Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

February 5th marked Calvin Gabriel's birthday. It was basically any other birthday besides the fact he was now 16. He got the normal set of gifts, band tees, CDs, some new video games, DVDs, the usual stuff. However, what excited him most was his grandfathers gift. A beautiful shotgun that his grandfather had used to hunt.

"Now you be careful with that boy. I'm entrusting you with old Violet. Remember, she's an old but tough gal." Cal rolled his eyes playfully as his grandfather went on. He already knew all that. When he was younger, they would bond over his love and collection, he even took Cal out shooting. He was never allowed to shoot any of the bigger guns, especially those with a strong kickback. Instead, his grandfather opted for handguns, up until this day. Now with the gun passed down in his hands, the blonde teen could hardly contain his joy. His hands ran all over the gun as internally the excitement grew in him. He only put it down after he was called into the kitchen to cut the cake.

Around 6pm most people from the house had left. The energy in the house was low as his parents began cleaning up and the younger members of the family were rushed to bed. It was during this silence when he changed into one of his new band shirts and brought out Violet along with a bag of ammo and targets. He threw it all into the trunk of his grandfathers truck and hopped into the passenger seat, closing the door before he began to drive off. 

"Now are you sure you don't want me to stay there with you?" His grandfather asked, prompting Cal to chuckle. "I mean, god forbid somethings goes wrong and you end up injured or-"

"I'll be fine." His grandfather looks over to him. "I know how to shoot a gun. I learned it from the best." He gently touches the older male's hand, giving a reassuring smile. "Besides, I have your number incase I need to call and text. You still know how to use a phone, don't you?" He teased, causing his grandfather to grunt. "Alright. Well you better call me if something arises, ok?" Cal just nods in response, sighing as the truck finally parks. 

He hops out, opening the trunk, putting the gun on his back and grabbing the bag. He shuts the trunk after, walking up to the driver's window and giving his grandfather a hug before watching him drive off. He then walks into the open field, a table already set up for target practice. He sets down his bag, opening it and placing the old dirty stuffed animals that he packed on top of the table, spacing them out. Once he's satisfied with the layout he takes the gun off of his back, sitting down as he loads it up with some ammo. 

As the blonde was getting ready, the sounds of rotted branches being crushed get closer. One of the many noises made Cal jump, flipping his head around.

In the distance was a taller brunette, standing at 5'8. As he got closer more features became visible to cal. The slight acne on his face, his light muscles, and his tanned complexion. He towered over the blonde, before squatting down to his level. He was wearing a grey scale camouflaged pattern shirt, which was featured on his pants in army colors, and the dog tag loosely hanging around his neck. He tilted his head lightly, staring at Cal for a while before actually speaking.

"So you enjoy shooting, huh?" His light German accent was apparent as he spoke. A silence formed as Cal gulped, nodding. "I just got this gun for my birthday." He showed off the gun to the other male, who looked down at it, then back up at him. "Well happy birthday, have you ever shot a shotgun?" A shake of the head. "No. Just simple handguns." The brunette let some silence simmer between the two as he though. 

"Get up. I'll teach you."

On command the teen got up, holding onto the gun. He shivered slightly as the brunette began to move him around, pointing his body towards the targets. He then grabs Cal's hands lightly, posing them to grip the gun correctly. He lines up the shot, standing behind him after, leaving some space. "You know it'll have a strong kickback right?" Cal nods, "Good, don't let it knock you on your ass pretty boy." The blonde scoffs, rolling his eyes and gaining a slight blush on his cheeks as he rests his finger on the trigger. 

He stalls for a bit before pulling on it, his body kicking back a bit. In response the brunette grabs his shoulders, keeping him still. After a second Cal opened his eyes, staring at the destroyed stuffed animal.

"Did some pretty good damage for a newbie." 

"Uh, fuck you." Cal chuckles, looking back at him. Silence sits still between them, a gulp forming in the teens throat. "Uh, my names Cal. Calvin Gabriel."

