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Ice sculptures in June, wedding Bells in December.

Summary:

The good, the bad, and the stupid.

When a mysterious investigation is handed to Medizard about a freak who’s style is similar to piss cakehole, it’s her duty to find this culprit and take them down…

Who knew culprits and love would find its way together?

Notes:

Medizard uses She/he pronouns and Cakehole piss is a He/him lesbian, sorry for all the tf2 yaoi readers you’re gonna have to read something else 💔

Also ignore grammer mistakes we die like lesbians 🫡

Chapter 1: Digging through files

Chapter Text

Medizard was never one for love, emotional morals were always 2nd then missions and dealing with annoying trespassers and tourists from getting into Glacier. It was rare when she ever got a break from leaving the cold land around him, even himself worried he isolating this around him.

“Come on Meddy’!” Scout would always pat Medizard’s back at times “You gotta lighten up a little! Go out and see people!” Grabbing a soda from the employee hangout room’s fridge.
“Nein, I got much more important things to do then sit around and listen to people talk!” Medizard made a shooing gesture. She was on the middle of a case right now and she couldn’t be bothered by social events.
Major scout saw the file of papers in front of the wizard as he tapped tapped the pen on the table.

“Come on Meddy, you’re just gonna waste your life away being sad and…what’s other word for sad?” Major tapped his chin

“Depressed?” Medizard groaned, laying his head on the table.
“Yea there we go!” Major snapped his fingers not even seeing the medic begin to mope.

“This doesn’t make any sense? Who could be doing all these incidents so quickly! This one says June 12th at 9:30 and this says June 14th at 3:45 pm?” Medizard took 2 of the papers from the pile and leaned on the chair, she burrowed her eyebrows.
“Might be a freak? Sounds like it or it could be-“ major was interrupted by Medizard shuffling the papers to find some answer.

“I mean the victims are just lime scouts, not like they make a impact on society we could surely use less of them.” The scout shrugged looking at the victim photos. Medizard had to agree on that one Lime scouts WERE annoying.

“Yes but look at the bodies! Doesn’t this look familiar to you?” Medizard pointed at the photo, the flesh was ripped and body looked poorly, poorly carved.
“Hey it does!” The scout nodded the paper closer “Who’s the only person in the world who carves invasive freak types all the time?” Medizard lifted an eyebrow.

“Piss cakehole!” Major gapped his jaw wide open.
Medizard was a little embarrassed finding that photo underneath that whole stash just now but finding it made her feel a lot better about the case…for a second.
“Yes but It doesn’t make sense though, Piss cakehole was admitted to the hospital the other night fighting a heavy freak! Who else would have his carving style?” The wizard tapped her chin and Major stood there looking at the photo hard. She was feeling stumped again.
The fighting style was nearly similar but different. Piss cakehole was much cleaner shockingly and was precise about what he carved and didn’t carved.

“You think it could be a copy?” The scout took a seat looking at the files, some weren’t even connected to the case but knowing Medizard, she wasn’t going to stop until he had an answer.
“A fraud? Yes. Out all the data we have Piss cakehole is only classified freak having that power until otherwise.” Medizard took his glasses off to clean them “Meaning either a fraud, a copy or he has a sibling right?!” Major crossed his arms, he now intrigued despite this case being handed to Medizard.

“Piss cakehole has no record of a sibling. They actually have no record of a family or cousins.” Pulling a file from the bundled pile. A file of piss cakehole.
“He was transferred into an unknown freak orphanage as a baby as we know his data is little to nothing in background.”

Major opened the file, there was a photo of Piss cakehole.
Much younger around 16-17 years old, he has short curly hair and his eyes were a light shade of red.
“Geez, sometimes I forget we have this stuff laying around.” Major read the info on it.
“Huh, says here he was on his way for a medical and an art degree! I can take a guess why and what happened.” Medizard just rolled their eyes. “That’s not important right now, what’s important is where I can find this freak! I enjoy the lime scouts going down but Evo city’s reputation isn’t the highest from the history for Freak shenanigans!” Medizard stood up grabbing her coat and hat, she bought a little white bag where he could take the files with (with legal permission of course)

Major just rolled his eyes from under his goggles, he was little weirded out from how determined and expressive Medizard WAS about this whole thing. “You gonna get a search team or you doing this solo?” The scout leaned on the seat putting his arms behind his head “Cause finding this dude is gonna be near impossible, nothing connects on here besides the Lime scouts.”

“Solo, I’v handled Piss cakehole and his tactics I can handle other.” Medizard swayed her white hair putting his hat on.
With that he left major in the break room alone, this was going to be a long search.