Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I’ve been dreaming again of the lonesome world

Where I’m lost and I’ve got no friends

Just the rocks and the trees and the lonesome dreams

And a road that’ll never end

Lonesome Dreams- Lord Huron

Louise thinks she was seven when she asked her mom about the mark on her left hand. It was a small, lime green half-circle outline. Her father had the same mark on his right hand. Louise was fascinated with her parents’ mark, it fit together perfectly and young Louise was content with her mark showing up to show her who she was destined to be with.

When Louise was nine, she had her first crush. 

Rudolph Stieblitz.

The stupid asthmatic kid had wormed his way into her heart and Louise proceeded to hold on to that crush.

At 11 Louise found out that most people’s soulmarks showed when they were born. She came home crying that she didn’t have hers. It wasn’t much longer after this that the rest of her grade found out about her “mutation”, everyone in her grade either laughed at her or ran away in fear or disgust when they found out. The only ones in her grade who didn’t were the Pesto twins, and Regular Sized Rudy.

Louise was 12 when Tina’s soulmark appeared.. It was a saffire blue arrow on her right shoulder blade. Tina cried because she never thought her mark would show up. Blame the hopeless romantic in her.

At 13 Louise lost her crush and friendship with Regular sized Rudy when he showed her his mark, a simple crown shaped mark on the top of his foot. It wasn’t that he showed her his mark, it was that he got with Chloe Barbash when their marks didn’t match.

15 was the year Gene received their soulmark, they insisted that they hadn’t met their soulmate yet. But louise saw the way they looked at Lenny Destefano

Looking back, Louise always had this idea that you had to be with your soulmate. But as she grew she realized that looking at all of the people who were married and in loving relationships, their marks rarely matched.

 All the media in their world romanticized the finding of your soulmate and this idea that your soulmate had to be your spouse or lover or whatever. Her stomach dropped, she hadn’t been even remotely fair to Rudy. Now he was gone. She could try reaching out, but why answer the girl that cut you off.

The fetal position didn’t help the stomach ache she had from that.

At 16 Louise was informed that the chances of people finding their soulmate was one in a million. She was told that her parents' case was extraordinarily rare. She didn’t feel as bad knowing most people didn’t find their soulmate.

17 is when she started to get nervous. Her siblings had gotten their soulmarks but Louise was still stuck on the clean slate that was her non-existent soulmark. 

She fell sick out of nowhere, after starting community college. Her parents said that she was having night terrors like when she was little. The night she woke to every inch of her skin feeling like it was on fire. Her parents took her to the hospital much to her protest. She sat in her hospital bed fuming with anger. When all the tests were over, the doctors informed Louise her soulmark wasn’t there. Louise laughed and told them the ‘No Dur!’ asked them why that was important to the matter at hand. They told her that due the fact  that she would NEVER get her soulmark, Her body couldn’t find or make a soulmark.

Louse cried herself to sleep that night. And not just because of the pain.

Since that day Louise decided that emotions were overrated (so were soulmates, but she wasn’t going to say that out loud).

Her 21st birthday rolled around and she blew out the candles, opened the presents, and ate the cake. The entire time she was just painfully reminded that another entire year had passed and she didn’t get her mark nor would she ever. 

But still, she held onto that sliver of hope as tightly as she could.

That same day she set that sliver on fire. 

She couldn’t get hurt if she didn’t have anything left to burn.

Right?

Chapter Text

I don't know when I got scared

Scared of my imagination

Used to see

beautiful things

Now I got this sick fixation

I'm playing out every single fear

I've ever had

Cynical-Katelyn Tarver

“Well Louise, your check up is looking really good so far! The blood tests, DNA sequencing and skin swabs will be processed in a few days, you should know how to find the results! Here’s the note for your pharmacist. Are there any other questions Ms. Belcher?”

“No. I’m good doc, thank you.”

Louise watched the doctor leave the room, his white coat swished behind him while his shoes clacked on the hard linoleum floor.

The girl sighed and flopped back on the examining table. The crinkle of the thin stiff paper and the uncomfortable squeak of the pleather really solidified the fact that she was at the hospital. She’d insisted that she could go to her appointment by herself (her mom and sister were not as convinced and insisted on at least trying to be in the waiting room). It had been a few years since she’d been diagnosed with Markless Skin Syndrome, but seeing as she was one of four people in the entire written history of the world to have MSS and the doctors had tried to use her as a guinea pig, she wasn’t really a huge fan of hospitals or the medical industry in general  

When her soulmark didn’t show up at 17 she was already worried, but her condition proved that she had good reason to be.

Louise rubbed her eyes and face, all of this was starting to make her head hurt too much. Starting to pull her pants and shirt back on gave her a small bit of joy, she could shed the uncomfortable paper hospital gown. 

The doctor came back into the room as she was finishing up tying her shoes.

“So I ran your meds to your normal pharmacy. Everything is in order but there is a new lab technician, are you okay with him knowing?” the doctor looked up from his laptop.

“I’d really prefer he’d not know. What happened to Jill?”

“Maternity leave.”

“She had her baby! SHUT UP! That's great! How’s she doing? What's the baby’s name? Wh-”

“Belcher.”

“Heh.”

“It was a baby girl whom she named Ellie.”

There was an extraordinary long inhale from Louise, the doctor rolled his eyes with a smile. Louise had cultivated good relationships with the doctors and staff at the hospital, seeing as she was there every other week and they had control of the speed and efficiency of which her tests were completed. 

“Okay, I’ll tell Liz that she’ll be your temporary pharmacist. Looking at the papers here looks like you have to come back for another checkup before I can give you more meds. These should last you a month, if your episodes get really bad don’t hesitate to come in. Okay?”

“Of course!” Louise said, glancing up at the clock. “Absolutely Dr. Banes!”

“Louise, don’t just tell me. Look me in the eyes and say it. I know you love to wait until the last minute to come to me. Just know you’re not a burden.”

“Thank you for actually caring about me as a person and not a little science experience for you to poke and prod.”

“Ms. Belcher, I have no idea what the past doctors have done for their so-called ‘treatments’ but I strictly believe that a human should be treated as such. Here.”

The doctor scribbled the familiar illegible handwriting and gave her her prescription slip.

Louise felt lighter, almost free. Today seemed to be going really well, she hadn’t had any pain in a few weeks and she’s been doing well. Her baggy canvas pants swished as she walked down the hallway to the elevator. The smell of industrial cleaners and that particular elevator smell really comforted her, ever since she’d started seeing Dr. Banes she’d been doing a thousand times better. Her whole family all said that she was more mischievous than usual. It made her sad, but she’d really cut back on her pranking, jokes, and general deviousness since her MSS related Fibromyalgia and migraines were diagnosed. She just didn’t have the energy or motivation to do anything.

The elevator dinged and she walked out to the lobby, the pharmacy she used was across the street from the hospital so it was rather convenient. On the way there she passed the candy section, only to be stopped by the very clearly reproduced sticky sugar booms.

“Dope! They must have brought them back!”

She picked up the overly crinkly bag of candy, Spratt’s had taken them off the market after several kids had ended up in the hospital due to the sugar content and dyes. She was surprised they bought them back, and more so that they were selling them at a hospital.

Just cut out the middle man, no ambulance, just pop one in the check out and wait!

Louise snickered a bit, she cracked herself up. 

After about 15 minutes she was called up to the counter for her meds, the doctors had her on a whole concoction of meds ranging from antidepressants, muscle relaxers, and even anti seizure meds (those were mostly for pain though as well as her other painkillers). The Pharmacist always had to check the several med types and insure that the meds were all in place as well as the right dosage. 

Her spot in the line finally made it to the front counter.

The new pharmacist was ridiculously tall, he was working the back. There was something vaguely familiar about him. But everything about him screamed basic white man. He looked like he was taking stock of something when he noticed that Louise was standing awkwardly at the counter.

“Hiya! What can I do for you?”

“I’m here to pick up a script for Louise Belcher. But I think Liz was supposed to handle it so if you could call her up, that would be great!”

“No Shit! Louise Belcher.”

“Um, yeah. Just a quick call will do. You know you don't even have to- I can just- LIZ IT’S LOUISE I-”

“Woah shortstack! You still got that set of lungs on ya!”

“Should I know you? Cause you’re just being creepy right now. LIZ!!”

“You really don’t remember me? I’m hurt.”

“Bitch you’re just being annoying, also several people have called me short stack so you’re not exactly the first OR most original. I’m just gonna leave and come back later. Bye.”

Louise quickly sped away from the pharmacy counter, whatever gross weirdo was working in Jill’s place needed to stay clear of her cause he would not end up in a good place. 

She unlocked her car and got in, it was a really weird day. 

Her normal pharmacist was gone, the new one was being weird and Liz would NOT come to the counter. Louise had to get a goddamn bell to ring for people, especially her family. Her dad had taken the air horn after her last cold, saying something about her needing to learn boundaries (Louise had a small set of cymbals she’d gotten from Rudy a few years prior, she was waiting for a good time to use them).

Louise put her car in park in the front of the restaurant, the trunk was full of the new plates and assorted dining wear that her father had gotten for the restaurant.

The pleasant sound of the little bell on the door greeted her when she entered the restaurant. 

“How was your appointment?” Tina asked right away, one track mind.

“Wow, getting right to the chase, okay. Dr. Banes said that I’m doing really well but I still need to pick up my meds. Not ‘cause he forgot to fill it, but there was this creepy new pharmacist there.”

“Oh yeah! Tammy was talking about this guy a few grades ahead of us who started working there.”

“Now that you mention it, he did seem like he was your age.” Louise said as she cracked open the bag of Sticky Sugar Booms she’d grabbed before the fiasco.

“Yeah, I didn’t really pay attention cause I was talking with Susmita about her new job. But you could ask Tammy more about that.”

“No offense but I would rather eat Jimmy Pesto’s Oregano Burger than do that.”

There was a disembodied “HA” from the kitchen, Bob was clearly amused.

“Well if he’s giving you that much trouble I’d suggest looking into it.”

“He wasn’t bothering me, he was just being weird. Whatever, it’s not a huge deal. I’ll just go back when he’s not there.”

─── ⊹⊱✧⊰⊹ ───

It was a few days later when Louise felt her migraine come one and she knew she needed to go get her meds. Fortunately she got Gene to get her meds for her.

“Liz is ALWAYS a blast. I love her! Here’s your No-Hurty pills, Liz said to take them with water and nothing else. Oh! And you need to eat before you take them.”

“No prob, I had a plate of Tina’s half cooked scrambled eggs she made for me.”

“HEY!” Rang out from the other room.

“IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAN’T COOK!” Louise yelled back.

The silence that came after was very telling.

Louise poured some plain green tea into a glass and took her meds, everyday with this shit was exhausting. When her head didn’t hurt, some other part of her body did. 

Thankfully though, after she started seeing Dr. Banes. Her condition improved a lot. Dr. Banes was one of the only doctors that actually listened to her rather than just telling her it was “psychosomatic” or “just a little anxiety or stress”. One of the biggest things that helped more recently was sleep. After that study talking about how women needed more sleep than men, Dr. Banes was convinced that Louise needed more sleep than the average female her age. So as much as she hated the missed productivity, she was sleeping more than ten hours a day. Since then though, she’d had less severe bouts of pain and they would last a lot less longer.

Louise turned the corner to the stairs and hurried to the restaurant, her meds kicked in and she was ready to work. She filled her water bottle and entered the kitchen.

On days when she had migraines Bob would let her work, within reason. Most of the time that meant she was working the grill and fryers.

“Louise, we have two burgers of the day and one Cheese burger w/ fries for delivery. Remember to wrap them!”

“Thanks mom!”

Louise loved working the back, she could listen to music or watch whatever series she was inning at the moment. Learning the different techniques to execute the burger of the day. Like when they had the Awful Waffle burger (made with Leeks, chives and feta), Louise was experimenting with the waffle mixtures. Because if the waffle wasn’t done enough the crunch wasn’t there and that was really what they wanted to go for. The elasticity of the Waffle too, she wanted the waffle to be denser than she was getting so she made several mixtures for it. Some with more flour, others with more milk and eggs.

“ORDER UP LOUISE!” Her mom yelled, Breaking her out of her trance 

“Sorry Mom!” Louise managed while flipping the burger, hoping that she could make the other side of the burger just as charred. She grumbled and pressed the spatula down on the patty eliciting a loud sizzle and a small whistle-pop.

The rest of the day was pretty chill, there were no angry or entitled women that were yearning to yell at something other than their family. The highlight of the day was when Marshmallow brought her baby niece in. Marshmallow insisted on her niece's first burger ever in the world to be from Bob’s Burgers because she quotes “this was the best meat I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

Bob almost melted into a puddle on the floor that Linda would’ve had to mop up.

Louise loved the part where Marshmallow let her hold the baby, Louise almost cried. The baby curled her head into Louise's collarbone and started sucking on her hand.

Louise hadn’t been around kids in a while, especially babies. She loved kids, it was one of those things that didn’t make sense to her general vibe and she kind of loved it. When people looked at Louise Belcher they thought “oh, grunge kid. Tomboy, doesn’t want kids” which wasn’t wrong, Louise didn’t want kids. But she did LOVE kids.

When she was in the hospital recovering from her first Fibromyalgia encounter, she was still in the juvenile part of the hospital due to her being 17. Whenever groups of kids would pass her room they’d always wave and greet her. At first Louise hated it because she didn’t want these sick/injured kids seeing this older kid bedridden. 

Older kids were supposed to seem invulnerable to anything. When you’re in 2nd grade and you see a high schooler do a kickflip on a ramp and fall over, they get back up. They brush themselves off and keep going because that’s what you were taught to do.

That’s why it broke Louise to be seen in this state, to be seen by these kids and know that they now know that people aren’t invincible.

But, as she stayed and recovered; Louise realized that theses kids didn’t see that part of things. They only saw the cool older kid with her several ear piercings and crazy PJ pants. 

Louise was a goddess to these kids. They loved her and laughed with her and would share their lives with her. When their friends came to visit they would drag them over to this random room and they would say “look at my friend, she’s like twice our age and she’s my friend.” 

The other children also loved her because she talked to them like they where her equals. A five year old would say something incomprehensible and then she’d respond with ‘yeah, taxes are a pain in the ass’ and they’d laugh and tell her that’s a bad word and that taxes were imaginary(Louise WISHED they were imaginary).

