Cry, Boy, Cry

'I tried to write to you Will. I really tried.'
'I know.' Will agreed, something lying just beneath the surface.
Will looked up at him, just like he always did, but there was no trace of the usual kindness and empathy. Instead, his face was cold, eyes showing no feeling and mouth curved up into a smug grin.
'What do you mean you know?' Mike asked quickly, voice breaking.
'You can't hide things forever, Mike. You of all people should know that.'
OR
Mike becomes the next victim of Vecna's curse and has to confront the truth he's been hiding from. Only one song can save him.
(Title taken from Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat)

Notes:

TW for internalised homophobia, brief period-typical homophobia and use of homophobic slurs
I haven't been able to stop thinking about the potential of Mike getting Vecna'd in season 5 for about a week, so I decided to write this fic about it. I hope it fills the hole in your heart too!

Work Text:

Apocalypses had always interested Mike. The adventure, the survival tactics, the way everyone is impressively skilled in a weapon seemingly of their choosing. When he was younger, he would read any book he could get his hands on about them; some of them gruesome enough that he would be woken up constantly throughout the night by his nightmares - not that he would admit that to anyone else. He used them as research for his future career as a writer. Well, that was how he justified spending all his pocket money on them to his mom. It got to the point where Dustin was practically begging him to come up with a DnD campaign where there was some sort of civilisation for them to interact with, and they weren't just in a barren apocalyptic land.

And even when Will was first taken, he never would've predicted that he would actually be living in an apocalypse; or that it is in fact, quite boring.

He and the Byers had got back to Hawkins two months ago, and it felt like both nothing and everything had changed. The neighbourhoods still looked the same, if you tried to ignore how a few houses were just bricks on the ground, and most were left empty. The kids still here were going to school, but they each had to carry a bat and even the middle schoolers were still being walked by their parents. His friends had welcomed them back with open arms, but he had to pretend.

Pretend there wasn't a searing hole in the group where Max should have been, laughing at Mike for actually believing her when he had visited her at the trailer park to ask what people in California wore. He should have been able to bicker with her, like he usually did, but she was in that hospital bed, pale and absent of any of her personality. They had saved people before, yet they couldn't do it this time, and he just had to sit, and wait, and hope she would be ok.

He had to pretend that Eddie had just moved away, finally graduated and gone to live his dreams of being a rockstar, instead of being left in the upside down for the demobats to chew at. He had to pretend it was ok that only Dustin seemed to be ripped up by it, and that he was never officially part of their party anyway. He had to pretend that Eddie wasn't the first person that made him think that just maybe, it was ok to start being himself, instead of being moulded into who he should be by his family, and that losing this wasn't unbearably painful. Every time he looked in the mirror, Eddie was staring back at him. The day after he got back,he chopped his hair short. It was messy, but this way he couldn't be constantly reminded of what he had lost.

He had to pretend that it didn't tear him apart, seeing Lucas and Dustin hug Will so tightly, like he should have done at the airport. He had to pretend that every time he looked at Will, it didn't remind him of who he was, and what he had done to Will. He had kept running away from him, and hurtling back when things got too hard. He had to pretend that he didn't want to tear the bridge apart between them and -

It didn’t matter what he wanted to do.

And he had to pretend that when El had broken up with him, just two days after they had returned to Hawkins, that it hurt in the way it should have when a boy was in love with a girl. He had tried desperately to keep their ship from sinking. Tried everything he could think of until he was some new version of himself, built on lies he tried to convince himself were true. He had to pretend that when El had sat him down, and said that they don't love each other the way a couple should, that he was surprised, outraged even. That their love was perfect, and that El wasn't just being kind in pretending that the main issues didn’t lie with Mike.

He was used to pretending. It was second nature to him now.

He was distracted from all of this in the first few days. It was hectic as they all filled each other in on what they knew about vecna, and how he targeted people. Mike welcomed it, because he would much rather face a supernatural monster ready to kill all of civilisation than his own feelings. They all made safety plans, in case anyone was targeted, or attacked by a demogorgon, but ultimately planning was all they could do right now. Vecna was weak, but so were they. They had tried all they could and it still wasn't enough. For the first time, they lost. So for the past two months, they had taken in turns to patrol Hawkins, looking out for anything from the upside down, or simply killing a demobat before it got someone who wasn't used to dealing with it. Between the patrols, El was training up for what they could only hope was the final showdown, and they were trying to come up with a plan to make it as easy for her as possible.

