Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Now don’t lose them, okay?” The Doctor pointedly told Rory, giving his chest a poke with a firm finger.

Rory looked down at the heavy metal bucket filled to the brim with coins that he was holding in his arms, then glanced back up at the Doctor.

He gave an awkward nod.

“Think it would be a bit difficult,” he replied.

“Yes, well I know you, Pond,” the Doctor said.

Rory couldn’t recall having lost anything since travelling with the Doctor, but he went with it as he usually did where the spaceman was concerned.

He also had to resist the urge to correct the Doctor that he wasn’t a Pond, he was a Williams.

“Oh, give him a break, sweetie,” River chimed in as she looped her arm with the Doctor’s. “I’m sure Rory will take good care of your coins.”

“Well, I have to be sure, River,” the Doctor told his wife, “do you know how long I’ve been trying to get this prize? Sometimes I swear it’s rigged!”

By his side, River fondly rolled her eyes. Sometimes, she could swear that man was actually a child.

“Why don’t you just, you know,” Amy waved her hand a bit, “sonic it?”

The Doctor’s eyes went wide as if absolutely affronted by the mere suggestion of using his screwdriver.

“Are you out of your mind?” He balked. “That’s cheating! I would never do that.”

Amy, Rory, and River all shared a look.

“You cheat all the time,” Amy said.

“I do not! That’s completely absurd, Pond.”

“I mean, you do a bit,” Rory agreed with Amy.

“They’re right,” River nodded. “You cheat all the time, sweetie.”

Suitably ganged up on, the Doctor crossed his arms as much as he could with River’s arm still looped through his.

He looked to the right to sulk for all of two seconds.

“Yes, well,” he said, “I don’t have any patience, alright? Besides, I already tried using my screwdriver and it wouldn’t work. So I have to do it the old fashioned way. And I’ve been collecting those coins for a decade, so don’t you dare lose them, Roranicus!”

Rory startled at the attention suddenly being brought back to him, and then nodded. He really didn’t want to be put in charge of the Doctor’s decade worth of coins, but neither Amy nor River seemed to want to carry the bucket, so he was stuck with it.

Suddenly, the Doctor brightened up again, uncrossed his arms, jostling River’s a bit, and then gestured to the bright and colourful arcade behind him.

“So, shall we get a move on?”

Inside the arcade, another visitor and his friends were striding through the noisy building. The shorter of the three, Nardole, followed with a thoroughly unimpressed air about him.

“You can be really irresponsible sometimes, you know that?” He huffed.

Up ahead, the Doctor rolled his eyes and ignored him, following a path he knew like the back of his hand.

For centuries, he had been coming to this particular arcade with the sole purpose of winning a prize. It’d been a long time since he’d had his mind so set on something, but he would be damned if he left this world without winning this prize.

He didn’t care how long it took him. He’d already spent centuries trying and failing, a few more years couldn’t hurt. Though, this time, he felt particularly good about winning it.

Some might say that the machine was rigged, but the Doctor knew better. He would win it today.

“I promised not to leave Earth, and look, I’m still on Earth,” he replied to Nardole.

“Not in the right time zone, though, are you?” Nardole grumbled with displeasure.

The Doctor stopped momentarily and turned to face his not-babysitter. Nardole and Bill also paused lest they walk into the grumpy Time Lord.

“Why are you here, anyway? I thought I asked you to mow the lawn?” The Doctor asked.

“Yeah, well, funnily enough, the university has its own gardener,” Nardole stated and crossed his arms. “It’s not me.”

Seeing he wasn’t going to get rid of Nardole any time soon and that the man would be following him around until he was back where he should be, the Doctor grumbled and pivoted to continue his way to his desired machine.

As soon as the Doctor was on the move again, Bill and Nardole shared a look and followed in his wake.

“Why are we here?” Bill questioned. “What’s so special about a boring old arcade on Earth? I bet you’ve been to loads.”

Suddenly faced with more interesting questions, the Doctor turned to face his friends and began to explain as he walked backwards.

“Ah, see, I’ve been coming to this arcade for centuries now, Bill,” he said, “every so often I stop by to try and win a special prize. Until now, I’ve always failed to win it, but today’s different. I can feel it.”

“You do know most of these things are rigged, don’t you?” Bill rose an eyebrow.

The Doctor’s smile wavered momentarily but then he shook his head.

“Not this one,” he said.

“Then how come you’ve never won?” Bill challenged him with a knowing grin.

Nardole nodded and pointed at Bill, agreeing with her. The Doctor’s smile finally did fall as he stared at Bill with visible unhappiness.

