Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

To ducky <3

Monday, 2:14 PM

ducky <3: if I had to choose between cutting my fingers off one by one with safety scissors or looking at you I would choose the scissors

You: first date idea

ducky <3: sorry my pen broke I was mad

ducky <3: same choice though :]

Monday, 11:42 PM

You: have I ever told you that you are wonderful and beautiful and amazing

ducky <3: what did you break.

You: I didn't break anything :3 btw completely unrelated do you perhaps maybe have the skill to sew together skin

ducky <3: did . did you chew your stitches off again

You: noooooo :3

You: I was lying btw I don't know if you understood that

ducky <3: youre my least favorite rival ever.

ducky <3: come over.

To fucker!!

Tuesday, 10:02 AM

fucker!!: why are you Staring Longingly and Sighing Wistfully and Twirling Your Hair at Big Q's office from your van

You: I am not staring longingly I am looking with despise and hatred

You: wait wtf how can you see me where are you

fucker!!: wall

You: what

fucker!!: Scout's Honor ✋

You: you were never in boy scouts

You: stop throwing rocks at the van

To dead hoe <3 (evil)

Wednesday, 9:52 PM

You: I can see you

You: why are you in Quackity's house

You: did you break in

You: why are you on my boyfriend's couch

dead hoe <3 (evil): were literally in a polyamourus relationship what are you yapping about

 /: You: *we're 

You: and. well. im taller I win

dead hoe <3 (evil): please kys ^_^

To ducky <3

Wednesday, 9:58 PM

You: why are you cheating on me

ducky <3: ???

You: you and Glatt are cuddling on the couch and playing Roblox

You: unblock me on Roblox btw

ducky <3: did you forget we have a polyamourus relationship.

ducky <3: and no

 ): You: oh aw man

You: anyways

 ): You: tommy says he'll sue Wilburger-Ranvan

ducky <3: I'm glad

ducky <3: I'll give him his funds

ducky <3: I'll be his lawyer

You: you're just mad because im cooler than you

ducky <3: you live in a van with your younger brother and your entire person probably costs less than my shirt

ducky <3: you're pathetic

You: damn

You: can you say that again

😍😍🤤🤤🤤🙏🙏🙏 :You

ducky <3: i hate you

To dead hoe <3 (good)

Thursday, 3:11 AM

You: I can hear you giggling from the other room are you making out with Big Q without me

dead hoe <3 (good): papa's freezeria 🥰

You: can I play

You: pls

 🙏:You

You: im breaking in

To ducky <3

Thursday, 1:02 PM

You: do you wanna make out

ducky <3: Hi Wilbur from L'Manburg! Quackity from Las Nevadas told me to text you that he's busy right now!

You: tell him to text me

ducky <3: He told me to not respond!

You: you just responded

ducky <3: awh :(

You: get him 🙏 pls

ducky <3: what do you want

You: do you wanna make out

ducky <3: no I'm busy

You: I didn't want to anyways

To dead hoe <3 (evil)

Thursday, 1:09 PM

You: do you wanna make out

dead hoe <3 (evil): no you smell horrible :/

To dead hoe <3 (good)

Thursday, 1:13 PM

You: do you wanna make out

dead hoe <3 (good): oh 😳 sure :3

You: FUCK YOU I didn't want to either

You: oh wait you said yes

 💪💥🔥💯 You: let's go

To ducky <3

Thursday, 1:42 PM

You: can we hold hands

ducky <3: if I say yes will you stop bothering me

You: yes

You: I prommy

 🥺 :You

ducky <3: fine ❤️😘😘❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘❤️

ducky <3: never do that emoji ever again btw

Chapter Text

To fucker!!

Saturday, 5:01 AM

You: toms

You: thomas

You: tommy

.You: Thomas Innit McCraft

You: oh wait I forgot I have your phone

You: wait I know your password

fucker!!: hi wilby you are very cool and awesome and I will hang out with you because you are the best older sister ever

To ducky <3

Saturday, 10:22 AM

ducky <3: I got banned on Roblox again

You: why

You: were you sexting with Glatt

ducky <3: no

ducky <3: maybe

ducky <3: THATS NOT THE ISSUE!!!

ducky <3: I am the PRESIDENT that shouldn't be allowed

You: loser

ducky <3: im breaking up with you

To Mister Employee

Saturday, 10:27 AM

You: wait are me and Big Q dating or is it still a bit

Mister Employee: huh???

Mister Employee: I thought he just took you on a date???

You: just making sure

To ducky <3

Saturday, 11:00 AM

You: no

ducky <3: you can't just say no to me breaking up with you

You: non-consensual relationship ending :/ showing your true colours here Q

ducky <3: *colors

ducky <3: I can't hear you lalalala

You: *colours

Saturday, 11:08 AM

ducky <3: bored as hell

ducky <3: do you wanna date again

You: yeah

ducky <3: wait can we break up again

ducky <3: I didn't have time to post a picture of me in black eyeliner giving the middle finger to the camera with the caption: you will never find someone like me Wilbur

You: ok

You: wait I wanna do that too

ducky <3: no you're copying me

You: I just posted mine now you're copying ME

ducky <3: I just put on my eyeliner though :[ did it for nothing :[[[

You: do you look hot

ducky <3: yeah

You: can I see

ducky <3: no

To dead hoe <3 (evil)

Saturday,11:29 AM

You: are you at Quackity's

dead hoe <3 (evil): yes

You: can you send me a pic of him rn

dead hoe <3 (evil): 👍

dead hoe <3 (evil: please don't jack off to it 🙏

dead hoe <3 (evil): without me at least

dead hoe <3 (evil): [the attachment shows a picture of Quackity standing over the sink, the picture taken from behind from the doorway. Quackity is wearing Hello Kitty sweatpants, having no beanie or shirt, his hair in a ponytail. Quackity's face and front of his body can be seen with the mirror above the sink. Quackity is furiously trying to rub eyeliner off and is clearly struggling. He does not notice Glatt taking the picture.]

 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 :You

To ducky <3

Saturday, 11:43 AM

🤨 You: nice pants ig

ducky <3: STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER

ducky <3: wait did Glatt send you a pic

You: yeah :3

ducky <3: oh

ducky <3: what's the problem with my pants :/

😍😘😍😘😘😘😍😘😍 You: the problem is that you're wearing any

ducky <3: please die

To dead hoe <3 (good)

Saturday, 11:55 AM

You: doesn't Q look so cute rn

dead hoe <3 (good): I don't know what he looks like ☹️

You: idk

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 You: he looks cute

dead hoe <3 (good): That's not very helpful

dead hoe <3 (good): But thank you