Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"He's pretty," was the first thought Riku had when he first met Yushi.

"Can I keep him?" was the next thought he had as they both slowly formed a casual friendship.

He was never the type to branch out to people willingly. Becoming friends with someone requires a special connection. Whether it's a mutual interest or having the same personality, that small detail helps him talk to the person.

But with Yushi, he didn't need that. All it took was one look and he knew there was a string pulling them together.

As time passed by, they became close. The cat-like quirks that Yushi would portray or the way he'd randomly get clingy became acts of endearment. Riku has memorized all of his habits. At one point, he even told Yushi, embarrassingly, to take care of him forever. He was probably already at the point of being hopelessly whipped for Yushi.

It was fine up until that point. He was fine as Yushi's bestest friend. He was fine to be Yushi's pillar. He was fine with this so-called reasoning until fate decided he couldn't live in this lie anymore.

It was a cold January when the first sign happened. They were cuddling on the sofa alone and Yushi was particularly clingy as he latched on tightly, hugging him from the side. Riku didn't mind it as he held him back, enjoying the warmth.

At one point, they faced each other, Yushi was staring at him with his usual blank expression. Riku felt mischievous enough that he decided to make cute faces towards him, wondering if Yushi would react to any of it. At first it was just winking or a peace sign, and then he'd try posing with an apple heart, but none of these were making Yushi smile. In frustration, he did the one thing he thought would be reckless. He leaned forward and tried to smooch him jokingly, thinking it was a funny tease.

He expected Yushi to not react as he always did. Instead, Yushi took his first kiss.

It was a soft press against his lips, barely lasting a second before Yushi pulled away. He didn't look affected. In fact, he seemed to have a nonchalant expression.

But to Riku, that was the first time he realized, "I like you."

It wasn't a scary thought, surprisingly. He accepted his feelings rather quickly. That was why he leaned in again, this time taking the courage to kiss Yushi.

It was longer this time. He could feel Yushi's breath on his cheek and he could feel Yushi reacting back, kissing back with the same firmness.

It made him feel alive, giddy, powerful, and brave for that 10 seconds until a loud voice interrupted them.

"Wha…how come they can kiss but I can't?" Sakuya yelled out, in the middle of their living room, pointing at them. A baffled Sion looked at them, unable to answer while Daeyoung looked at them in shock too. Ryo looked at Sakuya in surprise at his question.

At that point, Yushi pulled away, his focus was suddenly on Sakuya.

"Hyung," Sakuya tried asking Sion again, but this time Yushi stood up and went towards him with a mischievous smile.

"Kiss? Who are you going to kiss?" Yushi asks teasingly, poking his cheek.

"No one," Sakuya swatted his hand with an annoyed look, purposely looking away from everyone's stares.

Riku was still frozen on the couch and curled in embarrassment as he grabbed a pillow to cover his face.

"Aww, our maknae is growing up," Sion, finally recovering from the shock. He decided teasing the maknae was easier than dealing with what happened a few minutes ago.

Ryo simply looked at Sakuya, with a frown on his face.

Daeyoung walked over to Riku, calling him softly before deciding to hug him. Riku could only say his thanks silently as he stayed still in embarrassment.

Yushi was the first to notice them on the couch, cuddling as Daeyoung whispered something to Riku and Riku shook his head. He froze for a moment, somehow feeling tense. Even though everyone else was enjoying the moment, he couldn't.

Chapter Text

The one thing Riku didn't expect was him feeling awkward towards Yushi as the days passed by. It wasn't something he wanted to do, to take many detours instead of walking straight to his new home. But he was stuck in feeling this feeling of embarrassment as he kept recalling their kiss, but also the questions that kept forming in his mind.

"Do I like him? Did he like me back? Is that why he kissed me too? What does this mean for us? What about the group?"

His thoughts started to jumble and weigh down on his shoulders. He became quieter, more blanked out and mindlessly following Daeyoung or Ryo through their packed schedules.

Even as Sion or Daeyoung tried to talk to him, he shrugged it off and stated it was stress, ignoring the fact that Yushi would be staring at him from afar. He knew he wanted to fix this and he knew that he missed talking to his best friend, but at the same time, he knew that he'd feel hurt if Yushi would end up telling him that they were just friends. That the short moment they shared was just an impulsive act of hormones.

Yushi was also seen dejected as he clung to Sion for emotional support and barely interacted with the others. He didn't even take the time to tease Sakuya as he usually did.

In the end, Sion was the one who had to do something by the end of the second week. The team's dynamics were slowly falling apart with Yushi and Riku not communicating with each other, and the maknaes were also having their own weird fight. He couldn't even get an explanation since Sakuya was completely confused about their fight and Ryo refused to say what's wrong.

It was Daeyoung that suggested to deal with the easiest problem first.

"Are you sure they're the easier problem?" Sion laughed nervously. "Riku doesn't even want to look at him. At least Ryo hasn't done that to Sakuya yet."

"Yes, it is hyung," Daeyoung told him, holding his hand. "He's probably just embarrassed about the whole thing and you know Yushi isn't the type to say what's in his mind right away. You're good at making him open up."

"I know but…it feels like a lover's quarrel I'm fixing," Sion laughed again. "Plus, what makes you think I'll have better luck than you?" Sion teased.

"You've known them longer," Daeyoung reasoned. "And maybe having your approval will make it easier for them to openly like each other. They won't need to worry that we'll disapprove if the leader already approves."

Sion stared at him, almost surprised by his choice of words, but also feeling happy that his precious dongsaeng is growing up well.

"Alright, alright. I'll take them out. What will you do for dinner then?" He finally conceded.

"We'll order some take out. You can do it, hyung." Daeyoung raised his arms and made a gesture to indicate 'fighting'.

Sion laughed loudly at the gesture.

At that point, Riku entered the living room, froze when he saw Yushi, and took a long detour around the living room instead of passing by Yushi to get to the kitchen. His action caused Yushi to frown and the younger flopped down into the couch, in his depressed state.

Sion could only withhold his sigh as he put on his brave smile.

"Yushi, let's go get ramen outside," Sion told him, causing the younger one to look up at him. "Riku, come with us."

"Oh, um, I'll just make…"

"Nope! We're all going out for dinner tonight," Sion insisted, using his leader's tone. "No excuses. Now go change, both of you."

"We're going out for dinner?" Sakuya asked, surprising Sion.

"The hyung line is just going to the convenience store for dinner," Daeyoung explained to Sakuya. "While we're doing take out at home."

"Doesn't that mean we get the better deal?" Ryo asked, scrutinizing tonight's plan.

"Yep," Sion confirmed. "I just miss eating there. It's been a long time since I've spent time with Riku and Yushi alone, and we won't be able to go to convenience stores easily when we're famous, right?"

"When is our turn?" Sakuya asked, as if he's being left out on purpose.

"Tomorrow," Daeyoung laughed nervously. "Let them have their fun and we'll have ours here."

"Alright," Sakuya pouted while Ryo stared at him with an exasperated expression.

"I'm ready," Yushi told Sion quietly, playing with his sleeve.

Riku was also ready, standing in the doorway, quietly, waiting for Sion.

Sion sighed internally at the sight of two awkward cats and led them outside.

As they walked to the convenience store, Sion tried to fill up the silence with random questions towards both of them. Though they seemed fine towards him, they were both still not interacting towards each other and made the environment more awkward for Sion.

When they finally arrived at the convenience store, Yushi looked for his favorite ramen cup while Riku looked through the fresh food section. Sion took this time to reorganize his thoughts on how to make them talk.

The opportunity to carry out his plan came when they sat outside the convenience store. Yushi was still eating his ramen while Riku had finished his triangle kimbaps and was now going through his second bag of jellies.

Sion was sitting still, wondering how to start the conversation when an idea popped into his mind.

"Riku! Your hand is cold!" Sion randomly exclaimed as he took Riku's right hand into his hands.

"It is?" Riku asked in confusion.

Yushi looked up from his ramen, wondering what happened.

Before he could figure out what happened, Sion took Yushi's left hand and connected it to Riku's.

"Yushi, you have to warm it up!" Sion told him exaggeratedly. He purposely put their hands together and didn't let Riku pull away from the touch. "Don't let Riku suffer. You have to help him," Sion said teasingly to break the ice.

He didn't expect Yushi to take his words seriously. He watched as Yushi moved his right hand from his ramen cup, swatted Sion's hands away and covered Riku's hand inside his. Sion could only stare at their conjoined hands as Yushi slowly rubbed Riku's hand to create some warmth.

"Is it better now?" Yushi asked him quietly, his eyes gazed at their hands before looking up at Riku's eyes.

Riku stared back at him, frozen in his chair, but his heart was melting at the sight of Yushi tending to him.

Sion suddenly realized his role was complete at this moment as he hurriedly muttered some excuse and ran back inside the store, pretending to get another coffee.

Riku could only nod in reply as they both sat silently. He didn't expect Yushi to do this, and he also didn't expect Yushi to intertwine their fingers in the next second.

"Are you still mad at me?" Yushi broke the silence first with a question that had been haunting him since the first day Riku ignored him.

"No," Riku replied without hesitation. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"So, we're okay?" Yushi asked nervously, eyes peeking at Riku's expression.

Riku looked back at him, a thousand of emotions built up inside him, and the urge to tell Yushi that he had fallen for him was getting stronger by the minute.

It was at the tip of his tongue, to spill out his darkest secret. But he was too immersed in his thoughts that Yushi felt impatient.

"I don't like it," Yushi continued. "I don't like that you're not telling me what's wrong. I thought we're supposed to be best friends."

The word 'best friends' stung Riku's heart deeply and he felt himself cowering from the rejection. He tried to pull his hand away from Yushi's, to get away from the pain, but Yushi refused to let go.

"Why can't you tell me what's wrong?" Yushi asked in his sad tone, not dropping the topic.

"I don't want to be your friend," Riku blurted out his feelings, unable to hold it any longer. He could feel Yushi's hands slowly losing their grip. He looked up courageously and felt himself falter when Yushi stared back at him with the most dejected expression. 

"I don't want to be just friends," he clarified. "I want to be the only one taking care of you."

Yushi's expression changed slightly and Riku didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. He just knew that he couldn't keep this in anymore. He didn't like how Yushi stayed quiet after his confession.

"It's weird isn't it?" He said with a sigh. "It's fine, forget it. I just…"

"You proposed already," Yushi interrupted his rambling. "I thought we're supposed to take care of each other."

"N..no! This is different…"

"I want you to take care of me. I don't want anyone else to do that."

Riku's heart squeezed at those words.

"It's not just that anymore. I want to be selfish and monopolize you. I never want to share you again, even with Sion," he said in a frustrated tone, squeezing Yushi's hand.

There's a quiet moment of silence before Yushi spoke again.

"Okay," he said softly, agreeing so easily.

Riku was still not sure if Yushi actually understood what he meant. Maybe the younger one was just being empathetic.

Yushi finally stood up, completely forgetting his unfinished ramen. Despite their hands still intertwined, Yushi managed to slide in beside Riku, seated close to the elder.

He leaned against Riku's body for comfort, finally feeling relaxed after days of tension. Riku took in the warmth and relaxed beside him.

The next few minutes passed by in silence as Yushi gestured to Riku to feed him jellies while Riku asked Yushi to do the same thing.

By the time Sion returned, the elder looked all smiley as he watched his two closest friends behave lovingly towards each other.

They proceeded to head home together with a bag full of snacks. Yushi was still glued to Riku's side, hands intertwined, while Sion walked beside Riku. 

"I'm so glad you guys are talking again," Sion admitted. "I really needed you guys to help with the group."

"Sorry…" Riku sheepishly apologized, knowing he was more moody the past few days.

"You guys can finally help me figure out what's wrong with the maknaes. Ryo has been petty about something and Sakuya is just clueless on why."

"They're fighting?" Yushi asked Riku quietly.

"Yeah, it looked like it," Riku told him before facing Sion again. "What do you think happened?"

"Not sure. I just know it happened right after you guys kissed. Plus, I still haven't explained to Sakuya why I told him to not kiss someone."

"Why did you say that anyway?" Yushi asked curiously.

"He was curious about it. He said he wanted to kiss someone in the group and asked how to do it. I panicked! I told him he couldn't do that to a member."

"Oh, then does that mean he likes one of us?"

"Probably, I just didn't ask who."

"What if it's you?" Riku asked teasingly.

"Nah," Sion laughed loudly. "Maybe it's Yushi," he teased the couple.

"I'd have to put some sense back into him…" Yushi muttered, causing Sion to laugh even more and Riku to chuckle at his reply.

"Maybe he likes me," Riku said jokingly. "I am irresistibly handsome."

Yushi frowned at the suggestion, squeezing Riku's hand to indicate his dislike. Sion laughed after hearing Riku's suggestion.

"I'll talk to Sakuya and let him down gently…" Riku started to say.

"No," Yushi said firmly, not liking the idea at all. He frowned at Riku, almost wanting to stomp his foot childishly.

"It's alright Riku. I'll talk to Sakuya with Daeyoung. It'll be easier for him since we won't tease him. Instead, you should talk to Ryo."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you guys have a special bond. Plus Ryo would rather tease Daeyoung than admit what's wrong lately."

"Okay sure," Riku told him before looking at Yushi, sending him a cute closed eye smile.

Yushi smiled in reaction and leaned closer to his side.

Chapter Text

There's something warm and heavy pressing against his body. And a leg is dangerously close to his lower region. Another centimeter and that person would be able to feel up his morning erection. Riku moves his body slowly, trying to remember what happened last night because there's someone beside him.

As he slowly wakes up, his memory starts to return like a movie running in his mind. Yushi was clinging to his side as they returned from a late schedule. Ryo was running to invade Sakuya's bed while Sakuya's loud voice telling him to stop. He remembered Sion's loud laughter and Jaehee embracing Sion in tiredness. Riku remembered wanting to shower and telling Yushi to go to sleep first, but the younger pouted and stared at him with those eyes. The kind that made him feel a little weak in the knees and more smitten than he should be feeling right now.

"I don't wanna," Yushi whispered to him, seductively enough that Riku wished they were alone tonight

"W..we have that schedule tomorrow…" Riku weakly defended himself despite feeling every wall crumbling inside of him. "I...I have to shower, you know…" he said as his final defense.

Yushi stared at him for a long time. Long enough that Sion had to awkwardly laugh at them for standing still in the living room.

"Okay," Yushi simply stated and walked off to his room.

At that moment, Riku wondered if he just screwed up their very fresh, yet loving relationship. He couldn't dwell on it though. He had to shower and sleep because he still needed at least 6 hours of sleep, though it was more like 4 hours by now.

So he tried not to think about the mistake he made, where he basically rejected his clingy and desperate boyfriend. Instead, he just showered fast, ignored the sadness in his heart and did his skincare routine as fast as he could.

He was going to sleep it off and not think about it. That was his plan for now. He would let the Riku of tomorrow deal with this heartache.

It's okay. Yushi wouldn't break up with me…it's not like he'd get mad over this one thing, right? Wait, did we even agree to be boyfriends before? Fuck, stop it Maeda. You have work tomorrow, don't do this right now…

Riku kept replaying those words in his head, barely paying attention to his surroundings or the fact that Sion isn't even in the room.

He was about to climb into the bed when he saw him. His pretty, beautiful, ethereal, perfect boyfriend who decided to climb into his bed without warning and laid there. He was wearing the most oversized shirt and no pants and Riku just wanted to eat him up, literally.

"Yushi…" he could only breathe out as he stared at the pretty present.

"Rikuuu," Yushi drawled in his quiet and breathy tone, arms reaching out as if he wanted Riku to join him, now , instead of 5 minutes later. "Come."

It felt like such a demand and a bossy order. One that Riku would wholeheartedly follow like the simp he is. 

"I..uh..wh..why are you here?" Riku asked, gaze flicking to Sion's empty bed, worried the elder will return soon. "We shouldn't….I mean… why ?"

He wanted to ask why Yushi is being such a tease. And why he can't control himself from wanting to jump onto Yushi, and possibly ruining the younger's innocence. He wanted to greedily take all of Yushi's firsts despite not knowing if Yushi has done anything yet with anyone.

Yushi frowned at him, not liking Riku's line of questioning. He didn't expect the elder to hesitate, let alone ask a million questions. So he looked away, wondering if he chose the wrong time to want Riku to hold him. Maybe the elder was really tired and he's just pushing Riku to soothe his loneliness.

"Sorry…" Yushi muttered, feeling bad and wanted to hide in embarrassment. He made a move to leave the bed, but Riku placed his hand on his shoulder. 

"Wait," Riku stopped him, noticing Yushi's reaction to his questions. The way the younger's happy expression disappeared and the way the younger looked sad. He didn't want to be the cause of that. "I didn't say you should go. I just mean…Sion is gonna get mad if we make noises."

"Noises?" Yushi looked at him confused.

Riku opened his mouth to explain but realized that he shouldn't have expected Yushi to want something sexual from him. He should have known that the younger is way too innocent to want something like that .

"I mean, we shouldn't move too much in bed. We should cuddle and sleep," Riku lamely explained in the end.

Yushi made an 'o' expression and nodded. He shyly gestured to Riku to come closer and the elder agreed.

Riku let himself be pulled into Yushi's embrace. He wrapped his arms around Yushi's waist and nuzzled his face into Yushi's neck. The familiar scent and warmth made it easier for Riku to melt into the embrace.

"Riku," Yushi whispered. "I didn't get my goodnight kiss yet."

Riku groaned internally at the request, rubbing his face against Yushi's neck before lifting his face up to see Yushi's gaze.

He wanted to move up so they could kiss properly, but instead Yushi cupped his cheek and bent down. He could feel Yushi's lips against his, soft and it was barely a peck. He didn't like how short it was so he lifted his body up from the bed and pushed Yushi down, surprising the younger.

I'm not gonna let our goodnight kiss end like this…

That was the only thought he had before he leaned down and kissed him. There's more firmness this time and his tongue swept Yushi's lips teasingly. He didn't think Yushi would retaliate so he was surprised when Yushi licked back.

Their kiss deepened and Riku could feel his body starting to react. A part of his mind was telling him to stop, but the devil in his heart was telling him to get more. Everything felt alive, and all of his longings and desires were pushing out of him into that kiss.

Yushi was the first to push him away, completely breathless, but looked so fucking ethereal with how turned on his eyes looked. Riku thought his willpower would dissolve if Yushi would tell him to take him now.

Instead, Yushi placed his hands on Riku's bare chest and licked his lips. They faced each other while laying down.

"I don't…" Yushi started to say, but didn't know what to say. His body felt like it was burning with desires but he also didn't know what he wanted at this time. He had never wanted someone as he wanted Riku at this moment. So he looked at Riku for guidance on the meaning of all this.

Riku realized it too, that he was the one leading this relationship. Whether they're boyfriends or simply lovers, he couldn't force Yushi to feel everything in one night.

"Sorry," he ended up saying. He grabbed Yushi's hand and kissed its palm lightly. "I got carried away."

"It's okay," Yushi whispered back before scooting closer to Riku's warmth. His face is now only an inch away from Riku's. "I'm sorry too…for wanting to sleep with you. I missed you."

Riku's heart clenched at the confession.

"You saw me the whole day…"

"Not like this. Not being able to hold you like this," Yushi told him, coming closer even more.

"I don't want you to get bored of my face…"

Or me…

"I wouldn't," Yushi whispered. "I could never get bored of you, especially you."

"Fuck…" Riku breathed out before extending his arms and pulling Yushi even closer. He closed his eyes as Yushi nuzzled into his neck. "You better not regret those words, Tokuno."

"Hmm, Maeda."

Riku thought he was just saying his last name as he slowly drifted to sleep.

"It's Maeda, not Tokuno," Yushi whispered in the end before passing out.

Chapter Text

The days pass by quickly and Riku still hasn't gotten an answer to the burning question in his mind.

What are we?

It was easy to assume the worst and say they're friends with benefits, or even a fling that will slowly have its fire burn out. It's also easy to assume that they're just friends who happen to kiss sometimes. 

All of those scenarios have Riku wanting to climb into bed and be depressed for days on. But he can't, because he's an idol that has to smile through everything, even when he's fucking exhausted and just want to sleep for 8 hours.

So he goes through his days with a fake smile, and sometimes when he's too tired, Yushi is somehow magically there to hug him. And there are days where the younger would show up in his bed uninvited and Riku drinks in Yushi's love as if he's been craving it for days. Those are his best days, the ones he loves the most.

It also helps that the group is pretty understanding of their so-called relationship. The only rule that they all agreed on was no kissing publicly, even when they're outside inside their car. There's even a certain pouch that Sakuya uses to collect penalty fees if he or Yushi is caught kissing the other. Somehow, the rule makes kissing a bit fun for Yushi. The younger likes to think the rule doesn't exist if no one can see them kiss.

It makes kissing in the waiting room, or even in the bathroom feel so enthralling and exciting. Riku wouldn't usually condone this kind of behavior, but he's so unequivocally in love with Yushi that he looks past all of his bad behaviors.

Despite all of Yushi's loving actions, Riku still wants them to have a label. He just doesn't know if he should risk asking Yushi. He hopes that he wasn't wrong about his assumption, that they've been dating for weeks, but there's still the nagging feeling that he's just imagining things like the hopeless romantic he is.

So for the sake of feeling less stressed, he made a deadline. Today is going to be the day. Even if he had to kick all of the members out of the dorm, he was going to ask Yushi in person and possibly beg at him to not reject him.

The plan seems simple since today is a rather straightforward day. They're attending an award show so everyone is in a good mood. Riku is hyping himself up, quietly muttering to himself as he prepares to ask Yushi. The other members are huddling up in the corner, talking about something.

A stylist stops Riku from approaching them and starts fixing his clothes. Riku watches from afar as Sion and Daeyoung fight over Ryo, asking him to choose between them. Ryo doesn't seem to care as he chooses himself. Sion pouts at the answer and turns to Yushi.

"What about me? Who do I belong to?" Sion asks jokingly to Yushi.

"Me," Yushi replies so easily and makes a kissy face.

It's just a joke. Riku knows this better than anyone else. He's been joking about marrying fans for days and Yushi doesn't even care. But he'd be lying if that joke didn't stab his heart, twist it cruelly and left it inside his bleeding heart.

"Oh, Riku is jealous," Ryo is the first to notice his expression.

"Definitely jealous," Daeyoung agrees.

"I'm jealous," Riku says bitterly with a fake laugh, unable to put an ounce of real laughter into his sentence.

There's jealousy, anger and sadness swirling inside him, and he's withholding all of that as the stylist finishes preparing him. The atmosphere should have stayed funny, but Riku couldn't even enjoy the joke for a second. So he walks away, and doesn't bother looking back.

Daeyoung is the first to approach him as Riku sits away from the group. He hugs him and Riku allows that comfort to seep in.

"Hyung, you okay?" Daeyoung asks him.

"Hm," Riku can only answer.

"You still haven't asked him, right? Are you worried about that?"

"Should I even bother asking that?" Riku asks bitterly, unable to withhold his disdain as he watches Yushi and Sion play together.

"You should! Come on hyung. I'll distract Sion hyung later and you can ask."

Riku can only sigh loudly and nod. He catches Yushi's eyes for a second and looks away.

Unbeknownst to Riku, Yushi frowns and wonders if he did something wrong.

The schedule ends up lasting quite long. They meet with other kpop groups and introduce themselves. They do dance challenges to promote their songs and it gets tiring after a while.

At one point, Riku watches with tired eyes as Yushi interacts with someone from a different group. He notices that Yushi isn't shy towards the person, like he usually is.

"Apparently he was an SM trainee," Ryo comments as he stands beside him.

Riku nods in acknowledgement. He doesn't particularly care about that person's past. He just wants to go back to being moody but then he hears a surprising sentence.

"I still can't believe you guys finally debuted. Kyungmin was so glad, you know. He's like your biggest fan, always talking about you," Soobin teases his member as he talks to Yushi.

Sion laughs at the confession while Kyungmin tries to make his member shut up.

"Me?" Yushi asks in surprise.

"Yeah! He's so in love with you. He practically bought your PC the other day."

"I didn't! I bought their album…that's different," Kyungmin defends himself.

"Anyway, you guys should trade numbers so he can talk to you instead of me," Soobin says as he rolls his eyes.

Sion laughs at the request, but still kindly asks if Yushi would agree to that.

"Phone number? Sure."

"Thank god," Soobin mutters as Kyungmin shyly hands his phone.

Riku frowns even more as he watches them trade numbers. He doesn't like the idea of sharing Yushi with more people, especially ones who worship Yushi too, but technically he can't act jealous since he's probably just some guy Yushi likes to kiss sometimes. He begrudgingly hates his life.

"You guys should meet up too. Like go see a movie or something just the two of you," Soobin adds with a smirk.

"Ahhh, I'm not sure…" Sion tries to explain, but stops when Yushi interrupts him.

"Sure."

Sion looks at Yushi in surprise, wondering why Yushi would agree to this hypothetical date. He looks at Riku, who looks more upset about this than everyone else.

At that point, Riku doesn't want to pretend anymore. He's sick of withholding his emotions so he excuses himself without saying a word. Daeyoung wants to go after him but Ryo stops him.

"That's great! See, I got you a date," Soobin tells Kyungmin, nudging him teasingly.

"Date?" Yushi asks, confused. "Oh, I thought you just wanted to hang out. I can't date."

"Oh…right…because of your company…"

"I'm engaged," Yushi tells them as if he's talking about the weather.

At that moment, everyone reacted in their own way, some laugh while others stare at him, thinking he went crazy.

"He's a funny guy, right?" Sion tells them with a nervous laugh.

Yushi stares at Sion, wondering why his hyung thought he was joking. He was being serious. Riku is his fiancé. They agreed on that, when they sat in front of that convenience store. They've proposed to each other. To Yushi, that was one of his most important moments.

"Anyway, Yushi, I think you should head back to the dressing room. Riku was looking for you," Sion gently pulled Yushi away from the crowd.

Yushi looks at Sion, trying to understand the meaning, and he sees the elder is being serious about this. So he nods and says his goodbye.

Yushi walks to the dressing room with a lot of confusion in his mind. He wonders why Riku is waiting there and he wonders if Riku is alright. The elder was avoiding him, he knew that, but he didn't understand why. It wasn't as bad as last time, where they practically didn't talk, but it still hurt when Riku would look away purposely, avoiding his gaze. He wonders what happened that caused Riku to be upset with him.

As he thinks about it, he opens the dressing room and notices Riku with a napkin in his hand. He's sniffling and…

Oh…

Yushi closes the door and approaches Riku.

Riku looks surprised as he sees Yushi standing in front of him. His eyes are still throbbing from crying and he just blew his nose. He probably looks ugly as hell and Yushi will probably think he's gross or something.

"Riku..." Yushi whispers and reaches out to touch his face. There's still a tear in the corner of Riku's eye and he wipes it off gently. "What's wrong? What happened?"

There's a million things Riku could say or deny but at that point, he could only feel anger inside him.

"Were you just lying that day? When you said I didn't need to share you?" Riku glares at him from his chair before deciding to stand up, causing Yushi to step back. "I was serious that day. I was serious about us ."

Riku grabs Yushi's arms in frustration.

"I told you that I hated sharing you and today you were just…" Riku wanted to yell and be more mad, but he couldn't. Even when he wanted to curse at Yushi, his overwhelming feelings to protect and love Yushi had always been much more. He'll always love him, no matter how much Yushi pushes him away. "If you're not serious about this, then say it," Riku ends up saying softly in the end. "I hate this. I hate that I get jealous so easily, while you're fine if I flirt with anyone. I feel like you won't even care if I kiss someone else…"

"I do!" Yushi yells in frustration, tears starting to form in the edges of his eyes. "I don't want you kissing anyone else."

"... that's all? That's all you're upset about?"

"No, I…" Yushi struggles to express the emotions in his heart.

He's not like Riku, who can be passionate and loving whenever he wants. He knows he's lacking in that and he realizes that he sucks at this so-called relationship. He's been hurting his Riku for so long and he didn't even notice it until Riku had to spell it out.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly as he reaches out to grab Riku's sleeve. "I'm not good at this and I'll keep messing up, but don't leave me. You can't…"

"What am I then?" Riku asks in a hopeful tone. "Am I just an indispensable friend?"

Yushi shakes his head. 

"Do you like me?"

"Of course," Yushi nods his head shyly. "I like you."

"How much?" Riku knows he's pushing it, but seeing Yushi in his shy and soft stage is making his heart melt even more. "Am I better than bubble tea?"

"Yes," Yushi confirms. "You're better than ramen."

Riku's heart thumps on that confession. He grabs Yushi's hand in his bravery.

"What are we then?" He finally asks the important question. "Are we dating? Am I…your boyfriend?" he asks with a nervous tone while looking down at their intertwined hands.

"Boyfriend? No…"

Riku's heart fell at the rejection. 

I knew it. Why the fuck did I ask such a stupid question…

"You're my fiancé," Yushi says as it's the most obvious thing in the world and Riku raises his head so fast that he almost broke his neck.

"Huh?! Wait…fiancé?! But…"

Yushi shrinks at the reaction, wondering if he messed up again.

"Am I wrong?"

"No, I mean yes, no wait, why fiancé? When did we get engaged?" Riku asks in a rush, feeling completely overwhelmed, excitingly happy, but also baffled.

"You proposed…" Yushi drawls as if he's explaining to a kid. "I said yes…"

"Right. I did…" Riku realizes with a wide smile.

"Am I wrong?"

"Nope. You're totally right, babe," Riku grins before pulling him into a hug and holding him tight. "You're mine. Forever," Riku whispers to him, as if echoing a promise from his heart.

Yushi nods against his shirt and hugs him back.

"Am I forgiven?" Yushi dares to ask in their moment.

Riku hums before pulling back a little so he can kiss Yushi. It's a short one, but it holds all the promises of a better future.

On the way back home, the cat couple sits next to each other, a little closer than before. If Sion notices, he doesn't comment on it as he plays a game on his phone.

There's only the three of them in the van since the maknaes are in a different van so the car is quieter than usual. 

Riku stares outside the window as the car drives slowly to the dorm. His hand is intertwined with Yushi and Yushi is leaning against him.

"Riku," Yushi beckons quietly.

Riku hums in response and waits for Yushi to say more, but the younger one doesn't. So he turns to look at him. Yushi looks worried about something, he's licking his lips in anxiety.

Riku is about to ask what's wrong, but Yushi interrupts him.

"The moon…it's really pretty today," he tells him in a shy tone.

Riku stares at him, speechless and happy at the same time. He doesn't even notice Sion has stopped his game to turn around and gasp at Yushi's confession.

"Yeah…the moon is really pretty," Riku finally replies back with a shy smile. He feels Yushi squeeze his hand in response.

He can't wait to be back in the dorm again, where he can kiss Yushi as much as he wants.

Chapter Text

They're in Yushi's room this time, without supervision. Their fourth month anniversary passed a week before their comeback so they didn't get a chance to celebrate it longer than that one night. Whenever they have official schedules, Yushi is under contractual obligations to be skinship friendly with Sion, so it's been too long since he actually held Riku's hand for longer than 5 minutes.

Of course, they had their cuddle nights, their short make out sessions and their sleepy mornings. But all Yushi craves now is just Riku's attention. All of it. Which is why he's facing Riku as they both sit in his bed. Somehow they end up talking about the most random thing, the other's favorite body part.

"I like this hand the most," Riku tells him as he gently holds Yushi's right hand and taps the index finger. "This finger likes to poke my cheek."

Riku lifts the hand up and kisses the fingers, as if Yushi is a princess.

Yushi curls in embarrassment but smiles softly at the compliment.

"Shouldn't you like my eyes or my voice or something?" Yushi asks him shyly.

"That's such an obvious answer though," Riku chuckles in a soft tone. "I wanted to pick something that you wouldn't expect. I love kissing your hand or holding it because I could never get bored of doing it."

Yushi squirms and looks away, embarrassed. Riku can only laugh at his reaction before calling him the cutest thing ever. He pulls him closer, as if inviting him into Riku's lap.

So Yushi climbs into it, straddling his lap, and rests his temple on Riku's shoulder.

"What about me? What's your favorite body part of mine?" Riku asks him, fingers pressed lightly against his waist.

"Hmm…"

Yushi takes a while to think about it. He thinks he likes everything about Riku. He loves the fact that the elder gets hot easily and needs a fan to cool himself. He loves how pretty his neck looks today. And he loves Riku's lips, not only for the obvious reasons, but also how Riku can be so expressive by just pursing his lips or when he grins widely, or by looking attractive even when he's not smiling.

"Do I have to choose?" Yushi ends up saying.

"Why? Am I too handsome to pick apart?" Riku teases as he slowly grabs Yushi's left hand, kissing the fingers too.

"... it's hard," Yushi admits.

"Then you should apologize. You should kiss every body part that you like," Riku jokes.

Of course, Yushi thinks of it as a challenge. So he kisses his jaw, then moves to his cheek, purposely kissing where his dimple would show up.

Riku giggles at the sensation and is about to tell him he was joking, but Yushi cups his face and faces it towards him.

He stares at Riku's lips and he suddenly thinks he wants to kiss them. But Riku's gaze is intense. They stare at him, as if he's analyzing every inch of Yushi. It scares him to feel that exposed, but at the same time, he likes it. He likes how Riku can read him well, and that he can rest on Riku when he's too tired to pretend.

It's then that he realizes it. He knows what he loves the most.

"Your eyes," Yushi whispers as they hold their gazes.

Riku raises an eyebrow.

"I love your eyes," he says again, shy but more firm than before.

Riku smiles at him, with that soft smile that makes Yushi's heart clench in happiness.

"Then you have to kiss them. So they feel your love," he teases before closing his eyes.

Yushi pouts at the request but he's not against it. So he lifts himself up to his knees and hovers above Riku. He cups his chin and tilts the head upward gently. With his thumb, he caressed the eye before placing a gentle kiss on it. Then he repeats the same to the other eye.

Riku hums at the sensation before tapping his lips.

Yushi blushes lightly at the request, but he complies.

At first, it's just a peck between them. But Riku's hand somehow holds his nape, and he chases after Yushi's lips. He claims it so easily, tongue licking the lower lips and gently slipping in. He's a pro now in making Yushi pliable in his arms.

It's a sensation that Yushi is still getting used to, so he's distracted and he doesn't realize that Riku is making him lay down until he feels his head hit the bed. Then he feels firm hands gripping his hips.

Yushi thinks he can stay in this position forever, but fate has a different plan as the door flies open and Sion storms in without knocking.

"Fuck, sorry," Sion immediately walks out after seeing them.

But the moment is ruined because Riku is embarrassed and is now sitting upright, breathless. Meanwhile, Yushi looks up from the bed, staring at him, breathless too, but mesmerized. His Riku looks so appetizing . He doesn't want anyone else to see this side of Riku, not even the fans.

He suddenly realizes how possessive he sounds at that moment.

"Sorry," Riku apologizes with his cute smile. "Let's calm down, okay?" He's patting Yushi's thigh.

Yushi pouts at the idea, completely hating the fact that they can't enjoy their day off with lots of kissing.

Riku seems to find his expression funny as he pulls Yushi up to sit. He kisses Yushi's shoulder and slowly leaves a trail of kisses up his neck and one last one to his ear. Each one of his kisses is making Yushi shiver in delight.

"Soon, I promise," Riku whispers into his ear. Yushi blushes at his words and tries to not to think about it or he'd never calm down.

Chapter Text

"It makes your lips shiny," Sakuya says as he looks in the mirror. The makeup artist just put on some shiny lip gloss on his lips.

"Yep," Ryo replies while leaning a little close. "It makes them look enticing, like someone would want to kiss them."

Sakuya widens his eyes in panic and pushes Ryo off. Ryo seems to think his teasing worked so he laughs loudly. He follows Sakuya as the younger tries to get away from Ryo's possibly evil plan.

Meanwhile, Yushi, who happens to hear their conversation nearby, begins to wonder.

Shiny enough to make someone want to kiss me? Is that true?

He figures he can't really make a conclusion if he's not using the product yet. Then he needs to see if anyone will try to kiss him after using it. So he decides to ask the makeup artist for the same lip gloss, and hopes that his sneaky plan will work.

The plan is relatively simple because there's only one member he actually wants to kiss, but he knows that it'll be a tough battle against Riku. Mostly because Yushi knows that backstage time is when Riku ignores distractions and focuses on last minute rehearsal so Yushi knows to not bother him, but most of all, Riku only kisses him when they're in the dorm, away from the public eyes. So Yushi thinks this will be a fun experiment to see if Riku will abandon his usual rules and go for his desires. Plus, it's not like Riku will actually get mad at him for being a tease.

The game starts when they're backstage, waiting to be called into the shooting area. They're filming a Japanese show and most of the members are just chilling, entertaining themselves.

At one point, a manager gives Yushi a camera and asks him to record some moments with the members, and the first victim he has in mind is Riku.

Riku looks at him wary as Yushi approaches him.

"It's for footage," Yushi tells him as Riku asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Ah, sure," Riku says, his eyes gazing softly at Yushi's eyes. 

And then he sees it, as his eyes travel lower, the small glitter on Yushi's bottom lips. And the fact that it looks more shiny than usual. He knows that if he keeps staring at it, he'll want to lean in and kiss Yushi.

Nope, not good.

So he looks away, abruptly, almost too sudden that it looks like he's twitching.

"How are you feeling?" Yushi asks him as the camera records.

"I'm feeling quite excited," Riku says and his mouth works by default while his eyes keep glancing to the other side. He's avoiding staring at Yushi, as if he's scared he'll end up falling into temptation.

"Do you have any expectations or wishes for this show?" Yushi asks, noticing Riku's uncomfortable stance and the way the elder keeps looking to the side.

Yushi purses his lips, feeling a little sad that Riku is barely looking at him. So he comes a little closer, causing Riku to glance at him momentarily. They stare at each other for a brief second before Riku is back to avoiding his gaze.

"My wish is that…" Yushi can hear Riku give a perfect answer, but he's already sad that Riku is not looking at him.

He wonders if Riku doesn't like the color of the lip gloss or if the elder finds it off putting. After all, lip gloss is more for women than for men, even if they're idols. He feels slightly dejected.

So once their mini interview is done, he hands the camera to Riku, who looks confused by Yushi's action.

"You can interview Sion," he simply says before walking away, causing Riku to wonder what happened.

It's only after his interview with Sion that Riku goes looking after Yushi. He has a feeling that he somehow offended Yushi during the interview, probably because he keeps looking away from the younger. He should have known better, that Yushi can be sensitive too, and he should have been nicer about it.

That damn lip gloss. Who told him to wear it?? – Riku thinks as he searches for Yushi.

He ends up finding Yushi alone, sitting in a chair, quietly looking at his phone. A rare sight since Yushi is always hyper and happy when he's backstage.

He stands in front of him, waiting for Yushi to notice him.

Yushi looks up at him with a rather sorrowful expression, causing Riku to feel more guilty.

"Are you okay?" He asks quietly.

Yushi looks away, stubbornly not wanting to answer, despite pouting his lips like a little kid. It somehow accentuates the darn shiny lips that Riku was avoiding. So he withholds his frustrated sigh and tries again.

"Let's talk somewhere else," he ends up saying.

He can't focus here, where there are people watching them, and where his willpower is starting to dissolve with every second. He needs to hide momentarily with Yushi.

"Let's go to the bathroom," Riku ends up telling him, causing Yushi to look confused.

"Now?" The younger asks and Riku nods.

Luckily, the bathroom is a small one with only two stalls and the main door has a lock. Riku checks the two stalls quickly before going back to the main door, locking it quickly.

Yushi watches his behavior, surprised by Riku's actions and waits for the elder to tell him what's wrong. He only knows that Riku wants to talk and that they end up going here for privacy.

What he doesn't expect is Riku walking up to him, forcing him to walk backward until his back is pressed lightly against the wall. Yushi looks at him with momentary shock before he sees it. Riku's eyes turn slightly darker and the tiny glimpse of the elder's tongue as he licks his own lips. Yushi finally understands.

Oh.

Riku leans in and kisses him, lips pressing softly before his tongue is swiping against Yushi's bottom lips, urging Yushi to open his mouth. Their lips glide against each other as Riku's tongue slips in and Yushi braces himself as he holds onto Riku's sleeve, feeling completely overwhelmed. Riku is unrelenting as he takes it all, Yushi's gasp, the taste of his tongue against his, and the way Yushi's body quivers as Riku grabs his ass.

It doesn't even last more than 2 minutes, but Yushi is breathless when Riku pulls away.

The elder is licking his lips again, as if he finishes eating his favorite jelly, and his eyes are still dark, but slowly returning to normal.

"Sorry…I just…you shouldn't be allowed to wear lip gloss," Riku says in a rush, somehow feeling guilty that he kissed and groped his fiancé in the bathroom without consent.

"...you kissed me because of that?" Yushi asks, sounding a little pleased despite not meaning to. Plus he's still overwhelmed from the recent sensations.

"Yeah…," Riku starts to say before noticing Yushi's tiny grin. "Wait…did you do that on purpose?"

"No," Yushi says with a little smirk and Riku immediately knows that it was planned.

"How could you, Yu-chan?" Riku whines. "Don't you know how hard it was not to kiss you?" the elder pouts.

Yushi giggles lightly and smiles wider.

"I just wanted to see if you would…and you did," Yushi takes a step closer to Riku, waiting for him to forgive him. "I'm sorry if it was that painful," he says softly.

"It was," Riku sighs, taking a step closer to take his hand. "I'm sorry too. I made you upset before, during the interview. I kept looking away from you because it was hard for me. If I kept looking at you, I'd have kissed you right there."

"Really?"

The younger one suddenly feels better, knowing the cause of Riku's behavior.

"You think I'd lie about this?"

Yushi shakes his head.

"I just thought you didn't like that I was wearing it."

Riku scoffs at Yushi's reasoning.

"Well, obviously you know that's not true," the elder grins.

"I suppose I should buy one for our dates," Yushi teases.

"....only if you don't wear it for anyone else," Riku says in a rather possessive tone.

Yushi nods while grinning, completely enjoying Riku's jealous side.

They end up leaving the bathroom five minutes later, after fixing their clothes. Somehow, Yushi manages to explain that his lips got ruined from eating spicy food to the makeup artist. And Riku withholds his laugh when he hears that explanation.

Chapter Text

It started with a pair of cat earrings. It was the first pair of earrings that Yushi gave to Riku. It had no meaning other than “it looked funny” to Yushi. Yet, Riku still wore them the next day. From then on, it became a tradition between them. Whatever Yushi gave, Riku would wear it the next day. Whether Riku disliked it or loved it, the elder received it with a wide smile and wore it the next day.

Maybe that's why the habit became a precious moment between them. It was a moment they looked forward to and it was a moment that they ended up treasuring. This gave Yushi a reason to keep finding cute earrings for Riku. Whether it was something tiny like blue swirls or something pretty like a butterfly, Riku’s collection grew over time.

The ones that Riku rarely wore, he gave them to Sakuya or shipped them back to Fukui, because he didn't want to lose the precious memories. And the ones he loved the most, he kept them in a small box and he would bring them with him whenever he traveled. These included the cat earrings that Riku received, something he cherished because it was Yushi's first gift towards him.

And when they started celebrating their dating anniversaries, Riku insisted that he didn't want anything big each month. For Riku, he was sentimental about the little things so they agreed to keep the earrings tradition. So for their first month, Yushi gave him volleyball earrings since the elder used to be a setter. The second month was small dangling hello kitty earrings. The third month was the number 3, because Riku loves that number the most. The fourth month included a request from Riku, a symbol that signified Yushi. Yushi ended up choosing 2 pairs of yellow stars and purple stars. Riku smiled widely in reaction and hugged him, making it one of Yushi's favorite moments.

The fifth month couldn't beat the fourth month, so Yushi just picked something easy, blue studs. Yushi thought Riku would never use it since the color was so bright, but Riku ended up wearing it to match with Yushi’s sudden blue hair. It was a small gesture that made Yushi's heart warm.

By the time the sixth month approaches, Yushi is a bit lost on what to pick for Riku. There are so many schedules going on during June that Yushi barely has the time to think about it. And when he does have time to relax, he prefers spending the day with Riku instead of thinking about it.

But as the day approaches quickly, he finally goes out on his day off to find the present. He's currently staring at a row of earrings in the store and wondering what Riku would like. It's the first time he has felt so lost on picking a gift for Riku since usually Yushi picks whatever he has his eyes on.

Is it because it's our 6th?

Yushi wonders as he keeps spacing out in the store. He ignores the store clerk that keeps looking at him in curiosity. He thinks there must be an easier way to decide so he stares at his phone, thinking if he should call Sion hyung or Ryo because they're usually the problem solvers. 

He's reluctant to do so because he doesn't like the idea of letting someone else choose for him. He wants this gift to be as personal as the time he chose stars for Riku. So he thinks he'll be stuck in this store until closing time, glaring at the earrings for quite some time.

Fortunately, his phone rings and Yushi sees Riku’s name in the caller ID. His heart skips a beat as he stares at the name. A small smile forms on his lips as he answers the call.

“Riku,” Yushi greets him as he answers the call.

“Yu-chan~” Riku replies sweetly. “Where are you?”

“Outside,” Yushi simply says to not ruin the surprise.

“Without me?” Yushi can hear the slight pout in Riku’s tone. “Who are you with then?” This time it changes to a jealous tone.

“No one. I'm alone,” Yushi tells him, withholding the endeared chuckle that threatens to come out. “I'm just shopping, that's all.”

“Ahh,” Riku says with a brighter tone this time. “Then hurry back. はやく会いたい.”

“Mhm. 会いたい,” Yushi says back softly, feeling shy to say it outloud where strangers are beside him.

“Promise?” Riku asks with a slight pout in his tone. “I'm waiting for you.”

“I promise,” Yushi says, blushing slightly.

Riku finally hangs up without saying more and it makes Yushi miss him all of a sudden. It makes him want to go home and give up on searching for a present despite knowing that it should be a priority. Luckily, the sensation of missing Riku and wanting to see the elder gives him an idea. He now knows what he wants to give to the elder.

He ends up leaving the store after realizing that the store doesn't have the kind of earrings he wants. He can't even find them online so he makes a custom order while hoping that the package will arrive on time.

When their anniversary arrives, Yushi is still empty handed and frustrated because he wanted to see Riku’s reaction during the official day. Despite that, Riku doesn't complain about the slip up and consoles him so sweetly that it makes Yushi a little emotional. They end up spending the night in bed, distracted by sensations and touches, but the sadness of not having it ready on time still leaves him a little bitter the next day.

The package finally arrives after two days and Yushi stares at it with so much anger and spitefulness that Sakuya thinks he's trying to burn it with his eyes. He still ends up telling Riku that his present arrived, despite the pout in his lips and the anger boiling in his stomach.

“It did?” Riku asks with a wide smile. “Okay, hold on. Don't give it yet. Come to my room after 10 minutes.”

Yushi stares at him for the longest time before nodding, understanding his request.

He spends the next 10 minutes holding the box in his hands, standing in the hallway and possibly becoming a human obstacle in the hallway.

Ryo takes the chance to play with his hair before walking away to annoy Sakuya again. Meanwhile, Daeyoung comes over to feed him some snacks, thinking Yushi needs the distraction.

“You guys are too cute,” Sion laughs loudly before exiting the room, noticing Yushi standing there, waiting to be summoned. Sion smiles at him wickedly before ruffling his hair.

Yushi glares at him and smacks his hand away gently, causing Sion to laugh even more.

“Remember, no loud noises,” Sion teases them before grabbing Daeyoung into a hug and asking him if he wants to hang out tonight.

Yushi faces the door again and sees Riku standing there with his hand stretched out to beckon him. The younger takes it willingly and lets Riku pull him into the room and the door closes softly behind them.

“It's a bit silly, but we always do silly things together, don't we?” Riku says to him with a soft smile as Yushi sees a blanket on the ground, packs of gummies, bowls of ramen on the blanket, and a small gift bag.

“We never did this together, a picnic in Han river,” Riku squeezes his hand. “So let's do it here…plus, the view isn't bad right?” Riku jokes, making a cute pose in front of Yushi confidently.

Yushi smiles and nods, squeezing his hand back and licking his lips.

“I thought about doing this two days ago, but I wasn't confident enough,” Riku admits.

“Why? This is nice. I like it,” Yushi reassures him

“Yeah? I'm glad. I didn't want you to think it's lame,” Riku grins at him before gesturing to the food in the blanket. “So, which ramen will it be tonight?”

“Do you need to ask?” Yushi smiles and Riku chuckles, bending down to pick Yushi's favorite brand, as well as another kind.

“I'll be back with the ramen. Just sit down and wait for me.”

Yushi nods and squats down before sitting on the blanket, putting the gift to the side. He takes a pillow from Riku's bed and hugs it, a habit that he has developed over time. He grabs a bag of gummy and opens it, taking one piece at a time.

“Water is still boiling,” Riku says as he returns momentarily and notices the opened gummy pack. He crawls to Yushi's side and flops his head on his lap, causing Yushi to place the pillow on the side. Riku makes a gesture to feed him and Yushi does so willingly.

He thinks it's super cute when Yushi makes airplane noises before letting the gummy land on his lips. And he's endeared by the way Yushi rubs his scalp and how the younger gazes on him with full attention. It's one of those nights where they're just lost in each other’s eyes.

“The water is ready!” Ryo yells from the living room, breaking their staring contest.

Riku slowly gets up with an exaggerated groan, excusing himself. Yushi grabs his arm before he can leave. He makes a kissy face and Riku chuckles at him softly.

“Later. After we eat,” Riku promises and Yushi pouts. Riku leaves right after, avoiding Yushi's sad gaze.

The younger grabs the abandoned pillow again and waits for Riku, this time feeling annoyed that they can't kiss yet.

Riku finally returns, bringing one hot cup of ramen at a time. He then closes the door and locks it before sitting down next to Yushi, who's already grabbing the bowl and eating it without asking. Riku starts to eat also, sometimes glancing at Yushi, who stares back at him.

There's only slurping of noodles between them, and a slow, steady sexual tension as their eyes meet occasionally. Riku is used to it by now and can resist himself from kissing Yushi, but Yushi doesn't know how to stop himself yet. The younger is still learning the new emotions he gets from being close to Riku and the sensations he feels whenever Riku touches him.

At one point, they switch bowls and Riku watches in content as Yushi finishes the last bits of noodles.

“Why does it seem like we were that hungry?” Riku chuckles as he takes a napkin and leans in to wipe Yushi's mouth.

Yushi seems to think it's an invitation to kiss as he tries to smooch Riku and the elder laughs loudly, avoiding the sneaky lips. 

“Stop that,” Riku says while laughing. “We have many things to do before we get to the main dessert.”

“...the gummies?” Yushi asks, not getting his meaning.

“No, silly, my lips,” Riku winks as he taps his lips. “But first, you must hold me,” he says before crawling over and sits on Yushi's lap. He leans against Yushi's body, which is firm and stable against his back. He grabs Yushi's arms and wraps it around him. Yushi leans back against the bed frame so they can cuddle more comfortably.

“Oh,” Yushi says softly, taking the hint and wraps his arm around him. “Now what?”

“Let me enjoy this moment for a bit,” Riku says softly before closing his eyes.

Yushi stares down at Riku's handsome face as he holds him. He doesn't move except to randomly tuck away stray hair or to glide his fingers along with Riku’s fingers, intertwining them. He stares at Riku’s earrings for tonight. One of them is a purple star and the second is a regular huggie earring. He smiles brightly knowing that Riku seems to really love the purple star.

The silent stretches between them, with the occasional laughter from Sakuya being heard in the background. The younger one starts to understand the meaning of this moment.

