Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

How did this happen? What the hell actually happened.

Five doesnt know.

Was it all some sort of joke? Some… False life? Five isn't schizophrenic. He knows he isn't. He knows . 

It was real… It has to be real. Luther. Diego. Allison. Klaus. Vanya… Ben… 

Schizophrenia wouldn't do that… Wouldn't create a whole life, a traumatic life, only to kill one of his siblings… Right?

Delusions are a brain’s escape… Five’s brain wouldn't do that. Intrusive, impulsive thoughts, maybe. But a brain wouldn't be able to traumatize itself like that… Right…? 

No. 

There's no time for this. This… Doubt.

But isn't there? Where would you go? You're stuck. Now what Five?

Yeah. Five.

Five Hargreeves. Not… Nicky Harper.

Because Nicky Harper doesn't know what starvation feels like. What killing feels like. What dying feels like. Because he's a kid. An actual child. Not even old enough to know what good scotch tastes like. He must be, seeing as the Harpers treat Five as if he were an innocent young boy.

And isn't that laughable. Him, Five Hargreeves, treated as though he were innocent. As though he were… Delicate. As though a wrong word would affect his emotions and leave him a soft crying kid.

It's… Nice. Humiliating. Pathetic. A waste of time. But nice. Nice to not be the one herding cats away from the end of the world. Nice to have stupid little problems that everyone treats like a bigger deal than they are. Nice to eat a home cooked meal. Nice to have an actual bed, even if it is in a cramped room with his counterpart’s brothers. Nice.

It's a waste of time, is what it is. 

He's stuck. Here, sometime before 2019. Is this the same timeline..? Will the world end for these people too? This stupid little family with their silly little drama and with Five's face plastered on the walls? Are they doomed because of his failure?

Stop. No thinking about that. They aren’t your family. They aren’t the ones you almost died for. They don’t deserve to die though.

These people love Nicky. They love their sweet child with Five's face and voice.

But it's not him. He knows it's not him. Because this timeline doesn't even have public records of the Umbrella Academy. It doesn't exist. And neither do any records of powered individuals. Malcontents. That's what Reginald said. God. The meeting seems so long ago now…

Five Hargreeves has powers. He can jump through space and time. He glows. His hands and chest and eyes can glow… He knows. Five checked, just in case it was in his head. It wasn’t. He checked his own body. The scars are there. The shrapnel, the old scars from the academy days, the burns and cuts for so long ago. 

It’s all there still. He didn’t steal a child’s body at least.

Nicky Harper is an innocent child with no powers and Five’s face. 

Which is fine. It’s fine. 

But what the hell is going on. This doesn’t seem to be the original timeline, but where is everyone else? 

They’re not dead, they can’t be. They held onto the briefcase just like… Like Five did. 

But Five glitched. 

His powers, time travel, had been out of whack since the day the Handler died for good and Lila disappeared from the timeline. And he glitched. 

Fifty years. Alone and away from the ones he swore to save. Fifty years and he fucking glitched. He was in arms length of getting everything home from the sixties, and he fucking glitched. And now it’s back to square one. Alone with the knowledge and left with only calculations. At least this time his family knows he’s alive. 

Are they alive…?

Was everyone else okay..? 

Or did he bring them with him again, to some new unfamiliar timeline without any Academy and without a way back..?

Five doesn’t have the briefcase.

He doesn’t know where it is. He doesn’t know if his siblings have it. He doesn’t know where or when they are and Five Hargreeves doesn’t know where he is. He knows when. But he doesn’t know where. Is this some sort of killed off timeline? Is Nicky Harper who he could have been? Or is this some form of alternate universe entirely? Can he even get back if it is?

… 

He doesn’t know.

He doesn't know anymore.

Dawn is having a friend over. Ricky and Dicky are fighting over the television or some other high tech gadget. Tom is… Well, Five never really knows what Tom is doing, but he’s almost positive that the man has some form of undiagnosed autism, so Tom isn't too much of a worry. Gets side tracked very easily. And Anne is in the kitchen making meatloaf.

He's been here for three days. They're not spies or Commission people. Just a nuclear family and their dog.

The family is… odd. But Five isn’t really one to be the judge of what a normal family looks like, so it might just be odd to him. 

The entire lot is both incredibly perceptive, but also comically oblivious.

They know something is different. They think Nicky is having a hard time making other friends at school. 

The children don’t understand why Nicky is pulling away from their juvenile fighting and silly shenanigans. They figure he’ll come back around. He won’t, Five won’t, at least. It’s tiring to be involved in such ludicrously domestic yet stupid conversations. He’s eternally grateful that the children’s school year doesnt start again for another month yet. The parents would no doubt try to force him to attend. Completely useless. 

They can’t understand why he’s acting differently. Anne and Tom think that Nicky is trying to distinguish himself from his siblings. 

They don’t know where he disappears off to so often. They don’t push. Growing boys need some space after all.

He’s in the vents. In a literal sense, not the odd internet way Klaus likes to joke about, Five is literally up in the vents. The family knows about the vents, but they’re obviously not fully explored.

Five brings a marshmallow and peanut butter sandwich, a flashlight. and a sharpie up into the vents, and continues his calculations.

