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Chapter Text

A month after they got their acceptance letters, Patroclus woke up and noticed he was alone. He turned to the clock and sighed. 3:30 am. Pat got up and stretched before moving into the kitchen. He glanced over to the front door of the apartment and saw that Achilles' shoes and coat were gone. 

They were both on spring break of their senior year. Patroclus’ final semester was the lightest, meaning for the first time in years, he could actually enjoy the time off. He didn’t have any studying to do or projects to work on, allowing him to actually focus on himself. It was a nice change- he could feel his mental health resetting, readying itself for the last push before they both graduate. 

But while he could relax, Achilles could not. Achilles won his last track meet, allowing him to go to Nationals. If he gets a high enough score, he’d be eligible to try out for the Olympic team- a dream he has had since they were kids.  Patroclus was so excited for his love and reveled in the excitement it gave his boyfriend. He could talk about nothing else, and Patroclus listened happily. The meet was in a few days, and Patroclus had already prepared his signs, ready to cheer him to victory.

But another feeling has been creeping into Patroclus- concern. He had noticed that Achilles had increased his training sessions in both duration and number. Achilles usually trained for two hours a day, split into 2- 1 hour sessions. When a meet was coming up, he had the addition of 2 hour practices daily. But now, Achilles had increased his training session to long, 12 hour days- 6 hours in the morning and 6 hours at night-of intense workouts. He would run for three hours, do strength training for three hours, and then run for six hours. Despite being on spring break, Patroclus barely saw him. While it hurt to be pushed to the side, Patroclus understood- he's done the same thing before. But what worried him was that Achilles was falling into habits that Patroclus had ALSO gone through- ones that nearly killed him. 

Pat had never been a  varsity athlete- he simply never had the time. He did train for local boxing and wrestling competitions, but nothing close to the level Achilles was at. He could only imagine the amount of effort it took to be fast enough to make the Olympic team. He understood that to be the best- at peak condition- took intense training. But Achilles seemed to have been going above and beyond what was safe or healthy- and it was starting to have a noticeable affect. He has seen how exhausted Achilles is at the end of the day- many nights he’s so exhausted, Pat couldn’t even get him to eat. Patroclus is starting to wonder if he exercises exclusively to get out of eating, as it seems Achilles was trying to eat as little as possible.

The change in eating habits is what had Patroclus most concerned. It had NEVER been hard to get Achilles to take a break to eat something- he was very good at listening to his hunger cues and fueling himself for max performance. Even before a meet, Patroclus would have no issue convincing Achilles to have at least a protein shake. Usually Patroclus was able to get him to eat a full breakfast to fuel him before the noon-time meet. But for the last few weeks, Achilles has been eating less and less. Getting him to even eat an egg in the morning took a lot of convincing.  When they had lunch together, Achilles would not eat nearly enough- saying that he'd just throw up. He'd often refuse a sandwich, and only eat a piece of fruit and a protein shake under much prompting. 

For the last week, Achilles has been waking up hours before Pat, escaping before Patroclus could to pressuring him to eat something. But starting before 3:30 am was unusual. Pat checked his phone and sighed.

Today, 1:30 am

Hey baby! I can’t sleep so I’m starting my workout early this morning. I should hopefully be back by 9:30 am. I can’t wait to see you then. Love you <3

Patroclus texted him back:

Today, 3:30 am

Okay love. Please be careful. I love you too. 

Patroclus sighed. He fried a few eggs, grabbed a cup of coffee, added an apple and called it breakfast. He quickly ate and grabbed began a leisurely morning, hoping that Achilles would be back soon. 

Nine hours later, Patroclus finished the book  he had been reading and placed it next to him.  He looked at the clock and frowned: 12:30pm- three hours past when Achilles said he'd be home. Achilles still wasn’t home. Patroclus looked at his phone- nothing. He sighed- it seems Achilles "lost track of time" again- it was time to give him a reminder. He smiled- it was time to take care of Achilles like he took care of him last semester- a task he was honored he could do. 

Patroclus could almost guarantee that Achilles didn’t eat before he left, which when he’s burning that many calories simply wouldn’t end well, so he packed a lunch. Patroclus hummed happily as he made Achilles' favorite sandwich, which he added to a bag containing an apple, a few granola bars, a protein shake and a few cold waters. Satisfied, he  grabbed his keys and headed out the door. 

Patroclus drove along Achilles’ normal route- the field, the trail, and then the gym. When Achilles was training for a normal meet, Patroclus would simply run the route. The furthest point- the gym- was only about a mile and a half away. Many spring days when he got home early, Patroclus would run to wherever Achilles was training and they'd exercise together before walking home. When they both had energy to burn, they'd even race each other to see who could get home first- just like they did when they were children. Achilles would always laugh whenever Patroclus won, claiming that he "let him win" when in reality Patroclus' longer stride and more strategic use of energy were often the cause. Either way, they'd end up laughing until they both collapsed on the couch and cuddled, messaging each other's aching muscles until they could relaxed. But today, even the mile and a half walk home would be too much-  Achilles NEEDED to take a break, whether he wants to or not. So Patroclus drove. 