For a beat, he didn’t say anything. Then he finally seemed to come up with some reply.

“Well, I could win it at any time,” he claimed, “you know, sonic screwdriver and all. But where would be the fun in that?

“And in all those centuries of coming here, you never got bored and just… gave in?” Bill rose any eyebrow.

The Doctor shrugged, turned around and continued walking.

“All right then,” Bill relented. “So, what’s the prize?”

Running up to a colourful, flashy arcade machine, the Doctor leaned forward and gave the side of it a lick to determine if the TARDIS had brought her to the right time.

The monitors had been on the fritz when they landed so she had to be sure.

“Ugh, mate, don’t lick that,” Ryan pulled a face.

“Come on, Doc,” Graham sighed and ran a hand down his face.

“Do you know how many people have touched that?” Yaz scrunched up her nose as she watched the Doctor lick the machine.

When the Doctor pulled a way, she, herself, made a displeased face before recovering and returning to her friends who were watching her from a few feet away.

She put her hands on her hips.

“Sorry, fam, had to be sure we were in the right time zone,” she explained, “and, luckily for me, we are!”

“There are easier ways,” Ryan mumbled to Yaz.

“What’s so special about this place, anyway?” Graham asked, looking around. “Where are we?”

“Earth, 1998,” the Doctor explained. “There’s this machine somewhere around here that I’ve been coming to play on for centuries. The prize inside is limited edition, and I’ve got to win it.”

“Centuries?” Yaz repeated.

“I know. I don’t look it, do I?” The Doctor grinned.

“Uh, no,” Yaz mumbled with a confused frown.

Ryan shook his head.

“Well, I love arcades, so I’m gonna go have a look around. 1998 and all that. Might have some cool stuff,” he decided, giving a shrug to Yaz.

The police officer smiled and nodded her agreement.

“Sounds like a blast. I’ll come with you.”

“Meet back here in a couple of hours?” Ryan asked to which the Doctor enthusiastically nodded.

“Don’t get into too much trouble!” She told them.

“We should be saying that to you,” Yaz told the blonde alien.

The Doctor scronched her face amusedly.

With that, Ryan and Yaz wandered off further into the arcade, leaving the Doctor and Graham alone.

The Doctor turned her focus to Graham.

“What about you, Graham?” The Doctor asked. “Anything you wanna have a go on?”

“Oh, I’m all right, ta, Doc,” Graham politely declined. “I had my fair share of arcades when I was a lad. I’m more a cards type of bloke these days.”

“I get that,” the Doctor nodded. “Well then, you can help me win this prize. Come on!”

Without waiting for his agreement, the Doctor turned around and strode off. Graham nodded and followed in her wake, listening as she began to go on about her short-lived addiction to live chess back a few hundred years ago.

Whatever live chess was, Graham decided he didn’t want to try it. 

When they’d entered the arcade, the Doctor had run around and briefly tried whichever machine caught his eye at the time. He didn’t exactly win anything, but then, he wasn’t here for those machines apparently.

It was only when they got quite far into the arcade that he eventually came to a jarring stop- almost giving Rory whiplash in the process- in front of a fairly big claw machine with big glass panels, flashing lights, and, inside of it, a decently sized teddy bear wearing a fez, a bowtie, and a pair of sunglasses.

It was then that Rory knew exactly which machine the Doctor had been trying to win on and which one he’d be staring at for the next few hours.

He also knew why the Doctor wanted this prize so badly just by looking at the fez.

“Oh, you beauty,” the Doctor spoke to the bear inside of the claw machine, approaching it like it was the most expensive jewel in the universe.

“That?” Amy asked and pointed at the claw machine. “That’s what you’ve been trying to win?”

“Isn’t it amazing? I mean, look at the fez! And it’s got a bowtie too!”

“Doctor, it’s a teddy bear,” Amy pointed out.

“I know!” The Doctor smiled giddily, holding onto either side of the claw machine. 

Behind him, Amy and River shared a Look. Rory never liked that look they shared because usually it was at his expense, but when it was about the Doctor, he tended to mind less.

These days, it was usually about the Doctor, actually, which was fine by Rory.

“Right…” Amy trailed off. “Just remind me how long you’ve been trying to win this toy for?”

The Doctor didn’t answer that, and Rory, who had been holding the metal bucket now for too long, shuffled over to the claw machine, squatted down as low as he could go, and none-too-gently plonked it down on the floor.

It landed with a heavy thud as some of the coins toppled over the edge and fell to the floor.

“Careful, Rory!” The Doctor finally tore his gaze away from the bear and crouched down to pick up any coins that had spilled over onto the floor.

