Archive of Our Own ^beta

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"Sally?" Hollis hates the plaintive little crack in his voice, but he's scared, goddammit. It's been two hours and she (he?) won't come out. He has no idea what he would do if it was him in her place. No idea at all. "Please, Sal. Just say something. I'll leave you alone if you want."

"Hollis." The sound of his name in this new mouth is strange, but not unpleasant. It's honestly a little like Bill's voice, but huskier. "Hollis, this is really weird."

"I know. Is there anything I can do? Anything I could get you?"

"...I am awful hungry." A sudden laugh, like Sal's lost twin brother or something. "And I look ridiculous in this outfit!" He hadn't even thought of it, but even trying to begin to picture makes him laugh even while he feels like his brain is cracking.

"Jeez. Sorry, Sal."

"No, it is pretty funny. I think I could wear your clothes, or maybe Byron's. I'm taller than Eddie." A pause. "How's he taking it? How's everyone taking it?"

Hollis leans against the walls and counts their compatriots on his fingers. "Nelly's worried, HJ is worried and pretending not to be worried, Eddie seems to be in a state of shock, Byron is doling out booze like a St. Bernard in the Alps and it seems to be helping, Larry is trying to figure out how to spin it, and Bill is awaiting orders."

"What about you?"

"I'm worried because I know I would be panicking."

"Oh, I'm done panicking, sugar. That was just the first hour or so."

"Oh. Uh, clothes and food. I've got a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt that should work."

"No underwear?"

He flushes, glad he (she?) can't see it. "I'll see what I can find. Liverwurst sandwiches okay?"

"With onions and mustard, if we're got any. Make two. Hell, three, I've seen you guys eat."

"Yeah. Hang on, Sal. I'll be back." He scurries off, glad to have something to do. He stops by his room first for the clothes. The jeans are faded and worn and stained with fifteen kinds of engine grease, but they're clean. He folds them up along with clean underwear and the shirt, which is a nice forest green and will probably look good on her (him?). He tries to ignore the weird little shiver the thought of Sally in any form in his clothes gives him, and heads for the kitchen. The others are all there, huddled around the table in a little council of war.

"Fuck, I don't know how to sell a guy on sex appeal!" Larry groans, holding out his glass for Byron to refill it.

Nelly doesn't really drink, and even he has grimaced his way through some bourbon. "A more wholesome tone. Fix it so the parents of teenage girls don't mind seeing posters of him on their walls. Oh, Jesus, do you really think it's permanent?"

"Looking more like it all the time." Byron sighs.

"Shit." Eddie hiccups dismally, resting his head on his arms.

"Byron, how much have you let the kid drink?"

"Don't look at me, he stole some of Larry's." Eddie sobs quietly, and Hollis sighs, setting his bundle on the counter beside Ursula, going to the fridge to get the sandwich makings.

"That's right, she's still in her little nightdress." She picks up the clothes. "I'll take these to her." And she's gone, like a shadow. Hollis isn't sure it's a good idea or not, and follows as quickly as he can with the sandwiches neatly stacked and a beer in his free hand. Sally has always had the eating habits of a man anyway, just adjusted for size. He knocks at the door.

"Sal?"

"Come on in, Hollis." He does, to find Sal studying his (her?) face in the mirror. It's a nice face, sweet and boyish with a pretty mouth. The mole remains the same, and it's strangely shocking to see that the hair hasn't changed at all, except for being shaken out. Of course it hasn't, but the actual leonine red riot of it makes her (him?) look like Samson. Ursula is sitting on rim of the tub, smoking a black cigarette and looking somewhere between traumatized and amused.

"I think she looks very nice, if we must exchange the angel for the ape."

"Hey, I'm not even hairy. Kind of a disappointment, actually."

"Redheads hardly ever are." Hollis passes him (her?) the plate, and sits down next to Ursula, not certain of his knees.

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They all start calling her Sal, because it can be a boy's name, and she does her best to adjust. It's rough on everybody. Hollis and Eddie have never liked each other, but an uneasy bond forms as they both start to be afraid that they're faggots. Eddie's so afraid he can't even share a bathroom with Sal, but Hollis has always found it harder to not be around her than not. The pronouns have settled down. Female for the past, male for the present, and they all try not to think about the future. Sal seems okay. He's learned to write his name in the dust and not to jerk off before patrol, because coming knocks him right the hell out. He's delighted at how much more pressure it takes to cause pain, but he can't believe how stiff he is, and how easily tired compared to his former state. On the other hand, he loves arm-wrestling with Hollis because now he wins more often than not. If the clasp of their hands wakes dim memories of sharing a saddle with Shep Harper, who was two years older and had the greenest eyes Hollis has ever seen, he doesn't mention it. He wonders what happened to Shep, anyway.