Ahh, it's just us, alone, in our own world

Maybe that's why Yushi decides to lean in and places his head on Riku’s shoulder, enjoying his warmth and scent too. A few minutes passes by before Riku slowly opens his eyes. He shakes his shoulder, causing Yushi to lift his head. The elder looks at Yushi’s eyes with a small smile on his lips and a squeeze to his hand.

“Should we do the gifts now?” The elder asks. “I promised Sion hyung we'd be done by midnight.”

Riku moves from Yushi's lap and faces towards him. Yushi looks at the time and pouts. They only have another 30 minutes.

“We're not doing it tonight?”

Riku snorts in laughter before smiling widely.

“Well, we can always shower together…” he implies with a smirk and Yushi nods, too eagerly, causing Riku to laugh at the younger's excitement.

“So? My present?” Riku teases as he asks.

Yushi grabs it from the side, feeling nervous but also excited.

“It's…different,” Yushi starts to say. “It's not a shape or anything cool like before,” he explains a bit more before handing the box.

Riku looks at the tiny box before looking up at Yushi again. There is curiosity in his mind and the elder is excited to see what it is.

He slowly opens it, as if building up suspense to an invisible audience, before lifting the lid. Inside are a pair of earrings, but both look different. One has the kanji 愛, which means love, while the other has the kanji 会, which means meet.

Another silence falls between them as Riku stares at his gift, speechless and in disbelief.

“愛?” Riku says softly as he looks at it, unable to hold Yushi's gaze during this moment.

Yushi squeezes the fold of his pants and nods.

“愛してる,” he says softly. Riku doesn't even know if it's a confession or Yushi just stating what the kanji means, but he can feel his eyes feeling a little wet.

“Really?” Riku whispers.

“Mhm.”

A hand reaches out and Yushi takes it, holding it and squeezing it.

“大好き” Riku replies back, unable to actually say the real word that's threatening to come out from his throat, 愛してる. He still can't raise his eyes to meet Yushi, knowing he'll end up crying or embarrassed by his confession.

“Do you like it?” Yushi finally asks after a momentarily silence.

“You know I do,” Riku replies after breathing out the heavy happiness that was in his chest. He looks up at Yushi this time, able to hold his gaze this time. “I wonder what the fans will say when I wear this tomorrow,” he teases as he touches the 会 kanji.

“No,” Yushi frowns as he grabs Riku's other hand. “This one is between us. You can't wear this for them or in public.”

Riku widens his eyes in shock.

“But…愛 is a heavier word than 会. They'll know something is up if I wear 愛...”

Yushi shrugs, not caring if fans find out. Which is the exact struggle that Riku has these days, Yushi being completely careless about their dating.

“会いたい is the word I want to hear when I'm only 5 feet away from you. 愛してる is what I'll say when you're tired of everything,” Yushi explains softly, holding his gaze.

“...so you'd rather tell everyone how much you love me than have them know how much I miss you?” Riku asks, smiling at Yushi's sweet words.

“Loving someone is easier than missing someone. You can't miss a friend when they're right next to you.”

Riku grins at that before coming closer, forcing Yushi to lean back against the bed frame again.

“会いたい,” Riku whispers softly before cupping his cheek, kissing him.

It starts with a small peck, and another one, and then Yushi grabs Riku's face and kisses him for a longer time. His tongue slips in and he can feel Riku’s weight on top of him, but he's already lost in the sensation of having Riku to himself. As always.

Touchy fingers play with Yushi's neck and hairline as Yushi's hands caress Riku’s ears, playing with the purple star stud teasingly. By the time Riku pulls away, Yushi still chases after his lips and Riku laughs at him, climbing off with shaky breaths.

“Rikuuuu,” Yushi whines, trying to get him back on his lap as he grabs onto the elder’s shirt.

“Wait,” Riku laughs teasingly. “I also have something for you. Plus, it's almost midnight. We need to clean up before Sion hyung returns.”

Yushi pouts heavily but relents as he watches Riku grab the small bag that was in the center of the messy blanket.

“It's something I'm making you wear next time,” Riku tells him with a grin.

Yushi takes out the shirt from inside the bag.

“Oh, Kuromi,” Yushi comments as he looks at the black shirt with a Kuromi character.

“I have the other one, Melody,” Riku explains while smiling at him. “You wear this for tomorrow’s airport and I'll wear the Melody when we return.”

“Not together?” Yushi pouts.

“One day,” Riku promises him, squeezing his wrist gently. “I'll wear 愛 for tomorrow. You'll have to hold me later when they scold my earring choice.”

“Always,” Yushi reassures him. “You can always wear a green stud on the other ear so they can't complain.”

Riku laughs at his cute logic and pulls the younger one into a happy hug, burrowing his face into Yushi’s hair. Sometimes, he really can't contain the amount of happiness he feels when he's beside Yushi. Today is no different. Being with Yushi means feeling himself being grounded to his own land and having those ugly cracks reform into a beautiful surface. That's how much Yushi influences his heart.

Later on, they clean up and throw out the empty ramen bowls, and the items are put back to where they came from. Riku lies down in his bed, feeling tired, and Yushi squats down beside the bed, waiting to be kicked out by Sion hyung soon. He's staring at Riku's beautiful face as the elder faces him. Riku is already wearing the 愛 earring and Yushi is playing with it, somehow mesmerized by how good it looks on Riku's ear.

“You like it that much?” Riku asks with a happy expression.

“Mhm. It looks pretty.”

Riku takes his hand and kisses it, somehow saying thank you for the compliment.

There's a loud thud as Sion and Daeyoung return from their hangout and they can hear Sion rushing through the living room to get to his room. Riku finds it funny as he chuckles, covering his face in amusement.

“What was the gift?” Sion asks as he immediately spots them by the bed.

“Why are you so excited to see it?” Riku asks, withholding his laughter.

“I have to win the bet,” Sion says with a tiny whine as he comes closer and squats beside Yushi.

“There's a bet? With who??” Riku asks, feeling offended that he wasn't included in it.

“Just between us,” Daeyoung replies as he stands near the door, waiting for permission. Riku beckons him to come in.

At this time, Sion grabs Riku's shoulder to keep him still as he sees Riku's ear.

“Wait, that's 愛? Like 愛してる?” Sion asks with a gasp.

“Wait, really?” Daeyoung comes closer to check it out.

“Damn it. I was so close. I really thought Yushi would choose something related to 好.”

“Wow…” Daeyoung can only say.

“It's pretty right?” Riku grins as he uses his finger to point to the earring.

“What about for the other ear? That's not a new earring,” Daeyoung makes a good observation.

“Yeah, just one 愛. Is this an unrequited love?” Sion teases.

“No,” Yushi adamantly, glaring at Sion.

“The second one is a secret between us. He chose a different kanji,” Riku explains before taking Yushi's hand to reassure his feelings towards him.

“What is it? Just tell me the kanji and I'll stop teasing,” Sion asks in a rather begging manner.

“Tell us who chose what first,” Riku laughs at Sion’s question.

“I chose Shinchan,” Daeyoung says to him. “I thought he'd choose something cute again.”

“Ohh that's a good one,” Riku agrees and Yushi stares blankly, probably distracted in his own thoughts.

“Ryo chose squirrel since he thought Yushi would get the other symbol that signifies you. And Sakuya,” Sion starts to laugh as he remembers Sakuya's choice. “He said Yushi should have gotten you a lip earring.”

“A lip earring?” Riku laughs at the thought. “That's a funny gift.”

Yushi doesn't seem to think so as he shakes his head.

“I actually thought you'd get me a heart, or the symbol infinity,” Riku admits to Yushi.

“...why?” Yushi asks, as if he really doesn't know the meaning of either of the symbols.

Riku can only laugh as he grabs both of Yushi's hands, too used to the younger's quirks.

“So? What's the second earring?”

Riku looks at Yushi, asking him silently if he should tell them. Yushi pouts in reply, as if telling Riku that he should say the word, not him. After all, 会いたい is his promise to Yushi.

“会いたい,” Riku says while holding Yushi's gaze. “はやく会いたい.”

They can hear Sion's loud reaction and Daeyoung's loud giggle, but for Yushi, he's shrinking in happiness, hiding his face into Riku’s bed. It's the kind of happiness that makes Yushi glad that Riku is always here besides him.

Chapter Text

Ryo doesn't remember when he started noticing it. The most recent example he can think of is when he's in the kitchen, rummaging through the freezer for ice cream, and then he hears Yushi-kun coming in with Riku senpai.

“Yu-chan, are you still mad?” Riku teases softly as they enter the house. The door is almost slammed in anger and Yushi doesn't bother saying tadaima, his jealousy is preoccupying his mind. Riku ends up saying the greeting for both of them while making sure the door isn't broken.

“Yu-chan,” Riku takes his wrist and holds it tightly despite Yushi struggling to take it back.

“Let go,” Yushi whispers, his eyes feeling wet and he's trying to hold back his tears.

“I'm sorry,” Riku immediately says, pulling Yushi closer and giving him a back hug, trapping his smaller body inside his big frame. “Don't cry. If you cry, I'll cry and Ryo-chan is going to take pictures for blackmail,” Riku tells him softly, somehow noticing Ryo in the kitchen despite the situation.

“I'm not,” Yushi says softly despite trying to rub his eyes with his sleeve.

“I promise I'll be back in time for your tournament,” Riku tells him as he keeps holding him.

“I don't care about that,” Yushi tells him, sniffling a little. “Just…don't room with Takahashi senpai…”

“Oh…” Riku sounds surprised by Yushi's request.

“Promise?” Yushi turns his body a little towards Riku, gazing at the older boy with slightly puffy eyes. His pinky sticks out as he lifts his arm halfway way up.

“Promise,” Riku says to him with a smile, hooking his pinky with Yushi. “Which senpai can I room with then?”

“Anyone but him,” Yushi simply says before turning around to hug Riku again. He's hiding his face in Riku's shoulder and Riku rubs his head lovingly.

Ryo watches them with curiosity as he wonders when they started dating, or if he just didn't notice their feelings before. He thinks he needs to ask Sakuya when he goes back upstairs.

**

To his surprise, Sakuya seems to think Ryo is wrong and deluded, and Ryo feels offended by his words. Yet, he doesn't argue about it because it's really none of his business if they're dating or not. So the next time he sees the couple, they're having a movie night and Sakuya insists on choosing a boring English documentary. Since it's the youngest turn to choose, they can't complain about the choice. Ryo sits on the floor beside Yushi-kun, and Riku senpai is sitting on Yushi’s right side. Sakuya sits closer to the TV, excited to watch the documentary.

Riku senpai bought food for everyone, and there is also home cooking from Yushi and Sakuya's mom. As the movie starts, Yushi makes a plate for himself, ignoring the beginning of the movie as he focuses on his plate. He's too preoccupied that he doesn't notice Riku's gaze on him or that Ryo is watching them.

Riku’s eyes are soft towards Yushi, watching him intently and doesn't waver, even when the younger looks at him momentarily, signaling him to eat. He doesn't stop staring even when Yushi eats passionately, and he doesn't withhold the unintentional smile that comes out as he watches him. A smile that can be described as beautiful, endeared and emotional, as if Riku's love towards Yushi can be expressed into that one smile.

And that's what Ryo notices when he watches Riku senpai. And that's what he realizes when he finally concludes “Oh… Riku senpai is in love with Yushi.”

He feels redemption for being right, but he wonders why Sakuya doesn't know this fact yet since Yushi is transparent about his feelings like a flimsy piece of paper.

Unfortunately, Sakuya ruins Ryo’s train of thought when the youngest screams. He crawls over and uses Ryo as his shield, despite Ryo being smaller in size.

“Seriously…you chose this movie…” Ryo says as he rolls his eyes towards Sakuya.

“I didn't know it'd be scary!!”

“The title implies it's about a serial killer…”

“It's about a serial killer?!!”

Ryo can only sigh and look to his right again. He notices how Riku senpai is using a distracted Yushi as his scary scene cover. He's not as scared as Sakuya, but he does hold onto Yushi's arm for safety, disrupting his food binging.

“It’s gone now,” Yushi whispers to Riku as he looks at him, holding Riku's gaze. “It's not scary anymore.”

Riku stares back at him, holding his gaze. There's silence between them as they stare at each other for no reason. It's only 3 seconds, but the 3 seconds feel intense for Riku as he suddenly looks away to the side, laughing softly while feeling embarrassed. And Yushi feels his ears getting red as he looks down to the floor.

Ryo gives them an exasperated expression while absent mindedly consoling a scared Sakuya.

“Let's change the movie,” Yushi suddenly says.

“Noo!! Onii-san, I want to see how it ends,” Sakuya immediately objects despite half hiding.

“Then stop hiding??” Ryo accuses him.

“Riku senpai is also hiding. Why don't you blame him too?” Sakuya ends up arguing with Ryo.

Yushi rolls his eyes as he takes another bite, completely abandoning his original intention. Riku seems to find it funny as he grabs Yushi's body and pulls him into his lap. There's no longer a distance between them and Yushi seems to be the happiest about it as he smiles down at his plate.

Ryo wonders for the nth time if this couple could stop showing off in front of him.

**

It's a month later when Ryo finds out that they're not dating, or even confessed to each other. They're just throwing flirty looks at each other, and they're holding each other's hands without realizing the intent behind it. Ryo thinks this is crazy, and he's one step away from forcing them to kiss or at least forcing out a confession.

He thinks he needs to pressure Riku senpai because Yushi-kun is still stuck in the mindset of a middle school kid, despite the fact he'll be graduating high school in March, and Riku senpai, despite his habit of acting cute, is actually the mature adult that they all need. It also helps that Riku senpai considers Ryo as his favorite kouhai, something that Sakuya gets mad about, so Ryo thinks he has a chance to open Riku senpai’s eyes.

He finds the chance when they're all invited to watch Yushi’s soccer game in his high school. It's a rather easy game according to Riku senpai since the rival team isn't from a strong school, but every game is considered a serious one. Ryo sits beside him alone since Sakuya has soccer practice at this time.

As the match starts, Riku cheers with his self made banner with Tokuno name and Ryo makes a face at the cheesiness.

“Senpai, he always gets mad when you cheer like that, but you still do this. Are you secretly a masochist?”

“He’s just shy about it. He may hate it externally, but he likes it on the inside,” Riku says with a laugh.

“Are you sure? It doesn't seem like it.”

“I've known him since he was five. The first time he was mad at me, he locked the door and blocked me for a week. The second time, he kicked my shin and I had a big bruise for a week,” Riku laughs about it. “He gets emotional easily, and that's a part of him. He wouldn't be our Yu-chan if he didn't react as he feels.”

Ryo withholds the eye roll as he hears the word ‘our’. He wishes Riku senpai would just be honest and say ‘my’.

“Ah, I see,” Ryo can only say. “He must be really special to you. Not just as your childhood friend, but as someone more,” he continues.

“Eh? What do you mean?” Riku looks confused. “Like my best friend?”

“Well, that's obvious. Of course you guys are best friends. I just mean it's obvious that you like him too…”

“Wh..what? No I don't,” Riku denies it too quickly.

“Senpai, you know that you can lie about this to anyone else, but your lies don't work with me,” Ryo gives him an amused expression.

There's a silence between them as Riku's ears feel a little warm.

“It's not something I want to lie about,” Riku says quietly as he looks at the soccer match. “It’s easy to confess and it's easy to act on it, but there's always what ifs in my mind. That scares me, knowing that I can change everything with 3 words.”

“The confident Maeda Riku is scared?” Ryo teases him. “That's a shocking reality.”

Riku rolls his eyes at him.

“You can judge me, but you're also not doing anything either,” the elder points out. “When are you going to confess?”

“Graduation day,” Ryo tells him without much fanfare.

“Huh? Wait, really??” Riku asks in a surprised tone.

“Yep.”

“But you guys are aiming for different high schools, will he be alright?”

“He'll be fine. He's more resilient than Yushi-kun.”

Riku looks at him, wondering when did his cute kouhai become this confident kid. It felt like yesterday when he first met Ryo as an elementary school student, always causing trouble with an innocent smile. He smiles warmly at him, feeling somehow proud that Ryo isn't a coward like him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Ryo makes a face. “It's not a big deal. I just wanted him to know. Whether or not this ends in a heartbreak, at least I'll know which.”

“I'm not sure if I should count that as a good thing or a bad thing,” Riku says as he laughs at Ryo’s logic.

“What about you? When are you going to do it? What if Yushi-kun moved on and fell in love with a new person? Are you able to congratulate them without feeling bitter?” Ryo asks with a hint of malice.

Riku glares at him for being tactless, but he doesn't complain since the younger did make a good point. He doesn't think he can fake his expression that well if he had to greet Yushi’s new boyfriend. He considers himself lucky that Yushi hasn't fallen out of love yet.

Unfortunately, he doesn't get more time to think about it once he sees Yushi heading towards the goal with the ball. The younger skillfully passes the ball behind him and the ball rolls to his teammate, a forward that's been waiting. From then on, it's an easy goal and the team celebrates loudly on the field.

Yushi gets hugged by different teammates, but the younger wiggles in the embrace as he turns around and faces the audience. It's always hard to find Riku in a crowd of screaming fans, but somehow, Yushi always finds that bright blue banner in the crowd with his name. It's possibly why Yushi doesn't get mad whenever Riku brings it. The elder shows a fist into the air, celebrating his first goal, and Yushi waves at him with a wide smile, uncaring that his teammate is teasing him for flirting in the field.

It's unlikely that they know he's waving at Riku.

That tiny moment between them causes Ryo to roll his eyes, and Riku smacks the younger's back softly for being an annoying kouhai.

“I mean, he doesn't need to wave at you every time he makes a goal,” Ryo reminds him.

“He’s just happy about it.”

Ryo gives him an exasperated expression.

“You should think about it, senpai. Tell him before you regret it.”

Riku can only sigh loudly as he nods.

**

The next time Ryo meets them, it's nearing Christmas and the first snow hasn't arrived yet. Ryo is too busy studying for his last year of middle school to spend time consoling a clingy Sakuya, and he barely has the time to notice any new changes on Riku senpai or Yushi-kun. He only knows that Riku senpai has a volleyball tournament going on, and that his next match is a duel for the top 8 spot.

He meets them in Riku senpai's apartment, a rather small, but cozy apartment near the university building. He’s been there a few times, despite Riku senpai's constant invitations. The elder is always welcoming to his friends, which is why Yushi-kun tends to take advantage of it, despite knowing that he doesn't need to. After all, Riku rarely says no to Yushi, and he especially has a hard time letting go of Yushi’s hand once he has it.

It's a rather chilly day when he walks to the apartment with a pouting Sakuya beside him. He already knows that Sakuya is having separation anxiety, with graduation coming closer, and the amount of days left where he can have Ryo to himself. Ryo can't do anything to appease his anxiety, at least not yet. He still needs Sakuya to get used to this, because one day, Sakuya will go to his classes without Ryo beside him. It's a sad reality so he can't keep coddling him.

That's why he doesn't really pay attention to him as he leads them both to the apartment building. He walks upstairs to the second floor and knocks on the door, waiting for someone to open it.

He can hear Riku’s voice before he sees the door opening.

“Hey, come in,” Riku greets them before walking back into the kitchen.

Ryo can see Yushi-kun standing near the kitchen, as if waiting for Riku to return to his side.

Ryo can only hope they're not going to cook in the kitchen. He already suffered enough stomach ache the first time he tried their food.

He toes off his shoes and waits for the sulky Sakuya to do the same. He reaches out his hand to Sakuya, somehow trying to pacify this childish kid. Sakuya seems to like the gesture as he grips Ryo’s hand way too tightly.

As they enter the living room/kitchen area, Ryo notices Yushi clinging to Riku's back, as Riku washes a few more dishes. It seems the concept of personal space doesn't exist in Yushi's vocabulary today, and Riku doesn't seem to care as if he's used to this every day.

He shakes his head in disapproval towards Yushi's behavior, and the elder gives him the stink eye in reply.

Ryo sits down near the kotatsu, pulling Sakuya to sit beside him. He slips his legs inside the warm kotatsu and Sakuya copies him, somehow intertwining their legs on purpose. It starts a random leg competition between them and neither is unrelenting as one stray leg kicks too hard and another leg jabs a waist by accident. They only stop when Riku senpai approaches them with a pot of water and Yushi looks at them with a disapproving expression as he eats a cup of yogurt.

“Stop that. We have to boil this on the table,” Riku tells them with a scolding tone as he sets down the pot of water into an induction cooktop. They're doing sukiyaki today and everything is ready except to boil the water and add the sauce. He turns on the cooktop and sets it on high. 

He then grabs the prepared cut vegetables and raw meat from the kitchen counter, and places them on the dining table. Sakuya watches the pot of water curiously, as if waiting for it to boil within 5 seconds, and Ryo takes out his phone, playing with a game as they wait.

Yushi pats the seat beside him for Riku and the elders quietly sit down as Yushi grabs his left hand and leans against him. He watches as Riku takes out his phone, looks at the elder’s screen, frowning when he sees Takahashi senpai’s name in one of the conversations. He really doesn't like that guy.

Ryo watches them from across the table and withholds his laugh as Yushi's expression becomes more annoyed. He already knows that Yushi has sharing issues, and there's no surprise that he's jealous about something.

“Are you going to that group date?” Yushi asks quietly.

“I don't know, should I?” Riku asks teasingly with a smile.

Yushi frowns and grips Riku’s arm tightly as if taking revenge for that question.

“Argh! I'm kidding!” Riku immediately says as he feels the throbbing pain in his left arm. “Why would I go anyway?” he asks with a pout.

“Yeah, why would he go if he has you?” Ryo teases, smirking at Riku's annoyed expression.

“That's true,” Yushi looks at him with an intense gaze. “You have me.”

“I do,” Riku takes the younger’s hand and squeezes it gently, looking at him with a soft smile.

Ryo rolls his eyes at the corny scene. Neither of them notice the boiling pot yet.

“Then say no to them,” Yushi tries to grab the phone, but Riku laughs, not letting him take it.

“I’ll do it,” he tells the younger man with a grin as he types out the message to reject the invitation. Yushi watches carefully over Riku’s shoulder.

Ryo finally notices the boiling pot when he looks away from the fake lovers, and lowers the temperature. He sees Sakuya opening the spice pouch, and he immediately reaches out to make sure it doesn't spill. He helps him squeeze the contents into the boiling pot and mixes the liquid.

They wait another five minutes before they start putting in the raw food and letting it boil for a while. From then on, the four boys start eating without restraint.

A phone call breaks their focus and Yushi sees his phone lighting up, with the name Sato on the screen. He stops eating and wipes his hands before taking his phone and walking away. Riku looks at his retreating back with curiosity, wondering who this Sato-san person is, and why Yushi is willing to stop eating for him.

“Who's Sato-san?” Riku immediately asks Sakuya once Yushi is out on the balcony.

Ryo grins at him with a rather devious smile and Riku is glad, not for the first time, that Sakuya is Yushi’s younger brother, not Ryo.

“Sato-san? Who's that?” Sakuya asks back.

“The guy he's talking to. You don't know him? He hasn't been to your house then?”

“Why don't you just ask him?” Ryo cheekily.

“If you're not going to help, then just keep eating,” Riku tells him with a glare.

He's about to try again, but Yushi returns too quickly after closing the balcony door. He really doesn't want to resort to this, because it seems so nosy, but his curiosity outweighs his sense of shame.

“Yu-chan, who was that? Who's Sato-san?”

“Oh…um...no one,” Yushi can only say and Riku frowns, feeling the gnawing discomfort in his chest growing.

He doesn't ask anymore after that. His mind is already filled with the worst thoughts and he doesn't know how to face reality yet if he's right about his guess. That Yushi has somehow found someone new to like. It's the type of jealousy that makes him feel small and irrational, and Riku hates it. He shouldn't be restricting Yushi, but he can't help this feeling. He doesn't want Yushi to move on, ever .

And maybe that's why he realizes that Ryo-chan is right. He can't keep expecting things to stay the same. Things will change one day, and Riku needs to make a decision before it’s too late.

Yushi seems to notice Riku's sudden change of behavior after that, especially when the elder doesn't accept food from him. It stings, not knowing why the elder is being cold towards him. As if they had a fight without having that fight.

Ryo can only sigh internally as he watches them. He wonders how these two idiots survive a 15 years friendship without some real communications, especially when it comes to jealousy and sharing. Though he can't really blame them, he himself doesn't know if he can stay rational if Sakuya gets closer to someone else. So he decides to throw them a pity bone, because he really doesn't need a moody couple tonight.

“Yushi-kun, is Sato-san your boyfriend?”

Riku coughs loudly, almost choking on his food while Sakuya looks at Ryo with a confused gaze.

Yushi looks surprised by the question, not expecting it all of a sudden.

“What? Ani isn't dating anyone,” Sakuya tells him and Ryo rolls his eyes at Sakuya.

“I wasn't asking you,” Ryo tells him with a pointed look before looking back at Yushi, waiting for his reply. Even Riku is staring at Yushi, gripping his chopsticks in worry.

“I’m not,” Yushi says firmly. “Why would I date him?”

Riku loosens the grip on his chopsticks, feeling his heart less heavy after that confession.

“Then why won't you tell us more about him? We haven't heard about him before,” Ryo asks curiously.

“Ah…” Yushi says quietly as he thinks about it. He then looks at Riku for some reason before looking away. “He's just a friend.”

Riku doesn't know what that means, or why Yushi had to look at him. He just knows that Yushi is hiding something, and the younger one is refusing to say it.

“Oh, I see… Well, it's good that you don't like him that way.”

“...why is that a good thing?” Sakuya asks Ryo, wondering why his best friend wants to know these things. “Do you like my brother or something?”

“Are you an idiot?” Ryo asks back, feeling offended that Sakuya would think that way, but he shouldn't be surprised at Sakuya's lack of sense.

“Saku-chan, you're talking nonsense again,” Riku tells him while rolling his eyes.

“Just eat your food,” Yushi tells his little brother.

“That's still not a real answer,” Sakuya says a little too emotionally, feeling upset that they're avoiding the question.

“I don't,” Ryo says as he rolls his eyes. “Yushi-kun isn't my type anyway.”

“Why not?” Sakuya frowns. “Ani is a great guy!”

“Saku-chan, I'm confused. Do you want Ryo-chan to like him or not?” Riku asks in an amused tone.

Sakuya seems perplexed by the question, as if he's not sure if he should be defending his brother or not. He doesn't want Ryo to like his brother, but he also doesn't want Ryo to think that his brother sucks.

“I don't like Ryo, so stop over thinking about this, ” Yushi tells his brother before taking another octopus from the sukiyaki.

“Why are you thinking so hard anyway?” Ryo teases as he ruffles his hair. “You should save those brain cells for your year end exams.”

Sakuya smacks his hand away, glaring at him for being mean. Riku finds it amusing as usual, and he laughs at them when they finally bicker again like old friends. Yushi pouts at Riku's laughter, longing to have his attention towards him, not at them. So he cautiously touches Riku's left hand, fingers tapping and slowly caressing it, as if waiting for an invitation.

There's no signal or acknowledgement when Riku accepts him. It's a subtle movement when Riku’s hand opens up. It's the way their fingers slide against each other, tickling the sides and caressing each surface as if it's some type of foreplay between them. It feels intimate for Riku, and it makes Yushi happy, because this is their thing.

So when Riku finally looks at Yushi with a smile, Yushi smiles back, too widely and too open with his feelings. He's just too happy that Riku isn't mad anymore.

Later on that night, Sakuya insists on sleeping over despite Yushi's complaints, and Ryo agrees with the youngest for the sake of pissing off Yushi. Yushi relents when Riku tells him that the two boys can take the living room, and they'll take the bedroom. He seems excited by the idea since usually Riku sleeps in the living room when he sleeps over, so this time there's no distance between them anymore.

Ryo pretends he doesn't notice Yushi-kun's change of mood, and he pretends he doesn't notice Riku senpai’s smile. He's too tired to care about their stupid pining.

That night, Ryo ends up entertaining a very hyper Sakuya alone. Yushi manages to keep Riku to himself, alone in the bedroom without eyes on them. Riku usually passes out early, since he's an early riser, so Yushi spends more time trying to keep him awake, than having the opportunity to cuddle with him.

They're each sleeping inside a very cozy shikibuton, with no space between the shikibutons, and Yushi takes advantage of the fact that he can stare at Riku as he sleeps. It's quiet, and he can hear Riku's light snoring, a constant white noise in the background. He reaches out and touches Riku's cheek, careful not to wake him, as he gently traces over his features. There's an alluring aura over Riku's beauty, and Yushi doesn't think he'll ever get tired of staring at it. His fingers trace down to Riku's bottom lips, stopping momentarily to lightly press on it, wondering what it'd be like to kiss the elder one day. It's a thought that crosses his mind every day, ever since he came to term with his feelings.

And when he's starting to feel sleepy, he traces over Riku's jaw, and finally, the piercings in his ears. He thinks about how cool Riku looks with it, and he wishes he could have them too so they can match together, but he knows that Riku would get mad if he got them. So he wonders, as his final thought of the night, if he can convince him that it'll be alright.

The next morning, Riku wakes up by lightly stretching his legs and immediately feeling the presence of someone near him. He slowly opens his eyes and blinks, noticing Yushi sleeping silently in front of him. The younger’s face is half hidden by the pillow and his right hand pressing against Riku's neck for some reason. Riku takes Yushi’s hand and holds it gently, bravely leaning in to kiss the pretty fingers. He likes this moment the most, where Yushi doesn't notice how selfish and greedy Riku is towards him. He then lets go of his hand and reaches out to caress Yushi's white cheek. He traces over Yushi’s nose and traces down to his lips, stopping momentarily, before pressing his finger against the red lips. There’s an irrational hope in his chest that he can be Yushi's first kiss one day.

In a moment of weakness, Riku presses his finger against his own lips and then presses it lightly against the younger’s lips. It feels silly, and it makes his whole body flushed with embarrassment, but damn it if he’s not happy about this indirect kiss. He knows that he needs to apologize one day, and he will, but right now, he's too busy covering his burning face into his arm, thinking about kissing Yushi for real one day.

Get a grip, Maeda.

**

When the first snow falls, Yushi is already outside in the cold weather, trying to get home before it gets too dark. He feels the cold, wet flake on his nose before he sees it, and then he realizes.

The first snow!

He's excited, skipping one step too many before running into the nearest park. It's empty, there's no kids playing there since it's cold, and the snow slowly piles up, creating a thin layer in the ground. He's thrilled to see it, and he wishes that Riku was here to see it too.

He checks his phone and realizes that the elder still has 30 more minutes before his practice ends. So he leaves a bunch of text messages, hoping that Riku sees them when he's done. For now, he waits for Riku, hoping the snow doesn't melt when the elder arrives.

It takes an hour for Riku to actually show up, realizing that Yushi has been waiting for him. The elder looks worried and has a panicked expression when he finally sees him. Yushi's hair is covered lightly with snow, and his jacket isn't warm enough for this temperature. His scarf is also missing, causing Riku to feel even more worried.

“Yushi! Why are you not dressed properly? Why didn't you wait at home?! We could have met after…” Riku starts scolding the moment he steps into the playground. He's upset, tired from practice, but most of all, he's scared that Yushi will contract pneumonia or a bad flu if he doesn't warm up soon.

He doesn't expect Yushi to run up to him and hug him. He's suddenly frozen in the spot, feeling Yushi's cold cheek against him, and enjoying the way the younger hugs him tightly, as if stealing his warmth.

“You came,” Yushi whispers, somehow happy that the elder didn't forget.

“... you're driving me crazy, you know that?” Riku can only say before hugging him back tightly, sighing in relief that the younger isn’t unwell. “Why couldn't you wait inside like a normal person?”

“I have to show you something,” Yushi wiggles in his embrace, pushing him to let go. Riku relents, only so he can take off his warmer jacket for Yushi.

“Wear this. Give me yours.”

“Riku…”

“If you're not going to listen, I'm going home,” he threatens and Yushi’s heart drops from seeing his angry side. It’s rare to see it, and he knows better than to argue with him, so he takes off his jacket quickly and takes Riku’s. It’s only then that Yushi sees Riku’s expression soften and he sighs internally in relief. After they switch jackets, Yushi takes Riku’s warm hand and leads him to what he made in the snow, a few feet away.

It’s not something Yushi decides to do impulsively. He has always thought about this idea years ago, when he thought about confessing to someone. He didn’t want to confess through words, that’s too fleeting. He wanted it different. He wanted the words to not disappear quickly. So he decided he’d choose this, confessing through snow.

I like you

Three words written in the ground and slowly being covered by light snow.

Riku stares at it, blinks a few times, before realizing what this is. Kokuhaku, a confession. He can feel Yushi’s gaze on his face and his heart thumps loudly. There are a million thoughts running in his head, some are worries and some are excitement, but most of all, relief. Relief that Yushi takes the first step for them, and relief that he doesn’t have to hold in this huge emotion anymore.

“What do you think?” Yushi asks him quietly, feeling anxious at his lack of reply.

Riku faces him with a smile, one that makes Yushi shy, because it looks pretty, sappy and tender towards him. It causes his ears to redden and his heart to beat faster, realizing how much he likes this version of Riku, just completely full of love.

“I love you too,” Riku replies, completely ignoring that Yushi didn’t use that word yet. He takes a step forward when he sees Yushi’s reaction to his words: surprised, shyness and the ears that never stop turning red.

“Th… that’s not what I said,” Yushi mutters, looking at the ground, feeling more shy than ever by Riku’s words.

“I know,” Riku says softly. “I’ll wait until you feel it too.”

Yushi wants to say that he already does, that he’s already irrevocably fallen for Riku, but as soon as he looks up at Riku’s handsome face, his thoughts are gone. He can’t form a legible sentence anymore. Not when Riku is looking at him like that.

“Let’s go home,” Riku tells him, his smile never leaving his lips. “Let’s warm you up and we’ll talk there.”

Yushi can only nod in silence as he takes Riku’s hand, their fingers intertwining, and follows him home.

**

Ryo stands behind Sakuya, waiting for him to open the door already since it’s cold outside. Once it’s unlocked, they immediately rush inside, saying their greeting quickly as they take off their shoes and head for the warm living room. At first, Ryo thinks they’re alone, but then he hears Yushi-kun’s giggle and Riku senpai replying to him. He thinks they’re just flirting again, but then he sees Yushi-kun leaning in to kiss Riku senpai and the elder doesn’t stop him. The kiss lasts barely a second, but it shocks Ryo to his core.

When the hell did they start dating?!

Sakuya seems to be the most shocked as he immediately yells out his reaction.

“What was that?!”

“Saku-chan,” Riku says his name with a surprised expression, probably didn’t hear their greetings moments ago.

“You guys are back early,” Yushi says, ignoring the fact that he just kissed someone in front of his brother.

“Don’t change the topic! What was that? Are you two dating?” Sakuya asks many questions.

“Yes,” Yushi simply says, not expanding more on it.

“Yu-chan, we need to say more than that,” Riku reminds him.

“Yes, we’re dating,” Yushi adds, and Ryo rolls his eyes at the elder’s lack of details.

“Since when?!”

“Yeah, since when did this happen? You guys were not together yet in December,” Ryo says. “I’m disappointed in you senpai. How come you didn’t share the news with me?”

“Wait, you knew they liked each other and didn’t tell me?” Sakuya looks offended by this news the most. “I thought we shouldn’t have secrets.”

“It wasn’t even my secret,” Ryo rolls his eyes.

“But you could have told me!”

“Why would I tell someone else’s secrets? I’m not a tattler!”

Yushi rolls his eyes at their usual fight and tugs Riku’s arm as a signal to go up to his room. Riku looks amused by his request, thinking he really shouldn’t be tempted, but his desire outweighs his rationality lately. So somehow they sneak away silently, two hands unwilling to let go of each other.

They don’t notice that Ryo lets them leave. He thinks it’s the least he could do. After all, he’s happy that they found each other, and he can only hope that he can have that with Sakuya.

Chapter Text

When Riku thinks about his first love, there's warmness in his heart. There's no more bitterness or sadness as he thinks about their memories. Their first kiss, their first date or even their first time, they become the kind of memories he can look back on without regrets. Because at the end of the day, he really did love Yushi unconditionally. The kind of love he didn't expect to experience at an early age.

The happiness he felt when holding Yushi's hand, the shyness between them when they exchanged glances, the butterflies that seemed to fly whenever they spent the day together, and all the firsts they shared. They felt precious to Riku, even 10 years after their break up.

It wasn't the ending they wanted. Naive boys who kept wishing for happily ever after, but their fates ended up splitting up into different directions. Riku who had to study in a different city, and Yushi who ended up studying abroad. Somehow deep down, they both knew it wouldn't last long, but neither wanted to say goodbye yet. 

In the end, it was in the airport, as people passed by them, that they said goodbye. It was the last time Riku saw Yushi cry, and it was the last time he consoled the younger. There was no last kiss. There was no more sweetness. It was one last hug and one last promise, to move on.

It took Riku months to move on. When the sadness left, the pain still remained until it slowly ebbed away and became a scab. Only then could Riku walk to places without remembering the little things they did together.

Life kept going. Riku met new people, fell in love with someone else, dated different people, and sometimes he thought about Yushi. Wondering if he's well, wondering where he is now, and wondering if Yushi achieved his dreams. He could only hope for the best for him.

Even now, as he walks down this familiar road, cherry blossoms surround him, reminiscing how he took Yushi here that one time. The younger kept wanting to try different foods from the stalls and he couldn’t help but spoil him. He smiles at the memory and wonders if the younger is still addicted to ramen. He then spots a takoyaki stall, and remembers how he waited a long time to buy one portion for Yushi.

The things I did to make you happy…

Riku smiles at the thought as he keeps walking to his destination. Barely noticing the people that pass by him. The sun is slowly setting and the slightly warm wind brushes his cheek.

It's such a nice day today…

His appreciation almost causes him to miss the sign; the familiar figure and the familiar face that approaches from his front. His hair is longer and his cheeks are thinner, but that's him, his Yushi.

No, not mine…

Riku reminds himself sternly as he shakes his head in fondness.

There's a moment of hesitation, as if he's unsure if Yushi would still talk to him after years of silence. But the moment their eyes meet, Yushi smiles at him, the same smile that made Riku waver years ago. Nothing has really changed for Riku. He's still affected by Yushi, even by the smallest thing.

Yushi's steps are quiet and confident, a contrast to the shy Yushi that Riku used to know back then. And he's not the only one that changed, Riku changed too. He's no longer the popular, charming student Riku. He's quieter, self-assured and independent. They're no longer the person the other fell for.

“Riku,” Yushi smiles at him with a quiet voice. The one trait that will never change.

“Yushi,” Riku replies back with his own smile, not realizing how wide it is. “How are you?”

A tiny frown forms on Yushi's lips, and a small pout forms on his lips.

“I'm fine… but why are you calling me Yushi?”

“Is that not your name anymore?” Riku asks, looking confused.

“It is, but that's not what you'd call me. Am I no longer Yu-chan?”

Riku opens his mouth, ready to refute the statement, but smiles instead.

“Yu-chan,” Riku says his name with a lopsided smile and a teasing tilt in his tone. “Better?”

Yushi nods cutely, cheeks slightly blushing, his smile slowly returning.

“Are you here alone?” He asks Riku.

“I am.”

“Then, let's catch up. Let's go to a cafe or something,” the younger man asks without hesitation.

Riku smiles at him, realizing how this aspect of Yushi never changed. How he's impatient and likes to say what he wants.

“You don't want to enjoy the beautiful view anymore?” Riku asks while chuckling, gesturing to the cherry blossoms.

“I'm already enjoying it in front of me,” Yushi says bluntly.

Riku laughs at his sudden flirting, feeling slightly flustered and happy for the compliment.

“Where did you learn that line?” He teases as he keeps giggling.

“J… just from shows,” Yushi blushes and Riku smiles endearingly.

“Where should we go then?”

“Aoi,” Yushi suggests, an Izakaya restaurant nearby that they've been to.

It's a local restaurant that's well known in the city and ten years ago, it was really popular. Now, it's still being visited, but not as popular as it used to be.

Riku looks around when he finally sits inside, noticing the differences and recalling the memory of the last time he was here with Yushi. He then looks at Yushi, noticing the changes of the younger's body. It's slightly more muscled, but he still has that slim figure.

“You changed a lot, you know,” Riku says it first, while smiling. “You're not shy anymore.”

“I wasn't that shy,” Yushi complains while pouting.

After that, the conversations flow easily, as if they had never been separated for 10 years. Their friendship was always the kind where awkwardness didn't exist between them. It was no surprise that they could go back to where they were 10 years ago, best friends.

It's really easy to talk to you…

Riku thinks as he smiles while listening to Yushi's story. He never thought he could meet Yushi again, as if fate decides to make their paths cross. He still doesn't know what will happen after this meeting. Whether they'll keep in touch or this will be another sweet memory between them.

Yushi seems to be thinking the same thing as he hesitates before asking this next question.

“Since you're back, we should hang out again,” Yushi says confidently despite his voice wavering in the beginning.

“We should,” Riku smiles, somehow returning to his bad habit of easily agreeing with Yushi.

“Then…” Yushi sticks out his pinky.

Riku chuckles at the childish request, but he thinks this is a part of Yushi that has always been endearing. So he wraps his pinky around Yushi’s, sealing the promise.

**

His vision keeps blurring even as he wipes his eyes repeatedly. It hurts. It hurts too much. It hurts more than he thought it would. It's the kind of pain that throbs heavily, sits on the bottom of his heart and it weighs on him endlessly. It's his first heartbreak, and he wishes it wasn't with Riku.

People pass by them, time ticks away and noises are echoing in the background, but at that moment, it feels like their life is stuck at this scene. The sensation of Riku's finger wiping his tears, the soft, cracked words that keep repeating between them, and the way his fingers clench on Riku's shirt. He doesn't want to let go, not yet. Not now.

The word ‘sorry’ keeps being repeated and the weight of a promise, to move on, is heavy on his mind. He knows better than to do this, to keep Riku rooted to this place, because this love can't keep going on. Their love shouldn't be something that holds them back from their future. And their love shouldn't be the reason that Riku stays here. That's what they both agreed on and that's what he needs to remember.

It may look like a sad future without Riku. It may seem like he won't stop crying from the pain, but one day he will. Just not today or tomorrow. But one day, the sadness will disappear, and his love for Riku will slowly lessen. And maybe that's why, with this recurring thought, it helps him let go of his first love.

“Thank you.”

The first step is always the heaviest. The second one feels less weighted, and the rest feels easier than before. He doesn't look back anymore, he keeps going, straight to his destination, until he reaches the place where he can let go of his emotions, his home. It's quiet as he sobs heavily , no one is there to hold him tight anymore, but it's alright. Today is just the beginning of an end.

**

~2 months later~

There's no longer butterflies when their hands brush. It's no longer an infatuation between them, like it was 10 years ago. They both grew up as adults, and falling in love isn't as easy as it used to be. What's left is the familiarity, memories and the tranquility of having each other again. They've become inseparable again, without meaning to.

There is no longer the pressure to study, or to have a better future, or to chase after their dreams. They've done it all, and now they are in the same town again. Being adults means more freedom for them to do what they've always wanted. And maybe that's why it's easier now, for Riku to not care about his image anymore, and for Yushi to confidently take what he wants.

They're still learning about each other again, as if they've met for the first time. There are new dislikes and new obsessions, but some things remain the same. The way Yushi still reaches out for contact, and the way Riku smiles at him. Those habits will never completely disappear.

And once the feelings become clear and it can't be hidden anymore, Yushi says it first, without hesitation as usual. They're no longer kids that need to play the ambiguity game in front of adults. And maybe that's why it's easier for Riku to say it back, the feeling that never left his heart even when he moved on.

There's no first kiss anymore between them, there's no first to be shared anymore. It's simply a second beginning. Another chance to re-align their fates and to keep walking in the same path. And it feels sweeter this time, to know that there are no regrets between them.

This time, they'll fight for the future they want.

**

Riku stares at Yushi's face as the younger one sleeps. It's still dark outside and the wind feels chillier than before. Sunrise will happen soon, and he'll head to school early for practice, but this hour feels too precious as it's one of the last chances to record this sweet memory. To watch Yushi sleep without worrying about their future.

The deadline is slowly approaching. They both feel it. The reality that time doesn't stop even when they want it to. It keeps ticking silently, and they keep ignoring it, for the sake of one more second.

Riku himself doesn't know what will happen that day, the day they'll eventually part ways. The thought of not seeing Yushi every day anymore is already causing his eyes to become wet. And the thought that someone else might love Yushi causes his heart to break even more.

It’s painful. It hurts when he thinks about goodbye. It’s a cruel word that should not exist. They shouldn’t have to face this twisted fate.

It's why he holds on to this present, where he can still hold him, and where he can still love him. Where it's just the two of them, hiding from everything. Where he can smell Yushi's hair, and feel his warmth seeping through his clothes. He hugs him tightly, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath.

How can I say goodbye to you?

Chapter Text

It all started when Yushi happened to read Riku's reply to a fan, where he stated that he preferred an older person over a younger person. Yushi initially didn't know how to react to the news since he never actually asked Riku regarding his ideal type. He just assumed that he could slowly win Riku's heart with his charming personality and overall cuteness. But if it's true that Riku prefers an older person, this means he can't use his cuteness to win him over. He'll have to be mature like Sion hyung, or like the other NCT hyungs. Which feels like a hard challenge in his opinion.

But he doesn't mind it. He knows that he can actually do it; prove to Riku that he can be mature despite his age. He just needs to open Riku's eyes and make him realize that there is a great choice, one right in front of him. And he knows he needs to do it before Riku's birthday, because he can’t exactly pretend to be older if he's back to being Riku’s younger friend. That means Yushi only has 70+ days left and he thinks it's enough time to do this plan.

The plan basically involves proving that he can actually behave like his age. That includes not teasing his members or pulling childish pranks towards Sakuya. The hardest part is probably staying still and not acting out when they're answering fans' questions. It's hard to ignore his desire to hug a member, or to do something silly to make fans laugh, or even to not poke Sakuya's cheek for fun. He thinks it's a miracle that he manages to last through a fansign without immediately failing the plan.

He’s suddenly worried if he can stay mature for the rest of his life. It feels exhausting , but he knows that the alternative, losing Riku to some old, uninteresting person, is a worse future. So he refuses to give up. That's why he barely notices how Sion hyung is giving him questioning looks or how Sakuya is wondering if his favorite hyung is replaced by an alien. He's too busy trying to appear mature despite his inner self feeling slowly tortured by the change. He doesn't have time to wonder if this plan is actually going well.

It starts to feel harder when Sakuya tries to play with him, or when Sion hyung suggests a good prank they can pull on Sakuya. But he avoids them, purposely walking away and ignoring them. He thinks the plan is slowly working when Sion hyung comments that he's becoming a reliable person these days. He grins at the comment and looks at Riku, to check if the elder notices too. Riku seems to be amused by Sion’s comment so Yushi considers it as his first win, and does a small victory dance when they're not looking.

The progress starts to unravel when they're in Japan for a festival and on a rare occasion, Riku approaches him backstage. Usually, they're only allowed to interact with specific members unless they're not filming, and Riku is the type to follow the staff’s instructions. So Yushi is surprised to see him not caring today. He's suddenly unsure on how to react when Riku is smiling at him, only able to stare back at him blankly.

And somehow, that blank expression, causes Riku to try harder as he acts cutely in front of him and grabs his right arm, pulling him closer.

“Yu-chan, don't ignore me,” Riku pouts before pretending to be a cat in front of him, pawing at him with his fake paw. “Nyan?”

Yushi struggles to keep his composure because a cute Riku is one of his favorite things to see. And this Riku is trying to kill him with cuteness. So he purposely looks away.

Riku tries again, this time puffing up his cheeks and pouting his lips, purposely leaning close to Yushi’s face, to check if the younger will laugh. It's suddenly a battle of who'll give up first as Yushi tries to look away while Riku keeps making cute faces at him.

Even a passing Jaehee stops by and watches in amusement at their interaction, wondering what's happening before leaving.

The crack starts to form when Riku starts to follow him around while cutely calling after him. A giggle somehow finally escapes, and Riku thinks he won this game as he suddenly laughs, clapping his hands in happiness.

“I did it. I made you laugh,” Riku says as he grins while holding onto Yushi's arm. “Do you feel better now?”

“What are you talking about?” Yushi whines as he faces Riku, feeling a bit dejected that he couldn't keep up his mature composure. “Why did you bother me anyway?”

“What do you mean why? Since when do I need permission to bother my favorite person?”

Yushi feels his ears becoming warm as soon as he hears that, and his heart is skipping a beat.

“I only did it because you looked so serious lately,” Riku continues explaining while pouting. “I wanted to make sure that you're okay.”

He slides down his hand and holds the younger's hand.

“I’m fine,” Yushi pouts too. “There's nothing wrong. I'm just not 19 anymore. 20 years old Yushi is different now.”

“20 years old Yushi is different?” Riku echoes his words while wondering about the meaning.

“Yes, I'm more reliable now,” Yushi reminds him. “I’m mature.”

“Eh?” The elder sounds surprised while grinning at his words. “Really?”

Yushi frowns at his reaction and smacks his shoulder for being mean. He turns around and tries to walk away, but Riku won't let him.

“I’m kidding. It's a joke. Yuuu-chan, don't be mad,” the elder says as he pulls the younger into a rare backhug.

It makes Yushi fluster at the sudden contact and he flushes in embarrassment. He can't help but melt at Riku’s embrace.

“I like 19 year old Yushi, he was charming to me,” Riku mutters softly. “That’s why I was surprised when you said that. Though 20 year old Yushi is pretty amazing too. I like them both.”

“Liar,” Yushi can only say, feeling overwhelmed by his words, and he feels shy as he looks down to the floor, ears red and burning.

Riku chuckles at his reply, somehow feeling happy that Yushi isn't mad at his words.

As much as Yushi wants to stay like this, happy and warm in Riku's arms, a burning question forms in his mind and he just has to ask it.

“...but if you had to choose, who’d you pick?” Yushi asks as he disentangles himself from Riku's hug and faces him. “20 year old Yushi, right?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, 19 year old Yushi was probably too cute for you…” the younger mutters to himself.

“What's wrong with cute?” Riku wonders, reaching out to touch Yushi again, but Yushi won't let him as he purposely steps back.

“I just mean you'd find 20 year old Yushi more attractive, right?”

Riku doesn't know what Yushi means by “attractive”. He thinks age doesn't define how attractive someone can be, and in the case of Yushi, he just likes Yushi as he is, whether he's cute or cool, Yushi, in general, is attractive to him. Despite that, he doesn't know what kind of answer Yushi is looking for. He doesn't even know why Yushi is asking about these things. So he'll just have to simplify his answer.

“I like Yushi,” Riku says to him.

“Eh?” Yushi widens his eyes, not expecting that kind of confession. He suddenly doesn't know what's happening as his heart starts to beat faster.

Riku blushes once he realizes what he said.

“I mean, I don't care if you're 19 or 20. I like you as you are. You’ve always been attractive to me.”

Yushi looks away after hearing the compliment. He can't stand it. The way Riku can make his heart flutter, his ears redden and his feelings intensify with just a few sweet words. It's cruel if the elder is just teasing him. It's cruel if the elder is just being nice. But he's so in love with Riku that he doesn't care if he's dragged along by Riku's chain. Those words give him hope that he can still win this despite being younger than Riku.

“Really?” Yushi can only reply after experiencing a turmoil of emotions.

Riku nods as he reaches out again, this time Yushi lets him take his hand again. It's a gentle squeeze that's reassuring and comforting, and Yushi smiles shyly at him.

Chapter Text

It’s common knowledge that Riku and Yushi come in a set. Wherever Yushi goes, Riku is right behind him, following closely as if he’s Yushi’s bodyguard. It doesn’t help that Riku is known to be the intimidating kind with his black sleeveless shirt, showcasing his toned muscles, and his washed ripped jeans. Not to mention the fact that Riku rarely smiles when the two are out together. It makes his cool, chic gaze more daunting to people who pass by them.

