Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The death of Snoke and destruction of the First Order had been a defect task for the Resistance but after years of fighting it had been accomplished. However after the war was when things became complicated for the Resistance.

No one could truly object when Rey announced that she would finally take up Han Solo's offer to become part of the crew for the Millennium Falcon, she had been stranded for years on a desert island and had faced things that would have most people running in terror. Rey visited the base with Han And Chewie often and was always quick to convince the other two to do a mission for the General. Naturally she visited Finn while he trained under Luke to become a Jedi master, but those visits were more difficult for when it came time to leave no one could say goodbye.

Kylo Ren had turned to the light side during the war and had tried to kill Snoke only to need to be rescued by his former master. He had failed at killing Snoke but he had managed to weaken the First Order and for that the Resistance let him stay with them, the fact his mother was General may have influenced that outcome slightly.

During the war the best pilot in the galaxy and a former superior of the First Order became more than just interested in each other and mated before the final and most important battle of the war. Now that it was declared over the two were left trying to figure out what that meant for them.

General Organa was determined not to let the same thing that happened to the Empire repeat itself with the First Order and was determined to deal with the remains of the First Order before it could become a problem once more.

Poe kept busy with mostly recon of planets that were marked as suspicious but always felt guilty for leaving Ben behind for long periods of time. Though he had returned to the light it was hard for many to ignore what he had done in the past as Kylo Ren and few felt comfortable being around him, less were willing to go on any type of mission with him. It was difficult for them to see the great Kylo Ren as the omega Ben Solo.
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Stepping out of the humid bathroom clad only in a towel Ben made his way over to the dresser and frowned when he opened the drawer. "Poe, whats this?" The call brought said man into the room and he smiled when he saw his mate standing in their room; towel low on his hips, wet hair sticking to his face and neck.

The smile twisted into a grimace when he saw what he'd been called for "from where I'm standing it appears to be some sort of container people store clothing in." A glare was his reward for the observation and had it been used on any other person it might have made them pause. For Poe it was an invitation to move forward, "look I know that its a little messy but I think there is a type of organized chaos to it." "I'm glad to hear that's what this is and not you randomly shoving dirty clothes back in here instead of putting it in the-What's wrong?"

Poe had been slowly getting closer to him but had stopped and was staring at him, face twisted in confusion. After hearing his name called Poe took two long strides to stand next to him and bury his nose in the crook of his neck, "you smell different."

Poe took a deep breath and clasped his hands onto his shoulders to hold him steady. "Different. Like I'm about to go into heat?" Typically an omega would going into a four day heat every three or four months. Ben however had been shot up with heavy duty heat suppressants since joining the First Order and it left its scars on his system.

One of the scars was that his heats were sporadic and intense, his last one had only been a month ago but it wouldn't be unheard of for another to be close by. Another whiff and Poe shook his head and drew back, confusion still clear on his face. "No I don't think so, its different. Are you feeling alright? Like do you feel sick or tired?"

Ben relaxed when he said it wasn't another heat and shook his head before going back to the drawer, "I'm fine, it could be a different soap that you smell." Both knew that was unlikely but Poe decided to watch for any changes rather than start a fight over something that could be something small. The alpha watched as Ben pulled on his clothes and shoes before toweling off his hair once more before going to the mess hall.

As the days went by Ben's scent steadily changed, others at the base even began to notice it. It wasn't until Leia pulled him aside and asked if he was alright did he feel the pricks of irritation from the stares threaten to become something more.

That was why he was currently in the newly deserted gym struggling to catch his breath from a, what was to him, normal exercise. Letting out his breath slowly he straightened up and tried to do some stretching, a small voice in the back of his mind told him that the reason he was so tired wasn't because he had skipped stretching before launching into his normal routine.

A small twinge of pain in his lower stomach had him breathing hard again, "just normal omega stuff" he told the empty room. That had become his new mantra to repeat throughout the day; after all omegas did experience cravings, the urge to nest, fatigue, odd pressure and small pain in the lower stomach, and the urge to have their mate as close to them as possible was normal. It typically happened before a heat and maybe this was his body finally trying to get on track after such heavy suppressants for all those years.

It was a reason to explain the symptoms he had been noticing, the fact that his scent changed was just thrown in there as another side effect. He checked the clock and frowned at the time, it had only been 45 minutes and he was more exhausted than when he was done with a fight.

Poe's face popped into his head and he found himself walking toward the medical bay instead of his room. A quick look inside revealed an empty room with cots spread out and a door that lead to the more serious rooms of the labs, "Mr. Solo, what can I do for you today?" It was a droid working right now, CS-38 was one of the med-bots that handled the more minor injuries and sickness.

Ben entered the room and mentally steadied himself before saying, "I need some blood work done, compare it to my last test and tell me if there are any changes and what it means." Ben always found droids easier to order around then something more organic, except R2-D2 of course.

CS-38 quickly got ready and methodically drew blood until enough was taken, "wait here for the results." The male nodded and pulled down his sleeve over the new bandage, he stared at the door silently willing it to remain closed and jumped slightly when papers where handed to him and a monotone voice was telling him about an increase in something or another.

He looked down at the papers, not really knowing what he should be looking at when the word ultrasound drew him back to the droid. "Ultrasound?" The droid stopped talking before resuming, "an ultrasound or another similar procedure should be preformed to ensure the fetus is alive and healthy."

Ben felt detached from his body when the implications set in, "oh yeah, of course." He stood up, headed out the door and did end up and his room this time. Upon entering he noticed Poe sitting and watching some show he couldn't recognize, he saw how his body became tense at his smell and now he knew why.

"Hey." Came the lazy greeting and Poe turned back to flash him a smile only to stop when he saw his lovers peculiar expression. Or lack of expression would be better to say, Ben was looking at him the same way he looked at strangers, wary and ready to fight or run, and it was throwing him off.

"You ok?" He kept his voice soft so as not to startle the other as he slowly got up so he could fully face the other man and realized he had all but torn the papers in his hand from how hard his grip was.

"Ben, what are those?" At his question the hand was shot out and the papers were held in a loose grip. Poe felt his heart beat faster and some part of him told him this was bad and to do something because it wasn't his Ben looking at him with those dark eyes.

Squashing the thought he tugged the papers away and squinted at what was on it, "um, babe I hate to say it but I don't know where I'm supposed to be looking at." He flipped through the pages but it was filled with what looked liked analysis of different things, he brought the page closer and thought he saw the word vitamin in there.

"Ultrasound." Was his only answer but it was enough to get his brain going at light speed with everything someone could need an ultrasound for and he said the hardest one to face first, "a tumor?" For the first time since that morning Ben smiled, "I mean in a way it kind of is but I've always thought of it more like a parasite."

Parasite Poe stumbled on that word, Ben had said before that-

"A baby?" Ben nodded and was quickly crushed in a tight hug, "oh man we're going to be parents." Poes's voice was an excited whisper which struck Ben as funny considering the man was rarely quite. "looks that way." He slid his arms around the other and tried to think clearly.

"Your dad may actually kill me this time."

"I would be more afraid of Chewbacca."

Chapter Text

As per usual Poe Damerian did not go half way with something he cared about, after hearing from his mate that he was going to be a father it seemed to come up in almost every conversation he held. When that was brought up it was usually followed by asking the other person if they wanted to see a blurry picture of his child and he would talk about how hard that kids heartbeat was and about how amazing his Ben was for being able to do this.

Ben did his best to make the other male stop rambling about stuff people clearly didn’t want to hear and after a few well timed threats he did calm down. However if someone were to make any comment about children and Ben was not in view then that poor soul would be face to face with a very enthusiastic Poe.