Eddie wonders if he'll ever sleep again. He's dreamed of Sally, off and on, since he met her. Not too often. Every four to six weeks or so, and considering the tangled sticky riot of Eddie's dreams, that's not so often. He thinks he might be the horniest guy in the whole entire world, and feels a kind of dolorous honor in the distinction. But now... Fuck, he had actually asked Byron about it, simply because the little twerp knows his way around the kind of thing Eddie doesn't. He hadn't said what kind of dreams, or if she was a guy or a girl or something else in any of them. Really, he's sixteen. Byron fucking knows what kind of dreams.

"Well," he had said, shrugging thoughtfully as he pulled his stupid bug mask off, "it only makes sense. A lot of what goes on in dreams is processing. People go crazy if they don't dream."

"...So, if something crazy really happens, it shows up in your dreams a lot?"

"All the time." He had told Eddie a couple books to read and had gotten on with changing. The books had helped a little, even if that old bitch at the library had looked at him like something stuck to her fucking shoe and he had had to look up a bunch of the words. Not nearly enough, though. Dreams about getting assfucked by Sal are pretty solidly faggot territory, and dreams about fucking a guy with a pussy aren't much better. Then there are the ones with Sally with a cock, and the ones where she changes in the middle, and there are fucking teethmarks in his pillow and it feels like September's never gonna come.

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The only sign of how badly Sal wants to be a girl again is that he hasn't cut his hair. He keeps it back in a tail now, like some kind of eighteenth century artist or something, but it's loose around his face when Hollis follows the sound of weeping to the bathroom. His progress is slow, because Moloch had some something horrible to his left leg with pressure points, and it hasn't really worn off yet. He's not even sure if the voice is Sal or Nelly until he gets there.

"Hey." Sal's head snaps up guiltily, and Hollis limps over to sit on the counter beside him. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, it's stupid." Sal sniffles, scrubbing at his eyes. "I'm just vain. I'm so ugly now, compared to how I used to be."

Hollis shakes his head. "Nah, Sal. Guys can be beautiful, and you are." He's not a homo. Not at all, but it's true and it seems to make Sal feel a little better and suddenly he's kissing Hollis and oh. It shouldn't be so good, but Sal's lips are almost preternaturally soft, and Hollis can't help making a small noise when one strong hand grips the back of his neck. Hollis rests one hand on Sal's waist, where there's still a slight curve to support it, and the other holds onto Sal's shoulder, fingers digging in harder than they would have before.

"Hollis." Sal breathes. "You've always been so sweet." He kisses the side of Hollis's neck, and he shivers, whimpering when it turns into a bite.

"Sal..." He whispers, kissing him on the mouth again. "I just don't care what you are." A heavy, hesitant hand on his chest, and he can't help but think of Shep again, for one fleeting moment, and then Sal is kissing him senseless, pressing him back against the mirror. His scent is almost the same, and Hollis moans into his mouth, hands sliding up that broad back to knot themselves into his hair. Sal bites his neck again, harder than before, and he shocks himself by moaning softly.

"Thought you might like that." He can hear Sal grinning, over the the rush of blood in his ears, and when one hand slides down to squeeze him through his costume he almost breaks the mirror by thumping his head back against it, moaning again.

"Oh Christ, Sal..." It's hard to even be embarrassed at how strained and hungry he sounds, because Sal is slowly kneading him, and it's so good and the confinement hurts but in a way that makes him pant and hope he's not released too soon.

"Should've done this a long time ago." Sal mutters, and slides down to kneel on the floor, dragging the briefs down to lick him slowly, chuckling at the sharp whine Hollis lets out. He says something breathless and brainless about how he doesn't have to do this, that it's okay, and then is panting and groaning too much to speak. He's quiet. He always is, but there's no way he can keep forming words when Sal sucks him all the way down, fitting him neatly into an experienced throat and swallowing around him over and over. He can't possibly last long under this assault, and he doesn't, whimpering a warning and coming so hard it feels like dying. His vision has actually greyed out, and only comes back after Sal has swallowed, coughed, and gotten himself a drink of water, rock hard.

"Let... let me take care of that." Hollis whispers, blushing bright red because dammit, he's still not a homo but it's Sal, and that's different. Sal blushes and tells him he doesn't have to, and he just shakes his head and takes Sal's place on the floor. It's... shockingly easy. He can't take it deep like Sal does, but the shallow rocking of his hips strokes Hollis's tongue in a way that feels incredible. The taste is strange, but clean, and if he's drooling a little, Sal seems to like it. He's moaning quietly around his mouthful by the end, loving Sal's hands on his head. He garbles a warning and then does his level best to drown Hollis in spunk. It tastes awful, but Sal swallowed, so Hollis does the same. They both pause and catch their breath, and then Hollis accepts a hand up, in real need of it because his injured leg has locked up on him. He gets his own drink of water, and soon Sal is working on his leg for him, getting the knee to flex again.