"Andre Kriegman." The other male responds, moving away from the blonde. "So, how old are you now?"

"16." Cal responds, prompting Andre to lift his eyebrows up slightly, crossing his arms. "And you...?" Silence, then a chuckle. "21." 

The teen goes wide eyed, before laughing off his internal awkwardness. "Well you're basically ancient huh?" The older male lets out a stiff chuckle before shifting his weight onto one side, tapping his foot.

"It's getting dark earlier than usual, would you like a ride home?" 

"I don't know, you a serial killer or something?" Another stiff chuckle. "Do you want one or no?"

After some time Cal nods, starting to pack up. Andre grabs his bag for him, starting to walk ahead, which prompts Cal to rush after. Once he catches up he stares at the 2001 Toyota Corolla, putting his items in the trunk after it's opened up for him. He then heads to the passenger side while Andre closes the trunk. He then watches as the older male gets in the drivers side, telling him the address once he's situated. No time is wasted, and he starts immediately driving.

The car ride is filled with a thick silence that neither of the males break, with Andre staring intensify at the road, and Cal nervously kicking his feet. A sigh of relief slips out of the blonde as they finally park in his driveway. He gets out quickly, grabbing his items from the trunk, and stopping right by the driver's side window. He rubs the back of his neck, clearing his throat. "Thanks for the ride, Andre."

"No problem." Andre opens the glove box, scribbling down on a scrap piece of paper, handing it to Cal after, who stares at it. "It's my number, incase you need anything." He closes the glove box, putting on his sunglasses. "Just don't fucking spam call me, got it?"

Cal nods, simply giving a slight smile. "Noted...uh...I'll see you around..?" The brunette simply nods, backing up and driving away. He then walks up the stairs and into his room, setting the gun and bag in it's proper area, only turning around when there's a knock at the door. 

His younger brother stands in the door way, with a titled head. "Who was in our driveway?"

A pause.

"A friend, I suppose."

Chapter Text

It had been a week since the meeting with Andre.

His number sat right on Cal's dresser, collecting dust. Every so often the teen would stare at it, always looking away once the thought of calling crossed his mind. He had regularly visited the shooting range, yet never saw him. It had gotten to the point where even his brother stopped asking if the older male would come around again. 

It wasn't uncommon for the teen to self isolate. He hardly ever talked to his friends outside of school, only really hanging out bi-weekly. The only friend he actively went out of his way to talk to was a girl his age named Rachel Lurie. The two had been friends since middle school, and she's seen him through his worst. Pre transition, blood dripping from his arms, face red as tears scaled down, all of it. So it was impossible to keep Andre a secret.

"I mean, I guess that was nice of him. But don't you think it's a little weird?" Rachel looked at him as he sat across the lunch table, holding onto the hot pocket in his hand. "Think what is weird..?" He asked, looking up at her. "The fact he's 21 and gave you his number?" Cal shakes his head. "No. I mean he wasn't being weird with me. No like, stranger danger stuff." He chuckles, but Rachel keeps a serious face.

"I believe you Cal. And I trust you, but if you do seriously call that number just promise me you'll be safe ok? I'm a call away if you need an excuse to leave." She grabs onto his hands gently, tilting her head with that frown on her face. The one she always gets when she thinks that one of her friends is in serious trouble. In response Cal squeezes her hands, giving a reassuring smile. "I promise Rachel."

That night Cal would sit in bed, his entire family out at a restaurant. He willingly skipped even after his mom asked 12 different times if he was sure. Yet there he was, sobbing into his knees, upset that he missed out on another family inning. His phone lit up on the side of him with text messages from Rachel. 

'Hey Cal!'

'Saw your family went out..did you go with them?'

'Nvm saw the photo, you skipped again?'

'Well I'm free tonight, just hanging with some friends. I can come and pick you up if you'd like!'

'Love you Cal, give me a call.'

He glanced down at his phone, picking it up and reading through the messages. His hand hovered over the call button, before drifting down to the keyboard.

'Just needed some alone time. Love you Rachel.'

