining color. When he looked back up at the stars, there were thousands more, as fireworks exploded into the sky. Whirls, and pops, colors and light filled Remus’s vision. He knew James was off somewhere setting them off, but knew without a doubt that this had been all Sirius’s idea. 

The shorter man was pressed into him, and looking at Remus like the display hardly existed. “Happy birthday, Moony.” Sirius said, voice soft, and so filled with compassion that Remus felt weak. 

Words were lost to him then, but action was not, and he kissed Sirius until the firework display had finished.

*

“I brought you your costume too.” Sirius said, warm in Remus’s lap.

“Oh goody.” Remus deadpanned. Sirius reached into one of his bags and pulled out a t-shirt with horribly photorealistic wolves edited like a bad J.C. Penny photoshoot in front of a cliff and a moon. “Lovely” Remus said as he inspected it. “You used the company card for this?” 

“Of course.” Sirius said, proud. After they returned from Colorado, Sirius was jobless. And really, he had explained, with his situation, he could be fine like that for a long time. However, Sirius was not one to sit idly, and preferred having a task at hand. As much as Dumbledore had been upset at the loss of his famous Olympian skier, he was willing to employ him elsewhere, if only to cash in on fans who still looked up to Sirius’s skill as a racer.  It had taken some brainstorming, the whole group had thrown out ideas of what Sirius could do at Calset. Marlene had been insistent Sirius be in charge of taking out the trash. James offered Sirius a job working as an instructor, but as Sirius put it, working with large groups of small children who wanted to go as fast as Sirius could ski was maybe not the best idea. 

Remus had also been thinking hard about what Sirius could do as a role, and when Dumbledore had less than casually emailed Remus about what the event schedule looked like for the most social part of the ski season, and Remus had realized that apparently it was part of his job to be in charge of that, the idea fell into place. So Sirius had quickly taken on the role of Events Manager for Calset. Something that Remus was more than happy to let go, and was thrilled even more to see how quickly Sirius had taken to it, and was also excited by it. 

When one lazy weekend, neither Remus or Sirius having to work, they had woken up in bed together, Sirius had proposed his first big event idea to Remus. He had said it shyly, as if Remus might find him stupid. Remus had loved it so much though, and pulled Sirius into a tight embrace, proud of the steps he was taking to find happiness again. 

That day was Mount Calset’s First Annual Pond Skim. It had taken work to pull it together so soon before the day, but the weather had turned out perfectly, and Remus was filled with joy at the energy within Sirius. He was finding it exciting to be at the ski mountain again, and doing it by giving to himself and others what had been taken from him. James had been so excited for the idea he had cried when he was told, and hugged Sirius fiercely. 

Remus reached out and tugged at one of Sirius’s dog eared ponytails. “These going to fit beneath your helmet for your go?” 

Sirius shrugged, but was distracted as James came back out of the lodge, in a brown onesie that was well worn, and rode up high on his legs. In his hands, James held his ski helmet, with a pair on faux antlers taped on. James gave a dramatic bow as he entered the scene, and Sirius clapped, genuinely thrilled. Remus loved it. 

“Alright you lot.” Lily said as she stood. “Group photos, then you can all go be wild.” 

Many turns were taken in various arrangements for photos. Remus’s favorites when he looked back later were the ones of Sirius pulling the loud wolf shirt over him, and Remus trying to wriggle out of it. Sirius’s kiss of triumph when Remus finally relented made it worth it though. The girls posed for dozens of photos, and then made the boys do the same. Remus wanted all of them framed. 

When they finished, the group walked over to where Sirius had overseen the creation of the pond. Guests and visitors were already lined up, and had bib numbers on their chests. 

Sirius squeezed Remus’s hand with an insistence, so they fell a few steps behind their friends. “You sure you’re going to be alright?” Sirius asked, eyes sincere. 

Remus nodded. “I probably won’t be right up at any of the gates.” 

Sirius jumped in. “That's so okay, and please step away if you need to, just text me and I’ll come find you.” 

Remus smiled at him. “I will. But go. Have so much fun. James is waiting for you.” 

“Okay, Moony.” Sirius said. He stood up on the toes of his boots to give him a kiss. He then peeled off, grabbed his skis, and walked with James, Peter, Mary, Marlene and Dorcas to the lift, where at the top all those entering the competition would wait. 

