Archive of Our Own ^beta

He didn't know where he was when he finally stopped, chest heaving. The urge to bend over and catch his breath was strong, but a voice that sounded suspiciously like Bruce told him that would be counterproductive so he raised his hands to his head and kept his chest open. He took in his surroundings as he did. He realized he was somewhere in the financial district, a good 5 miles from the warehouse he'd been at. He didn't see any danger or anyone following him, so he allowed himself to relax slightly. He walked to the ledge and sat down heavily reaching for the latch of his helmet. Gingerly, he took it off and placed it down beside him.

“Damn” Jason thought, “I could go for a cigarette.”

His hand reached for the pouch he kept his pack in but found only gum. Damn it, Alfred must have found them the last time he was at the cave.

‘Deep breaths’ a voice that was definitely Alfred said in his head. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath holding it for 4 seconds before releasing it.The clown's laughter was still echoing in his head.

Breathe in.

“ HAHAHA”

Hold.

“Oh look, The Little Bird broke its wings.”

Breathe out

Smack

In.

“Come here Uncle J will help. ”

Hold.

Crunch

Out.

“HAHAHA”

In.

“HAHAHAHA”

Hold.

“HAHAHAHA”

Out.

“Little Wing-”

Before he'd even registered who was standing behind him Jason had a gun out and pointed at the intruder. When his brain caught up with his body and he realized it was just Dick, he lowered the weapon.

“Jesus Wing, don't sneak up on me like that.” Jason clicked the safety back on and put the gun in his holster. He resisted the urge to bring his hand to his chest and calm his racing heart. It was just Dick, just his older brother coming to check why he had raced out of that warehouse so fast he hadn’t even taken the time to warn anybody.

“Sorry Jay, I thought I’d made enough noise with my approach” Dick said with a tilt of his head that told Jason that he was concerned as to why Jason hadn’t heard him. Damn, he must have been deep in his head. Dick was still staring at him with concern and Jason didn’t know how to deal with that at the moment so instead he thought to change the subject.

“No names in the field, Dick. What would the big bad bat think?” 

Dick was rolling his eyes, Jason was sure despite only being able to see the whites of the domino he had on. 

“You know that joke stopped being funny around the fourth time you used it.” Dick said as he made to sit down next to Jason. He looked pointedly out at the skyline, giving Jason a chance to try and shake off the persistent paranoia he was still feeling. When he finally looked at his brother again he was holding out a protein bar to him. 

“You know I’m an adult and can feed myself.” Jason said as he took the offered bar and took a bite. “Actually I can feed myself better than you can! The demon brat said you only had instant noodles and cereal in your cupboards last time he was at your place.” 

Dick took the bait. He dramatically brought a hand to his chest like he was in an old Hollywood movie and had just been shot. “Little Wing, I’m wounded! I’ll have you know I am perfectly capable of feeding myself. And I told Baby Bat that I just hadn’t been to the store recently.” 

Jason snorted as he finished the last of his snack. “Whatever helps you sleep better at night, Wing. 

Jason realized his unintentional pun a second too late. Dick turned to look at him with a shit eating grin on his face, half a protein bar shoved in his mouth. “Little Wing-” He said, slightly muffled from the protein bar, “-I’m so proud of you! I knew you still had that Robin humor in you!” 

Dick threw his arm around Jason bringing him in for a side hug that Jason grimaced his way through. He was about to retort with some witty comment about how Dick still had the humor of a 9 year old when he was assaulted with a memory. 

Everything hurts. He could feel multiple broken bones and blood seeping into his vision. He just had to hold on. Batman will be here soon. His dad would be here and save him. He felt a foot collide with his ribs and held back a scream. He couldn’t stop it completely, and a strangled noise left his mouth. 

“Now birdie” He could see the stupid clown’s face peering down at him with that fucking crowbar still held in his hands. “Where’s that witty sense of humor? Hmmm, I haven’t heard a single quip out of you in at least 5 minutes.” The clown kicked his ribs again and he couldn’t hold back a scream this time. “Now, now little bird, give me a joke.” 

“Hood” 

Another Kick, another scream. “Come on I just wanted a little humor!” 

“HOOD” 

Kick, Scream. “Where’s that Robin Humor. Huh? I thought the boy wonder could make a pun out of anything!” 

“JASON!” 

He flung himself forward, and would have fallen right off the building if Dick didn’t have a death grip on his shoulders. He realized he had his arms wrapped around his ribs, like he had been trying to protect them, and that his breathing was fucked up again. 

Dick hadn’t let go of him and had instead started to slowly pull Jason towards him, giving him time, if he didn’t want to be held right now, to pull back. From what he could see of Dick’s face, he was expecting Jason to pull back. 

Jason thought about it for a second. He usually didn’t like much physical contact after a memory like that. After his time with the league he had come to associate physical contact with something bad. But… fuck it. He was about two seconds from having a panic attack, he’d had two flashbacks to the worst day of his life today, and, while he would never admit it to him, Dick gave some of the best hugs. 

Dick seemed surprised for only a second when Jason leaned into him, and buried his face into Dick’s shoulder. After that second, he simply pulled Jason closer and squeezed him just the right amount to ground him. Jason took deep calming breaths, following Alfred’s voice in his head. He felt Dick bring a hand up to his hair and start soothing him, speaking softly. 

“It’s ok littlewing. I’ve got you. You're here with me. We’re in Gotham. It’s just you and me on a rooftop. I’ve got you. It’s ok.” 

