Chapter Text

Could this road get any longer? I just want to go home. Maybe if I was a little stronger… The truth is, my back’s against the wall. The way that I’ve been going is out of my control. You’re the one who won’t give up on me, what do you see? I can’t erase the past, my demons will protect it. See, my head and heart have never felt connected. Is there no way out? I don’t know why you take me as I am. Please help me make amends. Nobody sees me like you do, please help me to survive. The only one who ever really cared for me, or helped me feel alive. Can I right the wrongs and still protect you? I wish I could take back all those I’ve affected.

— Divide & Chewie Catt (No Way Out)

1. No Way Out

The Grasslands were peaceful. 

Until they weren’t.

They were being chased by ShinRa of all things. Nothing would ever be peaceful with them so close to their fleeing feet. 

They didn’t exactly know where they were, just that the direction was away from the carriers hovering over Kalm. Where they belonged. They just had to hope the cover of trees would help disguise their location until they found a place they could rest. Cloud could physically see the toll it was taking on Barret to keep running for as long as they had been, which was why he headed for the trees in the first place.

He needed to stop completely when the edges of his vision flared painfully green. He could barely hear Barret sigh in relief at him stopping, Red’s claws clicking against stone. Not only that, but he could barely feel Tifa at his side. From where she was, he knew she would be saying something. Whatever it was, was lost in the tinge of green that flared his vision completely. 

“—Cloud?” Tifa’s voice finally broke through in concern. 

With it, the flare up lessened, and he straightened out, his senses going haywire. 

Something about the forest was different, and he couldn’t tell what, or if it was dangerous. 

Just…different. 

He scanned the area, and felt his brow frown when there was nothing that shouted different, or wrong. Cloud looked at Tifa, who looked worried, but he could assume with her looking at him, her concern was at him, not at the forest. 

She didn’t need to be concerned, he wasn’t worth it.

The air suddenly shifted, causing not just Cloud to jump back and have hands on weapons, when suddenly there appeared a summoning circle, very much similar to when the deities were at hand.

But no one had summoned them, or had the means to at that moment with how exhausted they all were.

Cloud barely heard Aerith’s confused hum as he backed up, one hand on his Buster sword.

“What in the hell!?” Barret cursed loudly as Red started to growl warningly.

They all paused when not a deity was summoned, but an unfamiliar sword was thrown through it, its tip stabbing into the ground, violently shaking it in contact with its thrown weight. Then not a second later was a black-clad man thrown after it. He barely caught himself around the handle in a circle to come to a stand still. His boots scuffing the dirt as he landed.

“What the fuck.” The man gasped out in pain. He then squawked in panic when a child was thrown through the portal, and he rushed to break their fall. “Denzel?!” He asked as he shifted the child so that his head was on his shoulder. No response. 

Then came another black-clad woman who looked like she tripped through the portal as an afterthought. 

“Tifa!” The man yelled in worry. 

But not to Tifa, but to the woman now colliding into his side.

The woman hummed in pain against his singular pauldron. 

“Ow.” She muttered. 

“Tifa?” He asked again, worry painting his tone.

The man didn’t seem perturbed at holding up the weight of the child, and that of the woman he insisted on calling Tifa.

“I’m alright…” She answered, then baulked. “Denzel!” She cried in panic, moving away. 

“He’s down, but I can feel him breathing.” He answered calmly. 

She sighed in relief.

They all stalled in panic when he took them all in, they realised this blonde man’s blue eyes were mako-infused. 

Seeing them, he also stalled, staring.

Then frowned at them, in which his head tilted slightly, in such a familiar fashion, it gave nearly all of them whiplash. 

“Tifa.” He called. 

The woman turned to him, humming in assent. “Cloud.” She called back, hearing something in his tone they hadn’t.

This man was who!?

“Can you…?” He asked, not stopping his staring. She looked and blinked in amazement. “See them, or am I flashing…?” He asked in concern.

They watched her as she placed her hand on one arm, just under a pink ribbon tied in a bow.

“No, I see them too.” She answered, then looked around. “We’re not at Edge.” She added. 

Then his eyes hardened in determination.

“How…?” She questioned. 

They watched as the man froze, and his eyes swept the little alcove, taking apart every tree, every stone and leaf in a second as he tried to figure out where they were. 

“Tifa.” He said again, and she looked back at him. “Can you take Denzel? I need to do something.” He grimaced. “He might be a little too heavy for you…?” He muttered. “Sit?” He added quietly. 

“I’ve held him before.” She amended. 

He blinked but shifted the child over gently, making sure his head didn’t move around. 

“What do you need to do?” She asked.

“Need to check where we are. I’m not sure...” He tried to explain, stalling when words failed him. 

Concern broke out on her face. “Are you alright?” Her immediate response was. 

He shrugged. “Not flashing.” He added. 

Then he jumped. Upwards. With no help, over the tallest trees in seconds, until he was just a speck of black in the sky.

The woman sighed in concern. Worry was painted all over her face. 

“What the fuck.” Barret was the first to immediately spit out.

It caused her to grin immediately. 

“Hello to you too, Barret.” She answered, much to their confusion.

“How are you here?” Aerith was the more sane one to question.

The woman paused to stare at her in amazement. She blinked, then looked up. “I’m hoping Cloud knows. I think I was just there by accident.” She added. 

She was calling the man that came with her Cloud.

And he was calling her, Tifa.

It was bringing back Cloud’s green tinged migraine. That’s for sure. 

He must have grimaced or something, because he now had her concern as well as Tifa’s. 

She was stalled from asking when the child brought with them stirred and groaned in pain.

“Denzel?” She questioned instead, quietly. 

“Mom?” He asked through the pain he was feeling. 

The singular word made them all, especially Tifa, freeze in awe. 

This older version of Tifa was a mother?! 

“I’m here, are you alright?” Mom Tifa asked, sounding miffed for some reason. 

Denzel hummed, then shouted in panic. “Dad!” He screeched in panic, hazel hair flying as he moved in her arms.

His mako enhanced eyes staring at her in panic. “Where!” He added. 

Mom Tifa blinked. “Cloud…is finding out where we are.” She answered hesitantly. 

Cloud was what?!

Denzel blinked, then looked up. “Oh.” He said in relief. He could tell they were in a different spot than before. “Marlene?” He asked. 

“Back at Edge.” She answered calmly. 

The boy nodded, in relief. 

Suddenly, the adult version of Cloud was slamming back down into the very spot he left five minutes prior. 

“Dad!” Denzel called.

The man froze, then looked at him. “Denzel.” He answered, relief colouring his tone, taking a step or two and easily removing the kid from Mom Tifa’s arms. The women’s shoulders sank in relief of the weight. 

Barret easily saw that this adult Cloud put this kid on his hip easily as he did with Marlene.

“Too close.” He said. 

That gave everyone pause. 

Mom Tifa blinked. “Too close to what?” She asked. 

“Kalm. I saw Relnikhas carriers.” Adult Cloud clipped in response. 

Mom Tifa blinked in alarm. 

They flinched when his enhanced eyes took them in, seeing much in their body language, and in their weapons. 

“Whoa!” Denzel said in awe, finally seeing them. “This is straight out of your stories about your adventures.” He said as he pointed. 

Tifa saw the little flinch around the older version of Cloud’s eyes, then paused when he took her in completely. 

“How long ago was it that you found him at the train station?” He asked.

Tifa blinked and took a second, silently amazed that this version of Cloud was asking for the information. “About three weeks ago.” She answered. 

This caused Mom Tifa to flinch. 

“Too soon.” He muttered. 

Before they could question that remark, they froze in panic when they saw his face wander and his eyes lock onto something, when they looked, it wasn’t on something they could see. 

The glow in his eyes glittered rapidly as the skin around his eyes flinched several times.

“Cloud!” Mom Tifa called in panic, putting her hand on his arm again, Denzel squawked as he was rocked from the movement. 

He blinked then looked at her. 

“Cloud? What did you see?” She asked in panic.

He blinked again. “Nothing.” He answered. His answer got a warning glare in response. “Just a warning. We need to leave.” He answered calmly.

“Leave to where…?!” She demanded, her tone hauntingly in fear.

His head tilted in confusion to her remark, before he understood. “Not to the Northern Crater. Not that kind of leaving. Just away from ShinRa.” He answered. 

Whatever that meant, she relaxed at it. 

Then he was looking away. “Nanaki.” He was looking at Red, who jolted at the name. “Can you smell the Remnants?” He asked. 

Red stared. 

Mom Tifa flinched.

“Remnants?” Barret questioned in confusion. 

Adult Cloud blinked. “Too early.” He grumbled in annoyance. “The men in black robes.” He elaborated. 

Red nodded, once he understood. “They come from Kalm,” He pointed his nose in the direction of Kalm, then moved to the west. “And heading that way.” He answered. 

“Junon…” He muttered. “Away from Junon for the moment, then.” He added. He then looked at Denzel. “I don’t have Fenrir here, will you be alright to walk?” He asked in concern. “I can carry you—” 

“Nope! I’m good to walk by myself!” He yelled in embarrassment. 

It caused the man to smile gently. “Alright.” He said calmly and easily put the child down. 

Once Denzel was on his feet, he was off. 

“This is so cool!” He crowed in awe.

“Careful.” Adult Cloud muttered in worry. 

Denzel blinked. “Oh. Right.” He said, then bounded close enough to take his hand. “Which way?” He asked easily. 

Adult Cloud pointed southwards. “That way. Keep close.” He warned. 

Denzel nodded, they all saw the several tugs the child made on his hand before letting go, immediately interested in chasing the rabbits that were close by.

“How are we here, Cloud?” Mom Tifa was asking. 

The question got him looking them over, pausing at Aerith and himself for longer than everyone else before he looked back at her. 

“Can’t say. You’re not gonna like it.” He answered, warningly. 

Either the way he said it, or how little he said, had her confused. 

“And why’s that?” She questioned curiously as he started to walk after Denzel, she kept pace easily. Adult Cloud easily pulled the sword out of the ground and placed it into one of his many lower back sword holsters.

They were all helpless to follow, eager to get away from ShinRa. If he knew where to go, hell, they’d follow.

He paused and gestured to himself. 

“Sword.” He muttered.

It was like he was trying to be quiet, but no matter how quiet he said it, green tinged pain flared up his chest.

“See. Too early.” Adult Cloud said. She looked as if she understood. Then he looked as if he had an idea. “Do you have the ingredients for the potion for my flashes?” He asked, suddenly. 

Mom Tifa blinked, then checked her pockets. “Yes. Why?” She grew concerned. “Is being here too much?” She asked, worriedly. 

He shook his head. “I’m fine as long as you kinda don’t leave me hanging, and Denzel stays in my eyesight. But he—” he gestured to his younger version. “—Is going to need it, if I explain anything, because I might as well start at the beginning, and I remember how much pain I was in.” He answered.

He glared at Barret when he saw the snickering the man was about to do. “Stow it.” He demanded while Mom Tifa ruffled around in her pockets. Then she was pouring several things into a vial, and shaking it with familial ease. The bottle was similar to the ones that held potions.

He hummed thoughtfully. “Give it to Tifa for him to take. He won’t take it otherwise, currently.” He muttered, before looking back to see where Denzel was. 

Mom Tifa seemed to understand the reason behind the instruction, nodded, then gave the vial to her younger self. 

“What is this?” Tifa was asking quietly. 

“He’s in pain. He won’t tell you, but he is. It’s like a cleanser, chest up. Gloves off.” Mum Tifa answered quietly. 

That was all she needed to say for Tifa to nod, take the vial and then tap Cloud, who looked disconnected. “Cloud?” She questioned, at her voice, he blinked and looked at her.

She realised he had been floating. “Here.” She said softly. “I want you to take it.” She ordered. 

Cloud nodded, and without question took the vial easily, then looked at her for directions, seeing as it wasn’t breakable glass.

“Gloves off,” She reiterated her own directions. She was amazed he was letting her get so close, and allowing her to direct him. Amazingly, his gloves came off. “Pour it into your hand, then rub them together, upper chest, back, neck, face.” She continued. 

Blinked in amazement when he followed along.

“Catch him.” She barely heard Adult Cloud comment when her Cloud stumbled in pain. 

“Tifa.” He muttered distantly. 

Tifa immediately stepped closer, and his head landed on her shoulder.

She looked up to her older version, and noted the sad expression on her face. Was this the new normal?

“That hurt.” She heard Cloud mumble into her neck.

“Are you feeling better?” She questioned. 

He hummed. “No green.” He muttered tiredly.

Was his mako poisoning that bad? Maybe she should compare notes on his eyes to the adult version. She saw the mako in Denzel’s eyes. Perhaps it could be passed down? He was calling Cloud his father.

Cloud pulled back once the world stopped spinning. 

He mutely gave the vial back, glad he hadn’t broken it when he lost consciousness for a second. 

He saw the grateful smile it put on Tifa’s face, so all was well in his books. Not only that, but he saw she gave it back to the taller version of Tifa. 

Huh. Both were Tifa. Alright then. And both were real. Not just he could see her. He looked to the other version of himself. He seemed to carry himself better than he did. Fair. He’d learn. He was good at that.

“Dad!” Denzel called happily, bounding back to them. “Look!” He added, showing a large yellow feather to them. 

“Where we’re going.” Adult Cloud said. 

Denzel absolutely grinned. “We’re seeing chocobos!?” He screeched in joy.

“Surprise.” Adult Cloud summed up easily. 

Mom Tifa clicked her tongue happily. “You withdrew so he could find out for himself.” She said in humour. 

“Caught me.” Adult Cloud said with a grin.

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!” Denzel was yelling, racing forward to tug on his hand. “I’ll definitely tell Marlene about this! She’s gonna be so jealous!” Denzel crowed happily.

Adult Cloud let the child pull his hand in his excitement, they all noted. They all knew the man could pull away. But it looked like he didn’t want to.

“Which way, which way, which way!” Denzel was questioning eagerly. 

It caused the older version of Cloud to actually chuckle, not something they had heard before. “Alright, alright,” He said as he patted the child on the head with his spare hand. “That way, just follow the tracks in the mud.” He answered. 

“‘Kay!” The child said happily, and immediately zoomed off. 

Once the child was out of earshot, the man grumbled in annoyance. 

“This is definitely payback for something I did as a child. I’m sure of it.” He muttered in good nature. 

Mom Tifa laughed happily and loudly. “I’m sure you could pick something you did!” She chortled. 

He playfully glared back at her. “Rude.” He muttered, without any distaste, it only served to make her laugh harder.

Chapter Text

I can see you standing there, honey. Laughin’, but the joke’s not funny at all. It took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it, holding all this love out here in the hall. I can see you staring there, honey. Like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me. Second, third, and hundredth chances. Balancin’ on breaking branches. Those eyes add insult to injury. All this time we always walked a very thin line, you didn’t even hear me out, you gave so many signs. I’m in exile, seein’ you out. I think I’ve seen this film before,
and I didn’t like the ending.

— Ria Arora (Exile)

2. Exile

They were led into a clearing by a very enthusiastic child. 

How this child was biologically Cloud’s they didn’t know. 

He had more energy than Cloud looked like he ever wanted to use in his smallest finger.

They all saw the tension bled out from the older version of Cloud’s shoulders at every step they made in the direction of the yellow birds. It was further away from Kalm. 

Denzel was zooming around without much of a care, but they saw the kid noting where his caregivers were every so often, like children did. Before he went back to being awed over how tall the birds were compared to him.

Tifa noted the weight lifted from her Cloud’s face and shoulders. She would need to make a note of the ingredients and ratios used to keep on hand, especially if it helped him.

They noted that with their attention on their kid’s enthusiasm, it left them to talk to the owner, and then his grandson, about the chocobos. 

Because naturally they didn’t have any on hand, and the only spare herd around had run off.

Cloud sighed exhaustedly about the idea of even tracking down the bird. Where did he start, exactly?

“Dad!” He was pulled out of thinking as the child that wasn’t his, ran past him, nearly into him. “Oh. Sorry!” He apologised when he realised he nearly ran into him.

Cloud could only blink, but before he could respond, the kid zoomed off. 

How was this his kid? Not like him at all.

He watched as Denzel ran over to the version of him that was his father, bounding on his toes when he stopped in front of him. 

Cloud could see the amused grin and glint in his eyes from the opposite end of the barn. Loud. 

“Yeah?” Adult Cloud asked, barely hiding his amusement. 

“Can I ride one?!” Denzel pleaded. 

“We’d have to find them first.” He noted with mirth clinging to every pore of him.

Denzel tilted his head. “You don’t remember where they went to? You’ve done this before!” Denzel cried out in indignation. 

“Wow. Cornered and beaten. Rude.” Adult Cloud commented. 

Denzel whooped at the statement, then ran out of the barn. “Chocobo riding!” He yelled.

Again, once the child was out of earshot, the older version of Cloud sighed in vexation. 

“What did I ever do wrong as a child? I swear.” He grumbled. 

Mom Tifa snorted happily. “Are we staying here for a while?” She questioned. 

Adult Cloud shrugged. “Unless you want to stay the night in the barn, I figured by the time I wrangle both the chocobo herd and Denzel, ShinRa will have moved on from Kalm.” He noted as Denzel chased Red in circles. “But maybe he’ll run out of energy, and we’ll need to stay here for the night before going to the inn. He won’t let me live it down if I carry him the entire way.” He amended, seeing the chaos being caused outside. 

“In the barn?” Mom Tifa asked, miffed.

Adult Cloud shrugged. “We’ve slept in worse places. You raised chocobos when we were kids, surely you slept in the barns.” He defended.

She laughed at the idea. “I did, sure. You, on the other hand, never took five steps towards the Lockhart stables.” She answered. She didn’t see them looking backwards and forth as they bantered happily.

“Yeah, because your dad wouldn’t let me.” Adult Cloud said with annoyance, starting to walk out of the barn.

Mom Tifa paused in confusion, before rebooting and racing after him. “Whoa! Whoa!” She called, running around him, putting her hands on his chest to make him stop. “That’s a new one! Explain!” She ordered as the rest rushed up to hear. 

Adult Cloud stopped when she put herself in front of him, his head tilted in confusion. 

“Doesn’t need explaining. It wasn’t hard to read, or hear, that he didn’t like me at all, Tifa.” He amended. 

She blinked. It was news to her, as it was to everyone else in hearing range. 

“Falling from Mount. Nibel? Yeah, that totally made it worse.” He scoffed sarcastically. 

“Hey, no.” She scolded. “You tried to catch me, while everyone else ran off. You were hurt as well. Why did that make it worse?” She asked. 

He sighed. “They didn’t believe me that I wasn’t there to push you.” He muttered, ignorant to everyone else around him listening in.

“Why didn’t you say something?” She asked gently. 

“To you? He wouldn’t let me get close enough to even see if you were alright after the fall, or anytime after that. To anyone else, they just glared if I so much as opened my mouth. So, I stayed away. But I kept an eye on you as much as I could, in case you decided to go back up there.” He told her. 

“Until you left.” She amended sadly. 

He shrugged. “Wasn’t much help to you when I couldn’t stand up to the adults.” He offered with a singular shrug. 

She looked him over. “I didn’t care, you know.” She said softly. 

He stared at her. Then hummed. 

She, and them, knew the conversation was over when he looked away to find Denzel.

Mom Tifa looked visibly upset that he dropped the conversation, but kept pace.

“Later.” He told her quietly.

They were told to look for tracks. Then what they needed to do to get them back.

It sounded like a downright hassle Cloud didn’t want to deal with.

He was too tired for this. Everything they were saying was and wasn’t contradicting everything he knew.

Looking at the kid doing zoomies like he was making up for a time when he hadn’t, tired him out more. 

How this amused any version of him, he had no idea.

“He’s been cooped up for a bit, recovering.” Adult Tifa finally explained the behaviour to a very confused Barret. 

“Is he good now?” Barret asked, concerned. 

“You’d never know it.” Adult Cloud scoffed. “Though, seriously, who is this kid?” He muttered as they let the kid in question crouch down and follow the trail of footprints and feathers.

“It’s a good change, though.” Mom Tifa said. 

He hummed in assent. “Too tiring.” He added. 

“Dad!” Denzel called. 

They all looked to see the child pointing to the now found chocobos. 

“We gonna catch them?” Denzel asked eagerly. 

“You gonna sneak up on them?” Adult Cloud snickered. 

Denzel pouted. “But you remember doing it.” He muttered. 

The man chuckled. “I also remember it being a pain in my ass that I’d rather not repeat one more time.” He said. 

Oh, yay. It was a pain to do.

Before anyone could offer advice, they all noted his hitched sword started to glow, and then the chocobos paused in what they were doing. 

Mom Tifa actually laughed.

“That works.” Cloud muttered before bolting through the reeds before the spell wore off.

He then grumbled in annoyance when the birds left without them. “Seriously?” He asked. 

Denzel was already running. 

“Seriously.” He heard himself echo in amusement. 

Loud. He was loud.

Thankfully, the entire missing herd returned with the leader he wrangled.

The siblings were happy about that, at least, and rented the birds free of charge.

There were small mercies.

With the entire herd amassing, there were extra birds for the older versions of Tifa and Cloud to hop up onto.

They watched in wonderment that this older version of Cloud, looked down at the kid, who was gushing in awe. 

“Hang tight.” He offered. 

The kid nearly sawed his head off, nodding happily. 

They saw him hop up easily, settle his sword against the back of the saddle in its harness, before he moved himself lower to one side. “Heads up, kiddo.” He stated. The kid immediately held his hand and let himself be pulled up onto the saddle. 

The kid panicked when the chocobo bucked. 

“Careful,” Adult Cloud warned, rushing to wind his arm around him. “He’s not like Fenrir. He’ll move to his own tune, you need to move with him.” He instructed. 

Denzel nodded and concentrated on the bird he was sitting on, with a very watchful Dad. 

Barret looked at Mom Tifa. 

“Fenrir?” He questioned. 

“Cloud’s motorbike.” She explained. “Denzel and Marlene take rides all the time when Cloud’s home. They get very excited, or so I’m told, when he picks them up from school. It’s still very much a novelty to have Cloud around full-time.” She added, with a happy smile on her face.

Barret blinked. “… Right.” He muttered in confusion.

There was so much to unpack in that statement alone, but he was sure he was going to get a headache decoding it all.

It took them a little longer to leave when one version of Cloud needed to do a lap around the farm to convince Bill he could actually ride the animal properly. While the other one took the time to talk about riding basics to his kid. But no one else seemed to mind the delay back to Kalm, which, as predicted, was no longer crawling with ShinRa troops.

Similarly, dusk was falling as they returned, and Denzel put up a good fight, but with the sway of the chocobo, he was out like a light. 

“Tifa.” Adult Cloud called. 

It wasn’t just Mom Tifa that looked over, and saw the problem he was calling her attention to, but she went over to him to help. She put her hands up to keep Denzel in place while Adult Cloud climbed down. He took over once his feet returned to the ground. 

Denzel’s head was on his shoulder, not at all disturbed by the transfer. 

It was unnerving, at least to Cloud, to watch himself be this soft. This let down, yet loud at the same time. 

He could feel his presence in each step he took. It was like the ground trembled when he moved. 

This version of him looked so sure of himself, of where he was, of how to interact with not just Tifa, but with his own kid. He didn’t want to say it unnerved him, but the mako-green tinged part of him growled at it so loudly that he had to be. 

With the addition of them and their child, the only room now available was packed. More than several of them would need to share, sleep on couches, and Red would need to lay on the carpet.

Adult Cloud just shrugged. “We share already.” He commented, as if what he just said was common knowledge, and not a phenomenon that shattered numerous people’s preconceptions to the moon and back.

He just casually walked over to the nearest bed and deposited Denzel before reaching for his sword. Then he lent it against the wall before unlatching the holster for it, then all excess armour he had on to place them on a nearby side table. 

They stared at Mom Tifa, as if waiting for her rebuttal, but it never came.

So, they shared a bed where they came from. Common knowledge. Not phased. As if it didn’t awe those hearing about it for the first time. 

Amazing. 

They immediately stalled when he looked back to his younger version, determined about something that settled in his mind. 

It took everything he had to not baulk, or go for the handle of his Buster sword when he came at him, peacefully. 

Only for him to flick him with one finger at his forehead. There was enough force in the simple gesture, Cloud’s neck snapped backwards.

“Hey!” He growled. 

They both noted their respective versions of Tifa move in alarm, while Barret, Red and Aerith watched on nervously.

“Don’t let him in.” Adult Cloud warned.

Cloud scrunched his face up. “Let who —?” He paused at the warning glance. 

“You know who.” He added. 

It was unsettling to watch emotions that he was familiar with on his own face roll on the adult’s face. 

“Green?” He asked. He must have noticed the oncoming rebuttal. “So yes. Here.” He overruled and handed over a vial. “Take it like the one before. Don’t make me force you. This won’t be pleasant as it is. I don’t need you going zombie on me. I did that enough myself.” He warned. 

He thought it best not to question him. So he did as he was told. He knew his own voice.

Silently, returning the vial didn’t make the man back off, no, he just continued to stare at him. Watching for something.  

“Cloud…?” Mom Tifa asked in concern. 

“Hold on.” He requested, and she quietened down.

Adult Cloud stared for exactly two minutes, silently, and never anywhere but at his younger self.

“How long did you say it was?” Adult Cloud asked suddenly, not for one second taking his eyes off his younger self. 

They all paused, not knowing who exactly he was talking to, or referring to. 

“Train.” Mom Tifa queued in.

“Oh,” Tifa voiced. “Three weeks ago.” She answered. 

Adult Cloud clicked his tongue.

“Too much.” He muttered, then tossed a vial towards Mom Tifa, still not taking his eyes off his younger self. “Double it.” He asked. Since there had been no change. No reaction.

She nodded and did what he asked silently, as if she understood the need for her to be quick.

It didn’t take Mom Tifa long to put the vial back in Adult Cloud’s hand softly. 

Or for the warning glare he gave to Cloud to take it from him again.

“What is this even meant to do?” He muttered, indignantly, but did as he was told, seeing Tifa’s pleading look.

“Reduces the risk of what occurs with mako poisoning from happening. Since you are heavily intoxicated right now, more is needed.” Adult Cloud explained. 

“There’s a cure?” Tifa asked, more loudly than she wanted to, causing both versions of Cloud to flinch. “Sorry.” She muttered. 

Adult Cloud shook his head. “Not so much as a cure, but a long term solution for while there are still lingering effects. They suck. It doesn’t reverse the poisoning.” He answered. 

“You take this?” Cloud asked. 

Adult Cloud shrugged. “Not so much now. But I know the signs for when I need to. They’re easier to manage now.” He explained easily. 

He knew better than to not look himself in the face once the potion was finished. 

“There.” He muttered, knowing he needed to wait out the Cloud Glare. 

Now he knew why it was called that, huh.

Suddenly everything in him shifted slightly to the right.

The green moved, retreated from his eyesight altogether, and the pain he wasn’t aware of feeling was washed away from his shoulders.

He didn’t realise he was carrying that much weight around.

Even his Buster sword suddenly felt too heavy and alienating. Like it wasn’t his?

Then came another singular finger flick to the head. 

“Hey!” He gripped angrily, opening his eyes and glaring. When had he closed them?

“There you are.” Adult Cloud commented. “This time, stay. Tifa worries.” He muttered, then miraculously, he moved away from his personal space. 

He hadn’t even known he’d been away to begin with. 

“Didn’t know I was away?” Cloud muttered. 

“That’s the problem.” Adult Cloud warned. “You slip, he comes in.” He added. 

Cloud blinked in realisation. 

Well, shit. 

“How am I supposed to not let him in, if I don’t know it’s happening?” Cloud grumbled in annoyance. 

Tifa gasped next to him in worry.

He hadn’t meant to worry her, and he looked to her in apology. 

“Your hand.” Adult Cloud stated. 

He looked at him in confusion.

Adult Cloud had wandered back over to the bed Denzel was in. 

The kid was snoring. Huh.

The snoring noise didn’t grate, like it usually did.

Cloud tilted his head. “My hand?” He asked. 

“Whenever you feel it start to spasm, let someone know, take the potion.” He elaborated. “It’s the onset of flashing, and in this case, so early, you’re being left behind in your own head without you knowing.” He said. 

That sounded alarming. 

Okay. Noted. 

“Copy.” He muttered, looking at his hands. 

Both adults stared at him.

“I haven’t heard you say that in years.” Mom Tifa muttered in awareness.

“Copy.” Adult Cloud said.

She glared at him in warning, and he raised his hands in surrender. “My bad.” He apologised immediately. 

“Whipped.” Barret muttered in awe, then flinched when both versions of Cloud turned to glare at him.

“Anyways!” Aerith parried, waving her hands and rushing to be in front of Barret. “You were gonna explain how you got here!” She said, clapping her hands together.

“Oh, right!” Mom Tifa said, then turned to Adult Cloud. “Cloud? Please tell me you know how we got here, and how we can get back. I saw you freeze just before we got here.” Mom Tifa asked.

They watched as Adult Cloud blinked, looked as if he remembered, grimaced as if in pain, and one hand went to the back of his head, where he hissed in pain at some type of wound he now remembered having. He glared at the hand he pulled away from the back of his head.

“Oh right. Yeah, I’m punching Zack in the face.”

Chapter Text

I’m still stuck in the back of my mind, can anyone fix me up? Everyone sees me like I’m not here. Having to stare truth in the face scares me. Who am I? My mind soared to the dark side of the moon, as I gazed at the starry sky above. Oh, if only I could be young and innocent again. I have to move forward, but only if I can stop these endless tears. Now then, I have to set myself free, my never-ending journey begins from the sky. Can’t you see? I’m still here, breathin’, screamin’, drowning in my sorrows. I feel swept away by the waves as I disappear, falling down, I hear now the echoes from the warm and tearful memories.

— Abigail Turner | mahina (Falling Down)
(Eng) | (Jap)

3. Falling Down

Aerith wasn’t the only one to screech and point. 

“Loud.” Adult Cloud complained, moving a step back from the noise in discomfort. 

Cloud himself was suddenly remembering who exactly the name linked to, and paused in confusion at how he forgot it in the first place.

Mom Tifa was tilting her head. 

“Can you, though, he’s…?” She questioned, as if another version of her didn’t recently have the conversation where Cloud protested he even knew the person in question.

He blinked. “Dead. I know. Fancy telling him that? He hit me in the damn head.” Adult Cloud grumbled. “Damn well hurt. Forgot he kicked.” He added softly. 

“Did he say why, exactly?” Mom Tifa continued to ask, as if used to Cloud having the ability to interact with dead people. 

Adult Cloud looked up from staring at his gloved hand. 

“Something about Aerith? I think? I mean, that tracks for him. He pulled my ass all the way from Nibelheim to Midgar. I don’t even remember half of it. It wouldn’t have been fun, even without the full weight of the ShinRa military on us. Half the time, I couldn’t move.” He said with a shrug.

Mom Tifa took a second to understand what he wasn’t saying. 

“Excuse me!” Aerith said loudly with a hand up in the air. “What did you say about me?” She questioned from the couch. She looked equally stunned as the version of Tifa next to her.

Aerith blinked when he stared at her for a second longer before his face scrunched up in confusion. “Said whatever that you’re trying to do? Doesn’t work. Sent me instead. Not saying what I was supposed to help him with. Again, tracks. Way too many expressions. Never enough actual words that explain anything.” Adult Cloud said, more like grumbling in annoyance.

Mom Tifa took in the confused faces, and even the pained face of the younger version of Cloud, and looked back to the confused look on her Cloud’s face.

She put a hand on his arm, and she immediately had his attention, not realising the setting sun caught her ring for everyone to stare at its placement on her left fourth finger. 

“Maybe start from the beginning, uncut, maybe the reason will come to you, if he didn’t exactly say?” She parlayed. 

“We already did Memory Lane last night.” Barret confirmed. 

She turned to him. “BZZ! BZZ! Wrong!” She sang happily, before turning back to her Cloud. “Are you okay telling the story again?” She questioned in concern. 

They watched as he looked over to the bed, as if to confirm the snoring was in fact coming from his kid. 

“Sure,” He looked at his younger self. “This won’t be pretty. Tell me if your hand hurts.” He warned.

Cloud figured it was gonna hurt anyway. He got the warning twice. If he thought he needed a repeat? It was gonna be hell.

Seeing him nodding, Mom Tifa smiled and bounded on her feet, and took in the room, and noted where everyone was. Her younger self and Aerith were sitting on one couch, Barret on another, with Red near his feet. Cloud had wandered closer to her younger self’s side, which she figured he would have done well before he did it. 

“So! The two biggest questions you have, right now, all stem from the Nibelheim Incident. Yes, Cloud was there, no you didn’t see him. Yes, he knew Zack.” She overruled. 

“He kicked me in the head, Tifa.” The man beside her grumbled. 

“Karma for making him take a year to get to Midgar?” Mom Tifa rebutted gently with a teasing tone. 

“Wow. Yeah. Rude. I totally had control over that. Hmm-m.” Adult Cloud snarked back, annoyance throughout his tone. 

“I know.” She said softly, patting his nearest arm.

Adult Cloud clicked his tongue, but didn’t offer anything else.

Mom Tifa didn’t look as if him not offering the rest of the story, even when asked, perturbed her.

“So everything you heard last night was true, just the point of view was a bit off, but true nonetheless.” Mom Tifa explained. 

It didn’t seem to help the confusion on either Tifa or Aerith’s faces.

“Then what else can you say happened?” Barret asked, throwing up one hand. 

Mom Tifa looked at her Cloud. “Cloud? I was unconscious at the time.” She reminded him softly. 

They saw the brief set of pain scrunch his face up. 

“He hurt you.” He muttered in disdain.

She nodded, one hand went for his, and the other went for the middle of her chest. 

“I don’t think you’ve ever remembered, or realised, that you being there saved my life.” She said with a small smile. 

He stared at her, in disbelief. “I couldn’t help you.” He said, as if that was the worst thing he could do.

She blinked. 

“Ah-huh. And killing Sephiroth and throwing him into the Life stream, didn’t remove him from the world for five years.” Mom Tifa protested.

He did what?!

Adult Cloud shrugged, ignoring the sudden verbal uproar. “All it got me was a stab wound and four years of torture that I don’t remember.” He muttered. 

This got Tifa to stand in panic. 

Cloud to flinch from phantom pain.

And Mom Tifa to move around to be in his vision. 

She could see the pain on his face.

“It made me lose five years. You were alone because of it.” He added quietly. 

Her free hand went to cradle one side of his head. “Hey,” She shushed. “I don’t blame you. For any of that. Or what came afterwards.” She reassured him. 

“The worst enemy is yourself?” Adult Cloud muttered. 

Tifa was fretting. 

Torture? That’s where Cloud had been? What he wouldn’t tell her?

She looked from Aerith’s stricken face, then to Cloud, who looked like he was trapped inside his own head. She took a second to look at his hand, it wasn’t trembling.

By the time she looked back to the older versions of them, she was getting Adult Cloud to rest his head on her shoulder.

“When did you last go to sleep?” She heard her question softly.

Adult Cloud hummed. “… Yesterday? Maybe?” He muttered, suddenly sounding tired, or at the very least, lost the ability to not sound it.

“Maybe go lie down with Denzel? Did you know that you being there helps with his nightmares?” She questioned. 

They all heard the realisation hum from him. “No, I didn’t, but now you’ve said it, it makes sense why he makes a big deal of making sure if I’m staying the night or not. I’m pretty sure he’s camped in front of our bedroom door once or twice.” He muttered tiredly. 

Mom Tifa hummed. 

“You didn’t let him in?” She asked, clipped, warningly. 

“Didn’t want to embarrass him by knowing I knew he was there. Should I talk to him about it?” He asked, moving away from her shoulder and looking concerned. 

“He probably thinks he can’t talk to you, or that you won’t listen, or that you are too busy.” Mom Tifa said. 

He heard the warning in her tone, and flinched before his nose scrunched up. 

“No.” He said hard. “I’m not.” He muttered before moving away. “I’ll talk to him in the morning.” He offered. 

“He knocks on the door when you’re away.” She offered. 

Pain flickered across his face. “I’m not away so much now.” He muttered in worry. He looked from the snoring kid, back to her. “How frequent are his nightmares? I’ve only heard him camp a few times. Mostly straight after the Geostigma and Deepground Incidents.” He asked, worry in his tone.

Mom Tifa shrugged. 

“Most nights when you didn’t come back before.” Mom Tifa quipped, hurt in her tone. 

They saw the flinch from a mile away. “Sorry.” He muttered softly. 

She shook her head. “You came back in the end, and that’s what matters. You could have told me what was going on, but I guess old habits die hard.” She said quietly. 

He looked at her, a calculative expression in his eyes and face. “There…was a jab there, somewhere.” He said warily. He saw her look. “Noted and heard, Tifa.” He remarked quietly.

She jerked her head. 

“Going.” He muttered. 

To their surprise, he moved away, kicked off his boots, threw off his gloves and was under the covers in a second.

They watched in awe as the man quietly moved the child onto his chest before settling himself with one arm over his eyes and the other around his kid.

They were silently watching Mom Tifa in the minutes she stood there watching, as if to make sure he actually went to sleep.

It took only five minutes before her shoulders slumped in relief. They could gather the man had actually gone to sleep.

She stalled when she looked back. “Oh.” She muttered. 

It took a second for Tifa and Aerith to realise that in the five minutes they had been watching Mom Tifa like a hawk, all males had actually fallen asleep. 

Even Red was starting to snore. 

But Mom Tifa just blinked. “I hadn’t realised I was being boring?” She said in good nature. 

Aerith didn’t hear the tone and immediately shook her head. “They don’t think that at all, I’m sure!” She rushed to defend. 

Mom Tifa blinked at her in amazement, before smiling softly. “I’m sure they’re all just tired from running,” She looked to her younger self. “I cannot stress enough that Cloud cannot take it, even if he says he can. It’s way too early for him.” She added, stress now in her voice. 

It was like the walls came down as soon as both blondes were out cold, and couldn’t give defence. 

Tifa sided her head. “Too early?” She questioned. 

Mom Tifa nodded. “For him, everything that happened five years ago?” Tifa nodded along. “Happened three weeks ago. And it broke him in ways I’m still finding out.” She worried, trying to get her point across. 

Tifa frowned. 

“What do you mean?” She asked, mirroring the worried tone. 

Mom Tifa just sighed as she started to pace. 

“After everything that went down in Nibelheim,” She paused, seeing the confused look on her younger self. “Oh. No trick. He was there. As was Zack.” She reiterated. 

“I never saw him.” Tifa refused her. 

Mom Tifa shook her head. “He never showed his face, sure, but think back to anytime they were there when you were in danger, or you needed help. You were helped. By whom, exactly?” She elaborated gently.  

Tifa took a second. 

She had been pouring over her memories since the night before. Agonising how Cloud knew when he wasn’t there. 

Tifa found herself looking at the barely adult blonde, who had somehow dozed off next to Barret, legs tucked in, looking as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible. 

Torture. Torture had done that to the boy she knew.

“Watch out!”

“This way!”

There had been someone looking out for her. 

“There’s the one trooper who survived the pass up.” Tifa mumbled as she thought. 

He never showed his face.

But he had always been right next to her all the way up. Keeping pace easily with Zack and Sephiroth. Always by her side.

Not so much the other trooper, who at times lagged behind before he met his fate with the waterfall.

Tifa barely noted the encouraging nod her older version made, or heard the surprised hum Aerith did.

But, if she were to superimpose all those smaller traits, onto Cloud? 

Easy.

Oh, now she is mad. 

“He never said…!” She exploded, as quietly as she could without wishing to wake the others, as she raced to stand up. 

“Aw. I think it’s cute.” Aerith imposed. 

Tifa actually gave her a glare for half a second. 

“I didn’t know it was him! I was so mean to him! Why didn’t he let me know he was okay…!?” She tried to keep her voice down, stalled completely when the person in question actually whimpered out in pain. 

They all stared at the man, varying degrees of concern over their faces.

“Great. Arriving at my own questions, skip the trip into the Life stream. It’s not fun. Still is probably needed, though…” Mom Tifa advised. 

She got stared at, incredulously. 

“As to why? He eventually told me. In said Life stream. Inside his own head, sure, but the main reason was he figured he was breaking your promise, not returning as a SOLDIER. Didn’t want to break it, so didn’t show his face.” She frowned. “I don’t think he ever took you being mean to him personally. He probably felt every barb you threw at him, and it cemented the idea he wasn’t strong enough—yeah, okay, he totally took it personally, and made it his entire personality. Damn it.” Mom Tifa ended up swearing in realisation, turning and glaring at a wall. 

Tifa stared at her older self.

There was so much to unpack in what she just laid down. 

Somewhere along the line, both of them were thrown into the Life stream? Tifa would avoid that like the plague, then, if possible. But everything else…? Suddenly everything that made Cloud, Cloud, suddenly made so much more sense. 

“And afterwards…?” Tifa was loathed to ask.

Mom Tifa hummed thoughtfully. “With the person that starts with an S that we probably shouldn’t say?” She asked while gesturing at both blondes. While they were both asleep, she doubted freely saying the name aloud would get him to remain so. They both mutely nodded. “He wasn’t lying when he said he followed S back to the reactor, what he can’t remember at the moment is that both he and Zack attempted to stop him. Zack was thrown backwards, and badly injured, while Cloud was able to mortally wound him, while in the process of getting stabbed himself, threw him over the railing into the reactor.” Mom Tifa explained.

Tifa was thrown mentally sideways. 

He was there.

He protected her, saved her life. So much more than once. 

“How does the… torture … bit fit in?” Aerith was asking, gently. 

It didn’t help the flinch Tifa made. 

Mom Tifa sighed out in annoyance. 

“Because of it, they became under Hojo’s scrutiny, and therefore property.” Her face twisted in disgust. “Zack, as a First SOLDIER, he should have been able to kill S with ease. While Cloud, because he was just a trooper, had no mako enhancements.” Mom Tifa explained. “For four years they were kept under Nibelheim, at Hojo’s whim. And you should know by now, his MO is always about improving things. He improved Cloud. In some ways, I’m still finding out.” She explained, her tone ending up painful. 

“You said four years. But it has been five…?” Tifa asked. 

Mom Tifa shrugged. “He was heavily drenched in mako, kept in it, he doesn’t know how they got out. But from what he’s told me, Zack must have broken them out, and carried him all the way to Midgar. Took them a year to get there. Zack must have known how long they were away for at some point, because Cloud knew by the time I found him at the train station.” Mom Tifa explained. 

Right.

The train station. 

Three weeks ago.

“I found him three weeks ago.” Tifa remembered. 

Mom Tifa nodded. “He hasn’t had five years to deal with what happened. Mentally, he’s lost five years. For him, he’s still sixteen, he went from losing his entire hometown, to losing you, then his friend, all in the span of a single day.” Mom Tifa added, looking apologetically towards Aerith. 

She saw when what she couldn’t say dawned on her.

Aerith closed her mouth, and turned her face away. 

That was going to be a hard pill to come to terms with. She knew. She had known. But Aerith had never really wanted to…

She felt Tifa pat her shoulder consolingly, catching up to the undertones of what her older self said. 

“He’s still very much struggling with that, and the mako poisoning. You’ve most likely seen him flinch, or look like he’s gotten a sudden headache. Move against his will. All signs of extreme mako poisoning. From a doctor’s perspective, he shouldn’t even be functioning, let alone walking around and talking.” Mom Tifa said quietly, looking back to her version of Cloud.

At some point of her narrating, his arm had slipped off his eyes and crowned his head that he had in her direction, and against Denzel’s. 

Still always knowing where both were, even in his sleep.

It would be cute, if the reason behind it didn’t hurt her deeply.

“I wanted to be seen.”

“By who…?”

“By you.”

Looking at them, and realising how dark the room got, Mom Tifa threw a quick small fire spell at the fireplace to keep the place warm for the males who really had no bedding, or back support.

“We better get some rest before Barret wakes us all up with his grumbling about his back.” Mom Tifa advised.

Both girls flinched. They had not heard the end of it the entire day about how last night killed his back.

“And Cloud? Will he be alright?” Tifa asked in concern. 

They looked over to see the bare-adult had turned onto his side and was now protecting his head, but still out like a light. 

Mom Tifa hummed thoughtfully, before she moved over to the closet in hopes to find a blanket or two. 

She was relieved when she found two. She placed one near Barret, in case the older man needed it throughout the night, but she made sure to cover Cloud chin-to-boot. The man immediately whimpered and scampered down to lie down, his head resting against the arm rest, his curled up legs against his chest, still trying to be as small as possible, and not even touching Barret’s side. There could have been two continents with the amount of space Cloud didn’t take up between them.

Mom Tifa moved with him easily, most likely knowing he would cower, but they saw the pained wince the woman did at the exact moment they all did at his fearful whimper. 

“Tifa.” The man muttered out, searchingly, even if he was still out like a light.

She would never forget that no matter where Cloud was, or how old he was, she was the first thing he thought of. The first thing he tried to protect. The memories he hid in the back of his mind when everything in him revolted. Mom Tifa looked back at her family, and decided to call it a night. Being back here was exhausting her. Too many demons.

She got under the covers once she undid her shoelaces. 

“Tifa…?” She wasn’t the only one to hear her version of Cloud question tiredly. 

“I’m here.” She answered quietly as she settled against his side. Automatically curling up against him.  

They all heard the grateful yet tired hum, and the turn he did to shove his face into her hair. 

He didn’t speak again, and yet he never needed to. Never with her, to convey everything to her. That she was his everything. 

She felt his arm move under her back to hold her closer than she already was. 

“Night, Cloud.” She muttered back to him. Even if he couldn’t hear her.

She felt herself slump at the familiarity of feeling his breathing against her hair, the feel of his arm at her back, and she was out like a light.

Chapter Text

Where do you go when you always feel so low? All my scars are so loud. So I don’t let the sickness show. I know you mean well, but it’s best that I don’t speak. I would rather be dead than ever drag you down with me. Where do you go when you’re healing way too slow? ‘Cause the pressure makes me wanna be alone. On the surface, I’m fine, but the walls are caving in. I’d rather shut down than be judged for who I am. Stop pushing me and let this go. It’s better that you never know. ‘Cause I would rather hold it in than lose control. It’s better that you never know. If I don’t keep my secrets safe: The ones I love would never stay.

— Citizen Soldier & LEXX (Say Nothing)

4. Say Nothing

Tifa had her back to Aerith, at her advantage point she could spy both blondes from where she lay.

From the moment she kicked off her boots and laid down, she knew she wasn’t getting sleep. 

Tortured. He’d been tortured. By Hojo. So the word was simultaneously the same as experimented on.

How was she meant to take that sitting down and not want to wrap her arms around him. 

Aside from the fact that he probably wouldn’t want her to hug him every five seconds, but the point still stands.

How was she meant to help him through that? Not be even more concerned at his periodic episodes that could hit whenever. Triggered by something even she said?!

How could anyone just expect her to compartmentalise everything she had been told and just carry on like nothing had changed? 

Everything had changed. 

Not that she would ever, ever, blame Cloud for it.

But… Torture. How could she help him heal from that of all things?

She couldn’t even help herself heal from the Nibelheim Incident. Let alone help him.

Her mind looped and looped and looped from the second her head touched the pillow until she heard the starting of Barret grumbling. 

That was when she knew she could safely sit up.

She tried not to disturb Aerith, who she had felt sob herself to sleep quietly.

Tifa had the feeling she would be in the same boat had she been told it was Cloud that had been shot down three weeks ago. She just gently placed her pillow into Aerith’s arms. 

Decided not to call attention to the fact that the woman buried her head into it and whined. 

“What the…?” She heard Barret’s first intelligible thing and looked at him.

Barret was looking at Cloud’s crumpled form at his side.

“Please don’t wake him.” Tifa found herself pleading. 

He looked at her, affronted. “Wasn’t going to.” He muttered.

He could make his own assumptions from what he heard before he fell asleep.

“You gonna be good?” Barret questioned. 

Tifa pulled at her lip in worry. “No?” She questioned herself.

Barret seemed to nod several times. “I get you.” He muttered quietly. 

She supposed he did. 

They weren’t alone for long, Red was stretching first, then Mom Tifa grunted in displeasure at being awake, before the woman slipped out of bed, earning a disapproving sleepy whine from the blonde pillow she had been lying against. 

“Sleep, Cloud.” She muttered.

Adult Cloud muttered something back, but no one could really understand what he was actually saying. It made Mom Tifa quietly chuckle, when he didn’t move she moved to get her shoes back on, and return her gloves to her back pocket.

“Morning.” She said cheerfully, waking up fully as she put her shoes on. 

Barret grunted at her, it caused her to smile. 

Tifa nodded at her, and watched her taking in the other resident blonde in worry. 

“He hasn’t moved?” She questioned. 

Tifa, knowledgeable that he hadn’t moved an inch all night that she kept vigil, shook her head.

They saw the worried frown it received. 

With no real schedule to keep until later on, they let the sleepyheads sleep in. 

Barret even left and returned before anyone stirred with a pot of tea in a bid to help them wake up more. 

It was over an hour before the first grumpily stirred.

To Tifa’s surprise, it was the older version of Cloud who moved first.

He struggled carefully in putting Denzel off him, before getting up, and looking around. Tifa noted the sleepy expression, and she mutely wondered if he even knew where he was.

In watching him move, she noted with even more surprise that her Cloud had his eyes open, warily looking at something as the man moved across the room.

To no one’s real surprise, he headed straight for Mom Tifa.

He came to a stop in front of her, his eyes barely a slit open.

“Zack?” He muttered. 

Tifa flinched when she heard the panicked noise from her version of Cloud and noted where exactly he was staring. 

At the man’s violently trembling hand at his side.

But Mom Tifa was shaking her head. 