Remus and Lily found a comfortable spot around the pond. Far enough back that Remus felt safe, but close enough that they could still see, participate, and Remus could take pictures for the social media accounts. Sirius’s voice sounded over the loudspeakers, as he ran the event, and announced the names of each skier that descended down the trail. Remus watched as strangers skidded across the shallow man-made pond. Some had taken the costumes seriously, others had just shown up in their general ski gear. Quite a few made it to the other side, where they would hit the snow again and be able to ski off, only their feet wet. Then there were those who did not have enough speed, and toppled into the water harmlessly. The crowd laughed and cheered each time, regardless of the outcome. 

Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary were flawless of course. Peter just barely made it all the way, before he went head first over his skis. Remus’s breath was caught in terror for just a second until his friend’s smiling head came up from the water, and he stood up in the pond, and was helped out. 

Over the speakers, Sirius announced that was the last of the runs, “except for yours truly, Sirius Black, and the great James Potter.” Sirius’s voice rose and fell to make the announcement as dramatic as possible, and he was clearly eating it up. There was a disembodied laugh, James must have done something funny. Sirius, still with a laugh in his voice, added, “Alright, here we come folks.” 

Remus looked up the trail, the start was not high up, and he could see James and Sirius without their ski poles, hand in hand, skating off to push off the start. Even without the mic, Remus could hear Sirius and James’s whoops and hollers as they grew ever closer to the water. Even if it made no sense, Remus also discovered he felt no fear, or even a twinge of anxiety, and was instead only filled with pride. Sirius was working hard to refind his own joy, and part of that looked like skimming across water with James at his side. As their skis hit the water the crowd cheered, and Remus joined in, loudest of all. 

James’s skis started to falter, and he dramatically let go of Sirius’s hands, waving him on to the end. Sirius cleared the water, gave a bow, took off his skis, then plunged back into the water to go meet James. 

“Good thing it's warm.” Lily noted, as they watched their respective partners splash in the water surrounded by snow. 

“It's a good thing I’ve got towels.” Remus added, still unable to wipe the smile from his face. With the event ended, the crowd started to dissipate, either to make their own ski runs in the spring sun, or to the lodge’s drink bar. Lily and Remus moved through the migrating mass to meet their friends. Peter was wrapped up in a towel, and Lily went to hand one to James, who was handling his failure with dignity. Mary had a medal around her neck for best run on a snowboard, and Dorcas, a medal for most graceful. As soon as Sirius saw Remus, he ran towards him, soaking and arms open. 

“No!” Remus screamed as he went to duck away from his wet boyfriend. 

Sirius did not let up, and Remus was not really trying, and it was not long before he ended up with a body sized damp spot at his side. Quietly, into his side, Sirius met Remus’s eyes. “Good?” He asked.

Remus looked at Sirius and told him, “I’m perfect.” He meant it. 

***

The pond skim event had finished with everyone taking off work early, and partaking in beers and drinks on the porch of Calset’s lodge. Visitors had nothing but positive things to say about the event, and their season at Calset as a whole. Sirius beamed with each compliment. Remus took pictures of his friends, smiles wide and goggle tans evident. The afternoon moved into the evening, and the mountain began to close. Sirius walked with Remus and Lily back to the slope side condo, while James skied back with Sirius’s gear in his arms. Everyone else made it safely back to their own homes. 

Inside, James, Lily, Sirius and Remus cooked a haphazard dinner of things found in the boy’s cabinets. Remus found a bottle of wine that had not been opened, and poured them each a glass. It was nearing the end of the ski season and the mountain would be closing soon. No one had quite talked about what that meant yet. Sirius and James would have to move out of the condo, Calset could only house them for the winter season, and Remus had learned that normally their off months would be filled with travel, mostly for Sirius to go race and continue practice in other, colder spots of the world. 

The thought of Sirius disappearing for months, and only to come back in time for December was a heavy weight on Remus’s consciousness, so he did his best to ignore it, and soak up every moment he could spend with him in the meantime. Sirius as always, danced and swayed around the kitchen, a personal show for Remus and he knew it. Lily and James were off in their own little world, and Remus didn’t mind leaving them to it so he could be in his own as well. 

