Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was the third time it happened that Shuichi started to suspect that something might be wrong.

The plan to rescue Kaito and stop Kokichi once and for all was in motion. That morning, Shuichi had grabbed his charged Electrohammer and booked it to the dining hall, where almost all of his friends were waiting for him. He shared what he learned upon scouting out the hangar, and they were on the move.

At first, everything had been smooth in motion. Aside from a few oddities here and there– like Monokuma gone from his Exisal protection barrier, and the control panel to the shutter being all scratched up– all of the pieces were perfectly in place. They’d rescue Kaito and stop the killing game for good.

However… when they broke into the hangar…

Shuichi remembered feeling as if the floor was collapsing beneath his feet. The sight of all that blood made his stomach churn, and when he recalled the scene even now, his mouth ran dry. Because someone had once been under the press, and that someone was most likely Kaito.

Once the body discovery announcement went off though, Shuichi had found himself back in his room, looking at the empty monitor as nighttime was officially declared.

That was perfectly weird, he had thought at first. He was understandably a little disoriented, but the only logical explanation he could come up with was that he had had a really, really vivid daydream of sorts. Tensions were high and a lot was going to happen tomorrow, so he assumed he was just stressed enough to mildly hallucinate an entire morning. He went back to bed, and countered the next day with less-than high spirits and a rock of anxiety pitted in his chest.

As that morning played out with more and more similarities to what he thought was a simple dream, he slowly felt his anxieties worsening. And lo and behold, the minute they entered that hangar, what did they find?

The blood. The press. Kaito’s coat sleeve, with one small hole.

And that’s where Shuichi was now. Staring utterly dumbfounded at the monitor, where the empty nighttime announcement just finished. He checked his Electrohammer– still not fully charged, but nearly there– and then he went to his bathroom to check the mirror. His reflection stared back at him in shock, sharing his confusion.

He didn’t know what the chances were that he hallucinated… two mornings…?

No, he shot himself down immediately, that was too precise. It was as if… the morning repeated itself.

Shuichi thought he was pretty sensible about ninety percent of the time, but this was sort of testing his limits. He rarely remembered his dreams in such vivid detail, and he honestly doubted he was hallucinating, so what on earth was going on?

Those wonders stayed on his mind as he laid down in his bed. He felt too restless to fall asleep, but he knew he had to. He’d need the energy for tomorrow when they went to take down the mastermind of the killing game– a Remnant of Despair– Kokichi Ouma… for the third time. The most logical answer he could come to was that he was very nervous, and his brain kept flashing to the utter worst case scenario.

A very specific, vivid, worst case scenario.

In hindsight, he might be underplaying this a little.

After being unable to sleep a wink, Shuichi hesitantly grabbed his Electrohammer and made his way to the dining hall. The déjà vu that came from the short trip was disconcerting, but not so much as seeing his friend’s faces once again.

Maybe it’ll be different, he thought to himself as his friends noticed him. Maybe I’m just worried over nothing.

“Nyeeeh! We’re all here!” Himiko exclaimed excitedly, unknowingly sending a cold chill down Shuichi’s spine.

His eyes instinctively traced towards K1-B0 before he even asked, “is everyone ready?”

“Of course!” agreed Tsumugi, brandishing her hammer with a determined pinch in her features. “My Electrohammer is all recharged!”

Shuichi glanced wildly between all of his friends, his heart sinking. That was word for word with the other two times.

…uh oh.

This would usually be the time when he asked Maki where her Electrohammer was. She’d say that she didn’t want to use a weapon she was unfamiliar with, and would instead present the weapon of her choice: a knife. After that, he’d report what he found while scouting the hangar, and with some additional input from K1-B0, they’d be off.

If Shuichi opened his mouth now, he had no doubt it’d go the exact same way as the other two times.

He was starting to go from confused to concerned.

Maybe he had been staring for a moment too long, because Maki’s frown was taut as she glowered at him. “What?” she asked, though not rudely.

“Ah, sorry. It’s, well…” Shuichi trailed off, unsure of how to word this without sounding like he was starting to lose it. “Have any of you noticed something… strange? Like, weird dreams about today’s mission, or…”

“Weird dreams?” Tsumugi echoed inquisitively, tilting her head slightly. “I don’t dream that often, and I don’t think I did last night.”

“Did you have a bad dream, Shuichi?” K1-B0 asked him. A small, reassuring smile grew on the robot’s face. “You shouldn’t worry about it. It’s only a dream, after all.”

So it’s only me, he concluded as Maki only stared at him and Himiko tapped her chin pensively. Unless Kaito knows something… or even Kokichi, I guess.

“Thanks, Keebo,” Shuichi said regardless. “But I’m starting to get worried. This is the third time I’ve gone through this morning, and every time, it’s started the same way. We gather here, discuss what Keebo and I found scouting the hangar, and then we all go there and…”

He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. He feared that if he did, it might manifest itself into reality.

K1-B0 looked surprised. “How did you know I was at the hangar?”

Now Maki was surprised. “You two… scouted the hangar?”

“I only went to the hangar to attempt to get through to Kokichi and ask him to release Kaito peacefully,” K1-B0 explained, eyeing Shuichi thoughtfully.

“How did it go?” asked Tsumugi.

There was no response, Shuichi remembered K1-B0’s response from the other times.

K1-B0 let out a sigh. “It went about as well as I expected… there was no response at all.”

At that point, Shuichi stopped listening. K1-B0 went over what he saw regarding the Exisal, but he was too busy worrying about what was going on to pay attention. He could possibly excuse the first time as a dream, and while the second time was strange in itself, there was no way he was dreaming of or hallucinating or whatever it was for a third time. But if it wasn’t a dream, then what was it? He didn’t imagine he had suddenly acquired the power of foresight.

If we go to the hangar… is it going to be the same? Shuichi found himself wondering, staring down at his Electrohammer. If everything is the same as the last time, does that mean… when we go to the hangar…

There was no time to bring up his worries, though. Everyone had already brushed off his previous concerns, too focused on rescuing Kaito and finally taking down Kokichi. They rushed out of the dining hall one by one, leaving Shuichi to scramble to catch up.

Not wanting to be left behind, he followed a little more sluggishly, dread weighing down his feet and making it difficult to move forward.

If Kaito is under the press– he stopped that train of thought where it was. Kaito wasn’t dead, he was sure of it. He had only seen the scene briefly before waking back up in his room… twice… so there was a chance he had missed something. Was a sleeve definitive proof of someone’s certain demise, anyway? No. It wasn’t.

Although, that did beg the question of who was under the press, if not Kaito. And he wasn’t sure how he felt about the only other viable option.

Stepping into the long, winding corridors that led to the hangar, he was surprised to be greeted by Tsumugi, who seemed to have been waiting for him. All the others must be up ahead, he presumed.

“You’re really nervous, huh?” Tsumugi commented as he approached. “Are you worried about those dreams?”

“Dreams…” Shuichi echoed quietly. “Um... maybe? I'm not sure, but... I think I’m repeating the morning.”

“Repeating the morning?” Tsumugi echoed curiously. “What do you mean?”

On one hand, Shuichi wanted to shrug it off and insist they discuss it later, after they found the body– no! After they rescued Kaito! He hadn’t even seen the body yet.

(And, he thought, if he brought it up now, the suspicion would circle towards him almost instantly.)

However, on the other hand, if these repetitions were consistent and he was “restarted” back to his room upon entering the hangar… he wouldn’t get the chance to talk about it at all.

“Every time we go into the hangar, I find myself back in my room after the nighttime announcement plays,” Shuichi risked telling the cosplayer. “This is the third time it’s happened now. And every morning, we meet up at the dining hall, have a conversation extremely similar to that, and then come here.”

“Oh.” Tsumugi was staring at him, but she didn’t necessarily look doubtful. “You’re reliving the morning over and over, huh? So you know how our mission ends?”

Shuichi wasn’t sure how to honestly answer that. He didn’t really know how their mission ended because all he saw in the hangar was blood, Kaito’s coat sleeve, and no sign of either of the boys who were supposed to be there.

“Not really,” Shuichi only partly lied. He felt bad, but he didn’t want to accidentally make himself suspicious if this time actually continued any further. “Maybe Keebo was right, and I just had a strange… bad dream.”

Tsumugi hummed. “But what if it’s not a dream? I’ve seen this type of thing before in lots of anime… you might be caught in a time loop.”

“That only happens in fiction,” Shuichi reminded her. “It’s impossible for a time loop to exist.”

“It’d answer what’s happening to you though,” she pointed out mildly. “Characters stuck in a time loop, reliving the day over and over… and once the day ends, the loop repeats.”

That sounded perfectly ominous. Now it was Shuichi’s turn to stare at her, unsure whether he was confused or simply incredulous. He knew what a time loop was, obviously– but there was no possible way for it to exist in real life.

There had to be a more reasonable explanation.

“Okay, if…” Shuichi sighed, not even sure why he was entertaining such an idea. “If it happens again, and everything is the same as last time… I’ll come ask you about it.”

Tsumugi nodded, her eyes lighting up. “Okay! But first, let’s go save Kaito.”

Save Kaito…

Shuichi forced a small smile on his face, though he was sure it was uncertain.

“Let’s do that,” he agreed without confidence.

Gripping their Electrohammers, he and Tsumugi made their way to where their friends were waiting. There were only three Exisals in that odd hang-off room, all unmoving, which perfectly matched the image of the last two times and only served to make him more nervous. In the smallest possibility that Tsumugi was right… Shuichi was going to have a much bigger problem on his hands.

As the two of them arrived, K1-B0, Himiko and Maki all perked up. Maki’s gaze was scrutinizing, and Shuichi found himself unable to meet her eyes. He knew why she was irritable– she was eager to save Kaito, and Shuichi was stalling with his strange dilemma.

“Everyone is here,” K1-B0 observed. “Let’s get started right away.”

Himiko nodded vigorously. “I-I’m ready!”

“Maki, are you ready with the Electrobomb?” Tsumugi asked the assassin, whose gaze snapped towards her instead.

“...who do you think you’re talking to?” Maki questioned in turn. She presented the Electrobomb, the pink of which glinted in the yellower glow of the electric barrier. “It’s similar to a grenade, except the detonation lags a bit after you push the switch. Once we roll this in front of the shutter, it should disable the alarm system.” Her head turned towards the closed shutter, her voice tightening as she said, “...this won’t fail.”

I’ve heard this all before, Shuichi noted miserably. Nausea churned deep in his stomach, drying his throat, and he only now noticed his hands were shaking. Please, please don’t let it be the same.

“The Electrobomb has an effective range of fifty yards, and lasts for two hours…” K1-B0 recalled unhelpfully. “If Kokichi’s remote control is disabled, we stand a chance against the Exisals.”

Shuichi stayed quiet, his eyes locked on his friend. She was hesitating, he noticed; there was a dark look in her red eyes, as if she was expecting something inevitably terrible on the other side of the shutter.

…is she expecting something terrible?

“What’s wrong, Maki Roll?” Himiko asked the assassin, which seemed to bring her back to attention. “We’re… all ready to start, y’know?”

“...yeah, alright.” Maki held up the Electrobomb, her finger caught in the trigger. “Then let’s go.”

Activating the little weapon, she quickly dropped to one knee and rolled it towards the shutter. The alarms didn’t pick it up, and the Electrobomb went off a couple of moments later. The minute it did, the lights on the alarms all shut off, signifying their deactivation.

“The alarm system is disabled! Now we can approach the control panel!” K1-B0, once again, exclaimed the obvious. His excited eyes turned towards Shuichi, but–

“I’ll do it,” Shuichi offered before he could even ask. 

Not even bothering to inspect the strange marks all over the control panel (though that was something he’d need to do later), he lifted his Electrohammer as high as he could and brought it down. It bounced off of the control panel, sending momentary reverberations through his arms, and the entire control panel was overridden, thus shutting off the electric barrier.

Without wasting a single second, Shuichi opened the shutter. He joined his classmate’s sides as it slowly lifted, his body trembling and his palms sweating from anxiety. His gaze was already targeted towards where the hydraulic press would be, and all he could do was hope that there was nothing there.

But of course, Shuichi couldn’t be so lucky.

He saw the blood before the shutter was even fully opened.

“Damn it…” he cursed under his breath as his friends began to notice as well. He saw the way their eyes widened, breaths hitching as they beared witness to the gory scene for the first time.

Shuichi didn’t think that he’d ever get used to seeing the blood, the press, and that coat sleeve just barely dangling from between the two metal slabs.

ding dong bing bong

Being the only one to turn around, Shuichi stared into Monokuma’s beady eyes portrayed on the giant screen. He was holding a wine glass, his smile feeling all that much more malevolent.

Monokuma laughed, the sound grating Shuichi’s ears. “A body has been discovered~!”

And then–

–

–Shuichi was in his room.

It took a moment for him to reorientate himself, but when he did, he sank down to the floor on his knees, his legs no longer able to support him.

It was a little more difficult to deny that he was in a time loop when the exact same thing happened three times in a row.

Does Kaito… really die tonight? The notion made him sick, but that was all he could think about at the moment. Shuichi remembered talking to him only a few hours before the nighttime announcement. Was that really the last time he would have ever seen Kaito? Were his last words really “see you tomorrow” to someone who wouldn’t survive to see tomorrow?

Aside from the fact that Shuichi’s entire world view and understanding of time had been utterly decimated, he found himself hopelessly lost on what to do next. This was the fourth time he was standing in his room after the nighttime announcement. What was he supposed to even do in a situation like this? How was he supposed to even comprehend a time loop?

There is someone who might have an idea. She’s the one who planted this thought in his head in the first place, and he did tell her that he’d go to her if it happened again.

Trying to calm his pounding heart and banish the awful mental image of the bloody hydraulic press, Shuichi begrudgingly left his bedroom. He really, really hoped she had a solution for him, because he didn’t think he could deal with this on top of the added stress of Kaito potentially dying and the whole thing with their mission.

If Kaito dies… that means he dies tonight. Shuichi had to pause in his tracks, taking in a barely calming breath. That’s only if. But… if it’s Kokichi who was under that press… I can only think of one culprit.

Why would Kokichi kill Kaito? Why would Kaito kill Kokichi?

What the hell happens in that hangar…?

Shuichi didn’t even realize he had already rang Tsumugi’s doorbell until she was opening the door.

“Shuichi?” Tsumugi greeted him, arching her eyebrows in surprise. “What are you doing here…?”

“Sorry to bother you,” Shuichi apologized, because he knew that even if he wasn’t tired in the slightest, everyone else might be. “But… what do you know about time loops?”

“Umm… time loops?” Tsumugi looked a little lost.

“In your anime. Surely you’ve seen at least one,” Shuichi clarified, knowing perfectly well what kind of floodgate he was opening with those words.

As he expected, Tsumugi’s eyes lit up like the sun, and he honestly felt bad for making her so excited when he needed answers for something serious.

“You want to know about my anime!?” Tsumugi squealed excitedly, further worsening that guilt.

“Just time loops,” Shuichi corrected her quickly.

“Sure! Of course!” Tsumugi was, quite literally, shaking with excitement, and she grabbed one of his hands. “Come in, please! Excuse the mess, I’ve been trying to keep myself busy…”

Being pulled in, Shuichi could see that her room was kind of in chaos. Sewing supplies, half-finished outfits and books and magazines and stacks of papers were scattered absolutely everywhere. Shuichi had never been in Tsumugi’s bedroom before, and in all truth he felt a little horrible for intruding on a girl’s room.

Tsumugi had quickly released him to quickly clean off her armchair, turning it around to face her desk chair. She gestured for him to sit down, which he modestly did, murmuring an awkward thanks.

“So,” Tsumugi began, sitting down in her desk chair, “time loops! It’s a trope where a character is forced to relive a certain period of time– maybe a day, maybe a week– and the main plot point is almost always to end that loop. I have a few animes I can recommend if you’re interested–”

“Ah, thank you, but I’m okay,” Shuichi cut her off, not wanting to get her hopes up. “I just want to know how to end a time loop.”

Tsumugi was not deterred by his dismissal. “Well, it depends on the situation, but most of the time, there’s a task that the character has to complete! Like preventing something from happening, or righting wrongs that occur in the span of that loop. Sometimes, just to shake it up, the character has to commit a wrong to escape the loop! I’ve seen that in a few fanfics…”

Preventing something from happening… Shuichi silently mused. Then, he paused. “Fanfics?”

“Fanfics,” Tsumugi echoed affirmatively. “They’re fun to read and write! With fanfiction, you can plainly fix virtually anything from the canon source material. Or you can make it worse… it depends on how you’re feeling, I guess.”

He was starting to learn things he didn’t need to know. “Ah… okay. Thank you.”

“Why do you ask, anyway?” Tsumugi suddenly found the sense to ask him. “Unless… you’re in a time loop?”

Shuichi was really, really hoping he wasn’t. It was illogical, didn’t make any sense, and he didn’t know why it would be him in a time loop when it could be literally anyone else.

But.

“I… might be?” Shuichi shrugged helplessly, letting his shoulders slump in defeat. “It doesn’t make sense, though. Time loops cannot exist in real life.”

“That’s what every protagonist of a time loop says at first,” Tsumugi informed him sympathetically.

Shuichi shot her a look. “Do you really think time loops exist…?”

“If humanity can go extinct and something like Monokuma and the Exisals can exist, then I wouldn’t doubt a time loop,” Tsumugi answered earnestly. “Weird things have been happening ever since we woke up. Besides, isn’t it just plainly fitting that a Hope’s Peak Academy student would get caught in a time loop?”

…at least I know someone will believe me, even if I have no idea why, Shuichi noted, just in case he really was in something as unbelievable as a time loop. “I suppose so…? I still don’t know what I’m supposed to do to stop the time loop.”

“Well, does anything major happen before everything resets?” Tsumugi inquired.

Shuichi sat up.

Prevent something from happening.

Could that be it?

Was the key to stopping the time loop saving Kaito and Kokichi?

“Huh? Did you realize something!?” Tsumugi demanded upon seeing his change in posture. “Is it our mission…? Does something go wrong?”

“No, it’s.. .” Shuichi trailed off as he got out of his chair, urgency suddenly flooding his veins. “Listen, Tsumugi. Someone dies tonight.”

All of the color drained from Tsumugi’s face. “Wh-What!? Who?”

“I’m not sure,” Shuichi admitted with a wince. “They were crushed under the hydraulic– huh?”

Crushed under the press?

That couldn’t be right, though. Shuichi and K1-B0 had tested the safety function. The press should stop when it detected a living human being– that machine was incapable of being used as a murder weapon.

“Whatever happens,” Shuichi continued with a shake of his head, “we have to stop it. Tsumugi, can you help me?”

“Oh! Of course!” Tsumugi stood up as well, lips curved in a determined smile. “Let’s prevent any more death! But, um…” she paused briefly, glancing at her Electrohammer on the ground. “My Electrohammer isn’t fully charged…”

Crap! Shuichi forgot about those! “Mine isn’t either… and on top of that, we have no way to turn off the alarm.”

The panic returned to Tsumugi’s face almost instantaneously. “Then what do we do!? If Kokichi sics an Exisal on us, we won’t be able to defend ourselves. Should we go get everyone to help?”

“I don’t know where Keebo is, and Himiko is probably already asleep,” Shuichi shot her down almost immediately. “Maki… could we ask her?”

“I’m pretty sure I saw Maki go off towards the school,” Tsumugi hummed thoughtfully. “With how big it is, we might not be able to find her in time. Do you know when the murder happens?”

“This is only my fourth time,” Shuichi told her grimly. “The last three times, I only got there in the morning.”

“Wha– it took you four tries to realize?” Tsumugi demanded incredulously. “You didn’t notice anything weird when you replayed the day for a second time?”

“I thought it was a dream,” Shuichi defended himself, though even he knew it was weak. “You’re actually the one who even suggested a time loop in the first place.”

Tsumugi still looked doubtful, but she didn’t press on the issue. “Wow… now I’m just plainly worried about you… but think about it this way. If you’re in a time loop, then you can use that to your advantage. If you don’t interfere with anything, then tonight will play out like normal, right? So use the loops to figure out everything that happens before the murder, and then stop it that way. If you know exactly what happens, you’ll know what you need to prevent!”

For a few moments, Shuichi stayed quiet. Her words made perfect sense to him– it was a much better idea to scope out everything that was going to happen instead of rushing in blind. He wouldn’t be stopping anything from happening if he didn’t know what he was going to stop.

As much as he hated to think that he was knowingly letting someone die, whether it was Kaito or Kokichi… Shuichi didn’t think there was much else of an option.

“...okay.” Shuichi nodded in understanding. “Okay. I’ll do that. Thanks, Tsumugi. You’re a big help.”

“You’re welcome! Anything I can do to help stop the killings, I will,” said Tsumugi. “So what do you know so far?”

Not much, admittedly. Shuichi had managed to mostly sleep through the murder each and every time. But going off of his friend’s testimonies and his own sightings…

“Keebo said he witnessed a few things,” Shuichi recalled. “But he only told us what was important to the mission. He saw the green Exisal go into the hangar. And… when we all went there, the control panel had a lot of strange marks on it.”

“That’s already a good place to start!” Tsumugi pointed out. “You should go find Keebo. Any idea where he could be?”

He must be somewhere close to the hangar, Shuichi mused, looking towards Tsumugi’s door. He says he went to try to reason with Kokichi, but he got no response… is that before or after the murder? His lab does have a viewing window to outside, so maybe I sho–

Something hard collided with the side of Shuichi’s head.

He barely had a chance to wonder what just happened before pain exploded in his skull, sending stars flying across his vision was what he could see of the world tipped sideways. Balance had folded inside out, and it took him a moment to realize he was on the ground, stunned.

No, wait. He couldn’t feel anything at all. Not the feeling of his clothes on his skin, not the pain from mere moments ago– not even the feeling of his chest rising and falling with each and every breath.

Someone spoke, but there was nothing that followed.

–

ding dong bing bong

Shuichi inhaled so hard his chest squeezed in agony.

Ow. Ow. His head hurt.

Feeling dizzy, he managed to sit down on the edge of his bed, swaying back and forth as he struggled to even see straight. His vision was swimming, making him feel nauseous. Shuichi closed his eyes to try to alleviate the feeling, but it certainly didn’t help his balance.

What just happened? Shuichi managed to coherently wonder after a few minutes. He had been hit in the head, he knew that, but… why? Who would do that?

Why… would she do that…?

It was no use. His head hurt too much to think. He laid back on his bed, trying his best to hold back tears. He was pretty sure his head would hurt worse if he started crying– that stuffy, light-headed feeling that came from a crying session would do him zero favors.

He didn’t know why his hair felt a little wet. He didn’t know what just happened. He didn’t even know what time it was.

“Okay…” he whispered to himself, his breath hitching. He swallowed thickly, trying again. “O-Okay… calm down…”

Calm down. Much easier said than done.

Slowly, he tried to take in a breath. It hurt his lungs, which had previously felt as if all the air had been sucked out of them. Despite this, he did his best to slowly let that breath out.

He needed to make sense of what just happened. Knowing the situation would make him calmer– no, it would make it easier to calm down.

Shuichi was back in his room, that was easy to figure out. Last he remembered, he had been in Tsumugi’s room, working out the whole time loop problem. He knew now that insisting it was impossible was futile, because look where he was now; hearing those bells of the empty nighttime announcement for a fifth time. This was getting ridiculous.

From what he gathered, he had to do something that changed the course of natural events, and then time would start progressing normally again. That “natural event”... the only thing he could think of was the murder. The blood in the press. Kaito. He had to find some way to stop that from happening.

Tsumugi did bring up a good point, though– he couldn’t stop something from happening if he didn’t even know what happened. There was no way for him to investigate the crime scene, since it seemed like whenever the body discovery announcement played, the loop restarted. Unless he got there before all of his classmates– which he wouldn’t be able to do because of the alarm on the shutter– he wasn’t going to figure anything out.

A good starting point would be K1-B0, who claimed to have witnessed quite a few things. If Shuichi knew what exactly the robot saw that night, then he’d be one step closer to unraveling the truth of the case.

It was when he was brainstorming where to find K1-B0 that he was hit upside the head with something. He had turned away from Tsumugi for less than a minute, and… God, she attacked him, didn’t she? Tsumugi was the one who hit him.

Whatever he was hit with was too hard to be her hand, and it felt like a solid swing. In fact, it felt about equivalent to being bashed in the head with a rock– no wonder he had such a splitting migraine now. She must have used some sort of weapon on him.

Weapon… that’s it! There was only one weapon he saw at that time. Her Electrohammer. She had swiped it off of the ground while he wasn’t looking and whacked him with it.

But why? Why, why, why would she do that? She had been so on board with helping him out, so why would she attack him?

No, there was more to it than that. When he was hit, it felt like all of his senses had been knocked straight out of his body. Everything that allowed him to function as a person had been ripped out from beneath him, including his ability to process. It was as if his entire body stopped functioning.

The realization struck him suddenly and swiftly. It forced the air right out of his lungs, his eyes popping open for him to gape uselessly at the ceiling in horror.

Did…

Did he die?

It was such an unbelievable thought, one that he desperately wanted to dismiss right away, but he couldn’t. He didn’t imagine he simply slept through the morning mission– he was sure he would know if he was asleep or not. Being knocked unconscious didn’t feel like that, he was sure of it.

If he was the victim of a time loop, then it wasn’t totally impossible for him to have died.

Died. Shuichi died. He was murdered by one of his own classmates– his friend– for some reason he could not possibly fathom. Was that really what death felt like? One moment, you were there, and then the next it was all ripped away from you, like a rug being pulled beneath your feet?

Is that what all his other classmates felt too…? That sudden rug-pull of all senses?

Shuichi didn’t like it. It wasn’t as scary in the moment, but now that he was back, he was petrified.

Dying. Death. Shuichi’s life had been killed by one of his own classmates.

For a while, Shuichi could only lay there, reassuring himself that he was still here. He tasted the air, breathed in the scent of his bedsheets, listened to the idle buzzing of the room. He could see everything around him– his chair, his bed, his charging Electrohammer, his desk– and he could feel himself, too. His clothes. The liquid slowly trailing down his forehead. The surface beneath him. His hands, his hair, his chest and his head.

It was okay. He was okay. He was alive now, and that’s what mattered.

Unwilling to stand up, Shuichi brought his hands up to his face and let out a shaky breath. He couldn’t let himself be stalled by this any longer than he needed to be– he had a much greater problem at hand. Namely, this time loop situation. He’d have to figure out what Tsumugi’s motives were later.

Whether Tsumugi had truly believed him or not, she brought up a good point. Solving the murder before it even happened was the best way he could prevent it, so that’s where he’d start. Figuring out what else K1-B0 had witnessed was a good place to begin his investigation, but he did also contemplate simply going to the hangar and waiting to see what happened. K1-B0 mentioned he saw an Exisal enter the hangar, so if that was before the murder occurred and Shuichi stayed out of the Exisals way… he might even be able to bypass the shutter’s electric barrier and alarm simply by following the Exisal straight in. All Shuichi had to do was figure out when that was going to happen.

The problem was that Shuichi didn’t know exactly where K1-B0 was right now, or when he went to try to negotiate with Kokichi.

(“...if you’re in a time loop, then you can use that to your advantage...”)

Death was not permanent right now. Shuichi had learned that first hand. So long as he played his cards right, he could end the time loop with no casualties.

As Shuichi thought about it, he groaned quietly.

This was going to be a lot harder than he anticipated.

Chapter Text

Shuichi was exhausted when he finally reached the dining hall. He didn’t sleep last night– he spent the hours until morning sitting up, walking in circles, showering and constantly checking himself in the mirror. It was fine, though. The loop will repeat tomorrow.

“Nyeeeh! We’re all here!” Himiko exclaimed as usual.

“Is everyone ready?” asked K1-B0.

“Of course!” Tsumugi affirmed, making Shuichi shiver. “My Electrohammer is all recharged!”

What an awful thing to get hit by. Shuichi’s head still ached from the blow he received.

“Shuichi?” Maki’s voice made him jump. “Don’t fall asleep on your feet. It’s an important day.”

It was an important day Shuichi was already tired of dealing with, especially when he knew for sure what they were going to find at the hangar. Time loops. Not recommended.

“Okay,” was all he could say in response. “Let’s… go save Kaito.”

Maki narrowed her eyes at him, looking almost suspicious.

“Before we go,” K1-B0 thankfully interjected, “there’s something I want to share with you all. Last night, I went to the hangar to try to talk to Kokichi.”

“You went to the hangar…?” Maki asked, which was an eerie echo of the response she had given Shuichi.

“Yes. I thought it would be preferable for him to release Kaito peacefully,” K1-B0 explained.

“How did it go?” Tsumugi inquired, shifting her Electrohammer in her hands. Shuichi sidled a step away from her, trying to keep his focus on K1-B0.

“It went about as well as I expected… there was no response at all,” the robot sighed. “But I did witness a few things."

There. That’s where it was. All Shuichi needed to do was learn everything here, and then he could spend the next loop at the hangar.

“Wh-What? What… did you witness?” Himiko asked with an undeniable note of nervousness.

“Please,” Shuichi added, staring at him intently. “Tell us everything. We should go there with no doubts holding us back.”

K1-B0 seemed a little taken aback at his intensity, but he nodded. “Right… it may delay us for a few moments, if that is okay. First, what’s relevant to our mission is that while I was trying to speak to Kokichi, I saw one of the Exisals previously protecting Monokuma enter the hangar. I made sure to stay out of sight while I watched. Neither the alarm system nor the electric barrier reacted to the Exisal’s presence.”

Tsumugi hummed. “Does that mean the alarm system and the electric barrier don’t work on the Exisals?”

“Considering it’s where the Exisals are stored, that would be a safe assumption,” K1-B0 agreed. “The second thing I saw is a little less related, but… I saw Himiko carrying a black case into the hangar.”

All eyes immediately turned towards the mage, who froze like a deer in headlights.

“You… did?” Himiko squeaked indiscreetly.

“What were you doing, Himiko?” Tsumugi asked her. “Why were you at the hangar?”

“Why were you at the hangar?” Maki questioned as well, though her general aura was about ten times more intimidating.

“I-I was giving something to Kaito,” Himiko explained stiffly. “I couldn’t sleep last night, s-s-so I decided to go on a bit of an evening stroll. Kaito called out to me, and he asked me t-to go… get something for him.”

“You spoke to Kaito?” Shuichi demanded in alarm. Last night… I’m assuming this was before Keebo went into the hangar and saw the Exisal.

“All he told me to do was to get him one of the black cases from M-Maki’s lab,” Himiko said, shrinking away from the assassin’s dark look. “And he told me to bring just one crossbow arrow. He said he was going to disable Kokichi.”

Shuichi stiffened, horror coursing through his veins.

(“Don’t you worry! I’ll do something about all this! That’s a promise! All you guys are working so hard, so I can’t just sit back and relax!”)

Part of Shuichi wanted to run straight to the hangar. His legs screamed at him to move, to get to his friend as fast as possible before Kokichi could retaliate against him, but his body remained firmly in place.

Shuichi knew that, logically, it was far too late to save Kaito.

This time, he reminded himself firmly. I’ll always have another chance later.

Hm. He got used to this fast. Maybe dying affected him in more ways than one.

“We shouldn’t waste any time then,” K1-B0 announced, drawing Shuichi’s attention back to reality. “Kaito could already be in need of serious aid!”

“Let’s go,” said Maki, rushing out of the dining hall first. Everyone else followed closely behind, their footsteps now quickened with urgency.

Shuichi let out a sigh, knowing perfectly well that whatever they did now was futile.

–

Sixth time’s the charm, no one ever said.

Instead of staring blankly at his ceiling and trying to settle back into functioning as a human being, Shuichi was entering the corridors that led to the Exisal hangar. He had staked out here for a while, and as Himiko had said, she did come here for an evening stroll a little while after the nighttime announcement. She did talk to Kaito, and soon returned with a large black case for him.

The green Exisal hadn’t left its post yet. Shuichi was sitting against the wall by the bathroom window, simply waiting for something to happen. Kaito was eerily quiet in there, and as much as Shuichi’s heart ached knowing he was willingly allowing whatever was happening next to occur, he didn’t want to do it over again.

While he was sitting here, he had been trying his best to figure out why Tsumugi would kill him. The thought had been haunting him ever since it happened, which felt like lightyears ago despite it only being… what? One night ago?

Understanding time in a time loop was confusing. It was two attempts ago, how about that.

One of the most plausible theories he had was that she was alarmed by the notion that he was going to try to stop what happened in the hangar. For some reason, she wanted this murder to happen, even though Shuichi was fairly confident that she wasn’t the culprit or even involved.

Why? She wanted to stop the killing game as much as everyone else. Why did she go as far as to kill Shuichi to keep him from saving Kaito?

Did… she assume that Kokichi was the one to die? Maybe she was trying to keep Shuichi from saving a Remnant of Despair– the mastermind’s– life. Shuichi couldn’t exactly say that he was very fond of the measures she took to keep that from happening, but it was the best explanation he could come up with.

That, or she had simply been looking for an excuse to kill. Hell, maybe she had some hidden, twisted part of her that adored the killing game, like Kokichi claimed to have. Shuichi really wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt though.

He’d have to keep an eye on her, he decided. Stop the murder first, and maybe figure out what Tsumugi’s deal was if he had time afterwards.

All of the sudden, Shuichi saw a flash of gray out of the corner of his eye and he turned his head. These corridors were quite long so he doubted anyone would be able to hear those two, but he saw K1-B0 walk past and make a direct right turn to head to the shutter. This must be when he tries to negotiate with Kokichi, Shuichi realized.

“Heyyyo. Oh, good! You’re still alive.”

The voice made him freeze. It was a voice he hadn’t heard in days, but its ominously cheerful tone felt like a physical attack on his heart.

Kokichi Ouma, Remnant of Despair and mastermind of this killing game.

Shuichi didn’t dare to move. He could hear the two of them through the bathroom window, and he didn’t want to imagine what might happen if he was caught here.

“Just wanted to check in on my second favorite hostage,” Kokichi sneered. “I was worried you’d keeled over and died. Buuut you didn’t.”

“Kokichi!” Kaito growled, and there was a sharp shuffle as, he assumed, Kaito stood. “Heh… about time you showed up!”

“Aww, did Kaito miss m– what is that.”

“I had a delivery earlier,” Kaito told him triumphantly. “See? My friends are always helping me out. And if you don’t let me go and stop this bullshit right now, either I’m busting out of here or they’re busting me out!”

Kokichi was quiet for only a split second before he started giggling. “They felt so bad for you they gave you a toy! Isn’t that so sweet? Your pets are so loyal, Kaito. I’m impressed.”

“The– They’re not my pets! And it’s not a toy. It’s a crossbow. If you get to have the Exisals, I can have this!”

“I don’t know… seems kind of like you’re playing unfair. You’re bringing a crossbow to a fist fight? Where’s your honor, Kaito? Your dignity?”

“Grrh… shut up! Listen man, I won’t let you have your way anymore,” Kaito snapped impatiently. “I’ll fight you to get out of here if I need to!”

Kokichi scoffed. “What are you gonna do? Shoot me?”

Shuichi didn’t think he could have chosen any worse of a choice of words.

There was a shout of pain from the boy, and then a loud grunt as he assumed Kaito lunged at him. Shuichi listened nauseously as there was a muffled string of curses, the sound of a door slamming, and even more distant shouting. He couldn’t hear much from the window anymore, so he assumed that Kokichi had tried to flee, unsuccessfully, further into the hangar.

Actually, maybe he couldn’t hear anything because of the heavy, thudding footsteps coming his direction.

The Exisal, Shuichi realized, using the wall to support himself into a standing position. It’s coming this way. This must be when it enters the hangar, so Keebo must be…

As he suspected, K1-B0 appeared from around the corner on the opposite end of the hall, visibly alarmed. However, due to Shuichi’s utter lack of stealth and good hiding spots, their eyes locked for a solid second before K1-B0 suddenly started sprinting towards him.

Just in time, too. He managed to get around the corner, joining Shuichi’s side against the wall, as the green Exisal stomped right past them, moving seamlessly towards where K1-B0 had just been.

Shuichi realized with a sinking feeling in his gut that he might know why that Exisal was on its way. Kaito stood no chance against that thing.

“What on earth are you doing here?” K1-B0 demanded in a low voice. “How long have you been standing there…?”

“I’m…” Shuichi trailed off, frantically clawing for a good excuse. “I-I’m keeping lookout. I’m making sure, um, everything goes smoothly for tomorrow.”

“I never saw you enter the hangar!?” K1-B0 shot back, gesturing wildly in the direction where the Exisal had just come from.

I need to see what’s going on in there, Shuichi thought with a helpless glance down the hall. “I came in early, right when the nighttime announcement played. I’m going to go see what that Exisal is doing.”

“You’re what?” K1-B0 yelped as Shuichi began moving. “That’s much too dangerous, Shuichi! You’re not even armed! And you look exhausted! Have you slept…?”

“...I’ll just take a quick peek,” Shuichi promised, wasting no time in hurrying after the Exisal. “I’ll stay out of sight, I promise!”

K1-B0 did not look convinced, but he didn’t dare shout after Shuichi. A good choice, even if Shuichi wasn’t sure if the Exisals could hear or not.

His heart thudding painfully in his chest, Shuichi cautiously peered around the corner. The Exisal was still in front of the shutter, the electric barrier crackling and pressing a yellow glow on the Exisal’s metal. He was faintly aware of K1-B0 beside him, and the two of them watched as both the alarm and the electric barrier shut off. The shutter creaked and groaned before slowly, slowly beginning to open.

“Huh…?” K1-B0 whispered. “The alarm and electric barrier shuts off for the Exisals…?”

“I guess,” Shuichi hummed noncommittally. “We could probably sneak inside right now if we wanted to.”

K1-B0 shot him a horrified look. “Did you hit your head too hard, Shuichi? You usually have such good judgment.”

That blow better not have messed with my head, Shuichi thought in alarm. The possibility that he might be experiencing aftereffects of such a hard hit hadn’t even occurred to him until now. He mostly felt normal, aside from his obvious lack of proper rest.

“You should go back,” Shuichi suggested instead of answering. “I’ll follow you in a moment, I promise. I just want to see what’s happening.”

“I apologize, Shuichi, but I don’t know if I should leave you alone when you're exhibiting such odd behavior,” K1-B0 unfortunately shot him down.

“It’ll be easier for one of us to spy than two,” Shuichi reasoned back, eyeing the Exisal worriedly. It was starting to move again, causing both him and his friend to flinch. “Keebo, please. Before Kokichi hears us.”

“I can’t leave you alone,” K1-B0 stubbornly insisted. “Let’s watch together. Just stay quiet.”

Knowing this wasn’t a battle he had the energy to win, Shuichi gave in. He shuffled forwards from his hiding spot and moved to peek into the hangar itself, where he could see Kaito and Kokichi staring up at the Exisal in utter shock.

“What the hell–” he heard Kaito sputter. Kokichi looked similarly nervous– even more so, actually.

The cockpit clicked, and it flung itself open.

No, wait– it was pushed open.

It was hard to see from the back, but luckily, Kaito’s voice was loud enough for him to identify the person in the Exisal.

“Wha– Maki!?”

Both K1-B0 and Shuichi exchanged looks with one another.

What is Maki doing here? Shuichi wondered as he saw Kokichi fumbling for something in his pocket.

Without barely a moment’s hesitation, Kokichi whipped out a remote, trying to scramble further away from the Exisal and Kaito–

There was a zip in the air, and then Kokichi let out another pained cry, this one somehow worse than the last. The remote clattered to the floor and Maki was quick to keep Kokichi from reaching for it, a crossbow of her own already loaded and poised with another arrow.

“Don’t move,” Maki hissed, and for once, Kokichi actually listened, taking to one knee and glaring up at her from the floor. “If you don’t want me to end your pitiful life right now, then talk. That arrow was poisoned, and if you tell me everything about your plan, I might get you the antidote. Tell me why you would do this to us.”

Somehow, Kokichi had the nerve to laugh. “Poisoned arrow? Wow, you really are… some assassin. J-Just your style, huh?”

Maki took a threatening, looming step closer to him. “Talk, or you die. What’s the point of this killing game? Were you really just bored?”

Shuichi felt sick to his stomach. He was sure K1-B0 would feel the same if he had one. Maki…

So that’s why she didn’t have her hammer. She hijacked an Exisal and broke into the hangar.

We were going to save him together, Maki… so why…?

“I already told you everything,” snapped Kokichi, his thin frame tense as he glowered at Maki. “Wh-What else do you want me to tell you? My tragic backstory?”

“Don’t mess around with me!” Maki shouted, her voice dripping with scorn. “I’m sick of playing your stupid games. Why would you start the killing game? How many people have to die for you to be satisfied? But,” she snarled, “I guess it’s just like you Remnants of Despair to enjoy such senseless killing.”

“Maki Roll…” Kaito tried, but his voice was uncharacteristically quiet, as if even he was afraid to interfere with Maki when she was like this.

“Wh-What… are you talking about?” Kokichi breathed in what appeared to be momentary, genuine confusion. “Remnants of Despair… what’s that? I-I don’t understand… anything… you’re saying.”

“We need to stop this,” K1-B0 urgently whispered to Shuichi. “If Maki kills Kokichi–”

“Hold on,” Shuichi cut him off, his eyes trained intently on the brutal scene in front of him.

“But, a-anyway.” Kokichi hung his head, taking in a deep breath before continuing. “Why are you… starting up the k-killing game… when it should’ve ended? Y-You already know it’s all meaningless… and th-that I’m the mastermind.” His voice dropped, and for just a second, Shuichi thought he heard honest uncertainty. “Do you… love killing that much?”

Maki’s shoulders went rigid, and after a brief pause… “...shut up, you asshole!”

Terror seized Shuichi’s chest in cold, suffocating talons as he watched Maki pull the trigger– the killing blow. K1-B0 darted past him, shouting something that sounded like Maki, stop! and causing both Maki and Kokichi’s heads to turn in shock.

But there was one person who didn’t falter at the sight of K1-B0.

Kaito’s arm flew in the path of the small arrow, and Shuichi watched in horror as it tore through his coat’s sleeve, embedding itself in its skin.

Poisoned arrow. Those words sang its cruel melody in Shuichi’s mind.

Pieces were starting to click together. The tiny hole in Kaito’s jacket under the press– the poisoned arrow.

There was no arm. But they were both poisoned.

With what? What did she shoot them with? How long do they have?

“...what?” Maki inhaled as she saw what she had done.

“Kaito!” K1-B0 cried out, rushing to the astronaut’s side.

“Ow… Keebo?” Kaito looked earnestly confused. “How did–”

“Wh-What the hell are you doing here!?” Kokichi shouted at the robot, his gaze hardening into something that looked more like fury. “Anyone else want to j-join the party!? Himiko? Shuichi!?”

“Nevermind that.” K1-B0 turned towards Maki, who had dropped the crossbow and was staring at Kaito’s arm. “What was that arrow poisoned with!?”

“Strike-9 Poison,” Maki replied automatically, her voice dry. “Kaito, you– you idiot! Why would you do that!? You– t-there’s an antidote in Shuichi’s lab. I’ll go get it! Don’t move!”

“Yeah, y-you, uh… do that, Maki Roll,” Kaito agreed, eyeing the arrow in his arm anxiously. “Do it! Hurry!”

Maki didn’t hesitate a moment longer. She zoomed past Shuichi at speeds he didn’t think possible, not even noticing him in her rush.

“Keebo, how did you get here?” Kaito asked the robot, taking his eyes off of Kokichi.

“The shutter’s alarm turns off when it opens,” K1-B0 explained. “I originally stayed to monitor Shuichi, but I couldn’t simply sit here and watch this happen! For the sake of hope, we can’t allow anyone else to die!”

“Shuichi’s here!?” Kaito’s head swiveled towards the open shutter and Shuichi quickly ducked out of view, guilt stirring in his stomach. He was the one who insisted they watch everything unfold– even if Shuichi would just be sent back to the start of the night upon somebody’s death, he couldn’t help but feel terrible for his poor actions now.

It’s not fair to use these time loops to escape consequences. Shuichi squeezed his eyes shut, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyelids. There was a pressure in his head, building and building as his bottom lip trembled dangerously. I’m terrible. I could have stopped this from happening if I ran in there the minute it opened.

Despite this guilt, Shuichi couldn’t help but wish that the loop would simply restart already. He knew what he needed to– he didn’t need to see the rest.

At least Shuichi knew what he needed to know. He could start forming a plan of action to stop this murder from happening in the next loop. He might as well just… let everything play out now, right? He didn’t have a choice in the matter either way– everything was set in stone, and he was sure there was no way to save both of them.

He knew his lab all too well. There was only one available antidote for every poison.

Someone, either Kaito or Kokichi, was going to die. And this time, it was all Shuichi’s fault.

No longer able to bear being here, where Kaito might die within the hour, Shuichi turned away from the open shutter, his emotions starting to become overwhelming. Maki would be back any second, and he didn’t think he’d be able to handle her too. She’d ask what he was doing here as well, and then she’d wonder why neither he nor K1-B0 had intervened. Kaito would wonder that too, and they’d realize that Shuichi willing let this happen, knowing the consequences. He virtually killed his best friend with his own two hands by his lack of interference.

It was selfish of him, he knew it was. But Shuichi ran away.

He ran all the way back to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him and collapsing onto his bed and burying his face into his bedsheets, unable to face the world.

Exhaustion strained his body from his lack of sleep. Guilt and grief weighed heavily on his chest, straining his lungs as he tried desperately to gasp for air. Mixed with his renewed self-hatred, he couldn’t help but wonder why it had to be him that had to do this. He should be delighted that he had a chance to save Kaito from dying, and Maki from killing him.

So why did he feel so awful? Why did everything feel so helpless?

(He wondered, for only the briefest moment, that maybe… if he was the one to kill himself…)

It was hopeless. He couldn’t do anything. Hope’s Peak Academy attendee or not, Shuichi really wasn’t anything special. His classmates were slaughtering each other and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it– he sat back and watched it go down. He knew he needed to– he’d always have another chance the next loop, and knowledge was power– but that didn’t change the fact that everything was actually happening. He felt the truest, honest pain in his soul when he saw his classmates hurting and getting hurt. 

(He hated to admit it, but even Kokichi, the mastermind and a Remnant of Despair, was difficult to watch get hurt. It was difficult to simply dismiss his own feelings.

Kokichi’s hand had been so… warm. Their time spent playing games together had been so real. Was that all an act? Or did Kokichi enjoy his company as a Remnant of Despair?)

For the first time since this all started, Shuichi let himself cry. He cried as hard as his body would allow him to. He cried for his dead friends, his dying friends and for himself, because he didn’t know if anyone else would.

He cried until he inevitably fell asleep, leaning half-way on his bed with his knees on the floor and his hands weakly clenching the sheets.

Ding dong.

Ding dong.

Ding dong.

Instinctively, Shuichi shifted to cover his ears from the persistent sound.

Ding dong.

Ding dong.

It didn’t stop. Life comes at you fast, apparently.

Groaning, Shuichi rose from his highly uncomfortable position, wincing as his entire body creaked. He stretched out his arms and back, glancing blearily around the room in an attempt to locate that irritating sound.

Ding dong.

Ah. Someone was at his door.

Shuichi partly contemplated simply going back to sleep, but he feared that the next measure his classmates would take would be to break down his door. So with a heavy heart and a longing look at his bed, Shuichi dragged himself to his door.

To say he was surprised to see all of his classmates standing there was an understatement.

…almost everybody. Kaito and Kokichi were still absent.

“Shuichi!” K1-B0 exclaimed in relief. “Thank goodness, you’re okay!”

“You look… terrible,” Tsumugi commented. “Are you okay?”

“At least he wasn’t shredded by an Exisal,” Himiko pointed out.

Shuichi blinked at her, still not entirely comprehending reality. Was he in a new loop, or was this the same one? Why did Maki look so shattered?

“Listen, there’s no time. Grab your Electrohammer,” K1-B0 ordered him hurriedly. “We’re performing the mission right now.”

“Um.” Shuichi stared at him, letting those words process in his mind. “...why?”

“You saw what happened, according to Keebo,” Maki finally cut in. “When I left to get the antidote, Kokichi said he was going to make the Exisals attack you. Keebo ran out to protect you, and Kokichi locked the shutter again.”

Antidote? So she did come back with it. “Did you give Kaito the antidote…?”

Maki’s already grim expression darkened. “Kokichi stole it from him… and drank it.”

“So we have to hurry!” Tsumugi urged him. “I-If you can, Shuichi. If you need to stay here, that’s okay too.”

“Ah, sorry. I can come.” Despite how much he really didn’t want to come, Shuichi rushed back into his room to grab his Electrohammer. It wasn’t yet at full charge, but that was okay. Shuichi was sure he wouldn’t be battling any Exisals.

With everyone armed, they raced back towards the Exisal hangar, dread following Shuichi like a stalking predator. The stars were still twinkling in the sky no matter how fake they were, so it was still nighttime. He must have only gotten an hour of sleep at most.

Some sleep was better than none, he supposed.

Maki was already gripping the Electrobomb she had before they even reached the shutter. She had darted to the lead, and thus was the first one to make it there. Shuichi was the last, his body groaning in agony from the overexertion.

That could wait, though. Maki hadn’t yet triggered the Electrobomb. Instead, she was holding it up and staring at the shutter in confusion. Shuichi could understand why.

The alarm system was already powered down.

“Wh–What the…?” Himiko stammered as she saw the lack of lights as well.

“Why would Kokichi leave himself open like this…?” Tsumugi murmured with a wary glance at her fellow classmates. Shuichi remained a few feet away from her, hurriedly pushing the phantom feeling of her Electrohammer against his head away.

“Is this a trap…?” K1-B0 worried.

“Trap or not,” Maki hissed, suddenly brandishing a knife she had acquired from virtually nowhere, “we’re going in. Keebo, open the shutter.”

“Err… yes, I’m on it!”

Giving the control panel a firm whack, K1-B0 quickly overrode the electric barrier and opened the shutter.

Honestly, Shuichi thought, he didn’t know what else he was expecting.

But just as before, there was blood. And just as before, Kaito’s coat sleeve dangled limply from the two metal slabs.

Seems like they were an hour too late.

–

ding dong bing bong

Shuichi rubbed his eyes, staring up at the empty nighttime announcement.

Okay. That was fine. It was a new loop, which means he had a fresh start on everything. He’d stop the murder from happening, which meant he needed to stop Maki from going through with her interrogation.

That meant that he’d need to start moving now, though. He estimated he had roughly an hour before Maki made her move to the Exisal hangar, and Kaito would be utterly screwed if Shuichi didn’t do something now.

As Shuichi left his bedroom, his tired mind was working overtime to try and piece everything together. K1-B0’s interference made everything a little more difficult, but Shuichi supposed he could make a somewhat clear picture with everything he got from last time.

The key points, he thought, were this: Himiko delivered Kaito his crossbow. Kaito and Kokichi began fighting around the same time K1-B0 entered the hangar to try to negotiate with Kokichi, and when Maki hijacked one of the Exisals protecting Monokuma. Maki entered the hangar, shot both Kaito and Kokichi with a poisoned crossbow arrow, and then ran to find the antidote.

This is where things got tricky, but if he guessed right, then he assumed that Maki returned with the antidote to find the shutter closed. She tried to give it to Kaito through what could only be the bathroom window, but Kokichi stole it and drank it. Those marks on the control panel must have been Maki’s panicked attempt to get back into the hangar, clearly to no avail.

That’s where things got odd. If Maki successfully approached the control panel, then the alarm didn’t go off. And in every loop where Shuichi didn’t mess up the natural course of events, the alarm sensor was most definitely on.

Somehow, Shuichi might have a solution to this. It was something he had been wondering about for a while, and although farfetched, he might have an answer.

An Electrobomb.

Kokichi set off an Electrobomb at some point in the hangar– presumably after Maki fled. While doing this put Kokichi at a considerable disadvantage, there was one key thing that the Electrobomb disabled.

The hydraulic press’ safety function.

For some unfathomable reason, Shuichi was sure that Kokichi killed Kaito under the press. That was the only reason he could think of that Kokichi would trigger an Electrobomb. In fact, he was sure it was an Electrobomb, because in his last attempt, they arrived at the shutter when the effects of the device were still active. The Exisals surrounding where Monokuma should’ve been were all still (as he had noticed on his way there), and the alarm sensors were all off. Especially in that attempt, Kokichi would know better than to leave himself defenseless.

Shuichi was really, really hoping that if he stopped Maki from entering the hangar, Kokichi wouldn’t find the incentive to kill Kaito. Even though Shuichi still wasn’t sure of the exact reason for that, he supposed that he could always check again later if he really needed to. He’d just have to effectively get rid of K1-B0 and carefully stay out of Maki’s way.

With luck, it wouldn’t come down to that. Shuichi rang Maki’s doorbell, consciously trying not to look too dead on his feet.

It took a few moments, but the door eventually opened.

“What do–” Maki cut herself off as her expression morphed, her eyebrows pinched as her mouth remained agape for only a few seconds. “What happened to your face?”

“Excuse me?” Shuichi asked, knowing fully well what she was talking about.

“Were you crying?” Maki asked him bluntly.

Crap, was it that obvious? Shuichi hurriedly reached up to rub aggressively at his cheeks, hoping to clear any remnants of his previous breakdown.

“It’s fine. Not important,” Shuichi assured his friend unconvincingly.

Maki was visibly skeptical. “You looked fine this morning… did something happen?”

Oh, you have no idea. “Kind of. I-it’s just… can I talk to you about something serious? Please?”

“Sure,” Maki responded simply. She stepped fully out of her room and closed the door behind her, now standing in front of Shuichi. “What is it?”

Not wanting to risk being interrupted by Himiko leaving for her evening walk, Shuichi gestured for Maki to follow him. “Let’s talk in the courtyard.”

It had been a while since he and Maki were under the stars together like this. The last time he had spent any time with Kaito or Maki was before the fourth trial– unless you could count the night after, but that was more of Shuichi awkwardly watching Kaito and Maki from the sidelines than it was spending time with them.

How long have I been awake? Shuichi could only wonder. He hadn’t slept at all in the fifth loop– the one after he… was killed– and he only got an hour of sleep before being launched into this loop. That was… what? Twelve hours at most?

It felt like it had been so much longer.

“Maki,” Shuichi began, trying to work out how he was going to word this. “...I know what you’re planning to do tonight.”

Maki didn’t give him a reaction. That was okay, Shuichi supposed.

“I wanted to ask you… not to do it,” Shuichi continued pleadingly. “You already know that Kokichi isn’t going to tell you anything, and… I can’t let you kill him, Maki. You know Kaito wouldn’t want that.”

“...what are you talking about?” Maki questioned, and if it weren’t for the fact that Shuichi had watched her plan in motion, he might have been fooled by her feigned ignorance.

Might as well lay it to her straight. “You’re going to use an Exisal to break into the hangar, and you’re going to try to torture Kokichi for answers with a poisoned crossbow arrow. 

That made Maki flinch. Though once the initial shock had passed, her eyes narrowed dangerously, and Shuichi didn’t miss the way her shoulders tensed.

“How did you know that…?” Maki demanded lowly. “Do you want to die?”

Taking in a deep breath, Shuichi lowered himself onto his knees, not unaware of the alarm on his friend’s face. Then, he pressed his forehead against the cold ground and clasped his hands together.

“Please,” he begged fervently, his voice coming out as a pathetic, hoarse whisper. “Please wait until tomorrow.”

Shuichi couldn’t see Maki’s face, but judging from her silence, she was probably stunned. He could understand that– he hardly, if ever, got down on his knees and begged.

But honestly, he was desperate. He didn’t want to go into that hangar knowing it was too late. Even if only a little, he just wanted to feel the hope that everything would be okay this time.

“Stand up,” Maki snapped at him, sounding deeply perturbed. “Right now. Don’t ever do that again.”

Stubbornly, Shuichi didn’t budge. “Not until you promise you’re not going to break into the hangar.”

“What makes you think I was going to do that in the first place?” inquired Maki. When Shuichi didn’t respond, she huffed. “I won’t go to the hangar tonight, so get up.”

Feeling weak with relief, Shuichi got back to his feet, trying to hide the redness in his cheeks. Hopefully he wouldn’t ever have to do that again, but at least he knew it worked.

“Did something happen?” Maki asked him as he brushed himself off, her voice somewhat stiff with discomfort. “And how did you… know about that?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow,” Shuichi promised, though his words didn’t come out very confidently. “Once we save Kaito– it’ll be easier to explain. Just this once, please… trust me.”

Maki stared at him, as if she was trying to pick the truth out of his brain through the sheer power of her eyes. Shuichi refused to allow his resolve to waver, and he kept his own gaze on the grass below their feet.

“...you’re difficult to say no to sometimes,” was what Maki said when she realized he wasn’t going to budge. “Fine. I’ll wait. But I am going to kill Kokichi one way or another. I won’t allow the mastermind to get away with this.”

“Thank you,” Shuichi breathed, hardly registering that last part. “I’m sure Kaito can hold out for just one more night. He’s Kaito, after all– you know you can’t keep him locked up for long. And… he has faith in us, you know? I’m sure he trusts that we’ll save him.”

“...I guess so,” Maki agreed, her voice quiet. “Believing in others is something he tries to push.”

Shuichi nodded. “Also, you’ll need your energy for tomorro–”

“Okay, I get it. I told you, I won’t do anything tonight,” Maki repeated, this time with a firm note of finality in her voice. “I take it you won’t tell me what’s wrong, so I won’t ask. But after the mission tomorrow, you’d better tell me how you figured out my plan.”

That was a fair trade. Shuichi sincerely doubted that she’d believe him, but he’d cross that bridge if he got there.

If he got there. There was the very real possibility that he was going to fail.

Hopefully, that wouldn’t be the case.

“I will,” he assured her, hoping it would be true. “Thank you, Maki. We’ll save Kaito tomorrow– I’m sure of it.”

For the first time in a while, Maki gave him a small smile.

After bidding each other goodnight, the two of them returned to their respective bedrooms. Shuichi slumped against the nearest wall the minute he was alone, blowing out a massive breath as he finally dropped the emotional mask he had been trying so hard to wear. He was still so unsure about everything– what if this didn’t work? His initial theory was that if he took away Kokichi’s motive to kill Kaito, which was Maki’s original attack, then everything would be okay, but… what if he was wrong?

There was always the next loop. But Shuichi really wanted this to end as soon as possible. He was afraid of what might happen to him as a person if this continued on, because it was only his seventh attempt and he already felt as if he was changing.

That was going to be a difficult one to explain to his friends. How was he going to tell them he was in a time loop and expect them to take him seriously?

(If he did tell them, what if they brought a hammer to his head again–?)

Shuichi’s hand subconsciously found its way to the side of his head, and he grimaced.

“Ghh…” Too many questions with too few answers. He didn’t know if this was going to work, he didn’t know why this time loop was happening, he didn’t know what happened in that hangar after Kokichi drank the antidote and he didn’t know why Tsumugi killed him. He didn’t know anything.

One thing at a time, he tried to tell himself. First, he should go clean himself up– he hadn’t gotten the chance to wash his face yet, and it was starting to make him feel a little gross. Next, he should wait until he was sure that nothing was going to happen to let himself fall asleep or distract himself in any way. It’d be trouble if he let his guard down for even a moment and Maki ended up going to the hangar anyway–

Shuichi shot upwards, accidentally splashing water everywhere in the process.

What if Maki went to the hangar anyway?

It wasn’t that Shuichi didn’t trust Maki, it was more that he knew her. He had witnessed first hand just how far she was willing to go to save Kaito and stop the killing game– would Shuichi’s pleas really work on a resolve like that?

If Maki goes there tonight, I’m going to have to redo the entire loop–!

Shuichi did not want that to happen!

Turning off his sink, he booked it out of his bedroom. He knew one sure-fire way to keep anyone from entering those corridors, and that was to stand outside their doors. That’d mean that he’d have to be awake all night, and he risked questioning from his classmates considering both Himiko and K1-B0 were still going to try to enter the hangar. If he could keep anyone from going in there, maybe things would turn out differently for once.

What time is it? he wondered frantically as he ran through the courtyard, moving as fast as his legs would take him. If Himiko had already entered those corridors, then she was inevitably going to speak to Kaito.

He saw no one as he slowed to a stop in front of the set of large doors, and he took a moment to catch his breath, cautiously scanning the path behind him. He supposed he’d find out whether he was early enough or not in just a few minutes– it’d be a lot harder to convince Himiko to turn back if she had already spoken to Kaito.

Standing out here all night was going to be one hell of a challenge, especially considering what he had to do in the morning.

But it was a challenge Shuichi was willing to face if it meant he could save Kaito.

Chapter Text

To say Shuichi was upset was a severe understatement.

In lack of a better term, he was pissed.

As he promised himself, he stayed up all night standing guard outside the hangar. He managed to turn away Himiko just in time, helping her work through her worries about the mission tomorrow and sending her off to bed with her doubts lifted. K1-B0 was a lot more difficult to turn away, but he eventually did when Shuichi offered to do his task for him with the flimsy excuse that Kokichi was much friendlier towards him and not K1-B0, and so he was more likely to listen to Shuichi.

Maki never showed up. He wasn’t sure if that was because she saw him guarding the door or if he had legitimately persuaded her, but Shuichi didn’t see her all night. He assumed it was that first option.

Then morning came. Shuichi rushed back to his bedroom to grab his Electrohammer and joined his friends at the dining hall. Maki was glaring at him hard enough to make his head explode, and K1-B0 was giving him an undeniably curious look, but he didn’t care. He had been so stupidly hopeful– he had really thought that this one could be it. After seven attempts, none of his friends would die, and these time loops would be over and Shuichi could… preferably go to sleep.

But nope.

They opened the shutter, and wouldn’t you know it?

Blood everywhere. Coat sleeve visible in the press, clean of any small holes.

Shuichi wasn’t too happy about the loop, but it was fine. Everything was okay, and his spirits weren’t entirely crushed; only mostly. He had been partly expecting that to happen, and at least he had managed to extract a few answers.

One: it was indeed possible to successfully turn his classmates away from the hangar.

Two: that would not stop Kaito from dying.

And three: something other than Maki’s attack is what tipped Kokichi off.

Was it Kaito’s attack? Shuichi doubted Kaito would give up on a challenge simply because he had no weapon. He’d be at a significant disadvantage, yes, but Shuichi sincerely doubted something like that would stop Kaito. Or maybe Kokichi caught wind of the upcoming mission, and so he decided to strike first.

Who knows. Maybe Kokichi simply got bored. He was a Remnant of Despair, after all.

All of that is why Shuichi was back in the hangar now. He was way too out of it to even think about trying to persuade his classmates all over again, so he was waiting until Maki fled the scene after her failure to deliver the antidote. His hiding spot was the room with the three remaining Exisals, which were still stomping in endless circles around Monokuma. Each thud of their footsteps shook Shuichi to his very core, as if the very ground was trembling beneath his feet, but it was at least a good way to keep him from falling asleep.

(He hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours now, he was sure of it. Nighttime in the academy lasted ten hours, and he had stayed awake all throughout the night in that previous loop. Now he was here again, not sleeping and having no plans to.

