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Wei Wuxian sat sandwiched between Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji on the lounger in the Lans’ vast drawing room. The dove white walls, accentuated with dusky shades of blue and grey, were supposed to evoke an air of elegance and clarity. Wei Wuxian had thought them calm and quiet, like the Lans themselves. Given the current circumstances, the colours made him shiver.

They were in the west wing of the Lan mansion, where Lan Qiren, the Lan brothers’ uncle, resided. The brothers had temporarily shifted there; the east wing was being remodelled.

Like most of the people in their town, Wei Wuxian too, knew the tale of the east wing. It was something of a local legend. Years ago, the eldest scion of the Lan family and his pretty wife had lived in the east wing, with their two sweet little boys. Then, some sort of terrible tragedy befell the family, for one day, the pretty wife vanished from the east wing, and within a couple of years her husband, in his inconsolable grief, followed her out of this world. Or so they say. A romantic tragedy, or a tragic romance, have it how you will.

The responsibility of the two boys left behind, fell upon their uncle. Both were changed irrevocably by the death of their parents, especially their mother. They grew up strange, identical in their looks, save that one always smiled, and the other never did.

And so, parts of the east wing had remained closed and inaccessible for many years. Lan Wangji had lived, like a recluse in his own home, for a long time in a couple of rooms that remained habitable. Obstinate little mule, Wei Wuxian thought fondly.

Lan Xichen had moved out of the mansion as soon as he was able, though he never left town, and came back almost every other day to spend some time with his uncle. He was planning to move back permanently, for he had acquired a tenure in the university nearby. Of course, that was just one of the factors. The other was his uncle’s failing health. Besides, his little brother was pursuing his doctoral studies in the same university, for a tendency towards academia ran in the Lan family’s blood. Naturally, the brothers would need the entire wing to be habitable. Hence the remodelling.

Wei Wuxian was very much a party to the remodelling. On paper, he was the consultant Lan Xichen had hired. In practice, he left the work in the very capable hands of the co-founder of his business, Wen Qing. Wen Qing came in everyday to clock the progress while he usually snuck in from time to time just to show his face, or when Lan Wangji was particularly pleased with how a room turned out and wanted to show it to his boyfriend.

They were not strange at all. Wei Wuxian could and would totally vouch for them. Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji were the most handsome, most talented, most kind, most helpful, most generous men in the whole world – in short, nothing short of utterly wonderful. Of course they were. Why else would they bear Wei Wuxian’s constant gremlin presence in their lives, if not for their saintly patience?

Their uncle was a whole ’nother story. Wei Wuxian did not want to come face to face with Lan Qiren. He had a history with the Lans, and while the siblings seemed to have forgiven him, their uncle most assuredly had not.

Today, they had been unable to escape the inquisition.

Lan Wangji had wanted Wei Wuxian’s opinion on his new rabbit hutch, and Wei Wuxian was a weak, weak man when it came to bunnies.

Wei Wuxian had been the culprit, as Lan Qiren would say. He had gifted Lan Wangji a pair of bunnies – both male, thankfully – just before he vanished from their lives. Obviously, Lan Wangji had kept the bunnies. As Wei Wuxian later found out, Lan Wangji had turned into a proper bunny dad. He had christened the Holland Lop Wangji and the Dutch black-and-white Bichen. Lan Qiren had vociferously refused to be a grand-bunny-uncle. Despite his objections, Lan Xichen, who always indulged his little brother, had added two more to this little menagerie: Liebing the Florida White and Shuoyue the Harlequin.

The three of them had been discussing the possible dimensions of a hutch large enough for four rabbits, with room to spare in case they wanted another rabbit or two, when Lan Qiren walked in, glaring his disapproval, and tap-tapping his cane on the floor. Wei Wuxian noticed a very smug Wen Qing lurking in the corner.

Currently, they were sat in the living room, the massive coffee table an insubstantial barrier between them and Lan Qiren. Lan Qiren fixed the three men in front of him with one of his patented stern looks. Wei Wuxian felt like a schoolchild sitting in the principal’s office, awaiting punishment for his most recent mischief.

Well, it was not too far from the truth. Lan Qiren had been the Dean of the school when Wei Wuxian was a student. Wei Wuxian had indeed been summoned multiple times to the Dean’s office to receive admonitions and warnings from Lan Qiren. Sometimes he had been accompanied by his foster bro– okay, no, not okay, he would not think of that now.