Sirius’s adrenaline had only gone down a bit since the pond skim, and Remus fed off of it. With dinner finished Remus took the lead on washing up. As he worked Sirius was in and out of the kitchen, putting things away, and bringing Remus the dishes to be washed. In between each were little touches and brushes between the two of them. Scrubbing at the dirty plates though was not distraction enough from the thought of Sirius’s absence. Remus felt that even though it had been months that he had only truly just gotten Sirius as part of his life, and selfishly he did not want that to end. It felt like every second needed to matter. 

The urgency of time froze him though, and with the last dish clean in his hands, Remus only stared off into the empty space of the sink. The sounds of voices faded, James and Lily gone off on their own. Remus was only brought back to himself when he felt the heat of Sirius’s body wrap around him from the back. 

“Hey.” Sirius said, voice close to Remus’s ear. It rose the hair on his arms. 

Just the sound of his voice alone brought Remus back to his feet. He set the plate aside on the drying rack, and turned around into Sirius, his body pressed between him and the kitchen counter. Sirius’s eyes burned bright. “Hey.” Remus said back. 

Remus had wondered if the warmth of the day had stirred the same thoughts of summer and absences in Sirius as it did him. The question was answered by Sirius’s kiss though. Fervent, and hungry, like he had to be sure to get enough while he could. Remus fed into it, cupping Sirius’s head in his hands, and pulling him up into him. It was not necessary for Sirius to stand on his tip-toes, but he did, and it made Remus swoon even more. 

Sirius’s hands pulled at Remus needily, and Remus needed just as much. “Moony?” Sirius asked in a breath.

Remus couldn’t help himself. “Yeah, Baby?” 

Sirius’s eyes fluttered at the term of endearment. There were a million others that Remus could have used, but one felt the most right in that moment. It seemed to have landed well though, as Sirius’s chest leaned further into Remus’s. “Come upstairs with me?” Sirius asked.

Remus could only nod. Even with the invite, they stayed planted in their spot for another moment, just kissing. Remus pulled away, still holding Sirius’s face, and just took in the sight of the other man for a minute. Stunning, beautiful, fierce, brave and lovely. Human and imperfect, funny and scared. All things Sirius. Remus’s chest felt filled with how improbable it was that he had found him here of all places. At a job Remus had been terrified of taking, and now the thought of what if he hadn’t was the worst thing he could think of. Everything Remus had ever searched for, even when he didn’t know he was looking, had found him here. And the look in Sirius’s eyes only matched. In unspoken words they communicated, until Sirius pressed a light kiss to the tip of Remus’s nose.

“Remus?” Sirius asked again, a familiar mischievous smile itching across his face.

Being drawn out of his thoughts of how sure Remus felt that in any life, he found Sirius, he hummed in response. “Yeah?” 

“I know you’re thinking all just the sweetest things right now.” Sirius said with another kiss to his cheek. “But I would really like to be having sex with you.” A kiss to his other cheek. “Like. Right now.” 

Remus barked out an unexpected laugh. The laugh that only Sirius could ever really manage to pull out of him. “All you had to do was ask.” Remus teased.

Sirius stuck his tongue out at him, and raised his eyebrows, gave them a wiggle that made Remus laugh again.

“Yes, alright. Let's go.” Remus said through his smile. 

Later, when Remus saw stars from Sirius’s mouth around him, and again deep inside Sirius, Remus was free from all thoughts other than the star in his arms and in his hands. Together they worshiped each other and the temple of time. The time they had now together, and the time that felt way too close that they might not. While he kissed Sirius, Remus felt that he could control all of time, and keep all he wanted just to themselves forever. 

Halfway through the night, only skin and sheets on the bed, Sirius slept with his head on Remus’s chest. Remus held on to him tight, legs intertwined, and Sirius’s arms draped across him. He played absentmindedly with Sirius’s hair in his fingers. Ever since Sirius had found himself freed of the pressures and depression of a job that made him miserable, his long black hair was hardly ever knotted anymore. It was smooth as silk now, and Remus could tell a point of pride for Sirius. 

