Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Friday, June 10th, 2005

3:03pm. Hillwood, Washington.

The last day of school. Thank God. Helga G. Pataki did not want to be in there any longer than she had to be already. She was just glad she had finally finished eighth grade, meaning that she’d be moving on to high school next school year. But that was the last thing she had on her mind right now.

Helga quickly ran to the bus, seeing that she was one of the last ones on. She saw all of her classmates throwing paper airplanes, Harold eating a six-inch sub because he was hungry, like always. Sid and Stinky timing Harold to see how fast he can eat his sub. Curly flirting with Rhonda once again. Eugene, well, just being himself. Brainy being weird and staring at Helga with his loud breathing. Nadine reading a book about bugs and Lila seeming not as satisfied with the bugs as Nadine is.

And finally, two out of three of Helga’s best friends. Phoebe and Gerald. The two had been sitting together on the bus for as long as she could remember. Ever since they had gotten back from their fifth grade San Lorenzo trip. They didn’t officially start dating until about a year ago, and to Helga’s surprise, Phoebe was the one who asked out Gerald.

She had known the two had liked each other for quite some time, and she also knew that the time for them to date would soon come, she just didn’t know how soon. Phoebe still hung out with Helga a lot, but she also tried to spend as much time with Gerald as possible. She had read a lot about relationships, and one of the most important things she read about was to make sure you kept your relationship and friendships as healthy as possible.

But she saw that someone had been saving a seat for her, ever since the beginning of middle school actually whenever he was on the bus first: Arnold Shortman. Childhood crush ever since Helga was 3 years old, but one of the best friend’s Helga could possibly have. It’s true that the girl’s been hopelessly in love with him most of her life, but it was no reason that she can’t be friends with him. She had gotten more comfortable around him as she got older, still having her ‘swooning over him’ moments, meaning she had to look away from her when he did something cute.

Arnold saw that Helga was finally on the bus and couldn’t help but smile at her. He waved so that she could see him, telling her to come sit with him. Helga, holding her books in her arms, smiled back, and walked fast to the seat, and aggressively sat down, throwing her books and backpack under her seat. 

“What’s up, Football Head?” Yes, she still calls him that after 5 years.

Arnold, still smiling, looked Helga in the eyes. He never realized how pretty they were. “Hey, Helga.” He finally replied.

This made Helga blush, looking away nervously. His smile. The Football Head’s smile always got the best of her. Which made her completely forget that Gerald and Phoebe were in the seat next to the two. She saw that both of them were giggling, seeing how cute the two of them were, which made Helga flustered.

“What are you two looking at?” Helga yelled out of pocket, which made Phoebe turn to Gerald as they both started to whisper and giggle to each other.

“Criminy, I thought this day would never end! I’ve been waiting for the last day of school since the first day of school.” She chuckled, getting a little too comfortable as she adjusted herself. She faced her body towards Phoebe and Gerald, crossing her legs, and leaning her head on Arnold’s shoulder.

Arnold immediately felt his heartbeat get quicker, and his face began to feel warmer too. He knew he had feelings for Helga, but he didn’t know they would be this intense. But instead of panicking, he immediately thought of something he wanted to talk about.

“Hey, what kind of music do you listen to again?” he asked her.

“Any kind, Arnoldo. Why?”

“Well I recently got into 70’s and 80’s metal music, and I thought it sounded pretty cool.”

Helga sat up, giving him a confused look on her face. “ You? Metal music? No offense, Arnold, but that does not sound like you.”

“Well, it’s mainly Metallica, Van Halen, Ozzy, and AC/DC.”

That made more sense. “Okay, that sounds more like you,” she leaned her head back on his shoulder. “Carry on!”

“My parents took me to this record shop where they selled these cool vinyl albums and CDs, and I got some of my favorite CDs that I could recommend to you.” He smiled, his cheeks the slightest pink.

Now this piqued Helga’s interest, rock and heavy metal was more of her kind of music, and seeing Arnold liking her kind of music? She couldn’t help but smile. 

“I know you like this type of music, so I figured I could let you borrow some of my CDs if you want to.” He suggested.

Helga was resting her eyes until he said that. She sat up again, looking a bit surprised. “You’d do that?” She asked him, and Arnold nodded immediately, like he wanted Helga to borrow them.

“Wow, that’s really nice of you, Football Head. I’m curious to see which ones you’ve picked out.” She smirked playfully at him as he chuckled, and she couldn’t help but smile. She’s always loved his laugh, even if it was just a chuckle or a giggle even. She’s always loved everything about him, there was no doubt about it.

Arnold kept digging in his back until he yelled, “Found them!” He was holding 4 CDs. One was Ride The Lightning from Metallica, another was Van Halen 1 from, well, Van Halen, the other was Diary of a Madman from Ozzy Osburne, and the last one was Back in Black from AC/DC.

“Holy crap, Arnold! You’ve picked some good ones! I’ve heard Back in Black, but I’ve been wanting to listen to those ones for a while! But Bob wouldn’t let me get them.” Helga admitted, feeling a bit jealous Arnold even owned those CDs. But he was sweet for letting her actually borrow them, they’d probably be worth some money one day.

“Okay, if you’re really a huge fan of metal, tell me the years these came out, all 4 of them.” Arnold teased, and Helga took that as a challenge. She told him each year from the order he held them in.

“That’s too easy. 1984, 1978, 1981, and 1980.”

He knew Helga was smart, but he didn’t know she’d actually get them all correct. He was more amazed than he was surprised. “Wow, Helga,” he said as he gave her three of the CDs, “you really are a huge fan.”

“Doi! I’ve been wanting to see Metallica in concert, but I can’t find anyone to go with, plus tickets are expensive. Same with Wrestle Mania. Prices are up to $50 now, can you believe it!”

“It’s better than $100.” Arnold couldn’t help but chuckle again.

“It’ll probably be like that in 19 years or something.” Helga said, laying her head on his shoulder again. 

“Not 20 years?”

“Eh gotta be specific on these kinds of things, Arnoldo.”

He chuckled again. Helga put her arm over her mouth, covering up her smile that showed how much she loved Arnold. It’s not as extreme as it was in 4th grade, she’s learned to really control her emotions, but that didn’t mean that she loved him any less than she had before.

She then held the 3 CDs in her hand like it was something else in life. She could not lose these. Though she was good about not losing things, she had a tendency to lose things in her room at least once in a while.

“You know, you really are lucky, Arnold.” She sat up, still admiring his CDs. He saw the excited look on her face and it made him blush. “I heard that these are great albums to listen to. And the guitar solos are absolutely amazing! Especially in Ride The Lightning!” He saw the sparkles in her eyes, and it made him swoon.

The bus had stopped, and Helga saw that it was her stop first. “Criminy, finally! Summer vacation time!” She quickly grabbed her things and got up, starting to walk to the bus door, until she turned around and quickly ran back to Arnold, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. This time his eyes sparkled as he looked up at her.

“Thanks for the CDs, Arnold.” She smiled, winked, then walked off the bus. As he watched her walk off, he couldn’t help but place his hand where she kissed and smiled warmly. Swooning over Helga G. Pataki. He never thought he’d see the day. And neither did Gerald, until now.

“Hey Arnold!” Gerald yelled, which shook Arnold out of his imagination. 

“What? Did you say something?” Gerald had never seen Arnold so distracted before, but at least it was for a good reason.

“I said, You really have a thing for Miss Pataki, don’t you?” Gerald asked, smirking this time. 

Arnold thought about it, and the more it dawned on him, the more he realized that ever since 6th grade, he’s really liked Helga, more than a friend even. He would even dare say that he’s fallen for Helga for the past couple years. Sure, there were some mean moments when it came to her, a lot actually. But deep down, he knew all along she had a soft side. And now that’s come upon Arnold, because he knew how nice and kind she’s been towards him for the past couple years. It didn’t sound like Helga, but ever since San Loranzo, that’s how she’s been with him.

“I’m surprised you two haven’t started going out yet.” Phoebe pointed out, Gerald was about to say the same thing.

“Yeah, especially since you guys have kissed like, 4 times?”

“Well 5 now, but yeah.”

“You know I mean on the lips man.”

“Okay fine, 4 times on the lips, and once on the cheek.” Now Arnold got a bit flustered. He didn’t want his emotions to get the best of him, especially towards his best friend.

“Right. And here’s the true question. Do you want to ask Helga out?” Phoebe spoke up. She was one out of the two people who knew Helga’s love for Arnold since preschool. And now that Arnold had fallen for Helga, it’d be too weird for them not to get together.

The fact that it had taken a minute for Arnold to answer that question was a waste of time, because his immediate answer to Phoebe’s question was, “Absolutely.”

Chapter Text

3:31pm. Hillwood, Washington.

She was on her way to the pawn shop, thinking about how she confidently kissed Arnold on the cheek. She also wondered how she did that so confidently?? That was her childhood crush for Pete’s sake!

Helga Pataki, wearing a gray beanie with a striped pink and white t-shirt, along with ripped jeans and her black boots, was carrying old CDs that her parents had gotten her for Christmas and her birthday, which she didn’t want. Bob and Miriam have gotten her the wrong ones every time, and she was going to sell them, make money, and buy the ones she actually wanted.

Maybe she would get Arnold one too. He was nice enough to loan his CDs to her after all, though he was always nice. But he wouldn’t loan those to just anybody. It’d be to someone who actually likes that type of music, and she was grateful that rock and heavy metal was her favorite genre of music.

She then saw that she was right at the doors to the pawn shop. She carefully opened the door, praying she wouldn’t drop any of the CDs. Like Helga would care anyway, it was all country music. The one genre she didn’t care for too much anyway.

“Hello, welcome to the pawn shop. How can I help you today?” The woman behind the desk asked Helga cheerfully.

“Uh, hi. I’m just giving up some old CDs my parents decided to get me when I didn’t want them.”

“Gosh darn, well that’s quite alright. I’ll just ring these up and give you the money in just a moment.”

She looked one way, then the other, and awkwardly told her, “Yeah, okay.” She took a little stroll around the pawn shop. Most of the stuff of course looked old, but in Helga’s perspective, it looked pretty cool too. She liked things that were from the 80’s and 90’s; it always made her curious. 

Adults have told her how much they enjoyed the 80’s and she always wondered what it would have been like if she lived through that time. Would it be cool as adults say? Or would it be another boring ten years? She wondered about stuff like that, a lot of the time actually.

She stopped thinking when she saw a set of beautiful heart-shaped lockets, smaller than hers, but one that could fit the picture she had of her and Arnold they took about a month ago at the arcade. She held that picture close to her everyday sense then, making sure she never lost something so valuable to her, something that was irreplaceable.

She grabbed the locket, checking the price that would most likely be on the back of it. The price tag had been labeled with the numbers $19.99. This was perfect, she should have plenty of money to get the lockets once those CDs are sold, the lady just needed to hurry up so she could actually buy it.

Helga kept hold to the locket as she walked back up to the front desk. The lady was on the last CD, and once she saw Helga, she was fairly quick about getting the price on it. “Alright, deary! The total of all those came to $160.” She smiled at her, and Helga couldn’t stand more awkwardly than she already has.

Deary? She thought. “Uh, actually, you can take $20 out of that, I wanna get these matching lockets.

“Oh my, that’s a wonderful choice you got there. Is there a boy in your life?” She smirked, giggling at Helga, who had no patience for this.

“Look, lady, I’m kinda in a hurry. Can I please get my money and my lockets?” Helga asked, but not in the most polite way. But when has she been polite to anyone but Arnold lately?

“Ohhh, going to meet up with him, I see. I’ll ring this up for you in a jiffy then.” She winked at her, and Helga returned the face gesture with an impatient look like she wanted to leave so quickly and forget she met this old lady.

“Here’s your money, deary. And the lovely lockets for you and your boy-”

Before she could finish her sentence Helga was already walking out the door; she knew what she was going to say, she just didn’t want to hear the word until it was actually official.

But the song that played inside the pawn shop is the same kind of music that plays in the music shop, so she’ll likely hear it again in a second. She liked how it sounded with small guitar riffs in there.

She opened the door to the music shop, where the little bell rang every time a customer walked inside, letting the employees know that they needed to do their job. Luckily she knew this guy at the music shop well enough that he actually did what he was supposed to do.

“Hey, Pataki. What can I do for you today?” The music shop owner was a good friend of Helga’s, even though he already graduated high school a year ago, he knew Bob and Miriam well because he babysat Helga a few times when her sister, Olga, couldn’t come home in time.

“What’s up, Alex? I just got $140 from the pawn shop across the street for selling these CDs Bob and Miriam gave me that I didn’t want.” She explained.

Alex chuckled, “That sounds very much like your parents. But you seem to be doing well, happy even.” He joked. It was a good thing he was 19, otherwise Helga would have punched him for trying to flirt with her.

“Yeah, things between Arnold and I have been amazing lately. But that's all I'm telling you. It’s not like I’m gonna tell you my life story of how much I like the Football Head.” Helga yelled, and it made Alex chuckle.

After a few moments of them talking, Helga found the Ride The Lightning CD she’s been wanting, she had also found Van Halen’s 1984 CD. She had that one, but Arnold didn’t, and it’d be a perfect thank you gift for him for lending her his CDs. So she immediately grabbed it, along with Ride The Lightning. She then grabbed the CD, Paranoid, made by Black Sabbath. She’d been wanting that one too, she liked the songs War Pigs and Electric Funeral.

As she was about to walk to the front desk, she saw there was another band she hadn’t seen before, one that had new Vinyl Albums and CDs added to the shop not too long ago.

“Hey, Alex? What’s this band?”

Alex walked over and explained the newest addition to the music shop. “That, my friend, is the thrash metal band called Slayer.” He did a little jazz hands motion as he showed Helga.

“Slayer, huh?” Her curiosity piqued again. She was intrigued by this thrash metal band.

“Yep. Slayer. When their 1986 album, Reign of Blood, came out, they became part of the Big Four.”

Helga then realized that this was the Slayer that she’s heard of. She had heard of the Big Four, but forgot that Slayer was a part of it. “That’s the Slayer of the Big Four!?” Helga got excited, she was always excited when it came to stuff like this.

“Exactly. Personally, my two personal favorites of Slayer are South of Heaven, which came out in ‘88, and Seasons of the Abyss, which came out in ‘90. And the great thing is that since Slayer is coming out with a new album next year, we’re having a buy 2 get 1 free sale. So you can get Reign of Blood, too, if you want.” Alex explained.

Helga had never been more excited about thrash metal then she had been in her life. She immediately took his offer and bought the other 4 CDs. She had never actually been big on Slayer, but she heard a couple of their songs before, but didn’t think anything on it, until now.

“Thanks so much, Alex!”

“No prob, Pataki. Any more questions?”

“Uh, two actually. First, when’s Slayer's new album coming out?”

“They say August 8th of next year.”

“Criminy, that’s gonna be a while.” She practically told herself. But looked back up to ask Alex her other question. “And do you happen to know what song played on the radio last?”

“Interested in it, huh? It’s called Pull Me Under by Dream Theater.”

“Thanks!” Helga had never been more excited about anything in her life. She was quickly running home to tell her parents the exciting news, when she realized-

“Wait a minute,” she told herself. “They won’t care what I have to say; they still act like I don’t exist.” Helga was about to sit down on her stoop, when she then realized another thing.

“Oh, doi! That’s right! Arnold! I’ll just go to his place and tell him, and I’ll give him his CD too!” Helga then began to start running again, getting more hyped.

Her heart raced like it never had before, her breath was ragged, the thought of Arnold just made her run faster than any thought she had of the Football Head. She never felt this exhilarated before. She wanted to feel this way more often. But with her life and emotions all over the place, how could she?

But before she could answer her own question, she was standing right outside Arnold’s house. She knew once she rang the doorbell that anyone but Arnold would answer, but that’s okay. Everyone in the Boarding House knew who Helga was. She’s been inside before, she had both sneaked inside and came in announced before.

Without further ado, she rang the doorbell. Seeing that Phil, Arnold’s grandfather, was the one to open it. “Oh, why hello eyebrow.” That’s what he always called her, because he was 81 and hardly remembered her name. But she didn’t care right now. She had business to take care of.

“Oh, hi Phil. Is Arnold home? I wanna stay for a bit.” She explained, seeing how Abner, Arnold’s pig, was rubbing up against her. Normally she would be disgusted, but that was the old Helga. She had grown on to Abner anyway.

“Awe, hello to you too, Abner.” The Pig squealed as Helga pet him on the head.

“Shortman’s upstairs as usual.” Phil said, pointing to the staircase.

“Thanks, Phil. Say hi to Gertie, Stella and Miles for me!” Helga yelled as she ran up the stairs as fast as she could.

She had finally made it, climbing the small staircase to Arnold’s bedroom door. She knocked it a little too loudly. But how could she not when she just ran from the music shop to here about 10 minutes ago?

She then saw the door open right before her eyes. The reaction Arnold was giving was the reaction she least expected from him, but didn’t care too much at the moment.

He looked a bit shocked to see her, but it kinda made sense, assuming he had no idea she’d be at his house today. “Helga?”

Her ragged breath tried to take over, but she managed to get out, in a soft voice Arnold absolutely adored, as she smiled warmly, “Hey, Arnold.”

Chapter Text

4:12pm. Arnold’s Home.

“Hey, Arnold.” She said between ragged breaths. Her voice was soft, it was something Arnold always loved about Helga, but never admitted to it.

He couldn’t help but smile, she had looked like she just ran 1,000 miles just to come see him. He felt his face getting warmer again, and knew that he had to snap out of his fantasy world before Helga got suspicious.

“Hi, Helga. Come on in.” He stepped back from his door to let her in. And as soon as she ran inside his bedroom, she immediately jumped on his bed, getting comfortable as if she lived there. Well, she practically did in a way. Bob and Miriam hardly ever paid attention to her, and Olga was always somewhere that fancied her. What was the point of staying there when she could go to someone's house 24/7 who actually listened and paid attention to her?

Plus they had no idea what Helga even liked. They got her country music, her least favorite genre. She listened to a country song once, maybe even twice, in a while, but that was it. And they never knew that Helga was allergic to strawberries until she was in fourth grade; some parents they are. Olga was maybe one of the only people in the family who seemed to pay attention to her, maybe more towards Bob and Miriam, but at least she knew Helga was there.

Arnold though. He truly saw her the moment they started preschool. And ever since that day, Helga’s liked him for the past 11 years. In a way, since she’s 14, that was almost 4/5ths of her life that she's truly loved Arnold.

“Okay, Football Head, you will never believe this!”

“What happened?” He asked curiously.

Helga told him everything that happened with selling her old CD’s and how she got $160, and how she bought the matching lockets for the both of them for their arcade picture. She told him she had bought 4 CDs at the music shop, and got one for free. Then pulled them out for Arnold to see which ones she got.

“Slayer?” He asked. He’s heard of them, but he wasn’t too much into them.

“They're part of the Big Four!” Helga told him, her eyes sparkling with excitement, and Arnold couldn’t help but smile warmly to that. “See the bands that are part of the Big Four are Slayer, Metallica, Anthrax and Megadeth. They make some of the most heavy and thrash metal out there! I don’t listen to Anthrax and Megadeth much but I’ve heard some of their music, it’s really cool. But I mostly enjoy Metallica, and now Slayer will become an obsession. Isn’t that the coolest?!”

Arnold’s smile remained on his face the entire time, he couldn’t believe how much he was in love with this girl, and it really made him want to kiss her. He loved it when she babbled, he could listen to her for hours and it’d never bore him. And the fact that she got them matching lockets even though they weren’t dating? How sweeter could she get?

“Hey! Earth to Arnoldo!” Helga snapped at him. Arnold really needed to stop going into his fantasy world.

“Huh?” Oh sorry, Helga. I think that’s really cool.” He answered, then she sat right in front of him and the CDs she laid out.

“Yeah, but are you okay? You kinda stared off randomly?” She asked, a bit worrisome in her tone of voice, which made Arnold heart’s beat a bit faster. She never sounded worried, especially about him.

“Y- yeah I’m okay.” He chuckled nervously, but then he realized something about the CDs she bought. He grabbed it and took a better look at that one, he could have sworn Helga had already owned this one. It was Van Halen’s 1984 album.

“Hey, don’t you already have this one? I could have sworn I’ve seen it in your CD collection before.” Arnold asked curiously.

“I do have a copy of it. I bought that one for you.” She told him, smiling warmly.

Arnold was a bit surprised. Why would she buy him this? Helga never did anything like that. 

“Wait, you’re joking. You really bought this for me?” Arnold couldn’t actually believe this.

“Well, yeah. It’s a little thank you gift for letting me borrow your CDs. And I know how much you’ve been wanting that one lately. It’s one of Van Halen’s best albums in my opinion. Oh, and I wrote a little note inside the case too, but don’t look at it until I leave.” Helga told him. She swallowed nervously, blushing as she looked away from her adorable Arnold.

Arnold stared at the CD for a moment. He couldn’t believe he finally had 1984, and Helga knew he wanted this one more than most things. It’s weird, though, he never knew how much he actually had in common with Helga, especially music taste. There were things that interested him whenever she babbled, and he always seemed to learn more about her everyday. And the more he learned about her, the more he fell in love with her.

“Wow, thank you, Helga. You’re amazing.” He smiled at her warmly as a hint of pink came upon his cheeks. As for Helga, the red that had come and gone just came back, making her look away nervously once again. 

“N- no problem, Arnoldo.” She stuttered. Criminy, why does he have to be so cute?! She thought to herself. It’s true she thinks he’s cute everyday, but there was something about him that was different.

Just then, she saw that Arnold was getting up and grabbing a full box of something she couldn’t quite make out. Until he put it on the floor, Helga saw it was a box full of Vinyl Albums. Her eyes glowed once more, she was truly impressed by how many Albums Arnold actually owned. But they couldn’t have been his exactly, no, they looked to be about 20-25 years old. But there was a lot in there; most of the bands she recognized immediately.

“Holy crap, Football Head! Where did you get these?”

“My dad bought them when he was younger, it’s why I’m into this kind of music. He used to be the same way, and he was nice enough to let me hold onto them.” He explained. Helga was only half listening, she was in love with the albums brought upon her.

“Blizzard of Ozz from Ozzy, The Razors Edge from AC/DC, Fair Warning from Van Halen! And-” Out of nowhere, Helga found a band that stood out to her the most. One of her absolute favorites of all time.

“Arnold! Your dad liked SYSTEM?!” Helga asked, grabbing onto Arnold’s shoulders. She couldn’t contain her excitement any longer. She absolutely loved System of a Down. Their music was absolutely the best she had ever listened to.

“Yeah!” He smiled, now he couldn’t contain his excitement. “My dad was a huge fan of System. He bought all their albums. They were his favorite band, and bought their newest album just for the two of us.”

“Arnold. Have I mentioned how much I love your dad?” Helga asked jokingly, which made Arnold chuckle. Helga’s confidence was very high all of a sudden, as she decided to put her arm around his. Making him notice of course, Helga asked him to make sure, “Are you okay with me doing this?”

Arnold swallowed nervously but nodded to give her a clear answer. He definitely didn’t mind this. In fact, he’d like it if Helga did this more often with him. He wanted to be closer with her, wanted to get to know her more. And then thought occurred to him. He wanted to spend more time with Helga 24/7 because he-

“You know, I don’t think I have a favorite album for System. I really like all of them, and I own all their CDs too. I’m thinking about buying their Vinyl Albums to put as a decoration on my wall, and maybe ask for a record player for Christmas.” Helga explained to him, and he was listening, believe it. He loved listening to Helga talk.

“I don’t think my dad had a favorite of System either. He bought all of their albums just because they were that good. He loved their sound in each song they made. And they truly are a great band in my opinion.” Arnold admitted, which made Helga smile warmly, she couldn’t believe she heard him say that.

Oh Arnold, your words truly are the pique of my interest. I could listen to you talk all day and I would have no problem listening whatsoever. It makes me want to kiss that Football Head of yours. I love you! I love you! I love you!!

“Ye- yeah! They really are. I just wish Bob and Miriam could see that. I wish they could know what kind of music I even like in the first place.” Helga told him, starting to get a little upset. She felt anger and sadness build up in her, something she could never control 100%. And Arnold just let her talk, listening to her reasoning.

“My parents never paid attention to me when I needed it most, especially when I was younger. Bob was always busy watching TV or with his Beeper company, and Miriam was always drinking and passing out on the couch. She never even packed lunch for me for school, and the cafeteria food was always too gross to eat for me, so I just didn’t eat till I got home. I know it’s important to eat, but it’s not like I didn’t want to. In a way, it’s kind of my fault too.

“Arnold, you’re so lucky you found your parents. I mean we did, but that’s besides the point. Miles and Stella care for you so much, especially being apart from you for 10 years. I’ve seen how they are around you, they love you so much and would do anything for you. And you’re lucky to have that kind of bond with them, it’s more than I’ll ever get with them.” Helga’s eyes started to fill with tears, she had never felt more alone, yet so accompanied.

Arnold was about to say something when Helga started talking again. “You’re probably one of the only people who’ve actually noticed me before!” Helga yelled.

He flinched, thinking how could he be one of the only people? That didn’t make any sense. There had to have been more people who had noticed her before.

“What are you talking about? I can’t be the only person who’s noticed you.” Arnold told her. He was so confused. He wanted to yell at her, but he wanted to comfort her, hug her, stop her from getting angry. Too many emotions went through his mind that he couldn’t comprehend. He was just so confused.

Helga on the other hand was just not feeling good. Her and Arnold were having a great time, then she had to open her big mouth and now here she was; anger boiling up in her blood, tears filling up in her eyes. She started to tremble a bit, she hated this feeling. She was about to have a panic attack.

“I’m talking about the fact that you were the only nice person to me at the time!” Helga’s anger started to get out of control, and Arnold just stood there, not knowing what to do. He had never seen Helga this angry before, but he had heard some of the symptoms for someone who was about to have a panic attack. But in all of what was going on, he let Helga speak.

“Y- you noticed me in preschool. You complimented on my bow, you noticed me in a nice way. Then later Harold stole my crackers, I almost cried. But you stepped in and gave me yours, just for me. You were the only one who was actually nice to me, and have been since that day. No one is that nice to me. But you.” She trembled a little more, holding her arms as she started to stutter, her breath ragged.

“Do you know how hard it’s been? Knowing that people don’t like you because you’re either a bully at school, or maybe just a bad daughter?”

His face began to well up a bit, he didn’t know much Helga actually went through in her life.

“I spend so much time with you because you’re the only one who notices the real me. My love for things,my hate for things, my emotions, everything! You care, Arnold. And I like you for the kind of person you are towards me, towards other people. And...sometimes it’s so hard to express my true feelings for you. But now? I’m older, I’m wiser, I’m Helga G. Pataki. I know how I feel for you, and I have to say...” she got up and sat next to him, and it made him immediately place his hands on her arms, so close to actually comforting her.

“I really love you, Arnold.” Her eyes sparkled once again, the worried look on her face told him that she was scared that he wouldn’t love her back. But his face was warm, not because he was tearing up, but because of the blush on his face when he had to tell Helga the truth.

But before he could even say anything, she hugged him. Helga was hugging him. He’s never actually felt Helga’s embrace before, it was so comforting, but he’s not the one who needs comfort.

So without thinking, he hugged her back. He sat up as much as he could so her head could lay on his chest, even though she was taller than him still. Helga had never felt more relaxed. The sound of his beating heart made her feel ways she couldn’t imagine. She felt more relaxed with each breath he inhaled and exhaled. And Arnold? Well, let’s just say that seeing her the way she was, he fell for her more than he knew himself.

After Helga calmed down, she sat up and collected her CDs. She placed them in her bag and started to get up. Arnold immediately sat up and took her hand without even thinking. “Helga, wait.”

“Oh, I’m not leaving yet, Football Head. I just gotta use the bathroom.” She told him.

“Oh, go ahead then.” Arnold said, feeling embarrassed.

Helga saw the worried look on his face, but then she smiled warmly. Thinking of a great idea that even Arnold might be okay with.

“I’ve got an idea, Football Head.” She then smirked.

Arnold raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Oh yeah?”

“What if I secretly stayed here tonight? My parents won’t give a crap. Bob has a night shift and Miriam’s been passed out on the couch since this morning. We’d talk about so many things and maybe even get a chance to listen to your dad’s old records. What do you say?”

Arnold really had to think on this one. On one hand, he’d absolutely love for Helga to stay here. He’d get a chance to tell her his true feelings and a chance for them to maybe have a closer bond. On the other hand, he didn’t want to get caught with a girl spending the night in his room. Miles and Stella did really like Helga, and they always told Arnold to give him time to confess his feelings toward her, but now that he’s ready, would Arnold's parents be okay with her spending the night?

There was only one way to find out. “Uhm, would it be okay if I asked my parents? Or do you wanna keep this a secret?”

“Oh no, I trust Miles and Stella. You can ask them if that makes you feel more comfortable, Football Head.” She smiled warmly, caressing his cheek before going to use the bathroom.

Suddenly his eyes had hearts in them. These kinds of feelings for Helga were way more intense then what he felt for Ruth and Lila. Maybe because he’s known her longer than the others, or that he had feelings for her all along, and never knew it. At least not until he found his parents...

Suddenly Helga came back quickly, and saw Arnold standing in the same spot from when she left. She had a confused look on her face as she continued to look at him. “Arnold?” She asked, and once again, he snapped back to reality.

“Arnold you’ve been doing that a lot lately, are you okay?” Helga asked, worrisome in her tone of voice again. The concern in her voice made Arnold smile warmly again as he blushed. But he had to let Helga see he was okay or else she might be more worried.

“Y- yeah. I’m fine! I was just about to ask my parents about you.” He chuckled nervously. Helga was so close to him, it was making him nervous. He’d never felt that way before.

But out of nowhere, Helga kissed him on the cheek like she did earlier, and told him, “Well hurry back, I wanna spend time listening to these with you.” She smiled, winking at him like she did on the bus.

Arnold quickly walked out the door and ran downstairs, and that’s when his heart burst with joy. He leaned against the wall and smiled with love written all over his face. Placing his hand where Helga kissed him, he blushed harder than he ever had before. He practically swooned over her. Man. It’s crazy how much you love someone, isn’t it?

Once Arnold finally stopped swooning over his crush, he saw his parents talking in the dining room. They seemed so happy; he really loved them. But right now it was time to ask the question he’d been nervous to ask.

“Mom? Dad?” Arnold asked, walking in on them.

“Hey, Arnold! What’s going on, little man?” Miles asked him and he took Stella’s hand and interlocked it with his.

“Well, I wanted to ask you guys something important.”

“Anything, Arnold. What do you need?” Stella asked this time.

He inhaled, then exhaled. Here it goes, he thought.

“Can Helga spend the night here?”

Chapter Text

4:32pm. Arnold’s House.

“Can Helga spend the night here?” He asked as calmly as he could, trying not to sound too desperate.

Miles and Stella looked at each other, then back at their son. Of course they wanted him to spend time with his friends, especially Helga, during summer vacation. Both of them have met Bob and Miriam before, and they knew how they were, and how they treated Helga at times, and that’s why they treated Helga well here when she came to visit Arnold.

They have also known that Arnold’s liked Helga for quite some time now, and they know that Arnold wouldn’t try to do anything they wouldn’t approve of, he was a bold kid, as Gerald always says. And if this sleepover would make Arnold happy, then so would them.

“I don’t see why not. What do you think, Stell?” Miles asked her, still interlocking her hand. Stell. A nickname that made Stella swoon every time. It was simple, but it had meaning behind it, and it made her love Miles more than ever. It was definitely where Arnold got his swooning feelings from.

“That’s okay with me, Arnold. Just tell Phil. You know how much he jokes about you two.” Stella told him, which made Arnold groan. Some of the stuff he says is kind of inappropriate, and it made Arnold a little uncomfortable, but he just had to tell him, then he could go back to Helga. He wanted to give her something anyway.

When Arnold walked into the kitchen, he saw his grandma making dinner. Regular spaghetti. That wasn’t normal, but thank God it was tonight that she made something normal. Arnold doesn’t think Helga could take another of Grandma’s weird dinners.

“Hey grandma, just wanted to let you know that Helga’s staying the night. So we need an extra plate on the table.” He told her, his smile beaming at her.

“I see, Kimba. Good to know. I’ll make sure to get a plate for your girlfriend.” Gertie smirked. She loved to tease her grandson, especially about Helga. And she knew Phil did the same all the time.

“Grandma! She’s not my girlfriend!” He yelled, but leaned it closer, his voice to a whisper. “But how did you know I liked her?” He curiously asked.

And that’s when Phil walked into the kitchen. “Well you just told her she’s spending the night, Shortman. Make sure to go easy on her, okay?” He teased, patting Arnold on the back. And he couldn’t help but blush massively.

“GRANDPA!”

“Hehehe. I’m only teasing, Arnold. But Helga seems like a good girlfriend for you. Make sure you don’t mess it up if you two do get together.” He told him, sounding serious this time.

That’s when Arnold decided to tell him about how much he’s been feeling for Helga lately, and that he figured out that he truly loved her. All the feelings he’s been getting lately. The swooning, the embarrassment, the nervousness. Phil had always known what to say in these kinds of situations, he’s helped Arnold practically his whole life with advice about anything.

“Well, Shortman, if you really do love her, why don’t you just tell her tonight?” He asked.

“But wouldn’t that be moving forward too quickly?”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Arnold. If what you say is true, that you’ve had a crush on her for a long time now, then you have to tell her how you truly feel. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up any longer, because the longer you wait, the harder it’ll be for you to tell her how you feel about her.

“Tonight is the perfect time for you to tell her. You two will be alone together, most likely listening to your favorite kinds of songs, because that’s what teenagers do. So get that confidence inside of you, build it up, and tell her as soon as possible.”

Phil was right, Arnold needed to tell Helga soon. Or else he wouldn’t ever get the chance, and this was the Helga G. Pataki. The girl that has been on Arnold’s mind for who knows how long now, the girl who Arnold truly wanted to be with, the girl Arnold has been in love with for a long time.

That’s when Arnold ran back upstairs to see Helga at his computer desk. She had his and her picture of them when they went to the arcade together about a month ago. She also had scissors, cutting out the pictures into hearts. And the funny thing was that Arnold knew exactly what Helga was doing.

Once she was done cutting them in the perfect heart shape, she took the two matching lockets and stuck the pictures inside. She then grabbed a pen and wrote something in one of them, but he couldn’t make out what it said. But it must have been for him. Or at least that’s what he thought until Helga also started writing in the other one.

But this one she took a bit longer on. Like she was writing a small note inside it. Maybe that one was for Arnold and he wasn’t supposed to know about it. But maybe she’d tell him. Maybe.

Helga was also occupied by listening to a song that sounded familiar to Arnold. One that always played in the local Music Shop downtown, but he couldn’t think of the name of it.

Finally, he stepped back into his room, which made Helga turn around quickly. “Hey, Football Head! Have you heard this song before?” Helga asked him, pointing to the name on the computer screen. Arnold walked over and saw the name of it: Pull Me Under by Dream Theater.

“Yeah! I overheard it when I was coming upstairs but I couldn’t think of the name of it.” He admitted.

“Oh my gosh, it is such a good song. The guitar riffs are absolutely amazing!” Helga told him, smiling warmly.

Like you are, he thought. But he couldn’t be drifted into his fantasies right now. Tonight he had one thing to focus on: his confession.

“Oh! That reminds me. I got you something.” Arnold told her, which made her turn back around to see what Arnold had.

“Okay. How much do you like the band Avenged Sevenfold?” He asked her. Arnold wasn’t really much into that band either, but he knew Helga would be if she liked Metallica and Slayer.

“Oh my gosh, I love them! They have some of the best music! Why do you ask? I don’t think you listen to them.” Helga stated the obvious. But then her heart nearly exploded because of what Arnold had to give her. “Arnold- this can’t be real. Is that-”

“City of Evil? Yep! I had bought the last copy in the music shop because I knew you would like it. The guy at the counter said that was the copy they were going to have for a while, so I bought this just for you. I hope you like it.” Arnold told her with a warm smile on his face. The smile that always made Helga swoon over him, but she was interested in her new CD at the moment.

“Arnold, you are absolutely amazing! I can’t believe you actually got me this! This only came out like four days ago! And the art on this is so cool, oh my god.” She hopped out of Arnold’s chair and gave him a hug that he never wanted to forget happened.

She was a lot stronger than he remembered, but she managed to pick him up and twirl him around at least one time, gently putting him down and hugging him a bit tighter, but in a gentle kind of way. Like she never wanted to let go of him. “Thank you so much, Arnold!”

His heart beat like crazy. His eyes filled with hearts. His face warm from the blush that came across his cheeks and nose. And his smile that grew upon his face. Warm. She was so warm. It made Arnold feel so comfortable around her, more comfortable than he’s been before. He didn’t want this moment to end, yet his head laid right on Helga’s chest, hearing her heartbeat, which kept getting faster each beat.

He lifted his head to see Helga’s face expression completely different than what it was a minute ago. “Helga, you okay? You seem nervous.” Arnold asked, then saw the blush spread across her cheeks, and she immediately let go of him and went back towards his desk.

“I- I forgot that I have something to give you too!” Helga told him, which he knew what it already was, assuming he kept staring at her. But he always felt sad because she let go of him so quickly, it almost didn’t feel right.

“But you already gave me a gift, Helga. You’ve given me more th-”

“This one’s special, Arnoldo. Trust me.” She swiveled the chair to grab the lockets, then swung back to face Arnold. He may have seen them from farther away, but not up close. His eyes started to glow when he saw how it truly fit inside the locket.

“Helga...”

“I saw these at the pawn shop, and I figured I could give you one of your own. Of course you don’t have to carry it around like I do, but it’s something for the both of us. And look at this. It has two sides, so you can put one picture on each side. The other side I did was of only you, which was in my old locket. But in any case, here you go.”

Arnold took his locket. He couldn’t believe she had gotten him one of his own. Now he had a safer place to put his picture of Helga, which he just now remembered. So he ran over to his bed and grabbed it out from under his pillow. As he got back to his desk, he took the scissors and carefully cut it into a heart shape so it could fit, and it fit perfectly in there.

“Now I have a picture of just you in my locket!” Arnold pointed out as he smiled warmly. Meanwhile Helga’s heart went crazy. He had a picture of her? SINCE WHEN?

“W-when did you take that picture of me?” She asked curiously. This must have been back in sixth grade after they came back from their San Loranzo trip. They had wanted to spend more time together since then, so they decided to take a trip to the park.

He chuckled nervously, then started to tell her the story.

Thursday, August 21st, 2003

2:47pm. The Park.

It was a beautiful day out, and Helga and Arnold were just walking to the park, talking about whatever came to their minds. The great thing about the two of them having a conversation, is that they know exactly what to say because they know each other so well.

They were about to sit at a bench, continuing the conversation they were having, until Arnold saw Gerald and his younger sister, Timberly, coming towards them. Timberly let go of Gerald’s hand and ran all the way to Arnold and gave him a hug.

“Hey, Timberly. Long time no see.” Arnold chuckled, and Helga just sighed at her beloved. He was always so nice towards people, it was his specialty afterall. 

“Hey, Arnold! Wanna play on the monkey bars with me?” Timberly asked, but before Arnold could answer her, Gerald walked in on them.

“Timberly! What did I say about letting go of my hand? I don’t want anything happening to you, you know.” He told her.

“Sorry Gerald. Anyways Arnold. Monkey bars?” She pleaded. Arnold looked over at Helga. It was really her decision, this was her idea to come to the park after all. He didn’t wanna just leave her alone. But he was surprised when he heard her answer instead of her getting mad.

“Eh, go ahead, Football Head. I’ve been wanting to work on my thing anyway. I’ll wait here for you.” Helga smiled as she watched Arnold turn towards Gerald and do their handshake. Then he waved to her and went over to the monkey bars to hang out with Gerald and Timberly.

“Oh, Arnold. My love,” Helga said to herself, “you are truly a kind soul. Playing with kids younger than you because they want to. It makes me want to kiss that football shaped head of yours. My beloved, kiss me now!"

As Timberly played on one of the monkey bar sets, Gerald and Arnold were sitting on the other one next to it and talking. They didn’t really want Timberly hearing this since she was kind of a big mouth, but she was 4, and focusing on making it across the monkey bars. What was she gonna do?

“Alright man, just admit it.” Gerald kept telling him. Arnold knew exactly what he was talking about, but always tried to play cool to avoid what’s been on his mind since they came back from San Lorenzo.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Gerald.” Arnold told him as he started swinging on one of the monkey bars.

“Come ON, Arnold! You know what I’m talking about! It’s not that hard to admit that you-”

“GERALD. SHH!” Arnold yelled. The last thing he wanted was his best friend blurting out his secret. So Arnold jumped down from the monkey bars and motioned Gerald to follow him. They had left Timberly with her own thing, with Helga watching her from afar of course, and the two boys ran behind bushes nearby so they could talk more privately.

“Man what are we doing behind these itchy bushes?” Gearld asks him, though Arnold wasn’t really paying attention, because mind—and eyes—were focused on something else, or more of some one else for that matter.

“Ohh, I see who you’re looking at.” Gerlad then said, folding his arms as he smirked towards his best friend.

“Gerald, no, it’s not what-”

“Arnold. Come on, just spill it out already. It’s pretty obvious.”

He only sat there for a minute. He was right. It was kinda obvious, especially on what he just did; they’re hiding behind bushes for christ’s sake.

“Okay fine. I like Helga. I’ve liked her a lot since we got back from San Lorenzo.”

“I knew it man. So now tell me why we’re hiding behind bushes?”

Arnold pulled out a polaroid camera and put the strap of it around his neck, and Gerald was so confused on why he had it and where he had it, because he definitely did not see that until just now.

“Helga let me borrow her camera for the next couple days and take pictures for a photosynthesis project. And when I found out she had a locket with a picture of me, and when I kissed her, I knew I had to get a picture of her.” Arnold told him, and Gerald swore he sounded crazy.

“Okay, man. You’ve gone mad.”

“Not mad, just a bit crazy for her.”

“And you realize this is Helga G. Pataki we’re talking about, right? The girl who’s bullied you for the past 10 years?”

“Exactly.” Arnold sounded too calm about that, but he didn’t care too much right now. He needed to focus.

“Well, I’m just glad you’ve finally found someone who likes you back man.” Gerald told him as he placed his hand on Arnold’s shoulder.

Arnold pulled down the camera from his face as he turned his head to look at his best friend. “You mean that?” He asked, after what he said about Helga.

“Of course, Arnold! I still think Helga’s a bully sometimes, but she seems to care about more than I’ve realized. Someone who’d take care of you anytime you needed it, and someone who also knew you since you were 3 years old. She’s the one for you, man.” Gerlad explained.

Arnold’s eyes glowed in the sunlight, he was so lucky to have Gerald as a best friend, he wouldn’t know what to do without him. So he placed his hand out and Gerlad immediately took it, and did their handshake.

“Thanks, Gerald.”

“Don’t sweat it. Now let’s hurry, I don’t want Timberly talking to strangers who think they have free candy again. It didn’t turn out well last time when Jamie O was supposed to watch her.”

Arnold chuckled, then proceeded to point the camera facing towards Helga writing in her little book. She was smiling, and focused. Arnold knew that she was writing her poetry, but he also forgot at times that all of her poetry was about him. He’ll ask if he can read it later. But after the incident in fourth grade? He never even let him touch it again, even when he offered to get it for her a few times when he went over to Helga’s place.

He focused closely. He wanted a clear photo of her, something he could always remember. Something he’d keep for a long time, and if they ever got together, maybe even longer than that. He wanted this photo to be good, great even.

He pressed the button, the camera made a clicking noise, and once he pulled out the picture, he waved it a bit so he could wait for it to fully develop.

Arnold was the first to look at it once it developed, and when he saw it, it was the first time he actually blushed at someone so amazingly beautiful as her.

Then Gerald saw the picture, then Arnold truly mesmerized by the picture, and told him, “you’re a bold kid, Arnold."

(Art by tapioca.puddin on insta & tumblr :D)

5:00pm, Arnold’s room.

“Wow, so you took that picture of me because you liked me liked me?" She asked, smiling warmly.

Arnold blushed, seeing how cute her smile was. He then knew there was no going back now, he had to tell her how he really felt about her. It was now or never.

He chuckled nervously before saying, “Y-yeah, I did.” And Helga was not expecting him to say that. He was serious about that. And she couldn’t just plant another on him so aggressively like she did at the FTI. She had to be calm about this; that was most of the point of going to therapy.

“Geraldo was right, you are a bold kid, Football Head. Especially while secretly keeping that picture of me for 3 years.” She explained as she stood up from the swivel chair.

Arnold smiled, his eyes full of love again. He felt more confident to tell her now than he was before. He felt so ready.

“Helga, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now, and I feel more confident in telling you right now than I have before.

“O-oh yeah? What’s that, Foot- I-I mean Arnold?” She stepped closer to him, until she was right in front of him. He’s grown a bit taller, but still an inch or two shorter than Helga. She reached for his hand and he immediately took hers, interlocking it. Helga blushed as she swallowed nervously. The time has finally come, Helga ol’ girl, don’t ruin this! She yelled in her mind.

“Well, the thing is, all the things we’ve done in the past together, sharing CDs, sneaking around everywhere, hanging out at each other's houses so much, going to the movies and eating at fast food restaurants just the two of us, all of that was because... I-I l-"

“Kids! Dinner!” Miles yelled suddenly.

Chapter Text

5:03pm. Arnold’s room.

“All of that was because... I-I l-”

“Kids! Dinner!” Miles yelled suddenly.

He just had to call them now.

Helga noticed Arnold’s mood suddenly changing very quickly than what it was a second ago, and felt a bit concerned. Even though she knew what he was going to tell her. She saw all the little things Arnold did, the blushing, the warm smiles, those heart shaped eyes. Not only was he just being obvious, but she’s experienced it all before.

But she still asked him anyway, “You okay, Arnold?”

Arnold wasn’t the happiest as he was a few seconds ago. If his dad had waited at least 5 more minutes, then it would have been perfect what he had pictured in his mind what happened. He would have told his confession, Helga would say I love you back—hopefully—and they’d share yet another kiss.

Though it wasn’t really Miles’ fault, he didn’t know what they were doing, he just wished he’d called them later than now. But you don’t get everything you wish for.

He gave out a sigh, still holding Helga’s hand, he couldn’t believe he was still a bit shorter than her, but only by a couple inches. But he didn’t mind it much to be honest, he kind of grew into it over the years.

“Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just the thing I wanted to tell you was really important.” He told her, in a kind of sad tone.

“Well, tell me now.” Helga told him calmly.

“But we have to go down-”

“Tell him we’ll be down in a few.” Helga was serious about this. There were only a few times where she was serious about things, and this wasn’t going to be one of those important conversations that got interrupted because of her crush’s dad calling for dinner.

“Uhm, that’s okay, dad! We’ll come get our food and eat up here in a minute!” Arnold yelled down, trying not to yell in Helga’s ear.

“No problem, son! Take your time!” He yelled back.

Arnold sighed again, only this time it was a relieved sigh. He looked up into Helga’s eyes. God they were beautiful. “Okay, so where were we?” He asked as he smirked right at her.

Helga took her other hand and interlocked it with Arnold’s. She meant it when she thought this was a serious conversation they were having, and she wasn’t going to blow her chance to tell him once again how she really felt about him.

“Well, from my perspective, Football Head, I think you were going to tell me something very important.” Helga said calmly once again. Arnold’s heart was beating like crazy, he found her tone of voice like that kind of attractive. Was he even allowed to think like that? It didn’t matter. The point was, once they share their kiss, Arnold will ask Helga to be his girlfriend, and she will officially be his.

He truly did love her, and he wanted to do this more than anything. He cares for her more than he’s cared for most people. And he definitely cares for her more than Lila and Ruth. And he swore to himself after that he wouldn’t think about them at all like that when he started to like Helga.

And it stuck to him like glue. He hasn’t thought about Ruth since the day he made that promise, and only thought about Lila maybe a few times, but only just as friends. Helga was the girl on his mind the most. The way she cares when she wants to, the way they share interests, the way she can give advice and help Arnold if he needed it—which wasn’t very often. He’s talked about her to the guys a lot, and they all agreed that he did love Helga.

And that’s why he’s standing here right now, telling Helga what she needs to hear.

He took a deep breath in and exhaled out, gripping onto Helga’s hands a bit tighter. His cheeks were a pit pink, he was nervous, but he also kept thinking of the fact he’s actually holding hands with her.

“Okay, Helga. The thing I need to tell you is very, very important to not only me, but it will be to you too. So here it goes.” He closed his eyes, gripping just a slight tighter to Helga’s hands.

“I love you, Helga.”

The words slipped out fast, and Helga’s heart thought it could never beat more crazy than what it had before. But now actually hearing him say I love you? She almost passed out. But she kept her stance, her eye contact on Arnold, but she just couldn’t help hide her blush. Nor could she help but smile warmly towards him.

“At first I just liked you liked you, since our San Lorenzo trip, and I couldn’t help but think of you all the time. You were always on my mind, and I wanted to do so many things with you then. And maybe I went a little crazy and took a picture of you without you knowing, but you can relate, can you?”

Helga chuckled, and it made Arnold’s smile grow a bit wider. “But it’s true what I say, Helga. I really do love you. And I’ve just been falling for you everyday.”

Helga’s face was full of love for her Football Head. She never thought she’d see the day come, but this, this was really happening. So she decided to play a little joke on him. He knew this would not be funny to him, but hey, gotta pull a good joke before they get together.

“Well, I’m sorry to tell you this, Arnoldo, but I just don’t love you like that anymore. Only as a friend.” Helga told him playfully. And she could tell by his facial expression that he didn’t believe her one bit.

“Helga. You’ve liked me for 11 years, we’ve kissed 4 times, and you carried a locket with me since you were 9. There’s no way I’d believe that. Not in a million years.” Arnold told her as he gave her a smirk.

Helga laughed at his comment, only because all the things he’s said were true. She was crazy for him in elementary school. She’d go mad for him, do anything for him. She built shrines, wrote poetry, anything. She loves him. And now he actually loves her back, she just couldn’t believe it.

“Well, criminy, Football Head. Had to make one last joke before we officially got together.” Helga smirked at him, getting closer to Arnold after moving away from him a bit.

Then she saw as he looked surprised. He didn’t know exactly how to react, so he just simply replied with, “Wait what?”

“You heard me, Arnoldo. You wanna go out with me?” Helga’s smile went from a smirk to a gentle smile, one that could lighten up Arnold’s day no matter how bad his day would be. It’s always worked before, why wouldn’t it work in the future?

They both stood still, Helga waiting for his reply as he reached for only one of Helga’s hands, interlocking it with no second to waste. He took his other hand and gently used the tip of his thumb to caress her soft lips. He’s seen enough romance movies to know how he should do this with his love.

Helga’s mind was all over the place. Her heart was beating and beating like she just ran a 10 mile race, and she was about to pass out in front of all the other competitors. Her face was red and warm, she was nervous yet excited. This was the dream that always went through her head, only she didn’t know it’d come true until now.

Arnold and Helga locked eyes with each other, only Helga never knew that Arnold seemed to fall hard for her. Maybe more than she fell for him. It’s like the saying, one falls for them, the other falls harder.

Arnold stopped caressing her lips as he moved his hand down to her cheeks, and Helga had felt so relaxed and relieved of all the stress around her all of a sudden. It felt as if there was nothing around them, just the two of them in this space, together. She then leaned her head slightly on his hand, smiling warmly, her cheeks red, her eyes filled with love.

Arnold slightly got on his tip toes and turned his head to the side a little, both pairs of lips just inches from each other. As Helga thought that he already answered her question by showing her what he’s done, she wasn’t expecting him to stop suddenly, his lips still inches away from hers, feeling his breath by him whispering to her, “Yes.”

He finally leaned in and kissed her passionately. This had been the moment she’d been longing for. His lips paired perfectly with hers, like God did this on purpose, and they were truly meant for each other. Helga did the unthinkable by putting her hand on Arnold’s hand that was touching her cheek. She had never felt this calm before. How could someone make her feel so many things, and yet only one thing at the same time?

Arnold had been wanting to kiss Helga again ever since their San Lorenzo trip. He’d been longing for her when he hardly noticed, he’s had dreams about her, he’s been wanting only her, and he’s even felt jealous when she was around other boys, even though he knew she didn’t like them back, he couldn’t help but feel that way. Arnold had never felt this way about a girl before, he’s experienced liking someone, but nothing this strong, especially for what he felt about Helga. It’s how Gerald and Phoebe knew that he really did love her.

Finally, the two break apart from their kiss, Arnold still holding on to Helga’s cheek, but feeling her take her hand away. And little did he know that she would put both of her hands on his cheeks and kiss him on the forehead, the cheek, even the tip of his nose, and finally, another quick, but gentle, kiss on the lips.

Arnold looked into Helga’s eyes, he’s never been so in love with her before. He literally had hearts in his eyes, his smile was never so gentle, sweet looking. His face was only a bit redder than Helga’s, and it made Arnold want to hug her tightly and never let go. So he did that exactly.

This time he was the one to pick her up and twirled her around, and she smiled, laughed even, she was so happy. More happy than she had ever been, that she hadn’t ever been this happy even with her family. Arnold was really the only one who was allowed to see her soft side. Her true side.

He leaned his head on Helga’s chest, hearing her heartbeat. And Helga had her arms wrapped around him immediately. She had never seen Arnold so loveable, it was so cute of him. And it killed her, because it would just make her heart explode, especially if he’d start being clingy around her. She hated when people were like that, but Arnold was the only exception.

“I might get the tips of my hair dyed.” Helga said after a few minutes of silence, smirking.

Arnold kept his head against her chest and just replied with a, “Hmm, really?”

“Yeah. I might get pink as the color and get rid of the beanie for a while. Maybe actually let my hair flow too.” She admitted.

This time Arnold’s head came up slightly to look at Helga, the idea of her hair dyed piqued his interest. “That wouldn’t look bad on you.”

She smirked, letting go and putting her hands on his cheeks again. “You think so, Hair Boy?”

“Especially in that outfit.” He admitted.

She kept the smirk on her face, gently leaned in, and kissed him once again. She felt all kinds of emotions in her, and she felt true love from her heart, and she knew that Arnold felt the same way.

She broke apart from the kiss, and let go of his cheeks. “Come on, Football Head. We gotta eat dinner. I’m starving anyway.” She told him, but before turning around, she saw Arnold giving her a smirk.

“Orrr, we could stay up here, eat snacks and binge watch something.” Arnold thought, but he knew well that Helga wouldn’t go for it. She didn’t often eat a full meal, which is one of the reasons she always came to the boarding house, because Arnold knew his parents would treat her how she wanted to be treated, and he truly loved them for that, and Helga was always eternally grateful for that.

“It’s a good idea, Arnold, but I really need a meal. I’ve been starving all day.”

And that’s when Arnold’s smirk went to a worried look, and he had the urge to ask her, “Helga, have you eaten anything today?”

Helga wanted to answer him truthfully, she really did. Now that they were together she had to tell him, but she couldn’t, not right now at least. But he would most likely ask her later tonight, she knew him well enough to know that much. But only unless he was curious, she wasn’t going to tell him what she was going through right now, especially what her parents had done.

She swallowed nervously, her eyes now averting his. He saw she wasn’t feeling comfortable, so he walked over, placed a hand on her shoulder, and told her calmly, “You don’t have to answer. You tell me when you’re ready, okay? You can always tell me later, or whenever you’re ready to tell me.” His smile, so warm, so comforting, Helga admired him for such things like him.

She gave him a soft expression on her face and kissed him on the cheek again. “Okay,” she told him in a whisper, then proceeded to walk downstairs.

Arnold’s look of love appeared on his face again, but slowly turned into a look of worry. If Helga started not to eat on purpose, there must be a reason behind it. Did something happen at school? Did one of her friends do anything? Did any of this have to do with her parents?

Her parents, Arnold thought. That has to be the reason; they’ve always been rough on her, especially in fourth grade, and maybe now still. I’ll ask her later tonight.

Then he proceeded to go downstairs and get ready for another big, yet crazy, family dinner.

Chapter Text

5:42pm. Arnold’s house

“What’s for dinner, old man?”

“I’m starving here! Make me a sandwich!”

“Can’t get any decency around here.”

Of course they all don’t mean that. Hopefully.

“You know, I don’t think I fully introduced you to the rest of the boarding house.” Arnold whispered to Helga, who gave her a sweet smile that Helga couldn’t resist sometimes.

“Well, you should probably get on that, Football Head.” Helga told him as she smirked. He playfully rolled his eyes as both of them watched the people of the boarding house fight with Phil.

“Hey guys!” Arnold yelled, and everyone turned their heads as they all yelled at the same time, “Arnold!” Which made him plant a smile on his face. When his parents were missing at the time, he always thought of them as part of his family. He’s known them since he was a baby, and got to know each and every one of them well.

“Arnold, tell Phil to make me a sandwich. I’m starving.” The guy with a beard told him. He wasn’t polite when it came to most things, and only thought about himself, which always made him wonder why his wife was still with him.

“Mr. Kokoshka, mom and dad are in the kitchen right now making dinner, you don’t need a sandwich.” Arnold told him calmly. And Helga seemed impressed by how he seemed to handle things around here.

“But I’m hungry now! Make me a sandwich, grandpa.” He yelled once again.

Arnold turned to Helga and whispered to her, “That’s Oskar. He’s the one I told you about how he only thinks of himself. He can be nice, but demanding most of the time.” He explained. Helga leaned down a bit and whispered back to him, “Seems like the total opposite of you if you ask me.” Helga chuckled to herself. Arnold smiled at her, rolling his eyes playfully.

“Guys, I wanted to fully introduce you to someone: Helga! I’ve known for 11 years now. Helga, this is Mr. Kokoshka, but you can call him Oskar.” He started saying. Helga went to sit down in a chair that was where Arnold was going to sit, when Oskar all of a sudden went to sit next to her in the other empty chair next to her.

“It’s so nice to see that Arnold’s finally found a little girlfriend.” He told her directly as he laughed his weird laugh. Both Helga and Arnold immediately blushed at that, and thankfully Phil stepped in for them.

“Oh be quiet, Oskar. There’s no way they would get together! So don’t even think about getting any ideas!” Phil yelled at him.

“A-anyway! Sitting in the chair at the end is Mr. Hyunh!” Arnold continued.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Helga. You seem like a good person for Arnold, and I don’t mean that in the dating way, by all means.” He told her, and gave her a nice smile.

He’s way better than Mr. Give Me A Sandwich right here, she thought to herself. Mr. Hyunh was never any kind of person to harm anyone, he wouldn’t harm a fly. He was most likely one of the nicest people you would ever meet, and Helga seemed to be a bit comfortable around him, he did write one of the greatest country songs after all.

“Heh, thanks Mr. uhh-”

“Hyunh.” He reminded her.

“Right. Thanks, Mr. Hyunh.”

He bowed down to her in respect. And she couldn’t help but smile, she had never met another adult other than Arnold’s parents who was so nice to her. Other than Oskar, everyone seemed amazing here so far, she’ll have to thank Arnold for introducing them to her later.

“Next to Mr. Hyunh we have Mr. Potts!” Arnold continued.

“Please, call me Ernie.” He told her, sticking out his hand for Helga to shake. She’s heard Arnold mention him, about how short he was. When they were in the fourth grade, he was literally Arnold’s height. Of course Helga doesn’t say anything about his height now, but she’ll have to make some joke out of it to Arnold later.

She took his hand and did a firm handshake. “Nice to meet you, Ernie.” She told him.

“And last, we have...Uh, Oskar? Where’s Suzie?” Arnold asked him.

Suzie? Helga thought. Is that his sister or something?

“I’m right here, Arnold!” She yelled as she ran downstairs, hoping that she wasn’t late for coming down for dinner. As she came running, she was trying to hurry and put on her nice earrings since she heard someone was coming over for dinner, and she always tried to look her best when it came to that kind of occasion. She was wearing a nice dark pink summer dress with slip-on shoes to go with it. Something casual for tonight.

“Wow, Suzie, you look nice tonight. Now tell grandpa here to make me a sandwich.” Oskar told her, and all she did was give him a glare, but had the sudden urge to respond to him.

“Oskar, we're about to have dinner. And don’t even try the being nice trick, you didn’t wait for me when I told you to. Even though you knew we had company tonight.” Suzie explained, and it only looked like Oskar was dumbfounded by her comment.

“Uh, okay. So anyway Hilda-”

“Helga, Mr. Kokoshka. It’s Helga.” She corrected him.

“Yeah, yeah, Hilda, Helga, whatever. So what do you like to do in your everyday life?” He chuckled toward her. The next thing Helga thought about him was that he had a very weird laugh, making her just a slight bit uncomfortable.

“Uh, nothing much. I play baseball with Arnold and some of my other friends a lot.” She told him.

“I see, I see. And is Arnold your boyfriend?” He chuckled again, and this time all of them started yelling at him again.

“Kokoshka you better shut your yap before I shut it for you.” Earnie told him as he held up his fist.

“You cannot just ask the girl something like that all of a sudden...AGAIN!” Mr. Hyunh yelled.

“Why do you always do this, Oskar!?” Both Phil and Suzie yelled.

Arnold then leaned in next to Helga and whispered to her, “Welcome to the Boarding House,” which made her chuckle a bit. Then he added, “You think you can handle a crazy dinner like this?” Arnold asked, and Helga took that as a challenge.

“What? You think I can’t handle it, Football Head?” She asked confidently.

“I’m just saying, these people right here are a lot to handle.” He smirked.

“Well then, I take this as a challenge. If I prove my point, and I don’t excuse myself because of how crazy things get here, then you have to do what I say for the rest of the night.” She said, forming her own smirk upon her face.

“Okay. And if I prove my point, and you do excuse yourself because of how crazy things get here, then you have to do what I say for the rest of the night.” Arnold told her, and stuck out his hand, trying to make the challenge official.

“Deal.” She said, shaking his hand in agreement.

“Dinner is finally ready!” Gertie yelled, bringing in three plates of steak and eggs. Each setting them down first for Phil, Mr. Hyunh, and Earnie. Next who came through the door was Stella, carrying another three plates for Suzie, Oskar, and Gertie. And finally Miles. Coming out with four plates for him, Stella, Arnold, and Helga.

Helga smelled how good it was. She couldn’t wait to dig in. Arnold, on the other hand, smelled how good it was, but was too worried about Helga. He obviously didn’t like the thought of Helga not eating, it wasn’t good for her. Even if she wasn’t doing good right now between her and her family, she still should eat at least a small meal before dinner. He wanted to talk to her about this when they went back to his room, but he didn’t want to push her about it either.

“Oh my gosh, Stella. This smells absolutely amazing.” Helga complimented, and the others around the table happily agreed with her.

“You should thank Miles for most of it, he cooked the steak while I just did the eggs.” She explained.

“It still smells and looks great, mom.” Arnold told her.

“Well thank you sweetie. Oh, Helga, no hats at the dinner table.” Stella told her.

So that’s why Arnold came down without his hat, she thought. “Oh, sorry about that.” And it was then that Arnold had looked at her just in time, because as she took off her beanie, it was like nothing he’d seen before. Her hair looked beautiful with it down now that she had stopped doing pigtails. Her hair flowed down to only her shoulders, her bangs still with her ever since the two had first met. She shouldn’t wear her beanie so often, she had never looked more beautiful than she already had.

Helga saw him looking at her with sparkles in his eyes, and decided to make him blush more than he did. “What?”

That one word made him jump, feeling embarrassed, he lowered his head and hid his smirk, blushing harder. “N-nothing, H-Helga.” He stuttered, holding tight to his shirt. Why was she so beautiful with her hair down? It made Arnold’s heart pound, wanting to just burst out his chest. Wanting to compliment her on how beautiful she looked. It was really hard to just ignore these feelings inside him, he truly loved her.

But as he slightly looked over again, he noticed that Helga was holding onto her stomach, as if she didn’t want anyone to hear it growling, or that maybe it was hurting from a lack of food in her, or both... either way, Arnold didn’t like it.

After they said the blessing, everyone started to chow down on their food, apparently everyone was hungry, but Helga was eating quicker than anyone else at the table.

“And I thought Abner was a quick eater, but look at you go girl!” Phil yelled, and everyone chuckled with her, Arnold a little too, but not much.

“I’ve been starving ever since I got here; I didn’t have much to eat today.” She told everyone, and Arnold had the worried look on his face again, and the only person who seemed to notice was Stella. She was always a big observer.

As everyone ate their steak and eggs, Oskar couldn’t help but look at Helga’s short, but flowy hair. It truly shined from the reflection of the light, it was pure blonde. It was beautiful, and Oskar was reaching in to touch it, until he got a, “OSKAR!” yelled in his ear.

“Whattt? I just wanted to touch her hair! It looks soft and flowy, ehehehe.” His laugh had never creeped Helga out more than any laugh she’s heard before.

“Back off, Kokoshka.” Helga told her, leaning her back near Arnold, with both of her hands to her sides, though her left hand reached Arnold’s as she grabbed it in a bit of panic.

“That gives you no right to touch her hair. You can’t just do that, Mr. Kokoshka. Especially not without her permission. You don’t wanna be creepy, do you?”

If you haven’t noticed, Arnoldo, he already is, Helga thought.

“Arnold’s right, Oskar, you have no right in doing that! And why with me around anyway? You are so creepy sometimes, I don’t get you!” Suzie shouted as she got up and headed back upstairs, Oskar following behind.

“I cannot believe those two are married sometimes,” Phil told the rest of the table, and it made Helga look at him in disbelief.

“Wait a minute, that’s his wife?! ” She yelled out, and everyone immediately started laughing. Helga swore she thought that was his sister or something, and when she had said that to the rest of the table, everyone just laughed harder.

Stella had all of a sudden come from the hallway, noticing that no one knew she even had gotten up, and was holding the phone in her hand. “Helga, it’s for you.” She said calmly.

The guys were still chuckling a little as Helga got up, slipping her hand from Arnold’s. He swore it never felt this empty before, but something was also off about her hand, it felt colder than usual...

“Hello?” Helga said into the phone.

“Oh my gosh, where have you been, baby sister! I’ve been waiting for you to come home for a little while now!” The other line asked her. Olga. Olga Pataki. She should have guessed.

But when she fully comprehended what Olga had said, she had the urge to ask, “Just you? What about mom and dad?”

The other line went silent for a minute, and that was all Helga needed to know that her parents didn’t care where she was, that they weren’t concerned for her as much as she actually thought they were.

“Well, about that-”

“They haven’t noticed, have they?” Helga’s tone was flat, no emotion inside her whatsoever.

Olga really didn’t know what to say. She had never experienced the whole “My parents don’t care” kind of deal, and she knew that Helga hardly ever got attention from them, and yes they were really good parents to her at times when she was in fourth and fifth grade, but lately, well, no so much.

“No, Helga, I’m afraid not. But I’ll tell them you’ll be staying at Phoebe’s tonight if you want me to.” Olga knew that her parents never cared for Arnold too much, and she always knew that Helga’s liked Arnold almost all her life, and no way was she gonna ruin her chance.

“That’d be great, Olga. Tell them I’ll be back either tomorrow night or the morning after.” Helga told her sister, her voice almost sounded hurt.

“Sure thing, baby sis.” The two lines went silent once more for another minute, until Olga told her, “I love you, Helga.”

Her eyes went wide, her face shocked a bit. Even if she has said it to her a lot, it still made her jump a bit every time. But her face went into a soft look, almost like she looked tired, but sad.

“I love you too, Olga.” She hung up the phone, her eyes teary a bit. She couldn’t handle this in front of a bunch of people right now.

“E-excuse me, everyone.” She stuttered, her voice trembling a bit as she ran upstairs and locked herself in the bathroom. She didn’t want a bunch of men seeing her start crying, especially Arnold.

“Helga, wait!” Arnold yelled, but Stella stopped him before he went any further, placing her hand on his shoulder.

“She just needs to be alone for a bit, Arnold. I’d give her some space.” She told him. Arnold looked down at her plate, she ate all her eggs, but only half of her steak. He hasn't been this worried about her ever since she got memory loss from Arnold’s baseball. And his face became more worrisome, which made Stella hug him, as did Miles. And Arnold couldn’t help but hold on to Helga’s beanie tightly.

Meanwhile for Helga, she looked in the mirror. She thought about all the things that went on in her life. And the bad memories kept running through her head.

“I don’t want you seeing that football headed kid again!”

“Dad, he’s my friend!”

“FOR SOMEONE WHO’S “LOVED” HIM FOR 11 YEARS, HE CAN’T BE JUST A FRIEND TO YOU, HELGA!”

“Shut up, dad.” She whispered to herself.

“Mom, get up! You have to take me to school today. Dad’s gone, Olga left already, and the bus broke down this morning.”

“Oh oh, in a minute honey.”

“More like an hour, Miriam.” Helga whispered again, tears forming in her eyes.

“Don’t you do anything but sit in your room after you come home from school?”

“Only do my chores and my homework like I’m supposed to do, Bob .” Helga’s voice was trembling, tears were going down her cheeks quickly.

“You don’t try, Miriam! You’re supposed to be there for me when I need you!”

“I’m trying, Helga. I’m really trying!”

“If you were really trying,” she started telling herself. She leaned against the bathroom wall, curling up in a ball, her face red, her eyes welling up, tears rolling down her cheeks more until...

“Then you’d stop drinking so much by now.”

She started crying harder and harder.

Chapter Text

6:45pm. The Bathroom.

She kept crying harder and harder, and for some reason, the tears wouldn’t stop. Maybe she needed this? Maybe so much went through her head that she couldn’t handle all the stress. And she was only 14, she shouldn’t be feeling this, at least not until halfway through her freshman year of high school.

How long has it been? 10 minutes? 20? She didn’t know, and she didn’t care. All she wanted to do was be alone. Unless he showed up, and she honestly didn’t know if that’s what she really wanted right now. But one thing’s for sure: She did not want him seeing her crying.

But she had to come out of the bathroom sometime. This was the only bathroom in the boarding house after all. And people would start yelling about how badly they needed to go.

She finally stood up, wiping her eyes so that hopefully no more tears would come out, but they just kept flowing. She felt tired. Not mentally, but just from crying so much. Her eyes were puffy, her face was red and warm, she was a mess. And the worst part...she left her beanie downstairs. But she wouldn’t be surprised if Arnold had it with him.

She took a second and splashed some cold water on her face to cool herself off, fixing her bangs up a bit too, not really caring about the rest of her hair at the moment. She was thankful that she had a bag of clothes she brought with her before she went to the music shop earlier. She was gonna spend the night Phoebe’s, but got too excited about the CD and had to tell Arnold, and things got sidetracked then after.

There were lines under her eyes, she looked and felt tired. And when the thought of Arnold came to her, she wanted nothing more than to cuddle with him all night long. They were official after all. But when she also thought of him, her mind lingered back to the bet. But she also knew Arnold well, and knew that he most likely won’t hold him up for the deal.

She took a deep breath in, then out. And did it a couple more times before she was ready to come out. She didn’t want anyone asking her if she was okay, she just wanted to see Arnold. And knowing the football head, he’ll want to talk about it. Not just the scene that happened, but her eating thing too. Though she wasn’t really in the mood to talk about it, she had to tell him the truth sometime.

Finally, she opened the bathroom door. She kept feeling so many emotions just wanting to burst out once more. But she kept her cool, and proceeded to walk to Arnold’s room. Before she walked in, she could hear talking to himself, and when she peaked in, he was looking at the locket she gave him earlier, and holding her beanie. Did the little Football Head really care that much?

“Helga, whatever’s happening, I wish I could figure out a way to help you, but I can’t help if I don’t know what exactly is going on with you. I’ll let you take all the time you need, but know I love you. And you mean a lot to me.”

Wow. He actually did care, and she hadn’t known how concerned he really was until now. He was holding her beanie for Pete’s sake. Did he care this much back in middle school too? Maybe she needed to start noticing him a bit more.

After stalking him, she finally walked into his room, shutting his door more quickly than she thought. Arnold immediately looked over as he placed his locket down and sat up on his bed. He didn’t walk over to her, he gave her the space she needed. At least, he thought she needed space, until she hugged him, resting her head on his own.

His eyes lit up, but he didn’t say anything to her, he just hugged her back, not too tight but not too loose. Just enough where it seemed as if he was gonna lose her. He rested his head on her chest, his love overtaking his worry, but still there in his mind. It was moments like these that he always wanted to have with her, except when she wasn’t feeling like crap.

He had so many questions for her, but he knew he shouldn’t push her. Like, what caused her to not eat as much as she needs to? What’s been going on in her family? Was she doing anything else that isn't healthy for her? But before he could even say anything, Helga told him in a low tone of voice, “You won, Football Head.”

He knew exactly what she was talking about, but Helga should know him well by now that he wasn’t going to hold his end of the deal when she clearly wasn’t feeling well. But before he got another chance to speak, Helga told him, “But, if I know you well, and I do, you won’t do it.”

He smiled, and she felt him smile against her chest. She had finally leaned her head up, and once Arnold did the same, he got a clear view on how tired she really looked. He had never felt more bad than he has with any past events before. And it was like Helga wouldn’t let him do anything, because as he was about to give her another hug, she placed her hands on his cheeks, kissing him on the forehead.

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one comforting you?” He asked, giving her a little smirk.

“Yeah, well, I just can’t help myself, Arnoldo.” She told him softly, now starting to play with his cornflour like hair.

She then saw the look of worry on his face, and it was before then that he asked her, the question of all questions anyone would ask anyone, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Helga hesitated for a moment. Did she wanna talk about it? Did she really wanna just let out all her feelings to this boy? The boy she’s been hopelessly in love with since she was 3 years old? Absolutely. But right now? She didn’t know exactly, but she knew telling him the truth was the right thing to do.

She stopped playing with his hair, and sat next to him on the bed sitting criss-cross. She was playing with her thumbs to keep herself occupied. The room had stayed quiet for a good minute, Arnold being patient and waiting for her whenever she was ready. He really was a kind soul. She didn’t deserve someone like him. Let alone him at all.

She took another deep breath in, then let it out. She felt nervous, but she really did wanna talk about this with him. Arnold was about one of the only people she could actually talk to. Other than her therapist. But she trusted Arnold way more than her, and not just because she’s known Arnold longer. But the fact that she and him had gotten so much closer throughout middle school made her want to tell him things.

“It started around the beginning of seventh grade. My dad’s beeper company was all of a sudden going into business more than it ever had been. Beepers were selling like crazy, and his job got the best of him. Not spending as much time with me as he did before, and neither with mom. But when Olga came around, it was always as if he just shoved everything out of his way and let her and mom come into his light. But it always seemed to be like there was no room for me in that light that always shone towards him.

“Next comes Miriam. She’s been drinking so much lately, like more than she used to when we were in elementary school. And it’s so bad because it’s like, the only time she seems to really care about anything, is when Olga comes home. She doesn’t even greet me whenever I come home from school anymore, and she hasn’t since the beginning of 8th grade. It’s like, whenever either of my parents need to talk to me, it’s only if Bob needs help with his work, or if Miriam needs to run down to the store and grab things for her smoothies. And sometimes they’ll yell at me if I do something wrong. How about instead of getting mad for no reason, you calmly tell me what I did wrong, and let me fix the mistake?

“I tell you, it stresses me out so much, the two of them. I just haven’t been feeling good lately, and it’s causing me to feel bad about myself. Making me not want to do a lot of things, especially eat. It’s like, I want meals, and I want food, but my brain tells me no. And I don’t want to avoid it, but whenever I see food or if someone offers me something, I don’t know, I just don’t want it. And it’s like I’m getting used to it. But when I smelled tonight's food, and when I was scarfing it down, in my mind it felt like I shouldn’t be doing that.

“I think next is Olga. Miss Perfect. Miss I Get Straight A’s. Miss I Give All The Attention To Mom And Dad...but not on purpose. I know she doesn’t do it on purpose, she just wants to impress them. But when I try to do that, they just shove me away like I’m nothing to them. I make straight A’s just as well as Olga, and they say nothing. She gets one A on something so simple, and yet Bob and Miriam shower their affection on her like it was the most important paper she ever wrote in her life.

“I don’t get it, Arnold. It stresses me out so much, and I don’t want to feel like this. And I just feel like it’s going to feel so much worse in high school. I’ve heard bad things about high school from Olga, and the truth is, I don’t think I’m fully ready for high school. I don’t wanna be this girl to be left behind by anyone, but yet I don’t want people giving me all the attention if I ever get popular.

“And you know what’s funny? I-I feel like I don’t deserve you. No matter how much I’ve pined over you and felt these amazing feelings for you, and how happy I am that we’re finally together now, I just don’t feel like I deserve you, after what I’ve done to you and how much I’ve acted towards you and your friends. Was I really that bad to you back then?”

Arnold, for once, was speechless. He always knew how to help people, but this? This was unimaginable. His worried expression on his face was not able to go away whatsoever, and all he wanted to do was hold her, hold her for all eternity. He wanted so badly to heal her from everything she was going through. He never knew anyone who went through what she did. But all he could do was hug her, as tears in his eyes welled up.