“You’re not Zack.” She said, definitive. “I would like my Cloud back, please,” She put both hands on his cheeks, gently. “Kinda biased for my life partner, you see.” She said in a false-pleasantry. Her tone shook. She was worried. 

They were what?!

Well, that explained the ring, but, what?

Tifa barely heard the surprised and elated muted squeal from a now very awake Aerith behind her as they all watched as the man tried to blink, but moved, so his head crashed into Mom Tifa’s shoulder. 

She grunted at the velocity and the sudden weight in which his head connected with her, but made no other sudden movements, aside from one ringed hand move to his head.

“Not Zack?” He muttered tiredly.

Mom Tifa hummed. “Never, ever. No offence to Aerith, but I’ve technically always preferred you, as you, Cloud.” She said happily. 

Adult Cloud snorted. “And you tell me not to mock the dead.” He rebutted tiredly. 

“Aerith would approve, I’m sure.” Mom Tifa refused happily. 

Aerith was what!?

He finally moved away from her shoulder, blinking. 

“Sorry,” He muttered, one hand came up to rub one eye. “I didn’t mean to go away. Did I hurt you? Or Denzel?” He questioned. 

It was like they weren’t even there.

Mom Tifa shook her head. “And even if you did, we wouldn’t blame you. We understand it’s not you, Cloud. Never has the boy from the water tower harmed me.” Mom Tifa reiterated. 

Her tone barely covers an echo of how many times she must have said the same thing over and over again.

Mom Tifa held the silent glance he gave her. The silence almost yelled he was questioning her, and whether he should believe her from the rooftop at the once over he gave her, looking for injury. 

She hitched her head, and he nodded. 

“Alright.” He answered, then looked around, and blinked in realisation. “Oh, yeah. You’re here.” He announced in surprise.

“I think you mean you’re here.” Cloud muttered as he stared confusingly at the blanket in his lap.

When had he…?

Explains why he didn’t get cold, but when did he grab one?

Did he actually grab one in the first place? Did he wander again? He literally just saw a version of himself do it. 

Did he need a potion? He didn’t know.

“True. I’m sorry.” Mom Tifa apologised.

And that felt weird to hear. 

He couldn’t help but scrunch his nose up.

He didn’t need her apologising to him, of all people.

Cloud never deserved it. He told her so many times. She never listened.

He barely heard the thoughtful hum from the woman. But he did see the annoyed eyebrow raise she gave the other version of him.

Yeah. That at all wasn’t freaking out the not green soaked parts of him. The idea caused him to flinch and check his hand.

Not trembling. So he was good.

… Right?

They all ended up putting their shoes on before Denzel stirred. 

Cloud avoided the looks Tifa was firing at him. He couldn’t tell what emotion she was currently feeling. He was worried about how much she now knew. 

Couldn’t be worse, right?

At the boy grumbling sleepily, Adult Cloud turned to Mom Tifa.

“He didn’t have a nightmare while I wasn’t here, right?” He questioned quietly. 

Mom Tifa grinned and shook her head. “You still need to talk to him, though.” She reminded him. 

Adult Cloud clicked his tongue. “I didn’t forget.” He said easily. “Just making sure.” He added.

“You might need to wake him up faster than he wants.” Tifa explained, kinda weirded out that they both looked at her at the same time. “We need to get out of the room soon.” She muttered, pointing to the clock.

Adult Cloud hummed, then went over to the bed, and gently shook Denzel awake. 

“Up and at ‘em, Denz.” He called. 

Denzel quietly stirred. 

“Am I late?” The boy quietly asked. “Should I get Marlene up…?” He added tiredly, leaning into his father’s hand as the man moved his fringe out of his eyes. 

Adult Cloud hummed thoughtfully. “No. She’s with Barret.” He answered. 

Denzel nodded, and sleepily sat up, rubbing his eyes until Adult Cloud took his hands away.

“I know they’re painful.” He said, his tone regretful. 

“Hmm?” Denzel hummed in confusion, his eyes glowing. 

Seeing so, Adult Cloud teethed his gloves back off, not caring where they landed on the bed and placed his hands, so his thumbs could massage either side of the child’s eyes.

He didn’t let up until it wasn’t just him who noted the slump in Denzel’s shoulders.

“I’d offer to do more, but you need to wake up.” Adult Cloud started in amusement, pulling his hands away. 

“‘Kay, Dad.” Denzel muttered tiredly. 

Seeing him start to move, Adult Cloud got out of the way, grasping his gloves before they slipped off the bed and putting them back on.

Even when they left the room, and returned the key, Denzel was keeping close to his father, one hand tightly in his grasp, barely any space between them, still looking very blearily-eyed at the surrounding sunlight.

Adult Cloud immediately picked the kid up when he stumbled one too many times for his liking. 

“Alright,” He started. “Let’s get some food to help you wake up. We’re in Kalm after all,” He looked around, looked confused before looking lost. “Well, A Kalm before Deepground. Might be a little different from the Kalm I was in last week.” He amended. 

It took them a while to find a store with enough tables and chairs. But they eventually found one.

No one was surprised that the sight of food woke Denzel up the moment he smelt it. Then, once he inhaled it, he ran off running to the nearest garden, well within eyesight of his parents, and with the warning of not going far.

“If they never go to the Cetra Temple, no one gets a hold of the Black Materia.” Adult Cloud suddenly said.

Aerith dropped her fork in panic.

While so, Mom Tifa paused, frowned, then put her fork down calmly. “Okay. Explain that one. Wouldn’t Sephiroth just get it anyway?” She questioned

He shook his head.

“He needs someone alive with the S positive memory gene. Not just any Remnant.” He summed up. “And the Temple needs to be fully activated by Aerith.” He added thoughtfully.

He didn’t see the confused frowns on everyone. 

“They don’t go. ShinRa and Sephiroth don’t get it.” He said conclusively. 

They watched as Mom Tifa frowned thoughtfully.

“What made you think about that?” She asked carefully.

“What Zack might have sent us here for. No Black Materia. No Temple. Then no Forgotten City.” He explained. “If it was you instead… I’d be a very different man right now. That, or dead.” He muttered.

Mom Tifa blinked in worry. She wasn’t the only one.

“Is that what you think, or what you think Zack would think?” Mom Tifa questioned, something in her tone got him to look at her, and he brought his arms up to lean on the table. 

It wasn’t a subtle move to move his arms into view so she could see his hands were stable.

“Oh.” He muttered. “No. Me. Ironically, I put myself in his shoes to try to think of what we’re here for. Similarly, if I could change what happened at Gongaga, he would want the Forgotten City changed.” He explained. 

Now she was confused. 

“But I didn’t die at Gongaga.” She protested. 

“No. But I hurt you, and that’s the same thing.” He said simply.

“That wasn’t you!” She said loudly as she stood up in his own defence, slamming her palms down on the table.

Several of them skirted back in their chairs a pace or two, in panic. 

“I threw you into the Life stream, Tifa. I almost killed you doing so. I’m not going to forget that, as much as I can remember yelling at myself to not do it.” He rebutted strongly.

Grief turned on her face in seconds. 

“I didn’t know you knew what was happening. You could still see?” She muttered, sounding like she was in pain. Her shoulders slump with the knowledge.

He blinked at her, but nodded. “Just like every other time that I have no control. Back then, I couldn’t even move a finger, much less stop myself.” He explained. 

He grunted in surprise when he suddenly had an arm full of his version of Tifa. Not only that, but he was blinking in surprise, but he could hear her crying as much as they could. 

“I didn’t tell you to make you cry, Tifa.” He muttered regretfully. “That’s why I never told you. I hate you crying.” He added as he shifted to take her into his lap more easily.

He got a punch in the shoulder for that.

“Ow.” He answered her.

He felt her put down weight, so he shifted one arm to wrap around her waist.

“Then no going to Gongaga, either.” She gripped out tearfully. 

He clicked his tongue. “No. Someone needs to tell Zack’s parents he won’t be coming home.” He answered. 

She pulled out from hiding into his shoulder and glared. 

They all saw him flinch, sit up a little straighter and look towards the garden area. Looking over, they saw Denzel had fallen. 

He had heard the kid fall. 

He then hummed, and Mom Tifa got off his lap. 

“And you said you wouldn’t know what you were doing.” She said teasingly. 

“I did take notes from Barret, you know.” He snarked back as he got up, and surprised everyone by kissing her fully before he left. Leaving his sword still balanced near the Buster sword. A silent promise he would be coming back.

Cloud barely could keep up with the conversation, much less could he make sense of the scene before Barret was punching his shoulder, looking at the man, he was grinning victoriously. 

“Shove off.” He muttered, over the girls suddenly squealing in glee.

His feet got forcibly moved when Red ducked under the table. 

“I’m not old enough for this.” He swore he heard Red grumble. 

That was in his future, apparently.

Also, apparently in his future was a time when he threw Tifa into the Life stream?

Nu-huh. Nope.  

The green-tinged mako part of him could shove that idea down to the core of Gaia before he willingly went along with that idea. 

By now, Barret was guwaffing loudly, but he was able to tune him out easily by focusing on both versions of Tifa.

One was ducking her head in joyful embarrassment from the cajoling Aerith was giving her for the PA their older versions gave without much thought.

Which spoke of familiarity. He was that familiar with Tifa, he had permission to do that? Whenever?! Right now, he could barely summon the right words that didn’t piss her off.

The other, was turned away and watching her version of Cloud walk over to Denzel, in the minute since the kid dropped he hadn’t gotten up

It didn’t take any strength from the man to lean down and lift the kid back onto his feet gently.

Even if the kid wasn’t facing him, the scent of his blood hit him nauseously. 

“Blood.” He muttered out. 

He stalled when Mom Tifa looked at him in worry, then bolted. 

By the time she rushed over, Adult Cloud had already found the source of blood, from his nose, and was covering it with a rag from his pocket.

The only good thing was Denzel wasn’t crying, just a little stunned, that he had tripped over to begin with.

And by the time the small family returned to the table, Cloud couldn’t smell the blood anymore, even if the kid kept the old oil stained rag to his nose for good measure. He didn’t seem to mind holding it there, or being sat on Adult Cloud’s lap.

“You know the location of the City of the Ancients?” Aerith couldn’t help but ask in the silence of them returning. 

They all saw the child flinch in panic. 

“I’m not going back there!” Denzel panicked, suddenly. 

They looked at the child in panic.

Chapter Text

It doesn’t hurt me. Do you wanna feel how it feels? Do you wanna know that it doesn’t hurt me? Do you wanna hear about the deal that I’m making…? You. It’s you and me. And if I only could, make a deal with God. I’d get him to swap our places. Be running up that road. Be running up that hill, be running up that building. Say, if I only could, oh. You don’t wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies. Unaware I’m tearing you asunder, oh, there is thunder in our hearts. Is there so much hate for the ones we love? Oh, tell me, we both matter, don’t we? It’s you and me, we won’t be unhappy. If I only could…

— Karliene (Running Up That Hill)

5. A Deal With God

“You know the location of the City of the Ancients?” Aerith couldn’t help but ask in the silence of them returning. 

They all saw the child flinch in panic. 

“I’m not going back there!” Denzel panicked, suddenly. 

They looked at the child in panic.

Denzel clung to Adult Cloud in fear. And he looked up. “We’re not going back there, are we, Dad?” He panicked. 

“Hell no. You aren't going anywhere. Do you know how hard it was to chase after you, the other kids and the Remnants that took you, looking for a reunion? Hell no. I didn't know where you were!” Adult Cloud spat out in vitriol. His entire frame screamed protectiveness.

Even if his tone was peevish, it wasn’t at Denzel, and it caused the kid to relax.   

They were looking for what?

It was a term they had only heard recently. And only in relation to Sephiroth.

“None of the kids are S positive. Even with the Geostigma. They wouldn’t have achieved anything long term.” The man grumbled in annoyance. He then flicked Denzel in the head gently, reprimand for something. The kid squawked indignantly. “You might not share any blood relatedness to me, but damn can you act like me.” He said. 

They weren’t related?!

How?!

“They succeeded in pissing you off. And getting your attention.” Mom Tifa supplied. 

He glowered at her, the mako in his eyes glittering in his distaste. 

“Not the point. I was already pissed off that they existed. One of them hurt you.” He growled. “They threw a glowing tree at me, Tifa.” He insisted. 

She just laughed. “Oh, I’m sure you didn’t even throw a single sword then.” She cajoled.

“Not the point! A glowing tree! To my face!” He hissed. 

Denzel just giggled, no longer panicking. 

There was a small smile on Adult Cloud’s face that spoke that their playful banter was for Denzel’s benefit, to calm the kid down.

With the amount of noise they were making, it wasn’t a surprise they were kindly yet forcibly kicked out. 

“So, where to now?” Tifa queried curiously, not minding she was following an older version of herself. 

Barret was grumbling in confusion. 

“Not to Gongaga.” She heard her version of Cloud revolt. 

Ah. He had been taking in what they were saying.

How she wanted to just hug him. She looked at him, and saw the flicker of pain all over his face. 

They all heard Adult Cloud sigh out in annoyance, and they all looked to see his confused face. 

“Probably best to make your way to Junon. How odd is it that we gotta make sure Rufus Shinra doesn’t kick the bucket.” He said. 

That got everyone that wasn’t his family to yell.

“We need to do what?!” Barret was the loudest in yelling in disdain. “No way!” He added.

Adult Cloud didn’t seem phased at him yelling. 

“Not kill Rufus. He’s an ass, sure, but once he gets out of it, he spends the rest of his life paying for his mistakes, and that of ShinRa. Near-death experiences will do that.” He offered.

Mom Tifa was putting a hand on his back. “And you’re sure you can prevent Yuffie from trying her hardest like last time, how?” She questioned.

He shrugged. “Haven’t gotten to that point yet.” He admitted. “Probably throw Materia at her, or something. Attach some string to one.” He added. 

This caused Mom Tifa to laugh. “If you’re sure.” She said, with humour in her tone. 

“Field trip, kiddo.” He said a little later once no one refused the idea. 

Then he chucked the call whistle to Denzel. 

The kid actually pouted. “To Junon? Isn’t that kinda far? Why can’t you call uncle Cid?” He asked. 

Call who, exactly?

The family didn't exactly see them all look to each other, and shake their heads in confusion. Nope. No one knew who this person was.

Adult Cloud chuckled. 

“One, there’s no landing strip here, and two, my PHS doesn’t have service here.” He told him. 

And for good measure, the man actually pulled out his futuristic looking phone. He pressed it on, and the holographic screen booted up in the area around the device. 

It showed the wrong time on top of a photo of himself, Mom Tifa, Denzel and Marlene. 

A calendar that showed a future date and month. 

And that it had no service and was running offline.

“And for distance,” The man started, switching to a map, it blew up in the area as he zoomed out, showing the entirety of Gaia. They spied several pinned locations across the map, ranging from Nibelheim and the Forgotten City in the North, to Cosmo Canyon to the west, and Gongaga to the South. There were various other pins in the map as well, that they couldn’t catch before he was zooming back in on Midgar and their location. 

“See. That’s where we are.” He lectured quietly, Denzel had his full attention. Denzel pointed to Midgar, and the map zoomed in on the black hole where they knew the city was. But the kid flicked his finger to the location marked as Edge City. “That’s where Marlene is!” He said, catching on, flexing his fingers in pinpointing the exact location of the bar. “Right?” He questioned. 

Adult Cloud hummed in response. “Where we were before, yes. Where’re we now? Find the blinking dot.” He advised, suddenly giving a lesson in geography with a futuristic map, that was technically outdated, and yet completely future proofed. They absolutely did not mind, at all.

Denzel moved his fingers out then around, and they noted the odd angle Adult Cloud was leaning down into in order for Denzel to see and use his PHS correctly. 

“There!” Denzel crowed, seeing the blinking locator mark.

“Right, so here’s where we need to go.” Adult Cloud took over and flicked over marshland, towards a pin marked as the mythril mine. “Go through here, and there,” he added, showing where Junon was.

Some noted, curiously, the city that was marked for the biggest cannon in history, no longer had it.

“Not far with chocobos.” He insisted. 

Denzel eyed him warily. 

“If you’re sure…” Denzel said worriedly. 

“You’ll be fine.” He said softly. “The furthest you’ve been is, regrettably, the Forgotten City, yeah?” Denzel nodded, flinching away. He immediately flicked his fingers out. “That’s further away than Junon, and across the land bridge. Two Continents.” He explained softly, showing the distance between the two locations from the blinking locator marker.

“Oh!” Denzel was suddenly happier.

They didn’t even know Cloud could willingly talk that long. Let alone explain things in simpler terms. 

The kid went to call the chocobos happily. 

Even Barret could see the onset of realisation in Adult Cloud’s eyes as he figured something out. 

“Are you okay…?” Mom Tifa asked. 

“I think I forget, sometimes,” He started softly as Denzel was suddenly enamoured with a chocobo. Mom Tifa hummed in concern. He shook his head. “Not like that.” He ensured. “But that he was born and raised in Midgar, now Edge. Towns. Not a village like us. The distance between here and Junon is a laugh. We’re used to walking anywhere and everywhere for hours to get anywhere at his age. Him? Not so much. He reminds me of how Aerith used to be.” He said.

Again. It was like the rest of them had vanished from their sight altogether. Even Aerith’s loud vocal protests were dismissed. 

“And you’re okay with that? It doesn’t hurt?” She questioned curiously. There was worry in her tone, for some reason.

Adult Cloud hummed and looked at her from Denzel. “Realising it now, made me understand that it didn’t, when if I had noticed it before, it probably would have.” He said, understanding in his tone. 

They saw that the remark caused Mom Tifa to beam happily. 

Then came the huff from Denzel when he landed on his butt, trying to climb into the saddle. 

“City kids.” Adult Cloud muttered, mirth clinging to his tone, before he stepped over to him. “You’re not big enough for that yet.” He reminded him.

Denzel gave a glare from the dirt.

“Then help!” He whined. 

Adult Cloud snorted. “Then step back before she tramples you.” He noted.

Denzel immediately got up, and his father yanked him out the way when the chocobo stepped closer.

Denzel pouted the entire way through, from his father getting up, to settling him into the saddle. 

/

/

They were halfway through the swamplands, when suddenly, Adult Cloud stopped them all where the marsh bottle necked.

“I’m… not too fond of drowning to the Midgardsormr, again.” He piped up, glaring outwardly.

“You can see it?” Tifa asked before her older version could, who at that time was wrangling her chocobo, who had startled at a bird.

He hummed, and pointed up stream, to a little inlay would-be island. “But there’s no way through without startling it.” He reported.

“Ice magic, right?” Mom Tifa questioned. “I have fire.” She reminded him easily.

He looked at her, unease and uncertainty rolling onto his features easily. Then he was looking up and around at the surrounding ridges. 

“Tifa.” He noted. 

She followed his eyesight to the cliff faces. 

Then she nodded. “We could distract it?” She questioned. 

He hummed. “Hold on, Denz.” He noted. 

Denzel, hearing the warning in his tone, immediately held onto the arm wrapped around his middle.

In the next second the man was moving, and jumped off the chocobo, and up onto the cliff face.

He gave a second to look around him, then he was jumping back to stand on the chocobo.

“You as well.” He ordered, then threw his younger self up onto the ridge, then with an apologetic grimace took Aerith with him up to the ridge.

“He’s insane.” Barret blurted out. 

Mom Tifa chuckled. “Cloud is Cloud.” She surmised. “He’ll likely yank us out the way when the overgrown snake wakes up, so maybe don’t scream when he throws you. It’ll throw off the distraction.” She warned. 

Barret sputtered out indignantly when she started moving. 

“Now hang on! I didn’t agree to be bait!” He insisted. 

Cloud noted his older self returned Aerith to the ridge far more gently than he did him. Not that he minded. He could take the throw. 

He noted, with alarm, that he didn’t move to go get Tifa. 

“Tifa?” He questioned, trying to not sound as alarmed as he felt. 

“Can take care of herself for the moment.” He was answered with. 

But he saw the concern on his face, in how ready he was to jump again, and in how he was itching to take out his sword. He wondered briefly where his Buster sword was, before his attention was taken by the water starting to wobble and bubble. 

Denzel squawked in alarm as he nearly buckled from the quake. 

“Hey!” Aerith said as she caught him. “Are you okay?” She questioned gently. 

Denzel stared at her in awe.

Which. Fair. It got a little distracted chuckle from his older version. “I’ll introduce you two later. Give me a sec.” He requested. 

None of them minded, since the overgrown snake made a very angry appearance. 

“Nope.” The man muttered, then jumped. 

Barret was thrown up a second later, and he returned the next one with both versions of Tifa, which he let down gently. 

Then he went for his sword. 

“Ice?” Mom Tifa questioned. 

He hummed in assent. Two spots on his sword were glowing. 

No one needed to be told he was readying magic, in case he needed it. 

With a twirl and a flick of his sword, he suddenly had two? 

How? Exactly? 

Then the man was moving at a speed they could barely track him with. 

From one corner, ice was thrown across the yard, then again from the opposite. 

The Midgardsormr was battered from all sides, the areas that weren’t assaulted by the elements they barely saw the sword swipes.

The man never seemed to run out of energy or stamina, and seemed to hover, never touching the ground, as he rotated easily around the overgrown snake, hurling himself out of reach of its tip and its miasma attacks easily. 

Suddenly he leaped up onto the head, then jumped off it, only to somersault down hard onto the monster with ice and blue flames dancing around him.

The fiend stopped moving, and he drifted back down to the water slowly, his sword still ready, in case it wasn’t completely dead.

But it didn’t move, and eventually started to slowly mist back into the planet. 

Only then did this older version of Cloud return his sword to its holster. At some point, it must have become one sword again.

They saw as his eyes swept the region, as if to check for more fiends, when he saw none, he looked up to them, and easily jumped the distance back to them. 

“Are you hurt?” Mom Tifa’s first question to him was, predictably. 

He looked at her, and shook his head. “Nah. Felt good though.” He said. 

Ah, he did say something about drowning the previous time. 

“Pay back?” Cloud muttered. 

Adult Cloud grinned. “You’re welcome.” He said back, happily. 

They were immensely grateful that when Adult Cloud jumped them down, he did so to dry land and nearer to the entrance of the mines.

Tifa threw caution to the wind when she saw her Cloud stop, and put her hand on his back. 

“Cloud?” She questioned. 

He blinked and looked at her in confusion, not quite understanding the reason he stalled. 

The history lesson Barret found himself giving was eaten up by his companions and Denzel, who looked like his awe hadn’t retreated in the last hour off his face, gleefully. It served a good distraction for Cloud to get his bearings, while Red growled menacingly into the mine itself.

There was no good feeling about it.

“Cloud!” Mom Tifa was suddenly protesting. 

They all looked to see the man in question suddenly running across to the three Remnants and threw them and himself just before the ridge they were standing on collapsed in on itself.

“Cloud!” She was calling again, in panic, as she ran. 

They caught up to him, and saw the flicker of pain and confusion scrunch his nose up. 

“They’re…dying…” He muttered. 

“Cloud?” Mom Tifa asked a third time urgently, placing her hand in his. 

He looked at her. “Tifa.” He called. Then he looked back to the three who were struggling to move further into the mine. “They’re not gonna…” He tried to explain.

“Make it?” She questioned, sadly. 

He shook his head. “They weren’t designed to, that’s why there’s so many.” He added. 

“What do you mean?” Aerith questioned. 

“They were people, or SOLDIERs once. Before Hojo, got to them. Put it in their head to find Sephiroth. And sent them off.” Adult Cloud explained. “No one knew where Sephiroth actually was, so make multiples, drop them off in different regions, and surely at least one of them is bound to find his trail.” He added, distaste and something else hovering in his tone.

Tifa blinked in worry.

“But … you’re trying to find him.” She said softly. 

Cloud blinked at her in confusion. 

Adult Cloud just huffed. “Please. I took four years to get this good.” He stated in annoyance.

Mom Tifa looked at him swiftly. “We joke about that now?” She said, clipped. 

Adult Cloud hummed. “Gotta say. That’s the first one. Will probably be the last. Felt really weird.” He grumbled. 

“Is there anything we can do for them?” Aerith questioned gently. 

He looked at the three stumbling away. “Humanely put them out of their misery? This is no life. They can’t return to the person they were before, since they don’t remember it. If they actually were one to begin with.” He said, a grimace on his face. He looked at Aerith. “Can you sense their pain?” He questioned curiously.

She looked at them. 

“They’re trapped in it.” She said, in confusion.

He hummed. “Tifa?” He looked to her for a verdict. 

Mom Tifa shook her head, and crossed her arms, looking pained. “I look at them and I see you. How you were at the Northern Crater. I can’t…” She ended up trailing off, pain in her voice. 

Denzel looked up at her in concern from her side and hugged her. 

Adult Cloud immediately walked over to her and wrapped her up. “Hey.” He muttered into her hair. 

She immediately fell forward into his chest and gripped his sides. 

“I can’t.” She protested weakly. 

They watched as he moved her head, so her ear was placed over where his heart would be.

“I’m here.” He told her softly. 

It took a minute, but she finally relented to moving from him. 

“… You sure…?” He questioned. “I don’t mind.” He reminded her softly. 

She shook her head, and jerked it in their way. “They probably do. They have places to be.” She answered.

While he hummed in assent, Denzel didn’t move away from her side. 

“Then we should probably make for the other end of the mines, and deal with the Turks on the way.” Adult Cloud stated. 

Turks!?

Great.

That’s all they needed.

Chapter Text

You’re scaring us and all of us, some of us, love you. It’s not much, but there’s proof. Remember your virtue: Redemption lies plainly in truth. The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken. Remember the pact of our youth. Where you go, I’m going, so jump, and I’m jumping. Since there is no me without you. Hurt and grieve but don’t suffer alone, engage with the pain as a motive. You will heal and you’ll rise above. It’s chaos, confusion and wholly untrue. You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing. It’s all just conjecture and gloom. There may not be meaning, so find one: Do not waste yourself on this roof.

— Annapantsu (Achilles Come Down)

6. Achilles Come Down

As soon as he warned about the Turks, they looked around every corner, waiting to see them pop up at any moment.

They all figured that with how the older versions of Cloud and Tifa moved, they could remember the directions of the mine, and how to get out faster than they could, bumbling around in the dark as they were. None of them had realised that Cloud could see in the dark until now. But at any time either version of him ducked, they immediately ducked, since the one time they didn’t and Barret found out why the blonde was ducking.

The mine seemed to go on forever. 

At one point, Denzel screeched in fright when he tripped over some waylaid wire.

“Nope.” His father ended up muttering and yanked the kid up to his hip.

The kid verbally pouted. 

“Humour me, please. I hate this place.” He grumbled in return for being overprotective. 

The answer got Denzel to nod and quieten down. 

Several times through the trip, the man would put him down in Mom Tifa’s presence, and at this point, an hour afterwards, they knew fiends were just out of their eyesight by now. 

It normally coincided just before or with Red’s hackles going on alert. 

Weapons were out at either behaviour starting. 

They weren’t upset that Mom Tifa hung back during these times, putting herself between the fiends and Denzel behind her back. 

Sometimes, she would throw magic, if she was sure of an elemental weakness, but aside from it, and the occasional healing magic or potion should they need it, she hung back on the fringes warily. 

There didn’t seem to be any need for verbal agreement for her to do it, but he seemed grateful to her every time she did it.

It wasn’t long until they started hearing voices. Ones that didn’t belong to fiends. 

“Turks.” Adult Cloud announced, then placed a finger on his lips for a signal of universal quiet. 

He looked down at Denzel. “Cover your ears.” He ordered softly. 

Denzel nodded and clapped his hands over his ears happily. 

Before really anyone could tell him he shouldn’t, he was rounding the tree roots, and threw a rather powerful set of ice magic at their feet, instantly freezing them to the ground where they stood. 

“Hey!” The female shrieked in surprise and outrage at being caught of guard. 

“Do I tell you two or Tseng that you’ve all fucked up several recent missions, now or later?” He questioned curiously. “—Throw a grenade and I will hurl it back at your head in a second. Hands where I can see ‘em.” He warned, glaring at the female. His tone lone was thick with warning.

She blinked in confusion on how he knew she was about to do that. She raised her hands.

By this time the others came running up, Mom Tifa at the back with a very confused, but still hands-over-ears Denzel. None of them were expecting the man to swear.

“You didn’t think you saw the Buster sword without its owner, and figured you didn’t fuck up? Come on—” He continued. He then was suddenly throwing one piece of his sword up and above him in a blink of an eye.

They all looked up to see another Turk, his hand gun being ripped from his hand, it tumbled into the mine as the sectional piece of his sword returned to him. 

“—You know there is only one. You fucked up.” He continued.

“What would you like us to do?” Tseng questioned, knowing he was severely outmatched, even if he was seeing double. 

“Admit it. You could have told Aerith you knew.” He looked towards Rude. “You had the mission to find him, and missed. You didn’t see the ShinRa soldiers? Went the other way? Hear their radio chatter? You have access to the same frequencies.” He questioned.

By now, several key indicators in, they knew he was talking about Zack.

And their involvement in it. Or rather, their lack of involvement in it.

“And you know of this information, how, exactly?” Tseng questioned coolly, ignoring Elena’s verbal protests.

Reno was silent in repent, almost.

“Answer my question first. Or I will throw you off the ravine you stand aside with all the strength I have in one hand.” He warned. 

All three Turks could see the mako glimmering in his eyes violently in the dim light.

They must have decided to not test him, or ask more questions.

“A slight on our hand.” Tseng amended. 

The ripple over his back told them all it was absolutely the wrong thing to say. 

And the sudden angry glower in his face told the Turks up front they fucked up.

“A slight?! They both saved your life in Modeoheim and Junon, and that’s the only answer you can come up with for the past five years!? A slight!” He thundered loudly. 

They hadn’t heard Cloud ever this angry. But now they knew what it sounded like.

They all took a resounding mutual mute vote that they didn’t like the sound of it, not one little bit. 

“Good news, Tseng! Me, and Cloud here, are backwater experts!”

“Good! Carry on!”

Tseng looked actually chastised, and looked to Aerith, and bowed. 

“I apologise for finding him too late, and for not mentioning it to you afterwards. I was ordered not to. Against my wishes.” He said as quietly as he could with their distance.

Aerith looked about ready to cry at his words, cementing in what she already knew.

“Word of advice from been there, done that.” He started. 

Even if they didn’t want to, they had no choice but to listen to him. 

“When your moral code goes against your job? Stop doing it.” He advised. Then glared. “Now, if you’re not going to do anything useful, back off and get out of my sight before I throw my sword at all of your faces.” He warned in time for the ice magic to melt. He glared at Elena. “And don’t throw a grenade that I’ll just throw back at your head.” He warned her.

They backed off with their hands in their air. 

He growled until he didn’t smell them anymore. 

They figured they weren’t returning when he stowed his sword. 

“Cloud?” Mom Tifa asked in concern. 

Denzel was looking back and forth, oblivious, his hands still covering his ears.

He shrugged one shoulder. “… Learnt recently from Reeve that Tseng gave them a mission to find us before the ShinRa military did. So they knew what happened. They could have told Aerith what happened, returned her letters, and explained Zack was never in a position to receive or write back. There was no one for them to tell about me if I died, that I don’t care about. But they knew about them.” He protested. 

He seemed genuinely upset about it, and he looked at Aerith, stricken. “I don’t know if I should apologise to you, for not remembering he died, or apologising to Zack when I get back. Both. Probably both.” He muttered, looking away.

At the jab at himself for not remembering, Cloud flinched so hard he took a step back.

Tifa caught his arm. 

“Sorry.” Cloud muttered anyway.

“Hey,” She offered, and he shook his head, despondent and clueless as to how to react.

He wasn’t trembling, and there was no mako-green filter over his eyes, but he felt the surrounding walls pull inwards.

Tifa was surprised that he latched onto her hand, in need of her support. She gripped him back. If he required her reassurance that she was there, she would gladly give it in a heartbeat.

The rest of them noted the warning glance Mom Tifa gave to Denzel, and the resulting one step back and nod the kid did in response, still hands over ears, once he did, she was off to her Cloud. 

He still looked a little peeved, but so incredulously lost for answers at the same time.

They weren’t surprised that one hand went to his, and another went to one of his cheeks.

In an instant, she had his attention. 

“Tifa.” He pleaded. 

This time they heard the conversation in how he said her name. What he couldn’t get himself to say. His asking for direction. For her to help him. For her to tell him whether he was drowning. That he needed her help.

“You’re allowed to be angry.” She stated. “It doesn’t make you him.” She shook her head several times. They didn’t need to hear the name Sephiroth for them to know that’s who she was referring to. “Zack was your best friend and mentor, and you’re allowed to be angry they weren’t there to help when they should have been.” She said softly. They saw the trembling breaking across his face, as if he was losing the battle of holding himself together. The trembling that set in on his shoulders. “No one has given you a timeline on how long you should grieve for. Grieve when you grieve, Cloud. But it’s tied your everyday down long enough.” She admitted. 

It seemed, by telling him he could, he dropped the pretence and then equally dropped his head onto her shoulder and hid his face away.

They didn’t hear sobbing. Or screaming. Or anything that would lead them to believe he was actually grieving. 

But it was in the way he held her close, in the small tremble in his shoulders, in the grip of her hand had on his hair.

Similarly, what probably should have taken longer, only took a minute before he was pulling away, clean faced and nodding his gratitude. 

“I’m good.” He summed up. She gave him an eyebrow raise. “I’ll talk to Zack later.” He answered.

She smiled sadly, but seemed to understand the undertone of farewell in his tone wasn’t for her, but for the man he was talking about. 

It was then he looked and noticed Denzel, and pointed to his ear. 

Denzel sighed in relief and put his hands down. 

“That went on for a little longer than I thought it would, I’m sorry.” Adult Cloud apologised.

Denzel shrugged his shoulders. “Rude sure was acting, well, rude. He isn’t like that where we came from.” He noted, skipping up to his parents easily. 

They were surprised to know the kid actually did as he was told, and hadn’t heard a single word.

Denzel could figure something went down and hugged his father’s waist in comfort.

He grinned happily when he felt his father’s gloved fingers fall into his hair appreciatively. 

“Where’d Reno go? I’ve never seen Rude without him.” Denzel quipped curiously. 

Adult Cloud groaned in annoyance. “Hopefully somewhere else and not here pissing me off.” He grumbled. “I should have thrown him off the cliff.” He added in disdain. 

Denzel giggled at the fake threat, then tugged on his pant leg. “Which way now?” He questioned.

Adult Cloud threw up his free hand in one direction. “That way. Don’t wander off.” He warned. 

Denzel scoffed. Like he was going five paces away from his father’s side, let alone away from his eyesight in this dimly lit place. Even if he could see better than most of them.

/

/

From the amount of concerned looks he was getting from Tifa, he could tell him being quiet for the last two hours was concerning her. He realised that with his jaw locking, he had tried to sign several times, but aborted it once he realised what he was doing. She wouldn’t understand.

But he had too much going on in his head that wasn’t even being caused by the mako-tinged parts of him that were still being held back by the potion.

Oh, he could feel it prowling and clawing at the back of his mind, eager to be let back in.

If anything, it was confusing him more, and he felt himself stay by Tifa’s side.

There he was never confused.

“Tifa?” He muttered. 

She looked at him, happy he called her. 

“Favour?” He questioned quietly, trying to not get anyone else’s attention. 

She nodded eagerly. “Anything.” She answered. 

“Can you watch? Make sure I don’t…?” He tried to ask.

Not that he was sure how to ask that of her. Or anyone. How could he casually ask anyone to watch him for signs he was going to snap? Was that right of him?

But he tried, and he flexed his hand. 

Tifa looked at the gesture, then back to his confused face. 

But she nodded, getting him all the same. 

“Sure.” She said gently, a small smile. “Thank you for trusting me.” She added. 

He scrunched his nose up. “You’re not the one to be mistrusted, Tifa.” He denied.

If he had learnt anything from the past, two days? Yeah. It was him that shouldn’t be trusted, and thrown to the wolves at the earliest opportunity. 

She shook her head vehemently, and took his hand. 

“This version of you?” She said, glancing meaningfully at him up and down. “This one I trust. This one is you. This you is Cloud, and he has saved me more times than I know.” She answered. 

He just stared at her, dumbfounded.

“I haven’t done anything.” He muttered, looking away. 

The only thing he has done is left her for dead. And he would never forgive himself for that.

He paused when she put a hand on his arm. “Hey—” She protested. 

“Hey! Lovebirds!” Barret was calling out. Tifa felt Cloud flinch under her hand. “Don’t get left behind!” He warned. 

They looked to see the rest had moved on, now looking back to them. 

Cloud sighed in vexation, fixed the Buster sword, and moved on. 

Tifa, worriedly, caught up, staying at his side. 

“Sorry.” She muttered.

She looked them over, and noted they weren’t angry, but concerned. 

“… You okay…?” Adult Cloud offered, looking them both over in concern. 

Cloud’s nose scrunched up, and she looked between them worried. 

“I don’t know…?” She answered. 

“Maybe get out of here first…” Cloud muttered. 

The adult versions of them nodded. 

“That I can do. This way.” He offered, pointing to where the Turks had scuttled off towards. 

That way it was then. 

They then came to a part where the bridge was misaligned. 

And they heard Adult Cloud sigh in annoyance. 

“Denz.” He called.

The kid looked up, eager. 

“Stay with Tifa.” He ordered gently. 

Denzel nodded, and took a step towards his mother.

Then he was easily jumping the vast space, to the other side of the cavern, then dropped out of sight. 

Half hour later, several battles they could only hear that they saw Mom Tifa flinch at, several large boulders hurled into the void between the two caverns, and even a cart, the mechanism for the bridge realigned.

The girls cheered in appreciation when it allowed them to cross, even Red hummed out he was grateful. 

Then he jumped back down to them, not looking worse for wear for being going by himself for half an hour. 

“Cloud?” Mom Tifa checked in any case. 

He literally shrugged his shoulders at her, with a small smile, and she chuckled.

By the time they saw the sun again, they had been underground for at least half a day.

They noted the weary stance Adult Cloud got towards the exit, and they noticed why, with a number of Remnants gathered there. A few of them were attempting to stumble forward, when their movements caught the notice of a rather hungry and large condor, which swooped down and took one in its claws, and flew off with an easy meal.

Mom Tifa flinched and covered Denzel quickly. 

“Oh my god…” Tifa was the one to say. 

“He ain’t coming back.” Barret acknowledged sadly.

They watched warily that now most of them tried to stumble their way down, and looking in their direction, they had found Junon. 

“Huh.” Adult Cloud hummed, they all turned to him. “Forgot what Junon Cannon looked like.” He muttered. 

“You forgot they moved it?” Mom Tifa queried in concern.

Adult Cloud shook his head. “Nah—”

Denzel was suddenly pointing towards Junon. 

“It’s the gun from Midgar!” He piped up, looking from it to his parents. 

“It’s point of origin.” Adult Cloud answered. 

“They moved it?! It’s huge!” Denzel cried. “How’d they move it!?” He asked, bouncing on his toes. Not realising his sentiments were being agreed to with everyone outside of his family.

Adult Cloud blinked, then looked to his Tifa. “Did I know that at one point?” He asked, genuinely curious if he had forgotten the details, or truly wasn’t around for when they actually moved it. 

Mom Tifa shook her head, looking painful. Denzel was distracted by trying to figure out how large the gun was, and Cloud had to yank him back from nearly falling over the ledge when he climbed up on top of the railing.

“Careful.” Cloud muttered in confusion at how he suddenly had grabbed the kid.

The kid grinned up at him happily. “Thanks!” He said happily.

“That happened after the Northern Crater, when you had mako poisoning the second time.” She muttered, while Denzel was distracted. 

How many times did this man need to be poisoned?!

He blinked. “I’m alright.” He told her softly. 

There was a heavy pain in their voices, one they were glad Cloud was somehow distracting Denzel for. 

“But you weren’t!” She breathed. “Back then, after you fell, I seriously thought you were dead.” She cried. 

He pulled her into him. “I know. I’m sorry.” He apologised. 

She thumped him on his chest. “Not your fault.” She gripped.

“But I’ll apologise again, in any case.” He offered. 

She softly thumped his chest again.

Denzel completely lost it at the baby chocobo fetching them for help.

If he had a camera, it would have been filled in the first five seconds. 

“We need to show Marlene them!” Denzel fussed. 

Adult Cloud blinked down at the kid, in confusion. Then looked to Mom Tifa. 

“Where has this kid been hiding?” He asked, vexation colouring his tone.

Mom Tifa chuckled. “I like it.” She answered.

Adult Cloud hummed, then sat down on the unbroken bench, moving his sword out of the way as he did with a little tired sigh.

Chapter Text

I remember tears streaming down your face when I said, “I’ll never let you go!” when all those shadows almost killed your light. I remember you said, “Don’t leave me here alone!” But all that’s dead and gone, and passed tonight. Don’t you dare look out your window! Darling, everything’s on fire. The war outside our door keeps raging on. Hold on to this lullaby, even when the music’s gone. Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You’ll be alright. No one can hurt you now. Come morning light…
You and I’ll be safe and sound.

— The Civil Wars & Taylor Swift (Safe & Sound)

7. Safe & Sound

Adult Cloud blinked down at the kid, in confusion. Then looked to Mom Tifa. 

“Where has this kid been hiding?” He asked, vexation colouring his tone.

Mom Tifa chuckled. “I like it.” She answered.

Adult Cloud hummed, then sat down on the unbroken bench, moving his sword out of the way as he did with a little tired sigh.

“Are you alright?” Mom Tifa was immediately asking. 

Adult Cloud hummed, even smiled softly when she sat next to him.

He was watching as Denzel, no care in the world, was sitting in the dirt and dust with the baby chocobo, who seemed over the moon that he was receiving the fuss.

Red was stretching out next to him, grateful for the respite. 

The others were pitched around them, not minding either. 

“I might be a little too used to using Fenrir, and not walking. How’s that for losing the village part of me?” He said in mirth. 

Mom Tifa snorted. 

“Oh no. You haven’t lost it. Just wait until your accent comes back when you forget to control your speech.” Mom Tifa giggled. 

This was news. He has been hiding a what?

Neither of them saw Barret grin victoriously at this little tidbit of information he could totally use later as blackmail.

He glared at her. “I thought I told you to forget about that!” He playfully hissed at her. 

She laughed. “Which of us has the better memory here?” She giggled. 

They watched as he poked her in the ribs in jib.

She giggled in retort. “At least Yuffie hasn’t caught on that you have it. You’ll never hear the end of it!” She added. 

Adult Cloud groaned in dismay. “Just forever distract her with materia, or something. Dangle them from the bar’s eaves, they’ll be great sun catchers. Because she will tell Vincent. And that I will not allow.” He muttered. 

Mom Tifa muffled a laugh. “How he puts up with her, I don’t know.” She said. 

“By glaring at her, and not hearing half of what she says most of the time.” He stated. 

Mom Tifa blinked, then laughed. 

“I said how does he, not you, Cloud!” She laughed.

“Same difference.” He hissed, shrugging one shoulder easily.

“You love her.” She retorted.

“True. But she’s a hassle.” He said, leaning back.

Mom Tifa barked a laugh. “Everyone is a hassle to you!” She said happily. 

He frowned, suddenly looking worried. 

“You’re never a hassle.” He muttered. Then blinked. “The kids aren’t either. I’m the hassle.” He protested, as if he thought he needed to remind her.

She giggled. But shook her head. “You’re Cloud, but you’re my Cloud, not a hassle.” She answered, running her fingers through his hair. 

He looked a little awed she didn’t agree with him and a little confused at how they ended up at the topic, but didn’t dislodge her with a little confused hum.

Cloud caught the victorious grin that Barret finally had on his face.

“Stow it!” He hissed, glaring at him. 

This only caused Barret to laugh loudly.

It caused the baby chocobo to shriek in panic. 

Denzel to pout verbally when he moved away. 

Adult Cloud glared. “Really?” He muttered.

Mom Tifa smiled. “Time’s up, I guess. You okay to move on?” She questioned softly.

He rolled his eyes and got back to his feet, stretching his arms over his head as he did. 

“To Junon, it is.” He said tiredly. 

“At least they have an inn, there?” She asked with mirth still clinging to her tone and face. 

“You think I can get away with tying Yuffie to a bed, or locking her in a closet, so she won’t go after Rufus?” He remarked as he started walking.

Denzel was the first to see they were moving, and bolted up and to his father’s side. He grinned happily when his father swished up his hair with his gloved hand, absentmindedly. 

It caused the boy to emit a happy giggle.

“You’re the adult of the situation, Cloud.” Mom Tifa reminded. 

Everyone heard the groan of dismay from the man in question. “Who decided that? Gross.” He muttered. 

“You did. When you decided to co-own a home, then a business, then a second one to help with the first, and adopt a child with me. That’s adult behaviour.” Mom Tifa said with a laugh.

“A poor choice.” He looked down at his kid. “Denzel. I’m an adult now.” He cajoled.

Denzel laughed. “I get your bike.” He announced. 

Adult Cloud looked jokingly appalled. 

“No!” He cried, mirth in his tone. “Betrayed by my own son. How dare you.” He added, easily picking the child up, throwing him onto his shoulder and tickling his outer side. All the while with a grin on his face.

The kid burst out into loud screeching laughter as he squirmed. 

He turned to Mom Tifa. “Tifa. I’m keeping him.” And he walked off towards the direction of Junon.

While they stood where they stood, frozen, Denzel was screeching in laughter.

But Mom Tifa suddenly bent over in laughter as loudly as Denzel was.

They stared at her, in rising incredulousness.

She had raised her arms to wrap around her waist.

“Oh boy,” Mom Tifa tried to stop laughing, wiping away tears. “Not opposed, but where has this you been hiding?” She laughed, happily.  

“Are you…okay…?” Tifa asked nervously. 

Mom Tifa chuckled a few timed before she stood back up. “Hmm. Yeah. This,” She gestured to where her Cloud had walked off several times. They could still hear Denzel screeching in laughter. So he hadn’t gone too far. “This? Totally new. Not complaining. He was totally worried about children. He’ll never have one of his own, figures with his biology, and any chance to pass down the S gene, it is a given he never will.” She paused to look at where he walked off, happily. 

He has a what gene?

Then she looked back, happier than ever that they decided to table the question. 

“But he was dying at the time,” She suddenly glared at Cloud, who blinked in surprise at her addressing him. “Seriously. Stop trying to die on me. Gives me anxiety. First, it was the whole ‘I’m-Totally-Degrading’. You’re not, by the way. Surprise. Then it was the ‘I’m-Dying-From-Geostigma’. Fair. That one was killing you. Aerith fixed it. You’re fine.” She said.

Everyone stared in confusion.

But Cloud nodded firmly in any case. He was against giving any version of Tifa anxiety. If dying was going to give her that? Then nope. No dying here.

Mom Tifa snorted. 

“I also give it five minutes.” She giggled. 

This caused them to frown.

“Give…what five minutes?” Aerith asked nervously. 

This caused her to giggle, then she looked to her younger version. “Five minutes. Watch.” She advised happily. 

For reasons, they didn’t know. 

She hadn’t moved. 

So they didn’t either. 

She seemed to be waiting for something.

Denzel’s peels of laughter slowly died off in the distance.

But five minutes passed easily.

“Tifa!” Adult Cloud was yelling.

“And time!” Mom Tifa said triumphantly. “I married a Frisbee, I swear. Faithful, nonetheless, mind you.” She laughed easily. Cloud wasn’t sure if he should be affronted or not, at being related to a Frisbee. But before he could retort a defence, she was then looking to where his voice was coming from. “Coming!” She called. 

“You actually better not be!” He warned sternly.

This got several to splutter in embarrassment, while Mom Tifa and Barret laughed.

They saw him pout, once he realised she hadn’t moved, and he came to find her.

“Mean.” He muttered indignantly. 

Mom Tifa grinned. 

Denzel was still grinning like he had just found a pile of Gil.

They weren’t sure if they were surprised or unsurprised that the rest of the trek to Under Junon was easy and without married banter. They noticed that several fiends saw them, and skittered away in panic and fear of them.

It was only until they saw the sign that Adult Cloud stopped with a curious hum.

“Cloud?” Mom Tifa questioned. 

He didn’t say anything, as he stared up at the conscription sign, then immediately started to dig into one of his pockets.

“Denzel.” He called. 

Denzel looked at his father eagerly, only to splutter in what sounded like awe when the man dropped to his height and placed what looked like goggles on his face. 

“Dad…? You don’t have Fenrir here…?” He questioned as Adult Cloud fixed the straps around his ears, tightening them to his smaller face. 

“Keep them on while we’re near people.” Adult Cloud muttered. “Explaining a futuristic deadly disease that is caused by a future Meteor crashing into Midgar that was saved by the Life stream will not at all help explain as to why you have mako infused eyes.” Adult Cloud explained, once happy with the straps, he stood up. 

A what crashed into Midgar?!

The Life stream did what?!

Well. If anything, it explained why on the future map it looked like Midgar had exploded all at once. But what?!

When Adult Cloud moved away, they could see that the riding goggles given to the kid, completely blacked out his eyes, even the glimmer of mako could not be seen through the dark tinted protective glass. 

But everything else the man just dropped on them like it was fine?

Totally not fine! It was just another thing tabled to ask when they were safely indoors.

But the kid looked completely giddy to be wearing the goggles in the first place, it caused his father to smile. 

“If it makes you that happy, I’ll get you some when we get back to Edge?” He asked, starting to move into the village. 

“Really!?” Denzel screeched. 

Adult Cloud looked at him with a frown. “Yes…?” His tone was confused. “If I’m going to be taking you and Marlene to school and picking you up most days, probably best to, actually.” He answered as he paused.

There was a sudden happy screech, and the kid launched himself at his father. 

They hadn’t gotten two steps further.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” The boy said, muffled from his father’s middle. 

