Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Where are you off to?”

Feet halting beneath you, every muscle tenses as you hear Tifa step up behind you. You mentally curse her perceptiveness, having been so close to the door and making it out without anyone's knowledge before she called out for you.

With a gentle laugh, you glance at her from over your shoulder, noticing that Biggs, Jessie and Wedge who’d been at their regular table talking were looking your way as well.

“Out,” you start, offering a small smile as you scramble to come up with an explanation. Now that Tifa had asked and gotten their attention, there was no way any single one of them were going to let you slip out with just that. Taking a glance around the rest of the bar, your answer comes to you with a blink of the eye; “it’s late. I’m gonna retire for the night.”

“Oh?” Tifa’s head tilts, a frown of concern falling on her lips. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you assure with ease, waving your hand at her. “Just tired. Didn’t get a good night's rest last night.”

“ I think Y/N’s got a boyfriend she’s not telling us about.”

You like to think your expression is schooled, but even then you can’t help the way your eyes widen slightly at Jessie’s taunt. There’s a teasing smile on her face as she says the words, offering a nudge to Biggs’ arm as the two boys turn to you with wide eyes and Tifa’s concern is quickly replaced with interest.

“Oh!” Tifa calls, clapping her hands in front of her and she turns to you with a twinkle in her gaze. “ Really ?”

Before you can say anything, Jessie is jumping up from her seat and crossing the short distance over to you and Tifa by the bar door. She’s grinning from wide, ear to ear, moving to stand next to Tifa as she lets her eyes drag across you in thought. “Hasn’t she seemed more happy recently? A sort of… pep in her step?” She asks Tifa, blatantly ignoring the fact that you’re standing right in front of her. “Besides, she’s alway sneaking off early after meets. Especially when she used to stay and play cards with me all night.”

Panicked, you shake your head; “no, I–”

“I guess that is true,” Tifa agrees thoughtfully, nodding her head before her eyes meet yours directly. “You have seemed more distracted recently. Like you’re always lost in your thoughts.”

Feeling your cheeks warm, you stare back and forth between the two of them, suddenly realizing how dangerous they really were.

“But that’s just crazy,” Biggs finally speaks up, him and Wedge moving to stand with you three and your saving grace. “Y/N would’ve told us. Wouldn’t you?”

“Exactly,” Wedge agrees with ease, a joyful smile on his lips like there always is as he grins at you widely. “Y/N tells us everything! We’re her friends!”

You’ve never loved Biggs and Wedge more than you do at that moment.

“Of course,” you agree with ease, ignoring the small tinge of guilt that floods you when you realize that you are in fact lying. That, and you are keeping a secret from them… but if it weren’t for the circumstances, you would’ve told them all right away.

You wish you could tell them.

“I’ve just been tired recently,” you move to explain to Tifa and Jessie, hoping they’ll buy it. “We’ve been ramping up our efforts and it’s just been leaving me a little more exhausted as of late.”

Jessie still looks like she doesn’t quite trust you, a certain edge to her eyes as she glances at you, half expecting you to crack. You will yourself to hold strong, never letting your smile fade from your lips as you take a small step towards the door.

“Okay,” Tifa concedes with a nod, smiling at you. “Well, try to get some rest tonight. You know you can talk to me if it is more, right?”

Swallowing thickly, you nod, hoping it doesn’t come across too stiff as you offer them one last wave before turning and making your way out of the door. Jessie calls out to you to be safe on your way home just before you leave, and that brings a smile to your face, happy that she wasn’t actually upset with you and let the door to Seventh Heaven fall shut behind you.

Then, you take a moment, breathing in sharply before starting on your trip.

When you reach the corner you would’ve turned to head home, you turn the opposite way, and continue on from there, making your way out of Sector Seven and past that. You don’t stop, in fact, until you reach the edge of where you’d head to go up Topside, shrouded by the shadows that the night provided, glancing over your shoulder once more to make sure no one had followed you.

