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Chapter Text

The room was covered in darkness save for the constantly blinking screen, tabs opening and closing, a faint melody coming out of someone's headphones.

Uzi was NOT someone who saw herself in song lyrics, she only listened to them because they sounded cool. Her robo brain was totally not making connections to a certain someone in her life while blaring 'Angel With A Shotgun' on loop! Not at all! She was core deep in important research, to 'solve' the Solver in her body. She thanked her mind for coming up with such genius wordplay.

I'm an angel with a shotgun

Fighting til' the war's won

I don't care if Heaven won't take me back

A knock on the door startled her out of her trance, making her slide the headphones off her hearing sensors and scream, "What do you want, dad?! I'm busy doing evil witch stuff!"

She was caught by surprise by the one who answered. "Oh, hey, Uzi! It's me, N!" He chuckled awkwardly, adding, "Not your dad. Uh, can I come in? I wanted to see how you're doing."

Uzi cussed in her mind, stumbling off the chair as she rushed to the door. "Um, hi, N." She felt a weird smile creep up her face as she lingered on his name, followed by her metaphorical soul leaving her body as she unintentionally let a blush show. Off to a great start, she was so not thinking about him right before he arrived, no, no way. Her mind had been empty the entire day, just waiting for him to pop up again-

Okay hormones, I get it! Settle down! She scolded her unwanted feelings as she let him in, pointing him towards somewhere to sit. Uzi plopped back on the chair and focused on closing all of the tabs save for the one playing 'Angel With A Shotgun' since she was still wearing headphones around her neck.

Get out your guns

Battle's begun

Are you a saint or a sinner?

N twiddled his fingers. "Sooo, what were you up to? All good?"

"I... guess?" She wanted to slap herself for how high-pitched that came out because something fluttered inside her from his question. Guns. N had guns. Of course, he had guns, why did that matter?

"That's great! I love hearing that."

They say "Before you start a war,

You better know what you're fighting for!"

Well, baby, you are all that I adore

A furious blush threatened to cover her whole visor so she faced away from him. Angel, huh? N had wings! Did he have a shotgun? She didn't want to ask that! Was she everything he had? Suddenly, the room became hotter as internal messages spammed her with the notice of an imminent overheating. Even the demons inside her were cringing, god! How dare she dive into that kind of territory with N of all drones? Just because he was kind, listened to her, enjoyed spending time with her, and actually came to check up on her- Noooo, it was all just a well-timed coincidence! N did not feel whatever the lyrics were trying to imply.

"Are you alright, Uzi? You seem... a bit lost in thought?"

"Oh- Oh, yeah, I'm totally fine! Not lost in any thought, no, haha. Thoughts? What are those? I'm not having them and if you think I do, you're wrong! Bite me!"

"But doesn't everyone have thoughts...? I mean, I know we're robots and all, but-"

Uzi began to space out as he kept talking about whether drones experienced thoughts or if it was an illusion caused by their advanced code, a topic which she would have been invested in were it not for the continuous realizations blaring alarms in her head with each lyric that played.

N did switch sides after meeting me, didn't he? Fighting his fellow murder drones, starting a war against the humans with me... No, idiot! That wasn't because of me, I just happened to be there to drill the right ideas into his head! It wasn't because it was me, specifically! That's stupid! And where is this coming from, why does it have to be N I think about when listening to this? He doesn't feel this way about me, he's nice, and kind, and soothing, and comforting to everyone he meets! Do I... want him to feel like that...?

She blushed furiously, her cooling system barely able to keep up.

NO! EW, DISGUSTING, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!  

I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Robo-jesus, he did give up everything he used to be for her. She did feel safe, with him. She believed herself to be a freak through and through, but whenever she was with him, she felt... a lot less of that. N made her feel like she was cool, sometimes! And even when she majorly messed up, he never judged or reprimanded her, like everyone else in her life. He was... truly there for her. 'When I'm with you, scary stuff is... less scary.' 'Then we'll stick together!' She didn't even need to replay the memory to recall his words and how... safe they made her feel. Needed, simply for being herself.

She almost banged her desk- yes, she wanted to stick together so badly it was impossible to put in words.

And I

Wanna live not just survive

He told her, didn't he? When they were together, scary stuff could be fun. They didn't have to be alone and afraid- he told her, and she believed him. N wouldn't lie about something like that, she knew for certain; he wanted to be with her too. To live, not just survive.

