Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Anyway, be a good boy, finish your homework, and be in bed by nine. And hey! Please tell the big man I said… 'hello,'” Joker says, voice dangerously low. Then he cackles as he slams the door on the warehouse and disappears into the night. 

Jason whimpers on the ground, pain coursing through his entire body. And god, he’s cold. He’s so cold. He’s broken, and beaten, and bleeding. And now he has two dead mothers. He almost wishes the bitch could have seen what her decision did to him, but she’s in the warehouse somewhere, long dead. 

But he refuses to give up. Robin doesn’t give up. Robin fights to the end. Jason rips off his destroyed mask and lets it fall to the ground. He can do this.

His entire body shakes as he pushes himself onto hands and knees. He drags himself towards the door, ignoring the pain trying to stop him in his tracks. 

His arms fail him and he collapses, face slamming into the concrete. He screams in pain and frustration, and then chokes on his own breath at the sudden burning pain from his ribs. 

He starts hyperventilating as the pain of breathing makes him start crying, which makes the pain worsen, and it’s just a horrible feedback loop of misery. 

“No. Get up,” he whimpers, “you promised him.” Jason drags himself forward with his arms, ignoring the urge to scream. 

It’s slow. It’s so god damn slow, but he keeps going, regardless of the tears of agony streaming down his face. 

Finally, finally, he hits the door. He reaches up wearily to grab the handle and pulls it down. Thank god. He pushes against the door and it starts to move… and then stops. 

“No,” Jason whines, “no, god, please.” He's… he's gonna die here. Fuck, he's gonna die.

The door is yanked open from the outside and Jason falls forward. Why is he back? Hasn't he done enough? “No, no just kill me please stop please just let me die just let me d-”

He falls into arms that are… too small to be the Joker’s.

“It’s not him, Jay! It's me, it's Tim.”

Jason raises his head and- “Robin?” Tim’s in Dick's suit, sans mask.

“Stole it. Talk later. Batman’s on the way. Gotta get you out. Can you stand on either leg?”

“Right.”

“Arm?”

“Same.”

“Ok. This’ll hurt. I'm sorry.” Tim hugs him and Jason sobs at the pain in his chest and his ribs. “I'm so sorry!” He starts lifting up and Jason can feel his arms shaking from the strain. “Frack you're heavy.”

Jason smiles despite his pained tears because Tim's geeky side is still shining through, even now. 

Tim manages to wrangle him into a standing position. Jason screams when his definitely broken left leg touches the ground and he lifts it back up. His right foot is burning horribly but he’s pretty sure it's just a sprain. 

“Lift your arm.”

Jason whimpers as he does, and Tim ducks under it and presses against his side, wrapping an arm tightly around him. 

“Ok this is- we can make it work. I think I can support you while you hop. Let's go.” 

“Trying,” Jason says through gritted teeth. Tim starts moving, and though excruciating it's slightly effective. The tears won't cease because every single motion is the worst pain he’s ever felt in his entire life, but at least they're moving away from the warehouse and the bomb. Jason didn't see a bomb but it's the only reason Tim would be moving him in his current state.

“You’re doing… great, Jason,” Tim encourages, voice strained from exertion. 

“S-saved… m-me, Babybird.”

“What's… a best friend… for?” he chuckles, breathing heavily. 

“My h-hero.”

“Please… don't swoon… heavy enough… as is.”

“I'll try… Robin.”

“Heh, just… for tonight. Almost… there… few more… seconds.”

“Are we g-gonna make it?”

“Yeah! Probably. …maybe.”

After a few more hops, Tim starts lowering them to the ground. Jason cries out in pain.

“I know, I'm sorry, gotta protect you from shrapnel.” Tim gets him onto his back and rolls him onto his side. “Please forgive me. Tuck your head.” 

Tim pushes Jason into the fetal position and he shrieks as his vision whites out in agony. He tucks his head as he trembles and sobs. He feels Tim protectively curling around his upper body and pressing a hand against his ear. Jason moves his own hand to cover Tim’s ear. He closes his eyes.

There's a loud boom and a burst of heat. Tim is shoved even further against Jason and he’s forced onto his back, with Tim sprawled over half of him and suddenly much, much heavier and it hurts even more. All Jason can see is the smoky, firelit sky and Tim’s mop of black hair.

“Any new injuries?” Tim says with a cough.

“No,” Jason whimpers.

“Same. But, uh. There's a piece of the warehouse on my back, a-and I'm not… I'm not strong enough to move it. We’re pinned until help arrives.”

Explains the weight. 

“A-and I smell smoke. Where's your rebreather?”

“Right hip,” Jason quietly sobs, “It hurts, fuck it hurts, fuck.”

He feels Tim’s left hand on his right side, unlatching a belt pouch and grabbing out the rebreather. “Oh.” Tim whispers, voice pitched high.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing at all. Just didn't expect them to be so… light. I love you, Jason Peter Todd-Wayne.” Tim presses his lips to Jason’s cheek, and they're quivering for some reason.

“Love… y’ too. You have one too, right?”

“C-course.”

Tim's hand comes up and the rebreather nudges at his lips. Jason opens his mouth and bites down on the device to activate it. 

“Ok, putting mine in,” Tim says, “gonna hug your head so your mouth stays closed if you pass out, ok?”Jason moves his eyes to look down and Tim has a rebreather in his mouth too. He smiles at Jason and then shifts, hugging his head so he can't open his jaw and thus have the rebreather deactivate.

Jason's vision is already going black at the edges from probably exhaustion and shock. Tim's idea to hug his head is smart because he's losing consciousness and quickly. He feels Tim’s trembling fingers tangle in his hair. The last thing he notices is a tiny drop onto his forehead and a whispered ‘not your fault. I forgive you' as it all fades away.

Jason's eyes slowly peel open and he hisses. Bright. Where… is he? Everything's bit… foggy. Medical? Pain. “Fuck,” he gasps, an awful sound, eyes snapping open.

“Squeeze your hands, Little Wing,” a voice rasps.

“Di’?” He murmurs, turning his head towards safety. Something clicks in one hand and a warmth envelops the other and squeezes back. “Y' hm?” 

Dick leans up and presses a firm kiss to Jason’s forehead. “I am. I love you, Jason.”

“L'v y’ t’” he slurs. Pain… leaving. “Ti’?”

“Tim's… at rest, sweetheart,” Dick murmurs, voice weird.

“Goo’. ‘zerves nap.” He drifts off.

Jason groans, skimming consciousness. Warm side. Nuzzles.

“‘s nice,” Jason mumbles, something in his hair. A hand?

Jason's eyes open halfway, and he sees Bruce in a chair at his bedside. “Dad?” he rasps. 

The man looks up and smiles. “Hi honey.” He leans forward and kisses Jason's forehead, making him smile back.

A gentle, warm voice is reading something… about cats? A poem? He blinks open his eyes and Alfred is at his bedside in his bedroom, reading aloud from a book.

“Alfie?”

The older man holds up a finger to silently shush him as he finishes the poem. Jason can't help but chuckle.

“...For the Jellicle Moon and the Jellicle Ball,” Alfred finishes before gently closing the book and setting it on the side table. “Hello there, dear boy.”

“’s goin’ on?”

“You're coming out of a medically induced coma, lad. It let us boost your healing, allowing you to recover faster.”

“Oh. Thanks. ‘m sorry I ran away. I in trouble?”

“No. There's no need to punish you,“ Alfred sighs, sounding exhausted.

“Cool. Byebye.” Jason’s eyes slip closed as he slumps back in his bed, feeling like he's forgetting something as he drifts back off.

Jason opens his eyes and feels a warmth plastered along his side and an arm slung over his stomach. He looks down and his big brother is wrapped around him from the side, sleeping peacefully.

“Dick,” he murmurs, grinning and nudging him with an elbow.

“Shh, ‘m s’eepin’,” he mumbles. 

“Dickiiiiie.”

“Shu’ up Li’ Wing.” Dick's brow furrows and then his eyes slowly peel open. “Wh- Jay! You're awake!” The hug tightens and Jason’s breath hitches in anticipation of the searing pain from his chest but it's little more than a twinge of discomfort.

“Missed you. Please don't leave that long again.”

“I promise,” Dick says, voice breaking, “I'm never leaving you ever again. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” he sobs quietly.

“Oh god, Dick, it's fine! Please don't cry, I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry,” Jason murmurs frantically, moving his arms to hug his brother back. “It's alright Dickie.” 

“It's not,” Dick cries, “it's not, it's not. It's never gonna be ok.”

What is going on? “Dick… did… did we l-lose a Titan?”

“No! No, we won. Tamaran is safe,” Dick sniffles, “It’s not that.”

Jason sighs in relief and closes his eyes, snuggling up to his brother, suddenly exhausted. “Tell me… later. ‘m really… tired now.”

"Ok Jay, just rest,” Dick whispers, trembling as Jason succumbs to the dark again. 

Jason wakes again and his mouth feels bone dry. He sits up with a weak groan and rubs his face tiredly. A body shifts on the bed beside him and he looks over at it. It's Dick again.

His brother's eyes slowly open. “You're sittin’ up,” he mumbles, voice rough from sleep.

“Tada,” Jason rasps, giving him extremely unenthusiastic jazz hands.

Dick smiles and sits up beside him. “Can I get you anything?”

“Water.”

“Be right back,” Dick slips off the bed and walks to the bathroom, stretching his arms as he goes.

Jason wonders why Tim hasn’t come to see him yet. He kinda expected him to be glued to his side to be perfectly honest. Maybe he's just upset and blaming himself? Yeah, that kinda sounds like him.

Dick comes back out with a small glass of water and walks up to Jason. “Easy, ok? Just small sips. Your body is gonna need to readjust to actually drinking again.” He moves the glass to Jason’s mouth and just barely tips it for him. 

Jason takes a few sips and swallows. He nearly moans in relief at the cool liquid running down his throat. Dick moves the glass to the side table and sets it down. “Better?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Course,” Dick says, gently sitting down beside Jason and wrapping a trembling arm around him. 

“Dick?” Jason asks softly. 

“Yeah?”

“Why hasn't Tim come to see me? I've seen you, and dad, and Alf. Is he mad at me?” Jason's eyes water. He just wants his best friend to hug him. And he wants to thank him for saving his life.

“Fuck,” Dick whispers, “ok. Shit, god.” He takes Jason's hand and winds their fingers together. It immediately sets off alarms in Jason’s head. Dick usually only curls his hand around Jason’s palm if he wants to comfort him. So this? This is bad. Something is very, very wrong. Dick's thumb soothingly rubs back and forth over the back of Jason’s hand.

“Dick, where is Babybird?”

“Do you want it sugar coated or brutally honest?”

“Second.”

“Tim died, Jason."

Jason's blood turns ice cold. “Wh-what? No, that's… no. Why would you joke about that?!” he growls, glaring at his brother. 

“I wouldn't,” Dick sobs quietly, “I would never do that to you.” Tears are flowing freely from his big brother’s eyes.

“No! How, he, he was right there, he had a rebreather. It's not… it's not possible!”

“The rebreather was b-broken. The smoke… he suffocated. Batman performed CPR for twenty minutes on the way home but it was too late.”

“Why was there a broken rebreather in your fucking suit Dick?!”

Dick sobs harder. “There wasn't!”

“Huh?”

“The one in my belt was functional. Yours b-broke during Joker’s attack.”

“B-but he grabbed mine first to give me? I don't understand!”

“Wh-when Batman found you, my rebreather was in your mouth. Yours was beside Tim. He… he s-swapped them t-to save you.”

A fleeting memory suddenly hits Jason hard, in the form of Tim’s quiet, whispered words. 

‘Not your fault. I forgive you.’ Tim knew he was gonna die. He chose to die for Jason.

“No! No, no no no, no no nononononono.” Jason turns, collapses into his big brother's chest, and screams.

Chapter Text

There's a loud boom and a burst of heat. Something hits Tim's back, and it shoves him even further against Jason, who rolls to his back from the force, with Tim sprawled over half of him and feeling something heavy pressed against him. Piece of the warehouse? Probably. Tim tries to push up from the ground but it's just too damn heavy. They're stuck.

Well, there are certainly worse spots to be stuck than pressed against Jason’s front. It would be nice if he could actually feel his body heat. Dumb kevlar. Admittedly it would also be nice if Jason wasn't shaking and sobbing from being brutally beaten by a psychopath.

“Any new injuries?” Tim says with a cough. 

“No,” Jason whimpers.

Oh thank god. “Same. But, uh. There's a piece of the warehouse on my back, a-and I'm not… I'm not strong enough to move it. We’re pinned until help arrives.” Luckily Batman should be close by now. “A-and I smell smoke. Where's your rebreather?” Last thing Jason needs is to be rescued and then promptly asphyxiate.

“Right hip,” Jason quietly sobs, “It hurts, fuck it hurts, fuck.” His sobs tear at Tim's heart which is already far too weak for the broken guy underneath him. 

Tim moves his left hand to Jason’s right hip and feels for the pouch release- there it is. He unlatches it and pulls out the rebreather before looking it over. There's-

“Oh.” Tim whispers, voice pitched high in fear. There's a massive crack in it. He's almost certain it won't work, and immediately knows what that means for himself, who isn't nearly as important as Robin, Batman’s light.

“What's wrong?” Jason asks, being his stupid caring self even while crying in pain. God, like it’s even a choice?  

Well… he could pretend he didn't know better and give it to Jason who probably won't notice and Tim can use Dick’s for himself so he doesn't have to probably fracking die. Physically, anyway. Jason dying would kill him on the inside. Yeah, Tim would much rather die than live in a world without Jason. And that's a very likely possibility. It's fine, it's worth it. Jason will always be worth it.

“Nothing at all,” he lies, “Just didn't expect them to be so… light.” He needs to say goodbye, needs to tell Jason what he means to him. “I love you, Jason Peter Todd-Wayne.” Tim presses his quivering lips to Jason’s cheek. Still worth it.

“Love… y’ too. You have one too, right?” Still worrying about others, worrying about Tim, even now.

“C-course,” Tim stammers, reaching for his own right hip to pull out Dick’s rebreather, which appears to be in perfect condition. He moves both arms up and swaps the devices behind Jason’s head. With his left hand, he nudges the functioning rebreather against Jason's lips, wishing everything was fine and he was nudging their lips together instead. His eyes burn but he refuses to cry in front of Jason and scare him, or worse, risk him finding out what Tim did and forcing him to take the working one.

Jason opens his mouth and bites down on the device to activate it. 

“Ok, putting mine in,” Tim says, “gonna hug your head so your mouth stays closed if you pass out, ok?” He puts the broken rebreather in his mouth and bites down. It doesn't work and Tim suppresses a sob. Jason moves his eyes to look down, probably to make sure Tim has his rebreather. Tim forces himself to give him a calm, relaxed smile, even if it's likely his last. Jason sags in relief.

Tim shifts his position and hugs his best friend’s head so he can't open his jaw and thus deactivate the rebreather. It seems like Jason’s already losing consciousness. Shock, probably. Tim tangles trembling fingers into Jason’s soft, jet-black hair for the last time. This is worth it. It is. 

He lets the rebreather fall from his mouth. Jason’s gonna be so pissed at him. Tim tightly closes his eyes. Probably gonna blame himself. He feels a tear escape his eye and roll down his cheek. “Not your fault. I forgive you.” Jason will get over it, he will.

Jason's breathing levels out. Asleep. Probably in far too much shock to be woken back up anytime soon, so Tim lets himself lose it. He sobs into Jason’s hair.

“I-I’m scared Jay, I'm so fucking scared, p-please, I don't wanna die! Wanted tell- just w-wanted- too afraid- know I'm just a kid- think I’m- think- think I'm i-in love with y-you? I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm s-so sorry!”

And now he's pretty sure he never will. God, there's so much that Tim still wanted to do - Jason was gonna take him to Disney World. 

And maybe Tim would've finally gotten the nerve to tell him and maybe they would’ve kissed and lived happily ever after like a cheesy movie and they would be each other’s first and Jason would be tender and gentle, arms wrapped protectively around him and saying his name in a way that no one else gets to hear and Tim would fracking cry over it and Jason would probably lovingly tease him while wiping his own eyes like a hypocrite and they'd laugh about it.

And they could have a renovated brownstone downtown that was all theirs with a dog and cat and two kids and niblings from Dick and Wally. Maybe even grandkids one day. But instead, Tim’s gonna die and Jason’s still gonna have all of those things come true, but with someone else and he's gonna forget about Tim altogether and, and- 

“I wanted everything with you,” Tim weeps, “i-if I make it out I'll t-tell you. I promise. But I don't- Jason, I don't th-think I'm gonna… I'm… I'm already tired…”

Is there a heaven? Or some kind of afterlife? That would be nice. He could find the Graysons, and tell them how amazing and sweet and good their son is. And maybe even… oh. He could find Catherine. He could tell her that her son became a fracking superhero and saved Tim from his crappy life and the past six months have been the best of his life and that Jason learned the truth but still loves her and has their picture in his room and still has Bagheera and that he has a family that adores him and has the best brother in the world and the coolest dad and an amazing grandfather and that he's happy and has so many friends and he even has a goddaughter, and good lord is he handsome. Yeah, he’ll tell her all about him. 

“Don' wanna go,” he sobs weakly, “wanna stay- wanna stay with you. ‘s not fair. So… tired…” 

It's getting harder to stay awake, harder to breathe, and he just wants to go to sleep.

“Thanks for, f-for everything. I…” Tim lowers his head to press his lips firmly against Jason’s temple. A muffled sob shakes through him before he pulls his lips back. “I l-love you. So… so m-much. Thanks f-for… l-letting me… be your h-hero… Robin. Cause you were… m-mine. I'm s-s-sorry I'm… leaving. But it's… you're w-worth it. You'll… always… be worth it. Just… p-please- please don't… don't f-forget me,” Tim whimpers. “Ok… ‘m gonna…. go now.”

He's almost certain the rebreather won't work but… surely it couldn't be worse than not using it.

“Thank… again. I’ll… say hey… for ya. Bye… Jason.” He puts the broken rebreather in his mouth and bites down on it. He keeps slowly carding his fingers through Jason’s hair as his body shakes with silent cries. Least he gets to go out as a hero. Totally worth it. Hopefully Jason isn't too upset...

Tim closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Jason’s head. Just like falling asleep. All he has to do is go to sleep and… well, die. He's gonna die. He sobs around the rebreather and his eyes flow freely because he really doesn't wanna fucking die but it doesn't matter. 

The pull of unconsciousness is strong and Tim just lets it come. It's inevitable anyway. He thinks about Jason’s warm arms holding him close, whispering that he's got him, calling him Babybird, promising he'll be ok. He lets the imaginary words pull him under.

And then Tim Drake falls asleep for the last time.

Chapter Text

Dick steps through the Zeta into the Batcave and takes a deep breath. Ah. Home sweet home. Oh, he can't wait to hug his baby brother. And his dad, and Alfred, and Timmy. Sweet, precious, adorable little Timmy who absolutely stole Dick's heart - in the most platonic way possible.

He hums happily to himself as he heads for the stairs, passing by the suit displays and pausing at something… odd. It's the middle of the night, yet Bruce and Jason’s suits are still hanging up when they should definitely be patrolling. (Dick’s isn't, obviously. It's still at the Tower.) But even weirder still is that there's a fourth suit display, with Dick's Robin suit, fully enclosed in glass. It almost looks like a memorial. Dick starts feeling uneasy.

He keeps walking, but slower now, anxious. The light from the infirmary is shining brightly, which means it's occupied. He hurries over and steps inside, chest aching at the sight. He pulls off his backpack and sets it down against the wall. 

“Oh, Little Wing, what happened to you?” Dick whispers, walking up to his visibly battered baby brother, covered in bruises, one arm and one leg in a cast, and an IV in his hand, a bag of what looks like simple fluids trickling down the line into Jason. The heart monitor is beeping slowly - but steadily. 

What the hell happened?

Dick affectionately cards his fingers through Jason’s hair and bends down to kiss his forehead.

“Why isn't Timmy here with you?” Dick quietly wonders aloud. It's extremely strange that the young boy isn't plastered to Jason’s side. Is he alright? Dick sighs. He takes Jason’s hand and sits down in the chair that's been pulled right up to the hospital bed. “I'm home, Jay, I'm home. Please tell me you'll be ok, c-cause I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so m-much.”

He hears footsteps in the distance, rapidly approaching. Running? Dick stands right as Bruce bursts through the doorway. His dad freezes for a couple seconds and then they're both moving quickly into a hug. “Thank god you're ok,” Bruce rasps, sounding choked up.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too sweetheart,” Bruce murmurs, kissing the top of his head, “God, so much.”

“Is he gonna be ok? What happened? Where's- oh my god!” Dick laughs as Bruce lets him go just to scoop him up into a cradle carry. “I'm not injured, you know.”

“Can't a dad just wanna carry his kid?” Bruce chuckles, beginning to walk out of the infirmary.

“Sure, B,” Dick smiles, laying his head against his dad’s shoulder and letting his eyes rest.

Bruce momentarily lifts him a little higher and kisses his forehead. He's being more affectionate and clingy than normal, which isn't a complaint but is worrying.

“It's really bad, isn't it?” Dick whispers, opening his eyes. 

Bruce's eyes are shimmering with tears as he starts up the stairs to his study. “Yes. But Jason will recover.”

“Thank god.”

“Jason ran away to find his mother.”

“Yeah?”

“She was a doctor in Ethiopia, working at a refugee camp.”

“Was?” Dick whispers. He doesn't like the past tense.

Bruce nods. “So he found her, but turns out she was embezzling from her aid organization.”

“Crap.”

“Yep. And then she was blackmailed,” Bruce continues as he enters his study. He carefully sets Dick down on the couch and then sits down beside him. 

“Who?”

“Joker.”

“Oh fuck.”

“So she sold out Jason.”

“What the hell?!”

“Who still tried to save her.”

“Sometimes I hate how much he cares,” Dick mutters. 

“Didn't matter, Joker shot her dead when Robin showed up and then proceeded to tie Jason up and beat him senseless with a crowbar.”

“God, Jason.”

“And then locked him in a warehouse with a time bomb. Except what the Joker didn't realize was that Tim had stolen your suit and followed Jason. Tim called and told me the situation and I headed out immediately in the Batplane.”

“Tim got to be Robin?” Dick smiles.

“Yeah,” Bruce sighs. “Tim got Jason out. He saved his life,” he says as he starts quietly crying.

“That's a good thing… right?”

Bruce shakes his head. “When I got there, the warehouse had already exploded. Tim was covering Jason and they were trapped under a piece of metal siding, and there was a lot of fire, and smoke. Tim was hugging Jason’s head to keep the rebreather in his mouth activated. He was unconscious, but breathing and he had a steady pulse.”

“And Timmy?” Dick whispers, gut twisting.

Bruce lets out a tiny sob. “He didn't make it.”

“What? No. Are you saying, are…” Dick starts crying, “Tim?”

“He had a broken rebreather beside him. I carried the boys to the plane and started CPR on Tim. I tried with everything I had, for twenty minutes, but he never woke up. When I stopped, I realized something even worse.”

“How could it get worse?”

“Tim had Jason’s rebreather, Jay had yours. There's no way he would've picked himself over Tim, which means…”

Oh god, Tim, no. “Tim tricked him.”

“Tim chose Jason’s life over his own. And Jay doesn't know.”

Dick starts sobbing and hugs his dad bruisingly. “How are we supposed to tell him? He's never gonna forgive himself!”

“Tim had- th-there were tear tracks on his cheeks. He'd been crying.”

“He died terrified,” Dick cries into his dad's chest, “oh god, Timmy. I loved him like a brother,” he wails, “this isn't fair!” 

How can that sweet, sweet geeky little kid that ran around the Batcave screaming and pointing and shaking with excitement be gone. The kid that freaked out over meeting his favorite superheroes. The kid that had the time of his life at Disneyland. The kid that was head-over-heels for Dick’s baby brother. That kid is dead now.

“I'm sorry,” Bruce cries with him, “I am so, so sorry. I'm sorry.”

“Dick?” Jason asks softly. 

“Yeah?”

“Why hasn't Tim come to see me? I've seen you, and dad, and Alf. Is he mad at me?” Jason's eyes are watering and he looks so sad at just the thought of Tim ignoring him, but it's so much worse than that.

“Fuck,” Dick whispers, “ok. Shit, god.” He really, really doesn't wanna be the one to shatter his baby brother’s heart. With a deep breath he slips his hand into Jason’s and weaves their fingers together. Jason tenses at the contact, probably sensing that something was very wrong. Dick soothingly rubs his thumb over the back of Jason’s hand.

“Dick, where is Babybird?”

“Do you want it sugar coated or brutally honest?”

“Second.”

Dick takes another deep breath. “Tim died, Jason."

Jason freezes. “Wh-what? No, that's… no. Why would you joke about that?!” he growls, yanking his hand free and glaring at Dick. 

“I wouldn't,” Dick sobs quietly, his own heart breaking, “I would never do that to you.” Tears are flowing freely from his eyes. He wishes he was playing the world's cruelest joke on his brother and that Tim was fine and sound asleep across the hall but he's not. He's in Gotham Cemetery, a few rows away from Dick’s parents.

“No! How, he, he was right there, he had a rebreather. It's not… it's not possible!” Jason yells and Dick can tell that he's desperately trying to keep himself together, trying to rationalize, trying to understand.

“The rebreather was b-broken. The smoke… he suffocated. Batman performed CPR for twenty minutes on the way home but it was too late.”

“Why was there a broken rebreather in your fucking suit Dick?!”

Dick sobs even harder. He wishes it had been broken instead of Jason’s, so that at least he could pretend that Tim didn't know, but he did. “There wasn't!”

“Huh?”

“The one in my belt was functional. Yours b-broke during Joker’s attack.”

“B-but he grabbed mine first to give me? I don't understand!”

“Wh-when Batman found you, my rebreather was in your mouth. Yours was beside Tim. He… he s-swapped them t-to save you,” Dick explains, and he can see it when it hits Jason, can see it in his eyes when his heart is torn from his chest. 

“No! No, no no no, no no nononononono,” Jason whimpers, before he turns to the side and collapses into Dick’s chest, clutching the back of his shirt like a lifeline - and then he screams.

It's horrible - shrill and raw and broken and full of the kind of pain that Dick never, ever wanted his baby brother to experience. He immediately throws his arms around Jason and holds him tight enough that his own arms ache but he thinks it may be the only way to keep his brother in one piece.

“I’m here,” Dick sobs, “I've got you, I've got you, I've got you.”

He screams again and starts clawing at Dick’s shirt with his nails. Weirdly enough, it actually feels kinda nice - until a nail breaks through the cotton and shallowly cuts a couple inches of his back. Dick hisses at the pain but it's hardly more than a papercut. He refuses to leave his brother right now. Even if he claws at his back until it bleeds, it doesn't matter, because Jason needs him now more than ever and he will be here for him.

“I’m sorry, Jay. I'm so sorry,” Dick ducks his head and cries into Jason’s hair for several minutes.

Jason screams for a third time and it doesn't seem like it's ever going to stop. He is completely falling apart in Dick’s arms, who is starting to feel like he isn't enough to help him. Dick needs backup, he needs… he needs Tim. He chokes on a sob, because the person that would be the most effective at holding his baby brother together is the one causing him to shatter.

The fourth scream causes Jason’s voice to crack and he dissolves into heart-wrenching sobs. Dick never thought he'd be happy to hear Jason sobbing, but at least it isn't those horrible screams that are going to haunt Dick’s nightmares for years to come. And he's finally stopped trying to scrape Dick’s skin off his back.

Jason is keening, and Dick can actually feel a damp spot on his t-shirt from the flood of tears. The cries are too loud for him to notice when Bruce comes running into the room in a panic.

He pauses when he sees Dick’s vise-like grip on his shaking brother. ‘Tim?’ Bruce mouths, tears quickly forming in his eyes.

Dick nods.

Bruce gestures at his son with a questioning look.

Dick mouths back in response, ‘No. Might be embarrassed with you. Needs to let this out. Needs to feel it.’

Bruce's face twists in misery, presumably at the thought of having to let this agonizing breakdown continue. But Dick knows it's important for Jason to get everything out. Knows he needs to let himself feel it to have any chance of ever moving forward.

Dick nods again. ‘I hate it too.”

Bruce's shoulders fall. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.”

Bruce gives him a sad smile and leaves the room. 

Jason never quieted down enough to realize anyone else had been there. He’s still wailing in agony and Dick is honestly impressed at the strength of his lungs after hardly using them at all for nearly a month.

“I love you, I love you, I'm never letting you go,” Dick promises, “not ‘til you tell me to.”

Jason cries wordlessly for several more minutes, eventually being able to get words out through the tears. But that turns out to be worse.

“Diiiiick!”

“I know, sweetheart,” Dick murmurs, “I know.”

“This- ‘s me- I- Dick, I, I- my fault- it's all my fault,” he sobs, “I d-did this!”

“What? No, Jas-”

“I killed Tim!”

“Absolutely not. Don't-”

“Why d-did I talk- should've left on roof- dead cause of me!” Jason wails.

“He is dead because of the Jo-”

“I KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!” he screams. “Oh god, I killed my best friend,” he whimpers, and then gags. “I'm gonna- I'm-”

Dick feels Jason’s body spasm and he makes a retching sound, but nothing happens. “Fuck, oww,” Jason moans in pain. He retches again and oh crap, he's dry heaving.

“Oh, god, Jay, your stomach is empty. Please try to breathe calmly.” He is going to be so sore.

Jason dry heaves several times before he finally goes boneless and slumps against Dick with a loud whine. Dick slides his hand under Jason’s shirt and rubs circles on his back. 

“Just breathe. I know it aches, I know.”

Jason tries to take slow, measured breaths, but he's trembling and whimpering like a wounded dog.

“Shhhhhshhshh, hey, you're alright Little Wing. It's ok. Looks like it passed.”

“Why?” Jason whispers, voice raspy and broken and wobbly and awful.

Kinda weird question? Feels like he could figure that out by himself. “Um. Cause you're not retching anymore? Duh?”

“No,” he whines. 

“But you're not?”

“Why would he choose to- to- to- fuck, I can't,” Jason gasps, “Why would he pick me?”

Dick's hand stills, and then he pulls it out from under Jason's shirt. “Oh. Well… you're best friends. You would've done the same for him.”

“But I'm Robin. I’m supposed to save people.”

“Robin did save someone,” Dick whispers.

The corner of Jason’s mouth twitches into a smile for a split second. “He looked amazing.”

“I bet,” Dick murmurs, imagining Tim in his suit, pulling Jason to safety.

“Still not what I meant.”

“Look, this is Tim we’re talking about. I'm sure he thought it through. He would know you would be hurt if he- he wouldn't arbitrarily hurt you if he didn't earnestly believe your life was more important than his own.”

“But it's not,” Jason starts crying again, “‘s equal.”

Dick gently dries Jason’s old tears, and brushes away the fresh ones as they fall. “If two lives are equally important and only one can be saved… it's never gonna end fairly, Jason. He probably thought about all the people that might not be saved if Robin died, and he just measured up his one innocent life versus multiple innocent people's lives. He was trying to be objective.”

“He was younger. He had m-more to live for.”

“That's not really- Jason…” Dick sighs, closing his eyes tightly and feeling tears slip out of them. He reopens them and his baby brother is looking at him with a defeated expression. “I don't think Tim wanted to live in a world without you, honey.”

“What if I don't w-wanna live in a world without him?” Jason sobs quietly.

“Tim was forced into making a choice that no kid should ever have to. But he made it.”

“Why?”

“You still don't know, do you?” Dick realizes, definitely failing to keep the pity out of his voice and expression.

“Know what?”

God, does Dick have to do everything in this damn house? Why does he have to be the one to repeatedly hurt Jason today? He starts crying harder. Please let Jason remain oblivious after this.

“Dick, what?”

“Timmy loved you, Jason.”

Jason's brow furrows. “I know? He told me all the time?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

“What?”

“Tim was in love with you.” Please stay oblivious, please stay oblivious. Dick wipes his eyes and takes a couple deep breaths.

Jason's brow relaxes, his eyes widen, and he gets a bit… spacey. If Dick were to guess, he's running through every interaction he ever had with Tim. After several achingly long seconds, Jason’s eyes clear. “Dickie?” he whispers, voice shaking and eyes flooding again.

Oh no. “Mm?”

“I think I was too.”

Goddammit. “I know,” Dick murmurs.

Jason's expression crumples and he starts sobbing all over again. “I'm such a fuckup! Is he already- did I miss- please, I g-gotta say goodbye!”

“He’s already been buried, I'm sorry. I missed it too, wasn't back yet. It's… it's a really nice spot,” Dick says softly. It's near the highest point of the cemetery, with rolling green hills all around it. There's a massive tulip poplar tree, well over 100 feet tall, right behind the Drake’s plots. Dick always sees it when visiting his parents but never had a reason to walk over to it. Until now. It'll create some nice shade once the canopy regrows in the spring. It really is pretty.

Dick slowly sinks to his knees on Tim's grave, tears already falling. When his legs hit the ground, the cold seeps into him from the grass and makes him shiver. He extends a trembling hand and lays it over the plaque with Tim's name inscribed in solid gold. 

“Thank you,” he rasps, “I'm so sorry. I will never forget what you gave for Jason. We’ll take care of him for you, I promise. I love you kiddo.” He looks at the pink carnation in his other hand and sighs sadly. “Bye Timmy.” He lays it horizontally just below the plaque with a small sniffle.

Dick stands and turns away from the grave. He collapses into Wally’s waiting arms and sobs.

Jason screams again and then sobs even harder. Dick murmurs comforts into his hair that he knows go unheard as he rubs his back and tries desperately to hold himself together. 

When Jason finally cries himself to sleep, Dick allows himself to break down. He muffles himself with his arm and cries until he follows his baby brother into sleep.

Chapter Text

Jason wakes up with an aching throat and a horrible headache. What the hell? What happ- he inhales sharply and his eyes snap open.

Tim.

The warm arms around him tighten for a second and he moves his eyes up to see his brother smiling softly at him. “Hi Little Wing.”

“Gotta pee,” Jason rasps and then winces. He sounds like he's had a hearty meal of glass and gravel.

“Oh, geez Jay. I think you gave yourself laryngitis.”

“‘s not just… bad dream?”

Dick sighs. “I wish.”

Jason nods and his eyes fill with tears again. Tim willingly sacrificed himself for Jason. Because Jason was too fucking stupid to heed his warning and the little asshole followed him just to protect him. Then he tricked Jason into letting him die. “Fuck him,” Jason whimpers, “fuck Tim Drake.”

“I'm sorry,” Dick murmurs, kissing the top of Jason’s head.

“He left me!”

“He saved you.”

“He should've just let me die!”

“Well he didn't.”

“Well I wish he had,” Jason whispers, wiping his eyes and drying his cheeks. 

“I know,” Dick whispers back.

“I still gotta pee. Can I walk?”

“You're allowed to, but you're gonna be very weak and tire easily. During the coma we used electrical stimulation to prevent muscular atrophy but your body itself hasn't actually had to do any work in like… four weeks, so.”

“What?”

“Uhhh. Crap. Surprise? It took you a little over a week to wake up from the initial injury and you had made zero progress. I mean sure it was only a week but nothing had changed. So we put you into a coma, and Zatanna gave your healing a little boost. So. You're pretty much totally healed.”

“Physically,” Jason mutters.

“Yeah,” Dick sighs, “Anyway, let me walk with you, ok?”

Jason nods. 

“And you should really keep the talking to a minimum to heal your vocal cords.”

Dick moves off the bed and helps pull Jason to the edge of it, turning him so he can put his feet on the floor. He holds out his hands and Jason takes them and then nods. Dick pulls him to his feet and Jason trembles like a damn fawn because god he’s weak. 

“Ok, easy Jay. I can carry you if you want.”

Jason shakes his head. He can do this. 

“Stubborn little shit,” Dick murmurs fondly, squeezing his hands.

Jason grins and nods. The trembling has mostly subsided so he takes a cautious step forward and his knees almost buckle. Dick just smiles encouragingly. “I won't let you fall. I've got you.“

“I know,” Jason says softly. 

It's slow going but he eventually makes it to the toilet. 

“Ok not to make it weird but… I'm staying, in case you collapse. Unless you really don't want me to.”

“‘s okay.” He’s honestly relieved because he's not completely sure if he can get through this and remain standing.

Dick moves to stand perpendicular to the toilet while Jason turns to face it. Dick holds out an arm in front of him and closes his eyes. “Take my arm if ya need me.”

“K.” Jason says, pulling the front of his own sweatpants down just enough to lift himself out. He pees real quick and then tucks himself back in. “Done.”

Dick lowers his arm and opens his eyes. “Feel better?”

“...no?”

Dick snorts. “Your bladder, not your feelings.”

“Oh. Yeah.” He takes a careful step over to the sink to wash and then dry his hands. Then he sighs in exhaustion. “Carry me?”

“Yes!” Dick cheers, scooping him up into a cradle carry with a beaming smile, “I've wanted to carry you for two months!”

Jason huffs out a small laugh. 

“Back to bed?”

Jason hesitates for a few seconds before deciding. “Tim’s?” He blushes lightly.

Dick frowns. “You sure?”

Jason nods.

“Ok…” Dick carries him across the hall and into Tim's room.

Jason sees the Lego Millennium Falcon and a small sob painfully tears out of his throat. “Out.”