They heard the confused hum Adult Cloud gave out, at the reaction. 

“They’re just glasses, Denz?” He questioned, his hands going to his kid’s shoulders. 

The kid shook his head. 

Then came the heavier frown. “Hey,” He muttered, leaning over the kid. “You’re crying? Did I hurt you? Are they too tight?” He questioned, fearfully. He looked up to Mom Tifa, who looked teary-eyed. Seeing her, he blinked in panic. “What did I do?” He panicked. 

Denzel seemed to be incapable of doing anything but shake his head.

“Maybe do this at the inn.” Mom Tifa advised. “I’ll explain if Denzel can’t.” She explained. 

Adult Cloud nodded, and easily picked his kid up. 

Denzel hid his face into his shoulder and wrapped his arms around his neck. 

He crowded his head gently. “Hey, I didn’t mean to make you cry?” He muttered sadly.

But he turned into the village quietly. 

Naturally, they were stopped by the town’s sheriff. 

Who easily wrote them off and pointed them in the direction of the inn with a warning they would be hunted for the Gil attached to their names.

Then she pointed her head at Denzel. 

“What’s with the kid?” She questioned. 

“Lost his family when the plate fell. We figured it would be best to leave Midgar.” Mom Tifa piped up.

This made everyone flinch in awareness of just how they had gotten hold of Denzel. They really hadn’t put two and two together of what Adult Cloud and Mom Tifa meant by the fact he was raised in Midgar, and being adopted meant to the kid, until now. 

Something inside Tifa grounded to a halt when she realised that there would be a tinier version of Denzel back at Midgar. 

Alone and scared. 

A child, who needed their help.

She had to put everything into stopping herself from turning around in a panic. 

Then came the feeling of betrayal when she stalled her feet. 

This child who would eventually call her his mother, and Cloud his father, was somewhere in Midgar, probably heavily injured, and afraid…was alone? He needed her. And she was telling herself to not move? 

“Kalm not do it for you?” Rhonda questioned. 

“No room.” Adult Cloud grumbled. 

Her eyes lit up in recognition. “We’re next in line, huh? Thanks for the heads-up.” She noted, then jerked her head into the village. “Good luck.” She added.

Then they were let into the village without so much as a look back. 

Tifa was forced out of her thoughts when she accidentally walked into Cloud. 

He caught her arm so she didn’t bounce off him, or fall over. 

“…You good…?” He questioned in worry. 

“Sorry.” She muttered. “… Just thinking about what they said…” She tried to explain.

He hummed. “I get it.” He announced. 

“You too?” She asked, blinking in surprise. 

He eyed her at her response. “… I’m gonna guess it’s probably not the same as you, but…” He said awkwardly. 

She giggled quietly, but allowed him his peace, at least until they got to the inn. 

They needed to rush to catch up to the others, who were on their way to the local inn. 

They hadn’t taken two steps in towards asking about rooms, when a young girl was crying out for help.

“You lot are fighters!” The innkeeper insisted. “Please help Priscilla! Your rooms are free for as long as you need them, if you do!” He yelled. 

“Denz.” Adult Cloud warned. The kid nodded, and with that he let him down. Adult Cloud glared at the innkeeper. “Keep my kid while we’re helping, and it’s a deal.” He noted. 

The man nodded his head several times. 

“Chair.” He pointed to the chair. “Sit.” He glanced to his kid. “Stay.” He warned as he pointed to the ground sternly. 

He watched as Denzel nodded and sat in the nearest chair. Only then did he move out of the inn, and to Priscilla screaming for help.

“I never asked how Yuffie got herself into this situation.” He hummed thoughtfully. 

“You think she’ll tell you?” Mom Tifa asked as Priscilla ran off to the docks.

Adult Cloud sighed in annoyance. “Probably not.” He grumbled.

Mom Tifa snickered in delight.

But there in the shallows was a young teenager, being accosted by a fiend. 

And then a dolphin was tossing her out of the water. 

They noticed that Mom Tifa and Adult Cloud sheared off towards the man-made dock. And they quickly followed, seeing the fiend was making its way there.

Cloud could see his own mind whirling, and the glance he gave him. 

Distraction and bait?

Got it.

He nodded, and with it the older version of himself easily jumped up onto the cliff cropping near the pier. With his sword lighting up, he had a very good guess that he was preparing to use magic of some sort, and a lot of it.

Mom Tifa picked up a grill and launched it at the Terror, momentarily staggering it, then with lightning infused gloves she rained a series of punches wherever she could hit.

Weak against lightning?

He could do that. 

It was only reachable with his sword for a second before it shook off its shock and dived back down into the water, bumping into the grates in anger, before rising back out. 

“Cloud!” Mom Tifa called as soon as it reappeared. 

In the next second, a powerful lightning attack zipped through the entire fiend, and it dropped useless and fried in mere seconds onto the pier. 

Cloud noted the lightning zipping around one of his elder’s gloved hands. 

“She’s not breathing!” Rhonda’s voice was yelling in panic. 

They were running, and then so were they.

With the remains of the magic, he put out his hand and let it fall onto the teenager, who shrieked into life and pain.

“What!” She screeched, rolling away in a second. Then she was pointing at them.

“Easy. They’re guests. This one was trying to save your life.” Rhonda explained. 

Then Yuffie groaned. “Oh yay. Go me.” She pouted.  

She was eyeing Adult Cloud with way too much interest. Both versions of Cloud noted it with varying degrees of distaste. 

“Eyes off.” Adult Cloud muttered. “Married.” He warned.

Yuffie then eagerly put all her interest on Cloud, who sighed in annoyance.

“Why me?” He muttered, looking to Tifa for help.

Tifa, who just giggled, and shrugged.

Of no help at all, then.

“Thank you very much!” Yuffie singsonged and ran off. 

“You’re welcome!” Barret reacted, then groaned in annoyance. 

“Bed time.” Adult Cloud muttered, then moved back to the inn.

Only to groan in annoyance when she jumped back into their faces.

“I have something I need to ask!” Yuffie was yelling. 

“Ask tomorrow, at the inn.” Barret ended up saying once she finished gushing over them. 

“This is why I fear Marlene and Denzel ageing into teenagers. I can barely stand Yuffie for five minutes.” Adult Cloud grumbled once the ninja ran off.

Mom Tifa laughed. “You could never stand Yuffie though, Marlene and Denzel, you’ve been fine with since the day you met them.” She advised. 

“She’s exhausting.” He muttered, then turned back to the inn.

Chapter Text

Far below the city’s glow, lie the flowers blooming in the shadows. I belong here with you. Though, the earth cries inside me. I will fly high into the storm, far from the light. I will be strong. Darkest skies, hollow eyes. But the stars burn brighter than you realise. It may be destiny that sheds our tears. You must leave me behind. Though the night howls inside you. You must fly, high into the storm, far from the light. You must be strong.
Because they need you.
You close your eyes now, and I will be gone.

— Kate Covington | Erutan (Aerith’s Theme)

8. Flower’s Blooming in the Church

As soon as they crossed the threshold, Denzel was on his father in seconds. 

“Are you okay?!” He asked in worry. 

Adult Cloud patted his head. “All good and the fiend is taken care off.” He answered. 

Denzel grinned up at him. “So cool!” He said in awe.

They at least got their rooms for free. And considering how many they took up? It would have charged more than what they probably could amass altogether. 

But with a quick glance into a few, Cloud noted none of them would be big enough to fit them all in to have the several conversations they would need to have before they moved on. So while the others picked out whatever rooms they had access to, he stalked off to find a common room, or some larger place they could use to commune. Though, he could gather they would convene now or later based on everyone being awake once they settled. He noted the setting sun as they returned as much as the next person.

Welp. He did indeed find a place that was communal up on the top floor of the inn. Now how to tell the rest of them to see if they wanted to use it now or in the morning, and those who they didn’t know to get lost for a time frame. 

He might need Tifa for that. 

He would snarl, and it would probably put them in hot water.

Tifa.

He needed Tifa.

So, he turned around and went looking for her.

He had noted which room she took.

If everyone else was going to sleep, maybe she would still be awake, and they could talk.

He really needed to talk to her. 

And probably to the other version of her as well.

For the potion. Or for her to give it to … herself, so he could have it if he didn’t realise he needed it?

Wow. Confusing. 

For the moment, he figured he was fine? His hand wasn’t shaking, and while he could feel the claws at the edge of his vision, it wasn’t tinged green, and only a little painful.

… He should probably mention it to her, though.

Welp. Just another thing he needed to put on the list of things he needed to talk to her about.

Somehow it just needed to go from his head, and out of his mouth. Something he still apparently struggled to do.

But at least whenever they’re from, Tifa had managed to pick up Cloud Speech.

Weird. But he should probably thank her for it later.

Her door opened when he was about to knock. 

“Cloud!” She said happily as he froze. “I was just gonna go look for you!” She cheered, grasped his frozen hand and yanked him in, cheerfully closing the door behind him. 

“Wanted to talk to you.” Cloud said softly.

She nodded. “I figured. Are you okay? Not hurting?” She asked. 

She wasn’t subtle. But, he figured, with this she couldn’t be. And he wouldn’t be allowed to be.

Cloud brought his palms up. 

“I think I’m okay?” He ended up questioning both of them.

He tried not to panic when she took both of his hands with her own to check. She closed her fingers around his to hold them gently. 

He blinked, but silently let her do what she wanted.

He wasn’t gonna shoo her away when he finally had her attention.

Hell no.

Tifa smiled at him gently. 

“I’m glad.” She said. 

Apparently he was okay. In her eyes.

And it was doing absolute wonders to his entire welfare that she hadn’t let go of his hands yet.

How to ensure she held them for as long as possible…?

He didn’t know how. But he would try his best.

“Did you manage to take down the ingredients for it?” Cloud managed to ask, around his own tongue revolting on him. 

She gripped his hands tighter. “Do you think you need it?” Her calm was giving way to worry.

He shook his head, and he felt her sigh in relief. “Not. But I will eventually.” He reminded. 

Tifa nodded. “Right.” She noted. “I’ll ask the next time I talk to her. I’ve got one, in case you need it before then.” She added. 

Cloud smiled gently. “Thank you, Tifa.” He mumbled. 

She then tugged and sadly let one hand go, and led him to the only bed in the room. 

“Here. Sit.” She requested, and not at all was subtle, to push him.

He barely got a second to put the Buster sword against the wall in her impatience to get him to sit with her.

“Can I ask questions, or will it be too much?” Tifa asked gently.

She still had one of his hands, so he could assume the questions would be about that.

“You can try? Depends on the question. I might not know the answer right now.” He muttered. He didn’t want to disappoint her, or make her think he was lying, when he later remembered if he couldn’t right now.

She sided her head. “That’s fine. If you think you can’t answer, it’s okay. I won’t mind. I just…want to know something. I won’t be upset if you don’t know the answer, but if you do, please try to answer me.” She pleaded. 

He looked at her at the tone. 

“You don’t need to…” Cloud protested. 

She didn’t need to do that. Plead and beg. Never with him. It felt wrong.

He shook his head. “If I know the answer, I’ll answer.” He said. 

Cloud watched as she turned to him. He somehow had her full attention, and she grasped his other hand in between their laps. 

She paused for a second, to try to word her question. 

“Tifa?” He started first. 

Tifa looked up at him, surprise on her face. 

“First? I’m…sorry, for how I reacted in Kalm. You weren’t in the wrong.” He apologised. 

She immediately shook her head. “No! That’s—!” She gripped his hands. “No, you were there. I’m sorry that I couldn’t see through to you. You must’ve tried so hard, and I threw it in your face!” She protested.

Cloud stalled. 

This…? This was not how he projected this entire conversation in his head to go. At all.

“You should have. I failed.” He mumbled.

She yanked on his hands in protest of him looking away.

“Look at me.” She ordered gently. He immediately looked to her. “Never have you failed me.” She added sternly.

He felt his face scrunch up.

“I left you there to die, Tifa. How is that not—?” He stalled when she put a finger to his mouth delicately, dropping one of his hands to do so.

“Stop. Please.” She muttered, softly, pleadingly. “As if what you did next wasn’t more important.” She insisted.

Cloud shook his head, she retook his hand. “You don’t get it.” He implored. 

Tifa looked to him.

“Then explain it.” She asked softly.

He jerked when he felt the claws clench down a little harder, but he shoved them away the best he could. 

Talking about it, made it worse, huh. Good to know for the future.

“You.” Cloud stated. Tifa blinked, not quite fluent in Cloud Speech yet. “Are important. To me. More so. No one else.” He tried to explain.

She saw the flinch around his eyes as he attempted to explain.

This was hurting him to explain, somehow.

She didn’t know how she knew. But she knew from the little flinches around his eyes, the glitter in them in protest, and the small body jerks he was making.

But, oh, what he said made the butterflies in her stomach loose. How she needed to hear it.

“I’m important to you, huh?” She echoed.

Cloud blinked that she understood him, and nodded. 

“Even back then?” Tifa questioned.

He gave her an unimpressed glance.

“Then why didn’t you let me know you were there? I even asked Zack after you, he gave me this weird shaky look, and bolted the second after I did.” Tifa exploded in questions.

Tifa heard the intake of breath he took as he fought around the pain.

She gripped his hands, just to make sure they weren’t trembling. They weren’t. 

“Zack knew. That I was from Nibelheim. Told him I didn’t want you to know. He told me I was an idiot.” He summed up lamely.

Tifa frowned. “Why did it matter so much you got to be a SOLDIER?” She questioned. 

That part of the promise? Never really made sense to her. 

She felt him flinch at her words. 

“I just…wanted to be better, so they couldn’t tell me to stay away, or hurt you again. I wanted to be seen, Tifa.” He explained softly to their hands, not looking up at her.

He could feel the claws pulling. And more pain.

So he focused on her hands, on her heartbeat, on her breathing. 

She was still there. Still Tifa. Still the one to be trusted in any scenario over him and what he thought. 

“Be seen? By whom, exactly…?” She asked, clueless.

At this remark, he looked up, clear surprise written all over his face at how clueless she was. “By you. No one else mattered.” He said.

Tifa stared at him, dumbfounded. “So…so you left the village, so I could see you?” Tifa questioned. Trying to make sure she had everything right. 

“Your father scared me. As did everyone else. They said I would hurt you more. Not be right for you. Couldn’t provide your lifestyle. Told me to stay away.” Cloud remembered, looking away from her, guilty. “So, I figured if I could become stronger, then I could be someone who could protect you. But I didn’t, couldn’t even do that—” He paused when she gripped his hands tighter, and looked back to her. 

He baulked when she started crying. 

Cloud leaned forward in confusion. 

“Tifa?” He asked worriedly.

Grunted in confusion when she moved her head to his. 

“Do you want to know the most important part of why I made the promise to you?” Tifa asked, staring him down, making sure he was looking. She felt him nod. “The reason I made it was that you would come back. I never cared how you came back. As long as you came back alive. I didn’t care if you were a SOLDIER, or even if you hadn’t gotten into the military at all! All I cared about was that you were alive!” She insisted. 

Being this close, she could see the familiar blue in his eyes that she loved as a child. She couldn’t help but latch onto the parts of his eyes that were the deep blue she knew of her Cloud. That he was fighting.

He couldn’t help but stare at her in disbelief.

“But I’m not—” He protested.

She shook her head. “I literally. Do. Not. Care. If you were SOLDIER first class, or not. Cloud. Why can’t you understand that?” She questioned, putting more pressure onto his forehead with hers.

“I didn’t think you’d see me without it.” He muttered.

“I already did see you, Cloud. I was always trying to get your attention. No matter how many times you ran away, or how many times the other kids, or the adults told me to stay away. I saw you. I still see you.” Tifa insisted. 

Under all the mako and the everything else that rhymed with laboratory torture? She could see the little blue-eyed boy fighting the everything with all he had. 

Behind all that mako and the glitter that took over his eyes. 

Still see it made him that boy from the water tower.

Yeah. She could see how any version of her married this man.

She just wished he wasn’t tortured and mentally tormented over it. 

Tifa watched as he looked at her in awe, before he grunted with too much pain and dropped his head onto her shoulder.

“Tifa.” He called faintly. 

Then the trembling in his hands came, and she was in a rush to take his wrist bracers and gloves off. 

Five minutes too much, she scolded herself, pulling his palms up and pouring the potion into them.

She watched in relief that he still had some idea of himself to rub his hands together, then to move his head to run them over his face.

She screeched in panic when she couldn’t catch him in time when he started to slide to the side. 

“Cloud!” She panicked, chasing after his unconscious body as he hit the bed. 

He didn’t respond.

His eyes were closed. 

She whined in panic and rested her head against his chest to hear his heart beat and feel his breathing.

Both of which he was doing. Faintly.

But it wasn’t enough for her. So she bolted for the people who knew better.

/

/

Cloud wasn’t surprised Denzel was down as soon as he found his way onto a bed, he was just grateful he was lying on his back so he could take the protective glasses off his head gently. He laid them on the bedside, so the kid knew where they were when he woke up. He would hopefully remember to put them back on before he left the room.

Cloud wouldn’t be able to explain how a child had mako-enhanced eyes. Not without looking like a lunatic.

Not many people would believe the ‘I’m-from-the-future’ stick.

No. They’d see a kid with mako, and freak.

Like they all did before they realised it was what Geostigma sometimes left behind in the children.

Then they freaked out more so.

“He down?” Tifa was asking from the other side of the room, closing the window curtains.

Cloud hummed as he gently took off Denzel’s shoes. “Out like a light.” He answered. 

The kid didn’t even protest to being moved to under the covers.

With how late it was, and no younger version of him knocking at the door an hour after they got into the room, he could assume they would do the meet-and-greet in the morning before Yuffie decided to bombshell it. And Roche. If he remembered correctly. Debatable.

“Tifa?” He questioned quietly, staring at Denzel.

He heard her turn around, and hum at him.

“Denzel before, he was crying?” He tried to explain to her.

Tifa nodded. “About the glasses?” He nodded. “It wasn’t about them.” He felt himself frown. “It was about the idea you’d be home, or at least be able to pick them up from school most days, Cloud.” She explained. 

Cloud blinked in realisation. He hadn’t realised it was still such a big deal for the children.

But he should know better about wounds and scars taking more time than what people thought they would to heal by now.

He heard the rushing of steps, and paused to turn around, one hand going to his Fusion sword carefully. 

He noted that Tifa must have seen the motion, and reacted, going to her pockets for her gloves, then looking to the door when she could hear the running footsteps as well.

Then came the hurried, panicked knocking. 

Cloud went to answer it, only to be surprised to see the panicked, stricken look of the younger version of Tifa. 

“He just passed out!” She nearly yelled in a puff of panicked breath.

Yeah. That got them both moving, unsurprisingly.

Tifa ushered them into her room, and shut the door behind her. 

A panicked whine clambering up her throat. 

They took him in. 

“And what were you doing before?” Mom Tifa was asking gently.

Tifa shook her head. “Talking. Just talking. I asked him if he could. I was watching his hand. Nothing until ten minutes ago. I gave him the potion, watched him use it. Then…!” She gestured. Then looked back to them. “He’s not hurt, is he? Can just talking hurt him?” She tried not to freak.

“I’ll check him.” Adult Cloud muttered, then warily moved over to the bed. 

Tifa looked to the older version of herself, beseechingly. “Did I hurt him?” She asked again.

Stars, she didn’t know what she would do, if they said she did. Aside from cry in panic.

“Cloud?” Mom Tifa questioned, curiously.

They watched as the older man poked the bare-adults side.

And got no response, then the gentle move of his head got a sleepy exhalation, but nothing else. 

“Huh.” He hummed. “Out like a light. Like Denzel. He’s exhausted.” He said, turning back to them. “What exactly were you talking about, and for how long? You must have said something that shocked him. To be fair, this early, you could do just about anything, and it would shock him.” He said, shrugging one shoulder.

Tifa’s shoulders heaved in relief. 

Just a shock. And the topic issue with the need of the potion.

Alright then.

Compliments about that time down to a minimum then. She could do that. She’d just supplement it for complimenting him in the now, then. Easy-peasy.

“Um. Not long? Just that back when we were younger, that I kinda didn’t care what he turned out to be, just as long as he came back home alive.” She muttered. 

She heard the downright amused snort from the older version of Cloud and immediately looked back up.

“Oh yeah. Shock. Huge shock. You probably even offended the S genes with that one. Good job.” He praised, looking almost ready to clap. 

He then gave a small chuckle.

“But seeing as he’s fine. Tifa, you have any more potions?” He questioned, seeing the empty vial on the floor, he picked it up. 

Mom Tifa nodded, and exchanged the empty for a new one. “In case you guys need it in the night.” He added, placing it on the bedside. “But I’ll move him, though, if you’re not comfortable with him staying?” He offered. 

Tifa immediately shook her head. 

“No!” She protested, then checked herself. “No, I don’t—he can stay. I don’t mind. Actually helps with nightmares being close.” She muttered, extremely embarrassed to admit it. 

But he just nodded. “Feeling’s mutual. Alright, knock if anything goes wrong. But I need sleep just as much as any other Cloud.” He fared welled. 

Mom Tifa giggled. “Good going!” She praised, and she followed her Cloud out. 

Tifa stared at the closed door for a little longer. 

Wait. Just what exactly was S genes?

And how did she manage to offend them?

Chapter Text

All the lights, up in the sky. All the times that I spent by your side. Taught me love, and taught me pain. Things that I could never have explained. Would it be too much if I asked to stay forever? Everything feels warmer and safer. Anything, we can get through together. Watching you, go through all that you do. I never knew until I felt it too. But now I know that love is beautiful. There’s so much more that I want to find out with you. Now that I’m with you. Now I’m not alone, a family of my own. Feelings deep inside come flowing from my eyes.
I get to go home with you. Home, sweet home. Home, with you.

— Gabby Borro (I’m With You)

9. I’m With You

Cloud didn’t know how or when he fell asleep, but he woke up regardless.

He slowly opened his painful eyes, and immediately stopped breathing.

Next to him.

Next to him was Tifa.

Asleep Tifa. 

Any part of his brain that wasn’t green soaked was stalling at the fact they had shared a bed. He must have crashed last night, been too much. 

Well. At least he knew his limits now. 

One compliment from her, apparently.

One that he wasn’t expecting. 

To be fair, he never expected her to say what she did. That he was seen by her so early. That she wanted him to come back. Never cared for her father’s harsh words of him.

Yeah, that sent dopamine to the tips of his ears to his toes. 

Cloud really couldn’t help but gently swipe her fringe from her face. 

And the gentle smile at her sleepy-awaking hum that followed. 

“Teef?” He muttered quietly, hoping to not startle her.

She hummed quietly. So he kept putting her fringe behind her ear, super aware that he had more strength in his fingers than he knew. 

He noticed her eyes slowly opening, tiredly. 

“You’re awake.” She ushered, then woke up. “You’re awake!” She celebrated happily. 

Then she pounced onto him. 

Cloud grunted when he forcibly exhaled at the excess weight he now had on his chest. He even was forced onto his back.

“I’m awake.” He said softly. 

He was momentarily stalled that her hands dug under him to hold him.

“And… I’m here?” He questioned, sneaking a look at his hand.

Yeah. He was here.

“I’m glad.” She muttered into his shoulder. 

He didn’t move her. 

He was absolutely damn well fine with letting her be this close.

Over the moon and seas, really.

She giggled, then leaned up on his chest to stare at him. 

“Hi.” She said. 

“Hey.” He answered in an amused huff.

“We should probably get up?” Tifa questioned. 

He rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He grumbled. 

This caused Tifa to laugh as she scrambled off him. 

At least she was happy.

/

/

In the time it took them to get up, and Cloud to wander into his own room to change and shower, the rest of them had found the commune area upstairs.

By the time he arrived, Denzel was already up and running around the room, chasing an amused Red. By the looks of it, Red didn’t seem to mind being chased by a child, who seemed to have more energy than his form could fit. 

Denzel had the goggles on from yesterday, which made him forcibly remember the probable reasons why the kid had way too much energy in the first place.

He noticed that the older version of him didn’t have his gloves on, and was tense around his eyes, like he was fighting a headache. Adult Cloud was watching everything warily, and in turn made him, and both versions of Tifa wary as well.

Cloud knew they needed to talk about something, several things, in fact, but for that second, he really couldn’t think of a single thing they needed to discuss. 

“Are you alright?” He heard Mom Tifa mutter from across the room.

“Being actually here, instead of just remembering it, is hard.” Adult Cloud answered, tightly back to her.

He watched as she gripped his hand.

“I’m here.” She added softly.

He hummed gratefully. “I know. Thank you.” He returned. 

Barret slammed down his cup, gaining everyone’s attention over breakfast. 

“So what’s this idea about not killing Rufus Shinra?” He questioned.

Ah. One of the something’s they needed to talk about.

Got it.

… What were the other something’s they needed to talk about?

Cloud watched as they looked at each other. He saw the second glance Adult Cloud made to Denzel, who was being distracted by Red, thankfully.

“No killing presidents of electric companies with private armies who have the ability to realise they have done the wrong thing and change for the better. Even if the way to it was poorly paved, he gets there in the end.” Adult Cloud announced, flooring everyone who was listening. 

That man was capable of change? For the better?!  

While they were gaping larger than a void, Adult Cloud sided his head in curiosity. “You think it’s too early to call Reeve, or wait unil Cait turns up?” He pondered. 

They had to ponder how and why this man was so close to Rufus Shinra and Reeve Tuesti, that had Cloud’s skin twitching in worry.

“What happens for them to change that drastically?” He almost demanded, coldly.

He heard the older version of him understandingly hum, like he knew where he was coming from. Ironically, he did. And he knew him better than he currently knew himself.

Cloud watched him lean back in his chair. 

“Many of them, and the Turks, included, had to reevaluate their lives, livelihood, and the direction they were going after three WEAPONS, Sephiroth walking around, and Meteor Fall all had a penchant for destroying Midgar and Junon for their actions.” He hummed. 

Three what?!

“They’ve harmed the Planet that badly?!” Aerith shrieked in panic. 

Both Mom Tifa and Adult Cloud jolted at her voice. It took a second of looking at the florist before either of them calmed down. 

“Yes.” Adult Cloud answered. 

Barret thumped a hand down on the able. 

“I knew we were right!” He crowed.

Adult Cloud eyed him. 

“So, yes. No killing Rufus. I’ll figure out how to distract Yuffie, somehow.” Adult Cloud muttered. 

Aerith raised her arm in the air. “Hi. Sorry. Question.” She asked. 

He frowned, but sided his head at her. 

“No offence, and you can like, not answer, if it’s too hard,” Aerith started, her eyes pinching in worry. If there was something they had all learnt from the past three days was that some questions were just too hard to answer currently. She saw his nod. “You say Sephiroth is dead, but we literally fought him, like, last week.” Aerith questioned. 

Cloud flinched. 

Adult Cloud leaned back in his chair.

“Make no mistake, I hurled him into the Life stream by his own sword, back in Nibelheim eight years ago. He is dead. He just doesn’t like staying that way.” Adult Cloud explained. “I don’t have the scars to prove being kebab’ed because I spent the next four years bathed in mako,” His hand went to just under one side of his chest, and frowned. “Zack and I? Did the best we could. Didn’t exactly know we were kinda making it worse.” He said, self reprimanding. 

“Hey,” Mom Tifa scolded, placing her hand on his arm. “You didn’t know any better. And technically he is dead. The first time we got five years. The next, we got two.” She explained, Adult Cloud looked to her, ready to answer, when she placed a finger over his mouth gently. Glare at the ready. “Ah! The third time he was definitely weaker, you got him down in like half an hour.” She scolded. “And Aerith helped against the Geostigma, I know.” She added, seeing the little frown.

Cloud was watching, interested in how she got that good at reading his visual cues, and rebutting him before he could even argue his point. Her hand didn’t move until he barely noticed the little nod he gave her.

Aerith was blinking at her being involved. “And you’re sure, Zack is…?” She asked in a mumble. 

Both looked back to her. 

“Unfortunately,” Adult Cloud answered, pained. “But I’m still punching him. He hit me on the head.” He hissed. 

So dead, but still somehow able to interact with the living, like Sephiroth?

Not at all confusing. 

“How, exactly?” Cloud found himself questioning. 

“Not like the same as Sephiroth. His consciousness is not gone, and lingers because of the Remnants and those alive with positive S genes. Remove those, and he won’t be able to interact, we’re sure. Pretty sure Aerith barred his other attempts, like Geostigma. Zack, even now, two years on, I don’t think he’s ready to dissolve quite so easily. Especially because he knows Sephiroth is still not fully dissolved. He won’t let himself rest.” He turned to Mom Tifa. “I might have to kick him.” He offered. 

Mom Tifa snickered in delight. “You know he’s waiting for you, right?” She questioned. 

Adult Cloud’s shoulders slumped as he groaned in annoyance. “A puppy, what did I say?” He grumbled. “I’m fine.” He added softly.

They saw how Mom Tifa eyed him in disbelief of the statement. 

“You should have been on house watch for, like, the past two years. You’ve tried to kill yourself, and you say you’re fine? Zack has reasons to be worried about you.” Mom Tifa gripped. 

They all blinked in understanding.

Tifa looked to Cloud in mounting worry. 

He wanted to…?

Adult Cloud shook his head. 

“I’m not.” He stated.

She stared at him, leaning in forward to watch his eyes. 

He looked to her, and let her look.

He didn’t move away, when she went and placed both her hands against his cheeks and moved his face this way and that. 

His eyes remained locked on hers no matter which way she moved his head.

“You’ll tell me if it gets that bad again?” She breathed. 

He nodded. “That, or Zack, definitely will have something to say about it. That’s definitely Aerith’s doing.” He noted. She didn’t move. “Promise.” He said. 

It was only then she let his face go. 

They watched as he blinked as if he suddenly remembered something. 

“Right!” He stated, then looked around, and noting there was no one else but his family and their past friends, he looked to find Denzel. “Denz.” He called.

The kid fell flat on his face when he stalled trying to jump onto Red’s tail. He grunted and looked up. “Yeah?” He questioned, rubbing his forehead. He saw the head notion, grinned and ran at him.

Adult Cloud easily picked Denzel up, placing him in his lap.

Denzel reacted quickly when he went for the goggles. “You said—!” He squawked in panic, holding his wrists. 

“All good, no one else is here.” Adult Cloud overruled gently. 

He didn’t seem to care that the goggles were dropped into the dead space in between them. 

They saw the kid’s awed-eager eyes light up and look up at his father from his lap.

“Something I wanted to tell you.” The man said quietly. 

The hero worship the kid had for his father could have knocked down a mountain. 

Denzel nodded. 

“You’re not in trouble.” He intoned.

It caused the kid to frown, but nod again.

“I know I haven’t always been there when you needed me, and I’m sorry for that.” He started. 

Denzel was quick to rush to hold the man’s sleeveless black top, panic in his eyes, and he shook his head, panicked. 

“No, I—!” He paused when Adult Cloud shook his head. 

“But I want you to know that it’s not like that anymore. Should never have been like that at all. I’m never not busy enough for you, or Marlene, do you understand?” Adult Cloud caught his chin with his fingers gently. “Even if I’m at the Cosmo Canyon for a delivery, I will answer my PHS, or ring back when it’s safe. I didn’t mean to make you think you weren’t. Important. Or that you couldn’t talk to me about anything, and I certainly didn’t mean for you to think I wouldn’t want to talk about your nightmares. You can wake me up. Neither Tifa nor I will mind you coming into our room. You’re allowed.” He told him, gently.

Denzel stared up at his father, before his face fell and he started crying. 

“I’m sorry.” Adult Cloud apologised, bringing him under his chin. “That I ever made you believe that. You are important, Denz. To me.” He said softly. 

They watched as one hand buried itself into Denzel’s hair, and the other ran down the child’s trembling spine. 

“At the start, I didn’t think you would want another father, or that I would be any good at it. Why you picked me, I will never understand.” He mumbled once he moved his head into Denzel’s.

“Didn’t think you’d want me.” Denzel said, muffled and heavy from crying. 

They saw the deep frown it placed on Adult Cloud’s face.

“Hey, now,” He said. “That was never in question.” He intoned. He moved so he could catch Denzel’s chin. “I will never have biological kids. I don’t think Gaia could handle another Sephiroth. But you? You’re mine. Alright?” Adult Cloud demanded. 

Denzel hiccuped, but nodded. 

“Good.” He muttered, ruffling up the kid’s hair, then putting the goggles back on seconds before the door opened with other patrons looking for a spot to eat. 

Adult Cloud was suddenly groaning in annoyance, but they suddenly understood when a whirlwind of a ninja rounded into the room. 

“I found you!” She singsonged, pointing to them.

“Yay.” They all heard him mutter sarcastically and Denzel giggle at.

The poor patrons, who had just come in for some breakfast, suddenly found themselves being chased out by a pissed off teenager. 

“Shoo! Shoo! I know where you live!” She was yelling as she slammed the door in someone’s face. Then she was on top of the table, pointing in the general direction of Barret and Aerith. “It’s time you got to know me!” she gloated. 

Cloud noted that the older version of him immediately mentally checked out of the conversation, making Mom Tifa cover her mouth to hide her giggles. Denzel, however, was having a ball with Yuffie’s theatrics. 

Even if no one else was. 

“Wutai…?” Tifa was polite enough to continue the very one-sided conversation.

“Yep!” Yuffie jumped off the table. “Which brings me to that little favour I mentioned yesterday!” She looked from one to the next, excited. “I want you to join me!” 

Loud. She was loud. 

He got why his older version couldn’t stand her for more than five minutes. He looked up to the clock above her head. Four minutes. He was on his way to mentally shutting her out, the same way the older version of Cloud was doing. Would be already, if he was damn sure it wouldn’t eagerly invite the claws nipping at the corners of his mind. 

It basically boiled down to a paid assassination. On Rufus freaking Shinra.

They literally just had the conversation about not murdering the man.

And here this little teenager ninja was. Suggesting it.

Assassination at an inauguration parade? 

“And how do you suggest murdering the man at his own inauguration?” Cloud asked, already annoyed enough with her theatrics. 

Yuffie blinked. “Shouldn’t you be more worried about how Rhonda is gonna pay me after I do it?” She questioned. 

“Oh no. I am way more concerned about how you’re gonna get to—” Cloud stalled when he heard the loud roar of a motorcycle. 

Denzel blinked and looked up at his father. 

“That’s not Fenrir.” He said, confused. 

Adult Cloud moaned in annoyance, glaring up towards the ceiling. “Why’re SOLDIER’s all nuts?” He muttered, easily putting Denzel down. 

“But you’re…?” Mom Tifa said with a mischievous grin. 

He glared. “Nope. Not one of them. Moving on.” He growled, picking up his sword. 

He wasn’t WHAT?!

Adult Cloud continued by glaring at Yuffie. “Park your butt, and if I see it move, I will steal the entirety of your materia, including your reserves. I know where you hide them. And you will not see them happen. Do it, and I’ll give you at least two, maybe three materia if you’re on good behaviour.” He warned, letting his sword gleam with several colours to show her he actually had Materia on hand. 

Yuffie blinked in alarm, and covered her pockets, but she slammed down on her butt to sit, and saluted. “Sir, yes, sir!” She said. “Butt parked!” She said happily. 

“Denz.” He called. 

The kid looked up, happily. “Watch our resident Ninja here. Steal her shit if she moves.” He said.

Denzel absolutely beamed. “Sure!” He said as he nodded, then looked very happily over to Yuffie, who paled nervously. “So, Dad says not to move!” He added, warningly. 

Then he walked out. 

“So, you say they’re all nuts. Are you calling Zack nuts?” Mom Tifa questioned, her tone smothered in humour. 

He glared at her.

“He hauled my dead ass for a year across three continents. Only to take on the entirety of the ShinRa army at Midgar’s gates, when he could have gone around them. He’s not only nuts, he’s an idiot.” Adult Cloud grouched. 

Mom Tifa absolutely laughed at this. 

“Oh, I have missed your humour when you’re not around, Cloud.” She chuckled. 

He clicked his tongue at her, then moved his head at the exit of the inn as he looked at Cloud. 

“You’re up. I’ve already dealt with him. Keep the annoyance to a minimum.” He pleaded.

Cloud sighed.

He’d do his best.

Chapter Text

You never know what lies beneath the surface. And what you’ll find and if it’s worth it. Losing ground, I’m getting nervous. There’s only so much I can control. Even with the cracks in the mirror, my reflection’s getting clearer. While I’m doing the best that I can. You never know who’s coming for you. Into the storm without a warning. It is the silence in the battle, when I’m afraid of my own shadow, when I’m reaching for hope, at the end of my rope. I can’t change the past and I need to let go. I’m learning to live with the broken pieces of me that were shattered, I’ll never get over it, it’s hard to move on, but I’m learning to live with it.

— Daughtry (Pieces)

10. Pieces

Cloud shared the sentiments of his elder.

Why were they all nuts?

Or dead.

Either or really.

He barely saw out of the corner of his eye that Adult Cloud, who had his arms crossed, lent over to Mom Tifa.

“Think he would notice if I stole his bike?” He whispered into her ear. 

Mom Tifa snorted. “Probably, yeah.” She snickered. 

“Damn.” He muttered back.

They.

Were.

All.

Nuts.

He wanted nothing to do with them, he swore.

Why he ever wanted to be one of them, he had no clue.

Oh yeah, it rhymed with Tifa.

“Who is that?” Tifa asked. 

“A pain in the ass.” Cloud grumbled.

And he knew if he didn’t go out to Roche? Roche would definitely find a way inside, on his bike. Probably gleefully breaking everything as he went.

But if anything, Roche was predictable, even with his mission to collect Aerith, SOLDIERs  work alone. 

And as a SOLDIER? Really had a mind of his own when it came to interpreting his mission briefs.

Why were they all like that? 

And most of them had an ego the size of the damn planet.

But he could assume if he didn’t, Roche wouldn’t leave them alone.

He could hear Adult Cloud sigh in annoyance once Roche was gone. 

“I’ve left two kids by themselves.” He said in realisation, then twirled around and stalked back into the inn with fast determination. 

They hurried to follow.

Leaving Yuffie alone, didn’t sound like a good recipe.

Sounded like a recipe for disaster. 

They ran back into the communal area, Denzel was on top of the table, most likely glaring through his goggles as he pointed down at Yuffie, who was on her butt on the floor, looking absolutely floored. 

They both looked to them as they burst through the door. 

Yuffie immediately got up, looking pissed.

“How the hell does this kid know Wutai tactics!” She demanded, walking straight up to Adult Cloud. 

Adult Cloud looked absolutely bored. And she was flummoxed on how he was.

“Because he learns them from you.” She blinked in confusion. “In about two years from now.” He noted.

Yuffie took a few stumbling steps back, but then looked from one blonde head man to another, and then pointed. “No way…!” She screeched in panic, suddenly seeing the resemblances. 

He ignored her completely, and she pouted at him, which he also ignored. 

“What happened?” He asked curiously.

Denzel hopped off the table.

“She tried to leave! So I stopped her!” Denzel happily announced, thrusting out his two pointer fingers several times, in a clear mimic of the ninja. 

Adult Cloud hummed in understanding, then looked back to Yuffie. “So no brownie Materia points for you. Shame.” He noted, clicking his tongue, as if disappointed. 

“No!” Yuffie cried out in woe, and slumped in defeat.

Denzel giggled. 

Adult Cloud clicked his fingers, and Yuffie looked back to him, expectantly. “So I have a deal.” She nodded eagerly. Then more so drooled when he suddenly had a red materia in his hands and waved it. She followed it eagerly. “You stay the hell away from Rufus. No killing. And I give you this.” He told her.

She nodded, when she went to grab it, he moved his arm up away from her, and she jumped many times to try to grab it. 

“Only when the parade is over.” He warned her. 

She verbally pouted. “Fine.” She muttered. “No killing.” She pouted. 

He fused the materia back into his wrist bracer. “Good.”

“Well, that’s all well and good,” Barret started in his usual grumble. “But what do we do now?” He questioned. 

Adult Cloud looked to him, grinning, then to Cloud. “Oh you take part in the parade, better win because you need to talk to him.” He said, brightly.

Oh.

Yay.

“And how exactly do you propose we get up there?” Cloud grumbled. 

Why was he like this.

“You could use a dolphin…” He teased. Cloud glared at him, causing him to laugh. “Yeah. That’s fair.” He chuckled. 

They all followed when he left the inn. 

“Seriously, they’re…?” He heard Yuffie ask Aerith, and saw her point between the two versions of himself. 

Aerith nodded. “He’s from about two, maybe three, years from now.” She noted. 

Yuffie hummed in confusion. “So the world doesn’t end tomorrow?” She questioned. 

Aerith smiled. “Apparently not!” She said happily.

It was good to know, that the Planet had at least two more years in it.

But in those two years, there was something about a meteor crashing into Midgar, leaving it a wasteland. Three WEAPONS. And that didn’t sound fun.

“See! You gotta get up onto the barge!” Yuffie said, pointing to the massive ship in the docks.

Suspended up in the air. 

Barret blinked, stared, then turned to glare at her. “And how do you think we’re gonna get to it!?” He yelled. 

“Dolphin kick!” Yuffie said happily, pumping one fist upwards. 

“No.” Cloud immediately said in annoyance.

“Yeah. No. It’s a pain in my ass.” Adult Cloud vetoed. 

“Ahh, which means you did do it the first time!” Yuffie gleamed, pointing. He glared at her, and she immediately backed down. “Go it.” She muttered, uneasily. 

“Stay here.” He ordered. 

Yuffie saluted, while everyone else nodded in slight fear.

Then he jumped easily from the pier up to the control panel up on the suspended barge.

“Whoa!” Yuffie was yelling in awe. She twirled around and pointed. “He just did that! How’d he do that! That was amazing! Just fwwp and gone!” She was asking. 

“Maybe drop it,” Mom Tifa advised. “He won’t tell you.” She warned gently.

Yuffie looked at her, warily, but she dropped it. “This way!” She said, instead, showing the way to where the boat dropped so they could get on.

Cloud could tell Denzel was having the time of his life as the boat took them up. Adult Cloud didn’t seem to mind as the kid waved at him as they went in opposite directions. 

But as soon as his father was out of sight, he looked to his mother. While he couldn’t see his eyes, due to the goggles, everything else in his stance yelled that he was worried. 

“He’ll be fine.” Mom Tifa insisted. “He’ll round that corner,” She pointed to a corridor. “In five minutes.” She added.

The kid planted himself and stared the entire five minutes, until his father rounded the corner dead on five minutes later, and Denzel bolted and latched onto his side.

The man blinked down in confusion, then looked up at Mom Tifa with a side of his head and a frown.

“He was a little worried when you went out of sight.” She mentioned. 

They saw the immediate understanding cross his face before he looked down at the kid hugging his leg within an inch of its life. 

“Denz. Tadaima.” He stated. 

Denzel ducked his head. “Okaeri.” Denzel muttered back, then looked up and grinned happily.

Cloud really didn’t know why, but he noted the phrases down to the back of his mind to remember.

But…

But he did. 

It made the kid so damn happy, he was beaming when he came back to them, his hand in his father’s. 

The happiness didn’t last as they walked, and the ShinRa guards didn’t bat an eye at them walking past.

He noted Adult Cloud kept a hand on Denzel’s shoulder to keep him close.

“Oh!” One noticed. “Yeah! Town’s that way!” She said, pointing to the elevator, and left them happily be.

Barret was confused. 

Cloud was wary because his older version had done this before, and the man was still wary. 

Mom Tifa was glaring at the Junon Gun any time they could see it. Like she had beef with it.

It worried the heck out of him.

“So, what’s the story, exactly?” Cloud muttered as they let down an elevator or two.

“They know we’re here.” Adult Cloud commented easily. 

Barret turned to him, incredulous. “And that’s okay!?” He yelled. 

Adult Cloud flinched at the noise. “Keep it down.” He hissed in annoyance. 

Cloud glared. It only took one noise complaint, and they would be thrown out. 

“In short, we’re being monitored because Rufus is trying to decide how best to use us.” Adult Cloud intoned. 

“And how did that go the first time?” Barret questioned.

Adult Cloud shrugged. “Dunno. Yuffie tried to kill the man. Kinda went down hill from there.” He noted. 

Yuffie chuckled nervously.

“But we can’t just walk up to him in the street!” Tifa protested immediately.

Cloud’s mind clicked at what the older version of him meant by win. “Or maybe we can.” He suggested. 

All three girls looked at him in confusion.

“We bust up his parade!” Barret hinted, gleeful.

He ignored Adult Cloud’s snort. “No. That’s how we die in a hail of bullets like a bunch of dumb asses.” Cloud stated. 

So they would need to win the commendation. 

Hurray.

Barret and Red went off to get information. Aerith and Tifa followed Cloud when he went off to find the right uniform to wear. Since he was wearing the wrong type for this. Yuffie started to skip along with Cloud.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Adult Cloud was stating and yanked Yuffie back by the back of her clothes. “You can’t follow orders even if your life depended on it!” He growled.

Yuffie verbally pouted. “No fair.” She muttered.

“You might be better off staying with us.” Mom Tifa said gently. 

Then they made him captain of all things.

Captain.

He wanted to hurl. 

This city was making him see double. And Zack in every corner. It was going to give him a green-tinged headache he would need to tell Tifa about, if it got worse, or didn’t stop.

Walking back out, he saw the future family waiting for them. 

He heard the trio round of snorts from the door. 

“Stow it.” He grumbled. 

He heard Mom Tifa giggle. 

But if he wanted to win that damn conversation with Rufus, he needed to find the Seventh Infantry. 

“We’ll see if we can find any and point them out!” Aerith stated. She was giggling as she bolted. 

“Hey…” Cloud started, causing Tifa to stall in running after Aerith. He stalled completely when they all looked to him, expectantly. Every single thought went out his head, panicking at the expectations.

“Cloud?” Tifa asked, tapping him, when he didn’t elaborate.

He shook his head. “This place is giving me double sight.” He mumbled. 

Tifa immediately froze. 

But Adult Cloud, on the other hand, hummed in understanding. 

“You’re remembering being here five years ago. You’re probably seeing Turks and running around with Zack, protecting the civs here.” He mentioned. 

Cloud blinked. That’s…exactly what he was seeing. He looked to him. 

“So, I’m okay?” He questioned. 

Adult Cloud nodded. 

However, Mom Tifa looked surprised to hear about it. 

“You were here, and you’re okay.” He confirmed with a nod. 

“What exactly were you doing here?” Mom Tifa asked, curiously.

Adult Cloud shrugged one shoulder. “Deployment.” He stated. 

It was times like these that they came to remember he actually was in the military.

And before she could glower at him for not explaining further, he turned just a second before Cloud could hear running footsteps. 

Aerith was running back. “I found some!” She celebrated. 

Right. Commendation. 

That came first.

He was gonna need a potion after this.

He knew it. 

But he didn’t know how long he could wait on it. 

Everything was making him flinch. The sun was too much. The troopers following him, the saluting his every step, was making his eyes pinch.

Now he was under so much scrutiny, and he couldn’t subtly get Tifa’s attention. 

Suddenly the crowd erupted and they were being called up. He nearly stumbled up when his feet wanted to walk off the pier in another direction.

He nearly blanked out when Heidegger pointed at him and shouted when they were forced to take their helmets off. 

Somewhere in Rufus’ speech, he blanked out altogether. 

Cloud could see the man talking. But nothing was getting into his ears except the roar of the mako in him pushing up into his head. He could do nothing but stand there, and stare.

He had to hope that Tifa could see his hand. That if and when they were dismissed, she would pull him out the way. That she knew he was wandering without wanting to.

What if he walked? 

Did something he didn’t want to do?

The pier to his left was, for some reason, looking mighty inviting. 

He needed to go that way.

Why did he need to go that way?

Why was Sephiroth suddenly there, behind Rufus?

“Time to go, Cloud.”

His feet wouldn’t damn move in the direction he wanted to go in. To stay next to Tifa.

Before he could move, his arm was being yanked, and Sephiroth dissolved, like he wasn’t even there. The helmet shoved back onto his head.

He was being pulled away from the pier, and back behind the stage.

/

/

Tifa noted exactly when her Cloud nope’d out of existence. 

And she could later say that she panicked. 

She noted the way he locked up, only to slump, looking at him from her side of him, she could see the tremors in his entire frame going from subtle to rampant jolts as Rufus talked. Rufus went on from letting them go and finding Sephiroth to the ShinRa military backing off from them. Bared from Midgar. Aerith had taken point to keep the conversation going.

She could see it in how his eyes lazily travelled from Rufus, who she doubted he could even hear at all anymore, to the pier next to him, then to something only he could see above Rufus. Before he looked about ready to turn and walk to the pier.

She couldn’t see his opposite hand, the one she could bet on was trembling. 

She did note Aerith’s concerned look.

Tifa saluted Rufus like she was meant to, then collided into Cloud’s side and struggled to move him off. It was only when she moved around him to pull, she noted how far gone he was. How violently his hand was trembling. 

He hadn’t acknowledged her.

Hadn’t helped her move off the stage. 

He was just lazily looking out to sea, and fighting her moving him away.

Then she moaned in despair over the fact the potion to stop all of this, was in her clothes. Back in storage. Across the way from where they were. 

She was going to lose him, and it would be all her fault.

Chapter Text

 Fall asleep to dreams of home, the only place I’ve ever known. Now the future has me. I see the fire in the sky, see it all around me. Said, “The past is dead, the life I had is gone. I won’t give up, until I see the sun.”. Waking up and letting go, to the sound of angels. Am I alive, or just a ghost? Haunted by my sorrows. Hope is slipping through my hands, gravity is taking hold. Said, “I'm not afraid, that I am brave enough.”. As I burn, as I break, I can’t take it anymore. Rescue me somehow. Hold me now, ‘til the fear is leaving, I am barely breathing.
Crying out, “I need you to catch me!”