This experience carried over to the real world, when kids came into the restaurant she’d give them the check as a joke or give them some parchment paper from the back that they could draw on.

Louise loved it.

The burger child left the restaurant after cleaning up and locked the door, smiling at the thought. She climbed the stairs to her house and went to her room. She touched her old bunny ears as she always did when entering her room and plopped down onto her bed. 

“Whoa, Shortstack!”

Louise knit her brows, not really wondering why she thought of that so randomly. 

That was a really weird day.

She’d been back to the pharmacy once since then but the creepy pharmacist wasn’t there. She turned over and grabbed her ears off of her headboard. 

The threadbare yarn wasn’t soft anymore and it was barely pink, she smiled. She’d loved those ears good, even Logan couldn’t-

WAIT!

Louise internally screamed, THAT’S why he was familiar.

That creepy fucking Pharmacist was Logan Fucking Bush.

A long anguished scream sounded from the youngest Belcher’s room.

Chapter Text

A question isn’t answered

If an answer isn’t questioned

An answer has a meaning

When a new meaning has a truth

Past life brings the future

A Question Isn’t answered - Temples

Logan looked down at his pittie puppy, the little ball of energy was chasing the sock that had gotten stuck on her tail. The fierce yapping and chirping of a puppy getting increasingly irritated echoed through his apartment.

After he’d graduated Logan decided that he was going to do what he wanted to do since he was a kid, and that was buying a puppy.

The universe must have smiled down on him; because the dog next door had gotten out and come back. A few months later a litter of nine puppies were tearing up the block.

Logan passed the daily walk that Gloria (dog’s owner and Logan’s favorite neighbor) would take the tiny dogs on when one peeled off to try and follow him. Gloria was surprised. Saying that “Little Bee has never acted like that towards anyone! You must be special!”

He smiled for the first time in a while.

So now he had a little three month old tornado tearing up his house. Logan couldn’t care less though (it was an absolutely precious tornado).

On top of this positive improvement, Logan had been seeing a therapist for about a year now and he was really proud of his improvements. His therapist Arlo, insisted upon being called by his first name, which kinda weirded Logan out. The dude had a doctorate in developmental psychology, so excuse him if he felt it was odd to call this very accomplished man just ‘Arlo’.

What really surprised Logan though, was his anxiety diagnosis. He’d always seen himself as hot shit. He was cocky and carefree and he really didn’t care a lot. Arlo however, told him that– Yes although you do have some qualities that oppose your anxiety, anxiety comes in many different forms. One of those being masking– basically, he acted cocky and immature as a coping/masking mechanism. 

His doctor started describing the symptoms of anxiety, and Logan slowly realized that he retaliated REALLY hard with them. Arlo followed up by saying that the ADHD testing he’d gotten Logan to do a few months ago was in. It said tha Logan had mild to moderate ADHD, and that it was the hyperactive type. So many of Logan’s school and childhood struggles made so much more since now.

Logan wanted to write SO many ‘I told you so!’ Letters.

As a concoction & critical care pharmacist, Logan knew very well how different anti anxiety and antidepressants interacted so closely with his chosen field. A lot of chronic and critical condition patients were on antidepressants and the like, but Logan never realized the extent of all of this. And how much it impacted so many individuals daily.

All of this led to Logan staring at his little pit bull puppy while trying to remember if he fed her this morning or not (it was noon on a Saturday so he wasn’t gone all day), he felt bad that he couldn’t remember. He had to remind himself that it wasn’t the end of the world, he just forgot to check the feeding counter this morning cause he needed to get groceries while he actually remembered that he needed groceries. 

He sighed and filled up Bee’s bowl, it was going to be a long day and he was already halfway through it.

Settling into a routine was the hardest part for Logan. He was always worried he’d forgotten something or if he left the stove on but only the gas so that his entire house was filling with toxic gas and if he triggered any heat at all his house could be blown sky high and Bee would be burned in the fire or killed IF she wasn’t already dead from the gas-

Deep breath. C’mon.

When he told Arlo about that one, Arlo suggested some anti anxiety meds.

Logan had been doing a lot better and Bee did nothing but help. His meds helped a lot but some of his stress didn’t go away, Bee would sit with him and help him wind down and feel better.

He started his new job the following Monday, he knew that pharmaceuticals helped a lot of people. But it wasn’t until after he’d been diagnosed that he noticed how important his job was. He wasn’t trying to toot his own horn (although it WAS a nice side effect), really, he wasn’t. Divvying meds, mixing the right concentrations, and working with doctors to help figure out the right concoctions for people.

Part of him felt bad for all of these people that were in such desperate need for their meds, but he was helping them. He was doing what others couldn’t.

─⋅⋅•⋅●⋅•⋅⋅─

After the first few weeks of working at the hospital and their connected pharmacy, Logan had gotten really good at getting his shit done. He’d get to work, settle in and record the previous and day of meds. Moved on to say hi to the pediatric ward while he was giving the other doctors the med slips. Then he’d go to the critical care ward, his normal place of work, there were a few of the usual patients there and a few new ones. He came back to this office to only a single file sitting in his inbox.

It was really bizarre, mostly because he normally had more files than this by this time. Also of course that it was a lavender color.

Logan frowned, he was really debating what he should be doing with this file. In fact he almost threw it away thinking it was a prank. But Dr. Banes came into his office for their 12:30 meeting and almost screamed at him.

“Open it.”

“What?”

“Open, Dr. Bush.”

“Okay???”

Logan looked at the folder, he opened it to see one of the most puzzling things he’d ever laid his eyes on (and he’d taken organic chemistry). The name was redacted which made a lot more sense as he read it. This woman had Markless Skin Syndrome. He was shocked, he’d heard some of his friends in Pre-Med talk about it. It was only seen three times before and it was only theoretical due to how exceedingly astronomically small the chance was of some having this.

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly.”

Logan swallowed nervously. “But what do you want me to do with this? I'm not an allergist or dermatologist.”

“Yes, but you are a critical care pharmacist. You deal with pain and extreme conditions. I know you’re new and fresh out of Pharma school, but I think that if you work with me and some of her other doctors, we could find a more permanent solution. Maybe even a cure.”

Logan was slack jawed, he was 28 and literally just out of his residency and was now being asked to hold the general well being of this random woman in his hands. Not to mention coming up with a completely experimental concoction of meds for someone with a condition that nobody in modern medicine had ever treated before.

You could say he was sweating a bit.

“I feel like there are 50 other people you could ask that could definitely do this better than a twenty something with anxiety issues and Adventure Time scrubs.”

Dr. Banes laughed, “Of course there are better candidates, but they’ve been doing this stuff for years and stick to a few of the same concoctions. I know that your younger mind and fresh look on things could absolutely serve a better view of things. Things that maybe my colleagues and I wouldn’t think of!”

Logan tried to wrap his head around things (the better doctors part kinda hurt but whatevs)

Later that day he was getting ready to take over for Liz, she was taking her lunch break late and he had no problem with giving people their meds and telling side effects or answering “any other questions?”. Liz told him that she had prepared some meds and she just needed Logan to pack them up and give them to the woman. Liz had told him this particular woman was a bi of a handful sometimes but she’s really great and super understanding. It had been quiet for a while until he heard the buzz from the second counter.

Logan had just finished putting a prescription into the pneumatic tube for the drive through. He went to go do his job, when he remembered that he hadn’t packed up the meds yet.

Liz is gonna go OFF on my ass, gotta go fast! Heh, Sonic-

He quickly grabbed the tub she'd put the meds in for him, he slid the plastic bottles into the bag and grabbed the script directions and personal information and stapled the thin paper bag shut. He rushed to the front to be greeted by a young woman standing there, she was pretty. Like gorgeous, her hair was jet black and curly with small locks that framed her face. She had little freckles across her nose. Logan watched her pick at her bag's handle nervously. The thing that stood out to him though was the pale pink bunny ears she wore, the ears were oversized and drooped down her shoulders. 

The only other person who does that- nah it can’t be.

He shook his head, it’d been years since he’d thought of her. This random woman was NOT Louise Belcher.

“Hiya! What can I do for you?”

“I’m here to pick up a script for Louise Belcher. But I think Liz was supposed to handle it so if you could call her up, that would be great!”

Holy Fuck. he was right.(there was a place in the back of his brain yelling She’s still short! HA! )

“No Shit! Louise Belcher.”

“Um, yeah. Just a quick call will do. You know you don't even have to- I can just- LIZ IT’S LOUISE I-”

Logan snuffed out his laughter, she was just as loud as when they were kids.

“Woah shortstack! You still got that set of lungs on ya!”

“Should I know you? Cause you’re just being creepy right now. LIZ!!”

Creepy?

“You really don’t remember me? I’m hurt.” Logan mustered with a sarcastic sad voice.

“Bitch you’re just being annoying, also several people have called me short stack so you’re not exactly the first OR most original. I’m just gonna leave and come back later. Bye.”

“WA-”

Logan slumped onto the spin-y stool in the back.

Okay, So . . . That could have gone better. 

He shook his head, chalking it up to the fact he hadn’t seen Louise in years .

The last time he’d heard about her through the grapevine, she’d been rushed to the hospital because of a medical complication. He remembered being worried about her. 

The incident  also  came about the time Logan had started to come to terms with his delinquent teen years. He could admit he was the asshole and had absolutely no reason whatsoever to take her Ears from her. In fact he applauded her for standing up to an assholeish kid (and the fact it was him), she could have just ran away and told her parents and have gotten her hat back. But instead she rained her entire vengeful, livid, wrath on Logan(he also knew that if her parents knew they would have stopped her in her tracks with her idea to go to the One Eyed Snakes). He knew she had grown up at this point and probably wasn’t scared. Still though, he felt a sense of obligation to help. He decided against it, he didn’t want Louise to have an aneurysm on top of whatever medical problem she had.

Seeing Louise Belcher in the wild after almost 10 years was sobering to Logan, it kinda just hit him. He was an adult. A person who pays taxes and bought toothpaste. Blech.

He leaned back on the counter and glanced at the clock. It was the night shift's turn. The disgruntled blond gathered his belongings and left the pharmacy. 

The drive home was too quiet, but turning on the music would feel like he was trying to drown out the day's events. That of which, he didn’t want to do cause there were like fifty thousand things happening today, all of them being utterly overwhelming. What can you do though? The disgruntled man started bumping his head repeatedly on his steering wheel. He couldn't tell if seeing Louise or getting his new patient was the more  startling turn of events of the day. Both of these weird events were not on that year's bingo card. He knew that he couldn’t ignore Louise or their childhood interactions but on the other hand there was absolutely no way that Logan was going to turn down that new ‘patient’ (he still didn’t know why her name was redacted). Especially if this was a true development, all of the magic that existed in their world would be thrown into question.

In their world every person possessed magic in their being, that was what caused soulmarks in the first place. And sometimes, on rare occasions, the red string of fate. There’d been several instances in which magic has compromised people’s well being and health. These circumstances often led to a public outcry and several thousand scientists from across the board asking for them to participate in clinical trials, psych evals, sleep experiments, and lord knows what else. 

Thinking about it made Logan understand his new patient a little more, She did have literally THE rarest condition in existence. He realized that she probably didn’t want the entirety of the fucking planet trying to stick their noses in her business that none of them had any entitlement to.

He felt for the woman, he really did. He’d had one of those rare conditions, one that he didn't like talking about. One were people would be overly interested in and would ask entirely inappropriate questions about.

The clink of his keys in the bowl by his door alerted Bee that he was home, the noise was louder than the door so she was probably snoozing. Her little paws hit the ground making a tic tic tic noise on the wood floors. When she saw him her entire body was wiggling in excitement, her tail going a million miles a minute.

“Hi sweet girl!!” 

Logan knelt down to greet her, effectively making her more excited.

The rest of the night was calm, he’d taken her on a walk, made dinner, fed Bee, ate dinner, watched tv with Bee, took a shower, watched more TV, then retired to bed.

As Logan lay in bed, with Bee sleeping curled up by his stomach. His thoughts drifted to Louise. She had grown a lot, and she was really out of place for him. No one else from his younger years had shown up yet. Granted, He knew it was bound to happen. Seymour’s Bay was a relatively small town and he also worked at the only major hospital in the area.

But the fact that it was Louise freakin’ Belcher seemed a little too random. 

Logan swallowed, he wasn’t going to look in the mirror or anything close to it. If he had what he think he did, he didn’t want to deal with it until the morning. His skin was buzzing and felt too tight around his bones and muscles. There was a small jangle and Bee’s little head rested on Logan's collarbone.

Dammit.

He was too tired to think about this right now.

Chapter Text

Days fade into a watercolor blur

Memories swim and haunt you

But look into the lake, simmering like smoke

Rises the moon

Rises the moon-Liana Flores

Louise squoze the trigger of her nerf gun, a foam bullet shot out and right at the bald spot on Bob's head.

“Lou.”

That was the warning tone.

She shot again.

“Louise! You're not funny.”

He was getting irritated.

The spring noise of the shooting mechanism sounded out, leaving Bob with just enough time to get out of the way.

“HA!” he pointed at her.

Ignorance.

The toy gun shot again and nailed her dad right in the face.

“OW! LIN!”

“Louise, stop irritatin’ ya dad. Ya gonna make his ‘stache fall out again!”

“Lin.”

“I heard something about pops losing his beautiful Moostache. Is he experiencing genital discomfort again?” Gene asked.

A few of the customers looked up and then at Bob.

 “GENE. OK. Everyone OUT. NOW!”

“Bobby, dontcha think yoa being too harsh?”

Those were the events that led Louise and her siblings to be sitting on their stained couch watching High School Musical . Louise literally wanted a bullet shaped hole in her head more than she’d ever wanted it in her life. 

“If we’re watching early 2000’s shit set in high school can we at least watch Bring It On ? Missy is hot, and the main character has integrity. Or better yet, Ten Things I Hate About You , Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger, don’t get me started on the kid who gets the sister.”

“Ten Things I Hate About You was made in ‘99 you uncultured swine.” Gene all but tutted.

“Sue me.” she slumped over the side of the couch.

Looking at Troy Bolton upside down was better than right side up. 

