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Chapter Text

Chapter One - Episode 0

< a wide shot of a home with a well cared for lawn and a Kia 8 seater minivan parked in the spotless concrete>

Narrator: Nestled in the center of Seongbuk-dong the Kim family stands out amongst their neighbors. The neighborhood is home to numerous families but none so loud as the Kim’s.

Narrator: the patriarch of the family, Kim Hongjoong is a successful designer for idols and celebrities. The matriarch, Kim Seonghwa, a retired model and best selling author of his book, “A Clean Home for a Family.”

Hongjoong: I love my kids, I really do-

Hongjoong: -but sometimes they get a little out of control.

Seonghwa: we wanted to do this show to expose the kids to other parenting styles, and to expose us to new things.

Hongjoong: Our parenting style definitely needs some - help-

Seonghwa: It needs some reworking.

Hongjoong: Yeah reworking…

< The eldest son sits on his blue blanket in his room, there are Harry Potter posters on the wall>

Narrator: The Eldest in the Kim family is Yunho.

Director: How is it being the oldest?

Yunho: I like being the oldest but it also comes with many difficulties.

Yunho: I always walk my siblings to school but they don’t always cooperate.

Seonghwa: Wooyoung does have a bit of a hitting problem, we’ve been working on it, but nothing seems to work.

San: I love my little brother, but I don’t like it when he hits me. It makes me sad.

 

Director: More and more Koreans are choosing not to have kids, how do you feel about the prejudices against large families?

Seonghwa and Hongjoong look at each other before reaching to intertwine their hands.

“We understand that some might find six children a bit too much, but we think that if you love them enough, and want to raise a good family it’ll work out.” Seonghwa calmly explained.

“Plus a country needs children to survive if no one has kids then there eventually will be no population.” Hongjoong added.

Director: How would you feel if we told you that you have the fewest children this season?

The looks on Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s faces said the answer themselves and became a reaction photo with the caption. “WTF” and “HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE”

 

Narrator: Minho takes control of the home while his mother is away at work.

Narrator: Minho does most of the housework so that his mother doesn’t have to do it.

Director: Do you resent your mother for working more than he is home?

Minho: Why would I? He works because he needs to, everyone needs to do their part.

Narrator: The matriarch of the family, Bang Chan, a busy producer works almost 12 hours every single at work, leaves around 9 am, and gets home around 9:30 pm.

Narrator: once home Mr. Bang works another two hours until he finally goes to bed.

Director: Why did you decide to do the show?

Chan: I think I need to see something different, and I think the kids need something different too. I know I’m not being a good mother, but I also don’t know what to do.

Director: What do you think the other families will be like?

Chan: I’m not sure, I don’t suppose there will be another single parent though…

Narrator: Choi Seungcheol and his 12 boys live in these cramped rooms.

Director: Is this the life you wanted for your family?

Seungcheol: Are you blind?

A five-year old Chan jumps on his dad’s lap.
“Appa come play with me!” “In a moment Dino.”

Seungcheol: My ex, was - well is a (censored). I can’t sugarcoat that. I can only do the best I can for my sons. I’m hoping this show will be a good opportunity for all of us.

“Appa please play with me.” Chan says again, his eyes eager and excited. “I will son.”

Narrator: The eldest in this family are the twins Jeonghan and Jisoo.

Director: How would you describe your family?

Jisoo: Large and chaotic and a bit-

Jeonghan: Poor, I know that’s the answer you’re looking for. You don’t have to patronize us.

Jisoo looks at his twin with horror.

Director: Why did you choose to adopt when you already had several children?

Seungcheol scowls slightly.

Seungcheol: I used to work as a social worker for an adoption agency, I was on a business trip. I met Jun and Minghao, the two were inseparable but no one wanted to adopt them for various reasons, I decided to do it so they’d have a loving home. My ex wife did not like my decision.

Director: How would you describe your family?

The three look at each other.

Soonyoung: Loving, we really love and care about each other.

Soonyoung pulls Wonwoo in a hug which he reluctantly accepts as Jihoon looks at them dumbfounded.

Jihoon: They’ll be at each other’s throats in about two minutes.

Narrator: This season on Parent swap we will see just how the large families deal with the stress of life. We will see how different incomes, jobs, and priorities affect the family unit and what discipline actions work best.

*theme song plays*

Narrator: Don’t miss one second of Parent Swap…. Large Family Addition

 

•••••

 

“Are we really doing this Joong?” Seonghwa asked as he lay in his husband and mate’s arms.

“It’s a bit late to back out ‘Hwa but if you really think it’s a bad idea I can call the director and say we decided not to do it.”

Seonghwa grabbed on to Hongjoong’s keeping him from moving on the bed, “Don’t, it’s a good opportunity, everything will be fine.”

Hongjoong sighed, “It’s ok to be nervous love.”

“I know that.”

“I’ll be by your side the entire time, don’t worry so much.”

“Don’t worry yourself I know you were pacing through the kitchen last night. And two days ago I saw you checking on the kids around 10.” Seonghwa let go of Hongjoong and started to shift away from him on the bed.

“I needed to make sure the kids were ok. They’re growing up so fast, a month is a long time to be away from them.” Hongjoong sat up on the bed and stared at his mate’s back that faced him.

“Are you sure you’re not the one having second thoughts about this?” Seonghwa slouched.

“No, I think we should do it. I just know that it will be hard, after all they normally pair families together that have little in common, all we know is that there will be two families that are larger than ours.” Hongjoong maneuvers himself to be closer to Seonghwa, wrapping his arms around him from behind.

“Joong, we have six children, we struggle with that number, how is any more possible?”

Hongjoong leaves a gentle kiss on his mate’s mating mark. “Hwa relax it will be ok. We’ll read the other parents’ manuals carefully. It will be just fine. Now come sleep before you worry yourself to death.”

 

•••••

 

“And you’re positive that you’ll be fine with the kids and whoever the new parents are?” Bang Chan asked Minho earnestly.

“Eomma, realistically can they be worse than Appa?”

Chan looked down at his lap, his eldest son, only 14, was often the only voice of reason. It made the omega incredibly guilty to be relying on his son so heavily.

“Eomma, don’t look like that. You did something incredibly difficult, this show will be good for you, good for all of us.”

“You were against the show at the start.”

Minho scoffed, “That’s only cause Jinnie filled out an application without even asking you, everyone loves Parent Swap.”

“I didn’t even know about the show until I got the email though.”

Minho stared at his mother with an open mouth, “Eomma you work too much.”

“I know, but what else am I supposed to do?”

“You’ll figure it out, just don’t let the other kids think you’re a boomer. You had me at 19 you’re young still.”

“Don’t remind me of that, and don’t be following my example.”

Minho rolled his eyes, “I thought you always say I’m the best thing that ever happened to you?”

“Having kids was the best thing, I don’t have a favorite child.”

Minho got up from the coach and skipped off to his room, “It’s ok Eomma we all know Jeongin’s your favorite.”

 

•••••

 

Seungcheol lay uncomfortably on the yo with Chan in his arms, Seungkwan sleeping peacefully in front of him, and Hansol sleeping next to him on the makeshift bed he made on the living floor every night.

It was embarrassing to open his home to the strangers of the camera crew, directors, and the new parents that would be with his boys. The thought initially sickened him, but the pay was surprisingly good and with Jeonghan and Jisoo approaching 17 he wanted to provided them with a few thousand won for college.

It was funny how time passed so quickly.

16 years ago he had just been 17 when his then girlfriend now ex wife told him that she was pregnant and that he was the father. Frankly at the time Seungcheol had firmly believed they could make a family work. He dropped out of school to get a job cleaning a social workers office, eventually becoming one himself after he got his GED and passed the exam at 23 just in time for Seokmin to be born.

It wouldn’t be until Seungcheol had decided to adopt Jun and Minghao that his wife’s true colors became clear to him.

It should have been clear after the third time she became pregnant after she swore she was on birth control or even when Cheol found that the condoms he had just bought all mysteriously disappeared or had holes in them.

The last straw had been when Cheol found out that she had been forcing Jeonghan and then Jun to grow their hair out long, for them to eat next to nothing, and then entertain elder men in short skirts and flouncy blouses.

Somehow that hadn’t even been the end of her tempestuous behavior when it was revealed during the trial that she was once again pregnant.

The trial has finally settled after the birth of their last and final child Chan.

Seungcheol held his youngest closer. He knew they lived in shitty conditions, but he also knew that there was little he could do to make them better. He worked two jobs, if he worked another one he’d never be home, and him hardly being home was the reason why his ex had been able to get away with everything she did for so long.

And yet Cheol was about to do leave his kids for a whole month for about a year’s worth of salary.

Maybe he was a shitty person too.

Chapter Text

Hongjoong and Seonghwa nervously got out of the car that took them to the front of an old apartment in Wonju. The trip had taken a little over an hour, the entire time the couple had no clue where they were going until they saw signs for Wonju.

The director had given them the keys for apartment 5E. As the couple made their way up the five flights of stairs because the building had no elevator it became clear that this family was not well off.

The apartments were close together and an odd odor clung to the hallway carpet. The pair looked at each other nervously as the opened the door, the door hit resistance when they found the entry way was covered in shoes. Once the pair squeezed their luggage in the room Seonghwa tried to not immediately put the shoes in the cabinet that was right by the door and not all the way full.

Hongjoong looked around the small apartment taking notice where the cameras were.

On the right of the entryway was a small living room with a long coach that looked to have had better days. A small tv was on top of a brown bookcase that was cramped with books, board games and DVDs, in the corner of the room there was a large pile of mats, blankets, and pillows. On the farthest wall of the living room held a balcony that had clotheslines full of drying clothes.

Seonghwa examined the walls in the living room to find family pictures. “They have a large extended family.” He smiled softly as he turned around to find the kitchen.

It had limited counter space, a small fridge and only two burners. There was shelving above the counters that seemed to be ready to fall down with how many dishes they were holding. In between the tall pantry cabinet and the bathroom door there were three folded tables of varying sizes.

“They must put them in the middle here for a table.” Hongjoong gestured to the middle of kitchen. Seonghwa nodded and checked the bathroom, it was nothing spectacular and probably hadn’t been deep cleaned in a good ten years but it wasn’t filthy but what was odd was the amount of toothbrushes.

“Interesting.”

“There’s only two bedrooms ‘Hwa, how are they supposed to fit at least seven kids here?”

Right the Kim family had the fewest children.

“Check the bedrooms Joong.”

Hongjoong opened the bedroom right next to the bathroom. There were two sets of bunkbeds pressed up against the corners of the room. There was a small desk in the other corner and a closet that couldn’t close. The beds had been attempted to be made, but there were clothes, books, and various toys shrewn about.

There was English study books on the desk, and a small cd player with Yes or Yes inside.

“How old do you think these kids are?” Seonghwa asked. “I think there’s a mix, that’s an advance level English book, but the clothes on the floor would fit Yeosang.” Hongjoong replied before leaving to investigate the next room which looked strikingly similar to the first one.

“That’s weird.” Seonghwa and Hongjoong look at the other two sets of bunkbeds, the clothes and toys on the ground and the same type of desk this time with Chinese literature and children’s storybooks on top.

“Where do the parents sleep?”

“I guess in the living room.” The couple swallowed and made their way to the couch, again noticing the floor mats and pillows stuffed in the corner.

“Eight kids is insane, and in this apartment, how is that even possible?” Seonghwa felt as if he was about to cry. Hongjoong drapes his arm over his mates shoulder, “Hey it’s ok, let’s just read the manual.”

Seonghwa weakly nodded and pulled the small booklet that rested on a dresser that was being used as an end table.

He opened the first page only for his jaw to drop. On the front there was the same family photo that was on the wall above the tv. “I don’t think they are extended family, I think all of them are in one family.” Seonghwa almost whispers.

Hongjoong leans in to count.

13 people.

13 people in one four room apartment.

“Give it to me, I’ll read it.” Hongjoong gently takes the pamphlet from Seonghwa’s shaking hands.

‘My name is Choi Seungcheol, I am 33 years old and I have 12 sons.’ Hongjoong paused for Seonghwa’s sake. “He’s our age.” Hongjoong didn’t say anything to Seonghwa’s comment and continued reading.

‘I never thought I’d end up with a dozen children but that’s what happened. My ex wife was a (censored). We got a divorce 5 years ago when she was tried for (censured) marketing of (censored) and child (censured). Since then I changed my job from working as a social worker to working at a school supplies company on the weekdays and as a dishwasher on the weekends, my life focus is now to ensure that my kids can have as normal a life as possible but it’s hard when there’s barely enough money for food and taking another job would mean I’d never see my kids, perhaps I’m just selfish.’

Seonghwa wants to cry at the admission of someone’s inner thoughts. “I can stop ‘Hwa.” “No, keep going. You have to keep reading.”

‘I love my twelve sons very much but I can understand that it’s a little daunting to meet twelve strangers. I tried my best to describe each one of my sons in the family portion.’

“Do you want me to read that now, or the schedule?”

“Just go in order.”

“Ok.”

‘Weekdays
6:00 am - rise and take shower
6:15 am - make breakfast
6:45 am - make sure Jeonghan, Jisoo, and Soonyoung are awake (Jun always wakes up by himself and sometimes wakes up earlier than I do to shower)
7:00 am - breakfast should be on the table
7:15 am - clean living room and get Chan and Seungkwan ready (sometimes Hansol and Minghao need help too it depends on the day)
7:45 am - latest time the kids can leave for school
8:00 am - Go to the grocery store down the street and go home
8:45 am - Go to work
12:00 pm - Lunch
5:55 pm - leave work
6:15 pm - make dinner
7:00 pm - serve dinner
8:00 pm - spend time with kids
10:00 pm - make bed
10:10 pm - Put Chan, Hansol, Seungkwan and Minghao to bed.
10:45 pm - make sure Mingyu and Seokmin are in bed
11:30 pm - make sure Jeonghan, Jisoo, Jun, Jihoon, Wonwoo, and Soonyoung are sleeping or studying. (If they are studying encourage them to sleep if they have already been studying since before I got home)
12:00 am - sleep

Weekends
4:00 am - rise
4:15 am - make breakfast, eat and put the rest in the fridge.
4:30 am - leave for work
11:50 am - leave work
12:00 pm - get home and make lunch.
12:45 pm - serve lunch
1:30 pm - spend time with kids. (Normally we go to the library or a park or a free dance studio that gives free lessons to some kids)
6:00 pm - make dinner
7:00 pm - serve dinner
8:00 pm - spend time with kids
10:00 pm - make bed
10:10 pm - Put Chan, Hansol, Seungkwan and Minghao to bed.
10:45 pm - make sure Mingyu and Seokmin are in bed
11:30 pm - make sure Jeonghan, Jisoo, Jun, Jihoon, Wonwoo, and Soonyoung are sleeping
11:45 pm - sleep

Grocery list
Rice
Tofu
Vegan Kimchi (Jun can’t have seafood)
Seaweed
Carrots
Chicken(if on sale)
Mushrooms
Eggs
Cucumbers
Sweet potatoes
Onions
Garlic
Frozen rice cakes
Beef (if on sale)

For breakfast it’s almost always fried or boiled eggs with rice and kimchi, sometimes if there’s a lot of carrots or cucumbers we’ll have those as well.
For lunch on the weekends it’s leftovers but if we have nothing then it’s normally sweet potatoes and rice
For dinner I try and make a vegetable or meat soup, sometimes with rice cakes or dumplings inside, with two banchan plus kimchi and rice. The banchan I make the most are cucumber salad, braised potatoes, and seasoned spinach.
On Sunday afternoons the boys and I make Gimbap so they can have snacks throughout the week.

I try and stay under 60,000 won for food every week, but it’s very difficult with 13 people to feed.’

The couple had to take a break after reading the budget.

“How is that even possible?” Seonghwa had already shed several tears but was now close to sobbing. Hongjoong hugged his made closely. “We can’t do anything about it, you can’t feel bad.”

“But I do-“

“Seonghwa we worked very hard to get to where we are, and we did not have as many unexpected and unfortunate things happen to us, our life hasn’t been perfect and we can’t discount our own struggles but we can’t feel guilty for other people having difficulties.”

The two stayed in each other’s arms for several minutes until they were able to continue.

‘Jeonghan and Jisoo are twins but very different, they are both 16 and they enjoy messing with people, when they were five they decided to switch places no one found out for an entire week. But besides that they aren’t that similar.
Jeonghan is clever and quick witted he always does tasks slowly but does them well. He’ll say he doesn’t want to do something for someone and then do it anyway with no expectation of thanks. He’s recently become a lot quieter and has been studying less. I wish the two of us were closer but it’s been difficult.
Jisoo is bright and makes us laugh with little difficulty. He studies hard even if he’s not the best in school. He’s been studying English so he can become a flight attendant. Jisoo has very good manners and often times keeps his brothers in line and makes sure they get on the right bus.
Junhui (we call him Jun) was adopted from China when he was 8. The doctors claimed he used to have a speech impediment so no one wanted to adopt him. Jun has been doing some modeling work which I don’t like very much but he likes having some extra cash, he tries to give me the money but I always give it back. He does very well in school but doesn’t study much and instead helps Minghao study. He helps me cook a lot especially in the morning because he wakes up early.
Soonyoung is loving and protective. He does his best to take care of his younger brothers. He’s very passionate about things and does weekend dance lessons when he’s able. He’s a very good dancer and I wish I could pay for him to have lessons everyday. He’s had an obsession with tigers since he was young and still sleeps with a tiger plushie. He loves making people laugh.
Wonwoo is very quiet most times but has recently started opening up more. I think my ex wife really hurt him but he won’t talk to me and very few people so I’m not sure about the best way to help him. He is very smart and enjoys reading and doing his homework but he can often go days without speaking and it worries me. His teachers say that as he matures he will talk more but I’m not sure that’s true.
Jihoon is very stubborn and very creative. He used to play the clarinet but gave it up and still hasn’t told me why. He used to get into fights which I originally thought was his fault but after my ex left I learned that many of the fights he was in was him protecting his brothers or himself. It made our relationship very strained but slowly we’ve been mending it. He doesn’t have many friends and his teachers say he has anger issues but when we went to a therapist they said he was fine, so I’m still trying to figure out the best course of action.
Seokmin is my little sunshine. He is very loud and is always singing something but I really don’t know what I’d do without him. He has struggles in school because he doesn’t like sitting still but he really does always try his best. He’s always been good at realizing when others are struggling and most of the time knows more than he lets on, he shouldn’t give you any trouble.
Mingyu is the little man of the house. He’s the one that will do chores without being asked and normally enjoys doing them, except make his bed(I have no idea why he hates doing that so much). Sometimes he takes things apart which has been an issue but he hasn’t done that for about two years so I think he’s are past that. His brothers tease him a lot but he’s fine unless he’s actually crying then something is seriously wrong. He likes to think of himself as the protector of his younger siblings.
Minghao was adopted when he was 1. His parents were killed in a fire when he was a few months old, he still has some burn marks on his hands and has an inhaler from smoke inhalation, the inhaler is located in the top drawer of the dresser in the living room. He is quite around people he doesn’t know but branches out once he knows you. He used to sleep with me in the living room but has recently started sleeping with Jun. He will give you lots of looks but he’s just trying to intimidate you because he doesn’t know you.
Seungkwan needs a lot of attention. A lot of parents have told me that I give him too much attention but my ex wife hated him and would purposefully leave him home alone when he could do nothing for himself so I make sure he knows he’s loved everyday. He talks a lot and asks a lot of questions. He loves Twice and Girls Generation and will sing Likey Likey, Gee, Feel Special, TT, Party, Ooo ah, Hoot and probably every song the groups have ever released on repeat. I want to get him and Seokmin into vocal lessons but there’s no place where they have free workshops for kids. When Seungkwan isn’t talking then he is coloring with Minghao and still chatting. DO NOT GIVE HIM COFFEE. He will ask and ask but you cannot give it to him under ANY circumstance! He sleeps in the living room with me.‘

Hongjoong and Seonghwa laughed at the seemingly random outburst about coffee before moving on to the last two

‘Hansol is on both sides of the extreme. One day he’s quiet and spends his time with Wonwoo and other days he talks just as much as Seungkwan. He cannot have peanuts but if for some reason he ingests them he has an epipen next to Minghao’s inhaler. Hansol likes watching educational programs about animals, and likes checking out books on the same thing, he will ask you to read to him before bed but if he asks for one book than he usually means two. He can’t stand sweet smells like carmel or cotton candy, I think it has something to do with my ex. He sleeps in the living room with me.
Chan is my baby and I probably baby him too much but it’s hard not too. He’s a very sweet child but he has plenty of energy and always wants to play with his green dinosaur. I call him Dino because he loves dinosaurs so much, he needs his dinosaur to sleep. He is the pickiest eater but he will always eat rice at least. I can normally get him to eat one slice of a rolled omelet and a few spoonfuls of rice but sometimes he’ll only eat rice. I’ve talked to other parents and they say just force him to eat but I don’t really think that’s the best way. Chan loves snuggling and especially likes rich smells. He also sleeps with me in the living room.’

The couple slouched, backs to the coach, “I feel like I’m in school all over again.” Hongjoong rubs his head as if everything he read made his head hurt.

“How are we supposed to memorize all of this in -“ he glanced at his watch it was nearing 4 so the kids would be home in around 20 minutes, “- twenty minutes?!”

“I don’t know, let’s start with the inhaler and epipen, make sure we know where they are and then find a photo album so we can put names to faces.”

“Good idea love.”

In the dresser just like the pamphlet said there was the inhaler and the epipen along with instructions on how to use both. On the bookshelf that held the small tv there was a photo album that looked like it had seen better days.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa quickly flipped through it noticing that the woman in the photos had been scribbled out. “That woman must have been terrible.”

Just as the pair was thinking they were able to put names to three faces the door open and 12 boys ages 5 to 16 stumbled in.

“Don’t block the doorway.”
“Kinda hard not to.”
“Move your big head.”
“Move your big feet.”
“Your feet are way bigger.”
“No they aren’t!”
“Yeah they are!”
“Why do we have so much homework we already have tests tomorrow.”
“Don’t complain I have a project due tomorrow and I haven’t started.”
“Whose fault is that?”
“Uh Guys.”
“Don’t rub it in.”
“I’m hungry.”
“GUYS!”

The boys shut their mouths after Jisoo or maybe it was Jeonghan shouted at them to look at Seonghwa and Hongjoong.

The boys all bowed carefully with varying levels of enthusiasm and said hello.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong bowed back, “Hello, my name is Kim Hongjoong and this is my mate Kim Seonghwa.” The boys inched closer.

“You smell nice mister.” One of the younger ones, he didn’t look Korean, said to Seonghwa. “Thank you dear.”

“Hansol you can’t just say that to people.” One of the older brothers said, his eyes were very even on his face and he had a tiger keychain hanging from his bag… Soonyoung maybe.

“It’s completely fine, I don’t mind.” Seonghwa said.

“You have nice rings.” Another young one, he was very round said to Hongjoong. Hongjoong held out his hand so the child
Could see better. “Thank you I designed a few of them myself.” The child awed in amazement.

“Well you know our names could we get all your lovely names?” Seonghwa asked pleasantly.

“Didn’t you read the manual, why do you need us to tell you?” At first Seonghwa thought the kid was one of the younger ones due to how short he was but with the tone and stare he was using he was definitely a tween.

“Yes but there wasn’t a picture of each of you so we might be able to guess since we know your names but don’t know which name belongs with who.”

The tween seemed unimpressed and didn’t respond.

“Ok then, I’ll go-“

“My name is Choi Seungkwan I am 8 years old and I FEEL SPECIAL!” He started singing and dancing until one of the older ones, he had glasses pulled him aside, “Seungkwan we are going to go in order so it’s easier to remember.”

“But I’m all the way at the end, they won’t remember that.”

“I won’t forget you Seungkwan.” The child seemed to light up at the older’s words, briefly jumping up and down while grabbing one of his brother’s hands before being berated by another brother. “Seungkwan stop jumping you know how Mrs. An is.”

Seungkwan started to silently pout and the brothers began introductions.

“I’m Jeonghan and that’s Jisoo. We are both 16.” The twins looked very similar to each except Jeonghan’s hair was slightly longer on the side and his uniform was a bit untidy. The twins bowed slightly again and the couple followed suite. There was a brief moment of silence before Jeonghan nudged a boy slightly taller than himself.

“Oh we’re just going to go in order.” The boy murmured. “I’m Jun, I’m 15 and I’m leaving soon.” He looked down at his watch. “In 15 minutes.”

“For a photoshoot?” Seonghwa guessed. Jun, slightly taken aback nodded. “Your father mentioned it in the manual. I used to work as a model as well.” Jun still in shock was overshadowed when another brother introduced himself, “I’m Soonyoung I’m also 15 but Junnie is older, we aren’t twins like Hannie and Jisoo though. Junnie was adopted when he was eight and-“

“Hyung stop rambling.” The one with glasses spoke up, “I’m Wonwoo, I’m 13.” Soonyoung seemed like he was going to say more until the tween butted in. “I’m Jihoon, I’m 12.” He stopped off to his room.

“Jihoon get back here!” Jisoo called.

“Don’t mind him he’s always like that. I’m Seokmin but everyone calls me Minnie, I’m 10!” He spoke excitedly and full of energy.

“I’m Mingyu, I’m 9, and I think you’re really pretty Mister, and I think you have really cool socks.” Hongjoong looked at his socks, not even realizing they had tiny cherries on them, a birthday gift. “Thank you Mingyu, they were a gift from my son Yunho.”

“Do you have a lot of sons Mr Kim?”

“We have six boys.”

The eleven gathered boys shared looks, “So you have a large family too.”
“Are any our age?”
“How old are you?”
“Minnie you can’t just ask them that.”
“Why not?”
“Guys can we not get through introductions without interrupting each other?” Jeonghan seemed tired with the rest of his brothers, Jun looked down at his watch nervously.

“Well to answer your questions, we are both 33-“ Seonghwa started before being interrupted.

“So you’re the same age as Appa.”

“Kwannie-“

Seonghwa grabbed Hongjoong’s hand which he gently squeezed the two could already tell that this was going to be much harder than the pair had initially ever thought possible. Hongjoong picked up where his husband left off.

“Our sons are 11, 9, 7, 6, 5 and 3 years old.”

“They’re my age!” Three boys exclaimed at the same time.

“Guys! Why is this so difficult!” Jeonghan gave up and left for his room that was the bedroom closest to the bathroom.

His brothers seemed awkward for a moment until Seungkwan filled the silence.

“I’m Seungkwan, but I already told you that. This is Minghao he’s eight too but he’s older.” Seungkwan wrapped his arm in Minghao’s arm. Minghao was a thin child, almost worryingly so. The couple took notice of the faint burn marks on his hands that no doubt ran underneath the school uniform he wore.

“Why don’t you work as a model anymore?” The thin boy asked, his question clearly aimed.

“I - uh - I wanted to focus more on my family.” It was such a blatant lie so much so that the thin boy gave him a look that told him that he saw through his lie.

“Well that leaves Hansol and Chan, could you two please introduce yourselves.” Thankfully Hongjoong came to his rescue.

“I’m Hansol. I’m 7.” The child didn’t look Korean, it was strange honestly, yet the pamphlet said nothing about Hansol being adopted. Maybe the ex wife had been foreign?

“I’m Chan, I am 5.” The little boy held out his hand to show five fingers.

“Well it’s nice to meet all of you, I hope that we can all get along.”

It was odd that in the next five seconds the ten boys soon only became four boys as Jun left the apartment, Wonwoo left for his room, Soonyoung went to the bathroom and Hansol followed Jisoo who went to his room.

The five boys that were left stared at the couple.

“What do you do for work?” Seokmin asked.

“I’m a fashion designer and my mate is an author.” Hongjoong answered with practiced ease.

The boys eyes widened. “That’s why your socks are so cool!” Mingyu smiled.

“Yes I guess that’s right.”

“Can we read your book?” Seungkwan asked.

“Well you could, but it’s mainly about cleaning.”

The boys made disgusted faces. Seonghwa watched Minghao’s face stare at him never letting his eyes leave the elder’s face, it was disconcerting.

“Minnie go do your homework.” Soonyoung yelled as he came out of the bathroom. Seokmin groaned and turned dramatically.

“I don’t wanna.”

“Seokmin-ah you should do your homework.” Seonghwa chided, somehow that got the boy to go to his room with his bag and begin.

“Will you play with me?” Chan asked the couple.

“Of course bud.” Seonghwa answered easily leaving the little gathering to a spot right in front of the balcony to play with Chan’s dinosaur.

“Do you know Twice?” Seungkwan asked Hongjoong. “Yes, I’ve styled them before.”

Seungkwan just stared at him with wide eyes.

“Are you famous?” Mingyu asked.

Hongjoong laughed, “No, no I’m not.”

“Mingyu I know you have homework to do.” Soonyoung stepped out of his room.

“I did it at lunch.” Mingyu whined.

“Then come help Minnie with his.”

“He’s older why should I?”

“I can help him.” Hongjoong offered. He was no genius but had no doubt he could help with a 10 year old’s homework.

Soonyoung looked skeptical but went back in his room and let Hongjoong help.

 

Around 6 pm Seonghwa ventured into the kitchen to see what food they had to cook.

There was cooked and uncooked rice, kimchi, 10 eggs, cucumbers and some radishes that looked like they had seen better days.

Quickly Seonghwa flipped to the end of Seungcheol’s manual to the end where his recipes were.

Kimchi fried rice, with a radish soup and cucumber salad seemed like the best option although Seonghwa made sure to note that Seungcheol gave clear instructions on how to make food go further but putting water in the eggs, using extra water in the soup by using the water that was drained from the cucumbers in the soup, Seonghwa found that slightly disgusting but he did it anyway.

Around 6:30 Jun got home and asked to help as Seonghwa made dinner.

“Don’t you have homework to do?”

“I did it on the bus.”

Seonghwa gave in and let Jun set the tables up as well as finishing the cucumber salad and putting the food on the table.

While the group ate around the mismatched low tables the couple took note of the families’ particular eating habits. The younger ones with the exception of Minghao and Chan ate at a normal pace while the older ones ate almost annoyingly slow and filled the odd breaks with talking and joking, it was as if they were trying to make themselves fuller by making sure to chew each small bite twelve times before saying eight sentences, making sure the younger ones were eating, taking a sip of water and then taking another small bite and repeat the process over again.

The couple realized that it must have been a mechanism to take their minds off of not actually having enough food.

Once everyone was done Jun and Mingyu picked up. Seonghwa went to wash the dishes but was stopped by Jun. “Everyone takes turns washing the dishes but the laundry needs to be done.” Seonghwa surprised at the younger’s assertiveness went and collected laundry as Hongjoong was stuck giving Chan and Seungkwan a piggy back ride.

Seonghwa went to everyone’s room and collected their laundry, it was almost two basket fulls. He resisted the urge to straighten up the room more and instead focused on what he could do. The washing machine was located in the bathroom meaning he had to wait until Soonyoung and Wonwoo were done showering because apparently everyone showered together to save water.

Once the bathroom was free Seonghwa realized there was still laundry in the washer that hadn’t been dried and no room left on the drying rack on the balcony so he went to the balcony almost tripping over Seokmin and Vernon who were chasing each other.

Seonghwa hissed as he opened the balcony it was a hot and humid May day. Seonghwa begin taking the clothes off the drying rank jumping when he heard, “Let me help you.” Seonghwa turned to see Jun.

“You’ve already helped me today, and you had school and a shoot, go relax.” Jun didn’t budge.

“I normally help Appa with a lot, so I was just trying to keep things normal.”

“Has anyone seen the fan?” Jihoon asked from inside.

“It broke hyung.”

“Who broke it?!”

“Seungkwan.”

“No I didn’t!”

Seonghwa turned to look at the scene unfolding inside.

“Everyone calm down.” Seonghwa let out a sigh, thankfully Hongjoong had taken charge and was consoling a feisty Jihoon and an almost scared Seungkwan. His mate normally didn’t work with kids this way, normally he was too busy working. It warmed Seonghwa’s heart to see this new side of him.

“Mr Hongjoong normally doesn’t help with your kids does he.” Seonghwa turned to the voice, it was Jun stating a fact.

Seonghwa embarrassedly nodded.

“He works.”

Seonghwa started taking the clothes down and placing them in Jun’s arms.

“Don’t you work as an author?”

“I’ve only written one book, I’m working on my second but I’m primarily an eomma.”

“You said you stopped working as a model, was that because of him?”

Seonghwa stopped, his hand inches away from a piece of clothing.

“No, it was my choice, he was supportive about my decision.”

“I’m sure you were a very good model.” Jun spoke softly, “I’m sure you are as well.”

The two finished the task in silence but for once it wasn’t awkward.

Once they had taken the laundry down Jun tossed it on to the coach which had Seonghwa audible gasping because all the clothes were now wrinkled. Jun then left apparently done with his chores and went to his room, Seonghwa remained on the balcony putting up the new clothes to dry.

“Oh good.” Jisoo said beginning to sort through the laundry, separating it into three piles and then taking two of the piles to the two rooms and then giving the other pile to Hongjoong. “These are my Appa’s clothes, he puts them in the dresser.” Jisoo point and Hongjoong seemed to understand.

It was typical that during parent swap the parents would also switch clothes, meaning they didn’t bring large bags with them even though they’d be gone for a month. The show’s stylist could normally tell if one of the parents clothes wouldn’t fit the other so they would provide clothes of a similar style, there had been no clothes provided so that met that the clothes would somewhat fit.

Hongjoong took the clothes and began folding them in the small tight way Seonghwa had instructed him years before. “What are you doing?” Jisoo was still there. “I’m folding the clothes so I can put them away.”

“How’d you get them so tiny?” Jisoo knelt down on the floor where Hongjoong was to get a better look.

“I’m not that good, but Seonghwa is a bit OCD so everything has to be done a certain way. He’s gotten better but clothes have to be folded this way or he gets a bit crazy.”

Jisoo nodded along as he watched Hongjoong fold another shirt. “Give me a second.” The teen ran to grab a shirt from his room and tried to replicate the fold that Hongjoong had done. “You’re a natural.”

“Really?”

“Yes really, your folding is already better than mine.” Jisoo smiled widely, “I’m going to fold my clothes like this for now on, it takes up like no space, we might be able to close our drawers now.” Hongjoong smiled at the boys comments as he left to go repeat the folding process with the rest of his clothes.

Hongjoong now done with the laundry scouted over to the small dresser and placed the clothes inside. There wasn’t much, only about six total button down shirts two pairs of dress pants, three pairs of sweat pants, a single pair of dark jeans, a few pairs of shorts, an assortment of ties, a single suit coat, and three t shirts. Most of the undergarments were missing since they were likely the only thing Seungcheol had packed. The lack of options hurt Hongjoong’s soul as a designer, he knew he probably had too many clothes but also could tell by the feel of most of the clothes Seungcheol owned that they were well worn and had some tiny holes and some of the buttons were loose or already resown with a different color thread. Regardless of the situation Hongjoong pressed on, putting the clothes away and turning his attention back to the little ones that he had been entertaining since Seokmin had finished his homework.

He regretted not being able to do this with his own children although he suspected Seungcheol didn’t have much time to do it either as Seonghwa was diligently putting new clothes out to dry in the balcony.

Seungkwan reminded him of Wooyoung, both had a hard time stopping talking and seemed to never stop moving, although Seungkwan did not have a hitting problem. Although Hongjoong did observe that Hansol did hit his brothers whenever he was laughing but it wasn’t malevolent. Chan reminded Hongjoong of Mingi in an odd way as well. Both required a lot of attention even if it was for different reasons.

When Mingi was five he had been diagnosed with anxiety. It had been a hard diagnosis as Hongjoong had never heard of a five year old struggling with it, but the diagnoses hadn’t gotten much better throughout the years and Hongjoong and Seonghwa had been looking into getting their son therapy.

Hansol was a balance of loud and quiet, he liked to look smart and would ramble off random facts he learned, although he had an almost hatred for school, it was a bit of an enigma.

Mingyu was honestly the sweetest, very smart and very kind, his brothers definitely picked on him though. And Seokmin just wanted to see others smile and laugh.

Laughter was almost always heard in the Choi household.

It was loud, but loving.

Hongjoong loved it, but also knew that behind the laughter there was much hurt from whatever the ex wife had done.

Jun stayed close to Seonghwa and helped with many of the chores. The younger kids stayed close to Hongjoong with their minds far away from school and focused on playing. The twins seemed caught in an odd bubble of loving their families but also probably wishing their family was a bit more normal. Soonyoung was a protector, he watched his siblings carefully but was also dedicated to doing his work well.

Jihoon seemed estranged.

Hongjoong didn’t know what to make of him, but the kid was angry, so angry at nothing in particular. It was clear he had been hurt at a young age and never learned to work through it.

Wonwoo was just too quiet. But there was clearly something going on when he continued to where long sleeved pajamas even though the apartment was warm.

Hongjoong sighed and rested his head against the coach as Seonghwa sat next to him and sighed the two interlocked their fingers until Chan ran to jump on them. “Come dance with me!”

Seungkwan had grabbed the cd player from the room closest to the bathroom and had started playing Apink’s I Don’t Know. Hongjoong did not know the dance but Seonghwa seemed to know and danced well with Seungkwan and Chan as the older kids started to gather round, some like Seokmin, Mingyu and Soonyoung joined and others like the twins and Wonwoo looked on with smiling admiration.

Sure this would be difficult, but the couple knew they would do it and try and help the kids if they could and get help themselves if possible, they could only hope the same thing would be said of the others parents, and children.

 

•••••

 

Bang Chan took in the sight in front of him after the car had dropped him off in front of a well kept home.

The producer unlocked the gate and walked on to the property keeping his black duffle close.

The lawn was recently mowed, there was a car in the driveway that shown in the light. The house was a two story white home with black accents, it was slightly modern but still inviting.

Chan shuffled his way to the front porch noticing the flowers that bloomed proudly in a ceramic pot. Chan hoped he wouldn’t kill the plant during his time there.

After opening the door the producer took a brief look around. After taking his shoes off at the entrance the kitchen was in view, once in the kitchen the living room was also in view as the room was a large rectangle that was open concept. The house was spotless, Chan would have had a hard time believing anyone lived there if it hadn’t been for the family pictures and toy boxes in the room.