— Red (Hold Me Now)

11. Hold Me Now

Then she moaned in despair over the fact the potion to stop all of this, was in her clothes. Back in storage. Across the way from where they were. 

She was going to lose him, and it would be all her fault.

She doubted he would allow her to move him backwards. Especially when he was fighting her on moving away from the water. There were too many things between them and the potion.

There was no way she could just knock him out. She couldn’t do that to him. Aside from the fact she didn’t know if it would make things worse, she would be hurting him. Cloud!

She turned around, struggling with him, and took in his face with her hands. 

“Cloud!” She pleaded.

She knew he hated when she pleaded with him. 

He didn’t react like her Cloud. His entire being dismissed her, and looked back to the water. 

“What do we do?” Aerith moaned in stress. 

She wouldn’t be fast enough to run back to the change area to grab it.

“Cloud!” She pleaded again. “Look at me, please!” She moaned in panic, trying to move his head back to her own. 

She couldn’t, even with all her weight trying to keep him from moving, he was still moving. 

He wasn’t her Cloud at the moment, and it was putting her into a panic.

She should have known it would have been too much the moment he mentioned remembering being here with Zack!

Tifa struggled in getting the infantry armour off of him. 

“Help me!” Tifa pleaded to Aerith.

Aerith nodded and went for the helmet while she went for the arm guards.

Tifa didn’t know if it would help, but it surely couldn’t be helping. 

How long had Cloud spent looking through the visor back at Nibelheim, pleading for her to notice him when he didn’t think he was worthy? 

She cursed herself for not thinking about it sooner.

Of course, it would set him off. 

As soon as she hurled both bracers off, Aerith struggled with finally getting the helmet off. 

It didn’t seem to matter. 

He still wasn’t looking at her with any sign of recognition that he saw her. That he knew her.

His hand was still trembling. 

His face still blank, as if she were a stranger.

“Cloud.” She moaned in fear.

Was this how she lost him?

What if she couldn’t get him back in time?

She felt tears building up and breaking their dams. 

“Cloud!” She shouted and the launched herself, her arms around his neck while putting all her weight into keeping him still. 

“Come back, please.” She pleaded. “I can’t do this without you.” She muttered painfully.

He was…

He was all she had left.

She doubted she could cope if he just…left.

“He can’t have you. Please.” She told him.

He couldn’t take the last person she had left.

But she didn’t know what to do.

Tifa looked up when she saw movement, and saw Barret come barrelling into the area, stricken. 

He must have noticed his change as well. 

Red was growling at something off to their right. She couldn’t care about it right now. 

He struggled to move away, and she planted her feet. 

“Please.” She moaned as she cried.

“Where’s the potion thingy?” Barret was asking. 

Aerith shook her head, and pointed back out. “All the way back there!” She urged.

On the opposite side of the parade. And civilians. And Reporters. 

“I can try to get through?” Red offered. 

Tifa was nearly thrown back when Cloud decided to move her off him. 

“No!” She cried, latching around his neck harder. “Don’t go!” She added, crying. 

“Tifa.”

She flinched. 

It wasn’t him. But the older version. 

“Let him go.” He insisted. 

Tifa shook her head. 

“He’ll go!” She protested. 

“Towards the pier. I know.” He told her.

He was behind her, so she couldn’t see him. 

“I’ll stop him. But I need you to move. Promise.” He insisted.

Him and his promises.

He meant them. 

“Jump back as fast as you can, alright?” He requested.

Tifa nodded, so he would know she was going along with him. 

The second she let go and jumped back, he was bolting. 

She whined in panic, going for his nearest arm to try to stall him. 

She paused when she saw time magic move around him, and he paused. 

“Freaking Junon.” She heard the man behind her curse softly. 

She finally had the ability to look behind her to see the future family. 

Yuffie was next to them, looking so very confused and worried.

Adult Cloud looked pained around his eyes, while Mom Tifa had Denzel looking away from the situation.

Her entire face screamed panic. But she kept both her hands on Denzel’s head to keep him from looking.

The man of her version of Cloud walked around her, noting her tears, and hissed at them in sorrow, before he continued on. He dumped a potion in his hands then carefully moving them under his turtleneck, then across his younger version’s face.

He must have noted something wasn’t changing, because he grabbed out another one and poured it onto his head.

Then he decided Cloud had enough and yanked out another, only to smoother his own upper chest, back and face with it. 

“Tifa.” The man called. 

Tifa heard her older version hum, but not move. 

“The urge to walk off this damn pier is really, really bad.” He told her, warningly. 

“Can you make yourself not walk?” She questioned in worry.

“Taking a lot out of me.” He strained. “We need to move away.” He warned. “Give me Denz.” He requested. 

At that Mom Tifa walked towards him, with it, he bent down and picked up Denzel. 

“Dad?” He asked quietly in worry. 

“Can you just…talk about school? Into my ear?” He asked. 

Denzel blinked. “Sure!” The boy nodded, then jabbered on about what school projects he was in, the homework he had to turn in when they got back. Upcoming meetings he had with his teachers. Not at all resisting when his father put him on his shoulder, closer to his ear, but his eyes away from everything he could see.

The tension in his shoulders locked, but he looked to both versions of Tifa. 

“You’re gonna need to yank him away once the time magic wears off. Even if he protests, which he will. Just pull harder.” He warned. 

He wasn’t her Cloud when the time dilation wore off, and it took not just them two, but Barret. And sometimes a shove from Red and a yank from Yuffie also into pushing him towards a safer way to cross the sea then just jumping off the pier and swimming.

/

/

The first thing that came back to Cloud in small green-tinge free moments was the large heavy hand on his back that was pushing him, and the smaller daintier hands in his pulling him forward.

Nothing else.

He knew those hands. 

He couldn’t hear anything. So he struggled, shoving the green-tinged parts of him that had claws back to where they belonged, as far away from him as he could shove them from his thoughts.

Tifa.

He needed Tifa.

Needed to hear her, or something.

Even if it was to her yelling at him. He would know she was alright.

How far had he wandered? 

Then he noticed he had stopped, all but one hand had remained in his. 

“Cloud?” Tifa was calling.

Oh.

Oh, there she was.

That’s good.

Suddenly his vision was swimming into focus, and there she was. Standing in front of him. Looking up into his face in worry.

“Tifa.” He noted in relief. 

Then he was very much aware of the scent of tears.

Her tears.

Then her weight as she jumped onto him, her arms going around his waist. Her head shoved up into his shoulder. 

“Cloud!” She was sobbing. 

He weakly tried to put his arms around her.

Why was that such a struggle to do?

It took him a hot minute, but he got there, resting them against her heavily once he did, but he did it. 

“Tifa.” He said tiredly. 

Her grip tightened. 

“Dunno where I went. Sorry.” Cloud tried to apologise, noting he slurred his words tiredly.

She shook her head into his neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” She apologised. 

He felt himself struggling to frown.

Why was she…?

He tried not to show how disappointed he was when she moved away and looked to him. 

“We still need to move, alright? I’ll help you.” Tifa urged. 

She grabbed one arm and hoisted it around her shoulders.

“Huh?” He asked in confusion, too tired to do much else, but stumble when she started to move. 

Something blue caught his attention. 

The sea.

He needed to go to the sea.

Now.

Everything in him cried out against it, and he shut his eyes and lent into Tifa.

Tifa was safe.

Tifa was here. 

He didn’t want to move away from her.

“That’s it. That’s alright. You’re okay.” He could suddenly hear Tifa telling him. 

She was talking?

He latched onto her voice. 

“Red seems to have a fire tail. Did you notice? Sorry, Red. I didn’t know what else to focus on.” She apologised for some reason. 

But she was talking. That’s all he needed to focus on as she helped him walk. 

Someone else came up to his side and took his other arm to hoist him up more.

He didn’t dare open his eyes to look to see who it was. He’d get the name from Tifa later, and thank them when he could.

“Yeah. Now Red’s glaring at me. I said I was sorry!” Tifa protested. “Oh, fine, I’ll find something else to focus on. Hey, Aerith, mind being a focal point? No? Cool. Hey, let’s see…” Tifa was ranting.

She could rant about the sun, and he would thank her for it.

Once he was sure that he wouldn’t open his eyes and see blue. 

Blue skies, that would be okay. He hoped.

He really didn’t want to spend the rest of his days with his eyes closed. 

He really couldn’t care where they were going, either.

Cloud just knew he was with Tifa.

And that he could trust. 

He didn’t trust anything else.

He didn’t trust his eyesight to lock onto the nearest body of blue, and for his body to just want to go to it. To start swimming north.

Cloud didn’t trust his voice, he didn’t know what would come out of it. He didn’t want to be mean or say something wrong to Tifa. Something he didn’t mean.

He could stay next to her, though. She was safe.

/

/

Pulling Cloud forward was like trying to pull a reversing armoured train.

It was hard going, even with Barret shoving him along.

And this was with two potions to remove the effects of mako poisoning. 

It seemed worse once they couldn’t see the sea. He started pulling in any direction to try to get them off him. 

She noted, worriedly, that when they got across Starboard Junon he started going with them, instead of against them. 

Tifa could barely catch the rambling Denzel was doing to his father. Talking about anything and everything under the sun, that the boy could think of to talk about, at his father’s insistence that he keep talking to him, even once he talked all about the projects he was doing in school. By now, the boy had moved onto describing his teachers.

So, she started to do it as well.

Maybe voices he knew would help? Tifa noted the pursed look Mom Tifa had, like she wanted to jump in and help, but she stayed where she was, helping to pull Cloud along.

Barret wasn’t grumbling, gone silent in worry. Even more so when it was up to him to talk their way onto the boat. Mom Tifa pulled away to help him ensure they all got onboard. 

Tifa froze when she felt Cloud jerk on his feet. 

“Cloud?” She called, trying not to hope he was coming back from wherever his mind pulled him to.

“Tifa.” He answered quietly.

Finally. 

She was crying. Not that she cared. Tifa couldn’t help but wrap him up. Stars, she was so scared to lose him. 

“Tifa.” He mumbled again. 

Tifa had to hope him regaining his voice meant something positive.

She felt him leaning against her, the first time in a long time.

“Dunno where I went. Sorry.” He mumbled to apologise.

Oh, how none of this was his fault, and he was still blaming himself? 

She wanted to cry. But she already was. So now she would need to apologise for sobbing into his clothing.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” She told him.

There was so much she needed to apologise for.

She should have realised the event would tip him over. Made sure to have the potion on her so it didn’t happen.

That he didn’t leave.

Seeing him, this far gone, was terrifying her. 

She never wanted him so far out of her reach, when he was standing next to her, ever again.

That she was resolved about. 

Tifa saw Barret and her older version start to return.

So she moved away and looked at him. 

“We still need to move, alright? I’ll help you.” Tifa urged. 

She grabbed one arm and hoisted it around her shoulders.

“Huh?” He barely asked as he stumbled to keep up.

One more thing to apologise for. 

Tifa noted worriedly, that he tried to look for her, and found the sea instead. 

She felt him lock up, cry out in pain, and slammed his eyes closed, and turn his face into her neck. 

Her heart bled, she held him closer. Everything hurt. How did she make any of this better for him? How did she take this pain away?

Tifa barely noted that Mom Tifa came to his other side to help her move him, and Barret to his back as they were all given clearance to board the ship.

Yuffie bounded along at one side, giving her worried glances every so often, the same with Red, who was on their opposite side. Now glaring at her when she decided to use him as a rambling point.

Note taken, don’t use Red.

Aerith, on the other hand, nodded in agreement in helping her ramble as they boarded. 

She’d thank her later.

Chapter Text

Just a scar somewhere down inside of me. Something I can not repair. Even though it will always be, I pretend it isn’t there. I’m trapped in yesterday, where the pain is all I know. But I’m tired, I will always be afraid of the damage I’ve received. The broken promises they made, and how blindly I believed that this is all I know. And I’ll never break away, can’t break free. ‘Cause when I’m alone, I try to keep this pain inside. I’m lost! I will never be alright. When I’m alone, I’m lost in these memories. Living behind my own illusion. Lost all my dignity. Living inside my own confusion!

— Linkin Park (Lost)

12. Lost

Tifa watched as Mom Tifa threw everyone else out of a communal sleeping area, then slammed the door shut and a twirl to lock it. 

She watched from holding onto Cloud that Adult Cloud slipped down a beam off to the side of the room, to sit cross-legged, with Denzel in his lap. 

“Do you need me to keep talking?” Denzel was asking softly with worried curiosity. 

Adult Cloud shook his head. “Could you stay here for a minute, though?” He asked quietly. 

Denzel nodded. 

She noted that with Denzel’s permission, both arms snaked around the child’s middle, and he buried his face into hazel hair.

Denzel reacted by holding onto his father’s arms, and leaning back as he settled.

“Cloud?” Mom Tifa asked, worriedly.

He hummed tiredly.

“Give me a sec.” He muttered. 

She nodded, even if he couldn’t see her do it, and she turned to her.

“How’s he?” She asked instead.

Tifa didn’t want to admit he was heavy.

But…

“He’s heavy.” She was embarrassed to admit.

She had been the one to fully carry him since the parade. And he had only stopped fighting her, maybe an hour ago, when he attempted to talk to her.

Before then, he freaked worse if she wasn’t the one carrying him, or near him. But it didn’t matter to Tifa. He needed her close? So she would be close. It meant that he was aware of her, even if it was subconsciously. She hoped. Tifa needed to hope that was the case.

Mom Tifa nodded, and came closer. 

“Let’s set him down. Can I ask you not to move too far away?” She questioned.

Tifa immediately nodded. Grateful, she wasn’t asking the opposite. Grateful she could help him, even if it was a little bit.

Mom Tifa had Barret come in to help hold him up, while she directed Tifa to move to the beam in the middle of the room. Tifa could tell she took out her frustration on the beach themed decorations in her way as she went.

But Tifa settled against the beam. Yuffie was running around and inspecting the room, grabbing a blanket she found and rolled it up, then shoved behind Tifa’s back. 

“This’ll help.” The ninja muttered in worry, before backing off quietly. 

Red dropped a pillow he found into her lap. While he didn’t say anything, Tifa saw the worry in him when he sat near her.

Then Mom Tifa was directing Barret to help Cloud down onto her lap.

As soon as his head collided with the pillow in her lap, she had one hand in his hair, and the other on his shoulder, wrestling with the pauldrons to get them off. 

He didn’t whimper. Didn’t try to talk, didn’t even try to move away, even when Mom Tifa dropped a blanket over him.

For good measure, once both pauldron were off, her now spare hand went to take one of his that had dropped by her knee.

He didn’t return the gesture.

The only thing he did do was breathe.

She watched his chest move up and down like a hawk for a good two minutes before she remembered everyone else in the room.

Tifa looked up to see that Barret had found a couch nearby, Aerith was sitting next to him. Both of their faces were looking their way, pinched in worry.

Red was now laying down next to her, his good eye watching them all.

Off to the side, Yuffie was pacing, something Tifa figured the girl did when stressed. Mom Tifa had wandered back to her family. 

Adult Cloud still had his head buried in his kid’s hair. Not a single thing had moved since she looked at him last.

Mom Tifa sat next to him with a worried sigh.

“Cloud?” Mom Tifa questioned again, after five minutes slowly dragged on. 

Adult Cloud slowly pulled his head up, blinking several times as he went. Tifa could tell he was checking every single part of himself as he moved, as if unsure of himself.

Once he wasn’t leaning over Denzel, he blinked and looked around. 

“Tifa.” He stated, seeing his version of her.

Tifa could see the tension leaving Mom Tifa’s shoulder’s the second he called for her. 

“I’m here.” She said as she shuffled closer. “Are you able to explain yet, or…?” She questioned softly. 

He was stalled in answering when he yawned uncontrollably. He blinked at her. “Uhh.” He muttered, unsure. He then shook his head to clear the sudden wave of tiredness away. “Sure. Give me a sec.” He requested again.

Mom Tifa nodded patiently. 

They watched as he looked around the room, noted it was just them, then looked down at Denzel, still in his lap.

“Denzel?” He asked. 

Denzel hummed sleepily back at him, causing him to softly chuckle, then looked to Mom Tifa. “I’ll settle him first.” He told her.

They saw that the statement made Mom Tifa smile softly, and nod.

Adult Cloud gently took the goggles off the sleepy child, and easily got up, moving the kid around in his hold before walking over to one of the hammocks. 

Denzel went easily into it, fast asleep before his father even remotely put him down.

Once he was sure his kid was settled, he returned to sitting at Mom Tifa’s side, sitting with an exhausted sigh.

“We can wait, if you want to sleep?” Mom Tifa asked. 

He shook his head. “Damn, my eyes hurt.” He muttered, blinking them several times, leaning against the beam at his back.

“Cloud?” Mom Tifa gently prodded. 

“Hmm.” He hummed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. “Saw Sephiroth. That’s a first in a while.” He muttered. 

This got everyone awake to flinch and sit up more.

Mom Tifa flinched and shifted closer.

“He said anything?” She asked. 

“Wasn’t close enough.” He muttered tiredly.

Tifa remembered how Cloud looked above Rufus when he was wandering. “Above Rufus?” She questioned quietly. 

That got Adult Cloud to flinch, and stare at her. 

“How’d…?” He demanded gently. 

She looked down to her Cloud, unconscious in her lap. 

“He looked there, before trying to move towards the pier.” Tifa answered. 

This caused Adult Cloud to hiss. “So he affected him, and in turn affected me.” He scrunched his nose up and turned to Mom Tifa. “I actually wasn’t expecting that. This could get more dangerous.” He warned. 

Mom Tifa froze in panic, glanced at him up and down. “You’ll leave?” She demanded. 

Pain lanced his entire face. 

“Not willingly. Never was. I’m not sure how it’ll go if Aerith doesn’t activate the Temple. But he’ll… I’ll, still want to go towards the Temple and Northern Crater at this point in time.” He told her. 

“Is that where you’re trying to go?” Mom Tifa quietly asked.

Adult Cloud looked to her, one hand coming up to just off to the side, under his chest.

“That part of me is.” He admitted. He jerked his head towards Tifa. “He won’t be able to separate it from himself. Hell, he can’t separate Zack from himself, this early. I can stop myself from walking. I’m not too sure if he can. I wasn’t able to, back then.” He warned her. Mom Tifa looked at him, tears in her eyes. “The fact that he didn’t walk straight off that pier when Sephiroth told him to? Already more than what I could have done in his shoes back then.” He added. 

“So the potion…?” Mom Tifa chirped softly. 

He nodded. “Is helping.” He made an unsure face. “Just…not enough for this. It’s too early. Maybe if we kept the dosage up, but I’ve never had it that much, I’m concerned it will lose its potency. It’s not exactly trialled and tested on anyone else, but me.” He reminded.

“It hasn’t, not worked so far.” Mom Tifa protested. 

“I haven’t needed to use more than two in one go.” He added to her.

She stared at him. He sighed. 

“How much of the raw materials have you got left?” He asked tiredly. Not wanting to argue.

Tifa noted that Cloud, apparently any version of Cloud, never wanted to argue with her.

Mom Tifa checked her pockets. “I’ll get more at Costa.” She said, finality. 

Adult Cloud clicked his tongue, looking over them again, then back to Mom Tifa. 

“You have sleep magic on you?” He questioned.

She blinked. “Yes. Why?” She said, clipped in warning. 

“Might need it to stay asleep.” He warned. “That or stop magic.” He reached over to his sword and materialised one orb of materia then held it out to her. “Just in case either of us wander.” He noted.

Mom Tifa took it, warily. 

“But you shouldn’t…” She muttered. 

“In case we do.” He stated, his tone full of unspoken permission. 

That she was allowed to use either of them on him if he moved against his will. 

“I’m not hurting you again.” He told her.

They watched as she unwillingly shifted the orb into her spare earring. 

“I’m not hurting you, Cloud. Either.” Mom Tifa defended. 

“With those, you won’t have to. I on the other hand, won’t be able to give you that choice, Tifa.” He reminded her, his tone full of pain and remorse.

She was immediately up on her knees and yanking his head to hers, he grunted in surprise. 

“No!” She defended. “It’s not you. Never, you!” She added heatedly.

Tifa blinked at the echoes of the conversation she’s had with her Cloud.

So it was a recurring conversation. One that needed to be beaten into his head? Got it. She could do that.

“I’ll hurt you.” He whispered forlornly.

Even though they were on one side of the hull, even those quiet words, filled with remorse and regret, were heard by them all.

They watched as Mom Tifa tugged on a strand of blonde hair. “It’s never my Cloud that hurts me.” She promised.

He stared at her, dumbfoundedly. 

“It’s not your fault. And I’ll never blame you for it.” She added in reminder. “Your eyes go all green when it’s not you, did you know that?” She added.

Adult Cloud blinked, then shook his head. 

“Didn’t know that.” He admitted softly. 

She nodded. “The blue in them wanders, which is how I know you’re away. Doesn’t happen so much now.” She said, happily. 

He hummed in realisation, as if he suddenly understood several key factors. 

As if he finally understood why she would catch his eye in the past, before talking about difficult topics. 

“Sorry. Don’t mean to.” He apologised. Again.

Tifa blinked and looked down to her Cloud.

It would be a constant, huh?

Him apologising for something that was out of his control? 

How did this play out for them, when they didn’t know just how out of control sometimes his episodes could get? That it wasn’t him?

Would she blame him? Had she when he wandered in Gongaga? When he hurt her so much, he would continuously apologise for it in the years to come?

How did she come to realise that it wasn’t her Cloud at the forefront? What happened to make her realise to continuously check his eyes for the blue-eyed boy in them to judge?

Tifa gave out a small, slow exhale.

This time she was forewarned. This time, she had help in knowing the triggers in Cloud to note for. She knew this time it wasn’t her Cloud trying to walk off the pier. This time, she knew the boy she fell in love with was still in there, fighting. 

She had only known Cloud for a few weeks, and even without the future coming to them so suddenly, she had figured out some of his mannerisms. 

Some were total polar opposites, like there were two people in one body.

She knew now how much that rang true. Like there were two versions. Her Cloud, and the version that was drenched in mako, controlled by Sephiroth.

What she hadn’t known was how much her Cloud was fighting, and would continue to fight, that part that was now part of him. She saw it in the older version.

Tifa hadn’t realised how long she spent staring down at the man in her lap, until she heard a particular loud snore from Barret, that jerked her up and made her look around. 

By this time, Barret had his head tipped up, snoring up a storm, Aerith had climbed into a nearby hammock, most likely asleep. Yuffie had crawled under a blanket and curled up like a ball. And the older versions of them were leaning against each other, one hand in the other, heads against the other, fast asleep. 

She noted in gratitude that Adult Cloud had no pained lines as he slept, not unalike the one on her lap.

Looking back down, she could see the pain on her Cloud’s face.

They hadn’t gone away.

She moved her thumb across one eye gently. Tifa wished to be able to wipe away the pain as easily as she swiped over his face. 

But he didn’t react to her thumb, he just kept breathing. 

Which, at this point, she was grateful for. 

That he was doing that much to show her he was struggling to be present. 

It still made tears well up in her eyes.

At how helpless she was, she couldn’t help him, couldn’t fix the problem.

How was she doing anything to help, sitting here like she was?

The wooden floor, underneath him, was surely cold and hard. She was on a carpet, she hadn’t realised until now that he didn’t even have that luxury. 

The hand she held was limp in hers, he didn’t even twitch. 

She did one look around the room. Everyone was sleep.

With it, her tears slipped free.

She couldn’t help him.

She couldn’t even move him to a bed. There weren’t any here, and he would be way too heavy for her to pick up.

Tifa had struggled when he was upright, she had no pretence she could get him to stand by herself.

How was any of this of help to him?

Was it even the right decision to go in the direction Sephiroth was pulling him?

Wouldn’t it be a better option to go in the complete opposite?

From what they said, she could gather he needed Cloud for something he wanted. 

Why it needed to be Cloud, she hadn’t yet asked.

She was very much afraid of the answer she would get if she did. 

But she knew it had something to do with the four years he had been drenched in mako under their hometown. 

He was right. 

She didn’t like the answer of where he had been.

Because the answer given? Oh, she hated it.

He wasn’t at fault. 

She would never blame him.

But it made her heart bleed.

How she had somewhere in the past put blame on him for not coming to help her. When he couldn’t. Stuck in a tube, becoming something he wasn’t. Would never be.

Tifa clenched his hand harder, layered her fingers through his hair gently.

She doubted he would let her get this close if he were awake.

Was that wrong of her? To sequester him this close?

She stalled and pulled her fingers away.

He wouldn’t want her this close.

It was her fault.

She hadn’t noticed him.

Why was that always the case?

He was there, begging for her to just see him, and she hadn’t. 

She had pushed him away when they were children.

Hadn’t noticed that the entire village made him their pariah. Singled him out.

She hadn’t fought back, to let him know she didn’t blame him for her falling, that she got hurt.

Because of it? She caused him to leave, having not seen another way.

Oh, how much of it was her fault.

If she had only spoken up. Given her father the finger more often, run off to find him every time, like she had when they were children.

When it didn’t matter what her father said. When she retorted back against him when he told her to stay away from Cloud. 

Just when had she started listening to him? Why had she stayed away?

When she realised that her recklessness climbing Mount. Nibel hurt him as well?

“Tifa! Stop! We have to turn back!”

When he started to avoid her, not because he blamed her, like she figured, but because he was shoved away from her by everyone else.

 “You’re not gonna find your Mom here!”

She bent over his form.

He had always been there for her, and where had she been?

“Please come back.” She pleaded quietly.

“Tifa…?” His tired voice came. 

Tifa’s eyes burst open in a second, looking down to see him looking up at her.

“Cloud!” She called as loudly as she dared.

Chapter Text

All this time, I thought I was wrong.
I won’t lie, I won’t lie.
All we had, now it’s gone.
All our fault.
We rise and we fall.
Find who I am: I’m not alone.
Find my way back: I’ll come back home!

— Maisey Kay (Come Back Home)

13. Come Back Home

Tifa’s eyes opened in a second, looking down to see him looking up at her.

“Cloud!” She called as loudly as she dared, leaning down.

She bent over him, she clenched his hand, fisted his fatigues at his chest, and couldn’t help but cry.

Tifa couldn’t help but freeze when she felt him at her cheek.

“Don’t cry, Tifa.” He muttered tiredly.

She cried more. She couldn’t help it.

He was back to being her Cloud. He came back. How could she not cry at that?

She couldn’t help but sob where she sat. 

She quickly wiped away the evidence, before gripping at his chest again.

“Tifa.” He told her.

Tifa opened her eyes and tried to look at him through the tears. 

He meant so much to her, she could never repay that.

She chuckled wetly when he tried to help wipe the tears away. She whined when his arm flopped, no strength in him to keep his arm up. 

So she leaned so far down their foreheads almost touched, she could see the dim mako glittering, pushed back.

“I’m here.” He told her tiredly.

Still trying to reassure her. 

She giggled wetly. 

“You’re back.” She told him.

She watched as he tried to shake his head. 

“Didn’t mean to go away.” He said in a small voice. “Hurt a lot.” He muttered. 

Tifa griped his hand tighter, only for him to return it, finally. 

She choked out a wet laugh. 

Finally. Responses.

She nuzzled into his forehead, and heard the startled whine he made for her actions.

“Tifa?” He muttered, sounding a mix of exhaustion and confusion.

“I’m glad you’re back, Cloud.” She muttered back.

“Back.” He echoed tiredly. 

Tifa watched as he looked up at her, awed for some reason.

“This okay?” She questioned, ready to move if it wasn’t.

Her eyes wandered to their hands when he tightened his hold on her.

“Stay. Please. Heard you.” He mumbled, closing his eyes, losing the battle to keep them open.

Her heart exploded at him, turning his head and nuzzling into her knee.

“I’ll stay.” She promised, as his other hand loosely wrapped around her leg to keep her close.

She would keep this moment in her memories forever. Tifa didn’t realise how much she needed him to be this close until he was. 

She could do without him being so delirious, but she would take what she could get from him.

With his permission to stay close, one hand went back up to his hair to fuss with it. She giggled quietly when he chased her hand slowly when she moved it away, whining in annoyance when she stopped fussing altogether.

Welp. That was a thing now.

She had to wonder if he would be embarrassed by this when he woke fully.

She would never tease him about it. Hell, she would demand it every day. Then he could never be embarrassed about it.

Serves him right, for showing her this part of him existed.

But he eventually lost the battle to stay somewhat awake, and she heard his deeper breathing, with her vigil over him, she too fell asleep, knowing gratefully that he had wandered back to her side.

/

/

Cloud woke in stages. 

First, his consciousness returned. 

Then the hazy memories of the parade and everything that followed. 

Tifa had been calling him. Had he answered?

He opened his eyes, swore mentally, then his breathing shut down.

He opened his eyes and was looking straight up into Tifa’s asleep face. Realised he was in her lap. One hand around her leg and the other in a battle with her fingers.

He felt the pillow under his head. So he was meant to be where he was. 

Now he could even remember the attempt of conversation they had before.

She wanted him to stay.

But, however, how much she wanted him to stay where he was? She wouldn’t be comfortable how she was. 

He gently let go of her leg (would he need to apologise for that?), then let go of her fingers in stages so she wouldn’t wake up. Then slowly lifted his head from her lap. 

Cloud couldn’t help but stare at her before guiding her down onto his lap, so she could get some rest for her back. It can’t have been comfortable.

She murmured something, that even with his enhanced hearing, he couldn’t catch. But once down, she immediately turned on her side, and wrapped one arm around this upper leg.

Huh.

Fair. Maybe he didn’t need to apologise, then.

He totally wasn’t gonna move her. He threw the blanket he found that had been tucked around him while he slept, and took her hand again.

Why was hand holding a stress reliever? 

Didn’t know, and he frankly didn’t care, unless she told him to stop, he…probably wouldn’t. 

Cloud had the moment once she was settled to look around.

He didn’t know where they were. But they were all there, still. 

Barret over in the corner, snoring away like a barge horn on a couch. Looking around, he saw Yuffie under a blue mat with a picture of a boat on it. And the future versions not too far from him, still asleep against each other.

While he couldn’t see their kid, or Aerith, he could assume with the numerous hammocks swaying around them, they were in one of them.

From the picture of the boat, and the subtle rocking motion, he could gather they were on one.

He hadn’t a clue how they got to be on one, why they were on one, or how long they had been travelling. 

He would probably need to find out, so he could figure out how badly he wandered. 

Cloud could assume pretty far considering how Tifa was acting. 

He looked down at her again. 

She hadn’t been hurt, right?

He hadn’t hurt her? 

Cloud tried to think back, and all he got was a sting of pain snapping at his head, that he clutched, grunting in pain.

Alright. No looking back for now. He’d have to ask, and hope he hadn’t in the meantime. 

“Cloud?” 

He looked up to see Mom Tifa awake. She was tense until she took a second to watch him, then her shoulder’s fell in relief. 

“You’re okay.” She muttered, gratefully. 

He couldn’t help but move his head to the side.

“Where are we…?” He asked, looking around again. 

“On a boat.” Mom Tifa supplied, he raised his eyebrow, and she chuckled. “On the way to Costa del Sol.” She answered

He grunted at the sudden pain spike in his lower chest, and he put a hand to cover it as he frowned.

No. He would not get up and move Tifa. She was finally asleep.

Cloud hissed at himself at the sudden urge to move. 

“You want to move?” She questioned. 

He looked at her. “Don’t want to. She’s asleep.” He growled. 

She nodded. “Then fight it. Stay sitting.” She urged.

She didn’t need to tell him twice.

Cloud growled at the green-tinged growling in the pit of his stomach, trying to get him up.

“Don’t wanna.” He muttered in defiance.

He didn’t want to. 

Cloud ended up glancing at his hands. When had he taken his gloves off? 

Where had his actual fatigues gone? Why was he in an infantry uniform?

Even if he had so many damn questions, his hand wasn’t trembling.

He guessed that was a start, at least?

“Where’re’my clothes?” He muttered, looking around the room again, in confusion.

“Over there,” Mom Tifa pointed to the full bag next to the two swords and other assorted weapons of the team were placed by the locked door. “Yuffie and Nanaki were able to backtrack and get them when they realised we were leaving.” She told him.

Cloud blinked. He would need to thank Yuffie then, and…whoever this Nanaki person was. 

Well, at least he knew where to go, once Tifa woke up, that is.

Hopefully she would wake up before wearing the uniform made her.

Tifa jumped awake when there was a thud, and a pained moan, she shot up in a panic. 

“Tifa?” Cloud questioned. 

She looked at him, relieved he wasn’t hurt. 

“Ow.” They heard a child’s voice murmur. 

Then they saw Adult Cloud wake up in a second afterwards, and look to his left.

“Denz?” He called, getting up.

Denzel had fallen from his hammock. Adult Cloud rounded the device and easily picked the kid up and put him on his feet.

With Tifa up, and distracted, Cloud got up and grabbed the bag, and went in search of a place to change.

He wanted to burn the uniform.

He didn’t have time to do so, sadly. So he chucked them out the port window with gleeful vindication.

Why did he feel so damn tired?

He came back as fast as he could. No one but Tifa had noted he had left, and she sidled up to his side as soon as he stepped into the room, taking his hand. 

“Are you okay?” She questioned immediately.

He nodded. “Just a little tired.” He told her truthfully.

Tifa nodded at him in understanding. 

They were distracted by their future versions and their child.

“Are you sure you’re not hurt?” Adult Cloud was asking, kneeling down to be the same height as Denzel. 

“I’m alright, I didn’t know how to get out of a hammock, and…” He mimicked his fall with his hands.

Adult Cloud nodded and got back up. “If you’re sure.” He said, ruffling his hair.

Denzel giggled happily.

They watched as Adult Cloud looked around the room.

“So… Unless we slept through it, we weren’t attacked last night.” He said.

Barret stood up in a second. 

“We were meant to be, WHAT?!” He yelled.

Adult Cloud looked at him, unimpressed. “Better go see.” He sighed in annoyance, then pulled out his goggles and gave them to Denzel. “Time to go, kiddo.” He mentioned.

Denzel took the goggles happily.

As they walked around the ship, they noted nothing was wrong.

The boat hadn’t been attacked. All for it, Tifa asked about the sailing, and it was apparently smooth all night, and they’d even be getting into Costa earlier than usual. Apparently, they were worried because they had lost contact with the previous vessel.

Upon hearing that, they noted the curious frown it placed on Adult Cloud’s face.

But the man didn’t say anything. Only shrugged at his Tifa, then continued on.

Cloud noted the concerned look on Tifa before long. 

“Tifa?” He questioned in confusion. 

She tugged on the hand she hadn’t let go. “Are…you okay…?” She questioned. 

It made him pause.

Was he?

Her questioning made him take note of everything.

The claws were quiet.

His vision wasn’t green-tinged.

He flexed his hand in hers. It wasn’t shaking.

He looked back to her. 

“I think I am…?” He asked. 

“Do you feel like you need to leave?” She asked.

Ah, the new part. The annoying twitch just under his sternum.

That part of him, growled in protest when she took his hand, but hadn’t reared its head since. 

He soon figured out to quiet that growling he needed her closer. Preferably, her hand in his. 

Was he meant to tell her this? Sounded … silly. 

But she was looking at him, so expectantly, and eagerly.

Cloud looked around, and they had wandered to a part of the boat where they were by themselves, and their friends had gotten mixed up in a game of Queen’s Blood. 

“It sounds…stupid.” He muttered. 

She shook her head vehemently. “It won’t. Even if it does. I won’t mind!” She protested.

Cloud blinked, he had permission to sound stupid?

Why would she want him to?

She nodded, though. “I’ll wait.” She promised.

How to word she made everything better in a way that didn’t sound like he was hitting on her?

Or in a way that wouldn’t make her slap him?

He hissed, he needed to tell her something. And he was a shit liar to her. It was part of the reason he held his tongue around her when he was back in Nibelheim five years ago.

He looked at her again. He might as well try.

“You—You know how you can tell I’m wandering by my hand starting to tremble?” He asked. 

Ugh. This sounded so stupid.

But she nodded, eager that he was talking. 

“It’s how I know to give you the potion.” She insisted, her free hand patting one side of her skirt.

She had one on her? Huh.

Nice to know, he guessed. 

He blinked again.

“Sometimes… Sometimes I can tell before my hands go, but…?” He tried to explain, and felt his throat freeze up.

Talking was hard.

Ever since he was a damn child. 

She sided her head, in worry.

“What are those signs?” She asked, curiously, and interested. 

Not at all disgusted, or waving him off. 

“It’s hard to explain it,” He saw her shift closer in patience. 

She was waiting for his explanation?

“But it’s kinda like my mind is being clawed apart. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes not. Sometimes I can ignore it, push it away. It’s normally followed by my vision flaring up green.” He tried to explain.

She nodded. 

“And it hurts, right?” He looked at her and nodded, dumbfounded that she was following along. “Sometimes your eyes pinch and blink. The mako in them rages more than it usually does.” She explained.

Cloud blinked. 

Huh. He didn’t know there were more outward signs.

But that was probably why she always took in his eyes first before she asked questions.

“Anything else?” She asked gently. 

“The wanting to move? That’s new.” He insisted. Then blinked. “Or at the very least, something I’ve noticed isn’t all… me?” He muttered.

She sided her head at him. “Any internal signs for that?” She questioned worriedly. 

He went for just under his sternum and a little off to the side.

“That one growls. Weird, I know.” He protested before she could.

Tifa shook her head. “It’s not. Have you found something that helps make it go quiet?” She asked. 

This time he looked away.

Tifa very much protested at him moving. 

“Hey, no. It won’t be weird, I promise.” She told him gently, tugging his hand tightly.

Letting him know without words that she wasn’t leaving.

So he looked back to her, uncertain. 

“You won’t like it.” He quietly warned. 

She glanced at his entire face, burning red. 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” She insisted gently. 

Cloud stared at her. He had known her long enough to know she would never drop it until he told her the entire truth.

He sighed in defeat.

“It’s just… You. You help.” She blinked in amazement. “Being close? That keeps the tearing away.” He looked away, bracing for her answer or reaction. “You being close enough to keep my hand? Makes me stay where I want to be.” He told her, uncertain of her reaction. 

Whatever her reaction would be, he would accept it.

She tugged on his hand gently, until he looked back at her. 

“Where do you want to be?” She questioned.

He stared at her, incredulous that she didn’t already know. “Wherever you are.” He answered truthfully.

Chapter Text

I come from the stairway to heaven. With all your hearts, listen, look, the rhythm of the rain and sun. And the beat of the hearts fills me. I found a light inside me. I want to let it glow. Keep shinin’ right beside me. Follow where I go. So when the thunder comes and the storm becomes the night. I’ll guide you through the lightnin’. Stay close by my side. Up in the clouds, I found my voice. Up past the shouts and broken noise.
So don’t let me fall where I don’t belong.
I can’t go back and lose it all.

— Maisey Kay (The Storm)

14. The Storm

“You won’t like it.” He quietly warned. 

She glanced at his entire face, burning red. 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” She insisted. 

Cloud stared at her. He had known her long enough to know she would never drop it until he told her the entire truth.

He sighed in defeat.

“It’s just… You. You help.” She blinked in amazement. “Being close? That keeps the tearing away.” He looked away, bracing for her answer or reaction. “You being close enough to keep my hand? Makes me stay where I want to be.” He told her, uncertain of her reaction. 

Whatever her reaction would be, he would accept it.

She tugged on his hand gently, until he looked back at her. 

“Where do you want to be?” She questioned.

He stared at her, incredulous that she didn’t already know. “Wherever you are.” He answered truthfully.

Tifa couldn’t help but stare. Completely floored.

Her being close, being with him? Helped?

Helped with the flashes? With the pain? To ground him?

With her silence, she noted that he paled, looking as if he was waiting for judgement.

Before she could really do anything else, she threw herself at him, her hands going around his neck to keep him close.

She heard his forced exhalation at her weight piling onto his.

“Oh.” She heard him voice in surprise.

Tifa realised then he was waiting for a negative reaction.

Hell no.

She gripped tighter.

It took him a second, she noticed, but he brought his arms to wrap around her waist carefully, not with any pressure.

“Cloud. Cloud, you’re hurting me.”

“Sorry!”

Yeah. That figures.

One of her hands went to his arm and moved him in closer. 

She heard him hum in confusion. “It’s where I want you to stay.” She announced, nuzzling into his chest. 

Tifa instructed his arms silently to where they could move so he was holding her better.

Once she was happy at where they were, she moved her own back around him, giving out a happy hum.

“I’m not hurting you?” Cloud asked, predictably. 

Tifa shook her head. “Nope.” She tightened her hold on him, knowing her grip could never hurt him. “It’s good this way. Thank you for telling me where I fit.” She answered.

She heard the confused grunt. “You don’t…mind?” He asked in confusion.

Tifa’s heart wept.

He had been expecting her to react badly.

Now his aversion to telling her, the not looking, the avoiding, made sense.

“I’m not mad.” She told him, pulling away slightly to look up. 

She noted with some annoyance that his grip was light and his hands slipped when she moved, and he looked completely flummoxed at how she wasn’t pissed at him for it.

Tifa clicked her tongue in annoyance and moved his hands back. 

“Stay.” She grumbled at him moving. 

It would be comical if it didn’t pain her.

He looked so confused and so gently open, but he was following her lead.

Ever since the first time back in Sector 5. He never made any move he wasn’t sure if it would hurt her, always waiting on her to say whether it was alright or not.

“This.” She gripped his arms where she placed them. “This is fine. More than fine. You doing this?” She gripped them again. “You do this more often.” She demanded.

She didn’t want to tell him it was technically defined as cuddling. Tifa was afraid that telling him that would scare him off.

But he just nodded in determination, not caring for anything but her.

Seeing as he wasn’t going to move his hands away, she wrapped hers around his waist.

“Tifa…?” He questioned quietly, five minutes later, not moving, except with the sway of the boat. She hummed in question. One hand went to her arm, and she almost whined as he moved. He gripped it lightly. “This is good too. You do this more often.” He echoed her answer before putting his hand back around her.

Oh, she totally had permission to hug him?

She was going to absolutely abuse it with privilege. She was absolutely giddy with it.

Tifa absolutely grinned into his chest, happy.

“I can feel you smiling at me. What did I do?” He questioned lightly.

“Just be you, Cloud.” She answered.

She heard him hum, then lay his head on hers. 

Victory.

She felt like crowing to the heavens. 

“That’s what I’m trying to do.” He answered.

She gripped his waist. “That’s all I want.” She muttered into him. “So screw the claws and the growling, yeah?” She insisted. 

She felt him chuckling, and it travelled down the entire length of her. 

“You betcha.” He told her.

Tifa blinked. 

Huh. There was the accent from Nibelheim. He still had it.

She felt like she won a billion medals. She would keep this moment, just like the previous one, wrapped up at the back of her mind.

Tifa totally needed to figure how to get the accent to make a comeback.

Cloud really didn’t know what he did to deserve her this close, actually in his arms.

But hell, he would keep doing it. 

Sounding like an idiot, made her do this?

Then he would continue to sound like one, if it got results like this.

… Maybe when no one else could hear, though.

While she allowed him. He doubted Barret would let this slide. Barret would laugh.

He felt the boat slow down, by the way the boat was moving, land would be coming up close, he could guess they were coming up on Costa del Sol.

“Tifa?” He started quietly. He tried not to grin into her hair at the offended whine, or the hissing when he tapped her waist in warning he was going to pull back. “I think it’s time to get off this boat.” He commented.

He totally tried not to grin to gloat when she pulled away with a pout.

Cloud sent the idea that she liked being this close to the back of his mind to protect against the claws starting up when she moved away. They, and the growling died in a loud protest when she immediately took his hand on moving away.

“They really don’t like it, huh?” Tifa hummed in wonderment.

He sided his head, and frowned. “What?” He asked in confusion. 

Cloud blinked when she tapped near his eye.

“I saw the immediate flare up with the mako. Is it always like that?” She questioned. 

He went beet red. “… Yes.” He muttered in apology.

“Cool.” She stated, and he quickly looked at her, stunned. “You’re sharing my bed now.” She quipped, then moved and tugged his hand so he would move with her.

He would be doing what?

Tifa found the others easily by following the echoes of Yuffie’s screeching. They made it back to them in under five minutes. 

Barret saw them coming up, and pointed over his shoulder to Adult Cloud.

“He’s saying we’re getting off soon. How he knows, I have no clue.” He told her.

Adult Cloud glared at him with old familiar annoyance. “Because the boat is slowing down.” He said. 

Barret glanced at him.

“And I can’t feel shit, SOLDIER boy!” Barret growled. 

Adult Cloud shrugged one shoulder. “Not one of them, so you do you, I guess.” He answered.

Barret waved him off and stomped off.

But they all noticed it was in the direction of the exit. 

“Oh, let me off this boat!” Yuffie moaned, and she raced to where Barret was going. 

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t throw up on the carpet.” Aerith stated, and rushed to stay with Yuffie in concern.

Red moved off with them, silently.

“What did you do.” Adult Cloud was asking, with a smile.

Tifa blinked, and waited for elaboration, he pointed at Cloud.

Tifa looked and saw he was still a little stunned. 

“Oh. Yeah. I told him he could stay with me at night.” Tifa quipped.

Adult Cloud actually laughed. Tifa really couldn’t help but pause at hearing it. He could laugh freely in their future.

“Stop giving him such big shocks.” He laughed. “You’ll fry his brain.” He added in mirth.

“Hey!” Cloud finally protested at being slighted.

“Don’t bother. I get it.” He answered, jolting his head at his Tifa, who was entertaining Denzel off to the side by chasing him playfully around the hold. “You’ve got nothing to stand on with me. Seriously.” He added.

Cloud slumped. 

Yep. This was his life somehow.

/

/

Costa del Sol was somehow too sunny, but not hot enough to warrant it.

“Dad!” Denzel screeched in wonder. “Beach!” He added, pointing.

Both versions of Tifa froze in panic when Adult Cloud automatically looked to where Denzel was pointing, but didn’t react like previous to seeing the sea.

They saw him blink. “You’ve not seen the ocean before?” He questioned.

Denzel stamped his foot petulantly. “I’ve lived in Midgar my entire life!” He defended. 

Adult Cloud wasn’t perturbed at the yelling. 

“You never went on holidays?” He questioned. 

Denzel shook his head. 

His father stared at him, blinked several times, then his nose scrunched up in distaste, before he looked back to Mom Tifa.

“When we get back, we’re taking the kids out.” He ordered.

Mom Tifa was already on the way in trying to cover her grin with her hand. 

“We have enough saved up.” He demanded.

She looked confused at that. “Well, sure, I can close the bar. I own it. What about your recurring deliveries?” She questioned. 

Adult Cloud shrugged. “I’ll figure it out. Kick Kyrie and make her do it. She owes me.” He looked down at Denzel, who looked about ready to combust from enthusiasm, and didn’t see Mom Tifa’s look of confusion. “Let’s see, snow, water, or mountains?” He questioned. 

“Mountains!” Denzel cheered. “Like the ones in Marlene’s books! They have bridges! I wanna cross one!” He added, jumping so much that his goggles loosened. 

They all watched at the jubilation of the mere idea of a holiday with his parents, sent Denzel into the void of happiness. 

Adult Cloud hummed in satisfaction about putting the smile on his face as he gently tightened the goggles around his ears, then looked back to Mom Tifa, with a shrug. “Nibelheim?” He questioned easily.

Not seeing that it caused Cloud and Tifa to freeze as they stared in confusion.

Mom Tifa shrugged. “If you’re alright with it.” She said in concern.

“Meh,” He voiced, unconcerned. “There’s a high chance Denzel and Marlene will demand to leave with one of Fluffy’s kittens.” He warned. 

Mom Tifa snorted. “Oh no. Whatever shall we do. A kitten.” She said in sarcasm.

“You best hope they don’t want to bring the entire clowder back. I was there last week, you know. She’s had another litter.” He continued to warn.

Mom Tifa blinked. 

“Do you… Do you regularly go to check on her?” She questioned, sounding shocked.

“If I knew she wouldn’t go up into the damn reactor every year, no.” He protested. 

“I love you, you know that, right?” Mom Tifa blurted out in shock.

Everyone stared.

“Love you too. But just for taking care of your cat? I kinda hoped there’d be more to it than that.” He laughed.

She shook her head. “There’s the whole part that you go into the village then into the reactor every year to make sure she’s okay.” She insisted.

Adult Cloud ended up shrugging, looking unfazed. “Face your fears, yada-yada. And all that. They’re just ghosts. And the ones there, can’t hurt me.” He announced.

Even Barret was staring, at the very mature thing that came out of his mouth. 

Denzel, completely unaware of all of this, bounded on his feet. “Does that mean I can see the water tower you guys talk about?” He asked.

He didn’t catch the flinch Cloud and Tifa made at the mention.

“It was still standing last week, so I don’t see why not.” Adult Cloud stated. 

“Woo-hoo!” Denzel cheered over the roar of the fire in both Cloud and Tifa’s ears.

“Hold up.” Tifa was stammering to keep up, clutching Cloud’s hand. “Wasn’t it…?” She asked quietly, trying to not dampen Denzel’s cheering. 

Both of them looked at them, and nodded.

“Thank ShinRa for rebuilding it.” Adult Cloud sniped in annoyance, heavy in sarcasm.

God-damn ShinRa.

Aerith ran up to Adult Cloud, who immediately baulked in panic and took a step back from her.

“So, can we take a break here?” She asked pleadingly.

He stared at her. He immediately looked at Mom Tifa, somehow asking for permission, who already had one eyebrow raised somehow threateningly. 

“Sure!” He panicked. 

Aerith giggled and ran off. 

“Zack will kill me.” He muttered, then moved to make sure she was within eyesight.

