Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Maomao finished hanging the last of the laundry, pinning the sheet in place as she lowered herself off her toes and back down onto her feet. The sun was just warm enough to have her sweating, a trickle of it sliding down the back of her neck to trail her spine as she unrolled her sleeves. There were only a few more chores to be completed before Maomao was free to do as she wanted for the evening, a privilege afforded to her for working in Jinshi’s manor.

Picking up the basket she turned to head back to the laundry room as purple robes caught her attention. Peering around the corner she spotted Jinshi and Gaoshun returning from one of their many meetings that day.

Everytime Maomao interacted with Jinshi his demeanor was always childish or playful, as if his intent was always to annoy her into a reaction that he wanted. Seeing the serious side of Jinshi was fairly rare, only when the situation seemed particularly difficult did he let her see him stressed and worried. But in moments like this, when she was watching him from somewhere unnoticed, she could see his mask as he presented it to others. He marched across the walkway with a regal determination, his posture straight and his face carefully blank. It was as if she was watching the shell of him walk around while he was lost somewhere in thought.

“It doesn’t suit him.” She mumbled to herself, unnerved by the sight. As much as it didn’t suit him, she was in no position to do anything without stepping over the boundary of her position.

And yet.

“Suiren?” Maomao called as she entered the laundry room, placing her empty basket beside the others. The older woman hummed a response, not bothering to look as she continued to fold the clothes she had pulled from the other line. “I’ve hung the sheets, what else needs to be done?”

“Master Jinshi’s dinner should have arrived by now.” Maomao nodded to herself, tasting wasn’t required of her but she had insisted on it. Another perk of working there.

Maomao lingered at the door, her hand tapping against her leg as she considered. If Suiren noticed her hesitation she didn’t seem to mind it, continuing to fold laundry as she waited patiently for Maomao to gather her words.

“Do we have any of that tea I brought back the last time I visited my father?”

Suiren nodded, a small knowing smile on her face as she turned to look at her. Maomao avoided her eyes, staring at the wall as if she was unaware that the woman was looking at her.

“I believe we do. Shall I make some for Master Jinshi tonight?”

Maomao had asked her father for the tea leaves with the guise that they were for Suiren, and had presented it to the woman under the same guise. The tea was known for relaxing the mind and body, an effective medicine for those under constant stress. Suiren had listened to Maomao’s lie with a growing smile, before she put it away with a comment about how much Jinshi was sure to appreciate her concern.

“Do what you want.” Maomao mumbled, “but he did look particularly stressed today.” She quickly ducked out of the laundry room, avoiding further comment from Suiren as she slowly made her way towards the kitchen instead.

Despite herself she found herself peeking around the corner to the walkway again, but Jinshi was long gone. Not that she minded, it was nice to have a break from the man and his constant prodding at her nerves, but this time the break had seemed much longer. His workload had increased, and clearly something important was being discussed in the meetings that he was being dragged into. Important and concerning, if the troubled look she often caught on his face was anything to go by.

Not that it was Maomao’s place to know, nor was it her nature to worry about others without being prompted. At least that’s what she told herself in the moments that she found herself wondering if he was doing okay.

The food was still warm when she entered the kitchen, though the attendant that had brought it seemed to have been long gone. In any other part of the inner palace it would have been concerning that an attendant was not waiting with the food, but in Jinshi’s pavilion it was hardly a concern or uncommon considering how few people came through his quarters. Maomao uncovered the dishes, mindlessly taking small bites of each dish as she thought about what else she could do for Jinshi.

She never openly expressed her concern about his wellbeing, but Suiren and Gaoshun would usually let her know when something was wrong and ask for her assistance. It was only lately that she did so without prompting from either of them. While she did her best to pass it off as her job, she couldn’t in good faith say that she was wholly unconcerned about the man though if asked she would say it was for Gaoshun and Suiren’s benefit.

A sleeping draft would be a good start, Maomao mused as she ate, perhaps something to keep him awake during those meetings? I could also-

A sharp but familiar aftertaste hit her mouth, quickly coating her tongue until it was all she could taste. Her heart seemed to freeze with the rest of her, her mind spiraling as she tried to understand her body’s instinctual reaction. She stood there, spoon still against her lips as her mind caught up.

She had tasted this before, years ago back in Luomen’s home. It clung to her memories just as it clung to the back of her throat now. But it wasn’t just the poison that came to her mind, though she could already feel a tingling in her throat from it.

It was the face behind the poison.

The spoon clattered against the floor as Maomao quickly shoved her fingers in her throat to force herself to vomit up the poison, falling to the floor as the wretching shook her. Her mind whirled through her past efforts to cure herself of it, trying to remember what concoctions had done the best - delayed the symptoms the longest. How long had she been able to go the last time? When had even been the last time she had tasted this poison?

When was the last time the Reaper paid a call to her?

“Xiaomao?” Suiren’s concerned voice reached her, the sound of something hitting the ground before the woman’s hands were on her. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

Maomao cursed internally, her mind was still spinning too much for her to focus on other people’s reactions to her and any distraction at the moment could lead to an unfortunate outcome for her.

“Don’t let anyone touch that food.” Maomao choked out, forcing herself to stand and run out of the room before Suiren could call anyone else for help. She made for her rooms; at the very least she had charcoal and some other general antidotes that she always had made for worst case scenarios. They would at least be able to mitigate some of the immediate symptoms so she wouldn’t look so haggard when she made it to the medical pavilion to get something stronger.

She scrambled, her finger uncooperative as she tried and failed a few times to open the pouch she kept in her drawer. She quickly swallowed the charcoal, already searching for the next pouch as she downed the entire contents.

The poison was called “Reaper’s Kiss” as far as she knew, though she was certain that wasn’t its real name. It was a poison that came from another region, a plant as far as she could tell and probably one that wasn’t well known. Everything she knew about it came from her experiments or word of mouth, she had never been able to find it in text.

It was almost always lethal, though low doses of it could apparently take weeks to kill an adult depending on their tolerance for it. Maomao had done her best over the course of years to try and build up a tolerance but without consistent access to the poison or the antidote she hadn’t done a very good job.

There was only one person that she had ever known to use the poison, the same person that supplied her with it and the antidote but never told her how to make either. He was a psychopath as far as Maomao was concerned, but she had often agreed to meet with him because he was well versed in poisons and often carried several on him. While his knowledge of obscure poisons far exceeded he own, she was more versed in their cures and thus they had formed a business agreement back home. He would bring her poisons and teach her about them, in return she would poison herself with them and create an antidote.

The only exception was the Reaper’s Kiss.

He had never shared the poison’s origin, and since he already had the antidote there was nothing Maomao could use to convince him. The rare times he would leave some of the poison with her he would come back the next day to a very sickly Maomao and feed her the antidote with a self satisfied smirk before leaving town for months.

He liked to call himself the Reaper, though Maomao knew him as Shuai.

Maomao felt her heart slowing down, the tremors leaving her body with just a dull sheen of sweat on her skin where the fever had started to take her. The taste still lingered in her mouth as she let herself sit on the floor and take deep breaths as she thought.

There were three options, though none of them were ideal.

Option one: Shuai had given or sold some of the poison to someone and they in turn had brought it to the inner court to poison Master Jinshi. The most ideal outcome if she could be sure that Shuai had also given them the antidote.

Option two: The Reaper’s kiss had made its way into underground markets without Shuai’s influence, which would be even less ideal if it was being circulated without the antidote. Though she imagined if it was being widely spread she would have heard about it by now.

Option three: Shuai himself had come to the inner court and wanted Master Jinshi dead.

As much as Maomao hated to admit it, the third option was her best bet at survival. Not that she thought Shuai would save her out of fondness, but she was confident she could strike some sort of deal with him. Even someone like him valued his life, and with Maomao the only person who currently knew about the poisoning she could offer him an alternative telling of events that could save his life.

The idea didn’t sit well with her, her mind instantly shunned the thought of saving the man that had just attempted to poison Master Jinshi, but she needed to get her hands on the antidote and logically she needed to consider all her options.

“Maomao?!” Jinshi appeared in her doorway, his breathing heavy as his hands reached down to grab her wrist. He dragged her harshly to her feet before she could protest, hands uncharacteristically touching her forehead, cheeks, and neck as his eyes roamed her face. “Suiren told me what happened, why wouldn’t you immediately go to the medical pavilion?” His voice was angry, but it shook in a way that Maomao blamed on the exhaustion she saw in his face.

The bags under his eyes were impossible to ignore, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days which she was almost fairly positive was the most likely case . She opened her mouth to warn him about the poison then shut it again harshly. She knew the right thing was the tell him, tell him so that they could be on guard for other attempts. Tell him so that they could find who did it and get the antidote faster.

But if it was Shuai, if she was to bargain with him effectively, she couldn’t give him up right away. She needed something in her back pocket in case he refused to help her. Telling Jinshi now would stir obvious panic and it was more likely that Shuai would slip away as soon as he spotted trouble, ensuring her death and leaving Jinshi open to a future attempt with her not there to catch it.

With guilt heavy in her chest, she pulled herself from Jinshi’s grasp.

“I’m fine, Master Jinshi. It was an aphrodisiac, nothing more.” The lie came easily; it would not be the first time someone had attempted to seduce her Master in this way, though it would be the most underhanded. Still, she couldn’t meet his eyes as she used her sleeves to wipe at her face. “It was just stronger than I was used to, thus I came to fetch the medicine I keep in my room for these situations.”

“I thought you were immune to these things?” She could feel him staring at her, but she couldn’t bring herself to meet his stare. A bitter taste that had nothing to do with the poison filled her mouth.

“Even I am not immune to everything, Master Jinshi.” She bowed to him, hoping to end their conversation quickly so she could fetch the medicine she needed. “I am sorry to delay your dinner, but I advised Suiren not to allow anyone to eat the meal. You should request another meal be made for you.”

Silence hung between them until eventually Jinshi sighed, the tension immediately dispersing. Maomao peeked over her hands to see him leaning against the wall, his shoulders slumped and a hand covering his face. Something in her chest twinged uncomfortable before she forced it back down.

“Next time please try to explain to Suiren more clearly before you go running off, would you?”

“My apologies, Master Jinshi.” He waved off her apology, pinching the bridge of his nose as he stood up and turned to leave.

“I suppose I’ll need to launch an investigation into who felt the need to do this.”

“Allow me, Master Jinshi. You have enough on your plate right now.” Surprised, Jinshi turned to Maomao with his eyebrows raised.

“It’s unlike you to offer your time without getting anything in return.” Maomao bit her tongue on her retort, admitting that she would have done any of the other investigations without a reward regardless seemed like a bad investment for her future free time and far too close to the truth for her comfort.

“It was a powerful aphrodisiac, I’m curious to know how it was made.” She said as an explanation.

Something passed over Jinshi’s face for a moment before he shook his head slightly, his face said he wanted to argue with her but was too tired to bother.

“Do as you will, just make sure you let Gaoshun know if you need anything. I would say come to me but…”

“Would you like me to pick up a sleeping draft at the medical pavilion?” Maomao offered, unable to stop herself in the face of his sheer exhaustion. Jinshi blew out a long breath, she watched the last of his mask slip as he gave Maomao the childish pout she was so used to seeing on his face. It settled her a little.

“There’s just so many meetings, I wish they would leave me out of these things.” Maomao met his pout with a glare which only made Jinshi pout a little more. “Can you give me something that will make me seem sick for a few days so I can have a break?”

“I’m not poisoning you, Master Jinshi.”

“Maoamao~” He whined. She almost smiled at his tone, but the knowledge that she had fatal poison in her, poison that had been meant for him, sobered her quickly.

“I’ll go to the medical pavilion now for your sleeping draft, I’ll have Suiren deliver it later.” She bowed again, moving past him and heading towards her destination “Please try and rest Master Jinshi.” She called over her shoulder before she turned the corner. Only when she was out of his quarters did she let herself pick up the pace, her eyes sizing up everyone she passed.

She would have to find Shuai quickly, before he was caught by someone else or left the inner palace.

Before the poison killed her.

Chapter Text

Despite having gotten a decent sleep thanks to Maomao’s sleeping draft, Jinshi couldn’t pay attention to anything that was being said the next day in his meetings. His mind kept returning to Maomao’s room, replaying their interaction over and over again. Noticing everything that his tired mind hadn’t noticed the day before.

He had never consumed an aphrodisiac himself, despite the multiple attempts by others, but he had witnessed the effects on the lady’s in waiting at the Jade palace. While he knew Maomao’s reactions to poisons was…unconventional, he would at least have expected the symptoms would appear in the same way: a flush on her face, her skin warm to the touch - at the very least he would expect her usual reaction of pure joy on her face.

Instead her face has been pale and clammy, a far away look in her eyes that had been tinged with true horror when she looked at Jinshi. Her pulse had pounded against his hand when he touched her neck.

Maomao had looked like someone who had actually been poisoned, which for her was truly concerning.

“Should I summon her for you?” Gaoshun said when he expressed his worry to him, the eunuch’s face a mirrored mask of concern though he managed to keep his composure much better than Jinshi had.

“No, if she’s hiding something she won’t just tell us.” Jinshi trusted Maomao immensely when it came to his safety; but he didn’t trust her when it came to her own. Countless times Maomao had proven that she would put her own life in danger in order to save someone else. The image of her bloodied and bruised face in his lap at the shrine came unbidden and Jinshi had to shake his head to get it to disperse.

“Do you think she was actually poisoned?” Gaoshun’s voice was low, though they were alone in his office for now. Soon he would have to leave for another meeting, but he had a rare few moments to himself. “I can summon the physician and have him check on her.”

“She would hardly agree to that.” Ordering Maomao to see a physician was an insult to her, he had learned after the spring banquet incident. He had to admit that the court physicians did pale in comparison to Maomao where poison was concerned. Gaoshun nodded his agreement, waiting for Jinshi to work through his thoughts. “Maomao forced herself to vomit up the food on the floor of the kitchen; I can’t believe that it was just an aphrodisiac no matter how strong it might have been.” Despite her abrasive temperament, Maomao was overly cautious of her appearance and station - for something like an aphrodisiac, Jinshi could never see her choosing to vomit in the middle of the kitchen floor. Even Suiren had been concerned for the girl and she was arguably far more used to Maomao’s oddities since she had moved into his pavilion.

Jinshi was at a loss; he knew that something was going on with Maomao but he didn’t have the time to figure it out on his own despite how badly he wanted to. All he knew was that she had excused herself for the day which Jinshi had instructed Suiren to allow.

“Have Basen retrace her steps - far enough behind her that she doesn’t catch on. He can report to us this evening.”

Gaoshun bowed, excusing himself to pass along Jinshi’s instruction - leaving Jinshi alone with his thoughts as he stared through the papers on his desk.

He wasn’t sure what unsettled him more; the fact that he had disregarded the horror in Maomao’s eyes the evening before or the fact that it had been there at all. She was always so serious, her face rarely portraying any emotion unless she was talking about poisons or medicinal ingredients. Even anger was so rare to pull from her that Jinshi had been fascinated when she had exploded on Lady Lihua’s lady in waiting at the Crystal Pavilion. It was as if a crack had been opened in the walls she kept around her, but only he was aware of the privilege of being able to see it.

Last night, however, had not felt like a privilege. It felt like he had seen something he shouldn’t have and it now haunted him.

By the time Gaoshun returned to collect him for his meeting, Jinshi had settled himself with a plan. Basen would report to him that evening on the apothecary’s movements and from there Jinshi would have something to use to confront her with.

And yet.

“Nothing?” Jinshi held his head in his hands that evening as Basen reported on Maomao’s movements for that day. “She just sat there and did…nothing?”

“She was clearly looking for someone.” Basen looked uncomfortable, his eyes glancing back at his father every few moments as if to confirm that he hadn’t made some mistake. “But other than the visit to the medical pavilion and the kitchens this morning, she really did just sit in the middle of the court and do…nothing.”

Early this morning Maomao had excused herself from his quarters and visited the doctor, who told Basen that she had asked for another sleeping draft for Jinshi as well as a surplus of random medicinal ingredients that not even the physician could give an explanation for. Some had use in antidotes and treatment of poisons like the charcoal she had taken, others had a variety of uses ranging from body aches to allergies but none of them seemed to make sense together.

From there she had visited the kitchen. A few of the ladies that Basen had been able to ask had informed him that she had asked about a young man - had even given a very detailed description of him - but that when they all said they did not recognize him she left looking dejected.

She then spent the rest of the day sitting pretty much in the center of the busiest place in the court, periodically chewing on some of the ingredients she had taken.

“Was she ever approached by this…man?” The thought of Maomao searching out a specific man that she was familiar enough to give such a detailed description for was enough to have Jinshi bouncing his leg in irritation - but to go looking for him the day after an aphrodisiac had been put in his food…

“Nobody approached her. She returned back to your quarters shortly before your dinner.”

A dinner that Suiren had informed him had been tasted by Maomao, at her insistence, and delivered to him with no issues along with the sleeping draft Maomao had procured.

“She knows who did it.” Jinshi muttered to himself after Basen had been dismissed, his head still in his hands as he thought out loud. “But she hasn’t told us.”

“Maomao does have her own sense of justice, and a soft spot for the servants. Perhaps she wishes to scare the man instead of turning him in.” Gaoshun offered, but Jinshi shook his head - the flash of fear in her eyes replaying in his mind.

“You didn’t see her, Gaoshun. She was scared of something.”

The more Jinshi thought about it the more his mind fell deeper into the idea he had been purposely pretending he hadn’t considered.

The penalty for poisoning Jinshi’s food was death, though there was a chance he could be lenient for an aphrodisiac but even that leniency would at the very least be expulsion from the palace and being black listed. If Maomao knew who had done it, and was scared of Jinshi finding out who the man was - then it clearly must mean she valued the man’s life enough to lie to him.

Did Maomao have a lover in the inner court?

Jinshi’s head hit the desk with a pained groan, ignoring Gaoshun’s concerned questions as he lost himself in the spiral of the thought.

It wasn’t hard to find out that Maomao was Jinshi’s food taster; it would be insanity to attempt to poison him with her reputation. Which means that whoever had slipped the aphrodisiac into the food had to have known Maomao would catch it before it went to him. Which meant the possibility of the aphrodisiac being for her was very, very real.

“Gaoshun.” Jinshi lifted his head abruptly, jealousy and anger making his face hot as he clenched his fist. “Have Basen take the description Maomao gave and check all eunuchs that have worked anywhere near the kitchens in the past month.”

“Master Jinshi…”

“I want him brought to me as soon as he’s found.” He continued, ignoring Gaoshun’s exasperated tone.

“You’re jumping to unsavory conclusions, Master Jinshi.” Gaoshun had served his Master for enough years to recognize his outburst for what it was - with Maomao searching for a man right after being poisoned with an aphrodisiac he had already contemplated the train of thought Jinshi was now barreling down. Contemplated and immediately discarded. “Forgive me for saying this, but Xiaomao barely tolerates your presence. I cannot see her accepting the company of a man unless forced to.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jinshi pouted, becoming childish in his anger.

“You could just summon her and ask her about it.” Gaoshun tried again, knowing how many times Jinshi had wound himself up over something that turned out to be a misunderstanding about the girl. But the set of Jinshi’s jaw told him it was no use before the man even replied.

“No.” Jinshi sat back down, his face stubbornly set but his leg bounced with irritation. Gaoshun could only sigh and excuse himself to let his Master fume himself into exhaustion.

As soon as Gaoshun left Jinshi deflated, slumping in his chair until he was at risk of sliding out of it and under his desk.

While the thought of Maomao having a lover filled him with anger and jealousy, it also filled him with an unimaginable ache that he could only just barely hide under the surface.

The first time Jinshi realized he was in love with Maomao he had passed it off as a passing fancy - while it wasn’t completely unheard of for him to meet someone unaffected by his beauty, it was a unique experience to have someone be completely repulsed by him. Gaoshun had once referred to Maomao as his new toy, and Jinshi had shoved his feelings into the same category as he waited for the feeling to pass as it always had before.

It never passed, to his slight irritation. In fact it only got stronger with every interaction, especially after Maomao had warmed up to him - if he could even call it that - enough to speak with him openly. She was honest in a way that was blunt and reckless, but it was refreshing to not have to wonder if someone’s words were a double edged sword. Stubborn to a fault, as soon as Maomao had a goal she would see it through to the detriment of herself. As soon as he had admitted to himself that his feelings were not a passing fancy it had become too easy to lose himself in her oddities and looks - seeking her out just to annoy her into reactions that he found all too endearing.

Despite the fact that he was certain his feelings were not reciprocated, the thought of Maomao granting her well guarded affections to someone that wasn’t him…

Gritting his teeth he stood, storming out of his office as he let his feet carry him halfway to Maomao’s rooms before his brain caught up to his actions and he stopped himself. He could see her door from where he stood, and he stood there and stared at it - arguing with himself over what to do.

Logically he knew Gaoshun was right; he should just knock on her door and ask her about her actions. There would most likely be some logical explanation, some sort of plan to catch the person who had attempted to poison him that would make sense once she laid it out to him. She would glare at him for insinuating that she had taken a lover, perhaps even kick him from her rooms angrily and Jinshi would return to his rooms with his mind settled and a smile on his face and everything would settle in his mind.

What if you’re right? A cynical voice in the back of his head hissed, a voice borne of jealousy and insecurity. What if instead of anger, guilt crosses her face?

What would he do? Expel her lover from the court and live with the pain of knowing he had caused Maomao pain? Jealously keep her from any partner she might even remotely show interest in for the rest of her life?

He would. He absolutely would if it meant keeping her with him.