Remus had dozed off with Sirius, but woken gently into the middle of the night. He took the opportunity to just feel the rise and fall of Sirius’s chest against his. His breath proof of the reality of him, and the reality of Remus. It was with some difficulty that Remus looked away from the face that trusted him enough to be so vulnerable. Sirius’s room in the condo was comfortable, but there was not much of a permanent trace of him. No posters like Remus had expected, and certainly no pictures. Remus couldn’t help but wonder when the last time in his life was that Sirius had truly ever been able to call somewhere home, and not have to relocate every few months. 

Out the window, stars slowly crossed the dark sky. A sad smile found the corners of Remus’s lips as he recognized Orion, and just below, the star Sirius. The celestial body in the sky, and not the one in his arms. There would only be a few weeks left of the constellation and star being so visible in the northern hemisphere, and with the warmth of spring and summer, it would disappear. The parallel of it all hit Remus’s chest, protected only by the buffer of the body that rested there. 

As if he sensed the weight that had been placed on Remus’s heart, Sirius shifted. When Sirius moved closer instead of away, his face nuzzling into the soft spot of Remus’s neck and collarbone, Remus felt his breath return. They got here. They would make whatever came next work. Eventually, Sirius’s warm breath and soothing hold allowed Remus to find sleep again. 

Chapter Text

Remus hated waking up in the mornings. It was a very well known fact about him. He had discovered though, that he hated it far less when his alarm was soft kisses that danced along his jaw, up his face, and gentle as a summer breeze on his eyelids. Mornings also were far better when the first thing in his line of sight was Sirius’s face, half dressed, and far more awake than him. It was hard to be mad about being awake when that was his view. 

“Morning.” Remus grumbled, but he knew his faux grumpiness was spoiled by his smile. 

“Morning, Gorgeous.” Sirius said, because he knew it made Remus blush. “Have you seen my black trousers anywhere?” 

Remus rubbed at his eyes as he pulled himself up against the headboard. “You are absolutely going to have to be more specific.” 

“You know the pair with the horizontal silver zippers on the legs? I wore them out to dinner when we went with Marlene and Dorcas the other day?” 

“Oh yeah.” Remus said. “Those are at mine.”

“Ah damn.” Sirius said. He leaned forward to give Remus a kiss, then rolled off the bed to dig through a dresser drawer. “Guess I’ll have to make do with one of my many others.” 

“Whatever will you do.” Remus said sarcastically, as he leaned over the bed to find his shirt from wherever it had been flung the night before. He knew though that the pants Sirius was looking for were his favorite, and the idea of them safely stored at his house was for some reason comforting in the same way that he knew their exact spot, and their status as favorite. 

In that moment, thinking mindlessly about Sirius’s black pants draped over the bedpost at Remus’s house, the idea was present like it was silly it had never been there before. It bounced around his head, every solution and issue and problem raised and worried through as Remus got out of bed and found his own trousers. So deep in his own thoughts, it took Sirius planting himself firmly in front of him, and looking up at the furrow between Remus’s brow to bring him back to his senses. 

“You’ve got your thinking face on.” Sirius noted. 

Remus allowed himself just a second more of that thinking. All thoughts though were quiet compared to the way Sirius’s face screamed into Remus’s psyche to never let it go. Dark eyebrows over eyes that met his with concern, but filled more with care and understanding. Remus felt quite certain and secure suddenly.

“Your pants should stay at my house.” Remus said.

Sirius’s face quirked like Remus had just said something only slightly funny. “They might be a little short on you.” Sirius said, and he reached out and grabbed the waistband of Remus’s pants to pull them up a bit, as if to demonstrate. 

Remus shook his head. “No, like all your pants.” What he felt made so much sense, but his words did not. 

Sirius’s eyebrow raised a little higher on his face. “Trying to steal all of my wardrobe, are we?” 

“You should move in with me.” Remus blurted out, red faced. In front of him, Sirius instantly stilled, his face shifted quickly into neutral. Remus’s stomach dropped as he instantly felt he had just made a huge mistake. He moved to rectify it. “I mean, I uhhh.” He stuttered, as Sirius’s hands which were still on his waist loosened their grip. “Just a thought, silly really. Ignore me.” 

Unsure what to do with his body, Remus pulled away from Sirius and started to make the bed, not wanting to look at him. Of course Remus would be too ready, too fast, and scare Sirius away. They had only just become boyfriends, and here Remus was planning a whole lifetime for them together in his head. That's what he got for trying to be brave. When he fretted over smoothing the comforter on the bed enough times that there was no possible way to make the bed neater, he had to turn and face Sirius. 