“Beach party!” Yuffie immediately yelled, running off.

Both versions of Cloud sighed in annoyance.

“How long do you think it’ll take them to realise no hotel is vacant?” Adult Cloud grouched. 

Mom Tifa giggled. “Probably ‘bout five minutes, give or take?” She answered.

Adult Cloud slumped and looked heavenward. “This is your fault.” He growled, then looked down and kept walking. 

They followed Adult Cloud until he stopped in the middle of the main thoroughfare, Aerith went into one hotel, and Yuffie into another.

Both came screeching out in seconds.

“Full!” They yelled in annoyance.

“This is tiring.” Adult Cloud muttered.

Cloud and Tifa looked to each other.

He was waiting for something, they just didn’t know what exactly.

That something seemed to be Johnny. 

While they were distracted by the man, Adult Cloud turned to Mom Tifa.

“You have any Gil on you that isn’t date marked or say Edge on it?” He questioned. 

Mom Tifa hummed and started to check her purse, then paused. “Should we be circling Gil that may or may not already exist?” She asked. 

Adult Cloud blinked. “Good point.” He muttered. Then he froze. “Wait.” He blinked. She waited. “This is before Meteor Fall. They have that Amor Partner thing. No Gil. Tokens.” He remarked. 

They all noticed her lighting up, “Oh, yeah!” She grabbed his arm. “Then you’re mine!” She said, tugging. 

“Duh.” He scolded in gentle reprimand.

She giggled. “What are you thinking?” She asked. 

He shrugged. “They won’t let us down on the beach without attire.” He reminded, Cloud groaned in annoyance at hearing this. “Also. If Denz gives me puppy eyes one more time, I’m folding.” He warned. 

“But it’s the beach.” Denzel whined sadly.

Adult Cloud sighed, immediately folding. “I’ll go enter us.” He moaned, then turned around to find the vendor.

Mom Tifa looked at Johnny, ready to show them where his hotel was. 

She waved her hand a little. “Come find us, okay?” She said gently, before going off to stand next to her Cloud, who looked about ready to check out mentally of the conversation someone was trying to have with him. 

“At least he’s saved.” Cloud mumbled with a pout. 

Tifa tugged his hand. “Be nice.” She reminded gently.

He looked at her. “This is me being nice.” He remarked.

Tifa huffed a laugh. “I know.” She said softly, and went off in the direction Johnny was going.

Cloud was already sighing in annoyance, but he let her pull him along.

Chapter Text

Sleep don’t visit, so I choke on sun. And the days blur into one, and the backs of my eyes hum with things I’ve never done. Sheets are swaying from an old clothesline. Like a row of captured ghosts. —Was never much, but we made the most. Welcome home. If you find one, please let me know what piece I’ve lost. Peel the scars from off my back, I don’t need them anymore. You can throw them out or keep them in your mason jars. I’ve come home. All my nightmares escaped my head. Bar the door, please don’t let them in. You were never supposed to leave. Now my head’s splitting at the seams and I don’t know if I can…

— Radical Face (Welcome Home)

15. Welcome Home

The place was a death trap.

The only good thing about it, was that it meant that Cloud was sharing with Tifa.

He didn’t like the grin Aerith had on her face when she shoved Barret into one room, and called Red over. Nor did he like the little grin Yuffie had when she pointed to the other. 

“Denzel and his parents can take that one! That leaves you with this one! Bye!” She yelled, then slammed the door. 

Yep. He was going to hear about that one later.

But for now, Tifa pulled him into the room Aerith and Yuffie demanded they take, and she shut the door. 

Cloud looked around the room with scepticism. 

He didn’t doubt that one wrong step, and he would go through the floor, with how many holes the place had already, he was sure another one wouldn’t be misplaced or noticed.

But he noted the open view shower and the one decently sized bed. 

“Do you mind?” Tifa asked. 

He looked to her and sided his head. “With what?” He asked. 

She pointed to the shower. “That I take a shower?” She added. 

Cloud immediately turned away from seeing the shower.

“I won’t look!” He said heatedly.

She nodded, as if that wasn’t the reason. “I know, I trust you. I just… Don’t leave, okay?” She asked.

Realisation flooded through him. “Let me sit first, and then you can go ahead.” He assured.

Tifa grinned in gratitude, and nodded.

Seeing her give permission, he hauled off the Buster sword and lent it against the wall, and got comfortable sitting on the bed, looking away from the shower.

“All good.” He told her as he shoved his boots off to sit cross-legged.

She grinned then pranced out of his sight. 

“Thanks!” She said, happily, from behind him.

“No problem.” He reminded.

Since this was for his benefit as much as it was for her.

/

/

He remembered this being a lot harder.

Maybe it only felt hard because he had been dealing with so much more than just winning a score on several games.

He was in a better shape of mind these days. Which was saying a lot.

He looked over to Tifa and Denzel.

Yeah, he didn’t need to look far to find out why.

Cloud pocketed the tokens won, and tipped his head in gratitude at the vendor before walking back to Tifa and Denzel.

“So we can’t just go now?” Denzel was asking. 

Tifa was shaking her head. “Nope. We need to change.” Tifa answered. 

Denzel looked down at himself. “I don’t have anything else to wear?” He questioned in a pout.

“I’ve got it covered.” Cloud noted.

Denzel tapped the goggles. 

“What about these? These stay on?” He questioned.

Cloud hummed, giving a quick glance around to note no one was looking their way, removed them. 

Denzel immediately flinched at the change in incoming light. But waited patiently for Cloud to continue. 

He was only a little confused when his father pocketed the goggles. “The sunlight here brings out the blue in your eyes more than the mako, you’ll be fine for now.” He noted.

He looked up at his father and grinned. 

“Cool!” He noted happily.

Cloud then wandered into one of the shops noted for children.

“You take tokens?” He questioned the vendor.

The older lady grinned and nodded. “Of course, dear!” She said. 

He hummed, then looked to Denzel. “Have at it.” He called.

Denzel whooped and ran into the store.

Cloud noted, with some pride, that no matter what costume Denzel tried on, his Fenrir ring stayed on around his neck.

It mirrored his own, hidden by his top, and the one on Tifa’s wedding finger.

Something that bound their little family together.

Tifa leaned against his side, watching Denzel have fun trying to pick between two costumes. 

“… You okay…?” He questioned her. 

“I like seeing him this happy.” Tifa told him.

Cloud hummed. Having only seen Denzel sick and despondent until the last year. With the year on, Denzel becoming awkward in how he fit in with their little family, it was only until really recently that this side of Denzel came out from the ash and shadow that they had lived their lives under. 

It might have happened sooner had the whole Deepground situation never happened.

Denzel had been terrified to go with Marlene to stay with Elmyra for a spell without them. 

But it was better that then coming back home to Edge to find the children—

Yeah. No.

“Did I miss when he started calling us his parents?” Cloud asked quietly as he watched gently. 

Maybe he had been out on a delivery when he decided to? 

That hurt, actually. To think that he might have been away the first time Denzel had decided to call him his father.

Tifa shook her head. “I think coming here jumpstarted him verbally saying it.” She said.

Relief filled his shoulders. That was fine. He was there for that. 

Cloud noted the longing look that Denzel had at seeing a sandcastle set, but his child shook his head and pushed up a costume set onto the counter. 

“This one, please!” Denzel said, and Cloud took that is his cue to make his way over to help with the transaction.

He gave a little look to Tifa, who grinned and nodded. 

“How about I show you where you can change?” Tifa asked. 

Denzel immediately nodded. 

“Yes, please!” He said. 

Once the kid was turned around and distracted, Cloud swiped the building set Denzel had been eyeing. 

“Can you bag this so he can’t see?” He asked. 

The lady cajoled, but happily acquiesced his request.

Seeing as Denzel was actually the hardest to find a shop for, he already had his and Tifa’s costumes, seeing as adults were the main revenue of Costa del Sol. 

He made his way over to the nearest change room, only to pause when he caught sight of blonde hair. 

Seeing himself, and the suffered look the poor kid had, he waved his arm to get his attention. 

“Don’t beat yourself up so much.” He requested.

“They took off.” He heard his younger self barely mutter to explain. 

“Tifa and Aerith?” Cloud asked. He watched him nod, and look down an alleyway. “Maybe try the pirate game, if you need to, it’s a little easier than the others with your skill set.” He offered. 

He turned back to him and nodded, once he had his attention, Cloud flicked the remaining tokens to him. 

“Use ‘em. I’m done with them.” He said.

He nodded, and bolted. Probably back to his Tifa.

Which, fair. He’d do the same.

It didn’t take long for Denzel and Tifa to change, and when a civilian finished in the one over from them, he changed as well.

He remembered how long that damn whistle the coast guard used rang in his ear afterwards. 

Cloud needed to make sure that if Hojo turned up, no one got hurt this time.

And to do that? He needed to be down at the beach. But until the man turned up, his family could enjoy a little time in the water. He also needed to hurl his Fusion sword over the wall to grab in case he needed it. 

He would also lob it at Hojo’s head for free, if there was an open opportunity, that wouldn’t change the course of history for the worse.

Cloud was the fastest to change, even without the head start Denzel and Tifa had on him.

Which he was grateful because he barely caught Denzel as his kid fell out of the booth. 

“Whoa!” Denzel cried in alarm. 

“I gotcha.” Cloud said, easily putting the kid back on his feet.

Denzel grinned up at him. 

“Thanks, Dad!” He said, gratefully. 

Cloud hummed. “Better wait for Tifa, huh?” He said with a smile. 

“She won’t forgive you if you didn’t.” Denzel reprimanded. 

Cloud snorted. “Oh, she’d totally throw me over the wall. Easily.” He snarked.

Denzel laughed.

Cloud, by now, had naturally seen Tifa in less than a swimsuit, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t eye his wife by any means.

But he could see the practical reasons in the sarong upper piece that went over one shoulder and covered the majority of her upper chest. It covered up any evidence of the scar she carried there under the swirls of green, blue, and yellow. The little skort had the same colours. All in all, she showed her belly button and her long legs. He wouldn’t be surprised that in the little assemble somewhere she had squirrelled away her fighting gloves. After knowing her for the entirety of his life? He knew her. The gloves would be there.

Even after all these years, they still seemed to match. All the colours present in her two piece were in his board shorts. A little more colour than he was used to, but he didn’t mind. 

Denzel looked particularly proud when he realised he matched as well. His shorts faded between green and blue, while his top and outer top were green with yellow chocobo feathers. He tugged at his neckline to make sure the Fenrir wolf ring was on show. But aside from that, he was grinning ear to ear, knowing his necklace matched his father’s. He hadn’t realised the man had one hidden under his clothes.

Cloud looked to Denzel.

“…Wanna help me smuggle in the Fusion onto the beach?” He questioned mischievously.

Denzel chortled. “Yes!” He demanded.

Tifa laughed. “I’ll be on guard duty.” She said with a smile.

Tifa ended up distracting the pirate cove vendor by being ‘oblivious’ in how to handle the toy blaster, while her husband and child hurled the sword gently over the wall. 

They watched it hit the sand behind the stage, and it surprisingly blended in.

“That worked.” Denzel remarked, in surprise. Then he turned to his parents. “Beach time?” He asked. 

They both nodded. “Beach time.” They echoed. 

Denzel whooped for joy and took one of their hands. “Beach time!” He yelled.

/

/

Cloud was going to die in the sun while he waited for the girls to finish…whatever it was they were doing. 

Tifa just had to yank him along.

The lengths he went for this girl. Seriously.

He didn’t understand any of what she chattered about with Aerith. 

Nor did he understand the contributions Yuffie made, either.

But with the tokens his older version gave him, and the fact Red just won some, they had enough for the girls to have their swimsuits.

He hoped. 

Aerith and Yuffie were giggling as they ran off for the changing booths, Red chasing them, leaving him alone with Tifa.

He couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief, even more so when she finally took his hand again. 

“Sorry, that must have been annoying.” Tifa apologised. 

“It wouldn’t be, if I could understand even half of what you and the others were saying.” Cloud protested as he walked with her at his side to the change booths. Seeing as Aerith and Yuffie had sequestered the nearest ones, he made for the next lot.

“Thank you, though, for being with us.” Tifa said. 

Cloud looked to her. “Sure?” He found himself asking.

She laughed at him, but shoved him into the booth. 

“Hey!” He called in mirth as she threw the curtain closed. 

“See you in a second!” Tifa yelled happily at his back.

It was more than a second, but both the claws and the growling he had sufficiently shoved down, they didn’t bother him while she was gone to change.

He didn’t want to have to deal with sunburn, so he paid for the shirt. He figured with the yelling that Yuffie and Aerith did while passing them, they would meet back up at the beach.

“Cloud?” Tifa was calling. 

“Be a sec!” He yelled back, changing from his boots. Then, shoving his fatigues and said boots into a free locker that he slammed closed and pinned a code for, before leaving. 

The sun was in his eyes when he left, but he was equally stunned silent by Tifa, waiting for him.

She had denim mini shorts on and a black and grey top covering her white bikini. 

What stalled him completely was that her hair was trussed up behind her head somehow.

“Cloud?” She pressed, worriedly, she came in closer and took his hand. “Are you okay?” She added. 

“Ah-huh.” He mumbled quietly, scrambled.

He quickly shoved the idea of petulantly pulling her hair loose out of his head. 

“We-We should go? Beach?” He muddled.

Tifa took pity on him, and nodded. “Yep! This way!” She said, tugging his hand and leading the way.

She could lead him into hell, and he’d probably thank her for it.

It wasn’t surprising they were the last to arrive, but only by a few minutes.

He could guess the future family had come in first, with their position to greet Aerith and Yuffie.

Denzel was sufficiently distracted at his father’s feet by the sand he was pouring between his hands in awe.

Cloud noted in some concern that the kid didn’t seem to have his goggles on. But laid it to rest, when the kid looked up, that the dim mako glow in them was suppressed by the amount of sunlight beaming down on them.

Barret had found a place in the shade to sit next to Red, both looking passed out. But not completely asleep that Barret was snoring, and by the twitch of Red’s tail he was still on alert.

Seeing them, Denzel grinned and looked at his father. 

“I can go now?” He pleaded.

Adult Cloud sighed. “Alright.” He said.

Denzel threw his hands up in the air. “Yes!” He shouted happily, then bolted for the water.

“And this is how a city kid drowns, and I get arrested for filicide. Woo. Hoo.” Adult Cloud snarked sarcastically. “Let me know when Hojo arrives.” He added with a small wave, then walked off in the same direction his kid went. 

“COLD!” They could all hear Denzel yelling from the shoreline.

Yep. City Kid. Was gonna drown. In enthusiasm.

“Hojo turns up?” Cloud nearly yelled.

Mom Tifa turned to him, with a look of understanding on her face. “We’re not sure, see, last time he did because the boat was attacked by fiends. This time no. I think we were on a different crossing than last time.” She added. 

She wasn’t sure.

And Cloud could tell she hated not knowing. 

After that, Cloud felt himself go into guard duty, choosing a part of the beach he could glare at the entrance, and see everyone at the same time. Tifa had left his side for several minutes once she saw a bar, and came back with a cocktail, but she didn’t seem to mind sitting with him.

Aerith had found a chair to lie on and was sunbathing, Yuffie seemed to have endless energy to do a million and one cartwheels and backflips up and down the shoreline.

Cloud did make sure to continuously check in with the future family.

At one time, he saw Adult Cloud gently throw Denzel into the water, only to immediately grab the kid out again. Another time, Denzel had ‘successfully’ thrown his father into the water in retaliation. He grabbed Mom Tifa on the way down. She screeched. Once she was up, she threw water into Adult Cloud’s face in retribution.

The kid was having a blast at least.

It was only an hour later, once they had gotten out of the water, and Denzel was happily building a sandcastle with a little shovel. He saw the commotion on the stairwell, and instantly shot up, Tifa gasped when he moved, but raced to follow.

He wasn’t much concerned about Johnny being a mule chocobo, but it was who it was for that got every hair standing up on end.

Hojo.

The one of two men of the source of his nightmares was now walking down to the beach, and Cloud couldn’t help but glare as the claws rose up at the back of his head. 

Something was wrong.

Chapter Text

I can see every tear you’ve cried, like an ocean in your eyes. All the pain and the scars have left you cold. I can see all the fears you face, through a storm that never goes away. Don’t believe all the lies that you’ve been told. I will show you the way back home. I will stay until the morning comes. I’ll show you how to live again and heal the brokenness within. Let me love you when you come undone. When daybreak seems so far away, reach for my hand. When hope and peace begin to fray. I’ll be right here now to hold you when the sky falls down. When the rain falls, I won’t let go: I’ll be right here.

— Ashes Remain (Right Here)

 16. Right Here

Tifa knew, immediately, something was wrong by the pained flinch Cloud’s eyes were doing, and sidled up to his side, and took his hand behind their backs. She watched him discreetly, to make sure the pain died down.

It did, and she mentally sighed in relief.

But it didn’t stop any of them from glaring at the insane scientist that held him captive against his will for four years.

Cloud could see the future family backing Denzel behind them, the little throw of the goggles to Denzel to put on.

The child immediately put them on, and hid behind his parents.

He understood the assignment from the get-go, thankfully.

Cloud doubted any show from him would be special in any way shape or form.

Not when it involved Hojo in it.

And the way he was looking at the those robed men, the men his older version called Remnants.

But Hojo was calling them his brothers…?

Why did that give him the wrong chilly zip zap up his spine? 

He saw the subtle steps Adult Cloud was making off to the side, on the steps to the pool yard, and then the gleam of his sword.

A fight.

Yay.

A heads-up from him would have been nice.

Especially when it involved fiends!?

He barely saw the civilians scattering, and Mom Tifa putting Denzel in a place she deemed safe, before she was tugging on her gloves.

While he was left weaponless, he still had his materia fused on hand. Magic it is.

He wasn’t gonna question how either Yuffie or Aerith had sequestered their weapons past the checkpoint. Nope.

But at least Yuffie was throwing hers around, and Aerith using magic, trying to cut off the limbs flailing around.

In seconds, Hojo had the Remnants fused with fiends? That could happen? Then he was sending out cages.

Adult Cloud easily jumped up into the air, and his sword coming apart as he threw them out at the cages, each piece slammed into one cage and brought it down in seconds. 

Cloud was able to throw out several ice spells to deal with some of the fiends, while Adult Cloud was retrieving parts of his swords easily. He immediately needed to throw two of them out again to disable the cages brought down on Aerith and Barret. Then the remainder of the swords at the machine that charged forward at the rest of them.

They bolted out of the way of the miasma it put out, and he saw that Adult Cloud was still up in the air, still somehow suspended easily as the surrounding air became charged.

Electricity?

Most machines were weak to it. Fair.

He could do that.

Cloud rolled out of the way, cursing when he realised the machine had it in for him, he changed tactics immediately.

If he couldn’t help use magic on the thing, he very well could do the next best thing: be the distraction. He pulled up then rolled out of the way, making it follow him. It left the girls alone, who had picked up on the electricity surrounding Adult Cloud and readied any materia they had that was electric-based. 

He felt a barrier fall over him, courtesy of Mom Tifa, before she bunkered down, and charged up a powerful electric spell as well.

He still had the machine’s attention with all the running around in circles he was doing. 

Then came the powerful electric attack from a still up in the air Adult Cloud, that immediately stunned it still. Then the follow-up attacks from both versions of Tifa, and Aerith, and a charged ninja star from Yuffie brought it offline.

He heard the verbal pouting Hojo did, just as Adult Cloud decided to relearn gravity, and slammed back down into the sand.

“Oh-ho?” They heard Hojo hum in interest.

Adult Cloud snarled and readied his sword in his direction, warningly, his outline turning a fiery blue, as did his sword.

“I won’t hesitate to bury you alive if you keep standing in front of me.” He warned, raising his sword, ready to attack.

Hojo must have heard the warning, and figured the man would actually carry out the threat of doing so, and wisely left.

“Bitch.” They heard him mutter, then powered down. He looked around. “Denzel!” He called. 

Denzel popped out from under a fallen tent. 

“Here!” He called, jumping up, dusting the sand off him, and bolting over to his father. 

None-the-wiser.

Adult Cloud sighed in relief once he checked the kid up and down. No injuries.

Once he had Denzel at his side, he looked to everyone else. 

Mom Tifa was putting her gloves away. She was fine.

Cloud was pulling Tifa up, neither of them were hurt.

Barret was grumbling as usual. Yuffie was yelling at the sky like usual. Both fine and uninjured.

But Red? He was limping.

“Nanaki.” Adult Cloud called.

Red immediately stalled, and looked at him in confusion. 

“Stay still, you’re hurt.” The man muttered as he patted Denzel on the head, then came over to him, sitting himself in the sand, nonplussed.

Red stared at him, at his outstretched hand.

“I need your injured paw.” Adult Cloud elaborated when nothing like he was used to happened.

Seeing so, Red sat. 

“How do you…” He lifted his injured paw, and Adult Cloud took it gently. “Know my name?” He asked. 

Adult Cloud hummed as he brought his other hand up to ready a remedy. “Bit hard to miss when it’s all Bugenhagen and Deneh call you. But you did give me permission to call you it.” He relayed as he healed his paw. “It’s the only name Denzel and Marlene know you as.” He added softly.

Red could only stare in amazement. 

“You know Deneh?” Red questioned. 

Adult Cloud chuckled. “Yep. Good luck with her. She terrifies me.” He cajoled happily, putting his paw down, and getting up. “I don’t envy you that fight.” He added mischievously. 

Red scoffed. Neither did he.

They spent the rest of the morning, and most of the afternoon, cleaning up the beach of the mess Hojo left behind.

Someone needed to do it. At least, no civilians were injured.

And Cloud was pretty sure he saw eager vindication in Adult Cloud’s eyes when he set the retriever machine on fire.

So, he left the man alone for a bit.

He sought Tifa out, instead.

He just needed to follow the magnetic pull she seemed to have with him, and the direction in which the growling and claws were at their loudest. It usually meant in the opposite direction they wanted him to go, and it usually proved the right way to find Tifa.

He wasn’t surprised to find her at a bar.

Tifa smiled at him when he sat next to her.

“You doing okay?” He asked as he sat. 

She looked at him, and nodded, a little teary-eyed but alright nonetheless. 

Cloud immediately knew she needed to vent. 

“I’m here.” He reminded her softly.

She then deflated and fell against his side.

“Hi.” She muttered. 

“Hey.” He answered.

This was becoming a routine he could easily follow by now. 

“Feels like it’s been ages since Seventh Heaven.” She muttered tiredly.

Since things were relatively calm, he could hear her silently say. 

But he nodded in any case.

“Lot’s happened since then.” He agreed.

It didn’t feel like only a few weeks. Felt like a year. 

But in that length of time, he’s found Tifa again.

Well, technically, she found him.

“I don’t think I ever actually thanked you.” Cloud stated.

She gave a little hum in confusion. “For what?” She questioned, leaning back and looking at him.

“For finding me at the train station. I still have no idea how I got there. Still can’t remember.” He elaborated. 

She nodded sadly. “You were pretty sick. And you barely answered to your name. But you seemed to recognise me, and followed me home anyway.” She said. 

He nodded. He couldn’t remember, but it sounded right.

Following her anywhere. 

Seems like something he would always do.

With the sun setting, and Cloud could see that Denzel was already picked up and asleep on his father’s shoulder, they went back to stay the night with Johnny.

He didn’t have nightmares. Which was a first, in a long time. 

He would need to thank Tifa for that, later.

Once he figured out where they were going, that is.

Cloud figured it would be a good idea to get out of the room when Tifa looked at the shower needfully.

Like usual, as he was coming to find out, the future family was up first, and Denzel was already running around in circles. 

Seeing him, his older version threw something at him, and Cloud caught it easily to see it was some type of sticky bun.

“Morning.” He noted.

Cloud nodded and ate what he was given.

By the time he finished, everyone else was shuffling down the stairs towards them. Tifa was yawning, but she silently made her way to his side, mutely.

“Shower didn’t wake you up?” Cloud questioned curiously.

She shook her head. “Made me wanna go back to sleep. But you weren’t there, so, here I am.” Tifa muttered quietly.

Huh. He was good for her nightmares too? Good to know.

“Where to next, you’ve done this before.” Barret demanded. 

Adult Cloud rose an eyebrow at him. “I could throw him into the sea from here, easy-peasy, no sweat.” He muttered quietly, sounding good-naturedly yet annoyed. 

Barret didn’t hear him, but Mom Tifa slapped his arm. 

“Be nice!” She scolded. 

He stuck his tongue out at her. “This is me being nice.” He answered, pouting.

How some conversations repeated themselves.

Tifa, while she hadn’t heard, saw the slap, and was looking at him as if he had done wrong.

“I didn’t do anything.” He protested.

She put her hands on her hips.

He didn’t dare stick his tongue out at her, like the older version clearly could safely do.

But they all heard Adult Cloud sigh. 

“The fastest way, without paying through the nose, to the Gold Saucer, from here, is through Mount. Corel.” He stated.

Barret stared. 

Denzel screeched. “We’re going to the Gold Saucer?!” He yelled in eager surprise.

“I figured talking to Reeve might work, so…” He explained. 

Cloud blinked in confusion.

“And a board member of ShinRa’s directives is at the Gold Saucer…why?” He asked. 

Adult Cloud blinked at him. “He isn’t. Cait is.” He added.

Everyone blinked.

Because that made sense. To someone. Who wasn’t Cloud.

Even Barret’s grumbling stopped when he realised the Remnants, men in robes, (brothers?), whatever they were actually were heading in that direction.

Cloud was just thankful that renting chocobos was a thing he could do, and not that he needed to wrangle another herd.

Small mercies, he guessed.

But it meant trekking over another mountain. 

Something of which, he noticed extremely early on, some had never done before. 

That mainly being Aerith and Denzel.

At the sight of the mountain, Adult Cloud had already hauled the kid up onto his shoulders.

“Keep a look-out.” Adult Cloud had mentioned to the kid.

The kid had beamed and pointed out every single thing that caught his interest.

With no one around, Denzel didn’t have his goggles on.

But with Aerith? Yeah, he couldn’t throw her anywhere to make the trip go faster.

So, they needed to go to her pace. Stopping frequently. 

It would have grated on him, if Tifa wasn’t always one step behind him.

And he would have been extremely pissed off to face the Turks, if they were in fact there to fight, and not to drop in several more Remnants to help the trail.  All the while they were there, Adult Cloud was glaring at the Turks. His hand at his sword, ready.

The man didn’t even need to move Denzel off his shoulders to show how annoyed he was.

Then they came across the ruined Corel reactor.

“Hey, so…” Yuffie asked, getting everyone to turn to her. “What’s the deal with these guys, exactly…?” She asked nervously, pointing to a Remnant struggling along.

“ShinRa’s victims.” Barret simplified it. 

Yuffie hissed in anger.

Cloud saw Denzel pat his father’s head as the man walked over to the Remnant. 

A hand up in its direction as if to sense something. 

Then his head went to one side, curiously. 

“Cloud?” Mom Tifa questioned, walking urgently to his side.

Yuffie paused in ranting, to look at them cautiously. 

Adult Cloud looked to Mom Tifa. 

“He won’t…” He tried to explain. “Make it through the mine…” He muttered.

Mom Tifa nodded sadly. “Does he know himself?” She asked.

Adult Cloud looked back to the Remnant still struggling onwards. He paused for a second, then shook his head. “No. Nothing. There’s nothing to remember. Hojo made him that way.” He answered. 

“He wasn’t a SOLDIER?” Mom Tifa questioned.

He shook his head. “By now, he’s figured those with pasts, struggle with following Sephiroth.” Adult Cloud explained. He pointed to himself. “Shining example of it. I will throw my sword at him.” He reminded. 

Mom Tifa immediately put a hand on his arm. “Will you react if you’re near him?” She asked, worriedly.

“You’ll be the first to know.” Adult Cloud said, warningly.

This did not help her worry. This made it worse. So much worse.

“React?” Tifa questioned, seeing the blatant worry on her older version’s face made her worry as well.

They both looked at her.

Adult Cloud shrugged. “Sometimes it’s better to stay away from Hojo.” He added tightly.

As if that made sense to anyone, but him.

And before they could question it, he continued onward.

While Denzel was still corralled onto his father’s shoulders, and thus couldn’t run off, Yuffie, on the other hand, was way too curious. She started looking over the edge of railings as they walked, this particular time she did it had Adult Cloud moving forward and yanking her back just in time a huge creature rose up from the mako depths below.

It was screeching, and it had a huge materia for a belly, for it only to flop back into the depths.

“Step back!” Adult Cloud was urging, moving back, trying to avoid getting a mako shower.

“The hell was that thing?” Barret asked.

“A Weapon.” Red murmured in awe. 

Cloud looked to Red, then back to the pool beneath them.

That was a Weapon? 

“There’s three of these things?” Cloud asked in rising concern.

“Yep. Best not piss them off any further. Tried that. Didn’t exactly work in anyone’s favour. Firing the Sister Ray at them, just managed to piss them off even more.” Adult Cloud informed.

Cloud blinked at the information.

Don’t fight giant whales who could take on massive cannons to the face.

Got it.

“But it has materia!” Yuffie was pouting. 

Red was glaring at her for her suggestion.

“No.” Adult Cloud was demanding and reached out to the back of her clothing and pulled. “I will throw you into the mine, from here, if you don’t start walking.” He reminded, clearly warning her.

“Yeesh! Got it!” Yuffie pouted, he let her go, and she didn’t move back to the broken railing, in fear of his glaring.

/

/

A/N:

If you want to see why I slightly changed the Umbrella Fight: You can check out my very Australian, very Cloti-Biased, very blind highlights from my playthrough of the beach episode segment of Rebirth here.

You're welcome.

Lemme know if it was funny, please I need validation.

Chapter Text

Long and deep night ends. The beginning flashes at a faraway place. The voice calling you are sleeping shakily echoes in the sky. I felt like tomorrow never come and felt so scared suddenly. Before tears of anxiety turn to a nightmare. The crying you’ve lost. The hope you’ve hidden. I hope they salvage it, and shine on the darkness. Even if the word I spit out stabs my heart and body. I hold you in my arms. Blazing fire sways. And our pain is getting blended together. When I touched you, I finally met your eyes. I’ll be by your side until you awake from a dream. I am here, by your side.

— Hayami Saori (Awake)

17. Awake

The passage way through to the mines, were just like being in the mines they had previously found themselves trekking though.

Barely lit, and with loads of dead-ended tunnels.

Annoying, would be the better term to describe them. 

Coming out of the passage way, they found the bridge up, and they were distracted by several Remnants falling off the causeway in an attempt to go further on their own.

“We’re workin’ on it!” Barret yelled at them.

With them distracted, Cloud barely had the thought that he was moving off the ridge until both Barret and Tifa caught him.

“Hey!” They called out in panic. 

Then everything flared, and Barret barely caught him as he dropped. 

“Whoa!” Most of them then yelled.

Tifa rounded him and grabbed his head gently with both hands. 

“Cloud!” She asked in a panic. 

He had his eyes pinched closed, as he hummed in pain. 

Tifa looked up to see that Adult Cloud was fine, but he was glaring up at the opposite ridge to where Barret noted the controls for the bridge were.

“Tifa.” Her Cloud muttered, barely aware of what was happening. 

“Nope. Let’s sit for a sec.” Aerith chimed in, with worry. 

“This way!” Yuffie said, pointing to a rest stop.

With Cloud only semiconscious, he was still able to help Barret move him. 

He sat down with all of his weight, and grunted. 

“Cloud,” Tifa worried, not caring that her knees hit the dirt to look up into his face.

She moved some of his fringe out the way. His eyes were closed.

Too much. Had it had been too much?

She grasped his hands in worry.

They weren’t trembling, but he was clearly exhausted. 

She looked up and to the side, where the future family was. 

“Potion?” She questioned. 

He shook his head. “Just a little too much.” Adult Cloud announced as he came forward, moving Denzel from his shoulders, and placing the kid next to Cloud. “Stay here.” He noted.

Denzel nodded, and got more comfortable on the bench, wiggling back a little, so his back was leaning against the bench.

“Where are you going?” Mom Tifa questioned. 

Adult Cloud pointed upwards. “Bridge.” He stated.

Then before anyone could protest, he jumped cleanly over the river easily, landing near a giant cog in the cliffside, then upwards and was out of sight.

“Welp. There goes the need for us to do it…?” Yuffie muttered.

They watched as Mom Tifa started to pace the length of the rest stop, looking up every so often.

Tifa focused on her own Cloud.

Everything was quiet, but he felt bone dead tired. 

He wasn’t wandering. He knew that.

Everything in him was quiet.

Everything was exhausted, yet he wasn’t asleep, or unconscious. 

Just…there.

He knew Tifa was holding his hands, that she would be looking up at him from where she was.

Cloud knew it was most likely Denzel sitting next to him, with all the wiggling the kid was doing. 

But he couldn’t open his mouth. His eyes felt like they had bricks attached to them. 

He couldn’t even squeeze Tifa’s hands back.

Could he sleep yet?

He was…

He was tired.

/

/

Mom Tifa perked up and everyone looked to see her looking over the river, to see the older version of Cloud jumping back as the bridge started to slowly lower. 

She immediately rushed to him once he made landfall near her.

“Are you okay?” She questioned. 

He hummed to her, signalling he was fine. 

Denzel, seeing him back, immediately hopped off the bench and raced to him.

“Dad!” He called happily, slamming into his side.

Adult Cloud was helpless to run his fingers through his hair. 

“Hey.” He told him happily.

Denzel giggled into his side happily. 

By now, Tifa was sitting next to Cloud and had him leaning into her, she was hopeful he was resting, but she wasn’t sure if he was. Or could.

He hadn’t reacted to anything she said, and his hold on her was blithe, he was breathing, but there was pain around his closed eyes, that sometimes scrunched his nose up.

She noticed Adult Cloud returning and Denzel running off, so she looked up and watched him come over. 

“How is he?” He questioned. 

“Not exactly…responding?” Tifa muttered in concern.

She wasn’t sure what this was.

He hummed thoughtfully. “Give it five minutes.” He asked.

Tifa blinked, but nodded. She would give him a billion years, but five minutes worked too.

Coming up to five minutes, Tifa finally felt him twitch in awareness, first in his fingers, then within his shoulders. 

“Tifa…?” He muttered. 

“Cloud!” She cried out happily.

“Wha’ happen’…?” He muttered, trying to move.

Everyone heard her get excited by him waking up.

She moved a little to see him better, and saw him trying to open his eyes. 

“Take a second, you’re alright. I think you crashed.” Tifa said.

“Not wander’n?” Cloud muttered. 

Oh, how she needed to bottle up that accent slip. Somehow.

Him being sleepy? Apparently brought it out in spades.

She totally wasn’t gonna remember that.

Or abuse it constantly.

“Nope. All good.” She answered gently.

He moved away finally, blinking at her sleepily. Looked at her for a few seconds, then donked his head back onto her shoulder.

“Heavy.” He noted with exhaustion. 

He needed more than five minutes, but she wasn’t counting.

Tifa looked up at the rest of them, and noted they weren’t annoyed, just concerned. 

She nodded to them, grateful they were taking this in their stride.

Denzel had somehow gotten back up onto his father’s shoulders, and was pointing out something on the other side of the river.

Whatever it was, his father seemed to be explaining it, and distracting him for the time being.

It took at least another ten minutes before Cloud attempted to move again, and this time he was able to hold his head up, and actually get up.

“Careful. Don’t overdo it.” Tifa said gently, taking his hand, and helping him.

He was very grateful to her, and the fact he could stand up on his own. 

“Thanks.” He told her.

“All good?” Adult Cloud asked, seeing him up and about. 

Cloud nodded. “Yeah.” He noted. 

Then they were on their way.

“I am not lookin’ forward to this.” Barret was grumbling in worry.

Adult Cloud looked to him. “Screw ‘em.” He said. 

Barret snorted at him in mirth, while Denzel’s hands slammed down on his father’s head playfully. 

“Bad word! Swear jar!” Denzel yelled. 

Adult Cloud rolled his eyes. “Remind me to add to it, when we get back. Marlene won’t let me live it down.” He muttered. 

Denzel giggled and nodded. “‘Kay!” He said happily.

The reception they got into North Corel was a chilly one, despite the warm climate.

Every glare and jab was at Barret.

“I think my ice materia just upgraded.” Adult Cloud muttered in distaste. 

By then he had brought Denzel down, and had the kid very close to his side, with Mom Tifa on the other.

Cloud was pretty sure his materia actually did at the glares.

He made sure to grip Tifa’s hand a little tighter, checking to make sure the pressure wasn’t too much by scanning her face. 

She nodded happily, and stuck by his side.

Yuffie, was the one who took offence to the village.

“What gives!?” She yelled.

They glared at her, then dismissed the party entirely.

Adult Cloud looked to Barret.

“If we didn’t need to pass through, I wouldn’t. Sorry.” He apologised.

Barret stared at him.

The way he apologised made Barret realise he knew the entire story, and waved him off. 

“You win some, you lose some.” He muttered, walking off.

He shrugged, then looked at Tifa. “You wanna go talk to Sheiran?” He asked gently. 

This got Tifa to stand up taller. 

“Sheiran’s here?” She questioned. 

Adult Cloud jerked his head to the right. “Go on.” He told her.

She gripped Cloud’s hand, the only warning he got, before she bolted.

Everyone went after her.

The followed her into a clinic. 

Sheiran looked mighty proud to see her.

“I wanted to drop by and say thank you.” Tifa told him.

Then he got them to help him draw blood, it was then Cloud noticed that Mom Tifa and Denzel were outside, and Adult Cloud was loitering in the doorway, surveying quietly.

“At first, I thought it was mako poisoning, but then I ran some tests. Results were strange.” Sheiran explained.

Cloud was curious at that. “Strange, how?” He asked. 

Sheiran turned to him, finishing drawing blood. Cloud shoved the impulse to hurl the syringe as far away from himself as he could, back down to the back of his head.

“A substance turned up—one I’ve never seen before.” Sheiran explained. “Not sure what to make of it yet, but it did remind me of one I have seen.” He added. He then noted Cloud fully as he turned to him. “Your eyes. SOLDIER, right?” He asked. 

Cloud heard his older version snort dismissively. 

“Ex.” Cloud stated. It was easier that way.

Sheiran shook his head. 

“It’s not a job, son. Once a SOLDIER, always a SOLDIER.” He stated. He gestured to his needle. “Spare a drop?” He asked.

Everything in him flinched. “No.” No more needles. Maybe he should have thrown it when he had the element of surprise on his side.

Adult Cloud sighed. “Here.” He said, stepping forward.

Sheiran understood the underlining commentary, and rushed to get a fresh needle.

Cloud looked to him, somewhat confused. 

“You can do that?” He asked. 

“I got over it. How do you think I know I’m not degrading?” He said.

Tifa perked up at this. “You’re not?” She asked immediately.

He shook his head. “Everything else, sure, but not that.” He explained. 

They all noted he couldn’t look at the site where Sheiran was. And his face was pinched, eyes glaring and focused on a far wall. 

He did, in fact, not get over it. He tolerated it. At best. Tifa noted. 

His shoulders slumped when Sheiran pulled away.

“If anything, it’ll help you.” Adult Cloud nodded to Cloud.

Cloud stared in confusion. “How?” He asked curiously.

“You want to be sure you’re not degrading? It’s in your blood work.” Adult Cloud noted.

Cloud flinched. 

“I’m not having needles put in me again.” He hissed, stepping back.

Tifa noted the ‘again’ part of his comment, and squeezed his hand. 

He nodded. “Which is why I did it.” He answered. 

Sheiran came back, five minutes later, looking absolutely confused.

“You good there, doc?” Barret asked curiously.

The man was frowning. “But you’re a SOLDIER?” He questioned. 

“Never said I was.” Adult Cloud commented. 

There he went again, saying he wasn’t.

“But you have the eyes for it.” Sheiran commented. 

“You’re gonna find out that there are other ways than what you know that get the same results.” He remarked warningly. 

Sheiran heard the warning tone loud and clear. “Well, if you say so. It’s the damnedest thing.” He said, in confusion.

“What’s wrong?” Tifa asked him.

He looked at her.

“Not-SOLDIER here, isn’t degrading like these men are, but they share common traits, but also not.” He answered, pointing to him results.

On the console were two results, one in red, one in green.

They crowded it in curiosity. 

“I know my own blood work by now,” Adult Cloud stated, and pointed to the green one. “That’s mine.” He added.

Sheiran blinked. 

“Correct. Why are you so familiar with your own…?” He asked. 

Adult Cloud looked at him, extremely unimpressed. “Take a wild guess.” He muttered.

Sheiran clicked his tongue. 

He had a fair point. 

“Can you use this as a baseline?” Adult Cloud questioned.

Sheiran. “If you consent.” He answered.

“Keep it as a record, he might need it,” Adult Cloud jerked his head at Cloud, then before anyone could say anything else he was pulling out his futuristic PHS, and aiming it at the console, then there on the smaller screen were the results. “Bye.” He said, then walked out.

Sheiran didn’t call him back, even if he looked like he wanted to.

He knew he wouldn’t get the man to come back and explain what the hell he just did, or what he actually was looking at.

“Alright. Can you explain that?” Barret barrelled after Adult Cloud to question in an explosion of words. 

“Sure. Not here, though.” He said, then looked at Denzel. “And maybe when he’s not awake…” He muttered.

Barret nodded, he could understand waiting until children went to bed to discuss difficult topics.

Adult Cloud noted Tifa’s concern. “It’s not that bad.” He told her.

This appeased her only a little.

He then made his presence known to his own version of Tifa and to Denzel.

Both looked at him, and smiled. 

“You’re back!” Denzel said, rushing up to him.

They all noted the kid gave the clinic a wide berth in nervousness.

“… You okay…?” He asked him. Denzel nodded. “Ready to keep going?” He asked not just Denzel as he looked around.

No one said anything otherwise, so he turned to the direction of the cable car.

Chapter Text

When our heartbeats collide, I won’t mind, in a place we’ve never been before. I'm reaching out for the moon and stars beyond it. Though I feel left behind sometimes when you close the door, I wanna know who you are. The moment that life hits you, you can’t avoid the issue, you’re disconnected from the world you thought you were part of. But if you close your eyes and let go of that mirage you haven’t met, nobody else decides the words you see in your heart. How can I find a love lost in time? There’s an answer in the stars for me. I will follow the signs ‘cause I know when I reach the end it’s you I’ll see.

— Kylie McNeil (U)

18. U

By the time the rail car came, Denzel was exhausted. They could all see it in his face.

“Dad?” He muttered.

Adult Cloud looked over to him, with no one around at the waiting zone, the kid had taken his goggles off, and was rubbing his eyes tiredly.

They heard him click his tongue in worry, before kneeling down to the kid, and gently taking his hand away from his eyes.

“Don’t rub.” He chided in paternal concern.

“Can I…?” Denzel muttered, but didn’t elaborate.

They saw the frown the unfinished question made, then the look up and down to investigate. 

He paused on Denzel, opening and closing his fists several times, needfully. 

Then he hummed, standing up and taking his kid with him. 

“You’re way too much like me. Don’t lose your voice too.” He muttered quietly, tapping his bottom lip as the car came to a stop. 

Denzel just buried his head into his shoulder.

Adult Cloud blinked in worry, then looked back to his Tifa.

“I’m a bad influence?” He questioned in worry.

Mom Tifa snorted. 

“Oh no. This is great. Before, he wouldn’t even have dared to ask.” She insisted, beaming. 

He frowned. “If you’re sure. He doesn’t need my childhood.” He mumbled. 

Everyone else frowned in confusion at this passing comment.

They noted that with them all settled into the car, Adult Cloud started to massage around Denzel’s eyes.

So, Yuffie rounded on Barret instead.

“So, what gives!” She protested, then squeaked in alarm when Adult Cloud glared at her for being too loud. “What gives.” She said again in whisper.

Barret sighed, but elaborated on the reasons, on Corel’s history, as the car decided to close its doors and trundle slowly on its way.

By the time Barret had finished explaining how the Corel Reactor had exploded and what happened afterwards, Denzel had fallen asleep against his father’s side.

“Murderers!” Yuffie hissed through her teeth angrily.

“That they are, but I don’t need your sympathy and pity! We have other problems we need to worry about!” Barret insisted, gesturing to the future family.

Adult Cloud sided his head. 

“Should I resent that?” He asked, mirth in his tone.

“You’ve always been a problem.” Mom Tifa insisted teasingly.

He turned to her, softly appalled. “Wow.” He argued airily and playfully. 

Mom Tifa snickered. “You’re my problem. But…” She gestured airily. 

“Very funny.” He muttered.

“Seriously!” Yuffie pouted.

They all watched as a single one of his eyebrows rose in annoyance, curiously.

“Loud.” He muttered back, looking down to make sure Denzel wasn’t affected.

“Sorry.” Yuffie muttered, sitting down. “But, yeah…?” She said, eagerly.

Tifa didn’t see his curious head tilt when she turned to glare at Yuffie.

“Maybe ask if he can talk, before demanding?” She questioned, offended.

Yuffie blinked to her, then paled. “Sorry!” She panicked, waving her arms.

They all looked at him when they heard him sigh, in what sounded like soft vexation. 

“I’m not offended.” He said, as he crossed arms. “It’s just a little hard to explain.” Adult Cloud stated. 

“Take it one at a time?” Mom Tifa encouraged. 

He looked at her. “And start with what?” He asked, flummoxed. 

She shrugged one shoulder, as she slid up to his side. 

“Maybe start with the blood work, I figured you would have taken a photo?” She asked, gently. 

His face pinched, but he pulled out his PHS, and the photo he took of the blood work lit up as a holographic display. 

Her little interested hum as she looked told them she was as curious as they were. 

“But you know this?” Adult Cloud rebutted, hearing her. 

“Yes. But not all of it.” She said.

He frowned, in confusion.

“Start at the beginning.” Mom Tifa urged.

They saw the mischievous grin he suddenly had.

“I was born in Nibelheim on the—” She whacked his arm. 

“Not what I meant!” She insisted, laughing.

He snorted, but nodded. 

“Green is mine,” He reminded. “Red is that of a dying Remnant.” He added. 

None were biologists, or well-informed of medical science, but between the two colours, the patterns of the blood were different.

“Mine would be the green as well?” Cloud asked quietly.

Adult Cloud nodded. “Hasn’t changed in routine checks, so the best guess once it was altered during those four years, it hasn’t mutated since.” He answered. 

“You can stand checks?” Cloud spat out hurriedly. 

They saw the pinch on the older version’s face. 

Then Mom Tifa’s shake of her head. “Oh no. The first one he had? He was unconscious at the time.” She informed. “The second time, he didn’t do any better.” She added. 

They heard the rudimentary snort. 

“I still should probably apologise to Reeve for exploding his doctor’s office.” He grimaced. 

Mom Tifa giggled. “I think he gets it, though. So, don’t worry too much. I apologised to him. And it was my idea in the first place.” She said gently. 

Cloud blinked in realisation.

There it was.

The reason for the checks. Tifa asked.

“Aside from blowing up the room?” Cloud asked. They looked to him. “What did you find?” He asked. 

“Aside from finding the definite S gene markers,” He pointed to the change on the green blood work. “Which we already knew existed, we found the lack of J components.” He explained, pointing to the difference on the red blood work.

They stared at the holographic photo.

S?

J?

They must have looked confused.

“J components,” He started explaining further, and with a pull of his thumb and forefinger, he zoomed into that particular difference on the red side. “Are what ShinRa flood the mako they put into SOLDIERs to enhance them. As just flooding people with regular mako just gives them poisoning to it. They end up dead, not enhanced. But with the J components added, you get SOLDIER.” He added. 

They all leaned in to view the odd little statistic that gave humans the ability to be enhanced. 

“But it’s also what gives them degradation, then you’ve seen what happens after that.” He insisted. 

What came afterwards, was such a case of mako poisoning that they saw in the men in robes, Remnants. 

“And what’s left of them, Remnants, is…?” Cloud asked, staring.

“Nothing but something only Sephiroth can influence. It’s what he’s trying to do with you.” Adult Cloud answered.

Cloud pulled back. “Seems to be doing a pretty good job.” He hissed in panic.

Only to pause when Adult Cloud shook his head. “Oh, he does a good job, until you realise what’s going on and fight him on it.” He explained.

“When did you…?” Tifa asked urgently. 

If that moment came, then maybe she could be prepared? 

She panicked when he paled and leaned back in his seat.

“I didn’t mean—!” She insisted, fast and apologetic. 

They watched as he was grounded when Mom Tifa placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re alright.” She muttered. 

He turned his face away. “This is hard.” He muttered. 

If he needed a minute, they would give him one.

“Want me to…?” Mom Tifa asked. 

He looked back to her, surprised. 

“You don’t need to.” He insisted. 

She shook her head. “I’ll be alright. You’re right here. And you need a minute.” She answered.

Cloud wasn’t the only one to realise whatever moment they were trying to explain would be a hard one to recall. And a hard one to hear about. 

He figured that out only a second before he felt Tifa move closer to him, and grab his hand. He turned to look at her, and saw her worried expression. Looking at everyone else, he saw the same expression mirrored. 

“So!” Mom Tifa started, causing most of them to jump and turn back to her. “The J components in people, are what causes degradation, we got that so far?” They all nodded mutely. She flicked her hand at the hologram, and it zoomed out, with another flick, she zoomed in on the difference in Cloud’s blood. “The S gene, is what you can see in Cloud. It’s easily confused with J, and that of general mako poisoning, because that’s all you’ve technically seen so far. What is specific to S gene, is the ability to see its host, and for the host to interact with its carrier.” She announced. 

The boot dropped. 

S? It was short for Sephiroth. 