Helga dug her head into his shoulder, her own tears flowing down her cheeks like they did before. She knew that it’d be hard to hold in her mentions at this point. She swore to herself that she would never let Arnold see her cry, and though he technically hasn’t seen it yet, he most likely will in the next few seconds. But until then, as she had her arms wrapped around him, all he could think about was her messed up brain, and Arnold smelling absolutely amazing.

He finally held his head up, and just as she knew it, he saw her crying for the first time ever. Lines under her eyes as they were puffy, her face and ears red, tried tears on her cheeks. She didn’t wanna look like this, especially not in front of him. But when he put his hands on her cheeks anyway, she wondered why. Why care for her? After all she’s done to him, even though it was just because she was hiding her true feelings for him?

“Helga. I want you to look at me.” His voice was soft, but he was serious too. She’s never seen him that way, because his voice was shaky when he said that. And she noticed it immediately.

“You are the most amazing girl I have ever met, and I’m sorry that your parents don’t give you the treatment that you deserve. You’re so smart and you’ve changed so much. Not just on the outside, but the inside too. You’re more than what people give to you, and you mean more to a lot of people than anything. You mean more to me than anything. You know that I started to have a crush on you in San Lorenzo. And I’ve loved you for a long time without noticing it myself. You make me want to spend the most amount of time with you as possible because you deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated. When I introduced you to everyone tonight, they all liked you not just because you knew me, but because they wanted to get to know you. That’s how they are.

“Helga, I love you so much, and I just want you to know that. I’ll care for you, do things for you if I need or want to, love you, listen to you, care for you. And those things I do and will do because I do care for you, maybe not as much as some people, but I do care, Helga. W-with your eating thing, I think it’s an eating disorder. I looked up some signs for it before you came out, and a couple I found that you told me was that two common signs were an upset stomach and lack of interest in eating.

“Helga, I promise to help you with that no matter how long it’ll take. Even if it takes a long time, I promise we’ll get through this together. You’re not leaving my side till we do.” He chuckled, but the tears kept rolling down his cheeks. With his voice hoarse, he continued, “Helga, I-I don’t want you to feel like this. I truly promise that I’ll help no matter what, because I love you more than anything.”

His smile had to be the most sweetest, but hurt, smile Helga's ever seen. The tears on her cheeks had stopped a bit ago, until Arnold’s smile came upon his face, and she couldn’t help but kiss him after what he said. His promises were something he always kept, never broken once, no matter what it was.

Her hands were on his warm cheeks, she felt his tears come onto her fingers, but she didn’t care, not now. She had never experienced anything like this with anyone, not even Olga. She had opened up to her from time to time, but nothing like what she explained to Arnold. At least she could say that her sister cared more than her parents, she did call to make sure she was okay after all.

Helga broke apart from the kiss, she looked into his beautiful eyes full of tears, she’s never seen Arnold so upset, especially about her. Her hand still placed on his cheeks, she couldn’t help but keep them on there, rubbing away the tears flowing down. And she couldn’t help but give him a soft look of love plastered on her face.

“Arnold, don’t cry. I’m the one going through this shit after all.” She smiled warmly. She felt so exhausted.

Arnold couldn’t help but chuckle at what she said, and rubbed his eyes to keep his eyes from welling up again, but it didn’t work out too well.

He chuckled again, but it was less sounding happy than it was the first time. “Sorry, I-I can’t help it.” He was about to mention her parents, but that probably wasn’t a good idea.

She kissed him on the cheek, and she didn’t realize how warm his face could get after he cried. She never felt him so warm before. “So, if I stayed here for 2 nights instead of one, would Miles and Stella be okay with that?” She asked, trying to form a smirk on her face, but instead gave him a warm smile.

“I mean, I don’t see why not.” Arnold admitted.

“Good, because I didn’t bring 2 pairs of clothes for nothing.” They both chuckled at her comment. And Arnold realized she was looking down at the box of vinyl albums.

She sighed, wiping her own tears away from her eyes and cheeks, then moved herself down to the box. She looked through it again. AC/DC, Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Metallica, his dad had all the good ones. When she came across Van Halen, she realized he had only gotten all the ones up until 1984.

And she knew why too. David Lee Roth was the singer for all the albums up until Van Halen’s 1984 album. The next year, Van Halen kicked him out, and Sammy Hager replaced David. She guessed that David was just a bit better.

“Which one do you wanna listen to?” Arnold asked her from behind.

“I have no idea. Your dad bought some amazing albums.” She admitted.

“Well, how about AC/DC? I could go for them right now.” He asked her. He was so sweet. Everyone did this, but Arnold asking her if she wanted to listen to them too just felt different.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind.” Helga said, giving him a warm smile.

He took out Let There Be Rock, and placed the record in his record player. His was special because it could automatically flip it around without him having to do it himself.

Once he did that, he took his remote and dimmed his lights so that it was the perfect amount of lighting in his room for him and Helga to relax.

Arnold went to his bed and leaned against his pillows, as Helga leaned her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was only 7:30, but she was so tired. She hadn’t felt this tired before. She could sleep just like this, and when she would wake up, she knew it wouldn’t be a dream. She knew this was all real. She just didn’t want to leave it in 2 days.

It was pouring outside. The music played from the record player, the rain was tapping on the windows, the lights were dimmed to the perfect setting. Arnold was having trouble keeping himself awake, but he really wanted to keep playing with Helga’s hair. He hadn’t realized how soft it was. And it looked like it made Helga seem calm, so he kept doing it until he fell asleep with one hand on her hair, and the other wrapped around her.

And no matter what, Arnold will help Helga. After all, he always keeps his promises.

WILDFLOWER, Billie Eilish, 2024

Chapter Text

Wednesday, August 24th, 2005.

7:30am Arnold’s bedroom.

Arnold Shortman, tired from hardly getting any sleep at all last night. What a coincidence, assuming that it’s his very first day of high school.

It wasn’t because he was nervous about going to a new school building, it was because he kept having nightmares about Lasombra. About how he lost the Corizon, and he was never able to wake his parents up from the sleeping sickness. The nightmares kept going on and on, and he only had gotten about an hour of sleep.

And was it weird that all he wanted to do was hug Helga and only hear her heartbeat, falling asleep on her rising and falling chest? Because it can’t be that weird. In fact it’s what he’s been wanting to do with her even before they started going out. The thought of her always made him swoon in every possible way.

Arnold finally got up from his bed, rubbing his eyes from his sleepiness. He never felt so tired before, and yet he just wanted to fall back on his bed and “rest his eyes” as they say.

He got dressed in his usual fit, grabbing his breakfast as he grabbed his backpack and went out the front door to his normal bus stop. Gerald had been waiting for him by his front door at least for a few minutes.

“Woah man, you do not look okay? Did you get enough sleep last night?” Gerald asked concerningly as they started walking.

“Unfortunately no. I kept having these nightmares about Lasombra last night, and I don’t even get why. That was over 3 years ago!” Arnold said slightly angrily. Whenever he was this tired he got angry very easily, which didn’t happen often since he always got a full night's sleep.

As the two kept talking as they waited at the bus stop, the bus had finally come by. Arnold felt like he was waiting so long he felt like falling asleep at the bus stop. There were lines under his eyes, he kept yawning constantly, but he knew he couldn’t fall asleep in his classes, but he could fall asleep on the bus at least.

The boys had gotten on and they were one of the only few people on. The only others who were on the bus before them were Helga, Phoebe, Eugene and Curly. And thank goodness Helga was on before him, because he needed a shoulder to lean on badly.

Once Helga saw Arnold her face immediately went to concern; even she had never seen him this tired before. She scooted against the window to make room for her boyfriend as he yawned for a good few seconds. “Good morning, Helga.” Arnold told her in a very tiring tone. 

“Uhm, Arnold? Are you okay? You don’t sound too good.” Helga asked, putting her arm around his shoulder.

He stretched his arms as he gave out another yawn. “I’m just super tired. I hardly got any sleep last night because of nightmares of Lasombra.” His eyes kept closing and opening multiple times, until he finally laid his head on Helga’s shoulder, closing his eyes permanently.

She suddenly blushed, swallowing nervously, until she remembered that there wasn’t really anything to be nervous about. They’ve been dating for over 2 months after all.

“Arnold, I told you. Lasombra is dead now. Your parents are saved because of my locket. All the Green Eyes are cured from the sleeping sickness, and nothing bad has happened since then.” Helga explained calmly, until she realized that Arnold had fallen asleep on her.

“Arnold?” She asked, but no response. He really must’ve been exhausted from last night. And Helga couldn’t help but smile warmly at him, he was so cute when he fell asleep on her. She knew how much he really loved cuddling with her and she always swooned over him every time he fell asleep on her. Which was exactly what was happening right now.

But it wasn’t long after she had grabbed her MP3 player and headphones and put on South of Heaven by Slayer, keeping her arm around Arnold as she let him sleep. She knew he needed it, as she could tell from the lines under his eyes that he was exhausted. She smiled warmly at him and kissed him on the forehead. Then looked out the window as she listened to her music.

“Woah, did you guys see that?” A girl with black hair asked the boys sitting with her.

“Jee, I reckon I did see what you saw, Miss Rhonda, on account that you’re talking about Helga and Arnold back there.” The tall boy told Rhonda.

“Oooo, Helga and Arnold sitting in a tree! K I S S I N G!” The boy with a blue backwards cap said.

“Oh, be quiet, Harold. We all knew this day would come sometime, and now that it’s finally come, we HAVE to ask her about it. Of course Arnold as well. Asking them both individually of course.” Rhonda told them. She always had a theory the two would get together. After all, they had kept spending an enormous amount of time together during middle school.

“But why can’t we just ask them together, Miss Rhonda?” The tall boy asked her.

“Be cause , Stinky, we need to hear their individual opinions in case they both have different answers to our question.” Rhonda explained. 

Rhonda knew she had to get everyone together, And by everyone, she met the whole gang. The boys: Gerlad, Sid, Stinky, Harold, Curly, Eugene, and even Brainy. And then there's the girls: Nadine, Lila, Sheena, and Phoebe. Once she got all of the gang together, during transition time, they would be asked the question of the day.

Right before the bus had arrived, Helga rubbed Arnold’s arm gently and tried to wake him up. “Arnold. You gotta wake up, we’re almost at school.” Helga’s voice was so low, but soft. Arnold’s eyes slowly opened, and the first thing he saw was Helga’s beautiful smile. He felt her arm around him, and he just wanted to wrap his arms around her. But he knew he had to get up.

He took another yawn, and without even thinking, he randomly kissed her on the cheek. He was so tired that he only just wanted Helga, and when he stood up, he felt as if he was about to fall back down. And he almost did that exactly, except Helga quickly pushed him back up to stand properly.

He yawned again, he couldn’t help it being so tired. “Sorry, Helga. I’m just so exhausted.” Arnold explained, and Helga couldn’t really be mad at him. His nightmares had come every once in a while, she knew that, but this one seemed to do its worst on him.

“Aw, that’s okay, Football Head. I’m not mad or anything, I’m just concerned I guess.” She admitted.

“Don’t worry, Helga, I promise I’ll be okay.” He gave her a warm smile, which made her swoon over him once more.

After all the kids got off the bus, they proceeded to their first classes of the day. Helga and Arnold had a few classes together but not before lunch. Helga first had Biology while Arnold had Geometry. You could say that those two were the smartest in 8th grade, so they have gotten into good classes this year.

That morning after their first period, it was finally transition time. Which meant it was time for Rhonda and the gang for the question of the day.

Helga was at her locker collecting her things, they only had about 5 minutes until they had their next class to tend to, so they had to make this quick.

All the gang had come up to her locker right before the bell had rung, and she was definitely not expecting to see them all her that sudden. At least not till lunch. So she was very confused why they were just standing there.

“Uh, hey guys. I wasn’t planning to see all of you till lunch. What’s up?” She noticed that everyone was here. All of the gang. Other than Arnold, everyone was actually here.

“I’ll be the one asking the questions here, Pataki.” Rhonda told her, walking up closer to Helga.

“Yeahhh Helgaaa! Let Rhonda do all the talking!” Harold yelled at her, which made Rhonda give him a glare, on account that they only had a few minutes to do this, so she didn’t want to waste time.

“Alright, Helga, question of the day.” Rhonda told her flatly.

She shut her locker and kept hold of her things, along with her confused expression still on her face. “Uhm, okay. Shoot.”

“So we were all on the bus, just talking casually,” she started.

Oh, criminy, here it comes, Helga thought as she rolled her eyes.

“And we were wondering-”

“IF YOU AND ARNOLD ARE DATING!” Harold blabbed out, and people started looking right at them, thinking he was crazy.

“Harold! I wanted to be the one asking it!” Rhonda yelled at him.

“Sorry, Rhonda.”

“Oh criminy. Are you serious?” Helga asked, sounding like she had nothing to do with him, but which made Rhonda about to say something about literally seeing her kiss him on the forehead, but Helga then added, “Of course I’m dating him, you buffoons.”

Everyone in the group was oohing, ahing, gasping and whispering. Brainy, though, all of a sudden felt down when she actually admitted that they two were finally together.

“Wait, you two are together?” Harold asked, as if he didn’t believe in her.

“Doi, pink boy! Have you guys not noticed how much time we actually spent together during middle school? Y’all knew we’d get together eventually.” Helga explained to all of them.

It was then that they went silent for a total of 10 seconds before they started getting excited and asking her how they got together. Which made Helga feel very overwhelmed, assuming how they were all getting so close to her.

“Shove off, all of you! I’ll just tell you at lunch! Will that work out?” Helga asked, feeling angry only because they were all over her all of a sudden.

“Absolutely, Helga. And tell Arnold he has to eat with us too, okay?” Rhonda asked as she and the rest of the gang were heading to their classes.

“Arnold always eats with us, but whatever you say.” Helga said, walking to her class as well. Brainy started following because she and him had the same class next: History.

When both got in there, there was a substitute teacher. So they just did whatever they wanted to. It was the first day of school after all. Board games and coloring sheets were set out. But Helga had her MP3 player and her book for the entire time. And after about 20 minutes of reading her book, she got tapped on the shoulder by Brainy.

“Oh, hey Brainy. What’s up?” Helga asked.

Brainy couldn’t help but blush a bit, he didn’t remember Helga being this pretty. And she seemed so much nicer now. He’s liked her for quite some time now, but he kept feeling down when he remembered that she and Arnold were officially dating now.

Not to mention the fact that he almost spoke full sentences instead of one word after a wheeze, though he still wheezes.

“Uhm...you and Arnold...is it true?” He said after his wheezes.

“Wow, almost full sentences now. Impressive. But yeah, me and Arnold are officially together now. Have been since June. Which is why I’ve been going to his house a lot during the summer.” Helga told him.

“Ah...I see.” Brainy said. Helga couldn’t help but notice the sad look on him, and, unfortunately, she knew why he had that sad look on him.

She sighed, she couldn’t believe she had to give him the talk. “Look, Brainy.” She placed her hand on his shoulder as he looked up at her. “I know you’ve liked me since middle school, but you know I’ve loved Arnold for practically most of my life. It’s honestly really nice that you’ve liked me for that long before. No one would dare actually liking me. Well, other than Arnold’s creepy cousin.

“The point is that you have to move on. If you keep on liking me, then you’ll never be with someone who may even like you like that! You have to get over me at some point. But you know I’ve only liked Arnold. So, I’m sorry Brainy, but you’ve got to let me go.”

Brainy looked at Helga’s hand on his shoulder. She was right, it’s time to start looking for someone else to have a crush on. Sometimes he couldn’t deny the fact that she was pretty though, but it was time to move on from this silly crush he had on her.

“You’re right...I’m sorry...Helga.” He said between wheezes. She didn’t want to make him feel bad or anything, he just needed to understand.

“Oh, Brainy, it’s alright. It’s natural to have crushes on people, but you just have to get over me.”

“I know. Thank you...for telling me...this.”

“Anytime.” She patted his shoulder, then proceeded to read her book. Brainy was about to move seats to hopefully make a couple new friends, but had a good idea. He looked at Helga, tapped her shoulder, and told her, “One more time...for old time sakes?” He asked, pointing at his face.

Helga smirked, because she knew exactly what he was talking about. So she gave him a minute as she kept reading her book. She had just gotten to the interesting part, and a good part in her song.

Without looking, she punched him right in the face, like she did for the first time 11 years ago.

Chapter Text

12:30pm. The School Cafeteria.

Lunch time. Kids favorite time at school, about one of the only times where you didn’t have to go to class. All the tables were full of kids laughing and goofing off while eating their lunches. Weather packed from home or bought from the cafeteria. Lots of people had actually bought their food here on account of the cafeteria food actually not being as bad. This was high school after all.

The whole gang was at the table. All 14 of them have been eating together, ever since middle school. Harold was munching down on his foot long sub, while Stinky and Sid swapped pudding cups because they both had each other’s favorite flavors. Nadine and Rhonda were talking about fashion and bugs. Eugene, Brainy, Sheena, and Curly were talking about getting together playing foursquare after school. And finally, Lila, Gerald and Phoebe were waiting on two specific people that were the last to get to their table.

“I wonder where those two are.” Phoebe wondered. Helga had told her earlier how she wanted some time alone with Arnold, but it'd been a little while. Lunch started 10 minutes ago.

“I oh so wouldn’t mind going and looking for them.” Lila offered, and Gerald and Phoebe looked at each other, still not knowing how Arnold and Helga are around each other.

“Uhm, that’s okay, Lila. I think Helga needed to check up on Arnold. He’s been tired all day today.” Gerald explained to her, though he knew Arnold wouldn’t want him to go into specific details, so he left it at that.

“Oh my. Is he feeling okay?” Lila asked, concerned.

“As long as Helga’s around him he should be fine, if you know what I mean.” Gerald started to laugh as he elbowed Phoebe gently, which made her start laughing because she knew what he meant. Though Lila did get the joke, she wasn’t laughing. She was too worried about Arnold, more than she normally would be.

Then, all three of them heard a, “Finally!” from Rhonda, as all of them saw Helga and Arnold approaching. Gerald assumed Helga would be doing most of the talking, because Arnold looked more exhausted than he did this morning. He really wasn’t doing good, was he?

“I’m going to get lunch real quick. Do you want me to get you anything?” Helga asked him concerningly, seeing how he put his arms together to lay his head down and closed his eyes. She knew how exhausted he was, but he couldn’t help it. He was just hoping he wouldn’t have any more nightmares for a while.

“I’ll be okay, Helga. You get what you need.” He told her in a soft, but tired tone.

“Arnold, you’ve hardly eaten today.” She lowered her voice as she sat next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t do what I’ve been doing for months. It’s important for you to eat. I’ll get you something small if you want.” He slightly opened his eyes, seeing her warm smile, and he knew she cared that much about him.

“If they have any pizza can you grab some?” Arnold asked softly, but gave her some of his lunch money so she wouldn’t have to pay for it herself. He knew she needed to eat too, and he didn’t want to waste her money just for him, though most girls did, he didn’t want her to do that just for food.

She smiled warmly, taking his money. “You got it, Arnoldo.” She told him, giving him a head pet, which messed his hair up a bit.

“Oh my, Arnold. Helga truly has shown her soft side towards you, hasn’t she?” Lila asked him, her heart beating a bit faster when she talked to him. What was happening?

“Yeah, she really has. I really like her when she’s like that.” Arnold admitted, a hint of pink appearing on his cheeks as he smiled warmly. And for some reason, Lila felt the tiniest bit of jealousy inside her. On one hand, she was glad Arnold had found someone to love. But on the other hand, she kind of wished he hadn't, but she didn’t know why.

“Alright man, spill. You and Helga? Is it true?” Sid asked him, Stinky, Harold, and Rhonda right near him. Even though they heard Helga’s side of the story, they needed proof from Arnold too. That’s what they talked about this morning after all.

“Hm? Oh yeah, it’s true, Sid. Helga’s my girlfriend.” Arnold admitted. Though he was tired, he still always told the truth without hesitation.

All four of them looked at each other like this was the very first time they heard this–even though this was only the second time they heard this. They all started cheering and high fiving each other. They went around telling the others at the table, and all of them cheered, except Gerald, Phoebe and Lila, who’s heard this more than twice already.

The four went up to Helga as she started coming back to the table with her and Arnold’s food. Rhonda happily put an arm around her and told her, “Oh, Helga, we’re just so proud of you. You and Arnold. We all knew it, you know.” As Sid grabbed Helga’s food, knowing she wanted to give Arnold’s food to him.

“Uh, what are you talking about?” Helga asked, having an idea of what they’re talking about, but needed clarification.

“You know what we’re talking about!” Harold yelled out. “You and Arnold! Remember? You were gonna talk about it during lunch!” 

“Harold’s right, Helga. I sure am excited to hear how you two actually got together!” Stinky admitted as Sid nodded his head fast.

Helga had never felt this weirded out before. Wouldn’t they have laughed at her for this? That would have made more since then actually being proud of her and Arnold. It made her insides feel weird, like she suddenly didn’t want to eat once again.

“Uh, wouldn’t you guys tease me about this?” Helga asked them, knowing that’s exactly what they would’ve done in elementary school. Because Harold did it in preschool as well.

“Well, yeah. In elementary school. But this is highschool, Helga. We all bet Eugene $10 that you two would get together before highschool started. And he bet us $10 that you two would get together after high school started. Now he owes all 11 of us $10. Plus with you two hanging around each other so much during middle school, we knew you guys would get together eventually.” Sid explained to her.

“Eugene’s gonna have to find a way to collect $110 quickly.” Stinky mentioned, which made all of them chuckle, even Helga a bit. But she felt better all of a sudden, they didn’t tease her about Arnold and her dating. They were actually glad to see it. She felt like she could be more of herself around them now.

The five of them sat down and they all looked towards the couple, but Lila mainly had her eyes focused on Arnold, which Helga saw, and wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of. But tried to ignore it for the best.

“So, Helga, tell us the fascinating story of how you two got together. I am very intrigued by you guy’s relationship.” Curly told her, and Rhonda had to give him one of her comments of course.

“Of course you’d be intrigued by their relationship, Curly.” Rhonda told him, and everyone at the table laughed, except Lila, who was overthinking about a lot of things...that mainly had to do with Arnold.

She told him a million times when they were younger that she didn’t like him like him. But was that all different now? She didn’t want it to be different, she should be happy for him, and she is. But at the same time, she didn't want Helga to be with him. She knew how she was in elementary school. She treated him badly at most times and she had a temper problem towards a lot of people. But she always noticed as she got older how kidney she treated Arnold with a lot of things, and how much time he spent more with her and less than Lila. And the main thing was that Lila knew about Helga’s crush on him, and she knew how much he fell harder for her.

When Helga got to a specific part of her story that Lila was hardly paying any attention to, she was definitely paying attention now. She was talking about how Arnold was the one who kissed her first up in her room and all of a sudden put an arm around him, who was clearly trying to nap a bit. She wouldn’t just do that to him if she were dating him.

But she also looked at Arnold, who clearly didn’t seem the mind as he rose his head up and laid it on Helga’s shoulder, which also made her look at Helga, seeing how she blushed at him with his sleepy face, making her swallow nervously, keeping her arm around him.

“Oh man, this lover boy, I tell ya! He’s so attached to you, Helga, I swear!” Gerald yelled out like it was obvious to no one.

He then continued, “I swear last year he kept talking to me about you and how he was nervous about how to ask you out because he was afraid you didn’t like him anymore.” Gerald chuckled along with everyone else, other than Lila, who kept thinking, If only that were true. But she also thought about why she would say such a thing, she wasn’t like that at all.

“Oh man, really? Gee, Football Head, you’re a real sap for me, aren’t you?” She asked a sleeping Arnold, which she was still blushing by the fact that she wasn’t used to this much affection. Even though she went over to his house many times.

“Mmm,” he hummed. Helga’s thumb started rubbing his shoulder, which made Lila’s jealousy rise a bit. She didn’t want to feel like this, but it was like the jealousy wouldn’t leave her body whatsoever.

And the more she kept talking and being sweet towards Arnold while he was sleeping, the more jealous she had gotten. She was always little Miss Perfect, but maybe it was time for a bit of a change.

“Okay that’s it! I can’t stand you hearing talk about Arnold all the time, Helga! It’s driving me nuts! I mean, I am happy for you guys, but you’re just swooning over him so much that it gets aggravating!”

Everyone at the table was silent, that was, until Helga spoke up. Arnold though? Helga loaned him her MP3 playing and was listening with one earbud in his ear, listening to Van Halen. He really needed this nap for the hour they had at lunch.

“Lila, what are you talking about?” She asked her calmly, unlike how Lila acted just a minute ago.

“Oh come on, Helga. You’ve been swooning over him since you were young. Everyone gets it! You love him! I don’t know why everyone is so interested in you two’s relationship anyway if they all knew you guys were gonna get together anyway.”

“They’re interested because we finally had the guts to actually go out with each other. Get it? Or do you need more information in that brain of yours in there?”

“Oh, there you go with your anger issues again, Helga.

“Oh criminy, your infurious saying about how I have anger issues.” She chuckled to herself before telling her, “I know I have anger issues, Lila.”

“Well maybe you should learn to control them when you’re around Arnold. He might not like it so much.” She told her confidently, making her sound like she had a point, which made everyone “Ohhh!”

“Firstly, he’s sleeping, and even listening to my music. And secondly, he’s told me about how it’s bothered him before. And I’ve been controlling it ever since we got together, but you were the one to trigger it.”

“You likely triggered it yourself.”

“Okay, what is with you, Lila? You’re acting completely immature!”

“You’d know so much about immaturity, wouldn’t you?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” She kept getting more angry, Lila had made her angry at times, but never this angry.

“The way you always spit spitballs at Arnold, the way you ordered Phoebe around when you guys were younger, the way you hired Stinky to be your pretend boyfriend just to make Arnold jealous. Come on, Helga! You’ve definitely had some major immaturity moments when we were younger.

“Well you’re being immature right now I should say. Literally standing up and yelling at me for no reason! Remember who started this conversation between the two of us? Yeah, you did. And let me just say this: I think you’re jealous of us two.”

All the kids at the table “Oooo!” again. While Lila was standing there, acting like she had no idea what Helga was talking about.

“W-what?”

“Come on, Lila! You wouldn’t be doing all this right now if you weren’t jealous of Arnold and I. And besides, you don’t even have a crush on him. And you don’t, do you?”

All the gang was looking directly at Lila, waiting patiently for her answer. This did not go as planned, she hated being the center of attention. She did not want to tell the truth in front of everyone. It would sound so weird to hear how Lila actually liked Arnold after he finally got a girlfriend.

“Of course not, Helga. Why would I like Arnold after I told him many times I didn’t like him like that? Plus I just kept getting tired of hearing you and Arnold being together and doing couples stuff.” Lila lied.

“Why? Is it because you don’t have a boyfriend yourself?” Helga asked calmly. And everyone reacted with “OHHH!” and “OH MY GOD!” with also the fact that they know that Lila could easily pull someone, but maybe not here lately.

“Of course not. I haven’t liked anyone in a long time. The stuff you talk about about you and your boyfriend is just getting old.”

“Lila, this has been the only time I’ve talked about this stuff with the gang. And it’s not like I’m gonna do it all the time, I’ll just give them updates individually, and report to the whole gang all at once if things are either in trouble or get really serious between us.” Helga explained to her, and Lila was actually quite impressed with her detailed idea.

“Oh, well that’s nice, Helga.” She sat back down, crossing her legs as she grabbed her favorite book and started reading, ignoring the rest of the conversation in the group.

Helga, on the other hand, had a confused expression on her face, thinking to herself, What the hell was that all about? But as she thought that, she looked at sleepy Arnold. Still listening to her music, she put in the other earbud to hear what song he was listening to. Women in Love... by Van Halen. Such a good song.

As she kept her arm over his shoulder, she couldn’t help but smile warmly towards him, and it made her kiss him on the cheek, which made Arnold wake up dazedly. He was so cute when he was sleepy.

“Mmm, Helga? Is it time to go yet?” He asked sleepily.

She couldn’t help as the warm smile on her face grew a bit wider. She thought to herself, Contain yourself, Helga. Swoon over how cute he is later. Oh Arnold, you truly are the one for me! Be still my beating heart!

“N-no, Arnold. We still have a little while. You can keep sleeping.” Her blush grew brighter on her face, as Lila’s jealousy grew more inside her. She kept watching them, and Phoebe noticed it immediately.

Arnold laid his head back down on her shoulder, but before he fell back asleep, he used the strength of his right arm and took Helga’s arm off his shoulder, and instead placed it right on Helga’s lap, just so Arnold could interlock his hand with hers. It’s what he’s been wanting to do, but he enjoyed Helga’s embrace.

Helga’s had hearts in her eyes, Arnold really was cute when he was like this. She hated the fact that he didn’t sleep last night, but she couldn’t contain her love for him, not containing her smile, and how the blush stayed the color it was, though now all over her cheeks, and her ears even.

She stayed in love until she saw the whole gang stare at the two of them. And once she saw them, all of them at the same time went “AWWW!” Especially Rhonda. Helga thought she’d make posters about them. She could see it now. Of course, she thought of that in a dramatic way.

“Back off, you buffoons!” Helga yelled, and everyone started to laugh.

As everyone proceeded with their normal lunches and talking with each other, Rhonda walked up to Helga and actually started talking about making posters of the two of them, and Helga was trying to not let the idea get into her head.

Meanwhile, Lila kept staring at Arnold. Sleeping peacefully on Helga’s shoulder. Her eyes peeking from her book, a hint of blush on her cheeks, her mind only on that boy. Why did she have to have a crush on him? Why now? Why couldn’t have it been before he and Helga got together? She had to get rid of these feelings, and the only way to do that, was to tell Arnold how she really felt...

“Hey Pheebs?” Gerald whispered into his girlfriend’s ear.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me something. Lila’s definitely got a crush on Arnold, doesn’t she?”

She looked at the sleeping Arnold, then at Lila, carefully looking at her without her noticing of course, then whispered back to her boyfriend.

“Absolutely.”

Chapter Text

2:05pm. School.

After everyone kept bugging mainly Helga about her and Arnold’s relationship, lunch had finally gotten done, and everyone had gone to their classes. They had four periods each day, and the four periods would be different classes. They had what was called A and B days.

Everyone was now in their third period, and Helga’s was none other than science. The subject she never really cared for too much, but would just draw little doodles in class and think about Arnold all the time. It was nice to just relax and do those little “get to know you” work sheets. First days of school were always the worst days of school, as Gerald liked to call it, and Helga absolutely agreed, but sometimes they weren’t all that bad.

The only bad part about going to high school is that you would get bullied mainly by the sophomores, and everyone in the gang knew exactly who those sophomores were: Wolfgang and his gang.

She hated when they always challenged them to a football game, or when they got trashed on trash can day, or when they had the time to actually bully you, and Principal Wartz hardly did anything about it because he was always in his office. It was the worst time for them when they were fourth graders. But high school bullying is much worse than elementary school bullying.

In high school they shove you in lockers, beat you up for your lunch money, chuck their school lunch at you, call you more names than they ever would, and maybe even more than that. Luckily Helga could actually stand up for herself, unlike Eugene or Curly or someone like those two. And she couldn’t imagine Arnold in that kind of situation. She knew he could handle himself, but Wolfgang had gotten a lot stronger now than he was in fifth grade.

Earlier she literally saw Wolfgang give Eugene a black eye just to get his lunch money, but she didn’t want to interfere with Wolfgang. She swore to herself that she wouldn’t interact with him unless she was getting bullied by him or if Arnold was getting bullied by him.

Now that science was over, she had a five minute transition. Perfect time to get her things and head to her last class: Art. She had gotten into a lot of the artsy things in middle school, and her and Arnold thought it’d be a great class. So they signed up for it together, and they both got it for the end of the day class.

She got to her class and found it a surprise that Arnold wasn’t there yet, assuming his third class period was closer to art than Helga’s. So she excused herself to the bathroom to find Arnold, and wouldn’t you know it, he was getting bullied by Wolfgang. WAIT WHAT? She thought.

Arnold? Getting bullied? On the first day? That seemed about right except for the person Wolfgang was bullying. Didn’t he wanna bully some other kid? Like Curly? Or even Brainy? No offense to either of them. It was one thing that Arnold wasn’t used to this, it was another thing that Arnold was extremely tired and had half a mind of what was going on. So Helga hid behind a wall and peaked in to see what they were talking about.

“Alright, Football Head, you owe me money.” Wolfgang reminded him, but what did Arnold owe him for? She hasn’t seen them talk to each other for a long time.

Arnold was too tired to even care at this point, and for a boy who hardly ever cursed in his life, he was pissed off so much that he did anyway. “What the hell are you talking about, Wolfgang?”

“Ooooh! Cursing now, are we? The good little boy is using cuss words to get his way! Haha!” Wolfgang and his group of friends started to laugh at him, but Arnold kept his serious, yet exhausted, face right on him. And Helga, not for the first time, was blushing hard when she saw how attractive he really was, which made her swallow nervously.

“You know we haven’t interacted or spoken to each other since we were in elementary school, so tell me, muscles. What, the fuck, do I owe you money for?” Arnold asked them, which made Helga realize that he actually had a full mind of knowing what was going on.

“He’s cursing you out, Wolfgang. What’chu gonna do about it?” One of his friends asked him as he laughed. Which made Wolfgang just shove him off.

“Listen, Hairboy, I oughta punch you right now for not bringing me my lunch money.”

“Oh so I didn’t owe you money, but I needed to bring you money without you telling me? Yeah what a great way of bullying me about this, real smart for a sophomore, isn’t it?” Arnold asked him, giving a devious smirk on his face, which did not satisfy him whatsoever.

Arnold, you are so attractive right now but do you want to get yourself killed? Helga asked herself in her head.

“Alright smart guy, you’re really gonna get it now!” Wolfgang yelled at him, holding up his fist that aimed directly for his face. Luckily his only companion that was with him just got shoved into a trash can, and this was the perfect time Helga could step in to help Arnold.

“Put him down. Or else.”

The two boys turned to see Helga G. Pataki standing there, arms folded, Arnold’s flannel tied around her waist. Arnold had mixed emotions about her being her. On one hand he was happy to see she was going to help him because he kinda needed it, but on the other hand he didn’t want her to get hurt just because she felt the need to save him.

“I said, put him down. Or else.” She repeated herself. Now it was Arnold’s turn to blush, seeing how attractive she could.

“And what are you gonna do if I don’t put him down, pigtails?”

That nickname. Arnold knew that Wolfgang had gone a bit far on that, because he knew Helga hated being called Pigtails.

She kept a straight face, her eyes looking down at him, then right back up. And that’s when she started to walk up closer to him. She was pissed off at him, only she didn’t show it, she was good at hiding her emotions, a little too good though.

She leaned against the lockers, her arms crossed, face straight, Wolfgang’s fist still right in front of Arnold’s face. He’s dying to punch him right now, but Helga wouldn’t just let anybody punch anyone, especially on the first day of school, and especially her boyfriend.

“I’m gonna tell you this one more time, muscles. You put him down, or else.”

“You say or else, but it doesn’t really have any effect on me if I don’t even know what you’re gonna say after or else.”

“Oh, smart one, eh? Well, if you don’t put my boyfriend down, I will be forced to tell the principal on you. And if you don’t stop, I’ll call the police on you/ Considering how bad you would hurt him, they would most likely put you in jail, making you eat disgusting shit in there, sharing one bathroom with who knows how many people. And you’ll be in there for who knows how fucking long.”

He just stared at her, only before he looked at Arnold, who gave a face at him that said “Don’t look at me.” Which made him look back at Helga. And judging by both their faces, Helga was serious about this, and Wolfgang did not want to do jail time, not after last time when he stole something from the store downtown.

He put his fist down, which made him put Arnold down as well. With both his hands he brushed off any dirt that was on Arnold, making a good scene in front of Helga, who still was absolutely pissed at him, but wasn’t showing it. Once he got done, he started to walk off until he yelled, “This isn’t over, Football Head. I’m gonna get you!”

“Not if I’m here.” Helga told him, putting an arm around Arnold’s shoulder.

He growled in frustration and proceeded to his next class, never even receiving the money.

I fucking hate him, Helga thought. But Wolfgang was the last person she wanted to have in mind. So she immediately turned to Arnold, placing her hands on his cheeks, caressing them, and asked him softly, “You okay, Football Head?”

He never felt more safe near her than he ever did before, because he knew that she cared about him more than anything when she checked up on him right after Wolfgang left. Hell, she would’ve smacked the shit out of him for her, but Arnold knew she had to play it cool, or else he probably would have had a black eye right now.

His eyes went soft as he looked at her, full of love they were, his smile was gentle, his cheeks were pink, his stomach full of butterflies, his arms begging to wrap around her waist for a hug, but he had to be calm about this, he could swoon over her later.

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay.” He finally replied.

She smiled warmly towards him, she always thought to herself that she didn’t deserve him, and she still thought about that, especially right now. She hated thinking this, but she knew it was true, at least to her it was.

She kissed him on the forehead and told him calmly, “Good.” But had the urge to ask him something important.

“Uhm, Arnold? Important question. How aware were you of the situation you were in?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m just saying, I know you’re super tired today, but you saw Wolfgang coming towards you with a literal iron fist, right?”

Arnold thought for a minute. He had no idea that Wolfgang was just gonna pick him right up and shove him against the lockers, but at the same time, he was too tired to comprehend exactly what was happening, and Helga was right, he was super tired. He told that to her and let her speak her opinion.

“Arnold, you do realize that was a dangerous position to be in, right? I mean, no offense to your strength, but Wolfgang is a lot stronger than you, and you probably wouldn’t be able to beat him in a fight even if you tried. You would have gotten hurt badly.” Helga told him in a worried tone.

Arnold thought it was cute that she worried about him, but now wasn’t the time to think about that. “Of course I realize that, I just didn’t exactly know what was going on!”

“I get that, Arnold, but you almost got beaten to a pulp because you were too tired to notice all the way. And you were too tired because of those nightmares you have! Do you see where I’m getting at with this?”

They both stayed silent for a moment. Arnold knew exactly what she was talking about, I mean of course he did, he always knew how smart she really was. And there was only one thing it could possibly be from these nightmares.

“Wait, I think I get why these nightmares are happening. Everything that happened in San Lorenzo, especially La Sombra was just, so much, to comprehend for me, I mean you know that. But it’s possible it’s now a traumatic moment for me, just replaying in my head.”

“That could be it. When people experience very stressful, frightening or even distressing events that are difficult to cope with or out of their control, it constantly plays in your mind, and even with your mind. I know it too well, I’ve lived it, Arnoldo.” Helga explained.

Arnold never thought he’d ever have traumatic moments like this, but maybe it was always meant to come one day. Lots of people must have at least one traumatic moment in their life.

“You’re right, Helga. It’s just been running through my head so much lately, and I hate the thought that it always comes to mind. I don’t want to keep thinking of how La Sombra died, or how if I didn’t save my parents from the sleeping sickness, or if La Sombra took me down with him-”

“Nope!” Helga yelled at him, covering his mouth with her hand. She couldn’t bare the thought of Arnold dying. “Don’t even think about saying it, Football Head. You don’t know how much it’d kill me if you were gone.”

“Of course I’d know Helga.” Arnold told her softly, yawning right after.

“No, Arnold. You really wouldn’t.” Helga couldn’t help but feel pity for all the actions that have caused her to bully him over the years, but yet to love him at the same time, to write poetry about him, spy on him, keep her locket for over a decade. Bullying him was absolutely an understatement, and she vowed not to do it towards him on purpose when they had gotten closer.

“I’ll tell you what, Arnold.” She started talking again. “Why don’t you come with me to therapy tomorrow? Dr. Bliss has always wanted to meet you since I used to talk about you a lot in elementary school. She also says that bringing a friend along with me at least one time is a good way to open up to them if I have something in my chest I need to get out to them.”

Arnold smirked, thinking of an idea to tease Helga. “Friend, huh?”

“Doi, you know what I mean, Football Head!”

“Maybe not. Why don’t you tell me the difference between me as your friend, and me as your boyfriend.”

“I’ll do you one better, I’ll show you the difference!”

He cocked an eyebrow, a bit confused by what she meant. Until she leaned in, not the most gentle, but just enough to give him a kiss on the lips, showing him exactly the difference in Arnold’s statement. His eyes remained open, almost about to return the kiss, until Helga broke apart from it.

She then grabbed her hand, starting to walk down the hall to their next class, which they did have last period together: Science.

“We’re going to therapy after school, and we’re not going to get a detention slip for skipping class just because we're kissing in the hallways, Football Head!”

Now that was the Helga he’s always known, he knew she couldn’t hold in a soft yet happy emotion towards him forever. Sometimes you have to be angry, especially if you were Helga G. Pataki. And when he kept thinking of her aggressive side, he couldn’t help but smile softly towards her, with his eyes full of love once more.

Chapter Text

Thursday, August 25th.

4:04pm. Dr. Bliss’s therapy space.

Helga and Arnold had gotten off the bus, with Helga telling the bus driver to drop her off at her normal therapy session, like she’s told him every Tuesday and Thursday since the fourth grade. But this would be a little different, since Arnold tagged along this time.

But she had a good reason to bring him along, this therapy session was more for him than Helga. Plus there was nothing really to discuss for her session, she already told Dr. Bliss everything about her eating habits and her parents, what more could there be?

Oh right, she doesn’t know she and Arnold are together now.

Would Helga really consider telling Dr. Bliss? She’s known that she’s liked Arnold almost her whole life, but rarely talks about him anymore in her sessions. But she also knows Helga’s bringing him today, would that count as being obvious? Or would she think they’re just friends? That wouldn’t be the case; Helga knew Dr. Bliss was smarter than that.

Either way, she would probably have to tell her sometime soon. She did consider Dr. Bliss, somewhat, a friend to her. She’s helped her a lot these past 4 and a half years, especially what was going on in 7th and 8th grade. She’d probably come here more often now that she’s in high school. That’s what Helga predicts at least.

After both of them got off the bus, they finally were standing in front of the building where Arnold never thought he’d be today. He was a laid back kid, who always went to his grandfather if he ever had a problem. He’s told them and his parents about the situation he’s been in of course, but they couldn’t do much about it either.

So now here he was, standing in front of the building his girlfriend went to every Tuesday and Thursday, about to have his very first therapy session with his girlfriend’s therapist.

“You nervous?” She asked him, even though when she looked at his expression, for the first time, she couldn’t exactly tell what he was feeling.

He looked over to her, but looked right back at the tall building. He didn’t know what to feel. He was going to talk to someone he absolutely didn’t know about what’s been going on with him. Sure he knew that Dr. Bliss could help a lot, but was he able to trust her, is the question.

Finally, he answered her. “A little, yeah. But I also feel a bit uncomfortable.” He admitted.

“Uncomfortable?” She asked him confusingly.

“Yeah. Like she sounds like a nice person from what you’ve told me, but how can I really trust her?”

“Arnold, you’ve met a bunch of people around the city and been able to trust them. Dr. Bliss is a very trustworthy person, and I promise she’ll help you a whole bunch.”

He looked back at the building. He knew Helga was right, not just about Dr. Bliss, but about him being able to trust anyone, no matter the situation. That’s who Arnold was, and when he trusted them, they trusted him back.

“You’re right, I think I’m just overthinking things.”

“I think once you talk to Dr. Bliss, you’ll feel a lot better.” She checked the time, and saw they were a bit early, but waiting would do them some good. She took Arnold’s hand and started to drag him along. “Now let’s go inside.”

He took a deep breath and started walking with her, until he said, “For your sake, Helga, I hope you’re right.”

4:30pm

Arnold’s POV

“Helga Pataki and Arnold Shortman? Dr. Bliss will see you now.” Said the lady at the counter. She was filing some kind of paperwork, it had to be for the patients who came to see Dr. Bliss.

Helga stood up as I was overthinking things. I had wondered if I was stressing out about this, or just about the nightmares I’ve been getting.

The reason I’m even here is because I’ve been getting nightmares at least once a month for the past 3 years, and I hate it so much.

The nightmares are about San Lorenzo. And it’s the same dream: What if I had never saved my parents? Then the green eyes wouldn’t have been saved from La Sombra, which means that he would’ve won if he hadn’t fell off that cliff, and that the green eyes would be in grave danger.

“Arnold? You just gonna sit there or do you want this therapy session?” Helga asked as she crossed her arms.

Helga Pataki. My beautiful girlfriend. I’ve honestly loved her since the eighth grade, but we didn’t start going out until after the last day of middle school. I think it took me a little while to realize how much I liked her. I started developing feelings in the seventh grade, but then after a while, I truly did love her. Not only for her actions and how she treated me, but because she was just Helga. She was being herself, and we had gotten so much closer in middle school that my feelings for her just became stronger.

I looked up at her, giving her a face that pretty much said are you serious right now? 

“Well you were the one that suggested I’d do this.” I told her, sounding like a smart mouth.

“Very funny, Arnaldo. Let’s just go ahead and go in, I don’t want her to think we’re late.”

I followed Helga to the door that had “Dr. Bliss” written on it. When I walked inside the room I imagined was bigger than I expected it to be. There were lots of bookshelves, meaning that she liked to read apparently—something I didn’t have in common with anyone. There were huge windows looking out into the city, and then the normal kind of couch where the patients lay down on and the therapist asks them the personal questions. What joy.

I looked at Helga, expecting her to have a miserable face. That was, until I forgot that she’s been coming here for 3 years. Normally I would’ve remembered that, but I was overwhelmed by a lot of things at the moment.

She must have been close with Dr. Bliss. I remember how she told me how some of her therapy sessions had gone, and she told me that they all went super well, that she finally felt like she was getting the help that she needed. And I was super happy for her.

She had been going there mainly because of me at first, about her massive crush on me. But she’s been going here more because of her parents. That they’ve been fighting more these past couple years, and how Olga is still the center of attention, as she says. And it’s good that she’s talking about this with someone, and getting the proper help.

Because it’s helped her with her eating habit as well, or at least I hope it has.

“Nice to see you again, Helga. And you must be Arnold. It’s so nice to finally meet you. Helga’s told me a lot about you.” She stuck out her hand to shake with mine, which I happily took.

“She has, has she?” As I shook hands with Dr. Bliss, I gave Helga a playful smirk, which made her blush as she turned her head away.

“Don’t get any ideas, Arnoldo. It was back in the fourth grade!” She yelled, which made Dr. Bliss and I laugh.

“Whatever you say, Helga.”

“Please take a seat, you two.” She told us, pointing to the couch.

As we both sat down, she grabbed her pen and clipboard, taking a few notes about whatever it was she was writing about exactly.

I always thought therapists were quite interesting. The way they know exactly how to help you in your kind of situation you’re in, it’s like they’ve been through the exact same thing as you.

“So, Helga. Nothing to report about your parents or anything else that’s been going on in your life?”

Going on in her life. Helga’s told me that she hasn’t told Dr. Bliss that we were dating yet. And since she brought me here today, she would be smart enough to figure out that we’re dating, but we can never be too sure.

“No, my parents are still fighting as usual; nothing else stressful in my life. But there is one thing I do want to tell you.”

She raised her eyebrows, expecting her to continue speaking. Even setting her clipboard in her lap, like she knows how important this will be.

Helga took my hand and interlocked it with her own, showing her as a hint, but still continued to talk to her as Dr. Bliss waited passionately.

“Arnold and I had finally gotten together.” Helga admitted to her.

Finally? I thought to myself. How much has she told her about me? I wondered more.

“That’s wonderful, Helga! I figured you two would get together soon! How long has it been?” She asked curiously.

I noticed Helga was a little hesitant on the question, assuming we didn’t start going out just yesterday exactly.

“A couple months ago. June 10th actually.” Helga smiled, but it was a worried smile. Like Dr. Bliss would say something like, “Oh,” sounding disappointed or something. But I knew I was wrong when I heard what she actually said.

“Well, I’m glad you two finally started going out, it was about time you did.You told him how you felt, and now you two are just fully in love. I’m so proud of you, Helga.”

I saw her give the doctor a warm smile. I’ve seen that smile before. It was the same smile I saw her give her mother when she told her how proud she was for making straight A’s on her report card.

I could see how happy she really was before her parents started fighting more.

Friday, June 17th, 2005.

The Pataki Residents.

Helga’s POV

I was walking with Arnold back to my place from the record store. We were just window shopping since I was saving some money to buy some new CD’s.

And that was when I just stopped walking all of a sudden. A horrible reminder came to mind.

“Shit.”

Arnold looked back at me, wondering why I stopped walking with him all of a sudden.

“What is it, Helga?”

I didn’t even answer his question, I just ran past him until I got to my mailbox. Which was weird because I never checked the mail. I was searching for only one specific piece of mail: The official school report cards.

Arnold had finally caught up to me, being the slow poke as he is. And it was at the same time as I was staring at the piece of mail I held with my own two hands. The only piece of mail I was always scared of opening.

My grades weren’t exactly the best during middle school, since I was with Arnold a lot. But I had promised myself that I would improve on my grades this year, and I had even promised myself that I would do it for Arnold. Because I showed him my grades before, and he wasn’t exactly impressed.

Arnold stood there and I opened the letter. I was so nervous. I did focus a lot this year, I even kept myself away from Arnold at times so I could focus on other things in school, but that didn't mean I was gonna get good grades.

But I was wrong when I took the first peek at it.

“English, A+. Math, A+. History, A+. Science, A+. Physical ED, A+. And Music, A+! Arnold, I got straight A’s!” I was so excited, I honestly couldn’t contain it.

“That’s great, Helga!” He walked over and all of a sudden gave me a kiss on the cheek, having to use his tiptoes of course, he was still a bit shorter than me. But that didn’t stop me from looking at him in awe as I placed my hand on where he kissed me. “I’m proud of you, Helga.”

I smiled warmly at him, hearts in my eyes. My heart beating three times as fast. Oh be still my beating heart!

But no time to swoon, because I had to show my parents. As I ran with the report card in my hand, I sprung through the front door, seeing Miriam right there on the phone.

Arnold followed right behind me, and I could tell how in love he looked. He smiled softly at me, probably because he had never seen me this excited.

“Mom, mom! You will never believe this! Look at my report card!” I handed the paper to her, and she read aloud the same things I read outside. As I kept looking at her face, I don’t think I have ever seen her this impressed before.

“Wow, Helga. This is incredible. Straight A’s! I can tell you’ve really improved this year like you said you would. But I wasn’t expecting this! Helga, you’ve proved how smart you truly are, and I know you’re going to do great things some day. I’m so proud of you, honey.”

If my smile wasn’t big enough, I don’t know if I could make it any bigger. Hearing my mom say that to me was probably one of the most generous things she’s ever said to me. And I couldn’t help but hug her tightly.

“I love you, mom.”

But that was the last time I said that to her.

Bob had found out Arnold and I were going out, and wasn’t too pleased with it, considering all he’s done were good things, but was just never fond of him. And that meant he told Miriam. And while she was totally expecting, and Bob wasn’t, it caused them to argue until who knows when.

Present

Arnold’s POV

“Alrighty, let’s get to the reason we’re really here now, shall we?”

I had forgotten how overwhelmed I really was. I didn’t like it only because I had never felt this way before. Was I gonna feel like this more in high school? Will I constantly overthink things and have trouble with things in my life?

“Arnold, please explain why you’re here today.” Dr. Bliss told me.

I swallowed nervously, my heart was beating more rapidly than usual.  Was I even ready for this? I had no clue, but when I thought more and more, I felt Helga’s hand holding mine again. More this time it was for comfort.

I looked over at her and she smiled warmly at me, nodding her head as if saying, “You got this, Arnoldo.” Because that’s exactly what she would say out loud.

I took a deep breath and explained the whole situation to Dr. Bliss. The whole “having a nightmare once a month” thing. And what I predict, is that the first thing she’ll say is that I have trauma from that place.

As I kept talking about it more and more, my voice had been a bit shaky at times, but Helga had held hands with me the entire time, and had always squeezed it a bit tighter when she knew she needed to. I saw Dr. Bliss was writing a lot of notes on her clipboard, meaning this must be more serious than I thought.

We were finally done after about 15 minutes, and she set her clipboard down on her lap again, as she would do in a serious moment like this.

“Arnold, it’s clear to me that you have PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder.” Her tone was firm, and she sounded calm about this. But Helga and I? Not so much.

“PTSD?” I asked curiously.

“Yes. Your head is replaying images that you don’t want to see, but it just keeps doing it. It’s a reminder of your unconscious mind of the past. From what you’ve told me, I completely understand why this is happening. Your mind wants to keep thinking about how if you never got the chance to rescue your parents.

“It normally starts within 3 months from the traumatic event, and then it goes on until you do something about it. And the clues you’ve given me about this happening are exactly some of the symptoms of PTSD.”

Dr. Bliss continued to tell me about the situation, and gave me some tips on how to treat my PTSD. Like writing down the nightmares I have, since sometimes they’re different versions of the ones I have. And relax myself in any way I can. She even suggested I come see her for a couple months to check up on how I’m doing. Of course without Helga. So she set up new appointments for me on Mondays and Wednesdays. Which I was kind of upset about because now it was going to be harder to see Helga after school. But if this would help my PTSD, then so be it.

“Well would you look at the time, it’s already 5:30!” I guess I’ll see you two next week!” The doctor told us, putting the papers in our files. Well, she was going to make a file for me, she told me so.

We both waved goodbye and went out of the building to catch the next bus home. And for the first time in a while, I felt relieved.

“So, what did you think?” Helga asked curiously.

“I honestly don’t know. It was just...super helpful, and exactly what I needed.” I smiled at her, and she leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

“Good, I’m glad. I hate seeing you tired like that, you know? I’ve seen it too many times before.”

“I know you do, Helga. I know you do.”

Chapter Text

Wednesday, December 21st, 2005.

Downtown Hillwood.

Helga’s POV

Ah yes, winter break, the second favorite break of every kid's school year journey. Because they get 2 weeks off from school, and an extra day after New Year’s if they’re lucky.

There were kids snowboarding, ice skating, building snowmen, having snowball fights, you name it. But what was I,  Helga G. Pataki, doing exactly? Buying Christmas gifts for my family, and especially Arnold, my boyfriend.

Today was an extremely cold day. It was only 23 degrees out, with only a high of 37. I liked the cold, but not this cold. Last time it was this cold out I literally caught a cold for a week, and I absolutely hated it because of the fact that Olga was babying me the entire time she took care of me.

But from here until Saturday, I had to buy gifts, especially for Arnold, my beloved. Arnold had done so much for me, maybe too much, and times where I felt as if I didn’t even deserve it. But now it was time to return him the favor.

I still always thought that I didn’t deserve him. Especially since he was probably the nicest boy ever to exist. How could God create such an amazing boy like him? So amazingly cute, talented, friend to all, kind-hearted, and is just a helping hand. He was the most amazing boy in all of Hillwood, how could he go for someone like me? I always wondered.

But that didn’t matter, the point was that Arnold loved me for who I was now, not who I was before. And once the two of us had gotten together, I had vowed that I would change my ways towards him, especially being kinder and more gentle. But I still had to have some of my old personality in me.

I had finally reached the mall, and with my allowance saved up to around $400, I could buy my family and Arnold the greatest gifts ever. Of course I’d get my parents and Olga one or two things, but Arnold? No matter how much I pined for him, he deserved everything in the world.

But come to think of it, I don't exactly know what he wants.

Arnold was never the type to ask for too much, especially gift wise. But I had to figure out something to give him, otherwise it wouldn’t be a perfect Christmas for my love. I had the idea of getting him a couple CD’s as good gifts, and something else, something romantic.

As I walked around, I looked in the makeup aisle, mainly something for Olga, and found a few beauty products that weren’t too expensive and, knowing my sister, I knew she would like them. I spent about $10 on that, and went to look around more. That’s when I spotted a picture frame in another section, which gave me another idea for a present. So I bought that for about $2.50.

Next came Bob and Miriam. I had absolutely no idea what to get them. So I walked to the jewelry aisle and looked in there for something my mom could wear, until I saw a pearl necklace and matching earrings that maybe she would like. It’s the thought that counts, isn’t it?

And for Bob? She still had no clue. I wasn’t that close with him, especially not here lately. I’ve hardly spoken to him since he found out Arnold and I were dating. And I knew I had to make up with him someday, but that day wasn’t today.

I kept browsing around the mall until she found some things that screamed Arnold! but wasn’t too sure about them either. So I took another look closer at them. But when I thought I was done browsing around, I saw it.

A place where you could have your initials engraved on anything you wanted. Which was a coincidence, assuming that I had Arnold’s locket with me. I had to take it to get shined so it wouldn’t start rusting.

I rushed over there and had my money ready, it was only around $25, which wasn’t too bad, assuming I wanted it on Arnold’s locket. And I even picked out the words too. “I love you to the moon and back, Arnold.” It was perfect. And now I had to find actual gifts for him.

Which I did actually. Since Arnold didn’t have too many CD’s since he had his dad’s vinyl albums, I got him Fair Warning by Van Halen, No More Tears by Ozzy, and Nevermind by Nirvana. She wondered if she’ll get new CD’s for Christmas, I definitely needed some new ones.

I had spent not even half of my money, which was good, because it meant more gifts for Arnold. Though I also thought that I should use it for gifts for family, especially Bob since I couldn’t find anything for him. But in my book, Arnold came first. Which is the reason why he never left my mind. But the other thing that never left my mind was when almost every time she came in the door, I heard constant fighting from my parents.

I got to the front door of my house to find it was locked. Which was weird, assuming that it was open pretty much all the time. I placed a couple bags down and got the spare key from under the mat and unlocked the door, feeling odd about this because I wasn’t used to it.

And, oh, what do you know? Bob and Miriam are fighting again. Though I had my headphones in listening to System of a Down, so it wasn’t too bad. But what was bad was that Bob had called me to come to the kitchen and I didn’t hear one word.

I placed the bags in my closet so no one would see them, and went to lay down. I felt tired all of a sudden, physically and mentally. Arnold had been busy with his family for the past couple days, so I haven’t been able to see him. So I haven't had the chance to tell him that my eating disorder came back.

But the good thing about Arnold is that he got done with his therapy sessions by October, and he felt so much better afterwards. He hasn’t had one nightmare since September, and I felt so relieved for him, so happy for him.

Arnold. Arnold. That’s all that’s been on my mind lately. That loveable football headed god of mine. He came into my life and everything changed. I fell in love with him and everything changed. We started dating and everything changed. But it was for the better, and what relieved me the most was that he fell harder for me. And when I was daydreaming of kissing Arnold, it was more of french kissing than anything.

“HELGA!” Bob yelled, slamming my door wide open enough to make me jump for mercy.

“Criminy dad! Did you have to slam my door so hard?”

“Well I’ve called your name four stinkin’ times!”

I hadn’t even realized it. Was my music really that loud enough for me to block out the outside world around myself?

“Well, what do you need?” I asked with an attitude, but in a curious tone of voice as well.

“We have to get going, we’re picking Olga up from the airport.”

Oh. Right. Olga. Miss Precious of the family.

I got up and grabbed my MP3 player with me, replacing System with Van Halen 1. My most favorite Van Halen album ever, almost 28 years old. It was crazy how old some of these albums were.

Bob was not one for actually having conversations with me. Miriam, on the other hand, had actually tried to get along with me, though still ignored me at times, but has gotten so much better with her drinking problem. She had been sober for about a year and a half now, and I couldn’t be more proud of her.

I had on ripped skinny jeans with her black boots, pink and white striped shirt but had a gray hoodie on over it, wearing her mittens because my hands got cold easily, and put on my beanie that I haven’t worn ever since June.

It was before then that I was caught by surprise by Miriam placing a hand on my shoulder. She had asked me something but couldn’t hear because of my music. But to my mind, this was worth taking off my headphones to hear my mom actually try and communicate with me. “Sorry, mom, what was that? I couldn’t hear you.” I looked up at her.

“I asked how did the shopping go, honey?” Miriam repeated herself.

I couldn’t help but smile. It felt as if she checked up on me sometimes, which was nice. “It went well, though I couldn’t find anything for Bob.”

“That’s okay, Helga. I’m sure you’ll find something nice for your father. He’s a stubborn one, so I understand what you’re saying. Not to mention he’s hard to shop for as well.” It felt so nice to talk to Miriam. It was like mom and I had been like this since I was born, except our bonding didn’t really start until I started middle school, when I started talking about Arnold to her.

Bob was beeping the car horn telling us to hurry the fuck up. I couldn’t help but notice that the older I had gotten, the more Bob was cursing a lot more. Maybe now that I was old enough, I could hear these words in action, or something like that.

But to be completely honest, I didn’t want to say all these “fancy” cuss words. Though it may look like something I’d start doing, I didn’t want to become like my father. All he wanted me to do was run the Beeper Emporium while Olga was living her dreams in other places. What about my dreams? Did dad ever care about any of those?

I placed my headphones back in once I started hearing Miriam and Bob fight again. Listening to one of my favorite Van Halen songs, I’m the One.

As I listened to my song, I kept coming back to the thought of what I wanted for Christmas. There were only three things I wanted for Christmas, really. One, to see Arnold again. Two, some new CD’s. And three, for my parents to get that stupid divorce they keep talking about getting, even though I actually wasn’t supposed to hear about that.

6:56pm. The Airport.

We finally got to the airport and we waited for Olga to arrive, which felt like forever. Which was forever, assuming her plane was an hour late.

I hated the cold so much at that moment that I was practically shivering. That was, until Miriam was walking over with a steaming cup of hot cocoa in her hand, and handed it to me . I looked up at her in shock as Miriam explained.

“They had a hot cocoa stand right over there, and I saw you looked very cold, so I got you a cup to warm you up. Enjoy, honey.” Miriam told her, leaning down and placing a kiss on my forehead.

I looked at the cup of steaming hot cocoa and couldn’t help but smile warmly, replying with, “Thanks, mom.”

She smiled back, then walked over to her pissed off husband who was about to yell at a flight attendant, asking her why Olga’s plane hadn’t arrived yet. It was only supposed to be 3 and a half to 4 hours for her flight from where she lived in Alaska to Hillwood.

“The man can run a beeper emporium but he can’t figure out that the plane is delayed because of snow between Alaska and Washington? Lord, help us all.” I told myself, blowing some of the steam away from my cocoa. I then took a sip to see if it really tasted that good. “Oh, dang, this is good cocoa!” I told myself again.

“It most certainly is.” A voice replied to me, which made me look up, and see one of my most favorite people I would never want to leave her side.

“Pheebs! Hi!” I said, then patted a spot next to her, and both of us took a sip out of our refreshing cups of hot cocoa. That was, until Phoebe looked concerned for a second, and I knew exactly what she was about to ask.

“Uhm, why does your dad look like he’s about to have a fist fight with that flight attendant?” It was funny to me when she put it that way.

“We’re waiting on Olga’s plane to get here, and we’ve been stuck here for over an hour because her plane got delayed because of a snowstorm in part of Canada. I heard it on the radio when we first got in here, though Bob was too busy fighting with Miriam to even hear it.” I explained it to my best friend. Other than Arnold, I felt like I could talk to her about anything.

“That’s terrible for Olga. I hope she’s doing okay.” Phoebe knew not to talk about my parents fighting unless I really wanted to. And the only way Phoebe knew if Helga wanted to was if I mentioned it twice.

“Yeah, me too. I may hate her sometimes, but I couldn’t stand it if she got hurt in any way. She is my sister after all.” I told her, feeling a smile forming on my face. But I was curious about one thing. “Wait a minute, why are you here?”

“My family and I are flying out to Japan to visit some family for Christmas. If I find you a Christmas present, I’ll be sure to buy it just for you.” Phoebe told her as she took another sip of her drink.

“That’s thoughtful of you, Pheebs. And a gift from Japan would be pretty cool, but you really don’t have to get me anything. I don’t wanna ask for much.”

“Nonsense. You are the definition of my best friend. And while I am a good friend, I hope at least, I shall buy you a Christmas gift!” Phoebe demanded.

I couldn’t help but smile again. I’ve felt so down lately, but noticing Miriam’s effort on our relationship, and seeing Phoebe one more time possibly by the time school starts again, it cheered me up quite a bit.

Just then both of us heard Phoebe’s dad calling to her, which meant that she had to get going. “I’ll most likely be back on the 3rd.” Phoebe told me.

I placed my drink down and stood up to hug my best friend. “Wow. Phoebe Hyrendahl, missing a day of school. Who ever would’ve seen the day coming?” I joked with her, which made both of us laugh.

Phoebe looked at me straight in the eyes, and told me, “I hope things get better.” I knew exactly what she was referring to, and she knew when to actually say it, but didn’t. I was glad, but not, at the same time. And it made me just want to yell and cry my eyes out. Instead, I just hugged Phoebe one more time, for a good minute.

I let go of her, telling her, “I’ll miss you.” Not talking about what might be happening in the future.

She smiled warmly. “I’ll miss you, too, Helga.” She took her hands off my shoulders, which I didn’t even know were there to begin with. But I watched as Phoebe walked back to her parents, and waved another goodbye to her, seeing that she waved back.

I sat back down with my cocoa in the palms of my hands, still blowing the steam away from it. Watching as Bob fights with the flight attendant, Miriam actually trying to stop him.

It hurt me to watch them struggle like that, and if they were gonna sign those papers in the future, it was gonna hurt Olga more than anything.

Olga’s plane had finally arrived after an hour and a half of waiting. Once she came she ran to Bob and Miriam for their big welcome hugs as per usual. Then came to me and hugged me more gently than I expected, but feeling relieved that she wasn’t all over me. I’ve talked to her about that before, she must’ve remembered.

“It’s so nice to see you, again, baby sister! Oh how I’ve missed you!” Anddd there was the crushing hug that could seriously hurt someone one day. I literally had to tap on her arm to get her to stop.

She finally let go but immediately ran back to mom and dad, and dad told me to get my butt moving to the car (except he really didn’t say the word butt).

Olga sat real close to me with a bag of presents between her legs, which I had no idea why she sat so close to me. I’ve told her to let me have my personal space in the car. But does she listen? Sometimes, but not today apparently.

“Oh, dear baby sister, I’m just so excited to see the look on your face when you see what I got you!” She squealed, but I couldn’t hear her that much anyway. I had one of the headphone parts out of my left ear, but I still had the right one in.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll probably love it.” I told her, forcing a smile. Which made her squeal again.

We finally made it home, which is a good thing, I’ve got wrapping to do, and more present hunting. And the thing with that is that Olga will probably ask to tag along with me, and I honestly don’t know if I should or not. Probably so because it’s Christmas time, but still.

I was starting to head upstairs and told everyone if they needed me just knock on my door, but nooo, Bob had to start another argument. I swear it’s the only thing he’s good at at this point.

“Hey hey hey hey hey! You better get your ass down here and spend some time with this family!”

“I’m sorry, Bob. But I have presents to wrap, and I don’t need you scowling me all the time!”

“Who says I scowl at you? I’m just telling you to spend some quality time with your damn family here!”

“It’s not like they won’t be here tomorrow. May I remind you that we’re having Christmas, on Sunday. That’s family enough, isn’t it?”

“GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, NOW!”

“I SAID I HAVE PRESENTS TO WRAP. LEAVE ME ALONE BOB!”

“Uh, Helga, do you want something to eat at least? We have that leftover chili in the-”

“Not hungry. But thank you, mom.” I then slammed my door loud enough for Bob to hear. And I can’t believe I lied to my mom. I was starving, but I really didn’t feel like eating. I had more important things to focus on anyway.

“God whoever heard of not wanting to spend some time with your fucking family?” Bob asked himself as he walked to the living room, pulled up his favorite chair and placed it right in front of the TV where he could see the screen up close.

Olga and Miriam just looked at each other, they definitely weren’t expecting this. But I think they were more concerned about me, especially Miriam. She didn’t see me eat breakfast this morning, and she saw how I barely touched anything on my plate for lunch. And then I denied chili. I love chili! Especially mom’s homemade. But I really didn’t feel like eating after that.

I was tired of Bob yelling at me like that. I was tired of her yelling at Miriam like that. I was just tired. But I had to pull myself together. I’m Helga. G Pataki for christ sake! And it was no time to dilly dally.

I got off my bed and first went to go get a photo of Olga and I so I could put it in the picture frame for her. I know she’ll love this gift because she loves me, and she loves pictures. So how about a picture of both of us?

Next I snuck in Bob’s workspace and got his tape, scissors, and a pen, and asked mom for the tags and wrapping paper. After that, I got to work immediately and wrapped everyone’s gifts in only 30 minutes.

Arnold’s gifts were wrapped more beautifully than ever, because of course I wanted them to look perfect for him. He deserved it. And I wondered when I’ll be able to see him again. He hasn’t even contacted me in any way since the other day, which isn’t like him. But he might still be busy, I don’t know.

I brought all the gifts downstairs and was humming a song from Van Halen 1. I hadn’t felt this calm in quite a bit. But it wasn’t long until it got ruined, because I put the presents under the tree and he had the urge to ask what I was doing.

“What does it look like?” I’m placing presents under the tree.”

“Is there one for me? There better be one.” I couldn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth right now. He talked about family time yet he just asked if there were any presents for him, like he only cared about that instead of his family.

“Are you serious?”

“Well of course I am.”

“But you just asked that like it’s the only thing that matters on Christmas.”

“Isn’t that what you thought when you were nine?”

“Yes, nine, dad.”

“And what are you now, 12?”

He still doesn’t know my age, typical. “I’m 14, dad.”

“Criminy, when did you turn 14!?”

“9 months ago, Bob.” I kept my tone flat, but my words short. I wanted him to notice how angry I was at him. When I kept thinking about how I wanted to talk more with him again, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. And people would say, it’s better than not talking at all! No, people don’t understand. I’d rather not talk with him then have these stupid little arguments.

“Are you seriously going to start another one of these damn fights, Olga? I mean, criminy-”

“It’s Helga, dad.”

“Whatever. The point is, I should get a present under that tree from you if you didn’t even bother to get me one.”

“It’s not that, dad. I just don’t know what to get you!” Criminy, I raised my voice a little too high. Not that I’m scared of getting yelled at by Bob again, I needed to keep it calm, subtle.

I saw him go by the tree and, of course, he found the gifts for Arnold.

“Oh so you can get gifts for your little boyfriend, but not for your own father?”

No pun intended there, though I did want to laugh at that, but I had to keep a straight face. “Did you not hear what I just said? I don’t know what to get you.”

“I’ll tell you what I think of your boyfriend’s gifts!”

“Dad. Stop.”

I had forgotten to mention that one gift had the 3 CD’s in there, and the other was his locket with the new engraving written on it. Both could be broken easily, but the CD’s? Much easier.

Bob had the idea to try and step on them. So what did I do? I ran in a panic towards his shin and kicked it as hard as I could, using my quick reflexes to grab his presents before any damage was done to it.

I carefully inspected the presents as neither of them were scratched or dented one bit. I sighed in relief. Holding them tight in my arms. When, out of nowhere, Bob SLAPS me. On the face. So hard, you could already start seeing the big red handprint on my cheek.

My face was not only going to be swollen, but my eyes were about to be full of tears as well, and Miriam and Olga were about to run into the living room in about 5 seconds. Because I had gotten that strong urge to yell the first cuss word I ever said in front of my dad.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Just in time, Olga and mom were standing in front of us. Witnessing. One of them had to hear that slap. It was so loud for some reason that it just kept replaying over and over, making my head and ears hurt.

“I’M TEACHING YOU A LESSON, LITTLE LADY!”

“ABOUT NOT GETTING YOU A PRESENT? BECAUSE I TOLD YOU I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO GET YOU!”

He was about to snatch Arnold’s presents out of my hand again until Olga stepped in, and I saw him hesitate. Of course he wouldn’t want to hurt his favorite daughter.

“Don’t do it, daddy. Please.”

He was so angry I could tell he was about to slap Olga, that was till Miriam stepped in that I didn’t think it’d be any worse. But oh was I wrong. So wrong.

“B, you need to calm down and just go back to-”

He slapped her. He slapped his wife.

Both Olga and I could see the red handprint on her cheek now. I always told myself I needed to blow off some steam, but I never knew that this is what I meant by blowing off steam. Because him slapping my mother had gone too far. And I was now furious with him.

“THAT’S IT! YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME, BOB!”

I was so hungry, I was so furious. I was about to burst into tears because I was just so angry, because of this stupid slap mark on my face burned like hell, because my stomach was hurting from the lack of food, because I just missed Arnold...

“YOU WANT ANOTHER SLAP? HAHA! YOU’LL GET ONE!”

I couldn’t believe this was all happening. I never thought my own father, Bob Pataki, Beeper King, would go insane over me getting my boyfriend presents. I knew he was bound to snap eventually, but not like this. And I couldn’t help but yell at his face the truth I had seen myself to.

“WHAT I WANT, BOB, IS FOR YOU TO SIGN THAT DIVORCE PAPER!”

Did I go too far? I think so. Everyone’s faces were in shock. Mom and dad’s, most likely because they’re now trying to figure out how I even knew about that. And Olga? She had no idea about it. She was probably shocked by the fact that they would even get a divorce. But she couldn’t have been too surprised. With how they’ve been acting around me for the past couple years, especially with the constant fighting, I think it was time.

I was breathing heavily, my heart was pounding, my cheek throbbing with that slap mark. I felt shaky, but I didn’t care. I was the only one who had a (sorta) calm look on my face. Everyone else looked dazed and confused. Especially Bob. Good. Let him.

I wasn’t normally like this, but I was too full of emotions at the moment to even care right now. If he could just walk to his office without any question and get those papers, that’d be great. But knowing him he’s gonna ask: 

“How- how did you-”

“I heard you and mom talk about it in one of your arguments a couple months ago, and it hasn’t left my mind ever since. So, the million dollar question comes to play. Are you going to sign those papers, or not? Because I rather you do, so I don’t have to see you again. And I won’t have to feel another slap like that again, and neither will Miriam. Because we don’t deserve that, you know.”

He didn’t say anything. Instead he did what I thought he’d actually do. But when he started walking next to me, Olga immediately went in front of me and placed her hand on my stomach lightly to ensure my safety. Her reflexes were pretty incredible, and I was kind of taken by surprise when she did what she did. I knew that was what big sisters were for.

I gently walked over and put Arnold’s unharmed present’s back under the tree. Though I should probably take them to my room with me so that way Bob doesn’t do anything with them while I’m not looking.

I saw him coming back with the papers. It’s impressive how he has absolutely no expression on his face. Just a pen, the papers, and his arms crossed, waiting for mom to sign them with him.

They both read over the terms and agreements and what would happen with Olga and I, well mainly me. Olga’s 26, she’s an adult. It’s mainly what happens with me. But either way, both of us watched as this was really happening. And we were all silent the whole way through the process.

Olga placed her arm around my shoulder, and when I looked up at her, I saw a bit of tears in her eyes. And to be honest, the tears that were in my eyes before were coming back. Yes I was the one who yelled out at him about this, and I knew this day would come, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t hard watching them do it.

Finally, after about 20 minutes, it was done. Official. They placed those pens, and we both knew that they were done. Court wouldn’t be for another six months, but Bob was the one who had to move out of the place since Miriam was the one who bought this building.

“The contract says you have one month to get all your belongings and move out. Until that month is up, girls, we’re going to stay somewhere else till then. I just can’t be here right now.” Miriam explained to all of us.

Neither of us said anything. All it was that we had to pack the things up we wanted to bring with us for the month. After that we would come back here when Bob was done and fully moved out. And if I was being honest, I wouldn’t miss the place too much anyway.

Mom didn’t tell us where we’d be staying till she took us there, so it was just me, my stress, my curiosity, and my music. I was thinking more than I was looking out the window. I was just listening to Van Halen II. Of course I was happy Bob wasn’t living with us anymore, but I will admit it’ll be weird not having him around.

It was when my thoughts vanished as I saw where we were staying. And I should have known it earlier, but I still couldn’t believe it.

“Oh my gosh, baby sister! We’re gonna be staying here for a whole month! Don’t you just love it?” Olga said excitedly.

Well she was either already back to her old cheery self, or she was just trying to forget all of what happened.

“I don’t believe my eyes.” I told mom and Olga, sticking looking out the window.

“Girls, welcome to-”

I finished that sentence for her. “The Sunset Arms Boarding House.”

Chapter Text

6:24pm.

The Sunset Arms Boarding House.

I could not believe my eyes when I saw where they were moving. I should have guessed it was here. It was one of the only places where we could actually buy a place, even if it was only for a month.

“Oh, baby sister! This will be sooo interesting! Considering your boyfriend lives here!” Olga told me, which caused me to blush a bit. I always forget that Olga knew that Arnold and I were a thing now.

“Well, how about letting mom talk to Phil about actually moving here first.” I told her as I crossed my arms, still listening to my music. Van Halen is truly the best, at least I think so.

The three of us finally came out of the car and knocked on the door until someone answered. Thankfully, it was anyone but Arnold. It was Miles that had answered the door, and was taken by surprise when he saw it was us, but without Bob.

“Why hello, Mrs. Pataki. What can I help you three with today?” Miles asked politely. And it was when Stella came to the door, curious to see who was here. And she looked just as confused as her husband.

“Uhm, we need to talk to Phil about letting us stay here.” Miriam explained. Olga seemed as worried as a young kid would look when she was only 7 or something. But me? I still had my arms crossed with my headphones in. I had Van Halen II, South of Heaven by Slayer, and Paranoid by Black Sabbath with me, you know, for options.

