Chapter 1: Uncanny Valley, Nevada
Chapter Text
When Lena thought of aliens, she pictured xenomorphs and flesh abominations like that thing from The Thing: vaguely man-ish shapes that make your brain go "Hey, I don't like that" because why does it share the same body plan as a human? Why is it trying to look like us? She was all over that uncanny valley-type shit. Invasion? Get that girl a baseball bat and some vaguely spherical objects and set her loose. Unleeess the aliens had plans to abolish capitalism - because then she'd switch up lickety-split. She was ready to bash in some billionaire brains (what little they had, heheh).
Lena never would've guessed alien cars. She didn't even think 'alien' when the door of the speed demon she giddily tried to get an autograph from opened to reveal no driver at all. The only thought running through her mind when a taser popped out of the dash was, Even the cars are opps, followed by, Jean's gonna be so pissed. Her skateboard clattered to the pavement as her body fell limp into the idling sports car. A melodious beep-beep, beep, beep-beep twittered from the watch around her limp wrist, falling silent after another light zap.
"Ohh, I'm so fragged," said the sports car. "Breakdown, how mad do you think Lord Crazy-eyes will be if I show up with a fleshie?"
Had Lena known she'd get abducted that night, she would've at least packed a sweater. Or, y'know, avoided it altogether. Catching up to the shmancy red racer with those hard-as-hell yellow rims after he dusted everyone else probably wasn't the smartest move, but excitement had won over caution. Her foster parents would be giving her the most baffled reactions if they knew, and then another conversation about impulsive thoughts that should stay thoughts and, "Where is your survival instinct, pastelita? Look: you're already giving me greys."
The day had started good. Correction: decent, considering it was hot as balls and she had a math test. On a Friday. Lena shambled through her morning routine and tied back her side-swept hair to avoid brushing it. Her baseball cap covered the shaved side, proudly displaying the number 04 stitched above the red brim. Wyatt emerged from his bedroom, a similar case of bedhead making his brown curls wilder than usual. His casual formalwear was more put-together than he, and would remain so because brushing was for dumb losers, probably.
Jean, notably not dumb or a loser, had pulled her hair up into a thick bun of dark waves; a colourful bandana laid overtop. Remarkedly more effort, made obvious by the minimal effort of matching with work overalls.
Jean squinted and gestured to Lena's hair. "You're leaving so much out. What's even the point of putting it up?"
"I like it," Lena drowsily defended, flicking her head aside to adjust the free chunk of blonde hair framing one side of her face. "It's cool."
"'Cool' when we were your age meant being able to see your whole field of vision. Eesh, at least clip it back - how do you expect to see the ball like that?" Lena responded with a shrug and Jean exhaled in a huff. "Alright, pastelita, get your 'cool'-lata in the car." Jean carried out her husband's mobility aid and said, "You want your cane, hon?"
"Eh, might as well," Wyatt said whilst fighting a yawn. "My knee doesn't want me dead today."
The three of them piled into the car and Jean pulled onto the road. Lena decided now was a good time.
"I was gonna go to the skate park after practice," she announced.
Jean glanced at her in the mirror. There went the eyebrows. "For how long?"
"Couple'a hours."
"Uh-huh." And the dubious tone...
"Promise I'll be back before dark! And Jaiden and the other skaters are gonna be there. I won't forget again."
Wyatt twisted around to see Lena better. "That's fine. Just set your watch, 'kay? Seven o'clock. I better hear that front door open before seven thirty or I'll sic Jean on you."
"Like a sack of potatoes," Jean said. The car's engine rumbled fiercely as they paused at the stop light, amplifying her threat.
Remembering last time - and the times before that - Lena's face contorted. A set of rapid nods turned her into a great impersonation of a bobblehead. "Yep. Yep. Seven. Understood." She set the alarm on her vibrantly pink watch under Wyatt's scrutiny. It beeped. He smiled, satisfied, and settled properly in his seat.
Lena helped Wyatt extract his walker from the trunk and Jean drove off with a goodbye that was far more cheerful than anyone should be this early in the morning. It was pay day, wasn't it? Lena should ask Wyatt to sneak her some coffee from the break room. He caved easy.
Wyatt went through the side door up the ramp while Lena trudged her way toward the main entrance of the school. He was thrilled for class, which made one of them. Only he could make computers and programming somehow fun. Other students waited on the sparse lawn and parking lot of Jasper Memorial High School, walking in early like punctual weirdos or loitering like her. Lena dropped her backpack and stepped onto her board, rolling around the tiny parking lot. She sourly eyed the spot of the missing bench, removed for exactly the reason one might think. Lena mourned the sick moves she got off that metal bench.
Lena spotted a kid from class studying and groaned. She'd skip, but she didn't want to disappoint her foster parents like that again. She cringed when she recalled the first time she did skip - or, rather, the first time they became aware she'd skipped - back when she wouldn't bat an eye because what did they care? They just wanted a cheque from the state like every other family that tried to claim they 'Just want what's best for you' and then sent her back when what she wanted didn't fit those rigid little boxes.
The devastated looks on Jean and Wyatt's faces when thirteen-year-old Lena exploded at them was forever burned into her memory. She'd ran afterward, down the driveway and into the night, no destination in mind. And then Jean had found her, curled up on a kiddie slide. Lena faintly remembered the confusion of seeing Jean exit the vehicle, the tentative hope when Jean sat on the slide beside her and just... listened. No adult had ever listened to her before. That was the night Lena knew they were for real. Lena couldn't call them parents - she might never utter the words 'Mom' or 'Dad' - and that was okay. The cool couple that saw a feral pre-teen and said, "That's the one" was good enough for her. They joked about wanting a kid, but not the stress of pregnancy or toddler years. "Pre-baked," Wyatt had once teased.
Lena's hip bleeped. She paused her skating to fish out the hungry Tamagotchi clipped to her cargo pants. She'd made it her mission to care for the digital pet since Mi-
"Leee!" a voice squealed, followed by a pair of arms wrapping around her waist. "Hi!"
Hey, speaking of!
"Hi," Lena greeted with a big smile on her face. "Plans still solid?"
Lena heard Miko's grin. "Oh, yeah. I'm so pumped. Weekend Wreck-fest is in. The. Bag! I got Raf to download basically every slasher and horror onto a USB for me." Miko dangled the USB in Lena's face, and Lena stored it in her pocket.
Lena said, "Suh-weet! Jean's letting us have the garage. We're gonna move the TV and couch in."
"Uh, don'tcha mean Jean is gonna move them?"
"Hey, I got muscle!" Lena flexed her arms, squishy with stubborn baby fat. Miko poked an unimpressive bicep. "These babies got me top batter."
"Is that even a real title?"
"It totally is."
"Okay, 'batter baby'."
"Batt- what?"
"Nothing, baby, what's the batter with you?"
Lena scoffed out a laugh and spun around to gently bop Miko on her massive forehead. "Dude," Lena said, "that was so bad."
"So bad it's good?"
"No, just bad." Lena playfully pushed Miko away and kicked off on her skateboard. "Where are you getting these, Puns 101 for Dummies? You gotta step up your game, dude."
Miko trailed after Lena, a bubbly bound to her gait. "Hey, I'm always at the top of my game!" A loud-ass horn honked and Miko spun around to wave enthusiastically at the green SUV. "See ya later! Put some dents in those junkheaps for me." Its headlights flashed, then Miko's friend drove off.
Lena was wary of the guy at first, but she'd never seen Miko so ecstatic as the few months she'd known him. Military, Miko had said, and then snickered when Lena mimed gagging herself.
"Not American military," Miko had clarified before going off about something else.