Angry at himself for his own selfishness, Jinshi turned away from her rooms. A walk would clear his mind before bed, he hoped, even if had failed every night before.

Chapter Text

Staring at the window waiting for the sun to set, Maomao lay in bed panting as another round of tremors took her. She grit her teeth against them, blindly reaching a hand under her pillow for her satchel of random herbs that she had gotten from the quack doctor. She had been more clear headed when she visited him, but when she tried to remember the particular symptoms that the Reaper’s Kiss would bring to her she had felt a rising panic in her chest that she didn’t want anyone to see. So she had asked for an assortment, prepared to fight against any and all symptoms despite their severity.

It had been two days since she had been poisoned, and despite her best efforts she was losing the fight with her own body. She dumped the contents of the pouch onto her bed, blindly taking a handful and shoving it into her mouth to chew painfully. Nothing but water, charcoal and herbs had passed her lips in the past two days with the exception of tasting Jinshi’s food which she had done with barely concealed fear every time. Any more doses of the poison and she was sure she would drop that instant, but the knowledge that Jinshi would die faster than she could do anything if the poison somehow made it to him had forced her to take each bite.

There had been no repeat instances of the poisoning, but neither had she managed to find Shuai.

She knew how the inner court gossip worked and purposely used it to her advantage this time - at the cost of her reputation but it was a small price to pay. Knowing that he had to have been somewhere near the kitchen to get the poison into the food, she had approached the serving girls working there with an embarrassed blush and a stuttering description of Shuai - making sure to leave the distinct impression that she carried feelings for him. Maomao wasn’t disappointed when they told her sadly that they had no idea who she referred to, but she made sure to seem upset by the news as she left to sit under a tree to watch the inner court for the day.

News had no doubt spread like wildfire that Maomao had been spurned by a lover, the description of the man would be passed around and the more ambitious servants would try their best to find the identity of the man if only to have something to do during their boring day to day lives. If Shuai was in the inner palace he would have already heard that she was looking for him.

That was exactly what she wanted.

Trying to find Shuai in the inner court would have been too difficult - he was hardly dumb enough to not alter his appearance and it would take far too long to track him down with so many people working in the palace. But at some point during the past two days, Shuai would have heard about a green haired maid asking about him, and if he asked any questions she would be pointed out sitting in the same spot. If he visited that spot after she left, he would find a note carefully tucked into the knot at the base of the tree inviting him to meet her by the east wall that night.

The first night Maomao had waited until the sun had started to color the sky again before she had painfully made her way back to her room to sleep for a few hours before returning to her post. Her symptoms had progressed much faster than she had hoped, however, and she had to consider the possibility that she had gambled on the wrong option and that Shuai was not behind the poisoning.

She groaned as she rolled herself over, her legs were becoming harder and harder to control and the time between the tremors was becoming smaller. She had taken an herbal muscle relaxant to try to control the tremors, but the blurring around the edges of her vision had become a sort of countdown for her.

Half a day at most, she thought rather generously, until you won’t have any choice but to tell Jinshi the truth.

She would have to tell him regardless; Maomao had spotted Basen a few times during the first day watching her from somewhere he thought she couldn’t see. That coupled with Jinshi conveniently not bothering her about the incident and Suiren letting her go for days without a fuss about chores told her that Jinshi was watching her. There would be no other way for her to be free from his questions with how strange she had been acting.

He must have heard the gossip, which unsettled Maomao a little though she couldn’t quite place why. It would be the first clarification she would offer, if she could still talk at the end of this.

Forcing herself to stand, she stumbled to the door as she braced herself for another long night.

“If he’s not here tonight, I’ll go to Jinshi’s rooms on the way back and tell him.” She promised herself, taking a deep shuddering breath before she opened the door and slipped into the cool night air.

The east wall was the least patrolled as far as Maomao could tell, close enough to Jinshi’s quarters that walking there was easy enough as long as Maomao focused on one step at a time. The cold bit through her, helped by the sweat that clung to her skin making her shiver so badly she couldn’t be completely unsure it wasn’t the tremors returning.

As she turned the corner, she spotted the silhouette of a man standing by the wall - his face turned up to look at the sky as if he could see the stars beyond the clouds that covered them. Maomao held her breath, cursing her eyes as she tried to focus her blurred vision on the man. His profile was harsh in the moonlight, his jaw sharp under the pieces of hair that escaped the headdress of the eunuch.

“I wasn’t sure if you would come.” Maomao called, ignoring the raspiness of her voice as she forced her gait to be even and prayed that the shivering couldn’t be seen in the dark.

“And I wasn’t sure you’d still be alive. A pleasant surprise for both of us tonight then.” Shuai’s voice hadn’t changed, still containing the smug mockery that had become his signature in Maomao’s mind. She had taken a long time trying to recall what the man had looked like, but if she could describe his voice to someone she was positive they would instantly recognize him.

“I would hardly call having to meet with you ‘pleasant’.” Maomao stopped outside of arm's reach of Shuai, carefully eyeing him for any hint of a weapon. Not that a physical weapon was typical of those who preferred poison, but it never hurt to be safe.

“Never any love lost with you, Maomao. Didn’t you miss me?” He opened his arms as if beckoning her for a hug. Maomao stayed rooted in place, forcing herself to stand still instead of shrinking back away from him at the movement. “You’re a difficult woman to track down, you know. I visited your father’s home just to find out that you hadn’t lived there in over a year.” His hands moved as he spoke, a nonchalance in their movement that paired well with the arrogance in his voice. “Then I found out you were sold to the palace, and then kicked back to the Verdigris House, then back to the palace again after someone paid your contract fee with the madam-”

“Get to the point, Shuai.” Maomao was struggling to keep her body under control, there hadn’t been much muscle relaxant left in her pouch. Shuai smiled but gave a small bow of his head in agreement.

“I have a multitude of new poisons for you, rare and unique enough that I can’t bring them to you in the inner palace.”

“I’m under contract here, I can’t just leave whenever I want to make antidotes for you.” Maomao could only imagine the type of poisons he had available to him. It pained her to turn him down, but the pain paled in comparison to the pain caused by the poison wreaking havoc inside her.

“Correction: you can leave but you can’t come back.” Maomao didn’t respond, which seemed to irritate Shuai a little. “I can get you out, Maomao. Free from the court and off to somewhere where you can play with poisons to your heart's content!”

She could smell the catch like a tangible scent, even if she hadn’t been aware of how Shuai worked she would be stupid to think the offer came without strings. She waited, her head tilted as she watched his blurry figure shift impatiently at her lack of reaction.

“You take this vial back to your Master’s room, feed it to him and we’ll both be gone before the body even goes cold.” His hands held out a vial, glinting in the moonlight it looked like it contained water but Maomao felt a cold fist wrap around her heart and squeeze tightly.

“If you wanted him dead, why did you poison his food? Even a small dose would kill any food taster and immediately alert him.”

“I don’t want him dead. The poison was always meant for you, Maomao.” He tossed the vial lightly in the air, catching it as if it wasn’t enough to kill a countless number of full grown men. “Consider his death a signing bonus for coming along with me, you must hate him for dragging you back to the inner palace.” Maomao grit her teeth against the anger that rose in her, tempering it with the relief that came with knowing that Shuai had misunderstood her current arrangement.

“You expect me to believe that you would go through all this trouble for something as replaceable as having me make antidotes for you? I’m not so conceited as to imagine you couldn’t find anyone else, Shuai.”

“Don’t cause me trouble, Maomao.” His voice was sharp, annoyance tinging his mockery as he shifted his weight onto his other foot. “You’ve caused a lot of trouble for my patron by playing detective in the inner palace. I was told to either convince you to work for him, remove you or eliminate you.” He shrugged as if he was listing dinner options. “I knew your sensitive morals would never let you actively work with us, but it would be such a waste to kill you.”

Maomao puzzled at his words; all of the investigations she had completed for Jinshi had been solved to the point of the culprit either being dead or arrested, there was nothing that she could even begin to link back to Shuai or his mystery patron…

She nearly choked, realizing that there was one mystery that hadn’t been solved - the one that had nearly seen Jinshi dead.

“The ritual…” Maomao said before she could stop herself, watching as Shuai tensed before tucking the poison back inside his robes with a sigh.

“Well now you’ve really limited your options.”

“You’re a psychopath.” Maomao spat, anger bubbling up in her throat and adding malice to her words that she had tried to hold back. “I’d rather die than help you with anything.”

“You’re already dead, Maomao.” Shuai pulled out a different bottle, the liquid in this much darker and she knew that if she pulled the stopper on it she would quickly smell the sugar sweetness of the sap he used to overpower the taste of the other ingredients so she couldn’t figure out how to recreate the antidote. “If you come with me without fuss, I’ll feed you the antidote in time to save you. If you scream for guards, or leave to warn anyone I’ll smash this bottle on the ground and be gone before you hit the ground.”

“Screw you.” Maomao hissed, clutching her robe as she struggled for air. She knew her blood was pumping faster with her anger, fast tracking the poison and its symptoms but there was no hope of calming her pounding heart now.

She should have told Jinshi the second she recognized the poison. She was going to die anyway, she at least needed to give Jinshi the name of the person who had attempted to take his life before she did.

Maomao turned, steeling herself for the difficult and painful run back to Jinshi’s rooms but instead she ran into something warm and dark as hands quickly wrapped around her.

Chapter Text

Jinshi had spent the past few hours alone in his office, his head in his hands and his mind a million miles away. Gaoshun had reluctantly informed him of the gossip going around the inner court, and while the whole story differed depending on who was telling it - the main point remained the same.

Maomao had been spurned by a eunuch that she had fallen for.

He had dismissed Gaoshun in order to be left alone with his thoughts, but hours later he still couldn’t sort through them. Anger over someone callously abandoning Maomao’s affection warred with relief over the thought that they didn’t belong to someone anymore. Despair that she had chosen someone other than him to love mingled with hope at the knowledge that Maomao was in fact capable of romantic love.

Part of him wanted to visit her with a gentle smile and condolences while the other wanted to drag her to him and scold her for having such bad taste that she would choose someone like him.

Whoever him was.

Basen hadn’t had any success with finding out who the man Maomoa had described was, and as far as he could tell none of the court gossips could agree on who it was either. There were a few guesses, but each one made less sense than the last and eventually Basen had to concede that it was a hopeless endeavor.

The only thing Jinshi knew was that he was getting no sleep that night. So he had gone for a walk.

A walk where he had stumbled upon Maomao and a man she called ‘Shuai’ casually discussing the fact that she was currently dying from whatever poison she had ingested.

Just in time to step in front of Maomao as she turned to leave her only chance at surviving behind.

Maomao pulled away from him, taking a considerably shaky step back that Jinshi allowed if only so that she could see his face and know he was there to help her. His hands still lingered on her shoulders and they tightened when he finally saw the state she was in.

Face flushed and covered in a sheen of sweat, it seemed to take Maomao a minute before she focused on his face and recognized him. When she did, her eyes filled with the fear he had seen the night she had been poisoned and color seemed to leech ever so slightly from her warmed face.

“You can’t be here.” Her words were nearly slurred, as if she had drunk too much. Shaking her head weakly she pushed against him with barely enough strength to knock a glass over. He watched her swallow, wincing at the action as if it caused her pain, before she spoke a little clearer. “You need to leave, Master Jinshi. This man-”

“Has poisoned you.” Every ounce of authority in his body was poured into his voice; if he hadn’t heard the man’s threat he would have already called for guards himself and he was sure half the palace would have come running at the tone of his voice. “He’s made it clear that calling for help or leaving will result in him destroying the only thing that can save you and you chose to leave?”

He locked eyes briefly with the man called Shuai, his eyes touching the amber liquid in his hand as if to make sure it was still intact before returning to Maomao.

“We need to leave-”

“We’re not leaving.” Jinshi tightened his hold on Maomao, though he was fairly sure that she didn’t have the strength to break away from him regardless. His heart jumped painfully in his chest - she had always seemed so in control of everything she did. So calm and sure, even if at times it had been a facade she had never allowed anyone to see otherwise. The panic in her voice now did not suit her, nor did the trembling in her body.

“You don’t understand-”

“I understand fine!” Jinshi nearly yelled, his restraint slipping slightly as he shook Maomao roughly. “You were poisoned. Lied to me about it. Went off alone to meet the man responsible and you were just about to let him destroy what I presume is the only antidote or else you wouldn’t be in this situation.” Maomao stared at him with widened eyes and a clenched jaw; guilt and anger taking turns in her eyes.

“Jinshi, I-”

“Not to interrupt your little spat,” Shuai’s taunting voice cut off whatever she had been tryin to say, “but our dear Maoamo there is quickly running out of time if I’m correct.” Jinshi looked up to see the man shrugging, the vial he held swinging in his fingers precariously. “I’m usually correct, if you were curious.”

Maomao flinched under his hands, turning herself to glare at Shuai over her shoulder but whatever retort she had was quickly swallowed by a coughing fit that had her leaning into Jinshi for support. It leashed the fury that was threatening to take over Jinshi, forcing him to swallow whatever he was about to say. Shuai was clearly right, and it killed him.

“What do you want?” He bit out, pulling Maomao against him protectively - ignoring her feeble attempts to push him off of her. She was an inferno, hot against his skin even through the layers of his robes so that it was nearly all he could focus on.

“Finally, someone reasonable.” Shuai sized him up, his eyes lingering on the way Jinshi held Maomao - the way his taller frame seemed to bow forward as if to cover her from all angles. Every second the man took caused Jinshi to tighten his hold, agonizing over which second might be one too many for Maomao. “What will you give me?”

“Anything.” The word was out before he could stop it, but he felt the effect of it in both Shuai and Maomao.

Both stilled as if frozen, for a few moments there was only the sound of the wind rustling the trees around them before they both seemed to come alive at the same moment.

“Anything?” Shuai said at the same time that Maomao elbowed Jinshi in the gut harder than he had expected her to be able to. It gave her enough wiggle room to open her mouth and take a deep breath before Jinshi smothered the scream she had been about to get out with his hand.

Sharp pain shot through his arm as Maomao bit into his palm, but Jinshi held it in place with a grimace as drops of sweat made his hand slick against her skin.

“Give Maomao the antidote now, and anything within my power to grant you is yours.” Maomao said something against his palm but neither of them acknowledged her. Shuai was fully focused on Jinshi and Jinshi was locked in on the antidote in Shuai’s hand.

“I’ll make one more offer, and don’t waste precious time arguing because you don’t have that time to spare.” He pulled a vial from his pocket, the outside of the vial had been painted black so Jinshi couldn’t see the liquid inside but the man shook it so that he could hear the sound of liquid sloshing. “You will drink this. Once you’ve drank it all, I will feed Maomao the antidote.”

“Is it poison?”

“Does it matter?”

Maomao’s strength seemed to fail her, her knees collapsing so suddenly that Jinshi was forced to go to the ground with her to ease her fall. He released her mouth, panicking as he noticed her breathing was labored and shallow. Every breath came slowly, as if it took considerable effort for her to drag the air into her lungs.

Smoothing her hair away from her face, Jinshi’s hands helplessly floated over her as if trying to figure out what he could do. Her eyelids fluttered, desperately trying to stay open they roamed as if searching for his face though even when they seemed to meet his eyes there was no recognition in hers.

Seeing the pain in Maomao’s face decided for him. It didn’t matter whether the vial was poison or not if it was the only way to save her.

“How are we doing this?”

“Leave her there and back away. I’ll toss you the vial and as you drink it I will administer the antidote.” His voice was cheerful, as if explaining the rules to a game that they were about to play. Jinshi could almost imagine the man sitting across from him, a game board between them. In any other context the joy would have been considered infectious.

“Jinshi…please…” Jinshi hushed Maomao, adjusting her so she was lying down as comfortably as he could possibly make her in the grass. He wiped the sweat from her cheek with his thumb, his hand cupping her cheek reverently as he leaned down to place his lips gently against her forehead before he forced himself to leave her there.

Each step he took away from her was more painful than the last, stuttering a step when Maomao’s head turned towards him and her lips seemed to say his name silently.

“Excellent!” Shuai tossed the vial to him, casually walking towards the helpless Maomao as he opened the bottle to the antidote he had taunted her with earlier. Nails dug into Jinshi’s palm as he clenched his fist at his side, his mind screaming alarm bells with every step that he took towards Maomao. He knelt beside her, his arm propping her up into a sitting position as he held the antidote to her lips. “On three then, shall we?”

Jinshi could only nod, keeping his eyes on Maomao as he uncorked the vial and lifted it to his lips to wait for his cue. Almost immediately a cloying scent invaded his senses, making his head light and his vision blur slightly as he watched Shuai smile at him.

“Couldn’t be sure you’d actually drink it.” Shuai smirked, or at least Jinshi thought he did. The vial had slipped from his hands as he felt his knees hit the ground. “Rest assured, I will keep my part of the deal.”

A fog descended over Jinshi’s brain as he watched passively as Shuai forced the liquid down Maomao’s throat through her coughing fit. Covering her mouth and tilting her head back roughly as he forced her to swallow, all the while saying something too quiet for Jinshi to hear.

As he succumbed to whatever drug was pulling him into unconsciousness, he reached a hand towards Maomao. Silently praying that Shuai had in fact given her what she needed to live.

If he hadn’t, he prayed he never woke up.

Chapter Text

In the darkness of her mind all she could see was Jinshi’s face as he laid her on the ground by the east wall. She had screamed in her mind at him to please, please just leave her but she couldn’t even be sure the words had gotten past her lips.

Right before she had lost the fight with consciousness, Shuai had given her parting words that stopped her heart.

“When you wake up, I’ll be in touch.”

The words played in her mind now, like a bucket of cold water being splashed against her face it brought her back to consciousness. Groaning, Maomao rolled over where she was surprised to find the material beneath her felt soft and warm - not cold and hard like the ground outside. Her head pounded and it was all she could do to not vomit at the movement as she clutched her head.

She wanted to scream but it was beyond her capabilities at the moment so she settled for pinching her cheek as hard as she could manage. The pain cut through the fogginess in her head, and slowly she managed to open one eye enough to look around.

The familiar sights of her room at the palace met her, though much neater and emptier than it had been when she had left it the night before. The fact that she was alive and in bed meant that someone had found her, the fact that she was in her bed and not a prison or medical pavilion indicated it had most likely been Gaoshun.

The door slid open slowly, as if whoever it was didn’t want to risk waking Maomao up. Quietly, Suiren entered the room with Gaoshun in tow - the latter carried a large bucket of water while Suiren carried linens and clean robes that were clearly meant for Maomao. When the pair saw her they seemed to freeze as if unsure what reaction to have.

Suiren broke first, ushering Gaoshun inside before closing the door and quickly reaching Maomao’s side.

“How long have you been awake, Xiaomao? Do you feel alright?” The woman’s hands efficiently checked Maomao’s temperature, her hand moving carefully across her forehead and down to her chest. “You’re still too warm for my liking.”

“I’ll fetch the physician.”

“No.” Maomao choked on the word, turning to muffle her coughs in the blankets. To his credit Gaoshun waited patiently for her to compose herself while Suiren busied herself with soaking and wringing out a cloth. “You can’t let anyone know I’m awake. At least not yet.” She needed to get details, needed to orient herself in her mind before she could even consider the possibility of dealing with Shuai and whatever he had in store for her. Calling a physician to her room would be the equivalent to lighting a beacon.

Suiren forced Maomao to lie down, which she did so reluctantly, using the cloth to wipe down her face and neck.

“Maomao, Master Jinshi-”

“Gone?” Maomao cursed at Gaoshun’s nod. “They can’t have made it far in a single night, especially if Master Jinshi was drugged.”

Suiren and Gaoshun exchanged a look but before she could ask Gaoshun had already pulled a chair up to the side of her bed.

“Start from the beginning.”

So she told them what had happened; about how she had recognized the poison she tasted in Jinshi’s meal that night and had been scared the man might leave with the antidote if she told anyone. How she had started the rumor about her supposed lover to draw him out and meet him at the east gate. Things got a little hazy for her there as the poison had started to really take her, but she relayed the important bits: Jinshi had overhead and stepped into their conversation. Jinshi hadn’t let her call for help or run, and had instead agreed to drink some unknown substance in exchange for the antidote for Maomao.

By the time she had finished she was shaking with anger, both with Shuai for using her as blackmail and Jinshi for being stupid enough to fall for it.

“When I noticed that Jinshi wasn’t in his room I assumed he went for a walk and went to retrieve him.” Gaoshun picked up, his voice stoic but Maomao didn’t miss the slight tinge of guilt in his words. “When I got to the east wall you were alone, lying on the ground and barely breathing. I brought you back here and called for a physician but when we couldn’t find Jinshi we knew something had to have happened.” She could tell there was something he wasn’t telling her by the way his eyes would touch hers for the briefest moment before moving to something else. Gaoshun wasn’t a liar by nature, but he also hated giving bad news to people if he wasn’t sure how they would respond. Whatever he wasn’t telling her had to be really bad news.

Suiren seemed to realize Gaoshun wouldn’t say it, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking Maomao’s hand in hers like a mother would a child.

“Xiaomao.” Squeezing her hand, Suiren caught Maomao’s eyes and held them. “You’ve been sleeping for 4 days dear.”

It wasn’t entirely unbelievable; she had let the poison run in her system for 2 full days without the antidote. Even with the antidote it would have taken time for her to recover, and the body tended to do its best healing when it was asleep.

“He’s still missing?” Even and calm, no panic in the question even if her mind was already spinning through the endless possibilities.

Suiren lowered her head, Gaoshun refused to meet her eyes. It was confirmation enough.