Patroclus was relieved to find Achilles at the first location- the rec field next to the community center. His bright pink track suit would make him viewable from space- a fact Patroclus was quite grateful for. He parked the car and watched Achilles as he was running yet another grueling drill, running to each line on the soccer field, stopping to do some sort of strength exercise, and then running back. Patroclus got out of the car and ran up to him. Achilles was so focused, he didn’t even hear Patroclus come up. Patroclus simply ran the drill with him, doing each exercise with him, until he finally noticed him at the center line.

Achilles smiled. “Hey baby- are you here to work out with me?”

“No, I’m here to force you to take a break.” Patroclus said. He looked at Achilles closely. He was drenched in sweat- looked as if he had showered while wearing his multiple sweatshirts. His face was pale, with large dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. His muscles twitching from overuse and his entire body shook, indicating his blood sugar was low. Patroclus swallowed his worry, and used it to feed him determination. 

“Okay let me..” Achilles started. Patroclus silenced him with a gentle kiss.

“‘No, baby.” Patroclus said, pulling back to catch Achilles' gaze. “It’s after 12:30 pm. Presuming you actually started this at 1:30 am, you’ve been working out for 11 hours straight. But I have a feeling you actually started at 12 and simply forgot to text me until 1:30 am.”

“You’re right” Achilles sighed. He was suddenly hit by a wave of exhaustion, and rested his head on Pat’s shoulder. “I’m sorry- I am just so nervous for this meet. I never thought I’d have an opportunity to go to the Olympics- to fulfill my dream. So I have to do whatever it takes to make the most of it.”

Pat kissed his forehead. “I know love. But I don’t want you to work yourself to death.” He smiled. “You took care of me during exam season- let me do the same now.”

Achilles nodded. Suddenly his legs gave out, causing him to fall into Patroclus. Patroclus caught him, and placed an arm behind his back to keep him standing. He moved his other arm down Achilles’ sides and looked up at Achilles. “May I pick you up, love?” 

Achilles nodded, wrapping his arms around Pat’s neck. 

Pat smiled and scooped Achilles up in a bridal carry, allowing him to relax completely into his chest. His poor Achilles was exhausted, and from the spasms Patroclus felt under his fingers, was also in a lot of pain. He kissed his forehead. "It's time to get you home, my love. Let me take care of you."

Achilles nodded drowsily. 

Patroclus quickly walked them to the car and gently placed Achilles in the passenger side, Once they both were belted in, Patroclus turned to Achilles and handed him the lunch. When Achille pushed it to the side, Patroclus sighed and grabbed the sandwich. 

“Achilles, here.” Patroclus said, handing Achilles a sandwich. "You need to eat something before you pass out." 

“That’s way too much Pat. Achilles said, shaking his head. "I'll just throw it up."

“Can you try? Please?” Patroclus asked. “I know you didn’t eat before you left, and you just burned a shit ton of calories.”

Achilles looked at Patroclus' concerned face and sighed. He took a bit of the sandwich before quickly eating half of it.

“Can I stop now?” Achilles asked. "I am feeling nauseous."

Pat nodded. “Thank you, baby. Now let me get you home.”

****

With a little more convincing, Patroclus was also able to get Achilles to drink a protein shake. After he had parked the car, Patroclus looked over and was relieved to see Achilles had stopped shaking so badly. While he was still obviously exhausted and twitching, Patroclus wasn't as worried that he'd faint before Patroclus could even get him inside. He got out and went around to Achilles' side, gently rosing him.

“Are you feeling better, honey?” Pat asked, stroking his hair gently. 

Achilles nodded drowsily, leaning into Patroclus' soft hand.

Patroclus smiled, gently caressing Achilles' cheek. “Good. May I carry you inside?”

Achilles smiled and nodded. He tried to hold his arms out, but found them too heavy to move. He would have been concerned if his mind had the energy to feel emotion. 

Patroclus, however, noticed Achilles' struggle to move his arms and felt a wave of worry go through him- one he just barely kept from showing on his face. Instead he smiled, picked Achilles up and brought him in, laying him gently on their bed. He squatted down in front of his boyfriend, looking deep into his half-lidded eyes. 

“May I undress you?” Pat asked. While he knew that Achilles would probably say yes, Patroclus asked anyway. It both let him assess Achilles' mental facilities- and make sure he was still oriented to the world around him- while also letting him keep control. The last thing he wanted was to scare him by touching him in a way he didn't expect. 

Achilles nodded. 

Patroclus kissed Achilles forehead. "Thank you, baby." He stripped off Achilles' track suit, as well as his drenched tee-shirt and shorts he was wearing underneath it. He placed them all in the hamper and made a mental note to do laundry later. 