As Uzi glanced at him still in the middle of rambling, half listening and half overwhelmed by her thoughts, she found herself wanting to ask:

Would you... be my angel with a shotgun?

She froze up.

And screamed.

That's so so so so so cringe, purge this thought, PURGE THIS THOUGHT! What the heck is wrong with me?!

The sound of her voice peaked, making for some real ugly soundwaves, but there were more pressing consequences to her outburst.

"UZI??? Are you okay, what's happening?!" He jumped and pulled out his wings, wrapping them around each other. "Is it the Solver??? Is it acting up? Talk to me?!"

Her body was getting hotter as the angst and mushiness battled to the death. Being so close to N only worsened her situation; it was getting increasingly difficult to let anything out with the words choking in her voicebox. Then, like a dam broke, confused and wanting-to-be-more-than-friends feelings spilled out in a violent burst. "No, I don't wanna talk to you, leave me alone! I don't wanna see you, I don't wanna think about you- UGHHHH, d-don't look at me! I'm being so stupid right now!" she groaned and grunted, kicking her feet in the air. "Leave, before I say anything that I'm definitely gonna regret..." She crossed her arms, trying to hide her face, but as the extra heat slowly faded thanks to her dumb screeching, she caught a glance of what she'd done.

He looked... shocked, to say the least. Distraught. Seeing him like that because of her, dug deep. However, it soon disappeared, morphing into a gentle smile, addressed to the one who just told him he wasn't needed. Why the heck did that come out? It was exactly the opposite, but just thinking of admitting that aloud made her want to rip the hair off her head. She cursed the person who thought programming icky feelings into robots was a good idea.

"Uzi..." he spoke in an endearing tone, still sticking close even though she'd just yelled at him. "You can talk to me if anything's wrong, which, right now, something probably is. I'm here for you."

"N-No." She shook her head furiously. The tenderness he showed her made her system want to bootloop itself. "I don't deserve this. I'm mean, and r-rude... I'm... sorry," her voice trembled as she cringed. "I didn't mean any of that."

He cooed. "Aw, it's okay. I'm happy you were honest with me. Don't feel so bad, you've gone through so much lately; it's no wonder you reacted like that. I prodded too much." N seemed regretful, but he bounced back like he always did. For her sake. "I'll give you space if you'd like!"

"No!" Space was the last thing she needed at the moment. "You shouldn't... I just..." She groaned softly, blush creeping up her visor again. "I want you to be here..."

"Alrighty!" He did a mock salute, retracting his wings. His expression softened once more as his hands reached for hers. "I won't leave you, Uzi. I promise."

The melody blared through the headphones, covering every other sound. The slightly high-pitched voice sang:

If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

I'm an angel with a shotgun

Fighting til' the war's won

I don't care if Heaven won't take me back!

I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Don't you know you're everything I have?

"Ooh, what are you listening to?"

"NOTHING!" She threw her headphones against the wall. "Can we change the topic, please...?"

"Okay! We're all good though, right? Everything okay on your side?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm whatever. But... um... what about... you?"

"I'm doing juuuust fine!" He forced a thumbs up, but his expression was awkward. "Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about. Heavy stuff to be sure! So, there's this tape..."

As N began to speak about a new lead regarding his memories, Uzi's core still hummed with the lyrics, making it difficult to concentrate. The gross feelings stirred by the song refused to go away, lingering like a stubborn glitch in her system. Still, she gradually managed to move it to the back of her mind. For a while.

She just had to make sure N never listened to 'Angel With A Shotgun'.

Chapter Text

The two of them sat on her bed, Uzi leaning her back onto N as her headphones blared nightcore metal in her hearing sensors. She fiddled with the hem of her hoodie while he held onto her shoulders, his chest softly vibrating from humming a melody Uzi didn't recognize. It was one of the 'quiet' moments they spent basking in each other's presence after a much-needed break from the chaos of daily life in the bunker. Many things were changing rapidly and despite having defeated Cyn, the future looked uncertain.

And that's not even thinking about... what the heck is inside me. It pops up only when I'm alone, though... More excuse to be with N, AND NOT BE GROSS ABOUT IT. It's just to keep the demons at bay.