Same energy, huh. Wei Wuxian was certain that this time the sheepish look on his own face was mirrored on the other two as well.

Lan Qiren cleared his throat.

‘To summarise: Wangji, Wei Wuxian and you met in university, of which I was made aware, and eventually dated, of which I was not. Before your final examinations, Wei Wuxian disappeared without any prior notification, and you searched for him, to no avail. After the betrayal, you considered the relationship at an end.’

‘Not a betrayal. Wei Ying must have had a reason.’ Lan Wangji sounded determined.

Wei Wuxian shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Lan Qiren glared at him.

‘Mn. A reason that Wei Wuxian has not disclosed yet. Unfortunately, both Xichen and you suffer from a high level of credulity where Wei Wuxian is concerned.’

Wei Wuxian registered an involuntary twitch coming from both sides of him. He sympathized with his poor boyfriends, but he could not even hold their hands in front of their dragon of an uncle. He edged his feet outwards, managing to touch toes with them. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lan Xichen smile a tiny smile.

‘So. Wei Wuxian resurfaced after three years in Yiling, where Xichen met him at a conference on the history of traditional music. Wei Wuxian was now not only in the possession of a degree but was also running his own business, and was trying to enroll for doctoral studies. Apparently, that was enough to impress Xichen.’

Lan Xichen made an involuntary hum. Lan Qiren turned a sharp glance on his eldest nephew.

‘I have a feeling that you are not telling me something, Xichen.’

Wei Wuxian leant back with the sole intention of looking at Lan Xichen’s ears, which, to his satisfaction, had turned red. Ah, his Lans and their little tell.

‘Um. Shufu. I knew Ah Xian from university as well.’

‘I do not doubt that. Wei Wuxian was in your brother’s –’ Lan Qiren stopped abruptly, scanning the three of them one after another, a frown marring his fine features. He seemed to be coming to a rapid and unwelcome conclusion.

‘Xichen. You too?’

Lan Xichen, very wisely, stayed silent. Wei Wuxian hung his head, mostly to hide his smile. Indeed, Lan Xichen had got to him first. The senior student had sought him out after attending his flute recital. Both played traditional flutes; Wei Wuxian played the dizi while Lan Xichen played the xiao. Their shared love of music and the admiration they had developed for each other’s talent had been the basis of their relationship.

Lan Qiren turned his formidable attention onto his younger nephew. ‘Wangji. Were you aware of this? That Wei Wuxian was seeing your brother? Before you decided to pursue Wei Wuxian, that is.’

 ‘Mn.’ Came the characteristic response. Wei Wuxian noted the flush spreading down Lan Wangji’s neck.

‘Is there a reason why both of you chose to keep me in the dark? About all of… this?’ Lan Qiren drew an invisible triangle in the air.

More silence, this time with Lan Xichen pressing down with his big toe on Wei Wuxian’s foot, and Wei Wuxian passing the message on to Lan Wangji. Despite the sunny day outside, the temperature within seemed to drop by several degrees. Wei Wuxian shivered again. Their collective relationship status was… complicated.

In the university, Lan Wangji had been in the same class as Wei Wuxian. The two did not get along well at first. Wei Wuxian had been persistent in his attempts to befriend Lan Wangji, which Lan Wangji found irksome. Naturally. Wei Wuxian did not blame him for that. He had been a scallywag, and proud of it.

Incensed by Wei Wuxian’s antics, Lan Wangji had voiced his opinion to his elder brother. That had piqued Lan Xichen’s interest and so, when he saw Wei Wuxian’s name in the list of recitals, he had attended it, in order to find out who had managed to get so much under the skin of his little brother. After the recital, he had met the artist and expressed his admiration. Flattered, Wei Wuxian had asked to meet again.

They had met again, Lan Xichen out of interest, and Wei Wuxian out of bravado, and both out of curiosity. Then again. And again.

They never figured out who fell first.

After a couple of months, there had been another recital, and Lan Xichen had dragged Lan Wangji to it.

After that they were certain. No matter who fell first, it was definitely Lan Wangji who had fallen the hardest.

They had been together ever since.

Sure, it was tough. Being in the same class meant that Wei Wuxian saw Lan Wangji most of the time, and Lan Xichen less. He had to learn to make time for Lan Xichen and that was super hard for him because he had never even learnt to make time for himself. Lan Wangji helped (bless his stubborn heart), and Lan Xichen was endlessly patient, but it was difficult.