Four days wasn’t a lot of time if they were traveling on foot, but there was no way Jinshi would have been stupid enough to walk out of the palace unless he was blackmailed or unconscious. Maomao had been given the antidote before he had left the inner walls, which meant that whatever was in the vial Shuai had made Jinshi drink had knocked him unconscious.

Transporting an unconscious man the size of Jinshi would not have been easy - which likely meant a carriage.

If it had been last night it would be easier - carriages at night were uncommon and one leaving the general vicinity of the palace would be uncommon enough that someone was sure to have taken notice.

But four days.

Maomao covered her eyes with her hands, the insistent pounding of her heart in her head was making it hard to think of a plan. She didn’t have the luxury of time on her side, she couldn't lay here and wait for the effects of the poison to fully clear her system before doing something. She needed to start forming a plan and act on it, even if it was just the ghost of one.

“I believe that Jinshi may have been taken to be used as blackmail against me.” It felt extremely conceited to say out loud, but if Shuai’s goal had been to force her to work for him then she had to admit using Jinshi as a hostage would work exceedingly well. “As long as everyone believes I’m still unconscious and recovering he’ll be safe.” I hope.

It would only work for a few more days at most, if it worked at all. Shuai knew the poison better than she did so it was possible he could accurately estimate the recovery time too.

“Gaoshun, I need you to find a laundry maid that matches my height and body size but has black hair. Have her come to help Suiren with changing my bed sheets. Suiren, when you come back with the maid, bring as many ink bottles as you can hidden in the basket with the sheets.”

“Xiaomao, you’re still recovering. Lakan has men out looking for Jinshi, perhaps you should-”

“No, Gaoshun.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at the eunuch, guilt gnawing in her stomach as she did her best to keep her voice as emotionless as possible. “This is my fault, I should have told Master Jinshi about the poison when he asked. I can’t just sit here and hope for someone else to fix this.”

Closing her eyes, Maomao silently prayed they would leave it at that. She had a tenuous hold on her emotions which were so erratically changing that she was getting internal whiplash from trying to identify them all. After a few moments the weight from the side of the bed disappeared, but Maomao waited until the sound of the door closing before she forced herself to move.

With slow determination, Maomao managed to get herself out of bed and used the basin of water that Suiren had left to clean herself up. Her hands still shook and she found herself breathing heavier than she liked, but by the time Suiren and Gaoshun re-entered with the maid and ink bottles, she was on her feet digging through drawers.

“Where did all of my herbs go?”

“Your room was cleared of any medicinal ingredients as a precaution.” Maomao rolled her eyes, leave it to the incapable doctors in the inner court to jump at shadows.

Giving up the search she turned to assess the maid that had been brought, she was in fact Maomao’s height and general size, though her hair was a little shorter than hers. She trembled a little as Maomao eyed her, but she met her eyes without looking away.

“Listen carefully. You and I are going to switch places - strip off your outer robes and put on the ones left on the bed. For the foreseeable future you will remain confined to this room. Can you manage that?”

“Y-yes ma'am.” Maomao paused at the formal address, but there wasn’t time to explain the situation and the girl assuming Maomao was above her station would work to her benefit.

She stripped off her own outer robes, not caring that Gaoshun remained in the room as she tossed them on the ground and dug for the ink bottles under the sheets Suiren had brought. Opening one, she carefully poured the contents onto her hair while using her hand to make sure it coated more than just the outside. It wouldn’t pass upon close inspection, but it would be a temporary fix until she could get out of the palace and get her hands on proper dye.

It took longer than Maomao would have liked, but when she was done she looked more or less like the maid that was now lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing she’d ever seen. The only side effect was that the ink had stained her hands and wrists, making it appear as though she wore black gloves. She hid her hands in her sleeves and turned to Gaoshun and Suiren.

“Now what?” Gaoshun asked, clearly expecting the next portion of Maomao’s plan.

“Keep coming to check my room on a regular basis as if I’m still here asleep; don’t let the physician come in to check on me. I’ll take care of the rest.” Gaoshun furrowed his brow, opening his mouth to argue with her but Maomao just held up a blackened hand. “If you or Suiren do anything out of the ordinary, then I may as well have not bothered with sneaking out. The best thing you can do to help is buy me some time.”

They still looked like they wanted to argue, but Maomao had wasted enough time in this room. She reached down, picking up the basket with her hands still covered by her sleeves and walked past both of them before they could say anything.

She didn’t bother to rush, though every part of her wanted to run across the inner court she didn’t want to draw attention to herself by running or collapsing when her legs no doubt gave out on her. Her stomach protested, but food was another luxury that she didn’t have time for just yet. There would be moments in the coming future that waiting would be necessary she was sure, she would eat then.

Making it to the military pavilion was easy enough, from there Maomao managed to make it all the way to Lakan’s office without anyone questioning her. Her luck continued when she knocked on the door and his voice called back to her.

“Come in.” Quickly slipping inside, Maomao watched as her biological father looked at her for a moment with astonishment, then confusion before he tentatively asked “Maomao?”

“I don’t have much time. I need a way out of the palace without causing a scene and all the relevant information you’ve collected on the situation.” She had known from the beginning that she would have to turn to Lakan, as much as it had made her skin crawl to admit it she could trust him absolutely when it came to her.

“I told those idiots to alert me the second you woke up.” He moved around his desk, advancing on her with both joy and concern on his face. Maomao stepped back an equal amount, holding out a hand to keep him away. Lakan took in the ink-stained skin and her laundry maid outfit with pride. “Smart girl.”

“Save your flattery. Can you get me out of the palace or not?”

“You plan to go after him.” It wasn’t a question, but Lakan’s demeanor quickly changed from ‘doting father’ to the sly fox that everyone knew him as. “You probably already know but I have men out looking for him already.”

“I know that they’ve failed for four days straight.”

Lakan leaned against his desk, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at her with the same glint in his eyes as he had when they had played elephant chess again. The smug look of someone who knew they had the upper hand, but enjoyed playing the game anyway.

“My men have already combed through town. Nobody with his description or the description you gave the inner court of the man I assume took him has been seen in any capacity. I have them looking in every town within a two day ride.”

“I don’t doubt that, but there are some avenues of information that wouldn’t be forthcoming to men that talk like imperial soldiers.”

They stared each other down, Maomao’s hand clenching at her side to keep from budging. Sweat was starting to build up on the back of her neck but she couldn’t afford for Lakan to see that she was still suffering the effects of the poison and risk him refusing to help her out of ‘fatherly affection.’

“What do I get out of it?”

Anything Jinshi’s voice echoed in her head, the question so similar to Shuai’s that Maomao felt herself cursing Jinshi out loud. Lakan laughed, clearly misunderstanding her outburst as acceptance of her position.

“I’ll get you out of the palace but you work for me on this. That means you report back to me as soon as you find anything, and you don’t make moves without my approval.”

Her eyes narrowed, as much as she wanted to argue with him she needed him - having an open line of communication with him would also come in handy she was sure. Didn’t mean she had to like it.

Even if she had no intention of following through on her end of the bargain.

Lakan held out his hand, seemingly reading her thought process in her glare. Maomao reluctantly shook his hand to cement the deal.

My version of anything I suppose.

Chapter Text

It had been four days, which Jinshi only knew because Shuai only visited him once a day with his dinner. The rest of his meals were brought to him by different men who dressed as though they were about to go out hunting.

When he woke the first day, he was in a small room that he imagined used to belong to a servant. The only furnishing was the bed he was on and the chains that connected him to the wall with just enough length that he could move from the bed to the floor in front of the bed and nowhere else. There was no window to bring in light to tell him when to wake up, and his body still felt fatigued from whatever drug Shuai had given him to get him out of the palace. The result was that Jinshi slept often, and when he slept he dreamt of a green haired girl and what she would say when they were reunited.

She had been angry with him, he knew that much. His hand still carried the mark of her anger in the form of her teeth where she had tried to free herself from him. No doubt she carried that anger with her now, and he wondered idly if it would be enough to make her forget her station and actually scold him the same way she had scolded others. Sometimes in his dreams she would yell at him and hit him, telling him he was an idiot and other profanities he had never actually heard her utter. Other times she cried, and the image of her breaking down in front of him seemed so real that his heart ached when he was awake from it.

Then there were times when he imagined he would tell her how much he cared for her, that she would let him touch her face without looking like she was considering cutting it off.

“You look like you're thinking something indecent.” Shuai’s voice broke through Jinshi’s imaginings, he didn’t have to open his eyes to know the man was smirking at him. “Please don’t stop on my account.”

Jinshi irritation flared but he did his best to not show it on his face, leaning his head back against the wall behind him as he listened attentively to Shuai’s footsteps - mentally tracking his movements as he crossed the room to set what he imagined was his dinner on the floor beside the bed.

“I wish you would say something, I’m starting to think you might not like me.” Jinshi didn’t react, though his head was pounding and the man’s voice did nothing to improve it. He had learned that Shuai would keep talking until he struck a nerve, waiting for some change in Jinshi’s face that let him know he was getting close . The best thing to do was to pretend he didn’t exist, something Jinshi was getting very good at.

Unfortunately, he had already given Shuai insight into the biggest nerve to poke at when they first encountered each other in the palace.

“Maomao still hasn’t woken up, in case you were wondering.” Jinshi tried his best to block out the words, thinking about anything and everything else but it was like Maomao’s name was a hot knife - it cut through every other thought like it was nothing. “It is slightly concerning; I would have thought she would have at least woken up by now based on her reactions to it in the past.” The casual familiarity in his tone when he spoke about her made Jinshi’s blood boil, it bordered on affection that sparked his temper and he feared Shuai knew it.

“I remember the first time I gave her that poison - the way her eyes lit up and she danced around thanking me. She was a little less enthusiastic moments later when she collapsed.” Shuai laughed as if reliving a pleasant memory, but the thought of Maomao lying in the grass struggling for air came back to Jinshi and he found himself flexing against the chains that held him. “But then the next time I went to visit her, she asked for it again. Can you believe it?”

He could, and that was the worst part.

“Sometimes when I’d come across a particularly nasty poison, I’d find myself thinking ‘Maomao would really like this -”

“Don’t talk like you know her.” Despite knowing better, Jinshi rose to the bait. His anger boiling over until he found himself glaring at Shuai. The man met his stare immediately, as if his eyes had been on Jinshi’s the entire time.

“He speaks!” Laughing, the man clapped his hands, leaning forward on the ground towards Jinshi. “I’ve been bored out of my mind for the past four days. Good conversation was already hard to come by, but I can hardly find it among the thugs my patron hired to escort us.”

“What do you want?” Jinshi ignored the bait, asking questions of Shuai would do nothing for him when he couldn’t trust if the man ever told the truth. Even the updates on Maomao’s condition he insisted on giving to Jinshi could be lies - not that it made a difference in how his heart would jump every time he mentioned her.

“I told you already. I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I don’t have to be your enemy.” Jinshi closed his eyes, deciding that he would return to ignoring the man and his nonsense. Shuai sighed, loud and dramatic as the sound of fabric sliding down the wall filled the silence. “Come oooooooooon, all I know is your name. How about we can each take turns telling each other something about ourselves.”

“I have no interest in knowing anything about you.”

“But you do have interest in knowing about Maomao, I bet.” Jinshi scoffed, waving a hand dismissively as if Shuai was nothing but another servant in the palace.

“There isn’t anything-”

“I could tell you about her mother.” Jinshi couldn’t control the shock that crossed his face in time to keep Shuai from seeing it, his eyes opened again to the waiting smirk on Shuai’s face.

Maomao had never mentioned her family, other than the occasional mention of her adoptive father or sisters if they were relevant to a conversation. Jinshi had only come to learn of Lakan being her father from the man himself once he heard Maomao had been brought into his employ - but even Lakan had never mentioned Maomao’s mother. It wasn’t like he wasn’t curious, he had thought about it enough to put the only information he had together. Her mother had to have been a courtesan, one that Lakan had visited and gotten pregnant in order to lower her value so he could buy her out; and yet something had gone wrong. Of course he wanted to know; how did Maomao come to hate her birth father so much and why did neither of them ever talk about the woman that connected them?

He would never push Maomao to tell him, too scared that it would cause more distance between them when he felt like he was finally breaking through to her to a point that she could confide in him about these things. But he also knew she would never tell him.

Shuai read the decision in his face and leaned back, his face smoothed into happiness once again.

“So tell me, how did a eunuch in charge of managing the inner palace manage to convince Maomao to willingly leave her family to come work in the one place that doesn’t let her play with poisons?”

“I didn’t convince her, she asked to come back.” There was a spark in Shuai’s eyes that unnerved him, though his face was still a mask of casual interest his eyes were tracking Jinshi as if he could read the words as they left his mouth.

“Maomao wouldn’t willingly enter the courts, the political drama and infighting that exists there would kill her. You offered her something, tell me what it was.”

“I gave her a medicinal ingredient as a gift, but that was after she asked me to buy her out. I don’t fully know her reasons; maybe she liked the money, maybe she missed the friends she had made in the court.”

“Maomao doesn’t have friends. She has poisons and patients - everyone else is just in her way.” A cold, short laugh came from Shuai but it was clipped. He said the words as if it was something he had recited to himself before, something he was supposed to believe in but

They glared at each other. Shuai clearly believed he knew Maomao, and Jinshi had to admit that he seemed to know a few things about her that were genuinely Maomao - but it was as if he knew her through a lens. The Maomao in Shuai’s mind was clearly cold and distant, focused on what she could get from someone while she gave the bare minimum in return. It was the wall that she had when he first met her, but Jinshi had gotten a glimpse of what was behind it when he had shown Maomao that she had saved Lady Gyokuyou’s daughter. If he hadn’t seen that moment, the genuine relief and care in her eyes for that brief second, would he have thought the same thing of her?

The silence stretched on between them until Shuai started to talk, his voice cold and cruel as if he hated holding up his part of the deal.

“Her mother was a courtesan. I know you’ve met her father, so you must be aware of their difference in station.” He spat the words at Jinshi, as if he expected them to hurt him. “They fell in love, and Maomao’s mother became pregnant with her but I’m sure you already knew that.” Jinshi said nothing, watching Shuai as the man stood and brushed the dirt from his robes. “When Lakan never came for her or Maomao, her mother decided to send him a token of her love. For courtesans this is usually something very specific - they cut off their pinky fingers, permanently disfiguring themselves.”

Memory flooded Jinshi, of him and Maomao atop the walls of the palace when he had found her dancing to send off whatever courtesan Lakan had been forced to buy out. She had transfixed him that night, cementing in his mind that he was in love with the girl as he watched her twirl in her colorful robes. She had said something about how pinky fingers grow back, when he had asked her about the courtesan she was sending off. Ice settled in his veins and Shuai gave him a sickening smile.

“She went mad with anguish, thinking that she had ruined herself for someone who abandoned her. Poor Maomao, so small and defenseless when her mother attacked her I can’t imagine what that does to someone.” Shuai stepped forward, keeping very careful to remain outside of the limits of Jinshi’s reach as he smiled cruelly. “I wonder what lesson she learned about falling for a man so above her station.”

Jinshi did lunge for him then, the chains pulling painfully on his wrists as they snapped taunt just short of Shuai. The man smiled, but Jinshi felt the satisfaction of seeing a slight hint of fear in his eyes.

“Or maybe she’ll follow in her mother’s footsteps.” Shuai turned heading for the door in quick steps while Jinshi half stood, half crouched on the edge of the bed. Opening the door, he turned back to look at Jinshi before he left. “I really do need to thank you - Maomao would never have agreed to help me before. But you’ll make a better blackmail than any poison I could ever give her.”

The door closed, and Jinshi was left alone with the feeling that he had somehow made a mistake.

Chapter Text

The hot water soothed her aches but not her nerves, which had been strung tight since she first opened her eyes days prior. It was a shame that she couldn’t enjoy a private bath now that she had open access to it, but Maomao supposed it just wasn’t in the cards for her. She instead focused on scrubbing her hands clean of the dye that she had just re-applied to her hair. The Madam had procured her fabric dye that would last longer and appear more natural than the ink Maomao had used but it still needed to be reapplied every few days which meant her hands were constantly somewhat stained.

She took her frustration out on her hands, scrubbing them until she felt like the skin might start to peel off. Three days in the pleasure district, going from brothel to pleasure house trying to find gossip on Jinshi’s kidnappers had turned up nothing and it was hard to not let herself give up hope.

Four days had been a gamble, but in seven days Jinshi could have been taken far out of her reach.

“Damnit!” Water splashed as she slapped the surface hard with her hand. She had never been prone to outburst of anger; anger was a useless emotion that only served to get in her way and cloud her judgment. But it was getting harder, and Maomao hated the tinge of desperation she felt creeping in on the edges. Anger clouded your judgment, but desperation made you reckless.

“Maomao?” Meimei’s voice rang in the bath house, Maomao stayed silent in hopes that her sister would pass her by but the sound of approaching footsteps told her she had been spotted. “Are you not going out tonight?”

Maomao waited until the ripples in the water had settled, once again smoothing out the reflection of her face and her emotions before she turned to acknowledge her sister.

“I will be, there’s still a few brothels on the south side of the pleasure district that I haven’t visited.” Two. There were two pleasure houses that Maomao had yet to visit. She tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about the very real possibility that she had come to a dead end.

“I’ll help you get dressed, come.” Meimei’s smile was kind, a kindness she always had for everyone. Maomao could only nod as she gathered her things and followed Meimei to her room.

The Madam had let Maomao use a small room at the end of the junior courtesan’s hall, far enough away from the main entertaining halls that she could slip in and out of the Verdigris without catching the eyes of any customers. In truth Maomao would have preferred something less fancy, if only to lower the bill she was sure to get slapped with at the end of all this.

Maomao changed into brilliantly colored robes that showed far too much skin. Since she was going to the cheaper part of the pleasure district she didn’t bother covering her bandages though she did apply some powder to her hands to lessen the appearance of the dye.

“Maomao.” Meimei was busy combing her hair, insisting on styling it for her despite Maomao’s protests that the dye could come out and stain her hands too. She would definitely be billed for something like that. “What will you do if nothing turns up?”

Swallowing the surge of anger that rose in her, Maomao reached for the makeup in front of her to start applying it to her face with forced casualness. She had been honest with her sisters, despite Lakan’s warning to not tell anyone other than the Madam about what had occurred - they were the highest paid courtesans for miles and their ability to get people to talk to them was unparalleled. Men would tell their darkest secrets if one of the three princesses so much as looked at them the right way, she would be stupid to not use it to her advantage.

But also, they were her sisters.

“I’ll keep looking.” She answered when she felt like her emotions had been swallowed deep enough that they wouldn’t be heard in her voice. “It’s not like I can return to the palace now; even if they hadn’t discovered I left I would still be implicated in his disappearance. I’m better off skulking around the pleasure district until I find something useful.”

Meimei only hummed, her hands repeating the same motion in Maomao’s hair as if she was distracted. Maomao recognized the look on her face and braced herself for an uncomfortable conversation, but she was unprepared for what her sister would say.

“When Lakan stopped visiting your mother, she had the same look on her face.” Maomao reached for the rouge, hating the slight tremor in her arm as she did. “She never showed it to anyone, not even me, but there were subtle signs that she was hurting.”

“I’m fine, Meimei.”

“Then say his name.” Her hand paused halfway to her lips, the pinky with a smear of red on it floating in front of her. Meimei’s hands halted their movements, and Maomao was very grateful that there was no looking glass in her small room for her sister to see her face. “You’re been here for three days, Maomao, and I haven’t heard his name pass your lips. When you talk about him it’s always ‘his disappearance’ or ‘finding information about him’ but you never say his name.”

“That’s not-”

“Your mother did the same thing with Lakan.” Meimei cut off her protests, the hand in her hair tightening slightly as if she was afraid Maomao would bolt. “I didn’t see it for what it was back then, I thought she was hardening herself to reality. It was until she had you, until she hurt you, that I realized that she had gone mad with her grief.”

“I am not my mother, Meimei.” She had meant it to come out stern, to let some of the anger she had kept down leech into the words but was horrified when her voice shook with uncertainty. “I’m not looking for him because I’m some lovesick idiot who ruined herself for a man, I’m looking for him to save myself from being executed for a crime I had no part of.” She had rehearsed the half-truths in her mind several times on her way to Lakan and then another dozen times on her way out of the palace. She couldn’t admit to anyone that the man who had poisoned her and taken Jinshi was someone she knew, couldn’t risk that information somehow making its way back to the palace. She most certainly would not admit that she had suspected her feelings had taken an inappropriate turn when she hadn’t been paying attention.

“Prove me wrong then.”

Kind, caring Meimei had another side to her - one day that people outside of the Verdigris never go to see. The same side of her that had guided Lakan to her mother against the Madam’s will, the same side of her that had prevented her from getting bought out multiple times because Meimei herself wanted to stay with her family at the Verdigris. She could be cunning and manipulative at times, just as stubborn as anyone Maomao had even known. This was just Maomao’s first time being on the other end of it.

Yet when she opened her mouth to say his name, it was as if it got caught in her throat.

“I should be going.” Was all she could get out, grateful that Meimei loosened her hold on her hair enough that the strands slipped through her fingers without incident.

“Don’t do something reckless, Maomao. I won’t lose you too.” A shiver ran up Maomao’s spine, but she kept walking with a mental note to not keep Meimei in the loop if she found something. She had forgotten how close she was to Lakan, and Maomao could picture her sister writing to him only for soldiers to keep Maomao from going anywhere.