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Hollis has never considered the implications of two male libidos in concert before. But now, bent over his own desk, he thinks about all the times a girl has stopped him from doing something rash. He kind of misses it. Kind of. Sal grinds so deep into him that it hurts a little and makes his knees shake, and he groans, his forehead thumping against the desk as he lets it drop. He hadn't expected to enjoy this, but had agreed out of a sense of fairness and because Sal's cock has a voice in negotiations and a few ideas of its own. And also because fucking Sal, wonderful as it is, depresses him. Only a little, but he had wanted so desperately to be inside Sally, and still does. It's not the same and it makes them both ache for her true form. All hope is far from lost, though, and the image of Sally in a strap-on that forms in his head gives him a sudden jolt of lust that makes him whine and twitch, clamping down.

"Fuck, you're so tight." Sal growls, and Hollis blushes, arching his spine as the heavy hands on his hips pull him back.

"Sal..." His voice quavers, and he yanks at his own hair in ecstatic agony before clawing at the blotter again. Sal wraps a hand around his cock, and he bites his arm to hold back a cry, coming in a silent paroxysm. Sal follows, muffling his own shout with Hollis's shoulder, the hard bite making him whimper.

They're just starting to pick themselves up when "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" rings through the room, starting with the bass bellow Eddie's voice has mostly turned into and cracking into treble clef halfway through.

Sal tosses his hair back in a gesture like the ghost of a girl, not even pulling out of Hollis. "What does it look like, Eddie?" And Hollis realizes that Eddie probably can actually see the point where they join, glistening and pornographic. He's blushing again, but he's not going to give Eddie the satisfaction of covering his face.

"You're... queer?"

"No, I'm Sally with a pecker, and Sally still likes boys." He gives Hollis's ass an affectionate pat and slides out, pulling her costume back on. Hollis scrambles into his own, thinking about how it's going to be hell to clean. Eddie just stares at them with comically huge eyes. Hollis blinks to see that the kid is rock hard, and Sal smiles as he notices the same thing.

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When Sal asks them to kiss each other, they're taken aback. It seems... well, so much queerer than doing this kind of thing with Sal as a buffer. Sal's true nature shines through in the weirdest ways and at the weirdest moments, illuminating something that's not entirely gay. Hollis is already uncomfortable with that because of Eddie's youth, and now he's kneeling on the foot of Sal's bed, letting that husky voice talk him into it. It doesn't take as much talking as it should. Eddie looks about as fragile and innocent as Satan, and he does have a beautiful mouth. It's so much softer than the words that come out of it, and almost before he knows it, Hollis is lightly brushing his lips over the kid's, just testing the texture. Soft. A lot softer than he thought, actually. Petal-smooth, even, and it seems ludicrous that any part of Eddie can feel like this.

Their breath mingles, and Hollis draws back when Eddie tries to get on with it. Not enough to stop, but enough to keep things just like this for a few more moments, hovering. Eddie lets out a needy little whine, and Hollis finally kisses him sweet and slow, tongue flicking out to taste him. Sal moans and Eddie growls, suddenly grabbing Hollis's hair and shoving him onto his back. He's way rougher than Sal ever is, and he moans into Hollis's mouth, rubbing against his leg. "Aw fuck, Hollis..." He whimpers, burying his face in Hollis's neck. He mumbles something desperate and ashamed about how he's wanted to do this forever, about how there have been times when he could have just killed Hollis for having that ass in that costume, and how he'll kill him now if he laughs. He sounds overwrought and almost angry, but he's still hard, and Hollis's neck is suspiciously damp. Eddie is volatile, bouncing between timidity and aggression, and he whimpers as Hollis slowly rubs his back.

"Easy, boy." Hollis murmurs. "We'll take care of you." He slides Eddie's faded boxers off, and the kid moans, sinking his teeth into Hollis's neck. He can feel Eddie's heartbeat in his cock, and he remembers being that young. The smoothness of his skin surprises Hollis, and he takes a moment to grope Eddie's ass, making him whimper. "Now," he says softly, making Sal moan again from where he's been watching this whole time. "What do you want?"

"Anything." Eddie moans. "Anything you want to do to me, please, Hollis..."

