Work Text:
•♡• Belly •♡•
"I'm sorry," he says, and I know that he means it. But, I can't quite tell what he's sorry for. Is he sorry for forgetting the corsage? For dragging me out of the prom? For coming to prom in the first place?
We're on the porch of our prom venue. The rain is pouring, and Conrad is looking at me like we're about to break up.
My words catch in my throat as I try to figure out what to say. They stumble over themselves for a few moments before I can finally get them out. "I know this is hard... with everything going on, but please don't shut me out."
Conrad has a habit of doing that, shutting me out. He's always done it, ever since we were kids. He always wants to take on the burden alone. I think it's his way of pleasing people. Everyone is happy because Conrad takes on their burdens while he stands miserable. I hope, one day, he'll share those burdens with me. However, right now, I'm worried he might shut me out for good.
Ever since it was revealed that Susannah, Conrad's mom, had cancer again, he's been shutting me out more and more. It doesn't help that Conrad lives so far away from his mom, and she's only getting worse. Susannah says the only times she sees Conrad smile is when he's with me.
He's looking everywhere but me when he says, "I feel like I just keep disappointing you."
I shake my head, "No, no. You haven't, and you aren't."
He looks up to the porch ceiling, "But, but I have, I have. All I've done today is disappoint you, and you don't deserve that."
We've had our arguments, I know that we're not perfect, but right now I'm in uncharted territory. I don't know how to handle this.
Nonetheless, I take his hand in mine, "You don't get to decide if you're disappointing me," I say, "only I can decide that."
I'm scared that he'll pull his hand away, that this is the end of us. I look into his eyes and shake my head, "And you're not disappointing me."
Conrad looks down, his eyes on his feet, "But I am," he looks at me again, "I fucked up the corsage, and we`ve barely danced all night, and you're obviously not having a good time!" He's almost yelling now.
I thought that he knew me well enough to know that I didn't care about any of that stuff, but apparently not. "I don't care about any of that stuff!"' I say wholeheartedly. "I don't care about the corsage or the dancing. I care that you're here! I care that you showed up." My eyes are swimming with tears now. I know that this could be our last time together.
"I wouldn't care if we left right now! I wouldn't care if we went to McDonald's and spent the rest of the night there. I wouldn't care if we went home and watched a movie. All I care about is that you're here," I continue
There are tears in Conrad's eyes now, "Belly," he looks down again, "I just wanted this to be perfect for you."
I smile sadly, "I don't need this to be perfect, I just need you.
We're both crying now. I place both my hands on his face and wipe away his tears. "I just need you," I repeat.
He's openly crying now, so I pull him into a hug and bury my face into his neck. After a few moments, he pulls back. His hands skim down my arms. He puts his hands in mine. "I'm sorry," he says.
I shake my head again, "Don't be."
I know he wants to tell me he's sorry again, but I speak before he can, "Can we go?" I ask. His face falls. "I'd rather go watch a movie with you than go back in and dance to crappy music for another hour," I say. "Besides, my makeup is ruined," I say playfully.
Conrad's giving me that smirk, the one that says I'm being dumb, but he loves me anyway. His eyes are red and puffy, and I wasn't lying about my mascara being ruined, but he kisses me on the crown of my head anyway
He brushes my hair out of my face and nods, "Yeah, of course."
Before either of us can make another move, the door next to us opens. My brother, Steven, stands there. My brother sees my ruined makeup and puffy eyes. His eyes dart over to Conrad.
I know that Steven hates the thought of Conrad and I dating, but I also know that he would punch Conrad if he ever broke my heart. "What's going on?" Steven asks uneasily.
I look back at Conrad before smiling at my brother, "Everything's fine, Steven. Me and Conrad are going home. We'll see you there in a little bit."
My brother steps forward and puts a hand on my shoulder, "You sure?"
"Yeah," I nod towards the doors Steven came out of, "go have fun."
Steven nods apprehensively and starts to walk back into prom, "You too. Tell Mom I'll be back soon," he calls over his shoulder.
I look back at Conrad to find he's already looking at me. He leans in to kiss me briefly, but sincerely. He smiles at me and says, "Ready to go home?"
I nod and kiss his cheek, I want to hear him say those four words forever.