Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

First part of my rewrite for Nexus's villain arc

Trigger warnings

Eating disorders

Self harm (Cutting and burning)

Mention of death

Pill popping /taking drugs

Smoking 

Moon just sat there in his room after one of his biggest breakdowns still holding back the oil tears that continued to threaten spilling the whole this was to degrading...he knew his sister Earth constantly told him not to feel bad for his own emotions and having people see them
but he could see how sun got upset when he called Solar his brother... he still loved sun and definitely didn't have his favorites it was just that Solar was basically his safe space in a way he was always going to stick out he was the youngest but always perceived as the oldest even though he wasn't the pressure of everything

bringing back Solar , always having to be the smart one, never able to be upset , having to fix everything, it was all tiring and slowly chipping away at his already fragile mental state god he felt pathetic he couldn't bring Solar back and he couldn't keep himself together which was what everyone was expecting of him he didn't notice how his 'nails' we're digging into the metal of his arm since he was to lost in his fucking  mind  after a bit he looked back down to see deep cuts on his arm and his fingers about and inch deep into them seeing the oil and the exposed wires he just sighed god why did he have more self control....

He practically dragged himself out of his bed which he'd been in all day just 'rotting away' he felt a bit lightheaded as he got up maybe it was the lack of sleep he couldn't remember the last time he slept of even charged but maybe that was his shitty memory or the lack of food the new body he got made it so they felt the need to eat maybe to make them more human like or some other stupid reason but he did feel the need to eat he hated most food and the feeling of being full it felt wired so he just didn't eat sure he'd drink like coffee or have coffee here and there but besides that he didn't even bother with it 

he just walked over to his desk he thought about whether or not to repair his arm he sure as hell didn't have the energy to do that he could barely keep his eyes open not to mention having to keep them focused he just sighed again and rubbed over his arm feeling the sting from the new cuts he could definitely feel the pain but it didn't feel bad it felt deserved he just grabbed the hoodie off of the desk he didn't remember it fitting this loosely on him...well Monty did say there was some type of feature to have their weight change maybe he was getting skinnier he did look better than before...it felt nice...a little to nice..maybe not eating was a good thing…

he leaned on the desk hid when did his legs feel so weak...why was this all hitting him now.... did his crying exhausted his body that badly ? He just signed and walked back over to his bed practically collapsing onto it the tears were gone now his emotions too he felt so numb yet angry he hated it he didn't want to sleep yet anytime he did his mind just went to the worst things he fears his regrets everything bad about himself hid he mind was going to make him insane one day..he just laid there holding the star plush the Solar had gotten him as a joke god why didn't everything bring him back to that day everyone else could move one why couldn't he...why did he still have to suffer

he was practically shoving the plush into his chest he could feel the harsh pressure from it it was such a bitter sweet feeling....after awhile he feel asleep it wasn't any good sleep filled with memories and regrets and his fears...after the four hours of rest he had he woke up still groggy he felt so weak mentally and physically he just sat up holding his body up by his bed frame looking at his nightstand to see the sushi sun had offered he softly picked up the container he wasn't hungry but he needed some comfort

 and he'll just puke out the food later....he grabbed the little chopstick package ripping the paper then breaking the two sticks apart from each other cringing a bit from the woods texture he opened the sushi container it was his favorite type at least...he put some in his mouth he could tell it was a bit stale from being in his room for the 2 or 3 hours but it was still good and he brought him a bit of comfort he only ended up finishing half before feeling a bit of shame for eating closing the container and getting out of the bed on weak legs 

and walked over to the mini fridge in his room and put it back in there before softly closing the fridge door stretching a bit still feeling exhausted even after sleeping seeing the low battery warning pop up in the corner of his eye his groaned a bit grabbing his charger from his desk and going back to his bed plugging it into his back and just laying down on his bed again...sliding open the drawer on his nightstand grabbing a pill bottle that maybe didn't have the best stuff in it grabbed about 5 pills and popping them into his mouth and swallowing he sat for a couple minutes still feeling like shit scoffing and grabbing the pack of cigarettes and his lighter

 putting the cigarette in between his lips and lighting it he just stared at the fire on cigarette he accidentally broke his ash tray last week he didn't really know how to put the cigarette out so after he was done smoking his just used is arm looking at the burn marks now let he could feel the stinging pain from it but didn't really care he knew he deserved it...he grabbed his lighter lighting it again and burning some spots on his arm hissing at the pain but still keeping a blank face stopping after a bit turning off the lighter and rolling down his sleeve laying back down and sighing...eh what harm could a bit more sleep do...?

This is very short I know it’s only about 1000 words but I’m tired dw I will write more tomorrow (^-^)/

Chapter Text

⚠️Trigger warnings⚠️

Eating disorders 

Self inflicted starvation 

Self Neglect

Unintentional suicidal thoughts

Self harm

hallucinations

Age regression (some people are uncomfortable with it/don’t like it) (it’s just at the end though)

Nexus Moon 

Moon stirred in his sleep he’d only slept for about 3 hours not enough charge to keep himself up all day but he couldn’t force himself back asleep like usual he gave up on trying to sleep unplugging the charger from his back and sitting up in his bed letting out a small grunt as he did so his body still weak from the lack of everything barely awake at this point he felt the sting on his arm wincing at the pain and the realization of what he did to himself the other night he rolled up the sleeve on his right arm looking at the deep cuts and the dried up oil that surrounded them and the cut wires

 God he really did need to get better self control….

but the pain felt satisfying, deserved even god he was a fucking mess some freak that enjoyed pain…he just rubbed his left arm sighing leaning against the back board of his bed more softly sighing as he heard who he could guess was Sun getting up he softly chuckled hearing sun playfully lecturing his cats as much of a small and quiet chuckle but still one he didn’t want to leave his bed and given how weak his body already felt

just sitting he didn’t he even could his head still felt all fuzzy from the pills and the stuff he smoked the other night maybe popping pills wasn’t the best thing to do before sleep or well charging if you want to be more literal he quickly rolled down his sleeve and tried to stand up and the key words is well..tried…he ended up falling…he grunted as he tried to get up sitting on his knees now..god was he really that fucking weak…? He just sighed why did his body hurt so fucking much…? He just got back up on his weak legs and sat back down pouting in frustration with his own body

he just looked down at the shorts he was in they had already rode up to the tip of his thighs you could see all the cuts he had on them he let out a soft wince knowing he’d have to get up and change out of them he just plugged himself back into the charger maybe he was just low on battery yeah that’s what it was that’s probably the reason his morning had been so shitty he thought ignoring the 83  percent he had just hoping all the pain and weakness would go away…

after about 30 minutes he saw the full battery sign pop up in the corner on his eye he unplugged himself and tried to stand up again he finally was able to god his legs felt like shit…he just walked over to his dresser grabbing out some black sweat pants that had a white star on them and changed into them he just went over to his desk and sat grabbing the notebook on it he still needed to bring Solar back and he was going to do that no matter what everyone was counting on him to do so 