Lena had spoken to the SUV's owner a couple times. He went by the nickname Bulk and seemed genuine enough, nothing sinister on the surface. Friendly and loud - songs Lena recognized often blared from the speakers when he picked Miko up for sci-fi club. A goofball, and the kind of energy that got along with Miko's like a house fire. Lena was just glad Miko was making friends. Small town middle-of-nowhere America was super rough, especially for a foreign kid who couldn't fit in, and who didn't want to. A flash of orange hair caught Lena's eye. She met Vince's bitter gaze and put her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead, sticking out her tongue for good measure. He sneered and turned back to his buddies. Lena smirked.
The bell rang. Kids funneled into the building. Lena made it halfway to homeroom before she had to navigate backwards against the sea of teenagers to fetch her forgotten backpack. She collapsed into her chair just as the pledge and national anthem started over the PA system. As per usual, Lena remained in her seat. Also per usual, the teacher glared at her. Lena passive-aggressively adjusted her baseball cap, drawing attention to the pins clustered on it that sported all sorts of slogans, notably the one that declared, LAND ISN'T FREE. Yeah, none of the teachers liked her. But Lena wasn't here to be liked. Supposedly, she was here for an education. In a system that squashed individuality and trained students to sit down, shut up, memorize, and obey.
Out of the corner of her eye, Lena spotted Miko doodling in her sketchbook. Lena texted a sequence of emojis embodying all the joy Lena couldn't contain (unamused, several Z's, sleepy). Miko replied, equally as zealous (sick, skull, ghost).
"Girls! Phones away!" the teacher barked over announcements, tapping a ruler on her desk. "Do I need to take them?"
Lena shot over one more emoji (barf) before tucking her phone away and exchanging it for a textbook to inanely flick through, one knee persistently jiggling as it so frequently did the moment she became idle. She glanced at the clock, which hadn't moved in five minutes. Lena leaned back, suppressing a groan. The day could not be over soon enough.
Soon enough, the day was over. Thank fuck.
School dragged on and on and on, the only reprieve being lunch - when she got to lounge around with Miko at their spot - and gym class, where Lena was able to go batshit during dodgeball and climb on things that were actually meant to be climbed on (trees didn't count, according to faculty). Lena had softball practice after, and boy, was she glad Jean made her carry around a tube of sunscreen. Whoof, that Nevada sun would kill a man. Miko hung around to cheer her on and snap some pics of Lena eating dirt to touch base. Those were going in the scrapbook, for sure. A shower and chugged water bottle later and Lena was off to the skate park. Miko's ride whisked her away, her cries of, "Don't miss me too much!" on the wind. Miko hung out the SUV window, dramatically reaching for Lena like some cheesy romance flick. Lena tried to keep up on her board, and when it was time to split off, blew Miko a kiss that was caught and turned into devil horns.
Jaiden and her gang were chilling on the play structures when Lena rolled up. Jaiden and Kayla were perched atop and hanging upside-down from the spiderweb dome, respectively. Kayla spotted her first and beckoned her over.
"How's it goin', fireball?" said Tami.
"Hello, Padawan. Welcome to my zen zone," Vee said from the ground, flat on their back under a tree and beanie pulled over their eyes. The distinct scent of weed hung around Vee. Lena claimed the free swing next to Tami, who was being pushed by Theo. The group chatted. Theo made the executive decision to skate, and they all migrated over to the cement playground that served as Jasper's skate park. Jaiden, Lena, and Tami joined him while Vee and Kayla spectated, conversation topics leaping to and fro at the whims of neurodivergent teenagers.
"Yo, Lena, you hear about the race later tonight?" Jaiden said.
Suffice it to say, Lena did not stay at the park. The race location was scribbled in her science notebook, which had also coincidentally become a second doodle book for Miko. She rolled till the dirt roads forced her to kick it on foot, board strapped to her backpack.
Honk-honk!
A bright blue muscle car rumbled past. Lena trotted after it. The older teens that she stuck to like a determined burr had no interest in street races, but they kept an ear out for Lena, who absolutely did. She found the small crowd huddled around and the line-up of vehicles raring to go. Lena preferred being early to ogle at the cars and mingle, but she was happy just to be there. She recognized most of the faces. Street races were one of few recreational activities in Jasper, and they happened every other week if you knew the right people. Considering everyone knew everyone, you'd be hard-pressed not to have at least heard about it.
The blue muscle car sat in its spot, driver cool as a cucumber as she leaned on the door and chatted to whomever. Lena eyeballed the woman's cropped leather jacket and unbothered, confident demeanour. She found herself leaning against a rickety wooden fencepost, totally not mimicking the badass in blue (dammit, she totally was). The driver noticed her and smiled. For some reason, Lena's face heated up.
She called Lena over. "Hey, kid! Nice board. You get that custom done?"
"Yup," said Lena. "I love your car." And your jacket.
"Ah, thanks. Ritika's my baby; I built her from the ground up. You like racing?"
"I love racing. The speed and the- augh, the, y'know, the everything. Boom! Wah-cha!" Combined with pantomimed punches, Lena filled in the blanks. "The whole feeling."
"Ha, yeah, I getcha. Hey, you know what? I'm part of a racing league. We're always looking for new players. If you're interested someday- dhhatt. You got a pen, kid?"
"Lena," Lena said, digging a pencil out of her bag.
"Lena? Thanks for comin' out to cheer me on. My name's Sharwa." Sharwa scribbled on a wrinkled scrap of paper and passed it on. "That's our business number. Hit us up if racing for profit - or just for the hell of it - strikes your fancy. Finish school first, though, huh? Get your education. Don't wanna be a dropout like me."
I wish, Lena thought. Someone yelled; they were about to begin. Lena went to join the crowd of onlookers, but the glossy red sports car pulling up to the function stopped her in her tracks. Lena gawked. Purple flame decals embellished its crimson flanks and eye-sore yellow rims distinguished it from the rest of the competition. Sharwa called out to the driver; Lena didn't hear the reply. Sharwa was grinning. Oh, shit, did they have a rivalry going on? Racing drama!?
Lena inched closer.
"Give it your best shot," oozed a roguish masculine voice, punctuated by a rich rev of his engine. "Victory tastes so much sweeter when they try."
Sharwa laughed. "Put your pedal where your mouth is, batuni."
"Oh, I will."
Racing drama. Cool.
Engines growled. Spectators cheered. The starter raised their hat. Lena held her breathe.
The hat dropped. Dust billowed up in thick clouds as cars roared to life. Lena held her cap in place. Her eyes stung, but she couldn't look away from the beasts tearing up the road, becoming shrinking shapes on the impromptu racetrack. The setting sun burned red on the sand, transforming the desert into a sea of rust. Or blood. Lena scampered over to a cluster of boulders and scaled them. She watched, enraptured. The racers completed one lap, and there was a noticeable lead.
The red car seized a strong first. Chasing his tail was Sharwa and third place, the rest of the pack lagging behind. Red slowed down - or Sharwa caught up? - and then the 180 happened.
Red spun around, keeping his speed and maintaining his position backwards. It was the single most peacocky maneuver Lena had seen, and she was living for it. She wasn't big on NASCAR or actual cars: this is what she loved. Being in the moment, feeling the wind on her skin and the excitement in her veins. It was the thrill she chased when she rolled down steep ramps and pulled a risky stunt mid-air. It was the feeling of rejecting limits and just going for it.
The moment red finished first was the same moment the cops showed up.
"Scatter!" someone shouted, but the crowd had already dispersed. Lena dropped from her watchtower and bolted in the same direction as the victor. Cracked pavement replaced packed dirt and Lena jumped onto her board. Distant sirens wailed behind her. Shadows elongated. Lights of Jasper blinked in the low glow of dusk. Lena caught up to the taillights, to her surprise. Possible introductions ran through her head.