This might be a bad idea. But as Shuichi had stated before, he wanted to end these loops as fast as possible. So even if he was exhausted and hungry and his entire body was running on nothing but determination… he would push himself forward, because he could only consciously let his friend die so many times before it started to take a toll on his sanity.)

Just as he was wondering when he would get the chance to sleep, the Exisals suddenly stopped. It was a bit of a jarring transition, going from constant sound to complete silence, but it served as a good time marker. Kokichi set off the Electrobomb.

Another few minutes passed, and there was a flash of red. Shuichi snapped back to attention in time to watch as Maki fled back down the hall, knife in hand and tears in her eyes. As bad as Shuichi felt for letting this happen yet again, he needed answers. He needed to understand that “natural course”.

So without a moment to lose, Shuichi hurried in the direction she had come from, beelining for the bathroom window.

As he arrived, he heard someone murmuring, “–slowly, dummy. Then breathe out.”

Shuichi pressed himself against the wall next to the window, 

“Ma–Maki Roll?”

“Nishi… nope! Just me!”

“Ghh– what the fuck did you… do…? What–?”

“You blacked out for a sec. But don’t worry! I won’t let you die. You– you have to cooperate with a little plan of mine, okay?”

“Plan?” echoed Kaito. “What plan?”

There was a shuffle of clothing as Shuichi assumed the two of them stood up.

“I’ve been thinking… this whole time… of a plan to throw the mastermind off guard,” Kokichi explained breathily.

“Throw them off guard?” Kaito demanded, unknowingly seeming to share Shuichi’s confusion. “What are you talking about? You’re the mastermind!”

“Ohhh…” Kokichi murmured, as if that was something he had forgotten. “...um, that was… a lie. I-I only pretended to be the mastermind.”

“Pretended!?”

“And you fell for it~ ♪” sang Kokichi, his voice layered with simultaneous amusement and weariness.

Shuichi had to cover his mouth with his trembling hand to keep himself quiet.

Pretended? He pretended to be the mastermind?

No. He could be lying. He might just be lying to get Kaito to work with him.

(“I stole your heart, so now I’m satisfied~! I don’t need to steal your life anymore!”

Those words had been so warm. His hand… was so warm…)

Thoughts. Too many fuzzy, warm thoughts. He needed to banish those from his mind and pay attention.

“Wh-What the hell!?” Kaito gawked as Kokichi finished listing all of his “set-up” actions. “Why’d you do all that…?”

“The reason why I pretended to be the mastermind… was to end this boring killing game.”

Shuichi blinked at the wall.

“To end it?” Kaito parroted his thoughts aloud.

“I thought if I showed you the despairing truth, you guys wouldn’t want to go outside anymore…” Kokichi had to pause to take in a deep breath. “I thought it would end the killing game. But instead… this happened. I’m gonna die by Maki’s hands.”

My hands, Shuichi’s mind whispered. I didn’t do anything again. I could’ve stopped this, just like… if I was paying attention… I could’ve stopped Kaede…

I did this. It was me.

No, Shuichi was letting this happen to stop it in the next loop. He had to let this play out– otherwise, he’d be fumbling around uselessly in the next loop.

But god, did it hurt to listen to now.

“Why do you think this happened?” Kokichi continued to question. “Why do you think Maki tried to kill me? Why do you think the game started again?”

“Why…?” Kaito dared to ask.

“Because the true mastermind instigated it. I’m certain of it. They made a move… without us noticing.”

…the true mastermind… instigated it…

“...so whoever that person is, they also instigated Maki’s actions, too?”

If Kokichi isn’t the mastermind… then…

“Then who is the true mastermind!?” Kaito asked exactly what Shuichi was thinking.

“Wh-Who knows? I dunno either… but it doesn’t matter. We… can’t lose. This game is pointless… unless you win. That’s why… I thought of a special plan… when I’m on the verge of losing, my plan will help me win!”

Everything clicked together, like a perfect puzzle finally connecting.

Shuichi was suddenly sure that Kokichi wasn’t lying. That “move” the mastermind made had to have been that Flashback Light in the dining hall– the one that allowed them to remember every last detail. It’s why they knew about Kokichi being a Remnant of Despair in the first place.

While he wasn’t sure how to explain Kokichi’s status as a Remnant of Despair, Kokichi not being the mastermind would answer something else that had been bothering him.

The motive behind Tsumugi's murder.

Death was a looming thought on Shuichi’s mind; especially now, when he knew Kaito was going to die here very, very soon. He couldn’t suppress the terrifying feeling of utter nothingness– having everything with you at one moment and it suddenly being ripped away from you the next. How many times had Kaito died now, because Shuichi was busy using these time loops as a resource…? How many times–

No, that wasn’t the point. The point was that he had been puzzling over Tsumugi’s motive ever since it happened, and he never had a concrete answer. All he had was speculation, and that wasn’t a very powerful tool in this case. 

However, this revelation might have inadvertently solved that entire problem. It was an awful thought… one that made Shuichi’s heart ache to contemplate… but placing Tsumugi into the role of mastermind would give him a plausible reason for his death.

The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. If Tsumugi was the one to instigate the murder as Kokichi had said, then of course she’d be alarmed when Shuichi came to her talking about how he wanted to stop that very thing. The killing game had gone into a deadlock because of Kokichi’s manipulation– she was probably secretly delighted when Shuichi brought it up. Truthfully, Shuichi doubted she believed him about the time loop in the first place– she probably wouldn’t have killed him if she did, knowing her actions wouldn’t be permanent.

Shuichi has to close his eyes for a moment. How did the first person he told about his predicament end up being the mastermind?

I might be wrong, Shuichi reminded himself. He wanted to be wrong, because admittedly, he had very little evidence to incriminate Tsumugi. But what he did have fit the picture all too well.

There was always the chance that Shuichi’s sleep deprived brain was just screwing with him, too. In fact, he was pretty sure he almost passed out simply from closing his eyes. 

“I don’t really get it, but is this the plan to throw off the mastermind?” Kaito’s voice drew Shuichi back into reality, and he remembered that oh yeah, this conversation was important.

“Well, it’s not that difficult,” Kokichi said all too casually for what came out of his mouth next. “Kaito, I need you… to kill me.”

Shuichi’s mind came to a screeching halt.

“Wha–!?” Kaito sputtered. “Are– are you out of your goddamn mind!?”

“I-I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Come here, I’ll show you! I have it aaaall w-written out… but, haha, you, um, will need to drag me. I am... very faint."

"Shit, man–!"

Their voices faded as, he assumed, Kaito dragged Kokichi out of the bathroom. He could still hear them very faintly, but not enough to make out any words.

That was the least of his concerns, though. He now knew everything he needed to.

His current problem was that he may have fundamentally misjudged this entire case.

Kaito… he wants Kaito to kill him? Shuichi’s mind was reeling. Everything he had been assuming about this murder was wrong– this wasn’t a typical murderer/victim dynamic. These two worked together to carry out… Kokichi’s murder…?

It wasn’t Kaito who died. That was only sinking in now– Kaito survived. No wonder Shuichi had failed last time– whether he kept his friend’s out of the hangar or not, Kokichi would still propose this plan to Kaito, who would accept regardless of the circumstances. In fact, he knew Kaito would accept because that is exactly what happened last time.

Knowing he wouldn’t be hearing anything else from Kaito and Kokichi, Shuichi pushed himself off the wall (nearly knocking himself over in the process) and began his somewhat wobbly journey back to his bedroom. There was one last thing he wanted to do in this loop, and for that he’d need his Electrohammer. Then he would end this loop and continue to the next, which would hopefully be his final one.

By the time he walked all the way to his bedroom to grab his Electrohammer and all the way back to the hangar (which took much longer than he’d like), his legs felt like jello. All-nighters usually didn’t feel this terrible, but that might be because he was being more physically active. Also, he was pretty sure he hadn’t eaten anything since this started. Maybe he should do that.

Whoops, his thoughts went off track. But luckily for him, the effects of the Electrobomb were still active, so all he had to do was tap the control panel with his hammer. That easily overrode the ridiculously long password and he was able to safely open the shutter.

Luckily for him, it seemed the deed was already done. There was an overabundance of blood seeping from the hydraulic press, and Kaito’s coat sleeve was present as always. He wasn’t sure where Kaito could have gone, but he supposed it didn’t matter right now.

Time to investigate the scene.

First, Shuichi was interested in the murder weapon: the hydraulic press. From the looks of it, the power cord had been severed, so there was no way anyone was going to be able to lift the press ever again. Shuichi didn’t bother to test this– it’d be a waste of energy. The coat sleeve itself must serve as a diversion of sorts– everyone would believe that Kokichi was the mastermind, and that he had killed Kaito with his own two hands.

This plan was to supposedly “throw off” the true mastermind. Shuichi still wasn’t sure how this murder accomplished that goal, but he was sure answers would come in time. Maybe he could ask Kokichi himself, knowing he wasn’t the mastermind.

…that thought was strangely relieving. Kokichi, somebody who had intrigued him for the entire killing game, wasn’t the evil, despicable person he tried to make himself out to be. He had used himself as a scapegoat to try to end the killing game for good.

(But… that didn’t confirm that he wasn’t a Remnant of Despair. In that case, it became all-too-convenient that a Remnant of Despair just so happened to falsely usurp the mastermind’s role.

Though… the more he thought about it… he simply remembered that Kokichi was a Remnant of Despair, trying to carry on Junko Enoshima’s legacy. How did he learn that, before his memories were erased?)

Shaking his head, Shuichi decided to move on. Thinking was hurting his head, and he wasn’t even sure if he was doing that coherently. His thoughts were sluggish and frustratingly slow, so maybe he should save the critical thinking for when he had a good night’s sleep.

The next area was glaringly obvious, and not just because of the long trail of blood that led from there to the hydraulic press. The bathroom was where all of this had started, and so it was only fitting that Shuichi checked out what was in there. Then he’d trigger the body discovery announcement and move on to the next loop. Simple as that.

In the bathroom, there was quite a bit of evidence. A crossbow lay on the ground– likely Kaito’s– as well as a black case, an empty glass bottle, and three, bloody crossbow arrows. This would have been the scene he found in the morning, once the investigation officially began with his friends.

He blinked down at the blood on the floor, then at the arrows. Two out of three of those arrows were poisoned.

Shuichi’s fingers twitched.

He died once, and it wasn’t pleasant. He was sure he’d hate death a lot less if he stayed dead.

Maybe… if he…

No… no! Shuichi shook his head aggressively and hurried out of the bathroom, feeling ill. It was too early to be thinking about such terrible things! Not everything was hopeless yet. He could still save his friends– Kaito, Maki and Kokichi. Then he could find evidence that Tsumugi was the mastermind, not Kokichi, and this entire killing game would end for good.

And then maybe he could take a very long nap. Shuichi would like that.

In all honesty, Shuichi hardly registered the walk back to the dormitory. He was so tired, and having absolutely nothing in his system was doing him no favors. This next time would be the last, he would make sure of it. The plan was a bit of a risky one, but it was the best he could come up with in his current condition.

This plan… all relied on Maki.

The first doorbell he rang was K1-B0’s. He rang it over and over, just to ensure he’d actually wake up. Shuichi had been very careful not to be spotted by the robot while in the hangar, so K1-B0 was a safe bet. K1-B0 always was a safe bet.

As he was wondering who the second person he should wake up was, K1-B0 opened his door, looking groggy. His blue eyes seemed dimmer than usual, somehow even more lifeless than before.

“Mmh… Shuichi?” K1-B0 murmured. “What do you need at this hour? Our mission is tomorrow. You should be getting rest– and why do you have your Electrohammer…?”

“Sorry.” Shuichi’s voice was quiet, briefly startling even himself. “I need you for something, if that’s okay.”

“What is it?” K1-B0, reasonably uncertain, inquired.

“Someone’s dead in the Exisal hangar.”

The words left his mouth before he could stop them, but at least it woke K1-B0 up right away. His eyes flew wide open and he gaped in horror.

“S-Someone is dead!?” K1-B0 exclaimed. “Who? What!? When!?”

“Go look,” Shuichi advised. “I’ll wake up everyone else. The shutter should be open, so hurry. B-But if it’s closed, here–” he shoved his Electrohammer into his friend’s hands. “–use this and get in.”

K1-B0 didn’t waste a single second. He nodded firmly, gripping Shuichi’s Electrohammer as he booked it out of the dormitory. That was at least one person down, so the next one would have to be either Himiko, Maki, or… Tsumugi.

Maki was a no-go. She was already probably blaming herself enough– it wasn’t fair to put that kind of stress on her, even if she’d forget it in just a few minutes. Himiko was directly involved in the case as well, in addition to her being nearly impossible to wake up at such ungodly hours.

That left… just one.

It’ll be fine, he tried to reassure his pounding heart. The murder already happened. Logically, she has no reason to kill me.

Tsumugi would be the easiest one to wake up, and the only one who wasn’t directly involved in the case. She would run straight to the crime scene, no questions asked. Of course, Maki would too, but she would think that it was Kaito who died. She would blame herself the entire way there.

Shuichi… didn’t want to do that to her.

His mind made up, he steeled his nerves and rang Tsumugi’s doorbell. His entire body was shaking as he waited, unable to bury the phantom feeling of that hammer colliding with the side of his head. He was sure his skull had broken– everything had faded out almost instantaneously when it happened.

What would have happened, if he stayed dead? Would his classmates have tried to solve his murder, or focus on who they would assume was Kaito’s? After all, he was sure Kaito was much more beloved by everyone, and it’d be a smart move on Tsumugi’s part to use the school rules to skirt around the consequences of her deed. Shuichi was useful, but he wasn’t sure if he was liked. He hoped they’d at least be upset, if anything.

A waste of a kill. That’s what Monokuma had said when Tenko was murdered. Shuichi would have been a waste of a kill.

The door opened slowly, making Shuichi jump.

“Huh? Shuichi…?” Tsumugi mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “Do you need something…? And why do you look so sad?”

“Someone’s dead in the hangar,” Shuichi told her with no emotion in his voice. He pointed in the general direction of the door outside, unable to meet her eyes. “Keebo’s already there.”

“Wh– someone’s dead!?” Tsumugi cried out in horror. Shuichi hated to think that he would’ve been fooled if he didn’t know that she was likely the one who wanted this. “Who? How did you even find out–?”

“I’ll wake up everyone else,” Shuichi reassured her a tad bit impatiently. “Please.”

“Oh, um… okay!” Tsumugi looked perturbed by his behavior, but nevertheless, she took off running.

Satisfied that his work was done, Shuichi leaned against the closest wall, staring blankly ahead of him. He wondered if each time loop was draining his energy somehow, because it shouldn’t be possible to be this tired on a mere twenty-four hour lack of sleep.

Whatever. It didn’t matter.

Now all he had to do was wait.

–

Loop number nine. This would be the last one.

This was probably an absolutely insane idea, but he was doing the best he could with such little energy, so hear him out.

The main goal of this loop was to not let Kaito get shot.

Disabling Kokichi was a good thing to do, as much as Shuichi didn’t want to hurt him. Not letting Kaito get shot required allowing Kokichi to be shot twice– once by Kaito, and once by Maki’s poisoned arrow– so this idea was riding on the hope that Maki would listen to him if he intervened and told her that Kokichi wasn’t the mastermind. She’d hopefully fetch the antidote when she realized Kokichi was… mostly innocent.

No matter how much Kokichi did to them– Gonta, especially– killing him wouldn’t end the killing game. Shuichi needed Maki to realize that.

Disable Kokichi, save Kaito, convince Maki to spare him, and then make sure Kokichi can’t enact his plan.

Sorry, Kokichi, but I’m not letting you win this time.

While Shuichi was waiting for Maki to enter the hangar, he tried mulling over different plans as well, just in case this one failed. Simply talking Maki out of her plan and then speaking with Kaito and Kokichi might work, but Shuichi’s main concern was that Kokichi wasn’t going to listen to him. His mind might already be made up, and if Shuichi couldn’t get into the hangar, then it would all be over. Using Maki would let him get into the hangar and disable Kokichi– at least long enough for Shuichi to make sure he wouldn’t try anything.

That probably meant he was going to have to stay awake all night to monitor Kokichi. The thought was already making him feel tired.

The sound of the doors opening made him jump, and Shuichi almost missed Maki with how fast she was moving. He stayed close to the wall, watching as she sped down the hallway and towards the Exisals, Electrohammer and crossbow in hand. Shuichi trailed after her a little more slowly, cautiously peeking around the corner.

Maki moved efficiently, that’s for sure. The closest Exisal to her was the green one, which she lunged at with the ferocity of a waiting snake striking its prey. As the Electrohammer made contact with the Exisal, it jerked backwards slightly before ceasing to move at all.

Tossing her drained Electrohammer to the side, Maki climbed up and into the cockpit. Shuichi quickly ducked back around the corner, not wanting to risk being caught.

He waited until he heard those loud, thudding footsteps break away from the others before he started moving. His timing was going to have to be quick– he’d wait until K1-B0 went by and then book it for the hangar. That way, he’d arrive pretty much right on time.

Maki was reasonable, he tried to reassure himself. She had at least some faith in Shuichi’s deductions, so she’d listen to him when he told her that Kokichi wasn’t the mastermind.

(“While I’m gone, you gotta support everyone. Especially Maki Roll. She can be reckless sometimes.”)

Shuichi really, really hoped his exhaustion hadn’t made him overlook anything.

As soon as K1-B0 passed by, Shuichi was running, almost tripping over his own feet the minute he started moving. From the circling Exisals to the hangar, it wasn’t far, but it sure felt that way when his task was so dire.

“...told you everything,” he heard Kokichi spat as he arrived at the open shutter, not even bothering to hide himself. “Wh-What else do you want me to tell you? My tragic backstory?”

“Don’t mess around with me!” Maki shouted at the boy. “I’m sick of playing your stupid games. Why would you start the killing game? How many people have to die for you to be satisfied?”

Now. If I don’t speak up now, it’s ruined.

Shuichi didn’t project his voice very often, especially not when he was so tired, but…

“MAKI!”

That actually seemed to surprise her. All three sets of eyes immediately turned towards him as he began walking into the hangar. His heart was pounding wildly, uncertainty and anxiety making his entire body shake.

“Shuichi?” Maki questioned, her red eyes narrowing into slits.

“M-My knight in shining armor,” Kokichi chortled, though his eyebrows were pinched in pain and his smile was pulled taut.

Before Maki could turn back towards him, Shuichi spoke again. “Wait, please… listen. Kokichi isn’t the mastermind.”

Kaito shot him a bewildered look at the same time Maki glowered at him, her gaze feeling absolutely suffocating.

“What are you talking about?” Maki demanded lowly, her voice sending shivers down Shuichi’s spine.

“Kokichi pretended to be the mastermind,” Shuichi told her. “Please, Maki, if you kill him… you’re going to start the killing game again.”

Kaito glanced between him, Maki and Kokichi, visibly puzzled. “Pretended…?”

“The killing game won’t start again,” Maki insisted, her crossbow leveled dangerously with Kokichi’s head. “When I kill the mastermind, it’ll all be over.”

“No– he’s not the mastermind!” Shuichi exclaimed urgently. “That remote he has to control he Exisal’s? M-Miu made that. Everything he’s done up ‘till now has been preparation for this exact situation! H-He has a plan, and if that plan happens, it’s going to kill him and Kaito.”

Maki’s head snapped towards him, a brief look of despair on her face. It was gone as soon as it came though, solidifying back into cold judgment.

“What the hell are you talking about, Shuichi?” Kaito asked him. “You’re talking total nonsense– and you look like shit, man! Have you slept?”

“I’m not going to listen to your delusions,” Maki growled, turning back towards Kokichi. “The killing game… your tricks… the Remnants of Despair. Tell me everything you know.”

Kokichi blinked owlishly up at her. “The who?”

Damn it, why wasn’t she listening? If Shuichi let this continue, Kokichi was going to end up running his mouth and getting himself shot, and then he’d screw himself and probably Kaito over.

Gritting his teeth in irritation, Shuichi hurried forwards, only stopping when he was in front of Kokichi. He turned sharply on his heel and held out his arm, meeting Maki’s eyes and trying not to look too hard at the end of her crossbow.

“What are you doing…?” Maki asked him, and he eyed her finger, which was still pressed threateningly on the crossbow’s trigger. “Don’t tell me you’re… protecting Kokichi?”

“I’m not moving,” Shuichi told his friend simply. “Please, listen to me, Maki. These aren’t just delusions. Kokichi isn’t the mastermind. Killing him is not going to end the killing game.”

“What are you judging this based off of?” Maki demanded. “Where did you even get this idea? No matter how suspicious his way of showing it was, it’s undeniable that Kokichi is the mastermind.”

“Because of a remote one of our classmates made?” Shuichi challenged. “You should know that there’s no way Kokichi is going to tell you anything, and that’s because he can’t. He doesn’t know any more than we do.”

Maki’s gaze was dark as she gazed at Shuichi, her eyes contemplative. She glanced at Kaito, who had backed a fair distance away and was watching everything go down in shocked silence, and then down at Kokichi, whose expression Shuichi couldn’t see. Judging from his silence though, Shuichi could only imagine how confused he was.

“Think about it,” Shuichi all but pleaded. “We only think that Kokichi is the mastermind because he told us so. Monokuma hasn’t confirmed anything.”

Actually, we haven’t seen Monokuma since he told us he was the mastermind, Shuichi realized at that moment.

“Why are you protecting him?” Maki asked instead of giving him a proper reply. “Where did you learn this information from?”

“I…” Shuichi trailed off, knowing he wouldn’t be able to answer that without sounding completely insane. “...y-you won’t believe me. But please, trust me on this. Kokichi is not the mastermind.”

Maki still looked doubtful, but at least she was hesitating. Shuichi risked glancing over at Kaito for help, who seemed to be entirely lost on the conversation.

“Shuichi… I’m not sure what you’re thinking,” Maki began slowly, and for a split second, Shuichi thought she had come around. “But something about you just isn’t right right now. Did Kokichi talk to you before this?”

What? “I’m being serious, Maki. If… if we ask Monokuma– or maybe if we confront the real mastermind, she’ll tell us something–”

“Shuichi…” Kaito interrupted him, and even he looked concerned. “I want to trust you, man, but even I can tell something is seriously up.”

Maki’s eyes were dark. “I wouldn’t put it past the mastermind to threaten someone into protecting him.”

“What the hell kind of wild conclusion is that!?” Shuichi barked, genuinely a little mortified. “Kokichi didn’t tell me to do anything! Kaito, would you let Maki kill someone? E-Even if it was the mastermind?”

Before Kaito could respond, or Shuichi could do anything… he felt a hand on his shoulder from behind.

“Shuichi…” Kokichi murmured. “...thanks. You’re such an unexpectedly useful pawn.”

Shuichi’s blood ran cold. 

“See? I don’t need my Exisals to stop you,” Kokichi sneered at Maki. “I have my trusty sidekick, who’d take a bullet for me any day. So if you wanna kill me… if you really love killing that much… you’ll have to shoot Shuichi.”

The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife, and even that would be hard. Shuichi and Kokichi stared down Maki and Kaito, who had joined the assassin’s side while Kokichi was talking. Shuichi’s body wouldn't stop shaking– his skin was boiling, and yet everything beneath it felt as cold as ice.

If Shuichi moved, Maki would kill Kokichi with no hesitation. That would restart the loop, and Shuichi would have to do this all over again.

“What will it be, Maki?” Kokichi urged the assassin, squeezing Shuichi’s shoulder slightly. The gesture would be reassuring if it weren’t for what Kokichi was doing.

I can’t let him take advantage of the situation like this! “Kokichi, stop–”

“Are you gonna shoot your friend to kill the mastermind?” Kokichi spoke over him, his voice smooth in an almost mocking kind of tone. “Or are you going to take Kaito and leave while you still can? Because…” he held something up, and Shuichi realized with a jolt that it was the Exisal remote. “...if you don't…~♪”

Kaito shot an alarmed look at the still Exisal behind him, but Maki didn’t avert her gaze. Her eyes were trained solely on the remote in Kokichi’s hands.

“Do you want to die?” Shuichi snapped at the boy behind him, lowering his voice to not be heard by his friends. “Knock it off, Kokichi.”

“Now you sound like Maki,” Kokichi replied almost teasingly, sharing his volume. “Protecting the mastermind… really, Shuichi? I-I didn’t know you’d sink so low.”

“You’re not the mastermind. I heard you tell Kaito– you explained how you did it,” Shuichi groaned in frustration. “I think I know who the real mastermind is, but I can’t tell you that if you get yourself killed.”

Kokichi arched an eyebrow at him. “I did what now?”

“Shuichi,” Maki called to him before Shuichi could fumble to correct his mistake. There was a strange glint in her eyes, one that immediately put Shuichi on edge. “...Kaito, can you run?”

Kaito blinked at her. “Maki?”

“In Shuichi’s lab, there’s an antidote for Strike-9 Poison on the desk closest to the poison cabinet,” Maki explained. “Go get it. Now.”

Despite how conflicted Kaito looked, he nodded hurriedly, shooting Shuichi one last confident grin before running out of the hangar with uneven footsteps. Much to his surprise, Kokichi allowed Kaito to leave; the Exisal stayed perfectly still.

“Of course you’d have to complicate things, Shuichi,” Maki sighed as Kaito left. “You always do. I don’t know what Kokichi said to you, but it doesn’t matter. I’m going to fight… to protect my friends. I’m going to kill the mastermind.”

Panic seized Shuichi’s entire body. “No– Maki! He’s not the mastermind! The message in the courtyard, the remote, the– wh-what he did to Miu and Gonta… they’re all part of his plan to pretend to be the mastermind. Disregard the fact he’s a Remnant of Despair for one second, and it makes sense, doesn’t it!? Why would he tell us he’s the mastermind? Why wou–”

There was a sharp prick in his left arm, spiraling bursts of pain exploding from that spot. 

He couldn’t help but cry out, his hand flying to that spot, where he was horrified to discover an arrow in.

Maki shot him. She shot him with a poisoned arrow.

“Shuichi–!” Kokichi yelped, momentarily seeming just as shocked as he was. He caught Shuichi as he stumbled, his legs feeling weak. “Wow… Maki is a cold-hearted killer! I guess that’s what you can expect from an assassin, though.”

This loop is doomed.

Shuichi felt light-headed. He could all but feel the poison spreading through his body, like a slow, growing wildfire that would soon consume him whole.

I can’t save both of us. This loop is doomed. Damn it… if Kokichi had just kept his mouth shut!

As suddenly as the arrow came, Maki was there, pulling him away from Kokichi and tackling the boy to the floor. Shuichi collapsed onto his knees, his eyes stuck to the ground.

He failed. Again. And this time, it was because of his own incompetence. If he had tried a little harder– if he hadn’t allowed Kokichi to twist the situation on him– then maybe Maki would have believed him. Maybe it all would have ended.

“Ghh–!” Kokichi choked out behind him. “Hh…haha… e-even if you kill me now, won’t it– ghhk–! Wo-Won’t it be too late… f-for your– for your fr-friends?”

“Shut up. I’m not listening to you,” Maki snarled. “Hurry up and die.”

Kokichi’s voice was weak and breathy, as if he was choking out every word with all the strength he had left. “K-Kai…to… is b-being… pursued by th…the Exisals… as we sp-speak–”

“What–?”

“They’re… on their way… right now,” Kokichi wheezed, though there was a triumphant note in his voice. “B-By the time you kill me, K-Kaito will have been… ripped apart by the Exisals, a-and… Shuichi will die… from the poi–poison.”

There was a thud, and Kokichi let out a strangled gasp, heavy pants coming from his direction. Shuichi glanced over his shoulder, seeing that Maki had stood up entirely, her eyes wide in horror.

He’s trying to drive her out of the hangar, Shuichi recognized. Kaito will be fine. He just wants to close the shutter.

“How– how much are they really worth to you?” Kokichi challenged the assassin, his voice raspy. “Kill me… or kill your friends trying?”

“Fuck you,” Maki spat at the boy, her voice dripping with such venom– such hatred– that it sent a chill even down his spine.

She didn’t say much after that, though. Maki turned on her heel and bolted out of the hangar, abandoning Shuichi with somebody who he was sure would soon be dead.

Unless I die first. Shuichi could only assume that every loop took a little more energy from him, so between that, his lack of sleep and his failure to eat anything, it was only a matter of time.

Shuichi didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to go through that again. He didn’t want to feel that way– the cut-off of life, of all sense of being. The thought was too terrifying to fathom.

The sound of the shutter closing made Shuichi lift his head, and he saw Kokichi by the control panel within the hangar. His neck looked redder than what could be normal– Maki must have been trying to choke him to death.

“Shuichi,” Kokichi said sweetly, slowly turning to face him. There was a pleasant smile on his face, but his words were anything but. “I am really, really mad at you right now.”

You know what? Screw maintaining his composure.

“I was trying to keep everyone alive you jerk,” Shuichi snarled, glaring as hard as he could at the seemingly unaffected boy. “Y-You just had to ruin it. You always ruin it. Why couldn’t you just– just shut up for once!?”

Kokichi didn’t reply. He was staring at Shuichi with a frustratingly pensive look, as if mulling through the possibilities in his head. Shuichi had noticed that he had a tedency to do that– whenever he was contemplating something, his expression wiped itself blank and he went quiet for a few moments.

“I locked Maki and Kaito out,” Kokichi reminded him coolly. “There’s no way you’re getting the antidote.”

Shuichi grit his teeth. “I know.”

Again, Kokichi went silent. His expressions were always really hard to discern genuinity from, but this was one of those less common instances that Shuichi could confidently say that Kokichi was downright confused.

“Huh… you’re not fun when you’re pouting,” Kokichi moped. He lightened back up quickly, though Shuichi could tell his heart wasn’t in the act. “It’s not my problem if you want to die that badly, though. So if you don’t mind, I’ll drink the antidote, ‘kay?”

Shuichi very much did mind, and even though he knew it wouldn’t make much of a difference, he couldn’t help the instinctive need to survive desperately wailing for the antidote. Guaranteed safety. Maki intended to give him the antidote from the very start– sending Kaito to get it wasn’t just her way of making sure he wouldn’t be an obstacle in such a controversial decision.

But if Kokichi was thinking what Shuichi thought he was thinking, then the antidote would wound up back in his hands anyway.

“It really is unfortunate,” Kokichi continued talking, if only to fill the air of silence. “I mean, she shot you because she was confident you’d get the antidote in time. For someone who said he was trying to prevent a killing, you sure want to die pretty badly, huh?”

“I don’t want to die,” Shuichi corrected him sharply.

“Then why don’t you want the antidote?” Kokichi questioned. “Why protect the mastermind, hmm? You’re not usually the type to contradict yourself, Shuichi. I’m really not liking this new personality development.”

Shuichi brought the hand of his uninjured arm to his face, covering his mouth as he stared helplessly at the floor. He was acting a little strange, he knew that, but surely he’d understand if he knew about the time loops, and why Shuichi had given up so quickly.

Faintly, he wondered how long it would take for this poison to kill him.

“Whatever it is,” Kokichi sighed, approaching Shuichi. He placed a hand on his shoulder, and Shuichi realized that it was trembling ever-so slightly. “It worked in my favor. Thanks, Shuichi! I’m in your debt!”

“For your plan, right?” Shuichi guessed bitterly. “You’ll give me the an–”

Kokichi’s hand flew to cover his mouth. His expression didn’t change, but there was a warning glint in his eyes that motivated Shuichi to stop talking immediately.

“Don’t you think it’s unfair to start spilling my secrets just ‘cause you’re a mind reader now?” Kokichi pouted, and although his tone was lighthearted, his solemn countenance spoke volumes in itself. “Those are secrets for a reason, Shuichi. No one’s supposed to know them!”

Shuichi understood the message– Kokichi didn’t want him talking about his plan out loud. He didn’t know why it’d matter, since it was only the two of them here, but he didn’t have the energy to argue with Kokichi about it. As long as Kokichi knew that he knew, that’s all that would matter.

Reluctantly, he nodded. Kokichi pulled his hand away, granting Shuichi the right to speak once more.

Silence fell over the hangar. Shuichi had nothing left to say– he just wanted this loop to end already. No matter who drank the antidote, it would all be meaningless in the end. Time would reset, and Shuichi would have to do it all over again.

Maybe just talking will work… if I can convince Maki not to come to the hangar, then I stay at the bathroom window and beg Kaito not to attack Kokichi…? I’d have to stay there to make sure he doesn’t, but I’m sure Kokichi would somehow find a way to make him do it anyway… he’d probably threaten me to get Kaito to do what he wants.

This plan could work again so long as I make sure Kokichi doesn’t start talking. And, if I try to act a little more rationally…

“SHUICHI!”

The sudden, thunderous voice made him jump, violently yanking him back into reality. His head automatically turned towards the open bathroom door.

Kaito…?

“Took them long enough,” Kokichi commented dryly. “Your delivery arrived, Shuichi. You’re not gonna leave them hanging, are you? Even if they totally deserve it for shooting you and then abandoning you with the mastermind?”

She only shot me because she thought Kaito would be back to give me the antidote. She only left because she couldn’t risk you actually being truthful.

Shuichi didn’t bother to tell him this, though. Kokichi would refuse to understand– unless he did understand and was just trying to get on Shuichi’s nerves, in which case, it was working fabulously.

Ripping the arrow out of his arm and gripping it tightly in his other hand, Shuichi struggled to his feet. The ground felt uneven beneath him, which certainly didn’t help the feeling of nausea that had begun to build in the back of his throat. If Shuichi drank the antidote, then Kokichi would die and the loop would begin anew. If Kokichi drank the antidote, then Shuichi would die, and the loop would restart anyway. It was a lose-lose situation.

Slowly, he looked down at the arrow. The tip was very sharp– no wonder it had hurt so bad to be shot with it.

…he could end the loop right now. It’d only take a few minutes to bleed out if he hit the right spot.

I don’t want to die. I really, really don’t want to die.

But the sooner this loop ends, the better. Shuichi didn’t want to progress any further. If he was replacing Kaito’s role in Kokichi’s plan, then his friends would have to watch Kokichi falsely drink the antidote. They would think that he was going to die, and it was Maki who had killed him. If he allowed this to continue any further… then it would be Shuichi who crushed Kokichi in the hydraulic press.

That realization was what kept Shuichi’s feet planted in place, no longer moving towards the bathroom.

Shuichi would crush Kokichi in the hydraulic press.

Shuichi would kill Kokichi.

Death was scary, sure, but Shuichi couldn’t possibly fathom the idea of killing someone. Taking another person’s life, even if they asked him to… how could he willingly inflict that on someone else? Shuichi wanted to stop more death from happening! Not participate in causing it!

It’d only last for a few moments. His senses would come back to him.

“Shuichi?”

But it’d hurt. It’d hurt so bad– it wouldn’t be an immediate lights out like it had been when Tsumugi killed him. It’d be slow, and he’d have to feel every moment of pain that came from it.

Looking back at Kokichi though– how alive he was– Shuichi genuinely could not imagine it. He had seen so many dead bodies because of this killing game, and he didn’t think he’d ever have the strength to do that to one of his friends, much less Kokichi.

As troublesome and downright cruel as he had been in this killing game, he wanted to end the killing game as much as Shuichi did.

“Shuichi…?” Kokichi tried again, cocking his head to the side. “You’re zoning out harder then you usually do. Did you hit your head or something? Are you acting weird ‘cause you have brain damage?”

“...I can’t kill you,” Shuichi whispered. He clenched his fists tighter, until he could feel his nails digging into his palms. “I can’t kill you, Kokichi. I’m sorry, I– I can’t end a loop like that.”

“Kill me?” Kokichi echoed. “My dear Shuichi… was planning to kill me? Why is the entire Kaito Fanclub after me– what are you doing?”

There were two places that, if he stabbed or cut himself just right, he’d be dead within minutes. His arms didn’t have much strength to them, so he figured stabbing himself with the arrow would be easier than cutting through his skin. His heart was pounding as he brought the arrow to his neck, reminding himself over and over that he would be back. It would only be for a few moments.

Do it. Do it before you talk yourself out of it.

If he hesitated any longer, Kokichi was going to stop him. So he took in a deep breath, closed his eyes and swung.

“SHUICHI–!”

Oh, it hurt.

It hurt so bad.

This was going to be something that stuck with him– the sharp feeling of the tip of the arrow ripping through his skin, blood filling his throat and making him choke. Utter agony made his vision momentarily go white, and yet somehow he was able to pull the arrow back out, though this was even harder than actually doing the stabbing. His hand was slick with blood. His blood.

It hurts– oh my God, that hurts– but the loop will end so it’s good. I didn’t have to kill anyone but myself– it’s not stopping, please make it stop–

Did I hit an artery? Did it work?

Someone caught him as his legs buckled, and he recognized that person as Kokichi. He was lowered to the floor gently but hurriedly, and he felt pressure on his neck.

No, no, no, no–

“Shuichi, what the HELL!?” Kokichi was shouting at him. “Why would you do that!? Don’t– hey! Don’t close your eyes on me!”

Any moment now. Shuichi did not have the strength to fight– he was sleep deprived, there was poison circulating through his body and now blood was pouring out of his throat. He was going to die.

But it’s okay. I’ll come back.

Knowing he would come back didn't make it any less scary, watching the edges of his vision fade out. For such a small arrow, it certainly did its work fast.

But Kokichi was slowing down the process. Logically, Shuichi couldn’t blame him, but couldn’t he see that he was trying to die? He needed to restart the loop. He wanted this pain to end– the hot feeling of blood on his neck, the feeling of it seeping from his body, from both his neck and his arm.

Kokichi was frantically speaking; an endless onslaught of words that were entirely lost on Shuichi. There was a strange fuzzy feeling overtaking his mind, making it difficult to even think. Breathing hurt, but that was because he kept choking on the air that tried to enter his lungs.

That pressure on his neck disappeared, replaced by something even warmer.

Inevitably though, it was all gone.

–

Waking up this time was less scary than the last. That wasn’t why he was panicking.

Instead, it was the blood all over his neck.

Shuichi ran to the bathroom as soon as he could, throwing off his overcoat and grabbing a towel. It wasn’t bleeding as badly as before, nor did it even hurt as bad, but just the sight of so much pink covering his neck, white shirt and chin was enough to elevate his heart rate.

It was an open wound, but only on the surface-level– like getting a papercut, or accidentally pricking yourself with a sharp edge. Despite covering the phantom of the killing wound, Shuichi couldn’t stop shaking.

That was one question answered, he supposed; suicide would not end the loops. Instead, it gave him an automatic reset button. One stab to a vital artery and he’d be right back where he started.

The thought made him shudder. There was no way he was doing that again.

I guess that also confirms my body doesn’t reset with each loop, Shuichi mused with a scowl, risking pulling away the towel. It was difficult to tell with all the blood that was still there, but he was pretty sure it was okay now.

Going out like this would raise a hell of a lot of alarms. He should take a shower.

Nodding to himself, Shuichi stumbled out of his bathroom, trying to occupy his thoughts only with what he was going to do next. If he started thinking too hard, he’d start thinking about that vast emptiness of death, and the horrified look on Kokichi’s face when he stabbed himself.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Moving on. Distraction.

Grabbing his clothes and a clean towel, Shuichi began running the water. He’d have to be quick about this– he only had so much time until Himiko went to the hangar. If he was going for the less-involved “talk-it-out” strategy, he’d have to get there before her or intercept her on her way there.

Quick shower, then he’d be on his way.

–

He was not on his way.

In fact, he didn’t even get to his door before he had to sit against the wall, too sick to even see straight.

As he laid on the floor in a new loop, clutching his chest and breathing shakily, he could only speculate as to what had happened. He knew he died– he had visited that eerie emptiness again, and he heard the bells to the nighttime announcement once more. That was two loops that ended in death in a row, and he hardly even got thirty minutes through that last one.

Arguably, that last death had been worse. While he felt his consciousness fade when he was bleeding out, he lost whole bouts of memory from last time. He just remembered his entire body aching for a little bit as he laid on the ground, until the next thing he remembered clearly was the loop restarting.

His throat convulsed and he felt his body lurch, though nothing came up. He parted his lips again, panting hard and trying not to cry. His skin felt like it was on fire, and his lungs felt much too small for any of the air he was desperately trying to take in.

Shuichi had a theory. It related to the time loops, and the massive mistake he made in committing suicide.

In his selfishness to not progress that attempt any further, he killed himself without facing his friends. He killed himself with the Strike-9 Poison still in his body, slowly killing him from the inside. Death from a physical wound was one thing– his body seemed to heal that over as much as it could between each loop.

But if he died from something inside him…

His stomach rolled, and his throat felt as if it ripped from how hard he heaved. He could feel bile in the back of his mouth, coating his tongue in a foul taste, but it wasn’t coming out. It wasn’t like he could move– even breathing was agonizing, so how was he supposed to manually trigger his gag reflex? He was stuck.

It was… kind of comfortable on the floor. It felt nice to rest his head on something for once. And closing his eyes did help against the nausea…

I’m going to die again anyway. What’s the point of trying?

Next time, I– I have to stop this. Maybe I’ll just… fall asleep until… I die…

–

Shuichi woke up feeling less rested than before.

Also, he immediately threw up.

I need that antidote, he thought miserably, trying not to let the stench of his own vomit let him gag again. He averted his eyes and pushed himself back onto his feet, swaying as he stumbled a few steps forward. He was so dizzy. I can’t go on like this. I can’t die again, I–

It was too much. That emptiness grew more and more unwelcoming the more he was plunged into it. He couldn’t let himself die for a third time in a row!

Please. Not again. He opened his bedroom door and forced his feet forward.

The emptiness of death was becoming less empty, because he felt it every time he visited it. You’d think dying more than once would make it less scary, but this was torture. Every waking moment was worse than the last, and death wasn’t even an escape for him anymore. If he fell asleep, he’d die and wake right back up. If he died, he’d come back to life with the next loop.

There was no escape. He couldn’t get away from this cycle. He needed to end it while he could move his body.

His lab was on the fifth floor of the school, though. How the hell was he going to make it up there in time? The poison would tear through his insides again, until his heart ceased to work. He didn’t want to test how many times he’d have to die before the poison burned itself out.

The antidote. I need the antidote.

There was one person who would be able to find it. She was just one flight of stairs away from him, and she could move fast. All Shuichi had to do was get up there as quickly as he could.

Getting up the stairs was a bit of a humiliating feat, mostly since he less walked up them and more of crawled up them. He stopped midway to catch his breath and regain as much of his sense of balance as he could, and then he was moving again.

Shuichi knocked weakly on her door before he remembered to ring her doorbell. He rang it twice before having to place his palm on the wall as a support, feeling dangerously close to throwing up.

He came this close to passing back out when she opened her door. Shuichi was quick to seize her by her shoulders, desperate not to let himself fall.

“Maki,” he pleaded, his voice breaking. “I– I need the antidote t-to Strike-9 Poison.”

A look of alarm filtered across Maki’s face. “Shuichi? You were poisoned?”

“Hurry. P-Please, I– I don’t want to die–”

“Lean against the wall and close your eyes,” Maki instructed him as she carefully guided him into her room, placing his back against the wall. She momentarily pressed her hand against his forehead, before drawing back. “Take in slow breaths. I’ll be right back.”

Shuichi nodded, following her instructions. “O-Okay.”

Quick-paced, light footsteps signaled to Shuichi that she had left. He leaned his head against the wall as well, putting as much focus as he could into breathing in a calm, steady pace. He prayed that Maki would move quickly.

While left on his own, his body felt warm. His knees were shaking, struggling to hold him up even with the support of the wall. His hands and shoulders kept twitching and his tongue felt too big for his mouth, which was making him gag. He’d feel bad if he threw up on Maki’s floor, but he didn’t know if he had any other choice. He couldn’t breathe.

Just like the last few times, his memory was hazy, and he came to again when he realized he was on the floor now, someone sitting next to him.

…Himiko?

“...Shuichi?” Himiko asked him worriedly. Her hand was on his shoulder. “Oh, you looked at me. That’s… good. Um, I asked if you’re okay…?”

Her voice was distant. Crap, that wasn’t good– he probably only had a matter of minutes. If Maki didn’t get back soon, he was going to die.

When he tried to respond to Himiko, his words only came out as a pained, incoherent moan, and he let his head droop. Words were too hard.

“You’re responding,” Himiko observed, her shoulders slacking in relief. “Thank goodness… when I got here, you were twitching on the floor, so I helped you up and wiped the drool off your chin.”

“Thmmymn…” Shuichi attempted to thank her.

“Do you know where Maki went?” Himiko continued to question him, seeming to not get the memo that he was pretty much incapable of actual speech right now.

“‘nt…d…te…” he tried once more.

As he expected, Himiko looked a little lost. But she seemed to understand that she wasn’t going to be getting any coherent answers from him, so she thankfully laid off the questions.

“It sounds like she’ll be back, so I’ll keep you company until then,” Himiko reassured him mildly. “Don’t worry– whatever’s going on, you’ll be okay. I cast a healing spell on you while you were waking up– it was kind of small, but it should help for a little while.”

Shuichi nodded, simply to show that he was listening.

“Healing spells are one of the harder spells to learn.” Himiko went on to tell him about her magic– the different types and eventually getting into which one was her favorite. Shuichi had a difficult time keeping up, but he didn’t think she intended him to. He was pretty sure she was trying to give him a constant stream of background noise to focus on.

When he started to become afraid, he shifted his hand to weakly latch onto hers. If she commented on it, Shuichi had no idea. He could barely register anything right now. His vision was blurry and everything sounded like it was underwater.

But at least it was a little less scary to die when he was with someone. He and Himiko weren’t necessarily close with one another– not like he was with Kaito and Maki– but she was still by his side as he felt life begin to seep from his body, and for that, he felt content.

That was, until someone pried open his mouth and forced his head back. Then everything felt a little less relaxed.

There was no strength in his body to try and fight it, so he simply sat there and allowed this tangy liquid to pour down his throat. He wanted to grimace, to whine or protest or do something, but the last bit of consciousness he had left told him that this was good. That blurry figure looming over him was good, because her red eyes were alight with determination and concern.

“That’s all.” The bottle left his mouth and before he could gasp for air, his mouth was held shut by a strong hand, keeping his head tilted upwards. “Swallow it. All of it. Come on, Shuichi…”

At this point, he wasn’t sure if it’d matter. If he couldn’t even connect a name to this voice, then he was already too far gone.

But it was okay if he died. Even if his body was too weak to survive this loop, it was okay because the antidote would continue to fight for him even after he died.

Yes. He was okay with this, because death was not permanent.

–

Every step was more uncertain than the last, but with the antidote to Strike-9 gripped tightly in his hand, Shuichi had thought up a plan.

He did die again, and while it wasn’t as scary as the previous two times, it still made his heart twist with grief. That was four times he had forced his classmates to deal with his demise– three of which he died in front of them.

But not again. Shuichi would not let that happen again, because he was going to end the time loops here and now.

This couldn’t go wrong. Shuichi wouldn’t allow it to.

The shutter was open when he arrived. Kaito was watching Maki hold and interrogate Kokichi at the end of her crossbow, loaded dangerously with another poisoned arrow. Shuichi’s skin crawled at the sight–

No. His throat was already sore from vomiting so much. That’s why he wasn’t wearing his overcoat; only his white collared shirt. And at the very least, his theory was right. Maki got the antidote into his system just in time, so when the next loop came around– the current loop– it was already fighting off the poison. His entire body hurt and he was so exhausted he was starting to legitimately hallucinate, but he was alive. He was cured. He wouldn’t throw up anymore.

He saw the moment Kokichi and Kaito spotted him enter the hangar, because the color drained from both of their faces. Maki glanced from Kokichi to Kaito before craning her neck to peer over her shoulder, and even she lowered her crossbow, her eyes wide.

Shuichi pointed the gun at Kaito, his throat aching as he asserted his voice.

“If anyone moves, Kaito dies.”

Chapter Text

Kokichi had never stared down the barrel of a gun before.

“Put it down!” Shuichi shouted at Maki. His eyes– oh, those were crazy eyes. He might actually be willing to shoot somebody.

Namely, Kaito. He looked torn between shock, confusion and anger, but he wasn’t as scared as he probably should be. There was a very thin line between bravery and recklessness, and Kaito was treading that line like a circus acrobat.

“Shuichi–” Maki tried, but it seemed like the detective was not having it.

“I said put it down! Throw the crossbow away!”

Maki only gripped it tighter. Kokichi wasn’t sure which threat he should be keeping an eye on– the one with the poisoned arrows, or the one with the gun (seriously, where did he get that thing!? The guns in Maki’s murder lab were all airsoft– what Shuichi held in his hands was the real deal).

This action did not go unnoticed by Shuichi. There were a ton of varying emotions on his face– wild panic, fear, anger, even caution– but none was more terrifying than the dead look of… grief? Was that what he was feeling?

That wasn’t good. A grieving person was a dangerous person. Did showing him the outside world really mess him up that bad? Or was it taking Kaito away from him?

Maki didn’t move. And that was met with a deafening, heart-stopping BANG.

It didn’t kill Kaito– Kokichi was watching. He saw the way Kaito stumbled back, his hand flying to his arm as he downright screamed. Maki cried out the astronaut's name, and with a furious look at Shuichi, she threw the crossbow aside before running to Kaito’s side, worry painted all over her previously stoic expression.

Kokichi could probably stop this. The Exisal remote was on the ground very close by. However, something– maybe the gun in Shuichi’s hands– told Kokichi that reaching for it was a terrible idea, and so he stayed carefully still. Provoking the man with a loaded firearm had proven not to be the best idea.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?” Kaito roared as soon as he found the capacity for words. Maki was using his loose jacket sleeve as a makeshift bandage, putting as much pressure as she could against the wound.

“I… I told you!” Shuichi spat, his voice hitching. Was that guilt? “I’m being serious! You– you guys shouldn’t have been killing each other in the first place!? Why couldn’t any o-of you wait… just w-wait until morning!? Why? Why? Why!?”

Kokichi was torn between figuring that oh, so he’s totally lost it and wondering what on earth happened to his favorite person in this academy. He had never taken Shuichi as the type to get violent– he always seemed pretty passive, and he often expressed his anger through his words or suffocated silence rather than throwing fists. Or, you know, bullets.

Something must have pushed Shuichi over the edge– something other than Kokichi’s grand reveal. But what? And what was going to happen in the morning?

“Sit against the– the pr… press,” Shuichi ordered, his words coming out hoarse. He glared at the hydraulic press for a long moment, but when nobody moved, he jerked his gun at Maki and Kaito. “Now. And– and m-my finger is closer to the trigger than either of you are to the shutter. As long as… everyone listens… we’ll get out of this fine. No one will die. Okay? So– so just listen to me. Sit against the press. AGAINST it! Not on it!”

Kokichi didn’t dare to move while Maki supported Kaito forwards. She was no longer eyeing him like the most dangerous person in the room anymore, thank goodness. Instead, her eyes were locked onto Shuichi, and they stayed on him as she helped the groaning Kaito to the press. He collapsed down against its base, clutching his wounded arm, and Maki sat down with him.

Unfortunately enough, Shuichi’s attention turned to him.

“Close the shutter,” Shuichi instructed him. “...no running for you, either. I know what you’ll try to do. I– I know you don’t want anyone dead.”

That wasn’t a point Kokichi could necessarily argue with, but he didn’t like being challenged about it out loud. Shuichi was ruining his carefully constructed undefeatable mastermind image, and he was not very happy about it.

Slowly, Kokichi stood up, careful not to jostle the arrow in his arm too much. To close the shutter, he had to get to the control panel, and that was very close to the exit. He had no doubt Shuichi would not hesitate to shoot him if he even glanced in that direction, so he was understandably a little wary as he slowly began moving towards the control panel.

He was not unaware of Maki’s death glare being sent in his direction as he closed the shutter. With the exit sealed, he lifted his hands in surrender and waited for Shuichi’s next order, as humiliating as it was to be put into such a helpless position. Had Shuichi not been keeping an eye on him, he would have grabbed the Exisal remote to use later. He would have had this situation wrapped up very fast.

“Press.” Shuichi pointed to where Maki and Kaito were sitting with the hand gripping a bottle. “Maki, don’t– don’t touch him, okay?”

Maki’s glare could have blown up a school bus. “You’re using Kaito against me. You won’t actually kill him.”

In response, Shuichi suddenly brought the gun to the side of his own head. “Then how about I shoot myself?”

“I’ll sit on Kaito’s other side,” Kokichi suggested when Maki didn’t seem to have a rebuttal, trying to ignore the way his heart jumped in fear. “It’s not like he’s gonna do anything to me. He’s too busy whining about the bullet in his arm. Over-reactive much, am I right?”

“I’d like to see you get shot in the fucking arm!” Kaito barked at him, providing the exact opposite argument Kokichi was trying to make.

“That’s… okay with me,” Shuichi decided hesitantly, lowering the gun from his head.

It was difficult to hide the tension in his shoulders, so he settled for a simple nod and sauntered to the hydraulic press, where he sat as far from Kaito and his guard dog as he could manage. Admittedly, that wasn’t farther than a few meters, but he’d take what he could get.

When he sat down, Shuichi hurriedly walked up to him and dropped the bottle he had been holding in his lap. Picking it up, Kokichi was startled to find that it was the antidote to Strike-9 Poison.

“Please drink it all,” Shuichi begged him. After a moment though, he seemed to remember what role he was playing and he pointed the gun directly at Kokichi’s head. “And don’t pretend to, either! I’m not letting you go through with your… your stupid… that plan.”

“My what?” Kokichi feigned innocence to hide his alarm.

“Drink. It.”

“Okay, okay… yeesh.” He might be pushing it a little, but he obeyed nonetheless. He wasn’t looking to get shot by Shuichi today, though he was a little worried by the notion that Shuichi supposedly knew about his plan.

Once he finished drinking all the contents of the bottle (and hating every second of it because his sweet tooth had not been satisfied in days and he was going to go absolutely insane), he handed it back to Shuichi to check. After ensuring that it was actually empty, he chucked it to the side, effectively discarding it.

“Good. That’s good.” Shuichi let out a sigh of relief, clutching his chest and squeezing the fabric of his shirt. It was only then that Kokichi noticed he wasn’t wearing his usual striped overcoat; instead, it was his white collared shirt. “I’m–I’m sorry for shooting you Kaito. I really am… really sorry…”

“We’re gonna be having a really long talk later, Shuichi,” Kaito gritted out.

“Hey! You got shot and I got shot by your dogs. We’re matching now!” Kokichi exclaimed simply to be obnoxious. He had to cope in some way.

As he expected, Kaito glared at him as if he were trying to explode Kokichi’s head with his eyes. Additionally, Maki shared that same look, although it was about ten thousand times more intimidating.

Shuichi was taking in slow, deep breaths, his free hand covering his mouth and nose. It wasn’t a good look with the heavy bags under his eyes.

“By the way, Shuichi,” Kokichi said to the detective, adopting a more cautious tone with him. It was a lot harder to outrun a bullet than it was to outrun someone’s fist, after all. “I did a bit of stocking up while Maki wasn’t stalking me. There should be a first aid kit over by the red Exisal… somewhere.”

For some reason, his words were met with a gun being pointed at his face again, which he was not very fond of. He was trying to help and lessen the stress on Shuichi’s mind– if he started freaking out about anything else, Kokichi worried he might just shoot all of them anyway. He wasn’t exactly sure what Shuichi’s problem was, so he’d have to tread carefully.

“You can give it to Kaito,” Kokichi pointed out ceremoniously. “It’d suck if he bled out, right?”

That made Shuichi jump as if someone had just struck him with lightning, and he stared at Kokichi with utmost suspicion. The armed detective was quiet for a very long few moments, glancing uncertainly between Kaito and Kokichi.

“...Maki,” he finally decided, “go get it.”

That seemed like a bad choice. Maki was the most liable to detain Shuichi the minute she got close enough, and Kokichi would bet a good amount of money that Maki would win in a gun-to-fist fight. She was fast, and Shuichi was a little all over the place at the moment.

Even Maki seemed to share his sentiment, because she stood up slowly, her movements weighed down by caution.

“Do it!” Shuichi snapped a little more urgently. “Hurry. Please…?”

Maki must hate getting ordered around too, because she tsked and obeyed Shuichi with the same amount of enthusiasm somebody would have walking to the electric chair. An overall funny sight if not for the situation at hand.

It was as she left that Kokichi very quickly realized why it was Maki Shuichi chose to play fetch. Both he and Kaito, while capable in their own rights, were both injured. He still has a crossbow bolt in his arm and back– which was making it really hard to lean back comfortably– and Kaito was both sick and had been shot. Neither of them were as dangerous to turn his back on as Maki was.

“Hey, if we’re all getting medical treatment, can I get these arrows removed?” Kokichi requested as eagerly as he could manage. “Unless the mastermind isn’t allowed to be treated. Then you already broke your own rules.”

“You’re not the mastermind,” Shuichi insisted with a surprising amount of ferocity. “You– you can pull those arrows out. Just give them to me after.”

“But I can’t reach the one on my back,” Kokichi whined. “Unless you want me to break my arms trying to reach it?”

“I’ll remove it if it’ll shut you up,” Maki offered upon her return.

“You’d probably stab me in the throat or something,” Kokichi scoffed haughtily, briefly allowing his resentment towards her to shine through. He did not want her murder-hands anywhere near his body, thank you very much.

“God– STOP!” Shuichi suddenly cried out, making all three hostages jump. “Stop referencing past loops! Stop it! I’m sorry I killed myself but shut up about it! I know it’s selfish but I didn’t want to kill you!”

That outburst devolved into unintelligible whispering and pacing, leaving all three hostages relatively surprised. Mostly Kokichi. 

He was pretty difficult to catch off guard, but Shuichi was hitting all of those marks.

Past loops? What did he mean by that? And Kokichi certainly didn’t remember Shuichi ever killing himself. That seemed like something pretty important to forget, and also impossible to forget because if Shuichi killed himself, then he would not be waving a gun around and shooting his friends like a total lunatic.

Is he having some sort of psychotic breakdown? Kokichi found himself wondering. Whoops. I hope I didn’t accidentally trigger some kind of mental health spiral. That’d be really awkward.

It was silent as Maki took to treating Kaito as much as she could with what she had. Kokichi did what he could for himself– he ripped the arrow out of his arm and placed it on the ground, though he doubted he’d be able to reach the one in his back. Of all places, did Maki really have to shoot him there? That was such a whole new level of mean.

After giving up on even trying to reach the second arrow, he turned his attention back towards Shuichi. The boy had stopped pacing and was instead staring down at the gun in his hands, a complicated expression on his face. Kokichi really wanted to know what tipped him over the edge– Shuichi would never do something like this unless he had been seriously ticked off. There was also a matter of escaping this situation without a class trial.

Maybe, if force wouldn’t work to get out of here, then he could try to coax Shuichi into releasing them. It was an insanely risky move, but Kokichi doubted he’d get shot for trying to talk to him. Most of what Shuichi saw as a “threat” seemed to be physical actions, so what’s the harm in words?

“So what’s the terms and conditions for being held hostage?” Kokichi asked the detective, hilariously earning simultaneous looks of alarm from his fellow prisoners.

“...are you asking what my demands are?” Shuichi translated after a moment of thought. “Because I’ve told you. No one will die.”

“That’s not very clear though,” Kokichi pointed out. “When can we start dying? Morning? Tomorrow afternoon?”

“Never,” Shuichi snapped. “...I’ll let you go once I’m sure the time loop’s ended. M-Maybe I just have to make it to tomorrow’s evening announcement…? They seem tied to the announcements…”

TIME loop? The “loop” he was previously referring to was a time loop? Maybe he really was delusional, but Kokichi decided not to voice this thought. Arguing with Shuichi was not going to end well, and would only agitate him more.

“And,” Shuichi added, his gaze flicking towards Kaito and Maki, “I want you to listen to me. And– and I want you to believe me. Please, I know my deduction isn’t wrong. It’s– it’d be impossible to prove, but I swear I’m telling the truth.”

Kaito and Maki exchanged wary looks with one another. Kokichi could only pray they had enough sense to not argue with Shuichi right now.

“...what is it?” Maki finally questioned.

Shuichi took in a deep breath. “Kokichi isn’t the mastermind. It’s… it’s someone else– I can’t tell you until morning. But Kokichi isn’t the mastermind. He was pretending to be. All those clues– th-those hints he set up were to make us believe him when he said he was the mastermind. The remote to control the Exisals was made by Miu. I-I’m not sure about the whole Remnant of Despair thing, but I know for sure he isn’t the mastermind.”

Kokichi was starting to get a little annoyed at this point– it wasn’t fair that Shuichi got to waltz in here and start blabbing every single one of his secrets. He was also getting annoyed with wondering what the hell a “Remnant of Despair” could possibly be– Maki had wanted to know about that, too.

It was no coincidence both Maki and Shuichi came in here shouting nonsense and threatening everyone– namely, Kokichi– with weapons. It was a possibility he had anticipated, and his worries had been correct.

The true mastermind made a move while his back was turned. And whatever they did, it was enough to piss off both Maki and Shuichi enough to start taking prisoners.

Not sure what that “time loop” business is about, though. Is Shuichi mentally ill? I should have noticed sooner– maybe I could have avoided triggering this. Crap.

Much to his internal relief, both Maki and (surprisingly) Kaito had the sense not to challenge Shuichi’s view. That led to a few side-eyes in his direction, but he was used to people looking at him funny, so he wasn’t bothered. He simply kept his eyes on Shuichi.

“Where did you find that out?” Maki was careful to ask.

The gun was pointed warningly towards him for some god damn reason.

“I’m not being forced to do this,” Shuichi ground out through gritted teeth. “Kokichi didn’t make me do anything. I found out by investigating on my own.”

Maki stared at the detective. “I never said he threatened you. I was asking where you found out he wasn’t the mastermind.”

“It’s impossible to prove,” Shuichi replied, thankfully lowering the gun a little. “...and really, really difficult to explain. I’ll tell you guys everything tomorrow evening.”

“Fine,” Maki muttered reluctantly. “But what are you going to do in the morning when everyone comes to the hangar?”

“...I’ve never made it that far,” Shuichi murmured, and not for the first time, Kokichi saw his expression twinged with uncertainty. “Ah, I… as long as they don’t have an Electrobomb.”

“What if they do?” Kokichi blurted out.

Shuichi was quiet for a long few minutes. It got to a point where Kokichi began to become concerned that he had just fallen asleep with his eyes open.

But then he looked off to the side, his eyebrows furrowed deeply in thought.

“It should be fine by then,” Shuichi concluded. “A-As long as no one dies, right?”

“What if we promise not to kill each other?” Kokichi tried.

Shuichi shot him a scathing glare. “I don’t trust you not to go through with your plan anyway.”

“What if I promise not to go through with my plan?”

“I don’t believe you.”

“What if I promise not to go through with my plan with a cherry on to–”

“God, shut up!” Kaito barked at him, finally seeming to get fed up. Lowering his voice, he added, “if you piss him off, he might not let us all off that easily.”

“I’m building bonds by being loveable, Kaito,” Kokichi whispered back. “I’m reverse Stockholming him, so give me a bit, will ya?”

Kaito looked genuinely baffled. “He didn’t kidnap you! And I don’t think Stockholm Syndrome works like that.”

“Well what do you want me to call it? Seduction?” he challenged simply to see the look on Kaito’s face. As a fun bonus, Maki’s, too. And the way Shuichi was staring at him was pretty funny, too.