Then, just as you move to step forward, a hand wraps itself around your wrist and you’re tugged to the side, pressed against the wall of a fence as a figure presses itself up against you. There’s a momentary breath of panic, before you recognize the familiar shade of red and the touch of the hand that ghosts across your cheek and you let out a heavy breath.

“Reno,” you call, meeting his gaze as you blink up at him. He’s grinning widely down at you, his other hand falling on your hip as he brushes back a stray hair with the other.

“Hey,” he whispers, biting his lip. 

In the next second, he’s pressing his lips against your own and you instantly return the affection. Your hands move to grip his cheeks, playing with ruly strands of his hair and tugging at them, curling into his hold to press yourself against him. Reno moans against the action, squeezing your hips in his hands, biting your bottom lip gently as he pulls away.

Breathless, you glance up at him.

“You were late,” he whispers a moment later, frowning slightly.

“Sorry,” you sigh, letting your hands fall against his chest. “Tifa caught me on my way out and then Jessie said she thought I was sneaking out to see some guy and that got the guys’ interest and it was just… a lot.”

“Little does she know how right she is,” Reno teases, quirking a brow down at him.

You just shake your head up at him, playing with the edge of his suit. “It sucks lying to them,” you admit quietly, avoiding his gaze as you say the words. “I wish I could tell them. I wanna tell Tifa and Jessie all about you.”

“About how great of a guy I am?”

Scoffing, you lightly slap his chest; “Reno. I’m serious.”

The smirk fades from his lips and is replaced by a gentle frown. “I’m sorry,” he offers softly, tracing a loose pattern on your hip with his thumb. “I wish we could tell people too. Rude’s actually been pretty noisy lately himself and I think he knows something. But… you understand why we can’t yeah?”

“Because Avalanche is actively trying to bring down Shinra… the company you work for?” You snort at Reno, raising a brow at him. “Yeah, I know.”

Licking his lips, Reno huffs; “I wish it was different but… this is how it has to be for now.”

Nodding, you sniffle; “I just know this can’t last is all.”

Frowning, Reno’s brows furrow; “what do you mean?”

“Tifa says an old friend of hers is coming down soon,” you explain, “he’s a merc but he’s apparently an ex-soldier… I think Barret wants to get pretty serious. And I shouldn’t even be telling you this stuff because I’m betraying my friends doing it… let alone just being with you.”

You can’t help it, your emotions catch up with you. The incident from earlier, although mild, had sent you in a frenzy and the sheer possibility of your friends, your family knowing that you were dating one of Shinra’s Turks? It had terrified you. Barret would for sure throw you out and Jessie, Biggs and Wedge would never talk to you again… And Tifa? She’d be so hurt and betrayed and–

“Hey, hey,” Reno calls out, cupping your cheek as he pulls your eyes on him. You bite your lip as he does, trying to stop the tears that refuse to stop, meeting his eyes as he brushes them away with his thumb. “We’ll figure it out, okay? Somehow.”

Nodding, you sigh. Truthfully, it’s hard to believe his words and you hardly think that any of it will end well. If anything, it’s bound to end horribly. Horrifically. But… but you can’t let that ruin the moments you have now because you’re not sure how much longer you’ll have them.

Because Reno might be Turk and work for a company that goes against everything you believe in, and you might be a terrorist in the eyes of Reno’s company… but you love him and he loves you and you’re not even sure how it all happened but he owns your heart completely and wholly.

And you wanted to cherish that for as long as you could while you still could.

“Okay,” you whisper, setting your hand over his own as you lean into his touch. “I trust you.”

Chapter Text

This was so wrong.

Unbelievably, without a doubt, to the point your friends would hate you if they knew, wrong .

And yet, you couldn’t help yourself.

He was everything you stood against. The perfect embodiment of everything you fought against. He worked for Shinra… and not just a businessman or a foot soldier, but a Turk. He’d spent the entirety of his career trying to convince your friend Aerith to help Shinra, and while he’d never physically harmed her nor did she seem particularly afraid of him, it still stood to point that him and the rest of the Turks intentions weren’t all that innocent. 