He had not moved from the spot Remus had just left him, but his face had opened, and Remus worried he could see sadness there. He really wasn’t sure though if it was best to try and comfort Sirius, and lie more, or say that he was sorry he had overstepped, or if Sirius needed space. Remus stood with his arms dangling awkwardly at his side, unsure of what to do with them.

“Do you mean that?” Sirius asked, quiet. For a moment, Remus could only see a much smaller version of Sirius in front of him, alone in some dark house where he had never found love. “Do you really want that?” Sirius said again, halfway through a voice crack. 

Unable to take the look on Sirius’s face any longer, Remus moved to stand back in front of him. He steadied his own flying heart with a breath, and defeated, he said “Yeah.” Another breath. “Yeah, I do. I’m sorry if that's a lot.” 

A lifetime of expressions passed over Sirius’s face, and Remus was having a hard time keeping up with them. There was no way he could even begin to guess at the thoughts behind them all. 

Remus rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to say anything. I realize it's a crazy thing for me to say.” 

With a rush of movement, Remus was enfolded in a hug so tight the marrow in his bones felt it. It took a moment to process the sudden hug, but when he did, Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius, and held him close to him. “I’m not perfect.” Sirius mumbled into his chest. “And a bit of a mess sometimes. And still broken in a lot of ways.” 

Remus listened, realized Sirius was attempting to give Remus excuses to pull out. “Me too.” He said. “We can be those things together.” 

Sirius drew his head back, still embraced, and looked up at Remus. “And you really mean it?”

“Yeah.” Remus told him. He had found his home at Calset, and it would only be complete if Sirius was a permanent part of that. “I do.” 

Sirius smiled, gentle and wanting. “Okay. Let’s do it.” 

Sirius’s sudden quiet to quick agreement was the whiplash Remus had come to expect from him, and he wouldn’t have changed it for anything. It was easy for Remus to pick Sirius up off the ground, just a bit, and swing him in a kiss. “Let’s do it.” He agreed. He had everything he wanted. More than he ever could have thought to ask for. Even if it wasn’t going to be perfect always, the thought of him and Sirius in the little home, watching all the seasons fly by, working at Calset, surrounded by the people who loved them most in the world was Remus’s idea of a happy ending. Even if the mountain caused Remus to re-live pain from the past, it had also brought him all the happiness of his future. 

And there was only one thing in life that could make him feel the bravest he ever had in his whole life. As Sirius smiled in his arms, his home, he felt that it was possible. “I want to try to get back on skis.” 

***

They waited until a very early weekday morning, when the mountain would be slow. They had woken up with the crack of dawn, which Remus complained heavily about, but Sirius made him hold himself to his promise. Sirius had grabbed his gear, and James’s for Remus to borrow, and they had marched to the little bunny slope. It was hardly an incline, but the idea of it still made Remus’s palms sweat.

It was so early that the bunny slope wasn’t even running yet, which was completely fine by Remus. He’d much rather walk the distance up the hill than trust himself to stand on skis long enough to ride up it. At the bottom he sat on a small bench with Sirius. James’s ski boots sat in front of him, and Remus eyed them like they might jump up at any minute to bite him. Sirius let him sit in silence as he looked at them, and took deep, practiced breaths. 

“It’s been a really long time.” Remus said. He could remember waddling around in ski boots when he was very little, unbalanced and toddling. His mother would always help him put them on, and when Remus would whine about how tight they were, she would loosen the clips on them before sending him on his way again. When he had been older, he had been embarrassed by how awkwardly he walked in them, his limbs already too long for him to be graceful. Hope had never minded his grumbling as she waited for him to put them on though. 

“Walking in the boots is still the hardest part really.” Sirius said. “After this, it will all be easy.” 

It was a lie, but one Remus liked the thought of. He took another breath again, pulled off his own boots, and fought to get the ski boots on. They were about as uncomfortable as he remembered, but there was something about the feel of them that was a pleasant memory of the times with his parents. 