It had become a somewhat taboo topic of conversation around the base, mostly because few knew how to react to it. Poe was everyone's friend; he was quick to joke around, a good shoulder to cry on and didn’t have a cruel bone in his body. He was sassy and mischievous of course but he could never be purposefully cruel to anyone.

While there was no doubt Poe adored his mate many who knew him felt he was being played by the other and that this child would only aid in crushing his heart when things ultimately went sour.

Poe however wasn’t the only one on base that was excited over the upcoming arrival, Leia had her own blurry picture of her future grandchild hidden away in her desk next to her bedside.

It had been odd and slightly annoying for Ben but in a way it was endearing that Poe was so happy about the whole thing, even if he did hover over him at almost all times. It wasn’t until the news that the Millennium Falcon was heading over to them that something in Ben told him that this visit wasn’t an unprompted one.

On the morning they were scheduled to arrive Ben decided to confront Poe about his recent nervous behavior when his father was brought up. “Why are you so worried about my father coming here? I know you’re not afraid of him, and Rey will be bringing BB-8 so you should be over at least two moons for that alone. Why are you so fearful?”

Beating around the bush when talking to Poe about a serious topic would only result in frustration, something he had learned long ago. Poe raised his hand, “First off I am in fact afraid of your father, and Chewbaca, but if it helps I’m scared of your mother most of all. Secondly I am so psyched to see my little buddy again, and it’d also be cool to see Rey again and see if she brought me any souvenirs.”

Ben scoffed at the other mans attempt to avoid conversation but did ultimately turn his attention to the more pressing issue of picking out his clothes with a boyfriend openly staring at him in some odd sort of expectation.

“Close your mouth before you drool on the floor.” Settling on a safe choice of dark clothes that were once loose on him, peeling off his shirt he went to grab the replacement laying on the bed only to find that it was in the clutches of a smirking alpha.

“Are we really playing this game right now?” His response was his shirt being hidden behind the others back and a sly grin, “I have no idea what your talking about but I’m always ready to play, darling.” The shirt seemed to struggle against his grip and knowing his grip would loosen before Ben’s he did the only thing he could and slid the shirt on himself.

Logically the omega could have ignored the jab and picked out another shirt from the dresser but that would mean stepping down from a challenge. So instead Ben walked up to his alpha and tugged at the offending article, “take it off.” His voice was deep in his chest and a small growl emitted when hands landed on his hips and teeth nipped at his neck. “Make me.”
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The Millennium Falcon arrived at the base earlier than expected and it had both Leia and Ben wondering if Han had once again misjudged the condition of the ship and was scrambling to the easiest place to repair it.

Perhaps unsurprisingly BB-8 was the first one off of the ship and beeped happily at their master, “I know buddy, I missed you too.” Poe rubbed the droid affectingly and couldn’t help but feel happy that BB-8 missed him just as much as he missed them.

When Rey had been getting ready to leave for the first time BB-8 was torn between the two, after a small breakdown occurred from trying to decide who to stay with an alternative was approached. The end result was what Poe affectingly referred to as ‘joint-custody’, BB-8 would spend time with one and then when Rey would drop by they would go with the other. It was not a perfect system but BB-8 seemed happy with it and it gave an excuse to get the crew over to the base.

Rey followed them out and smiled when she saw Ben, “Congratulations, I heard it about the news from Poe and I’m very happy for you both.” She looked him over, “I’m glad you're feeling better.” Poe winced at the comment and motioned for the other alpha, “hey why don’t you tell me where you guys have been over in the mess hall. I’m sure you must be starving by now and it’ll give the others some family time.”

Ben turned so fast to face them it almost made Poe dizzy and the glare he was leveling at him had his stomach drop down. Luckily before anything could be said or done to the pilot Chewie left the ship and after calling out, scooped Ben into a hug.

Poe trusted the Wookie would slow down his impending doom and that if he was going to go out that he should do it on a full stomach. He lead Rey to the mess hall gathered his food before moving to his spot, she followed suite and wasn’t hesitant to pile up her plate with all of the different foods available.

Han was the last to exit his beloved ship and took in the scene of his best friend practically carrying his only son while he pet his back. “I’m fine Uncle Chewie, really I promise that I am. I don’t know what you heard but it was obviously wrong so you can put me down now. Ok, Chew-Chew?”

The use of the long abandoned nickname is why Ben was able to put his feet on solid ground once more. It also hit Han hard in the heart, “been awhile since I heard that name.” It had been years since Ben had first called his adopted uncle that, no one knew how that was easier to say than Chewie but said Wookie loved the new name and had growled when people had tried to correct the child so it had stuck for quite awhile.

Han stepped closer and thought he could almost smell his sons scent now, something he also hadn’t been able to do for years. Part of a heat suppressants job was to try and change the omegas, or in some cases the betas, scent. After blocking his for so long it weakened his scent, this was useful when you didn’t want anyone to know you weren’t an alpha and had made tracking him hard if you relied on a humans scent.

That hadn’t been the only thing to change since the last time he saw his son. Poe had been right about one thing, Ben did look tired and the dark rings under his eyes weren’t the only sign.

Leia and Han were both alphas and when Leia had become pregnant, nothing had really changed for her except for her size. That might have been the reason they were and in some ways are still lost when it comes to their son who felt like the odd one out being so different from them.

“How you doin kiddo?” Dark eyes, ‘just like his mother’ he mused, glared at him. “Sorry I asked.” He noted he couldn’t quite look down at his own sons stomach to see if it had expanded yet and he pushed away any thoughts of why that might be away.

“What did Poe say to you guys? You drop everything to come over here and when you do you act like I’m dying. The way he skipped out of here tells me everything but the actual words.”

Han rubbed the back of his neck and decided that while he had nothing against the kid, alright maybe he had a little anger toward him but that was only fair, that there was no since they both go down.

“Well he told us all about what you guys found out, and boy can he talk an ear off. Then he said he was worried about your health, but it was minor first time parent stuff really.”

“Health? What did he say was wrong with me.” Han felt a shiver go up his spine at the tone ‘no this is Ben and it’s different’ he chastised his fear with this knowledge. “Said you’ve been tired lately and quite frankly, I believe him. Don’t get me wrong its not like I’m worried your about to bite the dust this very second, but overall you look pretty exhausted.”

Ben found he couldn’t hold his fathers gaze and looked down instead, “oh, well, thank you for telling me that.” Fatigue had gripped him hard the past few weeks and it seemed to have doubled down when the cause was of it was revealed. It was easy, just as it always was, to say it was just a common side effect.

Most if not all pregnancies included fatigue and it was easy to push away the knowledge books he had read before specifically about omega pregnancies that made it clear that the carriers mood and problems often affected overall health, and that as someone who had blocked heats with the chemicals he had would most likely result in a rocky pregnancy at best.

After being told that his father should probably make sure the Millennium Falcon was still running right, Ben got the hint and left for the mess hall. Once there he saw a clearly animate Poe talking with a wide smile while Rey merely nodded politely at times and kept eating.

Spotting him at the door she nudged Poe under the table and the man went silent. His smile was still there and his eyes brightened, “Ben there you are we were just talking about you.” Ben pulled up a seat beside Poe and stifled a smile when he saw how Rey seemed so interested in her food all the sudden.

“Of course you were. I’m also willing to go out on a limb and say you’ve already brought up the child, right?” Ben awkwardly placed his hand on his slightly distended stomach then felt silly in doing so. After all if the child wasn’t kicking yet why bother? His rhetorical question was answered when another hand joined his own and the smile that was currently being shown. Rey looked up at the scene and let out a small chuckle, in return Ben brought up a question he feared the reaction from.

“What if it’s twins?”