Hollis reaches for the lube, and Sal hands it to him, trembling with lust. His eyes are nearly all pupil, and his hardon looks painful. "You can stop me any time you like, Eddie." Hollis murmurs, trailing two slick fingers down the cleft of his ass. It's a nicer ass than he would have thought. He rubs slowly over Eddie's tight little hole, and the kid mewls.

"Oh Jesus, just put one in! Fuck, I can't take this..." Hollis gives him two, and he groans, shuddering. "Oh fuck yeah, like that..." He murmurs, rocking his hips and apparently no longer caring about how gay this is. Hollis chuckles. "Mmm, deeper..." Hollis blushes, and realizes that he's probably the only person in his bed who ever will, allowing a few for Eddie's youth.

"Always knew you were dirty."

"Dirty but honest. Put in another one."

"Your wish is my command." He slides them all out, adding more lube before Eddie has time to complain, pressing three back in and twisting slowly, stretching him wide open. He yelps, and at first Hollis worries that it hurts.

"Do that again." Eddie groans, and Hollis laughs, obliging him.

"Boys, I'm about to fucking die over here, okay?" Sal says, his voice cracking a little.

"So flip a coin for who gets to fuck me and who gets his cock sucked." Eddie says, and it sounds a tiny bit like a joke, so he can turn it that way if they reject it (and him), and it makes Hollis's chest hurt. It seems to have a similar effect on Sal, who crawls over to kiss him.

"Whose cock do you want to suck, baby?"

Hollis whimpers, and Sal smiles at him with fond amusement. "Y-yours." Eddie whispers, suddenly shy again.

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Stretched out between them, Eddie is quieter than Sal has ever seen him. He's not silent or still, not by a long shot, but his radiating tension has turned into a deep and happy languor. He wallows in the sheet, grinding slowly back on Hollis, the sleek lines of his back shifting with the movement of his hips. He's already come once, but of course he's up for more. Hadn't even missed a beat, just shuddered and moaned around Sal's cock. Hollis had whimpered and held still for a moment, then started up again. Sal tugs at Eddie's hair, and he makes the softest little mewling noise.

"Aw, aren't you cute." Sal murmurs, the words coming out slightly menacing in a male voice. Eddie quivers, and looks up at him pleadingly as Sal traces his stretched lips with one fingertip. "Later you should tell us how you got so good at this."

He pulls off with a wet pop that makes Hollis blush for about the millionth time, and grins. "Tell you now, if you want." He pauses, panting as Hollis rocks into him. "Aw Christ, right there..." His eyes flutter shut, and he squeaks when Sal tugs him up by his hair to kiss him, the sound deepening to a groan before he pulls away, wild-eyed and glowing. "Hey, I was gonna answer your damn question, Sal."

"So you were, baby." She bites his neck and he clamps down on Hollis.

"Oh... All right, anyway. I'm a natural." He grins.

"Gonna tell us you've never done this before?" Hollis murmurs, nails digging into Eddie's hips for a moment, pulling him back.

"Not with guys, but I did get some advice from a couple of fairies I know."

"So talented." Sal coos, and Eddie laughs again, interrupting himself to cry out as Hollis reaches around to stroke him slowly.

"Why don't you get back to work, Eddie? I was enjoying the show."

Eddie whines, and sucks Sal down again, moaning when he pulls his hair. None of them can last very long after all this, and it's actually Sal who goes off first, all over Eddie's face. Eddie yelps in surprise and then groans miserably when Hollis slides out of him. "Dammit, Hollis..."

"Quit complaining." He rolls Eddie onto his back, and the kid looks up at him with wide eyes. "Ssshh." Hollis kisses him, and slowly licks him clean as he thrusts into him again. Eddie moans and wraps his legs around Hollis, clutching at his shoulders. Sal isn't sure which of them comes first, because it happens at nearly the same time. He is sure that it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Naturally, Eddie has to act like a horse's ass about it. But he and Hollis have a short and instructive fistfight that turns into something else entirely once Hollis is pinned to the wall, and the three of them settle into... something, anyway. Every now and again Eddie's age slaps Hollis across the face and he mutters grimly about rape statutes and sodomy laws until one or both of them shut him up. Eddie finally admits that when he's surly about a black eye he got it at home, and by the time Sal is a girl again, he's living with her.

The change occurs as suddenly in reverse as it had the first time. She just wakes up one morning and starts laughing and crying at the same time. Hollis and Eddie are jolted out of sleep by her voice, and kissing her tears away turns into three hours of worshiping every familiar inch of her that they have never touched. They don't have any rubbers since they've been three men this whole time, but they're both happy to bury their faces in her and rock between her tits until finally, sticky and glutted like children after devouring a treat, Hollis manages to stagger down to a drugstore. They don't call Larry for another three hours.