In the center of the front room was a hallway, on the right, a staircase that led upstairs, on the left two doors, the first a laundry room and the second a bathroom. Down the hallway was the dining room that had glass doors that led to a small porch that had a grill and a few chairs. The back yard was not large but clearly loved as there was a trampoline and three feet deep kiddie pool.

In the far right of the dining room stood a door that led to the garage.

Up the stairs on the right held the master bedroom which boasted a walk in closet and an en-suite bathroom. Right off the stairs held another bathroom. On the left of the stairs stood a hallway with two doors on the left, a door on the end and a door on the right next to the bathroom.

Chan investigated the rooms one at a time. The door closest to the stairs was a small bedroom that had two twin beds vertical to the door with two small desks functioning as nightstands. The bed closest to the door had light pink covers and a few Pokémon plushies. The other bed had blue covers and Harry Potter posters on the wall. The books on either desk were different with one desk holding some manga and the other desk holding fantasy and a few study books.

There was a dresser and closet near the door. The room was very normal with the exception of just how clean it was. Chan believed that young boys stayed in the room with the single family picture on the dresser being a family of 8, but other than that the room didn’t have the characteristic smell Chan had been familiar with boy’s rooms.

The next room on the end had a loft bed with a small bed below it. The bed on top had numerous animal plushies and the one in bottom had a few as well. There was only one desk in the room and the rest of the room was taken over by a circular play mat that had a toy box off to the side. Like the first room it was cleaner than any kids room should be.

The last bedroom again had two beds except one was clearly meant for a child under 5 and the other bed was probably meant for a kid around 10. The room had a calming presence to it with light pastels making up the color scheme. On the side with the larger bed there was a desk with a cd player, Chan checked out the music collection to find a surprisingly diverse collection ranging from Justin Bieber to BTS to Ed Sheeran to Girl’s Generation. Near the cd player was a small basket that was labeled Jongho, that held other cd’s from artists like IU, BTOB, and Day6. Chan couldn’t help but feel endeared by their music choices.

His sons had similar and different music tastes, Minho typically saying he was listening to hip-hop music but was always instead listening to Wonder Girls. Changbin was obsessed with Ariana Grande and (G)I-dol he used to say he liked Bruno Mars because it sounded edgier but Chan knew the truth. Hyunjin, was obsessed with Sam Smith, but also liked slow piano and jazz, Jisung… honesty Chan never could tell what Jisung was into. He listened to everything but could never pick a favorite. Yongbok listened to Sam Smith with Hyunjin but also loved Twice, Seungmin and Jeongin were a bit young to develop music tastes but Seungmin liked soulful music and Jeongin seemed to like older music.. Chan had no idea where he got that from but whenever God of Light Music came on the radio Jeongin was a completely different person.

Chan finished his tour with the last door which was a bathroom that held six toothbrushes and like the rest of the house was perfectly clean, Chan really didn’t know when was the last time he had been to a home so clean.

He dropped his duffle bag off in the master bedroom and then went downstairs to read the manual.

‘My name is Kim Seonghwa my alpha mates name is Kim Hongjoong the two of us are 33 and have been married for 12 years.’

Chan sighed and looked at the camera that was placed on top of the tv in the living room, “I’m older.” He said awkwardly.

‘I used to work as a model but 5 years ago the toxic and unrealistic beauty standards became too much for me as I recovered from my fifth pregnancy and was told I had to loose 80 pounds if I ever wanted to model again, this forced me down a dark path that I was only able to get through with my husband.’

Chan sucked in a breath, “Yeah - that - that doesn’t sound like a fun time.” Chan cringed at just how awkward he knew he sounded.

‘I am now a stay at home mother and published author who does his best to care for my children and family to the best of my ability. Hongjoong is a successful fashion designer who works long hours, I wish he was home more but I also know that he is the main breadwinner for the family and needs to work. I do feel that one day he will wake up and the kids will be grown and Hongjoong will have never been able to see them grow, I really hope that doesn’t happen though.’

“I guess Hongjoong and I are pretty similar. Seonghwa sounds like - well he sounds like the mate every alpha wants.” The producer spoke sadly knowing that much of what he said was probably going to be cut out of the final episode but he couldn’t help his thoughts.

Seonghwa seemed like the mate that Jinwook would have wanted, not Chan, it was never Chan.

‘Because of Hongjoong’s work schedule I do most of the housework with a little help from the kids, I try my best to be as hands on as possible and make it to as many events and functions as possible.’

The more Chan read the guiltier he felt.

When was the last time he had attended a school play? Or a talent show? Or sports game? Or even a math competition?

‘My mate and I’s life focus is to ensure that our family is well loved and well cared for, although I know that I am not the best parent and struggle with dealing with my children’s problems.

My daily weekday schedule is similar to this.
6:00 am - Rise, take shower, get dressed
6:30 am - water the plant outside then wash some rice and put it in the rice cooker.
6:45 am - wake the boys up for school
6:55 am - help Jongho get dressed.
7:00 am - switch the laundry over and finish making breakfast
7:15 am - eat breakfast
7:45 am - say goodbye to the the boys excluding Wooyoung and Jongho.
8:00 am - wash breakfast dishes make sure Hongjoong is up and knows breakfast is in the fridge.
8:15 am - drive Wooyoung and Jongho to kindergarten
8:30 am - go grocery shopping
9:15 am - go home, put the groceries away
9:30 am - make sure all the beds where made well.
9:45 am - fold laundry and put it away (I normally listen to an audiobook while doing this)
10:15 am - switch the laundry over
10:20 am - clean the bathrooms
11:20 am - make lunch and do any dinner prep
11:45 am - eat lunch
12:00 pm - wash dishes
12:15 pm - dust surfaces then vacuum and mop.
1:45 pm - tidy kitchen
2:00 pm - leave to pick up Wooyoung and Jongho
2:15 pm - pick up Wooyoung and Jongho from Kindergarten
2:30 pm - take him to the park if it’s raining or too cold take him to the library or a cafe for a small treat.
3:45 pm - pick up the boys from elementary school
4:00 pm - drop Yunho, Yeosang, and San at dance practice.
4:30 pm - go home and help Mingi with homework
5:00 pm - begin dinner
5:20 pm - boys get home (a worker at the dance studio drops them off) I make sure that the boys begin their homework
5:45 pm - eat dinner
6:20 pm - Yunho and Yeosang do the dishes while the other boys do homework or play.
6:30 pm - give Jongho and Wooyoung and bath and then our Jonghonthen Wooyoung to bed. Jongho won’t give any trouble as long as IU is playing on the cd player, Wooyoung will want you to sing to him and then might demand San go to bed too.
7:00 pm - get Mingi to take a shower or bath and then get him to bed, ask him about his day, try and get him to open up.
7:45 pm - check on Yunho and Yeosang, they normally play games or practice dancing.
8:15 pm - Yeosang and Yunho need to get ready for bed.
9:00 pm - Yeosang and Yunho should be in bed at this time.
9:15 pm - Write
10:45 pm - wash face and change
11:00 pm -Hongjoong gets home, eats dinner and goes to bed.’

 

“Wow - he - well it’s a very long routine,”

‘ Weekend Routine
For the weekends there’s a lot less structure, I just make sure that breakfast is ready by 8:30 and that the kids are in bed by their appropriate times. Hongjoong doesn’t work on Sundays so we normally go out as a family. Kimchi must be made on Saturday’

“Of course he makes his own kimchi.”

‘Hongjooong
My name is Kim Hongjoong, together with my omega mate we have been raising our six boys in a hopefully loving and supportive environment. I am well aware I do not spend as much time as I should but I am forever grateful to Seonghwa for taking such care with the family. I think he definitely stresses about cleanliness more than he should and is sometimes a little too strict with bed time but I truly don’t know where I’d be without him.

My daily schedule Monday to Saturday
7:45 am - wake up, take a shower
8:15 am - eat breakfast, kiss Seonghwa goodbye
8:30 am - leave for work
9:00 am - arrive to work
11:00 pm - leave work (Seonghwa likes to say I get home around this time but I normally don’t leave the office until this time, usually later though)
11:30 pm - get home, eat dinner
11:45 pm - go to sleep (it’s normally closer to 2 or 3 that I’m actually sleeping though but for the purpose of the program I idealized my schedule)’

Chan laughed while reading Hongjoong’s schedule, “They’re so different. Seonghwa has every half hour blocked off and Hongjoong has like three things, it’s the same as mine.”

‘Sunday Schedule
Whatever Seonghwa put’

Chan laughs again, “I think Hongjoong and I would get along great.”

‘Grocery list
Rice
Napa Cabbage
Shrimp flakes
Onions
Garlic
Chicken
Beef
Eggs
Apples
Broccoli
Cucumbers
Cheese
Tteokbokki
Radish
Mushrooms
Tofu
Seaweed
Carrots
Spinach
Jajangmyeon
Zucchini
Potatoes
Bean sprouts

There aren’t any staple dishes in the family, but I have a whole meal plan book that I follow. Most of the boys don’t like their vegetables but will eat potato pancakes and kimchi. I normally end up eating most of the vegetables although as Jongho eats more I think he’s been taking a liking to vegetables.

The weekly grocery budget is around 1,200,000 to 1,500,000 won.

Yuhno is our golden retriever, he’s only 11 but sometimes he acts closer to 15 or 16. He loves making people feel safe and loved which is why he and Mingi share a room. He does his best with his grades although it’s not his biggest priority, as long as he stays within A’s or B’s he’s doing well. When playing games he’s very competitive but doesn’t usually take it too far. He does his best to keep his little brothers in line.
Yeosang is 9, he’s very quiet with people he doesn’t know but has a great sense of humor. In our old house he shared a room with Yunho but he shares with Jongho per his own request. The two have a special bond. Yeosang likes taking care of his little brother but will sometimes sneak into Yuhno’s room at night if Jongho is having a fit. Yeosang does well in school but doesn’t have many friends, he’s had a hard time adjusting.
San, aged 7, is my energetic cuddle bug. He loves his friends and family with his whole heart and doesn’t have too much problem sharing his things which sometimes poses an issue at school but it’s normally fine. Every time he goes outside he tries to jump to reach any tree branch or bush, I let him do it as long as it’s not in a crowded space. He does fine in school but gets bored easily and has a hard time focusing sometimes. He has the habit of sneaking out of his room and coming to Joongie and I’s room for cuddles.
Mingi has always been different from his siblings. A year ago Mingi was diagnosed with anxiety which has led us to attempt many things. He is currently enrolled in elementary school but he often has to get picked up early for various reasons. He’s had a hard time with bullies but his brothers try and protect him. Mingi really is the sweetest and always tries to make people laugh even if he isn’t always funny. He just wants to be loved and to love others. Yuhno has really stepped up since Mingi’s diagnoses and become his resident protector because Mingi sometimes feels bad that he has problems so we try and make it clear that we don’t love him any less than the others.
Wooyoung is a wrecking ball. Although he’s only five he has the lungs of a grown man. He has a lot of energy, his kindergarten teachers said he should be tested for ADD and ADHD but he doesn’t have either, he just genuinely has a lot of energy. He really hates feeling excluded so he has a hard time with earlier bedtimes. He will probably try and have you focus all your attention on him. He’s been having a problem with hitting and biting people, I’ve talked to a doctor about it and they say it’s normal, although I have my doubts, I want to know the best way to deal with outbursts like this but I’ve never experienced something like it before.’

“Wooyoung sounds a lot like how Changbin was.” There’s a faint smile evident on Chan’s lips as he continues to read.

‘Jongho is my baby that sometimes acts like an old man. When he was born he had dozens of wrinkles, since then he has decided to have the music taste of an older man. He really can’t sleep without music playing. Ever since he could talk he’s been singing, when he turns 6 we are planning on enrolling him in voice lessons. He oftentimes doesn’t do much except observe and laugh at his brothers. Occasionally he will demand to join them but most of the time he rather sit in someone’s lap and just laugh, smile or give the cutest judgmental faces.’

“He honestly reminds me of my youngest Jeongin.” Chan smiled again as he checked the time, “Crap it’s already passed two.” He stands up, “I guess I need to pick up-“ he looks down at the manual again, “Wooyoung and Jongho.”

Chan leaves the house after finding the keys to the car in a small basket by the door once in the car he puts his seat belt on and types in the directions from the manual before looking at the camera set up on the dashboard. “I honestly haven’t driven since I got my license.” After almost running into the garage he added, “That was eight years ago.”

Thankfully, Chan figured out how to put the car in reverse and carefully followed the directions to the kindergarten. He joined the caravan of cars and parked once he found a spot. He walked up to the school, careful to not enter until other parents had done so. He felt very out of place, about 90 % of them were moms dressed relatively nicely, with nice smelling perform and at the very least smart clothing. He felt underdressed in his black long sleeved t-shirt, sweatpants and slides, in his defense though he did wear the exact outfit to work everyday.

The five year old class was easy to find, he asked for Wooyoung, thankfully the teacher had been alerted about the show so she knew that someone (not Seonghwa) was picking up Wooyoung.

The five year old ran up to Chan and hugged his legs. “Hi new eomma.” He said brightly before taking Chan’s hand and skipping off, “I’m gonna show you Jongie’s class.” The elder had no time to question the five year old.

Jongho was much different than Wooyoung. He did not come running up to Chan, he walked, with as much grace as a 3 year old could and stared at the omega with wide brown eyes before reaching his hands up in a silent plead to be carried.

Chan complied, “I want to be carried too!” Wooyoung jumped up and down using large pleading eyes, who was Chan to say no to them?

He carried the two out to the car. “You’re super strong new Eomma. You’re a lot stronger than my Eomma, he can’t carry both Jongie and me unless one of us is on his back!”

Chan smiled as he buckled them in their car seats. “My name is Chan, you can just call me Mr. Chan.” “Ok Eomma Chan.”

Chan sighed, that would have to do.

“Well do you want to go to-“

“You won’t believe what happened today! Yeonjun and me were playing and he started talking about his brothers and how he has a new brother and how cute he was, but I told him that no one could be cutie than my baby brother, but Yeonjun doesn’t have an Appa only an Eomma it’s weird but he says he likes his Eomma, but I told him that having an Appa is also really cool even if he doesn’t always be there -“

Chan realized that his earlier assumptions that Wooyoung and Changbin being similar were just confirmed, all Jongho did was cover his ears with his pudgy hands. Chan smiled at that, it was the same thing Hyunjin did when he was that age and Changbin couldn’t stop talking.

“Eomma Chan - Eomma Chan!”

“Yes Wooyoung-ah.”

“You are an Eomma right?”

“Uh - yes I-“

“Oh that’s good. I just remembered my real Eomma said it wasn’t good to assume people’s genders, but you smell nice, like the beach and fruit - ooo can we go to the beach?”

“Not today bud.”

Wooyoung pouted until switching the topic, “What’s our new Appa like?” Chan was glad they were at a stoplight or he might have caused an accident.

“It’s just me, no new Appa.”

“Ah so you’re like Yeonjun’s eomma. Wait are Yeonjun’s eomma?”

“Nope.”

Wooyoung looked sad, “That’s too bad -.” The five year old proceeded to talk for the next ten minutes as Jongho hummed loudly.

Chan was thankful once they arrived at the park. Wooyoung ran to the park as soon as he was free from his car seat. Jongho walked carefully with his hand in Chan’s. Wooyoung was already climbing the jungle gym and sliding down the slide.

“Swing.” Jongho pointed at the swing set, Chan simply complied to the 3 year olds wishes, making sure to keep an eye on the time. After about 12 minutes Jongho got tired of the swing and wanted to go down the slide.

Wooyoung was now swinging next to some other kids that he seemed to know. Chan made sure Jongho got on the jungle gym and watched with pride as the child giggled as he went down the slide.

“Again, again!” He clapped his hands together, Chan again complied to his request enjoying playing with the child. He rarely did this with his own children, only on holidays or birthdays because there was no other day Chan even considered taking off work. Jongho entertained himself on the slide for another ten minutes until he wanted to swing again, the only problem the swings were taken by Wooyoung and his friends.

“Uh - Wooyoung-ah would you let your brother use the swing.”

“No! He already rode the swing it’s my turn.” Wooyoung continued to swing, his friends egging him on.

“Babies can’t ride swings anyway.” One of them said.

“I’m not a baby!” Jongho protested, stomping his little foot on the ground.

“Wooyoung-ah you need to share.” Chan urged.

“No. You’re not my real eomma.”

“You can’t even be an eomma you don’t look like an eomma.” The other kid called.

“But he is an eomma,” Wooyoung’s volume changed, it was suddenly quieter and more confused, he stopped swinging, his legs just dangling.

“You can’t be an eomma and have that big of a nose.” One of the kids pointed.

Chan sucked in a breath, it had been a long time since someone had blatantly degraded Chan’s looks, he suddenly felt much younger than he really was, and unsure on how to deal with the 5 year old bullies, their parents sitting on park benches not paying any attention.

“Why not?” Wooyoung had stopped swinging at this point and was just sitting on the swing as it blew gently in the wind.

“Everyone knows eomma’s are supposed to be pretty and tiny but he has alpha muscles and an ugly face -“ Wooyoung ran from his swing to step in front of Chan, Jongho moved to run to the swing but Chan held him back.

“Let’s go.” He said but Jongho pulled on him, “I want to swing.”

“You can swing tomorrow.”

“I want to now.”

“I’ll give you a piggyback ride.” That seemed to appease Jongho as Chan reached to put the three year old on his shoulders.

Wooyoung went silent as Chan drove the two of them to the elementary school. “Alright boys we need to pick up your brothers let’s-“

“Eomma Chan.”

“Yes Wooyoung-ah.”

“I’m sorry my friends were mean.”

“Don’t apologize for other people’s mistakes kid.” Why was Chan preaching to himself now, he had apologized for his exes’ faults for almost 10 years, somehow convinced it was all his fault. The truth was the exact things those kids were saying are the same things his ex had convinced him of for years.

“Ok eomma Chan.”

“Now, can you help me find your brothers?”

Wooyoung was much happier the rest of the night, he happily showed Chan the place his brothers met to get picked up by Seonghwa.

After brief introductions the boys got in the car and began the trip to the dance studio.

“Mr Chan what’s your mate like?” San asked innocently. “Eomma Chan doesn’t have a mate he’s like Yeonjun’s eomma.”

“Who’s Yeonjun?” Mingi asked.

“He’s my friend dummy.”

“Don’t call Mingi a dummy.” Yunho cut in.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“What’s for dinner?” San interrupted the argument.

“I’m not sure yet, I haven’t checked the fridge or pantry.”

Chan noticed Yeosang whisper something to San, “Can we have chicken? Yeosang-Hyung wants chicken.”

“San-ah.” Yeosang exclaimed, clearly he hadn’t wanted Chan to know the truth.

“If there’s chicken then we can have chicken.”

The boys seemed satisfied with that answer. Once at the studio Chan waves goodbye to the boys expecting them to leave quickly, but instead they don’t move.

“Do you have any snacks Mr Bang?” Yuhno asks sheepishly.

“Snacks- um, well that wasn’t on your eomma’s schedule, so I didn’t make any, I’m sorry.” Snacks, of course their mother would make them snacks they’re going to dance practice for crying out loud.

“That’s ok, thank you for driving us Mr. Bang.” Yuhno motions for Yeosang and San to follow him in getting out of the car.

Chan’s head hits the back of his head rest. “It’s ok eomma Chan. I’ve heard some people call our real eomma super extra. I don’t know what it means but you don’t have to be super extra.” Chan laughed at Wooyoungs words. He really was exactly like Changbin.

Loud, a bit obnoxious, blunt, but most importantly he was his loved one’s biggest cheerleader. Chan would be sure to make sure his son knew how much he appreciated him. Chan doubted his second eldest got that affirmation often.

“Ok kids let’s go home.”

The car ride was mainly silent except for Wooyoung’s insistent babbling, Jongho’s humming and Mingi, well Mingi looked a bit lost in his own little world, he looked out the window and didn’t speak, but looked quite nervous.

Thankfully Chan knew a bit about anxiety.
Part from his own personal experience and partly from Jisung’s. Thankfully after his exes’ arrest Jisung had started to flourish and even become slightly arrogant but Chan… had Chan changed at all?

 

Making dinner was easy, they had chicken and plenty of vegetables and kimchi. After looking through the meal plan book Chan settled on seasoned spicy chicken with pickled radish and seaweed soup. Chan was actually quite proud of the seaweed soup, but he did have quite a bit of experience with the dish as he had prepared it for every single child’s birthday but had never taken the time to make it for himself.. funny how that worked.

Helping Mingi with his homework though was a completely different story. Wooyoung had asked to play outside which Chan let him do since it wasn’t dark outside, Jongho was playing with blocks in the living room and listening to IU. Once Chan was seated next to Mingi the situations escalated.

“I don’t need help I’m not dumb.”

Chan sucked in a breath, that was a Minho statement.

“I never said you were dumb, it’s just written on your eomma’s schedule to help you with your homework.”

“I don’t need help I’m not stupid.”

“Bad word!” Jongho pointed at Mingi from his spot on the floor. Mingi looked up at Chan, “Sorry.” The six year old whispered.

“It’s ok bud, I’m not worried about the word.” Chan had taught his kids a lot worse words. “I don’t think you’re dumb. Does your eomma normally help you with your homework?”

Mingi looked down at his lap before weakly nodding.

“Well how ‘bout you start your homework by yourself and if you need help get me, but if you don’t need help you can do it all by yourself.” Mingi nodded eagerly, Chan patted his head, messing up his hair a little, Mingi seemed confused by this. Apparently Seonghwa didn’t find messing hair as affection.

Chan left the kitchen/living room to check on Wooyoung. Thankfully the five year old was just fine.

Chan walked back into the kitchen before realizing a mistake. He had started dinner almost half an hour early so the food would be ready before the boys got home meaning they would do their homework after they had eaten.

Chan meanly slapped himself. When Chan was a very hands on parent(back when he was basically held captive in his own home with his children) he kept to a strict schedule so the kids wouldn’t ever be shocked about something he did only by their appa’s angry screams, taunts and occasional beatings.

Seriously why had it taken Chan so long to get help?

Chan tried to make the most of the situation and instead made a snack for the boys tomorrow, cutting up a block of cheese into small squares and then finding an assortment of dried fruit.

Not a child’s dream but it was a snack.

Then he checked the producer’s notes, the next week he’d actually be following Hongjoong’s schedule while Hongjoong’s brother would come over and actually do Seonghwa’s duties that involved picking kids up, making food, etc.

After that he wrote a quick note to the brother letting him know there was snacks for the kids dance practice in the fridge.

Just as Chan was feeling as if he had accomplished something Mingi pulled on his pant leg.

“Yes Mingi-ah.”

The kid looked at the ground. “Do you need help?”

The kid nodded slowly. “Alright then, let’s see if I can help.”

Thankfully the rest of the night went smoothly until the boys got home.

They definitely were not expecting dinner already made, plated with the table set.

“I normally make the table.” Yeosang said once seated.

Wow.

A child actually admitting to a chore as their own and seeming sad that they weren’t able to do it.

Maybe cheese and dried fruit were the secret to child rearing.

“There wasn’t anything written about your chores except that you make your beds every morning, I’m Uh - sorry you weren’t able to do your chores.”

“They aren’t chores they are suggestions.” Yuhno said blatantly. “Rules must be followed but saying that makes you not want to follow them, so we have suggestions not chores.”

What was Seonghwa teaching these kids?

Was he genius? Or an idiot?

“I see, we’ll dig in and then we’ll do homework.”

“Thank you for the food.” The kids said in unison. The seven of them sat around the table. Chan looked at Jongho expecting him to eat before realizing he wasn’t at home, Jongho wasn’t Jeongin.

“Mr. Bang was this not in the manual either?” San asked politely.

“No, in my home the youngest eats first, it’s something my parents taught me, I forget it’s not normal, I don’t eat with people often.” Chan laughs off his own stupidity and begins eating. The others slowly follow suite and the rest of the evening flows smoothly until bedtime when Wooyoung throws a fit.

Chan sings to get him sleep, and then tucks him in like a burrito and even finds his favorite plushie. San decides to join Wooyoung in his bed so he wasn’t lonely.

The others didn’t have a problem. It wasn’t until Chan was left to his own devices that he began to have a problem.

He turned off all the cameras and charged them except one camera that he was meant to film day by day diary that would be revealed to the other parents at their meeting in three weeks.

Chan sat uncomfortably in front of the camera while he sat on the king sized bed. He decided to just dump his thoughts knowing that although the parents would see the uncut version the literal version would be cut for the show.

“I don’t know what I was expecting but it’s a lot different than my home. It just makes me feel guilty you know. I feel like I don’t do enough for my kids. I feel like I used to do more than I do now but then I feel like we are happier now or maybe my kids are just better at hiding it. Seonghwa you’re literally the model mother and Hongjoong I think I relate to you a little too much. If I was the type to have friends I might even be friends with you but I haven’t had friends since my ex, he sort of… he was majorly possessive and manipulative, he made me leave my dream of becoming an idol and made me think it was because I wanted to, it’s a long story. I don’t even know why I’m saying any of this. I’m sure I don’t make sense right now”.

Chan puts his head in his hands and groans to himself.

“The kids are really lovely. Yeosang was sad he wasn’t able to set the table, I’ve never met a kid like that. Wooyoung really is sweet, he reminds me of one of my sons. I think Mingi needs some independence and I think he doesn’t think highly of himself but do any of us?” Chan let out a weak laugh.

“Wooyoung actually defended me in the park today, you’d be proud of him. Yunho didn’t need to be told to do anything but he did ask about snacks, I can’t believe I didn’t think about snacks but I fed them extra dinner, hopefully it worked out. I’m just rambling at this point. Sorry. Well this is uh - this has been - is - was? This was Day One video log.”

 

•••••

 

The moment Seungcheol stepped into the new apartment he immediately regretted his decision to do the show.

How could he leave his twelve kids with people who didn’t know them and probably have never dealt with 12 kids of various ages at the same time.

But it was a bit too late to stop.

Seungcheol had started this and he was going to go through it.

The entryway of the apartment was a little dirty, there were shoes on the tiled floor and on the shoe rack. To the right of the entryway was a door that led to a bathroom, Seungcheol noticed 7 toothbrushes, meaning there was 7 kids plus the parents which would have taken their toothbrushes with them.

Well it seems the directors had decided on how to group them.

Every season there was always something that somehow linked the contestants, this season seemed to be focusing on large families. On the right of the entryway was a kitchen with an island that had three stools.

Further in the apartment was a living room with a four seater coach, and a large chair along with a wonky curtain that covered the balcony doors. On the right side of the coach there was another door, next to that door was a table that only sat 4 and a high chair, so a little child.

Cheol found it a bit odd that the table wouldn’t be big enough for the whole family but it could just be because he made such an effort to always eat together with his sons.

The door next to the coach was a dark room that had a day bed with dark sheets, there was a bottle of cinnamon on the nightstand… weird.

The rest of the room was simple with a desk and dresser, on top of the desk however was what looked like music producing equipment, so the parents were producers.

Cheol took another look at the bed… maybe it was just one parent or maybe this was a kids room? Cheol paused and noticed a photo frame on the desk. Sure enough seven kids and one parent.

Cheol sniffed the air, probably an omega possibly a beta. He left the room and ventured into the two doors on the other side of the living room.

The one nearest the kitchen had a lofted bed with two beds underneath, one noticeable smaller than the other. It was then that Cheol noticed a cat curled up on one of the beds. “Hi kitty.” Cheol smiled at the cat before going to pet it until the cat ran off. Cheol sighed and finished his inspection of the room. There was a desk with school books, a cd play with a basket full of cds. A dresser had family pictures and trophies, a few elementary school academic awards and a few dance trophies. There were a few stuffed animals and picture books and crayons scattered in the floor, probably from the young child.

The last bedroom was similar except it had two bunkbeds on either side of the room. A desk and dresser in the middle and a closet in the corner. There was another basket of cds, the family clearly liked music.

The beds were not all made and the room probably hadn’t been properly cleaned in a year but the inhabitants weren’t pigs as they had most of their dirty clothes in a basket and most of the stuff that was left out just made the room look untidy not dirty.

There was several different coloring books, pencils and a water color set on the desk, it appeared art was more important than the actual school work.

Cheol exited the room and sat on the coach, it was surprisingly comfortable despite its old appearance. Overall the apartment was very lived in, it seemed to grow up with the residents. There were scuff marks in the wall like his apartment and dusty baseboards, but most of the appliances were newer even if the furniture looked ten plus years old. The living room itself was slightly cluttered with a random plate being left out on the end table, and more coloring books left on the ground with a few stuffed animals and blocks.

“Ok, let’s just get this over with.” He picked up the manual and began reading.

‘My name is Bang Chan, I have seven incredible sons and I am 34 years old.’

“He has the same name as my youngest.” Cheol smiled and continued reading.

‘I’m originally from Australia but moved to Korea to train to be a K-pop idol when I was 13, unfortunately that didn’t work out and at 19 I became pregnant and had to move out of the dorms and in with the alpha father. He ended up being an abusive son of a (censored) that held me captive in my own home, during this time I had my seven children.’

“Wow, well I guess we both had awful spouses.”

‘Almost three years ago during a long night filled with abuse my eldest son stole his father’s phone and called the police. Six months later we were able to witness him be sentenced to prison. I didn’t know what to do for a while, I thought about moving my family to Australia but I didn’t think it would be wise to do it so we stayed. I sent in my SoundCloud profile to the company I had originally trained at hoping to get a single commission but ended up getting offered a full time job. I produce around 40 to 60 songs a year now. Because of this I work normally more than 12 hours a day.’

“He’s a workaholic, that’s - that just leads to more problems.” Cheol contemplated if he should continue speaking before continuing, “Before I knew what my ex was doing I was definitely a workaholic, my wife was not managing the funds well, I didn’t know that then but I know now that she would make me work overtime on two different jobs so that she could fund a secret lifestyle. I work less now even though I still work probably 65 hours a week, but this guy has to be working over 80 hours a week, and that’s just not healthy and not good for the kids.” Cheol spoke the last part slowly feeling slightly bad for talking about kid’s wellbeing when he knew his kids could live in better conditions.

‘I know it’s not healthy-‘

“Well I’m glad he admits that.”

‘-but I don’t know how to say no to more work, because of this my eldest takes on a lot of responsibility, I know I know shouldn’t burden him. I just don’t know how to stop.’

“I’d recommend therapy.”

‘I always say my life purpose is to ensure my kids live free, fulfilling and happy lives. When I was still married I had given up on that dream but now that it’s possible I feel as if it will never be accomplished and that I will have failed as a parent.’

“We all fail as parents. No one can be perfect but we have to let our kids know that, and apologize when we make a mistake and teach them to apologize as well. I feel like I really didn’t do right by kids for over 10 years, I’m not a perfect parent either but I try, and I always put in an effort. That’s just what parents should do.”

‘My daily weekday routine
8:45 am - wake up, take a shower eat breakfast
9:45 am - leave for work
10:00 am - work
12:00 am - leave work (I sometimes leave closer to 2 or 3 but recently I have been able to leave earlier)
12:30 am - get home, go to sleep’

“This guy going to die before he’s 40. I’m serious you can’t do this to yourself or to your kids.”

‘My daily weekend routine
On Saturday or Sunday I try and do something with the kids, this weekend Seungmin wanted to go to a baseball game, the other day of the weekend I work like normal.’

“Well I’m glad he’s spending time with his kids but one day just isn’t right.”

‘The weekly grocery list
We go shopping for most things on the weekend but in the case we forget something I give my eldest 20,000 won to pick something up for the week.
There really isn’t a list of things we normally get except rice and kimchi my eldest loves cooking and my second eldest likes meal planning so I let them decide on the list and then go out and shop with them.
I’d like to say there’s a budget but there really isn’t, I make enough that there’s a surplus because we don’t live in a large home, I don’t drink alcohol, and we don’t got out to eat a lot so I just make sure that they don’t buy anything we all can’t carry home and it works out. My ex used to give me a non-workable budget where all we could afford was rice, so I don’t try and limit the food.’

“Wow.” Cheol looked around the apartment, it really wasn’t a nice apartment it wasn’t even in a nice area, Cheol would have never thought that the people that lived there were pretty wealthy.

‘Minho is my eldest and very responsible. He is 14 but when most people meet him they think he is older. He takes care of the kids and makes sure that Jeongin gets to kindergarten every day. He is very blunt though and will tell you if he doesn’t like you. He’s gotten in trouble multiple times at school because of this. The thing is he doesn’t see the need to respect people that don’t respect those under them. I can’t really fault him even though I know that sometimes that’s just the way the world is. He takes care of our cat Dori even though originally the cat was meant to be Jisung’s emotional support cat. Minho really shouldn’t give you trouble unless you give him trouble.
Changbin is the loudest son. He’s 13 so his voice is currently changing but he doesn’t mind as we will proudly sing songs way out of his range while dancing. He’s a part of a cheerleading squad so he oftentimes has late practices but doesn’t neglect his studies. He is majorly protective of his siblings and has also gotten into fights at school because of it. He just wants his brothers to be protected. Changbin will challenge your authority but will not try and actively go against you unless you give him a reason. Every night and morning he stretches because he thinks it will make him grow taller, I don’t have the heart to tell him that short genes just run in the family.’

Cheol laughed at the insertion of humor before continuing.

‘Hyunjin will most likely pretend to be quite shy at first but will open up as he gets to know you. He’s only 11 but he already is very skilled at drawing and coloring. He can get sidetracked from his homework or chores if he sees something he would rather do and sometimes has a hard time with self discipline, but he’s still growing. He’s the pickiest eater out of all the kids and sometimes will just refuse to eat, he’s been doing this since he was young, a psychologist said that at the beginning it was probably because he thought that if he didn’t eat others could eat more but now it is more him not finding enjoyment in food. He has a lot of friends but no best friends and constantly seems to have trouble with his friend groups so he will rant about his day whenever he gets the chance.
Jisung has two personalities, a cocky persona and his personable at home personality. His therapist said he developed this as a way to protect himself from what was happening. He doesn’t literally have two personas but he definitely acts different around certain people. He was diagnosed with anxiety young, mainly from his childhood and causes no problems at home but has cussed out multiple students which has gotten him sent to principals office several times because he’s only 9. But he really is an intelligent kid that has a large vocabulary and a sharp wit, he just has a hard time with people that aren’t his family. He’s been bullied before in school which hasn’t helped the situation either except the school refuses to do anything because Jisung has had behavioral issues.
Yongbok is Jisung’s twin but they were born on different days. Jisung late at night and Yongbok early in the morning. Ever since he was born Yongbok has always found joy in brightening other peoples days. His positivity is desperately needed. I can tell that sometimes he doesn’t want to be happy but no one else is so he feels the need to be. I haven’t thought of the best way to bring that up though. He really loves hugging and playing with his brothers. He enjoys clapping and card games even if he’s not good at them. He has a swimming class on Saturday that he really enjoys and has even won a few swimming medals although he wants to switch to taekwondo next year.’

“I remember when my twins were born, they were so tiny, but I couldn’t imagine having twins after having three kids there’s not that big of a difference from 3 to 4 kids but there’s a huge difference in 3 to 5 kids.”

‘Seungmin has two loves, baseball and studying. If he doesn’t become a lawyer he will probably become a baseball player and then a lawyer. I never thought it would be possible for 7 year old to study more than I did my entire highschool time but it is apparently possible. He loves teasing but does not mean it maliciously. If you are older than I am he will most likely call you old, or half 68. Which I’m glad he can do math at 7 but also most kids call their parents young to get something, Seungmin doesn’t bribe with words though. But regardless he is a sweet boy just sarcastic and too smart for his own good.’

“My boys tease each other a lot too. One babysitter thought they hated each other, they actually just hated the babysitter.”

‘Jeongin is 3 and is the only one that grew up away from his father. Whenever I’m with him he smiles all the time but his kindergarten teacher says that Jeongin hardly smiles or talks. A psychiatrist said that he was displaying signs of separation anxiety. They recommended that he also needs a father figure in his life…. I can’t really change that situation though.

“All the ajummas told me that I needed to get remarried as soon as possible. They said that an alpha father couldn’t raise kids well. I’m sure that Chan-ssi has received similar comments especially being an omega.”

Cheol sat on the couch for a few minutes before looking at the family picture at the front of the manual. The family looked happy, the kids had big smiles, Chan looked happy but tired. Cheol knew the feeling.

“Chan-ssi, I think the solution to all your problems is to work less, especially since you aren’t in a financial crisis, but I don’t know the full situation or-“

The front door rattled, Cheol stood up instinctively as the door opened and six boys piled in on top of each other.

“Put your shoes away, be neat about it. Jinnie take your shoes off or do I need to find the tissues.”

“No hyung, look.” the child pointed.

“Hello.” Cheol bowed, the six kids stood there shocked until one child with a face full of freckles raced off to Cheol.

“Hello mister. My name is Yongbok, I am 9 years old. My English name is Felix, we all have English names like Eomma!”

“Yongbok-ah calm down.” The oldest said pushing brown hair out of his eyes. “Come on get over here, let’s introduce ourselves how we practiced.”

The six boys lined up in front of the coach.

They bowed in sync and introduced themselves down the line, the eldest holding the youngest.

“Minho.”

“Hyunjin.”

“Jisung.”

“Yongbok.”

“Seungmin.”

The youngest hesitated, Minho encouraged him, “Come on you can do it, you just gotta say your name.”

“Jeongin.”

“It’s so nice to meet you all, my name is Choi Seungcheol. I know that we don’t know each other but I want the next three weeks to be fun and rewarding.” Cheol paused noticing there was a child missing. “Uh where is Changbin?”

“Cheerleading practice.” Minho answered coolly.

“Do you not have a mate?” Hyunjin asked, his gangly frame awkward.

“Uh - no, not anymore, ah here look.” Cheol turned around and pulled the collar of his shirt down so that they could see the severed mating bond, that had to be surgically removed and replaced with a skin graft that still showed a scar.

“Wow.”

“Are you like our eomma?” Yongbok asked.

“If you asking if my mate is in prison then yes.”

“But you’re an alpha mister, aren’t you.” Jisung had finally spoken up.

“My mate - she never hurt me physically but hurt my kids.”

“How many kids do you have?”

“12.”

“Holy shit!” Those were not words Cheol had expected to come out of Jisung’s mouth.

“I would love to have 12 brothers.”

“You wouldn’t have 12 you’d have 11.”

“Why do you have to ruin my fun?”