Chapter Text

If someone were to ask Ben what the most annoying habit his mate had, he would immediately say it was how the other talked about everything and often brought up embarrassing subjects without concern, but in reality it was the way he was an aggressive cuddler. As soon as they were both in bed, Poe would latch on to the other by holding him in a vice grip and entwining their legs.

Most of the time Ben didn’t mind and was rarely annoyed by it, however getting up at any point in the night was a challenge and typically resulted in a brief struggle. As the pregnancy progressed so did the trips to the bathroom and while annoying as it was it became frustrating when held hostage by the other.

“Poe, I know you’re awake so let me go.” Ben tried once more to wiggle out of the others grasp and received mumbling that sounded suspiciously like ‘no I’m not’. He outright groaned when Poe stuck his face in his shoulder and let out a deep breath, “you either let me go or I start biting.”

After hearing the threat the grip loosened slightly and Ben immediately fled to the bathroom. When he was done and re-entered the room he stifled a smile at how Poe had stretched out to encompass the whole bed, yet was still under the covers.

Walking past the bed with the intention of getting changed he heard a muffled voice, “come back to bed, it’s cold.” “Have you considered that you wouldn’t be cold if you wore more than boxers to bed every night. Besides It’s been 8 hours, that’s more than sleep for anybody.”

He was going to continue his path but was intercepted by BB-8 who let out a series of quite beeps, “BB-8 agrees with me, that's three against one.” A confused stare was aimed at the bundled man before he elaborated, “I’m willing to bet that the baby wants you to sleep and be happy, rather than what you usually do all day.”

Ben looked down at his growing stomach and awkwardly ran a hand over it, before looking back at the bed and BB-8 who was watching him expectantly. With a shrug he went back to the bed and nudged the other man so that he would be granted a small bit of space.

Dark eyes and a sleepy grin greeted him when he got situated under the covers, a sloppy kiss was bestowed before Poe drew the other close to him. Ben responded by wrapping his arms around the other in scooting in closer, the warmth surrounding him lulled him into a since of peace and something that he could only describe as contentment.

A strange almost flutter like movement in his stomach had him shifting slightly in order to stop it. He couldn’t say when he had first noticed it but after he had it seemed to become more prominent, though he wrote it off as his mind making a bigger deal out of it rather than it becoming more intense.

At first it had only occurred when he was relaxed like this but recently it was noticeable during the day and at times the night. Poe pressed in closer until they were completely flush against each other, or at least as close as they could be with a growing child between them.

A small chuckle sounded from the alpha as he moved a hand down to rest on the others stomach, the gesture caused a surge of annoyance to run through the other man. “What are you laughing at?”

The question was meant to be nonchalant but instead came out hostile, he was irritated at his current girth and the thought of the other finding amusement in it was beyond aggravating. “The fact that we’re going to be real deal parents in a few months and we haven’t even begun to prepare.”

Ben shrugged at the response, “we still have time before that becomes an issue.” Poe smiled at how his mate would always ignore any problems until it glared at him in the face, his smile dropped when he felt something lightly tap into his hand and he tensed up.

“Ben was that the baby?” His voice was oddly calm for what he just said and Ben blinked, “wait you felt that?” Another small tap had Poe sitting up and throwing back the blankets only to hesitate before setting his palm down again, “oh my galaxies the baby is kicking.”

When a faint tap was felt once more a wide smile broke out, “that was our baby.” His breath caught up in his throat and he looked back at Ben who appeared to be in deep thought. Rolling over on his back and propping up on a pillow, Ben lifted his shirt and pressed down where the last movement had taken place.

When a small movement was given in response he looked at the still grinning man, “I guess it was.” Poe made an odd noise in the back of his throat and laid his head on Ben’s stomach, giggling when movement was felt.Threading a hand through the others thick hair he smiled in return.

Awkwardly shifting his weight, he stood outside his mothers door before giving a quick knock. “Come in.” The reply was immediate and Ben mused his mother had known he was outside since he had arrived.

Entering the office he did a quick look around and confirmed that it was the same as when he had seen it last, everything in neat order except for her desk which was buried in paper work.

“Oh, Ben it’s good to see you. Is everything alright? Here sit down.” She rose when he entered and stopped herself from embracing him, Ben awkwardly sat down in the seat closest to him placed his hands on his legs.

He snuck a glance up to her and was met with a worried look underlined with love, forcing himself to un tense he leaned back in his chair. “So lately my stomach has been weird, it didn’t hurt or anything so I thought it was normal. I mean everything has been weird lately so I figured it was just another thing. That is until Poe felt it to, and since the baby is big enough that we can notice it we did.”

Ben felt like a child with his expatiation and wanted to groan, “You felt the baby kick?” Leia had a small smile and moved slightly closer, “would you mind if I?” Cheeks still warm he nodded and directed her hand to where the last movement had been felt.

“Kids going to be a hand full.” Leia chuckled when she thought of Ben’s earlier days and had a small hope that her grandchild would be less inclined to lift sweets out of the cabinet using the force before dinner.

Chapter Text

Throughout his life Poe had always horror stories from others talking about their pregnant mates, mostly it was said with love and underlying understanding. However there were cases when the mate or even just close friend, would speak in a low voice about what had happened to them and for most the fear was evident.

Ben had been acting differently since the pregnancy began, Poe noted that he was definitely more moody and his temper had surfaced more than once. Overall though Poe would say that it wasn’t bad and that he had gotten off lucky, after all this was considered a hard pregnancy because of the effects of the suppressants on his body.

When Poe walked into their small home he noticed immediately how quite it was, usually if Ben was home then there would be a soft drone of music or the T.V. and Poe didn’t need to ask why he didn’t like the silence.

“I’m home!” He knew the omega was in their bedroom, his scent gave him away, but he didn’t want to risk startling him if he was having an episode. “You can come in.” Relief washed over him when he heard a steady voice and he entered the room, but his greeting dropped when he saw what his mate was doing.

Shirt strewn on the floor Ben was intently inspecting his own reflection with a frown, he silently traced a now distorted scar and scratched absentmindedly at it. Turning slightly he could only think that he became round. Not just his stomach though that was the most noticeable but his chest had become softer and he had been gaining weight.

“I have so many veins.” A finger lazily followed a blue vein and Ben looked back at the other for a reply, “well you do have blood and veins usually come with that.” Shaking his head in irritation he tried again to explain, “no I mean it looks like there are more there than before.”

He didn’t know what he meant by before, he had never really given much thought about how his body looked much less how many veins decorated his torso at any point in his live except now.

Poe walked closer and stooped down to kiss the protruding bump, “babe I’m pretty sure most of those have always been there, although they do seem bluer if that's what you mean.” He stood up and placed a another kiss on his cheek before lightly stroking his arm, “what’s wrong?”

Ben tried to avoid the alphas gaze but somehow caught it anyway, “it doesn’t-” He sighed when the words fell away and swallowed, “It’s just weird, I know why I'm changing but everything still looks so different. It feels like I’m looking at someone else and not me.”

This had not been rare for Ben years ago but he had slight pride when that feeling became rarer. Poe thought about what to say while he wrapped him in arms, “It’s ok it’ll only be for a few more months. Then we’ll be able to meet our child and spoil them rotten.”

This caused a small chuckle to emit from the taller male, “no Poe, I keep telling you that I will not let our child be spoiled. At least not in the way I know you want to spoil them, and don’t give me that look you know exactly what I mean.”

Said pilot didn’t change from his ‘kicked puppy’ look, as Ben called it, “what's wrong with a little bit of spoiling if its done with love?” He finished off with a pout and this time Ben couldn't stop from laughing at his mate.

Standing on is tip-toes Poe gave him a quick peck on the lips earning him another chuckle, “I’m going to laugh so hard if our child is taller than you.” Poe frowned at the comment. "No, you are just unnaturally tall ok? I mean come on you’re practically part wookie.”