Miles had finally gotten Phil and now he was confused by our situation. All of them wondered why we would want to buy a place at the boarding house, especially without Bob. But he allowed us inside anyway so they could talk professionally.

Phil, Miles and Stella sat on one couch as Miriam and Olga sat on the other couch, while I had to wait in the hallway. Luckily I couldn’t hear anything, but I was super hungry, and could go for something good to eat right now. But I knew I couldn’t just barge into their kitchen, not yet anyway.

“So, Mrs. Pataki, why do you want to buy the last room available in the boarding house? Unless, if the situation is too personal. But I will need at least some details.” Phil explained.

Miriam seemed very stressed out when she was about to talk about the situation she went through not even a few hours ago. Olga placed her hands on her mom’s. Which made her feel more comfortable.

She explained to Phil all about what happened earlier, and how she had gotten the red mark on her cheek, along with Helga, and everything Bob had said to her and had almost done.

It wasn’t until Phil realized that he might’ve asked for a little too much information, but at the same time he didn’t know the situation, and now would happily like to let the Patakis stay at the Boarding House as long as they like, which is exactly what he told the girls.

“Oh thank you so much, Phil. I don’t know how to ever repay you.” Miriam said with a bit of tears in her eyes.

“No need to repay me, Ms. Pataki. As I told you, you and your daughters may stay here as long as you three like. You will still have to pay rent of course, is all I really ask.” Phil told her.

“Yes yes, of course. That means I’m going to have to find a job quickly so I can pay the amount of rent needed.” She mainly told Olga.

“Don’t worry, mommy. I’ll help you find the right job for you. You’ll see!” Olga told her happily, and Miriam couldn’t help but smile warmly.

Meanwhile, I still couldn’t hear a thing, until I saw Olga and mom getting our luggage from the car, which was my cue to get all my stuff and throw it inside our new temporary home. And that’s exactly what I did.

The bedroom consists of one bunk bed and one queen size bed, perfect for all three of us, since I knew that Olga and I would be the ones getting the bunk bed, and I immediately called the top bunk, which was okay with her anyway.

I got all my sheets on there and some pictures hung up on the wall next to my pillow. Some pictures of me, mom and Olga and most of Arnold and I.

Speaking of Arnold, I haven’t seen him once since we came here.

I went downstairs to ask Miles and Stella if they’ve seen him anywhere. When I asked them, Miles told me that Arnold was spending the night at Gerald’s with a couple other of his friends tagging along as well. Well that was just great, now I couldn’t rant to him till he got back, but at least I could relax in his room. He never did mind me being in his room without him. Sure I go through his stuff sometimes because I’m madly in love with him, but that’s besides the point.

I was about to go in his room anyway, that was until Gertie called everyone for dinner. Oh wonderful, another family dinner. I just hope this doesn’t turn out just like the last time I ate dinner here.

Mom, Olga, and I came downstairs to already see everyone at the dinner table, waiting for us. There were four empty chairs. One of them must’ve been for Arnold. But why wouldn’t someone sit in it when he’s gone? Who knows. This family’s already weird as it is.

We got to the dinner table and I noticed that literally everyone was staring at us, especially Oskar, so I asked Miriam to sit next to Oskar because I told her of what happened last time I sat next to him. And since I wasn’t too comfortable here yet, I sat between her and Olga, even though I have been here before. If Arnold were here, I absolutely would’ve sat next to him.

Miles cleared his throat before making an announcement. “Everyone. I’m not sure if any of you have met these nice young ladies before, but this is the Pataki family. They’re going to be living with us for a little while.” He sounded confident saying it, like he likes us living here. It’s nice to actually see that in him. Unlike my dad.

He continued as he pointed to all three of us. “This is Olga, Helga’s older sister. Miriam, their mother. And, of course, you’ve all met Helga.” Wow, he reintroduced me. That’s a first from anyone. And with that, I awkwardly told everyone hi.

Everyone started conversations with each other. Mr. Hyunh started talking to Olga, it must’ve made him think about his daughter, which he didn’t get to see very often now that she was in college.

Miriam, Stella and Suzie seemed like they were getting along very well. I think Suzie’s actually met Miriam before. Remember that time Arnold and I were coincidentally at the beach together? Yea I saw her getting along with someone and now that I think about it, I think it was Suzie. Huh.

Ernie was fighting with Oskar about staring at me. Of course I’m cheering for Ernie since Oskar creeps me out everytime for doing something that has to do with me. He’s just that creepy of a guy. Sometimes I wonder why Suzie’s even married to him.

It was then that dinner was finally set on the table. Gertie actually made something edible for once. Either that or Miles made it and Gertie’s just helping out by setting it out for everyone. You know, now that I think of it, I’m just gonna go with that reason.

Everyone had finally sat in their seats, meaning that everyone was literally yelling at Oskar so they could eat, and we finally dug into our steaks. Especially me, I was so hungry. I can’t believe I almost didn’t anything for the whole day. But other than Arnold, the only people who know about my eating disorder are Dr. Bliss, my mom, Olga, and Phoebe.

Everyone was talking as we ate, laughing and telling adult jokes that I understood, but not all of them. I kept thinking about Arnold. Excited for him to be home tomorrow, for him to see the look on his face when he finds out I’m living here now. For a month, but still.

There’s only two good qualities about living here. The big family, and Arnold. The rest are bad qualities I’ll have to get used to. Like waiting for my turn to do the laundry, and for the bathroom. Oh that’ll be fun. And I’ll probably have to watch out for people stealing my food from the fridge. People do that, you know.

But for some reason, I just could not stop thinking about Arnold. Like, we’ve already told each other I love you, and it’s not like he’s never in my mind, but he’s been on my mind a lot more lately.

Thursday, December 22nd.

10:57am. The Bathroom.

I don’t think I’ve ever waited 2 and a half hours before just to take a shower.

The line was unbelievably long, and for some reason I was last in line. It was first Phil who took so long because he was singing in the shower, then Oskar took so freaking long for no reason. He didn’t have a daytime job other than getting up at 4am for the papers, so what was the point of taking up almost an hour?

Luckily Mr. Hyunh didn’t take that long, no more than 15 minutes. Suzie I kind of understand, she had a night shift and it took about 30 minutes. Ernie was about 20, Olga the same amount of time except for her stupid skin care routine, and mom just had to use the bathroom.

Like I said, I had to get used to it unfortunately.

I slept in Arnold’s room last night because I could not stop thinking about him, it was impossible to get him out of my head. Like this was more intense then it was five years ago. He was on my mind 24/7. I haven’t seen him for almost a week, and he hasn’t been in contact with me. Is that normal in a relationship? I have no idea.

With that out of the way, I also thought to myself, At least I don’t have to get Bob a present now. But I also thought to myself, Do I have to get the Boarders gifts? Arnold would probably tell me something like, It would be a nice thing if you did. Well, maybe for Miles and Stella, maybe Phil and Gertie, but that’s where I draw the line.

It was three days till Christmas, I still had time to do that. So after I got dressed, I went straight downstairs and asked Phil and Gertie what Miles and Stella would like for Christmas, and I did the same with them, asking what Phil and Gertie wanted.

I went around town with the remaining $290 I had left. As Phil and Gertie told me, I got both of them some new exploring gear so if they ever travel back to San Lorenzo. And from what Miles and Stella told me, I got Phil a locket so he could have a picture of Gertie in it—that one was actually my idea, since he accidentally took mine one time. And I got Gertie some cowboy stuff for her wild west personality.

That was all about $75. And when I was roaming around the mall one last time before I left, I came across a hat store, and reluctantly decided to go in. Looking at all the baseball hats and caps, I saw one that would be perfect for Arnold. He had outgrown the one his parents had given him as a baby, so I think something like this would be perfect. It was around $10.

I still had $205 left, so I got myself some McDonald’s because everyone loves McDonald’s, plus I’ve been craving a cheeseburger for some reason. Along with that, fries, and a Dr. Pepper, I took my gifts and finally headed home, listening to the No More Tears album by Ozzy. Along with me taking Reinventing the Steel by Pantera, Seasons in the Abyss by Slayer, and 1984 by Van Halen. You know, for options.

When I came back, Arnold still hadn’t come back yet. I had guessed him, Gerald, and the others were throwing rocks by the pond or something. That seemed like something the boys would do. Which gave me the perfect time to wrap gifts in Arnold’s room. If I was going to live here for a month, his room is technically my room for the month. I mean, it already was before I moved here but that’s besides the point.

I got to work right away, listening to the song Van Halen’s 1984 album on Arnold’s record player and drinking my Dr. Pepper for caffeine, I got done with wrapping quicker than I thought. Moving all the presents downstairs, I grabbed the ones I wrapped yesterday and Olga’s as well and put them all under the tree.

The Boarders seemed to be impressed by how organized all the presents looked, since for some dumb reason they put Oskar in charge of putting gifts under the tree. I put a lot of the big ones in the back and more of the smaller ones where people could see them. I even bought little stocking gifts for each of the Borders since I was feeling generous after buying Arnold’s new hat.

“Wow, Helga. I never realized you were so organized with things like this!” Mr. Hyunh complimented as Ernie agreed with him.

“Oh, thanks, Mr. Hyunh. I did stuff like this a lot back at my old place. Bob always made a mess of things and I’d always be the one fixing it.” The thought of Bob gave me a chill down my spine.

“I always wonder, why do you call your parents by their first names sometimes? I hear it occasionally.” Ernie mentioned, which was something I didn’t want to get into right then.

“It’s a long story. Maybe someday I’ll tell the story to you guys, but not today.” I told them as I started heading back up to Arnold’s room. All I wanted to do now was think about him, and nothing else, because he came back to my mind once Mr. Hyunh started talking to me.

I was in Arnold’s room for at least two hours while I was listening to his music and reading my book. I liked reading horror stories and, of course, romance. But I liked reading novels. Novels had something else against other kinds of books. It was unique in some kind of way.

As I read about my horror book, I was too into the story when I didn’t even hear Arnold coming home. Horror stories also gave me a chill up my spine. I was too freaked out, but way too investigated as well.

Arnold was downstairs greeting everyone, his parents hugging him and asking him how his sleepover was. He had bought Christmas presents for all the Borders, his parents, grandparents, and coincidently, me, Olga, and Miriam, saying that he didn’t know what to get Bob exactly. How did I know this? He told me before we decided to do something later on.

His parents told him that the three of us were here, and to ask them personally why we’re living here now. So once he put his gifts under the tree, he went up to his room, which of course he had no idea I was in there, and heard his music. So he decided to knock, which scared the crap out of me because I was really getting into this book.

I went over thinking it was Olga or Phil and Gertie or something, until I opened the door to reveal my “long lost” boyfriend. His face looked surprised, even though he knew I was here, but of course, he had no idea I was even in his room to begin with.

So I played it casually until he did something, because I knew how he was. “Hey, Arnold! Sorry for just being in your room like this, I hope you didn’t mind. I was wrapping presents in here earlier then I was catching up on this great book I was just reading-”

He placed his soft hands on my cheeks, and kissed me. Oh criminy it felt like forever since we kissed. My face was suddenly getting warmer by the second, my heart was pounding all of a sudden. I could hear Arnold kick the door closed once I wrapped my arms around his neck and immediately kissed him. It had only been six days since I had seen him last, six days was long enough.

He moved his arms down and hugged them around my waist, which was a first. But it felt nice, I actually felt loved for once. Not that I never did before by him for the past six months, but I meant before we started dating.

He finally broke apart from the kiss and looked me in the eyes. He looked so in love, and I absolutely adored the look of love on his face, it was cute. His heart shaped eyes, the blush on his cheeks and nose, the soft, warm smile plastered on his face. I’d seen it on myself, and I could definitely say that this boy had really fallen for me.

“Hey, Helga.” He whispered to me softly. God how I missed him.

“Hey, Arnold.” I told him, then I just kissed him once again. It felt amazing when he kissed me back. I loved him so much.

With Van Halen still playing in the background, I broke apart from the kiss and just hugged him. I’m acting like we haven’t seen each other in months, but I really didn’t care honestly. Nine year old me would have gone crazy for this.

After a few minutes, we finally sat down on the bed and talked for a good 20 minutes, Arnold had told me that he’d been so busy with taking care of Abner and buying Christmas presents for family and friends that he completely forgot to contact me, and said was going to call me when he got to Gerald’s but the phone line was out for some reason, which I’m glad it was, because that’s what led to the hard part of the conversation.

I chuckled nervously before saying, “I’m kind of glad you couldn’t call me.”

Of course he had that cute confused look on his face. “How come?”

“Well, as you know, I am living here now for only a month.”

“That’s what I wanted to ask you as well. Mom and dad told me that and also told me to ask Miriam personally, but I’m more curious to hear from you. And also about the red mark on your face.”

Andddd there it was. The bomb had officially exploded.

“Uhm, criminy how do I put this? The thing is, is that m- my dad slapped me, on purpose.”

His reaction was immediate, almost angry immediately. That’s how you knew he cared that much. “What! Why?!”

“Because he was mad about the fact that I got you gifts and I didn’t get any for him.”

Now he looked more confused. “So you didn’t know what to get him either?”

“Nope. Wait, what do you mean either?”

“I got you, your sister and your mom gifts as well, but I didn't know what to get Bob.”

I smiled warmly, wanting to kiss him again so badly, but I had to control myself. “That’s sweet of you, Arnold.”

He had the look of love again. That look would never get old, considering how I found it cute.

“So, what happened next?” He curiously asked.

“Well, he almost slapped Olga, but didn’t, but he did slap my mom, which made me pissed off. And one bad thing led to another which caused an argument. But I got so mad that I mentioned their divorce papers...which I had known I took too far, but he needed to hear how I found out about it. And because of my parents’ constant fighting and arguing, and with my dad slapping my mom, we all knew it was time to sign those papers.”

“So your parents-”

“Are getting a divorce.”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Arnold so upset about me before, I bet if his parents were getting a divorce, he’d be depressed for a while, which I wouldn’t blame him, but I’d be there for him in every way.

He hugged me, and I couldn’t help but hug him back. I didn’t cry though, as I knew this day would come eventually.

“So what’s the reason you guys are here? Did Bob get to keep the house?”

“No, he has to move out in a month, which is how long we’re going to be here, and Miriam didn’t want to be around him while he packs. I guess even for her it’d be too hard to watch, and with all the bad stuff that's happened, she just needed to get away from it.”

“Tell Miriam that if there’s anything I can get her, I’ll do so.”

“Thanks, Football Head, I’ll tell her later on.”

“So how’s Olga taking it? I know her well enough to know that I know she didn’t want them to divorce.”

“She didn’t take it too well at first. But after seeing what Bob did to me and mom, I think she’s finally realizing that Bob isn’t the kindest person to be around.”

“Yeah that’s for sure.” We both chuckled at that.

“So you’re not doing too good yourself?”

“I’m getting better. My eating disorder was really acting up and I almost didn’t eat anything yesterday, plus I hardly ate at all this past week since I hadn’t seen you.”

“Oh, Helga, I'm so sorry. That’s totally my fault.”

“What are you talking about? You had nothing to do with this. I was just being ridiculous and not eating much because I missed my boyfriend too much.”

“Well, I’m just glad you’re doing better. But remember, if you need anything, just tell me. You know I’m always going to be here for you, and that I love you so much, Helga. You don’t know how much.”

And now it was my turn to look at him with hearts in my eyes. I just loved him more than anything. And now Bob could think whatever he wants about our relationship, because he was never going to be around to tell me to break up with him again. Never scold me about how much he never liked him, how much he never cared about our relationship. He was finally out of my life, and I didn’t have to worry or get angry at him again.

I could finally be with Arnold and not have to worry about him. He was gone forever and I never had felt so relieved before. So relieved that I had the confidence to actually French kiss Arnold.

It felt so care free, and it only put him in my mind. Nothing to worry about, nothing to be angry about, he was finally gone.

Now all that was there was me, Arnold, and our tongues combined as we French kissed, listening to Van Halen on a stormy day in December.

Chapter Text

Sunday, December 25th, 2005.

2:47am. The Rooftop.

Surprisingly, Arnold’s parents didn’t mind that I slept with Arnold in his room. They knew we weren’t going to do anything, we were too young anyways, and plus we both didn’t feel comfortable or even think about doing anything like that.

Of course, I understood why my mom was a little iffy on it. She said no at first, but Olga gave her a talk about it and how it might’ve been good for me because it could help clear the bad things out of my head, and how a girl needs to spend time with a nice boy like Arnold. Miriam still didn’t sound 100% okay with it, but she said yes in the end.

So now what am I doing? Well, instead of cuddling with my beloved, I’m on the rooftop with my MP3 player, playing one of my favorite songs, Come As You Are by Nirvana, and just thinking about life I guess.

I could tell it was still cloudy from the storms we’ve been getting these past couple days, but I always hoped we could get a white Christmas. Or at least, that’s what both my dad and I thought when I was younger. Ever since I was born he’d always told me every year that he’d wish for a white Christmas. Snow would be falling down when Olga and I would unwrap our gifts, and afterwards we could play in the snow and have snowball fights and build snowmen, like a regular, happy family.

Unfortunately we were one fucked up family.

A father who went crazy and slapped his own kid and wife, a mother who used to drink almost 24/7, but is doing better now. An older daughter who thinks she has to impress her parents with getting straight A’s and doing literally everything that she’s good at. And me, who has recently had anxiety, and an eating disorder.

But whenever I think of Arnold’s family, I think, Wow, this kid is really lucky. He has loving parents and grandparents, and borders who they called each other family before Miles and Stella came home after a decade. And they still call each other family, even if they have their actual families, I never see them leave to go see them. They stick with Arnold, and I get why: He’s a fantastic kid.

Which is why I still think I don’t deserve him.

I keep rewinding Come As You Are because for some reason I just love this stupid song. Some of the lyrics have to do with Kurt Cobain’s suicide, with it saying, “No I don’t have a gun.” And I just think about his death sometimes.

Is it weird that sometimes I think about my future? Of course not, people did it a lot. I want to go to a good college, and I want to marry Arnold. I don’t even know if he’s thought that far yet, but I already know what I want. But I don’t want to stay in Washington. That’s the only thing. I can’t stand being here after so much has happened to me. The only good things that's happened here to me was meeting Arnold, being best friends with Phoebe, and having Olga and mom as my family. Sure there were some other things that were also good about my childhood, but every time I think about those four, I smile so much, my heart can’t help but beat faster each time.

I also thought about how great Arnold was doing with some of the things in his life. Here in Washington, you can get your driver’s learners permit at 15. Arnold got his like a week after his birthday. Arnold’s also like five and a half months older than me, and I can’t even get mine until March. My birthday’s March 25th.

I’m standing out here in the cold, wearing one of Arnold’s t-shirts, wearing pj pants and my converse. No jacket, but I had my beanie. I snuck downstairs earlier and made myself a cup of hot cocoa, even adding mini marshmallows. This had to be one of the most peaceful nights I’ve ever had. It was perfect. I say I get cold easily, but this one night made everything so nice, that I didn’t feel one chill.

I felt a pair of arms around me, and of course I knew it was Arnold. He got like this when he was sleepy, and I found it so freking adorable. Because he was also clingy when he was sleepy, and I liked that a lot.

His head rested against my back, his arms tightening up just enough that it didn’t bother me. I took another sip of my cocoa and asked him, “What’d you doing up here?”

He mumbled back, to where I almost couldn’t hear him, “I should be asking you the same thing.”

I looked out into the night sky for a minute, looking at all the starts, sipping my warm drink, and just thinking about how much this was going to hurt without Bob being there on Christmas morning. Sure he was being abusive and he got on my nerves, but I still loved him.

“Just thinking about life, I guess.” I finally replied.

Arnold let go so he was in front of me, then wrapped his arms around me once again, resting his head on my chest. There were times where I couldn’t get enough of him, and these were one of those times.

I wrapped my free arm around his waist, pulling him closer. He looked like he could fall asleep just like that, and he almost did. I didn’t want him to just fall over, so I shook him lightly and told whispered, “Let’s get inside before you fall asleep like that.”

I think he started feeling bad? I couldn’t tell exactly, but his face told me that he knew I wanted to be out here more, and he was right. I wanted to enjoy more of the beautiful night sky, the chilliness but the warmth, standing out on this balcony with my boyfriend’s t-shirt and my pajama pants. But Arnold came first.

I took his hand and we started walking back down to his room. The lights were still off, but I could see where i was going just fine. With that, Arnold shut the rooftop window as I got adjusted to the bed before Arnold laid down, resting his head on my chest, and immediately falling asleep. I kissed him gently on the forehead and whispered goodnight, and he just hugged me tighter. Cute.

I couldn’t fall asleep that quickly though. I kept thinking about what it’ll be like in the morning. How it’ll be the first Christmas without Bob, how this will be the first Christmas with Arnold and I officially a couple now. Will he like my gifts? I hope so. They say it’s the thought that counts, but you never know.

With all the stress keeping me up, I managed to hold my head up to see it was already 3:17 in the morning. I had been up for over an hour, but the hot cocoa surprisingly made me a bit sleepy, only because it was so warm and toasty, I was yawning a bit when we were outside, and now that Arnold was hugging me, I was so warm by his body heat that I finally got the sleep I needed.

Until Abner woke me up at 7 in the morning.

“Mmm, Abner, it’s early, go back downstairs.” I mumbled to him. Though if you really think about it, it’s never too early on Christmas morning. That’s always been my saying as a kid, and it’s still my saying to this day.

Abner then squealed right in my ear, and he woke up Arnold then.

“Helga? What’s going on?” He mumbled softly, and I couldn’t help but smile warmly at him.

“Abner just squealed in my ear and woke me up.”

“Well, what time is it? Because he always gets up really early on Christmas.”

“It’s 7:05.”

He all of a sudden jolted his head up like he had the energy of a four year old kid early in the morning. “Why didn’t you tell me!?” He then kissed me real quickly and jumped right out of bed. And I can’t tell you how all that just happened in the last ten seconds.

“Was I supposed to tell you?” I asked confusingly.

“All the Boarders are downstairs between 7 and 7:15! After we’re all down there we open presents of course while either Grandma plays Christmas music on her piano while my parents sing along, or we put on a Christmas movie, it kind of rotates each year. But THEN my mom cooks pigs in a blanket–mini sausages rolled up in crasuants. It’s amazing!”

Just hearing him ramble about Christmas makes me smile warmly. I truly did love hearing him ramble about even the smallest things. Though this was huge for him, especially since I knew that this was his favorite holiday. And I was also kind of curious on how this would go, since this will be a big family, and it looked like I’d have to go ahead and wake Olga and mom up.

“I swear you’re going to love it, Helga.”

I had no choice but to get up...

“You are going to be so happy when-”

And kiss that amazing Football Head of his.

He kissed me back. I placed my hands on his cheeks as he put his on my waist. It felt like the exact moment when he had kissed me in here back in June. It was amazing. And maybe, just maybe, I could sneak a mistletoe in the living room sometime today. I’m not sure. No one’s ever seen me kiss Arnold other than Phoebe and Gerald.

I broke apart for the kiss and looked at him with a warm smile, and he had those heart shaped eyes of his with that soft smile. He was the cutest boy I’ve ever fallen for. He was the only boy I’ve ever fallen for.

“Merry Christmas, Arnold. I’ll see you downstairs.” I told him softly as I walked out of the door. The look on his face was priceless. He looked so shocked to see me like that. But, if you know me well, I was too in love with the boy to even care about anything else at that moment.

After using the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I went in my room to wake up mom and Olga, to find out they weren’t even in their beds. If they had gotten up early for this day, I would actually be surprised. 

Sometimes we wouldn’t open presents till almost 10am, and I kind of hated opening presents that late. It was Bob’s fault anyway, he always said that we should never have to get up early for something “Stupid” like that. Did he have a childhood when he was young?

I came downstairs rubbing my eyes so I could actually concentrate on waking up, and I saw so many decorations that even I’ve never seen so much in one house before. Little Christmas trees hung around the walls, a Christmas movie playing on TV for everyone to enjoy, the lights on the tree beautiful colors, and almost all the adults with coffees in their hands. Arnold being like Santa and handing out all the gifts to everyone.

I noticed that some of the gifts he’s wrapped himself for my family, he’s wrapped them differently than what he has for the other Borders. For my family the wrapping paper he used was kind of sparkly, with bows on it. He used bows for his parents' presents too, and grandparents, but it’s like he did this on purpose. And he might’ve. That sounds like Arnold.

When everyone yelled married Christmas, it was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. And while everyone wasn’t looking, except Olga unfortunately, Arnold kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “Merry Christmas, Helga,” in ways I couldn’t express how attractive that was. I just wanted to kiss him back so badly, but I couldn’t. Unless he was planning to put up a mistletoe any time soon...

Miles and Stella were watching Arnold open all the gifts that everyone had gotten him, and they just seemed so happy just to see him happy. He had gotten the clothes he wanted, the CD’s, the figurines, almost everything he had asked for. And I knew this because he told me most of the stuff he wanted.

I opened some of the presents I had gotten from some of these people. For starters, I opened one of my gifts from Miles and Stella. It was a pink scarf that had matching mittens to go with it, and I can honestly say they were really cute.

Next came from Olga. She had gotten me a few things actually. The first one was a recent picture we had taken a few months ago when we went out shopping. She had gotten it framed and at the bottom it said “To my baby sister,” with a little heart next to it. It was so sweet I actually almost teared up. She then got me a new pink bow since my other one had gotten lost sometime last year. And finally, she got me the Steal This Album! CD by System and Master of Puppets by Metallica. She’s so sweet, she remembered what I liked.

Mom only got me a couple things, which I was okay with. I would have been okay if she didn’t get me anything to be honest. Her and I’s relationship was the best gift I could ask for. But she got me some Pokemon cards as one—which I started collecting after Arnold and I started going out. And she also got me the Vulgar Display of Power CD by Pantera. I truly did love her.

And lastly came Arnold. He also got me a picture frame, but of us two when we were babies. Our parents used to be really good friends before they went to San Lorenzo. We were both playing in the park when I took his bucket and mini shovel in the sandbox, and we both fought over it until we decided to share I guess. It really was a cute picture, we both were trying to make sandcastles, but instead just pouring sand on each other. But what he also got me was Ashes of the Wake CD by Lamb of God. I had heard of them but never really got into them, so I wonder if they’re really good. He also got me In Utero by Nirvana. Best boyfriend ever.

I thought it was finally over with, that was until Arnold sat really close to me for some reason. I thought he was going to kiss me until Olga started talking mainly towards me as the other adults looked upset all of sudden, like they knew something was up.

“Helga, I know you thought that was the last of your presents, but you actually have one more. From daddy.”

I could not believe this. Even after all this time he still manages to get me a gift? Was this before he did what he did a few days ago? Or did he buy this and send it here like yesterday or something to ask for forgiveness? Because if that’s the reason, he’s not getting it.

It was a surprisingly long gift. Like the length of it looked familiar, and I sort of had an idea of what it could be. I opened it up to see that it was a newly made baseball bat. One that looked fresh too. Like it was meant to be used by me. It even had the signature of Mickey Kaline on it. Of course I knew he was still alive but that was amazing it had such a signature like that. And it even came with a new baseball glove, also with his signature.

I couldn’t tell you how surprised I was to see something this amazing of a Christmas present like this. And I couldn’t believe that the man I hated the most had gotten a gift like this for me.

“Dad really got this for me?” I couldn’t tell what I was supposed to feel at that point. Did I want to thank him, or did I want to slap him? Did I want to hug him, or shove him away?

“He also wrote you a note too.” Olga mentioned, and that’s when I felt like I was going to pass out. Why was he doing this? Did he want my love for him back? Because that left a while ago, in case he missed that part of my life.

And when I read said note, I could not believe the choice of words he used for this:

Dear Helga,

I’m sorry that I can’t be with you for Christmas this year. But I heard you talking to your stupid boyfriend about how you wanted to join the baseball team this coming spring, and I thought that was pretty cool I guess. So I got you this exclusive baseball bat and glove for tryouts. You better make it in, you’re good with these types of things anyway.

But I guess the reason I’m also writing this is to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for slapping you and your mother, I’m sorry for not giving you the love and care that you needed, I’m sorry for being a bad father. You deserve more than that, you really deserve everything.

But it’s most likely you won’t hear from me for a long time. I had gotten promoted to move my beeper emporium to California, and these important business people wanted me there badly, so I took the job, mainly to provide money for your child support.

I hope you, Miriam, and Olga are doing well. Merry Christmas to all of you, even Arnold.

                                                                                                                                                        Love, Dad.

At that point I was flabbergasted. I had absolutely no words to even comprehend what he actually wrote to me, and what he gave me. So he pretty much is asking for forgiveness. But him moving out of state just to make enough money for child support? That’s more effort I’ve seen in him for months to be honest.

He also took the liberty to apologize, and even said Arnold’s actual name. So it’s a start I guess?

After I actually took a minute to comprehend and process that, I went to hug my mom in my arms, which Arnold and Olga joined right after as I teared up right in front of everyone on Christmas morning.

10:27pm. Arnold’s bedroom.

Night had finally come. I could actually be alone with Arnold—even though I was this morning, but that’s not the point.

While Arnold was in the shower I listened to my new Ashes of the Wake album, and I’ve got to admit, heavy metal is such an amazing thing to listen to. It just keeps most of your other thoughts away, and relaxes you in a way, if you’re into heavy metal like I am that is.

This was literally on full blast, and I could figure out all the guitar riffs easily, and somehow my eardrums didn’t explode. But I was air guitaring too much to even care at that point. But what I didn’t notice was that when Arnold came into the room when I was looking he saw how good at air guitar I was.

He tapped me on the shoulder, which scared the shit out of me. “Criminy, don’t scare me like that!” I yelled.

“Sorry. Is that the CD I got you?” He asked curiously.

“Oh, yeah. This sounds amazing! Where did you even hear about Lamb of God?”

“I’ve heard a couple of their songs before. I wasn’t really too much into them, but I figured you’d be. And I didn’t bother asking if you’ve heard of them before because that might’ve given away your present.”

He had a good point there. “I really liked the picture you gave me too. I’m guessing your mom took it.”

“Actually my dad took that one. After he took the picture he literally said that we’d be soulmates.” We both laughed at that one.

I got off from the bed and went over to my baseball bat as I took another look at its beauty. It really was a good looking baseball bat, and I was surprised he could actually afford something like this just for me.

“It’s such a nice baseball bat.” Arnold mentioned. I didn’t reply to him, as I was too busy thinking how to even thank my dad for this, or if I should ever thank him at all.

With that, my thinking process got interrupted by someone knocking at the door. Arnold answered and it was Miriam. She was holding something but I really couldn’t tell what it was, almost like another letter from my dad or something.

“Hey, it’s another letter from your dad.” Arnold mentioned.

What a coincidence.

He handed me the letter and I thought to myself, Do I dare even read this? Who knows what else he was going to either give me or ask for. I knew how much he wanted my forgiveness. But if he was going to mention it again in this letter, then he can just forget it at this point. Without no more waiting, I opened it slowly, and saw it said:

Dear Helga,

I should probably stop writing to you. You’re probably getting tired of it. But there’s one more Christmas present I need to give to you in person. Come by the house tomorrow and get it.

                                                                                                                                                                 Love, Dad.

“What the heck?” I questioned myself.

Just then, I saw Arnold smirk, like he was planning on doing something. “Speaking of Christmas presents, I forgot to give you my other gift too.”

“Criminy, is everyone getting me more gifts after Christmas morning?” This was too much to even think about.

“No no. You’re going to like this one.” He kept smirking.

I was acting so dumb for a few seconds, until I figured out what he was talking about. And as soon as the idea came to mind, I swallowed nervously and the blush ran across my cheeks.

We both ran to the bed and once we did, I had already sat on the end of his bed while my legs were crisscrossed, and he SAT on my lap. Oh my lord. Aren’t the girls supposed to sit on the guys’ laps? Who cares, I was too focused on my actual Christmas present to care. But, it was then that he put hands on my cheeks, leaned in and whispered, “Merry Christmas, Helga,” and started French kissing me.

If I had said this is the worst gift, I’d be lying 1000%.

I put my arms around his neck and I cannot tell you how much I was enjoying the gift he was giving me. But I also can’t explain how the hell he was so good at French kissing. It’s like he’s had practice with someone. But I knew he wouldn’t do that with just anyone he didn’t like like that.

After a few minutes of making out, he broke apart from the kiss and then started kissing my neck. My NECK. I really think he thought that I was only 14 for a few minutes, but I wasn’t going to remind him now. No, this was enjoyable. This was memorable. I was absolutely in love with this boy. And man did the neck kissing felt good to the point where I almost moaned out loud.

His head came back up as he looked into my eyes. His full of love. His mouth wanting more kisses. His hands a bit shaky, but in a good way. I swallowed nervously again, but pulled my arms back and this time put my hands on his cheeks, and started French kissing him.

I had never thought I’d ever get something like this, especially from Arnold. I thought I’d never be loved. I thought that love would never come to me, as it would to Arnold. Because there were a few other girls that had liked him in middle school, but he rejected them all, just because he fell for me. And I still ask myself, What does he see in me?

I’m just some girl who listens to rock and heavy metal almost 24 hours a day, who has an eating disorder, and who has high anxiety over certain things. But Arnold? Other than him having his PTSD, he’s perfect. So why did he choose me? After all those sayings as a child about how he should be with me, should he be with me?

Of course he still doesn’t go with Lila at all. I hate seeing them just talking. And don’t get me wrong, Lila’s not all that bad, it’s just that she now has a massive crush on Arnold and is trying to steal him away from me. But that’s not going to happen, because I know how loyal he is to not just leave me in the dust like that.

I love Arnold for who he is as a person, and how he acts around other people. Whether it be his friends or complete strangers. He’s also there to help someone in need, especially someone he’s close with. He’s a good person with a good heart. And that’s really all there is to it. Now as I sit here making out with my boyfriend, I’m sitting here also thinking, How the fuck did I get so lucky with this guy?

Chapter Text

Monday, December 26th.

11:31am. Arnold’s bedroom.

We stayed up so late last night that I don’t even know what time we went to bed last night. All I remember is that Arnold took off his shirt and I almost passed out from excitement.

It felt like I had a hangover from drinking so much, because when I woke up I had the worst headache for some reason. But when I woke up, I felt so much warmth inside me, because Arnold was laying his head right on my chest again as his arms were wrapped around me. He’s always so cute when he’s like that.

I looked over and saw that the clock said 11:32am. Good lord, how late did we stay up last night? Wait- I remember why now.

“You wanna get something to eat?” He asked me.

“Arnold, it’s almost 2:00 in the morning.”

“So?”

The fact that we snuck downstairs just for snacks was literally one of the best things that could happen for me, especially since I was with him. We had grabbed some goldfish, yahoo sodas, and some small bags of chips each for our liking.

We quietly crept back upstairs and just sat there eating snacks and talking for over an hour. Afterwards we laid down and cuddled while we still talked. Mainly about what kept going on in our lives.

“What do you think your dad wants to give you tomorrow?” Arnold asked curiously. It’s funny, even though I don't know what else he would want to give me. He said in his last letter that I deserve everything. When he says it it’s absolutely true. But when I think about it myself? I don’t believe it.

“I have no idea.” I finally replied. “Why would he even want to give me gifts anyway? He already gave me that baseball bat. And I already know he’s asking for my forgiveness. And he’s not gonna get it.”

“But why?”

“Why? Have you seen what he’s done to my face?” Have I mentioned that he slapped me so hard that the red mark has still been on my cheek since that day? Well now you know.

“I get that, Helga. But maybe he’s just trying to be a better father in a way.”

“By getting me gifts and asking for my forgiveness?”

“Well probably more than that. In a way, he sounds like he wants to be a better father toward you. He wants to do this stuff because he wants to be good for you, even if he’s going away for who knows how long. It’s his way of saying sorry, even if he has said it in his letters. And it means that he wants to make it up to you.”

In a way, Arnold was right about everything he just said. Dad even told me that he was taking this job just so he could get the money he needed to pay for my child support. And by getting me these things, he wants to spend a good bit of money on me before he leaves, to show how sorry he really was. In a way, I guess you could say, he was an ok father at times.

It was then that Arnold kissed me lightly on my right cheek, the one I got slapped on. Then laid his head on my chest. I could feel the smile form on his face and his grip tightening as he was hugging me. Other than out make out sessions, I don’t think I’ve seen Arnold this affectionate before. And that’s exactly what I told him.

He sat up and looked me in the eyes as he told me, “Well, I’m feeling a bit clingy.”

I smirked as I took my fingers to lift his chin, which made him swallow nervously. I loved it when he was like this. It made me feel like something that I wasn’t too familiar with, but I can’t put a finger on it. Either way, I was still smirking when I asked him, “Really?”

He looked at me once again with those heart shaped eyes, the goofy smile that says “I fucking love you” and, even in the dark, I saw his cheeks were covered in red, along with his nose and ears. He was warm, not just from body heat, but just because he loved me.

“Yeah, just a bit.” He said, the softest look on his face right in front of me. I had never seen him so in love before, especially with Ruth and Lila. It’s like he was begging for attention, without even meaning to. But looking in his eyes was like him practically asking for hugs and kisses. And I absolutely didn’t mind that with him, I just thought it was adorable.

“Well, what do you say for another make out session then?” I asked confidently.

“Helga, it’s almost 3:30 in the morning.”

“So?”

He didn’t argue with me afterward.

We should have pulled an all-nighter at that point, but we got really tired around 5ish to the point where we just fell asleep like this. I think I might just move my stuff in here. That way Olga and Mom can have their girl time or whatever, while I can spend each night here with my boyfriend until we move out.

While Arnold was still sleeping on me, I got back to my book as I played with his hair. But as I read, I also couldn’t stop thinking about what he said about my dad last night, that he could really be trying to be a good father now. I mean, the child support, the gifts, and the fact that, now that I’m really thinking about it, he hasn’t really asked for any kind of forgiveness except saying sorry to me. I don’t think I can ever accept any apologies he says towards me, but it’s the fact that he’s trying. And for once, I’m kind of proud of him.

It made me think about how seeing him today was going to be like, then never having to see him again.

I didn’t want to think about that till later. So without hardly moving, I got my MP3 player from the nightstand, turning down the volume a lot so Arnold wouldn’t hear it, and continued listening to my Ashes of the Wake Album. I was on the song Break You, and it sounded so freaking. I wondered if Alex had listened to this before.

Arnold squirmed on me, trying to get comfortable. I was half surprised that he wasn’t awake yet. It was almost noon, but we stayed up really late last night, and the make out session tuckered us out. But you know what else kept me thinking? One time he told me that my heartbeat soothed him. And that kind of makes sense. It did the same thing for me. I was resting my head on his chest one time and his heartbeat was more satisfying than I could remember.

After about 30 minutes of reading and listening to Lamb of God, Arnold finally woke up around 12:20. And the first thing he did was kiss me on the cheek and told me good morning like we had been married and doing this for years.

I pulled my headphones down around my neck and started playing with his hair again. It was so soft. I loved it when it was this soft.

“You do realize it’s the afternoon, right?” I chuckled.

He managed to lift his head a little more and saw the time on the clock, which read 12:21pm.

“Oh my god, what time did we fall asleep last night?” He rubbed his head as if he had a hangover as well, but immediately just plopped his head right back on my chest.

I told him around 5 in the morning and he didn’t even seem that surprised, neither was I to be honest. 

“Ugh, I could just spend time here with you all day.”

“Just like this?”

“Exactly like this.”

I chuckled again, he was too cute. “Arnold, as much as I would love to do exactly that with you, I gotta meet up with my dad today, remember?”

“Mmmm, do you have to do that today?”

“Unfortunately yes.”

“Then can it be exactly like this tomorrow? Just like this?”

I couldn’t help but laugh again. “Whatever floats your boat, Football Head.” I kissed him on the forehead as I took my headphones and kept listening to my music while reading my book.

I told Arnold I had to leave around 2:30, so we could spend time in here for about an hour until I had to get ready. So what he did was literally fall back asleep on me as I calmly read my book, playing with his cornflower hair.

2:37pm. Helga’s house.

I finished Ashes of the Wake and let me just say that I will most likely be listening to that album a lot. It was that good.

I finally left the house about ten minutes ago, bringing with me my MP3 player with the choices of Ride the Lightning by Metallica, Diary of a Madman by Ozzy, and In Utero by Nirvana. I’ve listened to Ride the Lightning a lot, but I can’t help it; it's just perfect. It had the most amazing songs, that it had to be my favorite Metallica album out of all of the other ones.

It was way too cold for my satisfaction this morning, so I literally just went in my favorite pajama pants, converse, Arnold’s jacket and sweater, my beanie, and the matching scarf and mittens Miles and Stella got me. I got cold way too easily, especially my hands. They’d get cold to the point where I couldn’t feel them.

When I turned around the corner, I finally saw my house. But when I saw it, there was already a huge moving truck there. So Bob was trying to leave before New Years? It didn’t surprise me that much. Nothing really surprises me anymore at this point.

I saw two huge guys helping Bob move some of his boxes, which I didn’t see the point in. Yes he had a lot of stuff, but not enough stuff to where he needed that huge truck. But dense or not, I walked over there just to see if he did actually get me anything or not. It wasn’t till I actually got to the steps of my house that he finally noticed me.

“Oh, hey Olga.”

“Dad, it-”

“Criminy, it’s Helga. Helga. I’m sorry, I’m trying to get better at that.”

Okay, what was that? He’s never actually noticed that he’s gotten my name wrong before. This proved he was actually trying. Good. He needed to know stuff like this.

“I’ll get your present in a minute. Just have a seat inside for now.” He told me.

When I walked inside it was like nothing had changed much downstairs, except a few of his things that were down here. Like his chair and the TV, he did own that surprisingly. And when I went upstairs, a lot of his things were gone in certain places, especially most of the stuff in mom’s room of course.

It just looked so weird, and it was going to be weird without dad here as well. Maybe if I hadn't said anything about the papers, none of this would be happening. Then again I kind of like it because mom and dad’s fighting was finally put to an end. Plus I get to sleep with Arnold for a month.

It was a good thing I brought my book with me too. Because I sat there for a half an hour literally just reading and still listening to my Ride the Lightning album. At that point I was just about to walk out and leave my dad in the dust.

And of course, as I think that, he suddenly comes into the room with a giant present that’s still perfectly wrapped. There was a huge pink bow wrapped around it, a lot like my old one. In fact very similar to my old one. Wait a minute-

“Dad...”

“What, sweetheart?”

“That bow wouldn’t happen to be my old one would it?”

“Yeah, I found it in your room a while ago. Why?”

“Nothing, I was just wondering.” I swear I was about to punch this man in the face.

I took my present and started unwrapping carefully since it felt a bit heavy. But I had to admit though, my curiosity was a bit piqued. I’m pretty sure all kids love getting huge presents on Christmas, and let me tell you something else: I am absolutely one of those kids. Which is why I got kind of emotional about the baseball bat. It really meant something to me, and I’m sure this will too.

After I got all the wrapping paper off, I saw the box was sealed really well, so it had to be something fragile. My dad handed me the box cutter as I carefully cut the tape off of it. When I lifted the box, I could not believe my eyes on what I was actually seeing.

The Fender Player Stratocaster Maple Fingerboard Limited Edition Electric Guitar.

This was something I wasn’t expecting, especially from my dad, to get me at all. This was the last thing I would have expected anyone to get me, especially a beauty like this one.

I was shocked, I wanted to hold it like it was everything to me. I wanted to play it like there was no tomorrow. This was now my new favorite thing in the whole world.

“Dad, you didn’t...” I just couldn’t believe he would get me something like this!

“Believe it, girl. I saved up a lot of money for that guitar. Especially to get it in that green color you like so much. I even got you a couple of guitar picks, a strap, tone finger grease to clean the strings with, and the case already came in for it, so you have something to put it in to keep clean.”

He got it all already so I wouldn’t have to. This was truly the most amazing present I had ever received. Now I could actually practice with my own guitar instead of having to practice at the music shop. I always had to ask Alex for a guitar from the back just to practice for only a couple hours. Now I could practice however long I wanted to. I couldn’t believe I was saying this, but:

“I really owe you one, dad.” I said softly.

“No you don’t. I owe you this. For being such a jerk these past months that flew by. I really am sorry, Helga. For being a lousy father.”

I kept wanting to look at my guitar, but instead, I got up and hugged my dad. Not only for actually trying to be a parental figure, but for being honest as well. I couldn’t be more proud of him, and I would miss him while he was gone. And maybe he could either come here and visit or I could see him in California.

After we got done hugging, dad asked me to show him if I knew how to play. And of course I showed him a little bit of the Metallica stuff I learned, and some of the Ozzy stuff as well. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look more impressed, like he knew he made the right decision on getting me this beauty of a guitar.

He helped me get it in its case as I put the other things in my small bag, for once keeping my MP3 player in there, actually talking with him the entire way back to Arnold’s place to help me get the guitar up to his room.

We finally got there and we were still talking at that point as he just placed it on the floor of Arnold’s room—which I guess is our room until I move out. We leaned on the car for a good 45 minutes until he mentioned that he had to get going.

“Helga, I want you to know that I do love you, Olga, and your mother. That I’ll cherish the memories we’ve made together these past years. And that’ll I’ll miss you three very much. I know it’ll take some getting used to without me yelling in the house, but I’m sure it won’t take long without you getting used to it quickly.”

“You read my mind, Bob.” I told him as we hugged one last time before I heard the footsteps of Olga and Miriam coming after him.

“Oh, B. This is really it, isn’t it?”

“Yep, I already told Helga I’d pay for the money for child support when I make just enough in California. And that’ll I’ll miss her and Olga, and even you.”

I saw her blushing a little bit, like she wasn’t ready to let go of Bob just yet, but she knew that she had to. For the sake of her kids, and for believing that it just can’t work out anymore.

They both hug one last time, before Bob lightly kisses her on the cheek of where he slapped her. Apologizing to her in the most honest way he could possibly tell her. She didn’t accept it, but she understood what he was saying, and that’s all that mattered.

He said his goodbyes to Olga, and I knew they would miss each other very much. Unfortunately they were like two peas in a pod.

He finally got in his car and drove off, honking and waving his last goodbye to us. We just couldn’t believe he would be doing this, but we understood why he was doing it. Mainly to be a better father.

Olga and Miriam went inside as they both started to cry. I teared up a bit, only because it felt like I was finally getting to know my own father. But I knew I would only miss him half the time. When I think about what he did to me and mom, I can just stay mad at him and not so emotional.

But what can I say? It was finally time for us to go our separate ways.

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006.

The Sunset Arms Boarding House.

Let me tell you what the heck has been going on for the past couple months.

Firstly, Miriam sold the house. She sold the freaking house.

We were supposed to be moving back a month ago, but since we haven’t lived there in a month, apparently someone thought it was for sale. Which I don’t even know how they’d know, unless they were breaking and entering. But it was also the same stupid night Miriam had decided to have one of her cheat days and have a smoothie and SOLD THE HOUSE WHILE SHE WAS DRUNK.

So now we permanently live in the Boarding House because there aren’t any more places to live in the city, and so she had to explain to Phil why we were permanently living here now.

Arnold was wondering why I wasn't all packed and ready to go, and I told him exactly what happened, and even he was confused why she would choose the night before we were supposed to move out as one of her cheat days. And she’s not even supposed to have cheat days, but she chooses what she pleases. But I guess she was pleased to get drunk last night and sell the house.

My personal concern was that now we had to get all our stuff out of there by the end of the month, so we have to keep making trips there and back her just get all our stupid stuff, and shove the extra boxes in the closet or something because we won’t have any stinkin’ room since the apartment is tiny as heck. But after we got all that situated, we were now permanently moved into our new home.

Next, Arnold and I are unfortunately back in school now.

But as time flew by, the more we were with each other, the more comfortable we got with each other of course. So when the bell rang for when we had to go to our separate classes, one of us would literally instead of regularly kissing each other, we would make out for like one or two seconds as one of us would just stand there acting dumbfounded and in love with the person.

And the dumbfounded person was normally Arnold. I did pretty much all the mini make outs because that’s how I was.

Lila had been talking with Arnold a lot since we came back to school. Half of the time he seems like himself, but some of the time he seems a little uncomfortable, like Lila’s flirting with him and he’s afraid he’ll hurt her feelings by telling her to stop. I mean, I get that. That’s how Arnold’s always been.

But it still bugs me how she has a major crush on him now. She even tried to kiss him in the hallway over a month ago, and that’s where both of us drew the line. Lila was allowed to only talk with Arnold, and that was about it.

But yeah she still obsesses over him.

Thirdly, and most importantly...

“My mom’s met someone.” I told Phoebe, and she looked at me like I’d lost my mind or something.

“Your mom got a new boyfriend?” She asked me in confusion. I had told Phoebe about the divorce a few days after she got back from vacation. I didn’t want to tell her right away and make her feel bad for me.

“Yeah. His name’s Mathew Anderson. He works for apartment properties in Seattle.” I explained. He wasn’t Bob, but at least he had a good job.

“Very interesting. Do you know anything else about him?”

“Well, he does have a kid. She’s only 12, so she’s in 7th grade right now.”

“Oh my. So If he and your mom get married, you’ll have a younger step-sister.”

I did not want to think about that right now.

But the thing I did have to think about was that Arnold and I were going to meet him for the first time today after school, along with his daughter, who I still didn’t know her name.

Mom and Mathew had been going out for about a month now, and she thought that today would be an absolutely good day to meet him. Since when was any day a good day to meet anyone? Especially the boyfriend of my mother’s who could possibly be my future step-father? Criminy.

Mathew came to pick up Arnold and I since Arnold had to practice his driving. He had to take his physical driving test soon, so he really needed the extra practice for this soon. He actually drives really well, especially since he’s had his permit for 5 months already. I was actually excited for him to get his driver's license. And I knew how excited he was as well.

And then there was me, who still couldn't get my permit yet. Not till next month.

But that wasn’t important right now, what’s important was that I was about to meet a man that I might never want to see again.

Arnold gently parked in the driveway as his dad told him a couple tips and reminders about what he needed to do on the road before he took his test. Meanwhile, I think I was the only person who noticed the unfamiliar car that was also in the driveway. It had to be Mathew.

Criminy, let’s just get this over with.

I walked inside and I heard excessive amounts of talking coming from the kitchen, from only two certain people. One was mom’s voice, and the other had to be Mathew’s voice. I slammed the door hard on purpose so Miriam could hear it.

“Helga, honey? Is that you?”

“Yes, Miriam.” I replied to her how my nine year old self would have replied to her.

Instead of yelling across the room some more, she actually came to me on the steps, knowing that I would be going into Arnold’s room. Because that’s exactly where I go after school.

“Listen, honey. Mathew is finally able to meet you today, and he brought his daughter along. Will you please introduce yourself to him? I think it’d be great if you two got to know each other.” Miriam pleaded.

I cocked an eyebrow as my arms were crossed. He brought his daughter here. I just think it’s funny how I wore my favorite outfit to meet Mathew and his daughter today. Pink striped shirt, ripped jeans, my boots, Arnold’s flannel wrapped around my waist, and I had on mascara as well.

I finally started walking with her, and that’s when I started hearing the official introduction. “Mathew, I’d like to introduce you to my younger daughter, Helga.” I would not get close with this man whatsoever. I already had a boy who I was super close with. Closer than I’ll ever be to this clown.

Mathew stood up and put his arm out, wanting me to shake mine with his. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Helga. Your mother has told me a lot about you.” He mentioned. He was wearing a suit, of course he must have had work today. He was a working man that had an important job in Seattle after all.

I took his hand, and afterward immediately pulled it back. But right when I did, I saw her. Mathew’s daughter. She kind of looked like she had a certain aesthetic with what she wore. Nothing special, just a red sweater with jean pant overalls and red high top converse. Cute outfit honestly.

I didn’t even speak a word to Mathew. I turned straight to my mom and asked her, “Has he met Olga already?” His daughter looked a bit surprised by how my voice sounded. She must’ve imagined it differently. A Lot of people do that though.

“Olga has met him and boy did they talk for a good while.” Miriam chuckled.

“Olga was very nice getting to know me. And I hope that we can become closer with each other, too, Helga. I’d like to get to know you, and I’m sure Hailey would too.” Mathew told me.

Her name was Hailey.

It was such a nice name for such an aesthetic girl. She really did seem cool to hang out with, especially for a 7th grader.

I still didn’t want to say a word to this man though. He wasn’t Bob, and that had nothing to do with it. But I just wasn’t expecting mom to find someone so quickly, pushing dad out of her just like that. But the past is the past, and one day you just have to move on. I still wasn’t talking to him though.

I got up and went to Arnold’s room, and believe or not, Hailey followed me up there. I couldn’t tell if I wanted her to do that or not, but she did it anyway.

“Hi, Helga. Sorry about my dad, he can get a little pushy when it comes to things.” She explained. She even sounded nice. She must have a good heart in her.

“No worries, I just don’t want to talk to him.”

“Well, how come?”

“Because he reminds me a lot of my dad, in a way. And if he and mom get married, I don’t know if I’m ready for a new step-dad.”

“Well, it’ll be a long time before they get married. If they even do get married. You never know, your mom might break up with my dad, or it could be the opposite way around.”

“I just want my mom to be happy, you know?”

“Yeah I get it. I want my dad to be happy too. My mom passed away a couple years ago, and my dad’s only met a few women all that time.”

“Oh. god. I’m so sorry

“It’s okay. Plus if they do end up getting married, I’ll have two big sisters to hang out with.” Her smile was warm, so much like Arnold’s. It was beautiful.

“When you get to high school, stick with me, and I’ll protect you from any bullies. I’ll also let you meet my cool friends.” I told her confidently, and she chuckled.

“I can’t wait! By the way, is this your room? It’s so cool!”

“No, it’s my boyfriend’s room.”

“You have a boyfriend?”

“Yeah. His name’s Arnold.”

“Can I meet him?

“He’s probably practicing for his driver’s test right now, so maybe in a little while, or next time you come over.”

“Woah, he can drive?!”

“He doesn’t have an actual license yet, but yeah, he can legally drive.”

“Can you drive yet?”

“I know how, but I don’t have my permit yet. I can’t get it till I turn 15.”

We spent over an hour talking about everything about ourselves, and frankly, I could talk to her all day, unlike Mathew. I will not interact with him unless I have to. If Miriam tells me to talk with him just for the heck of it or to get to know him, that is gonna involve a huge no coming out of my mouth.

Unfortunately, Hailey had to head on home. It made me wish she actually lived here. That way if Mom and Mathew do get married, she’d kind of get used to how things work with us. But she probably has to go home and study or something.

But either way, my mom really has gone her separate ways with my dad, hasn’t she...

Chapter Text

Saturday, March 4th, 2006.

1:46pm. Arnold & Helga’s room.

It’s safe to say that I had officially moved into Arnold’s room.

I would sleep with my mom and Olga, but in spite of mom selling the house while she was drunk, I absolutely didn’t want to after that. I think I’ve only slept in there once, but that was about it.

Plus, Arnold and I were so close that we hardly don’t fight about anything anymore. I mean we do about the bigger things in life once in a while, but not even the little things. I feel as if we’re the perfect couple, and of course I feel super comfortable with him too.

We’ve had no problem sleeping together either, and our parents haven’t caught us making out or anything either. Between our parents, Arnold’s were super laid back and didn’t mind that we even shared a room together. And Miriam just doesn’t care. And Olga would’ve been one of those big sister’s where she would probably have a problem with it. But because she absolutely adores Arnold and I together, she allowed it.

Everyone knew that Arnold and I would get together at some point, it all happened during the 8th grade anyway. Arnold and I became more close than ever, and everyone started noticing the signs that we liked each other, especially Gerald and Phoebe. They would notice anything about us and assume it was our crushes for each other.

Speaking of Gerald, him, Arnold, Miles and Phil we’re having a guys day out so it was pretty much me today. I would hang out with Phoebe, but she was busy. So I spent a lot of time in our room and played my guitar. It had to be the best present I’ve ever gotten, besides the gifts Arnold gave me as well.

I had my headphones in and I haven’t taken them off since early this morning. Pretty much since Arnold left, which was around 9 this morning. And so far, my fingers, hands, and wrist were so flexible that I’ve been able to play the Ride the Lightning album, Diary of a Madman album, Reinventing the Steel album, 1984 album, and Van Halen I album. Now I was playing Van Halen II, and I was singing the lyrics as I went along with the song Women in Love...

“All these crazy women

“One more crazy night

“But one night's all we're given

“So baby (Ahh) leave me alone, or baby, stay the night”

This had to be one of my favorite songs in the album, it brought me so much joy that I couldn’t express how great it really was.

“Oh baby, make up your mind (Make up your mind)

“I know you're in love (Oh, women in love)

“So baby, make up your mind (Women in love)”

I strung every string of the guitar like it was nothing. I do admit, some of Van Halen’s songs were a little harder to learn than most of the others because he’s technically one of the greatest guitar players ever, but this one was particularly easier. Plus I couldn’t not learn my favorite song. I also like Alex Van Halen's drum playing skills on this one.

I got to the part of the song where it was the small solo, and I had a trouble with that one the most because it was kind of hard to make it sound like how it does sound, but after a good bit a practice, and a lot of rewinding on my MP3 player, I finally got used to it.

I didn’t hear when someone knocked on the door though. Thankfully it was Olga, but she just bursted through like it was nothing.

“Criminy, Olga. You trying to give me a heart attack?” I told her as I tried to get my breathing back to normal.

“Sorry to bother you, baby sister. But Mathew and Hailey are here and said they wanted to see you again.”

I popped my head and it was the first time I took off my guitar that fast. I was only excited to see Hailey. I still vowed to myself never to speak to Mathew. Unless I had to.

“Oh, would you also like anything to eat?!” Olga yelled as I ran past her like I ran in a marathon.

“Not hungry!” I waved my hand to her. Stupid eating disorder.

I ran downstairs to see Miriam speaking with Mathew and Hailey in the kitchen, like I did when I had first met them. I promised Hailey the next time she came to see me that I could go get ice cream with her and that I show her how I play my guitar.

“Helga!” Hailey yelled, running to hug me. Now I wasn’t normally a big hugging person, unless it was family or Arnold. And since I wasn’t used to Hailey hugging me, I just didn’t hug her back like I used to do with the family when I was nine.

“Nice to see you again, Helga.” Mathew told me as he smiled. I just gave him a wave of my hand. He doesn’t deserve it, I admit. But I vowed, and I never break my vows.

What I know most about Hailey right now is that she’s only two years younger than me, she loves being around people but is shy when first meeting new people. Her favorite ice cream is cookie dough, she’s in the seventh grade, and her mother passed away a couple years ago. I need to know a little more about her so it won’t be awkward around each other, which is why I’m going to spend the next few hours with her.

“Can we get ice cream now?” She looked so excited. I’ll tell you, if my mom and Miles do get married, it’d be nice having her as a younger sister.

“I got my wallet, so let’s go search for the mean ol’ jolly olly man.” She giggled at that, and dragged me out the door as I yelled to mom we’d be back soon.

Meanwhile, mom and Mathew got some time to themselves. They both had cups of tea in the kitchen for a good bit, and really seemed to enjoy themselves. That was until Miriam soon started up a conversation that she was going to regret bringing up later.

“Boy I’ll tell you, Helga and Hailey would make great sisters don’t you think? I mean, they’re practically getting along great.” Miriam started saying, which took Mathew a bit by surprise when she mentioned the word sisters, which reminded him of marriage.

“Miriam, let me ask you something. Do you miss Bob? Like, at all?”

Miriam froze as she was pouring her second cup of tea. Hearing Mathew mentioned her ex husband caught her by surprise because she specifically told him not to mention it. But with all that was happening in her future, and the stuff that she might've been keeping from certain people, she might as well get things off her chest. Even if she didn’t really want to.

“After how he’s treated me for most of the years we were married? How he acted towards me and my daughter back in December? After all he’s done to “help” out this family? To answer your question...no, I do not.”

“What I’m really wondering is why you wanted to hook up with me even though we only met two weeks after your divorce. I don’t know, it just seemed a little too quick for you.”

“You don’t know anything about me, Mathew."

“That’s the thing, Miriam. I want to know more about you, I really do, and I’ve been doing some thinking recently. And I’ve come to the conclusion that we shouldn’t be together. Not at this moment at least.”

She turned around with a full expression of shock on her face, and anxiousness. “Mathew, what are you talking about?”

“Come on, Miriam. You know just as well as I do that we need to get to know each other better, and we need to know secrets that we want to tell each other. We need to know what we like to do, what are good and bad habits, what secrets we’re hiding that we want to tell people but just can’t. Stuff like that.”

“Fine! You want to know a secret? I’ll tell you a secret! I sold my old house on purpose!”

The look of shock looked just about the same as Miriam’s. And she has told him about the house, but she exaggerated some of it. “Wait, what? I thought you sold it while you were drunk?”

“Mathew, I may be a little stupid sometimes, but I’m not that stupid. I sold the house on purpose right when Bob moved out because I didn’t want to think of him when I walked inside there anymore. I don’t want to think of him ever. Which is why I also got Olga and Helga’s stuff out of there right then and there as well. I told them the movers boxed it all up, but I had been going there late at night just to collect their stuff up and make the movers bring it all together so it seemed believable. I feel so ashamed lying to both of them, but it was just to keep my fear away from them. Both girls love their dad so much, and I know how much he loves them too. Which is why I wanted them to get used to another man, but only Olga is fond of you. Which is a great start, but I’m afraid Helga is more of a rough patch, and likely won’t even talk to you unless she has to. So there you have it Mathew. That’s my big secret.”

He sat there, he didn’t even know what to say to her. But he did see that Miriam was now just sitting there, feeling ashamed of herself. She felt like crying, but she had to be strong for Mathew, even though her emotions were taking over her, she kept her tears in her eyes, wiping them away every time they’d roll down her cheek.

Finally, Mathew stood up, rubbing her back as he tried his best to comfort her. He hasn’t done anything like this with a woman since his wife died. It felt a little odd at first, just rubbing another woman's back, but the more he did it, the more comfortable he felt with Miriam.

“I’m sorry, Miriam. I know it must be tough to feel something like that much pain in your heart, especially since you’re afraid to tell your kids. But you can’t let it get to you like that. You need to stand up straight and tell your kids the truth about what happened, about why you’re really living here now.”

He was right, she couldn’t just sulk like this. The girls deserved to know the truth, but not right now. When the time was right, she would let them see the true reasoning behind all of this.

And of course we showed up at the worst time, because Hailey yelled, “We’re back!” while mom looked like she just had a mental breakdown. 

He whispered into Miriam’s ear, saying, “Remember, give us a break. We’re just friends for now. But once court is over with, we’ll talk about it. See you soon.” He kissed her on the cheek, then took Hailey quickly and walked out the door, not even giving me a chance to say goodbye to her.

I walked in the kitchen and saw mom really about to have a mental breakdown, like so much had just happened and I had no idea what they were talking about. “Mom? Are you okay?” I asked worriedly, suddenly wanting to comfort her.

It looked like she couldn’t hold back her tears anymore, because she sat right on the chair and started to have some kind of a panic attack, but started crying as well. I don’t want to say bawling, but more like, I need to let this go, kind of cry.

I had no idea what just went on, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t allowed to hug my own mother, which is exactly what I did. I hugged her when she hugged me back, and I held her like I didn’t want to hold anyone else. Because if I’m being honest, I’m starting to get a little worried about her.

10:27pm. Arnold’s room.

I was still practicing on my guitar, it was like I was in love with the thing. I guess in a way, I was. I’ve been wanting my own guitar since I started listening to the kind of music I listen to today.

It was late tonight and Arnold and the others still weren’t back yet. I know he was with his dad and grandfather, but I was a little worried about them. We’re they planning on coming back this late? If so, what were they doing anyway?

I didn’t want to think about it too much, knowing that they should be back soon since it was late, and that Arnold would need his girlfriend to sleep on. He loved laying on me, having his head on my chest. And I thought it was the cutest thing ever. Though as much as I dreamt I would do the same thing with Arnold, I figured out that I didn’t really like being bottom. For some reason it made me a little uncomfortable, unless Arnold were trying to comfort me in some way.

Now here I am, playing my guitar as I’m learning the song Streamline by System, one of my favorite songs ever. If you have listened to it too, you’d know what I mean when I say it sounds absolutely amazing. And plus it was kind of easy to learn, I’d been air guitaring it for as long as I can remember.

I had my headphones on blast and my guitar plugged into my amp that I had saved a good bit of money for the past few months. And I finally saw Arnold walk with a lot of stuff that he must have bought from the shops in Seattle. He said he wanted to go there and get me some things for my birthday, even though it wasn’t for another few weeks, but it was sweet of him.

He kept quiet as I was practicing as he unpacked everything and hid my presents in the closet. Once he was done he sat in his swivel chair and watched me as I practiced, eyeing more of my fingering at the guitar while I was playing the solo of Streamline.

He kept looking at me with the look of love, as I mentioned many times before, but each time just kept looking cuter and cuter. That goofy smile, those heart shaped eyes, everything that made me swoon over that beloved football headed god. Oh Arnold, you really do make my girlhood tremble, and I’d do anything with you and for you; whatever your kind and gentle heart desires.

I finally got done and turned down the volume of my MP3 player and cleaned up all my gear and set it aside. Once I got done I grabbed my pjs—meaning one of Arnold’s t-shirts and pajama pants—and closed the door just to change. I figured letting Arnold see me with my shirt off, only to have my back turned to him, would make him flush a bit, and it’d definitely make me giggle.

“So how was your guys' day out?” I asked, and I couldn’t help but try and peek at him to see how flushed he looked. And just as I suspected, he looked like he couldn’t speak a word.

“Uhm, i-it was good. Gerald and I found this huge arcade and played almost every game there and won a lot of tickets. So we saved up enough and got lots of mini prizes that we were eyeing.” Arnold laughed to himself, which made me smile warmly.

I wasn’t surprised when I saw that he looked tired. He definitely had a busy day today and needed a chest to lay on. So once I was done putting everything away, I walked over to him, pushing his hair with both hands and told him with a whisper, “Get changed and I’ll put on a movie for the both of us with popcorn.”

I could tell he didn’t know how to react, so what I did was lean in and kiss him, just because I haven’t gotten to kiss him all day, and I felt like I needed one badly after all that happened with Miriam.

I moved my right hand to his cheek while my left hand went behind his head and played with his hair. Arnold's arms were wrapped around my waist as always, and I really liked it when he did that. It felt comforting to me in a way.

After I broke apart from this kiss, I saw a little bit of the eye bags underneath his eyes and knew he needed sleep. Which is why I suggested the movie. Who hasn’t fallen asleep to a movie playing in the background?

“Yeah, I’d like that. I’m a bit tired though, so I might not eat much popcorn.” He told me, he even sounded a bit tired. Which brought back bad memories of the nightmares he used to have, but I knew they didn’t happen anymore, so there was nothing to worry about.

I smiled warmly at him and kissed him on the cheek and forehead, and maybe the nose too. And on the lips again. That’s all I wanted to do with him, just kiss his beautiful football head of his. I love him that much.

I was about to walk off until he tightened his grip on me and laid his head on my chest, practically burying his face in. Either he was really tired, or really clingy. Or both. Which I rather enjoyed.

“Hey, what’s up with ya, Hair Boy?” Another nickname I used to call him. I kind of forgot about that one actually.

“I just really missed you. Believe me, I like spending time with others, but I’ve really missed you a lot today.”

My heart just started beating faster and faster, my face was getting warmer by the second. I wanted to kiss him again so badly, I wanted to do whatever I could to him, and I shouldn’t even be thinking about that kind of stuff yet. But I think about those things anyway, probably more than most teens do. And trust me, I think about doing things with Arnold almost 24/7. Oh, Arnold. I could do so much to you that you wouldn't be able to imagine how much experience I actually have.

And he was just so damn hard to resist, that I almost moaned by accident.

But the thing I did anyway, was wrap my arms around him again and told him softly, “Yeah, I missed you too, Arnold.”

After a few moments of just enjoying each other's company, Arnold was downstairs getting the stuff ready for the movie we were watching. It was Back to the Future, such a good movie. My dad and I used to watch it when I was around 11 or 12, it was one of his favorites.

But in that short time he was downstairs, I managed to play a little solo from my guitar from the song Flying High Again by Ozzy. And when Arnold came back up with the popcorn, I swear he looked more in love than he ever had. Either he was that tired, or he was just that in love with me.

But either way, I put those things away and turned off all the lights. I put in the dvd and got as comfortable as I could, with Arnold laying on me of course. We just chilled out and watched one of my favorite movies. And after about little over half an hour into the film, Arnold had fallen asleep peacefully on me.

I couldn’t help it. The way he calmly slept on my chest, the way his hair was a bit messy, the way he held on to me to tell me how much he truly loves me, every bit of it was a memorable thing I shared with him practically every night. He truly was the perfect boy for me, and I think I was the perfect girl for him.

Chapter Text

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006.

1:30pm. School.

How the heck am I turning 15 in three days?

No like I’m genuinely asking. It was just Christmas not that long ago. And now my birthday is this Saturday. I don’t get it. And while I’m thinking about that and my beloved boyfriend, I’m sitting here in my classroom bored as hell and wanting to do something other than just sit here.

We didn’t get out for our next class for another half an hour and I’m tired of learning about Algebra equations. So I had one headphone in from my MP3 player in, half paying attention while also doodling and air guitaring parts of the songs I was listening to. Mainly Ashes of the Wake from Lamb of God. Believe me, I seriously didn’t care. I was good at math anyway, so I wasn’t worried.

As I was doodling, I was also thinking about how it’s been almost a year since Arnold and I first got together. We’ve been dating for almost 10 months now, and I’m surprised we haven’t done anything past neck kisses. Luckily, I’ll be the one to change that. I chuckled to myself as the teacher told me to pay attention.

Other than Harold, there wasn’t really anyone I liked talking to in here. So you could say I was a loner in this class, but I didn’t care. I had my own stuff to think about and to do without anyone getting in the way. Just as long as my teacher doesn’t assign us to any kind of partner activity, which she hasn’t all year, then I’m all good.

“Alright class! Today we’re going to do something a little different that I have organized for you all for this week’s lesson. Today as I’m handing out your worksheets, I will be assigning you partners to help each for this worksheet!”

If I could jump out the window, I would.

Today I wore Arnold’s white Metallica t-shirt along with jean shorts that went down to my knees, white ankle socks along with nike air force 1’s that I got for Christmas. I couldn’t look more like a guy when I did this partner pairing, but like I care anyway. I always look like this. I’m a tomboy after all.

“Alright, let's start the pairing! John, you go with Betty.”

As long as I don’t get her...

“Nick, go with Harold.”

I’ll be fine.

“Helga, you go with Lila.”

Fucking hell.

See I’m allowed to say that for a good reason. I hate Lila Sawyer. So I just sat there, until the teacher said something a minute later.

“Helga, I said you go with Lila.”

“But miss, do I have to?”

“Unless you want a good grade on this, you don’t have to work with Ms. Sawyer.”

My arms were crossed, my face had no expression. I looked at Lila, who I saw smirking at me, like she had something to tell me or that she was going to laugh at me any moment.

When I looked back at my teacher, her eyebrows were raised and looked ready to give me that failing grade. So I finally picked myself up and grabbed the paper and my music and started walking towards Lila, that was until she snatched my MP3 player out of my hands, which made the earbud rip out of my ear.

“Ow! Give that back!” I tried to grab it, but with her quick reflexis she pulled her arm back away from me.

“You’ll get it back at the end of the class.”

Oh my god, something that every teacher tells you. She didn’t pick on me before, why is she doing it now? You know what? I don’t care, there was only 25 minutes left anyway. And if I can snatch it from her desk earlier than that, then so be it.

I finally made my way towards Lila as I practically threw my stuff on the desk next to her and sat down aggressively.

“Awe, what’s the matter Helga? You seem oh so mad for some reason.”

“Shut up, you saw what happened.”

“Alright class, begin!” The teacher yelled.

As the minutes went by, Lila and I didn’t speak one word to each other. She just kept laughing at me for what happened. I don’t know why though, that had already passed by like 10 minutes ago.

While the teacher was helping another student, I kept my focus directly on her while I walked to her desk, secretly looking for my MP3 player. Today wasn’t the best day since I haven’t seen Arnold since this morning. He couldn’t come to lunch because he got lunch detention for getting 5 tardy for being late to class. All of the reasons were because we kind of made out either outside or in the hallways. Heh, great moments they were.

I was able to snatch my Mp3 player right from the teacher's desk and put in one headphone so that I could hear Lila if she needed help with anything from the stupid worksheet. I hated the girl but it was rude not to help someone.

Finally she spoke to me after a few minutes since I came back. And of course it was about Arnold. “How have you two been?”

I couldn’t help but put my pencil down and how much I wanted to tell her that she’ll never ever get together with him. Ever. But I had to keep my cool, even if this was a shit day. “We’re good.”

“Just good? Not great? Or anything like that?”

“Why are you even asking me this, Lila? It’s not like we’ve gotten any closer these past few years. And I know you still like Arnold.”

“Woah, jumping to the point here I see. Well if you must know, I do still like him. And I’m planning on coming over and spending time with him maybe in a couple weeks or something.”

My heart skipped a beat. He probably wouldn’t go for it, but you never know with him. Like I’ve said before, he’s kind hearted. Plus they were friends, so it’s likely they’d do that. But Arnold knows she likes him, so maybe not? I don’t know.

Was she trying to make me jealous? Because it wasn’t exactly working, it was just making me annoyed that she was still trying even though everyone in our friend group knew we’ve been going out for almost a year now. Rhonda asks both of us for updates like once a month, and told us specific details from Arnold’s birthday and Christmas, and probably will ask for specific details after my birthday.

“Well have fun trying to convince him to actually go out with you for the day. Who knows? I might plan a date for us then.” I chuckled to myself.

“Then I’ll just plan for the week after that.” She smirked, there was no getting through to her. That’s kind of how she always was.

“You know you aren’t so lucky that I’m in a shit mood today. But since you and Arnold are still somewhat friends I’ll let this once slide. But the next time it’s like this, you might get a taste of ole' Betsy here.” I told her as I put my fist in her face.

She giggled like she was still in the fourth grade, and said exactly what Arnold would say to me at times. “Whatever you say, Helga.”

Now I hated her even more for copying Arnold.

Finally the time had passed and the bell rang at 2:00. Which means it was time to go find Arnold! The teacher called for me, but I honestly didn’t care. I finished my work, I did what I was supposed to. Whatever she had to tell me she could tell me the next time I saw her.

I looked at the clock. It was 2:01. I saw for some reason Lila following me, and I knew she was following me because she had been stopping and walking the same speed I had been since we left the classroom. But that didn’t stop me from finding my beloved. Until I saw him at his locker.

A smile came on my face immediately, and I had the amazing urge to run towards him, grab his arm, and pull him to where we got some privacy. The janitors closet. Luckily he grabbed all his stuff, I don’t want him getting lunch detention again. Otherwise who knows how many days I’ll sit practically by myself—of course I’m joking.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him like I never had before. Of course he knew it was me, because who else would just do that all of a sudden? Plus we went into the janitors closet all the time.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in all the way. Nothing different than what we always did, but it just made my heart beat faster every time. God I loved him.

We finally broke apart, and we looked each other in the eyes. Two teens who were so in love with each other. It’d be anybody’s dream come true.

I just hugged him after that, leaning my forehead on his shoulder. I seriously needed it right now. I could feel his head lean near my neck when I heard him ask me, “Bad day?”

“Oh believe it, hair boy. Not only haven’t I seen you since this morning, but my gym teacher made us do an obstacle course today, which wasn’t good for me since it’s that time of the month. Then I didn’t have enough money to pay for lunch, which I know the lunch people wouldn’t just let you starve like that, but I didn’t want to get anything without paying, so I’m starving. Which is bad because I’ve been getting better with my eating disorder. Then my math teacher took my MP3 player and paired me with Lila on a math worksheet. Ugh.”

The name caught him by surprise. “I didn’t know she was in your math class.”

“Yeah, but I never talk to her because she has a big fat crush on you.”

“That’s probably a good thing. I haven’t talked to her much since the beginning of the school year because I know how clingy she gets when she likes someone.”

“You better not choose her over me.” My voice at first sounded mad, but it kind of dimmed down to a hurt way.

Arnold then kissed me, but it was a soft, gentle kiss. I loved it when he kissed me like that. It made all the butterflies in my stomach fly around everywhere twice as fast.

“Helga. I could never leave you like that. You know that you mean more to me than you’ll ever know, and that I love you so much. More than myself most of the time.” He gave me a warm smile, which caused me to smile. He was truly the sweetest boy to ever exist.

I started giving him neck kisses out of excitement, which made him put one arm around my neck while the other played with my hair. Oh my god, I really did love things like this.

He swallowed nervously as his face began to turn red, but then I had to stop all of a sudden, just to look at my watch and tell him, “Time for class, Hair Boy.” I winked at him as I placed my pointer and middle fingers under his chin, pulling it up so he could get a good look at me.

He looked at me baffled, now having to walk in the hallway looking like a tomato. But I was happy to walk with him as he looked that way.

“You’re so mean.”

“You know how I am.” I smirked right at him.

As I interlocked my hand with his, he had an amazing idea. “Helga, I want to propose an idea.”