Cloud had fought against him many times. Yes, more times than not, Cloud had come out on the winning side, but it didn’t erase the fact that they’d been at each other’s throats more times than you could count.

He was the enemy.

He was Shinra.

Sure, you didn’t inherently think he was a bad person. In fact, you thought he had the capabilities to do great things, that deep in his heart he was a good person and just did bad things. But that didn’t erase those bad things.

He’d actively participated in the Sector Seven plate falling. There was no doubt, no way to change the story in small tweaks that made him seem just a little better. You’d been there. Sector Seven was your home just as much as it was Tifa’s or Barrets, Jessie, Wedge and Biggs had been your friends just as much as anyone else's… You’d seen him that day, in that helicopter, had nearly been barrelled by his own bullets.

Of course, he hadn’t known you were there. Not at first.

But still, it didn’t change anything.

It terrifies you though. Scares you to the core . Watching as Cloud pulls back his sword and aims it directly for Reno’s head. He’s going to kill him, you realize, going to hit him without a second thought. And sure, the others looked just as horrified; particularly Tifa, because killing was never something any of you had ever done.

Hurt, maim, beat… sure. All of those. But never killing. 

It’s different, though, for you. Means something else.

The striking, paralyzing realization that despite all of it, the thought of Reno dying makes you feel sick. It hurts in a way you can’t directly explain and there’s a desperation that’s bleeding through you to save him without a second thought. It’s why your feet move before you can stop them, it’s why it feels like you blink and then suddenly you’re in front of Reno, holding onto him tightly, on your knees, turning up to look at Cloud’s terrifying gaze and pleading with him.

“Please,” you cry, hoping there’s a shred of some care in Cloud for you that he’ll hear you and that he’ll stop. “Please don’t hurt him!”

And the words are intimate. More intimate than you mean. You’re not begging Cloud to stop for him, nor are you doing it because the act in itself is wrong… you’re begging him because you don’t want it to be Reno on the other end. You don’t want Reno to die. You’re doing it because you can’t stomach the thought of losing him. 

There’s a moment of hesitation, Cloud stops and his fingers twitch on the handle of his buster sword but then, he’s leaning forward, shifting with the intention of following through and your heart sinks. But you refuse to move. You’d rather be hit then let Reno.

Reno shifts when he realizes Cloud isn’t going to stop, and there’s a paralyzing fear as your name leaves his lips in a shrieking cry and he moves with the intention to shove you aside but then Tifa’s arms are wrapping around Cloud and she’s pulling back, screaming his name.

You watch for a moment more, heart pounding against your chest, eyes drifting across everyone else who stares in a mix of shock and confusion, particularly aimed at you. But then your eyes fall on Aerith, and oddly enough she’s smiling; there’s a hint of worry behind her gaze as she shuffles to Cloud but she winks at you and despite it all, you flush.

Pushing yourself to your knees, you turn, knowing that Tifa has Cloud and let your eyes drift across Reno. You avoid his gaze even as he stares deeply back at your own, letting your eyes drift across his entire body. He’s got a few bruises here and there, and there’s a cut across his arm that’s bleeding but– but he’s okay.

When you finally meet his eyes, Reno is staring back at you, lips parted in disbelief. 

There’s a moment where the two of you just stare at each other, no words spoken, and then Reno leans towards you; “Y-Y/N–”

“We need to get going.”

Cloud’s sharp tone pulls you from Reno, eyes turning only to find him staring back at you, gaze harsh. Your heart plummets to the pit of your stomach, the realization of what you’d just done catching up to you; they probably all hated you. Tifa, Aerith, Barett… all of them were probably looking at you with a similar look because of what you’d done and it was you standing with Reno, on the opposite side of them.

With the man who had indirectly or directly hurt them in some way.

“We don’t have time to waste,” Cloud continues, and you flinch at his tone.