The lower side of the pleasure district was where the cheaper brothels and pleasure houses were, and Maomao was suddenly very grateful that she had left the Verdigris with her hair undone and her makeup half finished. The girls here didn’t dress up like they did at the brothel Maomao had grown up in and she would have stuck out if she had been fully made up. As she walked she loosened the bindings on her dress to match some of the girls out walking the street, adjusting her appearance and walk to match them.

She began approaching some of the girls, using the same face she had used on the kitchen maids when looking for Shuai only this time Maomao didn’t have to fake the desperation that colored her voice.

They all gave her the same answer though with varying degrees of sympathy. They had not seen someone with Shuai’s description, though some of the girls tried to offer Maomao advice on the best way to get over a man.

It had been hours when Maomao was ready to give up, the desperation in his voice had reached a new peak that she was no longer comfortable with. She was debating on whether she would sneak back into the Verdigris or choose instead to spend the night in the field behind Luomen’s house when a small, sad voice spoke beside her.

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear.” Maomao turned to see a young courtesan, the makeup on her face smeared in a way that made it clear she had been crying. “You’re looking for someone too?”

“Have you seen him?” Maomao repeated the description, giving a few more details on the time he was likely to have come through. The woman shook her head, but there was a light in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. “I haven’t seen the man you’re talking about, but I heard someone else mention him.” Having captured Maomao’s full attention, she moved them both into a shadowed alleyway so as not to be overheard.

“You know someone that saw him? Can you bring me to him?” The woman sniffled, tears welling in her eyes.

“My Mihan, he said he was hired by your man to escort some merchant and his wares. They were in town for only a few days but he promised he would come back and take me with him.”

“Take you where?” Maomao gripped the woman’s arm a little too tight, watching as a flash of fear entered the woman’s face as she seemed to suddenly realize they were alone in the alleyway.

“I-I don’t know. I thought maybe you would know where they went…”

Maomao hated the way the woman seemed to plead with her - the life of a courtesan in the lower pleasure district was hard enough. They were often sold by their families into the trade and their treatment depended entirely on their looks. She hadn’t intended to use fear to get the information she needed, but she had wasted so much time already she couldn’t waste anymore on undoing the damage she had already caused and winning the girl back over.

“That man isn’t returning for you, they never do. I’m guessing he lied to get some free service from you when you snuck out to meet him when your Madam wasn’t looking.” The woman’s eyes widened in a way that told Maomao she was right, but even without knowing the girl she could have guessed that was how it went. It was always how it went. “Tell me where he was going or I will find the Madam of whatever pleasure house you belong to and tell her that you planned to run away with a customer. I’m sure you’ve taken a few things from her in preparation that she’d find if she searched your room.”

The courtesan’s other hand swung through the air, Maomao let it hit her cheek with a sharp sting. She deserved far worse for the threat.

“How dare you talk down to me as if you haven’t done the same thing.” The tears flowed over, leaving tracks through the already ruined makeup on her face. “Shamelessly walking around asking everyone if they’ve seen him - at least Mihan told me where he was going.”

“Is it money you need to leave?” Maomao reached a hand up, keeping the other one wrapped tightly around the woman’s wrist so she wouldn’t leave. She unclasped the necklace around her neck, she had borrowed it from Pairin the first night she had gone out but the woman had so many necklaces she hoped she wouldn’t notice if one was missing. “You can hock this for enough money to get you wherever you need to go. Tell me where he went, and it's yours.”

The woman had stared incredulously between Maomao and the necklace, but in the end Maomao returned to the Verdigris house with what she wanted and only a little guilt at the way the woman had stormed off crying after Maomao had handed her the jewelry.

Shuai had taken his entourage to a town that was about three days on carriage, the man called Mihan may actually had either been a talkative drunk or truly in love with the girl as he also let slip that they would be staying in that town for a while as the town there knew the merchant they were escorting.

It meant she not only had a lead more solid than she had hoped for, but she also had time.

She wasted no time when she entered her room, immediately going through the few outfits the Madam had loaned her for something more suitable to traveling. She picked up the outfit she had worn out of the palace, something shiny falling to the ground with a clink. Maomao bent to pick it up, her heart stuttering when she recognized the hair pin Jinshi had given her.

It had been illogical for her to take it with her, tying it into the strings of her undergarments to prevent anyone from seeing it. She had argued with herself for several minutes when she found it tucked away where she had hidden it in her rooms, untouched by whoever had taken everything else from her. She had only taken it out the first night she had gone around the brothels, debating on wearing it in her hair but had decided against it. She didn’t want the hair dye to stain its flawless shine, but the thought of leaving it behind now seemed impossible.

She tied it once again to the inner garments of her clothing before she continued packing, slowly devising a plan in her mind. She would need the Madam’s help, which would cost her, but she would make him pay for it when she got him back.

“Jinshi…” Maomao whispered, testing the word as if it was foreign in her mouth. Her chest ached and her heart seemed to rise in her throat but she gave herself a small satisfied smile. Meimei’s concerns were unfounded, she most certainly was not her mother.

Chapter Text

Maomao had left that night after a considerably shorter conversation negotiation with the Madam than she had anticipated. She had organized a carriage ride to the city the courtesan had mentioned and had even written a letter of introduction for Maomao to give a Madam at a brothel in the town who apparently owed her a favor from their younger days. It had been more than she had asked for, but considering Maomao had no actual plans for what she would do when she got there, having a place to stay was at least a good start.

In exchange Maomao had handed a letter to the Madam, asking her to pass it along to Lakan in four days time - when Maomao was sure to have made it to her destination. It was her contingency plan; if she hadn’t rescued Jinshi in the four days it would take Lakan to reach her she would at the very least have enough information to give him.

Or she would be in need of his help.

Now, riding in the carriage as they passed through the empty land between cities under the cover of night, Maomao found herself alone with her thoughts and nothing to do for the first time since she had become poisoned.

For the first time she let herself think about Jinshi.

She should have told him. The second she realized who had poisoned her she should have gone to him and told him what was going on - despite his childishness and insistence on annoying her to death, he trusted her. He wouldn’t have been happy, would probably have forced her to see one of the physicians in the inner palace, but he would have listened if she insisted on it.

Instead she had decided to do it alone, and she would have died alone if Jinshi hadn’t stupidly stepped in and saved her life. Everything that happened had been entirely her fault, and if Jinshi died…

Where she expected anger, she instead felt fear. Fear that Jinshi wouldn’t be okay when she got there. Fear that she would be too late, that he would have died for someone like her. Her hand trembled as she reached under her robe to pull Jinshi’s hairpin free from the inner bindings.

She remembered the day he gave it to her, how he had looked at her with genuine sorrow as she told him how she came to be in the inner palace. He had apologized for it, though it had not been his fault in the slightest, and Maomao had been stunned at how much he had cared. Cared about her.

It had been the first time since Luomen had taken her in that someone had looked at her like that.

Since that moment she had done her best to fight back her own emotions, plucking them like weeds the second she saw the tip of the sprout. They were weeds; pointless and annoying, she had no use for affection for a man that she could never reasonably pursue. Yet despite her best efforts they continued to grow, every time he had looked at her as if he really saw her, every time he pulled her back from something dangerous with a panicked look on his face. Every time he touched her with a gentleness that Maomao was unaccustomed to.

She clutched the hairpin tight in her hands, feeling it dig into her skin as she remembered the feeling of his thumb against her cheek. She hadn’t been able to see his face, but she knew what it had looked like at that moment. She had seen it through her battered face when she saved him during his ritual.

The first time she had promised herself she wouldn’t cause him to look like that again, but Shuai had made her break that promise.

This time the anger did come, and Maomao let it consume her as one thing became clear.

Shuai had to die.

______

The brothel she had been left at was small compared to other brothels, but it was very well kept. When the carriage opened to let her out, there was an older woman that she assumed was the Madam and two young courtesans waiting for her at the entrance.

Maomao had silently handed Madam the letter, and waited in silence as she read it.

“That old hag.” The woman grumbled, her eyes roaming up and down Maomao with a look that said she was sorely disappointed in her appearance. “Sending me her leftovers, I’d be lucky to get half of the cost of clothing you.”

Maomao resisted talking back; she really should have asked about the contents of the letter before she had left the Verdigris. As far as she knew, the old lady could have sold her off. She couldn’t be expected to work, she didn’t have time for that.

“Show her to her room,” the woman waved dismissively, turning before Maomao could say anything. “Find her something to wear from the storerooms - she’ll be attending the party.”

Maomao was ushered into the brothel, the two attending courtesans much friendlier and talkative than any she had ever met. They reminded her of the ladies in the Jade Pavilion, the thought made a pang of sadness go through her.

“It’s been so long since we’ve had a new girl come here! I’m so happy.”

“What’s your name? Which brothel did you work in before?” A girl on each arm, Maomao could only let them drag her inside.

“Maomao.” The inside was as well kept as the outside, it almost looked more like an inn than it did a pleasure house. “I came from the Verdigris in the capital.” Maomao didn’t miss the pity on the girls’ faces as they looked at each other over her. To them it must have been sad, such a tiny girl being shipped from one of the most famous brothels to such a small, out of the way town.

“Well don’t worry, we’ll make you feel right at home.”

Paraded through the entire building, Maomao met the handful of courtesans that worked there - none of them older than their third decade. It surprised Maomao; all of her sisters were in their thirties, it wasn’t uncommon for successful courtesans to stay on that long but it was uncommon for a brothel to have no older women.

Only when Maomao had been shown to a room and given a chance to put her bag down did the two girls stop talking long enough for Maomao to ask about it.

“All the older girls leave eventually, usually after a few years of being here.” The girl had introduced herself as Meng, she seemed to be the oldest girl there but Maomao wouldn’t put her age at above 25. “Madam says we have little chance of getting a good husband out here, so when the girls are presentable enough she coordinates for her to be transferred to a big city brothel.”

“How do you keep clients?”

“Most of our clients are just passing through town.” The other girl, Faran. “We’re the only town out this way, so we often get traders or hunters that are just passing through. Like the party!” Faran’s eyes lit up, bouncing on her toes as she spoke. “Some merchant is passing through with hired men, I heard one talking to the Madam the other day. They’ve been on the road a while and I guess the men are getting restless so he hired us to entertain them.”

“Did you see him?” Maomao stared Faran down, the look on the girl's face quickly melting from excitement to concern.

“Uh, yeah.” She proceeded to describe Shuai so accurately that Maomao could practically hear his voice in the room with them.

“Did you happen to see another man, tall with purple hair?” She had almost said ‘beautiful’ but it felt insulting to use such an ordinary word for Jinshi’s beauty. Not that she could bring herself to praise him either.

“No, sorry.” Maomao nursed her disappointment; of course Shuai would never let Jinshi be seen. Despite her attempts, something must have shown on her face. Meng shut the door to the room, and joined Faran sitting close to Maomao. She reached out a hand, putting it on Maomao’s knee.

“Is that why you came here? I couldn’t imagine someone leaving the Verdigris to come to some backwoods brothel.” Maomao wanted to laugh, but they weren’t that far off. She had technically come for Jinshi, but not in the way they thought.

And yet Maomao didn’t feel right correcting them.

“I guess.” They leaned in, an expectant look on their face as they waited. Maomao felt her face heating up, an uncomfortable nervousness settled in her stomach.

“Did he promise to buy you out and then leave?”

“Technically he did buy me out already.” Maomamo hadn’t meant to say it out loud but the reaction was instant, the two girls pulled at her arms until they were huddled on the ground talking in whispers as if sharing their darkest secrets. They begged her until she agreed to tell them, taking a moment to think of a version of the truth that would seem plausible enough:
“He attended a party I was working at. It hosted some rich merchants and their sons and he was sitting by himself so I went to entertain him. We just…talked and I told him I would rather work for him than be in the brothel so he offered to buy me out.” It really didn’t sound true to her ears, not without the context of the fact that she had already worked for him before, but the two girls were watching her as if it was the best story they had ever heard.

“So it was love at first sight!” Faran swooned, leaning onto Meng dramatically as the girl laughed. Maomao ignored the comment, though she did feel her face flush a little.

“That was a while ago, but more recently we were out for a midnight walk but we were interrupted by Shuai. He threatened me and Jinshi agreed to leave with him to keep me safe. After a few days I decided to go after him.”

“To tell him how you feel, of course!” Faran was ecstatic, Maomao could practically see the stars in her eyes as she grabbed Maomao’s hand. “Oh Maomao, you have to tell him you love him!”

“I-”

“We have to get him back from Shuai first.” Meng added, her face contemplative.

“Shuai was the man I saw?” Faran said, clenching her fist as if she wished she could go back in time to punch him. “That rat, I knew I didn’t like him the moment I saw him.

“You wouldn’t stop talking about how handsome he was.” Meng rolled her eyes at Faran.

“Well that was before I knew he took Jinshi away from Maomao.”

“Then you can hit him when we go to get Jinshi back.” Faran nodded and Meng stood, but Maomao just sat there confused. Meng looked at her, “that is what you plan to do at the party right? We can provide a distraction and you can slip off with him but this will probably be the first place he looks for you guys.”

“If we get them drunk enough, they won’t figure it out till morning. It’ll give them a head start.”

Maomao could only sit there, dumbfounded as the two girls plotted back and forth. Without a second thought they had decided to help, but Maomao couldn’t let them without knowing the dangers. She opened her mouth to tell them to drop it, but Meng caught her eye and cut her off.

“Don’t. You look like the type to do something stupid like go alone, but not this time. Things will go easier with help and you know it.” Her tone said she was used to being listened to.

“It’ll be dangerous.”

“As if we didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, it's already dangerous for courtesans to go out to meet with clients instead of having them at the brothel. That’s why we’re all going to the party.” Faran seemed unbothered, cleaning out under her nails as if this was a normal conversation. “Besides, this is like a story from those romance novels Lian had though usually it's the guy going to save the girl but this is a little more exciting.”

“You don’t know-”

“Look, Maomao.” Meng had her hands on her hips, looking down at Maomao with a face that was somehow stern and soft at the same time. “We can see how much you care about him, and we have to go there anyway since Madam already took half the payment up front. Either way we’re gonna be there.”

She gave Maomao a pointed look, waiting a few seconds before she turned as if to leave.

“Wait.” Maomao hated asking for help, but she had to admit it would be much easier with help from the other courtesans - if only so that she could tell them to keep out of her way and avoid Shuai at all costs. Meng turned back, a smug look on her face that reminded her briefly of Jinshi when he convinced Maomao to do what she wanted.

Her heart gave another painful tug.

“Come, we need to pick out your outfit and you can tell us what the plan is while we do.”

Chapter Text

Shuai left him alone for days after leaving Jinshi with the horrifying truth of Maomao’s childhood, along with the disturbing truth that Jinshi was being used as blackmail against her.

In truth Jinshi thought that somehow Shuai had known who he was, being kidnapped for his true identity had always seemed like something that would happen sooner or later. He hadn’t feared the way he did now; Maomao put up a hard front but she would never willingly harm someone with her poisons unless they deserved it.

She also wouldn’t do anything to hurt him if she could avoid it.

The thought of her being given the option between hurting someone in the inner court, or him being hurt - he could only hope she would do the smart thing and not hurt anyone for his sake.

He was contemplating his restraints for the thousandth time when the door swung open, Shuai barging in with a smile on his face that seemed far too strained for his usual demeanor.

“You’ll be happy to hear, your dear Maomao is awake.” His fingers held the door until his knuckles turned white, but his face still held the teasing smile he always wore. Jinshi didn’t say anything, but he found himself holding his breath as he waited for Shuai to continue. “She’s apparently been awake for a while.” The door slammed, making Jinshi jolt.

Pacing in the room, Shuai seemed more nervous than Jinshi could ever imagine. It was unsettling to see the man who so boldly entered his court and poisoned his food now look at though he would jump at any loud noise.

“She swapped places with another maid and managed to make it out of the palace without being noticed.” A small kernel of pride warmed Jinshi, though he managed to keep his face neutral.

“I don’t know where she would go, if that’s what you intend to ask me.” He stopped pacing then, midstep he side eyed Jinshi as if considering him.

“I know where she’s going.” Waving his hand, Shuai resumed his pacing. “I just need to figure out how much of a head start she’s had.”

Jinshi watched in silence as Shuai seemed to talk to himself, his mind at ease for the first time in days. If Maomao made it out of the palace without being caught then Lakan must have helped her. If there was one thing Jinshi trusted Lakan with it was Maomao’s life; Jinshi could never doubt the sincere love he carried for his daughter even if it wasn’t reciprocated. Lakan must have gotten Maomao somewhere safe.

“The men we hired are restless, and if I cancel the courtesans I might have to pay them double just to get them to the next town.” Shuai mused to himself, as if Jinshi wasn’t even there. “We should be at least a few days ahead of her even if she figured out where we went.”

“She won’t come here.” The thought of Maomao chasing after Shuai was insane; she was reckless, he had to admit, but not that reckless.

Shuai turned to him, taking steps towards him until he was close enough that Jinshi could kick him if he wanted to. He smiled at him as if he told a joke, but slowly it faded until he looked confused then amused.

“For someone who insisted I didn’t know her, you don’t seem to know her that well yourself.” Jinshi clenched his jaw, seriously considering kicking the man as hard as he could.

“She’s not stupid.”

“No, she certainly isn’t. Which means she’ll come with a plan.” Shuai sighed, stretching his arms casually as if taunting Jinshi with the temptation of hitting him. “If I’m being honest, I didn’t expect to have to worry about this for a while yet. I expected her to follow after I told her to poison someone, but you know what they say about carefully laid plans.” His words were light, but Jinshi didn’t miss the shifting in his eyes and the nervous ticks in his body that gave him away. Shuai was scared.

“You’re scared of her.” The words left Jinshi’s mouth in shock before he could stop them. He certainly didn’t envy anyone on the receiving end of Maomao’s anger, but to be scared of her?

“Not being scared of her would be the stupid thing to do - there’s a reason why I initiated contact with her on my terms..” He held up his fingers, counting them as he spoke. “Her knowledge and tolerance of both common and exotic poisons means she could poison someone easily while her decisions are made logically and without emotions. Her life means little to her, so threats mean nothing and other than Luomen she doesn’t have any personal connections worth exploiting.” Shuai’s eyes slid to Jinshi pointedly. “Until now.”

“None of that means she’ll come.” Shuai threw his hands in the air, groaning as if in mock pain.

“You’re so dense, it’s a wonder she puts up with you.” Pinching his nose he took a breath as if preparing himself. Looking Jinshi dead in the eyes, he spoke as if talking to a child. “She’ll come because she’s in love with you.”

Jinshi just stared. As if his mind couldn’t understand the words.

Maomao didn’t love him, despite how much he wished she did. He wasn’t even sure Maomao was capable of loving anyone in that way. Shuai just kept speaking, ignoring the internal crisis Jinshi was having.

“I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but when you showed up that night there was genuine fear in her eyes. I’ve seen a lot of emotions from Maomao, but never fear.”

“She won’t come.” But this time his voice was tinged with uncertainty. She had gone to the ritual, had risked her life pushing him out of the way and she hadn’t even known it was him.

Would she really come?

“She’ll come, but with any luck she won’t catch us here. After tomorrow’s little gathering we’ll move - leaving just enough information behind that Maomao will be able to follow.” Shuai moved quickly then, his hand darting out with the flash of a blade that Jinshi spotted but only barely avoided. The blade sheared through the collar of his robe, leaving a burning line against his neck. Jinshi struggled against the chains as Shuai tore the fabric, pressing it against his neck painfully before jumping back away from him.

Shuai held the fabric up in his hands, the blood from his cut staining the fabric a darker blue.

“A little incentive for her to find.” Shuai waved it at him, the taunting smirk back but there was still a small amount of fear in his eyes when he left Jinshi alone once again.

Chapter Text

“Aren’t you worried that Jinshi won’t recognize you?” Faran asked as Maomao scrubbed the dye from her hands. She had waited to re-apply it so that the risk of her natural color coming through would be minimal. If Shuai recognized her before she even entered the building, the night would sour to a point that she wasn’t sure she would be able to salvage.

“It would probably go smoother if he didn’t.” A good portion of her plan relied on Jinshi’s unspoken cooperation; but another part of it relied on her ability to pretend she wasn’t herself. The thought of acting out the duties of a courtesan in front of him made her nervous in a way she was unfamiliar with.

“The wine is all loaded.” Meng called as she entered the bathhouse, her makeup and hair already arranged in a modest but pretty way. She would definitely be a favorite among the men.

“Have the others taken their pill?” Maomao had laced the wine with poison but had managed to gather enough ingredients to make a dose of the antidote for the women who would be attending. Though she had instructed them to avoid drinking as much as possible, they would have to drink at times and Maomao wasn’t so cold hearted to risk their lives.

“I watched them all do it myself.” Nodding to herself, Maomao gave up on washing the rest of the dye from her hands and began replacing her inner robes. “They’ve been instructed on the basics of the plan: make sure every man drinks, avoid going anywhere other than the main hall and be prepared to leave quickly when told. They’re smart girls, they’ll follow through.”

“I’m sorry to have had to involve them, they should know the risks of what they’re doing.” Maomao had explained her entire plan to Meng and Faran, but she had been torn with explaining it to the others. In the end Meng had decided that it was best to keep them in the dark, she would think of what to tell them to get them to listen and Maomao could apologize after it was all over.

Back in Meng’s room Maomao busied herself with her hair and makeup, allowing Faran to help with the parts she couldn’t reach while she did her makeup in the style Pairin had taught her. It was much flashier than what seemed to be popular among the brothel girls, but Faran had insisted she keep it.