“And when did Cloud realise he was being controlled? I think part of you realised at the Ancient Temple, but it was a little too late, thanks to him starting to make you believe you weren’t Cloud to begin with. Then thanks to you falling into the Life stream at the Northern Crater, then again, at Mideel, it wasn’t until after that. But we all knew something was up at the Temple.” She explained. 

Tifa stared in horror. 

Just how many times did Cloud need to fall into the Life stream!?

She couldn’t help but clutch Cloud’s hand harder. 

Just how many times did Sephiroth need to try to take him away?

“Why?” She muttered, not aware she was actually voicing her concern, or that she was about to cry.

She realised she spoke when Cloud returned her gesture and gripped a little tighter in return.

As if to help her remember that he was still sitting next to her.

Tifa needed that.

“Why?” Adult Cloud asked, making them look at him. Apparently his minute of recovery was up. “Poetic justice. I killed him. He didn’t exactly like that.” He answered simply.

Welp. If he was up for more questions. “Why did it take five years?” Tifa asked.

“I’m going to assume resisting dissolving and then figuring out how to manipulate the Life stream would take a while. He wouldn’t’ve been able to take form until he figured he could, and he needed enough Remnants to control and someone alive with a positive S gene.” He explained.

Adult Cloud shrugged one shoulder. “Aerith and Zack returned to the Planet three years ago, and only recently have I seen them that wasn’t a one-off emergency.” He added.

That made everyone jolt at the blasé remark that confirmed Aerith was actually dead.

Suddenly it made sense to Cloud, what Zack wanted to be changed, what had happened at the Forgotten Capital. 

He could also guess from context that the so-called J component meant Jenova. Saying the name out loud always made him twitch, so he knew why they were shortening it.

“But we’re still heading in the same direction.” Cloud demanded.

They looked at him curiously.

“We need to change what happens, so why are we still on the course that gets us there?” He added, urgently. He gripped his side. “I know we’re going in the direction he wants us to go in.” He muttered. 

In that direction is the place where he not only falls into the Life stream, not once, but twice, and where he throws Tifa into the very same place!

“You can feel which direction he wants you to go in?” Adult Cloud asked, sounding curious. 

Cloud nodded, and pointed in the very same direction the car was pulling them to, to where they could see the Gold Saucer slowly looming in size. 

They heard the surprised hum from the older version of Cloud at the statement. “Not something I was able to pick up this early.” He praised.

Cloud flinched. Felt weird to receive praise from himself.

“But yes, we are going on the track he wants us to go in.” He elaborated. 

Cloud looked back to him so fast, his neck cracked loudly. 

“Then why?!” He demanded, almost heatedly. He wasn’t loud. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered the child sleeping in his vicinity.

“Because there’s something at the Gold Saucer we need to destroy, and using where he wants you to go to as a distraction for it, sounds like a really good idea.” Adult Cloud answered. 

“So…we’re using it as cover?” Yuffie questioned. 

Cloud stared. 

So, they were using the fact that Sephiroth didn’t know they knew about him leading them by Cloud’s hand to do exactly what he didn’t want?

Now his head felt dizzy. 

Confusing.

“Essentially. Yes.” He answered. 

“And he won’t notice?” Tifa asked nervously.

“He hasn’t yet. Though, I do seem to have a good track record of throwing him back into the Life stream. Three times so far.” He ensured, mirth clinging to his tone. 

Why was that comforting?

That should be alarming.

So aside from the fact he’s been thrown into the Life stream, resulting in three prolonged exposures to mako poisoning, (or did it just make it one extremely long prolonged exposure?) Throwing Tifa, Aerith dying, killing Sephiroth three times, and seeing dead people on the occasional bout of not actually being insane…

He…was fine…?

Sounded…

Fake?

“So, what, you’re actually fine?” Cloud questioned, incredulous. 

Adult Cloud snorted. “Far from it—” Mom Tifa whacked his shoulder, and he poked his tongue out at her, childishly, earning a giggle. “But I’m getting better. Not dying is a good place to start. No degradation, and when Sephiroth decides to not be a pain in my ass, I don’t need to worry about him. It does help I have, at any one time, at least three people willing to kick my ass and not take my bullshit.” He answered. 

They saw the victorious loud grin from Mom Tifa and she hit his shoulder. 

“Hey!” He snipped back. “I am fine!” He called. 

She grinned. “Pay back.” She answered, teasingly. 

He, in a second, slumped. “Tifa.” He answered in a pout. His tone was a blending of what seemed like despondence and acceptance. 

But it made her grin. “You’re getting there. Maybe this time round, you’ll actually ask for help.” 

He stared at her. 

“I ask for help!” He insisted of her heatedly.

She glanced at him, incredulously. “Before you leap head first.” She elaborated. 

He looked about ready to answer, paused, then closed his mouth. 

“Yeah. Fair.” He muttered in acceptance. 

This made her giggle happily.

By now, the rest realised they had been forgotten, not that they minded. 

Barret, especially not, based on the massive grin and the load of blackmail he was receiving.

“I’ll keep tabs.” She ensured happily. 

“Please don’t. It’ll get back to Cid, and then I’ll never hear the end of it.” He answered softly. 

That made her laugh.

“Oh, how we’ll rue the day when Cid finds out you’re his exact mirror? You do know he kisses the floor Shera walks on, right?” She laughed. “He was worse than you!” She cajoled.

Adult Cloud blinked. “You think what he did was worse than what I did throughout Geostigma?” He asked, sounding astounded she thought so.

She hummed. “And if they can work through what he did. We’re fine.” She insisted. 

They saw the look of disbelief on his face.

As if he couldn’t believe she said what she said.

“Cloud. You’ll catch flies.” She reminded with a laugh.

He pulled a face, shut his mouth making his teeth click then looked around to realise where they were. 

“Oh. Right.” He muttered. 

Mom Tifa giggled. 

Seeing the Gold Saucer coming up closer in the setting sun made Cloud remember he had one more question. 

“Right, and what exactly do we need to destroy, by the way?” Cloud finally asked, seeing a moment where he could. 

He didn’t like the grin he suddenly saw on his counterpart’s face. 

“Oh. Yeah. We’re going to destroy an Ancient keystone.” He stated, happily.

Chapter Text

Ran out the door some years ago, slingin’ words like thistles and stones. Said, “No need to worry, I’ll never come home!”. My mum cryin’, “Don’t go!”, as I raced down the road. Straight through ‘til sun fell, I kept up the pace ‘til darkness embraced me and I lost my way. Weary from travel and wet from the rain, I stopped at a tavern where a rough-cut man said, “What’s your business, lad?” I can’t find my way back home. It’s cold. It’s dark. I’m all alone. He said, “You’re not lost yet. Just follow the compass that beats in your chest.” My love said, “We can make our way back home, I’m here, you’re not alone. I’ll fight with you.”

— Sail North (Compass)

19. Compass

Seeing the Gold Saucer coming up closer in the setting sun made Cloud remember he had one more question. 

“Right, and what exactly do we need to destroy, by the way?” Cloud finally asked, seeing a moment where he could. 

He didn’t like the grin he suddenly saw on his counterpart’s face. 

“Oh. Yeah. We’re going to destroy an Ancient keystone.” He stated, happily.

They needed to destroy a WHAT?!

“WHAT?!” Many yelled in panic.

The noise woke Denzel.

“Huh?” He muttered, moving from leaning into his father.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Adult Cloud praised. “Good. Just in time.” He answered.

Denzel looked up, about ready to question him, before the question was literally answered, and silencing everyone else in awe.

They had arrived at the Gold Saucer.

And it was going to remind them of that fact. 

Suddenly they forgot what they had been talking about.

Holographic holograms lit up around them, ranging from chocobos, to Ifrit and Shiva dancing around them, fireworks, and the neon signs of each part of the Gold Saucer was on display.

Denzel was up and standing on his seat in seconds. 

“Dad!” He yelled, pointing as he hit his father on his pauldron a million times, making the ring in the wolf’s maw complain loudly as it was shaken from the abuse.

Adult Cloud didn’t seem to mind, seeing as he was grinning at the sight of his kid’s enjoyment.

Denzel was right next to Yuffie to rush out of the rail car first, while both versions of Cloud took their time to retrieve their swords, they were last out, not that they were complaining. 

Mom Tifa was eagerly running after Denzel, who took off the second his feet touched ground, and everyone else was running to follow. 

Cloud heard the quick apology his elder version made at every Remnant he passed on their way to the others. He noted the man didn’t seem to mind the fact his family had run off and left him behind. He probably knew where they would end up. So wasn’t too worried.

All for it, Cloud felt himself relax at the idea.

Why, he didn’t exactly know.

“Do we apologise to Aerith?” Cloud asked. 

Adult Cloud turned to him. “We should always apologise to Aerith. But to which are you referring to this time?” He asked. 

Cloud blinked. “You said we need to destroy something that was Ancient?” He questioned. 

He nodded.

“Figured the best way to ensure none of us step foot in the Temple would be to destroy the key.” He elaborated. 

Huh.

Yeah. That would work. 

Down the stairs, the saw the group had waited for them, but barely, judging on the bouncing enthusiasm of Yuffie and Denzel, seeing them come closer, they and the girls dashed off for the entrance. 

“You’re not worried?” Cloud asked over Barret loudly laughing. 

Adult Cloud shook his head. “They can’t get far.” He announced. 

Before Cloud could blink there was a massive parade stampeding around them, that he was corralled into, which he would very much like to not, thanks. He glared when he realised his elder had gotten out of dodge, immediately leaving him by himself.

Dance offs and fights? He’d rather… not.

If anything, Tifa looked like she was having fun at his expense at least. 

But damn how he was tired afterwards, but he did get a lifetime membership group pass, so yay?

Like, it had taken all of his strength, and now he felt like he was going to collapse.

In the mass confusion, most of them had gotten separated, and they needed to find each other in the dispersing crowd.

Most of them met up by a map of the Saucer inside the gates. 

“Wait.” Mom Tifa started, looking around, sounding worried. 

They looked to her, and Denzel looked up at her when she started talking. 

“Where’s Cloud?” She asked. 

By deduction alone, Cloud could guess she didn’t mean him. But her husband.

Who seemed to be missing.

So, like the rest, he looked around for any sign of blonde hair and long black clothing.

“Mom!” Denzel started, pointing outwards. “There!” He said.

Looking in the direction he was pointing, they found Adult Cloud, leaning down and looking at a cat.

Who…was moving…?

Who he immediately latched onto when it decided to book it, pulled it off the floor by the back of its cape, and walked in their direction. The cat looked guilty?!

“You didn’t answer my question.” He was stating as he came in hearing range. 

“I donae know what ye’ mean!” The cat was actually protesting. 

“I asked if you were being piloted remotely, and you know exactly what I mean.” He answered.

Mom Tifa looked as if she understood. “This is best done indoors.” She said gently, pointing towards the Ghost Square.

Before they could move off, Tifa was yanked backwards when Cloud didn’t move with her. 

She looked over to him, and whined in alarm when she noticed he was staring at something that only he could see.

“Cloud?” She voiced in alarm, tugging on his hand in worry.

This had everyone turning to her, and noticing what was happening.

Tifa noted the panicked look, and the uncontrolled step back he did. While his hand wasn’t trembling, he was clearly seeing something that was scaring him. So, she immediately moved in front of him, grabbed his head and pulled him under her chin, hoping he couldn’t see whatever it was any longer. 

He grunted in awareness once he was there, then she yelped in surprise when he gathered her close.

“Tifa.” He answered softly.

There was a pleading tone alongside his gratitude, like she had just done something that helped him. But there was also tiredness strung into his tone.

“Yeah.” She heard the older version of Cloud voice suddenly. “Let’s not do this here.” He answered.

“Cloud?” She asked gently. 

“He was there.” He muttered into her shoulder.

He didn’t need to elaborate on whom he saw.

“Quick check to see if you can still see him.” Tifa asked gently. 

She hated to ask, and she hated he pulled away to check. He must have not seen him, because he pulled back entirely. 

But he didn’t let go of her hand, or go too far from her, as they went to find the hotel.

Tifa was fine with that. Absolutely. 

Adult Cloud shoved the cat onto the reception desk.

“Do your thing, cat. Now.” He ordered. “I know where your owner lives.” He added, mildly threatening. 

He was the only one to not jump in fright when the concierge pulled down from the ceiling.

They noted the glare Adult Cloud used on the cat when the dangling man insisted there wasn’t any room.

“One, or two?” The cat muttered in fear.

“Two.” He ordered. 

The cat was immediately nodding.

And suddenly, just like that, there were two executive suites available.

One of which they all piled into.

Denzel was freaking out over the walking Tonberry that Cloud almost attacked before he realised it was a humidifier. Because why?

“Are you being remotely piloted.” Adult Cloud was demanding.

The cat immediately shook its head. 

“Get me Reeve. Now.” He ordered. 

The cat saluted, then went limp, sitting on the floor like its strings had been cut so suddenly.

Denzel was pouting. 

“Aw. Where’d Cait go?” He asked, sounding actually sad about this fact. 

“Went to go get Reeve.” Adult Cloud answered gently. 

Denzel snorted. “Can I go explore, then? Reeve means a talk. And he’s boring.” He said, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t get into trouble.” Adult Cloud warned, tossing him a key card to the room. 

“I won’t!” Denzel answered, pocketing the card, before dashing out of the room.

Adult Cloud was sitting on the floor in front of the collapsed cat, his sword behind him. Easily in grabbing range, they all noticed. Everyone else found a chair or bed to sit on. There were a few missteps when the decor tried to attack them. If another bat came down on Cloud’s head, he would hurl it into the damn sun. And he wouldn’t be apologetic about it.

A few minutes past with no bats thrown into the sun, had Cloud looking to the door. 

“… Will he be alright?” He asked in concern for the child who raced out the door. 

“Denzel will be fine by himself. He frequently reminds me that he took care of himself after the plate fell, then Meteor.” Everyone else flinched at the reminder. “I’d rather he wasn’t by himself, but he doesn’t need to hear this, and he won’t actually get too far into the Saucer without parental guidance. He’ll be back, well after half an hour, pouting that he needs either of our help.” Adult Cloud explained. 

With that Cloud could assume this talk would take half an hour.

It was ten minutes before the cat twitched and was sitting up. 

By then, Cloud had figured this cat… thing? might try to run for it once awake, and was guarding the only door out of the room.

“Reeve.” Adult Cloud started. 

The cat’s head went to one side.

“How danae know…?” The first question was. 

Apparently the accent was built in, even if the voice was suddenly a little different. 

Rather unnerving.

Adult Cloud leaned down. 

“Take a very close look.” He warned. 

The cat was up on his feet, and looking the man up and down, with permission granted. 

The cat then shrieked, and pointed at his face. He didn’t need to look at the other blonde in the room for certainty.

“How are ye here?!” It shrieked in panic. 

“Can the volume.” Adult Cloud warned. “And the surveillance.” He added with a glare. 

The cat blinked. 

“While I don’t mind you, there are others who currently mind me.” He answered. 

The cat sat back down, and sighed in relief.

“There int’ no one watch’n us.” The cat swore. 

“And we trust that, why!?” Barret was yelling.

Adult Cloud was glaring. “You trust me?” He asked. Barret blinked, but nodded. “And I trust him, so can the noise, please. You’re gonna bust my ears.” He warned.

Barret muttered an apology, he nodded and looked back at the cat, looking confused.

“What dae’ye want wit’ me?” The cat questioned. 

“Your last conference with Rufus.” The cat flinched in panic. “Was he more interested in the WEAPONs or finding the Promised Land?” He asked, as if trying to get an idea of where he was.

There were a few who flinched at the latter being mentioned. 

“Both.” The cat said, confused as to why he was being asked.

Adult Cloud nodded, as if he understood. 

“The progress with the Promised Land?” He asked. 

The cat threw up his hands. “Nada thing!” He answered. 

Adult Cloud leaned out, and hummed in satisfaction.

“Thanks, Reeve.” He said, nodding.

The cat blinked.

“Tha’s…Tha’s it?” He questioned, shocked. 

He nodded. “I know you’re busy, sorry for calling you so suddenly, but my PHS can’t call you.” He informed. 

“Danae ‘ave my number?” He asked, just as shocked as everyone else was, minus Mom Tifa.

He hummed, pulling out his PHS, and scrolled down in his contacts, then showed the details in the surrounding air. It, and alongside the futuristic date and time of recent call. The log book showed it was wrung several times for various lengths of time, and that of Seventh Heaven, Tifa’s and a few that had their names attached to, and others they didn’t know in a short time span. Then a group call.

“Tha’s my number.” The cat said, in confused wonder. 

Adult Cloud hummed faintly.

“What now?” He asked. 

Adult Cloud shrugged. “Can you get me an audience with Dio, preferably in the next half an hour? Then we can talk more tomorrow.” He asked. 

The cat made a big show of nodding. “Okay!” Then made a big show of waving, and making himself scarce.

Once the cat was gone, he was sighing in relief. Then looked up to find his Tifa.

“Tifa.” He called. 

Mom Tifa hummed and looked down. “Hi.” She answered easily.

“Hey.” He replied. “Question?” He asked. She sided her head at him. “Wanna go smash a relic?” He added, his tone turning mischievous. 

She laughed. “Oh, I am gonna whoop its butt.” She cajoled, then held out her arm. “Up. Strife. Now.” She demanded. 

He took her hand and got up.

Once he was, he turned to them.

“Okay, I’m gonna go solve a few problems. Then create more problems. If we miss Denzel on our way around, and he comes back before us,” He pointed to a bed. “That’s his. He won’t cause too much chaos. He’s not mine by blood.” He elaborated. 

Mom Tifa huffed. “You make it sound like you were a gremlin at his age.” She pouted. 

He looked at her. “I was. To everyone but you.” He amended extremely easily.

This got a few laughs from everyone. 

“Does that mean if someone else holds down the fort, I can go out!?” Yuffie was demanded eagerly. 

Aerith put up her hand. “I wanna go!” She demanded kindly.

Cloud sighed out in annoyance. 

“As long as you’re back by tomorrow, I really don’t care.” He grumbled.

“Yay!” The two girls cheered much too loudly for either blonde. 

They, and Red, scuttled out the door extremely rushed, as if they thought a second longer dallying Cloud would call them back.

“I have a relic to smash.” Adult Cloud said, somehow gleefully, and mischievously, and he and Mom Tifa left with a wave.

Barret sighed out, tiredly. 

“I’m gonna take a walk.” He muttered, sounding tired, hoping it would help him get some fresh air and time to actually think.

Then he left, and it was just Cloud and Tifa left behind.

As soon as it was just them, Cloud’s shoulders heaved in relief.

“Loud.” He muttered tiredly.

He turned to Tifa when he heard her giggle. 

“I’m sure you can catch up to them?” He asked her. 

Tifa turned to him, a curious, confused frown on her face. “Why would I do that?” She asked.

Cloud blinked. “You don’t need to stay. Have fun? I’m tired.” He tried to explain.

Probably not well.

He was tired, and he would probably fall asleep.

But if the door opened, or if anyone came back, he’d wake up by the noise, so if Denzel came back, he’d wake up.

He wasn’t too sure if he could entertain the kid, but he could surely watch over him until his father came back. Surely the kid could entertain himself, and just needed supervision?

Tifa? Tifa could go out and have fun with Yuffie and Aerith. Sure, he’d rather her not, and stay with him. But that sounded stifling. And controlling. And a whole bottle of nope.

Tifa smiled and shook her head. 

“What makes you think I want to be anywhere else?” She questioned.

“You should?” He asked, completely lost and confused. 

She hummed and shook her head. “Nope. I’m staying with you. … Unless you want me to leave?” She stalled to question.

Cloud immediately shook his head. “No, that’s not—! I just, won’t you be bored? I’m tired.” He amended. 

She came over to him and tugged on his hand. “A cat nap, then, and then when someone comes back, we can go look around, ‘Kay?” She asked.

He blinked. That… Seemed fair. 

“Sure.” He settled for the compromise. 

Cloud wandered over to the bed in the nook, and settled his sword by it to shuffle off his boots, and noted with some surprise Tifa was taking her armour off alongside her boots.

“Tifa?” He questioned curiously. 

She came over from laying her armour on the table. 

“I’ll lay with you, if you want? Might help you sleep.” She insisted.

He blinked.

Well, if she was going to suggest, he wasn’t going to say no.

So, he nodded. 

“Sure, if you want.” He answered.

It must have been the right answer, because she grinned and rounded the bed. 

“I choose this side!” Then she climbed in and threw the covers halfway down. “In!” She demanded. 

So in he got. 

He was sure they were too close, but she didn’t seem to protest that their feet were tangled as close together as their hands and arms were. 

Cloud barely moved around to look at her, before a wave of tiredness hit him. 

“Tifa.” He called tiredly to her, squeezing her hand gently.

“I’m here, Cloud. Sleep.” She answered softly.

And sleep he did.

Chapter Text

And I’d give up forever to touch you. ‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow. You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be. And all I could taste is this moment. And all I can breathe is your life. Sooner or later, it’s over, I just don’t wanna miss you tonight. And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming, or the moment of truth in your lies. And I don’t want the world to see me. ‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken:
I just want you to know who I am.

— Jada Facer (Iris)

20. Iris

Tifa didn’t fall asleep as she held him in her arms. 

He was heavy, but she would never complain about it to him.

The fact that he was there and actually letting her be this close to him, was making her head spin giddily.

He didn’t snore, or even move once he was settled against her side. She doubted he even realised he moved his head onto her shoulder, or that he shoved his head into her. 

She could feel him breathing against her neck, the subtle strength he had in the arm that wrapped around her torso to cling to her hand.

Some when, an hour into him sleeping on her, her spare hand had wound up buried in his hair.

She wouldn’t move him, unless she absolutely had to. Like the world was ending, type absolutely. 

If not. She’d stay put.

Tifa felt him huff a few times as he settled, sometimes he clenched her hand a little too hard when he whimpered. At the sound, she gripped him tighter, hoping he would know she was still next to him.

When he started to shiver, she did some fancy foot work to move the covers up so she could grab them. 

He made a dissatisfied grumble when she moved her hand away from his head, so she quickly moved it back once she was sure the blankets were around him. There he settled again.

It wasn’t hard for her to settle there and guard him.

If she was any help in that regard.

She hoped she helped. Even in some small measure.

Hopefully she still grounded him.

She couldn’t help put freeze when he twitched, nearly two hours in. 

“Tifa.” He muttered, disorientated. 

“Cloud?” She questioned gently.

With his head still buried into her neck, she couldn’t see if he was awake, or just mumbling in his sleep after her.

She didn’t know whether he was nuzzling his nose into her intentionally or not, when he hummed.

“Cloud?” She called again quietly, trying to move a little to look down.

He didn’t answer. She shifted a little more and was able to finally see his face. 

Still, eyes closed and asleep.

She tried to make sure her heart didn’t explode.

But also, why did this man need naturally extended eyelashes!

Injustice. She swore with a little quiet chortle. 

But she left him be, and moved back so she could run her hand through his hair again.

It had no right being that soft.

Tifa couldn’t help that she actually did doze off a little.

“Tifa?” He questioned softly.

She jolted at the sudden noise. 

“Sorry!” He cried, and bolted. 

One second he was in her arms, the next he was catapulting off the bed in a panic.

She was left there, blinking in confusion as to where he, the warmth, and the entirety of the blankets she piled onto him went to.

“What?” She muttered, sitting up. 

“Did I hurt you?” He asked urgently, leaning back in.

Tifa blinked then looked at him. “No? Why would you think that?” She questioned, completely confused.

Tifa watched as confusion rolled onto his face, then he, inch by inch, crept back to sitting on the bed. 

“… You’re not hurt?” He asked. 

She shook her head. “You’ve yet to explain why you thought you hurt me?” She reminded.

She froze up when his hand came up to brush away some of her hair back over her shoulder, and her fringe behind her ear.

“You jumped, thought I hurt you.” He muttered quietly. 

Tifa blinked in realisation.

Ah.

Of course, he would blame himself. 

She shook her head fast. “Nope. I was dozing, and there’s no sound until you woke up. Nothing hurt!” She insisted.

She bore his weight as he looked her up and down, searchingly.

As if he didn’t believe himself, or what he saw. 

“You sure…?” He asked. 

She nodded. “Nothing’s wrong.” She added intently, taking hold of his nearest hand and tugging intentionally. 

Tifa watched as he started to frown, and his head started to move a little to the side. 

Then the door creaked, and he was moving.

Away from her, as if burned.

In a second, he had crossed to the Buster sword, threateningly. 

“If anyone's awake! It’s me!” Came a younger voice. 

The door was creaking open, and there was a knock.

The voice? 

Denzel. 

All threat drained out of him in an instant.

“It’s just us!” He called back. 

Denzel struggled with opening the door.

Seeing the boy struggle, Cloud left the Buster sword, and crossed the room to hold the door open for him.

“Thanks!” The kid beamed, before searching around him. 

“Just us.” Tifa said kindly.

Denzel blinked as he came into the room, and Cloud closed the door.

“Where’s everyone else?” He asked, curiously.

Cloud shrugged. 

“I don’t think anyone has been here before. Your parents are off making problems, I think.” Cloud muttered.

Denzel absolutely snorted at this in glee. 

“They did say that if you came back first that this,” Tifa started, and pointing to a bed. “Would be yours to sleep in, if you’re tired.” She reminded. 

Denzel nodded. “I’m kinda…not?” He stated, fiddling with a ring around his neck.

Cloud caught the gesture and couldn’t help but zoom in on the ring.

A wolf’s maw. Like the pauldron. And the other ring on Mom Tifa’s wedding finger.

Huh. Cool. A symbolised wolf pack.

“You’re not tired?” He asked. 

Denzel looked at him, and shook his head. 

“Not really? I mean, I couldn’t get far because I needed my parents. They won’t even let me play at the arcade without them.” He was pouting. 

Cloud looked over to Tifa, and she nodded. 

“Want us to help you find them?” He asked. 

This seemed to be the right answer, the kid looked up at him and beamed. 

“Yes please!” Denzel crowed. 

He saw the confused but needful look Denzel was making at his side.

Cloud followed the look, and noted the kid was staring at his hand. 

Ah. 

Fair. 

The kid wasn’t two seconds without being near his father, or his hand in his. 

Comfort, maybe?

Hand holding, as Cloud had found out in the past three or so days, was a stress reliever. 

He looked over to see Tifa was retriever her gloves and sleeves, getting ready to leave, had not noticed the look. 

“C’mon, kid.” Cloud announced, grabbing his hand. “Let’s go find ‘em.” He stated. 

Cloud didn’t bring up the fact the kid beamed as if he had done something right.

As if the simple gesture meant the world to him.

Or the fact the kid returned the gesture immediately.

This kid had so much faith and awe in him. It was almost dizzying. He meant so much to this kid.

It took him a second longer to realise in the near future, his own future, this was his kid. His responsibility. This kid called him Dad.

“How old are you, anyway?” Cloud questioned. 

“I’m nine! Almost ten!” He informed proudly.

It then hit him even harder that this kid that was beaming up at him like he had hung the stars and moon for him? There would be another, a smaller version of him back in Midgar. 

He’d be, what, four, five, now?

Technically, he wasn’t his responsibility now.

But damn did the protectiveness go through him like a nail to the foot. 

Cloud ended up nodding as he shoved the instinct back down where it came from. 

It was a good future to know that could happen, if the now didn’t get in the way.

Denzel tugged at his hand. 

“Cloud?” He called. 

Cloud saw his nose scrunch up. 

“I just got over calling him that.” He heard the kid mutter in disdain. 

By now Tifa was ready to leave.

“You okay…?” He asked Denzel.

“You kinda spaced out for a moment, calling you normally gets you back.” Denzel happily informed. 

Oh.

Oh.

He wanders still?

That…sounded bad to have a kid around. 

Denzel blinked. “Oh. Yeah. Not like that. Mom explained it was kinda like you get stuck in your head, and you dunno how to get outta it. Or how to talk properly. Your face kinda does—” Denzel suddenly beamed at him as he started to frown. “Yeah! That!” He said, pointing.

Cloud blinked. He didn’t know if he should be affronted or appalled this kid knew his facial expressions. 

Denzel giggled. 

“Marlene and I? We learnt your face,” Denzel blinked. “That…sounds wrong?” He muttered. “I don’t mean it’s bad!” He tried to save.

“We’ve just spent a lot of time together?” Cloud tried to understand. 

Denzel nodded. “Well, yeah, we live together. Have for like a year and a half now.” He scrunched his face up. “You weren’t there for a bit, because of the Geostigma, but Marlene and Mom told me about you, anyway.” Denzel insisted.

Tifa, by now, was opening the door. 

“Cloud,” She called.

He looked up, from trying to understand everything that came out of this future his kid’s mouth.

Some of it, he understood. 

He nodded and tugged experimentally at Denzel’s hand.

The kid nodded, and when he moved, so did he.

Huh. Universal.

… Either that, or this kid knew how to communicate with him without words.

… Yeah. Probably both, actually.

Tifa came to hold Cloud’s spare hand. 

“Where do you think they would head off to?” Tifa was asking, seeing his complete confusion on the matter.

Denzel threw up a hand and pointed. 

“Well, they’re not here!” He exploded indignantly.

Tifa really couldn’t help but giggle at that. 

“Denzel?” Cloud was asking as the connecting bridge moved them. They figured they could go back to the centre map and try from there to find them.

Denzel looked up, and eager.

It had taken Cloud all the way from leaving the room, to the bridge for him to figure out what he wanted to say, now he just needed to say it.

“You said,” He mentally growled at his throat closing up on him. “You said that your dad wasn’t around?” He finally got to ask.

Denzel looked a little pensively sad at that, but nodded. 

“Yeah. He was sick. Like I was.” He answered. 

Cloud blinked. 

“Sick?” He prompted. 

Denzel nodded. “Mine was here.” He moved his fringe out of his forehead. There was nothing there now. “Dad had his on his left arm, all the way down.” He added, showing with a finger from his own shoulder down to his elbow. “At least that’s what Marlene said he told her. He had it covered whenever we saw him.” He explained. 

Cloud found it interesting that his older version had no scaring or sickness remains on his left arm, the same as Denzel. Nothing to say that they had been sick. The only thing on that arm was the pink ribbon tied in a bow.

“Marlene also said that he thought mine hurt more than his did.” Denzel said as Cloud had to quickly haul the kid up as momentum stalled when the bridge stopped. 

The kid didn’t seem to notice and swung with Cloud’s arm easily, mistakenly figuring the action for Cloud swinging him off the ground.

“But I think that’s probably not right.” Denzel added as he tugged them along easily. 

Tifa had been silent the entire way, taking in the information as fast as the kid could give it. 

Cloud was barely keeping up with it. 

“Then again, Dad can jump entire buildings easily and throws the Fusion around like it’s paper, so. —Didja know the Fusion is REALLY heavy?! I can’t even lift one of the smaller blades! And Fenrir as well!” Denzel stated, looking up at them, awed and eager.

The Fusion?

The sword had a name?

—Of course, it did. Silly him. It was him he was talking about. He probably named everything. 

The amount of hero worship this kid had for a future version of him was astounding. 

“You like him a lot.” Tifa finally said. 

Denzel turned to her and grinned. 

“Duh! I didn’t even know who he was when he saved me at the church! But he did! And he didn’t think I was disgusting! He could’a thrown me away, or not taken me in! But he did! He didn’t need to!” Denzel insisted in explaining. As if Tifa needed to know.

Tifa already knew, based on the grin she had.

Cloud took a second as Denzel took them down the staircase towards the map.

Church. Aerith’s? Probably. Denzel said previously he grew up in Midgar. It was the only church he knew that stood. 

Everything else, though…?

“Why would you think that?” Cloud asked, curiously. 

“Oh. Yeah. Those who didn’t have the stigma, didn’t want to touch those who did, thinking that’s how it transferred. It’s not. But he could see I had it, but he picked me up all the same, wiped it off me and took me in.” Denzel explained. 

“I don’t think he would have thought you gross.” Cloud muttered. 

Denzel grinned. “He didn’t! He’s cool like that.” He informed proudly.

… He’s cool like that.

Cloud didn’t need to think to know that no one had ever called him that in his lifetime. 

“And then you figured out he was Cloud?” Tifa elaborated, with a grin.

Denzel nodded. “Oh yeah. That was a bit…” The kid looked embarrassed.

If this kid was like him at all (which he damn well was), he probably didn’t know how to be in his father’s presence, let alone speak to him without bolting.

“A bit much? Cloud’s a bit much.” Tifa insisted. 

While Denzel laughed, he didn’t notice Cloud glaring at Tifa for the comment. 

“He might be for a lot of people? But he’s never been that for me. He’s just Dad.” Denzel tried to explain.

Cloud figured he understood what the kid meant.

He was only mellow with so many people.

He apparently could add this child to the list. Not that he wasn’t already on it. 

This kid adored him like he hung the sun and the moon.

And all he did was take the kid in, literally, then called him his own.

“So, what, he took you in, adopted you, and that’s it?” Cloud questioned. 

He wanted the full story. He doubted he would get the full length version from his older version. 

“At first, I thought he adopted me because he pitied me? And he got money for it. And they needed that for the bar. So—” Denzel explained. 

The kid paused, seeing the absolute appal on his face.

Chapter Text

I find the map and draw a straight line. Over rivers, farms, and state lines. The distance from ‘here’ to where you’d be. It’s only finger-lengths that I see, I touch the place where I’d find your face, my fingers in creases of distant dark places. There is no peace that I’ve found so far. The laughter penetrates my silence. Their words, mostly noises. Ghosts with just voices. Your words, in my memory, are like music to me. After I have travelled so far, and dreaming, pick up from the last place we left off. I’m miles from where you are. I lay down on the cold ground. And I pray that something picks me up, and sets me down in your warm arms.

— Snow Patrol (Set Fire to the Third Bar)

21. Set Fire to the Third Bar

“So, what, he took you in, adopted you, and that’s it?” Cloud questioned. 

He wanted the full story. He doubted he would get it uncut from his older version. 

“At first, I thought he adopted me because he pitied me? And he got money for it. And they needed that for the bar. So—” Denzel explained. 

The kid paused, seeing the absolute appal on his face.

“It wasn’t! It’s okay!” Denzel rushed to defend. “I thought that! Not him!” He added in a blur of words and a lot of tugging on Cloud’s hand in panic. 

“I thought it was because of me that he never came home, or that because they adopted me, he never came home! I know now that Dad isn’t like that. He doesn’t do things without thinking five steps ahead. Sometimes it’s annoying. But he’s my Dad!” He insisted.

“Have you…” Cloud tried to say, his face was pinched as he stopped on the mezzanine between the staircases down to the ground level.

He couldn’t speak.

And he needed to!

This kid!

“Have you spoken to your dad about this? Does he know?” Tifa asked, instead, gently, knowing exactly what was going on in his head somehow. 

Denzel immediately shook his head. 

“He doesn’t need to know! It’s stupid!” Denzel cried in outrage, vehemently shaking his head. 

Cloud grunted, and tugged the kid’s hand. 

“Not.” He grumbled. “Speak to him.” He added tightly.

Because if it was affecting him this badly? 

The dad version of him? Would freak that his kid would think this.

Denzel looked up at him, paling. 

“He needs to know?” He asked, panicking. 

Cloud nodded. “Tell him.” He insisted. 

Tifa, by now, was the only one thinking straight, and she was the one beelining for the map, hauling him and he, now as a distraught Denzel as he was himself.

Whatever this Geostigma thing was? Yeah, Tifa agreed it could go shove it.

How it made Cloud leave? This adorable child weep? 

Yeah. She would kick its ass.

“There!” Denzel suddenly did a one-eighty, and was pointing up to the huge map they found themselves standing in front of. “They’re you, so where’d you guys go?” He asked, easily.

Cloud stared at the amount of attractions the Saucer had. 

While the two he was trying to find were himself and another version of Tifa? Looking at this place, they could have been anywhere and it would make sense.

“Where would an Ancient relic be hiding, though?” Tifa asked.

Maybe if they knew that, then they could narrow it down.

Cloud noted the distracted shrug the kid did.

He could tell, based on the rapid mako swirls alone, the kid was five steps deep into his own mind. 

Mako.

He could see mako.

Crap.

“Kid.” He started, in panic. “Where are your glasses?” He asked.

Denzel blinked. Then paled in panic and one hand shot into his pocket, leaving Cloud’s hand to throw the goggles onto his face with a whine of panic.

Tifa was looking around to see if they had caught anyone.

By the look of the crowd distracted by the sudden proposal? They were fine.

Dodged.

Cloud saw the same thing, and relaxed. 

“All good, kid.” He muttered. 

“Maybe…just pick one, and we’ll ask around?” Tifa questioned. 

Cloud shrugged, better than doing nothing.

Then there was yelling and screaming.

“… Or not.” Cloud said with a blink.

From the screaming, Cloud could gather the commotion was coming from one of the attractions. 

From the amount of people panicking away from the Battle Square?

It was coming from there.

Then it was that cat thing from before?

“Get to the Colosseum!” It was yelling as it ran past.

Cloud blinked.

… To the Colosseum, then.

/

/

By the time they got there, everyone else was already there. 

Cloud had one hand on the Buster sword, and his other in Denzel’s, ready to pull the kid behind him protectively, if he needed to.

He heard what people were saying as he passed by, 

“Dad!” Denzel was shouting in joy, pointing.

They all looked to see Adult Cloud had his sword out and there seemed to be metallic dusty ash all around him. The echoes of lightning and fire fading away from him.

Both he and Mom Tifa looked up in surprise to hear Denzel. 

Seeing them, Cloud let the kid go, with a soft little encouraging push to his shoulder.

Denzel was off like a shot towards them.

Adult Cloud had his sword back in his holster by the time Denzel made it to him.

The grin he had on his face seemed to be a mixture of relief and happiness, so much he ruffled the kid’s hair as soon as he was within range. 

“You alright?” They heard him ask him as they came in closer.

Denzel nodded. “Yep!” He said happily, siding up in between them happily.

Everyone else, on the other hand, was too concerned about the scene off to the side.

And the missing Barret.

The cat was urging them in past the bollards and any security.

Mom Tifa was immediately moving Denzel’s face away from the dead bodies littered the floor around them.

“It’s like I told ye; someone went on a rampage!” Cait was urging, worriedly.

“I’ll take it from here!” Dio was announcing, glaring at Adult Cloud. “Was this some type of set up? To distract me?” He questioned dangerously. 

Cloud barely listened to the man rant as he took in the scene he found himself in. 

Dead ShinRa soldiers.

Everywhere he could look? Dead bodies.

“Pops! Park us over by the rocks!” 

It was the same.

“Cloud! Ride’s over!” 

It was always the same!

“—Stay here! I’ll draw them off!”

Cloud blinked as he saw his older version step forward. 

“Sure.” He agreed.

What was he agreeing to?

“I’ll find him. I’ll need the prize money for the winning chocobo though.” He stated.

Everyone, Dio and the cat included, was staring at him incredulously. 

“And I can do it by tomorrow afternoon.” He ordered.

“Done!” Dio laughed.

How did…?

How did he find himself in these situations?

Why was he suddenly in Coral Prison?

“How did we get here?” Cloud muttered out in vexation.

“How we got into the elevator, or into this mess?” Tifa asked immediately, trying to assess if he had wandered in the five minutes she had been listening to Dio ranting, or if he was just as confused as she was.

“Into this mess.” Cloud elaborated.

Tifa laughed. “Oh, yeah, I have no idea!” She cajoled.

He stared at her, unimpressed.

She was of no help.

“Tifa.” Adult Cloud called as soon as they were out in the open.

Mom Tifa looked at him, she saw the little nudge he gave to Denzel.

Both of them nodded, and Denzel went to hold his mother’s hand easily.

They watched with rising alarm and slight horror that he unlatched his sword, and powered up a long ranged attack.

His sword made a loud metallic humming noise as it charged up. Once it reached a high pitch, he threw the sword down, a large bolt of curved plasma launched down the lane and split off in several directions, massing up blue fire onto several houses.

Countless people screeched in panic and bolted out of the darkness.

“Okay! Okay! You’re good!” Yelled many at the same time.

By the time he got their attention, his sword was lighting up in various colours, and the flames he just caused were dying down in a mixture of wind and ice magic.

He glared at the nearest shadow as soon as it appeared. 

“Take me to Gus. Now.” He ordered. 

The man, and several others, immediately saluted and pointed in the direction he needed to go in. They hurried it up when his sword, which was still out, started to gleam in materia threateningly.

Gus seemed to run the place. 

And wasn’t best pleased to be woken up, or to being threatened. 

“You come into my—?!” He yelped when Adult Cloud threw the bag load of Gil at the man’s feet. 

“Vulture guide. To the scrapyard. Now.” He demanded.

Once Gus realised the bag was full of money, he was all in agreement, and showed the way to the wastelands eagerly.

“He’s all yours!” Gus yelled joyfully as they left.

By now? 

Cloud wasn’t surprised that there actually was a vulture that was willing to guide them to where they needed to go.

All he was, was exhausted.

Even though he just had a nap? Could totally take another one. A longer one. 

A longer nap that lasted the entire night longer one, in fact.

They ended up nearing a fenced yard when Yuffie literally fell into Barret.

“The hell are you doing here!?” Barret was yelling. 

“Why am I trippin’ into your face, old man!?” Yuffie screeched.

Barret pushed her head out of the way. Yuffie hurled her arms at him in annoyance.

“Barret!” Aerith was saying, in relief, as she rushed up. “It’s good to see you!” She said with a wistful sigh.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Barret demanded. 

“Barret.” Adult Cloud called. 

Everyone looked at him, and saw he was pointing at a break in the fence. 

“Dyne’s that way.” He announced. 

Those who knew the name, flinched. 

“It’s actually him!?” Barret demanded, stalking over to the older blonde quickly, in disbelief.

Adult Cloud hummed in assent.

“He’s not … all there.” He warned.

Barret flinched. 

“And we,” He continued, pointing to himself and Cloud several times. “Will make it worse if he sees us, so we’ll go ahead and clear out the fiends in Coral’s direction, got it?” He asked. 

Barret was immediately nodding. “I getchu.” He answered, then turned to go through the fence.

Adult Cloud jerked his head. 

“Aerith, stay with him, you might be able to help him.” He offered. 

Aerith nodded, and turned to wait near the fence.

With that Adult Cloud, pulled out his PHS to make sure he was, indeed, facing the right direction, which unsurprisingly, to everyone else, he was. Once he was sure, he started walking, with one hand on his Fusion sword, which was already glowing preemptively. 

No one needed to be told where they were going.

Mom Tifa and Denzel fell in line with Adult Cloud. 

Cloud, hearing that he would set this man off more, knew not to stick around and followed easily. 

Seeing him move, so did Tifa.

It left behind Yuffie, Cait and Red, waiting with Aerith for Barret to come back.

The man Barret pulled out of the building, wasn’t all there.

But he had warned them.

It was like the man was stuck in the past, on a loop.

“We’ll go see Eleanor.” Barret reassured multiple times when the man got jumpy. 

When the man repeated what he said. 

Like he didn’t remember he had said it. 

They could see the weight it put on Barret to keep repeating himself. 

It didn’t take them long to reach the boundary of Coral. Occasionally, they’d see the end of a fight, and knew they were going the right way.

Somehow, they had made a round trip, and ended back up at Sheiran’s clinic, with neither hair nor hide from either blonde swordsmen.

Sheiran looked up in a panic from moving several Remnants behind a curtain and ushered them through to the back.

There, Barret found a bed he could put Dyne onto. 

“Eleanor.” The man muttered. “I’m coming…” He muttered deliriously.

“Your blonde friend said you were coming. But not exactly what was wrong. But I can see now.” Sheiran explained. 

Which meant Cloud was around somewhere, but making himself scarce due to Dyne.

With how much space there wasn’t in the private room of the clinic, they all, but Barret found themselves moving out of the building.

It took, maybe, an hour before Barret came out of the building.

They were waiting patiently.

By then they had amassed another two blondes, and the rest of the team.

“He’s not sure what he can do for him, long term.” Barret offered, somberly. 

Adult Cloud sided his head. 

“Too much?” He asked, curious.

Barret nodded. “He seems to think so. And with these robed men, it’s bound to set him off.” He reminded. 

“Call him out.” He asked. 

Barret nodded, understanding his reasons, and went to get Sheiran.

They didn’t need to wait two minutes, before the man was returning with the doctor.

“You needed to speak to me?” Sheiran asked, curiously.

“He needs more help?” Adult Cloud was asking.

Sheiran sighed. “More help than what I can give, currently, son. I don’t know of any other place that isn’t run, or over run by ShinRa.” Sheiran told.

He blinked then turned to Barret.

“Here,” He started, then from his sword drew a pale coloured materia. “Use this to put him to sleep.” He suggested.

“Cloud?” Mom Tifa was questioning, sounding a little worried. 

Barret took the piece of materia. “You know a place?” He asked, eagerly. 

He nodded. “It’ll take a bit to get there, and a chocobo ride, but it’ll be better if he were asleep, so he doesn’t freak out seeing me.” He answered. 

Barret didn’t need to guess what he meant by the suggestion. 

Dyne would see the mako, and go off. 

So he nodded, and bolted.

“Cloud,” Mom Tifa said again, urgency in her tone. 

He turned to her. 

“What are you planning?” She asked. 

He shrugged one shoulder. “We’re gonna go call Cid, and take him to Mideel.” He said.

Chapter Text

Block out the night, all the boring noise that calls me to the world outside. Better not to try, just let me stay alone and well-hidden. Cut my ties and set me free, I need— Let me clear my mind, until I’m all alone. My hands are full and halt your freedom. Wheeze through the night as my lungs burn inside, as I fake through the day that never subsides if I can’t call to mind all the words or the lines. Oh, no, not again! The town will never end. The wind will cut to bits the world below. Please leave me be, don’t go! The words I couldn’t call to mind, it’s fine if you just let them be, if that meant that you would stay with me.

— Will Stetson (Lag Train)

22. Lag Train

Calling this Cid person, apparently meant calling, then waiting, for the chocobos first. 

And stopping every so often to ensure Dyne stayed asleep as they moved south out of Corel, then around a mountain range, that led into an old republic airstrip.

Calling Cid apparently meant calling an airship with smoke.

Cloud wasn’t going to question how smoke actually summoned a plane.

But it did.

By now, Cloud knew not to question things he would know in two years time.

Adult Cloud was blinking as the plane came into land, and he looked at them.

“You have two grand on you, right?” He asked suddenly.

Denzel snorted.

They did. But barely.

Cloud also wasn’t expecting the pilot to stop himself from trying to swear every five seconds, once he saw a child nearby, while trying not to stare at Aerith, looking at her with confusion.

“Can I…help you?” The pilot in question asked. 

“Do you know where Mideel is?” Adult Cloud questioned. 

The man — Cid — blinked in confusion.

He saw the confusion. “Below the Eastern Continent.” He elaborated, bringing out his PHS, and showing Cid the location.

“It’s not controlled by ShinRa. There’s a clinic there that’ll tend to him.” He gestured to Dyne. 

Cid blinked. “Ya know this’ll cost ya, right?” He asked, incredulous. 

Barret was already shooting Cloud pleading looks by now, and he sighed. 

“Two grand cover it?” He grumbled. 

Cid stared in shook.

“That’s enough for a return trip!” He said, aghast.

Adult Cloud shrugged. “Barret can go with. And you can return Barret.” He negotiated. 

Cid nodded, mutely, in agreement. “I’ll need some help getting him on board…” He asked. 

Barret nodded eagerly and went to get his friend situated inside the Bronco.

“I hate to be a bearer of bad news, but…” Cait was muttering, pulling on Adult Cloud’s pant leg nervously.

Adult Cloud looked down to him. 

“They’ve gone after the WEAPON spotted south of us?” He asked. 

Cait blinked in surprise but nodded, warily.

“Cloud?” Tifa was asking. 

Cloud looked up, and realised with her next to him, and her not looking at him directly, she wasn’t asking for him personally.

Adult Cloud looked to her. “Yeah?” He questioned, seeing the same as he did. 

“How do you know this place?” She asked, trying to ignore the fact Mom Tifa was throwing an actual piece of dull materia back and forth to Denzel to keep him occupied. She further warily noted that as soon as the question came, she threw it further than Denzel could catch, causing the kid to bolt after it. Yuffie looked about ready to pile drive the kid into the dirt over the lack of judgement. 

The man blinked in realisation of something, then turned to Cid and Barret.

“Barret!” He called. 

Both men turned to him, stalling in getting into the craft. 

“Tell the staff if they get hit with sudden quakes to move out of the village, unless they want to fall into Life stream.” He suggested. 

Barret paled and nodded, giving a thumbs up. 

Cid popped his head out. 

“Are we meeting back here, or what!?” He was yelling before anyone else could screech in panic for the little bit of information about the Life stream. 

“Gongaga!” Adult Cloud yelled back just as the door closed.

Everyone else immediately turned to him. 

“WHERE?!” They yelled in a panic.

But the man was whistling for chocobos, blasé about the entire thing. 

“I’d rather not have to explain to Cissnei why the village blows up in ShinRa scrutiny in the coming hours due to the reactor pulling up a WEAPON.” He stated. “I have enough to explain to her already.” He muttered.

Who the hell was Cissnei?

/

/

Every stride towards the jungle, Cloud could feel it.

This was where he wanted him to go.

The same place where a future version of him throws Tifa into mako.

Just how could he avoid doing that if he was going to be in the same place?!

Not go into the reactor?

Might work?

Maybe?

He doubted the group would mind if he sat this one out in favour of Tifa not being hurled into the toxic waters of a ruined mako reactor.

He knew something was wrong the moment they bustled up towards the jungle outskirts.

“Tifa.” He called. 

She turned to him, and saw him tearing one of his gloves off between his teeth.

She knew exactly what was happening, and rushed to get off her chocobo, and rustle around in her pockets for a potion she was holding on to.