He continued to just sit and write looking for answer after answer on how to bring Solar back he knew it was impossible but god this guilt and pressure was eating away at him he couldn’t t count the times he’d already hit himself or his desk out of frustration after 2 whole hours of searching for any possible way to bring back Solar he was holding back so many tears and yells he didn’t need anymore pity from sun he didn’t deserve it

he looked back at the computer then his note book the words on both were blurred he couldn’t read it god how fucking stupid was he? His emotions were so mixed up and confused he couldn’t decide if you wanted to break down cry or yelling but he also felt to physically exhausted to do so he could feel his body aching from he lack of care how he’d starve himself just to try and gain a bit of self worth or so he could at least look at himself in the mirror he didn’t notice the oil tears already rolling down his cheek he roughly rubbed them off cringing at the sticky feeling of the oil on his hand and the residue on his face

He let out a noise that was a mix of a whine and a sigh already overwhelmed by everything the bright-light of his computer, the feeling on the oil on his face and now his hand, suns high pitched voice , the sound of the computer, the tv now on in suns room, today was going a shitty day….he just knew it 

 Time skip…

and he was correct he didn’t leave the house much since unlike sun he didn’t have to work in the daycare sun had already left and now he was in his bed just sitting his mind felt all fuzzy but not in a uncomfortable way it just felt all warm and cozy it couldn’t have been the stuff he did last night he’d done this before he felt little he didn’t like feeling so small but yet again it was almost comforting, soothing even he didn’t feel as shitty anymore but for some stupid reason he wanted bubba sun there he wasn’t to be held oddly it was all so confusing yet comfy

he felt like some lost kid whining for their sibling…he really did feel like a kid he felt little like a four year old he just grabbed the plushie off of his bed tightly holding it up to his chest maybe he could watch a show…he grabbed the remote next looking at the shows on the tv a small maybe even cute gasp coming out of him as saw my little pony..he knew it was childish but sunny was finally gone so no more judgement…

he binged the show for nearly an hour little babbles and giggles coming out of his his voice was softer no more of gravely element to it could be considered even cute to some people he just continued watching giggling at the silly things that would happen from time to time on the show until he heard sun get home rushing to turn of the show bubba Sunny will think he’s being bad..he quickly turned off the show Maybe if he just pretended to sleep Sunny wouldn’t get mad..! Moon just laid there for an awhile not noticing that sun had already gone back to his room his eyelids drooping already half lidded maybe just a little nap….

Sorry guys still not done with this chapter 😔🎀 (I’ll finish it either tomorrow or at 3am tonight) 

Chapter Text

Trigger warnings 

self harm scars

suicidal thoughts

hallucinations

shock torture

self harm through shocking 

insults

it had been weeks that he felt like this slowly going insane the pressure , the constant torture of the memories of his closet friend dying in his own arms, it drove him insane he yelled at earth and sun now all he felt was nothing…he was now sitting in the cell in own ’brother’ locked him in cursing at the computer which only resulted in him getting shocked he was on the verge of tears he couldn’t even count how many times he’d been shocked or the times he’d passed out from it the little snarky comments from the stupid non sentient ai computer weren’t helping the other one had already left he just sat there alone the computer finally stopped talking he felt so overwhelmed he could feel the heat on the back of his head it was oh so very painful he didn’t know either to yell or just cry from the pain how overwhelmed he was his emotions becoming more and more mixed up and confusing he just let out a pained pathetic laugh which was probably towards himself and how pathetic he looked currently Holding back tears he looked down at the scars that covered his wrists he’d taken off his hoodie since he was overwhelmed with it on earlier after sun and Jack left he didn’t want anyone to see on the scars or burns marks he didn’t need more pity…or something for them to laugh at…was he a bad person..? Yes he knew the answer to that he was he was terrible….yet he couldn’t feel anything so remorse…he was doing something that would help everyone…why couldn’t they see that..?! Everything was so overwhelming he hated it all why was he still stuck on solars death how could everyone else just move along why couldn’t he why couldn’t he be happy anymore..? Moon sighed trying to ignore the ringing in his ear until he saw sun..? No that wasn’t sun oh.. it was that stupid ‘dark sun’ guy….(who I’m just going to be calling Solstice) 

“Hello…,Moon”

Solstice said in his calm yet sickeningly sweet tone better than suns which was loud and overwhelming god why was everything over whelming now..?

”Yeah..,hi…”

Moon replied back backing against the wall more keeping his eyes on solstice glaring at him solstice Demeter didn’t change though he just sighed walking over to the cell easily opening the door he crouched down in front of moon. Moon back up against the wall even harsher as Solstice grabbed his head and tilted it so the back of his head was viewable covering his mouth as a chip was put it his eyes fading into a light purple before returning to normal

“What the fuck did you just put in my head..-“

Moon had shut off mid sentence….

”your finally quiet now…don’t worry it was just a little gift of mine…Moon Nexus”

solstice smiled knowing what he just put into moons head was a virus one that would make them lose it completely the nexus virus…this would definitely help with his plans for them…he just had to wait for everyone to give up on them and show their true colors…then he finally let of moons head mockingly laughing at them god this was going to be fun…how will the family react to their now insane brother he knows that moon will at least try to kill one of them that was the plan the virus had turned him off for the meanwhile…he just smiled down at moon before leaving…

After about 4 hours Moon finally woke back up his head hurt like shit what the fuck just happened he couldn’t remember much god everything was hurting..again..but he didn’t feel upset if anything he felt angry at everyone everything he didn’t understand the odd spike in anger but it wasn’t unwelcomed it gave him an adrenaline rush he just laughed god he was inane and it felt great….! The computer must have been shut off by now the constant insults were finally gone he looked up to see the cell open he walked out smirking dragging his own body as he walked on his now weak legs from just how long he had been sitting in that he’ll hole he was going to get revenge he was going to hurt somebody….they deserved it…they-…they left him…they abandoned him! Gave up on him…why was he the only one who had to pay while that fucking psycho got to live he killed trillions and somehow he was better than him it’s fine they just don’t understand why he’s doing for them…they never will he continued walking now where should he go..? His lab had already been found so that would be the first place they would check for him….eh he’ll figure that out later now to make sure that little red prick dies then he can be done with all of this and Solar will be back and everyone will be happy again right…?