“You look like a completely different person, Maomao!” Meng had hummed her approval as well, returning with dresses of varying colors for Maomao to choose from.

Whenever she had been forced to dress up for her sisters they always put her in bright, colorful dresses. Pinks and yellows, it made her look younger in her eyes but her sisters insisted it countered her gloomy disposition. When she chose for herself, Maomao preferred earthy tones like green and brown, neutral and unassuming.

But her eyes were drawn to one of the dresses Meng had brought, a deep purple that shimmered like Jinshi’s hair when the sunlight caught it. It was far too flashy for a courtesan to wear to a party to entertain hired men, it belonged on a stage entertaining the Emperor himself.

Meng caught her looking with a small smile and handed it to her.

“I figured you might like that one.” Maomao had given them a description of Jinshi, so that they would know him and know to avoid giving him wine. Maomao had an extra antidote tucked into a pouch that she could give him, but it would be hard to give it to him without notice and there was a chance he would be affected by it.

“It’s far too expensive.” Despite her words, Maomao took the dress in her hands. The fabric was smooth and cool against her skin, the shawls that accompanied it were long and flowing. “I can’t wear this.”

“Sure you can.” Meng tossed the rest of the dresses on her bed, pulling Maomao to her feet. “It’s mine but the color doesn’t suit me. Consider it a gift; you can’t reunite with your beloved without looking the part.”

“He’s not my beloved.”

Meng ignored her, and before long Maomao found herself dressed and done up like a top courtesan.

“The girls will be waiting for us.”

“I’ll be there in a moment.” Maomao waited until Meng and Faran had left before moving.

She had prepared a few contingencies that she didn’t need anyone to know about.

The first was a poison that she had mixed into a paste and dyed red, the effects of the poison were painful but not deadly and Maomao applied it quickly to her lips overtop of the lipstick she wore. She expected to have to deal with a fair amount of handsy manhandling, but she would be damned if one of them thought they would kiss her without consequence. Her lips tingled at the contact, but it was a poison she had long since become immune to otherwise.

The second was a small blade that she had tucked into her bag. She took it out, carefully cutting a hole in the fabric of her dress at her thigh so she could reach it without having to hike up her skirt. The blade was just a small hunting knife, probably used for cutting rope snares and nothing else - it wasn’t long or dangerous but it would cut and that’s all Maomao needed. She had filled the sheath carefully with poison, letting the blade soak in it the past few days. This poison was fatal, and meant for one of two people.

Her, if things went badly.

Shuai if things went as planned.

She would not be used.

Maomao turned to leave, but caught the glimmer of something from her bag. Turning she spied Jinshi’s hair pin, peeking out from under her regular clothes. She gave it little thought, picking up the pin she slipped it into her hair before turning to leave.

–

The manor they arrived at was decently out of town, the carriage that brought them had trouble with the rough pathway and it was clear from the overgrown brush around the building that it had not seen guests in a long time.

“I’m surprised your Madam agreed to such a sketchy invitation.” Maomao mused as she eyed the front of the Manor. There was a figure standing in the doorway waiting for their arrival, and Maomao would bet any amount of money that it was Shuai.

She had no way of knowing if disappearance had been noticed in the palace yet, but if it had it wouldn’t surprise her that he would want to make sure Maomao wasn’t among the courtesans attending this night. If she had been in his shoes, she wouldn’t have even hired them for worry of her sneaking in among them.

The girls piled out of the carriage, their excited whispers hiding their nervousness. Maomao followed suit, turning to Faran with a coy smile that she had mastered under Meimei’s guidance. They stood there while Shuai eyed them all, not bothering to hide his scrutiny as Maomao did her best to remain relaxed and keep her hands hidden.

After a few minutes he let them inside, his face no longer interested now that he had determined they weren’t a threat. Maomao tried to keep track of where he was in the room, but he quickly disappeared which suited her just fine.

The room they were led to was filled with a dozen men, all looking at though they hadn’t properly bathed in days and spent most of their time out in the woods surrounding the manor. The girls dispersed, some carrying jugs of alcohol to their targets while others began dancing in the center of the room.

Maomao made her rounds, floating between tables as she flirted and teased the men into drinking enough that she was sure the poison would affect them. Hands that reached for her were batted away with a coy smile and a wink that sucked a little bit of her soul out but she was pleased that she didn’t let it show.

A light hand touched her and Meng led her towards the center of the room where Faran was preparing to dance.

“There’s one man that’s not drinking.” Meng whispered, her face looking as though she was enjoying her time despite her words. “He’s sitting in the corner, but not even Faran could get him to take a sip.”

Maomao laughed, letting her eyes slowly roam the room until she spotted the man in question. He was young, and though he eyed the alcohol in front of him and the girls as they moved around the room, he didn’t accept any of their company nor did he touch the cup in front of him.

“Is there water?” Meng pointed her to a small table where some had been set up, Maomao excused herself and filled a glass before approaching the man.

“Go away.” The words were harsh, but his eyes roved over her skin like he was starving. It made Maomao want to throw the water at him, but instead she moved her hips the way she had been taught and ignored him.

“You seemed thirsty, so I brought some water.” Maomao perched on the table, blocking his view of Meng and Faran as they danced in the center, forcing the man to raise his eyes to look at her as she drank from the glass. “See? Won’t hurt you.” She held it out for him, careful to make sure her hand was covered by her shawl.

He eyed her again, and Maomao held herself there even as one of his hands touched her thigh. She imagined herself a poisonous snake, and the man a rat that unknowingly stepped a little closer.

“I’m supposed to be keeping you out of trouble.” But he took the glass, pressing his lips to the same spot Maomao had drank from - her lip coloring rubbing off the glass and onto his own lips. The image of Jinshi with her lip coloring on his lips layered over the man’s face and Maomao felt her own smile turn cold.

“A little too late for that.” Maomao heard a small shriek behind her, quickly muffled by the other girls. The man in front of her went to move, but Maomao sat in his lap forcing him to remain seated as she grabbed his cheek with her hand. “Drinking the wine would have been far less painful for you.”

The poison from her lips was fast acting, his lips had already swelled and she watched his face as she remembered the affects in her own body the first time she had consumed it. The poison irritated everywhere it touched, causing swelling and burning like sensations that nothing could calm until eventually the victim passed out. It took days to get it out of your system but wouldn’t kill you.

Though it could make you wish otherwise.

She turned her head to watch with disinterest as the men in the room fell unconscious, dropping like flies around the girls who quickly moved to gather around Meng and Faran.

“Now, you’re going to tell me what I want to know or I’m going to leave you here to die.” Maomao crossed her legs, arms around the man’s neck as she whispered in his ear to avoid scaring the girls any further. “The poison I gave you will kill you,” the lie easily fell from her lips, “but I have the antidote. It’s yours if you cooperate. Nod if you agree.” The man’s head nodded frantically, accompanied by a tremor in his legs that told her how scared he was.

With Jinshi so close, she couldn’t find it in her to care.

“Somewhere in this building is a man with purple hair, probably locked up. Have you seen him?” More nodding and Maomao felt her heart soar. She was so close. “Which door leads to him?”

The man raised an arm, pointing in the direction of a door off to the side of the room. Maomao patted his cheek before standing. The man reached for her but she ignored him, her eyes solely focused on the door he had pointed at and nothing else.

“Maomao?” Faran called for her, Maomao spoke over her shoulder but didn’t look away from her goal.

“Take the girls and get out, go back to the brothel. If I don’t join you by morning, wait until a man named Lakan comes looking for me then bring him here.”

She didn’t wait to see if they did as she instructed, slipping through the door quickly as she began to look for Jinshi.

Chapter Text

Much to Jinshi’s annoyance, Shuai seemed determined to spend the evening bothering him instead of participating in the entertainment that Jinshi had heard arrive. Shuai had simply procured a bottle of the wine they had brought and settled himself in sitting against the door. It seemed that taunting Jinshi brought him more joy than the courtesans would.

“I would have let you attend but I doubt you’d behave.” Jinshi had hoped the man would drink himself unconscious, but despite having brought the wine he didn’t bother to pour it. “Though I suppose seeing courtesans might bother you. Did you know she’s fully trained? Even though I doubt she’s ever danced for anyone.”

Jinshi treasured the small satisfaction he got from knowing Shuai had never seen Maomao dance. Not that she had danced for him specifically, but Jinshi remembered the way she moved on the palace walls fondly, pretending it had been meant for his eyes only. Knowing that she had been dancing for her mother made it all the more special that he got to witness tha private moment.

“If you want I can bring one to entertain you. We’ll be leaving tomorrow so I doubt it will matter if someone sees you.”

Jinshi considered agreeing for a moment; not that he had any hope that the girl would help him in any way but if Shuai was right and Maomao was coming after them he could have the girl warn her to stop. He immediately discarded the idea, Maomao wouldn’t listen no matter who he got to give her the message.

“Why aren’t you attending?” It was the first time Jinshi had initiated a conversation with the man, but he was tired.

He had spent every moment of the past few days trying to figure out a way to get out, or leave something for Maomao to find to know he was okay. His neck still stung from the cut Shuai had given him, and the blood had soaked the front of his robes leaving an uncomfortable, scratching sensation every time he moved. The chains had chafed against his skin from his attempts to pull or maneuver himself into a better position and he was sure that he would be drugged come tomorrow morning.

Jinshi could do nothing but wait for someone to find him.

“Alcohol and women are both a different kind of poison, one that I don’t have any interest in.” He uncorked the bottle, giving it a disdainful sniff.

Something changed in his eye as his hand paused midway to recorking it. He brought it back to his nose and took a long inhale as if it was the best thing he had ever smelled.

“There’s no way.” Shuai knocked over the bottle in his haste to stand, wine spilling over the floor as he opened the door and left before Jinshi could even bother to ask. He had thought he saw worry in his face, but Jinshi didn’t put much hope in it - the man made no sense anyway.

Sighing he settled back against the wall, doing his best to position himself in a way that nothing hurt. He almost wished he had asked Shuai to let him drink some wine if only to dull his aches.

The door opened but Shuai’s voice didn’t immediately annoy him, Jinshi thought about pretending to be asleep but the lack of sound from him made him curious.

Opening one of his eyes he saw a young courtesan, her black hair pulled back into a style that complimented her face well. For a moment Jinshi was stunned by how beautiful she was, her dress shimmered in the minimal light of the room so that he couldn’t tell if it was purple or blue but he was entranced by it.

He opened his mouth to tell her to leave, but stopped as he met her eyes. They were wide but devoid of the fear he expected given his appearance and the circumstances. Instead there was relief in her eyes that seemed to overwhelm her. She took a hesitant step inside, the light moving over her to shimmer against her hair pin.

His hair pin.

“Mao…mao?” Her name seemed to break the spell she was held in, shutting the door quickly behind her Jinshi could only blink before she was kneeling on the bed in front of him. Her hands hovered his face the way his had the last time he saw her but there was no concern in her eyes.

There was only anger.

“You…” She stammered, her eyes roaming his face as if unsure it was really him. “You idiot.” She moved past him, making him unable to see her face while she examined the chains where they connected at the wall. Her voice shook with her barely restrained anger, as she scolded him in whispers he could barely hear. “Do you have a death wish? Do you have any idea of the danger that you’ve put yourself in?”

For a moment Jinshi could say nothing, finally hearing her voice after so many days of imagining it he almost couldn’t believe he had been right that she would scold him as the first thing.

“And you didn’t?” Jinshi’s own anger sparked, he wanted her desperately to come back to face him so he could see her. “If you had just told me about Shuai-”

“You would have done something equally as stupid I’m sure.”

“You almost died.”

“It doesn’t matter!” They’re hushed yelling grew slightly louder, Maomao had determined the chains were no good and had returned to him but she still wouldn’t look in his eyes. Her voice was quieter than his, but there was a distinct tremor in her hands as she examined the chains around his wrist. “I am just a servant; replaceable but you-”

“You are not replaceable, Maomao.” Jinshi hated that his arms couldn’t reach her, he pulled against the chains just to suffer a slap against his arm from Maomao. “Do you know how scared I was when you collapsed in my arms-”

“Do you know how scared I was?” She finally met his eyes, her face a mask of anger but Jinshi’s rebuke caught in his throat at the tears that threatened to fall in her eyes. Her blue iris’ swimming in unshed tears making her eyes look even more beautiful. “Not telling you was stupid of me, but I did it to protect you. When I woke up and learned you had been taken I thought…” A tear did escape her eyes then, rolling down her cheek. For a moment she stared at him, her lip trembling as if she might break down right then and there.

Jinshi could only hold himself still, as if scared that any movement might shatter this vulnerable side of his apothecary. He pulled against the chains lightly, aching to wipe away the tears for her. Aching to kiss her. If she broke down now and he couldn’t pull her into his arms he might lose his mind.

“Maomao-” There was so much he wanted to say to her, he wasn’t even sure what would have come out of his mouth if she hadn’t cut him off.

She closed her eyes, wiping the escaped tears as she took a long breath to compose herself.

“Where is Shuai?”

“He left a few moments before you got here, he smelled the wine and then left in a hurry.” Maomao turned her head, seeing the knocked over wine bottle for the first time and cursing. She turned back, grabbing his face and holding it between her hands.

“Did you drink any of it?”

“N-no.” She turned his head sideways, examining his face for something but the movement pulled on the gash at his neck and Jinshi couldn’t help the pained wince. She froze, her eyes hardening as he watched them slowly drift down his neck to notice his wound.

Jinshi could almost feel the room freeze over, the remaining tears in her eyes instantly seeming to clear as her face became a mask of anger that Jinshi hadn’t seen before. Her eyes locked on his neck as one of her hands left his face to peel back his robes, gentle despite the rage he could see bubbling inside her. He watched her as she examined the injury, his own eyes wandering to the spilled wine in curiosity at both of their reactions to it.

“Shuai has the key to these chains.” It wasn’t a question, and Jinshi couldn’t nod with her other hand still holding his cheek. Her voice lacked emotion, sounding as if she was giving a diagnosis to him - forming a plan in her mind so clearly that Jinshi could see where she was going with her words and immediately pulled against the chains again.

“You are not going after him alone.”

“She won’t need to.”

Chapter Text

Maomao forced her eyes away from the gash across Jinshi’s neck, the blood that had seeped into his robes told her that it had been left untreated and uncleaned since it had happened however long ago. She knew Shuai had done it, and any reservations she had about taking his life vanished in her mind.

She expected hot anger, prepared to force it back down her throat like hot coals in order to keep her mind clear. Instead she found a chill settle over her skin, her mind clearing better than it had in days.

Turning slowly, she made sure to keep her body directly in front of Jinshi’s. Every step that Shuai took to the side she copied so that he never had a clear line to him while her brain ran through the possible outcomes of the standoff with him.

It was good that Jinshi hadn’t drank the wine, one small saving grace in the night’s events.

“The wine?” His voice was taunting but Maomao didn’t miss the slight tremor of anger in the words. She had tricked him, and Shuai never liked being tricked. She shrugged, forcing her face to remain as neutral as possible but she knew he could see the murderous intent in her eyes. “Fatal?”

“Who knows.” Shuai took more steps to the side, leaving enough space between him and the door as if taunting Maomao to run for it. Instead she continued to put herself between him and Jinshi - she would not leave this room without him. The chains rattled as Jinshi said something that both Shuai and Maomao ignored.

“The courtesans?”

“Gone.” There was a slight tinge of regret - she had not wanted to put the girls in unnecessary danger but it would have been easier to overpower Shuai with numbers. She had not been willing to risk their lives for herself, but for Jinshi…

For Jinshi she might have done it.

Maomao was at a disadvantage in almost every way that mattered and Shuai had to have realized it. Neither of them were prone to physical fights and therefore they both lacked experience, but Shuai had the advantage of size on her - in a physical fight she wouldn’t win. Not to mention that she was tethered to the man chained behind her, all Shuai had to do to get her to co-operate would be to make it to Jinshi and threaten him which meant she couldn’t move from between the two men.

Yet she had a few advantages. Neither of them would allow the other to get close enough to administer a poison and Maomao’s better tolerance would ensure that Shuai didn’t attempt to poison the room. He also wouldn’t suspect the knife she had strapped to her leg, though finding an opening to use it would be the trouble.

Fingers struggled to grasp her wrist as Maomao realized she had just barely moved into range of Jinshi’s hands. He had been speaking to her, she realized, telling her to leave and get out as his fingers scraped against the stained skin of her hands. Without breaking eye contact with Shuai she turned her hand, reaching back so that she could place her hand fully in Jinshi’s to give it a comforting squeeze. Shuai’s eyes touched their joined hands, before they returned to her face.

“I never thought there would come a day, Maomao, that you would do something as stupid as fall in love with someone.” His voice dripped with disapproval, his disgust with it plain on his face.

For a moment Maomao debated denying it, her mouth already open as the words lined up in her mind. She had been denying it to herself for so long that it was a natural reaction for her to glare and pretend that it was just as disgusting of a thought as Shuai believed it to be.

“It can’t really be that surprising.” She said instead, injecting a mocking tone into her voice as she squeezed Jinshi’s hand a little tighter. “You’re the one that always said love was a poison - have you ever known me to turn down poison.”

It was the closest she had ever come to admitting she knew what love was out loud. She had never once said she loved anyone, even Luomen who had been the only person she truly cared about. Maomao suddenly wondered what face Jinshi was making, how he felt about her saying such a thing - her stomach knotted itself as she stubbornly kept herself from turning her head to look at him.

“You always did want to die by poison. I’m giving you one last chance, Maomao - call it a favor since we used to be close. Come with me and I’ll even leave him here to be found by whoever comes after you.”

It was a good offer, and for a moment Maomao considered how likely Shuai was to keep his promise. Without the threat of harm to Jinshi, Shuai wouldn’t be able to keep her obedient enough to have her free to roam as she wished. Most likely she would end up chained just as Jinshi was now and the cycle would repeat with their places swapped. And that was assuming Shuai left Jinshi to be found alive.

“Maomao!” Jinshi was protesting, pulling at their joined hands hard enough that Maomao might have stumbled if her knees weren’t being held up by the bed behind her. She pinched the skin on the back of his hand between her thumb and pointer finger, held it until Jinshi’s hand loosened enough that she could slip her hand from his - the loss of contact left her hand cold.

“I’m not leaving here without Jinshi, and he’s not leaving with you.” She kept her hand behind her back, inching it towards the cut in her skirt that would give her access to the poisoned blade.

Shuai sighed, his own hand pulling out a hunting knife of his own that she hadn’t seen on him. He held it with the awkwardness of someone unused to brandishing a weapon at someone, but experience didn’t matter in this moment. If he rushed her and she moved, he would hit Jinshi. If he rushed her and she didn’t move, he would hit her.

“It really is a shame to kill you, Maomao. Such wasted potential.” She moved her hand a little closer to her own weapon.

Maomao had run through a lot of options in her mind, playing out each scenario to judge them for their chance of success. The highest chance of getting Jinshi out alive had been this scenario. Shuai didn’t think Maomao had a weapon on her, if he got close enough to her that she could draw it and cut him without him moving away she would win. In the end it didn’t matter if she died, all she needed was a single, deep enough cut on Shuai and he would go down.

As Shuai took a testing step towards her, clearly waiting to see if Maomao would run, Maomao found herself thinking how odd it was that she wasn’t scared about what was surely going to happen next.

A few things happened in quick succession.

Shuai rushed her, the blade held sloppily in his hand as he aimed for what she had assumed was her heart.

Jinshi screamed, his voice desperate and scratchy as his fingers caught her shawl and pulled on it in a vain attempt to get her out of the way.

Maomao’s hand slipped into her skirt, unnoticed by either men as she gripped the handle of her blade and waited for the right moment.

Pain lanced her shoulder, a burning cold that she had never experienced before in her life. Even with her normally dulled pain receptors, she could feel every inch that the blade cut into her shoulder. It took every ounce of Maomao’s control to prevent herself from closing her eyes against the pain, to keep her body still instead of shrinking back to try and escape it. Both Jinshi and Shuai were saying things, Jinshi yelling and Shuai saying something that was lost in the ringing in her ears.

She pulled the blade free from its sheath, feeling the tearing of the fabric at her skirt and quietly praying that she hadn’t managed to knick her own skin in the process. Swinging her arm, she approximated where Shuai’s body would be and drove the knife as hard as she could into him.

For a moment Shuai stilled against her in surprise, no noise came from him and Maomao doubted that she had hit him for a moment. Then he stepped back, the sudden movement causing Maomao to lose her balance as she slumped to the floor.

Shuai swayed, his hand shaking as he reached around to touch the handle of her blade before he too collapsed to the floor. His mouth opened, but only a choking noise came out before Maomao watched the poison take him. Lying on the floor in front of her, Shuai took a single rattled breath before he stopped moving entirely.

It was over.

Maomao sat there for a moment, wondering at how quickly the relief had taken her pain away. She wanted nothing more than to lay down and sleep as she lazily leaned her head back against the bed behind her. Someone was calling her name, shaking the pillow under her head…

Mind clearing for a moment, Maomao grabbed the handle of the blade Shuai had stabbed her with and twisted it - pain clearing her mind even more as she cursed. She should have expected Shuai to have poisoned his own blade.

Moving as quickly as her failing body would allow, she crawled over to Shuai’s body, her hands searching through his robes until she found a key. Ripping it from him, she crawled her way back towards Jinshi.

“Jinshi…” She spat, trying to rid her mouth of the fuzziness so she could speak properly before her brain fogged up. She pulled herself into the bed, leaning forward for a moment as she waited for the dizziness to pass. Her head against his shoulder as she took a shuddering breath. “Listen - when you leave you need to go to the brothel in town. Ask for Meng or Faran, they know…” She forced her head to lift, swaying slightly as she blindly used her hands to follow Jinshi’s arms down to the shackle on his wrist. “Wait there for two days, Lakan…Lakan is coming.”