Today it was his turn to go on patrol. Usually nothing happened, but they couldn't risk simply staying inside when the sky was darkening and the terrain was getting harder to navigate. As Hopper kept reminding them, it was their responsibility to look out for those who hadn't faced this before. Shitty time for Hopper to get on the responsibility train if you asked him.

It was always a bigger group of them who went out. They couldn't risk going alone, so he was joined by Nancy, Robin, Dustin, Lucas, El and Will. They always started central at the hospital, usually picking Lucas up from there after visiting Max.

'Is everyone here?' Nancy asked. Since this whole mess, she had really taken up her role as leader. Mike wasn't surprised. She always used to decide what they were playing with their toys and Mike had no say in it whatsoever. At least now he didn't want to complain about it.

They all nodded their heads, with Dustin handing Lucas over his backpack.

'We'll split up like normal. Robin's with me, and you can decide between yourselves who you want to go with. Keep on guard today. Everyday vecna is getting stronger and we don't know what he's going to do next. You all have walkie talkies and your Walkmans in your bags. Use them.' She lectured, looking round at the group until fixing her eyes on Mike and giving him a pointed look. He hoped anyone else would just read that as sisterly concern.

He watched as Nancy and Robin walked towards the hospital, and Lucas, Dustin and El huddled in a group, consulting their map where to go.

'What do you say paladin? Come with me?' Mike turned around to be met with Will, looking up at him with a bat in hand offered out to him. He didn’t exactly possess the weaponry skills like the characters in the books he read, so whilst Will was trusted with a gun, a bat was what he got.

Yet still he couldn't help his face from breaking out into a wide smile.

'Yes, Will the Wise. I think I will join you on this quest.' He replied, matching Will's giggling as the shorter boy's face lit up, cheeks a slight shade of pink and hazel eyes shyly looking down. Mike found himself absorbed, an unwilling participant as he blindly reached out towards the bat, unable to tear his eyes away from the other boy's face. He felt his fingers brush against Will's palm a second too long, tracing the calluses on his hands. Will looked up at him tentatively and Mike was pulled back to reality. He drew his hand away quickly, almost dropping the bat, and suddenly became infatuated in what his compass was telling him.

'Let's go Byers.' He started promptly. 'No time to waste.'

So even though they were in an apocalypse where any of them could die a brutal death any day now, he hadn't lost count that whilst it may have been 61 days since they returned to Hawkins and 59 days since his girlfriend had broken up with him, it had also been 242 days since he realised that he was in love with Will Byers.

And he couldn't bear it.

If he was truthful with himself, he knew he had been in love with him longer than that. If he was completely truthful, he could admit that he had always loved him, but truth was a nasty, wicked disease he had to stay away from. Even after all these years, he wasn't ready to confront it, so it stayed locked up within a deep part of himself. If he didn't acknowledge it, it wasn't there, and if he threw himself into his relationship with El, it definitely wasn't there. He tried to do what everyone else did, just like what Max and Lucas or Nancy and Jonathan can do so easily. But why was it so hard for him? Why could he not do it. Why was it that every time he thought about the way Will would ask him if he was ok if he noticed he was being a bit quiet, or the face he would make when he was concentrating on painting, he felt the butterflies rise in his stomach? Why was it that he couldn't stop thinking about Will painting something for someone who wasn't him?

But like he said, he can't think about that stuff, and he tried his best not to. What he didn't talk about couldn't hurt him. If he just kept it bottled up for so long, he might just forget about it.

Since they had come back to Hawkins, Will had been staying at the Wheelers on a mattress next to Mike's bed and things were slowly returning back to normal. Since him and El had broken up, he would be lying if he said that didn't help matters. Will seemed to opening himself up more and Mike had stopped shutting him down at every opportunity he got. He knew what a jerk he had been, but between being a jerk and knowing he was that, he was going to choose jerk every time. But when he didn't know how long he would stay alive for, he tried to put his feelings aside just for now. They had started watching movies together again, laughing at all the plot holes and pointing out how they would fix them, and Will had started trying to teach Mike to draw again, a years long project which never amounted to much on Mike's side of things. It was comforting to have that sense of familiarity, and he felt safe with him, even if his head did threaten to explode every time Will's hand guided his or he fell asleep on Mike towards the end of the movie.

