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Chapter Text

1815

It was a Friday, beautiful, sunny , uncharacteristic of London in the winter.

Penelope was bored to her core.

Her mama refused to go back to country side. Wanting to avoid additional costs she decided to keep the property closed and let the additional help go. She must give credit where credit is deserved , her mama was in did trying her best to keep the family afloat after cousin Jack escape to the Americas.

Most of the Ton are back to there properties , like bunch of animals , they fall asleep during the winter and return in the spring like hungry beasts thirsty for new blood and ready for another season. Her family remained in London, Mayfair empty and devoid of life. Like her heart. Eloise refused to see her before leaving and Colin... Penelope quickly erased the image of the last ball from her mind. She couldn't cry in public.

She refused to shed another tear for either of them.

She wandered through the empty wings of the royal gallery. One of the advantages of the off season is being able to enjoy your favourite places without the heavy and rigid environment of social etiquette . She stopped in front of a huge painting, admiring the bright colours and beauty of nature.

“Rubens one of the great masters. A genius who undoubtedly sees beauty and theatricality in the most mundane of scenes”

Penelope turned her head and came across the tall gentlemen with black hair and very deep blue eyes, just by her side, his eyes focus on the work in front of him.

“His world is full of colour, life and movement, not like this godforsaken place” She replied

“I don't think London is that dull , it's really not my Vienna but it can't be that horrible”

Penelope's eyes sparkled with curiosity

“Miss Penelope Featherington ” She introduced herself with a courtesy “Mr.?”

“Alexander” She waited for him to continue "Just Alexander".

However the way he tilled his head made his night-black hair fall delicately over his forehead and his very blue eyes had an air of mischief made her feel at ease

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance Mr.Just Alexander” she smile for de first time since that night

.
1824

The loud noise of the cup shattering attracted the attention of the entire family. The drawing room was completely silent. Violet, who had been discussing the with her youngest daughter her presentation to Society a few moments, now presented a sad and upset expression.

Hyacinth became alarm very quickly

“ Is something wrong mama?”

Violet's eyes looked at Colin for a brief moment before focusing again on the missive that she had received. She knew that piece of paper contained her third child's second chance or his downfall.
She delicately clarified her voice before answering her daughter.

“Penelope is returning to London."

Chapter Text

1815

Portia was ecstatic her youngest daughter is to be married and not to any gentlemen.

Her Penelope is to become a royal.

The young man was a catch. Penelope on the other hands was feeling overwhelmed she never thought that by marrying Alexander her life was going to change so much she was saying goodbye not just to lady whistledown but to Eloise the bridgertons and specially her love from Colin.

Within less then a month she will be a Archduchess of Austria by marrying the 4th son of the emperor.

“His Highness the archduke Alexander calling on miss Penelope Feathering ”

Alexander was at her door with the most beautiful flowers she smile at him. Portia without any regards to propriety left the young couple alone in the drawing room .

“I think your Mama is trying to make us marry with the up most urgency. "he smirked at her

“She just worried that Your Highness is going to give up on the idea of marrying me”
Alexander frown.

“I thought we had agreed that in private we would address each other by our Christian given names”

Penelope smiled. It was strange for her to feel so comfortable with someone other than the Bridgertons.
Alexander was beautiful, so beautiful that he seemed to have come out of one of her books, a hero from a fairy tale. His face was harmonious with strong features, his not very thick eyebrows were straight and framed his blue eyes that sparkled with two sapphires. The nose was proportionate to his face and matched his jaw with strong lines. His lips were thin and he had slight dimples when he smiled.But he was also kind and funny and tried to make her smile whenever he the chance.

She was undoubtedly lucky, he might not be the great love of her life, but during the last month, while courting her, Penelope felt seen and heard, perhaps for the first time in her entire life.
Unlike Eloise, Alexandre demonstrated a pleasure in knowing her opinion and debating multiple subjects with her. He actually seemed thirsty for her mind, curious how a woman raised so conservatively would have such cutting-edge ideas, and unlike Colin, he didn't treated her condescendingly or as if she were a child or an accessory to make him stand out from the ton, even though he was 5 years older than her.

"Penelope I would like to discuss some issues with you regarding our marriage"

“of curse”

“As you already know, my intention when I left Vienna was to look for a bride, however I have no intention of resuming right after the ceremony " he paused " I would like you to accompany me for the rest of my trip, however if not If you would like, I can arrange for you to travel directly to Vienna and stay with my sisters until my return.”

“Alexander...”

“About our living arrangement, As the 4th son I am not exactly necessary for the government of the empire, my role is just to travel around the territory in order to put the nobility in order. I spend part of the year at my home in Bavaria and the other part in Vienna and traveling around the territory depending on my father's orders, I don't expect you to be willing to travel with me especially after we have children, so I would like to have permanent residence in capital .”