“Please…mao…” Jinshi’s voice trailed in and out of her haze. She grabbed the blade in her shoulder again, giving herself a momentary surge of pain and clarity. Her hand shook as she inserted the key into the shackle, turning it with all the strength left in her hand.

The now freed hand grabbed the key from her, disappearing to unlock the other shackle. The knowledge that Jinshi was finally free, finally safe, left Maomao to fall back to lay across his lap. Hands touched her face, trailing to her lips. Maomao smacked them away, swallowing a few times before she was able to speak again.

“My lips are poisoned, don’t...”

Staying conscious was hard, focusing on the words Jinshi was saying were even harder. Water was dripping on her face and she wondered sleepily when she had gotten outside. She tried to open her eyes; Jinshi would need help getting back to town, she really should have thought of that, but she could see nothing but a shimmering purple.

She reached a hand up, trailing her fingers through the color as small laughter bubbled out of her deliriously. Shuai and her had thought of the same plan, but only one of them had the intention of killing - she recognized the warm fatigue spreading through her body. She snorted, reaching for the purple again as she tried to pull herself out of the effects and focus on what was happening.

It was no use; she had too many poisons in her system from the night and Shuai had clearly used a large dose to ensure it took effect. Maomao let out a sigh, deciding to hold onto whatever she had grabbed with her hands until she slipped into unconsciousness.

Chapter Text

Jinshi’s hands shook so hard that it took him three times to fit the key into the shackle on his right hand, turning it violently as he threw it off of him. Instantly his hands were on Maomao, his eyes frantically roaming from her face to the knife sticking out of her shoulder as he tried to figure out what to do. Her hands reached up, half heartedly smacking his hands away when they trailed to close to her lips, mumbling something about poison that Jinshi could barely make out.

“Stay with me, Maomao.” He repeated the words like a mantra, as if trying to soothe himself as much as command her. The tears fell freely onto her face as he did his best to adjust her so that he could move without jostling the blade in her.

First thing he needed to do was deal with her injuries; carrying her back with a blade still in her shoulder would cause more damage than good. He wasn’t nearly as proficient with caring for injuries as Maomao was, but he knew enough to stem the bleeding for now. He grabbed the hem of his robe, tearing it into strips and discarding the dirty bits so that he could wrap her shoulder.

When he turned back Maomao’s hand was reaching for his hair, a smile on her face that was softer than anything he had ever seen on her. It stunned him, and he could do nothing but watch as she laughed lightly, sounding as if she was just lying down for a nap and not possibly dying in his lap.

It suited her, the softness that she never showed anyone.

“I love you, Maomao.” Jinshi whispered, unsure if she had heard him as she seemed to sigh and slip into true unconsciousness. He touched her face, careful to avoid her lips as his thumb trailed up and down her cheek. “I love you, but I am so incredibly angry with you.”

She didn’t respond, and Jinshi apologized in a whisper as he set about treating her injury. It concerned him when she didn’t so much as flinch when he pulled the blade from her skin with a noise that made him consider stabbing Shuai’s body a few times before he left. As quickly as he could, Jinshi wrapped her shoulder tightly, making sure to put extra padding over the actual wound.

Carefully he lifted her into his arms, his eyes on her face with every movement he made to check for signs of discomfort but she remained as peaceful as if she were sleeping in her bed. It did nothing to comfort him.

Jinshi opened a door to what appeared to be a main hall, and for a moment he stood there and took in the scene with wide eyes. Chairs and tables were set up for drinking, but all the men present were slumped in their chairs or lying on the floor as if drunk and unconscious. He remembered Shuai asking if the wine had been fatal, remembered Maomao’s cold response.

For a moment he could see Maomao in the room, pouring drinks for the men with a fake smile, knowing that she was poisoning them. Had the poison been fatal? Were any of the men breathing?

Did he care?

His steps echoed in the hall as he moved, ignoring the bodies as he made for the door.

Cold night air hit him as he opened the door., Jinshi began walking as fast as he could with his wobbling legs and an injured Maomao in his arms. She had mentioned a brothel, but hadn’t said which one - Jinshi didn’t even know what town he was in or how many he might have to knock at until he found the right one. How would he explain an injured and drugged courtesan in his arms, or his own bruises and injuries?

“Jinshi!” A woman’s voice called to him. Jinshi froze, though he hadn’t seen any women working for Shuai that didn’t mean there wasn’t any. He turned slightly, protectively keeping Maomao as out of view as possible as he spotted two courtesans running to catch up with him. “You’re Jinshi right?” The taller one asked, her breath coming in pants. The other girl spotted Maomao in his arms and gasped, lunging forward as if she would jump on her.

“Maomao?!” Jinshi moved away from her but turned so that Maomao was visible. Both women looked panicked, the worry on their faces for Maomao easing the wariness Jinshi felt.

“Are you the courtesans that came with her?”

“Walk and talk, she needs to see a doctor.” The taller one grabbed his arm, hauling him behind her as she walked confidently along the path towards town, reminding him of Maomao with her tone. The other girl followed quickly on Jinshi’s other side, though she kept looking at Maomao with tears in her eyes.

“She’s…alive, right?”

“Of course she is, Faran. Don’t say stupid things like that.” And yet the girl looked back at Jinshi for confirmation.

“She’s alive. I think she’s been drugged, but she’s breathing.” The girl nodded once, her face setting in a stubborn determination as they kept walking.

They were silent most of the way, other than Faran and the older girl who he now knew was called Meng, introducing themselves. Jinshi didn’t recognize the town or the brothel in the darkness of the night, but the girls led him in through the back entrance and up to the room that Maomao had been staying in.

Jinshi laid her on the bed gently, taking off his outer robe and placing it under her to prevent the blood on her clothes from seeping into the bedding while Meng summoned the Madam of the house.

He sat beside the bed, refusing to move even as a disgruntled physician came to treated Maomao’s wound despite his grumbling and side eyeing. Announcing that her injury was not life threatening, and that he had no knowledge of poisons but she seemed fine enough to him the physician left after speaking with the Madam about cost.

“I will pay you triple whatever his cost was.” Jinshi said, adjusting his seat so he could sit beside Maomao once again. He placed her hand gently in his, squeezing it the way she had when he had been chained. The Madam snorted, waving her hand dismissively.

“That old hag from the Verdigris paid me more than enough to cover this girl's bill.” Despite her tone, the woman gave Jinshi a small smile before forcing Meng and Faran to leave Jinshi alone with Maomao. The two girls reluctantly left, promising to return first thing in the morning.

Two days, Maomao had said two days until Lakan would get there.

Exhausted and worried, Jinshi didn’t even notice that he had fallen asleep until the feeling of a hand brushing his hair out of his eyes woke him.

When he opened his eyes, Maomao was staring at him - her own eyes half lidded and foggy as if she was still dreaming.

“Jin…shi?”

“Mmm?” Jinshi squeezed her hand again, tilting his head to the side so he could look at her. She gave a weak squeeze in response, but it felt as though she had squeezed his entire heart with the movement.

“Where…?” She swallowed a few times, her face scrunching with discomfort as she tried to get the words out.

“We’re at the brothel, Meng and Faran brought us here.” He lifted his head, intending to get her something to drink but Maomao made a noise of annoyance and squeezed his hand harder. He almost wanted to laugh, but instead he patted her hand as he pulled himself free. “I’m going to get you some water.”

Retrieving the water, Jinshi helped Maomao sit up enough that she could drink but when he brought the cup to her lips she moved her head away in protest.

“My lips…wipe the poison…”

“What kind of idiot poisons their own lips.” Jinshi had meant for it to come out angry, still upset with Maomao for putting herself in such a stupid position. He would yell at her, eventually, for everything - but for now he couldn’t help that his voice held such relief and love for the woman.

He tore at his robes again, soaking the fabric in water before returning to wipe at Maomao’s face.

“I didn’t want…anyone else to…” Jinshi hushed her by pressing the fabric to her mouth, making sure all of the red was gone from her lips before he discarded the scrap of robe and brought the water back to her lips. His heart beat wildly in his chest as his brain imagined the rest of her sentence. He would ask her about it again, but he had more pressing concerns.

“What do you need, Maomao?” She finished the glass and Jinshi promptly refilled it, watching as she choked down the second glass just as quickly. “The physician that treated you didn’t know anything about poisons.”

“I’ll be okay in a few days.” Her voice was less raspy, her eyes a little more clear as she met Jinshi’s. “It’s just…a nerve paralytic…” She reached a hand up to her hair with an annoyed expression, but Jinshi met it halfway and held it in his hand.

“I’ll do it.” He could see Maomao attempting to glare at him, but her face wouldn’t cooperate with the movement. He adjusted her enough that he could slip onto the bed behind her, her small body in between his legs so that he could use both of his hands.

“Inappropriate…” Maomao mumbled, drawing a blush from Jinshi that she couldn’t see, but she made no arguments as he began to gently untangle her hair.

For a while there was silence, Jinshi moved slower than he needed to if only to prolong their closeness - scared that anything he said might shatter the moment. Bit by bit he let her hair down, placing the ornaments and pins on the bed beside them as he went. He had never brushed anyone’s hair before, but suddenly he could see himself doing this every night for Maomao.

“Jinshi…” He hummed in acknowledgement, running his fingers through her hair uncaring as the dye left trails of black on his skin. “The men…I didn’t-”

“Don’t think about it.” He reached his hand around, presenting her with the hair pin he had given her. “Don’t think about anything but getting better for now.”

She made a noise, somewhere between a snort and a grunt as her hand touched his. Her fingers wrapped gently around the pin, but she didn’t pull her hand back.

“Does your shoulder hurt?” He wished he had more knowledge around this sort of thing, so he made a mental note to ask her about it when they returned to the palace.
“I can’t feel anything.” She leaned back against him, resting her head on his chest. With nowhere else to put his arms Jinshi wrapped them lightly around Maomao’s body. He waited a moment, like a child caught testing his boundaries and waiting to be scolded, but Maomao seemed to deflate, her body relaxing against him.

“You can’t sleep…in my bed, Jinshi.” Her voice was heavy with exhaustion, her body already relaxing as the drug dragged her back into unconsciousness. Jinshi almost laughed at the ridiculousness of Maomao’s concern for propriety.

“We’re in a brothel, Maomao. Both of us are covered in blood,dirt and your hair dye. Shut up.” He pulled her slightly closer before gently laying her down beside him. Careful of her shoulder, he lay down as close to her as he could manage.

She turned her head to face him, looking at him so closely that Jinshi couldn’t help the flush that rose to his face. Swallowing his nerves, he reached a hand out to cup her face gently.

“Maomao…what you said before - about l-love…” He hated the way he stuttered, but he wasn’t quite sure how to ask about what she had said. The way she hadn’t denied being in love, the way she had squeezed his hand as she seemed to admit to it. “Did you mean it?”

She looked at him for a moment, her eyes squinting as if she was trying to glare at him she closed them completely. Her hand came up, pulling his hand from her face as she turned and pressed her lips lightly to his palm.

Maomao said nothing as she drifted to sleep, and Jinshi couldn’t speak around his heart which was beating so hard that he feared it might be audible if he opened his mouth. Instead he watched Maomao’s breathing even out, until he matched hers and he joined her in sleep.

–

Maomao slept for most of their remaining time at the brothel, much to Jinshi’s dismay. Other than the first night he never got a moment alone with her, but everytime she woke up she seemed a little more coherent than the time before.

The problem was that he was now competing with Faran to take care of her.

“She needs her hair washed.” Faran had her arms out to Maomao who was sitting on the edge of her bed, swaying lightly with the effort to keep herself upright. Meng and Faran had come as soon as they realized Maomao had woken, much to Jinshi’s annoyance.

“I can do it.”

“The baths here are for the courtesans.” All the girls had looked at him then, and Jinshi was forced to sit down and let Faran take Maomao to the bathhouse.

“Stop hovering and just tell her how you feel.” Meng was busying herself with taking the sheets from Maomao’s bed, but she side eyed Jinshi with a knowing look when she thought he wasn’t looking. “It’ll save you both this weird dance you seem to be doing.”

“It’s complicated.”

“It really isn’t that complicated, you’re both just stubborn and dense.” Meng shot him a look that he would absolutely believe she had picked up from Maomao. A glare that told him she thought he was acting like an idiot.

Jinshi ignored her, his eyes glued to the door as he waited for Maomao to come back. Meng stepped in front of the door, sheets bundled in her hands as she waited for him to meet her eyes before speaking.

“Maomao talked about you like you were dirt, but you could tell by the look in her eyes that she actually cared about you. She followed you,, put herself in harm’s way for you. I may not know what it's like to be a rich merchant’s son, but I do know that Maomao wasn’t about to let anything keep her from you. You shouldn’t either.”

Meng left before he could respond, leaving Jinshi to sit in her words while he waited for Maomao to return.

Chapter Text

Despite Meng’s encouragement, Jinshi failed to get a moment alone with Maomao for the rest of their time there.

Every moment Maomao was awake, Faran or Meng were there to tend to her in all the ways Jinshi secretly wanted to. They brushed her hair, changed her bandages, brought her food - all while Jinshi lingered on the edge with his barely concealed annoyance.

For her part, Maomao rarely met his eyes. Even when he made it very obvious he was attempting to catch her gaze, she would very stubbornly keep her eyes lowered when looking in his direction.

Not that he knew what he would say to her, when they finally got a moment alone, he hadn’t thought it through that far - but her reluctance to even look at him did nothing to soothe his nerves.

At night Maomao would be so exhausted from her body fighting off the poison that she would be fast asleep before Meng and Faran could even leave the room, and Jinshi would watch Maomao’s breathing until his own evened out and he fell asleep in the chair beside her bed.

So when he awoke to find Maomao’s bed empty, and her blanket draped over his shoulders, Jinshi couldn’t help the immediate lurch in his stomach. He stood abruptly, bursting out of the room and awkwardly standing in the hallway as he realized he was too unfamiliar with the brothel outside of Maomao’s room to even know where to begin to look.

“She’s over here.” A voice floated to him, turning he saw Meng and Faran lingering at the end of the hallway. They motioned for him to be quiet as they waved him to follow.

“Her father came and they’ve been yelling at each other for the past hour.” Meng whispered as he got closer, though he didn’t need her to tell him that much. He could already hear Lakan’s voice from the room below them. He couldn’t make out the words, but it was clear he wasn’t happy.

“You should have gotten me.” Jinshi scolded them, standing with a scowl on his face. The girls looked at him with confusion.

“He asked for her, why would we get you?” Jinshi glared at them, opening his mouth and closing it again.

Of course they wouldn’t have known that Maomao hated Lakan, nor would they know that Jinshi acted as a buffer between the two of them back at the palace. Maomao was in his employ, which meant nobody got to yell at her except for him - which he had yet to do.

And yet she had gone to Lakan, leaving him to sleep while she got yelled at for what Jinshi could only imagine was her coming to save him.

Jinshi descended the stairs, ignoring the women’s protests as he adjusted his robes and hair to look somewhat presentable. He hadn’t heard Maomao’s voice, but the pauses in Lakan’s told him that there was a conversation happening. Even as he drew closer to the door and could begin to make out words, he couldn’t hear her. He could only hear what sounded like Lakan wailing.

The two men guarding the door looked at him with wide eyes, before they moved out of his way to let him through. Jinshi opened the door with his face already composed.

Just to meet two glares inside.

Maomao and Lakan were standing on opposite sides of the room, the table and chairs in the middle serving as a physical barrier between them. The tension in the room was palpable, and it very much looked like Maomao was ready to bolt the second she had a chance.

He met her eyes for a moment and had to fight back the smile that rose in him as he watched Maomao visibly relax a little in his presence. When he turned and looked at Lakan, there was nothing but disgust and anger for him.

“Master Jinshi.” Maomao greeted him, raising her arms to bow to him but wincing when it pulled at her injury. Jinshi raised his hand to stop her, a frown already on his face, disappointed in her formal address.

“You shouldn’t be up and moving around, Maomao.” She threw him a slight glare, but there was a note of relief in her eyes. “Faran is down the hall, have her wash and change your bandage.”

Maomao bowed slightly, purposely ignoring Lakan as she moved towards Jinshi.

“I’m not done speaking with my daughter, Master Jinshi.” His words were polite but Lakan looked as if he would personally punch Jinshi in the face if there weren’t any witnesses.

“There isn’t anything more to discuss.” Maomao spat back, her eyes still down as she moved towards the door. She ignored the remainder of Lakan’s arguments, and a few moments later it was just the two men left in the room.

For a moment, they just stood there looking at each other while Jinshi tried to think of what to start the conversation with. There were a lot of things he wanted to discuss with Lakan, but he had imagined they would sit down and have a somewhat civil conversation. Jinshi sighed, moving into the room to sit in one of the seats, deciding it was best to start on a good foot.

“I understand I owe you my thanks.” Lakan glared at him, staring at the door as if unsure if he even wanted to be there before he deflated. Jinshi watched the man take off his glasses and rub the bridge of his nose as he dropped himself into the other seat.

“Thanking me implies I did something for you. I came for my daughter, but if she had done as we agreed she wouldn’t be here at all.”

Lakan explained the terms of their agreement; that he got Maomao out of the palace with the understanding that she wouldn’t go anywhere without informing Lakan. How after days of not hearing from here, the Madam of the Verdigris sent him a letter from Maomao that told him - quite bluntly - where she might be found if she was still alive.

Jinshi felt an uncommon sympathy for Lakan; despite the man’s eccentric and annoying demeanor most of the time, Jinshi couldn’t deny that he cared for Maomao. If he had received a letter like that, Jinshi wouldn’t have been nearly as composed as Lakan appeared to be.

“Maomao doesn’t always think things through-”

“She does, and that’s the problem.” Lakan cut him off, resuming his glare at Jinshi. “Maomao has always been a careful child, calculating risks before she takes them. She had never been the type to do something reckless without thinking. Until now. Until you. She had nearly died twice for you, just killed a man for you.”

Jinshi forced himself to meet Lakan’s eyes through his rant, forcing his face to remain neutral. For the first time since he had to deal with Lakan, Jinshi was acutely aware of the fact that the man across from him was Maomao’s birth father. Despite Maomao’s denial, this was the man that helped give her life - and Jinshi had been directly responsible for nearly getting her killed.

Lakan was glaring at him, clearly waiting for some sort of explanation or rebuttal.

“I’m going to marry Maomao.” Was what came out instead, stunning both men into silence.

Jinshi had just been shocked he had blurted it out - he had been intending to inform Lakan of his intentions as a matter of formal courtesy, but now was hardly the time to do it. In his mind he has intended to inform Lakan after requesting permission from Luomen and asking Maomao.

Instead he sat and watched Lakan’s face work through every emotion imaginable, his eyes bulging out of his head as he gripped the arms of the chair he sat in.

“I won’t agree to you making her a consort-”

“Not a consort.” Jinshi corrected, his own anger rising slowly. “Wife. I don’t intend to take anyone else.” There was no point in pretending with Lakan, the man was smart enough to suspect who Jinshi really was even if he had no proof.

“If you’re hoping for my permission you can forget it.”

“I’m not asking for your permission, nor do I need it. I’m informing you out of respect as her birth father.”

They both fell silent, holding each other's eyes as if daring the other to look away first. After what felt like a lifetime, Lakan leaned back in his seat letting his head fall back as he stared at the ceiling. Jinshi felt the tension leave the room as if cut with a knife, his own body relaxing slightly.

“You better be serious about her - if you ask and then take it back-”

“I am serious. I won’t have anyone else.” Lakan only grunted, pinching the bridge of his nose again. Jinshi desperately wanted to know what they had argued about, but sensing that this was the end of Lakan’s willingness to speak with him he stood instead. “I will make sure she’s ready to leave.”

He turned without waiting for an answer, exhaustion creeping in on him as he opened the door.

“Master Jinshi.” Maomao was standing outside the door, she didn’t look as though she had changed but her face was devoid of any emotion that would tell him she had been eavesdropping. Still, Jinshi’s heart beat hard in his chest at the thought of Maomao overhearing his declaration to Lakan.

“What is it?”

She looked at him, and for a moment he could see something change in her eyes - as if they softened just for him for a brief moment - before she looked at the door behind him and glared as if she could see Lakan through the wall.

“I don’t want to ride with that man, no matter what he says.”

Jinshi almost burst out laughing, the request was so abnormally childish coming from Maomao. He did let himself smile at her, placing a hand on her shoulder that she didn't push off as he turned to lead her back to her room to gather her things.

–

After tearful goodbyes with Meng and Faran, they were loaded into carriages along with Lakan and his men. A separate carriage had already been brought for Jinshi, and with a smug smile Jinshi had ushered Maomao into it and closed the door so it was just the two of them.

Jinshi had been in a carriage with Maomao once before, when he had purchased her from the Verdigris and she had come home with him dressed like one of the princesses. He had been barely able to look at her without blushing that time, and yet this time felt more intimate.

The carriage ride was quiet between them, but Jinshi was acutely aware of every movement she made. Every time the carriage bounced over rough ground, Maomao winced a bit as if the movement hurt her. Jinshi was considering how to ask her if she would consider lying on his lap to cushion her shoulder when she spoke.

“Did Shuai hurt you?” It was quiet, and she was stubbornly looking out the carriage window despite it being too dark to see anything outside. “Other than the cut on your neck, I mean.”