"Hey!" The car jolted in response. Did she startle him? "Wait up!" He sped up, and Lena yelled, "You were awesome back there! Nobody even stood a chance!"
He slowed to a crawl. Lena beamed and kicked her board up into her hands. The car's windows were tinted almost black.
"Hmm. Do go on about how awesome I am," he said.
Lena appealed to his ego with genuine compliments. He was receptive, but that changed when Lena asked him to sign her skateboard. If a car could recoil, this one would. Audible disgust dripped from his tone.
"Keep your primitive twig on wheels to yourself," he said. "There's enough filth clinging to my paint already."
Lena wrinkled her nose. "A 'no' would've worked just fine. Jeez, man. You a dick to all your fans?"
"Just the whiny ones."
Lena wasn't about to let that slide. "Alright. Why don't you come out and say that to my face like a grown-ass man?"
Now, Lena... well, she never claimed to be a genius, but picking a fight with a random man on the outskirts of town - illuminated overhead by a sketchy streetlight - would be obvious to anyone as a bad idea. If this was a horror movie, she'd be yelling at the idiot on-screen to get the fuck outta dodge. Lena, however, functioned on two modes: chilling, and throwing herself at the closest douchebag. Her street cred was insane. So when she rapped on the nearly opaque window, she expected some guy to step out and underestimate her because what could a fifteen-year-old do to him? But nobody did. She cupped a hand around her eyes to peer inside.
The wind was knocked out of her when the door flew open. She stumbled, then rounded the door to confront the-
There was no one inside the vehicle.
A taser shot out of the dashboard and delivered a hearty zap! between her eyes. She toppled forward. A seatbelt snaked around her and hauled her awkwardly into the seat.
Lena's watch beeped. 7:00 lit up the digital display.
Getting kidnapped was probably a good reason for missing curfew, right?
Chapter 2: Too-Close Encounters
Summary:
Lena's stuck on a spaceship. Now what?
Notes:
CHAPTER TWO RAHGHGHG BITING THE WALLS OF MY ENCLOSURE CHEWING DRYWALL RAGHAGR
hi. drink water and have a snack :]
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lena ran for her life. She knew better than to look back and focused instead on her breath and the next step of her half-baked escape.
Fuck, okay, she didn't have a next step: 'get away' was as far as she got. Colossal corridors stretched as far as she could see, splitting off in confusing twists and turns that made her feel like a rat in a maze. A gloomy purple glow lit her way. If she wasn't in such egregiously deep shit, she'd be gushing over the colour scheme. And the fact that giant robots were after her. Actually, scratch that last bit - she still wasn't sure this wasn't an incredibly realistic dream. Robots patrolled the halls, each one a copy of the last. Their steps rattled her bones. Lena ducked behind extrusions in the walls, staring fearfully as the metal titans walked on. Sweat glued loose hair to her face. Ugh, why didn't she listen to Jean? She did her best to tuck it under her hat while she ran.
Voices approached. Huffing and puffing, Lena ducked into her usual spot, grateful for a rest. The robots didn't make a habit of looking down. With any luck, she should be-
The floor disappeared right out from under her.
For a brief moment, she hung in the air, weightless. She was reminded of a Wile E. Coyote skit. The ground rushed up to meet her and Lena had that brief moment to decide how painful she wanted the landing to be. Good thing she had experience with that.
Lena shielded her head as she threw herself into a sloppy roll. Her ankles ached as they absorbed the brunt of the fall. She sprawled on the cold floor, taking time to catch her breath. Ow, okay, it wasn't a dream. Where was she now? Gazing up at the ceiling, it seemed to be a vent or channel of some sort. It was still massive. Heavy footsteps rumbled by. Lena recognized one of the voices.
"-can't get far. Why don't we ask Soundwave to find it?"
"We can't ask Soundwave! He'll tell Lord Megatron, and then I'm scrapped because I brought a fleshie on-board and lost it."
"Okay, okay. Let's split up. Cover more ground, right?"
"Right."
Phew. Saved by the convenient gap in the floor. Lena waved a middle finger vaguely in the direction of her captor, then pulled herself up. Where did she go from here? Vents led everywhere, and there was a 1000% guarantee of her getting more lost. Tape would be nice, or spray paint. Lena checked her backpack. She took a swig from her water bottle. She slipped the switchblade into her pocket, and discovered something else inside. From her pocket, Lena drew the Tamagotchi and USB stick Miko gave to her, both still intact. She clutched the USB in her fist. Sorry, Meeks. Weekend Wreck-fest's gonna have to wait. The digital pet whined and she fumbled to shut it off again. Mo was hungry. She stowed him and the flashdrive safely in her bag. She checked her phone again. Still no signal. Battery? Manageable. Barely an hour had passed since that flashy dickhead kidnapped her.
Lena started walking. She used her knife to etch notches and arrows in the walls. Running for her life got boring once running left the equation. She rewatched Alien in her head. Maybe Ripley would have some tips for her.
It was cold. Goosebumps sprouted all over her arms and she rubbed them futilely. She never thought she would miss the stifling heat of the desert. On top of that, she skipped dinner and her stomach wasn't letting her forget it. Lena dug out the baggie of goldfish crackers to munch on.
Her undisturbed hike couldn't last forever.
"Decepticons!" snarled the P.A. system. "Knock Out has foolishly set a human loose upon this ship! Catch it, and bring it to me."
Looks like they told Soundwave. What a snitch.
Lena picked up the pace. Her boots thudded on solid metal. A ship. A freaking spaceship? She was operating on the impression they were at ground level, or inside a mountain maybe, but space? The Alien reference was just jokes. How was she supposed to get home? Finding an exit was pointless if there wasn't even a chance of getting back to her own planet.
"C'mon, think, think, think," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing her palms to her head. She growled. Ugh, she was never good at making plans. Lena's trek continued. Robots trampled overhead, every one of them combing the ship for her. She clambered into a smaller offshoot vent. It'd be harder to get her in there.
A high-pitched droning sound trilled somewhere inside the ship. It stopped, and Lena disregarded it. Some minutes later, she turned a corner and came face-to-face with what she could only describe as a giant paper airplane. Like everything else in this hellscape, it was made of metal. A glowing pink strip of light sat in what could be a face. The thing oddly reminded her of a bird. There was that high-pitched noise again - and it was coming from the origami X-wing. Hearing it clearly, Lena decided it was more of a warble, and it cemented in her mind that this, indeed, was a big-ass bird. Lena channeled her inner Jean and inched closer to the oversized pigeon.
"Hey there, big bird," she said. "You lost? I don't have any treats..." What did it eat? Electronics? Lena banished the thought of her priceless possessions and extended an arm. The bird's four- no, six wings wavered. "Hi, bud. You're kinda cute. 'm not gonna hurtcha. It's okay." Two little t-rex arms stuck out below the V-shaped visor. They were alarmingly sharp, but didn't so much as twitch at her approach. Lena put away her knife. The bird didn't have eyes, but Lena felt it watching her all the same. When her palm met warm metal, she smiled. "Heya, birdie. Wanna keep me company down here? We can be lost together." She patted the metal, making her way to the seams where wings met the body. It shook itself like a dog, then sank down on its landing gear with a hiss of hydraulics. Its presence was comforting, and the warmth it radiated was a welcome change. Birdie didn't seem to mind. She talked to it, explaining how she ended up here and reminiscing about home. About Earth, really. Her odds weren't looking good. She missed her friends, her foster parents. She missed Miko.