“I was afraid of that,” Dick sighs, carrying Jason out of the room.

“Yours?”

“Sure thing bud.”

Jason needs a room that doesn't have memories of Tim right now. He’s carried into Dick’s bedroom and gently laid on the bed.

“Phone?”

Dick nods. “Be right back.” He hurries out of the room and returns quickly with Jason’s phone, handing it over to him.

Jason takes it and unlocks it, cringing at the number of texts wishing him well. There's a message from Tim and his chest aches as he taps on it.

Tim: This is a pre-scheduled text. So you should only get this if I'm gone. Anyway, this link goes to a cloud folder with letters for all four of you. I wrote them on this flight. Please send the link to the others.

I love you.

“Dickie?”

“Mhm?”

Jason shows him the message. 

“Oh.”

Jason forwards Dick the link. Dick walks around to the other side of the bed to hop up and scoot over beside his brother, pulling out his own phone. 

Jason swallows nervously, taps the link, and then taps the document titled with his name, hands trembling.

Jason,

If you're reading this, then something didn't go as planned and I'm gone. I just hope to god that if there was a problem I at least got you out. 

I just wanted to say thanks. For everything. For talking to me that first night even if I fell off the roof which was actually kinda awesome.

Jason snorts. It nearly gave him a heart attack while Tim was thrilled.

And then the Batbar, watch, and phone. But especially thank you for giving me a second home, where I actually felt loved.

Jason whines and leans into Dick’s side for comfort. He's reading his own letter, but he pauses to wrap an arm around Jason before continuing.

A place where I didn't have to be lonely or neglected. These last six months have been the best of my life, because of you. And Disneyland! That was fracking awesome.

Thank you for caring. For being there whether I had a good day or a bad one. For trusting me with your own bad days. I'll miss all of it. Or I guess I won't, actually, which is kind of a bummer.

Please don't blame yourself for this. It was my decision to protect you. This was my choice. You're my best friend in the universe. There is nothing I wouldn't do to protect you, even if it means I don't make it. Because you are good enough to die for if it means you get to live. You save lives almost every night. I don't. You mean more to more people than I do. It's just a fact. 

Please don't be mad. I'm sorry I've hurt you. I'm sorry I'm just someone else that left you. But I don't think I could live knowing you died if I could've prevented it. You're too important - you're Robin. I know I've already said this, but you're the best Robin. You are, and always will be, my Robin.

“And you'll always be mine,” Jason whispers as a tear drips onto his phone screen. Tim as Robin saved his life. He's forever indebted to him for that. But he'll never be able to repay him.

I hope you never have to read this. Cause I don't wanna hurt you, or leave you. And I'll be honest, I really don't wanna die. But you're worth the risk. I hope you can get to a point where thinking of me makes you smile. I know I'll treasure every single moment with you all the way to the end.

Goodbye, Jason. 

I love you. More than I was ever brave enough to tell you.

I always will.

-Tim

Jason tosses his phone aside and hugs his knees to his chest, letting the silent tears flow from his eyes.

“I'm here,” Dick murmurs, hugging him from the side. His own voice sounds strained, probably from his own letter, “reading mine was painful enough, I can't imagine how much you're hurting.”

“Hope you never do,” Jason rasps.

“I'm so sorry, Little Wing.”

“He's really g-gone.”

“Yeah.”

Jason sniffles. “Can I just be alone for a while? If you want your room back you can take me back to mine.”

“It's fine, you can stay. But Jason, is leaving you… safe?”

“I may feel like shit, and I want to die, but I'm not gonna undermine his sacrifice. I'm not going anywhere,” Jason promises.

“I believe you. I'm gonna go see Wally, ok? I'm gonna tell dad you're here, I'm sure he's gonna check on you at some point.”

“Ok. I love you,” he sighs, not even returning the hug.

“I love you too,” Dick says softly, “I'll see you later.” He gives him one last squeeze, another kiss on the head, and then slips away.

Jason straightens his legs back out, grabs his phone and pockets it, grabs the blanket from the end of the bed and then pulls it over himself as he lies down. He silently cries as he imagines Tim suffocating, wrapped around Jason to keep him breathing as his own lungs fail, probably terrified and knowing he was gonna die and he was all alone.

He falls asleep again.

Jason wakes up in his childhood bedroom, which he thinks is supposed to be weird but he's not sure why. He should check on mom. 

He walks through his doorway and down the hall into the living room, walking around the sofa to see a black-haired boy- 

“Tim!”

Jason drops to his knees beside his head and presses two fingers to his neck.

“No.”

He presses harder but there's nothing.

“Tim please.”

Tim’s cheek is cold when Jason cups it to turn his face- wide open eyes, pupils dilated, a narrow gray iris surrounding them. 

“Please!” Jason pulls Tim into his arms, cradling his corpse.

Jason is kneeling on concrete. The burning heat of fire surrounds him and the air is hazy with smoke but Jason can feel himself breathing just fine. He looks down and Tim is still staring lifelessly at the sky. Until his mouth starts moving.

“You let me die,” he says, tone flat and emotionless.

“No,” Jason sobs, “I would never.”

“I love you,” he says in the same tone.

“Please, I do too, please, come back just come back!”

“You killed me.”

“No, I- Joker- not me, not me.” 

In a blink, Tim’s skin turns white, his hair turns green, and his lips turn bright red, and then he starts cackling like the Joker.

“No, make it stop, stop, please stop, please I can't!”

He laughs and laughs and laughs.

“Shut up! Just shut up!”

He keeps laughing and Jason screams, grabbing Tim’s head and twisting until there's a sharp crack and the laughing ends.

The Joker’s coloring disappears and Tim looks normal, but his head is hanging limply. “Told you.”

“No!”

“Jason!”

Jason shoots up to a sitting position with a sharp gasp, chest heaving, cheeks wet.

“You're ok, it was just a nightmare,” Bruce says, carefully turning his head to gently dry his face. He's sitting beside Jason on Dick's bed, looking worried.

“Dad,” Jason cries desperately, and his voice hurts and sounds even worse than before. He must've been screaming in his sleep. “Hold?” is all he asks, but Bruce will know what he means.

“Ok honey,” he says softly, pulling Jason sideways onto his lap and letting him lean his side against his broad torso, head tucked under his chin. His strong arms wrap securely around Jason, who hugs one of the arms tightly. An affectionate huff sounds from above, “You're safe.”

The silent tears continue. “Not nightmare.”

“No?”

“This is the nightmare,” he whispers.

“Oh, Jaylad…” Bruce sighs sadly, “I'm so sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

“Doesn't make me any less sorry.”

“Yeah.”

“Sweetheart, I love you. But you really need to stop talking. Dick was right, you definitely have acute laryngitis.”

Jason nods against his chest and squeezes the arm tighter.

“I’ll stay here as long as you want. And don't worry, I never get tired of holding you.”

Jason exhales sharply through his nose as a means of laughter. 

He just lays against his dad for several minutes, taking slow breaths, eventually calming from the dream.

And then his stomach growls loudly.

Bruce laughs. “Hungry?”

Jason nods again.

“Want me to take you to the kitchen?”

Nods.

“Ok, let's go then.” Bruce scoots to the edge of the bed and cradles Jason in his arms, rising to his feet and starting to walk. Jason lets his eyes rest and lets himself be carried. It's relaxing. 

Eventually he's being set down, and he opens his eyes as he's placed in a chair at the kitchen table, and Bruce calls for Alfred, who appears quickly from god knows where.

“Alfie,” Jason smiles broadly. 

Alfred smiles back. “Hello my dear boy.” He walks up to Jason and crouches slightly to hug him at eye level. “I have sorely missed you.”

“Sorry.” Jason hugs him back and geez, as far as his consciousness is concerned he hugged Alfred less than a week ago but it feels like it's been forever.

“No, none of that. Was merely a statement, not an assignment of guilt.”

“Ok. Hungry.”

Alfred releases him and stands. “I'm afraid your food options are going to be rather limited for awhile since your stomach has been practically empty for weeks.”

Jason shrugs. That's fine. But he needs something.

“I can get you some chicken or beef broth if you'd like.”

Jason holds up two fingers.

“The beef?” 

He nods.

“Would you like it heated in a mug to make it easier?”

Another nod.

“Ok. Back in a jiff,” he winks, squeezing Jason’s shoulder. 

“Think you'll be able to eat anything in about ten days. Should get a little more interesting each day though,” Bruce says from the seat beside him.

Jason gives him jazz hands with a deadpan expression. 

Bruce laughs again and Jason grins at the sound.

Alfred is back in a couple minutes with a steaming mug of beef broth, that he sets down in front of Jason. “Small sips please, sir. Can't have you drinking too much too quickly.”

Jason nods and takes a small sip, humming happily at the rich taste and comforting warmth. 

“Good?”

Jason nods again. It takes several minutes to finish the mug, and it actually does fill him up. One tiny step back to normalcy. Now he's kinda… bored. He wonders if there's anything new in the cave. He looks at his dad and then points towards his study.

“You wanna go downstairs?”

Nod.

“Um…” Bruce hesitates. “Sure.”

Jason’s eyes widen. Does Batman not want him anymore? He starts breathing quicker. 

“Woah, Jay, the suit Tim wore is on display and I don't wanna hurt you, that's the only reason I'm hesitant. You're still my partner, ok? I promise.”

Jason calms. ‘Oh,’ he mouths, then shrugs. 

“You still want to?”

Nod.

“Ok, down you go,” Bruce says, carefully setting Jason on his feet. “You ok?”

Nod.

Jason walks slowly over to the suits and somehow more tears escape him at the sight of Dick’s Tim's Robin suit encased in glass. He walks up to it and leans his forehead against it, closing his eyes. 

I'm sorry, Tim.

Bruce soothingly rubs his back over the next several seconds until Jason raises his head and opens his eyes. 

“Plaque,” Jason quietly demands.

“Agreed. I wanted you to decide what it should say.”

Jason pulls out his phone and opens a note, typing out what it should say without a second of hesitation.

In Loving Memory of Tim Drake

Robin

The Best of Us

He shows it to his dad.

“That sounds perfect, Jason,” Bruce says, voice tight from emotion.

Jason nods in agreement and leans his forehead back against the glass. “I love you,” he whispers.

The tears have no interest in ceasing.

Chapter Text

Dick internally sighs as he clicks on his letter. At least he's had three weeks to grieve before reading this, unlike Jason. Not that it's gonna make this hurt any less.

Dick,

If you're reading this, I'm dead. Probably.  But Jason hopefully isn't! I hope to god we're not both dead… anyway!

I enjoyed every single second I had with you. You were my childhood hero. Becoming friends with you has been an absolute dream come true. You are an incredible person, one of the best I've ever met.

You're endlessly kind, and supportive, and loving. Dick, you became the big brother that I always wanted.

Beside him, Jason whines in pain and leans against him. Dick pauses his reading to wrap an arm around his- around his first baby brother. God, Dick really loves Tim. Nearly as much as he loves Jason. The instant he saw that sweet, excitable, tiny kid all he wanted to do was protect him. He's not sure he's ever failed so spectacularly before.

And I'm sure that somehow you’re finding a way to blame yourself, but let me be crystal clear. You are not responsible or to blame. None of this is your fault. 

Dick huffs out a laugh, eyes watering. Yep, Tim called it.

I worry about Jason’s guilt complex. He has to know that it's not his fault either. He has to be ok. I know you'll be looking after him anyway so I don't need to tell you to - because you're the greatest brother anyone could ever have. Just make sure he gets past this. It's fine if he hates me for leaving him. At least he’ll be alive. If you have to throw me under the bus to make him move on, do it.

Absolutely not. Dick refuses. His brother's savior will be staying well above the wheels of any buses. He is a hero.

I also don't think I ever mentioned how I figured you all out. I remember that night. They said the Graysons were the only ones in the world that could do a quadruple somersault. I saw you pull one on patrol and instantly figured it out. Honestly you should just call it The Grayson instead of a quadruple somersault at this point. 

Jason suddenly whispers something and shivers, but is otherwise ok.

In other words, I figured you out cause you're the coolest. You're an amazing hero and everyone looks up to you and you deserve everything in the world. You are what the Batman should be. Your light is unparalleled and I'm the luckiest kid in the world to have seen that up close.

Thanks for everything. I love you! 

Goodbye Dick

-Tim

Dick sighs heavily and wipes his eyes. He's really gonna miss that kid. The last three weeks have sucked without him but at least he's started healing. Jason's only just begun.

Bruce,

I'm sorry if you're reading this. Cause it means I'm probably dead. But Jason should be ok. At least I hope so. If I screwed up and Jason… well, I won't even have enough time to describe how sorry I am. But he will be fine, I have to believe that.

“His heart’s not fine,” Bruce mutters, glancing at his sleeping son. He reaches over to gently run a hand through his hair. But he is alive. And he’ll heal. But Bruce knows it's gonna be a fight for him to keep going at the beginning. He’ll be there every step of the way.

Anyway, I don't think I'm able to fully articulate my gratitude for opening your house to me. I know I was only there six months but you gave me a home, Bruce. You treated me the way I wish my dad did. Just the fact that you're around already makes you better. 

Only six months and Bruce already cared about Tim like he was his third kid. Getting to know that boy was a gift and he will really miss him.

I'm glad Brucie is a front. You're actually like, so fracking nice? And you've been so supportive, insanely generous, and down to earth and I can't believe I got to meet you.

And Batman! You're the greatest superhero of all time! I don't remember a time without knowing about you. Your Gotham’s greatest protector and I got to meet you up close and that's the coolest thing that has ever happened to me and I can't believe I was ever that lucky.

I really enjoyed getting to watch the end of Battlestar Galactica with you. That was really special. Getting to help you finish a series that you started watching with your dad? Who gets to do something like that? Me!

Bruce doesn't think anybody but Tim could have convinced him to finish watching that series. (And he will no longer watch it with anyone else ever again because apparently it's cursed and watching it with someone is a death sentence for them.)

Getting to know you was one of the highlights of my entire existence, and I will miss you.

If you see my parents, can you please tell them I'm sorry? They may have been subpar but I do love them. I’m not sure if they'll actually be upset? But hopefully so. Not that I want them to be upset, exactly, but it would be nice to know I mattered enough to them.

They were definitely upset. Janet broke down over the phone when he had to break the news. It wasn't dramatic enough to be fake. Jack sounded embarrassed by her tears, which is insane because Bruce can't imagine a single better reason to break down than losing a child. If Bruce lost either of his boys he would be beside himself. 

At least it’s Gotham so it was easy to make up a story about what happened to Tim - and it didn't actually involve that much lying. 

He said Jason got kidnapped and Tim tracked him on his phone, breaking in to rescue him. He succeeded but then got shot through his trachea and suffocated as they escaped.

More or less the truth. They deserved to know their son died a hero. Just, not the full details.

Thank god they didn't blame Jason. He already feels horrible enough, he doesn't need the Drake's blame on top of all the other guilt. 

I know you'll continue to be an amazing dad to your sons and will make sure Jason moves forward. He deserves the world. I had to save him, I’m sorry.

Thanks for everything. I loved every minute with this family.

Goodbye Bruce. Thank you for being the dad figure I deserved.

-Tim

“You're welcome,” Bruce whispers, swiping away the couple tears that escaped from his eyes. 

“Thank you,” he sighs sadly, looking over at his breathing, alive boy. All thanks to Tim’s sacrifice that he never should have had to give. Jason's right. Tim is the best of them. 

Or was.

Alfred,

If you're reading this, I'm most likely dead. But Jason is hopefully fine. If not… I'm really sorry. 

Anyway, the instant I tried that chicken and rice the first night I was here, you were secretly my favorite person in the manor. Everything you ever made was the best food I'd ever had. It was seriously almost ridiculous. Are you sure you're not some kind of food meta?

Alfred laughs quietly, eyes watering. Tim was always so thankful, about everything, even something as simple as a glass of water. He doesn't know how someone raised with such distant parents turned out so good. Maybe it's because they were distant.

You've also been incredibly kind to me. You were always around for a conversation, or helping me get better at cooking, or sometimes simply being present while I worked on homework. (But you really need a break. You deserve it. The house will not fall apart without you, Jason would make sure of it.)

Alfred is… inclined to agree with him, for once. Once Jason is fully healed and back on regular food, anyway.

Alfred’s so worn down. This loss has left an ache in his chest that can only be filled with excited chatter and happy grins. He will greatly miss Tim looking at his grandson like he hung the stars in the sky whenever the older teen wasn't looking. Tim looked at Jason the way Wallace looks at Dick. Not to mention Jason's affectionate, protective eyes in return - whether Tim was looking or not.

He sighs. Those boys would've made a fine pair - if Jason ever would've figured it out, or if Tim ever felt particularly brave. Alfred had always been quietly rooting for them. Maybe they would've been forever, or maybe just each other’s first loves that didn't pan out. He's confident that they would've remained friends had that been the case.

Alfred is confident that Jason will find someone he fancies. His heart is far too big for him not to. And that wouldn't be possible if Tim hadn’t sacrificed himself to save his life. He just wishes the boy hadn't had to.

Batman, Nightwing, and Robin are all so cool, but before meeting you I didn't realize that was all because of you. You're Batman's Batman. They would never have become the greatest heroes in the world without you. And thank you for letting me run comms sometimes. That was fracking awesome! I guess I also have you to thank for “Babybird.” That was my favorite nickname from him. Made me feel like I could be a hero too.

I loved getting to know all of you and I wish I could've continued. But I had to save Jason. By the way, for his birthday, he wants 1) a personal cheese pizza, 2) to make chocolate chip cookies, and 3) a used book. That's what his mother did and I think he's too… shy? to ask for that, but it means the world to him. (Also, he can have any of my stuff.)

Thank you for everything. And I do mean everything. You helped me have the most amazing six months of my life. 

Goodbye Alfred

-Tim

Alfred sets his phone down and wipes his eyes. That was heartbreaking. He takes a sip of his hot tea and it actually makes him sadder. “I should've let you have all the coffee you wanted,” he whispers. A tiny sob escapes and Alfred covers his mouth. “I’m so sorry, lad." He starts quietly crying over the loss of that darling boy that did nothing but give and love. 

Alfred will never forget him.

Chapter Text

“I can't,” Jason rasps, slamming the car door shut immediately after opening it, “I'm sorry.”

“It's ok to not be ready. There's no rush,” Dick says softly from the driver's seat, a frustratingly patient smile on his face.

“He deserves a goodbye.”

“Doesn't have to be today.”

“We already drove all the way out here.”

Dick snorts. “It's only a five minute drive. We can come back tomorrow,” he offers.

“If I don't do it now, I'm afraid I never will,“ Jason admits, because this is the last place he ever wanted to be. Though it's not like Tim’s gonna be any less dead if he avoids his grave.

“That would be ok too you know. It's ok if you're never ready.”

Jason shakes his head. “Absolutely not. This is the god damn least he deserves.”

“Just… take a few deep breaths and then we’ll walk over together, alright?”

Jason follows his brother's suggestion, and then he finally opens the car door and stands from his seat, tulip bouquet in hand, and closes it behind him. He thumbs at the soft petals of the red and yellow flowers and smiles for a millisecond. They're Tim’s favorites. 

Dick walks over and rubs his back. “C'mon,” he murmurs, gently ushering him along. Jason leans into him for comfort.

It's a slow walk, since it's at nearly the highest point in the cemetery - and because Jason is walking extra slow to prolong seeing Tim’s name in the ground.

Eventually, they make it.

“Hi Timmy,” Dick murmurs as they stand at the foot of the grave, “Look who's up walking around.” He turns to face Jason. “I'm gonna go talk to my parents. Yell if you need me, ok?”

Jason nods. Dick squeezes his hand and walks away. With slow, careful steps Jason walks closer to the plaque in the ground - Dick had preemptively warned him that the grave needs to settle for a few months before a headstone can be placed. And good thing he was told, cause he’d have been livid if he thought Tim wasn't given one.

Timothy Jackson Drake

October 24, 2006

February 21, 2020

When Jason reads the name, he falls to his knees with a pathetic sob. He carefully places the tulip bouquet horizontally under the plaque, then shifts his position to sit down and hug his knees to his chest. 

“You f-fucking asshole,” Jason whimpers, wiping at his overflowing eyes, “Should've been me, Tim. It should've b-been me! I'd give anything to take your place, anything,” he sobs, hiding his face in his knees. 

Jason is so angry at him. Tim never should've come after him! If Jason’s own choices led to the deadly situation he found himself in, he should've been the only one there. But he wasn't, cause that stupid, selfless boy followed him because he loved him. If Jason hadn't been so god damn emotionally inept, maybe he would've realized his own feelings and never would've gone. 

“Why? Why d-did you have to make- make f-falling for you so easy that I didn't- didn't even know. And now it's too f-fucking late!”

He fists a clump of grass and tugs. “You sh-shouldn't be down there! You're supposed to b-be up here, with me. I just wanna hug you!” he weeps. He wants- needs to hold him close, to keep him safe. But it doesn't matter anymore.

‘I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,’ he thinks, over and over. The more he thinks it the more it hurts because it's not true at all. Whatever. He deserves to hurt. Because Tim Drake is in the ground forever and it's Jason's fault.

He’d rather be dead with Tim than stranded alive without him.

“I quit,” he rasps quietly, “Won't- can't without you. N-never be someone’s Robin again. Never.”

The thought of continuing to be the thing that caused the death of his best friend is unimaginable. He wouldn't be able to function. He'd feel nothing but a well-earned disgust wearing those colors.

“F-fucking promised mama I wouldn't lose s-someone I love again, I promised her. And I- I- I failed. I’m sorry Tim, I'm so sorry!” He sobs, throat raw and chest aching. 

Crying is getting really old, but he's pretty sure he's not gonna be stopping anytime soon. The laryngitis will never heal at this rate. He's not sure his heart ever will either. But it's gonna have to.

He reaches forward and lays his hand over Tim’s name, fingers splayed. “I will treasure what you gave me, I promise you. G-gonna live my life to the… the goddamn fullest. Be the best damn h-hero this city’s ever seen.” He wipes his eyes with a tired sniffle and then slowly traces Tim’s name with a trembling fingertip.

“Gonna make you p-proud every single day. Your sacrifice won't be for n-nothing, I won't let it, I refuse. You gave everything for me. S-so I'm gonna give all I can to make it as worth it as p-possible. I love you so fucking much Timothy Jackson Drake. You'll never know how sorry I am.”

He kisses his palm and presses it against the T of his name. “Goodbye Timmers.” Then he slowly rises to his feet with a bone weary sigh and hugs himself tightly, staring at the name. 

“Thank you,” Jason whispers, barely audible. 

He looks around, spots his brother several rows away, and trudges over to him. Dick is talking quietly to his parents' headstones, but pauses when Jason walks up. 

“Anyway,” Dick continues, pulling Jason against his side and wrapping an arm around him, “here’s that amazing baby brother I've told you about so many times.”

“Um. Hello.”

Dick smiles at his response. “I wish he was here under better circumstances.”

“This is a graveyard,” Jason says dryly, pulling away from his brother.

Dick snorts and leans over to peck the top of his head. “See? Like I said, bone-dry sense of humor. You'd love him. Anyway… we’re gonna go. Bye mama, bye dad. I love you.”

“Bye,” Jason mumbles, stepping out of the row of granite.

Dick reaches out and lays a hand on his arm, saying his name with so much love and empathy that Jason shatters, bursting into tears and throwing himself into his big brother's chest, knees buckling. Luckily, Dick’s reflexes are fast enough to grab him up and cradle him in his arms. Jason buries his face in the curve of Dick’s neck, sobbing brokenly. Dick carries him to the car and then sits down in the driver's seat with him, gently rocking and singing softly to him until he calms down, however long later. 

Dick kisses the top of his head again and maneuvers him into the passenger's seat, reaching across his lap to grab his seatbelt and buckle him up. Jason just stares blankly out the window as they drive back to the manor. Dick hums quietly as he drives. 

When they get home, Jason whispers a pained ‘thanks Dickie’ and extricates himself from the car, walking through the front door, far down the hall, and up to the bedrooms. 

He pauses in front of Tim’s door. He can do this. With another deep breath, Jason opens the door and walks into the room and over to the bed, which he collapses onto, kicking off his shoes. He grabs the Disneyland Resistance blanket from the foot of the bed and pulls it over himself up to his neck, then shifts to rest his head on one of Tim’s pillows.

He glances around the room and his gaze lands on the knockoff ‘Battleship Galaxy' poster that they laughed about til they had to remember to breathe. Jason huffs out a laugh which quickly transforms to a whine. He grabs the other pillow and hugs it to his chest, tears spilling forth again.

I hate you.

When they get home, Jason whispers a pained ‘thanks Dickie’ and extricates himself from the car, walking through the front door. Dick slumps in the seat, head thunking against the window as he pulls out his phone. 

Dick: got a few minutes?

Wally: For you? Always 😘

Dick: I'm in the car, right in front of the door

Wally: Be there in a Flash 😜 

Dick smiles for a half second and rolls his eyes, then steps out of the car, closing the door. 

A few seconds later, the front door opens and Wally walks out, closing it behind him. He hurries up to Dick and throws his arms around him, who gladly reciprocates the hug as he starts trembling and crying in his boyfriend's arms.

“H-he was- h-heard him s-sobbing at the grave, and, and y-yelling. Then he came o-over, a-and I reached out- fell apart in my arms,” Dick cries.

“All thinge considered, think it went about as well as could be expected,” Wally murmurs. 

“He's so heartbroken a-and I can't, can't f-fix it!” He sobs, “I just have to watch! A-and I promised him I'd be there for him so h-he can't know I'm falling apart!”

“You gotta take a break, babe,” Wally soothes, rubbing his back, “you're doing it again.”

“I will always put my brother's needs above my own, always.”

“Dick, I love your heart. It's the most beautiful thing about you.”

“Thought that was my face,” Dick sniffles. 

“It's a close second,” Wally mutters, kissing his cheek, “But that's so not the point. You have to take care of yourself sometimes. I know that's hard for you, I know, because you're frustratingly selfless. But you can't help him if you’re not occasionally helping yourself.”

“I don't want him to feel alone,” Dick whimpers. 

“Maybe he could spend some time with his other brother, while you take a break. Not to mention his adorable goddaughter.”

“She might be the only thing that could make him smile,” Dick nods in agreement, “I'll… I'll talk to him.”

“Ok. You matter too, sweetheart.”

“I know,” Dick sighs, “this entire thing just really freaking sucks.”

“It does,” Wally agrees, “it really, really does.”

“I love you,” Dick whispers, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Wally’s mouth.

“I mean, I am pretty great.”

Dick laughs and actually feels light for a second. 

“I love you too,” Wally continues, smile apparent in his voice. He kisses the tip of Dick’s nose.

God, Dick is in love. 

Like Timmy was with- Dick starts sobbing again.

The next day, late in the afternoon - and what feels like a kiddie pool of tears later - Jason sits on the floor beside Tim’s memorial in the Batcave, holding the just-arrived plaque in his trembling hands and somehow finding enough liquid in his dehydrated body for even more tears. It's beautiful. It's horrible. He loves it. He hates it.

In Loving Memory of Tim Drake

Robin

The Best of Us

“God, Babybird,” he whispers, “I'm so sorry.” He lifts up the plaque and lightly kisses it. Then he pulls off the cover on the adhesive backing and carefully applies it to the memorial, making sure it's straight and even, holding it against the case for several long seconds until he's confident that it's firmly attached. 

A hand appears in his vision and Jason takes it, letting Dick pull him to his feet, Bruce and Alfred a few feet behind them. “It looks great, Jay,” Dick smiles. Bruce and Alfred nod in agreement.

“Yeah,” Jason rasps, wiping his eyes. “...he's dead.”

“He is,” Dick agrees quietly.

“No,” Jason shakes his head, then pauses “-well, yeah, but-” He walks up to his own suit and pulls it down with shaking hands. A tear drips onto the bright kevlar and Jason hugs it to his chest. One of the best things that ever happened to him led to one of the worst things to ever happen to him.

He turns around and looks up at Dick. “Robin's dead,” he clarifies in a broken whisper, “and we should honor that sacrifice.” He folds up the suit with ragged breaths, and he can feel himself closing a chapter of his life as he does so.

“I understand,” Dick says solemnly, taking it from him and setting it aside. “I am so proud of all you did as Robin, Little Wing.”

“I loved it,” Jason sighs sadly, “but now it, it only h-hurts.”

“You were incredible, Jaylad,” Bruce says, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Thanks dad,” he sniffles.

“Do you know your next persona, Master Jason?”

Jason shakes his head. “I don't know anything right now,” he admits, “all I know is… no more Robins,” he says, voice breaking. God, how could he possibly still be able to cry?!

He turns to hug his dad, sobbing quietly. “No more R-Robins.”

Chapter Text

There's a knock on Jason’s door. “‘s open,” he mutters, laying on top of his bed and staring blankly at the ceiling. It's 2pm. He's still in pajamas. He hasn't left his room today. Hasn't eaten. Hasn't spoken to anyone, just responded to a few texts from his family. Hasn't even read a book. It's probably Dick checking on him. 

The door opens and he doesn't look over. “What, Dick?” he sighs.

“Ooh, close but no cigar. Actually, never a cigar, don't smoke.”

Jason shoots up to a sitting position. “Roy!” he gasps, springing out of bed with a very rare smile on his face.

“Hey kid,” Roy smiles back. 

Jason slams into him and throws his arms around him, squeezing bruisingly. The smile’s gone. “Hi,” he sniffles, lip quivering. 

“I’m sorry,” Roy says, hugging back just as tightly. “I am so sorry.”

“Me too,” Jason whimpers.

“I got ya Jaybird, I got ya,” he murmurs, kissing the top of his head.

“Feel like shit.”

“I know.”

“Kinda wanna die.”

“Please don't.”

“Can't. Wouldn't be fair to… him.”

“So I know a blonde chick you should talk to…”

“Subtle.”

“I have not once been accused of subtlety.”

Jason snorts, then sighs. “I know you're right. I'll make an appointment with her. Know I need to.”

“So… you gonna let go of me ever or nah?”

“Nah.”

“Gonna be hard for you to hold Lian like this.”

“She's here?!” Jason grins, letting go and stepping back, “Where? Gimme!”

Roy laughs, then turns his head towards the door. “Dick!”

“You called?” Dick answers immediately, poking his head into the room.

“Gimme my goddaughter, Richard!”

He steps into the room, cradling Lian in his arms. “No can do Little Wing, I’m stealing her.”

“Please don't kidnap my baby,” Roy sighs. 

“Oh fine,” Dick whines, handing Lian to Roy and then turning to face Jason. “Listen, I'm gonna go spend some time with Walls, Jay. I… I need a break. Is that alright?”

“Finally taking care of yourself for a change?” Jason chuckles. 

Dick beams at Jason's quiet laugh. “Yeah. I love you, alright? I can be back in seconds if you need me.”

“I love you too,” Jason says, hugging his brother. “I'll be fine. Go recharge.”

Dick kisses his forehead. “Bye Little Wing.”

“Bye Dickie.”

Dick quickly leaves the room. 

Jason turns to Roy and makes grabby hands. “Give.”

Roy laughs and hands over the sleeping baby.

“Hi princess,” Jason coos, walking over to his bed and sitting down on top of it, back against the headboard. “Can't believe how big you've gotten.”

He lifts her a little higher and kisses her cheek, causing her pretty little brown eyes to open up. 

“There you are sweetheart. Probably don't even know who I am, huh?”

Jason hears Roy's phone click and looks up to stick his tongue out at him. It clicks again. Roy grins and walks around to the other side of the bed, hopping up and scooting over to sit right beside Jason. It's nice having another person nearby.

Jason cradles her in one arm and reaches down to gently squeeze her tiny hands. “Well, just know that I love you very much. And I gotta squish your little toesies!” He does so, making ridiculous sounds with each one. She giggles at him and Jason's heart melts a little. He lifts up her shirt and blows a raspberry on her soft little tummy. She shrieks with laughter and kicks her legs. 

“I couldn't possibly be sad with you around baby girl,” he laughs.

“Was hoping she’d cheer you up,” Roy admits.

Jason drops his head onto Roy’s shoulder. “Thanks.”

“Course.” Roy rubs his back.

“I'm furious at him.”

“You’re allowed to be.”

“Mad’s easy. Sad is exhausting.”

“Emotions suck.”

“Tell me about it.” Jason mutters as he raises his head off his friend’s shoulder. He looks down at Lian. “He would've loved you, cutie.”

Jason tells her all about his Robin, and it's insanely cathartic. How talented he was with his photography, how he spent night after night following them on patrols. How they met after he nearly fell to his death. How goddamn smart he was, figuring out who they were based on only a somersault. How he was sweet and loving and supportive and thoughtful. And all about his favorite things. How much of a Swiftie he was. How excited he could get about meeting other heroes, or about Disneyland. How geeky he was - in the best way. And how he is the most selfless person that Jason knows, how he gave everything so Jason could live.

“Cause of him, I get to see you grow up, I can smother you in hugs and kisses and spoil the hell outta you while your dad just watches helplessly.”

“Hey,” Roy laughs.

“He saved me, so I'm gonna make sure you know everything about how amazing he was, because he deserves to be remembered. And I… I love him very much,” he whispers. 

Roy hands him a tissue and rubs his back again. Jason dries his eyes and cheeks with a sniffle.

“I… feel a little better after that, to be honest,” Jason says, “think I needed it.”

“Good. Now, I think she needs a nap.”

“Nooo,” Jason whines dramatically.

“Oh my god, she’ll be right down the hall. You get dressed while I put her down, ok?”

“Yeah, ok,” Jason relents, handing Roy his daughter. “Sweet dreams little one.”

Roy leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

Jason sighs tiredly and forces himself back out of bed. Roy is so manipulative, god. Though Jason’s promise to live his life to the fullest isn't going so well if he's still in his room, in his pajamas, in the middle of the afternoon, and hasn't even eaten. So maybe Roy has a point.

Seven minutes later and Jason has showered and thrown on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, Dick’s Haly’s Circus hoodie, and some sneakers. He leaves his room and heads down the hallway, right as Roy walks out of the guest bedroom that must have a crib or pack 'n play in it since he's leaving her in there. 

“See! Lookin’ better already.”

“Yeah yeah, c'mon, I'm starving.”

“Ok, where we going?”

“...the kitchen?”

“Oh. Makes sense. Sometimes I forget that someone beside Alfred is allowed to cook here,” Roy chuckles.

Jason snorts. “B could burn water. Dick's technically allowed, he just pretty much never does. But I enjoy spending time with Alfred in the kitchen.”

“I don't think I've ever seen Dick cook anything more complicated than Kraft mac and cheese…” Roy mutters.

“He can at least follow a recipe. Dad cannot.”

“Isn't he a chemistry expert?”

“It's not that simple, I'm sorry!” Bruce cries from his office.

Roy looks panicked at being caught, while Jason just laughs. He peeks into the room as they walk by. “Love you anyway, dad.”

“Love you too,” Bruce smiles broadly.

“I'm gonna make some grilled cheese, you want some?”

“Sure, honey. Thanks.”

“Ok. See ya in a few minutes.”

Bruce nods and Jason steps back out, continuing to the kitchen with Roy.

“You too?”

“Uh, with you cooking? Hell yeah,” Roy grins.

“You care what bread or cheese? I'm gonna do sourdough with cheddar.”

“Make mine the same way you make yours,” he shrugs.

“Aaaaand, done.”

“I can't believe you successfully cooked three at a time, I can barely succeed with one,” Roy grumbles as he takes the plate from Jason. “Thanks.”

Jason carries his own plate and Bruce’s to the table right as the man walks into the kitchen, frowning with his cell phone in hand.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing serious. Lucius needs a second eye on some designs. I'm just sorry I can't eat with you guys,” he sighs, pocketing his phone.

“That's fine,” Jason chuckles, handing him his plate, “just eat in your office.” It's sweet that he's upset he can't eat with Jason and Roy, but Jason really doesn't mind. 

Bruce takes a bite of the sandwich and his eyes widen. Oh no is it bad? He leans closer to Jason. “This outclasses Alfred’s,” he whispers.

Jason grins. “The student has become the master. You're next, old man.”

“Sure, sweetheart,” Bruce says with a teasingly patronizing tone, ruffling his hair and then leaving with his plate. Jason shakes his head with a fond smile. Bruce pops back in. “In all seriousness, you will be better than me someday. I know it.”

“Dad,” Jason whines, blushing from the praise. Bruce grins and leaves. (And he stays out this time.)

Jason sits down beside Roy, who has already eaten a quarter of his sandwich and has a soft expression on his face.

“What?”

“Bruce is just really sweet with you. I've never actually seen it up close, ya know? But he clearly adores you. Also when did you start calling him ‘dad’?”

“On my birthday, actually. It just kinda came out? I didn't even realize I'd said it until later,” he shrugs. “I didn't really want a dad again, you know? Cause mine left us. So I just associated the word with a deadbeat piece of crap for the longest time, but eventually… I guess I just realized that B is the type of dad I deserved - one who loves me. No matter what.”

“You absolutely deserve that," Roy agrees.

Jason smiles, eyes wet. “Enough about me. Update me on the little princess. Tell me everything.”

So Roy does, and Jason smiles the entire time.

“So, I could use some help with something,” Jason says as they walk back to his room after lunch.

“Sure, anything you need.”

“I need a new persona.”

“Oh?”

“Robin’s… gone.”