Ben laughed harder until he felt a firm jab below his ribs and he rubbed the spot, still chuckling softly. “Kid must not like when I laugh that hard.” Poe scoffed, “nah, their probably just trying to join in on the fun. Might be jealous no ones paying any attention to them, gotta keep in mind who the parents are.” As if to agree with the statement another jab was given and Ben wondered if the child would be anything like their alpha father.
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Hearing footsteps approach Ben once again tucked away into a convient doorway until he saw the persons retreating back, then calmly resumed his walk. After being heavily advised by every single medical personal in the base that strenuous activity should be given up until a further date, Ben instead began to walk the base daily.

Usually he could use the force and merely avoid places that had people, but recently he had a hard time being able to reach the force. ‘Like something was interfearing with his ability’ the thought had become a persistent one and while he wanted to merely shove it away by saying that his mind was preoccupied with other things he had his doubts.

Asking the General if she felt this disturbance during her pregnancy with him was the most logical option and he could get confirmation that it was normal, or at least normal for their family, but if it wasn’t then he would be forced to consider that it may be an outside influence.

He mused at the thought of an outsider clouding his mind, logically his past in the dark side would make him the first person to go after now that the war was over and if not him then the child he carried.

Coming to a stop in the hallway he rested a hand on his growing stomach and frowned when he felt movement beneath. He had been led astray from the light by a presence from the dark side from a young age and continued in it because he saw it as his only path.

Would his child be forced to go through the same thing?

What would he do if his child joined the dark side and truly belonged there?

Chirping broke him out of his thoughts and when BB-8 nudged into him, he realized that he had not only leaned up against wall but at some point had sunk to the floor. “Sorry about that, I got lost in my own thoughts and must’ve zoned out.”

He gave the droid an affectionate rub and took a deep breath, “Must have been gone longer than I thought if you decided to come look for me.” More chirps were given and Ben smiled, “you just got lonely and needed company?”

BB-8 chirped once more before scooting away from him, Ben stood up in response to the droid with his hand on the small of his back for support. “Starting to get a bit harder to do that. Alright time to start heading back then, I could use a nice shower.”

Chapter Text

During any pregnancy the bodies immune system is weakened, making it easier for an infection or sickness to take hold. Prenatal vitamins and a healthy diet where good starters to help fight off illness, but most expecting parents also had to make the conscious effort to avoid getting sick. Poe often tried to remind Ben of this whenever he noticed the omega had forgotten to take his vitamins and was generally ignored.

Sitting down next to a mound of blankets he pushed hair back from his flushed mates face. “Hey there gorgeous. How you doing?” A groan was his reply. Ben tucked his legs closer to his body, and opened a bleary eye to glare at his mate.

BB-8 was looking at the omega and looked up at the other before chirping quietly. “You might be right BB, that did sound like he wants to be taken care of.” An angry chirp followed that statement and Ben glared as hard as he could at the alpha, “don’t glare, you’re sick which means I have full reign right now. Now lets get you turned over on your back.”

A small growl was given when he started to position the pillows beneath him and Ben weakly pushed his hands away, “I can move by myself. I’m not an invalid.” Poe smiled at his stubborn mate as he moved to a reclining position on his back, and his eyes couldn't help but stray down to the heavily expanded stomach.

Resting a palm on it he blinked when he felt the flurry of movement beneath him, looking up at the other he was met by a challenging look. “Whoa, kids pretty active in there.” He gave a small chuckle and patted the spot lightly.

“So I’ve noticed.” As if to prove the statement a hard kick was aimed at Poe’s hand and Ben groaned before trying to squirm away from him. “Maybe the baby is just worried about you, or it might be uncomfortable in there.”

Ben's face morphed into one of disbelief and anger, “poor thing.” He let his head fall back onto the pillows and tried to move around once more in hopes of finding a comfortable position.

Poe got up and went to the bowl he had brought in earlier and pulled out a cloth. Once he strained it until it was only slightly damp he placed it on the others forehead, “can’t let that fever get any higher.” Ben flinched when the cool cloth was placed on his head, but when he looked up at him and saw the plain concern on the others face any complaint he had died on his lips.

A hand took his and was brought to a pair of lips, “try to get some sleep.” Giving a small nod he closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pounding pain in the back of his head. A small jab in his stomach made him flinch slightly and he patted the area where he felt it, Poe placed a small kiss next to his hand. “Let him sleep, sweetie.” Surprisingly the baby did stop moving around and Ben was able to drift off into sleep.

When he awoke he saw Poe entering the room holding a tray of soup and water, “brought some medicine for you, but you need to eat something first.” Ben made a face at the thought of eating anything but knew that food would ultimately help him get better.

However when the tray was placed on the desk beside him he couldn’t stop the look of disgust that appeared. Poe laughed at the reaction and sat next to him holding the soup in one hand and a spoon in the other, “say ahhh.”

A hand reached out to try and grab the spoon, “I can feed myself.” If someone where to only hear the statement then they would feel a shiver go down their spine, the naturally deep voice had dropped lower due to the sickness and had taken on a deep rumble making an overall intimidating sound.

Poe had to fight back a laugh at the stark difference between the harsh voice and flushed face with a hint of a pout it came from. “I know you can, but if you need a little help I’m here for you.” He helped the other into a sitting position and gave him the spoon.

Ben held the utensil in a shaking hand and tried to bring up a spoonful of broth to his mouth without spilling it. After the third unsuccessful try he put the spoon down, “I’m full.” Poe gave him an incredulous look, “are you sure? Because from where I’m sitting it doesn’t look like you actually ate anything.”

He was answered when the spoon began to rattle and lift out of the bowl slightly before dropping back down quickly. Deciding to hold off teasing the other for trying to force feed himself, Poe decided to take matters into his own hands.

Taking the spoon he cupped a hand underneath it and brought it up to the other man, “you need to eat, babe.” Refusing to look him in the eyes Ben grabbed the hand to keep it steady and finally began to eat the now luke-warm soup.

After half was gone, though Poe tried to coax him to eat more only to be rewarded with a small jab from the other, they then switched over to the water. After it was completed two pills were Ben’s reward as well as a kiss on the lips. “If you get sick because of that, then I’m not helping you.” Poe smiled and gave another, “it’d be worth it.”
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Poe gave a soft kiss to the hand he was holding, “you’re doing great Ben, just a little longer and we’ll finally be able to meet our baby.” He was met with a sad stare, “I’m sorry Poe.” People were talking around him, he thought he heard them say something about a tear and not being able to control the bleeding.

He looked over to ask what they were talking about but he only saw the blood slowly leaking out from between his mates legs. Ben gave his hand a squeeze to regain his attention, “don’t worry, you will find a new mate after me.”

A sad smile was given before his eyes closed and his body went slack, a heart monitor Poe hadn’t remembered being there before let out one last beat before drowning out the quite chatter with a monotone buzz.

Jerking awake Poe let out a shaky breath and forced himself to relax, ‘just a nightmare.’ He noticed immediately that he was the only one in bed and considering how the spot next him was cold, then he had been for at least a few minutes.

Swinging out of bed he couldn't stop the nightmare from plaguing his thought and he felt his pulse quicken. Blindly entering the kitchen/ makeshift living room he was greeted with a now concerned Ben and BB-8, who was next to him for company.

In front of the pregnant man sat crackers topped with peanut butter, berries of different kinds and honey. Next to that small array sat a large glass of orange juice and a lone bowl of green ice cream.

Ben rose to his feet when he saw his mates sweaty and disheveled appearance, “Poe are you alright? What happened?” Poe stared blankly at him for a few seconds before laughing, “you wait until I’m asleep to eat your cravings? I was beginning to think that maybe you just didn’t have them, like how you didn’t have morning sickness.”