Tifa saw everyone else noted the exchange warily.

She was curious to see that the older version of Cloud was noting the exchange in surprise.

Like he was surprised Cloud figured out he was at his limit so soon.

That could only mean good things…right? That he was noticing it earlier?

Possibly…?

She was pretty sure this onset came before any outwards signs, so he must have been getting better at recognising the growling and claws for what they were.

Surely that was a good sign.

“What is with all these trees?!” Yuffie was yelling, infuriated. 

“They live here.” Adult Cloud retorted.

Denzel snorted in humour.

Yuffie glared at the older blonde in annoyance.

If Cloud couldn’t see that the older blonde had his PHS out, and he could see the location marker of both his location and the village they were heading towards?

He would say they were lost.

Everything looked the same, each tree, fiend, river bend as the previous one he saw.

Same colours.

With all the practice that he had, in discerning whether his vision was green tinged or not? Having his surroundings the very same colour, didn’t… help.

Every two steps, he was questioning if what he could see was real. Every five minutes, he was looking to Tifa for reassurance. 

He couldn’t trust himself as far as he could throw himself.

He needed her help, and he was worried he was starting to clamp down too much on her hand.

But she hadn’t said anything yet.

When they came up to a bridge that crossed the river, they were using as a guide, they noted easily he put away his PHS.

“Up there.” He noted.

With it, they could assume the village they were looking for would be over the bridge and up the slight incline of the hillside.

With how many people crossing the bridge, its sudden shifting caused Denzel to squawk in panic as he nearly keened backwards. He quickly latched onto one of the bridges posts. 

“Denzel?” His father was asking in concern. 

The kid whined in terror and wouldn’t let go as the bridge shifted uneasily under his feet.

It didn’t help matters that Yuffie, feeling the bridge shake, burst into running to get off the bridge.

“Nope!” The ninja was yelling, then covering her mouth as she bolted.

Cloud looked to the kid paralysed in fear, and to the older blonde, who looked as concerned as he did, perplexed that his kid wasn’t moving. 

“Why don’t you keep going, get everyone off the bridge?” He was questioning.

Cloud was nodding and tried to even out his weight for the bridge to rock less as he crossed. 

They would catch up. They would probably need to take care of the blood he could smell from the kid’s scrapped hands as well.

From the bridge, it didn’t take them long to find the actual village.

Tifa pointed to the large pinkish mushrooms, while tugging Cloud’s hand with her other.

“Gongaga mushrooms!” She said in delight, looking from them to him several times. 

“I can’t help but see them, Tifa.” He muttered.

They were everywhere.

Then they were suddenly surrounded by various people with staffs, all pointed in their direction, threateningly. 

“Passing through?” A woman asked, warningly.

Cloud couldn’t help but stare at her. Her voice? He knew her voice from somewhere.

She stared right on back. “You!” She said in surprise.

Huh. It went both ways?

The claws gripped at his mind, and he couldn’t help but wince. “Yes?” He answered, trying to not sound as confused as he felt, or go for the Buster sword.

It put a frown on her face. Her eyes wandered from his face, to the Buster sword, and heavied in confusion.

“Nothing! For a second, I thought you were someone else.” She rebutted.

Those guards behind them swiftly turned around, hearing more footsteps. 

“Oh no, he’s exactly who you think he is.” Adult Cloud announced easily. “Staff away from my face before I easily throw it and you into the river.” He warned the nearest guard, who had moved to point it at his face. 

They saw the mako in his eyes and retreated as fast as she could, mutely tell them to stand down.

They watched her in quick succession look from the two blondes, the Buster sword, Cait shushing her, and she blinked and cast off her confusion with a flick of her head to dismiss the other guards.

“I’m Cissnei. Just who …are you?” She asked.

Ah, the famous Cissnei person. 

Even though she was asking questions, she was staring at Cloud, as if she was trying to figure out what she could say. 

“At least one of you is alive?” She muttered to herself. “But why are you back…here?” She asked. 

Cloud blinked. 

He knew those two questions were directed at him. 

But for an answer? 

“I’ve been here before?” Cloud couldn’t help but question.

He wasn’t sure.

Cissnei frowned, but nodded. 

“I guess you were mostly unconscious at the time.” Cissnei offered. 

“I know your voice, though.” Cloud said. “Wasn’t sure if I was…?” He muttered.

Tifa tugged his hand. 

Yeah. That.

“No. I remember you two rolling up here like it wasn’t stupid.” Cissnei grouched.

She looked to the older blonde when he snorted. 

“Yep. Zack was pretty stupid.” He said. 

Her eyes blew wide. Aerith blew a raspberry at him, and he laughed. 

“No, he was stupid!” He cajoled. “Going back to his hometown with the entirety of ShinRa on him? Stupid.” He insisted. 

They all blinked. 

Yeah, okay, that sounded pretty careless. 

Cissnei looked a little sad once she understood the past tense surrounding Zack.

“At least one of you agrees. And how are there two of you, by the way?” She asked, moving on. 

“I blame Zack.” The older blonde muttered in annoyance.

Cissnei hummed in confusion.

“Maybe just go with time magic.” Mom Tifa offered. 

Cissnei took a few looks between the two blondes, as if trying to understand how she was seeing double, without confusing herself more, but ended up shrugging.

“Okay, sure, but why are you here?” She asked again. “And is the ShinRa military going to be rolling up?” She added. 

“ShinRa? Yes. Because of me? No. Your Reactor.” He summed up.

Cissnei’s expression turned steely.

“Don’t actually hit me with your throwing star, please. It’s a warning. They’re here for the Reactor.” He added, placating. 

“What do they want with the Reactor?” Cissnei was demanding. “It’s desolate!” She insisted. 

“I’m sure you remember who Scarlet is.” He reminded her. 

The woman immediately started to pace and grumble angrily. 

“I’ll punch her face in.” They were all sure she muttered. 

And if they ever had the chance? Yeah. Yeah, they would share those sentiments. 

Cissnei was leading them to a nearby house, and gestured they enter when she opened the door for them.

“It’s not much.” She apologised as they piled in. 

Denzel was the first to bolt from every room to look at every cranny the house offered in loud curiosity. 

“I apologise.” Adult Cloud muttered in a sigh. 

Cissnei giggled as she watched the child race across the room. Not phased that the kid was suddenly under her table, exploring. 

“Dad!” The kid was yelling as he bolted out from the table after the five minutes everyone had taken a moment to find something to sit on, or lean against. 

The kid tripped on a chair leg and landed into Cissnei. 

“Sorry!” The kid immediately apologised, grabbing the goggles that slipped off his face, looking up at her with a grimace. 

Then he whirled around her and raced to his father. 

“This place smells like burnt soil and smoke!” Denzel said loudly. 

“That’s probably because Cissnei can’t cook to save her life, and because there’s mako in the air.” He answered simply, taking the goggles from his kid to make sure they weren’t broken in his fall.

Hearing that this kid could smell mako, and that it was in the air, got several people to flinch in alarm.

“Are we okay?” Tifa was asking, gripping Cloud’s hand harder in panic. 

He blinked and looked up from fiddling with the goggles. “In the village? Yes? Why do you ask?” He asked, sounding confused. 

“Mako in the air?” Cloud asked for clarification. 

If he smelled hard enough, he could smell what Denzel described as burnt soil under all the smoke and ash that layered this hut of a house.

Was it alarming the kid could smell it? Or knew what mako smelt like? 

Then again, he’s lived in Midgar, then said twice ruins of Midgar, so it wasn’t that farfetched he would.

“Not in concentrations that can harm, not in the village. It’s because the wind is blowing in this direction.” He explained. 

They were fine. 

Great to know.

Cissnei stepped forward, a little concerned. 

“Why…does this kid have mako enhancements?” She demanded. 

Denzel raised his hand. “My name’s Denzel!” He cried in defence.

She blinked. “Sorry. Denzel.” She mimicked. 

“That is an explanation that will need you to actually believe we’re from at least two years from now.” Adult Cloud warned.

“You’re not exactly an apparition in my face, Cloud.” She warned. 

Cloud blinked. Huh. She knew his name too?

Adult Cloud shrugged.

“No, but you know enough, and understand enough, to know that you can see things that aren’t there.” He reminded her unnecessarily. 

Cissnei pulled a face, and looked upset at the fact she actually understood his meaning.

Then there was a shattering roar that pierced through her windows. 

“And… I don’t think we have time for that right now.” Adult Cloud added.

Everyone looked at him, incredulously.

Chapter Text

It’s a war outside, fighting demons. They be scheming, plotting for no reason. Hold on tight and I won’t let you go. You know who to call when there’s trouble. And you know I’ll be there for you every time. They should know I be savin’ the day. Jumpin’ in a new dimension today. I’ve been fighting all my life. But I can’t do it all alone. We’re about to take it to another level. And no matter where we are tonight. You know I’ll be by your side. Turn the darkness into light, and we’ll make it out alive. When the flames are gettin’ high, we’ll be walkin’ through the fire as long as we keep burnin’ bright: And we’ll make it out alive.

— Malachiii (Make it Out Alive)

23. Make it Out Alive

Then there was a shattering roar that pierced through her windows. 

“And… I don’t think we have time for that right now.” Adult Cloud added.

Everyone looked at him, incredulously. 

He jerked his head to the door. 

“The reason we’re here.” He explained. 

Cissnei nodded, and didn’t need an explanation for her to cross the room and exit it.

They all followed.

They followed her as she raced up to a monument. The view there offered a direct line of sight to the reactor.

By the time they got up there, there was another ear-splitting roar that Denzel covered his ears at. 

“Loud!” He screeched in painful panic.

“What is this?” Cissnei demanded. 

“There’s a WEAPON inside your Reactor.” Cloud offered as an explanation. 

Cissnei blinked, suddenly understand why the older blonde brought up Scarlet.

And why ShinRa would be coming. 

“And!?” Cissnei was asking.

“Probably best not to let either ShinRa or Scarlet get it.” Adult Cloud offered easily. 

She glared at him, incredulously.

“How exactly? We tried to investigate, but there’s these weird black wisp things that prevented us from getting in.” Cissnei explained. 

Red stepped forward. “You can see them?” He asked, startled. 

Cissnei stared down at him, she blinked a few times, then cast off her incredulousness. 

“There was more than enough to see.” Cissnei answered.

“So what! We need to make sure that grubby old ass women doesn’t get it! What’re we gonna do!?” Yuffie was demanding. 

“You,” Adult Cloud was pointing at Cloud. He blinked. “You,” He pointed to Tifa. “You,” He pointed to his version of Tifa, who had Denzel by her side, then pointed to himself. “Aren’t going anywhere near the damn place.” He ordered. 

Which. Fair.

Yuffie was raising her arms up and down in an arch by her sides, several times. 

“So, we can go!?” She asked, nearly to the point she was going to start jumping up and down eagerly.

He looked at her. “Make sure you have ice and lightning.” He demanded. 

Yuiffie blinked, and suddenly she had two pieces of materia to show him. 

“Tada!” She said, excitedly. 

He hummed, then held out his hand. 

Yuffie blinked but laid one green orb in his hand. 

He clicked his tongue, then mutely requested the other. Yuffie pouted, but handed over the other.

“These aren’t strong enough.” He remarked. “They’ll just bounce off Scarlet like it’s nothing.” He warned. 

Yuffie paled in panic.

He tossed both to his version of Tifa, before drawing out two, one by one, from his sword. Then tossing them to Yuffie. 

Yuffie scrambled to catch them eagerly.

“They need to be returned in the same condition in which I give them to you, understand?” He ordered. 

Yuffie saluted. 

Then he drew a red one from his wrist bracer, only to gently hand it over to Aerith. 

“Aw! Why does Aerith get the summoning one!?” Yuffie screeched. 

He glared. “Because I trust her to return it more than you.” He answered easily. 

“HEY!” Yuffie yelled.

He dismissed her completely. She yelled at him.

He instead looked to Cissnei. “They’re going to need to borrow your chocobos.” He added.

She nodded, and gestured back down the hill. “This way!” She asked.

Cait, Red, Yuffie and Aerith sped away with her.

“They’ll be alright, right…?” Denzel asked.

His father turned back to see the reactor. “Hopefully.” He muttered in worry. He eyed the younger blonde. “Take a step you don’t want to, and you tell us.” He warned.

Yeah. That didn’t help.

But Cloud nodded in any case.

They saw their friends on green chocobos get thrown over the jungle several times by the buoyancy of the larger mushrooms in the direction of the reactor. Then nothing else. 

It didn’t stop them from staring at the ruins. And it didn’t stop the older blonde from looking over to his younger version every five minutes in concern, either. 

“Would it be better to redo the potion?” Cloud ended up asking an hour of taking the repeated looks. 

“Do you feel you need it?” He asked. 

Cloud shook his head. “All quiet, and I don’t feel like moving, actually.” He noted. 

Tifa could say she returned the idea.

He wasn’t gripping her hand like he had been on the way into the village. On the point of pain. Now she was the one who gripped him more firmly, because he had no weight to it. 

It was his own way of showing how lost he was. But she noted he hadn’t let go, or moved away from her completely. 

He was still worried on that front.

Not that she blamed him. 

“What if they need your help?” Cissnei was suddenly asking. 

Tifa felt herself jump in surprise, and the resulting grip tightened when she did, as they looked around to see the ex-but-not Turk standing there. 

“At this point, they’re better off without any of us getting thrown into the mako fumes.” Adult Cloud announced. 

She turned to him, and blinked. 

“You’ve done this before?” She asked, incredulous. 

He shrugged one shoulder. “If you want to believe me.” He answered. 

“There are things you know that you shouldn’t.” Cissnei warned. 

“Yeah. That seems to be a thing that happens.” Cloud grumbled. 

She eyed him worriedly, before looking back to the older blonde.

“Zack?” She questioned softly. 

He shook his head. 

“He fell about three weeks ago. Just outside of Midgar.” He informed quietly.

Cissnei blinked rapidly, and turned her head away immediately. 

“He was my…” They heard her muttered. 

“Same.” Cloud muttered back.

“You best…tell his parents.” Cissnei added. 

They watched as he nodded. 

“On my to-do list.” He answered. He went back to surveying the reactor. “You best get your people inside and on alert.” He offered. 

Cissnei frowned. “Why?” She asked, steely. 

“Precaution, because I sure as hell remember them using Relnikas. It’s not unusual for them to burn villages in retribution for their own failures.” He noted. 

Cissnei’s eyes widened, then she rounded down the hill. “Get inside! Quickly!” She was shouting. 

Cissnei returned not too long afterwards, with several pairs of binoculars. 

And it wasn’t long after that, the Relnikas grew in space in the surrounding reactor ruins. 

From their advantage point, they could see Scarlet with her Mech drop in, and not too long afterwards, the summoned lightning storm of Ramuh darkening the surrounding sky.

They continued to watch and wait nervously.

But nowhere in between did Cloud feel the need to move like he did at Junon.

The urge was definitely there. Rising. Especially with the claws scratching at the edges of his mind. But it was manageable. Ignorable.

Not at all like Junon. 

Being this close to Tifa? Apparently the best spot he could be in. 

He’d thank her later, hopefully in words that wouldn’t piss her off, or sound creepy as hell. 

Because it sounded creepy. Probably, to anyone that wasn’t Tifa. 

He noted during the time they waited that the older version of Tifa had taken to distracting Denzel with a step-by-step guide to building a flower crown. 

The kid seemed totally absorbed by the project.

“I can use any flowers?” Denzel was asking quietly. 

His mother was humming back, giving him the options of a few others. 

“So we can use the flowers that grow at home now? The smaller yellow ones? And I can make one for Marlene?” He was adding in an awed whisper.

Ah. 

Somewhere along the way, Cloud had completely forgotten that with the addition of Denzel, Marlene would have gained a pseudo older brother. 

One who seemed very protective and honest, it seemed. 

Honestly. This child could not get more like him, if he tried.

Denzel seemed to know that his little sister would adore flower crowns, so went about making sure he knew how to make it with precision. 

Simple. 

“Hey,” Cissnei noted, talking for the first time in an hour. “Look.” She added. 

This got them to look at where she was pointing. 

There, a very messed-up and probably broken red Mech was retreating into the transport, and they were moving off. 

They watched until they couldn’t see them any more.

Then came in the nervous wait at the village’s nearest exit, in hopes they all came back. 

Cloud wasn’t sure what he heard first, the chocobos or Yuffie’s voice, screeching about something or rather. 

He must have taken a step closer as he sided his head because Tifa latched onto his arm in quick response, with a whine of panic. 

He looked at her in confusion. “Tifa?” He questioned. “I’m okay. I can hear Yuffie.” He told her. 

Tifa immediately opened her eyes, flushed, and moved off. 

“Oh. Sorry.” She muttered. 

He made sure to take her hand again, and shook his head. “Not with this.” He told her. 

With it, Cloud could understand that Tifa couldn’t hear Yuffie just yet, and reacted to him moving without any stimuli, and acted accordingly. 

To her, it would look like he was going to start wandering. 

And to know she would act that quickly, was a relief. 

“Oh no! That’s not what I’m pissed about!” Yuffie’s voice was suddenly yelling, in range they could all hear her.

Followed immediately by the older blonde sighing in annoyance at her being so damn loud. 

“Ya could’t nae get it!” Cait was persisting. 

“I totally could’a jumped!” Yuffie insisted. 

“I wasn’t going to jump after you, if you fell into mako, Yuffie.” Red was disagreeing. 

“Betrayers! All of you! I could have made it!” Yuffie was yelling angrily. 

“I didn’t want to take the chance, sorry, Yuffie.” Aerith was apologising. 

Yuffie was groaning in dismay as they finally came into view.

Worse for wear.

But alive. 

And not dripping in mako.

“Are you okay!?” Tifa was yelling from his side. 

He couldn’t help but flinch when she was a little too close to his ear when she did.

She tugged on his hand apologetically. 

“Tifa!” Yuffie was saying, hopping off her chocobo and racing to her. “You’d agree with me! I totally could have jumped over the grate and scaled a wall to get materia!” She insisted. 

“She also could have fallen into the mako.” Red persisted. 

Yuffie yelped when the older blonde caught her in a glare. “That was the reason half of us stayed behind.” He reminded in a hiss. 

She saluted. “Very true!” She immediately resigned. “Oh!” She remarked, pulling out the materia. “Since you thought that I wouldn’t return it to you!” She crowed.

They could see the surprise it put on his face, mutely, that she did indeed return the materia he gave her, and it was the ones he gave her, and they were in the same condition.

He eyed her warily for a trick as she dropped them into his hands.

“Please tell me you have hot water and showers here.” Yuffie pleaded Cissnei. “I am yuck and gross, and I’ve been wearing these clothes for like two days!” She asked.

Welp.

There it was.

At Cissnei nodding, Yuffie was verbally celebrating, before she bolted.

“I call dibs!” She was yelling, in high likelihood she was racing off towards Cissnei’s house and shower room. 

He already had dismissed her entirely, was phasing the materia back into his Fusion sword as she bolted.

Aerith was sighing in apology as she held out the red Ramuh materia to return it. 

“Thank you for letting me borrow Ramuh for the fight. He helped a lot.” She told him.

He returned it to his wrist brace. 

“Thank you, Aerith.” He said gratefully. 

Aerith then shot up her hand. “I call seconds dibs!” She yelled happily, then was off down the lane back to Cissnei’s house. 

With it, Cissnei left to let the coalition guards know it was safe for the civilians to come out of their houses.

And with the sun setting, they figured it would be better to hole up at Cissnei’s than it was to stay outdoors.

They overcrowded Cissnei’s house, but the woman seemed eager for it. 

“Here, for those enhanced people, come help me.” Cissnei was asking, pointing to both blondes, and gesturing to the table.

Between the three of them, they got the table up and out of the house to the little courtyard off to the side. Seeing what she was doing, the rest of the gang were picking up chairs to move as well.

“Alright!” Cissnei was starting, a little proudly that she had enough chairs (she might have stolen some from the saloon, no one would know), and looked around. “Who’s good at cooking?” She asked.

Immediately, both blondes were pointing. “Tifa.” They said at the exact same time. 

They didn’t mind this was laughed at.

“And no, you’re not helping.” He told Cissnei.

“I don’t belong in the kitchen, sadly.” Cissnei said with a laugh. 

“I could use a cookbook, or a recipe?” Tifa was asking politely. 

Cissnei nodded. 

“Sure!” She said happily. 

Then led her into the kitchen. 

Cloud somehow ended up helping. He didn’t know how , but he was.

And seeing from the complete no fuss from his elder? Totally normal to be finding knives and chopping boards and slicing up mushrooms.

And with how Denzel dragged in a stool? Totally normal for him to help out too. 

If the now didn’t get in the way? It was a good future to see.

Everyone else, though, wasn’t allowed in the kitchen. And even though it was Cissnei’s house? The older blonde would glare at her in warning if she stepped one foot closer. 

“Don’t. You. Dare.” He warned the first time.

The resulting times were a glare and a warning growl aimed at her face. 

She got the hint after the third time. 

From the amount of noise he could hear from outside, Yuffie was running laps around the hut for fun. She had somehow hoaxed Red into lapping with her. Until there was a crash. 

“You broke it!” Aerith was screeching in panic. “Sorry, Cissnei!” The immediate apology was yelled. 

“Oh my god, you guys make me miss Reno and Rude.” Cissnei was chortling as she gasped for breath. “But oh, you’re gonna have to pay for that.” She snarked. 

“Yikes!” Yuffie was yelping, and Cloud could tell the ninja made a run for it.

“Run, Yuffie!” Aerith yelled with mirth.

Then silence, and they went back to making dinner. 

It wasn’t a complicated dish, especially with four adults and one child residing as cook, and in no time it was done and plated up. 

Then devoured in a manner of seconds once the plates hit the table. 

No surprises, there weren’t many leftovers to clean up.

But due to the overwhelming power of Cloud glaring, those who did not make dinner, cleaned up the dishes.

Sundown and dishes cleaned, all furniture was moved to the edges of the hut, or just thrown out to the yard to return in the morning. Futons appeared from a hole in the ground, that Cissnei was very proud of. They didn’t grudge her that she took her bed, and shut the door on them. Nor did they mind that Aerith used the spare bed tucked into the wall. 

Cait simply turned off, and Red rolled into a ball and covered his face with a paw. 

Yuffie took the futon at the far end towards the kitchen, pulled the covers over her head and disappeared from view. Cloud could hear her snoring from where he was, from the other side of Tifa.

Once his head found the pillow, he was out like a light.

Chapter Text

I knock the ice from my bones. Try not to feel the cold. Caught in the thought of that time: When everything was fine. Everything was mine. Everything was fine. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men. Couldn’t put me back together again. Run, with my hands on my eyes. Blind, but I’m still alive. Free, to go back on my own. But, is it still a home, when you’re all alone? There is a reason I’m still standing. I never knew if I’d be landing.
And I will run fast, outlast.
Everyone that said no.

— Karmina (All the King’s Horses) 

24. All the King’s Horses

Denzel’s head popped up from under his blanket, to survey the room. From the darkness, he could assume it wasn’t dawn yet, and the fact both his parents were still asleep, made him realise he probably should be asleep, and should have gone to sleep hours ago.

But he couldn’t get the ‘you need to talk to him’ advice out of his head.

He turned his head to his dad. He said he could…?

But shouldn’t he leave him alone? So he could sleep? 

Surely he could just talk to him in the morning. 

Denzel grumbled at himself. 

“Stupid.” He muttered to himself.

His dad had enough problems, he didn’t need to deal with his too.

They were old. Outdated. 

So why did they still bother him. Why did what the kids at school say bother him?

He couldn’t help but flinch when he felt his father turn in his sleep.

Denzel just needed to forget the entire thing.

Go to sleep.

He scrunched his eyes up, willing himself to just go to sleep. He couldn’t make his father carry him when he crashed tomorrow!

Not only that, but he shouldn’t even need naps in the day, like a baby, no more! He wasn’t sick, he was a big kid now.

Everything flew out of his head when he felt gloveless fingers tangle in his hair gently. 

“Denzel?” He heard his father call softly.

Denzel couldn’t help the freeze or the embarrassed yelp. 

“Are you alright?” He was being asked.

Denzel moaned.

Then his covers were being lifted, and Denzel’s immediate reaction was to look up in panic. 

His dad was looking down at him with sleepy, concerned confusion. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked quietly.

Denzel whined and hid his head. 

“Hey, nah.” His dad muttered.

Why the hell was he starting to cry.

He shook when he felt his father sit up. 

“Denzel.” He called in worry. “Are you hurt?” He asked. 

“Mm-nn!” Denzel whined, shaking his head.

The irony wasn’t lost on him that he was hiding from his father, by hiding into his father’s side. 

His hand returned to his hair. 

“But something is clearly wrong. Nightmare?” He asked gently. 

Denzel mutely shook his head.

“So, just thoughts, huh?” He asked again. 

Denzel blinked, nodded, but didn’t look up.

He heard his father hum understandingly. 

“Twenty questions?” He asked. 

Denzel frowned. “Huh?” He muttered. 

“Sometimes Tifa does it with me, when I can’t talk about something, so twenty questions to help.” He answered.

“Won’t we wake everyone?” Denzel muttered in fright. 

Denzel was surprised he hadn’t woken the younger version of his dad, or his mother yet.

But if they continued to talk. They would wake up.

The fact he was up in the first place, and caught, was embarrassing enough.

“Alright then. Let’s go.” He answered simply. 

One of Denzel’s hands flew to his mouth when his father suddenly moved, then was lifting him so he wouldn’t screech.

Like he knew his dad had a lot of strength. 

The Fusion sword was heavy. Denzel had even seen his dad move Fenrir easily without assistance of hoists when he needed to get under the bike like other mechanics did.

But it always, always surprised him when he was picked up like he was a baby unexpectedly.

Denzel could barely pick up Marlene for a few seconds!

Before he knew it, his dad had crisscrossed out of the way of everyone else sleeping, going for the door, slowly opening it to mitigate it making noise, and they were outside.

Easy-peasy.

Cloud could tell something was bugging his kid.

It had been since the Gold Saucer, but with everything that had been going on, it was unsurprising it reared its head now in a relative second of peace.

Whatever it was.

Not a nightmare. 

Just thoughts careening out of control. 

He could understand that.

He held Denzel to him as he made sure to quietly shut the door to Cissnei’s house behind him, then headed across the way towards the river.

There was little man-made light here, especially this late. But this far away from civilisation? Cloud was easily guided by his senses, he could see in the dark, and he could hear the water.

He didn’t mind if it took his kid a minute or two to get together what he wanted to say.

“Dad?” Came the muffled question. 

Or not. 

“Hmm?” He answered.

For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why Denzel was shivering. 

Should he have brought a blanket—

“Am I a burden to you?” 

Everything in him froze.

Was he a what?

“What?” Cloud couldn’t help but ask, as he stopped walking. 

This didn’t…

Compute.

He felt Denzel grip his shoulder, the little shivers turn into trembles. 

Cloud found himself blinking in stupor.

“Why would you…?” Why would you think that? Cloud asked. 

Denzel shook his head into his shoulder.

“But am I?” Came the small reply. 

Cloud couldn’t help but tighten his grip on his kid. 

“No. Never.” He spat out indignantly. 

“Not even when we first met?” Denzel asked with a sniff. 

Cloud snorted. “Hardly. I was the burden then.” He answered easily.

Where had all this come from? 

Because they never talked about it, it just settled? Festered in the soil? Good going, Cloud.

The kid exploded from his shoulder with a glare that glowed. 

“No!” He cried out, hissing. 

Cloud blinked in confusion. 

“Neither of us are, then, yeah?” Cloud parlayed. His kid was too much like him!

Denzel blinked. 

“Where’s this coming from, huh?” Cloud asked finally.

He saw his little nose scrunch up.

“Some of the other kids at school, they, uh…” Denzel muttered. 

Cloud blinked but tapped his shoulder for him to continue when he was ready.

He had a feeling he wasn’t gonna like this.

“They, uh, they started saying stuff at the start of school,” half a year ago?! “That you must have adopted me because it gives you Gil.” Denzel explained. 

Cloud would have stumbled had he decided to have kept walking after that first bombshell. 

He then found himself frowning. “Did you tell them otherwise?” He asked.

Cloud whined in panic when his kid didn’t answer, the slow silence speaking for him way louder than words. 

“Denzel.” He muttered sadly. 

Denzel flinched. 

“Why did you.” Denzel cried out, before Cloud could explain.

“Adopt you?” Cloud asked. 

Denzel nodded. “You didn’t need another kid! You didn’t need to keep me! Not one like me! Then you weren’t even there, and it was my fault!” 

Cloud watched and listened as his kid finally vented the last, maybe two years, of concerns in one go.

This kid. Was so much like himself. 

But suddenly Cloud had a bigger understanding of the underlining issues that kept his kid awake. Of his nightmares, even if he didn’t actually have one that woke him up this time.

He found himself humming, and settling his kid on his side. 

“No, I didn’t need another kid, Denzel, or one of my own.” He started, he heard the whimper, then the sniff. “And no, I didn’t need to keep you,” He explained as he fished out Fenrir’s rag to wipe his kid’s nose easily. “And it wasn’t because of you that I left, Denz.” He added. 

“Then why? Because you needed money?” Denzel stressed. 

Cloud felt his face pinch. “The fact you know that children are adopted, and their carers receive money for it, is appalling.” Cloud hissed. “But no. Not for money, not because you fell unconscious next to my bike. Kid, are you listening?” He demanded, grabbing his chin gently and moving him, making sure he stayed put with his forehead, each set of glowing eyes watching the other. “Because this is important, you got it?” He asked. 

Denzel couldn’t help but nod, mutely. 

“I adopted you because you’re my kid. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I don’t need the money the adoption agency gives me to raise you. Hell, if I had it alone, it wouldn’t be enough. But I don’t care, understand? This dad thing goes both ways, kiddo. I’m your dad? Then you’re my son.” Cloud admitted, watching the awe finally cross his kid’s face.

“Really?” Denzel questioned with a shaky breath. 

Cloud made a show of dramatically rolling his eyes. “Maybe one day you’ll regret it.” He warned in mirth. 

Denzel squawked in defiance. “Nope!” He cried.  

“You’ve been my kid even before I knew you needed me to be your Dad.” Cloud muttered into hazel hair. “Not that I knew it, or you knew it.” He added softly. 

Denzel hummed thoughtfully. “But you were really worried about it?” He questioned. 

Cloud, by now, figured it was safe to start walking and started to pace around the village, following the river’s sounds and the fire lanterns pitched around here and there. 

“I was … I was going to die on you and Tifa. What help would that have been, huh?” He heard the derisive snort. “Hush you,” He playfully hissed, earning a giggle as he crossed a bridge. “Then I got it into my head that I wasn’t good enough to be a good dad to you. I’m just me.” He stated, carefully walking to make sure he didn’t jostle the bridge and scare his kid.

Denzel gave out a tired, annoyed grumble. 

Cloud snorted. 

“You’ve actually had a dad before me, Denz. Surely there are things I’m doing way wrong.” Cloud rebutted softly. 

Denzel laid down his head, and shook it into Cloud’s neck.

“You’re doing great.” He mumbled. 

Cloud grinned. 

He couldn’t help the fact that the little comment sent pride swelling up in his chest.

But his little plan was working as well.

Walk around, and slowly, but surely, his kid would lose the fight to stay awake. 

“Marlene isn’t yours, so you’ve never had a kid before me. Surely I’m doing worse.” Denzel echoed. 

That was the most ridiculous thing—!

Cloud would have burst out laughing as he lapped the village a third time if it wasn’t half past midnight somewhere. 

“The most silliest thing you’ve said, Denz.” Cloud commented easily. 

He heard the tired complaint from Denzel, trying to respond. 

“Some families don’t have blood, like ours, to tie them together. We’re together by choice, Denz. I’m your dad by choice.” Cloud explained. 

“Then I’m your kid because I wanna be.” Denzel sleepily pouted. “Also, your wolf ring is really, really cool.” Denzel snorted.

“Betrayed by my own son, I see how it is.” Cloud cajoled quietly.

Denzel quietly giggled happily, yet sleepily.

Cloud subtly started to rock while he went on the bridge, using its momentum in his bid to get his kid to sleep.

He heard it from Barret once. When Marlene was a baby, and refused to sleep. Before she got too heavy for him.

No time like the present. 

Quite literally. 

With no more sound reproaches, Cloud kept walking until he knew his kid was going to stay gone with the wind.

Because now he was left behind with his own questions. 

Was lurking silently behind all of this, the cause of his nightmares, the begging in the early days after Geostigma for him to stay the night because it’s really late, Cloud! and one more story! …was he the problem? Again?

Did Denzel silently fear he would leave again?

Did Tifa?

Maybe they weren’t even aware of it. 

But he had scarred them so deep with his own choices.

That he left them. 

That must have been where the money part came from. Denzel rationalising he must have left because they needed money. He left because Denzel cost money to keep.

Perhaps, it became one the reasons it took Denzel so long to verbally call him his father.

The panic over whenever he said he needed to step out.

The off comment from Tifa that he and Marlene had tried to stay up to welcome him back.

The surprise when he was there in the mornings, reaching for the coffee pot, with no brain filter and no words, trying to remember signing was useless with them when they didn’t speak it. Had no interest in learning it.

The awe they had when they spotted him when he started to pick them up from school more and more instead of Tifa. The stupor when he was able to catch them in the mornings, with a reminder that he would take them to school.

How many times had he caught Tifa waiting for him before she noticed he had returned, after she had closed the bar, with a nervous expression on her face as she stared out the window?

It was happening less and less now, but it was every night at one point.

He hated the expression. It was one of the reasons he tried to get home within the same time frame every day he was out. Call early when he knew he couldn’t make it, or knew he would be later than he wanted to be.

The sudden joy the kids had when he appeared behind them when they were brushing their teeth at night. 

“Cloud! You’re back!” Denzel had yelled in shock, while Marlene threw her brush down and bolted for his leg.

“Cloud, can you read this?” Denzel had asked. “It’s late, right? Tifa won’t mind if you stay, right? Oh, wait, I should probably ask…?”  

Cloud could remember the panic on his pale face, then the befuddlement. The tight grip he had on him, whenever he thought he wouldn’t be reprimanded for the gesture, for being clingy. Not that he ever was in Cloud’s opinion.

The kid hadn’t come straight out and say don’t go! But he might as well have shouted it from Seventh Heaven’s rooftop.

“Cloud?” Tifa was asking. 

He paused and looked behind him. 

She really did have the uncanny ability to know when he was careening.

But he smiled to her. “Hey,” He greeted quietly as he turned to her. 

Tifa smiled back. 

“I woke up and neither of you were asleep where you should be.” She commented. 

Cloud nodded. “Woke up to Denzel awake and fretting.” He explained. 

He saw the concern filter on her face as she came closer. 

Cloud watched peacefully that once she was close enough, she ran her fingers through their kid’s hair. 

“Is he alright now?” She asked.  

Cloud hummed. “I think it was a long time coming.” He noted. 

Tifa sided her head. “What do you mean?” She asked. 

He couldn’t help but sigh tiredly. 

“He asked me if I adopted him for money, Teef.” He muttered.

She stared.

Chapter Text

You were alone, left out in the cold. Clinging to the ruin of your broken home. Too lost and hurting to carry your load. We all need someone to hold. You’ve been fighting the memory, all on your own. Nothing worsens; nothing grows. I know how it feels being by yourself in the rain. We all need someone to stay. Nothing tastes like the things you had, so turn it off, why don’t you let them go? Hear you, falling and lonely, cry out: Will you fix me up? Will you show me hope? At the end of the day, we’re helpless.
Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?

— Vancouver Sleep Clinic (Someone to Stay)

25. Someone to Stay

“Is he alright now?” She asked.  

Cloud hummed. “I think it was a long time coming.” He noted.

Tifa sided her head. “What do you mean?” She asked.

He couldn’t help but sigh tiredly.

“He asked me if I adopted him for money, Teef.” He muttered.

She stared.

“I don’t need him for money.” Cloud couldn’t help the words exploding from him in distaste. 

“You told him this?” Tifa asked. 

He nodded. “As well, as for all the other reasons, he thought it would be.” He huffed indignantly.

He heard her giggle. 

“Tifa.” He called. 

He heard her acknowledging hum.

“Do I need to do more?” Cloud asked, looking at her gently. 

She frowned. 

“So his nightmares go away.” He added.

She blinked. 

“I think you’ve got that covered,” Tifa gestured to the fact Denzel was snoring quietly against his shoulder. 

Oh.

He shook his head. “No. Not that. So they don’t come back.” He insisted. 

Tifa looked to him. 

“I don’t…?” She asked. 

“He fears I’m gonna leave.” He saw the flinch she did. “And you do too.” He said. 

Cloud watched as realisation poured over her face. 

“Cloud…” She said with a sigh, she came to rest her head on his spare shoulder. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. That’s the only thing you can do.” She muttered. 

He blinked. 

“You sure? Nothing more?” He asked gently. 

She giggled. “That and get some sleep. Seriously. Would it kill you to stay in bed, so I can wake up to find you there in the morning next to me?” She cajoled. 

Cloud huffed. “If you say so.” He answered. 

Cloud didn’t move until she moved off his shoulder. 

“Is anyone else awake?” He asked. 

“If they are, they’re doing a really good job of looking like they’re asleep.” She noted. 

He nodded, and turned back in the direction of Cissnei’s house, not bothered to cover a yawn.

“If you’re grumpy in the morning, don’t grouch at me.” She warned.

He snickered happily. 

He would never!

But they got back into the house without waking anyone. 

Put Denzel back down, and then went back to sleep just as easily.

Easy-peasy.

/

/

Cloud was a little surprised he woke when the sun decided to cross his face.

Not too much surprised that the arm Tifa had taken during the night had obviously gone numb.

He carefully detangled himself and sat up slowly so she wouldn’t wake at him moving.

His eyes roamed the rest of those still sleeping. 

Denzel and his parents were still sleeping, the same as Red and Aerith.

There was something he needed to do before they left. 

He was very much afraid that he would need a potion for it. 

Especially if they asked questions, questions he didn’t know the answers to just yet.

Whether because he didn’t know how to answer them, or he just plain and simple, didn’t remember the reason for the question.

But they…

They needed to know.

And he probably needed to bring along Tifa and Aerith.

Aerith because they probably knew her from letters. He was pretty sure he ranted about her in them. Since he never stopped for breath when he ranted about her to him whenever he had the chance.

And Tifa because he didn’t dare to think he could do this on his own.

Aside from that, he didn’t know what was next. That, and the fact they needed to wait for Barret to come back from his flying trip. They said they’d meet him here.

It was like the parts of him that weren’t him and still mako soaked were almost silently confused at the turn of recent events.

There was no place to go. No growling in the back of his stomach.

While the claws hadn’t dug badly in since that he figured they hated Tifa being anywhere near close.

He might be slow, but he wasn’t dumb in that regard.

But the girls could wake in their own time.

Cloud laid back down, his free arm going behind his head, and he dozed.

Listening to the sounds of the people around him peacefully. 

Cloud wasn’t too aware of how long he drifted while listening to those close by and the surrounding nature. 

But they soon started making sounds that they were waking. 

“Motherfucker.” He surprisingly heard from the older blonde. Grumpy?

Best to maybe not antagonise him. Potentially, he should probably also bet whether he’d send Yuffie flying the moment she opened her mouth.

Was that bad?

Probably.

But it would be hilarious to see her go flying into the river.

Next was Red, who stretched and yawned loudly. 

With at least three awake, he was safe to sit up and stretch quietly.

Tifa giggled at him, and he jabbed her side. 

She screeched in surprise that he retaliated. He threw the covers over her head with a smile.

Tifa sputtered in humour. 

Then came Aerith and Cissnei.

“Oh yeah, you’re all still here.” Cissnei muttered tiredly. “I’m gonna need my house back.” She reminded. 

Yuffie jumped up from wherever she was hiding. “I got it!” She yelled, then in a whirlwind was collecting the futons, whether they were occupied or not. 

She had some sense to leave Denzel alone. 

“Huh?” The older blonde was muttering, sitting up and rubbing one eye in confusion as to how a sudden cyclone was in the living room.

“I’m gonna need help to move the table!” Yuffie was yelling from outside. 

“I’m throwing her into the river.” Adult Cloud was grumbling, irritated as he got up. 

Mom Tifa was giggling, as if she found her husband’s ire hilarious. 

He stalked outside. 

“NEVER MIND!” Yuffie was yelling in panic.

Now Mom Tifa was laughing.

“What crawled up his…?” Cissnei asked, a little nervous. 

“Denzel had him up late last night, for at least a few hours.” Mom Tifa explained.

Huh. That was Cloud sleep-deprived? 

Noted. He was a grump. Technically, depending on who was asked, he was always a grump.

“Hey, um…” He looked over to see Tifa start, looking to her older self curiously.

Mom Tifa looked up from making sure Denzel was okay. “Are you okay?” She asked, noting Tifa was looking at her.

Tifa nervously came over to her as she unfolded the only physical map they had possession of. 

“Can you mark down where this Mideel place is?” She asked.

Tifa had no clue where Adult Cloud had sent Barret and Dyne to, but she could gather enough of what was put down to understand why the older blonde knew of the place.

She watched as Mom Tifa blinked, then lit up in understanding, only to take the pen and mark down the clinic’s location on the map. “If you need it, you won’t need to spend weeks trying to find him.” She muttered kindly.

Yeah. That was what Tifa was afraid of.

/

/

Cloud looked over to Aerith and Tifa. 

“Tifa. Aerith?” He asked. 

Tifa paused in putting her arm brace back on. 

“Present!” Aerith sang happily, one arm up. 

“Mind helping me with something?” He asked. They both nodded eagerly, so he turned to Cissnei. “Mind pointing me in the direction of the Fair’s?” He questioned.

Everyone else present, froze.

But Cissnei nodded, face pale. “I’ll show you.” She muttered, then gestured to the door.

Mom Tifa quickly got up and handed him a potion.

Yep. He teethed his gloves off. 

Better safe than sorry.

Cissnei lead them over several bridges, and pointed to one house. 

“You’ll find them there.” She told them. 

He nodded. “Thanks.” He muttered.

She looked a little worried, but left them be.

Cloud gripped Tifa’s hand a little more. “Here goes nothing.” He braced. 

This wouldn’t be pretty. At all.

Aerith was the braver one to knock on their front door.

It opened to reveal a woman. “Hello?” She asked in confusion. 

“I’m sorry, but Cissnei said you were the Fair’s?” Aerith asked.

The door flew open. “Yes!” She said loudly, as if surprised. “Can we help you?” She cried.

“May we come in…?” Aerith asked, not wanting to loiter in the doorway for this. 

She nodded, and let them in. 

“We’ve been hoping for news for some time now!” She cried. 

“You are here for that, right?” A male voice asked. 

Cloud lingered to ensure that the door closed behind them. He looked up at the voice, and couldn’t help but stall at the man. He could see Zack in him clear as day.

Him staring, caught his attention. 

“Your eyes.” The man paused. “You’re a SOLDIER, aren’t you?” He questioned. 

Never in doubt that they had the right house.

“Was.” Cloud muttered. 

Zack’s mother raced up to him, and took the hand that was spare. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know our son, would you?” She pleaded tearfully. 

Cloud hissed painfully. “You’ll…need to sit down.” He mumbled. 

Hell, he might need to sit down along with them.

They nodded, and sat, and he gripped Tifa’s hand.

“He, um.” His face pinched. “I can’t remember much at the moment. But he was my friend.”

“We’re friends, right?”

“He tried to help as much as he could when my village burned five years ago. Three weeks ago, we were trying to make it back to Midgar. He, um…” He couldn’t say it.

“Sorry, man. Feel like I failed you.”

But she immediately understood, and collapsed her face into her hands and sobbed. 

He brought her to his side as she cried, his face pinched.

“Thank you, for telling us.” He said painfully. 

Cloud nodded. 

“He was trying to get back to Aerith,” He sided his head towards where Aerith was. “He talked about her a lot.” He added. 

This was news to both Tifa and Aerith. 

With them behind him, he didn’t see their shocked surprise. They hadn’t known this previously.

His mother giggled wetly. 

“Of course,” She said, wiping her eyes, then looking to Aerith. “I thought you might have been her.” She answered, with a small, pained smile. 

Aerith just smiled. “I doubt I was the only one?” She muttered. 

His father laughed. “Oh, no, don’t think that. That wasn’t like him!” He reassured her easily.

Aerith smiled. 

“I’m sure you have things you need to do, and we’ve left half our friends back with Cissnei. I’m sure at least one of them as been thrown into the river by now!” Aerith said, try to sound pleasant. 

“Please don’t be strangers.” His mother pleaded.

Cloud nodded. “Sorry for the bad news.” He muttered.

His father shook his head. “No, I’m thankful you’ve told us. Please take care.” He said. 

Then they filed out. 

Cloud got down the stairs, and halfway to the nearest bridge before his legs gave out on him.

“Cloud!” They both screeched in panic. 

Tifa rushed to sit next to him. “Are you okay?” She asked in panic. 

Cloud really couldn’t help but lean into her. 

“That was terrifying.” He muttered in exhaustion. 

Coming from the man who killed Sephiroth. 

Tifa couldn’t help but run her fingers through his hair.

“But I’m proud you did it.” Tifa told him. 

This made him look at her and grin happily. 

Then they were hearing Yuffie screech.

Then the splash of water. 

“She pissed him off.” Cloud muttered. 

The girls immediately realised he was technically talking about himself, and if the older blonde could be put into that position, then surely he could be too. Then this version in front of them could easily throw someone into the river.

Don’t piss off a grumpy Cloud. Life lesson, apparently. 

Yuffie was screeching angrily by the time they reached them.

“You butt!” She was yelling, hanging onto a rock. 

“You’re too loud.” The older blonde was muttering in annoyance. 

Grumpy and annoyed.

They saw the absolute glee on Mom Tifa’s face, and the fact Denzel was covering his mouth to hide his grin.

Red was shaking his head in disappointment, while Cait looked panicked. 

“Is she go nae be alrigh’?” Cait was asking. 

“Unfortunately.” Adult Cloud mumbled. 

“I swear!” Barret was calling, making them all look to him being escorted into the village. “I leave you guys for five minutes and someone gets thrown.” He stated, laughing. 

“Barret!” The girls cheered, waving hands to him. 

“Friend of yours?” Cissnei asked. 

Cloud nodded, with it, the guards let him go.

“Uh, HELLO! Drowning!” Yuffie screeched from the river. 

“Drown.” Adult Cloud clipped back in annoyance.

“MEANIE!” Yuffie yelled back.

He actually walked back into the house. 

“Someone else fish her out.” He grumbled. 

Cissnei laughed and went to get a longer staff. 

“Is he good?” Barret asked in worry.

Tifa laughed. 

“He’s sleep-deprived, but fine. Give him another hour, and he’ll apologise.” She said cheerfully. 

It took an hour for them to fish Yuffie out downstream, once a staff wasn’t found long enough. 

She grumbled under her breath as she stomped back.

“What exactly did you do that earned you a nature’s bath?” Barret asked, trying not to laugh. 

Yuffie glared at him, causing him to laugh at her.

She pouted and stalked off in annoyance, probably to find a patch of sun to dry out in.

“It’s been an hour, does he need more time, or is there a chance he’ll throw someone else overboard?” Barret asked, extremely curious for this information to later store in case Cloud ever got this sleep-deprived in his presence again.

Mom Tifa shook her head. “Not unless you give him a reason to.” She warned gently.

Ah, yeah. Oops.

Because he could always throw someone if he wanted to.

Right. 

Check.

Chapter Text

A falling star fell from your heart, and landed in my eyes. In the dark, I can hear your heartbeat. I tried to find the sound, but then it stopped, and I was in the darkness. So, darkness, I became. I took the stars from my eyes, and then I made a map. And knew that, somehow, I could find my way back. Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too. So I stayed in the darkness with you. The stars, the moon. They have all been blown out. You left me in the dark. No dawn, no day. I’m always in this twilight. In the shadow of your heart.

— Florence + The Machine (Cosmic Love)

26. Cosmic Love

They reentered the house only to find the older blonde to be sitting on the floor, cross-legged, entertaining an off-white coloured cat with a stray piece of wool he had found from somewhere. He had disregarded all the recently returned furniture for this.

“Ah. No. Claws in.” He was scolding, clucking his tongue once in disapproval. “Fluffy is much better behaved than you. Even her kittens.” He was muttering with a scowl. 

Right. Nibelheim. Just another town ShinRa raised to the ground, then rebuilt on top of its remains, a lie for the world to believe in.

But apparently Tifa’s cat remained. That he remembered to check up on yearly. 

Who was apparently better at not swiping at blondes as this one was trying to do, in order to cheat the wool from his hands faster.

“Cloud,” Mom Tifa called. 

He looked up and grinned. “Hey.” He answered. The cat attempted to claw him. “Wow. Rude.” He muttered, frowning at the creature. “Your cat is much better behaved, Tifa.” He added. 

Mom Tifa looked as softly bewildered as they did, but she, alongside with their younger versions, sat on the wooden floor near him and the cat. While Barret sat on the couch after kicking it gently to be in the direction to face him.

He blinked at the noise Barret made. “Oh, hey, Barret.” He noted, while still absentmindedly moving the piece of wool around for the cat. 

Denzel had come to sit next to his father, giggling every so often at the cat’s antics. 

Adult Cloud seemed to have an idea of when the cat would spring at his hand and jerk it away before he could get clawed again.

“You said before about Fluffy?” Mom Tifa questioned. 

Adult Cloud blinked, before looking as if he remembered something, and went to grab his PHS from a pocket.

“I forgot I had it turned on still. Here.” He said, with a few flicks, the phone booted up its holographic projector once he put it down on the floor away from the cat’s paws and jumps to show something. 