Shaking his head, Shuichi went back to pacing. Seems like he tapped out of this conversation.

“Are you trying to seduce my sidekick?” Kaito hissed.

“Your sidekick has lost it,” Kokichi retorted when he was at least fairly sure Shuichi wasn’t eavesdropping. “I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong so I can go back to masterminding and you guys can go back to making out in the corner or whatever.”

“Shuichi says you’re not the mastermind,” Kaito pointed out, seeming oblivious to the very obvious redness that overtook Maki’s cheeks. “And Shuichi’s barely ever wrong. I’d trust him over you any day. My only question is why the hell would you do that?”

Kokichi rolled his eyes. Stupid Shuichi and his stupid detective brain, screwing up all of his plans. It was only a matter of time until they figured it out, he supposed, but that was a pretty anticlimactic way for it to be uncovered. Lame.

But if Shuichi knows the true mastermind… then I don’t need to pretend. We could end the killing game if we knew who that person was… just sic Maki on ‘em and we’re free.

“Sorryyyy, that secret’s reserved for the Kokichi Fanclub,” was the excuse he gave.

“Would you two stop it?” Maki snapped at them both. “Fighting isn’t going to help the situation. Everything will be fine if we just wait until morning– Keebo, Himiko and Tsumugi will realize something is up and come running.”

“Himiko especially,” agreed Kaito. “She gave me my crossbow earlier– she’ll probably think to check the bathroom window if they can’t get in here normally. Kokichi, don’t you have that alarm remote?”

Kokichi did have the alarm remote. It was in his pocket, tucked away for safekeeping. However, he was not very keen on the idea of sharing it with anyone else– he worried he might not get it back in case of any emergencies.

“If we can give that to the others through the window, they won’t need the Electrobomb,” Kaito continued quietly. “I’m sure Shuichi will let us go to the bathroom if we ask.”

“Kaito, I don’t know if you know this, but you usually want to talk about your escape plans more than a few feet away from the person holding you hostage,” Kokichi pointed out. He didn’t want to risk a potential plan going to waste if Shuichi was actually listening.

“And what are you expecting the other three to do?” Maki (shockingly) agreed with him. “There isn’t much anyone but me could do against a loaded gun.”

Kaito opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but closed it with a sigh of defeat. “Alright, fine… I’ll think on it. But I’m not gonna sit by and do nothing.”

Isn’t that what got us into this whole mess anyway? Kokichi decided not to remind him. Arguing with Kaito was like talking to a brick wall– he was not swayed by anything at all.

What Kokichi was more interested in was Shuichi. He was still walking in circles– Kokichi was surprised he hadn’t worn himself out, considering Shuichi seemed to be awake only out of necessity right now. If he said anything now, Kaito and Maki were going to complain, and he’d never get anything done. They seemed to think he was physically incapable of making matters better.

Might as well sit and watch, he begrudgingly decided. That’d give them time to cool off, and maybe, if he was extra lucky, one of them would go to sleep and Kokichi wouldn’t have to deal with them. He doubted it, though– so long as Maki stayed awake, he knew Kaito would as well, and Kokichi personally had zero plans to fall asleep.

This was going to be a long night.

Two things became evident as Kokichi watched Shuichi fidget and pace.

One, Shuichi had not slept for days.

And two, he had been hurt.

It was very clear that Shuichi did not want to let himself fall asleep despite being so tired. The faltering way he had been walking and speaking were clear signs of his exhaustion, but the bags under his eyes, the emotional instability (he had come this close to shooting Kaito and/or Kokichi because Kaito scooted in Kokichi’s direction to take out the arrow in his back. It was out now, thank God, but Kokichi would be the last to admit that he had genuinely been a little afraid), and pretty much everything else about him was also a good selling point on this theory.

The reason why Kokichi was pretty sure Shuichi had been wounded was because he kept whacking himself with the gun. Kokichi noticed that whenever Shuichi paused for a moment too long, he’d slam the bottom of his gun down on a certain, most definitely very bruised, spot on his arm, which seemed to snap him right back awake. He also had acquired this new, bad habit of pulling his hair, which Kokichi found that he did not enjoy watching.

It had been a few hours now, and there had been some developments. As he mentioned before, Kaito took the arrow out of his back for whatever reason, and that seemed to push Shuichi’s paranoia into full gear. Kaito’s bullet wound was a little better– he took it like a champ, even Kokichi could see that. Maki declared that it should be fine so long as Kaito didn’t do anything stupid. One could only dream.

Kokichi was also pretty sure that Shuichi’s condition, whatever it was, was worsening. Kokichi partly assumed that it was because the night was progressing, and he knew that people tended to get more anxious the lower the sun set. That might not be the best combination with Shuichi, who was already extremely anxious.

A whole minute had passed and Kokichi was pretty sure that Shuichi had not blinked once. He figured that now was probably the best time to speak up.

If this worked, he might be able to pacify Shuichi in one go.

“Shuichi–” The sound of his voice made Shuichi jump, his shaking hands nearly causing the gun to slip from his fingers. “Oh, my bad. Were you off in La La Land?”

“What land?” Shuichi demanded as he aggressively rubbed his eyes. Maybe he did fall asleep on his feet for a second there.

“Ja Ja Land! It’s really nice there– their mascot is a rabbit,” Kokichi told him cheerfully.

Shuichi didn’t even catch the name change. “Oh. What, um… what do you want?”

“Well I was thinking… how did you find out about my plan?” Kokichi asked him. Ignoring the warning side eye Kaito sent him, he continued. “I mean, you seem to know it well enough to not talk about it.”

“...are you saying I’m making it up?” Shuichi accused him, which Kokichi could have seen coming from a mile away. “I’m not. It involves the press, and the victim trick. I fell for it every time before I realized what was happening.”

Oh crap, he does actually know. Kokichi wasn’t expecting him to have figured out that much.

“Where did this habit of misinterpreting everything come from?” Kokichi whined, letting his head droop as he pouted almost cartoonishly. “Sometimes people just mean what they say, y’know…”

Shuichi was silent in response to that. He chewed on his bottom lip, his pointer finger flexing dangerously on the trigger of the gun. Nervousness– Kokichi could understand that.

Figuring he wasn’t going to say anything, Kokichi continued talking as if nothing had happened. “Anyway, I was wondering if you snooped around my room a bit, or if you’re, like, a mind reader or something.”

“I’m– what? No, I’m not a mind reader,” Shuichi refuted him. “And I didn’t go through your room. I don’t think anyone can even get in there.”

“So then how did you find out?” asked Kokichi. “‘cause I can't think of any way other than you being a mind reader.”

“I’m not a mind reader,” Shuichi insisted in growing frustration. Note to self, accusing Shuichi of literally anything was off the table. “And I’ll tell you once the evening announcement plays tomorrow. I-It’s almost morning, I’m sure of it… it can’t be too long now.”

Kokichi’s internal clock corroborated that assumption, but he didn’t comment on it. He did, however, see the way Kaito perked up, to which he could only pray that he wasn’t going to try to do anything stupid come the morning.

“Because we won’t believe you,” Kokichi guessed blandly.

Shuichi nodded, his hand seeming to subconsciously wander to the side of his head. “You won’t.”

If Shuichi didn’t want to tell him what was up, that was fine. Whether he knew it or not, he already slipped about what it was that was bothering him. Even if Kokichi was about ninety nine percent sure that Shuichi was delusional, it was the reason he had supplied. He didn’t think simply asking about it would feed into it and make it worse, would it? 

“Does it have something to do with those time loops?” Kokichi asked.

He might as well have just signed a death contract.

Shuichi’s head whipped towards him so fast he was shocked he didn’t give himself whiplash. Immediately, the gun was raised, Shuichi having to use both hands to steady it as much as possible. His previously half-lidded eyes had been blown wide, beads of sweat rolling down the sides of his face as he stared at Kokichi like he just confessed to mass murder or something.

“How did you know that!?” Shuichi cried, his voice layered with a new type of horror and raw, unadulterated panic that made Kokichi’s heart twist unpleasantly. “Did you know this whole time? Every time!?”

Kokichi lifted his hands innocently, silently cursing himself for causing everyone’s guards to skyrocket again. Maki was tense, as if she were seconds away from lunging at Shuichi herself, and Kaito had this stupidly determined look on his face– did he flinch towards Kokichi when the gun raised? He must really have faith in Shuichi’s baseless deductions if he was willing to protect Kokichi now.

“You mentioned it earlier,” Kokichi reminded him stiffly. “When we asked you what your demands were. You said something about the time loop being connected to the announcements.”

This did not help Shuichi relax. “No– No I didn’t!? What are you talking about? You–” A scarily cold expression stonewalled itself on Shuichi’s pale features. “Are you lying?”

Kokichi was pretty sure that Shuichi would not believe him no matter what he said. So, he stayed quiet, averting his gaze to Kaito and maybe Maki for help.

“Shuichi–” Kaito tried, and to his credit, he didn’t even flinch when the gun swiveled towards him. “We heard you say it, man.”

“I thought it was weird when you said that,” Maki agreed simply. “But I didn’t bring it up because I thought you were delusional.”

Okay, a little blunt there, but Maki wasn’t one to beat around the bush. Shuichi seemed to think this too, because although he looked wounded by her remark, he didn’t totally break down over it.

“I didn’t say anything though,” Shuichi murmured, bringing one hand to his forehead and pushing his bangs up, further ruffling his already unkempt hair. “I– I thought I was– I thought… wh-why’s my memory getting worse?” He cast a helpless look at the ceiling. “What loop even is this…?”

Delusion or not, it was clearly distressing Shuichi. He was obviously being affected by it, and it was putting a huge weight on his shoulders. If this “time loop” is what was stressing Shuichi out so much to the point of taking hostages, then perhaps giving him a space to talk about it would take off some of that stress.

“So you found out all my secrets because of a time loop?” Kokichi guessed, drawing Shuichi’s teary, olive eyes back towards him. “And that’s how you knew to get here on time, too. Right?”

“...you believe me?” Shuichi whispered. He quickly crushed his own sparkle of hope though, shaking his head furiously. “No, no no no– that’s what she said b-before she… she hit me in the head. Is this all just some ploy to escape? ‘cause it’s not gonna work. I’m not letting anyone die today, okay?”

Kokichi didn’t understand how threatening to kill them equated to not letting anyone die, but if Shuichi thought he was in a time loop, he’d assume he’d have infinite chances. That was a dangerous idea to have.

More importantly, though… “You were hit in the head?”

A “she” hit Shuichi in the head. If that were the case, then that could most certainly be what caused all of this. The only three girls alive right now were Maki, Himiko and Tsumugi, and considering Maki was in his same predicament, he could easily rule her out as the culprit. Unless this happened earlier in the killing game, that left him with only two suspects.

Why though? Why would someone attack Shuichi, and why wouldn’t Shuichi tell anyone?

“Ah…” Shuichi’s face flushed as he realized his mistake, and his hand found its way to his head again. Where he got hit, Kokichi presumed. “...I did. She pretended to believe me, and then she hit me with her Electrohammer and I–”

That’s where Shuichi choked up. There was this painful look of anguish on his face, as if he were reliving the experience all over again in his head.

More clues, though. Someone hit him with her Electrohammer, which meant the attack was very recent. The question now was which girl was it? Himiko or Tsumugi?

“It’s– it’s not important,” Shuichi eventually decided. “You don’t believe me. I can tell. I don’t blame you… I– I probably wouldn’t either. I didn’t for a while. But Kokichi, c-can’t you tell when someone’s lying?”

“If you think it’s the truth, not exactly,” Kokichi replied, aware that he was simultaneously confirming that he did not believe Shuichi in the slightest. “I can only recognize purposeful lies. If someone lied to you, and then you lied to me thinking it was the truth, then you’d have no idea you were lying, were you?”

Shuichi grimaced. “I thought so. I–” his breath hitched, and he covered his mouth with his hand, his eyes dangerously glossy. “I’m s…s-sorry… I just thought, m-may…be…”

This was very quickly leaning into emotional territory, which was a difficult place to be. However, even with potential brain damage, Kokichi couldn’t imagine Shuichi getting this genuinely upset over nothing. His reaction was not a lie– those were actual tears in his eyes, ones he was desperately trying to hold back in fear of breaking. He clearly didn’t want his friends and Kokichi to see him cry over something they thought he was delusional over. His breaths came in quick, stuttering gasps, and he was now hiding his eyes with his hand instead of his mouth.

“I could disarm him,” Maki announced in a low voice for only Kaito and Kokichi to hear. “I could end this.”

“No.” Surprisingly, it was Kaito who stopped her, shaking his head solemnly. “He’s not doing this outta malice, so we don’t need to fight him.”

“He shot you,” Maki argued. “Who’s to say something doesn’t set him off and he kills you next?”

“But think about it,” Kaito murmured, his eyes grossly soft as he gazed at Shuichi. “What he needs right now is trust. He’s upset that we don’t believe him– and I’m not saying we should pretend to– but we can give him our support. Let him work through his feelings, and eventually he’ll snap out of the delusion and realize what’s really going on. Besides, he’s doing this to stop anyone from dying, right? That means he might see you disarming him as an attack, and he’ll only get more scared.”

Maki deadpanned at him. “You’re telling me to not take the gun away from somebody who shot you because I hesitated for less than fifteen seconds?”

“He won’t shoot us again,” Kaito reassured her with a stunning amount of confidence. “This isn’t a bad guy, Maki. He’s our friend, and my sidekick. His burdens are my burdens, so I have to be there for him in the way he wants.”

Well that was painful to listen to, but Kokichi did reluctantly find himself agreeing at some points. It wasn’t like Shuichi was happy to be doing this– he had hesitated at some points himself, and he was quick to get Kaito first aid. Shuichi was their friend, and Kokichi was willing to extend a certain amount of patience to him that he wouldn’t with anyone else. It was easy to tell that Shuichi was hurting.

And despite everything, Shuichi did save his life. So how could Kokichi save Shuichi?

“Maybe,” Kokichi said to Shuichi, “you can convince me.”

It seemed to take a moment for the words to register, but when they did, Shuichi gave him a surprised look.

“...what?”

“Well, you can’t tell me you’re in a time loop and not give me any details,” Kokichi scoffed. “Do that final blow thing you do in the class trials! Tell me all the facts! Make me believe you.”

Letting him just talk about it was the best solution Kokichi could think of. Keeping everything bottled up inside wasn’t healthy (and he did not want to hear a WORD about his own habits, thank you), especially not for someone as, in the nicest way possible, sensitive as Shuichi. At the very least, Shuichi was not someone who could cap a lid on his feelings and push it all down. His feelings would tremble and boil until they exploded.

That’s how Kokichi had always perceived him, anyway. People were much more complicated on the inside, and Shuichi was one of those people that could throw him a curveball at any given point. Tonight had been a very good example of that.

“Make you…” Shuichi trailed off, considering those words. “...ah… I– I understand. Well, um, I first realized it was a time loop on the third loop. Every loop resets when a body discovery announcement plays, so whenever I found your body in the press, Kokichi, time reset itself back to the evening before. Tsumugi suggested I used the loops to my advantage… so that I could investigate. Me and Keebo once watched everything happen with Maki… and then she shot Kaito, and Keebo rushed to help, and I think I ran away? There was a lot happening.”

“I did what to Kaito?” Maki demanded darkly.

Shuichi nodded. “Part of what happens when everything goes as it normally would is that you go to kill Kokichi, but Kaito takes the arrow for him. You run to get the antidote from my lab, but when you get back, Kokichi locks you out. You… pass the antidote through the window, and that’s where Kokichi pretends to drink it before convincing Kaito to go along with his plan.”

That sounded plausible, Kokichi would certainly admit. He had no idea why Kaito would ever protect him in any universe, especially not when he thought that Kokichi was the mastermind, but he wasn’t about to argue with it. Not when Shuichi was finally talking.

“I found out Kokichi wasn’t the mastermind or the culprit because I listened to him and Kaito talk through the bathroom window,” Shuichi continued to explain. “He told Kaito about everything he did to make himself seem like the mastermind, and that he only pretended to be them to try and end the killing game. He also said that, ah, the mastermind made a move without him noticing, and instigated Maki’s actions.”

Okay. Eerily similar to Kokichi’s actual thought process, minus all the stuff that didn’t happen. That was a little freaky, considering Kokichi could not think of any other way that he’d be able to figure all that out.

“I tried to stop everything from happening,” Shuichi admitted, his voice growing duller. “I followed Maki when she opened the shutter with the Exisal and I tried to tell you guys that Kokichi wasn’t the mastermind. I thought you’d believe me if I explained how I did it. B-But both of you thought I was threatened into protecting him, and Kokichi–” he did not enjoy the way Shuichi spat his name as if it was some foreign curse word “–played into it. Then Maki shot me with one of her poisoned arrows, Kokichi tricked her to leave the hangar by threatening Kaito, and… I ended that loop.”

(“I’m sorry I killed myself but shut up about it! I know it’s selfish but I didn’t want to kill you!”)

Finally, pieces were clicking together. Confusing pieces, but pieces nevertheless. He was finally starting to figure out what was going on in that head of his.

“...do you know what it’s like to die?” Shuichi whispered, his tone suddenly dropping. “Over and over again. I died in my room twice– alone. Maki gave me the antidote and I still died. I don’t reset with every loop, and dying once is painful enough. But over and over again… because Maki poisoned her… her stupid arrows… Strike-9 fucking hurts, okay? It feels like your entire body hates you. The first thing to go with that is your ability to breathe, and then you start bl-blacking out and– and when the loop resets, you have to do it all over again. Just wait until you die.”

There wasn’t much anyone could say to that. Kaito looked uncomfortable. Maki’s expression remained blank, devoid of any emotion.

On the other hand, Kokichi was very alarmed to find that his description had been pretty accurate to his own experience. He had no idea how much poison Maki put on that arrow– he had seen Strike-9 in Shuichi’s lab before, and it was apparently slow acting. However, even the smallest dose could be lethal. The antidote had done its work well, but when that poison had been running rampant in Kokichi’s veins, it felt like his lungs were under a physical attack. His throat had closed up, and not because of the pain from getting shot with two crossbow arrows.

If Shuichi hadn’t come, he wondered how far the poison would have progressed. How long would it take for him to die?

“So you’ve been working your ass off,” Kokichi observed. His voice was quiet, careful not to agitate Shuichi any further. “That does sound like it’d suck. I’m surprised my sweet Shuichi didn’t totally break from those events.”

“I don’t want these time loops to change me. But…” Shuichi looked down at his shaking hands. “B-But, I– I think I’m too late. If I had just… done it right the first time… M-Maki wouldn’t have shot me, and if I… maybe if I…”

In the back of his mind, a thought suddenly rose to the surface. One he didn’t think he’d consider if it were anyone else.

What if he’s telling the truth?

Shuichi did not enjoy lies as much as Kokichi did, and he especially didn’t like lies that bore secrets. Lies that were malicious in intent, benefitting only one person. It would be a lie in itself to say that Shuichi had never lied– he lied in the class trials as a tactic. Both he and Kaede had lied in the class trials to steer everyone on track; to move the discussion forward.

That wasn’t always why he lied, though. Sometimes Shuichi lied to his friends, like that he ate lunch today or that the nightmare he had last night didn’t bother him. He’d lie about himself and how he was doing, so he didn’t make others worry about him. He’d lie because in a killing game, weakness could be deadly, and weakness was not allowed when a murder occurred.

There was the chance that Shuichi was delusional, but Kokichi had yet to think of any way he could have figured out his plan if he hadn’t seen it in action for himself. Shuichi knew with confidence that it was him who would have been flattened in the hydraulic press, not Kaito. There surely was some logical way he had figured that out, but hearing it from Kokichi himself in another “loop” was certainly one way, albeit extremely unrealistic. 

Time loops did not, and can not, exist. Anyone with a functioning frontal lobe was capable of knowing that much.

However.

“You’ve been really determined to end these loops, huh?” Kokichi observed softly. He wasn’t the type to typically be quiet or gentle, but he’d bite if it meant helping Shuichi.

“I just want it to stop,” Shuichi whimpered, his voice breaking. His entire body was shaking, and he lifted both of his hands to try to hide his bleary eyes. “I want– I don’t… I don’t want anyone to die, and I- I just want everything to go n-normally. I don’t even know if this is gonna work! Wh-Who’s to say Tsumugi doesn’t kill someone else? What if someone dies once the time loops are over and I can’t st-stop it? I don’t–” his hands fell to his sides, and he stared down at Kaito, Maki and Kokichi, regret and anguish overwhelming his expression. “...I don’t know… what I’m doing… I don’t know how to end this. I don’t know anything, I– I haven’t slept in so long… I-I haven’t eaten since this started… everything hurts b-but I can’t even k-kill myself to es…e-escape i-it…”

Shuichi let out a sob, and that was it. He shattered.

Kokichi watched as the gun clattered to the ground, no longer posing a threat. Gut-wrenching sobs filled the air as Shuichi buried his face in his hands and cried, looking dangerously at risk of collapsing with the way each sob violently wracked his body, pressuring his quaking knees more and more.

When Maki went to make a move towards the gun, Kaito stopped her. In turn, Kokichi stopped him from saying anything; he was confident he knew how to deal with this from here on out. Maki could do whatever she wanted with that gun as soon as Kokichi had Shuichi away from it.

Looking at him now, he didn’t think that’d be very difficult.

Kokichi used the slab of the hydraulic press to support himself onto his feet, moving carefully so as to not draw attention to himself. When Shuichi didn’t react, he started forward, walking until he was in front of the detective.

Gently, he placed a hand on Shuichi’s shoulder, drawing him closer so he could wound his uninjured arm around him. The effect was immediate; Shuichi melted into his arms, only seeming to cry even harder. Little awkward, but Kokichi was willing to set that aside for Shuichi’s sake. He already had to wash this entire outfit anyway, so a few tears and mucus didn’t bother him.

(Also, he had had worse on his clothes before. Dingy orphanages. Shudder.)

“I always thought you’d be bothering me about my bad habits,” Kokichi murmured teasingly. “I stocked up on snacks, so let’s get you something. You’re hungry, aren’t you?”

Although subtle, Shuichi nodded.

“Okay. But I’m not carrying you. You’ll have to use your own two feet.”

Finally, he had some semblance of control over the situation. He guided Shuichi towards the red Exisal, vaguely aware of Maki swiping the gun off of the ground as soon as he had Shuichi far enough. His focus was no longer on her or Kaito though– he had all eyes for Shuichi.

Detaching himself from Shuichi, he stepped around the Exisal to find his not-so-secret stash. He had forgotten that Maki had trifled through his stuff, because it was even more of a chaotic mess than before. At least Kokichi’s chaos had some level of order to it.

Figuring that Shuichi wouldn't care what he ate so long as it was something, he swiped a bag of plain crackers and a water bottle. Shuichi was still crying too hard to actually eat anything, so Kokichi had to help him into a sitting position to try to work through his tears– at least so he wouldn’t inhale on a cracker and choke to death.

ding dong bing bong

The sound made Shuichi yelp, and much to Kokichi’s personal alarm, he latched onto Kokichi with such urgent ferocity it almost knocked him over.

The morning announcement was empty once again. The three remaining Exisals were still doing their jobs perfectly, it seemed. Good– Kokichi didn’t want to deal with Monokuma on top of everything else. That’d be a nightmare to deal with.

“You made it to morning,” Kokichi pointed out to Shuichi, hoping that his light attitude would calm him down a little. “Just fourteen more hours to go! You’re doing great, you know that? Now if you could get your breathing in order, that’d be even better.”

Shuichi nodded, mumbling something that sounded close to a “sorry”. Kokichi decided not to say anything as he worked through his very complicated feelings; instead, he opted to look up at the red Exisal, supporting his elbow with his knee as he propped his head up. 

If Shuichi hadn’t come in blazing with his gun, Kaito would have been sitting in that thing by now, waiting for his idiot classmates to storm the hangar. In fact, Kokichi was sure that they’d all be on their way any minute now, which was going to be very awkward to deal with. Kokichi was about fifty percent sure that neither Kaito nor Maki believed he was the mastermind anymore– considering that they allowed him to waltz off with Shuichi in tow– so not only was that bombshell going to be dropped on Keeboy, Tsumugi and Himiko’s heads, but they’d also learn that their adored, no-harm-done detective had spent all night shouting near nonsense and holding them at gunpoint. That was going to be so embarrassing to share– Kokichi Ouma! Held at gunpoint! Ugh. There might not be much damage control he could do for this one.

“I–” Shuichi’s feeble voice drew his eyes back towards the detective, who was staring almost longingly at the bag of crackers. “...I-I’m… okay. Can I…?”

Smiling, Kokichi opened the bag and handed it casually to Shuichi. He’d seen hungrier people get excited over lesser things, but he never thought it’d be Shuichi whose eyes he watched light up over crackers– not even the good kind, either.

“Thank you,” Shuichi breathed hardly a moment before stuffing his mouth with a singular cracker. “Mmf–!”

“I know, I know, they’re the boring bland ones,” Kokichi sighed, riskily allowing some of his Kokichi-typical drama to leak into his voice. “Apparently the food choices dwindle when you’re the mastermind and a certain girl who may or may not be called Maki is watching you all the time.”

That might not be true. Kokichi had only caught her watching him once, and while he didn’t like to consider himself paranoid, he had been anxious about it during all two of his trips into the academy. The feeling of her cold glare on the back of his head followed him everywhere he went, though he could never be sure if he was just imagining things or not, and oh did that frustrate him.

Shuichi swallowed thickly, lifting a hand to his mouth. “N-No, it’s… I didn’t realize how hungry I was. Last time I– I swallowed anything was… when Maki made me swallow the antidote. That was the… the last loop? I think?” A dubious look was suddenly shot his way. “Do you even believe me?”

“Without a single doubt on my mind,” Kokichi lied.

“...so you don’t believe me.” There was something so sad– so heartbroken about his expression that Kokichi almost felt bad for lying.

Almost.

“I never said I didn’t,” he corrected Shuichi, simply to get him to stop making that miserable expression. “I doubt it, but it’s not like I think you’re lying. Maybe you are actually in some freaky time loop, or maybe you are just delusional, but you know a lot of things you probably shouldn’t.” Looking over his shoulder to make sure Kaito and Maki were still preoccupied in their own little discussion, he lowered his voice a little. “I never told a soul about my plan. How much do you know? And don’t worry about the eyes and ears– it’s not gonna matter at this point. You said you know who the mastermind is.”

Shuichi stiffened, his eyes widening slightly. “I… I did…?”

“When you were going off about how I wasn’t the mastermind,” Kokichi patiently recalled. “You said you couldn’t tell us until morning. Well? It’s morning, and I’m suuuper curious. Let me in on the time loop investigating fun too!”

On one hand, at least Shuichi wasn’t shaking so hard anymore. There was still a tremor in his arms as he occasionally lifted another cracker to his mouth, but he wasn’t hyperventilating and trembling like a terrified mutt anymore. On the other hand, Kokichi wasn’t sure if he liked the newfound darkness that had dominated Shuichi’s pale features.

“...from what I gathered,” Shuichi began, “your plan involves… in, ah, simple terms… making a crime where both the victim and culprit are unknown. With Monokuma under guard and the Electrobomb knocking out any wireless video communication, he’d have no way of knowing who was under the hydraulic press and who wasn’t, thus creating a scenario in which Monokuma doesn’t even know the culprit. Am– am I right?”

Extremely. And that’s what was freaking him out.

“That’s the gist of it,” Kokichi confirmed reluctantly. “I never expected Maki to show up, so I was trying to readjust things to work out in the way I wanted while she was trying to interrogate me. I still have no idea what a Remnant of Despair is.”

“It’s, ah… it’s hard to explain,” Shuichi winced. He took a moment to eat and swallow another cracker before continuing. “We got a Flashback Light… t-technically yesterday, I think? It made us remember we were all students in Hope’s Peak Academy, a-and that you were a Remnant of Despair, which is, um, a despair group of sorts…? You worshiped this woman called Junko Enoshima, the Ultimate Despair.”

Ooh, that name sent a very strange shiver of pure fury down his spine, though he had absolutely no idea why. Ever since he banged his head on those stupid, uneven floorboards during Angie and Tenko’s investigation, his memories and feelings had been really annoying. Seeing the outside world for himself hadn’t been as shocking as he thought it’d be, in a sense. In fact, he had been almost expecting it. The only reason he was surprised was because there was something beyond those doors at all.

This must be another memory-feeling thing. If he was a Remnant of Despair, he must have really not liked whoever Junko Enoshima was if it was enough to warrant an instinctive emotional reaction.

“That’s why we were so sure you were the mastermind,” Shuichi told him in a whisper. “That you orchestrated this killing game for your beloved Junko.”

Kokichi automatically cringed. “She is not my beloved Junko. I would never call any woman my beloved. Also, sorry, the name doesn’t really ring a bell.”

“I thought so,” Shuichi sighed, the lie seeming to fly directly over his head. “I’ve had a lot of time to think during these time loops. The more I thought about that Flashback Light, the more… confused I got. Where did we even learn you were a Remnant of Despair if it was a carefully guarded secret? How could something like the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in human history be dealt and done with as quickly as it was? If I’m in a time loop, just how real are my memories at this point? If I can remember things that never happened in the current present, then what does that mean for all my other memories? Is it possible those are fake, too?”

Fake memories.

That was something Kokichi wondered about when he really started thinking about the Flashback Lights. If the people running this killing game operation could give and take away memories at a moment's notice, then who’s to say they couldn’t just make up memories? Brains were easy to manipulate like that– give it a simple blank and prompt and it’d work itself out.

“I think you need to stop thinking for a while,” was what Kokichi told him instead. “Try turning off that brain a little bit. As much as I love it, I don’t think it’s doing you any favors.”

“...one last thing,” Shuichi murmured. “The mastermind… I’m still not one hundred percent sure. I don’t want to baselessly accuse anyone–”

“What are you basing the assumption on, then?” Kokichi asked him.

Shuichi hesitated. He looked away from Kokichi, his eyebrows pinching as his shoulders tensed and a shiver wracked his body. Kokichi decided not to point this out.

“She, um…” Shuichi fingered the plastic of the bag anxiously, looking anywhere but at Kokichi. “I– did I tell you I was hit in the head…?”

“Yes,” Kokichi replied truthfully. “I thought that’s what triggered this whole thing– that you had brain damage or something and it made you really delusional.”

“Please stop saying that,” Shuichi pleaded, although his voice was quiet and not very stern. “...well, um… I got hit in the head… when I died for the first time.”

Died for the first time. Kokichi wasn’t sure why that phrase seemed so unsettling to him.

“I died instantly,” Shuichi recalled, his voice quivering. “I… I think, anyway. I had such a bad headache when I woke up I don’t even remember. But– b-but, ah, I– I went to her because I needed… help… with the time loop…”

Shaking voice. Not good. Kokichi really didn’t want Shuichi to start crying again– the poor guy seemed worn out enough as it is, with how dull his voice sounded– so in an attempt to try and comfort him, Kokichi reached out one hand to hold one of Shuichi’s.

He regretted it immediately, but not because of Shuichi. He regretted it because now he was in this awkward position and the butterflies in his stomach could all set themselves on fire because this was not the time. Shuichi was sharing something very serious and he was just comforting him like any good buddy-ol’-pal would do. It wasn’t like he missed Shuichi and craved physical contact or anything. And no, the small, reassured smile Shuichi gave him in response to this small gesture did not make his heart flutter like a stupid moth. Not the time, MOTH.

Well. Anyways.

“...she’s the one who suggested it to me at all,” Shuichi began softly. “I didn’t believe it– I couldn’t believe it. Time loops can’t be real. I thought I was having a really strange dream or something, and I went through that morning three times before I decided to change what I did. I… I went to Tsumugi for help.”

“Tsumugi?” Kokichi couldn't help but echo. “Oh, let me guess. She probably equated your problem to something in an anime.”

Shuichi’s entire face scrunched up. “She did, actually. That’s– heh, that’s actually the excuse I came to her for to try and inconspicuously ask her about it. I still don’t know if she believed me or not, but… she went along with it for a little bit. Then, when my back was turned, she… ah…”

“She whacked you with her Electrohammer caved your skull in,” Kokichi finished summarizing for him.

“Did I mention her Electrohammer…?” Shuichi wondered under his breath.

“Earlier you did,” Kokichi assured him mildly. “I’m just piecing everything together now.”

“Ah.” Shuichi nodded slightly, as if processing that information, before continuing. “I figured, when I learned you weren’t the mastermind, that it could be Tsumugi. I think she killed me because I told her I was going to try to prevent a murder from happening… which, if she is the mastermind, is something she would want to happen.”

Tsumugi Shirogane was someone Kokichi admittedly never paid much attention to. She was anime-obsessed, talented at her craft, very plain, and that was all Kokichi cared to know about her. She had a tendency to fade into the background, unnoticed and unimportant. She was boring, simply put; no fun at all.

Stamping the mastermind title onto her wasn’t totally unfitting though. In fact, Kokichi could see it pretty well– what a shocking twist it would be if the most ordinary, unremarkable girl ever conceived was the ringleader of a killing game. An audience would go wild for that.

“Makes sense to me,” Kokichi hummed. “Thanks for all the detective work, Shuichi. But I think you’ve done enough.”

A puzzled look flickered across Shuichi’s face. “Wh-What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Kokichi swiped the now empty bag from Shuichi, crumpling it up and tossing it to the side, “you’re exhausted. When did you last sleep?”

Shuichi was quiet, not seeming to have an answer.

“Exactly,” Kokichi said pointedly. “I–... we can’t have our detective going all mushy-brained on us, can we? Last time that happened, he started holding a bunch of people hostage. We can’t have that happening again, can we?”

“I wasn’t actually going to shoot any of you,” Shuichi mumbled. “...e-except Kaito. I just wanted to show Maki I was serious, I– I didn’t mean to… shoot him…”

“You missed by missing?” Kokichi snorted. “Yeah, you’re way too tired to be doing anything right now. Time for bed.”

“B-But– But I can’t sleep,” Shuichi insisted, only now seeming to process what Kokichi was suggesting. “I’m doing so good! I– w-we finally got through the night and everyone’s alive! If something happens during the day–”

“Nothing is going to happen,” Kokichi reassured him simply. “You screwed up all of my plans, so thanks for that, but now that we know who the real mastermind is. We can put an end to the killing game. No one else is dying… except maybe Tsumugi but I’ll ask Maki to save it for later.”

“What about Monokuma–?”

Kokichi smirked. “I’ll have the Exisals blow him up. My guess is that a new one can’t be made if the mastermind isn’t there to make one. Besides, the Exisals can’t punish us for breaking the rules if I’m controlling them, right?”

“...destroy… Monokuma…” Shuichi murmured, staring down at the floor. He went to lift his hand to his mouth in his typical thinking gesture, but Kokichi was quick to gently bat it away.

“Hey, what did I just tell you? No thoughts,” Kokichi scolded him, although playfully. “You’re banished from thinking until you get some sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep,” Shuichi snapped. “I need to be awake to make sure everything goes right.”

“I can do that just fine,” Kokichi pointed out. He paused for a moment, before begrudgingly adding, “and Kaito can too, I guess. Just ask him to hold down the fort while you unliquify your brain.”

Shuichi was glaring at him now. “My brain isn’t liquified. And… and I… I don’t want to go to sleep, because what if–” he shivered, coiling his arms around himself. “...what if I don’t wake up?”

For a moment, Kokichi thought that worry lied in the possibility of him not waking up in case of an emergency. That was a fair concern to have– Kokichi would be cranky if he was woken up after multiple all-nighters, too.

But then he realized, in context with Shuichi’s predicament…

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen,” Kokichi promised firmly. “You’re safe, Shuichi. I won’t let anything happen to you, alright?”

“I don’t want to do this again,” Shuichi whispered, his hands finding their way to his hair. “If this worked so well, I don’t… i-it could work again, if I play my cards right–”

“Shuichi.” Kokichi grabbed both of his wrists to stop him from tugging at his hair, pulling them back down. “It’s fine. Everything is going to be okay, so you can chill out a little. I’ll wake you up before the evening announcement, okay?”

“How do I know you’re not lying?” Shuichi demanded.

“I swear it on all nine of my lives,” Kokichi told him seriously. “Besides, you’ll need to eat dinner, anyway. It works out.”

Shuichi clenched and unclenched his fists, not entirely meeting Kokichi’s eyes. He was uncertain, Kokichi could see that; perhaps all he needed was a little push.

So, Kokichi scooted closer to Shuichi, wrapped an arm around him, and pulled him close, letting the detective’s head fall into his lap. Shuichi sputtered in surprise, a faint blush dusting his cheeks as he shot Kokichi a bewildered look.

“It’s nap time,” Kokichi told him, violently beating back the stupid fluffy emotions that were threatening to taint his voice with a metaphorical, internal broom. “So just close your eyes and trust that we’ll take everything from here. That’s what you’re all about, right? Trust and truth and dumb things like that.”

That seemed to do the trick. Something he said seemed to resonate deeply with Shuichi, a small shine returning to his eyes.

“...I can rely on my friends…” Shuichi whispered. Those words made Shuichi’s entire body relax as he let out a breath, a small smile growing on his face. “Okay, I… I believe you. I have my friends… a-and now I have you, K-...Koki…”

“Koki?” he echoed in simultaneous shock and amusement. “Aww, is Shuichi giving me pet names already?”

Shuichi drowsily blinked up at him. “Huh?”

“Just go to sleep,” Kokichi advised quickly. He ran his fingers through Shuichi’s ruffled hair, which made Shuichi shiver. “Night, Shuichi.”

It seemed like letting himself relax was the trick, because Kokichi wasn’t even sure if Shuichi heard him. He continued petting Shuichi’s hair, just as a precaution; the action seemed to soothe him, and he deserved to be comfortable, time loop or not.

Once he was one hundred percent sure Shuichi was totally conked out, he released a huge breath, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. That was way more stressful than he thought it’d be. Tsumugi was the mastermind? Kokichi was actually starting to believe something as insane as a time loop? And why the FUCK did Shuichi call him Koki!?

And now I have you. What did he mean by that? Did he have him as a teammate? A friend? A fellow classmate stuck in a killing game? Kokichi wasn’t sure if he was allowed to be called any of those things after everything he’d done– especially to Miu and Gonta. Even if Miu had it coming a tiny bit.

“Is he out?”

Kaito’s uncharacteristically mellow voice made him turn his head to look up at the astronaut. He and Maki had approached him, and Kokichi couldn’t tell if he hadn’t noticed because he was distracted by his own thoughts or if he was just that tired.

“Like a light,” Kokichi replied. “We’re waking him up before the evening announcement, though. He’ll have my head if we don’t.”

“I doubt he’ll wake up before that,” Kaito sighed. “We’re planning what to do next, and we need your input. And don’t you dare start on that mastermind crap again– we’re not putting up with it.”

“You’re quick to trust me,” Kokichi teased.

“I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you,” Kaito corrected him, looking alarmed by the mere notion. “You’re still an annoying piece of shit, and you’re still responsible for Miu and Gonta. But I don’t want to fight you if it means somebody’s gonna die.”

“I’ll try to refrain from strangling you,” Maki added graciously. “At least, not until I know if you’re really the mastermind or not.”

Kokichi flashed the two of them a grin. “You want to kill the mastermind?”

Now, don’t get him wrong, Kokichi hated killing. He hated murder. He hated everything to do with this game, and Maki and her stupid talent. What kind of maniac specializes in killing people? He couldn’t fathom the idea at all.

That wasn’t to say not all people deserved to die. Sometimes, saving the world from just one more dangerous, evil excuse of a human being was necessary.

If it meant that this killing game would stop, Kokichi wouldn't mind looking the other way as Maki pulverized somebody. After all, what was a little more blood on her hands, anyway?

“I have just the person in mind,” he told them. “But you’ll have to wait just a little, okay? Here’s my idea…”

***

“Shuichi…”

“Are you sure he’s gonna even realize what’s happening?”

“He was tired, not comatose. Shuichi, wakey wakey! It’s almost night.”

“I hope he is able to fall back asleep after this. People are not naturally nocturnal.”

“How would you know? You’re a robot.”

“I maintain an average sleep schedule like any of you would, I’ll have you know!”

“Nyeh… keep going like that. He’ll definitely wake up to the noise.”

“Oh! Should I get some pots and pans?”

Well, one thing was right. The noise was definitely waking him up.

“Shut uppp,” he groaned quietly, trying to roll over to make it stop. He was tired– couldn’t they let him sleep?

“Well, now I just plainly feel bad…”

“You would feel bad, huh?”

“Wh-What does that mean?”

“Ignore him. Kokichi’s just being an asshole because he knows no one is going to punch him.”

“Nishishi~! ♪”

Yup. No one was going to let him fall back asleep. Shuichi shifted until he could rub his eyes, his eyelids feeling as if they were being weighed down by anvils. Looks like he had no choice but to get up–

–Kokichi’s here!?

Shuichi shot upwards, almost slamming his head into Kokichi’s in the process. The boy yelped and jerked backwards, seemingly startled by his reaction, but Shuichi was busy trying to figure out what the hell kind of situation he was in right now.

All of his classmates were in what he assumed to be his room, staring at him with wide eyes. Kokichi was sitting next to him on his bed, K1-B0, Himiko, and Maki were all standing close by, Kaito was sitting on his chair with a half empty water bottle and a bloody rag, and…

…Tsumugi was standing next to Kaito, her eyebrows pinched in worry.

Everyone is here… this is okay. His eyes wandered towards Kokichi, who was smiling knowingly. And he’s here, too. So… Kaito and Maki believed me…?

“Good evening, Shuichi,” K1-B0 greeted him politely.

“What happened…?” Shuichi asked in barely a murmur. He had a feeling he was missing a lot of context clues.

“Neither you or Maki showed up at the dining hall this morning,” Tsumugi took to explaining. “We checked your rooms, but since we couldn’t find either of you, we just decided to try to storm the hangar anyway. Imagine how plainly surprised we were when Maki opened the shutter for us from the other side and we saw you lying in Kokichi’s lap!”

Shuichi felt his face heat up as this morning’s events all came flooding back to him. Glancing at Kokichi, he wished for nothing more than to sink into the earth and never return. He called him Koki out of completely nowhere! That was going to be embarrassing to deal with later, because there was no way Kokichi wasn’t going to mention it.

“Come on, enough with the boring stuff. Up and at ‘em, Shuichi!” Kokichi encouraged him optimistically, completely ignoring Tsumugi. “I told you I’d wake you up before the nighttime announcement, didn’t I?”

“Ah…! Is it that time already?” Shuichi instinctively shot a look at the monitor in his room, his previous worries vanishing from his mind. Almost there… I’m almost done with this time loop. It’s almost done!

“Yup! Almost time for it all to end,” Kokichi agreed, his eyes sparkling. “I missed you soooo much, Shuichi… everyone here is bullying me.”

“You’ve been making fun of us every chance you get!” Himiko protested hotly. “I’d have cursed you for eternity if I didn’t feel bad for Shuichi.”

“Shuichiiii…” Kokichi whined, clinging onto his arm. “The small one is threatening meeeee…”

“Knock it off,” Maki snapped at the both of them. “Now that Shuichi’s awake, we shouldn’t waste any time. We’re going to find the mastermind.”

Shuichi blinked at her. That edge to her voice– he didn’t like it. It felt strangely rhetorical, as if finding the mastermind was just another minor inconvenience in a killing game. No one else seemed to notice the tonal shift, and if they did, they certainly didn’t show it.

“The real mastermind,” Tsumugi added determinedly. “The sooner we can end this, the better!”

“Once the nighttime announcement plays, we’ll head out and start looking for clues,” Kaito decided, sporting his typical, reassuring toothy grin that automatically eased just a few of Shuichi’s worries.

“Why are we waiting for the evening announcement?” K1-B0 questioned, looking at Kokichi specifically for answers.

“Shuichi wants to see it,” Kokichi told the robot simply. “His time loop business, remember? It’s just so he won’t be freaking out the entire time we’re looking for clues.”

Shuichi stiffened. “You told them about that…?”

“I don’t see why we wouldn’t,” Maki shrugged. “That’s why you pulled a gun on us, isn’t it? That’s the reason you gave us.”

“It’s a little confusing…” Tsumugi admitted sheepishly, resting her cheek in her palm. “But I guess it’s not too out of the realm of possibility.”

“Time magic…” Himiko shuddered drastically. “Almost every magician tries to avoid time-based magic. It gets way too confusing.”

“A time loop isn’t scientifically possible,” K1-B0 protested. “Shuichi, I don’t mean to doubt you, but I have a difficult time believing a time loop exists.”

“Isn’t your whole thing learning about the world and growing and changing as a robot?” Kokichi challenged him sharply. “Maybe Shuichi made a scientific breakthrough. Ever think about that?”

“You–” K1-B0 began, before the words seemed to process in his head and he lowered his accusing finger, his frown pulled taut. “...that is a possibility…”

“So what loop are you on now, Shuichi?” Tsumugi asked him.

(“Wha– it took you four tries to realize? You didn’t notice anything weird when you replayed the day for a second time?”)

It would be okay. He had five other people in the room with him, one of which who was aware of the true mastermind. It wouldn’t kill him to talk to her.

“I think…” Shuichi murmured, lifting a hand to his mouth as he thought. The loop he got shot in was his ninth one, so if he died three times after that… “This is my thirteenth loop, I think.”

“Thirteenth?” Tsumugi echoed. “What were you doing in the other ones…?”

“Investigating,” Shuichi didn’t hesitate to tell her. “I had to stop the murder from happening to end the loops. But…” he couldn’t help but look at Kokichi, who was grinning. “I think it’ll be okay this time. I– I think this was my last try.”

“How difficult was it to prevent a murder from happening?” Himiko inquired. “I know getting into the hangar would be a little hard, but Maki did it.”

“He was dealing with me, Kaito and Kokichi,” Maki answered for him, thank goodness. “Time loop or not, that’s a lot to deal with at once.”

“But I’m proud of him for it,” Kaito interjected unexpectedly. “Even if his method wasn’t the best, at least he stopped anyone from dying. That’s all I care about in the end.”

Guilt slammed into Shuichi with the force of a pick-up truck as he saw the bandages wound around Kaito’s arm. He really hadn’t meant to shoot him, but he had been so scared Maki wouldn’t listen to him and would kill Kokichi anyway. He’d have to do a lot to make up for that.

“And we’ll keep it that way,” said K1-B0, drawing him back into the conversation. “No one else is going to die.”

Shuichi closed his eyes, still smiling. No one else is going to die. He hated that he had to hurt people for it to happen, but he managed to convince his friends that Kokichi wasn’t the mastermind. He stopped Kokichi from going through with his plan. Everything that would have happened wasn’t going to because he changed the future.

I changed the future.

Hm. That phrase left an odd taste in his mouth.

–

ding dong bing bong

The nighttime announcement was empty. And in turn, so was Shuichi’s room.

It took him a moment to realize he was standing now, his bed neatly made and undisturbed, and no sign of anyone else ever being in his room.

Shuichi blinked. He turned around once, then turned back to face his door.

“…what?”

Chapter Text

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Shuichi burst out. “I did everything right! I kept everyone alive! Everyone was fine!”

Everyone was fine.

Shuichi gripped either side of his head. His overwhelming emotions were giving him a headache– he didn’t even know what he was feeling. Was it the anger making his breath come short? Was it the guilt from hurting his friends all for nothing? Was it the dread of having to do this all again?

Maybe it was the confusion of the loop restarting when all of his friends were alive.

Or perhaps it was the sadness of all of his work being in vain.

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t… I don’t know! I don’t know why the loop restarted! I–

“No.” Shuichi lowered his hands, letting out a trembling breath. “No, maybe… maybe it didn’t. M-Maybe… it’s just another lapse in memory from losing s-so much sleep. Everyone probably already called out Tsumugi, a-and– everything… has to be fine…”

It’s not.

“Everything’s fine…”

It’s not. It restarted. I failed and I don’t know why.

His cheeks felt wet. He aggressively wiped his eyes clean of his tears and hurried out his door.

“I have to be sure,” he whispered, running up the stairs as fast as he could. “There’s always a chance.”

Shuichi rang Maki’s doorbell after nearly slamming into her door, his heart racing. Panic, uncertainty, anger– he had to be sure. He just needed to be positive.

The door opened following his insistent ringing, and Maki’s glare greeted him.

“Do you want to die?” she asked him darkly.

Shuichi couldn’t find it in his heart to be afraid. “Maki! Tell me, please! What are– what are we doing tomorrow morning?”

“Why are you freaking out?” Maki questioned. “Did you hit your head?”

“Answer the question! Please.”

“We’re going to raid the hangar to rescue Kaito and defeat Kokichi.”

It felt like the world slowed down around him. Everything stopped, but continued all the same.

“What’s wrong?” Maki’s voice sounded distant to his ears despite the fact she was standing right in front of him. “Shuichi?”

I failed.

It… didn’t work…

Shuichi thought his heart had been crushed before. He thought it shattered irreparably as that realization came to him; that Kaede was the culprit. He thought it broke when he learned the truth of the outside world– that everything was meaningless. There was no reason to be alive. The remnants of his heart had been stomped on with Kokichi’s confession; a revelation that one of his dearest classmates was the mastermind.

No. This feeling… this feeling was as if the very earth beneath his feet had opened to swallow him whole. Like a foul tar was slowly filling his lungs, suffocating him with every breath he took. He couldn’t feel his hands. He couldn’t feel his skin.

The blood rushing through his veins was cold. That should keep him upright, rigid, but it did not. His shoulders slumped. His knees shook under his weight; a weight he could not feel.

What is this? he had to wonder. He was in awe. What was this horrible feeling? This crushing, overwhelming feeling that made him long for the emptiness of death? How could any human being be capable of feeling such an awful thing…? It shouldn’t be possible.

Oh. Ohh. Now he got it!

This feeling… this was the true feeling of despair.

The world around him didn’t feel real. Maki’s face, her hand on his shoulder, looked artificial. He couldn’t feel a thing. His senses had scrambled, some working and some failing.

Failing just as he had.

Kaito suffered that bullet wound for nothing. A wound caused by his own hands. He struck fear into his friend’s hearts all for it to be useless. He hurt his friends. He did the very thing he killed himself so he wouldn’t have to.

There was a sharp sting in his cheek. He gasped so hard stars flew across his vision, finally remembering to breathe in.

“Shuichi! Snap out of it!” Maki was shouting at him. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I failed,” his mouth spoke for him. “Everything I did… I failed.”

Maki stared at him, but he couldn’t really read her expression. Her face felt blurred, her cold, red eyes searing into his skull. It made him shudder, but he couldn't bring himself to look away. “What the hell are you talking about?”

I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I couldn’t get us out of this.

There’s no way out of this. I’m stuck.

I’m stuck in a time loop, and there’s no way out.

There’s no way out.

There’s…

(“His burdens are my burdens, so I have to be there for him in the way he wants.”)

“Kaito.” Shuichi finally looked away from Maki. “I have to… talk to him.”

“Hold on, Shuichi,” said Maki. “Did something happen? Is that why you’re acting so stra– hey!”

Shuichi wasn’t listening. He couldn’t bear this horrible feeling– he had to do something! He couldn’t be trapped in this time loop forever! There had to be some way he could get out of this! His last hope– he could cling onto it. He had to try and rekindle this dying ember before it extinguished.

His feet carried him all the way to those winding corridors. He was vaguely aware of Maki following him, but he didn’t care. He needed Kaito. Kaito would surely have some idea on what to do. Kaito was there for him when he lost Kaede– when he thought everything was over. Surely Kaito would be there for him again.

The bathroom window was small, but he could see through it just fine. He banged his fist on the wall.

“Kaito!” he called out to his friend, who jumped a good foot into the air.

“Wha– Shuichi?” Kaito sputtered in shock, standing up. “What are you doing back h–”

“Kaito, I’m stuck in a time loop and I have to get out of it!” Shuichi blurted out frantically. “I can’t see anyone else die, please! I’m tired of going into that stupid hangar and seeing Kokichi dead in that stupid press! I’ve tried everything I can– I tried stopping Maki! I tried stopping all of you! But even with everyone alive, the loop still restarted! Please, you have to– you–”

“Shuichi, you gotta slow down,” Kaito advised him as he sputtered over his words. “Nothing you’re saying’s making any sense, bro. Time loop…?”

“Time loops don’t exist,” Maki said, reminding him that she was also there.

Shuichi growled in frustration. “I know. I said that the first five times. But I’m– I don’t know what else to do. I’ve investigated everything I can, I– I know everything about the case. I know what’s going to happen, but I still– I don’t know. I don’t know what to do!”

“You’ve gotta pull yourself together,” Kaito told him firmly. “Take a deep breath, Shuichi. I don’t know what’s going on but you’re not gonna solve it if your head isn’t on straight.”

Shuichi nodded, shakily inhaling as deeply as he could. He already felt lightheaded enough from all his hyperventilating, and this breathing exercise certainly didn’t help him feel any better.

“Now tell me what’s happening,” Kaito said when he saw Shuichi’s breathing even out a little more.

Swallowing thickly, Shuichi tried again. “I’m in a time loop. I thought I could end it by getting everyone through the day alive, but it didn’t work and I don’t know what else I could do. Please, I need help.”

“You’re stuck in a time loop?” Kaito echoed, and the skepticism in his eyes felt equivalent to wrenching a knife through Shuichi’s chest. “I’m not sure what to do about that, honestly… it sounds a little unrealistic.”

“Then how do I know you’re going to attack Kokichi and try to get him to surrender?” Shuichi snapped. “Or how else would I know that Maki was going to break into the hangar with an Exisal and torture Kokichi for information?”

Maki’s glare sharpened, and even Kaito looked taken aback.

“I’m in a time loop,” Shuichi insisted stubbornly. “I want out. I can’t take reliving this night anymore– I hate knowing I can’t do anything to stop you three from hurting each other! No matter what I do, someone is going to die anyway, and even if they don’t, the result will still be the same! The loop is going to reset and I don’t know how to stop it!”

“Okay, okay, okay. I have no clue what you’re talking about, but I’ll do my best,” Kaito promised. “Maki Roll, you gotta help out, too. So you’re looking for a way to, uh, end the time loops, right? And getting everyone to the end alive didn’t work out.”

The relief that flooded his body could have swept him off his feet. “Right, yes.”

“So you’ve got to find an alternate solution,” Kaito declared. “You’re smart, Shuichi, so I know you can figure something out.”

“Or you’ll realize that you’re delusional,” Maki added hurtfully.

And, much to Shuichi’s alarm, Kaito nodded. “Or… yeah, that.”

“I’m not delusional,” Shuichi protested. They thought this way last time, too– maybe it was something that came predetermined with every loop. He was pretty sure the only reason they didn’t talk about it all that much was because of the plan to out and defeat Tsumugi as the mastermind, so his time loop dilemma was overshadowed.

“Shuichi…” He hated the look in Kaito’s eyes as he spoke– the look of concern, but not because of his problem. “I promised you that your worries were my worries, because you’re my sidekick, and I’ll take responsibility for you. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to point out when you’re being irrational.”

A different solution.

Irrational.

“You don’t believe me,” Shuichi meant to ask him, but his words came out flat, as a statement.

“Time loops may exist in fiction, but they can’t happen in real life,” Maki told him, and her voice was so frustratingly factual it filled him with an uncomfortable feeling of… anger? “There’s a reason time machines haven’t been invented yet.”

“That’s not to say they’re impossible,” Kaito pointed out. “But a time loop… time just doesn’t work like that, Shuichi.”

He found despair in his anger. That despair is why he glared so fiercely at Kaito. “Aren’t you always saying the impossible is possible?”

“You can’t argue with time, Shuichi,” Kaito said.

His heart hurt. This despair was suffocating. He needed it out– he needed it to stop. He’d do anything to make this feeling stop!

You can’t argue with time.

Shuichi stared at Kaito’s face, but he couldn’t see it clearly.

Hope. Shuichi had felt that before. He felt it when Kokichi tenderly looked at him as his eyelids were drooping, his fingers tentatively brushing through his hair. He felt it when Kokichi told him that he would take it from there, and that Shuichi could rest. It was a bright light, like a roaring, determined fire curling and licking hungrily at the air. It was such a powerful drug, yet a feeble one all the same.

That bright, searing hope is why Shuichi had plunged so far into this despair. What a cruel, cruel feeling.

“...I guess you’re right,” Shuichi whispered in numb acceptance. “I really can’t fight time, can I?”

That was the simple truth of the matter. That was the truth Shuichi had tried so hard to avoid.

Everything was hopeless.

…Shuichi didn’t remember how he got back to his room.

Looking around though, he found that he didn’t really… care all that much. All he wanted to do was lie down.

So that’s what he did. He lazily drew his blanket over himself and stared at the wall. All of his thoughts felt fuzzy in his head– indiscernable– but that was okay. He didn’t want to think anyway. There was no point, was there?

Shuichi shouldn’t have tried in the first place.

The morning announcement played. It was empty as always. Shuichi was unfortunately awake before it, and he was still awake a little while later, when his doorbell rang.

It rang nonstop, grating against his ears. But he didn’t move to try and stop it. They’d quit it when they went to rescue Kaito and discover Kokichi’s body.

Koki… right. Shuichi let him die again.

Wow, he was an awful friend.

(And really, what kind of friend was he to wish that Kokichi was holding him again, whispering kind things into his ear and brushing his hair? He longed for the warmth of Kokichi’s words, of his hands, and yet Shuichi might have well as dropped the press on him himself.

There was a way to save him. But it wouldn’t matter in the end. It’d all restart anyway, so why try?

After all, Shuichi could not fight time. And perhaps this is how time wanted to progress.)

He heard his door open.

“Shuichi?” came K1-B0’s voice. “Ah, he’s in here. Shuichi, are you awake?”

Shuichi didn’t respond. He didn’t want to see Kokichi dead again.

“I told you he’s been acting weird since last night,” Maki’s voice supplied. “He said something about a time loop, and then ran off.”

“Time loop?” Himiko echoed dubiously. “What do you mean?”

A hand placed itself on his shoulder and he instinctively froze. It was cold and stiff– probably K1-B0’s.

“Shuichi, please wake up,” K1-B0 requested. “We all agreed to save Kaito today.”

You’re not going to. “I don’t… feel good,” was his attempt at an excuse. “You can go without me.”

“We all agreed to this,” Maki reminded him. “You’re not exempt from that. Come on, get up.”

“Maki,” Tsumugi scolded her lightly. “Are you okay, Shuichi? You sound just… plainly depressed.”

“I don’t feel good,” he repeated. “Please, I… I just want to be left alone.”

I’m sorry. I can’t handle anyone else right now. I don’t want to see anyone knowing I could have stopped them. Maki… Himiko… I’m so sorry…

“Did… something happen?” K1-B0 continued to push, and Shuichi understood that he was trying to be kind, but it was getting on his nerves and he felt horrible about it.

“Doesn’t matter,” Shuichi mumbled. Maki and Kaito didn’t believe him, and it was already too late to save Kokichi. “I’m begging you. Please, just go. The Exisals are too busy monitoring Monokuma to care about your hammers, anyway.”

“...monitoring?” Maki echoed suspiciously.

Shuichi didn’t respond. He pulled his blanket over his head, shutting out the world. So long as three people entered that hangar, the loop would begin anew.

It was as Kaito said. He couldn’t fight time.

So why even bother?

–

ding dong bing bong

Those bells used to get on his nerves. Now Shuichi was simply used to them.

That was the morning announcement. He laid in bed all night, not quite sleeping but not quite awake, and waited.

His doorbell rang. But contrary to the last time, no one entered. That was probably because he locked his door.

–

Despite having given up, Shuichi was getting restless.

Restless and really, really hungry.

He spent the evening dry heaving into the toilet. He tried to shower, but he zoned out for most of it and wasn’t even sure if he got into the tub or not.

Time loops suck. He wanted to do something about it, even if he knew he couldn’t.

–

Perhaps it was the smell of sea salt. Or perhaps it was the rumbling in his stomach. He wasn’t sure what motivated him to get out of bed that morning, but he did.

His body was weak. He had to support himself on the wall as he walked, one arm clutching his stomach as hunger gnawed at him like a ferocious shark. In the fog that had grown in his mind, one thought stood out to him the most.

I need to eat.

Starving to death would be a horrible way to go, and an even worse death loop to get caught in. At least with the poison he had time to find help– if he grew hungry enough, he wouldn’t even be able to make it to his door before he went down again.

As hopeless as he was, he didn’t want to torture himself. Things were bad enough as it is.

The sun beat down on his sore eyes ruthlessly and he blinked hard. He knew perfectly well it wasn’t real– it was part of the “Ark”. A way to give them hope, and make them feel at home.

But now, it only reminded him that he was trapped. Trapped in the Ark, and trapped in this time loop.

If he was lucky, he could make it to the dining hall before his friends triggered the body discovery announcement. He might be able to raid the kitchen and find something to satiate his hunger before that happened. If he ate too much at once, he’d simply make himself sick, so he’d have to deal with something small.

It wasn’t like he could stock up his room with food. It’d all disappear following the time loop, anyway.

His friend’s voices carried through the hall as he approached the double doors, and he found himself hesitating near them.

“...happened to him?” K1-B0 was worrying. “Shuichi isn’t one to be late.”

“Maybe he just overslept,” Himiko suggested.

“Shuichi’s usually pretty good about waking up to the morning announcement,” Tsumugi pointed out. “What if… Kokichi caught wind of what we were planning?”

“So he hurt Shuichi?” K1-B0 guessed, his voice layered with alarm. “Why would he do that? And how? Shuichi can take care of himself.”

Hah. Barely, his brain chimed in unhelpfully.

“If Kokichi threatened Kaito, Shuichi would do anything he told him to,” Maki grumbled, her harsh words feeling like an extra punch in the gut. “But I don’t know when he would have had the opportunity to come to the dorms.”

“I think you need to give Shuichi a little more credit.” Much to his surprise, it was Tsumugi who came to his defense. “Even if Kokichi threatened Kaito, Shuichi wouldn’t go down without a fight. He’s tough like that, isn’t he?”

Shuichi let out a sigh. He didn’t want to listen to this anymore– he didn’t want to hear how little faith his classmates had in him. He forced his feet forward, giving himself little time to prepare facing his classmates for the first time in… however many loops it had been since he gave up.

I gave up.

Oh, Kaito would be so mad at him.

Instantly, all heads turned in his direction as he stepped foot into the dining hall, and complicated emotions appeared on all of his friend’s faces. Shock on one end, muted disbelief on the other. Maki even looked startled, and maybe a tiny bit irritated.

“Shuichi! You look…” K1-B0 trailed off, visibly conflicted.

“You look like you rose from the dead,” Tsumugi commented, glancing him up and down with a nervous smile. “Did you, um… have a bad night?”

“I just need something to eat,” Shuichi mumbled, cringing at how weak his voice was. Had he really become this frail in just a few loops? “I’m… so hungry.”

His classmates exchanged looks with one another. It was Himiko who hurried into the kitchen, giving him the relief of not having to choose his own meal.

“What happened to you?” Maki asked him as bluntly as ever. “You looked fine yesterday– how did this happen in one night?”

Shuichi couldn’t bear to look at her. Maki had been in the center of his plans in every single attempt, whether it be getting into the hangar or stopping her from going at all. He was never able to convince her of the time loop’s legitimacy. She’d simply think he was delusional again, and if he was tired of hearing it.