He sat down at the table and briefly wondered where the omega hid the ice cream during the day when he grabbed it for closer inspection, trying a bite he thought it tasted like some type of tea he had tried before.

Ben felt his face heat up and he took his seat, “no I don’t wait, I just-. I get hungry during the night and this is a good snack.” A small smile arose, “cravings are completely normal and these seem pretty tame compared to others I’ve heard about. Unless of coarse you’re just trying to dial it back?”

He raised an eyebrow and tried one of the adorned crackers, he wrinkled his nose at all the competing flavors but decided that he had heard of much worse combinations so he should be thankful.

Giving a small smile Ben took the food away from him and took a bite, letting out a content hum of satisfaction at the taste. Taking another bite of the ice cream he waved at the bowl in question of where it would be placed in the concoction. Ben shook his head, “it helps with the heart burn.” Poe nodded at the explanation and the two ate in silence.

Chapter Text

Flipping through all the channels the base provided, though there weren't many, a second time proved to be as fun as it had been the first time. With a sigh it was turned off and Ben was left in silence.

Leaning his head on the back of the couch the thoughts that had been circling his mind presented themselves without pause, what had once been a nagging suspicion that something was going on had now become an absolute to Ben.

“Poe should know about this” Ben told the empty room, and when a small nudge prodded him he rested his hand on his stomach. If there was someone who could enter Ben’s mind then it would be natural to gather as many allies as he could in order to fight off whoever was pursuing him or his child.

What prevented him from doing just that was his doubt that he was making this all up in his head, that there was nothing to fear. Though he also knew that if it was just in his head that someone should be warned.

Groaning he ran a hand through his hair, “sitting here isn’t going to do anything.” He let his hand drop and thought about what he had said for a moment, “it really won’t.” Going back to his room he quickly changed into clothes better suited for an outing. After putting on his loosest jacket he frowned at the result in the mirror, it was fairly obvious he was with child and putting on any more layers would only limit his movement.

Opening the closet door he searched for a small box located in the back, holding it tightly he found his hand shaking slightly when he pulled out the object within. His lightsaber looked the same way it did the day he put it away, yet seemed heavier than when he had last held it.

People around him always grew nervous when they saw the infamous saber at his side, even Poe would act differently when it was in plain view. So he began keeping it in his room, after sleeping together the first time Poe had found the not so hidden weapon and after that Ben actually began to hide it.

Now he slid it carefully into his pocket, and after deciding that he couldn't be to careful he grabbed a small blaster as well. Before leaving their small home he wrote Poe a small note saying that he would be back and that he just needed some time to think, just in case he came back before him.

Finding a small ship that wouldn't be missed wasn’t hard and a quick check proved that everything was in order, so he prepared to leave. As he began his initial assent he felt a firm jab in his stomach and he took several deep breaths to try and calm down.

Poe was just telling his pilots to pull out, the recon had shown no trace of First Order influence, when BB-8 alerted him that he had a call incoming from headquarters. “Hold on a second guys, homes calling me.” He switched over, “This is Poe. How may I help you this fine day?”

“Poe.” General Leia’s voice was tired and worried, which had Poe’s heart drop to his stomach. “General what's going on?” Already beginning to set a course back to base he froze at what she said next, “it’s Ben. I thought I felt something wrong and when I went to your room I found a note for you. He left the base, I’ve already contacted the Millennial Falcon and they are headed his way. However from where you now are it would be quicker to go straight to him, or you can come back here and-”

“Send me the coordinates.” The general gave a small smile to the screen, inwardly happy that the man was so willing to jump headfirst into what might be a threat for her son. “Alright, be careful out there. Also you probably guessed this but from what I saw he has his lightsaber.”

Poe felt his breath catch but forced it out, “least he’s not unarmed then.” A short chuckle was his response and as soon as the map was sent his way he told the others that he was taking a slight detour and to head back to the base. Though they were confused the others did in fact listen to him and continued on while Poe went to the planet that the ship had been tracked to.

Ben continued his walk around small planet he had felt drawn to while flying and hoped it would bring him answers to what, if anything, was plaguing his mind. He heard, rather than felt, another person approach and activated his saber in response.

The figure that stepped out into the clearing appeared to be a normal bounty hunter, though the jet pack was an interesting touch to the apparel. Others came forward until they had formed a loose circle around him. Looking at how they were positioned and the way none of them were firing yet, Ben figured it was safe to assume that they were planning on capturing not killing him.

It was bounty hunter with the jet pack who shot first and aimed for the leg, which only confirmed Ben’s theory. After that the fight seemed to officially start and while Ben had been in this type of situation many times before, it was proving to be one of his more difficult fights.

For one thing his stomach was not only preventing any type of fluid movement but he also had to take care to not let it get hit by a blaster shot. While he had been concerned that he was having trouble reaching the force before, now it seemed to be harder to grasp than ever before.

He threw a person against a tree and cursed loudly when a shot hit his arm, he grabbed it and struggled to catch his breath. Feeling slightly light headed he forced himself to stand straight and continue fighting, he would rather die here in a fight then be captured by the dark side.

When Poe saw the planet he noticed the Millennial Falcon was not far behind them and wondered if Rey had felt something was going to happen ahead of time. He landed close to where the tracked ship was and ran over to it, not turning to see if the others were following.

When he got to the ship he saw immediately that it had been sabotaged and his blood ran cold with the implications it brought. Rey’s hand on his shoulder brought him back and he looked hopefully at her, she focused and nodded. “He’s here but not alone.”

She lead the way through the bramble followed closely by Poe, slightly further back was Han and Chewie carried BB-8. “Do you think he’s ok?” Poe asked, knowing that if he was badly hurt then she would be able to feel it.

Before she could answer a body slammed forcefully into a nearby tree and Han motioned at it, “I think he’s doing alright.” Resuming the run they found an obviously tired Ben holding his own against two bounty hunters.

One had taken to the sky to shoot from above but the other one was small and fast, darting around the omega to try an open up a good shot for the other. Chewie let out a loud cry and upon seeing the reinforcements the two made a strategic retreat. As soon as they left Ben finally realized how shaky his legs were and he sat down before he had a chance to fall.

Poe was beside him in a second, putting pressure onto the burn that Ben had honestly forgotten about, “Are you hurt anywhere else? Are you in pain?” Guilt emerged when he heard the fear in the others voice and he shook his head before placing a hand on his stomach absentmindedly.

Han replaced him on evaluating the injury and Poe felt his heart skip a beat as he shifted to kneel in front of the other, ”Is it-?” He swallowed to try and clear his throat, “Is it the baby? Are you in labor?” His voice cracked when he said the last part, both Han and Rey felt a jolt of fear at the possibility of the answer yes.

Everyone let out a breath when he shook his head and in a firm voice told him that his arm was the only repercussion of the fight. After some help standing up he did note that there was an odd tightness in his stomach that hadn’t been there before but that it wasn’t a problem.

A quick look at everyone's faces informed him that if he wanted to fly back to the base then he would need to make a good case for it now. “Your ship was sabotaged, they knew you were coming.” Rey beat him to the punch and he nodded, “I figured that might be the case.”

Poe’s face at the comment had him guessing that was not the way he should have put things. “You used yourself as bait?” Surprisingly it was his father that asked first and had the look of pure confusion at other people’s actions that only Han Solo could pull off.

“I didn’t know for sure, I just had a really strong suspicion.” At any other time Ben would have found it amusing that everyone was gaping at him like a fish, even BB-8 seemed to be staring at him in what he knew was confusion, but now it made him feel like a child that had just gotten back from a joyride in a ‘borrowed’ x-wing.

“But you’re really pregnant.” Rey was the first to speak and was the most confused out of the group, she looked up briefly at Han hoping he would have some sort of explanation.