Birdie jolted and Lena flinched. "What's up? Hey-"
Two purple cables snaked from Birdie's chest. They wrapped around Lena before she could retrieve her knife. She fought the constricting grip, spitting curses and even trying to slip free of her backpack, to no effect. Birdie carried her out of the vents and into the open. Cables dangled her over a bone-shattering drop to the floor. Mechanical heads turned as the pair whizzed by, a doppler effect of colourful swearing leaving bystanders bewildered. Lena did not stop struggling, even as the backstabbing bird flew into an enormous room lined with windows and giant computer monitors.
A slender blue robot stood sentry, bearing a blank screen for a face. It reached out.
"Nuh-uh! Get your creepy ass away from me!" Lena shouted, kicking at spindly fingers as she fell into its hand. Lena gaped when Birdie's body shifted and integrated with her latest captor, fitting neatly into its chest. A built-in bird spy!
Cool.
The robot carted her off to another, more imposing robot. This second one was tall with massive shoulders that were spiky as hell, and the whole of it a boring silver compared to the rest of them. That wasn't a huge compliment considering 99% were the exact same model, and Lena wondered who designed them and decided what the robots looked like because these were some badass designs. They must have a lot of money...
Oh, no.
"Soo, Navy? CIA? Department of Defense? I'm not a threat. I'm just a high-schooler. Oh, cool symbol, bro. You get that trademarked?"
Big Man™ side-eyed Bird Man. "Summon Knock Out. I will know why there is a human on my warship, and why my forces have been scouring the halls for it."
"-their burgers because that shit is greasy. The milkshakes, though, they've gotta be putting crack in those things. The fries are always kinda-sorta soggy and it ruins the whole experience."
"And quiet its incessant nattering."
A squeeze to Lena's torso sent her into a coughing fit. Yeah, yeah, shut up - she got the message. She planned not to speak till Knock Out joined them, but dots connected in her brain and she couldn't stop herself from blurting, "So, you're Megatron."
Megatron's comically large eyebrow twitched. Lena bit her cheek to keep the laughter in.
Heavy footsteps clump-clump-clumped into the room. Familiar red metal covered the new robot, and a familiar voice came from a porcelain white face. "My Lord! My deepest apologies. I- I was just, ah, about to inform you, My Liege, of my thesis!"
Megatron bared shark-like teeth. "And what, pray tell, is that?" Oho, he was pissed!
Knock Out fumbled for an answer. Megatron's features narrowed. His hands squeezed into creaking fists.
"I grow tired of impertinence, Knock Out. Whatever excuse you may come up with does not excuse your unauthorized jaunt off this ship, nor why you saw fit to bring a human aboard it!"
A fist raised. Lena winced, ready for the impact.
Megatron pointed a clawed finger at Knock Out. "You will not leave this ship until I command it. Do I make myself clear?"
Knock Out bowed his head. "Crystal, My Liege."
"Good. Now, dispose of the human. Soundwave cannot be distracted from his duties cleaning up your messes."
They're gonna kill me, Lena thought. Knock Out stepped closer. The spindly fingers restraining her tightened, and Lena knew she had to do something.
"Hey, we can work something out!" she called, looking right at the steely leader with the ridiculous eyebrows. Her mind raced, filling in a mental cork board with what little string she had. "You don't get around humans much, huh? And the government probably knows you're here, right? You don't have as much freedom as you'd like."
Megatron's expression did not change. Despite the cold, Lena was sweating.
She said, "I'd be a great asset to your team. I have experience in the field and solid references. I'm great at people management and perform well under pressure. My hours are flexible and I'm a hard worker. Mister Lord Megatron, have you considered how useful a human could be to your, uh, team? You have an opportunity to learn insider information about Earth and pass undercover. Nobody suspects the little white girl. Plus, I can sneak into, like, so many places." She smiled unnervingly wide and spread her arms like a greasy car salesman, or like a weirdo asking for a hug. "Don't flush me, I help you. Whaddya say?"
Megatron blinked very slowly. His gaze shifted to something above her. Lena craned her head back. Soundwave's screen face displayed an image, but the angle was too steep for Lena to make out the full picture. She looked to Megatron as he made a thoughtful sound. She tried to appear cool and collected and not totally desperate, channeling her inner Jean.
"The Autobots' pets do offer the rare edge," Megatron said, "but as much as they're a weakness. What upper-hand does one pathetic organic offer me?"
"Ah, My Liege, if I may?" piped up Knock Out. Megatron's glare asserted that he very much may not, but Knock Out continued: "The pieces of holoform technology we currently have are not sufficient enough to patrol populated areas. Keeping a low profile and having our own fleshie to blend in would put us on equal footing with the Autobots, er, not that we aren't, the Autobots are trembling in their..." Knock Out's speech lost ground the longer Megatron silently stared, 'til Knock Out clamped his metal mouth shut and awkwardly pursed his lips.
"Soundwave," said Megatron, "what are your thoughts?"
Lena jumped when she heard Megatron's voice behind her, staticky and warped.
"Autobots' pets do offer- weakness," said Soundwave. "Autobots- care too much. Our own fleshie- expendable. A human could be- a great asset. We- have an opportunity. Information- blend in- plus, I can sneak into, like, so many places."
Lena shivered at hearing her own voice repeated back. Creepy. This had to be their tech guy. "Can you do music?" Lena quietly asked him, with no reply.
Megatron hummed. Knock Out scoffed, and Lena caught him doing a quick eye roll. It was funny, in an 'I could die at any moment in a space soap opera' way.
"Yes," Megatron said. "The Autobots are attached to their pets, and that is their greatest flaw. Perhaps there is some use to be squeezed out of these creatures." Red eyes flicked to Lena. She squared her shoulders. Megatron sneered. "Or none. Knock Out, since you saw fit to bring the human aboard, you will monitor it. Soundwave will assign it where he sees fit. Keep it out of my sight."
Megatron turned away, and that was meeting over. Lena would live! Well, maybe - she'd enlisted herself in some sci-fi robot army, but hey, at least it wasn't the American army! Probably; Lena was still holding on to these being aliens.
"Hi," she said to the robot holding her, "how you doin'? Soundwave, right? Sick name. Call me Lenny. No, wait, sorry, actually call me Lena. I was trying out a nickname and I just cringed so bad. Who's your favourite final girl?"
Soundwave passed her to Knock Out. Sharp fingers bigger than Lena's whole body closed around her, and she struggled fruitlessly. There was no getting out, and she knew that, but giving up felt like defeat.
Lena twisted to keep Soundwave in her sight as Knock Out stomped out of the room. "Mine's Ripley. Close second is Carrie!"
"Don't you have an off switch?" Knock Out complained, giving her a little shake. Lena braced herself on the hand, then scowled up at him.
"Yeah, I've got one right here." She aimed a middle finger at his face.
Knock Out curled his lip. "Reeal original, squishy. Try it again and see what happens. I've been meaning to test my surgical tools on a fleshbag."
Lena didn't try it again. Much as she wanted to, she did not want to discover how genuine he was being even more. Any other attempts at conversation were shut down. Knock Out was sick of her, and some part of her took spiteful joy in it. The other part was her survival instinct, and it told her to shut up for her own sake. Satisfaction wasn't worth getting squished, as Knock Out so frequently liked to threaten. Megatron didn't give a shit whether she lived or not, and neither would Knock Out. She had no allies here. Lena was alone. She hugged her arms. The robot's grasp wasn't cold.
A massive door shwoosh'd open. Inside were to-scale medical beds and tables. Another robot was pacing a trench in the floor, blue and bulky with an orange face and yellow eyes. Lena had to double-take at the impressive size of its rack.