He needs to find his real family. And, hopefully, return the Harper child that shares his face to this one.

Chapter Text

Nicky isn’t crazy. He knows he isn't! So what in the name of the Quadfather is going on!

The big one is yelling at him! The scary one with a knife is threatening Nicky, and the flight, fight, or freeze instinct has turned him into a possum for the time being. 

He’s going to cry.

Why are all these people yelling at him? 

The skinny guy is staring at Nicky like he doesn’t know him, which is fair, cuz Nicky doesn’t know that man either! The tall dark skinned woman is calling him a liar, that he said he could get them home.

He doesn’t even know where these people live! He wants to go home! But he doesn’t know where he is now, surrounded by these people that just fist fought a group of, apparently, superheroes in some random mansion! 

Nicky wants to go home. This is weird and scary and nothing like what happens in the comics and on TV! These people are scary and the random woman who lived in that house actually tried to drop Nicky off the balcony! One of the other guys had tentacles coming out of his tummy!

And now these other people are all yelling at him and calling him names and blaming him for not fighting but Nicky doesn’t even know how to fight or where he is or why they keep calling him ‘five’.

He wants to go home. He wants Ricky and Dicky and Dawn and Squishy Paws and he wants his Mom and Dad.

The people are all staring at him now. But they aren’t yelling anymore, so that’s good. 

He’s crying.

Nicky knows he shouldn’t cry. He’s a big kid now. Big kids don’t cry.

But he’s scared and he wants his Mom.

These people were just going to watch when that woman said she’d throw him off the banister. She was the one who realized something was wrong and let him down slowly. 

These people just yelled at him to hurry up and be useful.

Nicky doesn’t like these people. They’re scary and they’re loud and they were going to let him fall and die.

The tears won’t stop and Nicky can’t breathe. 

He wants to go home.

He wants his mom.

The tall woman leaps forward at Nicky and he can’t help but bodily flinch away from her. 

He wants to go home!

“Five..?”

Why do they keep calling him that! What does that even mean!?

Nicky shakes his head hard. The tears won’t stop. That’s not his name.

The others are whispering.

He doesn’t like this.

The dark skinned woman raises her hands like Nicky is a scared animal. He is scared. She’s right.

When she slowly comes closer, the possum instincts won’t let Nicky move away.

The tears won’t stop!

She hugs him. Slowly, gently. Like he’s made of glass. He feels like she’s right.

Nicky hugs back, body shaking from the tears. 

“I j-just wanna g-go home-!” 

The others flinch at the wail that tears it’s way out of Nicky’s throat.

He doesn’t care. This woman is warm and isn’t yelling anymore and she’s hugging him and rubbing his back like she’s trying to protect him from the others. Like she’s trying to protect him from the world.

She feels like a mom. She’s warm and comfortable like a mom. 

Nicky tells her as much, a hiccup in his voice.

She flinches. Nicky almost doesn’t notice. He buries his face in her shoulder.

It’s warm. It feels safe. For now, Nicky lets himself fall asleep. Maybe when he wakes up again, this will all have been a bad dream. 

Maybe when he wakes up, he’ll be home with his family. Maybe this will all have been a dream and he didn’t actually almost die.

The tears finally stop. His breathing evens out. It’s warm. It feels safe.

Nicky just wants to go home.

Chapter Text

“Hey guys, do you know what’s going on with Nicky?”

“What? What do you mean?”

Ah. Finally, someone else is bringing it up. Good. It’s not like it’s been bugging Ricky at all or anything. Nope.

“He’s been so quiet. And like… Really deadpan. Usually when he gets like that he thinks he’s won something. But I can’t think of anything that’s happened recently for him to be so smug about.”

What? No. No, no, no, no! That’s what Dawn means? No!

Ricky can’t keep the scoff out of his voice, “What are you talking about! There’s way more wrong than just Nicky acting smug!”

Silence. Then Dicky squints at Ricky. “Dude. What, are you still mad because he peeled the name labels a off some of your shirts?”

“What? No. Of course not. Shut up.”

“Wait, Nicky did what?”

“Oh yeah, decided he didn’t like his own style anymore and stole some of Ricky’s good button ups. Peeled the name labels off the collars and everything.”

“Okay, yes, I’m mad about that too. But that’s not what I mean! He corrected my math !”

“…”

“… What?”

“I know! I was doing some calculations for fun-“

“Dude… Why would you do that..?”

“Not now Dicky! I was enjoying some math and he walked by and looked over my shoulder! Then he patted my back and told me to rework the problem because I made a mistake!!”

“See, smug! I don’t get it, why is he acting like-”

“No, Dawn! You’re not listening to me! Nicky, our brother. Who isn’t nearly as smart as me-”

“Hey, that’s just rude.”

“CORRECTED MY MATH! And he was right. I messed up the factoring and I had the wrong answer. He corrected me.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Something’s wrong with Nicky.”

“Totally. But what are we even going to do? Tell mom and dad? Would they even believe us?”

“…I don’t know. We don’t know what’s going on with him, so we can’t fix it. But it needs to be fixed. He can’t be the smart quadruplet, I’m the smart quadruplet!”