“You used yourself as bait.” Confusion morphed into a look of exasperation as he came to terms that his pregnant son still had no common sense and was currently injured. “C’mon lets get you patched up, then you can explain whatever your plan was.”

Ben looked curiously at Poe who still had yet to say anything about this new information, and when he began following his father the other man merely followed behind him. Sitting down in the small first aid corner, Ben peeled off his jacket and began to inspect the burn.

“I can take the x-wing back to the base.” Poe gave a small smile at Rey's suggestion and encouraged a reluctant BB-8 to go with her to help navigate the ship. Once the Millennial Falcon began its course back to the base, Poe sat down heavily and started to dress the wound.

After he used a whole roll of gauze and began to unwrap another Ben decided to break the silence. “You’re going to use up all their supplies if you keep going like that.” He tried to lighten the mood but felt a prick of anger when the other still wouldn't look him in the eyes, “You may think what I did was stupid and maybe it was, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am still capable of fighting and just proved that to a group of bounty hunters.”

Cupping his hand underneath the alpha’s chin he raised his gaze to meet his and felt any anger he had flow away when he saw the look on the alpha, “I’m fine. The baby is fine.” He ran a thumb over the others cheek and waited for Poe to begin.

“I keep having these nightmares were you die. Sometimes its because of complications with labor, other times its a random attack. In some dreams I can hear our child crying and I know that I’ll have to raise them without you and other times, I- I'm alone.”

Poe felt tears escape and he grabbed the hand as if it were a life line, “Ben, the thought of losing you forever terrifies me and when the general called I was so scared I had.”

Having no words that could calm him down, Ben instead wrapped the other into a tight hug. “I’m here with you, everything is ok.” He rubbed the mans back and murmured reassurances until he calmed down.

Pulling away he wiping his eyes and let out a choked chuckle, “so that’s what's new with me. What’s new with you?” Ben tried to think of a way to say what had been plaguing him and he cleared his throat, “I think-. I think there’s someone after me, and I don’t just mean any mercenary that wants the price I have on my head. I mean I think there is someone actually planning something big.”

Poe pursed his lips, “have you spoken with the general about this?” Shaking his head he felt his cheeks color because of this whole thing. “Do you have any idea who it might be? Are they First Order sympathizers or a new group?”

Ben bit the inside of his cheek and shook his head once again, “no and I don’t know. Poe I don’t even if they are, it could be completely normal to feel distanced from the force right now. I don’t know.”

Poe’s eyebrows shot up when he heard the other was having a hard time grasping the force and he nodded, “well it's better to be safe than sorry. We’ll tell the others and see if they’ve heard anything.”

Ben nodded and while it filled him with joy that his mate was quick to believe him, he himself was having a hard time doing just that. When they landed Han looked at his son before giving him a quick smile and exiting the ship, Chewie followed only after reinsurance from Ben that he would be fine and that he would join them soon.

Poe gave his hand a soft squeeze, wordlessly asking if he was ready to face the world again, standing in response he didn’t let go of the hand. While the pilot did love all forms of physical contact when it came to his mate, he understood that the other male didn’t handle any form physical affection well if there were others around.

Even as they exited the ship their hands were still connected and Poe felt guilt settle into his stomach, he had been so worried about what his nightmares might mean that he had overlooked how Ben was handling everything.

Stepping out of the ship they were met with a sudden hushed silence and Leia stepped forward, Ben slipped his hand away from the others at this. “So I hear one of my ships was destroyed.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and was relieved when he frowned, ‘not pouted, I don’t pout mom’, at her. “It’s hardly destroyed, one of your mechanics should be able to fix it. If not then you might want to look into that.”

Standing in font of him he instinctively bent down slightly, and he had to bend down further when she wrapped her arms around him. “Yeah, well don’t do that again. Wouldn't want anything to get damaged to badly.”

Ben found himself burying his face in her neck and tightening his grip, “yeah that’d be terrible.” A weight Poe didn’t know he was carrying seemed to lift while he watched the scene and a hand on his back reminded him that they weren’t alone in this.

Chapter Text

Being able to watch his mate sleep was a rare opportunity for Poe, mostly because the omega was such a light sleeper. Usually any type of movement awoke him and, despite both BB-8 and Poe trying their best to be quite, when it was time to go to the ships in the morning Ben often woke and got ready with them.

A soft beep sounded and he twitched his foot to show the droid that he knew he would be late if he didn’t start to hurry now. Looking at the sleeping male he decided it wouldn't be so bad to be a little late.

He ran a finger over a small mole on Ben’s shoulder and traced it to another on his back, making sure to go over a small scar located between them lightly. Ben would never understand why he took so much joy in doing such a mundane thing, and truth be told it always made him feel self conscious when Poe would look at him so closely.

Moving his hand he stroked his cheek lightly and smiled, even with a scar running across it his face was still the most beautiful in the whole galaxy. Poe frowned when he looked at the dark circles under his lovers eyes, after their talk he had begun to watch the other closer and hated how he saw the other couldn't find sleep.

A small grunt sounded and Ben blearily blinked at his smiling male, “good morning sleepyhead.” Noticing how light it was in the room he started to sit up but stopped and laid a hand on his stomach.

This got Poe bolting up, a panicked look on his face and when he opened his mouth to ask what had happened Ben raised a hand to stop him. “I’m fine, just a little sore and I tried to get up to quickly. That’s all, now go to work.”

He repositioned himself before trying to get up and went slower this time, Poe kept a hand on his back in case he needed extra support. Swatting the hand away he looked at the clock before giving the pilot a hard stare, “you would rather get yelled out or potentially grounded, just to sleep in.”

Poe smirked and kissed him on the cheek before standing, “I woke up late and decided that if I was going to get in trouble for it that I might as well make it worth it. You ok with eggs for breakfast?”

His saunter to the kitchen was stopped when he felt a tug on his shirt, turning around he saw the taller man was now standing with a hand lazily outstretched. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Poe made a wounded face and placed a hand over his heart, “I am not. You just cheat using the force.” A glare was his response and after briefly weighing his options he went with the truth, or at least part of it.

“I wanted to watch you sleep. Don’t look at me like that, you have a really cute sleeping face and you should not hold that against me.” Ben stared at him for a second before giving a small smile, “I’ll try not to. Oh, and let the record show that I don’t need to use the force to know when you’re lying.”

He walked past the other and started some scrambled eggs, waving the other away when he tried to take over. “I like my eggs scrambled, not burnt. Why don’t you set the table and make some toast?”

Poe gave the man a quick pinch on the butt and started on the toast. He had barely put the plates and silverware down when Ben scooped the eggs onto the plates, putting the pan away to clean at another time, he sat down and started eating.

Pointing a fork at the other plate he gave the man a pointed look, “eat quickly and go get ready. You can tell the chief that I was having false contractions, no one will ask anything else after that.”

Poe was going to tease him for helping him be lazy but a chirp at his side had him stuffing his mouth instead, he thanked the other and was met with a repulsed look. He laughed at it but choked slightly and washed it away with some juice, he started laughing again when he saw the look had intensified.

“I hate to break it to you but babies are really gross. I mean don't get me wrong their adorable and love literally everything, but they do really gross things literally all the time.”

“They have an excuse.” Poe laughed and gave a final kiss before getting ready, as he was leaving he called over his shoulder when he’d be able to escape and to call him if something happens.

Ben could hear his footsteps retreating as he ran to the hanger with BB-8 trying to keep up and sighed, they might not be doing any missions today but that doesn’t mean he could practically skip his responsibilities.

‘He’s worried about me’, the thought had him running a hand over his stomach and glancing down when a hard jab was given to his hand. He isn’t always easy to read. You’ve used the force against him before.