Jinshi touched the wound reflexively; he had cleaned and bandaged it while Maomao slept, but there hadn’t been a change of men’s clothes as the brothel and Jinshi didn’t want to impose on the Madam any further by requesting she purchase some for him. The blood had mostly dried and flaked off, but there was still an obvious stain.

“No, he didn’t.” He watched her from the corner of her eyes, wishing he could see her face to understand what she was thinking. “None of this was your fault, Maomao.”

She said nothing in return, but some tension left her shoulders and soon she leaned more heavily against the carriage door as she began to fall asleep. Jinshi reached for her, gently pulling her towards him until she was laying on his lap. Whatever paralytic she had been given had already begun to wear off, but she still slept heavily and long.

Other than a few moments on the trip back, Maomao slept for most of the ride. When they arrived at the Verdigris she was still sleeping on his lap when Lakan opened the door. He looked at the scene before him before tossing Jinshi a jealous glare and turning to leave.

Gingerly Jinshi lifted Maomao, carrying her in his arms as he stepped carefully out of the carriage towards the brothel.

“I would have preferred to have her back at the inner palace.” At my place he added mentally, though by the glare Lakan threw him he knew the man understood what he meant.

“I would have her closer if I could, but the Emperor knows of her absence and isn’t too pleased. It’s better for her to stay here until you can speak with him.”

He hadn’t considered the fact that Maomao might have been implicated in his disappearance, he held the girl tighter to him as they entered the Verdigris through a back entrance.

The Madam met them in the back room, her eyes lingering on Maomao’s sleeping form as if making sure she was breathing before she turned her glare on Lakan and Jinshi.

“Luomen isn’t here, but I can send a girl to fetch him.”

“Her injuries have already been tended to.” Jinshi didn’t want Luomen to be woken in the middle of the night thinking that his adoptive daughter needed medical attention. But the Madam just waved her hand at him as if to dismiss his words.

“I’ll send a girl anyway, to let him know she’s alive.” She turned, not waiting to see if they followed as she led them through the back halls and back outside to the rear gardens.

Tucked into the back of the area was a small room, as they approached a somber air seemed to fall over the group. Jinshi walked a little slower, taking in the well kept garden and flowers that spread around the building. It was quiet and peaceful, and very out of place in a brothel.

Inside it was small, a bed with a divider to keep it semi private and a table and chair just inside the door. Jinshi gently placed Maomao in the bed, pulling the blankets up to cover her so she’d be comfortable. Then, uncaring that there were witnesses, he leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. Letting his hand linger against her cheek before he turned.

“I will ensure you’re compensated for any cost.” The Madam smiled, giving him a slightly mocking bow while Lakan just continued to glare. “I will be back tomorrow as soon as I am able. If Luomen does come by, please ask him to wait for me.”

He left the two of them at the doors of the sick room, returning to the carriage as he mentally prepared for the hard night he was sure to have.

Chapter Text

Maomao’s sleeps had felt more like being knocked unconscious rather than resting these past few days, and waking up that morning wasn’t any different. Fighting through the fog in her brain she struggled to place herself in the world. She had remembered entering the carriage with Jinshi, vaguely remembering waking up a few times while in his lap, but she didn’t remember being moved to a bed.

She looked around, careful to move her shoulder as little as possible. When she recognized the room she closed her eyes again, sighing as she remembered her own words.

I am not my mother.

And yet here she was, in her mother’s sick room.

She slowly sat up, reaching under her robes to untie Jinshi’s hair pin from where she had kept it on the ride back. Placing it on the bedside table, she was about to get up and go see if she could sneak some food when the door opened.

“You’re up earlier than expected.” The Madam held a pitcher of water, motioning with her other hand for Maomao to stay in bed as she brought it over. “Stay, girl. We need to have a chat.”

Maomao nearly rolled her eyes; everyone seemed to want to yell at her as soon as she woke up. The last morning at the other brothel Maomao had woken to find Jinshi sleeping with his hand across her stomach from his place in the chair beside her bed. His face had looked so peaceful, that she had decided to selfishly let him sleep so she could look at him and finally sort her feelings into words that she could express to him.

He had asked her before, if she had meant what she had said to Shuai about love. Maomao had never been good at expressing her needs or feelings into words, so used to shoving them far down where they couldn’t be seen that most of the time her own feelings were a mystery to even herself. So she had kissed his hand, hoping that he would understand but she hadn’t had a good moment to ask him if he did.

Then Meng had poked her head in the room, saying that Lakan was there and demanding to see her. She had known he would be upset, so she slipped out of the room without waking Jinshi and went to see him herself.

She entered the room and immediately had to move, Lakan had launched himself from the couch where he had been sitting to try and grab her in a hug. His face was contorted between tearful relief and anger so fast that Maomao felt her own reactions becoming just as confused.

“We had an agreement that you wouldn’t do anything without my approval.” Lakan nearly sobbed, his arms reaching for her again as she shuddered and moved to put the couch between them.

“There wasn’t time for your approval. It made more sense for me to go in alone and attract less attention. I left you a note.”

“A delayed note. You could have been dead before I even got it.” Maomao shrugged, regretting the movement immediately. With the paralytic wearing off she could now feel the pain of her injury and she couldn’t hold back the wince. Lakan noticed, immediately taking a step towards her. “You’re injured.”

“I’m fine.” It did nothing to deter him, and they did a few laps around the room as they argued.

“Your actions were needlessly reckless, Maomao. Do you have any idea what could have happened to you? The men we found there, the bodies”

“Of course I did. I thought it through enough to realize that the course of action I took had the highest chance of Jinshi’s return.” Too late she had realized her casual address of Jinshi, watching as Lakan’s face drained of color as if she had just admitted to some heinous crime.

Which she supposed she did in his eyes.

As much as she despised Lakan, she couldn’t deny that she was more like him than she would admit. Their shared blood meant nothing to her, but their shared quirks meant that if there was anyone in the world that understood her it would be him.

“Maomao…” Lakan looked like he was on the verge of tears and Maomao could only roll her eyes as he whined. “Not him, Maomao. Anyone but him.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Maomao…”

“Will you shut up?”

They had continued to argue, Maomao heavily debating making a break for the door to try and get out when Jinshi had entered.

Now she sat silently waiting for the scolding from the Madam, watching nervously as she poured some water in a glass and handed it to Maomao.

“That man, your Master Jinshi, is he good to you?”

Maomao choked on the water, spitting it out as she coughed and choked air back into her lungs. The Madam watched her with an unamused expression, but waited for her to get herself back under control.

“What kind of question is that?” The Madam pulled up a chair, lighting her pipe despite being in the room.

“The type that requires an answer.”

Maomao looked at her in disbelief, but seeing that she wasn’t going to budge, Maomao eventually answered.

“He treats me just fine.” She didn’t really know what to compare him to, she had never worked directly under anyone other than Lady Gyokuyou or Luomen. Compared to either of them he would fall short simply because he refused to let her consume poisons. “He can be annoying and he doesn’t let me conduct my experiments but he’s not unfair and he respects my opinion on matters enough to ask for it.”

“Lakan speaks poorly of him, but never has any actual complaints against him.”

“Since when do you care what he thinks anyway?” The Madam grunted out a laugh, taking a few puffs from her pipe as Maomao attempted to drink her water again.

“When I figured out Fengxian’s plan with him, I sat with her in here just like this.” Maomao’s stomach curdled, holding the water in both hands she focused on the ripples in the water as the Madam spoke. “She was more stubborn than usual, but I offered her what I could. I watched her waste away in here day after day, and it was all her choice. But don’t believe I didn’t spend her entire pregnancy with you yelling at her to change her mind.”

Maomao had heard about it from the other courtesan’s growing up. The Madam had offered herbs to end the pregnancy, to save her reputation as a courtesan so that she could eventually be bought out by another man.

Maomao shot the Madam a look.

“I’m not pregnant, you old granny.”

“I ain’t talking about that.” She sighed, leaning back in her chair. “Marrying a court man is the same as putting yourself in a cage. The richer the nobleman, the nicer the cage - but a cage is still a cage.”

“I’m not marrying anyone, either.”

They looked at each other, and there was a knowing look in the older woman’s eyes that made Maomao’s whole mind spin.

“You’re always trying to get the courtesans here to get bought out by noblemen.”

“They’re used to cages. I’m just moving them to a nicer one.”

“I grew up here too.”

“Not really. You had Luomen, and he let you live like a child should live. You were never put into a cage the way you would have been if you had gone with Lakan or become a courtesan.”

Maomao shuddered thinking about growing up under the man; there was no doubt she would have already been married off to some general or military man strategically. Growing up in the courts would have killed her inside.

But she hadn’t, and she wasn’t marrying anyone. Maomao tried to imagine it, but she just couldn’t - even if she were to assume Jinshi really was just a eunuch she was still far too below his station to even consider something like that. That was assuming he wanted to marry her, or that she wanted to marry him.

Her internal panic must have shown on her face, the Madam leaned forward and lowered her voice as if worried she would be overheard.

“I have connections in a few cities, to a few brothels that would take you if I sent you with a letter. I can get you far enough away that he’ll be hard pressed to find you.”

“I don’t want to leave Master Jinshi.” Maomao put the glass on the bedside table, annoyed that after everything she had just done to try and get him back the Madam would even consider sending her away from him. “I’m hardly about to be forced into a marriage.” She stood, moving to leave the sick house.

“He told Lakan.” The Madam called over her shoulder, not even bothering to wait to see if Maomao stuck around. “Told the man he wasn’t asking permission, just letting him know. Doesn’t seem like the type that’s used to being told no.”

The words pinned her to the floor, her feet unable to move. Lakan must have said something to Jinshi after she left the room, or else why would he bring up marriage? Had Jinshi understood her feelings and taken it a step too far?

“He’ll be returning tonight to talk to Luomen, I’m assuming to say the same thing. My offer stands until then; I can’t very well help a nobleman’s wife run away without risking my neck but until he asks you you’re still just Maomao and I can send you wherever.”

Maomao managed to get her feet to move, walking without thinking of where she was going until she found herself in the bathhouse. Numbly she stripped her robes, carefully unbandaged her shoulder before she lowered herself into the water and tried to sort out her jumbled thoughts.

Chapter Text

“You’ve barely slept, Master Jinshi.” Gaoshun reminded him for the seventh time as they loaded into the carriage. Jinshi had told the driver where to take them, ignoring the surprised look on the man’s face as he shut the door and settled in the back for the ride.

“Just a little longer.” Jinshi had in fact not slept at all, but he wasn’t willing to admit that to the man for fear that he would insist upon delaying his visit to Maomao for another day.

Jinshi had returned to the palace, barely having time to clean himself up and change out of the bloodied and ripped robes he had been wearing before he had been summoned to the Emperor. He had given a full account of what had happened, only adding a few embellishments to downplay Maomao’s potential fault in the incident while emphasizing that she had saved his life at the risk of her own. It had taken a lot of arguing and yelling to convince him that Maomao should not be punished for failing to report the poisoning or for leaving her station without proper leave.

He had originally intended to argue for Maomao’s return to her station in his employ and broach the topic of marriage with the emperor, but one look from Lady Gyokuyou who had been present and trying to mediate told him that it was better to tackle one issue at a time. So he swallowed his nerves, bowed and left with the victory of knowing Maomao was safe from punishment.

Upon his return to his quarters, he had been bombarded by Gaoshun and Suiren, insisting he bathe properly and eat a full meal. They had pestered him with questions about Maomao, about how she was doing and he nearly broke and told them both then - but he wanted to follow due process with this. When they insisted he sleep for a few hours before going to see Maomao, Jinshi just lay in his bed staring at the ceiling and wondering how Maomao would react.

He wasn’t even sure of her feelings towards him, though he knew there had to be something there. Affection, even towards friends or family, with Maomao was so rare to see that Jinshi couldn’t be sure that a kiss on his hand was a sign of something more. Having grown up surrounded by courtesans, there was always the possibility that it meant nothing to her. Even her being willing to risk her life for him could simply be attributed to her deep sense of duty that she seemed to carry.

Gaoshun had sighed when Jinshi had come out of his room fully dressed and demanding a carriage, but the man had done as he asked with minimal complaint but many lingering looks.

“You can’t visit the town brothel every day, Master Jinshi.”

“I know.” Jinshi leaned his head against the side of the carriage, peering out of the window at the streets as they passed. “I just need to explain what’s happening so she knows.” Of course Jinshi could have just sent a letter if that’s all it was, but he needed to talk to her. Really talk to her about everything that had happened.

He also hadn’t told Gaoshun about wanting to marry her yet.

Not because he feared the man’s reaction - if anything Gaoshun was the only person he could count on to fully support him regardless of how bad of an idea it would be. The closest thing he had ever had to a true friend, even if sometimes he was sure Gaoshun regretted his job.

Arriving at the brothel, Jinshi’s nerves forced him out of the carriage and around to the back entrance without ever checking to see if Gaoshun could keep up. He didn’t bother to see if anyone found it odd, he merely followed his feet to the beat of his erratic heartbeat. The closer he got to the sick room, the harder it beat until Jinshi was nearly gasping to breath around it.

“Master Jinshi?” Jinshi knocked on the door, ignoring his attendant. After no answer he knocked again, hesitating a moment before he opened his head and looked inside.

“Maomao?”

The room was empty and untouched, looking as though nobody had slept there. The bed had been made and no clothing or shoes lay around the room. He entered, peering around the divider as if he would find Maomao curled up in the corner but instead all he saw was the hairpin he had given her delicately lying on the bed stand as if waiting for him to find it.

“She’s not here.” Jinshi spun to find the Madam standing in the doorway, her eyes hard as she looked over Jinshi as if assessing him for the first time. Jinshi tried to calm his nerves, giving her a smile that he was sure looked as uncertain as he felt.

“Is she in the main house? I didn’t want to disturb your patrons.”

“I don’t know where she is.” She said it so casually, but her eyes were sharp as if assessing his reaction. As if her words were meant to mean more.

“Where is Maomao?” The Madam just shrugged, leaning against the doorway.

“Wherever she went she did so on her own two feet.”

His whole world tilted for a second, imagining that he had misunderstood Maomao’s feelings so badly that she felt no other option than to run from him. Had Lakan told the woman about his plans and she snuck Maomao out after he left? Had Maomao overheard his conversation with Lakan?

He imagine Maomao’s face so full of disgust at the idea of marrying him that she had chosen to runaway in the dead of night rather than even hear him propose it. It was as if his hold world was shattering and Jinshi could only blankly stare at the woman as he tried and failed to get himself back under control.

“Master Jinshi?”

The Madam’s face scrunched up in annoyance, making a noise of disgust before she moved out of the doorway. Jinshi nearly crumpled with relief at the sight of a confused Maomao standing outside the doorway, her hair wet and dripping onto her robes as she held a towel in her hands. She took one look at Jinshi then turned to glare at the old woman.

“What are you telling people, granny?” The Madam just shrugged and left, saying something too low for Jinshi to hear as she passed. Maomao watched her go with a conflicted look on her face before turning back to them. “I was told you would be coming by tonight. I was just in the bathhouse.”

“Xiaomao.” Gaoshun stepped in front of her, placing a hand on her shoulder while giving her a fatherly smile. “I’m glad to see you’re okay.”

Maomao smiled at him, opening her mouth to respond but Jinshi cut her off.

“Gaoshun, could you give us some privacy.” Jinshi still felt like his heart was going to rip itself from his chest at any moment. It took too much effort to act normal in front of Gaoshun when he was fighting back the urge to snatch Maomao into his arms and lock them both in the sick room forever.

Gaoshun exchanged a look with Maomao that he couldn’t read but left without argument, closing the door behind him and leaving Maomao and Jinshi alone.

They stared at each other for a moment.

“I didn’t think you were coming until later or I would have waited to bathe.” She said as a way of explanation, her voice slightly apologetic.

“She made it sound like she had taken you somewhere.” He half expected her to laugh or get angry at the assumption, but she just shrugged.

“She did offer.”

Jinshi watched as Maomao walked past him, opening a wardrobe at the end of the bed as she pulled out bandages that were seemingly kept there. Her voice was carefully neutral, and though Maomao was normally very good at keeping her emotions hidden, Jinshi knew her well enough to hear the restraint in her voice.

“She offered to take you somewhere?” Jinshi tried and failed to match her tone, even he could hear the heartbreak in his words.

“Mmm.” Maomao wouldn’t look at him as she rolled out the bandages, cutting it somewhere along the roll before putting the rest of it back. He waited for her to say more, but she remained silent as she worked.

“...What did you say?”

Maomao did look at him then. Her gaze met his over her shoulder and he didn’t miss the insulted look in her eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere, Master Jinshi.” She turned back, lowering the robe off of her shoulder to expose the naked skin of her back and shoulder. Jinshi found himself staring at her for a moment before his senses came back to him and he turned away, looking at the door as his face heated up. There was a pause, as if she was making sure he wasn’t looking before she said, “But neither am I marrying you.”

Shock made him turn back to her, opening his mouth to argue with her but her state of undress caused him to close his eyes and turn back to the door. She had removed her top robe so that her back was completely exposed to him and he couldn’t help but think it had been intentional.

“You overheard.” Jinshi found himself fidgeting with the trim of his sleeves, for all the times Maomao had called him childish this was the first time he really did feel like a child.

“Lakan told granny. She offered to help me leave town before you came to ask me.” Jinshi hated how calm her voice was, not even a wavering in her tone to tell him what she was thinking. “I told her I wouldn’t leave, but I cannot agree to a marriage with you.”

This was not how Jinshi imagined this conversation would go. He had of course expected Maomao to deny him, but he imagined a flustered and angry Maomao throwing things at him while telling him how much of an idiot he was to suggest it.

This calm, composed Maomao who was rejecting him before he could even tell her how much he cared for her cut him deeply.

“The emperor has pardoned you.” Jinshi found himself saying, a childish anger borne from his hurt taking over. “You won’t be punished, but your position within the rear palace has been terminated.”

“I see.”

Still no reaction, her calm voice sounded as though they were back in his office discussing her tasks for the day. Jinshi’s hands tightened into fists, he wanted something from her - anything. He looked back over his shoulder at her, seeing her pale skin as if she had just been standing there in a state of undress to prevent herself from having to look at him while she trampled on his heart.

“Put your robes back on so we can have a discussion, Maomao.” There was no leashing the anger in his voice.

“We’ve discussed it already, Master Jinshi.”

“A proper discussion.” Jinshi spat, his emotions starting to boil over. He would turn and speak with her regardless of her state of dress soon - and it wouldn’t go over any better than any of the conversation had so far.

Maomao made a sound that sounded somewhere between a sob and a laugh.

“Nothing about this is proper.” There was a slight waver in her voice that he had never heard before. “You’re in a brothel. Proposing marriage to the daughter of a sick courtesan after she jeopardized your life . My state of undress is the most proper thing happening.”

“I haven’t proposed anything yet, though you’ve already decided on your answer before hearing what I have to say.” Jinshi was practically yelling, it was a wonder that Gaoshun hadn’t burst into the room to drag him away.

“You should go, Master Jinshi.”

Jinshi did turn then, his anger boiling over. Maomao still faced the bed, the bandage laid out along the bed untouched though both of her hands were on it as if she was just about to start wrapping her wound. Her head was tilted down, a slight tremor running shaking her shoulders as if she was cold despite the windows being shut.

“I am not leaving until you’ve heard me out.” He glared at the back of her head, keeping his eyes from roaming anywhere indecent despite the flush that came to his cheeks.

“Stop-” Her voice trembled, but Jinshi ignored her.

“If you’re going to reject me-”

“Master Jinshi!” Maomao’s voice raised, a tinge of panic in her voice as if she was scared of what he was about to say.

“-then at least do it after I’ve told you I’m in love with you!”

The words bounced off the walls, loud enough that he wouldn’t have been surprised if the courtesans in the main house had heard him - but he didn’t care. His heart was pounding in his throat and his hurt at being rejected unfairly forced the words out past it. His hands were shaking so he forced them to hold his robes in tight fights as he waited.

Chapter Text

Maomao had thought it through as logically as she could, forcing her emotions to the side as much as possible while she thought through every possible option soaking in the bathhouse.

She couldn’t marry Jinshi, but neither could she leave him.

Maomao understood her position in the world, an understanding that came from growing up without someone to coddle her or tend to her needs. A daughter of a courtesan marrying someone in the rear palace, someone as high ranking as Jinshi, would cause nothing but scandal and trouble for him. His actions when Maomao was poisoned told her that she could only be considered one thing to Jinshi - a weakness.

And yet the thought of Jinshi wanting to marry her, the imagining of him actually asking her, made her chest warm in a way she was unfamiliar with. It made her heart beat wildly and her hands sweaty to the point where if she had eaten something she would have assumed it had been poisoned. It was the pleasant sensation of her body reacting to something, without the risk of suffering damage from a poison and she wanted more of it.

She knew that if Jinshi pushed the matter, if he insisted to keep giving her this reaction she would cave - and one of them needed to be responsible and think about the consequences of his impulsiveness.

So she had forced his eyes away by undressing, knowing that he cared enough to not disgrace her in such a way even though she couldn’t care less if he saw what little of her there was to see. If she rejected him, made him think she didn’t care for him, she hoped his wounded ego would force him away.

But it had hurt. Her chest had ached unpleasantly as she told him she wouldn’t marry him. A shame she hadn’t known existed in her rising when she pointed out her place as a courtesan’s daughter. It was not something Maomao normally cared about, she could not change the circumstances of her birth and had seen it as an obstacle to anything that she wanted.

Until now.