Meanwhile, Yushi is regarded as the cuter one of the two. Always wearing cute animated shirts and having the most childish behavior, like sticking his tongue out to annoy Riku, or teasing Riku repeatedly when he makes a mistake. He’s also known to be more outgoing and friendly when meeting new people, unlike Riku and his closed off stance.

Everyone seems to think they’re the opposite of each other, which is why they’re curious how these two ended up dating each other. They think their relationship won’t last long and it’s probably just a fling, but surprisingly, according to Yushi’s younger brother, these two have been together for more than 2 years. It’s the most shocking fact for new university students who think they have a chance with Yushi, or even with Riku if they’re crazy enough to try it.

But for friends who are close to them, they know how whipped these two are towards each other. Especially Riku, who, despite his external appearance, is a very clingy person and sometimes possessive. Meanwhile, Yushi is known to be more aloof and caring when he’s behind closed doors. That’s why they’re not surprised that these two match each other’s vibes. Especially when they both like the same type of foods, music and have similar personalities.

Nevertheless, they’re still the kind of friends who’d tease them during hard times. Like today, for example. Riku is seen wearing a shockingly pastel pink sweater that looks too loose on him, but very comfy. He walks around as if he’s modeling the sweater, and the audience isn’t sure if they should be amazed or laugh at the color.

His friends seem to think it’s the perfect laughing material as they tease him over it. Calling him a princess since he’s also wearing a pink Cinnamoroll pin on his hair. Riku shrugs it off, confident in his own body that he doesn’t mind the judgmental stares. Especially since both the sweater and the pin were gifts from a special person.

It’s only when he meets Yushi later on, outside in the large walking area, that he’s able to show off his boyfriend’s gifts proudly.

“Yu-chan!” Riku purposely calls his name out loud before coming closer to hug him, surprising Yushi with his sudden hug. “I missed you,” he mutters softly, not letting others hear this part.

Yushi is speechless by Riku’s behavior, since he's rarely affectionate outside, but he hugs him back, liking the affection.

“Thank you for the gifts!” Riku says loudly this time, causing some passersby to hear them before kissing his cheek wetly.

Yushi blushes and nods before hiding his face into Riku’s shoulder in embarrassment. He’s not used to this kind of Riku, but he’s glad that Riku likes his gift, he did spend so much time knitting it.

“You really like it?” Yushi asks quietly.

“Of course,” Riku reaffirms. “You think I'd wear pastel pink for fun?” He teases.

There's a playful smile on Yushi's lips before he lets go of Riku and tugs on the elder’s hand to leave the vicinity. He thinks his boyfriend deserves a kiss for being sweet.

Chapter Text

“Stupid Riku. I hate him,” Yushi huffs as he sits down in the chair beside Daeyoung, angry at his stupid boyfriend, who never understands why Yushi gets mad.

They're at the library, meeting up to study for their upcoming test.

It's the same old fight for them. Riku gets jealous every time Yushi catches the attention of good looking guys, and Yushi thinks the elder needs to chill because it's not like he's flirting with them. Plus, why would he want any of them when his standard is the Maeda Riku? It's a standard that's hard to beat, even if you're an A list celebrity.

“My life would be so much easier if I didn't date him in the first place,” Yushi says spitefully.

“Not true. You'd hate it if he didn't date you,” Daeyoung reminds him.

“I would not! I'd have fallen for a different guy over time,” Yushi huffs, disagreeing.

“Uhuh, sure you would,” Daeyoung sarcastically agrees.

Yushi frowns before leaning forward to rest on the table. He pouts at the lack of support he's receiving.

“You’re supposed to be on my side unconditionally,” he complains while pouting.

“That requires too much effort, senpai,” Daeyoung tells him without looking at him.

“Why? Are you on his side then?” Yushi asks while poking Daeyoung's arm repeatedly.

“I just think you guys always fight and make up within days. So there's no point in picking sides anyway. You'll be fine by the weekend.”

“... that's not true. We don't always fight,” Yushi huffs, feeling offended by that accusation.

“Oh? So last week, you didn't get mad at Riku senpai for helping a kouhai get home?”

“... that was one time…”

“Or the time you got mad because Riku senpai forgot to call you after he got home from his trip. Or when Riku senpai got mad because you went to karaoke with a group of friends that included his rival,” Daeyoung starts listing out examples as if he has a bunch ready in his mind.

“...whatever,” Yushi says before opening his bag, ending the conversation.

Daeyoung smiles at his senpai's tantrum. He’s used to this, and so are their other friends.

**

Riku checks his messages for the fifth time unconsciously before sighing and giving up. He's still annoyed at Yushi for being naive, thinking that these good looking men are harmless. Even if Yushi doesn’t give them false hope, it's still the thought that Yushi lets them be around him, as if having Riku isn't enough for him. He hates it, the mixed feeling of jealousy and sadness when he thinks about their silly fight. He doesn't want to behave like this, like a boyfriend who needs reassurance all the time, but it's hard. Yushi is the type of person who doesn't notice the love he receives, while Riku, he notices everything.

That's why he's just tired today. He's tired of fighting. He's tired of being jealous. He's also tired from this long volleyball practice. But most of all, he's tired of feeling. Life would be much easier if they were all robots devoid of emotions.

But then kissing Yushi wouldn't be as pleasurable…

His naughty brain adds on, and Riku tells it to shut up. He doesn't need to add horniness to this problem.

So he decides to not contact Yushi first, unwilling to be the first one to give up this fight. Even if this fight is a silly one, Riku is being stubborn about it. That's how they end up not contacting each other for almost a week. It feels weird, not seeing Yushi daily or hearing his voice before he goes to bed. It’s weird enough that Riku feels uneasy, not knowing what’s going on with Yushi’s life for the past 6 days.

He thinks he can last a bit longer. It’s only been 6 days and he’s sure that the both of them have been busy with classes and exams. Yushi is probably not thinking about him much anyway. He bets the younger is addicted to a new game on his phone, or is busy hanging out with his other friends. He thinks that the younger doesn't even notice that Riku hasn’t been around him as much. After all, Yushi has always been the type to space out. So he sighs dejectedly before going to his next class.

**

Yushi glares at his phone, the wallpaper of Riku kissing his cheek is staring back at him, and there are about 30 unread messages in his Line, but none are from Riku. It’s been 6 days of silence from both sides, and Yushi thinks Daeyoung is a big fat liar because they’re supposed to make up 3 days ago, but they haven’t. He doesn’t even know what to do, or say, because Riku is always the one who says sorry first, even when it’s Yushi’s mistake, so Yushi feels lost. Like, really lost and hopelessly useless at figuring out feelings, because that was kind of Riku’s job.

Now, he’s just sitting on this bench, somehow near where Riku goes to his classes, and silently broods while trying to build up the courage to find Riku. Because even though Yushi doesn’t understand why Riku was jealous, he still doesn’t want this fight to keep going. He misses Riku, a lot more than he thought he would. It’s the kind of feeling that wears heavy on his heart, and slowly squeezes it painfully, because talking to Riku always makes him feel happy and at ease, and they haven’t talked in days . 

Their relationship isn’t just about their sexual chemistry or how long they have known each other as some might have guessed. It’s also how Yushi doesn’t think anyone else could compliment his inner child, something that’s seen as so childish and immature to most people, but Riku seems to embrace it, wholeheartedly. And maybe that’s why Yushi truly loves him.

So as he prepares himself to find Riku again, he overhears a few people talking as they pass by. mentioning Riku’s name. It makes Yushi feels wary.

“Yeah, I hear Riku senpai broke up with his long term lover,” one girl says to her friend.

“Really?! I’m surprised. I mean, he rejected so many people over the years that I thought they’d get married soon.”

“Right?! I was also surprised because he seemed to be so in love with her. Like he always called her Yu-chan. That’s such a cute nickname for her.”

Yushi stops hearing them as they keep walking away, but he’s surprised to hear about himself from third parties. The fact that most students in Riku’s degree know about Riku having someone. It’s something that he doesn’t expect to hear about. He thinks this is another reason he ends up falling for Riku. The elder just keeps finding ways to warm his heart unexpectedly.

With that in mind, Yushi walks more confidently this time, looking for Riku. Which isn’t hard to do since they both know each other’s schedule, and they have been to each other’s classes in the past.

It’s only when they face each other that Yushi freezes a little, but so does Riku, not expecting to see Yushi in front of him. Riku’s friends immediately disperse once they see Yushi, already anticipating the couple to want to be left alone.

Riku hardens his expression, ready to deny Yushi an apology if the younger asks, like a stubborn, stupid mule.

“Riku…” Yushi starts to say, while unsure of what to say next.

“I still have volleyball practice after this,” Riku reminds him, pretending to be aloof.

“Oh…um…”

There’s an awkward silence between them as Yushi stops talking again. It only causes Riku to feel annoyed, because it’s unfair that Yushi can use his cute awkward self to make Riku feel bad for being the bad guy.

“Look, let’s do this later…”

“I don’t want to fight anymore,” Yushi interrupts Riku’s words.

“Well, whose fault was that? You ran off before we could even talk about it,” Riku immediately complains, crossing his arms.

“I know, I know,” Yushi whines softly while pouting. “But you always do this. You always think some guy is trying to steal me when I don’t even know who they are. It’s annoying.”

“Well I’m sorry for being a pain in the ass,” Riku says sarcastically, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

“I’m sorry too,” Yushi tells him, not recognizing the sarcasm. “For not wanting to talk about this. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Riku can’t help but soften at those words, knowing how rare it is for Yushi to actually admit his faults.

“It’s alright,” he ends up saying softly. “I know I get jealous easily, and I know you won’t leave me for them. But it’s still hard for me to not see them as competition. You’re so easily loved, Yushi. Even by people that barely know you.”

Yushi frowns at hearing the last part.

“It’s just superficial love,” the younger one argues. “They don’t know how to make me feel happy, sad, or even angry. I only feel those emotions when I’m with you.”

“...Is that so?” Riku smiles warmly at him, not expecting Yushi to say sweet words.

“Mhm,” Yushi reassures. “I’m yours, you know that, right?”

Riku smiles even more as he hears that.

“It’d be nice if you say that more often,” he teases as he steps closer to the younger, and Yushi nods, agreeing with his request. He places his hand on Yushi’s bicep, softly squeezing it endearingly. They can’t do anything more than this, with so many eyes on them. “Come over tonight,” he says the last words quietly.

Yushi nods, promising him, while internally feeling relief that they’re okay now. Maybe he won’t blame Daeyoung after all.

Chapter Text

When Riku first came to this grand forest, he didn’t expect to like this place. He initially thought it looked scary, interesting, but most of all, too spacious for his liking. He was used to his old room, the small laboratory that was 7 by 5 inches, and it had all of his precious things. But in the end, he couldn’t stay, not when there were evil people who wanted to destroy him, just because he was too good at doing his job, analyzing data.

So now, Riku, a rather self sufficient android, decides to make this mystical forest his new home. The forest is actually abundant in fruits and vegetation, but it’s all unnecessary for Riku, who doesn’t require food to live. He simply recharges himself using sunlight, purposely sleeping in an area where sunlight will shine onto him as he slowly wakes up. It’s one of the best things ever, to be woken up by sunlight.

Riku spends his time collecting data during the day, recording different species that live in this forest, whether they’re animals or vegetations. He finds them rather fascinating, and he likes noticing the little things, like how the bees form an alliance with the red birds, or how there’s a species of venus plant that actually gives nectar to small insects, rather than eating them. All of these new facts excite Riku, if he could actually feel excitement that is. After all, he’s programmed to be an analytic robot.

As months pass, Riku forms friendships with different races, and these species consider Riku as a non threatening entity, since he is always cautious about stepping on small insects and he doesn’t try to destroy their habitats. In fact, some even use Riku as a sleeping buddy, cuddling beside him during night time, because Riku always expels out warm air when he’s in sleeping mode.

One day, Riku walks to the river, exploring the area once again after a few weeks. It’s peaceful there, with the occasional animal passing by to drink the water. It’s there that he meets him, a beautiful being that passed out in the ground. At first, Riku is cautious, because he has been chased by evil people before, but as he looks closer, that being doesn’t look the same as those people.

The ears are more pointy, and his feet are smaller. So Riku is now curious about this being. Is this also a new species to be discovered?

He approaches closer, slowly, and suddenly, he’s in front of it, looking below. He bends down and pokes the being with his finger. It doesn’t move. But he does notice the rather obvious wound on his head, causing Riku to worry.

I can’t let it die!

It’s then that Riku decides to carry this slender being into his safe space, the part of the forest where he recharges himself. It’s there that he lies him down gently, and he takes honey from the bees, after asking their permission, to disinfect the wound. He then covers the wound with a clean leaf.

After that, he waits, for the longest time, for the being to wake up. He doesn’t move from his spot, even when the animals greet him.

When sunset approaches, the being slowly wakes up, eyes fluttering before opening, and the first thing he sees is the sky, a beautiful light blue sky with orange hue streaking. And then a face, one that he doesn’t recognize, hovers above him with a curious expression.

“How are you feeling?” Riku asks him, still hovering above him.

The being sits up too quickly, causing Riku to jump back, scared by the sudden movement.

He looks at Riku, curiously, wondering what he is before replying.

“I’m okay,” the being replies. “Where am I?”

“The forest.”

“Which forest?”

“...I don’t know. I just know it’s a forest,” Riku admits.

“Oh…”

“What are you?” Riku asks, his curiosity is too high to be ignored.

“What do you mean?” The being asks back. “You don’t know what I am?”

Riku shakes his head.

“I’ve never seen your kind before. You look similar to those humans, but your characteristics are different.”

“Of course I’m not them ,” the being says with a lot of spite. “Those things should have been extinct years ago.”

Riku stares at him, not really understanding the being’s anger.

“I’m a fairy,” the being ends up saying. “I used to live high up in the sky, where tall trees meet the clouds.”

“Oh…”

“What about you? You’re certainly not human, but you look similar.”

“I’m an android…”

“Like those robots that kill people?!” the being asks excitedly.

“No…I just collect data…”

“Ah…”

From then on, they form a rather unique friendship. Yushi, the being’s name, is a rather mischievous fairy, always teasing random animals by stealing their foods before returning them, or even using an elephant as his ride. Riku doesn’t really understand why that’s fun, and maybe that’s why Yushi likes to tease him too, because Riku reacts like those animals, all flustered and confused.

Their friendship is also built upon mutual trust, because Yushi seems to think that he owes Riku his life. It’s not true though, since Yushi has the ability to heal himself, but for Yushi, he seems to think that Riku is his savior.

That’s why when Riku travels far to record new species, Yushi follows him, as if he’s Riku’s bodyguard. Riku doesn’t mind it. After all, it’s nice to talk to someone and Yushi is his first real friend.

Their days are filled with exploration, going from one end to the other end, and resting in different places. At one point, Riku finds out about Yushi’s life story, a rather tragic one. His city above the sky was bombed by greedy humans, and Yushi ran to safety, moving from one spot to the next, unsure where he could be safe. And Riku himself told him his story, how he got chased for a long time until he reached this forest, his new home.

Their bond grows stronger, becoming too inseparable. Even at night time, Yushi uses Riku as his personal blanket, holding onto him as he sleeps, craving the warmth, while Riku sleeps in his usual position, letting Yushi wrap his arms around him. The animals even decide to give them space, as if thinking they’re a family who sticks together.

Despite Riku’s inability to have feelings, he still finds himself wondering how he feels about Yushi. He likes Yushi’s presence, it’s like a constant reassurance to have him beside him. And he has an idea of how Yushi feels about him. He thinks it's akin to love, something that humans feel, but he’s not completely sure if he’s right. He doesn’t even know what love feels like.

He just knows that Yushi likes to hug him a lot, and he’s not shy in kissing Riku’s cheek, despite knowing that Riku can’t feel the sensation. He sometimes wonders if he should warn Yushi, that he’ll never understand the feeling of love, or to be able to say it back.

“It’s okay, I don’t care about that,” Yushi tells him when Riku finally reminds him. “I like how we are, and I like having you beside me.”

“Won’t you feel sad one day that I can’t feel your hugs, or your kiss?”

“Maybe, but having you is already making me happy. And I don’t want to lose you,” he says as he looks into Riku's eyes. “I already lost enough.”

That’s something Riku can understand, not wanting to lose another precious thing. It’s why he drops the topic and hugs Yushi, causing the fairy to giggle in delight.

Chapter Text

Riku feels exhausted; his calves are sore, his eyes are starting to burn, and he knows that tomorrow is no different. This is what it feels like during the promotion cycle. There's no rest. There's no time to take a deep breath and close his eyes. There's only two or three hours of peace, always late at night, where they can finally lay down and not think.

It's tiring. It's hard. It's unlike his expectations and dreams, and yet Riku doesn't want to give up this life. It's not about the fans’ love or the amount of fame he receives. It's also about experiencing all of this with them, the members, and having that emotional and physical support from everyone. It's nice and heartwarming to have all of these things too.

But if he's truly honest, he doesn't think he'd be having this much fun if he didn't have Yushi beside him. It's like having a warm tea after a meal, a bath after a long day or hugging your favorite plushie as you sleep. It’s simply something extra that makes your day better, but to Riku, it makes all the difference.

A presence that cools his frustrations and disrupts his quiet nature. Unwavering warmth that gives him courage. And the sporadic touches that keeps him grounded and sane when his brain is too tired to think. All of these things make it easy for Riku to share his worries, and all of their moments make it easy for Riku to fall in love with him.

They don't talk about it. The growing affection between them, or the lingering touches that last longer than three seconds. It just becomes a mutual understanding that there is something between them. That was all it took for them to share the same bed every night, whether it's Riku's or Yushi's room, they'd fall asleep in each other's arms.

It's a habit that they can't let go, even tonight when it's just 2 hours of sleep, and Yushi waits for Riku in the elder's bed. He's laying down, patiently, wide awake despite his tired muscles are screaming at him. He knows he can fall asleep easily after this long day, but he also needs this brief couple moment between them. The few minutes where he can touch Riku without restraints, and the few minutes he can feel Riku's warm breathing on his neck. It's like desert after a good meal. He can't skip it.

So when Riku finally comes out of the bathroom with wet hair and a towel around his waist, Yushi takes his time to just stare, for as long as he wants. Even when Riku teases about his gaze or when he feels embarrassed by Yushi's desires, the younger doesn't care. This is their time.

And despite Riku's initial shyness, he also looks forward to this moment. Because Yushi has the tendency to wear the shortest shorts for sleepwear and it shows off his pretty pale thighs. It's too enticing and too beautiful to not be touched by Riku. That's how he ended up marking those thighs the other week. A hickey in Yushi's upper inner thigh, concealed by his briefs when they're in public. But the fact that they both know that it's there, it's thrilling.

And tonight is a continuation of that. Yushi has been impatient, complaining that the mark is fading whenever they're alone together. It makes Riku itch with desire, to recreate that mark and silently tell everyone that Yushi belongs to him. He ends up showering too fast, feeling the desire build up as he thinks about finally remaking the mark.

Now, he stands in front of Yushi, finally wearing his briefs despite feeling himself getting hard. Yushi pouts at him, wanting to dry Riku's hair as usual per routine, but Riku is impatient. He's already climbing into the bed, ignoring how drips of water are falling into the bedsheet. 

His hands are cautious at first, slowly touching Yushi's knee as if asking for permission. It's when Yushi spreads his legs that Riku scoots closer, trailing his fingers upward, ignoring how Yushi giggles at the ticklish sensation. And then he raises them up, bending them at the knees so it's easier later on.

Yushi looks silently at him, anticipation in his mind as Riku stares back at him. He watches as the elder kisses his knee, slowly trailing kisses down his inner thigh. It feels ticklish to Yushi, his skin is still not used to this kind of touching, and it's a good thing that Riku’s grip on his knee is strong. Despite that, he reacts to Riku's kisses, his erection forms easily and he can feel his ears going red when Riku finally takes off his shorts and briefs. He feels shy, completely naked in bed, but the shyness disappears when Riku goes back to his task.

It's a slow exploration where Riku kisses the sensitive skin, licking and gently biting when he hears a reaction from Yushi. It makes the younger restless despite staying still, and he wishes that Riku would also touch his erection like last time. But this time, Riku purposely ignores it, only wanting to create as many marks as he can to his thighs tonight.

It's only when Riku is done marking him up, he finally touches him. By then, Yushi is too sensitive, easily climaxing before the minute ends. He's breathless, sated, and he wants to touch Riku, but the elder won't let him.

“Not tonight,” Riku says softly. “When this promotion ends, I won't hold back anymore.”

Oh…

And that's how Yushi ends up relenting.

For now, he wraps his left arm around Riku's shoulders, and his right hand gently cradles Riku’s head. The elder nuzzles into his neck, yawning before slowly falling asleep. It's only then that Yushi leans in, silently inhaling Riku's hair as his finger twirls a stray hair. He takes his time caressing Riku's face, touching his beauty mole before slowly succumbing to sleep.

Chapter Text

As the eldest son of the Tokuno Merchant Group, TMG, Yushi was groomed to be the group's heir. He was brought up strict; following his father's rules and only befriending people that his father considers useful. He got used to this lifestyle. He wasn't even surprised when his father announced that his engagement was set. An arranged marriage that would secure unlimited supply of ores to sell, and a way for the Fukui village to become well known.

He didn't even know the details of the bride, other than the person being a year older and that he was the same gender as him. He was fine with that, he didn't care. There would be no love between them anyway.

So when he first met his fiancé, it was during his first visit to Fukui village. The purpose of the visit was to check on the quality of ores that Fukui could offer. Meeting his fiancé was next on their agenda. It was a hot, sizzling day when they met and Yushi could feel beads of sweat rolling down his back. He could see why some men in the village wore loose sleeveless shirts and he expected that his fiancé would wear the same thing.

He just didn't expect that his fiancé would be wearing something more fitting and pretty. It almost looked like a dress, one that accentuated his fiancé’s slim waist and showed off his fiancé’s tanned skin. But the most speechless thing was how he's so beautiful. The most ethereal person Yushi has ever met.

He couldn't say anything in that first meeting, simply staring and letting his father talk the whole time. Even as they stated their goodbye, the only thing he ended up doing was making eye contact with him, and it only lasted a minute. It felt bitter when he left Fukui, wishing he did more than just stare. For the first time ever, he wanted to know more about him, everything from his likes to his dislikes. Ever since then, he aimed for an objective, to be more confident the next time they met.

A year passed and Yushi turned twenty a few weeks ago. Which meant that his marriage will now move forward, faster than before. A dedicated team is handling the planning, and his father is the one deciding for everything, so technically, Yushi only has to show up on the day. Despite that, he still wants to know him better, his bride, Riku. His name is the second thing he learns about him, so he makes a request to his father, to go to Fukui and stay there for a few days. Surprisingly, the old man says yes, and Yushi is delighted by the decision.

In Fukui, he meets Riku alone, without anyone supervising them. It doesn't matter anyway if something happens between them, both families will want that. So they spend the next few days in an awkward state, getting to know each other, and they both wonder if this awkwardness will pass. Luckily, somehow, the string untangles by itself, as if fate takes a liking on them both, and that causes the catalyst of them becoming friends.

Their friendship slowly grows into corresponding through letters, writing every day about meaningless topics and sharing funny drawings. It feels different than Yushi's other friends, their conversation flows too easily. It’s why they have become inseparable, and how the letters slowly become more personal.

The next time they meet, there's no more hesitation from Yushi. He takes the first step when they're watching the sunset from a high cliff. The sky is a blend of blue and orange hues, and Riku looks too pretty tonight. He barely hears what Riku is saying when he decides to kiss him. It feels awkward; their noses almost bump into each other, and Riku doesn't even kiss him back. Yushi thinks he messed this up. Months of friendship down the drain just because he can’t withhold his desires. He wants to apologize and beg Riku to not hate him, but then he sees Riku covering his face, embarrassed by the recent event.

It's only when he lowers his hands that Yushi sees it, Riku's smile. The one thing that can weaken his heart and make him fluster.

“Not at our wedding?” The elder asks teasingly. “You're so impatient, Yushi.”

This time Yushi feels embarrassed, ears burning brightly, but he's smiling widely. It's true, he can't help it. He's so impatient to have Riku to himself.

So he tries his luck again, leaning in to kiss Riku. It's a greedy action, something he normally doesn't entertain since he's used to following his father's rules, but he doesn't care. That first kiss feels too short. Unfortunately, Riku pushes him away, gently, but firmly.

“You'll have to wait for our wedding,” Riku tells him. “I want our second kiss then, okay?”

Yushi nods, understanding his meaning, and he doesn't try anymore.

Their marriage happens three months later, with Yushi impatiently counting down every day. He's not nervous or anxious. He's just excited. Today is finally the day that they’ll belong to each other legally.

But he still has to wait until the end of the day, to be able to kiss Riku as much as he wants, and to hold the younger in a state of burning desire.

And the first time he sees Riku in his beautiful white wedding tunic, he thinks about how blessed he is. That he'll be the first and last person to love Riku. It makes him feel too giddy and delirious in happiness.

By the end of the day, Riku thinks Yushi will rip apart his clothes or kiss him breathlessly after the ceremony. But instead, Yushi holds him tightly, as if he's still in disbelief that Riku is finally his.

“I'm yours,” Yushi whispers.

“You are,” Riku confirms.

“I'm so happy,” he mutters quietly and Riku can only silently agree.

Despite this being an arranged marriage, Riku is glad that his husband is someone he can trust and fall in love with. They're still getting to know each other, but at least he knows that Yushi won't treat him unfairly.

Their first month of married life is the easiest, losing themselves to desire and ignoring reality. But once Yushi returns to work, Riku barely sees him. It's the kind of schedule where he sleeps alone and wakes up alone. It feels lonely. The only time they see each other is on weekends, and that's only because Yushi makes sure that his weekends are free.

As the longing grows deeper, Riku knows that he can't keep doing this, waiting for Yushi as if he's Yushi’s pet. So he finds a job where he sells a merchant’s products. At first, he doesn't think he'll do well, but somehow, he finds his talent in this type of work, and ends up making friends with different kinds of people. He's delighted about this new experience, but he's also worried about Yushi’s jealousy. Because to Yushi, he doesn't like the idea of sharing Riku with more people. So it takes him time to get used to the idea, and it takes a lot of kissing and coaxing for him to let the issue go.

Despite his reluctance, he understands it. Riku needs to build his own social life too. And he doesn't want to become like his father, restricting Riku and controlling the elder’s life. Luckily, their weekends never changed, it's always about them being alone together, traveling somewhere new and learning more about the other.

Chapter Text

If there was one thing Riku disliked about moving to the capital, it's how the people here are much more cunning. It's not just the merchants who have forked tongues, but so do their spouses. It's a competition to be well known in this capital, and Riku’s charming personality makes it easy for him to be well known in the spouse society.

It was during their engagement period that Riku learned how not all merchants are monogamous. Some took one spouse, while others may take up to five spouses. This is because some marriages are simply for strengthening their power, while some marry for love. For Yushi's case, it started as the former, but the public knew it became the latter later on. It was obvious the moment Yushi gifted Riku a bracelet with stars, the symbol commonly associated with TMG. It's the kind of gesture that would cause the envy of other people.

That's why Riku is often the target of false rumors and why some strangers try to seduce Yushi, wanting to stain their marriage. After all, Riku came from a lower background, and Yushi himself is considered to be a high status since TMG has been around for almost a century.

Despite their many evil plots, Riku is too smart to fall for their tricks, and he knows how to exact his revenge; silently and without leaving evidence. Yushi is sometimes amazed at his abilities, not expecting his husband to be good at this. So he gets worried that other merchants might steal Riku from him. After all, it's easier for merchants to tempt others’ spouses than for their spouses to seduce another merchant. There is still a group of merchants that is above Yushi’s class, and despite those merchants being too entitled to want someone who's low class, it's not uncommon for merchants to steal someone out of spite.

That's why Yushi tends to be overprotective with Riku, making sure there are always trusted guards with him when he goes out. It's the kind of protectiveness that makes Riku feel exasperated, but sometimes feels loved, because Yushi truly cares about his well being.

He understands the situation even more when a new merchant approaches him in the store. His intentions aren't obvious like many others; it's subtle, and Riku would have missed the hint if he didn't have a talent in understanding people. It makes him feel wary, because there are no obvious hints and the merchant’s behavior has been completely normal. There is no evidence of ill intent, which is why Riku is careful about what he says, and he makes sure that someone is always around when they interact.

For now, he plays the waiting game.

He knows the merchant will take his time so he figures that if anything were to happen, it'd be when Yushi is away from the capital. The younger needs to overlook new merchandises that come from the port, making sure things get delivered. It's one of the busiest times for Yushi, and a period that tests Riku’s longing. Their communications will end up being short letters.

During this separation time, Yushi leaves his best guard, Seto, behind and takes 10 other guards with him. Riku doesn't really like this plan, because Yushi will be more vulnerable than usual, but the younger has been stubborn about this and isn't willing to listen. So Riku relents for the sake of not wanting to fight before he leaves.

Their parting is always full of sadness as Riku clings to Yushi's arm, keeping hold of it and taking his hand into his. Their servants are still preparing Yushi’s carriage and they have some time. He can feel Yushi's hand squeezing his, giving him reassurance.

“It won't be a long trip,” Yushi says before facing him, brushing a strand of hair off Riku’s forehead.

“I'll be okay,” Riku tells him, despite feeling sad.

Yushi steps closer and touches Riku's cheek, stroking it. Riku smiles as he leans against the touch, knowing he'll miss it as soon as Yushi leaves.

“Don’t do anything reckless while I'm gone. Especially with that merchant that keeps hanging around lately.”

“It'll be fine,” Riku reassures him but Yushi feels uneasy after knowing Riku is planning something. “You left Seto with me. He'll guard me well,” Riku says while rubbing Yushi's bare arm in reassurance. He steps in closer and hugs Yushi from the side before kissing his cheek softly.

Yushi can only sigh silently before facing himself at Riku, wrapping his arm around the elder’s waist and cupping his cheek. He leans in and kisses his lips, before licking his bottom lips and slipping his tongue in uninvited. He makes Riku feel his worry and love through this kiss, and doesn't let go, even when Riku feels embarrassed by the audience.

He smiles when Riku smacks his arm for kissing him too long. After all, the elder is more shy about public affection than Yushi is, a fact that makes Yushi feel mischievous.

They finally part goodbye and Riku feels the heaviness of parting. It’s something he'll never get used to, because being with Yushi gives him a sense of peace. But slowly, as each hour passes, he lets this pain ebb and hardens his heart, until the day Yushi returns to him, softening it again.

He doesn't have to wait long for that mysterious merchant to make his first move. It’s no longer subtle actions, it feels impatient in his opinion. The merchant approaches in broad daylight, his smile feels leecherious and off putting, but Riku plays along. He needs the merchant to touch him publicly so he can accuse him of assaulting. He thinks he's close to getting that proof, feeling happy that his plan is working well, but he didn't realize his common mistake, thinking that these people won't try for something more.

By the time he realizes something was wrong, he's already succumbing to the sleeping drug and unable to keep his eyes open. The last thought in his head was Yushi and how he wished the elder was here. His heart thumps loudly and he can feel tears forming in his eyes as he wishes that nothing horrible will happen to him.

He finally wakes up, in a daze, feeling lethargic, blinking his eyes many times as he looks at the ceiling. It's a familiar sight to him and his heart starts beating faster as he recalls his last memory. He doesn't know what happened, bad thoughts keep forming in his mind, and he's panicking. Tears cloud his eyes as he thinks about his bad decisions, and Yushi finding out the truth, that something horrible happened to him and finally deciding to leave him. Because it's a rare thing for someone as high class as Yushi to stick around when their spouse falls victim to assault. It's unheard of, and it makes more sense for Yushi to find a new spouse who's still “pure”.

The emotions that go through his mind feel vivid and intense, and it clouds any other rational thoughts, because to Riku, losing Yushi means losing a part of himself. He doesn't know how to move on from that heartbreak, let alone accept the fact that Yushi would fall in love with someone better.

And that's how Yushi finds him, after half an hour, crying his eyes out and trying to contain his noises. He's inconsolable, even when Yushi holds him in his arms and tries to get him to calm down. In the end, he falls asleep in Yushi’s arms, without being able to say his thoughts.

It's only the next day that he hears the story, from Yushi himself. He doesn't realize he's been withholding his breath in anxiety until he hears the ending.

Nothing happened. Yushi was smart enough to think of everything, because he's used to this kind of life, expecting the worst out of everyone. That's why there were contingency plans in motion, even if Yushi was miles away. Despite that, Yushi became furious when he found out that Riku was drugged by something dangerous. It was the kind of anger that most of Yushi's servants haven't seen, and it even caused Seto to be wary of him. It makes Riku feel uneasy and guilty, knowing that he made Yushi become this person. He wants Yushi to scold him, to take away his rights to work in a merchant's store, but Yushi doesn't do any of that. He keeps loving Riku, as always.

At first, it's hard for Riku to accept this decision, to not punish him and be lenient. But Yushi's reasoning is clear.

“I promised to protect you. It's the only power I have in our life. I can't stop their words or their plans, but I'll try my best to keep you safe,” he says one night when they're in bed. “Even if you're wrong, how can I care about that when I'm glad that you're alright.”

“Others will disagree with you,” Riku mutters against his chest.

“Does it matter? I only care about what you think of me,” Yushi says cheekily.

Riku holds him tighter, feeling his emotions stabilizing over time and exhaling slowly. It'll take time to get over this, but he’s okay now. He's learned something over this experience and he's going to be smarter than before.

Chapter Text

“Is this a date?”

When Yushi asks that question, it’s simply a harmless question, something he’s curious about at that moment. It's not that he wants this to be a date. It's not that he cares about this moment. He’s simply just curious.

After all, this is the first time they are actually alone, just the two of them and a few cameras. It feels like they are being watched by inquisitive fans, and it feels too naked to exchange a meaningful moment at this time. That is why Yushi pulls his hand away when Riku wants to hold it.

He feels shy, awkward and flustered at that moment. It was like he went back into time, experiencing his first crush on a handsome guy. He doesn’t understand why he can’t behave like himself. Maybe it's the cameras, maybe it's how his heart keeps distracting him. But he knew it from the moment he realized that he likes Riku, that he doesn't know how to hide it.

Maybe that's why he can't consider this moment as a date. It's not intimate, like the way he has imagined it a hundred times. It's not just them alone, like the way he wants it to be. So it makes him feel a little sad. He wants to do this again, just them, without a camera, and to be able to hold Riku's hand without restraint.

That’s why a week later Yushi puts forth his plan. It's the first time they're in Japan after days being stuck in Korea. He knows it'll be easier for them to walk around anonymously than in Korea. So he wakes up early, the day after they arrive, and climbs into Riku’s bed. The elder is already awake, looking at his phone, and not paying attention to him. Yushi doesn't mind it as he snuggles against Riku, inching his face closer to Riku’s neck, inhaling his scent. It's familiar and soothing, and he can fall back asleep like this, but he's determined to redo their walk.

“Riku,” he whispers to him.

Silence. Riku is still distracted by this new anime. So Yushi pouts and pokes his cheek, repeatedly, until Riku gives him some attention. The elder chuckles at the younger’s tenacity.

“Yes?” Riku only says without looking at him, smiling as he keeps watching.

“Come take a walk with me,” Yushi mutters.

“What? Why?”

“Rikuuuu,” Yushi drawls softly and with a slight whine. “Walk with me. Please?”

It’s the way Yushi sounds so desperate and cute that makes Riku stumble, almost dropping his phone to his chest. He shouldn't be this whipped and should have some dignity, but liking Yushi has made him become a rather weak, simped man.

“Alright, alright,” Riku says, pretending to sound cool and exasperated, but deep inside, he's nervous and excited.

They end up leaving a few minutes later with their masks on, going to a nearby park. Yushi purposely slows down his pace, matching Riku's leisure walk, having their hands brush a few times. They can't be careless yet since they keep passing by office workers and students. It's only when they're inside the park that Yushi loosens up. He silently takes some of Riku's fingers into his hand and hooks it to his fingers. It feels better this time, without anyone else spying on them.

The mood feels similar too. The shrubs that surround them, the echoing sound of cicadas in the background, and the somewhat tepid morning temperature that doesn't feel humid yet. It's reminiscent of their failed walk, but this time, Yushi can hold Riku’s hand happily.

“Are we just walking today?” Riku asks, still confused on what was the purpose of today.

“Mhm,” Yushi confirms. “It's a date,” he says so casually that Riku stumbles on his feet, almost losing his balance.

The elder grins, smiling shyly as he looks at the ground momentarily, wondering what happened to Yushi today. He sometimes doesn't understand what goes on inside that boyish, prince-like mind. He should have been more like Sion, always seeing Yushi as this young guy who's never quite mature, but somehow, even when Riku tries his hardest to only see Yushi’s bad qualities, it just makes it easier for him to love him. It's the kind of falling in love that most people say it’s natural. Maybe that's why Riku gave up, a long time ago, and just let himself be pulled into Yushi’s whims.

“Then, I'll be your girlfriend,” Riku tells him cheekily and changes their hand holding style to intertwine. He steps closer to Yushi, their arms almost rubbing against each other as they walk side by side. “Yu-chan, I'm hungry,” Riku says cutely, fluttering his eyes. “Let's go find a bakery.”

“Sure,” Yushi replies, grinning back at him as they walk. “Let's eat something yummy together.”

“But let's go back before the others wake up, so we have some time alone,” Riku says, holding Yushi's gaze this time confidently. He wants Yushi to understand the meaning behind his words.

“Mhm, so we can cuddle again,” Yushi confirms.

Riku stares at Yushi, wondering if the younger one actually understands his meaning, but Yushi is just smiling like a simple fool, and it makes Riku giggle. He shakes his head in adoration, scolding himself for wanting to ruin Yushi's innocence.

They keep walking, hands still holding onto each other, this time more slowly, as if neither wants this moment to end.

By the time they arrive at the nearest bakery, Riku forces himself to let go of Yushi's hand and they enter separately. He takes a tray and tongs, and starts to pick out his favorite breads. Yushi has somehow disappeared from his side, probably distracted by other kinds of bread. When the younger one returns, he already has 10 kinds of bread on his tray, as if he's been starving for weeks.

“Are you skipping breakfast in the hotel?” Riku asks amusedly.

“You said you wanted to cuddle…” Yushi mutters quietly and Riku looks away embarrassed, remembering his suggestion. “You're also buying a lot,” Yushi accuses back.

“They are also for the members! I got these two for Saku-chan, four are mine and the rest they can fight over.”

“So, we're done?”

Riku nods and they head for the register. He's about to whip out his wallet to pay since he's technically the responsible one, but Yushi stops him.

“That's not your role today,” Yushi reminds him that he's the boyfriend today, not Riku.

It makes Riku feel giddy, flustered and happy at being spoiled by Yushi. He wishes he can kiss the younger already, missing his affection.

They walk back to the hotel through the park again. Slowly, thumbs caressing each other's hands, and enjoying the peace of not having fans analyzing their every move and word. The tension starts to build up and keeps rising up, tickling their neck and twitching their fingers. They avoid each other's gaze in the elevator, as if they both know that the thin string will break soon.

It's only when they're inside their room again that Riku pulls Yushi back into his personal space, hugging him from behind, pressing his nose into Yushi's neck. One deep inhale and one stuttered exhale, releasing the tension slowly. Yushi becomes pliable at this moment, simply turning around in Riku's embrace and facing him.

A warm, sweaty hand cups Riku's cheek and Yushi leans in with eyes still open. Riku closes his eyes, letting Yushi take the lead and kisses him back. The younger is still inexperienced, only brave in making the first move in everything , but doesn't know what comes next. That's Riku’s role, to make things wilder and more sensuous.

And that's how they lose themselves in each other for the next five minutes. 2 bags of bread forgotten on the floor, the chilly air flowing around them, and the sound of Yushi moaning in the air. It's addicting, shivering and sensitive.

Fuck, I just want to stay in this moment forever

The identical thought that stays in their minds.

An hour later has them both lying in bed, both already ate, but neither has showered or prepared their luggages. They're kissing again, soft pecks mixed with random words, promises that there will be a next date, a next kiss and a next cuddle. It feels tantalizing to stay in this position, uncaring of consequences. Maybe that's why it's a good thing that Sion is the leader, because Riku thinks he's been reckless lately, and he doesn't care enough to want to behave like a good boy.

It's only when Sion calls for the third time and him sending Sakuya and Ryo to their room that they finally let go of each other. Riku goes to shower first and Yushi is stuck being the host.

“You went to the bakery without me?!” Sakuya practically yells in protest, ignoring Ryo’s look of distaste. “Hyung, I thought you loved me.”

“Just be glad Riku bought you two kinds of bread,” Yushi simply says, as if hinting that he wouldn't buy him any at all.

“It's so unfair.”

“What time did you guys go?”

“Around 6.”

“Wow, so early,” Ryo notes.

There's a knock on the door and Yushi gestures to Ryo to open it, but the younger refuses. He sighs heavily as he walks to open the door. He sees Daeyoung and gestures to him to come inside.

“Sion hyung asked me to make sure you two are ready,” Daeyoung tells him as he enters.

“I packed already, I just need to shower. Riku needs to put his stuff inside,” Yushi tells him.

“Ahh, I'll go collect his stuff then,” Daeyoung says as he looks around the room.

“Take a bread from the bag too,” Yushi tells him as he hands over the plastic bag.

“They went to the bakery without me,” Sakuya tells Daeyoung with a pout.

“Aww,” Daeyoung coos and ruffles Sakuya’s hair before opening the bag.

At that time, Riku comes out of the bathroom with wet hair, but he already has his boxers on. Yushi walks up to him, prepared to dry his hair like a good boyfriend. Riku leans down and lets Yushi ruffle his hair, drying the tips.

“Stop flirting. You can dry his hair another time,” Ryo complains in the background and boos at them.

Sakuya is too busy telling Daeyoung which one to take so he can have the leftovers. 

“It should be good now,” Riku tells him with a small smile, looking up to Yushi's eyes.

“It still looks wet,” Yushi pouts.

“Go shower,” Riku says instead and pecks his lips quickly, as if knowing it'll pacify the younger's tension.

“Okay, fine,” Yushi whines a little before grabbing his boxer and walking to the bathroom.

Riku quickly gets ready once the younger is gone and starts to pack up their shared luggage. As per usual, Riku tidies up Yushi's side while putting in his stuff too. He doesn't like it when things are not properly organized. It doesn't take him long anyway and it feels therapeutic.

By the time he's done, Sakuya has eaten another bread, Daeyoung is watching a random clip with Ryo and Yushi has finally exited the bathroom.

There is still thirty minutes before check out time. Sion finally enters their room, checking the progress.

“Yushi, come on,” Sion says exaggeratedly once he sees a half naked Yushi.

Yushi waves him off as he simply gestures to Riku to help him dress.

“How old are you?” Riku asks, amused by the request, but willing to dress him as Yushi lifts arms up and Riku pulls down his shirt.

Sion rolls his eyes at the couple as he goes back texting his own boyfriend. Which means that Yushi can push the limit again, by making Riku help with his jeans.

“Seriously, prince Yushi,” Riku softly complains as he pulls up the jeans. Yushi simply grins before pecking Riku's lips. “It should have been the opposite, me taking it off," Riku says quietly to Yushi, grinning at Yushi's shocked expression.

He laughs even more when Yushi pushes him away, feeling embarrassed, and walking off to hug Daeyoung for comfort.

It's only later on in the car to the airport that they finally get a chance to relive their moment. Sitting too close, warm thighs pressed against each other, and Riku’s head leaning on Yushi's shoulder. Their hands are intertwined again, holding tightly, never letting go. Even when they can hear bickering in the background or Daeyoung humming softly, this is still a precious moment to them.

Chapter Text

He's so pretty. So pretty that Riku questioned himself if he actually liked girls in the past. There's no way that those girls could compare to him, Tokuno Yushi. The most ethereal, boy next door, prince visual that has graced his eyes.

He thinks he's infatuated by Yushi’s charms. How the younger one loves ramen, obsesses over spicy snacks, has an addiction to bubble tea, and is a great soccer player. It's why he can't escape from his grasp, always taking a glance whenever they're in the same room. He stares at him when he spots him through the window, and he wishes to befriend him when he sees him with his friends. This crush feels jittery.

It's the first time he fell for a cute guy and he doesn't know what to do. It's not like with girls, they always surround him as if he's their ember. It feels new and scary at times, and he wishes that he can go back to liking girls, but at the same time, he doesn't want to. He wants to keep falling, deeper than before, blinder than ever, and enjoy this first boy love.

Yeah, he wants this cute guy to be his first love.

That's why he wrote this letter. A confession letter that he'd never imagined doing, but here he is, writing it for Yushi. It's simple, it's straightforward, but most of all, it's anonymous. Yushi will never know it's from him, and he can just let his darkest feelings out momentarily.

Dear Yu-chan,

I was unlucky from the first time I saw you. Damn you! If you happen to notice me, don't smile at me. Otherwise, please send me your heart.

With straight hair and amazing muscles,

Attractive man crush

**

Yushi sees another letter in his locker. It's inserted into a blue with red borders envelope, with his name written on it. He always receives these confession letters lately, almost three letters per day. But this is the first time he receives it in a multi color envelope, as if the person wants to attract his attention. That's probably the only reason why he decides to open it, when he usually just throws it out. After all, he doesn’t want to give them false hope, when there's never any attraction between him and girls. He always did prefer good looking guys.

So when he opens the letter, he expects it to be an emotional letter or a plea from the girl, but instead, he finds the letter to be funny. He thinks it's cutely written, and he wonders who wrote it, because it's the kind of letter that'll spark his attention, if he is into girls. Most of all, he wonders why the writing is too scribbled, when girls usually write so prettily. He thinks this person might be a guy, especially since the person crossed out the word ‘man’. It makes him curious, wondering who else is like him, having crushes on cute looking guys.

Though, it doesn't matter. For Yushi, he only has one person stuck in his mind, forever popping up randomly with his cute smile, making his ears red when he thinks about him. Maeda Riku is his name, and too many people are in love with him. Yushi knows he can't beat those girls. Riku is probably a normal guy unlike him. Still, he likes to imagine a reality where he’s dating Riku and kisses him without restraint.

For now, he can only stare from afar, through windows and long hallways, and secretly takes a photo when Riku looks handsome. It's his only solace.

Though after reading this confession letter, he thinks he should be as brave as this person. If this guy can confess without worries, then Yushi should be able to also. He can't be beaten by some average looking person.

**

Riku,

Our school may be in the top 10.

Our soccer team might win the nationals.

But Maeda Riku? He wins my heart.

Yushi Secret admirer

Chapter Text

Let's wait, Yushi.

It all started with that promise. They were trainees when Riku said those words, and he didn't even know if he could keep that promise, but at that time, he didn't want to ruin both of their dreams. They both wanted to be idols, and Yushi has been chasing this dream since he was a kid. So it was unfair to both of them if they ruined their dreams just because they started liking each other.

It's just a crush, anyway .

That was what he kept telling himself over time. He figured he'd get over Yushi one day, maybe in a year or two. After all, they'll see each other every day and they'll eventually feel less attracted to each other. That was the hope that Riku had.

What he didn't expect was the improvement of their camaraderie, the easiness of becoming best friends with Yushi, and the comfort they shared between each other. As if fate knew from the beginning that their souls would always intertwine. By then, Riku couldn't ignore the signs anymore. The gravitational pull towards each other, that even when they were told to stay apart, they still looked for the other. The way their fingers could find each other, easily and surely, with no hesitation between them. But most of all, it was the longing gazes, the unnoticeable smiles and the insurmountable feelings that couldn't be contained anymore.

I like you.

Yushi whispered that one night, courageously and stubbornly. He couldn't hide this feeling anymore. It was obvious in his face when he looked at Riku. It was obvious to inquisitive fans who supported them both. And it was obvious to Riku himself.

By now, he couldn't avoid the question that Yushi kept asking him. Could they be more than friends and endure this gruesome path? Could they date without worrying about the consequences if they ended up breaking up?

For Riku, he was old and mature enough to have been through all that. His first kiss. His first love. But he knew that for Yushi, Riku would be his first love, possibly his first kiss, and maybe his first heartbreak. So he told Yushi his condition, a condition that may seem like he was postponing things, but he wanted Yushi to be sure. He wanted the younger to make a decision when he was no longer a teenager.

Let's wait, Yushi. Let's wait until you're 20. If your feelings haven't changed, and you still want to take this risk with me, then let's do it.

That was the start of the promise, and that became the catalyst that changed their relationship.

Yushi's 20th birthday came with a lot of fanfare. They were shooting the teaser of their next single during Yushi’s birthday and the members planned a lot to celebrate his birthday later on. Even Riku felt excited for him, it was the younger’s turn to become an adult. He was excited that they've become the same age for a short period of time. In his excitement, he forgot about his promise and he didn't expect Yushi to remind him later that night.

“I'm twenty now,” Yushi said to him as they faced each other. “Do you remember your promise?”

Riku opened his mouth to say his worries and to remind Yushi that not all relationships last, but he couldn't. Not when Yushi looked nervous in front of him.

“I like you,” the younger one reaffirmed his feelings. “It’s been so long that I don't remember not liking you.”

“You like me that much?” Riku asked with a nervous chuckle.

“I don't want anyone else taking care of you,” Yushi admitted, exposing the depthness of his feelings.

Riku smiled at him, feeling the longingness from Yushi's words. He stepped forward and brushed Yushi's cheek gently before letting go.

“What if I don't want to take this risk? Will you let go of me?”

Yushi shook his head.

“I'll wait,” the younger looked at Riku's eyes, even if the elder looked away. “Even if you won't take the next step, I'll wait until you will.”

“You'll get over me by then.”

“I won't!” Yushi denied vehemently. “I’m yours,” he said confidently. He hesitantly reached out and grabbed Riku's arm, slowly descending to take his hand. He held onto it, gently squeezing it as he wondered what Riku would say next.

Riku himself looked at their hands. There were so many thoughts running amok in his mind, but all he could think about was this hand. The feel of Yushi's smaller hand in his, the warmth that they were sharing, and not wanting to let go. Yeah. He really couldn't imagine letting go of this hand.

So he looked up and steeled himself when he saw Yushi’s expression. It was full of worries, confusion and hope that Riku wouldn't abandon him on this island of feelings.

I like you – Riku admitted to himself as he exhaled a breath.

I love you – Riku couldn't help but feel as his next thought.

The elder knew for a long time that he couldn't hide these feelings too. If he was as transparent as Yushi, he would be showcasing his love too, without restraints. In fact, he would probably be more of a fool in love than Yushi, considering how he's such a romantic.

So he took a step forward, the easiest step ever, and wrapped an arm around Yushi's waist.

“Please take care of me,” the elder said softly, as if it was a secret between them, but to Yushi, it made his heart soar. It was the confirmation that he needed, that they could be more than just friends.

It was then that Riku leaned in close, as if giving Yushi the chance to change his mind, to forget Riku and live a normal idol life, but the younger didn't move. They stared at each other before Riku's eyes fell on his lips, and somehow, instinctively, Yushi knew it was time to close his eyes.

Riku thought about this moment, a million times over the months, wondering how he'd kiss Yushi for the first time. He didn't know if it would be on their first date or randomly when they're at the dorm. He just knew that he'd do it gently, as if testing the water before diving in. So he cupped Yushi's cheek again, tilting his head before leaning in.

It was simply a gentle peck, with his face hovering against Yushi’s afterwards, wondering if that was enough to ruin the younger’s innocence. He didn't plan on kissing him again, thinking that was enough for one night. But Yushi just had to tempt him, the way his tongue peaked out and licked his lips, as if licking the residue left behind by Riku’s lips.