“I can’t save Kaito,” was the only response he could give her. “Or Kokichi. I give up.”

“Kokichi?” Maki echoed darkly. “Why would you want to save him?”

“It’s too late now,” Shuichi muttered. “He’s already dead.” Not that it’d make a difference either way.

He had accidentally sparked interest in his friend’s eyes, and he might have made Maki genuinely angry. Next time he needed food, it might be best not to say anything at all, he noted to himself.

“Wh-What do you mean he’s dead?” Tsumugi asked him. “Kokichi isn’t dead– he’s the mastermind.”

(“...if you’re in a time loop, you can use that to your advantage.”)

Despair. It welled up inside him like an inky muck, filling his throat and making his stomach curl and squeeze with discomfort. Everything that caused him despair– his hunger, his anger, his grief and helplessness– and everything that his despair caused, it was making his head spin. It was making his jaw clench as he desperately tried to keep his temper under control.

(“That does sound like it’d suck. I’m surprised my sweet Shuichi didn’t totally break from those events.”)

“Damn it!” Shuichi cursed, turning his whole-hearted glare towards the girl. “I don’t want to hear that from you!”

Tsumugi reeled back as if she had been struck, her eyes wide and flashing with hurt. Shuichi was shocked to find that he didn’t care in the slightest, but then again, why should he? If it weren’t for her, the killing game wouldn’t have happened. If it weren’t for the killing game, Shuichi wouldn’t be stuck in this terrible time loop.

If it weren’t for her, all of my friends would still be alive.

“What on earth has gotten into you?” K1-B0 demanded in faint horror. Even Maki looked surprised. “You have no right to lash out at Tsumugi, Shuichi. Apologize this instant.”

“I…” Shuichi began, but trailed off when he realized that this was also pointless. He didn’t have the energy to fight her, and it wasn’t K1-B0’s fault this happened to him.

But he wasn’t going to apologize. He would not be kind to someone who harbored no kindness for others.

By now, Himiko had come back out with a bowl of something– soup, he realized. She glanced, wide-eyed, at Tsumugi’s stunned demeanor, and nervously handed Shuichi the bowl before quickly backing up.

“Thank you,” Shuichi murmured to her, storming towards the farthest corner of the table. “...I’m not participating in the rescue. I’d be useless to you anyway.”

As he sat down, he could feel his friend’s confusion and shock bearing into the back of his head. He did his best not to look at them, as much as it hurt– there was no point. Nothing would change if he followed them to the hangar now; Kokichi was already dead.

Saving him doesn’t matter, he thought miserably, abandoning the spoon to drink the soup straight out of the bowl because fuck he was hungry. I wish I knew what to do, but I don’t. Kaito’s right, I can’t fight time. So why try?

Why bother with anything if it’ll all restart no matter what I do?

“We can do this without Shuichi’s help,” Maki decided, her words stiff. “Come on.”

“But we’re strongest when we work together,” K1-B0 protested. “We can’t do this without him–”

“Shuichi clearly thinks we can do it on our own,” Maki snapped impatiently. “Come on. I’m not waiting any longer.”

“Yeah, maybe… maybe Kaito can knock some sense into him,” Tsumugi agreed, and from her tone, Shuichi could tell he had upset her.

She probably knows that I know. Too bad she can’t call me out.

“Nyeh… I dunno what to think,” Himiko commented. “Shuichi looks terrible, and his natural magical aura is gray and all out of whack. We should save Kaito first… like Tsumugi said, he can do something about it.”

“I… I suppose so,” K1-B0 reluctantly concurred. “Shuichi, we’ll be back soon. Please know that we’re your friends, and… we’ll help you however we can.”

That comment stung much more than he would have liked.

If you want to help me, then why won’t you believe me?

(“Time magic… almost every magician tries to avoid time-based magic. It gets way too confusing.”

“I never said I didn’t. I doubt it, but it’s not like I think you’re lying.”)

Shuichi pushed the empty bowl to the side and slammed his head down on the table.

Even if they did believe him, it wasn’t as if he could do anything. There was no stopping this time loop.

Shuichi was trapped forever.

–

Life got boring when everything stayed the same.

Shuichi had long since lost track of what loop this was. He didn’t bother trying to count– he didn’t even know when a new loop started anymore. He had collapsed back into bed so many times he it had become just another part of his routine.

Sometimes, he’d leave to get breakfast. He learned that with Monokuma locked up, no punishment would follow if he simply… broke into the dining hall. The school rules were meaningless if Monokuma wasn’t there to know when to punish someone for it.

He avoided everyone he could. He didn’t want to see his friends– he didn’t want the reminder that he had given up on trying to save them. Kokichi would continue to die over and over, but Shuichi wasn’t able to save him. He could try– the gun was lying harmlessly deep within the warehouse, waiting for his hands to close over it– but what good would it do when everything would restart anyway?

That didn’t stop him from missing them. Oh, how he missed them so, so much. He longed to train under the stars with Maki and Kaito. The time he spent with K1-B0 talking endlessly about his life as a robot, and what he wanted to do to be more human. Spending time with Himiko and letting his mind rest as she gladly told him all about her magic the greatness of her master. He even missed Tsumugi, and after a while, he was sure he knew why. Shuichi missed the person he knew, not the person she was.

And… Kokichi. Shuichi had never stopped longing for him, not since the moment he came out as the mastermind. Kokichi was a fascinating mystery– an alluring enigma– and Shuichi’s heart ached every time he thought about the boy. His startling words, the warmth of his hands, those cheeky smiles and his addicting giggles. Shuichi had wanted him back from the moment he thought he was the cause of this, and yet when he finally found out he wasn’t, it was too late to save him. Kokichi would die again and again and again.

Missing them made him miss his lost friends all that much more, and he had to wonder why it was now this time loop happened. Why couldn’t time give him the chance to save Rantaro and Kaede? Why did it have to wait until now? Why couldn’t he save any of his friends?

Why doesn’t it matter?

There was something he wanted to try. 

It wouldn’t matter in the end, but it was an idea at the very least. That wasn’t to say Shuichi had regained hope– he truly doubted this idea would work at all– but he’d hate himself even more if he didn’t try. If not even death would save him from his thoughts, no one would.

Still, it felt so unreal. He had promised not to hurt his friends– he killed himself so he wouldn’t have to. But hadn’t he already broken that promise? Kaito was hurt because of him. Maki and Kokichi thought he would hurt them, and that was bad enough. If you asked Shuichi, he was already far past the point of no return. There was nothing worse than giving up, and yet he had done so.

ding dong

There was a numbing buzz in Shuichi’s mind as the door opened.

“Hel– OH! Shuichi!” she exclaimed when she saw him.

Don’t think of her as a person. She is the mastermind. She started the killing game. Thinking of who she pretends to be will make this harder.

“Goodness, what happened to you?” she fretted for him, her voice layered with anxiety. “You look really pale, and you’re sweating a lot… are you okay?”

Mastermind. She is the mastermind.

Shuichi curled his fingers tightly around the weapon in his hands, hidden behind his back.

He placed one hand on her shoulder, and she flinched, but didn’t try pulling away. And before she could speak, he revealed his weapon. A kitchen knife.

He didn’t give her any time to scream. She couldn’t, not as her throat filled with blood. He knew that feeling all too well, having experienced it for himself.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” The words came out of his mouth unwillingly as he yanked his knife back, shoving her to the ground. His heart was pounding so hard it hurt, blood roaring so loudly in his ears he had to shout to hear himself. “How could you do something so horrible!? This killing game is cruel! Nothing but cruelty! You’re why nine of my friends are dead! You’re why I’m in this STUPID TIME LOOP to begin with!”

There was no satisfaction in his heart as he watched blood pool at her throat, her body twitching as she tried to save herself. He felt nothing but sorrow as she ceased to move at all, and yet there were no tears in his eyes. How could he feel anything but remorse? No matter who she was and what she did, he killed her. He ripped her life away from her just as she had. That emptiness would welcome her too, with the same coldness he had met it with.

By the school rules, he was now the blackened. But the school rules didn’t matter when he could so easily dodge the responsibility of his own actions by simply slicing open his own throat.

Now came the question of if it worked. Did killing the mastermind really end the time loop?

He supposed he’d find out.

(So long as he focused on that, he could ignore the blood on his hands and shirt. He could ignore the way he was shaking, or the way his vision blurred with tears. He had to focus on the time loop, or else he’d think about what he just did.

The time loop changed him. It changed him the minute he even considered grabbing that gun.

There was no going back from this.)

He felt as if he were in a half-conscious trance as he dragged the body, so dead, so bloody, into the center of the dormitory, just at the bottom of the stairs. Then, knife still in hand, Shuichi stepped over it and sat down on the stairs, staring down at what he had done.

While he looked at the body, he indulged himself in his hazy memories of his own suicide. He remembered the utter shock on Kokichi’s face, and the way he had screamed his name. He remembered Kokichi’s hands pressed against his gushing wound as life slowly faded around him. The warmth he felt enveloping his body, the panicked insults and desperate pleas that he still couldn’t quite make out.

Death wasn’t so scary when he was with someone. That suicide was the second time he died, and yet it had been so much less terrifying because he had been in Kokichi’s arms. That much he recalled at least.

Shuichi would give the world to be in Kokichi’s arms again. Kokichi had blood on his hands too, so even if he held Shuichi’s, his hands would not stain because they, too, were dirty.

At least Kokichi hadn’t used his own hands to end someone’s life. Simply his words.

Shuichi didn’t know if that made a difference.

“N…nyeh…?”

The dormitory doors had opened without his noticing, and he looked up to see Himiko frozen in the doorway, staring down at the bloody body.

“Shu…ichi…?” Himiko breathed in terror, slowly looking up at him. “What is… wh-why is there… s-s-so much blood on– on you…?”

The fear on her face made his stomach curl unpleasantly. He didn’t like seeing a person he considered a friend so terrified of him.

(He shared that same fear. His very hands had ended the life of someone who had been walking and speaking to the others no less than a few hours ago.

There was no one more afraid of Shuichi than he was of himself.

What would Kaito think of him now? Kaede?

What of his… uncle…?)

“Oh… Oh God!” Himiko stumbled several steps back, covering her hands with her mouth. “TSUMUGI!”

Shuichi couldn’t sit back and watch Himiko hyperventilate. He couldn’t listen to her horrified wails. He had to do something– couldn’t he try to reassure her?

“It– It’s okay,” Shuichi tried, going to stand from his position on the stairs. “She might come back! If this fails, the loop will restart, and she’ll be alive again!”

Himiko was staring at him in horror. “Wh-What are you talking about!? She’s dead! She– sh-she’s– why would you kill her!? Why would you do something so horrible!?”

“Because she’s the mastermind!” Shuichi desperately tried to tell her. “Killing the mastermind could end the time loop!”

“Time loop!?” Himiko cried in a mix of outrage and terror. “M-Mastermind!? What’s wrong with you!? Why would you do th–”

“Himiko!” The familiar voice of K1-B0 called from beyond the dormitory doors. “What is going– what in the–!?”

The minute he arrived, Himiko dove to hide behind K1-B0, tears brimming in her wide, brown eyes.

“Shuichi… did you…?” K1-B0 breathed, his gaze flicking between the body on the floor and Shuichi. “That knife… that blood! Please, don’t tell me you did this!”

“He tried to t-tell me that he’s in a time loop,” Himiko sobbed, burying her face in K1-B0’s shoulder. “And he– he said she’s the mastermind! He’s out of his mind!”

“We need Maki,” K1-B0 murmured with an urgent look up at her closed door. “Or Kaito, but I doubt Kokichi will release him.”

“I–I’ll go tell Kaito,” Himiko decided. “Maybe he’s already disabled Kokichi!”

“What!?” The startled robot tried to demand, but Himiko had already broken into a sprint, fleeing the scene as quickly as she could.

Frustration bubbled up in Shuichi’s chest, but he couldn’t find the will to try to defend himself. He already knew they wouldn’t believe him, and that was fine. There was such little chance of this stupid idea working in the first place.

I had to try.

This was doomed to fail.

I had to try. I couldn’t lie in bed and mope forever.

God damn it, Shuichi was so scared.

“Shuichi,” K1-B0 addressed him, as if he was trying to tame a wild animal. “I cannot fathom why you would do something like this, but… I’m sure we can work this out. Just please try to explain to me what drove you to do this…!”

“Do you remember what Monokuma said when Rantaro died?” Shuichi asked him quietly. His voice was quivering, betraying his own fear. It made him feel small. “H-He said that… if the mastermind were to die… the killing game would end. And I thought that if– m-maybe, if the killing game ends, the time loop would too. I had to try, because… because I hate being stuck like this. There’s no way out of this loop, and I hate it. I hate it so much.”

Alarm flashed in K1-B0’s eyes, but his next words were careful. “You think that killing Tsumugi would end the killing game…? But that would mean that you believe she is the mastermind.”

“Please, Keebo.” Shuichi stepped over the dead body, noticing with a pang in his heart how K1-B0 took a step back. “Please, believe me. I’m in a time loop. I just– I need someone to believe me. Please say you believe me!”

“I– I can’t lie to you, Shuichi,” K1-B0 stammered, lifting his hands innocently. “Time loops cannot exist, I’m sorry–”

“I never wanted to kill anyone!” he cried out desperately. It was no longer about the murder he committed. He needed someone, anyone, to comfort him in any way. “Would I have known she’s the mastermind if not for a time loop? Would I have killed her at all if this horrible time loop didn’t– didn’t change me? Would I be feeling this horrible… sickening despair if not for the time loop!?”

“You have to calm down!” K1-B0 shouted. He backed up every time Shuichi stepped closer, and now they were outside, the false stars overhead glittering their mockery down at him. “Shuichi, please come to your senses!”

I am! I HAVE come to my senses! I know there’s no way out even though I want there to be so badly!

“What the hell is going on?”

Maki.

She had come from the academy, a loaded crossbow in hand. Her eyes landed on Shuichi, widening in shock at his appearance.

“Maki!” K1-B0 shouted, not taking any notice of her weapon. “You are closest to Shuichi, are you not!? Get him to calm down and drop the knife!”

The… knife…?

Shuichi looked down at his hands. One was gripping the very thing that took that victim’s life so tightly it made his fingers ache. There was still blood on it, fresh and very pink.

“What did you do?” Maki demanded, lifting her crossbow loaded with one of those poisoned arrows and pointing it…

At… Shuichi…

Quickly, he willed his hand to release the knife, throwing it as far away from him as he could. He instinctively backed up, his breathing coming in short gasps. Maki was no longer the threat he was looking at– instead, it was the poison of her crossbow. The poison that’d steal his breath and kill his body over and over, and he’d never get the antidote in time to save himself just once–

“Maki! Wait!” exclaimed K1-B0. “I don’t think he is of his right mind!”

“What even happened!?” Maki snapped at the robot. “What’s wrong with Shuichi?”

K1-B0’s voice was thick with grief as he choked out, “Shuichi… killed Tsumugi. He’s been talking about a time loop and claiming that Tsumugi is the mastermind.”

Maki was stiff in shock. “Shuichi killed her?”

If she sees the body, it should trigger the announcement, Shuichi thought, throwing a look over his shoulder at the limp heap behind him. I might as well end this.

Maybe it’ll end the time loop.

Come on, you already know that won’t work.

“Her body is in the dormitory,” K1-B0 choked out. “I think Shuichi stabbed her in the throat.”

“You die quickly if you hit the right spot,” Shuichi confirmed shakily. “I–I’ve done it before. I made sure I hit the right spot! Death is actually really peaceful when you don’t come ba–”

“Shut up,” Maki snarled at him, making his jaw snap shut instantaneously. “Do you even realize what you’ve just done, Shuichi? You killed someone. I never thought you’d do something like that.”

I didn’t either. “Don’t you think I know that?” he cried, not even bothering to try to hide his grief. “I’m not like you, Maki. I’m not prepared for this kind of thing! I… I was just… I just want this to end. I’d do anything if time could move forward normally again!”

Maki’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Hold him down.”

Before Shuichi could even begin to process what she said, his face was being pressed into the ground and his hands were being restrained behind his back. He couldn’t help the agonized cry that erupted from his mouth as he felt a knee come down hard on his spine, sending shockwaves of pain through his entire body.

“Shuichi!” K1-B0 exclaimed in shock. “Maki, don’t hurt him–!”

“He’s clearly unstable,” Maki snapped, but she thankfully let up on the knee. “He needs to be restrained. Hold him down.”

Unstable? Restrained!? Did they really think he was that out of his mind? What he did was terrible, but he wasn’t going to hurt his friends!

No, that was a lie, wasn’t it? He had hurt his friends. There was no guarantee he wouldn’t hurt them in this loop, too.

Maki’s place on his back was replaced by K1-B0, whose grip was not as tight as Maki’s had been. He didn’t dare to try to struggle– things were bad enough as it was, and there was no way he was going to put himself in the way of Maki’s crossbow again. Even thinking about it made it feel as if that poison was really there, slowly choking him to death.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Maki vanish into the dormitory building. And moments later…

ding dong bing bong

The sound came from the nearby monitors, and despite knowing it would end this way, Shuichi couldn’t stop the pain in his chest, the despair of it all, from overwhelming him. He couldn’t help but cry.

–

There were still tears rolling down his cheeks when he saw his room again. Just like the body discovery announcement, the nighttime one was empty, as it always was.

Shuichi didn’t move from his spot. This type of crying was new to him– he didn't fold in on himself nor did he even reach up and try to wipe his tears away. They streamed endlessly from his sore eyes, and the only sound he made was the small hiccups and sharp breaths that came as his bottom lip trembled uncontrollably. He sniffled, trying to breathe in, and that only served to make it worse.

Had these time loops changed him that much that he couldn’t even properly cry? Had they really turned him into someone whose tears were quiet over the victim of his own crime?

He killed her. He stabbed her in the throat and watched the life pour out of her eyes, just as the blood had seeped out of the wound in her neck. He touched her body with his bare hands to place her at the bottom of the stairs.

Shuichi knew now that he had the capacity to kill someone.

The thought made him gag so hard he doubled over. He touched the corpse of the person he murdered so casually, even if it was only to move her a short distance.

She was the mastermind. She needed to die! It could have ended the time loop!

But it didn’t. And that’s the whole problem. At least Shuichi could have lived with the guilt knowing it was successful.

Why did I even try? Why am I so desperate for hope? Is it because despair feels so terrible? Or do I just hate that I gave up so fast?

Fuck. He was going to throw up.

What if that had been Kaito? He dared to close his eyes, the tears coming more fiercely now. What if I took Kaito’s life when I shot him? What if I killed Maki, or Koki?

…Kokichi…

–

After that, Shuichi could say it for certain. He wasn’t going to grasp at hope anymore. It got him nowhere in the end.

He thought that maybe, with enough time, this despair would become tolerable. He’d still be trapped in this time loop for eternity, but… at least it wouldn’t hurt as bad.

Maybe this is hell, he sometimes thought. Maybe this is my punishment… for what I did.

At first, he thought he had been referring to the man he sent to prison. Now he wasn’t so sure.

At least he killed for his sister. I killed because… what? I was desperate for… I don’t know. Maybe I just wanted some reason to try.

Being miserable was unbearable. But Shuichi must have done something to deserve this form of torture. Maybe all he had to do was atone for his mistakes and he would be free.

How he would do that, Shuichi hadn’t a clue.

–

Heat relentlessly beat down on him, and the sound of the ocean nonsensically filled his ears. The scent of sea salt assaulted his nose, and his cheek felt strangely scratchy.

All it took was for him to open his eyes to realize that, oh, I’m dreaming. Because Shuichi was lying in the sand on a tropical beach, the crystal blue ocean sparkling in the blinding sunlight.

It felt very real, Shuichi would admit that. The soft sand beneath him was warm when he pushed his palm down, dragging himself into a sitting position so he could look around more easily. There was a monitor on a palm tree nearby, and he thought he could see a bridge a little ways away, too.

What kind of dream is this? Shuichi wondered. I must be lucid dreaming. Maybe this is like some sort of escapism world so I don’t have to deal with the time loop. That’d be amazing.

Daring to let himself be encouraged by the thought, Shuichi stood up. His legs shook under his weight, and he briefly questioned how long it had been since he last used them. Since that loop happened where he… killed Tsumugi.

The scent of the ocean distracted his thoughts, and serenity suddenly made him feel lightheaded.

It didn’t matter if this was a dream. It didn’t matter if he deserved this kind of peace or not. It was something different! Finally, after so long of an emptiness worse than that of death, the heat of the sun filled him with–

“YOU!”

Shuichi whipped around to face the bearer of the voice, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process.

Monokuma threw up his paws, seething. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do!”

Chapter Text

“Breaking time was one thing, but now you’ve gone and glitched your way into this world!” Monokuma shouted, his voice dripping with unadulterated rage. “I can take responsibility for letting myself get caught like that, but you’ve got a lot to answer for as well!”

“What?” Shuichi couldn’t help but ask. Glitched my way into this world…?

“I haven’t been able to see anything that’s been happening,” Monokuma complained. “So I’m really outta the loop, pun not intended. And when I think I’ve finally got it, I’m back in the freakin’ Exisal circle! Those things were made to use against YOU freaks, not the other way around!”

Shuichi stiffened. “You know about the time loop…?”

“YEAH I know about the BLASTED TIME LOOP!” Monokuma roared, making him jump. “Why wouldn’t I know about it!? I’m the headmaster, and…” The bear let out a sigh of defeat. “...the current overseer of this program.”

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Shuichi admitted weakly. “Isn’t this a dream?”

Monokuma snorted. “Come on, everyone’s grown out of that plot twist by now, even if it is only sort of true. Remember Miu’s virtual reality?”

“No. This is a dream,” Shuichi insisted. He turned away from Monokuma, already walking towards the walking path he saw. “I’m dreaming.”

“Hey! I’m trying to explain things you’d really like to hear!” Monokuma shouted after him as he simply walked away.

I’m not doing this. This is a dream, and I’ve finally gotten away from the time loop. I’m never letting myself wake up from this. He didn’t want to hear whatever Monokuma had to say, as alarming as his words were– he didn’t want this reality to break. He finally felt alive again, even if only a little bit, and he didn’t want to let that go.

The fresh island wind brushed against his cheeks as he stepped onto the road. The bridge was huge, looming high in the air and leading to yet another island, which seemed far off. Looking around, he thought he could see an… was that an airplane? What on earth? As for his other side, he spotted a large fence surrounding… something. He didn’t know what.

Curiosity got the better of him and he followed the path towards that fence. He could see what looked like a lot of cottages built on top of some perfectly sparkling water.

“Shuichi! Hey! You’re the one in this mess and you’re getting us out! I thought you’d want to know all the secrets of this place, and now that I’m willing to give you them, you walk away?”

Don’t listen to him. Shuichi did his best to ignore Monokuma as he pushed through the gates, trying to focus on exploring. This place seemed peaceful– it seemed like paradise. This was so much better than rotting in bed all day.

Besides, it was Monokuma. He controlled the killing game. Why wouldn’t he want to see Shuichi in despair?

Based on a quick count, there were sixteen cottages in total, and the first mailbox he checked showed a small, pixel-styled head shot of somebody he didn’t recognize. Did someone live here? The island seemed empty now, so he doubted he had anyone to worry about.

That means… I’m alone.

A shiver ran down his spine as he thought of his friends. Where were they?

“Don’t you want to end the time loop?” Monokuma demanded once he caught up. “I can tell you how to do that, ‘cause I sure as hell don’t want to be here.”

“Then end it when you escape the Exisals,” Shuichi told him distractedly, cautiously approaching what seemed like a massive pool. Hotel Mirai?

“I would’ve done that by now if I could,” Monokuma griped. “But not only am I set to follow a specific script, I can’t do what needs to be done to end it.”

“Then you’re like me. There’s no ending it.”

“Yeesh! You got depressing really fast,” Monokuma commented as he continued walking. “What next? Are you gonna put back on the hat?”

“Do you have to follow me?” Shuichi grumbled, only stopping to glare down at the monochrome bear. “I tried to end the time loop and I failed. I don’t know what else you think I can do.”

“I’d be able to tell you if you’d listen to me. It’s not my fault despair made you annoyingly stubborn.”

Shuichi scoffed, turning on his heel.

“Alright, alright! Just hear me out, will ya?” Monokuma all but begged him. “I never would normally tell anyone this– especially not with seven of you left– but I can’t fix this time loop on my own. And if the time loop doesn’t end, the killing game is stuck in stasis, too.”

“Why would I want the killing game to continue?” Shuichi demanded incredulously. Being stuck in a time loop was torturous, but Shuichi would let himself suffer if it meant his friends wouldn’t stay dead. It was if they started remembering their deaths that he’d have a problem.

“Because the time loop would end,” Monokuma pointed out, his voice irritatingly matter-of-fact.

“But my friends would die,” Shuichi protested.

“Like they haven’t been already?”

Huffing, Shuichi turned and stormed towards the hotel building.

“I’m fine with living here alone if it means my friends aren’t dying,” Shuichi snapped over his shoulder. “I’m… okay with that.”

Monokuma growled in frustration. “This would be a lot easier if those NPCs were here… at least everyone liked them. Listen, are you really giving up that fast? I thought your whole thing was wanting out of the time loop. Well I’m offering you a way out!”

Shuichi never thought the day would come where Monokuma of all things would be trying to encourage him not to give up. However, this entire situation was already extremely strange, so his surprise was suspended.

A way out. Shuichi wanted nothing more than a way out of the time loop, but wasn’t this dream island the best he could get from that? Who’s to say that Monokuma wasn’t part of the dream in the first place? Maybe he represented Shuichi’s… sense of guilt or something.

He closed his eyes, trying to quell back his headache. Everything Monokuma had been spouting off about had made absolutely no sense, and he unfortunately couldn’t deny that he was curious.

It doesn’t matter anyway, does it?

“Okay.” Shuichi sighed, reluctantly turning back around to face the bear. “Okay… fine. Tell me everything.”

“Finally!” Monokuma exclaimed. “Alright, listen up. As far as I’m aware, the reason the time loop happened was because I didn’t know who the blackened was. And if I didn’t know who the blackened was, I wouldn’t be able to fairly judge the class trial. So when you triggered the body discovery announcement for the first time, everything… sort of broke.”

“Broke,” Shuichi repeated.

“That’s what we get for messing with the program so much,” Monokuma grumbled. “I mean, I didn’t do a thing. I’m just an NPC. Everything else was up to the team.”

“The… team?”

Monokuma lifted his paws to his mouth. “Whoops, spoilers. That’s not important right now, so don’t worry about it. What is important is that you know what you’re in, so figure it out! Chop chop!”

“I thought you were giving me the answers,” Shuichi pointed out dryly.

“I’m technically not allowed to do that,” admitted Monokuma, slumping dejectedly. “I shouldn’t be allowed to do this at all. You were never supposed to find out about this anyway, so all I can do is give you hints without outright telling you.”

Shuichi could live with that, he supposed. He was pretty sure he already had an idea, as insane as it sounded. Monokuma had mentioned “the program” multiple times now, and on the beach, he accused Shuichi of “glitching his way into this world”. Paired with the comment about Miu’s virtual world…

“...are you trying to tell me this is a virtual reality simulation?” Shuichi demanded. “Everything from the moment we woke up in those lockers… wasn’t real?”

“It’s as real as you want it to be,” was Monokuma’s casual reply. “You’re probably not interested in all the technical stuff, but all of your brains were hooked up to the map the team created to host the killing game. It’s called the Ark, made specially just for you sixteen.”

“The map…” Shuichi murmured. “Then, ah, where are we? What happened to the Ark– and my friends!? Where are my friends?”

“No idea!” Monokuma announced without a shred of reassurance. “This type of thing has never happened before, but they’re probably fine.”

“Probably!?”

“They’re connected to the Ark, so if we can reload that map, we can reload their avatars, too,” Monokuma told him. “All we have to do is reset the loop, and that should do it. Your avatar is also connected to the Ark, so the program should fix itself when the loop resets.”

Ohh, the headache. Shuichi thought it was bad when he was trying to solve Miu’s murder and he was dealing with the whole virtual world, but this was so much worse. The entire killing game being a simulation… felt unfathomable. Simply impossible. Yet Shuichi could think of no other logical reason something like a time loop would exist.

In fact, he realized that he was relieved he had an explanation for something so nonsensical. He couldn’t be called delusional if the time loop existed in something like a virtual simulation.

“Okay… so all I have to do is reset the loop and we can go back to the Ark,” Shuichi concluded. His gut twisted unpleasantly as subconsciously reached up to feel his neck. “All I have to do is kill myself, right?”

“Well… no.”

“No?”

“Even after you die, the loops will continue until a body discovery announcement plays, or until the nighttime announcement to the next day plays,” Monokuma explained, rubbing the back of his head the best he could with such stubby arms. “Since it’s just you here, there’s no one to trigger the body discovery announcement. You’d probably screw up the program even more than you already have.”

“How did I screw up the simulation?” Shuichi questioned, frantically shoving away the tempting thoughts of potentially permanent death. “I didn’t ask to be in a time loop. All I wanted was for it to end.”

“You had to have done something to destabilize the program,” Monokuma grumped. “I have no idea what you were doing in the loops where I couldn’t check the camera feed. It was one of the ones you ended without that morning body discovery announcement.”

One of the– oh. Oh no.

Shuichi was suddenly pretty sure what he was talking about.

“...okay, so how do we reset the loop?” Shuichi asked instead. He didn’t think he wanted to tell Monokuma he knew who the mastermind was, if Monokuma wasn’t already aware of that.

“I have a few ideas,” Monokuma mused. “We’d have to break the program even more, though. It requires utilizing the remnants of code left behind from the Hope Restoration Program. If we’re really lucky, we might even be able to revive those two.”

“...Hope Restoration Program?” Shuichi echoed under his breath. “Wait– who?”

“Long story short, a killing game was run in this program a pretty long time ago,” Monokuma said, as if it was something totally normal. “It was some sort of lame hope therapy thing, until I came in here and spiced things up a bit! But before I showed up, there were two overseers– one was a teacher, and one disguised herself as a student. They were there to make sure everyone didn’t start ripping each other apart or whatever… my memory’s a bit hazy on it, since I was reworked a bit for the Ark.”

“Hold on, hold on, hold on,” Shuichi stammered, his mind reeling. “Killing game? Overseers? What?”

Monokuma sighed. “Some Future Foundation loons threw the Class 77 Remnants of Despair into the Hope Restoration Program to try to undo their brainwashing and the big baddie Izuru Kamukura brought in a virus– me– to start up a killing game.”

Remnants of Despair! Some of Kokichi’s fellow Remnants of Despair also took part in a killing game? Also, who and what was “Class 77”? Did they have some sort of significance as Remnants of Despair?

“Okay… then what about the overseers?” Shuichi asked. “A teacher and a student. What about them?”

“The teacher was some rabbit called Usami,” Monokuma growled, as if even saying that name caused him physical harm. “And the student was the Ultimate Gamer, a girl named Chiaki Nanami. I don’t think they’d be hanging around after all the tampering that was done to the program, but if the Jabberwock Island map is still here, then I guess they could be, too.”

Usami, Chiaki Nanami, and Jabberwock Island… That was quite a bit to take in, but Shuichi was pretty sure he had a fair idea of what exactly was going on now.

“I think I understand, but why do we need to revive them?” Shuichi inquired slowly.

“If I can change the rules to include teachers in the body discovery announcement, then we can reset the loop that way,” Monokuma told him simply. “But since there’s a pretty low chance of that happening, we’ll have to try plan A, and that’s trying to glitch out the program by triggering the body discovery announcement for one of the previous murders. Those parts on the map are given a separate script of code to trigger the announcement automatically, so that’s our best bet.”

“That… doesn’t sound very reliable.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you went and broke the map!” Monokuma barked at him. “The morning and nighttime announcements don’t work here, so this is the best we’ve got! We’ll reset the loop, and then you’ll have to fix the program and we can continue everything like normal.”

As much as the thought of working with Monokuma displeased him, Shuichi didn't have much else of a choice. If Monokuma was right and there was a way to end the time loop… then Shuichi was sure he could find a way to make sure no murders happened ever again. He could end the loop and save his friends, he was confident.

Energy was buzzing at his fingertips, and the darkness that had been clouding his mind was receding. Beyond that darkness was an all-too familiar light, just out of reach but not impossible to grasp. 

Hope. Shuichi was being given another chance.

“Alright. How do I stop the time loop?” Shuichi asked Monokuma determinedly.

Monokuma’s otherwise unsettling grin sharpened. “About time you took this seriously. Alright, listen up…”

There were five places Shuichi could go to in hopes of glitching a body discovery announcement into existence. One of those five places was inaccessible to him, so he was left with only four locations to visit, one on almost every island.

The first was very close to the hotel– an old, abandoned building. Stepping inside immediately sent a cold chill down his spine, all of his instincts screaming at him to turn away and leave.

“Why is something like this on a tropical island?” Shuichi asked Monokuma as he forced his feet forward. The bear was following close behind him, providing company (as much as Shuichi felt bad about finding companionship in Monokuma).

Monokuma shrugged animatedly. “Heck if I know. It was based after the real Jabberwock Island, so you’ll have to take it up with those guys.”

“The real Jabberwock Island?” Shuichi echoed. It sounds sort of familiar… but I can’t put my finger on it.

“You know how hard it is to sneak onto that island?” Monokuma huffed. Before Shuichi could ask what that was supposed to mean, the robot suddenly waddled forward, straining to open a pair of doors. “In here!”

Skin prickling with uncertainty, Shuichi cautiously made his way into the room.

The first thing he noticed was the iron plates bolted over what he assumed were meant to be windows. It was so out of place with the otherwise wooden structure that it momentarily startled him, but what surprised him even more were the thick chains discarded on the floor.

“Huh. I would’ve thought those would’ve been cleaned up,” Monokuma commented when he saw them. “Unless it’s the program freaking out still… hey, try touching them!”

“I… kind of don’t want to,” Shuichi said, lifting his hands and backing up a step. He had no idea what those chains had been used for and he was a little afraid to know.

“What if I explode when I touch them?” Monokuma shot back indignantly.

Shuichi blanched. “Wha– can that happen!?”

“No idea! But if we find out, you’re gonna be screwed. Now be a man and touch the chains!”

I am a man. I don’t want to prove that by touching what could be a murder weapon.

He kept these thoughts to himself, knowing there was no use in arguing with Monokuma. With a sigh of defeat, he slowly edged forward, bending down and hesitantly outstretching a hand.

The minute his finger brushed against it, the entire thing flickered, followed by a sharp, pricking pain in his fingertip. He yelped, jerking backwards at the same time as the chain disappeared. It didn’t fade, or faze out of existence, it just straight up vanished. One moment it was there, and the next it was gone.

That was… a lot more unnerving in action than he thought it’d be.

“Wh–What was that?” Shuichi demanded urgently, whipping his head to the side to stare at Monokuma. “Why was that here?”

“I told you, everything from this killing game is a little hazy,” Monokuma reminded him. “I’m pretty sure someone was held hostage here, though. I remember him being kind of a nutjob.”

“Ah…” Shuichi nodded, not quite sure what to say to that. If the people who took part in the previous killing game were Remnants of Despair, it made sense that they’d be a little… chaotic. “Well, okay. Anyway, the announcement hasn’t played yet.”

Monokuma jabbed a white paw towards one of the tables with a white cloth that draped all the way down to the floor. “Check under that one. That’s where the body of the Ultimate Imposter was found!”

Shuichi suddenly really, really hoped he wasn’t about to find an actual corpse.

Bracing himself for a second time, Shuichi let out a nervous breath and slowly lifted the tablecloth with one hand. His heart was pounding as he pulled it back enough to see under the table, awful images of his friend’s bodies all flashing through his mind.

The floor being entirely clean was enough to let him to exhale, clutching his chest as he felt the tablecloth fall again. Thank God.

“Glitch failed…” Monokuma announced sadly. “Drats! If we had the Ultimate Gamer here, she could probably sniff out any glitches like a bloodhound.”

“What are the chances Chiaki and Usami are still somewhere around here?” Shuichi asked the bear, trying to calm his racing heart.

“Little to none,” was Monokuma’s immediate response. “I blew up most of the Usami and I crushed Chiaki with a giant Tetris block.”

“Wh-Why would you do that!?” Shuichi demanded in horror. Realization struck him mere moments later, making him stiffen. “Ah, wait… she was executed, wasn’t she?”

“I’ve never had more fun in an execution than I did there,” Monokuma admitted gleefully. “Well, this place was a bust. Let’s move on to the second island, if it hasn’t glitched its way into the bottom of the ocean. That place is reeeally unstable…”

“Is it safe?” Shuichi questioned as Monokuma led the way out of the abandoned building.

“Probably not! The map was breaking even before the conclusive class trial, so there’s no telling how screwed up it is now.”

That was perfectly concerning, but Shuichi supposed he didn’t have much of a choice. He needed to get back to the Ark to end the time loop.

Funny how ending the time loop had become a secondary goal when that was what his life had circulated around for however long it had been in real-time.

The second island wasn’t as far as a walk as it was probably meant to be, and the minute they arrived, Shuichi could immediately see what Monokuma meant by it being unstable. At least the first island had felt real to an extent– stepping onto the second island was equivalent to Miu’s virtual world, but about ten times more disconcerting and making him even more motion sick. Turning his head too fast made everything blur, taking a few moments too long to refocus to be natural, and also all levels of temperature and natural wind had entirely vanished.

In short, Shuichi did not like being on this island. He wanted off right now.

“Let’s head on over to the beach house,” Monokuma told him, not seeming to feel anything wrong with this island. “That’s where the second murder occurred.”

Not having the heart to speak, Shuichi nodded. Whatever got him off this island the fastest.

The beach house was an interesting sight. There was a bloody bat discarded on the ground and a lot of empty water bottles in a bin that Monokuma pointed out. The bat disappeared again when Shuichi touched it, but doing so made him black out for a solid seven seconds, so he decided not to touch anything else for the duration of this trip.

Overall, the second island was inconclusive. That was fine, Shuichi thought– there were still two more islands to go.

The third island wasn’t as broken as the second, but it certainly didn’t feel any better. The crime scene was apparently a music venue called “Titty Typhoon”, and the only thing that really stood out to him was the strange black curtain that didn’t seem to fit the backdrop. Aside from being really hot, there was nothing else to see there, and it was once again a failure.

Shuichi was still fanning himself with his hand as he and Monokuma arrived back on the central island, relief flooding through him as a cool breeze brushed his cheeks.

“Just one more,” said Monokuma. “If any of them are gonna work, it’s this one.”

“Then why didn’t we start with that one?” Shuichi demanded in what he was finding to be common exasperation. Dealing with Monokuma for more than a few minutes was a headache in itself, let alone traversing islands with him.

“‘cause seeing your reactions to everything was funny,” Monokuma told him honestly. “Also, I was trying to see if we’d find Chiaki or Usami. I don’t want to be here any more than you do.”

But if there’s such a low chance of finding them, why look at all? Shuichi wondered.

Trying to figure out Monokuma’s motivations was like asking for a migraine though, so Shuichi only sighed and carried on.

Compared to the Ark, Jabberwock Island was significantly larger. Shuichi had to take note of the lack of Ultimate Research Labs, which he figured must be unique to his own class’ killing game.

If Remnants of Despair came here for rehabilitation, I don’t see why they’d need to hone their talents. Shuichi had yet to figure out why he and his friends had been put into a killing game, but all answers would come in due time, he figured.

The fifth island was a complete shift in theme. Contrary to the fun and natural colors of the other islands, this island was almost entirely gray. Shuichi couldn’t help but cringe stepping onto it– how did an island like this contribute to rehabilitation? If he were sent here for therapy, he’d probably feel even more depressed.

“This case was a hell of a ride,” Monokuma was reminiscing as he led the way down the path. “It was like Kokichi’s little trick murder, except he was using it against his classmates and not me. He also blew up the hotel which was pretty annoying to fix.”

Shuichi almost tripped over his own feet. “Blew up– why did these people have access to explosives!?”

“It’s not like you guys don’t!” Monokuma shot back. “It’s just that you’re all boring and don’t use them.”

That was news to Shuichi! We have explosives at the Ark!?

“Where?” Shuichi asked.

“Some in Miu’s lab, one or two in Maki’s… I think there’s a few in the warehouse, too,” Monokuma listed nonchalantly. “Why, you planning to use one?”

“Of course not!” he exclaimed, glaring down at the robot. “I was just surprised we had any at all.”

“Well once this time loop is fixed, you should make use of some of them,” Monokuma suggested. “Imagine the Ultimate Detective being the blackened! That’d be a twist.”

Shuichi had already killed someone once, and it wasn’t an experience he wanted to repeat. Even just thinking about blood was making his lungs constrict.

“You won’t convince me to kill anyone,” Shuichi told him firmly. “I’ll end the killing game before it comes to that.”

“Sure,” Monokuma waved him off dismissively, as if he didn’t believe him in the slightest. “Anyway, here it is! Head into that warehouse over there.”

The warehouse was next to what seemed to be some sort of plushie factory. While that sounded much more pleasant than a warehouse, Shuichi could feel the waves of wrong rolling off of its open door. His feet planted themselves in place, preventing him from moving any further. He hadn’t even entered the building and he already felt lightheaded with complete and utter dread.

If I’m feeling this way… it might work, Shuichi reasoned with himself. Hope that this map or whatever it’s called is broken enough to trigger the body discovery announcement, and go back to the Ark to stop the time loop.

That was a lot easier said than done, though. Shuichi felt nauseous simply looking at the warehouse.

“You mentioned a team earlier,” Shuichi said to Monokuma. “What are the chances they can stop the time loop…?”

Much to his surprise, Monokuma was quiet. He had been talking non-stop ever since they got here, and what he couldn’t answer he openly admitted to. This was the first time he paused at a question.

“...to tell you the truth,” said Monokuma, sounding surprisingly hesitant. “I don’t think we’re being monitored anymore.”

“M…Monitored?”

“The program has been looping for a while now.” Monokuma let its shoulders fall, and for only the briefest moment, Shuichi could sympathize with his helplessness. “If anyone was watching us, they would’ve fixed it the first time it happened. I don’t really know what happened out there, but it’s safe to say no one outside is gonna help us.”

So the “team” left…? Why? Where did they go? If they went through the effort of creating an entire virtual reality for us, why would they abandon it soon after? That doesn’t make any sense…

Their leaving has caused a lot of problems for us, tho–

…”us”?

When did he start thinking of Monokuma as if they were a team?

While they did share the same goal– to end the time loop– they had fundamentally different reasons for doing so. Shuichi wanted to end the time loop to save his friends and stop the killing for good. He had possession of so much valuable information, things that he could use to end the killing game. That was what he wanted to do most of all; it was Tsumugi herself who told him to use the time loops to his advantage, and oh, he would do exactly that. He had had his time to wallow in despair– now it was time for him to actually do something.

On the contrary, Monokuma wanted to end the time loop for the exact opposite reason Shuichi had. He wanted, needed, time to progress to further continue the killing game. His killing game ceased to function if no one stayed dead, after all. In fact, Shuichi would go as far as to assume that he didn’t even want to work with Shuichi in this situation– he was simply Monokuma’s last resort, since the bear himself was also stuck in the time loop with much less freedom than Shuichi had.

Ever since the very start of the killing game, Monokuma held significant power over Shuichi and all of his friends. This was not a partnership to end the time loop– this was Monokuma using Shuichi to get the killing game functioning again.

Shuichi couldn’t let his own loneliness trick him.

He looked back at the warehouse. It was as if a dark, oppressing aura surrounded the place, urging anyone in its vicinity to run as far as possible. Shuichi was almost impressed with how foreboding it was.

“I’ll end the time loop,” Shuichi promised. “And the killing game. I won’t let anyone else kill each other.”

Monokuma didn’t appear worried. “Puhuhu… we’ll see.”

That was a conversation for later. Shuichi soothed over his nerves with thoughts of saving his friends and willed his feet forward, closer and closer to the terrifying building. If Monokuma was right and this would glitch a body discovery announcement into playing, then Shuichi would be able to carry out their plan. He would be able to carry out his plan.

Body shaking uncontrollably, Shuichi forced himself onwards, entering the smothering atmosphere of the warehouse. He couldn’t tell if it was difficult to breathe because the air felt thick, or because of the building panic in his chest, but that was no reason to turn back now.

“Everything’s still here,” Monokuma observed while Shuichi’s eyes were still adjusting to the darkness. “Since I never cleaned up, this still should be registered as a crime scene."

Shuichi turned his glare down at the robot. “Then why did we go to the other four crime scenes?”

“I don’t like repeating myself,” Monokuma told him instead of giving him an actual answer.

At this point, Shuichi was convinced he was simply trying to waste time. All he could do at this point was roll his eyes in exasperation and keep moving forward.

When he saw what was at the back of the warehouse, he stumbled, an unbearable shudder wracking his limbs.

There was no dead body for him to find. Instead, it was everything around it that made him feel sick.

Blood stained the ground, albeit looking days old. There were four ropes connected to four pillars in each corner of the room, all leading to the very center of the room. A massive, corded spear lay motionlessly over that bloodstain, and the lack of a body was what allowed Shuichi’s vivid imagination to run wild.

What… happened here…?

“Huh…?”

Shuichi whirled around.

ding dong bing bong

Those bells were so different from the Ark’s, broken and distorted, but Shuichi’s eyes were locked on the hazy figure in the doorway. He couldn’t make her out completely, but although sounding distant, her voice was soft and unintimidating.

Shuichi had about five seconds to think, Chiaki Nanami…? before a headache worse than anything he had ever felt in his entire life slammed into him like a freight train.

–

This was worse than when he died that first time. It was so much worse. It was as if an icepick was being driven through his skull, pushing further and further and then going deeper even when it shouldn’t be able to.

It took him a while to realize he was on the ground, curled up on his side and clutching his head. His eyes ached like nothing he’d felt before, as if they were trying to pop out of their sockets. The tears he was shedding certainly did not help.

What he wanted to know was where this migraine had come from. Was it seeing someone who shouldn’t still exist? Was it because of the loops jerking him from map to map, in and out of the more stable parts of the simulation? Or was everything catching up to him all at once?

Shuichi didn’t know. All he could think was it hurts.

It hurts so bad.

–

The gun is in the warehouse. It’s quite well hidden, buried behind many boxes. No one would find it if they weren’t really looking for it.

Maybe that is why Shuichi was able to find it in the first place; because he wanted to. The warehouse had always been strange like that.

Once he recovered from his agonizing headache enough to move, his first action had been to tear apart the warehouse in search for those bombs Monokuma mentioned. He had to determine whether the bear had been telling the truth or not– after all, having bombs lying around was a massive threat. When Shuichi got time moving normally again, there was no telling what might happen. Shuichi needed to make sure his friends would be safe.

That last loop had been used to gauge his resources; the gun, the bomb, ropes and the antidote to Strike-9 and even a few other very, very interesting things. This is the loop where he’d take action.

Deja vu had become a friend to Shuichi over the course of these time loops, and it held his hand as he made his way through those familiar halls. This would be his last time ever visiting the Exisal hangar, thank god.

Shuichi never wanted to come back here again.

And I never will. This plan would work no matter what Shuichi had to do.

To end the time loop, and the killing game.

The cockpit to the Exisal wasn’t even open yet when he arrived, and he was grateful for his quick arrival. Both Kaito and Kokichi shared bewildered expressions, momentarily frozen in shock. 

Maki appeared quickly from the Exisal, but Kokichi hadn’t moved for the remote; his head had snapped towards Shuichi. This was his chance.

“WAIT!” Shuichi shouted as loud as he could. “Everyone, please stop!”

Red, purple and violet eyes locked onto him, and he moved further into the hangar, moving cautiously. Maki and Kokichi were his biggest threats, Maki with her crossbow and Kokichi with the Exisal remote. Shuichi needed to disarm Kokichi, and fast.

“Sh–Shuichi!?” Kaito gaped at him in shock. “You’re here, too?”

“Don’t you move,” Shuichi snapped at Kokichi, whose hand had been creeping towards his pocket. “I need you all to listen to everything I say! Please, I don’t want to have to use force.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Maki asked, glowering dangerously at him.

“What force would you use?” Kokichi scoffed. “Are you gonna give us a speech on friendship and magic?”

“No.” Shuichi revealed the gun he had kept hidden behind his back, pointing it at Kokichi. “I will shoot all of you.”

The look of simultaneous horror, alarm and confusion on his friend’s faces hurt. Shuichi hated having to do this again, but it wasn’t like last time! He was fully sound of mind and he had a legitimate strategy. He had no intention on shooting anyone except himself if this went awry.

This will work. Shuichi knew that like how he knew the sky was blue. I won’t give up again! Monokuma gave me more than what he probably meant to– a plan is one thing, but he also gave me a valuable weapon. 

Information and hope.

There was no time to wonder about anything else now. Jabberwock Island, who might’ve been Chiaki Nanami, the previous contestants of the past killing game… Shuichi could figure that all out later. What mattered the most at this very moment was carrying out his and Monokuma’s plan. A plan meant to end the time loop.

And a plan Shuichi would twist to break out of the simulation.

Chapter Text

This was not the ideal situation to be in, Kokichi would admit.

It was bad enough when Kaito suddenly grew a pair, having summoned a crossbow out of the god damn abyss, and decided to attack him under the guise of wanting to “disarm him”. As annoying and painful it was (why did a tiny little crossbow arrow hurt so much!?), Kokichi could deal with it. Being ambidextrous had its perks, because Kokichi could easily use the Exisal remote with his other hand and toss Kaito back into the bathroom. It would be that easy! All he needed to do was get a second away from Kaito, who was annoyingly persistent.

But then. Then.

Oh, you would not believe what happened next.

In came an Exisal, one he had not called to his aid, through the shutter. At least Kaito had stopped trying to attack him, but now the both of them had frozen to gawk at the Exisal in shock. Kaito was surprised because, you know, Exisal. Kokichi was surprised because he couldn’t figure out where the fuck that thing had come from.

Everything he had been wondering was answered for less than seven seconds as he watched that stupid, goo-goo eyed assassin pop out of the cockpit. He thought, that checks out, before their SECOND star guest decided to show himself.

It was SHUICHI SAIHARA, with a bag slung over his shoulder for some reason. Could people stop invading the hangar for TWO. SECONDS. Kokichi was very prideful, but that wouldn’t stop him from admitting that dealing with the certified “training trio” or whatever they had going on in their stupid three-way make-out dynamic.

(Maybe he was being a little dramatic. He wasn’t sure what Shuichi felt towards Kaito besides being okay with following him around like a lost puppy. It was the selfish, more squishy and emotional part of him that really hoped Shuichi had eyes only for him.

It was unlikely. Shuichi would never love him back in the way Kokichi liked him, especially not after the stunt he had pulled with the mastermind and kidnapping his best friend. That didn’t stop Kokichi from daydreaming, though.)

Dramatic or not, this was absolutely ridiculous.

Kaito seemed to think so too, because if he hadn’t been surprised at Maki’s appearance, he sure was at Shuichi’s. “Sh–Shuichi? You’re here too!?”

God. Damn it. Kokichi’s eyes flicked towards Maki, who was now focused on the detective. This might be his only chance to flip the situation in his favor. All he had to do was grab the Exisal remote–

“Don’t you move,” Shuichi growled at him specifically, making him freeze in his tracks. 

He didn’t know what was wrong with Shuichi’s voice, but it wasn’t Shuichi. Shuichi could raise his voice; he could shout, he could cry, he could regard Kokichi with icey anger and spit vile words at him. But he wasn’t ever like this. His voice wasn’t supposed to be layered with so many levels of cunning and deceit. There was a plan at his detective’s fingertips, and it scared Kokichi that he had no idea what it could be.

“I need you all to listen to everything I say!” Shuichi shouted with an unusual air of authority, throwing his visible hand out. His other hand was hidden behind his back, furthering Kokichi’s anxiety. “Please, I don’t want to have to use force!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Maki demanded coldly. This was one of those rare moments that Kokichi shared her sentiment.

“What force would you use?” Kokichi snorted. As strange as Shuichi was acting, it would be a chilly day in hell before he started hurting people. Also, Kokichi’s arm hurt. He deserved to be a bit of a dick. “Are you gonna give us a speech on magic and friendship?”

“No.”

Shuichi’s other hand held a gun.

A gun he was pointing right at Kokichi.

Kokichi had never faced down the barrel of a gun before. His blood instinctively ran cold, rooting his feet in place. It wasn’t like him to freeze in the face of danger, but in this case, that face was Shuichi. Kind, caring, empathetic Shuichi, whose fear of the truth intrigued Kokichi to no end.

Shuichi, the only one who chased after Kokichi.

Shuichi, whose hands were very cold.

“I will shoot all of you.” Shuichi’s expression had drained of all emotion, and yet the edge to his voice threw Kokichi off completely. What was he–?

“Is that… a gun!?” Kaito shouted in horror, stumbling several steps back.

“Where did you get that?” Maki demanded. If even she was surprised, then yeah, they’re doomed.

“Does it matter?” Shuichi pointed out. “Maki, leave the crossbow in the Exisal and get down from there.”

Maki’s eyes narrowed into challenging slits.

Much to Kokichi’s simultaneous relief and consternation, Shuichi diverted the gun's direction towards Kaito, who inhaled so sharply Kokichi was surprised his lungs didn’t collapse then and there.

“I’ll do it,” Shuichi warned her in an ominous whisper. Kokichi stiffened as he saw Shuichi’s finger tense on the trigger, as if he were teasing the assassin. “Get down.”

Maki swiveled the crossbow towards Shuichi, her entire body tense. For the first time, Kokichi could see panic flaring in her eyes. “Do you want to die?”

Kaito was pale, his hands shaking slightly. “Come on, Shuichi. You wouldn’t really shoot me, would y–”

BANG

Kokichi’s hands flew to his ears, his heart almost flying out of his chest. Kaito shouted in horror as well, but from the looks of it, the bullet hadn’t hit him. Shuichi had simply shot the ground by his feet.

Fuck– what the fuck!? Holy crap, he might actually be willing to shoot us! What the hell is wrong with him!?

“You–” Maki seethed, but she cut herself off as Shuichi diverted the gun back towards Kaito’s chest.

“Maki,” Shuichi said coolly. “Please. Put the crossbow down, and get out of the Exisal. Please.”

Now Kokichi was just flat out confused. He watched as Maki threw down the crossbow, where it clattered against the floor uselessly. She climbed out of the Exisal, glaring at Shuichi the entire time. Shuichi didn’t meet her gaze– he was looking at her, yes, but avoiding eye contact.

Kokichi… really could not get a grasp of Shuichi’s motives. He was talking nice, although assertive, and he was being as patient as he usually was outside of this situation. Despite that, his eyes told him that there was so much more going on beneath the surface– he almost shot Kaito, and although he purposefully missed, there was no remorse on his face. He didn’t even look satisfied at Maki’s cooperation.

In fact, Shuichi looked as if he had been expecting her reaction.

“Thank you,” Shuichi sighed in relief. “We’re doing it differently this time, and I won’t shoot anyone as long as you listen, okay? I’m not planning to hurt any of you. I just need to make sure you don’t hurt each other. I know it will take a while to convince you two that Kokichi isn’t the mastermind, so, ah… we’re doing it this way now.”

Kokichi’s throat was dry. He knows about that…?

“What the fuck is he talking about?” Kaito whispered with a side glare at Kokichi.

“Kokichi.” Shuichi pointed at the dormant red Exisal with his free hand. “Can you control that with the remote?”

“Nope! The remote is totally powerless,” Kokichi lied before he could think the better of it. From the warning look Kaito shot him, he knew that the astronaut knew he was lying, too.

That look might be what gave him away, because Shuichi frowned.

“Kaito, Maki. Can you go into the bathroom?” Shuichi requested, tilting his head in the direction of the open door. “I’m going to lock you in there, but it’s only for the rest of the night. I promise.”

“Shuichi, what has gotten into you, man?” Kaito boldly demanded. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you doing this…?”

“If you wanted to stop me, you didn't have to bring a gun,” Maki added. “Much less a real one.”

At that, a strange wave of darkness washed over Shuichi’s face. “I tried that, and it didn’t work. I died anyway. But that’s not important. What is is that we don’t waste any time! How about this? If you two don’t go to the bathroom right now, I will shoot Kaito and myself.”

“It’s no use arguing,” Kokichi pointed out as he saw Kaito’s mouth open. “He’s a lunatic with a gun. Besides, he said he’d let you two out later, anyway.”

He never said what he was going to do to me, Kokichi didn’t say. He didn’t doubt that Shuichi would shoot him faster than he could grab the Exisal remote, but that only meant he’d have to find an opening later.

“He won’t hurt anyone if we listen,” Maki begrudgingly agreed. “...come on, Kaito.”

“But–” Kaito tried, quickly being cut off as Maki grabbed his wrist.

Kokichi could only watch as Maki practically dragged the astronaut to the bathroom. She shoved him in before following afterwards, turning around to glare at Shuichi from the doorway. He could only imagine how angry Kaito was about being held hostage in the bathroom again.

“Kokichi.” He looked at the detective as his name was said, instinctively tensing. “Can you move the red Exisal to block the bathroom door? Preferably to keep it from opening at all?”

“Why would I want to do that?” Kokichi asked dryly. He didn’t want Maki and Kaito to know he was affected in any way by this.

“Because I’ll shoot you if you don’t,” Shuichi replied with extremely uncharacteristic confidence.

Kokichi huffed. “This is manipulation, Shuichi. I thought you were above that.”

“Would you rather I shoot myself?” Shuichi demanded, swiveling the gun around to point at his own head.

Better me than you. “Yes, actually. Because then I wouldn’t have to shoot you myself.”

“If anyone dies, the killing game will start again,” Shuichi reminded him oh-so helpfully. “I know you don’t want that, and Kokichi, I will use that against you as many times as I have to until you listen to me. Last chance. Block the door.”

“Just do it!” Kaito unexpectedly shouted at him from the open doorway. “I don’t care if you’re the mastermind or not, you can’t let Shuichi kill himself. Block the damn door!”

“Do it before I change my mind and throttle you both,” Maki agreed darkly.

As inclined as Kokichi felt to not listen to two of his least favorite people ever, he did agree that he didn’t want Shuichi dead. He had no idea just how unstable Shuichi was right now, and he didn’t want to risk bearing witness to a suicide because he pushed his limits too far.

The most he could do to voice his irritation was roll his eyes, digging into his pocket and pointing the Exisal remote at the red one. He had had quite a bit of practice with this thing by now, having nothing else to do in the hangar all day, so he could easily steer it towards the bathroom. Maki slammed shut the door when it stood upright, which made his job a whole lot easier.

Shuichi, as much as I love you, I am going to get you back for this humiliation, Kokichi silently vowed. He did not like being told what to do, and he certainly didn’t like being forced to obey those orders. It was even worse because Maki and Kaito had encouraged him to listen, ugh. This sucked.

Deciding to set his frustration aside for now, Kokichi sat the Exisal down in front of the bathroom door, its long, thin tail curling up and blocking pretty much the entire door. There was very little chance that either of those two were getting out now.

But why would he want to trap them? Kokichi wondered, turning his gaze back towards Shuichi, who, much to his alarm, was approaching him.

“Thanks. You can keep the remote,” Shuichi said, his voice significantly softer now. He sounded so much more like his usual self. “...as long as you don’t try anything with it.”

“I’m not a toddler. You don’t have to tell me what to do,” Kokichi muttered unhappily, roughly shoving the remote back into his pocket. Now that they didn’t have an audience, he was okay with letting a fragment of his composure slip. “So, did you finally hit your breaking point or something? I never took you as the holding people hostage type, Shuichi. And what’s the bag for? You gonna strangle me with it?”

Shuichi frowned slightly. “I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.”

“Unless I try anything funny, right?” Kokichi challenged, his smile feeling strained. “Then you’ll shoot me.”

“I’ll shoot myself,” Shuichi corrected him. “Threats against you won’t work, so I’ll use myself as leverage.”

Kokichi was really not liking how Shuichi was acting right now. He grinded his teeth, consciously swallowing down the colorful curse words he wanted to spit out. He was hurting and angry and extremely confused. Did taking away Kaito have such bad repercussions on Shuichi’s mental well-being that he totally spiraled? Did Kaito even deserve this level of devotion?

No. If he wanted to save Kaito, he wouldn’t have locked him and Maki up, Kokichi shot himself down quickly. So what is his plan here…?

“I grabbed the bag because I couldn’t carry everything I needed,” Shuichi went on to explain. “It was tiring, running all over the school.”

The gun still poised towards Kokichi, Shuichi unbuttoned his bag and dug into it, soon pulling out what he had been looking for.

It was… a water bottle.

“What is that?” Kokichi asked. Why is the water so cloudy?

“I’ll tell you after you drink it,” Shuichi promised quietly, passing the bottle over to him.

Kokichi reluctantly accepted the bottle, squinting at its contents. There was no way this thing wasn’t drugged. The worst part was that he couldn’t tell if Shuichi was trying to be sneaky about it or not.

“Then allow me to drink this totally inconspicuous and not-at-all poisoned water,” Kokichi declared slowly, making sure every word was infused with as much sarcasm as he could physically muster.

Shuichi sighed. “It’s not poisoned. Do you really think… I would poison you…?”

“You are threatening to kill us, Shuichi,” Kokichi snapped. He took a moment to recompose himself, smoothing over his voice of any emotion. “I don’t know what to do with you. I can’t tell if you’re trying to up-play my evilness or if you just got bored of being nice all the time. Y’know, I really thought you’d learned your lesson with Kaede.”

For the briefest moment, a look of horrified hurt flashed across Shuichi’s expression, and Kokichi knew at that moment he may have crossed a line. Yes, what a wonderful idea it was to antagonize the mentally unstable guy waving around a loaded firearm. What a stroke of genius on Kokichi’s part.

That hurt suddenly transformed into something unreadable even to Kokichi, and he wasn’t sure why, but he felt his heart stutter in fear. He had never seen Shuichi make such an expression, and it was making Kokichi feel small; smaller than he already was.

“Kokichi, you will drink that water or I will make you,” Shuichi told him in barely a whisper. He leaned close, and it took all of Kokichi’s willpower to not move. “Kaede died because she had no chance of possibly hitting the real mastermind. It…” He trailed off, his brows knitting in thought, before his gaze sharpened once more. “...doesn’t… matter. Not right now.”

Kokichi’s blood ran cold as the edge of the gun was pressed against his forehead.

“I am fulfilling Kaede’s wish. I will get everyone out of here,” Shuichi promised lowly. “And I mean everyone. So drink–” he seized Kokichi’s bandana in a tight grip, “–the damn water, before I make you.”

Kokichi’s voice was nothing more than a whisper as he breathed, “okay.”

Much to his relief, Shuichi released him, and he scooted back as quickly as he could. Fuck, Shuichi was scary.

It’s definitely drugged, Kokichi thought as he hesitantly inspected the bottle. With what, though? If it’s not poison, is he trying to knock me out? Why? Why not just kill me?

Unless he’s leaving me vulnerable for the true mastermind. He definitely knows who it is.

Kokichi wasn’t sure how he could willingly drink drugged water, but he was an asshole, not an idiot. He knew when to quit pushing somebody.