“Ok. Got anything yet?”

“I've been bouncing a couple ideas around in my head but nothing solid.”

When they get back to his room, Jason walks up to his desk and digs through the bottom drawer for the sketchbook he used when he was designing his own Robin suit. He finds it and the colored pencils and grabs them out, returning to his bed - kicking off his shoes as he goes - and sitting back up against the headboard. Roy walks around to sit over beside him. 

“Ok, let’s hear ‘em then.”

“I’ve only thought of two really. So, that pasty piece of shit used to go by Red Hood. And I thought maybe I’ll steal the name and use it for good. He took something from me, so I’ll take something from him.” Saving people as the old name of the mass murdering fucker that caused a death that was a catalyst for the name change to begin with? Hell yeah. It's downright poetic.

“I don’t hate it, actually,” Roy says. “Design?”

“Dark body armor with a dark red bat symbol, and a dark red helmet with a full HUD and stuff. No cape. Might wanna use firearms? But like, nonlethal, obviously.” 

Jason knows he's a damn good shot. Hell, he shot through Scarecrow’s palm to save Nightwing. Plus, it's a significantly faster ranged weapon than birdarangs. And to be perfectly honest… he would feel safer out there with it. If he'd had a gun in Ethiopia… well, he wouldn't be thinking about any of this at all.

“That sounds… pretty damn cool. The other?”

“Flamebird, Nightwing’s opposite. Thinking similar design to ‘Wing, but dark red instead of blue, and more armor. In Kryptonian legend they're romantic partners, but, whatever, it's just a name,” he shrugs. “Point is they're an unbreakable pair. Dick and I would be great vigilante partners, and I look up to him so much. I mean, he's Nightwing. He's amazing. I would love to be his Flamebird.”

They would absolutely kick ass together, and they'd laugh while doing it, too. No one would stand a chance. And they'd protect each other just as fiercely as their namesakes. Jason would keep Dick safe no matter what.

“Dick would love that. And would definitely cry. Like a lot,” Roy laughs.

“Yeah,” Jason grins, “he would.” His grin falters. “But I just… I wish I could honor Tim with the name somehow.”

“Well… Drake means dragon, right? Maybe you could do something with that,” Roy suggests.

“Well I certainly won’t be calling myself Dragon. Can’t be Draco cause everyone would just think of Harry Potter.”

“Norbert.”

Jason laughs, “Oh my god, no!”

“Darn. Draconis?”

“Thanks, I hate it. Isn’t there a dragon constellation? Maybe one of the stars in it has a good name?”

Roy pulls out his phone and googles it for him. “Mm, not loving the options there,” he says, showing him his phone. 

Aldhibah, Alrakis, Alruba, Alsafi, Altais, Athebyne, Dziban, Edasich, Eltanin, Fafnir, Funi, Giausar, Grumium, Rastaban, Taiyi, Thuban, and Tianyi

“Agreed. Is there a Chinese dragon constellation?”

Roy makes a curious sound and looks it up. “‘The Azure Dragon,’” he mutters, silent for several seconds as he reads through the page. “...oh. That’s… pretty good. It’s kind of a convoluted name idea and I don’t think anyone will get it without an explanation, but… it’s definitely original.”

“Oh get on with it,” he groans.

“Sorry. Ok, so there’s these seven ‘mansions’ they call them, that are basically just lunar positions within the Azure Dragon. The fifth mansion is when the moon is near Antares. The name of the mansion itself is, uh, X-I-N, which… it means heart. So, like - if I'm understanding this correctly - Antares is the heart of the Blue Dragon,” he says gently.

“Oh,” Jason whispers, eyes filling with tears. “So if Drake means dragon, a-and I’m Antares…”

“You're Tim’s heart,” Roy murmurs.

“Plus his blue eyes… fuck. Is that too much? It feels like too much.”

“Wait a sec… when’s his birthday?”

“10/24,” Jason sniffs.

“That's… thought so,” Roy mutters to himself, looking at his phone. “Feels like a sign - ha! literally - anyway.”

Jason elbows him. 

“Ok, ok. In Western astrology, Antares is the heart of the scorpion. Tim's birthday is the first date of Scorpio.”

“Holy shit,” Jason whispers. It lines up a little too well.  “I… I dunno. It’s definitely different. But…” It’s weird, right? …right? Or is it a nice tribute?

“And it means rival to Ares, aka Mars, and being a rival to war personified is kinda dope. Plus, it’s a red giant and red is like, your thing.”

“I'm… not sure if I'm big enough for a name like that.”

“What does that even mean?”

“That just, it sounds like a ‘big guy’ name. I'm 5’5. I'm a fuckin’ shrimp.”

“You're only sixteen, you still got a couple years to grow. Plus, Mars is the second smallest planet - or third if you're a Pluto stan.”

Jason scoffs. “There are moons bigger than Pluto.”

“Oh ok, a hater then.”

“Shut up,” Jason groans.

 Roy laughs quietly. “Anyway… just a thought.”

“I think the reason for the name is just complicated enough that he would appreciate it.”

“Exactly.”

“Roy?”

“Hm?”

Jason sniffles. “Tim was my Antares,” he says, voice breaking. Great. He's crying. A-gain. Over a star.

“Oh, kiddo…” Roy sighs sadly, “c'mere.”

Jason hugs him and cries into his shoulder. “It, it… i-it feels like, l-like he took my heart with him a-and there's just- ‘s just a f-fucking hole in my chest and I dunno if it's ever gonna close!”

“It's only been a few days, Jaybird. You're not gonna be even close to ok yet.”

“I'm so tired of crying,” he sobs.

“I know. Shhhh, I got you. Shhhshshsh. Healing’s gonna be a long road, but me and your family are going to support you the entire time. You will never be alone. We love you.”

“I'm just so sad. I don't wanna wait, I wanna be happy now!”

“The only way to do that would be to forget him entirely. And I know you don't want that.”

“No,” he agrees, “never. I'm just, I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired of loss.”

“It sucks, yeah. Just… let it out.”

Jason cries himself out in only a couple minutes, and finally lets go of Roy to rub his face with his sleeves. “Fucking… god.”

“Crying’s good for you.”

“Then I should be fit as a goddamn fiddle.”

Roy chuckles. “Yeah. So, how we feeling about Antares?”

“I gotta think about it some more.”

“Fair enough. Personally I think it's a pretty stellar name.”

Jason gives Roy the most withering stare that he is capable of, and even manages to hold it for about two seconds before the laughter takes over. “That's so bad, oh my god! Roy!"

Roy looks exceptionally smug. “Gotcha.” Oh, that conniving little shit.

“Oh god, poor Lian! Is this what she's in store for? Jokes like that? Ugh!”

“You're the one laughing!”

“You're unbelievable,” Jason grins, lightly shoving him. “God.”

“If it made you laugh, I don't care how bad it was. It was worth it.”

“Thanks,” Jason smiles.

“Anytime. So, what about an Earth bird?”

“Huh?”

“For your name. Bluebirds are related to Robins, so…”

“No way. Bluebirds are too… sweet.”

“...ok, good point. Bluejay? Bluejays are dicks.”

Jason snorts. “Thanks, Roy.”

“And they're extremely intelligent, so, you're welcome.” 

“Blue’s just… it’s not for me.”

“What about… Cardinal?”

“A red bird… and the name implies something essential. Hm. That goes in the maybe column.”

Roy suddenly gasps. “I’ve got it! The perfect name.”

Jason can already tell it’s gonna be absolute trash. Why does he love this man like another brother? He’s insufferable.

“The Librarian!” Roy grins.

Jason facepalms. “I’m so fucking done with you, I swear to god.”

Roy starts speaking in a deep, movie voiceover tone. “They say you can feel his stare from across the city. No villain that speaks is safe!”

“I am begging you to stop,” Jason says dryly.

“There will be no monologues of villainy! Because at any time, The Librarian will appear behind you with his terrifying shush!”

Jason slaps a hand over his own mouth to hide his quivering lip.

“The bravest of villains shake in utter terror at even the thought! And if you run…”

Jason bites said lip, eyes starting to water.

“You’ll never be able to escape his deadliest weapon - his bookarangs!”

Jason drops his hand and rolls to his side, curling up as he starts howling with laughter. “You’re so… f-fucking stupid!” he cackles, tears escaping his eyes, “Bookarangs?!”

“Think books aren't scary? Think again!” Roy continues.

“Oh my god!”

“But, you know his greatest weaknesses?” Roy whispers conspiratorially.

“Doooon’t.”

“Breaking the Dewey Decimal system!” he says, back in voiceover mode, “and, if you’re quiet, he can no longer see you! Ahhhhahahaha!” he laughs in his best impression of a mad scientist.

Jason is still crying with laughter and smacking Roy’s shoulder. “Stop, I can’t breathe,” he laughs, “make it stop, it’s too much.”

“And the last thing you hear before he takes you down is his menacing slogan: crack a book!”

Jason grabs a pillow and smacks Roy in the face. “Roy W-William Harper, you are impossible,” he gasps, chest heaving from laughter and god, it feels great, but that was ridiculous. The worst part is, it wouldn’t even be the worst name to come out of Gotham. Not even close, frankly. Jason works to catch his breath as he wipes his eyes. He really, really needed that. It’s the hardest he’s laughed by far since waking.

Roy tosses the pillow aside with a laugh and ruffles his hair. “All for you, kiddo.”

“I love you man,” Jason huffs, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“I love you too, Jaybird. You're the little brother I didn't ask for but now couldn't live without.”

“Me too. I'm… I'm glad I'm not dead,” he admits. 

“I'm glad too.”

“But I hate the reason why,” he whispers.

“Yeah.”

“Got any other names?”

“Todd.”

“...who the fuck creates a hero identity out of their last name? Like hey, here's a flashing neon sign displaying my secret identity. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.”

“But whenever you save someone they could say ‘oh, thank Todd!’”

“Ok, I guess my previous statement was a lie.”

“Mr. Darcy.”

“I will kick you out of this house.”

“New thought! Insulting Jane Austen will send The Librarian into a blind rage.”

“For fuck's…”

“Captain Nemo.”

“No.”

“Long John Silver.”

“Maybe if I lose a leg.”

“Gatsby.”

“Ew.”

“Gandalf.”

“Are you literally just calling out random characters?”

“Absolutely - Scrooge McDuck.”

“Please for the love of all that is holy tell me you know that's not his literary name. I am begging you.”

“Yes I know that! Come on, dude.”

“Hell if I know.”

A small cry from Lian interrupts them. “She's probably hungry,” Roy remarks.

“Can I feed her?”

“Be my guest,” Roy shrugs, “there's a bottle in the diaper bag with formula in it. Just add warm water and shake. She also might need a fresh diaper.”

“I got it,” Jason assures him, slipping off the bed, out of the room, and padding down the hallway. He steps into the makeshift nursery and walks up to the crib. She stops crying when she sees him. 

“Hi darling,” he greets her. “Gotta wash my hands, but I'll be right back.” He steps into the ensuite bathroom, washes his hands, then returns to the bedroom, grabs out the bottle, then fills it up with warm water and shakes it to dissolve the formula. 

He sets it on the side table beside a recliner, then returns to Lian, reaching down to undo the sides of the diaper and take a peek. It's dry. He closes it back up and runs a couple fingers through her hair. Then he plucks Lian out of her crib and carries her over to the chair, sitting down with her. 

“Alright princess, time to eat.” He cradles her securely before grabbing the bottle and bringing it to her mouth. She opens her mouth expectantly and Jason chuckles, giving her the bottle. She wraps a tiny hand around it and Jason's melting all over again. “You are stupid cute. Thanks for cheering me up.”

He tells her more stories about Tim while she eats. Not that she cares or understands, but it feels good to talk about him. He should probably write all these memories down so he never forgets. It would help him heal, he knows it would.

“I'll get through it,” he tells her, “I've got you, your dad, not to mention Bruce, Dick, Alfie, the Titans, the League - oh, good job! You finished!” He sets the bottle aside and stands with Lian, giving her a kiss on the cheek again. “Wanna go see your daddy?” 

“Ack!” She chirps. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Jason walks back to his room where Roy is still chilling on the bed, scrolling through his phone. “She was a perfect little angel,” he announces.

“Obviously,” Roy grins, setting his phone aside and holding out his arms. Jason hands her over and her dad peppers kisses all over her face. “Oh! My perfect sweet darling beautiful precious baby!”

“She's the cutest damn baby I've ever seen.”

“I know,” Roy laughs, then sighs. “Unfortunately…”

“You gotta head out?” Jason guesses with a frown. 

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Long as you come back soon, ok?”

“Please, couldn't keep me away if you tried.” Roy lays Lian down in the center of the bed and stands, walking around to Jason. They embrace tightly.

Jason tears up. “Thanks for coming to see me. Really needed the pick-me-up. This is, just… it's hell. I know you're busy with her, I know coming took effort.”

“You needed me,” Roy says simply, “I didn't even have to think about it.”

“I miss him so much,” he rasps.

“I know,” Roy murmurs, “I'm sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“You're welcome.” Roy kisses the top of his head again, and then pulls away. 

Jason picks Lian up from the bed and pecks her on the forehead. “Bye baby girl.” He hands her to Roy. 

“Well, we’re off then. Bye Jason. Love you.”

“I love you too.”

Roy smiles at him and then heads out. 

Jason sighs and wipes his eyes, moving back to his bed. He grabs his sketchbook and starts drawing Red Hood’s suit. He’ll also draw Flamebird, Antares, and Cardinal. He's not fully sold on any of them yet, but he thinks he'll be able to make a decision if he sees them all. He’ll also draw The Librarian. Just for Roy. He laughs quietly to himself at the thought. Ridiculous. 

He actually, finally, feels like there's a path towards healing. A long path, but, it's there. It's finally there.

Chapter Text

“So Alfred said Tim said you could have his stuff?”

“Yeah,” Jason sighs, holding the picture of himself, Tim, Dick, and Wally in front of Sleeping Beauty castle in Disneyland. “He was so happy,” he murmurs.

“It was really cute,” Dick agrees, wrapping an arm around Jason from the side for support. Tim is practically glowing in the picture. The happiness is just radiating off of him. It nearly takes Jason’s breath away.

“And two months later he was gone forever,” Jason whispers, sniffling, “it's not fair.”

“You gave him the greatest moments of his life, Jason.”

“And the worst moment. His last moment,“ Jason mutters, moving away from his brother to sit on the edge of Tim’s bed. He lays the picture frame down beside him and wipes his eyes. “We were supposed to take him to Disney World this year but he's fucking dead.”

Dick sighs and sits down beside him. “I know.”

“He's never gonna get to go!”

“Maybe… we could go for him?”

Jason shakes his head. “I won't go without him. I can't.”

“Maybe one of the others? Just not World?”

Picking up the photo again, he sighs tiredly. “I'll think about it.”

“Ok.”

Jason stands and walks over to Tim's desk, grabbing the picture of the two of them with Mickey. “He kissed me when we got back from Disneyland.”

“...and you still didn't figure out that he liked you?”

“In my defense it was on the cheek.”

“Little Wing,” Dick groans, “come on. The only person I kiss on the cheek is Wally.”

“In my second defense I'm dumb.”

“You're not dumb. Just… occasionally clueless.”

Jason scoffs. “As if.”

“Did you just…?”

“Yeah,” Jason chuckles, “anyway, I'm gonna go put this in my room. You want the one of the four of us?”

“Sure. Thanks Jay,” Dick says, carefully taking it from him.

Jason carries the Mickey photo across the hall and into his bedroom, placing it on his desk. He’ll get to see him every time he's working there. “I hate this,” he whispers, “I fucking hate it.” He sighs tiredly and returns to Tim’s room.

“Clothes?” Dick suggests.

“Sure,” Jason shrugs, “but keep his navy jacket, sneakers, and everything from Disneyland.”

“Got it.”

They move quickly through his clothes and have a sizable donation pile ready by the end of it. 

“I'll grab a duffel bag and pack up all the clothes for donating,” Dick tells him, slipping out of the room.

Jason walks to Tim’s desk and sits down, going through everything on top of the desk as Dick walks back in with the bag and starts filling it. Jason then goes through the desk drawers, and the nearby backpack after that. 

The backpack is the most disorganized thing Jason has ever seen. Papers randomly shoved into it - tests, worksheets, etc. A few notebooks with notes, a couple open to the last page, Tim’s terrible handwriting on full display. He quickly skims through them, and upon finding nothing important, tosses them into the trash can. 

He pulls out Macbeth and The Odyssey, and adds them to Tim’s bookshelf. 

He pulls out some writing utensils and keeps them for himself. Might as well use them before throwing them out. The graphing calculator can be donated. Tim doesn't have anywhere to write down assignments and due dates, the heathen. Probably just remembered everything. What a nerd.

He hands the empty backpack to Dick. “All clear.”

Dick nods and takes it. 

Jason grabs Tim's phone and laptop, carrying them over to the bed and sitting down with them. Dick sits beside him for comfort. 

He taps the phone and pauses at the passcode screen. Hm… what day did they meet?

1 0 0 5

It unlocks, and he ignores the pang in his chest. He looks through the phone first, checking notes for anything important, and then checking the gallery for any photos to save. 

There's a ton. Luckily, Tim had everything uploaded to his WayneCloud account. Jason emails himself the link, then he pulls out his phone, pulls up the photos, and sets his phone to download them all to his gallery.

He sets both phones aside and moves to the laptop. All his documents are also uploaded, so those are safe. He's tempted to look at his web history, but manages to refrain. He knows the hard drive with all his photos, and his cameras are in the Batcave with Tim’s secondary laptop. 

“Dickie?” he asks, looking to his side.

“Mm?” his brother responds, setting his phone down.

“Can you grab Tim’s cameras from the basement?”

“Sure,” Dick says, leaving.

Jason pockets his own phone, shuts the laptop, and carries it and the phone back to Tim’s desk, setting them down. 

He steps over to the LEGO Millennium Falcon that they built together and fights to hold back a sob. He has an urge to pick the whole thing up and shatter it against the wall. But he won't do that to Tim. This is definitely going in Jason’s room.

Jason wipes his eyes yet again and moves to Tim’s bedside table, opening the drawer. 

“Huh,” he mutters, pulling out a sheet of paper folded and placed under the bag of 100 glow in the dark dots he gave Tim that were never put up. He sits on the edge of the bed as he unfolds it. It's a circle, with the cardinal directions, a bunch of numbers randomly placed within it, and a handful of names written down. There's a square drawn around it. He looks at the URL on the bottom of the page.

Jason immediately starts crying. It's a star map from the day they met, numbered 1-100, with some of the star names written down.

“God, you sappy little fuck,” Jason momentarily laughs before continuing to cry. 

“Hell I miss?” Dick mutters, sitting down beside Jason and wrapping an arm around him. Jason shows him the paper, nodding at the web address. “Oh Timmy…” 

Jason nods, sniffling. The little shit was figuring out where to put the dots on the ceiling to mirror the night sky on the day they met.

“Let's put them up later, hm?”

“Yeah?” Jason rasps, giving his brother a tiny smile.

“Yeah,” Dick nods.

Jason slips the paper back into the drawer and closes it. “Tired of this,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

“I know.”

“Hey, do uh… do you think Zatanna could make Tim's Disneyland jacket fit me?”

“I'm sure she could. I'll take it to her and ask.”

“Thanks.”

“We got an update from Lucius. Your new suit should be done in about a week. Still wouldn't show us or tell us.”

“Good,” Jason chuckles, “it's a surprise.”

“I can't wait to see you in it.”

“Yeah. It's a good one.”

“This feels like a first look,” Dick mutters, facing away from Jason. 

Jason laughs. “I mean, it literally is. It's your first look at my new suit. And don't start sobbing, I'm not Flamebird. Now turn around.”

Dick quickly turns around and gasps. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah?” Jason grins, not that Dick can see it.

“Tell me tell me tell me!”

“Cardinal.”

“Ok, tell me about it!”

“I was bouncing between several ideas, when I decided to use parts of all of them. I considered Flamebird. I would love to be your partner out there. But I wanted the name to honor Tim, that's the only reason I didn't choose it. But I used your Nightwing symbol, but made it yellow for Flamebird.”

Dick rests his hand on the logo. “I love it,” he murmurs, and then pulls his hand back. “And this?” He asks, knocking on the red helmet.

Jason chuckles as he unseals the helmet with a quiet hiss, and then pulls it off his head.

“You have a domino under the helmet?”

“Yeah, just in case,” he shrugs, then lightly shakes the helmet.“This is Red Hood. Joker stole from me, so I'm gonna steal from him and use it to do good.”

“I see. I'm… glad you didn't pick that one for your whole persona though. What's with this?” Dick asks, poking what are essentially half bandoliers sewn into the suit, a vivid yellow.

“It's meant to look like a scorpion's armor plates,” he explains, setting the helmet down on the counter.

“Oh, neat. …why?”

“I had another suit idea. Antares. Tim's a Scorpio, and the star Antares is called the heart of the scorpion. It's also the heart of the blue dragon in Chinese astrology. Drake, dragon. Anyway it was too much but I found a way to still give it a nod.”

“Thats... incredibly obscure. It is a cool name. But yeah. It's just… it's not you.”

“Roy said I should be ‘The Librarian’ and throw book-a-rangs. Don't worry, none of that’s included in this suit.”

Dick snorts. “I don't hate it.”

“I still drew a mockup of it. I'll show you later,” Jason laughs, “but yeah, I stuck with Cardinal.”

“What made you pick it?”

“Some people believe a red cardinal means a lost loved one is with them in spirit, or is sending a message. So I'm Cardinal.”

“Because Tim is with you,” Dick murmurs in realization, “wow.” He tears up. “That's beautiful Jay.”

“I know it's kinda cheesy, but… it fits. Tim's always with me.”

“And always will be,” Dick continues. 

“Especially now.”

Dick nods. “I love this. All these yellow accents, that belt, the molded abs, I mean you look fine. And that cape! The red to yellow gradient is fucking awesome. Ooh, do a twirl!”

Jason laughs and spins in a circle.

“Tim would love it,” Dick says softly.

“You think so?”

“Absolutely. You look hot, Little Wing.”

Jason wrinkles his nose. “Don't make it weird Dickie.”

“Timmy would’ve passed out if he ever saw you in this.”

“Cardinal and Robin. Nice ring to it,” Jason mutters. 

“You would've been incredible together.”

“Wish we'd gotten the chance,” he sighs, looking over towards Tim's memorial.

“Me too,” Dick says softly. 

“Hey Timmers,” Jason murmurs, sitting crisscross at his grave, “I just got my new suit. I'm gonna go by Cardinal now. It's pretty cool. You'd like it, I think. Bruce isn't gonna let me out for months though, which is fair enough I guess. I have a lot of strength training and stuff to do before I'm ready to get back out there.”

He unzips his backpack and pulls out Dracula. “Anyway, I have a shit ton of schoolwork to catch up on, so I thought I'd do it here. I… I don't know. I just miss you.” He sighs and opens the book, pretending he's just quietly reading a book beside Tim in his room, like they used to.

Jason looks around, sees no one, and scurries far up the side of the tulip poplar tree above Tim’s grave, finding a large enough branch to sit on and lean back against the trunk. He pulls out his laptop and opens it, working on his essay for History class.

Jason is back in Tim’s tree, plucking the little tulip-shaped flowers off of it. Once he has ten, he climbs back down and arranges them around Tim’s nameplate. “I know these aren't actual tulips, but… I don't know. I thought it might make you smile. If you can see it from wherever you are. If anywhere. But I hope there's a somewhere.” 

Jason climbs back up to his new favorite spot, hugs his knees to his chest, and cries.

Jason traces Tim’s name with the tip of his trembling finger through the fresh headstone. It's pure marble, and it's beautiful even if it absolutely breaks his heart all over again. “Rich people,” he mutters, “better not be marble wasted on me when I kick it.”

He finishes the e in Drake and pulls his hand back with a tired sigh, staunchly ignoring the tears slipping out of his eyes.

“Can't believe you've already been gone for six months. Well, six months and a couple days. You've… you've been gone longer than the amount of time I got to spend with you, and that's… so unfair. Not sure what I expected at six months, but everything's still the same. The grass on your grave is still flawless. The tree continues to shade it. I still cry sometimes. Anyway, I'm finally going out this week as Cardinal. I'll tell you all about it at your birthday. So. Yeah. I love you, Tim. And thank you. See ya soon.” Jason kisses his palm and lays it over Tim's name. “Bye.”

He walks back to his car, unlocks it and gets in, cranks it to get the AC going, and sobs.

“Ready to fly, Cardinal?” Nightwing grins.

Cardinal smiles and hugs his brother. “With you at my side, I'm always ready.”

“Jay, stop, oh my god, my heart can only take so much.”

“This is your fault. You made me a sap.”

“Quit lying Little Wing. You've always been a sap,”

“Whatever,” he grumbles, handing Nightwing his helmet. “Hold this.”

He walks over to Tim’s memorial and sighs, resting his forehead against the glass. “You'll be with me all night, Babybird,” he whispers, taking a couple deep breaths before pulling away and returning to his brother.

“Definitely not a sap,” Nightwing chuckles, handing him his helmet.

“Fine, fine, I'm a sap,” Cardinal scowls, starting to put the helmet on. “Dad! We're leaving.”

“Absolutely not,” Batman says, materializing from the shadows.

Cardinal frowns and tosses the helmet back to Nightwing. “But-” He said he could.

“I haven't been hugged yet,” Batman continues.

Cardinal sags in relief and throws his arms around his dad. “Thought you weren't gonna let me.”

“No,” Batman chuckles, “you deserve it. I am incredibly proud of you, Jaylad. I know you'll be safe with your brother. Just remember-”

“Clark and Barry are on standby and you’ll be close by all night. I know. Can I go now?”

Batman tightens his hold and presses a firm kiss to the top of Cardinal’s head. “I love you so much, Jason.”

“I love you too, dad,“ he smiles. 

“Alright. Go kick butt,” Batman says, releasing him from the hug.

Cardinal laughs and walks back to Nightwing, grabbing his helmet and throwing it on as Nightwing goes to hug Batman too. He throws his leg over his bike and waits for his brother.

Nightwing literally skips over to him and hops onto his own bike. “Let's get it!” he yells, gunning it out of the cave. 

Cardinal launches colorful insults at Nightwing as he guns it after him.

They park their bikes in Crest Hill and grapple into Crime Alley, racing and laughing across the rooftops. 

And then they hit one particular rooftop and Cardinal freezes. He knows this rooftop. But why?

He glances at the edge of the roof and visualizes a black-haired boy sitting there, flicking through photos on his digital camera.

“I'm more partial to Robin, myself,” Cardinal whispers to the nonexistent ghost as he slowly walks over.

“You ok, Card?”

“Don't freak out,” he mutters, and then dives off the side of the building. He can still feel Tim’s warm little body held tightly in his arm as he grapples onto the next roof.

He walks over to the AC unit and sits down beside it, tearing off his helmet and tossing it to the side. Nightwing lands lightly on the roof and walks over to him, sitting down beside him. “Sooo. Care to explain?”

“I’m more partial to Robin, myself,” Robin says casually. 

Camera kid shrieks and jumps to his feet, body whipping around to see who’s there. Jason can see what's about to happen just from how sharply he turns, and dives towards him with some choice language right as he falls over the edge.

His body smacks into the kid diagonally and he throws an arm around him and squeezes as tightly as he can. With his free hand he fires his grapple and swings them up onto another rooftop. When they hit the roof Robin releases the grapple and throws his second arm around the kid to hug him.

“Oh my god,” the kid whispers, and starts violently trembling. Poor thing must be scared half to death. Great job Robin, A+. Terrorize a baby.

Guilt floods Robin and he panics. “Oh, oh god it’s ok! You’re ok, kid, I am so sorry, holy crap!”

“I WAS JUST SAVED BY ROBIN THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!” He screams, voice high and shrill but unmistakably happy. 

And just… what? Robin releases him and steps back. Good god he’s shaking from excitement. 

His cheeks are flushed and he’s nearly jumping up and down with joy. The smile on his face easily surpasses Nightwing’s. It’s like a Super Trouper right to the face - blinding. 

Robin stares at him in a stunned silence before he remembers that words exist. “What is wrong with you?!” 

Ok those weren’t the words he wanted. Dang it. Not that the kid looks a bit sadder by them.

“Why are you sitting on the edge of rooftops?!”

Better words. The kid keeps beaming at him and vibrating.

“I thought I just murdered a child! Why are you handling this better than me?!” Jason’s traumatized, and Tiny here is having the time of his life.

“Because this is the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me!”

“Almost dying??” Unbelievable! 

“But I didn’t! ‘Cause of you!” The happiness pouring off of this kid has Robin more than a little concerned about their mental state. 

The kid eyes the edge of the roof again, a dangerous glint in their eye. 

“Absolutely not!” Robin screams, throwing himself back into a hug with the boy and dragging him away from the edge. 

“Oh... No, yeah this is much better than falling Robin’s hugging me holy crap,” he mutters to himself, giddy as ever. 

“I’m going to let you go. Please do not jump, you’ll give me an actual heart attack.”

The kid deflates a little but says ok. 

Robin lets him go and plops down beside an AC vent. “C’mere, show me what else you got,” he says, gesturing at the camera. 

Aaaaaand the giddiness is back, full force. The kid quickly sits beside him. 

“Hey, what’s your name? I’m tired of calling you ‘the kid’ in my head,” Robin chuckles. 

“Timothy. Um. Drake. My friends call me Tim, at least they would if I had any friends."

"-and he, he showed me his pictures. This is the first place we talked,” he says, voice breaking. He pulls off his domino and cries into his big brother's chest.

“Jay,” Nightwing whispers sadly, holding him tightly and rubbing his back. “I've got ya. I'm here.”

“I'm never g-gonna stop crying,” he wails, “I don't know how!”

“You're still healing, and you got triggered. It happens. There's nothing wrong with you.”

Jason cries himself dry and then takes several deep breaths before pulling away from his brother, drying his eyes, slapping his domino back on, and putting on his helmet. 

“Sorry,” Cardinal mumbles, “needed a minute.”

“We all need a minute sometimes,” Nightwing smiles, squeezing his shoulder. “Good to continue?”

“Yeah.”

“Lead on.”

Cardinal laughs quietly and grapples away.

“Batman to Cardinal and Nightwing.”

“Whatcha got?” Nightwing chirps.

“I have unverified reports of some kind of underground fighting ring in the Narrows. Westwood and Hermitage. You mind looking into it for me?”

“You got it, DaddyBats.”

“Gross,” Cardinal mutters.

Batman sighs in exasperation and Nightwing laughs.

Cardinal and Nightwing are crouched on a neighboring rooftop, the former looking through 'Bat-noculars' into the building when he sees- oh shit.

“‘Wing… it's not… it's not people,” Cardinal says, voice shaking. He hands the binoculars to Nightwing.

Nightwing growls. “I hate humanity. Will you be ok? We have to stop this.”

“Yes, let's go.”

They grapple over, landing silently on the roof, and then creep over to the skylight, opening it as slowly and carefully as possible. 

‘Ready?’ Nightwing mouths, pulling out his escrima sticks.

Cardinal nods and jumps in, Nightwing right behind him. They don't even make any quips, they just instantly tranq the canines and then start taking everyone down and zip-tying their wrists together. They move quickly through the twenty or so people around the ring and in the back of the warehouse.

“Cardinal to Cave, send GCPD to our location. Send Animal Control, too.”

“Understood. Cave out.”

“We got another door here,” Nightwing calls, gesturing Cardinal over. “Think it's a kennel.”

“Jesus, ok. Let's go rescue them,” he says, carefully opening the door. There's a hallway lined with kennels. The closest kennel is filled with-

Cardinal frantically yanks off his helmet, dives out of the room, and promptly loses his dinner all over the floor. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, they're evil. They're fucking evil, Wing. Jesus fuck,” he gasps, shakily rising to his feet.

“Oh dear god,” Nightwing says with a gag, sharply turning away. 

Cardinal leaves his helmet and rejoins him, refusing to look that way again. “Ok, let's sedate the ones that are… alive.”

Cardinal takes the left side, Nightwing takes the right, and they walk down the hall, tranqing the dogs. Some bark, or growl. Some whimper and cower in the corner. It's despicable. They're all too thin, too dirty. They're scarred, some are bleeding. Cardinal wants to feed the men responsible to Waylon.

They finish and Cardinal slumps against Nightwing, crying again. “Dickie,” he whispers, trembling, “Why? Why are people like this? They're dogs. They're innocent!” he sobs.

“Money,” Nightwing sighs, kissing the top of his head, “let's get outta here. I think we should call it a night.”

“No, I, I'm fine,” he sniffles, pulling away.

“You’re not,” Nightwing says gently, “You've broken down twice, which is one hundred percent ok. And it's ok to ease back into this. You were amazing back there, taking those guys down. Shit, I don't even want to keep going after this.”

“I… yeah, ok. Let's go.”

Nightwing keeps a comforting hand on his back as they walk back down the hall. Right as they're about to walk through the doorway, they hear a tiny whimper coming from the… the first cage.

“I got it,” Cardinal says, ignoring the disgusting scene that he has to enter as he picks the lock and opens the cage, stepping inside. He slowly sinks to his knees, looking around. “Where are you, baby?”

“Mama,” Nightwing murmurs.

Cardinal turns to the deceased mother and sees a tiny snout peeking out from under her front legs. “Hi there little one,” he coos quietly, slowly reaching forward to lift up the larger paw with one hand and carefully slip the other hand under the puppy and lift it away. The puppy whines and cowers. It bites Cardinal’s gloved thumb out of fear. He just chuckles, barely even feeling the pressure of it. 

“Aren't you just the… uh…” He lifts the puppy up higher and looks between their hind legs, and then lowers them. “The handsomest little guy,” he murmurs, lightly running a hand down the trembling pup’s back. The dog continues whimpering, breaking Jason’s heart.

“Shhhh, it's ok. You're safe,” he says softly, “I'll never hurt you. Oh, you sweet little thing. You've barely been weaned, have you?”

“Jay,” Nightwing whispers, “cops will be here soon. He's evidence.”

“But…”

“If he isn't here they'll never know,” he adds pointedly, tapping his gauntlet and summoning their bikes.

“Oh.” He looks back down. “Do, um… do you want to say goodbye?” Cardinal starts crying again, lowering Pup to his mother. Pup licks her nose and cries. Cardinal moves him to his unmoving siblings and he noses at them. “I'm sorry,” he says, forcing down a sob, “I'm so sorry. I'll love you, I promise.” He pulls Pup back to his chest and rises to his feet, stepping out of the cage.

Nightwing reaches forward and lets Pup sniff his gloves, then runs a finger down his back. “Pretty little guy,” he murmurs.

“Tim really is here,” Cardinal sniffles.

“Yeah?”

“This is his favorite breed. And favorite color of them.”

“A golden?”

“Yeah. Pretty little auburn one like this.”

“Here, let me help you secure him with the cape.”

“Oh, thanks.”

Nightwing carefully pulls the cape around and wraps up the puppy, tucking the cape back behind Cardinal into his belt. It's like a little baby wrap. His head sticks out of the top, just below Cardinal’s chin. He pecks the top of Pup’s head.

“I'll see you at home after the cops come, alright?”

“Yeah. Thanks. See ya soon.”

“Wait,” Nightwing adds, quickly stepping out of the room and returning with Cardinal’s helmet, plopping it onto his head.

“‘preciate it.” He walks out of that grotesque warehouse right as their bikes turn the corner at the end of the street, rushing down to their location. Cardinal wastes no time getting on, hearing sirens gradually getting louder. He mumbles more comforting words to Pup, and then accelerates away, back to the cave.

“Cardinal to Batman. I'm heading home.”

“Are you alright?”

“Physically, yes. It… B, it wasn't a human fighting ring.”

“Oh. Honey, if I'd known I never would've- I'm so sorry.”

“I know. It's alright. I may have absconded with a particularly fluffy piece of evidence?”

Batman sighs, but it's unmistakeably fond. “Well, I look forward to meeting them.”

“I think it's gonna be a lot of work… but I'll take full responsibility, I promise.”

“I know, I trust you. See you later. Batman out.”

“Cardinal out.” He races back to the cave, still murming to the puppy as he does. When they get there, he cuts the engine and climbs off his bike, strolling towards the computer.

“Alfred, I brought you a new grandson.”

Alfred looks over with a brutally sharp eyebrow. “Did you now?”

Cardinal removes his helmet and mask, setting them on the desk. Jason feels behind himself to untuck the cape and then unwrap the now sleeping Pup. “Definitely your most handsome one, don't ya think?”

Alfred hums affirmatively. “And what is said grandson’s name, pray tell?”

Jason looks down. “Yeah I guess I should stop calling him Pup in my head…”

A tick in the corner of Alfred’s mouth betrays his amusement while he continues acting like he isn't staring at the cutest thing in the world.

“His name is, um…”

It hits him.

“Alfred, this is Terry.”

“Welcome to the family, Master Terry.”

Chapter Text

“Time for the worst birthday party ever,” Jason mutters, stepping out of Dick's car with a pizza box in hand.

“Pretty much,“ Dick agrees, box of cupcakes in one hand and a legitimate picnic basket in the other. 

“Do you think doing this is hurting my healing?” Jason asks quietly, as they walk through the gates of Gotham Cemetery and towards Tim’s grave. “Dinah said it wasn't, but you know me way better than her.”