He should have known. Yushi would bring out the desires within him.

That was probably the reason why Riku kissed him again, this time no longer shy or tentative. The firmness of his lips against Yushi’s, licking his lips and holding his head still with his hand. The taste was addicting , and the sensation of Yushi’s hand gripping Riku’s shirt made it better. As if neither wanted to let go of the other.

By the time Riku pulled away, he was breathless and Yushi still held onto him, as if letting go would make Riku disappear.

“Yu-chan…” Riku started to say, wanting to apologize and possibly repent for behaving like a hormonal teenager. But he didn't get to say it. Yushi grabbed and hugged him, as if he couldn't believe what happened himself. His wish, his longing and his Riku, all in one night. “Happy birthday,” the elder ended up saying before hugging him back.

Yushi closed his eyes and thought it was a good birthday, and he couldn't wait to celebrate Riku’s birthday too.

Chapter Text

It all started with a picture, a rather suspicious picture because it's the kind of picture you'd take secretly when the target isn't looking. Yushi should have been more cautious, especially since he hasn't transferred the new pictures he took to the secret 黒ねこ folder. The new ones are still in his Camera folder. That's why it's so easy for Yushi to accidentally send the wrong picture to the group, without realizing the consequences. By then, it was too late.

NCT (25 people)

Yushi: Yeah, I tried that bubble tea place before. It's really good.

Yushi: *attaches a picture of Riku* I ordered this one.

Yushi: Oops, wrong picture.

Yushi panics as he nervously deletes the picture, but by then, most of the hyungs have seen it.

Chenle: I did not know you could order a Riku flavor.

Haechan: I don't know…I'm not really into Japanese men…

Johnny: Did you pay extra to have it hot? 🔥

Ten: That's not fair…you said we can't show off our muscles here…

Yuta: Wow…Riku-chan looks so cool 😮

Jeno: Ouuh nice…his muscles are developing well.

Yushi immediately closes the messaging app in embarrassment and tries his best to not think about his mistake because they have a long schedule today. Unfortunately, somehow Ryo saw what happened, and he tattles to the other members when they're sitting in the waiting room.

Sion can't help but fall to the ground in laughter when he hears about it. The rest of the team tease him for being clumsy. His only consolation is that Riku wasn't around when the truth spilled out.

“Hyung, what does Riku hyung taste like?” Ryo asks teasingly.

Daeyoung laughs at the absurd question.

“Does Riku hyung know yet?” Sakuya asks.

“Don't tell him!” Yushi says to them in a panic. He’s already embarrassed enough that he made this mistake. He doesn't want to show an uncool side to Riku too.

“Why not?” Sakuya wonders, thinking it's not a big deal.

“It’s not like you can hide it from him. He's in the group chat too,” Ryo reminds him. “You might as well tell him now before someone else does.”

“But…” Yushi pouts as he thinks about it.

As much as he knows he should tell him, he doesn't want Riku to laugh at him. It was fine if Riku laughed at him because he messed up the choreography or the interview, but this mistake feels more personal. As if Yushi will feel sad if the one guy he likes will laugh at him for showcasing his feelings. It'd be like making fun of his confession publicly.

“I don't want him to laugh at me too,” Yushi says truthfully, causing the others to sober up from their teasing.

It’s rare to see Yushi in this condition, somber and anxious about something. They realize at that moment that Riku’s opinion holds the most weight for him. So they crowd him, patting his back and giving him encouragement to not be sad.

“Why would he laugh at you?” Sion asks, ruffling his hair in comfort. “He's not childish like us. I'm sure that if he does laugh, it won't be because he's making fun of you.”

“Hyung, don't worry, we won't tell him. If you don't want him to know, we can steal his phone and delete those messages,” Daeyoung suggests.

“But what if the other hyungs message him privately and tease him about it?” Ryo asks.

“I’ll ask Doyoung hyung to pacify them,” Sion says to them. “Don’t worry. I got your back,” he grins at Yushi.

At that moment, Riku enters the room after having finished his makeup and sees the group huddling together for some reason.

“What happened?” He asks curiously before noticing Yushi's crestfallen expression. “Yu-chan, what's wrong?”

“I…”

“Yushi hyung said he's not feeling well,” Ryo immediately lies. “He was asking for hugs, but I don't think he likes my hug anyway.”

“Yeah, I hugged him and he said I wasn’t warm enough. So picky!” Sion continues the lie while shaking his head.

“I can hug you,” Sakuya says, unable to read the room, which is why Ryo immediately hugs him. Sakuya complains loudly that he didn't ask for this.

“He probably likes your hug the best,” Sion reasons as he pushes Yushi gently towards Riku.

Riku knows they're being weird for some reason, but he opens his arms anyway and pulls Yushi into his embrace. He thinks hugging Yushi is a better choice than figuring out what they’re planning. So he places his chin on Yushi’s shoulder and wraps his arms around Yushi’s upper back. It's a tight embrace that makes Yushi's heart thump loudly.

The elder can feel Yushi relax his body against him and he pats his head in amusement.

“Aww, see, he looks better now,” Sion grins as he takes a picture of them.

NCT (25 people)

Doyoung: Don't tease the babies…

Jaemin: Who’s bullying my kids??! 😡

Chenle: They're not dating tho…or are they??? @Yushi come back here and explain young man!

Mark: But it's so cute. It's like puppy love 😍

Haechan: At least it's not a dick pic 🤷🏻‍♂️

Johnny: Aren't they too young to be sending that kind of thing?

Haechan: I'm sure they have a better tact than a certain someone…

Mark: It was ONE time!!!

Renjun: @Haechan seriously…what's wrong with you… we have minors in this chat…

Haechan: @Renjun Injunnie I miss you 🥹

Jisung: Guys, please…we're being bad role models here…

Doyoung: Sigh…

Sion: *attaches a picture of Riku and Yushi hugging* Don't worry hyungs! They're fine 😬

Jaemin: Ahhh so cute 😍😍

Mark: OMG why are they so cute ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Chenle: @Sion so they are dating? I see…

Yuta: I thought he didn't confess yet 😮

Ten: Aww cuties

Jaemin: @Jeno how come you never hug me like that anymore?

Renjun: 🥹

Haechan: @Mark you're doing it wrong! Their icons are ❤️💙!

Mark: Oh!!

***

Riku doesn't usually check his phone during his schedule. He prefers to focus on practicing his dance and preparing his words. But he suddenly remembers that he has a package coming today and he needs to check if it has arrived yet. So he checks his text messages and sees a bunch of new messages. He thinks it's normal that the NCT group chat has 300 unread messages, but he finds it surprising that he has messages from Yuta senpai and a few other hyungs that he rarely converse with. He starts to wonder if he did something wrong because he's usually not this popular.

Yuta

Why didn't you tell me that you confessed??!!

Congrats!

Riku stares at the message with much confusion before replying to it with a bunch of question marks and asking for more details. Then he opens the other messages from the other hyungs, and they're basically teasing him for having a great body. He doesn't even know how to reply to that so he's just scratching his head. He's about to check the NCT group chat for some clues, but then he sees Yuta senpai replying back.

Yuta

Oh is it not true?

Did you not see the group chat yet?

Yushi-chan posted a picture of you by mistake. We were teasing him and Chenle thought you two were dating.

Riku

We're not dating!

Which picture? 😮

Yuta

You were shirtless and facing to the side.

It's definitely a picture I wouldn't take of my friend.

You better confess already.

Or I'm kicking your ass when we meet up.

Riku feels embarrassed as he reads Yuta senpai’s messages. He didn't expect Yushi to accidentally broadcast his feelings into the NCT group by mistake.

He's not surprised though by the revelation. He knew, since a while ago, that Yushi is behaving differently towards him. He did think that the younger one might like him, but he wasn't completely sure of how much . Because Yushi was the kind of person who could love the smallest thing passionately. So he was worried that it was just a crush for Yushi, and that it might be a fleeting crush. But reading Yuta senpai's messages, he's beginning to think that his worries were for naught.

So he goes to the group chat and scrolls up to the last message he read. He starts reading the new messages as his heart keeps beating loudly.

It's only after reading most of the messages that Riku feels flustered and giddy. He wonders if he should confess now, or should he wait and plan something romantic. Or maybe he should post something into the group chat, reply to Yushi’s message, as if confirming his feelings too.

As he thinks about these things, he ends up running into Yushi. The younger is sitting down alone, looking somber as he stares at his phone, as if he doesn't know what he should do anymore.

Riku looks at him worriedly, realizing that this is no longer a guessing game anymore. Yushi has already advertised his crush to everyone and the younger never received a reply from Riku. He's just left wondering how Riku would react to that post and if their friendship is ruined due to that.

The elder feels sad as he realizes that he’s not behaving any better than the other hyungs. He's teasing Yushi cruelly, despite not meaning to.

“Yu-chan…” Riku finally greets him without hesitation.

“Riku!” Yushi replies, almost stumbling to stand up. “H…hi.”

“Hi,” Riku says back softly. “So… I saw that you shared my picture in the group chat…”

“Th…that was an accident,” Yushi says as he reaches out and grabs Riku’s hand. “I didn't mean to and they keep teasing us…”

“It's fine. I know you didn't mean it,” Riku tells him, squeezing his hand. “It's not like I didn't know how you feel. You always did like me a lot.”

Yushi blushes at those words, not expecting Riku to call him out.

“It’s not like that,” Yushi bites his lower lip before continuing. “I just thought you looked pretty that day. That's why I took it…”

“Was I?” Riku asks, amused by the younger’s reason. “Does that mean you only like my face?” The elder asks with a pout. “Can't you like Riku too?”

Yushi looks up in surprise, eyes staring at Riku’s expression, wondering why the elder suddenly asked that. It's giving him painful hope.

“Because I like everything about Yu-chan,” the elder says without hesitation as he stares back at the younger. “Even this tiny scar on your cheek,” Riku says softly as he touches the small indent on Yushi's cheek.

The younger blushes even more at the action, feeling overwhelmed by Riku’s words. He grabs Riku's hand and holds both of them.

“I like everything about you too,” he says shyly, looking up at Riku before looking down again, unable to keep eye contact.

Riku lifts up their hands and kisses Yushi's fingers, as if confirming their feelings towards each other.

Riku

*Attaches a picture of him holding hands with Yushi* I told him.

Yuta

That's my boy! 👍

Congrats ❤️

Chapter Text

There’s a damp and warm sensation in his front, slowly pulling him out of his slumber. It feels familiar, like this faint scent of vanilla and sandalwood from Riku's neck. It's comforting, and it makes him want to stay in bed all day because Riku hasn't left his arms.

He sighs wistfully, squeezing his arms against Riku's body, feeling it squirm against him. He kisses Riku’s neck from behind, the dampness sticks to his lips and he can taste the saltiness. His nose nuzzles against the short, wet hair, inhaling that scent again.

Ahh… Riku's scent is the best

The kinky thought returns to his mind, making him smile against Riku’s skin. If he can stick to Riku all day, this would be his favorite position. The way his front is pressed against Riku's back, and how his hands are free to touch Riku’s chest. But most of all, the fact that he can grind his erection against Riku without restraint, and possibly touch Riku's erection too.

It's like his urges are slowly unraveling, freeing itself against the metal bars, and escaping wildly. It makes him enjoy the little things he can't enjoy on a regular day. Like groping Riku's chest and rubbing that nipple without shame, or rubbing against Riku's firm ass, just because he can. It makes him feel giddy and high on pleasure, that is until Riku squirms and tells him to stop.

“Yu-chan,” the low, rumble tone that makes Yushi melt.

He might be a little in love with Riku’s deep timber.

“Not here,” the elder reminds him. “We can't keep changing the sheets.”

Yushi pouts against Riku's neck, no longer humping against him, but his hand is still pressed against Riku's chest. He feels more awake now, his eyes are not as half lidded as before.

“Bathroom?” He asks the elder, feeling impatient and horny.

“Let me wake up first,” Riku chuckles softly before yawning and blinking his eyes.

He doesn't move from his spot, content feeling the warmth of Yushi’s limbs wrapped around him. Even the naughty hand inside his shirt feels nice, and he kind of wants Yushi to continue again.

This morning is an indulgence between the both of them, and Riku wants more , feeling the selfishness grow inside him.

“Yu-chan, touch me,” he says without any shyness.

Yushi already knows his preferences well. Riku likes the sensation to be gentle, rubbing the nub against his thumb and gently playing with it between his two fingers. And sometimes he wants Yushi to lick it, or to flick against it with his tongue, giving him a different sensation.

He must be full of tension since it's only been a few minutes of groping and his erection feels too constrained against his boxers. He can technically rub himself for a quick release, with how strung out he feels, but he's been imagining him and Yushi in the bathroom, rubbing against each other to completion.

“Bathroom now?” Yushi asks, breathlessly against his neck.

“Okay,” Riku relents, unable to hold it anymore. “We have to be quieter, not like last time,” he reminds Yushi.

Riku slowly sits up, untangling himself from Yushi's limbs before standing up. He goes to the bathroom first, somewhat in a rush before hearing Yushi coming out after him.

As soon as the bathroom door closes, there is nothing else stopping them from finding their release.

Chapter Text

Riku thinks he's lucky he was born into a middle class family. He's able to compete with other young alphas in numerous gathering events, and possibly attract the eye of a rich omega. If he was poor, he'd have been sold off and be stuck as a laborer or a servant for all his life. That's the normal life of most alphas in this world.

He has the chance to have a better life, either to become the trophy alpha to some rich omega, or to become a virile alpha, solely used to breed different omegas. Most alphas can only dream of achieving the first scenario, but they all end up becoming the latter, all used up. After all, these rich omegas only need heirs, so they're not required to stay monogamous or fall in love.

But Riku has always been a romantic, imagining a life where he can worship his omega with love, and support him in the background. Because realistically, alphas aren't allowed to do more than be in the background, like a pretty painting that gets admired, but can't be touched or bought. So he has accepted that's the kind of life he'll have in the future.

It's still better than fathering multiple pups with different omegas, and not knowing what happened to his pups. He’d rather watch them grow, and help them grow over the years. It's probably another hopeful dream of his.

Lately, he's been pushed into these gathering events, where multiple alphas are stuck in a banquet room, and a few omegas watch them from afar, in the second floor balconies. First, they pick them based on appearance, usually aiming for alphas who are muscled and handsome. Then they filter them out by scent, since obviously, they have to tolerate the scent during breeding. Afterwards, they offer a contract to them, a promise to create an heir within a certain period, and for them to stick around until the heir is born, since the pup needs both parents around to grow. If the alpha doesn't succeed, he goes back to those gathering events with a caution label, and he gets two more chances before being thrown into the laborer world. After all, they can't claim it's the omega’s fault when they fail.

And there are some contracts where they promise continuity if the heir is born as an omega. They can basically keep the same alpha for the next breeding session, hoping for the same result. It's been known that there are certain alphas who have higher chances of producing omegas than other alphas. These alphas become prized possessions, and some get auctioned off once the omega have enough heirs. It's another reason for Riku to avoid becoming a breeder.

There are also very rare cases where omegas prefer keeping one alpha for life. Some do it for love, while others find the idea of sleeping with different alphas to be off-putting. Society doesn't discriminate against their choices. They only protest when it's about alpha rights.

Riku hasn't had luck yet in these social gatherings. He's always been called up based on his handsome face but he can't seem to pass the scent test since his scent is rather peculiar. It's not as masculine as most alphas, who have a more earthy and nature smell. His is a mixed between floral and fruit, a scent that is reminiscent of an omega scent, but not as strong. He knows he has a lot of time to keep trying, since alphas are considered virile until they turn 30, but it's still a bit worrying since he's in his second year of searching, and most of his friends have landed someone.

Still, he keeps trying his luck since he can't do anything else in this life, but wait. Until he meets a certain omega that keeps tugging at his heart, Tokuno Yushi.

**

Yushi finds the whole process of producing an heir to be troublesome. Why can't he just find a surrogate and make them do the hard work? It's unfortunate that he has to carry the pup into term, so he can produce the best heir. It's only possible with a strong bond between the alpha and the omega as the pup grows, even though that bond will only last about a year for most alphas.

He thinks life would be easier if he wasn't born as an omega, being forced into taking the Tokuno inheritance and all of the responsibilities. His younger brother has it easy, born as a beta, the least amount of sub-gender in this world, and can only serve as a working class. Though betas have both the parts to carry a pup and to inseminate an omega, they’ll most likely find a low ranking alpha to mate with. The amount of pairs who are omega and beta, or beta and beta are extremely low compared to an omega choosing one alpha as their life partner.

Since Yushi is the only omega in his family, he has to make sure that there's an heir to continue the Tokuno name. So he's been stuck going to these gathering events, competing against snob omegas who only want the best. He doesn't even know why these people keep choosing alphas based on their looks and scents. It feels too artificial, like they're just making heirs with good looks, but no brains. And even if he wants an  alpha with a good personality, they don't let him ask the necessary questions. So really , it feels like he has no other options than to conform to their rules.

That's why he feels grumpy every time he comes to these events. Just randomly choosing his five alphas as required, and rejecting them later on, claiming scent reasons. He still can't escape his obligations, but maybe he can postpone for a while longer.

His plan seems doable until he notices an alpha in the large banquet room. It's normal for him to notice good looking ones, since there are always some, but it's another thing to notice an alpha who's pouting for no reason, as if that person doesn't care about how he looks to the world. He thinks it's a rather funny display, and he has a feeling it’s not done on purpose, so he picks him as one of his five.

He doesn't expect anything out of it, simply thinking he can compliment the alpha and make his day, since that's all he can technically say to potential alphas, compliments instead of serious questions. He even thinks that the alpha is rather handsome when he’s in his neutral face. So he lets his guard down when they bring the potential alphas to him.

He greets each one personally, checking their scent and thanking them for their time. He's used to smelling the same type of smell: sandalwood, cedar or pine, but when he meets the pouty alpha, he's surprised to smell something different. The kind of scent that would be too sweet for most omegas, but to Yushi, who has been a sweet tooth in his entire life, finds it addicting .

“Maeda Riku, at your service,” the alpha says softly without raising his gaze.

He's not allowed to look at him until he tells him to.

But Yushi keeps staring at him, feeling his palm sweat and his ears turning slightly pink. The scent is affecting him, gradually. He feels weird because usually scents don't affect him, and if anything, his scent tends to bother people since he doesn't control it well. So he doesn't understand this reaction. All he can think about is…

Take him. Grab him before he leaves.

His finger twitches as he takes a deep inhale. He's never letting him go.

**

3 years later .

Riku holds Yuma close to his chest, rocking him to sleep after his lunch while closing his eyes, humming. His pup used to be so tiny, barely 3 kg when he was born, but now he's heavy enough to make his arms sore after a few minutes. Yuma is the complete opposite of Yuto, his first pup, always wanting to be held and played with. Yuto is more independent and tends to run around, exploring without a care. Apparently, Yushi was like that when he was younger, and Riku thinks it's so cute. Despite Yuto having Yushi's personality, he is somehow the spitting image of Riku while inheriting Yushi's eye shape.

Their two sons make Riku’s life feel full and busy, despite having enough servants helping them. Riku prefers to take care of them, having too much free time otherwise. And when he's not with them, he's busy with Yushi.

He finds Yushi to be a rather dominant person when the younger is interacting with other omegas, stubborn enough to not let others win. But with Riku, he's different. Sometimes too needy, and sometimes possessive. Even towards their pups. It's not that Yushi doesn't love them, he does , like any other omega parent, but he prefers having Riku to himself when he's free from responsibilities. After all, what's the point of having these servants if they're not watching his pups?

It's something Riku learned to deal with, considering he's living a life that he wished for, being bonded to only one omega. Anyone else would be envious of his situation. 

It helps that Yushi doesn't want any other alpha in his life, and he refuses to auction Riku, knowing that his value went up ever since Yushi gave birth to two omegas. Both naturally choose each other out of their own free will, and that's probably the best thing about this relationship.

And, despite not admitting it, Yushi has fallen for Riku for more than just his cuteness or scent. He thinks he's already too smitten for him.

“Riku,” he calls him out from the doorway.

Riku opens his eyes at the sound, notices his impatient omega before nodding. He gently lays Yuma back into the crib and silently leaves the room, closing the door.

Sometimes, after lunch time, Yushi looks for him, wanting to avoid his work, and prefers to do other kinds of activities.

It's not that they need another heir, two is technically enough, but Riku thinks Yushi just likes being pregnant. Because it means that Riku has to be beside him all the time, making sure the bond strengthens and the pup grows healthy. Riku always doted on Yushi during pregnancy, treating him like a king. Plus, Riku does think having a big family would be nice. Maybe they can get an alpha this time, because Yushi won’t discriminate against any sub-gender.

So he lets Yushi lead him to the bedroom, a few doors down from the nursery and Yuto’s room. Once the door closes, Yushi is more impatient, grabbing Riku’s pants and kissing him to get the mood going. He doesn't even care about foreplay because he just wants it inside, now . And he learns to be more cunning lately, no underwear as he kicks off his shorts.

The slick oozes out easily, despite not being touched yet. That's how effective Riku's scent is towards him. And Riku can smell it, wanting to lick it and eat him out like usual, but he knows he can do that later, during clean up. Instead, he sits on the bed, knowing that Yushi prefers this position, where he can ride the elder’s dick and feel the tip reaching his favorite spot.

And it feels amazing, as usual, when Yushi finally has Riku’s cock inside him. Its thickness stretches him pleasantly and makes him moan unashamedly. He simply wants a quick release because there are meetings later on, and Riku shouldn't knot him right now.

The elder helps him set a fast pace, licking and sucking Yushi’s nipple while feeling the squeezing tightness against his cock. If they had more time, Riku would try to suck some milk out of it, selfishly stealing the yummy liquid. For now, he just helps Yushi get the edge off.

It's easy to find the good spots, Yushi always squirm and ask for more. Then he tends to bite Riku's gland when he's close to climax, gripping Riku's shoulder before squirting out his cum against Riku's stomach. He's feeling a bit breathless by then, and he holds onto Riku as the elder lays him down, proceeding to clean out their fluids with his tongue.

Yushi used to think it was weird and dirty, but Riku is too good with his tongue. The way he licks and slips his tongue inside impatiently, sucking out the slick and cum, as if the elder is hungry for it. He can easily orgasm after a few minutes of licking, and possibly experience another orgasm if Riku keeps him overstimulated. It's too addicting.

And later on, Riku holds him in his arms gently, letting him nap before his meeting. At this moment, Yushi feels too emotional, and can easily blurt out how much he loves Riku. But maybe he'll wait for their date, just so Riku can appreciate it more.

Chapter Text

There's frustration inside Riku's heart, and he's sure that Yushi feels it more than him. After all, Yushi is the one who keeps asking him for skinship. And Riku can't blame him. He himself misses Yushi, even if the younger one is right beside him. But it's the idea of not being able to touch him when he wants, and the idea that they can't appear too friendly to each other. It's challenging, and it takes a toll on his mind over time. He's not used to this; he wants things to be normal again.

It sounds like an absurd plan, really, considering how he and Yushi are basically two peas in one pod. The similar things they like, the way they see each other as their rock, and the many words they can say to each other with just a single glance. To pretend that it's suddenly gone, or to force themselves to recreate that bond with another member, it's tiring. It's too much. But Riku knows that they have to.

He feels obligated by his contract, and the fact that he plays a bigger role in this group as their second speaker. He doesn't feel happy to ignore Yushi, but he has to be the strong one if Yushi can't do it.

It's only until the promotion ends anyway. So he waits. Just 2 more weeks of this.

And it finally finishes. The feeling of sweet relief overwhelms them as they realize it's over. They can go back to casual touches and the subtle moments when the camera isn't on them. He feels excited about it, as if returning home after a while. And Yushi looks more excited than him, with that huge grin on his face, and a twinkle in his eye. The expression looks oddly familiar to him, and it takes Riku a while before he understands it.

Wait!

Riku quickly turns his face away just as Yushi leans in to kiss him. His lips land on his cheek, sloppily but firmly. The elder sighs in relief, happy that their staff didn't see anything wild, but also sad because Yushi looks upset. As if Riku rejected him for another guy, when it's simply a kiss being redirected. He knows he'll have to coax him later on when they're home and give him a real kiss. But for now, Yushi stomps away childishly to hug an unsuspecting Daeyoung, and Riku can only pout because that's the hug that he wanted.

When they get home, Sion hyung reminds them that they have an upcoming day off, and asks if they want to do anything special. Sakuya just wants cheeseballs, and Yushi easily agrees with him. Ryo doesn't really have plans while Daeyoung asks if they can play that board game again. But Riku, well, he has plans.

“Oh, you have plans?” Sion asks teasingly.

“Yep, a home date,” Riku tells them happily.

Daeyoung giggles at the elder’s brave declaration while Ryo gives him an amused expression.

But Riku is only staring at Yushi when he says it. Because he wants to know how Yushi feels about it. Except, the younger person's expression doesn’t seem happy. As if there's a storm of emotions twisting inside him and he's struggling to remain calm. 

He feels jealous, but it's not just simple jealousy. It's also how he feels insecure, possessive and sad that someone is trying to steal Riku away from him. And he knows that he's overthinking, because Riku loves him , and no one else. There is no uncertainty about that. But the past few weeks have been hard on him and it's making him miss the elder even more. So he can't help but wonder.

“With who?” He asks quietly as if afraid of the answer.

“With you, silly,” Riku tells him with a soft chuckle.

Yushi feels a little speechless and embarrassed that he actually asked that question, but the feeling of relief is palpable. He's just too happy that the three weeks separation didn't ruin their relationship. And he can't help how he runs to Riku impulsively, hugging him happily, ignoring how everyone else laughs at his change of mood.

And the way Riku hugs him back, tightly and unwilling to let go too, Yushi thinks the feeling of longingness has always been mutual.

**

Yushi is too giddy today, walking with happy steps and smiling like a lovefool person. The living room is ready, and he has his phone with him so they can order food together. Riku is still showering so he’s impatiently waiting on the sofa, wanting to start their date already. Daeyoung left a while ago, teasing him one last time before telling them to have fun, while Sion hyung passed by to remind them that they have to finish before dinner time. It's rather annoying that they can't have the whole day, but he supposes 6 hours with his handsome boyfriend is better than nothing.

Riku exits a moment later with a towel on his shoulders, already dressed, and there's water dripping occasionally into his shirt. Yushi pouts at him because he wants to dress Riku like he usually does, but the elder knows that they’ll end up getting distracted and lose time again. Luckily, he can still dry Riku’s hair so he pats Riku to sit in front of him.

“What are we watching today?” Riku asks him as he sits between Yushi's legs, leaning against the younger's chest.

His wet hair is causing Yushi's shirt to get wet, but he doesn't care about that. The feeling of warmth between them is nice, and Yushi can't help but hug him tight from behind, arms wrapping around Riku's body. He hides his face on Riku's shoulder and inhales his scent, enjoying the closeness between them.

“We're finishing Hunter x Hunter from last time,” Yushi mumbles to him.

“Sounds good,” Riku tells him, grabbing the younger's wrist that's on his chest before intertwining their fingers.

Yushi takes another inhale before lifting his face up, and placing his chin on Riku's shoulder, forcing himself to behave.

“Let's order food first,” Yushi reminds him. “What do you want to eat?”

“Anything you want,” Riku reminds him back.

This has always been their thing. Yushi picks whatever he wants and Riku follows along, only wanting to spend time with Yushi. He doesn't particularly care about what they do as long as it’s together.

“I want what Riku wants,” Yushi says childishly, shoving the phone at Riku’s chest, forcing him to choose already. The elder takes it with a sigh, not wanting to fight over silly things.

Yushi then pulls the towel away from Riku's shoulder and starts to dry his hair as Riku looks at the menu.

“Alright, fine,” Riku says in an exasperated tone. “Tteokbokki?”

“Sure.” 

“Cheeseballs?”

“Okay.”

“Ramen?”

Yushi shakes his head.

“No ramen?! Has someone kidnapped my Yu-chan?” Riku teases him, and Yushi hugs him while giggling.

“I already had Riku last night,” he reasons with a giggle, and Riku laughs at him while elbowing him for being dirty minded.

“Wow… this is why we can't have group dates,” Riku scolds him with a teasing tone and Yushi kisses the back of his neck for forgiveness.

“We should get pizza,” the younger one mumbles against his skin. “You wanted that last time.”

“A large one? I think the others can help finish it right?”

Yushi nods in agreement.

They start to check the amount of food before placing the order, and putting Yushi’s phone away. Riku's hair is slightly drier so Yushi throws the wet towel to the corner, not wanting it nearby.

“Yu-chan!” Riku scolds him because he dislikes seeing a mess, but Yushi hugs him tighter, purposely placing a leg over the elder's legs to keep him still.

“I'll clean it later,” he whines, not wanting the warmth to leave.

“You better pick that up and not make Daeyoung do it,” Riku tells him before relaxing again in Yushi's embrace.

“I will,” he promises.

He grabs the remote of the smart TV, and sets up the screen into their shared Crunchyroll account. He searches for their last seen episode before clicking it to start. Riku wiggles in his position before gesturing to Yushi to grab a blanket from the couch.

He places the yarn blanket over them, making sure it covers Riku perfectly, because the elder gets cold more often than him. It feels cozy like this, having Riku in his arms, with Riku placing his arms over his. Their fingers lay on top of each other.

He doesn't want this moment to ever end.

But sadly the doorbell rings 30 minutes later because their food has arrived. Yushi was going to call Daeyoung to grab it for them, so they don't lose their warmth, but Riku tells him to move his lazy ass. The younger only relents for Riku's sake, to let the elder stay warm.

He makes sure to wear his mask when he steps outside to grab the food, before running back inside because it's getting chilly outside. 

Riku opens the door for him while wearing a blanket over his shoulders. He helps Yushi put the food into the table, and grabs two bowls and 2 pairs of chopsticks for them. He gives a bowl and a pair of chopsticks to Yushi, so they can each pick what they want and bring it to the dining table.

They sit facing each other on the table, enjoying their food while the episode remains on pause. Riku watches in amusement whenever Yushi eats in front of him. It's the way the younger one can look so passionate while eating his food, enjoying it like a true foodie. He feels endeared by it, and sometimes, it makes him want to kiss him because he's too cute.

Despite that, they eat rather quickly while randomly wiping each other's mouth when things get messy, and making funny faces at each other for no reason. Later on, they wash the dishes together, bumping into each other on purpose, giggling together before placing the clean dishes into the rack.

At one point, Yushi drapes himself over Riku, waiting for the elder to finish cleaning the messy table. He's just cuddling against him, content to hold Riku in his arms, and the elder seems to like it as he wiggles backward against him. It's only after he washes his hands, that he turns himself around, wanting to cage Yushi against the sink.

The younger grins at him as Riku leans in and presses his forehead against him.

“You're so playful today,” Riku whispers to him. “Why are you so cute today?”

“So you'd kiss me,” Yushi pouts at him, jutting his lower lips. “You haven't kissed me this whole morning.”

“Then how did you survive without my kiss the other day?” Riku asks in a teasing tone.

“I think I went crazy one time and kissed my pillow, thinking it was you,” Yushi tells him without feeling embarrassed.

Riku can't help but laugh loudly at that, squatting down to giggle. The younger one always knows how to make him laugh without fail, despite knowing he’d ruin a perfectly good moment.

“So? When are you going to heal me?” the younger asks him, grinning at the elder’s reaction.

“How can I heal you? I’m just a police,” Riku reminds him of their last mafia game as he steps closer again.

“Then you should save me from the pillow. I think it has a crush on me, thinking that I’m in love with it,” Yushi jokes as he places his hand on Riku’s chest.

“I should, huh?” Riku asks softly before leaning in again.

Their noses brush against each other before Riku tilts his head to kiss him. He wraps an arm around Yushi’s waist, pulling him closer as their kiss deepens. Yushi thinks he’ll never get used to the feeling of kissing Riku. It’s simply too sensuous.

By the time they pull apart, Riku places his forehead against Yushi’s and stares at his eyes. Their breaths mingle and there’s nothing to be said between them. Riku just wanted to convey his feelings with a gaze.

“大好きだよ,” Yushi whispers to him while keeping their gaze intact.

Riku slowly grins at that, feeling a random bout of shyness before shaking it off.

“大好きだよ,” Riku says it back before kissing him again.

**

Later on, they’re back on the floor, this time Riku is the big spoon, wrapping an arm around the younger. And the younger one leans against him, enjoying the warmth between them. Riku purposely leans his cheek against Yushi’s head, randomly smelling his hair while the younger is distracted by the episode. Their hands are intertwined, fingers wrestling against each other at random moments. And Riku’s other hand is on Yushi’s thigh, randomly caressing it, somehow addicted to how soft it feels under his finger tips.

Yushi would randomly react to the episode, causing Riku to look back up at the TV, but any other time, Riku keeps staring at Yushi’s side profile, thinking how his boyfriend is too pretty. It’s kind of unfair that he can’t show off Yushi as his to other people. He thinks he’d be one of those people who’d only post about their boyfriend in their social media.

And sometimes, Yushi would look back at him, sometimes with a pout, sometimes with a wink, or sometimes just to blow a kiss at him. Riku thinks he must be truly in love to enjoy these small gestures during their date.

And when watching gets tiring, Yushi pauses the episode and wiggles against Riku, using the elder as his bed and the elder’s chest as his pillow. They end up sprawled in the living room's floor, with silence surrounding them, and a yarn blanket over them. Riku caresses Yushi’s hair as the younger closes his eyes, slowly feeling the sleepiness overwhelm him.

The low thumps of Riku’s heartbeat echo in his ear, giving him a nice background sound as he falls deeper into sleep. Riku himself doesn’t feel tired, but the warmth makes him sleepy, and he slowly falls asleep as he listens to Yushi’s breathing.

A few hours later, Yushi wakes up to the sound of Sakuya arguing with Ryo about something, and Daeyoung laughing loudly at Sakuya’s reason. He slowly opens his eyes and sees Sion hyung taking a photo of him and Riku in their position. He glares at him for interrupting their nap.

“We have dinner soon,” Sion simply tells him with a grin before going to the maknaes.

Yushi frowns at that news before lifting his head up, and sees Riku still sleeping below him. He smiles at the sight before pecking the elder’s lips, knowing it’d annoy Riku if he found out. He wiggles himself to get closer to Riku’s ear and whispers to him to wake up.

Riku swats at Yushi’s face, trying to make him shut up while half asleep.

“Five more minutes,” he grumbles while wrapping an arm around Yushi.

Yushi relents as he lays back down at Riku’s chest, refusing to get up too since the elder doesn’t want to either.

“How’s this any different than you two snuggling every night?” Ryo asks as he stares down at Yushi. “Wouldn’t it be more fun if you guys go out or something?”

Sion snorts at that, thinking how Ryo is still too young to understand the kind of fun couples will have.

“Well, they can’t kiss outside…” Daeyoung tries to explain.

“It’s just kissing. They can do it anytime,” Ryo waves it off.

“It’s not just kissing. It’s also how we spend time with each other,” Yushi tells him. “To be able to enjoy each other without worrying about fans or sharing him with you guys.”

“But you guys just end up falling asleep…”

“Only later on! Before that, it was fun…”

Riku smiles as he hears that despite not opening his eyes, and Ryo rolls his eyes at Riku for being too simple-minded.

“I missed you,” Yushi tells Riku as he looks up at the elder, blurting out how he feels from weeks ago.

Riku slowly opens one of his eyes, feeling warm from the confession.

“I missed you too,” he says softly, smiling at the ceiling.

They can hear the young members complain in the background, sick of their public confessions, but that’s alright. For them, they only want each other.

Chapter Text

August 4

It's supposed to be a secret. 

Their relationship, that is. 

But Riku thinks they have passed keeping it as a secret, because Yushi keeps touching him, in a way that's too sensuous for it to be friendly. And Riku, well, he himself likes it, and doesn't have any willpower to actually want to stop it.

There is no more casual touching between them, like when he hooks his arm into Daeyoung's arm, or when he hugs Ryo tightly. It's not innocent either, like when they intertwined their fingers, or grabbing fingers for comfort. Now, it's sensual, the kind of touching couples share with each other when they miss each other. It feels personal, sweet and addictive.

After all, their feelings grow over time, from a tiny bud of electricity to lingering attachment. It's no longer just physical attraction between them. It's emotional, apprehensive and exciting. Their relationship becomes an irreplaceable bond, one that's unshakeable and comforting.

That's why they're often seen together behind the scenes, even when they're not supposed to be together in front of cameras. It's hard to break the habit, especially since they need each other emotionally. To Riku, who needs Yushi to keep him emotionally strong, and to Yushi, who gains courage from Riku.

In a rare moment, the staff decides to shoot them together when Riku is sitting down on a large, brown pillow, and Yushi is right beside him.

“Hello! This is Riku and Yushi!” Riku greets the camera with a smile.

Yushi doesn't say anything. He's simply distracted by how pretty Riku is today, and how it's getting harder to not want to kiss him lately. It feels like the tension between them keeps building up, causing Yushi to feel extra horny and turned on whenever he's near his boyfriend.

Even three days ago, he was back hugging Riku, squeezing him tightly and rubbing his back to tickle his sensitive spots. He couldn't help it anymore. He wanted to touch Riku all the time, not caring if fans found out about their relationship.

That's why he’s touching Riku right now, rubbing his leg enticingly, caressing his inner thigh, and feeling the muscle underneath. It seems so sexual, even the way Yushi rubs Riku's chest, purposely brushing against a perky nipple. He just finds Riku's body to be sexually pleasing.

It's like there is no shame inside his mind when he touches Riku.

“What do you guys think of the second outfit?” Riku asks the camera, pulling Yushi out of his dirty thoughts.

“You look cool,” Yushi compliments as he gazes at him.

He rubs Riku’s thigh during it, purposely lifting up the leg pants, exposing the light brown skin. He stares at the pretty skin shamelessly before letting the pants leg fall back to the ground.

It's only when he notices the camera man’s reaction that he stops being shameless. But his horniness lingers and ebbs inside him. That's why he keeps looking at Riku, hoping for the elder to pay attention to him at one point. And when he does, Yushi grins like a lovesick fool, wishing that they can kiss, and hoping that Riku can touch him back.

Not yet.  

He needs to wait for tonight, impatiently and restlessly, hugging the large teddy bear at random times. He needs to focus so the staff won't scold him later on.

“The weather is also nice,” he comments instead, hinting how today feels perfect and blissful to him. Being able to touch Riku and enjoy his presence without worrying about the consequences. It’s making him happy.

And he can hear Daeyoung start to sing UN Village in the background. As if the younger one heard Yushi's romantic comment and wanted to tease him.

What a sneaky guy – Yushi thinks, realizing how Daeyoung is subtly implying about two people dating at home.

He doesn't care if someone figures it out anyway. All he wants to do is go home and celebrate their 100th day with Riku. He can't wait for that.

**

It started as a promise between them in May. They began dating from April 26th, and they had a conversation one time, about when to have their first time. Riku wanted to wait because Yushi was too new at relationships, wanting to give him time to get used to everything. And Yushi only agreed because he wanted to make Riku happy.

In the end, one of them suggested their 100th day, and that date is today. It's been 100 days of kissing, hugging, holding hands, and intentional groping between them. There's a sense of impatience as the date comes near, but neither want to break the promise. After all, their 100th day is special. It only comes once in their life.

That's why Yushi had been too hyper and happy as it approached. And Riku feels excited too, wanting to experience this big moment with someone he truly loves.

They both feel nervous when they get home to the dorm that night. They can technically not have sex and wait for the right time, but the tension still needs to be released. That's why Riku takes a courageous step before leaning in to kiss Yushi. He takes it slow, licking his lower lips, slipping his tongue inside, tasting Yushi while holding him in his arms.

He can feel Yushi's hand on his chest, gripping his shirt before squeezing his pec. The younger moans against his lips, impatiently wanting more as usual.

But Riku takes his time, gently laying him down, sliding his hands inside Yushi's shirt, caressing his skin. He kisses the flat stomach, trailing kisses upwards, hearing how Yushi becomes breathless over time.

The younger's eyes are hooded, turned on by the constant kisses, but it's still not enough. He wants Riku to touch his dick already, or give him more than the usual kisses.

“Yu-chan, remember that we can't have marks,” Riku gently reminds him as he lays beside Yushi, facing him sideways. “So just kiss me when you feel overwhelmed.”

Yushi pouts at him as he wiggles his shorts off, frustrated with all the delays. Riku grins at his impatient behavior, and doesn't complain as he feels Yushi grabbing his hand and placing it against his boxers. As if daring him to touch his erection.

The elder simply smirks before leaning close to Yushi's face, kissing him passionately again. His right hand rubs against Yushi's cock through the boxers, feeling the wetness seeping out. He then takes it out, gripping it gently before tugging it a few times skillfully. A thumb presses against the slit and Yushi moans against his lips, thrusting into his hand, feeling close to completion. 

The younger one is still new to this, too sensitive and too tense. It only takes Riku a few tugs and playing with the head before Yushi gasps against Riku's lips in reaction. He thrusts his hips again and ejaculates into Riku's hand, twitching in climax.

He feels embarrassed afterwards, realizing how he cummed without waiting for Riku. The elder didn't even take off his pants yet. Yushi feels guilty for being too horny tonight.

He feels even more guilt when he sees Riku taking a napkin to wipe off the cum in his hand.

“Riku,” Yushi whines and pouts at the same time. He grabs Riku's arm and squeezes it in embarrassment. “Sorry…” he ends up muttering.

“Why?” Riku looks confused.

“I…” he blushes as he struggles to say it. “I cummed before you,” he whispers out. “I was supposed to wait.”

“Wait?” Riku asks teasingly as he rubs Yushi's thigh. “That'd be selfish of me. You needed this more than me.”

Yushi gives him a questioning glance.

“I keep touching myself, thinking about you,” Riku admits shyly as he looks away from Yushi’s gaze. “It's hard to not want you these days.”

Yushi perks up from hearing that, heart thumping loudly and excitedly.

“Since when?”

“That's a secret.”

Yushi pouts in protest.

“So you have to touch me too. I've been waiting for this too, you know,” Riku mutters in shyness, hand still rubbing against Yushi's thigh, never wanting to leave the softness. He thinks about the amount of times he jacked off, imagining pretty Yushi in different positions on his bed. It makes him wet in excitement, precum oozing against his boxers. That's how much he wants Yushi lately. He's just better at hiding his desires.

He slips off his pants and boxers, watching how Yushi stares at his cock intensely. He takes Yushi's hand, gently holding it before helping him wrap his thin, pretty fingers around his cock. It looks too enticing, knowing Yushi has his hands on him. He forces himself to think about non-sexual things so he can last longer.

He tells Yushi to rub it, to play with the head like Yushi would during masturbation. Tonight is simply about exploring each other's body. To get used to the sensation, and communicating what feels good and what feels sensitive.

Yushi is too eager though, hands moving at a fast pace as he watches Riku’s expression.  The elder closes his eyes in embarrassment, grunting out his breaths as he feels the climax approaching. The way Riku thrusts his hips is intense, and Yushi imagines him doing this to his ass one day, fucking it thoroughly and making him full to the brim. It makes him horny again, distracted by erotic thoughts, and not realizing Riku is cumming until he feels wet, warm cum spraying against his hand and shirt.

“Crap,” Riku immediately mutters, not expecting to cum that fast. “Sorry,” he tells Yushi, helping him clean up. 

He takes tissues out of the box and cleans them both up with a worried expression, as if the elder also feels guilty for not lasting long enough.

Yushi doesn't care about any of that, pecking Riku's lips and telling him it’s okay. After all, this is still their first time doing anything more than just kissing.

“I love you,” he mutters against the elder's lips. His emotions have been running wild tonight, but something warm has settled inside his chest. The feeling of wanting to cherish Riku forever.

“Suddenly?” Riku asks in amusement, always feeling surprised when Yushi spoils him with affectionate words.

Yushi looks at him with a shy smile, selfishly wanting a reply. He’s going to feel sad if Riku doesn't say it back in the next minute.

“I love you too,” Riku finally replies, almost teasing him cruelly, but his eyes gaze back at him, unafraid and lovingly. He’s no longer shy to return the same endeared look.

It feels like the perfect ending to the night.

**

August 5

The next day is ISAC. Famously known as a way to meet other idols and gain their phone numbers. That's what Riku and Yushi should be doing, pretending to be single and subtly receiving others’ phone numbers.

Yet, Riku dislikes the idea of sharing Yushi, even if it's just friendship. He also hates the idea of Yushi receiving numbers from cute, tall guys. He knew what kind of men Yushi used to like in the past, so he feels irrationally sensitive about it. He knows that Yushi doesn't pay attention to them, but it's the idea of other people wanting Yushi that brings out his possessive personality.

He can't mark Yushi's skin but he can warn all of those people to stay away.

That's why they sit too close to each other, pressing against the other as they wait for the race to start. They cuddle with arms around each other, scooting their butts closer, whispering random stories and giggling to each other. They don't notice their surroundings, ignoring the phone numbers that slip into their hands, and the stares they’d receive from other people. Questioning the nature of their relationship.

Even later on, as the event approaches night time, Yushi leans against Riku's chest, cuddling against him even though it feels hot and sweaty between them. In spite of that, it feels comforting in Riku's arms, as if the anxiousness and the worries disappear when they’re together. It’s nice to enjoy this moment without the horniness clouding their minds.

Yet, Riku isn’t thinking about the race or how there are people surrounding them. He can feel the gazes on them, possibly from girls or guys who think they are good looking, but Riku knows some of them probably desire Yushi. He thinks about how this is the perfect moment to mark Yushi as his. Even if they can’t kiss, all he needs to do is to subtly hint that there is something going on between them. Maybe that's why he feels impulsive at that moment.

They're sitting down together, Yushi is leaning against Riku's front and Riku’s arm is caging Yushi inside his personal space. Riku can smell Yushi’s hair in this close proximity, but he doesn't aim for that. Instead, he lets Yushi look around curiously before letting him settle down. He briefly glances at his surroundings before leaning his face down, brushing his mouth against Yushi's hair.

It's simply a quick kiss to Yushi’s head, nothing noticeable to the naked eye. But Yushi feels it, and he reflexively moves away from his spot, feeling confused. He looks at Riku with a questioning expression, wondering why that happened, but the elder doesn't say anything. He simply looks to the front without any words.

It makes Yushi wonder if he imagined it, and it makes him nervous enough that he doesn't go back to cuddling against Riku.

Riku doesn't mind it, because that small moment makes some of those gazes look away, and he thinks that's already a big win. No one is stealing his Yushi away.

**

August 7

After ISAC, they still have fan meetings and fan calls with many fans. At one point, a fan asks Riku if he has any good stories with Yushi. He recalls the many memories he has with Yushi, including one last night when Yushi came into his room with only his t-shirt and no boxers or pants. He remembers how he marked a hickey inside Yushi's thigh, and tasted Yushi for the first time, making the younger yelps in sensitivity.

He thinks about how cute Yushi has been lately, always smiling and asking him for skinships even when they're not supposed to. Even last night, Yushi smiles at him like Riku is the best boyfriend ever, causing Riku to feel all warm inside.

“He's really cute these days,” Riku ends up replying to the fan. He laughs loudly as he remembers a particularly cute moment. “He's just too cute lately.”

He may sound like a man who's in love with Yushi’s cuteness, but he can't help how his heart feels lately. Yushi's cuteness is simply his kryptonite.

And the obsession gets worse over time. Riku still can't behave normally when Yushi is next to him. They whisper to each other during fan signs, faces too close for comfort, but neither minds it. And during other days, Riku gets coaxed into making cat ears with Yushi, both too happy to do it together. Or Yushi asking Riku to help him during speech time, rubbing his arm teasingly.

It's like finding the smallest excuse to be constantly touching or to be in close proximity.

They're in love, that's all to it.

**

October 13

Weeks pass by and the Steady promotion begins. There are restrictions placed on their skinships and Yushi doesn't particularly like the new rule from management.

But he learns how to be sneaky about it. Asking Riku to make a heart during a live broadcast, or waiting for Riku to complete his heart during a fan sign. He knows that the elder can't say no to him in a live broadcast, and management can't complain either because it's too spontaneous.

It's also a way to spoil Riku with these small skinships, knowing it gives Riku the strength to keep going since the elder hasn't been feeling well lately.

Their relationship also keeps developing over time. There are no more firsts to be shared anymore, but they keep exploring the boundaries of pleasure in different forms. Like Riku realizing how Yushi likes Riku's chest, always caressing it randomly, or how Yushi likes being manhandled against the bed or the wall. And for Riku, it's the way Yushi spoils him with words, somehow turning compliments into a kink of its own, and how Yushi loves enticing him with his skin. Because Riku likes touching those soft thighs, and palming Yushi's ass during bedtime. It becomes a strange addiction for him.

And lately, a teasing game starts between them, late at night, when they're too tired to do anything sexual. To see which one will get hard first and suffer through the night with it. 

And when they do have time, Riku recently learned how thigh fucking is a great alternative to their sex life. There's no soreness for Yushi, who needs to dance well the next day, and they both get to release some tension at the same time. Otherwise, frottage is also a great alternative when they just want a quick relief.

Today, they're doing a press conference with Allure magazine, talking about their photoshoot and the magazine itself. They answer questions as usual and re-enact one of the poses from the shoot.

There isn't any skinship planned and this interview is supposed to be a formal one, so Yushi is behaving in his best behavior.

Yet, there is a moment where Yushi and Riku lock eyes, for no reason, and he can hear Ryo talking about wasabi in the background. But somehow, it only takes that one look for Yushi to remember what happened last night. How Riku sucked him off against the wall, and how the elder’s eyes looked so sexy and intense during it. It causes him to rub his arm in shyness, and Riku himself smiles at Yushi with that mischievous grin.

It's like their tension came back, despite releasing it last night.

That moment may look funny to unsuspecting fans, that it's simply Yushi and Riku laughing at each other. And that's fine, they want to keep this obvious truth hidden a bit longer.

Chapter Text

Riku doesn't know how it happened. He’s standing in front of Tokuno, talking to him about his next volleyball match, when Tokuno suddenly touches his hand as he giggles.

He looks so cute today. I love it when his bangs cover his eyes. I just want to kiss him right now. I bet he tastes like…

Riku suddenly stops talking once he hears that, wondering why he can hear Tokuno say those things, but his mouth isn't moving. He thinks that maybe he's imagining things, or that he's tired enough to hear things.

“Are you alright?” Tokuno asks, noticing his expression.

“Huh? Yeah… I thought I heard something…”

Tokuno tilts his head, not understanding his words.

“Maybe I'm just tired,” Riku gives him a small smile, not wanting Tokuno to worry.

Tokuno gives him a pout, and Riku wonders, not for the first time, if his feelings for Tokuno will ever stop growing.

“You should rest, senpai,” Tokuno says softly. “We can catch up another time.”

“Okay,” Riku smiles at him. “Then don't forget to answer my texts.”

Tokuno nods, agreeing easily. He can't wait to receive them.

**

The next time Riku meets Tokuno, it's after his volleyball practice with his team. He's wearing a sleeveless top because the summer heat is killing him and it's the only way he can survive the heat. Practice finished a little late so the sun is slowly setting down.

He's walking back home when he sees Tokuno standing in the bus stop. He thinks that the younger one looks so cute this evening with his blue shirt and black shorts.

It's been days since he figured out that he could read Tokuno's thoughts whenever the younger one touches his skin. And although he feels happy that Tokuno seems to have a huge crush on him, he also feels bad for knowing the truth indirectly. That's why he tries to make it up by being the sweetest senpai.

And maybe one day, he will have the courage to ask him out.

“Tokuno-kun~” he greets him in a happy tone.

“Senpai,” Tokuno greets him back, looking surprised to see him.

