Chapter Text
Violet and Xaden finally have some alone time. Her squad is training flight maneuvers with Felix, her brother is doing who knows what, and Tairn and Sgaeyl are not bothering their riders for once; probably off spending time to themselves.
After she discovered Xaden’s betrayal, she was furious with him. She spiraled into a months-long battle over her self-worth, wondering if what they had was even real. She knew he did love her, his actions told her that much, but why would he refuse to open up to her when she had given him her entire heart; that had been trampled with the weight of betrayal?
Violet has forgiven him; but only after distancing herself for several months. She understands his choices and the decisions he was forced to make. If the roles were reversed, she would do the same as he had done. She knows this because she’s had to. Xaden told her before he left Basgiath to not share the news of the venin and wyvern with her squad; just in case their loyalty to Navarre was stronger than their bonds with her. She had disagreed with him but understood his logic. He’d given everything for the Tyrrs, and if she came waltzing along and ruined everything he had worked for in the past six years because she couldn’t keep her mouth shut, she’d never forgive herself.
In the year since Resson, she and Xaden have grown close once more. They share his quarters, they kiss and touch innocently throughout the days, and they’re never apart. The only thing they have not done since she’s forgiven him is sleep together.
Violet cannot help but be nervous to take that step. They’ve been intimate before, but now that they’ve both expressed their love for each other, it’s bound to mean more. That is not a bad thing, she reasons, but she’s not sure she’s ready for the commitment. Once it happens, it’s bound to happen more frequently.
With that, she has a big problem. She does not want that intimacy right now, not for a while. She knows Xaden would always back off if she were uncomfortable in an intimate situation, but she’s worried about how he’d react afterward. After all, she’s normally almost as insatiable as he is.
She wants to wait because she wants to establish their non-sexual relationship and strengthen it first, but also because she’s been…forced. In the last year, she’s had to “reestablish” her relationship with Dain– not only to keep up the ruse of her hating Xaden and the Marked ones but also so he doesn’t get too curious and find out she was spying for the rebellion at Basgiath.
He was laughably easy to seduce, and once he’d fallen asleep after that first time, she began to hate herself. She truly did not want to be anywhere near Dain after his part in Liam’s death, and she certainly did not want to sleep with him. Her body had known, and she’d have to fake her pleasure every time– all while Dain happily believed she’d changed back to the woman he’d known before she joined the Rider’s Quadrant; the naive little girl who wanted him and turned her back to his manipulations.
Xaden’s been giving her pointed stares; clearly, he has plans for their free time. Tonight, she’s going to agree. She’ll be with him and keep her eyes open the entire time. She’ll also do her best to subtly convince him to always be within her line of sight. Hopefully, she’ll be able to enjoy it with him without being reminded of the man hundreds of miles away.
Chapter 2
Notes:
I'm not proud of this one, but it turned out okay I guess.
I have PTSD myself, so I tried to give Violet the same experience I often have around my triggers. I don't like how I made her sound weak, but eh. PTSD takes it out of you, so it fits the disorder but not the character.
Chapter Text
Gods, Violet missed his touch.
It set her alight like the sweetest wine; so perfect she never wanted to lose this feeling. And yet, something’s wrong. He’s above her, kissing her thoroughly, his tongue sweeping behind her teeth at each pass. It feels so right. Her legs are around his waist, and she feels trapped, at his mercy in the best way.
His shirt was discarded long ago, and her nails scour the one hundred and seven scars on his back. His right hand is gripping her waist tightly, his left buried in her hair. Her hands are on his face, in his hair, his nape, trying to get him closer.
His eyes have been closed, focusing on her, making her pleasure his priority. Her eyes have stayed open. She knows if she closes them, a different man’s face will appear in her mind– one she does not want to see. As Xaden’s kisses trail from her lips to her throat, she cannot help the feminine sigh. He smirks up at her before returning to her neck and her collarbones.
They’ve been tangled together in their bed for an hour now, and their heated foreplay has Violet hoping that maybe she won’t react poorly to his touch if she closes her eyes. Maybe, if she keeps chanting his name, both in her mind and out loud, she won’t remember the unpleasant touch of Dain’s hands.
She shivered at the memory– how he had been rough with her. Usually, with Xaden, she loves it rough and hot and quick. But not without that love connection. With Dain, he was too rough. She still has bruises from his too-sharp kisses and his too-strong hands. The worst part is her body refused to respond to his despondent touches. To make Dain believe she did want him, she had to imagine the hottest moments between her and Xaden. All Dain cared about during their trysts was his pleasure. Once he was done, even if she had yet to find her pleasure, he would back off and leave. She’d have to take care of it herself every time– the whole time imagining Xaden was there with her. He’d never allow this immature behavior. She knew he’d likely beat Dain within an inch of his life to protect her dignity and ensure his respect.
Now, though, as Xaden was with her, she knew she had nothing to fear. Her man would stop at nothing to protect her. And she would gladly do the same. They were it for each other. Not only because of their mated dragons but because they truly loved each other. They knew the other’s limits and always knew when to push or when to pull back. They knew subconsciously when the other needed time or if they needed physical comfort.