“Why don’t you know how to subtract and-“

“Ok that’s enough. I’m sure you all have homework, I think you should get started on it.” Cheol cut in before anything got out of hand.

Minho stood in shock, but the other boys complied except Jeongin who was still being held. They left to go to their rooms and begin their work.

“You didn’t have to step in, you’re not actually our eomma.” Minho was a bit abrasive, almost like Jihoon.

“I’m sorry if it offended you. I know how much you must do for your brothers, I don’t think you should have to do everything.”

“Well for two weeks you’ll be living like my eomma right. If you’re going to do that you might as well leave me alone right now and start working till you almost pass out.” Minho bent down to pick up a small stuffed fox Jeongin was holding out his hands for before walking over to the kitchen to presumably start dinner.

“That starts tomorrow, not today. I want to help you.”

“You think I can’t do it by myself?” That was also a Jihoon answer.

“I didn’t say you weren’t capable. I know you are considering all your siblings are alive and well.”

“What are you? A therapist?” That was a Jeonghan answer,

“No I’m a manager at a school supplies supplier and a part time dishwasher.” Minho stared at him for a good five seconds.

“You’re being serious.”

“I used to be a social worker.”

“That explains it.”

Minho put Jeongin down, the toddler scampered off to play with his fox in the living room.

“What exactly is your assessment of my family then?”

Cheol took a calculated breath before answering, “I think you are all recovering from a traumatic time and all trying to cope differently.”

“Tt.” Minho turned away and continued to prepare dinner, “Anyone with working eyes could see that. I guess that’s why you quit huh.”

If Cheol was honest he’d know that Minho was definitely being rude, but he also knew that Cheol couldn’t hurt him which is why he had the confidence to do so, the 14 year old just wanted to dance around subjects and smirk.

“Why did your Eomma decide to do the show?” Changing the subject should be a good solution.

“Hyunjin filled out the application, Eomma got accepted. On his interview he said something about it being a good experience cause he thinks he’s a terrible mother or something, bunch of bull shit.”

Well Cheol wouldn’t need to watch his language. That was a bonus.

Were the children really blind to their eomma’s misdeeds?

Surely they had to see that there was a problem with working over 12 hours a day and only seeing your kids on one day of the weekend when they literally live in the same apartment all while leaving the eldest to do most if not all of the housework.

“My eomma tries his best. There’s no such thing as a perfect eomma. Of course he’ll make mistakes, but he’s the best parent we’ll ever have and he’s always done his best to make us feel loved.” Cheol decided to leave it be. Minho believed what he believed and that wouldn’t change with one conversation.

“When will Changbin be home?”

“So you just changed the conversation when there’s nothing you can say, interesting. Binnie will be back by dinner.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Minho stopped quickly, Cheol was worried he accidentally cut himself.

“If you’re so anxious to help go fold the laundry or something.” Minho waved him off.

Cheol did what he was told.

Whether or not he would address the rudeness in a future conversation was undecided but at the present moment it was important to just get through the day, it was clear that this would be much more difficult than Cheol originally thought.

After the laundry was folded Cheol ventured into the two bedrooms and asked for help to put the clothes away, the kids helped without a fit except Seungmin who declared, “I was in a flow state! It’ll take ages to get back and do my homework properly.” To which Yongbok responded, “You finished your homework ages ago you were doing extra credit work that can’t even be turned in for a week.”

The kid vaguely reminded him of Wonwoo, but then again Wonwoo normally finished most of his homework during lunch or the bus rides because he didn’t have friends.

Like Minho had said Changbin did arrive just in time for dinner.

Introductions went well, Changbin seemed excited but nervous to meet Cheol which the alpha preferred to outright hostility.

Dinner was an interesting affair. Because the table only sat four plus the high chair, Minho, Hyunjin and Changbin sat on the floor. Cheol found it a bit strange that the older kids sat on the floor and let the younger kids sit at the table, but maybe it was to prevent spills on the carpet. Dinner got stranger when after saying thanks for the food the kids stared at Jeongin and not Cheol, as if they were waiting for him to eat first. That would never happen at home.

Sometimes when his sons were feeling particularly cruel they would make everyone take bites in order except the next person would have to wait until they were done chewing, this was always pre-arranged and always done when one of the younger ones was acting difficult. Cheol didn’t know how he felt about the particular punishment as it was something his kids did without his knowledge but it did seem to work.

After dinner Changbin did his homework at the table while Minho forced Jisung to do the dishes.

“I’m too short, I can’t reach.”

“You know where the stool is.”

“Hyung!”

“Jisung!”

Jisung did the dishes.

How Minho held so much power Cheol didn’t understand. It reminded him of how things went when Jeonghan was left in charge.

There was a reason that Jeonghan was not left in charge often.

Hyunjin and Yongbok turned the tv on while Seungmin stood off to the side and Jeongin sat on Changbin’s lap playing patty cake.

“I’m going to do my homework, behave.” Minho left for his room. Cheol could see the boys visibly let out a breath.

“So Minnie told me you had 12 sons, what are they like?” Changbin started, his homework forgotten on the table. The two boys in the coach fell over each other as they turned to face Cheol who was still seated at the table.

“Finish your homework and then we’ll talk.” Changbin grumbled something but did his homework.

“Jinnie-hyung play catch with me.” Seungmin said.

“Last time I played you hit me.”

“No you just didn’t catch it.”

“Same thing.”

“Please.”

“No, I still have the bruise.”

Cheol watched as Changbin’s body language changed, he clearly wanted to play catch with his brother but he also had homework.

“I’ll play with you.” Cheol stood up.

“Ok, let’s go.” Seungmin grabbed Cheol’s hand and dragged him to the outside hallway. The outside was still bright from the early summer weather. Seungmin tossed Cheol a baseball glove. Cheol quickly maneuvered the glove on just in time for Seungmin to through him the ball. It was a surprisingly hard throw for a seven year old. Cheol threw the ball back, the kid caught it with ease.

The two went back in forth for a while before Seungmin struck up a conversation.

“Are you taking me to the baseball game this Saturday?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Seungmin threw the ball again, this time much harder then the previous time.

“Are you upset your Eomma isn’t taking you?”

Cheol threw the ball back, the boy caught the ball but held onto it.

“Maybe.” He threw it back.

“You can be upset.”

“That’ll only stress Hyung out. I can only mess with him a little.” Cheol chuckled, a similar response was given to him many times by at least three of his boys.

“It’s very thoughtful of you to worry about your brother, but it’s ok to feel things.”

“I know that. Hyung doesn’t know that though.” This time Cheol held the ball.

“Has anyone tried to talk to him about it?” Cheol threw the ball back, he was aware there were no cameras outside, otherwise he wouldn’t be having this conversation.

“Eomma has tried to, but Eomma has his own problems he wants to forget about the bad things Appa did. Hyung just wants to forget about everything too, it’s why he quit dancing.” Cheol caught the ball.

“Your brother was a dancer.”

“He, Binnie-hyung and Jinnie-hyung, they all stopped though.”

Cheol was nervous to ask the next question.

“Why?”

“No one tells me anything, they think I’m too young and I can’t understand. But I know Appa videoed them dancing all the time, it was the only time he was nice, he’d take them out and get them icecream.”

It was just what Cheol thought.

“Did your Appa ever video you?”

Seungmin grasped the ball in his hand, tightly.

“Appa never noticed me, he didn’t like me because my glasses costed him money. He said I was ugly, that my mole was a curse from the devil and I was lucky Eomma loved me.”

Why were there such terrible people in the world?

Why did they have to hurt kids?

Seungmin was 4 maybe 5 when his father was imprisoned, meaning his father had been verbally abusing him that entire time for the seven year old to be able to articulate every thing.

Cheol walked closer to the child. “Your Appa was a bad man.”

“I know. He hurt eomma, he hurt hyungs. But he really did forget about me.”

“What do you mean?”

“He said that I was already ugly and that if he hit me it would make me even uglier. He said that he was being kind by not hitting me.” Cheol wanted to hug the kid so bad. The conversation was reminding him of the first time his kids had been truly honest with him.

After Soonyoung and Jihoon called the police while men were at the house. Only after the police barged in and pulled the men off of Jisoo, Jeonghan, Jun and Wonwoo, only after thousands of pictures of child pornography and elicit pictures of his kids had been taken off his wife’s computer, only after Jun and Minghao were almost starved to death because they where Chinese, only after Seungkwan and Seokmin’s throats had been burned with bleach because their mother thought they were too loud, only after Mingyu and Soonyoung had ruler marks on the back of their calves for daring to speak out, only after the ex had attempted to suffocate Hansol, only after-

“Mr. Choi, are you ok?”

“Uh, yes Seungmin-ah, I’m fine.”

“Your mate was bad too right?”

 

“Yes, she was evil.”

“Did she make your sons dance for her?”

“No, she made them dance for other people.” Cheol was pretty sure dancing hadn’t been involved but rape was a bit too strong a word for a seven year old although it seemed Chan-ssi didn’t restrict the kid’s language so perhaps it wasn’t too strong?

“Did she ignore any of your sons?”

“Yes.” If ignoring was purposeful neglect then yes.

“I want to meet them some day”

“Huh?”

“Eomma says it’s important we know that we are not alone, but I’ve never met someone my age that had as a bad a parent as me. And my eomma says that trauma isn’t a competition but when my friends complain about their dad yelling at them once I can’t help but want to tell them it’s nothing.”

“That might be able to be arranged, but until then it’s getting late, you should get ready for bed.”

“Ok.”

The two went back inside, placed their shoes on the rack and put their gloves and ball in a small basket by the door.

“Oh good, I was about to go get you.” Changbin seemed far too excited. Behind him Hyunjin and Yongbok were following along to a dance on the tv. Jeongin was watching them silently, looking at his brothers as if they were some other species.

Cheol smiled and sat down at the table. Jisung came up behind him as if he was trying to scare him, “So how old are your kids?”

Cheol took a deep breath and watched Seungmin silently retreat to the couch with his youngest brother.

“I have two kids that are 16, two kids that are 15, another two that are 8 and then the others are 13, 12, 10, 9, 7 and then my youngest is 5.”

“So you have three sets of twins?” Jisung looked shocked as he took another chair around the table.

“Uh - no, my eldest boys Jeonghan and Jisoo are twins, but the other two pairs are um - uh well I have two adopted sons that are the same age as two of my other sons.”

Why was he so bad at explaining this?

“Ah I see.” Changbin said. “Wait- how old did you say you were?”

Oh boy.

He didn’t want to explain this now.

He could lie.

No the kids didn’t need another liar in their lives, “33.”

“Holy Shit.” Was that the only expression Jisung knew?

“Wait I could be doing math wrong. Seungmin 16 minus 33 is 17 right?”

“No it’s negative 17. 33 minus 16 is 17.”

“You knew what I meant.”

“Wait so you were younger than eomma was when he had Minho.” Changbin seemed shocked, Cheol was embarrassed.

“I heard someone say my name.” Minho sauntered out of his room, his cat following behind him.

“Yeah Mr. Choi had his first kid when he was younger than Eomma.”

“I’m pretty sure his mate was having the kid.” Minho responded coolly. Really what was his problem?

“Did you finish your homework?” No one responded to Minho’s sudden question.

“Did everyone finish their homework?” He said with more force, a vast difference to upbeat Red Velvet song on the tv.

“Yes, Minho. Geez you aren’t a prison warden.” Changbin stood up and squared his shoulders trying to act larger and tougher than he really was, when in reality Changbin reminded Cheol of an older Minghao, the body type though not the personality.

“I’m just making sure.” Minho grumbled. “Jeongin it’s your bedtime.” Cheol checked his watch, it was just past 8. He had given up getting his younger kids to bed early long ago and instead just gave his older kids more liberty with their bedtime, it wasn’t the best compromise but it had worked so far.

“I don’t want to go to sleep.” Jeongin said almost non audibly. “It’s your bed time Innie, I can read you a story.” Minho tried to compromise. Cheol watched carefully ready to step in if necessary.

“Innie I’m going to bed too.” Seungmin stood up. “I’m going to brush my teeth, you wanna do it with me?” Reluctantly the three year old followed his brother into the bathroom where the two brushed their teeth and then went into the room they shared with Minho.

“Do you want me to-“

“Hyung I can read him a story.” Seungmin cut Minho off, there was a tension in the air, apparently no one defied Minho.

“Ok. Good night you two, I’ll be in there in soon.” The confrontation ended. Seungmin and Jeongin closed the bedroom door. Minho collapsed on the coach.

“Have some taste you two.” Minho reprimanded Hyunjin and Yongbok. Apparently he did not like Happiness by Red Velvet.

Hyunjin and Yongbok looked slightly sad but turned the tv off and went over to the cd player, it was only then when Cheol noticed the skinny shelf that was packed full of cds.

“What do you want Hyung?” Yongbok asked.

Minho thought for a moment before his expression changed into an almost evil smirk.

“Mr. Choi what do your kids listen to?”

How did Cheol answer that?

12 kids meant 12 different music tastes.

“Uh well a lot, but we definitely don’t have the selection you have."

“Well then what cds do you have?”

What were the album names?

There was Twice, Mammamoo, BSS, and literally every single cd BOMG ever produced which was like three but still, the kids were obsessed.

“Do you have God of Light Music?”

“Oh I love that song.” Yongbok excitedly exclaimed.

“I’ve been trying to convince my team that we should do a routine to that song but they don’t like it, I’m glad to see you have taste.” Changbin was absolutely beaming.

“Ok I love that song too but it’s too loud for right now.” Hyunjin stepped in.

“Jinnie’s right, anything else?”

“Uh black pink?” Seokmin really liked black pink.

“Ok.” Minho gestured to Yongbok to find the album.

“Mr. Choi why don’t you dance for us?”

Ah so Minho no longer felt comfortable performing in front of others so he made others embarrass themselves, that was a bit narcissistic in Cheol’s opinion but it made sense.

“I’m a terrible dancer, my sons are much better at -“

“I’ll do it with you.” Changbin stood up and pulled Cheol up.

“Isn’t this song just as loud as God of Light Music?”

“Yongbok-Ah turn the volume down.”

“Ok hyung.”

Jisung and Hyunjin went to sit down next to Minho.

“Which song do you want?”

“Pink Venom” Changbin replied happily.

Oh god.

At least this was good television.

Chapter Text

Seonghwa blearily blinked his eyes open as the 6:00 am alarm sounded, he gingerly detached Seungkwan from his arm and gently tried to shake Hongjoong awake.

It was no use, they didn’t have time for this though, the two of them only had 15 minutes to both take a shower and get dressed.

“Joong, we have to get up.”

“Mhhm.”

 “Joong, please.”

“Hwa.”

“Yes, it’s me. We need to get up.” Seonghwa gently pulled his husband up, “Go start the shower I’m going to look at our clothing options.” Hongjoong incoherently nodded and made his way to the bathroom careful not to step on Hansol.

Seonghwa crouched to open the dresser and picked clothes quickly, there weren’t many options, and Hongjoong as the fashion snob would hate anything he picked out. Seonghwa walked over to the bathroom and knocked two times, “It’s me Joong.” He opened the door placed the clothes on the counter and then taking his clothes off, put them in the basket and then joined his husband in the shower.

“Just like old times.” Hongjoong hugged him from behind.

“I love you but we don’t have time for this.”

“I don’t know if you remember but the only thing in the kitchen is rice and eggs and it doesn’t take 30 minutes to make that.”

“Still we can’t waste their water.” Seonghwa sighed and started getting his hair wet, “Use as little product as possible.” Hongjoong blew out a breath, “I hope you know that we are taking these kids on a shopping spree when it’s our turn to change the rules right?” Seonghwa let a quiet laugh escape his mouth as he turned to face his husband and lather a shampoo conditioner combo product in his hair. “You know just throwing money at the situation won’t fix it.”

“Of course I know that. But the solution is to make the family produce more income and Mr. Choi wrote that he’s not going to take another job which I don’t blame him, he’s already working long hours with little sleep, but I don’t know if he even can get a better job.” Why was life so unfair to good people? “Pass me my toothbrush.” Hongjoong interrupted himself and gestured for Seonghwa to pass him the toothbrush because of course Seungcheol would brush his teeth in the shower to save time and water. Hongjoong brushed his teeth and Seonghwa washed the product out of hair, and started rubbing the smallest amount of body wash on his skin, and then did the same to Hongjoong. “Brush your teeth.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Seonghwa hated that he was doing this. It made him feel gross even though he was literally in the shower, but he did it anyway. Once he was done he washed the product out of Hongjoong’s hair and turned the water off. They got out and then dried themselves with the same towel which also grossed Seonghwa out, thankfully they used different towels to dry their hair, and then get dressed. The pants were well worn in the thighs with some of the seams about to pop.

“I’m designing him a whole new wardrobe.” Was the only thing Hongjoong said as he looked at the abysmal ensemble of a light blue striped collard shirt with navy blue dress pants that were too long paired with a light pink tie that appeared to once be red. “Does he have any belts?” “Only one, I’ll wear the belt I wore yesterday.” Seonghwa tried to ease his husband’s worries but it was clear he was struggling with the clothing. Seonghwa’s outfit was’t much better. He wore a shirt that was faintly stained yellow(probably from the unfiltered water… he hoped) and kaki pants that were too big in the waist, butt and hips but that was nothing a belt couldn’t fix, his tie was solid dark blue, it looked like it had once been a part of the uniform, “Normally I don’t mind people’s fashion choices, but this time I’m with you Hongjoong, he needs clothing that isn’t 20 years old.” Hongjoong smiled and kissed his husband’s cheek.

The two walked out of the bathroom. Seonghwa washed the rice while Hongjoong put socks on and got a pair for Seonghwa. Just as Seonghwa was putting the rice in the rice cooker one of the bedrooms opened, Jun walked out. “Good morning.” Seonghwa smiled.

“Morning. Uh don’t bother making me food, I have a photoshoot today and you know.” Jun never finished his sentence. He locked himself in the bathroom. The couple heard the shower start to run but that was the farthest thing in Seonghwa’s mind. He hunched over the sink.

“Sweetie we can’t do anything about it.”

“I know. I just know that I was just like him.”

“I know, I know. Go sit down, put your socks on I’ll cook the eggs.”

“Over my dead body, you’ll burn the house down.”

“Fair enough. I’ll set the table up.” The couple worked in silence until Jun stepped out of the bathroom dressed and ready and with an empty basket of laundry. “I’m gonna take the laundry down.” Seonghwa smiled at him, “Thank you Jun.”

Breakfast was as chaotic as the couple thought. The kids only half dressed and with varying levels of appetite and some still doing homework even though they all claimed to finish it last night… Once the kids were out the couple checked the laundry, and put the dishes in the sick, it almost physically sickened Seonghwa to not clean the dishes but they needed to stick to the schedule.

They had sparse cash to buy groceries. Last night Seonghwa along with Jeonghan and Jisoo had looked through coupon books that Soonyoung had collected on his way home, apparently it was one of their favorite chores as they said they had once gotten the total down from 600,000 to just 70,000. They called it their proudest financial achievement.

Hongjoong grabbed the reusable bags, all of which looked ready to fall apart if you put too much stuff in them and Seonghwa grabbed the portable camera and the money. The grocery store was about a block from the house, it wasn’t meant to be a long trip, according to the manual it was normal for Seungcheol to go grocery shopping every single day, it only saved money because he was disciplined and could only afford to spend money in small increments. The night before Seonghwa with the twins had planned out the desired shopping list, although the twins had made it very clear what were needs and what were wants. The kids prioritized cheap filling foods over nutrition and personal enjoyment. They would rather have gooey porridge than fruit, just another thing in the never ending list of things that broke Seonghwa’s heart.

“You can’t buy that brand of porridge it has to be the one on the bottom” Seonghwa pointed, Hongjoong complied, even though it was obvious he hated porridge and the plain kind was the worst kind. The only thing the Choi family splurged on was vegan kimchi, mainly because Jun couldn’t have regular, but because there was none on sale and no coupons there would be no kimchi. “I’m going to make kimchi for them”

“Today Hwa?”

“No, when it’s our turn to change the rules, I will make the largest batch I’ve ever made, they deserve it.”

They had a buy one get one free for cartons of 18 eggs, cucumbers were on sale, and the frozen dumplings were going for dirt cheap because of ruined packaging, the last thing the couple picked up was an extra onion and tofu. The checkout was slightly rewarding as the couple watched the prices reduce after using their coupons, but releasing the money into the cashier’s hands was hard, if wasn’t even their money and yet the couple was feeling the urge to hold on to it and save it for the kids. The couple glumly walked back to the house, put the groceries away, and left for work, finding the train with little difficulty and finding seats just in time. They sat in silence with the rest of the passengers in the train. Seonghwa wanted desperately to talk to his mate, but he would never break common Korean train courtesy. He was so tired already, so done with this family, not because they were terrible but because whenever he looked at them he felt guilty that they had to live like this. He should feal grateful that he didn’t have to live like them, but thinking that just made him think he was entitled. There really was no good solution.

The camera crew met them at the school supplies company. Seungcheol was a manager in the design department. The supervisor showed the couple around and explained Seungcheol’s tasks. “He’s one of the few employees that actually work for the full time they’re here, he doesn’t stop working till five and he arrives a few minutes early so he can start work exactly on time or even early.” The supervisor was a nice Beta woman in her late forties with a clean sense of style, Seonghwa however had the impression that she wasn’t telling them everything.

“Seungcheol checks the notebook designs and reads reviews on our products, he leads the design team weekly meetings to see where they can improve. He’s also in charge of communication with the paper plant and communication with upper management.” Wasn’t the supervisor upper management? “He also does interviews with potential employees and directs phone calls to HR.” Why was that part of his job description? “How long has he had the position of manager?” Hongjoong asked. “For about two years, he rose through the ranks very quickly for someone with little experience.”

“Wasn’t he a social worker for ten years?” “Uh - yes, that’s what it said on his resume but you know how people are, they lie, and the jobs are so different there was no way to hire him in anything more than an entry level position.” “I see.” Seonghwa averted his eyes to look at Seungcheol’s cubicle, it was no bigger than the others around it despite him being the manager. He had pictures of his boys on the felt wall along with a family photo. The desk was cluttered but organized and held stacks of paperwork.

“Have either of you worked in an office before?” “I work in a fashion studio, Seonghwa is an author.”

“Oh so you are a designer, excellent, how about you go through these files, they have notebook designs, you stamp the bottom green if you approve of them and then they’ll go off to production if you deny them they go in the tray and get shredded. It looks like Seungcheol’s tray hasn’t been cleaned out in a while. How about you do that.” She picked up the overflowing tray and shoved it in Seonghwa’s hands with more force than necessary. “I’ll check on you two at lunch, if the phone rings just ask who it is, if it’s a senior manager direct them to line two, if it’s a customer line 3, if it’s a potential employee line 4, and if it’s an employee line 5, if you have any questions I’ll be in office.”

She left before Seonghwa could even stutter an “uh.” “I don’t remember anything she said.” Hongjoong reddened. Seonghwa put the tray down and tore a sticky note off the pile on the desk, he quickly wrote down the numbers and the callers. “Here, once I get back I’ll do the calls. I know you hate talking over the phone.” Seonghwa smiled, patted his husband on the shoulder and left with the tray in order to find the shredder. Why were calls going through Seungcheol? It made no sense.

Over the course of the day Seonghwa shredded probably 300 pieces of paper and took out the waste, because of course Seungcheol was also doing the custodians job, the one work day would probably only be a few seconds on the show but it was very much a real life experience. The omega wanted nothing more than to go home to his kids, given the circumstances he would gladly go back to the cramped apartment but he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to do that for another two weeks. Why was parent swap so long? Why did the supervisor act like Seungcheol was still an unpaid intern that would literally sometimes get her coffee order? Hongjoong hated phone calls, tomorrow he would be sure to switch with his mate who was much better at human interaction.

After the twentieth phone call Hongjoong was ready to do a monotonous task, something he normally couldn’t stand, if it meant he never had to talk on the phone again, but of course work wasn’t the only social interaction of the day. There were 12 kids at home. 12 literal children that all needed to be fed, clothed, bathed, and entertained as well as loved. How did Seungcheol do it? How did he support them on his measly salary? Why really did he leave his job as a social worker and why didn't he just move to become a civil servant if dealing with unfortunate situations was the reason? “Are you ready to go?” Hongjoong snapped out of his daze. His mate was standing beside his desk, his bag already slug over his shoulders. “Uh - yeah.”

The two walked in silent companionship clutching each other’s hands despite the rising temperatures of May. “My stomach hurts.” Seonghwa nearly whispered. Another thing the couple had a hard time stomaching, because lunch was provided at the office Seungcheol purposely gorged himself so he’d eat less at dinner, he didn’t care what his fellow employees thought of his eating habits because he did his job well. Every hour it was as if the couple learned another thing from notes Seungcheol left the directors, the couple had written their own notes but both didn’t believe theirs were nearly as heartbreaking. As the couple trudged up the stairs to the apartment they could hear the boys from down the hall. “Well at least they got home safe.” Hongjoong tried to brighten the mood knowing he was not ready for what awaited him behind the door.

“Come on, we need to make the best of it.” Seonghwa held his husbands hand, together the opened the door and was met with chaos.

 

 

---

 

 

Jeonghan was glad when the school day ended, he was so ready to grab his brothers, pick up Chan from kindergarten and then go home, unfortunately his life would never be that simple. “Hey pretty boy.” They were older boys, broader boys who played basketball, Jeonghan hated them with every fiber of his being. “When are you going to present?” Again with this question. It was as if society was still stuck in the Josean dynasty and alphas still competed to spend time with an omega’s first heat.

“Fuck off.”

“What was that?” Jeonghan sighed, he really didn’t want to get into a fight today. Just a few more steps and he’d be at the dance club door, Soonyoung would know what to do.

“You all think you’re big and tough just because you presented early, I think it just means you reek of pheromones you don’t know how to properly conceal.” Jeonghan took a few steps closer to the dance club door, maybe if he was louder Soonyoung would hear him.

“You think you’re so witty don’t you.” One of the boys, Jinsook took a step closer, Jeonghan wasn’t lying they reeked.

“I’m not joking when was the last time you took a shower.” Jeonghan put his hand up to his nose, maybe if he could just insult them enough they would leave? “That’s rich coming from the guy who doesn’t have enough money to shower alone.”

How did they know that? Jeonghan’s eyes gave away everything.

“What are you some pervert attracted to your twin, cause no judgement he might be even better looking than you.”

“It’s not like that.”

“And how will everyone else know that? What will happen to you if I tell them the two of you are perverted freaks.” Jinsook took a step closer to where Jeonghan was frozen, another bully stood on Jinsook’s right side, blocking any way to escape.

“What do you even want?”

“I want to spend your first heat with you.”

“There’s no guarantee I will present as an omega.” His last check up bloodwork had been done, the doctors had told him he was most likely to present as a beta. “Just look at you.” Jinsook took Jeonghan’s jaw in his hand. “You’re too beautiful.” Jinsook’s eyes were demonic, they reminded Jeonghan of all the men that had looked at him the same way for so many years all while his mother profited from it, seriously why wasn’t Soonyoung out of practice? Where were the others?

“I’m sure there’s much worse I could do to you.” Jeonghan made himself sound much braver than he really was, if he was good at anything it was lying and getting away with it. “I’d like to see you try.” He gripped his face tighter, Jeonghan calculated all the options, he had just decided what he was going to do when- “Jeonghan-hyung, where are you!?” It was Wonwoo running with what looked like a battered Jisoo by his sighed. Jeonghan had never been so glad his younger brother had been smart enough to skip a grade.

“Get away from him.” Wonwoo squared his shoulders, trying to make himself as large as possible, even though it was quite difficult for the 13 year old. Jisoo was leaning against the wall, he seemed to be having difficulty standing. It was then that Soonyoung made his presence known, coming out with the other members of his dance club.

“Let go of my brother.” Soonyoung seethed, he was angry, his friends Doyoung and Hyungwon by his side. Soonyoung didn’t understand the situation but from the scene in front of him he knew something was terribly wrong. Jinsook let go of Jeonghan, his goons stepped away and ran off leaving Jinsook by himself. Soonyoung took a step forward, the fact that Jinsook was head and shoulders taller than him didn’t seem to phase him. “You need to leave.” Jinsook took one last look at Doyoung and Hyungwon before running off.

Soonyoung rushed to Jeonghan’s side, Hyungwon and Doyoung took as their cue to leave. “Don’t worry about me, check on Jisoo.” Soonyoung looked over to where Wonwoo was seated with Jisoo slouched against the wall. “What happened hyung?” Jisoo’s eyes were wide but he wasn’t responding, Jeonghan slowly walked over to where the group was, “We have to leave or we won’t catch the bus and we’ll be late picking up Chan.”

Jeonghan hated that he had to almost push aside his brother’s obvious discomfort in order to deal with the problems of the present. “Hyung, I don’t think that’s smart, Jisoo-hyung doesn’t look so good.” Of course Soonyoung was right, but what could Jeonghan do? He should call his dad. But he couldn’t. The show would be cancelled, they wouldn’t get the paycheck and they would have to tell dozens of people about the situation that Jeonghan wasn’t even fully aware of. Jeonghan decided to take matters in his own hands, he reached forward to his twin and reached his hand into his front pant pocket to take his phone out. He hated how his brother flinched, Soonyoung noticed it too.

“Wonwoo, take the phone, go catch the bus, pick up Chan and the others.” Wonwoo looked at the phone hesitantly, “What about Jisoo-Hyung?”

“Jisoo is a little out of-“

“Jisoo-Hyung will be just fine, we’ll take care of him Wonwoo-ah, you need to be a good hyung to your younger brothers and keep them safe before we get home.” When did Soonyoung get so good at lying?

Wonwoo took one last look at his hyungs, “I’ll do my best. I hope you feel better Hyung.” Wonwoo left, Jeonghan wasn’t sure what Wonwoo knew about the situation but it seemed to be extremely serious.

“What happened Jisoo?” Jeonghan asked softly, kneeling down to be beside his twin.

“I want Appa.” He whispered.

“Hyung can I hug you?” Soonyoung asked in a quiet voice, Jisoo weakly nodded, Soonyoung engulfed his elder brother in a hug.

“Appa isn’t here, Jisoo, we can’t contact him unless-“

“I don’t want Appa!” Jisoo was suddenly very distressed, his pupils were dilated, he almost started thrashing but Soonyoung held him down.

“Why don’t you want Appa?” Jeonghan asked calmly, he had always been the best at staying calm, Soonyoung had started to freak out as well and frankly Jeonghan knew he wouldn’t be able to handle two panic attacks at once.

“I don’t him to know-" Jisoo stopped talking, suddenly realizing they were in a school hallways that still had some students wandering about.

“Do you want to go home?” Jeonghan was really trying not to cry, he had suspicions of what had happened. Jisoo gave an almost unsure nod.

“Can you walk Hyung?” Soonyoung’s voice was audibly shaky. “I don’t think so.”

“That’s ok Hyung, I’ve been training really hard- I can - I can carry you home.” Jeonghan noticed the few people in the hallways either staring or pretending not to see anything, of course there would be more rumors, thankfully there was only one week left of school, they’d have to move school again, Jeonghan couldn’t wait for that conversation.

Slowly Soonyoung maneuvered Jisoo on to his back, Jeonghan took Soonyoung’s bag and followed behind them, glaring at anyone that dared to stare at them.

He sent a text to Jisoo’s phone that Wonwoo had telling him to make sure the cameras were off when they got home, and that the younger ones were in of the rooms playing. Wonwoo sent “ok.” Jeonghan sighed and watched Soonyoung begin to struggle.

Soonyoung wasn’t weak, and Jisoo wasn’t heavy but after only five minutes of carrying Jisoo, Soonyoung looked ready to collapse but he kept going knowing that Jeonghan wouldn’t have even lasted the five minutes. It takes them too long to get to the bus stop. They end up having to take the bus that was 30 minutes later than their regular one, Jeonghan informs Wonwoo of this, Wonwoo doesn’t respond, he’s probably stressed.

Jeonghan texts Jun to see when he’s done, Jun just responds, “The shoot got done early but they offered me an acting role, it pays well but I’d probably have to drop out of school. What would Appa think?”

Jeonghan sighed, Jun had stumbled into the entertainment industry and was doing it solely for the money, he never focused on school, but Jeonghan still didn’t think their Appa would agree to him dropping out, but at the same time he really didn’t want to have that conversation. Jeonghan instead responded to the text, “Just ask Appa when he gets back, there’s a situation though, it would be best if you could get home soon.”

Jun: “I’ll try hyung, what’s going on?”

Jeonghan: “I think someone might have rapedSomething happened to Jisoo at school.”

Jun: “What happened!?”

Jeonghan: “He hasn’t told us yet.”

Jun: “I’ll get home as soon as I can but the director made me have a meeting with him so I don’t know if I’ll be able to leave soon.”

Jeonghan: “Surely you can tell him it’s an emergency."

Jun: “He didn’t like it last time.” 

Last time, because of course there was a last time when someone had playfully smacked Wonwoo’s butt in gym class and he freaked out and had a panic attack. The classmate genuinely meant no harm and he was just joking around, all the other guys in class shared skinship, they were just trying to include Wonwoo, they had no idea he would freak out.

Jeonghan: “Just stay safe.” Jeonghan knew he couldn’t do anything else, that was the best he could do. The bus pulled to a stop.

“Hyung can you walk now?” Soonyoung asked, “I think so. Can I hold your hand?”

“Of course Hyung.” The pair walked hand in hand with Jeonghan trailing behind, of course the stairs were difficult but at least Soonyoung was no longer carrying Jisoo. Once they got to the apartment they were met with a whole new kind of problem.

Chan was crying because he wanted to be with the big kids, Seungkwan was in a nervous frenzy freaking out that his hyungs weren’t home, Vernon was no where to be seen, he was probably in one of the bedrooms silently retreating into the crevices of his mind to block everything out. Minghao was silently staring at the floor as Wonwoo tried to motion for him to enter the room while Seokmin was trying to console Seungkwan and Mingyu was trying hold Jihoon back from berating Wonwoo with questions because he was upset he didn’t know what was happening and Jun - well Jun probably wasn’t home yet.

“Everyone stop.” Jeonghan used his most authoritative voice, the apartment became quiet except for a few sniffles, Seungkwan ran over to hug Jeonghan’s legs. “What happened, did Eomma come back?” Seungkwan asked, his voice quivering.

“Eomma can’t come back.” Minghao whispered to himself.

“What happened?” Jihoon demanded answers,  Jisoo shrank into himself.

“Let us take our shoes off and get inside.” Jeonghan ushered the trio inside, Soonyoung helped Jisoo get his shoes off and started navigating him inside.

“What’s wrong with Jisoo-Hyung?” Seungkwan asked.

“Wonwoo I thought I asked you to get them in a bedroom.”

“We don’t want to hide - unless it was Eomma. How did she get out? Is she coming for us? I don’t want to drink nasty liquid again.”

“Kwannie you need to calm down.” Soekmin stepped in and pulled Seungkwan to his sides. “Don’t worry Eomma can’t get us, let’s go play in hyung’s room, Hao, come on.” Seokmin gestured for the boy to follow him, he didn’t move. Seokmin looked at his hyungs not sure what to do.

“Minnie just take Kwannie to the room.” Jeonghan tried to keep order but it was all falling apart.

“Where is Jun-hyung?” Where was he?

“What happened?”

“Eomma really didn’t come back right?”

“Of course not idiot.”

“Tell us what happened.”

“Please just let Jisoo-hyung sit down.”

“What happened. We have a right to know.”

“Where is Jun?”

“Can someone please take care of Minghao?”

“Not until you tell us what happened.”

“Chan - someone needs to take care of Chan too.” Chan kept crying.

“No,”

“What is your problem Jihoon?”

“I need to know, what happened, whose ass I need to beat?”

Chan kept crying.

“Wonwoo please take Chan to my room, Mingyu take care of Minghao.”

“So it was someone.”

“Jihoon stop yelling.” Chan just got louder and louder

“Chan, honey you need to calm down.”

“Where is Jun?” Minghao kept repeating the phrase over and over until the door opened and the couple walked in.

“What happened.” Hongjoong burst into action, Jeonghan was too stunned to speak. Chan was still crying, Seonghwa walked over to him and picked up him, he stopped crying, everyone stared in shock, no one but Cheol got Chan to stop crying.

“We don’t know what happened because they won’t tell us.” Suddenly Jisoo was crying and the door was opening again to reveal a stressed Jun who quickly ran to Jisoo’s side.

“Jun you need to take care of Hao.” Jeonghan said gently. Jun nodded reluctantly and picked his younger brother up and then carried him to his room.

“Mingyu can you please take Chan to one of the rooms.” Mingyu seemed reluctant but did as he was told once he was gone the questioning began.

“Do we need to call an ambulance?” Hongjoong asked. “I don’t think so, we are waiting for Jisoo to tell us what happened.” Jeonghan said, Seonghwa nodded nervously and handed Soonyoung a handkerchief to wipe the tears off Jisoo’s face. “Do we need to leave?” Seonghwa asked quietly.

“Yes.”

“Jihoon, enough! We will have a civil conversation about this.” Jeonghan’s word was final.

Jihoon sighed, “Jihoon-ah let’s talk outside.” Hongjoong stepped in, Jihoon became defensive again, “Why, you want to take me out back and beat me?”

“No, I would like to talk to you, your brother needs to be calmed down.”

“Jihoon just go with him.” Jeonghan was fed up. Jihoon grumbled and almost said something else but Hongjoong pulled him out of the apartment and into the hallway.

 

 

---

 

 

The sudden silence the hallway now held was deafening. Hongjoong really didn’t know what his plan was other than take Jihoon away from Jisoo so the teenager could calm down. Seonghwa was better at these things. But these weren’t their kids. They had no clue what was happening. Thankfully the camera crew was only filming at the work place, but had the kids thought to turn the cameras off? Did Seungcheol need to be called?

“Does your father need to be contacted?” Was the first question that left the alpha’s mouth.

Jihoon became even more defensive, “No!”

“Jihoon you need to calm down too.”

“I am calm! Why do I need to listen to you?!”

Hongjoong sighed and slid his back against the wall. He sat down, cringing at the dampness of the carpet.

“You don’t need to listen to me. I’m not your Appa. You don’t have to tell me anything, I know you’re frustrated though, sometimes it’s nice to talk about it.”