Penelope nodded in agreement

“My question is do you want to have a residence in London? So you can visit your family whenever you want? Expenses are not a problem and you will have my family's resources at your dispos-”

“No "penelope interrupted "with all due respect Alexander I don't want to come back here. " the expression of shock on his face made her take a deep breath and prepare herself to open her heart to a man who for all intents and purposes was a stranger " There is nothing for me here. This place just stole my light and made me lose what I loved most. I'm not a good person Alexander, I hurt a lot of people, in fact I hurt the people I loved most and for that I will carry the blame for the rest of my days. But if destiny gave me a second chance with our marriage, I want to grab it and leave my past here.”
His eyes softened, For a moment she thought he seemed to understand her heartbreak perfectly. As if two shattered souls had found each other and tried to build a future with the pieces that were left.
“I have something to confess and I will ask for the dissolution of our engagement if you wish."

“Don't tell me you killed someone" he smiled mischievously.

She smiled softly.

“I’m Lady whistledown .”

“The gossip writer?” the shock on his face quickly turned into contagious laughter."you are the author who is driving my aunt crazy, not everyone can achieve this so much in life” with him continuing to laugh Penelope relaxed and laughed embarrassedly "my future wife is not only beautiful and educated but also a businesswoman, god what did I do to be so lucky"

Penelope could finally take a deep breath, feeling alive again

Chapter Text

1815
Aubrey hall

Colin burst into the drawing room where Eloise was looking at her mother in shock.

Colin's eyes focused on the letter in his mother's hands and without much concern for etiquette he took it out and read it quickly. It was as if a bolt of lightning had passed through him from end to end, a tingling sensation and pain running down his spine.

No, Penelope wouldn't have done such a thing. Eloise hadn't shared with him that her friend was even looking for marriage. His best friend had simply gotten married and left without even a goodbye, without even a bloody private letter. She limited herself to communicating what she called the good news to her mother, just her mother, and asked her to convey her wishes for a good and long life to everyone in the family.

“What in hell does this mean?” Colin looked at his sister frozen in place "Did you know this?"

Eloise trembled, coming out of what seemed to be a trance.

"Of course not, my friendship with Miss Featherington has been over since we left London. I hope she is very happy with her new life." She said, trying to contain her tears, Eloise turned her back and almost ran to her room.

“Dear” before Violet anything to him Colin storm off slamming the door so hard that the drawing room windows shook

Colin heart hurts, it hurts as much as if someone had their hand around it and was squeezing it slowly before trying to pull it out. His stomach was burning and the urge to vomit made him open the windows with all his might, plunging the room into cold icy winter air. No, no, no, no, his Pen, the only pure and sincere smile in your life was taken away by force.

She didn't simply marry a gentlemen of the ton, she married royalty from another country and now her husband would take her away from him, he would never again see the blue eyes that brought him so much comfort during his travels, when he saw the colour of her eyes reflected in the Mediterranean or the colour of her curls in the Athens sunset. Someone would look at those eyes for the rest of their life and Colin might never see them again. Someone would kiss her lips, touch her skin, someone would see the sunrise reflect on her porcelain skin. Her womb would grow with the child of someone who wasn't him.

Pure white rage coursed through his veins and Colin was blinded by it, as blind as he had been by his stupidity until the moment he lost her. By the time Colin became aware of what was going on Benedict had already restrained him and Anthony was speaking to him in a low, assertive voice, his room was practically destroyed and his mother was silently crying by door.

His body went limp and he fell to his knees as tears ran freely down his face.

She ran to his side, both of them on the floor, his head in her lap.

“I can not breathe mama, I can not breathe without her”

.
"Oh dear I know" Violet stroked her son's hair.

"Pen , My Penelope"

Chapter Text

Mayfair, 1824

Penelope's heart was beating so hard she could hear the blood in her ears. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw No.5 Burton Street,

9 years ago, she left Mayfair a married woman with a thousand possibilities of a good future but now she was back just with the hole he had left.

Returning to her Mama's house would be her only option for the time being until she took up her own residence in London.

When the carriage finally pulled up in front of Featherington House, Penelope felt almost as if she were trapped in a nightmare, as if she were the 18-year-old child trapped in the naivety forced on the well-bred Ladys.

"Your Highness," the butler waited with the door open, already directing the servants to collect the luggage,Penelope merely nodded.

" Its my mother here Briarly?

“ She’s at the modiste your Highness”

"Very well, call me when she arrives, I will retire myself to my bedchamber until then. Please see to it that the trunks are unloaded and my maid accommodated in the servants' wing"

There is a light knock on the door as Penelope climbs the stairs, followed by a small commotion in the parlour.

"Your highness Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton insists that you see her. I already told her to come back during visiting hours but she insists"

Violet? Penelope's heart sank, she hadn't seen her in years despite having kept in touch with her all these years. Lady Bridgerton had made a point of maintaining a regular flow of letters from the moment Penelope got married. In fact, they exchanged more letters than Penelope did with any of her family members.