"Well?" he prompted. "How did it go?"
"Terrible," said Knock Out. "I'm grounded. Forbidden from the ground, rather."
"Oh. That's not too bad. Could be worse, right?"
Knock Out carelessly dropped Lena on a table. He turned to his companion, one hand on his hip. Lena stumbled and righted herself. The blue bot stared at her as if finally registering her presence.
"You're right," said Knock Out. "We have also been assigned babysitting duty. Can you believe it, Breakdown?" He scoffed. "I used to be respected."
Breakdown said, "Wait, Megatron really let you keep it? What did he say?"
"He's giving it a job. As if a human could actually be useful to us!"
"You said yourself I could be useful," Lena accused.
Knock Out peered down at her. "To save my own paint. Do you really think you, a puny, squishy little... thing can help the Decepticon cause?"
Lena threw her arms wide. "I don't know! Can I? I said that shit to save my skin, too! You were literally going to kill me."
"Tch. See? Useless."
"Wh- yeah, hey, why did you even take me in the first place? You kidnapped me. I have- I have a home, and friends, and you just stole me away from that!"
Sarcastic, Knock Out said, "Oh, how well and good for you."
"No! No! Because you stole me! What, just to kill me in the end? Because I- 'cause I fucking looked in a car window? What the fuck, man!" Lena wanted to kick something, or throw something, to release the anger boiling under her skin. She ripped off her hat and threw it to her feet. She repeatedly clasped and unclasped her hands, itching for something to break, but there was nothing. The table was pristine; not even a speck of dust. Lena marched the length of the table. She marched back, picked up her hat, and put it on. The robots wordlessly observed.
"Take me back," Lena demanded.
"Uh?" said Breakdown.
"Take me home."
"No," said Knock Out.
"Why not?"
"His Lordship's orders. You stay here until you get an assignment. Want to take it up with him?"
Lena stewed silently. She chewed her cheek.
"Mhm. You're stuck here, and I'm stuck with you. Pity for the both of us. Breakdown, be a dear and help me clean up? I never got the chance after someone decided to run off and lead us on a wild juice chase."
"Sure thing," replied Breakdown. He walked away.
"It's 'wild goose chase'," Lena bitterly said.
"Goose? Why would we be chasing goose? You made that up."
"Why would you be chasing juice?"
"Energon, obviously."
"What the fuck is that?"
"Ugh. Nevermind. Stop talking. My processing power decreases every time you open your gross, fleshie mouth."
Notes:
knock out: the human could be useful
megatron: shut up. i need a better opinion
soundwave: "the human could be useful"
megatron: hm yes good point soundwave
knock out: D:<
Chapter 3: Patients
Summary:
Lena asks for help (and gets some advice).
Chapter Text
Lena huddled on top of a giant computer terminal. Her backpack sat in her lap and her arms were tucked inside her t-shirt. The computer was warm; she leeched what meagre heat she could. She watched the robots come and go; there was a revolving door of purple guys with problems for Knock Out and Breakdown to fix - mostly Knock Out. No one questioned her presence. She got a few glances from featureless helmets, but that was the extent of it. So long as she stayed out of their way, the robots just plain ignored her. That was probably the best possible outcome: she wasn't yet cooked by a lazer or shot out an airlock. Nobody was breathing down her neck or watching her every move.
Lena's stomach wrung painfully. It was well past suppertime. The goldfish crackers didn't go far and were so salty that she finished her water. Lena was in an enormous pickle and there was really only one thing she could do about it: ask her captors for help.
Lena rolled her eyes into the back of her skull and growled in frustration.
Nearby, Knock Out blinked like he'd forgotten she existed. He ripped his focus from the massive tablet in his massive hands. He was already annoyed, sneering and saying, "What is-" Knock Out cut himself off. His eyes went huge. He exclaimed, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
Lena squinted, wrinkling her nose and mouth. Well, since he asked - Lena listed, "I'm cold and I'm hungry and I'm thirsty and I want to go home!"
The last part came out as a shout. She didn't realize it came out at all till she was refilling her lungs with a deep breath. Her arms snaked out of her sleeves to wipe her eyes, which brimmed hotly but did not spill.
Lena was prepared for him to get angry, to threaten to squish her again (or to finally do it). Instead, Knock Out went "Oh!" and threw his head back, pinching two fingers between his eyes. He shook his head and said, "Obviously. Yes, food, water, of course. That is what's wrong. Breakdown! I'm sending you on an errand!" To himself, Knock Out muttered, "...don't just fall off. Ridiculous."
Lena put together what Knock Out was hung up on, and it was just outrageous enough for her to burst into delirious giggles.
Knock Out faced her. Snidely, he said, "What are you laughing at? Aren't you currently dying?"
"Did you-" Lena sucked in a breath; it came out as a wheezing, "Did you think my arms fell off?!"
"Of course not!" Knock Out sharply denied, cutting his claws through the air and curling them at his side. "That would be ridiculous. Preposterous! Stop that right now!"
Lena sucked her cheeks between her teeth. You can die here, looped through her brain, killing all humour in the moment. Nothing around Lena felt real. She was struggling to place herself in the actual events happening around her. She kept waiting for something - for the dream to end, for the simulation to crack, anything - but the thump of her pulse in her ears and the stiff cold in her limbs were very much real. She could die. She had to remind herself of that. This was no video game. There were no do-overs. If she pissed these giant robots off, there was only one ending for her. Lena's chances of seeing her family again were slim - but to have any chance at all, she must survive. She had to.
Breakdown lumbered in from a side room. "You called?"
Knock Out flurried over to him. "Yes! Yes, I did. I have a task for you. The human needs supplies and you are going to get them."
Breakdown pulled a face. "Awh, why me?"
"Because I'm stuck on the ship, Breakdown - did you forget?"
"Naw, just- can't we send a vehicon?"
"Psh! A vehicon won't know a sandwich from a soda can!" Breakdown pursed his metal lips and nodded along. By the tint of panic in his solid yellow eyes, Lena suspected he didn't, either. Knock Out continued: "Soundwave knows you're on your way. Just head to the command deck and he'll-"
"Can I come with?" Lena blurted.
Breakdown's expression went blank. Knock Out paused for a second before saying, "...ask Soundwave."
"Can't you ask him?"
"I could. But I don't want to. Why don't you tag along with Breakdown to the bridge, hm? Since you like to run your motor-mouth so much. I'm sure Soundwave would love to hear it."
Lena took offense. She didn't show it. She unfolded from her huddle and slung her backpack over her shoulders, simply stating, "Okay."
Knock Out's mouth opened and shut. He blinked and said, "Alright, then." Tauntingly, he crooned, "Good luuck!"
Lena peered at the far-away floor. She looked to the robots, but neither were interested in helping her down. Breakdown was already off and Knock Out returned to his tablet - purposefully ignoring her. Lena harrumphed. She shimmied over the edge of the console. It didn't have legs to slide down like a fireman's pole, so she made do with the ridges and seams that let her hands find purchase. Out of the corner of her eye, Lena caught a glimpse of Knock Out's bright red irises observing her. When she turned her head, he pretended he wasn't. Lena stuck her tongue out. He tapped away on his tablet, no reaction. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction - not after humiliating himself the way he did. Lena would keep that in her back pocket. Who knows? A little blackmail might come in handy.
Lena sprinted to catch up. Each of Breakdown's long strides put so much distance between her and the metal titan. Lena wasn't sure if he knew she was there, switching between a light jog and a brisk walk to keep up with him. Her bones rattled every time his ginormous feet clashed with the floor. Lena craned her neck back. They were all so tall - she didn't even reach his knee. An image of Lena jumping to slap his knee like a doorframe entered Lena's head. She shook it out.