"I am going to draw you a bath." Patroclus said. "You can rest here while I prepare it."

"Okay." Achilles mumbled. He had just closed his eyes when Patroclus returned and shook his shoulder. 

“Achilles, baby, I know you’re tired, but being clean will make you feel so much better.” Pat said as he stripped down to his boxers- there was no way Achilles could safely bath himself.

Achilles groaned. His eyes wondered over to Patroclus undressing and chuckled.  “What are you planning Pat? Am I that irresistible that you need to take a bite? Or are you just giving me a show?”

“I’d rather not have to explain to your mother that you drowned in our bathtub. It might look a bit sketchy.” Patroclus said. “But being forced to sit in a pair of soaked jeans isn’t exactly my definition of a fun time.”

Achilles nodded, too tired to think of a response.

Pat noticed his lack of sass and felt a wave of worry. He's not being a smartass- he must be exhausted. Patroclus thought with a frown. He quickly pushed his worry to the back of his mind and scooped up Achilles, kissing him deeply. “I love you so much, Achilles. Thank you for letting me care for you.”

“Your welcome” Achilles murmured, leaning into Pat’s shoulder. 

Patroclus smiled and carefully brought Achilles to the awaiting bath. Once he double-checked it wasn’t too hot, Patroclus gently placed Achilles in.

“Fuck!” Achilles said as his muscles hit the hot water. “This feels so fucking good.”

“I thought it would. Your muscles are so tight they are literally spasming.” Patroclus said. "Now let's get you clean." Patroclus gently climbed behind Achilles and knelt in the bath, allowing Achilles to lay his head on his lap. Patroclus pushed Achilles’ head into the water to submerge his long, golden hair curls. He grabbed the cleansing conditioner, and began to messaged it into his scalp. 

“Mhm. That feels so good." Achilles said, leaning back into Patroclus' touch. You are so good at this- I should have you bath me all the time.” 

“Maybe in your dreams. Believe it or not, I have other aspects of my life besides you.” Patroclus says chuckling.

“Yeah, but you know I am the most important part of it.” Achilles says.

Patroclus splashed Achilles playfully, but did not deny it.  He gently rinsed out the cleanser and added conditioner, detangling the curls as he moved the product through them. He grabbed a shower cap, and somehow managed to push all the curls under it, allowing the conditioner to penetrate his hair while Patroclus washed the rest of him.

Patroclus went to move when he felt a pair of hands grab him down into a kiss. “Please stay. You make a comfortable pillow.” Achilles said. 

 Patroclus rolled his eyes. “Fine. But if I throw my back out and miss my training with Odysseus this weekend I will be blaming you.”

“If you think that’s wise- Odysseus will think we were just too adventurous in the bedroom.” Achilles quipped back.

“I think you’re projecting your dirty mind onto Odysseus.” Patroclus said, chuckling.

“I honestly don’t think I’m too far off.” Achilles laughed.

Patroclus rolled his eyes. He leaned up slightly and grabbed Achilles’ body wash. Patroclus always loved the way it smelled- its cinnamon scent added a delicious spiciness to Achilles’ natural smell. He unconsciously gave it a whiff, and felt his dick twitch. Patroclus pushed his arousal aside- Achilles was way too tired to participate, enjoy, or consent to anything more than a nap- and went back to his work. He grabbed a cloth, covered it with the soap, rubbed it into  make a lather and began to washing Achilles. He rubbed his in small circles, cleaning off a visible layer of dirt and sweat off his golden, sun-kissed skin." 

“Mhm that feels so nice.” Achilles said. “And hot. If I wasn’t so sore and tired, I would take you right here and now.”

“I know, love. Trust me, the feeling is mutual.” Patroclus said, kissing his forehead. “But you need rest, and to give your muscles a chance to relax- you are going to injure yourself before the race if you keep pushing yourself this hard.”

“You worry too much.” Achilles said, laughing. "I'm fine."

"I’m serious, Achilles. I am getting legitimately worried about you.” Patroclus said as he continued to scrub down Achilles’ body. “You are barely eating, barely sleeping, and then working yourself for 12 hours straight. That is going to kill you.” 

Achilles grabbed Patroclus’ hand and kissed it. “Don’t worry, my love. I will be fine. After Friday I will be able to recover as much as I need to. Until then, I just need to keep pushing myself. I promise I’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” Patroclus sighed, though he was far from convinced. "I will trust that you know your limits- I just hope you don't prove me wrong."

"Relax- I'll be okay." Achilles said with a smile. He grabbed the washcloth from Patroclus and took over washing himself when Patroclus got to a point where he would have to stretch to continue cleaning. While he teased, Achilles did not want Patroclus to actually hurt himself while cleaning him. The best way to prevent that was to prevent him from needing to stretch awkwardly. 