Still, it seemed to be working out. The Lans were quiet and reserved by nature, and they put up with his capers with remarkable patience. Wei Wuxian marvelled at the way their presence brought him a sense of peace. Burying his face in either Lan’s chest, taking in lungfuls of their sandalwood scent did wonders to calm his inner tumult.

He too, had craved their company, dreamt of them both, dared to hope once or twice for a life together.

Then The Thing with his foster brother happened, and Wei Wuxian’s carefully assembled life crashed around him like a house of cards.

He was still not ready to talk about it.

He had run, dropping everything his life was made of. He had made a good friend in school: Luo Qingyang. He did not inform her. His final examinations were just around the corner. He could not care less. He stole into the house of his foster family one last time just to pick up his laptop and his dizi. He could hear his foster sister Jiang Yanli upstairs, whom he loved dearly. He stole out again without meeting her one last time.

He was bitterly certain about one thing: his foster mother would be openly glad that he was gone for good, and his foster father would condone her opinion.

Lan Wangji must have sensed his darkening mood, because he ignored his Shufu’s presence and laid a gentle hand on Wei Wuxian’s own. Lan Qiren immediately frowned at his younger nephew.

‘Wangji. You and Xichen conjointly decided to see Wei Wuxian again, after Xichen informed you of his whereabouts. May I know what was your reason for letting this nitwit exploit your generosity again after he betrayed your confidence so completely?’

Wei Wuxian winced. He had indeed, completely ghosted the Lan brothers. He had blocked them everywhere, and erased his tracks as much as possible. Unfortunately for him, he had not noticed Lan Xichen’s name in that conference programme. Once he realised that Lan Xichen was present, he had tried to evade his former boyfriend, but the latter had hunted him down.

Lan Xichen, understanding, patient Lan Xichen, had not demanded an explanation for his vanishing act. He had merely asked after Wei Wuxian’s health, remarked on the excellence of his presentation, and casually mentioned in passing how deeply distressed Lan Wangji had been for the past three years.

Wei Wuxian had been certain of two things then: one, Lan Xichen was deliberately glossing over his own hurt, and two, for better or worse, he would not be able to escape the Lan brothers again.

‘Shufu!’ Lan Wangji was not scowling at his uncle, true, but his tone conveyed the utmost indignation.

‘Shufu. Ah Xian never exploited either of us. You may not agree with us on this account, but his generosity far outperforms ours.’

Wei Wuxian was startled. Did Lan Xichen know? How did he…? How much did he…?

‘I will determine that once I know the entire circumstances of his disappearance,’ said Lan Qiren. ‘What was that, Wangji? Speak up, boy.’

‘Love Wei Ying.’ Lan Wangji mumbled, but everyone heard him nonetheless.

‘Lan Zhaaan! Warn a guy before you say something like that!’ Wei Wuxian covered his face with both hands. Lan Xichen’s amused chuckle sounded in his ear. Lan Qiren grunted.

‘And what if he disappears again?’

Lan Xichen sighed audibly. ‘Shufu. He will not.’

Wei Wuxian shook his head emphatically. He had no plan to run further. He had to face his demons. The Lan siblings had told him as much without ferreting the truth out of him (yet), and he had decided to place his faith in their words, let them hold him in the palms of their hands.

He had once been afraid of their judgment. He had forgotten, and only recently realised again that Lan Wangji was the only person that had never judged him. Lan Xichen had been upset with him later because he had upset Lan Wangji, but even Lan Xichen had never expected Wei Wuxian to change himself for them, never wanted him to be anything but himself.

He was so, so tired of running.

‘See to it that he does not. I must confess that I remain perplexed at your choice of partners, every time, but I have been told that such choices are dictated by the heart, and as such, cannot be helped.’

‘Shufu,’ the brothers said in unison.

‘What?’ Lan Qiren was relentless. ‘Your young man deserves a full disclosure of information, does he not?’

At that, Wei Wuxian looked up, feeling not a little jealous. Every time, huh? So, in the meantime, his favourite Lans had dated other men? Who were they? What were they like? Had they been good to his Lans? Had they been good enough for his Lans?

Wei Wuxian’s runaway train of thought was cut off by Lan Wangji’s huff. Lan Qiren plowed on, undeterred, and completely overriding his nephew’s objection.

‘At least this one is an academic with an admirable continuity of research, although there is no recognizable family name. Still, I would consider him an upgrade from both of your previous associations.’