Ben frowned and tried to shoo away the small voice in the back of his head but it persisted. You tortured him. Squeezing his eyes shut he couldn't stop the memory of  the day they had first met, what he had done to him.

“That was different. I’m different.” Speaking the words out loud only reminded Ben that he was alone, and that the only one who would ever hear this voice would be him.

Taking a deep breath he tried to control his trembling and realized that at some point he had stood up and gone to the drawer. Running a hand over his face he took another breath before leaving his quarters.

Walking through the halls lead him past a small group of people, when they saw him they immediately began speaking in softer tones and not a single one looked at him.

They are all terrified of you. Why wouldn't they be? You’ve killed their friends, their family and have done nothing that would help ease the pain you have caused. He stopped infront of his mothers door but instead of knocking he stared at, he knew how much pain he’s caused her.

She is still in pain. Her face when he told her why he had left the base days before flashed before him, and even before that he knew she worried about him. Was always worried about him, always loved him no matter what he did.

Knocking he was answered by C-3PO, “Oh master Ben, how good it is to see you again. My you have gotten much bigger.” He placed his hand on his stomach at the droids statement, he knew that no harm was meant but it still caught him off guard. “Is the General available?”

“Apologies, she left earlier for a meeting. Would you like me to try and reach her?” Shaking his head he felt an odd sense of relief that he wouldn't have to try and explain to his mother that the voice was back again.

Saying goodbye to the droid he figured that his father or Rey would be next to visit, they had decided to set up camp at the base until things calmed down. Which one do you seek? The one you betrayed and stabbed or the one you tried to destroy?

He raised a hand to the cheek his father had caressed before falling, and remembered the look of pain in the older mans eyes caused not just by the weapon. You found it easy to do.

Nausea settled into his stomach but he forced himself to continue. Even Chewbacca lost hope for you. Immediately his hand went to the blaster scar that the wookie had left, he never once thought badly about the wookie for shooting him before.

He knew the truth. That Ben Solo, the only one who saw him as Chew-Chew before anything else, was dead. Brief flashes of a young him using Chewie’s hair as a climbing rope passed through his head.

Shaking his head did nothing to clear it and he forced air through his lungs. Looking around he realized that he was now closer to his own quarters and couldn't find the strength to turn around.

“I shouldn't be alone” his voice was choked and he tried to think of anything other than the pain he’s caused others. He had crossed sabers with Rey more times than he would care to count, and each time he tried harder to kill her.

Yes you should. Alone you can hurt no one, you can ease the pain and fear you cause them. He was back in the kitchen and he had grabbed the knife before he had a chance to think about it.

They play along with you, hoping that if they do you won’t kill more of the ones they actually love. Poe mated with you so that no one else would be forced to, and he plays his part well. The couch was the first thing to be targeted by the knife and the closest chair was the first thing to be destroyed.

BB-8 was the first one to see the general briskly marching over and talk briefly to the chief before he beckoned to Poe. Running over he was given a small pat on the back before being left alone with the general, “is it about Ben?”

She frowned at how he didn’t bother to try and lower his voice but nodded, leading him back to his room after firmly telling him not to make a scene. Han, Rey, and Chewie were waiting for them in front of the door, “he stopped throwing things, but he still won’t respond.”

Poe stood before the locked door, “Ben it’s me. Can you open the door?” A reply was not expected so when it wasn't given no one reacted. “Go ahead and override it.” Leia placed a hand on his shoulder, “whatever happened won’t be pretty. You don’t have to do this.”

Patting the hand he smiled, “I’m not going to leave him alone when he needs me.” BB-8 overode the lock easily and stayed slightly behind Poe as he entered, the others stayed out in the hall but were more than ready to get involved if needed.

Forcing himself to swallow he put his hands in front of him and slowly walked toward the omega. A cursory glance showed that he was uninjured but armed with a knife and staring at his lightsaber that sat in front of him.

“Ben, it’s me Poe. Can you hear me?” Keeping his voice low he kneeled a little away from the crouching man, who flinched when he came into view. Ben buried his face in his hands with the knife still present and Poe felt his pulse quicken but noted that blood wasn't pooling out so he wasn't injured.

Scooting closer he tried again, “Ben, I don’t know what happened, but I do know that everything is going to be alright. I’m right here for you.” Gathering his courage he gently pried away the knife and slid it away, but he couldn’t bring himself to touch the saber.

The other began shaking and he took this as a sign to pull him into a hug, he felt the other go slack and he briefly wondered if it would be easier to support the weight laying down.

“It’s ok Ben, just breathe ok. In and out, nice and easy.” He took a few deep breaths and when the other copied him he began to slowly rub his back, “there we are.” Kissing the top of his head he continued to rub the others back, not bothering to check if the others were still there.

When the trembling became less intense he pulled the other back to look at his face and wipe away the tears flowing down it. “I love you.” Ben drew in a shaky breath and forced himself to nod, “I know.”

They stayed like that until Ben felt calm enough to look at the damage he caused, “I should invest in insurance.” Poe looked around as well before shrugging, “well we have been putting off moving to a bigger place for awhile.”

Chapter Text

Ben let out a groan as he sat down on their new couch and stretched out his legs, the others had just left and the soreness was setting in. After Ben destroyed their old home the general was gracious enough to ready their new quarters quickly, this one with more rooms.

Everyone had come to held them move what furniture had survived, which was mostly just things from the bedroom, and what the base had in stock for new quarters. Poe finished saying goodbye to Rey and walked to the side of the couch that the omega's feet were resting on.

Holding them up he sat down then let them rest on his lap, “how do you feel?” The pregnant man may not have been allowed to do any heavy lifting but he adamantly refused to do nothing at all.

“Sore and bloated.” Poe tried not to smile at the point blank reply and instead began to rub one of the feet on his lap. Almost immediately Ben arched up and let out a light moan, cutting it off he threw the other a questioning look. “I don’t think I’ll be able to return any favors tonight.”

The rubbing resumed and he felt his muscles relax, “I can try though.” Poe smiled at his mates content expression and worked on the other foot, “as tempting as that offer is, I can wait until we’re both up for it.”

Dark eyes questioned him until his hand moved up to his calf to work out the stress there, then he let his head roll back and let out small noises of satisfaction. “So what’s been going on lately?”

He didn’t need to ask for elaboration, he knew Poe wanted to know what triggered this latest episode but was waiting until he was sure things were calm in his head. “So this is bribery then?”

Ben had a small thought to move his legs but decided that maybe he’d buy into this time. “Remember when I told you about that voice I used to hear back when I was a kid? The one that stopped when I joined the First Order, though that might be because Snoke was in my head the majority time and not because it actually stopped.”

He was staring at the ceiling but when the hands froze he knew that Poe knew exactly what he was talking about. “It’s back.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement that the alpha said in the small hope that it would be false.

Ben nodded, “yeah, it came back with a passion. I used to think that it was Snoke but now I guess it’s something else.” Sitting up slightly his heart dropped when he saw the concern on the other mans face, and he wondered if he should have just lied about what the cause had been to spare his mate the trouble and pain.

Poe met his gaze with a look of determination, “we’ll figure this out, the episodes have been more spread out so that's a good sign and recently you've been under a lot of stress. Everything is going to work out for us.”

Ben felt his throat close up at the soothing words and wiped a hand over his face before giving a nod, not trusting himself to speak just yet. He hated the way his alpha looked so tired and worried , and it wasn't any type of mystery as to what was weighing so heavily on his mind. A kick to his side had him rubbing his stomach soothingly, and when he saw the other looking at the scene with a small smile he came up with an idea to cheer Poe up.