“If you do win this bear, sweetie,” River began.

“When!” The Doctor corrected her.

“If you win it, I hope you don’t think it’s going in our bedroom.”

The Doctor placed the last few coins in the bucket and then stood up to face River.

“Well, of course not,” he said to which River rose an inquisitive eyebrow. “Over a century trying to win this- this stylish teddy bear, and you think I’m just going to put him in the bedroom to be neglected? No, obviously I’m going to display him in the control room.”

Rory barely resisted rolling his eyes.

“What?” Amy asked. “In the control room?”

“Sweetie,” River tried.

“Right then!” The Doctor cut in before anyone could protest his decision. “I have a decade’s worth of money to spend here, and there’s no time to lose! Let’s get a shift on, Pond’s.”

“Should be around here somewhere…” the Doctor mumbled, mostly to herself.

Graham was lagging a little behind, but she knew he was still there which was a plus. It wouldn’t do well to lose her companions so early on into their adventure. She only hoped Ryan and Yaz hadn’t gotten into any trouble yet.

After the next corner, the Doctor finally spotted a very familiar machine which had a grin spreading across her face just at the mere sight of it. Her hearts skipped an excited beat.

“There it is!” She proclaimed, turning to Graham.

“What, that old thing?” Graham asked.

“Yep,” the Doctor nodded.

“But it’s just a crane machine,” Graham frowned, “and there’s only one teddy bear in there.”

The Doctor put her hands on Graham’s shoulders and guided him over to the machine in question.

“Not just any teddy bear, Graham O’Brian,” the Doctor said, “this is the finest bear in all the universe. I mean, look at it!”

Graham did so, peering at the bear inside the crane machine. He pursed his lips before straightening up.

“Well, can’t say it ain’t you, Doc,” he shrugged to which the Doctor smiled.

“Yes it is,” she agreed. “And I’m gonna win it.”

Just then, there was a barrage of noise behind them. The sound of running feet and a panicked voice.

The Doctor and Graham whirled around, startled and prepared for danger as that was usually the nature of their adventures, but when they turned around, the Doctor was surprised to find a very familiar face approaching them.

Ah, this was going to be tricky…

The familiar face stopped in front of her and Graham and jabbed a finger into her sternum.

“Listen, blondie-“ 

Ahem!

The familiar face which the Doctor began calling Bowtie in her mind recoiled. His hand dropped to his side and he looked bashful for a second before continuing.

“That bear is mine,” Bowtie said, “so you can be on your way now.”

The Doctor’s mouth dropped with astonishment until she gathered her bearings enough to reply.

“I don’t think so, mate!” She denied. “I saw it first, and I really want it so I think you should be the one to leave leave, thank you very much.”

Bowtie looked flabbergasted by her defiance. The Doctor knew he wasn’t used to getting what he wanted.

Just then, he looked suspicious, his eyes narrowing and lips pursing as he gazed at her.

“Do I know you?” He asked.

Behind him, the Ponds looked confused whilst the Doctor could sense Graham’s bemusement too.

“Uh, nope! No, never met you before in my life,” the Doctor glanced away and let out a nervous laugh.

“Are you sure? You seem familiar,” Bowtie hummed.

The Doctor opened her mouth to deny knowing him once again, when yet another familiar voice gathered her attention.

“Ah, here it is.”

The Doctor internally winced.

The timelines weren’t going to like this.

Turning almost reluctantly, the Doctor set her eyes on a grey, very poofy haired man wearing a velvet suit.

Yeah, the universe was one second away from imploding, she was sure of it.

“Can I help you guys?” The thick Scottish accent from a second ago asked, gesturing loosely towards the ragtag group.

The Doctor sighed.

—

“I was here first!”

“No you were not!”

“I’m older than you so that means I get it!”

“In what universe does that even make sense? Do you just wake up in the morning and think to yourself, ‘today I’m gonna be stupid’?”

“Wh-“

“Doctor!”

“That bear is mine and I’ll be damned if I let you morons get your hands on it!”

“Technically they’re our hands.”

“Besides the point!”

“Out of my way!”

River sighed to herself as she watched the chaos unfold before her. Some minutes ago, Rory had awkwardly excused himself from the situation only to return with pop for everyone. With her cup of coca cola in hand, she brought the straw to her ruby lips and sipped on it.

This was going to be a long day, she could feel it. Although, she wasn’t particularly unhappy nor was she complaining. Three Doctors in the same place at the same time? Her mind was racing.

It was only when she saw the blonde Doctor, the future one which her Doctor had called ‘Blondie’, stand on her tiptoes to square up to the grey-haired Doctor that River decided to step in.