Louise made a Lousy excuse of a migraine and sped to her room. She flopped into her bed and sighed, rubbing her face. She was so tired of all of the BS surrounding her at the moment. Plus, her siblings taste in movies (Musicals were never Louise’s favorite, no she didn’t want to sit through you singing about everything you’re doing on stage she could see what you were doing). She groaned, letting the tension out of her neck and shoulders, her head slumped over to the side. Her eyes landed on the prescription bottles. She exhaled, Louise was really thankful that Gene had picked up her meds. 

It was funny, Louise had totally forgotten that Logan existed. There was absolutely no recognition of the blond when she saw his face. She wasn’t completely sure how she managed to forget him/bury the memory of him so easily. 

Her younger self was kicking and screaming in anger and fury ‘how could you forget that overgrown rat?!’

Whoops?

Louise rubbed her face in frustration, she wasn’t really in the mood to think about any of this right now. But when she got to thinking about things, she really couldn’t stop. It had seriously been years since Louise had thought about Logan, the only thing that she would have possibly thought about relating to him would be the ‘Ears Incident’.

Linda had made her a new hat before she started high school. Instead of a bright, hot pink hat, Louise had chosen a pale pink yarn. While Linda knitted the main part of the hat, Louise took some of her old clothes and cut little ears, lining, and fun accents that she sewed onto the hat. By the time they were done. Louise was in love with her hat. The old ears were special, but these were special because she and her mom had made this together. If Logan ever took this hat, he would regret it. 

Evening came around that night and Louise was still holed up in her room. She didn’t know how or why she stayed in her room for so long just thinking about things. But she wondered if maybe she just needed it. Her mom came to bring her dinner and then left her alone. Everyone in the Belcher household knew that you needed to leave Louise alone whenever she got like this and Louise silently thanked them.

In the morning, instead of going to the restaurant or her job at the coffee shop, Louise decided to go to the pier. She sat down under the semi rotten wooden planks that held up the entire wharf. There were small beams of sunlight that filtered through, occasionally phasing out of sight when a passerby walked over it. 

When Louise and her family had been down here last, it was in a giant carousel that crashed into the ocean. Louise never really forgave Tina for saving Mr. Goiter. Although watching Tina try and pass the key a few weeks later was very funny.

Louise took out her watercolors, basic pencils and started to sketch. The little shells, slimy seaweed and rocks that washed up on the soft sand beneath the pier started to show on the paper.

 Louise knew that nobody else ever came down here and that was one of the reasons why she came. Her family knew where she would go, and that it meant she wanted time to herself.  but most of the time it meant that she was angry, when she was angry her family didn’t really like messing with Louise. Honestly, no one liked messing with Louise. Period.

 Especially when she was angry.

The raven haired girl Took a deep breath, sticky, and humid with all of the summer's evaporation of the ocean. One of the things that she hated the most, especially when it came to textures of her skin, was humidity. 

Humidity always irritated her skin more than she liked to admit. She told Dr. Banes because she knew that was for treatment. But other than that, she didn’t disclose that information. She didn’t  really disclose information about her ‘defect’. Because a lot of the time when she did, she was met with pity. Louise didn’t want pity.

Louise realized that she was done sketching out her basic shapes. Looking down at the nice sketch for a few moments made her feel like she wasn’t really into landscape painting at the moment.

She flipped the page and started with the rough outline of what she’d seen.

 When she saw Logan again after years, she could admit he was attractive. It was one of those things though, where she knew who he was and she couldn’t get behind what his personality was like. 

She slowly outlined the facial structures, making sure to get in his jawline, high cheekbones, and stupid glasses. Those things made him look like a librarian, she snickered to herself. 

He had clearly tried to tame his wild hair with something, but  failed as a few loose strands stuck up in all directions. He kinda looked like he had been electrocuted, then again, he was dumb enough to stick a fork in an outlet. 

When she was done, she didn’t like how much she was thinking about the blond and immediately regretted it.

 She really wanted to tear that page out of her watercolor book. To throw it in the bay and sigh in relief that she’d never have to see it again. 

Unexpectedly though, She cringed at the thought. This was one of the best portraits she’d ever made.  

She wasn’t about to throw that away. 

Louise decided she wouldn’t paint the entire thing but maybe she could do hair and skin. She mixed individual colors for skin and hair. 

Logan was a good few shades lighter than herself but not as quite yellow-toned as her, she thought to herself as she mixed more red into the pigment.

It was a wonder with the shade of blonde his hair was, how he still looked decent. She still thought his blond hair was a cringy, almost yellow color. It was one thing when Louise had seen some bad bleach jobs, especially from Gretchen. It was another thing when his hair was NATURALLY that color. 

When she was done, she only put down the brush. Louise really didn’t want to look. She caved.

 But it was pretty damn close to what he looked like. That however created discomfort and irritation. 

Why did you have to be so photogenic and easy to paint?   She groaned to herself.

Louise gathered all her things to put back into her bag and set it farther up on the rocks, away from the ties. 

She then turned over to lay down on the towel. Louise laid on the rock, just looking at the wooden slats keeping the pier stable. The boards above her told all, she could hear the thump of feet whether they were little tiny feet going and running to the arcade or if they were an older couple trying to get to the Ferris wheel. 

You could tell a lot about a person by the way that their foot fell most of the time or gender, depending on whether men tend to stomp and women have a more careful, thought out pattern.

The hypnotic way the waves crashed on the shore, and the subtle rumble of the Scream-i-cane every time it came around on its track lulled Louise into a light nap

─── ⊹⊱✧⊰⊹ ───

A loud scream woke Louise. She shot up feeling a little disoriented, before taking in her surroundings. She was under the pier, she was fine. Louise let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. None of her things were stolen, nor were they disturbed. She got up and off the towel, starting to beat the sand off it so it wouldn’t get her stuff all sandy. 

Her phone buzzed as she finished up, her feet hit the sand as she checked it.

T  3ԅ(⎚-⎚):

Where are you?!

Mom and dad are freaking out!!

They think you died!

Gene’s distracting them rn, get your ass home!

Louise, if you don’t come back right now, I will read all of Kuchi Kopi and make erotic fan fiction about it.

Srsly Lou!

Now Gene is worried! You know they don’t get worked up for nothing!

I think our entire family has a search party out for you. I know you, you probably just fell asleep somewhere.

Louise the Bestest Belcher:

I actually did fall asleep somewhere! <3

T  3ԅ(⎚-⎚):

LOUISE!

YOU CAN”T DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT!

Sorry I had the caps lock on. 

Louise, you know that our parents are always worried about you.

Heck I know I am, but I know you have a reason for the madness.

Louise the Bestest Belcher:

Ily Tina. 

I just fell asleep after I finished drawing. It was nothing.

Louise closed her phone and walked up and onto the Wharf, taking time to find Mickey and say hi. Ignoring the near constant buzzing of her phone, she crossed the street to get to Bay Avenue.

The summer was always a busy time for Seymour’s Bay, it was one of those small vacation towns that you’d go to with your family. There were a lot of air bnb’s, vrbos, and other little inns, so there were a decent amount of tourists in the area at the moment. Which meant tourism picked up along with the weddings. Seymour’s Bay had some nice scenic overlooks and that resulted in several weddings being held in the area. Bob’s had catered a few of them but so far there have been no requests or inquiries about catering. Louise sighed and opened the door to the restaurant.

“MY BABY!” Linda all but screamed as she ran over to Louise.

The younger woman groaned as Linda wrapped her arms around her and told her how worried she was about her and that she wasn’t sure she was ever coming home. Louise had enough after the first minute and pushed Linda off of her.

“MOM! I’m fine! I’m clearly here in one piece, it’s not like I died!”

Her mother’s lower lip started to quiver, “YOU COULD HAVE DIED? YOU COULD HAVE DIED!” that resulted in yet another crying fit.

Louise managed to wrestle her way out of her mom’s grasp and into the back.

Bob flipped a burger, letting it fall to the grill with a sizzle and a wet sounding plat noise. 

“Good, you’re back. You’re on the fryer.”

That was all he said before going back to the grill, Tina made eye contact from over by the dressing station. 

Louise sighed and started to wash and chop up new potatoes for fries. The timer went off and Louise threw the chopped tubers into a bowl and added a generous amount of salt. 

Out of everyone at the restaurant, Teddy maintained that Louise made the best fries. Saying that she always added the right amount of crispness and salt. 

However, crispness and salt wouldn’t save her from her mother’s continuous smothering for the next few days. Bob was a little more unpredictable. Some days he would all but ignore Louise, only responding to her with grunts and ‘Uh huh’s: other he wouldn’t let her leave the kitchen or the house without him or a sibling around.

Louise could say she didn’t understand her parents’ worry, but that’d be a lie. She definitely understood.

Being diagnosed with an: 

a) incurable condition

b) chronic pain

&

c) literally the rarest medical condition on the planet AND the planets ENTIRE HISTORY

No, Louise could definitely say she understood. Maybe not in the way that her parents understood, seeing as Louise didn’t have kids and wasn’t sure she wanted to know what would happen if she had a kid with her condition.

NO.

NOPE.

This was hitting a little too close to home.

So yes, Louise did understand why her parents were so scared/overprotective. But she was still her own person and it was really suffocating to have her parents constantly watching her and waiting for her to trip so they could come running to her aid.

MSS was also the reason a lot of her relationships didn’t last very long. Louise didn’t share her condition with any of her past relationships, except for Jessica (but they were friends before and after they dated). Louise did however share that she had Fibromyalgia, she didn’t need her dates rushing her to the hospital without her parents or siblings as a buffer. That resulted in a lot of her past relationships doting on her and being overly cautious about everything they did (again, except for Jessica but she already knew Louise could handle herself.) which was sweet in the beginning, Louise guessed. Whatever.

“LOUISE!” the screechy shout of her father’s voice sounded out and pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked down to see the oil turning a gross dark color. She shouted as she pulled the fries out of the oil.

“Dammit Louise! We’ll have to change the oil again.”

“Sorry dad.”

“Don’t be sorry Louise, you clearly have a lot on your mind. I shouldn’t have put you on fry duty. Go out front and help your mom with soft serve.”

GOD! If she was any less aware of things she’d be in the goddamn rabbit hole.

“I’m just in such a fucking weird place right now Jess! Like how am I supposed to react to my archnemesis being my fucking pharmacist!” Louise said while punctuating her sentence with a frustrated bite into a tater tot.

“Louise, It’s perfectly normal to feel weird about this. But you also have to remember that both you and Logan have changed.”

“I mean I guess. But I really don’t think Logan is part of the evolutionary chain that can change. Not saying he’s not trying, but I have some opinions about him.”

“Lord, do I know it.” Jessica whispered under her breath. Louise thankfully didn’t catch it. 

“I’m just in a funk right now, It’s been a few MONTHS. I just- I just don’t know what’s happening and my past few years have been a whole ass shitstorm. Like I’m 21 and I am no closer to learning the best way to treat this shitty condition. What am I doing?!”

“Lou;” Jessica rested her hand on Louise’s forearm in a makeshift comforting motion. “It’s all going to be okay. I promise. I know I have NOTHING adjacent to what you have, but I know that you’re resilient and unstoppable. Just hang in there okay? Plus I need a plus one for Rudy's wedding! I figure we could be each other’s plus one’s.”

Louise froze. It’s been years since she’d heard or even thought about her former best friend. She knew for a fact that she wasn’t invited to his wedding or allowed anywhere near the venue.

“Don’t you think Rudy’s getting married a little young?” Louise prodded to try and get away from the obvious discomfort of having to talk about Regular Sized Rudy.

“I mean I guess, but it’s his life and if he’d found someone he thinks he can spend his life with then I’d tell him to go for it.”

“That’s true. I suppose that even though you and I are the same age we aren’t in the same place.”

“PFF! That is an understatement. My girlfriend’s been living with me for a year and a half now. Hell we adopted a cant AND a dog. You’re still living with your parents and haven’t told them they coddle you!”

“HEY!” Louise snapped playfully with a weak accusatory finger at the ginger. “When you get what I have then you can try to comprehend ‘what is Louise’s life?’”

“Fair enough.”

Louise had driven Jessica home, Jessica was only buzzed but Louise never really liked alcohol, plus alcohol did NOT mix well with the concoction of antidepressants and pain meds she was on at the moment. Louise didn’t drive to the bar they went to so she was walking home. 

Summer nights in Seymour’s Bay were nice and cool so Louise was content with just walking around to get home, plus it was early. 

Louise sat down at another bar and ordered a black currant NA cocktail an waited for her drink.

Louise wasn’t exactly sure how she should be feeling. 

All of her friends were going somewhere with their lives.

She had to be honest with herself though, none of her friends had the same situation she did. She could do anything she wanted to really! But her parents were still nervous to see their baby girl grow up.

She sighed.

“Tough day?”

“I suppose.”

Louise looked up to see the bartender talking to her, sliding her drink over to her.

“Thanks.” she took the drink and sipped it, only to open her mouth to let the sip of siad drink bak into the cup. “That has A LOT of vodka. I don’t think this is my drink.”

“CRAP! I’m so sorry!” the bartender washed the cup out an made two drinks, handing the alcoholic one to a different bar patron. “Here you go, Miss.”

Louise took a sip and nodded. “Thank you for remaking my drink. I’ve had a few bartenders try to get me to just drink the alcohol in the past.”

“Wow. they sound horrible.”

“They kinda were. I didn’t tip them.” Louise laughed.

The bartender laughed along with her. “You’re funny.”

“I get that a lot.” she offered her hand “Louise.”

“I know.”

“What?”

“I know you’re Louise.”

“Okay creep.”

“No! No, I just meant I knew who you were cause I’d remember the ears anywhere. I’m Scotty, one of Logan’s friends.”

“Oh good, now I know I’m leaving.”

“Fair enough. I’ll cover your drink.”

“Thanks-” Louise paused looking the older man up and down, he looked trustworthy enough. Plus he didn’t technically do anything towards her or her ears. “Why’re you being so nice?”

“I figured just because Logan shat the bed doesn’t mean I should miss the chance to make a new friend. You seem pretty chill, well, as long as I don’t cross you in any way.”

Louise cackled a bit. “You got that one right. I guess I’ll finish my drink.”

“So what landed you here? You’re out of college right?”

“Yeah, but there really isn’t any good work for an illustration major right now.”

“Cool! What type of illustration?”