“Why are you going home so late?”

“Oh, um, I had to study…”

“Did you finish?”

“Yeah…” Tokuno starts to say and then notices a leaf on Riku's hair. “Senpai, you have a leaf on your hair.”

He points at it before reaching out to get rid of it. Riku bends his head down, letting Tokuno grab the leaf. He thinks it should be okay if the younger one touches his hair since he's not touching his skin directly. He assumes his hair is a safe zone.

Yet, he's so wrong.

This is dangerous. Senpai looks so sexy today. I'm so glad I stayed late to study. He just look so good tonight. I just want to lick the sweat off his…

Riku pulls away suddenly, face feeling hot and warm as he thinks about Yushi's impure thoughts.

He could have never imagined this shy looking kouhai could be this dirty minded, but after hearing his wild thoughts, he thinks that he's not as perverted as Tokuno yet. Despite that, he still feels happy that Tokuno likes him this much.

But he feels awkward, not knowing how to shrug off those dirty words that echo inside his mind.

“Thank you,” Riku can only say, barely glancing at Tokuno and he notices how the younger one looks dejected.

He feels guilty about it. It's not Tokuno's fault that he can hear these thoughts.

“Sorry about that,” he gives Tokuno a shy smile. “It’s been a long day…” he gives the oldest excuse in the book.

“Oh, it's okay, senpai…”

But it's not okay – Riku thinks to himself. He shouldn't have made his cute kouhai sad.

“Let’s get some ramen,” he suddenly suggests. “That is, if you're free…”

The way Tokuno blindingly smiles at him makes Riku feel relieved. He thinks they'll be okay as long as Riku avoids his touches from now on.

**

In the meantime, Yushi finds himself having the same dilemma as Maeda senpai. He can hear his senpai’s thoughts whenever the elder touches his hand, or his arm. It wasn't hard to figure it out; his senpai has always been the touchy one between them, and lately, he's been extra touchy. As long as the elder touches his skin, Yushi is able to hear his thoughts.

How is this possible?

Well, Yushi doesn't know why yet. He just knows that he gets flustered when he hears his senpai’s thoughts. It’s as if someone gave him unlimited access to his favorite show, and he can't stop himself from wanting to know more until the end.

Like when he and senpai met after senpai’s team won the game. Senpai looked exhausted, but his grin and thoughts made Yushi smile in happiness.

He came! He came to watch me! – was senpai’s thoughts when they high fived as a greeting.

It gave him the courage to give him more compliments, and he kept grinning when senpai felt flustered enough to smack his shoulders. He couldn't stop feeling giddy that day, even after they parted ways.

And he could have taken advantage of this new superpower, like any other greedy person, but he felt guilty about it. He likes Maeda senpai. He doesn't want his senpai to hate him one day. So he wonders if he should tell him the truth, risking their fresh, yet strong friendship. It feels like a hard and scary question, but he decides that he can't ethically pretend that it's okay to take advantage of it.

He thinks about how he should admit it, worrying about the technicalities, but ultimately decides that he's terrible at planning things. So he ends up telling him, without much preparation.

“Um, senpai…”

Maeda waits for him to continue.

“I know you won't believe me, but I can read your thoughts,” Yushi blurts out.

Silence falls between them.

“I… I mean, when you touch my hand, or my arm, I can hear what you're thinking. And I don't usually have this kind of superpower, but for some reason I can hear your thoughts. I don't know how it happened, and I wish I could get rid of it, but I don't know how to fix this…” Yushi rambles on.

Maeda’s expression looks a little shocked and wary. 

Yushi imagines the worst scenario where the elder blocks his number and ignores his presence from now on. He's going to be devastated when that happens. He'll end up hating himself for ruining everything , and he'll be heartbroken for days. He's already preparing mentally for that future, but then, Maeda senpai reacted in a different way.

“... You can hear my thoughts?”

Yushi nods.

“Can you hear other people's thoughts or just mine?”

“Just yours.”

“Oh…” Maeda says softly. “I can do that too.”

Yushi looks confused at that declaration.

“I mean… I also thought I was going crazy. But whenever you touch my hand, I can hear what you're thinking, and this doesn't happen to anyone else,” Maeda explains to him sheepishly.

Yushi freezes at that confession. He didn't expect the same problem to apply to his senpai.

“So… uh… the other day when you saw me in that sleeveless top…”

Yushi shrinks in reaction as he recalls that memory. He remembers thinking how sexy senpai looked that day, and he remembers how senpai behaved awkwardly after meeting him. He thought the elder was just tired that day, but it was because of his dirty thoughts that he became like that! He wishes he could just dig a hole and hide for the rest of his life. He really should repent for his mistakes.

“But, I guess, this means, we just need to not touch each other and it'll be fine?” His senpai suggests.

“R… right,” Yushi easily agrees despite feeling embarrassed. “.... Also, I'm sorry…” he ends up apologizing for being too impure.

“N… no! Don't say that. You wouldn't say that if I wasn't hearing your thoughts,” Maeda tells him, despite looking embarrassed too.

“R… right.”

There's a long silence between them as they avoid each other's gazes.

“Anyway… should we find a crepe cafe?” Maeda senpai asks him, reminding them of their plans.

Yushi nods, agreeing with senpai’s suggestion of a nearby cafe.

They spend the rest of their day making small talks, trying their hardest to avoid touching the other.

**

There is still awkwardness between them. The truth makes them wary of each other. Riku now feels tense with his actions, sometimes stopping his action midway, thinking that he might accidentally touch Tokuno. He's overly cautious and he knows that Tokuno feels sad about it.

He's seen how Tokuno tries to fix the awkwardness, sometimes joking around by poking his neck, or making funny faces so Riku would laugh. 

Riku wishes he can be carefree again, but he's too scared that his thoughts will accidentally expose him.

It's one thing to know about Tokuno's crush on him, but it's another thing for Tokuno to find out about his crush. He's not ready for that. He's not a brave person.

He thinks he'll confess one day. That he just needs more time to prepare himself and they'll be okay again like before. 

But then he hears it.

Senpai hates me, doesn't he…  

He accidentally hears Tokuno's thoughts when the younger’s hand brushes against his.

It's a painful confession. One that sounds private, heart wrenching and full of sadness. It makes his heart ache, and he can no longer pretend they'll be okay one day.

He steps closer beside him, purposely letting their hands brush multiple times, just so he can hear more of the younger’s thoughts.

Maybe he hated how perverted I sound. I probably disgusted him. 

He probably likes cute girls, ones that smell good and is not addicted to ramen. 

Sigh… no one will ever love me… 

Maybe I should just buy a body pillow and name it Riku…

“You can't,” Riku suddenly whines at him, causing Tokuno to look at him in surprise, wondering what happened.

Riku blushes at his own outburst, realizing his mistake. He feels flustered, but he's no longer afraid of their telepathic powers. He feels brave this time.

He's still not ready to admit his feelings, but at least, he wants Tokuno to know that his thoughts are completely wrong. That he doesn't have any negative feelings towards him.

“You can't buy a body pillow and name it after me. There's only one Maeda Riku in this world and that's me,” he declares with frustration.

“Senpai,” Tokuno croaks out in embarrassment, realizing how his senpai heard his recent thoughts.

“And I don't like girls anymore,” Riku admits to him, ears feeling warm. “They're no longer cute to me.”

“Oh…”

“And I don't care if you have those thoughts. That's, you know, normal…” he says in the end.

Tokuno blushes at his words and nods, feeling brave enough to touch Riku's hand.

I’m glad… I'm glad you don't hate me… – Tokuno tells him telepathically.

I could never hate you… – Riku tells him back as he squeezes the younger's hand.

**

After that day, they end up having silent conversations between themselves, speaking through their telepathic powers instead of out loud.

Sometimes they hold onto each other's pinkies as they walk home together. And sometimes, their hands just keep brushing against each other, finding an excuse to stay connected.

I thought you're supposed to cut out on sugar, senpai.

It's just a small slice!

Are you sure it's okay?

Don't worry about it.

Okay, if you say so, senpai…. Oh, he's cute… – Tokuno accidentally notices a cute person in front of them.

Riku frowns once he hears that. He knows that it doesn't mean anything. After all, Tokuno is allowed to stare at other men since he's still single, but Riku feels irrationally jealous, as if he has placed dibs on the younger.

So he purposely takes Tokuno's hand, tugging him closer as if to make a point.

Meh, he's not that cute. I've seen someone cuter.

Who?

You.

Tokuno suddenly stops walking once he hears that, ears turning bright red. He feels completely shy.

Wh… what?

Riku simply grins at him before pulling him along, squeezing his hand. They're almost at their destination.

Senpai!!! Don't tease me…

I'm not! I mean it!

… That's not fair…

How's that not fair? I'm saying the truth, and my cute kouhai refuses my compliment. I feel so sad…

I wasn't refusing it! I just… it's not fair that you make my heart flutter so easily…

This time, Riku's ears turn red from hearing it, and he refuses to look at Tokuno, scared he might regret his brave moment.

Good… I want it to flutter.

When they finally arrive at the restaurant, they can't seem to hold each other's gazes, but at least, for now, Yushi seems to understand his senpai's feelings a little bit better.

**

They do end up getting rid of this superpower later on. They are on their third date now; Riku finally found the courage to ask Yushi-kun out. They've started to get comfortable enough to use their first name basis, and Yushi tends to call him Riku senpai. They're happy about this new change.

There is no more shyness between them as every embarrassing and dirty thought had been said to each other. They're just enjoying each other's presence, and sometimes each other's thoughts.

There's no rush for them to kiss either, but it happens impulsively during that date. Yushi is gazing at the sky, noticing the shining moon, and telling Riku that it looks beautiful. He completely forgot about the indirect meaning of those words.

Riku knows though, that the younger one is just happy about tonight, but the happiness infects him, and he wishes he could make tonight more special. Maybe that's why he tugs Yushi's wrist, pulling the younger's attention to him.

He has kissed a few people before, but he knows this will be Yushi's first kiss. So he takes his time, slowly leaning in, giving the younger a chance to push him away in case he doesn't agree. 

Once he realizes there's no hesitation, he presses his lips gently against Yushi’s, creating soft sounds as they keep pecking their lips. He ends up licking Yushi's bottom lips, liking the taste of his lip balm, wishing that they can kiss even more, but they shouldn't. They're still in public.

That was amazing – Riku tries to tell him, but he hears no replies.

Yushi-kun?

He stares at Yushi confusedly, watching how the younger is also looking at him with questions in his eyes.

“You can't hear me anymore?” Yushi finally asks the question they're both thinking about.

“I guess not…”

Yushi frowns at that, feeling completely sad that they lost their special connection. He already misses hearing Riku senpai’s energetic rants inside his mind.

“Are you that sad to not hear me anymore?”

Yushi nods, slowly opening his arms so he can get a hug.

Riku indulges his request, hugging him tightly.

“You could always tell me all your thoughts still. I won't mind.”

“It's not the same,” Yushi mumbles to the elder’s shirt.

Riku can only pat his back in condolence. He also misses the noises inside his head. But he's glad he has the opportunity to hear all of Yushi's desires. Now, they can plan their future even better.

Chapter Text

For Yushi, it’s like a night routine. Grabbing a clean towel, laying it gently and perfectly on Riku’s pillow, turning on the dehumidifier, and finally, sitting cross legged on the bed, waiting for Riku to come out from his shower.

That's been his task every night since last year, making sure Riku will have a comfortable sleep. It’s his way of spoiling the elder. He’s not good at being romantic or showering Riku with sweet words, so he tries to show off his love in a different way. It may seem simple and boring, but to Riku, it’s the little gestures that count.

And when Riku finally comes out of the shower, Yushi dries his hair carefully, making sure it’s not wet at the tips so the elder can rest comfortably.

They stare at each other’s eyes, sometimes having a silent conversation without words being uttered. Like expressing their exhaustion, or signaling that they want more than a good night kiss tonight. Or sometimes, they just make funny faces at each other, and see which one breaks first. The loser buys the other food as their usual bet. Riku finds it unfair since he always loses that game.

When Yushi is finally done with drying his hair, Riku takes his hand and pulls him into his lap, kissing him slowly in thanks. They fall backward into the bed and let Yushi lay on top of him as they talk in that position. Riku’s arms would be wrapped around his waist, and Yushi would inhale the fabric softener of Riku’s shirt, content in falling asleep like this.

And during other nights, they face side by side while Yushi’s left hand intertwines with Riku’s right hand. They whisper their words as if there are secrets between them, when in reality, it’s merely insignificant topics.

“I still can’t believe Ane told you about her boyfriend,” is tonight’s trivial topic as Riku pouts about it. “She told me a month after she told you. Why does she like you more than me?”

“It’s not like that. She just happened to mention it when we talked on the phone!”

“She still told you first. It’s not fair.”

“It’s not a big deal. I’m sure she’d tell you first if they get married,” Yushi tries to console his boyfriend.

“They like you too much. They’re not supposed to like you this much,” the elder continues to whine. “If anyone should like you the most, it should be me.”

Yushi grins, but thinks that Riku is completely wrong. It’s not his sisters that are the worst, it’s his parents!

“If anything, my parents like you too much. They still call you all the time when they can just call me. And they keep asking you to take care of me,” Yushi argues back.

“They just know you listen better to me,” Riku teases.

“It’s still not fair that they like you this much. I don’t want them to adopt you unofficially. You are only allowed to be their son-in-law.”

Riku giggles at that.

“You’re not allowed to be my sibling. Never ,” Yushi says too seriously and Riku laughs even more.

“Well, I’d only want to be a Tokuno if my cute boyfriend marries me,” Riku says teasingly with a glimmer of expectation.

“I will,” Yushi promises wholeheartedly, as if he doesn’t want to ever break this promise.

Riku yawns as his exhaustion slowly starts to return. Yushi scoots closer, noticing that the elder will fall asleep soon. He pulls Yushi into his chest, wrapping an arm around him as Yushi nuzzles against his neck.

“Yu-chan,” he whispers as he closes his eyes tiredly, fingers stroking Yushi’s back tantalizingly. “I like you the most, not them.”

Yushi giggles softly, thinking that the elder is still jealous despite them changing the topic a while ago. He gets it though, he doesn’t want his family to steal Riku either, as if both are just too obsessed with each other.

“I love you,” he tells Riku, giving reassurance that Riku is still his number one.

Chapter Text

“Taiyo! Taishi! Come downstairs!” Yushi yells after washing the dishes.

The footsteps of two 6 year old boys echo from upstairs, a ruckus that Yushi has gotten used to.

“I'm going first!” Taiyo teases his younger, twin brother on purpose.

“No!” Taishi denies, trying to catch up.

They race downstairs hecticly, bumping against each other, almost slipping from the wooden steps. Yushi’s heart almost drops at the sight of Taiyo slipping a little from a step. Luckily, he uses his tail to grab the railing and regains his balance before running again to the bottom.

In the end, Taiyo wins due to his tenacity.

“I win!”

“That's not fair! Mama! Taiyo cheated again!”

“I did not!!”

“You can both race again later,” Yushi tells them exasperatedly, interrupting this common argument. “I want to hear your presentation for tomorrow.”

“But…”

“I don't need to practice,” Taishi huffs out.

“I don't want to practice either.”

“Last time you forgot half of the words,” Yushi scolds Taiyo.

“I didn't!”

“I still want to hear it,” Yushi says adamantly. “Come on. The sooner you let me hear it, the sooner you can play again. Who wants to go first?”

Taishi frowns, feeling sad that he has to practice. Yushi watches as Taishi’s ears fold downward in sadness. Taishi has always been the expressive twin in comparison to Taiyo.

Meanwhile, Taiyo doesn't seem to care anymore and gives up on arguing. He wants to go back to playing so he decides to go first.

The topic of their presentation is their favorite toy and it should be about 30 seconds long.

“My favorite toy is a red ball because it can jump – “

“Bounce, not jump,” Yushi corrects him.

“Bounce really high and it has my favorite charatar – “

“Character.”

“Character, Cinnamoroll. My father buys – “

“Bought, not buys.”

“Bought it for me on my birthday last year and I really love it,” Taiyo says in the end excitedly, tail swinging back and forth.

“Good job baby,” Yushi gives him a high five while smiling, and Taiyo smacks it loudly while jumping up and down. “You can go back to playing.”

Taiyo immediately runs away after getting permission.

“Can I have candy if I don't make a mistake?” Taishi asks with a hopeful tone, his ears are still down.

“No,” Yushi looks at him unimpressed. “It'll be dinner time soon.”

Taishi pouts in response.

“You can have ice cream after dinner like usual.”

“But I want more than 1 spoon.”

“ If you do it perfectly.”

Taishi nods with a smile before starting his speech, ears finally raising up.

“My favorite toy is my green car because I can bring it anywhere I want and I like that it has a thunder sticker on the side. My father bu– bought it for me when I was small.”

“When you were four years old,” Yushi reminds him.

“When I was four years old,” Taishi corrected himself.

“Good job baby,” Yushi high fives him too, though Taishi looks disappointed that he made a mistake. “I'll give you an extra half spoon, okay?”

Taishi immediately smiles, tail swinging happily before running back to his room.

Yushi shakes his head in amusement at his kittens.

It's been 6 years, but he still feels like he's living in a domestic dream. After all, despite having twin fraternal boys and a princess, he doesn't feel as stressed out as most parents are these days. Taiyo and Taishi are rambunctious boys, but they're well behaved otherwise. And their youngest, Rina, is just too cute lately.

Though, he does get jealous that Riku dotes on her a little too much. He used to be Riku’s only baby until he gave birth to Rina. The twins were more independent so he didn't have to worry about fighting for Riku’s attention. But Rina knows how to make Riku listen to her, and he thinks it's unfair that he has to fight against a 2 year old for Riku's kisses.

Despite that, it has become a routine for Yushi to come home after work around 4 pm, and take care of the twins, who would go home earlier using their keys. It’s common for them to go home alone after elementary school. As for Riku, he would pick up Rina from daycare around 5 pm if he's not working overtime. Otherwise, Yushi would pick her up before going home.

While Riku gives Rina a shower, Yushi takes the time to prepare dinner and sets up their dining table. The twins would either play or do their homework with Yushi before they eat dinner together.

Once Riku is done with Rina, Yushi takes over putting on her clothes and fixing her hair. This way Riku can spend time with the twins, getting rid of their extra energy by pretending to be cat ninjas, or dogs vs cats.

After a quick round of chasing each other, they all sit on the table and eat together. Riku tends to coo over Rina, helping her with the littlest thing despite Yushi's scolding. Taiyo likes to tease Rina, playing with her ear, caressing it, causing Rina to whine loudly at the annoyance, hissing at her brother. Riku thinks it's the cutest thing ever, taking a video of it instead of eating. Meanwhile Taishi is too similar to Yushi, eating without a care and finishing his meal first. He immediately asks for dessert when he's done.

“Ice cream!”

“Me too!”

“Finish your meal,” Riku scolds Taiyo, who sulks.

“That's not how you ask nicely,” Yushi scolds them.

“Can I have some ice cream please?” Taishi asks cutely.

“Of course,” Yushi says softly.

Despite thinking he’d never be the kind of parent to have a favorite child, he really loves how Taishi reminds him of Riku. It’s the way his baby would react to certain things, reminding him of how Riku would react to the smallest thing. The elder finds the comparison to be funny since Taishi looks more like Yushi, so he always thought that Taishi is like a mini Yushi. It becomes a common argument between them, on which kitten takes after who.

Yushi goes to grab the ice cream in the freezer while Taishi follows him from behind, holding his empty plate. Yushi takes it from him and puts it on the counter before grabbing a clean cup. He scoops 1.5 scoops of ice cream into the cup before giving it to Taishi.

“Slow down,” Riku scolds Taiyo, who wants to finish quickly so he can have ice cream too.

He stuffs his face full of food, almost like a squirrel, just so his plate becomes empty faster.

Rina giggles at her brother’s expression, smacking her table in excitement. Her tail swishes quickly, thumping against the chair.

Taiyo slowly swallows in discomfort, his cheeks are slowly getting smaller. If he wasn’t a cat hybrid, Riku would think his son is trying to be a squirrel these days.

“Just calm down. The ice cream won't disappear,” Riku reminds him gently.

Taiyo takes a gulp of water before shoving more food inside. Riku sighs exasperatedly, still watching over him.

Yushi comes back to the table with Taishi, who looks happy to be eating his ice cream. He sits back down next to Taiyo, carefully placing his cup on the table, taking his time.

Yushi goes back to his chair, sitting down and picking up his spoon again. He lets Riku watch over them as he enjoys his food, taking a break from the chaos.

He can feel Riku’s tail slide across his back, tickling him a little before settling around his waist. He feels the warmth from the elder’s tail and he smiles at his plate, liking this small moment from Riku. It makes him happy that Riku still wants to love him, even after almost 9 years of being together. His tail swishes contentedly, tangling itself against Riku’s tail. He can't wait for their alone time tonight.

**

Rina falls asleep the easiest. Yushi only has to hold her for a few minutes, rocking her to sleep with a lullaby before gently placing her down.

Meanwhile, the twins get ready for bedtime at a glacial pace, stalling for time as if they think their parents will let them stay up the whole night if they keep postponing. Sometimes Yushi and Riku would wonder why their kittens are like this, as if it’s a surprise for them that night time is the time for sleeping.

Despite that nightly struggle, the best part is still when they tuck their kittens into their beds, licking their cheeks and leaving their scents onto their bodies, wishing them a peaceful dream. Their innocent and cute faces always give them an insurmountable happiness.

When they’re finally done with bedtime, Yushi climbs into their marital bed in happiness, stretching against the sheet and rubbing his scent into Riku’s side. He doesn’t really need to mark his territory anymore, they’ve been together long enough that no other scents will cling onto Riku, but Yushi likes the idea of keeping his mark on Riku. He kneads on the sheet gently, gently clawing on the sheet while purring. Riku would stare at him with intense eyes whenever Yushi became like this.

In the meantime, for Riku, he likes to scent Yushi before he leaves for work, licking his neck and biting it. They both have a rather possessive side towards each other.

Though, Riku is still the worst one out of the two of them. Easily getting jealous if he sees some random hybrid approach his mate, even if the reason is a valid one. He just doesn’t want Yushi to pay attention to those pests, viewing them as if they're rodents he wants to crush. It doesn’t help that Yushi seems to enable his jealous side, finding it a complete turn-on when Riku places a possessive arm around him or licks him publicly. It’s probably why they didn’t have a hard time producing fraternal twins, using mating as a way to satiate the possessiveness within them.

Even now, with 3 kittens and feeling the exhaustion digging into their muscles, they still want to mark and knead each other as if they’re still newlyweds.

Riku is particularly happy tonight, leaving kittenish licks into Yushi’s neck, biting a mark on his shoulder before licking the blood off. Yushi shivers underneath him, wrapping his tail around Riku’s waist and licking his chin lovingly.

“Riku, don't tease,” Yushi whines at him, wanting the elder to skip the foreplay.

“I'm not,” Riku insists. He just wants to make Yushi feel good tonight.

The younger one smells heavenly tonight, possibly his heat is approaching soon, and it makes his scent stronger in the days following it. Riku tends to become overbearing when Yushi’s heat approaches, simply wanting to overpower that scent with his own, just so others can't smell it.

He does this by licking Yushi with his tongue, the easiest method to cover Yushi with his scent. Whether it's his neck or the wetness that seeps out from Yushi's hole, his saliva coats over Yushi's scent, making sure that no one else can smell that heavenly scent. It helps that Riku likes eating Yushi out, taking his time to clean out the slick that seeps out, and pushing his tongue inside the tight hole, playing against the sensitive entrance.

It makes Yushi trash against the bed, his claws dig into the sheet, and he withholds the purrs that threaten to come out. He pushes his ass towards Riku’s face, wanting more pleasure. And when he's unable to stay quiet, Riku places the ball gag against his mouth, shushing him before spreading his legs wider, just so he can eat him out more easily. Yushi’s purrs sound more muted, like a small vibration in the background.

Riku can spend an hour like this, just suckling on the sweet slick and stretching that hole with his tongue and fingers. His erection feels heavy by then, hanging achingly as he manhandles Yushi into position, bending the younger's legs against his chest.

Riku smiles wickedly as he rubs his tip against the entrance, teasing him a little before pressing in. Yushi closes his eyes instinctively, feeling the wide stretch as Riku slowly pushes in inch by inch. He rocks his hips a few times, making sure Yushi gets used to the stretch before completely plugging him with his cock.

It's Yushi's favorite part of mating when Riku completely fills him, making him crave the days when they could fuck without worrying about the kittens waking up. The pace is agonizingly slow because Riku likes making sure that he's not hurting his precious mate. But once Yushi gives him the signal, Riku throws away his ‘nice guy’ act and thrusts impatiently.

Yushi can only claw against the elder's back, feeling over sensitized as the elder fuck without a care, skin smacking loudly and pre-cum dripping into his stomach. And when Riku is close to climax, he takes off Yushi's ball gag, throwing it away impatiently before kissing him passionately, 

He can feel the barbs on his erection slowly form, scraping against the wet, warm hole, stimulating Yushi to ovulate. He lifts up Yushi’s hips, purposely grinds against his prostate as the pleasure intensifies. Soon, his barbs prevent his cock from exiting and it's only then that he ejaculates, grunting at the sensation of his cum being released into Yushi's hole. Yushi yowls into the pillow as the barbs tug against his hole, blinking the tears away.

Normally, an egg would be released during the stimulation from the barbs, but Yushi’s birth control prevents it. Still, the younger one likes to pretend that he has been successfully bred, purring after the pain subsides. He whimpers underneath Riku, feels the cum slosh inside and makes his hole full. He throws his head backward as Riku grabs his cock and forces him into an orgasm, clawing against the sheet and wrapping his tail around Riku's arm. He pants softly, feeling his limbs getting weak from the overstimulation.

He feels sated and sleepy by now, letting Riku lick his face and eyes, placing more of his scent onto him. He feels happy like this, eyes closing as his exhaustion starts to deepen. Tomorrow will be another parenting challenge, but tonight, he’s simply Riku's mate.

Chapter Text

It's simply a black button. One that looks too inconspicuous to have any meaning to the naked eye. Yet, a tradition formed since World War 2, where men would give their second button of their military uniform to a most loved one. The tradition continued to this day, where students would give their buttons to their crush. This button signifies their heart, since it was located near their heart, and how they want that special someone to have it.

To Maeda Riku, this tradition became an event that he looked forward to. After hearing so many stories from his older sisters and their friends, he imagined countless scenarios of giving his button to someone special. Someone he considers to be the cutest, the funniest, and the coolest person he knows of.

That someone ends up to be his closest friend, and eventually, his boyfriend.

Tokuno Yushi. That's his name.

A boyfriend whose presence carries more meaning than playing volleyball. A boyfriend who waits for him outside the gym when practice runs late, just because. And a boyfriend that lets him be himself when he's tired of being the Maeda Riku.

Seeing him causes a feeling that overwhelms his heart. He knows that he shouldn't like a boy, but he does , and it doesn't scare him. He's happy, deliriously happy that he found someone as special as Yushi.

That's why there is no hesitation in his heart as graduation day approaches. There's simply anticipation in his heart as that morning arrives. He's feeling slightly giddy, and slightly anxious about Yushi's reaction. Because it feels like the biggest step in their relationship. As if a promise forms between them, that Yushi will forever have his heart.

At least, that's what it feels like to Riku.

Still, he stands bravely in front of Yushi's front door. Inhaling a deep breath before ringing the bell.

It's a beautiful, sunny morning. The chilliness has subdued and his hands don't feel as cold as yesterday. He thinks it's perfect weather for him to convey his feelings.

To his relief, Yushi opens the door, looking a little surprised to see him, before quickly closing it. He doesn't want his parents to notice who the guest was. He pushes Riku out of the camera door’s view, making sure there's no unwanted gazes from his family.

Riku doesn't mind it. He knows how worried Yushi gets about keeping their relationship low-key.

“Riku-kun, what's wrong?” Yushi asks in a worried tone.

He doesn't expect Riku to suddenly visit him on graduation day. He tries to not stare at how handsome Riku looks today. He thinks it's unfair that his boyfriend can look so dashing on a Wednesday morning.

“Close your eyes,” Riku requests with a wide grin.

“... You can’t… We're in public,” Yushi says in a rather panicked tone, worried that Riku might kiss him like last time.

The elder always did find the most annoying way to surprise Yushi with a kiss.

“It’s not that!” Riku says loudly, his laughter echoes in the air as Yushi blushes in reaction.

The younger pushes him away with a glare, almost huffing at him as if he's an angry kitten.

“It's something even better,” Riku promises after his laughter subsides.

Yushi doesn't believe him though.

“Please,” the elder begs, this time with a small pout.

“Fine,” Yushi eventually relents, only because he needs to get ready for the graduation ceremony.

“Put out your hand like this, and close your eyes,” Riku tells him.

“Okay…” Yushi says reluctantly before closing his eyes and putting out his hand.

He doesn't know what to expect.

5 years ago, he'd guess Riku would place a ladybug on his palm. A year ago, Riku would place a jelly gummy on his palm, telling him to try his favorite gummy. And now, he doesn't know what kind of thing Riku is addicted to these days. If he had to guess, maybe the elder wanted to show off his new Shin-chan merchandise.

Yet, he feels something tiny on his palm, something that makes him curious. And even when he slowly opens his eyes, he stares at it for the longest time.

It's simply a button. A black button that should not have any meaning. A black button that should feel weightless and trivial. Yet, on this day, this button feels the heaviest in his palm.

“You’re the only one who can have it,” Riku says softly. “Please take care of it.”

Yushi stays silent as the words echo in his mind.

He knows the meaning of it. He has heard the stories from his senpais, how it signifies the person's heart and how the receiver should feel lucky. But he was never the type to care about this kind of thing. Because it's just a button. It doesn't have the superpower to make their relationship last forever.

Despite that, the words and the intentions behind Riku’s gesture make him emotional.

His eyes glisten at the thought of holding Riku's heart in his palm. It feels precious. As if he wants to treasure it forever, selfishly locking it in a box and not letting anyone else have or see it.

“Yu-chan,” a cold hand cups his cheek as Riku steps closer to him. “Don't cry,” he whispers as if saying it too loud will make Yushi cry for real.

“I… I'm not.”

Yushi looks away, quickly wiping his eyes in embarrassment. He feels silly for getting emotional for no reason.

“Yu-chan is so cute today,” Riku teases him affectionately and Yushi glares at him, smacking his hand away in retaliation.

“Go home,” the younger tells him, clenching the button in his palm as he turns around to go back to his house.

“Kiss?” Riku asks loudly, knowing it'll rile up Yushi on purpose.

Yushi resists the urge to face him, entering his house without a second look at his boyfriend. Though, he does text a kiss emoji to Riku later on  feeling the guilt heavy in his heart.

He places the button inside a small capsule, a temporary home for Riku's heart until he finds a better place for it. For now, he gets ready quickly for the ceremony, looking forward to seeing Riku graduate and taking a picture beside him later on.

**

1 year later.

I better get your button too.

That's what Riku told him a year ago, childishly and bossily, as if cementing the idea that they'll still be together after a year.

Yushi was worried about the distance initially, with Riku studying an hour away and having less free time, but they made it work. Whether it's 5 minutes in front of Yushi's house, or eating ramen in their favorite restaurant, Riku didn't let go of him.

He ran to Yushi when the stress was too much, and Yushi ran to him when he wanted to escape his father's expectations. Their mutual dependencies became a part of their lives.

That's why Yushi looks forward to this day, wanting to give this button away to Riku publicly in front of his classmates.

Last year, no one could figure out who got Riku's button. Riku simply said it was a special someone he met before heading to school. They all thought it was a girl outside the school, and Riku didn't correct them.

Despite Yushi feeling relieved, he ended up wanting Riku to say his name. Like a selfish, spoiled boyfriend who wants to be paraded around. But he knew he couldn't risk it when he was still a student, so he waited until this day. A way to say ‘Fuck you’ to all the girls and boys who wanted Riku. He's been withholding that frustration for years, and Riku thinks it's quite amusing, that jerk.

So after the ceremony ends, he meets with his parents first, taking a picture with them, as well as with his younger brother. He takes a picture with his friends, chuckling with them as some of them get rowdy.

It's only when he's busy having a good time that he finally notices Riku approaching him.

The elder walks to him with a crisp buttoned up dark blue long-sleeve shirt and a pair of black pants. He purposely chooses Yushi's favorite color and it makes Yushi giddy with happiness.

“Congratulations,” Riku says sincerely and Yushi smiles at him.

“You took so long,” Yushi complains.

“Sorry, sorry, I had class before, and traffic took longer than I thought,” Riku explains sheepishly.

Yushi lets the topic go, simply grabbing Riku's hand and leading him towards an open area.

“Am I getting a present?” Riku teases.

“No, I gave it away already,” Yushi lies without remorse.

“... I know you're joking, but I'll seriously cry if you keep teasing me like that,” Riku tells him with a slightly sad tone.

The second button means the world to him, and Yushi knows it. To hold it over Riku's head is fun since Yushi is always the victim of Riku's teasing.

Before Yushi can even offer his button to Riku, a girl interrupts them, asking Yushi if he will give his button to her. Then another girl shows up, along with her friends, asking Yushi the same question, pushing the first girl away. The situation repeats as more girls surround them.

The frustrations start to build up within Yushi, hating the fact that they're ruining his moment with Riku. He wants to yell at them angrily, but he knows it's too childish for him to behave like a kid.

He ends up exchanging a glance at Riku, who looks emphatic at his situation. The elder has been in this situation before, a year ago when his classmates kept hounding him. He can't force Yushi to ignore them or to run away. He can only give emotional support with his smile.

And maybe that's all Yushi needed. A small reassurance for him to be courageous.

“Maeda senpai!” He calls him out loudly. “Will you accept my button?”

“He can't…” a girl immediately tries to deny.

“Of course,” Riku interrupts her, smiling at Yushi. “I'll accept it.”

Yushi grins at him, clenching the button in his uniform before pulling it off handsomely. He raises his hand in the air, making sure Riku can reach him, and is able to take it from his palm.

“B… but…” A girl stutters, not understanding what just happened.

The other girls are still staring at them in shock.

Riku makes a show for the girls, pocketing the button in his chest pocket, tapping it against his chest lovingly.

It's simply a button. One that shouldn't carry any meaning. But to Riku, it's a button that means the most to him. It symbolizes Yushi's fragile heart, a tiny object for him to keep and protect.

Despite Yushi's bold declaration, the younger still feels shy in the end so he excuses himself, quickly walking away with Riku following him.

The elder giggles at his boyfriend’s cute reaction, grabbing his wrist and telling him to relax, that no one else is looking at them. They're now alone from everyone's eyes.

Yushi turns around and faces him with an unsure expression, asking if Riku was okay with all of that.

“Of course I am. That's what we both wanted,” Riku reassures him.

Yushi sighs a little in relief, staring at Riku's eyes in contentment. Riku thinks he's the cutest when he unnecessarily worries.

“Yu-chan, I hope you know that I'm never letting you go from now on. I’m going to take care of it, and you, from now on,” Riku promises.

Yushi's heart constricts at Riku's proposal. It's not the first time the elder has indirectly proposed, and the emotion always feels overwhelming each time. He wonders if he'll ever stop feeling this way about Riku's sweet words.

He can only reply with a quick kiss on Riku's cheek, ignoring when the elder pouts, asking for a real kiss. He's not brave enough to risk that.

“Let's go home first,” Yushi says shyly, looking forward to being alone together, after days of separation.

Riku quickly agrees, looking forward to that also. But first, he wants a picture of them to commemorate today.

They end up posing near the same tree as last year's photo. It was a selfie of Yushi smiling shyly at the camera while Riku has his arm around his waist. This year, Riku wraps his arms around Yushi's waist, forcing the younger one to take the selfie. 

It's the perfect end to Riku's favorite event, to have each other's buttons.

Chapter Text

It was common knowledge that when you turned 10 years old, you would receive your very own chibi, a miniature version of yourself that accompanies you until you die. These chibis are simply 10 cm tall, shaped exactly like the person, and they speak in a high pitched language that only other chibis can understand. They live like humans; they eat, sleep, go through emotions and eventually, succumb to death. The only thing they don’t experience is sickness for some reason. They simply die when their person dies too, as if their souls are intertwined.

Riku was ecstatic when he first met Kuri, his very own chibi. He became best friends with him, told him stories of his adventures, cried with him when life was unexpectedly hard, and spoiled him with the best chibi merchandise. They became inseparable as Kuri rode in Riku’s pocket during the day, and slept inside of it when Riku hadn't gone home yet. Kuri even befriended the chibi versions of Riku’s friends, playing with them as their persons hang out together.

He even went on dates with Riku, giving him the emotional support to become confident, and patting Riku’s hand when the date went bad. There were no experiences they haven’t shared with each other.

One day, Riku loses Kuri by accident. It’s one of those busy moments where Riku is juggling with many tasks and takes Kuri out of his pocket without thinking of the consequences. He meant to put him back into his pocket, but somehow forgot about him when he rushed to catch the train. He only realizes it when he’s five stops away from home, panicking that he lost his chibi by accident.

That’s how Yushi meets Kuri for the first time. The chibi is crying and hiccuping beside the wall pillar, barely attracting the attention of passerby, but somehow, Yuchi, Yushi’s chibi, is able to hear him clearly. Yuchi offers a helping hand to Kuri, who looks wary at meeting a strange chibi. They speak in their language as Yushi watches over them while squatting down.

My person will find your person!

What if he can’t find him?

We’ll keep searching! Even if it takes forever, we won’t give up!

Promise?

I promise.

Yuchi shows him his pinky and Kuri reluctantly shakes it.

“Should we go home now?” Yushi asks them quietly.

Kuri looks at him guardedly, cautious of this person as he grabs onto Yuchi’s arm for protection. Yuchi makes an ‘okay’ gesture to Yushi, who carefully puts both of them into his pocket. It’s very snug with 2 chibis, but Kuri doesn’t mind it since Yuchi’s presence is calming him down. They go home together using the train before Yushi walks to the apartment building.

Yushi’s apartment is a rather spacious apartment with Yuchi having his own room. Yuchi grabs Kuri’s hand and shows him around the apartment excitedly, including his room. Then, they have dinner together, where Yushi offers some rice and tiny pieces of meat. Sadly, Kuri seems lethargic and sad tonight, not wanting to eat anything since he misses his person. Yushi looks worried as he doesn’t want Kuri to go to bed feeling hungry, so he asks Kuri if there is anything he wants.

What about ice cream? – Yuchi asks him

Kuri shakes his head.

Chocolate?

Kuri still rejects it.

What’s your favorite food then? Anything you want! Even candy!

They both look at Kuri eagerly, hoping that Kuri will choose something.

It takes a minute of hesitation before Kuri finally answers them.

Jelly?

Yuchi grins at him excitedly.

Okay! Let’s buy you jelly!

Yuchi grabs the miniature pencil and writes ‘jelly’ on paper so Yushi can understand.

“Okay,” Yushi says with a soft smile. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He stands up immediately, and grabs his phone and wallet before leaving his apartment. He’s only gone for a few minutes before he returns with different packs of jellies.

He opens a bag for Kuri and lets him pick a jelly before offering it to Yuchi. He watches as the two chibis talk, sharing bites of each other’s jellies. He smiles at them, hoping that Kuri will feel better after tonight.

**

It’s been a week since Kuri has entered their lives and the chibi is slowly adjusting to this new environment. After the first night, Kuri slowly warms up to them, especially to Yuchi, who he considers as his first real friend. They become inseparable as they play games together, sleep beside each other and feed each other the occasional jelly. Kuri is also starting to like Yushi, waving at him in greeting and goodbye, offering a jelly when Yushi looks tired, and dancing with Yuchi when Yuchi wants to make his person smile. Yushi finds them too adorable, smiling at them and giggling with them when they’re being funny.

At the same time, Yushi looks for Kuri’s person while Kuri is distracted. He posts Kuri’s picture in ‘Missing Chibi’ website, gives out Kuri’s photos in Chewyz, a jelly store that Kuri’s person likes, and he checks for any posts in many groups, just in case someone is looking for Kuri. He still hasn't gotten a lead yet.

Just as Yushi is starting to worry that Kuri’s person will never find them, he finally receives a reply from someone.

According to the reply, Kuri’s person, Riku, is very bad with technology and had to ask a friend to check the ‘Missing Chibi’ website. That's why it takes Riku two weeks before finally noticing the post that Yushi made. Riku’s friend, Sion, comments that Riku cried dramatically after finding out that his Kuri is alright. Yushi can only sigh in relief as he feels happy for both Riku and Kuri.

With Sion’s help, they’re able to set a meeting date in a nearby coffee shop during the weekend.

Once the weekend arrives, Kuri seems very hyper and excited to meet his person again. He talks rapidly with Yuchi, their conversations seem to flow endlessly as Yushi slowly walks to the coffee shop. By the time they arrive, Yushi brings them to a table and lets them sit on it while he orders a warm milk tea.

They don't wait long before Riku finally arrives, looking frazzled before noticing Kuri.

Kuri jumps up and down excitedly, waving at his person, and finally calms down when Riku crouches in front him, beside the table with tearful eyes.

“Thank god you're okay,” Riku tells him, offering his index finger so Kuri can touch it with his palm.

It's how they comfort each other since Kuri can't hug him.

Then, Kuri speaks rapidly to Riku, almost like he's telling Riku his whole experience. Afterwards, he grabs Yuchi’s hand and pulls him closer to him, pointing at him while saying something.

“Oh, you made a friend?” Riku asks with a warm smile, feeling happy that Kuri had a good experience.

Boyfriend – Kuri says to him, but Riku won't understand his reply.

Yuchi grins at his word, smiling at Kuri ecstatically.

Riku can only look confused at them, and Kuri decides to do the only thing he can think of to get his point across.

Kuri kisses Yuchi’s cheek without shyness and hugs him, showing off their fresh relationship.

Yushi sputters in reaction, not expecting them to come out with this news since he thought they were just friends. Meanwhile, Riku looks more shocked than Yushi, feeling somewhat jealous but happy for his chibi. Neither of them know what to say, simply remaining silent, even when Yuchi kisses Kuri’s lips and Kuri looks so shy after it.

“Um, I swear I didn't mean this to happen,” Yushi says to Riku, feeling embarrassed that his chibi seduced Kuri. He doesn't even know how Yuchi achieved this. He wishes he could seduce someone as cute as Riku.

Even standing next to Riku is making his heart palpate too much.

“It's okay,” Riku tells him, avoiding Yushi's eyes out of shyness. “Kuri seems happy and I'm glad he found someone to love. Thank you for taking care of him,” he says sincerely, briefly glancing at Yushi's eyes before looking away.

“I was happy to,” Yushi tells him truthfully.

They share a shy smile at each other before focusing back on their chibis, wondering when they can go home since they’re still awkward with each other.

**

A few months pass by, and Riku and Yushi are starting to become good friends. After all the dates between their chibis, they end up learning more about each other and find many common interests between them. Like the way they enjoy hip hop music or how they’re both sweet tooth people. Riku particularly finds Yushi to be naturally funny, something that Yushi gets embarrassed about. While Yushi thinks Riku is too cool to be single, wondering why those crazy people rejected Riku in the past.

They sometimes spend hours just enjoying each other’s company, watching a film while their chibis are hiding in Yuchi’s room. Riku thinks their chibis are playing a game together inside the room, but Yushi knows better of their intentions. He did accidentally hear a moan one day.

And there are times when Yushi stares at Riku in an obvious way, as if wanting to blurt out his feelings due to the intensity. He sometimes wonders if Riku is just being oblivious, or maybe the elder is simply giving a hint that he’s not interested. Yushi wishes that Riku could stop being nice so that he can move on.

Meanwhile, Riku himself feels flustered whenever Yushi gets touchy with him. There’s a sense of shyness and disbelief that Yushi doesn’t mind being affectionate towards him. It’s giving him hope that Yushi might like him more than just a friend, that the younger one has a crush on him. But he’s scared to ask him, and he feels worried that if he’s wrong, it’d ruin their friendship, as well as the comfortable atmosphere between them.

He wishes he can talk to Kuri about it, missing the nights when they’d talk about their problems. He wonders who he can depend on if Kuri is too busy with Yuchi.

Talk with Yushi, of course – his brain logically recommends.

Riku groans internally, hating his brain for giving a viable idea.

But he’s still not brave enough to choose an option so he ends up suppressing his emotions, thinking he doesn’t need to know the truth yet. But over time, delaying the truth doesn’t make him feel better, and it makes him wish that he could finally peel off the bandage, even if it hurts.

By then, he goes to Kuri with a heavy heart, spilling the truth with tearful eyes that he wants to know how Yushi feels about him, but he’s still too scared to ask him.

Then write it – Kuri writes it on a piece of paper.

Riku stares at his reply for the longest time.

I like you – Kuri writes as an example.

It’s less scary right? – He then writes with a smile.

Riku smiles as he realizes that he was overthinking this. Of course Kuri would give him the best idea.

He smiles at his chibi and offers his index finger, thanking his chibi for being the smart one between them. Kuri presses his palm against Riku’s finger, sending his positive energy as encouragement.

It’s then that Riku decides to write his emotions in flashcards, as if he’s presenting his feelings to Yushi.

The concept itself probably seems silly to most people, but Riku knows Yushi well enough that the younger won’t hate it. In fact, the younger might find the idea to be funny.

Riku decides to confess when they’re sitting on the couch, facing each other as the movie runs in the background. He gives the first flashcard to Yushi.

Do you like me?

Yushi looks at it confused, feeling his heart speed up in anxiety. He looks up at Riku, wondering why he asked this question.

Riku gives him the next card.

Because I like you, a lot.

Riku looks at his lap in shyness, not noticing how Yushi flushes in embarrassment. He then gives the last card to Yushi.

If you do like me, then can I take you out on a date?

Yushi nods too quickly, not realizing that he needs to verbalize his reply.

“Yeah… L… let’s go on a date,” Yushi tells him with a rather bashful tone.

“R… really?” Riku whispers, as if he can’t believe the reply he got. He looks up at Yushi, looking timid under the younger’s gaze.

“Yeah,” Yushi confirms without hesitation and places a hand on top of Riku’s.

They still have a long way to catch up with their chibis’ relationship, but it’s a sweet beginning.

Chapter Text

“How does a logical person park a car?” Jaehee asks Yushi during their lunch break in the cafeteria.

Yushi raises an eyebrow at the question, wondering why the random question.

“Valid parking,” Jaehee answers with a proud grin, waiting for Yushi to react.

A random intern chuckles, and Yushi glares at that idiot for giving validation to Jaehee.

“Aw, come on hyung. That's not funny?” Jaehee pouts at Yushi.

“Stick with being a doctor,” Yushi simply tells him before finishing his last bite.

Jaehee pouts at him before swallowing a spoon of rice in spite.

“He's just grumpy because Mr. Detective didn't leave a gift today,” Jungbin teases.

Yushi glares at his best friend for being nosy.

“Oh? Mr. Maeda didn't send a flower today?” Jaehee asks too cheerfully.

“Nor bubble teas nor cakes,” Jungbin says with a rather fake sigh.

“I don't care about his gifts.”

“So you look forward to his visits then?”

“No,” Yushi says as sternly as he can.

“Can I have him then?”

“You like pretty girls.”

“So? Handsome men can be pretty too,” Jungbin makes a good point.

Yushi can only withhold his irritation as he knows that Jungbin is just riling him up for fun. After all, Jungbin just wants him to admit that he likes Mr. Maeda. But Yushi doesn't , at least, he doesn't think that he does.

Luckily, his beeper beeps repeatedly, saving him from Jungbin’s questions and Jaehee’s curious expressions. It's time to get back to hell .

**

It all started a few months ago. A detective was wheeled in into the E.R. with a stab wound, and Maeda Riku is his name. His smile caused the nurses to fluster, and his friendly demeanor made it easy for anyone to fall for his charms. It was a lost fight before anyone could even defend themselves.

It wasn't even a serious injury in the first place. The patient only needed seven stitches, but somehow, everyone gave Mr. Maeda the royal treatment.

Ever since that day, he became a recurring patient. If it's not a stab wound, it’s broken ribs, or a black eye, or even a knife lodged into his thigh. It's like every visit is conveniently not dangerous enough so that Dr. Tokuno could handle it. Yushi doesn't know if he should feel frustrated or glad that his patient is never on the verge of death.

It doesn't help that Mr. Maeda seems to always seek for him. Purposely waiting for Dr. Tokuno instead of seeing the first available doctor, even when he's bleeding in his chair and looking a little pale.

“It's just blood dripping,” Mr. Maeda would shrug it off with a smile. “There are other urgent patients besides me. I can go last.”

No you can't, you idiot!!! – Yushi felt like yelling at him at that moment.

He wanted to scold Mr. Maeda the moment he entered the private room, but those pretty eyes glanced at him, and his curly smile made his traitorous heart skip a beat.

He hated how weak he was.

He didn't want to look forward to the small gifts. Whether it's bubble tea, his favorite instant ramen, or a single lovely flower. He wanted to deny these gifts stubbornly because he shouldn't like a patient. 

But it's really hard to ignore Mr. Maeda’s charm. Even the nurses have somehow formed a pact to help Mr. Maeda win Dr. Tokuno's heart. As if they have nothing better to do than to list out Dr. Tokuno’s likes and dislikes. They even keep Mr. Maeda’s gifts in the nurses station and offer to give it to Dr. Tokuno. Yushi thinks he's losing this war.

Despite that, he's still reluctant to admit anything because he knows how this relationship will become later on. At first, Mr. Maeda will be smitten, and the first few months will be amazing, but then Yushi's work will take priority, and their dates will always get cancelled. Soon they break up, and Yushi spends another new year wishing for love. It's depressing , and if he wants a depressing love story, he can just watch a k-drama instead. For now, he'll just keep rejecting Mr. Maeda and hope that the guy will give up soon. Hopefully.

**

“Fuck,” Riku curses as he brushes off the dirt off his clothes.

He's not injured besides his sore jaw from that punch, and how his left ankle feels a little sore from kicking someone before. It's not serious enough that he needs to go to the E.R., and that sucks . He wanted to see his cute doctor tonight.

How is he supposed to go there without a valid reason?

Or maybe, he should create a valid reason.

“Hyung, I'll give you 20,000 won if you stab me,” Riku pleads to Sion.

“Just ask him out already,” Sion rolls his eyes, knowing exactly why Riku asked that.

“Come on,” Riku whines. “Just one slash on my arm.”

“I'm not helping you hurt yourself,” Sion says in frustration. “Why can't you ask him out like a normal person?”

“I did, but he won't say ‘yes’. I just need like three more E.R. trips and he'll finally give up. I know he will.”

“You sound insane,” Sion tells him with a deadpan tone.

“Don’t you want your partner to find his happily ever after?”

“Don’t you want your partner to not end up in jail for stabbing his best friend?”

“You’ll survive in jail better than I would,” Riku replies cheekily.

“Fuck you,” Sion simply says before walking away.

“But I want to see him,” Riku whines loudly from behind.

“Then go see him!”

Riku doesn't know if Dr. Tokuno will see him, but for now, he'll just send him something.

**

“Mr. Maeda!” The registration nurse smiles at him with a toothy grin. “Are you here to check in? What will it be today?”

“Nah, I'm not here for treatment,” Riku chuckles at her, feeling glad that the nurses love him. “Just dropping off a gift.”

“That's so sweet! Dr. Tokuno was so grumpy today. He doesn't want to admit it, but I bet he was looking forward to your gift. He keeps passing by the nurses station for no reason since this morning.”

“Really?” Riku asks, feeling a little surprised, but also too happy. “Then, can I leave a message?”

“Of course!”

Riku quickly writes down a teasing remark before folding it and taping his message into the drink.

