Chapter Text
I can feel my body starting to tire from the cold, but force myself to keeping going. Donnie’s still in sight as he skids and zigzags through the streets. Word must have traveled fast because the streets are nearly empty as we continue to chase my brother. The fireworks would have worked if it wasn’t for those EPF agents. Hopefully with their weapons destroyed, it will buy us enough time to catch Donnie.
He makes a sharp turn into an alley. I stop short, holding my arm to the side to signal for Raph and Casey to stop as well.
“Alright. Here’s the plan: I’m going to take to the roof. You guys stay down here and keep him distracted but calm and when I have a clear shot I hit him with the sleep bomb. Got it?”
“Got it,” they say in unison as we give a quick fist bump before I scale the building. Plan B has gone to shambles so I’m flying by the seat of my shell right now. Donnie’s too big to fit in a manhole so hitting him with a sleep bomb without any place to hide him will leave us wide open to the EPF agents that are hot on our trail. This isn’t a plan, it’s a dead end. My stomach churns with knots of doubt. I know this is a bad idea but I don’t know what else to do.
Now that I’m topside, I hope I can find Donnie’s aura trail…. it’s like an imprint that shows where an aura has been. Donnie’s dark purple trail is growing thinner, nearly the size of string of yarn. I fly faster, hoping I reach my brother before his aura trail goes completely cold. I’m getting close. I can feel his fear and confusion. I look behind me, seeing my own bright orange aura trail. I’ll use it to find my way back to my body later. I keep following the dark violet-colored energy trail until I see the silhouette of cars barricading the road. The aura of the humans at the barricades are filled with disgust and the kind of hate I thought only existed in history books. I look ahead and my spirit aches with fear as I see a blurry trail of blood in the snow below. I soar faster, following the aura trail and blood.
It’s not long before I spot the blue and red auras of my oldest brothers and Casey’s silver one. Their auras are anxious as they approach Donnie at the end of the alleyway. Poor D’s aura is a chaotic storm; it swirls within his body like a caged tiger. Taking a deep breath, I know what I have to do. I don’t give it a second thought as I dive into Donnie’s aura.
Whoa. Donnie’s aura space had another interior upgrade since the last time I was here. The living darkness is everywhere, contracting and swelling with every breath it takes. I… I can’t see Donnie anywhere; all the computers and monitors that once made up my brother’s spiritual space has completely vanished; now there are only rows and rows of dark, pulsing goo covering at every turn. Only the light from my orange aura lights my path as I walk through Donnie’s spiritual corridors of horror.
Walking deeper into this jungle of black snot, I notice something hanging down. It looks like a huge mucus bubble. It’s covered in branch-like veins. Every time it pulses, a purple light glows within it. Weird.
Something’s different about this bubble. It has a different vibe about it. Stepping closer to it, I reach my hand out and touch the surface. Yep, it definitely feels like snot. I poke my finger a little deeper, squeezing my eyes shut and flinching just in case it really is just a snot bubble and it explodes and covers me in globs of grossness. My finger sinks deeper and deeper into the suspended blob, but it doesn’t pop. Instead it has a suctioning feel as I sense a small pull from the other side. I stick my other hand in.
When nothing happens, I close my eyes and completely step into the mucus bubble.
I open my eyes with a gasp.
“Donnie!” I found him! “Man, am I glad to see you, bro!”
“Mikey?” He doesn’t seem as hype as me. As a matter of fact he looks exhausted. His knees are drawn to his chest as he sits in the center of this bubble. Lifting my feet and wiggling my toes, I realize that the inside isn’t gross and sticky like the outside.
“Yeah, bro, it’s me.” I smile as I crawl over to sit cross-legged in front of him. Glancing around, I can’t help but notice the cozy feeling of safety that wraps around my aura like a warm blanket.
For a several minutes Donnie just stares at me in awe before finally speaking. “Are you dead?”
“Nope. Just flossin’ my aura skills.” I give a cheeky smile.
“I thought I killed you.”
“Nope, my body is totally getting some shut eye back at the lair.” Honestly, the further I drift from my body the more hazy my memory is about what actually happened with Donnie. I’m sure it wasn’t too bad, just a scratch. I reassure him with two thumbs up and a grin. He doesn’t return the smile. “We really miss you out there.”
“There’s nothing left of me to miss.” It breaks my heart how much he believes this.
“What do you mean, D? ....You’re right here.” I poke the center of his purple aura.
“I don’t know where ‘here’ is!” His voice cracks in frustration.
Donnie! It’s Raph, your brother. Remember me?
We both hear Raph’s voice. It’s coming from outside Donnie’s little bubble. “Dude, it’s Raph! Come on, we have to—” Donnie grabs by wrist, keeping me in place. His fear sends a rattling chill down my aura.