Trying to beat down whatever emotions threatened to surface, Kokichi slowly unscrewed the cap. Shuichi was watching him patiently, his gaze feeling overbearing as Kokichi lifted the bottle to his mouth. He had the impulsive urge to dump the water out, but that would get somebody shot very fast and he was kind of expecting Shuichi to just whack him upside the head anyway.

It was terrifying how simple it was to seal his fate. He steeled his nerves and brought the bottle to his lips, tilting his head back as he downed the entire thing. Overkill? Yes. But at least Shuichi would feel bad if he overdosed and died or something.

(Shuichi was telling the truth when he said he’d he wasn’t going to hurt anyone. That’s what was scaring Kokichi so bad.)

By the time he was finished, he coughed, reaching up to wipe his chin clean. He tossed the now empty water bottle to the side, internally fuming at his gross helplessness and also angry that it was Shuichi who was doing this to him.

“It’s only sleeping drugs,” Shuichi informed him as he caught his breath. “You can find a lot of stuff in the warehouse. Ah… maybe that’s just how it was programmed…?”

Programmed? Sleeping drugs!? “I drank your stupid bottle, so now what? Are you gonna auction me off?”

“Um… no?” Shuichi blinked at him in faint confusion, before he reached into his bag again and– oh.

“Oh… is that what we’re doing?” Kokichi chuckled, hoping his laughter hid how truly nervous he felt, gazing at the handcuffs. “Am I being arrested? Aww… I was hoping you’d at least take me to dinner, first…”

“This is the last thing, I promise,” Shuichi assured him. “Kokichi. Please… trust me.”

“You hold me at gun point, drug me, want to handcuff me, and you expect me to trust you in any way?” Kokichi snorted. “You’re out of your god damn mind, you know that?”

Shuichi’s eyes softened slightly. “I… know. I’m sorry for all of this, I really am. But you have my word as the Ultimate Detective– no… my word as Shuichi Saihara that I will end this killing game.”

Kokichi did his best not to react when Shuichi took his hands in his own, the cold steel of the handcuffs pressing against his palms.

“You pushed us all away to try to save us,” Shuichi murmured. “I’ve heard it all– you care about us so much. You’re why I try at all, Kokichi– I can’t bear to see you die. It hurts… knowing I’ve let this go on for so long… and I’m sorry I gave up on you so soon. Please, Kokichi… you don’t have to trust me, but at least let me save you.”

Honestly, truly, Kokichi didn’t know what to say. What could he say? So much of that hardly made sense– his words carried a heavy conviction, one burdened with dreadful memories that he purposefully didn’t bring up. His voice was so soft, and the unshed tears glimmering in his eyes reminded Kokichi that, god, this was Shuichi. This wasn’t some malevolent, twisted person threatening him for their own gain; this was the detective he had grown to adore over the course of his terrible killing game, the one who had lost so many close friends because of it and had to condemn all the others.

He knew that Shuichi would never do this without the best possible reason. Shuichi was not a violent person. There was no ill-will in any of his actions. Kokichi couldn’t believe he let himself fall for Shuichi’s little act.

Whatever Shuichi had in mind, he had rarely ever led them wrong before.

“...as thanks for saving me from your friends, I’ll let you handcuff me,” Kokichi decided, smiling at his detective. “But I’m not forgiving you for drugging me. That crosses a biiig boundary, Shuichi.”

“You’ll understand why,” Shuichi promised him, easily clicking one cuff around Kokichi’s wrist, and then the other. “I’m sorry I can’t tell you what I’m planning… but I need you to go along with it, okay? This next part will only work so long as you act like you think I’m crazy.”

“Oh, that’s easy.” Acting was practically Kokichi’s life. This would be a piece of cake.

“But, ah… first…” Shuichi was suddenly very close to him, and Kokichi instinctively stiffened. He gently grabbed his arm and, still holding the gun in that hand, grabbed the crossbow arrow jutting out of his arm. “This may hurt.”

That was all the warning he got before Shuichi ripped the arrow out of his skin. He couldn’t suppress a hiss, his entire body seizing in an instinctive fight or flight reflex as he debated on either kicking Shuichi as hard as he possibly could or freezing like a stunned deer. It passed within seconds, and he blew out a pained breath through his teeth.

“Sorry!” Shuichi squeaked anxiously, which was almost cute enough to make Kokichi forgive him on the spot. Almost. “I know, these hurt a lot… but the pain will pass by quickly. Are you okay…?”

“Aside from my impending unconsciousness, yes,” Kokichi bit back. “I am doing brilliantly.”

Shuichi stared at him, years worth of regret in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything else. He only let out a sigh, cast a pensive look down at the bloody crossbow arrow in his hands, and turned back towards the open shutter.

“...no,” the detective whispered to himself. “This is fine. This… will work. I’ll try pure force if it doesn’t. Okay,” he raised his voice with intention for Kokichi to hear, a little more determination in his words. “Let’s go, Kokichi.”

Maybe Shuichi was a little less mentally sound than Kokichi had been anticipating, but it was too late to back out now. After Shuichi closed the shutter and turned the alarm back on, Kokichi followed him out through the halls like a dog tethered on a leash.

What was I drugged with? he could only wonder. Sleeping drugs… I didn’t even know we had that. Why would he need to drug me to sleep if he doesn’t intend to hurt me? Why lock up Kaito and Maki?

What is this “plan” of his, and what happened to even warrant this? What happened to Shuichi…?

Shuichi led him through the halls, constantly glancing over his shoulder to make sure he was still following. Kokichi wasn’t entirely sure where Shuichi was taking him, but he was relatively surprised when Shuichi stopped walking so soon, right in front of… the room he was keeping Monokuma trapped in.

This guy was just stocked full of surprises, huh?

At this point, Kokichi was hardly even fazed when he found a gun being pointed at the side of his head, but simply for theatrics, he flinched. This must be that “next part” Shuichi was talking about.

“Monokuma, I know you can hear me,” Shuichi called over to the bear, his voice suddenly firm and cold. “The Exisals won’t hurt you if you only talk, so let’s talk.”

When Monokuma didn’t respond, Shuichi lifted the gun slightly, and–

BANG

That one made Kokichi genuinely jump. That bullet grazed right over his head, terrifyingly enough. He would’ve thought guns were Maki’s thing, but man, Shuichi could aim that thing perfectly.

“The next one goes in his and my head,” Shuichi declared darkly.

“You are fucking insane,” Kokichi spat at him, careful not to move so much as an inch. Internally, he was actually pretty on board with this plan. He could get behind bullying Monokuma for answers.

Shuichi ignored him. His gaze was burning expectantly into Monokuma. Kokichi would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious to see where this went. He had tried getting information from Monokuma before and the bear had been stubbornly silent, not making so much as a peep.

The major difference between that and now was that he hadn’t had a hostage.

“...y’know,” Monokuma suddenly spoke, “I was pretty relieved when I saw it was you who wasn’t resetting with the loops. You were never the rebellious type, so I thought you’d help me out without question. I am regretting thinking that at all now.”

“You can’t tell me the truth and expect me not to do something about it,” Shuichi pointed out.

“I was gonna wipe your memories of the loops once it was done,” Monokuma informed the detective. “Come on, don’t you want the time loop to end? Hurry up with it already.”

Kokichi blinked, shooting a sideways look at Shuichi. The what loop?

“Ending the time loop won’t save anyone,” Shuichi growled. “No, not just that… I’d rather live with the guilt of letting my friends die than help you continue the killing game.”

“So you’d rather rot in bed all day?” Monokuma challenged. “You’d let your classmates die over and over again… putting them through the crushing pain of death… just to defy me? Is that helping your classmates any more than just ending the time loop?”

“Death isn’t as bad as you’d think.” Shuichi’s voice was quieter, though the bitterness never left. “You know what death is? Nothing. You’re there, and then you’re not. Everything just stops, and it’s more peaceful than anything I’ve ever had to deal with in this horrible killing game. The only thing about death that hurts is how you die! Strike-9 Poison hurts. Having your skull smashed in hurts, and you know what? It hurts worse when you come back. My friends will never know that pain because they can't remember it, and they never will.”

Aaaand yup, Kokichi had zero idea what was happening anymore. At least it was a little entertaining to watch Shuichi stand his ground so ferociously.

“Isn’t that a little selfish?” Monokuma pointed out. “You’d really let your classmates die just because you don’t want the killing game to continue? You’re going to give yourself the freedom to do whatever you want while trapping everyone else in the same murder loop you hate so much?”

“Freedom?” Shuichi scoffed. “This is torture! I’d do anything to end the time loop! But I won’t if it means the killing game will continue. You only have one chance before I kill Kokichi and drag his body back to the dormitory for everyone to see.”

“Yeesh,” Kokichi muttered under his breath.

“So what of the End Wall?” Shuichi unexpectedly demanded.

“Huh? The End Wall?” Monokuma echoed, sounding hilariously caught off guard. “What about it?”

“At the very start of the game, one of the Monokubs said that beyond that wall was the “end of the world”,” Shuichi quoted. “I assume that could be taken as what we saw at the end of the Death Road of Despair– what you’d expect when the world ends. But that’s not the truth, is it? Past the End Wall is this world’s end. In other words… it’s where the map stops.”

“Well you don’t have to be a genius to figure that out,” Monokuma said, though his voice sounded stiff. “There’s not much else to it than that.”

“Yes, I believe that,” Shuichi concurred. “What I want to know is what happens when someone leaves the map.”

From the way Monokuma noticeably tensed, Kokichi could tell that Shuichi had struck a nerve. Personally, he had never given the End Wall much thought other than how it kept them all trapped in the Ark, and the giant screen projector it utilized to keep them all sane.

The end of the “map”... that sounds suspiciously like the virtual world, Kokichi noticed. This argument sounds personal– they must’ve talked sometime before this. But when? How? Why?

“You’ve already left this map, haven’t you?” Monokuma pointed out carefully. “We had a vacation together on Jabberwock Island! Don’t tell me… our bonding meant nothing to you…?”

“Jabberwock Island is a map,” Shuichi corrected him. “Even if I wasn’t meant to be there, it’s not like I was outside the map. I was just in a different one.”

“Is that really important?” Monokuma asked.

In response, Shuichi yanked Kokichi closer, digging the muzzle of the gun uncomfortably into the side of his head. He knew it was only for theatrics, but he found that he didn’t particularly enjoy being in this situation. One wrong twitch of Shuichi’s finger and it’d be his brain painting the floor.

“It is important, isn’t it?” Kokichi sneered at Monokuma, pushing a shake into his voice. “Y-You’re hiding it on purpose.”

“That only proves my theory further,” Shuichi agreed. “You’re keeping quiet because you don’t want me to know, aren’t you? And you really don’t want me to say it out loud.”

“...me and my big mouth,” Monokuma muttered crossly. “They always say you can’t reason with crazy. If I don’t tell you the truth, then even if I do my part in our plan, you’ll just pop a bullet into the side of Kokichi’s head, won’t you?”

“What?” Kokichi asked, eyeing Shuichi anxiously. He knew that Shuichi wouldn’t– this was one big show, after all. But the whole point of this was to make Monokuma think he would.

“But even if you do leave, where would you go?” Monokuma continued, ignoring him. “There’s no way out. Heck, there’s probably nothing left there at all. Even if you do leave, you’ll probably just starve to death– or you’ll commit suicide when you find out the truth.”

“So I am right,” was what Shuichi took away from that.

Monokuma’s silence was telling.

Shuichi lowered the gun back to his side, allowing Kokichi to automatically relax. But what he wasn’t expecting was for Shuichi to reach into his pocket, fishing out the Exisal remote and placing it in his bound hands.

“Make the Exisals destroy him,” Shuichi ordered.

“Won’t a new one just pop up?” Kokichi pointed out doubtfully. It was difficult enough locking Monokuma up– he might not be able to do it again.

“If the mastermind knows he’s been destroyed, maybe,” said Shuichi. “They’re asleep right now anyway, so they won’t know until morning. Please just destroy him.”

Once again, Kokichi was reminded that he had no idea what was going through Shuichi’s head right now. Shuichi had changed; a change that flew directly under Kokichi’s radar. Time loops and Jabberwock Island and what Monokuma said about “leaving”... it didn’t paint a very reassuring picture.

He said he would help though, and whoever the mastermind was, Shuichi didn’t seem that worried about them.

If they’re asleep, it’s either Keebo, Himiko or Tsumugi, Kokichi realized as he pointed his remote at one of the three remaining Exisals. Himiko and Tsumugi feel too ditzy to be the mastermind, and while there’s definitely something up with Keebo, I doubt he’s the mastermind.

That’s if Shuichi knows who it is. It could very well be Maki or Kaito… which would suck for him I guess, but it's sort of plausible.

With that thought in mind, Kokichi made the pink Exisal stop in its tracks, turn, and lift its foot over Monokuma.

Monokuma tilted his head. “You’re really not as clever as you think you ar–”

There was a loud crunch as the Exisal brought its foot down, flattening Monokuma and effectively cutting him off.

A few seconds passed, and then a small explosion burst from beneath the Exisal’s foot.

“That was a lot more satisfying than I was expecting,” Kokichi commented after a moment. “He’ll be back by morning, so what’s next on your criminal agenda?”

“Criminal–?” Shuichi shot him an alarmed look, though he quickly recovered. “Um… right. We’re going to the dormitory.”

“The dormitory?” Kokichi echoed as Shuichi began walking away. He trailed after the detective, stuffing the remote back into his pocket the best he could. “Aww, you’re such a gentleman, walking me home.”

“No, I’m bringing you to my room,” Shuichi told him. “You’re my third biggest threat to my plan, and I need to make sure you survive until tomorrow evening.”

“Third?” Kokichi gasped melodramatically. “I’m not even first? Wow, Shuichi… I thought what we had was special…”

Shuichi didn’t respond to that, but his cheeks did look a little redder.

Their trip back to the dormitory was uninterrupted, and Kokichi felt relieved to finally sit down on the edge of Shuichi’s bed. Whatever he had been drugged with, it was starting to kick in, because wow his entire body felt heavy. He watched as Shuichi took a few things out of his bag– an antidote bottle, a folded note, a small key– and replaced that with something else.

Something that looked an awful lot like…

“Shuichi? Is that a bomb?” Kokichi questioned. Where the hell did he even get that!? We have bombs here?

“Monokuma told me where they were,” Shuichi reported with somewhat of a smug smile. “I just hope it’s strong enough…”

Kokichi huffed. “You’re blowing up the academy and I don’t even get to help?”

“Wh– I’m not blowing up the academy!” Shuichi protested in horror. “It’s… difficult to explain. I wrote everything down so you can understand what’s going on… I’m sorry I can’t tell you now. I need to be gone before you learn the truth.”

“Gone?” Kokichi repeated. His chest squeezed unpleasantly. “Suicide is boring, Shuichi.”

“I know. I’m not going to kill myself, don’t worry,” Shuichi assured him softly.

The room was quiet as Shuichi walked back to the bed, sitting down next to him. They were very close to each other now, practically touching shoulders. Kokichi couldn’t find it in himself to lean away.

“There’s so much I want to say,” Shuichi told him. His voice was quiet, tender, as if he were afraid of someone overhearing him despite the two of them being alone. “But… I don’t know how to. I’ve missed you, Kokichi.”

“Why would you miss the mastermind?” Kokichi questioned, though even he knew it was pointless. There was no way Shuichi still believed that lie.

“I miss her, too,” Shuichi unexpectedly admitted. “Well… not her, necessarily. I know she needs to be stopped, and I’m so angry at her, it’s kind of scary. But after everything we’ve been through together… it feels strange. It doesn’t feel real. I mean, she was the first person I went to for help, and… it’s her words that kept me going for so long.”

“So you know who it is,” Kokichi stated. It was no longer a question at this point– Shuichi did actually know.

This was confirmed when Shuichi nodded. “It’s in the note I wrote for you all. I don’t know how to explain how I know without… everything else in there.”

Kokichi hummed, and left it at that.

The room lapsed into silence. Kokichi gazed at Shuichi, who wasn’t looking at him. Instead, his eyes were locked on the ground, melancholy and exhausted. It had been a crazy night, and now that they were alone, the mask Shuichi had been wearing in front of everyone was gone. Kokichi could read his expression like an open book– he could see all of the guilt Shuichi harbored, accompanied by an unyielding determination that could match even Kokichi’s. 

Quiet anger. Sadness. Relief. Pain. Kokichi could see it all, and it fascinated him as much as it frustrated him. Since when had Shuichi become the complicated one?

“You should lay down,” Shuichi suggested after a little bit. “It’s… going to kick in soon.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” Kokichi snorted. “Well, if I’m going to be tied up and vulnerable around anyone, I guess it’s fine if it’s you. But you’d better not draw on my face or anything like that.”

“I… I wasn’t planning to,” Shuichi assured him with a small, confused smile. “I just want you to be safe. I know this is drastic, but–”

“Drastic times call for drastic measures,” Kokichi interrupted him. He laid on his back, pushing off his shoes with his heels as he spoke. “Even an idiot could see there’s something up with you. Don’t get me wrong, I am really mad at you, but you’re not the only one who’s held people hostage. It’s to end the killing game, right?”

Shuichi perked up, relief bringing a little light back into his dull eyes. “Yes! I’m doing this to end the killing game.”

“And the time loop,” Kokichi added.

“And the–” Shuichi stopped, swiveling his head to give Kokichi a hilariously wide-eyed look.

He couldn’t help but smirk. “Do you think hostages become deaf the minute you point a gun at them? I was right there when you and Monokuma were talking about it. Time loops and Jabberwock Islands and some pretty worrying hints here and there.”

Maybe the “time loop” was a sensitive subject, because Shuichi stood up, turning his head so Kokichi could no longer see his face. He paced a few steps away, his shoulders tense.

“I know you don’t believe me,” Shuichi murmured without looking back at him. “I still don’t know if you did even then. But whether you believe me or not, I know exactly what I need to do to stop the killing game… and the time loop.”

“And to do that, you have to lock up your friends, hold me prisoner, and blow up the End Wall,” Kokichi summarized.

“I like Kaito and Maki, but they won’t listen to me if I try to tell them everything,” Shuichi sighed, finally letting him see his expression again. Despite his somber tone, his lips were curved in the smallest of smiles. “Especially not about the mastermind. Maki had her doubts, but you made her so angry that she gave up on reason and decided to kill you anyway. Kaito won’t believe me at all about the time loop, and he’d, ah… be really mad at how I decided to go about everything. Besides, I… don’t want them talking me out of this. I’m keeping you here because you keep putting yourself in lethal danger, and I can’t worry about that while I’m doing what I need to do.”

“So when I wake up, what’s stopping me from– from following you?” Kokichi inquired. “I can find the hole you’re gonna make in the End Wall and leave.”

“...I’m hoping you’ll cover everything I can’t while I’m gone,” Shuichi admitted meekly. “Mainly, everything regarding the mastermind. You’re my best bet on that front, Kokichi.”

Kokichi blinked at him. Shuichi really trusted Kokichi enough with a plan he didn’t even know? Really?

“Well… okay.” Kokichi shifted around on the bed until he was comfortable, drawing his knees closer to his chest. “I guess I’ll help. Anything for you, Shuichi.”

Shuichi regarded him with a worried glint in his eyes. “It’s taking effect, isn’t it…?”

“No, it’s actually the copious amount of sugar I took finally making my–my body shut down,” Kokichi deadpanned. “Yeah, I… have not been eating much. I was already tired, and this is, um, not helping.”

“Oh.” 

The guilt had returned to Shuichi’s expression as he approached the bedside again. The detective pulled a pillow closer to Kokichi for him to comfortably lay his head on, which made him feel small and very useless, but it also made him… sort of happy, to be taken care of even in such a minor way. He forgot what it felt like to have people like him.

“This sucks,” Kokichi grumbled in an attempt to push away all the gross, emotional feelings that were threatening to arise. “I can’t even think of any good lies right now. Jeez… laying down was a mistake…”

“I’m sorry,” Shuichi winced. “I just wanted to keep you safe. Whether you believe me about the time loop or not… I’ve seen what would happen to you if I didn’t step in. I never watched you get crushed, but I’ve seen Maki attack you. I know how much Strike-9 Poison hurts because you got me shot when I was trying to help you. This is… the best way to keep you alive through the night that I could think of.”

Kokichi could think of at least four different ways off the top of his head that didn’t involve drugging and tying him up, but to each their own, he supposed.

“The minute I wake up,” he muttered under his breath, “I am going to punch you. So hard.”

Shuichi didn’t reply to that. What he did do was reach down to brush Kokichi’s bangs out of his eyes, which made his heart jump a little higher than he wanted it to.

“I don’t know what comes next,” his detective quietly admitted. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen to me– or to you– when I leave. But I want you to know that… despite the terrible things you have done… I don’t hate you. I don’t know what it is I feel towards you, but it isn't hate. Never hate.”

Shuichi stepped away from the side of the bed.

“Maybe we’ll never see each other again,” Shuichi murmured. “Or maybe I’ll see you once the killing game is over. No matter what happens… or what I find outside of the Ark… I’ll do my best to save all of you. All I hope is that, when this is all over and everyone is finally safe, we can be… friends. Or maybe… maybe something… more than that. Goodbye, Kokichi. I hope we’ll meet again.”

Never… see each other again…?

Kokichi watched as Shuichi walked towards the door. All of that was so out of left field, but now Kokichi was wondering what Shuichi expected to happen if he left the “map” or whatever it was he and Monokuma had been talking about.

Escape… he’s leaving– escaping the “map”... he even visited another one, supposedly. And a time loop, how is that possible? Unless he’s been trying to hint that we’re in a–

–oh my god.

It was an insane thought. One that Kokichi found he was unable to dwell on, as it was becoming scarily impossible to comprehensively sort his thoughts.

Was that it, though? Was he right? Is that why Shuichi had been acting so wildly uncharacteristic?

Kokichi didn’t know. He felt as uncertain as Shuichi had looked as he whispered his worries to Kokichi.

Not knowing was the scariest part of it all.

The last thing Kokichi saw before his eyes grew too heavy to keep open was Shuichi walking out the door.

Chapter Text

His heart felt empty.

That was the first thing he thought when he realized he was awake. It was as if a part of his very soul had been ripped out of his chest.

This feeling wasn’t entirely new, per say. He felt some of this emptiness every time he watched one of his friends, his classmates, meet their brutal end in this killing game.

But this was… different. Someone’s death left behind an air of life; dying was never permanent so long as there were people to remember you. People didn’t stick around as ghosts or spirits after death, they stayed in the form of memories and lasting impressions.

Death doesn't mean you’re ever truly gone. That’s how Kokichi saw it, anyway. The absence of a physical presence would leave a void in itself, of course it would, but there was always something left behind.

It was never like this. It never felt as though a piece of the world had simply removed itself from all reality. Like he had never existed in the first place.

It was embarrassing, but the feeling brought tears to Kokichi’s eyes. 

He couldn’t help it. How could anyone feel this way and not cry? Even then, it wasn’t as if Shuichi had died. He hadn’t even been hurt in any way. He was simply… not there anymore. One minute he was sharing his warm voice with Kokichi, his face wonderful and melancholy, and the next…

…he was gone. Just like that.

What a strange feeling.

It took a little bit for Kokichi to take in his surroundings again. His vision was blurry with tears and he kept sniffling, his breath hitching and uneven, but he knew there was something he had to do.

Right. Shuichi’s room.

(“...I’m hoping you’ll cover everything I can’t while I’m gone. Mainly, everything regarding the mastermind. You’re my best bet on that front, Kokichi.”)

Kokichi huffed weakly.

“That stupid… idiot…” he cursed, squeezing his tired eyes shut. “Leaving a liar like me to do his dirty work…

He tried to reach up to wipe his eyes clean, and was immediately reminded of the handcuffs around his wrists. Crap, he probably had to do something about that.

Moving sucked. His entire body felt uncomfortably stiff as he swung his legs off the side of the bed. Everything ached as he stood up, a task made significantly more difficult when he was dizzy and lacked use of his hands.

Hmm. He wondered what time it was. Looking at the door, it seemed like it was morning, but Kokichi wasn’t too sure. Did he sleep through the morning announcement?

I’d better hurry before the mastermind finds out Monokuma’s destroyed, Kokichi realized. He didn’t know why Shuichi wanted to destroy Monokuma, but…

Looking at the folded note and key on the table, he was sure he could find the answers pretty easily.

The first thing he did was free himself of those damn handcuffs and stretch his arms out to either side of him. His shoulders and wrists were so unbelievably sore, and it was a massive relief to be able to move them again. Shuichi was going to face his wrath for doing something so unnecessary.

Wherever he is, his brain helpfully reminded him.

Biting his bottom lip anxiously, Kokichi’s eyes turned towards the folded note.

That was the last thing Shuichi left behind for not just him, but everyone.

(“I don’t know what comes next. I’m not sure what’s going to happen to me– or to you– when I leave.”

“Maybe we’ll never see each other again. Or maybe I’ll see you once the killing game is over. No matter what happens… or what I find outside of the Ark… I’ll do my best to save all of you.”)

Kokichi’s hand was trembling as he picked up the small slab of paper. He unfolded it with delicate fingers, terrified of putting even the smallest dent in it.

Shuichi’s handwriting was small, varying in neatness but remaining the same size overall. It was a long note, so Kokichi sat down on the chair behind him and mentally braced himself.

The note said;

“To my friends,

When (and if) Kokichi gives this to you, I’m going to be gone. I don’t know what effect my actions will have on the simulation, but I hope it’s nothing too bad.

I want to start this by explaining what I’ve been going through. By my estimate, this loop, my final stand, is somewhere around the 40th time I have relived this night. I might be wrong, but the numbers don’t matter. What does matter is that I am, and have been, in a time loop. I didn’t want to tell you in person. No one would believe me, and even if I do convince you, I want to do what I have to do alone. Believe it or not, I think you’re all safer here, in the simulation, rather than outside of it. I’m sorry, Kaito, I know you told me not to act alone, but I’ve been alone for so long now I can’t figure out how I’d even ask for help. I’ve tried to ask you for help, Kaito, but you and Maki told me I was delusional. You told me I couldn’t fight time.

You’re right. I can’t fight time. But it’s like you said: the impossible is possible, you just have to make it so. So I found the truth behind the time loop– although a little inadvertently– and I uncovered so much more than I would have thought.

This killing game has taken place inside a virtual reality simulation. Everything within the bounds of the End Wall is a map tailored to us sixteen specifically. Some sort of “team” outside the simulation trapped us here, and have been forcing us to play the killing game. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how, but that’s the truth. Additionally, Monokuma said that he wasn’t sure if that team was monitoring us anymore– if they were, they would have stopped the time loop a long time ago. That’s all I know on that front, but to explain how I even found this out… I need to explain what happened during the time loop.

The time loop resets itself every time a body discovery announcement plays, or whenever the next nighttime announcement plays. At first, I was naturally skeptical of everything that was happening. A time loop should be scientifically impossible, so how was this happening? And how do I stop it? Knowing what I know now, it makes a lot more sense, but at the time, I was confused and distressed. So I went to one of you for help. I had no idea at the time that the person I went to to help me stop the very murder they wanted to happen was the mastermind. Ironically enough, it was you, mastermind, who gave me the advice I needed to come as far as I did. You told me to use the time loops to my advantage… so I did.

But in that attempt, the fourth loop, in which I spoke to you… I died for the first time. You hit me with your Electrohammer, and I died instantaneously. I can’t describe death to its fullest. It’s something you can only experience for yourself. Everything just… stops. In my experience, though? Dying is the most painful thing imaginable. Because death isn’t a reward anymore if you’re brought back to life over and over. Based on my deductions, I believe that my body doesn’t rewind with every time loop. Because I’m alive at the start of every loop, the simulation will bring me back, but it won’t heal any injuries I had. That might be the worst part about coming back.

After that, I didn’t know who to trust. I thought Kokichi was the mastermind at the time. But still, I went through with the mastermind’s advice. Despite how awful I felt, I used the time loops to watch everything play out. I know about how Himiko gives Kaito a crossbow to disarm Kokichi– Kiibo, that is what you saw, isn’t it? And then you saw the green Exisal enter the hangar. Well, inside that Exisal was Maki. She used her Electrohammer to hijack it and break into the hangar, with a crossbow of her own. Except her arrows were no normal arrows. Her arrows were coated in a lethal and slow-acting poison called Strike-9. She intended to torture Kokichi for answers. When she arrived in the hangar, she saw Kaito and Kokichi fighting, and that’s when she shot Kokichi with one arrow.

After realizing Kokichi wasn’t going to answer any of her questions, Maki was going to kill him. But Kaito took the shot for him. He didn’t want to let Maki become a murderer. And so Kaito and Kokichi were both poisoned with Strike-9… and only one antidote existed. Maki ran to grab it from my lab, but Kokichi closed the shutter on her, so the only way she could try to give it to Kaito was through the bathroom window. Kokichi pretended to drink it, and when Maki runs away, he sets off an Electrobomb and gives the antidote to Kaito. With Kaito now in his debt, he proposes his insane plan: a plan involving an unknowable culprit. For this, he would need Kaito’s cooperation, and… Kaito agrees.

Kokichi dies when he is crushed under the press, since the Electrobomb severed the safety function. I’m not sure where Kaito hides in the hangar… maybe in the red Exisal? Either way, this is what happens during the night. In the morning, we raid the hangar like usual, and we find Kokichi’s crushed body under the hydraulic press. We all think it’s Kaito though, because it’s his sleeve we see with all that blood. That is what happens during the night if I don’t intervene.

I tried stopping this from happening a lot of times. First, I stopped Maki from ever going to the hangar. I even stood outside all night to make sure she didn’t go anywhere near it. Even so… Kokichi died. That’s because I was missing the second piece of the puzzle, and this is when I learned that Kokichi is not the mastermind. It was all a lie that we fell for. You can ask him about it, but I doubt he’ll tell you anything… but that’s okay, Kokichi. I don’t expect you to share your plans with everyone. All I need you to do is to rely on mine. Anyway, he said that Maki’s actions were instigated by the true mastermind, which is exactly what happened when we were all shown that Flashback Light.

Knowing all of this, I decided to try stopping Maki from shooting Kaito. If she only shot Kokichi, I could give him the antidote, and no one would have to die. Simple, right? The shutter was open, so I could enter the hangar with no problem. I don’t want to talk about what happened in this loop. Kokichi made Kaito and Maki think he manipulated me into protecting him from her, so Maki shot me with one of her poisoned arrows after sending Kaito off to grab the antidote. This was the loop I experienced my second death. A death I caused myself. I slit my neck open with the poisoned crossbow arrow, and that started a hell none of you would ever be able to understand.

The poison was still in my body even in the next loop. That didn’t cross my mind when everything reset. I got so sick, and so weak, that I couldn’t move. I died twice, very slowly. And on that third time, I managed to Maki’s room and told her to get the antidote. I was really out of it for this one. I remember holding Himiko’s hand after blacking out; I might have had a seizure looking back on it. I don’t know. But just before I died, Maki gave me the antidote, and dying all those times… was what did it in for me.

When you die and come back, your entire brain turns off for a period of time. I don't know what happens to us in the real world when we die, but if it’s anything like Miu, I was experiencing that over and over. I promised myself not to change because of the time loop, but what happens to me when my body is shut down and restarted over and over? What does that do to me as a person? This, combined with my critical lack of sleep, led to something I never thought I’d be capable of doing.

I found a gun in the warehouse, and to stop Maki, Kaito and Kokichi from killing each other, I held you three hostage at gunpoint until morning. I was acting crazy and irrational. I even shot Kaito to get my point across. I feel so terrible for that now, and Kaito, I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry to all three of you, because I hurt all of you when I did that. You were all afraid, and I never wanted any of you to be scared of me. I just wanted no one to die. It was Kokichi who talked me down. I broke down crying, and when I dropped the gun, he hugged me, guided me away from everything and convinced me to eat after I hadn’t in so long. He let me fall asleep in his lap, and he took care of me until I woke up later that night. All of you were in my room. It was the happiest I had been, and I really thought the time loop would end.

It didn’t. Everything reset with the nighttime announcement, and so I went to Kaito for help. I didn’t know what else to do. Kaito… you tried to help me, but you didn’t believe me. Telling me that was the worst mistake you could have made in that moment, because it broke me. I spent the next few loops in bed. That’s not all there is to it though, because my determination wasn’t entirely broken yet. There was one last thing I had to try. I killed the mastermind.

I slit their throat with a knife and dragged their body to the middle of the dormitory. Himiko found me first, and then Kiibo. You two thought I was insane, and when Himiko ran to try and get Kaito’s help, Maki came out of the school. She and Kiibo pinned me down, and the body discovery announcement played when Maki went into the dormitory. I’ll never forget the feeling of watching the mastermind die at my feet. Even to you, the mastermind, I’m so sorry.

After this, I gave up. I spent every loop since then in bed, eating only when I had to and avoiding all of you as much as I could. But killing the mastermind had broken something within the simulation, and in a one in a thousandth chance, the map that loaded with the next loop was not our own. I wound up on Jabberwock Island, where I met with Monokuma. He told me everything I needed to know about the simulation, and he also told me how to end the time loop.

I had the first part right. I couldn’t let anyone die until the next nighttime announcement. But what I was missing was the very cause of the time loop: Monokuma himself. When the Electrobomb knocked out all electrical feedback, it affected Monokuma too. This simulation isn’t designed in a way where Monokuma can’t know who the culprit is, so when Kokichi died that first time, the simulation tried to fix itself by resetting back to its last trigger: the nighttime announcement. After that, the entire thing just… broke. By destroying Monokuma, I destroyed the need for a trigger reset, and so time could run normally again. That’s why I had you destroy him, Kokichi. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.

All I ask is that you don’t reset the time loop. I won’t be there to fix it, and even if you don’t remember it, it pains me to think that Kokichi is caught in a death loop again. I’ve trapped Maki and Kaito in the Exisal hangar’s bathroom, so you’ll need to go free them if they haven’t already found some way to break free. And please don’t persecute Kokichi. I need you all to work together to make sure no one else dies while I’m gone. Please be patient until I can end the simulation. In the meantime, please, just stay there. I don’t know what I’ll be facing as I’m writing this. Maybe I’ll have to face the “team” Monokuma talked about, maybe it’s entirely empty out here, or maybe the truth is something much more reprehensible… but please trust me to take care of it. Place your faith in me. After everything, that’s all I want from all of you.

You’ll need to take care of the mastermind. I don’t know if they know about the simulation or not, but no matter what, they’re the mastermind and they have to be restrained. Don’t let them make another Monokuma, but also please don’t kill them. I already know that won’t work.

I’m running out of writing room, so that’s all I have to say. I’m sorry I couldn’t say goodbye to you all, and Kaito, Maki, I’m sorry for what I did to you. Kokichi, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for drugging you, and I’m sorry for letting you die. Kiibo, Himiko, I’m sorry you got caught up in all this. Tsumugi, I’m sorry for killing you, and I’m sorry that it had to be you that was the mastermind. Despite what you’ve done to me… to all of us… I still miss you. You were my friend through it all. And if I’m right in what I’ve assumed… you’re going to be just as angry at the team that put us here as everyone else.

Goodbye, everyone. I love you and I hope I’ll get to see you all again. You’ve all been wonderful to me. I will never forget you, so please don't forget me either.

Shuichi Saihara”

ding dong

The sound of the doorbell snapped Kokichi out of his trance. He had been staring mindlessly at the words scrawled by Shuichi for so long he forgot about everything else.

His body feeling numb, Kokichi stood up, still holding the note in his hand, and approached the door.

By the time he thought, oh, this is going to be so awkward, he was already opening the door.

It was K1-B0 who had rung the doorbell, but Himiko and Tsumugi were there with him. Confusion turned into shock turned into disbelief and anger and all three of his classmates stumbled a step back, all exclaiming various cries at his appearance.

“Surprise~!” Kokichi greeted them, his voice embarrassingly hoarse. “Wasn’t expecting me, were you?”

“Kokichi!” K1-B0 cried out, gripping his Electrohammer tightly. “What are you doing in Shuichi’s bedroom!?”

“What did you do to him!?” demanded Tsumugi.

Kokichi tried not to let his face show his disdain. “More like what did he do to me? I have no idea how I got here! But maybe that’s a lie? Maybe I roughed and toughed him up, and he’s lying a bloody corpse behind me!”

While the two girls were bristling with hostility, K1-B0’s eyes narrowed, and he calculatively looked Kokichi up and down. For the sake of convincing, Kokichi let some of his weariness show in his slumped posture, in his damp cheeks, messy hair and shaking hands. He didn’t like showing weakness, but if he could weaponize his weakness to his advantage, then he’d gladly do so.

(“You’re why I try at all, Kokichi– I can’t bear to see you die.”

“Please, Kokichi… you don’t have to trust me, but at least let me save you.”)

Oh, Shuichi. He must have a lot of faith in his friends to leave him alone with them.

“Wait,” K1-B0 said to the girls, lowering his Electrohammer slightly. “Something seems… off, about him.”

Kokichi gasped. “Really!? But I’m just the same ol’ mastermind-y me I’ve always been! So, are you gonna bash my skull in with that hammer of yours? Huh? Will ya, Keeboy?”

“Wh-What!?” K1-B0 exclaimed, looking genuinely taken aback. “No matter what you are, I would never–!”

“Wait!” Tsumugi realized suddenly, her eyes shooting wide. “Have you been… crying? A-And is that blood on your sleeve?”

Merely out of spite, Kokichi did not reach up to wipe away any remnants of his grief. In fact, he smiled bitterly at her, the words of his favorite person seared into his mind.

(‘Tsumugi, I’m sorry for killing you, and I’m sorry that it had to be you that was the mastermind…’)

That sweet bastard apologized. He was sorry for something she wouldn’t even know about.

Don’t let her know you know, Kokichi had to remind himself. If Shuichi was leaving things to him while he did whatever outside of the apparent simulation, then he was going to do things his own way. And that meant controlling the situation until Shuichi did his part.

(He tried to ignore the throbbing in his heart. Shuichi was not dead. He shouldn't feel so devastated.)

“Maaaaybe,” Kokichi hummed. “Or maybe they’re the tears of a certain detective I just slaughtered. Will we ever know–?”

K1-B0 shoved past him so quickly he nearly lost his footing. He watched, mildly amused, as the robot panickedly hurried into Shuichi’s bedroom. Himiko quickly followed suit, but Tsumugi stayed behind, standing in his path of potential escape. Realistically, he could flee this situation at any time, but he’d let her think she was in his way.

“What did you do with Shuichi?” K1-B0 urgently demanded upon realizing the room was crime free.

“And Maki,” Himiko added helpfully. “I thought Kaito was disarming you.”

Tsumugi looked stunned. “Kaito was doing what!? Was everyone involved in last night’s chaos except me?”

Kokichi rolled his eyes, walking back into the room to properly address his friends. Classmates. Acquaintances? It was hard to tell.

“So maybe I didn’t bash his brain in,” Kokichi began. “But you’re not going to find him. Shuichi’s gone.”

“Gone…?” Himiko echoed nervously.

“Yup,” he said, effortlessly lackadaisical. “He’s not dead or anything, don’t worry. He’s just totally vanished! But, man… would you really believe a liar like me…? The mastermind of this killing game? I did lock up Kaito. Nishishi… who’s to say Shuichi isn’t trapped somewhere too~? ♪”

“W-We should really restrain this guy,” Tsumugi pointed out warily.

“As incomprehensible as his actions are, he is not… necessarily wrong,” K1-B0, albeit reluctantly, said. “I’ve felt it since this morning. Something feels as if it is missing, doesn’t it?”

Himiko blinked at him in surprise. “Nyeh? You too? I thought it was my magic acting up because I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“I felt that too!” Tsumugi gasped. “I woke up last night because I felt like– like a lightning bolt plainly struck me in my sleep! As if the very earth was rumbling beneath my bed…!”

“That was probably the bomb Shuichi set off,” Kokichi commented nonchalantly.

Mastermind or not, Tsumugi’s expression was so worth it. “The WHAT!?”

“Yeah, did I mention he went a little crazy last night? ‘cause he was totes losing it.” Kokichi inspected his nails, feigning disinterest. “I didn’t know Kaito had bodyguards when I decided to take him prisoner, because both Maki and Shuichi came into the hangar with god damn weapons. Hey, did you know we have actual guns somewhere here on campus?”

“Wait, wait, wait,” interjected K1-B0. “Maki and Shuichi stormed the hangar last night? What happened to waiting until morning?”

“Were they planning to attack without us…?” Himiko wondered dejectedly.

“Actually, Maki came alone. She just wanted to kill me,” Kokichi corrected the two of them. “Shuichi had his own thing going on. It was pretty funny at first, but then he started pointing his gun at me and it started getting boring.”

“Wait… I’m confused,” Tsumugi announced. “We’re talking about the same Shuichi, right…? Shuichi Saihara?”

“Nope! I’m actually referring to the demon Kiyo brought back with his Caged Dog ritual!” Kokichi automatically lied.

“I find it hard to believe Shuichi would do such an outrageous and irrational thing,” K1-B0 stated. “Shuichi is fairly level-headed, and he’s not one to resort to violence so easily.”

“Even with all his training, he’s always been the pacifist type, don’t you think?” Tsumugi agreed doubtfully. “Unless… that wound in your arm is from him…?”

His hand subconsciously found its way to the side of his arm, and he bore a small, strained smile. “That’s from Kaito, actually. All three of them ganged up on me, which was completely unfair by the way. But if you want proof that Shuichi actually went batshit last night… check it.”

Still clutching the note in one hand, Kokichi used his other to pull up his sleeve. As he expected, his skin was bruised and indented from those handcuffs. It made sense; those were made in Ryoma’s size, coming from his Ultimate Research Lab. Kokichi’s wrists could fit, but not comfortably.

“See those handcuffs?” Kokichi jerked his head in the direction of the handcuffs sitting harmlessly on the table. “I had to wear those while he shoved a gun into the side of my head. He also brought me here after drugging me to sleep… which is why I didn’t escape earlier. He really thought everything through, didn’t he?”

To say his three classmates looked baffled would be an understatement. They were staring at him as if he had spontaneously grown a second head.

“I’m really… really confused,” Himiko found her voice first.

“Should we even be listening to him?” Tsumugi wondered with an uncertain glance at the other two. “Isn’t he the mastermind? What if he’s just lying about everything?”

“It’s fine if you think I’m lying,” Kokichi said. He held up the note– Shuichi’s final message– for everyone to see. “But at least believe this.”

K1-B0 inhaled. “Is that… from Shuichi?”

“Wow, the robot is actually being reliable for once!” Kokichi exclaimed, though his heart wasn’t in it. Before K1-B0 could retort, he continued. “Yup! Shuichi wrote this. It explains why he went a little bonkers. It also tells us some really interesting information about the killing game itself.”

This was going to be rough. Kokichi didn’t want to give away the last thing Shuichi had left behind, especially when his heart ached so badly for him. It was irrational, he knew– Shuichi wasn’t dead, he had no reason to feel like this. But even so…

Oh. If the others felt this emptiness, it must have been Shuichi leaving the simulation, Kokichi realized. If that’s the case, then… is that proof in itself that Shuichi is being truthful?

Kokichi didn’t know. This all came at him kind of fast. One thing’s for sure, he didn't think Shuichi was lying.

(“Goodbye, Kokichi. I hope we’ll meet again.”)

He closed his eyes for a moment to recollect himself. Shuichi was just being dramatic. Kokichi would hunt him down to the ends of the earth if that’s what he had to do.

“Keebo, do you want the honor of reading this out loud?” Kokichi questioned with a sly smile, offering the note out to the robot.

K1-B0 looked suspicious– Kokichi didn’t expect him not to be– but regardless, he cautiously accepted the note, smoothing it out to be readable.

“It’s quite long,” K1-B0 observed. “...extremely long. This is from Shuichi?”

“I definitely didn’t write it,” Kokichi confirmed. “Go on, read it!”

“I have to admit, I am pretty curious,” Tsumugi encouraged the robot. “What does it say?”

“I suppose…” Despite how troubled K1-B0 appeared, he cleared his throat. “Listen close.”

With that, K1-B0 began reading out loud. Kokichi was glad he had so much practice with wearing a fake expression, because he could easily put on a blank face to hide how he truly felt. Reading it alone was one thing, but listening to K1-B0 echo Shuichi’s words was like twisting the knife already stuck in his heart. In fact, he felt dumb for feeling so strongly about someone. Killing game or not, this was just gross.

As he expected, the first mentions of the simulation confused them– even Tsumugi looked genuinely shocked. The time loop was even more surprising, which he could understand. He had been surprised to hear a legitimately plausible explanation for such an insane thing. Shuichi’s recollection of the past time loops, telling them of things they did that they’d never remember… it certainly had an impact on the three who were hearing it for the first time.

Kokichi kept an eye on Tsumugi. When K1-B0 was reading out Shuichi’s description of his crime, sounding faintly nauseous, Tsumugi had been growing increasingly pale. It was satisfying seeing her growing unease as K1-B0 read on and on, growing ever-closer to the reveal.

“‘Keebo, Himiko, I’m sorry you got caught up in all this,’” K1-B0 read with a tight frown. He paused, his eyes widening slightly as he inevitably read ahead.

“Shuichi…” Himiko whispered sympathetically. “He must have felt terrible…”

“I can’t imagine being in such a position,” Tsumugi agreed, although a little reluctantly. “...Keebo? Why’d you stop?”

“Umm…” K1-B0 hesitated, eyeing Tsumugi uncertainly. “Shuichi… named the mastermind.”

“Nyeh? He did?” Himiko shot upright, suddenly looking wide awake. “Who is it?”

“Tell us, Keebo,” Kokichi added with significantly less enthusiasm.

K1-B0 was quiet for a few moments longer, staring at Tsumugi. It was obvious that he knew, and Tsumugi was not ignorant to this fact.

“‘Tsumugi, I’m sorry for killing you, and I’m sorry that it had to be you that was the…’ the mastermind.”

With how silent the room went, the sound of a pin dropping would be equivalent to an atomic bomb going off.

“Well, there you have it,” Kokichi decided to speak first. “Tsumugi Shirogane is the mastermind of this killing game! She’s the one forcing us to kill each other!”

“W-Wait… what!?” Tsumugi yelped in horror. “Wh-What does that mean? I’m the mastermind? How would he even know!?”

“Tsumugi… is the mastermind…?” Himiko murmured, gazing at the cosplayer doubtfully. “There’s no way… right?”

“If everything Shuichi has described is true, then he has a fair reason to assume that’s the case,” K1-B0 pointed out. “Tsumugi, is… is this true…? Are you the mastermind?”

“If she is, we should probably take away that hammer,” Kokichi butted in. “That is what she used to kill Shuichi, after all…”

Tsumugi dropped the Electrohammer as if it had burned her. Kokichi tried not to cringe as it carelessly clattered on the ground. She could at least try to respect one of Miu’s inventions, even if the girl herself had done little to deserve it.

“But can we really determine if I’m the mastermind because of something I never did?” Tsumugi frantically questioned.

She made this too easy, Kokichi thought. “So are you calling Shuichi a liar?”

Tsumugi blanched. “Th-That’s not what I–”

“Finish reading the will, Keebo,” Kokichi interrupted her. “There’s just a little left.”

The room was tense as K1-B0 continued to read what Shuichi had left them. And then, finally, he was finished, citing Shuichi’s ending signature just as it was written. Kokichi kept his expression carefully blank, his eyes locked on the mastermind, who appeared to be a little stunned.

(Now that K1-B0 was done with it, Kokichi wanted nothing more than to snatch that note right out of the robot’s stiff, hard hands. Shuichi wasn’t coming back and Kokichi was going to be really upset if that note was damaged.)

Now that he was fully paying attention though, what did Shuichi mean by Tsumugi being “just as angry as everyone else”? She was the mastermind, so logic dictates she would have worked with that mysterious team Shuichi kept bringing up. Why would she be angry at them?

“I… I’m really not the mastermind…” Tsumugi tried helplessly, and at this point Kokichi was finding her excuses pathetic.

“So if you’re not the mastermind, prove it,” Kokichi challenged her. “Let us restrain you until we have definitive proof you aren’t the mastermind.”

“What would be the benefit of that!?” she cried out, horrified. “H-How do we know you didn’t just forge this note–”

“As shocking as it sounds, I don’t think Kokichi forged this,” K1-B0 interjected with certainty. “I’ve seen Shuichi’s handwriting before, and this certainly matches it.”

“What if Kokichi just copied it…?” Himiko suggested, but even she didn’t sound too confident in her reasoning.

“Why don’t you ask Kaito and Maki?” Kokichi shot back with a sly smirk in Tsumugi’s direction. “If I really did forge this, that means I was making up everything about last night. So let’s go ask the two Shuichi also waved a gun at!”

Tsumugi looked pale, and Kokichi gladly relished the sense or control he had. He hated feeling helpless, so this was a very welcome turnaround. Shuichi could feel sorry for her all he wanted, but Kokichi was not as nice of a person as he was. He wanted Tsumugi in the ground.

“We need to rescue them anyway,” K1-B0 concurred, delicately folding the note and effectively causing Kokichi’s blood pressure to spike. “Kokichi, would you–”

Kokichi didn’t wait a single second longer. He swiped the note out of K1-B0’s hands, hiding it in his scarf, where he stored most small things (it was surprisingly handy in that way, don't judge him!).

“I… don’t want to think Tsumugi's the mastermind,” Himiko decided. “I thought Kokichi was the mastermind…? I don’t really know what to believe anymore.”

“Shuichi did say we could ask Kokichi about his plans,” K1-B0 recalled, already turning to him. “K–”

“Let’s hurry up and make sure the idiots didn’t get themselves obliterated by an Exisal,” Kokichi spoke over him. “And we’ve gotta make sure Miss Mastermind doesn’t slip away from us. It’d be trouble if she made a new Monokuma.”

“...fine. If you think I’m the mastermind, then I’ll do everything I can to show you I’m not!” Tsumugi declared determinedly. “So even if you have to… handcuff me, or whatever you’re going to do… I won't resist. Because I am innocent.”

“What an inspiring declaration!” Kokichi gasped in mock awe. “But it’s not working on me. Let’s handcuff her.”

“Nyeh? Didn’t the handcuffs not fit?” Himiko asked, her eyes trailing to the handcuffs on the table.

Kokichi deadpanned at her. “Your point?”

“I want to believe Shuichi, but given that this came from Kokichi… we need more definitive proof,” reasoned K1-B0. “Tsumugi, will you come with us to the Exisal hangar to free Kaito and Maki? If you really are not the mastermind–”

“I’ll come with you,” Tsumugi automatically agreed. “I’m sure they can prove my innocence…”

“And once we do, we’ll know Kokichi is the mastermind and that note is fake,” Himiko murmured thoughtfully. “Okay. Let’s go!”

That was fine by Kokichi. He knew for a fact that Kaito and Maki were going to corroborate his story.

With Kokichi and Tsumugi sandwiched between Himiko and K1-B0, the four of them began out of the dormitory. While Kokichi made sure his walk was leisurely and unbothered, Tsumugi was stiff. Uncertain. She knew she was done for if Kokichi’s story was verified, so why was she going along with this so easily? Kokichi would have expected her to put up more of a fight.

(“And if I’m right in what I’ve assumed… you’re going to be just as angry at the team that put us here as everyone else.”)

Of all of Kokichi’s habits to pick up, of course it had to be the one where he didn’t tell anyone anything obviously helpful. Did Shuichi think Tsumugi was also forced to participate in the killing game despite being the mastermind that orchestrated the whole thing? How did he come to that conclusion?

“I’m worried about what we’ll find,” K1-B0 announced on their way to the hangar. “If Shuichi’s story is true… then none of this is real? This is all a virtual reality simulation?”

Kokichi shrugged. “It explains the time loop. He was rambling off about that while he and Monokuma were fighting.”

He might’ve forgotten to bring that up, because K1-B0’s head swiveled around to look at him. “Shuichi and Monokuma were fighting!?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Now that he had read the note, their whole argument made a lot more sense. “Before Shuichi had me flatten Monokuma with an Exisal, Shuichi wanted Monokuma to tell him about the End Wall. He said that if Monokuma didn’t tell him, he’d kill me and let the time loops continue forever.”

“What!?” Even Tsumugi sounded shocked at that. “I thought he wanted nothing more than for the time loops to end?”

“Apparently it was fine ‘cause only he remembered them,” Kokichi hummed. “He’s soooo selfless, don’t you think? I wonder how many more times he’d let me die if Monokuma kept his mouth shut?”

“He had to have been bluffing, right…?” K1-B0 guessed uncertainly. “As… violent as these alleged time loops have made him, I’m sure Shuichi wouldn’t give up a second time simply because Monokuma wouldn’t give him the information he wanted.”

Kokichi wasn’t sure about that one. He didn’t know exactly what Shuichi would have done, but he was glad he was in a timeline where Monokuma complied.

It’d really suck for everyone otherwise.

The Exisal hangar was just as Kokichi left it. Everyone made a beeline for the shutter, which was closed for the record, but with a little alarm remote privilege and K1-B0 using his Electrohammer on the panel, they were back inside within minutes.

Now came his least favorite part: convincing Shuichi’s overprotective friends that he didn’t murder their beloved detective. In his defense, Shuichi was also his beloved detective and he would never think about hurting him. Intentionally. But that wasn’t the point right now!

“Kaito! Maki! Can you hear us?” K1-B0 shouted past the Exisal, which was still sitting dormant against the bathroom door, preventing anyone from getting past it. “We’re here to free you!”

Although muffled, Kokichi heard what he guessed was Maki’s voice. “Keebo? It’s about time.”

“Hurry up and get us outta here!” Kaito shouted, although his voice was significantly weaker. “I’ve got some words I’ve gotta give to Shuichi!”

“They’re in for a surprise…” Himiko commented dryly.

“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.” Kokichi reached into his pocket and retrieved the Exisal remote. He needed a bag or something like Shuichi had had– he had way too much stuff on him. Hell, he had two Electrobombs hidden in his scarf as well. Maybe he should get a sparkly purse or something– he can make it checker themed.

Whoops, thoughts got off track. Anyways.

Himiko, Tsumugi and K1-B0 all scrambled far out of the way of the Exisal as Kokichi piloted it away from the door. Its footsteps were loud and thunderous, especially when he was standing right next to i–

Hands wrapped around his throat, and his vision went white with how hard his head hit the floor.

What the–

What the fuck–!?

Being choked wasn’t new to him, and as he met the cold, red eyes boring into his, he realized what was happening pretty fast.

Maki was trying to strangle him to death.

“Maki!” Multiple people cried out at once, but Kokichi could barely hear them. His ears were still ringing. Might have hit his head a little too hard.

Fuck, fuck, fuck– “You– Y-You’d really… kill m-me… i-in fro– hhk, hhkkggh–!”

He couldn’t get the words out. His vision was blackening around the edges, and despite the pain around his throat and chest, his body felt strangely numb.

(“You know what death is? Nothing. You’re there, and then you’re not. Everything just stops…”)

No, Kokichi didn’t want to die. He couldn’t fight but he didn’t want to die.

“I couldn’t kill you last night,” Maki hissed in his ear, her voice sounding so close yet so far away all at the same time. “But I won't fail again.”

I’m going to die.

If she did that, the killing game would continue.

But if Shuichi’s right, I’ll be back anyway.

He wouldn’t know it. He didn’t want to lose his memories. He didn’t want to die.

Fuck, he really doesn’t want to die–!

And then, as suddenly as it had been taken from him, air rushed through his nose and mouth, and he inhaled so hard it hurt. He choked on his own ragged breath, struggling to steady his breathing and effectively making himself lightheaded.

Someone placed a hand on his shoulder, carefully helping him sit up. He hated that he could feel tears pricking his eyes– tears from the pain in his head and neck and wow did getting choked usually hurt this bad? The last two times Maki had suspended him by the neck hadn’t been as bad as this, but maybe that was because his head hadn’t been violently bashed into the ground beforehand. Or did he just fall and hit his head? Maki moved so fast he didn’t even know.

I probably should’ve seen that one coming, he thought as soon as he found the mental capacity to think again. Stupid me. Yes, let’s stand in the direct line of eyesight of the girl with murderous rage that has been brewing over night. That’s an awesome idea.

“You can’t kill him, Maki!” Kaito was shouting at the assassin, which he found immensely satisfying. “I don’t care who’s the mastermind, you can’t kill anyone.”

“That’s the only reason I came to the hangar in the first place,” Maki snapped. “To kill the mastermind. This killing game was going to end.”

“But Shuichi says he might not be the mastermind,” interjected Himiko, who was surprisingly blocking Maki’s path to Kokichi.

Kaito perked up. “You talked to Shuichi?”

“We can explain everything, but we can’t be fighting each other!” K1-B0 exclaimed, and that’s when Kokichi realized that the robot was the one who was helping him sit upright. “Please, hear us out.”

Despite how dizzy he felt, he slapped away K1-B0’s hand– or at least tried to. His aim was a tiny bit sloppy. It had its intended effect though, because K1-B0 released him.

“Kokichi, are you okay?” Tsumugi asked him anxiously. “You look plainly concussed…”

“It’s not the first time I’ve hit my head,” Kokichi quipped as he struggled to his feet. As embarrassing as it would be to fall at all, he stayed close to K1-B0. Just in case. “Jeez, Maki! With how intent you are on– on killing me, I’m surprised you’re not the mastermind.”

Maki glowered at him, as if she could kill him through the sheer force of her eyeballs.

His hand was shaking as he reached into his scarf, and he presented Shuichi’s note. It was difficult to force a smile, and the one he did form was half-hearted.

“This is from Shuichi,” Kokichi told them, his voice hoarse. His throat was throbbing with agony. “And he said some pretty interesting things~★”

“How about you read it?” K1-B0 suggested to the two. “Shuichi claims some pretty… unbelievable things.”

“We’re not even sure if the note came from Shuichi,” Himiko griped.

“Yes. Kokichi is the one who gave us that note,” K1-B0 explained, and Kokichi did not appreciate the immediate suspicious looks he got from Kaito and Maki. “We found him in Shuichi’s room. He claimed that Shuichi drugged and handcuffed him after attacking the hangar last night. If you can corroborate his story, we can confirm the note’s legitimacy–” 

“I wouldn’t say he attacked the hangar,” Kaito corrected the robot. “He had a gun, sure, but I don’t think he was actually going to hurt us. But, jeez… is that really what happened after we were locked in the bathroom…?”

Kokichi would laugh if his throat didn’t hurt so much.

“Y-You mean… the note is real…?” K1-B0 sputtered with a horrified look at Tsumugi. “That means Kokichi is telling the truth– Tsumugi! Are you really the mastermind!?”

“Hold on!” Tsumugi yelped. “J-Just because Shuichi attacked the hangar and kidnapped Kokichi doesn’t mean anything he wrote is real–!”

“But he knew about what I saw,” K1-B0 argued. “He knew that Himiko delivered Kaito his crossbow!”

“I did do that,” Himiko agreed, shuffling a step away from the cosplayer. “You’re the mastermind…? Tsumugi?”

Maki’s deadly gaze slowly turned to lock onto Tsumugi. Kaito’s turn was much less ominous, but his shock was much more obviously perceivable.

Tsumugi looked close to tears. “I’m not… no! Let’s have Kaito and Maki read his note! They’re his best friends, aren’t they!? M-Maybe they know something–”

“Give it up already, Tsumugi,” Kokichi cut her off. Her jaw clicked shut and she stared at him, simultaneous powerlessness and desperacy making her body shake. “We all know it’s you. No matter what Kaito and Maki think of his note, it won’t change facts. But if you’re really hung up about it, we could all head on over to the girls bathroom on the first floor.”

Tsumugi went still.

That was all the reaction Kokichi needed.

The first trial had always been fishy to him. Once he had gotten over the initial shock of Kaede being executed and really thought about it… it was a little odd. Who’s to say Kaede’s ball landed on Rantaro’s head, anyway? If it did, how did it create a blood splatter like that against the bookcase?

In hindsight, Tsumugi’s alibi for way back then wasn’t suspicious at all. It was unfortunate that she had to use the bathroom and leave her eye witnesses at the time of the murder, but sometimes people were just unlucky. It happens.

But knowing what he knew now… he could only see Tsumugi’s alibi as suspicious. That was pretty convenient timing for an already uncertain murder, and Tsumugi’s reaction pretty much gave herself away.

“Give me that.” Maki’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he forced himself to suppress a flinch as she took Shuichi’s note out of his hands.

“Be careful with it,” K1-B0 warned her as she unfolded the note with a little less care than Kokichi was comfortable with. “It’s the last thing we have from Shuichi, and Kokichi is taking his absence the hardest.”

“What Kokichi are you talking about?” Kokichi demanded with a glare at the robot. “What gave you the impression I cared at all?”

“You…” K1-B0 helplessly trailed off, seeming to realize there was no point in arguing. “You are very confusing to me.”

“Of course a robot wouldn’t understand the complexicity of human beings,” Kokichi sneered.

“Would you shut up?” Maki snapped at him before K1-B0 could retaliate. “I’m trying to read this.”

“Yeah, give us a sec,” agreed Kaito, who was leaning over Maki’s shoulder to look at the note.

Begrudgingly, Kokichi closed his mouth. He didn’t like being bossed around but for the sake of progression, he’d let those two focus.

It only took a minute or two. Much to his shock, it was Kaito who finished first, averting his eyes with a tsk. Maki finished shortly after, lifting her head to stare at Tsumugi.

“Damn it…” Kaito cursed quietly. “Shuichi… is it really true? Are we really in some sorta simulation…?”

“As insane as it sounds, I believe that is the only possible explanation for all of this,” said K1-B0, his voice grim with certainty. “Which means… he is correct about Tsumugi as well.”

Now everyone was looking at Tsumugi, who knew there was no way out of this. She had to know it was pointless– she’d never make it if she ran, and there wasn’t a soul in the room who didn’t believe she was the mastermind. There was no way to talk herself out of this one.

“I…” Tsumugi tried, beads of sweat profusely rolling down the side of her face. “I’m not…”

“There’s no point in trying to deny it,” Kokichi told her, unable to stop himself from grinning at her. “This entire killing game has taken place in a simulation. There’s no other way to explain how Shuichi knows what he knows. You are the mastermind, Tsumugi Shirogane.”

“That Flashback Light… was it real?” Maki questioned darkly. “Is Kokichi really a Remnant of Despair? Does Junko Enoshima even exist?”

Kokichi wasn’t sure what a “Remnant of Despair” or a “Junko Enoshima” was, but it certainly seemed to ring a bell for everyone else, sans Kaito.

“Nyeh? The Flashback Light… was fake?” Himiko asked, thoughtfully bringing a finger to her chin. “How could that be, though?”

“Think about it this way,” Kokichi offered simply. “If there’s technology to remove specific memories, who’s to say there isn’t technology to give us false memories? Riiiight, Tsumugi?”

Tsumugi was holding her arm, not looking at anything in particular.

“Something about this doesn't feel right,” Kaito commented following a lapse of tense silence. “It’s not that I don’t believe Shuichi– I don’t think he’s lying at all. He’s not the type of guy to do that. But something he wrote really caught my attention.”

“What are you talking about?” Maki asked the astronaut, sounding faintly exasperated.