Lena received significantly more looks than she did back in the repair bay. Purple guys did double-takes and stared unabashedly when they passed. Breakdown greeted the other robots politely, getting 'hello's and 'evening, sir's in reply. Still, nobody said a word about the girl following their commanding officer like a duckling. The parallel made Lena smirk.
Lena couldn't say what was going through her head, but the next clone that passed, Lena raised a hand and waved. "Hey," she chirped. "Working hard or hardly working, am I right?"
Breakdown's steps faltered but did not stop. The clone, however, went still. Apprehension ballooned in Lena's ribcage. Was that a mistake? Crap, she should've stayed quiet. Her smile cracked, showing too many teeth as she cringed.
"What did you say to me?" a dark voice said.
"Um." Lena didn't stop, either, but she did face the clone trooper. Their lack of face was unsettling. "It's a joke. Workin' hard or hardly working? Ha. Yeah, it's-" Lena flapped her hands like she was trying to pluck an answer from thin air. She resigned herself and shrugged. "I dunno. Just a funny thing to say to someone."
The clone didn't speak again. Lena spun and ran to catch up with Breakdown. She felt her face growing hot, but she played it off, shoving her hands in her pockets and holding her chin high. They traveled without another word for a long stretch. There was nobody else around.
"Watch who you go blabbing at," grumbled Breakdown. Lena stared at the tire treads embedded in his calves. "Lotta somebodies who would happily squish you."
"Hm, sounds like someone else I know," Lena muttered, not trying to hide it.
"No, Knock Out would never." There was a momentary pause. Clunk, clunk, was the sound Breakdown's heavy trampling made. He added, "He wouldn't wanna get your insides on him."
Breakdown's tone was dead serious. That made it even funnier to Lena. She snorted, hard, and cackled into her palm.
Breakdown stopped. Lena stopped just short of bumping into his leg. His torso twisted. He lifted his arm to peek down at her between the gap of his elbow and his voluptuous chest. "You're a weird fleshling," he asserted.
Lena smiled widely without teeth. She said, "Thanks. My name's Lena." Lena looked straight ahead and kept going, sidestepping his wide foot. "I'm really hungry and if I don't get a sweater or blanket or something, I will actually die. Where is the bridge?"
Breakdown started after her. "Uh, this way."
Breakdown took the lead again. Lena was able to keep up this time.
The door to the command deck slid open. Lena's head was on a swivel as she took it in, noticing things she didn't the first time. She rubbed her goosebump-riddled arms. It was even colder than the rest of the ship. Purple soldiers were stationed at computers. A couple of them left, not noticing Lena as she skirted around Breakdown to avoid getting stepped on.
"Soundwave," Breakdown rumbled, "ready to go, sir."
Busy at his own computer, Soundwave angled himself toward them. Lines and figures danced across his screen face. He pointed.
Lena straightened up. He was pointing at her.
You got this, she told herself. Lena took a breath and stepped forward. "I want to go with Breakdown. Uh, sir. Mr. Soundwave." Yikes, girl, lay off the butter. Lena clasped her hands, the perfect display of a polite little guest. "He doesn't know what a human needs. Water, food, uh, warmth. That kinda stuff. I should be getting my own supplies, right? Uh, with your permission." Lena stood there, unsure what to say next. She moved her hands behind her back and picked at the skin around her nails.
Soundwave was silent. Lena didn't look away.
The armour on his chest clicked. The origami bird detached. Lena followed its sweeping path as it did a loop around the room and came to hover above her. Soundwave nodded once. His screen flashed and a green portal swirled into existence with a startling WHOOSH.
"Whoa," Lena gasped. She knew she was gawking, but come on - a real, actual portal! She eyeballed the bird that captured her and said, "Uh, thank you. Sir. Soundwave."
Soundwave nodded once more. He turned his back and resumed his work.
Breakdown grunted in mild surprise. "Alright," he said. "Supply run."
And then he folded down into a car.
Now, Lena obviously spotted all the car parts on their bodies - but never once did it occur to her that they turned into cars. Her mind was on trophies and decorations, not that.
Damn. The kidnapping made a lot more sense now.
But it didn't make her any less angry. In fact, it unlocked a whole new flavour of anger. If Knock Out didn't want his cover blown, then maybe he shouldn't have slowed down in the first place. Better yet, he should have kept his polished ass on the spaceship.
Hm. So maybe Megatron had a point.
"Don't touch anything," Breakdown warned as she approached his open passenger door.
Lena replied, "Yep, yep. Understood." She climbed into the seat. Lena reached out and stopped herself from yanking the door shut, immediately saying, "Sorry." Ignoring the impulse to buckle in, Lena clutched her bag to her chest while her eyes roved over Breakdown's interior. It was unnerving. If she wasn't cursed with the knowledge of sitting inside another living being, Lena wouldn't suspect anything unusual at all. He just seemed like a normal truck.
"This is weird..." Breakdown's voice uttered from the radio. The wheel turned and they were driving into the vortex of gorgeous colours.
"So weird," Lena agreed. Wide-eyed, she gazed out at the greens and purples streaking past the passenger window. "So pretty..." A strange sensation hummed under her skin - she could only describe it as her bones being full of angry bees. Her empty stomach turned violently. Lena grimaced and clutched her backpack tighter. She wasn't going to throw up inside this man.
Lena blinked, and suddenly she was staring at a graffiti'd alleyway. She lurched forward. Never once in her life would she think that the sight of a piece of garbage blowing across the pavement could bring her such delight and wonder.
"That is," Lena breathed, "so cool."
Breakdown turned. Now, they were looking at a loading bay and the open back door of a delivery truck.
"Uh," said Lena.
"Have at it, expert," Breakdown said, flinging his door open. "Get a move on."
Lena hopped out. She pondered the ethicality of what she was about to do and decided she didn't care: she was hungry. Lena sprinted to the delivery truck. She heard voices faintly through the cracked bay door; a crate was stopping it from closing all the way.
Lena jumped into the truck. She zipped open her backpack and sliced her knife through plastic and cardboard packaging. She stuffed water bottles and several handfuls of fruit bars into her bag. She grabbed a huge bag of toilet paper and a pack of pads. Lena rooted, but she couldn't find everything she needed - namely, a blanket.
The bay door rolled open. Lena bolted. Someone shouted after her. She dove into the blue truck waiting for her, chucking the toilet paper in the driver's seat.
"Go go go!" Lena pulled her baseball cap over her eyes and sank into her seat. Oh, man, Jean and Wyatt could never find out about this. Breakdown revved his engine and peeled out of there, leaving the shouting men behind. A green glow filled the cabin and they were back on the spaceship.
Oh. Lena forgot what was waiting for her.
She should have taken her chance and ran.
A familiar warbling sound followed them out of the portal. Lena looked out to see a big, blue tarp floating overhead like a sheet ghost. Soundwave took the tarp, revealing Birdie underneath. Birdie's tentacle arms retracted and it rejoined its master, becoming part of his chest once more. Soundwave folded the loud plastic over his lanky arm into a neat rectangle. His disjointed legs bent and he presented the tarp in his twiggy fingers. Lena had been so absorbed in watching him, she didn't notice Breakdown's window rolling down.
Lena reached out, awkwardly thanking Soundwave as she pulled the tarp onto her lap. It was better than nothing. She really was grateful; he didn't have to do that. Even with the whole snitching and luring-and-catching-her thing, Soundwave was turning out to be the least terrible person aboard this spaceship.
Soundwave stood tall once again. Lena stammered out a loud, "Um," and Soundwave paused. Light glanced over his visor as his head incrementally twitched. Lena fiddled with a ring on the tarp and said, "I- I'm sorry for calling you creepy earlier. That wasn't cool of me."