“Oh? Let’s hear this amazing idea of yours, Football Head.”

“If you can go until Saturday without kissing me, then I’ll do whatever you want with you on that whole day, since it’s your birthday.”

“Oh, so you want to be that way with me? I hear you, Football Head. Of course you can’t kiss me either, you know.”

“I know. I can resist it. You on the other hand, I’m not really sure.” He smirked at me. He was serious about this, I’ll show him.

“Oh we’ll see about that, Football Head!” I stuck my hand so he could shake it, to make it official.

“And of course we’ll still get to do other stuff like cuddles and hugs, kissing is not allowed until Saturday.”

“You’re on, Arnoldo.”

Friday, March 24th, 2006.

11:55pm. The balcony.

It had felt just like it had felt on that early Christmas morning. I’m standing on the balcony with my pajama pants and Arnold’s t-shirt, but instead of hot cocoa, I just have a bottle of water.

I can say that I’ve hardly eaten anything for the past week, but that’s because I’ve been kind of worried about my mom. She’s looked like she’s felt guilty for something. But if she did, I don’t know what the reason would be. I’ve been comforting her for the past couple days, and I think she’s felt a little better, but not as much.

So yeah, my eating disorder’s been catching up with me quite a bit. I’ve only been eating dinner and maybe a couple snacks before then. Other than that, only one meal each day this week.

But I didn’t want to think about that right now. I wanted to think about the fact that I’m gonna be 15 in four minutes. And that I was gonna finally gonna get to kiss Arnold after all this waiting. I know it’s only been since Wednesday that I haven’t kissed him, but I enjoy it so much it’s become a hobby at this point.

It was a partly cloudy night, but I could still see the stars in a way. It was a perfect 72 degrees, and I felt more comfortable than I could ever be.

I checked the time, and it was only three more minutes until it was officially my birthday. And while I thought of that, I also wondered what people were going to do for my birthday. Was I gonna go out for dinner? Was I going shopping with someone? Who knows. I think Olga wanted to do something with me for my birthday last year, but she was still in Alaska, so I kind of got it. It was still nice of her to think of me like that though.

11:58pm. Time seemed like it was going by fast and slow at the same time. But it was only two minutes away.

It was then I heard Arnold coming out here with me. He shut the door quietly and when he walked over he hugged me from behind. I couldn’t help but have that goofy smile on my face, feeling so loved by him. I could feel my cheeks heat up, and when I checked the time, it was only one minute till my birthday.

As he hugged me, I could feel him about to give me kisses on my neck, but it wasn’t midnight yet. And I thought it was funny how he even remembered that. And once I checked the time once more, it was officially midnight. Arnold saw the time as well, and whispered to me, “Happy 15th Birthday, Beautiful,” and started giving me neck kisses.

Beautiful. That was the first time he’s ever called me that. And oh my god, did I like it.

I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea what’s up with him. I love how clingy he’s been, he’s too cute like that. But in a way, I always wonder why he’s been this way. He wasn’t this clingy when we first got together, or even before we got together of course. But maybe now that we’re even closer than before, and that we already knew a lot about each other then, that he’s been able to actually show his love to someone.

I did feel kind of bad that none of the girls liked him back before. He’s so sweet and charming. Like, what the heck? He’s just lucky he’s going out with someone who can give him unconditional love.

“Thanks, Arnold. It makes me wonder what I’m gonna do for my birthday. What mom and Olga have planned for me. If my dad decides to come back here for a couple days to do something with me.”

“Maybe they will. I asked my parents if we could all go out for your birthday. Like maybe to your favorite restaurant or something, and I’ll pay for your food and mine.”

“You don’t mean that. I mean the part about paying for my food.”

“Anything for you, Helga. That’s why I’ve been saving up my money. So you can get anything you want. Nothing above 300 dollars though.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Wow, Football Head. I’d figured you’d be rich by now.” I told him as I gave him a playful smirk.

“You can forget about that then.”

“No, no. It’s a great present, Arnoldo. I love it.”

He sighed heavily as he kissed the back of my neck once more.

This would definitely be one interesting birthday, now that I had a boyfriend and that my parents were divorced.

8:00am.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY SISTER!”

I don’t think I jumped so much just to be woken up by my sister. And she woke Arnold too. Perfect.

“Criminy, Olga! Don’t just barge in here like that!” Thankfully Olga knew that we slept together. Actually, she and Miriam were the only ones in my family who knew I slept with him. So when my sister suddenly decided to excitedly yell at me at 8am, it wasn’t so awkward.

“I can’t help it now that my baby sister is now 15 years old! You’re finally old enough to drive now! I can’t believe it!” She ran over and hugged me. And by hugging me, I mean she squashed my head against her chest.

Arnold was trying to see what exactly was going on, and I couldn’t help but smile at how cute he looked. Yes he was awoken by my loud sister, but when he let his head fall back on the pillow, I saw him reach for my arm like he wanted to cuddle more. He’s such a Football Head.

“Okay, but can you give me at least another half an hour before we do something for my birthday today?” I asked her the nicest way possible. And I knew she was going to try and make me get out of bed earlier than 30 minutes, but it wasn’t happening.

“Oh come on, baby sister! At least 15 minutes?”

“30.”

“20 minutes?”

“Olga, I want 30.”

“Fineee! At least it’ll give me time to prepare breakfast for you!” She yelled as she ran out of the room, slamming the door. It didn’t even phase either of us.

“What was all that about?” Arnold asked, still sleepy.

“Olga does that every year.” I told him as I scooted closer to him and wrapped my arms around him, letting his head fall on my chest. “Every year she always comes barging into my room and yells happy birthday to me super early in the morning. This year she did it a little late. Usually it’s 7am.”

“Sounds like my parents. When I turned 12 they started doing the same thing. And my grandparents used to do it as well before we went to San Lorenzo.” He explained it to me.

“Heh, what a coincidence, Football Head.” Now I was a little more away than Arnold was. Only because the sleepiness was going away, while Arnold kept falling back asleep.

“But either way, happy birthday, Angel.” He still had the cute, sleepy voice. But he pulled his head up just so he could kiss me. Oh my god he’s so freaking cute. We were kissing for a good few minutes before he finally laid his head back against my chest. My heart was just beating so fast, my head was all over the place, and my mind was just screaming Arnold.

That was also the first time he’s ever called me Angel as well. Him calling me nicknames always made my heart skip a beat. He called me Angel and Beautiful. While I called him Football Head, Hair Boy, Paste for Brains, and so on. Eh, it’s good enough. If I wanna call him babe any time soon I probably would.

I sighed sarcastically as I saw Arnold falling back asleep. I knew I had to get ready. It was already 8:10, and I figured it’d make Olga happy if I went downstairs earlier than I said it would. “Alright, Arnold. I gotta get ready.” I told him as I smiled warmly.

He hugged me a bit tighter and told me, “Noooo,” still in his sleepy voice. He must not have gotten good sleep last night. I haven’t seen him this tired since- wait a minute...

“Arnold, you seem really tired this morning. You by any chance didn’t have those nightmares again, did you?” I looked at him worried. He was doing so good without PTSD, I didn’t want him to have it again.

“No, Helga, it’s not that. I don’t know why, I just really didn’t get good sleep last night. There isn’t any particular reason for it.”

“Are you sure? Because you know I’m always here to help if your PTSD is the reason.” He gave me a warm smile, knowing that I did care for him very much.

“I’m positive, Helga. I wouldn’t be lying about something like that, you know. And today’s not about me, it’s about you. And what we’re going to do for your birthday today.” He kept smiling.

I smiled back at him as I interlocked my hands with his, and kissed him once more before I finally got up to get ready. Arnold laid back down since he was still a little tired.

I felt more than comfortable changing in here with him in the room. From the start I was changing in the bathroom of course, but he’s my boyfriend, and I started getting more comfortable changing around him now that we shared his room together.

I took off my shirt, exposing the upper part of my body. Of course I had my back turned, but Arnold still seemed to look shocked, and I even saw the red across his cheeks as well. I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit.

I’ve got to stop wearing Arnold’s t-shirts so much. But first of all, he had so many of them, he could survive without them. And second of all, they went well with some outfits I’ve been wearing here lately.

Today I wore his white Metallica shirt over a black long sleeve shirt because it just looked that cool. Along with cargo shorts that went down to my knees, and then my nikes. I thought the outfit was cute, and I think Arnold did too. Because he was still blushing.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and turned towards him and asked, “Well, what do you think, Arnold?”

“I love it, Helga. It seems so you.” He replied. I could tell that it was the truth he was speaking. He knew I’ve always wanted to dress like an actual tomboy. And now that I am, it just seems like something I’d do all the time. I also think Arnold found it cute that I dressed like this, so yeah.

“Awe, thanks Arnoldo.” I kissed him on the cheek as I headed to the door before telling him, “I’ll meet you downstairs for breakfast.” And he nodded at me once I shut the door to let him get ready.

I walked downstairs to smell one of the most delicious scrambled eggs I ever smelled. And I knew that smell wasn’t just any kind of smell, it was Olga’s cooking.

Oh my god, Olga’s cooking was the literal best. She made everything with such a great taste that it just melted in your mouth. And right now, I could smell the scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and sausage that she prepared.

I walked into the kitchen to see that almost everyone was waiting in the kitchen, all except Suzie and Oskar, and of course, Arnold. So I sat next to my mom and she gave me a huge hug.

“Happy birthday, sweetie!” She said happily. She seemed to be doing a lot better than when she was a few weeks ago, which was also the last time I saw Miles and Hailey. I keep wondering how Hailey’s doing.

“Thanks, mom. You seem to be doing better than how you felt those few weeks ago.” I mentioned, and that was the first time I’ve seen her truly smile in a long time.

“I’m doing much better! I’ve been taking some time to myself and just learning more about myself and doing a lot of thinking as well.” She told me, and I couldn’t be more proud.

“First plate goes to the birthday girl!” Olga suddenly yelled out, holding a steamy hot plate full of the good ol’ fashioned breakfast, and my personal favorite.

She placed my plate in front of me and hugged me once more, wishing me another happy birthday. I thanked her and took that first bite of her scrambled eggs. As I said before, it melts in your mouth, and it definitely did with mine. I loved Olga’s cooking almost as much as I did Arnold. And that’s a true statement.

Finally Oskar and Suzie came down and saw everyone patiently waiting for their food as they also saw me enjoying every bite of mine. Oskar came over and tried to hug me for some weird reason, and I thankfully shoved him away.

It’s like, every time we’re both in the dining area, he’s always trying to touch me. What a throw pillow.

“Oskar, why is it that every time you and Helga are in the same room together, you always try to touch her?” Suzie asked him annoyingly.

“Yeah, Kokoshka. You can be a big creep sometimes.” Earnie told him, and everybody nodded in agreement.

“Oh, I just wanted to tell the blonde girl happy birthday is all! Ehehehe.” He told everyone.

“Helga, Mr. Kokoshka. It’s Helga. And you can just tell me happy birthday. You don’t have to try and hug me.”

“I wasn’t going to hug you! Leave me alone!” Oskar yelled as he suddenly smelled Olga’s cooking in the kitchen.

“Anyways Helga. Happy birthday. You think 15’s a big deal? Just wait till you turn 16! I had a friend in high school who turned 16, and threw this huge sweet 16 party for the whole class.” I really liked Earnie, same with the rest of the borders. Other than Oskar of course. They were all so nice and friendly to one another. Well, most of the time. And they all treat Arnold like he was their own kid. I’d call them a family of my own once in a while.

“Really?” I asked curiously.

“Yes ma’am. But there was only one person she didn’t invite.”

“And who was that?”

“Me. Because I was too short to get invited.”

When I tell you I was trying my hardest not to laugh, I meant it.

“Boy would I have loved to go to that party.”

“But you couldn’t because you were just too short. Like you are now. Ehehehe.” Oskar told him, eating a piece of toast that Olga made.

“I may be shorter than you, but my fists are surely bigger than yours, Kokoshka. And you know those sandwiches you always ask for? I could give you one right now!” Ernie yelled as he started to chase after him. This was a fantastic family.

Eventually Arnold came down and Olga had served everyone their breakfast. They all complimented my sister for her cooking, and I didn’t doubt them one bit for doing so. It was that good.

Once everyone was done with their breakfast, Arnold and I left to go meet up with Phoebe and Gerald and go to the Pier for a little while. We all went on the ferris wheel while riding some of the other rides too. We played some of the arcade games, and Arnold won me a stuffed animal turtle. He was so freaking cute, and I named him Timothy.

Our last stop while we were at the pier was to go by the photo booth. So Gerald and Phoebe went first and got their pictures done. Next it was just Arnold and I. First we made ridiculous faces, then did one of us when Arnold told me this really cringy joke. The third was us actually taking a normal photo, along with Timothy of course. And the final one was us sharing a soft and sweet kiss. My favorite. Of course we took photos of us four together too. And we specifically requested we get four copies each.

Next we went to the movies and watched the new Evil Twins movie. Arnold was such a gentleman I swear. He bought us a large popcorn with candy and a large drink for the both of us. Same with Gerald when he bought things for him and Phoebe.

There was a scene in the movie where I had a few jump scares. But this one scene in the middle of the movie really made me nervous, and made me jump to the point where I was holding Arnold’s hand. He then interlocked it with mine, and I was swooning over him like crazy. I could hardly focus on the movie for the next five minutes.

Finally, all four of us went to the roller rink to find out the rest of our friend group was waiting for us there. I wouldn’t exactly say they threw me a party, but they wanted to say happy birthday to me. And I couldn’t be more happy, especially on how we all used to be in the fourth grade.

And of course, Lila was there. It’s true she’s part of the friend group too, but all she was going to do was stare at Arnold for most of the time until we left.

The first time she came by she said hi to Arnold and wished me a happy birthday. Then the next two times she’s just been trying to get Arnold away from me. Arnold did talk with Lila some the second time she came to us, but the third time he kind of backed off because he knew what she was trying to do. I swear that girl will never learn. I swear she should crawl back to Arnie.

Arnold took me to the middle of the rink and we started dancing as the music played. We did such a good job that everyone started to cheer, and I could see the look on Lila’s face that she was getting jealous. But I was too busy thinking about that when Arnold leaned in and kissed me. Which made all our friends cheer more.

“Happy birthday, Beautiful.” He told me once more. He smiled so sweetly.

“How many times are you going to tell me this?” I asked him, smiling sweetly as well.

“Until the day is officially over.” He told me confidently. Then he took my hand and we skated around some more. Of course with Lila watching us as well. She was starting to be a bit like Brainy when he suddenly creeped up on me every time I swooned over Arnold in the 4th grade. I never thought a sweet girl like her would be like Brainy.

Once it was around 2:00, our friends left the rink, wishing me a happy birthday once more, and a couple of our friends even gave me small gifts. Surprisingly it was Harold and Stinky.

“We wanted to, I guess, thank you for being our friend for that long. Madam Fortress Mommy.” Why does he even call me that?

“I reckon I oughta thank you for everything that you’ve helped me with in life before, Helga. And I rather apologize for my actions back in the fourth grade when I had a crush on you and was actin’ a bit crazy.” Stinky told me.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Stinky. It’s normal for people to have crushes. It’s all water under the bridge.” I told him as we hugged. And that was also the first time I’ve hugged another boy before. Stinky was a good person, though. And there was no reason to feel awkward with him. I guess I can consider him one of my closest friends.

“Well, see you in gym class on Monday, Helga!” Stinky told me as he and Harold were walking out the door.

“Bye guys! Thanks for the gifts!” I yelled back to them.

“I can’t believe you’re one of the last people to turn 15 in our friend group. I didn’t think you were that young. Anyway, happy birthday, Helga.” Rhonda told me as she walked to the exit.

“Gee, Rhonda. That was so thoughtful of you to say. I told her sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.

“Why thank you!” She said, taking it as a compliment for some reason.

“I had a great time with you guys. I hope we can do something like this again soon. Wishing you another happy birthday, Helga!” Lila told me. “And I’ll see you soon, Arnold.” She told him as she winked at him, walking out the exit. Both Arnold and I looked at each other with a disgusted look on our faces and laughed at how weird it was for Lila to still have a crush on him.

Gerald, Phoebe, Arnold and I went by the music shop on our way home and Arnold, being more of the gentleman he was, bought me another CD. Lord, he's so sweet. He bought me a System CD, which is literally named System of a Down. But it’s so good. I love that and him so much.

We went back to our place and played some video games for about an hour, until we just got kind of wrapped up in having this huge conversation about our friend group. Talking about each one of everyone in there, our personal opinions about them.

Until the clock struck 5 o’ clock, and Arnold took me downstairs to see that everyone was ready to go out. I had no idea where we were going, until we got to a kind of fancy restaurant that was in Seattle.

I sat next to Phoebe and Arnold and I was pleased with all the food that I ordered. The restaurant employees sang happy birthday to me, along with a lot of customers. And once we got done with our food, Arnold paid for me again! Which was odd because his parents and a couple of the boarders were paying for the food. But I just let him do his thing, you know. Him a gentleman and all.

We stayed out late because Miriam and Olga wanted to take me shopping for a bit. So I got a few new t-shirts so I could stop stealing Arnold’s—though I’d probably keep doing it—and I got a monster energy drink. I haven't had one before but I was curious to try it. And a couple packs of Pokemon cards as well. I say I came out pretty good.

On the way back, Miles dropped off Gerald and Phoebe at their homes, and both wished me one more happy birthday. I had to say, Gerald was one of my best friends. Of course he was always going to be Arnold’s number one best friend, but us four had developed quite a friend group. It felt nice to be a part of a friend group.

It was around 10:30 when we got home. Seattle and Hillwood were a little far from each other, but Miriam knew that I wanted to visit Seattle. So I guess she told Miles and Stella about it, and made plans to go.

And so everyone wished me one more happy birthday before Arnold and I ran up to our room giggling. We flopped on the bed sighing as I kept thinking about how amazing of a birthday this was. We had gotten home just in time too. It all of a sudden started pouring rain, and it was supposed to go on for at least most of the night.

Arnold sat up and asked me, “So? Was this a great day for you?”

“Are you kidding? It was amazing! All the things you three planned, and what we did afterward with all the borders! I assume my mom came up with the idea for the Seattle thing, but that doesn’t matter! It was all amazing!”

“I’m glad you feel that way. Because it was actually all me who planned it.”

I started to get confused. “Huh? What are you talking about?”

“I planned all this out. Last week I talked with Phoebe and Gerald and asked if they’d like to join us for our outing. I told them we’d go to the Pier early in the morning and then the movies. Next we let our whole friend group know about how your birthday was today and told them if they’d like to go to the roller rink with us then they’re invited. And everyone came like I hoped they would!

“And finally, I remember you saying how you’ve been wanting to go to Seattle, but for some reason never got the chance. So I found a restaurant with the kind of food that everyone all liked, and let Miriam and Olga know that if they wanted to take you shopping that the restaurant was near a downtown mall. And they loved the idea. So my dad and grandpa got the gas tanks filled up this morning so they could drive us to Seattle.

I wanted to make this a special birthday for you since it was your first birthday that we were officially a couple. And as your boyfriend, I felt the need to make this the most amazing birthday possible. So, happy birthday, Helga. You’ve made these nine months the most amazing time I’ve ever lived.”

I kissed him. I literally couldn’t hold my love for him much longer. I planted one on him like I did in FTI. I can’t explain how much my heart was pounding, and how much my lips were longing to touch his and kiss that football headed boyfriend of mine.

Suddenly we were French kissing. He put his hands around my waist and pulled me closer as I put one hand on his cheek and the other behind his head, playing with his hair. But then he pulled me to the point where I was sitting on his. Sitting. On his. LAP.

My mind was going crazy, my heart was pounding, my breath was heavy, my eyes were full of love, my face was already starting to get red. I was nervous yet also excited. This was the first time Arnold had done something like this, and I was curious if he was willing to move on or if he wanted to stay like this.

And I kept thinking he wanted to stay that way until he suddenly asked me, “If you’re comfortable enough, there’s one last gift I want to give you for this special day. What do you say?”

The way I replied yes so quickly is not even funny.

I placed both of my hands on his cheeks and started making out with him so quickly that...you know I don’t even know at this point. My mind was just all over the place.

I will say it did feel weird sitting on my boyfriend’s lap. I guess maybe because I’ve never sat on him before and that I just wasn’t used to it. I have no idea. But maybe if I did it more often I’ll get more comfortable with it. Oh that’ll be something to ask him often from now on.

He pulled me even closer than before, and he could tell my breath was a bit ragged. So he broke apart from my lips and moved down to my neck. He started normal and just did regular neck kisses, tongue and all that. My heart was beating more rapidly than ever as my arms were now wrapped around his neck. That was, until he bit my neck softly, then a little harder. Which caused me to moan softly. Making one of my hands being placed at the back of his head, playing with his hair.

He brought his head back up and kissed me once again. I felt so many emotions, but mainly excitement. This was something I had always dreamed of doing with Arnold. And now it was finally happening. Well, some of it might happen, but not all of it at least. We’ll get to that part later.

After a few minutes of making out it was my turn of giving his neck kisses. I leaned down and I tried to do what Arnold did, and he seemed to really enjoy it. I could feel his breath against the top of my head as his hands were rubbing my back. When I bit his neck, he did what I did and moaned softly, gripping both his hands on my shoulders.

I then moved to another spot on his neck and did the exact same thing. This time I made him moan just a bit louder. I honestly didn’t mean to, but it was like music to my ears and I couldn’t help but giggle at it.

When we started making out again, I felt him trying to readjust himself, but didn’t exactly work out. So instead he pushed me off him to let me lay down on the bed. Now I was seeing him on top of me, his breath a less ragged than mine, wanting more. And when I tell you my face had never been more red before, I really meant it.

He then leaned down and we started making out again. This was probably one of the most exciting times of my life. Especially that Arnold was with me right here, right now. I wanted to scream for everyone to hear, because it was just that exciting.

But it all of a sudden got more exciting when he started kissing me below the neck to my chest and near my breasts. As he placed his hands to where he was about to take off my shirt, he asked me, “Are you okay with this?”

I couldn’t be more calm when I told him, “Yeah, I am,” even though I wanted to scream that at him in excitement.

He proceeded to take off both my shirts and started rubbing up and down my waist and my stomach. My eyes have never been filled with so much love, and my mouth has never wanted my lips to par with his so badly before.

He continued to kiss me in the chest area, then near my breasts once again. My breath started getting heavier. I controlled my hands to stay put, not wanting to grab his hair just for kissing my chest. He then suddenly pulled me up and placed me on his lap again. It felt more comfortable than before.

He kissed my neck again as he undid my bra. I swallowed nervously, not sure if this was really what I wanted him to see yet. And I think he felt the swallow, because I hadn’t felt him unclip my bra yet while he looked up at me.

“Are you comfortable with me taking this off? It’s totally okay if you aren’t, you know.” He smiled warmly. It was thundering outside as it poured rain, a few lightning strikes here and there. Dark stormy nights around 11pm were my favorite kinds of nights, and I figured it’d be even better if this were happening.

“Yeah,” I leaned in and kissed him, reassuring him, “I’m more than comfortable with it. It’s just nerves getting in the way, you know? We’ve never done this so...”

“Yeah, I understand. But just in case if you do get too uncomfortable, just tap on my shoulder, okay? Because I might get really into this. I’ve been wanting to do this with you since I thought of the idea.” His eyes were full of love again, and I knew he was speaking the truth too.

I smirked as I told him, “Take off my bra, Arnoldo.”

He wrapped his arms around once more, kissing my neck as his fingers messed with the measly little strap on my back. I moaned a bit louder than I anticipated, but it was probably to Arnold’s liking. Which meant I had to make him moan louder than me, but not too loud to where people might start hearing us.

Once he finally got the strap undone, he completely took off my bra, exposing what was finally letting his eyes see probably the beauty of me. I assumed that’s what he was gonna call it.

His eyes sparkled as his face was full of surprise. He swallowed nervously as his face had gotten a bit more red. The blush was all across his cheeks, and on the tips of his ears as well. I felt his grip loosen up as he started putting his hands on my waist, getting super close to my breasts.

His fingers started sliding up towards my breasts this time as I swallowed nervously. I never thought how smooth the Football Head could get. That was, until he cupped breasts, THEN STARTED KISSING ME AGAIN.

I felt like I was going to EXPLODE. This is Arnold we’re talking about. The most pure hearted guy in all of P.S. 118. Oh he was pure hearted all right, especially for something like this. And tell me he wanted to do this. My nine year old heart wouldn’t be able to take it. She would pass out and who knows when she would wake up.

I had a hard time kissing him back, assuming he was actually holding my breasts with his bare hands. It was also so hard not to moan, so I kept moaning in his mouth, and I think he enjoyed that.

He started kissing my neck again, kissing the spot where he kissed before. Then all of a sudden bit another part of my neck, which made me gasp this time only because I wasn’t expecting it. He started kissing that same place with his tongue and it would definitely leave hickies there in the morning. I mean...so would the spots I left on his neck. But you don’t see either of us complaining.

He then started to move down from my neck to my chest, then finally to my breast. He moved it up to his mouth and started kissing it. My eyes were full of love once again, my breath was ragged. This was everyone I always dreamed of. And now it was finally happening. But then, he kissed my breast in a way that pleased me so much my breath had gotten more heavy as I held onto his hair, but not very tightly to where it would’ve hurt him.

Which let him move to the other breast. Oh my god, he was amazing at this. It’s like he’s done this before. That’s how good he was. Like he made my heart both best rapidly and melt at the same time. He made my breath ragged in just a couple minutes. My mind was swirling with thoughts only about him. And all the stuff he’s done today and all he planned out. He was just so fucking perfect I wanted to scream his name and keep him forever.

Instead, as I kept breathing out my mouth, I still managed to say his name, but only so softly. “Arnold.” I moaned.

He stopped kissing my breast as he looked back up at me, his hands now on my cheeks as he replied with, “Yes, Helga?”

My breath was so heavy. My eyes seemed as if they had hearts in them. I managed to have the slightest smile on my face, still soft enough for him to notice. I wrapped my arms around him once more before whispering, “I love you so much.”

I started kissing him again, but it wasn’t even French kissing, just lovingly soft kisses. And one minute later, he stops kissing me to tell me, “I love you, too, Helga. So much that you don’t even know how much.”

I started making out with him again, and at this point I was in Heaven. Like I literally died and went to Heaven. This right here was the most beautiful birthday present I had ever gotten from him. I don’t even know how I could return such an amazing gift like this. It was just perfect.

I leaned down and kissed the other side of his neck, leaving him another little bite mark. Making him moan once again. And after I kissed his neck, I did what he did with me and started kissing down to his chest. Which led me to taking off his shirt for him and seeing his bare chest.

I had seen Arnold without a shirt before, but man did he have a nice body.

I kissed his chest once again until I got lower and started kissing where he kissed me at. Now he would know how pleasant it really felt, and man did he look pleased with it. I could feel him breathing on me just a bit, and he started rubbing my back with the tips of his fingers. I loved it when he did that.

I moved to the other side and may or may not have left a couple hickies near his chest. But if he put his shirt back on you wouldn’t be able to see them, so that was the good part at least. I would laugh, though, if people mentioned the hickies that were gonna form on his neck.

It was then that he did exactly what I did. His breath had gotten more heavy, his hand grabbed my hair not too tightly. His heart shaped eyes full of love. I moved my head up to face him as we made out more.

About 10 minutes in, a loud thunder came into play and scared the shit out of me. And when I jumped, Arnold started laughing.

“It’s not funny, Hair Boy!” I told him as I poked my finger on his chest.

“It’s funny to me, Helga.” He told me as he still laughed.

It was then that I got off from his lap and this time pushed him on the bed with me on top of him. He blushed hard, staring into my eyes. He placed his hands on my hips, pulling me a bit closer.

“Funny now?” I asked him, giving him a devious smirk.

That was, until he said, “Absolutely.”

I just rolled my eyes at this point and started giving him soft kisses, since I knew how much he loved soft kisses. I gave him one on his left cheek, then his forehead. Then when I gave him one on the tip of his nose, it was the first time I had ever heard him giggle. It left me surprised.

I couldn’t help but smile when I asked, “Arnold, did you just giggle?”

He didn’t even say anything, which meant that he definitely did. I heard it anyway, so he couldn’t deny it even if he wanted to.

“Aww you did! It’s so cute!” I told him as I continuously kissed him on the cheek.

I made him giggle again by doing that, and it was the cutest thing I’ve ever heard from him. I’ve honestly never heard him giggle before, so this was a new obsession that was gonna be stuck in my head for a few days.

“Helga, stop!” He told me as he still giggled. And unfortunately I did stop.

“Sorry. Your giggle is cute though.” I smiled warmly, kissing his soft lips with mine, making a perfect match as they touched.

“Well I’m not surprised there. I had the cutest giggle as a baby as well.”

“No you didn’t.”

“I did. My parents could probably show you the tapes in the morning if you wanna see.”

“Oh, Arnold. Absolutely. I need to hear your baby giggle.”

He chuckled softly. “Whatever you say, Helga.”

I finally climbed off of Arnold as he scooted over. I looked at the time to find out it was almost 1:30 in the morning.

“Criminy, that’s how long we’ve been going at it? I thought it’d be longer. Anyway, I’m getting tired, Arnoldo. So I say we get some sleep before my brain explodes from what we just did.”

“Good idea, I’m starting to fall asleep already.”

I laid down and Arnold got in his usual spot where he laid his head on my chest. As I got older I realized how much I didn’t really like doing that honestly. And as much as I did want to, I couldn’t stand it. I had laid my head on Arnold’s chest a few times, and I just wasn’t the most comfortable with it.

As I was about to fall asleep, I heard Arnold murmur something.

“Did you say something, Arnold?”

He stayed silent for a minute until I heard him say, “I hope that was a great gift for you, Helga.”

I smiled warmly as I felt the love hit me once again. “It was an amazing gift, Football Head. Thank you.”

He buried his head in my chest as he held me a bit tighter. I couldn’t help but keep smiling at how cute he was. I really did love him, and I was so lucky to be dating him.

Chapter Text

Friday, May 26th, 2006.

3:25pm. School.

In two weeks I’d officially be done with freshman year. The year had flown by so fast that’s been almost been one full year that Arnold and I had gotten together. Even though I was sitting next to him right now in this very classroom, I couldn’t help but let the memories of us flow across my mind.

“You heard me, Arnoldo. You wanna go out with me?”

“I love you, Helga.”

“You are the most amazing girl I have ever met.”

“Gee, Football Head, you’re a real sap for me, aren’t you?”

“If you need anything, just tell me. You know I’m always going to be here for you, and that I love you so much, Helga. You don’t know how much.”

“Well, what do you say for another make out session then?” 

“I’ve really missed you a lot today.”

I sighed heavily, a bit a blush across my face. Arnold saw me and just looked confused, but I didn’t really care. That Football Headed God is all mine, and no one could ever take him away from me.

“Ms. Pataki!”

Of course the teacher had to shake me away from my wonderful day dream because she wants me to be bored. A few of the kids laughed at me for getting in trouble. I’d kick all of them if I could.

“Now, remember class. The End of the Year dance is next Friday. So if you’d like to attend, tickets will be $1.50. If you are bringing people from another school, you will have to write it in the little slip and place it in this box. Ticket sales will be closed by Thursday after school. So purchase now if you plan on going.”

The bell had finally rang after her long speech. Normally I would call it boring, but it’s about the End of the Year dance. And I’m gonna ask Arnold to be my date. He won’t get to me first.

“S-so, Helga. I was just wondering-”

“Hold it, Paste for Brains. I’m gonna be the one asking you to the dance. I will buy the tickets and everything. You always get to do everything. Like, you are literally the perfect gentlemen. So, is it okay if I do this one thing for you?” I tried asking him in the most polite way possible, hoping maybe he would let me.

He looked at me with a warm smile on his face. Then told me, “Okay, Helga. Whatever’s best for you.”

A smile all of sudden plastered on my face, and I kissed my beloved boyfriend on the cheek as I ran to the desk where they sold the tickets. “Thank you, Arnold! I won’t disappoint you, I promise!” I yelled at him.

He had a confused look on his face and asked himself, “What did she mean by disappointment? She’s never disappointed me this whole time we’ve dated.”

“Who are you talking to, Arnold?” A voice asked him from behind. Arnold turned to see Gerald walking up to him.

“Oh, hey Gerald. I wasn’t talking to anyone, I was just questioning myself.”

“About what?”

“Well, Helga wanted to get tickets for next Friday’s dance, and she said she won’t disappoint me. But I don’t remember her disappointing me before.”

“Well she probably meant that she just didn’t want to mess this moment up. Because if you think about it, you’ve done almost everything for her, and I haven’t seen her do much stuff for you. And it’s not a bad thing because you’ve offered to do it. But if you constantly do it, then your partner is gonna feel bad because they haven’t done anything for you. You know?”

Gerald had a point there. He had been doing a lot of stuff for me. Which was nice of Arnold of course, but it got a little tiresome at times. And a little annoying.

“She loves you, man. You have to let her do some things for you. Like her taking you on dates, instead of you always doing it. Because maybe she has something in mind.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I really need to let Helga choose the things she wants to do instead of me deciding all the time. Thanks, Gerald.” Arnold told him as they did their handshake.

“No problem, my man. If you ever need more advice, you can always come to me for questions.” Gerald offered.

“Yeah, how did you know what I needed to hear?” He asked him curiously.

“Arnold. I have a girlfriend too. I’ve been dating Phoebe longer than you’ve been dating Helga. I know this kind of stuff from experience.”

“I should’ve remembered.” Arnold admitted.

“Well, I gotta go. Tonight we’re having my dad’s homemade tacos, and I wanna be there in time to get those before Jamie O steals all mine. See ya, Arnold!”

Once Arnold was done waving goodbye, he went to go find me. He looked all around until he saw me sitting at one of the cafeteria tables, staring at the tickets.

“Uh, Helga? Are you okay?” He asked me curiously, which startled me. I swear, the more I think about it, the more easily scared I get.

“Criminy, Arnoldo. Don’t sneak up on me like that!” I yelled at him. I saw him swallow nervously, and I remembered I had to be calm about this. I didn’t want to disappoint him like I did with most people in life apparently.

“Sorry, Helga. I was just gonna ask if you already bought the two tickets?” He asked calmly, but he sounded a bit sad as well. It concerned me.

“Yeah, two tickets to next Friday’s dance...uhm, Arnold? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. And I wanted to apologize for not planning stuff like you always do. I should be more involved in our relationship instead of just kissing you and hugging you all the time.”

“Helga, please don’t apologize. If you really think about it, it’s my fault. I’ve been taking over all the ideas and planning ahead for dates and things. I haven’t been letting you get a chance for that. Which made me wonder why you said you wouldn’t disappoint me. But when Gerald explained it to me, it made more sense now that I thought about it. So, I’m really sorry, Helga. I should let you do more of this stuff instead of me taking it over.”

We both looked at each other with our eyes glowing, our hearts beating, our love for each other never going away. Not once. Once we both thought about it, we both just kind of laughed about the whole messy situation harmlessly. We knew it would all work out when the time for that came along. Like if I planned for us a date, sometimes Arnold would tell me, “It’s okay, Helga. I’ll plan a date for us.” So we knew that would change.

I grabbed the tickets and held them out for him to see before telling him, “Arnold, I think this would be a really nice thing to go to together. So do you wanna go to the dance with me next week?”

He smiled warmly as he took one of the tickets. He then kissed me on the cheek as he started walking away, expecting me to follow him. I still look at him, waiting for an answer. Until he finally says, “Absolutely.” And then I literally ran after him because I wanted another kiss.

Friday, June 2nd.

6:12pm. Phoebe’s house.

“I’m so excited for this dance tonight, Pheebs. You have no idea.”

I went over to Phoebe’s house to get ready since Arnold had invited Gerald to get ready with him. I figured I would make myself look extra beautiful for my beloved, make him swoon for me. Or it might be the opposite because I’ve been swooning over him a lot lately since that night on my birthday. Oh, Arnold...How I long for doing that with you again sometime. But right now I have to focus. Smallest amount of makeup now, swoon later.

“I too am excited for this. Gerald asked me to go with him and bought the tickets on Monday.” Phoebe explained.

“Heh, what a gentleman Geraldo is.” I told Phoebe as I was putting on a light layer of mascara. I was going in this pink and white dress that went a little down past my knees, but I was gonna wear my nike airs because I cannot stand wearing high heels all night. But I would have my hair down and wear my old pink bow to go along with it. Use a bit of blush and mascara. But that’s it.

“Did Arnold buy your guys’ tickets?”

“Actually, I bought them.” I told her proudly.

“You did? How come Arnold didn’t?”

“Criminy, Phoebe. Arnold doesn’t have to buy me everything! Besides, I wanted to do something nice for him for a change.” I sounded like I had started to fade into a mumble. Almost as if I was ashamed to admit it.

“What are you talking about, Helga?” She asked me curiously.

I never thought I’d actually be afraid to tell my best friend anything, but this was serious. And I really needed to open up to someone about this. “Well, it’s just that I feel like Arnold does everything for me. Not literally everything but you get my point. He buys not just me, but both of us anything. Tickets for movies, birthday and Christmas presents, you name it! And it makes me feel like I haven’t done much for him. So I told him I wouldn’t disappoint him when I went to buy the tickets. Because I wanted to do something for him. And he was about to ask me to the dance. And when I told him I wanted to ask him, he let me do it anyway. He really is such a gentleman, which makes me wish I could do more for him.”

“Take him on a date.” Phoebe suggested as she was brushing her hair, warming up her straightener afterwards.

I finished my mascara and turned to face my best friend. “What?”

“You’ve told me before that you and Arnold have never gone on an actual date before, right? You guys have been places together with either family or friends, or both. But never by yourselves. So why not pick out a place to take Arnold out to.”

I look at her in shock. Why the heck haven’t I thought of that? There were times where I did think Phoebe was smarter than me with things, and this was one of them. Her and Gerald have been dating since the middle of eighth grade, and this idea was great. Perfect even. I got up and interrupted her brushing her hair by giving her a hug.

“Thanks, Pheebs. I know the idea of a date is simple to most people, but you’re right. Arnold and I have never officially been on a date. I mean, if you wanna call me being Cecile and him a “Helga and Arnold date.” But I wasn’t technically me. You know?”

Phoebe sat up and went to put her makeup on as I went over and put on my dress. “Yeah I get that. Guys love it when you pick out a place they love. Like I took Gerald to his favorite restaurant, and it turns out I liked it too. Unfortunately I cannot remember the name of the place. But if you really want to be fancy with him, I’d suggest Chez Pierre because it sounds more fancy. Or it’s whatever you and he would like to do.”

I gave it a lot of thought, and it sounded like a great idea. But there was one catch. “Wouldn’t it be awkward with us? I mean, he and I are super close, but I’ve seen people on dates before, especially teenagers. Most of them look awkward around each other.”

“Key word in that sentence is most, Helga. If you two are that close as you say, then maybe you could learn more about him that you didn’t know before.”

I thought a bit more about it as I brushed my hair. “Learn more about him, huh?” I did want to do something with Arnold. Something I would’ve planned. As I thought more about him, I smiled warmly as I felt the heat across my cheeks. The thought of him always made me swoon. And I knew if I did this for the both of us, then he’d appreciate it so much. It was important to make him happy, and I intend to do that by taking him on a date this summer. “I’ll take you on that offer, Pheebs.”

“Wonderful! I can’t wait to hear all about it after it’s done!” She sounded excited for us, and it was a nice thing to hear. She knew we would get together soon since the fourth grade. It’s true: we were that obvious.

I had finally gotten my dress on, along with my hair down and my makeup all done as well. All that was left was my bow, and I could easily just put that up in my hair like I did for the past 10 years or so. Once I was ready, I tapped on Phoebe’s shoulder to let her see me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so surprised before.

“Wow, Helga. You look amazing! Arnold’s gonna love your outfit!” Phoebe admitted.

“Well I hope Arnold loves it. But thank you, Phoebe. I’m glad it looks good.” I smiled at her.

“Better than good, it’s amazing! Even the shoes surprisingly go great with the dress!” She admitted and we both started laughing.

6:55pm.

The Sunset Arms Boarding House.

Arnold’s POV.

Meanwhile back at my place, Gerald and I were getting ready for our dates to see how handsome we both could be. Gerald wanted Phoebe to think he was very dapper, while I wanted Helga to see just how amazing I looked in my new tux.

I planned on wearing the white long sleeve buttoned up shirt with a short sleeve black vest over it, along with a black tie, pants, and shoes as well. I was still planning on wearing my hat though. I never took that thing off.

“How sharp you lookin over there, Arnold?” Gerald yelled as he got on his own vest.

I stood up and turned towards him. “You tell me. Whatchu think?” I gave him a 360 of what it looked like on me. To Gerald’s amazement, he looked surprised.

“Mmm, mmm, mmm! That looks amazing on you! Your girlfriend is gonna swoon over you like there’s no tomorrow. I guarantee it, man. That Helga G. Pataki has had a thing for you for as long as both of us can remember.”

“Yeah, I hope Helga likes it too. It makes me wonder what she’s wearing.” I admitted.

“Yeah. Now that you say that, I wonder what Phoebe will wear. Man, I'm dying to get to her house right now!”

“What time did we have to get to her house again?”

“We have about a 15 minute walk to her house. Then her parents are gonna drop us off.”

I nodded as I was fixing my hair. When Gerald told me he was going to use the bathroom, I was now alone...with my locket that Helga had gotten me for Christmas.

I pulled it out of my pocket to reveal two pictures. One of me and Helga, and the other I took of Helga in the sixth grade. She truly was beautiful, and I was very excited about how she would look tonight. I’d either be smiling warmly, thinking how lucky he was. Or I’d be blushing a lot, thinking how beautiful she looked and my mind would be only focusing on her and nothing else.

Either way, love was love. And our love could never be broken by anyone. We never had one actual fight during our entire relationship. Which was surprising because Helga liked to start fights a lot...or she did in fourth grade at least. But times were different now. We would be sophomores soon.

The thing about Helga was that yes she could be mean at times, but she’s really gotten control over her emotions and actions over the past few years, and I was proud of her for that. I’ve seen out of the corner of my eye how nice she would be to everyone in our friend group, even Brainy. And especially Lila. Even if she didn’t want to be nice to her.

I just hope I don’t see her tonight. I don’t want any fights between those two to start.

Gerald finally came back and had his whole outfit on.He even had on a couple of rings to make himself look fancy. And, I do admit, he did look dapper.

“Nice looks, Gerald. You’re gonna make Phoebe wish she started dating you earlier.”

“Thanks man. And like I said, Helga’s gonna be swooning over you when she sees you like that. We both know her well enough to know what she might be thinking.” We both laughed at that statement.

I’ve told Gerald about what I gave Helga for her final birthday present. Details added, but not too much detail. He’s known I’ve had my eyes on Helga for quite some time, and has called me Lover Boy before. He’s called me that with Lila as well, but the more I looked into it, the more I really liked Helga more than I liked Lila. She didn’t like me back, while Helga has been swooning over me since we were three.

I knew she was the right girl for me since middle school. And god is she beautiful.

We checked the time and it was now a few minutes past 7, so we decided to go ahead and head down to Phoebe’s place. We were both excited to see what our girlfriend’s looked like tonight. I tried to think of what Helga might look like, but I had so many ideas that it was hard enough just choosing one.

“ARNOLD!” Gerald yelled at me.

I looked back and noticed I was walking away from Phoebe’s house. I daydream too much sometimes. I didn’t used to. But ever since Helga and I got together, you’d be surprised by the things I imagined.

I walked back over and we finally reached Phoebe’s front door. Gerald knocked and Phoebe’s dad was the one who answered. “Hello, boys! The girls are just about done. Please come on in!”

Once he shut the door both of us had the idea of just leaning against it until they came downstairs. We were just whispering and laughing about random things and having our own little inside jokes. And let me just say that I don’t think I could have a better best friend than Gerald. He’s been by my side since preschool, and now we’re gonna be sophomores in a few months. Such an amazing 12 years of being friends.

“Would you boys like something to drink while you’re waiting?” Her dad asked us kindly.

“No thanks, Mr. Heyerdahl. I’m sure the girls will be coming down any minute. And I’d like to see how amazing Phoebe looks.”

“Oh you’re such an amazing boy for her, Gerald. It’s a delight having you around so often!” Mrs. Heyerdahl told him as she came into the hallway.

“Oh, thank you, Mrs. Heyerdahl!”

It was then that all of us heard Phoebe call out, “Mom? I’m ready whenever you are!”

Mrs. Heyerdahl was standing next to her husband, who was holding his camera. While Gerald stepped forward, having his flowers ready for Phoebe. We both grabbed some for the girls on our way out. It really didn’t take that long.

It was then that Phoebe started coming down the stairs in a beautiful navy blue dress, with a white stripe around her waist. Beautiful white high heels—not too high—to match with the outfit. Her hair straightened out, and wearing a couple of nice bracelets on her wrists, also wearing a diamond necklace. Which was fake, but it still looked nice.

I had never seen Gerald actually stare into someone's eyes that much before, because I could tell how in love he was with Phoebe. Those two were a perfect match together, and you could tell.

“Hello, Gerald. Thank you for taking me out on this lovely night, and may I say you look dapper.” Heh, just what he was going for.

“T-thanks, Phoebe. I got you your favorite flowers. Blue Hydrangea.” He was blushing. I have never seen him blush before.

“Oh my gosh, you remembered! I’ve always loved these flowers, ever since I was a kid. Thank you, Gerald.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and he was truly mesmerized by her.

I always thought of those two as the two peas in a pod. They were always in perfect sync together, they agreed on everything, they never had any fight. They were truly meant for each other. They were a perfect couple, and nothing could go wrong with their relationship.

Finally, after a couple more minutes of waiting, there she was. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen walked down those stair steps. Helga G. Pataki.

Helga was wearing a pink and white dress that went a little down past her knees. She was wearing her Nike airs as well, assuming she didn’t want to wear heels. She also had her beautiful blonde hair down that went past her shoulders, also having the slightest blush and mascara on her.

My heart was beating, my eyes were sparkling, my knees felt like they could give out at any moment, my face was heating up, and all the while, my emotions were going crazy. But love was the strongest emotion out of all of them running through my mind like a marathon.

I swallowed nervously, until she came right up to me. Looking at me up and down, until she finally told me, “You look handsome tonight, Arnold.”

I smiled at her, now feeling at ease. My mind was still racing about how beautiful she was, but I was becoming more calm about this. “Thanks, Helga. I brought you flowers.” I had picked Daisies for her because I’ve noticed that every time she writes her poems, she’s always around daisies. And it seemed like a good kind of flower to pick out for her.

I think she realized why I picked those out for her, because after she grabbed them she kissed me on the cheek. “Thanks, Arnoldo. Now come on, we’ve got a dance to go to.” She slipped her pointer and middle fingers under my chin so she could make me look at her, retracting them back to her as she walked out the door.

When I tell you I was lovesick for her, I mean while I watched her walk my eyes were as soft as my smile was.

Gerald walked next to me and said, “You are such a Lover’s Boy.”

“I can’t help that she’s so pretty, Gerald.”

“Nine year old me wouldn’t believe that you fell in love with Helga G. Pataki. He would literally ask, Are you sure it’s not Lila he’s with?” 

“Very funny, Gerald. Now come on, or you’ll get left behind.”

7:30pm.

The school.

Helga’s POV

We finally made it to school, and I just could not stop staring at Arnold.

His whole outfit just had my eyes wide open. He seemed so fancy when he wore that, like he was going to a wedding more than a dance. That’s how handsome he looked. His short sleeve vest made it better than a regular long sleeve vest. The pants and white long sleeve buttoned up shirt were just more perfect on him than any other boy would wear. When I tell you I was lovestruck...

All four of us went inside and we saw so many people we didn’t know. Though our whole friend group showed up, I knew they would.

Harold, Sid and Stinky came here together since none of them had dates. Figures. Harold wore his backwards hat with a tux that actually fit him for once, meaning his belly button didn’t show. Though over the years he has lost some weight. Surprisingly.

Stinky was wearing one of those tuxes with a tie t-shirts. It was kind of funny, along with his actual dress pants and shoes. But he did look nice, but no one looked as nice as Arnold.

And finally, Sid was wearing just a regular suit with a bow tie instead of a regular tie. And of course his backwards cap as well. Why did boys wear backwards caps all the time? I had no idea, and I certainly didn’t care either.

Rhonda was here with her new boyfriend, Johnny. He looked okay, for someone who looked rich and poor at the same time. Rhonda, on the other hand, was wearing a long, red, sparkling dress with her new red heels as well. With a little red ribbon in her hair and some mascara with blush. Man red really was her color wasn’t it?

The rest of our group of friends just looked casual for tonight. Nothing too fancy but nothing on the down low. They wanted to look their best and I respected them for that. But there was only one other person who I thought would never dress like Rhonda, but tried to anyway. You know her, you probably don’t like her...Lila.

I knew why she tried to dress like Rhonda. To get Arnold’s attention. Everyone knew she loved him, and everyone also knew that Arnold was with me. He chose me. Not her. But no matter what, she just kept trying. And it was so unlike her to keep doing this. I was gonna have to talk to her about this later. I’ll probably do that later on tonight.

We talked to some of our other friends, mainly Harold, Stinky, and Sid, and the seven of us danced to a few songs, until those boys ran off on their own. They said they were gonna prank a few people tonight because that’s what some highschoolers did at a dance like this. I didn’t even want to ask why.

After the four of us danced to a couple more songs, we all sat down and took a break for a little bit. We all just talked and laughed at people and jokes for about 10 minutes until Phoebe and Gerald wanted to dance some more. Arnold and I held back on this one.

“I’m gonna get us some food and something to drink!” I yelled to Arnold, and he nodded at me.

I got up, and in the next few seconds, Lila was there. Talking with him. I didn’t think anything of it. Until I saw what happened a couple minutes later.

“Hey, Arnold!” Lila told him, she sounded a bit slap happy for some reason.

“Oh, hey, Lila. You enjoying the party?” Normally he didn’t want to interact with Lila without Helga being around, even though he could handle it. He just didn’t want her to try anything he didn’t want her doing.

“I’m just having an oh so amazing time!” She then noticed that she didn’t spot me around him. “Oh, Arnold. There’s no one with you. Did you come alone?”

“Oh, no. Phoebe and Gerald came along, and Helga asked me to come with her. She’s getting us something to eat right now.”

Of course she is, she thought to herself. “And you’re just waiting here for her patiently?”

Now he felt weird about this. “Yeah? Why do you ask?”

“Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to dance? You know, let the time pass while you wait for Helga.”

“Lila, I told you. I’m with Helga, and I don’t like you like that anymore. Please stop trying to get me to go with you for anything, because it’s not going to work.”

She seemed disappointed. And if I saw all that I would’ve laughed at her, but unfortunately I didn’t. But I finally got our food, because it was hard finding something the both of us would actually eat. I just grabbed both of us a couple pieces of pizza in the end. I was starving of course. I’ve been kind of nervous for this dance so I haven’t eaten all day.

I grabbed a Dr. Pepper for both of us to share since, well, why not. And two slices for the both of us.

I walked back over and yelled, “Hey, Arnold!” He looked at me and it was like he was in lovesick mode. He was so cute when he did that. That smile of his that he was making right now was absolutely divine. I could kiss his face. Unfortunately, I’m not the one who kissed him. Because I saw the most horrifying thing that I could’ve ever seen.

Lila kissed Arnold.

I stood there. I just stood there like a buffon. Trying to take in what just happened. Lila literally kissed Arnold right in front of me. Was she really that desperate? To just go and kiss him like that? I knew she loved him, but damn, who did she think she was kissing my boyfriend like that?!

I was furious. I was so furious that I felt tears come to my eyes. Do you ever just get so mad that you cry? Because that’s exactly what I felt like was gonna happen inside me. Lila kissed Arnold. Even though she knew we were together. I could freaking slap her right now.

I saw Arnold push her away, yelling at her for why she kissed him. And I heard her say, “Because I love you, Arnold! Even though you stopped liking me a long time ago. I fell for you! I realized how amazing you actually were, and thought I still had a chance with you in eighth grade!” I saw him shocked by what she was saying, and knew he didn’t want to be around her much longer.

I walked over to the two of them, pissed off. Tears were in my eyes. I was furious with this red head bitch people called “Little Miss Perfect.” And what really sucked, was that one fourth of the people here tonight saw Lila kissing Arnold. People went Awww while some people we knew went, “Oh my god,” and, “Aren’t Helga and Arnold together though?” And I couldn't stand it. So you know what I did when I got over there to her?

I punched her and she fell to the stupid ground.

Chapter Text

Friday, June 2nd. 8:03pm.

High school dance.

As you know, I punched Lila and she fell to the stupid ground.

She kissed my boyfriend, so I think it’s a valid reason to start a fight with her. Of course, I had to think about Arnold as well. Which, I don’t think he took me punching Lila all that well, but I think he was also glad that I was here.

People around us were shocked about what I did. The boys, along with Gerald and Phoebe, saw what I did, and just proceeded to watch. Unfortunately, the boys have seen me like this once before. I fought a kid in the seventh grade because he wouldn’t give me back my locket after he snatched it from my hands. Of course I got sent to the principal’s office, but the good thing was that I got my locket back.

Lila was panting on the floor, wiping the blood from her nose after I did a good number on that. Who knew she was so sensitive?

“WHAT THE HECK, PATAKI?” She yelled, and more people started crowding around. I, for one, had no emotion on my face. Just like I was with Bob and Wolfgang back then. It was how I was able to control my emotions over the years. Of course, I almost lost it with her. She kissed my boyfriend in front of me. Who does that??

I didn’t answer her when she yelled. I waited to see what she would do. And I saw that she was about to punch me back. So I let her, because she punched me in the gut. And, yes, I did react to that because I didn’t know how strong she actually was. I felt like I was gonna throw up.

“Helga! Are you okay?” Arnold ran and held me not too tightly, but enough to where I was comfortable. I really needed to eat something, because this was a horrible time for my vision to be a bit blurry just because someone punched me in the gut. I was the one panting now. But I got up anyway, not answering back to Arnold.

I grabbed her dress and showed her just how strong I really was. Because even though she was light, I was able to pick her up with both arms. Arnold seemed to be impressed, but I was just freaking furious.

“Listen to me, Sawyer. If you ever, kiss my boyfriend again, I swear to god I’ll-”

“You’ll what, Pataki?” She was really starting to get on my nerves. She interrupted me. That’s like, one of the stupidest and rudest things you could do to a person.

I threw her on the ground and hovered over her. Everyone was chanting, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” and I was about to punch her once again, until Phoebe and Gerald came back with the principal and one of the teachers. Each one grabbed Lila and I and I couldn’t help but squirm out of the principal’s arms and get my chance to punch Lila one more time.

“THAT’S FOR KISSING MY BOYFRIEND, BITCH!”

The principal grabbed me tighter to where I wasn’t strong enough to squirm out. While everyone else was in a fuss and excitement about what just went on. Welp, there’s the news for the last week of school.

Arnold seemed so weirded out by all of this, also confused. He was trying to process what just went on. Lila kissed him. I punched Lila. The two of us had a small fight. I cursed that red head out. End of story. But with Arnold, he just needed to put all the pieces together even though it all happened right in front of him.

The principal pulled me to an empty table and tried to calm me down. But no one was really able to calm me down when I was this pissed off. Not even Arnold, unfortunately. He got me a cold drink of water, which I chugged down, and started asking me a few questions.

“Ms. Pataki. I would like to know the exact reason why you decided to punch Ms. Sawyer in the face. Twice, in fact.” He asked me calmly.

I tried to reply back to him calmly, but of course there was so much going through my head, I couldn't exactly calm down right now. “Because she kissed my boyfriend in front of me!” I saw Arnold turn his head quickly at me, but I didn’t look at him back. I had to deal with this guy first, then I can go hug him.

Arnold looked worried. I didn’t want him to think this was his fault. Because I know him well enough for him to think it was his fault because he was paying attention to me instead of what Lila was doing. That had nothing to do with him. In a way, it was really my fault.

“That doesn’t give you the right to punch her, Ms. Pataki.”

“Just call me Helga. Helga. And yes it does! Believe or not, she’s liked him for, like, a year now! And-”

“I don’t need to hear the whole story, Ms. Pataki. And I will call you what I please. And if you don’t fix up this attitude of yours, I will have to escort you off the premises. Do I make myself clear?”

I was trying my hardest not to yell at him. He was just making me more pissed that I couldn’t even keep eye contact with him. This is not how I wanted my night with Arnold to go. I hated myself for starting all this. If I hadn't called his stupid name, none of this would’ve happened. And he’s told me I needed to stop blaming myself so much, but this wasn’t gonna leave my mind for at least the rest of the night.

“Yes sir.” I finally replied.

“Good. Now I’m just gonna let you off with a warning. We’ll be watching if anything like this happens again. Try to avoid Ms. Sawyer, and try to forget about what has happened tonight.”

He makes it sound so simple. I just wanna punch him at this point.

“Yes sir.” I repeated myself.

“Good. Now have a good rest of your night with your friends.”

I stood up and saw Phoebe and Gerald talking with Arnold. Oh boy, I knew what this was gonna be about. I really didn’t wanna talk about what happened, but I had to reassure Arnold that it wasn’t him.

All three of them looked at me when I got there. I looked like I was about to cry. But honestly, I didn’t feel like it. I guess that’s how I knew for sure how much stronger I really was getting.

Arnold stood up not too quickly, but not as slow either, and stood in front of me. My heart was beating like crazy. Between seeing him in that handsome suit, and that, I couldn’t help but just reach out and hug him. His warmth was one thing that soothed me. But his heartbeat was another thing.

I dug into his shoulder and sighed heavily. I really, really, didn’t wanna talk about it, but I know he would be mentioning it here in a minute. And I figured might as well just get it out of the way now then having to deal with it later.

Phoebe and Gerald left us alone so we could talk things out. Meanwhile, I felt bad that I hadn’t said anything for the past five minutes while Arnold was holding my hand, patiently waiting. Surprisingly, there were still less than 2 hours till this dance was over. And I didn’t wanna spend the rest of the night sitting here in silence.

“I’m so, so sorry, Arnold. I didn’t just want to attack Lila like that, but it was so hard not to when she freaking kissed you!” He didn’t give me any kind of reaction, he just listened. Listened to my reasoning.

“It’s not your fault, Helga.” I knew he was gonna say that. “It’s honestly mine for not paying attention-”

“Listen to me, Arnold.” Okay, now the tears have started coming. They didn’t flow down my cheeks, but they just came to my eyes anyway. I knew I wasn’t as strong as I looked. “It was my fault this whole thing happened. If I just hadn’t shouted your name, none of this would be happening!” I let go of his hand and used mine to cover my face up. I wasn’t embarrassed, just overwhelmed.

“If none of this was happening, I would probably be slow dancing with you to this song right now.” Arnold had a shocked look on his face, giving him the obvious idea.

He stood up and held a hand out to me. I didn’t really notice until a few seconds after. But when I did, I looked up at him, and listened carefully to him asking me, “Would you like to dance, then?”

My eyes sparkled from the disco ball, my heart beat at its normal pace for once, but the blush on my cheeks was something people would not miss. It made me realize he didn’t want to think about any of this either. I mean, of course he didn’t. Lila Sawyer kissed Arnold Shortman in front of his own girlfriend. Eventful night.

I finally took his hand, and when I went to the dance floor with him, I couldn’t help but spot Lila sitting in a chair all alone. Her chin resting on her hand, watching the both of us as we danced to a song called Heavenly Day.

There were other couples out here as well. Like Rhonda and Johnny, Gerald and Phoebe, Sid and Stinky doing it as a stupid joke, and others I didn’t recognize. But my eyes were all focused on Arnold. My beloved. The boy with his beautiful cornflour hair that I could never resist. The boy who gave me so many hugs, that I would return in his favor. Oh, Arnold. How I love you so. You’re the one and only true boy for me and no one else, and no one would take you away from me.

His arms wrapped around my waist as my arms were around his neck. As the girl would normally do, he leaned his forehead against my shoulder. Assuming he was still a couple inches shorter than me, I understood why. Still, it was really cute of him though.

Oh because right now is only thing

That all that we really have to do

Is have ourselves, a heavenly day

He raised his head and looked into my eyes, then leaned his forehead against mine. Both of us were in the moment, and this kind of moment we would never forget ever. My heart beat like crazy. My thoughts only circled back to this Football Head I love calling my boyfriend. He was the sweetest boy I could ever be with.

Lay here and watch the trees sway

Oh, can't see no other way, no way, no way

Heavenly day, heavenly day, heavenly day

He looked into my eyes. I looked into his eyes. I could see the sparkles in them. And it felt so much like just us two dancing on this dance floor. No one but him and me.

He swayed me side to side, telling me in a faint whisper, “You look so beautiful tonight, Helga.”

All I could do was smile warmly. He was so charming when he wanted to be. He was just that amazing. I was lost in thought of just being with him. He was all mine, and no one could say anything about it.

No one at my shoulder bringing me fears

Got no clouds up above me bringing me tears

When Arnold knew the song was about to end, he placed his hands on my cheeks, leaned in slowly, and once he kissed me it felt like a thousand butterflies in my stomach. I sighed softly, keeping my arms wrapped around his neck. He was kissing me for a good minute or two, but no French kissing was involved. I honestly kind of liked that. For once, I didn’t want those kinds of kisses right now.

All that mattered was that Arnold was here with me right now. And that with him and me, everything felt perfect.

Got nothing to tell you, I've got nothing much to say

Only I'm glad to be here with you

On this heavenly, heavenly, heavenly, heavenly day

We swayed back and forth until the song came to an end. I could not tell you how in love I was with him. He made my heart melt every time. Just being with him made everything beautiful.

Oh, all the trouble gone away, oh

For a while anyway, for a while anyway

Heavenly day, heavenly day, heavenly day

Heavenly day, heavenly day, oh, heavenly day

9:59pm.

“We hope you all have enjoyed coming here tonight for our annual End of the Year dance! We hope to see you come here next year if you are not already graduating. We’ll see you in classes for our last week of school next Monday! See you then!”

The dance was finally over. Not that I didn’t enjoy it with my beloved, but I just wanted to get out of this hell hole before Little Miss Perfect showed up again.

“Man, that was a blast!” Gerald told all three of us, though Arnold looked pretty tired again. I get what all went on tonight, but I was just hoping he wasn’t having those nightmares again.

Believe it or not, Gerald and Phoebe had a change of clothes with them and a few other accessories because we offered them if they wanted to stay the night at our place. Arnold’s parents were fine with it and my mom didn’t seem like she cared much.

Phoebe and Gerald reassured their parents that nothing would go on between the two. That it was just gonna be a simple sleepover after the dance, and that Arnold and I offered to let them stay the night because his house was the closest from the school.

“You can say that again, Geraldo.” I told him, in a way of saying between before what happened and after what happened. It was then that I saw Gerald look back at Arnold, who was a little behind us. Boy he must have been tired from all that went on. I just wanted to forget all of that.

“Come on, Arnold! You’re being slow!” Gerald yelled, and Arnold started walking faster to catch up. But that was until I had the idea of kneeling down, putting my arms behind my back, and thankfully it made him stop right in front of how I was.

“Helga? What are you doing?” He asked confusingly, which made Gerald and Phoebe look at me weird. But I didn’t care.

“Offering you a ride home. Now hurry up before I change my mind.” I told him as I started to blush a bit. If I can pick up Lila, I can pick up my own boyfriend.

Speaking of offering a ride, I had finally gotten my learner’s permit a couple months ago. I failed the first time, but Arnold helped me study to get back on track, and I got it the second time. Miriam has been letting me drive the car around in neighborhoods for the past few days, and it’s such a good experience. Arnold, however, has already passed his driving test, but has also been on the road for almost 8 months now. But I’m still proud of him.

Arnold finally got on my back as I grabbed his legs, while he lightly wrapped his arms around my neck. I really didn’t mind doing this. It was the least I could do for kind of ruining our night together.

It caught me off guard when he laid his head on my shoulder, and I couldn’t help but blush more. Phoebe saw me and I literally mouthed the words, “Don’t even.”

Her, Gerald and I were just laughing at stupid things when out of nowhere a car came up to us at a stop sign. And guess who it was? Lila. Her dad must’ve picked her up, and she must’ve asked to see us to apologize.

“Hi, guys.” She said, panting a bit.

None of us said hi back, as we all knew what went down in there. I could tell Arnold was awake because I felt him fidgeting his fingers, letting me know that he was awake, just not wanting to look at Lila. I completely understood, I just don’t think Lila did.

She started walking toward me, and I had the strong urge to back up immediately. Gerald and Phoebe stood in front of me, facing Lila. In all seriousness, he asked, “What do you want, Sawyer?” as he crossed his arms.

She looked down on the concrete, rubbing her arm. She looked guilty for what she did, but I could never really be sure. She could be putting on an act for attention. But would she really be doing that? Who knows. All I know is that she’s changed, and not in a good way.

“Helga, Arnold, I wanted to apologize majorly to the both of you. Arnold, I’m so sorry for kissing you out of respect like that. It was ever so wrong of me to do that when I knew good and well you came with Helga to the dance, and that more importantly, that you two have been dating for almost a year now.

“And Helga, I’m so so sorry that I just kissed Arnold in front of you. I was jealous of the way he looked at you, and I just wanted him to look at me like that like he used to. I let my emotions take over when I should have controlled them. But instead it made me punch you in the gut, which led to you punching me a second time after the first. 

“I don’t expect forgiveness, I really don’t. And I know an apology won’t fix the mess I’ve caused. And I accept whatever you think is best for our friendship.”

I felt Arnold lift his head up, looking at Lila, but not with care. Kind of what I looked like earlier: emotionless. I walked over closer to her and stopped a few inches in front of her. The moon shined as the stars glowed beautifully in the sky. Boy, what a night.

“Look, Little Red Riding Hood. I don’t expect us to be best friends any time soon, or ever. And I don’t exactly accept your apology either. But all I have to say is that if you ever kiss Arnold again, I won’t hesitate to use ol’ Betsy here.”

“You have my word, Helga. I won’t kiss your boyfriend ever again.” Lila seemed honest about this. We’ll see how long this keeps up for.

I looked at Arnold to see if he had anything to say, and I saw his face full of sorrow, but anger. “Anything to add to that, Arnold?” I was about to call him Football Head, but now didn’t seem like a good time.

“Lila...” I turned him so he could face her. He didn’t ask to be put down, so I didn’t do anything unless he wanted me to. “I think you really need to reflect on what happened tonight. All I know is that I agree with Helga, that I don’t fully accept your apology. And I think we need to take some time apart from each other until you get over me. Because the more time you spend with me, the more your feelings are just gonna continue to grow, and I don’t think either of us want that. So let’s just see how things turn out between us in a couple months, ok?”

She looked so sad, almost about to cry. I honestly would hate it if someone told me that too. I would bawl my eyes out if Arnold told me that. But luckily I’m his girlfriend, so no need to worry.

“Y-yeah, of course. I’ll be going now.” She got back in her car, waiting for a green light to appear on the traffic light. She rolled down her window and, once they took off, she yelled, “I’m sorry for tonight. I’m ever so sorry!”

We all looked as her dad drove away with her. We knew how bad she felt, but we also knew that this was Hillwood. Never accept an apology the first time. Let the situation sink into them until they completely learn their lesson. That was rule number one as teenagers in this small town.

“Well that was unexpected.” Phoebe told us, and we all just kind of laughed.

We walked the rest of the way home just pretending that nothing happened. It was nice to have a group like that. Just forgetting all the bad things and focusing on the good. Geraldo and Phoebe really were my two best friends, and I don’t know what’d I do without them. And I have to admit, they were kind of cute together.

We finally got back to the boarding house. We greeted Arnold’s parents when we met them in the kitchen, though Arnold was half asleep, it didn’t really matter. I didn’t tell anyone about what happened at the dance, and I didn’t intend to for the next couple days. In my opinion, it was kind of an out of sight, out of mind thing.

We made it up to Arnold’s room and all of us got ready for bed. Changing out of those nice looking clothes that did make us uncomfortable at times, to just loose sleeve clothes that we could wear all day, and no one could tell us otherwise.

Again, I wore one of Arnold’s shirts with pajama shorts this time. It was hot outside for the night. Plus we walked a few miles here. Even in tennis shoes my feet hurt a bit. And my arms would most likely be sore from carrying Arnold, but he was so comfy, and I didn’t wanna ruin it for him. I wanted to show him how much I cared for him not just as his girlfriend, but as a person.

We turned on a movie and made homemade popcorn. Gerald and Phoebe got comfy in their sleeping bags, though they’ll probably cuddle when I fall asleep. And speaking of falling asleep. Arnold has already done that. He fell asleep again laying his head on my chest as he hugged me. Why did this Football Head have to be so damn cute?

All of us were pretty tired because I think we were all asleep by midnight. Going to that dance was definitely eventful. And now, not seeing Lila for the next two months after next Friday was gonna be the best thing ever. I didn’t want to see her stupid face ever again, but two months was better than nothing. I would never accept her apology. No matter what she says or what anyone says I should do. I’m allowed to hate her. She kissed my boyfriend.

But that’s in the past. Now all I had to do was survive court, and I’ll be home free.

BONUS PART!!

Saturday, June 10th, 2006.

9:47am. Arnold and Helga’s bedroom.

This is my saying for what happened last night. We have both of our shirts off right now.

Yep, we did what we did for my birthday AGAIN. And I’ll tell you it was more amazing the second. Not because we went any further than last time, just because it was that good. And the reason we did it again last night was because today is officially one year since we first got together. Though technically it was in the afternoon we got together, I didn’t care for the time really. The date always mattered.

This time Arnold was the one who woke up first. He was snuggled into my neck and somehow I couldn’t feel him breathing on me. There were times where I was a heavy sleeper, and I guess it was one of those times.

He smirked, wrapping his arm around my waist. He kissed my neck, making new marks where there aren’t any hickies on there. Like I need more, but oh how I loved his neck kisses. I opened my eyes slowly, trying to process what was happening, and why my face was feeling warm all of a sudden. May I remind you I had no idea he was even awake to begin with.

That was, until he slid his gently down between my breasts, and that was a huge wake up call for me. Literally. My face was warm as heck while he was laughing at how I woke up. But it gave me an idea to where I didn’t even try to hide my smirk.

“So that’s how you wanna do this, huh?” There was a certain way he liked it when I French kissed him. And if he wanted to play that game, then so be it.

I rolled my tongue just the way he liked it when I always made out with him, and his face went majorly red every time I did it. And once again, I was successful enough to make it happen at 9:50 in the morning.

Then all of a sudden, I just pull away from him, even though I know he wants more. But it’s what he gets for waking me up in such a delightful way.

“Really, Helga?” He asked me, sounding a bit disappointed.

“You decided to wake me up with your way. I decided to make your face look like a tomato my way.” We both chuckled. We could never deny our love for each other, especially on a day like this. And we both knew it.

“Happy Anniversary, Helga.” Arnold told me softly as he played with my hair. I always swooned when he was like this. He was just perfect in every way. What did I do to deserve him?

I leaned in and kissed him. His eyes not closed all the way for a couple of seconds, softly looking at me. But now closing all the way as he kissed me back. Pulling me in closer so to show how much he really loved me. Never again shall I ever doubt this boy for anything at all. He was beautifully perfect and he was all mine.

We finally broke apart as I told him in a faint whisper, smiling warmly at him, “Happy Anniversary, Arnold.”

Chapter Text

Wednesday, June 21st, 2006.

9:13pm. Arnold and Helga’s bedroom.

I had no idea why my mom wanted to leave the night before going to Oregon for court, but all I knew is that we’d be staying there for only a couple days. This wasn’t just any old family vacation, this was business we had to take care of.

We had to go to the court in Oregon to make things easier for both our travels. And by both, I meant for Miriam and Bob. I’d finally get to see my dad after almost 6 months. It would be weird, and I wouldn’t actually get to talk to him, most likely. But just seeing him was better than not seeing him at all.

Miriam was gonna wake Olga and I up around 4am so we could get ourselves ready if we needed to, set our stuff at The Grand Hotel in Salem literally in Salem, Oregon around 8, then we’d get on our clothes we needed to dress for court, which started at 9. It was a good schedule, and I kind of understood why she didn’t wanna drive during the day now. She just wanted to get to Oregon, and get this thing over with.

I mean, I did too, personally. Especially since Arnold isn’t coming with me.

Like I said, it was only for a couple days. Or if you really wanted to be more specific, more like a day and a half. We’d be there all day tomorrow, then leave Friday afternoon. Kind of let ourselves rest a bit more before we had to leave.

I was busy packing my small bag of the outfit I would need for tomorrow, which was a nice outfit that mom chose for me since I didn’t want to wear a dress for court. It was a buttoned up white shirt that would be tucked in by my long black pants. Accompanied by my black blazer that would go over the white shirt, then finally black shoes that I could sorta easily slip on.

Which I was trying on right now, by the way.

I looked in the mirror, started to feel a bit uncomfortable about wearing this. It wasn’t something I was normally happy with. And I didn’t mean uncomfortable as if I were meaning that the clothes itself weren’t comfortable. Just I didn’t like wearing the outfit, more insecure. Self conscience maybe.

That was, until Arnold walked in. He came back from talking to his parents for a little while and when he saw me, he didn’t think I could look more attractive. But oh, was he wrong apparently.

“What do you think about this outfit, Arnold? I have to wear it for tomorrow. It’s something my mom picked out for me.” I kept twisting myself back and forth in front of the mirror to see if it still looked okay to wear. I should hope so, this is about the only thing I can wear for tomorrow.

He stood there blushing hard. He couldn’t keep his eyes off me. As I said many times before, he’s just too cute.

“W-wow, Helga. It looks amazing on you.” He really couldn’t take his eyes off me.

I smirked as I started walking towards him. “Are you saying that because it actually does look good for tomorrow, or because you just like seeing me wear this when I’m around you?” I asked him calmly. He swallowed nervously, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him the slightest flustered before.

“N-no! I’m just saying that i-it looks g-good for tomorrow!” He looked away from me, his cheeks were very red. Which is what made me use my fingers to pull his chin in front of me. 

“Oh come on, Arnoldo. You love seeing me in this.” I told him in almost a whisper. I kept my smirk on my face, my voice calm, my eyes looking into his eyes. He was flustered. It was cute when he was flustered.

“You know, it’s cute when you’re flustered.” I admitted to him.

He didn’t say anything. I kept seeing his chest rise up and down with every few heartbeats of his growing faster and faster. His face was like a tomato, his eyes looking at my lips instead of my eyes. Now his hands had been placed on my cheeks, and made them pull me in and kiss him softly.

I slid my hands to his cheeks as well, letting my thumb play with his hair as the palm of my hand let the side of his head rest there. He kissed me like we had never kissed before. Perfect to where it wasn’t so rough, but it wasn’t too soft either. God how I loved kissing my beloved. My nine year old self would literally pass out on the basketball court of P.S. 118.

I had to break apart the kiss because I kept getting distracted by him just being here. And If I wanted to spend time with him tonight before I left, then I had to pack.

“Good to know the truth about the outfit.” I kept my smirk on me, winking at him as I took off my shirt. Which made him just walk over to his bed and just reflect what went on in the past 2 minutes.

After about 5 minutes I finally got everything packed and set aside by the door. My small duffel bag was filled with three different clothes. One of Arnold’s t-shirt’s o sleep in, one of Arnold’s hoodies, since my mom and Olga like to blast the AC in the car, and especially since I get cold easily. And then my most favorite outfit which I’ve mentioned before. I also put a pillow next to my bag since I like sleeping in the car during road trips.

And let’s not forget the golden thing of all that I have with me everywhere: My MP3 player. I had listened to another album of Lamb of God called New American Gospel, and I have to say, it’s pretty good. I didn’t really care for the lyrics, I just cared mainly for the guitar riffs. They were so freaking cool.

When I had just gotten Arnold’s shirt on, I heard a faint knock at the door. I assumed it was either mom or Olga that were gonna talk to me about tomorrow. So I opened it to reveal Olga standing there.

She peaked her head behind and waved at my boyfriend. “Hiiii, Arnold!” I swear she loved him. Probably because he loved me, and that he took great care of me in a way.

He smiled at her and waved back, chuckling. Olga had turned her head towards me to tell me, “Mom wants to talk to the both of us before we go to bed. So I gotta steal you real quick, then you can get back to packing if you need to.”

I just nodded and proceeded to follow her, motioning Arnold that I would be right back. It was hard to believe I was going to Oregon only because I had to go to a courthouse at nine in the morning. Just because I was pretty much the reason for their divorce, and that I was being called just a witness, and that I was the youngest in the family. Boy, this was gonna be a good story for Arnold when I got back.

When I went inside the place looked different then when I was in here the last time, which was around the time we moved here actually. But Olga and Miriam were completely unpacked and settled in, not minding a bit that they had to share a room.

“Hi sweetie. Now that both of you are here, I need you two to take a seat. I just have a few things I need to go over with both of you.

“Firstly. You both know by now that this is very serious. This is no ordinary vacation, and especially cannot wander around by yourself since we don’t know Oregon at all. You two need to make sure you have your outfits packed and ready to wear for tomorrow. Hair needs to look good, too. You two are considered witnesses for this.