Wei Wuxian felt Lan Xichen stiffen beside him. He himself was stunned, just a little. Old Man Lan considered him an upgrade? Who the hell had the Lan brothers dated?

‘Mingjue Ge fulfilled every criterion you set,’ Lan Xichen’s tone had lost quite a lot of its usual mildness.

‘Except for his profession,’ countered Lan Qiren.

Startled at the name, Wei Wuxian waved his hands in the air and wiggled half out of his seat to turn towards Lan Xichen. He felt Lan Wangji’s swift grip on his waistband, pulling him back in.

‘Waitwaitwait, Mingjue? As in Nie Mingjue? The star football player? Ey, Lan Zhan, I won’t fall, don’t worry. Huan Ge?’

‘Mn.’

‘You dated… Nie Mingjue? Oooohmigawd!!! Are you still in touch? Can you get me an autograph?’ With every question, Wei Wuxian’s volume rose, till he was bouncing in his seat with excitement. Predictably, Lan Qiren scowled.

‘Yes to all three,’ said Lan Xichen. He put a hand on Wei Wuxian’s knee to quiet him.

Lan Qiren snorted. ‘A man with an inadequate knowledge of the arts is not fit for my nephew. Kicking around a football all day. Hmph.’

‘Shufu rejected Huaisang,’ intoned Lan Wangji, his hand still on Wei Wuxian’s waistband.

‘A fashion designer.’ Another snort.

‘With adequate “knowledge of the arts”,’ Wei Wuxian could practically hear Lan Wangji enunciate the quotation marks. He let out a giggle. Lan Zhan was the funniest.

‘Wangji, do not be ridiculous. You know as well as I do, that his temperament did not suit yours. Such a frivolous, irresponsible companion is absolutely not ideal for you.’

His nephew was quiet. Wei Wuxian glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. Lan Wangji’s expression seemed to say that this, at least, was true.

‘Mo Xuanyu suited Wangji’s temperament,’ interjected Lan Xichen.

Surprised, Wei Wuxian kept turning his head from one Lan to another. The brothers seemed to be putting up a united, affronted front. He had never before seen them descend to such an unexpected level of pettiness. Delighted, he settled down to enjoy the Lan Household Drama that his luck had snagged him a front-row seat to.

‘Immature, self-effacing, and with a distinct lack of judgment. Not to mention his awkward choice in cosmetics.’ Now Lan Qiren’s voice was on the rise.

Wei Wuxian noted the description, and fleetingly wondered if Old Man Lan’s adjectives for him were just as colourful. He glanced outside at the lovely garden. Lan Qiren’s tongue was sharp, no doubt, but he had green fingers.

It was late afternoon. The bunnies would be up and about soon. He had wanted to see them, hold them for a bit, let their fluffiness fill up his brain till all his thoughts disappeared in bunny fuzz.

Lan Wangji tensed, and Lan Xichen leant forward, both clearly coiling up to retaliate, but Lan Qiren beat both nephews to it. He levelled a long, thin index finger at his eldest nephew.

‘And before you say another word, Xichen, Meng Yao was a scoundrel who deceived you one time too many. I refuse to have the house of my ancestors sullied by a man of such questionable morals. The decision to cut off ties with him was the right one.’

Wei Wuxian raised an eyebrow at Lan Wangji, who silently mouthed, ‘Later.’

Lan Xichen had slumped slightly in his seat, deflated. Wei Wuxian felt bad for him. He did not know the full story, nor did he know Meng Yao. But he knew Lan Xichen, and he must have felt deeply for this Meng Yao if he looked so upset at his Shufu’s admonitions. He laid a sympathetic hand over Lan Xichen’s own.

‘Besides, it was irksome, to say the least, the way both Nie Mingjue and Meng Yao were trying to foist their younger brothers onto Wangji.’

Lan Wangji looked positively mutinous. Lan Xichen sat up straight and cleared his throat once again.

‘It was merely… opportune, Shufu. No one was forcing Wangji.’

‘As opportune as you and Wangji’s plan of remodelling the east wing, Xichen?’ Lan Qiren narrowed his eyes at his nephews.

Wei Wuxian pricked up his ears. Lan Xichen murmured, ‘Shufu’, yet again, and Lan Wangji hummed in tandem. Wei Wuxian sighed and leaned his head back to look up at the ceiling. Lan Qiren and his well-known scorn of all things Wei Wuxian. No wonder he would disapprove of Wei Wuxian having a hand in the remodelling of his ancestral house.