Positioning himself so that he was laying down as much as comfortable without it being to uncomfortable, he knew the other must be giving him an odd look and he motioned for him to sit beside him. Poe was confused but did get up from the couch and sat next to him on the floor, BB-8 rolled next to him curious as to what was happening.

Ben looked between the two and felt that maybe he shouldn’t have made it such a big deal, he looked away from them and rolled up his shirt so that his stomach was in plain view. Being on his back was an unpleasant experience nowadays so naturally he avoided doing it, however viewing his naked stomach from this position was definitely a new experience

Instantly the pilot’s eyes brightened and Ben took that as the invitation to press down firmly on the side of his stomach, he didn’t have to wait long until he both felt and saw the child nudge the spot. Poe blinked and turned his head slightly to face him but couldn't tear away his eyes, “was that our baby’s foot?”

His voice was soft and held a mixture of awe and pride, and Ben found himself smiling. “Or a foot, you never know.” Poe broke out into a grin at this and turned his attention back to the exposed flesh and pressed lightly close to where the movement had been seen.

“You can press harder than that, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to tell when it gets to rough for the kid in there.” He watched in amusement as his mate pressed slightly harder and how he giggled when he saw the child respond.

Giving the spot a kiss he leaned in close, “this is amazing.” Ben squirmed when the child began moving, as they always did, when their father spoke that close to them. Seeing the others reaction Poe smiled, “and your mommy is so amazing for doing all this just for you.”

He stopped moving, even though the child was now wiggling happily around in his stomach. He hadn’t really thought about what the child would call him after it was born yet.

Usually the parents would decide if they would if they wanted to be called mother or father based on what they felt comfortable being referred to as. It was common for parents to create their own names for their children to call them, the most popular being ‘mada’.

Poe was looking at him again, though now his head was laying on the distended stomach. “Is mommy ok little Poe Jr.” Dark eyes glared at him, “no. I veto that name and any names like it.” The responding laugh had the baby squirming again and Ben knew that their child would take after the alpha more than anything.

Chapter Text

Even, warm breath tickled the crook of Ben’s neck and he felt strong arms unconsciously tighten around him. Do you truly believe that you can raise a child? That the child will do anything other than resent you for what you’ve done? For who you are?

He buried his face in the mans hair and drew in a shaky breath of his alpha's scent. What do you have to offer to a young and impressionable mind? Do you have anything other than anger and hatred? You have no love in your heart to give, and the child will know it.

It was harder to draw in a breath this time and he swallowed hard before giving the sleeping man a light shake. “Poe, you awake?” The question was asked softly and his response was the other tightening his grip and giving an incoherent mumble.

You only drag others down to your level. You force his attention to only be on you, and blind him from seeing how unsatisfied he truly is. He could have the life he’s always dreamed of, the life he deserves, if only you weren’t in it.

Guilt crept in his stomach for trying to wake the other up with something he knew would only upset him and resolved not to disturb him again. BB-8 awoke with the feeble attempt to wake up the sleeping alpha, and after seeing how quickly he gave up, began to emit a low buzzing.

Ben sat up just enough so the droid could see him shake his head, but was ignored and the buzzing grew louder causing Poe to stir and groan at the alarm that usually signaled work.

A small chirp had him checking the time and seeing how early it is he fell back into the pillows, his mind was working slowly and it took him a few moments to think of why BB-8 woke him up so early.

Even though the room was cast in darkness and he couldn’t see the others face, he knew the other was awake by his breathing and was probably the reason he was awoken.

“Ben, what's wrong?” His stomach dropped with the first thought popped into his head, “are you in pain? Oh force, is the baby coming?” Sitting up he felt his heart beating faster at the thought, it was still to early for the baby to be born and if it happened now then it would be bad for everyone.

Ben felt how tense the other became and put a hand on his shoulder, “relax, it’s nothing that dramatic.” Poe exhaled a breath he didn’t know he'd been holding and ran a hand through his mates messy locks to try and calm himself down, “nightmare?”

Nightmares were something that had always plagued the omega and Poe knew it took an especially brutal one for the other to confide in him. Ben shook his head and found himself growing lax with the soothing strokes.

 “Would it really be that bad if I died in childbirth?”  Poe froze and it became silent for a moment, then rustling was heard before the desk-light was slammed on and Poe was turning to face the pregnant man. “What?”

Ben opened his eyes when the light flooded in but didn’t look at the other when question was asked. He had known the other wouldn't react well but the more he thought about it the less it seemed like a terrible way to go.

“If I die during childbirth, and don’t say anything because you know it’s a possibility, then you still won’t be alone. I mean Finn and Luke are already talking about visiting, and I know for a fact that Rey and everybody else would do everything they could to help you raise our child. It wouldn’t be hard for you to find a new mate, though you may have to lie about who I was at the beginning of the relationship just in case, and even with a child you’re still a good catch that anyone would throw themselves on. Then the others parents wouldn't be scared of our child because they would only know you and the new mate and I'd be a nasty rumor. You’ll be able to have that big family you’ve always wanted with your new mate and when our child starts asking questions then it’ll be easier to explain. You can just say I did bad things but my last act was to bring something good to the world.”

He felt slightly out of breath when he finished and his gaze had never ventured from its spot watching the wall past him. When he heard a sniffle he looked up to see the pilot blinking back tears and shaking his head.

“What? God Ben I wouldn't- I can’t-. What the hell?” His voice shook with emotion and Ben slowly sat up to face his now crying mate, he knew the other wouldn’t take the scenario he had thought up well but this was unexpected.

Poe angrily wiped at his face, “if you-.” His voice cracked and he took a breath before trying agian, “I don’t know what I’d do if you died. I know that I would never find a new mate and I know that I’d be a crying mess all the time but that's about all I can guess.”

Guilt had firmly settled into the pit of Ben’s stomach and it took a small nudge for him to regain his voice. “You shouldn't have to die alone just because I was weak.” He knew that the alpha would be able to find a new mate quickly and that many people were already lining up even with him still there.

 Poe let out a choked laugh, “you’re not weak and never will be, no matter what happens you'll always be one of the strongest people I know. Ben, I love you and I’ve only ever loved you. I don’t want to spend my life with anybody other than you, and even if you say I should I won’t do it. I can't do it. You’re strong, smart, funny and the only person who I'll ever love.”

Wiping at his face again he looked at the omega, who’s gaze had lowered. “Ben, look at me.” It was soft but it was an order and it had Ben immediately raising his eyes, tilting his head back slightly as a show of submission and Poe mentally kicked himself.

As an alpha he some weird had authority over beta's and omega's, he tried hard not to be that stereotypical macho alpha, and when he marked Ben as his he swore he would never abuse the man the way Snoke had.

Frowning he leaned forward until their foreheads touched and he gently ran a thumb over mark, “I’m sorry.” It took several moments for Ben to realize what he was apologizing for and a small part of him wanted to beg forgiveness for upsetting the other, instead he gave a small kiss on the lips.

“I am too, I planned how everything would play out if I died but didn’t bother to think of the people I would leave behind if I did.” Poe felt like his body was encased with ice but managed to give a small nod before he felt a rush of energy.

“Just be sure to keep that in mind if anything happens. Which it won’t because when the baby is coming you’ll be in pain and blame me for doing this to you, I’ll be holding you’re hand and doing my best to cheer you on while trying not to freak out. After the baby is born and we’ll fight over a little names, because for some reason it’s really hard to choose one. Then somehow you'll be able to leave the med-bay earlier than most people, like you always do, and then we’ll begin our adventure of parenthood. Oh, and I’ll probably cry at some point, but only because we have the best child in all of the galaxy.”

When he finished he felt a surge of giddiness at what he believed would happen and gave the other a wide smile. Ben tried to give a smile back but couldn’t shake the feeling that things would not go the way anyone was hoping it would.