“Secondly. The main reason we’re going to the court is to discuss the reasoning for our divorce, and who Helga will be living with and who will be paying child support. But Bob and I had already talked it over before, and we have it all figured out. We should be there for no more than an hour and a half. We’ll be lucky if it’s less than that.

“And finally. Just make sure you have everything you want packed. I will wake you both up around 3, then you girls get yourself ready, and we’ll head out of here by 4. We’ll get to the hotel in a few hours, get a quick breakfast, then get to court by 9. Olga, I’m gonna need your help navigating to the hotel. Helga, you’re welcome to go back to sleep in the car. Get good rest, girls. You’ll need it.”

I never heard my mom so serious about something. But for the Pataki’s, this was huge. We never had to deal with something like this, but we were tough as nails. We’d get through it.

I gave mom and Olga hugs and told them goodnight, then headed back to our room. Once I came in, I turned out the lights and just laid there. Arnold all of a sudden started playing with my hair. It felt really nice though, and it calmed me down a lot.

“You nervous about tomorrow?” Arnold asked me.

I sighed heavily, mainly because I felt so relaxed and that I wanted to fall asleep like this, but I wanted to spend time with Arnold before I had to wake up, unfortunately, at 4am. “Yeah, a little bit. I mean, this is huge, Arnold! We’re gonna be surrounded by people in a bunch of suits and briefcases, talking about politics, and other important stuff that I don’t really care for. I just feel like if I haven’t mentioned those divorce papers, mom and dad wouldn’t have to go through all this. It’s my fault this happened, Arnold…”

“Don’t say that, Helga. It can’t be your fault they got a divorce.”

“But it is! After dad slapped mom, I got pissed at him, then I yelled about how I found out about the divorce papers, and it all went to chaos. I didn’t think he’d actually sign them. But he did, and I almost teared up, and it wasn’t because Olga was upset. I just never thought it’d happen.”

“Well, maybe it was supposed to happen eventually. I mean, I’ve seen what your parents were like. Remember that time I came over for dinner in the eighth grade and how they acted when Bob found out whatever Miriam didn’t do? Their constant fighting was hurting them on the inside, and I think that divorce just needed to happen. Only because their fighting didn’t need to happen anymore.”

I can’t even argue with him. He had a valid point there. My parents had fought over the most stupid things over the years, but it had just gotten worse when I got into middle school, and maybe it was just meant to happen when it did happen. Sure it made me more sad, but it made the most sense.

I liked teasing Arnold and kissing him all the time, but it was these kinds of conversations I liked having with him too. I’ve learned to open up to him more these past few years, especially since after we got together. There were a few times where he’s opened up to me too. But if I’m being honest, he doesn’t really have much stuff to open up about. I mean, if he really needs to tell me something, he would tell me immediately.

He laid down next to me, looking into my eyes. He still played with my hair, while I had the faintest smile on my face. My cheeks were a faint red, my ears felt more warm than my face. Then the urge to kiss him came immediately, and that’s exactly what I did. I placed my hand on his cheek, along with the feeling of him kissing me back right then and there.

Afterwards, I hugged him, letting his head fall on my chest. He could feel my heart beating faster. I was definitely nervous for tomorrow, because I was scared I had to talk in front of everyone. Which I don’t think I have to, I just hope I don’t.

He hugged my waist, as I hugged his shoulder. It was always the same position every night when we slept together. But it never got old. The same position just kept getting better and better, whether it was the same things we did or just completely different. But right now, his warmth just made me fall into a deep sleep, letting my stress flow away bit by bit inside me.

Thursday, June 22nd.

3:00am.

“Helga, honey. Wake up. It’s time to get up and get ready.”

I felt my mom shake me as light and quietly as she could, and it took me a few seconds to realize it was actually her and not Arnold or Olga.

I rubbed my eyes, letting them get into focus. I looked at the clock, remembering that she told me she was gonna wake me up at 3 am. Part of me wanted to believe it wasn’t real, but part of me knew that this wasn’t a dream either.

Once I sat up, Miriam whispered to me to just keep my pjs on and change when we got to the hotel, and to also go ahead and get some shoes on and take my stuff down to the car. I swear I was gonna need a coffee when I got to the hotel. I knew I was going to be tired when I got there, and I knew the judge wouldn’t want to see something like that in me.

I didn’t even take the stuff to the car yet. I got up and the first thing that came to mind was brushing my teeth because the inside of my mouth tasted disgusting. So I put on Arnold’s hoodie, because the AC was set too high for some reason and I was freezing, and went to brush my teeth. As I walked there I kept sniffing Arnold’s hoodie, smelling his scent. Oh, Arnold, I thought. I also had the slightest blush on my cheeks.

Once I got done brushing my teeth, I finally took my things to the car. I kind of just threw them in the backseat and went back up to Arnold’s room until I had to go back down at 3:55. The only reason we were even waiting was because Olga had to take a shower and fix her hair and stuff. While I’m here in my pjs and my boyfriend’s hoodie. Like I gave a shit anyway.

It was only 3:20, and until it was half an hour later, I had my headphones in and was listening to the Master of Puppets album by Metallica while I was reading my book. That was, until Arnold woke up a slight bit, then scooted up just to hug me, laying his head on my chest. My smile couldn’t get any bigger when I say that I was lovesick for him.

I put my book down and just started playing with his hair, and he just tried to nuzzle his head further in my chest, tightening his grip around me just a bit. I almost didn’t wanna leave him, but I still had half an hour left. So I picked up my book while listening to my music and playing with his hair.

Around 3:50, I was still doing the exact same things, until Arnold woke up. I felt him move around a bit, which made me put my book down, taking out my earbuds so I could hear him if he tried to talk to me.

“Mmm, Helga? What time is it?”

Oh my god, he was so cute like this. Help me. “It’s 3:50. I gotta leave in about 5 minutes.” I smiled warmly.

He hummed in response, nuzzling against me. I couldn’t take his soft side. It made me not want to leave him, but I had to be strong about this. Plus it’s not like I was leaving him for a month for anything. I’d just be coming home tomorrow night.

“You gonna miss me?” I whispered to him.

“You’ll only be gone one night.” He mumbled.

“So that’s a no then?”

“Well, I didn’t say that.” He lifted his head up. I could see the sleepiness in his eyes. I knew he needed the sleep right now. He was gonna hang out with the boys later today and I know how they were with things they wanna do around Hillwood.

The smile on my face never left me as I put my hands on his cheeks, lifting his head a bit, and giving him one last long kiss before I left. I swear we’re both acting like I was gonna be gone for a long time, but it was kind of funny in a way.

I heard a light knock at the door, and my mom opened it by herself. “Go ahead and get your shoes back on, sweetie. We’ll be leaving in a few minutes.” She whispered.

Arnold sat up so he could let me get up, and he immediately flopped back on the bed. Laying on the side where I normally slept on. He watched me as I put my shoes on and gathered some albums for my MP3 player. Then he watched me walk back over to him before I gave him another kiss on the lips.

“Good luck today, Helga. And good luck to your parents too.” He said tiredly.

I pushed his hair back a couple times as I kissed him on the forehead, telling him, “Thanks, Arnold.” then proceeded to walk out the bedroom door. Once I shut it, I immediately sniffed his hoodie again and sighed heavily.

I walked downstairs and met Olga and mom at the front door with my headphones in, listening to Ozzy’s No More Tears album. Once we all got in the car, Miriam went over the plan one more time to make sure we both remembered what was going on. I had remembered since last night, so as she yapped away, I kept yawning the entire time, just wanting more rest.

I put both my headphones back in and got myself comfortable in the backseat, pretty much taking the whole part of it as I laid myself down. I brought a fuzzy blanket with me and I had my favorite pillow. Wearing Arnold’s hoodie and t-shirt just made everything better because of his scent.

Now it was time to face the fear of being in front of a judge and people in suits in Salem, Oregon.

7:57am. Salem, Oregon.

I slept the entire ride there. I did not open my eyes at the slightest thing. I just remember falling asleep to Ozzy and sniffing Arnold’s hoodie again and again. Not that it got boring, I absolutely love sniffing his hoodie. It’d be a good substitute since I can’t sleep with him tonight.

“Morning, Helga! Look how beautiful the city of Salem is!” Olga seemed too cheery for it to apparently be almost 8 in the morning. But I just lifted myself up since I didn’t even care right now. I was exhausted. But when I looked out the window, I saw that she was right.

The sun was out shining, not a single cloud to be seen in the sky. Lots of bridges to be seen, loads of buildings that seemed too high to even build. Mountains in the background that looked quite divine the longer you gave it a good look. The only thing I was concerned about was how the people were around here. Were they friendly or rude as hell?

I had recently heard a song from the radio, but I never got to finish listening to it. Though it was about 7 minutes long, it was called Riders on the Storm by The Doors. It sounded so peaceful, and I heard it came out in 1971. I liked albums that came out between the 70’s and 90’s. Of course System of a Down’s albums came out between 98 and just last year, they were still one of the best bands in my opinion.

I took off my headphones in case Miriam had to tell me any more information about what was going on today. I couldn’t believe we were going inside a courthouse in an hour. I didn’t really know how to feel about this exactly. What was I supposed to feel as a, quote on quote, “witness”? I was the one who put together this whole mess. The day had to come eventually, but it could've come later without me blurting it out.

“It really is a nice city.” I told them as I rubbed my eyes. I could feel how warm it started to get out by feeling the heat through the window, but I didn’t really care. As I predicted, Olga and mom had the AC set on full blast for some reason, and I was freezing my butt off. So I had a good reason to keep on Arnold’s hoodie until I had to change later.

“Isn’t it? Now I know I said this is no vacation, but maybe, if you girls would like to, we could go shopping or just go out to eat after we’re done with this whole mess.” Miriam suggested, and I honestly couldn’t help but smile. Maybe she could buy me the clothes I actually liked. Either that or I’d use my money and buy music or something for Arnold. But spending time with my mom is what mattered to me right now.

“Oh my goodness, mommy. I’d absolutely love to! Wouldn’t you, baby sister?” Olga asked me. She really needs to stop calling her mommy.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks mom!” I told her, now seeing the hotel we were staying at through my window.

“It’s no trouble at all, girls. As I said, this should hopefully take no more than an hour and a half. So once we get back, we can just relax for a bit, then around noonish I’ll take you two out for the day. Then tomorrow morning I’ll take y’all for coffee before we leave.” Okay, Miriam was actually being one of those “Let’s spend all our money,” kind of moms, and I loved it.

We got to the hotel a little after 8. Once we got our room key, we just set our stuff down quickly so we could get changed. It only took about five minutes to get to the Oregon Supreme Court, but with a bit of traffic in the city, and with mom having to check in, we had to get there at least 15 minutes early.

I got on my outfit and felt more confident about it than I did last night. Mainly because I was thinking of what Arnold said about it, and how he reacted to me wearing it. Which made me feel better about myself, that I ate something small before we left so my stomach wouldn’t yell at me in a stupid courthouse.

“Wow, Helga. I’m glad that fits you so well, honey. It looks amazing on you.” Miriam came out in an outfit she had similar to the one she wore that one time when she took over Bob’s job when I was nine. It really brought out the real Miriam. Someone who could flirt with a guy and he’d probably fall in love with her in a few seconds. Actually, that’s where Olga got it from in the first place.

“Thanks, mom. I felt a little off wearing this at first, but Arnold gave me some reassurance and now I feel way more comfortable.” Yeah, if you wanna call it reassurance. I almost chuckled by accident.

“Oh! How are you and Arnold doing anyways? Give me detail, I wanna know everything!” Okay maybe not everything, but I told her a lot of things that have been going on with me and him. Like what he gave me for my birthday. The other presents, not the big one. How we danced, how he’s helped me with many other things in life. How I was even planning on taking him out on a date soon.

“Oh my goodness, you two sound so perfect for each other!”

I chuckled nervously as I rubbed my hand behind my neck. “Yeah. I even brought his hoodie with me. You probably noticed me wearing it.”

“Oh yeah. I was wondering where you got that.”

I didn’t tell her that I practically wore his shirts to sleep almost every night. She knew we slept together but she didn’t know what we did in bed sometimes, and that’s probably a good thing. Though as teenagers, she probably has an idea of what we might do.

Miriam checked the time and realized, “Oh my gosh, we have to get going in a few minutes!” She walked over to the bathroom door where Olga was, knocking nervously. “Olga, sweetie! We have to get going!”

She suddenly swung open the door and revealed her beautiful dress with her straightened hair and high heels. Criminy was she going to court or a high school prom dance?

“Oh my, you look wonderful sweetie.” Mom told her, and I nodded in agreement as I stood up and started walking to the door.

“Thank you, mommy. I wore this same dress and heels in high school for prom, and believe it or not, it still fit me anyway!” Oh, okay. That answered my question. But she was that skinny?

Us three finally left around 8:35 as we made our way through the city. What really annoyed my mom was how we hit every red light whenever there was a traffic light. One thing my mom didn’t like was slow drivers, and there were plenty of those in Salem apparently.

But thankfully we got to the courthouse around the time we needed to be there. Olga and I had a seat while my mom had to fill out a few papers. Dad already came by here earlier and did everything he needed to. Now he was just waiting till the clock struck 9am.

9:00am. Oregon Supreme Court.

“Pataki family? The Judge will see you now.”

Here we go. The big house. I cannot believe this was actually happening. There were gonna be so many people just watching us, possibly taking notes on every little thing we did. I was nervous about this, and I was thankful to have Miriam and Olga with me, but I didn’t know how much either of them would notice what I was feeling.

That was, until I stopped in the middle of the walkway.

“Ms. Pataki? Everything okay?” Someone asked me, which made Olga and mom look back. They both could see the fear in my eyes that this was overwhelming. Especially since I was gonna see my dad here too. That didn’t help much.

Olga walked back and took a knee, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Everything okay, Helga?”

My heart was beating faster, my hands felt a bit shaky. I didn’t want to feel like this in front of a big crowd. God help me out of here, I shouldn’t have to be here. But I might be called to the stand. Okay, enough thinking ahead. Let’s just focus on the fact that I could barely move my legs.

“I feel so overwhelmed.” I whispered to her.

Olga then placed both her hands on both of my shoulders, and told me that it was okay to feel that way. That this was a huge situation we were going through, and that all I needed to do was breathe. To breathe, and everything should be fine the rest of the way to our seats.

She kept me close to her, walking us to where we had to sit down. Our seats came with our own desk in front of us, and we even sat in front of where my mom was sitting. I also took a glance around the place and saw that dad was sitting on the other side. Having all his focus on the judge, waiting for her to start the jury.

I swallowed nervously. I’ve been in huge situations before, but never something this serious to where I had to go to a different state for. But as I said before, it was easier for both of my parents since my dad lived in California now.

The Judge slammed her hammer down, and I knew that this was officially starting. Because the hammer slam scared the shit out of me. Normally I’m not jumpy, but this morning I was just full of emotions.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Judge Rebecca Duncan. But you can just call me Judge Duncan. Or Mrs. Duncan. Before we start this jury, I’d like to thank everyone here for getting up early in the morning just to be here. And I’d especially like to thank Mr. and Ms. Pataki for putting aside their busy schedules to come to the Oregon Supreme Courthouse today.

“As we heard, we are here to settle things with their divorce. Things as known as who is paying for child support, who will be taking their children in for custody, and who will be getting the main home that the whole family has once lived in. So, as of right now, I declare this jury officially...BEGIN!” She slammed her hammer down once again. See, I just let them do their thing as they should do until they call on me. If they even have a reason for calling me. Or Olga even.

“As seen in these document papers here, it reads that you’ve both signed the divorce papers on the date of December 21st, 2005. As seen in another set of papers, Mr. Pataki, it states that you have physically abused your youngest daughter, Helga, and your ex wife. Can you explain exactly why?”

“I was mad at Helga for a personal reason, and I let my anger control me on the inside, and it caused me to slap her. When Miriam tried to calm me down, I told myself that I didn’t need anyone babying me, and seeing if I needed help, or if I’m okay. So I slapped her out of anger as well.”

The crowd started to mumble. My anxiety level was just the same as when I walked in here. “I see. Can you tell us anything else about the two of them?”

He started talking about how he didn’t really pay much attention to me the older I became. Though he was proud of me at times, he mainly spent more of his focus on Olga. He talked about how the only time he would actually see me was if something big in my life happened. Like the spelling bee I was in, or the Romeo and Juliet play I was in when I was playing Juliet. He also talked about how Miriam would drink a lot when I was in elementary school, and that she would fall asleep on tables, the couch, anywhere in the house, and wake up the next morning always having a hangover. He also told the judge that certain things like what Miriam used to do would get him angry, and that if I did something wrong, which was apparently most of the time, then he’d get angry at me for no reason.

The crowd just kept mumbling and taking notes. This must have been serious. I mean, of course it was. This is my dad we’re talking about.

“Ms. Pataki. From what I heard, you had a drinking problem for a very long time, especially during Helga’s childhood. How long did that go on for?”

“It started about a year after Helga was born, and I drank at least once a week for about ten years. Until I went to a Mental Health Institution and got professional help. I wouldn’t say I’m completely sober. I have a drink or two at least once in a while, but it’s definitely better than the problem I used to have.” She explained. I don’t think I had ever heard the full story of mom becoming sober before. I’ve heard parts of it, and experienced seeing her going through it too. Now she feels so much better than she used to. I’m proud of her.

“That’s amazing how you’ve overcome that. What was the main reason for becoming sober, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“It was mainly for Helga. I didn’t want her to see me just as a lousy mom when I knew she was still growing up. I feel as if I hadn’t been there much for her during her childhood, but I can still be there for her as she continues to grow into the beautiful girl I know today.” She looked back at me and gave me a warm smile, which I happily returned to her.

“You’ve definitely made a good choice there, Ms. Pataki.

“Now, as you both know, one of you will be paying child support, and one of you will have the choice of who will take Helga into custody. As of right now that I know of, Olga has been living with her mother ever since she has finished college. Planning on living there for a couple years to save up money for your own place, Olga?”

“Yes, ma’am. Absolutely!” She replied. I couldn’t believe the confidence she had in her. It’s like she’s done this all before.

“Wonderful! So, Mr. and Ms. Pataki. Have you two talked things out with who Helga will be staying with?”

Both Bob and Miriam answered this one. Been a while since I’ve seen them nsync. I kind of miss it, to be honest. “We talked about it the week we signed the papers, and came to a decision that I will be paying child support until Helga turns 18.” Bob told her. “And I will be taking custody of Helga until she turns 18.” Miriam added.

“That seems like a fair agreement. Letting Helga stay in the same school and with her childhood friends seemed like a great idea. Don’t you think so, Helga?”

You couldn’t just not talk to me at all. You had to talk to me.

“Y-yeah. It is. It’s good because I have a boyfriend as well, and I wouldn’t want to be a long distance from him.” I told her in a shaky voice.

“Oh my! Well we definitely wouldn’t want that then. Alright, well now that that’s all taken care of, let’s move on to the house agreement then. Bob, it seems as though you have moved to Los Angeles because you got an offer for your Beeper Emporium to become bigger to people around them. Is that correct?”

“Yes ma’am, it is.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard my dad sound polite before in my entire life. It sounded weird.

“Excellent. Miriam, the papers show here that you sold the house the week Bob had moved out of the house entirely, the date being December 29th of 2005. Is that correct?”

Wait, what was she going on about?

“Yes, that is correct, Judge Duncan.”

Okay, wait a minute. She told me that she got drunk and sold the house by accident in January. What was she talking about?

“Mom, what are you talking about?” I whispered to her. Suddenly I didn’t care that the judge was talking to her or if it was the opposite way around, I wanted to get to the bottom of this.

“Not now, Helga.” She whispered to me, waving her hand to tell me to sit back down.

“No, mom. I’m not gonna take that crap. You told me that you were drunk when you sold the house in January. What is Goldilocks here talking about that you sold the house here after dad moved?” I swear the judge’s hair was the exact color of Goldilocks.

“I said, not now, Helga. Now sit back down so we can get this done.”

“Miriam, did you lie to Helga about the house?” Bob asked, now curious. Sounds like he didn’t know what Miriam did either. She owed me an explanation anyway, not him. According to Miriam, she didn’t have to explain things to her ex husband anymore.

“This is none of your business, Bob. Now please sit back down.”

“If this is concerning my daughter, I should have a right to know what the hell’s going on as well. I knew you sold the house after you left but I didn’t know you lied to Helga about it.”

“Please stop. Just- everyone stop yelling!”

“No, Miriam. You owe me an explanation!” I yelled at her.

“How do I owe you an explanation?”

“You didn’t before but now you do! We could still be living at our house by now! Not that I don’t enjoy living at the boarding house, it’s just that you were hiding the truth from me, I guess? And I want a good valid reason, Miriam: What did the judge mean when you sold the house in December?” I kept raising my voice. My anger started bubbling up inside me. If it was true that Miriam had been lying to me for almost the past 6 months, then I would be more than happy to get home right about now.

“Well, Miriam? WHAT’S THE REASON?” Bob yelled at her. Unfortunately I got my anger issues from him.

“BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO THINK OF YOU WHEN I WALKED INSIDE THAT HELLHOLE ANYMORE!” Her voice had echoed throughout the entire courthouse. Almost everyone’s faces here were full of shock, and I couldn’t tell you how shocked dad, Olga and I were when we all heard Miriam curse for the first time. I had never seen mom lash out like that before, It was kind of scary, in a way.

“I lied to both of you girls to protect you. I had gotten all your things before your dad fully moved out. And since he was going away, I wanted you girls to get used to another man in your life that wasn’t just your dad. So Miles found me, and we went on a couple dates in those few weeks, and I got your girls to meet him.”

I shook my head in disbelief. I could not believe what my mom was actually talking about. “So let me get this straight. You sold the house, because it would make you think of dad. So you met another man just to take your mind off him and to let us get used to someone other than my own father? And instead of telling us the truth, you lied to our faces and told us you were on the phone drunk when you sold it? How could I be so stupid? I should’ve known it was a lie! Because you told me it was after I went to bed too! How could I not see it? It’s so obvious now!” I wanted to cry. I wanted to shout at my mom. I wanted to let out so many emotions that you wouldn’t believe how many I’d actually let out.

“Honey, please. It was for a good cause.”

“WHAT CAUSE, MOM? Because I certainly don’t see what’s so good about the lie you decided to tell us, and what’s so good about the stunt you pulled! We could still be living in our house right now, and you fucked it up just because you didn’t wanna see dad anymore! I get why you did it mom, but that really was a shit move to pull.”

"ORDER IN THE COURT!" Judge Duncan yelled, and it made us all jump, especially me. Right now my emotions were all over the place that it was making me scared easily.

"Miss Helga! I herby order you to please remain quiet until the rest of the jury is completely over. You will not lash out like this again in front of everyone and especially not your family. And you will especially not use that kind of language while we are all here today. Do you understand?" She spoke so clear, and so firm. It made it look like she was made to do this job.

"But Judge-"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND, Miss Pataki?"

My face felt like it couldn't move, I felt like I couldn't move. The way she spoke put me in a bit of shock at times, and this was one of those times. I sat in my chair slowly next to Olga, who put a hand on my shoulder for comfort. I spoke quietly, yet in a way she could also hear me. "Yes, ma'am."

"Thank you, miss. Now as I was reading, Ms. Pataki, I saw that you have sold the house officially at the end of December. That is correct, yes?"

"Yes, Judge Duncan."

I hated how she admitted it so quickly. It's like she didn't care what she did to Olga and I. It's like she never married dad at all. It's like never even considered what we thought when we would find out about this eventually. It's almost like she thought that Olga and I wouldn't even care...

1:33pm.

City of Salem.

We finally finished around 11am or so. It was a good thing I left my MP3 player in the car, because I didn't wanna hear a word that Miriam had to say to me. The worst part was that I didn't even get a chance to say hi to dad. I was going to after we got finished, but he walked out as quickly as he could once it was called that it was done.

This was only like a 5 minute drive from court to the hotel, may I remind you. But it still gave me some time to think about things. Like why would mom lie about something that she could easily have told us in the beginning? We would've understood. We've both have had some kind of experience like that. It made me pissed off that she lied to the both of us for almost six months though. And what did dad think about this when he found out? He didn't even know Miriam lied to us.

What really shocked me was that she lied to Olga about it. I get she was trying to protect us, but Olga's an adult. She was 12 years older than me. Mom could probably have trusted her with that information. But she didn't. I don't even know if anyone else knows about it, but if they do and she hasn't told us that part yet, I'm seriously gonna be pissed off at her for who knows how long.

While I was thinking about that, I had also remembered one of her rules being no one wanders off on their own. But first of all, I’m 15. I can take care of myself. Second, I needed to get away from Miriam anyway. And third, I needed a coffee and a sandwich. I was tired and hungry. So when I got back to the hotel, I changed my clothes, and also had Arnold’s hoodie tied around my waist. It was too hot to wear it, but I still wanted it for comfort. This was a rough morning, and boy was I definitely filled with some emotions. To cool down, I just grabbed my wallet and walked over to the nearest Starbucks.

The one I walked to had an outdoor sitting area. So once I ordered my coffee and two ham and swiss croissants, because they didn’t have sandwiches, and sat in my little area. I could feel the bags start to form under my eyes. I had only gotten about 3 hours of sleep in Arnold’s room, and I didn’t sleep well in the car. I was exhausted not only mentally, but physically. But luckily I did feel like eating, I was hungry anyway.

When I took a bite they actually weren't that bad. But when I did order I almost order strawberries because I have had enough for one morning, but thought it was a bit extreme and dramatic. So now I just had my headphones in, eating my croissants and sniffing Arnold’s hoodie. It was one of the only things that was even putting a smile on my face right now. It just felt nice to have the scent of Arnold when he wasn’t here, and boy could I use a hug from him right now.

But speaking of Arnold, there was one thing I forgot that he told me about a while ago, and it wasn’t until I felt a tap on my shoulder that I remembered-

“Hey.”

Arnold’s cousin, Arnie.

He told me a while back that he moved down to Oregon, but he never knew which part of Oregon. Out of all the cities, why did it have to be the capital of Oregon?

I took a deep breath, knowing I just had to get this over with. I just hope he didn't flirt with me or anything. He's told me he's loved me and that's where I drew the line when he told me he broke up with Lila. But now that I have to talk to him, I looked at him as he took a seat next to me, telling him kind of awkwardly, “Hey, Arnie. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

“I live here. My house is just down the street.” Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be down the street?

“What a coincidence.” I told him in a tone that was a sign for him to get away from me. God if there were one wish right now, it would be that Lila could be here just go back to Arnie. I just hope she didn't go by the house to talk to Arnold. He's told her that he needs to have some time apart from each other, but who knows what she might try/

“Yeah. So what are you doing here?” He did his weird snort like a pig. That always gave me the ick. It also just sounded gross when he did that. And the fact that he asked what I’m doing here did not make me feel any better. I didn't want think about why I was here. I just didn't want to be here, even though Salem was a really nice town. Maybe if Arnold comes visit Arnie again soon, I'll ask to come with him. The keyword in that sentence is maybe.

“Getting my parents divorced.” I told him in a flat tone.

“Oh, that must be nice. You want some plain flavored gum?” He snorted again. I’m gonna punch him like I punched Brainy all those times.

“Uh, no thanks.” I started getting up and trying just to get away from him. “Well it’s been nice chatting with you but I gotta get going.” I started backing up at that point. I really didn’t wanna talk with anyone right now, not even Arnold. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts and music.

"That's okay. You can always come to my house if you get lonely." He snorted once again. Okay that the biggest sign to leave immediately.

"Yeah. Okay bye!" I started sprinting at that point. 

I put on Arnold’s hoodie and rolled the sleeves up immediately so I couldn’t get too hot. It wasn’t even past 90 so it wasn’t too bad. But if I get a heat stroke, then god help me now.

I walked past all the shops and saw a music shop next to a comic book shop. I decided to go in there first and have a look at it. There were many vinyl albums and CDs in the collection that was stored up here. There were also posters for sale and guitars and drum sets. Everything you’d see in a music shop.

I grabbed the CD of the Lamb of God album I was listening to a little bit ago and bought that immediately. Then I just browsed around at the comic book shop, not really seeing anything that I wanted from there. So I just walked out and walked around town with my new CD and coffee.

It’s so weird. Arnie lives down the street. I hope he doesn’t know where I’m staying. Otherwise I’d have to punch him.

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006.

12:30pm. The car.

We were finally on our way home. I just kind of threw on a band t-shirt of my own and some comfy shorts for the ride home. I laid on my left side the entire time, still not making eye contact with Miriam. I was just in my own world with my music to soothe me.

That was, until I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I took out one headphone to see it was Olga who tapped me. “Mom would like to know what you want for lunch.” Even the word mom had me mad. I wouldn’t properly speak to her until she would truly apologize for what she did, and lord knows when that’ll happen.

I turned back to my side and before I placed my headphone back in, I just told Olga I wasn’t hungry. She tried to get me to eat something when she got her food, but I wouldn’t budge. But this was bad. I wasn’t eating because I was mad at my mom, and that meant I would be starving for a couple days.

We got home around 4:30 and I just went straight up to our room. Arnold wasn’t home yet, but I got everything unpacked, even though there wasn't much in my bag, and just laid on the bed. I could honestly take a nap right now, I was still exhausted after getting a semi good sleep last night.

But I was also hungry, but that could wait till later.

I have to say though, taking a nap was one of the best decisions I ever made. When I woke up it looked kind of late outside. So I turned my head to see that it was almost 11pm out. I rubbed my eyes, and out of nowhere, I just saw Arnold laying here next to me playing with my hair.

I smiled warmly at him, wanting to kiss him now that he was finally here. But I also just wanted to tell him everything that happened yesterday. But if I told him tomorrow and just spent some quality time with him tonight, it’d be fine. Right?

Either way, I felt the tears come to my eyes. So I hugged him like I never hugged him before, and just cried in his arms, without giving any explanation...yet.

Chapter Text

Tuesday, July 4th, 2006.

2:10am. Arnold and Helga’s room.

Earlier I woke up around 1:30 in the morning with the most annoying pain a girl could ever feel when it was that time of the month for them. So I got up to use the bathroom, and then I couldn’t fall back asleep.

I didn’t bother waking up Arnold mainly for two reasons. I wanted to let him sleep in, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, especially with the mood I was feeling. So I had my headphones in, listening to Slayer’s Seasons of the Abyss album, with the song on Spirit In Black, and playing the amazing sounding guitar riffs. With the exception of me not being too loud for Arnold of course.

Speaking of Slayer, their newest album was coming out next month, and I was super excited for it. It was called Christ Illusion, and I have been waiting for it everyday since Arnold and I got together last year. I wonder what the drums will sound like, along with the guitar riffs, and let's not forget the lyrics. I was so excited, yet impatient.

As I played my guitar, I think I might have been strumming on the strings a bit too much because while I was playing the guitar riff on my favorite part of the song, I saw Arnold waking up in not the most satisfying way you’d wake up on a partly cloudy night. I paused my music and took out my headphones in case he started talking.

He did do that, in fact, and I kind of wished he didn’t because I just really wanted to play my guitar. I haven’t played it since I left for Oregon, and I could use some practice before I was busy for later on. It was Independence Day afterall. I had things planned, especially with Arnold.

“Helga? Why are you up this late?” Arnold asked me in a sleepy tone. I still thought of him cute that way, but now wasn’t the time for that.

“Well, if you must know, Arnoldo, it’s that time of the month and I’m in a very bad mood. So I’d go back to sleep now before you mess with ol’ Betsy right about now.” Wow, that is not what I wanted to say. And I know Arnold was concerned for me right at that point, because I haven’t talked to him like that since the sixth grade. 

He sat up and looked at me confusingly. “Wow, is it that bad this month?” Oh he did not just ask me that.

“It’s bad every month, Football Head. Stop getting all weird with this!”

“You were the one who mentioned it, Helga. I’m just asking a simple question.”

Calm yourself, Helga ol’ girl. You don’t wanna get into a fight with him early in the morning, especially since you two are going out later. Just talk to him, open up to him. He’ll listen, he’ll help you. I kept thinking. This wasn’t his fault, he didn’t deserve the kind of attitude I was giving him right now.

I set my MP3 player to the side before taking off my guitar and placing it down in its case. I got up and walked to Arnold’s bed, taking a seat on the mattress, practically sitting in front of him. He had his elbow holding him up on the bed as he was waiting for me to talk.

“I’m sorry, Arnold. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I think I’m just under a bit of stress right now, and it mainly has to do with my mom and I. We haven’t talked a single word to each other in almost two weeks, pretty much since we came back from Oregon. And right now with that on my mind, it’s making me do and think things I don’t wanna do or think.”

I could feel him sit up, scooching up next to me. Not placing his hands on mine or even on my shoulder, just listening to me. That's kind of exactly what I need right now...until I’ll want a hug from him probably in a few minutes.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what do you mean by doing and thinking of things you don’t want to do?” He asked calmly, yet curiously. I really didn’t want to tell him, but I’ve gotten really good at opening up to him, and right now my brain was right about him helping me. I could surely use it right about now.

I sighed, clasping my hands together, sitting crisscrossed. This really wasn’t how I thought my morning would go, but I didn’t see a way out of this now.

I swallowed nervously, I didn’t want him to get mad at me or anything like that. Last year I tried telling my dad this kind of thing because I thought he could help me. Big mistake. He started yelling at me for why I shouldn’t feel that way in the first place, and asking me why I kept going to my therapy sessions when he specifically told me that Pataki’s don’t go to therapy. I told him that I really could use these sessions, but he then called Dr. Bliss and tried to cancel on me. But she explained how well I was doing in these, and recommended that I had to keep going because it was doing good for me, and helping me get better. After that he just slammed the phone and marched to his room, pissed off at me.

So yeah, I know Arnold isn’t that kind of person, but I didn’t want him to get mad for what I was about to explain to him.

“Uhm, ever since mom, Olga and I came back home, well, you know I told you about the huge argument that we had in court?” He nodded his head.

“Well I really haven’t spoken to Miriam since that day, which was almost 2 weeks ago. And I keep thinking how it’s my fault that my parents are officially divorced now.” I swallowed again, my breath ragged. My emotions were taking control now, and that was one thing that time of the month could do to you. “It really hurts me, a lot more than what it did before. And now that my mom and I haven’t spoken, and since those 2 weeks ago, I- I really haven’t eaten much. I’ve been so stressed that I haven’t been wanting to eat. But there have also been times that uhm...” my voice was shaky, my eyes started filling with tears, and I felt Arnold’s hands on mine.

He caressed my hand with his thumb, looking at me in a calming way. When he told me, “Take your time,” I took a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. My breath was still shaky, and my voice a tiny bit hoarse. My eyes were still filled with tears that were ready to stroll down my cheeks. As I felt my hands start to shake a bit, I was finally ready to tell him.

“There have been times where I-I’ve wanted to c-cut myself.”

The fear in his eyes said it all. He wasn’t mad at me, he was worried about me. My heart was beating like crazy. I could feel the tears stroll down my cheeks one by one. I really didn’t wanna worry him like this at 2 o’clock in the morning, but I really needed to get it off my chest. And what not to do that than to my own boyfriend. Great.

He asked the most difficult question. “H-have you actually done it before?”

My eyes went wide. I didn’t even wanna think about that, but I needed to answer him truthfully. Honesty is key to a good relationship, and you know it’s a good relationship when they're here to help you in any way possible.

“O-once or twice.” I answered. The first time was two years ago, where my parents had started fighting almost every night about the most random things for a month and a half, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t know what to do, I was so done with their fighting. I even thought it wasn’t a good idea to do it, but I did it anyway. On my hips where no one could see it, and I was only 13 at the time too.

The second one was just recently actually. A week ago really. I couldn’t stop thinking of the divorce, the fight between my mom and I, the fight between my dad and I, when I got slapped, all their fighting. Just every single bad moment between me and my parents. So I cut myself near my wrists, which is the reason why I’ve been wearing long sleeves all week.

I told Arnold all of that, and even showed him the cut marks. There were so many of both my arms he couldn’t believe it. He looked so worried, but scared as well. I don’t think he even knew what to say. He never dealt with self harm before, and really neither have other than that moment two years ago, but the one now was way worse than the other one.

He rubbed my cut marks, and some of them were fresh. So when he got to one near my wrist I flinched because it hurt when he touched it, and it even made him jump. I know the last thing he’d want to do is hurt me in any way possible.

His hands moved back to mind and I couldn’t help but look at him teary eyed once more, telling him, “I’m sorry, Arnold.” I felt as if I really needed to stop crying so much. This wasn’t who I was. The old Helga would push through it thick and thin. But right now, the new Helga just needed a hug from her boyfriend.

He immediately wrapped his arms around me, embracing me like he never did before. I hugged him back, and I didn’t exactly cry, because I wanted to control my emotions right now, but the tears did flow down my cheeks. But I was also taking deep breaths, trying to control my breathing, and it was working well.

My breath was still a little shaky though, but I managed to pull through. I needed to be strong about this, but I knew Arnold wasn’t gonna let me down on this one. I had a feeling he’d worry about me for the next day or two. “Helga...why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

I looked away from him. Why didn’t I tell him? Why did I have to be this way towards people? Why wasn’t it that easy to just come to a person for help? Especially when you need it badly? 

“Because I was worried you’d be mad at me like my dad was when I opened up to him.” I admitted, still looking away from him.

He held my hands again, this time looking straight at me, even though I still had my head turned. “Helga, listen to me. I would never get mad at you for opening up to me, and you know that. I’m happy you did, because I’m always here to help you. You’ll never be alone in this, you have me, Phoebe, Gerald, Olga, and everyone else who stuck by you all these years. If you ever get in trouble, you know my number. Call me immediately. I’ll come as soon as possible.” He moved one of his hands down to my thigh. “I’ll always help you in need, Helga. Because I love you, and I want you to be safe.”

That’s what caused me to turn my head around and place a warm smile on my face, and it made me think how much he really cared for me, and how much he’d do anything for me. It made me lean in slowly and kiss him, placing my hand on his cheek.

He moved his hand from my thigh to my waist along with his other hand moving to my waist as well. I could feel him pulling me in as I moved my other hand to his cheek. His face was soft, warm. It made me put a hand behind his head, playing with his hair, while I could also feel his grip tightening a bit.

As I broke apart from the kiss, I looked him into the eyes and I saw his look of love again. So genuine, so beautiful, how could he love me so much? After all I’ve said and done to him in the past? He was just amazingly perfect, and what was I? Who knows.

But what I did know was that he was warm, while I felt a chill in me. So I scooched back real fast and laid back down, covering the blankets all around me. I looked at Arnold, and I saw that he had his arms crossed, like he was pretending to me mad that I backed away from him.

“Oh come on, Arnoldo. I was kind of cold. You gotta admit it is a bit chilly in here from the A/C.”

Nothing.

“Alright. Guess I’ll just have to lay here all by myself. Staying nice and warm.” I saw Arnold look back for a second after he got a chill in him as well.

I saw that he got flustered, which was cute by the way. You hardly ever see him get like that. But I’ve noticed the more that we’re getting older the more he’s really gotten attached to me, as I mentioned something like this before. But like I said, it’s not that I don’t like it, I just thought it was a bit odd assuming on how we were as kids.

Arnold scootched back and covered himself with the blankets as well, holding me tight, probably because of what all I’ve told him. Which is understandable, but I really didn’t want him to worry about me so much. But he probably will be, knowing him. Well, maybe not so much of worrying, but more of just trying to let me be careful on things that I might wanna do that would be bad decisions.

“Helga?” He said softly. I keep forgetting it’s almost 2:30 in the morning.

“Yeah, Football Head?”

“If you ever feel that way again, please tell me, okay?”

I couldn’t help but smile softly. He was just too sweet. I kissed him on the forehead, feeling my eyes starting to get heavy. I then wrapped my arms around him, sniffing his hair because that’s the kind of person I am, and I finally responded to him. “Okay, Arnold.” in a low tone of voice.

7:00am.

You know one of those miniature party blowers people normally use on birthdays? Well Olga decided to use one early in the morning. And guess how she used it?

She blew it so hard when she kicked our door open and yelled, “HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!” Which caused me to scream loudly, and fall off the bed. Arnold got startled by the fact I fell off the bed, then started laughing. Of course it caused me to smack him on the side of the head for two good reasons. I’m his girlfriend, so I’m allowed to, and I was not in the best mood when I woke up once again for that one reason.

“OLGA! WHAT THE HECK!” I yelled, and when I checked I was definitely not happy.

What’s worse was that she was also laughing, and that I felt like punching someone. Actually, I just felt like punching both her and Arnold for laughing.

“I’m sorry, baby sister! I just didn’t think I’d scare you that badly!”

At that point I grabbed the clothes I planned on wearing today and went into the bathroom before anyone else was in line. “I’m taking a shower,” I told both of them angrily.

“Oh come on, Helga. You can’t really be that mad on Independence Day can you?” Olga dared to ask me as she followed me to the bathroom. I turned to her and gave her a look of no emotion, yet anger bubbling up inside me.

“Ohhh, that time huh?”

I slammed the door on her from that moment.

Once I turned on the shower I went and brushed my teeth, also staring at myself in the mirror. My hormones weren’t usually this bad, nor my emotions, but I guessed I was just really ticked off by everyone today. Even though it was only 7:03 in the morning.

I saw the lines under my eyes and thought nothing of it at first. Until I started thinking about last night, and how I’ve been feeling lately. Were these because of stress? Was I mentally tired? Or physically tired? I’ll have to talk to Dr. Bliss about this Thursday. She didn’t do open sessions on holidays unfortunately.

I got in the shower and started air guitaring and singing lyrics from the songs that I loved. It was about the only thing that made me forget about everything that was going on right now. But what I really needed to do sometime soon was make up with Miriam. I couldn’t ignore her forever.

I will say one thing though: I loved dressing up in aesthetic kinds of outfits. Which is why I’ve bought a couple beanies, pairs of converse, band t-shirts, and jean shorts for the past couple years. And even though it was July and in the 80’s, I still wore a hoodie. With the sleeves rolled up while I’m outside of course. While I had my sleeves covering all my arms because it was always cold in here.

But anyway, today I had on a plain black t-shirt, along with a brown hoodie over it, while wearing jean shorts that went down to my knees, white tube socks and my black converse, and of course, a black beanie to finish it off. I personally liked the outfit, but let’s see how other people felt about it.

I went back into our room and casually went to the mini fridge and grabbed a monster energy drink. I had started buying those because I’ve been a bit tired lately, and when I looked to see if Arnold was looking at my outfit, he wasn’t even in the room.

Well criminy.

He must’ve been downstairs eating breakfast. At this point I was good with a monster and a couple of pop tarts being my breakfast. I’m so healthy, they say. Yeah right.

I went downstairs with the open drink in my hand, and was actually going to put the poptarts in the toaster. But when I went in the kitchen, I saw Mathew kissing Miriam hi, and let me tell you I was not expecting him to see him here.

And I definitely didn’t expect was a behind hug from Hailey. “Helga! I’ve missed you so much!” May I remind you she’s still 12. Her birthday is in December though. Still a long way away, but it’ll come by quick.

“Nice to see you again, Helga. We’re gonna spend the day with you guys for Independence Day! Isn’t that wonderful?” His face was full of joy, while mine was just no emotion at all. It wasn’t even 8 in the morning yet and I was getting hit in the face by my mother and this man staring at me.

I really wanted to ask my mom why the hell he was here so early this morning, but she wouldn’t talk to me anyway. Neither would I. We’re on no speaking terms after all. Luckily this awkward moment passed when the toaster dinged for my poptarts to be done.

“Oh look, pop tarts are ready.” I practically said to myself, since I’ve never spoken directly to Mathew either. I’ve kept my record for knowing a person without talking to them up this long, I wasn’t gonna break it now.

I walked out of the kitchen as Hailey followed me, and it was just so funny to see Mathew confused by how awkward it was in there.

“Still not talking to each other, huh?” He asked her.

“It’s been almost two weeks. I’m still trying to give her some space, but I feel like I should say something. I don’t want her to be mad at me forever, you know?”

“I get that, but you just gotta let time go by until she’s ready to talk. You know her better than I do. So you should know when she’s ready to talk.”

“I just hope it’s soon. I hate being the victim, especially since I wasn’t exactly the best mom to her as she grew up.”

“I’m sure she’ll come around. You just gotta be patient.” He kissed her on the cheek as he went to go grab a cup of coffee, and Miriam had the warmest smile on her face. It sickened me, yet it made me upset in a way.

I went upstairs to eat my pop tarts as Hailey followed me, she explained that her dad was leaving her here because he had to work for a little bit, only until 2 though. Then he’d be coming back and celebrating with Miriam and the rest of us.

I was kind of excited to have Hailey with us again. I’ve really missed her these past couple months and it’d be nice to spend the day with her, along with Arnold of course.

We mainly talked about girl stuff and laughed at jokes and other things. She told me the drama that went on while she was in 8th grade, and I gave her advice on things she could do next time to prevent certain drama. I also told her to just let drama happen at times, depending if it’s juicy or not.

And now that I think about it, the only good thing that’d happen if Miles and mom did get married, was that Hailey would be the perfect younger sister to be around.

8:36pm.

The Sunset Arms Boarding House. The roof.

We had set chairs and had American flags and everything 4th of July themed outside. Except when Gertie made foods like it was Thanksgiving. Apparently it was supposed to be like Thanksgiving, and that they do this every 4th of July. I guess it kind of makes sense, assuming they cook hotdogs and hamburgers in November.

Unfortunately I was stressed out a bit today so I haven’t eaten much, and I was ready to eat anything but a cooked turkey right now on a holiday in July. Luckily, Phil was secretly making hot dogs in the kitchen downstairs, so I put a little mustard and called it perfect, adding some chips and dip to the side as I head back up.

Arnold, Gerald, Phoebe, and Hailey were all waiting for me to sit with them with their dinner. And once Gerald saw me with a hotdog he immediately ran downstairs because I guess he didn’t want turkey either. I don’t blame anyone who goes downstairs to get a hot dog or burger. Who wants Thanksgiving turkey in July?

When time went by a little bit we all sat in a circle and just talked and laughed until it was almost time for fireworks. It wasn’t completely dark yet, and the fireworks weren’t supposed to start until about 9.

Hailey’s only spent a few 4th of July’s with her mom. She passed about a month before her 3rd birthday, which I would’ve been devastated about if that were me. I felt so bad for her, but I had promised her that if Miles and Miriam do get married, that Miriam is a good mom with a big heart, and she’ll be there to take care of her like she took care of Olga and I.

You could not imagine how happy she was when I said that.

Now we’re here. Hailey’s first 4th of July with loads of people with her. She was super excited when I told her earlier this morning about it, and that couldn’t have brought me more joy than it did now.

“Did that really happen, Gerald?” Arnold asked him, and I had no idea what they were talking about. Might as well join in the conversation now rather than later I guess.

“Oh definitely. Get this, Pataki. My parents decided to get me this vanilla cake with red frosting for my 1st birthday-”

“Why red frosting?” I asked curiously.

“I have no idea, actually. I was always fond of red though.” He smiled like it was a million dollar smile.

Oh criminy... I thought.

“Anyway, they got me a vanilla cake with red frosting, and I dug my hands in and as I ate it, red frosting was all over me, man! Like all over my face and on my stomach, my hands of course, but on my arms as well. I swear it looked like I killed someone!” 

“Now this I gotta see pictures of.” We all laughed at that one.

Just then the door swung wide open to reveal Gertie coming out with more Thanksgiving food. “Happy Thanksgiving everyone!” And everyone there started laughing.

I got up to get some more Dr. Pepper to drink, and that's when Oskar came up to me just staring at me. Oh criminy, what a throw pillow.

“Hello, little blonde girl.” He did his weird little laugh. Never satisfied me.

“Helga, Mr. Kokoshka. It’s Helga.” Reminds me of my dad in a way.

“Oh that’s right. Helga. So what are you doing?”

“Getting a drink?” Was it not obvious?

“Would you like a baked cookie I made earlier?” There was that weird laugh again. It makes me wonder if he actually made those or not. In a way, he most likely didn’t, but I went along with it until I could confess.

“Sure, why not.” I took the cookie from the plate and took a bite. They were just regular chocolate chips, but they were really good. Ones that tasted like they were from the store. Made me wonder why he was always such a liar.

“Oskar, I can tell these were from the grocery store.” I told him in a flat tone.

“What are you talking about? I made these with my bare hands!”

“Dude, I can tell the difference between homemade and store bought.” I really could. Especially if Olga made homemade cookies, and those would be about the only homemade cookies I would eat.

Speaking of cookies, I actually saw Arnold helping my sister make homemade cookies today. They were putting red frosting on some of them, white frosting on others, and blue frosting on the last of them. Even with sprinkles on top. I tried a couple and they tasted amazing. But I also have to admit, it was nice seeing my sister and Arnold hang out, it really put a smile on my face. Normally I’d be extremely jealous, but it was nice seeing them hang out.

Anyway, back to this stupid argument. “But I’m telling you I made these myself!”

“Oh stop lying, Kokoshka!” Ernie started yelling. “I can even tell by the way they look that they’re store bought! Stop being a big fat liar, Kokoshka!”

“Okay, fine! They’re store bought. But give me credit for at least buying them.” There was that weird laugh of his again. God he was so weird.

“No! Get out of here! Ernie yelled, and Kokoshka ran to his wife, probably telling on Ernie or something. It wouldn’t work anyway, I know how his wife is and she doesn’t go easy on him just like that. I’m just surprised they haven’t gotten a divorce yet.

I walked back with my store bought cookie, bringing my friends one each. I told Arnold how Oskar kept lying about how he supposingly made them, even though I could tell they were store bought. He said that that sounds like something he’d do.

When it was around 9, we all went to the front of the building, leaning on the wall so we could all watch the fireworks a bit closer. Before they started, Mathew walked up to me and told me that my mom wanted to talk to me. Of course I still didn’t say anything to him. Never have, never will.

But I walked to my mom anyway, and once I got there I had my arms crossed. Prepared for anything that was about to come out of the mouth of hers. Who knows, she might lie again. And just then, I saw Olga coming beside me as well. This meant that this had to be about Oregon. Well jee lets just see what she has to say for herself.

“Girls, I want to apologize for that couple of weeks ago. For lying to you for those six months. I wanted to tell both of you the truth, I really did believe me. But I just couldn’t. I knew you’d both be mad at me either way, and I don’t know why I chose the wrong path for that. So in my defense, I deserved for both of you not talking to me much. Well, more or so Helga, but you both get my point. But what I’m trying to say is that I am so, so sorry for what happened in Oregon. I don’t expect your forgiveness, much less deserve it. I just wanted you both to know that my actions did harm to both of you in most likely different ways, and it was wrong of me, especially as a mother, to do something like this to you two.”

Okay, maybe I felt a little bad for not talking to her for those two weeks. But like she said, she deserved it, but in my defense, she really didn’t in a way. She was just trying to protect us, and I understand that.

In all that commotion, I hugged her like I never hugged her before, and Olga did the same thing. I can’t tell you what it felt like when my own mother actually hugged me back. It felt so amazing that it put a warm smile on my face.

“We forgive you, mom. We understood why you did it, but just don’t do it again.” When I tell you she cried, she was crying with tears of joy, but a bit of sadness as well. It was so sweet.

After all that, I went back to the wall with my friends and told them that I’ve finally made up with my mom. All of them seemed really happy about that, especially Arnold. Hailey didn’t exactly know what went on in Oregon, and she didn’t need to for at least a couple more years.

Just then, Mathew turned on the radio, which played the national anthem. Afterwards a person on there was talking about how great this country was and all of that stuff, while I was thinking of kissing Arnold while the fireworks went off.

Once the person yelled, “God bless America!” the fireworks finally started going off. About five minutes, I looked at Arnold, who looked mesmerized by all of the fireworks shooting in the sky. They were really cool looking I had to admit. Some were small, some were huge, some were different shapes, and more.

But what I was really interested in right now, was an amazing kiss from my boyfriend. I looked over at him and whispered, “Hey, Arnold.” Once he looked over, I placed my hands on his cheeks and kissed him sweetly. I could feel him kiss me back immediately, wrapping his hands around my waist like no one was looking.

I think Hailey stared at us the entire time, but who cares?

We broke apart from the kiss and he looked me in the eyes. I don’t think his smile could get more gentle than it looked right about now. He truly was the sweetest boy in all of Hillwood, and he was mine.

“Happy 4th of July, Helga.”

The fireworks shot off again and he kissed me once more. This time for even longer, and it just made me fall madly in love with more than I have ever. Except for on my birthday but that’s besides the point.

Once I broke apart, I looked at him sweetly and softly told him, “Happy 4th of July, Arnold.”

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006.

11:59am. The Music Shop.

The day finally came. The day of Slayer’s newest album, Christ Illusion. Once the time reached 12pm, I was gonna be the first to get it.

I had saved up more than enough money for the past few months to get my hands on this, and there was no way I’d miss out on the chance of buying it the day it came out.

The clock had finally reached 12pm and everyone bursted through the doors. Luckily I was still a bit small enough to squeeze through some people. But when everyone moved out of the way I thought there weren’t any more copies of it, assuming I saw like 30 different people grab it all.

That was until Alex called me over to his desk. I was confused for a minute, but that’s when he showed me that he had saved a copy just for me since he knew that people would be taking Slayer’s newest album. Alex knew me so well for that, and with that, I took out my money and paid full price for one of the most beautiful things in the world.

Once I paid and walked out the door, I immediately started listening to it on my MP3 player. I could not explain how excited I’ve been wanting to hear this, ever since Alex had told me about it the day Arnold and I got together.

While I was riding the bus home, I felt like I was in heaven. The drums sounded so freaking cool, the lyrics just the same. The guitar riffs, oh my god I felt like I fell in love with a guitar. Slayer was just that cool. They were one of my favorite bands ever, aside from Metallica. And don’t get wrong, Van Halen is my favorite guitarist, but Slayer...something about them just has my heart.

I was on the last song of Christ Illusion when I walked into Arnold’s room. He knew I was going to get the CD today and knew how excited I was. So he wasn’t surprised to see the happy faces and smiles I was making while I had my headphones in.

But when the song ended, it just felt like the actual end. It was done. Over. I finally listened to it for the first time. And let me say that those were some of the best 38 minutes of my life.

“So? How was it? Did you like it?” Arnold asked me curiously.

“Arnold...I’m gonna listen to it again.” That’s how much I loved it.

Chapter Text

Saturday, October 7th, 2006.

8:45am. Arnold and Helga’s room.

Arnold’s POV.

Sixteen. I was officially sixteen now, and I’d also be able to get my driver’s license next week.

Sixteenth birthdays were supposed to be the best thing ever. But what wasn’t exactly the best was that I didn’t wake up next to Helga this morning. I didn’t know if she was getting me last minute gifts or taking a shower and letting me sleep, but if so it was awfully sweet of her.

But what I did see was a birthday present on the edge of my bed, with a piece of clothing underneath it. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, stretching afterward because it just felt so dang good to stretch.

I reached for the present first and opened it up. It was an MP3 player and a couple of Van Halen CDs. In the box were also a few packs of Pokemon cards, since we’ve been opening those up lately. What I couldn’t believe was seeing the MP3 player in there. She must’ve saved up enough money to buy me one, which was really sweet of her. Because I knew there was no way she’d give her own to me.

I put the box down and reached for the piece of clothing that was folded neatly. You don’t see that from Helga everyday. I realized there was a small note on top of what seemed like a hoodie.

We’ re gonna be going out today, and since it’s getting a little chilly outside I’d figured you could wear my hoodie for the day. I don’t know how big it’ll be on you since I’m still a bit taller, so you might wanna try it on. Happy birthday, Arnoldo. You deserve this day more than anything.

Love,

Helga

I smiled warmly at her note, and told myself that I was sure to keep this forever. The hoodie was a beige color that had a skull and fire as the picture, with Metallica written on top of it. I promised myself to be careful with it since I knew how much she loved this hoodie.

I stood up and took a good stretch that felt absolutely amazing. I was wearing pajama shorts but no shirt because, well, at this point you should know what Helga and I like to do. But I tried on her hoodie and it did seem a little bit big, but I liked it like that.

I couldn’t help but bring it up to my face and smell her scent on it. Even though she’s lived here for almost a year, I was still able to smell her scent on her hoodie, and her clothes as well. But me wearing her hoodie all day was gonna be great.

Just then I heard someone coming upstairs and decided to lay back in bed because I didn’t wanna awkwardly stand up if Helga or my parents came into our room. Which also made me look inside the box of gifts again just because why not.

I saw a head peep through the door and knew immediately it was Helga, but why she was doing that I had no idea.

“Happy birthday, Arnold!” It was then that she was carrying in a tray of my favorite breakfast. A five stack of chocolate pancakes with butter and syrup with a bowl of bananas and blueberries and a cup of delicious orange juice. 

I was surprised and happy at the same time, and I couldn’t believe that she brought this up for me. “Wow, Helga. Did you make this or did my parents?”

“I got up early this morning and made it just for you. I made them homemade, and don’t worry! I let your parents taste them before I gave them to you. The milk also tasted fine and I ran to the store this morning and just bought the fruit. So breakfast is served!”

The fact that she did all this for me and that it wasn’t even 9 in the morning said a lot about how much she really cared. It put a warm smile on my face and made me wanna kiss her really badly. But I really wanted to eat these pancakes, they looked so good.

I took one bite and it felt like I was in heaven. It was just perfect, and I couldn’t believe these were homemade as well.

“Oh my god, Helga! These are amazing!” I told her as I started cutting and eating them quicker than before. 

“Geez, Arnoldo. Slow down! You’re gonna choke if you keep eating like a maniac.”

“Sorry, Helga,” I told her with my mouth full. “These are just really good.”

“Glad I followed that recipe well enough. I didn’t get a chance to taste them.”

And that’s when a funny idea popped into my head. I moved my tray aside and leaned in front of Helga, putting my hands on her cheeks. And that’s when I told her, “Well I’ll let you taste it then.”

Of course I didn’t actually have any pancake in my mouth, that would be disgusting. I did have the taste of it though, and boy did it taste amazing. To let Helga taste it, I just French kissed her like I always do, and she should be able to realize how amazing of a job she did when she made them.

I stopped French kissing her as I moved my tray back in front of me, and her face couldn’t be more priceless. I saw the blush across her face and even on her ears, and I could tell her heart rate had begun going faster when I was kissing her.

“A-Arnold! What the hell was that for?!” She was so flustered it made me laugh. I do admit that I could have just given her a bite of mine, but what would be the fun in that? I felt very affectionate today, like I always do, but today I felt especially affectionate.

After my laugh died down my smile turned into a smirk while I just stared at her. It was just so great to see her like that I almost laughed again, but I held it in. “Did you like the pancake?”

She didn’t answer me immediately. Her mind was going crazy about what just happened a minute ago. I don’t blame her though. If she did that to me I’d be the exact same way she was right now. But in a way, I didn’t feel bad for doing it. I wanted to do it, and deep down, she knew she loved that.

“Y-yeah.” She mumbled, and I decided to tease her a bit.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you.” I smirked.

“I said I liked it!” Helga yelled, blushing still.

I continued to smirk at her while eating my pancakes, they were really that good. And once I took a bite, I claimed victory and told her, “That’s good to hear.”

“Oh just you wait, Arnoldo. I’ll give you a night you’ll never forget. And you’re gonna be surprised, believe me.”

“We’ll see about that, Pataki.” I continued smirking, taking another bite of my pancake.

“You’re on, Shortman!”

12:23pm. City of Hillwood.

I knew today was gonna be amazing when I found out that Helga was taking me out on a date.

After both of us got ready I put her hoodie back on me, secretly sniffing her scent over and over again. Though I think Helga saw me do that a couple times but I didn’t care. We got our bikes from the garage, because I felt like riding bikes today, and she took me to see one of my favorite movies: Triassic Park.

We were there for about an hour and a half before having a double date with Gerald and Phoebe at our favorite burger place. All four of us pretty much ordered the same thing: a cheeseburger with a side of fries and a milkshake. Helga and I decided to share one since we both wanted cookies and cream. After we finished she even paid for the two of us. She said Gerald would have to pay for himself. But man, what a woman.

We then went to the park for a little while and just played catch while talking for a couple hours. It was actually kind of relaxing in a way, just spending time with Helga. My nine year old wouldn’t believe it, but I could truly say I’ve fallen for her.

She then took me to the last baseball game of the season where we cheered for our team as loud as we could. And believe or not, they actually won! They were close to losing, but man, it was such a good game. She even bought me a hotdog and some popcorn as well. She must’ve saved up a lot of money for this day to come. I’ll ask her about it but knowing her, I doubt she’ll say anything but “Don’t worry about it.”

When we got home around 4ish, I saw that everyone was getting ready like they were going out. I was confused, until mom and dad came up to me and told me that we were going to Seattle to eat at Texas Roadhouse. I couldn’t tell you how excited I was hearing the news. I ran over and hugged my parents, and they told me once again happy birthday, and that they loved me very much.

I love my parents more than anything in this world.

I ran upstairs and fixed myself up after my date with Helga. This place wasn’t too fancy, but it wasn’t like any old fast food restaurant either. So when I saw Helga coming out looking more casual than usual, I was very much impressed by what she wore.

Since the temperature was perfect outside, she changed into a white crop top with baggy jeans and her nikes. Meanwhile I had on a Metallica t-shirt with baggy jeans as well and my converse. And of course, I still had on Helga’s hoodie. Not because I was cold, but just because she said I could wear it for today, and I wanted to wear it as much as I could. Though I think I can all the time, but I’d still ask her first if I could.

Her crop top was also kind of like a tank top combined, but the outfit still looked great on her, and I’m not just saying that because I’m her boyfriend and that my cheeks felt warm once I saw her like that.

“Well you’re looking nice tonight.” I told her, placing my hands on her hips. I’ve seen other girls wear stuff like that but never really cared for it. But seeing Helga wearing something like that was a whole different story.

“Well I have to get dressed up just for you, Football Head. I knew you’d like it if you saw me wearing something like this, and I knew your face would get red just for seeing me like this.”

She wasn’t wrong, my face was red. I couldn’t help it though, she looked really nice. That’s exactly what I told her too, and I couldn’t help but give her my look of love once again.

“Well you don’t look so bad yourself, Arnoldo. I mean, my hoodie does look cute on you. I’d let you keep it for another if I wanted you to, and I might. Maybe.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. But in all seriousness, she really looked nice, even if she was a bit exposed at her upper body area. I couldn’t help but notice she’s gotten a bit skinnier these past couple months. She’s told me about her eating disorder getting bad again, but I just hope she’s eating at least one full meal a day. Eating’s important of course, and I just didn’t want anything bad to happen to her if she didn’t eat enough.

I moved my hands to her arms, feeling the cuts again. They’ve healed up pretty well, but I could still feel all the scars on there. It didn’t feel the best in my opinion, and it still scared me from time to time.

She grabbed my wrists gently, telling me, “I don’t do it anymore, Arnold. It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. I’ve told my mom about it, and believe me she was worried too. But she signed me up for an extra session with Dr. Bliss and gave me all the help and advice I needed. After I told my mom about my problems, she and I have gotten much closer, and I really like how our relationship is now. Her, Olga, Hailey and I even went shopping all together before school started while you were with Gerald and the guys.”

“Oh that’s right, you have told me that.”

I saw her warm smile come upon her face as she looked into my green eyes. And I couldn’t help but stare back into hers. I liked her bow on her when she was younger, but now it kind of looks better without it. Either way, she was still beautiful.

I lifted her left wrist and gently kissed her scars. I also saw that her smile slightly faded; she could still see the fear in me just a bit. But how could I not have that bit of fear inside me? I would also be worried for Helga if something happened to her, or if she did something that hurt her physically or mentally.

She then took both her hands and placed them on my cheeks, slowly leaning in and kissing me softly like it was our very first kiss. It felt more romantic each time we did so, and boy did I love her kisses. It made my stomach feel like there were butterflies inside each time, adding one more butterfly every time we kissed.

I kissed her back as I held her closer to me. She could feel my heart beating quicker once I pulled her in. Though my heart always beats quickly everytime we kiss. I definitely didn’t see her soft side in the past, especially before we saved the neighborhood from the FTI. After that I kind of flirted with her because I gave her confession a lot of thought, and the more I thought about it, she’s done so much for me and I did a lot for her in the past. She truly was the one for me, even if she was totally obsessed with me in the fourth grade.

We finally stopped kissing after a few minutes and I just couldn’t help but smile. I had no idea why. But then there was the urge to lean my forehead against her shoulder, wrapping my arms fully around her. She always gave the best hugs, and she told me the same thing, especially when I hugged her those few times in the fourth grade.

She chuckled, hugging me back. “Clingy today, aren’t we?” She asked me in a soft tone.

“Mhm. What, am I not allowed to be?” I smirked, teasing her as I started backing away from her. But she pulled me towards her tightly, feeling like she would never let go of me.

“Now hold on there, Football Head. I didn’t say that. You’re stuck with me for your whole birthday no matter what.” She said with a smirk also on her face.

“No one else I’d rather be stuck with, Helga.”

“Good. Now let’s get downstairs before our parents start wondering what we’re actually doing.” She winked at me, which made me blush a little.

When Helga ran to the door and swung it wide open, we were both surprised to see Hailey standing right in front. But as always, she yelled Helga’s name and gave her a big hug. Helga didn’t seem to think much of it until after Hailey left her side. Was she standing there the entire time since we kissed, or did she just get here? I really hope it’s not the first thought.

We got downstairs and saw everyone waiting by the door. My parents, grandparents, the boarders, Helga’s family, plus Mathew and Hailey, and Gerald and Phoebe were coming along with us as well. Good thing everyone is paying for their own food, especially since we have a party of 16.

We had to take three vehicles. Mr. Potts, Mr. Hyunh, Mr. and Mrs. Kokoshka rode in one car. Miriam, Mathew, Olga, Phoebe, Hailey and Helga rode in their car. Then Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, Gerald and I rode in Grandpa’s car. I would’ve been sad that I didn’t ride with Helga but in a way, it made sense. Plus I feel like I need to catch up with Gerald on things that went on in our lives.

It was a satisfying hour riding to Seattle before we finally got to Texas Roadhouse. One of my most favorite restaurants ever. When we got inside, a couple waiters had to push two tables together for all of us to eat together. Finally a waitress showed us to our seats.

On the way there, a guy was looking at Helga up and down and I felt the jealousy immediately bubbling up inside of me. I wasn’t normally like that, but this guy just seemed like the type to go all over girls when and if he wanted to. Luckily Gerald saw the situation and told him to back off unless he wanted to mess with him. The guy rolled his eyes and kept himself to, well, himself.

He and I did our little handshake that we’ve done since we were 3. Still a classic.

I told Helga a million times that she didn’t have to pay for me if she didn’t want to, but she insisted. I think she got tired of me asking, “Are you sure?” and just yelled at me that she would. I didn’t wanna piss her off anymore than she was then, especially since it was the wrong time to ask since it was that time of the month for her. Bad idea, but I just wanted to be sure if she really wanted to.

The music played throughout the whole restaurant as normal, everyone seemed happy with what they were going to order, Oskar and Suzie were fighting about something stupid while grandpa, Mr. Hyunh and Mr. Potts was yelling at Oskar as well, mom and dad trying to calm them down, and the five of us just laughing at the scene. Yep, everything was perfect. Especially since they had my favorite thing on the menu: The 8oz Sirloin Steak with grilled shrimp, and 2 sides of a house salad and baked potato. One of the best dinners I ever have.

The waiters announced that there was a special birthday for the whole restaurant to hear, and they all yelled, “Yee-haw!” as a way of telling me happy birthday. I’ve seen them do that for other people but I never imagined they’d actually do that for me. It felt really nice for people to do that, even if they meant it or not.

We then went back home after a couple hours. We dropped off Gerald and Phoebe as they wished me one last happy birthday. Before Gerald went inside gave me a small birthday gift. He said it was something that I would always remember, and it made me wonder what it was.

We finally got home and my parents gave me one huge hug and wished me one last happy 16th birthday. Everyone else did the same, which I thought was kind of funny. But while that was going on, Hailey and Helga said goodbye and that they’d see each other this weekend. Olga and Miriam wished me a happy birthday, and Miriam even gave me a birthday card. She put $20 in it and wrote something inside:

I know how much Helga means to you, and ever since you and her got together, I’ve noticed more of her soft side, and just Helga being herself around us more. She tells me how happy she is with you and she definitely seems happier. But now to the real reason I’m writing: Happy 16th Birthday, Arnold. I may not have actually seen how much you’ve grown, but I can say you’ve definitely got a good heart, and you are such a kind soul and always put others before yourself. Such an amazing young man like you makes me trust you to be with my Helga. If you’d like to talk to me about anything, just knock on my door anytime.

-Miriam

That was so freaking cool of her.

I’ve known Helga’s mom for being an alcoholic most of Helga’s childhood, but I’ve also heard that she’s changed so much after Helga turned 12. She quit drinking and started focusing more on herself, and now she’s super healthy, sober, and has a good job. Paying for the needs of her kids—though ones an adult and ones sleeping with me, but that’s besides the point.

The boarders all gave me $20, while grandpa gave me $50, and even Helga gave me like $30. So I came out to $180 in total. I was so thankful for everyone who actually wanted to give me money. I had friends and family with me the entire day, that’s all I could ever really want.

While Helga was in the shower, I opened up the present Gerald gave me. Believe or not, it was a picture of our entire friend group when we were in the fourth grade. It was so amazing that I remember Mr. Simmons taking the picture for us.

(Art by tapioca.puddin on insta & tumblr :D)

It made my eyes tear up just a bit. Gerald actually kept something this amazing just for me. I really couldn’t ask for a better friend like him. He even framed it just so I could put it somewhere in my room. One thing was for sure: It was going right on my nightstand. As well as a framed picture of Helga and I that was sitting on my computer desk that felt like it should be moved.

I put in a System of a Down vinyl in my record player and got changed into a pair of pajama pants. Without even putting on a shirt, I put Helga’s hoodie back on. It was still my birthday, so I still got to wear it. I gave it another sniff, and I just fell into lovesick mode. But after swooning over my girlfriend, I got to work rearranging some things in my room. Mainly the pictures, but some of the stuff on my shelves as well.

Then out of nowhere Helga comes running in here and shutting the door, grabbing her guitar and playing most of the song by memory. Her hair was still wet, but brushed, while she’s also wearing pajama pants and one of my t-shirts. At this point those are just hers. She steals them from me all the time. She practically owns them now.

But I was just impressed to see how much she remembered from a single song and how well she’s been practicing because she played so damn well that she hardly made any mistakes.

Once the song was over she cracked her knuckles and placed her guitar back in her case. “Man, I love System so much,” she told me.

“I’m super impressed by the way you play. I mean, you must’ve gotten a lot of practice in this past almost year.”

“Oh no kidding, Football Head. I’ve practiced a lot in the music room last year and this year, and I plan to keep doing so.” She admitted as she sat down on the bed, just now noticing the picture Gerald gave me.

“During your study hall period?”

“Yeah. I have all my work done most of the time so it gives me a chance to practice if I want to. I would do it during lunch but I’d rather be with you guys.”

“Speaking of us guys, did you see what Gerald gave me?”

She picked up the picture, examining it. It really was a nice photo that Mr. Simmons took, and I think he gave us each a copy, but something happened to my old one. Gerald told me that he went to P.S. 118 and asked him if he had an extra copy and luckily he had one last copy. I only knew that because he wrote that in a note he gave me.

“I remember Simmons taking this! It’s such a good picture of us! It doesn’t have Lila in it, I like that.”

I chuckled at her comment. “I bet you do.”

She placed the picture down and went to go turn out the lights, leaving a couple small lights on for us to see a little bit of the room at least.

“Alright, Shortman. It’s time I give you your final present for the night. And it’s gonna be a damn good one.”

I smiled softly as my face started getting a little warm. She pushed me against the wall with the latter going to the roof. She placed her hands on my cheeks like she’s done before, leaned in slowly and kissed me softly. I kissed her back immediately as she already started rubbing her hands against my chest and stomach. At that point I started French kissing her.

I pulled her closer and placed her on my lap. She seemed to have no problem with it, and of course neither did I. We kept making out like we were so used to it, which we kind of were in a way. But what surprised me a bit was that she already moved down to my neck, giving me kisses there. But what made me moan was the fact that she bit my neck in a satisfying way that it made me wonder where she learned to do something like that.

“H-Helga,” I said between breaths.

“Happy 16th birthday, Arnold.” She whispered, then continued to give me hickies on my neck.

Sunday, October 8th, 2006.

6:00am. Arnold and Helga’s room.

I could not believe we stayed up all night making out for 7 hours.

It really was the most satisfying birthday present I could have ever imagined. Helga did things in ways I can’t even explain, but the thing I will admit was that she did it way better than when I gave her her birthday gift.

Now we were here cuddled up on the bed. Both of us were shirtless (yes she got me to take off her hoodie, but it was worth it). My head was nuzzled into her chest as usual while my arms were wrapped around her like I never wanted to let go, same with Helga. Her chin was on my head, her arms wrapped around me as one of her hands caressing my back. It really showed that she cared that much, but was afraid of losing me as well.

She knows this already: I’m never gonna leave her side. Ever.

Chapter Text

Wednesday, November 8th, 2006.

10:37am. Hillwood High School.

Helga’s POV

Well, Matthew finally did it. He proposed to my mom.

I didn’t think that man actually had the guts to do it. But now he was my mom’s fiance, and Hailey was gonna be my step-sister. Which also meant that once they were married, I’d be considered a middle child. Wonderful. I was excited for Hailey to legally be part of my family, but the thought of being a middle child always gave me weird feelings.

It was all girls too. Olga’s the oldest, Hailey’s the baby, and what am I? Just there? The sophomore girl who’s had a boyfriend for over a year. Don’t even bother saying my legal name now, what I just considered myself is what I’m called now.

My mom and Matthew were already planning on when they were getting married, even though he only proposed to her just 5 days ago. At least get some time to relax before you rush into what you’ll be for the rest of your lives. You know? But anyway, their marriage date, from what I heard, is gonna be in the middle of the week for some reason. But their planning on December 4th of 2007. If mom wants to get married in the cold, then so be it.

One thing’s for sure: she’s gonna be shivering in that wedding dress.

It was more or so Matthew’s idea than anything else, and I think Miriam just went along with it because she loves him. That’s a habit that she’s had with dad before too. Just agreeing with everything because she doesn’t want to make people feel bad. I get that, I’ll do it at times too, and even Arnold does it a lot. But she should be able to state her own opinions too.

I came home later that day to see Hailey and Olga sitting on the steps, and of course I was confused. It sounded like mom was having a rampage in the kitchen. I wouldn’t blame her if she was.

“Hailey? I thought you weren’t coming over till Saturday?”

“Dad dropped me off because Miriam said that she had something she wanted to talk to us about. So Olga and I have been sitting here until you came home.” She said with a slight, but soft smile.

“And mom’s sounding crazy in there because…?”

“She’s overthinking everything. I’m worried about her, baby sister.” Olga told me. I was so used to Olga calling me that, but now it’ll sound odd since Hailey will be the youngest.

I set down my bag on the steps as the three of us peeked at mom in the kitchen. It really did look like she was under a lot of stress, as if she was about to have a panic attack. But it’s not like it was gonna be literally next month, she and Matthew still had a year to plan everything out, and that was more than plenty of time.

“How long has she been like this?” I asked, hoping one of them would give me an answer.

“Almost an hour now.” Olga replied.

We kept watching her freak out over things that she shouldn’t be freaking out at a time like this right now. This reminded me of the time when Mathew broke up with her before court, and she wasn’t in the best state then. But I know how much Matthew really takes care of her, because I haven’t seen her so much happier since she’s met him.

We finally went back and sat on the steps until about 15 minutes later that she finally came out to us. Her hair was kind of a mess, her dress was a bit wrinkled, I could see lines under her eyes like she hadn't slept in days. What the heck is going on in your mind right now, Miriam?

“Hi girls! So glad you’re all together. Okay I wanted to talk to you guys about the wedding.”

“You mean the wedding that isn’t happening for another 13 months?” I said, reminding her that there isn’t really much to stress about. But knowing her, she stresses quite a bit on certain situations in life.

“Yes, but we might as well go ahead and start planning who’s going to be who in the wedding.”

It’s so funny how much I was such a tomboy unlike Hailey and Olga. Hailey had on a navy blue sweatshirt with baggy jeans and regular white tennis shoes, including a white headband in her hair. Olga was wearing her usual outfit: white buttoned up shirt with a black vest and her green skirt. Followed by white socks that covered her whole legs and nice brown shoes. While I was wearing a white sweatshirt with ripped baggy jeans, my air force 1’s, and a backwards navy blue cap. While also listening to System’s album Mezmerize and drinking a monster energy drink. Oh yeah, so girly.

“Alright. Are you girls ready to find out what you’ll be?” Miriam asked us like she was some kindergarten teacher getting their kids hyped up to go play outside.

We all replied differently, but pretty much saying that we were ready.

“Alright. Olga, you are going to be my Maid of Honor. You’ll get to help me with makeup and other things to help me get ready before I get married.”