**

Yushi hates today. He wishes he can go home and scream at his pillow, but unfortunately, he's stuck teaching 2 interns on how to not kill someone. And most of all, his patients have been a pain in the ass, so it makes his day even worse.

It's days like this that makes him wish he chose a different specialty instead of becoming a trauma doctor.

Jungbin claims he's just grumpy because Mr. Maeda hasn't shown up yet for his weekly visit. Yushi thinks his best friend is crazy because he doesn't care if Mr. Maeda doesn't show up. It's a good thing that the detective finally gives up and stops bothering him. Yushi can finally live a peaceful life.

What kind of doctor needs love anyway?

Yushi stubbornly tells himself with this mindset as he walks to the nurses station to grab the next patient’s charts.

“Dr. Tokuno, Mr. Maeda passed by and left something for you,” one of the nurses says to him as she passes him a drink.

Yushi takes it without hesitation, feeling shocked by the news.

“W…what?” he stammers. “When? I mean, where is he?”

“He said he's feeling fine so he’s not waiting for you tonight. He just passed by to drop this off.”

“Oh…”

Yushi stares at the bubble tea in his hands as his mind and heart try to process his emotions. His ears feel warm as he thinks about how much he likes this gift despite not wanting to.

It somehow lessens the feelings of frustration and uneasiness in his heart. As if today will be okay.

“What did you get today?” Jungbin asks shamelessly, somehow showing up unannounced.

“Nothing,” Yushi hides the drink from Jungbin’s gaze. “Why are you here? Don't you have two patients in the ICU?”

“I have interns watching them,” Jungbin waves off his concerns. “Plus, your love life is more interesting to me,” he grins.

“It's not a love life. I don't like him. I just like his gifts.”

“Then prove it. Throw away the note he wrote,” Jungbin taunts him.

Yushi grips the cup, feeling the hesitation rise within him. He thinks that a few weeks ago he'd be okay with throwing out Mr. Maeda's notes, but now, he doesn't want to. He wants to know what the elder would say. Whether it's simply teasing him or asking him a question, he's too curious about the note.

And Jungbin can tell just by looking at Yushi's expression that he doesn't want to throw it out.

“Why can't you just admit that you like him?” Jungbin asks with a sigh, tired of guiding Yushi to make the right decisions.

“I…” Yushi frowns as he thinks about what to say, but ends up blurting out his feelings. “I can't, you know that.”

“And why not? What's wrong with liking him? He's a better guy than that weird sunbae who keeps asking you for money.”

“Because he'll get tired of waiting and I don't want that to happen. I don't want to know the feeling of losing him after knowing how great he is.”

“I just don't think Mr. Maeda will ever get tired of waiting for you,” Jungbin tells him. “I mean, he could have given up months ago when you yelled at him for being a crazy idiot, but he didn't. He just thought you were being stubborn for no reason. That guy likes you, a lot.”

“He was probably bored or something…” Yushi mutters, feeling somewhat shy after hearing Jungbin's words.

“Any guy who's willing to throw away his pride just to win you over is a guy worth keeping,” the nurse advises Yushi. “There are worse guys to fall for, and Mr. Maeda isn't one of them.”

Yushi looks down at his charts as he smiles to himself. He supposes it's true, liking Mr. Maeda isn’t a bad thing.

“Plus, I don't know why you'd think Mr. Maeda would ditch you because of your schedules. He works as a detective . I'm sure you'll spend more time missing him while he's away on cases.”

Yushi glares at his best friend for being mean. He just wanted reassurance, not a logical argument.

Though, after hearing everything, he finally finds the courage to admit it. That he likes Mr. Maeda and that he wants to date him. This feeling doesn't feel as scary as before.

It's probably why he decides to open Mr. Maeda’s message that's stuck to his bottle.

早く会いたい (I want to see you soon)

He smiles at the message as he traces Mr. Maeda’s handwriting. His heart squeezes at the thought of meeting the elder again.

**

A few weeks later.

Catching Kim Sungyoon shouldn’t have been difficult. This serial killer isn’t smart enough to use gloves when killing his victims, let alone creating a trap to hurt the police. That’s why the police let their guards down too easily, not realizing their mistake until a bomb blows up. A few of them become critically injured and Riku spends the next few minutes helping the wounded as the ringing continues in his ears.

It’s only when he tries to sit down that he realizes he has a shard of glass stuck on his stomach. He thinks the wound isn’t deep enough, but it hurts when he tries to sit down and it makes him feel a little dizzy. As he waits for help, he thinks about how Yushi will scold him for almost dying. He can’t wait to see him again. It almost makes up for this crappy day.

A few hours later, he wakes up the sound of someone screaming in the background. The E.R. is rather loud today, possibly due to the injured people from the bombing incident. Riku can only blink his eyes a few times as he stares at the ceiling, wondering if Yushi has seen him yet. He wonders if Yushi will yell at him or worry over him. Either way, the thought of seeing Yushi again after a few days is making him happy despite the pain.

“Hello Mr. Maeda. I’ll be your nurse for today. How are you feeling?” a pretty woman greets him with a smile, but Riku doesn’t find it that enchanting.

It only makes him miss Yushi and his shy smiles.

“Less crappy I think,” Riku replies. “Who’s my doctor for today?”

“Dr. Kang will be with you shortly.”

“Not Dr. Tokuno?” Riku asks with a pout.

“Unfortunately, he’s busy with other patients. And you already know that he can’t treat his loved ones.”

“I can still hope for it,” Riku sulks before groaning when the nurse moves his arm.

His shoulder feels more tense than before. Maybe he pulled a muscle when he helped someone.

“Don’t worry. I know for a fact that he wants to see you soon,” the nurse says reassuringly.

“Good. Tell him that I might die from loneliness if he doesn’t come soon,” Riku tells her with a grin and the nurse giggles before telling him to rest in the meantime.

A few hours pass by, and Yushi’s friends visit him, claiming that Yushi asked them. Apparently Yushi isn’t allowed to leave his post yet.

“If a kid won’t take a nap, is that ‘resisting a rest’?” Jaehee jokes at one point.

Riku can only remain silent before suggesting that he should keep his day job.

“It’s alright, you’ll find the right audience next time,” Jungbin consoles Jaehee as they both leave later on.

Another hour passes before Yushi finally shows up, peeking in like a shy person before entering the room.

“Yu-chan~” Riku greets him with a happy smile, beckoning him to come closer with his hand. “I wanted to see you hours ago.”

“There were people dying,” Yushi tells him with a deadpan expression before coming closer.

He lets Riku take his hand and squeezes it tightly, feeling relieved that his new boyfriend isn’t too injured. Beside the wound from the glass shard, Riku can technically be discharged by tomorrow if his CT scans are all clear.

“You’re so handsome today,” Riku tells him with a sappy smile.

“Did they give you too much morphine?”

“Nah, Yu-chan is my pain relief medicine,” the elder says shamelessly.

“You’re so weird today,” Yushi mutters, looking away, embarrassed.

“Sit next to me,” Riku whines, patting the edge of the bed. “Cuddle me before you go back to work.”

“Bossy,” Yushi comments but sits down beside him anyway, letting Riku lean his head on his shoulder.

Their fingers slowly intertwine as Riku closes his eyes and Yushi can feel his warm body beside him. They sit in silence for the next few minutes without words being exchanged.

“I’m really glad you’re okay,” Yushi says softly to him. “I was worried, but they told me to calm down first. And it was hard… All I wanted to do was to see you and forget about my patients. I never thought that I could feel this selfish…”

“That’s not selfish,” Riku reassures him. “That’s just human instinct. Of course you’d want to make sure that your boyfriend is okay. You love me.”

“I… I don’t,” Yushi denies his claim with red ears. “You’re just a boyfriend.”

“Yes, I am. I’m just Yushi’s boyfriend, and I love Yushi.”

Yushi stammers in reaction, feeling his ears burning in shyness and his heartbeat echo inside him. He refuses to look at Riku as the elder professes his love.

“And my Yu-chan loves me too, even if he won’t admit it,” Riku says teasingly without looking at him.

He doesn’t want Yushi to run away, so he won’t pressure the younger one to admit anything yet.

“It’s alright. I can wait. I like waiting for my cute doctor,” Riku says before kissing Yushi’s cheek.

He doesn’t mind that Yushi brushes off the kiss with his hand. After all, their relationship is still slowly evolving into something better.

And if anyone asks why he’s so patient, Riku wishes that they can see this rare moment. The moment when Yushi tucks him in and kisses his forehead. He’s just too happy to receive the younger’s love.

Chapter Text

Riku wakes up feeling warm, as if he has clothes on him when he shouldn't be wearing any. It's an unsettling feeling since he hates getting sweaty during his sleep. Which is why he feels confused and a little groggy this morning. He thinks that maybe he was too tired last night to take them off as he sits up on his bed and ruffles his hair. He doesn't notice how his skin looks lighter or how his hair feels shorter at that moment. He simply yawns and gets off the bed, walking to the bathroom with half opened eyes.

The first clue should have been how there's a hanging poster of Messi behind the door. The second clue is how his cat Kuri is missing, a rather mischievous cat that would usually try to trip him in the morning. He only notices that he's not himself when he finally faces the mirror, staring blankly into it, blinking his eyes as he realizes the reality.

At that point, he can conclude three things.

First, that’s not his face. That's Yushi's face. It's staring back at him with innocent eyes and a distinctive scar that doesn't belong to him.

Second, he thinks he must have traveled to an alternate reality, because there is no way that this could be happening to him. Or maybe, it's just a cruel yet pleasurable punishment for all the times he has masturbated while imagining Yushi's face.

It’s not his fault. He really tried to be a good best friend, but his dick keeps twitching in interest every time Yushi smiles at him. So really, it's his dick’s fault, not his.

But most of all…

Wow… If I could kiss myself, I would.

Of course, it’s just a fleeting thought, but it's a delicious thought. Unfortunately, he knows better than to act on it. 

He reminds himself that he already feels guilty about the amount of times he jacked off in Yushi's bathroom whenever he sleeps over. He doesn't need to add another reason to scold himself.

Instead, he thinks he’ll have fun pretending to be his best friend.

**

It doesn't take long for Yushi to notice their body swapping either. He panics immediately and forces Riku to meet up with him before school starts. This fake Riku looks anxious and worried, an unlikely attitude from the real, confident Riku.

“Did you do something different last night? Or maybe you ate something weird last night?” Yushi asks him with a worried glance before frowning over Riku's choice of clothing. “You can't wear that to school. That's not the kind of thing I'd wear.”

“Nope, nothing different. And I like this top. It shows how wide your shoulder is. Plus, I look pretty in this,” Riku says as he twirls nonsensically.

Yushi can't decide if he wants to yell in frustration or feel happy about the compliment because he does look nice in it. In the end, he shakes his head and forces himself to focus on the problem.

“I feel like Daeyoung will notice. Maybe we should skip classes until we're back in each other's bodies.”

“That sounds boring,” Riku rolls his eyes. “Pretending to be you is easy . I just need to talk less during school, and run home to Riku's arms at night time.”

“I don't run into your arms…” Yushi stares at him unimpressed.

“Which is a damn shame. Those biceps were built to hold you,” Riku sighs wistfully.

Yushi smacks Riku's arm as he glares, and Riku pretends to be hurt, rubbing his arm while pouting. He claims that Yushi forgot how strong fake Riku is.

“Can’t you be serious ? I don't want to be stuck in your body forever. Even this morning was…” Yushi can only state before blushing heavily.

“What?” Fake Yushi squints his eyes. “What was wrong with this morning?”

“It's just… Couldn't you sleep with clothes on like normal people?”

“You know I get hot easily,” Riku shrugs.

“And your thing didn't go down,” Yushi huffs. “I don't know why you get so horny in the morning.”

“Ohhh…” Riku says before smirking. “I mean, I am a healthy guy. Did you see how big it was?” he asks while wiggling his eyebrows.

“N..no!” Yushi sputters. “I just thought about boring stuff until it went down! You better not touch mine either!”

“Can't promise that,” Riku says nonchalantly. “It’s technically mine until you return to your body.”

“Rikuuuu,” Yushi whines while tugging fake Yushi's arm carefully, remembering that their strengths are different. “ Please . Let's just keep our hands to ourselves, and I'll owe you one!”

Riku stares at Yushi momentarily, realizing that he'll never be immune to Yushi's begging, even if Yushi is inside Riku’s body. The younger one looks too adorable as fake Riku, and he should have known. He's not immune to his own face.

If someone were to scold him for loving himself too much, Riku wouldn't disagree with them.

“Okay, okay,” the elder finally relented. “I'll be good for Yu-chan.”

The way fake Riku smiles at him makes Riku wonder why Yushi won't just fall in love with him. Especially since fake Yushi's heart skips a beat when he sees fake Riku’s smile.

“Thank you. And I'll be sure to not mess up when I talk to your friends,” Yushi promises. “Oh, by the way, who's your boyfriend this week? Or is it a girlfriend?”

“I don't have one,” Riku says while shrugging.

“Eh? What about Yamada senpai?”

“Nah, not my type. I want Yu-chan,” Riku juts his lips out, as if asking for a kiss.

Yushi thinks the elder is back to being insufferable, so he drops the topic.

“Anyway, let's meet for dinner and share notes. I want to make sure nothing bad happened.”

“Okay,” Riku says cheerily. “Bye bye~!”

The elder makes a heart before skipping away in happiness, ignoring the chaos he left behind.

“Riku!” Yushi yells in embarrassment, feeling his heart thump loudly at the sight.

Damn Riku and his teasing!

**

Yushi kind of expected them to go back to normal in a week or two, but instead, he's still stuck pretending to be Riku. It's not that he dislikes being Riku, because he does enjoy it. He finds the elder's life to be quite ordinary if he ignores the obnoxious fanclub and the amount of calls he gets per day. He likes how simple Riku’s life is compared to Yushi’s busy schedule.

It's just… He wishes he could wake up one day without an erection pressing against his stomach. It's not that he doesn't understand the wild hormones, he himself has woken up with erections in the past, but he can't seem to make it go away without a really cold shower. It's like Riku's erection is forcing him to pick the naughty route, which is touching it and possibly jacking off.

But he won't! Not after the promise he made with Riku, which is to keep their hands to themselves. Except when they shower, but that's just briefly washing soap off, so it doesn't count.

Though, he has to admit Riku's body is pleasing to stare at. He sometimes wonders how long it took for Riku to build these abs, or his biceps, and sometimes, he can't help but caress them. He admires how firm they are before shaking his head out of dreamland and quickly putting on his clothes.

Other than those two minor weaknesses, Yushi still misses his own body. Riku's body seems to crave sweets often, and Yushi is starting to miss his daily bubble tea. Even when he buys one for Riku's body, it seems the body can't finish a whole cup, so Yushi feels sad about it. Not to mention, Riku's body doesn't crave for ramen much often, so Yushi feels like he can't binge eat like he usually does.

And despite brainstorming on possible solutions, they still haven't found one that works. So it sucks .

“We still haven't tried kissing yet,” Riku keeps suggesting when they meet up during one weekend. “Every curse breaks with a true love kiss.”

“You just want to steal my first kiss…”

“Not true! We kissed each other when we were 10, remember? I recall a young Yushi refusing to let me have new friends…” Riku sighs nostalgically.

Yushi smacks his arm in annoyance. He didn't want to remember embarrassing memories.

“Anyway, how can you be sure that I'd be your true love? We've never dated…”

“And whose fault is that? You keep rejecting me!”

Fake Yushi pouts intensely, and Yushi wonders for a moment how Riku is able to imitate him well.

“It’s only because you date all of those people and the relationship ends too quickly. What if the same thing happens to us? What if we're not friends anymore?”

“You know that's impossible because I followed you to Kyoto just so we could be in the same city. The only way you can get rid of me is if you move away to Hawaii, and that's only because I'm too broke to buy an airplane ticket. It'd take me a month to go after you,” Riku says in frustration.

“... What about Germany? Would you still come?”

“As long as it's not the North Pole,” Riku says adamantly. “You know that I get cold easily…”

Yushi withholds the giggle inside his throat before slowly accepting the idea that he can at least try kissing Riku, or well, himself.

“Fine… just a quick kiss. It's still weird how it's basically me kissing myself.”

“Really?” Riku asks enthusiastically and Yushi can see fake Yushi's expression change from annoyance to happiness.

It's the first time he has noticed how expressive his face can be, and he notices how his heart thumps loudly whenever fake Yushi smiles at him. He wonders if Riku has always liked him this much.

“Just close your eyes. Imagine you're kissing the real Riku,” Riku tells him as he reaches out to close the younger's eyes.

“You better not try anything else… like touching me or something…” Yushi mutters before closing his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” Riku breathes out nervously before leaning in.

It should be weird for Riku himself, kissing his own lips, but he's simply preoccupied by the idea of being able to kiss Yushi again. Even if they're not in each other's body, it's still Yushi and Riku kissing each other.

The kiss itself doesn't last long. As promised, only a few seconds pass by as their lips touch. Yushi doesn't realize how much he likes it until he finds himself licking fake Yushi's lower lips before abruptly pulling away in shame. He's not supposed to include tongue in this!

Yushi stares at himself as fake Yushi's ears turn red and the elder’s breathing sounds heavy. Riku is grinning too much despite their failed experiment.

“It didn't work…” Yushi says breathlessly, sounding sad and depressed that it didn't work.

He knows that it was technically a long shot, and that it doesn't mean that they're not each other's true love, but it'd have been nice if it worked. It'd have been romantic for them.

“Yeah… Maybe we should kiss with tongues next time…” Riku says without shame as he licks his lips seductively.

Yushi can only sulk at him in reply, feeling too frustrated about their reality. Riku seems to understand his feelings as he sits closer to Yushi and leans against him.

“Want a hug?” Riku asks with a reassuring smile.

Yushi doesn't say anything as he sidehugs fake Yushi without a word. The sensation soothes the irritation inside his heart.

“We'll figure it out,” Riku promises as he pats fake Riku's back.

Yushi can only hope that they will.

**

“If kissing doesn't fix it, should we just have sex?” Riku asks aimlessly as they approach one month of body swapping.

Yushi throws a pillow at him in annoyance before going back to his homework. Even if Riku can attend his classes and meet his friends, Yushi still needs to do the work and submit his assignments on time. He envies how Riku only has group projects and they're not due anytime soon.

“Well, what else should we try then?”

“I don't know,” Yushi says in frustration. “Maybe we should go to a shrine and ask for help.”

“Ugh, that sounds boring.”

“Then you go google about it. I'm trying to make sense of my homework and your brain isn't as good as mine,” Yushi whines loudly, huffing as he erases some of the calculations.

“Yes, yes. I'll go be useful,” Riku says with a dramatic sigh before approaching fake Riku silently.

He hugs his body from behind, ignoring Yushi's loud complaints.

“Yu-chan can do it,” he mutters to fake Riku's ear before kissing his neck.

Yushi squirms in embarrassment before he moves away, shooing the elder away. 

“I'm sweaty!”

“You mean deliciously salty!” Riku comments loudly before leaving him alone as he exits the apartment.

Yushi can't help, but feel annoyed when Riku is being insufferable like that. At the same time, he knows that he doesn't completely hate it. As if he's starting to accept the fact that he has always liked that aspect of Riku. Annoyingly charming and handsome to a fault.

It makes him wonder if this feeling will stay with him when he returns back to his body. Will he still have this crush or will he think of Riku as only his friend? He’s too scared to know the answer, but he knows that he's looking forward to hugging Riku again in the elder's body. And it makes him long for that day.

**

Riku knows he's supposed to keep his hands to himself, and he did! For the first few weeks, it was fun pretending to be Yushi. Like fooling Daeyoung into sharing his darkest secret, or rejecting men on Yushi's behalf. After that, it got boring because he can't practice volleyball or hang out with his friends. Yushi's schedule is too packed with studying and he's honestly surprised Yushi's brain hasn't combusted from overworking yet. He's just tired of studying all day and night. So in the end, he broke the promise of keeping their hands to themselves. 

At first, he was just curious to see if fake Yushi could get hard with porn, so he tried different ones to see which ones would make fake Yushi react, but none of them seemed to work well. Then, he thought that maybe fake Yushi preferred ecchi, since it's less graphic, and he was right! Fake Yushi seemed to like those Free! doujinshi or even Yuri on Ice. It made him wonder if Yushi had been watching those anime in secret because fake Yushi's brain seemed to recognize the characters.

After that, it was easy to get fake Yushi hard, and Riku spent a few minutes admiring the younger's erection. He noticed how it wasn't as thick as his, but it looked longer, and it felt more sensitive than his. He experimented rubbing the head and playing with the balls before he finally found the perfect grip to jack himself off. He made a mental note to remember this grip so he could jack off the real Yushi one day.

After that, the post nut clarity didn't give him any feeling of guilt. He was already guilty of many things anyway. Instead, he promised himself that he wouldn't touch Yushi's dick again unless it got hard again.

And this time, he kept that promise until a fateful day.

They meet up as usual in Riku's apartment because Yushi has assignments to finish, and Yushi thinks he can't lie well if he were to meet his roommate. They meet up to discuss the next solution, but at one point, fake Yushi accidentally bumps into fake Riku's front, and Yushi catches him in the waist. The way fake Riku grips fake Yushi's waist feels too sensual for Riku, and he notices a reaction from fake Yushi’s dick.

It twitches in happiness and it starts to harden at an alarming rate that Riku freezes in Yushi's hands. 

Oh…

A sudden realization flashes in his mind as he finally figures out one of Yushi's turn on.

It looks like fake Yushi likes being manhandled by fake Riku. Riku starts to wonder if this is also true for all of the times Riku has lifted Yushi to move him away from something. But he has no time to think about the past since he needs to get rid of this erection first.

He ends up running away with a lame excuse, unable to look at fake Riku in the eyes due to embarrassment. He spends the next hour imagining manhandling Yushi against the wall before cumming into fake Yushi’s hand. There’s no guilt within him as he falls asleep happily.

**

The next morning, Riku wakes up to a familiar ceiling. He blinks repeatedly as he realizes that he's back into his own body, and that he’s sweating too much because Yushi made him wear a long sleeve shirt. He immediately peels off the long shirt and gets off the bed in a hurry, feeling excited to be back in his own body. He barely notices how he's not wearing pants until he trips over Kuri, feeling the coldness press against his legs and dick. He apologizes to Kuri, who rubs against his leg before running away, and he sits up as he notices that there is no erection this morning. He was about to wonder why, but then he notices how sticky his fingers feel and how his palm has a dried substance. 

Oh… – Riku smirks as he notices the naughty thing Yushi did the night before.

Yushi ends up going to his apartment right after breakfast. He looks annoyed as usual, possibly finding out that Riku has broken his promise too.

“You broke your promise!” Yushi accuses first.

“You did too!” Riku replies, not ashamed of his behaviour.

“What else did you do?” Yushi asks in a worried tone. “Did you touch my ass too?”

“No… But I should have…” Riku sighs in regret.

Yushi immediately smacks his arm in frustration.

“Hey! For all we know, this was the reason we changed back into our bodies. Shouldn’t you be happy?”

Yushi can’t reply to that because it’s true that he’s glad that they’re back to normal. He just wishes that it didn’t involve Riku touching his dick.

“Plus, now we know how this switch happened. It’s because we both masturbated,” Riku says in an obvious tone.

Yushi simply blushes at the thought, realizing how naughty they both were.

“But it does make me wonder how we switched in the first place. Did you also masturbate that night we first switched?”

“No!” Yushi immediately blushes as he lies.

“You did, didn’t you?” Riku grins widely, feeling giddy at the thought that Yushi was being bad that night.

“Shut up!” Yushi huffs and refuses to tell the truth.

It’s not like either of them will realize the real reason why they switch bodies. Riku will only find out the truth weeks later, when Yushi finally admits that he did touch himself. But it’s not just about masturbating, it’s also about who they were masturbating about.

Chapter Text

Technically, the human race is still the most common race on earth. The hybrid race is considered to be a minority, with about 5% population in the entire world. They manage to survive because a human and a hybrid has a 50% chance of creating another hybrid. And pure hybrid is the most rare version, only found about 2.5% of the hybrid population.

For Riku, he was born from a hybrid mom and a human dad. He only found out the truth of his sub-gender when he was 15, the age when hybrids acquired their shifting skill. The learning process was simple; it was like breathing for the first time, painless and easy. After that, Riku started to shift into a cat whenever he wanted to get away from reality, pretending that he was just an animal instead of a hybrid with responsibilities.

This habit didn’t change during his university years, and even now, when he started working as an office worker. Shifting into a cat was supposed to just be for fun.

Everything started to change when he met Tokuno Yushi, the cutest human in the IT department.

It’s not that the world lacks good looking men; there are plenty of them. But Tokuno becomes the first human to distract Riku from his life. Every time he passes by him in the hallway, he ends up almost tripping, or almost crashing into a pillar like some idiot who doesn’t look at his surroundings.

His crush is obvious enough that Shotaro senpai teases him during lunch time, barely giving him any advice. 

He knows that he’s whipped for Tokuno’s attention, but he’s too scared to ask the guy out for a drink after work. He worries that Tokuno might dislike him once he finds out that Riku is a hybrid. After all, not all humans are accepting of hybrids, despite hybrids being around since the prehistoric times. There is more acceptance for hybrids these days, but Riku still hides his sub-gender for his own peace of mind.

It’s why he just glances at Tokuno at random times during the day, and goes home with a wistful sigh, wishing for tomorrow to arrive so he can see Tokuno again.

But then, Riku accidentally meets Tokuno when he was pretending to be a cat.

It’s an honest mistake on his part. He’s just sunbathing in the street when Tokuno happens to see him.

The younger squats down with a gentle smile, extending his hand out so Riku can scent it. At first, Riku thought about running away, or possibly rejecting Tokuno’s affection because Tokuno might find out one day that this cat is actually Riku. But the elder ends up ignoring the warning signs, and lets his feelings affect his decisions. In the end, he lets Tokuno pet him, and he purrs when the younger scratches his chin in the right spot.

These two short moments made him crave for more touches, and eventually, Riku finds himself purposely bumping into Tokuno, asking for affection each day. And eventually, Yushi adopts him as his pet, naming him Kuri, and that’s how Riku starts to live his double life.

He starts the morning by waking up next to Yushi, licking his face and cuddling next to him happily. Then he follows Yushi around the apartment as the younger makes his breakfast, or changes into his work clothes. He stares at him without any feeling of guilt, abandoning his morals the moment Yushi decided to adopt him a year ago.

And when Yushi finally leaves the apartment, Riku shifts into his human form, borrowing Yushi’s clothes before running off to his own apartment. Luckily, ever since Yushi decided to adopt him, Riku moved closer to Yushi’s place, just to make his double life easier. He doesn’t take long to shower or to change, arriving at work right on time.

His job is a rather easy one, rarely getting overtime unlike Yushi. That’s why he comes back earlier than Yushi, half sleeping on the couch before greeting his owner again.

Their life is a simple one and Riku loves it.

Sometimes, he thinks about confessing the truth to Yushi, because there are days when he feels guilty about lying to the younger one. He thinks that Yushi is the sweetest guy on earth, always spoiling Kuri with rubs and hugs. The younger one deserves better than a fake cat who’s only around at nighttime and sometimes during the weekends. But then he sees Yushi staring at random actors on his phone, or staring at his male neighbour without being subtle, and he feels rather possessive towards Yushi. He can’t let those insignificant others win!

It’s why he still pretends to be Kuri, so he can claw his competitions out of Yushi’s life. And maybe one day, Riku can convince Yushi that there is a very handsome guy waiting for him. He just needs to be patient for now.

**

Yushi thinks his cat is the cutest cat in the world . Kuri always knows how to make him feel better with his kittenish licks and rubbing his body against Yushi’s leg. Especially lately when he has to do a lot of overtime because of a new project. Sometimes he’s too tired to eat, but Kuri always drags a noodle bowl towards him, or the plastic bag that contains some onigiris or a bento that’s ready to eat. It’s like his cat is so smart and attentive to Yushi’s needs, and Yushi feels loved.

That’s why he gets worried when Kuri goes missing during the weekend, or when the cat only appears at night time. He keeps wondering where Kuri goes to when he’s working, or when it’s the weekend, but he can only trust his cat to return. After all, Kuri has always been an outdoor cat, so he can’t limit Kuri’s freedom. He simply waits impatiently until Kuri meows at him and Yushi runs up to hug him, greeting him affectionately.

And when they’re both home, they’re just cuddling on the couch, where Yushi pets Kuri’s back and head, listening to the purrs as some anime plays in the background. And sometimes, he lets Kuri lay on his table as he plays a game, hugging Kuri to get rid of his stress when he can’t beat his old scores.

And lately, Kuri seems to dislike it when Yushi looks at pretty men on his phone, or when he interacts with his male neighbours. He doesn’t really understand why, but he did read one time that cats can be possessive creatures. So he makes sure to pet Kuri after greeting a neighbour, and he makes sure to not Google any actors while at home. For some reason, making Kuri happy makes him happy, and he doesn’t question why he’s catering to a cat’s needs.

Though one of his friends, who’s a dog hybrid, mentions that Yushi smells like a cat lately. At first, Yushi thought it was because of Kuri, who keeps rubbing his body into Yushi’s clothes, and kneading his bed with his paws. But his friend seems to think it’s a hybrid scent, which is weird because Yushi only knows one hybrid. He thinks that his friend might have a bad nose, because there’s no way that his Kuri is a hybrid. Hybrids aren’t the type of species who’d pretend to be a pet for fun. He decides to ignore his friend’s words from then on.

After all, Kuri is just the best cat ever!

**

The first time Yushi and Riku officially meet in the office is when Riku’s computer breaks down and Yushi gets called in to fix it.

If it’s any other IT person, Riku would have behaved like a normal person, but having Yushi so close to him, he panics and keeps stuttering the whole time. He thinks that he may have screwed up his chances by the time Yushi finishes fixing his computer.

He ends up moping in his desk, like a heartbroken teenager, while ignoring Shotaro senpai’s scolding. Despite that, he finishes his work on time, but he goes home with a frown, dreading to return to Yushi’s apartment.

What if Yushi makes fun of him in front of Kuri? Riku thinks he’d rather die in shame than endure that embarrassment.

Fortunately, to his surprise, Yushi goes home with a wide smile, as if something good has happened to him. Riku doesn’t know the meaning behind that smile, feeling anxious, as if wondering if Yushi has found a new guy to like. He doesn’t know how to ask as a cat, so he can only nudge Yushi’s leg, hoping that the younger one will say something.

It’s only later on after dinner that Yushi mentions why his mood has been so good tonight.

“I saw him today, Kuri,” he whispers to Kuri as if it’s a secret. “He looked so cute today in a red shirt. And he was so shy. I never thought he could be that shy since he’s so outgoing.”

Riku practically frowns in reaction, wondering who this guy is. Whoever it is, Riku is going to sabotage his chances!

“It was such a rare moment too. Usually, we never talk, but I was told to go help him today. I wish I could see him every day, but our paths don’t cross. Plus, he’s too cute. Like, I doubt he’s even single.”

Riku thinks he’s one step away from planning that guy’s death. He can’t let Yushi meet this guy again.

“Do you think he’d like me though? I hope he does…”

Riku licks Yushi’s face in reassurance. Of course any guy would be lucky to have Yushi. But for now, he just wants to know the guy’s name so he can ask a shaman to curse him!

“Look, I even took a photo of him when he wasn’t looking,” Yushi giggles softly. “Don’t tell him. It’s our little secret.”

Riku practically shoves his face into the phone, trying to focus his eyes on the screen. Who is it?!

Oh… 

He remains silent and doesn’t move, even when Yushi carries him into the bedroom so they can have their nightly cuddle. The new information feels unbelievable, as if all of his New Year wishes have come true, and all he has to do is to ask Yushi out. But for now, he tries to calm down as he lays beside Yushi, wondering what to do next.

That’s tomorrow’s problem. Tonight, they’ll just cuddle as usual.

**

The first time Riku asked him out, he didn’t plan it. He simply approached the younger to thank him, for fixing his computer, and for not getting angry when he admitted that he kept hitting his screen in frustration. Yushi looked so shy that day, nodding along and staring at him with wide eyes. It somehow gave Riku the courage to ask him out for dinner.

Of course, Riku didn’t use the word ‘date’, too scared to label anything between them, but he still called it a date in his mind. After all, they were alone, surrounded by couples, and they still had a nice time in the end.

And when they were about to part ways, Riku impulsively asked if Yushi was free on the weekend, because there was a new movie coming out and he didn’t want to go alone. The younger agreed too easily and Riku could only gleefully celebrate inside his mind.

After that, it got easier for them to hang out without a real excuse. Sometimes Riku came over, pretending that it was his first time in the apartment as they watched a movie together. And sometimes, Yushi went over to his place and they’d enjoy dinner together, or they’d compete in Riku’s brand new game station.

And Yushi kept saying he wanted to introduce Kuri to him, frowning every time Kuri would go missing whenever Riku came over. Riku tried to console him, saying that cats preferred freedom, but he knew that he needed to replace himself with a real cat, or tell Yushi the truth.

He even asked Shotaro senpai for advice, unable to choose the right decision, and the eldest scolded him for the longest time, telling him that he should tell Yushi the truth. After all, what if Riku accidentally turns into his cat form when he’s sleeping? Sometimes that happens with hybrids, and Riku shouldn’t let Yushi find out that way.

So he’s very nervous and worried when he finally decides to tell Yushi the truth. Avoiding Yushi’s eyes during dinner, and remaining silent when Yushi tries to make him laugh.

By that time, Yushi fears for the worst. The fact that Riku has decided that Yushi is the most boring person ever, and that they’re going to break up.

“Yushi… I have to tell you something…”

“You want to break up?” Yushi asks in a soft voice, looking sad as he stares at the table.

“No! It’s just… I’ve been lying to you. I knew it was wrong, but I like you, a lot . I just couldn’t stop myself, even when I felt guilty. I should have told you the truth from the beginning.”

Yushi can only stare at him in confusion, unable to understand Riku’s words.

“I’m a hybrid,” Riku immediately says without hesitation, feeling the weight of the truth to be light on his shoulders. “I’m not a human like you.”

“You are?” Yushi asks with a surprised expression, not expecting Riku to be a rare hybrid.

No wonder Riku is so popular. Hybrid features are too enticing to be ignored by regular humans.

“Yeah…” Riku confirms before continuing. “And for the past few months, I’ve been pretending to be your cat, Kuri…”

“Wh…what?” Yushi asks with a speechless expression. “Seriously?”

“Yes…” Riku admits softly, looking down at the ground in guilt. “When we first met, I thought about telling you the truth, but you were so nice to me that I kept wanting your affections. I thought it’d be okay for a while, but then you adopted me, and I should have stopped you by then. I just…. I didn’t know how to admit my feelings in my human form, and I took advantage of your kindness…”

Yushi doesn’t know how to reply to all of that, unable to understand how he should feel right now. But as he stares at Riku’s crying face, he wonders why he can only feel worriedness for the elder. As if there is no anger inside him, just concerns.

“I..I’m sorry,” Riku says with a cracked voice, wiping his wet eyes in a hurry. “You don’t have to forgive me. Just don’t hate me,” the elder says while sniffling.

Yushi immediately hugs the elder without saying anything, patting his back in comfort because he can’t stand to see Riku cry. He doesn’t want to forgive him yet, realizing that they need to rebuild the trust between them, but he knows that he’s willing to give Riku a second chance. After all, Riku as a cat, didn't do anything inappropriate other than watch Yushi get changed every day. The elder might not have the best morals, but Yushi himself isn’t a saint. He also thinks he might do the same thing if he was a hybrid. After all, Yushi wouldn’t have known the truth if Riku kept lying forever.

“I still need time to process all this,” Yushi eventually says to Riku. “But I don’t hate you… I could never hate you,” he says truthfully to the elder.

Riku nods as he sniffles, slowly letting go of Yushi because he should let him think about their relationship without pressure.

They agree to meet again when Yushi is ready. And for the first time in a while, they both feel lonely in their own apartment.

**

Luckily, neither sees each other during work since they’re different floors. Though, Riku starts to miss Yushi a lot, sometimes wondering if the younger is doing okay lately. He still mopes in his desk, ignoring Shotaro senpai as he counts the days since he last saw Yushi.

He thinks that his karma tastes bitter as a week approaches, and he almost gives in to the idea that Yushi will block him and move on with his life. He thinks about getting drunk tonight because it lets him see an imaginary Yushi standing in his apartment.

He's going home with cans of beer when he sees Yushi waiting nearby his apartment building, looking slightly tired from today's work.

“Yushi…” he greets the younger softly, thinking that he's dreaming again, but this meeting feels too real.

“Hi,” Yushi greets him back. “Can we talk in your place?”

“Oh… Sure…” Riku agrees before leading the way.

He wonders if Yushi will yell at him or maybe the younger one will immediately break up with him and call him names, but instead, Yushi asks for something else.

“Can I see your cat form?”

“Huh?”

“It's just… I've never seen a hybrid shift before, and I want to see how you do it,” Yushi says with a slightly shy tone.

“Oh…” Riku can only reply before setting down his grocery and bag. 

He doesn't quite understand why the random request but he supposes it's better than enduring a break up.

He transforms easily into his cat form, slowly crawling out of his clothes before approaching Yushi cautiously.

“Wow…” the younger one comments as he extends his hand out, caressing Riku' head gently.

Riku looks so much like Kuri, which makes sense since they're the same person, but Yushi didn't truly accept it until now.

“Do you become naked if you transform back into a human?” Yushi asks next.

Riku can only nod his head, unable to reply with real words.

“Wow…” Yushi sounds amazed momentarily. “I'll let you go back into human form. I'll wait in the kitchen,” he tells Riku before walking away.

Once Riku transforms back and puts on his clothes, he goes to the kitchen, wondering what Yushi will say next.

“I’m still getting used to this. You used to sleep right beside me every night, and we used to cuddle a lot. Now, I need to remind myself that I need a new cat one day…”

“... We can still do that as humans,” Riku suggests shamelessly.

“It’s still weird,” Yushi admits. “I'm not ready to have you over.”

“Oh…”

“But I miss you. I still want to give you another chance.”

“R.. really?” Riku asks with a disbelief tone.

“Yeah… So let's start over again. This time, no more secrets.”

“As boyfriends?” Riku asks hopefully.

“Maybe…” Yushi says while blushing, not wanting to admit that he might want that too. “If you can convince me.”

Riku nods confidently, feeling motivated for the first time in a while. He's going to fight for Yushi once again, and hopefully, wins his heart completely.

**

Extra scene

“Is it true that all hybrids can carry a child?” Yushi asks Riku randomly on a weekend.

“Mhm,” the elder simply hums as he nuzzles his face into Yushi's chest, feeling content to use Yushi as his bed.

“Then… Does this mean we can have kids?”

“Yep. Why? You wanna make one tonight?”

“No!” Yushi denies in embarrassment. “But maybe… One day…”

Riku grins at him before grabbing Yushi's hand and gesturing to him to pet his head.

“That'd be nice… And we should practice later tonight,” Riku says nonchalantly.

Yushi's finger twitches in reaction as his heart thumps. He's silently looking forward to that.

Chapter Text

For as long as Yushi has remembered, he has always been that guy that girls take advantage of, the middle man for their requests. Whether it’s love letters, pocky, or even Valentine’s chocolates, Yushi can’t recall the amount of times he had to give them to his childhood friend, Riku. 

In honesty, he doesn’t really mind it. He likes being helpful. He understands their anxious feeling, the dread of rejection and the idea of talking and asking questions without stuttering their words. He himself can’t imagine doing that confidently, already feeling his heart palpitate and throb in agitation as he imagines such a future.

Plus, Riku has always been the type of person that smiles at everyone, but only befriends a select amount of people. He guards the feelings within him, only letting his family and a few friends understand his true personality. So to him, these confessions feel too one-sided, and he’s unable to empathize, simply smiling tiredly when he receives it. It’s why Yushi tends to remind him to be nice as he gives their confessions to him, letting the elder hug him whenever he pouts in reaction. Plus, Yushi doesn’t mind spoiling him once in a while with skinship.

And when they enter the same university, Yushi’s role still hasn’t changed. Even when they’re studying different degrees and have only one class together, the girls seem to immediately know that Yushi is an important person in Riku’s life. They always sought him out for favors.

The old Yushi would have been okay with it, but like life, feelings can change too. He realizes by then that he can’t be that nice person anymore, unwilling to let other people have their chances with Riku. By that time, he takes a step forward, hoping to change their friendship into something more.

**

Riku remembers the first time he received a Pocky. It was a harmless gift between two young boys who became inseparable. Yushi gave it to him with the widest grin, and Riku remembered it because Yushi was missing his front tooth and he looked too funny. But most of all, he remembered feeling shy and embarrassed, because his sisters have always talked about giving a box of chocolate to their crushes, and it made Riku wonder if Yushi liked him a lot. It was the first time he realized how much he likes Yushi.

And like any first love, Riku didn’t throw away the empty box, keeping it hidden in his closet for many years. Because it contained the cutest messages Riku has ever received from Yushi.

リクちゃん (Riku-chan)

さいこう (is the best)

It was a simple message that made him happy, and it became a sentence that Riku yearned to hear from Yushi’s mouth. Sometimes as encouragement, and sometimes as a shy confession.

Over time, he got used to the idea that his feelings will forever be one-sided.

The countless love letters and chocolates that were given from Yushi’s hands; Riku can’t even remember the names on them, but he can always remember that none were from Yushi.

He’s used to it. He sighs silently, accepting the gifts before pulling Yushi into a hug. It’s the only consolation he gets from this miserable , unrequited love; that Yushi is still willing to hug him.

That’s why he dreads every Valentine’s Day and every White Day. It’s just a constant reminder that Yushi is willing to give him everyone else’s hearts, but not his own.

**

Yushi holds this box of chocolates with nervous hands. The contents are not big or pretty like he hoped it’d be. It looks messy, slightly sticky, and maybe tastes a bit too bitter because he uses too much cocoa. But in the end, he still finished making it with the help of his reliable senpai.

He thought about throwing it out, because Riku deserves better than oddly shaped chocolates. But his senpai pushes him to do it, blackmailing him with an embarrassing photo, claiming that he’ll send it to everyone if his kouhai gives up too easily. So Yushi relents with a nervous, but excited heart.

He’s supposed to meet Riku in his hiding spot, a room that the girls haven’t found yet because it’s half dark inside. Riku simply likes peace and quiet, wasting his day playing a game on his phone, or doing his homework at the last minute. It’s also the only place where Riku would back hug him, be clingy as usual, or behave childishly just because Yushi would enable him.

Sometimes, Yushi likes to think it’s their special place. One that only he and Riku would share, and no one else would find out.

It’s probably why he feels extra nervous about confessing in this room. There are so many good memories inside this room, and he doesn’t want to implant a bad memory in their special room.

So he enters the room cautiously, and Riku is already there. He’s laying flat on the blanket, gazing up at the ceiling as if he’s lost in his thoughts. Yushi stands there for the longest time, staring at Riku’s beauty and wondering why it took him so long to realize his feelings. He thinks that he should have known sooner, and how he has too many regrets, but he can only push himself to move forward and change their future.

“Riku,” he calls him out softly.

Riku moves his head at the sound, eyes softly gazing at Yushi before smiling.

“Yu-chan,” he says cutely before sitting up. His bangs sway messily, almost covering his eyes. “You took so long. I thought you weren’t going to come, and I’d be alone all day,” he says with a rather whiny tone.

Yushi knows that the elder always misses him, but he always feels happy when Riku says it, smiling stupidly at his words.

“Sorry,” he says in the end. “I had to finish something…”

“Finish what?” Riku asks before his gaze lowers and he notices the box in Yushi’s hands. “Oh…” he says with a small frown. “Another gift…”

The elder stands up from the blanket, brushing off the dirt from his pants before approaching the younger.

“H..happy Valentine’s Day,” Yushi tells him shyly, almost stuttering his words as his cheeks burn in embarrassment. He extends the box out so Riku can take it from him.

“Who is it from? I don’t see a name…” the elder comments as he checks the sides.

“I..it’s not from a girl… It’s from me…” Yushi says while feeling flustered

Riku freezes at his words.

“I..It’s a honmei chocolate,” the younger one confesses with red ears, making sure that Riku knows that it’s not obligatory chocolates. “I know guys usually give them during White Day, but I wanted to be different…”

“... It’s from you?” Riku asks quietly, raising his gaze. “Really?”

“Y…yeah,” Yushi admits while blushing. “It probably doesn’t taste as good as the ones from girls…”

He can barely finish his sentence before Riku pulls him into a hug, one that’s too tight and makes Yushi feel more shy than before.

“Thanks,” Riku mutters to his ear. “I love you.”

Yushi whimpers softly at the sweet words, not expecting to hear it as he pushes the elder off in embarrassment. He’s rubbing his sleeve with a red face, glaring at Riku for saying it so easily.

Riku simply grins at him before sitting back down, taking a picture of it before opening it gently.

“W..why are you eating it now? Eat it later,” Yushi whines, not expecting Riku to want to try it now.

He thinks he’ll die if Riku tries it and does not like it.

“Too late,” the elder says before popping a sticky chocolate piece into his mouth. “Hmm,” Riku hums as he tastes it, an expression of surprise on his face.

“Is it bad?”

Riku taps his lips, suggesting Yushi should kiss him to find out the answer.

The younger one smacks him for being mean as Riku laughs in happiness. He thinks this may be his best Valentine’s Day ever.

**

“Here,” Riku says as he slips a bag of jelly into Yushi’s pocket. “I’ll get you real chocolate on White Day. Just wait for it,” he promises with a grin.

“Thanks,” Yushi mutters with slightly red cheeks.

“And let’s meet this weekend, okay?” Riku asks, holding Yushi’s hand as hostage as he asks the question.

Yushi nods, smiling a little at the suggestion. The elder thinks he looks too cute today.

Riku steps closer to him and hugs him, unwilling to let go of him for a few minutes.

“See you then,” he mutters to Yushi’s ears before letting go.

They wave goodbye at each other as they look forward to this weekend.

Chapter Text

“Riku’s coming back next week,” Sakuya says excitedly.

“Hyung must be really excited,” Daeyoung comments with a smile.

“ Finally , I have a roommate for our next trip,” Sion grins as he stretches his arms.

They’ve been practising the new choreography since the past few days, and it’s basically ready to be showcased. They just need to finalize the small details as usual.

“That’s not fair. I want to be his first roommate when he returns,” Sakuya says as he frowns at Sion’s hyung words.

“Rock, paper, scissors then?” Sion taunts him with a duel.

“Best out of five!” Sakuya says before sitting in front of him.

Daeyoung watches closely as he willingly becomes their referee.

Ryo doesn’t say anything as he stares at Yushi in curiosity, wondering why the elder is not saying anything.

“I thought you’d be the happiest out of all of us,” he comments quietly as he sits closer to the elder.

“I am happy,” Yushi states while glaring at Ryo, feeling slightly exposed by the younger’s words. “... It still feels weird I guess… To be able to see him again…”

“That’s normal,” Ryo reassures him. “I’m sure it’ll take a while for everyone to get used to having him back again,” he reasons before standing up.

Yushi doesn’t truly understand why he said that. He simply nods as he stares down at his last conversation with Riku, wondering what the elder is doing right now.

**

Their first schedule as a full group is simply a flight to Thailand and a few shootings while they’re there. Yushi doesn’t really know how to process his emotions yet at this time. Simply glancing back at Riku multiple times as they walk towards the security area. He feels slightly worried, wondering if Riku is feeling overwhelmed by the crowd after weeks of peacefulness. Luckily, the elder seems okay as he blocks the loud noises with his headphones.

And when they finally arrive at the hotel, Yushi simply watches as Riku gets paired with an excited Sakuya, loudly discussing what they should eat during this trip. He isn’t able to talk to him yet, so he decides to follow Sion hyung to their room and try again next time.

“What’s wrong?” Sion asks with an amused gaze. “Did you want to room with Riku too?”

“No,” Yushi barely lies as he looks down at his bag, wondering if he can shrug off this uneasy feeling before their schedule starts.

“Well, we have nothing tonight… So if you want to see him in his room…” Sion hints with a smile. “I’m just gonna stay here and rest.”

“And call Wonbin hyung?” Yushi asks innocently, not purposely teasing him.

“Yep,” Sion replies easily, not caring if the secret is out. “So you can either hear us flirt, or go flirt with your own crush,” he says the last word with a smirk.

Yushi smacks him while glaring before deciding he should let his hyung have his alone time. Sion simply grins as he waves goodbye, calling Wonbin at the same time.

That’s how he ends up standing in front of Riku and Sakuya’s room, wondering if he should bother them or go find Daeyoung.

He thinks he must have been standing there for the longest time before he finally knocks on the door, feeling more anxious than before.

“Oh, hey, you’re here for Riku?” Sakuya greets him, gesturing to him to come in.

Yushi doesn’t see Riku behind him so he wonders where the elder went.

“Where’s Riku?”

“Showering,” Sakuya tells him. “He should be out soon though. We’re gonna go out and get some snacks after this. Wanna join us?”

“Oh…” 

He feels tempted by the idea of joining them, that maybe after hanging out with them, he won’t feel as anxious as now. But he also thinks that it’s a little selfish, that he’s not the only one missing Riku. After all, Sakuya won his right to room with Riku, so they should get some bonding time too.

“I’m gonna go,” Yushi says instead, confusing Sakuya with his sudden decision. “I promised to hang out with Daeyoung anyway…” he mutters before leaving.

Sakuya can only scratch his head, wondering what happened.

**

Yushi supposes he should be used to this. After all, shipping themselves with other members is an obligation, especially during the first few years of their contract. Though Yushi always thinks it’s a bit tacky sometimes. It’s why he gets frustrated when SM pushes him to be more friendly with Sion hyung.

He also understands that for Riku, the elder knows how to play the game well. Yushi can always tell when Riku is in fanservice mode, like when he tries to kiss Ryo as they face away from the camera, or when he sits in Daeyoung’s lap openly. It’s easy for the elder to act along, simply playing along for the fans who secretly record them.

Despite knowing there’s no meaning behind it, the actions still bother him. It still causes a sharp sting inside his heart, and he changes the direction of his gaze to somewhere else. Unlike Riku, he still hasn’t learned how to compartmentalize his feelings, unable to shrug off the littlest things when it comes to Riku.

All he seems to know is how to express his emotions through his actions. It’s why he barely reacts when Riku wraps his arm around his shoulders. Simply staying still as he stares at his phone, barely focusing on whatever he’s watching. The jealousy and sadness within him doesn’t dissipate that easily and he doesn’t play along with Riku’s game today.

All he can think about is how Riku will never notice how much Yushi missed him. It certainly feels one-sided lately.

**

The next time they’re together as 6 is during Wish’s first anniversary. There is still a certain tension between him and Riku as Yushi decides to ignore his own feelings.

Despite everything that has happened in Thailand, it’s not easy for Yushi to fall out of love with Riku. His feelings started long before he became an NCT member, when it was just two trainees passing each other in that hallway, barely glancing before shyly looking away. And his feelings grew, slowly and intensely, as every moment piled up between them. Whether it’s them holding hands, or whispering to each other during the dark, Yushi isn’t able to easily forget these small, sweet memories.

It’s why he’s still staring at Riku, openly at random times, gazing at the handsome face and wondering if Riku will ever realize his feelings one day. It feels lonely to be stuck in this alone, even when Daeyoung gives him encouragement or the maknaes tell him to be more brave, Yushi still feels quite scared to admit it out loud.

And he’s right to not say it yet. Especially considering what happens during the awards.

“Sion hyung,” Riku says with a small chuckle as he chooses them as his favorite couple.

Yushi can only remain speechless as he sits in his chair, a smileless expression on his face as he endures the throb inside his heart. 