“I think… I agree with her. You'll probably be more upset than usual for a week or so, but you've come so far that a couple steps back isn't gonna ruin all your progress. Plus, it's his birthday whether we're here or at the manor.”

Jason nods. “Yeah, I just… sometimes I feel ridiculous for still crying over him. I barely knew him.”

“Bullshit.”

“What?”

“Jason, you knew him better than anyone in the universe. And he knew you better than anyone in the universe. The length of a friendship doesn't define the depth of it. I don't think crying about losing that is even remotely ridiculous,” he says gently.

“Guess that's true,” he says quietly, “I don't cry often anyway. I'm mostly happy now instead of mostly heartbroken. I'm still working with Dinah on the guilt and regret and everything but most of it I've accepted, and Terry’s been a huge help in only two days, anyway. But now I've hit that stage of feeling guilty when I'm not upset.”

Dick shrugs. “Grief is hard, Little Wing.”

“I hate it.”

“Me too. Anyway… hi Timmy!”

“Happy birthday, Babybird,” Jason murmurs to his headstone.

Dick sets down the cupcakes and picnic basket, then opens the basket and pulls out a blanket, laying it on the ground over his grave. Jason sets the pizza box down on the blanket and then sits down on one side of Tim’s headstone while Dick sits on the other.

Dick pulls a picture out of the basket and leans it against the headstone - the three of them in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle. Then he pulls out the party hat from last year that Tim had kept and hands it to Jason, who sets it on top of the stone. A bottle of Coke is placed beside the photo, then a mini red velvet cupcake with a birthday candle in it, and finally a paper plate. Jason opens the pizza box, pulls out a thin slice, and sets it on the plate. 

Then Dick gets out the plates, napkins, and Cokes for him and Jason, moving over to sit beside him and placing the pizza box in front of them. They each take a slice out.

“I'm doing this because I love you, Tim, even if it’ vile,” Dick grumbles, grimacing before taking a bite of the pineapple pizza. He swallows the bite and then he starts pouting. 

Jason laughs. “You like it, don't you!” 

“No,” Dick whines, taking another bite.

“Unfuckingbelievable, you'd never tried it, had you? And you still told me it was gross!”

“No comment.”

“I could've been eating pineapple pizza at home all this time but no, you had to ruin it, Dickie.”

“Ok, I'm sorry!”

“Thank you,” Jason grins, taking his own bite of pizza and humming happily at the taste. 

Robin reaches forward and grabs a slice of pizza and plops it onto the plate, then hands it to Tim. 

"Hot and fresh, ordered just because you like it.”

“Thank you,” Tim whispers, looking up at Robin with his dark baby blues shimmering from tears and a small but achingly sincere smile on his face. 

“God, I miss you,” Jason murmurs, eyes burning. Tim was always there. He stayed at Wayne Manor more than Drake. He was such a constant presence that home still feels impossibly empty. It's even worse with Dick and his friends graduating, and Tim being gone, cause Jason had lost the only people he talked to at school. It's gotten better. He found a group of drama kids at the beginning of the year to at least eat lunch with, but he's avoiding getting too close. It's not worth the risk, plus they'd never be able to know the secret anyway.

“Me too,” Dick adds. He wipes his hand on a napkin and grabs Jason's drink, unscrewing the top for him.

“Thanks.”

“So Jay went on patrol,” Dick prompts him.

“Oh, right. It, uh… I guess I did well?”

“That's a lie, he did great.”

“I sobbed on our rooftop. That sucked. And we only stopped one crime- but I took down like ten people! They were dogfighting. It was honestly horrible. Um. But I have a dog now?”

“He’s stupid cute.”

Jason chuckles. “His name’s Terry. A very handsome auburn golden retriever. Only been a couple days, but he seems to trust me? Still wary of the others, cause he was abused. Housetraining is a work in progress, but he's really smart. And the vet said he's generally healthy, so that's good. Just a little malnourished and needed his shots. When he's better trained I can bring him by.”

Shouldn't take too much longer for housetraining. He seems to understand not pooping in the house, but he's had a few pee accidents. Jason's been poring over everything he can find related to dog training and puppy care, so he feels fairly confident in his abilities. Leash training will be coming up in a couple weeks once he's just a little bit older.

Terry’s been a small blessing, because so far it's impossible to be sad with something that cute in front of him whenever he's home. Though Jason hopes he’ll get a tad more affectionate as his trust in everyone increases. But he already loves the little guy anyway.

“Hey Dick, did you never want a dog?” he asks curiously.

Dick shrugs. “It honestly hadn't crossed my mind to even ask Bruce. I love dogs but I don't know. A puppy is a lot and I'm not sure I have the bandwidth for it in college.”

“Fair enough.” They both grab another piece of pizza.

“What do you think Tim would've studied?” Dick asks.

“I’d say photography but I don't know if there's a degree for that and he wouldn't need one anyway, he was already amazing.”

“Honestly? I feel like he'd be a great engineer.”

“Huh. I can actually kinda see it. He could be an engineer for Disney Parks,” Jason laughs quietly. 

“Imagineer.”

“What?”

“That's what Disney calls them.”

“Timothy Drake, Imagineer Extraordinaire.”

Dick grins. “See? It's perfect.”

“While being Robin on the side.”

“Yeah?” Dick says softly.

Jason nods, taking a sip of his Coke before setting it down and wiping his eyes with the end of his sleeves. He sniffles and then looks over at Tim's name. “You would've been the best one yet.”

“Best detective for sure.”

“Smartest."

“Oh, hundred percent.”

“Oh fuck,” Jason gasps suddenly.

“What? What's wrong??”

“Tim as a supervillain.”

Dick pales. “Oh fuck.”

“I would be terrified.”

“I'm gonna have nightmares now about evil Tim - who would totally be your Catwoman, by the way.”

Jason snorts. “I mean… Evil Timmers would be kinda hot.”

“Ya hear that, Timmy? Handsome and evil gets Jay’s motor running.”

Jason chokes and has to take a sip of soda to wash the bite of pizza down. “Richard,” he rasps, cheeks warm which is completely ridiculous since Tim can't hear them. …hopefully.

Dick cackles at his reaction. (Because he's mean.)

“I'm telling Alfred you almost made me choke on pizza.”

“Oh god no, I'm sorry! Anything but that, please,” Dick begs.

“Yeah ok fine, I wouldn't do that to you.”

“Oh thank god,” Dick falls to his back in relief.

“You're so dramatic.”

Dick sits back up with a shrug and small laugh, and they both grab their third piece, though Jason still has to finish his second. They eat silently for a few minutes, until they're both done. There's one slice left in the box, plus Tim’s.

Jason sighs and moves Tim's plate and the photo away from the cupcake.

“Here,” Dick says softly, handing Jason the lighter.

Jason grabs it, flicks open the top, rolls the flint wheel, lights the birthday candle, and closes the top. “Happy birthday, Timbit,” he whispers, handing the lighter back to Dick, who immediately pockets it.

“Happy birthday Timmy,” Dick says quietly as he wraps an arm around Jason.

“I'd give anything to have you here today,” Jason says, voice breaking as he leans into his brother for comfort. Dick quietly hums the birthday song as they watch the single candle burn. 

Right when he finishes, a sudden sharp wind blows it out. Jason laughs wetly and looks up at the sky. 

“Think he sent that?” Dick asks.

“‘Isn't it pretty to think so?’”

“Who is that? Fitzgerald?”

“Hemingway,” he corrects.

“Eh, close enough.”

Jason rolls his eyes. Heathen. 

And then he gets the very unique feeling of being watched. “Dick?” he whispers.

“I feel it too.”

They both look back and then momentarily freeze at the sight of the woman standing hesitantly at the end of the row. She has light brown hair and striking blue eyes. Familiar blue eyes. Tim's eyes.

“Hi Mrs. Drake,” Dick says politely, “Give us a sec and we’ll get outta here for you.”

She shakes her head and makes a stop gesture. “Don't rush for me.”

“Would, um…” Jason rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Would you like to join us?” he offers. He wants to scream at her until she feels her fuckup deep in her soul… but her son is dead. Shitty as she was, Jason will not emotionally eviscerate a woman who lost her only child. 

She purses her lips and looks like she wants to argue before briefly nodding and slowly walking over to them, carefully sitting down, leaning on her left hip while bending her legs and tucking them close to herself.

“Hello Richard, Jason.”

They smile politely, though Jason’s is closer to a grimace.

Dick holds out his hand and she shakes it. “Dick Grayson. Don't think we’ve ever officially met. Wish we were doing so under different circumstances.”

“Agreed,” she says quietly.

Jason extends his own hand next, except the instant she touches him, he starts crying and pulls his hand away. “I’m sorry, I'm so sorry, I n- never meant for Tim- I never w-wanted- it’s all my fault.”

“Stop,” she orders.

“Deep breaths, Jay,” Dick murmurs, rubbing his back, “Deep breaths. It's alright.”

Jason listens to his brother and calms himself after several seconds. He wipes his eyes and blushes from embarrassment. “I'm ok.”

“I need you to listen to me, Jason.” (Janet Drake is terrifying, he realizes. There is zero room in her tone for disobedience.)

“Yes ma'am,” Jason mumbles, hanging his head to await her judgment.

“And to look at me.”

He raises his head and forces himself to hold her gaze.

“Did you shoot my son in the throat?”

He recoils in horror. “No!”  

“Then it's not your fault,” she says bluntly.

“But-”

“I do not blame you. The only one to blame is the one that pulled the trigger.”

“Guess I know who he got his logical reasoning from,” he mutters under his breath.

Dick laughs quietly and even Janet smiles. “Yes, he inherited my mind,” she says proudly. Then, almost as an aside- “And his father’s looks.”

“Except for the eyes.”

Her smile turns sad. “Yes, except for that. I haven't found myself very fond of mirrors since he died.”

“Would you like a slice of pineapple pizza?” Dick offers, as a pretty obvious distraction.

“Unique choice.”

“It's his favorite pizza topping,” Jason explains. “Coke?” he asks, lifting up Tim’s unopened bottle.

“Ah. Yes to both, then. Thank you.”

Jason hands her the bottle while Dick pulls out the final piece of pizza and sets it on a plate before giving it to her, with a couple napkins as well.

“I don't think I've had pizza in over a decade,” she muses, taking a bite. “Huh. Sal’s?”

Jason raises a surprised eyebrow. “You know it?”

She scoffs. “I've known about Sal's longer than you've been alive. It was one of Jack and I’s first dates, actually.”

“How is he doing?” Dick asks. Jason hears the hidden question, and he's sure she does too: where is he?

She shrugs. “No idea. He's kept going to digs while I've returned to DI as CEO.” What?

Dick frowns. “Sorry to hear that.”

Jason's hands clench into fists. “He's out of the country during his dead son’s birthday? Guess that didn't change, fucking piece of shit,” he snarls.

“Jason,” Dick sounds horrified that he would say that, but Jason doesn't care, it deserves to be said. Jack Drake is fucking pond scum.

She waves a dismissive hand at him. “It's alright. Unlike him, nothing made me realize I should be home more than my son dying because I wasn’t.”

“But… you just said it's the gunman's fault?”

“It is, but if we’d been home and spent time with him he probably wouldn't have needed a best friend that he got through child neglect.” Christ this woman doesn't pull punches, even at herself.

“I mean, we’re next door neighbors. Might've happened anyway.”

“Maybe,” she admits. “Would you tell me about my son?”

Jason's heart legitimately breaks for Janet. Her husband ran off after the worst moment of their lives, she knows she fucked up and that she can't fix it, and she has to ask strangers about her own son because now it's too late for her to get to know him herself.

“I do know he was brilliant, loved photography, was obsessed with coffee and the Bats, and wasn’t straight,” she elaborates, “but I'm ashamed to say that's about it.”

“How'd you know that?”

“Mother’s intuition isn't just for good moms.”

“Fair enough,” Dick nods.

Jason supposes that's true. “His favorite food is that mac and cheese with the white wine and caramelized onions.”

“I remember making that,” she smiles wistfully. “He ate so much I was amazed he didn't get sick.”

“He made it for me one time, it was delicious.”

“Wh- hey, where was I?” Dick whines.

“Hiking the Andes.” Space.

“Oh,” he frowns.

“He’s really into Star Wars and Disney.”

“And Battlestar Galactica,” Dick adds. 

Jason laughs quietly in agreement and then grabs the Disneyland photo to show Janet. “We took him to Disneyland.”

“I haven't seen him smile that brightly since…” she glances at Dick and then winces.

Dick nods in understanding. “He gave me that picture of him with me and my parents because it's the last one of us. He was really thoughtful.”

“Yeah, on my birthday he did all the things my mom used to do for me.” Jason has to pause to wipe his eyes as fresh tears well up at the memory.

“He was the best of us,” she smiles to herself.

“Absolutely. Ok, hmm… ah, his favorite artist is Taylor Swift,” Dick continues in Jason's stead. “And he really likes to sing in the shower when he’s happy. Shake It Off is his go-to.”

Jason laughs. “Remember when he fell?”

“Oh my god!” Dick cackles, “Yes!”

“Ok so I’m going to Dick’s room to ask him to look over an essay, and I heard Tim singing through the wall. I ran and dragged Dick out to listen and then we hear- I can't,” he laughs.

“All of a sudden there's a yelp and small thud, Jay was about to break down the door to check on him, before we just hear these peals of uproarious laughter like he had just experienced the funniest moment of his life.”

“Such a goofball.”

“He was like that as a baby, too,” she laughs. “Always giggling.”

“I cannot imagine how cute Timmy was as a baby,” Dick grins.

“I could scrounge up some baby pictures to show you sometime if you'd like.”

“Oh my god please!” Dick laughs.

“I will.”

“What else… hm… Oh!” Jason says suddenly, “One of his favorite memories is going to Steel Pier with you and his dad.”

“That was a good day. Or… well it wasn't for the forty minutes following his first taste of cotton candy.” Oh, wow. Ok, Janet Drake made a joke. Weird.

Jason and Dick both laugh at the idea of young, sugar-high Tim terrorizing his parents. “Can't imagine how hard he crashed.”

“Jack had to carry him back to the hotel, he was thoroughly unconscious. It was sweet.”

Jason moves over to sit beside her, pulling out his phone. “I have lots of photos of him if you'd like to see and hear about them.”

“I would.”

They spend nearly ninety minutes telling Janet stories about her son, and Jason can't even remember the last time he smiled and laughed this much talking about Tim. It feels kinda amazing.

“At least he was happy when he died,” she sighs, wiping her eyes. 

“I loved him like a brother,” Dick says quietly.

“I didn't,” Jason says, lightly blushing.

“Were you together?” she asks, looking almost hopeful at the idea. “It was pretty clear my son loved you based on those photos.”

Jason shakes his head with a sad smile. “I was oblivious until after it was too late.”

“You would have made a handsome pair.”

Jason’s cheeks darken further and he looks away. “Thanks,” he mutters.

“Allllrighty time for cupcakes,” Dick interrupts, setting the box between the three of them and popping the top of it.

“His favorite, I take it?”

“Correct.”

They each take a mini cupcake and eat them quietly. They're delicious - because of Alfred. They each take a second as well.

Then all the wrappers and trash and plates and napkins and bottles and stuff goes into the pizza box, plus Tim’s uneaten - obviously - cupcake and pizza slice, because he's pretty sure they've been sitting out in the elements too long. Even so, it almost feels like a crime.

“Thank you for sharing your food with me.”

“You're welcome,” Dick smiles. 

“Of course,” Jason nods.

“I also had a question for both of you. I want to build something to honor Timothy. Would you be willing to think up a few ideas and meet with me at a later date to discuss them?”

Jason and Dick look at each other and nod in agreement before looking back at her. “We would love to help, Mrs. Drake.”

“Great. Thank you both. And Janet, please.”

The three of them rise to their feet and step off the blanket, which Dick then crouches to fold up and return to the picnic basket, along with the party hat. Dick stands back up again. “Jay, would you like to say goodbye privately.”

“Um. Yeah. Thanks.”

“Ok. Bye Timmy. Happy birthday, love you, miss you,” Dick says. Then he picks up the basket and pizza box, walking with Janet to the end of the row. 

Jason kneels in front of Tim’s headstone. “Happy birthday Tim. I love you, and every day I miss you. But I guess you couldn't resist being a hero,” he sighs sadly. “Thank you for saving me.” He kisses his palm and then lays it over Tim's name for a few seconds, fingers splayed. 

“Bye Babybird.” He pulls his hand away and rises to his feet with stinging eyes, walking over to Dick and Janet who are quietly conversing a little more about Tim.

When he reaches them, Dick wraps an arm around him. “We’re gonna head out. Circumstances aside, it was nice to finally meet you.”

“You as well, Richard, and Jason,” she says, and she just seems so sad.

“Would you like a hug?” Jason blurts out. A fleeting look of surprise crosses her face before she nods and says yes.

Jason steps forward and hugs her tightly, which she returns. “I'm so sorry,” he repeats.

“Thank you for giving my son the loving home he deserved,” she says, voice wobbling.

Great, now Jason's crying again. “You're welcome. I… I wish you could've met him.”

“So do I,” she sighs and pulls away. Her eyes are mirroring Tim's when he was crying over his parents always being gone. The parallel is eerie. “I'll be in touch about the project. Thank you for today.”

“You're welcome mi- Janet. See you in a couple weeks,” he says, in lieu of goodbye. 

“See you then.”

Jason nods, then turns away, wiping his eyes and walking down to Dick, who slipped away to see his parents. “I wanna go home, Dickie.”

“Let's go then.” He hands Jason the pizza box so he can wrap an arm around him as they walk to the car. At the sound of a quiet sob from behind, they walk faster.

Terry stands up in his crate when Jason returns, wagging nervously. 

“Baby boy,” he coos, and the nervousness morphs into excitement. Jason crouches and unlocks the crate. The puppy jumps out and Jason laughs quietly as he scoops him up, kissing the top of his head and getting a lick on the chin in return. 

“Let's go potty,” he says, carrying him outside to the small (temporary) fenced area out back, stepping through the gate and closing it, then setting him in the grass. Terry sniffs around a little before squatting and relieving himself.

“Yes!” Jason cheers since he did it outdoors. Terry runs back to him and Jason grabs him up again and carries him back to his room, closing the door.

He sits down in the middle of the room with him and lets him go. Terry turns to face Jason and puts his paws up on his chest, tail wagging happily. “Oh, I just love you so much! What a good boy!” The tail is now a blur as the puppy tries to give him kisses all over his face.

Jason giggles and pushes him back a little. He leans over to the side and grabs the rope toy. “Looky here!” Terry yips quietly and grabs the toy in his mouth, playing tug of war with Jason. Jason plays with him, laughing and cooing until he's all tuckered out.

Jason stands and lifts him up, moving to lay with him on his bed. The sleepy pup climbs up on him and lays down on his front. “Sweet boy,” Jason murmurs, lightly scratching behind his ear and then running a hand down his back. Terry's eyes slowly slip closed and his breathing relaxes. 

Jason’s eyes burn, because this abused little baby golden feels safe enough to fall asleep on him. “You're safe, little one,” he whispers, refusing to cry over a puppy. 

The weight of the warm, fluffy bundle of love snoozing on top of Jason quickly lulls him into a peaceful sleep.

Chapter Text

Jason is startled awake by a cold, wet nose poking his cheek. “No- wha- ugh, Terry,” he groans. You'd think he'd be used to it by now, but it's still jarring.

Terry flops on top of him and licks his chin. 

“That wasn't an invitation,” Jason yawns, rubbing the dog’s head. “You're gettin’ kinda heavy, ya know.”

Terry tilts his head.

Jason coos at him. “You're just the cutest, aren't you?”

It tilts the other direction.

“Quit it,” Jason grins, scratching behind his ear. “Ok, down boy.”

Terry woofs quietly, stands up, and trots down the doggy ramp to the floor. Yes, Jason did put a ramp on the side of his bed for Terry, to protect his joints. Jumping is a definite no, and stairs aren't great either. 

“Just lemme get ready real quick, I'll be right back.”

Woof

Jason slides out of bed and pads to the bathroom, closing the door and running through his routine. When he opens it, Terry is sitting just outside. Jason smiles and the dog’s tail starts brushing back and forth over the floor. “Hi bud,” he chuckles, patting his head as he walks past to his dresser.

He throws on some joggers, a T-shirt, Tim's Disneyland jacket - resized courtesy of Zatanna - and pulls on his sneakers. He grabs his phone and pockets it on his way out. “You… wanna go?!”

Terry barks loudly, once, and then his tail becomes a blur and he starts practically bouncing around on his paws in excitement.

“Alright Terry, let's go!” Jason opens his door and walks down the hall, with his dog right at his side the whole way. When they get to the stairs, Jason starts down while Terry follows along on the ramp that's nestled against the wall.

Once on the main floor, they head outside to the backyard, where Terry relieves himself. Jason praises him, picks up after him with the plastic bag he snagged on the way out, and tosses it in the trash.

“Alright, c’mon bud!” he laughs as they begin their morning jog around the Wayne estate. 

“So. Kinda wish I hadn't woken up today,” he tells Terry. “Not like that. Just, I wish I could've woken up tomorrow and noped right over today.”

Jason sighs and jogs in silence for a couple minutes.

“How has he been gone for a year? Well I guess for me it's eleven months, but still. And how have I had you for four months? I'm… much happier than I thought I would be. At the beginning… god, I didn't think I'd ever be happy again. Dinah's definitely helped. And you, baby boy!”

Woof!

“That's right!”

Terry is totally his therapy dog. He tells him everything he's feeling, knowing it’s completely free of judgment. Not that he thinks Dinah is judging him, really, just… a tiny part of him wonders sometimes. But with his dog, he can be completely unfiltered.

“I'm so happy I found you. Hated the circumstances, but certainly enjoy the result. God, Timmy would’ve loved you. Hm. How would he react to you?”

“Wh- you got a golden?!” Tim’s face would break into a huge grin.

“Sure did Timmers. Meet Terry.

He would sit down and Terry would run up to him, tail wagging. “Hi there!” Tim would laugh happily and hug the dog. “You're so soft, wow!” 

Terry would lick his face and Tim would burst into giggles and lightly push him away. 

“Oh goodness I love you already, you're just so sweet . Such a good boy!”

Jason chuckles. “Yeah, something like that.” He glances up at the surprisingly clear sky. “Or maybe you already know, Babybird. Wouldn't put it past you.” 

Jason drops his gaze back to the path and sighs again. “Too damn smart.”

He continues venting to Terry for the rest of the jog.

Jason shifts his car into park and cuts the engine. He tries to avoid thinking too hard as he grabs the tulips and exits the car, heading up to Tim’s grave. He detours to give one flower each to John and Mary Grayson before continuing on his way.

Before he knows it, he's there. He drops the flowers into the attached vase, then takes a couple minutes to clean up the site. Grabbing the dead leaves from the grass and dropping them by the tree trunk, brushing away any specks of dirt and some lingering snow, and fussing with the positioning of the flowers before being satisfied. 

“There. That's better,” he mutters. “Anyway. Hey Timmers. So… it's been a year since you saved my life. Since you were my hero. Since you… you died. I've been here recently, so… not like I have much new to tell you. But whatever.”

He sighs, then hugs himself as he shivers. “God, 's cold. So… Folklore vinyl finally arrived. Preordered Evermore. Learned my lesson on the first one, Swifties are no joke dude. I'll do the same when Fearless comes out, too.”

“I get ‘em for you, really. She's not my favorite. Like, she's ok, but I only listen to her when I wanna feel closer to you.” Jason blushes lightly. “That’s probably weird… But I wish you could hear ‘em. Folklore's pretty good. Definitely a different sound, but you'd enjoy it. 'm not even gonna open the vinyls. Just gonna hang them on the wall in your old bedroom. Which is probably crazy? I don’t know.”

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

Cause I knew everything when I was young

Yeah ok maybe Jason cried like a baby when he first heard ‘Cardigan,’ sue him. It's Tim's fault.

“Terry's doing great. ‘s only been four months but I swear he's my pride and joy,” Jason laughs quietly. “He brings me so much happiness, and all the others like him too. And Alfred, oh my god. He makes his dog food, like, what? ‘Only the best for young Master Terry,’” he mimics. It's ridiculous, but Jason’s not gonna complain - especially since he's not the one doing it. Why not let his dog be as healthy as possible, they can afford it.

“So yeah, he's good. Hm. Oh, we just finalized plans for the Tim Drake Photography Studio. So that's cool. Probably start building in a few months. It'll be right at the edge of Crest Hill. Your mom wants me to be the first to break ground at the ceremony. It's the kind of publicity I despise… but for you, it's worth every moment.”

“And uh… well, your mom's actually kinda cool? She's invited me to every meeting for the studio - realtors, lawyers, contractors, builders, architects, you get the idea. All of it. I’ve been to most of them, and she actually listens to what I have to say. Hell, she even scolds people if they belittle me ‘cause of my age, which is…” Jason huffs, “a sight to behold. I'm pretty sure she could make grown men shit their pants if she wanted to, she's terrifying. Anyway, then we usually get lunch afterwards. And every other week she joins our Saturday family dinners. She's almost, like… an aunt now.”

“But it's just really sad, though. It's obvious that she regrets how she treated you, but she knows it's too late. I don't know, I think she's like… trying to do right by you, by doing right by me. I'm her closest link to you. Though I guess the opposite is true, too. Interacting with her, it… it makes it feel like I still have a piece of you in my life. Don't get me wrong, you'll always be part of my life anyway, but I meant like, an active part of you.”

“But anyway.” Jason kneels in front of the headstone with a weary sigh. “I miss you, Babybird. Not everyday, cause I am healing. And I'm usually pretty busy too. But on slow days, or particularly bad days… I feel that hole in my chest again and I just… I just wanna hold you. But I can’t,” Jason says, voice breaking and eyes filling with tears.

“A-and I hate it. I know it's not my fault, I do. I can accept that, now. But it still hurts. And the greatest cause of guilt right now… it's - god, and saying it makes me feel like a horrible person - but I'm r-really glad I didn't die. I didn't want to. I'm happy that I’m alive, but, but I hate the why.”

Jason wipes the tears off his cheeks and sniffles. “I’ll n-never stop being sorry, but I'll also never stop being grateful. Every moment of every day for the rest of my life, it's a goddamn gift. From you. So just… thank you. I love you so much, Tim.” He kisses his gloved palm and lays it on the freezing cold marble, right over his name. 

Then he rises to his feet and stares silently at the headstone for a few seconds before sighing, saying goodbye, and returning to his car.

When Jason gets back home, Terry somehow immediately knows, and comes bounding down the hallway towards him.

“Hi buddy,” Jason chuckles, crouching to rub his head. “Missed you too.”

He walks to the kitchen, where Bruce is at the table with a cup of coffee and a newspaper, typical. Terry trots up to him for a pat on the head, which he receives almost immediatey.

“Hey honey,” Bruce says to Jason with a small smile.

“Hi Dad,” Jason smiles back, giving him a tight hug.

“How are you feeling?”

“Just ok,” he shrugs, dropping into the seat beside him. “Far from great, but not completely awful. I guess just… a little blue,” he sighs. Terry walks over and lays his head on Jason’s thigh. He grins and rubs the top of his head. “I'm alright, bud. But thanks.”

“I'm really glad you found him.”

Jason nods. “He's the best. Aren't you, Terry? Yes you are! The best boy!”

“A heckin’ good boy,” Bruce adds.

Jason momentarily freezes and then slowly turns his head to look at his dad, jaw dropped in shock. Did he hear that right. “Did you- wh- dad!”

“Hey, I know memes,” Bruce grumbles, crossing his arms.

Jason bursts out laughing. “Batman just- you- heckin’?!”

“The best doggo.”

“Dickie!” Jason yells, cackling. This is too ridiculous, oh my god. His brother shows up quickly, probably worried, whoops.

“What's wrong? What’s- what in the world?”

Jason points at Bruce, laughing with tears in his eyes. “He just- oh my god!”

“What did you do to him?” Dick sighs in exasperation.

“All I did was say that Terry was a heckin' good boy and the best doggo.”

Dick blinks a couple times and then falls apart just like Jason, collapsing into a seat and giggles pouring out of him.

“No respect in this house,” Bruce mutters.

“Where did you even hear - oh god what else does he know?”

Jason tries to pull himself together. “Dick - ha - listen, listenlisten.”

Dick calms down enough to be able to listen. “What?”

“I am vengeance,” Jason says, dramatically deepening his voice

Dick gasps in realization. “Oh my god…”

“I am the night, I am-

“-the heckin’ Batman!” They yell together before bursting into laughter all over again.

Eventually the laughter ebbs and Jason has to wipe his eyes. The fact that it's from joy is a really nice change. He looks over at Bruce, who is smiling broadly at him and he realizes-

“You just wanted to make me laugh, didn't you?” Jason asks softly. 

Bruce nods.

“Thanks, dad.”

“Aw, that's actually really sweet, B,” Dick grins. “You're a heckin’ good dad, dad.” Dick and Jason giggle, and even Bruce laughs quietly. 

“Only for my heckin’ good kids.”

“Awwww, group hug!” Dick yells, grabbing both of them in a hug. They all laugh again. And Jason’s happy.  

A few hours later, they have a small… party feels like the wrong word. Remembrance celebration? To honor Tim. 

Roy comes, mostly as moral support for Jason, and Wally is there for Dick, plus he spent time with Tim, too. 

Janet came, and she brought the fancy mac and cheese that Tim had loved. It was freakin’ delicious, and an odd thing to have paired with pineapple pizza, but whatever. Somehow it worked. Then red velvet cake, of course. 

Tim's Spotify playlist was on as background music. Lot of pop, and a lot of Taylor. They mostly just talked about Tim, and the studio. When they were eating there was an extra spot intentionally set at the table that remained empty, for Tim. Which was goddamn heartbreaking. 

Janet quietly cried a couple times, but so did Jason. Jack, meanwhile, was in D.C., continuing to be a piece of shit. He had some big deal meeting with the Haitian Embassy. Apparently the two of them had been trying to get permission for a dig for awhile, but it should be easier with only Jack trying to go. Somehow that's more important than his son's… well, deathday. It's extremely difficult for Jason to not outwardly wish horrible things upon him, so he wishes it internally instead. If Jason ever sees that man, he will punch him. 

Eventually, the party ends.

“Thank you for arranging this,” Janet tells Jason while he walks her to her car.

“Yeah, course. Wanted to do something… nice? for him. Even if I really wish I hadn't had a reason to,” he sighs. “It's just surreal, ya know? That it's been a year since he…”

“Got his wish of being a hero?”

Jason snorts. “Yeah, 's one way to put it. …I miss him.”

“Would it be in terribly poor taste to say that I don't?”

“Nah. Just honest.”

“I've seen him nearly as often this past year than the year before he died. Because that's how often I was absent. But at least he was alive then. It's not the fault of either of us, but sometimes I wish…”

“That you could go back and fix it?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Hell, Jason considered time-travel shortly after losing Tim. But the risk, and repercussions, hell the technical feasibility of it… it wasn't viable.

“I suppose all we can do now is let this tragedy inspire something beneficial to this city. Like the studio.”

“I'm pretty excited,” Jason chuckles. “Can't wait to see it in action. I know it’s not, like, glamorous or something that's needed, really. But everyone deserves the ability to get professional pictures of themselves and the people that matter to them. Plus, the chance for people to discover that they might actually be good at photography but couldn't afford to even find out. I really think he'd like it.”

She laughs quietly. “It's from you, he’d love it.”

“Heh, yeah. Probably. Hey, thanks for the mac and cheese. It was great.”

“You're welcome, though I'm not sure how much of it you were actually able to eat. Wallace eats a lot. His metabolism must be incredible.”

“Oh it definitely is. Anyway. I'll see you later this week with the… interior designer, right?”

“Correct.” She opens the driver’s side door and tosses the empty tupperware to the passenger seat, then turns back to face Jason. “The tulips were lovely, thank you. I saw them this afternoon when I went to see him. I never even knew his favorite flowers,” she whispers, eyes shimmering.

“Hey, even the best moms in the world don't know everything about their kids.” 

She hums noncommittally. “Have a good night, Jason.”

“Wouldn't say good. But, uh. You too.” Jason gives her a hug and holds on for a couple seconds before letting go. “Bye Janet.”

“Bye,” she smiles, then turns and sits in the driver’s seat and closes the door.

Jason heads back inside and up to his room.

Woof

“Hi baby boy. Night jog?”

Woof!

“Alright, let's go bud!”

A couple months later:

“Cardinal, please return to the cave,” Nightwing’s calm voice says over comms. 

“N? Thought you took a night off?”

“Well I did, but apparently Uncle Supes needs to talk to us about a mission.”

“That's… flattering, but what can we do that he can't?”

“Be subtle,” Nightwing chuckles.

Cardinal laughs. “Ok, that's fair.”

“Yeahhh, he needs us to break into a top secret LexCorp lab.

“...oh hell yeah! On my way.”

Chapter Text

Jason grabs his phone on the way out the door with Terry, and finds a message from Kon. Huh. He doesn't text much. Hopefully not an emergency. Jason checks it. 

Kon: Hey man. I debated on sending this, but I figured it'd be ok. Anyway, I know today is two years, and it's probably not the easiest day for you. So, please reach out if you need anything. I'll see you this evening but for anything before then, I'll be there in a heartbeat. You're my best friend and you mean the world to me.

Jason smiles at his phone. He really didn't expect to find a best friend in Luthor’s lab, but he’s damn glad that he did. 

Jason: Thanks 😊 I'll let you know. You mean the world to me too

Jason pockets his phone and continues on his way. “Sorry bud, don't worry, we're going!”

They make their way outside and Jason starts jogging, faithful dog at his side.

“Two, huh? That's just bizarre. Hell, I’ve had SB in my life longer than I did Tim. Guess time flies when you're having fun and kicking ass with your closest friends. I'm actually feeling pretty good today. We’ll see later, but for now, I'm alright.”

A few hours later, after school, Jason drives to the florist, grabs a tulip bouquet, and drives to Gotham Cemetery. 

He makes his way to the grave, dropping off two flowers for the Graysons again. He reaches Tim's grave, cleans it up, and sticks the flowers in the vase.

Jason glances at the neighboring grave. Jack Drake. He was an absolute fucking asshole, but Christ, he didn't deserve that. And Janet didn't deserve to lose another family member. Still. The fact that he had to die to approach his son's grave… 

That was an awful day. The instant Jason heard the news, he sprinted over to the Drakes, knocked on the door, was let in, and Janet hugged him and just cried. It was horrible. He'd never seen or heard her break down like that before, and he hopes he never has to again.

He looks back at Tim’s. “Hey Tim. So. Another year. I don't even know how that's possible, but somehow it is. I think… I think I've healed. As much as possible, anyway. At this point, your memory usually just makes me smile. And that's a nice change. I still wish you hadn’t died for me. I'm still sorry. But thank you. For my life. You're probably tired of hearing that by now. But I mean it.”

“But yeah. Things are good. Fearless and Red have been added to your wall. And the Team is doing great. I never thought I would actually enjoy being a ‘leader’ or whatever, but… turns out I do? I think I never really appreciated the fact that… apparently I'm an incredible strategist and excellent tactician? Dick says I'm on the same level as himself. As Nightwing. And he means it.”

“God, I love my team. And I love the Titans too, don't get me wrong! We still work with them every so often, but they were Dick's friends first, but Kon, Bart, Cassie, they're mine. Not in like a possessive way. Anyway… You'd really like all of them. Wish you could meet ‘em,” Jason sighs. “Wish they could meet you.”

“Hm, what else… oh! I got into freaking Stanford. They have one of the best English programs in the country, and it's only forty-five minutes from Titans Tower, too. I'm just, god, I'm so excited for the next chapter of my life. A chapter that I thought you'd be a part of, way back when. Not anymore, obviously. Which sucks, but I'm used to it by now.”

“So, the studio’s doing really well. Your mom made me the executive director, which was a hell of a learning curve but I'm comfortable with it by now. She's the chair of the board of directors, so we still work together often. The community has been really excited and so supportive. So many have gotten first time family portraits. The camera loan program is doing just as well too. Some of the pictures coming out of that are truly incredible. Someone has even gotten a few pics of Cardinal. Ok, maybe I intentionally posed for one… but, yeah. Kinda felt like a full circle moment, to have your studio lead to a picture being taken of my vigilante identity, which is how we met to begin with. It was really cool.”

“And your mom figured it out, by the way. So if there was ever any doubt that you are your mother’s son, that sure cleared it up. Freaking brilliant Drakes,” Jason mutters. “Admittedly, it's nice to have someone else that knows. Just, as long as she stays safe. ”

“I'm not sure I have much else to say, honestly. Terry's great. NightFlash is great. Everyone's great. So that's cool.”

Jason kneels in front of the headstone. “I miss you. I wish you were here. But I'm doing really well. I know you'd be happy to hear that.”

Jason stares at his name for several seconds, frowning, before sighing. “Thank you, Timmy. I love you.” He kisses his palm and lays it over his name for a couple seconds. Then he stands. “Bye Babybird.”

When he returns to his car, he drives to the studio and does a quick walkthrough, just to make sure everyone's doing good, to talk to some people that are curious about the services and programs, make sure everything is well-stocked, etc. As usual, everything is in order, because the staff here are awesome.

Later that evening, they have their remembrance party for Tim. Roy couldn’t come this year, but Kon and Bart did. 