“Please take Lady Bridgerton in to the private drawing room, tell her I'll be there shortly"

“ Immediately, ma'am."Briarly bowed and quickly left.

“Rae please just assist me in change into a day dress"

“ Yes my lady”

Violet was as beautiful as ever, her hair tied delicately on top of her head in a light blue dress that matches her eyes.

She walked towards Penelope with open arms for a split second but stop and choose to courtesy “Your Highness"

Penelope closed the distance between them by hugging the woman she had adored as a mother all her life.

"My dear" The older woman whispered softly into her hair.
For the first time since leaving Vienna, Penelope cried, cried for what she had lost, for her past, for the future that could have been. Penelope mourned the death of her beloved husband in the arms of the mother of her great love, the one who never was. In Violet's arms, Penelope felt at home.

Bloomsbury

Colin wasn't expecting Anthony and Simon so early that morning, at first he expected it to be news of Benedict and Sophie announcing the birth of the newest member of the family, but he quickly realized from the sullen faces that it wasn't news from Wiltshire.

“Brother" greeted Anthony with a forced smile .

“Has something happened?" he asked anxiously, as the Duke wasn't even looking him in the eye.

Anthony and Simon looked at each other before the Duke continued in a calm and emotionless voice.

"The Archduchess has arrived in Mayfair," Colin's heart quickened.

“ Mother asked you to be notified. And she asked us to guarantee your distance until she could call the Pe-archduchess” .

Anthony’s eyes softened when he saw the sadness on his Younger brother’s face.

” Brother, we cannot forget that in addition to the years that have passed , she is in mourning, a male caller would be Highly inappropriate and a huge scandal to a woman in her position.”
Colin knew this however, he would trade everything he had to see her eyes once again, to see if her hair was still burning like flames,if her smile still lit up everything specially his heart.

He pours a glass of whiskey for his brother and brother-in-law .

"Well, gentlemen, I can only wait until then." he raised his glass in a toast” To Second chances".

Chapter Text

Bridgerton house

The house was abuzz with preparations for dinner, Kate had even made herself available to help . It wasn't just the fact that they were preparing a dinner for the Archduchess, but it was also a neutral ground for Penelope to meet Colin and Eloise.

It had been two weeks since Penelope's return to London. Violet, Kate and Daphne were frequent guests for tea at Featherington House. She had already crossed paths with Simon and Anthony but no sign of Colin, probably on another one of his tours of the Continent.

“ My lady the footman delivered a missive this morning"

Dear Penelope
We count on your presence tonight.
He will be there.
With love
Violet.

The knot in her stomach grew, that night she would have to face the two biggest ghosts of her past. Alex would have laughed at her at that moment. Since when are you so easily intimidated? That girl died the day she got married. Everything she had lived... She had lived more than many Men of the Ton .

“Rae please prepare my evening dress for dinner with the Bridgertons"

“Yes my lady"

She was still in full mourning but somehow the black highlighted her eyes and red hair even more. Her dress, despite not having any jewels, stood out for the modernity of Austrian fashion, while the ladies continued with narrower and more elegant dresses. Penelope's dresses already featured bare shoulders, a very accentuated waist and more voluminous skirts, which were part of the Austrian court.
Crossing the street seemed to take forever. Anxiety almost overtook her when the Bridgertons' butler opened the door. She needed to do this

Eloise was annoyed by the Archduchess's visit It wasn't as if Penelope had never been in that house, in fact in what seemed like another lifetime she had spent more time there than in her own home, but that was before...

Before she knew that her best friend was a vile and poisonous woman, a woman capable of destroying her reputation and that of her family, exposing her own cousin to society... she might have looked different but her rotten centre wouldn't have changed.

This person was now welcomed into her home with the utmost care.

She would be lying if she said it didn't hurt to look at the woman who was now being welcomed into her parlour, almost eight and twenty years old, she looked exactly the same as the last night she saw her, the night she discovered her secret, yet the eyes that Eloise knew so well were devoid of sparkle...dead

The clothes had certainly changed, Penelope was dressed as you would expect someone of her social standing to be, the fabrics were of the highest quality and the craftsmanship was of the finest, despite the simplicity of the dress and the colour. Her hair was the same fiery colour that Eloise had brushed so many times, now gently ruffled on top of her head with a few strands adorning her face.

A viper with the face of an angel.

"Eloise," she greeted softly, almost as if she was waiting for a reaction.

"Your Highness" she courted, her voice dry and her expression cold.

Penelope's face fell and her eyes filled with tears.

Eloise's mother intervened, diverting the redhead's attention to the other members of the family. She noticed, however, that Colin was still leaning between the door and the entrance corridor.