'Love you too Cal. Lets make plans to hang out at the mall soon. No stealing this time.'

He chuckled loosely to himself before returning to crying. It's funny, how he felt so lonely when he had basically everything in the moment. His eyes wandered over to his dresser, his body slowly following. He picked up the folded note, sitting back down as he opened it up. 

"It's my number, incase you need anything."

Cal takes a deep breath as he enters the number into his phone, pressing the call button and resting it up to his ear.

Ring

Ring

"Hello?"

"Hey it's Cal...from the shooting range."

"Nice to finally get a call from you." Andre groans, the sound of rain hitting his car coming through the phone.

"You're driving?" A chuckle. "Why wouldn't I be, nothing better to do. Real question is, what are you up to?"

"Oh not much. Just in bed, skipped out on a family event."

"So you're alone?" "Basically..I could use some company." 

There was a stiff silence between them, the sound of rain continuing as Andre clears his throat.

"Then why don't I come over for a bit? I could be of good company." Cal chuckles nervously, looking around. "I don't think my parents would be ok with some 21 year old in my room.."

"Well are you going to tell them?" "No but-" "Then they won't find out. What they don't know won't hurt them, right Cal?" He takes a minute to think, before speaking again.

"Fine. Just don't leave anything behind, ok?" "I'm not stupid. I'll be there in a few."

Andre hangs up before Cal can get another word in. He sighs nervously, getting up and changing out of his tear soaked shirt. He throws on a binder and a Stone Temple Pilots tee, cleaning up whatever he felt was unnecessary in his room. He was suddenly restless, overwhelmed with anxiety as his cleaning quickly turned into pacing. It only came to a halt when he heard a pretty loud knock at his door, his head perking up. He was frozen for a few seconds, the banging soon become repetitive and loud. Annoyed. Cal, in his desperate need to not disappoint Andre ran downstairs, opening up the door. He looked up to meet his gaze, he had a slightly pissed off look on his face. In his right hand he held a bag of fast food along with a duffle bag. He pushes himself past the teen, scoffing. "Are you going to lead me to your room?"

The blonde shakes his head, grounding himself before nodding. "Yeah, sorry." He rubs his arm nervously, walking up the stairs, the sound of Andre's boots slamming on each step as he follows. He opens up the door and sits on his bed, anxiety building up as the older male walks in. He takes off his boots, checking out his room. "You cleaned up for me I see. How nice." Cal awkwardly chuckled, looking down at his hands. Then Andre takes his spot on the bed next to Cal, putting his hand under his chin, moving his head up before removing it.

"You have a ton of posters. Movies and music." Cal nods, shifting his body to face Andre. "Yeah. I uh like treating my room like a decorative prison. That's basically what it is after all." Andre doesn't respond, instead his eyes wander over to Cal's cd and vinyl player. "You collect physical music too?" "Ha yeah. I have more cds than vinyls though. Less expensive, and takes up less space." The brunette gets up, going through his cd's, pulling one out, The Marshall Mathers LP by Eminem. "You're an Eminem fan?" "Yeah..but not the biggest. I like a few songs spread across his albums. So I just collect whatever albums have whatever songs I like." Andre nodded, inserting the cd into the player, skipping to track three, Stan.

"Did you know that he sampled Thank You by Dido for this song." Andre looks back. "That girl in the beginning. He brought her out live sometimes. There's recordings of it." The older male sat down next to him, resting his hand on Cal's thigh, causing the blonde to bite his lip. "Interesting, but I already knew that. Never listened to the song fully though." Cal smiled. "I have. She has a lovely voice, it's a pretty sweet song." 

They sat in silence as the song played out. Andre staring at Cal, and Cal trying to avoid his gaze. His hand rests under his chin as he forces his head back up, leaning close, their foreheads touching. The song continues to play, Andre humming along as his eyes scale over Cal's body. His eyes focusing on his arms, which makes Cal hide them. "You cut?" Cal hesitates. "Used to. I think it's been a month." Andre then moves away, grabbing the bag of fast food, handing it to the blonde, who cringed, and handed it back. "I'm full...sorry." He lied through his teeth, which Andre easily picked up on. However, the older male let it be, taking the bag back. "Then you can have it tomorrow." He sets it on the ground, listening to the song end. He gets up and takes out the cd, exchanging it for Core by Stone Temple Pilots. 

