Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You pulled your hand out from inside your pajama shorts with a deep groan of frustration. Staring off at the ceiling, you lamented the state of your love life: absolutely nonexistent. Hell, looking for love was a stretch at this point. You would settle for a handsome nobody just to ease the ache between your legs. How long had it been since the last time? Your sorry little hands just couldn’t do the same things a man could do to you.

Rolling over on your side, you glanced at the clock on your nightstand. 1:18. It was late for you, but your frustration kept you wide awake. Reaching over lazily, you plucked up your phone. The flash of the too-bright screen made you wince as you fumbled to unlock it. After a long moment of hesitation, you opened the app store and searched for a dating app. You cringed internally as you perused your options, hating yourself for even considering them. It’s not like you didn’t meet people in person. Plenty of guys had made you offers. For one reason or another, though, you never quite found it in you to accept.

You needed a hookup, you decided. Someone random. Someone who would scratch the itch, and, if things went poorly, you would never have to face again. That’s right. Just one good night. With that, you steeled your nerves and pressed the download button. You took your time flipping through your photos to choose your best pictures; not too raunchy but still enough to show off your finer assets. Hopefully, they would entice a few good-looking guys to try their luck. You typed a few generic lines about yourself before completing your profile and officially entering the dating pool.

As you swiped through your options, you slowly began to regret your choice. Why the hell did you do this? Not a single person had caught your eye.

Douche, you thought, sneering at some generic frat boy. Gross. No. You grumbled as you found something wrong with each and every prospect. Swipe, swipe, swipe. You finally paused on one handsome brunette’s profile. Eren. He’s cute. He was plenty tall, and probably hung, your lesser self decided. He looks like he could do the job. You admired his striking green eyes and swirling tattoos. Unfortunately, the third photo on his profile showed him beaming at the camera with a massive bong in hand, clearly stoned out of his mind. You laughed at the ridiculous photo but ultimately decided that he wasn’t for you. Next.

You continued to swipe, growing more and more impatient as you failed to find a single guy worth knocking boots with. That is, until you almost swiped past a real life angel. This must've been the most beautiful man you’d ever seen in your life. Your heart dropped into your stomach as you took a closer look at his profile.

Levi.

Now that’s a sexy fucking name. A name fit for an actor, or model. Certainly not a... math teacher, according to his profile. You groaned, feeling jealous of all the stupid brats who got to sit in his class all day, staring at his beautiful face. His chiseled jawline, his gleaming black hair, his tired grey eyes. God, that gloomy scowl touched something primal in you. Even in the one photo where he’d tried to smile, he still looked tired, and you loved it. His tight-fitting shirt in another picture hinted at a well-built physique underneath. You began to imagine just what he might do to you if you played your cards right.

Taking one deep breath, you swiped right and quickly tossed your phone aside in a fit of panic. It felt silly getting so worked up over some stranger online. You hadn’t even spoken to him yet. You might not even get to if he didn’t like you back. But you couldn't help it. The minutes ticked by as you fidgeted in bed and tried to ignore your phone. When it finally buzzed, your heart nearly leapt out of your chest. After a moment, you flipped it over and worked up the nerve to tap on the screen. You were crestfallen to see that it was just some administrative email from your school. Sulking now, you went to open the email when your phone buzzed again. This time, it was a notification from the app: you and Levi had matched!

Adrenaline rushed through your veins as you quickly entered the app and found the chat now open between the two of you.  At the bottom, three little words teased: "Levi is typing..." . Your heart pounded furiously while you stared at those three bouncing dots.

Good morning, gorgeous.

His first message already had you blushing. Well, this is a good start.

Hey there :)

What are you doing up so late?

You scoffed at the question. Rather obvious, you thought, what you’re doing up. But you decided to humor him anyways and answered boldly.

Looking for a little fun.

Your cheeks flushed deeper as you grappled with the nerves of being so forward. You really weren’t used to flirting with people like this, but this was where your desperation had taken you. His reply came quickly and you felt relieved to see him match your playful tone.

Yeah? I look like fun to you?

A lot of fun, I hope.

Damn right.

He was cocky, but you liked it. Looking through his photos again, you got the feeling it was warranted. Riding the high of your little flirtation, you thought for a moment on how you could spur it on.

So… is it just math? Or is there anything else you can teach me, Mr. Levi?

The line felt awkward even as you typed it, but he answered again before you could dwell on how lame you must've sounded.

Professor Levi.

Oh. Professor? Your mind drifted to scenes out of some cheap porno, starring you and your new match. You thought of him bending you over his desk to punish you for some inane transgression. Or maybe you could get on your knees and beg him to raise your grade. You would do anything for an 'A'. You didn’t have a thing for teachers, per se, but you certainly had a thing for this one. Excited, you started typing again.

Well, sorry Professor. My question still stands.

I can teach you lots of things, pretty girl. We can start with how to properly ride a man's face. 

As you read his brash words, your heart thumped even faster than before. He was hot, and you weren’t about to waste your golden opportunity. You hurried to type your next reply.

Well how can a girl say no to that? I think I’d like a lesson.

How about Friday night? My place, 8 o'clock.

Yes, Professor.

He responded to your cheeky message with his phone number, home address, and a warning not to be late. You grinned stupidly as you tried to wrap your mind around what just happened. You were finally getting laid! And the man was so attractive that you weren't entirely sure he was real. The "lesson" he had offered you would fill your fantasies for days to come. It was only the early hours of Monday now, and you had a long, long week ahead of you. You couldn't wait to meet the man in person.

Right as you began to put your phone away, it lit up with a new message from Levi. Opening it up, you found a picture of him shirtless, in his bed, wearing skin-tight boxer briefs and palming his crotch. Your mouth watered as you took in everything he offered you: his broad shoulders, his beautiful chest, his chiseled abs, his sharp v-line, and his thick, muscular thighs. You finally focused on the centerpiece and gaped at the size of the outline beneath his hand. It looked big. Holy shit. You had certainly made the right choice tonight. Along with the picture came his final words: “see you soon.”

Not nearly soon enough, you thought. You decided to pull your shirt up and take your own photo.

You tugged the fabric just far enough to display the entire underside of your breasts without revealing everything, then squished them together a bit so your cleavage looked truly lush. You positioned the camera to capture the curves of your waist and hips as well, then snapped the photo. You quickly wrote, “can’t wait”, and sent it off along with your own cell number. With that, you finally placed your phone on your nightstand and let sleep take you. That night, you dreamt of a beautiful dark-haired man taking you from behind, pushing your head deep into the sheets.

Chapter Text

The anticipation was eating you alive. No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t stop replaying last night’s conversation in your mind. In more than one moment of weakness, you had even pulled up his photo and admired the contents. You were doing it again now. Who could really blame you though? You couldn't imagine finding a hotter man to take care of your little issue. Rubbing your weary eyes, you stood up from the table where you had eaten your lunch (and drooled over your phone). It was just about time for your next class.

You were in your third year at Paradis University, working your way through the prestigious biochemistry program. Years of diligent study had paid off in the form of a full ride scholarship. Of course, your scholarship was only paid out if you maintained excellent grades. Thus, caffeine-fueled all nighters at the library had become a routine part of your life. You supposed that your success in school was the biggest culprit preventing you from having any kind of personal life. You were just too damn busy to bother.

Not now, you thought. Now was the perfect window of time. Your summer internship was over. The fall semester was just starting and you didn’t have any assignments yet. Finally, a chance to have a little fun. Or a lot of fun, if Levi was true to his word. 

Reaching the building now, you trudged up the steps to your classroom. 139-A. You double and triple-checked your class listings to make sure you were in the right place. When you were finally convinced this was it, you pulled open the door and entered.

You buried your wayward fantasies now as you walked down the aisle and made your way towards the front of the auditorium. In the spring semester, you had taken Differential Equations with Dr. Pixis and quickly became one of his favorite students. He’d practically begged you to be a TA for him in the fall, and you had graciously accepted the opportunity to fluff up your resume. Now, you opted for a seat in the front of the room by the teacher’s desk, hoping he could easily spot you when he came in.

The sight of a door opening caught your eye, but you ignored the movement in favor of opening your texts with Levi. Smiling to yourself, you pondered what to write to him. You began typing some flirtatious nonsense while a man headed towards the podium in your periphery. You figured now that it must be Dr. Pixis, and hurried to finish your message.

A deep, gruff voice began the introduction.

“Good afternoon class, my name is Dr. Ackerman.”

Finally pressing send, you looked up to acknowledge the speaker.

The sight brought your pulse to a grinding halt.