She was there, in front of him like one of the illusions that haunted him all those years, like one of the nights when Colin woke up frightened and briefly saw her at the foot of his bed, looking at him. She was absolutely stunning, her girlish features matured in an exquisite way.
Colin felt almost a tingling sensation all over his body as she pulled him towards her. If he hadn't been so blind all those years ago, Penelope would perhaps be with her family now, if he hadn't been stupid enough not to recognize why he felt so comfortable with her, why his heart raced every time he met her. Because of all Ton's people, he most looked forward to sharing his stories of his travels with her. Even all those years ago she was already his purpose.

He wanted to stay there, in the shadows even if it was another moment drinking from her image, getting drunk in her presence, she was different more mature and confident, seen in the way he talked to Anthony, as if the viscount was nothing less than an old friend, when as a girl she was terrified in his presence.
She clearly has a position much superior to him, she married a member of an imperial family, this thought somehow disturbed him, he had many years to learn how to deal with jealousy. In early years, he roared inside him, eating him alive from day to day. Now even though was always there he tried to live with the knowledge that she was happy, surviving from the crumbs that came to him from the letters she exchanged with his mother.
Colin knew that his hiding would not last long when Eloise left the parlour towards the dining room, and despite having a polite conversation with the family members, Penelope's eyes wandered around as if she was discreetly looking for someone.

"The dinner is served" his mother communicated ushering everyone to the dining room leaving the guest last. She gently tightened Penelope's hand, leaving her behind with a confused air. He knew it was his leave.

"Good evening , Your Highness"

Chapter Text

Even after so many years...

It was like it was yesterday...

 To her heart and her soul had been yesterday.

He was there in front of her, older, in his two and thirty, the hair continued the same chestnut of his childhood, the skin was golden by the sun in contrast to the more pale skin of his brother, the shade of a recent beard adorned his face, could shock all the high society but Penelope thought it gave him a beautiful and primal appearance. His Tail Coat was impeccably made dark blue, a silk waistcoat, of the same colour as his coat and his light beige trousers were wrapped in his top-boots.

Colin was the perfect image of the gentleman of high society. And unfortunately for her he was still more beautiful than she ever dreamed of, those beautiful green eyes that for so long took her sleep, stare back at her and seemed to be able to read her soul.

"Mr. Bridgerton " Penelope greeted "It's good to see you in good health"

Her voice was the coldest that she could manage Colin looked at her without really understanding what was going on, he understood that as soon as Penelope left she would have been forced to stop correspondence with him because she was a married lady, but nothing now explained the indifferent treatment.

Without saying anything more she went out towards the dining room, her long skirts dragging through the carpet was the only sound that Colin register .

No, no, no... Something was wrong.

Something was very, very wrong. The last time they were together so many years ago at the last dance they shared Penelope looked at him like he hang the moon, now she didn't even look at him.

Was it because of her husband?

 Penelope had been through a situation of great pain, and Colin remembered when her mother sat for hours in the study at Aubrey Hall staring firmly at her father's portrait.

Would her love for her husband be so strong and so great that she couldn't even look at him? But she seemed comfortable with his brothers and his brother-in-law.

Penelope was seated between the Viscount and the Duke as expected of her title, effectively isolating her from Colin.

He was sitting right after Dapnhe could do nothing but face her, trying to figure out where this had gone wrong.

He hoped to meet an older Penelope, more confident but the same girl with bright eyes and easy-coloured cheeks , the same who laughed at his jokes and was fascinated by his stories.

Nevertheless find a cold and sad-eyed woman.

"Your Highness, how is it to be back after so long?" asked Anthony trying to break a tension between the siblings and a redhead.

"Please Lord Bridgerton, Penelope, you know me since I was a girl." Anthony's eyes showed tenderness. In fact he had known Penelope since she and Eloise ran through the gardens of the house trying to escape the tutor.

"It has been different, life in Bavaria was already too accustomed."

"But shouldn't you live in Austria?" Hyacinth asked.

"Hyacinth!Manners!" Violet rattled.

 "I assure you there is no problem," Penelope smiled before answering, "My husband's favourite residence was in Bavaria, where we spent most of our time together."

Colin's fist closed so strongly that the knots of his fingers became white.

"It was closer to Alex's grandmother's residence where he and his sisters were raised."

"He was raised away from court?" asked Daphne

"Yes, he as the fourth son, was sent with the princesses to be raised by the Empress dowager. Alex had an enormous affection for his grandmother. So when we weren't working, we spent all the available time there."

 "Did Penelope work?" Gregory's eyes were wide.

She smiled melancholically .

 "Yes, my husband always included me in the management of both the properties, as well as in the patronage of the various mercies, and even in some military strategy."

Eloise's envy burned in the pit of her stomach, but anger kept her quiet as she pushed the food onto her plate.

“We use to be up all night in his study looking through maps. Unfortunately major conflicts with the Ottomans are frequent."

"And Penelope travelled? When you were younger you loved stories about other places " said Colin trying to introduce himself into the conversation.