“I’ve liked comic books ever since I was little, my parents always supported me when it came to my passions so I was fortunate they helped me through college.”

“Yeah, I haven’t figured out my art yet. I’m in my third year of Uni and I know I want to do something in the paint/drawing area. I just get so worried about what my whole schtick is and then panic.”

“I get it man. I knew I wanted to be in the comic industry but I thought I only wanted to write them rather than write AND illustrate. It’s never too late for anything.”

“Yeah. Y’know you’re a lot easier to talk to than other bartenders.”

“I get that a lot.”

“Har har. Seriously, have you thought about making tutorials or something? You could just chat with the camera while you draw.”

Scotty thought for a moment. “That’s actually not a terrible idea.”
“I know”

“Okay.”

Louise chatted with Scotty until closing time. She and him had a lot in common, what with interests and such. But was really surprised Louise was when Scotty locked up.

“Yo. Logan’s having a Housewarming party this weekend. You wanna come with me and ya know, throw him off his axis?”

“Is that even a question? Of course!”

Louise and Scotty exchanged numbers; Louise entitled his contact Acne Covered Kitten #1 while laughing to herself.

Chapter Text

You don’t have to wait

The world will carry on

They stare in your face

But it won’t stay for long

Second Nature-Electronic

Logan was staring at the open file for the mystery patient, he groaned. This was all hitting a little too close to home for him, his condition wasn’t at the same complication that his patient was at. It was rare but not as infinitesimally rare as hers.

No. 

Nope. 

He was going to stop thinking about this.

Instead he was going to think about his housewarming party on Friday. He didn’t want Bee in the house for the party. She was still a puppy and Logan didn’t want her getting hurt on accident. 

He’d already invited his high school friends and his college friends along with his new coworkers. He hadn’t really hung around his coworkers too much but he thought that this would be a good chance to get to know him and vice versa. 

“Knock Knock.” Dr. Banes was at his office door.

“Come in!”

The older man sat down on the other side of Logan’s desk. The two sat in silence for quite a bit of time. 

“Okay Bush. I’ll cut straight to the point, do you have anything yet?”

“I thought we-I wasn’t going to be doing anything until she gets a reaction again.”

“Logan, you know as well as myself that we need precautions. Do you have anything better right now?”

Logan tugged on his hair a bit, he knew he didn’t have anything. He knew it. He had some barely legible scribbles on a pharmacy bag that he’d left over at the pharmacy.

“I’m sorry sir, this has been stumping me. I have a rare condition similar to hers but, I know that’s not an excuse. It’s just been a rough go of things as of late.”

Dr. Banes sighed, “I was worried about this. Listen, if you don’t think you’re up to it I can ask someone else.”

Logan leaned back into his chair. “NO! No.” The blond exhaled, trying to gather his thoughts “ No, I want to help this woman. I really do. I just need a little more time.”

“I’m holding you to it kid.” the doctor paused, “Just so you know, I’m not expecting some giant medical breakthrough or anything. I just want you to focus on helping her, not curing her.”

Logan was at his shift at the pharmacy.

“Liz, I just don’t know what to do! I know you probably have something!”

“Sorry kiddo. I’ve known this girl for years now and I know what she’s got. I think you just need to do more research.”

“WAIT! You know her?! Well why don’t you get me in touch wit-”

“Absolutely not. You are S. O. L. my boy. I had to sign an NDA from her family and the hospital. I could lose my job if I tell you. Also, I like her as a person and I know she’d make my life a living hell if I told anyone. I’d be scared of what she’d do to the unlucky bastard that even asked.”

“Yikes.” Logan tried to look anywhere but the woman in front of him.

“Yeah.” Liz handed a prescription to a customer. “Have a nice rest of your day!” the older pharmacist turned back to her younger coworker. “She’s a really good person, she’s just scared because she knows how massive a leak in info would be. She doesn’t want pity or public outcry.”

“No, I definitely get it. It’s just that talking to her would be really helpful towards my research.”

“Sorry bud.” Liz disappeared in the back of the pharmacy.

It had been about an hour since Liz had gone to the back, Logan was a little irritated she wasn’t telling him what she was up to but that was besides the point. He was new, he needed a guidance figure. Said figure was currently doing something in the back rooms.

Logan was ready to start playing solitaire on the pharmacy computer. That was until there was a ding of the bell up front. He immediately perked up, scrambling to get to the front counter.

“Oh! Ears.”

“Oh. Bush.” Louise rolled her yes

“That’s Doctor Bush to you Shortstack.”

“Shut up Doctor Dickwad. I need an actual pharmacist.”

“Those are fighting words.”

“I-”

Liz came out of the back, interrupting the brewing argument. “Ah! Louise! Good, you’re here.”

“Yep! I just wanted to talk!”

“Of course!”

Liz took Louise back into her office. Louise followed the two of them with his eyes. Suddenly catching a couple stray ‘birds’ from Louise.

And with that, Logan knew it was the end of the conversation. But what he actually wanted to end was the dinner he was supposed to have with his parents that night.

“Oh Logan, I am SO happy that you actually went through with something! Even if you’re not an actual doctor.”

“Cynthia.” Logan was glad as his dad was stepping in. even if it was minor.

“What? You actually went through med school Tom! Your son just took some general med and then whisked off to pharma school.”

“Yes, but also I am a doctor. I know how meds mix and interact, I have a degree telling me I’m a doctor.” Logan tried to keep the growing irritation out of his voice.
“Oh sweetie, it’s adorable that you think that!”

“Mom, you’re a realtor. You should know that taking up space to take up space lowers property value. Plus, if you were really as happy as you say, you wouldn’t be so undermining of the things I do.” Logan punctuated with scooping wild rice into his mouth.

Cynthia looked at her son, brows furrowed. “Logan. What did we talk about?”

“Listen, I appreciate how ‘proud of me’ you are but you really need to get yourself some therapy.”

“I will not let my son talk to me like that! TOM!”

“The hell do you want me to do Cynthia? Logan’s just being truthful.”

“OHH-GA- TOM! You are being such a terrible husband.”

“Don’t blame dad for your shortcomings mom.” Logan responded, shoving lambchop into his mouth.

“My sister was right.” Cynthia shouted into the dining room. She stood up scooting her chair back as she stormed up the stairs of his parents overpriced town house.

“Sorry son.”

“Yeah. thanks dad.”

Logan clutched the leather of his steering wheel.

Every. Fucking. Time. he went over to his parents’ house it started with his mom undermining him or his dad and ended with Cynthia stomping up the stairs. 

One of these days Logan was just going to not go. Today was not that day.

It had been a few days since the disastrous dinner with his parents and Logan was slumped over on the couch, with Bee licking his face. He was NOT in the mood to have his party today. 

There was a knock at the door and it revealed Jacob. 

“Hey Blondie! What's up!” Jacob held up his hand for a high five. When none came he picked up Logan's hand and smacked it against his own. “What’s got you down bro?”

“I had dinner with my parentals earlier this week.”

“Ah.”

The two sat in silence. Jacob had been friends with Logan since third grade and was his neighbor for most of their childhood. He’d heard the squabbles and shrieking and yells that came from the Bush Household. It was never pretty.

“Why have your parents not gotten a divorce?”

“I don’t know man. My mom is really controlling, I know that sometimes she means well but she's really unreasonable.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through this shit. Just know you can talk to me okay.”

“Thanks.”

“NOW! Let's set up this par-TAY.”

Logan brought Bee over to Gloria’s unit and headed back over to his apartment. Jacob was setting up the gift area when Logan got back. The blond went over to the cooler to dump the beer and bag of ice into it. He joined Jacob in moving some of the furniture against the walls to make space for a beer pong table and the just Dance Dance Revolution. 

Everything was turning out pretty good so far. 

It got better when the duo decided to play Dance Dance Revolution. Logan won the first round, with Jacob completely demolishing him in the next five rounds.

Jacob was doing a really good job at cheering Logan up. When you’ve known someone for as long as the duo had, you know how to cheer the other up.

“Okay, it's only noon. Why don’t we grab some lunch?” 

“Yeah that sounds good! We finished earlier than I thought we would, Imma grab Bee and we can go to a patioed restaurant or something.”

“That’d be chill.”

The two grabbed Bee, then set off to find a restaurant a walkable distance for Bee. They settled on Patio No She Didn’t, Logan had been there before due to it being a year round patio restaurant. The inside was painted and renovated to look like a patio, the back patio was also open year round. 

They were seated on the patio near the bar. As they settled in Jacob and Logan’s phones rang out simultaneously.

─⋅⋅•⋅●⋅•⋅⋅─

 Cool Name

Beam Me Up

YO!

Logan is it okay if I bring my friend?

(o3o) / Pwees?

You Already Know Your Damn Name (Logan)

Uh. . .

I mean I guess

Are they chill?

Logan Looked over to Jacob who shrugged, “I don’t really care. It’s your party.”

Scotty never really asked for things like this. Most of the time it was to mess with one of them. 

“Ah, whatever. Fuck it. I’ll let his friend come.”

“Who are you and what have you done with uptight Logan?” Jacob laughed, dipping the free bread into the balsamic vinegar and oil.

Logan had to admit. For most of his childhood and into high school he was really nonchalant, but the past few years he’d turned into a really anxious and tightly wound person.

 Cool Name

Beam Me Up

Ofc, I just met her but we’re like besties.

We’ve made bracelets, I’ll send a picture if you want me to.

Jacolby Jack

I want you to send a picture

Beam Me Up (. . .)

You Already Know Your Damn Name (Logan)

Jay

No

I don’t care about friendship bracelets

Jacolby Jack

Saved by the bell little boy 

Also I completely respect that you make friendship bracelets

Wait, Y'all we should Make Bracelets one of these days

You Already Know Your Damn Name (Logan)

Ditto on the bracelets thing

BUT LET SCOTTY FINISH A DAMN THOUGHT!

Beam Me Up

Thanks Logan

Also, she doesn’t drink. 

I know you normally keep NA drinks but do you mind getting some cocktail stuff so I can make her something?

Also cherry coke.

Jacolby Jack

Why don’t you bring your own damn bar

Like bruh

You Already Know Your Damn Name (Logan)

Children, stop fighting.

Also it seems like you’re getting pretty “chummy” with this new friend Scotty

(¬‿¬)

Beam Me Up

Har Har

I mean she is hot but we’re all out of her league, especially you Logie

You Already Know Your Damn Name (Logan)

Well now I’m curious 

The women love me, no women are out of my league.

Quick pause y’all

CONSENT IS KEY

Beam Me Up

CONSENT IS KEY

Jacolby Jack

CONSENT IS KEY

But also she’s just a figment of Scott’s imagination

His rizz is so fuckin negative he can’t pull

Beam Me Up

Bitch, I can pull more than you

Also, when did you start using internet slang like that???

Wft

You Already Know Your Damn Name (Logan)

Look, Scotty you can bring her but the only thing I’m buying on top of the other NA things is that cherry coke

Jake, Buddy, calm down

“Hey! I’m right here, stop scolding me in front of Scotty!”

Logan cackled to himself.

Cool Name

Beam Me Up

Thx

She’s really excited to meet you guys! 

I’ve talked about you guys a lot

Jacolby Jack

I can’t wait to meet this “hot” new “bestie”

Beam Me Up

I am not interested in her like that

I mean . . .

Maybe

But I think she’d bend my arm ALL the way back ‘till she heard the snap. If I told her that or I told her that I told y’all that! 

(╹ꇴ◠)/*

You Already Know Your Damn Name (Logan)

We’re just poking fun at you

If you don’t end up with her, you should let the host take a shot at her

I like ‘em feisty

Jacolby Jack

Dude, don’t say that

You Already Know Your Damn Name (Logan)

Y

Jake, do you want a shot at her?

Jacolby Jack

Nah, you just sound like Cotton from King of the Hill

Beam Me Up

Yeah, what he said

You Already Know Your Damn Name (Logan)

?

Beam Me Up

Hank’s terrible father. . .

You Already Know Your Damn Name (Logan)

〣 ( ๐Δ๐) 〣

NO

“Did I really sound like that?” Logan asked Jacob in a frantic voice.

“A little, but me and Scot were just messin’ with ya.”

“You guys think you’re REAL funny huh?”

“Maybe a little”

Chapter Text

My mind’s lost with nightmares streamin’

Woken up kickin’ and screamin’

Oh, take me out of this place I’m in

Oh, break me out of this shell-like case I’m in

Human-Daughter

“I’m just saying T, Timothee Chalemet is NOT that guy okay? Like I can see the appeal- I guess. he ‘s just a sentient twig-”

“Counter point Gene- his hair.”

“Okay you got me there. The man’s got great hair,”

“Great hair I mean like-”

“Exactly what I'm saying. Like how does that tiny man get so blessed in the hair lottery.”

“I mean that’s kinda the only thing going for him to be honest.”

Louise chose that moment to burst through the door of Tina’s room startling Tina, resulting in her hitting her head on her headboard. Gene on the other hand had always been easy to scare and shot over to hide in Tina’s closet.

“Gene you’re dead, Tina you just took your last breath. Honestly, we’ve practiced intruder drills before. Horrible job everyone.” Louise slow clapped.

“Louise, don't be mad. You don’t even email us updates anymore.” Tina protested, going back to her journalism final.

“Whatever T, I came to talk to you guys about a new friend I made!”

Gene went from being in Tina’s closet, to sitting on her bed in faster time than any of the siblings had seen from them. 

“Are we talking like a friend, or a friend ?” Gene asked, their tone of voice lowering just enough that Louise could tell what they were insinuating. 

“I don’t like what you’re insinuating. Gene. And the VERY idea you would even ask is SICK!”

Gene cackled.

“No, it’s not like that. He’s a bartender I met that turned out to be one of Logan’s friends.”

“Louise are you sure that this isn’t a friend situation-Wait did you say one of Logan’s friends?”
“Ya.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re cooking up a scheme.” “I’m cooking up a scheme.”

There was a rather large thunk as Tina started bumping her head against the headboard of her bed. “Louise, you're going to give me an aneurysm.”

“Yes! What our very wise older sister said!” Gene piped in.

“Listen, you can do whatever you want but maybe think things through first.” Tina sighed.

“I think everything through all the time always! The fact that you don’t believe me hurts my feelings.” 

“LOUISE! What was your whole ‘ask’ about making new friends?” Gene cut into the conversation, recognizing the signs of a brewing argument between their sisters.