Sorry guys this is another W.I.P chapter 😔🎀

Chapter Text

Moon Nexus

                   June 16

he just sat it was seemed to be the never ending black void covers it stars maybe in other circumstances he could admire and appreciate how pretty they where but the voices in his head blocked out everything his mind was racing finally catching up with everything that just happened what he just did he was still pissed at it all to in his head to regret anything and the voices were almost forcing him to the voice of old moon and fuck even Solar how he was failing everyone with what he was doing, how much better the original moon was compared to this now freak and disappointment version of him 

that couldn’t even do the simple thing of being someone back it seemed everyone else was able to do that but him but also every other person was allowed to be weak or stupid of fuck up but the sudden it was him he was deranged and too violent to be around or to be trusted  why couldn’t he just kill that stupid little red prick or the wired British freak show no one would miss to two mistakes but same went for him he just sighed trying to quiet the voice that wouldn’t fucking shut up for to life of him he flinched as he saw the sun themed animatronic out of the corner of his eye why or we’ll how was sun here he’d just been put here no more than an hour ago  probably less even oh…it was that dark sun thing…the evil smart one…

he just scoffed and looked over at the animatronic that was how starring at him with one hand on there hip in contrast to him crouched down on the floor facing to the right a bit only viewing the other animatronic through the corner of his eye 

“So you just here to stare or what..?”

he calmly said but still a bit of anger seeped through his words he wasn’t wanting to look at the other sun he was probably just here to make fun of him or kill him just like everyone else in this hell hole of a so called life but surprisingly he didn’t hear any insults of even a laugh at him surprisingly given the ‘fit’ he practically threw earlier he just sighed standing up to looked at the other sun animatronic tilting his head slightly

“Oh no that would just be a waste of my valuable time I’m simply here to offer a…deal..partnership if you will..if that would be okay with you Moon..?”

he said in a offering tone but moon knew this wasn’t something he was allowed to turn down he could practically sense the hint of a condescending tone that was smothered in the sickeningly sweet yet monotone voice he knew he had to play along and for some reason he couldn’t sense anything else bad about him if anything he felt more comfortable maybe even calmer which he knew he shouldn’t be letting his guard down but it seemed to do so automatically in his mind with no permission or second thought he just continued to listen waiting for more information on this so called offer of his

”Any catch..? I mean you wouldn’t help someone without wanting an offer in return knowing you…”

the other sun just seem to softly nod there head if he didn’t hear the small hum of an answer he would have guessed it was just a accidental tilt or something else 

“yes but for now I just need to remove a…thing..from the back of your head”

moon raised an eyebrow at how they didn’t mention what the thing was or anything about it or the reason but eh he was already in space bound to do anyway how important could a little piece be 

“alright then”

And Dark sun did as he said removing the chip which he knew was the one that held the old moon the original one simply tossing it down on the ground seeing moon immediately perk up at that he moved away seeing moon suddenly have a increase in energy he had to admit seeing them jump up and down was somewhat amusing and…cute…if that was the word it was almost childlike seeing how they were acting in contrast to the aggression and yelling shown no more if not less than an hour ago and even how they described the new feeling as ‘zippy’ he just softly chuckled 

time skip to after dark sun talks about the Astrals and nexus gets taken to the pocket/dark matter dimension 

Moon looked around at what was now going to be his new home smiling he loved how it looked it fit him he especially loved all the purple everything looked so dark and magical he wanted to research and analyze everything in his sight almost overwhelming with curiosity he walked with dark sun into the large castle-like building his eyes darting around the entrance the gasp he let out was small yet audible everything in this dimension amazed him already 

It was definitely what you would expect when someone would say a dimension that was made out of dark matter but it was still interesting to them he was finally stopped out of his train of thought as Solstice started to walk over to the castle he just simply followed still in his head a bit he was still questioning the fact of why this dark Sun person was so nice if that’s even the word to him he almost immediately offer a hand to him and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t already weirdly attached to them he finally stopped walking as he walked through the large doors the blue fire torched that lit up the house we’re definitely a nice touch in his opinion they weren’t as harsh as most lights he just softly smiled as he continued walking the Solstice listening to them talk and giving short answers back later as they got the the room with the dragon in it moon softly gasped seeing the creature he didn’t know it was possible to capture one he tried walking so he could get a better look to analyze it but Solstice quickly pulled him back he flinched harshly as the sudden touch and pull but once they let him go he just softly pouted sighing as Solstice continued talking about what would happen if he went near it or even if it woke up once solstice finished he just looked back at moon who need none the less uninterested he just sighed

”so I have a question….”

moon nervously stated not fully looking at solstice now 

“is it about why you can’t go near the wither storm..?”

Solstice blankly said ignoring the obvious anxiousness that moon was showing he didn’t think it would be anything besides that

”No,..no”

”then what your question Moon..?”

Moon cringed at the name he new that was his name but it didn’t feel like it he almost hated the name it almost hurt to hear it

”is it bad that I don’t like being called moon anymore…”

moon muttered out still obviously uncomfortable with being this open about it and the fact that he couldn’t even put into words how much he hated the name solstice just stared for a bit it definitely wasn’t what he was expecting especially not with how scared moon seemed to say it he just softly shook his head 

“no, it’s not “bad” but Is there reason you don’t like the name anymore…?”

moon thought for a bit he honestly thought solstice was just going to just shut him down on that imminently and he also was trying to find a way to word just how uncomfortable and angry the name made him and how it didn’t fit him he didn’t even know if it ever did he never wanted to be some clone of someone he never met before oh what he’d give to be made as his own person and not some clone who can never no matter how hard they tried live up to the name or fill the mold of the person

“It just doesn’t fit me anymore I guess maybe I’m just uncomfortable with the name now…?”

moon muttered out scared of judgement or rejection but oddly Solstices tone or emotions never changed once during this conversation it was odd for him he hadn’t had a proper conversation in months that wasn’t just insults and arguing back and forth as much as he didn’t admit it was definitely nice to talk to someone again and it not just be pure judgment 

“we’ll do you have any names in mind that you would rather go by..?”