While Achilles cleaned his lower half, Patroclus grabbed a bit more body wash and lathered his hands. He gently leaned Achilles forward and began to message his back, working slowly from the swell of his back all the way up to his shoulders. He could tell by the way Achilles was laying that his back was hurting him, especially his obliques. 

“Fuck, Patroclus.” Achilles moaned, dropping the washcloth. His eyes closed as he felt Patroclus message out the painful knots, feeling instant relief from his boyfriend’s talented fingers. “You’re so good at this.”

“Studying human anatomy has its advantages sometimes.” Pat said, grinning. He frowned. “Your shoulders are so tight- you aren’t stretching much are you?”

Achilles shook his head. “It wastes time.”

Pat rolled his eyes. “Yes because preventing injury is SUCH a waste of time.”

“It is when you’re invincible like I am.” Achilles joked. 

Patroclus sighed. He just kissed Achilles neck lovingly. “I just don’t want you to be in pain, love. And stretching will prevent that.”

Achilles stayed silent, simply enjoying his boyfriend's gentle touch. 

When Patroclus reached Achilles' neck, he hugged Achilles from behind and  kissed his forehead. “Are you ready to rinse off?” He asked.

Achilles nodded. 

Patroclus helped Achilles to his feet. When he let go, Achilles nearly fell forward, his knees buckling beneath him.  Patroclus quickly wrapped his arm around his waist and took most of his bodyweight, keeping him standing. Patroclus grabbed the showerhead and turned on the water. Once he had made sure it was the perfect temperature, Patroclus turned it to a gentle stream and rinsing Achilles off. The white suds were tinged grey as the dirt and sweat slipped off his skin, leaving gold in its wake. Once the soap was off, Patroclus helped Achilles sit on the edge of the tube and gently rinsed out the conditioner from Achilles’ locks. Finally, he was able to turn the shower off. 

Patroclus grabbed a clean towel and wrapped it around Achilles' shivering shoulders. He brought him into his arms and  carried him to the bedroom, grabbing combs, hair-ties, a hair dryer, and leave-in conditioner on the way. He set Achilles down on the bed and the hair supplies on the end table. Patroclus helped him into a pair of sweatpants and then let him rest a moment while he plugged in the diffuser to warm up and changed into a dry pair of boxers. He helped Achilles shift into bed, grabbed a pillow and placed it on his lap. He settled Achilles' down on his lap, keeping him  inclined just enough to be able to work on his hair.

Achilles groaned. “Can’t you just leave it?”

“You and I both know if I don’t do this now, we’ll have to rename you Chrysomallos.” Patroclus said. He kissed his forehead. “I don’t want to fight some asshole named Jason because he wants your golden fleece.”

“Can I close my eyes at least?” Achilles said. 

“You can fall asleep, my love.” Patroclus said. “I’ll adjust you as needed.”

Achilles nodded sleepily and closed his eyes.  

While Achilles nodded off, Patroclus gently diffused Achilles’ curls until they were nearly dry. He rubbed the leave-in conditioner between his hands and combed his fingers through Achilles' golden locks, using a large- tooth comb to distribute any clumps. He gently finished drying Achilles' hair with a clean cotton shirt and pleated it to keep it from tangling. When he was done, Achilles was fast asleep.

Patroclus stayed still, smiling down at his exhausted boyfriend, finally getting the sleep he so desperately needed. He stayed there as long as he could, until he could no longer feel his legs. When he finally did move, Patroclus was happy to see that Achilles didn't even stir. He smiled, stood up, and gently tucked his boyfriend in, kissing his forehead gently. Once he was sure Achilles was okay, Patroclus changed into sweatpants and gathered up the laundry. 

****

Patroclus was in bed, reading a book while Achilles slept next to him. His eye would wonder from the page to his beautiful boyfriend, watching as his chest moved slowly and deeply. He smiled, kissing his forehead as he gently stroked his hair. Achilles smiled in his sleep, shifting to wrap his arms around Patroclus' waist.

A few hours later, Achilles stirred. He looked up at Patroclus and smiled.

“Hey.” Achilles said drowsily. 

“Good morning, sleepy-head.” Patroclus said. He put his book on the side table and kissed Achilles gently.

Achilles relaxed into the kiss until the meaning of Patroclus' words reached his brain. “Oh no! Its not morning, is it?” He started to get out of bed, muttering that he needed to get another practice session in. But he felt Patroclus hold him back.

“Its just an expression, love.” Patroclus said. “It’s only 8 pm.” He smiled. “I ordered us some pizza- I was thinking we could have a relaxing movie night. You have already reached your 12 hour training quota- I think it would be best to relax.”

Achilles sighed. “That does sound nice. But pizza is way too heavy. Would you be greatly offended if I just had a protein shake instead?”

“A protein shake and a piece of fruit.” Patroclus said firmly. 