“OH! YES! So he asked me to go to Logan’s Housewarming party and I just don’t know if I should go. I mean I already told him yes because I was like ‘a chance to mess with Logan!’ but then I realized I don’t really know him well. And I don’t want to appear on a future episode of dateline.” Louise ended her panicked driveling.

“I wouldn’t be your sister if I didn’t know how anxious you are about everything. As your sister I definitely want you to be safe and to feel safe, okay? You always make the right decision in the end, just do what you feel is best.”

“Thanks T. Gene, you want to crash a party with me?”

“What time?”

“Like 6:30 tomorrow?”

“Sorry, I’m helping Courtney teach a class at her studio.”

“Shart. Well who else am I going to ask? Tina would be too noticeable. Maybe Darryl, maybe Jordan, no. And I DEFINITELY can’t ask Rudy-”

“Oh yeah, what ever happened between the two of you?” Tina asked innocently from her journal.

“Nothing. Nothing happened.”

Louise left the room in a hurry. She really didn’t want to talk about that last day she was friends with Rudy. She ESPECIALLY didn’t want to talk about how hurt she felt when she found out that Rudy was getting married. 

“I have stuff to do, bye!”

Louise’s siblings stared at the door frame where their little sister had exited the room.

“Do you think we’ll ever know what happened?” Tina pondered aloud, not realizing she did so.

“It’s not a matter of ‘know’ but rather understanding.” Gene responded, their voice smooth and even.

Tina stared at them as her eyes widened. That sentence spoken with maturity Tina never thought she’d see outside her imagination, and here, Gene had muttered the delicate words.

Flour :D

Jessica, I don’t think I can go to Rudy’s wedding with you.

:(

Y not?

I’m just not in the mindset for it right now

His wedding is in like three months!

I’d say three months is enough time to get over whatever

 weird funk  you’re in right now.

Jay, it’s not just some weird funk, okay?!

I’m not going and that’s final.

Understand?

Why are you acting like this???

You and Rudy are joined at the hip!

I mean you’re like his Maid of Honor right?

I can’t even begin to imagine what Rudy’s wedding would be without you!

Perfect.

It would be perfect.

Because I’m not there Jess.

WHY?

BECAUSE!!!

YOU’RE DANCING AROUND A POINT!

JUST MAKE IT ALREADY?

I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM JESSICA!!

Louise exhaled deeply, very deeply. She knew she had a crush on Rudy when she was nine, after a while it just became a common fact. It was something she knew, always keeping it just at the edge of her brain. At a distance that she could walk away from if it got to be too much. 

This, however, was the first time she’d admitted it to someone. Put it out there.

Flour :D

Well rather, I WAS

I’m sorry.

I’m so sorry Louise.

Don’t.

Just don't.

I don’t want to talk about it.

The day that I heard he was getting married, from you. That’s a day that hurts. 

It hurts despite the fact I haven’t seen him for years

. . .

Louise watched the bubble from Jessica’s messages pop up, and disappear, then emerging again only for it to hide in the dark mode of Louise’s phone.

“FUCK!”

The behatted girl tossed her phone into the drawer of her bedside table, knowing if she didn’t, it would end up on the raggedy carpet of her room across from her. Broken in a million tiny pieces. 

Louise woke up the next morning, her entire body was freezing. She pulled all of her blankets around her. Trying for some sort of warmth, some sort of relief. None came.

“MOM!”

“Yes, My bab-AH! Why do ya look like that! Oh my poor baby! BOB!”

“Lin, what’s wrong you’re yelling in the house ag-” Bob stood in Louise’s doorway. A face that Louise hadn’t really seen before had settled there.

After two people in her house had clearly been affected by how she looked, she grabbed her phone and switched it to selfie mode. Her eyes were grey.

Her eyes were grey!

Her.

Eyes.

Were.

Grey.

“MY EYES ARE GREY?!” Louise tore her eyes away from her phone and to her parents. There was just as much fear and worry in their eyes as in hers.

Louise sprinted to the bathroom, struggling to not slip on the stairs to the attic. She needed to know her phone was right. That her eyes were in fact grey, that her body had fucking CHANGED IT’S GENETIC MATERIAL CAUSEING HER TO HAVE DIFFERENT PIGMENTS IN HER GOD DAMN EYEBALLS. 

It had. Her body had changed, it did something. It was just temporary. It had to be cause there was no way that this was actually happening. No, Louise would wake up in a cold sweat on her bed any moment now. 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaany moment now.

─── ⊹⊱✧⊰⊹ ───

Louise was standing in a tank top, Burobu pajama pants, and her hospital slippers. A pale green sweatshirt pulled tight against her skin. The burn of the fabric digging into her skin was a nice distraction from what was happening at the moment. Though, she wasn’t quite sure what exactly was happening. 

She could hear her parents' panicked voices at the ER desk, she could feel her siblings trying to comfort her.

All of her instincts were telling her to run. She didn’t know where to, but she knew she needed to run. She glued her feet to the ground. 

It’s been three hours since her family had gotten to the hospital. Her siblings had abandoned her one by one, in favor of joining their parentals in yelling at the hospital staff.

Louise had sat herself down on a bench, the pleather of the seat having been doused in whatever sticky things that children and adults alike would wipe or spill on it.  Louise had rolled the drawstrings of her pajama pants into a tight coil, only to unravel it later. And start the process over again.

“Geez! You got a whole pit crew over there, one of your axles out of alignment?”

Louise looked up to see the crisp, clean, doctor's coat belonged to a recent graduate.

“Yep, definitely what it is.” she replied, leaning back to stare at the ceiling. Closing her eyes hoping the obnoxious coat-adorned pharmacist would take a hint.

“Aww! What no spice? No fight in ya today?” Logan all but grinning from behind his sip of coffee.

“Nope.” she rolled her eyes under her closed eyelids.

Louise felt the pleather bench dip as Logan clearly had decided to sit down.

“What’s the ailment? A severe case of ‘I’m a widdle dwamaqueen!’?”

“Not your business.”

“C’mon ‘Stacks. I’m literally a doctor here. You’d be an idiot to not accept my help!”

“Well I’d be even more of an idiot If I DID.”

“You’re not entertaining any of my Bull today.”

“Nope.”

“Cool.”

“Sure.”

There was uncomfortable silence in the space between them, Louise couldn’t give less of a care about it. And she didn’t really enjoy the whole mystery part of her irises turning grey, not to mention the white male privileged shaped thing sitting next to her. Thus not giving any satisfaction or entertainment to the overgrown gastropod sitting next to her. She rolled her eyes again, this time so hard she got dizzy. Dropping her head to her shoulder she opened her eyes to look over at him. She frowned.

Logan was just sitting there sipping his coffee and bouncing his leg, ever so slightly making a ‘squeak’ noise against the gross sensory sin of a bench. He just didn’t care. Louise was irritated now, more so than she was before. Whatever he was trying to pull was going to go down in flames, that, Louise was sure about.

“Don’t you have some MEDICAL MALPRACTICE to get to?” Louise asked loudly into the lobby. Immediately regretting it as she got a pang of pain behind her eyeballs. She still smiled as a few patients scooted away from where the two of them sat.

“Hey Butthead! I just got out of Pharm school, I don’t need to find another career in less than six months.” Logan scolded, his coffee sloshing around with his hand movements.

“Whatever, I’m not the boss of you. Mostly because if I was your boss I'd have to care about you AND what you do to some extent, which, I can’t emphasize this enough, I don’t.” 

Louise opened her eyes, turning back to Logan. She was greeted by a gross intrusion of her personal space as she witnessed two big brown eyes staring her down. She could feel Logan breathing on her.

“UGH!” Louise exclaimed and gut punched the older man. “Fucking breathe on literally anybody else!”

A mangled “Weren’t your eyes hazel?” was pushed from his chest as he continued to double over.

“Why’re you looking at my eyes that much? Perv.” she spat.

It was Logan’s turn to roll his eyes, “I was just asking.” he somewhat coughed.

“Didja need to ask me that, AN INCH AWAY FROM MY FACE?”

“I’ll admit that was probably overkill-”

“Understatement of the year.”

“AS I WAS SAYING- that’s not a normal symptom of anything. Normally I’d say something like ‘maybe it’s your soulmark’ but it’s normally the other way. Gray, white, black to Roy G. Biv. Gotta hand it to ya Ears, when you create a medical mystery you create one HELLUVA mystery.”

“Gee thanks assface.”

“Hey! What was that for?”

“Idk. I thought you could actually help.”

“Shoulda, coulda, woulda-” Logan went to respond

“Well you’re a doctor at a hospital that- wait what was that?!” Louise asked and frantically pointed over Logan’s shoulder, as she unpaused the screaming goat video she had queued up on her phone (she always had one ready for opportune moments like this). Right in his ear. The taller man pushed Louise out of shock, leading the momentum from his push to shove BOTH of them to the ground on either side of the bench.

“UGH! SICK! I have hospital floor cooties on me!” Louise turned to Logan, grabbing his hair and yanking it. A loud shout erupted from him, Louise pulled his head to her face. “If I get the Measles, Mumps, OR Rubella, I’m suing.” She let go of his hair, watching amusedly as he frantically tried to flatten his hair back to the slicked back ‘do he had it in before Louise’s hand found it. Louise was a tad surprised that her tug had any effect on his hair due to the amount and severity of the product.

“JESUS LOUISE!” The doctor said, exasperation heavy in his voice. “You were literally the one who pulled the stunt.”

Louise was already halfway down the hall to the cafeteria.

She could hear some huffing and swishing of scrubs against a cotton coat.

“We weren’t done . What was that about?!”

“I mean I’m done. But if you want seconds!” Louise made a pincer shape on either hand as she pretended to grab at Logan's hair.

Mind you, Louise was quite a bit shorter than him. But her hand could reach his hair. As she grabbed at the air by his temple he’d lean backwards or sideways to dodge her ‘attempts’.

“Quit it Louise. You’re just a little too old for this.”

“Maybe, but it’s definitely more fun than being too young for it.”

Louise had made it to the cafeteria, she looked around. Finally deciding to take a beeline for the dessert booth. Logan followed suit.

“HEY! Don’t ignore me! I’m trying to have a civil conversation with you right now.”

“You’re doing a pretty shit job at it.” the shorter woman said over her shoulder, her mouth full of Chocolate-Vanilla swirl soft serve. 

“Wai- how did you get that- NO! Seriously ? I’m not the one with these childish tactics.”

“Sure.”

Louise walked away from the booth.

“Cash or Credit Sir.”

Logan whipped his head over to the cashier. “What?”

“Cash or credit, that nice young lady said that you would be covering her food.”

“WHAT?! GHA-” Logan handed the cashier a crisp ten dollar bill.

Louise was back in the waiting room, Tina and Gene were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.

“Hey kids! I brought some sustenance.” Louise announced to her siblings.

“Thanks Lou-Lou! I was getting tired after all of that yelling!” Gene told her happily biting into a rice crispy bar.

“Yeah, that was really nice of you Louise!” Tina agreed, half of the cookie she was eating was gone.

“Well, I try!!”

“The hell you do you little turd shape of a human being!” an angry Logan scolded.

“Like you were going to use that emergency ten dollars for something today.” Louise shot back.

“Well it’s called emergency money for a reason so I might hav-” but was interrupted.

“Louise Belcher? Your doctor will see you now.” a tall, pretty nurse announced to the room.

“You’re telling me you have no idea where this is coming from?” Louise asked the Doctor, the strain in her voice evident.

“Well at the moment, yes. But we took some blood samples, so hopefully we will know soon. I’m under the impression that you normal practitioner works here?”

“Yes.”

“I will direct you over to him then.”

“Louise-” Dr. Banes was cut off by a long sigh. “Louise, I don't know what to tell you. I don’t have any explanation at the moment. I won’t know anything until your blood tests are back. The only other thing I can think of testing at the moment would be your optic nerve, general sight test, and maybe a spinal tap. There is no brain inflammation but if it gets to that point there is a possibility.  But I really don’t suggest-”

“I want you to do all of them.”

“But Louise a spinal tap is extremely painfu-”

“Dr. Banes, everything about my life is extremely painful! If I get even a small chance at understanding what’s happening to me right now it’ll be worth it!”

“And I understand that! But I'd really advise against this! Your blood tests should get what we’re looking for-”

“I-” Louise was cut off by her doctor.

“Louise! Let me finish! I need you to know that as of right now, because there's no evidence of any brain inflammation or other indicator of anything. I'm not doing the Spinal tap!”

“But-”

“Louise. Listen. To. Me. You trusted me with your health. I take that very seriously! I know what we have to do. Just leave it to me. Please.”

Louise sighed, Dr. Banes had been there through thick and thin for the last three years. 

“Okay. I trust you.”

Louise sighed loudly as she plopped down on the couch. The day had been extremely harrowing and tiring. Louise had gone through an optical test, and MRI and CT scans. So far nothing came up. Unfortunately that meant all of this likely had to do with magic.

It was always fucking magic!

The only problem that Louise had right now, was, why wasn’t her body responding to the magic like it normally did? Why wasn’t she in pain or at the hospital on an IV drip with Morphine in her arm? 

Don’t get her wrong, Louise was extremely happy that she wasn’t in pain. She was DELIGHTED, but it was the fact that this wasn’t normal for her body. Things like this normally indicated that there was another underlying issue or, the calm before the storm if you will.

Louise had always been jealous of Tina.

Her older sister seemed naive which, at certain points, was true. But the even more peculiar part of her character as a person and a spirit, was the fact that Tina was one of the rare people who could tap into and manipulate the magic of their world. She’d attempted to help Louise before but it never ended well. She can sense very accurately when Louise is going to get a spell, and the level of which it’ll be at. This time however, Tina was NOT able to tell their little family, and specifically, Louise, that she was going to have this situation.

Tina always had an easy time talking about soulmarks and soulbonds, because she knew where hers was and who it was. But the concepts terrified Louise. She had pain in severe bouts and worried relentlessly that the pain might pass or even be shared by her soulmate if she ever had or received one. But that was one of the things she hated about their world. Soulmates were seen as these relationships that were ‘given’ to you as a reward for something nothing ever made sense. Her parents weren’t given to one another, they earned their love through actions and experiences. They forged a relationship of their own because of how strongly they felt for one another. That was what Louise believed love could and should be.