No. This wasn’t right, right? You were certain you’d entered the correct classroom. How many times did you check? Your thoughts spiraled into panic as you took in the dark, silken hair on the man standing at the podium. Your eyes traced his sharp nose and equally carved jawline. Finally, they settled on striking grey eyes, sullen from what looked to be a chronic lack of sleep. This was certainly not your professor.

“I’m sure you were looking forward to taking this class with Dr. Pixis, but he has taken an emergency leave of absence and the university asked me to fill in for him. I hope I will suffice,” he quipped dryly. A few students let out awkward chuckles but the room quickly returned to suffocating silence. 

When your heart finally managed to start working again, it pounded uncontrollably. Surely this was a mistake. You knew that Levi taught math, and you supposed he’d also mentioned a doctorate title. Sadly, you were too giddy at the time to give any of it a second thought. Either way, you had enrolled with Dr. Shadis! This wasn’t supposed to be happening. You didn’t even know Levi taught at this school.

Your stomach churned with nausea. You should’ve left. You should’ve packed your things and left this classroom, now.

Just then, you heard Levi's phone buzz quietly in his pocket. Your throat burned with humiliation when you realized he’d just received your very own message. Sinking further into your seat, you shut your eyes and prayed he wouldn’t notice you.

When you finally opened them again, however, you found Levi staring straight back at you. Every muscle in his face was completely frozen into stone, his expression unreadable. You wondered what emotions swam in those piercing eyes. Anger? Confusion? Disgust?

He lingered on you for one more excruciating moment before he peeled his gaze away and continued his address.

///

As the lecture dragged on, your dread mounted. With every glance at the clock, your anxiety climbed higher and your courage sank lower. You had to talk to him, didn’t you? It would be wrong to leave this unaddressed. How could you leave this unaddressed?

Bile rose in your throat at the pure shame of this situation. You could pretend it never happened, right? You just had to be professional. Just apologize for it and duck your head down for the rest of the semester. To your relief, he hadn’t looked back your way a second time. You imagined he was also trying to keep up appearances until you could speak in private.

Maybe you could still switch classes and work for someone else.

Or under someone else. 

You couldn't help but let your mind wander to the night before. Levi was, admittedly, even more beautiful in person. But whatever you could have had was dead in the water. Your conscience got the best of you now and you settled on your choice to clear the air. At the very least, you wanted to dissipate the awkwardness.

When class finally came to an end, you took a long time gathering your belongings. Glancing around nervously, you stalled for time while the crowd shuffled out of the room. You only zipped your bag after the last few stragglers had left. You waited patiently behind as another student asked Levi some questions about the syllabus. Finally, they walked out, leaving you all alone with Levi.

You stood in front of his desk in deep silence. You stared down at the floor, hoping to find the right words to say hidden somewhere within the ratty carpet. Realizing you'd have no such luck, you slowly looked up to address him directly.

“Yes?” he began before you could. His question caught you off guard. He was typing something on his laptop, hardly sparing you a glance. Any thoughts you had managed to form swiftly escaped your head.

“Um…” you mumbled dumbly. “I’m… I’m sorry. I don’t know how…” You were fumbling, and feeling more self-conscious by the second. The humiliation only made it harder for you to continue.

“What?” he prompted, a faint note of aggravation coloring his voice this time. He continued typing away.

Your cheeks flushed from the shame of having to push this embarrassing conversation. Still, you began again, growing frustrated with his lack of attention. 

“Levi.”

At the mention of his name, he finally looked up at you.

“What?” he repeated, scowling now.

“What do you mean what?” you seethed. What was he playing at? Did he seriously not recognize you, or was he playing dumb?

“I mean, ‘what?’,” he said, staring back at you with a look that demanded to know whether you were stupid. At his reaction, a switch flipped in your brain, and all the built up embarrassment burst into indignant flames.

“What the hell, ‘what?’, Levi! What do you think?” you barked, patience completely spent. “I’m in your class asshole! What are we supposed to do?”

Your voice had raised a bit in your outburst, but you didn’t care anymore. This interaction was growing more and more painful with every passing second.

Levi's gaze turned icy now when fixed it on you, his mouth curled in a look of pure disdain. His voice, however, was frighteningly level when he began.

“First, there is no we. Only you. And what you choose to do about your enrollment is not my problem. Second, you address me as Dr. Ackerman, or Professor, because I am your teacher and nothing else. Don’t think you can walk in here and take liberties with my title just because you have some false notion of familiarity with me.”

You gaped in pure disbelief at his words. Some false notion of familiarity. He truly meant to deny everything that happened last night. As if you had made it all up. As if you were some deluded student harassing her innocent professor. As if he hadn’t come on to you! You felt sick to your stomach. While you fumed, his tirade only continued.

“Third, you’d better watch your filthy fucking mouth before I write you up for more than just sexual misconduct.”

Now you’d really heard enough.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” you spat back, cutting him off from whatever bullshit he planned to say next. “That is rich coming from you. My filthy mouth?” you cackled, blood now well and truly boiling. “Need I remind you, Professor, you didn’t have any problem sending me half nake-”

“That’s enough!” he shouted over you, shooting up from his chair and stalking around his desk to loom directly in front of you. He really wasn’t tall, you noted, but the strength of his presence alone beckoned you to kneel before him and beg for his forgiveness. You entertained the urge no longer than it took for him to spit out his next scathing remark. “Don’t. Say. Another. Word,” he threatened, nearly whispering now.

His angry breath was hot against your face, and you grew nervous from the sudden proximity. You ignored that feeling as much as you could. There was no way you could back down now. Staring directly into his steely eyes, you leveled him with the coldest, most scornful look you could possibly muster. Up close though, those eyes were just beautiful. Pallid shades of blue and grey danced together like a furious blizzard, powerful and destructive, and cutting through your psyche with each icy flake. It was hard to focus on the situation at hand.

But you bitterly remembered why you were here. Looks be damned, he was a raging prick. You felt sorry that this stunning face was so utterly wasted on the rotten man it fell to.

“You need to leave,” he said, panting.

You hadn’t noticed how worked up he was before this. Maybe it wasn't just you.

“Seeing as how the session just started, you can either continue in this section, or you can drop the class and try again next semester. Should you choose to stay, I will do you the courtesy of forgetting the exchange we’ve had today so long as you can find it within yourself to act like a fucking adult,” he offered, as if you were the one being ridiculous.

Every callous word he spoke felt like a stomp of his shiny dress shoe, smashing your tattered ego further and further into the ground. He’d successfully berated you into silence. Tears of shame threatened to well up, but you sucked in a deep breath to force them back down where they belonged.

“Are we clear?” he asked, finally letting up.

You felt so small before him now. You kept glaring at him in a pitiful attempt to hide your feelings, but you knew he was right. You could never be anything more than student and teacher. Not that you wanted anything from him anymore. But why did he have to be such an asshole about it? Why couldn’t he have said, “Look, I can’t believe our luck. Let’s please just move forward and forget about what happened between us. It’s really unfortunate but I have to be professional here and we both know the consequences of continuing otherwise. If you’re uncomfortable you can always leave. Otherwise, I’m happy to have you in my class.”

Instead, he startled you out of your wishful daydream with a final crude demand.

“Go. Get the fuck out.”

And with that, he rounded the desk and plopped back down in his chair, dismissing you without another glance.

“Fuck you,” you mumbled under your breath, refusing to give him the last word.

Your hands were shaking at your sides now. You felt like screaming. You couldn’t believe how horribly this went. Dragging your feet towards the exit, you thought about everything that transpired between you. Suddenly, last night’s events felt tainted. Looking back at your horny little dalliance only filled you with disgust now. You wondered what you could do now to snatch back any little shred of the dignity he had stolen from you.

Leaving was out of the question. If you dropped the class, you would be letting him win without even putting up a fight. Not only that, but you would lose the beautiful mark on your resume and the stipend that came with the position. Wait… shit. Your position!

As soon as you had seen Levi’s face during lecture, you had forgotten a key detail in your enrollment: you weren’t just a student in his class, you were his teaching assistant! You groaned internally as you realized what fresh form of hell awaited you. Judging by the conversation that just happened, it would be bad. With any luck though, you figured you could make it hell for him too.

The scheme slowly started to form in your head. Maybe your predicament wasn’t so bad after all. And for all you knew, Dr. Pixis could come back next week. You clung fiercely to that sliver of hope. Yes, Levi will be gone before you know it!