“He said that Tsumugi was going to be just as mad at that team as we were,” Kaito recalled. He placed a hand on his hip, frowning deeply. “I don’t get why that’d be. I mean, you’d think the mastermind and that team would be working together, right? Why would Shuichi think otherwise?”

That was also something Kokichi had found strange, and he was honestly relieved that Kaito was the one to bring it up. As stupid as he was, he did have an eye for people. His intuition was pretty good as much as Kokichi hated to admit it.

“Tsumugi,” Kaito said to the mastermind, who finally looked at him. “If you’re the mastermind, just tell us! We’ve got to know if the team Shuichi mentioned screwed you over, too.”

“Work together with the mastermind?” Kokichi couldn’t help but scoff. “Were you dropped on your head as a baby?”

“That is only if Shuichi’s theory is right,” K1-B0 reminded the astronaut. “She could very well be working with the team.”

“But if she isn’t, that makes her a valuable ally, doesn’t it?” Kaito argued, moving to stand beside Tsumugi. “It sounds like we have a bigger enemy, and that’s the team that put us all into this simulation in the first place! If even Tsumugi didn’t want to be in here, she has all the reason to fight that team with us. It’s beneficial for all of us!”

“Who’s to say anything Shuichi said was real…?” Tsumugi protested weakly. “A simulation? Isn’t that plain crazy!?”

“Miu already proved that stuff like that can exist,” Himiko reminded her, albeit hesitantly. “It’s hard to be surprised when we’ve gone through this before.”

“The more you fight, the more pathetic you look~! ♪” Kokichi added, simply to be mean.

“We need all the help we can get,” Kaito insisted, shooting him a warning glare. “Just admit it, Tsumugi. Tell us everything you know.”

Tsumugi sidled a step away from him. She was holding herself, simultaneous panic and dismay and uncertainty creating a complex expression on her face. She was afraid, Kokichi knew that much– afraid of what would come next. And she should be. Kokichi didn’t intend to let the mastermind off scot-free, no matter how much she worked with the “team”.

Kaito does kind of have a point, his brain traitorously whispered. She’d have valuable information as the mastermind. Knowing what she does and doesn’t know will help us figure out what’s happening. It’s not like it’d matter if she backstabbed us, anyway.

Information. That’s it. Kaito could whine about friendship or belief or whatever it was he was preaching, but he was right on one thing: Tsumugi had some intel Kokichi was getting one way or another.

Finally, finally. Tsumugi sighed.

“It was supposed to be revealed next chapter… but I guess things have already plainly gone off the rails.”

She lifted her glasses with one hand and turned her head. When she looked back at everyone, her eyes were a searing, terrifying shade of blue. Blue like ice. Blue like fire. A blue that sent a cold shiver of raw, unadulterated wrongness down his spine. That wasn’t right. No person’s eyes should hold that much malice.

“Fine. You’re right.” Tsumugi’s voice was strained, as if her words physically pained her. “I am the mastermind. This is way off script and not at all how I wanted things to go, but there’s not much I can do to fix it at this point.”

“So it is true…” K1-B0 murmured, noticeably tensing.

“Script?” Maki repeated, her expression darkening into something much more dangerous instantaneously.

As she adjusted her glasses, Tsumugi’s lips pulled taut. “We had a script to define how this season was supposed to go. I actually got to write it all myself– the protagonist was going to kill someone in the first chapter, and the deuteragonist would take their place for the rest of the game. Of course, there were also little things like the third chapter double murder and the fourth chapter’s culprit, but a lot of stuff was left up to the characters I wrote: all of you.”

Fourth chapter… does she mean the fourth case? She planned Gonta’s crime?

Kokichi stared at her, carefully wiping his expression blank.

Is she trying to tell me I’m just a “character” she wrote?

“But…” Tsumugi’s smug demeanor fell, and she likely narrowly avoided being lunged at by Maki, who looked outwardly murderous now. “Even I’m doubting myself now. I guess that team Shuichi was talking about could be Team Danganronpa, who are the producers of this show, but… this is the first I’m hearing of a simulation.”

“So I was right,” Kokichi blurted out. “This killing game was being shown to someone as entertainment.”

“This was meant to be Danganronpa’s fifty-third season,” Tsumugi lamented. “I really shouldn’t be telling you this… but Danganronpa is a long-running, beloved television show worldwide. Or at least… I thought so…”

“Y-You… You thought so?” K1-B0 stammered, still seeming to be reeling from the sudden information dump that had been dropped on their heads.

“According to the lore, the Jabberwock Island killing game took place inside a simulation called the Neo World Program,” the mastermind explained, her voice casual as if she were talking about the weather. “It was made as a hope rehabilitation program for the fifteen Remnants of Despair, including the big baddie themself, Izuru Kamukura. This wasn’t in my script at all… and stuff like hyper-realistic simulations don’t actually exist in real life… we only recently invented the Blackout and Flashback Lights. That’s why I’m so plainly confused– I don’t know what’s going on.”

Izuru Kamukura.

Oh, his brain did not like that. He could barely keep his eyes open from the sharp jab of discomfort that shot through the side of his skull.

“Wait wait wait, this is all some TV show!?” Kaito burst out, which Kokichi found hilariously ironic considering he was the one whining about cooperation earlier. “What the hell do you mean we’re characters!?”

“I don’t even know if anything I tell you now is true or not because even I don’t know what’s outside anymore!” Tsumugi shouted back with an uncharacteristic stroke of assertiveness. “I thought it was strange when I lost my line of connection with Team Danganronpa so early on… I can’t ask them if they went against my script or not. I don’t remember ever entering a simulation, and they can’t manipulate my memories without my consent! It’s against the company’s policy!”

“Your company runs a killing game for entertainment,” Kokichi snorted. “I don’t think they care about policy.”

“How does a company even run something like this legally?” Maki wondered, which wasn’t something Kokichi had considered yet. “Contract or no contract, this seems pretty hard to get past the law.”

“Even so… highly advanced simulations don’t exist yet,” Tsumugi fretted. “We have virtual reality, but nothing near as advanced enough to give us an experience like… this.” She gestured vaguely to the surrounding hangar.

“Oh!” K1-B0 perked up suddenly, his eyes going wide. “I believe I may understand what Shuichi’s theory was!”

“You do…?” asked Himiko, who was hiding her face under her hat.

“The Jabberwock Island killing game– what are the chances that is a nonfiction event?” K1-B0 suggested. “If so, that likely means the “season” that took place before it is also nonfiction.”

Tsumugi’s face went deathly pale. “Umm… if that’s the case, then that means the Tragedy actually happened… oh.” Understanding suddenly washed over her expression. “I guess that’d explain a lot, wouldn’t it? If a bunch of despairs took inspiration from the killing games.”

That word again. “Despair”. Kokichi scowled at the mastermind. What is that supposed to mean? Why does it keep coming up?

“You mean the meteors actually hit…!?” K1-B0 exclaimed in pure horror.

“Well…” Tsumugi trailed off for a moment, cupping her cheek in one hand. “Kokichi was right about one thing. The Flashback Light memories are all almost entirely fake. Alright, I guess I can explain…”

Chapter Text

Tsumugi’s theory went like this.

The team that put them into the Neo World Program was a pretty powerful group of people who wanted to see more of what she called “Danganronpa”, otherwise referred to as the killing games. Right now, there was no telling if anything they knew was fictional or not, but one thing was for certain; the Tragedy did happen, and Tsumugi did not orchestrate the killing game.

Instead, she had begrudgingly assumed that the role was pushed onto her from the very start, and the Flashback Lights only reinforced that at the same time they further painted a false narrative for everybody including herself. According to the story the team placed into her head, everyone agreed to the killing game prior, but she didn’t know whether or not that was truly the case.

As it turned out, Shuichi was right. Tsumugi did end up being angry at the team, if not angrier than everyone else. Granted, she said she was only mad because that meant that her beloved TV show didn’t exist but Kokichi would take what he could get.

Now that the killing game had pretty much stopped entirely, no one knew what to do. They had as much as the picture as they could get now, and that was that. The only way he knew to leave the simulation was to break the End Wall, but…

“I’m still not sure where Shuichi found that bomb,” Tsumugi had admitted when he brought it up. “I didn’t even know we had bombs at the Ark.”

“They won’t have a spare set of gloves but they’ll have explosives…” Himiko sighed at the time. “This place really is a death academy.”

On that cheerful note, Kaito suggested something else; why don’t they look for the hole Shuichi already made in the End Wall? It couldn’t be that hard to find– all they’d have to do was circle the perimeter of the End Wall and eventually they’d stumble across it.

K1-B0 pointed out that this was exactly what Shuichi had asked them not to do. Kaito argued that Shuichi wasn’t in his right mind and that he might need their help. For once, Kokichi agreed with him– Shuichi had even confessed that he was worried about what dying continuously would do to his brain. There was no way he was thinking clearly.

Well, believe it or not, they did find the place Shuichi used the bomb. It was far behind Tenko’s Ultimate Research Lab, completely out of sight from anyone who wasn’t looking for it. The ground around the affected area was very burnt, clumps of dirt having been uprooted and sprayed everywhere from the initial blast.

There was just one tiny problem.

“Huh!? Wasn’t there supposed to be a hole here?” Kaito asked, feeling and pressing against the End Wall with his hands.

“Do you think the bomb didn’t work…?” Himiko wondered. “Or maybe breaking the End Wall is impossible…”

“It shouldn't be,” Tsumugi imputed. She was standing close to Maki, who had offered to keep an eye on the mastermind to make sure she didn’t get up to any funny business. “After all, Shuichi managed to get out, didn’t he?”

“He likely would have shown himself by now if he hadn’t,” K1-B0 agreed in a murmur. “At least, I assume he would… his actions are difficult to predict when I haven’t seen this changed version of him.”

Changed version of him. Kokichi couldn’t help but frown at that. It wasn’t Shuichi’s fault he got stuck in a time loop– it was technically Kokichi’s, for setting off that Electrobomb in the first place.

“Aha!” Kokichi snapped his fingers and turned to K1-B0. “I know! Keeboy, how about you run into the wall as hard as you possibly can?”

“Wh-Why on earth would I do that!?” K1-B0 demanded in alarm.

“‘cause then the impact will make all your robot parts implode and you’ll blast a hole right in the side of the End Wall!” Kokichi exclaimed, as if this were common sense.

K1-B0 blanched, looking horrified. “What are you suggesting I do–!?”

“Quit fighting,” Maki snapped at the two of them. “I think I know why there’s no hole.”

“Nyeh? You do?” asked Himiko.

Kaito grinned, shooting a thumbs up in her direction. “That’s my Maki Roll. Go ahead and tell ‘em.”

The nickname made Maki scowl even deeper, and she fiddled with her bow to avoid looking at the astronaut. Ah, idiots in love. Kokichi was stunned that Kaito had survived this killing game for so long.

“In his note, Shuichi refers to the announcements as trigger resets,” Maki explained. “Those only started because the simulation couldn’t function without Monokuma knowing the culprit, right? It tried to correct itself.”

“Ah, I get it,” Tsumugi hummed. “The morning announcement had to have fixed the wall.”

Maki didn’t look too happy about Tsumugi contributing to the conversation in such a casual manner. She replied with a simple, “yeah.” and left it at that.

“But if leaving the bounds of the… map, as he called it, is how you exit the simulation, why would the simulation need to fix that?” K1-B0 wondered with an inquisitive look down at the scorched dirt. “The survivors of the killing game would have to leave the simulation eventually.”

“Exactly,” Kokichi said. He placed his hands behind his head, leaning back on his heels. “Survivors. Shuichi left alone. The simulation probably didn't like that. That proooobably means we shouldn’t blow up the wall again, considering the simulation is already pretty broken.”

“How were we supposed to know to leave through the End Wall anyway?” Himiko grumped, her shoulders slouched. She must be taking all this pretty hard, Kokichi thought. “Everyone who did survive… there’s no way we would have known to blow up the End Wall.”

“Maybe Team Danganronpa was going to let us out,” Tsumugi mused idly. “...let you out, anyway. The mastermind is always executed at the end. That’s the one part I wasn’t really looking forward to.”

No one cares about your mastermind angst, Kokichi wanted to snap at her.

He didn’t. He really wasn't in the mood to fight at the moment. All he could think about was Shuichi.

What could he possibly have been thinking? Kokichi couldn’t imagine having to remember dying over and over again, stuck in a time loop where his only chance of escape was far out of reach. The only reason Shuichi even tried after everything was because of a one in a million chance– appearing on Jabberwock Island.

Kokichi wondered. Was Shuichi afraid through it all? Angry because he had the misfortune of remembering it? Relieved with the chance of saving his friends? He had to have been happy about being given a second chance to save Kaito, even if he wasn’t sure who was under the hydraulic press at first.

It was hard to know. Shuichi had lived through weeks in just one repeating night. He had changed because of that time, memories forever lost on everyone else. They would never truly know how hard Shuichi tried to save them– he was pushed far enough to murder someone! Awkward, sweet, loveable Shuichi, slitting someone's throat in a last, fleeting attempt to stop his own torment.

Whether Shuichi was right about the act of rapidly dying and being rejuvenated having effects on someone’s brain or not, there was one simple truth to the matter. Dying changes you as a person. Coming back from the most permanent thing in the world isn’t something most people can just brush off.

Shuichi must know that. Right?

“So what do we do?” K1-B0’s question drew Kokichi out of his troubled thoughts. “Should we search for another explosive?”

“Nah, Kokichi’s right. Messing with the simulation any more might get us hurt,” Kaito sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “And… I’ll be honest, I’m running on fumes, here.”

Maki’s eyes flashed with alarm and she flinched forward, looking torn between staying close to Tsumugi and making sure Kaito didn’t keel over.

“You mean… your health?” K1-B0 guessed worriedly.

“Hey Tsumugi, did you do that?” Himiko asked the mastermind. “Did you make Kaito sick?”

Ooh, that was something Kokichi had been wondering about. He could tell Tsumugi wasn’t expecting to be asked this either, because she blinked at the mage with her creepy blue eyes in surprise.

“It was supposed to be a driving point to push the plague narrative,” Tsumugi explained once she recovered. “There’s not really a cure for it. Leaving the simulation is his best bet, I’d think.”

Maki looked just about ready to shatter the End Wall with her bare hands. “Leaving the simulation will cure him?”

“Hey, I’m not dying or anything,” Kaito interjected hurriedly. “Unless things get drastic, I don’t want to make any more of these trigger resets or whatever to happen.”

“It’d be trouble if we reset the time loop,” K1-B0 agreed, albeit a little slowly. “But Kaito, for your health, and to help Shuichi–”

Kaito clenched his jaw and looked away from the robot, balling his hand into a fist. “I want to help Shuichi, don’t get me wrong. He needs help whether that Team Danganronpa is there or not. He’s gonna get himself hurt if he keeps going like this. But…"

“But you can’t go on much further,” Maki finished for him. “And you don’t want to take any risks if you can’t handle them yourself.”

At that, Kaito was quiet. And that’s honestly what Kokichi had been suspecting from the start.

Well, if they weren’t breaking out of here because Kaito was afraid of a little risk, then fine. Kokichi could work with that.

(He was ignoring the relief he felt deep in his chest. Even if he didn't remember it, he didn’t want the time loop to start again. The thought of dying over and over was terrifying to him, and Kokichi wasn’t this scared of much.)

“Shuichi said the time loop restarted at night,” Kokichi recalled. “So let’s round back up in the courtyard after the nighttime announcement if we all haven’t been blasted back into the time loop. We can figure out what to do from there without worrying about those dumb trigger resets. Okay?”

“But what if… something happens?” Himiko shot a nervous look at Tsumugi. “What if–”

“I’m not gonna do anything,” Tsumugi interrupted her. “There’s no point. I love the killing games with all my heart and soul, but if Team Danganronpa abandoned the project like Shuichi speculated they did, then I don’t see a reason to try.”

“E-Even so, I’m gonna keep an eye on you,” Himiko declared with a sudden burst of determination. “I have to make sure nothing else crazy happens. ‘cause… I’m already way too confused.”

Tsumugi stared at her. “That’s… fine by me, I guess. I’m gonna go to my lab and work. Even if it’s not real, it’s still how I relieve stress, y’know?”

“I’m gonna go rest,” Kaito decided. “I’ve gotta get pumped up for tonight. And it’ll be nice lying in a real bed again!”

What a way to subtly jab at Kokichi. At least it gave him the perfect opportunity to remove himself from the conversation.

“You guys can do whatever. I’m gonna go back to my room,” Kokichi announced, already turning on his heel. “I’ve got a wax effigy to vent to. Make sure you’re in the courtyard by nighttime~!”

Without caring to elaborate, Kokichi bounded off. It was difficult to keep himself from sprinting, and his footsteps did speed up when he was out of sight of his classmates, but at least he had a dignified exit.

In truth, Kokichi was very tired and sore. Between the stress that came from their newfound situation, the throbbing ache in his wrists, and the lingering pain in his neck from nearly having the life choked out of him was really starting to take a toll on him. A moment to be alone sounded lovely right now, and it was a moment he’d gladly take.

(“Goodbye, Kokichi. I hope we’ll meet again.”)

Kokichi closed his eyes, letting out a barely calming breath.

For someone who wasn’t dead, Shuichi sure did like to haunt him.

***

It was a clinic.

Since thoughts were a little hard at the moment, he was trying to keep it simple.

The place he and his friends were trapped in was a clinic. An abandoned clinic, but a clinic nonetheless. It was as if everyone had left in a hurry, leaving everything behind.

That was fine. That meant he had materials to work with. Like the water in the fridge he had tried to drink. It was tangy and stale. It tasted old, and he choked on it the minute it tried to enter his throat. Not because it was bad or anything, but simply because his body didn’t remember how to swallow.

The amount of time it took him to get accustomed to his body again was embarrassing. The amount of time it took him to even remember he was a functional human being was embarrassing. Getting out of that capsule had been hell in itself– his limbs would not collaborate with him. His entire body ached from being immobile for so long. His body was different. His hair was too long. There were scars on his arms he didn’t remember receiving. He was far too skinny, making every slight touch feel like pin needles against his delicate skin.

Overwhelming, that’s what it was. He almost considered going back into the simulation and living there forever.

He couldn’t. His friends were counting on him. And… the strangest part…

There were heart monitors attached to every capsule. Fifteen of those heart monitors showed activity. The only one that didn’t was the one he had come from.

He tried not to think about what that meant. He really, really didn’t want to think about it.

Walking was hard. Obviously. He felt like he was at war with his own body. If he tried to take a step forward, he would overestimate just how far that step had been and end up toppling over. Using the wall as support was difficult because whoops, apparently he forgot how to process balance so now he felt nauseous at all times and also maybe gravity didn’t exist. Crawling wasn’t an option, because his hair was getting in the way and why was it so long? Why wasn’t it short like it was supposed to be? Gonta, a boy, had long hair and he was fine so why did it feel so terrible? Was it because he wasn’t–

No. He didn’t want to think about it. 

When he made it to the front lobby, he wasn’t completely surprised to find it trashed. All the windows were shattered, letting the suffocating, thick, dust-ridden air to roll into the building and enter his lungs.

When he looked outside, he honestly wasn’t sure what he was expecting. But a ruined city hadn’t been very high on his expectations.

It reminded him of what had been on the end of the Death Road of Despair. At least the air wasn’t toxic– only painful. Like breathing in smoke.

That was something he could spiral about later. If there was nothing for him outside, he’d have to stay inside. No help was coming his way.

With that in mind, he closed his attention to the clinic alone. He spent a significant amount of time investigating the entire building, blacking out more often than he’d like as he pushed the limits of his already weak body to the extremes. 

The only thing he found of note was, in one of the patient rooms, there was old blood splattered all over the walls and floor and every piece of medical equipment. The sight made him sick to his stomach, so he closed the door and pushed a chair in front of it in a feeble attempt to seal it off. He didn’t want to know what had happened in there.

Aside from that, he found nothing of value. Some rooms were interesting, like the handcuffs on the beds and clear signs of fights, but there wasn’t anything he could use. The team must have packed up everything and ditched the project altogether.

Why, though? Why would they leave behind something they obviously put an incredible amount of effort into? Monokuma even pointed out how impossible it was that they got their grubby, despair-ridden hands on the Neo World Program in the first place. It didn’t make sense to abandon that kind of effort.

After all that investigating and inner turmoil, he was sitting back in the room with all his friends. He was very relieved to finally give his poor body a rest, but he wasn’t going to allow himself to fall asleep. He was afraid he wouldn’t wake back up.

The reason he left the simulation was to rescue his friends. However, sitting in front of the actual machine now, he had no idea where to start. This wasn’t like Miu’s virtual world– this looked infinitely more complicated, with many wires and screens and all kinds of things that he had no idea what to do with. If Miu were here, maybe she’d be able to figure it out, but she wasn’t. Her body was in one of those green capsules, and…

…no matter what that heart monitor said, she was dead. She had to be dead. He wasn’t able to save her like he saved Kokichi.

Koki…

Right. He didn’t know what was happening in there, and he knew that his friends were depending on him– at least, that is if Kokichi decided to be a team player. He could very well be making things worse simply out of spite for what he did to him.

He shook his head to clear himself of the thought. The only thing that mattered right now was that he got his friends out of this simulation. Kokichi could do whatever he wanted so long as no one else died.

Well, he wasn’t going to make progress just sitting here. He’d have to be extremely cautious messing with it, but he had to at least try to free his friends.

Trying was all he could do.

It was the sound of doors slamming open in the distance that woke him up.

He must have dozed off while trying to figure out how the program functioned. He had managed to pull up some alarmingly detailed vitals on all his friends, which was what led him to the “report cards” he used to be able to access on his Monopad. The farthest he got was being able to access the Monopad interface itself, which was a pretty big accomplishment in his eyes considering he had zero idea what he was doing.

His neck and shoulders ached as he sat up, wishing he could fall back into his blissful slumber. Sleeping forever sounded a lot more favorable than dealing with the people he could hear drawing ever-closer to the r-

“People?” he whispered, standing up from his chair and looking at the closed door behind him. He could definitely hear people in the building– voices shouting orders and the sound of closed doors being kicked down.

The panic that erupted within him was so overwhelming he nearly cried out, but he had to figure something out fast. People! In the building! Wasn’t the outside a radioactive wasteland!? How were there people here suddenly?

No time to think. He didn’t know who they were– the team? People just raiding the building for supplies?– but he couldn't risk it being a malicious group. He wasn’t sure what he could do against what sounded like a bunch of adults, considering that even taking a few steps forward took every ounce of energy he had left, but he wasn’t going to do nothing.

So how could he defend himself? Blocking the door would slow them down, but that’d be near definitive proof that there were people inside. The element of surprise would give him a bit of an advantage, but without a weapon, his weak, stick arms were useless.

With that in mind, there wasn’t much around that he could use for self-defense. His best chance was the broom left in the corner by, he assumed, the team. Maybe he could hit someone with it…?

I’m doomed, was his only thought as he seized the broom and pressed himself against the wall by the doors. Those doors opened inward, so he would be hidden for at least a few moments. That’d give him the chance to see if he could assess what these people intended to do, and if he should attack first.

Fear like this wasn’t something he had felt in a while– the last time he could think he was this afraid was when he was shot by Maki in whatever loop that was. This was different though– he wasn’t in the simulation, and by extension, the time loop. If he got himself hurt or killed, there were no second chances awaiting him. 

Don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t the thought of dying that scared him. It was the thought of not coming back.

The doors opened suddenly. He bit his tongue, trying his best to keep his breathing quiet as he watched a woman enter the room. It was hard to make out any details of her in the dark, but he did hear her inhale upon seeing all of the capsules.

“Makoto,” she called over her shoulder, thankfully not seeming to notice him hiding behind the open door. “In here.”

“Did you find them?” Another person asked– Makoto, he assumed. Moments later, he heard that same person gasp. “Damn it… it really isn’t a fluke…”

The woman walked close to the nearest capsule, and he tensed. If she tried to hurt his friends, or even their bodies– that was Ryoma’s capsule, after all– then he was going to have to retaliate. Maybe he could try and attack her friend? He was still standing by the door, so if Shuichi was lucky, he could use the broom handle to hold against “Makoto’s” throat. It may not be very effective against an adult, but–

“They’re not dead,” the woman announced after a moment. “It looks like those people made some adjustments to the Neo World Program.”

“Yeah, the heart monitors are definitely new,” Makoto agreed, joining the woman’s side to peer into the capsule. Moment passed. “Ah… Kyoko, you see that?”

“I do.” The woman must be “Kyoko”. As her head began to turn, he quickly ducked fully behind the door, his fists aching with how hard he was clenching the broom.

“One of them is out,” Makoto observed. From his hiding spot, he saw the man approach the capsule he had previously occupied. “Has Byakuya called with any reports on the broadcast?”

The… broadcast?

“Nothing new to report,” said the woman. “They still only just moved past Kirumi Tojo’s execution, which means it isn’t being broadcasted live. It was pre-recorded.”

“But the killing game isn’t over if only one of them is awake,” Makoto pointed out. “And more importantly… where are they? Who left the simulation?”

Kirumi. These people had watched four of his friends die. Bitterness brewed deep in his chest, but something told him that these two hadn’t been watching the killing game– which was apparently being broadcasted worldwide?– for their enjoyment. They were here now, and they knew about the Neo World Program. If they were part of the team, they’d know ahead of time that the killing game was pre-recorded.

So if they weren’t here to put him back in… then were they here to help?

It felt too good to be true. The chances of people coming to save him and his classmates in just a mere day or two was improbable. They said they had seen Kirumi’s execution, didn’t they? That was over a week after the killing game had started. Maybe they really were members of the team–!

“They couldn’t have gone far,” Kyoko stated, which was a little terrifying to hear. Her firm voice was matter-of-fact, the kind of person who’d be difficult to argue with. “Check all of the pods and we can deduce who’s missing, I’m going to check the program.”

“Oh, good idea.”

Oh crap.

Peeking out from behind the door again, he watched the two adults move to their respective tasks. Kyoko took to the computer screen he had been at and Makoto began peering into all of the capsules one by one. He didn’t care if they knew it was him who had escaped or not, what he did worry about was–

“Someone’s been using this computer.”

–that. He didn’t even think to hide the evidence of his work.

“Huh? Really?” Makoto stopped what he was doing to join her side.

“Recently, too. The seat is still warm,” Kyoko observed, which was yet another point he didn’t take into account. “They must have been trying to get their classmates out when they heard us coming and hid.”

“Hid?” Makoto echoed.

“Think about it. No matter who it was that escaped, they’d have no way of being able to tell whether we were a threat or not,” Kyoko pointed out. “They heard us breaking down those doors and hid from us before we found our way here.”

“Because they didn’t know if we were going to hurt them or not…” Makoto murmured, sounding almost… sad? Was he hearing this right? “So they’re probably still inside the building… which means it shouldn’t be too hard to find them. The problem is how are we going to convince them that we’re here to help? I don’t imagine telling them we’re from Future Foundation will work.”

Future Foundation? Where had he heard that recently? Someone mentioned it, but… he couldn’t remember who…

“With our current situation, no,” Kyoko concurred. “You can convince them to come out. Although if I’m correct… they might have been convinced already.”

He froze.

“You think…?” Makoto didn’t have to say it– he seemed to catch on to what she meant almost instantly.

“It’s a possibility,” was all Kyoko said on the matter. “I’m going to go out and call Byakuya. We’re going to need people here as fast as possible.”

“Should we get… you-know-who on the project?” Makoto inquired as he heard Kyoko’s heeled footsteps moving towards the door.

“We might, depending on its complexity,” Kyoko replied vaguely. “We don’t know what that group did to it, and I want to avoid calling him out here so long as we can help it. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Okay. Be careful, Kyoko.”

“There’s nothing I can’t handle.”

That was what she left Makoto with.

And it was also when she closed the door he was hiding behind.

It was only when he locked eyes with Makoto that he realized what just happened, and in that moment, it was as if his brain shut down. Not a single thought came to mind other than, she totally did that on purpose.

“Oh,” Makoto said after a moment. He blinked, glancing at where Kyoko had just disappeared to, before offering him a small smile. “Hello there… Shuichi, right? What are you doing behind there? With… a broom?”

He glanced down at his makeshift weapon, which had turned out to be useless. He released his grip on it, letting it fall to the floor.

“Oh… was it self defense?” Makoto guessed. He nodded slightly, and Makoto hummed. “I guess it’s better than nothing… but it won’t be necessary. My name is Makoto Naegi, and I’m part of the Future Foundation. Me and my friends are here to stop the killing game you unfortunately took part in. I… I apologize that we didn’t get here sooner.”

Well if there was one thing he wasn’t expecting, it was an apology.

“Do you want to sit down?” Makoto suggested, pulling out the chair he had been using. The man’s tone had a tinge of awkwardness to it, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to do. He could understand that– he didn’t know what to do either.

Swallowing thickly, he forced his legs forward. These people were here to help his friends, and they would definitely have more luck than he would when it came to messing with the simulation. Or, to be more specific, the Neo World Program.

Hesitantly, he sat down. It felt nice to give his aching legs a rest.

“There you go,” Makoto murmured quietly. “You’re probably… pretty out of the loop, huh?”

His head swiveled to look at the man. “What’s… that s–supposed… to m–mean?”

Trying to speak was like rubbing his throat across sandpaper. His words came out hoarse, scratchy and barely coherent, but that was the least of his concerns. Was that supposed to be a joke about his predicament? Was this guy really part of the team that had trapped him in there and was just putting on some act to gain his trust and shove him back in when he let his guard down? That was just what Tsumugi had done; listened to him talk until opportunity revealed itself, and she took that chance to kill him on the spot–

“I just mean you must be confused!” Makoto explained hurriedly, probably having sensed his growing hostility. “About everything that’s happening. I was too, when I finally escaped the killing game… I was in. Since you escaped yours prematurely, I can’t imagine how confused you’d be.”

“...oh…” He felt a little silly for jumping to conclusions so quickly, but… this guy was in a killing game? Was he one of the people who were in the killing game performed on Jabberwock Island…?

“It sounds like talking is pretty hard…” Makoto observed. “Would you like some water?”

He shook his head. He tried that already and it hardly worked in his favor.

“Alright…” Makoto didn’t look like he knew what to do with that response. “Well, Shuichi… um, you are Shuichi Saihara, right?”

Shuichi blinked. For some reason, that sent a pang through his heart. “Do I… look… that different…?”

“Ehh…” Makoto hesitated, glancing him up and down. “Everyone looks at least a little different from how they are in the simulation.”

That’s not what I asked…

“Anyway,” Makoto said in an obvious attempt to change the subject, “we’re going to be taking you and all of your friends back to headquarters. We have a hospital there that you all can stay and recover in for… however long it takes for us to find you all some place to stay a little more permanently.”

“Perma…nent…?”

“This is a pretty… sensitive case,” Makoto explained with a slight frown in the direction of the nearest capsule. “We don’t know why that group left this place, or even how they got their hands on the Neo World Program. Since they did, they’ve proven that they’re highly cunning and dangerous, so we have to prioritize moving all of you to a safe location before anything else. Don’t worry, we’ll have guards on this building faster than you can blink.”

That was the question, wasn’t it? Why did the team abandon the project? Why did they choose him and his friends? Why would they do any of this, especially when it involved having to go through the trouble of stealing something so well guarded? Even Monokuma had brought up how difficult it was to steal it, so why? How? What happened?

“I have to ask,” Makoto spoke again, drawing him out of his thoughts. “How did you escape?”

Shuichi grimaced. This one wasn’t going to take too kindly to his throat.

The hospital was surprisingly nice.

It was empty, too.

As soon as all of Makoto and Kyoko’s Future Foundation friends arrived, it became kind of a problem when they told him he had to be transported to that hospital Makoto mentioned right away. Of course he argued– he didn’t want to be separated from his friends! He had to make sure they would be okay when they woke up. The thought of people like Kokichi and Maki waking up surrounded by all of these strange people was terrifying. He needed to be there to make sure they didn’t come out swinging.

That’s what he tried to tell Makoto and Kyoko, too. But they said that they had everything handled, to which he stubbornly replied that things were different now then what they had seen in the broadcast, and also he had left on a less than reassuring note so they would want to see him when they woke up. Kyoko argued that his body was weak and he needed to be in a place where he could be medically treated. Shuichi pointed out that he had been fine for the past day and he had handled worse in the simulation– plus, he needed to explain who Future Foundation was, since they would trust him more than a bunch of strangers.

Makoto compromised that if he went to the hospital, they would supply him with a phone and call frequently with updates. That was the best he was going to get, he begrudgingly accepted.

Now he was here. In a quiet room with only himself and the phone he was given. He was sure there was a nurse waiting just outside, prepared to leap into action should anything go awry. According to that nurse, two days had passed since he got here. He spent most of the time sleeping against his better judgment.

There wasn’t much to do in a hospital, apparently. Shuichi had never been to one before– not since he was very little anyway, but that was a long time ago and he hardly remembered it. In movies, usually people get visitors– their friends, their family… those people would come together to give the hospitalized their support, right? Offering comfort and gifts and good wishes. That didn’t happen for Shuichi– the only people who came into his room were nurses and occasionally doctors, making sure he was still alive. He tried not to talk to them very much. He saved his voice for when Makoto called.

It was lonely, in a sense. His friends from before the “Tragedy” were probably long gone, and likely didn’t even remember him if they were alive. All of his current friends were stuck in a computer simulation. His mom and dad… he tried calling their number, but he got no answer. The line went dead immediately. The same happened with his uncle and his aunt, though the phone did ring for at least a bit when he tried calling his uncle’s office. He really, really hoped that that was proof his family truly existed and weren’t just lies implanted in his head by the Flashback Lights.

There was no one who cared about him enough to visit him– no one who could care enough to visit. They were either dead or trapped, and if his family was still alive, they certainly had no way of knowing if he was alive. Maybe, once everything was sorted out, he could look for them. Maybe they were still alive.

On the morning of his third day here, there was a knock at his door, giving him enough time to prepare himself before a woman walked in. She had tanner skin and wore the same uniform as Kyoko and Makoto had.

“Hi,” she greeted him with a bright smile, stepping into the room. “I’m Aoi Asahina, part of Future Foundation. Makoto told me everything that was happening, so I thought I’d check in.”

Shuichi blinked at her.

“...why?” he asked quietly. He wasn’t against her being there or anything, he was just a little confused.

It appeared she was confused as well. “Well I finally got some time on my hands, so I decided to put it to good use. Everyone’s super busy lately… we’ve got our hands a bit full, hehe.”

“Oh.” Shuichi shrunk back slightly. “Sorry…”

“No, no! None of it is your fault,” Aoi was quick to reassure him. “Some of it Future Foundation kind of brought upon itself. Besides, we’re lucky that you escaped the Neo World Program, right?”

Ah, right. While he was alone here, he had a lot of time to think, and he had come to a few conclusions. The main thing he had been thinking about was what exactly triggered that broadcast, the thing that drew Future Foundation to the clinic. When he found out how long the broadcast had been running, it made a lot more sense. It was his departure from the program that started the broadcast, which had apparently been automatically edited to show only the “engaging” bits of the killing game. Apparently AI was sort of powerful in the real world, not that he was very surprised.

“I guess,” he agreed. “But I mean… why come see me? S-Surely you have better things to do.”

“Well, two things,” admitted Aoi. “One, I’ve been wanting to visit you since the moment you got here. I know how lonely things can get in a hospital, and especially since all your friends have been asleep. Which also brings me to point two– Kyoko asked me to deliver some news in person.”

“News?” Shuichi echoed, worry piercing his heart like a thin knife. “Wh-What news?”

“Nothing bad!” Aoi was quick to reassure him. “In fact, it’s actually really good. Kyoko managed to wake up some of your friends.”

That snapped Shuichi to attention. “She did? All of my friends?”

“Not all of them,” Aoi corrected him sheepishly. “Waking up people who died in the simulation is a lot harder, but surprisingly, the changes that team made to the Neo World Program work in our favor.”

Waking up everyone who died?

So… does that mean Kaede…?

“Anyway, everyone Kyoko woke up was just transferred here around an hour ago,” Aoi continued. “Almost everyone is asleep right now, so you’ll have to wait to say hi, but we can go see them through the windows if you want.”

“Like… watch them sleep?” Shuichi asked in faint alarm.

Aoi huffed. “You don’t have to make it sound so creepy. It’s just to check up on them, you know?”

“Oh, um… yeah.” Shuichi nodded, feeling his cheeks heat up in faint embarrassment. “We can do that. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I’m just teasing,” Aoi assured him, though he figured she just felt bad. “Do you want to walk or sit in a wheelchair?”

“Walk,” Shuichi’s mouth answered automatically. He had been pathetic enough as it was– the thought of people staring at him in a wheelchair would only make him feel even worse.

That was good enough for Aoi, though Shuichi presumed any medical professional would disagree with him. His legs felt like jello as he stood up, and he didn’t miss the way Aoi stayed very close to him as they left the room he had been cooped up in for far too long. It kind of reminded him of how long he spent in his dormitory room as the loops repeated over and over–

Whoops, dangerous territory there. He was making a conscious effort to not think about the time loops.

Shuichi had seen glimpses of them in the capsules, but the green lid made it hard to make out their features. Although he knew it was coming, it was a little jarring to see one of his friends lying motionlessly in a similar stark white room to his. Especially when that person was Kaito, who was usually so loud and boisterous and had a presence that burned bright and unwaveringly.

Now, though…?

Kaito looked different from the simulation. He was the same, and yet nothing alike. His hair was… flatter in a sense, falling around his neck rather than sticking up like it usually did. Most of his body was covered with a white blanket, but there was an IV drip connected to his arm, supplying him with the hydration and nutrients they’d all be lacking. Shuichi had never seen him look so… still. So lifeless.

It was unnerving, simply put.

The others were all the same. Maki’s hair was messily cut short, the sight of which effectively startled him. Himiko didn’t change much, though he could see faint burn scars on her palms when he looked closely. K1-B0 wasn’t in a bed; he was near the wall, two people Shuichi didn’t recognize surrounding him. Aoi told him they were probably making sure he was still functional, since a doctor for people can’t exactly help a robot (which he apparently was in real life, too).

Kokichi was the last one he saw. He looked so impossibly small in that hospital bed, heavy bags under his eyes and unkempt hair framing hollow cheeks. To Shuichi, he looked as fragile as glass.

“Koki…” Shuichi murmured when he saw him. “...how is he?”

“He was pretty weak when he woke up,” Aoi admitted, her voice hesitant as if she didn’t know whether she should be telling him this. “Kyoko said to not take him lightly, though. He bit Kyoko when he woke up."

“Wh– he bit Kyoko?” Shuichi sputtered, nearly losing his footing in his shock. “Really…?”

Aoi cracked a smile. “Yeah. She was pretty surprised, too.” Her expression faltered as she looked back at the sleeping boy. “He fought until he passed out…”

“That’s Koki…chi… for you,” Shuichi murmured fondly. That’s about what he had been expecting to happen, and why he had been wanting to stay there when his friends woke up. “Is he… okay?”

“I’ll be honest, none of us can say for sure,” Aoi admitted with a small sigh. “Whether you guys get better is up to you. We can’t really help you if you don’t want us to.”

Ah… so we’ll have to put in the work, too. I guess that’s how recovery works, but…

I’m… really tired.

“Is Tsumugi here?” Shuichi asked Aoi, keeping his eyes firmly planted on Kokichi.

“Ah… Tsumugi…” Aoi winced, and he saw her awkwardly avert her gaze. “About that–”

“I know,” Shuichi interrupted her. Not to be rude, or even intentionally– the words just came out. “I don’t trust her… in fact, I’m really mad at her, and… and I don’t want to talk to her. But is she here, too?”

“You know…?” Aoi looked surprised, but much to his relief, she answered him. “She is here, but she’s in a separate ward. We don’t know what’s going on with her, so it’s better safe than sorry, right?”

Maybe it was the look on his face, but Aoi’s features softened, and she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Everything’s going to work out,” Aoi told him, and despite the gentleness of her voice, there was an underlying tone of certainty that instinctively put him at ease. “When I escaped the killing game, I was worried too… I didn’t know what I’d do. Everything we went through was just starting to catch up with me, and it was… a lot, even when the Future Foundation took us in. But my friends were there for me when things got too hard to handle, and I promise, your friends will be there for you, too. You’ve carried such a heavy burden, but… you’re not alone, you know? Talking and trusting your friends is the most important thing you can do right now. At least… that’s what I think.”

(“So just close your eyes and trust that we’ll take everything from here. That’s what you’re all about, right? Trust and truth and dumb things like that.”)

Rely… on my friends…

Shuichi looked down at his hands. They were trembling. 

(“No matter what happens… or what I find outside of the Ark… I’ll do my best to save all of you. All I hope is that, when this is all over and everyone is finally safe, we can be… friends.”)

Right.

Right, he promised. He made a promise to Kokichi and he wasn’t going to take it back.

All he had to do now was wait for his friends to wake up. Then maybe finally, everything will end. He won’t have to do this anymore.

He’ll be free.

Chapter Text

In the four days he and his friends had been at the hospital, so much yet not at all had happened. Events mostly came in the form of news– at least, while all of his friends were still asleep, having the privilege of getting settled slowly and gently back into their bodies. He visited them when he could, watching videos and movies and shows from a massive archive of saved media, or typing in the notes app on the phone that Makoto had allowed him to keep.

First, his once-dead classmates. All ten of them had been extracted from the simulation with no complications and had been sent to the hospital with. the rest of them. This was yesterday, so they were all still asleep and needing to be constantly monitored. They were set to wake up within the week, if everything went well. And just like him, their appearances were different as well, ranging from Gonta’s no-difference at all to Ryoma being a whole few feet taller. At least they still looked like themselves.

Second, his “survivor” friends. All of them were expected to wake up any day now, though there was no telling what they would and wouldn’t remember from everything. They had been changed out of those school uniforms and into hospital gowns much like Shuichi was at first (which he was ashamed to admit had been a whole… fiasco. He was wearing actual clothes now, but those had not been a fun few days), so at least they’d hopefully wake up comfortable. If not, Shuichi was prepared to rush into any room he had to to explain everything to his friends.

Third, the ward he and his friends were in was a high-security part of the hospital that simultaneously served as a psychiatric hospital. Upon his explorations (which he did when he was trying to avoid the staff. They were nice, but they just made him feel lonelier, in a sense), he discovered things like an art room with both supplies for artwork and even music, which he was sure Angie and Kaede would love. There was a recreation room with games and books, and a cafeteria. It would serve alright until Future Foundation found somewhere more liveable for them to stay.

Fourth and finally, “Team Danganronpa”. That was what the despair group that hosted the killing game. With a little background digging, Kyoko had been able to unearth where they all came from and what memories they were missing. When Shuichi had asked her about those memories, she had said that they weren’t things any of them needed to know except maybe Tsumugi, so that was a little worrying. Anyhow, Kyoko had a small team of her own investigating Team Danganronpa’s actions and whereabouts, though the detective herself had said that there was a chance that Team Danganronpa had disbanded due to what was potentially infighting. She also confirmed that Tsumugi was not part of that group, so the mastermind role had been chosen for her against her will. Shuichi had been right on that front, so at least Tsumugi wasn’t going to be arrested.

Kyoko assured him over the phone that he wouldn’t need to worry about Team Danganronpa ever again, though. She told him to put all of his focus into recovering. Shuichi wasn’t sure how to take that, so he agreed with her, and their phone call ended.

In all honesty, focusing on recovery was the least of his worries. He knew that he was fine– he had a physical therapist help him out for a bit, and although his legs gave him trouble sometimes, it wasn’t nearly as impossible to move as it had been before. “Resting” made him want to pull his hair out, since laying down and doing nothing reminded him of his days in bed during the time loop and he never wanted to feel that awful again. Instead, he rested by sitting with his sleeping friends, playing on his phone or even napping. Was he doing the same thing as he would be doing if he were just in bed? Yes, but it was different because he was with somebody.

The staff wasn’t very approving of this habit, but they allowed him to do it so long as he wasn’t hurting himself or his friends. Shuichi made sure to be extra careful with himself to avoid being banned from visiting his friends and classmates.

Right now, he was sitting with Kaede. He switched classmates every time he finished watching a movie, or when his phone was done charging after he napped (since in his outfit now, he got some pretty big pockets in his sweatpants, so he could easily fit the long cord and brick as he walked around. Thank god for Future Foundation and their acquiration of a whole lot of Ultimates). She was the last person Shuichi hadn’t yet visited, mostly since seeing her put a heavy strain on his heart that came from something Kyoko had told him on one of their update calls.

According to the program’s files, Kaede was not the blackened. She was not executed as a blackened student. The outcome of that whole class trial had been false; a cover-up by the mastermind since Kaede’s first shot put ball missed Rantaro. Instead, it was Tsumugi who had killed him. Maybe if Shuichi had thought just a little harder about the variables… if he had put any thought into searching the girl’s bathroom, where Tsumugi had disappeared off to…

It was too late now. What had happened happened, and he couldn’t do anything to change that.

When Kaede woke up, Shuichi wondered how he was going to tell her that. She had died thinking she killed Rantaro– that guilt would undoubtedly carry over when she woke up for the first time. On top of that, she was going to have to deal with the shock of coming back, a feeling Shuichi understood all too well. Dying in the way she had… Shuichi couldn’t imagine trying to come back from that.

The door to the room opened suddenly, nearly scaring him out of his skin. It looked to be Maki’s primary nurse– ah, right. All of them had an assigned “primary nurse” who was set to take care of them and keep track of their recovery. The amount of medical staff Future Foundation had on hand was surprising, considering what was happening outside. 

“There you are,” the woman sighed, relaxing for only a moment before tensing again. “Shuichi, we need your help.”

Shuichi stared at her. “Huh? Why?”

“Maki woke up,” she grimaced. A shiver of excitement shot down his spine, but judging from the solemn look on the nurse’s face, this wasn’t yet news to be celebrated. “And she needs to be calmed down. We’re hoping you can do that so we don’t have to… physically restrain her.”

“Of course!” Shuichi was already out of his seat, pocketing his phone. “Of course I’ll help.”

“Thank god,” the nurse whispered in relief, holding her hand against her chest for only a moment before backing out of the doorway.

Maki’s awake. That fact only truly processed in his head when he was actually entering Maki’s room.

The last nurse who had been in the room slipping out past him. That wasn’t who his focus was on though– his eyes were locked onto Maki herself, who looked at him with enough force to kill him on the spot. The choppy way her hair was cut and the wild look of danger in her glaring red eyes made her look so much less composed than she had been in the killing game, and somehow, that made her much scarier.

The last time he had truly faced her had been back in the simulation, when she was standing at the end of his gun. She had had her poison-tipped crossbow then, but getting her to discard that was easy when he threatened Kaito. Guilt wormed under his skin as he thought back to that first attempt– the one where he had held his friends hostage until morning. He had shot Kaito with a gun.

But that wasn’t the point. Since then, Shuichi had only seen her asleep in her hospital bed. Her neutral sleeping expression would be angelic compared to the look on her face now.

“Maki…?” Shuichi asked, his voice delicately quiet. There was something wrong, he knew– she wasn’t in her bed anymore. Her IV was no longer attached to her arm, and she was backed against the wall like a cornered animal. Maybe he shouldn’t approach her right away. “I-It’s okay, Maki. What’s wrong?”

Maki squinted at him, looking him up and down, before recognition flashes across her expression. “...Shuichi?”

“Oh, um…” He glanced down at himself. He knew he looked different from the simulation– more girl-ish– but was it that different…? “Yeah. Shuichi Saihara.”

For some reason, that answer seemed to agitate her even more, but at least she wasn’t having a borderline panic attack anymore. She scoffed at him in disdain, turning her head so she wouldn’t have to look directly at him.

“You must be wondering what’s happening, right…?” Shuichi continued when she didn’t say anything in return. “Well… if you remember, the killing game was in a simulation–”

“I know that part,” Maki interrupted him snippily. “Where are we now?”

“...so, um, this organization called Future Foundation saved us. This is one of their hospitals.”

Maki looked near murderous. “And you let this organization take us? No suspicion or anything? Did the time loop kill all of your common sense, too?”

“What–? No, I… I made sure they were trustworthy.” He left out the part where he would have been totally defenseless against them if they had been evil. “I’ve been here for almost a week, Maki, I promise they’re good people. T-They gave me a phone, and they’d call me every day to tell me what was going on back at– at where we were. They’re trying to help us, I promise.”

“A week,” Maki seethed. “I was unconscious for a week?”

“...technically longer,” Shuichi riskily admitted. “We were asleep when we were in the simulation, too. So based on Kyoko’s deductions… at least three weeks?”

That didn’t seem to help. “How long have we been here?”

“Here…?”

“Here. The hospital.” Maki threw her hand towards the bed– or, more accurately, the machines. “How long have we been in this hospital?”

Oh. “Four days.”

“Four days…” Maki repeated under her breath. “...well, you look fine, aside from the fact that you look like a girl.”

Okay. Ouch. That comment stung a lot more than he would have liked it to.

“It’s hard to tell if your head is okay though, considering you were acting like a idiot in the simulation, too,” Maki continued unhappily. “What were you thinking? What reason did you have to point a gun at us? You almost shot Kaito.”

“I didn’t want to,” Shuichi protested. “I just–”

“And then you leave the simulation and don’t tell anyone what’s going on,” Maki barreled on, making his jaw click shut. “You had no reason to do everything you did. If you had explained everything, I wouldn’t have shot Kaito or Kokichi.”

“You would believe I was in a time loop?” Shuichi demanded incredulously, knowing perfectly well that wasn’t true.

“I might have if you explained the simulation part,” she snapped. “If you had the answers, why not tell us? If you were going to destroy Monokuma and out the mastermind anyway, you wouldn’t have needed to worry about them stopping you from leaving because we would have helped you. Instead, you locked me and Kaito in the bathroom overnight, and then you drugged and handcuffed Kokichi. None of us knew what was going on until Kokichi showed us that dubious letter, and even that was hardly any explanation for what you did. You didn’t even stay behind to deal with the consequences yourself because you left the simulation without any of us.”

“Maki–”

“You knew that there was no chance of Team Danganronpa waiting for you. Monokuma told you that himself. You were being selfish when you left alone.”

“Selfish?” Shuichi echoed in utter disbelief. “I was trying to protect you! Nothing was for certain while I was leaving– I just wanted all of you to be safe!”

Maki rolled her eyes. “How were you planning to wake us up, anyway? If it wasn’t for this Future Foundation, you would’ve been useless. You abandoned all of us based on a maybe. If you were so worried about Kokichi being killed, why didn’t you take him with you? If you were so uncertain about facing Team Danganronpa, why didn’t you take me or Kaito with you? And why do you suddenly care about us now? You clearly didn’t before.”

It was hard to form a response to that. Whether that was because his throat had closed up or he genuinely didn’t know how to refute her, he didn’t know. The words didn’t come out either way.

There was a small knock on the wall next to the door. It was Maki’s primary nurse, who was leaning into the room with a concerned pinch in her brows.

“Excuse me, Maki. We’d like to examine you again now that you’re awake,” the nurse informed her. “We are just staff from Future Foundation. We’ve been assigned to help you all.”

Though she didn’t look happy about it, she at least didn’t seem like she was going to fight them anymore. Even if she was angry at Shuichi, she at least still believed him–

…angry?

Maki’s… angry at me?

“Whatever,” Maki grumbled. “One wrong move though, and I break your fingers.”

Her primary nurse shrugged, fully stepping into the room. “Fine by me.”

“Also, I want him out.” Her red eyes sharpened into a glare once again as she looked at him. “I don’t want to see him right now.”

Why? he wanted to ask. Why are you mad at me? How do I fix it?

“...sorry,” was the only thing Shuichi could choke out. He backed up a step, murmuring another apology as he fully turned towards the door. “I hope you feel better, Maki.”

Maki didn’t say anything back as he slunk out the door, feeling strangely numb. Maki could be a bit cold to him sometimes– she was cold to everyone. He had seen her angry before, but she had never been angry at him. Her anger turned that cold chill into a searing flame, burning quietly and angrily. It was like a candle in a dark room– no matter where you turned, you’d always see its light.

Shuichi didn’t know how to handle when people were angry at him. It wasn’t like he ever did much to make people angry– at least, not on purpose. The only ones who ever got truly mad at him were his past babysitters and teachers, who would basically just yell at him until he either cried or, more rarely, fixed whatever it was that he did wrong. That didn’t happen nowadays– he went out of his way to try to avoid making people mad– but when it did happen, he wasn’t quite sure… what to do. Growing up, people yelled at him when he messed up, and maybe sometimes they’d even get a little physical. That was anger to him.

During the killing game, Kaito had been mad at him. He still wasn’t entirely sure why, since he had done the same exact thing as the previous three times. The only difference that time was that it was Kokichi who declared the culprit, not him. He didn’t know why he’d be at fault for that, but Kaito had… let it go? Probably? All he had said when he tried to bring it up was “I leave the rest to you”, so Shuichi didn’t really know what was up with that but if Kaito wasn’t mad at him then he was fine with it. With the time loop too, Kokichi had been pissed at him in that one loop, but that was pretty short-lived.

He brought his hand to the side of his neck. He didn’t want to think about that one.

“Shuichi,” one of the nurses asked him. He wasn’t a primary caretaker or anything– he was just someone who helped everyone out equally. Pretty nice guy. “Are you okay?”

“Ah… yes, I’m fine,” Shuichi reassured him quickly. Maki’s anger was new and quiet, which, while it was scary, was justified. She was mad at him because of the actions he took to end the time loop. He didn’t expect her to forgive him by any means. “I just… um… I’m glad she’s awake. A-And, I–”

Don’t cry. Oh god, don’t cry, he chastised himself, blinking hard. He might not be allowed near his other friends upon their awakening if Maki made him cry.

“...I just want to cut my hair,” he told the nurse, offering him a tiny, shaky smile. “I don’t want to look like… a girl.”

The nurse blinked, staring at him a bit intently. “Hm… alright. I’ll talk to your prime about that. Do you want me to take you back to your room?”

If there was anything Shuichi didn’t want to be right now, it was alone. “No, I’ll… I’m gonna go visit one of my friends. Is there any chance I can see Keebo…?”

“He still won’t allow visitors.”

“Figures,” Shuichi sighed. K1-B0 had been awake for a while now, but he had banned visitors pretty much instantly out of fear of hurting somebody– he was pretty paranoid about Team Danganronpa. “Okay, um… I’ll probably be with Kaito. Sorry, I… I’m worried.”

“That’s fine. Just be careful.” The nurse gave him a small nod, before letting him go on with his business.

With a small exhale, Shuichi started towards his newfound destination.

–

There was a notes app on his phone. At this point, marking five days since his arrival at the hospital, there had to be hundreds of words in that app detailing all of his emotions and everything he had gone through. Notes about the killing game, the time loop, his family, his friends… every thought and every feeling he had was all contained in this little phone. He was laying his soul bare in this thing, which meant that should anyone see this, they would know him better than he knew himself.

With these written feelings also came news. News of Future Foundation’s progress, news of his friend’s recovery. Everyone was getting better– Himiko had woken up, but she wasn’t entirely there yet. Maki was already up and walking around, which he found very surprising considering the pathetic state he had personally been in upon waking up for the first time. K1-B0 was still isolating himself, but Kaito and Kokichi were set to wake up any day now–

“Shuichi? We need you.”

–which turned out to be today.

“What is it?” Shuichi asked as he hopped out of his chair. He had been sitting with Ryoma, who had yet to show any sign of awakening.

The nurse who had fetched him looked anxious. “Kokichi’s awake. If you can’t handle it, that’s alright, but I thought I’d give you the cha–”

“Yes!” he blurted out eagerly. He didn’t mean to interrupt them, but… Kokichi. “Yes, I’ll help!”

“Are you sure?” The nurse asked him as he rushed out of the room, almost tripping and slamming into the wall amidst his rush. “Be careful–!”

Shuichi threw a distracted apology over his shoulder as he hurried down the hall, moving towards where he knew Kokichi’s room was.

The doorway was significantly less crowded this time– compared to Maki’s collection of concerned staff, there were only two people standing there. That in itself would be fine if he couldn’t hear so much shouting coming from inside the room.

That should’ve been his first warning sign. The first red flag in this situation.

When Shuichi entered the room, he saw Kokichi’s primary nurse holding him against the bed, an endless stream of reassurances and calm pleas for him to calm down coming from her mouth. In comparison, Kokichi was anything but calm. He was thrashing around as if someone had set him on fire, shouting borderline incomprehensible profanities at the poor woman so loudly his voice was breaking.

“Kokichi!” Shuichi exclaimed, a burst of adrenaline making him lunge towards the bed. It looked like his primary nurse was doing her damn best to not let Kokichi rip out his IV or hurt himself, which she was doing a great job at admittedly, but consequently scaring the shit out of him. “You’re going to tear your stitches! Please stop fighting!”

“Damned if I do, damned if I don’t,” he heard Kokichi’s primary nurse curse under her breath. “I’m leaving the room– I’m the one scaring him. Calm him down, kid.”

That was all she left him with before she removed her hands from Kokichi’s arm and chest, causing him to nearly fling himself out of bed. As she hurried out of the room, he immediately sat up, breathing so hard it was a wonder he was still conscious. Immediately, he went to tear out his IV–

“Kokichi.” Without thinking, Shuichi seized his wrist, stopping him in place. “I promise it’s oka–”

And wouldn’t you know it, Kokichi punched him in the face.

The surprise hurt more than the actual blow did, honestly. Kokichi’s movements were jerky and stiff, and given the fact that he was afflicted with something called severe acute malnutrition upon coming out of the simulation, it made sense his punches would be lacking. Still though.

It was hard to be offended when Kokichi looked like he was on the verge of tears, though. That was also the moment that he realized that wow, Kokichi’s eyes were gorgeous. One was his usual purple, but the other was yellow. How intriguing.

Not important, though. Kokichi, he realized, was having a panic attack.

It was strange to see Kokichi in such a vulnerable state– Shuichi had never seen him actively panic like this before. Not this kind of silent, hyperventilating state of hysteria. The closest example he could think of was when he had committed suicide in front of him in that one loop, and Kokichi had been frantically trying to save him.

“You’re safe, Kokichi. I promise,” Shuichi reassured him in a soft voice. “You’re not in the simulation anymore. We’re at a hospital protected by an organization called Future Foundation, who helped all of you get out, too.”

Kokichi squeezed his eyes shut, using his free hand to shakily try and hide his tears. He was leaning away from Shuichi; as far as he could get with Shuichi gripping his wrist.

“Our bodies are different from how they were in the simulation,” Shuichi continued in the quiet, firm voice he had adopted. “Your body was severely malnutritioned when they got you out, and you had an untreated wound on your back that the people out there took care of. They’re doctors, Kokichi. They’re helping you.”

That wound was something Shuichi had wondered about a lot. He had seen it for himself after it was stitched, and it was horrific– a long scar that ran down the length of his spine, which had been uncomfortably visible against his skin. Kokichi’s body was very bony now, and he was somehow even smaller than before. Maybe that was because he wasn’t actively trying to make himself bigger, but it could also be because he had been apparently starved.

Answers to what happened to them during the Tragedy was the one thing Future Foundation wouldn’t give him though, so he dropped it. If his friends remembered, then they’d deal with it together, but otherwise some things were better off left forgotten.

“They’re waiting outside the room, so it’s just us. No one is going to hurt you.” Shuichi lessened his grip on Kokichi’s wrist, but didn’t release him entirely. “I’m not hurt, am I?”

At least Kokichi looked at him this time. He glanced him up and down, his eyes searching for any sign of injury.

It was quiet for a few moments, filled only with the sound of Kokichi’s heavy breathing. Shuichi let the silence fester– he had said what he needed to, and as much as he wanted to help Kokichi, he doubted Kokichi would want him to guide him through his breathing. He didn’t like when people told him what to do, after all.

After a little while, when Kokichi didn’t look pale enough to pass out, he opened his mouth. No words came out at first, especially with his gaze fixated on the IV in his arm.

But then finally, “what are they… putting inside of me?”

“Fluids. To keep you hydrated,” Shuichi clarified honestly. “...and pain medicine.”

“Why didn’t they…” Kokichi trailed off, opting to instead point helplessly at his mouth. “The tube… thing.”

“How you’ve been eating?” Shuichi guessed, which earned a small nod from Kokichi. “Well, you’ve all been waking up from time to time… you get to eat then.”

Kokichi closed his eyes, releasing a trembling breath.

“But now that you’re awake, you can eat properly,” Shuichi continued in a mild attempt to reassure him. “I’m… really happy you’re awake, Kokichi.”

“They didn’t give me one’a those ‘cause they knew I was gonna freak, didn’t they?” Kokichi asked in barely a whisper. “The tubes.”

Shuichi hadn’t thought about that. The only reason he knew no one had gotten a feeding tube of any kind was because they were going to wake up soon, but if it was also because they’d wake up swinging and the staff wanted to avoid them hurting themselves, then Shuichi wouldn’t be surprised.

“...maybe?” he risked answering. “It’s, ah… possible.”

“I know I’m right,” Kokichi murmured, and if it weren’t for the unusual delicacy in his voice, he would have sounded like his normal self.

“Ah. At least you’re thinking clearly, then.” Shuichi let out his own breath of relief. Reassured that he wasn’t going to hurt himself, he let go of Kokichi’s wrist.

The little tension left in Kokichi’s shoulders slipped away, and he brought his hand to his eyes, hiding them once again. Shuichi could understand why– Kokichi was someone who hid his true self under layers and layers of masks and lies. To be stripped of those defenses so abruptly couldn’t have done any favors for his panic attack.

It took a little longer for Kokichi to lower his hand. His eyes were clear again when he did, betraying nothing on how he truly felt in the moment. Usually that would have put off Shuichi– eyes were something he still struggled with, and people like Kokichi and Maki’s eyes– so secretive and cold– were hard to look at sometimes.

But Kokichi’s eyes… even with the hidden truths that laid beneath them, oh, they were so beautiful. He had never seen someone with heterochromia before, and he had to wonder why Team Danganronpa would hide something that was so… pretty. Shuichi didn’t want to hide from his gaze– he wanted more of it. He wanted to look into Kokichi’s eyes, where he found comfort and beauty instead of anxiety and guilt. He wanted Kokichi to look at him forever.

“...your haircut is great,” Kokichi commented after a long lapse of silence, quickly jerking Shuichi out of his dreamy trance.

“Huh? Oh, thank y– wait.” Shuichi frowned. “Is that a lie?”

“No. I just said it ‘cause it’s rude to stare,” Kokichi replied cheerily. His voice was still soft, yes, and lacking the Kokichi-typical hyper energy that came with his more lighthearted banter, but it was still Kokichi and that was fine.

But also, “oh! Oh, um, sorry.” Shuichi dropped his gaze to the ground, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. “I just… sorry.”

Kokichi didn’t respond to that. He just stared at where the window would be, privacy curtains shielding them from the view of the hallway.

“...you can leave,” Kokichi told him after another few minutes. “You don’t have to stay.”

Shuichi felt his heart plummet in his chest.

“Do– Do you… not want me to stay…?” he breathed, his voice weak. He didn’t want to hear the answer, but he had to ask. He needed to know.

“Not right now,” Kokichi replied dryly. “I appreciate the company or whatever, but I just want to be alone.”