Solstice said a hint of curiosity in his voice he himself didn’t care for his own name or even others he didn’t care what someone called him evil or dark sun, Solstice, he didn’t care but he was definitely intrigued by the fact moon was already open with him about feeling uncomfortable with their name 

“Nexus..”

moon Nexus said blankly as much as he never said it he always liked the name it always fit him better he always thought it was much a pretty name that was always the name he wanted but he never said anything about that 

“hm..?”

Solstice hummed in curiosity wanting to see if moon Nexus would elaborate more on the name choice it wasn’t something he had expected 

“Call me Nexus..”

they said a bit more firmly this time the more gravely element to their voice more prominent now  “

“alright then Nexus.”

Solstice didn’t question it neither did Nexus but solstice could have sworn he saw their eyes practically light up as he used their new name he just softly smiled before continuing to give Nexus the rundown of everything showing them everywhere in the castle and some of the rules they had to follow which seemed simple enough as Solstice lead them to the room that had both a lab and a bedroom for Nexus it had a expected color scheme black and a variety of shades of blues ,purples, and even some reds there wasn’t much in the room it was about as black as a white board it was obvious Solstice they intend for nexus to be the one to decorate it but Nexus didn’t mind maybe it could give them something to do for a bit to help distract from everything that had happened in the past couple of months maybe if they just ignored it all the bad emotions and thoughts would go away maybe the voices would finally be quiet 

nexus just softly smiled at nodded as they finally slipped out of the train of thought they were in noticing solstice had started to talk again sighing out relief as they finally left giving them permission to now get settled into their new room it was finally silent now there  wasn’t voices talking he softly smiled it was silent but a comfortable silence compared to when he was isolated before he just sat down over at the bed wincing at he felt his scars start to sting on his wrist he just softly rubbed his arm through the sleeve of his hoodie that was now covered in dust and burns and cuts…maybe there was some spare clothes laying around in the room Nexus stood up hold his head a bit once he felt all the lightheaded-ness

He just simply walked over to the desk in the room seeing a small pile of neatly folded clothing seeing the small note that simply just let them know the clothes were meant for him he set the note down them picked up one of the shirts it was a baggy (for him at least) shirt with some random alternative band on it he simply just softly laughed at how ‘edgy’ it seemed before sliding off his hoodie and gently putting on the new shirt that how hind below his shoulders it was a long shirt considering how tall he was the shirt reached to about half of his thighs he then noticed the fact that since the shirt was a short sleeve anyone could see his scars that well he had done to himself he frown a bit at the sight before just grabbing the fingerless gloves off of the desk and putting them on they were long and went all the way up to his elbows it was just simple black stretchy fabric they were made of but they weren’t as uncomfortable as the hoodie he just sighed walking over to the bed in the room seeing the charger for him resting on it he hadn’t slept or charged in Months he probably should now he didn’t want to end up passing out randomly he just simply pulled the charger into the wall before putting it into his back and laying down grabbing one of the extra pillows and clinging it to his chest as he rested on his side softly closing his eyes slipping into rest mode 

Chapter Text

Trigger warnings

Panic attacks

detailed gore/death (in a dream/nightmare)

self harm (scratching/cutting with nails/claws)

Torture

Nexus 

  He ended up awake at nearly 2am his eyes focusing on the little internal clock inside his head watching the minutes go up not waiting for any besides finally getting tired enough to force himself back into rest mode he hated when this happened he still felt terrible both mentally and physically he clutched at his audio processor as the voices in his mind continued he held back yelling as he heard solars voice just letting the tears rolling down his face speak for him and he repeated mentally ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again

he felt like he was going insane he was wasn’t he..? Soft or well weak choked out laughs came out of his mouth…god he was pathetic…the voices continued insulting him how stupid he was being how Solar wouldn’t be proud, god he would be so disappointed wouldn’t he if he saw just how broken and pathetic he was now just a shell of his old self his breathing had already picked up in speed, and the tears weren’t stopping anytime soon his vision was already unfocused from the amount of tears already welling up in their eyes but the voices didn’t care they just rattled on and on

nexus just continued repeating ‘shut up ,shut up!’ In his head but no matter how many times he repeated it, It wouldn’t stop the insults getting worse and worse since his mind new every insecurity he had anything that would break him down and god was it working his breathing was going so fast that his mind couldn’t comprehend it all he heard was his artificial pulse and the loud ringing in his ears or well audio processors all he could fell was the abnormally cold room and the sticky oil tears that now covered most of his face and hand much of it smearing as Nexus continued to try and rub away the tears and tear at his face in disgust of himself everything in his mind wasn’t being processed everything bad just happening at once 

 He was trying to calm himself down only panicking more in the process trying to voice his breathing to calm down not bothering with tears as he hyperventilated then completely stopped breathing that cycle repeating for about 10 minutes until he finally grounded himself god he hated this he gently got off of his bed and stood up walking over to the mirror beside the bed looking at the smeared oil tear stains and all the deep cuts and scratches from his nails 

he winced at the feeling already annoyed by the feeling of the oil and the stinging of the deep cuts letting about a soft whine at the feeling and the sight of everything he froze as he heard walking shit it was probably Solstice he didn’t need to see him like this he’s supposed to be emotionless and scary not some child who cried at the smallest of things but before he could fix anything solstice had already entered his room shit was he mad he really couldn’t tell with solstice what if he hit him..? He’d probably deserve that but he was still scared of it happening

oddly enough solstice just walked over to nexus just letting out a soft sigh as he saw all the scars and oil and how scared nexus looked they we’re probably comparable to the kids from when solstice used to take of of them in the daycare mostly they ones he didn’t come from the best of homes and to be fair that was what nexus was practically he had to admit he did feel a bit of pity for them he new how much the virus was affecting them after all he was the one to put it in but it was all for the best for him and Nexus well back to the task at hand solstice didn’t know what to say at this point nexus just looked away a small sniffle managing to come out of them

“Nexus, what happened this time…?”

Solstice said his tone still blank but he couldn’t really genuinely change his tone nexus just tried to wipe off the tears again in result only smearing the oil on his face more 

“Is nothing..”