“And there's step one.” Sirius said, proud. It was going to be a warm day, but with the morning chill, they still had brought layers. Sirius tenderly gave Remus a ski helmet, and went to strap it on for him, giving Remus a quick kiss on the way. Remus could almost ignore what he was about to do for the first time in years with just the look on Sirius’s face. In fact, Remus realized, as much as he was afraid, he also could sense the undercurrents of excitement. Inside him somewhere, his younger self who had truly loved the sport before it was taken from him, was bouncing up and down. And now, with Sirius there in front of him, Remus just wanted to keep making him proud. If Sirius had faced his mother, Remus could do this. 

“Ready to walk up?” Sirius asked.

And with that, the shakiness of his breath made a quick return. But Remus gave a firm nod. Sirius pulled both pairs of skis into his arms, and Remus didn’t mind letting him. Sirius looked graceful as ever in his ski boots as he walked up the slight incline, but went slowly so Remus did not fall behind as he remembered how to walk in such a strange manner. 

At the little hut where normally the magic carpet would drop skiers off, Sirius put both skis on the ground. His long and heavy grey skis set to the side. He laid James’s red ones out, facing across the hill. Remus looked down at them. They were so different than the last pair of skis he had worn. But he supposed, he was too. Not only had he grown up since then, but the Remus that looked at them now was even different than the Remus who had signed the job contract at Calset back in December. 

“I can do this.” Remus said out loud, half to himself, half to Sirius. 

“You can.” Sirius confirmed, and Remus wanted with everything to believe him. “It’s less about remembering how to ski, your body still has it in you somewhere.” Sirius said. “It's just about feeling ready. And that doesn’t have to be today if you don’t want it to be.”  

He knew that Sirius was probably right. Even though it had been years since the accident, Remus used to be a formidable skier. That same, younger boy was giddy inside him, but had been silenced by the scared man he had become. He wanted that brave boy to shine through. “Today.” Remus said, if only because if he got it over with now, he could stop thinking about having to try. 

“Okay.” Sirius said, gently. “I’ll be right next to you the whole way down.” Even though Sirius had his skis, he would walk alongside Remus without them. 

The determination set in, and he knew it was then, or never. He reached out a hand to place on Sirius’s steady shoulder to use as a prop, and one by one, he clicked his boots into the ski bindings. There they were. On him. Back on skis. He kept his hand tight on Sirius, who did not flinch. 

“Phew. Okay.” Remus said. A wave of heated relief flew through him as he realized the world did not shatter into pieces as soon as he had attached himself to the skis.

“Give them a few stomps, feel them connected to you.” Sirius advised.

Remus did, one foot up and then down again, and then the other. There was a bit of a stilted slide, and in fear, Remus leaned back to try and counteract it. Sirius put a sturdy hand on his back to help bring him back to stillness. “Good!” Sirius said, delighted, as Remus breathed hard. 

It was a lot of effort for Remus to not be screwing his eyes shut, but the longer he stood on the skis, the easier it felt. “Alright.” Remus said once, then repeated, “Alright, alright.” 

“You’re doing amazing.” Sirius beamed. 

Remus rolled his eyes a little, but found a smile. Sirius was looking at him like he had just taken his first steps on the moon instead of the bunny slope. 

“I think I’m ready to try moving.”

“Hell yeah you are.” Sirius said, and shifted to stand, ready to move with Remus. “We’re just going to go straight across, worry about turning after you feel the snow beneath you again.” 

Remus nodded, and went to push his legs out to skate. The motion came almost without thought. Sirius was right, his body had remembered for him. It was not long before he and the skis were gliding across the little strip of snow, and even though the movement was small and slow, he felt a nervous smile across his face. The physical memories of his accident had been so strong for so long, that he had forgotten so many of the physical memories of all the good times before it. The way the wind pushed against his face as he moved through it, how he was making distance without steps, and the way he knew he could control it. While it was shaky still, his smile spread. 

“Yes!” Sirius whooped, jogging a bit to keep up with him. “Look at you go!” 

Remus laughed, and then allowed himself to pizza into a slow stop. He knew a younger Remus would roll his eyes at the amateur maneuver, but in that moment, it felt impressive. 

Sirius’s smile for him was as wide and bright as the world. “You’re killing it, babe!”

It made Remus laugh. “You literally have gold medals. This is not killing it.” 

“If I have gold medals then my opinion must be respected.” Sirius said, like it was a cold hard fact.