She put her drink down and strode over to the trio. The Doctors’ friends looked confused, appalled, and uncomfortable. All things River was sure she would be feeling if she hadn’t experienced this exact situation many times before. The Doctor never got along with themself.

“Okay, ladies, break it up,” River rolled her eyes.

It was only a mild surprise when they actually listened to her. Blondie huffed and pursed her lips, Bowtie crossed his arms and glared at the old man whilst Shades only looked smug. He wore a look as if he knew something Bowtie didn’t.

“Right. You all clearly want that bear and all this arguing is getting you nowhere. So why don’t you just take turns and whoever wins it fairly gets to keep it? Hm?” River suggested.

Whilst Blondie and Shades didn’t look particularly happy, they reluctantly agreed. Everyone else looked relieved by rhis. She could imagine they all had a headache brewing, just like her. Probably the paradox, she mused. She was going to have a killer hangover by morning.

“But where’s the fun in that?” Bowtie protested to which everyone looked at him.

Bill, Shades’ companion, raised an eyebrow whilst Amy crossed her arms, unimpressed.

“I mean, what a wonderful idea, my lovely wife,” Bowtie backtracked, looking embarrassed.

“Good,” River nodded. “Now, how do we decide who goes first?”

“Youngest to oldest?” Nardole suggested.

“Best to worst?” Blondie suggested, looking perfectly innocent whilst she glanced at Bowtie.

“Shortest to tallest?” Shades added.

Blondie shot him a withering glare.

“Youngest to oldest it is,” River drawled.

—

Bowtie’s turn was a complete and utter failure. With his hands on the stick, he’d leaned in as close as he could possibly get without licking the glass enclosure, only to press the drop button and send the crane a good two inches away from the bear.

“Really?” Rory had muttered to Amy and River. “That man could save the world with a jammy dodger and a piece of string, and he missed that?”

River bit back an amused laugh.

“I’m sure the others will do much better,” she’d said, knowing damn well they wouldn’t.

“Move,” Shades budged Bowtie out of the way, inserted a coin, and settled himself at the crane machine in his place.

His one hand precariously took hold of the stick whilst he leaned against the machine with the other. He stared intently at the bear, seemingly visualising the very idea of finally capturing it, before slowly moving the crane above its head.

When he pressed the button and the metal crane lowered down, it took hold of the bear's head. Everyone held their breath, eyes widening. Could it really be? On their second try, the bear was finally caught?

The crane lifted the bear, elevating it into the air. It inched towards the hole, ready to give Shades his long-awaited prize.

And then…

The bear slipped out of the crane’s hold, its fur seemingly too soft to keep hold of it. 

“What?” Shades barked. 

“No!” Bill cried on his behalf whilst the rest of them collectively sighed.

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” Shades protested. “I just had it!”

“Better luck next time,” Blondie laughed then shoved Shades aside the same way he’d shoved Bowtie aside.

Shades’ mouth opened and closed a little as he looked between Bill and Nardole, expecting them to stand up for him or explain what had just happened. Nardole shrugged and Bill gave him an encouraging half-smile.

With a scoff, Shades stepped back and unhappily crossed his arms.

“I’ll show you how it’s done,” Blondie claimed to which River raised an eyebrow at Amy, her mother looking endlessly amused.

“Tenner says she doesn’t get it?” Amy whispered.

“You’re on,” River chuckled quietly before shaking Amy’s proffered hand.

At the machine, Blondie had her tongue poking out from between her lips, eyes only on the bear. River watched intently as the crane lowered and caught hold of the teddy’s arm before picking it up.

“Go on, Doc,” Graham encouraged her. “You’ve got it.”

And it almost looked like she had. Except, the bear once again slipped out of the crane’s hold before it reached the hole.

Everyone collectively groaned and River sighed. That was a tenner lost to her. Reaching into her pocket, she withdrew the owed money and passed it over to Amy who happily hummed.

“Thank you.”

“No!” Blondie cried. “That shouldn’t- but how! It just picked it up! Ugh, it does this every time!”

“Don’t worry, Doc, I’m sure you’ll get it soon,” Graham assured her with a pat on the shoulder.

“I should’ve gotten it then,” Blondie scowled, “this is rigged.”

“Oh, don’t hate the game; hate the player,” Bowtie nudged her aside. “Step aside. Now that I’ve warmed up, I’ll show you how a professional does it.”

“If you’re such a professional, why haven’t we got it yet?” Shades pointed to himself and Blondie.

“I mean, he’s got a point,” Bill shrugged.

