Work Text:
"Dear Brooke,
You asked me once to let you all the way in. The truth is I don't know how to do that. All my life I've kept my feelings locked tight inside of me to protect my mom. She was my universe and I tried so hard not to do anything to make her sad because I hate it when she cries. Keith was the only one I ever let in. So I close myself off and hide away to deal with my emotions. I have several things I need to say to you and please, for once, hear me when I say them. I am now and will always be in love with you Brooke Penelope Davis. You were someone I never expected and I will always be grateful that I got to know you. I can't believe I've only known you for such a short time because I can't picture my life without you. I hope that we can at least go back to being friends at some point.
Now, this might be the hard part, but please keep going. Peyton is one of my best friends. She and I are similar in a lot of ways and share similar tastes in things like music. When I found her in the library that day, the first thing she said to me was that she lost you. When I told her you were safe outside, she visibly relaxed. She was still in pain and terrified, but she was a little less terrified because you were safe. After a while, I could tell she was getting worse and I needed her to stay awake. I asked her to tell me about a good day and she told me about a snow day with you. I think she could feel herself slipping away though because she told me she loved me and kissed me goodbye. That's what the kiss meant to me Brooke. Goodbye. When I was able to talk to her about it, I told her that I loved her too, as a friend, and that I was so in love with you. That's the truth. That's what she and Haley and even you have never been able to understand. I do love Peyton, but it is the same kind of love I feel for Haley. When she kissed me in that library, it felt the same as kissing Hales. I am not in love with Peyton Sawyer. I don't think I ever really was. I had a crush on her for years, but when I really, truly got to know her, I realized that the girl I fantasized about was just that – a fantasy. She wasn't who I'd built her up in my head to be. Last year, the night after you confronted her when you saw us together, she came to see me. She had told me before the accident that she wouldn't risk your friendship on a fling-that she wanted to be with me. Then you "broke up" with her and she dropped me like a hot potato. She broke my heart. Then some other stuff happened and my solution was to go out and get drunk so I wouldn't have to deal with the pain – even if it was just for a night. Everyone knows what happened next. The Nikki I met that night though wasn't the same as the one who came after Jake. She was different to anyone I'd met and she gave me some perspective. When you found out, I took a long, hard look at who I was becoming and what I was doing. I didn't like that person. A lot of why I moved was because of how I acted, but a lot of it had to do with Dan too. He can get inside my head like no one else and all he does is hurt me every time. I mean who claims to love their kid one minute then turns around the next and says to their face that they should have been aborted? Or tries to strangle them to death for an imagined slight?
I'm getting off topic now. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna wrap this up. I know I lost your trust because of what happened the first time, but I didn't love you then. When I look back and think "that's the moment everything changed,” it's the morning we had breakfast after the formal. The second time around, we became friends first and I fell in love with you. You make me laugh Brooke. You take me out of my comfort zone and make me do crazy things. You bring this enormous light into my life. You are always saving me. I would not have gotten through the funeral or any of the days after without you. Those nights we spent at the cabin just being together and talking were the best nights of my life. When you fell asleep in my arms in front of the fire, I realized I wanted to spend every night for the rest of my life like that and wake up to your beautiful face every morning. The trip with my mom needed to be just about the two of us. We needed to just be together and find a way to heal together. I missed you every day, but I needed my mom. I needed her to hold me because my entire life was falling apart around me. Every dream I'd ever had was dying and I couldn't handle it. I felt like I was losing myself all over again and the only thing holding me together was the thought of you. You were the only thing going right in my life. I was never happier than when I was your boyfriend. I love you Brooke Davis. I always will, but I can't fight anymore.
My whole life I've wanted Keith to be my dad. Whitey told me that he always was, in every way that mattered. I will never get over the loss of him. Every day has been a struggle and the only thing that keeps me getting out of bed is my mom. If he was still here I'd have been calling him the moment you walked out to ask for advice on how to get you back, but he's not.
I’m sorry I don’t have the strength to fight for you, for us, anymore. I'm going to let you go because that's what you need from me. You are phenomenal Brooke and you are going to change the world someday. So go be fabulous. Get your clothes out there because you have an amazing talent. Someone very wise once told me that she believed if two people were meant to be together, they'd find their way to each other in the end.
Love always,
Lucas”
Brooke put the letter on the nightstand and used several tissues to dry her eyes. She picked up the small, red gift-wrapped box and card on the bed next to her. The goofy birthday card made her laugh. Inside the box was a beautiful silver locket. On the front were two swans facing each other to form a heart. Inside was a picture of her and Lucas snuggled together on the chair in Rachel's cabin. It was a beautiful picture. She turned the locket over and found an engraving.
"To my Pretty Girl.
Happy 18ᵗʰ Birthday.
I love you. Broody."
—-------
"What up, homewrecker?" Skills called out to Peyton.
"Homewrecker?" She asked, confused.
"Brooke broke up with me yesterday," Lucas explained. "I would have told you, but I had something to do."
"I can try to help you get her back if you want."
"That's okay. I've said everything I needed to. The ball's in her court now.”