The youngest Belcher groaned, burying her head in the cushions in the back of the couch. Ignoring the knitted blanket draped on the back. She knew it’d leave patterned marks on her face but chose to ignore it in favor of ignoring other, less trivial things. 

Chapter Text

There's another way

apart from this misery, and it's got me

Wondering exactly what I'm missing

Origami - The Rare Occasions 

Logan picked at a hangnail on his left thumb.

The light green sweatshirt and Burobu pj pants disappear into the examination rooms.

That was a very normal Logan-Louise interaction, but there was something weird about it. Just straight up bizarre. Logan looked down at the Chai Latte and Bagel club sandwich in his hands. He was glad that Louise had gone to the cafeteria, whether or not she was, Logan was hungry and had actually made his way down there to the lobby to get to the canteen area. Being able to irritate Louise was just a bonus. The blond headed to the staff elevator and inserted the user key in preparation to get back to his office.

Flopping down in his overstuffed leather office chair was the highlight of the day so far. He thought about queuing a video up on his phone, but settled for watching the papers he had on his desk struggle not to flutter off the hardwood desk from the force of which he sat down. In the process of unwrapping the sandwich his eyes settled on a file that wasn’t affected by the displaced air. It was the lavender Manila folder. The patient's name read “REDACTED”. The slight sound of the card stock weight paper followed the noticing of the folder as he picked it up.

He held the heavy paper folder in his hands(well, metaphorically heavy folder), something was making him hesitant to open it, he wasn’t really sure why. He abandoned the sandwich and folder in favor of answering voicemails and missed calls. It was a good thing he did because Dr. Banes had delivered new test and exam results showing that REDACTED had complete lack of color in her eyes meaning that something must have happened in the few weeks she’d been away from the hospital. The file said something along the lines of ‘family and patient are not sure the exact time in which the change occurred. Family knows it was between 7:36 pm to 11:07 am the next day. Change is assumed to be gradual’.

This patient was not making it easy on him. 

At the moment nothing else really mattered, he could make the rest of his rounds later. Turning only to see the clear dry-erase board was staring at him, only lessening its judgmental gaze as the snap of the marker cap opening sounded into the room. Then the consistent squeaking and taping of the near unused marker was the only thing that mattered or than the file.

Most issues are pain or inflammation, this (eye color change) is entirely different from ‘normal’ symptoms

 Settled on the board. The folder was binder clipped to the corkboard strip at the top of the board.

lack of soulmark

1. physically
2. Gravitationally
3. graphically (on skin mark or drawing)

Yet eyes changed to zero pigmentation of normal coloring

Is there a possibility of #1 is changing?

Logan tapped the marker to his chin in thought, glancing over at the file he flipped the pages up until he found the one he was looking for:

Mark tried manifesting at 19 but was hindered due to complete degradation of said skin.

There was a digital copy of a photo capturing the situation. The puffed lines in the skin looked really similar to the-  Nope that doesn’t matter we’re not here to speculate into personal life. 

There was a decent list of meds for treating anxiety, and ADHD. Most of the meds he was thinking about prescribing shouldn’t interact in a bad way with the current meds

Drugs used 

• IV drip morphine for in-hospital treatment

• Ibuprofen or acetaminophen when not on other pain killers

• Milnacipran*

• Duloxetine
• triamcinolone acetonide ointment/cream for bad skin flare ups

* Only using milnacipran due to eminent decline in pain (not in use) and occasional ointment 

Logan finished with a nod and capped the marker only to crack it open again.

He wasn’t really sure where he should be going next with this treatment. All of the current treatments were what he would absolutely prescribe.

Possible solutions

• some sort of immunosuppressant if hospitalized
• allergy testing

Patient is allergic to magic, type of magic unknown-just that she’s allergic to magic.

The minute he set his marker down, Logan cringed his side was aching. Quittin’ time was early that day.

Leaving the scrubs in the laundry hamper next to the door, Logan looked at the left side of his torso. The entirety of the skin over his ribs was bright red and inflamed. It was puffy and angry. He’d never had a reaction like this, sure he’d had reactions. Anyone with his condition had, but he’d never had to this extent. He wasn’t high enough to deal with this right now, in response he uncapped the tube on the sink slathering his angry skin with the anti-inflammatory ointment his Doctor prescribed him for this very shit.

All of this made Logan groan. If this was what it was like for his rare condition, he couldn’t even begin to fathom what it would be like for Lavender Manila folder.  He sighed, pulling his shirt on and climbing into bed slowly feeling himself go limp as he relaxed. Clicking through the TV in his room he lowered the volume and found a channel showing one of those 20 minute infomercials that made you want to buy the product even less every minute it stayed on the screen.

Still- Logan couldn’t help but think, in some tiny corner of his mind, that maybe there was a possibility of Lavender folder being his soulmate.

Now obviously, Logan’s mark would change and morph. But depending on when that picture was taken . . .

Right?

Logan grumbled in anguish, nothing about anything was making more or less sense than it was when he’d started this endeavor. 

Lavender Folder had his mind flying a million miles a minute, especially about soulmates. The last time he’d dated was a year and a half ago. This happenstance of a picture made Logan feel like his brain was trying to push the soulmate idea too much. He wanted to be in a relationship because he wanted to be not because some blot on his shin told him to.

Needless to say he didn’t get much sleep that night.

The next morning was rough.

The swelling hadn’t really gone down, he took some tylenol and spread more ointment. Going through the motions, dropping Bee over at Gloria’s apartment, grabbing his mail, finally sliding into the driver's seat of his car. 

The slightly cool leather of the seat felt nice on his skin. 

Attempting to try and wake up a little more, he finally remembered his meds. The ones that he’d conveniently forgotten to take. Even though he went through his routine.

“Sonuva bitch.”

 Thundering up the stairs of his apartment complex and unlocking the door, he stomped over to the kitchen and pulled his meds alongside Designated Water Cup For His Meds ™, he pressed the repurposed shot glass to the back of the water dispenser on his fridge. Watching it gurgle as it filled.

Without any further thought he popped the capsules in his mouth, the familiar and somewhat bitter taste of the pills filled his mouth. Logan downed the shot glass of water, setting it upside down on the counter.

The drive to work was uneventful, the same light was still out. The same brunch place had a line out the door. The same hot girl was standing in his parking spot. Wait. 

Louise Belcher was standing in his parking spot 

Wait. 

Wait.

Wait.

. . .wait. . .

What?

(The fact that he’d just thought of Louise as attractive was something he was going to put on the back burner. Really hoping it wasn’t a boiling milk situation)

When it became clear that Logan wasn’t going to get out of the car Louise made her way to him.

Logan watched her round the front of the car and walk up to the driver’s seat window with wide eye. She made a gesture for him to roll the window down. It went down a few inches.

“Hey dipwad.” She paused like she was going to try and say something, but groaned. “UGHH.” 

There was a long silence as Louise looked up at the sky. If Logan bet money, he’d probably say that she was hoping a meteor would strike her down.

“Mom said I have to pay you for the food yesterday and I told her that you were definitely NOT losing much money. She must be going soft ‘cause she was all like ‘I don’t cay-a you’re goin’ ta pay that boy back! Even if his mom is ms. snooty.’ and to be clear that was all her. Anyways, here.”

Louise grabbed something from her pocket and shoved it through the crack in the window like it was a coin slot. A folded up ten flicked through the window and hit Logan in the face. He picked it up to examine it. Louise rolled her eyes so hard it looked like she’d given herself a headache when Logan pretended to check the bill in the sunlight like it was a forgery.

“Hey- that order was like seventeen dollars and change. I- gimme the rest Fours.” he tried.

“UH-UH! Do NOT call me that, and no. cause you did buy like a coffee and sandwich, so realistically speaking my stuff was like five maybe six dollars.”

“You’re kidding me. Right?”

“Pshaw! Babe, I'm helping you pay for lunch. ‘Cuz I'm just that generous!” she huffed teasingly.

“As if you overgrown bread mold!” For the record, Logan will admit it was a weak insult.

“What the fuck was that?” Louise laughed.

“It was an insult!”

“Oh SURE!” she ended.

Louise walked away, Logan watched her through the side mirror. It definitely was NOT because he was a little afraid of his kneecaps getting scalped if he tried to follow.

He might have watched her walk completely out of view, but that was neither here nor there.

Over the next week Logan really didn’t think about Louise at all. Which was honestly pretty nice, his heart rate didn’t spike in anger or a little fear at all. That was until the hospital pharmacy. Working the pharmacy was part of his rounds every once in a while, so he really didn’t mind. But when certain snarky women come in- it gets old. Fast.

Swinging the door open in response to the bell at the counter only to be met with the youngest Belcher child was . . . humbling.

“Oh goody it’s the ‘Phantom of the Opioid’ .” Louise ground her teeth.

“I know you meant that as an insult but I'm liking it. Feeling it.”

“Ew. don’t say that about anything in regard to me. Plus, it sounds like a character from a shitty anti-drugs VSH you’d show in a middle school health class.”

“Sigh. Louise, are you here for something, or just to make me rethink life choices?”

“Yeah, I’m here to pick up my antidepressants.” she smirked “Making you rethink life choices is just a bonus I guess.”

Logan shot her an unamused half-lidded expression, finally looking at the ancient keyboard connected to the monitor. It clacked happily as Logan looked up her prescription. 

“Yeah, you’re all set. I can quick grab those for you and package them.”  he said absentmindedly. Logan went over to the B section of last names and found the right meds. The ka-chink of the stapler finishing the order off.

“Okay that will be-” the taller man took off his glasses and cleaned them.

There was a rather decent sized section of Louise’s medical history that was redacted from the screen.

“That’s odd.”

Louise rolled her eyes. “What? How you even passed pharma school? Believe me, I know.”

“NO smartass this.” he swiveled the monitor so Louise only had to slightly lean over the counter to look at it. “I can’t see like a crap ton of your medication history.” he said, effectively ending that portion of the conversation.

“So? It’s nunya.” Louise responded irritably with a peace sign.

“Louise, it very much is. I’m the head of the pharmaceutical department of this hospital. I should have access to this.” panic had set into his voice while he aggressively punched in codes.

“Maybe it wasn’t meant for your delicate orbs. Ever think about that?” she snapped.

Logan continued to clack at the clearance code and settings. None of the overrides worked and he was getting frustrated.

“Can I please just have my happy pills? I need to get goin-”

 “NO! I need to see the rest of it! I’m not handing you these random ass meds that you have prescribed! Not without checking risks.” Logan knew that the clicking had turned frantic

“OHHH, so NOW you’re good at your job. God, talk about one track mind.” Louise’s arms were tightly woven into each other across the bottom of her ribcage, fingers picking at a loose thread on the hem of her sweatshirt.

Suddenly, Liz burst out of the back at a frankly, alarming speed, pacing towards the register.

“Hey Lou! I’ll finish ringing you up sweetheart.”

“No- Liz I got this covered I’ll finish this you’re all good to go.” Logan answered, trying to shoo her away.

“Nah I got this Logan.”

“All good, I can help her.” an angry blare of yet another wrong password sounded out.

“Just let me do this.” Liz’ voice more stern this time.

“Liz your shift ended a few minutes ago it’s fine-”

That was the breaking point, because right as the next noise pushed it’s way out of the computer Liz shouted. “GODAMMIT LOGAN! Bug the HELL off and let me handle this.”

Logan jumped while recoiling in surprise.

Liz never raised her voice like that, not without a reason. 

So what was the reason?

After he’d moved out of hearing range, Logan watched the transaction from a few feet away.

Louise said something, Liz laughed and nodded. Louise left with her meds.

What the hell? He thought to himself.

“Liz, what the hell was that about?”

the older woman opened her locker in the back, starting to get her back and lunchbox.

“Logan, there are somethings at this hospital that you don’t have access to. Period. I’m not arguing with you, okay?”

”I’m the head of the department! I should be able to see the files.”

”You’re a good kid Logan, but I’m the only one other than Jill and a few other relevant doctors that can see the history. It’s not permitted.”

”That’s ridiculous! I oversee everything in this department, if Louise has that going on- How many other patients have this type of thing with their files?! Not to mention how insubordinate your actions just were. Openly yelling at me in front of a patient!” he finished with a squawk.

Liz’ eye twitched as her brows minutely furrowed, “Listen close, because apparently you’re James Fucking Blond with how many questions you’re dropping. I am your senior consultant and when I tell you to drop something you. Drop. It.” She finished as Logan swallowed in defeat.

”Fine. But at least explain what it is. Please.”

”What did I literally just say?”

“That I need to drop it.”

“Yeah. So do it.” 

Logan hesitated for a moment, he’d treated Liz like his mother treated other people. A long while ago the pharmacist promised he would never treat others like his mom treated them.

“I-” the words fell short on his tongue. “I’m, I’m sorry okay? I just want to do my job to the fullest extent that I can. I didn’t mean to freak out about that. I’m sorry.” there was a bittersweet taste in his mouth, his childish feud with Louise had caused damage(well, more so than usual). Logan being the wrecking ball.

Liz was almost to the door, the previously spoken words doing something to convince. 

She sighed “Listen up because I am only telling you this once. Mostly due to the fact that if I explain further than what I’m about to say I’ll get sued if anyone finds out.”

”Jesus what do they have you-” Logan started.

“KID.”

Logan shut his mouth.

”Okay. Louise’s medical history is only accessible to people she gives permission to. Those people have to be okayed by the hospital's admin. I have permissions because Jill, the woman that went on leave before you officially started, was her main prescriber. She worked with her other doctors to help Louise get the stuff she needs. You have the child lock on because you have to go through a mountain of paperwork to get even a glance at that history, and even then, the lead doc has to ‘ok’ things. And by the looks of it you and Ms. ‘Tude have a history.” She finished with the zip of her backpack punctuating the sentence.

”But-“

”Kid if you don’t stop asking questions ‘Tude isn’t going to be the only one you have issues with.” Liz responded, a cock of her eyebrow telling Logan to just try it and see what happens.

”Alright. Thanks for explaining what you can, have a good night.”

”You too.’

Logan watched the shorter woman disappear into the parking lot of the busy hospital. 

That was weird. He thought to himself, he knew it wasn’t his business. 

Say what you will about Logan but he knew when to keep his nose out of things. 