“Sure, sure.” Remus placated, and realized in surprise he was having fun. Sirius was making this fun. “I want to give the rest of it a go I think.” 

Sirius gave a short clap. “Okay! I’ll be right here.” 

Remus nodded, and looked down the bunny slope. It really was hardly any angle, but at that moment it was more serious than any black diamond he had ever skied in his youth. He pushed off again, and slowly, tested rolling his ankles and knees within his ski boots and ski pants. The skis moved with them, and he had successfully managed one turn, and then another, and another. Before he knew it, he had reached the bottom. 

The pride he felt at himself was swelling within Remus as he pulled himself to an, albeit shaky, stop. Sirius was right behind him in an instant, as thrilled as he was. “I did it!” Remus shouted.

“You did!!” Sirius said back, louder. 

Remus beant with his hands on his knees, and a rush of dizziness passed. He looked back up, where Sirius’s skis waited back at the top. “Again.” Remus said. Determined. 

For three more runs, Sirius ran after Remus on skis like a dog. Each time, Remus felt more and more sure as his muscles dusted off cobwebs and trauma, and he remembered how to ski. The sun was warming up, and Remus knew that it would not be much longer before Calset opened, and guests would be taking up the bunny slope. 

They were at the bottom again. “One more time.” Remus said. “Ski with me this time?” He asked Sirius.

Sirius looked surprised. Remus had been honest with Sirius that he was not sure for his first time if he would be able to manage being on skis around anyone else also on skis. It was not his fault, afterall, that he had been hospitalized on the side of a mountain. It had been the actions of another skier. But Sirius, of all people, Remus could trust. And, the day felt special, and Remus wanted to share in it even more than they already were. 

“Yeah?” Sirius asked.

Remus nodded. “Yes, please.” 

So together, they walked back up the bunny slope. Remus stepped back into the skis, blown away by how quickly the little step had come back to him. When he looked up Sirius had already stepped into his skis, and was at a distance from Remus. Sirius looked on nervously. 

“I’ll be okay.” Remus said. He wasn’t sure if he would be, really, but he deeply wanted it to be the truth. 

Sirius nodded, and Remus couldn’t help but find it adorable how scared Sirius seemed on his behalf. He skated over carefully to Remus’s side. “However you want.” Sirius said.

Remus looked past Sirius, down the little slope. “You go first?” He requested, not quite ready to have a skier out of his line of sight again. Additionally, he really had always loved watching Sirius ski. 

“Anything for you.” Sirius said. 

Remus watched as Sirius gave a practiced movement, and set off down the trail, taking his turns wide, and very slow. Remus stepped to follow, sticking to Sirius’s tracks the best that he could. They felt natural, and made for him to follow. He had forgotten, in all his years far from mountains and snow, how beautiful it was to share the movement with someone else. 

Sirius was at the bottom quickly, and Remus stopped next to him just a moment behind. Sirius’s eyes twinkled as they stepped out of their skis, and Sirius barreled Remus into a hug.

“I’m so proud of you.” Sirius said, rumbling happily through his coat. 

Remus couldn’t help but feel the same. “Thank you.” He said. His cheeks were cold, his nose was running a bit, and he was not sure how long it would take, if ever, for him to feel comfortable sharing a ski trail with anyone but Sirius, but he was so proud, and so happy. 

“And to think back.” Sirius lamented, a bit of a tease sneaking into his voice. “That it was not too long ago you thought I was an absolute prick.” 

Remus laughed. “To be fair, you kind of were.” 

Sirius waved a defeated hand. “Sure sure. But I must have done something right though, because here we are now.” 

Remus did look at where they were now, and smiled. “I don’t think you had to do anything. I think I was always going to love you.” 

The words left Remus’s mouth before he had even thought about them, and he almost stuttered as he finished the sentence. He had thought he had made a mistake and was going to lose Sirius when he had asked him to move in, but he had just told Sirius that he loved him. 

Sirius did not miss a beat though, as the words sunk into his skin like snow. “And I was always going to love you.” Sirius said. 

Remus kissed him. His star, his safety, his joy and his home. Remus loved Sirius, and Sirius loved him back, and Remus would have endured the danger of a black diamond, or bunny slope for that matter, any day to always end up in this place.