The chances that Kokichi was lying were slim– he did look sincerely exhausted even if he had only just woken up. He’d have to deal with his primary nurse right after this, so that was going to be even more draining. No matter how much Shuichi wanted to stay with him, his presence was unwanted. He was just making things worse.

(“Shuichi.” Kokichi’s smile was sweet as he turned to face him. “I am really, really mad at you right now.”)

Shuichi’s chest hurt. Kokichi’s anger could be visible so long as he wanted to be– if he was mad at you, chances were, you’d know.

But that wasn’t the only case. Sometimes, Kokichi’s anger would be buried deep beneath his lies, occasionally prodding the subject of his fury with hints and sharp remarks.

Could it be that Kokichi was mad at him, too? Like Maki?

Shuichi shuffled a step back, scanning Kokichi’s face. He wasn’t looking at him– in fact, it looked like he was avoiding his gaze.

“...okay,” he finally choked out. “Okay, I– I understand. You don’t want me around.”

Hiding the quiver in his voice was hard. And maybe Kokichi had heard it, because he gave Shuichi a look.

“Wooow. Is Shuichi gonna cry over being rejected?” Kokichi teased softly. “Making me feel bad when I already feel like shit is pretty mean, y’know.”

“I’m sorry.” Please don’t be mad at me. “Yeah, sorry… I’ll go. I hope you feel better.”

Again, Kokichi was quiet. It was eerie– Kokichi was never this quiet. He must be feeling pretty awful if he was flat out telling Shuichi to go away.

That was that, then. Shuichi left the room, keeping his head ducked low as he told Kokichi’s primary nurse she could go in. One of the only other people there, a doctor, tried to ask him if he was okay, but he nodded and hurried off. He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.

Maki’s mad at me– she doesn’t even want to see me. Shuichi’s eyes burned as he picked up the pace. He wanted somewhere quiet. Somewhere alone. Kokichi’s mad at me… he doesn't want me around either.

No, he was just tired. He’s dealing with a lot, and sometimes people need to be alone. It’s selfish to assume he’s mad at you just because he asked you to go away.

The sting in his cheek from Kokichi’s punch was suddenly hurting a lot worse now.

He didn’t… apologize for that. He was having a panic attack– he probably didn’t even recognize me. How could he? He was scared. Everyone is.

He didn’t say sorry… for hitting me.

Shuichi practically stumbled into the art room. The back of his eyes were burning, and he needed somewhere quiet to sit– he wanted these unwanted thoughts out of his head.

The weight of his phone in his coat pocket bumped against his hip as he stopped moving, looking for a comfortable place to sit.

Ah… my notes! I have to write this down. He fumbled for his phone, and realized that his hands were shaking as he turned it on.

Okay. This helped. His thumbs moved rapidly across the virtual keyboard as he typed, pacing in short circles around the empty art room. Having somewhere to flood all of his thoughts and complicated feelings definitely alleviated some of the strain on his lungs; it grounded him in a way, seeing his words gaze back at him. 

They weren't neat and they weren't coherent, but they were his. And that’s why Shuichi didn’t cry.

–

The minute Kaito woke up, it was like the entire hospital came to life.

Upon his awakening, he didn’t miss a single beat before he dragged his poor primary nurse around to collect all of his friends. The only reason he came was because Kaito had threatened to walk out and do it himself, and it’d be trouble if he collapsed in the middle of the hallway. Between the effect the virtual illness had had on his real body and a pre-existing ailment in his lungs– which had not been explained to Shuichi– he was still pretty weak.

But even if his body was weak, Kaito sure wasn’t going to let that stop him. Oh no. That was like trying to stop an airplane going with your bare hands.

Shuichi was the last one he found, though that was probably because Shuichi was pretty much never in his own room. Either way, he was pretty surprised when he saw Kaito burst through the door, considering he was sitting in Kiyo’s room.

“Wha– Kaito!?” he had asked in shock, briefly wondering if he was having some loneliness induced fever dream until he saw Kaito’s exasperated primary nurse enter the room as well.

“Shuichi!” Kaito had yelled upon seeing him. He had immediately walked over– stumbled, more like– to him, patting him firmly on the shoulder. “We’re all meeting in the cafeteria, and we need you.”

“Wh-What!? You’re awake? When?”

“Fifteen minutes ago! Now c’mon before I carry you there myself!”

That was how Shuichi found himself in the cafeteria with his five other fellow survivors, sans Tsumugi. Even K1-B0 was there! Leave it to Kaito to draw someone out of their shell.

“Shuichi!” Kokichi cheered when he entered, taking one eager step forward and immediately tripping. Miraculously, K1-B0 caught him, keeping him upright.

“Careful,” K1-B0 warned him, quickly snatching his hands back when Kokichi recovered. “Don’t go making any sudden movements.”

“Yeah. You have to approach him slowly,” Himiko added. “Or else you’ll scare him and he’ll run away.”

“...I think that’s for cats,” K1-B0 pointed out.

“Cats, Shuichi, same thing,” Kokichi waved him off. “He’s obviously three cats in a trench coat! That’s why he’s wearing that thing!”

The coat Shuichi was wearing was brown and casual. He had chosen it from the selection of clothing Future Foundation had initially supplied him with because of its deep pockets, making it easier to carry around his phone and charger. It certainly wasn’t a trench coat though.

“Should you be walking around?” Maki asked the astronaut flatly. It looked like she had gotten her own change of clothes, no longer having to wear a hospital gown everywhere. Himiko had as well, but Kokichi and Kaito hadn’t yet gotten that opportunity. “You look like hell.”

“There’s only so much you can do for yourself in a hospital,” Kaito pointed out with a small shrug. “You look great, Maki Roll! But what happened to your hair!?”

“That’s what I was asking,” Himiko agreed. “It’s all… short. I liked the pigtails.”

Maki puffed out her cheeks, subconsciously turning her head. “It’ll grow back. It’s just hair.”

“I hope it does. It suited you great,” Kaito sighed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “And Kokichi, what the fuck is up with your eyes?”

“What? Are you enamored, Kaito? Have you fallen head over heels for me?” Kokichi immediately started teasing him. “Sooorry, my heart belongs to someone else.”

“Wha–!? It does?” Himiko yelped.

“Shut up! I’m just surprised,” Kaito snapped. “Your eyes are two different colors!”

“Huh?” Kokichi asked, and if Shuichi didn’t know any better, he’d say that Kokichi was genuinely surprised there. “Well, your face looks stupider than before, and you sound like a forty year old smoker! Also your dumb goatee is gone.”

“It’s what!?” Kaito’s hands flew to feel his chin as Kokichi began snickering, though Shuichi could tell there was little heart in it. Did he really not know about his heterochromia…? Is that why he had been so put off by Shuichi’s staring?

Speaking of which, he couldn’t help but notice that Maki hadn’t even looked at him yet. She must still be angry at him, but was Kokichi? He had excitedly greeted him, but could that just be an act. Kokichi had always been pretty eccentric in that way.

Or maybe he was overthinking this. Maybe he was just being self-centered and there was nothing actually wrong.

His hands itched to have his phone in his hands, to write down his thoughts, but it would be rude to pull it out now.

“So why’d you call us out here, anyway?” Maki asked Kaito, effectively interrupting his and Kokichi’s growing argument. “...and where’s your primary nurse?”

“I told him I’d be fine with all of you,” Kaito replied with a reassuring thumbs up. “If I collapse, then I trust you guys will take care of it!”

“Please don’t,” Shuichi begged him. He wasn’t sure if his heart could take it if any of his friend’s healing started regressing.

“The reason I called all of you here is because that’s what we’ve always done, isn’t it?” Kaito continued without responding to him. “Every morning, we’d gather in the dining hall. So I think we should do that here, too!”

“I thought that was to make sure no one died,” Maki deadpanned.

“But it also brought us closer, didn’t it?” K1-B0 reasoned with a pensive expression. “Spending so much time with each other was beneficial to our relationships. I… agree with Kaito. We should continue to meet up every morning."

“That would be nice,” Himiko mused. “I do wanna eat breakfast with Tenko… I want to show her and Angie how far I’ve come.”

“That’s if she wants to come,” Maki reminded her. “Dying would be difficult for anyone. Being killed by someone would make it even harder.”

“That’s another problem entirely,” K1-B0 winced. “Our classmates… killed each other. That isn’t something you can simply move past. I wouldn’t blame any of them if they didn’t want to face their murderer, or vice versa.”

Shuichi knew that feeling all too well. He had killed and been killed by the same person and had to face her in later loops. Then again, maybe he should consider himself lucky– she was in a separate wing of the hospital, getting the help she needed. And compared to everyone else, she didn’t even remember what she had done to him, and what he had done to her.

Yeah, he figured. He wasn’t able to be compared to his classmates. His situation was much different.

“Well I died loads of times and I’m fine,” Kokichi interjected. “I’m not mad at Kaito or Maki, so I think everyone else will live.”

Shuichi wilted at the same time everyone in the room froze. No doubt they had all been trying to tiptoe around the subject of the time loop and what he had done to end it. Maki especially had tensed, and Kaito was avoiding looking at him or Kokichi. Himiko and K1-B0 just looked a little awkward.

(Also worth noting that Kokichi didn’t say he wasn’t mad at Shuichi. He was definitely overthinking now, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.)

“You don’t… remember those times though,” K1-B0 took the liberty of breaking the silence. “It’s different for everyone else.”

“Maybe dying so many times permanently impacted my brain,” Kokichi suggested, tapping the side of his head. “Subconscious stuff and all of that.”

“Nyeh… wouldn’t we have started feeling deja vu if that were the case?” Himiko wondered.

“Does it matter?” Maki challenged. “Shuichi ended the killing game. That’s all that counts.”

“He did a pretty good job of it, too!” Kaito exclaimed, giving him a pat on the back that nearly toppled him over. “Your execution was a little… chaotic, but we’ll work on that later!”

Shuichi didn’t thank him. He didn’t deserve the praise.

“When is everyone else gonna wake up?” Himiko asked, thankfully steering the conversation away from the time loop. “...and why was Shuichi up before us?”

“Yeah! He gets to walk around and talk to Future Foundation leaders and we don’t?” Kokichi agreed with an over-exaggerated pout in Shuichi’s general direction.

“The way I left the simulation was different,” Shuichi explained mildly. “I left it on my own. You guys were pulled out. Kyoko and her team had to manually remove a bunch of wires in everyone, which was… a lot safer than what I did. She also had to manually load your memories and consciousness back into your bodies, so you had to be unconscious for a while as your bodies readjusted to, um… you know. Functioning.”

“It was a pretty great nap,” Himiko commented.

“Then what happened to you?” K1-B0 asked him curiously. “If Kyoko had to have a team of people to remove us, how did you remove yourself?”

“I, ah… kind of pulled everything out?” Shuichi sheepishly admitted, wincing at the alarmed look Kaito shot him. “Kyoko told me that the team programmed a script for when someone left the simulation on their own volition. Their memories and consciousness would be reuploaded automatically and the wires sustaining their body disconnect on their own. Moving hurt more than pulling those out.”

“Ew…” Kokichi cringed. “Everybody say thank you Shuichi for taking one for the team and not putting us through that! ♪”

Shuichi looked nervously towards Maki, who was glaring at the smaller boy.

He has to just be mocking me, Shuichi figured, trying his best not to appear as dejected as he felt. He must’ve figured out Maki’s mad at me, and he’s rubbing it in my face.

I must have made him really mad…

Somehow, he was going to have to apologize to them. He just… needed to work out what he was going to say. Maki was mad at him for abandoning everyone and going solo, and Kokichi was probably mad at him for… pretty much everything. Not only had he drugged him and held him at gunpoint, but he also admitted in his note that he knowingly allowed Kokichi to die over and over.

There was also the matter of screwing up Kokichi’s important plan. That was also his bad.

“Thanks Shuichi,” Himiko said to him, apparently taking the joke seriously and making him feel about fifty times worse.

“Thank you… I think,” K1-B0 concurred. “I have been wanting to ask… what happened after you woke up? I don’t remember much from when I first woke up.”

“I remember biting someone,” Kokichi offered gleefully.

“Of course you do,” Maki muttered disbelievingly. Shuichi scrunched up his nose, trying not to let his amusement show.

“It’s good you don’t remember anything. Kyoko said that’s supposed to happen,” Shuichi reassured them. “For me… I was awake as soon as my body would let me be. I didn't really have time to give myself to reorientate. I looked around a bit before I started trying to figure out how I was going to try and get you all out.”

“You left the simulation not even knowing that?” Himiko asked in mild alarm.

“W-Well… no,” Shuichi admitted with a small, nervous smile. “I was more focused on actually getting out without alerting the mastermind. I, ah… didn't exactly plan ahead very much.”

Maki grumbled. “I can tell.”

“It worked out okay in the end though, didn’t it?” K1-B0 pointed out lightly. “All of us are here. All of us. Even if only by accident, you found the proper people to help. You saved us.”

You saved us.

Shuichi wasn’t sure why, but those words sent a sharp pang through his heart.

That was what he had always been trying to do, wasn’t it? Save his friends. His purpose in the time loop was to save Kokichi, Kaito and Maki. His purpose in the clinic was to save his friends from the simulation. He had done that– they were all safe in the hands of Future Foundation, being treated and tended to by medical professionals. This was exactly what he wanted.

So why did those words hurt so much? Why didn’t Shuichi feel like he was done? Everyone was safe. Everyone was as safe as they could possibly be. He saved them!

“Don’t act like I did anything special,” he pleaded K1-B0. That came out sounding a lot ruder than he wanted it too, which he knew threw his friends off guard based on the looks on their faces. “I didn’t even… I did bad things. I didn’t save you.”

“You never actually hurt any of us,” Kaito pointed out. “I mean, you drugged Kokichi I guess, but he kind of deserved it.”

Kokichi gasped. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean!?”

But I did hurt you, Shuichi wanted to say. I shot you. I killed Tsumugi. I hurt Kokichi in so many ways… I told you that in my note. I told everyone. So why are they acting like I did nothing wrong? 

“If we persecuted only you for doing bad things, that’d just be unfair,” K1-B0 stated with a small grimace. “I don’t blame you for doing what you did in the same way I don’t blame Kaede, Kirumi, Kiyo or Gonta.”

“I dunno about Kiyo…” Himiko mumbled.

“That’s different,” Shuichi insisted, ignoring the girl. “I’ve done bad things you don’t even remember. I can’t even face the consequences because I–”

“Shuichi.” Kaito placed a hand on his shoulder, effectively shutting him up. “If you really feel that bad, then I guess you can apologize, but it’s really not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal!?” Shuichi echoed in disbelief. He slapped Kaito’s hand away from him, stepping back. “You don’t even remember what I did! I didn’t just drug Kokichi or trap you guys in the bathroom or abandon you all. I did so much worse. I held you hostage at gunpoint– I shot you, Kaito. Aren’t you mad?”

“Well, it didn’t actually happen, did it?” Kaito shrugged. “Time reset, so it’s fine. And it’s not like you didn’t have good intentions. It’s messed up, yeah, but you already said sorry in your note.”

It didn’t actually happen.

Shuichi stared at him, his mouth agape.

“It happened to me,” Shuichi hissed through gritted teeth. “I shot you. I stayed awake all night so you wouldn’t kill each other. I killed Tsumugi and I’m the one who gave up and let Kokichi die! You’re telling me that didn’t happen? That it doesn’t matter because time reset?”

Kaito looked stricken. Everyone else looked flat out uncomfortable.

“That’s not really what I meant,” Kaito said after a moment. “Of course it happened. I just meant that nothing happened to me. Or Maki Roll, or,” he sighed, “Kokichi. You already apologized, man, you don’t have to freak out about it now.”

But if I couldn’t freak out about it before with you believing me, then when can I? Shuichi wondered in silent frustration. I don’t want to be forgiven! I want him to acknowledge it happened!

“I’ll forgive you ‘cause the mental image of you with a gun is hilarious,” Kokichi cut in, his hands placed idly behind his head.

“Do you have to visualize that?” Himiko asked. “Didn’t you see him with one?”

“Not all night,” Kokichi corrected her with a grin. “I mean, he pointed one at my head for a bit, but we were interrogating Monokuma. Don’t we make a great team?”

Shuichi almost scoffed and stormed out of the room. He was overjoyed his friends were awake, don’t get him wrong, but if he was going to have to deal with Maki, Kokichi’s passive aggressiveness, and general disbelief about what happened in the time loop, then he didn't want to be here. He could talk to everyone when he was feeling a little less sensitive, but now was not that time. The only reason he didn’t immediately walk out was because of K1-B0.

“What happened to Shuichi in the time loop was real and valid, and I don’t think your method of reassurance is helping,” the robot said to Kaito, rolling his eyes. “He clearly feels guilty for hurting you, and telling him it’s fine isn’t going to make him feel better. Let’s just move on from the topic and come back to it when Shuichi feels ready for it.”

“Yeah. Let’s talk about something nicer,” Himiko agreed, appearing relieved that they were dropping the talk about the time loop. “Like… how should we welcome everyone back? Should we bake a cake for them?”

Kaito shot him a thoughtful look, and Shuichi turned his head downwards, unable to meet his gaze. Guilt was worming its way under his skin– even more so than it had been before. Kaito had only been trying to help, and Shuichi had gotten defensive and rude. He had made everyone uncomfortable with his own problems just because Kaito’s wording had set him off.

There was no way he had been alone in the time loops for so long that he just… couldn’t handle talking to them, right? Surely he hadn’t turned that unreasonable to the point that something he caused upset him. He’s the one who pushed the topic of the time loop, insisting that he did bad things. Kaito had only been responding to that.

Was that why Maki and Kokichi were so mad at him? Was it because he also somehow screwed up talking to them when they first woke up, too? Thinking back, he didn’t think he hurt their feelings, but the two of them were very good at hiding how they felt. Their anger might just be brewing in silence, and they were waiting for him to apologize.

But the topic of conversation had already moved on to their sleeping friends, and what they should do to welcome them back with such limited supplies. There was no way he could apologize now without making the mood plummet again. He separated himself from the group as far as he could, not wanting to participate in the chatter. He didn’t want to accidentally start something, especially when even Maki was contributing to the ideas and seeming to be having a generally good time. She was still glaring at Kokichi as if he dropped babies on their heads for fun, but it seemed like her dislike for him was outweighed by Kaito’s cheerful and powerful charm.

In just an hour since his awakening, Kaito had successfully reunited everyone. It was clear there were still underlying issues– Kokichi, for one, was someone everyone was avoiding being too close to, and he saw the uncertainty and irritation on his classmate’s faces whenever he spoke. There was an open air of discomfort when they started talking about how they were going to help their classmates readjust to being alive again too, and they thankfully didn’t ask Shuichi for any tips. That probably wouldn't go over well.

I was worried for nothing, Shuichi eventually determined. He squeezed his hands together, closing his eyes. They’ll all be fine. They have each other.

(“You’ve carried such a heavy burden, but… you’re not alone, you know? Talking and trusting your friends is the most important thing you can do right now.”)

But it had already been established that they were mad at him, or at the very least uncomfortable. Maki made it clear she didn’t want to see him, Kokichi kept jabbing him with passive aggressive remarks, Kaito was looking at him every other few minutes with an odd expression. At least K1-B0 and Himiko seemed fine, and of course they were his friends, but they weren’t the ones he had trained every night with. They weren’t the one who held him in their lap and fed him and pet his hair until he finally fell asleep.

I need to apologize. I just want them to hate me less.

He stuck his hand in his pocket, closing his fingers around his phone. The urge to pull it out and start writing was almost overwhelming, but that’d be rude. His friends would think he didn’t care about what they were saying, or they might think he was disinterested in welcoming all of their other classmates back.

I’ll apologize to Maki for abandoning everyone… and I’ll apologize to Kokichi for everything I did to him in the time loop. Maybe I’ll be less defensive then and I can actually talk to people about the time loop without acting like a jerk.

On that note, I’ll have to apologize to Kaito, too.

But in the meantime, he had to get through this meeting. And every other morning meeting.

…oh boy.

–

First, he was going to give his apology to Maki. Then to Kokichi.

He was sitting with Kaede again as he wrote and deleted what to say in his notes, the stress making him feel a little nauseous. This morning’s cafeteria meet-up had been so awkward– Maki had tried to talk to him, but he had quickly up and left because he panicked. He didn’t know what to say to her yet, or how to explain why he had left the simulation with no one else. That’s why he was writing it down– so he knew exactly what he wanted to say.

That turned out to be pretty difficult though when even he had no idea why he had done it. He did want to protect his friends from the outside world, but that couldn’t just be it. Could it? Maki might think he was lying if that’s the only reason he supplied. And as she had pointed out, the actions he took in stopping the time loop were pretty nuts. He didn’t know how he was supposed to explain that, oh, yeah, I think I only went so far because I wasn’t thinking of you guys as people at the time because of how predictable your actions had become from the time loop. She might not take that well.

Again, he backspaced on what he was initially typing, letting out an exhausted sigh. Maybe he should just get on his hands and knees again. That had startled her out of what she was going to do last time, so maybe the same logic would apply here.

Would she accept the explanation that he just wasn’t thinking rationally at the time?

Maybe I just need to talk to her, Shuichi figured after a little longer of trying and failing to type something. If I’m talking to her, maybe the words will come as I speak. It’d probably be more authentic that way, too.

“Okay.” Shuichi stood up from his chair, gripping his phone in both hands. “I’m going to talk to her. If I don’t, I’ll just be sitting here forever… and Kaito might also try to do something about it himself, and I really do not want that to happen.”

Kaede didn’t say anything in return, of course. She was still unconscious. But there was hope for her waking up soon– Rantaro was awake, after all. Kind of. He was getting there.

Inhaling deeply to try and hold onto that little confidence he had, he pocketed his phone and walked towards the door. He was going to clear things up with everyone, starting with Maki. All he wanted was for them to understand.

First though, he’d have to find Maki. The hospital available to them wasn’t that big considering, but there were ways to avoid running into anyone without outright banning visitors (like K1-B0 had initially done. He had lifted that ban now, but he still refused to get too close to any of them. Kaito was a miracle worker, he’d tell you). Shuichi knew that because he had been doing it the minute he realized his Kokichi and Maki were walking around now. He’d rather avoid an awkward confrontation in the hallw–

Two red eyes met his as he opened the door.

“Wah–!” Shuichi yelped, jumping a good foot into the air in fright.

“So you were here,” Maki observed. “Your primary nurse said you might be, but I wasn’t sure. You’re difficult to find.”

Trying to calm his racing heart, Shuichi put a hand on his chest, glancing over his shoulder to make sure he hadn’t disturbed Kaede. Seeing as she was still asleep, he turned his attention back to Maki.

“Sorry. I was actually, ah… coming to find you,” Shuichi admitted quietly. “Why were you looking for me? Does Kaito need something?”

“No. I wanted to talk to you.” Maki was avoiding his gaze, but he didn’t feel as though that was because she couldn’t stand to look at him. She just appeared more… out of her element, in a way. “It’s important.”

Important? Did something happen to one of their friends?

Shuichi stepped fully into the hall, closing the door behind him. There was no one else around, so it was only him and Maki, finally face to face with each other. He was pretty sure the last time he and her had been alone like this was in the loop where he had begged her not to go through with her plan. That felt like it had been an eternity ago, back when everything felt as simple as simply stopping anyone from entering the hangar and the time loop would end.

If only it had been that easy.

“What is it?” Shuichi asked her once the door was closed. “Did something happen…?”

“Not really. Everyone’s fine, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Maki assured him. “...Ryoma’s waking up, and Tenko’s close behind him.”

Shuichi perked. “Really? That’s great. Himiko’s going to be really happy.”

“It’s going to be exhausting watching those two again,” Maki grumbled, though Shuichi knew her well enough to tell she was being affectionate. “That's not why I wanted to talk to you, though. I’ve been trying to since yesterday, but you have a habit of disappearing.”

“I move around everyone’s rooms a lot,” Shuichi told her. “Sorry about that, but… why?”

Maki hesitated again. “...I wanted to say sorry.”

It felt like Shuichi’s entire brain short circuited.

“I was harsh on you when I woke up,” Maki continued talking, seemingly oblivious to the way he had frozen. “More so than necessary. I don’t like or approve of what you did, but I also wasn’t the one living through the time loop. I doubt I’d act rationally after that long either. I never once thought that you didn't care about us, and I don’t think you’re selfish. I only said that because you were the closest thing I could take out my frustration and uncertainty on. So… I’m sorry. That was unfair of me.”

Shuichi had no idea what to say to that. This wasn’t at all how he expected this to go. He was supposed to apologize to her! Not the other way around!

“It’s– I–” Shuichi helplessly fumbled over his words, feeling like a broken record. How was he supposed to respond? “It’s… okay. You deserved to be mad, and– and you were right. I did act stupidly… and carelessly…”

“You did,” Maki agreed bluntly. That’s what he appreciated about her, though; she never beat around the bush. “But I can’t stay mad at someone who feels so bad about it. Also, I doubt you’d do something so drastic without a good reason. You’re usually more rational than that.”

“I– No, Maki…” Shuichi shook his head, but he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to tell her he didn’t have a good reason. “I could have handled that differently. I just– I just went with what worked best for me without thinking about anyone else.”

Maki looked unimpressed. “Just accept my apology so you stop acting so sad all the time and we can all hang out again.”

“Um… I accept your apology?”

“Great.” Maki turned sharply on her heel. “Kaito wants us all to start training again. Once the doctors clear him, we’re going to meet in the rec room every night to train.”

“Ah– wait, Maki, I want to apologize as well,” Shuichi told her before she could leave. She gave him a questioning look over her shoulder, and he scrambled to continue. “I just… you were right, and I want to say sorry. I hurt you guys, and… and I don’t want to run away from the consequences. I did it before and it… I never want to do that again.”

The look on Kokichi’s face didn’t make it worth it.

Shuichi bent at his waist, bowing. “I’m really sorry I left in the way I did. I didn’t want to have to do another time loop again, so I did the first thing that came to mind that would ensure my own victory. I’m sorry.”

The halls were quiet as Maki merely stared at him.

Then, she turned away, offering him only a plain, simple, “okay.”

It took, admittedly, two days for Shuichi to put together a proper apology. Kind of. He actually got a majority of it figured out the evening after he and Maki spoke, but when he went to find Kokichi, it was sort of hard to interrupt him when he was sitting next to Gonta with such a melancholy expression. So he backed out.

Fast forward two days, which was now the present, and Shuichi was going to do it. He would ask Kokichi at breakfast if he would step aside with him, and he would give him a sincere apology for everything. From drugging him to letting him die. Maybe then Kokichi wouldn’t be mad at him, and he could alleviate the anxiety that was weighing him down– enough to the point his primary nurse had asked him about it.

He wasn’t going to hesitate any longer. He had to do this so that he could move on.

The first part of his plan was immediately flung out the window when he actually stepped into the cafeteria.

“Shuichi!” Kokichi was the first to call him out, making the wise decision of not lunging out of his chair (again). “About time you showed up! I was starting to think you were avoiding us or something!”

Shuichi froze as thirteen pairs of eyes turned to look at him.

Every single one of his classmates were here, some wearing normal clothes, most in their hospital gowns.

Some of their primary nurses were present too, standing undisturbed in the corner of the room, but that was less important.

There was a delighted gasp as someone leaped out of her chair. It felt as if his entire world had been jerked to a stop as he locked eyes with Kaede.

Kaede. He had never seen her eyes in full, but here she stood before him now.

Her eyes were brilliantly pink.

“SHUICHI!” Kaede shouted, and before he knew it, he was engulfed in a tight hug. “I was wondering when you’d show up! I was so excited to see you! Can you believe this? I’m… I’m alive. It’s incredible!”

“Y-Yeah…” Shuichi agreed, dazed. To be hugged by Kaede– oh, she was so warm. He awkwardly hugged her back, hiding his face in her shoulder. It was all rushing back to him now; just how much he had missed her. “Yeah, it’s… amazing…”

“Come on, don’t sound so sad!” Kaede scolded him lightly. “It’s like you’re disappointed I’m back or something.”

“Ah! No no no! I’m really glad!” Shuichi rushed to correct himself. “It’s just, well, I– I wasn’t expecting everyone to be here.”

“Not everyone,” Kirumi stated. She looked uncomfortable from her seat beside Maki, and he didn’t fail to notice that Ryoma was on the opposite end of the table from her. “Tsumugi is absent.”

“Yeahhh, Tsumugi… right…” Kaito winced. “Well, now that Shuichi’s here…”

“Did we have to wait for Shuichi?” Kokichi complained. “He already knows, doesn’t he?”

“It just feels more fitting to have all of us here,” Himiko said.

There were practically stars in Tenko’s eyes. “R-Right on Himiko! Wow, you’re even more incredible now!”

“Thanks. My max MP has gone up by three points.”

“Th-Three!?” Tenko gasped.

Kaede released him from her embrace, much to his disappointment.

“Well, can you tell us now?” The pianist asked, placing her hands on her hips. “Where’s Tsumugi? Don’t tell me she’s…”

The one who actually killed Rantaro. The one who framed you. The–

“The mastermind.”

Everyone turned to look at the green-haired boy, who was still wearing that chillingly mysterious smile. He didn’t seem too bothered by the notion, but he wasn’t the only one in this room burying how they felt for the sake of the group.

“Tsumugi had to have been the mastermind,” Rantaro clarified. “That means she was the one who hit me.”

“Huh?” Kaede went pale, and everyone exchanged looks with one another. “No, Rantaro… I…”

Shuichi put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, and she leaned into his side. It surprised him for a moment, but he was happy to comfort her.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised I was the first one dead,” Rantaro admitted with a small sigh. There was a bitter note to his words, but he quickly smoothed it over as he continued. “It seems like the kind of thing a mastermind would do… give me too much information, then kill me off before I can tell any of you.”

“But… Tsumugi’s the mastermind,” Himiko pointed out.

“Tsumugi… mastermind?” Gonta whispered, speaking for the first time. His voice sounded rough, as if he had been crying. “But Tsumugi so nice…!”

“She’s the mastermind,” Shuichi verified grimly. “She killed Rantaro.”

All of the “survivors” shot him a questioning look, while Kaede only shook her head.

“No, really, you don’t have to pretend. Rantaro…” Kaede took in a deep breath, though her voice was shaking. “I’m the one who killed you.”

“You did?” Rantaro asked, lifting a brow.

“I meant to… kill the mastermind… but you got caught in my trap instead,” Kaede continued. “I’m so sorry, Rantaro. I never meant to–”

“Ohh… so that’s what that was!” Rantaro realized, interrupting her. “You mean the shot put ball that fell from the top of the bookshelf? You did that?”

Kaede nodded weakly.

“Hm. So it turns out I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time…” Rantaro mused. “I guess that’s also fitting. But don’t feel so bad about it; such a sad face doesn’t suit you. Actually, your shot put ball missed.”

Rantaro may as well have just set off a bomb, because the whole room exploded.

“Are you serious!?”

“You’re telling me the first shitty fucking trial was a fucking sham the whole time?”

“Y-You’re kidding?”

“Ohh, so Atua really did protect Rantaro and Kaede! How divine~ ♪”

“Huh? Kaede die for no reason then…!?”

“So Kaede was falsely executed? Aw man… that’s pretty boring.”

“Quit saying stupid stuff, you degenerate! A girl was killed for no reason!”

Kaede looked a little dizzy. Shuichi really did feel bad for her– finding out in this way must be pretty jarring.

“So the whole killing game continued based on a rule violation…” Ryoma observed with a hum. His voice was a little less deeper than before, just more scratchy. “Hmph. That’s pretty unfair.”

“The killing game as a whole was unfair,” Maki pointed out dryly.

“It really makes you wonder,” Kokichi sighed, shooting Shuichi a knowing look. “How’d you know about that, Shuichi? You didn’t look surprised at all, for such a big, shocking twist!”

Oh yeah. Kokichi was still pissed at him.

“You knew…?” Kaede stepped away from him, her eyes wide. “How long did you know?”

Shuichi lifted his hands innocently. “I– I only found out because of Kyoko. Your– your user in the simulation was never listed as the blackened. Wait, you… do know Kyoko, right?”

“My nurse explained the simulation to me, yeah. Kyoko Kirigiri was in charge of getting all of us out of it,” Kaede confirmed. “But… I really thought I… killed Rantaro. I thought… aren’t you mad at me?” She turned back to Rantaro. “I mean, even if I missed…”

“I’m upset that you tried,” Rantaro told her. “But I don’t hold anything against you. It’s not like you were trying to kill me.”

“It was a killing game, designed to influence us to kill each other,” K1-B0 said with a significant look at Kirumi, Kiyo, Miu, Kokichi and Maki. “It’d be unfair to hold that against any of you when we were in a terrible situation overall.”

“You don’t have to forgive anyone,” Kaito added. “I’m still pretty pissed at Kokichi for all of the shit he pulled. But none of us are going to get better if we stew in our regrets.”

“Hmm…” Angie hummed with an idle smile on her face, her hands clasped together. “I will consult with Atua first. You did something quite unholy, Kiyo. That’s not something Atua forgives so easily.”

Kiyo looked impressively uncomfortable beneath the medical mask he was wearing.

“Buuut, but, I will be civil,” Angie continued. “Atua does not call for me to be so hateful.”

“Are we sure he isn’t gonna pull some shit like that again?” Miu demanded sharply. “He was a fucking serial killer– shouldn’t we lock his ass up?”

“...I don’t want to make any more friends for my sister,” Kiyo admitted in a delicate, soft whisper. “I’m going to consult… a therapist, once this is over. I want to know why she… did that.”

The exorcism, Shuichi remembered. As uncomfortable as that whole trial had been– especially with the revelation of Kiyo’s relationship with his sister– there had to be some underlying issue there that had caused that to happen in the first place. Therapy would do him good; maybe he’d finally realize what was so wrong about his situation.

“Hey, good on you, man!” Kaito praised him. “And if you try any more messed up things like that, we’ll whack you back into reality.”

Though Kiyo didn’t say anything, Shuichi thought he looked content with that.

“Well, I don’t trust him!” Tenko declared fiercely. “One wrong step and I’m going to Neo Aikido you into the afterlife after the afterlife!”

“That exists?” K1-B0 asked in faint alarm.

“If we are discussing it now…” Kirumi spoke up, although a little hesitant. “Ryoma, I understand if you wish to avoid me. I see that… I cannot help my people anymore.”

Ryoma hummed. “Nah, you don’t have to go that far. I’d given up on life anyway.”

“Is that still the case?” Kirumi asked him.

“Not sure.” Ryoma reached up for his hat, before seeming to remember that it wasn’t there. “Guess I’ve still got a ways to go.”

“We’re not letting you give up like that again,” Kaito promised. “And we’re not letting you do anything stupid either, Kirumi. Future Foundation’s taking care of the world now.”

“Who let's a teenager run a country, anyway?” Himiko agreed.

Kirumi nodded slightly. “I see…”

“But,” said Ryoma, drawing the maid’s attention back to him, “...I’d like it if we weren’t left alone together.”

“Understood.” Kirumi didn’t look offended at all– in fact, it seemed like the tension in her shoulders had left. “Then I will continue to serve you all to the best of my abilities. That is my selfless devotion.”

“We’re gonna have to reign that in a bit…” Kaito commented under his breath. “But it’s a good start! Great job, you two!”

“I’m so glad no one’s holding any grudges…” Kaede breathed out a sigh of relief. She cast a brief look at Tenko, who was staring intently at Kiyo. “...mostly, anyway. I just hope we can all get along like we did before all of that happened.”

“Fuck you mean, not holding any grudges!? Hell yeah I’m holding a grudge!” Miu barked, swiveling her glare towards Kokichi and Gonta. “What the hell was that supposed to be you shota cunt!?”

Gonta promptly burst into tears.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kokichi teased, completely ignoring the boy beside him. “Ohh, wait! Are you talking about your little trap in the virtual world? When you tried to kill me?”

“You knew damn well what I was gonna do!” Miu shouted, banging her fists on the table.

“Uh, guys–” Kaede tried, but Shuichi stopped her. This was one of those things were you had to just let the storm ride out for it to dissipate.

“Gonta so sorry, Miu!” Gonta sobbed. “Gonta wanted to save friends from horrible truth… and Gonta couldn’t let Miu turn into murderer!”

“Y-You’re too much of wimpy pussy for me to be mad at,” Miu snapped in her usual Miu-fashioned fluster. “Your dick’s probably wimpy too! So shut up! It’s Kokichi whose ass I’m gonna kick!”

“You tried to kill me first,” Kokichi argued. “What I did was pretty much self defense.”

“You’re lucky my legs don’t work,” Miu seethed. “I’d come over there and shove my fist so far down your throat you’d be coughing up keratin for the rest of your life!”

“Your fist probably tastes like cum and oil, because being a filthy whore and making things is all you seem to be good for,” Kokichi shot back defensively.

Miu squeaked. “F-F-F-Filfthy wh-whore!? 

Nevermind. Maybe this storm should be intervened with.

“I understand things are difficult between you three,” Shuichi cut into the argument, asserting his voice enough to be heard by them. “And it doesn’t have to be okay right away… or ever. What happened wasn’t okay, and we can all agree what Kokichi did was absolutely terrible, but fighting about it like this isn’t going to help.”

“He fucking killed me!” Miu shouted, violently jabbing her finger at Kokichi. He stuck his tongue out at her in response.

“And you were going to kill him first,” Shuichi reminded her as calmly as he could.

Miu scoffed, crossing her arms.

“At least tone it down in front of Gonta,” Shuichi all but pleaded. “He feels bad enough as it is.”

“Yeah! The fighting is bad for our baby!” Kokichi agreed. “You can have him next week, but this week is mine.”

“Huh!? He’s not our fucking kid! I’m on the pill!” Miu retorted, genuinely baffled.

Well, that was probably as good as Shuichi was going to get. He let out a sigh as the two of them devolved into another argument with even K1-B0 getting involved, simultaneously trying to calm Gonta down and get Miu and Kokichi to quit fighting.

“Wow, Shuichi. You’ve gotten super reliable,” Kaede commented, regarding him with an awestruck expression. “And you took off your hat! You look great without it, Shuichi.”

“...I’m sorry,” he couldn’t help but apologize to her. “I tried to fulfill your wish. I really did.”

“Didn’t you? We’re all here now,” Kaede pointed out, gesturing to everyone. The atmosphere seemed less tense now, even if things were still rocky between a majority of them. Rantaro seemed to be the only one who didn’t hold anything against his attempted killer. “It’s not perfect, but it’s a great start, isn’t it? Everyone’s getting along– all of us are happy! Soon enough, we’re all going to be great friends, just like I wanted us to!”

Shuichi looked around at all of his friends. Miu had separated into a conversation with K1-B0 while Kokichi, Gonta and Ryoma chatted. Angie, Tenko and Himiko were all talking to each other. Kiyo was quiet, but he seemed to be listening to the discussion between Kirumi, Maki, Kaito and Rantaro.

“We should join them,” Kaede suggested, eagerly taking his hand. “I want to catch up on what I missed! I want to know how the killing game ended– all my nurse told me was that one of you broke out of the simulation, and I’m dying to know who it was.”

“You can ask Kokichi,” Shuichi suggested, pulling his hand back to himself. “Sorry, this is… overwhelming… I– I need to go.”

Concern flickered across Kaede’s face. “Huh? Why?”

“I… I knew you all were alive. I knew you were gonna be coming back, b-but…” Shuichi helplessly trailed off. He thought this would be easier, but looking at her now, all he could remember was the way her suspended corpse had swayed midair. “It’s a lot all at once… I’m sorry. I can’t handle this.”

“Shuichi?”

He really couldn’t handle this.

Shuichi’s feet carried him out of the cafeteria, as fast as he could physically manage.

He really hadn’t been prepared for this. It was like talking to a ghost– she could feed him as many fake words of positivity as she wanted, but he knew that deep down, she was horrified. She’d go back to her room and cry, knowing her death hadn’t been justified. That the person she hurt forgave her, because she didn’t actually kill him.

(“Everyone’s getting along– all of us are happy!”)

So why wasn’t he? Why wasn’t Shuichi happy? He ended the killing game. He got the best-case scenario because all of his friends were back! So why, why, why did he still feel so on edge? Was it because he felt that this could be ripped away from him at any moment? Was it the discomfort of knowing he was the one who investigated his classmate’s dead bodies, and then laid out the case of his other classmate’s crimes? Was it because if he had just put a little more thought into it, he could have exposed the mastermind and ended the killing game before anyone else had to die at all?

It was so much. Overwhelming. Shuichi needed to do something with his hands. He needed to move.

His feet carried him all the way to his own room. He closed the privacy curtain as soon as he could and pulled out his phone, pacing in small circles. He needed to write his feelings down. He needed to separate them from himself.

It occurred to him later, when he was talking to his primary nurse, that he never got the chance to apologize to Kokichi.

***

Pretty much everyone shouted at once.

“What!?”

“Are you serious!?” Kaede cried out, standing sharply from her seat and nearly toppling over. “Why would he do that!?”

“Hell if I know!” Kaito shouted back. “I tried to argue with his nurse but they wouldn’t let me inside! Apparently it’s against policy.”

“But why would he do that…?” Maki wondered, and to Kokichi she looked genuinely thrown off. “Why would he ban visitors…? He seemed fine when I talked to him…”

So as you can see, this morning was going great so far.

It was the day after that first breakfast meeting, and Kaito had been the last one to arrive, immediately dominating the natural noise in the room. He had come with that significant, unfortunate news; that Shuichi had banned visitors.

“Did anyone see him after he left the cafeteria yesterday?” Kirumi asked, glancing around at their classmates.

“I tried,” Kaede hesitantly admitted. “I– I was going to ask him about what Kokichi told me yesterday. I thought he’d be okay if it was just the two of us, but… when I went in…”

“What Kokichi told you?” Kaito echoed, already sounding skeptical.

“He told us how Shuichi ended the killing game,” Ryoma thankfully came to his rescue.

“And I only messed with the truth a little,” Kokichi added, masking his anxiety with a charming grin. “I stayed true to Shuichi’s tragic story! I just left out a few things.”

And those few things were things that Kokichi wanted to let Shuichi share himself. Omitting details didn’t necessarily make it a lie; it only simplified the truth.

(When Shuichi dashed out of the cafeteria, the last thing he was expecting was for Kaede to pull in her seat right next to him.

“Shuichi said you can tell me about how the killing game ended,” was what she greeted him with. “So don’t lie to me! I want to know what actually happened.”

“Can’t you ask him yourself?” Kokichi groaned. “I don’t wannaaaaaa.”

“Please?” Kaede begged him, clasping her hands together. “He looked like he trusted you a lot. His eyes went all soft… it was kind of cute, in a way. Did you two get close or something? Maybe you worked together in some elaborate death traps?”

“Like the Death Road of Despair?” Ryoma suggested.

Kaede nodded vigorously. “Yeah! That!”

“Gonta… curious too,” Gonta offered as well.

Kokichi rolled his eyes. There Shuichi went again, dropping trust and responsibility on his head. It was gross and he needed to stop that before Kokichi started making even more noticeable goo-goo eyes at him. He was the cold-hearted, ultimate supreme leader of evil Kokichi Ouma! He couldn’t be fawning over some guy who spoke softly and had the prettiest eyelashes and his hands were gentle and his lips were so delicate and that’s NOT THE POINT.

Shuichi had been avoiding him as of late, though. Whenever Kokichi tried to talk to him, he always looked sad or uncomfortable. In fact, at times he even looked offended. Kokichi didn’t know what that was about, but since it sounded like Shuichi didn’t totally hate him, he was on board with this.

“How the killing game ended…” Kokichi mused in mock thoughtfulness. “Alright, I guess I remember a few things. So how much do you know?”

“Not much,” Kaede admitted with a frustrated huff. “I just know someone managed to leave the simulation and called Future Foundation to help everyone.”

“Well, the guy who did that was actually Shuichi,” Kokichi told her. “He’s pretty humble, I know.”

“Shuichi did that…?” The pianist gasped, her eyes blowing wide as she looked at the cafeteria doorway. “He never told me that!”

“How’d he do it?” asked Ryoma. “Breaking out of the simulation… he’d have to know something was up.”

“Oh, that? Yeah, he just got into a bit of a time loop.” Kokichi inspected his nails disinterestedly, though he was doing his best not to laugh at the mind-boggled expression Kaede was giving him. “I died and Monokuma didn’t know who did it, so the whole simulation totally broke.”

“Time… loop?” Gonta echoed dubiously. “Time go in loop?”

“A time loop is when somebody repeats a certain period of time over and over,” Ryoma explained to him.

Gonta looked mortified. “Over and over? Like… if Gonta wake up tomorrow and tomorrow is today? Time don’t work like that!”

“It was a simulation…” Kaede mused, though she still looked troubled. “Pretty much anything can happen. But why Shuichi?”

“I always assumed it was because of his protagonist powers,” Kokichi joked. “Buuut, logically, it was probably because he had nothing to do with the original murder case. Tsumugi was the mastermind, K1-B0 and Himiko were screwing around in the Exisal hangar, Maki attacked me, Kaito killed me and I died. No one else left but Shuichi.”

“Kaito do what!?” Gonta cried out in horror, earning a questioning look from the astronaut on the other side of the table.

“Long story short, I was trying to end the killing game, so I pretended to be the mastermind and I kidnapped Kaito and destroyed everyone’s will to exist,” Kokichi glossed over his original plan as quickly as he could. “But then Maki screwed it up, so I had Kaito kill me after destroying the electrical signal everywhere so Monokuma wouldn’t know who the culprit was. That’s not important though, because Shuichi got everyone out with no casualties! I don’t remember dying even once!”

Ryoma was giving him that half-lidded, knowing stare. Kokichi tried his best not to sneer at him.

“Okay, wait…” Kaede massaged her temples, squeezing her eyes shut in focus. “So you had Kaito kill you… and Monokuma didn’t know?”

“I got my hands on a fun little thing called an Electrobomb,” Kokichi told her gleefully. “You don’t need to know the details. The important part is that Shuichi used the time loop to not only stop Maki from attacking me and Kaito from killing me, but he also used it to stop the killing game altogether! He figured out who the actual mastermind was, and then apparently the whole simulation bugged out and he ended up on a different “map” or something. Jabberwock Island or whatevs. He and Monokuma teamed up, and that’s when he learned about the simulation.”

“How Kokichi know all this?” Gonta questioned.

“I’m getting there,” Kokichi assured him patiently. “So when he got back from his island vacation, he made up this whole plan to end everything. When Maki was interrogating me, Shuichi stormed into the hangar, and guess what? He held us all at gunpoint!”

Nearby, Kiyo choked on his drink.

“Wh-What!? Shuichi got a gun?” Kaede gasped. “How!? Wait– Shuichi can use a gun!?"

“He was pretty scary with it, too,” Kokichi informed her. “Seeing him yell at Kaito and Maki was pretty funny. He locked them in the bathroom– this all happened in the Exisal hangar, by the way. It had a bathroom. He locked them in there and then you’ll never guess what he did to me."

Three expectant gazes met his.

“Guess,” he urged them.

“Umm… he tell you everything that happen?” Gonta tried.

“He shot you?” was Ryoma’s darker suggestion.

“Did he lock you in the hangar…?” Kaede offered.

“WRONG! He drugged me, handcuffed me, and took me prisoner!” Kokichi announced with pure delight. The looks on their faces was so worth the theatrics. “He wanted just a little more information out of Monokuma, who I had trapped with the Exisals. At this point, he was being all tragic and mysterious, so I knew he was never going to actually hurt me.”

“Didn’t you just say he drugged you?” Ryoma pointed out.

“He didn’t hurt me though,” Kokichi protested. “He won’t try that again. He knows better. Anyway, me and him decided to put on a little… show, so to speak. He used me as leverage to get the information he wanted out of Monokuma. And when he did, we blew him up and went to Shuichi’s room together.”

“You BLEW UP Monokuma!?” Kaede yelped. “Isn’t that against the school rules…?”

“It was needed to stop the time loop, so Monokuma was cool with it.” At least, that’s what Kokichi had interpreted, anyway. Monokuma’s last words had been pretty ominous. “After he said goodbye and some really cheesy crap like let’s be more than friends if we meet again, bleh, I fell asleep. And when I woke up, he was gone. Just like that.”

Kaede suddenly seized him by the shoulders, and the only reason he didn’t automatically punch her was because his arms were tired. He didn’t like being grabbed, thanks.

“He said that to you!?” Kaede demanded with virtual stars in her eyes. “Did he really?”

“Sort of?” Kokichi cringed away from her. “His exact words are traumatized into my memory. He said, “all I hope is that, when this is all over and everyone is finally safe, we can be friends. Or maybe something more than that”. Why? Are you jealous? Are you gonna go psycho and start killing everyone close to him?”

“Wh-What? No!” Kaede jerked her hands away from him, and it occurred to him that murder may still be a touchy subject for her. He’d have to reel those jokes in a bit. “I was just super intrigued! I didn’t know Shuichi was the romantic type!"

Kokichi habitually slammed a blank look on his face.

“Romantic?” he asked, keeping his voice blank.

“Obviously he was asking you on a date!” Kaede exclaimed. “He must have been so unsure of himself… he wanted to tell you how he felt in case he never got to see you again!”

The notion was so outlandish, Kokichi almost laughed. He played off his feelings for Shuichi as a joke because he knew there was no way they’d ever be reciprocated. Who would ever love him in that way in the first place? Certainly not Shuichi. Hadn’t he been making puppy eyes at Kaede? When would he have switched up?

(“I don’t know what it is I feel towards you, but it isn’t hate. Never hate.”)

Oh. Oh wait a minute.

(“I’m… really happy you’re awake.”)

“Well, all he’s done since we got here is avoid me, so if he does want to ask me out he’s pretty bad at it,” Kokichi snorted, frantically taking all of those complicated emotions and packing them into a tight ball and launching them into the metaphorical sun. “He keeps looking at me like I killed his dog or something.”

“Not sure how any of you managed to fall in love with someone in something like a killing game…” Ryoma commented. “Teenagers will be teenagers, I guess.”

“Isn’t Ryoma teen as well?” Gonta pointed out.

Ryoma shrugged. “I’m a little older, but yeah. I’m a teenager.”

“Back on track, I woke up and Shuichi was gone,” Kokichi stubbornly continued. “He left behind this really in depth note explaining everything that happened to him in the time loop and telling us who the actual mastermind was. While I was sleeping, he apparently blew up part of the End Wall, but because the simulation was already breaking, the morning announcement just fixed the hole so all of us were stuck there. Then we all woke up here, so that’s basically how Shuichi ended the killing game.”

“Wait, but… what did Shuichi do in those time loops?” Kaede asked. “And how did he know Tsumugi was the mastermind?”

For a moment, Kokichi did consider telling her. The others probably would without thinking for a second about it– Shuichi had shared this knowledge with them, so where’s the harm in spreading it?

No, Kokichi wouldn’t believe that so easily. Shuichi may have shared his experiences with them in his parting letter, but Kokichi didn’t care about that. His focus was placed on Shuichi’s intent.

That letter had been left behind as an explanation, and Shuichi had said so himself– that he didn’t think anyone would believe him. He only used the horrors he went though in that time loop as a point of argument; the circumstances he was in forced him to do so. It wasn’t that he trusted them to safely open up about his experience. Quite the opposite, in fact. He had only written all of that out as a last ditch, desperate effort to convince them that he was being honest. That the suffering, the torment he had gone through, was real.

Kokichi didn’t have any place to be sharing Shuichi’s business with these guys. That wouldn’t be fair to him.

“Sorry, that one’s classified!” Kokichi teased instead. “You’ll have to ask him yourself. It was so boring to read I’ve already blocked it out of my memory.”

“Wh– that’s not very considerate!” Kaede huffed.

“Nah. I just think he doesn’t want to tell us,” said Ryoma. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

“Actually, Shuichi threatened to muzzle me if I told anyone…” Kokichi shuddered as hard as he could. “He was super mean about it too…”

“But Gonta thought Kokichi doesn’t remember Shuichi’s story…?” Gonta crossed his arms, his brows furrowed deep in thought.

“Yeah, I’m just lying. Actually, it’s information protected by this super reliable organization. It’s keter, y’know.” Kokichi tapped his chin. “What was it called? Secure, contain… something something…”

“You know what? I’ll just ask him myself,” Kaede decided. “Honestly, Kokichi. You make everything so confusing all the time.”

Kokichi only offered her a grin. “I know.”)

“Which is what I wanted to talk to Shuichi about,” Kaede verified, pulling him back to reality. She gnawed on her nails, looking almost impressively worried. “But when I went into his room, he was typing on a phone with a really unnerving expression! He didn’t even notice me come in, and I didn’t want to interrupt him…”

Yikes. Shuichi must have taken breakfast really bad yesterday if he was that out of it, then. Though Kokichi couldn’t blame him– he had felt his heart drop out of his chest when he saw Gonta up and about.

“Phone?” Rantaro echoed inquisitively.

“Future Foundation gave it to him,” Maki answered for him. “It’s pretty special to him. But more importantly, why would he ban visitors? I thought he wanted to reunite with everyone.”

“He did blow up on Kaito pretty easily…” Himiko reminded. “Maybe he’s just not emotionally prepared for us yet.”

“Then cutting us off is pretty counterproductive!” Kaito snapped. “Damn it… I told him not to shoulder everything on his own…”

Kokichi was just as lost as they were. Why would Shuichi close himself off? He doesn’t usually isolate himself like this.

Then again, he was in a time loop. Self-isolation is all he did for, like… half of it.

“I’m gonna try and fix this,” Kaito continued talking. “I can’t let my sidekick do stupid shit that’s gonna harm him.”

“What are you, in love with him?” Miu snorted. “Who gives a shit if he’s locked himself up? He’ll be back in a few days, just watch.”

“Atua says leaving Shuichi on his own will lead to unfortunate consequences,” Angie inputted.

“I don’t think harassing him is going to make him feel better,” Rantaro pointed out. “I heard something about a time loop, and how he ended the killing game. Maybe he just needs some time alone.”

“But going as far as to ban visitors… couldn’t he just tell us he needed time?” Kaede fretted.

Kokichi jerked his head towards the robot. “Keeboy did it.”

“I banned visitors because I was concerned for yours and my safety,” K1-B0 corrected him. “I wanted to ensure Team Danganronpa hadn’t made me a threat before I rejoined you all.”

“Have you considered that you’re a threat to society in general?” Kokichi suggested. “Or at least, what’s left of it. Maybe the final stage of apocalypse is the robo uprising!”

“The legal system may have collapsed but mark my words, I will rebuild it and I will sue you for your robophobia!” K1-B0 declared with unadulterated determination.

“Like a robo lawyer,” mused Himiko.

“Let’s give him a day or two,” Maki suggested. “If he’s not back then, we can bring up our concerns to the nurses. They probably won’t endorse self-isolation.”

“Are you sure? I mean, what if he hurts himself?” Kaede worried.

“They always say it gets worse before it gets better.” Rantaro shrugged. “Some of us handle things better alone. He’ll process everything that happened then come back to us when he’s ready.”

But banning visitors is pretty out of character. Kokichi tried not to let it show on his face just how worried he was. Wasn’t there a big moral lesson about not doing things alone? He talked about wanting to see us again– that was his whole thing when he was saying bye to me.

So if he was so excited before, why did he switch up? This would’ve been, like, the best-case scenario for him.

What could he possibly be thinking?

–

What their lives were like after the Tragedy and before the killing game were things that Future Foundation refused to disclose. The only clues they had were their bodies.

For Kokichi, his clues came in the form of hurt. His stomach hurt whenever he ate and his body was weak and thin, but that was because he was dangerously malnutritioned. All he had heard was that he was starved, and he had made up plenty of theories about that. Overexerting himself would lead to a pinched ache in his back, where there had apparently been some big wound that no one had cared to treat before. It would scar, but he didn't care that much.

Really, he didn’t. It was just something that permanently altered his body forever and he had no way of ever getting rid of it. Which was fine. Totally.

That was what his therapist had politely attempted to bring up. Yup, you heard it here. Kokichi Ouma got a therapist. Absolutely unbelievable, he knows. Future Foundation wanted him to make a conscious effort to get better, whatever that was supposed to mean, so he was required to attend at least a few sessions of therapy.

“So you’re unhappy with not knowing what happened before the killing game?” his therapist had guessed.

“I’m overjoyed,” he had deadpanned.

“I can tell,” they replied dryly, matching his tone almost perfectly. At least they had a sense of humor, he figured. “I’ve heard you’re a tough cookie, so we’re gonna take this slow.”

“Slow.”

“Yup. Slow. Unless you want to go at lightning speed.”

“Ooh, lightning round! Hit me with it, Mr. Miss Therapist. I’ll answer anything so long as I get something sweet after.”

“I’ll see what I can do, but… alright. Prepare yourself.”

He had prepared. Hard. As much as the idea of sharing his feelings with a total stranger utterly disgusted him, even Kaito was meeting with one of the two therapist’s Future Foundation had to spare for all of them. And if Kokichi was anything, it was spiteful. Heaven knows all of D.I.C.E had encouraged him to find one when he was older back then, so if the thought of beating Kaito at therapy was what drove him to attend, then he wasn’t going to back down from the challenge.

So what was he doing now, not with his therapist? Well…

“We’ll start small.” They had flipped down a few pages on their, quite frankly, massive notepad. It was almost comical. “You can always recover from malnutrition, but it sounds like that scar… isn’t going away. I’ve heard you’re the thoughtful type, so do you have any ideas on how that could have got there?”

“Hmm… ideas… actually, I have one!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yup! Let me get my notes. You’re gonna loooove this. This theory I call… magic escape act.”

Kokichi did want to try therapy. The keyword was try. And in his defense, no, he was not running away. He was… playing hard to get.

“Usually I can run longer…” he grumbled under his breath, glaring down at his legs. They didn’t carry him very far, which sucked. Usually he could run around all the way around the school without getting this tired.

It looked like he had arrived at the entrance of the recreation room, and he could hear voices inside. Peeking inside, he saw Kaede, Kaito, Kirumi, Gonta and Maki inside. Two of the less tolerable people, but Gonta and Kaede being there made up for it, he supposed. Besides, it would be the perfect cover.

Kaito and Kaede seemed to be deep in some conversation while Gonta was reading some book to Kirumi, who appeared a little interested, at least. Maki was kind of brooding in the corner, nearby but not contributing to anything. Hopefully she’d keep her presence to the minimum of glaring at him.

“...did that?” Kaede was saying, her eyes sparkling.

“Yeah he did! With my help, of course,” Kaito told her with his big, stupidly positive grin. “He didn’t let his enemies overcome him, and that makes him really strong. It’s your wish that inspired him to push himself!”

“I thought it was you who did that?” Kokichi inserted himself into the conversation.

“WAH–!” Kaito jumped at the sound of his voice, and surprise automatically turned into sourness when he saw him. “Oh… it’s you.”

“Hi, Kokichi,” Kaede greeted him kindly. “Kaito was telling me about how far Shuichi came after I… was gone.”

Ah, Shuichi. It had been a few days after he had locked himself up, and no one had seen him since. Kaito had gotten in trouble for banging at his door for fifteen minutes straight, but other than that, there were no updates. Kokichi was about ready to lockpick his way inside.

“Well, I wouldn’t listen to Kaito about the numbers,” Kokichi warned her. “He’ll inflate the number like crazy, just like how he inflates his ego.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting counseling or something?” Maki grumbled before Kaito could retort.

“That? Oh, I finished that. I’m a changed man now,” Kokichi effortlessly replied. “I beat the final boss in therapy and won, so now I’m top on the speedrun charts.”

“There’s a speedrunning category for therapy?” Kaede asked, momentarily looking thoughtful.

“I just made one,” Kokichi told her cheerfully. He plopped down on the couch next to her, grinning widely. “So! What are we doing today, everybody? Are we finally going to beat Kaito to death with a broom? Hey, Kirumi!”

Sitting on the ground near the bookshelf behind them, Kirumi looked up.

“We’re not beating anyone to death with a broom!” Kaito shouted. “Quit saying such unpleasant shit when we’re having a normal conversation!”

“And don’t threaten people,” Maki added darkly from her corner.

“What are you, my parents?” Kokichi snorted. “I’ll threaten whoever I want. I am the Ultimate Supreme Leader of Evil.”

“They should change that to the Ultimate Supreme Killjoy…” Kaito growled.

“Do you think they’ll let us duct tape his mouth shut?” Kaede wondered.

“Hey! Now you’re teaming up on me, too!?” Kokichi gasped in offense, touching his chest. “What is this, the dark ages? Where we pick on sad, little innocent orphan boys!?”

“Why are you sad? I thought you beat therapy,” Maki pointed out. “Also, you’re far from innocent.”

“You’re right. I’m actually the son of a really rich family,” Kokichi lied. “How else do you think I got my secret organization’s matching outfits tailored?”

Maki lifted an eyebrow. “Your secret organization has matching outfits?”

“It’s called presentation. Not that you would know that, being an assassin,” Kokichi sneered at her.

He was pretty sure he came this close to getting throttled by Maki. The only reason his neck remained untouched was because Kaede shot him a bewildered look.

“Wait! What? Maki’s a what!?”

Whoops. He forgot that that big plot twist wasn’t known among their entire group.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Kokichi quickly stood up from the couch, suddenly needing to remove himself from the conversation. Outing Maki like that was going to make specifically two people in this room very mad, so he should probably start running as soon as possible. “Yeah! Maki’s a cold-hearted killer! Crazy how you never knew her actual talent, right?”

“One more word out of you and I’m clocking you six ways from Sunday,” Kaito snarled dangerously, which paired perfectly with the death glare Maki was giving him. A match made in heaven really, and also a match who maybe wanted him dead.

“What does that even mean?” Kokichi snorted. “Well, I’m going to six ways myself out of this room before that therapist person catches up. Glad I could spread my positive influence!”

The minute he saw Kaito’s hand ball into a fist, he was out of there. The break at least gave his legs time to recover, so he hurried his way to the cafeteria. Maybe some of his other classmates would be there that hated him a little less.

Or Miu would be there. He was pretty mad at her for getting him scolded by Shuichi, but he guessed that she deserved to be a little mad at him. He did get her killed, after all, even though it was Gonta who agreed to the whole plan. Gonta knew exactly what he was doing when he strangled the life out of her and no one was blaming him.

Well, whatever. No matter how annoying it was to watch his classmates baby Gonta, it didn’t matter. No more killing game meant there was no more need for such heavy conflict. So he’d have to lighten up and get along with everyone, even if he was pretty sure a majority of his classmates disliked him and the other half were afraid of him. Miu and Maki probably wanted him in the ground, Himiko was undeniably scared of him, and Kaito he was pretty sure Kaito was a mix of both. K1-B0 remained as civil as Kokichi would let him, and Shuichi…

(“Obviously he was asking you on a date! He must have been so unsure of himself… he wanted to tell you how he felt in case he never got to see you again!”)

…was trying to avoid him as much as possible.

Is it guilt? Kokichi wondered as he entered the cafeteria. Rantaro was there with Himiko and Tenko, talking idly and not noticing his arrival. Does he feel bad for what he did to me? Is it because I told him he could leave when I woke up…? He seemed pretty butthurt about it, but I thought he’d be more reasonable than that. That’s totally not a reason to avoid me. Who knows? Maybe he just hates me now.