And, since Janet knew, this year they could order the absurd number of pizzas needed to satisfy two speedsters and a half-Kryptomian without it being incredibly suspicious. 

When it's over, Jason walks Janet to her car again. 

“So… I haven’t cried today? And I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or not,” Jason admits. 

Janet hums. “I only did for a brief moment when I went to see him. But I think that’s simply part of acceptance. He wouldn't want us crying over him anyway.”

Jason nods. “Yeah. He'd want us to be happy.”

“So…. I couldn't help but notice that Conner is quite handsome,” she says casually. Too casually. “And seems a little extra fond of you.”

Jason blushes. “Wh- oh my- mo- Janet! Oh my god you're so embarrassing, stop.”

She laughs. “I think he's interested, I'm serious. Question is, are you?”

“He has super hearing,” Jason hisses.

“Does he eavesdrop?”

Jason turns his head back towards the manor for a second. “No, he does not!” he says pointedly.

Janet snorts in amusement. “Well?”

“I mean… I… I don't know. He's great, he really is. And sure, he's ho- handsome, and his eyes are kinda dreamy, and he can fly, and I would be lucky to be with him. But I just… I don't think I'm ready for that yet.”

“Well, it's certainly not something to rush. But when you are ready… you deserve an amazing partner, Jason.”

“Thanks,” Jason smiles, cheeks still warm. “I'll keep him in consideration,” he jokes.

“Good. The speedster’s cute too, matches Terry.”

“Oh my god, Janet,” Jason groans.

“Sorry. You make it so easy, though.”

Jason rolls his eyes but laughs. “Yeah yeah. I'll see ya soon.”

They hug, say goodbye, and Jason heads back to the manor, where Kon is playing with Terry. Jason grins at the sight, and whistles for his dog, who immediately trots over.

“Good boy,” Jason says, rubbing his head. Then he turns to Kon. “Join us for our run?”

“Sure,” Kon shrugs with a relaxed smile, and they head outside.

Six Months Later

“Oh my god. Dad. Seriously, are you crying?”

“No, this house is just dusty! It's in my eyes,” Bruce grumbles, wiping them.

“This place is sparkling.”

“Fine, I'm leaving my baby at college on the other side of the country, I'm a little upset!”

“I'm coming home almost every weekend, and either of us can get to the other in less than ten minutes, pull yourself together.”

“But I like you living in the same place as me, Jaylad.”

“I like it too-”

Bruce starts crying harder.

“Oh my god you're so embarrassing, please get out.” Not that there's anyone else there, but still.

More crying.

“Oh for fuck’s-” Jason hugs Bruce. “Dad, breathe. I love you, I'm gonna check in every day, I am safe, the Titans could be here in a blink, my best friend is Superboy, and you can text me whenever you want. Just, please stop crying, ok?”

Bruce takes several deep breaths. “Ok. Ok, you're right. I'm sorry. I am so damn proud of you, Jason. I love you too, honey. So, so much. You're gonna do amazing here.”

“Thanks, B. Now… please go?”

Bruce laughs wetly. “Ok. Bye sweetheart.”

“Bye Dad.”

Bruce squeezes him tight, pecks his forehead, and then releases him, opens the door and steps outside. Then he stares at Jason like he's committing him to memory.

“Dad!”

Bruce whines and closes the door, and Jason hears his steps fading down the walkway.

Jason sniffles and wipes his eyes. Damn dust.

Chapter Text

The instant his last class of the day ends, Jason hurries back to the little house he's renting, lets Terry out to use the bathroom, then leashes him up and makes him get in the car, which immediately makes him excited. “Yes, yes, exciting trip. I know, bud,” Jason chuckles, beginning the drive to Titans Towers. He shuffles his Spotify playlist and sings along on the way down, while Terry just excitedly looks out the window.

When they get to the Tower, they park underneath in the basement, and then take the elevator up to the floor with the Zeta on it. 

He steps off the elevator and laughs when he's immediately being hugged.

“Jason!”

“Hi Bart,” Jason laughs, hugging him back. “Good to see ya.”

“You too!” And then he's crouching in front of the dog. “Hey Terry!”

Terry barks happily and licks his cheek, and Bart giggles at him and then rubs his head. “Oh, what a good boy!” Another bark. “Yes you are!”

Then he's standing in front of Jason again. “You good, dude?”

“I am,” Jason smiles. “Today's tradition at this point. I'll never not want Tim to be gone, obviously, but I've fully accepted it by now. But thank you for asking. I'll see you tonight, yeah?”

“Free pizza? Heck yeah, Jasearino!”

God that's such a terrible nickname, but Jason can't help but love the fact that he gets a silly name. “Ok, great. Gotta run though.”

“Hey, that's my line!” Bart pouts. 

Jason laughs and ruffles his hair. “Sorry. What can I say, it's a good one. Bye Bart.”

“Bye!” Bart gives him another quick hug, and then Jason and Terry head for the zeta. “Love you!”

“Love you too,” Jason yells back to him, then walks through. 

Recognized: Cardinal, Bitewing

He takes Terry up to the manor via the elevator and tells him to run free. 

Jason then heads for the garage and hops in his car, drives to the florist, and then to the cemetery. He gives the Graysons flowers, and puts the rest of them in Tim's vase. A quick clean up of the spot, and then Jason sits down in front of the headstone. It's unseasonably warm today, which is a nice change. 

“Hey Timbo. ‘m just gonna jump right in. It's been three years. You will always, always be incredibly important to me. You saved my life.”

“The sad thing though, is... I'm happier now than I was when you were here. Not because you're dead, god no, but I've just grown so much. I mean, I'm in college with my own place and my own dog and I got my team and I'm leading missions and Bruce is all soft and emotional and Dickie is, well as great as always, and Kon is… um. Special.”

“I think he likes me? And I like him. Mm. Ok, that's a lie. Not like. We both love each other. Not necessarily romantically, but absolutely platonically. But uh… I think I'd like to explore the romance part. I mean, maybe there's nothing there. But maybe there is. And, well… I wanna find out. So I just feel really hopeful, ya know? I'm gonna ask him on a date in a couple days. I just wanted to tell you, cause I'm excited. I… I really hope he says yes.” Jason laughs quietly and can't keep the smile off his face or the blush from his cheeks. “He's a really good guy.”

“Um. Ok. Hm. Midnights is on your wall. Your studio's doing better than ever. Class is enjoyable. Wouldn't go as far as fun, yet. Janet’s… I’m sorry, I never meant to steal her or replace you or anything. I just. I love her, and it just kinda slipped out and I didn’t mean to call her mom but she actually got teary-eyed from happiness and it just… felt right? Like, after all the support and guidance from her over the years and being vulnerable in front of her, just, all of it. She really is like a second mom to me. Well, third, technically… but we’re not counting that one.”

“Oh! I have a cute little electric car at school,” Jason laughs. “I mean, I'm rich and I live in Silicon Valley, pretty sure it's required. But I got a used BMW i3. Same car we rented when we went to Disneyland, so it makes me smile whenever I see it. I've never been back to a Disney park. Feels… blasphemous without you.”

“Also, you would totally be hyped about the Eras Tour if you were here. It starts next month and it's already caused a whole thing with Ticketmaster. Like, it was national freaking news. The Swifties sued them. There was even a televised Senate hearing over it. I don't like her enough for three-and-a-half-hours straight of listening to her, sorry. But… if you were here, I’d take you in a heartbeat, Babybird.”

“I really wish you were here,” Jason sighs tiredly. “I usually don't miss you, to be honest. But sometimes… sometimes I still do, and it feels silly almost. You've been gone six times as long as I knew you. You were… exactly what I needed then, but I wanted so much more time with you, and you deserved to live. I treasure the six months I got to have you in my life and I always will. I hate accepting that you're gone, but I do accept it. Fully. It's really nice feeling… normal again. If you hadn't saved me… well, I wouldn't be feeling anything right now. So, again. Thank you, Tim. I love you.”

Jason kisses his palm, lays it over Tim’s name for a second, then rises to his feet. “See you on your birthday. Unless I get, like, randomly super triggered about you. But that seems unlikely. So. Bye.”

He goes by the studio on the way home for a quick walkthrough, then returns to the manor. 

At Tim's party, Jason's entire team and Roy and Lian were all able to make it. It was definitely the most fun one yet. 

He walks Janet to her car. “So… I'm gonna ask you-know-who on a date. I'm ready to find out,” he tells her. 

She smiles at him. “That's wonderful to hear. I will be shocked if he says no.”

“Yeah,” Jason chuckles, “I'll be surprised too.”

“And I better hear all about it afterwards.  ...well, depending on what, I may not want to hear everything,” she teases.

Jason blushes darkly. “Oh my god, there will be none of that happening I can assure you. Too soon. Way, way too soon.”

Janet laughs. 

“What about you? Any thoughts on potential future dating? Anyone ‘catch your eye'?”

“I would say… I'm not actively looking, but I won't say no if romance finds me.”

Jason nods. “Fair enough.”

“And then some days I consider becoming a cat lady.”

“I really don't need a second cat lady in my life, Selina is enough.”

“That woman is really… something,” Janet mutters offhand.

Jason gasps in realization. “No way.”

“What?”

“You have a crush on Selina!”

“I am not a teenager, I do not have crushes.” She sounds disgusted at the thought. The horror…

“Look, I don't think anything permanent will ever happen with BatCat, sadly. And Selina does swing both ways. Dang, I think I ship this.”

“Ship?”

“Uh. Like, you ship me with SB. It’s when you like, support the idea of a certain relationship. And usually smash their names together.”

“Oh, like Bennifer.”

“Exactly. So you'd be… Selinet? No. Janina? Ooh, that's fun to say.”

“You're ridiculous.”

“-ly awesome?”

“Occasionally.”

“Rude.”

Janet laughs again. “You know I love you.”

“I know,” Jason smiles, giving her a hug beside her car. “I love you too, mom.”

She kisses his forehead before letting go. “Goodnight Jason.”

“Night.” He turns and heads back to the manor, stepping inside. “Terry!”

He comes running, Kon beside him. “Time for a run?”

“Yeah,” Jason smiles at him, bumping their shoulders together.

“Thanks for joining us.”

“Well, I enjoy spending time with you,” Kon says, looking at Terry. “Oh, and you Jason,” he adds, grinning over at him.

Jason snorts. “You're mean to me.”

“I'm average?”

“You're definitely not average.”

Kon squints. “Is… is that a compliment or an insult?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes, yes I would.”

Jason laughs and pulls him into a tight hug. “A compliment,” he murmurs, “ Definitely a compliment.”

“Well, you're pretty unaverage too,” Kon whispers, lips brushing against Jason's ear and making him shiver. That's new.

Jason’s cheeks tinge pink. “Not your best.”

“You liked it,” Kon laughs, letting him go.

“Mm, maybe.” Yes, Jason absolutely liked it. And Kon almost definitely knows that. 

“Thought so.”

“Oh just go,” Jason groans, “I'll see you in a couple days.”

Kon laughs again. “Alright, alright, I'm going. But hey, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jason smiles softly. “Goodnight Conner.”

“Night.” Kon hesitates for a second before pecking Jason’s cheeks and then fleeing the scene.

“Just in case you're unsure, that was definitely not platonic,” Dick chirps, dropping down from God knows where.

Jason jumps with a yelp, and then glares at his brother who's currently supporting a massive shit-eating grin. “Oh my god. Yes, Dickie, I know.”

“You loooove him, you think he’s gorrrrgeous, you wanna kiiiiiss him,” Dick sing-songs. 

“I hate that I know what you're referencing.”

“Um, the best FBI movie of all time?”

“Yeah… no.”

Dick laughs. “Whatever. Go get changed, I miss patrolling with you!”

“Yeah yeah, me too ‘Wing.”

Cardinal and Nightwing hear a low, distant pop.

“Um. So something definitely just blew up, right?” Cardinal says to Nightwing.

“I can almost guarantee you it's a warehouse.”

“Why is it always a warehouse?” Cardinal groans.

“You’re asking the wrong person, Little Wing.”

“Cardinal to Batman.”

“Batman.”

“You heard that, right? Need a hand?”

“I'm on my way to it. Should take me about ten minutes. I'll let you know if I need assistance.”

“Understood. Cardinal out.”

“Batman out.”

“Well. Guess we just keep going, then,” Nightwing shrugs, casually sauntering off the edge of the building and then grappling a neighboring one. 

“Show off!” Cardinal yells, chasing after the loud laughter of his brother.

Fifteen minutes later. 

“Batman to Cardinal and Nightwing,” the man says, sounding… scared? That's not good.

Cardinal and Nightwing freeze in their tracks, looking at each other in alarm. Nightwing slowly raises his hand to his ear, pressing his comm. “Nightwing,” he answers. “What's wrong?”

“Both of you need to return to the Batcave immediately.”

“Dad?” Cardinal joins in. “We can help. What do you need?”

“I need you safe!” he snaps.

The two birds startle at the yell. “You're scaring us, B,” Nightwing says.

Batman takes a deep breath. “I'm sorry I yelled. But Dick, Jason, go home. That's an order. Make sure A and the dog are down there and initiate a lockdown. Move. Now.”

Cardinal and Nightwing eye each other, frozen in dread for a couple seconds before they start sprinting for their bikes.

“Returning,” Cardinal says into his comm, trying really hard not to freak out. Batman doesn't get scared. He doesn't use their names. “We… we need you safe too, dad.”

“Boys, I promise I will return.”

“We believe you, we love you, stay safe, Nightwing out.”

“Batman out.”

“Dick?” Cardinal rasps, biting his lip in worry.

“I don't know, Jay.”

Cardinal nods, shoving away his soon-to-be-spiraling thoughts into a mental box and hiding it away. “Cardinal to Cave.”

“Go ahead.”

“Is Bitewing with you?”

“Affirmative.”

“N and I will be coming in hot, B’s orders. The instant we arrive, you need to initiate a lockdown.”

There's a confused pause from Alfred’s side before a short “Understood. Will do.”

“Thanks A. Cardinal out.”

“Cave out.”

What the hell is going on?

They race back into the cave, side-by-side, and they hear the lockdown beginning before they even come to a stop. All exits are physically blocked off with the loud clangs of the slabs of tungsten that slide over them, the zeta powers down, and no one should be able to get in or out until it's cancelled. Well, Martians, speedsters, or magic users could still get in, but otherwise, extremely secure.

Jason hops off his bike and removes his helmet and mask, leaving them on the vehicle before heading for the Batcomputer. Terry barks and runs up to them. Jason crouches to rub him and call him a good boy before continuing to the computer while Dick greets the dog next.

“Has he told you anything?” Jason asks.

“Nothing worth sharing,” he shrugs.

Jason and Dick side-eye each other. Alfred's hiding something, which means he's worried about upsetting them. 

“Hey, Jay, wanna spar?”

“Not subtle Dickie. But yeah, sure.

It's just over an hour later, a while after they'd stopped sparring, when the computer chirps out Batman’s override code. Jason sits up from where he was laying on the mat between Terry and Dick. 

Shortly after, the tunnel barrier slides away, the Batmobile roars through, and it closes again behind him. Jason pops to his feet and reaches a hand down to pull Dick up. 

Batman slams the breaks, throws the door open, jumps out, and walks briskly towards the Batcomputer, concern practically radiating off him. 

“Dad?” 

He throws up a hand in a ‘hush’ gesture and continues on his way. Jason and Dick follow after him to the computer, and he pulls up… the Joker’s file. Jason tenses and Dick rubs his back. 

He scrolls down to ‘Status,’ double clicks, and types in DECEASED.

“He's dead?!”

Batman pulls his cowl off and sighs. “Yes. Found him like that.” He opens a note to add to the file and hesitates. “Jason, I don't want you to see this but if I hide it you'll just find it anyway.”

“What-”

“Please let me finish, and then we can talk about it.”

“Ok.”

Bruce starts typing up his report, and Jason… starts to panic. 

Warehouse… Blunt force trauma… Crowbar…

“A, or B? Forehand? Or backhand?”

Bomb… Pinned by wall… 

“I'm not strong enough to move it. We’re pinned until help arrives.”

COD: Smoke Inhalation… 

“The rebreather was b-broken. The smoke… he suffocated.”

No external evidence from assailant.

Jason doesn't even know when he ended up sitting on the ground, but he's staring across the cave at Tim’s memorial, hyperventilating.

“Jaylad, hey, take some breaths for me, honey, ok? Just follow along with me.”

Jason struggles to follow, but eventually manages to get himself under control. “Dad? I-I, I don't understand.”

“I don't either.”

“This, it can't… this can not be a coincidence.”

“Agreed.”

“Are we in danger? Is someone after us?”

“I don't know, son.”

“Who killed him? Don't get me wr- I'm not sad that he's dead. He deserves to be, but…”

“We’re gonna find out what happened, and we’re gonna protect this family like we always do.”

“I'm, fuck, I'm scared, dad.”

“I… I am too, sweetheart. But I will never let anything happen to you. I promise you.”

“What's going on?” Jason's voice breaks and he starts crying, squeezing his dad tightly and trembling in fear. What's happening?

Chapter Text

Jason wakes up in his room in the manor several long hours later, with Terry curled up beside him. He opens his eyes and sits up, looking around his room to see if anything looks out of place. He's almost certain no one could get through the Manor’s security system, but it never hurts to keep an extra eye out. But everything seems fine. 

He hurries through his morning routine, gets dressed, takes Terry for a jog, comes back, showers, and gets dressed for the day, just plain jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt, and Tim’s Disneyland jacket. He heads to the kitchen where Bruce manages to look even worse than he did early this morning.

“Dad? Did something else happen?”

“Crane, Dent, Sionis, Valentin, and Zsasz were all found dead from lethal injection.”

Jason pauses in surprise, then opens the fridge to grab out a few eggs. “That's… oddly humane. Any signs of a struggle?”

“Not one.”

He cracks them into a bowl. “Do you think it's connected?”

“Yes.”

“Ok,” Jason nods, considering everything as he beats the eggs with a fork. “So the worst of the worst of our rogues have been… euthanized-”

“Murdered.”

“-but Joker was brutally assaulted and suffocated. So, it seems like Joker was personal, but the others were just seen as threats that needed to be eliminated.” He puts a pan on the stove, flicks on the burner, and adds a bit of butter.

“I agree.”

“It doesn't seem like there’s any threat to us, though. But the clown, that was… uncomfortably close to home. It has to be someone we know. But why wait three years?”

“Has anyone only recently learned about it?”

With the butter now melted, he pours in the eggs. “Do… do you think Janet could've done this? I told her a little over a year ago, and it is her son that died just like the Joker did. But Tim wasn't beaten, I was. It could be revenge for both of us, it… it fits. And with the others, that could be her trying to protect me.”

“I don't think she could have personally done it, but she does have the resources to hire someone.”

He occasionally nudges the eggs around with a spatula to scramble them. “I… do you mind if I ask her about it? I don't think she’ll lie to me. But… if she says yes are you gonna have her arrested? Because I- I won't let you. You can’t do that to me, dad, you can't.” 

Jason can't lose a third maternal figure, he will have a breakdown. Plus, he could never do that to Tim’s mom. He would never forgive himself. Though she would probably have an incredible defense attorney, and who would even want to prosecute her? Those men were evil. Mostly.

“If Janet hired a hitman, there would be zero evidence whatsoever to tie her to it, she's too smart. Plus, the general public has no idea about what actually happened to you and Tim. So no, I wouldn't.”

“Good.” Jason sighs. “God, this is a mess. And I have class this afternoon that I gotta get back for. Before I go, I'm gonna check on the studio and the cemetery, see if there's anything suspicious since yesterday. That ok with you?” he asks, looking over his shoulder. 

Bruce frowns, but nods. “Just be safe.”

“I will,” he turns back to the eggs and finishes up, then turns off the stove, shuffles them onto a plate, grabs a fork and a glass of water, and joins his dad at the kitchen table.

Bruce throws an arm around Jason’s shoulders, pulls him close, and kisses the top of his head. “We're gonna figure this out.”

Jason sighs again. “I know. Last night just really freaked me out, and I'm still… unsettled. But hearing about the others actually makes me feel safer.” He leans away a little, and Bruce drops his arm. He starts eating his breakfast. “I mean, why go to the trouble of killing our most dangerous villains just to hurt us. Plus, there would be some kind of evidence intentionally left, like a creepy note, or a calling card, but there's nothing if you can't even find anything.”

“I'm not perfect, you know,” Bruce chuckles.

“Pause- Sorry, can you repeat that? Not sure I heard it right.”

“‘I'm not perfect.’”

“Wow, you did say it. It's a miracle!”

“Brat,” Bruce chuckles, ruffling Jason's hair.

Jason laughs quietly and Bruce smiles at him. 

“Alright, enough shop talk, Alfred's gonna yell at us if we keep it up.”

Jason hums in agreement.

“Is Detective Fiction still horribly boring?”

“Oh, geez,” Jason cringes, “I totally forgot to tell you that I swapped it out. I couldn't do it, those, those… plebians!”

Bruce chokes on his coffee from laughter. “Plebians? It was that bad?”

“Yes!”

“Ok, what did you switch to then?”

“Um… heh.” Jason lightly blushes and looks down at his plate, stabbing a piece of egg to eat. He finishes the bite before looking back up. “Intro to Photography…”

“Yeah?” Bruce says softly, with that annoying, empathetic look in his eyes. “Tell me about it.”

“It just made sense, ya know? I run the studio, least I could do is be mildly competent in photography. Plus, I don't know, it feels like he's with me when I'm in class. Is that, like… silly?”

“No. It's sweet. Tim's always gonna hold a special place in your heart, and that's ok.”

“Speaking of a place in my heart…”

“Conner?”

“How did- right, Batman, nevermind,” he mutters.

“Go for it, sweetheart. He's a good guy. I'm happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Jason smiles shyly, glancing away again. 

“But remind him about my Kryptonite stash.”

“Wh- dad! Oh my god, no.”

“I'm kidding. …mostly.”

“Mhm, sure. Everyone believes that.”

“Good, they should.”

Jason rolls his eyes but finishes up breakfast with a smile.

“Jason, hi,” Janet answers. 

“Hey,” Jason returns the greeting, “You home?”

“Work, actually. Is everything alright?”

“Mostly. Um, something urgent came up last night and I need to talk to you about it. Can you meet me at the studio?”

“Did something happen to it?”

“No! No, it's fine. …I think.”

“I'll be there in fifteen.”

“Thank you,” Jason sighs, “see ya soon. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Jason presses the button on the steering wheel to hang up, and continues driving for the next couple minutes before pulling into the parking lot and quickly finding a spot. He hops out of the car and walks toward the entrance.

He pauses at the Tim Drake Photography Studio sign and walks slowly around it, checking for anything unusual. Nothing there. He takes a lap around the exterior of the building, nothing. He even climbs up to the roof and meticulously checks it over. Still nothing.

He returns to the parking lot and waits a couple minutes until he sees Janet’s car turning into the lot. Soon she's out of the car and walking towards him, eyes narrowed suspiciously at his jacket.

When she gets to him, they hug. 

“You're wearing your anxiety jacket,“ she says in lieu of a greeting.

“Yes, thanks detective,” Jason snarks. Ok maybe he has a tendency to wear this jacket when he's stressed.

“What happened?”

Jason nods at the wall of the building and walks over, leaning against it. She follows and mirrors him.

“Last night there was a warehouse explosion,” Jason says, voice low. “They found a body, beaten by a crowbar and dead from smoke inhalation.”

Janet stiffens. “Just like-”

“Yeah. And it was the Joker.”

“He's dead?”

Jason nods. “There’s only so many people that know that story, and to do it on the exact anniversary of Tim's death?”

“It can't be a coincidence.”

“Exactly. It has to be someone that knows us. And… look, you're protective of me, have reason to avenge Tim, and are really rich…”

Janet snorts. “Jason, I did not call a hit on the Joker, much as I would have liked to.”

“I had to ask. It just fit really well.”

“I can see how you'd reach that conclusion.”

“There's more. Five more villains were killed.”

“In the same way?”

“No. Scarecrow, Two-Face, Black Mask, Pyg, and Zsasz were killed via lethal injection.”

Her eyes widen. “Good lord. And you think it's the same person. It could also look like I was trying to protect you,” she realizes.

“That- yeah, that was another reason I asked. Joker was rage, but the others were all brutal efficiency. So someone has a personal connection to Tim and/or me. Do you remember any of his friends' names?”

“Ives. His first name was… Sebastian, that's it. I'm sorry, that's the only one I remember.

“Is it possible he could've figured out the truth like Tim?”

“It's certainly possible. I'd imagine Tim was drawn to people with similar intellects. But unless he was there I don't know how he could have possibly known about the warehouse and the smoke inhalation. I think the connection is through you.” 

“Most likely. Guess I'll just write a list of everyone that knows or possibly knows, and has the skillset for this, and cross them off one by one.” He sighs. “I just wanna figure this out and put it to bed so everything can calm down again. My head’s a mess.”

Janet smiles gently at him. “You will figure this out. You're too smart not to. Just try not to run yourself ragged. Take breaks, see your friends, see your friend.”

“I… I don't know if I should even ask right now, with everything going on.”

“It might actually be just the break you need to reset, and when you get back to investigating maybe something will click,” she suggests.

“Ok, that's… actually a good idea. Anyway, I'm gonna go inside to look around, see if anything’s out of place. I wouldn't mind a second pair of eyes.”

“Sure. Means I can avoid the office for longer.”

“Right, that's the only reason.”

“Of course.”

Jason chuckles and shakes his head, leading into the building. Janet looks around while Jason chats with the two staff members present to see if they've noticed anything out of the ordinary. They hadn’t, so Jason looks around the studio too. They come up with nothing.

“Guess that's a good thing,” Jason sighs as they walk back outside. “I'm gonna head to the cemetery next, just in case. Thanks for coming so quickly.”

“Of course. Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.”

“I will.”

“Good. And I know you'll get him. Just, pace yourself. I know the others will be investigating just as much.”

“Yeah…” Jason hugs her, “Thanks, mom.”

“You're welcome,” she responds, with a soft smile and a kiss on the head. “Be safe, I love you.”

“Love ya too.” They separate and Jason walks to his car, sitting down with a heavy sigh and starting it. “Who the fuck are they?” he asks aloud, as if the answer's gonna just pop in his head. Sadly, it does not. 

He turns on the radio and starts for the cemetery.

-ooting for the anti hero

“Appropriate,” Jason mutters, because so far that's what it seems like this person is. He changes to the 80s station.

-slow motion, as you turn around and say-

“Oh come on!” Maybe 70s will be better. 

-play my music in the sun, I'm a-

“That's it, we're done!” He jabs the radio power button with more force than strictly necessary. Because what the actual hell? Anti-Hero, fine, that's on all the time. But those others? God that's so creepy. Surely that's a coincidence, right? Please be a coincidence. Or maybe the news got out… ok that's a possibility. That would explain it all. Yeah, that's gotta be it.

He shudders and continues driving. When he gets there, he hurries up to the spot.

He rounds the corner into the row with Tim's grave and freezes when he sees it, blood running cold. His flowers are gone. And they weren't simply cleaned out like they do sometimes, because the Graysons’ were still there. 

He yanks out his phone and redials Janet as he quickly walks up to the grave. He starts talking the instant the phone connects. “Did you take Tim’s flowers?”

“Wh- the tulips? No, of course not.”

“They're gone.”

“Odd. Were they just cleaning up?”

“No. Surrounding graves still have the flowers that I saw yesterday. There's too many coincidences, this must be connected. Our mystery person definitely knows what happened to Tim.”

“Are you possibly jumping to conclusions?”

“I really don't think I am. Something is happening and I have no idea what. Shit. Am I being taunted? Is this some sick joke? I- why would- he's dead, why can't he just be left alone? He can't even have his fucking flowers! When I find-”

“Jason,” Janet snaps.

He shuts up. She's using her CEO voice.

“Breathe.”

He listens and calms down after several deep breaths. “Thanks.”

“You're welcome. Now go back to California. I don't think Gotham is benefitting your mental health right now.”

“Definitely not.”

“Alright. Unfortunately I actually do have a meeting I have to get to.”

“Fun.”

“You have no idea. I'll talk to you later. Bye.” 

“Bye.” He pockets his phone and sinks to his knees in front of the headstone. 

“I'm sorry someone stole your flowers. I don't get why. It's cruel. It's- I'm so tired of this! It hasn't even been twenty-four hours and I just need this to stop. I’m tired of freaking out because this is all really freaking me out.” He takes a couple deep breaths before continuing.

“At least the piece of shit that caused your death is dead now, too. Good fucking riddance. You deserved to live and he took that from you. He took you from me. We're supposed to be together. I don't know in what way, exactly, but at least as best friends.” Jason laughs wetly and wipes his eyes. “Fuck, I haven't cried over you in a while. God, Babybird. I miss you. I'm so sorry. I'll figure this out.”

Jason sniffles and rises to his feet, meticulously checking over every inch of the headstone and surrounding grass for a possible clue and finding nothing, much to his frustration.

“Nothing. Figures,” Jason sighs. “Bye Tim. Thank you for saving me. I love you.”

He walks back to his car, feeling antsy and stressed and he just wants this to be over. He opens the door and stops in his tracks at the sight. 

“What the fuck?” he whispers. he pulls out his phone and snaps a picture, sending it to Janet.

Jason: Found this when I went back to the car.

He pockets his phone and then reaches across to the glovebox to pull out… well, gloves. He puts them on, then picks up the three items, sits down, and closes the door. “What the fuck?” he repeats. 

Two tulip petals, one red and one yellow, and a green leaf. Red, yellow, green. Robin. At this point it's not surprising that they know his identity, but the proof is no less unsettling. He pulls off the glove, making sure the items stay on it, and lays it in the cupholder. The other glove goes back in the box.

He opens his door. “Kon, if you're not busy I could really use a hug, I'm kinda freaking out,” he says loudly. He stands from the car, closes the door, and waits.

Kon shows up within two minutes and a tiny sob escapes Jason when they hug.

“Hey, what happened?” he asks gently. 

Jason unloads everything since last night, tears of frustration welling up in his eyes because he just feels lost and nothing is making sense and he just really needed his best friend and this hug has lasted far longer than is socially acceptable but Kon never so much as twitches.

“Shit dude, no wonder you're freaking out,” Kon mutters. 

Jason laughs but it's a little too close to hysterical for his liking. 

“Yikes.”

“Shut up,” Jason says, even if it makes him smile. “Thanks for the hug,” he says, finally letting him go.

“You're welcome,” Kon says, cheeks pink.

“Uh. Why are you blushing?”

“I think you shared more than you meant to but you were kinda ranting and didn't notice.”

“Oh god what did I say?”

“Yes.”

“I said ‘yes’?”

“No, that's my answer.*

“Answer to wh- oh.” Great, now Jason’s the one blushing. “Well, that wasn't romantic at all,” he grumbles.

“You can make it up to me on our date,” Kon chuckles. 

“Conner Kent,” Jason gasps, “are you propositioning me?”

“Nah, just distracting you. Saturday?”

“Works for me. Three?”

“Sure. What?”

“Kinda wanna do something really cheesy.” Jason has an idea. A super lame, super awesome idea.

“Of course you do.”

“I'm a romantic, sue me.”

“I can't afford to sue you.”

“And don't you forget it,” Jason grins.

Kon laughs quietly. “What did you have in mind?”

“Santa Monica Pier?”

“Hm… will I get a kiss on top of the Ferris wheel?”

“If you win me a giant stuffed animal, I will consider it.”

“I hope there's a giant bat.”

“I hope there's a cow.”

“Seriously? Farm jokes?”

“Always,” Jason grins. They both laugh quietly.

“Now, you feeling better?”

“Uh, scoring a date with you? Hell yeah I feel better,” he laughs again.

“You'll feel even better on Saturday,” he smirks. 

Jason blushes again. “Geez, someone's flirty today.”

“You bring out the worst in me.”

“Lucky me.”

“Are you ok to be left? I know you gotta get back to the manor and back to class.”

“Yeah, I'm alright. Thank you,” he sighs, but this time it's from relief more than anything.

“You're welcome. And I’m still only one… call a-”

“Conner Kent, do not.”

“...-way.”

“God damn it Cassie.” She never should have shown that to him.

“It's a good song!”

“You're insufferable.”

“You love me.”

“So do you.”

“Oh no, you caught me,” Kon says dryly.

Jason laughs. “Anyway, I'll see ya Saturday. If not earlier.”

“Heck yes.”

They hug again, briefly, and this time Jason pecks Kon’s cheek. “Bye Conner.”

“See ya,” he says with a wink, then disappears. 

Jason covers his mouth to muffle his giddy laughter. “Holy shit! Holy shit he said yes!” 

He gets back in the car and calls his brother as he starts driving home. It's answered on the third ring. “Are you ok?”

“Kon said yes,” he laughs brightly.

Dick gasps. “Holy shit he said yes!”

Jason laughs harder at Dick unknowingly copying him.

“I'm so happy for you, Little Wing! And… I really need to get back to class.”

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Jason giggles. “Go, I'll tell you more later. I love you, Dickie.”

“Love you too, Jay.” He hangs up.

Jason drives straight to the Batcave, feeling so much lighter about everything. He's not gonna let weird Gotham shit mess this up for him. He deserves this, goddamnit.

When he gets to the cave, he carries the flower parts to the lab with gloves to analyze them for possible fingerprints or other potential clues. 

When nothing shows up, Jason isn't even remotely surprised. He bags up the stuff and leaves it out on the counter for now. At the Batcomputer, he types up an explanation of the event and then his lab findings, and flags it to pop up next time B uses the computer. He also shoots him a text with the photo and an abbreviated explanation. There. That's enough of that for today. 

“Ok buddy, be good,” Jason says, patting Terry’s head before locking up the house and heading to class.

As he walks, it suddenly hits him. 

Oh crap.

This is Jason's first date.

Chapter Text

“Oh you gotta be shitting me,” Jason whines when his phone starts blaring in the middle of a chill Friday night with his team. He grabs it up and silences the alarm then reads the message and groans. “Seriously?”

“Riddler?”

“I'm gonna say Mad Hatter.”

“It's obviously plant monsters.”

“Blackgate breakout,” Jason tells them, standing from the couch. “I gotta go guys, I'm sorry.”

“No worries, just be safe,” Cassie smiles, giving him a quick hug.

“Call us if you need the super duper awesome dream team to come kick some convict butt, woo!” Bart zips into his arms, hugs him, and zips back to the couch. 

“We’ll be there in a heartbeat,” Kon smiles, a tiny hint of worry in his eyes as he stands for a quick hug as well.

“I know. Thanks guys, I love you.” He turns to his dog and scratches behind his ear. “Hey bud, you stay here, ok? Ok. Good boy.”

He hurries down to the zeta and beams to the Batcave, then runs to the suits to throw his on.

Cardinal double checks his equipment, hums in satisfaction, brushes his fingers over Tim’s case, and runs to his bike.

“Hey Alfie!” he yells as he passes him.

“Evening, Master Jason.”

He hops on his bike and guns it out of the cave. He activates his comm. “Cardinal here. Lemme know where I can help.”

“Oh, great timing Little Wing! A small group crammed into a prison van and is attempting to rob GCNB in the Financial District. They're armed.”

“On it. Your status?”

“B and I are fighting inside the prison and BG is out front plugging the leaks.”

“Understood. Cardinal out.”

“Nightwing out.”

He races down to the bank, parking a block away and grappling up to the nearest roof. He runs across the rooftops until he reaches his target. The group is in the back parking lot, guarding the three people working on unlocking the ramp down to the loading dock where the money transfers to the vault take place. There's quite a few of them, more than Jason expected, honestly. There's probably, eh, eighteen of them? Ah, no problem. He's won against worse odds. 

Cardinal drops down silently and grabs one of them by the neck, squeezing until he drops to his knees, unconscious. He gently lays him down and moves on to the next guy. Success again. The third guy, however, happens to turn at the exact moment to see Cardinal right before he strikes, and he's quick enough to yell ‘red bird’ as a warning to the rest of the crew. Well, shit.

Cardinal takes him down and is then surrounded way too quickly by ten armed men. 

“Hey boys. You having a party without me?” he grins. Everyone moves at once, and two get knocked out before someone lands a lucky hit to the back of his head. He may have a helmet on, but it was still strong enough to jar him and make him fall to one knee. 

“Shit,” he mutters, rolling aside and popping back up. “That was rude.” 

Some asshole raises his arm and shoots him right in the chest. His suit’s bulletproof but it still hurts like a bitch and knocks the wind out of him when he falls again. “We can be ruder, stupid fucking bat,” one of them spits.  

“Not stupid enough to shoot someone in a bulletproof suit,” Cardinal groans, slowly rising to his feet. They all rush him, and then out of nowhere a black shape drops from a roof, and two men go down after their heads are knocked together. Ouch.

“The fu- ahh!” 

Cardinal winces at the crack of bone in a man's arm as the figure snaps their humerus and then jumps to kick him in the head. 

The remaining men are sent into a scared frenzy, and Cardinal joins in, helping this mysterious entity take them down. He only takes down a couple, because the other person is shockingly fast. Finally, the group is in moaning piles of pain. 

The figure pulls a gun from their thigh, and fires quickly three times. It's not a bullet, it's some kind of… electrified dart, because each shot hits one of the three men working on the ramp, and they drop with an accompanying crackle of electricity, twitching on the ground.

“Um. Thank you, uh…?”