He let the first song, Dead and Bloated get a few seconds in, turning to see Cal hum along. "You know, it's pretty late for a student like yourself to be up." He sits back down, Cal rolling his eyes. "It'll be Saturday tomorrow. I'm allowed to-" He yawns, stretching his arms out. "-stay up." Andre stares, moving his arms around the teen, moving him down onto the bed. He watches as the younger male turns red, looking away. "Fine. I just need to take off something." Andre takes the note and turns around, staring at the wall until he gets a vocal cue from Cal, turning back around to face him. The blonde then turns off the lamp, leaving on a small night light that's plugged into a socket. 

He cuddles up into the blanket, turning away from Andre and laying on his side. "Goodnight Andre." The older male stares at the teen, listening to his breathing as it slows until it eventually turns into breathing with the occasional light snore. His hand moving up into the other's soft blonde hair. "Goodnight, Cal." 

But Andre got no sleep that night.

Chapter Text

The album kept playing in a loop as Andre just stared at Cal. It had only been a week since their first meeting, yet here he laid, in bed with the teenager. 

He would be lying if he said that the blonde didn't catch his eye. He normally didn't give others the time of day if they were just passers by. He hated making new friends or creating small talk. He hated most of humanity, viewing them as some type of nuisance. He had ever since high school, where his once social fun outlook on life began to distort into a mere tolerance. But something was different with Cal, painfully different.

One of the first things he noticed about the male was his short stature. Seeing as he was 5'8, he could only speculate that Cal was 5'3 without his boots that gave him a sad inch or two of height. He was also incredibly skinny. Definitely had an eating disorder of some kind with how frail he looked, anorexia perhaps? Andre was shocked that the kickback of the shotgun didn't take him out. Then there was that smile, That sweet smile. It intoxicated him a little when Cal would smile at him, following up with that chuckle. God, that chuckle. If Andre wasn't so stupid he could've sworn it came out of the mouth of an angel.

His thoughts were cut short as he groaned, feeling himself harden. He looked down to see the tent he formed inside his army pants, then looked back up at the resting Cal. The blonde was laid out elegantly, not moving an inch as his body upper body moved up and down with each breath. If Andre could have his way, he'd love to just take him right there and then. But it was too risky if he was to wake up, and he didn't want to take the chance of deflowering him like this, assuming he was a virgin. If he was willing to let a grown male, a stranger at that, into his room with nobody around, who was to say what else he'd let one do? But the likely hood of that was low. He was way too nervous when Andre managed to touch him, he didn't seem like the type to put it out.

But it didn't matter what Cal did or didn't do. Andre just needed a release.

He gently wrapped his hands around the smaller males waist, pulling him in close. The friction already made him let out a heavy sigh. Surely, even if Cal was awake, he wouldn't mind. he was practically asking for it anyways. It didn't take the older male long to start grinding against him. He rested his head into Cal's neck, putting extra attention into making his groans quiet, his breathing getting heavy. The blonde smelt lovely, it caught him a little off guard. Why was he even noticing that? His movements became rougher as his hand wrapped gently around Cal's neck. 

"Good boy." He let out, closing his eyes as he let himself enjoy the moment. "Just stay still. Just like that. You're behaving so well." Talking to the teen, like he could even hear or respond. "Yes, Lieutenant Kriegman." Is how he imagined he'd respond. "Anything for you." And even though it was all in his head, god did it drive Andre crazy. He only got rougher, tightening his grip and letting himself lose. Underneath his breath he swore, letting empty loving words out that shifted slowly into insults. It all muddled together, Andre whispered directly into his ear. 'You're such an angel Cal, my pretty little angel."