“Oh goodie! I’ve always wanted to put makeup on you! Trust me, mommy, you’re going to look so beautiful when I get the ideas I need!” Well Olga was certainly excited about this. I’m just curious about what I’ll be. And more importantly if Arnold’s going to be in on this too. I’m not going to the wedding without him, that's for sure.

“Nothing on the downlow, but nothing too flashy either. Just right. I mean it, Olga. Please, for the love of God, do not go overboard.” Miriam begged.

“Oh don’t worry, mommy. I’ve got more than plenty of time to find the right kind of makeup design just for you!” Okay now she’s being a little too cheery.

“Okay, great. Hailey, you are going to be the ring bearer. That means you’ll come down the aisle and bring the wedding rings on a small pillow to me and your father.” She explained. I would’ve been okay with being that even. I seriously don’t want a big role in this.

“Oooh! Will I get to wear a beautiful dress with beautiful sandals as well? I don’t wanna wear high heels. They’ll make my feet uncomfortable.”

Miriam chuckled. “Yes, Hailey. We’ll get you a pair of comfortable shoes for you. Even with little diamonds on the straps if you want them on there.” She smirked. One thing that Miriam has gotten good at lately was saving a ton of money from her job. The only thing she’s really been buying the most is groceries we need.

“Yes, yes, absolutely!” Too bad she had to wait a year to get those shoes.

“And last but not least, Helga!” Since when am I not last?

She continued, “You’re going to be the flower girl!”

At that point I almost spit out my monster. I said I didn’t want a big role in this. “F-flower girl?”

“Yes! You’ll be walking down the aisle with your basket of whatever flower we choose for you to sprinkle on the walkway, then stand with the bridesmaids in front of the crowd.” She smiled. I haven’t seen her smile like that in a long time. This role she chose for me must be important to her. So I guess this is important to me too.

“Huh. Who would’ve thought. Me, a flower girl.”

“Oh girls, you have no idea how excited I am to get married next year. Believe me, if the three of you ever get married there will be some stress added on to you but boy you’ll get to imagine how your wedding will be and that’s all that’ll be on your mind until that special day comes around. Oh I just know this year will go by quickly!”

“Yeah, like every year does anyway.” Hailey chuckled at that comment. It was true though. Every year just seemed to be going by quicker and quicker these days.

“Now that’s not the kind of attitude I want while we're doing all this wedding stuff, Helga. I’m gonna plan a special vacation for the four of us in the summer to celebrate, and hopefully a few girls' days out next year as well.”

She was right in a way. I couldn’t really be acting like this during her actual wedding day, and I didn’t want to. I had to be respectful about this kind of thing. Though I’ll still never speak a word to Matthew. I never had to and I’ve never done it before.

But speaking of vacations though, there is one place Olga and I’ve been wanting to go to: California. We’ve been wanting to see dad for a while now but Olga’s been too busy with her job and I’ve been in school. But we’re hopefully planning on buying plane tickets and flying down there. There’s no way we’re gonna spend 17 hours in a car together.

We’ve been meaning to talk with Bob about this but he’s been busy with his beeper emporium, but we planned on staying down there for a week. Letting him show us around the perks of Los Angeles. I’ve always wanted to go down there, but mom said it was always busy and not a good place to go. Which I get why in some ways, but Olga and I haven’t seen dad since court, and we didn’t even get to say hi to him. So this would be a good chance to see him.

While Miriam was going on and on about the wedding, I tapped on Olga’s shoulder, wanting to tell her my idea. I whispered, “Let’s call dad later. Telling him we wanna come to Cali in mid January.” Olga immediately smiled. She was happy that I still wanted to go for that, and that I even remembered.

That was when Hailey tapped on my shoulder, whispering to me, “What are y’all whispering about?” It was funny because at this point mom was just babbling about the wedding while walking back and forth, having no intention that we were whispering over her.

“We plan on visiting our dad in California in a couple months.” Olga told her as she leaned in so Hailey could hear better. “But we have to check with him first to see if it’s okay, ‘cause we plan on staying a whole week. Or at least a long weekend.” I added before taking another sip of my energy drink.

“Woah, California? Can I come along?” I was afraid she would ask that.

I honestly didn’t know how to respond to a question like that. It’s like, I wanted to say yes to her but I didn’t because it was dad. And I don’t know how dad would take it seeing my mom’s fiance’s daughter who was going to be our step-sister.

But luckily, and surprisingly, Olga answered that question for me. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea, Hailey. I don’t know how well dad would take it if he saw his ex wife’s fiance’s daughter. Plus your daddy probably wouldn’t be too fond of us taking you 17 hours away from him, even if it was just a long weekend. I’m sorry Hailey, but I’m afraid you can’t go.”

I’ve never seen Olga handle something so maturely like that before, especially towards a younger person. I mean yes she handles stuff like that before, but towards someone who’s willing to meet your anger issued father? She had two good points mentioned in what she said that Hailey has to understand why she can’t go. Plus it was more of an us two kind of trip, since this is our biological father.

“Yeah, I totally get it. But you better bring me back a souvenir. I’ve always wanted something from Los Angeles!” Hailey seemed sad that she wasn’t able to come, but reasonable to hear those two main points. What she said did make Olga and I chuckle though.

I punched lightly on the arm and told her something that really made her day special to her. “You got it, sis.” I smiled warmly at her, and her eyes sparkled like I was the light of her life. Which I probably was one of those light of her life. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile at me so warmly before, it was really cute actually.

We looked back and mom was still babbling, but all Hailey and I had the excuse that we had homework to do, while Olga told her that Hailey would probably need help with it. Once mom gave us the OK, we immediately ran to her and Olga’s room as Olga grabbed the phone to call the one person we haven’t talked to in forever. Or I haven’t at least.

“Alright, Hailey. You might hear some cursing from our dad, and that’ll most likely come from his anger issues. And this is part of Olga’s reason for why you can’t come along with us either. Okay?” I explained to her, and she nodded her head.

“Olga, dial the number. Let’s call that old man of ours.” I sat on the swivel chair still chugging my monster and putting my feet on the desk. While Olga and Hailey sat nice and neat on the bed. Criminy, call me a tomboy.

She punched in the numbers as the phone was ringing from the other line. It was a good thing Olga remembered Bob’s store number, otherwise we’d have no other way of contacting him. Unless we bought a beeper from him, but there wouldn’t really be a way of doing that either.

“Wait, what is your dad’s name anyway?” Hailey asked curiously, and I was about to tell her, you could hear this really angry pick up on the phone. Well not really, but I could tell he was angry. It was instinct.

“Big Bob’s Beepers. Bob speaking.” He said, which made me point to the phone practically saying, What he said.

“DADDY!” Olga yelled, and I just slapped a hand on my forehead. Hailey was very confused, but that makes sense. She didn’t know what went on in the household of mine before they got divorced.

“Olga? Is that you?” Bob said, sounding stupid.

“No, Bob. It’s Helga. Who else would call you daddy?” I said, imitating Olga’s voice when she says daddy.

“Hey hey hey! Don’t get sassy with me, young lady. I didn’t pick up this phone just to fight with you!” At that point Hailey seemed really confused, but concerned. She wasn’t used to this type of thing from her dad. He was a good dad towards her after all.

“Sorry. Continue.” I told him, crossing my arms as I rolled my eyes.

“Thank you. Now, Olga. How have you been? Still enjoy living in Washington?”

“Oh it’s great, daddy! I got a new job a while back and I’m making tons of money to provide for Helga and mom!”

“That’s great honey. Now what about Helga? What shit has she been getting into?”

“Oh you know, the usual. Actually doing things like going outside and going places unlike you did before.” I smirked. There were some times where I just loved getting dad angry, it was funny to me for some reason.”

“Well unlike you, little lady, I have a job. What about you? Do you even have your permit yet?”

“Had it for 5 months now, Bob.”

“Uh huh, nice. What normally you two don’t call just for small talk. Why are you calling anyway? Your mom didn’t fuck anything up, did she?”

It was then that someone knocked lightly on the door, and I pointed at Hailey to go see who it was. She got up quietly, knowing not to make noise so Bob’ll think it’s just Olga and I in the room. When she opened it, revealing in front of the doorway was none other than Arnold.

He was tutoring someone at school and had to stay after school for a little while. But he seemed really tired, like that kid was having trouble understanding what the hell he was being tutored on in the first place. It was mainly math but it was a bit of history as well.

I was a little concerned because he hasn’t looked this tired since he had those nightmares, which made me think that he had one without telling me this morning. But that couldn’t have been the case because he seemed pretty energetic this morning.

Either way he came in for a hug, wrapping his arms around me a bit more tightly than usual, laying his forehead on my shoulder. Okay now I know something was wrong. But unfortunately, I’ll have to ask him after this call. If we could get this vacation, this would mean the world to me right now.

“As you should know, Bob, we call you because we wanna ask you something.” I yelled to him, gently caressing Arnold’s back.

“Whatever, ask away.”

Olga spoke up this time. “Well, daddy, we were wondering about coming to see you sometime!”

“What, you mean you girls fly out to California?”

“Yeah. We’d get the plane tickets soon, and then come see you in like mid January for a long weekend. Thursday to Monday most likely. What do you say, Bob? Because I think I speak for both Olga and I when I say: we really want to see you again.” Olga agreed with me in a split second.

“Well, I don’t know, girls. Do you really wanna come here? I mean the city is definitely busy during the day, and especially at night. I don’t know if it’s such a good idea coming to Cali.” I never thought he’d think about anyone but himself. Or at least himself and Olga.

“Daddy, we wanna come because we wanna see you! Sure we’ll probably see the city, but we were hoping you’d come along with us and show us around a bit since you’ve been living there for almost a year now!” Olga explained so cheerfully. There’s no way dad would say no to Olga. He loves her very much, I would know.

“Well, do I have to pay for the plane tickets?” That was his first question?

“No, dad. We’re saving up money ourselves to buy them.” I yelled.

“You know how much plane tickets cost these days? It’s fucking ridiculous!”

“We can do it, daddy! It’ll all be taken for us!” Olga reassured him.

“Well, if you girls are paying for that, then I guess it’s okay to come down here if y’all really want to.” And that’s when my smile grew big. Sure my dad and I fought at times, but this was a chance to actually see and talk to him in person again. And now I had to save up money for my own plane ticket, but Olga told me if I still didn’t have enough when the time came, she’d give me some extra money for it.

“Oh you’ll be so excited when we see you, daddy! Thank you for letting us come!”

“Anything for you, Olga. And the other one too.”

“Helga, dad. It’s Helga.” I told him.

“Whatever. When are y’all coming?”

“Well I was thinking January 18th, which is a Thursday, then we go back to Washington that next Monday.”

“Okay. Well it was great talking to you girls, but my break’s about to end. Gotta get back to selling my world’s famous beepers!” He laughed. I hadn’t heard that laugh in so long, believe me.

“That’s alright, daddy. We’ll see you in a couple months!” Olga said cheerfully.

“Goodbye, Olga. And uh, talk later Helga.” I rolled my eyes, slightly smiling.

Once Olga hung up the phone, we sat in silence for a few seconds before yelling, “WE’RE GOING TO LOS ANGELES!” We were so excited that we talked about it for a good few minutes, until Hailey actually needed help with her homework.

Meanwhile, Arnold and I went to our room. He still looked really tired, and he looked like he was about to cry. I was just hoping he wasn’t having nightmares again.

“Arnold, what’s going on? You haven’t had those nightmares again, have you?”

“No, I haven’t Helga.”

“Then what’s wrong? Please tell me.”

He looked at me, but didn’t hold my hand or anything, but also seemed like he could use another hug. I don’t know what he was going to say here in a second, but I’d better be prepared for whatever comes out his mouth.

“Abner...he passed away this morning.”

That was about the only thing I wasn’t expecting him to say. But his childhood pig that he got from the Green Eyes? Passing? I knew it had to be heartbreaking for him, they were super close when we were in the fourth grade. I even babysat him a few times, and remembered the times he whined for Arnold to come back. Reassuring him that it was okay and that he’d come back soon. Abner was everything to him, and as much as I hate to admit it, he was bound to pass some time between last year and next year.

But I didn’t say anything to him. What I did do was dim the lights, set on some calming music, and held him tightly in my arms. I leaned my back on the wall while Arnold’s head was resting on my chest, arms wrapped around me. He didn’t even cry. Most people would cry over a pet, but I knew Arnold was stronger than that, and it was probably a good thing he didn’t cry. But God knows he might be doing that soon.

We sat here on this rainy Wednesday afternoon, sitting in his room until he could feel a little bit better. Poor Arnold though. I know how much he misses Abner, and I know that Abner must miss him up in Heaven too.

Wednesday, January 17th, 2007.

6:19pm. The dining room.

My eating disorder’s been getting worse.

Tomorrow Olga and I leave for California and I don’t know why, but I’ve been so nervous this past week that I haven’t been eating much, and I think I’ve lost a bit of muscle too. And I hate that I’ve hadn’t had time to practice my guitar because of school lately. I’ve been behind on some assignments because I’ve been spending so much time with Arnold these past couple weeks. But I’m definitely bringing it with me so I can practice at night.

About our plane tickets, our plane leaves at 4am. Olga wants to get there bright and early, and I for some reason thought she meant we’re getting up bright and early. I would’ve been okay with leaving at 7am, but leaving around 2 is a no for me. But if I want to see dad, I’m really gonna do this.

So yeah, we’re pretty much leaving in less than 8 hours. That’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past 10 minutes while twirling my fork on my spaghetti. Olga made it tonight, and everyone seems to be loving it. I would love eating it too, but I was very nervous for tomorrow. I shouldn’t be, but I haven’t seen dad for over seven months. So this was going to be interesting.

I packed mainly my most aesthetic outfits, most of which make me look gay, but there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Personally I love wearing outfits like that, they make me who I am. Like right now, I’m wearing a blue sweatshirt with light gray baggy jeans and a backwards white cap, of course with my nikes. Can’t forget those shoes.

But back to our plane tickets, Olga and I have saved up enough money for each of us to buy our own plane ticket. She did offer to pay for mine back in December, but since they’re $325, I told her I’d save up on my own. So I’ve been getting paid from all the borders to clean up their homes at least once a week, and it wasn’t that bad actually. Which is why I haven’t been able to practice either. I come home from school, do homework if I feel like it, clean one of the boarder’s places—sometimes two if the first one isn’t that bad, eat dinner, then spend the rest of the night with my beloved.

I hated schedules, but I really wanted to go to California. So here we are with a $325 plane ticket. Luckily I don’t have to do that anymore. Since I have a lot of free time, especially when I come back, I’ll get to practice a lot of the time.

The one thing about this trip was I was gonna miss Arnold. My beloved Football Headed God. I will always think about you every way possible, and I mean every way. Day and night you’ll be on my mind, those beautiful green eyes of yours, your golden hair, that little hat you always wear. Oh, Arnold. You are everything to me, and I’m going to miss kissing your stupid yet adorable face. Oh how I love you, young Football Head.

About another 10 minutes passed by when I was finally done eating, it really was good spaghetti, I just didn’t feel like eating. But I knew I had to, or Arnold would have been mad at me. I did tell him what I’ve been feeling this past week, but he was more concerned about my eating habits than anything else, which is understandable.

Olga told me to make sure I had everything packed and that I was still awake by the time we had to get going. I pretty much had everything packed up and by the door except my guitar, which I was going to practice on a lot tonight. I’m also bringing a couple monsters in case I need them, which hopefully I don’t.

Arnold was in the shower while I had my headphones in listening to the System of a Down album Mezmerize. Turns out my muscle memory is still there just like I hoped it would be. I hit pretty much every chord and every riff right, missing at least a few notes like normal, which meant I just needed to keep practicing so I could get those notes.

I saw Arnold come in with only his towel around him and I don’t think I’ve ever blushed so hard ever. Not to mention that he was shirtless as well.

“A-Arnold!” I yelled, looking away as my face continued to feel more warm.

At that point he looked confused. I loved him so much, but for once he really needed to get dressed. I didn’t care if he was shirtless, I’ve just never seen the lower side of his body before, and I felt too overwhelmed to look right now.

He chuckled nervously before apologizing real quick. He grabbed some of his favorite pajama pants and just slipped on my hoodie. At this point I didn’t mind him wearing any of my hoodies except my special Metallica one. He was gonna have to ask to wear that one before-hand.

Just then, the song Cigaro came on, and I knew it was time to get started again. That song was like heaven to me, and it was one of my personal favorite songs not just from the album, but in general.

As I was playing, Arnold sat on the bed watching me. I could see the look of love in his eyes, he loved the fact that I could play guitar. And believe it or not, he knows how to play too. His dad’s been teaching him since he first came home after a decade.

He can play a lot of the songs I listen to, but not all of them yet. I’m kind of teaching him the ropes of it, especially System since it requires a lot of the wrist. I mean all of it does when it comes to guitar playing, but there’s sixteenth notes in there that have a fast tempo, and some people need to have a fast wrist that can play those notes.

One thing I’ve also been getting better at is singing while playing. It’s kind of a challenge because you're playing an instrument while trying to match the lyrics up at the same time. But I sing to myself a lot while air guitaring and it’s become easier over these months.

Cool, in denial

We're the cruel regulators smoking cigaro, cigaro, cigar

Cool, in denial

We're the cruel regulators smoking cigaro, cigaro, cigar

I finally finished the song after another minute and a half and Arnold just looked so love-dazed, it was super cute. Normally I would look like that if Arnold was playing the guitar instead, but I guess he just fell harder.

“What?” I asked him with a warm smile.

“Nothing, you just look nice playing your guitar.” He said with a warm smile as well.

“That’s nothing compared to how cute you look in my hoodie.” I told him as I packed up my guitar.

The look on his face started getting more sad, and unfortunately I knew why. He didn’t like the face that I was going to see my dad after what he did to me. I’ve told him that we’re fine now, but he doesn’t believe it 100%, and if I’m being honest, I don’t believe it 100% either. But I wanna see if we really are fine now or not. And if we act like we used, then that means we’re back to normal. I mean, we acted like we normally would on the phone, but that doesn’t really prove anything.

Arnold knows I’m missing three days of school for this too. And he knows how much school I’ve been missing, and he’s just worried that if I miss too much I’ll get held back. I’ve reassured him that I’ve been catching up on my work, and that I’ve already got the work for the next three days that I can start working on when I get back.

“Hey,” I told him in a calming tone, walking over to sit next to him on the bed. “This is only gonna be for four full days. If anything goes on between my dad and I, I’ll be sure to let Olga know that I’m ready to go home, and I’ll be sure to tell you what happened. But right now, it’s just a trip to visit my dad. Okay?” I gave him a reassuring smile, placing one of my hands on his thigh.

He placed his hand where mine was, giving me a bit of a smile, but not fully. “You promise to tell me if something happens?” He asked.

“I swear on your soul.” I told him.

His smile grew a bit more, then he leaned in slowly and kissed me. It was one of the most softest kisses he’s ever given me. I felt so in love with this boy more than I ever have before. Well, not really, considering we’ve gone further than just kissing, but I was still in love sick mode like he was before.

When he broke apart from my lips, my eyes had hearts in them, as my actual heart was beating rapidly. I wanted more kisses, but I had to control myself before I did anything that would make us start French kissing.

“Oh, my love. You’re such an amazing kisser.” I said, as if I was reciting one of my poems.

He chuckled towards me, but what I didn’t expect him to do was hug me to the point where he pushed me to lay down on the bed. His chin was resting on my chest while his elbows were resting on the mattress. Hands both placed on my cheeks as his thumbs were caressing them. And once again, he had that same look of love plastered on his face.

“Well you just want me to stay here don’t you?” I smirked at him.

“Maybe.” He then leaned in and kissed me again. He’s been really clingy lately like I’ve mentioned before. I liked it, but it wasn’t exactly him.

“Well don’t worry, Arnoldo. I’ll be home Monday.”

“Fantastic.” He said sarcastically. “But there is one question I had in mind. Are you going to sleep before you leave, or stay up?”

“I’m staying up and leaving around 2. If I need to, I'll just drink a monster to keep me awake. Hopefully I won’t have to though. I wanna sleep on the plane some.”

“Well, what do you say to help the time pass by a bit we-”

He didn’t need to finish that sentence for me to know what he was talking about. I leaned in and immediately started French kissing him. Forget about what I said being in control, I was in control half the time when it came to doing this kind of thing with him.

1:35am

The airport was about 20 minutes away, so we had to get going in a few minutes. But since Arnold fell asleep around 11:30, it left me to play my guitar for the rest of the time while I waited. We made out for a good 3 hours, and even went as far as we did before once again. Afterward we watched a movie and surprisingly I didn’t fall asleep while watching it.

But it was so cute when Arnold fell asleep though. When we were about half way through it, he tightened his grip around me and nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. I swear to god that boy was so fucking adorable, I just couldn’t help but swoon over him. I’d felt like my 9 year old self again.

I saw the time was 1:35, and I knew I had to pack up my guitar and kiss Arnold goodbye. Once I set my guitar in its case, I put it by the door and walked over to my beloved. I shook him lightly so as not to jumpscare him.

“Mmm, Helga?”

“Hey, Arnold.” I smiled warmly. He was so sleepy that I couldn’t help but flush a bit. “I’m about to get going so I wanted to say bye to you.”

He sat up to where he let his legs dangle and then hugged me, laying his head on my chest with his eyes closed, mainly because he was sleepy. I hugged him back, letting my head rest on his. This was the first time in a while that I was taking an actual vacation and leaving Arnold. And I’m not saying this was going to be difficult, I’m just going to miss him a lot. Which is why I’m taking a couple of his hoodies.

It was then that a faint knock on the door, and as I was about to let go of Arnold, the door had already opened to see that it was Olga.

“Hey baby sister. It’s about time to go, I’ll take these bags for you while you finish saying goodbye to sweet Arnold.” She smiled at me as she took my suitcase and guitar case.

For once I’m glad she took my stuff for me, because I really wanted this one long hug from Arnold before I had to go.

“Have fun,” he said between a huge yawn, “and be careful. Los Angeles is huge. So don’t get lost, or be stupid.”

“I’ll be sure to do those things, Arnoldo. I’ll call you once we get to my dad’s house.” I leaned in and kissed him one last time before I had to go.

“I love you, Helga.”

I had no idea why that made my heart skip a beat. Maybe because we didn’t say it as often as we normally should. But it really made my eyes sparkle in the moonlight, and my face feel warm. And it also made me kiss that beloved Football Head of mine one last time.

I still had my hands on his cheeks with a warm smile on my face when I told him, “I love you too, Arnold. So much.” That’s when I also saw the blush on his cheeks. And I would kiss him more if I could, but I knew I had to go.

I grabbed my MP3 player along with my headphones and put them in my ears. As I was walking out the door I looked back at him, telling him, “See you Monday, Football Head.” He then smiled warmly and waved goodbye to me, then got comfy and went back to bed. I was definitely gonna miss him, but I was also really excited to see the city of Los Angeles.

I got downstairs and went to the car with Olga and Miriam. She knew we were going to see dad, and she would have to take the car back here. Washington state says you can’t drive between 1am to 5am unless you’re in the car with someone 25 years old or older, and of course my mom’s in her 50’s, so yeah I’m driving us to the airport pretty much.

But this was it though, we were finally gonna see dad again.

2:01am. Seattle-Tacoma International Airport.

I was starting to get really tired, but I had to stay up at least till after 4, we would be boarding in at least an hour and a half. But first we had to check in with security and show them our tickets, and also wait till they called us to come on board.

Worst part about that is that you never know how long that’s actually going to be.

We put our bags where security could check them, and they even opened up my guitar case to make sure I didn’t have any illegal substances in there. What the hell else could I possibly fit in that case of mine? But I even had to take off my headphones and put my MP3 player in my bag just so I could walk through the security thing. I mean it’s kind of understandable but what’s wrong with an MP3 player?

Anyway, right now I was just wearing a black hoodie of Arnold's, with baggy jeans and my Nikes, oh and a black beanie. It felt like a beanie kind of day, plus it was freezing outside. But it wouldn’t be as cold in California as it was here.

Since I was really tired I was trying my hardest not to be rude to anyone there. I get really grumpy when it comes between people pissing me off and when I’m just really tired. And right now, people were starting to piss me off for no reason. Whenever someone tried to talk to me, I would just walk away and roll my eyes.

I was also in no mood to talk, and there were creeps around everywhere in the airport. So when I tell you that when Old told me, “I’m going to use the ladies room really quickly,” I did not feel safe at all. But I didn’t panic either, I just listened to Christ Illusion by Slayer while I read my book.

Olga did come back after a few minutes, and I was very relieved. But after about 20 minutes of waiting, this one guy came up and started randomly talking to us.

“I’ve read that book before. It’s really good.” The guy said. I just nodded my head. Not being in the mood to talk. Olga looked at the guy weirdly, immediately having a bad feeling about him, and I noticed she put her hand into a fist.

“Isn’t that the third book of the series?” He asked, and even though I had my music in, I had it turned down low enough to where I could still hear people in case they called for us. So to answer his question, I just nodded yes.

“I very much like the outfit you’re wearing too. And you have such beautiful eyes, young lady.” I looked at him weirdly, then looked to the right, and looked back down at my book. Then he started looking at me weird.

“Not much of a talker, huh? That’s okay,” he started walking closer to me, and I could feel Olga put her right arm around my waist, pulling me a little closer. I hardly even felt she did that, to be honest. I was pretty invested in the book I was reading. “I’m more of a listener myself.”

I widened my eyes as I lifted my eyebrows up and just nodded.

I was glad that Olga was keeping her eyes on this weirdo, because just like Oskar would do, this guy literally started caressing my hair like he was my boyfriend. When I tell you that I jumped back into Olga, freaking out, I literally did. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so angry before, nor protective. She stood up quickly and told off that guy.

“Alright sir, you’ve had enough interaction with my sister. Goodbye now!” She grabbed the hood of his hoodie and dragged him at least 10 feet away from us. I was still freaked out and confused by the fact that people want to keep touching my hair for no reason.

“Oh come on, I was just trying to talk to the nice girl.” The guy told her.

“Do you think I’m an idiot, sir? I saw you touch her hair like it was an okay thing to do! Now stay away from us, please! Goodnight!” She walked off, pissed off at him. Well, at least she was polite.

She sat back down next to me and put her hands over her face, resting her elbows on her thighs. I paused my music and looked over at her. “Olga? Are you okay?”

She looked at me in a more worried look than ever before. “I should be asking you that.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay.” I told her softly.

She then hugged me tightly, making sure I was really okay. My safety was probably one of the most important things to her, and I understood why.

“I’m okay as well, baby sister.”

6:49am. Los Angeles International Airport.

We finally got on board around 4:15 and the plane left around 4:30. Olga let me have the window seat, which was really nice of her since I wanted the window seat anyway.

I had my headphones on while listening to all five System of a Down albums on the way there because they’re just that good of a band. But I finally got a couple hours of sleep on the plane too.

So when I woke up, my neck felt so awful.

Apparently I slept in the same position the entire time, and my neck was in a bad place where it might not heal for a couple days. Great. What’s worse was that I also woke up with a headache because of how loud my music was once I woke up. So I know never to do that again.

I placed my beanie back on and Arnold’s hoodie as well, gathering my bags and following Olga out the door. I had lines under my eyes from how tired I still was. I was also just pissed off that morning too. I mean I only got two hours of sleep for christ’s sake. Practically a nap if you ask me.

We finally got off the plane, and that’s when I saw him. Tall, gray hair, big as ever, and always has his stupid arms crossed, and looking angry for no reason. Once Olga laid his eyes on him, she dropped her bags on the floor, leaving me to carry them over, and ran off to hug the one and only Big Bob Pataki.

“Daddy!” Olga yelled, which embarrassed me because I told her not to call him that in public anymore for many reasons.

“Hey Olga! Good to see you!” He told her as he embraced her.

“What’s up, dad?” My first words after 4 hours of not talking.

“Oh, hey Helga. How’s life been treating you?”

“Not too shabby. Some creep tried to get with me in the Seattle airport earlier.”

“What!? Why I oughta- if I ever see him and if he does that to you again, I wouldn’t mind picking a fight with that guy!”

Okay, now I was surprised. He was defending me? “You would?”

“Hell yeah I would! No one messes with my 13 year old daughter like that!”

I couldn’t help but put a slight smile on my face. Knowing that my dad cared that much for someone not to mess with me sexually. “I’m 15, dad.” I smirked, knowing how he is with me normally.

“Yeah whatever. Let’s get to my house. I can show your girls your rooms and I’ll make steak and eggs for breakfast.” He told us.

At this point on, I knew this would definitely be a great vacation.

Chapter Text

Thursday, January 18th, 2007.

7:29am, Bob’s house.

Day 1 of vacation. I could smell how good those steak and eggs were, and I was so ready to chow down on them. One thing dad had gotten good at after I turned 11 was cooking. He cooked for us the last few years while mom had her old job to keep her busy. It was like a normal family. Which I didn’t really care for at this point. I had Arnold, and other people who I care for just a bit more.

But man I gotta say, I love dad right now for making that breakfast smell so dang good.

I was in one of the guest rooms practicing my guitar. I was listening to Lamb of God even though I had a headache. At that point I just decided to power my way through it. I’ll ask for something to help with it later. Right now I was really into this guitar solo to even care about anything else.

“Helga, breakfast is-”

Olga had walked in and saw me practicing. She seemed really impressed how fast my reflexes were for playing the guitar when I was playing that one song One Gun by Lamb of God. Now the only songs I really have trouble playing are by Van Halen. He’s one of the best guitar players ever, and his songs are pretty amazing. And his guitar playing is absolutely phenomenal.

But Olga seemed really impressed by the way I was absolutely killing that guitar solo. And once I got done with playing after another minute passed by, I took off my headphones, asking her to repeat herself since I didn’t hear a word she said.

“Wow, Helga. I didn’t know you could play so well.” Keep in mind that this was the first time I’ve actually seen Olga impressed with me.

“Yeah, I play it almost all the time when I get the chance.” I told her as I put my guitar away in the case. “You don’t hear me play in my and Arnold’s bedroom?”

“Sometimes, but I’ve never actually seen you play in person before.” She admitted. I can kind of see what she seemed impressed with me, because I’ve never seen her even touch a guitar before, only the piano.

“Huh. But did you wanna tell me something?”

“Uh, that breakfast was ready.”

“Oh great, I’m starving.” I told her as I ran past her and out of my room. Olga took a look one last time at my guitar case before walking out of the room and joining dad and I for breakfast.

She sat down next to me as dad and I were chowing down on our breakfast. I really don’t think she knew how well I actually was at the guitar because she still looked impressed with me. It was really weird to see her like this, but I’m kind of happy that I’m better at something else than she is, not gonna lie.

“So how’s breakfast, girls?” He asked us.

“So good. One food you can definitely make delicious, dad.”

“Yeah, thanks, Helga. And what about you, Olga? Enjoying breakfast?”

“Yeah, daddy. I agree with Helga, it’s very tasty.”

“GOOD!” He shouted, which made both of us jump. We both agreed that Bob has such a demanding voice that it would be easy to scare little kids if he really wanted to do that.

“Well, girls. I was thinking maybe I’ll go ahead and show you around Los Angeles since I don’t have to be at work until 12 today. I told my boss that you guys were coming to town and he said that I could take some time off to spend time with you two if I wanted to. So after you finish, get yourselves ready, and Helga? You have your permit, right?”

Oh my god, he remembered? “Yeah?”

“I’m gonna let you drive around some.” He told me proudly.

“Uh, dad? Are you sure that’s a good idea? Los Angeles is huge, plus I’ve never been here before. I mean, I’d love to take you up on that offer, but I think I should actually see the city before I get lost in it.”

“Hm, good point, Olga.”

“Helga, dad.” Having to remind him for the millionth time is such a pain.

“Whatever. I’ll drive, you girls just look.”

Great.

8:28am.

Los Angeles was pretty huge. You had Hollywood, Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, you name it. One place I even forgot about was Disneyland. I should ask Olga and Dad if they wanna go. Or at least Olga. Either Bob would be working or just doesn’t wanna go. Figures.

It was crazy how many people were up this early. I mean, it’s California. That’s understandable, but man it’s just a bustle of people. I think I would get major claustrophobia if I was in a huge crowd of people like that. It’s like being in a small concert, but it was really people just in line in a Starbucks to get coffee.

I don’t know if I would get in that long line just for coffee. That’s what living in Hillwood is for. But this also makes me glad that I’m not driving in this crowded city too. I don’t think I could ever drive in a city like this.

“Never go to that Starbucks over there, girls. It’s always crowded, no matter what time it is.” He told us.

“What time does it close?” I asked curiously.

“That’s the thing. It doesn’t close. It’s a 24 hour coffee shop.”

“Well, shi-”

The light was green as we just sat there for a good few seconds as all three of our heads were turned to the Starbucks. And the only reason we all knew that was because someone honked really loudly at us. Well, so far, some people here were not friendly.

What I didn’t expect my dad to do was flip off the guy when he was literally tailgating us because he was pissed off.

“Daddy! Why did you flip him off?”

“Because that guy doesn’t know what he’s doing!”

And I thought he couldn’t get more stupid. “For your information, Bob, he honked because we were staring at a stupid Starbucks at a green light and just sitting there!”

“Hey, hey hey! Don’t tell me whether I’m right or wrong! I know what I’m talking about, young lady! So don’t yell at the driver!” Why did I say this would be a good vacation?

I just thought that maybe I could try and reconnect with my dad. Actually see how his job here in LA is going, but no. He wants to be hard headed and stubborn like always. I’m giving him a second chance for a reason: because I’m getting a step dad in 11 months. I wanted to see how dad was because if he and I got along better maybe I could come visit him once every two months for a weekend or something. Or in the summer for an actual week. But this is only day one. We’ll see how he does.

“Fine, whatever.” I finally replied to him.

“Now you’ll see that there’s a Five Guys to your left right over there, then there’s a Whole Foods market, and right over there is a Walgreens, and over there on the left is the Los Angeles Central Library.”

“Los Angeles Central Library?” Now this piqued my interest. I’ve been wanting to see a local library for quite some time now, since I’ve gotten more into reading that is.

“Yep. But you probably don’t care about that stuff.”

“Oh that’s where you're wrong, daddy. Helga’s been fascinated in reading for a couple years now. Right, baby sister?” Olga looked at me when she asked me, and gave me a soft smile. I couldn’t help but smile back at her, knowing that she knew I liked to read.

“Huh, is that so? Well I might have to take you in a couple days or so.” Bob told me, and I couldn’t believe the words that came right out of his mouth.

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Well why not? If Olga tells me you like to read, then I believe her. So I’ll take you on Saturday. How’s that sound?”

At this point I was flabbergasted. Bob Pataki? Taking me to the local library? Next he’ll say we’re going to Disneyland tomorrow. But I was just surprised at all this. One minute he’s pissed off and yelling at me, the next he’s telling me he’ll take me to a place he’ll find the most boring ever.

“Well, yeah. Thanks, dad.” I smiled at him, hoping he’ll see it through the mirror since I was sitting on the left side of the back seat.

“Yeah yeah, no problem.” He said in a kind of a flat tone. But I didn’t really care at that point. I was actually going to a local library on Saturday. I swear I haven’t been this excited for a while.

Friday, January 19th.

Santa Monica Beach.

It’s no Disneyland, but Dad took us to the beach today since he’s off for the whole weekend.

The Pier was absolutely beautiful though. There was a ferris wheel, street performances, a freaking aquarium underneath the pier, shows, and even a whole roller coaster there. Small food courts, places to take pictures, mini shops, you name it! Olga and I practically spent most of the day together. Dad joined us on a few things like photos and even tried out the roller coaster, but he was done after that experience.

After the pier, we went to a pizza place and they had some of the most delicious pizza ever. I forgot what the place was called but man I had to tip them at least $10. It was that good. Afterwards Olga and I went swimming—you wouldn’t believe that it was actually kind of warm there—and even competed in a sand castle competition, reminding me of when Arnold and I did that one time. Olga was pretty good at building the castles, and I added the little details to all of them.

After a few hours passed, Olga and I went back to the pier and got ourselves some ice cream. That’s when I saw the rack of postcards for $1 a piece and decided to buy one. I was gonna write a little something to Arnold and told him that I was missing him very much.

Hey Football Head,

How’s life been back in Hillwood? Hope the boys aren’t causing you any trouble, or they’ll talk to ol’ Betsy when I get home. But seriously though, I hope you’ve been doing good. I’m doing great myself. Dad took us around the city yesterday morning then went off to work, so Olga and I went to a Starbucks (one that wasn’t busy) and went by this cool music shop that was down the street. Then today he took us to Santa Monica Beach. We went to the pier too. I wish you could see it, I’ll have to take you sometime. Anyway, nothing bad has happened so far. So we’re okay. Running out of room, I love you, see you Monday.

Love,

Helga

I wish I could see his expression when he reads this.

“Come on Helga, we’re out of here!” Bob yelled at me.

“Just a second!” I ran over to the nearest mailbox and slipped the postcard inside. I made sure to write down the date and the address just for him so he could get it.

After we got in the car I did not feel like driving back home—I drove us to the beach by the way even after I said I didn’t wanna drive in LA. So I just took Arnold’s hoodie—which I had with me because it was supposed to get cold later tonight—covered it up on me like a blanket, and put in my headphones and listened to the Pantera album Reinventing the Steel.

I could tell that Olga and Bob were talking about something, but I couldn’t hear a word they were saying. Nor did I care one bit. Right now all on my mind was Arnold. Yes I was actually having fun in Los Angeles, but Arnold. My sweet, loveable, clingy boyfriend. It was still hard to believe I was with the love of my life. The only boy I ever fell for, and the only boy I was ever willing to be with. Arnold was everything to me, and I had to believe I was everything to Arnold himself.

“Okay, Olga. I need to talk to you about something.” Bob told her, sounding like he didn’t finish his sentence. “It’s about Helga actually.”

Olga looked back to make sure I didn’t hear, and I did not hear a word. Pantera was blasting in my ears as I thought about my sweet boyfriend.

“She can’t hear us, can she?”

“I don’t think so, daddy. She didn’t look up when you said her name. So what is this about anyway?” she asked curiously.

“Why did she really want to come here, Olga? I need the truth. She says she’s here to see me, but what for? We fight practically half the time.”

“Well you’ve done some things that she would really enjoy too.”

“Yeah but that was when you told me. Not her. I never knew she liked reading fancy shmancy books until yesterday. So, tell me, not just as my oldest daughter, but as an adult. Why does she really wanna see me?”

She swallowed nervously. Was she really going to tell him the truth? Was she just going to blab one of the real reasons I came here? She took a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. Her hands clamped together, nervous for dad getting on edge or just mad at her.

“Well, at the start, we both wanted to come see you because we hadn’t seen you since court last year. We wanted some time with you and to see what Los Angeles was like. But Helga thought of a good second reason why she wanted to see you: She wanted to see how well you two would get along with each other again. If you two actually got along better, and maybe even got closer, she would come visit you once every two months or so. But if you two kept fighting, or even worse, had an argument like you did in Christmas of 2005, then she wouldn’t want to see you anymore. And that would’ve given her a good reason to finally start getting along with mom’s new fiance.”

That made Bob’s eyes go wide. He hadn’t even heard that Miriam met and got together with someone. Now she’s getting married. The thought of her with a different man was hard to believe, especially to Bob, assuming how long they’ve been married for.

“How long until they get married?” Is the first thing Bob said after a couple minutes.

“They get married on December 4th.” Olga replied kind of nervously still.

“They’re getting married on a Tuesday? That’s odd.”

“It’s what her fiancé picked out, not her.”

“What’s her fiancé's name?”

“I don’t think I should tell you that...”

He felt anger, yet jealousy for some reason. They were over, why was he getting so emotional over something that isn’t even his business? He had to win me back, if not, then this was practically his last chance.

He thought long and hard on this question, even though it was short and simple. And even though this is nothing like him at all, suddenly he felt rage bubbling inside him, and this was something he had to do. Or he would lose his youngest daughter forever.

“What was something Helga wanted for Christmas but didn’t get?”

Now Olga was confused, why was he asking her that all of sudden? “The Nintendo Wii. Why?”

“What games did she want with it?”

“Mario Kart and Pokemon Battle Revolution. Daddy, what are you trying to do here?” If I knew she said those two games, only because I’ve been wanting those since the will first came out a couple months ago, I would be flabbergasted at that too.

“We’re gonna stop by Walmart real quick and buy that for Helga.”

“Daddy, you can’t be serious.”

“Olga, I’m not losing your sister to some half-wit marrying your mother.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous that mom’s getting married?”

“I never said anything like that. I just said that I’m not gonna let Helga get used to a new father if she doesn’t want to.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you the reason. You’re getting mad because mom found someone that she’s actually been happy with, and now that she’s getting married, you’re going to try and bribe Helga with gifts and kind words just so she’ll see you more often.”

“Hey, she was the one who practically thought of it, not me. And you were the one who told me what she said.”

“Daddy-”

“Look, Olga. It’s like I said, if she doesn’t wanna get used to this man, then she won’t have to. I’m simply buying her things because this is my other daughter we’re talking about, and it’s time I was a better father with this kind of thing. I guess.”

“Dad, if you’re gonna make Helga move here with you, it’s not going to work.”

“Wha- who said I was making her move here?”

“I know what you’re trying to do, dad! Helga has a great life in Hillwood already. She has her friends, her boyfriend, and still has two and a half years left of high school left. You are not gonna make her move to a huge city she isn’t gonna know and make her leave her whole life behind in Washington.”

“Oh, she’s still dating that Alfred guy?”

“Arnold, daddy. His name’s Arnold.” She corrected him like I would do when dad got my name mixed up.

“Whatever. Anyway, why would I even make Helga do that? I’m not that attached to the girl.”

That was probably one of the worst things he could’ve ever said about me, and I had no idea about it. Key word: ONE. The worst one wasn’t even with words, it was physical violence, and we all know what that one is.

“Just keep driving.” Olga crossed her arms and as she turned her head to look out the window.

“With pleasure.” They then sat in uncomfortable silence until they got to Walmart.

And that’s when I woke up about an hour later to see where we were at. Olga told me not to worry about it, and that’s exactly what I did, and went back to sleep, dreaming of Arnold.

Saturday, January 20th.

9:06am. Los Angeles Central Library.

“Olga, look at this! Did you know that the first Starbucks was found in Seattle in 1971?”

My dad had woken us up early this morning so that we could get ourselves some coffee and head over to the library. He said that’s what lots of people did in the morning in LA. I bought myself a breakfast sandwich with a mocha cookie crumble frappuccino. I know what you’re thinking, That doesn’t sound like Helga. Trust me when I say this: Buy it because it’s so great.

Today was one of the colder days in LA, so I wore a black long sleeve shirt underneath a white Metallica t-shirt I’m very fond of, along with my baggy ripped jeans and my black converse. Oh, and a beige beanie. It was such a vibe for today, because I’m also going to do a little shopping for not only myself, but I’m gonna buy some souvenirs for some people, especially Arnold. I was gonna go by Barnes and Noble as well and buy a few books I saw here in the library that’ll I keep for myself.

“Wait, really?” Olga said as I showed her the page of the book. Some of the history of these cities were actually pretty cool.

“Yeah, it says, Starbucks first opened its doors on March 30th, 1971 at Seattle’s historic Pike Place Market. It was an understated debut–a 1,000-square-foot mercantile space manned by a single employee–but it had plenty of special touches. Honestly that’s kind of cool.”

Olga thought seeing me explain this stuff was interesting to her. Of course we weren’t like those 2-3 year apart siblings where we could just learn in an instinct what we were into. Olga was so busy being perfect for our parents during my childhood that she didn’t know more about me than she thought she did.

There is one weird thing I’ve noticed though. My dad’s been super nice to be ever since we got back from the beach. I have a feeling that when we went into Walmart last night he got something specifically for me, but I can’t be too sure. Because he even offered to get me dinner when we got home, which everyone does, but like ordering something in, and he usually doesn’t do that. With the fact that this morning he said that since tomorrow is Sunday, he’ll make my favorite chocolate pancakes like his mother used to. Something weird’s going on, and I’m going to figure it out.

But not before I finish reading some of the town’s history books. Like I said, some of this stuff is surprisingly interesting.

“So what do you think, Helga? Like what you see?” He tells me in somewhat of a tone that I’m used to, but a slight more cheery.

“Yeah, it’s great. I might buy some of these books when I go shopping later on.” I admitted.

“Oh, you and Olga are going shopping?”

“Yeah? Why? Do I need your permission or something?”

“Oh no. Just have fun. I guess.”

Have fun? Okay now I know something was definitely going on.

“Oh and you too Olga. I guess.” He told us as he walked off to the exit. We knew he’d be leaving us alone later so that way we could explore a little more around LA and go do some shopping for mom and Matthew. Well, that’s Olga’s idea. I’m shopping for Phoebe, Hailey and mostly Arnold.

Once I saw him leave the building, I immediately put my book down and turned my attention towards my sister. “Have you noticed Bob’s been acting weird lately? Like, nicer towards me? It’s so weird.”

“Yeah, and he’s been pissing me off lately too.” She told me in kind of an irritated tone. Which made me confused.

“How come?” For once, I’ve actually become a little concerned for Olga and Dad’s relationship. Normally it was top tier like any assignment Olga completed or my guitar skills, but now it did seem like it was going downhill ever since we got here.

“Because he’s been telling me things that just don’t sit right with me. Things I wish I could tell you, but just aren’t the best time right now.” She shut her book, laid her head on her crossed arms and let out an irritated sigh.

I honestly didn’t know what to do. Should I comfort her? If so with words or with sisterly love? If that even was a thing...Either way I needed to say something, I did not want to sit in uncomfortable silence.

“Look, have you tried talking to Dad about the situation?”

“Yes and he won’t listen to me! It’s so typical of him to do that, I mean you know what it’s like.”

“Well criminy you could say I’ve got loads of experience. Look, if he’s not listening, make him listen. Whether he just walks right out of the room or tries to lock himself somewhere where you can’t get in. Don’t mind what he does, just talk until he talks back. He’ll yell, he’ll curse, but none of that matters. Whatever you have to say to him that you’ve already told him, he’ll talk back eventually.”

She lifted her head up and met her eyes with mine. “How do you know that’ll actually work?”

“Trust me, it works between me and him every time. I’ve had the experience for 12 years.” I leaned in closer and laid my chin on my arms, speaking a little quieter. “You get him to actually talk back, it'll be a miracle.”

Olga thought about it for a good minute, and realized how right I was about this. She just needed to get Bob to talk, even though she knew the entire situation already. But if she could just get him to admit everything she really knew about, then that’s that.

“You make some good points, baby sister.” She said with a smirk.

“Why thank you. Do you think we can shop now? I’m kind of done looking at old things in books.” I asked her.

She chuckled and told me, “Let’s get going.”

After we left the library, I finished my coffee and my sandwich. Side note, I hardly ate for the rest of the day other than small snacks because I didn’t feel like eating for some reason.

The first half of the time we went to where my sister wanted to go. Which was Ulta, Kohl’s, Bath and Body Works, Brighton Collectibles, and J.C. Penny’s. I was bored as hell, but then Olga took me to Coldstone which wasn’t too bad. Their ice cream is always so good. But afterwards we went to stores that we both liked like Target, Dick’s Sporting Goods, and Walmart. And finally, Olga took me to my favorite kinds of stores like Hot Topic, Gamestop, Plan9, Barnes and Noble, and RadioShack.

From Hot Topic I bought a few T-shirts I liked, some earrings, a couple bracelets, and this really cool mini black star swivel bag. The design is really cute. From Gamestop, I got Arnold and I like 10 packs of Pokemon cards, and the guy gave me a discount on them so that was really cool of him. Plan9 I got Ashes of the Wake album by Lamb of God, Christ Illusion by Slayer, Diary of a Madman by Ozzy, and Hypnotize by System. Barnes and Noble I just bought a couple novels and that one historic book I read in the Library. And Radioshack I kind of just browsed around in there, everything was too expensive.

Now from Target and Walmart I got Arnold a couple of t-shirts, a new hoodie, and later today I was gonna get him and Hailey some stuff from Hollywood. I wanted to get a few small souvenirs for the two since they both asked me to get something for them in Hollywood. Of course I’m going to get them something, why wouldn’t I? This is my future step-sister and boyfriend we’re talking about.

We went by Beverly Hills and took a walk for about an hour and a half and just looked around as I took pictures on my new polaroid camera I got at Target. This thing actually took some good photos, and some of the pictures turned out really amazing. I even got a few pictures with Olga and I. I couldn’t wait to show Arnold when I got home.

It wasn’t until I got home when I saw Bob standing on the front porch that I was very confused. Because why would he be waiting for us by standing on the porch? Normally he’s sitting in his chair drinking a beer and watching some game live.

“Hey, Olga!” He shouted, and for a minute I thought he actually meant my sister. Until he went and put his arm around me, and my plain expression turned into a disappointed look.

“How many times do I have to tell you this, Bob? It’s Helga.” I told him in an agitated tone.

“Whatever. Come inside, I got you something.”

He got me something? Am I sure he’s talking to the right daughter? We all know he gets Olga the gifts, did he mean that towards her instead?

I walked inside and saw the present in the middle of the room. It was a pretty good sized present, not too small nor too big. But something a young kid would love to open up on Christmas morning. Something about Christmas I’ve also always wanted was a white Christmas. Now that would be a miracle.

“Well, don’t just stand there. Open it up!” He yelled.

I walked over and sat crisscrossed, pulling the present closer towards me. It felt heavy, but the good kind of heavy. I unwrapped one part of it and knew exactly what it was. I gasped when I saw the letter “W” on the white and blue box. The font looked so familiar as well, and I could already tell what I got.

“You didn’t.” I said in a shocked tone.

He pointed towards the present, telling me to keep unwrapping.

I took both hands at that point and started unwrapping the red wrapping paper as fast as I could. This moment felt exhilarating, exactly how it would feel as if Arnold and I were French kissing in our room. But this was definitely a different kind of exhilaration. I also felt excited because I knew what I was getting the moment I saw that W. My heart was racing, my smile never went away, I didn’t know what else I was even feeling right now. It was just an exciting moment.

“I can’t believe this! You got me the Nintendo Wii!” I yelled, my smile still not fading away.

“Merry late Christmas, Helga.” The best part about that sentence was how he got my name right.

“Thanks, dad!” He didn’t say anything before he got another present from around the corner. It was smaller, and it felt lighter, but I was always curious about what the present could be.

When I opened this one, I got a few Wii controllers and two games that I’ve wanted since I found out about the Wii: Mario Kart and Pokemon Battle Revolution.

“Dad you really shouldn’t have-”

“Save the speech, girl.” He called me girl like he didn’t know my name. “I wanted to get you that because you wanted it for Christmas, but didn’t get one. So I got you that and the games you wanted, so there you go.”

And that's what got me curious. "Wait, how did you know I wanted these anyway?”

“Oh, a little birdie told me.” Of course he’d say that.

“Whatever you say. But thanks, dad.”

“Don’t sweat it, kid.” And that’s when I also saw that when Olga was sitting in the recliner, she was giving him a look that pretty much said, “What the hell, dad?” But I had no idea why, and I wasn’t exactly not concerned about that either. What the heck is going on?

Saturday, January 21st.

6:24pm. The dining room.

My dad took us to Five Guys because I was in the mood for a cheeseburger and fries. He said yes to the suggestion, and I’m seriously weirded out by what’s happening in our relationship right.

Olga seemed like she had better days, considering I haven’t seen her and Bob have an actual conversation since Friday. She’s been giving him weird stares like a “fuck you” kind of stare. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her pissed off at Bob before.

Anyway, I did end up getting that cheeseburger, with their fries–which are so freaking good. And I ended up getting an Oreo milkshake from Sonic because I wanted a milkshake badly, and all the flavors Five Guys had at that moment was Strawberry. Olga offered to pay for it for me, which was nice of her to do since dad bought my food. I told both of them I could pay for these things for myself, but they insisted.

We got home and I flopped on the couch holding Arnold’s hoodie—which didn’t smell much like Arnold anymore—and holding my locket, with the picture of both of us inside, in front of me. I definitely missed him, like a lot. And as much as I enjoyed LA, I was ready to get back home and hug my beloved.

“So, girly,” Bob said once he walked in the room. It’s like he didn’t know my name anymore. I wouldn’t blame him; he’s messed it up my whole life that I’m not even surprised by it. “How’d you like the food?” He asked me curiously.

“It was pretty good! Sucks about the milkshake though. I wouldn’t have let Olga buy that if she hadn’t insisted. But it is what it is, I guess.” I told him.

“Yeah, I would’ve bought for you anyway if she hadn’t insisted. But forget about that. I wanna talk to you about something.”

He sounded serious about this. So I put my locket where I normally put it, and sat up from the couch and faced him. “Sure. What’s up, dad?”

He cleared his throat, swallowing spit right after, almost like he was nervous. “So, while you and Olga went shopping all day yesterday, I went by the Metropolitan Courthouse.”

What?

He continued, “I went inside and asked Judge Thomas D. a few questions on a certain topic I’ve been thinking about for a short while now. I’ve signed some papers, confirmed some of my information to him, and it finally came to an official agreement.” I didn’t even see when Olga was peeking through the stairway rail.

“Dad, where are you going with this?” My heart started beating a little faster, I was nervous about what he was gonna tell me for some reason. What the heck was he trying to say? Was this a good thing or a bad thing?

“Helga, I got permission for you to move down here with me!”

At this point, this was a bad thing.

My eyes widened, and not in a good way. I was not expecting him to tell me something like this. If he thinks I’m gonna move here with him there is no way I was gonna do that.

“What?” was all I could say because I was too shocked to even process fully on what he said.

“You’re gonna come live with me in LA! What do you think of that?”

“Dad...no.”

He chuckled at him. “What?”

“No, dad. I’m not moving here to LA.”

“Well you don’t really have a choice. So starting in a couple weeks we’ll get your stuff from Alfred’s place and-”

“Dad, I said no. I have a life in Hillwood already.”

“Don’t test me young lady. We’re getting your stuff and you’re moving here. That’s final.”

“Dad, you can’t just make me move to LA. What about school and my friends? What about Arnold?” I couldn’t believe I actually had the courage to ask that. That’s what started the other fight in the first place.

“What about your friends? You’ll make new ones here. And we’ll just transfer you into a new high school. And you can either go long distance or just find yourself a new boyfriend for all I care.”

I could not believe the words coming out of his mouth right now.

“Are you serious? I am not moving to LA, dad! Like I said, I have a life in Hillwood with great friends, great neighbors, and an amazing boyfriend. There is no way you’re going to tear me apart from all the good things in my life!”

“What the hell was good about Hillwood? I genuinely want to know. Because when I lived up there, there wasn’t anything good to enjoy in the shit-hole town.”

“Well you may not have enjoyed it, but my life is as good as it can be. With Arnold I can actually enjoy-”

“Arnold, Arnold, Arnold. It’s all about that fucking bitch, isn’t it!?”

“DO NOT CALL HIM THAT!” If you can’t tell, he’s really pushing my buttons right about now.

“That kid is as annoying as he can be. Always looking on the bright side and having a positive attitude and saving all that old shit that goes on up there.”

“THAT’S WHO HE IS. HE’S A KIND HEARTED SOUL WITH ACTUAL FEELINGS. UNLIKE YOU.” At that point, I knew I made a mistake saying that.

“What the FUCK do you mean unlike me!? I gave you things you actually wanted, I drove you places you wanted to go! I LET YOU DRIVE MY FUCKING CAR!”

This felt so much like 13 months ago. Dad was shouting at me about getting Arnold’s gifts before I got him any, then he slapped the shirt out of me. Then he slapped the shit out of mom. I hated that day more than anything in the world.

I stood there silently to see if he'd say anything else. And when he doesn’t, I dared myself to ask the question, “Why were you being nice to me this entire time? You usually do that with Olga, not me.”

He stayed silent for a moment, his hands clenched into fists. I could see the anger bubbling up inside him. I could feel my anger about to burst inside me if he didn’t answer my question soon.

“Because when I heard your mother was getting married, I didn’t want you to get used to some half-wit step-father.”

I gave no emotion or face expression to him. I was surprised, yes, but I was also really pissed off at him. I didn’t really wanna say another word until he explained more about why he actually did what he did. But he didn’t, so I guess I was gonna have to be the one talking first. As always.

“How in the hell did you hear about mom getting married?”

“Your sister told me. I forced her to tell me.”

Of course she did.

“Well bribing me with words and gifts isn’t gonna make me move down here.”

“Oh I’m not bribing you, you’re gonna do what I say. And I say you’re moving down here with me permanently.”

“She’s not gonna do that daddy.”

Suddenly, Olga came out from the corner of the room and finally did what I’ve always wanted to see her do: Stand up to our old man.

“What the fuck do you mean she’s not gonna do that? We’ve already had this conversation, Olga. She’s gonna live with me no matter what.”

“I said... no.”

I couldn’t help but smile slightly with small tears in my eyes from all the anger inside me, but also smirk since my sister was actually standing up to Bob Pataki.

“Helga and I are going home tomorrow. I don’t care what you say, you are not making her live down here if she doesn’t want to.”

Then he all of a sudden grabs my arm and starts dragging me towards him and away from my sister. “The girl is gonna live here, Olga! You do not get to decide!”

And at that point, I just couldn’t hold in my anger anymore. “GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, OLD MAN!” He turned to me aggressively, and it looked like he was about to slap me again like he did 13 months ago.

“Did I hear what I think I just heard?”

“Listen here, Old Man?” It was now his nickname just because I was being a straight up bitch. “I don’t give a shit if I’m not an adult yet! I’m almost 16, and last time I checked this was a free country. So I think I have a right to make my own FUCKING DECISIONS!”

“Call me old man one more time. I dare you.” He told me in a calm tone. Olga interlocked her own hands and prayed for me not to call him that. I couldn’t help it though. I was in more anger than I had been since those 13 months ago. And no, I will never let that go.

I crossed my arms, now having lines under my eyes. He grabbed me without his permission, he called my boyfriend a bitch, and he’s forcing me to live with him. You know I have to…

“Old Man.”

And that’s how I got slapped in the face a second time by my (now) abusive father.

I stood there like an idiot. My eyes were scrunched up, along with having tears in them from not only the anger built up inside me, but how badly my cheek hurts from the slap in the face he gave to me. My arms were still crossed, my heart was beating like crazy. I felt like shouting, screaming, kicking him you know where. But all I could do there was stand there.

“DAD CUT THE CRAP OUT!” Olga yelled.

“DO YOU WANT A SLAP TO? BECAUSE I CAN SURE GIVE YOU ONE!” He yelled back.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU! YOU ARE TRULY A BAD FATHER!”

I looked up at Olga and even I was shocked to hear that come out of her mouth. She loved dad so much, but at that point, I realized that she must’ve cared more about my safety more than anything right now. She then took my hand and we went to the guest room upstairs.

Once we got upstairs, she walked inside the room, but I all of a sudden started to feel dizzy. So I leaned against the doorway because my vision was starting to go blurry as well. I started panting, not knowing what the hell was going on, until I remembered reading one of the books at the library, saying that a traumatic memory could make some lose consciousness. And boy was I having a traumatic memory.

My vision was almost completely blurry. All I could remember was Olga yelling my name and rushing towards me before I passed out on the floor.

Monday, January 22nd.

4:36am. Los Angeles International Airport.

Let me start off by saying that Olga wanted to get out of the house as quickly as possible.

Last night when I was passed out on the bed with the fan turned on as high as possible—because I was really hot when I passed out, and it wasn’t any kind of fever either—she booked the tickets back to Seattle and called mom that we’ll be flying out around 5am. So now it was only about 15 minutes until we could get on the plane.

Olga tried to offer any kind of snack to me last night, but I wasn’t really hungry after eating Five Guys. But she did get me cold water, which was sweet of her. I started feeling better about an hour after I passed out, and I just kind of slept in her room with her because I didn’t feel like getting out of bed.

She got up early this morning, sometime around 3:30, and packed all of her stuff, and mine, and put it in the trunk. She even grabbed Arnold’s hoodie for me and put it next to me while I was sleeping.

I was wearing Arnold’s hoodie actually, along with a pair of pajama pants and my converse. I had my headphones in, listening to Van Halen II, but not very loudly like normal because I woke up with the biggest headache, like I had just come back from the bar last night and had a really bad hangover the next morning. But I laid my head on Olga’s shoulder and just fell back asleep like it was nothing. She didn’t seem to mind.

We got on the plane and I was just in my own little world of music, nothing was bothering me at that point, except my headache. But once I sat down on the plane seat, I passed out without saying a word beforehand. I felt so relaxed at that point. But when I get home, I’m going to lay in bed with Arnold and just fucking sleep.

7:02am. Seattle-Tacoma International Airport.

Mom was there waiting for us 10 minutes before we got off the plane. Olga said I didn’t have to help pack the trunk because she knew what I was going through at the moment. So I just stood for one minute, and the next minute I was in the back seat falling asleep.

“How come you didn’t make Helga do anything?” Miriam asked curiously.

Olga explained the whole thing in great detail. About how dad was acting weird towards me and giving me gifts and saying nice things out of nowhere, how we had another fight like we did that 13 months ago, how he slapped me, how I passed out. All that stuff. Mom was more freaked out than ever. And Olga also explained how neither of us never wanted to see dad again. Ever.

They talked about what Olga and I did the rest of the way home, and I just felt like I was in so much pain. Physically and mentally. My stomach was hurting from the Five Guys I ate and how I felt like I just got punched in the gut by my own father. I felt like I was gonna bawl out tears from all the anger that was still built up in me. I wanted to punch a wall, or just someone in general. I wanted to put my dad in jail for physically abusing me.

But all I really wanted was to see Arnold again.

Mom pulled in the driveway and I thought I’d never actually see this place again. I was just happy to be back in Hillwood. See my friends, my weird neighbors, and my amazing boyfriend. Her and Olga grabbed most of everything from the trunk, though Miriam did tell me to at least grab my guitar and my own bag. Fair enough.

I went upstairs feeling like I was going to pass out again. But once I opened that bedroom door, it felt—and smelt-like I was in heaven. All of mine and Arnold’s things in our bedroom. All the pictures of us and our friends, his family, and my mom, sister and me. I had to remind myself to take down any pictures with my dad in it. I didn’t want to see his face anywhere again.

I set my stuff down near Arnold’s computer desk, and when I looked over, I saw Him. Peacefully sleeping on His bed, not opening His eyes from the noise I’ve made. Suddenly it’s like all my stress and worry went away as I began to feel lovestruck. My heart was beating when I saw Him for the first time since Thursday. My cheeks were now a bit warm, my smile went soft, as did my eyes, though the lines were still underneath, but it didn’t matter at that point.

I walked over and just looked at Him for a moment. His beautiful football shaped head, His corn flour hair. Just Him. How cute He looked covered in his blanket, wearing my hoodie as well because it was probably freezing outside last night. I then kissed Him on the forehead for about 5 seconds before His eyes started to open slowly.

When He finally processed what was happening around Him, I crouched down to meet His eyes and told Him, “Hey, Arnold,” smiling warmly. He could tell I looked exhausted, but He was so happy to see that I was finally home. He scooted back and opened his arms, and I gladly went in.

For once, I laid my head on His chest because that’s just what I needed right now. I could hear His heartbeat soothingly and it was like music to my ears. I fell asleep in an instant, holding Him tightly. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me that He missed me so much, and I told Him, “Same with me.”

Chapter Text

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007.

6:45pm. The Sunset Arms Boarding House.

The night of Halloween. One of my personal favorite holidays.

Today we got the day off from school to celebrate tomorrow, which is weird how we didn’t get tomorrow off since lots of people are just gonna be out late tonight, especially older kids being out past midnight. But that didn’t stop Arnold, Gerald, Phoebe, Hailey and I from watching scary movies before we took Hailey trick or treating.

In my opinion, I would dress up, but I felt kind of old for trick or treating, and I’ve felt that way since I was 10. But I thought it’d be cool going back out on Halloween night with my soon-to-be step-sister. She wanted to dress as Blackbeard from Pirates and the Caribbean, so we found her the most stuff we could for this amazing costume us four designed for her together. She absolutely loves it.

I also took some of my time off of school to go to Plan9 because Avenged Sevenfold’s newest album came out. It’s literally called Avenged Sevenfold, but it sounds so freaking cool. I bought the CD immediately for a good deal since I go to Plan9 a lot. I could’ve gotten a CD for free because there was a buy 1 get 1 free deal, but I either didn’t see anything I wanted or I had a lot of the same ones already.

While our friends were here, we played on my Wii and played Mario Kart. I kicked everyone’s butts more than 10 times. Gerald came in 1st a few times, same with Arnold, maybe a couple more times than Gerald. But I was really surprised when Phoebe kicked all our butts a couple times, it was so funny though. She kept getting hit with red shells and slipped on banana peels.

Speaking of the Wii, my dad tried to send me over a few games, but Olga is still so pissed off at him since January, that she literally sent them back. I could buy the games myself, thank you very much. Excuse my language, but I was so fucking done with my dub bitch father. I don’t even feel right considering him my own father anymore. But what I did promise myself, was that I would try and talk to Matthew. I don't know how well I’d do, but I kind of promised Hailey I would too. I didn’t have to do it, which I probably wouldn’t do anyway, but you never know.

“And that’s how you do it.” Arnold said, backing away from Hailey. We finally finished her costume and she looked so much like Blackbeard.

I forgot to mention the fact that Hailey is 14 now, and I’m 16. So I’m a junior and let me tell you that junior year sucks. They say it’s supposed to be the hardest year of high school, and man were they right. Then there’s Hailey as a freshman, and freshman year is such an easy year, at least for me. So if Hailey needed help with anything, or if any drama was going on, I told her she could come to me. And that I wanted to meet her boyfriend if she ever got one, half joking of course.

“Dang, Arnoldo. You did good with the clothes.” I complimented him.

“Thanks. They really weren’t that hard to make. Grandma helped me make them with the sewing machine.”

“I thought she would hurt herself with that thing.” Gerald said out loud, and everyone started laughing. We all know how she is, and how she’ll be during Thanksgiving: Burgers and hotdogs, with red white and blue decorations, and fireworks.

“You guys really like it?” Hailey asked us all.

“Are you kidding? It’s such an amazing costume. With Arnold doing the clothes, Gerald designing the shoes, hat and fake beard, and Phoebe and I doing the make-up, we weren’t gonna make this into something horrible. You look great, sis.” I always called her sis even though Miriam and Matthew weren’t married yet. She’s felt like a sister to me since a couple months after I got to know her. I really did love her, and Arnold and I would hurt anyone who hurt her.

She gave a huge warm smile and gave all of us a hug, especially Arnold. Hailey had gotten really attached to him for the past couple months, and I really like that she did. Not like I was going to have another boyfriend to love. Arnold was my one and only, and I just hope he thought the same thing about me.

“Now come on, y’all!” Gerald yelled at us while he stood in front of Arnold’s door. “Are we going trick or treating or what?” I forgot to mention that Arnold and Gerald were dressed as Mario and Luigi from how much Mario Kart they played with me for the past week. They decided at the last minute they wanted to dress as something, until they thought of those two.

All of us started running to the door, until I thought of something. “Uh, wait for me by the front door! I have to get something.”

All of them ran out except Arnold, who walked back to me and told me, “Okay.” Then kissed me on the cheek and started running away. I put my fingers where he kissed, then he yelled, “See ya down there!” He smiled at me, and I couldn’t help but swoon over that sweet boy.

I snapped out of it to look for my camcorder since I didn’t have a phone. But personally, I didn’t want one. I felt like I didn’t need to sit on a screen when I could do so much more in the world like read, go places, and hang out with people in real life. I didn’t ask for one, nor did I want one. But knowing my dad, he would probably try and get me one for my birthday. Olga can just send it back. She’s good like that.

Once I found my camcorder, I rushed downstairs and met up with the rest of the gang. We were now ready to go.

7:07pm.

There were so many kids out right now, even though it was a little past seven. But that didn’t stop them from getting as much candy as they could.

I told everyone I would drive them to another neighborhood if we got done with ours before 10. Going inside before 10 just seemed too early if you ask me. But we did have to drive to Gerald’s place before we started. His little sister, Timberly, wanted to come along with us since his older brother couldn’t take her because he was at a Halloween party. She also wanted to meet Hailey since they’re two years apart from each other, so I thought it’d be kind of nice for them to become friends if they wanted to.

Timberly dressed as a Pokemon for this year. She wasn’t all into it as much as Arnold and I were, but she collected some cards with Gerald, it was kind of nice actually.

Something I do have to admit though, Arnold has a lot more muscle than I thought, and oh my lord he’s so attractive. Hailey likes getting piggy-back rides, and sometimes she has to get one because a couple years ago she broke her knee really badly and ever since then, she can’t walk on it a certain amount of distance. So when she started slowing down, Arnold offered to give her one, and I saw his biceps and criminy there’s so many things I could do to him right now.

It’s been about 45 minutes now and we’ve hit a pretty good amount of houses. Mario and Luigi are over at one while Hailey and Tim were at the one across from them. Phoebe and I just waited on the side of the road waiting for them. We got a chance to catch up on some things since we’ve hardly had time to hang out because of how horrible junior year is.

“You know something, Phoebes? Arnold has gotten more attracted, like have you seen his biceps? My god!”

“Helga? No offense, but I really don’t wanna hear you talk about how big Arnold’s biceps are. Like, imagine how you’d react if I talked Gerald’s.”

She made a good point. I’d probably be disgusted. “Fair enough. But I still can’t believe that Arnold chose me over any other girl. It still makes me wonder why he didn’t choose any of the other girls like Lila or Ruth. I mean, I hate to say that, but it’s what’s on my mind right now.”

“Oh, Helga. You have to understand that Arnold’s had feelings for you for a long time now.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“He’s liked you since the sixth grade. After you guys kissed in the Jungle. He talked about you non stop to Gerald and even me. He asked me one time about whether he should ask you out in seventh grade or not. He’s obsessed with you. Not Lila, not Ruth, not any other girl. He fell for you, Helga. He saw the soft side of you, the kind side, the side where Helga Pataki really loves Arnold. He’s seen you change between seventh and eighth. He fell the hardest he could at the end of middle school. Then you asked him out during summer two years ago, and now here you guys are. You love each other like crazy, you’ve known each other since y’all were 3 years old. Arnold never knew he really wanted to be with you until he realized his own feelings. I know that because we were the first people to know about you guys’ relationship. Arnold rushed to the both of us yelling “Helga and I are official!” And I could see the excitement and love in his eyes. Arnold loves you not only for the type of person you are, but for how far you’ve two have come these past 13 years. He really loves you, Helga.”

I literally almost started crying. That was probably the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard Phoebe tell me, and I couldn’t help but hug her. Everything she said was true, and I had to believe it. Arnold really chose me because of everything Phoebe said, and I couldn’t have felt more happier than ever about that.

When I saw Arnold and Gerald come over to us, I let go of Phoebe and immediately went over to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him softly. He was surprised on account of he wasn’t expecting it whatsoever, but I could feel him kiss me back immediately, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“AWE!” Both Timberly and Hailey yelled. Gerald just sighed and said, “What a lover’s boy.” And Phoebe just smiled at us warmly. She really did know how much we loved each other.

When I broke apart from the kiss, he was still surprised a bit, but I could also see the lovestruck in his eyes on how I kissed him.

I also saw the confusion in his eyes as well, because he also asked me, “What was that for?” and he chuckled right after.

“What? I can’t kiss my own boyfriend?” I asked him with a smirk.

His face started getting a bit red and he even started stuttering. So freaking cute. “N-no! That’s not what I mean!”

I laughed to myself softly. “I’m kidding, Football Head. I just love you so much.” I kissed him on the cheek and walked back over to Phoebe, winking at him before I turned my head back around. He smiled warmly, the blush across his face almost visible. The hearts in his eyes were very obvious, and the way he looked like he wanted to kiss me back was just so cute in a way.

Gerald walked over to Arnold and patted him on the shoulder. “Mmm, mmm, mmm! Oh man, Lover Boy. I don’t know what got into Helga, but I know she’ll have a thing for you for the rest of her life!” Gerald told him.

“You don’t have to tell me twice, Gerald. I’ve got a thing for her, alright. And tonight I’m gonna make it special for the both of us.” He smirked and at that moment Gerald knew exactly what he was talking about. He made a throw up noise and shoved Arnold away from him.

“EW MAN! That is disgusting!” He yelled, and Arnold just started laughing, following behind us.

The four of them hit the rest of the house by 9:15. Once they got done, we got in my mom’s car and headed off to the other neighborhood. The boys, Hailey and Timberly were showing each other how much candy they had all gotten. They even switched for some pieces as the boys kept dropping some on the floor, which got a bit annoying, but you gotta love them.

We headed over to a city called Firdale Village, which was one of the closest ones to Hillwood. It was only a few minutes drive and as easy as we could walk there, I think we all needed a small break from walking just real quick.

In a way, you could say I’m Princess Peach. I had blonde hair, I wore pink at times, and Arnold was literally Mario tonight. Mario was probably madly in love with Peach, or something like that. Arnold was the same way, more than he was before at least. Either way, we were definitely Mario and Princess Peach as a couple.

We got half way done with the other neighbor when it turned 11, and I knew that it was time for everyone to get going. Once I got to Hillwood I dropped off Gerald and Timberly, which she gave a hug to Hailey. It was so sweet. Then I dropped Phoebe at her house and thanked her for what she said to me earlier. Finally we got home and I told Miriam to tell Matthew that Hailey was gonna stay the night here since we got home late.

Hailey was staying with Miriam and Olga because the things that Arnold and I were about to do were not age appropriate for her. And as many times as we’ve done this, it just seems to get better every time.

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007.

6:58pm. The kitchen.

I was wearing Arnold’s long sleeve Metallica shirt along with baggy jeans, a backwards blue navy cap, and was wearing my Nikes earlier until I took them off. Hailey was wearing a black tank top with a beige flannel over it and jeans as well. And Olga was wearing a white buttoned up long sleeve shirt and a plain black vest over it, with gray jeans and black boots that fit for her. And out of the three of us, I was still the biggest tomboy.

We were all sitting around the kitchen table, waiting for Miriam to talk to us. I assume she would probably say something like “The wedding’s next Tuesday,” because it was next Wednesday. Olga and I were not only going to have a step-father, but were finally going to have a step-sister.

Speaking of step-father, I still haven’t spoken once to Matthew. There’s no point, and no need to either. When I decide I actually wanna talk to the man, I’ll do so.

Something I’ve noticed about Hailey is that she seemed to look at Arnold and I a lot when we’re in our little world together. Like, she’ll stare at us being all goofy and shit, and she’ll look sad about it. I wonder if she feels that way because she doesn’t have a partner to do that kind of stuff with, or she’s worried that neither of us will pay attention to her, or what. I really hope she didn’t think like that, I don’t want her thinking like that.

Suddenly, all three of us hear quick footsteps coming in the kitchen, and we knew it was a nervous Miriam making her way in here to probably tell us what she said almost a year ago. She made her way in here like she just ran a marathon. We all looked at her confusingly, but we understood why she was like this.

“Alright girls. As you three know, the wedding’s next Tuesday.” Called it. Exact words too. She continued, “You all remembered what you’re going to be right?”

Yep. Hailey was the flower girl, Olga’s the Maid of Honor, and I was the spontaneous flower girl. Sometime this week Olga was gonna take me dress shopping since mom yelled at us for not doing so yet.

“Great! That’s great! Now you two,” she pointed at Olga and I. “I know you’re going dress shopping, make sure to pick out something nice for next Tuesday. We’re going to make all three of you girls as beautiful as possible. And maybe make Helga’s boyfriend fall in love with her all over again.” She smirked at me, winking. Hailey and Olga started snickering and I’ve never felt embarrassment from my mother ever.

“Mom! Don’t say that!” I yelled, shoving her away from me playfully, until I started laughing along as well. It was nice to be around her now. She’s really improved over these past few years, and we’ve especially gotten closer since the last time I saw Bob. It’s also so weird how we’ve been living here for almost 2 years now. I just can’t believe it. I’ve also been sleeping with Arnold for almost 2 years now, but we’ve been going out for over 2 years. December 10th will be two and a half. Criminy that long already?

She laughed to herself before saying, “Alright. Back to seriousness. I’ve hired some wedding coordinators to help set up where we’re going to be. I’ve hired a baker to make our wedding cake, everything is all going according to plan. They should be starting a few days before the wedding starts.”

If I’m being honest, we were all pretty excited about next week. Big changes were gonna happen. We were gonna have a step-dad, a step-sister. Matthew and Hailey were probably gonna move here. There’s no way I was moving out of the Boarding House now. I’ve kind of been getting attached to it. Living with crazy, yet friendly neighbors, actually living with my boyfriend and getting to be with him almost 24/7. It was amazing.

“So, Miriam?” Hailey started, “Are my dad and I going to be moving here? Or are you three coming to live with us in our house?” And there's the big question. If Miriam says the opposite of what I want her to say, then I’m actually just gonna straight up leave.

“Well, Matthew and I have been thinking about it for quite some time now, and I think it’d be better if we moved into your house.”

I got up and started walking away.

“Helga. I know why you’re leaving, but please come back here and let me explain.” She told me before I could leave the room.