Or… waaaait.

Who had told Lan Xichen about the conference? Wei Wuxian seemed to remember Lan Xichen mention in passing that his Shufu had urged him to present his latest paper there.

‘Admirable continuity of research’? Was that Shufu-speak for ‘You are being tracked’ or ‘I have always kept an eye on you’?

Wei Wuxian let out a big whoosh of air.

Sooo… Lan Qiren, huh. Who knew the old man was so fond of his nephews that one day, for them, he would hunt down his most disliked student?

Did his favourite Lans know that their Shufu was conspiring for them behind their back?

Or were his favourite Lans in cahoots with his not-so-favourite Lan while he himself was in the dark?

Would his favourite Lans one day begin to look like their Shufu?

Wei Wuxian was brought out of his thoughts by the sudden silence that prevailed in the drawing room, unnatural even for the Lan brothers. He sat up quickly to find that the Lan brothers were apprehensively eyeing a thick blue folder with several sheets inside, that their uncle had seemingly conjured out of thin air, and was now brandishing at his eldest nephew.

‘Very well. Now, Xichen. I shall expect a full update by the end of this month.’

Exchanging a glance with his brother, Lan Xichen accepted the folder. ‘Yes, Shufu.’

Something about their expressions made Wei Wuxian suspicious. He plucked the folder off Lan Xichen’s hands and began to leaf through the pages, paying half a mind to the conversation in the background, which had turned from dramatic to domestic.

‘The three of you will have dinner with me tomorrow,’ Lan Qiren was saying.

‘Will Shufu cook?’

‘Yes, Wangji. Make sure to let me know Wuxian’s preferences and allergies.’

‘Mn.’

Wei Wuxian snapped the folder shut. The information and the questionnaires inside were a little too well-researched to be brought out all of a sudden.

‘Lan Xiansheng…’ Wei Wuxian struggled to get his words out. ‘This folder contains, among other things… alternative living arrangements… my relocation to Gusu… my job prospects in Gusu… okay, I get that, and then, pre-nuptial agreement?… wedding preparations? … Con-conjugal arrangements? Does this mean w-what I think it… Huan Ge? Lan Zhan? Have you seen this?’

No answer. Wei Wuxian found himself staring at two sets of reddened ears. Both Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen were pointedly not looking at him. He had never thought either that he would have to disclose such specific information to his former teacher, that too, on request.

‘And then… savings schemes… a-adoption plans… s-schools nearby… oh, oh my…’ Now Wei Wuxian really began to hyperventilate and started patting his own chest. The Lan brothers had turned identically concerned eyes on him, damn them.

Managing to catch his breath somewhat, Wei Wuxian let out a huff of sardonic amusement. So they had planned to reel him in all this while? Who knew Lan Qiren could be so unpredictable and so meticulous at the same time? And that Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji could be such well-trained accomplices to their uncle?

‘Lan Xiansheng, aren’t you thinking a little too far ahead?’ he smiled, all teeth. ‘You seem to have thought about everything except my funeral!’

‘No need. We have a family plot.’

Wei Wuxian squawked, choking on empty air. Lan Xichen rubbed his back. Lan Wangji handed him a glass of water. Wei Wuxian downed it at one go and stood up.

‘I think I need to go see the bunnies. Lan Zhan, you promised to show me the bunny room, Huan Ge, let’s go,’ he said.

The plans were solid, and so was the Lans’ act, he had to give them that. Possibly the only unplanned, spontaneous dialogue was about the Lan brothers’ former partners.

All this was making him feel somewhat lightheaded. Burying his face in a soft, plush bunny tummy might help. Burying his face in a hard, non-plush Lan tummy would not be bad either.

‘I’ll get you two more bunnies, Lan Xiansheng,’ he sang out. ‘I’ve already picked them out. There’s a black Polish, we’re going to call him Chenqing, and there’s a red New Zealand, we can call him… Suibian! Lan Xiansheng! Do you hear that? Two more bunnies!’

‘Wei Ying.’ Lan Wangji’s quiet voice sounded in his ear, Lan Xichen’s palm felt warm at the small of his back.

As they exited the room together, Wei Wuxian heard Lan Qiren call out behind them, determined to have the last word.

‘Wuxian. Be especially careful of Bichen. He bites.’

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