He honestly doesn’t remember how the night ends, simply reminding himself to smile a little as his work isn’t finished yet.

It’s only when they’re back at the dorms that they talk about it again. This time Sion hyung is teasing Riku over that reply, and everyone else laughs along, except Yushi who remains quiet as he stares down at the ground.

“I don’t think Yushi likes your answer though,” Ryo is the first one to comment about it, smiling nervously at Yushi.

“Aww, what’s wrong Yushi? Don’t worry, we can still do OnRiYu,” Sion hyung reassures him, extending out his hand as he ruffles the younger’s hair.

“Don’t be jealous Yu-chan,” Riku says with a teasing tone.

“I’m not jealous ,” Yushi replies harshly, clenching his fists.

Sion freezes after hearing his words, finally noticing the tension between the two as Yushi stands up abruptly. The other members look up at him in shock, surprised to see Yushi lose his temper.

“ Believe me , you’ll know when I’m jealous,” he spits out without meaning to, unable to contain the emotions within him.

Yushi leaves without saying another word, walking away to the other dorm as he wipes his eyes quickly. There’s a feeling of relief, realizing that he’s able to admit that he was never okay, but also the dread of facing tomorrow. For now, all he wants to do is hide in his room and pretend that he’s not stuck in this one-sided love.

Chapter Text

Yushi doesn’t really want to go on this blind date, not really ready to move on from his first love. After all, Maeda Riku was simply too handsome, too ethereal and too sweet to be forgotten so easily. It’s why he still stalks Riku on social media, staring at his pretty selfies in Instagram and wondering if the elder is dating someone as he goes through the stories. The elder doesn't really show off his private life so Yushi can only imagine what kinds of people Riku would date.

He wishes that he could be one of those lucky people, having the chance to date Riku. However, he’s just ordinary Yushi.

And he was fine with stalking Riku every night, wasting hours thinking about Riku, but then Shotaro senpai found out about it, and scolded him. He told Yushi to move on already, and Yushi reluctantly agreed with him, realizing that he’s behaving too childishly lately. He knew he couldn’t keep lusting over his first love, especially after remembering how Riku rejected his confession during High School. He had to accept the reality that he’ll never have Riku for himself. 

That’s why he’s on this blind date, meeting a random guy that he met from a dating app. He simply knows the guy’s name is Sohee, and that they had fun talking the past few days.

He feels nervous, but also excited to meet a possible boyfriend.

Lee Sohee looks too cute in his oversized sweater and jeans, grinning as he walks in and greets Yushi. Yushi thinks he’d have fallen for Sohee if he wasn’t obsessed with Riku. But still, they have a nice night, laughing over random topics and enjoying each other’s presence. And in the end, Yushi and Sohee exchange phone numbers and Instagram names, promising to keep in touch.

It’s only later on when he’s at home that he realizes that Sohee is friends with Riku. Not just good friends, but almost best friends. Riku seems to appear in Sohee's pictures, hanging out often during the weekends, and Sohee seems to appear in Riku’s posts, commenting on most of them. Yushi’s heart thumps at the idea of meeting Sohee one day and being able to see Riku too!

But he knows that he shouldn’t do that to Sohee. That he shouldn’t use him to get closer to Riku.

Though, as he stares at Riku’s recent selfie, he wonders if he’ll ever be able to touch Riku’s pretty skin one day, and kiss those pink lips. He sighs, forlornly and longingly, wishing that his blind date was Riku. He can only dream for now.

**

Despite the desire of wanting Riku, Yushi still goes out with Sohee again, simply because they have fun together. It’s been 3 dinner dates and Yushi finds Sohee to be an easygoing guy, always funny and sweet towards him. He thinks he might be able to move on from Riku if he keeps meeting Sohee.

Yet, fate works in a funny way.

A week after their date, Yushi accidentally meets Sohee and Riku in the university’s library, bumping into them right after they all finish studying. Sohee introduces Riku to Yushi, not realizing that they know each other, simply smiling at the coincidence.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” Yushi tells Riku, pretending they’re strangers, offering his hand for a handshake. It feels less embarrassing than explaining to Sohee that Riku has rejected him in the past.

“... Hi…” Riku simply says before shaking his hand, feeling surprised to see his kouhai.

He recalls rejecting this person in the past, the only guy that was brave enough to confess to him during High School. He thought it was cool of him, not caring what others might say, but he didn’t like him in that way, simply rejecting him with a sad smile. He even thought he’d have been okay with dating a guy, somehow finding himself crushing over pretty men, but he thought Yushi was too timid to be his type.

Still, he knows better than to bring up a bad memory so he plays along with Yushi’s lead and pretends to be strangers.

“Where are you going after this?” Sohee asks Yushi.

“I’m going to an Izakaya restaurant to get some dinner,” Yushi tells him, avoiding Riku’s eyes.

“Yeah? I’ll join you then,” Sohee grins at him before facing Riku. “See you tomorrow. I got a cute boy waiting for me,” he says to Riku with a smirk.

Yushi giggles at his response, feeling flustered by Sohee’s words, grinning at him.

Riku raises an eyebrow at them, surprised at hearing Sohee’s words before smiling.

“Cool, see you Friday,” Riku simply says, bumping fists with Sohee before watching them walk away.

Sohee says something to Yushi as they walk farther ahead, and Yushi smiles at him, replying with red ears.

Riku stands there with a blank expression, watching them walk in silence as he tries to process his new feelings. He knows that he’s not annoyed at Sohee, thinking how he has ditched Sohee in the past for a girl, but he feels rather conflicted after watching Yushi flirt with Sohee. He wonders if he’s just sensitive because Yushi used to like him, and now he doesn’t anymore.

Either way, he thinks he’s just tired, rationalizing that he’ll feel better after eating some dinner. He walks away from his standing spot, forcing himself to think about something else as he heads to his destination.

Unbeknownst to him, Yushi looks backward temporarily, wishing that Riku would join them for dinner one day. He squashes down his selfish desires as he smiles at sweet Sohee, forcing himself to be okay with just this.

**

After that meeting, Yushi thought he’d never meet Riku again, thinking it was a one off chance.

Yet, fate keeps intervening as he ends up meeting Riku a few more times after that. Sometimes, it’s because Sohee was with Riku before they met up, and sometimes, they would bump into each other by coincidence.

At first, their conversations felt stilted and awkward, not knowing what to say, but over time, it became normal as they shared opinions about the weather or their upcoming exams, small talks that didn't have any meanings. But Sohee still laughs at their uneasy interactions, finding it funny whenever they get awkward with each other, teasing them for being unable to relax. He likes to comment that they could be good friends, admitting that Yushi is sometimes too similar to Riku.

Riku feels surprised when he hears that, wondering what Sohee meant.

“He likes a lot of anime. Like the one that you always talk about, that boring one…”

“Hunter x Hunter,” Yushi helpfully reminds Sohee.

“Right! That one!”

“... It’s not boring. You just have bad taste…” Riku says to Sohee, judging his best friend for sucking . Sohee scoffs at him.

“I have better taste than you . I even have a hot date tonight, and you? Single since your first year,” Sohee teases him cruelly and Riku frowns at him.

Riku doesn’t particularly care about Sohee’s taunt. He chose to be single because he finds commitment to be exhausting if he doesn’t really like that person.

It’s just, the thought of Sohee calling Yushi his hot date bothers him. It’s not that he disagrees about calling Yushi hot, because he’d call Yushi that too, but he finds Sohee’s bragging to be annoying . As if he doesn’t want to hear about their dates anymore, finding himself irritated that Sohee and Yushi might be boyfriends soon.

And he wonders ‘why’. Why is he bothered by this when he wasn’t before?

And maybe, he only realizes the answer when he looks at Yushi, staring at his pretty smile. He wishes that Yushi would smile at him also.

**

Days pass by and Riku is still coming to terms with his newfound feelings. It’s the idea that he has a crush on a guy, a guy that used to like him, but doesn’t anymore. A guy that makes him feel nervous, happy, and smitten at the same time.

He doesn’t understand this crush even as he tries to rationalize it. Yushi was never his type. He was too timid, too aloof and sometimes, too confusing for him. Riku wanted someone different , and yet, Yushi’s face still pops into his mind whenever he spaces out during the day.

Like an addictive song that’s stuck inside his head. Like his favorite jelly flavor, never getting bored even as he eats it for the tenth time.

In the end, he admits it. He admits that Yushi isn’t his type, but he wants him.

After that, it’s easy for him to notice the little things, like how the younger gets excited over his favorite foods, eating each bite in a hurry, as if scared that someone will take his food away. And how he has a crazy obsession with bubble teas, constantly buying one even when he’s bored of it. And how he’s funny , the kind of humor that makes Riku laugh uncontrollably and unabashedly. His humor matches too well with Riku’s sense of humor, the kind that’s a little childish and has indirect references to Riku’s favorite comedians.

Most of all, he starts to feel the uglier parts of his feelings. Like the irrational jealousy whenever Yushi interacts with Sohee. Whether it’s simply nudging Sohee to stop teasing him, or giggling with each other over a stupid joke, Riku frowns at them, wishing that it was him and Yushi laughing together. 

Despite knowing that it’s wrong to steal his friend’s date, and that he shouldn’t sabotage Sohee’s happiness, he still feels possessive towards Yushi. After all, Yushi liked him first. So why can’t Riku have him instead?! It’s unfair!

And yet, he knows that it’s selfish for him to say that. After all, he was the one who rejected Yushi first, not caring how the younger one would feel. Yushi is allowed to move on with his life and find happiness. But still, Riku wishes that he could go back in time and say ‘yes’ to him. Maybe, they’d still be dating by now, and Riku wouldn’t have to share Yushi with stupid Sohee.

Despite all these feelings, he knows better than to act carelessly in front of them. Because at the end of the day, he can’t force Yushi to like him again, and he can’t steal Yushi just because of his sudden crush.

So he distracts himself with shopping, finding it peaceful to find unique clothes in thrift shops and trying them out. He doesn’t buy a lot, simply choosing one or two pieces before moving on. And the distraction works well until he accidentally meets Yushi.

The younger is simply trying different sunglasses, posing like a silly person before trying a different one.

And Riku stares at him for the longest time, thinking how cute Yushi looks, and how much he wants to hug the younger one for being adorable.

Instead, he squashes down the feelings and approaches him to say ‘hi’.

“H..hi,” Yushi says timidly before noticing his bags. “You were shopping?”

“Yeah,” Riku chuckles a little. “I like to come to this area and find something cool. Are you looking for new sunglasses?”

“N..no,” Yushi blushes. “I was just trying them out for fun,” he says before grabbing a new one and posing for Riku. “What do you think?”

“It’s too big on you,” Riku laughs before gently taking it off from Yushi. “It fits better on me.”

Riku poses this time, pouting while doing a peace sign.

“It looks good on you,” Yushi agrees while nodding.

“I’ll help you find a good one,” Riku tells him, putting down his shopping bags as he starts to find a funny one for Yushi.

As they spend their time together, Riku starts to wonder why Sohee isn’t here with Yushi. Especially since Sohee mentioned about having a date today. He thinks about asking the question as Yushi orders bubble tea for himself, but he wonders if that will seem too nosy, as if he’s a teenage girl wanting gossip.

In the end, he can’t help himself. He needs to know if they’re getting serious, and if Yushi will become Sohee’s boyfriend soon.

But the answer surprises him, making Riku feel glad.

“No,” Yushi says shyly. “He’s a great guy, but I didn't like him.”

“Oh…” Riku feels hope blooms inside his heart.

“I told him that I like someone else,” Yushi admits in a soft voice, unable to say it out loud. He even avoids Riku’s gaze as he says it.

“Wh..what?” Riku stammers before feeling his emotions change rapidly.

The nice feeling of warmth and happiness evaporates too quickly, and it becomes jealousy . It’s intense , heavy and makes Riku want to cry because Yushi should like him , not some random guy.

He hates it. He wants Yushi to like him again. He wants a second chance.

But all he can do is follow Yushi around silently, smiling when Yushi hums a song or chuckling when Yushi reacts to something funny.

“Thank you,” Yushi says to him, later in the night. “I’m sure you had better things to do than to accompany me.”

“I don’t,” Riku insists, licking his lips in happiness. “I had fun…”

Yushi looks down at his feet, feeling a little shy. He wonders when he can see Riku again.

“Tomorrow… If you’re free, there’s a new ramen restaurant…”

“In Ueno?” Yushi looks up excitedly.

“Yeah,” Riku chuckles at his expression. “Wanna come with me?”

Yushi nods while grinning, agreeing too quickly.

As they exchange phone numbers for the first time, Riku stares at Yushi’s pretty face for the longest time, deciding that he’s not going to lose to Yushi’s crush no matter what. Whoever that guy is, he will lose . That’s something Riku can guarantee.

**

After that day, their friendship blossoms quickly as they keep making plans together, whether it’s dinner or just being lazy on the couch, catching up on anime. And Riku keeps falling for Yushi’s charms, feeling himself surrender to the younger’s whims, smiling like a smitten man. 

Yet, he still doesn’t know who Yushi’s crush is, never noticing Yushi acting shy to someone they meet. Even when he checks out Yushi’s photos on his phone, there are simply too many pictures of food, and some of his friends, but there is no stranger. It bothers him because he wants to know who his competition is, always wondering if he can beat him with his visuals. He can’t even ask Yushi because they’re technically not dating.

And his worries increase when Yushi tells him that he has a group date coming up, a favor for one of his senpais.

“I don’t really like going on those dates, but they need a third person…” Yushi tells him with a small sigh.

“Then don’t go,” Riku says while frowning.

“I can’t,” Yushi says with a pout. “He’ll get upset if I skip it.”

Riku frowns even more, not understanding why Yushi can’t say no.

“Is your crush going to be there?” he asks suddenly, wondering if that’s the reason.

“Huh?” Yushi looks at him in confusion before shaking his head in reply. “Why would he go there…”

“Then is it your senpai? Do you like him?”

“Wh..what? No,” Yushi says, feeling confused by Riku’s questions.

“Then who is it?” Riku frowns at him. “How come I haven’t seen this guy? Does he not go to our school?”

“He does… It’s just… He’s busy…” Yushi can only lamely say, unable to tell Riku the truth.

“I just don’t know why you like him,” Riku huffs in the end. “Why him when there are plenty of guys who’d date you…”

“Like who?” Yushi asks with a small laugh, not believing that at all.

“Like me!” Riku blurts out emotionally, not realizing his mistake until Yushi gapes at him with a shocked expression. Riku blushes in reaction, feeling shy about his sudden confession before deciding that he should ask Yushi out anyway. “I just… Can’t you go out with me instead?”

“R..really?” Yushi whispers his question, feeling shy under Riku’s gaze.

“Really,” Riku confirms softly. “I like you. I really do. And I hate the fact that I rejected you. You don't know how much I like you.”

Yushi smiles to the ground as he hears the words of a confession and feels victorious that he could capture Riku's heart.

“Okay,” he says breathlessly as he gazes at Riku with shy eyes. “Let’s go on a date.”

That's all it takes for Riku to pull him into a hug, feeling too happy for the first time in a while, treasuring this sweet moment 

“I’ll make you forget about him,” he mutters to Yushi’s ear, promising childishly.

Yushi can only hug him back with the same amount of happiness, thinking that it’s impossible for Riku to beat himself.

**

Riku doesn’t find out the truth until weeks later, and it was by accident.

Usually, Yushi will avoid the crush topic and distract Riku with a kiss, or they’ll end up making out on the couch, lost in pleasure as they rub each other's dicks.

But one day, Yushi decides to introduce Riku to Shotaro senpai, wanting the two to become friends. He thinks it’s necessary ever since Riku keeps asking why Shotaro senpai is #3 on Yushi’s dial speed. He gets jealous that he’s simply #4, despite knowing that Yushi loves number 4 the most.

Yushi can only giggle at his boyfriend’s childish jealousy and reminds him that he still won his heart, but silly Riku wants everything from Yushi.

It’s why Yushi makes him meet Shotaro senpai, hoping that Riku won’t get jealous anymore. They decide to meet for dinner, choosing a restaurant nearby.

As Shotaro senpai shakes Riku’s hand, he makes a comment that causes Yushi to get embarrassed.

“Riku, right? I thought Yushi was kidding when he told me, but he really did end up with his first love.”

Riku looks confused at Shotaro senpai’s words, wondering what the eldest meant, but then he notices Yushi becoming embarrassed, gesturing to Shotaro senpai to be quiet.

It takes him a few minutes before he realizes the truth, grinning the whole night as the giddiness never left his heart. This new information feels powerful .

And later that night, Riku keeps teasing Yushi about his long lasting love, asking why the younger never told him the truth. He means to tease him in a good manner, but Yushi ends up becoming frustrated, smacking Riku’s arm before running off angrily.

“Yu-chan! Don’t be mad…” Riku says with a small whine, running after him, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer towards him. “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad…” he whispers to Yushi’s ear, back hugging him in public.

Yushi remains quiet for the longest time, letting Riku kiss his neck and ear, apologizing with an intense hug.

“... I didn’t want you to reject me again,” Yushi admits quietly. “That’s why I didn’t tell you…”

Riku’s heart drops at the confession, realizing how badly he messed up tonight.

“I wouldn’t,” Riku immediately reassures him. “I’m sorry,” he kisses Yushi’s shoulder. “I like you. I’ll forever like you. So thank you for waiting,” he whispers quietly to Yushi, enjoying the way Yushi’s ears turn red.

“M..me too,” Yushi says to him, turning towards with a small smile before pushing Riku off when he tries to kiss him.

They still can’t do that publicly, but he lets Riku hold his hand the entire night.

And when Yushi is fast asleep on Riku’s bed, curling like a cat, Riku takes a picture of him, smiling at the result.

He can’t make up for the wasted years, but he can slowly show to Yushi that he wants him, forever .

My pretty cat

He adds the caption before posting it into his Instagram, letting the world see how smitten he is.

It’s probably the first time he has posted about his love life, and he doesn’t mind showing it off.

A notification dings soon after.

Sohee: me = greatest matchmaker ever!

Riku smiles at his best friend’s comment and likes it. He definitely owes Sohee a free dinner one day.

Chapter Text

It was supposed to be a romantic day. Yushi was going to make homemade chocolate with Daeyoung’s help, and he was going to decorate it prettily so Riku would give him compliments and Yushi could react like a smitten boyfriend. And then, he was going to bring them to their favorite yakiniku restaurant because Riku loved that date, and Yushi wanted a repeat of that night’s kiss, all heated and it made him shiver in want.

But being an idol means abandoning those perfect plans and coming up with a rather last minute date. One that seems very bare minimum and a bit tacky in Yushi’s taste, but it's not like he can magically create a romantic date after coming home at 10 pm.

It's frustrating because it's White Day. The only day of the year where men are encouraged to give their loved ones something special. And it should be something that costs three times the normal gift price like how society pressures them.

That's why Yushi was ready to overspend and waste his money.

But now… the day sucks . He had to suffer through a schedule, a dance practice and filmed a content where he had to watch Riku give chocolates to someone else. It’s depressing enough that he thinks about crawling into bed with dirty clothes and sleeping away the pain, despite knowing that Riku will be disappointed in him. 

But once they’re home, Yushi notices a package that has been waiting for him by the front door, inconspicuous enough that he almost forgot what’s inside of it.

It was something that he bought impulsively because he remembers discussing the topic of kinks with Riku and the elder thought Yushi’s thighs were pretty. So Yushi had the idea of ordering this tiny, silky white skirt that would showcase the bottom of his butt and highlight his naked, milky thighs. He thought that Riku might waste the night palming his ass, squeezing it playfully, and Yushi will moan into his ear and beg the elder to fuck him.

Remembering that idea gives him the motivation to save this horrible White Day.

But first, he needs to shower and get ready quickly. This way he can take his time figuring out the perfect seduction pose.

“I’m showering first!” Yushi suddenly declares while holding the package in his hands, ready to run off to their shared bathroom.

Daeyoung and Riku stare at him in confusion, wondering why Yushi had to announce that.

Riku grabs his arm before he can leave, silently asking him if they should shower together, like they usually do.

“Not tonight,” Yushi says in a rush, before noticing Riku’s sad expression. “I have a surprise planned!”

“A surprise?” Riku looks stunned by the declaration. He thought Yushi didn’t have anything planned tonight and he was prepared to cheer up his gloomy boyfriend with a lot of kisses.

“You’ll like it,” he pats Riku’s arm excitedly before running off to their bathroom that’s located inside their shared room.

Riku stares at his boyfriend’s back in confusion, curious to know what’s so special about this surprise. But all he can do is pout as he heads to their bedroom, feeling a little lonely that Yushi isn’t around to tug his arm for attention, or to give him clingy hugs.

He lays gloomily on the cold floor as he waits for the younger to be done with his shower.

As soon as Yushi exits their shared bathroom, Riku immediately stands up and hugs Yushi tightly, feeling slightly touch-starved after Yushi decides to abandon him. They’re supposed to shower together, like a habitual routine, giving Riku the perfect excuse to touch all of Yushi’s skin without seeming too perverted. But now, Yushi won’t let him do that and he feels sad about it, wondering if Yushi is mad at him.

And technically, he knows that it’s his own fault in the first place. He was the one who ignored Yushi during today's schedule, and he feels like this is the perfect revenge to make him suffer.

After all, like Yushi, Riku also wanted to celebrate White Day with him.

“Riku,” Yushi whines against Riku’s ear, wondering why the elder is clinging to him. “Go shower so we can start our date,” he complains despite hugging Riku back.

“Not until you forgive me,” Riku says petulantly. “You’re mad right? Because I gave chocolates to someone else?”

“I’m not!” Yushi says adamantly. He's not lying. He was more upset than mad at that time.

“I’m sorry about today. You know that it meant nothing, right?” Riku asks with a small pout while squeezing Yushi’s hands. “I actually bought chocolates for you, but Ryo-chan kept saying it should have been homemade…”

“You did?” Yushi asks in a tiny voice, not believing him.

“Yeah… Wait let me get them,” Riku says before grabbing his bag and digging out the chocolates from the bottom of the bag. “See… I got you chocolate with strawberry filling, and dark chocolate with mint filling…” he shows them before placing them gently on Yushi's hands.

The younger one smiles as he holds the chocolate, feeling happy that Riku wanted to be romantic too.

“Thank you…” Yushi can only say before stepping closer towards Riku and deciding to kiss his lips softly.

“Am I forgiven then?” the elder asks while leaning their foreheads together.

“A little,” Yushi replies teasingly. “I was sad… But I knew why you did that.”

Riku kisses his lips in reassurance, still feeling guilty about today as he tries to hug him again, but Yushi pushes him away with a small whine.

“Go shower,” he reminds him. “I want to start our date.”

“You said you like it when I’m sweaty,” Riku argues, feeling a little sad because Yushi used to not care if Riku was drenched in sweat. “Do you hate it now?

“I don’t hate it. It's just…” Yushi starts to say before hesitating.

It's not that he doesn't want to tell the truth, but asking for sex feels embarrassing . As if uttering the words ‘i want to do it’ makes him cringe internally.

They usually communicate through touches anyway, like Riku kissing Yushi breathlessly or Yushi groping Riku’s chest or thigh, implying that they want something more. So Yushi struggles for a while to find the right words.

“What?” Riku asks with a worried expression.

He cups Yushi's cheek, gently assuring him that it's okay.

Yushi takes a deep breath before deciding that he can only do the first thing that pops inside his mind.

He reaches out and squeezes Riku’s pec teasingly, as if he wants to convey how much he wants to grope Riku and kiss him all night. 

And it’s the perfect gesture for Riku to understand Yushi’s intention. His chest has always been one of Yushi’s many turn-on.

“Oh…” the elder immediately mumbles, realizing why Yushi was acting weird before.

He wants sex, tonight , and there’s some kind of surprise involving it. It makes sense why Riku needs to shower now, realizing that he needs to feel clean before devouring his cute boyfriend.

“Can we?” Yushi ends up asking quietly, wondering if Riku isn’t in the mood since the elder has gone quiet.

After all, Yushi has always been the horny one, unable to control his raging hormones. And Riku is probably the insatiable one, sometimes pushing Yushi to his limits before letting the younger one sleep. It's why Yushi learned to be patient, waiting for the day when Riku wants to fuck him again.

Which seems to be tonight, considering Riku's reply.

“Yeah… Okay…” Riku says breathlessly, feeling his stomach churn in pleasure as he thinks about fucking Yushi’s tight ass tonight. “I’ll shower fast,” he promises before kissing Yushi quickly and heading to the bathroom.

He can hear Yushi giggle softly as he closes the bathroom door in a hurry. Even as he strips off his clothes at lightning speed, he can feel the excitement and tension build up within him.

Meanwhile, Yushi rushes in excitement as he puts away his chocolates onto his desk and strips off his clothes and briefs before slipping on the short white skirt. The skirt feels silky against his thighs, gently teasing his skin and making him feel turned on immediately. He mindlessly caresses his thighs in happiness, feeling sexy as he imagines Riku’s reaction tonight.

He decides to pose in a provocative way, to lie on his stomach while resting his head on his arms as he faces the bathroom. The skirt will barely cover his ass, and gives a small peek into the plumpness of the cheeks. Yushi thinks the best part is how he can rub his erection against the skirt, feeling slightly turned on by the fabric.

By the time Riku exits with a towel around his hips and nothing else, Yushi grins at him in greeting while laying his cheek on his arms, watching his expression carefully.

“That’s a very short skirt,” Riku says in a low tone as he walks closer to the bed.

“Do you like it?” Yushi asks while fluttering his eyes. “The website says it will accentuate my ass,” he says before turning to lay on his left side, purposely bending his legs so his skirt will move and giving a sneak peek for Riku. “But I feel like it's not enticing enough.”

“Nah, it looks good on you,” Riku reassures him softly as he stares down at Yushi's pretty form.

It’s the way the elder stares at his thighs, lecherous and intense, that Yushi can't help but shiver in delight. And the way his eyes travel upward to the bottom of the skirt, and rest on the soft cheeks that's peeking out.

Riku reaches out and touches Yushi’s thigh, caressing the soft skin with his fingers, tickling the skin as he trails upwards before groping Yushi’s ass. The younger pushes his ass backward, silently asking for the elder to touch him more.

Riku thinks about fingering that tight hole as his thumb slips between the cheeks, pressing against the entrance and noticing how the younger man has already prepared himself. It makes his excitement grow even more as he thinks about  fucking his boyfriend and making him bounce all night. And sometimes, he thinks about spanking Yushi out of frustration for all the times the younger stare at him with a cute, pleading face. It always made his dick hard with desire .

Most of all, he thinks that it’s been too long since they had a night like this. It has been weeks of separation and unsatisfactory masturbations. It feels long enough that he dreams about fucking Yushi at night time, and thinks about pushing Yushi down to his knees and making him suck his dick.

No one knows how perverted Riku can get besides Yushi, and that's only because the younger one encourages his wild kinks.

So Riku doesn't even care anymore about being gentle and sweet. He just wants to fuck his boyfriend and get some relief for once.

“Gonna fuck you,” he suddenly says without taking his eyes off that ass. “With the skirt on,” he adds.

Yushi looks up at Riku's eyes, noticing the serious gaze before deciding to lay on his stomach, thinking that Riku will fuck him from behind.

“Not like that. You're riding me tonight,” the elder tells him before telling Yushi to get on his knees. “Get me ready.”

Yushi immediately listens as he sits up, ignoring his heavy erection before taking off Riku's towel while kneeling. He tugs the elder’s erection with his hands, slowly tugging the length into half erect before pulling it towards his lips, licking the tip. He envelops the length slowly, not forcing the whole length as he sucks it, circling the tip with his tongue.

“Good boy,” he groans softly before thrusting into Yushi's mouth.

Yushi struggles to follow the rhythm, making sure to not choke or use his teeth on the thick length as he keeps sucking and licking it.

It’s still not enough stimulation to get Riku off, but it's enough to get him achingly hard and Yushi finally slips a condom into him, after feeling his jaw ache a little.

By then, Riku sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls Yushi into his lap, distracting him with an intense kiss as he squeezes his ass with both hands. He slips his fingers between the cheeks and stretches the entrance again, making sure it's been properly lubed before popping out his fingers, ignoring Yushi's complaint.

He quickly slather some lube into his dick, ignoring how Yushi is distracting him with kisses before sliding his dick in between Yushi's cheeks, teasingly bumping against the entrance. He aims his tip to the entrance and slowly breaches it with a long thrust. 

He feels rather impatient, ignoring how Yushi squirms and moans on his lap before thrusting again, feeling more of his length enter. Yushi whimpers and rocks against it, feeling the tip reach deep within him as he closes his eyes in pleasure.

Riku kisses his chin before grabbing hold of his hips and helps Yushi set a bouncing rhythm.

“Yu-chan,” he groans into his ear. “Feels so good tonight. Why are you always so tight for me? It's like you want me to stay inside forever.”

“Riku…” Yushi whines softly with half lidded eyes. He pants softly while moaning into Riku’s neck. “Faster. Wanna cum.”

“I know,” Riku grunts as he thrusts deeper. “I know what your slutty hole wants.”

He keeps thrusting deep within him, purposely ignoring Yushi's sensitive spots as the younger keeps bouncing, whining for release.

“Riku, please,” Yushi begs as he feels it approaching.

Riku simply shushes him, ignoring the younger's words as he palms his ass and squeezes it.

Yushi scratches Riku's back in retaliation, gasping when Riku starts to rub his entrance with his finger, liking the fact that he can feel his dick slide through that thin skin. He keeps teasing that skin, sometimes trying to slip his finger into the entrance too, but not succeeding.

Yushi finds it too stimulating though, whimpering as he begs Riku to stop doing that, and the elder only relents because he thinks it's time for Yushi's first release.

He changes his angle immediately and thrusts deep, feeling the younger twitch a few times before he cums loudly, panting against Riku's ear. 

As Yushi tries to catch his breath, Riku lifts him off his dick and lays him down into the bed on his stomach, smirking at how soiled that tiny skirt has become. He doesn't waste time before slipping his dick inside again, this time with Yushi's ass up in the air and his face pressed against the pillow.

In this position, it's easier for Riku to brush against Yushi's prostate while thrusting downward, enjoying the sound of Yushi begging him to not jab that spot.

“N..not there. Too much,” Yushi whimpers before moaning and clenching his dick. “Yes… There.”

It's the mixed messages that riles him up, causing him to get reckless at this time. He aims too deep, causing Yushi to claw against the bed, and he grinds against him, forcing the younger to feel the overstimulation.

“Noo… Stop,” the younger begs despite moving his hips along with the thrusts.

His second orgasm comes abruptly, and it's when Riku decides to lift him up from the position, causing his dick to brush against a sensitive spot. His cum sprays hard against the bed and he moans loudly with tearful eyes, not caring the fact that other people might hear them.

“Shhh, baby, not so loud,” Riku chuckles into his ear, still grinding against Yushi's entrance. “Last one. Let's make you pass out from pleasure.”

“Nooo… Riku, I can't,” Yushi begs prettily. “There's nothing left.”

“It's just your third one,” Riku says while grunting, aiming in a different spot, one that makes Yushi shiver and wriggle against him. “You liked this last time, remember? I made you cum so hard and it was watery that you thought it was pee,” he teases before kissing Yushi's shoulder. “Let's do that again.”

“I can't,” Yushi whines despite feeling himself bounce on Riku's lap still, unable to stop himself from enjoying the pleasure. He keeps gasping in small breaths as Riku thrusts deeply without a care, purposely dropping Yushi into his lap, letting the gravity fuck him.

And when Yushi feels overstimulated and tries to get off him, that's when Riku finally feels his own orgasm approaching, purposely grinding against him while twisting Yushi's nipples cruelly.

He can feel the hole tightens simultaneously as he thrusts and Yushi trashes against him, causing Riku to wrap his arms tighter around him. He groans against Yushi's neck as he starts to chase after his release, occasionally flicking Yushi's nipples before feeling Yushi's hole constrict and flutters against his erection.

Yushi whines loudly as he ejaculates, feeling his cum fly weakly to the floor as he trashes against Riku in overstimulation. He can feel his hole fluttering multiple times and his heart beats loudly as he feels his orgasm slowly dims down.

Meanwhile, Riku groans into Yushi's neck, mouthing it as he ejaculates into the condom, enjoying the way Yushi’s hole tightens against his dick and keeping it inside after everything.

It's also nice how Yushi still whimpers in his arms, looking like he's about to pass out, but refuses to sleep so their moment can last longer.

“Sorry,” Riku says to his ear before helping Yushi lay on his side, not willing to pull out just yet. “Was it too much?” He kisses Yushi's shoulders in apology. “I'll put on some anti pain patches after this.”

Yushi simply hums as he shakes his head in reply. He grabs Riku's hand while yawning, holding it tightly since he can't cling to the elder at the moment.

Riku squeezes his hand back and whispers to him to sleep, thanking him for being amazing tonight. Even as their sweat clings to each other, they prefer the closeness of each other rather than sleeping far apart.

“Happy White Day,” Yushi mutters quietly, feeling himself slowly fall asleep as he feels Riku's kisses on his neck.

“Happy White Day,” Riku replies back while chuckling, feeling forever grateful that he has the best boyfriend ever.

Chapter Text

It used to be a box of pocky shared between them, the regular chocolate flavor. Occasionally, Yushi would hold a stick up, teasing it playfully in front of Riku's face, and Riku would open his mouth, asking to be fed. That was how they would spend their nights after a long day of training and language classes.

And they would have these long night talks about what it'd be like to be an idol one day. Yushi could see the excitement and fear coming out of Riku's eyes, but most of all, anticipation. It felt scary thinking how close they were to debut. Yet, they also knew that they might debut together and that felt a little less overwhelming.

Maybe that was why Yushi could sigh a breath of relief when SM announced that they'd be in the same group.

There were no more doubts in both of their minds. They could keep holding onto each other without worrying about separation.

And soon, their nightly food tradition kept going.

Their favorite snack slowly changed from a cheap box of pocky to yummy pieces of fried chicken.

It tasted sweet and spicy, sometimes salty, and it would make Yushi hummed in contentment as he ate it. Eating it with Riku made the experience different . As if having Riku around would always make every experience better. That fact will never change.

Yushi would sometimes call it their cupid chicken dates because they would cuddle and snuggle afterwards, making up their couple time ever since they started dating.

And when Yushi became an adult, they naturally started including alcohol in their midnight snacks.

The younger still needed time to build up his alcohol tolerance, but eventually, Yushi would have a higher tolerance than Riku. So their nights would always end up in Yushi getting slightly tipsy, while Riku would take his time to finish his two cans. 

The elder would giggle whenever Yushi drank too much, and he would caress Yushi’s head gently as Yushi leaned against his side. They would whisper a meaningless conversation, bantering without an end, before Yushi would eventually pass out in his lap. That was when Riku would waste 5 minutes gazing down at the younger, wondering if he would ever stop loving Yushi one day. Then he would pick him up and carry him to bed.

Every night ended up in a similar manner so far.

But tonight feels a little different than usual. Tonight, Yushi becomes clingy before they start drinking. He keeps leaning against Riku, eating his chicken while rubbing his arm against his.

Riku finds the action to be cute, somehow thinking Yushi seems like a cat tonight, rubbing his scent into his owner.

And then Riku will notice how Yushi will pout as he thinks about taking another piece of chicken, and Riku will stare at those pretty lips for the longest time. The thin layer of grease makes it look enticing, and Riku thinks about kissing them and tasting them.

He shakes off the dirty thought and looks away, feeling slightly embarrassed for getting horny over a simple image. He supposes it's not his fault either. They've been so busy with the new comeback, and lately, they never get a chance to be alone . Even kissing is off the table since every day starts at 4 am. So all they can do is have their nightly cupid chicken date and pass out together.

Despite that, Riku is fine with this. Anything is fine as long as they can enjoy it together.

He just doesn't notice that Yushi isn't as patient as him.

“You never kiss me anymore,” Yushi mutters all of a sudden, still leaning against him.

Riku almost chokes on his chewed chicken before gulping it down and quickly drinking a gulp of water.

“What?” He asks slightly breathless. “We still kiss…”

“Good night kisses don't count,” Yushi whines softly. “And kissing me when I look cute doesn't count either.”

Riku remains silent, wondering if Yushi has been upset for a long time.

“I want a real kiss. One that makes me breathless, and one that makes me want to take your pants off even though we're supposed to go live in 5 minutes,” Yushi complains shamelessly.

“Yu-chan!” Riku says feeling slightly red in embarrassment, but also a little turned on that his boyfriend is so forward with his thoughts.

“I mean it,” Yushi says softly as he looks briefly at Riku’s eyes before looking away.

He doesn't know if Riku will think he's a crazy, horny guy, or that Riku misses it too. He can only hope it's the latter. For now, he's feeling anxious about what Riku will say.

“Sorry,” Riku says softly before leaning closer to wrap an arm around his waist and pulls him against his body. He kisses Yushi's forehead, realizing that Yushi will never not miss him. “I always want to kiss you, you know that.”

Yushi pouts his lips as he turns his head to the side, gesturing at him to prove it.

Riku doesn't hesitate to lean in and kiss him, softly at first, as if they're just pecking lips. But then he presses against it, swiping his tongue against the bottom lip, tasting the chicken oil.

Then his tongue slips in, dueling against Yushi's tongue, feeling their breaths mingle as Yushi moans against his mouth.

Riku can feel himself harden easily, and he even touches Yushi through his pants, feeling the erection rock against his palm. By the time he pulls away, Yushi is panting and looks ready for the next round. The younger makes sure to keep Riku’s hand hostage, holding it over his erection, as if silently asking him to keep touching him.

Riku can only lick his lips in anticipation for tonight. He knows that they'll be exhausted this morning if they do this, and that they might regret it too, but damn it , he’s also a guy who gets horny often.

After all, what's the point of calling their dates cupid chicken if there isn't any love shared between them?

So he gives in to these urges, deciding that Yushi is his real snack for tonight.

Chapter Text

The land of Saryu is rich in natural resources, well-known for their rare ores and precious herbs. It’s one of the reasons why this land attracts so many new immigrants, as well as merchants who want to grow their business. Currently, the land is governed by King Yuta, who puts down strict laws about what kind of resources can be exported or imported. It’s simply to keep their resources bountiful over time. They want to limit the power of merchants who want to exploit this land and to limit possible inflation.

The other territories have formed a trade agreement with Saryu, usually exchanging their own resources, or allowing their skilled craftsmen to be bought out by Saryu. It’s simply because Saryu lacks the kind of people who can transform ores into gems, or even simple weapons.

There are also territories who don’t necessarily need Saryu’s resources, but simply want to become their allies. One of them is Fujin, a land well-known for their variety choices of seafood as well as medicinal herbs. Its value isn’t as high as Saryu, but the fact that they can easily grow medicinal herbs has been one of its stronger qualities. Since Saryu doesn’t necessarily need their herbs or seafood, Fujin decides to propose an arranged marriage with Saryu’s third prince, Riku.

King Yuta is at first wary about their intentions, so he invites the Fujin’s royal family, as well as Fujin’s proposed groom, prince Yushi, to come and attend a fancy ball.

Soon, territories bordering Saryu and Fujin start to hear about the upcoming event, wondering if this proposal will be accepted. Most of them look forward to seeing the wedding one day, while others are worried that Saryu will become too strong once this alliance is confirmed. 

In the end, Saryu ends up inviting other representatives from the other territories, simply to pacify their worries.

And soon, the day of the ball arrives.

Prince Riku has been dreading this day for a while now. He finds the idea of being paired up with some stranger to be off-putting and ridiculous. Though, he knows that it’s part of his duties, to maintain Saryu’s dignity and help it thrive. He has known for years that he won’t be the heir of Saryu, that’d be his eldest brother, Haechan. He just wishes he can live his life like Doyoung, the second prince, who’s allowed to have a low-key life by simply helping Haechan plan out Saryu’s future. Most of all, Doyoung is simply staying in Saryu as the back-up heir, so his life won't be exciting and Riku wants that kind of life. In any case, Riku isn’t really looking forward to meeting prince Yushi, thinking they’ll probably send some handsome, dim-witted prince who’ll be used as Riku’s trophy spouse. If Riku is going to marry out of obligations, he prefers someone who’ll challenge him intellectually too. Despite that, he still withholds his opinion, fearing his father will punish him if he defies him.

So they dress him in Saryu’s traditional clothing and they make him sit below the King, showcasing that he’s still a royal blood despite being used as a pawn.

And when the people of Fujin’s finally arrive, everyone faces the double door and watches in silence as 2 people lead the way before they notice prince Yushi, dressed in Fujin’s traditional clothing. He is walking behind them, surrounded by his people, following silently. Unlike his people, Yushi’s face is covered by a thin veil, hiding his face until the proposal is accepted by Saryu. There are also 2 maids accompanying prince Yushi.

After all, in almost every territory, the law states that neither party is allowed to reject a candidate based on their looks. Rejection must have a valid, logical reason, and Fujin is allowed to counter that rejection with a better proposal.

Due to this, the changes of the proposal will be discussed between each representative, and the princes will simply agree to it without being able to voice their opinions.

After Fujin’s representative greets the king, King Yuta finally commences the ball, allowing their guests to mingle with each other. This gives them the chance to talk to prince Yushi, or ask him for a dance.

Though the first dance is still reserved between prince Yushi and prince Riku. So Riku grudgingly steps down from his chair and walks towards Yushi, thinking that he just needs to endure one dance before going back to his chair.

He just hopes that Yushi is a decent dancer and won’t step on his foot repeatedly.

“May I have this dance?” he asks prince Yushi, trying to look through the veil, but it looks more opaque than translucent from his side. He extends his hand out, offering him to take it.

He thinks that Yushi can probably see better from under the veil, hypothesizing that the veil will seem transparent from Yushi’s side.

Nevertheless, Yushi takes Riku’s hand and allows him to lead him to the center of the ballroom.

There, they dance to the first song, a rather slow tempo music designed to make the princes have a slow dance.

Riku holds Yushi’s waist firmly, feeling his slim body under his tunic clothing. He guides Yushi through the tempo, but finds himself to be swaying along with Yushi, realizing that Yushi is able to follow along without struggling.

He also notices how Yushi is light on his feet, able to twirl beautifully when Riku asks him to.

By the end of the dance, they bow to each other and Yushi returns to his corner, accepting some water from his maid.

Riku doesn’t move yet from his spot as he watches Yushi from afar, thinking how Yushi might not be as bad as he thought.

**

Weeks pass by as Saryu slowly changes the proposal’s conditions, and Fujin keeps giving them a revised proposal. Every time they change something, Fujin returns to Saryu with Yushi, a common custom during an arranged marriage’s process .

Over their many visits, Riku is obligated to keep Yushi company, whether it’s watching events together, or spending an afternoon in the drawing room, simply conversing or playing a game. 

Over time, Riku slowly learns more about Yushi, figuring out about his hobbies, and sometimes playing a complicated game of chess before eventually giving up because Yushi is better at it.

And often, they’ll draw together, staring at an object and seeing which one can draw it better, grading their art together and giggling whenever someone makes the ugliest drawing ever.

During these times, there’s always someone supervising them, making sure that Riku doesn’t lift Yushi’s veil yet, or Yushi sneakily showing a glimpse of his face. They also make sure that the princes won’t consummate since they’re not married yet.

Despite thinking how much he dislikes arranged marriages, Riku is beginning to warm up to Yushi, often thinking what Yushi will look like under the veil, wondering if he’s more pretty or cute. He also finds Yushi’s voice to be pleasing, finding his unique timber to be more boyish than manly. Most of all, he wonders if Yushi thinks Riku is handsome, somehow feeling a little anxious that Yushi will think of him as an ugly prince.

His best friend seems to think that Riku might like Yushi a little, teasing him all the time. Riku doesn’t know if he does like Yushi in that way. He just knows that he doesn’t mind it anymore. That marrying Yushi might not be so bad anymore.

**

Yushi stares outside the window, waving goodbye at Riku after spending another day together.

It was a day full of silence, reading together and enjoying the occasional sound of flipping pages. It was also the first time Yushi saw Riku doze off in his chair, watching the elder nap for the longest time, trying to memorize the adorable sight.

Like Riku, Yushi also had hesitations about this marriage. He feels scared about moving to an unknown land, and not being able to depend on anyone. He also feels sad that he’ll be away from his family and friends, and that he’ll feel lonely living in Saryu.

Yet, the moment he sees Riku in his royal chair, he knew that he wouldn’t hate this marriage.

Riku has always been handsome. Too handsome. He’s coyly charming, funny, and surprisingly, somewhat clumsy. Learning more about Riku and his hobbies has been making Yushi smile in happiness.

It makes him look forward to every visit, counting the hours until he can see Riku again.

This week’s visit isn’t any different. He’s enjoying it too much.

He knows that the proposal will be accepted soon. And after that, Yushi will be impatiently waiting in Fujin, counting down the days until his wedding day arrives. But for now, he enjoys spending time with Riku, treasuring the moment and saving the memory in his mind.

He also knows that when the proposal gets accepted, he’ll have to take off his veil, and he feels scared about it. He worries that Riku will find him ugly, or maybe not handsome enough for his taste. He thinks he’ll cry if Riku ends up thinking that way. Despite his insecurity, he takes a deep breath as he calms himself down, praying that everything will go well for them.

**

It’s two more hours until their wedding and Yushi feels nervous as he looks out the window. There are people greeting each other, and guards  restricting their entry since they can only enter an hour before the event.

He can even see his friends gathering in one corner, waiting for the ceremony to start. He’s starting to panic at the thought of seeing everyone today. He wonders if he can go through the process without messing up, and he feels himself panicking over time.

He’s about to have another nervous breakdown when a messenger knocks on the door and gives his maid a piece of note. Yushi looks at it cautiously before opening it.

Can’t wait to see you.

A rather simple sentence, but it makes Yushi smile in response, realizing that Riku must have known about how nervous he’s feeling. That single sentence keeps him grounded until it’s time to meet with Riku, a few minutes before the event starts.

In the meantime, Riku sits alone inside his room as he waits for the wedding to begin, reminiscing how fast the past few weeks have been. Three months ago, he hated the idea of marrying Yushi, and now, he’s looking forward to it, fervently . He thinks about enjoying their honeymoon, their married life, but most of all, having Yushi by his side through everything .

As his escorts beckon him to come out, Riku takes a deep breath before following them to Yushi’s room.

Once he arrives, Yushi steps out, looking as beautiful as always, greeting Riku with a nervous smile. To Riku, Yushi just looks so ethereal today, like an angel, and he even enjoys how Yushi is as timid as ever. 

He still remembers the first time he saw Yushi’s face, feeling speechless as he stared at him for the longest time. His first thought was “wow… I can’t believe that you’ll be mine in two weeks.” 

And even today, he still feels speechless when he sees Yushi. He still can’t believe that he’ll be married to this handsome prince.

And as Riku extends his hand out, asking for Yushi to take, Yushi takes his hand happily, smiling shyly at Riku. He starts to wonder if Riku likes his appearance today, impatiently waiting for Riku to compliment it. And he does so by tugging Yushi closer to his side, whispering a compliment into his ear before letting the guards usher them into the ballroom.

That single compliment makes Yushi’s heart skip a beat and he feels giddily happy, smiling without a care.

As they enter the ballroom together. he squeezes Riku’s hand for reassurance and follows him to the altar.

From now on, it’ll be their beginning.

Chapter Text

“I heard her name is Yu-chan,” someone says confidently in the hallway.

“I wonder how pretty she is,” a guy sighs in reply.

“I bet he didn’t work hard to get her number,” another guy grumbles while stomping his feet lightly.

“I doubt anyone ever rejected him,” his friend scoffs, not realizing that someone is walking behind them, eavesdropping into their conversation.

Ryo snorts at their conversation silently, wondering why there are so many people envying Riku senpai when the elder is simply a normal guy. Someone who can barely hold eye contact for a minute without getting shy, and someone who likes being spoiled by his friends.

Though, he supposes no one will know the full truth unless they befriended Riku, and he doubts that Riku senpai would befriend people who believe in rumors anyway.

Despite that, Ryo still enjoys hearing these rumors, finding entertainment in the absurdity. Maybe one day, the truth will come out and he’ll get to see some shocked reactions.

**

“I wish I could date someone as pretty as Yu-chan,” a passerby sighs as he walks with his friend.

Daeyoung has to withhold the loud snort that’s threatening to come out, covering his mouth before walking again. He grins as he nudges Yushi senpai with an amused expression.

“Looks like Yu-chan is getting popular again,” he comments with a grin.

Yushi rolls his eyes, too used to the comments and the wild accusations.

Ever since people overheard Riku mentioning ‘Yu-chan’, they all seem to think it’s a cute girl who has stolen the elder’s heart. Though it is true that he stole Riku’s heart, Yu-chan is definitely a boy; not some cute, wide-eyed girl that these students have imagined.

Though, he supposes he can’t blame them for their bad guess. It’s not like he or Riku are doing anything to stop the rumors. It’s just too much effort for them to actually care .

Plus, it’s not like he’s offended by it, and Riku himself always giggles when he hears about it, like some silly person.

In the end, he’s just going along with it, enduring the occasional teasings from his friends.

And if he’s truly honest about it, the rumors make him smile too, because fucking finally , these people are finally realizing that Riku isn’t single . Most of all, those annoying girls can’t ask Riku out anymore. It’s the ultimate win for Yushi.

Daeyoung thinks Yushi senpai’s thoughts to be a little funny, especially since Riku senpai can also just say he has a partner. But he knows that they’re a rather private couple despite dating since their first year, and not many friends know the nature of their relationship unless one of them said it explicitly. He himself didn’t even know the truth until he saw Riku senpai kiss Yushi senpai’s cheek out of habit.

Despite that shocking revelation, he thought they looked cute together. He even thinks the way they bicker is very cute and funny, especially since it’s usually Riku senpai whining in reaction and Yushi senpai looking confused before realizing his mistake. And watching them interact makes him wish that they’d last forever, causing Yushi senpai to side eye him for having a weird thought.

Nevertheless, Daeyoung looks forward to the day this couple go public. He’ll be their main supporter!

**

“See you guys on Monday,” Riku greets his teammates goodbye as he closes his locker after a long volleyball practice.

“Are you going to see Yu-chan after this?” his teammate, Seka, teases.

“How come we never met her?” another teammate, Tako, demands.

“Why would he let his stinky teammates meet her?” Nito senpai jokes.

“I’m not asking to meet her today!” Tako complains.

“What are you guys talking about?” Riku laughs loudly. “I’m going to see Sakuya tonight.”

“Uhuh, sure you are,” Seka says while rolling his eyes.

“We better not see you in a restaurant after this,” Ryuhei, another teammate, says with a scolding tone.

“I swear I’m just going to dinner with Sakuya! You guys know him,” Riku laughs again before opening the locker room’s door. “See you next week!”

He shakes his head as he exits, noticing Sakuya immediately, who stands nearby the locker room.

“Good practice, senpai?” Sakuya asks as he approaches him.

“Yeah,” Riku chuckles before wrapping an arm around Sakuya’s shoulders. “They think I’m seeing Yu-chan tonight… so silly…”

“But you are going to see him tonight… we’re going to his restaurant tonight…” Sakuya drawls with a confused expression.

“Yes, but it won’t be a date,” Riku corrects him.

“Okay?” Sakuya says, still confused as he walks with him.

“Let’s walk faster. It’s getting chilly,” Riku says, changing the topic before tugging Sakuya to follow him.

They end up arriving a few minutes later, noticing that the restaurant is still a little packed. It’s approaching closing time, but there are still a few girls sitting inside, possibly only there to stare at Yushi. After all, ever since they found out that Yushi works here, the girls have been trying to win his heart. Plus, they know that Riku senpai will usually eat in the restaurant on Friday nights before leaving together with Yushi. So they think it's a double treat to stick around until it's closing time.