But he wasn't supposed to think about that.

'Hey, do you remember our sixth grade science fair project?' Mike asked, eager to change the subject in his head.

'The one where we tried to pass electricity through an apple?' Will replied.

'Yeah! But we put too much voltage through and the apple exploded.'

'Yeah and it broke Mr Johnson's glasses. I had to use my pocket money to pay for my share for months. Missed out on a bunch of X men comics.' Will laughed back. 'Why are you bringing that up?'

'Because I feel like it would be really useful right now.'

'What? Death to the demobats through apples?' Will asked him incredulously.

'Don't make fun of me, Mr. Let's use my sister to commit fraud in Vegas.' Mike teased back. 'We would just had to find a huge apple somewhere'

'And where exactly would we find this apple? The same place James found his giant peach?'

'Maybe? Maybe the lab is working on them along with abusing children? But just imagine. It would go all over the place like pow.' He jumped up as far as he could, flinging his limbs in every direction, anything to make that grin on Will's face grow. The way down was less graceful, knocking his knees against the vines along the floor and slamming his face into the ground.

'Mike! Are you alright?' Will ran over to him, trying to hide his growing laughter.

Mike pulled himself up and brushed himself down. 'I'm ok! Just a little fall.'

He looked towards Will, eager to give the overthinking boy reassurance, but as soon as their eyes met any joy was sucked out of Will's eyes.

'Mike, your nose.'

'What about my nose?'

'It's...It's bleeding.'

He quickly reached his hand up, wiping it across his nose and looking as a bright red smear spread onto his finger. He knew it was nothing to do with the fall. He's not an idiot. He just prayed that Will didn't know this, that he didn't read right through him like he is always able to do.

4 days ago, he had woken up drenched in sweat, panting and heaving as he tried to clutch onto anything that proved he wasn't in the nightmare. He ended up staring at Will in his bed for the next hour, trying to get himself grounded to the point that he might just be able to fall asleep again. The same morning was when the nosebleeds started, and then he knew. They had been filled in on the symptoms as soon as they got back to Hawkins. At first he had hoped it was just a fluke, but everyday since these nosebleeds have been haunting him, acting as a ticking time bomb until the inevitable day came. He had only told Nancy, keen to keep this on the down low. He couldn't take all the fuss, everyone acting like he was a good person that deserved saving. He wasn't worthy of taking up Will's brain space. He had better things to worry about. Besides, the less you acknowledge the truth, the less it is actually happening.

'Mike? Mike!' Will's voice got him out of his head.

'Sorry. What?' Mike replied, still dazed.

'I said are you ok?'

He promptly grabbed a tissue out his pocket, desperately hoping that Will wouldn't clock the dried blood already on it and the rising panic in his face. 'I'm fine. Nothing a tissue can't fix. Come on, let's go.'

He stormed ahead whilst Will tried to keep up his pace behind him.

'You know, if we ever go back to California, I'd really like to go to that science museum you told me about in your letters. I'd like to go to any of the places you told me about.'

'Really?' Will replied, unsure of himself.

'Yeah, definitely!' Mike answered, still looking away. 'I did read all of your letters. I hope you know that. I kept them all, even the bits of scrap paper that I don't think you even meant to send.'

'But you never replied, did you?'

'What?' Mike asked, taken aback but Will's sudden cold tone. He stopped in his tracks, hoping he had heard him wrong.

'You heard what I said. You never replied to them. How can you act like they matter to you when you didn't even bother to reply?' Will shot back.

'I... uh.'

'You wrote them for eleven, but you didn't write to me. Why?'

"I don't know.'

'That's not true. You know the reason why you didn't write to me.'

He still couldn't look at him. It was still too painful; the truth. This was a new side to Will but he knew he deserved it.

'I tried to write to you Will. I really tried. I just didn't know what to say.'

'I know.' Will agreed, something lying just beneath the surface.

Mike's brain short-circuited, dropping his bat and turning round so fast he almost gave himself whiplash. Will was only a few paces behind him, yet it felt like he was inside his head, picking out every little nerve connection. Will looked up at him, just like he always did, but there was no trace of the usual kindness and empathy. Instead, his face was cold, eyes with no feeling and mouth curved up into a smug grin.