The world felt like it was holding its breath. Maybe it was Breakdown, because there was a tense air in the cabin that made the back of Lena's neck crawl. Why should an apology feel like stepping on a landmine?
The landmine didn't go off. Soundwave inclined his head and returned to his workstation. Breakdown's tires spun and Lena's back hit the seat while he took off down the halls.
"Don't listen much, do ya?" snipped Breakdown.
Lena's upper lip curled like she caught a whiff of something rank. "What? I can't apologize?"
Breakdown growled, "No. If you wanna stay alive, you sit back and shut up. Trust me, fleshie, the last thing you want is attention. Bugs get squished, 'specially noisy ones."
"Soundwave didn't mind," Lena grumbled, crinkling the tarp in her hands.
"You dunno what Soundwave minds. Nobody does except Lord Megatron, and nobody chitchats with High Command except High Command. I'm trying to help you out, tiny. This ain't daycare, it's a warship. Are you computing yet?"
A warship. Chagrined, Lena stayed silent, glaring daggers into her reflection in the side mirror. The mirror moved, startling her.
"For your sake, that better be a yes," Breakdown said. "It's not my spark on the disassembly line."
Lena looked out the window instead. She wanted to retort, but she kept it in. Breakdown had a point, regardless of how she felt about it. Still, she was sure the apology was the correct choice: she could only benefit from being in a High Commander's good graces. Plus, she did actually feel bad - the guy couldn't help being creepy. Tall, dark, and faceless just happened to be the recipe for a good horror caricature.
Speaking of, Lena still didn't get an answer regarding his favourite final girl. Hm, maybe he didn't know what that was. Aliens, right?
Knock Out was attending a patient when Breakdown motored into the repair bay. Lena grabbed her bulging backpack and hugged the tarp close. She hopped out and Breakdown instantly unfolded into a man-shaped being once more. He shuddered like someone had danced over his grave. Dramatic, Lena thought, and then pondered how she would react to having a mini person riding around inside her body. Probably worse, she admitted with the resolve to never speak it aloud.
Breakdown stepped over her as casually as one might avoid a crack in the sidewalk. Lena's hair stood on end and she shivered.
"How did it goo?" Knock Out asked with a certain flair of smugness. Lena wanted to smack it off his stupid face, but she'd be the only one suffering for it.
Breakdown grunted non-committedly. "Human got what it needs."
Lena harrumphed loudly. She wasn't an it. He knew her name; he could at least use it.
Knock Out's smirk shrunk into a pensive frown. "Soundwave gave the green light."
"Yeah," Breakdown said. His mouth curled unpleasantly and he pressed a fist to his chest. Knock Out asked what was the matter. Breakdown replied, "Dunno..."
Lena's eyes bugged-out in realization just as Breakdown cracked open his mono-boob like a pair of hinged cupboard doors.
"Ooh," Lena cringed. Breakdown reached into his own chest. Pinched between two thick fingers, he plucked out the package of TP. He looked at her, unimpressed. "Sorry," she said rather pathetically. "Forgot about those..."
Breakdown scoffed. He dropped the package; it bounced once and landed on its side. Lena scurried over to scoop it under her arm. "I'm just gonna..." she said and trotted toward a low shelf that she'd been eyeing since she got here. She heard the robots muttering amongst themselves, not catching much of the exchange. Lena tossed her stuff onto the bottom shelf. She ran at the shelf and jumped, but her fingers barely scraped the edge. She tried once more before propping her hands on her hips. Her stomach twisted, growling in complaint. Maybe she should have tested it before chucking everything up there... no, she could find a way up. She wasn't going to be bested by a shelf. She looked around, being reminded that Knock Out kept his workspace spic and span.
"Psst."
Lena scrunched her brows and glanced over her shoulder.
"Psst, squishie. Up here."
Lena followed the source of the whispers to the pinkish clone laying prone on a medical bed. "Uh, hey," she said.
The clone raised its- their head. "You're the doc's new assistant, right?"
Lena nearly denied it. But then she got an idea. "That's me," she said brightly, pumping her arm in a show of unwarranted confidence. "What ails you today, good sir?"
The guy sighed in relief. Their head hit the bed with a clank. "Oh, thank the stars. I've been trying to get help for cycles but nobot believes me! I swear I'm not trying to get out of work. My struts seize up every time I lift or bend down and the exercises aren't working! I'll try anything. I'll try human medicine if it'll fix me!"
Lena sympathized. Her foster father struggled for years to get a medical professional to believe him. Just the other day, a doctor at Jasper's hospital told Wyatt he couldn't be in pain if he was able to walk. Lena was ready to march over there to give those jerks a taste - stopped only by Jean's assertion that violence wasn't the answer (and Wyatt asking Lena nicely not to do that). Yeah, whatever: Lena heard Jean yelling at them over the phone that evening. Violence, meet violence, was Lena's thought. If those doctors could withhold medi-care, then Lena was only justified to retaliate. Nobody knew who poked a hole in that doctor's back wheel. Must've run over a nail, the cops concluded, even finding a perfect match near the entrance of the parking lot - mystery solved. They didn't believe the doctor when he claimed it was intentional. Unofficially, there were suspects - one suspect - but never a confrontation.
Lena had a feeling Jean and Wyatt definitely knew.
Lena missed them. Were they worried? Did they think she ran away? She hoped they had more faith in her than that. Not that she hadn't done it before, but... Lena hoped Jean and Wyatt knew she loved them too much to run away. Literally, the only thing that could take her away from them was abduction. And Miko...
Lena caught herself smiling. Miko was probably staging a daring rescue.
"I'll see what I can do," Lena told the person asking for her help. "Mind giving me a lift?"
There was visible hesitation in the robot's body language. Then, they were lowering a two-fingered hand to the floor.
"Please don't spit acid on me," the robot meekly requested. "Or leak mucus in my joints."
"Never met a human before, have you?" Lena said.
"No, never! We stay on the ship when we're not mining for energon. Do you really shed your skin every night?"
Lena smirked. She hovered a hand over the robot's scuffed-up palm, saying, "Every seven years, actually. I won't leak all over you - promise."
"Phew. That's reassuring. You know, you're not at all like I heard. The vehicons on patrol are always complaining how whiny and annoying humans are!"
"Are they," Lena said, ideas spinning in her brain. She hopped onto the bot's palm, dangling her legs over the side.
"I don't think so. You're helping me! And you're not at all as whiny as the Commander."
Lena perked up. Gossip. "And this commander would be..."
"Commander Starscream - he's Lord Megatron's second lieutenant. You obviously haven't met him yet. If I was small and squishable like you, I'd watch out - he's very temperamental. He likes it when people suck up to him, though. We don't know why Lord Megatron even keeps him around - Commander Starscream would throw Lord Megatron into a smelting pit if he got the chance. I think Lord Megatron is amused that he never actually succeeds. Scrap, what am I even saying? I'm talking treason!"
"Noo," Lena said, sliding off the robot's hand onto the bed, "we're just chattin'. Just a little harmless conversation. No treason." She walked along the edge. "Who doesn't complain a little here and there? I bet Starscream does."
"He does. All the time! He yelled at me yesterday for walking too slow, but my legs were seized up! I physically could not go any faster. You know, sometimes? I like the mines better than the ship. At least he's not skulking through the mines yelling or hitting us. Our shift manager only yells when we screw up."
"Sounds terrible," Lena remarked. She was examining the bot's back and thinking she had no clue how to... anything. This one didn't even have wheels - they were entirely alien. "Is there a spot that hurts more?"