The figure turns around and Jason finally gets a good look at them. They're a little taller than him, and they're built like Nightwing, just… smaller. Like someone stuck Nightwing in a word document, clicked the picture, and dragged the corner down to shrink him. He thinks it's a guy, based on the height and the muscle definition - and a hell of a definition it is, good lord - but the chest is well armored, so he's not sure, and they could just be a tall woman. 

Their suit is mostly black, with no cape. There's a stylized red X on their chest. Around their waist is a thin, gray utility belt. On their sides, from the bottom of the rib cage down to mid thigh are horizontal, flat gray pouches for even more storage, with a red outline encircling. The inside of the elbows are red, with a thin red line curving up to their shoulder. Even more, more storage space is available in the form of gray chevrons on their gauntlets. The gloves are black with red palms, just like his black boots with red soles. On their head is a black helmet with a gray faceplate, not too different in design from Cardinal’s, except for the vertical black lines where their mouth should be. Built-in mechanical rebreather? Unusual. Unless they've been going after villains that are fond of using gases - like Joker and Scarecrow. He's willing to bet this is the person that killed them. They’re a walking arsenal and they move like an assassin. And they're also really creepy, just standing there, staring at Cardinal.

Oh, maybe they didn't understand that it was a question. “Does all the muscle and badassery come with a name?”

Silence.

“You gonna make me guess like The Little Mermaid?” he jokes. “Fine.” His eyes flick to their chest. “Red X?”

Their head tilts slightly and Cardinal feels like he's being judged.

“It was a reasonable guess,” he grumbles.

Silence.

“Not much of a talker, are you? Wait, shit, are you mute? Oh god you are, aren't you? I'm such an asshole, I'm s-”

“No,” they say, voice electronically distorted through their helmet, coming out unnaturally deep.

“Oh. You just sound terrifying, got it. Um, anyway yeah, thanks.”

“Revenant,” they add, turning on their heel and walking away.

“Hey, no wait, I have questions.”

They keep walking, blatantly ignoring him, then grapple up to a nearby roof and disappear into the night.

“Dramatic much?” Cardinal mutters, then calls Alfred to ask him to send GCPD to pick these guys up.

“Ugh, I don't think I even have enough zip ties for you assholes,” he complains to himself, but begins binding their wrists anyway. Turns out he did have enough, and everyone was alive, thank god.

Then, he grabs their firearms, makes sure he flicks the safeties on, and moves them to a nice little pile for the police.

When he hears the sirens, he grapples up and starts to head back to his bike. “Cardinal to Nightwing, all clear.”

“Great,” Nightwing gasps, breathing heavily, "Please hold.”

“Need help?”

“Nah.”

Cardinal waits a couple minutea before his brother gets back to him.

“Sorry, Card,” he chuckles, sounding tired and still breathing quicker than usual, “Caught me right in the middle of a fight, but that was the last one. We're done. You were really fast, I'm impressed.”

“I had unexpected help.”

“Oh, Harley jump in again? Kinda figured she'd be throwing a party right now…”

“Uh… no, a new person. I think they’re our culprit? But they jumped in to help me when I got shot.”

“You were shot?! ” he shrieks.

“Oh my god, my suit’s bulletproof, you know this.”

“That shit still hurts!”

“I'm alright, Wing.”

“Ok, tell me about this per- actually, just wait til B and I get back so you only have to do it once.”

“Yeah. Thanks. I'm gonna head back to the cave and create a file on them. See ya in a few?”

“Yeah, we won't be too long. Nightwing out.”

“Cardinal out.”

Alias: Revenant

Name: ?

Age: ?

Sex: ?

Gender: ?

Height: Approx. 5’9”

Weight: Approx. 165 pounds

Hair Color: ?

Eye Color: ?

Status: Alive

Equipment:

• Helmet (rebreather?)
• Gun with electroshock projectiles
• Utility belt with unknown

Characteristics:

• Expert hand-to-hand combatant, likely League trained
• Exceptional speed
• Electronic voice modulation
• Short-spoken
• Freakishly calm
• Dramatic exits

“Well… ‘s not much to go on,” Dick sighs.

“More than we had this morning,” Bruce says. 

“Exactly,” Jason nods at him. “And here's the footage from my helmet cam.” He starts the video and steps aside so they can watch closely.

“Uh, wow. Ok. That’s… terrifying, and also kinda hot?” Dick mutters after it ends.

Jason snorts. “I mean… yeah.”

Bruce ignores that part of the conversation. “You're right about the League. I recognize some of the moves. The speed though… it makes me think Lazarus Pit. But you're right, they're exceptionally calm and controlled,” he adds, thinking face on. “I agree that this is likely our person.”

“Ok but, why are they so obsessed with you, Jay?”

“Hell if I know, apparently I'm a stalker magnet.”

“The name ‘Revenant’ is interesting.”

“Creepy, dad. The word is creepy.”

“Yeah and the mask kinda looks like a skull, too. Def creepy.”

“Hey, do you think they've actually died before?” Jason asks Dick.

“That's not… possible, right?” Dick looks at Bruce. 

“Generally, no. And the pits don't resurrect.”

“Maybe they just got really close to dying and were thrown into a pit and had some epiphany and the back from the dead thing is metaphorical.”

“Yeah, that makes more sense, Jay.”

“Yeah. Anyway, I'm gonna head back to the Tower. At this point I'm too tired to keep thinking about them.”

“And you gotta rest up for your daaaate,” Dick grins.

“Dick!” Jason hisses.

Bruce quickly turns around to face them. “You're going on a date?”

“...oh. Crap, sorry Jay.”

“I… yeah, dad. Kon and I are going to Pacific Park tomorrow. Was kinda a spur of the moment thing and I didn't want you to make a big deal out of- hey!” 

Bruce practically crushes Jason against him in a hug. “I'm so happy for you, Jaylad,” he rasps.

“-it,” Jason grumbles. He hears a distinct phone camera click and shoots Dick a glare. Another click.

“Dad, seriously, are you getting emotional? I'm nineteen. I'm a big boy, it's just a date.”

“Baby's first date!”

“Dick I swear to god.”

“I know, I just… I'm happy you’re moving forward. You deserve this, more than anyone.”

“Dad,” Jason whines, his own eyes watering at the sheer sincerity in Bruce's words.

“I love you,” Bruce murmurs and then kisses the top of his head. “So much.”

“I love you too.”

“Aw, this is so sweet!”

“Dick!” they both snap.

“I'm not sorry.”

Jason sighs in exasperation and lets go of his dad. “Goodnight Dad, night Dickie.”

“Night.”

“Goodnight Little Wing, I love you.”

“I love you too.” He gives his brother a quick hug, and then makes his way back to the Tower. He assures his team that everything went well, then calls Terry, heads to his room, falls into bed, and goes to sleep.

Chapter Text

“Ah, superspeed, so useful,” Jason chuckles when Kon sets him down on Santa Monica Pier the instant after they zeta to Los Angeles.

“Ah, humans, so slow,” Kon teases.

“I feel so patronized,” Jason sniffles, wiping away a non-existent tear.

Kon snorts and reaches over, taking Jason’s hand and intertwining their fingers. “This ok?”

“Uh, y-yeah,” Jason nods, cheeks turning pink. “Super ok. Pun not intended.”

Kon lifts up their hands and lightly kisses Jason’s knuckles.

“Oh my god, didn't take you for a sap,” Jason laughs, squeezing his hand. “C'mon.” He leads them under the huge Pacific Park purple octopus sign and into the theme park.

“Sooo… whatcha wanna do?” Kon asks, looking around at everything ahead of them. All the food stalls and the games and the rides, the Ferris wheel slowly rotating in the background, the throngs of people wandering around.  

“Honestly, no idea. I didn't really research or anything. Maybe just… walk around and see everything, get some carnival food? We can also just leave if you want. This is… admittedly kinda lame,” Jason laughs. They're superheroes, so the bar is very, very high for a ride to actually be entertaining, and it looks like every ride here is below it. 

But still, the energy of the place is just… exciting. The steady hum of crowd noise, joyful screams from the rides, random outbursts of laughter, little kids yelling happily with exhausted parents in tow, plus the little electronic dings and whirs from all the games, an occasional victorious cheer. The air smells like burgers and freshly baked waffle cones not to mention pizza and popcorn and something… else?

Kon shrugs at Jason’s suggestion. “Not like we got anything better to do, and it's time with you anyway.”

Jason smiles at him, then abruptly pauses, looking in the window of a shop where he immediately identifies that last smell. “...hey, you want some funnel cake?”

“Hell yes.”

“‘s good,” Jason hums happily, nabbing another bite of the hot, sugary treat from their plate as they sit at a picnic table, cozied up against each other. Kon’s really warm which is nice cause it's actually fairly chilly out, especially right over the ocean like this.

“Mhm, except now I really wanna kiss you because of the powdered sugar on your mouth.” Their mouths are really close together right now. Maybe Jason should. 

“Oh, only cause of the sugar?” He decides to tease him instead. 

“Yep.”

“You lying liar, you would want to anyway.”

“You can't prove that.”

Jason gives him a deadpan look and then slowly wipes his mouth with a napkin, removing the sugar.

“Oh, damn, you can.”

“Yeah, ‘s what I thought.”

Kon huffs out a laugh and wraps a warm arm around Jason, who sighs into it and slips an arm around him in return. 

“You ok?” Kon asks softly, momentarily dropping the confident, flirty facade. And don't get Jason wrong, he enjoys flirty Kon and enjoys flirting back. But the little moments of soft Kon? When the guy that could easily lift a car with one hand is all gentle and sweet and affectionate? It pulls Jason closer to the edge of the cliff, the one he's been scared to approach for too long, scared to even acknowledge, scared to want. 

But now the fear has changed into curiosity and anticipation and Jason is close. The rock beneath him is beginning to fracture, cracks slowly spiderwebbing across the surface until eventually it's going to crumble away and nothing will be holding Jason up anymore. 

Or will something trigger it? Will a kiss be the pebbles beneath his shoes that make him slip? Will waking up with their limbs tangled together be the gust of wind that pushes him over? 

Jason isn't sure exactly when it'll happen, or how, but god, he already knows. 

He's gonna fall. 

And Kon’s gonna catch him. 

“I’m really good actually,” Jason chuckles, and decides to take a chance. “Do uh… you wanna go back to my place? Watch a movie?” 

“Netflix and chill?” Kon says, voice suggestive. Aaaand he's back.

“No,” Jason laughs, blushing. “How about Netflix and cuddle?”

“Hm… think I'll say… yes. But maybe finish our little lap here first? See if anything catches your eye?”

“Already been caught,” he grins, winking. The tips of Kon’s ears go red which is actually insanely cute and Jason snickers at him.

They finish up the last bites of the funnel cake as they wander around the park. When they start heading for the gate, strolling past all the games, Kon suddenly stops. Jason pauses and turns back.

“Yeah?”

“Dude.” Kon points and Jason follows with his eyes.

“Oh my god. Fuck yes.” Jason pulls his hand from Kon’s, yanks out his wallet and walks up to the game operator, slapping down a twenty. “Two please. Keep the change.”

“Here ya go!” they smile, setting two buckets full of rings on the counter for them to throw at the bottles. “Good luck!”

“Thanks.” He turns to Kon. “For you,” he says, pushing one of the buckets in front of him.

“Ugh, you're gonna do so much better than me,” Kon whines.

“I know. Try to keep up,” Jason taunts. He throws a few as a test of their weight. He's a Bat, he’ll be fine. He intentionally misses a few more, feigns frustration, then bites his tongue in concentration and throws another, nailing the extra point green bottle. “Yes!” he whoops, throwing a victorious fist in the air. 

Kon rolls his eyes at the antics and concentrates on his own throws. He eventually lands one on a clear bottle, and a small but sincere grin of success shows in the corner of his mouth. Jason pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of it because it's freakin’ adorable. 

Eventually Kon lands on another clear one, and then he's out. Jason finishes his own bucket with one more ring landing on a bottle, because he can't have Kon win.

“Wow, you guys were great! You can get two large and one small prize, or five small prizes.”

“We want them,” Jason points. 

The attendant laughs. “Good choices. They're pretty cool, huh?”

“The coolest,” Kon smirks. Jason side-eyes him in amusement. 

“Now, you get one more small prize.”

Kon gestures at Jason to pick.

“Um...” Jason hesitates, scanning over the options. Ah. “Blue dragon.”

“You got it. Would you like a bag for all these?”

“Oh, yeah, that would be great.”

They put the five plushies into a large plastic bag and hand it to Jason. “Here ya go,” they smile.

“Thank you so much.”

“You're welcome. Have a nice day, guys.”

“You too.”

Jason and Kon both immediately reach for the other to weave their fingers together as they head for the exit.

“I'm putting the Superboy in my room,” Jason decides when they get back to the Tower and are walking towards the bedrooms.

“Then Cardinal’s going in mine.”

“And we’ll put Kid Flash and Wonder Girl in front of their respective doors. Saphira’s going to my house.”

“Is that their name?”

“Yep.”

“Book character?”

“‘Course,” Jason grins.

“Typical. What's the book?”

“Eragon. I think you'd like it, actually. Dragons and fighting and magic.”

“Oh my,” Kon says dryly.

Jason laughs. “Exactly. You can borrow it if you want, I have it at the house.”

Kon shrugs. “I'll try it.”

“Alright, let's go put these guys where they belong,” he says, handing Cardinal and Kid Flash to Kon.

Jason heads into his room, where Terry is resting in the dog bed. He jumps up with an excited bark and runs the five entire feet to Jason, his tail a blur.

“Hey buddy,” Jason grins, crouching to rub his head. “Miss me?” He receives a lick on the chin as confirmation. “It was barely an hour, you goof. Missed you too, though. Gimme a sec and then we’ll go home, ok?”

Jason stands back up and steps over to his pillows on his bed, nestling the Superboy plushie between them. Then he walks over to Cassie’s room and sets the Wonder Girl in front of her door at the same time as Kon places Kid Flash’s. She’ll totally get a kick out of it, and Bart's gonna love his.

“Good to go?”

Kon zips over and cradles Jason in his arms. “Absolutely.”

“Cool.”

And then they're off, and a couple seconds later Kon sets him down in his living room, and five seconds later is back, setting Terry down. The dog runs over to his open crate and pulls out his favorite toy - a Nightwing symbol plushie. He growls playfully with it in his mouth and rolls around on the ground like a weirdo. At least he can entertain himself. 

He looks over to Kon, already chilling on the sofa. “Hey, you want something to drink? Or a snack?”

“Oh, uh sure, thanks. Got any Zesti? And I'm good for a snack.”

“Ok.”

“Cause I got you,“ he grins cheekily. 

Jason laughs and lightly blushes again, tossing Saphira onto his bed as he heads to the kitchen. “Cute.”

“Thanks, I try.”

“You succeed.” He grabs the soda out of the fridge and returns to the living room to see- seriously? He sighs dramatically at the sight. “No please, make yourself at home.”

Kon laughs but he doesn't move, remaining on his back, stretched across the couch, jacket tossed into the armchair and shoes at the door. Which are good ideas. Jason sets the drink on the coffee table, kicks his shoes off towards the door, then pulls his hoodie off and tosses it on top of Kon’s jacket.

“So, you gonna let me sit on my own couch or what?”

“Nah.”

“Alright, fine.” Jason walks over and flops down on top of Kon, head on his chest. His warmth seeps into Jason, making him practically melt against him with a content hum.

“Um. Am… am I supposed to be upset about this?”

“No,” Jason laughs, wrapping his arms around Kon as he does the same. He turns his head to look up at those pretty blue eyes. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Kon says, smiling softly.

“Whatcha wanna watch? And don't say ‘you.’”

“Damn it.”

They laugh and Kon squeezes him a tiny bit tighter, and Jason feels ridiculously safe right now, bundled in his arms. His arms that could kill Jason before he would even be able to process. But he knows that will never happen. After being his friend and then crime fighting partner and then teammate, the trust, the faith Jason has in him is absolute.

“Pick whatever, I don't mind. I just like spending time with you,” Kon admits, cheeks reddening.

“Hm. I'm feelin’ eighties, I think. Have you seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?”

“Nope.”

“Oh, man. You're gonna love it. But I am not laying on you for two hours.” Well, ok he totally would, but there are more comfortable places to be. 

“Pity.” In a blink, Kon moves them both so that they're sitting beside each other. Jason leans forward to grab the remote from the coffee table, and then kicks his feet up to rest on it. Kon grabs his soda and opens it, then copies Jason’s positioning.

Except Kon is unacceptably far away, so Jason scoots over to close the half-inch gap between them. A momentary pause, and then Kon’s arm wraps around Jason's shoulders and tugs him even closer. Jason sags against his side and rests his head on his shoulder. Kon kisses his temple, causing a quiet laugh and a reciprocated kiss on the cheek

Jason looks back at the TV, quickly finds the movie, and starts it.

Kon laughs almost immediately. “Pitiful.”

A couple minutes later: “Oh he's cute, holy shit.”

“Right?”

Jason loves every second of watching the movie with Kon. Hearing the frequent little bursts of laughter and feeling the rumble in his chest where he's cuddled up against him, it's unexpectedly… intimate, somehow.

Roughly halfway through, Kon pulls his arm back from around Jason’s shoulders and slumps down a little to snuggle under Jason's arm. Which, no complaints there. He enjoys holding Kon. He kisses the top of his head and the movie continues on.

“You’re still here? It's over. Go home. Go.”

They both laugh at the ending. 

“You were right,” Kon grins, sitting up and stretching his arms, “I really enjoyed it.”

“Course I was, I know you,” Jason smirks, gently bumping him with his shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Kon agrees, “literally better than anyone. You've been there my entire life.” He glances at Jason with a shy smile and slowly reddening cheeks. “Didn't even know what I liked when I met you. About anything. Food, music, books, movies, clothes, any of it. You helped me discover nearly all of it.”

Jason moves to sit on the coffee table, right in front of Kon. He takes both of his hands and looks in his eyes.

“You deserved it,” Jason murmurs, beginning to mirror Kon’s complexion. “You didn't ask to- well ok none of us asked to be here - but you really didn't ask to be thrown into existence as an eighteen-year-old with nothing but a truly staggering amount of implanted knowledge about almost everything even if you'd experienced nothing.”

“Just because I deserved it doesn't mean you had to be the one to put in so much effort.” Kon looks down, nervously biting his lip.

“You can tell me anything,” Jason gently reminds him.

“I know, I'm just trying to figure out how to say this without sounding… cringey or codependent or like, hella needy.”

“Don't overthink it.”

Kon takes a deep breath and looks back up at him. “I was nothing but a maliciously created clone. That’s what you rescued from Cadmus. A weapon.”

Jason brushes his thumbs back and forth over the back of Kon’s hands. “I'm so glad we found you.”

“Me too. And you, you took some clone,” Kon says, voice breaking and tears springing to his eyes, “and you helped them become a person.”

“Oh, Kon, geez,” Jason whispers, his own eyes watering from the depth of the gratitude in his voice. 

“I mean, I think I would've found myself eventually, just much slower, but you made it your mission to help me figure out what I like, figure out who I even am.”

Yeah, Jason pretty much did. He loved those moments with Kon. He was constantly inviting him over for little ‘discovery days.’ 

Sometimes Jason would pick a genre of music, find a playlist, and they'd just listen for hours. Jason made sure he was thorough, he even included the genres he didn't like. Admittedly, that's not many. And even the ones he didn't like, seeing someone experience them for the first time made them enjoyable.

Kon enjoying classic country was not on Jason’s bingo card, but even better was when he walked in on Kon singing ‘Jolene’ a few days later, which Jason is never letting go. (But he also made it clear he wasn't actually making fun of him, it was just really funny seeing Superboy singing Dolly.)

Or sometimes they'd binge movies. Jason did his best to randomize those, because one genre back-to-back-to-back gets real repetitive real quick. He seemed to gravitate towards comedies more than action/adventure, or horror. Which is fair considering their night jobs.

Food was another fun one. Kon was frequently at the manor, and Jason made sure to invite him every time they were having something he knew the guy hadn't had before. Or if the team was together they'd get a bunch of takeout from a restaurant. With Bart, wasting food was never a concern. And Jason has taken Kon to many a fast food restaurant, too. Turns out he isn't picky, he'll eat pretty much anything.

He also dragged Kon through every store in the mall to look at clothes, with mixed results. Jason has no idea where Superboy's slightly douchey punk look came from, but it works for the hero. Kon himself actually dresses pretty casually, usually jeans and a T-shirt, sometimes a hoodie.

Books were an easy category to explore. He could just throw a book at Kon and boom, done in ten minutes. It's not his favorite hobby though. But he seems to like fantasy and/or sci-fi well enough. 

Gaming was a group actvity to discover. He’s hilariously competitive with all of it. Mario Kart, Super Smash, hell even Animal Crossing, he was the first one to catch everything. (They each have a Switch, courtesy of Bruce, for ‘teambuilding.’ In reality, it was because Jason asked.) Gaming turns Kon into a menace.

Kon continues, “I wouldn't be the person I am today without you. I know it's been implied but I don't think I've ever actually said it. So thank you,” he rasps, laughing quietly at himself as a couple tears break free.

Jason moves back beside Kon and pulls him into his arms, giving him a crushing hug. “You never have to thank me for caring. But you're welcome, god, of course you're welcome.” He reaches up to brush away Kon's tears before continuing the hug. 

“I never stood a chance,” Kon laughs wetly. “Falling for you was inevitable. You're my… my…”

There's so many ways for Kon to finish that sentence and Jason is silent in anticipation, wrapped around his best friend.

“You're my goddamn Polaris.” 

Holy shit. Jason's his north star? That's- “Conner…”  

“If I ever feel lost or confused or, or aimless, all I gotta do is find you and I know I'll be alright.”

Jason laughs even as his own tears start trickling. “You fucking sap. Jesus, Kon, you're not supposed to make people cry on dates.”

“I'm sorry,” he laughs, “‘s your fault.”

“C’mere,” Jason murmurs, shifting to lightly press their foreheads together. He closes his eyes and takes several breaths with him. When he opens them, he loosens his hug and leans back a little. “You are an incredible hero and an amazing person and I am lucky to have you in my life, no matter what we end up as. But hopefully it's a lot more of… this,” he grins, pushing Kon onto his back and resting on top of him again.

Kon laughs as he wraps his arms around him and throws a leg over one of Jason’s. It causes Jason to blush and makes his heart rate go up a little. 

“Was… was that ok?” Kon asks, no doubt hearing the change. 

“Y-yeah, just surprised me for a second,” Jason chuckles. He moves down a little to rest his ear right above Kon’s heart, smiling when he hears the strong, steady - soothing - thumping. He sighs happily and rests his eyes.

Kon snorts. “Tell me you're not falling asleep.” He moves one hand up to Jason’s head and gently cards his fingers through his hair. 

“Nah. 'm just content.”

The hand in his hair moves to cup his cheek, thumb slowly brushing across it. “I love you,” Kon says quietly.

Jason opens his eyes and looks up at him with a soft smile. “I love you too.”

The thumb moves down to lightly run over Jason's bottom lip, where Kon’s dark eyes are focused and- oh. Jason finds himself really ok with that idea.

He twitches his captive leg to signal that he wants Kon’s to free it - because even in a completely new situation like this, they can still communicate silently. Kon moves his leg and drops his hand at the same time. His heartbeat accelerates and Jason grins at him, which speeds it up even a little more and makes his cheeks pink again. And wow, he loves realizing that he has that effect on Kon. 

Jason slowly sits up, bending his legs under him and straddling Kon’s thighs, causing his breath to catch. 

“Well don't leave me alone up here.”

Kon's eyes narrow and Jason swears he can hear the internal ‘challenge accepted’ because he immediately sits up, and Jason’s temporary bravado promptly jettisons itself from his body.

“Oh god I have no idea what I'm doing,” Jason mutters, letting his forehead thump onto Kon’s shoulder. 

Kon laughs. “You and me both.”

Jason raises his head with a small pout. “True.”

“So just for the record, I'm allowed to kiss you, right?”

“Yes.”

“Great.” Kon kisses him.

…just for a quick second, before pulling back. They both blink and then fall into each other in a fit of laughter. “We’ll work on it.” It dies out fairly quickly. 

“God, that sucked,” Kon groans. “Lemme just…” He tries a slightly different angle, plus Jason is actually prepared this time, and it's definitely better.

It's- Jason wants more. It's not some groundbreaking moment, it doesn't feel like fireworks or electricity or like the outside world has fallen away or whatever other clichés abound. But it feels… right.

Jason lets himself get lost in the fumbling, awkward, perfect kisses. There is no one he’d rather be in this moment with. 

It doesn't take long for the awkwardness and nerves to fade away as they fall into a rhythm of slow kisses. They're just taking their time, and it's almost like they're getting to know each other all over again. Jason still doesn't really know what to do with his hands though. They're just loosely cupping Kon’s waist but that's it.

Eventually Kon puts one hand on Jason’s thigh and lightly squeezes while the other hand slips behind his neck to pull him into a deeper kiss. Jason goes more than willingly and subconsciously tightens his grip on Kon’s waist.

It escalates quickly from there until mouths are open and tongues are involved and Jason is no longer capable of actually analyzing what is happening, he's just reacting.

Wanting to get even closer, Jason shifts forward and Kon’s breath hitches as Jason feels something pressing- they both freeze and then pull apart, and Jason shifts back away from him.

“Oh,” Jason whispers in realization. 

Kon's face is bright red. “I- fuck, oh god. I'm sorry,” he whines, burying his face in his hands.

Jason can't help it, he bursts into laughter. “It's fine. Kon, we were making out, it was bound to happen. It's really ok. Doubt I would've been far behind.”

The hands lower and Kon is still very red. “Just, god, please, tell me you know- I wasn't trying to- I would never-”

“Conner,” Jason says, lightly smacking his hands on his cheeks. “Chill.” He gives him a shake to stop his impending spiral. “I trust you. It's ok.”

Kon nods as his face slowly returns to his regular color. “Maybe we take it down a notch?” he laughs breathily. 

“Of course. Was fun though… right?”

“I mean, think we both know how I felt about it,” he mutters, tips of his ears still red.

Jason snorts. “Ugh, I need to move anyway, my thighs hurt.

“Shit, I'm sorry,” he yanks his hand off of Jason. 

“Not because of you! Just, from sitting like this.”

Kon easily lifts Jason into the air and sets him down on the side of the sofa. 

“Oh thank god,” Jason groans, stretching his legs out. God, that's really not a sustainable posture.

Kon still seems nervous, so Jason reaches over to take his hand. “You're fine. Honestly… I’m kinda flattered,” he chuckles. “Just take a minute to reset. Think about what you want for dinner. I gotta pee anyway.”

Jason pulls his hand free and stands, leaning down to kiss Kon’s extra warm cheek as he walks past and to his bedroom, entering his bathroom. 

While washing his hands after, he looks at himself in the mirror and there's a smile on his face, his hair’s messy, and he looks disgustingly happy. He dries his hands and then quickly brushes his hair back to an acceptable state before heading back to the living room. 

Kon looks more relaxed again. 

“Better?” Jason grins.

Kon nods. “Yeah. Just panicked a little. Sorry,” he laughs nervously.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” Jason grabs his empty soda can. “Dinner?”

“Honestly, I don't care. Chinese, pizza, Mexican, whatever,” he shrugs. 

“Chinese sounds good. Be right back,” he says, nodding at the soda can. “Wanna watch another movie?” he asks as he walks to the kitchen.

“Yeah, sure. Maybe another 80s comedy?”

“Ok!” Jason calls from the kitchen. “I know you've seen Airplane and The Breakfast Club, Beetlejuice… hm.” He tosses the can in the recycle bin and then grabs a glass out of the cupboard for himself.

“Maybe a dark one?”

“Have you seen Clue?” Jason asks, filling up the glass with water from the fridge dispenser.

“No. That the one where Tim Curry murders a bunch of people? You sure you wanna watch something like that considering everything?” 

Everything? Oh, Revenant. Yeah he gets why he asked.

“Uh, correct movie, incorrect summary,” he says, walking back to the living room. “And yeah it's- wait, what did you just say?”

Jason's mind starts whirring in overdrive. 

Tim Curry kills a bunch of people

Tim kills a bunch of people

Tim kills people

Tim kills

Tim

Tim

“-all found dead from lethal injection.”

“That's… oddly humane.”

“Joker was brutally assaulted and suffocated. So, it seems like Joker was personal.”

“It has to be someone we know.”

“It can't be a coincidence.”

His flowers are gone.

“At least the piece of shit that caused your death is dead now-”

Two tulip petals, one red and one yellow, and a green leaf. Red, yellow, green. Robin.

“Revenant.”

“Ok but, why are they so obsessed with you, Jay?”

“Hell if I know, apparently I'm a stalker magnet.”

The glass slips free, nearly shattering on the ground if not for Kon’s superspeed. 

“Oh my god,” Jason whispers, “oh my god.”

“Woah, Jay, hey, what is it?” Kon murmurs, hands on his face and eyes wide with worry. 

“Tim.”

“...Curry?”

“Drake,” Jason rasps.

“Um. Ok, I'm missing something,” Kon says, dropping his hands from his face.

“He's Revenant, it's Tim, it has to be.”

“It… it sounds crazy, I'm not gonna lie. But it also… weirdly makes sense.”

“Can- god, ok, can you do me a favor? A really fucked up, super morbid favor?”

“Yes, whatever you need,” Kon answers immediately.

“Can you x-ray Tim's grave?”

“Oh. Wow. Um, ok. That kind of morbid. Be right back.” He disappears in a blink.

Jason walks over to the sofa and collapses onto it. Terry immediately trots over and lays his head in Jason’s lap. “H-hey buddy. Thanks,” he whispers, petting his head. “I'll be ok. I think.”

Kon appears back and he looks pale.

“Or maybe not,” he mutters to his dog.

“There’s no body and the casket top is broken.”

“Someone stole his body?”

“I uh- oh god you're gonna freak out.” He zips over and takes Jason’s hand. “It… Jason it was broken… from the inside. I could make out- shit- there were scratch marks.”

“Oh god, Timmy,” Jason gasps in horror. Fuck, he had to dig himself out of his own grave . And then… apparently the League kidnapped him and threw him in the pit? Not the weirdest thing they've done.

“I gotta- Kon, I gotta- I'm so sorry, fuck, I am so sorry. But I have to know. I have to find him, I have to.”

Kon sighs. “I understand. What- if it is him, what does that mean for, for us? B-because I love you but I don't- how could I possibly stand a chance against- I'm sorry.” Kon's eyes are watering and oh, god, that's not what Jason wants.

He takes Kon’s hands and squeezes tightly. “I love Tim. I will always love Tim.”

“I know,” Kon whispers, clearly holding back tears.

“But this new person is a stranger. He's not the Tim I lost. I know you far more than I ever knew Tim. Yes, he saved my life. But so have you. And hell, I never even knew that I loved him when he was alive. I only figured it out after.”Jason lets his hands go and cups his cheeks, gently wiping his eyes. “But I know I love you. From the moment I carried you out of Cadmus, I have known. I mean, it was platonic at first, yes. But I…” he laughs shyly and lowers his hands again, “my feelings haven't been platonic for months. I've known I love you, romantically, for longer than I knew Tim at all. I just needed to work through some misplaced guilt with Dinah before acting on it.”

“Tim guilt?” he asks, pointedly.

“Yes,” Jason answers honestly, because there was definitely guilt about moving on and he was not about to bring that into a relationship. “But I did work through it."

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Look, when I have a bad day, you're the one I want to see. When something good happens, you’re the one I want to tell. When nothing happens, you're the one I want to talk to anyway. And when- when I…” Oh, geez, he's made his own eyes water. “God 'm such a loser,” he mutters, wiping his eyes. 

Kon laughs wetly. “I already knew that.”

“Hush,” he mutters before he takes a deep breath. He cups Kon’s face again and looks directly into his eyes. He needs him to understand just how much he means this.

“When I think of who I want to come home to? It's you, Kon-El.”

Jason rarely uses his Kryptonian name. He saves it for extremely serious moments. Moments more serious than ‘Conner’ requires. He could easily count the number of times he's used it. 

Kon's eyes are wide in shock and watery again. “Holy shit, you're in love with me.”

“I… yeah, guess I am.” Damn, Jason had already fallen and hadn't even realized. “Huh.”

Kon leans in and kisses him. It's a really innocent, sweet kiss and Jason can't help but smile into it. And when Kon breaks it, Jason hugs him. “You're the one I want, Kon. This changes nothing for us.”

“Ok,” Kon sighs, “I believe you.”

“Good.” Jason lets go and leans back again. “But if the best friend who died for me is out there, I gotta know. I can't wait. I owe him my life.”

“Ok,” Kon nods, “let's go find him.”

“Thank you. If this was not important I would not be leaving. I would much, much rather stay here with you.”

“I know, it's alright. Where do we start?”

Great question. Where should they start? What's a place that they both- of course. “I think I know.”

Chapter Text

“Headed up, SB,” Cardinal says out loud. He's ditched his helmet for this, only using his mask, but he's still fully suited up in everything else. He's also coded his comm for one-way communication only, to minimize potential suspicion from the Bats. Superboy can hear him naturally, and Cardinal gets his response through the comm.

“Got it. I won't actively listen but if you call for me, I'm there. Be safe. Good luck.”

“I will, and thanks. See ya in a bit.” With that, Cardinal grapples up to Robin and Tim’s rooftop from the first time they met. If it's really him, he's probably keeping an eye on this location somehow. 

Cardinal investigates the area but doesn't find any surveillance equipment. But he just… knows. It's a gut feeling, and he's usually pretty good with those.

He paces on the rooftop for several minutes until at one point he turns around and T- Revenant is just… there. Standing silent, staring at him. Well, probably. His helmet is on, so it's impossible to know. But geez, Cardinal hadn't noticed him at all. 

“That… is extremely impressive. And a little terrifying.”

Revenant slightly tilts his head. 

“...right. Anyway, we need to talk.”

“Then talk.”

“Privately.”

“Why?”

“Because I need to see you. Not Revenant. You. I figured it out.”

“Obviously,” Revenant says, gesturing at the rooftop.

Damn, Timmy kinda turned into an asshole. “Please.”

Revenant turns and runs, but slow enough for Cardinal to easily follow. They eventually make it to some shitty little safehouse with nothing but a laptop, mattress, sofa, kitchen table, and one chair. 

“Spartan,” Cardinal mutters at his surrounding. This is just plain depressing. Tim shouldn't be living like this.

Cardinal removes his mask and adds it to a pouch. Revenant is doing his creepy stare again. “Please take off your helmet. Please let me see you,” Jason says, practically begging. 

He doesnt expect Revenant to do it immediately… until he sees the mask. The shape of their face could be Tim, but less rounded, more angular. Matured. Legally Tim would only be seventeen, but maybe the Pit gave him a boost? Erased his childhood malnourishment? Because also him being this tall should be an impossibility. 

But Jason needs to see his eyes to know for sure, needs to hear his voice, needs some kind of proof. His heartbeat is already elevated and he doesn't even know yet. “Please.”

Revenant’s jaw momentarily tenses before he takes a deep breath. He raises trembling hands up to his face and slowly peels off his mask, tossing it aside. He raises his head and looks at Jason. 

As his heart starts racing all Jason can think is blue. That beautiful Nightwing blue. God, they really are Janet’s eyes. It's him. It has to be. But… maybe it's a clone, or a shapeshifter, or- he needs proof before he completely loses it.

“Tell me something really obscure with no explanation.”

Revenant's mouth twists in a perfect imitation of Tim’s thinking face for a couple seconds, until Jason can tell that he's thought of something and his mouth returns to normal.

“War of the Worlds and Sports Cars Mean Machines,” Tim says, and it is Tim because there's no explanation for anyone else knowing that. Memories can't be cloned, and Tim was is the only person alive that Jason told that story to in that much detail.

“Tim,” Jason rasps, eyes immediately filling with tears.

“Jay,” Tim exhales, voice full of longing and heartbreak and hope.

In an instant, Jason is loudly crying and slamming into Tim, throwing his arms around him and squeezing tightly enough for his arms to ache. 

“I'm sorry!” he sobs, “I'm so sorry!”

Tim hesitantly raises his trembling arms to return the hug, and once the arms fully tighten, he starts bawling. “God, Jason."

Chapter Text

In an instant, Jason is loudly crying and slamming into Tim, throwing his arms around him and squeezing tightly enough for his arms to ache. 

“I'm sorry!” he sobs, “I'm so sorry!”

Tim hesitantly raises his trembling arms to return the hug, and once the arms fully tighten, he starts bawling, “Jason.”

Jason collapses to his knees, taking Tim down with him as he just cries and cries over his miraculously alive best friend. Alive. Tim Drake is alive. 

“Tim,” he sobs, “I never wanted- you weren't supposed- oh my god!” He starts rocking back and forth with his friend in his arms, and the tears do not stop.

“Not your fault,” Tim weeps.

Jason pauses for a split second, finally registering Tim's voice… and then he starts crying even harder. Because even with Tim’s voice pitched up from the tears, it's still deeper than younger Tim’s regular speaking voice. “You grew up. A-and I didn't get to watch!”

“I know.”

“And this f-floor sucks.”

A laughing sob from Tim as he moves his hands to unclip Jason's cape before effortlessly picking him up and carrying him over to the sofa, gently setting him down.