'What do you mean you know?' Mike asked quickly, voice breaking.

'You can't hide things forever, Mike. You of all people should know that. What I needed to know has been in front of me the whole time.'

'Will, what are you doing?' Mike questioned, watching only Will's face as he reached into his backpack. He called on any God he didn't believe in for it to not be what he thought it was going to be.

'Did you seriously think I wouldn't go through your room? It's like you wanted to get caught.' Will lifted up Mike's worst nightmare; his letters, usually hidden in the depths of his closet underneath anything he could find to pile on top.

Mike stood there, jaw open and eyes unbelievably wide. He wanted to cry. He wanted to run away and hide in a dark room where no one would ever find him, but his feet were glued to the spot.

'You knew exactly what you wanted to say to me. You were just too much of a coward to send them.'

'Ha-have you read them all?' Mike managed to get out.

'Every single word. It's amazing how many times you can cross out that word, but it doesn't change how you feel. Look at all of them. Love, Mike.' Will started throwing them towards him. 'Love, love, love. You really like that word don't you?'

Mike couldn't help but stand there and watch as the pieces of paper he poured his heart and soul onto, the pieces of paper that were for his eyes only, fell onto the muddy ground, becoming smudged pools of blue.

'Will. Please stop.' Mike squeaked out, a single tear trailing down his face.

'I'm glad you didn't send me these letters.'

'What?'

'I'm glad I didn't know your secret before. I never would have slept in your room. I never would have been friends with you if I'd known the real you.'

'Will, don't say that.' The tears were flooding now. His best friend was turning into someone he didn't even know, and it was all his fault.

'You love me, and you can't even truly admit it to yourself. You're a dirty little queer.' Will shouted at him and upon this the sky darkened. Hues of red and blue shone off the trees and vines and the sound of demobats was even more deafening.

It was vecna. Of course it was. It was Mike's time now.

Will began to step closer towards him, and each pace he took, Mike only backed away further.

'I can't believe I didn't guess it before. Looking back you were so obvious! I can't believe you love me. And you're right to not want to admit it to yourself.'

Mike frantically shook his head, hoping it would get him out of this hell hole. He wanted it to be that this was only an episode. He didn't want this to be the time where he was being served on a platter, ready for vecna to kill just because Mike himself couldn't see a future where he could be himself.

'This isn't normal. I'm a boy'

'I know.' Mike said as he squeezed his eyes shut so tightly they hurt.

'You shouldn't like boys.'

'I know that!' Mike shouted.

'Yet in the back of your mind, you always thought that maybe, someday, something might happen between us. That I might be like you. Disgusting like you. How could even think that? It's not my fault you don't like girls' Will cruelly leered, mirroring his own words back to him.

Mike opened his eyes, trying to face up this version of Will. The version that lives in his head that he is always terrified is true.

'You're not Will. This isn't real.'

'But your feelings are. Your feelings are so very real. They're so real that you couldn't even try and pretend you loved your girlfriend. You should have been normal. You could have been normal if you had just stayed away from me.'

'Stop it!' Mike screamed.

As if on cue, in the background, he could hear a soft guitar riff. His rising hope quickly depleted, as he realised what it was. Every Breath You Take.

Will laughed cruelly. 'And look at that! You couldn't even tell your friends your favourite song. You had to pretend to be normal, like you always have to'

And he was right. One of the first call of actions when they had got back to Hawkins was telling everyone their favourite song. Some were to be expected, like Steve and Everybody Wants To Rule The World, and Will with Boys Don't Cry. He could have told you those already. But his song was too obvious. It laid him right out on the table for everyone to look at, really look at. So he lied. He said his favourite song was Every Breath You Take, because he thought no one would question it. It was a fond memory with his girlfriend, of course it was normal. He didn't think he would actually need to use the song.

'But I think part of you didn't care if the song would work.' Will continued, voice deepening and skin writhing underneath. 'I think part of you thinks that no life at all would be better than this life.'

'No.'

'I think that deep down you want to join me. Everything about you is a lie. You are built up of lies because what is underneath is sickening.' Vecna was now in front of him, red burnt skin peeling off and long bony hand reaching out, thinking he had an easy target.

'No!' Mike shouted back, and managed to pick up his feet and run for his life.