“Where even is he? He’s never around anymore. He’s been acting weird for days.”

“Good question. He never hangs out with us anymore. And he’s never in the room!”

“I know! Where does he even go!”

“Wait, wait, wait. Nicky doesn’t hide out in your room? That’s where mom and dad think he’s been going! If he’s not there, where is he then?”

“Wait, if he’s not in the room right now, and we’re out here, where even is he?”

“…Dicky, that’s what Dawn just- no, nevermind. We don’t know where he is. He’s just been. Disappearing.”

“…Hm… Quadle up!”

“…”

“… We can’t. We don’t have a full quadle.”

“Oh, uh, right… Okay, forget the quadle, Operation: Find Nicky’s Hiding Spot, is a go!”

“Oh sweet, this one actually feels like a spy mission!”

“I’ll check the attic, you guys scour the house down here.”

“Will do commander!”

“Reconvene in the living room in twenty minutes!”

”Go Harpers, go!”

“…”

“Okay, what the fuck was that?”

“Did we just break Five..?”

“What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck-”

“Shut up! All of you!” Allison hisses through her teeth, cradling her littler older brother against her body. “He’s asleep.”

“That’s not Five.”

Silence. Then everyone slowly turns to look at Klaus.

“Dude. I thought you were sober now?”

“Diego!”

“Oh my god Diego! You can’t just say that!”

“Stop.” A softer voice calls, stepping forward into the circle. Vanya looks back and forth between Klaus and the little (not?) Five. “What do you mean, that’s not Five?”

“I mean that’s not Five! Numero Cinco, our brother, is always followed by some really specific ghosts! That kid has absolutely no ghosts what so ever!”

“I thought you said that ghosts couldn’t time travel?”

“I lied. Vanya knows. She saw Ben. But that’s all besides the point! That’s not Five! That’s just some random kid we kidnapped!”

“Wait, you lied about Ben not coming with us?!”

“Yes Luther, keep up. Both Vanya and Diego knew about it.”

“… You guys knew and didn’t tell me? What happened to Team Zero?”

“Luther! Drop it! We have bigger problems!”

“Yeah, like those rejects who took our place!”

“… But wouldn’t that make us the rejects?”

“No! No, no, no, no, you bunch of idiots! Problems like the fact that we lost our brother ! Again! Because, I’m telling you, that’s not Five! ”

“…Are you sure? He looks like-”

“Luther! When was the last time you saw Five cry? Ever? Because I never have! Or how about the fact that he didn’t do any fighting back at the academy, and didn’t blink away even once! That’s not Five!”

“…”

“Then…”

“Then who the hell is this.”

“Oh my god, we lost Five again…”

“Peanut butter! I need peanut butter and marshmallows! Oh my god it’s happening again!”

Chapter Text

”Okay Harpers! Anyone find him?”

“Nope!” 

“Me either, it’s like he disappeared!”

“He didn’t leave the house, did he?”

“No, mom got mad because he disappeared to the library for hours the other day, and didn’t come home till dark, remember?”

“Yeah, isn’t he grounded or something?”

“Well if he hasn’t left the house, where is he!”

“I checked our room, the bathroom, and mom and dads room. No sign of him.”

“Well I checked the kitchen, the other bathroom, the kitchen again, the pantry, and the backyard.”

“Not a contest, but good. I checked the attic, the guest room, my room, and the back porch.”

“And no one knows where he went?”

“He’s not here.”

“Well where else would he be! There’s nowhere else to hide, right!?”

This is wrong. Something is wrong with Nicky. He never likes being alone. And now no one can find him? What’s going on. Where is he?!

“…If I was a Nicky, where would I hide.”

“Well I don’t know about Nicky, but the vents were a pretty good hiding place for all my trains.”

At the sound of the new voice, three heads snap over to stare at the gloriously oblivious Tom Harper. Then three voices ring out in revelation, startling their father.

“ The VENTS! ”

Tom can only watch in confusion and bewilderment as three of his four children take off in a charge up the stairs. 

“You’re welcome!” He calls after them. “Jeez, first it’s just one disrespectful kid, now it’s all of them. What am I doing wrong?”

When Nicky wakes up again, it isn’t to the sound of his brother's snoring. It isn’t to the sound of Dawn hatching a scheme for the day. It's not to the sound of his family starting off the morning with breakfast.

It’s to an awkward shuffling sound and muttered words around him. The bed he lays on is uncomfortable and springs stab him in the back as he lays. But he won’t move. 

Because he’s still dreaming. Because he can’t be here. He should be at home with his mom and dad and siblings. Not here, in an unfamiliar place on an unfamiliar bed surrounded by people that he can only assume are waiting for him to wake up so they can scream at him again. 

When did his life turn into this? Why him. He’s always been a good brother, a good son! 

Right..? 

Is this some sort of punishment for the times he tried to manipulate Ricky Dicky and Dawn? Is this what he gets for being a tattletale…?

Nicky just wants to go home, away from these angry people he doesn’t know. 

He can't quite help the quiet whine that leaves his throat. 

He can feel it when one of the men hears it too.