(“I’m… really happy you’re awake, Kokichi.”)

Hmm. Hate wouldn’t make sense, though. Shuichi didn’t look at him with disdain– he just looked hurt. When Kokichi tried to conversationally play with him as usual, he was quiet, his expression twitching as if he was trying not to look too sad but also as if he didn’t really know what to do with himself.

The change in attitude, as far as Kokichi could tell, had happened when he woke up. He had come to fully to find Shuichi holding his wrist and gently explaining the situation to him. Then because Kokichi didn’t want any company at that moment, he told Shuichi he could leave. He thought he had made it clear that it was just an in-the-moment thing, so he wasn’t sure how anyone could have misinterpreted that.

And once again, Shuichi plagued his mind. He let out a sigh, turning to look at the group on the other side of the room. Tenko was talking loudly to Himiko, while Rantaro just looked tired. He had his hand on his head, propped up against the tabletop as he simply gazed at the two girls, entirely idle.

Hmm. Maybe he could bother them without getting a hand chopped into his throat. Those odds were slim, but hey. No one ever said he didn’t like to gamble.

–

“Hey, Kokichi.”

Kokichi looked up from the coloring book he had been brutalizing with many different colors of crayon, forcing his swinging feet to a stop.

“Never expected you to be here,” Rantaro started, sitting down on the floor beside him. “What're you up to?”

“I’m expressing my artistic side in this notebook Ms. Mister Therapist gave me,” Kokichi told him cheerfully. “I’m what they call a flight risk in the industry.”

“That’s about what I expected,” Rantaro sighed fondly.

“I know! I’m glad someone has finally taken notice.” Kokichi laid down his crayon, sitting upright. “This is a secret I haven’t told anyone else, but I was actually born with wings. They called me Tenshi at birth before they realized I was a freak of human nature and sawed my wings off.”

“I see. That’s a real shame.” Rantaro shot a thoughtful look at his back, as if he were trying to visualize what his wings would have looked like. “But I’m pretty sure that’s not true, is it?”

Kokichi grinned. “Nope! It’ll be a cold day in hell when humans start growing wings, even if it would be really cool. But imagine the societal pressure that’d be put on us– our wings could be clipped. The government would restrict us from flying so we don’t get hit by airplanes! We’d have to remodel every chair that isn’t a stool.”

“Yeah, that’d be troublesome,” Rantaro sighed. “If we had wings, our bodies would also have to adjust to being able to handle things like high air pressure and low oxygen levels. Otherwise, wings would pretty much just be cosmetic.”

“Man can only dream,” Kokichi lamented. “Anyway, why are you bothering me during my art therapy? I have competition, y’know.”

“Competition… in therapy?” Rantaro guessed, appearing briefly stumped before he wisely decided to move on. “Well, I actually came to give you something.”

Give me something? What could there possibly be for Rantaro to give him? It had only been, like, a week since Kokichi was given free roam of the hospital wing they were in and he had tired every possibility of entertainment already.

“Ooh, free things?” Kokichi inquired in delight. Whatever it was, it was something given to him by someone who he didn’t piss off with everything he said and did, so he’d gladly accept it.

“Sorry, I phrased that wrong,” Rantaro corrected himself sheepishly. “Shuichi asked me to give you something.”

Oh. Now that was a way to take him by surprise.

“Shuichi? You mean, no-visitors-allowed Shuichi?” Kokichi clarified, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little shocked. Shuichi had been radio silent for the… what, four/five days since he locked himself up? What could possibly make him emerge from his shell now?

“Yup. He showed up at my door just now and told me to give you this.” Rantaro reached into his pocket and fished out…

…a cellphone.

(“Phone?"

“Future Foundation gave it to him. It’s pretty special to him.")

“Believe me, I tried to ask him what he’s been up to,” Rantaro told him as he took the delicately phone into his own hands. “But the more I asked, the more he looked like he was about to cry. All he did was apologize to me for being too late to save me.”

The phone had a black, thick case and it wasn’t password protected; the only (important) app icons he could see on the home screen were the contacts, the phone, a notes app and something labeled foundationfuture.gov/mediaarchive. This must be how Shuichi stayed in contact with the heads of the Future Foundation– which might mean that he just gave Kokichi access to a very important device.

“He also said that you were free to read his notes and to not worry about invading his privacy,” Rantaro added, though he sounded hesitant. “My guess is that this is his way of reaching out. From what I’ve heard, he seems to like you quite a bit.”

Is that all there is to it? Kokichi wondered as he opened the notes app. Holy crap! How much did he write in this thing!?

“Well.” Rantaro lifted himself to his feet. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

The first note was titled simply “to koki”. However, looking down… his note titles sent a nervous pang through his heart– things like “how it felt to kill myself”, “rantaros case”, “koki’s mad?”, “tsumugi”, “the kg survivors”, “i want to live”, “time loop”, and it just continued on like that. A bitter emotion to feel, one that raised his the hair on the back of his neck; uncertainty.

“Hold on,” Kokichi said to Rantaro, not taking his eyes off of the phone. This wasn’t right, he could feel it in his bones. Everything about this situation felt wrong. “Just wait a sec.”

Although he looked confused, Rantaro obeyed.

With his backup secured, Kokichi opened the note addressed to him. A few paragraphs greeted him.

It read,

“The first time i called you Koki was in the 14th time loop. When you were holding me in your lap and telling me to go to sleep, i never felt safer. I was so tired i didn't even realize i didn't finish saying your name. And you said to me “koki? is shuichi giving me pet names already?”. The nickname stuck with me throughout the time loop because it made me remember how safe i felt with you. How i felt like i could never be hurt if you were holding me.

I wanted that to happen again. When you woke up i was so excited because i was so happy that you were back. Maki was mad at me, kiibo wouldn't let anyone see him so all i had at that moment was you. Idk what i was expecting to happen. You punched me and then told me to go away. I'm sorry for hurting you i really am. I'm sorry for drugging you and pushing a gun into your head and i'm sorry i let you die so many times. If i could redo it all over again i promise i would have saved you sooner. You don't have to forgive me or talk to me again i don't mind i just want you to be happy. It's gonna be hard i know but the killing game is over, you can relax

You mean a lot to me Kokichi. You’re why i was in the time loop to begin with and because of that i ended the killing game. It was so scary and so painful but i'm so happy i could save you :) i want to say it now because i didn't get to before. I love you. It's so weird haha i'm shaking while i'm typing this which is so ridiculous because it doesn't matter but at the same time it does. I'm sorry i couldn't tell you this to your face. You’d know something is wrong. I want to tell you i love you. I want to look you in your eyes while i do it because they’re so pretty and they’re so safe. Koki

Please don't be mad at me anymore. And please don't blame yourself because it's not your fault. I trust you with my phone. You can read the other notes, i don't mind! I know you like to know things so maybe this will help. I'm sorry for everything. Please believe me.

I love you kokichi”

Kokichi felt rooted on the spot. It was as if ice had flooded his veins.

“How long ago did he give you this?” Kokichi demanded urgently, flying to his feet.

Rantaro looked worried. “About… ten minutes ago, maybe.”

Shit. Oh shit. “Do you know where he went!?”

“His room, but–” Rantaro stopped, his eyes widening. “He wouldn’t really…?”

That was all the answer he needed.

The strained pain in his legs didn’t matter nor did the ache that his panic caused in his chest. What mattered was Shuichi and getting there before he did something stupid.

When Shuichi had banned visitors, this was a possibility that had crossed Kokichi’s mind. He knew Shuichi was already having a tough time between dealing with what happened in the time loop, apparently what happened in the clinic and the killing game overall, so when you mixed someone like that with total isolation? It was never going to end well.

Kokichi pretty much slammed face first into Shuichi’s door. It fumbled with the doorknob, expecting it to be locked, but much to his surprise, the door swung wide open. He exchanged the briefest of looks with Rantaro before he hurried into the room.

Shuichi, please let me be wrong. Please, please, please–

The lights were off and the privacy curtain was closed, so the room was very dim.

But no matter how dark the room could have been, he would never miss it.

The person on the floor, kitchen knife in hand. How he had gotten it, Kokichi couldn’t be sure. But he hardly cared about that compared to the blood all over the floor.

Shuichi Saihara, lying on his side, with his wrists slit open.

There was so much blood. He thought the past murders were bad, but no– this was worse. Infinitely worse, because the blood was forming a puddle beneath him and his coat and shirt were soaked in it. It was fresh, mere minutes old. Every cut on his arm– his neck– it poured out endlessly and he was dying.

Oh god. Shuichi was dying!

“SHUICHI!”

It took a while for everything to settle.

The cafeteria had been closed off entirely as the kitchen was inspected; the lock to the door had apparently been broken. One of the knives was missing. All of those were quickly moved far out of their reach.

Of course, not everyone knew why this was. No one even asked. Right now, what happened was his and Rantaro’s little secret.

At around midnight, he and Rantaro had spoken to a lady named Aoi Asahina, who had rushed to the scene as fast as she could. Shuichi was still being treated and monitored at this time, but they told him he could go in when he was stabilized. They’d dropped Shuichi’s ban on visitors, but only far too late. For a hospital, they did a pretty poor job of watching him. Especially when they literally had nurses whose jobs were to keep an eye on their patients.

Well, it’s not like Kokichi could blame them. It wasn’t like anyone could have seen this coming– Shuichi’s primary nurse was also apparently Miu’s, who needed a lot more constant supervision. It was easy to assume Shuichi wasn’t– or, rather, couldn’t hurt himself. Besides, the time loop had made Shuichi a slippery actor; a walking lie masked with the desire to get better. Kokichi did believe he wanted to– his notes proved that– but when you do things alone for so long… when you are alone for that long… it isn’t easy to flip right back around and depend on others again. Things just didn’t work like that.

Kokichi should have noticed sooner, because he was having the same problem. Both he and Shuichi had put on acts to protect their problems from ever being unburied, but where Kokichi had used that act to join his classmates, Shuichi had used it to hide himself further away.

Once they told that Aoi lady what they knew, she let him keep Shuichi’s phone. It was Shuichi’s after all, and the last thing Shuichi had done was give it to him. She simply told him to give it back when Shuichi woke up, because from the sounds of how he used it, he was going to need it again.

Both he and Rantaro waited outside of Shuichi's room pretty much all night. Neither of them went back to their own rooms; Rantaro simply fell asleep in his chair, and by extension, Kokichi eventually did as well. But the kinks in his neck and the pain in his back were hardly anything he paid much attention to. What he cared about was Shuichi.

Now it was morning, and time for the everyday breakfast meeting. Pretty much all of their nurses encouraged it from a mental health standpoint, though their doctors warned them to be very careful when exerting themselves.

“We’re gonna have to tell them,” Rantaro murmured to him on their way to the cafeteria, which had reopened this morning.

“I know,” Kokichi grumbled. Rantaro was guiding him as he walked, seeing his eyes were glued onto Shuichi’s phone. His “time loop” note was long, that’s for sure. “Maki will probably think I tried to kill him.”

“Come on now. Maki’s sensible,” Rantaro assured him, and he snorted. “...most of the time. Just try not to be too antagonistic, alright? If you have the urge to say something, write it down on that phone. I’m sure Shuichi wouldn't mind “

“Wha–? So I’m banned from talking?”

“Well, everything that comes out of your mouth tends to be pretty angering,” Rantaro pointed out coolly. “You’re pretty fond of provoking people, and with this kind of news, we need the opposite of that.”

Damn it, that was true. He hummed. “Can I cry? Maybe if I tell them about Shuichi’s almost dead body they won’t choke me.”

“Let’s… not do that,” Rantaro disapproved. “You can cry, but try to keep the details to a minimum, alright? If I was in Shuichi’s situation, I wouldn’t want anyone talking about how I looked half dead.”

“But he was mostly dead.”

“You get my point.”

He did. He was just trying to feel as if the mood were lighter than it really was.

Rantaro patted him encouragingly on the back just before they entered the cafeteria, where pretty much everyone aside from their usual two was waiting. Tsumugi was missing for obvious reasons, and while Shuichi usually didn’t attend because he was self-isolating, now… he couldn’t.

Try to get through this unproblematically, he reminded himself, staring down at Shuichi’s written words on the screen. You’re not staying for long anyway, so don’t purposefully infuriate anyone… don’t unpurposefully infuriate anyone… just talk like a normal person whose friend/boy crush just tried to kill himself. Actually, what would a normal person do? What would everyone in D.I.C.E do?

Probably something a lot more reasonable than he could ever think of. Pissing people off when he was stressed was his whole thing! How was he going to get through this?

Hmm. Maybe Rantaro was right. Keeping his mouth shut might be the relatively better option.

“Hey everybody,” Rantaro greeted their classmate, effectively capturing their attention.

“Hey, Ranta– damn!” Kaito exclaimed, jerking out of his chair in surprise. “What happened to you two!? Your faces…”

“Your face is irreparable and disgusting but you don’t see me crying about it,” Kokichi’s mouth automatically retaliated. He bit his tongue and grinded his teeth, refusing to look at Kaito. Or anyone at all, really.

“Was that you trying to have self control?” Rantaro asked, sounding only mildly amused as Kaito shouted in outrage. He was so easy to rile up, Kokichi just couldn’t resist. “Don’t pay him any mind, Kaito. It’s been… a hard night.”

“Huh!? Hard?” Miu demanded hotly. “Like? Hard hard? Wh-What the fuck were you two getting up to!?”

Ooh. Ohhhh this was so much harder than he thought it’d be. These people were just asking for it. BUT just this once, for the sake of delivering difficult news on Shuichi’s behalf, he’d make a conscious effort to not be a jerk. He could leave once they dropped the news bomb.

“Hang on.” He could feel Maki’s glare intensify from her place next to Kaito as she spoke. “Is that… Shuichi’s phone? Where did you get that?”

“Well I actually–”

Rantaro’s hand flew to cover his mouth. “Whatever he was about to say isn’t true. Shuichi gave it to him.”

“He gave Kokichi his phone?” Kaito echoed dubiously.

“Why would he do that?” Kirumi wondered.

“You guys didn’t know? Shuichi really likes Kokichi!” Kaede, as optimistic as ever, exclaimed. “It makes sense he would share something valuable to him with the person he likes!”

“Likes?” Angie repeated. “What type of like are we talking about?”

“Is it a hard night type of like?” Miu inquired, a wide grin on her face. “And you boys know what I’m talking about, don’t act dumb! I know just how easily you get your rocks off on everything, even each other!”

“Must you be so vulgar while we are trying to eat?” Korekiyo asked her dryly.

“Hard night means difficult night,” Gonta mused, ignoring Miu’s eccentricities. “Rantaro and Kokichi… have difficult night? Are Rantaro and Kokichi okay?”

“...we’ll manage,” Rantaro responded after a moment. “We do have some pretty bad news though, so we need you to bear with us.”

Kokichi pulled Rantaro’s hand away from his mouth. “Bear with him. I’m opting out of this conversation before all of Shuichi’s other boyfriends and girlfriends try to kill me.”

“One, Shuichi isn’t dating anyone,” Kaito corrected him. “And two… is Shuichi alright?”

“He’s in mint condition,” Kokichi deadpanned.

“Oh boy… so yesterday, you remember how the cafeteria closed all of the sudden?” Rantaro prompted. Following their classmate’s affirmation, he continued. “And a ton of doctors got really busy out of pretty much nowhere. Well… that was because of Shuichi. He told me to give Kokichi his phone, and then he… he attempted suicide. He nearly killed himself.”

The room went dead silent.

Though it was quiet, Kokichi could see their expressions. Shock, disbelief, grief and horror were all present, even among those who were usually more composed like Maki and Korekiyo. Those closer to Shuichi, like Kaede, Kaito and Maki, all looked as if he had just announced Shuichi’s untimely death, while everyone else appeared to be stunned.

“...you’re kidding, right?” Kaede finally choked out, breaking the tense spell of silence.

“I wish I was,” Rantaro sighed grimly. “He almost bled to death. Kokichi realized what he intended to do, which is the only reason why he’s alive right now.”

Kokichi kept his eyes down on the darkened phone screen. Shuichi had avoided giving it to him directly because he knew that Kokichi would catch on immediately. He went out of his way to ask Rantaro to do it, who knew the least about him and his tells and this would be less likely to notice something dangerously off. Even then, he had still managed to stop him.

And the door was unlocked when I got there…

“But… why?” Himiko spoke, her voice weak. Tenko immediately wrapped her arm around her and let the smaller girl lean into her side, which she seemed to gladly comply to. “Why would Shuichi do that? We were finally okay, weren’t we? Isn’t this what he wanted?”

“We were okay,” K1-B0 corrected her. “Shuichi… clearly was not. Don’t you remember how he shouted at Kaito during our first morning meeting? He was snappy and quick to be defensive… something was clearly wrong.”

“I thought it was because he thought I was mad at him,” Maki inputted. “I apologized to him, and he apologized to me, so I thought that’d be the end of it.”

“There was more on his mind, though,” Kirumi stated for her.

“Did he give either of you any reason?” Ryoma questioned. “As in, why he did it, or what triggered him to do it?”

For the first time, Kokichi was okay with keeping quiet. He had his guesses as to what that final push could have been, but he couldn’t know for sure until Shuichi told him himself. As for why… that probably felt pretty obvious.

“The time loop,” Kokichi stated. “Obviously that’s why. And, oh, maybe it’s the fact he survived a killing game? And not only that but it’s the survivors guilt he had that blew up in his face because everyone who died is back all of the sudden?”

Kaito looked furious. “Are you saying that’s a bad thing!?”

“Nope! I’m pretty happy about it! And I know Shuichi is too,” Kokichi said with full confidence. “That’s probably why he felt so bad about it.”

“When he ran away from that morning meeting, he said he wasn’t able to handle it and that it was overwhelming,” Kaede mused anxiously. “I thought he just needed a moment, I–... then he blocked off visitors… I never thought he’d do that to himself. I should have followed him…”

“Blaming yourself isn’t going to help,” Rantaro thankfully called her out. “I was the last person he came to before he attempted, so if you didn’t notice, then I absolutely should have. But I’m not going to blame myself because that’s not what he needs right now.”

“Exactly. Blaming yourself is just going to make him feel worse,” Maki agreed. “More guilt is the last thing Shuichi needs.”

“...okay. Sorry, I get it.” Kaede perked up, her somber demeanor transforming into something more determined. “Shuichi needs us, so we can’t let ourselves be down. Let’s work out what we can do for him when he wakes up! Let’s try to make him as comfortable as possible.”

Annnd yup! This is where Kokichi was going to take his leave. He came to deliver the news, not to listen to everyone pretend they knew what Shuichi did and didn’t want. He especially didn’t want to be involved in the questions about the time loop that were inevitably going to be asked.

With that in mind, he turned on his heel and began to leave the cafeteria.

“Kokichi. Are you heading back?” Rantaro asked him before he could fully leave. He didn’t have to say a word for Rantaro to know. “Alright, then. Take it easy.”

Ew, was Rantaro worried about him? One could say that finding someone you cared about bleeding to death on the floor was inherently a trauamtic experience, but Rantaro wasn’t his therapist. That honor went to the poor person who he had pretty much perfected playing hide and seek with– they had the patience of a saint, he’d tell you that.

Either way, he gave Rantaro a nod, leaving the cafeteria before anyone could stop him.

What triggered Shuichi to do such a thing wasn’t really in his main concerns. Why was definitely a factor to be taken into consideration, but what Kokichi was focused most on was stopping Shuichi from ever getting to that point again. He had clearly tried to stop it on his own, too; every note he wrote was to release his emotions into word form, sealing it in one little app. The problem came with the fact that Shuichi tried to do it alone.

Shuichi explained it across many notes. He forbade visitors because the time loop had made loneliness a comfort to him. When things became too much to bear, Shuichi always tried to bury that feeling. He tried so hard to separate it from himself– to move past it, because there was a greater goal at hand and his friends needed him. Once that goal was complete and the threat was gone, what was left for him? The quest of getting better? Shuichi didn’t know how to do that– not on his own.

So Shuichi needed a bit of help. And even if Kokichi wasn’t sure how he could do that yet… he’d try. He’d try his best for the boy who tried his hardest to save him from himself.

And… for the boy he loves, you know?

Chapter Text

Once he did this, there was no backing out.

That was all he could think about as he lifted his hand to knock on Rantaro’s door.

Once he gave Rantaro his phone, his fate was sealed. The kitchen knife he had shamefully stolen was under his pillow in his room, waiting for him to come back. Waiting for this all to end.

Shuichi was going to kill himself. There was no backing out of this.

“Come in!” he heard Rantaro call from inside.

Hand shaking, Shuichi opened the door. 

Stepping into that room was like stepping into a parallel reality. Shuichi was no longer in control of himself. He was in the backseat of his own mind, watching himself numbly meet Rantaro’s eyes.

“Shuichi?” Rantaro sounded earnestly surprised. He was sitting on his bed, his legs dangling off the side of it. “Huh. Wasn’t expecting that one.”

“Can we talk really quick?” Shuichi asked him.

“I’ll leave you two be,” Rantaro’s primary nurse quietly announced.

Shuichi’s heart was pounding as she skirted past him, closing the door behind her. It was only him and Rantaro now, here in the pocket dimension of his room. He couldn’t breathe.

“Hey, Shuichi,” Rantaro greeted him, as cool and casual as ever. As if nothing was wrong. As if Shuichi wasn’t going to commit suicide. He stood up from his spot, stretching out his arms. “Haven’t seen you in a few days.”

“I didn’t want visitors,” Shuichi stated blandly.

“We heard. Kaito threw a big fit about it,” Rantaro recalled. “Everyone’s been pretty worried about you, you know. Kokichi especially.”

“Koki…” he whispered almost on reflex. “Yeah, ah… sp-speaking of Kokichi. Can you do something for me? Please?”

Rantaro stared at him curiously, and Shuichi dropped his gaze to the ground. He didn’t want to give anything away. If Rantaro realized one of his more obvious tells, he’d talk him out of it. Shuichi didn’t want to be talked down. He needed to do this.

“Sure thing,” Rantaro decided after a moment of thought. “What do you need?”

This is it. His final chance to live. Because as soon as Shuichi handed him the phone, he would leave this room. He would leave the safety of numbers. He was going to die.

Swallowing thickly, Shuichi pulled out his phone. The time flashed at him as his finger brushed against the cold screen. 5:55.

“Can you give this to Kokichi?” he requested, offering the phone to Rantaro. “It’s really important.”

“This?” Rantaro asked in visible surprise. “Maki said this was important to you.”

“It is,” Shuichi affirmed. “That’s why I want to give it to Kokichi. It… it’s… um… s-sorry, it’s a little personal. I’m just– I’m scared of giving it to him myself.”

That wasn’t entirely a lie, but the reason why Shuichi couldn’t deliver this himself went deeper than that. Kokichi would know what he intended to do the minute Shuichi gave it to him. He couldn’t let that happen. He needed to do this. He needed to die.

“Hey, I understand,” Rantaro reassured him, once again jerking him out of his spiraling thoughts. He took the phone from Shuichi, handling it carefully. “You two seem close, and I never saw you as the type to initiate a confrontation. I’ll take this to him right away.”

A wave of relief nearly swept him off his feet. “Th-Thank you so much, Rantaro. Um, and make sure to tell him that– that he can read my notes, and to not worry about invading my privacy. I don’t mind if he reads them.”

“Really?” Rantaro sounds surprised. “I’d think there’s some pretty personal stuff on here.”

“It’s okay,” Shuichi reassured him. He wouldn’t be around long enough to worry about the consequences of what was to come. “I mean, whatever he thinks, can’t really be worse than a– a time loop, right?”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Rantaro decided with a shrug. “But hey, before you go, do you mind telling me why you banned visitors?”

Shuichi felt his heart drop.

Rantaro continued. “If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine too. I just figured I’d ask while I have the chance.”

What do I do? Shuichi knew he might ask, but if he answered honestly, Rantaro might realize something was wrong. Rantaro might realize what he was going to do after this conversation.

Lie. Lie like Koki. Just tell a lie.

“Just– thinking,” Shuichi sputtered out. “Um… taking… time to m-myself. After everything.”

“...time to yourself,” the boy echoed skeptically.

“Mhm.”

He was pretty sure Rantaro didn’t believe him at all, but it was impossible to tell with him. Rantaro could smile or frown and still display the exact same emotion.

“Well… once you’re done with that, why don’t you join us for breakfast?” Rantaro offered with a small, casual smile. “Everyone misses you, and I’d like to get to know you better. I hear you’re pretty impressive.”

“Not impressive enough to save you,” Shuichi’s mouth blurted out before he could think twice about it.

“Eh… sorry, what?”

“I– I mean, um…” Shuichi quickly turned away from him, trying to hide the tears burning his eyes. “I just mean… I’m sorry for not getting there in time. If I had just been a little faster… I could have…”

“Oh.” Rantaro sounded a little uncomfortable– at least, to him. He was pretty sure anyway. “No, don't worry about it, Shuichi. Whether you could have prevented our deaths or not, there’s no use dwelling on what you can’t change. You couldn’t have stopped Tsumugi any more than I could have stopped Kaede.”

Shuichi could have. Shuichi did stop her, if only once. His hands felt warm with blood, though when he looked down at them, they were clean. Shaking.

“Right…” Shuichi murmured. “...sorry for bringing it up, Rantaro. I know talking about… dying… isn’t easy.”

“It’s alright. It was pretty trippy, anyway,” Rantaro commented a bit more lightly now. “One moment, I was there, and the next I’m waking up here.”

“Dying is kind of nice when you don’t come back from it,” Shuichi mused quietly. And I won’t be. I hope dying in real life is as nice as it is in the simulation.

“...if this is insensitive, you don’t have to answer, but I thought you were one of the ‘survivors’?” Rantaro inquired.

“O-Oh, um…” He just kept messing up, didn’t he? He needed to get out of here before he outed himself. Rantaro was just… really easy to talk to.

Yeah. That’s all there was to it. He wasn’t stalling.

“No, I–” Shuichi hesitated for a moment. “I did die. In the time loop. Sorry, I should really… go. Remember to, um, give Koki that.”

Rantaro blinked at him. “Koki…?”

“Ah! K-Kokichi!” he hurriedly corrected himself, feeling the heat rush to his face. “Give it to Kokichi.”

“Alright, alright. I will,” Rantaro assured him. “See you around, Shuichi. Hope you come back soon.”

“Yeah,” Shuichi murmured. “Goodbye, Rantaro.”

Rantaro Amami was the last person he’d ever speak to. It was an unfair burden to put on him, Shuichi knew that. Once he learned what had happened, he would feel terrible. Guilty.

But if there was one thing Shuichi had learned in the time loop, it was that he was fantastic at running away from his problems.

–

Somebody was talking.

It wasn't the more adult, serious tone of one of the doctors or nurses. It wasn’t any of the girls. A boy, one of his classmates, was in the room with him. Talking.

What about…? He wasn’t sure. His thoughts felt so muddled. He knew that he was alive; he knew that he was awake. That was about as far as that went.

And yet he didn’t want to fall asleep. If he did, he feared he might awake to those bells. The ones that signaled the start of a new loop. He didn’t want that to happen again. He was tired of the time loop– tired of lying here all day, knowing that there was no way for him to save Kokichi.

…didn’t I end that?

Maybe he was wrong– maybe the time loop was actually over. He was in the hospital after all, so he couldn’t be in the simulation that harbored the time loop.

But then that was a little strange. He was alive, when he should most certainly be dead. Why could that be? Did he never die? Or was it that he simply never truly left the time loop?

That boy was still talking. He sounded very familiar. Comforting, in a sense? He tried to focus on that voice.

“...noooo but also oh yeahhh whoopee. Joy. Right, Shuichi? Shu? Shui?” That boy sighed. “Man, you make a cool nickname for me or whatever but I can’t think of anything. What would I have said? Maybe… Shu? Shuchuu train? How’s that?”

Oh, yeah. He knew exactly who that was.

“I’ve had nicknames given to me before,” Kokichi continued talking. “Liiike… I used to be called the feral boy for two years because this girl didn’t know my actual name. You set a few things on fire and suddenly you’re feral and a threat to society… but that didn’t actually happen. I’m a law-abiding citizen with no interest in arson. But maybe that’s a lie, too? Maybe I am an arsonist! You’ve got me all figured out, Shushu. Japan’s Most Wanted Serial Arsonist: Kokichi Ouma. Gah, no… Shushu sounds like the name of a dog… how about I start fusing our names? How does Shukichi sound? Saiouma? Wait, that’d probably go to our child, nevermind…”

Shuichi had no idea what he was talking about, but he wasn’t sure if he needed to. Simply listening to Kokichi’s voice was soothing in itself.

“I’ll ask you when you wake up,” Kokichi decided idly. “...because you’re gonna wake up. I’m too mad at you for you to never wake up again, but I also feel so grossly soft about you and it’s making me want to rip my hair out. You, Shuichi, have melted my stone-cold heart. How dare you. I should have you bludgeoned for this! But you’ve… punished yourself enough, I guess.”

…oh.

Oh.

No wonder his arms hurt. No wonder his head felt fuzzy. No wonder he could feel pressure on his neck.

Shuichi remembered now. He had tried to kill himself.

It was all flooding back to him– the pounding in his heart as he held the knife to his neck. He remembered thinking on a continuous loop, you’ve done it before, it’s a quick death. He remembered the guilt that came from taking advantage of virtually everyone; using his primary nurse’s schedule against them, his and Rantaro’s lack of closeness, but he also remembered a numb sense of tranquility, knowing soon, it’d be over. He’d never have to feel that way again. Sure, he’d be giving up his friends, the joy of experiences, his love… but giving up is what he had always done, wasn’t it? He tried so hard in the killing game. He did his very best for the sake of Kaito, for Kaede, for all of his friends.

But the time loop took that belief and blew it up in his face. What point was there to trying if everything always reset? Why should he bother if he was never going to make progress? Giving up was the only thing he had control over in the time loop. That was the only choice he had that stayed permanent.

Maybe he had gotten so used to being able to escape the consequences of his actions that he never grew out of that habit when he left. Maybe that was why he thought he deserved to die. And in truth? He did. He was alive despite his attempt at retribution.

He didn’t deserve to be alive. He didn’t–

The feeling of someone’s hand on his head jerked him out of his spiraling thoughts. With a grand amount of effort, he just barely cracked open an eye. The blurry image of Kokichi greeted him, his arm extended over Shuichi’s head. He was… petting his hair. Just like before.

Just like before…

“Good morning,” Kokichi greeted him, his voice significantly more gentle than his previous non-stop, passionate rambling. “You should’ve told me you were awake, Shuichi. You were sleeping for soooo long and I missed you.”

“...Ko…ki?” Shuichi could only whisper. That was as much as his throat would let him project his voice.

“That’s me,” Kokichi confirmed, his smile widening a little. He, regretfully, took his hand back to himself, his expression sobering somewhat. “You remember what happened. Don’t you?”

Shuichi tried his best to take a deep, stable breath in. It worked to an extent before his throat ached.

“S–...sort of.” 

Kokichi settled back in his chair, now wearing a serious look on his face.

His quietness prompted a small, meek, “I’m sorry…” out of him.

“You’d better be,” Kokichi muttered. “...everyone’s worried about you. No one’s mad. And,” he continued before Shuichi could even think of saying something, “I’m not mad at you either. I never was.”

Shuichi blinked at him. “...y-you aren’t? But… you…”

“I don’t remember punching you, like, ever. That’s Kaito’s thing,” Kokichi told him. “And I’m not saying it didn’t happen. It probably did, I just didn’t know about it. But I did tell you to go away. Everyone needs their space sometimes– that doesn’t mean I’m mad at you. I don’t know what made you think that.”

Kokichi was… never mad at me.

It felt like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. He savored that simple fact for a few minutes, bathing in the comfort it brought him. Maki was angry at him, but they made up. Kokichi had never been angry with him; that was an anxious delusion he had come up with in his own instability.

“Shuichi.” Kokichi’s tone held no emotion as he spoke. “We need to talk.”

Shuichi had seen that one coming from miles away. Still didn’t make him any less anxious though.

In his lack of a response, Kokichi reached into his pocket and, after a moment, presented something.

His breath caught in his throat.

His phone.

“...you read them,” Shuichi said. It was not a question, because he knew. It was a fact.

Kokichi nodded solemnly.

“I want to love you too, you know,” Kokichi told him, not quite meeting his gaze. “But I can’t do that if this is what happens, Shuichi.”

What? “Th-This…?”

“I’m not going to love someone I’m scared of losing,” Kokichi clarified bluntly. “I want to know why you tried to kill yourself. What was the final straw, Shuichi? What did Makoto tell you in that phone call?”

The silence felt suffocating. Perhaps that was because Shuichi felt as if he couldn’t breathe.

He didn’t know how long he had been asleep for so he couldn’t say for sure how many days had passed, but a few hours before he… attempted, Makoto had called him. He had called with news.

News about… Team Danganronpa.

(“They’re a despair group specializing in killing games. The one I was in– the one Junko Enoshima orchestrated– is the most popular of them all.”

“Okay, I figured that. But what’s new?”

“...they’re looking for you. All of you.”

“...wh– what…?”

“They left the clinic as a precautionary measure to make sure we didn’t find out what they were up to. But once they saw the broadcast and realized it was never finished, they started trying to find you. We… attempted to subdue a scout, but they committed suicide before we could get any proper information.”

“What about Kyoko’s theory? About the in-fighting?”

“That was sort of right. One of them tried to intervene with the program, so they were killed. You saw that room with blood everywhere, right? That… was a result of them ending that person’s life. Listen, all you need to know is that you are safe, but we can’t let you leave anytime soon. Should Team Danganronpa find you… I don’t even want to imagine.”)

But Shuichi could imagine. It was all he thought about– that there was a vengeful despair group out there that wanted him dead for ruining their plan. They were going to tear him apart when they found him. He put his friends in danger by trying to save them. He deserved to die for that. He didn’t deserve this life that had patiently been given back to him by the time loop, over and over.

“Shuichi.” Kokichi’s firm voice pulled him back to reality, and he realized he had been tearing up. “Tell me what Makoto said.”

“...I can’t,” he whimpered. Because he was unable to move his arms, he simply squeezed his eyes shut. “You’ll hate me… a-and I can’t even… think a-about that right now.”

“What? The possibility that I’ll even remotely dislike you?” Kokichi challenged. “You avoid me for days, isolate yourself instead of talking to me, then make Rantaro into your messenger boy to give me your suicide love confession and let me find you bleeding out on the floor somewhere I thought was supposed to be safe for us. Whatever you say to me could not possibly be worse than that.”

Shuichi blew out a slow breath through his mouth, risking opening his eyes again. Kokichi was staring at him, his eyebrows furrowed and a taut frown tugging at the corners of his lips.

“...Team Danganronpa,” Shuichi choked out. He took a moment to recover, trying to even out his breathing, before continuing. “They’re out there. They… want us back. And they’re– th-they’re mad.”

Much to his relief, he didn’t have to say anything more. Kokichi interlocked his fingers together, pressing his hands against his mouth with his eyes closed. Shuichi couldn’t tell if he looked mad or angry or just simply disappointed. Maybe it was a mix of all three.

Eventually, Kokichi let out a sigh.

“Okay,” he said, unclasping his hands and sitting upright. “We’re gonna put that aside for now, okay? We’ll deal with that later when we’re both thinking rationally. Right now, I want to make sure you don’t try again the minute I turn my back. Do you– do you know how scary that was, Shuichi? Finding you like that?”

Immediate guilt slammed into him like a freight train.

“I-I’m sorry,” he stammered out weakly. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t think you’d… come so fast.”

“You were depending on me,” Kokichi snapped. “You left the door unlocked. You knew I’d come running as soon as I read your letter to me. You never really wanted to die, did you?”

For that, Shuichi couldn’t reply. His body wouldn’t let him even shake his head.

“If this goes on,” Kokichi continued quietly, “you’re just gonna hurt yourself again. And you’ll hurt everyone else, too. They spent hours trying to figure out how to accomodate to you, before they realized that they don’t know how because we don’t know… what you’re like. The most we got was that note you left behind, but how useful is that if we don’t know how you feel? Everyone wants to help you, Shuichi, but we can’t if you won’t let us. Isolating yourself, banning visitors… none of it is doing anyone any favors. Please, tell me you understand that.”

Shuichi clenched his fist under his blanket. His arms felt weak and every movement ached, but he still tried. “I did… bad things. I can’t even face K-Kaede or– or anyone. They’re all coming back from the dead, a-and you’re all trying to… adjust to surviving and I just– I don’t… know. I don’t know what to do. E-Everything I do, it– it m-makes it worse, I–”

“Because you’re isolating yourself,” Kokichi interrupted him. “No one is expecting you to be fine after a killing game or a time loop or whatever. It only feels worse because you think you still have to do everything on your own, but that’s not the case anymore. That’s a lie you’ve convinced yourself of. And Shuichi, I did bad things. Do you think I’m a terrible person?”

Shuichi shook his head.

“Trick question, the answer is subjective. But the point is that I get it. I know what it’s like to feel like you have to do everything on your own. I separated myself from everyone in the same way you did because I had to carry out my plan by myself, just. Like. You.” Kokichi paused for a moment to catch his breath. “If this continues, Shuichi, you’re going to try to kill yourself again, and I might not be fast enough to stop you. No matter how hard I try, I can’t lie to myself, so even if you can’t tell anyone else… not Kaito, or Maki or Kaede or Keebo or Himiko… you can tell me. Because I want to help you. I don’t… want you to be alone anymore.”

The room went silent as Kokichi stopped talking. The only sounds that remained was the quiet, non-stop beeping of the heart monitor and Shuichi’s own, shaking breaths.

He couldn’t hold himself together. Everything he had done, everything he had yet to do, it put an impossible strain on his very soul. It wasn’t something he could hold himself up under anymore– he didn’t want to feel this way. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to hurt his friends, or Kokichi, who despite everything, was offering him a hand. Kokichi, who had acted solely on his own for so long, had turned to him when he needed him most. Kokichi had saved him from himself.

Kokichi, he realized, made him feel safe.

It only took one sob. Just one that he wasn’t able to stop or muffle. The floodgates opened, and Shuichi suddenly found that he couldn’t stop crying.

It hurt, it really did, but it also felt relieving. Like his tears alleviated some of the pressure he had unknowingly been carrying all this time. When was the last time he cried like this? When was the last time he let someone see him cry?

Gentle as ever, Kokichi leaned over the bed and hugged him the best he could. It was a little awkward, because Shuichi was lying down and couldn’t exactly move, so Kokichi had to extend his arms all the way across the bed to hold him, but that was okay. Because he was in Kokichi’s arms. He was silently being offered a shoulder to cry on.

“Just let it out,” Kokichi advised him as Shuichi buried his face into his shoulder. “Cry as hard as you need to. As long as you never make me say anything so gross and… ugh… honest again, you can cry as much as you want.”

“I’m s-sorry…” he weakly sobbed. “Hgh… I-I’m… s-so sorry…”

“I know you are.”

“Thank you.” Shuichi let Kokichi take back the water bottle after a few moments, his throat feeling much better. He scrubbed his cheeks clean of tears, hardly able to meet Kokichi’s eyes. “...sorry about that.”

“Apologize as much as you want, I’ll forgive you every time,” Kokichi retorted. “Unless maybe I won’t…? Maybe one of these days, you’re gonna apologize and I won’t forgive you. But I’m a pretty forgiving guy, so give me your best shot.”

Shuichi scrunched up his nose at him, not quite sure how to take that.

Once his sobbing subsided, Kokichi had helped him sit up enough to drink some water. It definitely helped, and he felt a lot better now that he wasn’t lying down. His arms hurt, yes, but that was his own fault.

“...I’m not going to do that again,” he promised Kokichi after a long lapse of silence. “Y-You’re right. I don’t want to die. But I… felt like I deserved to. And it was just– just an easy way out, which… thinking that only made me feel worse. E-Earlier, you said that you couldn’t, ah… couldn’t love someone you were afraid of losing.”

“My moment of weakness, yes. What about it?”

Shuichi had to look away from him, trying to hide the redness in his cheeks. “W-Well… you don’t have to… worry about that. I’ll get better.”

“And how are you gonna do that?” Kokichi inquired.

“Um. Th-Therapy?”

“And what else?”

He took a moment to think. “...staying away from sharp objects?”

“Annnnd?”

“J-Join everyone for breakfast…?”

“Hmm…” Kokichi let out a long, thoughtful hum. Then he smiled. “Alright! That’s satisfactory for the Ultimate Supreme Leader!”

It happened so fast, so suddenly. Shuichi didn’t have any time to react as Kokichi leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

Kokichi… kissed him.

Kokichi KISSED HIM.

As he was sputtering uselessly, trying desperately to find something to say, Kokichi pulled away, smiling widely and almost smugly but also it was very pretty and by the way what just happened? Why would Kokichi kiss him!? What had prompted that–?

“Kaede’s going to freak, by the way,” Kokichi informed him, as if what just happened was totally normal and casual. “And Kaito owes her twenty bucks now. Hey, can we make out in front of him?”

“Wh-Why’d you…” Shuichi could hardly get the words out– it was as if Kokichi’s kiss had stolen his breath away. “Kiss…? Me?”

A blank look slammed onto Kokichi’s face. “Did you not want me to?”

“N-No! No, no, no! I’m– I’m happy!” Shuichi rushed to reassure him. He didn’t want Kokichi to think he was against it– he was just surprised. And sort of confused. And… “really happy, I didn’t think– but I– but why? I don’t get it…”

“Do you remember what you said before you left the simulation?” Kokichi inquired coolly. When he didn’t reply right away, Kokichi continued. “You said that if we were ever to reunite, you hoped that we could be more than friends.”

(“All I hope is that, when this is all over and everyone is finally safe, we can be… friends. Or maybe… maybe something… more than that.”)

Oh. He did say that.

“So the killing game and the time loop is over,” Kokichi listed on his fingers, “and we’re all safe… that’s all two conditions met. So I’m taking up your offer.”

It took Shuichi a moment to process what exactly that meant.

And when he did, he swore he felt a part of his soul levitate out of his body.

“Are you– are you sure?” Shuichi dared to ask. “Me? But you said that– you said you couldn’t love someone you were scared of losing. Wh-What if I–”

“Then you’ll have to make an effort to make sure I’m not scared,” Kokichi told him firmly. “You don’t get to pour your heart out to me on your dumb phone and give me everything I want only to try and take it away.”

“I’m sor–”

“Non, non. Tell me you’re gonna make an effort. You will get better.”

Shuichi blinked, contemplating his words, before nodding. “I will make an effort, a-and… I’ll get better.”

“Yeah! And you can join my secret evil organization as my consort and we can rule the world together!”

“...I think that’s a little out of my league.”

Kokichi huffed. “Worth a shot.”

The room went silent once again. This time though, it was comfortable.

“Does this mean… you– you love me back?” Shuich risked the question.

At that, Kokichi snorted. “The first thing I did when you woke up was confess my love to you. I just kissed you and you’re asking me that? Do I need to propose to you, too? Yes, we can be boyfriends, Shuichi. You don’t even have to fight my seven evil exes!”

Shuichi blanched. “Y-You have seven exes?”

“Seven evil exes,” Kokichi corrected him. “And no, I don’t. That was just a lie! The only ex I have is the ‘x’ they would’ve put on my painting.”

“I see…?”

Kokichi laughed, and for a few moments, it felt as if nothing in the world could possibly be wrong. It was just him and Kokichi, sitting together after one of the worst moments in his life, laughing.

Him and his partner. His boyfriend.

Everything is going to be okay, he quietly reassured himself. It’s over.

I’ll get better. I’m going to make sure I get better.

My regrets… everything that’s happened to me… I’ll move past it. So I don’t feel like I need to die anymore. So I don’t worry my friends.

I’ll move on.

…somehow.

–

This was the first time he had truly had the chance to check his phone.

Since he woke up yesterday, Kokichi hadn’t left his side for more than a few minutes. He wasn’t against that or anything, don’t get him wrong! Being alone was the last thing he wanted right now, even if he did feel terrible about inadvertently forcing Kokichi and the nurse guarding his door (for emergencies or something?) outside of the room to stay with him overnight.

That, however, meant he would be put into predicaments like this one.

Some would advise that maybe climbing into bed with a hospital patient was not, in fact, the greatest idea in the world. Kokichi would beg to differ.

He had to be careful, since Shuichi’s wounds were still sensitive. He had screwed himself up a lot more than he thought he did– his arms looked bad from what he had seen while his bandages were being changed. Some of those would most certainly scar. Either way, his wounds didn’t stop Kokichi from joining him under the covers, cuddling as close to him as he could without hurting him.

That was a few hours ago. Kokichi was asleep now, while Shuichi was not. And that wasn’t Kokichi’s fault! Shuichi had slept for a little while before this. But since he was awake now, he figured he’d take the time to look back at his notes and write something new. Despite everything, writing in his notes had helped him a tremendous amount. He liked expressing his feelings in a way that made sense to him. Writing them down gave him time to work through them.

Opening his notes app was a bit bittersweet. He cringed at the one he left Kokichi before his attempt– the one where he told him where the nickname had come from, and where he professed his love. That was probably what had sent Kokichi running, given he had arrived so fast.

At least, he thought so. He had fallen unconscious pretty soon after he collapsed.

Moving on.

Looking at all of his notes, it seemed like everything was still there and hadn’t been tampered with. Everything he wrote, all of his thoughts, were still there, not a single word having been touched. The only difference with the app was one new note, aptly titled “My Turn”.  

Shuichi always wrote his note titles in lowercase, and he certainly hadn’t written this one. He cast a glance down at Kokichi, whose eyes were closed and breathing was peacefully even. Was he the one who wrote this…?

Curiosity got the better of him, and he tapped the note.

It was a pretty long one, from the looks of it. Shuichi briefly considered closing back out of it, not wanting to peer into Kokichi’s thoughts without his permission, but then he saw the first line.

“Shuichi if u are reading this u can keep reading this idc”

Permission granted, apparently. Although hesitant, he continued.

“I feel so stupid writing this lmfao but u did it for like ever so i wanna do it too. Hiii shuichi my love my life (unless u were just joking before if that's the case then that's fully platonic) i'm glad ur awake. We have a lot to talk about, but not TALK about iykwim. If i'm gonna find out youve been struggling through this thing, then i should return the favor. Because once again, I accidentally took advantage of your poor mental state to find out what was wrong with you and that's 2 times too many. Your never seem to tell us anything when youre like. Mentally stable. And it's always in letter form did your notice that? You like writing lol. Soooo i thought i’d do the same to return the favor ;P ik ik i'm so nice and generous and stuff

Idk how to start this, so i’ll talk about what's new first. That’s you, shu. I've read everything in your notes by now and i can understand why you’d do something like that. I mean i don't know what tipped you over the edge but everything else adds up. Dealing with that can't be easy, especially if no one remembers and especially if k*ito keeps saying dumb shit all the time. My degree in psychology and 42 years on the field tells me that this is baaad bad. You can't just get over something like that. Itll take time to recover, but that time isn't time you should spend alone. Me and kaito almost got into a physical fight over you. We WANT to help you but you have to let us :/

I was really scared when i found you. You looked really bad. Like REALLY bad,, there was so much blood it looked like u were executed. I think i know what happened. U tried to slit your throat with the knife, but u couldn't do it right, so u got frustrated and cut open ur arms. is that what happened? You couldn't kill yourself as fast as you did last time, so you tried another route? Do you know how badly just a small cut hurts?? The doctors said you nearly stabbed yourself in some places and i don't know how to feel about that. I guess it's just hard to think about how badly you wanted to kill yourself because even for my plan i never wanted to die and i know you felt the same way but this is,, it's just so much worse than what i was gonna do. Being crushed to death would have reeaaaaally rlly sucked for like 5 seconds but then it wouldve been over. Bleeding out lasts for so much longer than that, and you just… kept cutting yourself. The thought that youre able to do that to yourself is rlly scary, because once you wake up, how am i supposed to know you won't do it again?  How am i supposed to leave you alone if that's what youll do?

So that's whatever but then this freaks me out even MORE cuz i don't want to end up like you. Every day i force myself go to breakfast and it fucking suuucks i hate it. Everyone who survived the killing game,, or at least after gontas trial treat me like i'm satans secret love child or something. Theyre scared i'm gonna suddenly turn evil again i think. And i mean i can't rlly be too mad about it cuz this is literally what i wanted but it still kind of sucks yknow? And everyone who wasn't alive for the crap i pulled still doesn't like me anyway either because i'm an asshole or because everyone elses behavior is putting them off. Or it's miu and she just hates everything about me lmfao she won't even listen to me about invention ideas?? Like i mean i guess i got her killed but i didn't expect her to hate my guts so much considering she was gonna do the SAME THING TO ME but it's whatever i'm not bothered abt. Or maybe i am?? Maybe i'm lying to a phone. Hurry up and wake up i feel dumb and i want attention

The point tho is that this is rlly hard for me. You slam dunked me into this situation and now i can't leave. I don't WANT to leave. I don't want to isolate myself like you did because i don't want to kill myself. But at the same time adjusting has been hard because some people hate me and want me dead. Some people are scared of me. It's pretty much only rantaro whos chill with me. And gonta i guess but as selfish as it is being around him is really hard because all i can think of is how i laughed in the face of his death. That kind of thing really makes you feel like a bitch yknow. I'll get over it eventually i know gonta feels really bad about it so i'm gonna. Talk to him soon i think. Idk it depends on how i feel lol my therapist says i should but what do they know right

//Ok so this part i'm writing on day two of you being comatose or whatever youre doing. I MISS YOU WAKE UP FASTER!!!! The doctor said youd make a full recovery so recover faster before kaito tries to kick me out again :[ ur the only one of my followers he listens to 

I've been watching some of the shows u watched on that media archive thingy. I've been trying to resist prank calling future foundation officials and i havent yet so you should be proud of me cuz that's taking a lot of restraint. According to everyone i'm “acting out” or whatever because i yelled at kaito this morning. He said something dumb i'm not “””acting out””” i'm making sure he doesn't say stupid shit!! In case youre wondering btw he said i shouldnt be the one to see you when you wake up because thatll like trigger you or something. His reasoning was that it was because you saw me die so many times and that's why you were acting so weird towards me before this but like fuck him??? He cant keep me from seeing you?? He's like a disapproving and way too overprotective mom omg he drives me nuts. Idk how you put up with him >.> Id go insane

I do what you back though. I need to talk to you. I've been thinking about what i'm gonna say and i think i have to emotionally prepare myself to tell you how i actually feel. I've been trying to think about it and i don't know how to talk to you about this?? Like you literally confessed your love to me and then tried to kill yourself. What am i supposed to do about that :/ i've tried asking my therapist and they said if i really want to be the one to approach you about it i should be gentle and understanding but i'm not?? I'm not gentle or understanding. You need to know how badly your attempt screwed us all up so you don't do it again. I just want this to be done

Well anyway i was going around yesterday after your visitors opened again (youre not allowed to close them anymore btw you got a looot of people in trouble for negligence LMFAOOO) and it was so stupid i almost considered just giving up but. Sigh. <- yes i wrote sigh because i'm sighing irl as i write this. I decided to do something nice for you and i went around to everyone and told them to write their thoughts and i compiled all of those into this note so u can see them. Youd better be thankful kaito almost punched me because he thought i was doing something evil and i'm pretty sure maki almost killed me lol my wrist still hurts. Miu threw an orange at my head :( i'm so mistreated here

I couldn't get Maki, Angie or Kiyo to do it which was annoying. But whatever you can talk to them yourself. Anyway heres that.

rantaro- Hey, Shuichi. It’s Rantaro. I was with Kokichi when he found you. That was a pretty scary experience, but I’m glad you’re alive now. Kokichi filled me in on why you came to me last, and I just want you to know I’m not bothered. It’s sad I couldn’t stop you, but we saved you, and that’s all I care about. Once you come back, we should hang out a bit. There’s no reason to distrust each other anymore so I’m working on getting to know everyone, and that includes you. There isn’t much to do in a hospital after a while, but I’m sure we can find something. You’re the one with connections to the higher-ups, so pull some strings for us, yeah? Alright, that’s it. Get better soon, Shuichi.

gonta- (I, Kokichi, had to type this since Gonta was rlly worried about breaking your phone or something lol) Shuichi this is Gonta talking. Gonta heard Shuichi tried to… kill himself? That worries Gonta a whole lot. Gonta don’t want friends to hurt like that! Kokichi won’t tell Gonta details, but this apparently make Shuichi feel better when he wakes up. So Gonta come up with plan! Gonta gonna check in on you every day when he can, ok? Gonta spend lots of time with Shuichi and do all of Shuichi’s favorite things with him so he isn't sad. Gonta also hide all knives from Shuichi forever. Whatever keeps Shuichi safe. Gonta’s done. :)

kirumi- To Shuichi Saihara. It’s quite unfortunate what happened, and I want you to know that we are all doing our best to prepare for your awakening. We all want you to feel as comfortable as possible, myself included. If you need anything, let me know, and I will happily do what you need me to. Best regards, Kirumi Tojo.

keebo- I will keep this brief for you, Shuichi. I was not there when you, Maki, Kaito and Kokichi confronted each other, but I saw the aftermath. I was the one to read out the letter you left us in the simulation. Being by yourself is… isolating, and only fills you with loneliness. Loneliness can cause you to do rash things, since people are not meant to be alone for so long. I can tell that everything has taken a toll on you and I was very worried when you banned visitors. I tried every day to see you, but each time, I was denied. Your behavior was concerning, and I see now that my worries were justified. I cannot possibly fathom why you would take such a course of action, but when you return, I am going to do my best to help you in any way I can. You are my friend Shuichi, please never forget that.

kaede- Shuichi I’m so worried about you!! :( I don't want to type too much because I want to be with you face to face when we talk again, but I promise whatever is hurting you we’re going to get past it together :D !!! All of us are here for you Shuichi and once you come back I’m going to make sure you never do anything so dumb again! We got this second chance to be together, I can finally show you all of the music I wanted to. Please don’t take that chance away :( I’ll see you soon Shuichi. ♡♬

himiko- i'm not really good at things like this. i never thought i’d have to do something like this y’know? everything you’ve been doing since that night has been freaking me out, and i want to be thankful for what you did, but thinking about what you described in your letter makes it hard. that’d be like thanking you for suffering so much. i wouldn’t want to be thanked for that. i’ve cast a lot of protection spells around your room, but if you really want to die that badly, those won’t be enough to stop you. maki and kaito are really worried, so you should talk to them. also kokichi i guess. kaede says he's in love with you. if love is what stops you from killing yourself then you guys should smooch. that’s just what i think though.

tenko- SHUICHI TENKO’S NOT GOOD AT HELPING PEOPLE WITH STUFF LIKE THIS THIS IS A REALLY SENSITIVE TOPIC AND YOU SHOULD TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL. THAT BEING SAID EVEN IF YOU ARE A M*N I DON’T WANT YOU TO KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU’RE ACTUALLY KIND OF TOLERABLE AND YOU HELPED ME TRY TO SAVE HIMIKO FROM THE STUDENT COUNCIL. THANK YOU I GUESS. ANYWAY THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE BUT TENKO’S ACTUALLY DECENT AT DOING HAIR AND YOUR HAIRCUT LOOKS TERRIBLE IT’S TOO LONG AND TOO SHORT IN SOME PLACES SO I WANT TO HELP YOU EVEN IT OUT FOR THAT GROSS BOY LOOK I KNOW YOU WANT. COME SEE ME WHENEVER YOU’RE READY YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUSH. YOU’RE STILL A DEGENERATE MALE BUT YOU’RE ALSO THE DEGENERATE THAT ENDED THE KILLING GAME SO THANKS FOR SAVING HIMIKO AND THE REST OF US I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. GET BETTER SOON MALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ryoma- Hey. Don’t throw your life away. Things get hard and it’s rough, but you’ve got a whole lot out there to live for. Just like I’m finding reasons to live, you should find reasons not to die. Making a list may help you. Note down what makes you happy. Remember, it’s not a crime to be sad. I encourage letting yourself feel that way. But you can’t be sad all the time, or else everything becomes miserable. We’ve both still got a ways to go, so let’s make that journey together. Hope you have a safe and fast recovery, Shuichi.

miu- don't kill yourself again dipshit

kaito- Hey bro it’s Kaito! I’m hoping this gets across to you and Kokichi doesn’t tamper with anything. Anyway, you scared the shit out of a lot of us. Your enemies really got to you, huh? I should have busted down your door the minute you banned visitors, but my doctor said I shouldn’t. My body’s still weak… apparently I was exposed to a TON of radiation during the Tragedy and it gave me a bit of radiation pneumonitis. So my lungs are a bit messed up right now, but that's okay!! Once they clear me me, you and Maki Roll are gonna start our nightly training again. Even if we can't see the stars, just hanging out together is pretty great. We’ll make sure nothing like this happens again, alright? We’re gonna get you help until you can stand against your enemies on your own two feet. By the way, Maki says hi. She doesn't want to write one of these since she doesn’t trust Kokichi, and she prefers to talk to people face to face. Apparently you two were fighting while I was asleep? I don’t know what that's about, but you need to tell her your true and honest thoughts. Almost losing you has been tearing her up inside and she’s been really worried for you, bro. We’ll see you when you wake up! Also please tell me if Kaede is right or not. I don't have 20 bucks to give her if she is, and you can do way better than Kokichi. Please anyone but Kokichi.

^^ that was the last one even if it is RUDE >:/. But yeah, that’s what almost everyone had to say. Of course there's a lot more but by now we’re all rlly uncertain and waiting for you to wake up for real. You’ve been sort of in and out but I don't think you’ll even remember those times because they have you HIGH high on drugs. I've been talking to you as much as i can so that if you can hear me you know i'm there, waiting for you so maybe that’ll give you motivation to wake up. I'm hoping you’ll be up by tomorrow or something because if i have to wait any longer for you i'm going to start clawing at the walls. Rantaro can only put up with me for so long shuichi”

That was where the note ended. Shuichi stared at it for a few moments longer, tears in his eyes.

Everyone… 

He looked down at Kokichi, who was still asleep. He hadn’t stirred an inch.

That’s how he feels. He was waiting for me all this time.

Shuichi turned off his screen, setting his phone to the side and nuzzling closer to Kokichi. He was so very warm, but not to an uncomfortable degree. It felt nice to cuddle against someone, even if he couldn’t do it fully without agitation his wounds.

Never again, he silently promised himself. I never want to hurt anyone like that again. I’m going to live.

As he began to fall asleep once more, the encouraging words of his classmates still fresh in his mind, he wondered how Tsumugi was doing. He wondered when she’d be okay enough to see again.

He wondered, if things were any different, what she would have said to him.

–

“Remember the plan,” Kokichi whispered to him as they began to approach the cafeteria. He could hear the hubbub of his friend’s voices, which was doing little to help his anxiety. “We’re gonna blow their socks off.”

Shuichi squeezed his boyfriend’s (boyfriend’s! His boyfriend!) hand, letting out a small breath. Kokichi had been his only visitor during the three days when he had been recovering, simply to allow Shuichi to fully settle down again. A ton of people storming his room would be pretty alarming, and the therapist he had finally started opening up to had advised him to take it slow.

This was not taking it slow. This was going five miles in a ten and then suddenly falling off a cliff.

“Okay,” he murmured after a moment. “I'm ready.”

“Just a fair warning, there will be screaming,” Kokichi told him in a perfectly cheerful tone. “Okay, come on! I wanna see the look on Kaito’s face.”

Shuichi nodded determinedly. “I’m ready. Let’s… let’s do this.”

Kokichi shot him a bright look, though there was that familiar twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

Stepping into the cafeteria again felt strange. Last time he had entered like this, it was when he was reuniting with his newly awakened classmates for the first time. That was pretty much what had made him ban visitors– after all, if he couldn’t even face his surviving friends, how was he supposed to face his previously dead ones?

It was different now, though. Kokichi was beside him, holding his hand. He was ready this time.

“HEY!” Kokichi roared over the layers of conversation, effectively startling a few people. All eyes turned towards them, and Shuichi saw multiple of his friend’s expressions light up when they saw him. “Check this out!”

He and Kokichi turned towards each other at the same time, Kokichi cupping his cheeks in his hands. Shuichi touched his wrist and closed his eyes as their lips met.

It was easy to tell Kokichi was trying not to giggle, and Shuichi felt the same. The urge became even more difficult to suppress as they broke away from each other, smiling like idiots, and looked at their friends. Kaito’s mouth was agape in shock. Maki’s eyes were wide. Kaede was covering her mouth with one hand, stunned. Miu looked torn between making a suggestive joke or murder.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” Kaito bellowed, nearly flipping over his chair with how aggressively he leaped out of it. “HEY! You can’t kiss my sidekicks!”

“What?” Maki demanded.

“No, but I can kiss my boyfriendddd,” Kokichi sang triumphantly.

“BOYFRIEND!?”

“When did this happen?” Rantaro asked, sounding widely amused.

“We talked when I woke up,” Shuichi admitted nervously. “We talked about… what happened, and how I’m going to get better.”

“I’ve contractually obligated him to go to therapy so long as he’s my boyfriend,” Kokichi announced gleefully.

“That contract was written in crayon, Kokichi,” Shuichi pointed out tiredly. “I signed it in crayon.”

“You signed a contract to be his boyfriend?” Maki questioned dryly.

“In crayon?” Himiko added.

“Sounds fitting enough!” Angie offered, clapping her hands together. “Shuichi and Kokichi… yup, yup! I can definitely see it! Atua beams upon your relationship!”

“Damn it…” Kaito cursed under his breath. “Him? Really? Grhhh… Kaede, I’ll pay you soon enough. I just gotta figure out the state of the economy.”

Wait, that wasn’t a joke? Shuichi thought in bewilderment at the same time Kaede seemed to recover from her shocked stupor.

“It’s okay!” Kaede chirped, getting out of her chair to approach the two of them. “You can get me a soda or something. Shuichi, hi! Are you… okay now?”

Shuichi was painfully aware of how silent the cafeteria fell upon the question. Everyone was waiting for an answer, one that they had no doubt been mulling over since Kokichi and Rantaro delivered the news.

Kokichi had told him that everyone was worried. That they had been trying to figure out how to help him. Everyone here, all of his friends, had been waiting for him to come back so patiently. When he banned visitors, everyone had spoken of him during breakfast, wondering if he was okay and what they could do. When he was unconscious after his… his suicide attempt, there had been an air of uncertainty and worry pressing down on everybody.

They cared about him. They wanted him to feel better as much as he wanted himself to get better.

And just like they had said in their letters to him– just like Kokichi had said– they’d be there to support him every step of the way.

“I will be,” was what he told Kaede. “Yeah. I think… I’ll be okay.”

Kaede let out a massive sigh of relief, a teary laugh escaping her as she pulled him into a gentle embrace. Shuichi released Kokichi’s hand to hug her back, his heart aching as he did so.

“I’m glad,” Kaede whispered, smiling as she spoke. “Come on, Shuichi. Let’s have breakfast, okay? Just like before.”

Just like before. Before the tragedy of the killing game truly struck. Before everything became as terrible as it had been.

But it was over. The killing game, the time loop– Shuichi ended it with his own two hands. He ended it so everyone could live again.

That included himself. He wanted to live, too. And now he could.

“Okay,” Shuichi agreed. “Just like before.”