A familiar song started playing, her nostalgia generators activating. It'd been a hot minute since she listened to 'Angel With A Shotgun'; she recalled simpler, yet more difficult times. The lyrics that made her confront just how much N meant to her... Wasn't that a milestone of some sort? An important event, lodged between hardships and horrors which she couldn't help but look back fondly upon, if not get outright flustered.  

Against her better judgment, she tugged on his sleeve and asked him to grab the earphones. "I want you to listen to something, but it's embarrassing, so... you know," she mumbled so softly, she couldn't hear herself over the music.  

He replied, but she was fricking certain he'd called her yet another pet name. He'd gotten his hand on some weird, weird books and he kept using words from them to show his unending love. She was starting to regret wanting to listen to that song with him; if he'd figured it out she would have been in for one of the cringiest moments of her life. However, lowkey, she had to do it, for herself. She wished to show N this side of her, even if skillfully masked.

Popping the other earphone in, Uzi tensed up from top to bottom while he listened with a goofy smile on his face.

Sometimes to win, you've got to sin

Don't mean I'm not a believer

And Major Tom will sing along

Yeah, they still say I'm a dreamer!

Wasn't the act of showing him a song from her playlist... deeply personal? She hadn't shown anyone before because nobody liked her, and she wasn't close with them either, so the opportunity never arose. Usually, it was just her wearing those headphones to escape the rest of the world- it was an integral part of herself, this escapism. It defined her.  

This isn't just about the song anymore, is it? I'm letting him into my deepest, darkest corner... I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't like it. Still, I feel silly for thinking that. It's N, duh. He likes anything. WHICH, if he doesn't like this, that will make it all the more terrible! It'll mean I'm just that much of a freak. Thanks for that, anxiety! Great work! Can't even spend some time with my BOYFRIEND without you butting in, huh???

"Hey, this is pretty cool!" He gave a thumbs up, wearing a sheepish smile. "Can we listen to it again?"

Uzi let out the longest sigh of relief as she wiped off the digital sweat pooling in her visor. "Sure, I guess...? You don't wanna listen to anything else?"

"Oh, no, it's alright! This is the first time you've shown me anything from your super cool secret playlist so I, uh, wanna make the most of it...?" He comically raised his tone at the end, face cringing at the sight of her expression. "Aw, shucks. I wasn't supposed to tell you that, was I?" He chuckled awkwardly and finger gunned out of nervousness.  

Oh robo-jesus, he caught on, he caught on! ABORT, ABORT, GRAB THE EARPHONES AND THE PLAYER AND DESTROY THEM AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Riiiiight." She finger gunned back with a misplaced smile, her other hand pressing the play button. Uzi let the melody wash over her to deafen the other thoughts. Her mind sang along, angel with a shotgun, fighting til' the war's won ... But as the song neared its end, it seemed her mind turned to mush as she found herself asking aloud without filtering beforehand, "N, do you have a shotgun?"  

"A shotgun? I do, but I don't get to use it much anymo- oh." His visor showed a lightbulb for a brief moment before his smile widened up to his hearing sensors, his front, sharp teeth on full display. "You think I'm the angel from the song???"  

Uzi felt like a metal pipe dropped on her. "I- what? NO! No, no, no, no, forget everything you heard!" She flailed her arms, hands pressed against his face in an attempt to get him to stop talking. It wasn't working and one of her fingers ended up in his mouth, ew. She was the only one who recoiled from that.  

"Wait, I think you're right! Can we listen to it again, please, please, pleaseeee? I wasn't listening to the lyrics all that well!" He clasped his hands, eyes morphing into two, cute little pixel puppies... Uzi didn't know what to feel about him not caring about the lyrics? Then again, not like she was any better, she only liked the song because it had cool-sounding instruments and nothing else. However, one more moment and he'd have started whining. Yep, there he went, "Please? Pookie?"

"I told you not to call me that..." She crossed her arms and bumped her head against his chest, leaning back onto him. If she'd looked at him he'd have seen her glorious blush.

"Honeypie...? Babe-a-tron?"

"UGHHH, FINE! If it'll get you to stop."

N squealed as the melody started playing again . After the first verse he exclaimed, "Wow, this song really is me!" Slowly but surely, he began to hum, all while playing with Uzi's hair to the rhythm. It was when the second chorus hit... things changed and for a short moment, she believed she was hearing things.