“Welcome,” a few waiters and waitresses greet them as they enter.

Riku nods in greeting as he takes a seat nearby and waits for Sakuya to join him. He places his arms on the table, extending them out.

“I’ll take it,” Yushi says to his co-worker, Rita, before walking to them.

Riku grins at his boyfriend as Yushi approaches with a blank expression.

“The usual?” Yushi asks Riku, waiting to tap the order.

“Yep,” Riku confirms, smiling at him, taking the chance to move his right arm closer to Yushi, purposely brushing his fingers against Yushi’s stomach. “How was your day?” 

Yushi shrugs, not looking that happy, and Riku frowns at his reaction.

“Better than yesterday,” Yushi admits before sighing a little. 

Riku can only rub Yushi’s stomach subtly with his finger, offering a small consolation.

In the meantime, Yushi inserts Riku’s order into the tablet before facing Sakuya to take his order.

“I’m going to try the shoyu flavor today,” Sakuya says bravely, deciding to try something new.

“No, you won’t finish it,” Riku immediately scolds him. “Just give him the usual too.”

“That’s not true! I’ll finish it!” Sakuya whines to his senpai, who does not believe a single word.

“The usual it is,” Yushi says, not listening to Sakuya either before leaving.

“Senpai, that’s not fair,” Sakuya pouts at Riku.

“The last time you tried something new, I had to help you finish your food.”

“That was one time…” the youngest huffs before crossing his arms.

As silence falls between them, they notice the conversation in the background, where a girl is explaining to her friend that Riku has a girlfriend named Yu-chan.

“... I heard that Yu-chan is really pretty, and tall. And that they’ve been together since high school,” she whispers a bit too loudly.

“Wow…”

“Oh, and that he proposed to her, but she said no because he’s not rich yet,” she whispers as if it’s the holy truth.

Riku groans internally after hearing that, feeling the urge to facepalm and hide. He’s pretty sure if he was here with Sohee or Seunghan, they’d be laughing their asses off without a care.

He’s just glad that he’s here with Sakuya, who’s usually too aloof to notice what’s going on.

Unfortunately, Sakuya was also listening to the gossip.

“Is that true?” he suddenly asks, wondering if they’re right.

“No!” Riku scoffs, feeling offended that his kouhai would think so. “How could you think these gossips were true?” he scolds Sakuya with an annoyed tone.

“But what about the ring I saw on your…” Sakuya wonders with a curious expression.

“Shhh,” Riku immediately tells him, kicking his leg lightly. “Don’t talk about that,” he warns him with a serious gaze.

He doesn’t want other people to know about the promise rings that they bought for each other. After all, it’s a promise between him and Yushi, and no one else. He feels protective about it.

“Sorry,” Sakuya says sheepishly, feeling apologetic, and Riku gives him a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry about it,” Riku tells him before smiling at Yushi for bringing them their drinks.

**

Later that night, Riku waits patiently outside as Yushi says goodbye to his co-worker and boss. He whistles into the dark sky, thinking about old memories before noticing Yushi exiting the restaurant.

The younger one looks tired tonight, but happy enough to run to Riku’s side, nudging his side.

“Tadaima,” Yushi says, joking about how he has returned ‘home’.

“Okaeri,” Riku says easily, smiling as he nudges back with his arm. He gestures to Yushi that they should go home now, and the younger nods in agreement.

Fortunately, there are no more girls spying on them, so it gives Riku the chance to slip his hand into Yushi’s palm, holding it tightly.

“Let’s get Yu-chan into bed,” Riku teases lightly, noticing the younger’s tired eyes.

“Only if you lay down next to me,” Yushi says tiredly, remembering how much he missed Riku this week.

“Of course,” Riku replies as he squeezes his hand, walking slowly towards the train station.

“According to Daeyoung, Yu-chan is now an assistant professor that likes to date young men,” he tells Riku, finding this new rumor to be interesting. “Apparently, I’m a true fox,” he says with a teasing smile.

Riku scoffs at his words.

“Is that so? Because I heard that you’re this pretty girl, and that we’ve been together for years. And that you rejected my proposal,” Riku teases back.

“As if I’d be stupid enough to reject you,” Yushi says with a huff, pouting a little at the absurd gossip and Riku smiles at him.

“Right? My Yu-chan would have proposed instead,” Riku says teasingly, reminding Yushi of his embarrassing past.

“Shut up,” Yushi complains with red ears, elbowing his boyfriend.

Riku grins as he looks sideways, staring at Yushi, enjoying how the younger one looks embarrassed tonight. He quickly kisses Yushi’s cheek, laughing when Yushi squeaks in reaction.

“Stop that! We’re still outside,” Yushi whines loudly.

“So what? It’s too dark for anyone to notice it,” Riku shrugs, feeling too happy to care about possible risks.

“Still… It makes me want to kiss you,” Yushi says with a slight pout.

“Later,” Riku promises with a wide grin. “I’ll even let you kiss my moles,” he teases again, knowing how much Yushi likes to touch his shoulder’s moles.

“Promise?” Yushi asks seriously, looking forward to it.

“Mhm,” Riku hums, agreeing easily.

They both can’t wait for it.

**

“I heard him talking to her the other day. He was begging her to not be mad. I wonder if they broke up…” a nosy student tells her friend.

“Seriously? Wow…”

Yushi passes by them without a care, walking quickly to meet Riku near the entrance of the university. He barely notices his surroundings, only keen on seeing Riku again.

He finally notices Riku and his teammate, having a conversation, and he thinks about interrupting them, but then he hears the topic.

“... Damn, really? So you’re still dating her?” Tako asks, sounding upset that he lost his chance on stealing Yu-chan.

“Yes, I’m still dating Yu-chan,” Riku says exasperatedly to his teammate, rolling his eyes.

“You sure you don’t want to be single again?”

“Fuck no,” Riku says while laughing. “I already found the one,” he admits to him.

“Wait, you proposed?!”

“Something like that…”

Riku suddenly notices Yushi, and smiles brightly.

“I just didn’t want anyone else stealing my Yu-chan,” he admits while maintaining eye contact with Yushi, smirking at him purposely, knowing that Yushi will feel flustered after hearing it.

And he's right, he can subtly see Yushi’s red ears.

“Damn, I didn't know it got serious,” Tako says with a heavy sigh. “Well, good luck man. Hope it goes well,” he pats Riku's shoulder before saying goodbye and leaving.

Riku grins at Yushi after that, wondering when these wild rumors will finally die down. Hopefully soon so he can finally gatekeep his favorite nickname again. After all, that's his nickname for Yushi, and it shouldn't be used by random people.

Though he does wonder if these slow people will realize it one day. After all, there's a hickey on Yushi's neck and no one is commenting about it. Maye he needs to make it bigger tonight. Now that's something he's looking forward to.

Chapter Text

“Did you know that Yushi looks at you with sparkly eyes?”

A fan asks Riku with a tiny giggle.

“Really?” Riku asks back, a slight smile on his lips as he looks towards Yushi.

It was a harmless question, posed by a fan who enjoyed seeing him and Yushi interact. It was meant to make Riku notice Yushi’s affections. And it was simply a tease towards Yushi, who could never hide his starry-eyed gazes towards his favorite person.

Yet, at that moment, Riku can feel his stomach flip in excitement. As if he can’t help but feel happy hearing about it.

Which is silly, really .

Most people who have watched them interact knew that Yushi is simply in love with Riku. There was no ‘maybe’ or ’what if’, it was simply the truth. After all, Yushi could never hide how he felt when he was in a bad mood, or in a hyper mood. Which is why many fans have noticed how much energy he has, now that Riku was back by his side. It was so easy to see the difference between Yushi during Riku’s hiatus, and Yushi when Riku was beside him.

And maybe because it was too obvious that Riku hesitated on believing it.

Because, like dreams, it felt surreal.

How could he achieve in becoming an idol and meet someone who makes him happy?

It’s impossible. It’s impossible to have all of this luck in a lifetime.

And even if he repeats this illogical reasoning inside his mind, he still can’t hide the love behind his eyes. The way he gazes with unspoken words, and the way his eyes soften whenever Yushi childishly demands his attention.

I love you, you know that right?

He sighs silently, struggling to keep the intense emotion within him as he stares at Yushi later that night, overthinking about that fan’s question. He thinks about the meaning behind Yushi’s gazes, and he thinks if he has gone crazy with thoughts, forever wondering if Yushi might actually like him.

He’s so deep within his thoughts that he doesn’t notice Yushi pouting across from him, grabbing his hand and asking him if he’s alright.

“Riku…”

“I’m okay,” Riku says quickly, feeling guilty for making Yushi worry.

“Are you sure?” Yushi asks quietly with a worried expression. His lips purse as he pouts, and his eyes stare at him intensely, as if searching for clues through his gaze.

Riku casts his gaze down in shyness, feeling his heart beat quickly, squeezing Yushi’s hand in reassurance.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says as he breathes out his sentence, momentarily looking up at Yushi, holding the younger’s gaze for a few seconds before lowering his gaze, briefly staring at his lips. He thinks about how red it looks today, and his traitorous brain thinks about kissing him, flashing an image of how soft it might feel.

“... Should we order some fried chicken tonight?” Yushi asks softly, silently asking if they should have a talk tonight.

“Yeah,” Riku says easily, unable to ever say ‘no’ to Yushi. “Let’s get your favorite.”

Chapter Text

Kai senpai or Riku?

A rather harmless question that came from a curious fan, but it became the question that made Yushi think about the types of love.

It’s easy to admit that his love towards Kai senpai is unboundless, the kind of love that doesn’t change over time even after debuting in NCT Wish. He’s always going to admire him, as a dancer, as an artist, and as a person. There’s never going to be a 2nd bias for him.

But it also made him wonder why he couldn’t rank Kai over Riku, or even Riku over Kai. It seems impossible to pick one over the other, and it’s a weird feeling. It’s like tasting a weird aftertaste when trying a new food. It just doesn’t feel right.

And he thinks about how weird it is, especially since he can easily choose Riku over ramen, and that wasn’t a hard choice, at all.  

“Maybe it’s because you love Riku hyung as much as you love Kai hyung,” Daeyoung suggests as they talk about it in the living room’s sofa.

“But I shouldn’t… I mean, there should be a clear hierarchy between them. It’s like if you had to choose between your family or your friends. It shouldn’t have felt that hard to answer.”

“Well, maybe the question forced you to realize that they’re equal. That’s still possible, right?”

“I guess…”

“I mean, it is a hard question. I’d also be unsure if I had to choose between my bias and the person I’m in love with…”

Yushi lightly kicks Daeyoung for saying that, feeling shy from hearing those words.

“I bet Riku would have chosen Mark hyung…” Yushi mutters while looking away from Daeyoung.

“You don’t know that! He could still choose you!”

Yushi simply pouts in reply, refusing to acknowledge the possibility. After all, ever since Riku met Mark hyung, it’s been days of gushing compliments to the elder rapper.

He’s not even that cool – Yushi likes to think spitefully, feeling competitive.

“Hyung! Did you know that Yushi hyung couldn’t choose between you and Kai hyung?” Daeyoung immediately asks Riku once the elder passes by the living room.

“Daeyoung!” Yushi grabs his arm in embarrassment, causing Daeyoung to laugh loudly.

“Really?” Riku asks with an amused smile. “I won over Kai hyung?” he asks Yushi with a teasing tone.

“ No ,” Yushi says sulkily with red ears. “I just said that to make you feel better,” he lies horribly, and he knows that Riku can tell when he lies.

It’s probably why Riku decides to sit beside him, purposely bouncing on the sofa before leaning his body weight against him.

“I’m so happy… I even won against ramen the other day,” Riku teases while smiling, placing his head on Yushi's shoulder.

“That wasn’t even a hard question,” Yushi admits to him before wondering about something. “... What about me? Do I win against jelly?”

“Well…” Riku pretends to think about it before laughing over Yushi’s upset reaction. “I’m kidding! You already know that you win over jelly.”

His hand takes Yushi’s hand in reassurance, squeezing it firmly and Yushi smiles as he stares at their joined hands.

“Then, what about me versus Mark hyung?” Yushi asks quietly, despite feeling scared to hear the answer. “Who would win then?”

“Hmm… How should I answer this?” Riku asks, giggling over the absurdity.

Yushi doesn’t seem to find it funny as he frowns, wanting to run off in embarrassment because of course , Riku would choose Mark hyung. He doesn’t even know why he bothered asking.

It’s the soft kiss to his left cheek that pulls him back into reality, causing Yushi to wonder what happened.

He gazes to his left side, staring at Riku’s endearing expression, unable to look away.

“That’s not an easy question, you know,” Riku says softly, looking away in shyness. “Without Mark hyung, I wouldn’t have found my role model… someone I could imagine becoming one day.”

And Yushi understands that. He feels the same way about Kai senpai.

“And without you, I wouldn’t be here,” Riku exhales loudly. “I would just feel lost in the spotlight, and you just… you keep me sane , you know…” he says with a small smile, staring at him, wishing that the younger can understand the meaning behind his words.

And Yushi gets it. Without Riku, he would feel lost too. Riku gives him the energy to endure , and that's something that he can't measure in value. Having Riku beside him feels priceless .

So yeah, he gets it. Just like Riku, he can't pick between the two.

“You keep me sane too,” he admits in the end, squeezing Riku’s hand, giggling when Riku teasingly makes a kissy face towards him.

He retaliates by grabbing Riku's tiny waist and hugs him from the side, ignoring how Daeyoung is teasing them about their clinginess.

He's just going to hope that he'll win against Mark hyung one day.

Chapter Text

It's not the wind nor the rain that makes Yushi fluster. That’s only an inconvenience.

It's the way Riku holds his hand, tightly and unwavering as they hold the umbrella together. It makes Yushi's stomach churn in a pleasant way, slightly blushing as he smiles happily, unknowingly pointing his feet towards Riku's body. He can't help but press their hands against his chest, an unknowing desire to have more of Riku beside him. And the happiness easily shows in his face, the way he tries to stave off his giddiness, twisting his lips before settling into a half smirk.

Click.

The staff takes their pictures, and Riku hasn't let go of his hand nor the umbrella.

And it's not like Riku needed to hold onto that umbrella. He already knew that Yushi was keeping it upright without an issue. To a bystander’s eye, holding both Yushi's hand and the umbrella seems unnecessary and funny.

So why ? Why did he have to hold onto both when he didn't need to?

Because it's love.

A claim that seems bold, and possibly exaggerated, but to Riku, it's simply the truth. He loves Yushi, so much so that he doesn't think twice about holding his hand, or calling him Yu-chan endearingly. It's the little things he likes to emphasize, just so that Yushi will always know how much he loves him.

Even now, when the photoshoot is done and the members are running off to find shelter, Riku doesn't move from his spot. He simply waits for Yushi to decide, even as the rain starts to pour hard, and they can feel their shoulders getting wet.

“Riku, what do we do?” Yushi asks as if he can't decide between finding shelter or staying beside Riku.

“Should we just wait here?” Riku suggests, unwilling to part from Yushi's side.

“Your shirt is getting wet…” Yushi mutters with a small pout, staring up to Riku’s face, feeling guilty for not moving.

“It's just rain,” Riku reassures him, squeezing his hand as he stares back at Yushi's eyes.

In that moment, he thinks about how this feels familiar, the amount of times they've stared at each other. Sometimes sharing a silent conversation, and sometimes they're too tired to say anything, but finding comfort in the other’s gaze.

And right now, he’s simply thinking about how cute Yushi was today, wishing they could kiss soon.

“Riku was cool today,” Yushi suddenly says, holding his gaze without feeling shy.

“Wh...what? What is this? Are you flirting ?” Riku can only reply teasingly, feeling flabbergasted and embarrassed at the same time.

“J..joke! It's a joke!” Yushi says with red ears before trying to run away, letting go of the umbrella.

But Riku quickly catches him in his arm, forcing them to stick together, with the umbrella handle squished between them as Riku keeps it upright. He grins at Yushi, feeling somewhat triumphant.

“Yu-chan’s too cute today,” Riku tells him in a low tone. “I like this version of Yu-chan. So cute. It makes me want to kiss you.”

Yushi can only blush and look away briefly, before looking at Riku again, this time feeling more confident than before. He leans in and kisses him lightly, barely exchanging saliva, but he can feel their lips press against each other.

And Riku takes this opportunity to pull him closer, ignoring their reality as he kisses him back. There's no tongue slipping in, or nibbling across the bottom lip. It's simply two lips pressing against each other, feeling their warm breaths against each other’s lips and hearing Yushi whimper, shivering at the sound.

And in their heated moment, Riku lets go of the umbrella by accident, letting it fall, causing them to pull apart as the heavy rain starts to wet their clothes.

They run off to the nearest shelter with Yushi extending his hand out and Riku grabbing it. They giggle as they run, only stopping when they're under the roof.

“You guys are in the wrong building!” Sion yells at them, giggling at their silly mistake.

“You forgot the umbrella!” Ryo reminds them.

“We'll get it later!” Riku tells them before facing Yushi again, smiling at his cute boyfriend.

“Sorry,” Yushi says softly, feeling guilty.

“Don't be,” Riku reassures him. “Let's kiss again later,” he whispers into his ear.

Yushi squeezes his hand in anticipation, looking forward to that kiss tonight.

Chapter Text

In this world, owning a hybrid is like having a lifetime companionship. It's like an alternate way of finding a lifetime partner, and it's an expensive choice. And Riku knew that when he adopted Yushi, realizing that he'll spend most of his salary catering to Yushi's needs.

Luckily, he doesn't mind that.

Seeing Yushi’s pretty face beside him on the sofa, or watching him sleep and purr as he scratched his head, Riku always found himself recharged and happy the next day. After all, their relationship has become meaningful and passionate, where they share and satisfy each other's needs. It's a strong bond of love between them, and Riku doesn't think he can find this in anyone else.

Even tonight as Riku scratches Yushi’s chin as his kitty’s head lies on his lap, his heart beats in endearment as he stares at Yushi, feeling content in hearing Yushi purr all night long. Yushi's tail swishes against Riku, curling and hugging Riku occasionally.

This is the life – Riku will often think as he bends down and kisses Yushi’s forehead.

“Yu-chan~ don't forget that next week, I'll work late,” Riku reminds him softly, unable to stop smiling.

Yushi barely hears him as he twists his back against the sofa, feeling slightly turned on.

“D..do my ear next,” Yushi whimpers instead.

“Yes, yes,” Riku chuckles before gently massaging his ear and scratching it.

He'll just have to remind Yushi again tomorrow about his schedule.

**

On the weekend, they go shopping for clothes, a favorite hobby of theirs. Riku likes to go to thrift stores and find something unique for himself, and sometimes, he likes to dress Yushi in his style.

Though Yushi is sometimes picky about his looks and dislikes Riku’s choices. He doesn't mind if Riku dressed him like a cool cat, with leather jacket and sunglasses, and he loves it when Riku dressed him with a long pea coat and round glasses, portraying him as a chic cat. They'll do selfies in front of the dressing mirror, sometimes giggling as they pose together.

But sometimes, Riku's style can be very lame. Like when he suggests Yushi to try out these black tank tops, claiming Yushi will look cute in them.

Not in a million years! – Yushi will think silently as he glares at Riku before turning his head away pointedly. He huffs and stomps away like a childish kitten.

Stupid, stupid Riku – Yushi will vehemently think as he squats down unhappily.

“Okay, okay! I'll put them away!” Riku will then say with a laugh before finding the right hangers.

What a troublesome cat – Riku ends up thinking before shaking his head.

He ends up coaxing Yushi to stand up, telling him to come eat lunch with him.

“Yu-chan~ let's go. Let's go and eat. I'll buy you your favorite food,” Riku says softly, caressing his hair.

“Ramen?” Yushi suggests silently.

“How about yakiniku? I'll grill you lots of chicken and meat,” Riku says instead, trying to get his kitty to eat less salty foods.

“And fish too?” Yushi asks with wide, begging eyes.

“Yes, let's grill some salmon,” Riku promises before extending his hand out again.

Yushi finally stands up and relents, grabbing Riku's hand and standing too close to his owner, almost clinging. Riku wraps an arm around his waist and guides him to the restaurant.

Later on, Riku grills the food for him, slowly feeding his cat in tiny pieces and telling him to not swallow too fast. He even lets Yushi feed him, complaining when Yushi dips too much sauce and makes Riku's face all messy. And eventually, he watches Yushi eat silently, smiling and enjoying the constant purring coming out of Yu-chan.

When they finally go home, Yushi becomes sleepy, snoring lightly in the passenger chair and his tail is limp on his side.

Riku takes this time to caress his tail, liking how soft it feels under his fingers. It's the only time he can touch it without Yushi glaring at him for playing with his tail like a toy.

He can't help it. He just likes touching Yushi.

And when they arrive home, Riku will gently pick him up and carry him inside, looking forward to snuggling with his cat again.

**

“Yu-chan~,” Riku calls out near the doorway.

Yushi perks up from his resting spot before scrambling off and running towards his Riku.

“Baby, I'm going to work. Be good and don't make a mess,” Riku says as he puts on his shoes 

“You're going?” Yushi asks with a huge pout.

“I have work,” Riku pouts back. “And I'll be back late, so if you get lonely, just go see Sion senpai.”

“Why?” Yushi whines as he grabs onto Riku's sleeve and refuses to let go. “Why do you have to come home late?”

“Because I have deadlines coming up.”

“Just forget them.”

“I can't… they're important.”

“More important than me?” Yushi asks with wide, sad eyes. It's amazing how fast his eyes can tear up dramatically.

“No! Of course not! But I still have to finish them before I see you,” Riku reminds him as he rubs his head and scratches the scalp. “I promise I'll work as fast as I can, maybe before bedtime.”

“I don't like it,” Yushi huffs.

“I know, baby,” Riku reassures him with a cute voice, ruffling his hair. “I'll miss you so much today.”

“Prove it!” Yushi demands with a glare, wanting more affection than a simple head rub.

Riku reaches out and grabs his waist, pulling his cat closer to his body. He leans in and kisses him without so much of a word, licking the pretty lips and giggling when Yushi purrs in happiness.

“Be good and I'll bring back six bentos on Friday,” Riku whispers to him before kissing him again.

“Really?” Yushi whispers back with twinkling wide eyes. His tail swishes happily and hugs Riku’s tiny waist.

“Yes,” Riku promises, patting his cat’s butt before stepping away. “I'll see you tonight, okay?”

“Okay,” Yushi relents with a tiny sigh despite still feeling happy about the bentos. “Goodbye kiss?”

Riku leans in quickly and pecks him before running off to the door.

“Bye bye!” Riku says out loud before leaving and Yushi can only pout as he stares at the closed front door.

From then on, Yushi feels the dread of loneliness.

**

He spends the day texting Riku, unwilling to let go of his phone the whole day. Sometimes he tells Riku what he's doing at the moment, and sometimes he takes funny selfies, sticking his tongue out or making funny faces. And sometimes he spams emojis to annoy him, giggling when Riku sends back an annoyed gif.

And then lunch time arrives. He takes out his prepared lunch from the fridge and eats it quickly before heading towards their bedroom.

He strips naked before he grabs all of Riku’s clothes from the closet, drops them into the bed, and lays on top of them. He wastes hours rubbing his skin into the clothes, making sure he scents every inch before returning them into the closet, messily.

And when Riku checks up on him during lunch time, he gets overly excited, giggling and replying back too quickly. He’ll twist and turn in the bed as he replies, taking a selfie of his naked self, and giggling again when Riku scolds him for being naughty. Despite that, Riku still sends him many kisses and a heartfelt I miss you.

Over time, he feels sleepy and falls into a long nap, curling inside their thin duvet.

When he finally wakes up, he's hungry and slightly drowsy, wondering what time it is.

He sees a missed call from Riku and some missed texts, sleepily answering them before stretching on the bed while yawning.

He feels cold now, so he slips into Riku’s clothes and walks to the kitchen, hugging his phone as his loneliness returns.

It's almost 6 pm, but he knows that Riku won't be home until at least 8 pm. He hates it.

He wants Riku back now. Yet, he knows that he's powerless in making Riku return quicker, so all he can do is wait.

And he decides to wait in his favorite hiding spot, under the dining table where he's slightly covered by the table cloth. In this spot, he can see the front door, where he can greet Riku right away, and he can also see their bedroom, in case he needs to run away for safety.

There's a long padded pillow under the table, one that Riku bought ever since he found out that his kitty loves hiding there. And Yushi seems to love it so much that he always curls inside of it. Tonight, Yushi rests on that pillow, waiting impatiently as his stomach growls in hunger.

At around 7 pm, Sion senpai enters with a copy of the keys, heating some leftover foods before beckoning Yushi to come out and eat.

Though Yushi hisses at Sion senpai when he tries to come closer. He doesn't like his smell, finding it pungent because another cat has marked Sion. It's a given since Sion senpai owns his own hybrid, a black cat by the name of Wonbin.

“Come on,” Sion senpai tries to coax him. “Riku will be sad if you don't eat,” he reminds him.

Yushi doesn't care as he turns his head away pointedly, ignoring his scolding.

Sion sighs before shaking his head.

“Well, I've tried. Your food is on the table if you change your mind,” Sion reminds him before leaving.

And soon, Yushi is back hiding in the darkness. His yellow eyes glitter in the dark, and his ears twitch every time he hears a new sound. He keeps waiting, and waiting, until he finally smells Riku approaching the front door, and his tail swishes in excitement.

There's a moment of delay as Yushi hears the familiar beeping sound, indicating that Riku is using the keypad instead of his key. And when the door finally opens, Yushi twitches in his pillow, feeling giddy to greet his owner. But at the same time, he feels spiteful, sulking that Riku took too long, wanting his owner to repent for his bad behaviour.

So he doesn't come out from his hiding spot, stubbornly mad for no reason.

“Yu-chan~ are you hiding? Are you mad?” Riku’s voice echoes from the doorway and Yushi can hear the pouting tone. “Baby~ don't be mad,” Riku begs cutely as he approaches the dining table. “I swear I tried to come home as fast as I could.”

Riku ends up squatting beside the table before laying on the ground so he can see his Yu-chan better. He smiles once he sees his familiar cat under the table, all curled in a very cute way.

“Yu-chan, forgive me. Don't be mad. I even went to your favorite dessert place so you'd feel better. You said you loved their cakes,” Riku says softly as he stares at him with a sad expression. “I even got you your favorite flavor, strawberry.”

“... Cake?” Yushi asks softly.

“Mhm. Strawberry cake,” Riku repeats his words. “Do you want to try it with me? Let's eat dinner together, okay?”

“I want cake instead…” Yushi mutters with a frown.

“After dinner. I promise,” Riku says with his pink being shown, signifying a pinky promise.

Yushi pouts for a while, thinking about his choices before finally deciding to agree, shaking their pinkies together.

It's only then that Yushi crawls out from under the table and jumps into Riku’s arms, hugging the elder tightly as Riku helps him to come out.

Later on, they eat dinner together at the table, with Yushi clinging to Riku’s side and Riku spoon feeding him as always.

An hour passes by and they head towards the bathroom to get ready for bed, planning to shower and bath before bedtime.

As always, Riku washes Yushi first, cleaning every inch of his skin and gently shampooing his pretty hair before rinsing him off. Unlike most cats, Yushi doesn't mind the daily shower, as long as Riku is the one doing it. If it was any other hybrids, they might only allow a shower every 2 or 3 days.

And then, Riku lets Yushi soak in the tub for a while, letting him play with a plastic ball before joining him. Their naked skins rub against each other as Yushi leans back against Riku, occasionally sharing kisses until Yushi feels drowsy.

At that time, Yushi sleepily climbs out of the tub and Riku wraps him in a towel, carrying him to bed.

“Yu-chan,” Riku whispers to his ear. “Are you sleepy?” He asks while rubbing lotion into his legs and arms since it gets dry easily. “Should we skip playtime tonight?”

Yushi’s ears perk up as he opens his eyes, slightly looking sleepy.

“No~ playtime!” Yushi whines, extending his arms out and grabbing Riku's shoulders, pulling him closer. “I wanna touch Riku!”

Yushi’s hands travel downwards as he caresses his biceps and toned stomach before eventually finding his dick.

“But you're sleepy,” Riku chuckles softly before letting Yushi touch his half hard dick, groaning when Yushi sloppily tugs it.

He stops talking by then and simply watches as Yushi goes down to lick it, feeling his blood rushing down to his dick.

His breathing gets heavy as he closes his eyes and enjoys the sensation.

He thinks he'll enjoy fucking his pretty kitty against the bed later on. Maybe he can get Yushi to react loudly again like last time.

**

When Friday arrives, Yushi is waiting impatiently in his hiding spot, looking forward to the 6 bentos that Riku will bring.

It's almost 6 pm so Riku will be home in about 30 minutes.

Yushi 17:47

Riku, where are you?

Riku 17:50

I'm still at work. I have to finish this last document and I'll leave after.

Yushi 17:51

Don't be late tonight.

You mustn't be late.

Yushi 18:15

Where are you now?

Yushi 18:18

Riku!! Why are you not answering? 😭

Yushi 18:20

Stupid Riku.

I hate Riku!

*crying gif*

Riku 18:40

Yu-chan, I'm sorry! I'm on the way now.

Don't be mad 😭

I'm bringing your 6 bentos!

Yushi 18:42

…

I'm hungry 🥺

Riku’s heart clenches at Yushi's words, feeling guilty for working so late tonight. He wasn't supposed to take this long, but his underling made a mistake so he had to fix that too.

Now, he's going to be an hour late because the trains are delayed and he knows that Yushi will be more upset once he's home.

So he can only wait impatiently until the train reaches his station.

By the time he gets home, he thinks how he'll have to coax Yushi out of his hiding spot again, maybe bribe him with something sweet. He feels the intense guilt as he types in the keycode, and opens the door.

He expects to see a dark room, or maybe one light being turned on. Instead, he sees Yushi standing in front of the door, facing him with a hard glare and standing in a fighting pose. As if his kitty wants to fight him.

“Yu-chan? What's wrong?” Riku asks, feeling perplexed.

“Who was it? I'll beat them to the ground! No one's stealing my Riku from me!” Yushi says in an upset tone, eyes starting to glaze with tears, and his fists are shaking as he holds them up.

“What are you talking about? No one's stealing me,” Riku tries to approach him, feeling worried.

“Liar!” Yushi smacks his hand away.

“I'm not! I swear I don't want any other cat but Yu-chan.”

“But you smell disgusting. You let someone else scent you!” Yushi cries out before letting his tears fall, looking adorably cute despite crying and sniffling in front of him.

His fighting stance falls apart as he sniffles and wipes his eyes, still glaring at Riku with his swollen eyes.

“I didn't! It must have been the hybrid standing next to me! He was standing too close because the train was full. But I swear I'd never let another cat or hybrid scent me,” Riku begs with a sorrowful tone, wishing he can hug Yushi and make him feel better.

Yushi sniffles again before asking his next question.

“... Am I prettier than him?” Yushi asks with a pout, still feeling competitive despite understanding the situation. He still wants Riku to not notice any other hybrids.

“Of course. The prettiest of all hybrids,” Riku says easily before approaching him again. “Can I hug my baby now?”

“Not until you take off your clothes,” Yushi says adamantly, wanting to burn that scent.

“Okay, but let me keep the cardigan. I'll dry clean it!” Riku says as he strips his clothes off after putting the food on the floor. He ends up standing half naked with just his black tank top and boxers, shivering as the A/C blasts quietly.

He watches as Yushi strips naked in front of him, realizing that Yushi needs to scent him all over again. The hybrid cat refuses to let that disgusting scent linger on his owner. It's why he kicks the dirty clothes away, hissing at it before hugging Riku tightly.

Riku can only chuckle as he kisses his pretty kitty, consoling him with many kisses and rubs.

“Yu-chan, I love you,” Riku whispers into his ear while rubbing his back, letting his kitty rub his scent onto him.

Yushi purrs at his words, swaying his tail, caressing Riku's legs and body.

Riku waits patiently as Yushi scents him thoroughly before reminding him of the 6 bentos that he brought.

“Food!” Yushi perks up at the mention, immediately pulling away and grabbing the plastic bag. He takes out the bentos before placing them on the table, spreading them out before opening each box.

“You can't sit naked on the chair,” Riku says as he chuckles. “Come. Sit on my lap while you eat,” he suggests, patting his thigh as he sits down.

Yushi obediently listens as he sits comfortably in Riku’s lap while choosing his favorite foods from the bentos. He eats with so much enthusiasm that Riku can’t help but watch with a smitten smile, wondering if he’ll ever be bored of this sight. He even lets Yushi feed him, too tired to create his own plate. 

And when a piece of food falls down and drips into Yushi’s body, Riku licks it off without permission, making the younger giggle from the ticklish sensation. Sometimes Yushi whines in sensitivity, telling him to stop teasing, but Riku simply grins triumphantly as Yushi's cock starts to harden.

By the time Yushi is done eating, Riku rubs Yushi's cute tummy and kisses his cheek, whispering “good job” as Yushi sighs in contentment, tail curling in happiness. His hand wanders down to Yushi’s thighs, caressing the soft skin as he asks questions about Yushi’s day.

He takes his time talking to Yushi, hearing about his new game, and how he wasted an hour defeating a level. He can tell that Yushi loves this game, and he starts to feel a little jealous that Yushi’s attention isn’t on him during the day anymore.

“It sounds like you had fun without me,” Riku says with a small pout.

“Just a little,” Yushi admits. “But I still like Riku the most.”

“Really?” Riku asks with a soft gaze. “I’m still your number one?”

“Yes!” Yushi exclaims.

Riku can’t help but laugh at his enthusiastic answer.

A short silence falls between them as Riku keeps caressing his thigh and Yushi leans his body against Riku’s chest.

“Riku… Can we move to an island one day?” Yushi asks all of a sudden.

“Island?” Riku asks with a disbelief laugh. “Why?”

“So there won’t be other hybrids… or people!”

“That’s impossible,” Riku laughs at his suggestion.

Yushi pouts at his words, feeling sad that they can’t hide away in their own little paradise.

“But we can move to a smaller city one day,” Riku suggests while squeezing Yushi’s thigh consolingly. “Like Fukui! It’s much quieter and there are less hybrids there,” Riku says excitedly.

“Really? Can we move there next weekend?” Yushi asks with a hopeful tone.

“That’s too fast,” Riku chuckles. “I need to save money first,” he reminds his kitty, kissing his cheek.

Yushi pouts in reaction, huffing softly.

“But I promise, one day we can,” Riku says consolingly.

Yushi nods silently, hugging Riku for comfort. He can only hope that his dream will be fulfilled soon.

Chapter Text

2028

When Riku first suggested it, he was ready for the rejection, or possibly, Yushi breaking up with him. Simply because it was a selfish wish.

“I want to adopt a baby one day,” Riku said courageously, keeping eye contact for a few seconds before faltering and looking down at his lap.

He clenched his fists nervously, impatiently waiting for Yushi's reply. His body felt tense as he waited for that rejection, already imagining how he'd cry tonight and be completely depressed because of another failed relationship. Yet, Yushi never said it.

“Okay,” the younger one said softly.

So softly that Riku jerked his head upward, almost pulling a muscle by accident.

He wasn't sure if heard it right.

“Okay?” Riku asked again, sounding scared and unsure.

“Okay,” Yushi repeated. “... But just one!” The younger one immediately followed. “I refuse to share you with more people,” he said while slightly pouting.

“... Really?” Riku couldn't help but ask, eyes tearing up at Yushi's reply.

And Yushi nodded in reply.

Riku couldn't understand why the younger one agreed. It felt like a hazy dream, one that was full of happiness, but it's real. Yushi really said ‘yes’ to his request.

He felt loved and giddily happy, and he thought about how he could shout his excitement to the world. But most of all, he thought about how lucky he was, how he found the sweetest guy in this world to love.

And it made him want to profess his love publicly. Simply because his Yu-chan deserved more than just a ‘thank you’.

“I love you,” he said so softly and intensely, eyes unwavering as they stared at each other.

Yushi blushed in reaction and looked away, scratching his arm as his ears turned unbelievably red.

“Why are you saying that here…” the younger muttered in embarrassment, unable to say it back, let alone stare at Riku again.

Riku could only smile at his reaction before grabbing his hand, squeezing it tightly in reassurance.

**

2030

Two years passed since that fateful conversation, and now they have adopted a baby boy from Fukui, Riku's hometown. At first, they were looking in Tokyo, simply because there were more choices from the capital city, but then an earthquake struck west of Japan and there were many victims from that tragedy. In the end, they adopted an orphan baby after his parents tragically passed away.

Takashi was 6 months old when they adopted him, and he was a clingy baby, unwilling to be left alone for longer than a few minutes. He preferred to be held constantly, and Riku kept following the child’s whims, unable to say ‘no’. It took Yushi a few weeks to get used to it, sharing Riku's attention, and bonding with a baby who didn't really like him at first. It didn't help that Takashi has a similar skin tone as Riku's, causing strangers to assume that they're biologically related. Yushi would constantly feel annoyed by their assumptions, hating them for thinking that Riku would create a child with some girl, but he eventually learned to let go after Riku coaxed him to ignore them.

As time passed, Takashi ended up growing attached to Yushi, often following Yushi around like a baby duck following his mother. Riku felt jealous by their closeness, secretly wanting to be their child’s favorite, but he also felt glad that Yushi was finally close to their child, enjoying how cute they look together.

Now, Takashi is a year old, and a rather hyperactive child, often running off without a warning. He explores with too much curiosity, and Yushi will often find him staring at something for the longest time before forcing him to move.

He finds Takashi’s curiosity to be amusing so he often brings him to a nearby playground, or to check out new destinations together. They'll waste hours exploring before sitting tiredly on the bench, waiting for Riku to pick them up. Then they'll eat dinner together, conversing about their day before heading home.

At night time, Riku tucks Takashi into bed and kisses his forehead sweetly before tiredly resting on the couch, cuddling against Yushi. Sometimes, they'll head to bed silently, simply enjoying each other's presence before holding each other again as they sleep. And sometimes, they will have enough energy to make out, groping each other impatiently before pulling off each other’s clothes.

But tonight is one of their slow nights, too tired to do anything more than short kisses. Riku grabs Yushi by the waist and pulls him into his lap, forcing him to sit on him as the elder sits on the couch. He lays his chin on Yushi's shoulder.

“Tired,” Riku says softly, closing his eyes.

“Bad day?” Yushi asks quietly.

“Yes,” Riku whines before burrowing his face into Yushi's shoulder. “I want to quit and stay home with you and Taka-chan.”

“Then quit,” Yushi agrees too easily. “I’ll feed you and our baby.”

“No~” Riku whines. “I can't make Yu-chan do everything,” he says after lifting his head up. “I'll suck it up and suffer for Taka-chan.”

“And for me also,” Yushi reminds him, never wanting to be left out.

“Mhm,” Riku confirms, nuzzling his face into the shoulder again.

“Come on. I'll tuck you into bed,” Yushi pats Riku's arm, the one that's holding him still. He's reminding him to not sleep on the couch tonight.

He slowly pulls away from Riku's embrace and stands up, grabbing his hand and pulling the elder to stand up too. He beckons him to follow him to their bedroom.

Riku whines softly as he walks, feeling the exhaustion heavy on his body. He lets Yushi change his clothes before slipping inside the bed, hugging the pillow and nuzzling it.

Yushi caresses his hair and soothes him to sleep, wrapping the blanket around the elder’s body. He kisses the cheek and whispers ‘good night’, hoping that Riku will feel better the next day.

**

A few days pass by and Riku’s mood slowly improves as his work deadlines begin to lessen. It gives him time to come home earlier, and he’s able to spend his night playing with his son, rather than passing out from exhaustion.

Soon, the weekend arrives and Riku wakes up earlier than usual, feeling his energy level return to normal. With nothing else troubling his mind, he feels his libido returning and dirty thoughts start to occupy his mind. He's unable to hide the morning erection that forms today. After all, even though he’s a father now, it doesn't mean that he'll stop being horny and not want sex anymore.

He thinks it's kind of unfair that he has to be horny during their busy Saturday, a day planned for their beach outing.

So he groans softly against the pillow, pressing his erection against the bed while thinking of boring thoughts, thinking he can get rid of it. Unfortunately, it refuses to go down so he ends up taking his cock out from his sleeping pants, playing with the head and thumbing the slit. He hopes that he can ejaculate within half an hour, so he's not left hanging blue balled the whole day.

He begins to imagine Yushi in different positions, imagining about the time he fucked him raw in the car after their date. He even imagines Yushi in that nurse costume, the one time that the younger wore as a joke, but it completely turned him on. He starts to tug it faster, breathing heavily before feeling the throes of his climax, grunting as it approaches and spilling his cum into his hand.

“Are you done?” Yushi's voice breaks his concentration.

Riku immediately opens his eyes, surprised to see Yushi staring at him with a pout.

“Yu-chan!” Riku immediately says, feeling embarrassed being caught by him. His ears feel red for being so horny this morning.

“That's not fair. You owe me sex tonight,” Yushi complains before getting off the bed in a huff, feeling annoyed that Riku didn't ask him for his help.

“Yu-chan! I didn't want to wake you!”

Yushi still leaves in an angry mood, huffing as he prepares breakfast for everyone. Riku quickly washes his hands before running off after him, not wanting his husband to stay mad too long.

He tries to kiss Yushi's cheek, or coaxes him into a hug, but Yushi pushes him away in annoyance, childishly holding onto his grudge. Later, the younger one heads to Takashi's room and picks him up from the crib, kissing his cheek as a greeting.

They spend the morning in silence as they eat breakfast, barely conversing, and it causes Riku to simmer in guilt as he waits for Yushi's anger to die down. He knows that Yushi will keep holding onto his grudge until lunch time, so he can only sigh silently.

Despite their silly fight, they still plan to go to the beach, packing a light picnic and some warm clothes in case it gets windy. Summer hasn't completely arrived yet, but it's the perfect weather to walk along the beach, and Takashi seems to love water these days.

The drive is about half an hour away, and Takashi is excitedly kicking in his car seat, blowing bubbles with his spit.

“Let’s see the beach today,” Riku says to Takashi in a funny tone as he buckles him into the chair. “What else does Taka-chan want to see today? Some fishes? A sand castle?”

Riku grins at his son’s expression, finding him too cute. He squishes Takashi’s cheeks out of cute aggression, giggling when Takashi whines in reaction.

Yushi simply watches from the driver's mirror, smiling secretly at their interaction.

“Okay, let's go,” Riku declares before gently closing the door.

He opens the driver’s door and sits comfortably before turning on the car. In the meantime, Yushi sets up the GPS since Riku is hopeless with technology, and they head towards the beach.

The playlist starts to play as Riku exits the driveway, and Yushi hums to the familiar song. It’s full of old songs, songs that remind him of his dating days, the time when he and Yushi used to travel using his car. Memories that were formed, and not completely forgotten.

And it's the kind of songs that always makes Yushi sing along, smiling as the younger follows the lyrics and holding his laughter when the younger tries to rap a difficult song.

Takashi seems to love it even more, always quiet and listening to his papa’s voice, even when Yushi messes up.

And when Riku's favorite song comes on, Yushi stares at him expectantly to sing, waiting for the elder to sing too.

“Am I forgiven then?” Riku asks teasingly, giggling when Yushi glares in reply.

He eventually sings his song, ignoring if he goes off key as he sings his heart out.

And eventually, Yushi allows Riku to grab his hand again, signaling the end of their silly fight.

**

“Taka-chan!” Riku yells for the fifth time, feeling his heart jump out every time Takashi decides to run into the water.

He swears that his kid is secretly suicidal or something because he keeps running into water, despite Riku telling him that the water is dangerous. He just won't listen.

Ugh. Why did he think that raising a kid would be a good idea again?

He bemoans his past decisions as he picks up his son from the wet sand, straddling him in his waist before the cold water can touch the little boy's feet.

“It's dangerous and it's cold,” Riku says with an exasperated tone. “Let’s go back to Papa,” he says firmly, ignoring Takashi's whining and crying. He walks towards where Yushi is sitting. “Look! Papa has food! And jelly!”

“Jelly is for after lunch,” Yushi reminds him as Riku sets down their son near their picnic blanket.

Luckily, Takashi seems interested in the food as he tries to grab the sliced bananas.

“Wash hands first!” Riku reminds his son, grabbing him quickly to make him sit on his lap before applying hand sanitizer on his little hands.

“Are you eating now or later?” Yushi asks Riku as he prepares a plate for Takashi and gives it to Riku.

“Later. You should eat first,” Riku tells him as he takes the plate and helps Takashi eat.

Takashi will stop squirming since Riku is there to hold him on his lap. The little boy likes being held after all.

In his plate, Yushi has given him small pieces of chicken and banana to eat, his favorite kinds of foods. So Takashi grabs the pieces impatiently and chews it fervently, causing his cheeks to get messy from food. And when he's full, Yushi takes Takashi for a walk so Riku can eat his lunch.

He brings him to the small walking path, where Takashi is able to run around without worrying about the dangerous water.

As he follows Takashi around while occasionally taking photos of him, Riku eventually joins them, wrapping his arms around Yushi's waist, hugging him from behind.

They can hear their son babbling as he stands a few feet away.

“Lunch was good. Thank you,” Riku says to him, hugging him again.

“It wasn't hard,” Yushi mutters, always feeling a little shy when Riku compliments him.

“It was still yummy,” Riku insists. “You're always so good with your hands. Who’d have thought you'd be good at cooking now?”

Yushi huffs, trying to elbow his annoying husband, but Riku is strong enough to keep him still, kissing his cheek to calm him down.

“Yu-chan, don't be mad~” Riku says teasingly.

Takashi turns around and notices his parents standing there before running off towards them, giggling his heart out.

“Taka-chan, slow…” Riku tries to warn his son, but it's too late.

Takashi suddenly falls on the ground on his front, making a loud thud sound as he falls.

Riku expects him to cry, ready to pick him up and coddle him, but Yushi stops him, grabbing his arm.

“Wait…” Yushi tells him.

They watch as Takashi stands up while whining, but he's not crying yet.

Unlike Riku, Yushi thinks Takashi is a resilient little boy. In fact, he doubts that their son needs that much coddling, but he knows that Riku just likes to spoil him.

It's why he waits, checking to see if Takashi can stand up by himself, and only offering his help when the younger boy cries from his injury.

And unfortunately, today, Takashi isn't able to ignore the pain as he suddenly cries, asking for his papa.

“Nooo it's okay. Don't cry,” Riku immediately says as he runs off to pick up Takashi from the ground.

Unfortunately, Takashi doesn't want him as he swats him away, making grabby hands at his Papa.

“Not me?” Riku asks with a broken hearted tone.

“Papa,” Takashi wails as he waits for his Papa to pick him up.

“Yes, yes,” Yushi tells him as he approaches him before picking him up. “Does it hurt? Are you bleeding?” he asks worriedly.

He lets Riku check their son as Takashi sniffles and whines into Yushi's collarbone, burrowing his face into it.

“No bleeding,” Riku reports before kissing his son’s head.

“See, you're all good,” Yushi says to Takashi, rubbing his back to console him. “You're just tired. It's almost nap time!”

Takashi whines in reply.

“Let's go home and you can nap in the car,” Yushi tells him.

“I'll go clean up our picnic blanket then,” Riku tells him before going back to their resting area.

Yushi follows him from behind at a slower pace, humming a song so Takashi will calm down.

Soon they walk back to their car and pack up their stuff. Yushi puts a sleepy Takashi into the car seat and buckles him in while Riku loads up the trunk.

They depart a few minutes later, and a new playlist is being played in the background. This time, it's full of slow and moody songs, ones that will help Takashi fall into a deep slumber.

Yushi hums along as Riku drives them home, grabbing the elder’s hand along the way. Riku squeezes it back, feeling happy about today.

**

Despite knowing how reckless it is, Riku can't help himself. Not when Yushi started stripping in front of him, taking off his shirt and pants without a moment's warning.

It's so reckless to have sex in the living room, a few steps away from their son’s room, but maybe it's the idea of being heard that makes it more delicious.

Especially when Yushi is just impatient to have Riku inside him, tugging the elder’s cock without warning and slicking it with lube. Riku can only moan against his mouth excitedly.

“Hurry,” Yushi whispers to his mouth.

“Fuck… Wait…” Riku pants as he forces Yushi to lay down and spreads his legs, staring at the tantalizing pink hole. He touches it excitedly, rubbing the entrance with his finger before forcing it in. It's too dry to play with his inside so he impatiently drops too much lube on it, but Yushi doesn't mind it as he rocks against the finger, helping Riku stretch him.

As much as he loves their domestic life, he sometimes miss this, being able to fuck Yushi anywhere without a worry. So he thinks he'll enjoy today tremendously as if they're still that young couple.

He adds another finger and stretches it quickly, scraping against the wall and tugging Yushi's cock to help the younger one relax. It's been more than a week since their last time so Riku tries to take his time, but Yushi has been quite impatient today.

“Stop it,” Yushi whines softly. “Just put it in.”

“It's going to hurt,” Riku reminds him.

“It's fine,” Yushi insists as he sits up and climbs onto Riku's lap. “I like being sore. It lets me boss you around,” Yushi says cheekily before kissing him to shut him up.

Their tongues tangle as Yushi grabs his cock, aiming the tip towards his hole. He rubs the head against the entrance, slowly sliding it in as he finds the right angle, groaning as Riku nibbles against his lower lips.

He gasps as the length fills him slowly, and the stretch becomes too much, causing his leg muscles to wobble a little.

“Slowly,” Riku reminds him as Yushi rocks against the length, panting against Riku's lips. “Good?”

“More,” Yushi demands.

“So bossy,” Riku comments before helping Yushi rise a little and letting the younger decide the pace.

Yushi can easily cum like this, just rocking against the cock and grinding the head against his prostate as usual. But he wants Riku to fuck him hard against the couch and make him claw in oversensitivity.

“M..more. Just fuck me against the couch,” Yushi demands again, tugging Riku's hair.

“You don't want to ride me today?” Riku teases before complying with his husband's request. He slowly helps Yushi lay down, groaning as he thrusts his cock impulsively.

Yushi moans loudly, causing Riku to cover his mouth before thrusting again and lifting a leg into the crook of his elbow. He parts the legs and aims in a different angle, remembering how much Yushi liked this position last time.

“Not so loud,” Riku pants as he thrusts repeatedly, ignoring the loud sound of skin slapping against each other nor the whimpers from Yushi's mouth.

It feels so tight and warm inside Yushi, and he can feel himself losing the rationality to stay calm, simply enjoying being able to fuck his husband again.

That's how he ends up grunting and gripping Yushi's hips tightly, jabbing inside and aiming for the sensitive walls that makes Yushi moan into his hand. He barely notices how the younger's legs keep writhing against him, or how feet flex every time he gets too rough.

He keeps going even when Yushi ejaculates suddenly, spraying his cum against his body. It makes Riku lick the traces of cum off Yushi's nipple, loving the way the younger man moans too loudly.

Sensitive – Yushi can only whine silently when Riku licks the bud, tugging it between his lips.

The elder keeps thrusting despite it, aiming for that approaching climax as he feels Yushi's hole begin to tighten and squeeze him.

Close… – Riku breathlessly thinks as he feels the tug of climax.

“Inside,” Yushi whimpers, wrapping his arms around Riku.

And it only takes a few more thrusts before Riku ejaculates deep within Yushi, groaning into his ear and letting the younger wrap his legs around him. It shoots in a few bursts, filling the younger's hole to the brim.

Yushi refuses to let go of Riku, even when he can feel the heaviness of Riku's body on top of him.

Luckily, Riku doesn't mind it. He tries to lay on his side so he can stare at Yushi’s pretty face as their hearts and bodies start to calm down. Soon, he'll have to clean up the mess, but for now, he'll simply cuddle with his cute husband.