So when hers and Xaden’s foreplay ended, her eyes closed in ecstasy. Mistake number one. He gathered her arms above her head, his kisses becoming less frequent. He was rough, never enough to truly harm, but rough enough her mind spiraled.
“Dain no,” she said, and not of pleasure. The man immediately froze. “Stop, please– I can’t.”
Before she could open her eyes, Xaden was off of her. “Violet,” he whispered.
She was shaking. “Dain no, no!” She cried, thrashing. “No! No, no, no….” He was still on top of her– she could see his smirk. His amber eyes full of lust made hers widen. No, Dain was her childhood friend– he wouldn’t do this. He…he couldn’t. She trusted him.
“Silver One!” She froze at the sound of Tairn’s roar. “Open your eyes.” She did and was met with tan skin and onyx eyes. “You are safe. The Wingleader is not here.”
“Xaden?” No, she was at Basgiath– why was he here? No, he’s not real. She curled into a ball, her arms over her head. Dain was still here somewhere, wasn’t he? Waiting for her to break so he can have his way with her. She was sobbing, tears flooding her vision and making her more panicked. If Dain was still here, she was still in danger. She needed her daggers. Where’s Tairn? He should be on the flight field. Andarna should be with him. Damn it, her lightning. She wanted to strike the man in front of her. But he’s not real. He’s not here. He should be in Aretia. She’s spying for him, and yet he’s here. Why is he naked? Why is she naked? Oh gods, that means he was having sex with her. But that means…
As her spiral deepened, she began to cry harder, occasionally thrashing. She had to protect herself. Dain was still here. She needed a weapon. Her corset would protect her body. She needed her dragon. But he was too big to fit here. She was on her own. The door opened and she cowered further. A hand touched her leg and she kicked out. “No! Dain no,” She cried out, borderline screaming.
The same hand touched her arm, and she whimpered. Her heart was pounding. Gods she was so scared. Her fear consumed her and made her cower more. No, she was a rider. She needed to get a grip and defend herself. She jolted up and reached for the dagger she always kept on her nightstand and held it tightly. Backing up to the headboard, she folded her knees over her chest as a last line of defense. Holding the dagger out with shaking hands, she pointed it at the man. “Get away from me!” She screamed, her lungs burning with the effort. The man flinched and stepped back, holding his hands up. Her tears cascaded over her face, clouding her eyes and making her vision blurry. Her hand holding the dagger was shaking so much she felt like a child. Except she wasn’t. She was a General’s daughter for gods’ sake. She would go down like one.
“Violet!” Tairn roared and she jolted.
“Tairn,” she whimpered. “Help me…”
A different dragon’s voice invaded her mind. “Girl, you need to calm down. You are safe.”
Her vision cleared and she abruptly dropped the dagger. “Xaden,” she whispered. His head jerked up and he quickly crossed the room. Grabbing the dagger, he set it back on the nightstand.
“Violet? You with me?” She nodded shakily. “Where are you?”
“I’m not sure…” she cried. “Basgiath?”
He frowned and shook his head. “No, my love, you’re in Aretia. Remember? You left Basgiath to come home to me. You spied for us.”
Hesitantly, she nodded. “D- Dain’s not here?” She needed to know. He shook his head and she relaxed, crawling to him, crying tears full of relief.
Xaden held her tightly, letting her cry into his shoulder. Once she calmed, he leaned back to look into her eyes. “What happened at Basgiath? What did Aetos do?”
She shook her head. “Tairn, please tell him… I can’t. Too raw.”
She watched as Xaden’s eyes went distant, speaking with Tairn. She could hear the conversation. “The wingleader grew suspicious of Silver One’s espionage. My rider had to resort to mating with the boy to prevent him from learning the truth.” She could hear her dragon’s barely contained rage, murderous intent making Tairn’s voice deeper and more rough than usual. “I felt her fear one night and entered her mind. She had asked him to stop his mating and he refused. I was a talon’s width of restraint away from torching the boy.”
After her dragon’s explanation, she feels Xaden stiffen. “Violet,” like Tairn, his voice was thick with the promise of violence. “Is that true?” She nodded. She did not want to talk about it but it was comforting to have his protection, even if she didn’t need it. “I am going to kill him. Slowly.” Snapping his gaze back to hers, he visibly softened. “Violet, I’m so sorry I triggered that. Please tell me if I make you feel weird or uncomfortable.” She nodded again.
“You don’t make me uncomfortable, Xaden, it’s the memories.” He nodded she snuggled closer. His arms were back around her in a second, protecting her. “I did what I thought I needed to. I was scared of how you’d react.”
“I’m angry, yes, but not with you. Never with you. I want to tear that piece of shit apart until his father cannot even recognize the pieces as human. Until his dragon has nothing left to mourn.” The violence should not have made her feel better, but it did. It made her feel safe that he was willing to go to such extremes for her.
As he held her, she could feel the exhaustion from her earlier episode catching up with her. As her eyes fluttered shut, she made sure the man with her was Xaden one last time before allowing herself to sleep. He held her tightly the entire time, her sword and shield.
cabin12kiddos on Chapter 1 Wed 20 Nov 2024 06:48AM UTC
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lauberry on Chapter 2 Fri 14 Jun 2024 08:00PM UTC
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