“No. I can’t go out there…not again. It’s out there.”
“Well, you can’t stay in here.”
“I have to stay in here. If I go out there it will destroy me. I tried to fight it, to overcome it, but I can’t. When Sensei told me I didn’t have to fight the mutation anymore I let go and that was the worst thing I could have ever done. This monster…this part of me….it destroyed everything out there that made me who I am. It grew too big, too fast and now I can’t contain it. I made this place so the darkness wouldn’t find me.” He motions to the bubble we’re inside of that holds his signature purple tint. “Hiding is my own means of survival.”
For a moment, I don’t say anything. For months, I watched Donnie learn some heavy truths about himself. I also watched him grow from it as he stopped denying and hiding his emotions and trusting us to do the same. It hurts to see him revert back to hiding again. He’s worked too hard to quit now.
“Don’t worry I gotcha back, bro, no matter what. But you can’t give up and you can’t stay in here.” I motion to the bubble-slash- comfort zone we’re sitting in. “Leo, Raph, and Casey are out there trying to help you but they can’t if you don’t help yourself, dude.” Donnie looks at me before giving a determined sigh.
“You’re right, Mikey.”
“Of course, I am.” He snorts at my charming cockiness.
“What would I do without you, little brother?” He shakes his head with a smile.
I shrug with a grain of humility. “Dude, I’m totally making this up as I go but I know we can figure this out together. Come on.” Standing, I extend my hand to him. Without hesitation, he takes my hand and we leave his bubble of safety together.
We’re surrounded by the smothering darkness again. I can feel it wriggling beneath my feet. There’s something else strange about Donnie’s aura and now I’ve figured out what it is: It’s quiet. No creepy inner monologue or attacks from the darkness living inside D’s aura, but why? For months, this darker side of Donnie’s aura has tormented my brother, threatening to take over. Now that Donnie has completely mutated, it’s like the taunting just….stopped. When I aggravate my bros, I stop when they give in to whatever it is I want (video games, the TV remote, the last slice of pizza, ya know the usual), so did the darkness stop because it got what it wanted?....
I look beside me at Donnie as he scopes out our surroundings. No way. My bro’s still in control. Scary voice or not, Donnie’s got this.
I know you’re in there, Genius. You gotta listen to us.
“There! ...Right there!” I point at the glowing red orb that sounds like Raph just a few feet in front of us.
Just as Donnie grabs for it, it disappears like a vapor between his fingers. He stares at me with this hopeless look that I’m still not used to seeing on my brother’s face.
“This happened before. Every time I get close, it disappears. Earlier I saw a yellow light that sounded like April and…and I felt like myself. But then I saw what I did to you and I…I let go. That’s when everything started caving in and I made the bubble.” D looks like he saw the scariest horror movie ever as he vaguely talks whatever he did to me. I’m really having a hard time remembering exactly what he did.
But that’s not important right now. “Okay so lemme see if I can break this down, bruh: Every time you hears us talking to you in the physical world, our voices appear like little fireflies that you have to catch in the spirit world, right?” Talk about a crash course in advanced aura functions.
“Yes, I suppose that’s essentially what’s happening here.”
D, we’re here to help, man! Those EPF dudes are looking for you.
Casey’s voice rings loud and clear as a silver light buzzes near us and fizzles out again before Donnie can capture it between his hands. “Donnie, you gotta focus, bro!”
“I am! I’ve been here for hours and feel like I’m going to completely lose myself.”
“Hey.” I grab him by the shoulders. “I told you I got your back bro. I know you can do this. Just pretend like you’re working on one of your top secret projects in your lab….and…and you’ve gotta have absolute silence ‘cause you have to focus!” I watch as Donnie closes his eyes to picture my scenario. “That’s it bro, just focus.”
Now we just have to wait for the guys to talk to Donnie again. Minutes tick by and it’s still silent. Come on, somebody say something!
Donnie, you were right. I couldn’t stop the bad stuff from happening to you.
I gasp. It’s Leo! I see a blue light flickering in front of us. Keep talking bro!
But you don’t have to face this alone. I’m right here, little brother. Always have been, always will be.
With his eyes still closed, Donnie reaches for the blue light. “Leo…” When he has it cupped in his hands, he opens his eyes. “I did it!” His face lights up as his aura glows bright. “I hear you, Leo! I’m here! I’m right here!”
The blue ball of light grows in his hands, its hue brighter and more vibrant as Donnie’s aura holds fast to it. Suddenly, it becomes a blue tinted window and we see Leo trapped in a large scaly hand.
“Leo!” I shout and wave through the window. “Hey bro!”
“Hm…I don’t think it works like that.” Donnie says, thinking out loud. “Remember how Sensei always says the eyes are the window to the soul?”