He was fucking stupid about everything. So fucking stupid. Even when it mattered most, when his life was at stake, he couldn't reveal this part of himself because his brain knew vecna was right, about everything. Now he was stuck with a song he fucking hated, because it reminded him of the years of lies and pretending he has lived. He had to run because that was the only way he knew how to escape the unwanted. He needed to find some sort of way out, not for himself, but so the party didn't have to add him to the death toll.

He sprinted through the forest, wondering when it had become so wide and consuming, trying to avoid the vines that he was so used to tripping up on. But he couldn't run forever. Will had hidden, and he had made it out of the upside down, right? He just needed to hide until he could find somewhere to slip out of. The upside down had gates, surely Vecna's curse had that too? Why the fuck did he drop his bat? That is exactly the kind of thing Will would point out in a horror movie. So fucking stupid.

He continued running and running until his legs couldn't carry him any further, and he felt like he was about to collapse. And yet around him it was still fucking trees. He found one particular group of trees tightly packed in a circle and climbed in, squeezing himself into the most uncomfortable position and staying as still as possible, cursing the day he had a growth spurt. All he had to do was stay calm. Positive.

What had Lucas said? Hide in a memory. Think, Mike, think. 7th grade, a few months after they had got Will back, beating the thessalhydra in the campaign Mike had spent weeks on. Last year, when they all had a movie night in Mike's basement before the Byers were leaving, one last group hang out where they wouldn't stop singing never ending story to Dustin and Will laughed so hard he shot orange juice out his nose. When Dustin got back from camp, and all their friends decided to surprise him. All the friends that would abandon him as soon as they knew what he was. All the friends that should abandon him. He should be alone. He shouldn't know love, after the way he treats people he doesn't deserve it. He is not normal. He shouldn't be like this.

'How could you?' He heard the whisper, silent to anyone who wasn't already on their guard.

Mike slowly turned around, tuning into the stifled sobs and grunts until he saw the figure behind him. Will, stooped over and soaking wet, with the bat he had dropped earlier in his hands, repeating strikes at... at Castle Byers.

It wasn't actually Will. This wasn't real.

But Will kept going and going, hitting at the sticks and signs that used to be his safe place, until it lay demolished on the floor. The sobs became louder and longer. He turned around and caught Mike's eye.

'This is all your fault.' Will shouted.

Mike leapt up from where he was, trying to get out of his self made trap as quickly as possible.

'You destroy everything!'

It wasn't Will. He had to keep reminding himself. It wasn't his Will, whatever his meant.

'You destroy everything! You and your kind!' Will screamed out.

It wasn't real. He started to run, run until the echoes of Will's cries were nothing but a memory, but it still felt so real. And vecna was right. He does destroy everything. Everybody he ever loves ends up hating him because of the way he treats them. Every bad thing that happens to him is entirely of his own doing, and he wish he could stop, but he can't. He will continue destroying himself until he has no one left, because its less painful than everyone leaving him because they know the truth about him. That he's part of those queers his Dad always complains about on TV, or his mom will avert Holly's gaze from.

'Nancy?' He screamed out. 'Nancy!'

And as he kept running, trying to dodge the pelts of rubble coming at him, that song was still there. That fucking stupid song was taunting him, telling him about the smiles he fakes like he doesn't already know all about them. Like he doesn't know that everyday is a carefully constructed performance for him. If he made it out alive, he was going to burn that cassette until it exploded into smithereens. He might still have to live with the truth no one else could know, but at least he would never have to listen to the musical reminder.

'Nancy! Please help me Nancy I'm begging you!' Anyone?'

After what felt like miles, the trees finally began to thin out, revealing a familiar row of houses, his neighbourhood. He clung onto the familiarity present in this nightmare, and bolted towards his house, sprinting past the neighbours that he usually despised but if any of them came out now he would love forever. He couldn't see vecna, but he daren't stop until he got into his house, where there might be a door or a gate or something that would get him out of here instead of this bullshit song.

Outside of his door was figure that made him stop cold. A figure that haunted his nightmares even if she didn't know it.

'Mike.' El said, hair freshly shaved and outfit unchanged since they had broken up. The day that he kept replaying in his mind.

'Wh-what are you doing here?'

'To tell you that you are not welcome here.'

'What? What do you mean?'