“That shouldn't be possible!” Jason wails, yanking him back into a reciprocated hug that he then immediately stops. “This hug sucks, too.” He stands to remove the top of his suit and his gloves, letting them fall where he stands. It leaves his top half in just a compression shirt as he sits back down.

Tim blinks a few times before hurriedly doing the same thing. When he sits back down they hug again, and it’s much better. He can actually feel the warmth of his… his hero, wrapped around him. The tangible proof that death couldn't even hold this boy down.

They just keep crying for several minutes, Tim's face tucked into Jason’s neck, and Jason’s hand cupping the back of Tim’s head. God, he never thought he'd see Tim again, but he's here and real and alive. 

Eventually they finally stop crying and both pull apart to wipe their eyes, laughing wetly. “You came back,” Jason rasps. 

“Yeah,” Tim smiles.

And then Jason glares and Tim frowns, right before he smacks his hands onto the sides of Tim's face and shakes him. “Never do that again,” he growls.

“I had to,” he says calmly.

Jason drops his hands. “You did not. God, Tim, your life is not less valuable than mine. You don't get to die for me, you don't have the right, how- how- how dare you!”

“I couldn't lose you.”

“And I couldn't lose you! You b-broke my fucking heart, Tim.”

“I prefer you heartbroken over dead and I'm not sorry.” Why is he so calm?

“I come out of a month long coma to immediately learn that the person I fucking adore more than anyone else in the world tricked me into letting them die!”

“No, Jason. I tricked you into letting you live.”

“I didn't want to without you!”

“Neither did I.”

God, Jason really needs Tim to yell at him. “You were supposed to live!” 

Tim's eyes flicker green and he jumps off the sofa away from Jason. “Do you think I wanted to die?!” he snarls.

Jason is speechless. He wanted Tim to actually get mad but that? That was rage. His fists are clenched tightly and trembling, and his eyes are watery again as they continue to flicker unnaturally. For the first time, Jason actually wonders about his safety around Tim.

“Of course n-”

“You think I wanted to sob in terror until I died? You think I wanted to hug you as I suffocated knowing you were getting the clean breaths my body was craving? You think I wanted- you know what the last thing I heard in my head before I died was? I died to the sound of you telling me I was gonna be ok! The sound of you lying to me! I didn't want to fucking die Jason, I just wanted you to live more! I wasn’t suicidal, I was a fucking hero!”

“Tim, please come back,” Jason says gently, patting the sofa cushion. Tim closes his eyes and takes a couple deep breaths before returning, sitting down heavily.

Jason hugs him again. “I know you didn't want to die. I know, Timmy. And yes, you were absolutely a hero. You were so fucking brave. I am so proud of you. I’m just, I'm really upset that you died for me. I hate it. It devastated me. It took literal years of counseling for me to stop feeling like I murdered you. So please never do it again.”

“Then listen to me next time,” Tim grumbles. 

Jason snorts and lets him go, taking the time to catalog the slight changes in his face. “You got really handsome, Timmers.”

“Been hitting the gym.”

Jason laughs. “Yeah, presumed dead Tim Drake, spotted at local YMCA, a ridiculous amount taller.”

“I am not a ridi-”

“You're like five inches taller. That shouldn't even be possible.”

“Still shorter than Dick.”

“Most people are shorter than Dick, he's above average. Plus, you're only seventeen. You're probably not even done.”

“Maybe.”

“So… you really need to go see mo- Janet,” he hastily corrects. 

Aaaand Tim's eyes are green again. But this time they're not flickering, they're solid. Tim walks away angrily, and Jason follows.

“Tim-”

“Shut up! Why the fuck should I tell her I'm alive? Clearly she got the son she always wanted!” he screams. 

“That's not- she regrets-”

“Liar!” Tim shoves Jason, making him stumble back a few steps. “I have never called her mom, never! Why are you so special, huh? Why do you get the maternal affection I've wanted for my entire life!” He throws a punch but it's a lazy one and Jason easily deflects it.

“Tim, stop.”

“Why does she love you when she couldn't even love me?” Punch.

Deflect. “It's not like that.”

“WHY ARE YOU GOOD ENOUGH WHEN I WASN’T?” Punch.

Deflect. “Tim-”

“WHAT DID YOU HAVE THAT I DIDN'T?!” He tries for a kick but Jason catches his boot and then releases it.

“I-”

“TELL ME!” Tim fists Jason’s collar and yanks him closer. “WHAT DID YOU HAVE!”

“A HEARTBEAT!“ Jason yells, then immediately deflates. “I had a heartbeat, Tim.”

Tim lets go with a sob and slumps to the ground. Jason slowly sinks down beside him and lays a hand on his back, rubbing up and down.

“You stole my mom,” Tim whimpers, in such a tiny, hurt voice, even as he leans into Jason's side.

“Look, Tim… I love your mom.”

“But she's mine.”

“I know- and I love having a reliable maternal figure in my life.”

“She was never reliable with me. Why?”

“That's a conversation for you two to have. But I would happily give all of that up if it meant you could've lived Tim. I will still happily give it up if that's what you want. I won't make you share your mom. I would never do that to you.”

“Why did I have to die to learn that my mom loved me?”

“I don't know, Tim,” Jason murmurs. “I’m sorry.”

“And I’m sorry I screamed at you.”

“Pit?”

Tim nods and then lets his head rest on Jason’s shoulder, and Jason wraps his arm around him and pecks the top of his head. “Come home, Tim.”

“I don't have one,” he mumbles.

“You do, Tim. Your bedroom is still yours, at both manors.”

Tim's breath hitches, and he leans away, turning to look at Jason. “Really?”

“Yes. I uh… I actually have stuff to give you in your room.”

“You still bought me presents?”

Jason shrugs. “Yeah. You're my best friend.”

Tim scoffs, stands, and returns to the sofa. “You can't be best friends with a killer.”

“I can and I will. I'm glad you got rid of those pieces of shit. I'm glad you got your revenge on the clown.” Jason rises to his feet to rejoin Tim.

“Should've been killed years ago.”

“I completely agree. Thank you for protecting Gotham. For protecting us. You saved lives. I'm proud of you,” Jason reiterates.

“I don't regret it. It felt good knowing no one would ever be killed by them again.”

“You did it humanely, too. Which, frankly, is so you. Not causing suffering but still removing the problem.”

“Joker suffered.”

“That fucker deserved to suffer. I could not be happier that you beat the shit out of him. Tens of thousands of lives affected by him are grateful to you. They're literally throwing a damn parade tomorrow. For you.”

“That's… kinda awesome,” Tim admits.

“And trust me, no one is sad about the other five either.”

“Six.”

“But…” Jason goes over the list in his head. They must've missed one. “Who?”

“Cartwright,” Tim hisses, eyes flickering again.

Jason blinks. “I don't know who that is.”

Tim's grin turns vicious. “I made him beg me to stop hurting him. And then I continued. His tears were gorgeous. The fear in his eyes. Incredible.”

“Tim…” God, that's sadistic.

“He wasn't a… good boy.” Tim chuckles darkly.

“You're a pretty little thing. Are you a good boy?”

Jason ignores the pounding in his chest, his sweaty-palmed twelve-year-old hand resting on top of the grown man’s clothed bulge. “Yes.”

“No,” The man growls, “It’s ‘yes, sir.’ Are you my good boy?”

Jason ignores the painful lump in his throat and the tears in his eyes. “Yes, sir,” he says submissively. It's fine, he needs the money. He can do this.

“That's better.” He rests his hand over Jason’s. “Now rub me, boy.”

“Yes, sir.” Jason ignores the shame curling in his gut because he can no longer ignore his need for food. It's for the money, he tells himself, as he starts moving his hand. If he does this he can share the cash and protect the other kids from this. He can take it for them. 

Jason gasps. “You- the Christmas party?”

Tim nods. “He's never hurting a child again.”

Jason throws his arms around Tim. “Thank you.” His eyes are burning with tears of relief. It's not that he was scared that he would find himself in the same situation, but, knowing he's gone? Knowing a kid won't have to follow in his footsteps? Thank god. Jason could never personally kill. But that doesn't mean he doesn't want predators taken out. They're evil.

“You're welcome. I… I can finally actively protect you.”

Jason lets go and leans back. “Can you fill me in on everything, Timbit? I'd… I'd really like to know. You don't have to, obviously. But if you want to,” he takes Tim's hand and lightly squeezes. “I’m here.”

Tim squeezes back and then pulls his hand free. “So I woke up in my coffin.”

“Shit,” Jason sighs, wrapping an arm around him. He was really hoping he'd been wrong about that assumption.

He listens while Tim just unloads everything. The coffin, and being found, and being thrown into the pit for enhancement and the training and all their attempts at manipulation and Tim successfully playing all of them by acting like he hated the Bats - and the fact that Tim succeeded is absolutely terrifying. And then the making of his new identity and returning to Gotham and gathering intelligence and planning his attacks against the rogues and spying on the Bats, particularly Cardinal and helping him at the bank and now here they are.

“-and yeah. That's it.”

“God,” Jason mutters, hugging Tim tightly. “I'm sorry.”

“It's been really hard without you.”

“Shit, Babybird.”

“Don't!” Tim snaps, “Don't call me that!” He’s on his feet again, angrily pacing. 

Jason frowns. “I, sorry. I didn't know.”

“I know. It just, it, it hurts too much.”

“Why?”

“I… I hear more love in it than you intend.”

“Oh, Tim…” Jason sighs. 

“Stop. I don't need your pity.”

“I don't pity you, Tim. I'm just sorry.”

“You didn't do anything wrong,” Tim whispers, coming back to sit beside him. “It's… it's my own fault for being in love with you. I, I know you never have and never will love me back.”

“I-”

“Please don't.”

“No, listen. I was in love with you. I just… I only realized it when you were fucking gone forever.”

“You said ‘was,’” Tim sniffles, “Past tense.”

“It… yeah. I’m-”

“I know.”

“Fuck, Tim, if I’d known, I, I would've waited for you. But-”

“Don’t. I was dead. It's fine. I want you to have someone to love. But I-” Tim's voice breaks and he starts crying. “Fuck!” 

“Ti-”

“I wanted that person to be me.”

Jason’s heart starts breaking. 

“Thinking of you is what got me through. I thought about coming back and killing Joker and then you sweeping me off my feet and, and kissing me a-and that after everything. After everything. After dying for you and coming back I thought just m-maybe that I could actually have my, my, my happy fucking ending,” he sobs quietly. 

“I'm so sorry,“ Jason whispers, crying as well. 

“I'm so in love with you, Jason. After the pit and the indoctrination and just, all of it, that was one of the only things I was still sure of. That I love you with, with fucking everything that I am. It's, it's all I've ever known, for years.” Tim hugs his stomach and leans forward as the sobs just keep coming.

Jason has to frantically wipe his eyes to keep the tears at bay as he keeps listening and the cracks in his heart keep growing. 

“A-and deep down, I knew. You're gorgeous, inside and out. I knew it was only a matter of t-time until someone else saw that, I knew that you’d probably be with someone and I do want you to be happy and I am happy that you found someone, b-but that doesn't make it hurt any less!”

And there goes Jason's heart. Boom. Obliterated. “C’mere.” He pulls Tim into his arms. 

Tim hugs him back just as desperately as he did earlier, maybe even more so, and he just sobs brokenly into Jason's neck, held tight in his arms. Jason's eyes are steadily flowing.

“It was s-su-p-pposed t-to be me!”

“I'm sorry.”

When they finally calm down enough to talk again, Jason releases Tim to dry his own face, and then gently pushes Tim back so he can look in his red-rimmed and wet eyes. 

Jason reaches forward and cups Tim's face. “Close your eyes.” He does.

Jason uses his thumbs to gently wipe away the tears right under his eyelids, and then dries his cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Ok,” Jason says, lowering his hands. Tim opens his still-shimmering eyes and they're… god, they're just so sad. “Look, I need you to listen to what I'm about to say and not interrupt me. Can you do that for me?”

Tim sniffles and nods.

“Thank you.” Ugh, this is gonna hurt both of them. He hates this. This is possibly going to be the most difficult speech of his life. But it needs to be given. He takes a deep breath. Ok. He can do this.

“I love you, Timothy Jackson Drake. I love you as deeply as I possibly can. There is no one I love more than you. If it was a competition, it would be a multi-way tie. Waking up to learn that you willingly died for me was the worst moment of my life. Worse than losing mama, worse than Joker beating me, worse than that man. Nothing even comes close. I was gutted. I lost my most trusted person on the planet. The person whose life I was-” 

Jason's voice breaks and he takes a few seconds to collect himself with some deep breaths. He starts again, quieter and slower. “Whose life I was trying to improve, not end.”

“It wasn't-”

“Zip it!” 

The corner of Tim’s mouth actually twitches upward in amusement for a second.

“My fucking world was turned upside down. I lost my best friend, I lost my first love, I lost the person that I would have done anything to have switched with.”

Tim glares at him.

“Don't look at me like that.”

Tim huffs, stops glaring, and takes Jason’s hand, squeezing tightly.

“I know, you would never forgive me. Anyway. And I lost my Robin.”

Tim's eyes water again and he shakes his head.

“Yeah, Tim,” Jason assures him, "You were my Robin.”

“And you were mine,” Tim says quietly, voice cracking and a tear breaking free. Jason swipes it away, then has to wipe his own eyes.

“Robin died, and I couldn't handle continuing to be the thing that killed my best friend. We retired Robin to honor the most selfless Robin that’s ever been. You gave everything, and that deserved to be remembered. We, heh, we saved the best for last.”

Tim scoffs. 

“I'm serious. We - in the cave - we made a memorial for you. It's your suit in a glass case and a plaque says ‘in loving memory of Tim Drake. Robin. The best of us.’”

Tim smiles and his cheeks redden.

“And anyway, I became Cardinal. Still needed a bird, duh. But some people believe a red cardinal means a lost loved one is with them or is sending a message.”

Tim nods and then raises his free hand. 

Jason laughs. “Yes?”

“Cardinals and their symbolism don’t exist outside the Americas. That's how I knew Talia was lying when she said I… soiled Robin, and you hated me for it so you made a new identity. I understood the meaning. She didn't.”

“Smart. But yeah, I’m Cardinal because you're, you’re always with me, no matter what. I… my entire vigilante identity revolves around you because of how important you are to me. Do you know about the studio?”

Tim nods.

“I'm the executive director. I literally run the studio that was specifically made to honor you. Even when you were gone, you're a central part of my hero and civilian life. You mean the god damn world to me, Tim.”

Tim squeezes his hand again. Me too.

“I just, I need you to understand that our relationship is incredibly special. You died for me. You are important to me in a way that no one else ever will be. And I'm not saying this out of thinking I owe it to you or whatever, I'm saying it because it's true. You matter to me just as much as SB. I love you just as much as him. I love you in a way that I will never love anyone else. I love you,” Jason says, starting to cry all over again because he loves Tim to an overwhelming, but very platonic, extent. 

“I would die for you. I would go the ends of the multiverse for you. I would endure the worst torture imaginable if it meant sparing you. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. I love you so god damn much. But-”

Tim's expression crumples and Jason starts crying harder as he releases Tim's hand.

“I don't love you the way you want me to.”

A single sob sounds from Tim, and Jason swears he hears his heart shatter.

“I never want to hurt you, I never want to be the one to cause you pain. I want - fuck - I want to give you everything that you deserve, I wish I could be everything you deserve, b-but I can't. You deserve to fall in love, you deserve to be fallen in love with. I-if I could make myself fall in love with you I would but I've, I've  already fallen for someone else. It's not- you d-didn't do anything wrong, there isn't a part of you that m-makes me not love you like that, you're incredible. The timing, just- I'm sorry.” 

Jason has no idea how he and Tim are even continuing to produce tears at this point, but somehow they are. Jason hates breaking Tim’s heart. He’s spoken words that have directly and intentionally hurt Tim, but he can't give him false hope. That would be even crueler.

Tim looks devastated, and Jason wants to hug him, though he's not sure that would be wanted right now. He reaches out anyway, and when his hand touches Tim’s back, Tim practically tackles him in a hug, crying loudly.

“I'm sorry,” Jason murmurs.

“It’s not f-fair!”

“It's not,” he agrees, “not at all.”

“I never get what I want,” he sobs.

“You will, Tim, I promise you will. Someone out there is going to make you feel like the luckiest guy in the world-”

“You made me feel like that!”

Jason sighs and holds on tightly. He wouldn't have expected getting Tim back to hurt this much but it sucks. Tim is still completely in love with him while Jason just isn't. He wishes he was. Wishes he was head over heels for this amazing person in front of him, but he's not. He loves Kon and has for a long time. He feels this pull from him, and it's something he used to feel for Tim, back before he understood what it meant. And he doesn't feel it for this Tim, which is a super shitty feeling.

“I'm such a fucking mess,” Tim whimpers, “Why am I so pathetic?”

“You're not pathetic, you're hurting.”

“I'm only seventeen a-and I feel like my life is, it's just, it's fucking directionless without you as my, my destination. I'm lost, Jay. I'm so fucking lost.”

“I will do everything possible to help you find your way, whether that's here, or a completely different continent. I will call in every favor I have, everyone I know, to help you if that's what it takes. I mean, shit, I will literally put college on hold for you, I don't care, you're my priority.”

“No. Don't you dare stop college for me, I forbid it.”

“Ok. I won't. How would you feel about seeing a therapist? I can hook you up with Black Canary.”

Tim sniffles and wipes his face on Jason’s shoulder. “I'll think about it.”

“Ok. I- god, Tim.”

“I'll be ok.” 

“You literally sound like you gargled glass and gravel.”

“Hypocrite.”

“Yep. Look, Tim, in another world…” 

“In another world,” Tim whispers in agreement.

Jason lets him go. “Yeah. I… should probably go. Think I've done enough damage for a day.” He smiles sadly.

Tim nods. “Might be for the best.”

“Ok. I still want- I…” he sighs. 

“What?”

“I still want my friend back, b-but I understand if it's too painful, a-and I'm sorry and I respect your decision.”

“I still want you back too. But I need to… mentally adjust what that looks like. I… I need to mourn,” he says quietly. 

“Ok.” Jason nods and starts moving to stand when Tim's hand shoots out and grabs Jason's arm. “Yes?” He turns back to look at him.

Tim looks nervous. “Can- for a moment- can I- can we- can…”

“Can what?” Jason asks softly.

His cheeks redden. “Can I kiss goodbye to what might've been?” 

Jason's eyes hurt so badly, but they're not gonna stop hurting anytime soon because that's one of the most heartbreaking things he's ever heard in his entire life.

“Jesus, Tim. That is a terrible idea for your mental health.”

A small sob. “I don't care. I just wanna know, I just- please, Jason. You, you don't even know, what if, maybe if you-”

Jason sighs, giving up on wiping his eyes because what's even the point by now? “It's not going to change anything and I don't want to give you false hope.”

“Please let me h-have this. I don't c-care if it destroys me I just, I just wanna f-feel something with you.”

Jason's resolve breaks. He was absolutely manipulated and pressured by Tim just now, but fuck, he can't say no to that, look at him. But… is this cheating? Jason and Kon technically didn't say they're together. Is kissing Tim worth the risk of losing Kon? Jason highly doubts Kon would leave him over this, as long as he's immediately honest. “I…” he sighs. “Ok.”

Tim starts crying harder and damn if Jason doesn't as well. 

God.

This is such a bad idea.

He shouldn't do this.

Yet here he is.

Fuck it. 

Jason slips a hand behind Tim's neck, closes his eyes, and pulls him into a long, deep kiss. An overwhelmingly sad kiss. 

Images of a future with Tim flicker through Jason’s mind. Happy innocent kisses, holding hands while running with the dog, cuddling on the couch, falling asleep together in bed, crying at a proposal, standing across the aisle from each other at their wedding, their first dance, moving into a new home, decorating a nursery, bringing home a beautiful baby from the hospital, being dads together, all the blood, swear, and tears of raising their child and watching them grow up, starting to turn gray together, their kid growing up to marry someone of their own, growing older still together, holding their grandchildren, becoming old and slow and weak but still holding hands and pecking each other on the lips.

It's a gorgeous image. A beautiful painting of a life together. But it's a painting that just doesn't fit in Jason’s life. The only place for it is in the attic, collecting dust and never to see the light of day. And he knows sometimes it'll cross his mind and he'll smile wistfully at the sheer beauty of it. Maybe on a bad day he’ll have a fleeting thought, that maybe he should've found a place for it. 

But one day, someone's gonna come take that Life with Tim painting and start cleaning it up. Before long they'll proudly display it on their wall, free of dust. Jason will finally get to see how stunning it is in the spotlight. He’ll know that sure, it would've looked damn good with him, no doubt.

But this new place? This is where it was meant to be. It'll finally be where it belongs, because it was never meant to be Jason's. 

He wonders if Tim can somehow read his mind, because he can hear the choked sob from the back of his throat, he can taste the salt of tears in the corners of his mouth, he can feel the desperation in Tim's trembling hands clutching his shoulders, his quivering lips pressed against Jason's. 

Jason wants to want this. He really wants to. But he doesn't. His own sob sounds through the kiss because he doesn't want to hurt Tim, he doesn't want to break his heart, he doesn't want to be the cause of these freaking endless tears. But he is.

Jason pulls away and opens his eyes. Tim keens and chases after his mouth, and Jason has to lay a hand on his chest to keep him back. “Stop, Tim.”

His hands fall from his shoulders. “N-no change?”

“No. I'm sorry.”

“Ok,” Tim whispers, tear tracks all over his face, stuttered breaths shaking his chest. “Please go.”

“Ok,” Jason replies quietly. He stands from the couch and wipes his face before quickly pulling on his suit, reattaching his cape, and slipping his gloves back on. He looks back at Tim, heart aching at the sight of him hugging his legs to his chest and hiding his face, trembling. 

Jason walks over and crouches to be at his eye level. “Tim, hey.”

Tim slowly raises his head and looks at Jason. “What?” he rasps. 

“I am so incredibly happy that you're alive. Seeing you again is a gift. And I… just, thank you for saving my life. Thank you so much. I'm so, so sorry for how it ended.”

Tim sniffles. “You're welcome.”

“Please stay safe. The thought of losing you again, it’s horrible, so please don't make me.”

Tim nods.

“I…” love you.

“I know.”

Jason sighs. “I wish things were different, Tim. I'm sorry.”

“Me too.”

Jason reaches behind himself to pull a small disc from his utility belt and holds it out to Tim. “Panic button,” he explains.

A teeny tiny smile from Tim graces his face for a split second as he takes the device from him. ‘Thanks,’ he mouths.

“Can I update Revenant’s file?”

Tim nods. 

“Ok.” Jason presses a firm kiss to Tim’s forehead for a couple seconds, then rises to his feet. “Bye Tim.”

“Bye,” Tim says, but it comes out more like a sad squeak than anything. 

Jason reapplies his mask and heads back to the window beside the kitchen. As he walks past, a pop of color catches his eyes and he pauses to look over. In the sink is a very tall glass, right under the tap, about a quarter full of water. It looks like maybe Tim was in the middle of refilling it when he noticed Cardinal on the roof and left in a hurry. 

But it's the contents of the glass that has the damn lump in Jason's throat throbbing painfully. Red and yellow tulips. The ones from his grave. He kept them. They're still in excellent shape after being several days old which means Tim has been taking immaculate care of them. God, and Jason can even see the two flowers where the petals came from. After all the care Tim put into them he doesn't want them to die from lack of water if Tim's too busy… well, crying, to remember to fill it.

Jason walks over and flips up the handle to continue filling the glass to three-quarters. He turns it off and then carries the glass over to the kitchen table and sets it down in the center. There. That's better.

After one last look at Tim’s heartbroken, defeated form hugging himself on the couch, Cardinal steps over to the window, opens it, and slips through. A loud sob comes from inside just before he closes it back. Shit. He grapples away. 

“Superboy, returning to cave.”

“Jesus you sound like shit.”

“Feel like it.”

Cardinal slams the brakes and hops off his bike, strolling quickly towards Kon. He rips off his mask and Kon’s expression saddens when he sees his eyes. 

“Don't,” he says, “I'll be right back.” He hurries to the lockers, changes back into his civvies, and returns to Kon. 

Jason stops a couple feet away and takes a deep breath. “He thought when he got back to Gotham that we would be together. He's still completely in love with me. And I had to tell him that I wasn't. And then, um… he was just so pathetic looking, a-and I’d made him break down sobbing multiple times tonight because I broke his heart and he just, he wanted to kiss goodbye to the future that he thought we'd have and he thought maybe a kiss would change my mind and I said it wouldn’t but he was so insistent. S-so I kissed him, and…”

Kon's brow furrows in worry. “And?”

“And it didn't make me love him,” Jason sobs, throwing himself at Kon, desperate for a hug as the one thousandth breakdown of the night begins. 

Kon hugs back immediately, holding him tightly.

“He saved my life and all he wanted was for me to love him, and, a-and I, I, I couldn't. I had to look him in the eyes and break his heart! I d-don’t want to hurt him, but I, I just don't love him like that.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Kon murmurs, “I really wanted this to be a happy reunion.”

“Yeah. But um,” Jason sniffles, “Are we ok?”

“Yes.” Kon kisses the top of his head. “You kissed your first love back from the dead during one of the most emotionally distressing moments of your life and you don't love him romantically anymore. It would be really shitty for me to be upset at you for that. Plus you told me immediately, and we haven't even talked about what ‘us’ means yet. It's ok, Jason.”

Jason laughs wetly in relief. “Please take me home?” he rasps. 

“Course. Hold on. I got ya.”

“Thanks.”

“Ok, where do you want me to put you?”

“Bed.”

“Alright.” He zips into the bedroom and sets Jason down on top of his bed. 

“Mind letting Terry out?”

“Course.”

“Thanks.”

“Be right back.” He walks out of the room and Jason hears him talking softly to the dog and then the back door opens, then closes.

While Kon does that, Jason walks to the bathroom to pee and brush his teeth, then walks back to the bed, flopping onto his back right as the door opens and closes again.

Seconds later Terry comes bursting into the bedroom and running up the ramp. Jason sits up and laughs, hugging his dog as he licks his chin. “Hi buddy. I kinda had a rough night. But everything before then was awesome,” he says, smiling over at Kon who's leaning against the wall.

He smiles back. “Yeah. It was,” he agrees.

Terry eventually calms and then trots right back down the ramp and out the door, probably to grab a toy. “Ok, bye then,” he grumbles, laying back down. 

Kon snorts and walks over, flopping on his back beside Jason, who rolls onto his side to look at him.

“Thank you for understanding.”

Kon smiles softly. “And thank you for telling me. Still need to talk about it?”

“I… yeah. But first, I need you to know that I do not regret loving you for even a single second. I'm hurt that my friend is hurting, yes, but I'm not hurt because of you. None of my pain is on you, ok?”

“Ok,” he nods and squeezes Jason's hand. “Now go crazy.”

Jason chuckles for a moment before frowning and sighing. “I didn't want to break his heart.”

“Would be kinda evil if you had.”

“Ok, true. But I looked him in the eyes and said ‘I don't love you the way you want me to.’ H-he broke down sobbing in my arms. He looked devastated. He asked me to leave a-and right before I grappled away I j-just heard this loud, broken sob. I left the best friend that I thought I'd lost forever all alone and shattered. I would do anything to help him but I can't give him the only thing that would. I can't fix it. I j-just c-cant fix it. I can't help him,” Jason sobs. 

Kon opens his arms and Jason flops half on top of him, laying his head on his chest and sobbing. Strong arms wrap around him and Kon is murmuring something comforting that Jason can't make out but is still soothing anyway.

Jason cries himself to sleep in the arms of the man he loves, that loves him back.

Tim cries himself to sleep in his own arms because of the man he loves who will never love him back.

Chapter Text

Jason wakes up slowly, eyes peeling open. He usually wakes up like a flicked switch, but this morning he’s completely exhausted for some reason. He sits up and yawns, stretching his arms. 

He hears a little bit of commotion in his kitchen. It's Kon.

Oh.  

Jason smiles softly and his cheeks turn pink. He got to kiss Kon. Like a lot. Until-

Jason inhales sharply. Oh shit, Tim. God, no wonder he's worn out.

“Hey, go get Jay, Terry.” Kon murmurs from the kitchen. 

There's a single bark and then the sound of running paws across the floor as Terry bounds into Jason's room, up the ramp, and then up to Jason, giving his chin a lick - his trademark hello.

Jason loosely hugs his dog. “Morning, Terr’. I'm so glad I have you buddy. You always cheer me up.”

Another chin lick.

Jason laughs quietly. “Yes, hi. I'll be out in a couple minutes, go see Kon.”

Terry runs down the ramp and back to the kitchen, making Kon laugh and say something to him.

Jason gets dressed quickly and tries to ignore the thought of Tim. Until he sees his tired, red eyes in the mirror and sighs. He’s gotta tell his family and Janet. What began as a wonderful, incredible day ended terribly and with heartache. He brushes his teeth quickly then makes his way to the kitchen.

Kon is… baking brownies? Before ten in the morning?

Jason walks straight up to him and pulls him into a tight, immediately reciprocated hug. “Morning, Kon.”

“Hey,” Kon murmurs, “how are you feeling?”

Jason kisses his cheek before pulling back. “Still pretty awful. But I'll get over it.”

“I know. Just wish there was a way for you to do that without hurting more.”

Jason hops up to sit on the counter as Kon turns back to the mixing bowl, right beside him. “Yeah… why are you making brownies so early?”

Kon looks up at him and smiles. “Because they're your favorite.”

“Actually, they're not.”

Kon frowns. 

“You are.”

Kon laughs and blushes. “You’re such a dork.”

“You love me.”

“I do,” Kon nods. He finishes stirring the brownie mix and then pours it into a pan, sticks them in the oven, and gives them a quick zap with his eyes, instantly cooking them. He pulls them out of the oven and sets them on top of the stove.

“So handy,” Jason grins.

“Yeah, I have a very useful body.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

Kon gives the brownies the quickest little instance of frost breath to cool them enough to eat. He grabs a knife, cuts them up, lifts one out, puts it on a paper towel, and hands it to Jason.

“You're amazing.”

Kon shrugs. “I know.”

Jason takes a bite and literally whimpers at the taste. “You made Alfred’s brownies?”

“Like I said, your favorite.”

“God I could kiss you.”

“You can.”

“Mm, brownie first.” Jason finishes eating it with a happy smile on his face. When it's gone, he goes to wipe his mouth but Kon yanks the paper towel away.

“You should leave it.”

“Oh, really?” Jason smirks, throwing his arms over Kon’s shoulders and pulling him closer. Kon steps between his legs and wraps his arms around Jason's waist. Jason laughs quietly before leaning in and kissing Kon.

Kon hums happily, no doubt tasting the chocolate on Jason's mouth and kisses him harder. Jason lets himself enjoy it for a few moments before pulling back, lowering his arms, and letting his forehead thump onto Kon's shoulder.

“Thank you.”

“I got your back, no matter what,” Kon says softly, rubbing his back.

“I know. I think it's gonna be a rough month, but at least I have the greatest boyfriend in the world.”

“Um.”

Jason leans back with an embarrassed flush. “Shit, sorry, I'm sorry. That just kinda slipped out and I don't wanna presume and after last night I don't even know if you want-

Kon cuts him off with a kiss. “I want. Just surprised me. Wasn't really sure when to talk about it with everything that's going on. But I would love to be your boyfriend.”

“Cool,” Jason grins, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “I would too. Now can I have another brownie?”

Kon laughs and hands him another, back on the paper towel. “You may.”

Jason eats it happily, again, before slipping off the counter to box them up. He holds out the box to Kon. Kon thanks him and grabs two out. Jason puts the lid on and sets them aside while Kon eats.

“Damn, I did do good,” Kon mutters.

“Yeah, you absolutely did,” Jason smiles. He pulls out his phone and opens his messages to text his family.

Jason : Family meeting at computer in fifteen minutes.

Dad : 👍 

Dickie : Um, ok? You good?

Jason : I'm fine. I just… have an important update.

Jason : See ya soon.

He pockets his phone, and Kon is now cleaning up from his baking. Jason helps and they finish in less than thirty seconds.

“Telling the family today?”

“Yeah. Gotta watch the parade, too.”

“Do you want me around?”

“Only if you don't already have plans.”

“I don't.”

“Then yeah, I'd really appreciate it.”

“You got it.”

“Thanks, Kon.”

Kon kisses his forehead and Jason smiles. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Good to go?”

“Yep.” Kon picks Jason up, flies to the Zeta in the tower, sets Jason down, then disappears and returns with Terry, setting him down too.

Jason sighs tiredly as he keys in the destination and steps through.

Recognized: Cardinal, Superboy, Bitewing

They step into the Batcave, but they're still early. Terry runs off to play somewhere.

“Spar with me?”

“Mm, I do enjoy getting my hands on you.”

Jason laughs with a fond eyeroll and jogs over to the training mats, dropping into a ready position. Kon attacks.

They dance fluidly around each other, blocking and parrying. They're so deeply familiar with each other’s moves that they never actually land any hits. Even when Jason purposely doesn't block so that Kon will hit him, be surprised, and allow Jason to sweep his legs out from under him… Kon didn't. He knew. 

By the end they're laughing and not being even remotely serious about it. Eventually, Jason dramatically collapses, and is instantly being cradled in Kon's arms.

“Whoops,” Jason says, cheeky grin on his face.

“Wow. It's almost like that was planned,” Kon deadpans. And then he smirks.

“Oh no,” Jason mutters, already knowing what's coming.

“Oh yes.” When Kon launches Jason fifty feet into the air, he isn't even remotely worried. In fact he crosses his arms and pouts when he starts falling back down. Kon flies up and catches him after falling only a few feet.

“Rude.”

“You're just so throwable.”

Jason tries to hold the pout but he can't help but laugh and wrap his arms around Kon's neck. “You're a showoff.”

”Wh-” Kon sputters. “I'm the showoff?”

Jason knows exactly what he's referencing. “Ok, yes, I was showing off then, but you liked it.”

“What, you don't like being chucked skyward?”

“I mean, the novelty has kinda worn off. Flying with you, however, has absolutely not gotten old and probably never will.”

“Do you really want me to stop throwing you?”

“...no,” Jason admits.

“Yeah, 's what I thought.”

“Fine.” Jason leans in and kisses Kon, thirty feet above the floor of the cave.

A wolf whistle makes him pull back, and he and Kon both blush.

“Wasn't expecting a show, Little Wing!”

“Ugh, shut up Dick!”

Dick cackles as Kon lowers back to the floor and sets Jason on his feet.

“I take it the date went well?”

“It… yeah. Just, um, it's the after that sucked,” Jason says quietly, voice nearly breaking and tears springing to his eyes. Welp, there goes the happy mood he was feeling for the past ten minutes.

Kon rubs his back while Dick looks worried. “Are you alright?”

“I will be.” Jason looks past Dick and sees Bruce and Alfred walking down the steps. “Let's get this over with.”

Jason walks slowly over to the Batcomputer, Kon right at his side and Dick trailing just behind. When he reaches the computer, he logs in and pulls up Revenant’s file, then clicks ‘Merge.’

He stares at the blank next to ‘Name to Merge’ for several long seconds.

“You know who he is?” Dick asks.  

Jason looks back at his family. Dick looks excited to have a mystery solved. Bruce and Alfred merely look curious. Kon squeezes Jason's hand.

“It's gonna sound crazy, but I need you guys to trust me. Ok?”

“We always trust you, Jaylad.”

“Is it that bad?” Dick asks quietly.

Jason laughs humorlessly. “Worse.”

He turns back to the keyboard, quickly types in ‘Timothy Jackson Drake,’ and taps ‘Enter.’ A prompt pops up asking Jason to select either Deceased or Alive for the new, merged file. Jason clicks ‘Alive’ and steps back.

There's three gasps from behind him.

“Timmy's alive?” Dick looks thrilled.

“How?” Bruce looks concerned.

“Wait… oh god I'm going to hell,” Dick mutters.

“...what?”

“You showed me that video of Revenant and I called his moves hot. Oh god, I called a child hot.”

Jason can't help but laugh. “You didn't know. And they were really cool moves.”

“Wait - uh, again - this is a bad thing?”

Jason sighs and leans back against the computer desk. “He woke up in his coffin and clawed his way out.”

“Oh dear God,” Alfred says quietly.

“God, poor Tim.”

“Hn.”

“League found him, tossed him in a pit, trained him as an assassin, and tried to brainwash him against us.”

“Pfft. Like that would work.”

“Yeah,” Jason nods, “it didn't. Anyway, backing up. Something Kon said made me think about Tim and Revenant and it just clicked. Then I asked him to x-ray Tim's grave.”

“The coffin was broken from the inside, and there were scratch marks on it,” Kon adds quietly.

The others look ill. 

“So Kon brought me back here, I went to Tim and I’s rooftop. Revenant showed up, I followed him to his safehouse, he took off his helmet and mask, I asked him to prove it, he did with private information about me that only Tim knows. It was him. I cried. Like. A lot,” Jason smiles wryly.

Dick snorts.

“Anyway, turns out he spent his entire time with the League daydreaming about coming home to me and us falling in love and, like, riding off into the sunset or whatever. A-and I had to tell him that I didn't love him like that anymore. He proceeded to have an absolute heartbroken, sobbing meltdown and I couldn't fix it. And then the little asshole manipulated me into kissing him, thinking it would change my mind.”

“And it didn't,” Dick says knowingly.