There was a roar of an engine, loudly in the darkness of the recording. 

“Fenrir!” Denzel called happily at the noise he was familiar with.

Then the muffle of the camera as he moved, his gloved fingers flipped several switches, before he jolted, the engine died, and he moved off the bike. The bike seemed to open sideways, and he picked out his Fusion sword as well as something boxy and brown.

He turned, and he was at the entrance to Nibelheim. 

Standing tall as if it hadn’t been burnt.

He easily made his way through, passing children easily and a few adults. Some waved at him. Like they knew him.

But none of them looked familiar to Cloud or Tifa.

He came to the middle of the square. Since from wherever his camera was recording from, either a pocket, or clipped onto a strap somewhere at chest height, they could see the water tower looming above him from where he paused. 

From his body movements, they could tell he was looking this way and that.

They barely heard the click of his tongue in annoyance, just before he moved off to the right. 

Tifa’s house.

Where he moved to and knocked on the door. 

He moved around, looking at the courtyard. He was obviously looking for something. 

A man, who was clearly not Brian Lockhart opened the door a little, then seeing him, opened it fully, with a grin. 

“Strife! There you are!” He answered happily, sounding relieved.

“You do realise how much it costs to come out here, right?” Adult Cloud was asking.

The man was laughing. “You’re the only one who does, son!” The man answered, handing over a sizable coin pouch for him to take.

They could hear the disapproving hum, but something brown and square was lifted into view. 

“Thank you, kindly!” The man added, taking the parcel.

“Hey.” He called before the man shut the door. “You seen a cat? White one. Has kittens, last time I was here.” He asked. 

The man paused, then shook his head. “You can ask next door, I think she keeps them.” He answered. 

They could hear him hum, before he moved off.

While Adult Cloud really wasn’t paying attention to something he recorded, he was trying to urge the cat to move over to Denzel. So the kid could pet it at least, since the kid had lost interest the moment Fenrir was out of the picture. 

The others were raptured in a town they knew was burnt down five years ago.

But they immediately noted the hesitance in the man as he paused, seeing his own-yet-not-house. They heard the annoyed sigh, before he walked up the lane to the door. 

It wasn’t opened by Claudia Strife, but another woman who had flour on her face. 

“Hello, dear! It’s been awhile!” She called. “Spot of tea?”  

From the jerks the camera made, they could guess the man was shaking his head vehemently. “I don’t see your cat?” He was asking.

The lady lit up. “Oh! Be a dear! She’s run off again! ” In lieu of asking a favour. 

The visuals moved as he stepped backwards and to the left. 

“Again, huh? I’ll be back.” He told her before moving off completely. 

They noted the extremely large berth he gave the mansion, to the several easy jumps he did up the mountain to save time. He stopped a few places to search, only to come up empty-handed. That, and a few times monsters decided to be foolish and attack him. He was up the mountain in no time.

But the reactor loomed just as it had before, up the stairs and through the doors, saw the thing still had its lights on.

“Where are you this time?” The man muttered softly. 

Then he paused, froze and turned around, then moved to the other side of the room. Most likely hearing something the audio hadn’t captured. 

He moved various boxed crates, and there looking up at him was a white cat, and a new litter of kittens. 

The cat mewed happily up at him, seeing someone she knew. 

“One of these years, you will get hurt trekking up here.” He scolded quietly. 

The cat mewed back at him. He lent down, and the cat let him pat her, and inspect the kittens.

The visuals captured him moving the boxes out of the way to get to her more easily. 

“Come on, you. Up.” He said as he laid down what looked like a part of his own clothing into an empty box. 

She allowed him to help move the kittens, then easily plopped herself down, and he stood up. 

“Yeah. I don’t like it either.” He muttered. 

Then it paused, and the play button blinked. 

Adult Cloud picked the device up.

“She’s fine.” He answered. 

Mom Tifa was smiling softly. “Thank you, Cloud.” She said, gratefully. 

He shrugged, putting his PHS away. “She won’t leave the village, yet hates it. She confuses me.” He muttered. 

“Why were you filming in the first place?” Tifa asked, curiously. 

He looked at her, surprised. “Delivery insurance. Forgot I still had it running.” He muttered. Then hissed when the cat caught his arm. He smacked her nose gently. “No.” He scolded. 

The cat hissed at him, then jumped to the window and was gone. 

Cloud could smell the blood before he heard the annoyed grunt from the man. 

Denzel was already up and running for the kitchen seconds before the man brought his arm up to his mouth.

“Are you alright?” Mom Tifa was asking in concern.

His muffled hum confirmed he was, just annoyed. 

Denzel came back with a wet paper piece that he gave to his father, who immediately slapped it onto his arm.

The man was glaring at his arm. 

Cloud figured he knew himself at this point to know to take the pressure off him, and nudged his Tifa. 

“So, what now?” Tifa asked, catching on. 

This got them to give a thought as to their next steps.

They turned back to the older blonde when he hummed five minutes later. 

“What’s best is that we probably don’t stay in one place for too long. Cissnei will murder me if we bring ShinRa here.” He muttered.

“So, leave and then figure it out?” Cloud asked.

He nodded, distracted by removing the rag to see if the blood had clotted. Seeing so, he sent a small fire spell into the rag, then got up. 

“I’ll tell Cissnei we’re leaving.” He answered as Denzel launched up onto his feet as well. 

“I’ll help!” Denzel requested. 

They watched as the blonde ruffled his kid’s hair before leaving. 

It was a fair assessment. 

When they stayed in places for too long, either something ended up exploding, or ShinRa rolled up onto their lawn.

So, they went about getting their gear and stuff from wherever they were tossed during the night, and returning Cissnei’s living room back to how they originally found it. 

Starting with the couch that Barret had just recently kicked into submission.

/

/

They found Yuffie on the way out.

She pouted, but got over it extremely quickly when Mom Tifa returned her materia. 

She saluted and fell in line next to Barret and Red, happily. 

Cloud didn’t need to question why they were leaving the Gongaga region, by how they got in. 

He wouldn’t want ShinRa to try to track them into the jungle and find the village.

This way they would leave fresher tracks around Coral, if they wanted to cause trouble.

Not that he trusted that Shinra wouldn’t send troops, even if he said he wouldn’t.

He just…didn’t trust his word as far as he could throw the man from the Sister Ray.

Once they were out of the region, they hopped off the chocobos to send them back to Cissnei.

Adult Cloud had gotten the threatening warning to not take them over the shores and corals into the Coral region.

They squawked happily and ran off back into the jungle.

Denzel was immediately distracted by the Rugged Shoals depot, and was zooming off to investigate it, happily within eyesight. With their kid running, his parents were distracted in making sure he was supervised.

“So, how exactly are we getting across the river without getting wet?” Barret was asking. 

“I could throw you?” Cloud suggested easily. 

Barret glared at him. “Don’t. You. Dare.” He warned.

Cloud grinned, but left the man alone.

“But seriously. What now?” Yuffie grouched. “Where to now?” She asked. 

“Away from Gongaga, sounds like a good start.” Cloud stated. “They don’t need ShinRa snooping around because of us.” He reminded. 

Tifa and Aerith were nodding in acceptance.

ShinRa seemed to follow them, even with Shinra saying they wouldn’t. Even if they weren’t specifically after them at the moment. They still ran into them and butted heads.

Cloud needed to hope that running into Scarlet didn’t put them in a bad spot with Shinra himself. 

Nothing on the terms stated that Gongaga was fair game.

Just that they couldn’t go back to Midgar. 

Not that he could remember that entire conversation with clarity. 

They didn’t exactly have the ability to call chocobos from where they were. 

Not that Cloud didn’t try. 

Either that, or it was taking the birds awhile to get to them from wherever they stabled. Which could still be the case. He hoped. 

He didn’t want to go back into the jungle to go to their airstrip. Not when the whole plan was to move away from Gongaga to ensure, if ShinRa was actually following them, they would have no need to go into the village.

Cloud hoped. 

North was still where that part of him wanted to go.

Now that he was on the move again, the growling part of him seemed to have realigned itself out of its confusion, and picked north, again, as a location he should be headed towards. 

Was North the place the event Zack wanted to be changed?

Where Aerith…?

Cloud looked over to the future family and noted that Denzel was fiddling with a vending machine of sorts, while his parents seemed to be having a silent conversation with their facial expressions, about something.

Cool.

But not helpful. 

He looked at everyone else, Red seemed to be stretching where he lay, thankful for the rest stop. Him stretching outwards seemed to make Cait fall over face-first into the sand. He ignored the sandy protest the cat did at Red at the sand now everywhere. 

Barret and Yuffie seemed to be in an argument over something. By looks, Barret seemed to be winning it simply by keeping the ninja at arms length with a hand on her head, pushing her away. 

Aerith was nearby, acting as referee to Barret, and trying to mitigate his anger, kindly.

The only person really nearby was Tifa, who really had decided to stick to his right side like she had just invented glue.

Not that he minded. 

Her being this close meant that at any given moment he could focus on her heartbeat and her breathing to drown out everything else.

He really needed to thank her for all she did silently for him.

Cloud just didn’t know how to thank her. 

Just what would be worthy of what she did? He couldn’t think of a single thing that would be grand enough to encapsulate all that he was grateful for. 

Denzel finally seemed to lose interest in the depot, and the family walked back over to them.

“Are we swimming, or am I tossing Barret?” Adult Cloud questioned.

“Of all the…!” Barret exploded, angrily.

Tifa giggled.

“Maybe we can climb over the bigger rocks if we don’t want to get wet?” Aerith mediated. 

He looked to her, looked to the bigger rocks, then back to her again.

“Am I meant to help, or am I allowed to laugh when Barret falls off his ass?” He questioned mischievously. 

Barret glared at the older blonde, warningly. 

Barret was dismissed completely when he looked at Cloud. 

“You go first, I’ll go last.” He offered. He signed it as well, Cloud noted easily.

Cloud nodded, signing back with his free hand that he understood him, knowing at least he wouldn’t be ferrying people, but look out on the other side. 

He looked to Tifa, who was already tugging his hand gently. So he didn’t need to ask if she was coming or not, at least.

He didn’t see his older version grin, as if he passed a test.

Ten minutes later, and several missteps from her, his skin was itching to just pick her up, protectively. 

He wanted to, but didn’t know if she would allow it. 

Tifa nearly slipped, seeing her skidding, he whined and yanked her towards him. 

Cloud felt her latch onto his clothing at his sides and her head crash into his chest. 

“—You okay?” He asked worriedly. 

It only took one slippery slide for her to take out an ankle. And knowing her, she wouldn’t tell him that she did it.

He felt her nod against him. 

“Um. Cloud?” She muttered. 

Cloud looked down as he hummed. 

“I’m not gonna make the next one.” She added breathlessly. 

He looked out and saw the wider gap. After various near misses, she had lost her confidence.

He didn’t blame her. His ability to just pull her to him and jump had frayed fifteen minutes ago.

“Can I take you over?” Cloud asked quietly. 

“Please.” She answered, tightening her grip. 

“Alright. Hold on.” He said. 

She didn’t screech when he easily lifted her, or when he easily jumped the gap. 

Tifa wasn’t even surprised he didn’t move away once he put her down on the other side. 

What actually did surprise her was how long he lasted until he asked her in the first place. 

Maybe she missed the signs, completely absorbed in watching where she put her feet, maybe. 

When she felt him put her down, she looked up to see the protective glancing the beach was getting for fiends. 

While he put her down, he didn’t retract his arm around her waist.

Not that she was perturbed by that, in any case. 

There were no fiends. 

But he continued to hold her silently. 

They only jerked back at the sound of Barret screeching blue murder when he fell into the water. 

She heard the almost laugh pass his lips. 

In the next moment, in a mixture of yellow and black, Adult Cloud cleanly jumped the river to put Denzel and Cait down. 

“I told him he wouldn’t make it.” They heard him grumble, mirth clinging to his tone. 

Yuffie seemed adept at just running at the speed of light across the water, without a care in the world, while Barret resigned himself to swimming. 

“Not a word.” He grumbled as he hunkered up to them. 

Cloud wisely kept his mouth shut as Red came out of the water, and made things worse when he shook the water off his fur onto Barret. 

The man was screeching when the older blonde last ferried Aerith and his Tifa across easily. 

It was only then Cloud felt the air shift and change, looking up he saw the familiar looking readying summoning circle. 

“Did you invite someone?” He asked, going for his Buster sword at his shoulder. 

With how Adult Cloud went for his Fusion at his side, warily? Nope. He did not. 

He was just as surprised when a black haired SOLDIER was thrown into the sand as the rest of them.

-END OF PART 1-

Chapter Text

I don’t care if I quit feeling. I don’t care if I forget. I have already sealed away the hole in my heart. It’s okay if I keep hurting, I don’t feel pain anymore. Stuck in my own hell, I’ve even lost myself, my heart is broken glass: only a withered shell. Hear the howling wind, calling out like a cry for help. Go follow all of your scars, tracing the pain in your heart before you’re crushed by the pressure of your life, the weight of the world and sky. Do you remember that day? The sky’s so tearful and grey. All that pain, was made to protect you so that you could live through. All that pain, it will always protect you: it was always meant to.

— Lee and Lie (Sign)

27. Sign

It was only then Cloud felt the air shift and change, looking up he saw the familiar looking readying summoning circle. 

“Did you invite someone?” He asked, going for his Buster sword at his shoulder. 

With how Adult Cloud went for his Fusion at his side, warily? Nope. He did not. 

He was just as surprised when a black haired SOLDIER was thrown into the sand as the rest of them.

The newcomer laid there and groaned in pain, shoving his palms into his eye ridges.

Everyone else, on the other hand? Stared.  

“Can you…?” Adult Cloud ended up muttering in concern.

“I see him.” Mom Tifa immediately responded. 

He warily and hesitantly moved forward, one hand still on his Fusion sword.

Tifa gripped Cloud’s hand so hard, that he was a little concerned for her safety. 

The growling and the claws were silent. Confused.

The same as his vision. No green except for the natural green grass around him.

He wasn’t flashing. He knew that. 

They heard the little dink-like noise his boot made with the SOLDIER’s shoulder pauldron on the ground.

The man moved his hands down from his face. They could have seen his excitable grin from space.

“Oh, hey, Cloud!” He said happily.

Cloud couldn’t help the flinch he made. It was his voice.

“How are you… here?” Adult Cloud ended up questioning. 

If the man could look more like a kicked puppy pouting, he would actually be Stamp. 

“Aerith kinda got mad at me that I sent you here without saying why. So I kinda had to figure out how to send myself.” Zack was responding.

This was normal?!

Adult Cloud just ended up sighing. “Do…you want to get up?” He ended up asking instead, sounding confused and exasperated. 

The man grinned again, pulled his legs up, then jumped up onto his feet in seconds. “Sure!” He answered gleefully. 

This man was practically vibrating with victorious gleefulness, he was almost bouncing on his toes.

But they didn’t miss that his mako enhanced eyes glanced them over in a second. 

“One sec!” He requested, making half a pleading sign, before he bolted. 

And really before anyone, or rather Cloud, could tell him otherwise, he had made his way over to Aerith and was picking her up in a hug.

“Hi!” He almost yelled, jovially. 

Aerith squeaked in alarm when he easily lifted her off her feet and twirled her around a few times. 

They heard the mixture of confusion and exhaustion from the older blonde as he pawed the bridge of his nose. “Zack, drop her before she gets dizzy.” He muttered. 

“Oh.” Zack was muttering, then gently put her down. “Right. Sorry!” He apologised, making sure he put her down on her feet and made sure she wasn’t dizzy.

Aerith made a small huff at him, but otherwise didn’t complain.

She only protested when he moved away from her. She quickly grabbed his arm. 

They saw his blink, at the fact she grabbed him to stop him from moving away once she decided where he stood with her. 

Tifa had noted that her Cloud hadn’t stopped staring. In what looked like awe and confusion about who he was seeing in front of him. 

His hand wasn’t trembling, she had it gripped tight to make sure. 

But she had no idea what exactly Zack popping up was doing to him mentally. 

“I figured you brought us this far back to change Aerith’s death.” Adult Cloud summed up. 

Zack looked to him, surprised. “Oh. Was I that obvious?” He asked, confused. 

They all heard the derisive snort that came from him immediately. “About Aerith? Never.” He muttered sarcastically. 

This made Zack burst out laughing. “You were the only one who literally listened to my ranting, though, Cloud!” He protested loudly. Adult Cloud whacked him over the head, and he yelped.

“Had no choice.” He mumbled. Zack chuckled nervously.

They noted the sweep he made over them again, and paused, seeing Denzel poking his head out from behind his mother, looking warily curious. Zack looked to Aerith, and she nodded and dropped his arm.

Then the man blinked and was off like a shot. 

“Denzel!” He called. 

Denzel reared back in alarm at how suddenly the man was leaning down in front of him, and how he knew his name. 

“Cloud talks about you a lot!” Zack explained, happily as he sat, patting his knees once as he did before he leaned back on them, so the child that he was addressing didn’t need to hurt his neck looking up at him. “You make him very proud.” He insisted.

Denzel looked like he was struck mute between more awe and even more hero worship for his father. 

Zack reached up and poked Denzel’s forehead. 

“Yours was here, right?” He questioned. Denzel nodded. “I kinda hope he did say he left because he wanted to find a way for you to get better.” There was complete and utter stunned silence from Denzel. 

Mom Tifa looked to her Cloud, who shrugged. “Thought it was obvious.” He muttered, indignantly.

From the look everyone saw on her face? It had not been. 

“Ugh. Cloud.” Zack protested. “Welp, now you know. And I guess with how much time he spent at the church, kinda did, since Aerith and I were able to figure out what Geostigma was because of it.” He informed with a smile. 

“How’re—” Denzel tried to ask around a tongue that did not want to work. “How’re you here? Aren’t you…?” 

“Dead?” He questioned easily, not seeing the multitude of people flinching behind him. Denzel nodded. “Well, yeah? But also no? Complicated? Kinda complicated.” Zack tried to explain. “I really dunno why Rufus is so interested in the Promise Land, it’s kinda boring.” He insisted. Not at all noticing how confused he was making everyone else.

“Zack,” Adult Cloud tried to start, heavy exhaustion in his tone.

Zack grinned and got back up, ruffling Denzel’s hair once he did. He looked back to the older blonde curiously. 

“How is it complicated? You’re either dead, or alive.” He muttered in confusion. 

Zack blinked, paused as he crossed his arms, trying to gather his thoughts on how to explain, before he brightened. “Remember how Sephiroth explained about how every choice has its own version of events?” He asked.

They saw the frown the question put on the other man’s face as he tried to recall the conversation. 

“Yeah…? Some are more prominent than others…?” He said after a second or two, as if he was still a little unsure if he had the right conversation in mind. 

Zack clicked his fingers. 

“Yeah, so see, this,” He pounded on his chest. “Version of me, is from a version of a time when I didn’t die outside of Midgar!” He said cheerfully. 

“So you didn’t stay there, why?” Cloud found himself questioning. 

Zack turned to him, and grinned. “Heya!” He was walking over to the younger blonde and shook his shoulder with a grin. “You’re doing so much better!” He added in happy relief.

Cloud’s entire upper body half actually jolted from the shaking. “Huh?” He muttered in confusion. 

“And why I didn’t stay there? Eugh!” He flicked Cloud gently in the forehead. “This version of me? Had to watch you die slowly from mako addiction. Let me tell you! Not. Fun! Then! And then! The bombings on Midgar’s reactors? Chain reaction that hit several of them at the same time, including that of reactor’s five and seven! No one was left! Just me!” Zack explained, face paling in dissolution. 

Adult Cloud was sighing in vexation. 

“So you just somehow knew how to jump versions of time and reality?” He asked. 

Zack shook his head. “Nuh-huh. The version of me that threw you here? Yeah, he had to find me.” He answered. 

That was…confusing. 

They took a second to understand what he was saying exactly. 

“Wait.” Aerith was saying. “Are you saying the version we see of you, right now, is alive?” She was asking, trying to keep her tone straight-laced. Like she didn’t want to hope.

Zack turned to her, and nodded. “Yep!” He answered happily. 

“Won’t the whispers just take you back?” Adult Cloud questioned curiously. 

He shook his head. “Nope!” He said cheerfully. “They’re way too busy with Sephiroth trying to poison the Life stream! Aerith said it was easy to convince them that me being here would help rid him.” He added, helpfully. 

Sephiroth was doing what, to, the where?

“Sword?” Cloud muttered. For some reason, he signed it at the same time. And if Zack wanted it back.

Zack blinked. Cloud noted the man followed his hand gestures easily. Huh. Maybe that was why he had the impulse to sign?

“Oh yeah, don’t have mine. I see you kept it, though. Was hoping you would, wasn’t sure if you were taking in anything of what I was saying.” Zack said, shaking his shoulder again with familiarity. 

It must have been a gesture the man did a lot, because Cloud wasn’t protesting, and seemed to rock at the movements without complaining.

“Back?” Cloud was asking. Do you want it back? He asked as well, then reaching for the hilt.

Zack blinked. “Nah, you keep it for now. We’ll find a replacement for you first, yeah?” Zack parlayed. 

Cloud sided his head, then nodded, looking confused. 

“What’s on your hand?” He asked.

Zack blinked and then looked at his hand as if he just remembered he had a pink ribbon tied there. 

“Oh yeah!” He gave Cloud’s shoulder one last playful shove, then he was back to Aerith. “For you!” He said as he undid the ties around his palm. Then he gently took one of her hands and popped a white, glittering piece of materia into it. “The Aerith where I came from wasn’t able to use it, since, uh, you know.” He ended uncomfortably with a flinch. 

Since she died.

Zack retied the ribbon around his wrist, while Aerith’s fingers closed over the materia.

“I’ll keep it for her.” She promised. 

Zack happily grinned, and looked like he was yet again about to start bounding on the balls of his feet.

“How did you get the idea to do this, in the first place?” Tifa was asking. 

He turned to her and smiled politely. 

“Ah, well, Marlene said Cloud needed to get better so Sephiroth didn’t, ya know, kill Aerith, so,” Zack waved his hand at the Cloud he brought through. “Found him!” He stated proudly. 

Cloud wasn’t offended he wasn’t well. He knew he wasn’t. 

“How do you know my little girl?!” Barret was immediately questioning, protectively. Finally finding his voice.

Zack blinked. “Whoa! No harm!” He waved his arms rapidly when the man moved towards him threateningly. “She was at Elmyra’s! She was the one who told me what happened!” He defended in panic.

“Down, Barret.” Adult Cloud was requesting. “He’s fine.” He added. 

Barret glared, before huffing, and turning away to grumble. 

“Yeah, yeah…” He muttered, uneasy that he had another SOLDIER around him. 

“So what happens now?” Adult Cloud was asking. 

“Not going to the Forgotten Capital?” Zack questioned. 

Everyone blinked. 

“That’s your entire plan? Just…don’t, go?” He questioned, astounded. 

Zack chuckled nervously. “Never said I was a tactician! Sephiroth always was!” Zack protested. “If it wasn’t him, then it was Angeal!” He added in defence, throwing up his hands.

Adult Cloud pawed the ridge of his nose, looking suddenly exhausted.

Suddenly so much made sense.

“Hey!” Zack protested. “I heard that!” He added.

The older blonde snorted. “So the plan is to just not waltz into the Forgotten Capital, or Temple.” He asked. Zack nodded, and pointed at him eagerly. “Summon Holy, how?” He added. 

Zack blinked. 

“Oh.” He took a second. “Wait. Do we still need it? If there’s no black materia, then you can’t give it to Sephiroth, and he can’t summon Meteor.” He pondered. 

“Still need to erase Sephiroth, Zack.” Cloud muttered.

The heard his thoughtful hum, then look to Aerith. “Does it need to be a place of Cetra, for it to work?” He asked.

Aerith blinked in confusion.

“She doesn’t know the answer to that right now, Zack.” Adult Cloud said.

“Oh, right,” He ruffled his own hair. “Sorry!” He added.

“I may have an idea?” Red started.

Everyone turned to him. “Oh?” Aerith was curious. 

“It’s no Cetra place of origin, but surely the next best thing would be somewhere that has ties to the Planet? Like Cosmo Canyon?” He put forth. 

Adult Cloud hummed. “That might work.” He muttered. 

“Beats standin’ here.” Cloud answered. 

“But we’re,” Zack gave a full turn around, and latched onto the jungle across the river. “Huh. Gongaga? Cool. We’re here, how’d do we get there.” He asked. 

Everyone else turned to each other. 

“Cid!” They rejoiced. 

Zack blinked at them. “Uh, okay?” He muttered.

They were all worried about the first time they encountered a fiend with Zack, as weaponless as he was. 

But then the actual ex-SOLDIER just dives off the chocobo he was given, easily, bolting over to the so suddenly, helpless creature and punched its lights out, only slightly faster than Tifa could. 

They were no longer worried.

He also seemed to know every high-powered spell under the sun, and call up magic as fast as Aerith and both blondes of the group could.

They knew to bolt out the way when he started bouncing on his toes and shaking his fingers. The resulting destruction was vast and wide as the desert they were in. 

Sometimes the man was capable of throwing down smaller comets in the same amount of time. 

It all depended on whether the fiends they came across outlasted the first punch to the face, the follow-up smite of powerful magic, and if any were still alive, then came down the small balls of doom.

With how many of them were, and the always smaller groups of fiends they found? It barely got to the point the man used magic.

But he grinned all the same, and suddenly reverted into kid-like behaviour every time his chocobo came back at the beck and call of the whistle Cloud had. 

How this man was, albeit, an ex, SOLDIER, they didn’t know. 

He was too lenient, way too friendly, and never not smiling. 

Even with the slower pace they were going with, with Red giving up his chocobo for Zack, and to bound next to them. He didn’t seem to mind racing alongside them easily, and with the amount of fiends they came across, in the short length they had to cross to the nearest republic landing strip, they had to keep pausing anyway.

The man was also way too eager to put himself in harms way if it ensured he could yank Aerith out of it. 

They all noted the similarities he had with their resident blonde. 

They couldn’t help but wonder if self-sacrificing was a learnt skill in ShinRa, or just a ‘them’ trait.

Aside from the self-sacrificing tendencies, they noted that if he wasn’t next to Aerith, he tended to gravitate towards the younger blonde of the group. Either just to glance at him or shake his shoulder playfully. Like he was making sure Cloud was still there, and still him.

While Cloud seemed adept at phasing through whatever the other man was saying, especially if the man started ranting, easily filtering through the unimportant topics. He let Zack crowd close, and didn’t seem to mind at all the playful shoulder shoving, or the constant health checks.

The health check glances was something he was used to, with Tifa. 

Knew he couldn’t shy away from them, especially since when they got distracted and stopped checking on him? Incidents, like walking off piers into oceans and wandering off causeways into raging rivers, seem to happen at alarming and increasing rates.

He didn’t mind them.

And he knew Zack. Had for most of his ShinRa career. Either as a figure they rumoured about, or in person.

The man was his mentor towards the end of it.

His friend and technically also his saviour from being held against his will for four years.

The random, playful shoulder shoving? The use of SSL signs, asking if he was alright in his own head? All felt familiar. 

So it was probably something Zack picked up while they made their way to Midgar. Maybe after Junon? Before it?

And since that point in time was technically closer for Zack, then it was for him? The gestures were probably ingrained in him by now as a way to check on his wellbeing. 

He didn’t mind. And he heard Tifa giggle happily every time it happened. 

So no loss there, he figured.

At one point, Yuffie looked as if dawn broke over her face, and she pointed at him while Tifa and Aerith made the fire to call for Cid. 

“It’s you!” She screeched out. 

It made everyone jump to turn to her, to see her pointing at Zack. 

“You were in Wutai!” She screeched. 

Zack blinked in confusion at the assault of angry words, before he lit up in recognition. 

“Yuffie! It is you!” He cajoled, happily. As if he hadn’t wanted to assume it actually was her previously.

And before Yuffie could actually protest, he had his arms wrapped around her, sealing in her arms, and he was pulling her off the ground. “The best ninja in all of Wutai!” He was saying brightly.

Not at all offended, and laughing instead.

Thankfully for Yuffie, he didn’t spin her around like he did with Aerith previously. 

“You are so weird.” Yuffie muttered in confusion. 

“Eh. Sorry for invading your town? I dunno if apologising this late is okay?” He asked, putting her down gently. 

“You totally took those hits! Asshole!” Yuffie cried out in embarrassment. 

Zack laughed nervously. 

“My bad?” He asked.

She huffed at him, and punched his shoulder in annoyance. 

“You’re so rude.” She muttered. 

He grinned and patted her head. “Sorry for that.” He apologised. 

“You’re not supposed to apologise!” Yuffie yelled.

“Sorry!” Zack said again.

Yuffie screeched at him, and put her hands over her ears. “I’m not listening!” She added.

At least their trip wouldn’t be boring.

/

/

A/N:

If anyone is interested in hearing an Australian fox screeching blue murder about the OG FF7, you can find my highlights from me streaming the game on youtube here. :)

I asked my discord whether I should post them, and like the enablers that they are, here we are, with me having a youtube account as a result.

Chapter Text

No matter what the time, I’m just alone: Destiny forgotten. Even though, I kept going. Inside of me, the sudden light, I awaken in the middle of the night, in the pitch-black, take the light. And about the recent promises, is it just that I’m so anxious? A wish that’s wanting to be said, but shall be repressed. No matter what the time, we’ll always be together. No matter what the time, because you’re by my side.
The light known as “you” finds me, in the middle of the night.
Let’s talk more, about the tomorrow that’s before your very eyes.

— Utada Hikaru (Hikari | Light)

28. Light

At any amount of banter, it was immediately shot down by Cid, growling.

Since the first time ended up them rocking the poor plane and Cid nearly losing control.

“Sit ya asses down before I hurl you out!” Cid had been taking to yelling, at any noise coming from his passengers.

They learnt very fast, from the first time, to shut it and not move. 

The only person who really got a free pass was Denzel, who could giggle at the mute antics of his family and friends. 

They watched curiously as the older blonde was glaring at Zack for some reason, and seemed to sign something at him, angrily with one hand. 

Emotions ran across Zack’s face easily as he read the signs. 

Then he signed back apologetically.

Tifa barely heard the amused snort from her Cloud, she turned to him and seeing he was watching the exchange with humour on his face. 

At least he could follow along, even if she couldn’t guess what each gesture meant. Zack being there, thankfully, hadn’t put him in a downward spiral.

If anything, Cloud seemed better for it. 

And Zack seemed to be enforcing it with the amount of checking he did on Cloud. 

If he kept doing that? He could stay. Tifa wouldn’t mind. She’d forgive him.

Cid booted them out as soon as he landed, fearful that another creak his beloved plane made would be its last. 

With everyone distracted by thanking and fare-welling Cid, Cloud decided to survey the new desert they found themselves in for any signs of danger nearby.

He was suddenly very distracted by the blackened feather floating down into his vision.

Then the painful zip zap up his spine to his eyes, froze everything from the inside out as the man the feather belonged to seemed to now appear a few feet in front of him.

Frowning. 

He was frowning. As if he was the one confused by all of this.

“There you are, my puppet.”

Cloud could only stare, unmoving, as the man walked towards him, threateningly. 

His legs wouldn’t move. His arms couldn’t stop shaking.

Tifa.

Sephiroth was smiling, now as threatening as he was walking.

He needed—

“She can’t hear you here.”

Tifa figured Cloud moved to survey for any sign of fiends nearby, like he usually did when they came to a place they didn’t know.

So she didn’t think much of it as the plane took off.

It was only when Zack froze, and hummed in confusion, that she noted Cloud had gone stiff a few paces from her.

“Cloud?” He questioned cautiously, taking a few steps closer. 

Cloud didn’t answer.

Zack calling to Cloud, and him not responding, got everyone else looking. 

“What can you see?” They heard Zack question softly in concern as he walked up to his friend.

As far as Zack could see, there was nothing there.

But with how Cloud’s eyes were pinned on something that terrified him? He knew, by looking alone, his friend could see something. He turned to the older blonde, who was shaking his head, but going for his sword. Zack saw that Denzel was being moved behind his mother in caution.

Whatever it was, it was young blonde coded only. 

And it was worrying him. 

“His hand.” He heard Tifa mutter in panic. 

Zack zoomed in on Cloud’s hands. One was shaking badly. 

Bad sign?

Zack rapped his knuckles against Cloud’s shoulder in concern, hoping to gain the blonde’s focus, but with a split second rush of nausea, he saw exactly what Cloud could see. He yelped in alarm rounded at Cloud’s back, taking the Buster sword with him, and ensuring his friend was behind him.

He heard the panic gasps from behind him, spelling that now everyone could see him.

Sephiroth on the other hand, could now see him.

“Well, well, well, the puppet has found himself a guard dog.” He said easily, as if he found the situation interesting. 

“How are you—?!” Zack burst out to angrily question. 

The man just chuckled, then only to pause in confusion as something ripped through the mirage, and he was suddenly gone. 

Zack barely saw part of the Fusion slice through air in an arch around them, focusing more on that he felt Cloud stumble into his back. 

“Huh?” He heard Cloud mumble in confusion.

He swore up an apology to Angeal, wherever the man was, as he quickly shoved the Buster sword into the dirt below as he whirled around to check on Cloud. 

“Cloud?” He asked in panic.

He could see the older blonde collecting the sword he threw, looking as pissed off as he could be. Zack saw Tifa running. 

Zack couldn’t focus on Yuffie and Barret screeching as he brought his hand to jostle Cloud’s shoulder.

“Cloud.” He called again as Tifa caught up to his side. 

He heard the exhausted hum Cloud gave. 

“Tifa?” He muttered. 

He looked at Tifa. “Can you hold him?” He questioned. 

Tifa immediately nodded. He saw the panic on her face. It was probably just as clear as it was on his face. She ducked under his arms to slide in between them, as soon as Zack felt she had him, he moved to make room for her.

The reaction from Cloud was instantaneous. 

Cloud suddenly moved to wrap his arms around her, and his head ducked into her shoulder. 

The shaky intake of breath, then the continuous quiet calling of her name. 

“It’s okay. I’m okay. We’re okay. He’s gone.” Tifa answered easily, one of her arms wrapped around his middle and one hand in his hair.

While Cloud might have been able to do that much, Zack could tell everything else was off limits, he could tell in the subtle trembling his friend was doing as he valiantly held himself (and Tifa) up. 

He turned to his older friend. 

“The hell was that.” He demanded as he pulled out the Buster sword and easily put it on its magnetic strap. Cloud could have it back when the wind wouldn’t blow him over. 

He noted the scowl on the older blonde’s face, and the glare he still had at where Sephiroth had been. 

Zack pointed to where Sephiroth had been. 

“Is that normal?” Zack demanded heatedly, angry. 

“Yes.” Adult Cloud answered. 

He couldn’t help but stare, incredulously. He wasn’t the only one.

“That—?! Could you see him just then?” Zack asked. Trying and failing not to get enraged.

Adult Cloud shook his head. 

“Not until you did. Usual.” He replied easily.

Zack couldn’t help but blink. Seeing Sephiroth was normal for him? Is that how it worked?

He couldn’t help but look back at his shaken friend, in worry. 

Cloud could barely stand, how could he held accountable for killing Sephiroth again.

Zack couldn’t even do it the first time. He knew the man behind him had taken Sephiroth down at least three times, but seeing Cloud now? He didn’t know how he could.

“But why just him?” Zack couldn’t help but ask. 

“Scare factor.” Adult Cloud answered easily. 

Zack looked back to him, knowing everyone was listening. 

He watched as the older blonde shrugged one shoulder. “His previous tactic of alienating him? He’s probably realised it hasn’t worked now.” He added. 

Zack frowned. “Alienating you? Why?” He asked. 

He watched as his older friend jerked his head at the two. 

“That’s all he needs. Remove Tifa and you won’t like the results.” He warned. 

Zack knew how that ended. Was that how the Black Materia ended up in Sephiroth’s hands? Suddenly it made sense. All the way through, he must have been seeding doubts about Tifa into his head. An easier way in.

This version of them, that estrangement, hadn’t worked.

Zack watched as his friend, clinging to consciousness, was clinging physically to Tifa. 

He was thankful that Tifa didn’t seem to mind it, all for it, she was giving every bit back he gave her. It would have been cute, had the circumstances, and the fact she was silently crying, been different. 

He could remember how ditsy Cloud got over trying to tell him why he couldn’t remove his helmet. Cute.

“Alright…” Zack muttered, then looked back to the older blonde. “What now, then?” He questioned. 

Give him orders to follow, over making them any day. He was never really ever good at making them.

Zack noted the thoughtful look he got. “Cosmo Canyon.” He elaborated easily.

He had been around Cloud long enough to wait for the SSL. There, a second later, came the gestures, like usual. 

What he was saying silently was they were to continue onwards to Cosmo Canyon.

Zack nodded and went back to his friend and Tifa.

“Tifa?” He called. 

She looked to him teary-eyed. 

“He’s not answering me.” She trembled. 

He nodded. “Lemme see.” He requested. 

Tifa nodded and moved. 

He had to round them to see Cloud from the other side. 

“He’s unconscious.” Zack reported. 

“He’s heavy.” Tifa muttered, affronted that she couldn’t hold him up for much longer. 

“I can take him.” Zack suggested. 

At her nodding, he unhooked his Buster sword, once more slamming into the dirt. Damn, he could hear Angeal now, screeching about wear and tear, and the fact the man would whoop his ass for harming the sword. Zack would screech back at how Cloud was way more important than the Buster Sword. 

But once he did, Zack was moving to take his friend, easily hoisting him back onto his back with familial ease he remembered from the year on the run. 

At least this time, Cloud wasn’t trembling head to toe, wasting away in addiction, or muttering nonsensically. This time, he was just so truly exhausted that he couldn’t stay awake.

Zack heard his older friend before he saw him. 

“Here,” He called. Zack looked up to see the man pulling out the Buster sword, and putting it with Fusion at his back. “Hang back with Tifa until we get to Cosmo Canyon.” He asked. 

Zack nodded. He would be in no position to fight with his friend unconscious, with people around him to help, he wouldn’t need to put him down in a hurry to protect them both. 

But with the many of Cloud’s friends around, they’d be alright. 

Hang back, didn’t exactly mean at the back, Zack learnt extremely early on. 

Like, as soon as they started walking, soon.

Hang back, meant to be in the middle. The older blonde taking up guard in front. 

His wife with their kid on his left, Tifa and Aerith on his right. 

With Barret and Yuffie behind him. With Red and Cait circling.

At any sign of trouble, Zack felt the barriers fall on him and Cloud. Denzel taking a step closer to him, if his mother needed to punch something.

Not that trouble stuck around for long. The older blonde hadn’t deemed fit to return his sword to its holster alongside the Buster since the first fiend decided to accost them from beneath the sands they walked on.

If it wasn’t the sword coming down on the multiple enemies in sections at the first glance. Then it was a powerful elemental weakness summoned by the multitude of at-the-ready gleaming powerful pieces of materia fused into his sword and armour.

Whichever came first. Zack knew the barrier stayed and was renewed whenever the spell wore off.

It was a bittersweet kind of pride that came over Zack.

If SOLDIER hadn’t dissolved into what it did, thanks to Hojo and Holland, this is what he had seen in Cloud when they hadn’t. Why he demanded before they left for Nibelheim they test him again on their return, on him becoming his mentor until then. He remembered the massive argument he had over Cloud not being suitable due to the selective muteness he did under duress sometimes.

His friend was the best they had, and screw them for not seeing it. 

Screw Hojo for what he did to him.

What he couldn’t make sense of, was how Sephiroth could get only Cloud to see him? Zack could barely sense him while it was happening.

And that whatever he did to make it so, made Cloud drop like ten flies once he was gone.

Maybe he needed to use up the living to come through?

Eh. Sounded sort of right. He’d ask his older friend when they were safely at Cosmo Canyon. 

It was taking a long time to reach Cosmo Canyon. 

Tifa felt like she was on tenterhooks. 

She couldn’t help but glance at Cloud every five seconds. 

He hadn’t moved, unless Zack had hoisted him back up his back, which he sometimes needed to do after they needed to stop and fight.

But other than that, he was unconscious. 

If there was any consolidation was that with the way Zack had him on his back, everyone could easily see his limp hands hanging over his shoulders. 

Swaying with any movement Zack made. 

Not trembling like Tifa knew he could sometimes do in his sleep.

It was the only consolidation. He wasn’t in pain.

The Cosmo Canyon finally appeared over a ridge some hours later.

They were glad for it, since the sun was starting to set. And it was making them anxious.

“Nanaki.” Adult Cloud started. 

Red paused and looked up at him in question.

“Mind going on ahead and explaining the situation, who we are, and that we need to stay at Shildra’s inn?” He questioned. 

Red nodded eagerly, then took off up the hill and out of sight.

They could guess that Cosmo Canyon was near enough that they wouldn’t need to fight. 

They were wrong. 

Still, several fiends decided to ambush them out of the sands, and were immediately met with either lightning to the face, or being burnt to a crisp.

It really depended on which type of fiend they came to note easily. 

By the time they reached the bridge into Cosmo Canyon, Red was no longer there, not that they minded. 

The guard at the mouth of the village rose his arm up in welcome. 

“You must be Nanaki’s friends!” He said happily, then bowed. “He told us all about you, we will show you to Shildra’s, but allow me to thank you for bringing him back safe and sound!” The man said, gratefully. 

But, thankfully, the man didn’t seem to linger, and showed them to a guide.

Who similarly bowed to them, and eagerly showed the way as the sun set.

They took up the rest of the inn’s free rooms with their size, with people bunking together here and there.

They didn’t mind, at least this time, even if they shared they all got a proper bed. 

It was one of the smaller rooms that was the first one Zack came across, and gently lowered Cloud onto the sole bed, with Tifa racing around the bed to help, catching Cloud’s head when gravity took him easily. 

“Whoa!” Zack yelped when Cloud slipped. 

“I have him!” Tifa answered in relief at catching him this time. 

Zack hummed in gratitude, knowing he finally had help.

“Tifa,” Adult Cloud called. 

Tifa looked to make sure whether he was calling her, with him looking at her, and tossing a potion, she could assume he meant her. 

At least she knew what to do. 

She heard Zack’s questioning hum. “Helps with mako poisoning.” Tifa added. 

At this, Zack lit up and started to help.

Chapter Text

Left within, it’s hiding inside. This power searching. Aim to face beyond. Approaching closer. I’ve been waiting for this notion. Situation set, my heart is racin’, I see that you’re that chosen opponent. It’s not your day, is it? Opportunity rolls in when action starts, this body’s movin’. Swallow down all cruel and hopeless fate, graspin’ my mission inside this world, I take this step. Spill forth, discharge and rampage. Step into my view, stand in my way, I’ll demolish what’s in front of me. Capabilities unseen. Rising force, empowered, escalates. Every spiral of my energy: You’ve seen only fractions of this play, going far, I can go where I say.

— Void Chord & L (Capabilities Unseen)

29. Capabilities Unseen

As soon as they had Cloud settled, Zack groaned and fell against the floor beneath him, with his arms above his head.

“Seriously.” The dark haired ex-SOLDIER muttered tiredly. “I wasn’t expecting to carry you so soon again, Cloud.” He added in worry.

“Zack?”

Zack opened his eyes and looked up to see Aerith and Tifa looking down at him in worry. 

He grinned tiredly. “Give me a sec. Not complaining.” He said reassuringly.

Zack, for all intents and purposes, had just come from a year on the run and had fought the entirety of the ShinRa army. He won, but he vaguely knew there were so many versions of him which hadn’t.

He needed a second.

Two minutes later they were jumping out the way when he pulled his legs up and flew up to standing.

“All good!” He cheered. Zack looked at the older blonde, who seemed to be distracted by his kid, taking the goggles off that he had rushed to put on before they got anywhere near Cosmo Canyon. He could see why, with the dim mako in his eyes, it would be necessary in a time when Geostigma hadn’t been a thing. “Hey, Cloud?” He questioned. 

He looked at him curiously, blinked before reaching out for the Buster sword, to give over. 

Zack grinned at in gratitude, putting the sword back on his back, not minding the miscommunication. “Thanks, but not my question.” He added. 

They watched as Adult Cloud sided his head thoughtfully, then looked to Denzel. 

“You remember the bridge we crossed?” He asked. 

Denzel nodded, and eagerly caught the goggles being tossed. “Don’t cross it.” He warned.

“Yes!” Denzel cried happily, giving his father a quick hug then jumping off the chair his father put him on, slammed the glasses on his head and zoomed out the door.

Zack blinked, astonished for the jubilation the kid had to wonder. 

“Why’s he so happy?” He asked, getting sidetracked easily. 

“He was raised in Midgar, he had a curfew and stricter parents than we are.” Adult Cloud muttered. 

Zack paused, and crossed his arms in confusion. “How is what you’re doing any different?” He asked, genuinely curious.

He shrugged, Mom Tifa giggled. 

“Denzel said he had to be back home by sundown by his biological parents, and that he needed to have all homework done the day he got them.” He answered. 

Zack blew a raspberry. “Downers.” He muttered. 

The older blonde snorted. “The difference between city dwellers and us backwaters, I guess.” He said. 

Zack grinned at the fact the older blonde remembered the comment. 

“But seriously? Is he any worse off?” Zack asked. 

Mom Tifa laughed easily. “Oh, you could climb a mountain with how much hero worship Denzel has with Cloud, I swear.” She said merrily. 

They watched as the blonde frowned. 

“I didn’t lessen the curfew because I thought it would give me brownie points. I saw no need for it. We had no need for it growing up, just realistic expectations. Be home for dinner. Go to bed on school nights. Don’t go across the bridge up to Mount. Nibel at any time without parental supervision.” He reasoned. “… Though, we did break that last one, once.” He added, sounding sheepish.

He still couldn’t see the difference.

“And the fact you consulted with me about it as well.” Mom Tifa added. 

They watched his face scrunch up in confusion as he pulled out his Fusion sword to lean against the wall. 

“Why wouldn’t I? You raise him more than I do, and you’re home more often than I am.” He argued, crossing his arms with confusion. 

Zack saw his mirrored grin for blackmail was on Barret’s face as he looked around the room they found themselves in. Yuffie had bolted after Denzel, seeing permission to leave in the tone. Red was still missing, Cait was probably turned off, leaning against the wall. Aerith had made her way to stand next to him easily, while Tifa was taking in the conversation eagerly as she was silently.

“From talking with parents about Denzel and Marlene? I can tell you it’s different, and the look of awe I get when I say half the things you do? I get it. I’m appalled that the parents of Edge can survive on one parent being the sole guardian.” She said, easily. 

They saw the appal wash over the older blonde’s face. 

“No.” He made a disgusted noise. “Tried that. Hated not helping physically.” He was referring to Geostigma. When he hadn’t been around. Then he blinked in confusion. “Wait, you talk to the other parents?” He asked, his train of thought completely gone. 

There was a humoured snort from Mom Tifa. 

“Apparently you’re intimidating, with or without Fenrir, Cloud.” She answered with a smile. 

“And you’re not?” While he might have muttered it, they all heard him. 

Ah. Zack couldn’t help but snort. A healthy dose of fear for the other was good. 

“I’m…not good at that.” He said, a little louder. 

Yeah. Cloud had never been good at talking to people. 

Mom Tifa shrugged. “I didn’t marry you based whether you could talk to others, Cloud.” She gently scolded.

Oh yeah, they were married. 

Zack really couldn’t help the grin on his face at the banter he had missed out on.

“Oh.” Mom Tifa started, sounding as if she just realised something. “Both of us have an appointment with his teacher tomorrow…?” She paled and looked at Zack. “Is time moving while we’re here?” She screeched in panic.

He found himself blinking. “Nah. Other Me can send you back seconds after you left, don’t worry.” He consoled. 

Mom Tifa sighed in relief. 

While so, her husband frowned. 

“Appointment? What for?” He questioned, a slow creep of concern rising in his voice. “Does Marlene?” He asked. 

Mom Tifa hummed. “End of term is coming up soon, so apparently we need to be appraised of where they’re at, and going forward.” She answered. “With this,” She gestured around them. “All going on. I completely forgot.” She apologised. Fair. 

Zack nearly snorted at the blasé shrug he gave her, uncaring. 

“Eh. Happens. What time? And shouldn’t we tell Barret?” He asked.

He looked at Aerith when he heard her cute, besotted giggle. “They get like this.” She muttered quietly to him. “It’s cute, they forget we’re here.” She added. 

Zack grinned to know he had a hand in it. 

Mom Tifa was shaking her head. 

“Barret said he’d be coming later tonight, uh, before we left? He’d take the bed in your office, if you don’t mind.” She questioned. 

“I’m not using it.” He answered with another shrug that spelled he didn’t mind.

“Is it clean?” She asked, warningly.

They watched eagerly as the tone registered, then the thoughtful look on his face. 

“Cleaned it recently?” He muttered. “I’ll make sure to when we get back.” He promised.

The grin on her face told everyone he had said the right thing. Thankfully.

Zack snorted, and he must have heard it. 

“You have something to add, Zack?” He asked. 

He tried really hard not to grin when he heard the warning tone used with the glare. 

“Nope! Just wanted to know if we should go find Red? Or Nanaki? What’re we calling him currently?” Zack asked. 

The man blinked.

“You go. We’ll stay.” He intoned. 

Zack saluted. “Got it!” He cheered, then made sure the Buster sword was still on his back, he paused when Tifa stepped up. 

“What about Cloud? Will he be alright?” She asked in concern.

They watched as both of them looked to the younger blonde. 

“He’ll be fine. He doesn’t know when to pause.” He intoned, knowing he was incriminating himself. 

Mom Tifa huffed in amusement, and he turned to her. “Yeah. I know, I still don’t know how to, Tifa!” He answered almost heatedly.