" I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting til' the war's won, I don't care if Heaven won't take me back~" He sang softly towards her earphoneless side, able to enjoy himself while not stepping on her toes too much. " I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe~" As the next lyric hit, he cupped her cheek and stared lovingly into her eyes, really driving home the message. " Don't you know you're ~everything~ I have? "

She held back an unholy screech, covering her face and bringing her knees to her chest. It was too much so she couldn't help her feet lightly kicking the bed in both glee and embarrassment.  

" And I~~~ " his voice creaked. Poor N, he could barely reach the notes, but his gentleness was unparalleled. " Wanna live, not just survive~ With you... " He finished off with a bang, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head and hugging her close.  

She rolled her eyes even though she was furiously heating up. "Dummy, that's not the right lyric."  

He could hear him smile. "Well, I think it's more fitting this way."  

Ohhh, the things this absolute mega dork is doing to me! How dare he sing like that?! Does he have no dignity??? AAAAAHHHH, this is so gross, I'll explode...! The fact I'm relishing in this is even yuckier!  

"It's really weird, but in a good way, I think! How this song is just... describing me? You were the one who made me rebel in the first place! And after that, it was fighting for my own life, but most of what I did was fueled by you. The things I'd do for you, haha!" He made a silly face, lightly bonking himself on the head as if he wasn't saying the most embarrassing things ever in the most nonchalant way. "And, you're everything to me! I couldn't bear seeing you hurt, at all! I'd rather... put everything in my life into question than ever hurt you, Uzi," he whispered in a soft tone, staring into her eyes as fingers interlocked with hers. If robots could breathe, she was sure she'd have long forgotten how to.  

N squeezed her hand as he kissed her forehead through the bangs, followed by a light giggle. "Although, I don't know who Major Tom is, and I'm not sure about being a dreamer, but yeah. This describes me pretty well. I'm really glad you showed me this, Uzi."  

The sudden silence startled her; with feelings having gone into overdrive, she couldn't make heads or tails of them anymore. She only focused on his touch and the outline of his face, his soft gaze, and an unnatural burning desire to reciprocate nested itself into her core. "N, I..." Uzi stared down, already scrapping most of what she was about to say because it wouldn't have risen to the standards he set. So, he helped her out.

"You're my angel with a shotgun?"  

If love is what you need.. .  

"...Yeah." She nodded into his coat, avoiding to look at him. It was starting to get a little overwhelming, their closeness, but at the same time she wanted nothing more than to sink so deep into it she'd have never come back. Her own little black hole called N...  

"Can I be yours too?" He asked, way too excited.  

She bumped her fist against his chest, snorting. "Dork. You've always been."

To which he let out a downright angelic laugh, she thought. Then, they sat together accompanied by the melody, their earlier conversation amplifying the experience. N began to run his fingers through her hair and she barely felt his heat; it made for a healthy compromise when Uzi got overwhelmed with touch, he was still close to her and she could feel him as well, but just a little bit less, so she could recharge. It was incredible how he just understood her and could instantly tell when she needed the space. She never wanted those moments to end- in fact, she would fight to keep them coming. Get out her guns if it meant she could stick by N, though not that she had any. The genius use of the lyrics made her cackle quietly, but bite her if she admitted it out loud anytime soon.  

"Hey, angel? Can this be our song?"  

"If you ever call me that again-" She cut herself off, taken aback by what he asked. I mean... Didn't we already reach the consensus that's kinda what it is, because it describes us both??? Hell, we're calling each other angels with shotguns now! Whatever, anyone who finds this stupid can bite me AND him! Still, it'd be nice if nobody knew, though...

"On one condition: it stays in this room."  

" Gonna hide~ hide~ hide my wings tonight~ " He winked. She gently told him to shut up, also giggling herself.

It did not stay in that room. N started singing it absentmindedly in public after listening to it for so long, and when asked about it he immediately spilled the beans. He realized he messed up when Uzi got her revenge by forcing him to listen to 'Angel With A Shotgun' nonstop for an entire day. 'See if you feel like singing it now, huh?!'

Despite that, Uzi kept sharing her songs, but nothing was quite like the first one. He would still hum 'Angel With A Shotgun' to her every once in a while and they would both know exactly what it meant.