'Go away.'

'I...I' He tried to move away from El, trying to find another way in, but she kept following him, never letting him out of her sight.

'Did you think you'd be welcome? After everything?'

Mike tried to slow his breathing, yet it was impossible.

'After we know what you are?' El shouted, leaning in closer until their noses were touching.

'No, this isn't real. You aren't real.' He whispered to himself, fists clenched and gradually taking small steps away from her.

'You're a liar, Mike, and you know it. You never loved me.'

'This isn't El. This isn't.'

'You used me, then you there me away when you couldn't pretend anymore. You never could love me, even if you tried.'

'I did love you!' Mike pleaded at her.

El laughed coldly. 'You couldn't love me how you were supposed to though, could you? Couldn't even pretend to keep me happy. You just tore me down again and again so you didn't have to face the truth.'

'That's not true!'

'Isn't it? You couldn't love me in the way in the way I wanted you to. You always knew that.'

'I...I cared for you so much. I still... I still do. I'm s..sorry.' He stuttered out

'But you didn't care enough. You used me as a screen. A screen to hide what you really wanted, because I was a girl who looked like a boy and that was convenient for you. You used me when all I did was love you.'

'It wasn't like that!' Mike argued, the tears coming back.

'You made me love a queer like you.'

Mike just stood there, tears slowly falling down his face and too tired to argue. He was forever stuck between the space he didn't know whether he could ever truly accept himself, but hope he can.

'May... Maybe I.... I...'

'You didn't want me and Will would never want you. How could ever think he would? You will be forever alone, and no one will come to visit you as you take your last breaths because no one wants someone like you.'

He would be alone forever. He would be alone forever because he was too caught up in himself. Every day was a wrestling match with his brain when he tried to convince himself that it was ok, that it might be ok to like... to like boys. The other side always won. Always succeeded in letting him know what a disgusting excuse for a human being he was.

'We all know what you are. You thought you did such a good job of hiding it, but we saw right through it. You're broken. You're nothing but a mistake. You shouldn't be here and everyone knows it. Just look.'

As El moved to the side, he could see his parents stood in the doorway. They blocked any way in, holding hands firmly and forming a blockade, both looking down at Mike in abundant disappointment.

'You've always been a disappointment to the family, son. Now we know the reason why.' His Dad started, tutting at him as he looked him up and down.

Mike wrapped his arms around himself, covering any vulnerability they might start to tear apart.

'I can't believe we ever let you in our home. We welcomed you with open arms and this is how you repay us, being a fairy. You know, I tried my best in raising you. I took you out to play sports, but no, you didn't like that. I tried cars, but no, you didn't like getting your hands dirty. It was all for nothing. We should have known.'

He desperately tried to blink the tears back. He knew this wasn't real. He knew it wasn't, but with every passing minute it felt exactly like what he knew would happen if he ever... if, you know... he came out. He flicked his gaze over to his mom, who had been silent this entire time.

'Mom?' He called out.

'You are not welcome in this house.' His mom replied, a single tear coming out of her eye. 'Holly, stay behind me'

It was only know that he noticed Holly, clutching onto their mom's leg, looking at Mike like he was a complete stranger.

His own sister was scared of him.

He started backing away as quickly as he could. His progress was halted when he bumped into something behind him. He turned around to be met with Lucas and Dustin, two of his oldest friends, yet he couldn't recognise them here, not now.

'I can't believe you lied to us.' Dustin started, looking at Mike in complete disgust.

'You let us be your friend, when you knew all of this about yourself. You brought us into your life?' Lucas added, matching Dustin's expression.

'This isn't real.' He murmured to himself.

Mike couldn't stand to watch them. It felt like a lifetime that he has watched his friends in here hate him. He turned away, ready to take to the street of Hawkins again, but was met by another face.

'Maybe I should just let you die in here,' Nancy said. 'if this is the truth?'

'You aren't real!' He shouted as he ran away, far away from here.

'There's only so far you can run now Michael.' A deep voice called out. Vecna.

The houses surrounding him faded, leaving nothing but the vines on the floor and the beckoning thunder in the sky. And still Every Breath You take was playing, and he was no closer to finding a way out. He lost his footing, falling elbows first in the ground.

'Don't fight it Michael. You know its time.' Vecna goaded.