“Hey. I think the kid’s awake.”

“Oh, good! Now out. Shoo, shoo. Someone go get Allison. She’s good with kids.”

“Oi! I can be good with kids!”

“No, my poor, deluded brover. Batman can be good with kids. You are Knife-Trauma-Man and anything you say to a kid can be considered child abuse.”

“Hey!-”

“Out! Luther, go get Allison. I’ll wait here with the kid.

The shuffling gets louder, but more purposeful this time, not the awkward back and forth sound like before. Then the door closes.

“…Hey kiddo. Sorry about before, we didn’t mean to scare you. Or… Well, I guess we did, but not like you-you.”

Don’t move. Maybe he’ll think you’re asleep still.

“…You’re not a very good actor, you know that?”

Leave. Please leave. Leave.

“Come on kid, I’m probably the easiest to talk to out of everyone. Tell me your name..? Assuming it isn’t Five.”

That gets Nicky's brain to pause. Five? No, more importantly, the guy is probably right. Out of all the people he’d seen, this is the one who didn’t scream at him. Granted he just stared like he’d seen a ghost, but still.

And by the way his body feels, all sore and stiff, Nicky had been out cold for hours by now. If these people were going to hurt him the way mom says bad strangers could, why hadn’t they already? He feels fine, so they probably hadn’t touched him…

Nicky swallows down the fear along with a lump gathering in his throat. He’s a big kid. These people haven’t hurt him or done much but yell at him yet. And they’re adults. They might be able to help.

He slowly opens his eyes and sits up to look at the odd bearded man.

“O-okay. My name’s N-Nicky.”

“Oh… Oh, nice to meet you, Nicky! I’m Klaus. How old are you then F-Nicky? What… What's your last name?”

“…”

“Kid?”

“My mom told me not to tell strangers personal information… S-Sorry, Mister Klaus…”

“… Y-… Your mom..? Oh.. Is… Is her name Grace..? …Do you have a dad?”

Now Nicky is starting to get a bit weirded out. That’s just a weird question. He isn’t sure if he should answer or not.

“… No.. My mom’s named Anne… And my dad is named Tom…”

There. That’s not really personal information, right? Anne and Tom are kinda common names.

“…”

“Mister Klaus..?”

“… Oh Little Bicycle Girl.”

Nicky has a distinct feeling he should be offended by that statement for some reason, but he can’t tell because it doesn’t exactly sound like a curse to him.

“…What?”

Chapter Text

“What the hell…”

A gasp can be heard from just beside Ricky’s ear. “The smart quad swore! No way! I’m telling mom!”

When the three had managed to maneuver their way back into the ventilation system, they hadn’t known what to expect. Well, Ricky, at least, didn’t know what to expect. He had kinda assumed that Nicky wouldn’t even be up in the vents. It’d make more sense for him to be in the kitchen.

Because it was Nicky. His quadruplet. His brother. His youngest brother. The innocent one of the bunch. Why would he be hiding in the vents? What would he have to hide at all?

So when they had decided to explore towards the back of the house where none of them had seen yet, he hadn’t expected to find anything.

But they did. 

They found equations. 

Calculations. Everywhere. Written in sharpie on all four walls of the small space. 

The writing was small, cramped, and way too messy to be Nicky’s perfect recipe writing script. Someone else must have written these. They were too messy. Too specific. 

One of the equations that they passed even factored in a specific value that Ricky recognized as the exact gravitational pull of a theoretical blackhole. 

They were too perfect. To complete. Too… Smart. It couldn’t be Nicky. 

But it was. Because the next corner that the three had cautiously turned revealed their brother. Sharpie in hand, writing furiously on the clear space of metal sheeting ahead of all the existing calculations.

So in his expert opinion, Dicky, ‘what the hell’ is a perfectly reasonable reaction to the situation at hand.

What really threw Ricky off though, was the look on Nicky’s face. 

He hadn’t known what to expect when they did eventually find him. Surprise, maybe? Or that sly look and a convoluted explanation on why he had been acting so off, a monologue about their brother’s newest scheme behind their backs. A Nicky look.

Not… That. 

A sneer might be the easiest way to describe the way Nicky’s facial muscles contorted. But it was too… Disappointed. Pitying? Maybe a bit disgusted?

Not a Nicky face. 

Well, obviously it was Nicky’s face, but Nicky’s face wouldn’t do that.

Nicky exhaled heavily, not even pausing in his calculations to spare them a second glance. “So you found me. Hn. What are you three doing up here.”

The tone in which he spoke to them too… Wrong. So wrong. Nicky doesn’t get… Irritated like that… Nicky gets loud and explains what’s bothering him. Not… This is all wrong.

”What are we doing up here! What are you doing up here?! What are those- are those… Is that math?” Dawn pipes up, channeling her inner oldest sibling.

“Dude, you were hiding up here to do homework? Lame! I thought you’d be like, smoking weed or something.”