Jihoon liked standing, he didn’t run he just stood towering above a seated Hongjoong. This was all apart of the plan though, Hongjoong and heard Seonghwa talk about what to do with the kids enough time, make them seem like they are in charge and that they want to tell you what’s wrong.

“They don’t tell me anything.” There was honesty, finally. His tone was still brash but it was no longer hostile. “They think I’m still a little kid, I just want to help.”

“Sometimes helping requires being a listener, or even just a shoulder to cry on.”

“I’m not very good at that.” Jihoon whispered, his head bent, he was finally acting like the child he was and not an overzealous tween.

“That’s ok, I used to be really bad too.”

“But you’re so calm.” Jihoon now looked Hongjoong in the eyes, progress. Hongjoong laughed, “When Seonghwa and I first started dating I had the shortest temper and we were both so stubborn. We almost broke up but I just knew he was the one, I needed to compromise, I needed to be more patient and he needed to not let me have everything my way. He had to learn to give up control sometimes too, we had to learn to rely on each other.”

Hongjoong was shocked at how he made it sound so simple when in actuality the two still worked through problems and were still trying to get better. “I don’t like not being in control.” Hongjoong knew the feeling.

“I don’t like feeling useless and weak.” Hongjoong nodded. “My brothers just treat me like I’m some angry monster sometimes and I’m just worried about them. We all had bad stuff happen.” Hongjoong assumed he was talking about whatever their mother had done to them, the only problem was that all Hongjoong knew was something about abuse, the rest had been redacted.

“Do you think that maybe you have been too angry sometimes?”

“I don’t think so, I think everyone else is just trying to forget what happened because our lives still aren’t great. But I just can’t, I can’t keep going while they are just ignoring everything!” Tears threatened to come out of Jihoon’s eyes, Hongjoong questioned if he should stand up and hug the boy but decided against it for now.

“Then don’t ignore it. But don’t go yelling at your brother either.”

“Shouting is the only way to be heard in this family!”

“Have you ever tried writing it down and telling him?”

“Write him a letter? what is this, the nineteenth century?” Hongjoong sighed, “No- it’s just that sometimes you can put your thoughts better into words on a page better than what you say out loud, plus it will calm off as less - aggressive.”

“Maybe I’ll try that.”

“I hope you do.”

The two stared at each other in a moment of comfortable, Hongjoong wondering if he should continue talking to Jihoon in the hallway or see if he was ready to come inside.

“Do you want to talk about why you hate feeling powerless?” Jihoon tensed again, perhaps Hongjoong should have just left the conversation where it was at-

“I’m just asking, as someone who also doesn’t like feeling powerless, as someone who's had a hard time relying on others.”

“Mother made sure we knew who was in control, we had no say in anything. The only person who seemed immune to mother’s control was Soonyoung. He always fought back, she couldn’t let him take clients because the one time he did he bit them.”

Clients? Hongjoong’s face must have given him away. Jihoon sighed, and sat besides the Alpha.

“You probably didn’t know. It’s weird how we all assume everyone knows our traumas yet in reality there are very few people who know the extent of what happened.”

“You don’t have to-“ Jihoon put a hand up to stop Hongjoong, “I won’t tell you everything. The show was just a way for Appa to make a good amount of money for us, we shouldn’t have been so naive to think that nothing would happen that would trigger one of us.”

Jihoon sighed deeply, Hongjoong suddenly had the impression that Jihoon wasn’t a haughty 12 year old but an ancient warrior recounting his days in a losing battle.

“Our mother sold us out for men to use however they saw fit. Not all of us of course, it started when you turned 8, so only the oldest five were - used, except Soonyoung, like I said he bit anyone that came near him, mother would beat him a ruler instead, she started doing the same to me.” Jihoon pulled up the leg of his pants to reveal faint straight scars lining his calves.

Jihoon took a moment not sure how to continue, “Appa really didn’t know anything, the courts tried to say there was no way he was oblivious but he worked almost sixteen hours every single day, he came home exhausted. Mother said she had a job and that’s how she was getting money, we were better off financially back then but it was hell. She took pictures of all of us, she would post pictures of all of us naked for anyone to see. She did other stuff too. Jun-Hyung and Minghao are still sensitive to food because she tried to starve them because they’re Chinese, she tried to drown Hansol. I think - I think she had an affair, everyone knows Hansol doesn’t look like Appa, I think Appa knows I think some of the others know but I don’t think Hansol knows or ever should know. She would wash our mouths out with soup if we talked back or were loud, Seungkwan has a fear of bars of soap because Mother really hated him, she called him fat and annoying when was just 3 and Seokmin - she just hated how he’d try and smile through the pain and make us smile- she hated that he would have the audacity to make us smile, she made him drink bleach because of it and Seungkwan started crying so she made him drink some too, we had to go to the hospital for Seungkwan, they had to pump his stomach. Mother said he just got into the cleaning supplies.”

“What about Seokmin?”

“She forced him to throw it up, except she would never put her hands in his mouth, she made Mingyu do it because he would do whatever she told him to do. He was like her slave, except he was too young to know what to do so she hit him and then made Jun-hyung do it.” He was rambling, it was like he couldn’t stop.

“I’m sure Jeonghan-hyung thinks Jisoo-hyung’s been raped, and I don’t know if that’s true but Jeonghan always assumes the worse, mother made him cross dress all the time, him and Jun-hyung, they hated it, she’d make them wear short dresses and then when men would come over they would just lean them over and-“

“Jihoon-ah, you don’t need to tell me.” Hongjoong wasn’t sure it was right for Jihoon to be telling things that were deeply personal to him all people, the boy needed a therapist, they all did.

“I’ve never told anyone. When the police came they only interviewed the older ones, well only Jeonghan-hyung and Soonyoung-hyung everyone clamped up, no one else talked. Jeonghan-hyung didn’t like talking about everyone else though and since the police didn’t do their jobs properly mother could only be charged with crimes against them and against what was found on her computer. She should rot in prison for the rest of her life but she’ll probably be out before Chan is even an adult, it’s so wrong.” Finally there were tears.

Hongjoong thought that it was finally a good time to hug the child, he needed it. Jihoon stiffened at the hug but slowly leaned into it and cried more.

“I’m sorry I’m crying.”

“Don’t be sorry, never apologize for crying. You are not weak Jihoon-ah, you are the strongest 12 year old I know. I’m sorry these things happened to you, nothing I say will make it better but I’m glad you’ve finally reached out to someone.”

Jihoon didn’t say anything, he just cried more, but he had said enough. After finally admitting to someone that wasn’t his family what had happened, he could finally begin to heal.

 

 

---

 

 

Seonghwa really knew nothing. Jisoo was hugging Soonyoung tightly. Jeonghan was on his twin’s left side and Wonwoo was on the right of Soonyoung, Seonghwa had squatted in front of them on the couch. He had been asked to stay. Why?

Cheol should be called. The show should be cancelled. Seonghwa would give money to Cheol, he didn’t care, the kids needed their Appa.

“Jisoo-Ah, do you want to tell us what happened?” Seonghwa asked calmly. He had dealt with Yeosang being bullied. He had dealt with Mingi’s anxiety. He had dealt with unwelcome comments and advances at work, but he had never dealt with something like whatever this was.

“I found him in the gym storage room.” Wonwoo said, “He was on the ground, Jinsook and his friends were just leaving.” So this Jinsook had done something to Jisoo.

Soonyoung held Jisoo tighter. “What did they do to you hyung?” Soonyoung asked earnestly.

“They-“ Jisoo croaked, “They made me say things.” Jisoo didn’t elaborate.

“Did they make you tell them that we shower together?” Jeonghan asked, Jisoo was shocked but nodded.

“They held me done, when I didn’t answer their questions they would - they groped me and themselves and then Jinsook pulled my pants down and he-“

“Did he - did he rape you hyung?” Soonyoung whispered the word, almost scared of it. But one thing struck Seonghwa as odd. Soonyoung and the others did not seemed shocked or horrified about the situation they just seemed worried for their brother. Almost as if this had happened before. Had it?

“No- he - he masturbated on me.” Jisoo finally answered. Seonghwa stood up and walked over to his bag to pull out his body wipes that he always brought with him. “Do you want to clean yourself off or do you want to stay here and talk about it?” Seonghwa asked as gently as he could, he tried to make his scent calming, unsure if it was even working.

“I feel dirty and disgusting.”

“You are not disgusting Jisoo.” Jeonghan said, “Remember that, please you are perfect the way you are.” He said it like he had told his brother the exact thing multiple times before.

“Jeonghan can you help clean me up?”

“Of course Jisoo.” Jeonghan took the wipes from Seonghwa, he mouthed a quiet thank you to the omega and helped his brother walk toward the bathroom. Seonghwa watched them until the door shut. Seonghwa waited only a few seconds before asking a question. 

“This has happened before hasn’t it?” Seonghwa turned his gaze back at the two boys on the couch, they looked at each other like deers staring at headlights. “Did it have something to do with your mother? I’m not sure what happened you don’t need to tell me the details, just know that I am sorry that you had to go through whatever you went through.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Soonyoung asked. “You didn’t do anything wrong?” Wonwoo added “Our mother should be the one apologizing, not you, Mr. Kim.”

“Sorry- I mean - uh force of habit.” Seonghwa sat down next to the two, “Should I go make dinner?”

“No one will be hungry.”Wonwoo said in a quiet voice, the conversation went stale for a few minutes before Soonyoung continued.

“This has sort of happened before,” Seonghwa sat up straight, shocked that Soonyoung was going to elaborate on something clearly deeply personal.

“Our mother - she - what’s the word Wonwoo?”

“Solicited.”

“Thank you. She solicited us out to alphas for money.” That was worse than what Seonghwa had even dared to imagine.

“All - all of you?”

“No- she started when we turned eight but before then she’d take pictures of all of us but not the kind of pictures you’d put in a family photo album.” Soonyoung spoke with a strange sense of detachment like he was just stated facts on not events in his life.

“She hurt us all, but some definitely had it worse.” Wonwoo added, “Jisoo-Hyung and Jeonghan-hyung had it the worst.” Was he trying to belittle his trauma so that it didn’t seem as bad?

“Have you ever told anyone else?” Seonghwa didn’t think he was qualified to give therapy, but would gladly be a listener for them. Wonwoo shook his head but much to the younger’s surprise Soonyoung spoke. “My friends know a little bit of what happened and the court provided therapists for all of us but we didn't really talk to them.” He leaned over and pulled up his pant leg to reveals dozens of thin white lines littered down his calf’s.

“Our mother hit me with a metal ruler and it left a lot of marks, it’s kind of hard to hide these when you dance though. At first my friends thought I was self harming so I thought I should explain a little.” Seonghwa winced at his almost joking tone, but the elder knew that the boy was probably trying to ease the tension with humor even if it wasn't funny.

“What exactly did you tell them Hyung?" Wonwoo asked nervously.

“I only told them that mom would hit me, I didn’t tell them anything else until the bleach accident.” Bleach accident? Typically in Seonghwa’s experience bleach accidents normally involved stains but this seemed more sinister, against his better judgment Seonghwa blurted, “What do you mean bleach accident?”

The two boys looked at each other, Wonwoo looked unsure and Soonyoung a little less so until the elder finally responded, “Our mom loved peace and quiet but she was the one that decided she wanted a dozen kids. She’d get really angry with us when we were loud, normally she’d just wash our mouth out with soap it was disgusting but there was worse things that could happen, but one day she just got super angry and Seungkwan and she made him drink a little bleach and then Seokmin thought he would try and protect him so he tried to stop mom from making Seungkwan drink it but that just made her angry and so she forced him to drink a larger cup except Seungkwan was already having stomach pains and we had to go to the hospital except she didn’t let Seokmin go to the hospital but forced him to stay here and get Mingyu to make him throw up the bleach but he didn’t know how so I had to do it and I got really freaked and my friends could tell so then I sort of ended up telling them everything.”

Seonghwa sat there stunned. The kids hadn’t breathed.

“But you said you hadn’t told them everything Hyung!”

“I told them everything that regarded to me and if she did something really bad I couldn't keep it in anymore, without my friends I would have never had the courage to call the police anyway.”

“Hyung you didn’t tell them about me or-“

“Even if they knew my friends see me for me, not for what happened, they are good people.”

“Whatever you say Hyung.” Just then Seokmin, Mingyu and Seungkwan came out of one of the bedrooms.

“Where’s Jisoo-hyung?”

“Is he ok?”

“What about Jihoon-hyung?”

“And Jeonghan-hyung?”

“Your brothers are in the bathroom getting cleaned off, Jihoon is in the hallway.” Seonghwa answered them distancing himself from the previous conversation.

“Is Jisoo-Hyung ok?” Mingyu asked.

“He’ll be fine bud, don’t worry about Hyung.” Soonyoung ruffled his hair, Mingyu just pouted. “Did bad men come back?” Seungkwan asked.

“No.” Wonwoo said almost too fast.

“Are you ok Hyung?” Seokmin asked, it was directed at Wonwoo. “Yeah I’m fine, I need to go study for finals.” Wonwoo left quickly.

“He’s not ok is he.” Mingyu observed.

“Should I go cheer him up?” Seokmin asked. “I could sing him a song, we learned a new one at school today.” Seungkwan added.

Seonghwa thought it was sweet how the kids seemed to be so I tune with each other but he also knew that they were like that from years of abuse and relying on each other.

“I think it would be best if you just let your hyung study.” Seonghwa didn’t know if it was best but it seemed to be a good answer. “Ok.” Mingyu said.

“Since there’s no school tomorrow could we maybe play a game?” Seungkwan asked gingerly. “That sounds like a great idea.” Seonghwa stood up and walked with Seungkwan over to the dresser the tv was on that had a few games. They were again distancing themselves from situation. Maybe it was the right thing to do maybe it wasn’t but Seonghwa was going to make sure these kids lived the best three weeks of their lives.

Chapter Text

Chan woke with a groan at the alarm. He reached over to turn the beeping off and rolled out of the bed. Today was the second day of following Hongjoong’s routine and honestly it could be a whole lot worse.

Because the Kim household had two parents Hongjoong’s brother had been coming over and taking care of the tasks Seonghwa normally would have done but next Thursday Chan would left by himself with the kids. He wasn’t really worried about that part though, it was more the ridiculous standards Seonghwa held the cleanliness to the house too.

Hongjoong’s schedule was honestly a slightly more laid back schedule than Chan’s own and frankly although he had no design experience he sort of enjoyed coming up with patterns and designs, and he even liked being served breakfast.

He hadn’t really spoken to the kids since Thursday though.

He hoped they were doing ok with the absence of their parents.

Chan hoped his own kids were doing ok with this absence.

As Chan hopped into the shower his thoughts turned to his kids.

Had it really been smart to leave them with strangers?

Would Chan get the call that the show had been cancelled because his kids had scared the parents off?

The omega brushed the thoughts aside as he washed his hair with Hongjoong’s expensive shampoo. Living as the alpha was somehow easy and difficult at the same time.

On one hand Chan thought he found a kindred spirit in Hongjoong even if the two had never met, and on the other the alpha seemed to be everything Chan wanted but could never have.

Chan deep down just wanted a healthy life.

A loving mate.

Children that weren’t traumatized.

A brain and mentality that didn’t want him dead half of the time.

And the worst part, Chan hated himself for thinking and wanting all of those things.

It was his fault he got involved with Jinwook, he had a future as an idol if he hadn’t gotten sidetracked.

His kids being traumatized was his fault too, and how dare he think that his kids were somehow not as good as normal kids. He stayed with Jinwook. Why had he stayed?

And if he was dead he’d leave his kids all alone.

Even if he hardly saw them at least he could provide for them.

At least he could give them luxuries they couldn’t when their Appa controlled their lives.

“Aish stop thinking like this brain!” Chan told himself, gently slapping his head, “Get it together.”

He got out of the shower and washed his face.

Another difference, Hongjoong actually cared about his physical appearance, or maybe working with people who made people look good for a living forced you to take care of yourself. Chan washed his face with the cleaner, toner, serum and moisturizer, shaved any stubble on his chin, combed and blow dried his hair and then went to the closet.

Hongjoong had chosen outfits for the contestants already, at least that’s what Chan assumed was the reason behind pants and tops being hung on the same hangers meant.

Of course a stylist would have to have a stylish outfit and considering Chan only wore black partially so he would never have to worry if something matched, Chan believed it was a smart decision on Hongjoong’s part.

After Chan was dressed he questioned doing makeup, Hongjoong had wrote that it was more normal for him to wear makeup than for him not to wear makeup, something to do with the fashion industry.

Chan had only worn makeup a few times back when he was an idol trainee, and even then it wasn’t him who put it on it was his fellow roommates that wanted to mess around. The producer sighed and decided to forgo the makeup again.

He walked out of the room surprised to see Yuhno awake and still at the house until he realized it was Saturday so of course he was at the house.

“Good morning Mr. Bang.” Yuhno greeted first, even bowing to the older, Chan returned the bow, “Morning Yuhno.” The brunettes eyes lit up, “You remember my name!”

“Uh -yeah.”

“But we only talked once.”

“I know but we are living together for a few weeks, I should know your name.” Chan was confused over how excited the 11 year old seemed to be because he remembered something as basic as his name.

“Most of Eomma and Appa’s friends don’t remember any of our names. Well they aren’t their friends they’re coworkers or something.”

“Ah - I see.”

“Does everyone’s coworkers not know their kids names?”

This was too many questions in the morning before breakfast, but Chan tried to comply.

“I’ll be honest I don’t talk to most of my coworkers so I don’t even know if they have kids, I doubt they know my kids names.”

Yuhno seemed genuinely upset.

“That’s so sad. Do your friends know about your kids?”

Did Chan even have friends?

“I - don’t have friends.”

Yuhno cocked his head to the side, and took a few steps forward to be right in front of Chan.

“I’ll be your friend Mr. Chan.” The boy hugged Chan. Yuhno was about the height of Minho, the top of his head ending at Chan’s shoulder. The kid would probably end up being quite tall.

“Thanks Yuhno, I need to get to work though.”

“Right - ok, we should eat breakfast together! I’ll go wake up Mingi.” The kid skipped off to his room. Chan didn’t know what to think.

He decided to just not think about it and start to walk to the stairs only for two boys to run into him.

It was Yuhno and Mingi.

Mingi looked much more disheveled, his hair sticking up everywhere, the kid grunted ‘good morning.’

“Ok, let’s go see what Keun samchon made for us.” Yuhno was still bright and happy, completely contradicting the moods of Chan and Mingi.

Bumjoong was still working in the kitchen, he seemed stressed and not prepared, he must have gotten to the house late.

“Keun samchon what’s for breakfast?” Yuhno asked happily.

The beta turned to look at the trio, and then at the clock.

“8:15, why are you two awake?” He was addressing his nephews.

“Yuhno-hyung woke me up!”

“Hey don’t blame me, yesterday you said you wanted me to wake you up early so we could play games.”

“It’s too early.”

“We wake up earlier every other day.”

“It’s a Saturday. I’m going back to bed.” Mingi left, somehow looking more tired than he did when he woke up.

Yuhno looked dejected for a second and then covered it up quickly.

“Can I help Keun Samchon?” Bumjoong looked at the large eyes of his eldest nephew, before giving in.

“I think I’ll just skip breakfast today.” Chan said, knowing that if he waited until they were done he’d be late for work.

Not that it was his job.

Why was he so anxious to get away?

To drown himself in fake work that really was futile?

“No - eomma says you shouldn’t skip breakfast when you have a long day ahead.” Yuhno recited faithfully.

“I appreciate that Yuhno-ah, but I need to get going.”

Yuhno looked sad again, for another split second before looking fine and understanding again.

It was as if he forced himself to be fine even if it wasn’t fine.

“Ok - have a good day at work Mr. Bang.”

“Bye Yuhno-ah, goodbye Bumjoong-Hyung.”

Bumjoong just nodded his goodbye as he struggled over a large bowl of cabbage, right Seonghwa made his own kimchi.

Well that was something to look forward too...

Work was fine.

The camera crew filmed that Saturday but Chan didn’t feel uncomfortable because of the cameras but because of all the other employees at the fashion company, they were all trying to get themselves and their designs in the background of the shot.

Chan just did his work which was mainly pattern and piece matching. They were styling an idol group for a music video and the concept was bright and sunny, to say very little Chan was having a hard time figuring out colors matched because as previously mentioned he only owned blacks and occasionally dark gray.

Despite his struggles though he was proud of his three outfit ensemble he had put together for one of the members of the group.

His supervisor however hated it, chewed Chan out during the filming and proceeded to tell him he needed to do it over.

Chan wasn’t even an actual employee yet they were treating him as such, but for some reason Chan got the impression that they would never do that to Hongjoong, his work station held several awards and letters from celebrities and idols he had worked with thanking him for accommodating style and modesty preferences.

After starting again though Chan became lost in whether pastels looks better with dark denim or washed out denim and whether ripped jeans or shorts were the way to go, and what jewelry should be worn if any, and what was up with the shoe options?

After remaking the three outfits and again being told that they were garbage Chan gave up and took his lunch break.

It had been a complete repeat of the day before.

Except this time cameras were filming the entire thing.

When Chan had first read about Hongjoong’s job he couldn’t imagine why he was working twelve plus hour days, but now he saw that fashion was a really tricky business, the deadline for three outfits for a dress check was Monday at noon, yet the manager was not cutting any corners.

Chan legitimately had to get at least two outfits approved before he’d be able to leave because there’d be no way to get three accomplished on Monday.

“It really is a lot harder than it looks.” Chan told the camera crew between bites of the company provided food.

Chan hated to admit, but somehow the ultra organic, sugar free, preservative free, dye free, joy free food his company served was somehow better than the stodgy rice and curry the fashion company provided.

Chan thought that Designers would be stingy with their diet, but that was impossible if they were eating the company food.

Back at his work station Chan examined the inspiration pictures carefully as well as the notes on the idol he was dressing.

Chan decided that maybe the best thing to do was to not think about it.

Who cares if it matches?

And so that’s how he came up with a white graphic tea shirt under a short sleeve striped open button up shirt with white shorts, long patterned socks and bulky shoes with a red ascot scarf around the belt loops. To Chan the outfit was honestly borderline a fashion disaster even by his standards but for some reason the manager loved it.

The second outfit Chan decided to take inspiration from his own closet and create an all black outfit, black mesh shirt, baggy black pants with random ribbons attacked to them, black combat boots and a black baseball cap. Chan had no idea how the two outfits fit the concept but apparently there would be three shots with a more grungy vibe so black was fine.

The manager wasn’t completely pleased with the second outfit though but didn’t tell Chan to go back to the drawing board completely.

Chan decided to grab one of those lacy half skirt things that he didn’t believe people actually wore along with a skin colored form fitting undershirt that had tattoo designs, he but the shirt under the black mesh one and was strangely pleased with the results.

The omega still thought the outfit was awful, but then again it seemed the manager only approved awful outfits.

Pleased with the work Chan began work on the third outfit before realizing it was already nearing 11.

He had no clue how that happened.

He left quickly eager to get back to the house, he knew the kids would probably be asleep as were his kids back home, but it still was sad.

Chan would often lie to himself saying that he saw his kids more than he really did, but that was him getting home at 9.

Why was Chan working so many hours?

His royalty payments alone would probably be enough to sustain his family on a tight budget but along with the every day work he did Chan was making way more than he needed too.

Hongjoong didn’t have royalties but according to financial statements his company probably payed him around the same as Chan.

Seonghwa had his book royalties.

The family was well off.

Hongjoong worked so hard so that his family could live comfortably, and also so that he would stay relevant in the fashion industry.

But Chan worked -

Why did he work so hard?

He could never answer that.

He loved his job, it was one of the few things he loved, but he also cared very little about it sometimes. He loved his kids though.

So why did he spend double if not triple the time working than he did with his kids?

Why did he think like this?

Why did his thoughts consume him so much that he almost forgot which road to turn on to?

As Chan parked the car in the driveway that was less clean than it was when he got here he took in the surroundings of the home.

It was in a suburban neighborhood, sure it meant a longer commute to work and school but the family had more space and more room to play.

Maybe he should move to a house.

Seungmin would be happy to finally practice baseball on grass and not a concrete outside hallway.

Changbin would be happy to finally be able to practice cheerleading without neighbors yelling at him for jumping.

Minho probably wouldn’t have to share a room with two kids that were less than half his age.

Hyunjin could practice soccer, a sport he had recently picked up.

It seemed perfect.

Almost too perfect.

If Chan tried to change the families living conditions would that make him a bad parent for trying to forget the past or a good parent for trying to move on?

“Ahhh.” Chan slapped himself in the head, “Stay in the present!”

Chan told himself before opening the door to the home.

Maybe that was the difference.

This was a home.

Even if it had been unnaturally clean when he first got here and not cluttered it still felt homey.

Chan’s apartment still reeked of an old time that had been filled with abuse and sorrow.

“You’re back.” It was Bumjoong slaving away at putting away toys in the living room.

“Uh - yeah, how was your day?” When had Chan become so socially awkward?

“Busy, you know - kids and all. I love my nephews and I’ve always respected Seonghwa-ah, but I don’t think I’ll be able to look at him the same way again.” Bumjoong chuckled a little as he put away the tote of toys, and stood up, “I’m getting too old for this.” He laughed again, “How was work?”

“It was fine.”

“Just fine?” Bumjoong enquired as he walked away from the living to the kitchen in order to wipe the counters off.

“There is a project that is due by lunch Monday, I worked on that - got most of it done.”

“I’m surprised they’re having you do actual work.”

“Me too.”

“You want some tea or something, you seem a little down - in fact you’ve seemed down every time I’ve seen you?”

“No thank you Bumjoong-Hyung, I guess I just miss my kids.”

Bumjoong nodded, “You don’t have to be so formal with me, I’m not that much older than you.”

“Uh thank you but I have a hard time speaking casually.”

“Whatever fits you best - how many kids did you say you had again?” Bumjoong walked the kitchen rag he used to wipe the counters off to the laundry room, returning with a small bottle of the lemon essential oil to put in the diffuser.

“I don’t think I ever told you, I have seven kids.”

“Aish. That takes a lot of guts to have that many.” The beta turned the diffuser on and walked off to put the oil away, Chan sat down at the island.

“Not really.”

“Well I’ve never had kids so I guess I can’t disagree with you but I do find that hard to believe, especially in this day and age large families really don’t exist much anymore. People are too scared or have no desire to have children or simply can’t for whatever reason but you have seven, I’d say that’s an accomplishment.”

Chan didn’t say anything but look down at the sparkling counter.

He should have 8.

But he didn’t like to think about that.

He didn’t like to think of that time with Jinwook when he 18.

His first heat with an alpha.

A positive pregnancy test.

And then blood.

So much blood.

Just 19 weeks.

So many lies to the company, “heat complications” he had told them.

But Chan knew they must have found out when months later he told them he had to leave.

Why had he given up his longterm dream for Jinwook’s desire for pups and an omega?

Had Chan ever even wanted kids?

He loved his kids now and would never give them up but-

What if?

“Chan are you ok.” How did Bumjoong get so close?

The beta was standing right beside him now.

“Uh - yeah just tired. Goodnight hyung.”

“Good night Chan, but seriously if there’s anything you need or something I can help. I have experience dealing with anxiety or whatever you’re feeling, I’m a trained therapist actually.”

Well that was inconvenient. Or very convenient if Chan ever actually wanted to deal with his problems.

“Really thank you Hyung, but I’m really fine I promise, good night.”

Chan ran off like a child running away from punishment.

Seriously what was his problem?

 

The next day was a new kind of torture for Chan.

On one hand he was glad to finally get to know the kids, but on the other bad he had the strange feeling that Bumjoong was analyzing his every move almost waiting for him to slip up.

The group had gone to the park early in the morning with a packed picnic lunch, the kids played while the adults sat on a picnic bench, which Chan quickly left with the excuse, “Jongho needs someone to push him on the swing.”

Bumjoong didn’t believe that for one second as Yeosang was already with his younger brother and ready to push him himself. Chan politely asked him to play with his other siblings under the guise of, “You need to play and have fun too.”

Chan was unsure whether or not Yeosang’s version of fun was pushing his brother on the swing, all he knew was that when his kids were young Minho had tons of fun pushing his siblings off the swings.

Off

Not on.

Jinwook had said Minho was a psychopath.

Cause telling kids something was fundamentally wrong with their brains was great for childhood development.

Honestly Chan’s kids had gotten used to Minho’s pushing though and made it a game to see who could stay on the longest.

Hyunjin lost every time, without fail.

Changbin ended up with so many cuts and bruises but always claimed he could do it again.

Seungmin refused to go on the swing.

Jisung always won because Minho wouldn’t push him as hard.

“I want to go higher.”

Stay in the present Chan.

 

“Ok Jongho.”

 

< >

 

Yuhno was initially excited to go to the park with Mr. Chan and his siblings. Although the group tended to scare off some children because they were quote, “Demons” the siblings normally would still have fun.

They had grown up being slightly ostracized from kids their age especially Yuhno and Yeosang, the others were probably too young to realize what exactly was going on. Growing up the other kids would purposefully leave Yuhno and Yeosang out because the kid's parents thought Yuhno’s parents were “Not the right sort.”

One parent teacher conference in which Yuhno’s mom and dad talked openly about their work was all it took for rumors to spend in the elementary school. They would say things like Seonghwa must be an unfaithful mate in order to be “that type” of model, and Hongjoong couldn’t have been a good alpha since he let his omega do whatever he wanted and he himself partook in eccentric fashion choices.

Yuhno never understood why people didn’t like his mom and dad.

He didn’t understand why kids bullied Yeosang for having a birthmark.

He didn’t understand why teachers would yell at Mingi for having learning difficulties and San for having a hard time sitting still.

Wooyoung hadn’t really experienced any form of bullying as far as Yuhno knew. Wooyoung had friends and the preschool teachers loved him even if he did occasionally cause problems and Jongho, well, as soon as he started to regularly sleep through the night he became almost coddled in affection by his older family members even if he wasn't an angel.

Yuhno knew about all of this.

He didn’t understand it all but to him the situation was obvious. It was obvious to him when his siblings were struggling, that had been the reason he had asked to share a room with Mingi, because he could always tell when Mingi was about to freak out.

So why was Mr. Chan pretending to be fine?

Yuhno assumed it was because the omega missed his kids, but he didn’t speak much about them, he didn’t speak much about himself in general, he deflected everything.

Yuhno had seen the way his uncle had look at Mr. Chan the previous day, and Yuhno had even overheard a conversation the two had had the previous night when he was about to go downstairs for a glass of water.

Yuhno knew he probably should have heard that conversation but he couldn’t help it. Mr. Chan was sad enough for Uncle Bumjoong to offer his services on the spot in a setting where he wasn’t on the clock.

So clearly, something must be wrong.

After about another hour the group took a break from play to eat lunch.

The group got a few odd stairs, which was normal for the family, you don’t see families with six kids anymore, plus there was a camera crew around them, that probably added to the spectacle.

Wooyoung babbled like always, unbothered by the cameras but it was obvious that everyone else felt uncomfortable.

“The food tastes great uncle Bumjoong.”

“You should be a chef.”

“It’s not as good as Eomma’s though.”

“I can’t wait till Eomma Chan cooks for us again!” Mr. Chan had given up quickly to correcting the way Wooyoung addressed him.

“I don’t think my cooking is anything special, your uncle’s cooking is much better than mine.”

Bumjoong was taking note of the way Mr. Chan was talking and if Yuhno was right they would mean that both of them noticed how Mr. Chan had again deflected a question. It filled Yuhno with a sense of satisfaction that he and his uncle were noticing the same things.

“Do you go to parks with your kids, Eomma Chan?” It appeared San had also taken to calling him that.

“I used to, my kids are a little older than you, and I work late, it’s just me, there’s not really time to go to the park.”

“Not even on Sundays?”

“I normally take one of the days of weekend to do something special with just one or two of my boys, and rotate around that.”

That seemed like a legitimate answer, except it also sounded off, “I don’t understand, why not just spend time with all of your kids?” Yuhno finally asked a question.

“Uh- I think it’s important to have one on one time you know.”

Yuhno did not know.

But in a way it sounded nice.

Just him and Eomma or Appa going to see the new spiderman movie or going and getting ice cream, just the two of them.

But then they’d have to leave the others behind.

And that’s not how the Kim’s worked.

All together, always, Appa would joke, “Eight makes one team and one team makes one family.”

The stronger the bond they had with everyone the stronger they could be together.

But what if a bond could go stronger with separate time given to just have “one on one” time?

Yuhno was so engrossed in his thoughts he didn’t even realizing his uncle asking him for help cleaning the picnic stuff until Yeosang nudged him.

“Hyung.”

“Uh yeah.”

“Aren’t you going to help?”

“Right- yeah - of course.”

The group picked up their garbage, blanket, and leftover food and left to climb into the car.

Mr. Chan drove because Eomma always preferred not to drive when possible and uncle was acting in place of Eomma.

It was a strange concept, especially since Wooyoung kept calling him Eomma Chan when he actually acting in the role of Appa until Thursday.

Once they were home uncle got straight to work, watching uncle continuously work really made Yuhno realize how much his Eomma did for them, it made him more grateful.

Mr. Chan played with them and even watched Yuhno and Mingi’s Just Dance battle until Wooyoung began to fight for his attention by jumping up and down on the couch Mr. Chan was sitting on.

“You shouldn’t jump on furniture Wooyoung-ah.”

“But I want you to play with me!” Wooyoung walked over and threw himself on Mr. Chan, the omega straightened the boy onto his lap and calmly explained, “How about we pick up all the toys you got out.”

“But that’s no fun.”

“Cleaning can be fun Youngie.” San spoke from the corner where he was playing blocks with Jongho until he accidentally knocked over the tower Jongho was making.

“Hyung!” It was the loudest thing Jongho had said for several days. Most of the time Yuhno’s youngest brother was very mild mannered but when he got angry everyone knew.

Yuhno almost forgot why Jongho had been the one to keep the entire house up at night when he was a baby until he started yelling at his brothers. It should be biologically impossible for a three year old to have the lung capacity of an opera singer, but nothing was impossible with Jongho.

“I’m so sorry Jongho!” San freaked out, he frantically tried to rebuild the tower, Mingi shrank into the corner at the loud noise, Yeosang ran from his spot on one of the chairs to his brother.

“Jongho you don’t need to cry, we can fix it.”

“Hyung did it.”

“I’m sorry it was an accident.” San was somehow crying more than Jongho just quieter and shakier.

"Jongho-ah your brother didn’t mean to, you can rebuild the tower.” Mr. Chan had stood up from his seat in the couch, Wooyoung dangling from his shoulders.

“I’m really sorry Jongho.” San tried again.

Jongho pouted some more, Yuhno was unsure if he should step in.

“How about we go upstairs and listen to some music.” Yeosang, ever the peacemaker tried to step in.

Jongho was having none of it.

“Hyung needs to fix my tower.”

“Jongho that’s no way to speak to your brother.” Everyone stared in shock.

Jongho never got in trouble.

Everyone appeased the boy because at the end of the day who would the parents believe? The youngest that had been an angel as soon as he was able to sleep through the night or one of the other five kids that all had histories of being at a least a little bit of troublemakers.

“San apologized, you don’t have to forgive him right this second but you shouldn't yell at him after he apologized, it was an accident after all.”

Jongho seemed to stare into Mr. Chan’s soul.

“Ok. Hyung.” San looked up, he looked way too apologetic, maybe being overly sorry about everything was an inherited trait?

“It’s ok, please don’t do it again.”

San was so confused. Jongho even seemed shocked at the words that came out of his mouth, Mingi retreated from the corner and grabbed onto Yuhno’s hand.

“Can we go upstairs now Hyung?” Jongho asked Yeosang.

“Sure-“

“You should help San pick up the blocks first.”

What was Mr. Chan getting at?

Yeosang spared not a second and began helping San, Jongho reluctantly did the same with less enthusiasm. Soon the blocks were cleaned up and Yeosang and Jongho went upstairs.

“That’s never happened before.” Yuhno started.

Mingi was nervously pulling on Yuhno’s arm, making the elder sit on the ground.

“It’s ok- everyone gets upset sometimes, San-ah could you come here?” Chan brushed it off as if it happened every day, and yet Yuhno had the sinking suspicion that it did happen every day but it used to.

San nervously walk forward with his eyes staring at his feet in shame, he probably thought Mr. Chan was going to punish him. Yuhno was not sure what was about to happen all he knew was that the unspoken rule of never misbehaving while Appa was present had sort of been broken.

It wasn’t that Yuhno and his siblings were perfect, they messed up of course they did, but they all knew that they only got to see their Appa for maybe a whole day out of the week, they were not going to spend that time being in trouble.

Plus punishments could be borderline cruel at least in Yuhno’s eyes.

His mom and dad would never punish them via a physical beating or verbal harassment it was always chores in the worse sense.

It wasn’t manual labor.

It was just high expectation of how the chore should be done.

Of course they could always ask for help, but depending on how much pride they had the chore might have to be done multiple times until Eomma deemed it was done right or it could be done once with Eomma’s help.

The parents didn’t mind which way any of the kids chose, they just hoped they chose the simpler one.

Yuhno had heard stories of some of the punishments kids in his class got at home and was thankful that he was never slapped across the face of forced to carry a large bucket of ice water over his head until he dropped it.

But still he hated the punishments because it always started in his parents’ room with Appa giving him a good talking to.

Even so, Yuhno knew that his parent’s punishments were not traditional and was unsure on how Mr. Chan would continue.

“Yuhno-ah, could you please go get some napkins or wipes.”

“Yes, I’ll be right back.” Yuhno left nervously, it was an odd request, San seemed more nervous than Mingi, now that Yuhno had left the room had started biting his nails, Wooyoung was still dangling off Mr. Chan’s neck without a care in the world.

Yuhno rummaged under the organized totes under the downstairs bathroom sink before he found a pack of wet wipes, he passed his uncle who was doing laundry before he went back to the living room.

“Is everything doing ok in there?” His uncle asked unsure whether he should be worried or not.

“I think everything’s fine Keun Samchen, Jongho just had a bit of a meltdown.”

“I see, do I need to go check on him?”

“Probably he’s with Yeosang upstairs.”

“OK, I’ll do that now.” Uncle left and Yuhno gave the wet wipes to Mr. Chan in the living room who took one out to wipe off the tears on San’s face. Yuhno took a seat on the ground next to Mingi who was biting heavily on his nails.