 "Actually yes Mr. Bridgerton, I can say that I know a large part of the continent and my husband never left me behind. In fact he insisted that I follow him wherever he went." Penelope's emotionless tone and hard face were making him increasingly uneasy.

 " Excuse me. " Eloise stood up abruptly receiving a reprimand from Anthony. Colin couldn't help but notice the look between Penelope and his mother.

With tension thick in the air, Penelope took the opportunity to apologize and return. As she was waiting for the butler to bring her the shawl, she heard hurried footsteps.

She knew exactly who it was. Even after so many years she could still distinguish him from anyone else.

“Pen...”

“Yes, Mr. Bridgerton?”

"Please, I know it's been many years, but we are dear friends" Colin at that moment was trying to touch her heart in some way.

 He knew she might never accept his affections. He knew he could continue to live as he had until now. Waiting... God he would wait forever for her... Until his last breath .

“Friends Mr.Bridgerton? No, we are not friends... We are acquaintance ,yes. But friends? Not in the wildest fantasies” Colin's face turned pale “Goodbye sir”

Chapter Text

Penelope had just come from the modiste when the butler announced the presence of Franz Küster.

"My dear friend" Franz was once a close friend and Alexander's solicitor. He was a frequent visitor to Weissenstein Castle, where Alex spent much of the year with his beloved grandmother, dowager empress of Austria and princess of Wittelsbach.

"Your Highness," he bowed.

"No, please. " She grabbed the blond man's hand "How do you do? I haven't seen you since..."

Penelope's voice died when she realised she hadn't seen him since the burial.

Almost a year before.

"Still working for the imperial household, life has lost a great deal of light and joy without you and the prince. "

"I couldn't stay there any longer, apart from the memories, Franz you know the rumours, I wouldn't be safe"

"Yes, I know," he paused, looking deeply into her eyes. "That's why I'm here, it seems His Highness also knew."

He handed her a letter bearing Alex's seal.

God, her heart felt like it was going to gallop out of her chest and the contents of her broken fast threatened a new appearance.

It was him.

"A house?" she asked shocked.

"Yes, I was contacted by another solicitor here in London, it seems the prince acquired the estate about three years ago.

" Penelope's head spun, three years?

"It seems he wanted you to have a home to call your own. It's here in Mayfair, it's a good-sized house, it'll need staff, but it's furnished to the bare minimum."

"He was fantastic, wasn't he, Franz?"

Her eyes filled with tears as the man looked at her tenderly, so young and already thrown to the wolves. Penelope was old enough to be his daughter, just like Alexander.

Both thrown to the animals that inhabited high society, Alexander had his grandmother and his status to defend him, while Penelope had learnt to fend for herself,

"I'll be in London for a few more weeks. I'm meeting at the emperor's behest to negotiate support for the imperial troops in the Ottoman question in the east."

"Have the casualties been significant?"

"Unfortunately, the summer has been dry and the winter harsh. There are fears of famine and drought with the arrival of hot weather."

"I can try to pull a few threads- "

"It wouldn't be too dangerous, do yourself and me a favour and keep a low profile as much as possible, if not for you then for him."

Franz's tired eyes stared at the letter,

"That's a new beginning." Franz stood up and bowed

"Your Highness knows how to contact me, please let me know whatever you need."

"Of course, old friend. Take care and keep me informed of anything I can do for you."

Penelope's heart raced as her eyes returned to the paper in her hands .

"... this is my gift to you for all the years you've been by my side, for all the good you've given me, for being a ray of sunshine in the darkness of my being. Here's your second chance, don't waste it"

Chapter Text

Colin was delighted at the chance to spend the evening with Penelope, and thanked the gods for his sister-in-law's invitation to be part of the opera.  

With the start of the social season, Colin became a hermit, as he had every year since that fateful year. 

His existence was based on travelling and when in London his time was spent between the family home, his bachelor lodgings and the occasional visit to the high-class brothel.  

 He had already changed his outfit at least three times before choosing the dark blue and black ensemble.  

He was nervous, a lot, the last meeting with Pen hadn't gone as he'd imagined, she'd undoubtedly become a woman comfortable in her own skin, he'd never seen her show such strength, gone were the days of the embarrassed and delicate Pen. 

However, his last interaction with the Archdudess had left him somewhat unsettled. 

 Even though he didn't realise his feelings until too late, he had always considered Penelope the best of his friends, she was perhaps the person who knew him most genuinely and intimately. 

 And for her he was nothing more than an acquaintance. 

‘Good evening, brother,’ Anthony greeted with a heavy expression on his face. Eloise stood next to him, her face locked on the carriage window.  

‘Good evening,’ he replied quietly, inclining his head towards Gregory, who was standing next to him, ’but what has bitten them?’ 

Gregory also replied quietly, ‘She didn't want to come and she caused chaos and as punishment she was put in Anthony's company all night.’ 

Colin chuckled  ‘Anthony is grounded by association’ 

The journey to the Royal Opera House was made in silence.