In his sleep the teen would whine, adjusting his body and pressing up against Andre further. With a few more rough thrusts Andre created a mess inside his boxers, taking a second to catch his breath before letting go of Cal. Normally he'd clean up after this, but he didn't know the layout of the house well enough to even entertain the idea. So he just laid, sitting in the silence with Cal's breathing and the music playing.

Creep. Andre's favorite song. He hummed along to it, turning Cal's head to face him. He really was a pretty boy. Andre could imagine corrupting him within his own hands. It would simply be easy to do. The teen was clearly wounded. All it would take is an older figure to turn him into a weapon. 

To, or to not, was the question?

Take time with a wounded hand

He leaned closer to Cal.

Cause it likes to heal

He connected his lips, violating his mouth with his own tongue. 

I like to steal

He pulls away, licking his lips.

Vanilla, how sweet, how innocent. 

I'm half the man I used to be

He once again pulled Cal close, resting his face into his neck. He didn't get any sleep. But he was content with watching the graceful movements of angels chest.

One he wished he could just tear apart.

Chapter Text

Around 11 pm Cal's head finally rose off of the pillow. His hand brushed against it. Damp from drool, gross. He strips the pillow case off, making a note to wash it as he tosses it with his dirty clothes. He then rubs his eyes carefully, looking around the room as he delays his entrance downstairs. 

The CD player had been stopped, but his entire room was still, as if Andre was never even there. Last night was so quick, and his parents were probably home, so no shock that Andre left as quick as he could. Even though the idea saddened the blonde a little, he was really starting to consider the brunette as a friend. Even if they only hung out twice so far.

As he began to drift off into his own thoughts, the scent of cooking eggs snapped him back into reality. He could really use his mother's cooking. The thought alone got him out of bed and to his closet, fishing for a shirt, and over to his dresser for some jeans, boxers, and of course, socks. He got himself dressed up, walking over to the mirror to pick himself apart.

The outfit he picked out today was simple, like all his outfits. A white band tee, hair tie on his wrist, plain blue cuffed jeans, and plain white socks. And to accessorize, he threw on a simple black belt as well as a necklace Rachel had gifted him years ago. He studied his outfit in the mirror, looking for anything to complain about on his body or his outfit. Something he could jokingly bring up and have someone comment on. 

Today?

No complaints.

He smiles in response, grabbing his phone and heading downstairs, ready to say hi to his family and eat. However, when he finally heads down, something is off. His family isn't home, and instead Andre is in the kitchen, hovering overtop the stove, fixing three egg sandwiches. Nervously, Cal takes his seat, staring at Andre's back. "Uh, good morning?" He scoots his chair in, nervously chuckling as his hands rest on the table.

"Took you long enough." Andre sighs out, his eyes fixated on the pan in front of him. "Your drink is already at the table. I'm cooking, if you can't tell." Cal looks in front of him, Diet Dr. Pepper, a favorite. He softly smiles as he opens it up, sipping slowly. "Your parents left a message on the home phone, by the way. They're staying at a family members house for a day or so." The sandwiches get plated, one for Cal, two for Andre, the German taking a seat next to the other. "Considering you have all of today for yourself, you got any plans?" The blonde takes a bite, shaking his head. "I never really do unless my friends invite me somewhere." 

There was a quick silence between the two of them as Andre thinks.

"Well, since you're free all day why don't we do some shooting? Might as well put that gun of yours to use." Calvin finishes up his food, sliding his plate to Andre as he stays silent, awkwardly turning his head away. "You're unsure huh?" Cal awkwardly nods as Andre gathers the dirty dishes, walking over to the sink. "Well, nobody will be home for a bit. And what's the point in owning a gun if you're not going to use it?" He grows quiet as he takes off his watch, turning on the water and soaping up a rag, his rough hands getting to work. "After we finish, we could stop by my house, show you around. If my roommate isn't home that is."