“I am not leaving until you’ve heard me out.” Maomao could tell he had turned, acutely aware of every movement he made. He was angry with her, which wasn’t surprising, but his anger hadn’t caused him to leave. Why wasn’t he leaving?

“Stop-” She hated the tremble in her voice, the panic that was rising in her as she tried to recalculate her plan. She could yell and a swarm of courtesans would remove him from the sick room but it wouldn’t be fast enough to stop the words she dreaded from leaving his mouth.

“If you’re going to reject me-”

“Master Jinshi!” She was pleading, her heart pounding in her chest as the same warmth she had felt in the bath house trickled into her chest. Her face was hot, her eyes blurred as if sweat had gathered there.

“-then at least do it after I’ve told you I’m in love with you!”

Her heart gave a painful squeeze, Maomao shut her eyes against the feeling as if she could block out his words but it of course did nothing. Was this really love? This feeling like she was choking on her own pulse as her body burned hotter than any fever? The fear that she felt at the thought of someone finding out that her body reacted like this to Jinshi’s words?

Her desire for more?

She opened her mouth to tell him to leave again but the words wouldn’t come out, her eyes leaked against her will and Maomao tried her best to discreetly wipe the tears from her face. Her fingers were cold against her cheeks, her inhale shaky as she tried to compose herself.

“Maomao.” Jinshi took a step towards her, how she could tell she didn’t know. She was still naked from the waist up, her robe lay at her feet and she wondered if he would dare touch her in this state. A part of her wanted to know if it would help her symptoms or make them worse. “Say something, Maomao”

“I can’t.” She had tried to keep her voice even, wincing slightly when it came out strangled. He took another step closer, causing another tremor of anticipation to roll through her body.

“Why not?” Another step, another tremor. Jinshi’s voice had lost some of the anger but none of its steel.

She cursed him silently for being unable to think about the consequences of what he was asking. Cursed herself for being unable to see past them.

She tapped into the frustration, used it to chase away the warmth in her chest. Anger was a familiar emotion, anger was a poison that she had long built up an immunity for.

“Such a union would never be allowed.” She matched his steel with her own, though it was tempered by how badly she wished she didn’t have to be the voice of reason here. “Even if I continue to pretend that you aren’t of a higher station that you act, I cannot pretend to be any higher than I am.”

“I don’t care-”

“You should.” This time she cut him off; she wanted to turn and meet his eyes but she was too scared he would see how much it bothered her. “Even if I would be permitted to marry you, others would take issue with it. Opinion of you within the palace would drop, your job would become harder.” Maomao began rambling, no longer sure if she was trying to convince Jinshi or herself. “Not to mention your life has already been threatened a number of times-”

Fabric touched her shoulders, Maomao looked down to see Jinshi’s robe draped over her. She hadn’t heard Jinshi approach her, but she quickly pulled the robe tightly around her to cover her exposed skin. Slowly she peaked over her shoulder, seeing Jinshi standing behind her - his eyes averted and his inner robe slightly askew. His face was stern, and when he noticed her looking at him he turned back to meet her eyes.

His face changed then, and Maomao quickly realized what she must look like to him. Her face was still flushed and warm, her eyes still teary despite her attempts to clear it. Jinshi's eyes widened, his mouth opening as red dusted his cheeks. A hand reached for her, and Maomao tensed in a weird mixture of fear and anticipation as it paused mid air.

“Maomao…” Jinshi appeared to be struggling with something, though a look of understanding passed over his face.

That makes one of us Maomao thought, still unsure of her own reactions.

“Since when do you care what others think of you?”

“I don’t.” Maybe he didn’t understand? “It’s not me I’m worried about-” Maomao cut herself off, watching Jinshi smile in triumph as if he had just caught her in a trap.

“You’re worried about me.” Jinshi did touch her then, his hand grazing the side of her face ever so lightly. The contact jolted Maomao, she knocked his hand away with one of hers. Jinshi looked unbothered by the action, his anger completely gone as if it had never been there. “If I said I didn’t care what others thought, would you agree to marry me then?”

Maomao’s face grew hotter and she found it hard to keep eye contact with him. She tried to reach for anger again, glaring at his neck to avoid looking at his smug smile.

“Of course not.” His hand moved towards her face again, and Maomao ducked away from it. Jinshi moved to block her with his body. She backed up as he moved forward, her back hitting the cabinet as she clutched his robe closer to her body.

He towered over her, his hair falling on either side of her face as if to grant them privacy. Maomao could feel her heart pounding in her skull.

“Tell me you don’t want me.” Jinshi’s voice was low, full of teasing amusement. The blush on his face had increased and Maomao couldn’t help but marvel at how it made him look even more celestial. “Tell me you won’t marry me because you don’t care for me and I’ll never ask again.”

She glared at him, or tried to - she wasn’t sure how successful she could be with her face the color of the lipstick her sisters wore. The more she tried, the more smug Jinshi seemed to look. Maomao opened her mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. Jinshi took her silence well, his eyes drifting down her face to her lips.

Maomao panicked, freeing one of her hands to push against Jinshi’s chest. In her desperation two of her fingers slipped beneath his inner robe, touching his bare skin which burned just as hot as her face. But what caught Maomao more was the insistent knocking against the inside of his chest.

Jinshi leaned further down, ignoring her incoherent protests as she tried to push against his chest harder.

“Say it, Maomao.”

“You’re such a child!”

His nose brushed against hers lightly, his face so close to hers that she could feel both of their breaths mingling with each other. She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the pressure against her lips.

But nothing happened.

She opened her eyes, meeting Jinshi’s as he seemed to watch her closely. They stared at each other for a few moments, Maomao’s hand still on his chest while both of his rested on the wardrobe on either side of her head.

“Jinshi-”

His lips pushed against hers with enough force that her head was pushed back against the wardrobe but the pain of the contact was dwarfed by the explosion in Maomao’s chest.

It was as if the heat she had felt before had only been the smoke, warning her that there was a fire somewhere deeper inside her. Now that Jinshi was kissing her, now that his lips were melding into hers she could feel herself catching fire. She was so distracted by the foreign feeling that she hadn’t reacted to being kissed and soon Jinshi pulled back. He looked at her still open eyes, worry crossing his face as if suddenly concerned he had taken things too far.
“I-I’m sorry, I just-”

Maomao gathered his inner robes in her fist, pulling on them to bring him back to her lips - marveling at the immediate re ignition of the fire in her chest. She had never kissed anyone before, but her sister’s had described the art to her. Why had they never mentioned how hot her chest would get, or how her mind would buzz with incoherent thoughts?

After a few moments Jinshi seemed to recover, both of his hands coming to her face to hold her as he leaned into her. Each inch of contact against her skin was electric, and when Maomao needed to pull away to breath she found Jinshi panting hard alongside her.

Jinshi looked at her with a mixture of confusion and wonder and Maomao knew she needed to say something. She had gone from rejecting his marriage proposal to kissing him all without telling him how she felt.

“I don’t regret killing those men.” Maomao’s voice was breathy, her lips felt swollen and she had to resist the urge to touch them. Jinshi’s brows knitted in confusion but she didn’t let him speak. “Knowing that they might have hurt you, knowing that Shuai did hurt you - I only regret that I didn’t make it more painful.”

Jinshi’s confusion only seemed to intensify, looking at her like she might have hit her head harder than she thought.

“When I left you in the room with Lakan, I waited outside the door because if I heard him yelling at you I was going to barge in.” Maomao fought back her embarrassment - feelings were hard to get across for her, she couldn’t even be 100% sure she was in love with Jinshi. But he seemed to know he was in love with her, so all she could do was tell him what she knew and hope he could figure the rest out.

Jinshi’s confusion still lingered, but Maomao saw what she hoped was a dawning understanding come over him.

“I knew leaving the palace to go after you would get me in trouble, but I would have never forgiven myself if anything happened to you-”

Jinshi cut her off with another kiss, his hands forcing her head back so he could deepen the kiss until Maomao was left dizzy.

“If you had been taken, Maomao, I would have killed a hundred people to get you back.” He said it like a vow against her lips, his breath soaking into her skin. “I would break any rule, defy any order.” He punctuated his words with soft kisses against her skin, starting at her forehead and moving down her face. Each one scalded her skin.

Maomao found it easier to accept his words this way, when they weren’t vague terms like “love” or “affection”. Her heart hummed at his attempt to make her understand in a way that made sense to her, the heat in her chest filling her limbs until she was sure she had somehow caught a fever.

“Marry me, Maomao.” Jinshi whispered against her jaw, his hands snaking around her waist until he was holding her against him. She sighed, allowing herself to lean into him.

“Master Jinshi? Xiaomao?” Gaoshun’s voice called through the door, the slight hint of concern obvious to both of them. Jinshi held her tighter and Maomao could feel his glare against her neck.

Rolling her eyes she wiggled in his arms, pushing against him more earnestly as the heat slowly drained from her limbs leaving her feeling as if she had just gotten out of a hot spring.

“Jinshi, you can’t leave him standing out there.” She prodded him, pinching at his skin until he pulled back to pout at her. He looked at her as if to say he could and he would leave Gaoshun out there all night if he wanted to but still turned to open the door to speak with him, ignoring the fact that he was without his inner robes.

While they spoke, Maomao quickly grabbed her own robes and put them back on - she would wrap her shoulder later when she had a moment alone. By the time Jinshi returned to her side, she was dressed and her face composed - thought the heat still lingered in her chest.

“Luomen is here, he’s asked to see you.” Jinshi’s own cheeks remained pink, though his eyes were soft when he looked at her. She handed him his robes, as she reached to tie her hair up - wincing as the movement pulled on her stitches.

Hands batted hers away as Jinshi pulled at her hair in an attempt to do it for her. Maomao waited, letting him try for a few moments before she turned to throw him an impatient look over her shoulder.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Jinshi pouted but managed to get her hair up into a decent attempt at her usual style. She turned to leave but was stopped by Jinshi’s hand on her head.

“You forgot something.” He smiled at her, a genuine soft smile that stunned her for a moment as he slid the silver hairpin she had left on the table into her hair. He leaned down, placing a light kiss against her forehead before turning to leave ahead of her.

Chapter Text

The moment Maomao had pulled Jinshi back to her, her lips moving against his, Jinshi had felt every worry in the world melt away from him. How could anything matter when Maomao felt so soft and warm in his arms? How could he worry about anything in the world when he was kissing her?

She hadn’t agreed to marry him but Jinshi was learning that Maomao’s words were not her feelings. He would ask her again, as many times as it took for her to accept - he could have patience with this now that he understood Maomao’s reservations.

As they walked through the garden, Jinshi reached for her hand - the back of their fingers touching lightly at first and then more insistently as Jinshi wordlessly asked her permission. She looked up at him, throwing him a glare that only made him smile more but she didn’t pull her hand away as he moved to hold her hand.

Gaoshun watched it all happen from behind them, a small smile on his face as he pretended not to notice.

They were led to a tea room by a junior courtesan, inside Luomen and the Madam spoke quietly. Maomao pulled her hand from Jinshi’s as they entered, she didn’t look at him but he could see the tips of her ears turning a rosy pink with her embarrassment.

“Maomao, how is your injury?” Luomen smiled at her as the Madame let herself out of the room. Jinshi turned to Gaoshun, nodding to him to also wait outside.

“It’s not serious.” Luomen waved her over and Maomao seemed to reluctantly go to him. Jinshi averted his eyes politely as she lowered her robe enough for him to see it.

“The stitches are a little sloppy, but I suppose there would be a scar either way.”

The idea of Maomao carrying a permanent scar from saving him made Jinshi’s stomach drop. Not that it bothered him, she had many scars on her arm from her experiments she had said, but this would be a permanent reminder. He was lost in thought, not even realizing the pair were talking until he heard Shuai’s name.

“...incredibly reckless.” Luomen’s voice was still low, but it had taken on a scolding tone. Jinshi looked over to see Maomao’s head bent low as Luomen spoke. “You may have a tolerance, but even you are not immune to everything.”

“I know.”

It was a little disconcerting to see Maomao accepting the scolding with no arguments; he imagined Luomen might be the only person in the world that could speak to her like this without getting a glare from the girl.

“This is my fault as well.” Jinshi spoke up, moving to stand beside Maomao. “I made the decision that put myself in danger. You have my sincerest apologies for putting Maomao in danger.”

Jinshi bowed slightly, not missing Maomao’s incredulous look that was somewhere between a glare and disbelief. In truth, Jinshi had never bowed to anyone but the emperor before but considering he was about to ask for permission to marry Maomao he figured it was probably best to show how sincere he was.

“There’s no need for that.” Luomen waved Jinshi back, motioning for him to sit in the seat across from him. “I'm happy to know that Maomao has someone who looks out for her in the inner court.”

Jinshi sat, though he couldn’t tell if he felt settled or unsettled by Luomen’s easy going attitude. Despite his gentle smiles, Jinshi had the distinct impression that the man was more adept at hiding his true emotions as Maomao had been when he first met her. He could see where she learned it.

Maomao sat lightly on the opposite side of the couch that Jinshi sat on. He looked at her pointedly, enjoying the way her face tinted slightly as she moved barely closer to him.

“I was hoping to discuss a more important matter with you.” Jinshi hoped his voice was even enough. It didn’t matter whether Luomen agreed or not since he was not her birth father, but even Lakan could not oppose the marriage if Jinshi didn’t want him to. But Maomao respected her birth father, and Jinshi wanted her to know he would do this the right way.

“The Madam informed me.”

“Old hag…” Maomao grumbled, her fists clenched in her skirt giving away her nervousness despite the glare on her face.

An expectant silence fell over the room, each person waiting for someone else to broach the subject first. Jinshi glanced at Maomao, his eyes lingering on her hair where his pin held up a sloppily done hair bun.

“I’m going to marry Maomao.” Jinshi said it plainly, watching as Maomao spun her head to him with red cheeks and an embarrassed look on her face. Like the soft smile she had while lying unconscious on his lap, it was a look that he had never fully seen on her face before, but the vulnerableness of it made him smile at her before turning to Luomen. “Whether you grant your permission or not doesn’t change that, but she cares for you like a father. It would mean a lot if you would give me your blessing.”

Luomen held his gaze, but Jinshi could read nothing in it. His gentle smile remained on his face even as he looked at his adoptive daughter as she tried and failed to compose her face.

“Has Maomao agreed to the match?”

Both men turned to look at her. Maomao seemed unable to decide who or what to look at as her face seemed to get impossibly more red. Jinshi’s heart felt like it wasn’t beating, as if it was waiting for her answer to determine whether it would ever bother to beat again. Maomao caught his eye briefly, and he could see a slight sheen to them that made Jinshi reach a hand out to her that she promptly leaned away from.

“I told him no…” Jinshi’s heart squeezed painfully, his hand still outstretched to her despite her obvious avoidance of it. “...but I didn’t mean no like that.”

Luomen seemed to understand his adoptive daughter’s meaning, his smile somehow looked more genuine when he looked back at Jinshi.

“If Maomao wants to marry you, then you have my blessing. I hope you will continue to take good care of her for me.”

Jinshi couldn’t help the smile on his face, his hand reaching over to grabbed Maomao’s despite her protests.

Their conversation returned to the treatment of Maomao’s wound, Jinshi kept his hand on Maomao’s as he paid careful attention to the instructions Luomen was giving her. Luomen then offered to check Jinshi’s own wound, which he allowed out of respect for his expertise more than anything. While he was being examined, Maomao turned her hand to hold his - giving a light squeeze that he might have missed if he wasn’t acutely aware of every inch of her skin against his own.

After a little while Luomen excused himself, claiming a need to visit a patient before it got dark. Jinshi and Maomao stood as he left, but when the door closed behind him Jinshi reached for Maomao and pulled her into his lap.

“H-hey! Let me go.” Maomao struggled against his hold, but Jinshi’s arms just tightened around her waist as he buried his head in the crook of her neck. “You know I didn’t agree to marry you.”

“You didn’t disagree.”

“I’m pretty sure I did.”

“You haven’t said you don't care about me.” Jinshi reminded her, which seemed to leave her at a loss for words. Jinshi tugged on her hair teasingly, watching with a mixture of joy and fascination as Maomao’s blush only continued to grow.

He loved Maomao no matter what, but he had to admit he loved this side of her the most.

Gaoshun knocked on the door, and Jinshi waited for Maomao to scramble off of him before he called for the man to enter.

“Master Jinshi, we really should be returning to the palace soon.” Jinshi pouted at the man, but his face did not change. Jinshi needed to meet with the Emperor again as well as several officials in charge of the inner palace workers to try and figure out how Shuai had gotten in. It would be a long evening which would only be made worse by knowing that Maomao couldn’t return with him yet.

“Give me five minutes.” Gaoshun nodded before turning and closing the door once again.

Jinshi found his earlier happiness melting away, reminded of his duties and what awaited him back at the palace. It could be weeks before he found the Emperor in an agreeable enough mood to broach the topic of Maomao’s return let alone bring up the prospect of their marriage. It would go a lot smoother if Lakan appeared to be on his side for the matter, but after he tried to get the Madam to hide Maomao away from him he wasn’t even sure he could face the man without wanting to strangle him.

“Jinshi?” Maomao’s voice reached him, and he realized he had just been glaring at the door. When he turned to look at her, she had lost most of her flush and seemed to also have been dragged back to reality. “You really shouldn’t neglect your work to visit a brothel, it won’t reflect well on your station.”

“I’m sorry, Maomao.” He held out a hand to her, a question in his eyes that she answered when she placed her hand in his with a slight hesitance. “I can’t take you back with me just yet, would you mind waiting for me?” Maomao snorted.

“I already said I wasn’t going anywhere.” She looked down at their hands, clearly trying to put something into words. Jinshi waited patiently, uncaring of the people waiting for his return. “I… don’t want to cause you trouble. Please don’t put yourself in a hard position on my behalf.”

Jinshi brought a hand to her face, pulling on her other hand until Maomao was held against him. His thumb brushed her cheek lightly, his mind still reeling at the fact that she wasn’t batting him away or yelling at him for touching her so casually. Though she glared at him, it was half hearted and diminished by the fact that she was leaning into his hand so slightly that he wasn’t even sure she knew she was doing it.

“I’ll visit you as often as I can.” He leaned down, pausing briefly before kissing her to wait for her agreement. He felt the moment she caved, her breath leaving her in a shaky sigh and her body melting into his and her eyes closed.

He kissed her like he had all the time in the world, savoring the softness of her lips against his as he tried to commit it to memory for the days he would be away from her. He felt her hand touch his chest, felt his heart thumping against the touch and wished he could know what she was thinking when she felt how hard his heart beat for her. After what felt like an eternity he pulled back, opening his eyes to watch her face as she opened her eyes slowly.

“Marry me.” He whispered, smiling teasingly as her cheeks immediately seemed to grow warmer under his hand.

“Don’t you have work to do?”

“Marry me.” He repeated, cutting off whatever reply she was going to give him with another kiss.

“You’re impossible.” Maomao complained half heartedly in between light kisses, but she didn’t pull away from him and her face tilted almost expectantly when Jinshi raised his head from hers. Neither did she pull her hand back when Jinshi reached for it as he walked her back to the room in the garden where she was staying.

“Tell the Madam to provide me with the cost of having you stay here for the month.” Jinshi had decided that having her stay in the brothel would be better than risking her getting kidnapped looking for herbs again. At least at the brothel he could be sure she would be safe. “I’ll bring the money the next time I come so don’t you dare let her put you to work.”

Maomao rolled her eyes before once again telling Jinshi he needed to return to his work. She squeezed his hand before letting it go, and Jinshi heavily debated taking her with him despite the Emperor’s decision before Gaoshun dragged him away.

Chapter Text

Rumors were common in the court, especially in the rear palace where the lower consorts had nothing better to do than gossip about the affairs of others. Usually the gossip was targeted towards other consorts and their ladies, but lately the gossip centered around a purple haired eunuch and his frequent trips into the capital city.

Many reported seeing leave in a carriage, sometimes returning within a few hours while other times he would be gone for the entire day. Officials complained about their meetings being canceled last minute or being unable to find the man when they needed him for something.

There was even a time that the celestial eunuch had angrily stormed out of the palace in a carriage after meeting with the Emperor, only to be gone for two whole days before returning with a smile and a much improved mood than he had left with.

Only Lady Gyokuyou seemed uninterested in the rumors, though she would smile knowingly whenever they were brought up to her before changing the subject.

–

In the capital city rumors were far less common, instead of rumors there were mere observations.

People observed that the Verdigris had employed an in-house apothecary - the adopted daughter of the town physician who primarily cared for the courtesans employed at the brothel. She wore plain robes, but in her hair there was always an elegant silver pin that she seemed to touch often when she thought nobody was looking. The in house care seemed to bring more girls to the establishment, increasing profits as the apothecary seemed to work for her stay instead of receiving a wage.

People also observed the frequent visits of a finely dressed man, though he never entered the brothel proper. Whenever his carriage arrived he could be seen walking through the back entrance of the brothel that led to the gardens that customers were not allowed into. Those that brought it to the Madam’s attention were merely shooed off with an annoyed look, though the Madam never did anything about the sometimes late night visits.

One day people observed that the brothel had suddenly closed down for the night, though the lights inside remained on and music and celebration could be heard from inside. It had been the night after the same man had angrily stormed into the back gardens, and the seamstress that serviced the Verdigris had been asked to rush an order of marital robes for a ridiculous price. Most people had assumed a courtesan had been bought out by the lights that lit up the pleasure district, but nobody outside of the brothel seemed to know who they had been for.

The only thing people observed having changed, was that the apothecary that worked there began to wear robes in colors of blue and purple instead of her usual plain robes.