“I’m glad you care about your brother but you have a say in things too San-ah.”

“Ok.”

“Sannie we should play together outside!” Wooyoung jumped up and down on the couch still grabbing on to Mr. Chan’s shirt.

“Do you want to play outside San?”

The boy nodded cautiously.

“Yah!!” And then it was too late.

Wooyoung jumped again this time pulling Mr. Chan’s collar down too due to the stretchy fabric of the shirt.

It revealed a gnarled bite mark that looked as if it had been attempted to be removed but the body had rejected the treatments.

“What’s that?”

Of course Wooyoung couldn’t control his mouth. Mr. Chan looked so nervous or maybe he was scared?

“It’s my mating mark.”

“Oh- wait but there’s no Appa?”

Should Yuhno step in?

“He was a very bad man, he’s in prison now, so that’s why the mark looks like that.”

Yuhno was so confused.

He had just assumed that Mr. Chan’s mate had died, or maybe he never had a mate and had many different relationships, but now, Mr. Chan’s mate was a bad guy.

“Oh.”

San went to hug Mr. Chan. “Eomma-Chan I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be - don’t apologies for other’s mistakes.”

“That’s what you told me after the park.” Wooyoung was happy again, San was now sad because Mr. Chan was sad and Mingi-

Mingi hadn’t said a word.

Yuhno went to look at his younger brother only to be horrified.

“Mingi you need to stop hurting yourself!” Mr. Chan was no longer on the couch but on the ground kneeling in front of Mingi taking the small hands into his larger ones.

“San where are those wet wipes? Yuhno grab me some ice cubes and a towel.”

The two did as they were told.

Mingi was bleeding, he had stopped biting his nails and started biting the skin around his nails ripping off any hangnails or loose skin until his hands were runny with blood.

Yuhno returned with the ice and towel.

“Put the towel on his lap, give him the ice.” Yuhno did what he was told.

“San please take Wooyoung upstairs.”

“What’s wrong with hyung? Why is he bleeding?” Wooyoung was screeching, clearly scared for his brother.

“Youngie let’s go.”

“But Hyung!”

“Wooyoung!”

San got Wooyoung out of the room.

“Mingi-Ah hold the ice, and just squeeze your hands into fists. I understand you want to hurt yourself but you can’t ok, you just can’t.”
Mr. Chan acted like he had done this before.

“Breath Mingi. Smell the flowers and blow out the candles.” Yuhno felt so helpless all he could do was sit and watched how the ice melted into a pinkish color due to the blood.

Mingi slowly calmed down but his hands were still clenched tightly.

 

“I need to look at your hands.”

“No - they are ugly now, eomma’s going to be mad.”

“Eomma won’t be mad Mingi.”

“No I messed my hands up again they are ugly now.”

“Mingi, look at me.” The boy slowly turned his head up to look at the older omega.

“It’s ok. It really is ok.” Mingi breathed a few more breaths before giving the man his hands.

The bleeding had stopped. “Your hands are going to heal just fine ok. Yuhno can you grab me some bandaids.”

Yuhno grabbed the bandaids, Mr. Chan put three bandaids on three separate fingers. It had apparently looked a lot worse than it was.

“There, all better. Now can I give you a hug, hugs make everything better.”

“Ok.” The omega hugged Mingi from the front, Yuhno fell onto his brother from behind.

This had definitely happened to Mr. Chan or one of his sons before.

Why did such nice people have such bad things happen to them?

Why was life so unfair?

Chapter Text

Cheol checked the time for probably the twelfth time. 8:20, still too early to leave.

Cheol sighed dramatically and sat back in the cushioned office chair.

One of the musical supervisors had taught him the basics of songwriting on Friday and Sunday and now he was supposed to just do it.

The supervisor had told him to start with lyrics but Cheol didn’t know how so then the supervisor told him to start with a theme or concept but he didn’t know how so now Cheol was basically doing nothing but staring off into space.

How did people just write music?

The only my thing Cheol could figure out how to do was make a short beat with a high tech GarageBand software, he was actually pretty proud of it but the supervisor had looked at him like he was dumb.

Cheol assumed that meant it wasn’t good.

So instead Cheol had started listening to Chan-ssi’s entire discography.

It would take him approximately over 30 hours to listen to everything but at least it was something to do.

Chan-ssi wrote a wide range of music and had about another ten hours of incomplete demos and then another 2 hours of completed songs that had yet to be chosen by a group or soloist. Chan-ssi had wrote music for everybody that was somebody, he had worked with BOMG even. Cheol couldn’t wait to tell his kids.

One thing that was odd though was the stark difference in the original SoundCloud songs and the newer songs. Most of the songs on SoundCloud were emotional raps with lyrics that were sometimes heart wrenching about loving someone you should hate, being too afraid to leave, and loving your kids but hated yourself. Cheol was convinced that Chan needed therapy, like yesterday. The newer songs had more variety, ballads, hip hop, pop, techno, rock and even the modern trot style that BOMG loved so much.

Cheol checked the clock again, 8:23, it was going to be a long night.

He decided to give up on lyrics and take a walk which he was allowed because that’s what Chan did when he was stuck.

Cheol wanted to go back to the apartment, back to the kids, even if they weren’t his kids, he couldn’t help it his parental instincts were too strong.

After taking a walk, going to the bathroom, and filling up his water bottle it was still only 9 pm.

Cheol wrote maybe two more lines of lyrics and added maybe a measure of beats to the soundtrack and then checked the clock again.

“I really don’t see how this is even productive. How can someone be actively working for over twelve hours, I’m sure Chan-ssi could get the same amount, maybe a little less done it eight hours and work normal hours. This isn’t normal!”

The alpha was so happy that the camera crew weren’t planning on filming his work until tomorrow, he decided he was just going to continue to copy the lyrics he already wrote over and over again to make it look like he was doing something. By 10 pm he gave up.

“I’m not one to quit early but I’m just wasting my time here, it’s been twelve hours!” Cheol grabbed Chan’s keys and card along with his water bottle because the only healthy part about Chan’s lifestyle was that he drank enough water.

Cheol ignored any and everyone that was also still working at the ungodly hour and made his way to the train station.

He hadn’t brought any of Chan’s work equipment home because Cheol refused to work more hours, because at the end of the day he wasn’t actually doing anything.

He wondered how the other parents were getting along with his job and if his supervisor was giving them trouble. She probably wasn’t considering she liked keeping appearances up even if they were the farthest things from the truth.

Once on the train he enjoyed the silence and abandonment of the train provided at the late hour.

He left the train and the station and walked the rest of the way to the apartment, it made no sense to Cheol why they continued to live in the same apartment where those troubled years must have taken place when they had the money to move. If he had the money that would have been the first thing Cheol would have done, unfortunately it was either a new apartment or small saving accounts for his kids, he chose the saving accounts.

Cheol sighed the second he opened the apartment door. It smelt strongly of stir fry. As he toed off his shoes he noticed that even at the late hour most of the lights were still on. He looked closer to see Changbin hunched over a book at the table.

“Oh hi.” The boy said.

“Hi, don’t stay up too late, kids your age need sleep.” Cheol replied awkwardly, not expecting to see anyone up.

Changbin scoffed at that.

“I’m not a little kid.”

“I know, but teenagers need more sleep than adults so they’ll grow more.”

“That’s what the kids at school say.” By now Cheol had taken a seat across from Changbin at the table, he noticed water running in the bathroom, someone must be taking a shower. “Well they are right-“

“Ahh come on don’t be like that. Don’t try and patronize me telling me I should go to sleep early so that I’ll grow, Minho-hyung’s barely taller than me and he’s barely shorter than Eomma, I know I won’t grow so don’t treat me like a child!” This wasn’t about his height - that much was obvious to Cheol. There was an underlying issue.

“I know you’re not a child, you’re mature for your age I’m sure you’ll told that all the time, you had to grow up fast.”

“Actually people call me immature, aren’t I acting immature right now?” So he was turning defensive, that was an interesting turn of events.

“I don’t think you’re acting immature.” Cheol was going to take the gentle approach, the kind that worked when Wonwoo or Hansol was worked up about something or when Mingyu was compulsively doing chores when he thought someone was mad at him or when Jisoo was having a nightmare…

“Well that’s nice to hear.” Sarcasm oozed from the teen’s lips.

“Is something actually wrong? You don’t have to tell me, I just think that sometimes talking can help.” Changbin looked at Cheol like he was some alien.

“I have a final tomorrow, I don’t have time for this.” Changbin started to gather his books until Hyunjin burst from his room in tears.

“Binnie-hyung I’m gonna fail and I’m gonna have to repeat a grade and everyone’s gonna laugh at me.”

Hyunjin came and threw himself in his brother’s arms not even noticing that Cheol was right there.

“Ah Jinnie don’t cry, it’ll ruin your perfect face.” Changbin squeezed his brother’s cheeks him his hand. The shocking difference in Changbin’s attitude should have shocked Changbin but he had seen enough of that flip in his own children.

“Stop hyung.” Hyunjin slapped at Changbin’s hand.

“Don’t worry Jinnie, I passed didn’t I?”

“Barely..”

“That doesn’t matter, I still passed, and you will too and then you’ll be able to go to Middle School with me.”

“But you go to a good middle school, there’s no way I’d be able to get in with my grades.”

“Then you make them want you, become a cheerleader with me and then they won’t be able to say no.”

“Ok Hyung!” The two hugged and Hyunjin ran back to his room. It was settled almost too fast.

“It’s late Hyung-“

“I know I know, don’t wait up for me.” Hyunjin nodded as Changbin waved him off before turning his sights back to Cheol.

“Nothing is wrong with me, it’s just a lot.”

“I get it.”

“Do you? Do you know how it is to lead a double life, one at school were everything has to be fine and another at home were everything has to be fine but inside the past is just eating you up?” Cheol was right - there was something wrong - he just didn’t know how to continue.

When his kids had told him about their double lives they all just sobbed and sobbed and wanted to be hugged and held. But he couldn’t really do that with Changbin, and he was right, he never had to go through what these poor kids had to go through.

“Seungmin told me about a little of what happened, and I’m sorry about it-“

Changbin almost cut in but Cheol cut him off - “No I am not patronizing you. I don’t know the full story, you don’t need to tell me, but I know it was bad and it isn’t something you just walk away from and forget, I think you need to talk to someone about it, I think you all need to talk to someone.”

The court had provided therapy for all thirteen of them for just six months, of course it didn’t fix everything but those six months had been helpful and full of healing. But it seems as if this family had had no counseling whatsoever.

“Minho-hyung would never trust people to listen to what happened. He never even listened to the court psychiatrist.”

Why did everything revolve on what Minho thought? It was like the fourteen year old was running a small monarchy where he was the king.

“It’s not Minho’s decision if you want therapy or not.”

“Yeah but- Hyung - he - well he-“

“I what?” Suddenly Minho was behind Cheol. Cheol slowly turned to look behind him, Minho had been the one in the shower, that much was obvious with his damp hair and slightly flushed appearance.

“Nothing Hyung. Dinner was really good tonight, I’m going to bed. Night Hyung - goodnight Mr. Choi.” Changbin left quickly, leaving his books on the table.

Cheol wasn’t sure now was the best time to approach Minho, but something was wrong with this family, not that his family was perfect and they definitely hid things, but they also shared everything with each other and a few other trusted individuals.

“Why are you back early?” Minho interrogated putting a container of food into the microwave.

“Doing the same job for over 12 hours is completely ridiculous especially since nothing I even do during those hours will ever be used.

“Maybe you just don’t have my eomma’s work ethic.” Was this kid really about to mock him?

“It’s not that, I used to work 16 hour days, but I had two different jobs. I still have two jobs but I don’t work 80 hour weeks.”

“Why not?” The tone Minho held was almost unreadable, he answered and asked coolly as if he didn’t care but the questions and answers he was giving was telling a completely different story.

“So I can spend time with my kids.”

Minho froze at the response, he held the food hot out of the microwave in one hand and cold metal chopsticks in the other.

“My eomma loves us.”

“I never said he didn’t. I know he loves you all.” Minho put the food on the table, he shoved it in front of Cheol, it was now the alpha’s turn to look surprised.

“I made you food just like I did the other days except today your home early enough you can actually eat it with someone, don’t act surprised.” Minho sat done slyly.

“Thank you Minho-ah for the food, you are an excellent cook.”

Minho nodded proudly.

“Now, back to what you were saying. I don’t understand how you provide less for your kids now but say you love them.”

Cheol hated how that was put, because yes he did provide less money, but not that much less money. The management job along with his weekend dishwashing paid actually payed more than his work as a social worker, the only reason the family “had more money” in previous years was because his ex “worked.” Once everything was revealed in courts Cheol couldn’t believe how much was being made from the exploitation of his boys.

“There’s less money sure, but money isn’t everything.”

“Tt, money is a way of life. Money provided shelter, clothing and food, it can buy higher education and once in a lifetime experiences. I really don’t understand you.”

“You’re right, money can buy those things, but I wouldn’t take all the money in the world if it meant I wouldn’t be able to be with my sons.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Minho was defensive again. “What I meant was working more means you can provide more opportunities for your sons, don’t you want that? That’s why my eomma works so hard.”

“The reason my ex was able to do everything she did was because I wasn’t there, my boys only had her and she ruined their childhood. I’m doing my best to help them move on in a safe and loving environment by trying to be a more hands on parent, which means I can’t work 16 hours a day.”

“What did your wife even do? I don’t understand how you could’ve been completely clueless.” He changed the subject just like he had done a few days ago when he didn’t like the direction the conversation was going.

Cheol sighed before continuing, “My wife abused my kids. She would invite people over and they would- hurt them - my kids barely knew me, they hardly saw me, they thought if they told me I’d be mad at them because my ex brainwashed them into thinking they were terrible people that had no future except if they did what she said, I admit looking back I could see a few songs but my ex brushed them aside and made them not sound like issues. As much as it hurts to say it, at one point I really did love her.”

“Didn’t you say your oldest was 16 though? You could leave them alone - get a better job - more opportunities for them.”

“I could do that, but I want my kids to feel as if they have someone they can easily go to. If there’s a problem at home do you call your Eomma right away or do ignore it and deal with it yourself?”

That got Minho completely silent. He thought about it for almost too long before answering.

“I only call Eomma if it’s really serious.”

“Do you do that so you don’t disturb him?” Minho looked distressed almost as if he didn’t believe what was actually going on in front of him.

“Yes-“

Cheol wanted to hug him, that’s what he probably needed.

“Eomma had his dreams upped away from him the day he - he found he was expecting me - now that he has the chance to be himself and live his life why should we hold him back?” Minho had almost retreated into a shell, Cheol couldn’t believe the kid hadn’t just ran off. Minho probably couldn’t control what he was even saying anymore it was just all coming out.

“Minho - we are wrong we all dream about something. Some dream of having a family and others dream for something else. When your mother chose to keep you he chose to change his dream. He might have still wanted to compose music, which he still can, but as a single parent he should be spending more than a single day with you. He should be able to attend the games Changbin performs, attend the assemblies Seungmin earns awards, accompany Yongbok to swim class, talk to Jisung, seriously he needs someone to love him, he needs his mother to make it obvious to Jisung that he loves him, he needs to validate Hyunjin’s efforts in art, he needs to spend time with Jeongin. And you, you are not your brothers eommma. Your brothers are terrified of making you upset, yes you are in charge a lots and yes it’s ok for a little innocent intimidation, but your brothers close up around you.”

Minho’s eyes were almost glossy with she’d tears.

“I just want them to be taken care of.” It was heartbreaking.

It reminded Cheol of when Soonyoung had cried to the police, practically screaming to not take his brothers away, to please just let them be safe.

“Minho-ah, you’re doing the best job you can, but you’re still a kid to. Just like your brother’s deserve a happy life, you do too.”

The tears finally started falling.

It was an odd thing really.

Mihno cried with such vigor it shook his whole body.

It wasn’t very loud but his sniffles and sobs almost painful, it was almost like he had never cried before.

Slowly Changbin inched out of his room, keeping a nervous Yongbok inside.

“Hyung-“

Mihno turned his back as far as it would go away from his brother.

“What’s wrong with him?” Changbin shut if door gently and carefully walked over to his older brother.

Mihno tried to hide himself from his brother, making Changbin even more worried for his brother.

Cheol stood up, and walked over to Changbin.

“You should probably just go back to your room, I’ll talk to Mihno.”

“No-“ Changbin aggressively shook away from Cheol’s outstretched arm. “Hyung hasn’t cried in years - he hasn’t cried since- since-“

“Changbin you need to calm down.” The boy had started to hyperventilate. Changbin snapped out of it quickly, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry but Hyung-“

“Mihno will be fine, your brothers probably need you. Hyunjin’s probably worried too.”

“Jinnie?”

“Yeah - remember you left Hyunjin in your room.”

He was dazed. It was as if he had run a marathon and then suddenly fainted and now had no idea what was going on.

“Jiinie-“

“Yes Jinnie.” Chloe gently led the boy back to his room and then returned to the table, crouching in front of a hunched over Minho.

“Minho-ah, it’s going to be alright.”

“That’s - what - eomma would always say.’ There was a sob between every break. “It was never ok! He was never fine! Now he is fine and if that means that eomma works more than he sees us I don’t care! He deserves to be happy.”

“Mihno-ah,” Choel knew that he was about to tread on unfamiliar and almost unknown territory but it had to be done in this situation.

“You give your mother more joy than his work. All of you do.” Chloe reached a had out to rest on the boy’s back, surprisingly the boy didn’t flinch or shrink away. “We just remind him of all the bad.” 

“That’s not true-“

“He was raped! All of us our products of rape!”

How was Chloe supposed to help this poor teenager? And why did Minho even know this or believe this in the first place?

“Minho if that is the case that doesn’t mean your eomma doesn’t love you.”

Mihno just cried more, “I hate that I’m crying. I don’t deserve to feel bad about this-“

Those words had come out of Soonyoung’s mouth once, back when he was crying to his father and wondering why he couldn’t have just been ‘good’ and been tortured in his brothers’ places.

“You can cry, you have the right to feel emotions, you can feel whatever you want to feel.”

“I just want to forget everything.”

“That won’t work.”

“Why not?” Mihno looked at Cheol with large swollen eyes and red splotches on his face.

“We have to accept what happened in the past, and work through it, then we can move on.”

“I don’t want to move on I just want to forget, I want to forget the feeling-“

“What feeling?” Cheol was probably prying too much but he knew Minho needed to just get his feelings out there, and if this was the only way then so be it.

“He’d used to- people would watch-“ His words faded off and then started again, “He never technically raped us - he would never - you know in us - but he would - put other things inside - he’d video the whole thing - and then he’d make people pay for it. He put us all in dance lessons and then would make us learn sexual dances and -“

“If you aren’t comfortable you don’t have to continue-“ Why did people have to be so evil! It made Cheol want to go to prison himself to kill the bastard that hurt this poor family.

“Of course I’m not comfortable!” Minho stood up in anger, “I live everyday as a shell of a human being, I can’t go a day without thinking some man is looking at me. I can’t dance anymore because it reminds me of everything - I can’t focus in school - I just want to stay at home - make food - clean the house - take care of my brothers and once they are taken care of I want to die.” Minho seemed shocked at the words that has just come out of his mouth.

“I mean - I would never - I’ve never - I’m not like-“

“Don’t apologize, but Minho you need help.”

“I’m not like - like -“

“Like who?”

“I’ve never hurt myself, I’ve never tried to - to kill myself.”

Should Cheol even continue?

“Do you know anyone that has-“

“Jisung-ah.” So that was why the child always wore long sleeves, but at the same time that didn’t make sense. Jisung was 9, how had self harmed? Or even - Cheol didn’t want to think about the last part.

“Jisung.” Cheol clarified.

Mihno nodded. “It made - him so upset.” The him must have been the father.

“Yongbok was crying so much and eomma was trying to help Jisung but he - it was so much blood.”

“You don’t have to-“

“Isn’t this what you wanted!” Mihno was back to being hostile and yelling. “You wanted me to talk about it!”

“To a therapist.”

“Fuck that-“

These kids really did have some great words in their vocabulary.

“I’m talking now - and I just want to get it all out- I don’t care.”

“Ok.” So this was how it was going to be.

Cheol took his seat back at the table, it really was getting late and there were finals for Mihno.

“Mihno-ah I really am glad you are willing to talk about this but you have finals tomorrow-“

“Fuck that.” Mihno sighed dramatically.

“Fine - have it your way! I’ll get all my brothers to spill all their shit Mr. Therapist.”

“That’s not what I asked-“ Mihno stood up away from the table. “Just live like eomma for the correct time then you can try and fix us or whatever you want during your week - it’s not going to work - talking doesn’t fix things actions do.” Mihno stormed off before Cheol could reply.

The alpha put his head into his hands. The kid did have a point. Words didn’t fix the situations but sometimes your couldn’t find a solution without words, so talking about the problem was a necessary evil.

“I can’t believe I agreed to this.” Cheol mumbled as he ate a few more bites of the food Minho had prepared for him before retreating to the dark bedroom.

Cheol sat gently on the edge of the bed and pulled out the diary camera.

What was he even supposed to say?

“Chan-ssi, I admire you for overcoming many difficulties - and I admire your children for the same thing- but with all due respect - get yourself a therapist and get your boys a therapist - or at least a further consultation. Minho is struggling and I’m not sure if you noticed but he not just being an angsty teen. Please get help too. I’m glad you are moving past your ex but I think you need to talk to someone about it. I know moving on from exes is hard, I’ve been there, it’s not the same situation but seriously - my kids aren’t perfect they still struggle sometimes but they’d be much worse off if they hadn’t been able to go to a few therapy sessions. It won’t be a quick fix but it’ll be a start. Oh and seriously no more twelve hour days as the norm. Like maybe once a month but not everyday.”

Cheol frustratingly clicked off the camera and flopped on to the bed.

The situation really made Cheol angry.

But there wasn’t anything he would do.

He couldn’t get the kids a therapist by himself, he’d need Chan’s signature, so instead Cheol crafted a better full time job than whatever Chan was actually doing.

Cheol was no therapist, and he had no license but if Minho was going to talk to him, then he was going to be ready.

 

<>

 

If Minho was honest(and he was) he hated school, he rarely studied, but he did his homework and turned it in on time (mostly) and always studied just enough to get an average grade. He still hated school though.

People either loved him, loved to hate him or just “wanted to be him.”

The last part always made Minho laugh in their faces.

One time in the first year of Middle school a group of guys had made fun of him, he punched them all until one of the boys spoke up and said they were just jealous of his face, they wanted to be him.

That was because they didn’t know him.

No one knew Minho.

Only his siblings did.

His classmates all thought he was weird regardless if they found him attractive or not, he had once overheard a girl say, “Why do the pretty ones always have to be so odd?”

Odd.

Minho preferred that to perfect.

Perhaps of Minho had been born just a little off looking his father wouldn’t have done the things he had done to him.

Or maybe if he had been more perfect he would have overshadowed his siblings and shielded them from the torture.

The bell rang, the tests were passed in, everyone sighed.

“Don’t forget class there is still the history and English final tomorrow, and then next week begins the school cleanup and then graduation not for you all but for your upperclassmen, make sure to show them yourself support, that’s all have a good day.”

The teacher dismissed them, no one actually cared what she was talking about only that they could leave, or maybe that was just Minho.

As he walked down the hall he ignored any and all stares he might of received, it wasn’t too many just a few shielded whispers. Minho turned the corner and went down the stairs as quickly as possible, finding his locker and replacing his white school shoes for his old sneakers.

Once his shoes were on and his bag was slung over his shoulder he left to catch the first bus that left in only three minutes. He normally wasn’t lucky enough to catch the early bus and had to wait ten more minutes. On the bus he sat alone on the only available seat avoiding eye contact with everyone on the bus. The elementary school was an eight minute bus ride, and then Jeongin’s kindergarten was a five minute walk away from the school. Changbin was at another practice.

Even though all sports games had ended he apparently was apart of a special group thattwould do a demonstration at graduation in order to raise spirits of the graduates and attendees. Minho pulled out his history notes and began going over them. History, other than English was his weakest subject because there was no rhyme or reason to it was just a bunch of memorization and English made even less sense. The younger boys had enjoyed watching English kid’s shows on dads that Eomma had somehow managed to come by but Minho never had much interest. All his English came from the classroom which meant, “Hello, how are you today, I’m fine thank you and you.”

Minho didn’t bother even to think about studying for English, although it was a recquired class failing it didn’t mean you had to repeat the year or even take the class in summer school, your gpa would just be lowered, and you wouldn’t be put in the advanced class next year, which was perfectly resealable to Minho.

The bus lurched to a stop, Minho stuffed his notes back in his bag and left the bus a quickly as he could walking briskly to the front gate of the elementary school where his brothers were waiting. Hyunjin looked upset, Yongbok was trying to cheer him up, Jisung was just staring off into space and Seungmin was just standing still reading a children’s book, nerd.

“What happened Hyunjin-ah?” Minho wanted to get this drama over with as soon as possible, because honestly it could be anything when it had to do with Hyunjin. Someone could have decided it was a good idea to pick a fight with him, o the school could have served eggplant today, both situations would have invoked the same reaction from the eleven year old.

“Yuji was mean again.” Yuji was a girl in Hyunjin’s class that had decided to hate him from the first day of school and had done several cruel things to him. “Why don’t you just follow my instructions and shove tissues in her mouth?”

“Hyung that wouldn’t do anything.”

“It would shut her up Jinnie.”

“It’s not nice though.” Yongbok grasped Hyunjin’s hand tighter as he looked up at Minho.

“Can we go now?” Jisung asked, he looked nervous, almost anxious. Minho looked around to see if there was something that was obviously making Jisung uncomfortable.

“It’s ok hyung.” Seungmin had put his book in his small backpack and had reached for Jisung’s hand. Minho didn’t know how he felt about Seungmin often taking on a caring role in situations like this, even though it was largely unconscious and probably unintentional.

“Jinnie next year the two of you will probably be in different classes so there’s-“

“We’re both dummies though - she’s not smart enough to go into a higher level.”

“Hyunjin, just be patient about it.”

“You’re never patient.”

“Hyunjin.” The two had begun their brief quarrel just as Yongbok stood in the middle of the two of them. “Hyungs don’t fight. Can’t we all just like each other? We need to get Innie before the ajumma gets mad we’re late.”

“Fine let’s go everyone, Hyunjin don’t make me have to shove tissues in your mouth.”

“Hyung.” Yongbok whined as Hyunjin glared.

“Come on let’s go.” Seungmin walked hand in and hand with Jisung in front of the three of them shocking Minho slightly. The kid was really acting as if he was in charge sometimes, it really annoyed the teen sometimes.

Jisung walked slowly, he was dazed, probably in the early stages of a panic attack, or a bad anxiety attack. Minho contemplated going over and picking him up, but that could make the situation worse.

Yongbok held Hyunjin’s hand as Minho started walking away. He has very thankful that the school year was almost over and that soon they would all be safe at home for as long as they wanted.

They arrived at the kindergarten three minutes late which earned a scolding from one of the teachers who tried to threaten them with, “I’m going to call your mother.” To which Minho responded, “Go ahead, he won’t care.” Which made the teacher incredible flustered and had her walk away.

Jeongin didn’t say anything about his day, some people would say that was because he was traumatized but he really wasn’t. By the time his around his father was already I jail. He was just a quiet kid.

Once back on the bus Seungmin looked nervously from his backpack to Jisung, Minho noticed. Seungmin clearly wanted to read over any notes a 7 year old would have, but he was too worried about Jisung.

Minho knew they couldn’t do anything until they got home but as people began crowding the bus the teen knew they were about to have a situation on their hands.

Minho took off his blazer and handed it quickly to Jisung hoping his scent might help him calm down before the younger was overwhelmed with the scents and presence of other people.

Jisung’s hands lay limply in his lamp, Seungmin loooked at Minho nervously, Yongbok looked frightened as he saw his twin slip into that state were he was stuck in his mind and wouldn’t be able to get out.

Hyunjin grasped Yongbok’s hand tighter hoping to calm him, Seungmin tried to remain calm and held Minho’s blazer up to Jisung’s nose. Minho watched his younger brother carefully as the bus lurched to a start, looking at the uneven rise and fall of his chest.

Minho’s eyes never left his brother as the bus drove on, the rest of the passengers in the uneasy silence typical of all Korean busses.

The moment their stop came Minho stood up and walked over to Jisung, carefully picking him up, shocked by how heavy he was, probably because he was a growing boy and the last time he had carried him was almost a year ago.

“Hyunjin take Innie’s hand.” Hyunjin did as he was told, Yongbok and Seungmin held reacher others hands and the six left the bus.

The walked two blocks to their apartment building, Minho struggling to carry his brother who’s head lay lazily on his shoulder.

Once they crowded into the elevator Jisung made his first noise since they left the school. “Hyung.”

It was a struggled word for Jisung to say, it was always hard for him to talk when he got like this.

“You don’t need to say anything, It’s gonna be ok.” Minho tried to reassure his brother, but the elder knew the younger was tormenting himself in his head.

“I love you hyungie.” Yongbok spoke up, he never called Jisung Hyung unless the situation was serious. Jisung tensed when Yongbok spoke the word.

The elevator dinged as they arrived at their floor, The six worried to their door, Hyunjin typing in the door code and then opening the door for all of them. Minho carried Jisung directly inside once his shoes were off and carried him to the couch.

Minho sat down and put Jisung in his lap, “You don’t have to say anything Sungie-“

“Sorry-“

“Don’t apologize, you know what eomma would say. Don’t apologize if you’ve done nothing wrong.” Minho tried to ignore his other brothers that were all awkwardly standing between the kitchen and living room. IT was times like these when Minho relied on Changbin to give the younger kids a distraction, but he wasn’t here. He was off practicing tumbling or whatever he did at practice.

“Go study.” Minho shewed his brothers off, Jeongin looked startled, his eyes a little watery.

“Innie we can play together.” Yongbok took Jeongin’s hand and walked away with him to his room.

Seungmin looked nervously at Minho and Jisung, Hyunjin just looked like he was going to cry again. What shocked Minho is when Seungmin moved to go to eomma’s room and came back quickly with a bottle of perfume. He sprayed some in the air and then grabbed Hyunjin’s hand and took him to his room.

One sniff of the air and Minho noticed it was their momma’s perfume.

Jisung started crying, tears running done his face but no nose coming out.

“It’s ok to cry-“

“You never do.”

“Some people cry more than others, Hyunjin cries at least once a day.” Minho was trying to make jokes, something Jisung would do if the roles were reversed. Jisung however did not laugh, he just kept crying.

“I hate it!”

“What do you hate?”

“Why am I like this, why can’t I just be normal?”

“Normal’s no fun-“

“Weird isn’t either.”

Minho sighed, Jisung was in his head, he was just going to blurt out anything he was thinking meaning there was no reasoning with him., but stilll he had to try.

“I’m plenty happy being weird.” 

“No you’re not.”

For some reason that stung, even if Jisung wasn’t trying to be mean, it still hurt.

“Sure I am.”

“You hate life just as much as I do.” Jisung whispered almost as if what he was saying something forbidden. Minho hated that his brother was right.

“Hey, we don’t need to think about that right now.”

“But it’s the truth-“

“Jisung, we need to get through this.” 

“I don’t want to - I really don’t want to.”

Minho was in loss for words, what could he do.

It had been more than 3 years since Jisung’s attempt and although things hadn’t been perfect Jisung had been put into therapy and then taken out when he was “doing better.” Minho thought the real reason was that no one could wrap their heads around a six year old attempting suicide.

“Jisung - stay alive. Eomma will be back and he wants to see you again.”

Guilt tripping was never the right thing to do, but Minho did it all the time, not just with his siblings but with himself as well. He knew it wasn’t healthy but he couldn’t help it, it was something that was just innate.

“Eomma doesn’t want to be alive either-“

“Of course he does.”

“Then why does he have scars too?” Jisung self consciously grabbed his forearms. “He covers up just like I do-“

“He gets cold easily.”

“That’s what I say even though it’s a fucking lie.”

Minho held Jisung tighter, it couldn’t be true? Or was it?

Had he been so blind to completely glance over the fact that his eomma was struggling?

“Are you sure Eomma-“

“No.”

“Then why did you say what you said, you should take it back. You shouldn’t wash things like that about people.” Minho knew he was coming across as angry, but he couldn’t bear to think that his Eomma could be struggling like that too.

“I’m not sure.”

“Then don’t accuse-“

“I’m not accusing eomma. The only reason I’m not sure is because of - you know - him.”

“Do you think that he hurt eomma like that?” Minho hated talking about the bastard that was his father, but sometimes he had too.

“I don’t know- I think the scars on his back are from-“

“When did you ever see eomma’s back?” Minho was now entirely confused, Jisung looked tired and fed up.

“Four years ago - you were at school He was - forcing eomma and he - took his shirt off and there were scars everywhere.”

Why had this been the first time Minho was hearing about this.

He knew their father hurt their eomma, beat him senseless sometimes, took away his freedom, gave him a shoestring budget to buy groceries on that resulted in everyone being ill fed except him, he even knew that Eomma never enjoyed his heats and had even suppressed a few which angered father greatly, but Minho had never heard of his father literally raping his mother in front of his siblings.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It wouldn’t have done anything, it would have just made your life worse.”

“But eomma had scars-“

“Everywhere.”

“Who else saw?”

“Yongbok- he cried so much that father slapped him and then-“

“Jisung that’s enough, did you tell the police?” Maybe they could get a heavier sentence for their father.

“They barely listened to you why would they listen to me?”

Minho hugged his brother tightly, “They probably wouldn’t. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“How lives were hell Hyung, one new thing didn’t suddenly make it worse, telling you doesn’t make it better.”

“Your right but I’m surprised Yongbok never,“

“I told him not to, he’d just get in more trouble and then he’d feel bad about being hurt.”

“So you protected him?”

“Always.”

At least one thing remained constant, Yongbok would be protected at all costs as would Jeongin, there was no rhyme or reason as to why the brothers collectively decided that would be the way but everyone banded together to make their lives easier, Jisung would give Yongbok his food when there was none. No one talked about what had happened when Jeongin was in the room, no one mentioned their father when the youngest could overhear. As far as everyone was concerned Jeongin would be “normal” he would grow up with no trauma as long as they could help it.

Chapter Text

Seonghwa did his best to stay steady on his feet, but the tiredness was getting to him, Hongjoong was faring only slightly better but still looked ready to fall asleep any second. The couple had did their best to help the kids through the difficult Friday last week, and then through the week of finals but they feared that they couldn’t do enough.

Seungcheol’s weekend job was a dishwasher for a 24 hour ramyeon restaurant, the boss was a kind elderly gentleman that seemed to understand that the couple was struggling the second they came in.

“Most costumers don’t come this early, but if we close I will break a thirty year tradition.” Seonghwa jumped as the man spoke. “Oh.” The old man laughed.

“There aren’t many dishes son, how ‘bout I treat you two to some of my secret recipe instead?” Seonghwa looked at the old man and then at his husband who was elbow deep in a sink full of sudsy water.

“Don’t be shy you two, it’s just me and Seungcheol-ah until 10 most days, this is a regular occurrence.” The sentence seemed to ease the couple’s worries as the pair followed the man out of the kitchen and in to the deserted restaurant.

“So now please tell me about yourselves.” The man seemed genuine, unlike Cheol’s supervisor.

“We are married.” Hongjoong started.

The old man laughed, “I assumed that much, although now a days you never know-“

“We have six boys.”

The old man smiled, “I come from a large family, I never had children but I have a deep respect for those that do their best with so many children.”

“Six is so different from twelve.” Seongwha said.

“Ah yes, Seuncheol-ah’s boys can definitely be a handful, how are you two doing with them?”

“As well as we can.” Seonghwa didn’t know how to answer the man, he was just thankful he was more congenial than the supervisor. “They really are sweet boys, they really care about each other, but they definitely have their quirks.” That was one way to put it.

“Ah yes, I’ve met them all before, I treated them to my specialty. I met Seuncheol-ah almost seven years ago, he would come in for ramyeon at 2 am so that he could eat and then go to another job.”

Seven years would have meant that the two had known each other since before his wife was put in jail.

“It’s a terrible thing that happened to those boys, but I’m so proud of them.” The man spoke as if he was their grandfather.

Seonghwa could only nod.

“We just want to help the kids, but at the same time there’s very little that we can do.” Hongjoong said.

“The kids just need more people to care about them for who they are, not for what they’ve been through.” Hongjoong nodded.

“We are doing our best.” 

“I don’t doubt that.” The old man smiled again. “Now stay right here while I make my specialty.

 

<>

 

Jisoo carefully rolled off his bed. He looked back to notice Jeonghan still sleeping. The two didn’t normally sleep in the same crowded twin bed, but the last week had been a lot. Jisoo still didn’t want to remember it.

“Hyung you’re up.” Jisoo looked up to see Wonwoo looking down on him from the top bunk. The ceilings were too low for him to properly sit up properly. “How are you?”

Jisoo looked down, he didn’t feel like answering that question.

“Ok.” Wonwoo said understanding that Jisoo didn’t want to talk about it. “There’s breakfast.”

“Ok.” Jisoo responded, “Where’s Mingyu?” Jisoo asked suddenly thinking it was strange for Wonwoo to still be in bed while Mingyu was now where to be found.

“He’s washing the dishes.”

“But it’s my turn.”

“Hyung just let him do it - you know how he gets.” Of course Jisoo knew how Mingyu got. From outside perspective no one would think anything was wrong with Mingyu, maybe a bit gullible, but over all the 9 year old was a very sweet child, it was only when you examined how the child did chores that you realized that something wasn’t quite right. From the time Mingyu could walk his mother had decided that he was the perfect servant for whatever reason. Mostly because the child was too obedient, he would do anything anyone asked, he thought that’s how you showed you loved somebody, it was all manipulation though.

“We shouldn’t just let him do it though-“ Jisoo’s voice dragged off somewhere as the doo opened to reveal the subject of the conversation.

“Hyung! I’m glad you’re awake, Jun-hyung helped me make you a tray for breakfast.” Mingyu had a bright smile on his face as if he wouldn’t rather be doing anything else.

“Thanks Gyu.” Jisoo gave him a smile, even though he did not feel like smiling and sat down at the desk in the room as Mingyu set the tray in front of him, a glass of water, a few pieces of Buchimgae and a small cup of porridge. “It looks delicious.” Mingyu smiled brightly which made Jisoo almost feel worse.