Well, he did now , anyway. To be fair that wasn’t really applicable when he was younger.

None of this isn’t to say that he wasn’t curious, because he definitely was.

Logan holed up back in his office again, his absolutely useless brain couldn’t do anything other than focus on the fact that Louise was currently a literal blind spot for him in regards to the ONE and only thing you’d think he’d have a wrap on.

The 20-something stared down at the bleak grey mat that lay over the worn navy blue carpet that decorated the floor of his office. The stupidly flat carpet (if you could even classify it as such), that screamed ‘corporate desk job’ lining the office, was somehow the only thing keeping him from blowing his top.

As a teen, Logan could admit he was a hothead- hell for most of his life until counseling he was a hothead. He’d had a grasp on this emotional shit for at least a few years now. But there was something in Louise that brought, what Logan could only assume was, the worst out of him. 

This stupid firewall only emphasized it.

Some stupid minuscule aspect of her overly complex life and character snagged its way into the cashmere sweater that was his emotional balance. And Logan absolutely hated it.

He hated to give her credit for it, but she’d definitely grown a lot as a person. In fact, she didn’t even threaten him for the majority of their most recent interactions. And for Louise, that’s HUGE. Especially because when the two of them would have their occasional encounters, Louise would always be the same tricky, almost Fae esc levels of irritation and spite, but she was always softer than the time before that. As Logan had the chance, albeit briefly, to interact with the current Louise Belcher, he realized how remarkably her morals and codes had grown. She’d somehow kept every positive and beneficial trait of her personality and added the newer, shinier ones on top.

Logan saw it.

Clear as day.

But there was also something off about her. 

It was something that wasn’t there when she was a kid. 

The lightweight glow of optimism was all but gone. Replaced with a heavy pain that Logan couldn’t place.

To be completely honest-

That scared the hell out of him.

What in the entire world could possibly have such a devastating effect on Louise Belcher? The fact that this was even being questioned in the first place raised the goosebumps off Logans back more than before.

─⋅⋅•⋅●⋅•⋅⋅─

Logan shook his head, as Scotty nudged his arm, graciously pulling him from the swarm of thoughts that were tenderizing his brain.

“You good Logie bear?” he asked, taking a small sip of his beer.

“Uh. . . I-I think so?” Logan responded, there was a shell-like crack as he unconsciously snapped the tortilla chip he had in his hand in half. 

“Yeah, you’re really putting my mind at ease.” Scotty snickered.

“No. I just- I just” he blanked, the words he wanted to say becoming blurred “I-I I saw Louise twice this week once at the hospital and then the pharmacy. She had some sort of medical thing going on at the hospital.”

”Most who enter a hospital do.” Scotty snorted to himself.

”I’m just out of sorts I guess-“ Logan continued, ignoring the half assed joke from his friend. “It felt like there was a, like, like a, like there was something or some feeling she was hiding.”

”Dude you’re looking WAY too into this.”

”NO! I’m just I don’t know. . .” He thought for a moment. “Weirded out!”

Scotty rolled his eyes and squoze more lime into his drink “You’re really thinking about this buddy. Like in a ‘I’m going to stalk her’ way. Iz creepy.”

“The whole Belcher clan was in the waiting room, Scotty! I never see any patients with their entire family in the waiting room unless it’s really serious. And from the week I worked at Bob’s, he doesn’t like to close the restaurant. Says it’s bad for business. I can’t help but feel like there was something else going on, not just whatever medical emergency was affecting her. Something that’s related to whatever downer Louise seems to be on!” Logan angrily crunched the Flautas in his mouth. 

“Plus when she came by the pharmacy the other day it felt like freaking Mastermind, what with all the ‘guess the right sequence that gets you out alive’ vibe.”

“First, ‘working’ is a real generous term. And Second, what does it matter to you? You’re not treating her for anything. Plus, you hate the little bastard.” Scotty responded, shoving a bite of tamale in his mouth.

“I know! That’s what makes this infinitely more infuriating! It’s just so bizarre. I can guaran-fucking-tee that she DID NOT bring her whole family to the hospital to agitate me. Mostly because her family wouldn’t entertain it- well maybe Gene. But anyways. So there has to be another explanation. This feels like a fucking Poirot mystery with all the little clues leading back to whatever thing happened while I was out of the picture.” Logan ended. 

“It almost sounds like you’re worried about her.” His friend shot back, eyebrows wriggling in a “You know I’m right but you can’t say anything or it’ll prove my point.” way.

“Also on an unrelated note, Poirot? You didn’t strike me as a british murder mystery watcher.”

“I’m not really, but it was the one thing my dad and I would watch when he was home from work. Plus, Poirot’s goated. He figures everything out.”

All the talk of mysteries and clues were pointing out his increasing concern at how focused his mind had become on Louise’s weird change in demeanor. It would be less weird for him to be focused on her “medical mystery”. Especially because he still hated her! He’d seen her like thrice since he’d been back in Seymour’s Bay and now his brain was trying to become a fucking field guide to the “Flora and Fauna of the Louise Belcharian climate”.

Scotty cleared his throat to pull him from the thought. “Logan. You don’t handle her meds, you don’t examine her. Hell you don't even do rounds in the emergency room! My real question here, I guess, would be: Why were you even in the ER in the first place?” 

Scotty paused for a moment.

“Because you seemed to be focused on why she was in the emergency room when you should probably find the ‘why’ for you being there. We both know full well that you’re normally in the ICU around that time of the morning.”

The inquiry left Logan's side with an itch into a slight pang of pain. His skin felt raw and hot to the touch in that buzzing way right between your hand coming back from being asleep and being awake. It was right where- no. no he WASN’T thinking about that.

Continuing, Scotty took a deep breath. He knew what he was about to say would just completely flatten Logan and any semblance of sanity he had left.

“Could she maybe-” Scotty started but was rudely cut short.

“Don’t. Even. go. There.” Logan hissed, the anger on his face capable of melting paint.

Scotty finally exhaled, not realizing he was still holding the breath he’d taken. “Well sometimes these things will unconsciously pull you. I mean that could also explain seeing her at the pharmacy too. Maybe she was being-”

“Stop talking. Now.” Logan said deadpan.

Scotty raised his hands in defeat. “Look I was just trying to help man.”

“Try helping a little less.”

After returning home for the night, Logan lay in bed. Sleep seemed to be avoiding him.

Everything that he’s been thinking about and contemplating for days, weeks, were all seemingly pointless when he thought about REDACTED.

Lavender Folder was really putting things in perspective for him when he thought about this whole Louise thing.

Whoever this folder was, she was remarkable, she had to be in order to survive this. A condition of this severity was always written about in med journals or the person unlucky enough to have such a medical impairment would probably be featured on Good Morning America.

 Small pebbles is what this stupid feud between him and Louise was.

But there was still this part of him screaming about not seeing the entire picture, or that she’s just trying to get the element of surprise.

A sharp exhale sounded into his sheets.

Logan really wanted a hard reset of this situation. 

Chapter Text

Drowning light,

Need the cold to 

Sink into my soul

My soul

Ignore signs of change

No more

La Lune - Billie Marten

Louise watched Tina man the counter and awkwardly flirt with Zeke as he tried to deliver the Belchers weekly beef restock. Louise had watched Tina try to flirt with the butcher's apprentice for at least a few months now. It never got less painful, but she did start to desensitize to it after a while.

“You know Zeke, you’ve been looking extra beefy lately. Heh heh.” the eldest Belcher tried awkwardly.

“What’re talkin’ about T-Bird?” Zeke asked, Louise cackled internally as she watched Zeke lower his eyes and the corner of his mouth pull up.

Zeke was enjoying this. 

He definitely liked Tina.

He was teasing her.

When they get together Tina was going to make the man pay.

“I just think you look more muscular than before- AH! I mean not that you weren’t muscular before but uh just that you look like you’re- HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING OUT MORE LATELY?!” Tina somehow managed to shout in a monotone voice.

Louise groaned, watching her sister flirt felt like when you were watching a movie with your parents and a sex scene came on and you try desperately not to look at the screen despite how aware of the movie you are.

Zeke laughed, hand on his hips. As his laughter slowed his eyes landed on Louise, who was out of Tina’s eyeline. She put her hands together like two sock puppets kissing, smooching and puckering her lips in a display of “oh I’m well aware that you’re into my sister and now I’ll hold it over your head. Especially until you tell her.” that triggered the brunet to avert his eyes and bring his hand to the back of his neck. And making an excuse to leave abruptly.

The bell on the door rang as he left and Louise let out the laughter that she’d been holding in the whole hour-and-a-half that Zeke had been there.

“Louise! What did you do?!” Tina yelled at her in the familiar monotone-ly flustered voice.

“I got bored of you both trying to flirt with the other while you were oblivious to Zeke’s advances. That’s all.” the shorter woman shrugged, continuing to dry dishes fresh out of the dishwasher.

“Stop getting my hopes up Lou. it’s just humiliating.” Tina sighed.

“Oh I'm not getting your hopes up. That man has had a crush on you since you two were in eighth grade.” Louise punctuated with a loud clink of silverware as she dropped several spoons in the utensil drawer nearest to her.

“It’s not funny Louise! I knew he liked me back then but he got a girlfriend in high school and stopped flirting. It’s not like he’s going to focus on some girl from adolescence.” Her older sister 

Snapped. “As much as I wish it was sometimes, life is not like fanfiction.”

Louise tried to resist the headache she was getting from rolling her eyes.

“I’ll drop it, IF, you ask him on a date. I promise you that he will say yes.”

“Yeah, sure .”

“Done deal T!” Louise  said, shaking her hand and skipping out to Ocean avenue. An exasperated Tina trying to say something along the lines of “wait that’s not what I meant!”

Tina made Louise unbelievably frustrated sometimes, and not just because of her ‘older sister’ hobbies. It was because Tina was an absolutely wonderful person and ever since Tammy had made fun of her way back in 8th grade, Tina had been worried about being weird and fitting in with other people. Before all of that Tina had been Louise’s hero(not that she wasn’t because Louise ADORED her sister) because of how unapologetically herself she was. 

Louise shook her head, the telltale ring of the bell at the door snapping her back to attention and to the lunch rush.

“Hi, welcome to Bob’s Burgers! I’m Louise, how can I help you today?”

It had only been a few weeks since the emergency room visit and the Belchers had stopped fussing over Louise. Things were finally kind of back to normal, the only issue was Logan. 

Okay maybe that wasn’t entirely true, but still.

Logan had taken to getting lunch from the restaurant. Obviously Louise didn’t make a point to avoid him because it was literally her goddamn house, but the two of them refused to talk to each other. And by “the two of them” she just meant herself.

Logan had kept trying to talk to her or ask her about her visit to the emergency room. After a while of no answers from her, he’d opted to ask the rest of the Belcher family. That obviously didn’t work. Mostly because Linda and Gene were all TOO happy to have someone interested in their ramblings. 

So maybe the reason Louise left the restaurant this time was because Tina was getting on her nerves, or maybe it was because she didn’t like the uncomfortable feeling of Logan Bush in her space or maybe it was even because she was trying not to silently panic at her body literally doing something beyond it’s function and potentially endangering her life Or maybe even the fact that she didn’t hate her sister but something ugly would stir inside her whenever she saw her sister and Zeke because they both had marks and whether or not they match the other they were able to find their own happiness in it and maybe Louise felt like she was inadequate because she couldn’t find happiness within herself because she’d constantly worry about her lack of soulmark. 

But that was just a hunch at this junction.. 

So yeah, now it was time for her to go up to her room for her daily ‘sit in the darkness and try to overpower the thoughts in her head by listening to music while repeating songs until the serotonin is wrung out of it’ session.

After a few hours Louise found herself throwing a softball at the mini-toss back in the corner of her room. The faint smack of the neon leather and red stitching against her hand stung just enough to keep her from having too coherent a thought about the secondary medical mystery that had befallen her. The ball returned once more, before she went to throw it her eyes captured the landline extension her family had brought her after her diagnosis(despite the fact that she had her own cell phone at that point). That made her think of reaching out to someone. 

Someone, for Louise, was a rather vague thing. As it felt like her family knew damn near half of the Seymour’s bay area.

So as much as she hated to do it, she opened the contact app on her phone. 

What she needed was to hang out with someone that wasn’t super close to the rest of her family. Those close family friends were going to give her the same reaction and advice that they’d given her the first time around. Same advice her parents did. 

Well- except for Fischoeder. But Louise was pretty sure he was on shrooms, weed, or both at any time she interacted with him.

 So she opted to hang out with her own friends, because at least she could control who she saw. And what info got back to her parents.

The issue with that? 

All of Louise’s friends had left immediately after high school to go forward with their secondary education endeavors. Nothing against them, Louise was just a little shorthanded on friends. So It made the ‘get out of the house and have a human interaction’ idea a little more difficult.

It’d been years since she’d made an active attempt to find a contact in her phone. 

As she scrolled the names got less familiar and more acquainted. Contacts like “Violet-from that Art class project” and “Toby-physics Lab partner” and “Becky-the partner from those English slides in 10th grade” the kind of contacts you add to your phone to make other people feel better about themselves. The thought did hurt Louise as she wondered how many people pitied her and let her type in her number only to not use it after the project was done. 

She shook the thought from her head and continued the search, until her finger landed on Sasha(cha-ching $$$) . Louise laughed at the contact, but he had insisted.

She pressed into the contact and smiled at the picture for his contact. It was a semi-blurry selfie with Louise mid laughter and Sasha making a face of disgust, which wasn’t all that uncommon from him. She remembered the day she’d taken it.

The call button was pushed and the device began to dial up.

☆

Louise had quickly taken the picture when Sasha had tasted Cheez Whiz for the first time. Louise hated the stuff but Gene loved it and always made sure that there was some around the house(their mom also loved it but would eat every can so Gene would hide them in their room). While Louise and Sasha were up in her room Gene had come up to ask about something or other only for Sasha to ask “what the hell is that?” leading Gene to insist that Sasha try it. Sasha told them no ‘because I’d rather wear socks with my boat shoes.’ After an hour's worth of nagging from Gene(and a little from Louise) he tried a Ritz cracker and Cheez Whiz. There was a gagging in disgust and angry rich shouting at Gene.

☆

“Honey! It’s been too long Lou!” Louise heard from her phone.