“Deal.” Achilles said. He cuddled closer to Patroclus, relaxing into his inviting embrace. Patroclus smiled and wrapped his arm around Achilles' shoulder. 

That is how they stayed until doorbell rung. Patroclus gently untangled himself from Achilles' reluctant grasp and answered it.  When he came back, he brought in a plate with pizza on it as well as Achilles’ requested meal. Achilles took his plate and placed it down, instead turning his attention to trying to find a movie to stream. Together they relaxed, cuddling together well into the night. 

Chapter Text

The next morning, Patroclus woke up alone again, but Achilles' side was still warm. He looked at the clock and smiled. 5:30 am. At least Achilles got some sleep.  

Patroclus looked at his phone: 

Today, 4:30 am

Hey Baby! I just slipped out for some last-minute training. I also have a one on one training session with my couch at 3pm.

I promise I’ll keep in touch and will be home by tonight. Love you <3

Patroclus got up and walked to the kitchen, composing what he was going to type back. He opened the fridge to grab the eggs when he realized they were out.  His eyes glanced at the counter and quickly realized they were out of apples, bread and nearly out of coffee. The latter was the most important- neither Achilles nor Patroclus could get going without a morning cup of coffee. He sighed-  grocery shopping was definitely going to be on the list of things to do. Today will be an errand day I suppose. Then I have tutoring tonight from 3:30-6:30. Patroclus thought. He texted Achilles back 

Today, 6:00 am

Alright sweetie. I am going grocery shopping so please text me if you have any specific requests. Just to 

remind you I have tutoring tonight so I’ll see you when I get home. Love you and please be careful!                

Pactolus grabbed a slice of leftover pizza and began his day.

****

It was 8:30 pm when Patroclus finally got home. He did a bit of overtime  because the student and her parents wanted to complete all of her homework under his supervision. Patroclus agreed as it would give him a extra hours and a nice bonus to his next paycheck. He smiled as he daydreamed all the fun he could have with Achilles with the extra. 

Patroclus walked up to their front door and smiled at himself. He knew Achilles would lecture him about staying late. While he acted annoyed, he loved that Achilles cared that much. It was always nice to be greeted by his beautiful face, especially when its stern expression melted into a kiss. 

Patroclus unlocked the  door and found the apartment dark and quiet. Usually Achilles either met him at the door or was waiting on the couch.

“Love?” Patroclus called. Silence. Patroclus walked into their bedroom to see if Achilles was sleeping. But the bed was empty.

Patroclus grabbed his phone and looked at his messages. It’s possible Achilles texted him and he simply hadn’t received it yet as he turns his phone off when he works. Patroclus looked at his messages. There were none from Achilles, but there was one from a number he’d never seen before. 

Today, 4:30 pm 

Hey! This is Achilles’ coach. Is he there? We had a meeting at 3, but he never came.

Patroclus felt a wave of panic. He quickly texted back.

Today, 8:33 pm

Hey! This is Patroclus, Achilles’ boyfriend. 

He is currently not home.  He texted me

this morning letting me know you two 

were meeting. Did he ever arrive?”

Patroclus sent the message and called  tried to call Achilles, but his phone went straight to voicemail. He felt his phone ping and anxiously looked at it. 

No. He never arrived. He didn’t answer my calls or texts either. 

Patroclus felt a cold wave of horror flow through him. He grabbed his car keys and ran out the door.  

Patroclus checked the gym first. The attendant said Achilles had left around 2:30. Patroclus thanked her and left to check the field next. Patroclus looked over ever inch and found it entirely empty. He sighed. There was one more place to check- the trail.

Patroclus pulled into the parking lot for the nature trail Achilles used to train. It was a 10  mile trail over a variety of terrain. It formed a nice loop, which  made it perfect for training for longer- distance events. It was less popular than its neighboring 20 mile nature trail, which also kept it relatively crowd-free. Which Patroclus worried might not be a good thing in this case. 

Patroclus got  out of the car and began to run down the trail. He used his phone flashlight to check the trail around him. 

“Achilles!” Patroclus yelled as loud as he could. "ACHILLES"

He continued looking and yelling, his desperation rising. His lungs burned as he ran, his eyes darting around in the darkness for any sign of his love. But none appeared until he got to the 7.5 mile marker. As he was scanning the ground, Patroclus saw a sparkle. He looked closer and recognized Achilles’ pink running shoes. He followed the shoes up and saw Achilles laying in the long grass.

“Achilles?” Patroclus said. He reached out and gently shook him. No response. Patroclus grabbed his hands and found them cool to the touch and felt a wave of horror flow through him.  Dear Gods please have him not be dead.

He placed his hand in front of his love’s mouth and cried out in relief when he felt air hitting his hand. Patroclus scooped up Achilles and ran back to the parking lot, where he called 911. Minutes later, Patroclus was in the back of an ambulance, accompanying his love to the hospital.

*****

Patroclus held Achilles hand while the doctors evaluated him. He felt his eyes prick with tears. How could I let this happen? I should have checked in earlier. I should have…”

Patroclus was brought out of his thoughts by a comforting hand. He looked up and saw Penelope looking down at him. 

“Stop that.” She chastised softly.

“Stop what?” Patroclus asked. 

“Stop blaming yourself. You and I both know that Achilles is stubborn. There was nothing you could do.” Penelope said. 

She smiled. “He’s lucky you’re as smart and caring  as he is stubborn.” Penelope looked at the young man in front of her. “You just saved his life, Pat. His electrolytes are so low that they’ve started  to affect his heart." She pointed to the sinus rhythm on the vitals machine- it looked like a child twirling a streamer more than what Patroclus had ever seen before. "This is called torsade de pointes- it means that the lower chambers of Achilles' heart are beating faster than the upper chambers. If this is left untreated, it can easily slip into Ventricular Fibrillation, which is when your heart simply flutters and doesn't actually beat.” Penelope shook her head and sighed. "If you had waiting another hour, he would have died."

Patroclus' eyes grew wide, the meaning of Penelope's words hitting home. I could have lost him. Patroclus thought. His eyes looking up at the vitals machines besides Achilles' bed. They weren't good- his heart was still racing at 160 bpm,  his blood pressure was low at 80/60, and his temperature was high at 39.0 C. I still could lose him.

“He’s not doing well, is he?” Patroclus said. His breath quickened as his brain began to spin. He suddenly couldn’t breath, couldn’t think as his thoughts began to race.  I can't lose him. I can't lose him. This is all my fault- if he died, I killed him. I nearly killed him. Oh my Gods I nearly killed him, I..."

Penelope saw Pat's eyes grow wide and his breath quicken. She squatted down so she could look him in the eyes. “Look at me.” Penelope said calmly. 

Patroclus was hyperventilating, but managed to look at Penelope.

“Tell me five things you can see.” Penelope said, keeping his gaze. "Anything- look around."

Patroclus' eyes glanced around the room. “I can see a blanket, a tv, your necklace, a painting of a sunflower, a blood pressure cuff.” Patroclus said. His breath was still fast but started to slow.

“Good!  Penelope said. "What are four things you can hear?”

“I can hear footsteps, the TV playing, the people outside talking, and the beep of machines.” Patroclus said. His thoughts began to slow and quiet down- more like a winter flurry than the blizzard they were before. 

“Good.” Penelope said. “Tell me three things you can feel.”

“I can feel Achilles’ hand beneath mine, my shirt on my skin, and the plastic of the chair.” Patroclus said. He was panting, but no longer hyperventilating. He felt his mind returning to his body, grounding him and slowing his thoughts even more. 

“Good, Patroclus.” Penelope said. “Now tell me two things you could smell.” She chuckled. “Just don’t sniff too deeply. 

“I can smell disinfectant and Achilles’ body spray.” Patroclus said. He was still jittery, but he was back in control. The whirling storm of thoughts had been quieted, allowing Patroclus to push it to the back of his mind. 

“Good. ” Penelope said, smiling. "Now, which of the vitals are you worried about?"

“His heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature.” Patroclus said. "And his sinus wave- it looks bad."

“You are right- those vitals are out of normal range.” Penelope said. “But none of them are life-threatening, at least not yet. And if they begin to slip, we have medicines that can change that. While his heart rhythm looks scary at the moment, I am confident after we replenish his electrolytes, it will go back to normal. And if it slips into Ventricular Fibrillation, that's what crash carts are for. There is a high resuscitation rate among young people, especially those like Achilles who were previously healthy."

“The good news is, we seem to know what’s going on, a large part thanks to your excellent patient history.” Penelope continued. “His abnormal heart rhythm can be explained by the fact Achilles is severely dehydrated- something that can be easily remedied. His blood sugar was also very low-we would have worried he was hypoglycemic if you hadn’t let us know that he’s been skipping meals.”

"So you are going to balance his electrolytes by giving him IV Potassium and Magnesium as well as give him glaucous to raise his blood sugar?" Patroclus asked. "And normal saline to rehydrate him?"

Penelope smiled. "Exactly! And with that combination, I know he's going to wake up soon." She smiled. “You’re going to make an excellent doctor, Patroclus. 

Patroclus looked down. “Even though I just had a panic attack? Over vital signs that were only slightly out of range? I could kill someone if I froze like that.”

“They are more than slightly out of range- you were right to be concerned.” Penelope said. She caught his gaze. “As for your panic attack, that is why we never treat our own family.” Penelope said. “Trust me, if Odysseus was on the bed in front of me, I would not be nearly this calm. I couldn't be- I love him, and the thought of losing him would pollute my mind and freeze me from doing what needed to be done. While I love you and Achilles  too, I am able to detach enough to help you- with Odysseus that wouldn't be the case. She chuckled. "Heck, when I was taking care of you, there were points I struggled to stay neutral and detached. It was hard to contain how angry I was at those who hurt you.” 

She placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re doing great, Patroclus. Don't use this one experience to dissuade you from following your dreams. I know you'll make an amazing doctor, and I can guarantee anyone with eyes will agree.” 

Patroclus smiled. "Thank you, Penelope." He looked at Achilles as he lay unconscious on the bed. “Is Thetis coming?”

She shook her head. “Thetis is on standby if something changes, but she trusts you have the situation under control. And I agree with her.” Penelope smiled.

“Thank you, Penelope.” Patroclus said. "I'm sorry I freaked out."

Penelope smiled and embraced Patroclus. "Don't apologize, Patroclus. It's my job to make sure the patient- and their family- are supported." She chuckled. "Besides, doing a quick grounding exercise is good for me too." Her face turned serious. "I’m going to get you some water. I want you to drink it all, you hear me? The last thing you need is to get admitted too.”

Patroclus nodded. “Yes, Ma’am.” 

Penelope smiled. “ Thank you for not being stubborn. It’s a nice change."

“I think we know too many stubborn people.” Patroclus said.

Penelope laughed. “The stubborn ones are the most fun.  Just not as patients.”

Chapter Text

Achilles stirred. He looked around and noticed he was in the hospital, in the same room Pat stayed in. The sun was shining through the window, illuminating the yellow walls in a soft, warm light. His stomach dropped when he saw the whiteboard on the wall next to the door, specifically the date "Friday, April 25." He glanced at the angle of the sun and nearly panicked.

“ The race!  I’m missing the race!” Achilles thought. He tried to get up, but he was hit by a wave of pain. Every one of his  joints ached, and it felt like every muscle was knotted , at the brink of spasming. He was going to try again when he looked up and saw Pat’s face. 

Achilles felt his heart break as he saw his love look down with such worry. He was as bad as Achilles had been when Patroclus was jumped. His eyes had large bags under them, his skin was pale,  his clothes were rumpled and his cheeks were tear-stained. His gray eyes were dimmed, the same way they did when he was ruminating on something.  Pat doesn’t seem to realize Achilles is awake. So though his hand hurts, Achilles squeezed Patroclus’ hand.

Patroclus thoughts raced as he looked down at his love. The poor thing is missing his race- he’ll be so disappointed. He’s missing the race I nearly let him die preparing for. I should have stopped him. I knew he was pushing himself too hard yet I did nothing! I can only hope my prayers to Athena and Apollo are answered. I can only hope that they don't see this as just punishment for the crime of being a neglectful partner. 

  Patroclus was taken out of his thoughts by the feeling of his hand being squeezed. He looked down and saw Achilles’ emerald green eyes were looking up at him, a weak smile on his lips. 

“Achilles!” Patroclus said, leaning down and kissing his beloved's forehead. He was about to speak when he was overcome by emotion. All the fear, self-hatred, blame, anxiety and pure agony came out at once, sending Patroclus into shuddering sobs. But a strange feeling followed them- anger.

Achilles sat up and pulled Patroclus into his chest. “Shh love. It’s all going to be okay.” Achilles soothed. "I'm okay." He looked into Patroclus' grey eyes and was shocked to see them shining in anger, their gentle pools of silver sharpening into storm clouds.

“NEVER.FUCKING.DO.THAT.AGAIN.” Patroclus growled loudly.  “You could have fucking died, Achilles!”

“I’m sure your…” Achilles started but Patroclus cut him off.

“Achilles, I found you lying next to the trail, unconscious.” Patroclus said sharply. “ I nearly didn’t see you as you were so well hidden in the grass. Had I not seen the glint of your sneakers, I wouldn’t have known you were there. You must have been there for hours as you were cold to the touch. At first, I thought you had died.”

Large tears ran down Patroclus’ cheeks. “And you truly could have, Achilles. Penelope said if you had gone another hour  longer without medical attention your heart would have stopped. I SAW your vitals when you first came in- I saw how poorly your heart was functioning. She wasn't exaggerating- had I waited any longer, Thanatos might have arrived before I did."

Patroclus' face flushed red with anger. "You would have died, Achilles! Even if you don’t give a shit about that, I do!” Pat snapped. His face dropped, large tears extinguishing the fires of anger that had been there moments before. “I can't lose you, Achilles.” Patroclus said, his voice cracking. "I can't survive without my twin-flame. Please, don't do that again." Patroclus' face fell into his hands as his shoulders began to stutter in agonizing sobs once more. 

Achilles grabbed Patroclus and pulled him down besides him, bringing his beloved into a tight embrace. For several moments, Achilles let Patroclus cry, whispering comforts and assurances. Each trembling sob caused his heart to shatter, sending waves of guilt through him. “I am so sorry, Patroclus.” Achilles said softly, stroking his dark brown curls. “I shouldn’t have pushed myself so hard. All got a stupid race I’m missing anyway.”

“I’m sorry,” Pat said, looking up from his hands and gently stroking Achilles' cheek. “I know you were looking forward to it.” 

Achilles shook his head, smiling down at his beloved as he dried the tears that welled in his eyes.  “It’s okay. It's my own fault- I should have never become so obsessed with it.” He looked down and sighed. “I’m sorry, Patroclus. I forgot what was important and nearly ruined it for us."

Achilles caught Patroclus' gaze, looking deeply into Patroclus' eyes. "I promise I’ll never do that again.”

 “Promise?” Patroclus said softly.

“Promise.” Achilles said, kissing him deeply. 

****

The next day, Patroclus drove Achilles home from the hospital, with strict instructions to make sure he’s eating and drinking. No strenuous exercise for at least two weeks. The car ride is silent save for Achilles humming along to the radio. Patroclus' eyes never left the road, seemingly terrified that even a side glance would end up killing them. Achilles watched him, worried and confused. Is he still mad at me? Achilles wondered. 

As soon as they walked through the door, Patroclus turned to Achilles and silently handed him a granola bar.  Achilles smiled at him, and ate it happily, hoping to show him that he was okay and would keep his promise. Yet, Patroclus was still aloof and on-edge, seemingly forcing himself to be vigilant as punishment for a crime he felt he committed. Achilles looked deeper into Patroclus' eyes and saw that they were dull not only from rumination, but for pain and pure self-hatred. Achilles felt his heart shatter as a realization hit him. 

“Pat, you don’t blame yourself for this, do you?” Achilles asked.

Patroclus nodded, unable to speak. It was his fault- he should have done something, yet didn't. How can I claim to love him when I nearly let him kill himself?! Patroclus thought. How could I be so stupid!

Suddenly Patroclus turned away from Achilles and punched the wall, transferring all the self-hatred into his swing, leaving a noticeable dent in the drywall. He reeled back again when he felt Achilles catch his arm and pull him into a tight embrace.   

“Leave the wall alone." Achilles scolded gently. "It didn't do anything, nor do you deserve the pain that you know will result from assaulting it."

His eyes softened and filled with tears. "Sweetheart, you are not to blame for this." He looked down.  "You are the reason I’m alive, Pat.  It was your love, patience and concern for me that prevented me from passing out the day before- I don’t think I need to tell you that I didn’t eat before I left. I would have kept going until I fainted had you not come  and got me. Had you not cared enough to look for me- to notice I was missing- I would have been a goner. I would have sent myself to the Underworld over the stupidest of reasons- raining for a race I was already prepared for.”

He felt Patroclus’ tears on his shoulder. “Shh..my love. You take such good care of me, Patroclus." He gently lifted Patroclus' chin to meet his gaze. "I promise I wouldn’t endanger myself again- at least in that way.”

Achilles was happy to see a weak smile come over his lover’s face. He took his hands and was sadden to see a grimace. He looked down at Pat's fist and saw it beginning to bruise. "Let's get you some pain medication for this."

Achilles led Patroclus to the bathroom and handed him some Advil, and watched to make sure Patroclus took it. When Patroclus looked at him with a look of guilt, he kissed his forehead. "Don't you dare feel bad." Achilles whispered. His face broke into a smile. "You take care of me when I do something stupid and I take care of you when you do something stupid. That is how we work and how we will work until we learn from all our mistakes and  are both perfect souls who don't do stupid shit anymore." Achilles chuckled. "So it will continue to work like that for I'd say at least a millennia, at least for you. It will probably take a couple eons for my stupid butt to catch up."

Pat gave him a small smile. "I wouldn't say so- to me, you are perfect now. And you always will be."

Achilles smiled and kissed Patroclus deeply. "And you will always be perfect to me." He looked up into his beloved's face, happy to see it crease with a small smile. But he also saw the exhaustion that lay just beneath the surface- exhaustion Patroclus wouldn't even be able to deny for much longer. 

Achilles kissed his forehead.  “It’s time you get some sleep.” 

“Only if you come with me.” Patroclus responded. 

Achilles kissed Patroclus softly. “Of course love." He gently took Patroclus' uninjured hand. "Let's get some sleep."

Achilles lay down first, and opened his arms for Patroclus to join. Patroclus smiled and wrapped his arms around Achilles, holding him tightly, resting his head on Achilles' golden chest. Emotion racked through him once more as the popped blister of the last few days seeped pain into his mind once more, and he began to weep. Achilles simply held him,  peppered his face with kisses and reassurances until Patroclus' weeping quieted into the gentle breaths.

"I am going to marry you some day, Pat." Achilles whispered. "I am going to make it official one day."

"Not if I do it first." Patroclus replies in his sleep. 

Achilles chuckles gently, kissing Patroclus' forehead before relaxing into sleep.