Being the first to arrive, the group waited for the rest of the family in the atrium 

Colin had heard her before he saw her, in fact he had felt her before he saw her.  

Penelope had come in with his mum and sister-in-law, and between them the conversation was lively, but it wasn't just Colin who stopped to watch them come in, everyone from the ton who had been present up until now was grouped together to share pleasantries and gossip.  

His heart missed a beat as his eyes locked onto the figure in front of him, his colours matching hers.

 The long dark blue dress trailed along the floor as she walked the dress displayed a modest neckline but the dropped waist of the dress made her curves much more evident, for a mere second Colin assailed by the desire to gouge out the eyes of all the men present. 

Her eyes locked on his for a brief second and Colin felt a shiver run down his spine. 

‘Gentlemen,’ she greeted with a slight bow. ‘Miss Bridgerton’ 

 Eloise turned her back and started up the stairs towards the balcony.

Penelope's expression froze and her posture stiffened. 

Gregory approached Penelope and offered her his arm. 

‘Will you do me the honour of escorting her to your seat? "

‘Of course, Mr Bridgerton.’ Colin's eyes fixed on his younger brother, who smiled mischievously. 

‘Don't worry, you'll get your chance tonight, we'll just arrange for the Archduchess to enter society smoothly,’ said Anthony with his hand on his brother's shoulder. 

 Penelope climbed the stairs on the arm of the young Gregory, when she had left for Vienna he had been no more than a child, now he was a young man who had come home from his Eton days.  

He was now the same age as Colin had been when she debuted. 

She was ensconced in the right-hand seat while the rest of the Bridgertons sat in their places, Eloise sitting to her mother's left at the other end of the cabin Gregory, Anthony, Kate and... 

Oh the one next to her was Colin. 

‘Eros and psyche,’ he said softly, leaning towards her. ‘One of the most beautiful love stories of antiquity’ 

‘I don't know if I can agree, Mr Bridgerton. A marriage based on a lie, a mother-in-law who was jealous of her beauty and vengeful, and a woman who was forced to suffer at the whim of the gods because of her curiosity.’ 

‘Yet they are together for eternity, love and soul, forever together’ 

She smiled mockingly 

‘That doesn't mean much if we put it all together.’ 

‘Then who would it be?’ 

‘The most beautiful love story would be Hades and Persephone, wouldn't it? A love marriage where the husband is not only faithful, but exalts the power of his beloved by making her queen of the underworld. True love and equality. Something that a woman in this day and age could only dream of, a privilege reserved for a few.’ 

Colin understood what she meant, she was one of those beloved and powerful women.  

He knew that it was socially correct for a woman to be submissive to her husband, as the laws of the church and good custom dictated, but Colin couldn't even imagine a time when his Pen wouldn't have the freedom to be an equal partner.  

All these years he had never imagined her at his side demure and subservient.

He had always imagined her free in simple practical dresses, her hair loose and her eyes sparkling, sharing their home studio with him.  

 ‘Maybe you're right,’ Penelope turned abruptly towards him, unable to hide her shock.

She knew that what she had said, although true, would never be accepted, especially in a backward social circle like the London court. 

But Colin stared sweetly at the still empty stage, his mind clearly elsewhere, perhaps on someone else he had met, Penelope's heart skipped a beat before her head took over, so many years had obviously passed and someone was living in her heart.  

And it was none of her concern.  

Yet jealousy raged inside her. 

The performance passed and between the glances exchanged between acts and the vibration in the air, neither of them would be able to recount the event. 

When it was finally over, Colin stood up and held out his hand to Penelope 

‘Your Highness, may I accompany you?’ 

A shiver ran down his spine and the hair at the base of his neck stood up as he felt her gloved hand in his. 

‘Of course, Mr Bridgerton.’ 

Chapter Text

Colin had his eyes fixed on the ceiling ,that night sleep escaped him , he could smell in himself the smell of rose water with a twist... maybe lemon?   

The smell of her , the smell he sought for all the cities that passed through she smelled the sun, the Mediterranean, the House.  

His heart and body were in hyperactivity as if they were in a state of alert, that night as he went down with his Pen on his arm the stairs was as if his world was for the first time on the right side.  

His body was reacting as if he were a green lad again, as if he had never known the touch of woman.

Not his  woman .  

 It was as if all his being is on fire only to be in her presence.  

Pen seemed more comfortable in his presence but similar to the Pen of his childhood.  

Her hair reflected the light of the chandeliers as they both descended the stairs, she looked like a goddess sitting among mere mortals.   

By the end of the evening she had even laughed at the shenanigans between her and Gregory, she belonged there on his arm and among the family she had grown up with.  

That night Colin decided that slowly and patiently he would try to get closer to Penelope and in her time he would start the courtship.   

She had just come out of deep mourning and was only now returning to society.  