Rory nodded and hummed his agreement.

“Yes, well,” Bowtie sniffed and straightened his bowtie, “today’s the day.”

—

Today was not the day. They’d been here for hours now, each Doctor trying to use all of the coins they’d saved up and win the godforsaken toy. 

Graham had nodded off at some point, chin touching his chest as quiet snores escaped his mouth. Bill had drawn up a chair from somewhere and was now sitting on it, playing an offline game on her phone. Being in the past, she didn’t have any wifi but luckily, having now travelled with the Doctor for some time, she’d come prepared.

Nardole had wandered over to another machine and had so far won himself hundreds of pounds which he boasted about to the Doctors. Amy and Rory were talking quietly amongst themselves, sitting on a couch a few feet away.

River, though as bored as she was, had stayed with the Doctors in order to… well, for a lack of better word, babysit. They couldn’t be left alone for five minutes which she’d found out when she’d gone to get a drink and come back to Shades and Bowtie rolling around on the floor whilst Blondie pummelled the arcade machine.

So, River hadn’t left her post again since she had to break up the fight with Rory and Nardole’s help.

Many more times had the Doctors almost won the cursed teddy bear, but just as many times had the machine tricked them only to drop the toy back into the machine, causing uproar amongst the Time Lords.

It got to a point when, eventually, the three Doctors had, had enough and decided to work together in order to quite literally shake the bear out of the machine.

River and the rest of the group watched with surprise as the machine rocked side to side, the bear wobbling about inside the case with every movement.

“Should we do something?” Graham asked, having woken up from the noise and leaned in to River.

For a second, River blinked before sighing at the display from her spouses.

“Right, that’s enough!” She decided and strode towards them with determination.

“Hold on, dear, we’ve almost got it!” Bowtie proclaimed.

“Off!” River snapped then dragged him away from the machine. Blondie and Shades were next, both looking affronted that she would stop them in the middle of assaulting a perfectly innocent machine.

Taking a deep breath, River put her hands on her hips and looked between the three of them.

“This has gone on for long enough, don’t you think?” She asked.

“Well, if the stupid machine would pay up,” Bowtie grumbled.

“We almost had it,” Blondie added. “If you would just let us-“

“Right,” River cut in, and strode forward to Bowtie’s bucket. 

There were a few coins left at the bottom of the red bucket which she gathered into her palm before approaching the machine.

“What are you doing?” Shades asked.

River slotted a coin into the machine before taking hold of the joystick and moving the crane above the bear. Once she was sure it was in the right place, she pressed the button and let the crane drop down to pick up the bear.

Everyone watched with bated breath as the crane carried the bear over to the hole, expecting the toy to fall out of its metallic grasp at any second.

It didn’t.

To the Doctors’ equal surprise, the bear was taken straight to the hole where the crane then dropped it out of the machine.

“What!”

“Did she just…”

“Yep.”

“We’ve been here for hours. Couldn’t she have-“

“That’s mine!”

The Doctors all dove for the machine to collect the bear, but being quicker and more agile than the three idiots, River swooped in before they could reach it and grabbed the bear from the machine.

It was fluffy in her hands, its faux fur soft and brown. She adjusted the shades on its face, the glasses having gone askew after being tossed around all day, then hummed.

“Right. Are we ready to go?” She turned to the Doctors.

They all looked flabbergasted.

“River,” Bowtie whined. “That’s mine!”

“No it is not!” Blondie exclaimed.

“River, sweetie, if you ever loved me,” Shades began.

“Woah,” Bill cut in. “Seriously, Doctor?”

River quickly checked her watch.

“Oh, would you look at the time,” she blinked, “I’m late for an appointment.”

“Appointment? What appointment?” Bowtie looked confused. 

“Well, Captain Jack and I were planning to an intergalactic bar crawl in the 41st century,” River shrugged. “Hm. Perhaps I’ll bring Fred with me.”

This immediately grabbed the Doctors’ attentions.

“Who’s Fred?” Shades demanded.

River flashed the bear at them.

“This is Fred,” she answered with a smug grin.

Amy snorted and Bill chuckled. The Doctors didn’t look amused.

“His name’s not Fred, it’s Doctor Jr!” Blondie protested. 

To this, River pretended to listen to something the bear was saying then nodded.

“Definitely Fred,” she laughed. “Right, come on Fred. We’ve got an immortal time agent waiting for us.”

“Former time agent,” Eleven grumbled.

“Wait, River!”

But with a flash of light, River vanished from the arcade, taking the teddy with her.

The Doctor would never get their bear. Not for a long time, anyway.