Mike tilted his head towards him. He was getting closer, footsteps getting louder and hands reaching out towards him. He scrambled up as quickly as he could.

'Will? Will!' He screamed. Will could always fix things. He made everything better. Why can't he help him here?

'Will! Please, please help me. Will!'

'He can't help you now. He never could'

Mike felt a slimy rope grab at his wrist, catapulting him back towards vecna. He hopelessly writhed around, wanting to find any way he could wrangle himself out of Vecna's power.

'This is for the best Michael. This way, you don't have to hide anymore. You don't have to hide from your friends and family anymore. You don't have to live knowing that you will never get what you truly want, because you are just too afraid.'

This was it for him. He knew his time would come at some point in the apocalypse. It was simple; survival of the fittest. But a part of him had hoped it would be peaceful, from an injury he could barely feel and in the arms of Will... in the arms of someone he loved. Because he did love him. Not admitting it is what had got him into this mess in the first place and now he was going to die with the last thing he heard being that fucking stupid song. He was going to die remembering what a liar he was.

He braced himself for the impact, scrunching his eyes closed and turning his face away, but he paused as he heard something different. Something new. He turned his head back, staring back at vecna.

Synth came crashing in, as the same alluring voice he listened to every day sang.

Cry, boy, cry

Smalltown boy.

The mystery as to how his friends knew, knew about his love for this song lay in his head. He only ever listened to the song on his walkman and slipped the cassette in as discreetly as possible. He couldn't let anyone know because he was terrified they would see right through him. He knew that they would know exactly what the song was about, and how it was the only way Mike had found to put his feelings into words.

Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

'It's too late Michael' Vecna insisted.

Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

Beyond vecna, he could see a bright window tear open. Through it he could see the back of himself, stood disturbingly still. Headphones were clamped down onto his head. He expected himself to move, to do something, which was stupid because he knew was stuck here, possessed in this trance.

Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

Around him, he could see everyone; Dustin, Lucas, El, Nancy and Robin. All stood around him, pacing and switching between grabbing their heads with their hands and making their expression of panic visible to Mike. As he watched each of them, the distress each of them felt was abundantly clear. He saw them shout and scream his name, begging him to just do something, to just run. Nancy stood in front of him, hands holding his shoulders, shaking him in a desperate attempt to get him out of this.

Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

But in the corner of the group, there he was. Will. His Will. Face bright red and tears streaming down his face. Robin was tightly holding onto him, seemingly to stop him from doing anything stupid or reckless. He had never seen Will like this ever, not even when he had been possessed himself. It was like a part of himself was being ripped out. Will's chest heaved up and down as he could stand and do nothing, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly.

Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

Above him, he felt that dreaded bony hand reach out above him, spreading all of its fingers out. Through the window, he watched as Nancy had no power to hold on and he rose into the air, body still limp. The group moved back, increasing their shouting in attempts to get through to Mike.

'Mike.' Will's hoarse voice called out. 'Please!'

Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

He had to get out. If not for him, then for that boy there. He's done enough to hurt Will for a life time. He's pushed him down, made him feel like he isn't good enough, when really he's plenty good enough. Way too good for Mike, yet Will clearly still felt something for him. Maybe vecna was wrong. Maybe Mike's been wrong this whole time. Maybe he isn't dirty and disgusting, like he tells himself everyday, as soon as he wakes up and when he falls asleep. It might be ok for him to be like this.

The friends he's seen in here, they're not his. His friends are the ones standing in from of him, begging to not lose him. Sure, knowing his favourite song isn't the same as coming out to them, but it feels like a baby step. One he has been terrified of taking for all this time. He knows people will hate him and look down upon him for being what he is. He's hated himself for years. But ultimately, how can it be wrong to feel this way when he feels this way about Will Byers. How wrong can it be to love the boy in front of him who wants nothing more for Mike to survive this.

He has to survive this.

You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case

'It is time for you to join me Michael.' Vecna taunted, fingers threatening to poke Mike's eyes out.

He wouldn't let this happen, he couldn't.

Do what Lucas said. Hide in the memory.

Alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on a sad and lonely face

'Never' Mike screamed, grabbing a piece of rubble with his free hand and pushing it in Vecna's throat.

The creature reared back in pain, dropping Mike and leaving him in a pile on the floor. He quickly shot up, and ran as fast as he possibly could.