I gasp. “Dude….” I hadn’t thought about it that way. Donnie’s catching on fast to this aura stuff. “So you can see him but Leo sees you through your soul through your eyes?” I ask scratching my head.
“….Something like that. Concepts of the heart and soul aren’t easy to put into tangible, measurable outcomes.” I nod in agreement. True dat, bro. Tru dat. “I’m pretty sure that’s my fist crushing him, but I feel like I have some control now…. maybe I can communicate with him somehow…”
Quietly, I squat on the second landing of the fire escape, waiting for Donnie to step back a little more so I can dust him with the sleeping bomb. As Raph and Casey continue to talk to him, Donnie rises to his full height. He’s so close to the fire escape, I could reach out touch the scales of his face but I remain still within the small shadowed space; waiting for just the right moment.
He’s not attacking, just growling at Raph and Casey. Donnie has to be in there, otherwise he would have already devoured them by now. He’s holding back. I tighten my muscles to restrain a shiver threatening to rattle my shell as the snowfall becomes more steady. I underestimate Donatello’s peripheral vision and my subtle body movement doesn’t go unnoticed.
Donnie roars as his claws swipe at the fire escape, sending the bottom landing to clatter dully to the snow-covered ground. Stumbling to my feet, the sleeping bomb slips from my fingers, exploding as it cracks against the pile of ruined metal below. Suddenly I’m snatched up into his fist and inches away from his snout. Red eyes are narrowed at me as hot breath steams from his nostrils. His lips curl into a snarl before his jaw unhinges, bringing my head closer to his gaping mouth. His sharp canines are stained with blood with shreds of clothing from his most recent victims. Even as my heart pounds against my plastron I try one more time to get through to my brother.
“Donnie, I know you’re angry! ...” I shout loud enough for him to hear me as my head enters his mouth, “…confused, and scared. You were right, Donnie. I couldn’t stop the bad stuff from happening to you.”
He huffs and I cringe as saliva drips on the back of my head. A sudden cold chill whips across my face; a feeling drastically different from the smothering heater I felt just moments ago. When I open my eyes, I’m no longer inside Donnie’s mouth, but he still has his iron-clad grip around my body that threatens to crush my shell.
“But you don’t have to face this alone. I’m right here, little brother. Always have been, always will be.” I shiver against the cold as tears blur my vision. Shocked, I stare into Donnie’s crimson eyes. I thought I saw something, something that wasn’t rage or bloodlust… something thoughtful. It flickers in his pupils again like a winter miracle as his eyes mellow to a gentle brown. A soft rumble vibrates from his throat that almost sounds like a cat’s purr if cats were giant lizards. Loosening his grip, he slides me back on the remaining fire escape. He whines as his fingers wrap around the railing and he lowers his head so that we’re eye-to-eye. “I know you didn’t mean it. It’s okay.” I accept his apology as I rub my hand over his bridge of his snout.
“Hate to break up your bro moment, but we’ve got company,” Casey yells as I hear large engines and the whirl of a helicopter overhead.
“Donnie, you have to hide. Use your camouflage.” He closes his eyes and I watch as his body slowly fades from sight, blending into the brick pattern of the dead end behind us.
“SURRENDER NOW. ANY ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE WILL RESULT IN OPEN FIRE.” A voice blares from one of the military tanks as it turns in front of the alley. There are several smaller vehicles around it with uniformed people aiming hi-tech weapons at us. Those guns look familiar….
“Leo, they’ve got Kraang tech!” Raph confirms what I was thinking as I unsheathe one of my katanas
“PUT YOUR WEAPONS DOWN NOW.”
When I don’t concede, a stream of blasts fire at us. My katana blocks each shot. I wince as a something stings the side of my neck. Feeling my neck, I pull the small needle protruding from it. Tranquilizer. I look down, prepared to join Raph and Casey in the fray, but their moving bodies against the snow-covered ground start to blur in and out of focus. Something else pricks my leg and shoulder as I try to shake off the dizziness. I put one foot in front of the other, but nothing’s there as I fall forward. The fall is shorter than my fuzzy mind thinks it should be as I land on my shell. Looking up, Donnie’s face comes into view as he holds me in the palm of his hand, my arms and legs dangling helplessly.
“D-Donnie?” He shouldn’t be seen! They’re going to capture him! His brown eyes look at me in a way that tells me I may not see my brother again. He nuzzles my plastron and my face before gently laying me on the snowy ground. “No… Donnie…” I try to stand but my legs wobble as I fall on my hands and knees. I’m not sure if my fingers are numb from the cold or the tranquilizer, but the world is spinning around me and Donatello is at its center as a roar erupts from him loud enough to be mistaken for thunder.