“I’m a I’m a Queen card! I’m a I’m a Queen card!”

At that Jeonghan woke up and groaned loudly, Jisoo laughed. “Seungkwan what did we say about singing before everyone is up?” It was Jun’s voice, because of course the younger was already up, ready and helping keep the younger ones under control.

“Enjoy the food Hyung.” Mingyu said.

“What about me?” Jeonghan asked from the bed, Mingyu looked carefully at the older, “I can make you some to-“ the words ran together, in an almost inaudible way.

“Mingyu-ah, don’t worry about it, I’m joking.” Jeonghan seemed to realize his mistake.

“It’s not a problem Hyung-“

“Gyu how ‘bout we go play a game.” Wonwoo crawled carefully out of the top bunk. “Come on.” He pulled Mingyu out of the room closing the door on his way out leaving the twins alone. Jeonghan walked over to the desk and grabbed a piece of Buchimagae. “It’s pretty good.” He said chewing carefully. “What do you want to do today?” Jeonghan asked casually leaning on the chair Jisoo was sitting on.

Jisoo just shrugged, “I was probably just going to study English.”

“Aish come on, you have all summer to do that, school’s practically over.”

“We still have a week left.”

“Yeah and that week is just cleaning the school and getting our final grades and then there’s the festival Soonyoung is performing in.”

“He’ll do a good job.” The two talked casually with each other, finishing each other’s thoughts with ease, but there was still the uncomfortable tension that hung in the air from last week’s events.

“Are you going to tell Appa what happened?” Jeonghan finally asked.

“I don’t want to.”

“Ok.” Jeonghan didn’t push, but Jisoo knew he wanted an explanation even if his twin knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I was getting better, I don’t want him to think I’m getting worse.”

“You aren’t getting worse Jisoo-“

“I had a panic attack last week, I hadn’t had one in months, why - just why?”

Jeonghan seemed to think for a moment. “It’s not your fault-“

Jisoo just glared at him, “Yeah I know you don’t want me to tell you something you already know. Life just sucks but like we just have to get through it.” The twins stared at each other. Until they were interrupted by the door opening revealing Soonyoung. “Do either of you want to wake up Jihoon?”

“I don’t have a death wish, it’s a Saturday just let him sleep.” Jeonghan waved him off.

“Ok - uh you want to watch the 9 am music bank show?”

“Sure.” Jisoo stood up and walked away from Jeonghan, leaving his dishes on the desk and passing Soonyoung at the doorway.

Soonyoung waited for Jisoo to leave before entering the room and closing the door, “How is he?”

“I’m sure you can answer that question yourself. We can’t do anything.” Jeonghan dismissed his younger brother and exited his room to joing the rest of his brother’s (except Jihoon) in the living room, there was only floor space available. He found a spot next to an excited Chan immediately put himself in Jeonghan’s lap.

“P(1)harmony is actually really good this time.”

“P(1) is always good.”

“Don’t be biased we all know Nmixx is better.”

“You’re blind no way.”

“Guys they’re all good.”

“SHHH they’re starting.”

Jisoo smiled at his brother’s bickering, even if he didn’t fell like joining them. Watching music bank every Saturday was a tradition they had all started many years ago, Jisoo wasn’t sure when but they all enjoyed it.

 

<>

 

Once Hongjoong and Seonghwa returned the apartment was thrust back into a flurry of activity. The boys were passionately judging each other’s dance skills. “Seokmin you have to do one of the new songs you can’t just keep doing Pink Venom.”

“But Pink Venom is the best!”

“I think that means that I’m winning!”

“But my dance was better!” Seokmin raised his voice as Seungkwan proudly proclaimed his victory.

“You didn’t even dance you just sang the song.”

“So-“

“Just play rock paper scissors.” Jeonghan waved his hand.

“No but Seugkwan has a point, he was the only one that did a dance from the show.” Hanson said. Hongjoong and Seonghwa quietly joined the boys in the living room, familiar with the game since the boys had done the same thing last week.

“But the rules allow songs from the same few months and I did Supernova.” Mingyu cut in.

“Mingyu-ah you can’t compete with Minnie’s Pink Venom.”

Mingyu pouted a bit but seemed perfectly content to lean on Jisoo.

“Mr. Kim you pick!” Seungkwan suddenly said.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa looked at each other.

“You can’t do that Kwannie that’s against the rules.” Jun said.

“I don’t think there are rules about that.” Jeonghan said.

“How about you both do a different song.” Jihoon said, his hair a complete mess.

“OK.” Seungkwan seemed excited, Seokmin looked shocked.

“I’ve won with Pink Venom for months though.”

“That’s not true - I won four weeks ago.” Seungkwan said.

“And I won a few weeks ago too-“ Mingyu added.

“I win whenever I participate.” Sooyoung added way too happily.

“HYUNG!!!”

“What about a sing off?” Seungkwan suggested. The brothers all stared at each other.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa were quite confused.

“We can’t do a sing off Kwannie - we can’t go to karaoke.” Seokmin said sadly.

So that was it, they couldn’t afford it, that was just another thing that Hongjoong added to the list he wanted to do for the kids.

“Then we need a dance off.” Seungkwan continued.

Suddenly Seungkwan and Seokmin looked very serious.

“Are you sure you want to do this Kwannie?” Seokmin looked almost mysterious with how he asked the question.

“Yes Hyung- you’re going down.”

“I have never lost a dance off.”

“Stop lying that’s Hannie-hyung’s job!” One of the boys called.

“I have hardly ever won a dance off.” Seokmin decided to correct himself.

“Why don’t we just settle this the calculator way?” Minghoa suggested the boys all seemed to consider it and then decided against it. Hongjoong and Seonghwa didn’t even want to know.

“Ok if we are going to do this I will be judging.” Soonyoung said incredulously.

“But you judge too mean.” Seungkwan complained.

“Then the Kims will be guest judges - Jihoon move from the middle so we can sit there.” Jihoon rolled his eyes but did as he was told deciding to lie on top of his brothers seated on the couch.

“Your feet smell hung.”

“Deal with it.”

“Do you want a haircut?” Jeonghan asked as Jihoon’s head was resting in his lap.

“Maybe later.”

“Ok.”

Hongjoong and Seonghwa took their seats with Soonyoung in between them on the floor.

“What exactly are we doing?” Seonghwa asked.

“You tell them if they passed or not, they need 2/3 to pass a round. Chan go get the speaker.”

The five year old ran off and came back with an ancient speaker.

“Jeonghan-hyung can I-“ Jeonghan dropped his phone in Soonyoung’s lap.

“Thanks.” As Soonyoung worked to connect the phone Chan dropped himself on Seonghwa’s lap, hugging his neck, Seonghwa hugged him back, the kid was the same age as Wooyoung, it made Seonghwa hug him tighter.

“Ok so I play a song if you can’t do the dance within five seconds your out - sudden death - Hansol do you want to count down?”

“Sure-“

“Ok then we’re going to-“ 

“Wait, I’m sorry go back - what are we doing?” Seonghwa was just as confused as his mate but didn’t think to say anything.

“If they do the right dance they pass if they don’t then they loose.” Soonyoung rushed the explanation, “Ok Hansol start counting.”

“But what if we don’t know the dance?” Hongjoong asked. Soonyoung looked confused, as if this was never even a possibility.

“It’ll make it more interesting-“ Jeonghan saved Soonyoung from answering.

“Ok then - let’s just get started.”

“5 - 4 -3 - 2 - 1”

Soonyoung pressed play only for an add to play, Seokmin and Seungkwan looked at their brother in confusion.

“Add.” He said right as the actual song began to play.

“THIS TIME I WANT!” Seungkwan sang along with the song. Seokmin started confidently dancing along with Seungkwan’s singing and dance.

The song played for a few seconds while Soonyoung yelled Pass.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong said the same thing, although neither of them had any idea if the dance was even right.

Hansol counted down again.

Soonyoung played another song.

“BATTER BATTER BATTER UP!” Again Seungkwan recognized, began singing and dancing and Seokmin did the same. It was another song that the couple hadn’t heard but Honjoong decided to yell pass because it looked like it fit.

Soonyoung looked at him strangely.

“Get your leg higher Kwannie, I’m giving you a warning but pass.”

Seonghwa just said pass without a thought.

The next song the couple actually knew.

“LETS DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY.”

The couple was honestly shocked by how in sync the two were. The three yelled pass almost in unison, it made Soonyoung happy.

The next song though had both of the boys scrambling.

“Get it like boom boom boom-“

The boys went through some different moves.

“I don’t know what chorus this is.” Seokmin said as he struggled. Seungkwan had stopped dancing but was still singing.

“I win!”

“No actually that’s a fair point Minnie - I’ll give you a warning instead.”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. The next song played.

“TYPA GURL!”

The two were in complete unison.

“Hyung you can’t do black pink! That’s fair to Seungkwan.”

“I’m doing amazing Mingyu-hyung.” Seungkwan fought back, and he was right they passed that round. And the next round with Psycho by Red Velvet.

“I actually styled them for a music show.” Hongjoong observed.

“Are you sure you aren’t famous?” Seokmin asked.

“I’m sure.” The alpha laughed and the next song played.

“FAKE LOVE FAKE LOVE!”

“Make it harder hyung you w’ll be here all day.” Jihoon complained.

“Fine.”

“PICK ME UP!”

“How do even know this song? I don’t even know this song?” Jeonghan said,

“It’s produce 48.” Jisoo said they were the first words that he had said since the couple had gotten home. Seonghwa was glad he was speaking again.

“YOU GOT ME LOOKING FOR ATTENTION.”

“Hyung this isn’t hard, I could do this.”

Jeonghan pushed Jihoon’s head up, “Then go join them.”

“Ok whatever Jihoon go join.”

“No.”

“Hyung it’ll be fun, you’re still going down but it’ll be fun!” Seokmin was way too happy about it.

Jihoon grumbled but joined his brothers in front of the couch.

“Saegangyeongeul kkigo boji mayo Nan jom dareun yeojainde Geoteun hwaryeohaedo ajik duryeoun geol, you should know!”

Jihoon joined his younger brothers in complete sync, it was kind of creepy.

“I WANNABE ME ME ME!” Jihoon looked embarrassed but dance along anyway, the brothers laughed but it was more like they were laughing because they were happy not because they were making fun of them.

“DAZED DAZED DAZED!”

The dances just harder. Seonghwa was completely shocked at how well the boys were doing and how Soonyoung was watching as if he knew each dance perfectly and his brothers expected that he did.

“LET ME BE YOUR SUPERHERO!” Whatever song that was got Jihoon out.

“How don’t you know this song?”

“I’m sorry it’s too confusing.”

“But Lily’s notes are amazing!”

“The dance Kwannie is confusing because the music is confusing, Lily’s voice is really good.” Jihoon agreed with his brother and went back to lying on top of his other brothers on the coach.

“You’re feet smell even worse Hyung.”

“Get over it.”

“Baby Negae banhae beorin naegae wae irae Dureopdago mulleoseoji malgo Geunyang naegae matgyeobwala eoddae My lady.”

The song was older than Seungkwan and yet he was still doing just fine.

“I THINK I THINK I THINK I NEED A GIRL.” 

The songs seemed to shift from newer to older but Seokmin and Seungkwan didn’t stop.

“GANGNHAM STYLE.”

“FANTASTIC BABY”

“Urin deo isang nuneul majuhaji aneulkka Sotonghaji aneulkka saranghaji aneulkka Apeun hyeonsire dasi nunmuri heulleo Bakkul su itdago bakkumyeon doendago Malhaeyo, mama, mama.”

“Ok, ok, enough of whatever this is, you guys have been practicing or something, just do rock paper scissors.” Soonyoung waved his hands, his younger brothers did as they were told. Seokmin won, Seungkwan pouted but then went off to play with Hansol and everything was well again.

“Ok we should make lunch.” Seonghwa said getting up and walking over to the kitchen, “The laundry needs to be taken down and folded to.”

“Ok,” the boy stood up with Mingyu, together the two got the laundry inside. Soonyoung moved to get the trash out, Jihoon got the recycling.

With everyone working together the chores were done quickly, lunch was a mixture of breakfast food and leftovers, there was hardly anything but the fourteen enjoyed it as much as they could.

Afterwards they went to a park mainly to take their minds off of the hunger that was gripping their stomachs. The younger boys played on the play ground, Wonwoo read a book on a bench, and the other older boys talked underneath a tree, the couple contemplated joining them but were content to sit on another park bench watching some of the younger boys. Seonghwa’s eyelids became heavy, and before he knew it he had dozed off on Hongjoong’s shoulders which of course left him along with his thoughts, never a safe place to be.

He really didn’t know how he was going to make it another week like this, he was so hungry even if he had eaten food it almost felt as if it would have been better to not eat anything but there would be no new groceries till Monday, honeslty what were they even going to eat tomorrow.

Hongjoong’s thoughts were interrupted by the loud noises from the playground he quickly made sure no one was injured, thankfully everyone was fine the boys were just loud, so loud, and it wasn’t their fault they were just kids trying to live their best lives and yet they had been put through so much, why did it have to be them?

They were good boys, they cared deeply for each other, they made fun of each other sure but it was in a loving way. They had made up games that had gotten them through such an awful past and yet some were still going through struggles. Hongjoong looked at the older boys. Jeonghan and Jun were talking, Jisoo was leaning against Soonyoung, Jihoon was there too he was saying very little, perhaps he was taking Hongjoong’s advice and listening instead of demanding answers.

Suddenly Chan ran up to him and stared at him, “Do you need something?”

“I’m tired, but hyungs don’t want to leave.”

“You can sit with me, if you want you can even take a nap.”

“Like your mate is doing?”

Hongjoong laughed a little, “Yes exactly.”

“Ok.” Chan crawled up on Hongjoon’s lap, the alpha put his arms around the boy to keep him from sliding off his legs.

“I wish my eomma was like your mate.” Kids said the darnedest things truly…

How could Hongjoong even respond to that?

What did Chan even know about his mother?

“He didn’t have any of your sons in jail right?”

What kind of sentence was that?

“Uh - no-“

“I was born in jail, I tried to tell my friends but they thought it was weird, I thought it was kind of cool but I guess it’s not normal.”

Where was he even going with this?

“You know, being normal is no fun.”

“That’s what Jun-hyung says. I don’t think we’re weird though - well Jun-hyung is a bit weird and Soonyoung-hyung but I don’t know, I don’t think I’m weird.”

“I don’t think you’re weird Chan-ah.”

“Thanks Mr. Kim.” Chan leaned on Hongjoong’s chest, “You smell nice, not as good as Appa or your mate but you smell nice.” Hongjoong smiled, “Thank you Chan-ah.”

“Come play with us Chan-ah!” Seungkwan yelled from the other side of the playground.

“I don’t wanna!” Chan yelled back.

“Don’t be such a party pooper!”

Chan sighed, “Chan-ah doesn’t have to play if he doesn’t want to.” Hongjoong said to Seungkwan who was running to the bench.

“Ah fine.” He said exasperated, Hongjoong had no idea how the kid still had more energy but he did, the eight year old ran off only to be replaced with Minghao.

“I want to play with Jun-hyung.”

“Then go ask him.”

“They are having a meeting though, I’m not allowed.”

Hongjoong sighed, he had no idea what that even meant and Seonghwa couldn’t deal with it as he was still asleep, but Hongjoong also couldn’t deal with it because he was occupied with Chan and Seonghwa.

“How ‘bought you go ask Wonwoo, he’s over there.” The alpha gestured to the bench occupied by the thirteen-year old. “Ok.” Minghao replied running off to go talk to his brother.

Hongjoong sat on the bench as still as possible wondering if he too could get some rest before Minghao came running back with Jun.

“What’s wrong?” He wanted to stand up but he couldn’t, Chan was still on his lap and Seonghwa on his shoulder.

“Jisoo-hyung- well he - not calm - scared- oh I don’t know the word.” Jun was frustrated at himself, Mingha nervously standing near his brother and Hongjoong was just desperate.

This entire idea had been truly terrible.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help them but their Appa should be there or better yet their eomma should have never tortured them and scared them for life.

“Is he having a panic attack?”

Jun nodded, “Ok, is someone trying to help him right now?”

“Yes, Jeonghan-hyung and Soonyoung.”

“Ok, can you help get all your brothers ready to leave?”

“I can try.”

“I know you can do it.” Jun left, Hongjoong nudged Seonghwa awake and stood up carrying Chan.

“Jisoo is having a panic attack we need to go.” Seonghwa, although still tired understood and got up, and started to help collect the kids.

In less than five minutes the omega had Seungkwan and Hansol in hand, Hongjoong was holding Chan and holding Mingyu’s hand.

“Is Jisoo-hyung gonna be ok?” Hansol asked, “Yes don’t worry about your Hyung he’s going to be just fine.” Seonghwa tried to reassure the boy knowing that sometimes the only way to deal with a panic attack was to just let it happen.

Soonyoung and Jeonghan were with him, the rest of the kids were waiting near Hongjoong and Seonghwa. Seungkwan who had a few minutes ago been loud and happy looked like he was fighting back tears.

“I hate when this happens.” Seonghwa knelt in front of Seungkwana and Hansol.

“Hyung was fine before last week.” A meltdown was coming, that much was obvious to Seonghwa.

“Seungkwan-ah just breath for me ok.”

“Kwannie be ok please.” Hansol said quietly, after he said that something seemed to break in Seungkwan he stood up straight, wiped any tears away in a second and made his face draw into a thin line.

Seonghwa was shocked.

This wasn’t Seungkwan.

Hansol gently took his brother’s arm, “Don’t be like that Hyung.” Hansol hugged his brother’s arm.

“Sollie- I -“ Seonghwa decided enough was enough and hugged the two boys at once. He noticed his shirt get slightly wet, Seungkwan was probably crying again.

“It’s going to be ok. Jisoo is going to be fine, you all are, you just need to get through today ok. One day at a time.”

Maybe if Seonghwa convinced the kids of that he could also convince himself.

 

<>

 

Soonyoung had always been the type to hate feeling helpless, after all he could always fight. That’s what a tiger would do, fight till the end, always make it out alive, be victorious in battle.

But this was a battle that not even a tiger could win.

Jisoo, relatively speaking, had been fine until last Friday, his previous panic attack had taken place a little while after Wonwoo had had his.

Months ago.

But he had had two in a little over a week.

It hadn’t been that bad in a while.

It wasn’t every day…

But what if it got to that point?

Then there really was nothing Soonyoung could do.

The Chois had gone back home.

Jisoo was sleeping, everyone else was in the living room, Mr. Kim (the older one - or maybe he was younger - Soonyoung honestly wasn’t sure who was older)

The alpha - no Soonyoung hated referring to people like that.

What was his job?

Designer?

The Designer stood in front of them all, his husband sat in front of the sliding doors to the balcony. Jeonghan, Wonwoo, Mingyu and Jihoon sat on the coach, Seokmin was sitting on one of the arms of the couch. And the rest of them, Seungkwan, Minghao, Jun and Hansol sat on the floor. Chan was in the other Mr. Kim’s lap.

The little boy seemed to like him a lot.

“Look, this is nothing against you but I think it would be wise to end the show.” Designer Kim spoke - there as silence for the first time in the Choi household.

“You guys need your Appa and -“

“No.” Jeonghan-hyung spoke with so much authority Soonyoung had to look back and make sure it was his Hyung that had spoke those words.

“You boys have really been great - but I do think your Appa needs to -“

“We don’t quit things half way.” Soonyoung spoke.

“We are going to finish the show.” Jeonghan reaffirmed.

“You aren’t quitting, Jisoo-hyung needs his Appa you all-“

“We dealt with worse without him.” Simultaneously the boy’s heads turned to stare at Jihoon who had uttered those words.

“It’s not like that Hyung.” Seokmin said worried.

“And I didn’t mean it like that. It’s ok. Appa did his best and we will do our best.”

“Jihoon just because you guys went through awful things without your Appa doesn’t mean you have to do it again.” Mr. Kim from the corner spoke, Chan clinging to him.

“I know - but - we just need to do the show.” Jihoon wasn’t saying what everyone else was thinking.

It was the money.

It was 100% the money.

The pay was enough to feed everybody for three months, the money that would normally oh for food could be saved and then used for necessities later on.

“Jisoo will be ok. We only have one week of school left anyway. I’ll watch him.” Jeonghan sounded so sure of himself even though he was aware that he wasn’t the best at protecting himself or others he’d rather have them run.

“I’ll look after him too.” Soonyoung spoke with conviction or at least that was how he was trying to make it sound.

“Ok then, but it really is ok if you don’t want to do the show, I can call the director at -“

“Yes we want to finish the show , Mr. Kim.” Jihoon just restated what everyone was thinking.

“Ok.”

 

A few hours later…

 

Soonyoung snuck into the room as silently as possible.

Mingyu and Wonwoo were cuddling on the top bunk, Jeonghan was sleeping in his bottom bunk and Jisoo was by himself he was tossing and turning, Soonyoung couldn’t tell if that meant he was awake and trying to fall asleep or asleep and trying to awake.

“Jisoo-hyung.” Soonyoung whispered, he watched as his hyung stilled and sat up a little.

“Soonyoung?”

“Yeah it’s me, do you mind if I sleep here tonight?”

“Like in Mingyu’s bed or with me?”

“I didn’t want you to be lonely.” Jisoo laughed and pulled open his covers, Soonyoung took the invite.

Sleeping in their own beds was a relatively new concept for most of them.

When their mother was still in their lives the boys had all shared one bedroom and the living room. They had piled blankets and pillows on the floor, their mother had made them clean it up until she decided that it made her boys appear more omegan which was desirable for whatever reason.

Appa had gotten them all beds.

Well the oldest 8.

Minghao didn’t normally sleep in his and split his time between Jun and the makeshift bed in the living room, but everyone else occasionally shared.

Soonyoung tried to cuddle all of his brothers at least once a month more often than not, it helped him feel close to them, it helped make him make sure they were safe. They couldn’t get hurt if he was there, because he could protect them against any vile person that might want to hurt them.

“Goodnight Hyung.”

“ ‘night.”

Soonyoung hugged his brother tighter, he wasn’t going to let go.

He wasn’t going to get hurt again.

 

<>

 

The Kim’s sat in a towel in the bathroom, it was the only place they could lm their daily logs.

“Seungcheol, I really respect everything you’ve done, there’s no way I could ask you to be there for your kids more, but maybe they should be homeschooled or-“

“That wouldn’t work, the boys need people not just each other.”

The couple looked at each other, clearly they had different opinions.

“It’s just that your boys love making others happy,”

“Yes but sometimes it’s at the expense of themselves. They try and make others happy when they aren’t to try and make themselves happy.” Hongjoong and Seonghwa didn’t know where this video call was going.

“I think Jisoo-ah needs to see someone, if that’s possible and if he could go to a different school next year that might help.” Right just change the subject.

“But if that’s not possible then maybe some self defense classes, I saw flyers for free defense classes at the community center.” Was that really the best solution, make Jisoo capable of defending himself against future predators and not the current predators punished. Hongjoong didn’t even know what he was saying at this point.

“I’m sorry if this hurts your pride Seungcheol but I looked into food banks, only to find out that you make too much money to qualify for help but they just take income at the number and not how many people that income was supposed to support.” Seonghwa looked down dejectedly. “We are doing our best - we promise. The kids really are wonderful. They did some kind of dance game today they tried to get us to be judges but we really had no idea what we were doing.” Seonghwa laughed at the memory.

The personal logs were a very secretive thing, and although the reactions were filmed no audio was so the future audience had no idea what was said.

“I wish we could do more.” Hongjoong added. The conversation really wasn’t going anywhere but they could predict, it was better they end it early.

“There’s something special about your kids though. They make you smile, make you laugh and make you want to love them. No parent can be perfect Seungcheol but I know that you have done your best.” Seonghwa smiled at the camera long enough for Hongjoong to get slightly jealous.

“Well this has been log number - what number is it Seonghwa?” 

“I have no idea.”

“Log number I have no idea.”

Chapter Text

Chan groaned as the alarm sounded, today was the first official day living as Seonghwa.

He was supposed to make the switch on Thursday but the directors had suggested he wait for Monday. The switch had been made because the directors wouldn’t be able to film the rule change till that Friday night, and then the next Friday morning Chan would be leaving for the next house.

Chan was thankful for the extra weekend (even more thankful he didn’t have to attempt to make kimchi by himself), it wasn’t that Chan was scared of hard work, or hated work, he normally enjoyed working, it was more so the actual work itself.

It was cleaning and cooking, all things that should be typical of an omega.

All things Chan has been told he was awful at.

For Seonghwa it was all in details and process, having a certain way of doing things and making sure things always got done that certain way. Chan had always just done his best. The omega had contemplated reading Seonghhwa’s book but just the title, “A Clean Home for a Family,” brought back terrible memories.

Not that he believed that his and Seonghwa’s situations were similar.

Seonghwa had freedom to choose the life he wanted, and he simply chose to live as a more typical omega, Chan didn’t resent that choice, he only resented that he would never be able to be comfortable with making that choice.

But those were thoughts for a different day, he had a plenty busy day that needed to start.

The first few tasks were simply, take a shower, brush teeth, wash face, choosing an outfit was lightly more complicated. Seonghwa hadn’t put clothing pieces together like Hongjoong had.

He had so many options yet they seemed to be split into three categories.

Maternity, Casual and borderline cunty - if Chan was even using that word correctly.

Seonghwa’s style was fresh but also borderline feminine. He had a heavy beaded black dress in the closet and many colors that some would deem too feminine for a man.

Chan knew very little about colors but he assumed a blue and white shirt went with a comfortable pair of jeans.

Well the jeans were a little long and a little tight on the butt but Chan was too scared to wear white pants so he stuck with the jeans.

Seonghwa did wear makeup everyday, Chan decided to skip that step because as previously mentioned he had no idea how to put makeup on.
“Ok, you can do this Chan.” He tried to pump himself up before exiting the bedroom before immediately running back in to make the bed.

“Come on Christopher.” Maybe English would work better, except that would never work because the words felt foreign coming from his mouth. Years of being forbidden and punished if he even dared think in his native tongue had made the words seem strange to him.

After making the bed he realized he was already two minutes behind. The omega quickly watered the plants outside and prepared the rice to put in the rice cooker. He got the rice put in just in time for his phone alarm to ring alerting him he needed to go wake up the boys.

He started with Yuhno and Mingi, the older already getting out of bed when Chan opened the door, “Good morning Mr. Bang.”

“Morning Yunho. Chan walked deeper in the room. Mingi-ah you need to get up.”
From a bundle of blankets a groan and whine was heard.

“Mingi-ah.”
“I don’t wanna.” The blankets spoke.
“Mingi wake up.” Yuhno playfully pulled the blankets off his younger brother. Mingi squirmed in on himself at the sudden rush of cold air. “HYUNG!”

“It’s the last week of school.”

“I don’t wanna-“
Chan decided to leave them be, his next problem, sorry task was waking up San and Wooyoung which was surprisingly easy.

Wooyoung just jumped on San until San woke up and proceeded to play fight his younger brother to ground, Chan found it cute, he wasn’t sure if Seonghwa would approve but his boys had definitely done the same at San and Wooyoung’s age, not that Chan’s kids were that much older than Wooyoung and San and it was only half of them and- Why was Chan even rambling about being insecure about having older kids.

Did it make him old?
According to Seungmin he was old.
And he was older than the Kims.

So he was old….?

Yeosang and Jongho were easy to wake up but Jongho threw a bit of a fit getting dressed.
The three year old was majorly judging Chan’s choice of outfit for him. But what could Chan do, he wasn’t a fashion designer or an ex model or even a model parent. That was a bad pun Christopher… What was with the sudden English thoughts?

Chan went downstairs to switch the laundry and finish making breakfast. He had to whip some soybean sprout soup in about twenty minutes somehow. This is why it was best to just freeze a bunch of rice and porridge and then defrost some for breakfast everyday.
And yes Chan was aware that that meal would have been straight carbs but it was cheap….

Rabbit trail… Chan sighed to himself and watched the soup boil, hopefully he had followed the recipe correctly. The boys started coming down and entering the dining room all with their backpacks and uniforms on with the exception of Wooyoung and Jongho.

“I can’t wait to wear a uniform next year. I can’t wait to be a big kid!” Of course Wooyoung had more energy in the morning than Chan had ever had in his life, it was just like how Changbin had been.
Chan pulled the kimchi out of the fridge. He hoped that it tasted good although Bumjoong had repeatedly told him that he had never homemade kimchi before. He dumped some onto a dish as Yunho was coming in with Yeosang on his heels to help grab dishes and set the table.
The table was quickly set and the soup completed.
Chan finished off the table with the soup bowl next to the rice and the kimchi.

“Thank you for the food.”

“I hope you enjoy.” Chan took a small bite and watched as the boys followed.
They ate quickly, occasionally stopping to say, “It’s really good Eomma-Chan.”

“I already miss Samchen.”

“Stop talking with food in your mouth.”

“BLAHAAHA.”

The last one was Wooyoung … talking with food in his mouth.

The older boys left for school and Chan got busy washing dishes. He tried to be extra careful actually looking for little specks of food encrusted in odd places, much to Chan’s chagrin he normally didn’t look at dishes when he washed them, so of course he normally missed spots. Chan knew Seonghwa wouldn’t appreciate that approach, so he took his time and got all the dishes set on the drying rack just in time to leave with Jongho and Wooyoung.

With shopping bags in one hand and the car keys in the other he got the younger boys in the car and on their way.

Wooyoung was still talking. “Yeonjun wants to go to the same school but apparently his eomma is getting married. I didn’t know you could get married after having a baby but I guess you can. Yeonjun says he like his new Appa but that he’s kind of old-“

Chan was getting all the gossip about whoever Yeonjun was.
“And Junnie still thinks that his baby brother is cuter and Jongho but he doesn’t see how cute Jongho is.”
“I’m not cute Hyung.”
“Yes you are.”
“Eomma says I’m handsome.”
“Eomma calls us all handsome.”
“No - just me.”

Chan shook his head, he would never understand how he managed to raise his kids, although maybe it hadn’t been successful, could one even be successful in raising kids? Did the kids bear any burden about heeding or not heeding parents advice or was it all on the parent?

“Eomma-Chan you need to turn.”
Right … Chan stay in the present.
“You’re right Wooyoung-ah.”
Thankfully he hadn’t completely missed the turn.

Once the boys were safely dropped off Chan went shopping by himself, something he hadn’t done in probably 14 years. He had always taken the boys with him, it was one of the few times he had been allowed out. He used to enjoy grocery shopping even if the budget had been ridiculous and his boys had not always behaved themselves; they all treated the trips as something exciting and fun. They could look at food they’d never be able to eat and look at all the other families and single people look at them strangely because no one in their right mind had seven kids.

It was rare that an entire pack would have seven kids.
Chan had once thought he’d like to be a part of a pack.
That had never worked out though.

The shopping went smoothly, the drive home went smoothly, and even putting the groceries away went smoothly but once Chan went to go check on the boys’ bed making abilities everything started to go downhill.

What exactly qualified as made correctly.

And why couldn’t the boys just make it however they wanted?

Chan knew he probably should have instilled bed making as a discipline in his own children but it had just seemed so insignificant but it did add to rooms looking clean. The entire house was that way though, so clean that it almost didn’t seem like a house.

By the time Chan got to the laundry and the audiobook he realized just how different Seonghwa and him were, because of course he chose “A clean home for a family.”

He only got through listening to the introduction before he turned it off.

‘A clean home seems so irrelevant to someone’s life sometimes, and yet it is very desirable. Most find the thought of a clean home so impossible that they don’t even try and keep their home tidy, but keeping the home clean is not only very doable but I believe it is vital in keeping one’s spirit calm and easier to raise a family in a clean environment. Of course the house cannot be clean all the time and messes will happen, the house will not always be spotless and there will always be imperfections but those facts should never stop one from striving their best to keep their living areas clean. So why a clean home for a family? It is not my intention to write about cleaning only for those that have children, it just so happens that I have children so that of course affects my mindset but that is by no means a need in order to have a home. But back to the original point, why a clean home? It has been proving that our environment affects us both mentally and physically, when our area is crowded it is easier for our minds to become crowded, for our thoughts to be all over the place and for us not to be able to keep our thoughts straight just like we can’t remember where we put our one pair of good jeans. So the solution seems simple, just clean - well oftentimes just cleaning the house is not enough. We must look within ourselves as well. Are our minds free of clutter or waste?’

Chan turned on music instead.

He didn’t want Seonghwa’s narration to tell him any more ways in which he was failing as a human and a mother.

Chan put the laundry away (He thought doing laundry every day was a bit extreme but maybe that would make his washer last longer and not break after trying to shove two weeks worth of clothes from eight different people in at once… not that Chan had ever done that…)

After laundry was the bathrooms which were again way too clean. There was a bit of toothpaste left in the sink and just a bit of soap scum but other than that the bathroom was pretty clean. Chan ended up cleaning the mirror four times after he kept leaving streaks.. it would have been better if he hadn’t even attempted to clean in.

Jinwook had never demanded a clean home, just no toys all over the place, it couldn’t be messy but didn’t have to clean.

Chan moved on to make lunch and dinner prep as well as make a snack for the boys after school. After eating lunch by himself and cleaning those dishes he dusted the entire house and then vacuumed, he did not have time to mop before he had to go pick up Wooyoung and Jongho.

Chan didn’t care that much.
There wasn’t anything to mop.
There was barely anything to vacuum.

Wooyoung was loud as usual and Jongho was pretty silent as normal except for the occasional humming or correcting his brother.

“Apparently Yeonjun gets two new siblings because his eomma is joining a pack, that’s so cool I wish I had more siblings.”

Chan didn’t say anything, he just let Wooyoung continue ranting.

“Oh do you have any brothers or sisters? Eomma-Chan?”
“Yes Wooyoung.”

“Do you have brothers or sisters?” Oh the question was for him - duh - who else would it be for? Jongho.

“Uh yes I have a sister and a brother.”
When was the last time he talked to either of them?
Last he heard Hannah was a successful musician and Lucas what was he doing? Getting his masters?
“OOO what are their names?”

“Hannah and Lucas.”

“Those are cool names, Hana and Roocus.” Chan didn’t think it was necessary to attempt to correct the pronunciation; he just let Wooyoung rant all the way to the park.

Chan pushed Jongho on the swing for a bit and then took the boys to get ice cream if they promised not to tell their hyungs if they did then Chan said he’d never buy them ice cream again, which wasn’t much of a threat considering he was likely never going to see them again, but the two boys seemed to take it very seriously going so far as to pinky promise.

After the ice cream was eaten and their faces were cleaned they picked up the older boys. Yeosang was even less talkative than normal but still thankful for the snacks Chan made. He dropped them off at dance practice and then drove the others home.

There was no homework so Chan let Mingi go play with his younger brothers. Chan finished up dinner and switched the laundry over.

He was just tidying up when the door opened and Yuhno, Yeosang and San came back. Yeosang still looked a little off but the other two were their normal chipper selves.

San helped Chan set the table and the seven had dinner.
It seemed repetitive to Chan.
He couldn’t imagine doing this everyday.
But at the same time it was nice to just be able to watch the kids laughing and joking with one another, having a good time discussing their day or the newest episode of a show they had been watching or the new dance they learned or how Wooyoung was excited to start dance lessons soon.

Everyone was having a good time, even Chan, it was nice to just be solely invested in the whims and charms of the children, everyone except for Yeosang.

The nine year old was normally pretty quiet but he joked around with his brothers often and made funny faces at Jongho which made him laugh.

Chan had seen him doing animal impressions with his youngest brother and had seen him practice a few dances with Yuhno.
But tonight it was nothing.
Just a curt not to thank Chan for the food and occasional hum to agree or disagree with something.
Chan knew something was wrong.

But did he have the authority to even say anything?
Probably not.
So he ignored it.

Ok that sounded bad.
He… he hoped the situation would resolve itself without the need for him to intervene…
Yeah Chan was just a shitty person.

He cleaned up the dishes and the table. Yunho helped with the dishes; there was a brief conversation.
“Did you have a good day today?” Seriously, what kind of 11 year old asked that? Hyunjin would never just ask an adult that.

“It was good Yuhno-ah, how about yours.”

“It was kind of boring, we just cleaned but then we played on the playground so that was fun.” It was a complete thought, it had a beginning and an end. It wasn’t a jumbled together run on paragraphs that sometimes had no rhyme or reason like how Wooyoung talked.

“Mr. Bang if you want me to finish the dishes, I can do that if you want to sit down, you seem tired.”

This kid didn’t exist.

There was no way.

Literally no way.

“Thanks Yuhno but I’m good.”

“Whatever you say.”

Chan thought Bumjoong’s appraising eyes were bad, but Yuhno’s were worse… It must be a family thing.

Chan left to give Jongho and Wooyoung a bath.
Wooyoung splashed water absolutely everywhere.
It was honestly insane.

Just like Seonghwa’s notes said, Jongho gave no trouble going to bed as long as IU was playing on the CD player. Wooyoung did demand a song, and then another one.

“You have a pretty voice, Eomma-Chan, you should sing more.”

‘Stop singing so high Chan, it’s not in your vocal range, and you need to work on your rap. You'll never debut if you're like this.’

“Uh thank you Wooyoung.” The kid was snuggled in his bed, holding a stuffed cat tightly, “Can you sing me another one?”

“I’ve already sung four.”

“Last one last one, I promise. Pretty please.” Wooyoung gave his best puppy eyes.

Chan honestly wasn’t convinced.
But he sang another song.
Wooyoung fell asleep.

Chan went to check on Mingi and San. Mingi had just gotten out of the shower and San had been out for about ten minutes. He was energetically jumping up and down to get his hair to dry faster or something.
Yuhno went to his room with Mingi. San went to his room quietly in order not to wake a sleeping San, and Yeosang - well Chan had to look everywhere only to find Yeosang already in bed.

Well that was easy.

Too easy.

But the kid was already sleeping so there was no sense to wake him. So instead Chan went back to the room, he washed his face, changed into pajamas, silk because this was Seonghwa and of course he wore silk pajamas, and then stared at the desk in the corner of the room.

He was supposed to write now.

He supposed he could write lyrics but he had been having intense artist block and had been relying on unfinished demos for about three months.

So he ignored that part of the schedule and filmed his daily log instead.