I stood still, facing my back towards my mother. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to leave this place I actually called my home. I didn’t want to leave all these crazy people I called my neighbors. I didn’t want to leave Arnold.

I slowly turned around and walked back to my chair, sitting between Hailey and Olga just like before. I really didn’t wanna hear what she had to say.

“It’s not official yet until Matthew and I talk more about it. But right now our best option is considering moving into a bigger house now that we have a bigger family. Matthew’s house has four rooms, with two bathrooms and it even has a community pool since he lives in a neighborhood.”

“Does he live here in Hillwood?”

“No. He lives in the neighborhood called Ballard, about 45 minutes away.”

“Then I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving Hillwood behind just like that.”

“Honey, if we tried to fit the four of us in the room Olga and I are in, then it’s going to be crowded. You have to understand that we need more space now that our family will be a little more extended.”

“Then take one of the bigger rooms here in the Boarding House. There’ll still be more space for the four of y’all while I’m still with Arnold.”

“It’s not a bad idea. I’ll go over it with Matthew, but right now moving is our top option. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, mom.” I slid down in my chair, irritated that I might actually be leaving all this behind at some point. Unless she reconsiders, which I doubt she will, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have hope.

“Oh, and if any of you girls would like to invite a few people to the wedding, Matthew and I would be more than pleased.” And that was my cue to invite Arnold, Phoebe, and Gerald. Hailey and Olga were probably going to invite a couple of their friends as well.

“Alright, that should be everything. I cannot tell you three how excited I am.” Miriam said, and I couldn’t help but smile, even if I was still a little pissed. Mom had to be more than excited than the three of us combined, more excited than ever before if you ask me.

Hailey and I went upstairs to play some Mario Kart. Meanwhile, Olga stayed behind and talked to mom a little more.

“Mommy? Can I talk to you about something important?”

She sounded serious about this, and whenever it was something serious, Miriam always gave us full eye contact. No matter what the subject was. “Of course, honey. What’s going on?” She asked, sitting down in the chair next to Olga.

“It’s about what Helga said. About moving, I mean.”

“Honey we went over this. Our top option right now is that we’ll most likely be moving to Matthew’s house.”

“Well that’s the thing. I agree with Helga on this. I’m not leaving behind Hillwood either. Even if the other neighborhood is just a few minutes drive from here. Helga and I have a lot of memories from here, and I’m not willing to let that slide.”

Miriam gave her a confused look, like she had an idea up her sleeve. “What did you have in mind, Olga?”

“What if you, Matthew and Hailey took a bigger apartment here? That way you three could live happily. I’ll take one of the smaller ones for myself, and in case Helga has to stay there. With the bigger apartments you can have a room for you and Matthew, and Hailey can have her own room. I can replace the bunk bed with a bigger sized bed or just a twin bed and set it up how I like. And with the money I’ve saved for my job, I’ll be able to pay rent for my apartment, and I’m even offering to buy the apartment for you guys! So, what do you think?”

This took a minute for Miriam to process. It wasn’t a bad idea at all, and it’d be great for Olga to get her own room, even if she did live across the hall from her. But that really wasn’t weird at all. She’d have her own room, have the job to keep up, and Hailey wouldn’t have to share a room with anyone. Plus, it would keep me happy. Of course I had no idea about this until later, but still. It was perfect.

“You know, Olga? That might be one of the best ideas I’ve heard for a while. You and Helga will get to stay in your hometown, Hailey will be closer to the school and experience Hillwood, and Matthew will be closer to his job. It’s perfect!” Miriam got up and hugged Olga, telling her how much she loved her and such.

Olga then rushed upstairs to the bedroom and slammed the door open because she was way too excited.

“Criminy, Olga! Stop doing that!” I yelled.

“Sorry, baby sister. But I just wanted to tell you that we aren’t moving!”

The shock on my face couldn’t have been more real than ever before. She told me the whole plan about how she’ll buy mom and Matthew’s apartment and all the details about it while she gets her own place, and that I’ll stay in Arnold’s room still.

This couldn’t have gotten more amazing.

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007.

7:49am. Crowne Plaza Seattle-Downtown, an IHG Hotel.

We got up early so we could get to a hotel that Miriam and Matthew would be staying at tonight, then head out for the honeymoon the next day. They’ll be gone for at least a week and a half, so Olga is gonna look after Hailey in the meantime.

Last week Olga and I went dress shopping and the two of us—and by two of us, I mean Olga—found a couple of beautiful dresses to wear. Her’s was a beautiful light blue color with a little white around it. As for mine, it was a light pink with pink flowers added on to it.

Yes, we all know that most flower girls were for ages under 10 or something, but Miriam wanted me to be one because she thought I’d make a great flower girl. Plus she really wanted Hailey to be the ring bearer for some reason.

The wedding started at 4:30, and we all and we all had to be ready by 1 so we could get there and see what everything was like, anything we needed to change if necessary, and much, much more. We were just gonna do makeup and change clothes at the place because it was just easier that way than wearing everything for over 6 hours.

Mom told us that Olga could take the car back home once we were ready to go. We had brought the one where you could fit six people, so it was kind of nice. Normally I would let Hailey sit in the front, but after the wedding was over, I already knew I was gonna to be tired, so Arnold was sitting up front with me. 

Olga and I went and got Starbucks once we got to the hotel, and man how I loved that coffee. I was so tired in the car after waking up early that I fell right back asleep, even though I should be used to getting up early by now because of school. But who cares.

Later on we finally got ready, and I couldn’t believe I was letting Olga put makeup on me. Everyone knew, especially her and mom, that I wasn’t a makeup person. But all Olga was putting on me was a bit of blush, some mascara, and a perfect amount of eyeliner. Nothing extreme. I’m definitely not a girly girl.

Afterwards, Olga put on her own makeup, then mom told us to try on our dresses to let us see if they fit just fine. It did take us a few minutes to get them on since there were zippers on the back, which mom would have helped us but this isn’t till later, so we just left them unzipped.

“Oh my goodness, Olga. You look absolutely beautiful in that light blue dress of yours. The color really says you.” She complimented, but just wait till she sees my dress. She’s gonna be filled with love.

“I definitely love it, mommy! I saw it and it just called to me. I needed to have it for your special day.” She told her, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. She always acted like this before mom and dad got divorced, and we all know she was like this when I was in the fourth grade.

“Helga! Come on out and let me see yours!” She yelled. I took a deep breath, looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. Arnold would see this, and so would Phoebe and Gerald. But if they liked it, which I think they will, then I’ll feel more confident then I did before.

I finally opened the door and everyone was staring at me. My light pink dress flowed along while the pink flowers stuck on there very well. My white shoes, nice and comfortable when I walk down the aisle later on. Later on I would be getting the basket of flowers and someone there would be making me a beautiful Jasmine flower to put in my hair later, and before all that, I would be getting my hair done and into a tight bun so that way it wouldn’t go all over the place.

I saw Arnold stare at me with a slight blush on his cheeks. I could see how mesmerized he was, and I could start to feel my heart beating rapidly because of how much his beautiful green eyes were staring into mine. I really, really loved him.

“Oh my gosh, Helga. That dress really suits you well. It screams flower girl. And the little pink flowers are just an amazing touchup for this dress! I’m so happy your sister found it for you!” It’s true, I deserve no credit in not finding this at all.

“Yeah, it fits me really well too.” I mentioned.

“That’s good.” She turned me around to the boys and Phoebe to show them properly. “Now what do you guys think of Helga’s dress?”

“Looks good on you, Pataki.” Gerald said with a thumbs up.

“It looks beautiful on you, Helga. Kudos for your sister for finding it.” Phoebe commented.

Arnold, oh Arnold. He didn’t say a word for a few seconds before Gerald snapped his fingers in front of his face, which caused him to jump. So I decided to play around with him for a good minute.

I spun around gracefully and asked him, “What do you think, Arnold?” I could see the blush on his face get a bit darker, his eyes full of love, his lips wanting to come together with mine. He swallowed nervously, looking for the right words.

“Y-you look amazing, Helga.” He stuttered. He looked me up and down, wanting to make some kind of physical contact with me so badly, and I don’t blame him. Of course, he and I would be doing things together tonight.

“Thanks, Arnoldo.” I smirked at him, and gave him a wink. He stayed the same, and he stayed perfectly still as well.

Olga and I got ourselves changed again, even though we would have to put them back later today. We were going to a beautiful wedding venue called SoDo Park. It was an indoor place that mom and Matthew were going to get married from since none of us will be freezing outside. I’m not gonna lie, I wanted to wear a suit for the wedding. But since mom chose me to be flower girl, that wasn’t an option anymore. Mom also got this amazing looking floral lace wedding dress with little leaves and vine patterns on them and it was truly amazing.

All of us were very excited for the wedding, especially me.

4:00pm. Sodo Park.

I couldn’t stop staring at Arnold.

That boy was so fucking handsome in his rental tux that I just wanted to pin him down on the bed and kiss that stupid football head of his. I seriously couldn’t keep my eyes off him. Like, I looked at him up and down, like he was that handsome. Well, in my opinion, at least.

It was only half an hour until the wedding started, and between then and who knows when, my mom will be officially married. I was happy for her, but I think I was a little terrified too. It’s like I said, big changes are coming, and I’m glad I’m not moving, but a lot of this is gonna be really different.

“Doing all right, Pataki?”

Only one person called me by my last name. Gerald. I looked back to see him behind the chair I was sitting in, thinking.

“Everything’s fine, tall hair boy.” I said like I’d tell him if we were in the fourth grade.

“Calm down, you just looked a bit spaced out is all. I would have gotten Arnold over here to talk to you, but he’s helping out some of the guys with setting everything up, and it seemed like they really needed his help. So, you’ve got me.”

“Where’s Phoebe at?”

“She’s one of the bridesmaids for Miriam, so she and Olga are helping her with makeup.”

I nodded my head. Gerald and I just sat in uncomfortable silence for a couple minutes, followed by the background noise of the people moving the decorations and chairs and other stuff in.

“So,” Gerald started, clearing his throat. “Is everything okay, Helga?”

I didn’t know if I wanted to actually tell him before telling Arnold. Though Arnold kind of already knew about what I was about to experience right now, and so did Phoebe a little. So I guess it would be okay for me to tell him.

I sighed heavily, turned over to him and told him, “It’s just that big changes in my life are about to come. I just don’t know if I’m ready for them or not. Plus, I’m going to be the middle child. How do I know I won’t get ignored? I’ve seen middle childs getting ignored before.”

“Oh trust me, Helga. I’m a middle child myself, and even though I don’t actually have any step parents or step siblings, I’m sure Miriam and Matthew will treat you the same way they treat Olga and Hailey. Besides, it’s not like Hailey’s a young child, or a baby even. She’s only two years younger than you. It’s not like she’s gonna need to be taken care of 24/7. When you need help, they’ll pay attention to you and help you along the way. Being the middle child won’t be that bad once you get more used to it.”

Gerald really had something going on in his point there. He’s been a middle child for almost 12 years, he really knows what he’s talking about with this kind of stuff.

“You know, you’ve got a good point there Geraldo. I’ll make to remember those wise words you’ve told me.” I told him jokingly.

“You better. Those are important words I’ve now consumed into your brain.” He also said jokingly. We both laughed at our statements.

4:34pm.

“Would the officiant please come down the aisle?”

The wedding was officially starting. I was in the line of people coming down the aisle. Of course I wasn’t next, but I knew I was going after Olga, and before Hailey. The order was the officiant, the groom, the best man, the groomsmen, the bridesmaids, then the maid of honor, the flower girl, the ring bearer, and finally, the father and bride walking down together.

Olga and I had hardly ever seen our grandfather on our mom’s side. She said she loves him with all her heart, but he had trouble walking a lot, and that he was super far away to visit him, or him to visit us. He lives all the way in South Carolina, near Myrtle Beach she says. I always asked when I was younger if we could go there, but she said it costs too much. But today we were finally getting to see him after 5 years.

The officiant finally comes down the aisle, holding the book that he’ll be reading from, for Miriam and Matthew to say their wedding vows. They’ll say “I Do,” then when they kiss, they’ll officially get married. I’ll have the step-father that I’ve never spoken a word to, and a step-sister that I love to death.

Next came Matthew, the groom. He walks down the aisle in a simple black tux, with a black bowtie and a little flower in his pocket. He fixes his jacket once he stands where he’s supposed to be, slicks his hair back, just trying to fix himself before mom sees him. He looked fine already, there was no fixing needed.

Next came the best man, who was actually Matthew’s brother, Noah. I’ve never actually introduced myself to him before, but Hailey says he’s really nice, and makes a great babysitter too.

Next came a couple of groomsmen which were only a couple of Matthew’s friends. But next came the bridesmaids, and Phoebe was one of them. She wore a beautiful light blue dress, which was definitely her color. She had a white stripe around it holding flowers in her hand as she walked down with the other girls.

Next came Olga, the Maid of Honor. She was also wearing a light blue dress like Phoebe’s. Hers was flowy as she walked the aisle with her flowers in her hands. She really was a beautiful sight to look at, for most men that is.

Next, came me. The Flower Girl. I was wearing my light pink dress with the flowers attached to them, walking down the aisle with the basket of rose petals in my hands, grabbing a handful and lightly tossing them to the ground. I saw Arnold looking at me and once I came up near him, his smile couldn’t have been more perfect. I smiled warmly back at him with a little heat coming from my cheeks.

Right behind me was Hailey, the Ring Bearer. She had the little pillow in both hands, with two wedding rings sitting up-right on the soft cushion. The diamonds gleamed in the bright lights above, shining for everyone to see.

And finally, everyone had stood up for the one and only bride: Miriam Pataki, and her father, Oliver. I never knew his last name to be honest, and Miriam wouldn’t tell me her maiden last name. She said she never liked it.

Miriam was wearing her beautiful white wedding dress with the little leaves and vines attached on it. Matthew was standing there looking like an idiot, staring at her as the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. She really was beautiful though, seeing Miriam like this is something I’d never seen when I was younger.

Oliver stood with the other men on the side, being the closest one to her daughter other than Matthew. He thought it was an honor just being up there watching her daughter get remarried to a man that would actually be kind and good to her.

The officiant finally spoke after a minute or so. “We are gathered together on this day to witness and celebrate the marriage of Miriam Pataki and Matthew Anderson. Every one of us has a deep desire to love and to be loved.” Matthew and Miriam looked at each other, their eyes both sparkling in the bright light, almost as much as the wedding rings.

“Matthew , do you take this woman to be your wife, to live together in holy matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

“I Do.” He says confidently.

"And do you, Miriam, take this man to be your husband, to live together in (holy) matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

She smiled warmly at him, blush coming to her cheeks. “I Do.” She says.

The officiant flips the next page in his book, now facing Matthew. “Repeat after me.” He says what he wants Matthew to repeat, then he repeats it back to Miriam perfectly.

"I, Matthew, take you, Miriam, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part." Matthew told her, and that was the first time I’ve ever seen Miriam with tears in her eyes.

The officiant told Miriam to repeat back the same thing to Matthew. "I, Miriam, take you, Matthew, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part." His smile was wide and perfect for Miriam to see.

He flipped the next page. “Would the ring bearer please step forward?” Hailey stepped in front of Matthew and mom, holding out the pillow with the two rings up-right on it.

The officiant took the rings and asked both of them to place the rings on each other’s fingers. "I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love." He tells Matthew, then tells Miriam the same thing.

Hailey went back to us, and I couldn’t help but put an arm around her. In just a minute, we would officially be step-sisters, and I couldn’t have been more excited.

“Please join hands.” He tells them, and they immediately did so. He places his book to the side as if he’s memorized the rest of what he’s about to say. I start feeling the tears coming to my eyes, and I think Hailey did too.

"By virtue of the authority vested in me under the laws of the State of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife." He turns his head to Matthew and tells him the words I thought I’d never hear before, “You may kiss the bride.”

Matthew wraps his arms around mom’s waist as she wraps her arms around his neck, kissing passionately as the crowd stands and claps as they start to cheer loudly. I start crying as Hailey hugs me saying, “We’re step-sisters now!” And I couldn’t help but pick her up and spin her around, holding my new sister in my arms, and Olga comes and joins us, now all three of us would be siblings forever.

Arnold comes up and kisses me unexpectedly, seeing the tears in my eyes, and with his strong muscles that he has, he picks me up and hugs me tightly, spinning me around this time. I start laughing, and he just smiles, but starts laughing along as well. He seemed just as happy as I was, and he knew these were big changes for me as well, but these were good changes too. We both knew that.

6:36pm.

I was relaxing and eating something for dinner since I hadn’t gotten the chance to eat much today, not on purpose though. I was just really busy today.

I watched Miriam and Matthew dance to Oh Heavenly Day by Patty Griffin, the same song Arnold and I danced to during our dance. But they did look really cute together, I have to admit. And no Bob written all over this. It was really that perfect.

Oh, heavenly day

All the clouds blew away

Got no trouble today with anyone

It was then that I felt a pair of arms wrapped around my neck, hands near my boobs, chin laying on my shoulder, and we all knew who that person was.

“Excuse you, I’m eating.” I say as I chuckle a bit.

“I’ve noticed.” Arnold told me.

“Can I at least finish eating first?”

“Mmmm, no.” I could feel his smirk coming upon his face.

I could feel him lean his head against me, and I had the urge to ask, “Are you tired already?”

“Well I’ve also been helping out a lot of the workers, moving some heavy stuff inside and setting up the decorations for the wedding too.”

“Oh, right. Well pull up a chair and sit next to me.” Arnold did exactly that and leaned his head on my shoulder. I couldn’t hug him or anything because I was still eating, plus I was hungry.

“Have you talked to Matthew since you first met him?” Arnold asked me.

“Honestly, no. There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted to say to the guy.”

“Do you not like him?”

“It’s not that, I just- I don’t know. I hate my dad with a living passion, but can I really get used to someone else who’s now my step-father so quickly?”

“Well, I think you should try talking to him when he has the time. I’m sure you two will really get to know each other.”

“Yeah. Olga’s talked with him already. One time they had a whole conversation for two hours.”

“Well, that’s because Olga was trying to get to know him back then. You don’t have to do the same thing, but it’d be nice for you to, otherwise sometimes it might just be you two somewhere in the car or in a building or something, and you two will be completely awkward toward each other because you don’t know what to say.”

“Yeah, you got a point there, Football Head. You know, Gerald came up to me while you were working earlier. Asked me what was wrong.”

“Oh really? Did you guys talk or did you not open up?”

“Well, I’ve already told you, so I thought it might be okay to tell him. It was about how I might get ignored now that I’m a middle child, and that I might not get the respect and attention I should get. But Gerald explained about his middle child experience, and it really made a lot of sense in a way.”

“Oh yeah, Gerald’s got more experience than you think. Having to put up with a younger sister and older brother was kind of rough for him, but he learned to put the pieces together and now everything’s fine between those three. Well, almost. But you get my point.”

I laughed softly. Sometimes talking with Arnold made everything so much better. No stress was with me, nothing to worry about, nothing to be sad about, nothing bad ever happened between us, and it was so nice.

I then couldn’t help but look at him, his beautiful green eyes, his soft lips. It made me put my plate on the table, put my hand on his cheek, and lean in slowly to kiss him. He kissed me back right then and there, no hesitation whatsoever, and every kiss we had, felt more romantic than before.

I broke apart from his lips and looked at him with lovestruck in me, hearts in my eyes as well. “I love you, Arnold.”

He stared into my eyes, smiling warmly, a bit of blush on his cheeks, hearts in his eyes as well, probably feeling more lovestruck than I was.

He leaned in slowly towards me, and before he kissed me again, he told me in such soft words, “I love you, too, Helga. So much.” Then kissed me passionately.

Chapter Text

WARNING: IF YOU HAVE TRYPANOPHOBIA: FEAR OF NEEDLES, I ADVICE YOU SKIP THIS CHAPTER!!

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008

10:09am. History class.

So let me point something out here. When you sit through the beginning of history class while sitting in the middle row next to the girl who’s kissed your boyfriend twice in the past, and while it’s still early in the morning, it’s kinda hard to pay attention.

Learning about the Civil War and stuff like that wasn’t exactly what was on my mind right now. All I was thinking about was how we kissed at my mom’s wedding, which was over a month ago by the way. The way he was so helpful to the workers, the talk Gerald and I had about me being a middle child. Everything flowed through my mind from that and how we made out for the past few hours Christmas night. Arnold had been on my mind more and more lately and I just couldn’t seem to get him out. Not that I didn’t want to think about him, but my grades have been starting to slip lately, and I needed to bring them back up before Miriam found out.

Oh, Arnold. I started to think. You’re the one and only for me! Not the girl I’m sitting next to that you’ve once fallen in love with. But me! I couldn’t believe it at first, but you really, truly love me! Oh my beloved, how I’d die for you in an instant with that beautiful cornflour hair of yours, your bicep muscles that I’m completely and utterly obsessed with, your soft kisses and how you make the cutest and attractive noises when we make out, oh how I love you!

“Helga?”

I love you!

“Helga??”

I LOVE YOU!

“Helga!”

That’s when the teacher, unfortunately, snapped me out of my deep thoughts. The class started giggling and snickering at me for not paying attention. And apparently I was so deep in thought that I didn’t hear a word she said.

“Uh, sorry. What did you say?” I asked her.

She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily, obviously letting me know to pay attention next time. “What years did the Civil War begin and end? And where did it end?”

This was almost too easy. Arnold taught me this before when I was having trouble studying for the quiz we had to take on this. We had a test on this and everything we were reviewing tomorrow. I almost feel kind of bad for not paying attention to her. Key word: Almost.

“The Civil War started in Fort Sumter in Charleston, South Carolina on April 12, 1861. It ended at Appomattox Court House, Virginia on April 9, 1865.”

She seemed surprised by my answer, knowing that I’ve been kind of struggling with her class lately. “Good job, Helga. You’ve been studying, I assume.”

“With the help of my boyfriend, yes I have.” I turned my head towards Lila and smirked right at her. She was of course pissed off because I was dating the boy that we both loved, which was the exact reason why I teased her in the first place.

“Alright, that’s enough talking. Now class, I’m going to hand you out a practice sheet of questions that may or may not be on the test. I want you to work with the person next to you and work on these together, then once you’re done, you can come see me and see if you’ve gotten the right answers or not.” Once she was done talking, she immediately started handing the papers.

And of course, the person I had to work with was Lila.

Ever since high school even started, she’s been nothing but a bitch towards me, and a saint loving bastard towards Arnold. Which makes him uncomfortable, may I remind you. But every time we tell her that she just continues her act and tries to be nice towards him and asks him on small dates and stuff, knowing that he and I are dating, but gives no shits whatsoever.

I scooted my seat over next to Lila with my sheet and pencil, while she gave me a complete death stare at me. I knew why. I just paid no attention to it. I had also grabbed my monster I was drinking and set it right in front of her, to get more of a judgmental face from her.

“Quite the breakfast you have going on there.” She told me.

“Like you had a better one with that crappy house you live in,” I couldn't help but mention.

All she did was roll her eyes at me, like that offended me in any way. “Let’s just get to work already.”

“Sheesh, what’s up your ass this morning?”

“Oh come on! Did you really have to add in the details ‘With the help of my boyfriend’ this morning?”

“Sure, why not? It’s not like you and Arnold are together.” I couldn’t help but smirk at how mad she was getting, already writing down the answer to the third question.

“You also said it like our teacher really needed to know that information.”

“Someone’s extra jealous today.” My smirk continued to grow wider.

“I swear to god, Pataki. You just wait. One day Arnold might break up with you and get with me instead.”

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at her scenario. I didn’t even care that the other kids were staring at me for laughing so loud. “That’s a good one, Sawyer. But unfortunately for you, that’s never gonna happen.”

“Oh, and how so?”

“Arnold loves me. He would never get together with a girl who kissed him while he was dating someone else. AKA: Me. Plus, he’s told you a million times that he doesn’t like you like that anymore, he just likes you as a friend.”

She scowled to herself, focusing her attention back on her worksheet. Good. She needed a lesson on how to back off of someone's boyfriend today anyway. She really needed to stop getting into that part of Arnold’s life and, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but just be friends with him and hang out normally with him. Like they did in elementary school and half of middle school. She used to be nice and kind, now she’s just a bitch. It’s like Satan took over her mind one day and told her ‘Lila Sawyer, you are now in love with Arnold Shortman. Make his girlfriend, Helga Pataki, super pissed off as much as you can.’

“By the way, what did you get for number 7?” I asked her, but not 100% I got the answer right.

She was now a little ahead of me since we haven’t talked in almost 5 minutes, being almost done with the worksheet. It had 20 questions on it, and she was on 17, while I was only on 14.

“Why would I tell you?”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

“Seriously? We’re supposed to be working somewhat together here. Now Can you just tell me if I got it right or not?” I gave her my paper and she took a quick glance at it.

“John Brown was significant because led a raid on the federal arsenal at Harpers Ferry, Virginia.” She answered for me, knowing that she was about as smart as I was. But apparently not smart enough when it came to not getting away from my boyfriend.

I took my paper back, writing down the correct answer. And I couldn’t help but look up at her, seeing how she was almost finished with the last question. I didn’t smile or anything, but when I looked down at my paper, I couldn’t help but tell her, “Thanks.”

6:30pm. Sunset Arms Boarding House.

Dinner time. The most amazing time of the day. Except when Oskar was making me feel uncomfortable with his weird questions.

“So little girl, how was school today?” He asked with his weird laugh.

“Good, I guess.” I said, grabbing the mashed potatoes with my fork.

“Are you enjoying the food? I made those mashed potatoes myself!”

“Kokosha, you bum! Why do you even bother lying? We all, sitting at this table, know good and well that Stella made these deliciously mashed potatoes!” Ernie yelled at him.

“Yes! Stop lying so much, Oskar. It’s very bad for your self esteem!" Mr. Hyunh said.

Ernie then nudged his elbow against Mr. Hyunh’s arm. “When has his self esteem ever been good?” And they both laughed their asses off at Ernie’s question. Knowing Oskar well enough to be a lying bum who always takes money from everyone in the Boarding House. Even his wife.

“What about you, Short man? How was school today?” Phil asked Arnold, who sat next to me as always. It made me feel more comfortable sitting next to him, because Oskar tended to make conversation with me every time we ate dinner together.

“Oh, it was pretty good. We got this review sheet from history since we have a test tomorrow." Arnold and I had the same history teacher, but in different class periods. We were so bummed out when we both found out about that. "Helga and I are going to go up and study after dinner.” When he said it like he did just now, it made it sound like we were going to make out instead. Which, we probably would anyway, but either way.

“Ohhhh, okayyy. I see. Hehehe”

“Not like that, Grandpa!” He immediately said as blush came across his face.

“Whatever you say, Arnold.” He then nudged Miles on his arm, and he started laughing along with Phil as well.

The rest of us finished dinner 15 minutes later, and we then had brownies for dessert. Gertie had made them just for us, and we thanked her very much for making them. They were honestly pretty good. I think Olga had mentioned that she helped her, since Gertie started getting to the point where she wasn’t as upbeat and energetic as she used to be when Arnold and I were in elementary school. Which was something I don’t think any one of us wanted to hear, especially Phil.

“Oh, by the way, Helga! A letter from school came for you today!” Olga said cheerfully, and I nearly choked on my brownie.

What if the letter contained my grades? I had a F in history and English right now. I couldn’t let them see that! History was because I failed the last couple quizzes. I had stayed up late playing my guitar instead of studying. And English because I didn’t turn in a project in time like I was supposed to, but I’m almost done with it, and thankfully I still had a few weeks left to finish it.

“You okay, Helga?” Arnold asked concerningly, seeing how I almost died from a brownie.

I coughed a few times, taking a huge sip of water to wash down the food. I then cleared my throat before telling him, “Y-yeah, I’m okay.”

He smiled warmly, interlocking his hand with mine under the table, and I couldn’t help but swoon over it.

Olga gave the letter to Miriam and let her open it, since on the front it said ‘To the Parent or Guardian of Helga G. Pataki’. Once she opened it, she read it out loud. “Dear, Parent or Guardian of Helga. We have been doing some research and have recently found out that your child will need to get what is called an HPV shot. It is now required for all students in each school in the county. Please try to make an appointment to get your child’s shot before the end of the school year. Yours truly, Hillwood High School Staff."

“What?!” I yelled. I didn’t want to get a shot. If there was one thing I was deathly terrified of, it was needles.

I could feel a slightly tighter squeeze from Arnold’s hand, telling me that it would alright. But for once, Arnold was wrong. It wasn’t going to be alright. It was going to be terrifying. Last time I got a shot, I was 6 years old, and my parents didn’t comfort me once. And I was crying so much, asking for a hug or something that’d calm me down. But Bob just yelled at me to shut up, and Miriam just kept drinking her smoothies.

“Oh Helga, it’ll be fine. It’s just one little prick on the arm, and then you’ll be all good to go!” Olga said, but that hardly helped me calm down at all.

“What even is this HPV shot? I’ve never heard of it before.” Miriam asked mainly towards herself, and the other boarders agreed with her, because they’ve apparently never heard of it either.

“Oh! Miles and I have read about this! It’s a vaccine that protects against HPV infection. It helps prevent certain cancers that I’m not going to say aloud at the table. But it’s now a required thing to get just for the safety of girls from ages 9-26.” Stella explained. Which made sense. She was an expert in that sort of thing.

“So this is okay for Helga to get?” Mom asked just to be sure.

“Absolutely. Helga, just make sure you eat something before the shot. We don’t want anything bad happening to you if you don’t have anything in your body.” Stella told me, and I nodded at her, fear in my eyes.

“I don’t know. I’ve gotten shots before, and some of them have made me pretty nauseous.” Ernie explained, which made me even more scared now.

“Now just relax everyone! The reasons from what Stella and I have read explain well on why these girls need this shot. This shouldn’t harm Helga in any way as long as she eats something before getting this shot.” Miles explained, and it made me feel maybe the slightest bit better. But not really.

Everyone went back to their normal conversations, while I sat there, staring at my plate. Fear still in my eyes. I could feel Arnold's hand squeeze a bit tighter, reassuring that everything will be okay. But I know that it wouldn’t. My six year self even knew that it wouldn’t. I had a bad feeling something was going to happen. I could feel it.

12:35am. Arnold and Helga’s room.

My appointment was next Wednesday on the 23rd at 11am.

I’m going to be completely honest with each and every one of you: I was so nervous about this shot. I knew it wasn’t till next week, but that also meant more nervousness just building up on your shoulders. Arnold tried to distract me by studying for our test tomorrow, and it did help for a while. But when he went to take a shower, I immediately started thinking about it again. I was terrified. I am terrified. Normally I was strong about this sort of thing, but I also figured out when I was six that I had trypanophobia. A fear of needles. And getting this shot could cause things inside my body that I don’t want to feel nor experience.

When Arnold came back from his shower he tried to comfort me as best as he could. And he was really sweet while doing so. He didn’t ask me any questions about my trypanophobia, he just gave me lots of hugs and kisses, and even put one of my favorite movies, Beetlejuice, on his TV. But once it was over, he fell asleep, while my mind was running through too many thoughts about next week.

So I got up and started playing my guitar, put my headphones on and listening to Slipknot's album Vol 3: The Subliminal Verses. I was jamming out pretty hard and saw it was past midnight, but my mind was swirling with thoughts that wouldn’t let me fall asleep. And once I got to the song Before I Forget, that’s when Arnold woke up.

He tapped on my shoulder, knowing that I couldn’t hear him through my headphones, and when I took them off, I could see the worriedness on his face. Which made me feel the same way towards him, only I thought something happened to him.

“Arnold, is everything okay?” I asked, placing my guitar back in its case as I allowed myself to take off my headphones.

“Helga…I’m worried about you.”

My eyes widened, but before I could say anything more, Arnold beat me to it.

“I know you’re worried about next Wednesday, but I want you to be able to relax and not have to worry about it too much. I’ve had shots before, and they really aren’t that bad.” He smiled at me, though it wasn’t the most comforting of smiles.

“Yeah, but what if something bad happens to me? Your parents may have heard about the shot before, but it didn’t seem like any of the other boarders knew about it, not even Olga or my mom!”

Arnold thought about it for a moment before heading for his computer. I walked over slowly to him, seeing what he had searched up. “It says here that the HPV was invented only in June of 2006, and that girls are required to take it to prevent the causes of what could happen in their lives.”

He scrolled through the list and then went out of the tab immediately, regretting what he read. “Alright, we’re done with that!” He said, blushing as he sped walk back to his bed, and I couldn’t help but laugh to myself. He always knew how to make me laugh, and I was so thankful to have someone like him in my life who was able to do something so little to make me laugh.

I sat next to him on the bed. As I sat down my knee immediately began to bounce up and down, bad thoughts came to mind. I hated this. I hated the school for making me go get this shot. I hated my trypanophobia. I hated everything about this. I knew this week would go by slowly just because my mind knew about next Wednesday. But then Arnold’s sitting right next to me. Placing his hand on my thigh, trying to comfort me as best as he could, even though it’s almost 1am. He’s the sweetest boy I could ever be around.

Then, all of a sudden, “Why did you decide to date me?” slips out of my mouth like it was nothing.

He looks at me confused. “What? What do you mean?”

“Why did you decide to date me?” I stood up suddenly, throwing my hands in the air like an idiot. “I was nothing but mean to you all throughout elementary school! You could’ve ignored me after we kissed in San Lorenzo! But you didn’t, and it makes me wonder why you chose me! Why not Lila? Or any other pretty girl in school!” I didn’t mean to shout, I really didn’t. I didn’t even man to ask Arnold that question, but it’s too late now.

“Helga…” he stood up as well, walking closer to me, grabbing my shaky hands.

My vision started to become blurry from the tears that began to form in my eyes. My emotions were all over the place, and I absolutely hated that they did. “Why, Arnold?” I whispered hoarsely. “Why did you decide to date me?”

He had no hesitation to even start with his answer. “Because you were different from the other girls.”

I sniffled, embarrassed that I was even crying in front of the love of my life. But I was also confused. “W-what do you mean different?”

He squeezed my hands tighter, but not enough to hurt me. “You’re different from the other girls because you’re you, Helga. All the other girls that I liked were very feminine and had manners, but they all seemed to care about themselves most of the time. Trying to figure out what they were going to wear the next day and the day after that, and seeing what makeup they were going to use. What shoes they wanted to buy. But you were different from them, and you still are! Sure you have your masculine side, but you also have your feminine side, and I love your feminine side.”

I looked away from him, my cheeks began to form a shade of red. “I don’t have a feminine side. You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“No, Helga. I know you have one. Even if you don’t show it as much as you used to, I know you have one, and you look amazingly beautiful from that side of you. Not that you don’t look beautiful from your masculine side. I love that side of you too.” He smiled warmly, chuckling to himself. “I picked you because you're the person who’s changed the most since I first met you. You opened up your true self ever since San Lorenzo. You went from being a bully to others, to someone who’s now helping people because it’s her choice. And even though you still act like your old self towards people at times, it doesn’t change the fact that I love you, Helga. And you have to understand that I won’t ever stop loving you for who you are. And whenever you’re feeling down, know that I’ll be by your side to help you get through whatever you’re troubling with.”

My eyes became more teary eyed at his kind and gentle words. My smile became warmer than the heat between our interlocked hands, and I couldn’t help but let go of said hands, and hugged him like I never had before. My heart beat fast, and suddenly the swirling thoughts in my mind kept yelling Arnold, Arnold, Arnold.

I felt him hug back immediately, pulling me in closer to him, feeling his warmth against mine. It was the most comforting thing I have ever gotten, more comfort that I could’ve ever received from the lack of comfort from my parents when I was six. And between his warm hugs and crying, I suddenly started to get sleepy finally.

When he let go of me, he placed his hands on my cheeks and wiped the tears away with his thumb. Then taking the both of us back to his bed and finally getting some sleep.

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008.

10:49am. UW Medicine Primary Care.

Mom kept me out of school today and told Olga to go ahead and take me since she had to go to work. Arnold gave me a kiss goodbye while I was still asleep, and told me to fill him in on what happened later. Of course I’d tell him first and then Phoebe. As I said before, I know something bad’s going to happen. I can feel it.

I was bouncing my leg up and down again as I listened to Metallica’s Ride the Lightning album, it was helping but not helping at the same time. All I knew was that I was just nervous. And Olga was next to me reading a magazine and laughing at it like today doesn’t mean anything! 

She looked over and saw me, seeing how my mind was once again swirling around thoughts that I didn’t want in my head. She placed a hand on my shoulder, reassuring me. “Don’t worry, Helga. It’s just going to be one shot. You’ll go in, get it, and come on out fine!” She smiled at me.

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one with trypanophobia.” She knew about the incident that happened with my shot ten years ago. She was at a friend's house for the day when it happened. So when she drove back home and saw me in pain and tears, she was the one who comforted me. And I suddenly felt safe in her arms, like any six year old would with their big sister. But with Olga it was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It felt right to be embraced in her arms.

“Helga Pataki? The doctor will see you now!”

This was it. I was going to die.

Olga stood up and offered a hand to me. Like I really needed to hold my big sister’s hand while I got my shot. Though I probably would when I was about to get a needle implanted in my arm. But I finally stood up when Olga waved at me and practically said ‘Come on, we gotta get in there’.

I walked into the doctor’s office, seeing the couple of chairs that were up against the wall so that the other people could have a place to sit. I sat on the bed chair thingy that had paper on it so that other patients would be able to sit on it if needed. I looked around and saw the tray of the supplies that were already ready for my shot. My heart rate increased almost immediately. Sometimes I hated how observant I was.

“Good morning, ladies! My name is Dr. Shango. I’ll be here with you today getting through what needs to be done!” She sounded so nice, compared to my other doctor when I was little. Thankfully he was fired, I heard.

“So, who do we have here?” She looked at me directly, and I couldn’t help but smile shyly.

“I’m Helga. And that’s my sister, Olga.”

“Wow. Huge age difference, huh?"

“Yeah. 12 years.” I could get used to her.

“Interesting!” She said with a smile. She then grabbed the strap that went around your arm when they took your blood pressure. “Now just relax and try not to move around too much. Let your breathing steady out through this part.” She explained carefully.

The machine started, and my arm suddenly felt numb. I’ve had my blood pressure taken before, but I hated it so much. I hated how it felt on my arm. I couldn’t feel anything, and my hand felt tingly. That’s what I hated about it more than anything.

She jotted it down on her clipboard and asked me a few more questions. Some she was required to ask, others were just personal questions because she wanted to get to know a little about me. Like what school I went to, how old I was, what grade I was in, and if I had a boyfriend. I didn’t lie about a single thing.

“Very interesting, Helga. You sound like someone my daughter would like to hang out with.” She gave me a warm smile, and I smiled back nervously, knowing what was going to happen next, now that she was done with the normal check ups that doctors did on people.

“Alright, honey. Do you want the shot on your left or right arm?”

“Left.”

She picked up a pen and marked a little dot on my left forearm, marking where she was going to put the needle in. My hands started getting shaky as my heart started beating quickly again. Even thinking of Arnold didn’t help all that much.

She then dabbed some rubbing alcohol on a cotton swab, then dabbed it on my arm. “This will help reduce the pain of the needle. We just need to let it dry for a few seconds while I get this prepared.”

Dr. Shango did what she needed to do. I looked at Olga with a nervous look and she gave me a reassuring smile that didn’t do anything to calm me down at all. Even before she was ready with the shot, I held on tightly to the bed, not wanting Olga to see that I needed to hold her hand or anything.

“All right, honey. Are you ready?”

I swallowed hard, but nodded my head slowly.

She pointed the needle at my arm. “Okay, Helga. Take a deep breath in.” She told me, and I did exactly that, squeezing my eyes shut.

And then I felt it. Hell.

The needle went in my arm, and for some reason, I all of a sudden felt light headed. Dr. Shango immediately put a band aid on my arm, but of course that didn’t stop what I was feeling.

“Okay, Helga! All finished!” She said, my grip on the bed loosening up.

I exhaled loudly, getting up and walking around to try and calm myself down from being light headed. Olga and Dr. Shango were having some sort of conversation, but I couldn’t care less about what they were talking about. But that’s when it hit me like a truck.

I suddenly started becoming dizzy, nauseous even. My vision started becoming blurry as I felt like my legs were about to give out on me. My ears started to ring and it was the worst thing I had ever heard in my life. I turned over to Olga and interrupted hers and the doctor's conversation.

“Olga, I don’t feel so good.” My vision blurred more, but I was able to see the fear in Olga’s eyes when she grabbed hold of me and laid me on the bed. I heard her ask Dr. Shango why my face was not only pale, but somewhat green, looking like I was about to throw up.

A minute later I heard a few more doctors rushing in my room and grabbing a cold washcloth for my forehead and a blanket. I felt a couple tears slide down my cheeks as I thought about Arnold. I was wishing he were here right now. Comforting me as much as he could. Hugs and kisses as he did so last night. I yearned for his affection, and the more I thought about it, the more tears fell from my cheeks.

But that wasn’t the only reason I cried. The other was that this was one of the biggest traumatic moments I’ve ever experienced, and I knew that something bad was going to happen. And now that it has, it’s unfortunately going to be stuck in my head for the rest of my life.

“Get her another washcloth!” One of the doctors yelled.

“Olga…” I whispered.

She looked down quickly, the worrisome on her face. I hated it. “What do you need, baby sister?”

“I need the bathroom.”

Two of the doctors heard me as one of them went and got me a wheelchair. Two of the doctors helped me out of bed as they helped me on. They wheeled me to the closest bathroom. And of course, two of the doctors came in with me. It was both embarrassing and humiliating.

I didn’t even need to go. I just sat there, my head hung down as I stared at my feet the entire time. My body felt so weird. I didn’t even feel anything like this when I got my shot at six. No. This was nothing like my last shot. This would traumatize any girl for life.

I suddenly started getting cold, and you could see the goosebumps and the arm hairs sticking up when I felt the air condition breeze right on me.

“Awe, look at that. She’s starting to get cold.” One of the doctors said, pointing out the obvious. She and the other one started laughing softly.

You wouldn’t be laughing if you were in the situation I was in, I thought.

I finally got wheeled back to the room after not using the bathroom for almost 10 minutes. They laid me back down and gave me a snack and some apple juice. I had a washcloth on my head once again as the blanket was lightly wrapped around me.

Once I ate the snack and half of the apple juice, and laid on the bed for about half an hour, I felt better to start walking again. So I slowly got up and started walking around the room to make sure I wasn’t going to feel like I was about to pass out again, and sure enough, I felt fine.

We finally left the doctor's office around 12, and Olga offered to get me lunch from a fast food restaurant and take me back home so I could relax. I was completely fine with that, especially since I did not want to deal with Lila today.

3:40pm. Arnold and Helga’s room.

When I got home I started to feel dizzy again, so I ate my lunch in bed and watched Wrestle Mania on TV. Once I finished, I almost instantly fell asleep, suddenly tired from what happened today.

I didn’t even hear Arnold come into our room when he opened the door, coming up to check on me and bring me my homework. I was wearing one of his hoodies, thinking about him, and wrapped in his sheet and comforter to keep warm.

He smiled warmly, walking over and giving me a kiss on the forehead. He took a lock of my hair and brushed it behind my ear. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Though probably to him, I probably was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

I finally opened my eyes to see him smiling warmly above me. He was like an angel that came from Heaven and suddenly had to wake me up because of someone that had just died, but made it through their life just to get up there.

“Hi, Helga.” He kissed my cheek, playing with my hair.

“Hey, Arnold.” I said quietly.

“How did the doctors go?”

“You mean Hell? God it was the worst!” I sat up to tell him, but accidentally sat up too quickly and suddenly felt light-headed again. “Oh God!” I said, placing a hand on my forehead, and Arnold’s defensive side immediately came into play.

“Are you okay?” He asked worryingly.

I sighed in relief, knowing that I was able to move again without feeling like I’d fall asleep all over again. “I’m okay. Though when I got the shot, I suddenly felt light-headed, dizzy, and nauseous. My eyes went blurry, my ears rang loudly, and my legs were so shaky that they were about to give out on me. Actually, they did give out on me, but Olga thankfully caught me before I fell. And they said my face was pale and my cheeks were green to the point where it looked like I was about to throw up. But I felt so helpless, Arnold. I couldn’t do anything! I hated what happened inside me! And I knew something bad was going to happen, too! That’s the worse part!”

He looked at me with concern, but pulled me towards him and gave me a hug. Not too tight, but tight enough where I knew he didn’t want to let go, nor did he want me to let go. And I would never let go of his warm, comforting hugs.

I rested my chin on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of his hug for as long as I could. I longed for his affection, and I was finally able to take in as much as I could.

Chapter Text

Friday, March 7th, 2008

4:46pm. The kitchen.

I was upstairs working on my homework while Arnold was out with Gerald at the arcade. He said that Gerald wanted to go out today since they haven’t gotten much time together lately, and I let him go to do whatever boy stuff they were going to do.

I heard downstairs, though, that Miriam and Matthew were being super giggly with each other. Sometimes it made me wonder what they were talking about. What kind of things adults talked about with each other that made them laugh their asses off, especially if they were drunk. They always laughed twice as hard when they were drunk.

Once I finished my homework I went downstairs since I promised Olga that I would help her with dinner tonight, just as long as she didn’t boss me around too much like she did when I was nine and help her with the Thanksgiving dinner. She and I were making sliders tonight, and already had the tomatoes and onions out and ready for me to cut, but Miriam suddenly stopped us in our tracks.

“Oh, girls! Before you start cooking, I have a question to ask the both of you.”

“Of course, mommy. What is it?” Olga asked curiously.

“Okay, okay. So Matthew asked me the funniest thing. He said ‘Why don’t I treat you to a few drinks tonight? Just you and me?’ and I told him, ‘Well that’s just silly. I can make drinks for us right here at home!’ But then I realized that once we moved here I forgot I put my blender in one of the boxes at the storage unit. So I was wondering if the two of you could go and get it so that Matthew and I can have some alone time tonight.” She smirked right at him, which made the both of them giggly once more.

Olga seemed to be completely awed by the way mom and Matthew were completely in love, looking like they were already drunk. Meanwhile, I was kind of disgusted by their flirty behavior as any teenager would be in the first place.

“But what about dinner?” I asked suddenly, remembering that I had a knife in my hand the entire time.

“Oh don’t worry about that honey! You girls can think of something else to cook tomorrow. Matthew and I will cook for you! How’s that sound?” She smiled warmly, and it made me wonder when was the last time I saw her so happy with a single person. She was always so miserable around my dad. But with Matthew, she was like a completely different person.

I sighed heavily, giving Olga a look that told her, ‘She deserved a night like this’, and she then smiled wider. “Oh of course, mommy! We’ll go and get it for you!” She yelled right in my ear.

“Fantastic! Now I know you girls have never been there before, so I’ll write down the address. Here’s the map of how to get there as well.” She handed us the written paper and the map as I headed upstairs to get my MP3 player to listen to music. She told us that the place was about 25 minutes away, and there was no way in hell I was listening to Olga’s music.

I came back downstairs with my bag and my MP3 player, bringing my bag because who knows if there will be any stuff in there of mine I’ll want to take home with me as well. Who knows what shit mom stuffed in boxes. I knew she wanted to get out of the house as soon as possible, but she’s not very good with organization.

5:19pm. Seattle Vault Self Storage.

The drive was of course about 25 minutes long, but instead of Olga listening to her crappy hip-hop music, she and I actually caught up on some things.

She told me that she was looking for a part time job, along with having a full time job already, so that she could be able to afford things with having more money on her, and I told her that it didn’t sound like a bad idea. I told her that I probably wouldn’t start looking for a job till after high school ended. Either that or I’ll look for a summer job, but told her that I also wanted to hang out with my friends and Arnold for the summer, and she completely understood what that was like. We talked about my birthday coming up and what I wanted to do. We talked about Miriam and Matthew’s relationship. Spoke absolutely nothing about dad. Of course we wouldn’t, ever since last year.

We eventually made it to the storage unit. Once we parked, we made it inside and asked for the key to our garage. We then headed back outside and took a minute just looking at it. Knowing what kind of things we were going to be seeing, and how it would affect our past when we lived there. Olga had to have had it much bigger than I did, she did live there 12 years before I did after all.

“You ready, baby sister?” She asked with a comforting smile.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

She turned the key into the keyhole and heard a click, then lifted the garage door to find more boxes than we had expected to see inside of there. I’ll never forget that day at the courthouse. Everything just blew up in everyone’s faces.

“Miriam, the papers show here that you sold the house the week Bob had moved out of the house entirely, the date being December 29th of 2005. Is that correct?”

“Yes, that is correct, Judge Duncan.”

“Mom, what are you talking about?”

“Not now, Helga.”

“You told me that you were drunk when you sold the house in January.”

“If this is concerning my daughter, I should have a right to know what the hell’s going on as well.”

“Please stop. Just- everyone stop yelling!”

“You owe me an explanation!”

“Well, Miriam? WHAT’S THE REASON?”

“BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO THINK OF YOU WHEN I WALKED INSIDE THAT HELLHOLE ANYMORE!”

I remember when she yelled that one messily sentence, it echoed throughout the entire courthouse. It was the one day I couldn’t get out of my head for a while. A day that I hate with a living passion. Just thinking about it gave me shivers down my spine.

“Alright, Helga. Where should we start looking?” Olga asked cheerfully. Her smile made my miserable mood just the slightest bit better sometimes. And this time was one of those times.

“How about you start on the left, and I’ll go right.” I told her, already starting to head inside.

She gave me, in her words, ‘an encouraging thumbs up’, and started looking through all the boxes. I’ve told her before we got here that if they’re labeled, which they aren’t, to just look for a label that said something about kitchen supplies. Without knowing what was in the boxes, I knew that this would take longer than anticipated.

It got too quiet to the point where I put in one headphone and listened to System’s album, Mesmerize. Such a good album. I was always happy that I got to share this kind of music with Arnold, I just wish sometimes that I could share this kind of music with my parents as well. That time they got me those country CD’s, that was my mom’s idea. She was big into country music when she was my age. My dad on the other hand didn’t really listen to much music. He was more focused on starting his own business after high school, or senior high as they called it back then, and college more than anything.

Then again, he was the one that got me that kickass guitar. 

The Fender Player Stratocaster Maple Fingerboard Limited Edition Electric Guitar. Best Christmas gift I’ve ever gotten from him.

I kept looking around in the boxes as I air guitar to the song Sad Statue. It really would’ve helped if Miriam could have labeled the stupid boxes, but I also kind of understand why she didn’t. She just needed to get out of the house. She didn’t want to be around it anymore. She didn’t want to think of Bob anymore.

“BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO THINK OF YOU WHEN I WALKED INSIDE THAT HELLHOLE ANYMORE!”

It’s almost like she finally understood what my 9 year old self went through.

It was then that I heard Olga screaming at the top of her lungs, even with my headphones blasting System of a Down. “HELGA! HELGA!”

“Criminy, what, Olga!?”

“I found the blender! We can start heading back out now!”

Through a small hole between all the stacked boxes, she waved at me with a huge smile on her face, and I just pointed to the door of the garage so we could get out of here. I then could see her holding what was Miriam’s famous smoothie blender. If she liked making those for years, imagine how much Matthew was going to like her smoothies. Without adding her tabasco, she actually made really good smoothies.

As I started walking out, I tripped on one particular box that was in the middle of the floor. I rubbed my arm, seeming as how I landed on it, and took a good look at it, and noticed that this specific box was labeled, “Miriam’s books…KEEP OUT!” And that’s when my curiosity piqued.

I yelled at Olga telling her I’d catch up with her in a minute. I couldn’t help but open the box, seeing how there were a lot of notebooks in there. Seemingly more curious, I grabbed one of the notebooks and started flipping through the pages. These weren’t your ordinary school notebooks, no. These were poems about Bob.

But why would she still have these?

She must’ve forgotten them somehow. Grabbing the boxes so quickly that she didn’t even have time to read what was on this one specifically. But I figured that I had gotten my poetry from her, but damn hers was super good. It was a lot better than how I wrote about Arnold when I was 9, I’ll give you that.

When I placed the notebook back in the box, I started to stand up, giving them one last good before leaving. Until one suddenly caught my eye. A notebook that specifically read: How Bob and I met. The cover also had little hearts and arrows drawn all around it.

My heart rate started speeding up. If I took this, I could find out about the question that I’ve been asking myself for years. But what if I don’t want to see the answer? What if I get mad about it after all this time? Wondering day after day weather I’m… No. This must be done.

I snatched the notebook. Shoving it in my bag and making my way back to Olga, anxious to read it once I got back home.

6:10pm. Arnold and Helga’s bedroom.

I busted through the front door and ran straight up to our room. Olga was just happy enough to find the blender, and brought it straight to Miriam as fast as she could. She asked her what had gotten into me, and Olga just told her that I must’ve found something that piqued my interest.

And boy was she right.

Arnold told me that he and Gerald were now having a sleepover tonight at his house, so I got our room all to ourselves. Normally I would be upset since I wouldn’t be able to sleep with my beloved tonight, and I was, don’t get me wrong. But right now I was glad he wasn’t going to be here. I wanted to find out about this notebook, especially since I’ve hardly heard anything about mom and dad’s past together. Whenever I would ask them about anything, they would just change the subject on it, either that or flat out ignore me.

I picked out a vinyl album to listen to while I was going to be reading what was probably going to be the most interesting thing of my life. I picked out Slayer’s Christ Illusion album and put the needle on the record. Once it started playing, I ran back onto the bed and literally jumped right on it. I sat back and relaxed as I gave a good grip onto the notebook.

“Alright Bob, Miriam. Let’s see what you guys are all about.” I said to myself as I flipped open the first page.

Friday, June 2nd, 1967

Hi, notebook! My name is Miriam! I’m fifteen years old, and I just finished my last year of junior high. I’m so excited to be starting senior high now! But I think what I’m most excited about is going to the Summer of Love event in the park with my friends Kim, Tam, and Dawn. We’re trying to find the right guy before we start senior high. Though people say it’s fine that you don’t, I don’t really think so for myself. I’m just excited to meet someone and hopefully get together with a really cute boy!

“Miriam!” my friend, Kimberly, yelled. “Get your nose out of that notebook and get out of the car! We finally made it to Golden Gate Park!” She added. Since none of us could actually drive yet, we got Kimberly’s mom to drive us.

But the great thing about today was that it was just the four of us: Me, Kimberly, AKA: my best friend, Tammy, and Dawn. Just the four of us. Kimberly and Tammy had nicknames: Kim and Tam. Besides my family, the three of them were the only ones that called me Mir for short. I didn’t mind it too much, since it’s what I’ve been called practically my entire life. Plus I thought it was pretty cute.

I placed my pen and notebook in the backseat of Kim’s car, knowing that she’ll be the one to pick us up later. Her dad was kind of a pain in the butt sometimes, so he wasn’t really around her that much. But Kim’s mom was always there for the four of us when we needed her. Especially me. She knew how my parents were, so I spent the night at her house a lot, and she was always like a mom towards me.

“Sorry, guys! I’m coming!” I yelled, giggling from excitement for today.

“I’ll be back to pick you girls up when the event is over. You said  today’s ended around midnight?” When she meant “today’s”, she knew that this would last until school started up again. Hence the name Summer of Love.

Kim grabbed the flyer from the backseat of the car and looked for today’s date, seeing that her mom was right about the time. “Yep!”

“Okay. You girls be safe and do not get lost!” She always cared about safety. That was one thing she was big on.

“Okay! I’ll see you later, mommy!” Kim waved to her in an orderly fashioned wave as she finally drove away.

“Alright, girls. Are we ready to go find some good looking boys?” Tammy yelled. She was always the lovesick one in our friend group. Swooning over boys left and right, giving us the details on how a date went with him every sleepover we had.

Today we all decided to somewhat match together. Wearing different color dresses and headbands that matched the color of said dresses. Tammy wore a yellow dress with a yellow headband, Dawn wore her light blue dress with white long sleeves and her matching headband, Kimberly wore her pink dress that she’s had for years, and I wore my favorite light green dress that I absolutely loved.

“I didn’t wear this dress today for nothing.” Dawn pointed out, holding the tips of it and bowing at all of us, making us giggle.

Tam and Dawn went on into the park, leaving me and Kim to talk. “Do you really think there’s a possible chance of me finding the right guy, Mir?”

I looked away from Tammy and Dawn and looked my best friend straight in the eyes. I could see the nervousness in her pupils, knowing how serious this was for her. I know she’s been wanting to find a boyfriend since the beginning of junior high. Which was a weird time to start wanting to look for a boyfriend, but I wasn’t the judgemental type to just tell her it was too early.

“I think you’ll find the perfect guy for you, Kim.” I interlock my fingers with hers, knowing that I was allowed to do that with how close we are. “I’m sure a cute guy is going to walk over to you any minute and ask if you want to hang out with him.” I smiled warmly at her, which made her smile back.

“Yeah but not if you’re holding my hand like that!” The two of us laughed as she slipped her hand out of mine. Neither of us were homophobic, if that’s what you’re thinking. We wanted to find boyfriends, but we didn’t want people to think we were gay.

“Alright girls. Meet back at the gate in two hours. We’ll give each other a status update on how we’re doing. Okay?” Dawn stated, and the three of us nodded in agreement. The time was now 5 o'clock, and we were all nervous on how this would go.

Saturday, June 3rd, 1967

So yesterday I saw this cute boy talking to his other friends. I kind of snuck up on their conversation and it sounded like he was trying to find a girlfriend to get before his next year of senior high. And once I heard that I immediately thought, ‘Why would he want to date someone who’s about to go to senior high?’ But I also realized that I had to try talking to him no matter what. He was very attractive, and cute.

“So how did the hunt go, girls?” 

All four of us met at the gate in approximately two hours. We were always good about keeping time when it came to something like this. Plus, I’m pretty sure we all wanted to hear what happened with each other. See and judge some boys looks like we always did with Tammy’s ex boyfriends. Dawn and her seemed super giggly with each other. They must’ve found cute guys. Meanwhile Kim and I didn’t find anyone so far.

“I didn’t really see anyone so far.” Kim mentioned, looking a little down. I agreed with her and told them the same thing.

“Well I talked to this really cute boy named Johnny and he was the sweetest guy I’ve ever met!” Dawn said, clasping her hands together as she sighed in awe.

“Isn’t he the only boy you’ve ever met?” Tammy asked, more as a general question than a joke, really.

“Well, yes. But that’s because I wasn’t really into boys yet when we were around the age of 12 like you guys were. But Johnny was super sweet to me. I think he wants to take me out on a date!”

“How can you be so sure?” I asked her.

“He gave me a little slip of paper with his home phone number on it! See?” She showed us the paper and we were all amazed at how she got that in practically the two hours we’ve been here. While Kim and I haven’t found a single boy yet.

“That’s amazing Dawn! Hey, if you get married can I be the maid of honor?” 

“Tammy!” Dawn yelled, playfully smacking Tammy on the arm.

“So what about you, Tam? Who caught your eye out there?” Kim then asked.

“Oh my gosh, you’ll never believe it! His name was James. He seemed super polite and super nice, and he thought I was beautiful in my dress!” All of us oohed and awed. 

“There goes the lover girl once again. What is this, your fourth boyfriend now?” I said, chuckling.

“Hey now! We’re not official yet, but he wants to meet me at the cute coffee shop down the street at 8am. So I don’t think I’ll be able to come with you guys tomorrow.” She said, her mood suddenly changing.

“No, Tam! Don’t worry about it! You go and have a good time with James. We’ll let you know on any updates if we get something good to talk about after tomorrow.” I told her, placing a hand on her shoulder for reassurance.

She smiled warmly and laughed to herself. “I’m going to go back with James, then. If that’s okay with you guys.”

“I might go back and talk with Johnny some more.” Dawn smiled shyly.

“Of course, of course! Go and have fun!” Kim said, shooing them away with her hands, and the two girls ran off to their most likely future boyfriends.

The two of us started walking together just talking and laughing. Kim was almost certain that she wouldn’t find anyone for her here. I told her that was ridiculous, but the more it lingered around in my head, the more I questioned if she was right or not. What if neither of us found the perfect guy? What if we never grew up with the one guy we chose and got married to him?

But then that’s when I saw him.

He was wearing a striped colored shirt, yellow, blue, and white in fact. He had his shirt tucked into his blue jeans with his black belt and his nice white shoes as well. His hair was slicked back with a certain gel that I couldn’t make out, but his hair color was a chestnut brown that didn’t stick out much to anyone else in the crowd of 88,000 people, but it definitely stuck out to me specifically.

“Kim… I think I found him.” I told her, pointing at him. He was standing underneath a tree talking to what seemed like some of his friends.

“Ohhh, you should go talk to him, Mir! He is pretty cute, especially with his hair gelled like that.” She giggled.

“You really think I should? I don’t want to leave you in the dust.”

“Nonsense! I’ll be fine! Now go!” She literally pushed me to go talk to him. On one hand, I’ll felt bad that I was leaving Kim out there alone, especially without Tam and Dawn with her. But on the other hand I felt good that she pushed me to go talk to a boy who I thought I would never find in my life.

I went behind the tree that they were talking underneath at, listening in on their conversation. For some reason, I wanted to hear how he sounded before I introduced myself to him.

“Okay so tell me, what did she look like?” His friend asked him. I wish he would mention his name.

“She had mid-length blonde hair, a light green dress with a matching colored headband, and she looked about fifteen with these really cute glasses.” He explained, but there was no way he would be talking about me right? What if there was another girl just like that? Could it be possible?

“She sounds pretty cute. Are you going to go find her and talk to her?” One of his other friends asked him.

“I should, but I might wait here and see if she finds me first.” He suggested. Maybe he was talking about me, maybe he wasn’t, but there wasn’t any harm in trying to find out.

I came out from behind the tree, but ran a few inches away from them so it’d look like I came from another location. I took a deep breath in, and exhaled before approaching.

“Hi there.” I started to say, still walking to them.

One of his friends nudged the cute guy’s arm and whispered loudly enough for me to hear him say, “Is that the girl?” and the guy nodded quickly. So he was talking about me?

“Uh, hello.” He smiled, holding out his hand to me. “I’m Robert Pataki, but my friends call me Bob.”

I hesitated for a second. I could see the slight pink come across his cheeks. Maybe he was talking about me after all, and maybe I should believe that he was. I did believe that he was. I smiled warmly, but shyly, at him and took his hand. It was a firm grip, but not enough to hurt me. But his hands were soft, and it made my cheeks flush as well. “Miriam. Miriam Cartwright.”

Monday, September 4th, 1967

Bob and I have been inseparable together ever since June. We’ve been out on a few dates, getting to know each other really well. He wants to start a company of some sort, but doesn’t know what he wants to sell yet. He has a job at some restaurant I’ve never even heard of, but he gets paid well and pays for his own things. He told me he’s saving up for his own car since he’s able to drive soon, and I thought that was really cool of him. We officially became a couple last month and have been happy with each other ever since. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but maybe he’ll become the one I marry someday.

My first day of senior high. I couldn’t actually believe it. I was in a few classes with Kim, only two classes with Tam and Dawn. And what was funny, is that we were all together in one class only. It’s better than none at least, we just thought it was a mistake at first for the teachers and staff to put us four together since we’re very talkative and would most likely not pay attention.

I was putting my things in my locker as I tried to find my class. This school was way bigger than the one I went to last year, and I knew it’d take some getting used to until I had a normal routine of where I was supposed to go.

“Hey, need help getting around?” Someone said.

I took my head out of my locker from decorating the inside of it since we were allowed to do that. But when I fully brought my head out, my heart skipped a beat when I saw Bob leaning against the rest of the lockers.

“Hey you.” I couldn’t help but say and kiss him quickly on the lips.

“Hi.” He smiled warmly, his cheeks showing a shade of pink.

“Oh gross. Am I a third wheel now?” Kim said as she shut her locker. Of course she meant that as kind of a joke, I knew she was. She was never rude to me in any way unless I had done something completely stupid and made us start an argument. But that only happened once the entire time we’ve been friends, and we were inseparable with each other just like Bob and I.

“Of course not, Kim.” I said smiling as I shut my own locker as well. Then I gave it a good thought this time. “Well…”

“Hush!” She yelled, playfully smacking my arm. Bob then took my hand and interlocked it with his. I couldn’t help but swoon over him. He was so sweet, and all I had to do was hope that he’d stay like that forever.

Friday, October 27th, 1967

Tonight was the Homecoming Dance for our school, and Bob asked me to be his date. I absolutely told him yes and I got the most beautiful light blue dress and a matching headband to go along with. Kind of like when we first met, but of course this is completely different. We told ourselves to try and not to be with each other the entire night since our friends were coming as well, but that was pretty hard. But I did spend a lot of time with Kim since she didn’t have a date for the dance, and Bob was completely understanding about it. Tam and Dawn were with their dates, and Bob spent a lot of his time with his friends as well. I could see him staring at me a lot, which I thought was cute of him. When the slow dance came, he asked me to dance and I told him yes. When he danced, he was about to kiss me until he told me he loved me. And of course I told him that I loved him too, because I really did feel the same about him.

Thursday, December 7th, 1967

Tomorrow is Bob’s birthday, and I still need to get him a birthday gift as soon as possible! I’m in my last period now, so I’m going to ask my mother if I can go out to the market and get him something. And if she says no, then I think I’ll make him some cookies. His favorite, surprisingly, is snickerdoodle. I just keep learning more things about him everyday. It’s really putting a smile onto my face. I just feel so great and happy when I’m around him.

Friday, December 8th, 1967

Happy birthday to my love! My soulmate! I love you so much, Bob. You mean the world to me and I hope you have an amazing birthday, especially with the snickerdoodles cookies I have made just for you and you only. I couldn’t get you out of my head all day, and I keep thinking about the date we’ll be going on later. Have an amazing day, my beloved.

P.S. I can’t believe you’re 17 now.

Monday, January 1st, 1968

I can’t believe how much time I got to spend with you at the New Years party we got invited to. When the fireworks went off last night, I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss we shared. Every time we kiss, it just feels more romantic. I love Bob so much. And I’m so lucky I was the one he liked during the Summer of Love. He’s definitely someone I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.

Wednesday, January 24th, 1968

I think Kim, Tam, and Dawn are starting to get mad at me. I’ve kind of been blowing them off lately to spend time with Bob. So today I’m going to make it up to them by telling them we’re spending the whole weekend at my house for a sleepover. We’re going to watch movies, eat snacks, bake cookies, all the usual stuff we do. But I’m also going to apologize for how I’ve been acting as well. As much as I love Bob, I love my friends too. And I can’t stand the thought of losing them, especially Kim.

Sunday, February 4th, 1968

Today I finally turned 16! And I got to spend the whole day with Bob and my friends. I told him he could bring one of his friends as well, just in case if I go off with my friend group somewhere and we end up getting split up from each other. We went to this Valentine’s Day carnival since the holiday is coming up soon, and we spent the day riding rides, getting carnival food, and Bob and I rode the tunnel of love. So romantic! My friends are thankfully not mad at me anymore, ever since we started hanging out more often, but I got to spend enough time with Bob as well. So that made everything well around my world once again.

Wednesday, February 14th, 1968

I asked Bob to be my Valentine last week and said yes! We got each other those little heart candies with messages on them, chocolate, flowers, and cute stuffed animals. Oh how I love him so! He’s literally the sweetest man alive. I still can’t believe he picked me to date. And speaking of date, he asked me out on a date tonight. I’m so excited!

Friday, May 31st, 1968

The last day of school, and the end of my first year of senior high. I can’t believe it myself! I know how much fun Kim, Tam, Dawn and I are going to have, and Bob and I as well! My friends and I had to spend as much time with Dawn as possible, and I told Bob this too, because she was moving at the end of August. The three of us actually started crying; she was moving all the way to Virginia, so it wasn’t even close by where we could visit her. But we gave her all our home phone numbers so she could call us.

Thursday, July 11th, 1968

I’m getting worried about Bob. He’s been kind of distant, and when we did hang out, it would all go great at first, but the past few dates we’ve had had ended with an argument. I don’t know if it’s about his family life, his job, his friends, or even if it was about his figuring out about starting his business. Hopefully I can get through to him so we won’t have these arguments anymore. I’m starting to get a little tired of them, and a bit tired of him not telling me what’s going on. He was so open all throughout the school year, I don’t understand what’s going on all of a sudden.

Friday, August 30th, 1968

Today was Dawn’s last day here before she left tomorrow morning. So we spent her last day by going shopping, getting lunch and ice cream, and talking with each other at the park. She had gotten together with that one boy, Johnny, but had to break up with him because she didn’t want to deal with long distance relationships, and didn’t know if she’d ever see him again. When we dropped her off back at her house, the tears came to her eyes, and ours too, and we all gave each other a group hug. We knew how much we’d missed her. We all loved her. Next to Kim, she was one of the easiest people to talk to about things. I’ll miss her so much.

Saturday, August 31st, 1968

Kim, Tam and I went by Dawn’s house. We didn’t see any cars nor furniture inside. She was gone forever.

Sunday, September 1st, 1968

Bob and I are officially over.

8:30pm

Helga’s POV

“Holy shit.” I said to myself.

I closed the notebook, knowing that I had more I had to read. That I wanted to read. But I was starting to get hungry, and I felt like I needed some popcorn for the rest of this before I moved on. I loved books; they were like watching a movie in your mind, but on paper instead of a screen. I wanted to ask mom so many questions about this. I was so curious, but I couldn’t let her see what I grabbed. She might take it away from me. She probably thought she got rid of this and her poems when we moved out or something.

I went downstairs and heard giggling again coming from mom and Matthew in the living room. They had the TV on, but muted. They had smoothies in their hands, snacks on the coffee table, and just enjoying themselves as they talked. With Miriam this happy with her new marriage, there’s no way I could show her the notebook I found. No, not now.

I popped some popcorn kernels in the pan, making homemade popcorn instead of just putting a bag in the microwave. I added the slightest pinch of salt and scattered it around once the kernels all popped. I then grabbed a Yahoo Soda from the fridge, then headed back upstairs, thinking about Miriam and Bob’s marriage. Of course I didn’t know what was gonna happen next in her notebook, but I was definitely curious.

I hopped back on the bed and used the remote to put on Pantera’s Reinventing the Steel album. I dimmed the lights, but kept them on to a good point where I could still read the notebook, sat back and relaxed, covered myself with the blankets, and continued reading what seemed to be more interesting than any other book I’ve read in the past.

Monday, September 2nd, 1968

Hillwood Senior High.

Miriam’s POV

“You and Bob broke up!?”

I told Kim and Tam the news since they were curious where Bob was, knowing that he always stopped by my locker every morning before we went to class. I’ve been feeling super upset ever since yesterday. I asked Bob if he could please open up to me, and he just suddenly started yelling at me. I didn’t know what the heck was going on with him, but I knew that I was done with him and his fights about whatever he was going through. I told him that once he cleared his mind about all this, to come back to me. But until then, we were done.

“Yeah. Bob and I broke up yesterday.” I told them what happened.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Mir. I know you loved him a lot.” Kim said, starting to rub my back.

They both then hugged me because they could see the tears coming to my eyes. I hated this feeling of heartbreak, but I knew that my heart couldn’t take the yelling anymore. I already got enough of that from my parents, and I didn’t need more from the boy I thought loved me.

It was already hard enough that Dawn moved away a couple days ago, and now Bob was gone too. Not like I would lose Kim or Tam randomly one day, I’m just saying that I couldn’t take losing people any longer.

“P-promise me you guys won’t leave…” I suddenly told them, and they both looked at me worryingly.

“Of course, Miriam. Why would we do that to you?” Kim asked softly.

“Dawn moved, Bob’s gone, I just…I don’t want more people leaving my life. You guys are the only people I have left.” They knew I was right. They knew my parents well enough to know that I hardly considered them family.

“Absolutely, Miriam. There’s no way we would leave you in your time of need now.” Tam started saying. “After all, who else would I rant to when I’m having guy trouble?” She chuckled, along with Kim, and I couldn’t help but laugh myself. She always knew how to make me feel better whenever I was down, and that hardly ever happened.

“Yeah, and who would secretly buy me Yahoo Soda’s when my mother or father wouldn’t let me?” Kim said with a comforting smile.

“Hello? What about me?” Tam asked her.

“You’d definitely get in trouble with your mother and father.” Kim said.

“The point is,” Kim then started laughing because Tam knew it was true. “We will be by your side forever in a day. Don’t you worry. Now come on! Let’s go find our classes and plan a sleepover this weekend at Kim’s house in honor of you, Mir!”

“Seriously?” I asked, wiping my tears away.

“Absolutely! We’ll make your favorite cookies and watch the movies of your choice!” Kim said, interlocking her hand with mine.

I smiled, sniffling and wiping more tears away with my free hand. They seriously were the best, and it would help me take my mind off Bob.

Friday, June 5th, 1970

Hi notebook. I haven’t written inside here in a while, but I’ve definitely got a lot to tell. So yeah, Bob and I broke up almost two years ago. I had found one new boy six months afterward. He was alright, and we dated for only about a month before I lost feelings for him immediately. I just told him I didn’t like him anymore and we never spoke again after that. Kim finally found someone that she seemed to really like. His name was Charles, but allowed her, Tam and I to call him Charlie. He was super sweet and nice to her, and they’ve been dating for almost a year now. Kim told me all the things they’ve done together, and he just overall seemed like a really good person. Tam seems happy with her other boyfriend as well, but she’s been kind of distant with us ever since she met some new friends for our last year of senior high. Dawn hardly calls anymore, and Kim and I don’t really bother calling anymore. But Kim and I still see each other all the time. But now she’s about the only person I’ve got. Sometimes I miss the first year of senior high, but sometimes you just have to move on from the past, and focus on the future.

(Continued)

I met another cute guy back in November named Scott, and we started dating in January. He’s super nice and polite towards me, and I really like him, but I don’t love him. I know it’s weird, especially since most teenagers feel love for their partners only a few months after they start dating. But I just can’t seem to feel love towards Scott. I only like him. We’ve had fights before, but he’s also opened up to me before as well, and he’s done so much for me, but I just can’t seem to feel it and I have no idea why. Anyway, my graduation is today. I should feel more excited, but I’m not. I can only think about how Kim and I are going to different colleges, and most likely won’t see each other again. Which is why we’re going to try and be around each other as much as possible in the summer. Only problem is that Scott has major jealousy issues, which I’m going to have to talk to him about, but he knows I love Kim very much, and how important this was to me.

Monday, September 7th, 1970

Kim was gone, Scott and I broke up, and…yeah. I’m practically all alone now.

Tuesday, October 20th, 1970

I was walking down the hallway to get back to my dorm room, and that’s when I realized who was living across from me. You guessed it, Bob Pataki. I couldn’t believe it either. We both stared at each other for a couple seconds before we started talking again. He seemed to be doing so much better than when I last saw him. We decided to go out for coffee on Saturday morning, giving us a chance to catch up with each other. Later that night I had realized why I never loved Scott…I was still in love with Bob after two years of not seeing him. Even when I was with Scott I still thought about Bob, and how he was so amazing to me. I knew he was going through something, but that didn’t mean that I broke up with him because I didn’t love him anymore.

Thursday, November 5th, 1970

After some talking, Bob and I got back together and told me everything that he wanted to tell me before, and explained why he couldn’t before. It’s okay though, I was just happy that I was able to kiss his cute face again.

Friday, May 31st, 1974

Wow. Been a while since I’ve written in here, huh? Well, I’ll get straight to the point then. Bob had graduated college last year, and while I spent my last year of college here, Bob had gotten an apartment for the two of us. He saved up enough money from his part time and full time jobs and bought the furniture and supplies to make living in our two bedroom, two bathroom apartment comfortable living at. After I had graduated, I immediately got my stuff from my old place and moved in with Bob. I learned how to cook more meals so that Bob wouldn’t do it all, and I got a full time job as a waitress at one of my favorite fancy restaurants, and they pay good money there, so it helps us a lot. I was so happy with him. I had completely forgotten about Tammy and Dawn, but not fully about Kim. I wonder how all of them are doing. What they’re doing with their lives now. If Kim and I had talked to each other, she’d probably tell me that she and Charlie were still together and going to get married. The thing she’s always wanted most.

November 30th, 1976

Bob asked me to marry him. I of course said yes to him. I love you so much, Bob!

Wednesday, March 22nd, 1978

I could not believe we waited this long to get married. I mean, the anticipation was building up inside me, but I didn’t know how much it was building up inside of Bob. We were both happy and excited for today. I finally had called up Kim and Tammy and, thankfully with them having their old numbers, Kim was my maid of honor. While Tammy was just one of the other bridesmaids.

And what’s funny is that I even had the urge to call Dawn, and she still lived in Virginia. So when she picked up the phone I was surprised to even recognize her voice on the phone. Surprised she even picked up at all. Of course I told her this a couple months before I got married, and she said she’d fly in town for my wedding, and be one of the bridesmaids.

Of course this day came quicker than I thought and the girls and I had a chance to catch up and talk like we did back ten years ago. God, has it been that long already? It felt so much shorter than that. I think I was just so happy that I was able to see all three of them in the same room with me once again. And now they were going to see me marry the love of my life. I was so happy that I almost started crying already. But I didn’t want to ruin my makeup, but we did give each other our usual group hug, and it was the best thing I could ever remember from my favorite girls.