"You have a roommate?" The teen smirked. "How did you two meet?" He watched excitedly as Andre groaned, rinsing off his hands before wiping them down on his pants. He was silent for a moment after, clasping his hands together. "Family friends, somehow. Despite his parents being Italian immigrants and mine being German. I guess America really does bring people together." His eyes wander over to Cal, who chuckles. "My family lived here in Connecticut and his lived in Chicago. Then his family moved here his Sophmore year to combine our businesses." He then sits right next to Cal, running a hand through the blonde's soft hair, a slight smirk forming. "He used to bully me before we started working together, fun fact." His eyes focus on the other, watching as the teen's cheeks turn a light pink while a cheesy soft smile forms as well.

"Look at you, with your pretty boy looks and blonde hair." Andre smirks, leaning closer, and in response Calvin looks away. "Looking away from me? What you don't like the attention?" An awkward laugh. "You're just teasing me, Rachel does that too. You both make me want to dye my hair. Or go bald. Could you imagine me bald?" Andre shakes his head. "How about me?" The teen pauses, looking him up and down with a cheesy smile. "Maaayybbee in...hm...20 years." He snickers, then busting out laughing, in contrast to the German, who was still in the face. The quietness eventually caused Cal to quiet down and stare nervously. 

"You're a dick." The brunette finally lets out, chuckling lightly. He ruffles up the other's hair before standing up, grabbing his duffle bag and putting it over his shoulder. "Well, if you don't want to shoot your own gun, maybe I'll show you Sasha." Calvin tilts his head, prompting Andre to continue. "She's a 22m pistol, my sweet baby. She even has optics on her. Do you know what that is?" Head shake no. "Well, to put it simply, its a red dot in the middle of where you look into to get an idea of the aim. They enhance your ability to aim, essentially." As he talks he holds open the door for the teen, walking out after him and shutting the door.

"I just need to pick her up from my place." He pauses, unlocking his car doors and opening the drivers side, getting in. "So, I guess you get to see the inside. And my shitty roommate...either way that nosey fuck will poke his head around." Cal walks over to the passenger side, getting in his seat and buckling up. He flips down the mirror on the roof, fixing his hair. "Alright. I'm excited. I get to see inside your den." He smiles, jumping back as Andre slams the mirror back to the roof. "Just one thing you need to do, ok?" Their eyes connect as Cal opens his mouth. "Yeah, I mean I'll practically do anything you ask. Your house, your rules." 

Andre's brows furrow as he clears his throat, staring at Cal with a serious expression. "When you meet him, you're 18, ok? A senior in high school, but still 18."

A silence fills in between them. the teenager tilting his head. "Why? Will he get mad or something?" Andre stays quiet, moving back and putting his keys in. "No. But it's best we don't let anyone know your real age. People might get the wrong idea, fill your head with...weird...implications." He sighs, looking back over before putting on his shades, putting the car out of park. "Just, do as I say, ok Cal? Be a good boy." A chill gets sent up through the teens spine at the words good boy. Though he was sure Andre meant it in a normal way, he couldn't help to get some type of excitement out of the words that spilled out of his friend's mouth so carefully. "Alright. From here on out, Calvin Gabriel is a proud senior at Iroquois High School." He flashes Andre a toothy smile.

"Good. Nobody needs to know our little secret."

Andre pulls the car out of the driveway, making his way towards the house. Calvin decides to sort through his cds, shuffling through the cd folder and smiling as he makes his choice. Elliot Smith, Either/Or. 

The ride is silent besides the music. Andre stares straight ahead, Calvin outside the window, counting the signs with an occasional sigh. Then, his eyes focus on Andre, it's been over half an hour. And his mind can't help but wonder...

What is he to Andre?

Why did Andre pick him?

Does Andre liike him?

Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he does. Maybe Calvin will never know.

Maybe he likes it that way. Or maybe, it's best not knowing.

His eyes slowly wander back to the right side, staring at the mirror as he breaths in the lyrics.

I could be another fool

Or an exception to the rule

You tell me the morning after

Crooked spin can't come to rest

I'm damaged bad at best

She'll decide what she wants

I'll probably be the last to know