It took Jason a moment to realize that at some point he had started crying. There were tears seeping out from under his domino. Part of him wanted to rip it off his face, but the rational part of his brain kept him from compromising his identity. 

He took one last deep breath and pulled back from his big brother. He scraped a hand down his face, trying to erase any trace of tears. 

Dick placed a soothing hand on his back, moving it in gentle circles, and for a moment Jason was 12 again, and it wasn’t Nightwing comforting him but Batman. 

“Do you wanna talk about it.” Dick’s voice was soft, like he was afraid if he spoke too loudly he would spook Jason. ‘Which was a valid concern’, Jason thought. He didn’t like being vulnerable with his family. 

Jason shook his head but didn’t move away. “It’s nothing, just- just a bad day.” His mind flashed back to the warehouse in the harbor district from earlier tonight. “There was a…a thug coming up behind Robin. Da-Demon brat didn’t see him and the asshole had a bat.” Jason hadn’t even thought before he had put a rubber bullet into the thug’s shoulder. Damian had turned at the sound and landed a solid kick to the guy's stomach, but it had been enough to trigger the remnants of the pit within him. He had high tailed it out of there, scared of what might happen if he stuck around. 

Dick made an aborted motion like he wanted to pull Jason back into his arms, but thought better of it. “We’re all allowed to have bad days, LittleWing. We were just worried about you.” 

Jason couldn’t stop the small scoff as he heard ‘we’. He didn’t doubt that Dick had been worried. Dick worried about everyone. He also knew that Tim had probably at least been concerned. The two of them had grown closer since Tim had shown up one evening at his apartment and confessed that Jason was his favorite brother. But he highly doubted that Damian had even thought twice about his flight from the warehouse and Bruce’s only concern was if he was about to go on another killing spree. 

Dick made a face like he was reading Jason’s mind. Jason braced himself for a lecture, but instead Dick silently reached into a hidden pocket and handed him his extra comm unit. 

“You turned yours off.” Jason hadn’t even realized he had done that on his race away from the harbor. “Just listen.” 

Jason reluctantly put the comm in his ear and was immediately met with the sounds of his family all asking questions. It was overwhelming and impossible to pick out what exactly they were saying. Finally Dick spoke up. 

“Nightwing here.” 

All the voices quieted and the silence stretched for about 10 seconds before a voice that was decidedly more Bruce then Batman spoke. 

“Did you find him? Is he hurt?” 

And didn’t that throw Jason for a loop. He had expected Batman to be demanding his position, his mental state, and instead he was met with a voice that he could only call ‘Dad’ in his mind. 

Dick glanced at Jay before speaking. 

“Yeah I found him. He’s fine, B just needed to get some fresh air.” He heard a sigh of relief from the comm and wondered who had let it out. He had a sneaking suspicion it was Bruce. 

“Will Todd be coming back to the cave? Pennyworth has made refreshments including those god awful sugar monstrosities he enjoys.”  And there was Damian, who sounded like he was also somehow relieved that Jason was ok. He had even remembered that Alfie’s sugar cookies were his favorite, despite the fact that Jason could count on one hand he had been in the cave at the same time as Damian. 

Dick glanced over at him as if asking him his response. As much as Jason was now craving one of those cookies he didn’t think he could handle being in the cave right now. Someone had finally convinced Bruce to remove the shrine to his battered Robin Costume, but still. It was all too fresh on his mind right now to be in the same room as Batman and Robin. He shook his head and Dick nodded. 

“I don’t think so Baby bat.” Jason heard a squawk of protest from Damian and a snort that had to be Tim listening in. “We’re gonna call it a night, but I’ll make sure Hood gets home safe alright?” He heard two affirmative noises and knew that it was the robins acknowledging that Dick would stick to his word. Jason thought about ways to shake Dick off his tale so he could go home without an overbearing shadow when he heard another voice in his borrowed comm. 

“Dick” and that voice was all Bruce. It didn’t hold a hint of Batman. Even Dick looked surprised for a second as he brought his hand up to the comm. “Yeah Dad?” and now Jason knew Dick was surprised by the tone of voice. Jason knew that DIck and Bruce had always had a complicated relationship, especially around the word ‘dad’. Dick usually only called Bruce that when he was hurt or really caught off guard. “Sorta like you.” a voice said in Jason’s head that he immediately shut up. 

“Let him know we’re here for him. If he needs us….If…If he wants us to be.” And god wasn’t that a kick in the ribs. For the second time tonight Jason found himself curling in on himself to protect against a phantom blow. Dick looked over at Jason again and put a hand on his shoulder, giving him his silent support. 

“I will Dad. Nightwing out.” 

Jason slowly took the comm out of his ear and handed it back to Dick. How had his night turned out like this. He closed his eyes and took a calming breath, finding the only voice in his head to be his own. 

“You ready to go?” Jason looked up and found Dick holding out his hand to help Jason stand. Jay took it, pulling himself up and picking up his helmet, finally placing it back on his head. He was grateful for the shield as Dick waited for him to make the next move. 

“There’s no way I can convince you to leave me alone for the rest of the night is there?” Jason asked, already knowing the answer. Knowing that deep down he was happy to have his big brother's company, knew that Dick’s generally joyful presence would help chase away his demons for tonight.

Dick grinned widely at him and reached for his grappling hook already heading for the edge of the roof in the direction of Jason’s apartment. 

“Nope. Your stuck with me Little Wing.” And with a running leap and infectious laugh he launched himself off the roof. 

Jason let himself smile behind his mask before following his older brother.