Jason nods. “I love Kon. Not Tim. It was awful. He was literally sobbing into it, then he told me to leave. I gave him a panic button before leaving. And then I left behind my emotionally shattered resurrected life-saving best friend knowing that I was the reason for his pain and I couldn't give him the one thing that would fix it.” Jason is crying again, tears slipping from his eyes. “It was awful,” he repeats.

Dick walks up and hugs him. “I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that.”

“I'm not supposed to be upset about Tim coming back,” Jason sobs quietly, letting his forehead rest on Dick's shoulder. “I'm supposed to be happy.”

“Hey, you will be, ok? It's just gonna take time. He’ll get over it.”

“You didn't see his f-face, you didn't h-hear him. He was shattered.”

“You were shattered when Tim died, yeah? You thought you'd never be happy again, but you were, Jay. If Tim truly loves you, then he loves you as a friend, too. He's gonna be ok. Just take some breaths.” Dick counts Jason through some breaths until he finally stops crying.

Jason raises his head and steps back. “Thanks, Dickie.”

“Of course.” Dick glances to the side, where Alfred, Bruce, and Kon are quietly speaking on the other side of the cave. “And hey, I'm so happy for you about Kon. He's such a good guy and you deserve it.”

“Heh, yeah. I have a boyfriend now.”

“Try not to let the Tim stuff take away from the excitement of that. Take a break from Gotham for awhile. Just, dive into your school work and your Team stuff and have fun. You're so young, Jay. You're only nineteen, live a little. Let things settle down here for a bit, ok?”

Jason nods. “Good idea.”

“You don't mind if I look for him or talk to him, right?”

“Not at all. He needs a more neutral support system right now. He's… he's really going through it.”

“I'll keep that in mind. I'm proud of you.”

Jason scoffs. “For what?”

“For following your gut, for figuring this out, for searching for the answer even when the situation was incredibly stressful.”

“I… I guess that's not nothing.”

“No, it's not.”

“Love you, Dickie.”

“Love you too, Jay.”

Jason turns away, sits down in front of the computer, and starts typing up his report. At some point Kon walks over and then sits crisscross beside him… in the air.

Jason huffs in amusement and rests his head on Kon's shoulder, continuing to type. It's a little weird seeing the screen half sideways, but he makes it work. It's not long before he's finished and submits it. He lifts his head and stands, sighing. He leaves up Revenant's file for Bruce to read and walks back over to his family. “All done. I'm gonna head back to the tower with Kon and Terry. I'm pretty drained from the whole thing.”

“That's completely understandable,” Bruce smiles. “Thank you for telling us.”

“Course. Be back soon.”

“Ok.”

When they get back to the Tower and enter the living room, Jason is instantly being hugged.

“Hi Bart,” he chuckles, returning the hug. 

“I love the plushie it's adorable but also super cool like hello someone designed it after me! Me, so awesome, how was the date?”

Jason can barely follow the stream of words out of Bart’s mouth, but luckily he's had a lot of practice. “It was great, thanks. Yes, we're finally together.”

“Woohoo!” Bart zips over to hug Kon.

“Ugh, about time. You're totally the team dads, it just made sense,” Cassie teases from the doorway.

“Yeah yeah,” Jason grumbles. 

She walks into the room and hugs him. “I'm really happy for you.”

“Thank you,” Jason smiles. “Now everyone sit down, we got a celebratory death parade to watch.”

“Sweet!”

“Only in Gotham.”

“You’re not wrong.”

They all sit down on the curved sofa and Jason flicks on the TV, finding the channel. He mutes it, it's still about ten minutes away.

“So, did you ever figure out who did it?”

Jason sighs. “Tim Drake.”

“Um. How does someone that… uh, isn't alive, commit murder?”

“By spontaneously resurrecting, crawling out of their grave, being kidnapped by an assassin cult, and thrown into evil Mountain Dew,” Jason says dryly.

“Oh my god you're serious. He's alive? Did you talk to him?”

“Wish I hadn't,” Jason whispers.

Bart zips over to sit beside Jason, and Cassie moves to sit across from him on the coffee table - for moral support. He tells them everything, and miraculously doesn't cry, which is a nice change.

“Geez, um. Ok. That’s a lot.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Like a lot a lot.”

“Bart,” Jason chuckles, “come on.”

“Sorry. Made you laugh you though!”

“Yes you did. Thanks.”

“Hey, the parade’s starting.”

“Oh, goodie.” Jason unmutes it and enjoys the celebration of those pieces of shit in Gotham finally being put down for good, with his best friends. 

Jason manages to put Tim in the back of his mind for the next several days. He enjoys class, and time with Kon, and kicking ass with his team. He wonders if maybe this will all actually be easier than he expected.

Until Tim's emergency alert sounds one evening.

Chapter Text

Tim’s emergency alert suddenly sounds on Jason's phone, causing instant terror for Jason.

“Conner!” he screams, diving for his phone, silencing the alarm, and pulling up the map. Gotham Harbor, right down at the docks. Oh god, he's dying or already dead and Jason's gonna find his body and Janet doesn't even know yet and-

Hands smack onto the sides of his face. “Breathe.”

Jason takes a deep breath. “Tim's emergency alert. Gotham Harbor. Check my phone.” He tosses the phone to him and runs to his room, throwing on a nondescript black hoodie and a domino mask, and yanking on some sneakers.

“Ok, got it. Let's go.”

“Terry, stay. Good boy.”

Kon picks him up and they're at the docks in a matter of seconds. There’s several ninja laid out across the area, and Revenant in the center, seemingly unharmed but not moving.

Jason runs up to him and drops to his knees. “Kon.”

“He's not breathing, and-” Kon squints “-his heart is doing… weird shit.”

Jason forces himself into Cardinal mode instead of freaking out mode. “Could be v-fib.” He slips his arms under Revenant and stands. “We need to get to the cave.”

Kon gets them there in seconds. Jason quickly lays Revenant on the ground and starts chest compressions. “Kon, I need his helmet off.”

Kon quickly feels over the helmet. “Found it.” There's a click, then a hiss, and he pulls it off, as well as the mask. Tim's lips are tinged blue.

“Shit. Ok, when I switch to rescue breaths I need you to get his suit off down to his waist.”

“Got it.”

“Rip it if needed, then bring me a defibrillator. Ok, switching.” Jason moves up to Tim's head, pinches his nostrils, and covers his mouth with his own. He breaths into him, waits a few seconds to no response, and tries again. Still nothing.

He moves back to Tim's chest, where Kon already has it bare and is placing the AED pads on him. Once he presses down the second pad, he leans back and gestures for Jason to do the same.

“Thank you,” Jason says, pulling his mask off

Analyzing heart rhythm. Do not touch the patient.

“Of course.”

Shock advised. Charging. Stay clear of patient.

“Come on Timmy,” Jason murmurs, “you can do it.”

Deliver shock now.

Kon reaches over and presses the button. Tim's lifeless body spasms but there's otherwise no change.

Shock delivered. Begin CPR.

“Tim, please,” Jason rasps, throat tightening painfully as he begins compressions again. “I got you, c'mon, come back to me, I'm here this time.” 

After thirty, he growls in frustration before giving Tim two more rescue breaths.

“Jay, I got it,” Kon says, having taken over compressions while Jason gave the breaths. “Just focus on the breathing.”

Jason breaths into Tim while Kon keeps his heart pumping. 

“Babybird, please,” Jason begs, “Just come back.” Another breath. No change. Jason momentarily rests his forehead against Tim’s. “Please,” he whispers.

Jason continues the regularly spaced breaths, pleading with Tim the entire time.

Eventually the machine chirps to tell them that it's analyzing the heart rhythm again. They both move back from him.

Shock advised. Charging. Stay clear of patient.

“You got this, Tim, I know you got this.” 

Kon reaches over and squeezes Jason's hand. “He’s gonna come back.”

Deliver shock now.

Kon presses the button, Tim spasms but doesn't revive.

Shock delivered. Begin CPR.

Jason lets out a frustrated sob and starts crying as Kon begins compressions. He wipes his eyes as he waits the few seconds until it's time for a rescue breath.

He delivers the breath despite the tears. Still nothing.

“Come on , Tim, please, please please please, you don't get to fucking do this to me twice, don't you fucking dare!”

Three more breaths. Nothing. Jason is straight up sobbing at this point.

“You don't get to f-fucking die! You piece of shit, wake up! I j-just got you back, I c-can't lose you again!”

Another breath. Nothing.

“I love you, you fucking idiot! I've always loved you! I need you. I can't fail you again!”

Another breath. Nothing.

“WAKE UP! FUCK! TIM!”

Jason breathes into him like he has something to prove and gives it his all.

There's a small gasp and a jolt. “J…Jay?” Tim’s voice is breathy and confused and one of the most beautiful things Jason's ever heard. “You came?”

A relieved sob tumbles out of Jason's mouth as he yanks Tim up into a hug and kisses him on the lips. “Of course I fucking came you dumbass piece of shit!”

“Wha’s goi’ on? Oww, m’ chest.”

“You were dead, Tim! You were fucking dead, fucking again! What were you fucking thinking?!”

“Yer m’ hero.”

“I'm so mad at you,” Jason sobs.

“S’rry.”

“Stop fucking dying! My heart can't fucking take it!”

“Didn' mean t’.”

“I know. I'm calling Dr. Thompkins to get you checked out.”

“Wha’? No, 'm… fine. Thanks for… help. Gonna go now.”

“The hell you are!” Jason gently nudges Tim back to pull off the AED pads, and then shifts him into a cradle carry and rises to his feet. “You are staying here until the medical professional clears you. I don't care if you have a healing boost, your heart stopped!”

“But-”

“Please stay? For me?” Yes, Jason will absolutely manipulate him into compliance.

“…ok.”

“Thank you.” Jason gently lays him down on a hospital bed, then walks over to the nearby sink to wash his hands. Once they're cleaned and dried, he returns to Tim. “I'm gonna hook you up to this monitor, ok?”

“Mkay,” Tim sighs, closing his eyes.

“Tim, hey, try to stay awake. At least for a few minutes, ok?”

He opens his eyes with a groan. “Fine.”

Jason grabs the leads and attaches the electrode pads, then turns his attention to Tim’s extremely muscular torso that he hadn't noticed when he was freaking out. “Oh, wow. Looking uh, good, Tim.”

Tim smirks and flexes his abs, and Jason laughs quietly. “Now you're just showing off. Sorry if my hands are cold.” He gently places the five electrodes on Tim's body. “There.”

“Mm, they're warm.”

“I think maybe you're just cold. Gonna put on a pulse-ox and blood pressure cuff.”

“Too much…”

“This is far from ‘too much’ after you had to be fucking revived, so deal with it!” Jason snaps.

Tim's eyes widen. 

“I'm sorry,” Jason sighs. “It was really scary, ok? Just let me take care of you.”

“Ok,” Tim nods.

“Just gotta put this on your finger,” he says, gently lifting Tim's hand to place the device on his finger, then setting it back down. “And the pressure cuff on your arm.” He pulls it around Tim's upper arm and securely tightens it. “There you go.” Jason sighs. “You're gonna make me go gray, Timmers.”

Tim huffs and takes his hand. “Well you'd still be very handsome.”

Jason squeezes the hand. “Of course you'd say that. Anyway, knowing Kon, he's already contacted Leslie and the others, so they'll be here soon. I’m sorry to run already, but I gotta get back to the docks.”

“It's fine.”

“I'll be with Superboy. I'll get an alert if your vitals go wild and I'lI come back immediately. And don't you dare run away, or I will tell Dick that you died again, were revived in the cave, and ran away before the doc could look at you.”

“Oh god.”

“Exactly. Just sit tight, ok? I'll be back soon.” Jason kisses his forehead, then heads for the doorway.

“Jason?”

He turns back with a smile. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Tim. You can rest now.”

“K. Love you.”

“I love you too.” Jason leaves and heads for the Batcomputer, where Kon is sitting and typing up the report. “Thanks, Kon. For everything.”

“You’re welcome. Alfred should be down any second, Leslie is on her way, and I informed Nightwing and Batman through comms.”

“You're amazing, you know that?”

“Course I do,” he grins.

“I gotta go throw on my suit and get back to the docks.”

“Ok. I’ll go, too.”

Jason kisses his cheek. “Thank you.” He turns away and runs to get his suit, quickly pulling it on before running back to Kon.

“Hm, there's my favorite bird,” Kon grins.

“Yeah yeah.”

Kon grabs him up and flies back to the docks. There’s less ninja than before, but some still haven't moved.

“Are they dead?”

“Um, yeah. Broken necks.”

“Mm.” Cardinal grapples to a nearby roof where a security camera is. He plugs into it with his wrist computer and hacks through the complete joke of a security protocol. He copies the files over and then unplugs. “Easy peasy.”

“Should we just leave them?”

“I'm gonna take some DNA samples first.” Cardinal grapples back down and walks over to the first body, crouching down. He pulls out a test tube, plucks a hair from their head with tweezers, and places it in the test tube, capping it. He returns the tube to his belt, and pulls out an empty one, moving to the next body. It doesn't even take an entire minute to collect the four hairs.

“I love watching you being a detective.”

“That was hardly being a detective.”

“Then maybe I just love watching you. In, like, a not creepy way.”

Cardinal laughs. “I love watching you too. Ok, all done here.”

Superboy flies Cardinal to the cave and sets him down. Cardinal walks quickly over to the lab and transfers the hairs to the DNA machine to test each one. He's not expecting any results considering they're League of Assassins members, but who knows.

He goes from there to the Batcomputer to download the files, taking off his helmet and mask in the few seconds it takes to transfer. Jason opens them, fast forwarding to when Revenant appears at the docks.

Revenant is alone, and appears to be investigating some of the abandoned shipping crates. He's looking through his fifth crate when he suddenly freezes, and then back handsprings away from it, dropping into a defensive position. Five ninja drop down around him and he looks insulted, even with the helmet hiding his face.

“There were way more than five when we first got there,” Kon says.

“Yeah,” Jason agrees.

He quickly takes down the five, and then fifteen show up.

“Oh shit.”

Revenant reaches behind himself and pulls a bō staff from his belt, flicking it open and lunging. He's a goddamn prodigy. Jason is amazed at how quickly he takes people down. But an additional ten show up and Revenant gets slightly frantic. He starts taking hits more frequently and harder, until he's forced down to the ground. He reaches behind himself and there's a quick flicker of light. The panic button. Then Revenant surges to his feet with frankly terrifying ferocity, quickly breaking four necks and knocking out several more ninja until there's only three left.

One of them gets a lucky kick right to the center of Revenant's chest. The vigilante just barely starts to countermove before he drops.

The three ninja look at each other in confusion before one crouches down to feel Revenant’s wrist. They shake their head and stand back up, and the three ninja quickly flee the scene. A few more limp away, and then Jason and Kon show up. Jason stops the video.

“What kind of hit makes someone drop dead?”

“Hey, remember that football player a couple months ago?”

“Oh. Commotio cordis. It fits the video. God, that must have been one hell of a kick.”

“Yeah.”

“Who's down here?”

“Um…” Kon tilts his head. “Leslie and Alfred.”

“Good.” Jason heads for the infirmary with Kon at his side. Tim is asleep, Alfred is fussing with an IV bag, and Dr. Thompkins appears to be reading some test results on the computer.

“Jason.”

“Doctor Thompkins. What have you found?”

“He seems relatively alright considering he was in cardiac arrest for several minutes. You guys saved his life. His troponin levels were elevated, as expected. I'm not totally sure what caused the arrest, but he needs to take it easy for a few days. I'll probably prescribe him a beta blocker so his heart doesn't have to work as hard while it heals. He should make a full recovery, but a chest MRI will give us the fullest picture. Additionally, his sternum and ribs appear to not be damaged from the CPR, which will be extremely helpful for his recovery.”

“He's ok,” Jason sighs in relief.

“Yes.”

“Kon and I figured it out. We think, anyway. We found security footage. He was struck in the chest and collapsed almost immediately afterward. So we think it was commotio cordis.”

Dr. Thompkins nods. “It fits the scenario. When he wakes I'll get his permission for an MRI but for right now, rest will be the greatest benefit for him. You did well. Take a break.”

“Thanks, doc.”

“You're welcome.”

“Gonna go change again real quick,” Jason tells Kon. 

He's back a couple minutes later in his earlier clothes. 

“Nap upstairs?” Kon suggests.

Jason nods. “Y-yeah. Kinda need it.” He slips his hand into Kon’s and they walk upstairs together. When they reach his room, Jason flops down on his back with an exhausted groan. Kon flops down beside him.

“Go to sleep, Jay. I'll wake you when he does.”

Jason leans to the side and kisses Kon's cheek. “Thank you for saving him.”

“You’re welcome.” Kon kisses his cheek in return. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Jason begins to drift off.

“Even if it's not me,” Kon whispers.

Jason doesn't know what that means as he succumbs to sleep.

Kon slips away with a frustrated sigh and wipes his eyes. Jason kissed Tim, and he's pretty sure Jason doesn't even realize. It was instinct to kiss him. And Kon can't even be mad about it cause Tim had just come back from dying, again, but he wonders if maybe Jason chose the wrong guy. 

Kon wants to be selfish, but they've only been together a little over a week. Jason loved Tim first. It would be better to end it now than to worsen the inevitable heartbreak. Except Jason was telling the truth when he told Kon he loved him. Does Jason love both of them?

A cold nose nudging against his face is what wakes Jason up. “Hi bud,” he chuckles, opening his eyes to Terry staring him down. Terry licks his chin. “Love you too. Did Kon bring you here to see me?” He lifts his hand to pet him. “Oh, you're my good boy, aren't you?”

“I told him to wake you. Tim's awake,” Kon says. Jason looks over and he's leaning against the door frame with a soft smile.

“Thanks. Gonna go see him.” Jason stands from the bed with a yawn and a stretch, sauntering over to Kon. “You ok?” He seems unusually stressed.

“Yeah, just a lot on my mind.”

“Anything you wanna talk about?”

“Maybe later. Go check on Tim. I'm gonna head out for a bit.”

“Ok…” Jason hugs him and Kon hugs back. “I love you.”

Kon smiles. “I love you too.”

Jason pecks him on the lips. “See ya later, then.”

“Bye.” Kon disappears.

Jason frowns and looks down at Terry. “He seemed a little off, right? Eh, maybe I'm just tired. Kinda been a busy day. Let's go, bud.”

Jason tells him to stay when they're outside the infirmary, before stepping back into the area. Aaaaand Dick is crying and hugging Tim, who spots Jason over Dick's shoulder and mouths ‘help.’

“Dickie, you're gonna hurt him. He's sore.”

Dick loosens his hug but definitely doesn't let go. “I missed you so much kiddo.”

“I missed you too. I'm stuck here for a little while, so, you can let go for a few minutes?”

“Alright, Timmy,” Dick sighs, releasing him. “But you're not getting rid of me for long.”

“Wouldn't dream of it.”

Dick walks over to Jason and hugs him too. “Are you alright?” he whispers.

“I will be. It's just… a lot.”

“You know where to find me if you need to talk.”

“I do. Thanks.”

“Course. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Dick leaves and Jason walks up to Tim's bed.

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired, sore. Doctor’s looking over MRI results. I'll be fine though.”

“Good. That's good.”

“I didn't wanna die again,” Tim rasps, tears springing to his eyes.

Jason takes his hand and squeezes lightly. “I won't let you. In fact, you're banned from dying, got it?”

Tim grins. “‘Well I wouldn't wanna upset you.’”

Jason laughs quietly, remembering the moment in Tim's kitchen. “‘Upset would be putting it mildly.’”

Tim's eyes are sparkling - from mirth instead of tears, which is a much nicer sight.

“Hey, so, there's someone I want you to meet…”

Tim scowls. “I really don't wanna meet him.”

“It's not him.”

“Oh. Then, um. Sure?”

Jason whistles, and Terry comes trotting into the room and up to the bed.

Tim eyes go wide and excited and a smile stretches across his face. “They're beautiful!”

“This is my goodest most handsomest boy, Terry,” Jason coos, patting his head.

“You got a dog! Is he, is uh, did you get him cause of me?”

“Actually, I happened across him on my first night out as Cardinal. I had to keep him. He was teeny tiny and orphaned and hello, your favorite breed? How could I not?”

Jason pats the bed and Terry lays his head on it, looking up at Tim and wagging.

Tim laughs and pets him. “Hi Terry. Oh, what a good boy you are, yes you are. Just the sweetest thing.”

“He's my best friend. I tell him everything in the world, completely judgment free. He's always there for me.”

“And the name?”

Jason blushes brightly. “Can I just not?”

“Um, after this reaction? No, now I have to know,” Tim laughs.

“The star Antares is the heart of the Azure Dragon. That's where I got ‘Terry.’”

“And I have blue eyes and Drake means dragon?” Tim asks softly.

“Heh, yeah,” Jason nods. “It's dumb.”

“It's not dumb, it's… actually really touching.”

“I uh, considered using Antares as my new persona. It's also the heart of the scorpion, and your birthday is the first date for Scorpio.”

“You were gonna be my heart?” Tim whispers, voice shaky.

“Thought about it, but settled on Cardinal.”

“I really like that one.”

“Me too. Look, I need to tell you something.”

“You're wrong and are actually madly in love with me?”

Jason frowns. “N-no, sorry.”

Tim nods with a sad smile and continues petting Terry. “A boy can dream.”

“Conner helped save your life. You wouldn't be here if it had been just me.”

“...oh. Um. Tell him thanks, then. There's just one thing I'm confused about…”

“Shoot.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Jason sighs in frustration. “Tim, for god's sake, it was mouth-to-mouth.”

Tim rolls his eyes. “I know that. But after. You kissed me.”

A feeling like ice water washes over Jason.. “What? Tim, why would you say that?”

“Check the fucking video,” Tim snaps, eyes flickering green. “You kissed me and I don't under stand.”

“Terry, stay here.” Jason turns and walks quickly out of the medbay and over to the Batcomputer, quicking pulling up the security footage from the CPR and fast forwarding to the end. 

“J-jay? You came?”

A relieved sob tumbled out of Jason's mouth as he yanked Tim up into a hug and kissed him on the lips. “Of course I fucking came you dumbass piece of shit!”

Kon’s eyes widened, before he just looked resigned. He squinted at Tim's chest, presumably to check his heart, and then stood and walked out of the room.

Jason claps a hand over his mouth and tears fill his eyes. He cheated on Kon, right in front of his face, and didn't even realize it. And Kon just accepted it, didn't even mention it. It explains his behavior when he woke Jason up.

Jason closes out the footage and hurries back to Tim. “Tim, I-”

“Don't. It's whatever. I get it. You only kiss me when I die,” Tim mumbles, eyes watering.

“...were you testing a freaking hypothesis?!”

“What? Jason, no, I was legitimately overwhelmed. I told you I didn't want to die again. Kissing you isn't worth that. Especially when you don't even want it.”

“I, I… you were dead and I freaked out and then you weren't and I was just so happy you were alive so I guess I… I'm sorry for confusing you. I shouldn't’ve done that. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry.”

“You never mean to,” Tim mutters.

“I'm sorry, Tim.”

“I know,” Tim sniffles. 

“I gotta- do you want me to text Dickie? I'll be back in a bit.”

“Sure,” Tim nods.

“Ok.” Jason pulls out his phone and fires off a quick text. Then he crouches down to pet Terry. “You stay here with Tim, ok?” He stands back up. “I'm glad you're still here.”

“Yeah.”

Jason gives his shoulder a quick squeeze before leaving, rushing to the zeta and beaming over to the Tower. 

He hurries towards Kon’s room where he hears a bunch of noise. He looks inside and Kon has a big stack of books and papers on his right side, a much smaller stack on his left, and in front of him is his laptop, which he's ocassionally typing notes onto. He's currently in the middle of a book, which he adds to the right pile after finishing a few quick seconds later, then grabs a new book from the left. Jason squints to read the titles.

More than Two

Many Love

What the hell is he reading? Romance novels? That doesn't explain the printouts though.

The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy

What in the…?

“Conner?”

He slaps the second book closed and looks at the door. “Jason. Um. Hey.”

“Uh, research project?”

“Something like that. What's wrong?”

Jason steps into the room slowly. “I didn't realize- I didn't mean to- Tim asked- I didn't have an answer- I didn't even-”

In a blur, Kon moves the right pile to his desk, leaving an open spot for Jason on the bed. “Come here.”

Jason hurries over to sit down beside him and Kon pulls him into a hug. “I’m sorry,” Jason says, voice breaking.

“I forgive you. It was a really stressful moment. He was dead. Again.”

“I cheated on you.”

“It wasn't planned or malicious. We're ok. I'll finish this in a few minutes and then we can talk further. I love you.”

“I love you too. Oh, uh, Tim told me to thank you for saving him.”

“He's welcome.”

In a few minutes, Kon is done and moves everything else to his desk, including his laptop, then dashes out of the room for a second, placing another printed document on his desk, then moves back to Jason.

“What is all this?”

“I have a proposition. I've been doing a lot of reading and considering, and well, I just want you to think about it for a bit, but what if I… shared you with Tim.”

Jason starts crying. He's not completely sure why.

“Woah, hey,” Kon hugs him again. “It's ok.”

“I would honestly rather you break up with me than tell me to cheat on you. That's not- I would n-never do that on purpose!”

“It's not cheating when all parties involved are in agreement.”

“But I w-want you.”

“You have me, but can you honestly say that you don't want Tim, too?”

“I don't know!”

“That's what I think you need to really sit with for a while.”

“Why did he have to c-come back?” Jason sobs. “Everything was going fine! I had healed and I had you and the others and my family and I was happy. B-but now he's back and I can't remember the last time I've cried this much in one week!”

“I don't think anyone knows what you're supposed to do when your first love that sacrificed his life for you shows up alive, and dies again, and has to be revived.” In a blink Kon grabs the document from his desk and hands it to Jason. “I've been reading through all the books and sites I could find about polyamory and I took notes on the important parts for you, so look this over at some point. I am by no means saying you have to do this, or that you even have to… to stay with me. You can change your mind and just have Tim. But I want you to be the happiest you that you can be. Considering how weird this all is, maybe a nontraditional relationship is worth looking into.”

“Wouldn't you be jealous?”

“With ground rules I think I’d be ok.”

“B-but you don't love Tim?”

“There's different kinds. This would be a V, not a triangle. You're the center.”

“So you'd both be dating me, just not each other?”

“Exactly.”

Jason picks up the document, and it's not exactly small. There's at least ten pages, front and back. It was a lot of work. “Kon, you… you did all this for me?”

“Of course I did. Look, I just want you to be happy. Whether that's with one of us, both of us, or neither of us.”

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

Jason sets it aside. “Can I kiss you?”

Kon answers by doing exactly that and Jason lets himself forget his worries for a bit and just have fun kissing him.

“God I needed that,” Jason chuckles.

“Glad I could deliver,” Kon grins.

Jason reaches over to grab the document and starts reading it. 

Jason flops onto his back with a groan a couple hours later. “Geez that was a lot. Thanks, though.”

“Initial thoughts?”

“I'm leaning towards being in favor but I'm gonna have to think it over for a few days.”

“Yeah, take your time. It's a lot to think about. Any idea what Tim’s reaction would be?”

“I really don't know. I feel like he'd be crazy jealous but maybe he'll surprise me? If I decide to try it we’ll talk to him about it together.”

“Hopefully he doesn't hurt me,” Kon mutters.

Jason snorts. “He won't. You know, I think y'all could actually become really good friends.”

“Well you've certainly talked him up for years.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jason laughs, “sorry.”

“Nah, it was sweet. Whatever happens, I'm glad he's back in your life.”

“I mean I know what I said a couple hours ago but I am too. It's just such a huge adjustment, of everything.”

“Oh, absolutely. It's ok to be thrown off. I might be more concerned if you weren't, actually.”

“Ok, fair point. Anyway… I should check on Tim again. I'll come back for this paper and might need a lift back home?”

“I'll be here.”

“Ok.” Jason kisses him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Jason slips away and zetas back to the cave, hurrying back to the infirmary, where Tim is sitting up awake and Terry is sleeping in a dog bed in the corner.

“Jay?”

“Hey. Where’s Dick?”

“He stayed for about an hour before leaving. Are you and Kon, are y-you ok? I don't wanna mess up your relationship, I j-just wanted to know why.”

“Kon and I are just fine, don't worry.”

“Good, that's good.”

“I'm sorry I confused you, I'm not handling this well.” Jason sits on the edge of Tim's bed. “But I couldn't be happier to have you back.”

Tim sits up and hugs him. “I'm glad to have you back, too. I missed you.”

Jason squeezes him tightly. “God, me too. I have so much to catch you up on, and there's stuff up in your room that you need to see and I want to show you the studio and my little house in Palo Alto and-”

“Ok! One thing at a time,” Tim laughs.

“And… you need to see your mom.”

“I know, I just…”

“I'll go with you whenever you're ready.”

“Thanks, Jay.”

“How long are you here?”

“Couple hours, then I'm free. But Leslie said no Revenant for a week.”

“Has Bruce been by?”

“If he did, I was asleep. I don't really want to see him…”

“Because of the killing?”

Tim nods. “I'm surprised you still want anything to do with me.”

“I told you I'm not upset about those.”

“But what about the assassins?”

“You were desperate,” Jason shrugs. “Look, you were kidnapped at fourteen and forcibly trained by assassins. Dad’s actually pretty forgiving. Give him a chance?”

“I really don't wanna go to Blackgate or Arkham.”

“You're a minor, you won't. And I'll beat him up if he arrests you.”

“But he's Batman.”

“He's getting kinda old,” Jason stage-whispers.

“Is he even forty?”

“...well almost. I won't let anything happen to you, ok?”

“Ok. Can you take me next door when I'm freed from here?”

“Of course. But for now, I gotta get some reading done for class. Mind if I sit with you?”

“Not at all.” Tim scoots over, making room for Jason to sit up against him, and rests his head on Jason's shoulder. 

Jason can't help but press a kiss against the top of his head. 

“What are you reading?”

Jason pulls out his phone and opens a document on it. “Syntactical Differences-”

“Nevermind, keep it to yourself.”

They both laugh, and Jason takes Tim's hand. Yeah, he's pretty sure he knows his answer…

One Week Later:

“Hey, heard you're cleared. How was your week?”

“Jason, hey. It was good. Spent a lot of time with mom. It was sorely needed.”

Jason walks up and gives Tim a hug. “I bet. I'm proud of you, I know that was scary.”

“Mhm. So, you seem antsy.”

“Well,” Jason laughs nervously, “I am. We wanted to talk to you.”

“We?”

“Yeah, hi,” Kon says from the doorway.

“Oh. Superboy. Um, hi.”

Kon walks into the room and sits in the chair beside Jason.

“What's uh, going on?”

“So I was wondering,” Jason starts, “if you'd be interested in, um…”

“A timeshare opportunity.”

Jason laughs. “Kon! No.”

Tim's brow furrows. “A… timeshare?”

“Yes, with this unique opportunity you too can-”

“Seriously?” Jason mutters.

“-reap all the benefits of dating a superheroic hunk in a part-time environment.”

“Why are you like this?” Jason laughs again.

“If this is a fucking joke, it isn't funny.”

“He's saying it terribly but we’re serious. I… would you be ok, uh, sharing me with Kon.”

“Oh, my favorite two-timing bastard,” Kon smiles.

“Jesus, Kon!”

“You know what, clearly you two fucking deserve each other,” Tim spits, angrily hopping off the bed and storming away.

“Goddammit Kon,” Jason sighs, moving to follow after him.

“No, I… I got this. I screwed up, let me fix it.”

“...ok.” 

Kon hurries out of the room, and Jason follows just behind so he can watch and intervene if necessary.

“Tim, wait!”

Tim whirls around with a snarl, eyes bright green, shaking with anger. “What?!”

“Hey, I really messed up-”

“How fucking dare you! He loves you! Y-You have the one fucking thing I've always wanted and you treat him like shit! What, you just, you think it's fucking hilarious to joke about him loving someone that he doesn't want?! And what am I, huh, just your fucking punching bag? Yeah, let's make fun of the hero that died and allowed you to love him!”

“Ok, come here, you need a hug.” 

Jason facepalms. 

“DOES IT SOUND LIKE I NEED A FUCKING HUG, CONNER?!”

Kon hugs him. “I mean… yeah.” Interesting tactic.

“Just go away!” He tries to break Kon's hold but can't, obviously. The solid green of his eyes has lessened to just an occasional flicker. Is the hug working?

“Tim, I was not making fun of you. I know I said it stupidly but I'm being serious. Jason and I talked about this. He's still dating me, but, if you're ok with not being exclusive, he wants to give it a shot with you, too.”

“Stop,” Tim whines, “I don’t- I can't have hope, I can't.”

“It's not hope, it's reality.”

“But-”

Jason starts walking over to them. “Tim, this is real.”

Tim looks over, eyes back to their regular beautiful blue. “But you said…”

“I was wrong,” Jason shrugs. 

“Who's idea?”

“Kon's.”

Tim finally hugs Kon back and starts crying. “Why would you suggest that?”

“Because I love him and want him happy, even if it’s in a way I hadn’t exactly envisioned. What do you say? It’s ok if you need time to think about it.”

Tim steps back and turns to face both of them. “I want this.”

“Me too, Babybird,” Jason murmurs.

“How does this even work?”

“Kon’s the expert. But the three of us need to sit down and discuss it.”

“Ground rules,” Tim nods, “makes sense.”

“If you have things you need to go do right now, that’s ok.”

“Now is fine.” 

“My room at the Tower?”

“Sure.”

“Hasn’t changed much,” Tim observes as he walks into Jason’s room. “Terry!” He kneels so he can pet him as he comes trotting up to him excitedly, tail wagging rapidly. “Hi cutie! How ya been?”

Arf!

“Good! I’m good too, doctor said I’m all free! We can play later, does that sound fun?”

Jason snorts and smiles at the two of them.

“Yeah, I think I’m starting to get it,” Kon mutters.

“Lazarus pit gave me enhanced hearing.”

Kon blushes. “Oops.”

Jason snickers and walks over to his bed, sitting in the middle, back against the headboard. Kon sits facing him, a bit to the left. Tim finishes greeting Terry and then joins them on the bed.

“I’ll start?” Kon offers.

Tim nods at him.

“These are just the things I’ve thought of, if you disagree please be honest with me.”

“I can do that.”

“Well, I guess the first one is more aimed at you, Jay. If you have plans with one of us, don’t ditch us for the other. Unless it’s an emergency, obviously.”

“Seconded,” Tim adds.

“Done,” Jason agrees. “What about telling one of you about what I did with the other? I wouldn’t share private conversations.”

“Personally,” Tim starts, “I’m fine hearing about basic activities. Like if you go to a movie or the mall or chill at home or whatever. But I don’t wanna hear about your, uh, physical activities.”

“Yeah I agree on those,” Kon says.

“Texting the other while he’s with us?”

“I don’t mind unless it starts actually detracting from our time together.”

“That’s fair.”

“Ok the timeshare thing was a joke, but should we make a group calendar to schedule dates and whatever without stepping on the other’s toes?”

“No that’s actually a good idea,” Jason says.

“What if we want to surprise him with a visit?”

“We can text each other to make sure we don’t happen to have the same idea at the same time, but that seems unlikely anyway. Um, you don’t eavesdrop, right?”

“If I’m specifically called for I’ll hear it, but no, I won’t listen in when you’re together.”

“Good, I can shit talk you.”

“Tim!”

Kon laughs. “I know he’s kidding, Jason.”

“So… what if I wanna hang out with both of you?” Jason asks.

“I don’t think I have an answer for that right now,” Tim admits.

“That’s ok. Probably be weird anyway.”

“Yeah I'd have to think about that too, I don't know.”

“No problem.”

“I… don't have anything else right now. ‘m sure I'll think of something else later.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Ok, great. Pretty painless,” Jason says. “I'll make a group chat for us in case any of us have any new thoughts.”

“And Tim, I know we don't really know each other, but I'm here for you, too, ok? If you need to talk or vent or if you wanna go all out sparring, whatever, I'll be there.”

“Oh, uh, thank you,” Tim says, cheeks pink.

“You're welcome. Anyway, I'm gonna go for now.” Kon hugs Tim, and then he hugs Jason and pecks his cheek. “Bye.”

“Bye Kon.”

He disappears.

“Did this actually just happen?” Tim asks.

“Yep.”

Tim lunges forward and hugs Jason tightly, which he immediately returns.

“Hi Timbit.”

“I'm so happy.” Tim is definitely crying now.

“Me too. In fact, I even have an idea for our first date…”

“Oh my god I've wanted to go on a date with you since I was eleven.”

“Well great, now I'm worried about it not living up to your expectations.”

“It will, it's you, I know it will, when are we doing this?”

“When do you want to?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I can do that. 630? Don't wear anything fancy.”

“Holy crap I'm going on a date with Jason fracking Todd.”

Jason laughs. “And I'm going on a date with Tim fracking Drake.” He kisses Tim's cheek and sighs happily.

Tim giggles and kisses his cheek back. “This is gonna be amazing, wait I gotta go! I gotta prepare and make sure everything's perfect and-”

“You're already perfect for me.”

“Perfecter! I'll see you tomorrow, I'm so excited and I love you so much and, yeah ok bye!”

“I love you too, Tim,” Jason laughs, “bye Babybird.”

Tim runs out of the room laughing gleefully. “Hell yeah!”

Jason grins. Yeah, he wants this.