Eyes falling to your feet, you can’t bear to look at the others. “I…–”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Aerith cuts in and your eyes snap to her at her soft, warm tone. “We understand.”

She’s smiling, just like before. A gentle, comforting smile as she steps forward and nods at you.

Your lips part, shock flooding you.

When your eyes drift across the rest, they all wear similar expressions. Tifa, though clearly worried about Cloud, is smiling at you too and Yuffie’s grinning mischievously down at you, wiggling her brows. Barrett looks somewhat confused, but he doesn’t look mad and Red and Cait’s expressions are just as eased.

None of them are mad.

“We’ll keep going,” Aerith nods at Cloud who has since turned his back to you. “You should get Reno somewhere safe,” she explains, sending you a thumbs up, stepping until she’s right in front of you.

You blink, body easing as her words settle.

Then, she leans down, lowering her voice; “and don’t worry about Cloud.”

She pulls back before you can say anything else, grabbing Cloud by the arm and tugging him with her as Tifa and Barrett both send you nods and then they’re all turning, walking off.

And just as Aerith turns the corner, she smiles back at you; “try to catch up when you can, kay?”

You nod, still in shock, numb somewhat, until a minute passes and it’s just you and Reno.

Turning to the man, your chest tightens when you realize you’re faced with a whole new reality and that is Reno who no doubt will say something.

“Where’s Rude?” You find yourself asking, shifting to grab him so you can help him up. “Can you walk? If not, I can–”

Reno stops your movements, grabbing onto your arm with a tight hold before tugging you back down to sit with him. You stumble slightly, falling against him, your hands falling on his shoulders to catch yourself as you meet his gaze, faces inches apart from one another.

“Reno–”

“That was insane,” Reno breathes, shaking his head at you. “He would’ve killed you.”

Frowning, you swallow thickly; “it’s Sephiroth, I think… Cloud–well, I don’t think he’d try to hurt me–”

“Y/N,” Reno cuts in, “that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Lips parting, your shoulders fall. “My feet just moved.”

“You could’ve been killed!”

“You too,” you find yourself crying, eyes widening in exasperation as you meet his eyes. “And I couldn’t… let that happen, okay? Not to you… I was so scared and then my feet were moving and I just… fuck, are you okay?”

Reno stares back at you in disbelief.

“I thought you hated me,” he whispers, finally letting go of your arm.

“I tried to,” you mumble, glancing at your lap. “But I can’t. I… I love you.”

Reno sighs. “I’m a Turk.”

“I know,” you echo, biting your lip. “And I'm a part of Avalanche.”

His hand twitches by his side and he leans closer; “we could never work out.”

“I know,” you repeat, finally raising your head to meet his gaze once more. This time, you hold it, refusing to look away. He’s inches away, you can feel his breath ghost across your skin and feel his warmth radiate off of him. It’s the closest you’ve been to him since before the plate fell and you’ve missed him so much. “I couldn’t let you die though.”

Reaching forward, Reno cups your cheek and instantly, you lean into his touch. His eyes are sad, and there’s a deep frown across his lips. “I know,” he mimics, having nothing else to say. “I love you too.”

Eyes falling shut, you let out a shaky breath. Normally, someone telling you they loved you back would be cause for celebration but it pulls an ache from you that you can’t rightly explain.

“Can you walk?” You decide to ask after a moment.

“Yeah,” he grunts, pulling his hand away as you shuffle back, grabbing him by the arm and helping him to his feet. He lets out a groan as he does, and you frown up at him, watching as he uses his free hand to hold his stomach.

“Here,” you mumble, wrapping your arm around his waist and letting him lean his weight against you. “I’ll get you to Rude, okay?”

He hums lightly; “okay.”

“Then… then I have to go after them… you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” he sighs, “yeah, I know.”

He says it with a heavy heart and you feel it all the same. Because you loved him, and he loved you, but he was Shinra and you were Avalanche and despite it all, you both knew the reality of your situations.

Even if it hurts.

So damn much.