“Honestly Seonghwa, how are you so perfect?” Chan laughed nervously. “That’s such an awkward thing to say but seriously. Did you go to a finishing school or something? I really don’t mean that in an offensive way, I’m sorry if it sounds like that… but honestly it’s a compliment because you’re so good at home making and stuff…. I don’t know where I’m going with this.” Chan sighed and rubbed his arm like he always did when nervous.

“Your kids are really sweet. I don’t really have anything else to say. Although maybe you don’t need to clean everything everyday. That would give you more time for writing and your house would still be clean. Well that’s it. This has been daily log number - 12 - I think.” He turned the camera off and placed it on the desk.

A copy of Seonghwa’s book sat proudly on top of the desk. Chan took a second to look at it (maybe more than a second). It wasn't an overly large book; it was probably just under 300 pages. The cover was a picture of Seonghwa in a crisp white collared shirt with an apron on over that - blue rubber gloves on and a handle of a broom in his hand with a large smile on his face. The back was a slightly outdated picture of the family.

Against his better judgment Chan opened up the book and picked up at chapter one skipping the rest of the introduction.

‘Before we can have a clean home we must first discuss the meaning of the word home. A more logical person might call a home any place you seek protection from the elements and rest your head, a more philosophical approach would be to believe a home is where your heart lies. If we use the more logical definition a home suddenly becomes a school desk for a tired student or a hotel room for a traveler or even a prison cell for a criminal. If we use the philosophical definition then a home could be a place or an entire country or even a person. Neither of the definitions are perfect, that is why I believe the best definition is a combination. A home to me is yes a place where you seek shelter and rest your head but also a place where thoughts of joy occur - a place where one can relive happy memories and dream of new goals or hopes - it is a place where your heart lies to make it better for you and your family.’

Why were the pages wet?

‘My home is quite loud, my husband and I have six boys all under the age of 10, as one could imagine it can be a hectic experience trying to contain them all, and an even more tiresome and impossible mission to keep the house clean - I used to think it was hopeless. I would clean endlessly but I was never satisfied. It would always get messy again. There would always be another accident. This isn’t just in your home though. It can happen in life as well. I learned that my home was not a safe place to me, it was crowded and cluttered - it didn’t allow room to breathe or space for new thoughts to take route. And my life was the same as my home. I was suffocated in my career, and although I don’t recommend deciding to just quit your job because don’t enjoy it - sometimes it’s necessary to do things you don’t prefer - what I am saying though is when possible it’s best to avoid or rid yourself of situations and things that cause stress or anxiety to yourself and your family. When you, a parent, is stressed it can make your kids stressed as well even if it’s subconsciously and especially when they are young.’

Was Chan crying?

No?

Not at all.

‘Parents need to be able to support their children’s dreams - but we cannot do that if we are completely focused on our own drama. I realized that my work was taking too much time from my kids - it was giving me a lot of stress that wasn’t necessary. I have the privilege to have a husband whose work is able to support our family but I understand many don’t have that. Which is why I will offer a few solutions. 1) Sometimes the only answer is to quit your job but this often should be a last resort. 2) If there is a surplus of stress, where is it coming from? Are you putting it all on yourself for no reason? If so there’s a deeper issue here and you might want to consider talking to someone about it. 3) There is strife at work but there didn’t used to be - you used to like your job but now you can’t stand it. Well can the problem be fixed? Are you trying to solve the problem? Or don’t need to consider option 1.’

Chan was definitely crying.

Why was he still reading?

‘Now that we have found the problem and started to deal with it we must move on. How can we organize our lives? It is first important we organize our spirits or our mindset. Is our mind healthy or should we talk to someone?’

“Eomma-Chan are you ok?” Chan flinched from his hunched over state.

No he wasn’t fine.

If Chan was honest he hadn’t been fine in almost two decades.

Who was even asking the question.

“Eomma-Chan?” Chan looked up.

It was San, standing near the entrance holding a stuffed wolf.

“Yeah I’m fine.” Why did Chan’s voice crack?

Why were more tears escaping?
It was a book.
Just a book.
The child took a few steps forward.
“You don’t look ok.”
“What are you doing out of bed? Do you want me to sing you another song - or read you another story or -“

“Youngie wouldn’t stop kicking. I wanted cuddles.”

Chan sighed. “Come here then.”

San eagerly ran up to the omega and hugged him tight, making the book fall out of Chan’s hands.

“Uh oh. I’ll get it.” San picked up the book as if on instinct and put it back in its place.

“There are tissues in Eomma and Appa’s bathroom do you want me to-“

“No, let's just go to bed.”

“Ok!”

They got in bed, Chan turned the lights off only to have to go turn the bathroom light on so San could sleep.

“You don’t kick in your sleep right?”
“No San-ah, go to bed.”
“Ok.” San snuggled close.

Chan wasn’t sure if this should be allowed. Chan wasn’t San’s parent but Seonghwa had said in the manual that this was likely to happen.

San slept soundly on Chan’s chest making the omega not dare to move. Normally he would toss and turn for a few hours before maybe falling in and out of sleep for another few hours, but now he was just stuck lying on his back with the 7 year old lying on his chest.

It brought back memories of when his kids used to seek comfort from him when their father wasn’t home.
They would sneak into Chan’s room and snuggle close to him. Chan would always do his best to be a source of comfort to his children but considering their current mental state he doubted he had done a very good job.

Comfort was something that Seonghwa excelled in.

Just another thing Seonghwa was better at than Chan.

 

<>

 

Yeosang didn’t hate school, but he didn’t like it much either.
He didn’t really care, it was just something he had to do.

Yeosang didn’t understand why he had to go to school, he just knew that if he skipped the teacher would get mad and Eomma and Appa would be sad and disappointed.

That was the last thing Yeosang wanted.

Something Yeosang did want was for Dong-min and Kwang to just leave him alone. Yeosang knew he wasn’t the fastest thinker but he really didn’t understand why those two boys would never leave him alone.

Were they really bad at kickball so they thought it would be easier to make fun of Yeosang than to make fools of themselves on the field? Or why weren’t they nerds that read under a tree during recess instead of having fun? Or was making fun of Yeosang what they viewed as fun?

Regardless of the reason Yeosang hated it or - strongly disliked it, because eomma said it wasn’t good to hate things or people…

Appa definitely hated some people though - Yeosang had heard enough arguments his Appa was having over the phone to know that his Appa hated some people.
Maybe only adults could hate people?

“Freak at least look at us.”

“Dong-min he must be deaf and dumb.”

The two laughed, it really wasn’t that funny. They had been making the same ‘joke’ the entire year, did they really not know how to make better jokes or at least clever insults - not that Yeosang knew how to make clever insults - but theoretically his would be better.

“Guess what freak?”

“What?” Curse Yeosang’s automatic responses, why was he responding to them?

“So you can talk.”

“The fifth graders had recess earlier in the morning so your big brother can’t save you.”

Oh right - that was bad.

“Why aren’t you scared?”

“You should be scared?”

Was Yeosang sad or scared?

I mean he was a little sad that he hadn’t seen his parents for a few weeks but he wasn’t scared.
Sure the boys had done the same thing today that they did yesterday but so what? They weren’t actually doing anything.

“I’m not scared.”

Kwang and Dong-min looked shocked as if they were surprised Yeosang wasn’t scared of them.
“I thought it was just a rumor but it must be true.”

“You really must be possessed.”
Did they practice finishing each other’s sentences?
“I’m not possessed, I’ve told you a million times that. Maybe you’re just dumb and can’t remember that I told you?”
“What did you say, freak?”

Did Dong-min think he was scary? Because he wasn’t.
“Your entire family is possessed, that’s what my eomma said.”
“Mine called your eomma a - uh - a slut.”
What was a slut?
Yeosang had no idea but he knew his eomma was nothing bad.

“My eomma isn’t a slut.”
“My appa called your Appa a - a uh sub yeah that was the word.”
Yeosang didn’t know what a sub was either or why other parents were talking bad about his parents, it wasn’t very nice, it was mean.
“My dad isn’t a sub.”
“Are you calling my Appa a liar?” Dong-min pushed Yeosang on the ground.
“Yes - he’s a meanie.” Yeosang replied, his butt hurt and he would probably have grass stains on his pants now. He tried to stand up again but Kwang pushed him back on to the ground.

“You’re being a meanie too.”

“You can’t be mean to a freak - freak.” Kwang got on his knees wrestled Yeosang on the ground, thankfully Yeosang and plenty of practice wrestling with his brothers and was able to get out of Kwang’s grasp pretty easily, now they both had grass stains on their pants.
“I’m really not a freak.”
“They why has that bruise on your face never healed?”
Yeosang touched his birthmark.
Eomma called it an angel kiss - yet Dong-min and Kwang called it a curse - obviously eomma was right though.
“It’s not a bruise.”
“Well it’s ugly like one. It ruins your whole face. My eomma says only really bad parents have kids with marks like those.”
But eomma and Appa were great parents, Yeosang loved his parents.
“Eomma and Appa are perfect parents. They are much better than your meanie parents.”
Dong-min pushed Yeosang back to the ground. Did they seriously not know how to do anything else? Did they have no creativity?
“There’s something wrong with all of you - honestly why can’t see it?”

“If you were just normal then we wouldn’t have to do this everyday.”
“What are you even doing?”

“Why are you so dumb?”

“Kwang he’s possessed, the demons can’t think that fast.”

“I’m not possessed.”

“I’ll slow it down for you. As long as you have that awful bruise on your face we know you are possessed, so until it’s gone we need to keep reminding you. We are just being nice.”

“But you’re being mean.”

“You’re just dumb freak.”

“That’s not my name - do you even know my name?”

Just then the teacher yelled for them all to come back in. Yeosang ran off quickly, he was much faster than Kwang and Dong-min.

School ended soon after, Yeosang was picked up by Yuhno and then they picked up San and Mingi and then walked together to the front gate where they were picked up, there was no dance practice so they went straight home.

There were only three days left of school but that might as well have been an eternity.

Once home Yeosang went up to his room - well his and Jongho’s room.

He changed and brought his clothes down to the laundry room where he found Mr. Bang.

“I stained my pants, I’m sorry.” Yeosang left the pants with Mr. Bang and left, not sure how he would react. Eomma would have asked him what happened - Yeosang probably would have lied, no matter how many times he told Eomma and no matter how many times Eomma talked to the principal nothing was actually done. Maybe he could go to a different school next year.

Yeosang joined his brothers in the living room playing just dance, it was legitimately one of their favorite pastimes. Yeosang was really bad at it. Although he had been in dance lessons for three years he was still awake with movements he didn’t carefully practice, so he normally just watched as Yuhno won every single round.

It was sometimes annoying how lucky his older got at games, or even when it wasn’t luck based and he just won games fair and square, but at the same time Yeosang wasn’t that competitive but he did like seeing his brothers win, maybe not against each other, but when Yuhno played basketball it was fun to watch him. He liked cheering for his brothers. He liked seeing his brothers succeed.

He really didn’t understand why the kids at school didn’t like his brothers or his parents, they were pretty cool people, Yeosang was the weird one. None of his brothers had birthmarks on their faces.
Why did Yeosang have one?

Was it really a curse?

But eomma would never lie to him… would he?

If the mark went away would Dong-min and Kwang really leave him alone?

Yeosang quietly left the living room and made his way upstairs into his eomma and Appa’s room and then into the adjoining bathroom.

Where did Eomma put his makeup?

Did he take it with him?

Mr Bang didn’t wear any or he was just really bad at putting it on or maybe the dark coloring under his eyes was a style?

Eventually Yeosang found the makeup bag and opened it. There were a lot of things in there, and honestly Yeosang hadn’t paid too much attention to how his eomma or Appa put on makeup. That was another thing the kids at school made fun of him for, his Appa wore makeup.

So what?

He was a designer, an artist, of course he had to look better than the other parents.

Maybe they were just self conscious that they didn’t know how to do makeup or have the confidence to wear it themselves, sort of how Yeosang felt. He just wanted to hide his birthmark but had no idea how to do that.

“Yeosang what are you doing in here?” Oh dear, it was Mr. Bang.

“Uh - nothing.”

Yeosang was so guilty.

Mr. Bang sighed deeply and leaned up against the doorframe of the bathroom.

“Does this have something to do with the grass stains?”

“Uh - no?”

Mr. Bang sucked in a breath, “Well ok - you don’t have to tell me anything but if you do I might be able to help you.”

Eomma and Appa couldn’t fix the situation - Mr. Bang couldn’t fix it either and talking about it only made Yeosang uncomfortable.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Ok - do you want a hug - they make everything better.” Was he really not going to pry?

He was doing the same thing he had done with Mingi last week, only Yeosang wasn’t hurting himself, “I just wanted to look like Eomma.”
Well that was sort of true, his Eomma was the most beautiful person in the whole world. If he looked like Eomma they might still say mean things about his parents but he wouldn’t be called cursed.

“Is there a reason you want to look like Eomma?”

“Because he’s pretty and I’m not.”

Had Mr. Bang just tricked him into revealing himself?

“What makes you say that Yeosang-ah?” Yeosang subconsciously pointed to his birthmark as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Yeosang-ah your birthmark doesn’t make you not pretty.”

“The boys at school say it makes me cursed.”

Mr. Bang sighed and crouched down to Yeosang’s level and then sat on the ground, Eomma probably wouldn’t find that very sanitary but Yeosang sat next to him.

“Can I show you a picture?” Mr. Bang said suddenly. Was he changing the subject?

Yeosang nodded his head, Mr. Bang took his phone out and opened the photo app, scrolled only once and tapped on a picture. “This is a picture of my son Yongbok.”

“Yongbok is such an old man's name.”

“My father-in-law named him. We call him Felix but that’s not the point. Can you see him, his face is covered in freckles yet I think he’s the cutest kid in the world, do you think the freckles make him ugly?”

Yeosang shook his head, “No he’s really cute.” Yeosang thought that Yongbok or Felix was the cutest boy he had ever seen.

“Boys at school make fun of because he has freckles, they say he’s ugly but as you can see he’s not.”

“Those boys are wrong.”

“Well the boys at your school are just as wrong and there’s no reason for you to listen to them - ok.”

“Ok.”

“Great - now are you hungry for dinner?”

Yeosang nodded, “Ok then let’s go, dinner’s ready.”

Mr. Bang stood up, Yeosang followed suit, “Mr. Bang?”

“Yes Yeosang-ah?”

“What’s a slut?” It was as if all the air was squeezed out of the room, Mr. Bang stared at Yeosang with an oddly confused look on his face, “Where did you hear that word?”

“That’s what the boys called eomma, they said that that’s what their parents called him.”

“It’s a very bad word Yeosang. They are wrong about that too, ok. Your eomma isn’t - he isn’t that ok.”

“Ok - and what’s a sub?”

“Like for a sports game?”

“That’s what they called my Appa.”

“They are wrong about that too, from now on don’t listen to anything they say because everything they say is wrong.”

“Ok.”

“Now-“ Mr. Bang seemed to change the subject as soon as possible, “Let’s go eat dinner.” Yeosang followed Mr. Bang out of the bathroom and ate dinner with him and the rest of his brothers. He still wanted to know what exactly those words meant, but at least now he confirmed that Dong-min and Kwang were wrong.

 

<>

 

As Chan lay awake that night he thought about what had happened with Yeosang, he had told the camera log what had happened, Soenghwa and Hongjoong would probably have to talk to the administration of the school except by the time they would receive the news school would have been out for almost a month and it might not be worth it to try and do anything.

But it was bullying - that much was clear.

Chan had experiences with bullying, both himself and his kids.

Other trainees and often berated him in order to make themselves feel better, Chan hated it but never did anything about it because he didn’t want it to seem like he was trying to make an issue of anything especially since he was foreign and if he got kicked out he’d have to go back to Australia and all those years would have been wasted except those years had been wasted … hadn’t they?

Those years were when he met Jinwook at a movie theater. Jinwook had worked at the ticket booth and had given him his number, Chan should have thrown it away - dating was forbidden - he was seventeen though and felt like there was little chance for him to debut. Although maybe he would have if he hadn’t had to leave.

But then he wouldn’t have his kids.
Which was better?
His kid’s bullies Chan had taken more seriously.

Kids made fun of Hyunjin because he didn’t get good grades, particularly one girl whose name Chan didn’t care to remember. Jisung was bullied because he ‘caused trouble’ and always wore long sleeves. Yongbok was bullied because of his precious freckles. The others hadn’t been bullied unless their father counted…

 

Chan stopped that train of thought.

Chan rolled on to his other side and looked at the desk that still held the book that had brought him to tears. The book had received the Goncho Literary Award the year it was published, and although it had been met with criticism most people really enjoyed it - at least that was what Chan had read online, he still hadn’t finished even the first chapter.

Chan reached over and grabbed his phone from the nightstand - he winced at the brightness but slowly adjusted to it.

He pulled up Naver and typed in Kim Seonghwa - the only thing that came up was a blurb about his book and the award it had won - under the wikipedia article Chan learned that while he was a model he went by his maiden name Park Seonghwa. Chan decided to look that up instead.

What came up was completely different.

There were thousands of pictures - photoshoots that he had been a part of, the ones from about five years ago were mainly maternity photoshoots for body positivity and maternity clothing but his older stuff was completely shocking.

Apparently Seonghwa had worked for an intimint apparel company - he found one article that stated that he had also worked as a model for hostess bars. These pictures were definitely sensual in nature - Chan felt embarrassed as he looked at them.

Seonghwa showed off everything - and it was as if every bone was on display - his collarbones and jawline especially - Chan almost didn’t believe that this man was the same man that was on the cover of “A clean home for a family” they looked like two completely different people.

The more photos Chan looked at the more he saw why he assumed the other parents had made rude comments about Seonghwa.

He was almost a nude model and probably would have been if there weren’t laws in Korea set in place against those kinds of model works. Chan hated that he could see it - because it didn’t excuse the parents to make those comments.

Chan couldn’t get the image of Seonghwa out of his head. So many bones - Chan was sure that in those pictures he had been severely underweight he looked much healthier in the maternity photoshoots but there were still prevalent bones that shouldn’t have been that obvious to be seen.

Perhaps it had been more than unrealistic beauty standards that had led Seonghwa to leave the modeling world.

Maybe he hadn’t liked the image that so many people were forcing on him because he had sex appeal.

Chan found a perfume commercial that was essentially a tv sex scene with Seonghwa trapped under someone else pretending to be ecstasy because that’s what the scent was called - ecstasy.

It made Chan very uncomfortable.

He deleted the search from his phone and placed it back on the nightstand.

Why had he looked that up?

It was a complete invasion of privacy.

Seriously, what was wrong with him?

Chapter Text

Cheol sighed heavily and spun once around in Chan’s desk chair. He couldn’t wait for this to be over. He enjoyed the concept of the work but he didn’t enjoy the work. Not because Cheol despised hard work but because he hated work that he viewed as useless and a waste of time and what he was doing being stuck in a small producing studio for almost fifteen hours every day was useless.

Cheol had regularly been breaking Chan’s schedule by returning home earlier than he was supposed to because he felt uneasy about leaving the kids home alone. Of course they had each other and Minho and Changbin were relatively responsible but that didn’t ease Cheol’s feelings at all.

The alpha prioritized being at home or out with his kids. It was something he hadn’t done before it was too late so he was going to do his damndest to make up for lost time.

Over the almost two weeks Cheol had listened to everything Chan had ever written and published, from his Soundcloud days to his current award winning level. Because of course Chan was a very accomplished producer but you would never know that because all the awards he had received were in a box in a storage closet.

It really showed Cheol that Chan wasn’t working this job because he desired fame or fortune but because he loved music. Of course Chan was a workaholic but it was obvious that he loved his job. Any coworker that Cheol had talked to and told him that Chan was extremely dedicated, maybe even too dedicated.

Cheol had an idea what he was going to do for the rule change but wasn’t sure the directors were going to find it very entertaining.

Of course there were going to be the dreaded conversations with each of the boys that Minho claimed they were going to have and that Cheol definitely was not qualified to give. But there was something else as well.

On the rule change days everything was switched.

Cheol would hand over Chan’s cards and receive his cash envelopes, so he had used the budget he had been given by the production staff to buy a photo consultation, and a shelf for Chan’s office.

Cheol realized that most of the family pictures were outdated and years old, in fact he had only seen one picture of Jeongin and that had been the day he was born. Cheol knew how expensive pictures could be but he had always made an effort for photos to be taken. Choel had signed the boys up for individual shots that Choel would put up in Chan’s studio - office - whatever it was called.

The alpha wasn’t sure how Chan would feel about it, but he assumed he would like it, afterall it was obvious the omega loved his family, despite the brief hours or less than a few hours he spent with them.

But other than that Cheol was dreading going back to his shoestring budget.

Of course from what the alpha had gathered the Bang kids used to live on a more restricted budget but they hadn’t lived on one in years. Cheol did make the budget work for thirteen people though, so he was sure that it would be fine for eight.

Cheol was honestly so ready to be done. He wondered what exactly his kids were dealing with, he was honestly shocked that whoever had been paired with his kids hadn’t called it quits yet. Of course Cheol loved his kids, but they were a lot, and they weren’t just a lot sometimes, it was all the time.

There was never rest.

From sun up from sun down the kids had to be your every thought or else you would forget one. Cheol probably counted his kids three to five times a day - he regularly called them by their young names - sometimes the kids didn’t mind and other times the kids decided to annoy him by telling him he had the young name even when he had the right name.

It was mainly just a younger Soonyoung and Seokmin - those two - they were something else…

Jeonghan and Jisoo had once switched places like every twin cliche - it was the first thing they did after Jeonghan had his hair cut.

Cheol missed them though.
He missed the noise and the chaos.

The Bang house - it was just sort of sad - a bit depressing.

Every conversation was like walking on eggshells.

The kids were scared maybe to themselves or maybe they were just scared of their older brother. Even after Cheo’s heart to heart with Minho he didn’t think that much had changed, perhaps it would when the rules changed but currently it was very much the same.

There were so many things about the Bang home that Cheol wished he could fix, but at the same time there were several similar problems that his own home had. Problems that couldn't be erased.

The home lacked joy.

That was probably the fundamental problem.

The kids were depressed, even those that presented themselves as “fine.”

And the kids that knew something was wrong that had outward expressions of how not fine they were thought they were somehow lesser because their siblings were fine.

At least that’s what Cheol thought.

None of that was confirmed, it was just a vibe - if Cheol was using that word right.

He was getting old - slang didn’t make sense anymore.

Cheol knew his kids weren’t perfect.

There were still so many problems.

Jeonghan still compartmentalized and ignored his own feelings. Jisoo still had nightmares and occasional panic attacks. Jun just floated through life and just accepted everything whether good or bad, he had no care for his future. Soonyoung thought it was his responsibility to take care and protect everyone. Wonwoo was terrified of older men, even some of his classmates. Jihoon wished it was responsibility to protect everyone but at the same time he was just so angry at the world. Seokmin ignored the past and lived only in the present, seeking to bring joy to his family rather than try and heal his own trauma. Mingyu thought that if he could care for everyone everything would be fine. Minghao still couldn’t stomach large portions of food, people bullied him for being foreign and having burns on his arms. Seungkwan refused to go down cleaning ailes, and had a panic attack if he ever smelled bleach. Hansol was terrified of large bodies of water. And Chan - well Dino wanted to be loved, he knew something was wrong but never grew up in it.

Cheol didn’t know how to tell him.

The boy only knew his mother was in jail and that was were he had been born.

In Cheol’s defense he had not been the one to tell him that fact.

Jihoon had told him - accidentally of course…

Cheol spun around in the chair once more, stopping when he came face to face with the clock.

5:15

If he were back home he’d almost be home by now, but of course Chan wouldn’t leave for another four, maybe five hours.

Cheol hated the schedule so much.

He hoped that the next schedule would be easier to follow, that he wouldn’t actually get to do something and not just sit in an almost empty office doing nothing but thinking just how he could help the Bang family.

He had read dozens of articles on domestic abuse - he had experienced it first hand with his sons and his previous job as a social worker.

He had loved his job.

There were times when he wanted to quit but he had never imagined he would actually do it. He loved trying to help people, he was good at negotiating and communicating with supervisors, judges, parents and kids. He was good at navigating difficult conversations and his boss respected him because he had worked his way from a drop out highschooler who cleaned the building to a successful, trusted employee who went on business trips and was trusted to lead meetings and speak in court.

Cheol didn’t mind his current job but he wished he could go back.

Except his life was too messy to be a social worker.

His kids (excluding Chan) actually all had social workers that were supposed to check in on them every few months.

Seokmin’s worker was the only one that kept to that, oftentimes bringing him a milkshake and just speaking to him for a few minutes every few months.

Cheol hated that it had to be that way.

Hated that he had been taken to court on accounts of negligence and had been sued by his ex wife when he initially filed for divorce. Cheol hated that the court thought there had been enough evidence to press forward and attempt to charge him. Thankfully Cheol knew a good lawyer because he interacted with dozens on a daily basis, but the fact that it had gotten that far sickened the alpha to his very core.

The court actually debated whether the kids would be safer in foster care except they would be split up for sure - Jun and Minghao might have even been sent back to China. Cheol knew how hard it was to keep two siblings together let alone 11 - 11 not 12 because at the time his ex was pregnant and didn’t think to tell him until after Chan was born - in prison…

Cheol hated it.

Cheol spun the chair to face the computer, he mindlessly looked at the screen noticing a pdf on the main screen entitled, “Songs TBF”

He clicked on it, unlike the normal song demo links it was just pages and pages of lyrics. The thing that confused Cheol though, was the fact that many of the lyrics weren’t in Korean.

They were mainly in English and Japanese, both languages that Cheol didn’t speak. He knew some business and conversational Mandarin from his business trip days and from Jun and Minghao but had never taken the time to learn English or Japanese.

He pulled up a translator app and began to translate the lyrics.

‘I'll never cry because I know that it'll never change
I'll stay standing and endure it in an unknown place
There will be many times I'll almost fall, but
Alone, I reach out my hand, alone, I stand back up
Worn out sneakers, worn out tee
I don't have time to heal my aching scars
This voice dying in front of the pop guard
All these scars are somehow like a tattoo’

What were these scars?

Was it Chan’s scars?

Cheol knew Jisung had scars but the lyrics seemed so personal. Did Chan have physical scars as well or were they all metaphorical?

As Cheol continued to read and translate it seemed like this was Chan’s thought dump page where he would just put everything he was feeling and wanted to say but couldn’t into lyrics with no intention of ever finishing the song.

‘And now I'm walking on my way, all alone, I'm feeling so cold
Not getting anywhere, I feel like I'm in slow mode
Used to be a winner, everything was all black and white
Now I'm bottom of the pile, a dusty photo
So many thoughts are inside of my head
I'm always drying these tears on my face
How could I ever get used to the fact that
The songs and the lyrics, they all sound the same
"Come on, I know you can do it"
I have to repeat it again and again, yeah
I wanna look in the mirror
Telling myself that I did a good job, ayy
Everyone gonna be watching
I gotta show 'em all of me
But I've been insecure lately
'Cause I don't know what they want from me, ayy
Feeling so nervous, I wanna go forward
But everyone else overtaking me
Blocking my vision, my body is shaking
I don't know if I can keep up, yeah, yeah’

“Chan this isn’t therapy.” Cheol didn’t know if he should keep reading?

It was so personal.

But Cheol almost wished these were real songs.

They might be able to help so many people by letting them know that they are not alone in these thoughts and feelings. It would help Soonyoung and Jihoon with the physical scars they bore on their shins and calves. It would help Wonwoo know that it was ok to not always be at the top, he could rest, take a break and not feel like he had to just keep going on and on.

But as much as Cheol knew he probably should stop, curiosity got the better of him and he kept reading.

‘I cannot breathe without you being right by my side, I'll die
So can you please come over closer?
Hold me tight, right now
No matter how hard I try to escape, there's no answer
Until I fall asleep in the sun, even deeper
I really wanna know, yeah
I've already lost control, oh’

It was an obsessive relationship.

Was it about Chan’s ex?

‘Now, tell me you hate me
"I can't handle you anymore"
But I know, you and me
There's no other way
No matter how hard I try to run away, set the mic up
Until the moon falls asleep, even deeper
I really wanna know, yeah
I've already lost control, oh’

Seriously, Chan needed therapy.

‘This is my grim struggle for my tomorrow
My current state is as if I saw yesterday's future, yeah
My smile appears at the call of others, a sigh falls out
A maze of memories appears as if today's me saw the past me
Getting slower as I walk, the wind drives me
Ayy, turn up with this wandering
Please give me some time to sleep even for a little bit
Show me the wrong answer
That's acting like the right answer in my life
Everything looks like a lie to me right now
It's like I'm stuck in time’

Cheol respected Chan’s wordplay immensely, but seriously writing lyrics wasn’t therapy.

‘When the dark night makes everyone sleep, when they fall asleep
I can't sleep because of so many thoughts
Just expecting to come up with an idea
I wait until the morning sun wakes all up, wait
When I turn off all the lights, when I set the alarm
When I'm tired, worries come to my mind
When I look back on my day
What should I do tomorrow? What? The alarm rings’

Of course Chan had insomnia because literally how could his life get worse? The one good thing about your life sucking though was that it could theoretically only get better.

Except he might not be able to fix his situation or solve the problem but he could make improvements and try to get better, that was all anyone could do, so why was Chan so stuck in his head?

‘There's nothing, no one to care or worry about me
Only cold words, telling me to give up on my dreams
Those quitting words keep hitting my ear, only despair grows
The hopeful sky only gets covered by other people's hands
I'm praying to live as I try to endure with the piercing eyes on meI'm going insane, even if I succeed, I'll be someone's clown
So people tell me to give up on becoming a singer
I'm getting weak, but I keep pushing myself’

Cheol took one last breath before finally clicking out of the file. The lyrics were clearly personal. Chan probably didn’t want them read by just anyone. Cheol was not a trained therapist but it didn’t take a trained professional to know that Chan needed help.

Cheol knew it wasn’t going to be easy but when he met Chan and whoever the other parents were he wouldn’t hesitate to strongly encourage Chan to get the help he needed and maybe even take a break from work.

Cheol wasn’t sure if the work was stressing Chan out or if his own mind was the subject of his torment but whatever the problem was it needed to be addressed if Chan and his family wanted to move forward in their lives and live as normal a life as possible.

 

<>

 

Changbin loved cheerleading.

He knew most people viewed the sport or pastime as something just for females but Changbin resented that. So what? Guys should cheer on people too. Why depend on women for that? Everyone should be someone’s cheerleader and everyone should have a cheerleader.

Changbin knew that those thoughts were not super realistic, but Changbin tried to pretend he wasn’t a realistic person in order to live a more fun life. However his true thoughts always came back to bite him in the end.

“Changbin, pay attention. The presentation won’t be perfect if you keep daydreaming!”

“Yes coach. Sorry coach!”

Changbin ran back to formation. If he was honest he preferred the freedom and liberty you could have with dancing, but Minho had basically forced everyone to stop dancing, unless it was for fun when they were listening to music.

So Changbin chose the closest thing - taekwondo illustrations. He had been on a demo team for almost a year but certain teachers hadn’t been the kindest to him, they had been a little forward. Cangbin could handle the wandering hands, but the degrading comments had started getting to him so he quit and joined cheerleading.

There were still degrading comments but they were mainly about weight and looks.

People liked Chagbin’s weight - or lack thereof. They said his jawline was sexy and could slice fruit. (As a joke they tried it once - it didn't work…)

If Changbin was honest he didn’t like being the size he was. He wished he had a stronger physique, maybe ten centimeters taller - who was he kidding he’d be perfectly fine with just an extra five centimeters.

He knew that his litheness allowed him to be thrown around - lifted and carried, but he longed to be the one doing the lifting and carrying.

When he wasn’t being lifted he was often in the front row leading a routine not only because he had experience in dancing but also because he was about the same height if not shorter than many of the other cheerleaders so if went in the back he wouldn’t be able to be seen.

Practice after Changbin’s little blip went smoothly - he received compliments and statements of gratitude because he wasn’t heavy - he had to stop some people form make comments about another girl who some of the others deemed ‘too heavy’ - nevermind that girl was honestly someone with an innate sense of rhythm and unnatural flexibility- no they had to talk about her weight.

Maybe Changbin loved the idea of cheerleading but hated some of the practices common in the sport.

“Hyung!” Well that wasn’t something he heard normally. It was usually “Oppa” or just “Changbin”

The thirteen year old turned toward where he heard his name - Hyunjin was running toward the field. Changbin was initially nervous and worried something bad had happened but considering the smile on Hyunjin’s face he doubted that was the case.

Changbin said goodbye to the others, grabbed his bag and ran to meet up with his brother.

“What are you doing here Jinnie?”

“Minho-hyung said I could come get you because I did well on my finals and I wanted to see the cheerleaders so I could join them in a few years. Well maybe next year - I won’t be with you but you could teach me everything you know.”

Hyunjin must have gotten amazing grades to be this talkative.

“Just how good were your grades?”

“I can’t tell you till we get back home, come on.” Hyunjin took his older brother’s arm and started walking off. “Hyung is making bulgogi and I don’t want it to all be gone before we get home.”

Changbin laughed - but followed his brother’s pace. They soon arrived to the bus stop and found their seats. Hyunjin seemed very excited. Changbin expected that meant that his brother had done surprisingly well - or he could have just been excited because Minho was sure to be cooking a good meal, whichever the reason Changbin was perfectly satisfied.

The bus stopped, the boys got off, found their apartment building and waited patiently for the elevator to take them to their floor.

Hyunjin was practically skipping so Changbin joined him, skipping down the halls without a care in the world.

Changbin struggled opening the door while Hyunjin was pulling on his arm whining at him to hurry up.

“Stop pulling my arm.”

“Hurry up! Hurry up!”

Changbin opened the door and was hit with the sweet savor of beef.

“Hyung it smells so good!”

“If you were faster we would’ve been able to eat sooner.” Minho teased back.

“Don’t be like that Hyung.” Changbin teased back.

“Guys I’m hungry.” Hyunjin whined.

“We’ve been waiting for a whole hour!” Jisung threw in.

“Minho-Hyung’s only been done with the food for five minutes.”

“Seungmin!”

“Everyone just be quiet so we can eat.” Minho quieted his brothers and sat down on the floor next to Changbin. “Go on Jeongin-ah.” Minho waved at his brother to start eating. The youngest did so and the others followed immediately, scarfing down the grand meal Minho had prepared.

It honestly caught Changbin a little off guard. It was normal for Minho to make good food and a lot of it, and it was also normal for him to make something extra special for certain occasions- but this was a little too much.

They had gotten their finals back and although Changbin didn’t think any of his brothers looked like they had been crying, the act of getting finals back was not necessarily seen as a joyous occasion… unless you were Seungmin…

Changbin ate though with joy because the food was really good and he had passed all his classes mainly with B’s and C’s so it was perfectly average, but as Changbin continued to eat he saw Minho eating noticeably less. It was something he had done when Eomma hadn’t been given enough money for food and there was hardly enough to go around.

But Minho had a soft smile on his face.

It was clearly fake though - that much was clear to Changbin. Was Minho trying to get something from them? Did he have plans to mutiny and kick out Mr. Choi and demand to the director that Eomma comes home?

That wasn’t likely… not impossible but not likely.

Maybe he was just being nice … nope this was Minho the only time he was genuinely nice without teasing was when you were sick or injured or just having a rough time any other time he’d tease you relentlessly as a sign of love of course.

But what could be the reason?

Had Minho failed and decided to drop out?

That wasn’t likely either.

Just as Changbin’s brain was really starting to confuse itself Minho stood up from his seat on the floor.

“I think everyone should go sit on the couch.”

This was serious.

The brothers looked at each other, some more nervous than others. “What’s this about?” Jisung asked in a small voice.

“Are you ok Hyung?” Yongbok chimed in.

“It wasn’t me Hyung. I swear I didn’t do anything.” Hyunjin exclaimed.

“Relax,” he waved them off, “No one is getting air fried today. I do need your finals to put on the refrigerator though and I need you all to sit on the couch.”

They all reluctantly did what they were asked to do. Changbin grabbed Jeongin from his high chair and placed him on his lap once seated on the couch. Hyunjin sat on his right, and Jisung and Yongbok squeezed on his left. Seungmin plopped himself on the floor.

“Ok I need everyone's finals.” Minho said cheerfully - too cheerfully.

The brothers did as they were told, Minho looked at ease, Changbin knew he was just acting.

“Ok I’ll read the grades in order. So I have all C’s except for English. It's a D.”

“Still passing.” Changbin added.

Everyone clapped.

Someone might find this tradition weird - or odd but this was something the boys had been doing a long time. They clapped if you passed all your classes, it was that simple. After all the grades were read out they put the finals on the refrigerator.

Most people would think that parents would be displeased with the grades, but eomma just said that if they did their best that that would be good enough for him.

“Binnie has all B’s and C’s and ooh you have an A too.”

Everyone clapped.

The A was from the Korean class. The final was just writing poems. Changbin enjoyed that.

“Read mine last Hyung.” Hyunjin asked as Minho pulled up his papers.

“But I’m last.” Seungmin said (Jeongin didn’t have finals).

“But we all already know your grades - please Hyung.” Seungmin huffed as Hyunjin pleaded with Minho.

Much to everyone’s shock Minho actually did what was asked of him.

That settled it - something was wrong - something was seriously wrong. Minho gave Hyunjin the hardest time. He had to “keep him humble.” honestly Hyunjin normally encouraged the teasing and enjoyed it somehow. Minho never gave up on a chance to tease the younger - truly something awful must have happened or he was about to give terrible news.

Some of the others noticed Minho’s weird (weirder than normal) mood, but decided not to comment on it. That was always the case. Everyone knew something was wrong - maybe not Jeongin but the three year old saw his brothers every day so maybe he picked up on it too?

It was a Bang family specialty though - see a problem with yourself or a situation - say nothing - do nothing - pretend to be fine. But if someone else that you care about is having a problem you move heaven and earth in order to help them.

Should Changbin say something now or just wait for it to all blow up?

Who was he kidding he wasn’t going to change his ways at the moment.

“Jisung passed with - all A’s and B’s.” Everyone turned to stare at Jisung, he normally barely passed - how had he suddenly just changed.

“If I failed I would have had to be held back and wouldn’t be able to pass with Yongbok so I actually read the questions and didn’t just fill in random blanks.”