Nexus tried to say in a firm tone but the wobbly-ness of there voice ruining it it wasn’t nothing but he really didn’t want pity or even just to talk about it Solstice didn’t respond much only giving a small hum of acknowledgment Nexus didn’t seem to mind much he froze again as the voice started again tears already threatening to spill again Solstice somehow seemed to recognize what was happening but not before nexus started to clutch his audio processors and scratch at them as well solstice just tried to pull their hands away from themselves to simply redirect them away from hurting himself more than he has already Nexus almost freezes at the feeling of being touched scared but also wanting more tilting their head. as solstice tried to let go of their arm nexus just grabbed onto their hand almost begging for some type of contact it seem to finally readjuster in Solstices mind that Nexus was touch starved he just softly sighed at the realization before nexus just hugged him clinging onto him almost he just softly scoffed at it before softly wrapping his hands at them as well Solstice almost cringed at the feeling of nexus practically clinging to him but he wasn’t mad maybe it just wasn’t used to it yet nexus was still clinging onto him pretty harshly solstice just sighed as nexus finally let go of him wiping of the oil that had smudged onto the corner of his chest and shoulder as nexus just wiped the tears off of their face looking down almost embarrassed at how needy and weak they seemed to solstice

oddly solstice didn’t seemed to mind well as long as you weren’t counting the soft glare he had where Nexus’s tears and well oil had smudged on him solstice just softly exhaled before asking Nexus again what had happened to cause this big of a meltdown Nexus just looked away still uncomfortable with the topic ‘God why couldn’t solstice just leave already?’ And as if Solstice could just read his mind he left nexus just looked up to see solstice leaving and closing the door to their room nexus just looked back in the mirror the cracks and scars very apparent on his face now along with the streaks and lines of sticky oil tears looked at the moon model in the mirror he hated his body he wasn’t moon he wasn’t that forced title he was given… he never asked to be some clone of a horrible abusive monster he hated it god the things he would give to just be created as his own person not just some fucked up clone who can’t do anything right who failed at everything be smart, bringing Solar back, keeping his family safe and happy, he didn’t know what to do anymore he didn’t want to go back home he wasn’t welcome anyway

Maybe he should make a new body one that did feel right he softly sighed he simply just walked back over to the bed laying down on his side again grabbing the plushie on his bed it was the same star one that Solar gave him, he kept it for some type of comfort in his fucked up life he just softly ran his thumb over the plush while holding it in each hand before tightly hugging it to his chest and closing his own eyes trying to force himself back asleep which while he did fall asleep his mind decided now was the ‘best time’ to give him night terrors and one’s of Solar seeing Solar being killed in various ways in front of him by ruin watching ruin cut or tear him apart watching the oil spill down to where moon was sitting god this felt so real he was already

hyperventilating and whining ‘no,no stop’ over and over again telling ruin to let him go but at last to no avail watching Solar die over and over forgetting what actually happened untill he finally woke up no tears oddly he wasn’t paying attention to his breathing but he could definitely feel just how fast it was he covered his mouth trying to stay quiet he didn’t need to make solstice more worried as he let out soft whines and cries god he was so tried but the rush of adrenaline was the only thing keeping him awake 

After awhile nexus finally seemed to calm down finally catching their breath and their vision no longer from the tears welling up in their eyes harshly exhaling almost sighing before just getting out of their bed no use for sleep now if it was just going to be filled with stupid nightmares they weren’t some kid why were they still crying over some little fake thing their head make up to well he didn’t really know why his head was doing this to him anymore even his own body thought he needed to be physiologically tortured now

he groaned standing back up trying to ignore the Gordy and graphic images filling his find of Solar his body parts thrown everywhere wires just barely attached to the body blood and oil covering every inch of the room ruin covered in it as well ruin looked like a monster their jaw was completely unhinged with sharp and corroded and cracked teeth nexus wanted to throw up at just the sight of the image in his head ruin look talked they looked like nothing but skin and bones literally you could see bones through their casing nexus hit the side of his head trying to get all the bad images to leave him alone tears already again threatening to spill a chocked out had sob and laugh leaving their mouth as the just sat at their desk trying to refocus their mind starting on mapping out or well drawing how they wanted their new body to look

since they feel so wrong and out of place in the current one he didn’t even know how to begin to describe the dysmorphia he had for his own body that he always felt so comfortable in before he hated every little feature now he couldn’t help but look at his face in disgust as much as he liked to place it onold moo. He knew he was still wanting to be like him as smart as him as protective as him he had been playing that roll since he was created that destiny already rolled out for him before he even knew his name well his old name the one that once felt so natural and loved that now felt so wrong to hear

how he knew he could never live up to the title and frankly he was done with trying he wanted so badly to just be himself not some ‘better moon’ not a good moon but just themselves they just wanted to be know as nexus that title was long left behind now just some shitty past 

work in progress yall my apologies 😞🎀

Chapter Text

TRIGGER WARNINGS

Torture

Sa/Rape (only referenced) (later in the chapter and there will be a warning in the chapter where the scene is so you can skip it if your uncomfortable/triggered by that topic)

Nexus x solar (they are not siblings here and never considered each other siblings and never will be related in any way) 

Nexus

Nexus had messed up he failed dark sun (solstice) again he already knew he had been pushing to far with everything he never meant to he just felt so safe he didn’t think he would actually hurt him not like this at least they took him at his lowest and helped them why was he mad now he seem so scary now he  felt like a monster to them but this was the last straw for him now Nexus messed with Solstice’s plan for Moon because he hurt and well basically tortured him him he just wanted a little favor they even offered something in return of well him killing the creator that’s all

he at least tried to be nice about it and ask and even offer something but of course him or we’ll Moon being the stubborn little ass that nexus was based off of said no and that he will never give them to him which was a stupid move for him  he followed the rules he didn’t kill him he barely even started to hurt that little bitch before the pain from using it took over him as well and now they were on plate of wither dragon not yet dark sun was dragging them by there arm he could feel just how tightly too

it hurt if he was human it would be enough to bruise them or even break or sprain something nexus was already crying  and begging pleading that they’ll do better for him to stop god they felt so weak and little they felt like some kid

“ill do better I promise I won’t make a mistake again just please..! !”

Nexus whined tear steak is down their face only thing coming out of there mouth was now repeated apologies and begging for him to stop nexus cried louder as dark sun practically threw him against the wall he was scared no terrified he felt solstice active his dark star power the agonizing pain filling their body their eyes already starting to glitch out they were hunched over on the ground crying there voice box already wearing down from how loud they were crying and begging for the pain to stop

they couldn’t speak anymore all they could do is just sit there and cry warnings flashing up in their eyes since their pain reciprocators or well processors were already on the brink of breaking nexus backed them selves against the wall as solstice started to approach them he could see that they were talking but his mind was already so overwhelmed with all the pain and emotions that he couldn’t process anything else before he could even realize what he was saying he felt Solstice tear wire from Their head

nexus screamed at the pain before dark sun turned off their voice and flipped them over and stomped on there stomach spilled out from the now gash in their stomach as they cried everything hurt they wanted to go home already did they even have one now…they all threw him away like trash before he could even finish his thought he felt solstice kick him against the wall and well after that his memory went blank nothing untill they felt their body being thrown into the wither dragons room

WARNING HERE FOR THE MENTIONS OF S/A

they just sat there trying to open their eyes even though they were already open he must have blinded him from all the torture just now noticing the pain that covered every inch of their body and feel that painful ache down at their modesty plate just them all the memories seemed to re-flood his mind he wanted to throw up at the meet thought of the images and memories in his mind he felt so weak and disgusting now they weren’t pure in any way any more

they felt so dirty they swore they could still feel his hand prints on their body just sobbing now fat streaks of tears flooding down their face no cries or anything coming out they knew he had turned back on his talking why couldn’t he talk anymore he wanted to beg and scream to be let out he wanted to cry untill there was so more liquid in his body to be used for more but he just sat there hating what just happened hating the feeling of him on their body hating everything their mind was processing

they wanted to go home they wanted to be Solar and sunny again he didn’t want to be here anymore but he was so scared of returning he just sat there and cried just waiting for the break from the pain which was death from either the wither dragon or how much oil they we’re losing from all the cuts and gashes and how their legs was only holding on by a coulee of wires just wanting it to all stop for it to have all just been a bad dream

he didn’t want to feel all the pain ok his body and the disgusting and dirty feeling that covered it he wanted sun he wanted to see Solar again to talk to him for him to fix him and tell him it’s alright he wanted to go home wherever that was now if he even had a place there he just sat there crying for what felt like hours crawling around on the ground since one of his legs didn’t work properly anymore he was scared that if he even tried it would give out and fall of its joint He felt the very skin of the thing he was being sacrificed too

it felt scaly he could feel the power and magic of it in the atmosphere around them it was the strongest here oddly enough he didn’t feel sick

he was sure that if any other moon even got close to where he was they would fall onto their knees in pain but he didn’t feel anything except for well the pain that already coursed through his body he could still hear the soft whimpers and hisses of pain he was letting out himself he just rested against the side of the wither storm not bothering to question it anymore

he liked being here better the power around him focused his mind away from everything that had happen everything just felt numb he knew his body and mind where still reacting and could feel the pain but him himself couldn’t react it was wired but it all drained out he could feel everything again the unwanted images flooding back again of him just frozen in place there as that asshole just did what ever he pleased with him why didn’t he push him if he was strong right so why couldn’t he even move in that moment

he didn’t want it he never wanted it why couldn’t solstice get that he cried as he felt the ache god he wasn’t even gentle he practically ripped his modesty plate and ruined everything in his body he just felt so tired emotionally he wanted nothing more than for everything to just stop if that meant death so be it he just sat there for what felt like hours only moving around the room to end up harming himself more until he felt a portal open in the castle it didn’t feel like solstices he paused as he realized it it was Solar would he be mad?

He did a lot that was bad…Solar couldn’t do anything worse than what he had already gone through so…just as he through that he felt solars footsteps in the room

“Moon..?”

nexus winced as he heard his old name he wanted to scream how that wasn’t his name but he felt himself unable to talk well lucky enough for him Solar just walked over to him seeing the broken and mutilated body of nexus Solar could tell they where still alive he saw the mixture of oil for the wounds and tears and liquids he couldn’t recognize and ones he didn’t hope to he just reached out his hand to them they searched for his hand for a bit then softly grabbed it their eyes relaxing a bit

Solar could tell they couldn’t see their eyes much have been broken by that wired dark sun freak he knew it must have been him he just helped nexus up just then noticing their Left leg that was barely hanging on my the joint on the knee he knew they couldn’t walk with just one leg and he didn’t want them to lose more oil and parts of their body

”is it okay if I carry you..?”

Solar asked trying to make his voice seem more calm and assuring not wanting to make nexus more uneasy then they already were he felt so awkward at the moment he wanted to cry and cling to nexus and know everything tagt happened to them but he forced himself to stay somewhat put together he sighed out of relief when they gave him a reluctant head nod he wanted to carry and hold nexus for a long time but not in a situation like this he just softly picked them up he could feel and see them tightly clinging to him and their body shaking in his arms

God how Solar wanted to kill whoever did this he knew they were “bad” but he knew they didn’t deserve this even if he didn’t know a lot about the new them or even what had happen but he knew it took a lot for them to breakdown like this and for them to not even talk or react to anything he just tried to softly rub the corner of their back close to where their shoulder was as he started another portal back to his own past lab or well workshop place

softly holding nexus in his arms as he saw another serge of pain go through them feeling their oil tears rub off onto his chest too worried about nexus to even care about how it was going to stain him more worried on making sure they were okay oh who was he kidding they very obviously weren’t more just to try and help as much as he could and find out what happened and what fucker even tried to put their hands on him

Solar paused a bit hearing his voice say that in his head god he was starting to be even more protective Solar just sighed questioning those feelings and his relationship with nexus was for later he need to help them sole thought as he stepped through the portal he had opened for himself as he finally got teleported back he quickly placed nexus on the table trying to make sure to to be to rough with them as too not damage them any further Solar just winced seeing their condition everything was broken…

their face and definitely their eyes one of their legs was completely off of their body it must have fallen off before they got here their body was corrupted with dark star power and even wither shard where the fuck did he even get those? Nexus was already powered off trying to saver the rest of the pow battery they had Solar was able to see and hear all the pops ups of low battery and their body’s injuries and all the oil ‘that basically worked like blood’ loss Solar just sighed hooking nexus up to his computer trying to do a system scan or what even was left of it trying to keep himself from crying or full of breaking down he had to help them first…Solar sighed as he looked back at the computer and saw the progress bar on his laptop slowly moving up he couldn’t fix them till it finished he just stood there look at nexus then the computer as issues loaded up on the screen nothing in their systems were okay everything was either corrupted, corrupting or out right gone and destroyed

Solar just stood there untill it finished his eyes going wide seeing the report and exactly what kind of ‘injuries’ they had in their lower half he wanted to cry for them he didn’t think that had happened to them someone hurt them in that way he had so many fixed emotions he felt so much anger it was almost overwhelming for him and even shame for not being there before it happened and not being there to help them and not preventing it they didn’t deserve any of it…at all..he scrolled further seeing a program he didn’t recognize letting out a small hum of confusion

“huh don’t remember that being there…”

solar quietly said muttering to himself as he opened the line of code  sitting down on the chair behind him his eyes darting from each line of code it seemed almost never ending he thought it was just a small virus oh was he wrong it was basically a parasite but in the form of a virus Solar set aside all of his piling emotions and tried to think who could do this this seemed even above dark suns level and well he already found what remained of the virus that that asshole solstice gave him it seems that after nexus was considered useless and nearly killed it seemed that solstice had removed it oddly enough Solar just groaned looking at the replacement one it was elaborate and drug into and corrupted everything of theirs, their body ,mind, feelings ,memory files, their star power, everything was altered and ruined Solar knew he would be spending hours to fully get rid of it it was fine it was all for him Solar reminded himself as much as he never said it Solar loved nexus more then just a a close friend or family friend he wanted to be with him forever he just felt so safe and calm around him even though he was technically a moon but too Solar he was never moon they were nexus they were his safe space…his crush even it was probably that he couldn’t even count the amount of times he saw himself smiling and blushing at them their smile their laugh how they talked fuck even his voice…

NOT DONE YET / THIS IS JUST A TEASER I AM AIMING FOR ABOUT 3-5 THOUSAND ON THIS CHAPTER (Maybe totally didn’t give up on this chapter)

Chapter Text

Trigger warnings!

Sa is mentioned there will be flashbacks to it

gore will be fully written out

Sh will be mentioned and described but no character will actively do it in this chapter 

Sexual and Non sexual grooming and abuse 

Age regression towards the end of the chapter (Solar is confused and doesn’t know what it’s is or what’s happening but will try and comfort them and take care of them)

Creepy and sexual jokes (made my Monty) 

Cursing

Solar stood watching Moon’s Nexus’s still body seeing the progress bar on his computer slowly inch up on progress just watching the list of injuries to their body or code pile up wincing at seeing just how badly they had been hurt Solar was expecting to have already been crying but yet again he’d already seem people die in front of him to many times but tagt didn’t mean his mind wasn’t already in panic mode his leg twitching up and down letting the bottom of his work platform boots bang against the floor sometimes even hitting the desk with his knee to focused on Nexus to even care he had already stayed up the whole night only for the progress to be at 39 fucking percent god just how fucking complex was this virus he thought as if he hadn’t already seen all of it how much it hurt and pained them how it deteriorated there body until they looked almost unrecognizable Solar thought as his hand mindlessly drifted to Nexus’s hand raising one of his eyebrows oh right he had emotion features now and tilting his head a bit at about a 35° angle (don’t ask why I went into specifics) seeing their arms covered by the now cut up and dusky and covered in their own oil black fabric gloves softly tugging them off his eyes widening as he saw the deep cuts and scars no..no they..- they promised they would get better nexus promised he wouldn’t get to that point not with Solar around he saw burn marks as well this was no accident they were cutting and burning them selves and he thought them banging their head into fucking metal walls was already bad enough he knew they weren’t doing good but he didn’t expect just how bad it had gotten their arms were filled with burns cuts and bruises Solar rolled up one side of Nexus’s pants to see more cuts and bruises the bruises didn’t seem to be of their own doing of it was that asshole wasn’t it…that fucking dark sun guy….solstice or what ever the fuck his name was..Solar sighed running another scan on their body wanting to see just how much he’d have to repair and replace god this was going to take awhile and he knew that he saw the list piling up as it loaded just how much they had hit and everything else Solar imminently froze as he saw the damage on their modesty place and their vaginal area solars fists tightened that fucking-! Solar sharply exhaled god how he wanted to tear that freak of a sun piece by piece he couldn’t even imagine his nexus had felt abandoned and fucking half conscious and already going through hell having their body and trust be violated like that Solar felt pure disgust and hatred towards him but at last he knew if he tried hurt Solstice he’d at least be killed or worse and then it be easier for him to hurt nexus again he knew nexus could defend themselves but he was scared of them trusting him as much as they tried to play the role of the smartest one who never made mistakes and could never be hurt they fell so easily for the smallest amount of affection especially when they were in this mental state Solar just winced seeing the condition nexus was left in their body broken and beaten until it barely worked  “Maybe I should make a new body for them…” Solar said thinking out loud his eyes grazing across Nexus’s body seeing the condition the cracks filled with the bright purple liquid that  coursed through like veins cracking  and breaking at their exterior casing Solar walked away from their unconscious body that was sat up resting on the desk crouching down where a cabinet was and grabbing his tool box as he was distracted with trying to get everything he need Nexus’s eyes flashed up as his body powered on “Solar..?” Nexus’s voice cracked out their voice box must have been broken their voice cracking in almost every letter in Solar’s name Solar heart almost jumped out of his body he looked back over a nexus who’s head was tilted to the side one of their eyes open while the other was closed their eye now a bright lavender instead of the blue or red that normally covered them he saw how confused the looked pausing before seeing tears well up in their eyes was it from the pain..? Or that Solar was back no Nexus didn’t care for him that much plus the whole Nexus missing him was probably just the virus or something…Solar rushed over to where nexus was which was in reality only about 7 feet away Nexus’s eyes stared at Solar their hands staying still not even bothering to wipe the streaks of black and purple tears a weak smile plastered on their face obviously still trying to ignore the pain that filled their body “Hurts..” Solar sighed as nexus said that they didn’t seem to know why everything hurt why their mind was so foggy or what had even happened over the course of what was now almost a year (timelines different then in actual TSAMS) “yeah I know Nex…” Solar could tell just a how confused and hurt they looked he paused as he saw Nexus liking around or something maybe someone..? “Where Sunny..?”  Solar tilted his head a bit before softly humming in acknowledgment of course moon was going to ask that first he cared for sun a lot “hm..? Sun is at home…he’s safe don’t worry” Solar said trying to soothe at least one of Nexus’s worries “you’ll see him in a bit once I can repair you” Solar said now starting to think about how he’ll have to tell everyone what happened what happened to nexus there wasn’t his story to share but he was sure they would want to know everything especially Moon god it going to be awkward having both here now…Nexus just softly nodded not wanting to talk as much any more Solar knew they didn’t like talk as much especially when bad stuff was happening they kinda just shutdown in a way he had been watching the channel almost on loop trying to figure out what had happen to who he used to know as ‘Moon’ and he saw just how badly the had shut down emotionally they barely talked and even when they did they were either mad or emotionless…Solar paused as he felt nexus softly hug him sure it was an awkward hug given the fact nexus was sitting on the desk and Solar was standing but he wasn’t thinking about that right now he softly hugged them back he wanted to comfort them the most he could..he knew the next mouth or even couple months were going to be hard for them especially once the memories of what happened came back to them Solar just kept a soft hold on them making sure to not to make them feel uncomfortable in any way he wasn’t the best with these kind of things but he’d try for nexus at least…

just a little teaser

Chapter Text

THIS IS JUST A TEASER FOR THE BEGINNING OF CHAPTER EIGHT 

It was almost the middle of the night and to no surprise Solar was still working on the new body for them Nexus ended up being put in sleep mode since the pain was starting to get worse for them after the artificial pain meds had worn off and the adrenaline. So far the body for Nexus was about 6,5 and a half in height just barely shorter than Solar himself the base colors of their body was purple and a muted blue and some pink stars that almost resembled freckles dusted their body.

Along with on their calves and forearms a gradient of lilac and black painted onto them their eyes could move now they were a light lilac with a black background on he right  and red each eye with off white background on the left with star highlights placed in the corners of each of them and they had fangs where the K-9 teeth would be placed oh and their mouth can open and close now.

  The base of the body was metal but there was a layer of firm but soft rubber that resembled skin. Their black with a gradient of purple towards the tip of hat draped down to half of their calf and a giant (well about 4’3)light rose gold bell at the end. Solar just put one of his old hoodies onto their new body it was originally gray but looked more black from the oil stains that refused to get off of it along with some black shorts.

It wasn’t much but Solar didn’t know or really care much when it came to clothing and he didn’t want to just have them wear the same blue jester pants with poorly sewn in stars they probably wouldn’t like it either after the whole identity crisis about not being moon if that was even them…Solar went back to his computer transferring their A.I into the body  now that he had cleared the virus from their system and coding After what felt like hours to Solar their ai had fully transferred over to the body but at last Monty had to call him for some stupid situation that they always managed to get their ass squeezed into so now nexus was left alone as his eyes lit up in a vibrant purple and blue glow

coding lines covering their eyes before they finally powered on looking around and the as empty and soulless as they remembered parts and services everything still hurt by they forced their body up and off the table…desk..? Whatever it was walking one to the doorway freezing as they heard a conversation between Solar and…Earth..? Nexus leaned against the frame of the door their joints creaking and popping into one another they listen they only words that stayed in their was 

therapy

psych ward

  well they could understand them getting therapy they still were unstable and everything felt blurry with their memory when had their body start to ache? especially in well that place…maybe it’s just the new body getting used to it an all they said ignoring the nauseous and dirty feeling the ricocheted through their body suddenly a want to hide and cover up to protect themselves they were fine now though..? He was back with his family why didn’t it feel right

why weren’t all the disgusting feelings leaving..? Nexus just paused it now just fully processing in his mind what earth was saying ‘that he was now  beyond her help’ god even eclipse wasn’t then he was just extra broken….why didn’t he try harder to talk to her before it all just got stuck in his throat when he tried Because it was always someone else had it worse or was going through something even when Solar does so tried to ask and he wasn’t mad even else was still dealing with it but not even puppet or Monty they just focused on pressuring him into overworking himself until he knew how to bring Solar back even when it was basically impossible 

he couldn’t remember much after that just a cell that was dark with one crack in the ceiling that always had a drip of water flowing out of it and dripping onto he floor and some dark castle nexus snorted a bit remembering now weird it looked but it also had a odd feeling attached to it like he guy feeling with you know something’s wrong the memory or the castle kept changing small and big changes until it made him feel dizzy and he snapped out of his thoughts and back into reality 

As soon as he finally stopped zoning out into whatever train of thought captivated his mind ‘Moon’ well he didn’t really own that name now did he? That was to think about at another time…he walked out of the room taking back in the fuzzy and nostalgic feelings and the lost and cold ones. He looked around at the spacious room of parts and services that functioned as a lobby right before the room that lead you to repairs. Then his eyes landed back on Solar and Earth everything about them both seemed dimmed and desaturated.

Earths voice more timid yet firm solars more angry and confused compared to the calm nature of them both and the loved filled conversations. It was filled with concern and fear now moon still thought there was disgust mixed in now of what nexus was and what he did and suspicion he’d go right back down that As soon as he finally stopped zoning out into whatever train of thought captivated his mind ‘Moon’ well he didn’t really own that name now did he? That was to think about at another time…he walked out of the room taking back in the fuzzy and nostalgic feelings and lost and cold ones. He looked around at the spacious room of parts and services that functioned as a lobby right be for the room that lead you to repairs. Then his eyes landed back on Solar and Earth everything about them both seemed dimmed and desaturated earths voice more timid yet firm solars more angry and confused compared to the calm nature of them both and the loved filled conversations.

It was filled with concern and fear now moon still thought there was disgust mixed in now of what nexus was and what he did and suspicion he’d go right back down that hole. He paused seeing her in a wheelchair, Had he done that? He almost killed her with star power that time…he hadn’t hurt her that badly…had he?

Chapter Text

So I have updated in I believe months to this story and that’s due to poor mental health and school stress since I have gotten into a really good school for next year I’ve been forcing myself to do perfect academically cause of that which caused me to completely forget about this especially with how nexus’s lore is currently and I’ve been getting into the Ena dream BBQ fandom recently….But good news is that this whole work will be getting a rewrite! I know that my writing has been fairly shitty due to me having adhd and typing too quick to catch mistakes and misspellings and just rushing the plot of it since this was supposed to be a slow paced Fanfic…I have finally gotten off of school for spring break so I will try and get at least 3 chapters done this week! The plot will change from what it was originally like for example it’s going to be Nexus X V4 Eclipse focused rather than Solar X Nexus. And probably some better writing of the mental issues my Au nexus will have and Sa trauma (my apologies if I represent SA wrong since I am a victim of it myself as well.) And please don’t expect professional writing from me I am a minor who simply writes as a hobby not for work and I have shitty spelling and time management.