 Of course, as archduchess, the rules would be more flexible for her, since she was in any case part of an imperial family.  

Colin jumped out of bed and quickly summoned the butler to help him with his morning routine.   

He knew it was early, no unfashionably early, but his mother would be up by now he knew that Daphne and the Duke would still be in London for at least another couple of days before heading to Aubrey Hall where the whole family would gather to celebrate Violet's birthday and to meet the newest member of the family, Charles.  

Violet smiled as she saw her third child enter the house.  

She was sitting on her porch with a cup of tea in her hand, still in her house dress.   

‘My dear’ she kissed Colin's forehead as he bent down to greet her  

‘Mother it's good to see you in such good spirits’  

He knew she missed his father at these special times.  

‘I learnt some great news on our journey home yesterday, Kate invited Penelope to join us at Aubrey Hall, and she accepted.’  

Before Colin could say anything Violet interrupted, ‘I know you've waited a long time for her, but son Penelope isn't the same girl anymore. So please take it easy.  I don't want to break your heart. And life rarely gives second chances’  

‘I was wondering if Daphne could chaperone us today, I'd like to invite Pen for a stroll round Ranelagh Gardens.  

‘What a marvellous idea,’ Violet smiles.  

 Her third child was about to face a very different reality.   

Penelope had come back much more hardened than the girl Violet had known, and she wondered if Colin was now immature enough for the young widow.  

Life could have been very different if his son hadn't been so obtuse.   

He could have been married, he could have given her one or two grandchildren by now, but Colin had be enchanted with young Marina and lost the treasure that had been just across the road all his life.   

Penelope had once loved her son.  

Violet was sure of that, but now?  

Her greatest fear was that her son would end up heartbroken once again, and they would go back to countless sleepless nights waiting for him to return from the gentlemen's club.  

 ‘After breaking the fast I'll send a letter to Featherington House’  

The Duchess escorted the young Archduchess through the gardens arm in arm while her brother followed behind with her husband.  

Penelope stood stiffly on the duchess's arm, all too aware of the man a few paces behind her.  

When she'd received the letter that morning, it had been from the dowager Viscountess Bridgerton, but when she'd arrived at the door of No. 5, the dukes and Colin had been waiting for her, she'd been upset, feeling trapped by the man who, even after all these years, still made her heart beat.  

Since the dinner at Bridgerton House, two months had passed, and the past had undoubtedly come back to haunt her, Eloise wasn't looking at her, and deep down she preferred it that way.  

 Colin, however, had been gently and consecutively inserting himself into her life.   

That wasn't good, not good at all...  

When they stopped at a bench next to one of the gazebos where a quartet was playing, Simon caught his wife's eye and they both went over to the stall and looked intensely at the little sweets neglecting their role as chaperones.  

Colin took the opportunity to sit next to Penelope.  

‘They don't seem to listen to themselves,’ he said, nodding in the direction of the band.  

Penelope smiles cordially.  

‘Their harmony is reminiscent of the young women of smythe smith’  

Colin's jaw dropped open  

 ‘Your Highness what a barb!’  

‘They look a bit too old to keep trying, maybe instead of gaining their wits they're already losing them.”  

His laughter drew censorious looks.  

Penelope felt herself relax a little more.  

No, this wasn't a good idea, she should get away from him as far as she could, she was too old to pine for someone.  

‘There are certainly things that never change,’ said Colin dreamily.  

She was there, her Pen, her wit, her sharp tongue that made the most opportune remark at the right moment.  

‘There are certainly things that never change,’ said Colin dreamily.  

She was there, her Pen, her wit, her sharp tongue that made the most opportune remark at the right moment.  

‘I think you're wrong Mr Bridgerton, everything changes, time never stops and it takes everything with it’  

‘But it also brings back what we've lost ’ his eyes locked on hers and Penelope could have sworn she saw them glisten with tears ’It brought you back ’  

‘He didn't bring back the one who took Colin’ she whispered softly.  

A shiver ran down her spine.  

 8 years had passed since she had heard his name on her lips.  

‘I know, but it doesn't matter, what matters is that he brought you back to where you belong, all these years, the emptiness of your departure has never gone away, the hole has never closed, maybe in another life things could have been different’  

Penelope's expression froze.  

‘I don't remember saying that I wish things had been different’  

‘For a long time I wanted to be able to step back and do things differently’  

‘I wouldn't do anything differently and frankly it's pointless to duel in such things. The past is in the past, memories are just that memories and honestly I'm not too senile to say they were good.’  

‘What?’ Colin whispered.  

She exhaled and stood up, hurrying towards the more secluded part of the garden, breathing heavily.  

How did he find the courage? The anger at his inpertinence ran hot through her veins .  

After all, he had never seen her as a woman, she was just little Pen, his and Eloise's crutch.   

Neither of them had ever listened to her, let alone seen her for herself, and now he thought she would believe that he wished she had never left?   