Had that seriously been what Jisung had been doing this entire time and the second he decided to apply himself he suddenly got great grades.

Changbin wished that was him.

“Well good job Jisung. Ok Yongbok let’s see. Well you passed.”

“Don’t read it outloud Hyung! Please!”

“Bokie you were literally second to last on the class roster - it’s ok.” Jisung just blurted, “It’s ok you passed.”

“You did pass alright.” Minho checked the grades again - “Wait - how did you get an A in English? And then you have English in third grade!”

Yongbok nodded eagerly. “Yes we do - It’s not that hard, Eomma writes songs in English all the time, we should be able to speak English too.”

Honestly Changbin was stunned, as was Minho. Maybe they were just learning the alphabet and didn’t have to try and figure out how to make a noun and verb agree with each other when no rules in English stayed the same … ever.

“Well congrats. Ok Seungmin you got all A’s ok I’m going to read Hyunjin’s now-”

“Aren’t you going to congratulate me?” Seungmin asked from the floor.

“Congrats kid - ok Hyunjin now-”

“But I seriously got all A’s no one else did.”

“Minnie you’re a genius, it’s not that hard for you to get the best grades out of all of us. We’re all idiots.”

“Come on Minho, don't be like that. Good job Seungmin.”

“Thanks Binnie-hyung.”

“Ok - well now I’ll read Hyunjin’s grades.”

Minho paused for a moment and looked at Hyunjin’s papers. “Jinnie, why did you want me to read yours last?”

“Because it’s so cool. I got the exact same score on all of them.”

“You got a 60, that’s a D-”

“So it’s still passing.”

Minho just shook his head.

“I’m gonna be able to be a cheerleader with Binnie Hyung now!”

“You still have to wait a year.”

Hyunjin pouted and sat back on the couch. “Cheer up Jinnie, I’m glad you passed.”

“Thank’s Hyung.”

“Well I’m going to put these all on the fridge.”

They all watched as Minho walked over and used magnets to attach the papers to the fridge. “I can’t believe I got a higher score than Jinnie-hyung.”

“Don’t get a big head, you had a 62 on one of those.”

“Jisung!”

“What!?”

Yongbok just whined at his older twin as Minho came back.

Now was the time.

Whatever Minho was hiding from them was about to be revealed. Changbin took stock of his siblings.

Jeongin was contently playing with one of his plushies, Yongbok was still playfully fighting with Jisung, Hyunjin was still sulking, and Seungmin was just sitting patiently - Changbin really didn’t know how he was related to Seungmin. He loved his second youngest brother so much, the kid had a great sense of humor and was irresponsible - he was honestly a little too perfect sometimes. He was so opposite of the others.

Changbin assumed that would only be a good thing though - after all no one in their right mind would actually want to be like them.

"I have something to say.” Minho now had the room.

Everyone was silent and waiting for what he was going to say.

“As I’m sure you all know - our lives have been shit.”

Changbin contemplated covering Jeongin’s ears - but Changbin had heard much worse at his age, so it was probably fine.

“I think that maybe we should try and move on - like actually not just ignore it - just spill everything so we can like get it over with and be normal.”

Changbin wasn’t sure if that was how it worked… in fact he highly doubted that that would work.

“Hyung - is this about a few nights ago -”

“What happened a few days ago?”

“Relax everyone, it’s just Mr. Choi. He used to be a social worker.”

“I’m so confused right now.”

“You want to be normal right Changbin?”

“Uh - not really. I’m content just being me.”

Minho scoffed, “You know what I mean. Look, this isn’t easy for me. Can’t you see that?”

Changbin could. Even in his wildest imaginations he wouldn’t be able to imagine Minho ever saying anything close to what was coming through his mouth. “How is that even going to help?”

“Mr. Choi said that we can’t fully move on unless we accept what happened and we can’t do that if we ignore it.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone Hyung. Mr. Choi is kind of scary.” Of course that’s what Jisung would say.

“I’m not going to force anyone to do anything - I’m just saying. I’ve been thinking about this, and I don’t want to keep living like this. Eomma has moved on and we should too.”

The brothers all stared at each other until Hyunjin broke the silence. “I don’t mind talking to Mr. Choi.”

“I already did.”

“What?” everyone stared at Seungmin. “It was the first day, I can talk to him again, I don’t mind, it was kind of nice honestly.”

Of course Seungmin would say that - because it was the complete opposite of what Changbin thought.

Well he didn’t hate the idea, but why revisit the past? It was in the past, he was in the present now, why did he have to go back?

“I could talk too.” Yongbok said. Jisung looked positively betrayed.

“What are we talking about?” right Jeongin was here. What could they tell him?

“We are going to talk about whatever we want to Mr. Choi.”

Jeongin’s face scrunched up in disgust, “I’m good, I’ll play with my toys instead.” Well that was one solution to that problem.

“Jisung you don’t have to say anything bu-”

“But you think I should because there’s something wrong with my fucking brain?”

“Jisung-ah, you know I would never say that.”

“Then what was that shit you were telling me? You don’t want to be here. Why would you try and get better if you don’t even want to be here?”

What was Jisung getting at?

Should Changbin take Jeongin to his room?

“What is this about?”

“Hyung doesn’t want-”

“Jisung. I know what I said back then.”

“It was like two days ago.”

“Jisung! I know what I said, but - I mean come on, I could never, it wouldn’t be right for me to-”

“And it would be right for me to!?”

That was it, Changbin was taking Jeongin out of the apartment. He stood up and walked to the door.

“Where do you think you're going?”

“Out. So you can finish your squabble.”

Changbin shut the door as soon as he had his shoes on, Jeongin was in his arms.

“I don’t have any shoes on.”

“I’m sorry Innie.” Why had Changbin forgotten that? He couldn’t just go back in.

Should he though? Was it really right for him to leave the others alone with the cat fight that was bound to be happening?

“Changbin-ah, what are you doing outside?”

The thirteen-year-old jumped and turned to see Mr. Choi.

He had come home early.

“Uh - you don’t want to go in there.”

“Why not?”

“Hyungs are fighting.” Jeongin responded. Mr. Choi sighed, “Can I help, should I-”

“I don't know. I can’t do anything.”

“Changbin-ah just relax, it’ll be ok.”

Why was he being asked to relax for the second time in less than a week?

Was Changbin really that stressed?

Mr. Choi typed in the code and opened the door, Changbin followed him inside, slowly.

“Just admit to everyone why don’t you!”

“It’s not like that. I do want to get better. I want us all to be better!”

“Why! Why can’t we just stay like this! Why do we have to?”

“You don’t have to - I told you. If you listened you would know that I-”

“I do plenty of listening - so just listen to me when-”

Mr. Choi cleared his throat.

“Jisung wasn’t making trouble Mr. Choi.” Yongbok responded on impulse.

“Mr. Choi isn’t going to hurt Jisung-hyung.”

“Minho could you explain what this is about?” Mr. Choi looked tired, but also calm as if he dealt with this everyday, he didn’t seem stressed by the situation at all.

“I was talking to everyone about talking to you and well - it just sort of happened.”

“No one has to talk to me. It wasn’t my idea, I’m not trained. I do think that everyone should talk to a therapist at least once in their life. I'm not one.”

“Well you’re all we have so you’ll do.”

“I still don’t want to.”

“Then you don’t have to, Jisung-ah.”

“Ok.”

Mr. Choi took a deep breath.

“Ok, I think maybe we all should all get some extra rest -”

“That’s not a very Eomma thing to say.”

“Then how about we play a board game or charades or something.”

“Mafia.” Seungmin said.

Changbin watched as Mr. Choi observed everyone very carefully.

“Are you sure?”

“Have you never played Mafia before? Are you scared Mr. Choi?” Seungmin asked with genuine interest. Changbin took his shoes off again and reentered the living room. Somehow WWIII had been avoided, Changbin still wasn’t sure how. Mr. Choi just sort of had a presence.

“My sons love playing mafia, they take it very seriously. We actually can’t play it in the apartment anymore because we’ll get sound complaints.”

“The walls are made of cement so the neighbors don’t really hear anything.”

“Ok who wants to be the narrator?”

Honestly Changbin didn’t know if he was ok with where he was at in life. He didn’t typically take the time to take a step back and actually examine his life; he lived almost exclusively in the moment.

He didn’t still quite understand what talking to Mr. Choi was even supposed to accomplish.

Eomma hadn’t really talked to anyone, yet he was super successful - did Changbin need to talk to someone?

He didn’t mind really - but was it necessary?

As the cards for mafia got passed around Changbin contemplated the question deeper.

Was Eomma passed what had happened?

Was Changbin pass it?

As much as he knew his brothers felt empty sometimes, Changbin didn’t feel that.

He didn’t hate going to school, in fact he did his best to always go. He joked around with friends at school - he actually had friends. He had a hobby outside of the apartment - he loved it.

But Changbin had never talked about much. He talked to the police and the court therapist but she had just wanted to make him cry, because apparently that would make his father’s sentence worse.

“Town asleep.”

Well perhaps there would be more time to complete life at a later date.

Chapter Text

Seonghwa patiently paced back and forth as Hongjoong talked to the director. There were so many people in the apartment today - well less than usual but for some reason it seemed more crowded than usual. “The area is too small to film.”

“You can’t just move everything.”

“How do thirteen people even fit in this room?”

“They’re mostly kids, they sit on each other’s laps.”

“Is there anything to drink?”

“I can get you something.” Finally something to do. Seonghwa hated just standing around feeling useless. All they had was filtered water but that was better than nothing. Seonghwa handed a glass to the director. “Thanks.” The director brushed it off, probably assuming Seonghwa was an intern of some kind. Hongjoong noticed it, Seonghwa gave him a look - no they were not talking about that right now.

Seonghwa sat down on the couch and tried to become invisible - not that he was very good at that. He had grown up being raised by his grandmother - he had been the center of her world while she was alive, she had taught him to do anything he put his mind to, but to always stay humble.

The humbleness she required was borderline self-deprecation, but Seonghwa still cherished her memory.

“Ok we need to get you two mic’d up.”

“But where can they even stand?” One of the soundmen asked.

“We’ll worry about that later, just get the couple mic’d.” The director seemed way too stressed for this, like he had a thousand scenes to film - almost as if Seonghwa and Hogjoong hadn’t been doing most of the work filming. Seonghwa assumed the director must have other projects he was working on because Seonghwa was nice like that and liked to assume the best.

“Untuck your shirt you need to put the wire down your back.” Seonghwa gulped, “I can put the mic on myself.” Seonghwa tried to take the mic from the sound man, “I insist - we can’t risk you breaking the mic.”

“I won’t break it.”

“Really it’s no trouble, it’ll just be a moment-”

“If it’ll just be a moment then you’ll let him do it himself.” Great Hongjoong was brooding now - if his rut was any closer he’d probably be giving off pheromones. “I’m fine really.”

“No - if you're uncomfortable you can do it yourself.” Hongjoong stared at the sound man before the man gave up and gave the mic’s to Hongjoong, the alpha didn’t say thank you so Seonghwa did and even started to bow before Hongoon grabbed his arm - “Don’t bow to that creep, he’s not worth politeness.”

“He was just trying to do his job-”

“Yeah, staring at you while you were getting the water was just part of his job.”

Seonghwa just sighed. What could he do? He checked his clothing - nope it was a pair of black jeans that were probably ten plus years and a loose t-shirt, he did not look the slightest bit provocative.

“Stop doing that ‘Hwa, it’s not you - it's them.”

“Right.”

Hongjoong sighed, “It’ll be ok, they’ll be gone soon, let me just get the mic on.”

“Ok.” Hongjoong pulled the back of Seonghwa’s shirt out enough to drop the mic box down so the chord would be hidden. He attached the box to the waistband of the pants, and then went around front and pinned the mic to the saggy collar.

“There.” Hongjoong attached his own mic with just as much ease. He had spoken for several fashion expos and to Seonghwa he was practically an expert.

“Ok can I have the couple stand over near the tv, the kids should be arriving soon.”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong went where they were directed. Seonghwa grasped Hongjoong’s hand for support. The two had talked extensively about what exactly they would do when the rule change happened.

The only thing they had decided on was that the two would go back to the roles they played at home. Hongjoong would continue Cheol’s work schedule and Seonghwa would stay at home with the kids and begin with deep cleaning the apartment, and getting the kids involved. Other than that there were things that the couple wanted to do.

They wanted to treat the boys to a nice meal full of meat and fruit.

They wanted to take Seungkwan, Seokmin and anyone else who wanted to come to karaoke.

They wanted to all go the Soonyoung’s performance and then take him out and treat him to the best meal he’d ever had.

Seonghwa wanted to see if he could go out and buy a few new things for every single of the boys - something that wasn’t ten plus years old and used by so many others. This was particularly important when Seonghwa and Mingyu were looking through an old photo album and Seonghwa saw the shirt that Mingyu was wearing on five of his older brothers.

Seongwha knew Hongjoong wanted to make Seungcheol a new wardrobe but that would have to wait until they had actually met face to face.

“Ok start rolling, they should be here any second.”

Sure enough in just about thirty seconds (which were incredibly awkward) the doors opened and in filed twelve boys. It was clear that the cameras shocked them, but they were also expecting it. They calmly took off their shoes. Seungkwan was practically jumping up and down with excitement, Hansol was just standing as he normally stood with no foreseeable expression on his face, the others were a mix of anxious, excited and attempted indifference.

The older brothers sat down, impressively fitting the twins, Soonyoung, Jun and Wonwoo on the couch seats. Mingyu sat on the arm rest next to Wonwoo, Seungkwan and Hansol sat on Jeonghan and Jisoo’s laps. Minghao sat in front of Jun and Jihoon sat next to him leaving Seokmin to sit on the other armrest and Chan to immediately go up to Seonghwa. Seonghwa picked him up on impulse - he wasn’t supposed to, but he couldn’t just let little Chan think he wasn’t wanted.

Seonghwa readjusted Chan on his hip and nudged Hongjoong to just start talking.

“We have really enjoyed getting to know all of you. Honestly we really love how you all care for each other and take care of everything that needs to be done which is why for our rule change we want to give you all a bit of a break.

The boys all looked at each other, it was obvious they wanted to all start talking at once but weren’t comfortable in front of the strangers in their home.

“In our home Hongjoong works as a designer and I stay at home, we would like to replicate that.” Well that was Seonghwa’s input.

From this scene no one would be able to tell that Hongjoong was the introvert in the relationship and Seonghwa the extrovert.

“Seonghwa also works from a different food budget which is what we will be using for the next week.” Hongjoong made the dramatic gesture to exchange Cheol’s cash envelopes for his wallet from the director. He was sure that the scene would be dramatically replayed at five different angles with super extra background music.

The kids seemed excited at that reveal. “We also plan to do our best to spend one on one time with each of you. That actually seemed to shock the kids.

“And I plan to help you deep clean the apartment.”

The boys groaned, much more quietly than they normally would, but still visibly reacted.

“I promise it won’t be boring, but that does require everyone to help.”

The boys reluctantly agreed.

“Well we might as well get started.” That was the cue the director had told Hongjoong to use to signal that the couple was done with their presentation.

“CUT!” The camera men lowered the cameras, the sounds lowered his stick. The assistant director was giving the director a look. The kids looked even more nervous.

“Is that really it?” the director asked.

“Yes.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. The others better be better - it’ll never make good television. Pack up everyone, move out in five!”

The crew did as they were told. Seonghwa just tried to stay still and out of the way. He tried to smile at all the boys to relieve some of the tension in the air, but it just wasn’t working that well. The boys wouldn’t be able to take a deep breath until the intruders were out of their home.

Sure enough the moment the crew left the couch filled with boys erupted.

“Are you really going to spend one on one time-”

“What’s your food budget-”

“You can’t ask -”

“Do we seriously have to clean?”

“Don’t complain about that.”

“Not just clean. Deep clean. I don’t even know what that means.”

“You said fun. Are we going to have fun?”

Seonghwa answered Chan’s question first.

“Yes, we will have lots of fun.”

“YAH!”

“Look, I promise that the rule change won’t be that bad. We are both pretty chill parents.” Hongjoong appeased.

“Does that mean I won’t have a bedtime?” Seokmin asked. “No you will still have one.”

“UGh.”

“When does that new budget start?” This time it was Soonyoung.

“Right now.” Hongjoong smiled and pulled out his phone, “How does fried chicken sound?”

The boys’ mouths hung open.

“Like actually fried chicken?”

“For us?”

“For all of us?”

“Yes. Is that ok with everyone?” Hongjoong was already pulling up the delivery app.

“Like takeout?”

“I’ve never had takeout before.”

“That’s not true Hansol-ah, remember that Ahjussi gives Appa takeout.”

“You know what I meant.”

“Yes, like takeout. And yes for all of you.”

“Are you rich sir?”

“Mingyu, you can’t just ask that.” Jisoo reprimanded, he was always concerned with his brother’s manners.

“I’m not rich, but -” Hongjoong didn’t really know how to answer that.

He wasn’t rich - he didn’t own a yacht or fancy cars, but they had enough to get by and have extra, there was enough to afford a mortgage and car payments without being swamped, and even have enough left over to save for special occasions.

“We aren’t rich, but we have some money safed that we want to spend.” Seonghwa said.

“You don’t have to do that.” Wonwoo said.

“We want to spend the money.”

Chan hugged Seonghwa tighter.

“I can’t wait, I’ve never had fried chicken.”

“Call the guy Joong.” Seonghwa said immediately, he needed to rectify this immediately.

Although Seonghwa didn’t love fried chicken as much as his son Yeosang, he had probably eaten several pounds of fried chicken while he was pregnant with him.

Joong called the delivery guy.

“What does the cleaning involve?” Jun asked, because of course that would be what he was concerned with first.

“We are just going to go room by room and go through every single item.

“Every thing?”

“Yes, it’s a method I use in decluttering. We start with clothing and then move on to other areas.”

Jun nodded, as if he sort of understood but didn’t know what kind of question to ask in order for him to understand fully.

“We should play the calculator game to see who gets one on one time first.” Seungkwan said excitedly.

“No, that makes my head hurt.” Minghao.

Seonghwa still didn’t know what the calculator game was - and didn’t know if he wanted to find out - although nothing could be worse than the shadow game… right.

“Wonwoo-hyung, let us use your calculator.”

“Last time you broke it.”

Should Seonghwa step in?

Hongjoong had stepped off to use the bathroom leaving Seonghwa alone with the small army.

“We should dance battle again.” Seokmin offered.

“If that’s how we’re going to do it then I’m participating.” Soonyoung stood up confidently and stretched like he was an old man.

“Nevermind.”

“Just play rock paper scissors.” Jeonghan cut in.

The boys argued amongst themselves for a few more minutes before deciding that rock paper scissors was the best course of action.

“What did I miss?” Hongjoong asked, sneaking his hand into Seonghwa’s.

“They are deciding the order of one one time.”

“Shouldn’t we decide who's taking who once they decide the order?”

“Just let them choose the order first.”

“Whatever you say darling.”

Soon enough the order was decided after the most dramatic rock paper scissors the couple had ever seen. Honestly they thought their kids were dramatic but the Choi’s were just … a different planet…

“I’m going to go get drinks.” Hongjoong leaned in to kiss his mate’s cheek. “Drinks?”

“Juice or something.”

“Get the sugar free ones.”

Hongjoong just stared at his mate, “As much as I love you, and gladly do whatever you ask. I will just get the organic ones with sugar.”

“Ok.” Seonghwa knew the amount of sugar in most juices was ridiculous but at least the drinks would be organic.

Hongjoong left as silently as he could but obviously the door was right next to the couch so everyone saw.

“Where is he going?” Mingyu asked.

“He’s going to get some juice.”

“Juice.” Jun said, stunned.

“Juice!” Seokmin exclaimed.

“Really?” Jisoo questioned.

“I haven’t had juice in - well that one time at school.” Minghao said

Seonhwa sighed, he seemed to be doing that a lot recently. The Choi’s budget was so strict that they only ever drank water - they ate just rice and eggs for most meals - and they ate slivers of meat maybe once a week. They weren’t starved or malnourished - they just weren’t well fed. There were no seconds because it would just be too expensive. There were no treats, there was just rice and eggs.

“Well then I’m sure you’ll enjoy the juice.” Seonghwa just smiled. The kids were happy right now, they were beyond grateful and mostly they were excited. Who was Seonghwa to even think of voicing his thoughts?

 

<>

 

Seriously this was too much for Jun.

Not mentally - he was in an amazing spot mentally - but literally. He felt as if he had never seen this much food ever in his whole life.

Maybe when he was a young child with his mother back in China but he doubted it as they had been pretty poor then as well. His mother had died because the doctors wouldn’t see a ‘whore like her’ Who were they to judge?

Honestly Jun still didn’t know what his mother had done for a living - but over the years he had slowly put two and two together and realized that his mother was probably working as a prostitute and had died from some kind of SDT. Not that Jun knew for sure but looking back he had seen the signs, he just couldn’t do anything.

He had been Hansol’s age when his mother died. And Seungkwan and Minghao’s age when he was adopted. It was so weird to think that once his birthday hit he would have spent more time in Korea than his home country. It was weird that the kids never made fun of him for being foreign because he didn’t look Chinese - yet they made fun of Minghao because he did and Hansol had recently started saying some concerning things that led Jun to believe that people were making fun of him too even though he was literally Korean.

Jun hated all of that - but that was a completely separate rant that had nothing to do with the food that was in front of him. Food so good that he had literally forgotten about the diet the photoshoot director had put on him. Only Jun didn’t feel sorry because of just how delicious the chicken was. And the juice - the director had forbidden him from eating anything with artificial sweeteners or excess sugar.

Jun drank multiple glasses. He just ate. He ate like he felt he needed to - like he had always wanted to but had never done so because there was never enough to go around like that. But the Kims had bought so much chicken. Jun didn’t even want to imagine the cost.

“Jun-hyung, that's like your eight piece.”

“Oh - uh do you want it instead?”

“No, go ahead and eat it.” Wonwoo said.

Soonyoung slapped him on the back, “This is amazing, I never knew you could eat like this.” Jun laughed, “Here have some more.” Soonyoung shoved another piece of chicken in Jun’s hands.

He really wasn’t hungry anymore.

He was actually full - yet why not eat another piece? Jun ate another piece - that was the last piece though.

He carefully examined all of his brothers. They seemed to be enjoying themselves and not even thinking about school the next day. It was the last day anyway and nothing important happened unless you were graduating.

Jeonghan was lazily lying on the ground Chan was trying to play with him and get Jeonghan to pick him up but that simple wasn’t happening. Mingyu was trying to help Mr. Kim throw away the food containers while Mr. Kim was trying to get Mingyu to sit back down. Soonyoung and Jisoo were arm wrestling for whatever reason. Seokmin was having a shot contest (with juice - obviously not alcohol) with Wonwoo. Seungkwan and Hansol were playing a card game with the other Mr. Kim.

“Are you full hyung?” It was Minghoa - he probably had just come back from the restroom.

“Yeah - are you?”

Minghao nodded, “Look at my stomach hyung.” Minghau proudly showed off his stomach, it was noticeably bigger than normal. He patted his stomach. Jun laughed at his brother’s antics.

“Wow.”

“It’s so big.” Minghao was so happy, “Now they can’t tell me to eat more.”

“That’s right.” Jun just smiled. He knew who Minghao was talking about. Some of the kids called him derogatory terms and not just racist ones, but also things like skeleton and stick figure.

“Come play with us.” Minghao grabbed Jun’s hand. “What are you playing?”

“Uno with Kwannie, Sollie and Mr. Kim.”

“Ok.” Jun let himself be dragged to the small circle, he was handed a pile of cards, he played the game. It was fun. The entire night, and honestly it was nice to - very nice.

His brothers were at ease after the tenseness of the filming. Jisoo looked completely at ease as he play wrestled with Soonyoung - honestly Jun hadn’t seen that Jisoo in several weeks so he was glad to see that.

He checked what Mr. Kim (The omega … the pretty one - no that didn’t work because they were both pretty but just calling him omega was derogatory - the taller one? That worked) was doing. He was in the kitchen, cleaning glasses and gathering all the garbage. He looked at ease too. For the entire time Jun had observed him the tall omega had seemed stressed and tense, but he seemed much more relaxed now, the other Mr. Kim too. He was good with the younger ones.

“Annyeong Ku-le-o-pa-teu-ra Sesang-eso Je-il Ga-neun Pote-ito Chip.”

“Annyeong Ku-le-o-pa-teu-ra Sesang-eso Je-il Ga-neun Pote-ito Chip.”

Who gave Soonyoung that idea? He was competing with Jihoon and Jeonghan - Seokmin was just - harmonizing? Honesty Jun didn’t know what Minnie was doing half the time - he decided not to judge though.

“Annyeong Ku-le-o-pa-teu-ra Sesang-eso Je-il Ga-neun Pote-ito Chip.”

“AHHHHHHHH”

“That’s not a note Hyung.”

“Annyeong Ku-le-o-pa-teu-ra Sesang-eso Je-il Ga-neun Pote-ito Chip.”

Jun watched the shorter Mr. Kim carefully, ready to intercede for his brothers at any second.

“I want to play too!”

“Kwannie finish the game first.”

“But that game is so much funner!”

“Annyeong Ku-le-o-pa-teu-ra Sesang-eso Je-il Ga-neun Pote-ito Chip.”

“That was the same pitch as Jeonghan-hyung.”

“Just give up Soonie - you can’t beat me, I'm unbeatable.” Jeonghan teased.

Soonyoung kept going.

“You're just screaming at this point.”

 

“I’m winning.”

Jun just laughed.

“Uno.” Of course Hansol was still playing the game.

Jun finished the game - Hansol did win. The shorter Mr. Kim helped clean the game up just as the Cleopatra game was coming to an end. At some point Soonyoung had in fact admitted defeat. It was just Jihoon and Jeonghan.

“Ok this isn’t fair. I’m going through puberty you aren’t.”

“No excuses Hyung.”

“Fine you win - I’m tired anyway.”

“No - you can’t just do that.”

“Do you want a draw then?”

“No, I want to win.”

“Well it’s either a draw or you lose.”

“Why would I lose? You’re the one refusing to keep going.”

“Jihoon there’s no point arguing with Hannie.” Jisoo said Chan was sitting on his shoulders for some reason.

“I know but-”

“So you do admit defeat.”

“I didn’t say that-”

“You sort of did.”

“No I-”

“Ok boys, I think it’s time for bed.” It was the shorter Mr. Kim.

“But I’m not tired.” Seungkwan whined.

“You might not be tired now but you’ll be really tired in the morning if you don’t go to sleep.” The taller Mr. Kim said - he still had rubber cleaning gloves and a slightly wet apron on.

“Fine.” Seungkwan groaned.”

“We never finished the game though-”

“We did. I won, remember?”

“Hyung!”

Jeonghan just laughed and walked to his room, Jisoo not too far behind.

“Mingyu come on, you need to go to bed.” Jun gestured Mingyu to his room.

“Good night Hyung. I love you.” Mingyu hugged Jun, it was something he did often but it filled Jun with so much joy every time anyway. Jun still remembered when Mingyu was just two when Jun came. Mingyu was the first to call him just Hyung. He called him Hyung before Jun even understood what he was saying. So Jun cherished him dearly.

“Minnie stop doing handstands - Soonyoung-hyung you can’t encourage him.” Jun walked over to the two and pulled Seokmin off the ground. “Bed.”

“I’m not tired though.”

“Did you not hear what Mr. Kim said?”

“I did but - but Hyung was doing it.” Jun just looked at Soonyoung. He loved his older brother dearly but sometimes he acted like he was the youngest.

“Minnie, do we ever do what Soonyoung does just because?”

“I just did.”

“I’m an amazing example Junnie.”

“Seokmin your brother is right you need to go to bed.”

“Fine.”

How had Mr. Kim just done that?

Was it his voice or his mannerisms?

It was kind of strange but Jun understood it to a certain extent. Mr. Kim just had the sort of presence that made you want to do exactly as he said, like it just seemed like the obvious thing to do.

 

 

Jun trudged past the bus stop and into the photography studio. He had thought about his options as best as he could. He knew that acting could pay well, but the time commitment was huge and he had responsibilities at home. He didn’t want to not be able to see his brothers, plus he hadn’t been able to talk to Appa about it, not that he needed to talk to him to know that he would have been against it.

Jun walked the halls with as much confidence as he could muster, ignoring most of the people. There was a rumor that he couldn’t actually speak Korean, it was false, but Jun didn’t mind encouraging it. It meant he didn’t have to talk to people and those that he did talk to assumed he was dumb and barely understood anything.

Jun knocked on the office door. He hated the office. It was cold, dark and uninviting but the director would want the news given in person.

“Come in.”

Jun opened the door, shutting the door as soon as he got in.

“Ah Jun-ah. Do you have an answer for me?” The director sat at his mahogany desk. It took up most of the room and was probably a knock off of a good quality desk whose only function was to attempt to make the director look affluent and successful when in actuality most of his models were underage.

“I do.” Jun stood in front of the desk, his hands clasped tightly behind him, his eyes staring at the nameplate on the desk and not the face of the man he had worked for for almost three years.

“I don’t want to do the show.”

“I’m sorry I think I must have heard you wrong, or maybe you didn’t understand the question - I can repeat it.”

“You don’t need to. I don’t want to, and my Appa wouldn’t want me to either.”

The director stood from his desk, “Your appa is very selfish. He’s trying to hold you back and make you end up like him. Desperate and in debt.”

“My Appa isn’t in debt, he’s not selfish, I don’t want to be away from my family that much.”

The director sighed and walked to the front of his desk, his breath smelled. His breath always stunk of garlic and soju, an awful combination - worse than the spray bottle of cologne Soonyoung had that he claimed was ‘Tiger scented.’

“They aren’t even your real family. Surely they can’t mean that much to you.”

Why did people always assure adopted families couldn’t work yet still claimed to want orphaned children to be adopted.

Adopted families could work.

Jun was loved, cherished even.

He was loved just as much as he loved his brothers and Appa.

Seuncheol was his appa for all it was worth, Jun had never met his biological father, to his knowledge so Seungcheol was all he knew.

“They mean the world to me. I love them very much and I don’t want to be away from them any more than I already am.”

The man laughed, his breath stinking up the room, much to the chagrin of the tiny air freshener in the corner that wouldn’t be able to compete with the director.

“Opportunities like this don’t come around often for people like you.”

“That’s ok. You said I'm a good model, I’m perfectly satisfied with that.”

“Whatever you say. Just know you're making a terrible decision and your never going to be able to change it.”

“I know. I don’t regret my decisions.”

“Whatever you say boy. You can leave now.” Jun bowed slightly out of respect - not that he respected the director at all.

He left the building as quickly as he had come, and speed walked to the bus stop.

School was out finally, and although he would probably still work a few times a week he was free now.

The decision that had been hanging over his head was taken care of.

Appa would be proud of him. Cause at the end of the day that was all Jun wanted. He knew his Appa loved him, but he wanted to love his Appa to. He wanted to be able to provide and attempt to repay him for all he had done.

It was stupid.

Jun knew that.

But that would never stop him from trying his best.

 

<>

 

Wonwoo hadn’t known what to expect when Mr. Kim (The clean one .. not that the other one was dirty…) had spoken about cleaning and decluttering. He certainly hadn't expected to be staring at a pile of clothes on Jeonghan and Jisoo’s beds.

It was all the clothes that the four people that shared that room owned, as well as some of the younger ones that didn’t actually have a place but somehow made they to the room.

“Ok so we are going to go through each item and see if you want to keep it, or if you want to donate it or throw it out.”

“Throw it out?” Mingyu asked, panicked.

“We only throw out items that wouldn’t do anyone else good, items with large holes or stains for example are items we should throw out.”

“But what if we need the item?” Jisoo asked.

“Don’t worry about that part right now, just focus on the sorting.” Mr. Kim encouraged them to get started. The boys glanced at each other but eventually began sorting.

Wonwoo didn’t really get it until he began looking at everything he owned, or rather everything Soonyoun-hyung and owned and before him Jun-Hyung and before him Jisoo and Jeonghan-Hyung and then he looked at Mingyu’s pile. It was full of clothes that Wonwoo had worn and all his hyungs, but they had also been worn by Jihoon and Seokmin. All of his clothes had small holes in them by the seams. Wonwoo gave up on his pile and instead began looking closer at Mingyu’s.

“What are you doing Hyung?”

What was Wonwoo doing?

He was seeing if what he thought was right, and he was. Mingyu’s clothes seemed thinner even if the fabric was the same.

“Wonwoo- ah is something wrong?” Mr. Kim seemed genuinely concerned.

“I don’t think any of the clothes are worth saving.”

“What?” Jisoo-hyung was clearly confused. Wonwoo glanced at his and Jeonghan-hyung’s pile; that pile wasn’t new either. Every single piece of clothing had been bought second hand at large thrift store sales. Who knew how many people had owned those clothes before.

“There’s holes in everything.”

“Wonwoo-ah, no there isn’t.” Jeonghan reasoned.

“Hyung - why do people think he looks like we live under a bridge?”

“Wonwoo-ah that was one time.”

“You’re right another time they thought we were just homeless. It’s because we look like we are.”

The twins looked at each other. Mr. Kim looked lost for words.

“But we aren’t homeless, Hyung. Why does it matter what other people say?” It was always Mingyu. He was so hopelessly positive even when it didn’t make any sense to be.

“Wonwoo-ah you don’t have to go through anything, we can just fold everything and put it back.”

“No - it’s your rule change. You said not to worry about it, does that mean you were planning on buying us all new clothing?”

The four boys looked curiously at Mr. Kim because surely that hadn’t been his plan even if it was the only one that made sense because it would cost a fortune even if everything Mr. Kim bought it second hand.

“I was planning on buying all of you some things but I wasn’t - I couldn’t just buy you all a new wardrobe.”

The boys were honestly speechless - that would still cost a fortune.

“You don’t have to.”

“We aren’t a charity case.”

“Do you really have that much money?”

Wonwoo just watched as his siblings berated Mr. Kim with questions. “I know I know. I know we haven’t known each other for long - but I do care for you all and I want to do all I can for you. I know it’s so superficial but clothing really can help you.”

“Yeah - when you look like you came back from dumpster diving people tend to treat you like trash, but when you look like you came from shopping at Gucci people treat you like a 13 carat diamond.” Why did Jeonghan-hyung just spit the truth out like that? It was ironic really, Jeonghan-hyung was so good at lying, yet he could recognize the truth almost instantly.

“I don’t think any of you look like-”

“I didn’t say that Mr. Kim. Honestly I’ve always wanted new clothes but it was never a possibility so thanks.”

Was Jeonghan-hyung actually thanking someone for giving him help…?

“Honestly Mr. Kim I think most of Jeonghan and I’s clothing is fine, as it’s the newest, but honestly any of probably Wonwoo’s clothing and down could probably all be replaced, but I know you don’t have the money for that.” Jisoo was playing mediator. “Soonyoung-hyung is very rough on his clothing.”

It was true, almost all of Soonyoung’s pants had holes and rips in them that weren’t originally supposed to be there.

Mr. Kim looked like he didn’t know how to react to that. “Well ok, I can see what I can do but-”

“Mr. Kim you don’t have to do anything about it.”

“I want to though. I should be able to buy everyone a new pair of shoes and at least two other items.”

Wonwoo did quick math in his head that was at least 36 items.

Although it was pointless to buy Chan new shoes as he would grow out of them soon.

So why was Mr. Kim just going to just dump this kind of money on them?

“That’s too much.” Mingyu said.

“I want to do it, and I can.”

“Wow - Mr. Kim you must be really rich.”

Mr. Kim just laughed, “I’m really not.”

After that the brothers were able to get through all their clothing, only getting rid of the worst items.

Basically if the seems were literally coming undone the item was thrown out or if there was a stain that Mr. Kim deemed impossible to come out.

Eventually the four boys had filled up half a trash bag and gave the bag to their other brothers who were working on the same thing in their room. Mr. Kim then showed them the best way to fold the clothing they were keeping. The method saved space and was much more organized than just shoving everything in a drawer.

Pretty soon each boy’s drawer was organized along with the closet.

Wonwoo had never thought the room had ever been that organized, soon it was time to eat dinner - but much to Wonwoo’s shock he saw bags of groceries that hadn’t been put away, he instinctively went to help.

“No, just enjoy the dinner.” Mr. Kim waved him off, he was seriously going to do everything himself - interesting.

Dinner for the night was hot Doenjang jjigae that made Wonwoo’s glasses fog up, Hotteok that was so good Wonwoo thought for sure he was in a fancy restaurant and not sitting on the floor in the kitchen. There was also the last of the store bought vegan kimchi, stir-fried zucchini and of course rice. It was a complete feast honestly. As a surprise Mr. Kim brought out an orange for everyone for dessert, it was almost better than the fried chicken.

“I’m going to do so good on the performance tomorrow because of all this food.” Right Soonyoung-hyung’s dance club was performing at the festival tomorrow. Wonwoo loved watching his brother perform, but he always hated the crowds. It was so easy to get lost - and the people - there were always too many people.

“I’m sure you will, Soonyoung-ah.” Mr. Kim encouraged.

“Just make sure not to eat those words though.” Jihoon said.

“If you fall Hyung I’m going to laugh.” Hansol said.

“Hey - I won’t fall.” Soonyoung exclaimed, “I have tiger reflexes I can’t fall I’m-”

“Soonyoung you're almost 16 you’re not a tiger.” Jeonghan said.

“Humans can’t be tigers, Hyung.” Minghao said.

“You don’t even look like a tiger, you look like a chipmunk.” Seungkwan shot in.

“Yeah you're too cute to be a tiger hyung.” Seokmin complimented - sort of.

“You guys are just jealous.”

Honestly Wonwoo didn’t know if Soonyoung actually believed he was a tiger or not - the court therapist had said it had been a coping mechanism created by a young Soonyoung but that he would grow out of it. He never had though. The court therapist had told Wonwoo that he had developed compulsive studying as a coping mechanism - surely that was better than believing he was a tiger though?

On Saturday Mr Kim, the shorter one, took Seungkwan and Seokmin to Karaoke, the other Mr Kim stayed in the kitchen all day making the largest batch of kimchi Wonwoo had ever seen, but that didn’t stop him from having the boys that stayed at home from cleaning every spot in their bedrooms. From the top corners all the way down to the dusty baseboards, