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if the world isn't turning, your heart won't return

Summary:

this is following closely to canon from season 3 episode 7 at exactly 8:50 english dub, apart from the obvious difference of izu/bon being together. i love this show and i think this ship is heavily underrated online sooo i'm adding some content :3

aka bon saves izu from the illuminati (instead of satans spawn) and they're in love plus ryuji overthinking as all good anime protagonists do!!

focus on drama + exorcist stuffs, will have content warnings at start of chapters ofc i haven't rlly planned this properly just going along with canon until i dont ig!!

i've ended it for now however if you guys want more pls ask and i will bc i love this story!!!!

Chapter 1: the girl he would live for

Chapter Text

Since the moment they discovered that Izumo was planned to uphold the power of Nine Tails, Ryuji Suguro had done nothing but think about her, and how they were going to save her from its wrath and impotent death. With the betrayal of Renzou and the knowledge of her being imprisoned and tortured, Ryuji couldn’t eat, he could barely sleep, and he couldn’t talk and laugh with his friends. He was being near tormented and felt guilt-ridden for not knowing about Renzou. If he knew, then perhaps he could’ve protected Izumo better, even if she refused the need for protection. At least they had formulated a plan now, acting as a comfortable escape for Ryuji – as if everything and everyone would be alright if they followed the plan. They were to locate the Illuminati and therefore Izumo and try to break her out. And if someone had to die for this plan to work, that would have to happen.

Now, they were about to break in, and his nerves were completely flattened by the idea of being able to see Izumo again. She’d been gone for almost two weeks now, and he missed her pretty face. Now, they were crouched behind a bush, ready to take down the Illuminati guards in front of the place they were keeping Izumo, or so they thought.

“Is everybody ready?” Yukio Okumura asked, looking between his students, and then at Rin, “You’ve got to listen to me, Rin, I am your commander.”

Rin nodded and opened his mouth to (probably) say something stupid. “Just a nod will suffice.” Rin nodded, though pouted childishly. Ryuji mustered up the strength to add, “If you do anything to ruin the plan, I will kill you myself, got that Satan boy?” Once again, he nodded, not wanting to piss off his brother in this moment.

“Save that energy for the battle, Suguro.” Yukio ordered, giving him a curt nod. “Alright… You two first, then Suguro and then me. Miwa stay here with Shiemi, then you two come out when we’ve dealt with these guards.”

Everyone nodded at the plan and set it into motion. Soon, Suguro was standing in line with the other boys, and they were poised ready for attack.

“What are you kids doing here?” One of the guards spat, pulling out his rapier ready to defend this building with his life. Ryuji heard Yukio whisper into Rin’s ear, “Go easy on them, they’re just human…” which made Ryuji slightly infuriated. Izumo was ‘just’ human too, yet they were abusing her and using her for their own gain… The Illuminati were scum who deserved to die, especially to Satan’s flames. At least he could utilise his anger in this battle.

Rin nodded and practically growled as he pulled out his sword and his blue flames danced circles around them, though they were never hot around Rin’s friends.

“Satan Slash!” He yelled as he charged at the guards and aimed both his sword and his flames at the guards. Satan Slash? What kind of goofy name for an attack is that? Ryuji thought, and for the first time in over two weeks, he suppressed a chuckle. Following the first two guards being knocked to the floor by Rin’s flames, two more being crushed by Kuro and Yukio shooting wildly, Ryuji leaped forward and used all his might to swipe two guards with his Bazooka, “Get out of my way!” He yelled, emotion coursing through each word as he pictured Izumo’s face.

Everything about her was appealing to him. Her appearance, her traits, her nature, her tsundere act, her voice… She was perfect, a goddess walking among them. And though it might seem like they were in a committed relationship, both were yet to talk about what they were. Their non-existent label was exactly that. They were themselves. They’d spent many nights together, and still upheld their academic rivalry, they rarely thought about a real label, and weren’t fussed when they did.

“And that’s that…” Rin said as they looked down upon the guards writhing on the floor in pain. “Let’s get inside…”

“You call that attack… Satan Slash?” He pointed out, laughing loudly and crudely, for the first time in weeks.

“Shut your ass! If you don’t like that it’s called that, go talk to Shura!” Rin immediately yelled childishly, scowling as he pointed and defended himself while they began to head inside the building.

Around them, they quickly found, was not in fact an Illuminati base, but a simple mall. The music around them sang of Inari’s peace and happiness, which was quite the binary opposite of how eerie the place felt without anybody here. The whole place seemed abandoned, despite the bright lights and lively feel of all the shops nearby. It looked like a regular mall, but everything about their mission and their prior knowledge made it seem like a hellscape.

“It’s a shopping mall…?” Yukio pointed out the obvious, though it was more a question. Why the hell was this just a regular looking shopping centre? Where was Izumo? He gulped down the desire to yell out her name and dash off to find her – but that would be dangerous, not only for himself but for the whole mission.

“Where’d all the other people go…? I don’t see a sign of them, or anymore of the Illuminati. Or Izumo… Or Renzou…” He pointed out, trying not to make it obvious how scared he was for Izumo.

Rin’s face said it all, “They’re here… Something definitely is. Watch your backs.” Konekomaru and Shiemi looked equally as afraid as the latter raised her voice, “Are you sensing something, Rin…?”

Ryuji knew that Shiemi cared very deeply about each member of the team, however she had a strong affinity for Izumo, and he knew that she wanted Izumo to be safe almost as much as he did. Almost.

“Maybe this isn’t even a real mall…” Koneku added, causing them all to look around to discover any discrepancies. Yukio spoke up, “Stay calm everyone. This commotion may cost the mission – the enemy is coming. So, let’s look for a way underground and try not to get separated. Boy was that dramatic foreshadowing.

After a few moments of them searching for a trapdoor, an elevator or a simple gap, Ryuji practically jumped out of his skin as he heard Yukio’s gun fire three shots. He looked at Koneku before walking over to the others with haste.

“What happened…? Oh, a ghoul!” The shorter boy stated, eyes wide as he looked upon the creature.

“We heard it trying to say something, so it has to be a zombie.” Koneku explained the differences between a ghoul and a zombie, mainly for Rin who clearly hadn’t been paying any attention in class. The main thing was that zombies were much harder to kill, meaning if anymore appeared, they’d be in for one hell of a fight.

Crouching down, Konekomaru read out the nametag, or number tag… “Test subject number 6411… That means someone turned him into thi- ah!” He yelled, leaping back as the zombie seemed to convulse and throw up blood.

“Konekomaru! Are you alright!?” Ryuji yelled, making the shorter boy whimper in terror, “Yeah…”

“Uh, you guys…!” Shiemi pointed, sounding utterly terrified and slightly out of her depth as the rest of the group looked to the left. Before them, was an entire hoard of zombies, all covered in blood and hobbling like the corpses they were. They all grumbled and groaned, focusing on the same thing – they were hungry.

“Where’d all those come from…?” Rin questioned, everyone’s faces showing an equal level of surprise.

“Mr Okumura!” Koneku shouted, pointing over to the zombie they’d already dealt with. It was slowly but surely rising from the ground, lifting its head despite having had its brain blown out by Yukio’s bullets.

“What’s going on…?” Yukio whimpered, even he sounded out of his depth, which filled Ryuji with worry and dread. If even Yukio was afraid, what were the ex-wires supposed to do? He cleared his throat, clearing remembering he was in the position of authority, “We must find the entrance to the lab… Now!”

They all began heading in the same direction, one they hadn’t yet been in. But before long, the zombies were coming from every angle, blocking any route they could take. “Aw, crap! They’ve got us surrounded!” Ryuji exclaimed, terror spiking each of his words.

“We’ll have to cut a path through them.” Yukio ordered, his face stern and his mind clearly running like clockwork.

“Locked and loaded over here – just say the word.” Ryuji said, holding his rocket launcher up onto his shoulder, ready to blast his way through. Anything for Izumo. He’d physically do anything – possible or otherwise – to get Izumo safe in his arms.

“That’s too risky, Bon… If they’re on fire, they can burn us… If Okumura used his flames though, he’d be able to burn straight through them.” Ryuji grumbled in defeat. Always count on Rin and his ungodly abilities, never me.

“I don’t know…” He hesitated, making Yukio look over at his brother, “It’s the only way, Rin… There’s no room for hesitation right now.”

Suddenly, the ground opened beneath them, dropping them into an inverted metal cone. They slid down the walls, everyone yelling in confusion as they were swallowed into the deep dark pits of hell. And everyone was split up…

“Is anyone there…?” Ryuji yelled, shining his flashlight around the metal chamber. All alone. “I-Izumo?!” He attempted feebly, not expecting any good results. The metal walls around him, and the floor beneath were covered in blood stains and splatters, making his body force down a gulp to avoid retching. “Damnit… I’m all alone, they dropped us in different places… Fuck…” He spoke aloud, desperate to fill the sickening silence with familiarity.

He was left in complete silence for a few moments, his mind whirring with all kinds of thoughts. I can’t die, who will save Izumo if I die? I must get out of here… I must find a way, please… God, anyone will do… Please…

Then, completely shattering the silence came a loud grumble before a splat against the floor. A huge monster fell from the ceiling and landed before him with a murderous roar, towering above him at 15 feet tall. It stunk of rotting meat, dark red blood seeping out of its pores and extremities and only adding to the life-ending stench, though as an exorcist Ryuji must admit he was used to wicked smells, sights and even accidental tastes. It grumbled so loudly that the floor rumbled beneath his feet, making his body unfreeze and snap into action. Ryuji pulled his bazooka from his side and onto his broad shoulder, ready to shoot at it. Catching sight of it’s face, he physically recoiled, “Is that thing supposed to be a zombie!? Holy shit!” He yelled before firing a rocket into the direction of its heart, if it even still had one. He pressed his heels into the ground to avoid being knocked away from the force of his weapon and whimpered as the creature groaned in pain, or anger, it was hard to tell.

“I… want to… go… ho-ome!” The monster growled, making Ryuji think harder about a way to kill this thing. It… It must still think it’s human, I’ve got to show it that it’s as far from human as something could possibly be. How on earth do I do that…? I’d need a mirror… or something else reflective. Like water! I’ve got this!

Ever since middle school, Ryuji had his mind set on becoming both an Aria and a Dragoon, and even when both Konekomaru and Renzou questioned his decisions, saying that he’d struggle to recall fatal verses while still fighting, or that he was too weak and lanky to carry a rocket launcher. So, everyday he trained to up his physical ability and concentration skills and now he was glad to be able to use the bazooka in battle. He forced the ammo into the barrel and aimed it, planning on which fatal verse he would use to summon the water-ess familiar and show the monster its reflection through a puddle. Shooting the bazooka near the zombie, he began reciting the fatal verse, eyes focussed on the ammo as it shot through the air.

“I want to go home!” The creature kept repeating, clearly desperate and abused. Ryuji watched as the bullet turned into the water goddess and cast out a wall of reflective water. Once the creature looked at its reflection and saw what it had become, it’s eyes widened, for once almost resembling as much emotion as a human withheld.

“You’re never going home again!” He told it, feeling slightly bad for the creature who was once just a regular human, probably having no idea about demons, ghouls and exorcism. The creature collapsed to the ground, its heart clearly stopping pumping as it realised who it had become. And that was that. But Ryuji was stuck in place, his heels pressed into the ground as a seemingly random memory develop in the forefront of his mind…

He was walking home from school, the first grade, with Renzou, his two older brothers Juuzou and Kinzou and Konekomaru. He was walking beside Juuzou, who embarrassed him by calling him Bon.

“Do you have to call me that…?” He whined, as a young boy would.

“Would you rather be called Lord Ryuji?” The elder boy teased, making the little boy grumble under his breath, accepting that Bon was better than Lord. Then Juuzou went on, “You’re very important to the Myó Dha Sect. You’re the hinge, Bon.”

“What’s a hinge…?” The little boy asked, eyes wide as he looked up to Juuzou, whom he saw as his own older brother.

“It’s like… an electric fan without the middle screw. It won’t work without it. You are just as important as that middle screw, Bon. Everyone in the Myó Dha Sect needs you. Do you understand?”

After that day, I trained hard every day to prove myself as the hinge. I ensured I was strong enough and helped around the Sect every day, doing odd jobs and heavy lifting. Additionally, when I thought my father was slacking off, I knew I had to be the one to confront him about it, otherwise I wouldn’t have been doing my job as the hinge.

“Give it up son, no matter how hard you work… Everyone moves on eventually…” His father had told him. The feeling left in his chest after hearing that, was eerily similar to when Koneko had yelled at him,

“Will you stop trying to be the leader!? Give someone else a chance for a change!”

Don’t they need me anymore? If I’m not needed, then what am I to live for?

Then, another memory, another face appeared in his mind. None other than Izumo Kamiki, the girl he would die for… But, more importantly, the girl he would live for.

“Oh, so you want to defeat Satan. If you’re trying to make me laugh, at least tell a better joke!” She had sneered, though the slight pull of her upper lip told him everything he needed to know. That the night before that, laid in his bed after consummating their love for the first time, she had vowed to stick by him on his quest to get revenge, with the only rule being for him to not die doing it.

Snapping him back to reality, his thoughts shifted onto Renzou. His best friend since before he could even remember. How could he do this? How could he betray everyone like this, including by capturing Izumo, knowing how much it would physically hurt her, and emotionally damage him? Why? Things can’t go back to normal after this, and he wondered if he’d ever get to see Renzou again. He knew he wanted to punch him across the face without mercy, but he also desperately wanted to hug him and call him and idiot and tell him he loved him.

“Alright, enough thinking, Ryuji… Go and get her.” He instructed himself, trying to pull himself out of his own cursed mind.

Remember, I’m doing this for her. To save her life and tell her I love her.

“I’m on my way, little Fox… I’m on my way.”