The order of people went down the aisle as Bob waited patiently for me to come down last.

“So, how beautiful does she look?” He whispered to Kim.

She smirked, looking at Tammy and Dawn. “You’ll just have to see when she comes out.” She winked at him, knowing how Charlie felt when she walked down the aisle of their private wedding.

When everyone stood up from their chairs, that’s when Bob had seen me. I was walking slowly down the aisle with my long, white dress on. I held white flowers in my hands as well, sort of hiding them behind my face as I smiled warmly towards Bob. The tears had already started to roll down my cheeks, but thankfully I was able to manage them to stop before my makeup had ruined.

Once I made it to the spot I was supposed to be standing at, I turned to Bob and I could see that his eyes were about to explode from all the tears building up inside them.

“Do you, Bob, take this woman to be your wife, to live together in holy matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

He smiled the warmest smile possible. “I do.”

"And do you, Miriam, take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

“I do.”

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!”

Bob grabbed me by my waist, pulled me in close, and gave me the most passionate kiss I never could've imagined him giving me. My girls cheered as loud as they could as the rest of the crowd followed suit. It truly was the most memorable day I could imagine, and nothing would ever ruin it.

Wednesday, March 29th, 1978

Bob and I went out to Santa Monica beach for our honeymoon. The weather here was perfect, temperatures in the 70’s, partly cloudy days practically every day. Just the way I like it. It couldn’t be more perfect.

Thursday, March 30th, 1978

It got more perfect. We had sex for the first time.

Thursday, April 20th, 1978

I’ve realized that I was late for that time of the month, and at first I didn’t know why, until I realized something that I suddenly felt scared about: Could I possibly be pregnant? Because I’ve also been feeling nauseous lately, and I did get sick a few days ago. Bob couldn’t figure out why either. My boobs have also been hurting as well. Very tender, if you will. I went by the library earlier this week and I looked up the signs, and sure enough I had all of those signs I listed. I just had to go to the store and pick up a pregnancy test without Bob knowing. Because if I am pregnant, I don’t know how he’s going to react.

(Continued)

I got home and gave the test a shot. And sure enough, it came out positive. I don’t know how I’m going to tell Bob. He doesn’t get off work until 8:30. So until then I guess I’m just going to have to impatiently wait…

(Continued)

When he came home he saw that I didn’t look very well, so he let me relax and cooked dinner tonight, even though it was my night to cook. He’s the sweetest guy ever! After we ate we relaxed and watched a movie. We were cuddling on the couch, and right then it just seemed like the perfect time to tell him. So I did. And he told me to repeat what I said. So I did. And he heard me right. He was both surprised and happy at the same time. He got up and dragged me along with him, picking me up and spinning me around. I looked into his eyes and gave him the most passionate kiss possible.

Saturday, September 23rd, 1978

We finally had found out what the gender of our baby was going to be. A baby girl! We were so excited for her to be born. We even already picked out a name for her: Olga Marie Pataki. Our sweet angel, we can’t wait to meet you soon.

Thursday, January 11th, 1979

My water broke around 3am last night, so Bob drove me to the hospital and now I’m in the most ugliest hospital gown you’ll ever see me wear. Bob said I looked beautiful either way, but since my mood swings were a complete mess, and he knew that too, I told him to shut the fuck up. 

Friday, January 12th, 1979

2:46am. Santa Monica Medical Center. Olga Marie Pataki is officially born. Bob loves her so much, he won’t stop holding her. It’s honestly so sweet to see him and my daughter together. I actually started crying at the sweet sight. Of course he gave her back to me after a few more minutes. Her beautiful face was the sight of my life. She was the most beautiful creation ever.

“Look at her, Bob.” I said softly, trying not to scare Olga.”

“She’s the most beautiful girl we’ve ever created, isn’t she?”

I moved the blanket she was wrapped in out of her face just a little bit. Her eyes had finally started to open, and it was one of the other most beautiful sights of my life. My eyes started to tear up, seeing how beautiful she was.

“She really is, Bob.” I told him, my throat hoarse. But I couldn’t help but crack a smile as well. “And she has your eyes.”

He walked up to me and kissed me on the forehead. “And your nose.”

We both stared at Olga for a while, unable to keep our eyes off her.

Friday, September 28th, 1979

I had to change my full time job to part time since I had a baby now. And the times I did go to work, I had to hire a babysitter. I hired Kim to take care of Olga. Sometimes we have a chance to catch up, and it would be so nice. I’m glad she still lived near where I did, otherwise I would have a harder time finding someone to watch Olga.

Sunday, September 30th, 1979

After a lot of talking and deciding on Bob’s company choice he’s been wanting to do for a while, he finally figured out what he’s been wanting to sell: Beepers. Calling his store “Big Bob’s Beepers”. I thought it would be a great idea, and he’d get paid a lot more than he was getting paid with the jobs he had now combined! It’d be great considering the fact that we need a few more extra things to keep Olga nice and healthy.

Tuesday, October 9th, 1979

Olga just crawled for the first time! Bob and I are so proud of her!

Saturday, December 8th, 1979

You are the most beautiful boy I have ever laid my eyes on. You truly are my heart and soul. I love you so much to the moon and back. I love you more than you’ll ever know. I love you even more than my deadbeat parents, which is why I will never introduce our pride and joy to them. Happy birthday, Bob. You make everything in my life better when I’m around you.

Tuesday, December 25th, 1979

Olga’s first Christmas! I know she’s been wanting to dig into those presents ever since Bob and I put them under the tree. She’s been grabbing and trying to pull the paper off them. Silly girl, but we gotta love her.

Saturday, January 12th, 1980

Our pride and joy… my pride and joy. Happy happy birthday, my beautiful girl. Daddy and I love you more than you will ever know. You are special to us in every way possible, and we have a soul purpose to always protect you in your time of need. You are safe, and loved by us. You are 1 years old and we cannot believe it ourselves. You are the most special thing that’s ever happened in our lives, and we are so lucky to be your parents.

Wednesday, July 4th, 1990

Sheesh. Been a good ten years since I’ve written in here, huh? Well let’s get caught up then. Olga is now 11 years old, and she’s been doing amazing in school, getting straight A’s for a couple years now. Bob’s super proud of her, I am too of course. But now it's the fourth of July, we’re at Kim’s house for her party she’s hosting. And it’s been going amazing. Especially since Bob and I found an empty room we could be alone in. Oh, and we were completely wasted! Drunk as hell! Which made that night for us 10 times more fun!

Friday, July 27th, 1990

I’m pregnant again.

Sunday, July 29th, 1990

Bob had a day off from work today, and right now would be the perfect opportunity to tell him my little secret that I’ve been hoarding for the past couple days. I was scared to tell him mainly because of one reason he told me a few years ago: He did NOT want another kid. I don’t get the reason either, he just told me that one kid was plenty enough for our family. I told him that having another would be kind of nice. That way Olga had someone to play with and learn how to take care of them. But Bob continuously kept saying no for some reason.

(Continued)

I told him. He looked happy, but deep down, I knew he wasn’t really that happy about it. Especially since I told him that there was no chance of us possibly having another kid anyway. And he wanted to say the word the new baby was, but knew not to say it in front of me.

Sunday, March 24th, 1991

Even though Bob’s not too happy about the second kid, he still helped out with everything around the house and with things outside of that as well since I was pregnant. My water did break around 1:30am last night, so he took me to the hospital and I was once again in the ugly hospital gown.

Monday, March 25th, 1991

Helga Geraldine Pataki. Another beautiful pride and joy in my eyes. Though Bob, on the other hand, I don’t know much about him. He wasn’t acting the same way he did when he first met Olga. I was starting to get a little worried about his feelings towards Helga.

“Do you want to hold her honey?” I asked him, still holding Helga.

He kept looking down until I said that, then looked back up at me with guilty eyes. He knew that I loved Helga, but I knew he didn’t know how to feel about our other child. But he had to try; I knew that above all other reasons. I wanted him to try.

“Okay.” He finally said, standing up.

I gave him our child wrapped in a beautiful light pink blanket with little angels all over them. He held her the same way he held Olga, firm and careful not to drop her. But his facial expression was completely different from the first time. Instead of a happy expression, almost crying even, he really didn’t have much of one. Almost like he didn’t know what to think when he first held her.

“Well, she is pretty darn cute. I have to admit that.” He said, and I immediately smiled, seeing how he finally showed some emotion to our new daughter.

We then heard a knock on the door and came in the nurse, along with Olga and Kim.

“Mommy, mommy! Can I see her?” She yelled, and Kim tried to hush her so she wouldn’t yell and wake Helga.

“Daddy’s over there holding her, honey. Go see your new baby sister.” I said, my smile still on my face.

Olga went over to Bob as he sat down and held her so Olga could see her better. She was in awe when she first laid eyes on her, knowing how important her job was going to be as a big sister, especially since she’s 12 years old.

“Hi, Helga. I’m Olga. It’s so nice to meet you!” She whispered to her, using her index finger to rub her arm at the slightest touch possible. She knew to be as gentle and careful with her as possible, she also knew she would become a babysitter for Helga soon. Well, on weekends at least. Kim would take care of Helga when needed during the days I’m at work and such n’ such.

Later that night Helga and I were finally able to head home. Bob had gotten the baby crib and baby supplies from the garage and brought them back up to our new house we bought not too long ago. He bought it while I was pregnant. No matter how much he didn’t care too much for our second child as much as Olga, he was still such a sweet man. And since it was past midnight, and Bob was asleep, I decided to write one last thing in my notebook.

Tuesday, March 26th, 1991

Wow, I can’t believe this is my last page in my notebook. I’ll make these words as small as possible then. First of all, I cannot believe I had all these fond memories written in here. I’m glad they’re in here. As old as I am now, I forgot some of these events happened 20-25 years ago. I can’t even believe Bob and I met that long ago. Second, I may continue my writing career in the near future. Who knows? I told Bob one time that I wanted to be an author one day, but I’ve never gotten the chance to write a book, or even a plot of one. Anyway, it’s hard to start now. I have two beautiful girls I have to take care of. But what I finally wanted to write in here, was that Bob says “ Helga will always be an accident since I didn’t want another kid, but I will still love her I guess.” The fact that he said “I guess” kind of pissed me off. In my opinion, I would NEVER consider calling my kids accidents ever in my life. Helga is one of my pride and joys now, she is anything but an accident. Bob was wrong on that part to call her that. But one thing I am afraid of is that when she grows up, her and Bob’s relationship won’t be as stable as I want it to be. Which is why this is the one thing I plan to keep a secret…for her safety. And if she finds out somehow, well, I don’t even want to know what will happen. Well, I guess this is goodbye, notebook. Thank you for keeping all my amazing memories.

                                                                                                                                                                                       Yours truly,

                                                                                                                                                                                           Miriam C. Pataki

11:33pm

Helga’s POV

“What…the… fuck?”

I was not only utterly confused, but I felt like crying. Crying for the fact that my mom’s loved me all her life, even though when I was 9 I thought she only cared about herself and her smoothies. But dad… I hate the fact that he called me an accident. But the worst part of it was that it was true! “They were both drunk, and had drunk sex, and that was the only reason that Miriam even had me! I wasn’t supposed to be born!” I started to yell at myself.

The anger, the sadness, the regret, every emotion was suddenly bubbling up inside me all at once, ready to burst out of my mouth. I climbed up onto the roof and I screamed as loud as I possibly could.

“FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!” I didn’t hesitate at all. Cars alarms started beeping loudly, cats were screeching from being woken up from their slumber, people were yelling at me to shut up. I yelled at them back saying “Fuck you” to their faces.

I went over to the wall with the door to go back inside. I stared at the wall for a good 10 seconds before punching it as hard as I could. The pain throbbing in my knuckles was huge, but I really didn’t care. The blood from all five of my knuckles was coming off fast, dripping on the concrete roof.

My fist was shaking violently, and my heart was beating quickly. I was so angry. I didn’t even need to question why I was angry. I was angry at myself for reading that stupid notebook and finding out that I was an accident after all. I wish I could hug Arnold and kiss his Football Headed face. Forget all this ever happened. But I couldn’t be mad he was gone right now. He was with his best friend, and I can’t be mad at him for spending time with his best friend.

I finally went back down to our room and found his emergency supply kit. It had small and large band aids, a small bottle of rubbing alcohol, and other medical things. But what I grabbed, and what I really needed was a good chunk of the kinesiology tape he kept inside. He always had any kind of medical supplies for any situation. That was one of the many reasons why I loved him.

I used some of the rubbing alcohol and poured it on a paper towel, placing it on my knuckles. It stung like a bitch, but I managed to handle it. Of course Arnold was going to be concerned why I had that on, and he would probably see dried up blood and purple around my knuckles. Then I’d have to explain everything to him. I wanted to tell him though. He was always a good person to talk to. Plus there was no way I could mention this to my mom for a while.

After I dried my knuckles, I put on the white sponge foams on my knuckles, careful not to hurt myself, and then wrapped the kinesiology tape around it. Tightly enough to wear it’ll stay on, not tight enough to not hurt me. God this explanation for Arnold was going to take at least 20 minutes to talk about.

I put away the kit where it was before, then went back to the bed and just wrapped myself up, but not before I chucked the notebook across the room where I wouldn’t be able to look at it until morning.

All the words from it kept popping into my head, especially what Miriam had said about what Bob had said at the end. I fucking hated it with a living passion. I knew that this was going to bother me for as long as I lived. I wish Arnold were here. I missed him too much, even though he only left earlier today and would be back tomorrow night.

The thought of all this made me cry. And I fucking cried until I got too tired, and fell asleep with my horrible thoughts.

Chapter Text

Monday, October 6th, 2008

11:53pm. The rooftop.

Arnold’s POV

A cool, autumn breeze blows against my skin. I can’t complain about it only because it feels so great. The inside of the Boarding House has been hot inside lately because Grandma and Grandpa have been getting more cold the past couple years lately. They’ve been setting the temperature at 76-77 degrees inside, and I’ve had my fan on and the windows open non-stop to keep me cool.

In my left hand I’m holding a Yahoo soda, in my right hand I’m holding my locket with the picture Helga and I took at the arcade in eighth grade. I liked her outfit choices in eighth grade, even if she didn’t like it that much herself. That day she wore a light pink shirt with a skull pictured on it, and a dark brown jacket over it, and a black beanie as well. She was also wearing black shorts and one of my old red flannel shirts wrapped around her waist, along with her favorite black boots that she still currently wears.

It really screamed Helga, and it was a really cute outfit, in my opinion.

This may sound silly, something that happened a while ago, even. I keep coming back to this memory from back a few weeks before Helga’s birthday. I came home that Saturday night from Gerald’s, and it wasn’t even that late. It was around 9ish when I got home. But once I went upstairs to our room, I saw she was already in the covers and asleep. Back to the Future, one of her favorite 1980’s movies that she never fell asleep to, was playing on TV, and she was actually asleep while it played.

If she fell asleep to one of her favorite movies, I knew something was up with her. 

“Helga?” I rubbed her back as lightly and gentle as I could, trying not to scare her as I tried to wake her.

She made grumbling noises, not wanting to wake up fully. But she had to have known it was me somehow. I wouldn’t normally do this unless I knew something was wrong with her, me, something, or someone else, inside the house, or if I were leaving without her and wanted to say goodbye. And she’s gotten good about doing the same thing, especially when it was that time of the month for her.

“Helga?” I asked again, a little louder. I could feel a smile grow upon my face, seeing how cute she was asleep.

“Mmm, five more minutes, Arnold…” she grumbled in a low tone of voice. But once she finished saying that she immediately started to open her eyes, slowly forming her own smile once she locked eyes with me.

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you fall asleep to Back to the Future.” I chuckled to myself.

“I didn’t get good sleep last night. Not because you weren’t here, I was just in pain.”

“That time of the month?”

She hesitated to answer, and I thought that was the answer, until she slowly pulled out her right hand. What I saw was a bunch of kinesiology tape around her knuckles, some blood seeping through as well. I could see the nervousness and scared look on her face, thinking that I might be mad at her for hurting herself. But all I felt was worry and concern.

“Helga, your knuckles! What happened? Are you okay?”

Tears started coming to her eyes as she started to explain. “I-I read this notebook that my mom used to write in all the time when she was younger. She talked about how she met my dad and what they did, when they got married, and how they had Olga and I. A-and the more I read, the more I found out I was-” she hesitated suddenly.

“You were what?” I asked softly.

Her hands started to shake, a couple tears came down her cheeks. I looked at her with a soft look. Worried, but soft. I grabbed her hurt hand very lightly, and wiped away her tears with the other hand. I could see why she fell asleep early. She was building up all this anxiety inside of her, waiting for me to come home so she could tell me. She could’ve told anyone. Phoebe, Olga, even Hailey…but she waited for me. I knew she liked telling me things before other people, but I didn’t know how loyal she was about it.

She sniffled, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. She looked at her hurt hand again. Her eyes were also filled with fear once she looked at it. “I…found out I was an accident.”

I bit my lower lip, suddenly realizing my eyes now also filled with fear. She couldn’t be exaggerating about this. No, she wouldn’t. She didn’t do that anymore. She had to be telling the truth. But I had to ask her a couple more questions just to be sure.

“How do you know that’s true?”

I could see she wanted to yell at my face, scream, shout, but she calmed herself and pointed at what seemed to be a thrown notebook on the floor. “It’s one of the last things mom wrote in her notebook.” She got up and rubbed her eyes again. She looked so tired, and I felt so worried for her.

She came back to me with it and used her left hand to flip through the pages, while I immediately took her right hand again. Protecting it as if it was the most fragile thing in the world. She flipped near the end of the notebook, showing me pages that read, “we’re at Kim’s house for her party”, “we were completely wasted! Drunk as hell! Which made that night for us 10 times more fun!”, and “I’m pregnant again.”. But what really got my attention was when Miriam wrote that Bob admitted she was an accident and always will be.

“What the actual heck is wrong with Bob?” I finally said.

“That’s what I’m saying! I’m so fucking angry at him, Arnold! But he’s right! I was an accident! They had drunk sex at their friend’s house, and that was the only reason why Miriam even got pregnant with me! Not because they wanted me, but just because they were fucking drunk! That’s why I punched the wall outside too! I was so pissed off, I couldn’t think straight! I’m just so fucking angry, Arnold! None of this should be running through my head like some marathon!” She started to groan and scream louder each time, and I was afraid it was going to scare everyone in the boarding house.

I took her by the hand, her good hand, and squeezed it gently. “Helga,” I started to say softly. “I know you’re mad right now. I would be too if I found out something like that. But you need to calm down. I promise you we can get through this together. We can talk, and you can scream out all of your emotions to me. And how mad you are at your dad. Does that sound okay?”

Her anger started to fade away when she stared at me with those gentle eyes of hers. Her breathing came down to a steady pace. She was blushing, most likely from not only hearing my words, but from embarrassment from how she acted.

She brushed her bangs away from her face, but only to come right back to her, instead it only made her look even cuter. Especially since her hair was messy from sleeping. She sighed heavily before saying, “You’re right. I’m sorry, Arnold. I didn’t mean to lash out like that.”

I smiled warmly, which caused the blush across her face to turn a little darker. “You have every reason to be angry, Helga. But I think it’s just better to talk it out. Don’t you think so?”

She smiled again. That genuine smile of hers always made me swoon over her. “Yeah, it is. Sit back down, and I’ll start from the beginning.”

Such a wild story. Cool backstory from Miriam, but what Bob mentioned in that notebook was horrible. Why would he even call his daughter an accident? I mean, I get you didn’t want her, and that the only reason she was born was because of drunk sex, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t give her the love and care like you did for Olga.

Miriam’s definitely gotten better ever since she divorced Bob. She’s been drinking way less, looking after her daughters and step-daughter, being kind and considerate towards Matthew as well. He really treats her well, and for once in my life, and Helga’s life too, I can tell she’s so much happier now than when she was with Bob. Even if she was happy with Bob in the past, the future always changes everyone and everything. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll ask Helga to marry me, and we’ll live happily together for the rest of our lives.

Marry Helga…

It was then that I felt a pair of arms slither around my waist, a chin resting on my shoulder, easy breathing against the crook of my neck. She was like this when she was very tired, and it was absolutely so cute of her. I loved when she was like this. She took a nap earlier and most likely woke up a few minutes ago, realizing I wasn’t there with her.

The smile crept up on my face as I allowed her to pull me closer to her. Her embrace was one of the most safest and warmest feelings I’ve ever felt. And I’d give anything for her to do something like this more often.

She then started to kiss the back of my neck, and it felt so good. I loved when she did that. I loved all her kisses. No matter if it’s normal kisses or our excessive make out sessions. Maybe Helga and I will make out tonight…

“So, you excited?” She finally asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Excited that I’m going to be a legal adult in four minutes? Not particularly, but I am excited for the date you planned for tomorrow.” I chuckled.

I could feel a smile growing on her face, her grip lightly tightening around me. Her head resting more comfortably on my shoulder. “Yeah I’m excited too. We’re going to eat so well at Texas Roadhouse tomorrow. I’m excited for their rolls and butter.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle again. “That’s the only thing you’re excited for?” I ask that like I’ve never had their bread and butter before.

“Are you kidding? That’s only one of the things I’m excited for! But have you ever tasted their bread and butter? Holy shit, Arnold. It’s like heaven in your mouth. I’m totally asking for extra when we get there.”

Helga blabbed about the things that mattered less in this world, and I love that she did. It shows how observant she is, and that’s one of the reasons I love her. She doesn’t only see the big things in life, she looks and talks about the smaller details that go on around the world, especially for someone who wasn’t exactly seen much by her parents as a kid.

I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. Not only because of what she was saying, but what I was thinking about as well. “Okay, okay, I admit. I’m more excited for their bread and butter than I say I am. It is about the only bread and butter that I actually care enough to eat.” I say that only because the older I’ve gotten, the more I don’t really care for eating bread by itself. Though this bread won’t be by itself, you get my point.

I felt a smirk growing across her face. “I figured you’d be excited about it. Though it’s weird to think about you becoming an adult in two minutes. I suppose it’s pretty attractive to me.”

It was my turn to smirk this time. “Attractive, huh?”

I may not have seen it, but I did feel her face heating up. “W-well, you know. It'll be really cool that you’ll be an adult now. Uh… shut up, Arnoldo!” She pushed me playfully at the slightest, making sure that I didn’t fall over the ledge as we laughed together.

I looked at my watch, seeing how the clock read 11:59, and told Helga that it was less than a minute until my 18th birthday. I was pretty excited to be an adult, but at the same time, I was pretty scared. I knew that being an adult meant that you could do whatever you wanted to do in your life. For instease, I do want to go to college, and I would be applying for some soon, but I was just so scared of leaving the amazing life behind. Sure others are excited for that kind of life, but my inner self isn’t ready to admit that I’m not. Hillwood means everything to me, especially since the whole neighborhood was saved from the FTI. Even though I always know that I’m always welcome back to Hillwood, I don’t think I’m ready to leave behind all of these amazing memories, especially some of my fondest. Like bringing my parents home, and making special memories with them. And asking Helga out, and special memories with her.

Though now that I think about it, a special memory I could make with her is asking her–

“Happy birthday, Football Head!” She grabbed and lifted up my wrist to see the time on my watch again. “12 o’ clock, midnight! You are officially 18 years old now. Oh my God, you’re an adult dating a minor. I guess I’m going to have to break up with you.” She teased.

“Woah woah woah. No one said anything about breaking up with the one and only Miss Helga G. Pataki.” I teased back, smirking as I placed my arms around her waist. “Last time I checked, I think you loved me.”

“Of course I love you, you doof. And I would never break up with you.” She said, poking her index finger on my chest.

That sentence for some reason made me blush harder than it should’ve. “So, you’re saying that maybe someday we’ll… you know.” I had to look away from how embarrassing the question was.

“Oh absolutely. I’ve been dreaming about that day since I was 3. But we at least have to get through this last year of High School, then College, then we can do whatever our hearts desire.” She said all this as she kept scooting closer and closer to me, placing her arms around my neck.

Her eyes sparkled brightly in the moonlight. Her hair was messy, but in a really cute way. She was wearing her favorite pajama pants with my metallica t-shirt. I thought it was really cute of her wearing my clothes.

Helga then closed the distance between us, kissing my lips passionately and perfectly placed. I pulled her in closer between us, her boobs touching my chest at that point. Unfortunately I was still a inch or two shorter than her, and I was hoping to one day tease her that now she was shorter than me. But it doesn’t look like I’ll be doing that anytime soon.

She broke apart the distance and looked at me with lovesick eyes. Literally. I could see hearts in her pupils. Her hands ran down and underneath my shirt, rubbing my stomach with passion, leaned her head to my ear and whispered, “Let’s go back to your room. I’ve got a present waiting for you.”

It was the way I said okay as quickly as I could with no hesitation.

4:57pm.

Helga and Arnold’s bedroom.

I told Helga that I kind of just wanted something simple for my eighteenth birthday, especially since I’ve been under a bit of stress lately. She was totally fine with it, as I thought she’d be anyway.

Today we stayed in my room and ordered the two of us lunch while we played video games, went record shopping, book shopping, and came back and took a nap for a little while before we left for our special date tonight at Texas Roadhouse. Helga said she’d treat me to anything my heart desired, and I told her I’d take her up on her offer.

I tied my tie and fixed myself up one last time in front of the mirror, making sure I looked extra special for tonight. I didn’t want Helga to think I looked dorky or anything. Though in her case she’d probably say I would as a joke, but not tonight. I know her well enough when it comes to this kind of thing—especially when she plans it out—that she does not joke.

I grabbed the phone in my room and dialed Gerald’s number. Helga and I got to see him and Phoebe earlier today and they both wished me a happy birthday. Gerald got me this collage of photos of the two of us from kindergarten all the way to the present. I couldn’t help but hug him and thank him a million times to the point where he had to push me off just to get ahold of myself.

The phone rang only twice before he picked up. “Hello?” The other line said.

“Hey, Gerald!” I said happily, still remembering earlier today.

“Arnold! My man! Whatchu and Pataki up to for the rest of your special day?” He knew I’d of course be hanging out with my parents and grandparents some before then, which is what I did after Helga and I’s nap. There was no way I’d ignore them all day, especially on my 18th birthday.

“Helga’s taking me to Texas Roadhouse tonight.” I couldn’t help but smile widely.

“Woah! Helga’s taking you somewhere tonight?” I could practically see his smirk through the phone.

“Gerald.”

“I’m joking, I’m joking. But that’s so nice of her, Arnold. You really are the lucky man to be dating someone who once threw spitballs at you during class.”

“Gerald!”

“Okay, okay! But seriously, I’ve seen her come a long way, man. She’s gonna love you till the day after she dies! Her taking you somewhere on your 18th birthday has got to be one of the most nicest things I’ve heard a girlfriend do. Especially since you don’t see that sort of thing much anymore.”

Had to give him that one. Ever since the internet became popular, people have started meeting other people on the internet instead of actually going out and talking with people. I mean, my grandparents were kids in the late 20’s, early 30’s, so they didn’t have anything tech like. And my parents had phones, but not computers or the internet. So it really makes you wonder what it’ll be like when technology starts to get more advanced in a decade or so.

“Then I’m glad I got together with her when I did. Or else I probably would’ve never experienced something like this. I mean, a regular date, yeah, but an 18th birthday date? Now that’s special, especially since we’ve known each other since preschool.”

“Damn right! So get out there and be with your girlfriend and stop chatting on the phone with me! Oh but I do wanna hear how it goes after you get home.”

“Well I don’t think I’ll call you right when I get home. If you catch my drift-”

“YES, YES, JUST GO!” Gerald hung up the phone before I could even put it down, and I was sitting there laughing my ass off.

I took one last glance in the mirror, fixing whatever needed to be fixed with my outfit. I took a deep breath in, and out, smiled at the thought of Helga and all of what she’s done for me. Whether it’d be tonight, or all of what she’s done in the past.

6:39pm. Texas Roadhouse.

“Oh yeah! Rolls and butter time!”

Helga was still on the bread and butter subject. She talked about that halfway there, and all I could do was smile and listen to her ridiculous excitement about bread and butter. But I had to agree with her that it was pretty damn good here. Every time my parents or grandparents took me here when I was younger, we’d always take home extra with us. And their bags of peanuts too. Grandpa was obsessed with the peanuts for some reason.

“So that’s the only thing you’re excited for?” I smirked.

“I told you, Arnoldo, that’s one of the things I’m excited for. I already know what I’m getting for the meal part!” Her smile was so playfully devious, I couldn’t help but chuckle. And I couldn’t help but grab her cheeks, lean in, and kiss her patiently.

I could immediately feel her kissing me back. One of her arms wrapping around my neck, the other letting her hand touch and play with my hair. It was one of the little things I loved about her. And when I broke apart from the kiss, I couldn’t help but stare into her beautiful eyes, and just think back to all the memories that we’ve made with each other over the years.

“Thank you for doing this, Helga. You know, most girls probably wouldn’t do something special like this for their boyfriend. 18th birthday dates, I mean. The fact that you’ve come up with the idea for this means a lot to me. I truly mean that.”

Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight, probably making her forget about that bread and butter for just a moment. Sometimes it made me wonder what she was thinking in these types of moments. Did she think these were special to her in every way possible? Did she keep these memories with her, even though they were small? Because I definitely did.

What am I talking about? Of course she does. The girl has been in love with me since we were 3 years old. She’s written poems and made shrines of me—which she finally told me about before high school started, and it was kind of creepy at first, but she also told me that Dr. Bliss has mentioned to her before that it was a healthy way of sharing your feelings, even if it was to yourself. And I definitely admire her for that kind of thing.

“Now,” I started, “let’s get inside. You talked about the bread and butter so much that now I’m craving it.” I chuckled to myself.

Her smile was so contagious that I smiled because of her. That happens a lot to me, actually. And when she started laughing after I did, I cannot tell you how much I love this girl.

“You are so right, Arnold! We have to get that bread and butter or else they might run out! Hurry, we have to get inside!” She said dramatically, opening the car door quickly and running to my side just to open mine and yank me out of the car, acting like they might actually run out of bread and butter.

“Helga, you do realize that they might never ever run out of that, right? Somehow they always have plenty of it in stock.”

“You never know, Arnold. You never know.” She took my hand and interlocked it with hers, smirking at me. 

Our waiter took us to a clean table for the two of us, while Helga and I took our seats across from each other. Our waiter asked what drinks we wanted, and we both just ordered water.

“What are you thinking about getting, Beautiful?” I asked, smiling.

“I have no idea. Everything looks so damn good! Wait…” of course, something specific caught her eye. And by this point I think we were both looking at the same thing. Because this meal that we were both seeing looked absolutely amazing, and perfect.

“Arnold…are you looking at the same thing I’m looking at?”

“You mean the 8 ounce sirloin steak that comes with grilled shrimp? And the fact that you can get two sides with this meal?”

“And the fact that we’d both possibly choose the loaded potato and a side house salad?”

“My thoughts exactly.”

This was one of those moments where we read each other like a book. We knew each other so well, even from all the bullying one has done to the other in fourth grade, even from all the traumatic events that both of has have dealt with, but one of us was willing to be there for the other in those moments, our relationship has developed into something I could’ve never possibly imagined having.

About 5 minutes later our waiter came back and we ordered the same thing. Our salads came in before our actual meals, so we ate those, peanuts, and our beautiful bread and butter that Helga’s massively been craving.

“Arnold, this is the most beautiful bread and butter I have ever eaten.” She wiped away a fake tear.

“It’s the only bread and butter you’ve ever eaten.”

“Still damn good either way.” She laughed before taking another bite.

After a little while our food finally came to us, and it looked so good that we were both practically drooling over it. We thanked our waiter and immediately started eating the steak, and both of us agreed that it was cooked perfectly.

A little time had passed and we were about done with our meals. As I was about done with my loaded potato, Helga had barely touched hers. She honestly started to look pretty concerned about something, but I couldn’t lay my finger on what it was. She’d be so excited to take me out today, and she seemed so excited when our food got here, or at least she was until after we started eating. I just assumed we were quiet because our meals were really good and we were enjoying them a lot.

But it looks like she’s thinking really hard about something.

I know I stared at her for a little too long because she saw me looking at her, so she lifted her head up and asked me, “Everything okay, Football Head?”

I smiled softly at her. Even when she’s stressing about something she always puts me before her. So sweet. “I should be asking you that. You seemed so energetic until after we started eating. Like you were concerned about something.”

Her smile faded when she heard I noticed, and immediately went back to stabbing her loaded potato with her fork. “Oh, it’s nothing, Arnold. Don’t worry about it.”

“Helga, you saying that is going to make me more worried. And I don’t think you wanna see me so worried. So please tell me what’s going on.”

She looked at me with soft eyes, knowing that I wasn’t going to give up that easily. She sighed, placing her fork down and leaning in a little closer to me, with her tone of voice a little lower than it was before.

“Arnold,” she started, “how…how am I doing? As a girlfriend I mean? Am I doing okay in our relationship? Am I fucking it up? Am I making it better? I mean, I get that we don’t typically fight much anymore, except for like once or twice, but I can’t help but wonder just…how am I doing?”

This was not what I was expecting at all.

“Helga, what are you talking about? Of course you’re doing okay.”

“Am I though? I mean, this date doesn’t prove my point about how I can be a total screw up sometimes, but I still think that about me.”

“Helga, I don’t know what exactly is going on in your head, or what your mind is telling you at this very moment, but what I can tell you is that you’re doing absolutely amazing in this relationship. This date proves how sweet you are for taking me out for my 18th birthday. All the other dates we’ve been on were so memorable to cherish, and I hope you’ve cherished them as well. It makes me so glad that we met in preschool, because who knows what I’d be doing at this very moment if I had never met you in 1993. Ever since we got together, it’s felt right to me. Being together with you has made my life worth living, and if you ever left me or if I did anything stupid to where I left you, I’d break down into a million pieces. I don’t think I could possibly imagine any kind of life without you in it. So, Helga, you are doing so amazing in this relationship. And I hope that one day, we can take it to the next level.”

Her eyes sparkled again. I can understand what she must be feeling. If she had said those words to me, I think I would’ve just hugged her and kissed her immediately. But for one thing, we’re sitting across the table from each other. No stopping us from doing so, but the second thing is that there are too many people here. I don’t want them watching us.

“Wow, Arnold. And you mean all that?”

“Absolutely.”

She sat there for a minute, looking like she was thinking about something important again. That was, until she yelled, “Check, please!” and that’s when I knew that she was thinking about something else when I told her “next level.”

“Helga, wait, what’s the rush?”

“You said, ‘next level’, I can only assume that means you’re ready.”

“N-no! That’s not what I meant by that!” I said, feeling the heat coming upon my face as I waved both my hands in front of her.

“Oh, then what did you mean then?”

I sat down, feeling less flustered than I did before. I took a deep breath in, then exhaled. And even though I felt the major blush on my face, I told her confidently, “Marriage, Helga.”

Her eyes widened. That might’ve been the other thing she didn’t expect to come out of my mouth, but I think she was still set on what she was thinking about before. Because once the check came, she added up the total and gave it back with her card almost immediately.

“Helga, if you really want to do this, let’s talk about it in the car first. Please?” If I was completely honest, I was pretty much ready for about a year, I just didn’t want to do it when we were both teenagers. Not that me being a legal adult and with Helga still being 17 makes it better, but I need to make sure she’s okay with it.

“Okay, yeah. We’ll talk on the drive home.”

Once we paid we kind of rushed to the car, both wanting to talk about this subject that’s probably been on both our minds since we first started going out.

We both shut our car doors quickly and I immediately knew that we were both too nervous to start talking about it. But Helga was the one who broke the silence after about a minute.

“Look, Arnold. I get it if you’re not ready yet. It’s totally fine! I misread what you were saying and I’m sorry about that. I mean, I’ve been ready for a long time now, but I knew I had to wait for the right moment. And you may never be ready, and that’s okay too! I’ve been willing to go at a pace that was comfortable with the both of us since we first started going out.”

“Helga…” I clasped both of her hands, looking at her straight in the eyes. “I’m ready too.” I could feel the heat coming upon my face again, and I could see the heat on Helga’s face.

“No way.”

“Yes way. I’m ready. And I’ve been thinking about it for about a year now, and the more I think about it, the more I really do want it to happen with you.”

She looked at me up and down with a shocked expression still, but her open mouth turned into a mischievous grin, and she pulled me in and kissed me passionately…at first. Until she started making out with me. I seriously thought that we were gonna have sex in the car, until she bit my lower lip, which made me moan, and then she pulled back from me.

She then started the car and looked right back at me. I was holding onto my lower lip, blushing intensely.

“Let’s get home quickly then.” She said, still smirking.

The blush couldn’t be more noticeable, and my love for her couldn’t have grown more and more every inch we were getting closer back to our room.

Chapter Text

Friday, April 11th, 2009.

4:23pm. The living room.

Arnold’s POV.

Helga and I came home to see Grandpa crying for one of the most honest, yet saddening reasons ever. Grandma passed away this morning.

I had never seen him cry so much, and I did so much to try and comfort him, but he kept crying on Gertie’s bed saying her name over and over again. He had her favorite blanket covering him, his head right on her pillow, her left over glass of water still sitting on her nightstand from last night. I couldn’t stand seeing him like this, even though I was crying as well.

Grandma and I may not have been as close as Grandpa and I were, but we’ve done some pretty amazing things together, especially saving that turtle from the zoo, and getting Grandpa’s Packer back for him. We did those things together, and more things after that, and now we’ll never be able to do anything together again.

The worst part about this was that I knew that Grandpa was going to be super emotional for the next few days.

“Can I get you anything, Grandpa? A sandwich with some orange juice maybe?” I asked him with tears still in my eyes, trying to be as strong as I could.

“Oh, that’s okay, Shortman. You don’t have to do anything for me you don’t want to.” He said in the most honest tone I could possibly hear out of him.

“I know I don’t have to do it, Grandpa. I want to do it.” I told him in a low tone of voice.

He looked at me and gave me one of his genuine smiles, but he still looked sad. Really sad, like he’s about to start crying again. “If you really don’t mind, Arnold. I would like that, please.” He told me softly, covering himself more into Grandma’s blanket.

I smiled, starting to walk away, telling him, “I’ll be right back, then,” and went to meet Helga to walk to the kitchen with her.

We stayed quiet for a minute or two. I couldn’t tell if she didn’t know what to say about Grandma, or if she was sad about the whole thing as well, or both.

That’s when I suddenly felt a hug from the back of me. Her arms wrapped around my waist, her face dug into my shoulder, her giving me soft kisses on the back of my neck for comfort. I was putting mayo on Grandpa’s sandwich when all this happened.

“I’m so sorry, Arnold.” She apologized softly, almost to where I couldn’t hear her. But I did hear her, and I teared up thinking about how all that happened while I was at school. Grandma even offered to take me to school, and I shouldn’t have said no.

I put down the knife with mayo on it, putting my hands on Helga’s. She continued giving me soft, comforting kisses on the back of my neck, also giving them to me on my shoulder. I’ve never seen her so affectionate, but I think she knew I kind of needed this right now.

I smiled sadly, grabbing her hand up to my mouth and kissing it, kissing the side of her wrist where I could see her veins. “Thanks, Helga.” I told her in almost a whisper. She could tell how sad I was feeling, especially since she technically raised me for the past decade.

Grandpa and I knew we had to stay strong, especially for Dad. That was his mother for Pete’s sake, and I knew when he heard about the news, he was, of course, devastated. I knew what it was like too, kind of. They didn’t die, they were just asleep for 10 years.

I put the sandwich on a small dinner tray, poured the orange juice in a glass, then took the whole thing up to Grandpa. He needed at least one day dealing with his emotions. And personally, dad and I needed to also.

My eyes now had lines underneath, and I suddenly felt tired. I’ve never had to deal with the death of a close relative of mine; my chest started to hurt suddenly. “Here’s that sandwich you wanted, Grandpa. I hope you like it.” I told him.

“You’re a good boy, Arnold.” He told me with a smile. He took a bite and then told me, “Why don’t you go relax for now. I’m sure your mother will be making dinner soon.” I could see the pain in his eyes when he said that, knowing that Grandma was always the one cooking meals.

I smiled, then headed out the room with Helga. I knew I had to stay strong, but I really couldn’t help feeling all this pain inside me. Last time I felt like this was when Abner died, but this pain was bigger than that even. No offense to Abner by all means.

Sometimes I wonder what it’s like in Heaven, and sometimes I wonder what it’s like in Hell. How do people live in those kinds of conditions? How do people survive being up or down those two places forever? Can they really see their relatives that were already dead before them? Can they see their relatives who are alive? Who knows. It just makes me wonder if Grandma can see me right now…

Saturday, April 19th.

1:20pm. Sodo Park.

Back at Sodo Park, right where Helga’s mom got married four months ago. Now we’re here because of Grandma’s funeral. I know I had to be strong, especially for Grandpa and Dad. I don’t think my father could thank Grandma enough for taking care of me for the first ten years of my life, and I know he wanted to make it up to her somehow. But he didn’t know how exactly.

I saw so many people gathered here. Most of Grandma’s family, some of Grandpa’s family are here as well. All of Grandma’s friends, a few of my dad’s friends, a few of my friends, of course Helga as well, everyone from the boarding house. Everyone that knew Grandma was here today, and that made me smile more than I have been these past couple days.

Some people have walked up to me, my parents, and my grandpa, giving their regards to us, “Sorry for your loss,” is always the first thing they say, and it hurts each time I hear them say it, and I just want to scream. Scream so loudly. 

The funeral was set to officially start at 4pm. We didn’t start till 4:20 because the minister was late, and he didn’t even give a specific reason why. I was oddly confused why, and it even made me a bit mad, but I didn’t wanna think about that now. This day was about Grandma, and I was going to show and give her more respect than I ever had before.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.” He started. I was sitting next to my grandpa and dad. I could see the intense pain in both their eyes once the minister started talking.

“As we all know, a lovely woman, who was beloved by many people here today, has passed away at the age of 90. Would anyone like to say a few words about Gertie?” He asked, and Grandpa immediately raised his hand. He was a strong man, he was in World War II for Christ’s sake. If he can handle that, I know he can handle this.

He went behind the stand and started his speech immediately.

“Hello, everyone.” He said, his voice a bit shaky. “I know a lot of you know me as Steely Phil, or just Phil. I’ve known Pookie since the 1920’s, I met her in elementary school. Now I met a lot of other girls in life, but not someone as spontaneous and creative like this woman. No, she was different from all the other girls I’ve met. We got together in high school, and our relationship was a little rocky at first, fighting a lot, picking on each other. But after time passed, we went on some dates, we hung around each other more, and our relationship became a forever thing. We got married in the 40’s, and had my son, Miles, who’s sitting next to my grandson, Arnold. He he, yes sir she was a fine woman, she was my everything. And even though she’s no longer with us here, she’s probably watching us from up there right about now. I love you, Pookie. We’ll all miss you.”

He did not shed a single tear, knowing that he also had to stay strong for everyone here, including himself. It was then that I saw my dad go up there next. I had a feeling of what he was already going to say, but I wanted to listen anyway.

“Good afternoon, everyone. First, I just wanted to thank everyone for being here today. It means a lot to me, and I’m sure it means a lot to my mother for you all taking time off from your schedules and being here today saying goodbye to her. My mom loved me so, so much. I mean, of course she did, I’m her son. But she would buy me so many things that I felt like I already had everything I needed. We weren’t rich or anything, but she would buy me anything I asked for. Until I told her one day, Mom, save your money for your own needs. You need it more for you and dad than anyone else.

“She then asked me, But what about you, son? And I told her, Don’t worry about me. With my job, I’m making enough money to the point where I can buy you things instead of the opposite way around. She tried buying me things for my hobbies, and I instantly denied it. I knew how much she wanted to, but she needed her money for her needs. She is truly the strongest woman, physically and mentally, I have ever met. And I’ve seen her help more people in my life than ever. Mom, rest in peace. I love you more than anything in this world. Thank you, for everything. And thank you, for taking care of Arnold, more than I did.”

After a minute of no one else going up to the stand, the minister goes behind the stand, asking, “Would anyone else like to come up?” I was debating on going, but I was afraid that I was going to lose my strength, that I was going to break down in the middle of my speech. I don’t do that normally, but in theory, I wasn’t my strongest self today.

I then felt a hand placed on my shoulder. When I looked behind me, it was Helga. I didn’t even realize she was sitting behind me. But she gave me a sympathetic look, then nodded her head. As I look back up there, I take a deep breath, then let it out. I stand up, and start walking to the stand. Once I stand there, clearing my throat, Helga gives me a soft smile.

I don’t smile back, and normally I would. But I didn’t know if it was the right time to do so or not. Either way, I began speaking.

“Hello, everyone. I’m Arnold, Gertie’s grandson.” Everyone says hello back.

I begin with a nervous chuckle. “I- I don’t even know where to begin with this. There’s so many things I wanna say about my grandma. But I guess, if there’s one thing I wanna thank her for, is for taking care of me for a whole decade. Knowing how much she was by my side the entire time, along with Grandpa. She was there for me every step of the way. She never gave up, she never lost strength, she was always there before others. I know that she will always be in our hearts, and that she will always watch over us. Grandma, you’re the best, and I wanna thank you for everything that you’ve helped not only me, but other people, in life. Stay spontaneous and crazy in heaven, I love you.” I then took my seat.

“Anyone else like to say a few words?” the minister asked one final time. No one said anything. I think us three have said everything that we said for them.

“We will now bring the casket over to the cemetery. Everyone please climb in your assigned limoscene and we’ll be on our way.”

5:02pm. Lake View Cemetery.

I held hands with Helga the entire time. I almost lost it at the end of the funeral.

We had arrived at the cemetery, walking over to the grave where it said, “Here lies Gertrude Shortman. 1918-2009.” It hurt so badly to look at that, but as I said to myself, I needed to stay strong. Dad almost broke down in the limo, Grandpa still hasn’t shed a single tear. I knew he was strong, but if he needed to cry when the casket went down, I’d completely understand.

The casket was pure black, with lots of Grandma’s favorite flowers attached to them. Everyone who had come along with us, which was about everyone that was at the ceremony, I was so happy about, because that’s how many people cared about Grandma.

Everyone threw some specks of dirt before the casket went down, because that’s what you were supposed to do. We let everyone do it before me, my parents, Grandpa, and Helga did it. And once we were the last ones to go, we all sat there, not knowing who was gonna go first out of the five of us.

Mom threw it in first. She whispered I love you right afterwards, then she placed both hands on dad’s shoulder and mine. Dad threw in his share next, whispering I love you so much . Grandpa threw his in, whispering You mean the world to me, Pookie. I love you. Helga threw her share, whispering, I didn’t know you well, but you mean something to everyone here. We all love you.

Which made me last. I think out of everyone here, other than Grandpa, I had the biggest share of all. With both hands, I threw in my share, clasping my hands together, whispering, Let everyone know how much you’ll mean to them in Heaven, Grandma. I love you so much.

I immediately took Helga’s hand again. The minister told everyone to step back a bit, but the five of us didn’t move our feet at all. He didn’t say anything about it, and the casket then started moving down.

That’s when dad started crying, finally letting the tears flow down his cheeks. He hugged mom, who was rubbing his back, hugging him as tightly as he could. Grandpa rubbed his back as well, letting a few tears run down his cheeks.

As for me, my tears flowed down my cheeks as well. I knew it would hurt a lot, but I didn’t think this much. Realizing that you’ll never see them again, and knowing why you won’t see them again, it hurts.

I went down to my knees, the tears coming down my cheeks as I cried softly. I put my hand on the ground, blinking multiple times to see if this was really real or not. Or if it was all a dream.

It was real alright, and it hurt me so badly inside. I felt Helga’s hand rub my back for comfort, which made me stand back up, wrapping one of my arms around her waist, letting my head lean against her shoulder. Her arm wrapped around my shoulder, her head leaning against mine.

She kissed me on the forehead, whispering to me, “Anything I can do for you?”

Most people would ask Are you okay? But I’m glad she didn’t ask me that. She was smart enough to know that I wasn’t exactly okay at the moment.

“I think I just need time to adjust to this.” I said, rubbing my eyes, even though a couple more tears flowed down my cheeks.

She looked at me worryingly, giving me a hug. I hugged her back, letting my chin rest on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Arnold.” She knew I wasn’t going to be myself for a couple days, having to check up on Grandpa and dad as well. I was tired, I was upset, I just wanted to go home and not think about this so much, or else I knew it would get me in a depressed mood. And I didn’t want that, because that’s not me.

You are loved, Grandma. You are beloved by all. Thank you for the many great years. We all love you.

Chapter Text

Friday, June 5th, 2009.

9:21am. Hillwood High School.

Helga’s POV.

Graduation day. Who ever thought this day would actually come? Like we were just in 8th grade going into 9th back in 2005. What the fuck happened?

It’s also weird to think about how I’ve actually been with Arnold for almost four years now. Next Wednesday will officially be four years, and it’s crazy to think about that.

Phoebe, Gerald, Arnold and I already have our cap and gowns. Phoebe and Gerald came over at our place so we could all design them together. Phoebe painted all this science and history stuff on there because she’s a nerd and she likes that stuff, with some music notes too. Gerald painted this cool design of a skateboard and music notes as well. And instruments on there too because he’s cool like that I guess. Arnold put open books and also did music notes for his painting the background a navy blue color. And I painted my guitar on there with a couple small skulls, some stars and a few music notes as well.

We all suggested we should have at least one thing that we love and have it on all four of our caps. And since we all love a lot of the same music, we decided on music notes. In other terms, it was mainly Arnold’s idea and we all went with it because he comes up with great ideas.

I’m sitting in the classroom just reflecting on life at this point. Remembering all of what happened during my four years of high school. And I think my favorite memory is actually getting together with Arnold, and moving into his place.

I couldn’t believe that we actually stayed there. When Olga told mom that she would get her own place there, it was really good news, because then Hailey would have two parental figures that she could get used to on her own. With Olga there and me in Arnold’s room, it works out well. It’s still weird to think that Olga’s 30 now. I don’t think she likes it herself, but she’ll have to get used to it. It’s hard to believe I’m even 18. Hailey’s 16 and becoming a junior. That’s weird.

I think Hailey’s been feeling a bit left out lately, mainly because we’re all graduating and she still has two more years. She really likes being with us, and our huge friend group as well. She does have other friends her age too, but I noticed around April that she really liked hanging out with us. Probably because she knew we’d be leaving soon.

I hate leaving her like that, but she’s going to have to get used to it. She is coming to our graduation though, and Arnold’s gonna be one of the people giving a speech this year. There’s always three or four people giving a speech about their four years of high school and how much of an experience it was to them, and what they’ve accomplished throughout their four years. Arnold volunteered to do it and he has about three pages of what he’s saying.

I’m pretty sure he has it all memorized, but he’s bringing his paper with him just in case he gets nervous and forgets what he’s going to say. Which doesn’t happen very often, because he’s more braver than that, and everyone knows that. But you never know with a person that’s about to speak in front of lots of people, but Arnold’s good at that too.

Seniors only had two classes to attend today since we were all going to the Climate Pledge Arena for our graduation. It’s about half an hour to get there, which honestly isn’t that bad. Our whole friend group was gonna be there of course, some of the friends we made while they were still juniors or sophomores, and of course, our families.

I think Olga was very excited to see me graduate today, assuming that I’m her baby sister. She still calls me that, even though I’m a middle child now, but it’s only when Hailey isn’t around. When she is, she calls her baby sister. I know Olga, and I know she considers Matthew and Hailey part of the family. But I think part of her doesn’t like it all that much, because she still thinks of dad. But she has to remember what happened two and a half years ago. Which was the last time we saw that man.

When the bell finally rang I was itching to see Arnold, even though I saw him over an hour ago. Our entire friend group planned on ditching second period and going out for brunch as a celebration of our last day of school ever. We all decided just to do McDonalds because it was cheap and none of us were exactly rich like Rhonda.

Half our friend group didn’t have their own car yet, which is honestly kind of sad if you ask me. I got a car on my seventeenth birthday, so I either drove Arnold’s–he got his when he was sixteen—or my moms. I didn’t mind borrowing either of their cars, I just couldn’t wait to get one of my own.

When I was getting everything out of my locker to put in a cardboard box, I felt a pair of hands around my waist, and there was no guessing who it was. I couldn’t help but form a smile on my face, seeing how his hands interlocked each other.

I dropped my box on the floor, really not giving a shit for doing so, and turned around without hesitation, placing my arms around his neck. He blushed slightly, surprised by what I did. He was so cute like that.

Arnold had applied for four colleges. Seattle University, Clemson University, which was all the way in South Carolina, Regis University in Colorado, which is only about a 20 hour drive without stopping, and UVA. University of Virginia. Arnold seemed to really like that one, and I was scared for him to go all the way across the continent while I was still in Hillwood. But I think that and Seattle University were his top two choices. He needs to choose by the end of the week, or else he won’t be going to any college. He got accepted to all of them. With his astonishing GPA, being a 4.5—he’s smarter than most people think—I get why the colleges he chose would accept him anyway.

I’m planning on taking a year off from school, making some hard earned cash from a really good job. Then heading off into a community college when I’m nineteen. It’s a good plan…right?

That didn’t matter though. We were still going to be together no matter what. Nothing bad will happen when we’re in college, and I won’t let anything bad happen between us. Sure we’ve had fights and arguments before, but nothing so bad to the point where we had to break up.

“Hey, Arnold.” I told him in almost a whisper.

“Hi.” He said with a smile, then leaned in slowly and kissed me. I loved it when he kissed me passionately. It felt so nice, so right in a way. I just couldn’t believe it was almost four years ago that I ran up to his house with new CDs, going into his room, and actually kissing him, and stayed the night at his house. It’s insane, really.

So much has happened in our lives that we can’t comprehend. I mean, we’ve known each other since preschool…in 1994! He was born in 1990, but I wasn’t born till March 25th of 91. So weird how ages can work for different grades, it always confused me when I was younger. I get it now though…I guess.

When Arnold finally broke apart from the kiss, he looked me in the eyes, reminding me, “We’ve gotta get going soon, you know,” as he smirked at me, knowing what he did.

“Well I would be ready if you could let go of me, Arnoldo.”

“But I wanna be with you. Am I not allowed to see you?”

“You know that’s not what I meant, Helga.”

We both just laughed because we knew that we were always like this with each other. But Arnold did let go of me so that I could get this finished.

“Why are you packing stuff anyway? I thought you just shoved everything you didn’t care about in your locker?” He asked me curiously. And he was right, most of this stuff in here I never cared about. And most of this stuff was going in the garbage.

“Oh yeah. Most of it I’m throwing out. But I figured the stuff that people had made for me and the pictures of us, Hailey, and our friends I’ll definitely keep.” There was absolutely nothing in my locker that people had made for me. I wasn’t gonna shove it there with the rest of my junk.

It didn’t take me much longer to finish up. Everything piece of junk I didn’t want nor care about was now shoved in a box, later going to be shoved in the trash. It was pretty much just school notebooks, homework papers and quiz and test papers that I didn’t care about. It’s not because I got bad grades on them…well some of them I did. But I just didn’t want them because they weren’t important to me.

I honestly skipped a lot of classes during senior year because I just didn’t care. It was the last year of highschool anyway. I either went to see Arnold, drove anywhere that was away from school, or went to see Hailey because she’s my younger sister and I love her. But I did show up for quizzes and tests because Arnold told me I couldn’t skip those, and I couldn’t help but listen to him, no matter how much I didn’t want to do them.

“Finally finished. Most of this shit is just useless papers I don’t care about. And all the photos taped in my locker I kept safe with me.”

“I should probably clean out my locker too. Someone else will have good use for it.”

“Whatever you say, Football Head.”

9:54am. School parking lot.

We all met up and figured out who was riding with who. Gerald’s parents had a mini van that could fit up to eight people, so that worked out well enough. It was him, Phoebe, Stinky, Sid, Harold and Sheena though, since the rest of us had cars.

We all stopped by the town dump really quickly so that we could throw all our useless school junk in there. The teachers told every senior at the school to clear out everything in our lockers anyway so that the new freshman would be able to use them for their four years. Which was valid enough for me.

Arnold and I were the first ones to get there, while everyone else got here in less than five minutes. We knew every road, every tree, every bush, every sidewalk in this neighborhood. We’ve all lived here for all our lives. Now some of us were going to different states for college, some were staying here for college, and some were just staying and not going to college at all, but getting a job at least.

“Alright everyone. Remember the plan?” I yelled out, and everyone in our group held up their cardboard boxes. Some were huge, and some were small, but size didn’t matter for what we were about to do. Arnold was even on board with the plan, which kind of surprised me.

“Good. Stinky, you got the matches?”

“Right here, Helga.” Stinky answered in his thick country accent.

“Curly, you got the firewood?”

“It’s in the trunk!” He answered as he did his maniac laugh.

“Perfect. Once you get that out of your car, we can go ahead and proceed with the plan.” Everyone held up their fists and yelled “YEAH” really loudly. Curly went and got the firewood as Stinky took the matches out of his jean pocket.

Now you probably figured out what we’re about to do, but I’m just gonna go over my plan just in case you didn’t get the memo. We’re making a huge fire at the dump and pouring all our useless school shit in said fire. Don’t worry. We have about a dozen jugs of water in case things get bad, and we’ll take full responsibility for what we did. Either that or I’ll blame it all on Harold, but yeah. That’s our plan.

When all of us were walking to the spot we cleared out last night, Rhonda surprisingly came over to me and told me something that didn’t surprise me at all. “You better not ruin my clothes, Pataki. I’ll make you pay for new ones.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that today, then.”

“This is a beautiful dress for today’s graduation! But I can see your outfit isn’t for graduation. You’re wearing a Metallica t-shirt with guy jean shorts, dirty black converse and a backwards cap.”

“So?”

“So you look like a guy.”

“So?”

“How can you live like that?”

“Are you really judging me right now?”

“What? No! I’m just surprised by what you’re wearing right now.”

“So you’re judging me?”

“Helga, I’m not trying to judge you. I’m really not.”

“Whatever you say, Lloyd.”

I proceeded to walk in front of her to catch up with Arnold, who was walking with Gerald and Phoebe. And I swore when I looked back at Rhonda I could see maybe the slightest guilt on her face. Which was something you’d never see from Rhonda. But maybe she actually took time to think about how she's acted since preschool.

I ran up and nudged Arnold on the shoulder, which made him stubble a bit, seeing how I pushed him kind of hard by accident. “Hey, Phoebes, Geraldo, Arnoldo. What’s goin’ on over here?” I asked, accidentally interrupting their conversation.

“Nothing much. Gerald was telling us how he got a new puppy earlier this week! He’s a golden retriever and his name’s Charlie! I figured we could go over to his house this weekend and meet him. You wanna come?”

“That’s cool, I can meet this dog of his.” I said in a calm voice. But the older I got, the more I realized that I really loved dogs. One time Arnold and I were going on a walk, and this lady came by walking her Chocolate Lab and I couldn’t help but pet her, and she was like the sweetest thing I ever got licks from.

“I already met Gerald’s puppy. He’s definitely quite adorable, and very much a people person.” Phoebe mentioned, kind of struggling to carry her box of useless school shit.

“Well I can’t wait to meet Charlie. How old is he, Gerald?”

“Only a few months old. He’s small but he’s very friendly and cute. My parents really got him for Timberly since I’ll be moving out in August, and she’ll be the only kid in the house still. So my parents thought to go ahead and give her a puppy and let her get used to him.”

“Well they’re good parents, aren’t they?” I said as I thought about my mom and dad. As a middle child, there’s some things I like, and some things I don’t. For instance, I don’t get much attention from mom like I used to before she got married. I should’ve seen it coming though. I’m a middle child after all. I hate my dad and my mom is busy with either work or with Matthew and Hailey.

“Sure are. Love them to the moon and back.”

“That was cheesy.”

“Well it’s true!”

We kept walking till we finally made it to our spot. Rhonda was complaining about her clothes yet again. It made me roll my eyes more times than I can count.

“Alright everyone! Everyone except Stinky and Curly have your boxes ready!” I yelled out. Then processed with, “Curly? Stinky?”

Curly had all the firewood ready. He placed them down in a way so that it’ll make a huge fire. Burning everything all at once. Stinky had his matches all ready as well. He took every single one of them out of the box and, in the first try, he scraped them against the box and threw them in the fire wood. We had our jugs of water ready as well, making Eugene lug them in a wagon.

“Okay everyone! Get ready!” I yelled.

Everyone had a tight grip on their boxes. These weren’t going to get us through anything, so why keep them at all? We could’ve taken them for college, but there was no point in keeping every single note, test, and quiz from all your classes if you’re only focusing on one subject in college.

The fire was incredible. It started out as a small flame, then making it bigger, brighter, and hotter by spreading out the rest onto all the firewood around. With as much as Curly brought, it was actually pretty big. Thank goodness Gerald thought of the idea of the water jugs in case something bad happened.

“OKAY! THREE! TWO! ONE! THROW THEM IN!”

And almost all at once, everyone threw their boxes of useless school shit into the fire, cheering and laughing about how they never had to deal with high school ever again. Most of the friend group was leaving for college though. I saw some of the boys screaming “YEAH” and giving each other high fives. It was so funny seeing how stupid they looked.

“Well,” said someone behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see that it was Gerald. I was kind of expecting it to be Arnold. But it’s never just Arnold you know. “We did it, Pataki. Your plan worked.”

“Oh come on, you came up with the jug of water idea if something bad happened.”

“But nothing bad happened! That’s why I’m saying your plan worked. It was a good idea doing something like this. And even going out to McDonald’s too? You’re a real one, Pataki. Remember that.” He told me as he started walking away, going to see Phoebe. And I couldn’t help but smile, lucky to know him.

While everyone else was cheering, I saw Rhonda sitting down watching the others. She looked upset, maybe a bit too upset. Was it about earlier? Was it the fact that she wouldn’t be the most popular girl in our grade? Could it be that she didn’t want to leave Hillwood for an expensive college like she planned on going to?

I was a bit curious, so I walked over and actually went to talk to her.

“Hey,” I said in the most calm voice I could.

She looked up to me, like she was surprised I was actually talking to her. “Oh, hi Helga.”

“Come on. What’s up?” I could always tell by people’s voices that something was going on with them, it was way too obvious at this point.

“What do you mean?” She asked, acting like I didn’t know.

“Rhonda, I know something’s up. Now what’s wrong?”

She sighed, knowing that she couldn’t deny it anymore. “Fine. I– I guess I feel bad for the way I treated you, and…I’m sorry. There, I said it.”

“Wow. Rhonda Wellington Llyod. Apologizing. That’s a first.” I told her as I sat down next to her.

“Hey! I’ve apologized before!”

“Oh yeah? To whom?”

She stayed silent for a good minute, which answered my question.

“Heh, that’s what I thought.” I stood up and started walking away from her, and before I continued walking, I turned my head to face her once more before going to Arnold. “But…I accept your apology.” I turned my head back and walked as I put my hands in my pocket.

She watched me as I walked away, and for once, she smiled towards me. I had no idea if she knew that I knew she smiled at me, but I did know. I liked that she smiled at me. Maybe she changed, maybe she didn’t. But either way, for once, it made me happy that Rhonda actually apologized, and really meant it.

12:54pm. McDonalds.

We all got happy meals from McDonalds just to be funny, but also to bring back memories from when we had a field trip in kindergarten to the aquarium and we stopped at a McDonalds for lunch. They’ve really changed since 1995. This one specifically I mean.

We got the tables and collabed them together to form one huge seating for all fifteen of us. Three waiters came out with fifteen happy meals to see that it was all 17 and 18 year old, and everyone at the table started laughing seeing their facial expressions. We all got happy meal toys of little figures from a movie none of us knew, and started making up random shit for them to say as we ate.

I noticed that Lila had sat next to Arnold, but she didn’t say a word to him. She didn’t say a word to anyone actually. If I’m being honest, I haven’t seen much of Lila lately at school. Ever since that dance back in 2006, she hasn’t spoken to Arnold and I hardly at all. I don’t blame her, we were both mad at her that day. And that was three years ago too.

It was then that Arnold tapped on my shoulder and leaned towards me to tell me, “Lila wants to talk to us outside.” This was a surprise. I didn’t think Lila would actually have the guts to speak to us again after what happened. Yet it’s been three years, and my good side tells me it’s about time she spoke up to us.

I saw that Arnold gave her a thumbs up, which made her smile warmly. I hadn’t seen that smile on her since freshman year. Us three got up and told our friends we’d be right back, then we heard Harold, Stinky, and Sid continue playing with their little figures.

Arnold sat on one of the outside benches as I leaned on the wall, bringing my fries with me because I was hungry. I have gotten better with my eating disorder; there will be times where I won’t eat for the whole day, but Arnold tells me I need to eat. Sometimes I listen to him, sometimes I don’t.

“I like your outfit, Helga. I always thought clothes like that suit you well.” She complimented. I couldn’t help but smile at that. Hardly any compliments on what I wear, and what I am wearing right now—Metallica t-shirt, guy jean shorts, dirty converse and a backwards cap—I was definitely not expecting a compliment. I could tell she’s been doing a lot of thinking these past three years, and seems like she’s back to the way she was in elementary school.

“Uh, t-thanks, Lila.” I stuttered, and she gave me the sweetest smile. A smile even I haven’t seen since the sixth grade.

“So, Lila. Why did you wanna talk to us out here?” Arnold asked curiously.

“Yeah,” I started, shoving french fries in my mouth, “why did you wanna talk to us?” I already knew what it was about. It was obvious. She was gonna talk about what she’s been doing for the past three years, apologize to Arnold and I again, then ask if we can be friends again. I’ve read so many books to know what people will actually do in these types of situations at this point.

“Well, firstly, I’ve been doing some thinking for the past few years. Mainly with how I treated you two. How badly I was towards Arnold. I fell into the wrong friend group starting middle school. I thought they were actually my friends, but they weren’t. They talked to me about Arnold all the time, and I couldn’t help but have a crush on you, Arnold. And I even knew you liked Helga too. You talked about her all the time in sixth grade, and I couldn’t help but feel jealous.”

That’s one, I thought.

“Secondly, I feel the need to apologize once again for my actions. It was oh so wrong for me to act like that freshman year in front of you guys. In sophomore year, the more distant I became, the more I lost feelings for Arnold. I saw you two in the halls, and I saw how happy you guys were. I felt happy for you two, and you guys do deserve all the happiness in the world. So, I’m sorry for what happened in 2006, I’m sorry for my behavior, I’m sorry for everything.”

That’s two.

“I know that’s probably still not enough for you to both forgive me, but I was hoping that maybe we could become friends again. I’d love it if that did happen. We could catch up on the things that we’ve done these past few years. Only if you guys are okay with it, of course.”

And that’s three. I knew this would happen.

Arnold and I looked at each, and decided that we needed a minute to talk, just the two of us, about this.

“So? What do you think?” Arnold asked me.

“I don’t know,” I looked back at Lila, who gave me a nervous, yet soft smile, then looked back at Arnold. “Do you think she might try something again? I don’t want her kissing you again.”

“I know you have some trust issues, but this is Lila we’re talking about. You heard her apology, and she seems and looks so much better now.”

“I never said she wasn’t, I’m just worried she might try something against you again.”

“If she does try anything, then I’ll let you know immediately. You know I always tell you everything anyways.” He placed his hand on mine, caressing his thumb. I had a hint of blush on my cheeks, surprised by what he did for a second.

“Promise you’ll tell me?” I held out my pinky to him. Of course I trust him, but I needed him to tell me if anything would go on between him and Lila. I didn’t want her kissing him again, even if she did look better than before.

“I promise.” He smiled warmly, wrapping his pinky with mine.

We turned back to Lila, who was sitting and waiting patiently for us. “Okay, Lila. We forgive you, and we’re okay with being friends with you again. But if you try anything, Arnold will tell me. This is your only other chance. Got it?” I told her boldly.

“I understand. Thank you oh so much!” Lila cheered, hugging us both in each arm. Arnold smiled and hugged Lila back. I don’t blame him, they were really good friends in elementary school. And I couldn’t help but smile about this, and I hugged her back, digging my head into her shoulder, remembering all the bad things I’ve done and said to her.

5:21pm. Hillwood High School.

The time had finally come. I’m sitting in a chair next to two people who I had no idea who they were, same with them. Our whole friend group was scattered around somewhere. We couldn’t sit next to each other because we had to sit in our assigned seats for graduation. It’s just how it was when you’re graduating.

Two people had already spoken their speeches on the podium. Arnold wanted to go last since his speech was longer than the other two peoples. The first person’s speech was like 5 minutes maybe, and the second one was probably around the same. There was a few minute wait in between all three of them. But I knew Arnold’s was going to be the most interesting, which is why I was listening to Pantera’s album Reinventing the Steel while the first two people were talking.

Finally, the principal called Arnold to the podium. As he walked on stage, he looked super confident. Having a few pieces of papers stapled together, his graduation gown all neat and his cap looking badass. Not a single sweat mark on his face, not any sign of nervousness upon him. Yet I’m sitting kind of far from him so I can’t tell exactly, but I can tell he wasn’t nervous. I knew it from my heart.

Everyone cheered and clapped when they heard Arnold’s name. Everyone knew who he was because he became one of the most popular kids ever since our San Larenzo trip. Everyone in our grade, and about half of the other grades either heard of Arnold, or knew him personally. But no one knew him as well enough as me. And that felt amazing to me.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he started saying, like this was a conference or something. “As the years flew by, I’ve come to know and love so many people in my life. It’s amazing how many people I know ever since my San Lorenzo trip. But the reason I wrote this was because I wanted to do this, not because I was forced in any way. I wanted to share and express my feelings up here in front of all of you, to know what’s been going on in my life a bit. Whether you know me super well and are very close with me, or you may not know me at all, you should know that each and every one of you means something to someone. You matter. You are loved by lots of people. There are good days, and there are bad days, but you don’t give up. You keep moving forward. You keep getting stronger physically and mentally. You know how to do things that some people might not know how to do, and that’s okay. You keep trying until you can do it. You work hard for that strength.

“Now, the main reason I originally wrote this. I wanted to talk about my family a bit. I may have been away from my parents for the first ten years of my life, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t get close with them. I had gotten super close to my grandfather and my grandmother, who passed away over a year ago, but I know that she’s watching us whether she’s up there or down there. The point is, I love my family more than anyone could know, and I stick by that through thick and thin. My parents are the best, and I feel like I can tell them anything if I need to, same with my grandpa. The three of them, plus my grandma, had really been there for me. I can’t thank them enough for all the help they’ve given me throughout the years.” Tears came to his eyes, and I saw Miles, Stella, and Phil’s eyes go all teary as well.

“Next I wanna talk about someone who I’ve been best friends with since preschool. Someone who’s stuck with me through thick and thin as well. You may know him yourself…Gerald Johanson. Gerald and I have been through too much together to the point that if we weren’t friends anymore, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him. Gerald is someone I can always look up to when I need him. He’s someone I can trust with all my life. He’s someone who I’d say, Hey, let’s play basketball, in 30 degree weather and he’d be like, Yeah I’m up for that. So we’d go play with our scarfs wrapped up nice and snug, as we had our gloves on as tight as possible so our hands could stay warm. It’s such a miracle being friends with him. I can’t explain how nice of a guy he can really be. Sure we’ve had our ups and downs, but that didn’t mean we stopped being friends. Our adventures and years of high school never got in the way of our friendship. Gerald, you are truly my best friend, and you are one of the best things that’s happened in my life.” His voice started to scratch a bit as more tears came down his cheeks. I couldn’t see Gerald in the crowd, but I bet his eyes were full of tears as well. Luckily I haven’t cracked yet.

“Finally, I wanna talk about someone special to me. Not just Gerald, but someone I’ve also known since preschool. This person is someone near and dear to my heart, and I’ve been going out with her since freshman year.”

Okay now it’s time to crack.

“Helga Pataki. Now I know some of you were shocked that she and I got together, and some of you weren’t. Either way, you shouldn’t judge people for who they like. The more Helga and I spent time together, the more I got to know her better, and I kind of fell for her. I’m not embarrassed about what I’m talking about right now, if you’re all wondering. I love Helga with all my heart, and I would do anything for her. And I know she would do anything for me. Her and I have definitely had a lot of ups and downs. Of course if any of you knew us since fourth grade, you’d know. Her and I have definitely been through a lot in the past, and I’m really hoping for a wonderful future for the both of us. Being together with her all through high school was the greatest thing I could’ve ever hoped for. I’ve liked since the seventh grade, I’ve loved her since ninth grade. It’s crazy to say you love someone, but I truly do love her. She’s the best thing to ever come in my life. Ah, sorry. I’m getting super emotional again. But how I want to end this speech is by saying this… Helga G. Pataki. You are so amazing and wonderful and I’m so glad you came into my life. I love you so much. You mean the world to me.”

He was crying at that point as everyone cheered loudly for him. I couldn’t help but run out of my seat and get onto the stage, grabbing his beautiful football shaped head, and kissing him in front of everyone, which made the crowd go even more wild for some reason. I couldn’t just sit there crying my eyes out without doing something. If he was going to do some sappy speech like that about me, then I was going to do this every time he did it.

After I broke apart from the kiss, I saw his face blushing red, his ears as well. When I looked into his eyes, I couldn’t help but say, “I love you too, Arnold. To the moon and back,” and we kissed once again.

6:03pm

“OH MY GOODNESS! HELGA FINALLY GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL! I THOUGHT I’D NEVER SEE THE DAY COME!”

Olga was practically yelling in my ear as she also cried in my ear. It was annoying as hell. There’s no but to this. It was seriously annoying as hell. Both her and Hailey were giving me hugs, and I didn’t find Hailey’s hug annoying because she barely spoke. She’s been less talkative ever since mom and Matthew got married. It’s kind of strange, but I can kind of relate to her. If I could not talk to people I didn’t wanna talk to, which was most people, I would do the same thing.

Oscar weirdly tried to give me a hug but Olga shoved him off and continued crying on my shoulder. She’s always been the emotional one, Hailey is now the quiet one, and me? I’m the fashion one. Meaning I wear the absolutely best clothes. People have asked me if I’m gay because of the shit I wear, but I don’t have to be gay for the shit I wanna wear. Plus half the t-shirts I wear are Arnold’s anyways.

“Olga can you please stop getting my shoulder all wet?” I asked her annoyingly.

She sniffled dramatically, wiping the tears out of her eyes. “I-I’m sorry, Helga. It’s just that I’m so proud of all that you accomplished for you to be able to graduate.”

That for some reason made me think of Arnold and I making out in our bedroom. Which led me to smirk, giggling a bit. “Yeahhhh I’ve accomplished a lot.” I looked over at Arnold and it was like he knew exactly what he was thinking, because he blushed hard and walked off for a few minutes, going to find our friends.

“Okay everyone! We need pictures. Once Arnold finds everyone he’s looking for, we need to lean up against the wall.” Miriam yelled with a camera in her hand.

“Mom, why don’t we take the pictures while we wait?” I suggested it to her.

“Oh, duh! Good idea, Helga! Matthew! Come here!”

“Just a simple suggestion, but whatever.” I said to myself.

The first photo that was taken was of me, mom, Matthew, Hailey and Olga. Stella was the one who took the ones of my family. The second one was just of me, Olga and Hailey. We all smiled nicely while trying not to get blinded by the flash. The third one was of me, mom and Matthew. Stella had a tendency to take really nice photos. She always took some of Arnold, no matter what he was doing. Speaking of Arnold, he came back with all our friends just in time for our group photo that will come up shortly.

The fourth photo was of me and Arnold standing under the sign that said “Class of 2009”. The fifth one was us again, but standing under a tree that both of us were always fond of, and kissing. We weren’t embarrassed to kiss in front of our parents at this point. We got used to it after a year of dating.

Arnold got pictures with everyone that lived in the boarding house, including us. Then everyone in the boarding house without us. Then just him, his parents, and Phil. Then just him and his parents. Then just him and Phil. Then the last one with him and all the borders, without blood-related members.

And finally, we got our group photo with our whole friend group. Fifteen families gathered all here just to take a photo of all of us. I don’t blame them, we’ve all known each other since preschool (other than Lila), and this was truly a great day to be gathered here to take a memorable photo.

We took two types of photos. The first one was of us just smiling normally. Eight of us—the taller ones—up against the wall, while standing behind the seven who were shorter. It was funny to see who was the shortest out of the fifteen of us, and I wasn’t even surprised that it was Eugene.

The second one, I think you can guess this one. The second one was us just doing the dumbest faces and being goofy and shit. I think Harold flipped everyone off, Stinky and Sid were laughing their asses off. Curly was trying to kiss Rhonda, but she was in the middle of punching Curly. Sheena and Nadine were sticking their tongues out while pulling the skin underneath of their eyes. I hope people know what I mean by that. I did the same thing, flipping people off I mean, and Arnold kind of shoved me jokingly while he was laughing. Eugene was in the middle of falling down in the picture. Iggy was “looking cool” in the picture. Brainy looked creepy as hell in the picture. And finally, Phoebe, Gerald, and Lila all just made goofy faces.

The two photos were able to be made into copies and were sent out to everyone in our friend group. I was gonna remember this moment for a very long time. Now that all our friends had plans after high school, I knew it’d be hard to get us back together since half of us will be in different states. But we’ll have these memories in our hearts.

THE END