The feeling of wrongness fades safely into the back of Ricky’s mind where he can poke at it at a different time, his thoughts screeching to a halt at his brother's comment. “Dicky! What-that- no! We can’t smoke! Why would you think-“

Nicky dropped the sharpie with a dull metallic thud, turning to face the tree of them and seeming much too tall for someone on their knees in a ventilation system. Really, Nicky is still just a little kid compared to the rest of-

“Get out.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…Please.”

“Wha- Nicky- You-! No! What are you even doing up here! Hiding and doing math?! I’m the smart quad! You can’t be the smart quad, you hate homework!”

“Dude, Ricky, you can’t base your whole personality on something like school. That’s lame.”

A scoff can be heard to the side of the conversation. “Oh, says you Mr. Sunglasses.”

“Hey! The chicks dig my sunglasses! You’re just immune because you’re my sister and that'd be weird.”

Can’t they see?! That isn’t important! “Both of you, be quiet! I wanna know what all these equations are for!” Ricky aims a glare at Nicky, who is looking less and less composed. “Are you trying to take my place as the-”

“SHUT UP!”

The shout echoes around the tight space, reverbing through the ventilation system and likely across the house. A silence hangs over the enclosed space as three heads slowly turn back to stare at the boy before them. Their brother. The innocent, calm, annoying, brother.

Who just shouted at them.

Who is not Nicky.

Ricky could feel tears start to sting in the corners of his eyes unbidden.

Not-Nicky seems to notice the near reaction to his outburst and slowly exhales, pressing his fingers into the bridge of nose. Ricky can barely make out the words muttered through the other boy’s calming breathes. “Calm… Children. Just children. Calm…”

No one else has spoken. Three fourths of the full quad looking lost, stunned, and on the verge of tears, in that order.

Finally Not-Nicky sighs and speaks, a much softer sound than he had previously been using. “Get out. Please. And thank you.”

And with that, Ricky’s eyes start to well up, tears gathering thickly without his permission.

Chapter Text

This has been a very stressful day. Well, actually, it's been a very stressful life, but that isn't exactly new, especially not in this family.

No. Between the stress of the big Commission fight back in the 60’s, to going back to the Academy and finding out they had been replaced, no one had been exactly pleased with Five. Especially not after Diego pointed out to everyone that he hadn't even fought any of the Sparrows. 

So in standard Hargreeves fashion, the second they were in the clear, everyone started screaming at their brother.

And then he started crying.

Five doesn’t cry. Five gets angry and shows his emotions by exploding on one of them or killing someone else. Never… That.

Vanya about had a heart attack when the boy started tearing up.

Then another one when Klaus dropped the bomb that the boy is, apparently, not Five. Which obviously led to more panic. Because not only are they trapped in a timeline that isn't their own, they're trapped without their resident time traveler to figure something out and make a plan. Not to mention that they lost their brother in time again.

Vanya-... Vanya?... Wait what..? 

No, brood on that another time, once your brother is back… Again.

Anyway, Vanya had never really appreciated how much Five really did for them in the last two apocalypses until he was gone. 

He thinks the others are thinking the same too by now.

...Wait, he ? ...Where did that come fro-…

Oh. 

...Oh, okay, yeah. 

That-… That’s something to have a crisis on later. 

He can…

Vicktor?

Vicktor. Vicktor can have an existential crisis, and look back at every interaction he’s had ever , once his oldest brother is back and safe.

Right now though, the least he can do is get the kid something out of the meager food supply that Klaus stole. He can do that while Allison plays damage control.

Allison… That’s a whole other thing too. She hadn't even tried calling Clair yet, refusing to leave the hotel until the kid woke up. Which she would never have done for Five, but that isn't Five, is it. 

It's a kid. 

A kid that Allison seems to have gotten concerningly attached to after he told her she was ‘mom shaped’, as Klaus so kindly put it. Not that Vicktor has any room to judge her for being parental to a random kid. Because god does he miss his kid… He hopes Sissy is doing okay… Did okay? Okay, Five is right, time travel makes things weird.

Right. Five. Keep it together Vicktor.

“Hope Klaus managed to find some marshmallows.”

“Hey, how are you doing F-”

“He says his name is Nicky.”

Allison has to blink at Klaus in surprise before slowly turning back to the boy sitting before them. “Nicky?”

The boy nods, the action almost shy. And isn't that a fucking trip.

“Okay Nicky. My name’s Allison. How are you feeling?”

The boy seems to shrink in on himself like he's trying to look smaller and a mix of emotions rise up from Allison’s chest. Because that is not a Five reaction. That's a reaction of a scared little kid surrounded by people he doesn't know or trust, and Allison can actually feel her heart clench for the child wearing her asshole of a brother’s face.

Klaus, ever observant, far more than anyone ever gives him credit for actually, chooses that moment to pipe in softly but no less chipper. “Hey, it's okay compadre! Allison here is my sister, and she's got a kid of her own just a bit younger than you! She may look like she wants to bite someone half the time, but that's just the RBF!”

“Excuse me ?”

“You’re excused.”

Allison doesnt know exactly what her face does, but the kid lets out a soft snort, the sound drawing her gaze back to him. He goes still under her gaze, so Allison plays it off quickly by turning back to glare lightly at Klaus with another jab at him.

“Sorry about Klaus here, he’s about as mature as you.”

“Gasp! Exsqueeze you! I am a full grown adult!”

“Act your age then.”

The genuine little giggle coming from not -Five actually startles Allison into glancing back to the boy, and Klaus follows the action with far less surprise, but he's always been better at masking his real feelings than her. The sudden influx of attention has the kid, Nicky , clamming up again, but after a moment he speaks for the first time since Allison has seen him calm.

“...You guys really are siblings, huh.”

Klaus quietly steps forward and kneels a little ways from the bed the kid sits curled up on. His voice is uncharacteristically soft but his easy grin is still plastered across his face. 

“Yep! Adopted, if you couldn't tell, but that doesn't really change much for us!” His smile softens into something a bit more gentle. “You have any siblings?”

The kid fidgets with his fingers for a long moment and Allison doesn't blame him. She's about to cut in when Nicky nods slowly and mutters just loud enough for her to make out. “Th-Three. I’m a quadruplet.”

Ah. Quadruplet… Not… Not seven… Okay. Time to change the subject before Allison gives herself a panic attack because what the hell is going on and why does this little kid really have her brother’s face.

Stop. Compartmentalize. Allison is good at that. They can come back to this when the kid isn't acting like a spooked animal. Compartmentalize, gain trust, get Five back. 

And-... And Clair. She need to check and see- 

No. No. Now is not the time. There's no way any of the rest of these morons will understand how to take care of an actual child, especially not if the kid is wearing the resident old-man’s face. She can’t leave. Not yet. Not now. Clair-... Clair is safe for now. She has to be, but Nicky isn't.  

Compartmentalize. Breathe. And let the maternal instincts take over for now.

“Well… We’re going to try and get you back to your family, okay Nicky? In the meantime, you can stick with us. We’re in a hotel right now with plenty of people around and I’m sure there’s cameras in the open areas, so you can relax a bit…”

Thankfully the kid seems to do just that at the idea of not being secluded with strangers, and Allison can't help but silently congratulate his, probably not Reginald, parents for raising him to be self aware and wary of strangers at least.

“For now though, are you hungry?”

Nicky not so subtly glances at Klaus, who just gives an awkward little nod back to him. The boy slowly nods back to Allison. “U-um… A… A little…”

Okay. Allison can work with that. “Great. We’re all whipping something up for lunch, so you can eat with us.”

Her words make the boy stiffen like a deer in the headlights. Not so great. But fair.

Klaus quickly butts in. “Aw, do we have to? Family luncheon is always so awkward.” He shoots a meaningful glance at Allison, “If it's all the same to you, mine sister, I’ll just chill in here and eat lunch. Wanna sit in with me?”

Fi- Nicky … Seems to relax a bit, but if it's because of the prospect of less people or just that he’s taken a liking to Klaus, she can't tell. “O-Oh! Uh, sure. Diego is being annoying about the Sparrows anyway, I'll just eat in here with you.”

“Great! How about you kiddo? Humor us boring old people and eat with us?”

The kid about jumps out of his skin when he's addressed directly and Allison barely keeps a wince off her face. Poor kid. “S-Sure…”

Yeah. Compartmentalize. Allison can do this.

Chapter Text

Tom… Tom is lost.

Five minutes. He saw them run off five minutes ago. And in that time, three of his four procreations managed to coat themselves in filth and work themselves up into tears. 

Tears are a rarity in the Harper household.

“Okay. From the beginning. One at a time. Dawn, go.”

“Something’s wrong with Nicky!”

“Noted. Nicky, anything to say to that?”

“I agree. Something is probably deeply wrong with me.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Okay. That,” Tom’s beautiful wife replies to that one, thankfully “we will be talking about at a later date. You’re perfect sweetheart. But for now, Dawn, elaborate.”

The girl visibly hesitates, looking one at a time at all her brothers. “I… I don’t… Something’s… He’s smart! And… And mature!”

“…Oh. Uh.” Tom glances at Nicky. The youngest is still standing with his arms crossed and notably not sitting at the couch with his siblings. More notably, even though all four were in the ventilation system, Nicky is, amazingly, completely clean.

“Good for you, Nicky.” Anne pipes in again, always better with emotional things. “Kids, you have to understand that you’re going to have times in your life where you want to separate yourselves from your siblings. That’s part of growing up.” 

Anne is an angel, Tom swears it. She always knows what to say.

“Mom, love you,” Dicky starts, “but if this were about emotional growing pains, we wouldn’t have come to you and dad.”

Three kids nod, Ricky more tearfully than the other two. One child glances at the other three, face almost scarily blank. 

Weird… 

Okay, that’s fine. Come on Tom, time to put the parent pants on.

“Fine, not a puberty thing. Dicky, Dawn. You’ve both had your concerns heard by the council. Ricky, you’re up.”

“…That’s not Nicky.”

A beat passes in silence and everyone’s gaze slides to Ricky. After a moment, Anne steps forward and kneels before him, concern painting her face.

“Honey, have you been watching horror movies again? You remember what happened with the zombie movie night…”

“I remember.”

“Not now, Tom.”

“Right, sorry.”

“No! No, not- He’s not Nicky!”

Tom is so very lost.

“Dude-”

“Ricky-“

“NO!” Tom jumps at the yell, watching stunned as his usually logical boy jumps off the couch with the manic energy of a lunatic.

“All of you! You don’t get it! That-” Ricky points to the brother in question, who’s expression stays calmly blank “Is not Nicky!”

“Honey… I’m going to need you to take a breath and stop shouting.”

“I’m breathing fine! He’s not Nicky! He’s too… Too smart!”

“…Dude. Chill. You take the ‘smart quad’ thing too seriously.”

“Yeah, Ricky. I get it, but you’re being insane…”

“Honey, I know being smart is your thing, but if you form your identity around one aspect of yourself, you’ll end up putting yourself in a box and doing yourself a disservice in the long run…”

Oh, that sounds like something to agree with. “Your mother’s right, Ricky. That’s not healthy.” 

Nailed it. Tom is totally getting a good grade in parenting, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

“No! No, you all don’t understand!”

Okay, less good grade.

“He!” Ricky points more vehemently at Nicky, who at this point raises a hand to his face and pinches the bridge of his nose in the same move Tom has seen his of father. “Is. Not. Nicky.”

“Ricky…”

“Dude-”

“Because I know Nicky can’t calculate the theoretical pull of a blackhole’s gravity while factoring in the delicate nature of a human body and the pull of what I can only assume to be some sort of constant, like.. like some.. some theoretical, infeasible-… Nightmare transportation!”

“…Time.”

All heads either snap to or turn slowly to look at Nicky. Who has a hand still pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s warding off a headache. Who, now that Tom thinks about it, has talked only once this entire conversation… Weirder… 

“…What.” And Tom can hear Ricky grinding his teeth through the word.

“Time. The constant in my equation is time.”

…

Stunned silence fills the room at the correction. A correction to Ricky, the science quad. After a long moment of quiet, Tom subtly turns his gaze to Ricky, who… Seems to have blue screened at the information. Either trying to reverse engineer some equation with that information, or equally stunned at the correction.

Eventually Anne clears her throat softly, still knelt before the couch, pretty uselessly since Ricky jumped up though.

“Nicky, sweetheart, is that what this is about? You’ve been working at your math skills..?”

“No. Rick is correct.”

Dawn looks disgusted and pipes in. “Ricky. Not Rick.” Then she blinks. “Wait, what?”

“I am not calling him Ricky. And he is correct. I am not Nicky.”

Oh. Oh. Tom can handle that. “So… You’d prefer… Nick? Nicholas?”

“…” 

The look of disgust Nicholas gives him at that moment could make children cry and old ladies clutch their pearls.

Chapter Text

“...So.. Are none of us going in there to make sure Five doesn't kill one of them..?”

Diego could feel his eye muscles twitch. “Still not Five, Luther.”

“Okay, but are we sure? Like, Five has said before that time is like.. Really weird. Are we sure it's not just him but just.. Age regressed..?”

“Have you known Five at any age that would cry and isn't a little asshole?”

“Well, we don't exactly know if he's an asshole because Allison wont let us see him.”

“Valid. You scare kids, bro.”

The look of betrayed shock on Luther’s face could almost make this whole thing bearable. At least they’re not stranded separately this time around. Not that the oaf had been too cooperative with staying put, wanted to go work out and run of all things. 

Allison full on read him the riot act about sitting still so they don't lose another brother. Pulled out the mom voice and all. Probably because she was in the 60’s longer and got back her confidence before they saw each other again.

A thought occurs to Diego then. When did Luther fall into the 60’s..? 

Oh fuck. Is Luther older than him now? 

Fuck. Fuck. Diego can never let him realize. 

As such he changes the topic just as quickly, taking notice of Vanya walking by the lounge area with.. A fresh cut? Yikes.

That's…Not a great look with her hair type, too flat against her skull.

“What’s up with the new hair?” Luther is the one to ask instead of him, thankfully, but the flinch Vanya gives isn't a good sign.

“Van? What happened?”

“V-Vicktor.”

Luther blinks, slow and confused, at her wringing her fingers. “Huh?”

When there's not a response, Diego speaks up, hoping to clarify what’s going on “Who’s Vicktor?” Did he do that to her hair?

To his surprise, Vanya straightens her back, looking them both firmly in the eyes for once.

“..I am. It's who I've always been. V-Vicktor, I mean..”

Oh. Oh. Oh shit.

Luther blinks wide eyed between Vicktor and Diego like he hopes for someone to please explain what the hell is going on. “You’re changing the name Grace gave you? Why wou-”

Diego chooses that moment to harshly kick Luther in the shin. Like a good brother. 

“Because he can, that's why.”

The sight of Vicktor absolutely lighting up like a christmas tree did nothing to Diego’s heart. Nope. Because Vicktor is still the asshole that aired the family dirty laundry to the world. 

Well… This isn't their world, huh. No book, no heroics, and only the look of joy in his brother’s eyes. Damn it, Diego is going soft.

Looking back and forth and clearly processing the pronoun Diego used, a lightbulb visibly goes off in Luther’s thick head. “Oh. Oh! Oh my god Van- Uh- Vicktor! You- I- Oh my god! We need a party or something!”

“What? No, we’re not having a party-”

“Wha- No- we- God, we have to figure out the Five thing before we worry about me-”

“Oh comeonnnn..”

... No grown ass man should be able to pull off puppy dog eyes like that. Especially not someone Luther’s size. How the fuck is he doing that.

“.... Maybe a small party...”

“Only when the kid is talking! Not pulling anything before.” Diego is quick to cut in with his own rendition of a mom voice before Luther can start fist pumping too soon.

God, why does he have to be the voice of reas- Holy fuck is that Lila what the motherlover is she DOING HERE-

What is going on? Dawn has no clue. At all. 

Ricky is blankly staring the way he does when he’s having a meltdown, Nicky is looking at Dad like he just kicked Squishy Paws, and Dawn is feeling very awkward.

With her voice pitched low and conspiratorial but loud enough in the silence to be heard by the whole family, Dawn stage-whispers to Dickey sitting next to her. “What is happening.”

“... Dunno, but I’m not calling him Nicholas.”

The sigh that Nicky lets out is a borderline groan. Still so weird, he’s acting like an adult. And Dawn doesnt like it.

“Okay,” Mom cuts through the silence with a grace only she can have. “okay. You two. Quiet. No one is calling anyone Nicholas”

“I mean, unless he wants to be called Nicholas, of course.”

“Tom.”

“What? He might like that name.”

“I do not.”

“He does not.”

“There is nothing wrong with the name Nicholas! It’s a perfectly normal-”

“ Time Travel! ” 

The sudden shouted outburst shocks everyone into jumping, even Squishy from his place in the armchair. The Harpers all collectively look at the suddenly screaming Ricky. Dawn can feel a weird sort of tingling anxiety in her very being at the manic wide eyed look to her brother.

At least he's not blankly buffering or calculating anymore.

“No- No- wait no, DIMENSIONAL TRAVEL! That’s- there’s no way- it can't- but those calculations - there was- theoretical black hole- oh my Newton-”

Dawn can see Dad open his mouth with that softly concerned furrow to his brow, but he’s cut off by Ricky pointing at Nicky (Nicholas?) and crying out in what might be manic glee or manic terror, but it's manic something. “You- YOU- You are a GENIUS!”

Okay, not even Dicky is starting to look concerned between their brothers. “What? What’s happening? Someone explain something to the cool quad, I'm lost here.”

He’s ignored, much like mom is when Ricky bolts around her to corner Nicky. Who promptly dodges and puts Dad and the couch between them with a look Dawn has never seen on him. Like he’s startled, but not the innocent wide eyed look he usually has when that happens. No, like he’s startled but also frowning? Like he’s appalled and disgusted and confused and vaguely angry. It's weird. It's not Nicky-ish.

If Ricky is put off by the distancing, he doesn’t let it show. “Are you a multiversal counterpart?! I have so many questions- I can’t even start- How old are you, are you actually one of us? You don't act like it, you don't act like our Nicky, and obviously you aren’t Nicky because you keep saying your not and you stole my clothes and my clothes aren't Nicky’s style and you're so smart- ”

“Ricky, Ricky baby, stop that and breathe honey...” Mom gently guides Ricky from his perch leaning over the couch to shoot nonstop questions that make no real sense to Dawn. Not to anyone else either by the odd looks everyone else is giving Ricky.

Except.. Dawn catches the subtle movement that Nicky makes, and it seems only she and Nicky do at all. Still that almost angry look, but more.. Soft. Resigned? With a quick neck chop with his hand, motioning to drop it. Drop it? Like there's anything to discuss? What is going on?!

Ricky is panting out of breath as mom gently pats his back and shoots Dad a confused beseeching look.

“Is.. Is this some game or prank or something?” Dad asks slowly, looking between all four of them, making Nicky drop the gesture to rub at his neck awkwardly.

“Method acting!” Ricky suddenly calls out, loud and out of nowhere, making everyone jump again. Dawn catches movement again and she thinks that the aborted motion Nicky makes might be him holding back a face palm. Which. Okay. No Mom and Dad involved.

“Y-Yeah! There’s a play in school soon!”

Dicky looks blankly between her and Ricky. “What? School's still-” He’s not too blank when Dawn harshly elbows him in the gut. “Hn-! R-Right! A-A play! You know, for when school starts up again in a couple months! Gotta practice now to get good!”

Mom doesn’t look convinced, but Dad just blinks slowly before shrugging “Oh. Okay.”

“What? Tom-”

Dad makes that same subtle neck chopping motion, but it's not very subtle when everyone can see it. “Let the kids have their fun. You remember our plays in school!”

Mom gives him that look that absolutely means she knows neither of them buy it, but she’s agreeing to back off. Dawn can't help but wince. This isn't over.

But with a sigh and a gentle pat to Ricky’s hair, she concedes and moves to Dad with a shake of her head.

Dad calls back over his shoulder as they leave the living room, cheer in his voice a bit exaggerated. “Do good things and get those parts!”

As they leave, Nicky really does complete that facepalm, the sound sharply ringing through the room.