“Hey Sash!”

“Thin Ice Belcher. Thin”

“Please I wore you down years ago!” She laughed.

“I know that’s right. Anyway, what’s the reason for the call Louie?”

☆

Louise remembered the first time she’d called Sasha. It was after Tina had graduated high school and Gene had started working more frequently. Louise missed having older people to hang out with. She was taking online pseo classes for her business degree and got particularly frustrated with an assignment. Because Seymour’s Bay was never quiet and all of her normal haunts were easy for people to find, Louise would occasionally take the ferry to Kingshead Island.

After the ferry ride she’d catch the trolley to the far side of the island where there was a beach that barely anyone used. A lot of the time she’d just sit there and take in the air, other times it was watercolors or sketching the seabirds and sea critters. It was during one of these times while she was cooling off she bumped into Sasha.

”Oh. Hey Belcher.” He responded as a statement rather than a greeting.

”Hey Sasha.”

After that Louise settled on her usual spot of the beach, after a while Sasha begrudgingly settled next to her, grumbling something about how this was normally his spot.

☆

Pulled back to the present Louise finally answered “I just had a really big development in my soulmark issues and I need to get out of the house and I know you’re really easy to hangout with and I’ve just needed someone other than family. Because whatever this new shit is, it’s going to kill me. Metaphorically and possibly physically. ”

”Sweetheart, take a breath. Geez!”

”Sorry Sash I-”

“Bunny, don't even worry about it! I know how you get after close incidents. Do you want to talk now or later.”

”Probably later Sasha, it’s just been awhile since I’ve talked to friends.”

”Don’t I know it! You only call when it’s important and I was working the frontdesk so I had the time to answer. what do you need?”

There was a long pause as Louise tried to think about what she should say next as she heard a “Wait- what the fuck. Louise, did you say that this new development could potentially kill you?!”

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes 

”Can you just talk to me?” her voice wavered.

”Of Course babe.” Louise heard Sasha’s normally cold-toned voice melt into something almost scared. Nothing ever prepared Louise for when Sasha was scared. It had only been a handful of times that she had seen him scared like that and the most recent had been when she’d ended up in the icu after her first episode.

It never got easier to see him that way and it sure as hell never got less terrifying. 

She shook her head as Sasha started to gossip to Louise, letting her zone out. 

☆

The two of them sat on the rock, both refusing to acknowledge the other. Sasha trying to draw something in the sand with a piece of driftwood while Louise closed her eyes and breathed.

“Fine Belcher, I’ll bite.” broke the silence as Sasha gave in. “Why are you here?” the older boy rolling his eyes and continuing his sand drawing.

Louise sighed. “Why do you care, Sasha, it’s not like you and I are friends or anything. Just leave me be and I’ll be out of your hair in like an hour.”

This statement was met with silence. 

“Now I’m intrigued, Belcher! Tell me the Hot Goss!” the overly exaggerated snark back in his voice.

Louise got up from the rock and knelt down to the water, her thumb, pointer, and middle finger digging into the wet sand. Pulling her hand back with the sand she started to let the sand loosely fall from her fingers. The clumps of sand forming a tower of sand.

“I’m not going to tell you something because you find it interesting. I’m not a source of entertainment. I’ll talk to you Sasha, but I want an actual person and not an overly antagonizing vineyard vines shaped nepo-baby.”

“What. A. Clap back sweetheart!” Sasha snapped back. “At least I have the courtesy to make eye contact when I insult people.”

Louise rolled her eyes and continued her sandcastle. Gathering a few rocks and stray shells to add as embellishments. The ocean-smoothed stones were smooth and solid in her palm.

After a few minutes Louise felt a warmth next to her as well as the subtle grinding crunch of sand displacing as Sasha kneeled next to her. 

“Is this a medieval or a stone keep castle?” he asked.

“I beg your finest pardon?” Louise asked.

“Is it like one big building or is it a building with a protective wall?”

“Why do you know that?”

“I’m a man of mystery.” he replied. 

And if Louise didn’t know any better, she would have thought that she saw the other try and blink tears from his eyes.

☆

“-so that when I told her that her lululemons WERE lemons. Anyway,” the blond scoffed,

“Does it ever get easier?” Louise asked, breaking her silence.

“I’m thinking no, but what are you asking about in this situation?” Sasha inquired.

“I know you got your soulmark later in life, but before, was it ever easier after a while?” Louise continued.

”Oh Hon, how bad is the ‘development’? And don’t think I won’t catch you dodging questions because I’m not letting go of the “could possibly kill you’ part of this.” Sasha’s tone was firm.

She tried to say something to respond “Well it’s not-” Louise hated the familiar weight in the back of her throat.
There was a sigh from the other side of the line “Louise, you haven’t contacted me in months, and I know when it happened because Jessica reached out a few months ago to say that your reaction to Dahlia getting married was weird. And now you’re calling me up in a panic because of an issue with something that sounds like it could be heavily related to the events that Jessica told me about. What. Is. Up.”

There was a long pause.

The thoughts in Louise’s head were trying to form a statement, something, anything , but she came up with nothing. All of her attempts being watery croaks or sobs. The long silence transmitted between the two devices grew as Louise tried to form words, and Sasha tried to let her.

Louise heard the other shift in whatever seat he was in and inhaled to speak “I’ll tell you what Lou, I’ll pick you up from the pier tomorrow and we can talk face to face.”

”Yeah that sounds-” she let out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. “That sounds good, Sash. Thank you.”

Louise heard a sad exhale on the other line. “Of course babe. Get some of your thoughts in order so we can talk this through. Love you.”

She smiled as she felt a happy laugh punched out of her. “Love you too Sash.”

─── ⊹⊱✧⊰⊹ ───

The canvas Baggiest Bag hung loosely around her shoulder as she felt the sun warm her limbs and body. 

Louise normally didn’t just sit around in the sun. Mostly because, as she’d aged, swimming became less and less appealing due to the chemicals used in pools and the overly salinized water of the ocean. The chemicals hurt her skin, while the water dried and itched her. So as much as she loved the water, Louise was avoidant of it because of her condition.

The only exception she’d make to the ‘no sand, no water’ rules was Sasha. 

Louise loved going fast and feeling the air tear through her hair, whipping it behind her and hitting her back. Fortunately, Sasha had the means to go well over 65 knots. Mostly because his dad had purchased a 2 million dollar speed boat a few years prior to Louise and Sasha becoming real friends. After his dad got bored of it, Sasha received the keys and full reign of the thing. That meant that Louise had the chance to go well over the set speed limits of the roads of Seymour’s Bay.

☆

The Duo looked back at the sandcastle they’d built. After some bickering Louise and Sasha had decided on a medieval style and had built it impressively high. 

“Well, I must be going to Belcher. The dad’s got an event happening at the Kingshead Yacht Club and he wants his ‘protege’ there for a proper introduction to the ‘life of a boatsman’.” Sasha announced, his voice picked up at the last part in a wholly sarcastic way.

“Oh so THAT’S why you’re out here. Daddy’s little stinker don’ wanna inherit the club?” Louise quipped, her tone mocking. Sasha went to answer but was cut off by Louise asking “Why? When we were younger you seemed to love boating and the water and stuff like that?”

Sasha scoffed. “Oh Hunny, don’t think that just because we built a sandcastle together that you can talk to yours’ like that.”

Louise rolled her eyes.

“Sweetie, I saw that. And just know I’m ONLY telling you this because no one would believe you if you tried to say something about it. ANYWAYS- ‘daddy’s’ hoping I’ll go into management so I can take over the number one reason that Seymour’s Bay seemingly never has panko. It’s one of those things where my granddad started the club and then wanted his little tike to have it and now they want me to have it.”

“That doesn’t seem very . . . Loathsome I think is the word I’d use.” Louise offered.

“In theory it’s not. I mean I do like the boats and the management stuff, But I’ve just never been interested in the tax code and financial literacy needed to run something like that.” Sasha shrugged.

“I guess I get that. For the longest time I’d always thought about inheriting Bob’s Burgers. After a while I really started to love school and I thought I might go into some sort of science field. Like Chemistry or aeronautics or something.”

Sasha nodded in understanding.

“I really like mechanics if I’m being honest.”

Louise didn’t think her eyes could get wider. 

Sasha, the prissy, preppy, snarky, country club goer was a fan of mechanics. Something that ruined your hair. Made you sweat. Got oil and grease and grime everywhere? There was no way.

“Bunny ears, I can hear you over thinking right now.”

“But-”

“I’ve been in the go-kart racing circuits; I’ve used boats since I could tie the knots keeping them to the docks. I like to know how all of that works. Mostly because if something happens to my GORGEOUS face, I want to know the system and moron responsible.” he shot back.

And Louise had to admit- it made a lot of sense.

She knows how that feels, being interested in something that so closely affects you because of its origins in your life. Louise knew how all of the cooking and prepping worked in the kitchen, but she’d started to gain an interest in Food Industry management. Not only because she wanted to help her parents with their financial struggles, but also so she can understand how to make her dads, and now her own, dreams succeed. 

“I understand you a lot more than you think I do Sasha. I hope your event goes well.” 

Sasha walked down the beach to where she assumed he’d anchored a boat, with a nod.

☆

A motorized sound and sloshing water alerted her to the presence of someone in front of her. As she looked up she noticed the brilliant blond hair that she remembered.

“SASHA!” She exclaimed.

“Hey Lou!” he returned.

Louise didn’t wait for the boat to get to her, she tossed her bag gently over the side of the boat, so it landed on one of the plush seats. Then stepping back to the other side of the dock to take a running start to jump the almost four feet between the boat and the wooden planks. She flew through the air as she made it to the side of the vessel. 

Sasha, who was entirely too used to Louise boarding the boat like that; something about the boat rocking too much and that Sasha didn’t quite have enough sea legs for the both of them; held his arms open for Louise as she landed chest to chest with him. Resulting in the two of them hugging snuggly.

“I missed you Sash.” She mumbled, her cheek smushed against the slightly taller man’s shoulder. The slightly rough other layer of the polo shirt he was wearing was familiar to Louise’s cheek.

“I missed you too Louie.” he replied, a happy lilt to his voice.

After leaving the marina and making it halfway to Kingshead Island Sasha stopped the boat. 

“So what’s up Louise.”

Louise slumped down in her cushy seat. “Do we have to ta-”

“YES.”

“FINE.” Louise exhaled.

 Louise took the sunglasses she was sporting, off. Turning to look directly into Sasha’s eyes.

There was a muffled ‘oh god’ from behind cupped hands. 

“My- uh.” she swallowed, trying to shove the heavy pain in the back of her throat out of the way “My eyes lost their color.”

“Do you think it’s-”

“I don’t know !” she said simply, “I just- . . . I don’t know Sasha.”

At that moment Louise was trying not to cry again, she knew how jarring it was to see her eyes looking at you and the color not being there. Life wasn’t in her eyes the way it was and it terrified her. Hell her own family couldn’t look at her without a slight wince to their face

“This just happened, Sasha, so I don’t think it has anything to do with Rudy. But all I know is that my body hasn’t done anything like this since my 18th birthday. I don’t know if this means that my soulmate is in my life or I’m going to meet them soon or something. It was triggered right after I found out that Rudy was getting married so maybe it’s a defense mechanism. I just don’t want to keep living scared of my own reflection.” She sighed. “The only thing that’s keeping me from going fucking insane is my rewatches of Megamind.”

“Girl, Megamind?” Sasha scoffed.

“I’m not getting into this again, Sash.”

“But out of ALL of the DreamWorks movies that’s the one-”

“Megamind is a fucking fantastic movie that has EVERYTHING in it!”

“Uh Legally Blonde.” Sasha retorted.

“Nope, I love Legally Blonde but I maintain my point of Megamind being the most trope diverse! It’s villain gets the girl, enemies to lovers, villain redemption. And the message of your origins and actions don’t control who you are as a person. Seriously man, goated movie.”

“Lou, we’ve had this conversation before. Also it takes place in fucking Michigan.”

“That’s the only Michigan I’d live in.”

“I know that’s right.” Sasha agreed. “But Legally Blonde has found family, smart blonde, girl power, lest we forget that Elle Woods does all of this in bright pink! She’s great!”

“Country club I never said that I didn’t like Legally Blonde. I’m just saying that when I’m sad I’m more of a Megamind rewatch. I mean it’s got the most random famous people in it. Like Will Farrell, Tina Fey, Brad Pitt, Eugene Simmons! It's so random.”

“Counterpoint. The Bend and Snap scene.”

“Megamind has so many good moments though, so I don’t- wait no I need to be talking about personal issues. Well not exclusively but you get it.”

It was Sasha’s turn to sigh. 

“Lou, I don’t really have anything to tell you. I mean I’m absolutely terrified about what happened to you but I don’t have anyways to solve this.”

“But what should I do about it?”

“The way that I’m looking at this Bunny, I don't think there is anything you can do. I yeah, taking your meds going to your checkups; but other than what you’re really doing right now I don’t know if there really is anything.”

“So I’m back to square one?”

“Seems like it, Sweetheart. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize Sasha, you’ve got nothing to apologize for.”

“Honey. I know I don’t have anything to apologize for. I just thought that it was maybe what you’d want to hear.” he said as the boat slowed.

“Why’d you think that?” Louise asked, curious of the blond’s reasoning.

“I just know that if I’d heard diagnoses and received get well cards for most of my life I’d want someone to say sorry. Not because they feel bad but because I’d be angry at the world and hearing an apology might be a welcome release. Not that the world needs to apologize for anything or anybody actually did anything wrong. Just like when you don’t hear a word from one place someone else can offer it up?”

That hit Louise like a brick as in it hit her in the head killing her instantly , it was true that no one had really said sorry, but that was mostly because of the fact that everyone around Louise knew that she’d make their life hell if they did. It was always “I'm sorry this happened to you!” or “I'm sorry that you’re going through this!” it was never “I’m sorry that you can’t control this.”, that “I’m sorry your body doesn’t listen.” rather it was an acknowledgement that what was happening to Louise was happening, but it was out of her control. It was an apology born of the absence of autonomy.

“Thanks Sasha, I think I really needed that.” Louise smiled.

“What would you do without me?” he laughed.

“I’d have a lot more speeding tickets, that’s for sure.” 

The sun was warm on her skin and the sea was cool on the breeze.