In the meantime, you would make Levi regret every nasty word he spoke to you. How? Well… you weren’t sure yet. He clearly held the power, and your academic record, in hand. You had to be careful not to draw out undue punishment. Still, as long as you could keep your misbehavior just shy of rule-breaking, you could be a thorn in his side for as long as he taught the class. Your previous distress settled into a vague feeling of superiority.

You turned around, now, boldly walking back up to his desk. To your surprise, he actually looked at you without prompting this time. He glared at you as if to ask, “What the fuck could you possibly want now?”. You held his gaze unphased, though, and spoke with pure smugness in your voice.

“Sorry Professor, one more thing,” you began.

It felt so good to look down on him from this angle. You laughed internally as you thought about how rarely he must get the pleasure of looking down at anyone at that height.

"I’m actually not a student. I’m your TA,” you revealed, beaming with false kindness.

You watched carefully as he processed the bombshell you had dropped. But much to your chagrin, he did not anger. No, those gorgeous lips slowly curled into a grin. Eyes lighting up and smile pulling wide, he just stared back at you. A picture of pure malice.

“Of course you are."

Your own smile faltered as you took in his reaction. He looked downright psychotic. You could almost see the gears turning, thinking of all the ways he could torment you. Whatever shoddy feeling of comfort you had conjured up crumbled like dust in your hands. Instinct told you that your attempt to gain the upper hand had only laid you down at his feet instead.

“Looking forward,” he added pleasantly. He regarded you a moment longer before turning back to his work in silent dismissal.

You felt your stomach sink right through the floor. 

With that, you turned around and finally left the classroom, head hung low. What a miserable day.

Chapter Text

The following day, as you were getting ready to leave home, your mind wandered back to Levi. Two hours of cyberstalking him last night had gotten you absolutely nowhere. All you’d learned was that he was 34, had a squeaky-clean record, and was infuriatingly successful in his field. Like, already tenured, prolifically published, titled and awarded, successful. You had hoped to find anything embarrassing, any bit of personal information you could use to your advantage. The search was fruitless.

No matter. You still knew one thing about him: he was very much attracted to you. That tiny scrap of knowledge was your weapon.

Digging through your closet, you found the cutest little pleated skirt you owned. On top, you donned a lacy bralette and a beautiful knit sweater with a v-neck just low enough to tease what lay underneath. You paired the outfit with dark tights and a spritz of your most sultry perfume. Your makeup was subtle and lovely. Every bit of your appearance was ravishing, but without looking like you tried too hard. After all, if Levi thought you were making some desperate ploy to seduce him, your whole plot would fall apart. With one final look in the mirror, you left the house, determined to ruin that asshole’s day.

///

The task turned out to be much harder than you’d hoped.

He seemed wholly unsurprised to see you back in his classroom. When you walked in, you made a show of strutting to the very front row. You plopped yourself down in a seat right in front of where he stood, taunting him. He only regarded you with the faintest smirk on his lips. If you didn't know any better, you'd say he almost looked pleased to see you rise to the challenge. Damn that smug bastard. You only glared back at him, trying not to be too obvious in case anyone else looked over.

Things took a turn for the worse when he began his lecture. Listening to him talk about theorems and formulas, you damn near forgot your entire vendetta. His rich, husky voice, his incredible expertise, his commanding presence; every part of him was downright bewitching. Looking around the room, you noticed that you weren’t the only one falling under his spell. Students, male and female alike, sat on the edge of their seats, clinging to his every word like gospel. You hated to admit it, but he was good.

Your heart nearly beat out of your chest when you turned back to find him staring directly at you. You squirmed in your seat, shrinking further into the cushion in a pitiful attempt to escape his attention. The weight of his gaze felt crushing. You couldn’t breathe even if you wanted to.

In this moment, you were nothing more than a rabbit looking up at a wolf. Your lips parted stupidly, and your cheeks felt uncomfortably hot. All you could do was listen while he continued to talk, utterly enraptured. You imagined that this lecture was just for you, the rest of the class falling away. Pinned under his watch, it was easy to forget that there was anyone else in the room.

And then, just like that, he looked away and the moment was over.

What the hell? You screwed your eyes shut and took a deep breath. Doused with the icy water of reason, you finally collected yourself. Attractive or not, he was an absolute dick to you yesterday. You had to stay focused. You were here to get even, not gawk over him and his stupid lecture. 

You straightened in your seat and decided to spend the rest of class on your phone, hoping to annoy him. Or maybe you were just afraid to look up again. At one point, you caught him from the corner of your eye, frowning at you and subtly clearing his throat. You smiled to yourself and continued to ignore him. After all, you weren’t here as a student, were you? You had no real obligation to pay attention.

After class ended and the students filed out, he walked over and stood directly in front of you. He waited in silence for a long moment until you finally deigned to put your phone away and acknowledge him. When you looked up, you were disappointed to find him staring at you with a blank expression. You’d hoped he would at least be a little ticked off. Oh well.

“Ready?” You beamed, as if you weren't the one keeping him waiting.

“Are you?” he answered blandly. Damn. Still no bite.

“Yup!”

With that, you popped up out of your seat and grabbed your bag, heading to his office with him. As you walked side by side, you steeled yourself for your mission. Find dirt. Piss him off. Do not ogle him.

“Read anything interesting today?” he asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Huh?” Was he seriously trying to make small talk?

“Seeing as how you were fucking around on your phone for the last 40 minutes, I figured you must have found something better than the lecture. So tell me, what was so interesting?”

Oh. So he was mad about that. You latched onto your chance immediately.

“You know I’ve already passed this class right? I don’t have to listen to you ramble about slope fields to do my job.”

He scoffed, clearly taking offense.

“I suppose you don’t, but even a brat like you should know not to sit in the very front row of a class if you want to text your little friends the whole time. It’s fucking rude.” 

“Oh? It’s rude? Rude like you were-” you began pointing out, but the words died in your throat when you looked over and saw the scathing expression on his face.

Don’t you fucking dare, it warned. You chewed your cheek in indignation, not willing to push it any further until you had some privacy. Luckily, you didn’t have to walk much longer until he stopped in front of some door and unlocked it. Levi Ackerman, Ph.D., read the silver plaque.

You followed him into the room and took in your new surroundings. In the center was a big, polished desk with neat stacks of papers and carefully arranged office supplies. You quickly noticed that the organization extended to the entire room; the furniture was sleek, the decor was minimal, and everything was arranged to be aesthetically pleasing. You filed away “neat freak” in your mental notes about Levi.

You stood still and watched as he walked around his desk and sat in his chair. He was clearly waiting for you to do the same. You refused.

“Before we start, I want to make something very clear,” you began, continuing your interrupted conversation.

He only raised an eyebrow in response.

“You don’t get to tell me anything about being rude after the way you acted yesterday! What the hell was that?”

“Are you really that bitter about getting rejected?” he jeered, looking at you with smug disdain. You wanted to slap that stupid look right off his beautiful face.

“Rejected? Rejected! ” you cackled. The audacity of this bastard. “You think I care whether you fuck me or not? Are you insane? I’m mad because you couldn’t just say, ‘Hey! Wow, this is awkward! Can we please pretend this never happened?’, you know, like a normal person! No, you actually threatened to write me up! And for what? You think I asked to be in your class?”

You were huffing now.

All the while, Levi just smirked back at you. A faint look of amusement danced across his face, like he was watching some spoiled child throwing a tantrum. God, he was insufferable. Every time you tried to stand up to him, he beat you down without even trying.

“Did you get your feelings off your chest?” he asked, his voice dripping with condescension.

“Man, fuck you!” you spat before you could stop yourself. “What the hell is your problem?”

His eyes twinkled with some emotion you couldn’t read. Somewhere in the back of your mind, a tiny voice of sanity begged you to stop. You were probably taking this way too far. And if your limited experience was any indication, he would surely make you regret it.

“My problem,” he began coolly, “is that I have spent years working my ass off to get to where I am today. If you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty damn good at what I do. And do you know what happens if I get caught so much as looking at a student the wrong way? Everything I’ve built disappears like that,” he said, snapping his fingers. “My problem is that every second I spend talking to you about this, is a chance for someone to overhear and report me for misconduct. As a matter of fact, you could even do it yourself, if you really wanted to spite me. You still have the evidence, don’t you? Everything I’ve ever worked for, in the hands of a spoiled fucking brat who thinks it’s funny to come to my class like she doesn’t know who I am.”

At some point during his verbal lashing, Levi had stood up and pressed his hands down on the desk, leaning forward, dangerously close to your face. His eyes blazed with unrestrained ire, burning you down just as fiercely as his cruel words. It felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. The tension was palpable, but not in a good way. At this point, you were probably one wrong move away from getting strangled. You scrambled to collect your thoughts and process everything he’d said to you.

Every sentence out of his mouth had left you feeling more and more stupid. You were too busy sulking over your own hurt feelings to ever consider the situation from his perspective. He was probably scared shitless that you would tank his career. His threats were just a desperate attempt for him to win back some control. Even if your meeting was an innocent mistake, you supposed you could have spun a different story to make him look bad.

Guilty tears pricked at your eyes. How could you be so selfish? But… wait a minute. Did he really think you came to his class on purpose?

“I- I didn’t know, I swear,” you mumbled dumbly. You didn’t know what else to even say at that moment.

He only scowled at you suspiciously.

“You mean to tell me that you didn’t read the announcement sent out to the entire class, stating that I was taking over?”

“No! Of course not, I-” you wracked your brain for any memory of such an email. You always checked school-related correspondence!

Then it hit you. The other night-- you gasped and pulled out your phone. You were in the middle of opening an email when Levi first messaged you. Obviously, you had forgotten all about it and gone to sleep.

You dug through your inbox, looking for something received on Monday morning. Sure enough, there it was. The subject line read: “IMPORTANT: STAFF CHANGE FOR MAT240”. Growing shock brought your hand to your mouth as you continued reading. Dr. Levi Ackerman will be taking over the class.

Finally looking up at Levi, you were met with his utter contempt. You felt so dumb. He must’ve thought you recognized his name and came to his class hoping to seduce him despite the rules. Oh, god. You literally did today. Your cheeks burned as your shameful little secret humbled you even further.

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t know. I didn’t read this email. I got it right before we- well, when you. Um. I never went back and read it.” You winced as you stumbled over your words, but you prayed he could see the truth in your eyes.

“Ah.”

Yes. Ah. You wanted to shrivel up and die. Your heart was pounding so hard with embarrassment.

He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, still frowning. You became acutely aware of the distance between you now. His body language mirrored the emotional ravine you had opened up. You didn’t know how to close it.

Why did you even want to close it? You felt an inexplicable urge to win his approval. He had called you a spoiled brat, and you hated that. You needed to prove him wrong. You were brilliant, you worked harder than anyone, dammit. You of all people could appreciate everything that went into his success. Yet, here you were, endangering all of his achievements for a petty feud.

“Look, I’m not going to tell anyone. I swear. Not a word. Obviously, it was an innocent mistake and will never happen again. That said, I still want to keep the TA position.” 

He regarded you wearily. Your heart raced faster now; you were truly on the spot. But you were determined to win him over. 

“I’m really not the person you think I am. I’m here on a full ride, okay? I work hard too, and I really need this position for my resume. Hopefully Dr. Pixis comes back soon and you’ll never have to speak to me again. But until then, I’m sorry, I’m staying.” You pressed your lips together firmly and let out a shaky breath, willing him to accept your plea.

The silence between you stretched on for ages. You shut your eyes, terrified to hear his next rebuttal. To him, you were probably nothing but a liability at this point. He hated you for ruin-

“Alright.”

You looked up in surprise, waiting for him to reveal the joke or berate you some more. But he didn’t say another word. You searched his face, desperate to read any emotion you could find. He looked so tired, you thought. Something in his eyes hinted at a sense of bitter defeat. He obviously didn’t trust you one bit. You didn’t know why that cut your heart so deeply.

The longer you stared, the more you began to admire him. You really couldn’t help yourself. Even in this frigid state, he was gorgeous. His hair fell around his eyes so perfectly. You wanted to reach out and run your fingers through it.

It was such a damn shame how things had played out between you. You thought about everything that could have happened on Friday. He was so beautiful, so intelligent, so captivating. One night probably wouldn’t have been enough for you. In another life…

But you were stuck in this one. So in this one, you gave him a timid nod before you picked up your backpack and excused yourself, then walked straight home without stopping. And when you finally got to your room, you threw yourself in bed and cried.

Chapter Text

Making peace with Levi was a blunder you would never recover from.

Without that short-lived wall of hatred standing between you anymore, there was nothing left to stop you from falling for him. You really didn’t mean to do it. You knew it was completely inappropriate, and dangerous, and so damn stupid. One wrong move could spell the end of both of your careers. Wanting him was nothing short of reckless idiocy. But with every passing day, he burrowed deeper and deeper into your mind.

It started slowly at first. You decided to actually pay attention to his lectures. If you were going to help his students, it wouldn’t hurt to refresh your knowledge, right? But listening to him also meant watching him. 

And the sight of him was devastating. 

Every day, he wore crisp black dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up just a few inches. The color was such a mouth-watering contrast to his smooth porcelain skin. The fabric hugged every muscle so sensually. It teased at the outline of sculpted biceps and broad shoulders without revealing a single detail. That only made you desperate to see more.

Every time he turned his eyes to you, your heart lurched into your throat. His gaze was so intense. If you hadn’t been watching him so closely, you might have written it off as a part of his personality. But it was only when he looked at you that his eyes narrowed like that. It was only you that he lingered on as if it took a conscious effort to look away. Every time you locked eyes with him, the thrill of it shot sparks of lightning down your spine.

Maybe you were reading into something that didn’t exist. Maybe it was wishful thinking. Crushes made people act delusional. It shouldn’t even be a crush in the first place, you reminded yourself. He was completely off-limits.  

The signs were harder to ignore, though, when it was just the two of you together. Now that he wasn’t tearing you to shreds every time you saw him, his company was actually bearable. You might even call it pleasant.

You had come to learn that Levi was incredibly reserved. He refused to make small talk about anything. But when it came to math, it was like a switch flipped. You could talk freely for hours. And he listened so attentively. He never once broke eye contact. When you asked him questions, he made sure you were fully satisfied with his answers before moving on. He never dismissed you or forced you to figure it out yourself. Maybe that was just the mark of a good teacher, but he made you feel like he cared. 

He also showed a remarkable amount of respect for your intelligence. When it came to grading papers, he trusted your judgement completely. Any time students emailed you for help, he allowed you to set policies and give extensions however you saw fit. You had absolute freedom in your job. When you pressed him for an explanation once, he only said that “you were obviously capable of handling it” so he didn't need to intervene. You hated how much that little comment affected you.

He probably didn’t even mean it as a compliment, but you still rode that high for the rest of the day. After all, you had learned that Levi praising anyone was exceptionally rare. On the other hand, he dished out criticism like it was candy.

Levi had no problem berating students for falling asleep in class. If someone’s phone rang, he would kick them out for the rest of the day. He often made a public example of shoddy homework. He would literally call out the poor student by name before pointing out every single thing they did wrong. He was brutal, and he never held back for anyone. Not even fellow faculty members.

Seeing how cold he was, it made you feel unreasonably special that he was more or less polite to you. On rare occasions, you could even get him to crack a reluctant smile at your jokes. You clung to those moments like little treasures.

///

It was Friday now, three weeks into the semester. After Levi’s class, you made a quick stop at the campus coffee shop. That was your first mistake. As luck would have it, the clouds that loomed all morning finally decided to let loose. In an instant, sheets of rain came pouring down. Angry winds kicked up and howled all around you. They sent the rain flying nearly sideways. It was like the sky was mocking you for thinking your sorry little umbrella could save you. At some point, you gave up the fight and just stuffed it in your backpack. Then, you ran as fast as your legs would take you back to Levi’s office. 

When he caught sight of you walking through the door, all he could do was stare. 

The intensity of his gaze froze you in front of his desk like a statue. His eyes slowly raked over your body, tracing every single inch of you. He looked horrified. Your heart pounded under his scrutiny. You realized that your top clung obscenely to every curve of your waist and chest, and you were fairly sure your bra was showing through the thin, wet fabric.

When he finally looked into your eyes, you chewed your lip in shameful silence.

“You’re soaking wet.”

“It’s raining,” you offered dumbly.

He blinked at you slowly, before finally clicking his tongue and standing up. He walked around his desk to the sleek cushioned seat where his bag was perched. He rummaged through it for a moment until he pulled out a folded sweater. Then, he walked right back over to stand in front of you.

“Take it,” he said, holding out the sweater with one hand.

“You really don’t have to give me that,” you pleaded nervously.

“Yes I do.”

He lifted his arm closer to your face, silently insisting that you take it. You searched his eyes for reassurance. He sensed your hesitation.

“Don’t be stupid. Take the damn sweater. Do you want to get sick?” 

He said it coolly, factually. Even still, you preened at the thought that he might actually care about your well-being. 

You plucked it out of his hand and held it up so that it fell open. It was a thick, knit crewneck. Black, like damn near every other item he owned. It looked so warm. You held it close to your chest and smiled brightly.

“Thank you, Levi.”

“Don’t,” he said dismissively. With that, he turned around and crossed his arms.

Oh. Oh. He was letting you change in front of him.

You didn’t move for a long moment. Was this even appropriate? Not that he was looking, but… stripping down? In front of your professor? Your pulse raced.

The tapping of his shoe against the floor startled you out of your thoughts. Don’t make a big deal out of this, you told yourself.

Gingerly, you peeled the sopping shirt off your body and set it down on the chair beside you. You discovered that your bra was soaked through just as badly. You froze again while you debated what to do with it. Surely you should keep it on, right? But there wasn’t a chance in hell you’d ever warm up if you didn’t remove it. 

You took a deep breath to steady your nerves before you finally took it off as well. Hurrying now, you pulled the sweater over your head and shoved your hands through the sleeves. It was perfect. The fabric was soft, and the fit was roomy without being too baggy. It felt like a dream. You patted it down one more time before deciding you were ready.

“Okay, I’m done,” you mumbled quietly.

Levi slowly turned around to look at you. His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard.

His face was perfectly blank– well, almost. Almost.

His eyes told a different story. Something primal and desperate blazed inside those pools of silver. It was jarring. You knew this look; you had seen it before in your exes. Always right before they tossed you into bed and fucked you senseless. 

You hoped that you weren’t blushing too hard. You hoped he didn’t notice how long ago you’d stopped breathing. More than anything, you hoped he didn’t notice how cold you were through the fabric of the sweater. 

If he did, he didn’t say anything. He just clenched his jaw and turned away from you, going right back to his work without a second glance.

You tried your best to do the same. But after that, the energy in the room had shifted irreparably. The air felt hot and stuffy pressing down around you. Nervous sweat trickled down the back of your neck. You were painfully aware of how close he sat. You were trying so hard to grade the quizzes in front of you, but all you could think about was that ravenous look in his eyes.

It didn’t help how fucking good the sweater smelled. The remnants of cologne around the collar drowned you in a wicked spell of bergamot and cedar. There was something more, though. A unique, masculine scent that could have only come from Levi himself. You fought down the urge to lift the fabric and bury your face in it. 

Another hour went by in that excruciating silence.

You never did collect yourself.

Somewhere in your anxious trance, you managed to knock the stapler off the desk completely. Worse yet, when you bent down to pick it up, your chair rolled out from under you and sent you tumbling forward.

You didn’t hit the ground. Before you could, strong arms had wrapped around your waist, yanking you back up and spinning you over. It took you a long moment to gather your bearings. But when you finally did, you realized that you were face to face with Levi, swung across his lap bridal style. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” he whispered. His voice sounded strained.

There couldn’t have been more than two inches between the two of you. You felt his breath fanning over your lips when he spoke. It smelled minty. You were dying to close the gap and taste it.

You opened your mouth to apologize, but nothing came out. All you could do was stare at his lips like a hopeless idiot. They looked so soft, so delicate, so kissable. Your thoughts spun wildly out of control.

You could vaguely sense his heart pounding against your shoulder where you were pressed together. He was holding you so tight it almost hurt, but you didn’t care right now. Not in the slightest. His touch on your skin was sweltering; every nerve he grazed crackled with need. Every second that you stayed there cut another thread of your self control.

His was stronger, though. 

Setting your feet down gently, he turned his head away from you for a brief moment. When he looked back, it was with the icy glare he saved for the students he caught cheating on tests.

“Go home,” he commanded.

He said it softly, but you understood the threat.

Your sanity came back to hit you like a sledgehammer. What the hell were you doing? You could never, not ever, not for any fucking reason be sitting here in Levi’s lap! This had gone miles too far.

You scrambled out of his lap and bolted. Picking up your belongings, you mumbled some broken apologies and slammed the door behind you.

You should have never asked to stay here. You should have just dropped the class and found a different job. How could you face him after this? You needed to get him out of your system, now. So, when your dear roommate Sasha invited you out to a party that night, you accepted her offer without a second thought.

Chapter Text

As you changed outfits for the seventh time, your thoughts wandered back to what had almost happened in Levi’s office. A pang of sorrow shot through your chest.

Hazy memories drifted through your mind; eyes of molten steel swimming with lust, calloused hands desperately clutching you to a warm chest, hypnotic energy pulling you in, closer, almost to his lips.

For weeks, you’d tried your hardest to bury your little crush. You knew it was wrong, you knew it was stupid, you knew it could never happen. You knew all of this, but you still couldn’t help the way your heart seemed intent to fly right out of your chest and into Levi’s hands.

What you didn’t account for was him feeling the same way. Or at least, feeling something for you, if his body language meant anything. Whatever it was, it had to stop. For the sake of your sanity, and your job, you had to find a way to get over him. One more incident like that, and you were sure he would kick you out of the class for good.

You sat down with a groan and touched up your makeup again.

“C’mon babe! It’s gonna get shut down by the time we make it there!” Sasha teased, barging into your room to wrestle the mascara out of your hands.

You slapped her hand away in mock offense and put a final coat on your lashes. When you finished, she took your hand and twirled you around, showering you in praises. Truly, you looked stunning.

“I love you,” you confessed, hugging your friend as tight as you could. “Thank you for inviting me out tonight.”

You really meant it. With any luck (and alcohol in your system), you could finally get your mind off your raven-haired torment.  

“Aw, hon! Anytime! You know I love you too,” she answered, pulling away to smile at you. “You ready to go?”

You nodded and grabbed your belongings, heading towards the door. You waited patiently while Sasha stuffed some snacks in her purse before finally walking out.

An hour later, you found yourself at god-knows-what fraternity house, standing around the grimy kitchen with Sasha. The first shot of liquor warmed you a little and took away the nerves of being in a house full of strangers. The second shot muddled the nagging thoughts of your teacher into a cloud of tipsy calm. Halfway through the sparkling seltzer that followed, you were ready to dance.

Taking Sasha’s hand, you made your way through the busy kitchen and into the adjacent living room.

The moment you took your first step around the corner, your feet froze in place and your jaw went slack. Looming tall, right in the center of the crowd, was Eren. Green eyed, tattooed, oh-so-handsome Eren. The very same boy that you had almost messaged three weeks prior. There he stood, laughing his head off at whatever his friend had just said. He looked mesmerizing under the shifting rainbow of lights.

You found yourself wishing that you could hear their conversation. Through the din of pulsating music and cheery voices, you could almost imagine the sound of joy spilling out of his mouth. With a smile that radiant, it must’ve been absolutely lovely.

He seemed to feel your eyes on him, because after another long second, he turned directly towards you and grinned.

Oh shit, wait… shit! He was moving! He held your gaze while pushing his way through the crowd straight towards you. You panicked and turned to look anywhere else, praying that he hadn’t noticed how long you were admiring him.

Just then, you felt a quick squeeze on your arm and looked up to see Sasha scampering away from your side. Traitor!  

You were still watching your friend disappear into the huddle when you felt warm lips ghost over your ear.

“Hey, baby.”

You closed your eyes for a brief moment, taking in the silky-smooth voice. Just as good as you imagined.

“Hey,” you answered sheepishly, finally turning to acknowledge Eren. Even when he leaned back up away from your ear, he towered over you in a way that made your cheeks heat up helplessly. 

“What brought you here tonight?” he asked. His eyes narrowed when he said it, but the sly grin still remained.

It felt like he was studying you. What are you looking for? he meant. Could it be me?

You chose to be honest.

“I don’t know. I need a distraction, I think.” I need to forget about someone else.

“I can be that,” he offered, not missing a beat.

You looked into his eyes for a long while, sensing that he understood you. You decided that you liked him then.

You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol coursing through your veins, or the way he looked down at you through those drunken bedroom eyes like you were the only person in the room, but you were burning up. You wanted him.

And why wouldn’t you? Eren looked delicious. Up close, his eyes were vibrant shades of turquoise and jade that you were sure you’d never seen in your life. His hair was long and tousled in a way that begged you to mess it up some more. His black tattoos were wrapped around every inch of skin like a physical manifestation of his dangerous aura. He was tall enough to make you nervous from the sheer proximity. He was everything that Levi wasn’t. Your perfect escape.

You knew better than to waste this opportunity.

Before long, you were shamelessly straddling his lap on some couch in the corner of the room. You let yourself get lost in the taste of liquor on his breath and the warmth of his hands roaming over your body. When you discovered the cool metal of his tongue piercing, you couldn’t help the delighted moan that spilled out. He only laughed against your lips and pulled you in closer.

You lost all track of time in his arms. You lost all track of everything that night. Round after round of drinks burned away the weeks of angst from the inside out. The writhing mass of bodies pressed you tight against Eren as you danced and kissed and flirted for hours. With each sway of your hips and touch of his lips to yours, your mind drifted further and further into the clouds.

And just like that, the rest of the night passed by in hazy reverie, Levi thoroughly forgotten.

///

The next morning was not so fun. It took you hours to even find the strength to get out of bed. At some point, you discovered texts waiting on your phone from 5:13AM. You opened the messages to find a photo of Eren taken in the mirror, winking at the camera and pulling his shirt up to show off sculpted abs. Following was a brief text that read, “c u soon baby”. You swallowed hard, suddenly recalling what Levi had sent you the night you’d met.

A wave of guilt washed over you before you could stop it, twisting your stomach into knots. You couldn’t even explain it. Not a single thing you did last night was wrong. So why did you feel like you were betraying Levi? He was nothing but disaster for you. Eren, on the other hand, was available, age-appropriate, and wouldn’t get you expelled if you kissed him. That’s right, you thought. Eren was exactly what you needed. He was what you had been looking for in the first place on that grimy app: an easy, mess-free fling. This was your chance to see it through.

You took a deep breath and opened the photo again. Now, you really took the time to admire it. It was honestly incredible. His physique was long and lean, covered with beautifully carved muscle that wasn’t too bulky. You were pleased to see that his tattoos extended over his chest and sides, leading down beneath the hem of his sweatpants. What a shameless tease. Your mind raced with steamy thoughts of what lay under there. 

Looking up at the ceiling, you clutched your phone to your chest and thanked your lucky stars for giving you another chance at something normal.

Chapter Text

The rest of your weekend dragged on for what felt like an eternity. The schoolwork was starting to pick up now, so you stayed home and buried your head in the growing heap of assignments. Truth be told, though, it was a welcome distraction. Whatever you drank Friday night had only carried you away for so long before you had to fall back down to Earth. And waiting for you on the ground was Levi.

It was maddening how deep he’d buried himself in every corner of your mind. Like dust you could never quite sweep away. You uncovered more of it in mundane little moments, reminded of him when you tidied up your desk to perfection, or rain came down outside once more. You cursed that awful sweater every time your eye wandered to the dresser where it sat folded neatly, mocking you. Reminding you of what nearly happened. 

You promised yourself you’d wash it, give it back, get rid of the damned thing. Instead, every time you walked past it, you buried your nose in the neckline and drowned in the scent of damnation. That’s what Levi was for you. And yet you couldn’t resist the pull. In the end, you stuffed it deep inside the bottom drawer of your dresser and resolved to forget about it entirely. 

You thought about texting Eren. In a sense, at least. You thought about texting Eren right after you thought about Levi inches away from you, staring you down with bated breath. You could still feel the ghost of mint on your lips. God, you were pathetic. But it’s not like your little dalliance with Eren was the start of a relationship; you couldn’t just talk to him to pass the time. No, if you reached out, it would be to see him again. And sadly, in the stupid book of noncommittal mind games, you knew the first rule was not to text too soon.

///

Tuesday eventually arrived, and you found yourself back in Levi’s lecture hall.

When he caught sight of you entering the classroom, his face hardened from its usual dull mask into a genuine scowl. Your heart sank at the sight. Did you really ruin everything?

But there was something more to the way he looked at you. The way he bit his lip, the way his next inhale seemed twice as deep; he didn’t really hate you, did he? 

Just as quickly, he peeled his gaze away and didn’t return it for the rest of the lecture. You clung to that brief interaction like a flimsy thread of hope.

When class ended, you took your time grabbing your coffee. You weren’t avoiding him, per se, but you certainly weren’t in a hurry to be stuck in a room with him alone. After what happened on Friday, you weren’t sure how to act around him anymore. Or rather, whether you trusted yourself to act properly.

You paused in front of his office for a long minute before you could work up the courage to step inside. Knowing him, it was probably best to avoid the topic altogether than to try and apologize. So, with a final calming breath, you pushed open the door and entered. Clicking it shut behind you, you leaned against it and stood in his office.

Seeing Levi staring up at you from his desk quickly reminded you of what you’d taken from him the last time you were here.

“Oh– I left your sweater at home. I’m so sorry, I completely forgot. I’ll bring it back next time.”

The apology tumbled from your lips in a hurry as you recalled exactly why you’d hidden it away and forgotten it. The shameful memories painted your cheeks pink. You hoped that he couldn’t tell from across the room.

Levi turned back to his computer, entirely unphased.

“That’s fine. Keep it.”

“No, really, I can’t. I’ll give it back-”

“Don’t bother. It’s yours now. I don’t want it back.” Levi’s firm tone of voice left little room for argument.

Hesitantly, you accepted, mumbling some quiet thanks for his kindness. With that, you slipped into your seat and began grading papers. 

Time stretched on as you worked in silence side by side. After an hour, you yawned and shifted your seat. You were distantly aware of the sound of your phone buzzing on the table, but you ignored it to continue working. A few more minutes passed.

Then, you heard it buzz again, accompanied by a snort from Levi. That finally caught your attention.

“New boyfriend?”

Your eyes shot up to find Levi leering at you, head resting on his hand, eyebrows raised, with a subtle smirk dancing on his lips. He looked pointedly at your phone and then back to you. Taking the hint, you tapped the screen awake to find a picture of Eren half-naked awaiting your reply. The cheeky photo was taken from somewhere below his crotch, angled up to show Eren smiling at the camera with an arm flexed behind his head, and his erection straining against tight boxer briefs.

Oh. Your heart skipped a beat. Just your luck that Eren would text you now of all times. Levi’s bemused expression told you that he’d seen everything. You bit your lip to stop the horror from showing on your face.

What could you possibly say for yourself? Then again, what was there to say? You were doing the right thing by going after someone else. You had nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, this was a golden opportunity to pretend that you weren’t hopelessly infatuated with the man sitting next to you.

“Friend,” you answered coolly, eyeing Levi sideways.

He hummed a quiet sound of understanding, nodding his head slowly, sarcastically. Something about his attitude stirred up tiny sparks of annoyance.

“What?” you pressed.

“Nothing.” He was biting the inside of his cheek now to prevent his smirk from spreading any wider.

At that, you fully sat up, turning towards him and slapping your hand down on the desk. 

“For fuck’s sake! Spit it out.”

“Language,” he scolded. You shut your mouth and huffed, crossing your arms to scowl at him. He returned the look for a long moment before finally deigning to answer you. “Is that your type?” 

The way he said the words was so casual, so disinterested. If you didn’t know any better, you might even say it was judgmental. You wondered if he was mocking you for your poor taste. Maybe you were reading too deep into a casual question, but your throat burned with indignation all the same.

“What’s wrong with him? I mean– you saw him.” You pinched your nose in embarrassment but plowed through the feeling to defend yourself. “He’s hot, he’s a great dancer, and he’s super tall,” you tacked on, taking a not-so-subtle dig at Levi. If he wanted to be rude, you could do that too.

It thrilled you more than it should have to see that smug grin disappear. The deeper implication of your words hung in the tense silence between you, the forbidden comparison being made between the two men. You were playing a risky little game now, rubbing your new fling in Levi’s face. But you couldn’t help yourself. Not when you had a chance to toy with him for once.

You should have known it wouldn’t be so easy.

“Is that all?” he asked, pressing his lips together tightly.

Levi looked utterly unimpressed. It made you feel a little pathetic, to be honest. Here you were, bragging about some nobody to your teacher, in a desperate bid to make him jealous. Even if he was, it wouldn’t make a difference. But a tiny part of you needed to see it anyway. You needed to know that you weren’t just imagining things when you looked into his eyes and found desire simmering beneath the surface.

You searched your brain for anything else to say about Eren. Considering the state in which you met him, it was a miracle you remembered much of him at all. But he was a great kisser… oh!

“He has a tongue piercing,” you added suggestively.

Levi’s jaw clenched but he said nothing. Instead, he regarded you with sour disapproval before turning back to his work.

“Sounds like a real catch,” he muttered under his breath. Just like that, the conversation was over.

Your chest ached at the dismissal. Was that really all he had to say? In the end, he probably didn’t care after all.

///

The following night, you devoted yourself to studying for your upcoming exams. Time slipped away in the peaceful ambiance of your favorite library. It became harder and harder to focus as the hours went by and sleep called you home.

The next time you yawned, you reluctantly resigned yourself to the exhaustion. Packing up your things, you dragged your feet down the stairs and towards the front entry. When you stepped outside, the balmy breeze did little to wake you up. In fact, you nearly missed the voice calling out from behind you.

When you turned around, you froze in your tracks to find Levi catching up to you.

“What are you doing here so late?” he asked, stopping a few paces away.

“Studying. Midterms are coming up, you know. Why are you here?”

“Research.”

He looked over you in silence, noticing the bags under your eyes and the heavy textbook in your arm. He opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated, turning to stare at some far-off lamp post instead. Another beat of silence. Then--

“Can I walk you home?”

Maybe the offer shouldn’t have come as such a surprise, but it still caught you off-guard. Thoughtful as it was, you weren’t in love with the prospect of spending any more time with him than necessary.

“Ah… that’s okay. I’ll make it home, thank you though.”

He turned back to you with concern pulling at his face. He frowned, chewing his lip before speaking again.

“It’s really late. You really shouldn’t be walking around alone.”

“I’ll be fine, promise. I’m armed, see?” you joked dumbly, holding up the massive brick that was your textbook. At least that seemed to amuse him.

“And dangerous, yes. I mean it, though. Let me walk you,” he insisted.

You peered at him skeptically, not quite ready to accept but not sure how else to politely decline him. The whole situation was awkward enough already without you actually telling him to fuck off. Seeing the silent plea in his eyes, you relented.

“Alright, fine. Let’s go then.” You turned on your heels and began walking towards your apartment. “Thank you,” you added quietly.

Levi fell into step next to you without a word.

Despite your initial misgivings, you found that his presence was actually comforting after a while. The campus was completely deserted at this hour. The privacy of being so alone in the night began to feel oddly intimate. Maybe that was what spurred you to blurt out your next question without thinking.

“Do you wish I dropped your class?”

“Every single day.” He didn’t miss a beat when he answered.

“Oh.”

You stared at your feet beneath you, crestfallen. Deep down, you knew he felt that way but it still cut deep to hear him say it out loud. You were ready to spend the rest of the walk in more silence, but after a few minutes, he surprised you by speaking again.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to be around you?”

You looked up to find him already glaring at you, resentment swimming in his eyes. It burned. Words failed you as you struggled to process his admission. He shook his head in disappointment and turned away again.

“You know why I even had that shit in the first place? Hange– Dr. Zoe– wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone. Said I had a stick in my ass and begged me to find someone to pull it out.”

You listened to his story mutely. You didn’t question what was in the air tonight that compelled him to speak so freely for once.

“Eventually I did. Absolutely beautiful girl. Flirty, funny, perfect. Everything was set. Imagine my fucking luck when she walks into my classroom the next day,” he sneered, rubbing his face with his palm.

“What could I do at that point? I couldn’t kick you out without good reason. I sure as shit couldn’t tell Hange about it. So I prayed you wouldn’t say anything and tried to forget.”

He seemed so conflicted now, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep going or if he’d already said far too much. But another glance around at the empty streets seemed good enough for him to continue.

“It would’ve been fine after that, if you weren’t so… you,” he remarked bitterly.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you bit back. “I’m not trying to make your life harder, you know? It’s not my fault you took over the class. I need this job.”

Levi dutifully followed as you turned the next corner. You were down the block from your apartment now.

“I know you need it, damn it. I know you’re not trying. But you do.”

Your heart beat faster, but you tried not to let his words go to your head. Confessions spoken in the dark rarely meant anything after the night was up.

“Do you want an apology or something? What am I supposed to say to that, Levi?” you spat, growing frustrated with this pointless conversation. Why bring up the past now?

He winced at the use of his name, but he didn’t correct you on it.

“Don’t say anything. Fuck, just– I’m sorry.” Levi took a long, slow breath before speaking again, nearly whispering. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep up this charade.”

You stopped in front of your door, turning around to face him fully. Every word out of his mouth fanned the guilty flames of your desire. So it wasn’t just you. If the pain in his face said anything, he wanted you just as badly.

You reached your hand up to stroke his cheek.

“Levi…”

He caught your wrist before you could touch him. His grasp was tight– too tight, and scorching hot. 

“Don’t. This is wrong. I’m supposed to be the responsible adult here. I’ve already said too much tonight.”

Despite his verbal rejection, he didn’t let go of your arm. You took a step closer, daring to hope. Pushing just an inch.

“I’m an adult too, you know.”

He grimaced.

“It’s not the same. I’m your professor, for fuck’s sake.”

“You’re not really, though, are you?” 

“I might as well be. You work for me. I have sway over your education. It’s completely out of line.” 

You weren’t desperate enough to keep pressing the topic.

“Then stop talking about it,” you snapped, snatching your arm away. “I don’t know what you want from me, Levi.” 

With one sure stride, he backed you right into the door and snarled in your face.

“I want you to be anyone else, so I don’t have to spend every day thinking about what I would have done to you if you weren’t my fucking student.”

Just as quickly, he stormed off, leaving you to wallow in your bleary haze of emotions. You turned towards your apartment and leaned your head against the door, defeated.

Taking a shaky breath, you dug your keys out of your bag. Bitter tears welled up and blurred your vision. You fumbled around uselessly, failing over and over to put the key in the lock.

As the key finally found its home, a warm hand tugged on your arm, spinning you back around. A firm grip on your waist shoved you against the door. Soft lips melted against yours. Your eyes flew open to find that Levi was kissing you.

Levi was kissing you.

You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Adrenaline shot through your veins like lightning searing a path through every inch of your being.

But when he pressed his lips to yours a second time, you slowly found the will to move. Gently, hesitantly, you began to kiss him back. His breath hitched when he finally felt you responding. 

And then, he kissed you again, harder. Deeper. You parted your lips for him without another thought, letting him in completely.

The world melted away as you lost yourself to Levi. He was like a drug that you couldn’t get enough of. You needed him closer, everywhere, desperately, wildly. Every single inch of skin he touched burned for more of him. Every warm caress of his tongue against yours lured you deeper into sweet delirium. Your mind was filled with nothing but his intoxicating taste and scent.

Even pressed together this closely, there was still too much space between you. So you dug your hands into his hair and pulled, hard. He groaned and bit your lip in answer, shoving his tongue deeper down your throat. You slowly melded into a tangled mess of lips and teeth and tongues and passion. His hands roamed your body, grasping at your hair, wrapping around your waist, palming your ass. You returned his touch with fervor, relishing the hard planes of muscle and the silky hair beneath your fingertips. Minutes felt like hours in the blissful limbo of him.  

He swallowed your quiet moans with frenzied kisses, shoving you harder against the door and holding your hip with a bruising grip. Leaning down further, he nipped and sucked and licked at your neck while you whimpered under his attention. When he was satisfied with the marks he left there, he kissed his way back up to your lips. You buried your hands in his hair and tugged him closer again.

But then, he pulled away.

He pressed his forehead against yours, panting hard into your mouth. 

You didn’t dare to move. You didn’t dare to break the spell that finally tore down the wall between you. But you didn’t need to.

“I can’t do this to you,” he whispered into your mouth. 

“So don’t,” you begged immediately, heart already cracking. But you wanted him to. God, you wished he would.

He took a step back, lifting up the wall again. When you looked into those stormy eyes, you could see everything laid bare; the lust, the anguish, the guilt. He was miserable.

“I’m sorry. Fuck. I’m so sorry,” He stared at you wordlessly for another minute before walking off into the night without another look back.

You stood there, frozen in time, watching the distance grow between you. You didn’t move until he’d vanished completely. Your entire body felt numb, except for the aching hole in your chest where he’d ripped your heart out and taken it with him.

The worst part was, he was right. You couldn’t fall any deeper into this mess. No matter how you cut it, he was still your professor. You had no place in each other’s lives. So you made the first sane choice you’d made that night, and you pulled your phone out to text Eren.

Chapter Text

It was Friday night, and you were several drinks deep in the middle of the dance floor at your favorite club. You really, desperately needed a distraction, now more than ever. After what happened on Wednesday, you’d skipped that class, and you hadn’t even bothered to write an apology email excusing yourself.

He knew why you didn’t show up. It’s not like he could say anything about it. And if he did, that was for next-week-you to worry about. Right now, you were getting drunk. And possibly, finally, laid.

Eren was more than happy to oblige you on both fronts.

His presence behind you was warm, inviting. You relished the feeling of those big hands running slowly down your sides, teasing you, pulling you closer to his overbearing heat. He’d clearly done this many times before. 

What other tricks did he have up his sleeve? You were eager to find out.

The drinks were starting to hit now. The alcohol dulled your senses, wrapping you in a cozy little veil of want. Hypnotic bass lines thrummed against your own pulse and lulled you deeper into that heady trance. You swayed your hips to the beat mindlessly, grinding and twirling into Eren’s body, and he matched your rhythm perfectly. Every one of your movements was met with a gentle thrust of his hips, a brush of his fingers over your waist, something, anything that heated your core in delight.

Reaching up behind you, you tangled your hand in Eren’s hair, drawing him closer while you rocked into him. The stiff mass of his growing erection pressed against your ass in return. A rather large promise, if you could judge just by feel. 

Arousal pooled between your legs.

Eren dropped his head over your shoulder, burying his nose in your hair and panting softly into your ear while he danced. Leaning back further into him, you nuzzled your face against his.

Your breaths intermingled. Your cheek tingled warmly where it touched his. You could almost kiss him if you turned your head just a littleeee bit further.

Almost. If you hadn’t seen it first.

Between the pulsing bodies of the crowd, in brief glimpses, just barely teasing the corner of your vision. 

A shock of black hair. 

Ivory skin painted vivid colors under the shifting lights. 

Unnaturally tired eyes. 

The ghost of your paramour. Haunting you even here, even now, as you shared this filthy dance with someone else to forget him.

As if your mind couldn’t bear to allow you this one happiness.

But as you peered longer in its direction, the vision didn’t fade away. No; it was really him. There in the flesh. Sitting at the bar, scornful gaze fixed directly on you. 

You blinked hard, rubbing your eyes and praying he would vanish when you opened them again. 

He didn’t. 

The sight of Dr. Zoe and another familiar-looking colleague chatting beside him only solidified the nauseating reality. So you slowly, reluctantly, turned your attention back to him in resignation.

He met your stare with a bitter grin. 

Your stomach lurched.

Eren’s greedy hands roamed your body, entirely unaware of the horrific scene unfolding in front of him. He rubbed up the front of your dress, along your inner thighs, brushing dangerously close to your center before grabbing hard at the plush of your hips again.

Yet Levi’s face remained eerily unchanged. He just raised his glass, tilting it subtly towards you, and took a sip of the brown liquor.

Bile climbed up your throat. Your heart hammered wildly in your chest.

It was all you could do to keep moving without letting Eren sense that something was wrong. But everything was wrong.

The writhing mass of bodies suffocated you, sucking the very air from your tiny space in the crowd. Sweat poured down your neck and stung your skin. The music was too loud. The pounding rhythm that had swept you away a few minutes ago clashed against your heartbeat now. It took every ounce of will to restrain yourself from clawing at your chest in a fit of panic.

Everywhere that Eren touched felt hot. Burning hot. Where his caress had once lit up your desire, now it only branded you with the shame of witnessed sin. Under Levi’s stony watch, every brush marked another crime, another betrayal.

Your skin crawled with disgust.

But some stubborn, spiteful little part of you refused to stop. Not after he’d toyed with your heart so cruelly. Not after he’d made you believe for just one vulnerable moment that he actually wanted you too. That he’d actually cave in after denying the both of you for so long. That he might show some fucking humanity and let you in so you could finally get this awful attraction out of your systems and be done with it. But Levi Ackerman was not humane.

If anything, you two were more like wolves locked in a battle of wills. Prowling in weary circles around each other, always nipping and clawing and testing the other. Itching for a fight, but never committing to it. Jumping backwards after every bite and just walking another circle again. 

At this rate, you’d succumb to your wounds before you ever tasted any real bloodshed, any reason to make it all worthwhile. The tortured little beast inside of you was tired of this game.

So you dove in for the neck.

Bending at the waist, you leaned forward, letting Levi enjoy the fullest view of your cleavage while you backed your lower half into Eren. Eren responded in kind, placing one arm on your shoulder and another on your hip to grind into you lecherously. Satisfaction kindled like wildfire in your chest when Levi scowled and bit the inside of his cheek, barely hiding his disgust anymore. 

Yes. Yes.

You flashed him a wicked grin as you pulled Eren by the wrist and spun him around to stand in front of you, right between you and Levi. Peeking your head over Eren’s shoulder, you locked eyes with Levi once again. Then you turned your lips to Eren’s neck, and gave it the dirtiest, sloppiest kiss you could muster, still staring down your cruel professor. 

He pounded back the last of his drink and abruptly stood up to walk away.

Oh.

The room began spinning.

With your sole motivation now firmly out of your sight, every hellish sensation you’d been desperately ignoring slammed you into like a freight truck.

You had to get out of here.

You shouted some half-baked apology in Eren’s ear, promising to be back. He tried to ask if you were okay but ultimately didn’t bother to follow you when you hurried away.

All the better, really. 

You shoved your way through the crowd and made a beeline for the bathrooms. One look at the winding line, though, and you turned right back around. There had to be something, somewhere close. Frantically, you paced around the bar towards the VIP area.

A glowing exit sign at the end of the hallway pointed to salvation.

Shoving it open, you stepped out into the night. The frigid air outside chilled the sweat that soaked your skin and spread goosebumps in its wake. You crossed your arms together in a feeble attempt to warm yourself up. No use.

Pacing out a little further, you tried to take in your new surroundings. The alleyway was narrow, the ground damp with freshly fallen rain and littered with cigarette butts. The moon was full and bright above you.

Your head was still spinning from the nightmare you’d just left inside. Resigning yourself to it, you leaned against the nearby wall and closed your eyes to take deep, calming breaths. The air cooled your lungs, but it did nothing to still your mind. 

Did you take it too far? Did you ruin your chances completely?

You should go back to Eren.

Did he leave the club?

Go back to Eren.

He must really hate you now.

You don’t need him. You shouldn’t want him. Go home with Eren.

You fucked it up for good this time.

Take a few more minutes to calm down, then go home with Eren.

The door creaked open, startling you out of your thoughts. And out stepped Levi.

Oh.

...

He didn’t leave.

Your heart seized with relief at the sight of him, clawing its way out of your chest. Trying to crawl back to its owner. You cursed the pathetic little traitor.

Why was he here, though? Did he follow you? Your thoughts ran wild again with questions but you didn’t dare voice any of them. Instead you watched, wordless, chewing at your lip as he walked out to stand in the middle of the alley in front of you. He turned his head up towards the sky, studying the stars for a long moment.

He was breathtaking. Bathed in the cold, milky glow of the moon, he looked almost like a statue brought to life. Entirely too beautiful to exist by mere chance of nature. No, every feature was meticulously sculpted, every line etched with devotion. Years of life were beginning to wear it down just a little, but the weathering only made it sharper, more striking.

You wanted to run your fingers along his jaw just to see if they’d cut open and bleed.

He finally turned to acknowledge you.

“You shouldn’t be out here by yourself.”

You laughed in his face.

“Are you my chaperone now?”

“I’m not here for your benefit,” he answered, taking a slow step towards you. His gaze was predatory, his presence looming over you like a subtle threat. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up. 

You decided that you liked whatever was happening right now. At the very least, he was still here with you instead of halfway to home right now. This was good. Maybe he would bite back tonight.

“Oh? Why are you here then?” you murmured softly, taunting. He stepped closer again.

“Are you having fun tonight?” he asked, ignoring your question completely. Taking another step.

You pretended to contemplate your answer. In truth, you were having fun. Eren was a great deal of fun for you, and if Levi hadn’t been here, you would have gladly gone home with him. Maybe you still could. You probably should. But you wanted to see how far you could push Levi first.

“I’d say I am, yeah. Did you enjoy the show?” you prodded, batting your lashes innocently. 

With one final step, he backed you completely into the wall. Planting his hands on the bricks at either side of you, he caged you in, crowding your space. You tried your best to look unaffected. 

It was hard with him staring daggers into you, only inches away.

“No, I really didn’t.” he scowled.

“Aww. And why’s that, Professor?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? That’s your title, no?” It was a low blow, shameless and petty. Throwing his own boundary back in his face.

“I don’t care,” he hissed, shutting his eyes and ducking his head down into your neck.

“Well that’s a first. What are you doing out here, anyways, Levi?”  You spoke his name like a dirty little secret, hushed, like even saying it out loud was indecent. “What is it you want from me?”

He leaned back to face you again. So much hunger bared itself in that usually stoic expression.

“Everything,” he answered honestly. “I can't do this anymore.”