 The sound of hurried footsteps on the gravelled path was getting closer and closer and she wanted to run, get on board at the first opportunity and disappear.    

‘PEN!’    

She abruptly turned round, her eyes full of tears, fury bubbling under the pure blue.   

‘How dare you! Do you even realise what I used to live through? Always on the edges of ballrooms, always hiding in plain sight? T o be just an extra in the lives of everyone around me? Especially for you and Eloise, I was nothing more than an accessory that complemented the background of your lives. Everything I've done, everything I am, is because I left because I became the protagonist of my life. I was nobody and nobody saw me.”  

“I saw you”’ Colin whispered quietly and to his shock,  she laughed , cold and dry .

“ When Mr Bridgerton? When did you decide to ignore my warnings about Marina? When you promised that you would protect me for the moments when I would be the laughing stock of your conversation with the so-called gentlemen? Or when you decided to ignore all propriety to the point where we were alone in a room without a chaperone?”  

Her eyes filled with tears.  

No, not here after so many years, her tears for Colin had dried up years ago.  

She took a deep breath through her nose before continuing with an icy calm.  

‘I find myself indisposed. Please pass on to your sister and the Duke my sincerest apologies. Good day”  

Before Colin could say anything, she was already on her way out of the garden.  

This time it was her eyes that filled with tears .

Chapter Text

The townhouse was alive with movement, and for Penelope the distraction was welcome.  

Servants came and went with furniture and textiles and kitchen supplies.  

She wanted to make sure that her house would be ready as soon as she returned from Aubrey Hall.  

 The study and the library were the only parts of the house that Alex had had furnished.   

The study was dark green in colour, the mouldings framing the walls in gold, the large windows flanking the carved oak desk behind it a portrait of Penelope in court dress that he had had painted when she turned twenty.   

On the right-hand side was a large Italian marble fireplace with a replica of Artemis and the doe at the other end, Hermes, patron god of writers.  

Facing the fireplace, a chaise lounge also in dark green.  

The library was linked to the study by connected doors, this one in lighter shades of beige and wood, the large glass windows letting in the light creating an almost divine aura.  

On the bookshelves a copy of all the books she had in their house in Bavaria, including all the ones she'd picked up on her travels  

All that made her miss him even more.  

Alex may not have been the love of her life, but he was the love she needed to mature.  

 After everything, she knew that he was irrevocably part of her, one of the most beautiful parts of her.  

‘Your Highness,’ the butler announced from the doorway, a small letter sitting delicately in the centre of the tray.  

A shiver ran down her spine .  

‘Thank you, James,’ he bowed and left.  

Time to act, the rat came out of hiding.  

Penelope sat down.  

 Already?  

 It was too early.  

She knew that with the increasing instability on the continent in the aftermath of the Napoleonic wars, alliances were necessary but precarious and the risk much greater given the tensions with Scotland and the still new alliance with Ireland.  

Penelope quickly replied to the letter, asking the butler to send a footman as soon as possible.  

 It's time.  

Colin was already settled in his quarters in Aubrey Hall. Penelope would be arriving that afternoon and he couldn't keep still.   

The last interaction between them played over and over in his mind.  

It was as if she had held a mirror up to his eyes and forced him to face the monster within.  

The selfish monster who had put his feelings for her to the back of his mind so that he could belong. Who had made her a beautiful bauble in his life for a long time.  

 Only seen and not adored.  

When she left he began to see her everywhere in the yellow linens of his bed, in the abandoned books on the settee.  

Even away from home, every place exhaled Penelope, from the beautiful Aegean Sea that reflected the blue of her eyes, to the sunset in Florence where red and orange danced before his eyes.  

 He had done nothing but conform to the role society dictated, he had never been a rake or a player, in fact he was seen only as the Charming One.  

His brothers had tried since he was old enough to take him to the brothels, and he never went.  

 With Marina the crush was on the attention she gave him because the one time she tried to touch him his whole body recoiled in protest.  

All these years he had tried to replicate the feeling of her eyes on his across the ballroom, or the delicious shiver after she whispered some sharp remark before they both laughed softly.  

He'd never come close, all the moments shared with other women were performative, the pleasure always outweighed the guilt, his rational side knew he couldn't betray what wasn't his.  

 But that's how it felt to betray her, especially when he found himself searching the ladies of the night for traces of her, her big, innocent eyes, her red hair, her pale complexion and her curvy body.  

Gradually Colin stopped looking, it was as if his desire was dying and his body was shutting down for lack of her.  

But since her return, his nights have become a turmoil.  

 Her haunting in his dreams became constant, her body and heart brought back to life with the force of a hundred rivers.  

 His hunger for her grew with every moment, his hunger for her smile and her attention. He would give anything to relive that night in the opera house.  

‘Sir, everything is ready,’ Colin nodded and the butler left.  

It was time to show Penelope that he could right the wrongs of the past and ultimately make her his wife.