"Middle spinal strut gives me the most trouble. Don't you need tools?"
"Uh. Well, I'm just looking right now. And all the tools are too big for me."
"Oh. You should have you-sized tools! How does the doc expect you to get anything done?"
Lena laughed semi-desperately. "Magic, probably. You good with me getting a closer look? I'm gonna need to climb on you."
"If it'll fix me, you can pry my armour apart, for all I care!"
Lena clambered atop the giant robot. She didn't dare step on any moving parts, keeping her fingers and feet away from all the pinching points and joints. The robot had no spine that she could see. Optimistic, she stamped her foot on a purple panel. Nothing happened, of course. She traipsed down the bot's back and acted very professionally when she treaded over their - ahem - bumper to examine their legs. She hummed like she knew what she was doing, tilting her head this way and that. She really was searching for the problem, but she simply didn't know alien biology enough to tell if a wire was crossed or a bolt out of place or... whatever.
"I'm afraid I can't see anything wrong," Lena reported and jumped onto the medical bed. Hastily, she added, "without tools."
Lena considered telling the truth. She took their presumption and ran with it - a harmless lie, but the guilt in her chest was very real. Truthfully, Lena agreed because she hoped they might put her on the shelf with her belongings.
The robot sighed. "I figured you would say that. Thanks for trying, human."
She gave them a sliver of hope only to toss it away with a 'Better luck next time.' Lena shoved her hands in her pockets, only to throw them out as she dropped to avoid the gigantic leg sweeping off the bed. The reddish-purple robot sat on the edge, their shoulders drooping.
"I don't know what else to do," they said quietly. "I can't work like this. If I can't work, I'm-" They turned their head, meeting Lena's guilty gaze with two red bands of light. They splayed a two-fingered hand over their chest. "I'm a miner. If I can't mine, what use am I?" They put their hand to their head. Softly, they said, "I'll be decommissioned for parts. Heh, and they can't even use my parts. I'm just... broken."
Lena stared, crestfallen. She sat, knees tucked to her chest. She ground her teeth together, clenching and unclenching her jaw. The pair sat in silence. Behind them, Knock Out and Breakdown were amidst conversation. Lena tuned them out a while ago.
"That's cruel," she whispered. "Will they really... take you apart if you're not useful?"
Sounding more lifeless and robotic than Lena heard in the few minutes she knew them, the mech said, "It's how it is."
Another silence befell them.
Then, Lena asked, "What's your name?"
"Drones don't have names." The mech peeked down at her. Lowering their voice, they said, "Call me Hedge."
"Hedge? I'm Lena." She stretched out her arm.
The mech stared at it. "Why did you do that?"
"It's- stick out your hand, like me. Turn - just like that." Lena grabbed hold of a single finger wider than her whole body and tried to shake it, only succeeding in bending her elbow. "Well. Basically, that's a handshake."
"Handshake. And what does it signify?"
"It depends. But usually, it means 'hello'."
Hedge hummed. Gently, they bobbed their hand. "Hello."
Lena smiled wide. "You got it! Hello."
An odd chuffing noise came from Hedge. They bobbed their hand again. "Strange human customs," they said lightly.
"I've got even stranger ones. Ever heard of a high five?"
"What are you doing?" demanded a voice behind them.
Lena and Hedge spun around. Knock Out's hands were on his hips and his expression flat. He wasn't looking for answers, but Lena gave one anyway.
"I'm teaching them weird human customs," she cheerily declared.
Knock Out tutted. "Pestering my patient, is more like it! Get down! Ugh, now I have to sanitize the lab again."
"Sir," Hedge said, planting their feet on the floor and squaring their posture, "the human was helping me-"
"Helping? Ha! Only if you need your audio receptors checked. Since you seem to be doing fine, you can get back to work."
"Sir, but my legs-!"
"Do the exercises I prescribed and don't do any heavy lifting." Knock Out waved his claws and turned away. "Get out. Dismissed."
Hedge didn't need a face for Lena to see the dread and exhaustion weighing them down. They nodded with a solemn, "Sir." Hedge glanced down at Lena before stiffly walking out. The door shut behind them.
Lena was fuming.
"You can't just turn them away!" she near-shouted, scrambling upright. "You're supposed to help them-"
"I can't help what I can't diagnose," Knock Out bit out, scowling at her from the corner of his eye. "There is nothing wrong with that drone. Laziness, probably. Not my problem anymore."
"Are you serious?" Lena stormed to the other side of the slab, closer to him. "What kind of doctor are you?!"
Knock Out whirled to face her. "One that never asked for this job." He aimed one long finger at her like a lance. "Listen close, human. I will tolerate your nattering, but I will not tolerate a meagre fleshbag telling me how to run my medical bay. I am the one and only medic aboard this warship. You know nothing, and you have no authority. You will not tell me how to do my job. Capiche?"
Lena opened her mouth. Her attention abruptly shifted to the statuesque mech looming several yards behind Knock Out. His orange face was blank. His earlier warnings circled to the forefront of her mind.
Lena slumped. She lowered her gaze. "Understood," she murmured. "Won't happen again."
Knock Out hummed. He withdrew the spear attached to his hand and leaned back. "Good. Now, get down from there. Your human germs have contaminated my workspace."
Notes:
guys, i don't think soundwave minds lena.... i wonder why? (thinking emoji)
before MECH, i feel that breakdown is neutral on humans. obviously, he thinks they're bugs and calls miko a pet, but he's not, like, actively hating their guts. also, have you noticed how quiet breakdown is when he's not throwing jabs or puns in battle? he doesn't speak up much, especially around The Big Three, and typically lets knock out do all the talking. he folds his hands so timidly in the 'T.M.I' episode when megatron accuses him of dropping the cylinder XD i just know this man has anxiety and i adore the comradery he has with the vehicons
knock out gets angry! "This little roach that got me banned from racing is trying to order me around? Absolutely not!"
SIDE NOTE: knock out is NOT a doctor/medic. he's a scientist - i'll give him surgeon - and does cosmetic work. the man BARELY knows what he's doing when it comes to medical care. 'Deus Ex Machina', he says so himself: "I've done plenty of body work, Starscream, but I'm better at breaking 'em than fixing 'em." it's my headcanon that those datapads he's reading are medical texts and he's learning on the go
lazerbeak sheet ghost gives me serotonin <:
i made up hedge to be a quick side character and i would give my life for them

TheSocksOnYourFeet (Guest) on Chapter 1 Tue 25 Jun 2024 11:40PM UTC
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Ph1lsimpMCU on Chapter 1 Sat 05 Oct 2024 10:42AM UTC
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Owl_Web on Chapter 1 Wed 01 Jan 2025 01:41PM UTC
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am_i_soup on Chapter 1 Wed 01 Jan 2025 07:45PM UTC
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Owl_Web on Chapter 1 Wed 03 Sep 2025 04:46PM UTC
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Varteeny on Chapter 2 Tue 17 Sep 2024 08:03PM UTC
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Burnt_Babytoast on Chapter 2 Thu 19 Sep 2024 11:32PM UTC
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kako_pancake on Chapter 2 Fri 04 Oct 2024 07:44PM UTC
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IHEARTTRANSFORMERS on Chapter 2 Fri 18 Oct 2024 05:00AM UTC
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Owl_Web on Chapter 2 Wed 03 Sep 2025 04:53PM UTC
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IHEARTTRANSFORMERS on Chapter 3 Tue 01 Jul 2025 03:54AM UTC
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Ch33ryBl00d on Chapter 3 Wed 02 Jul 2025 08:25AM UTC
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Owl_Web on Chapter 3 Wed 03 Sep 2025 05:04PM UTC
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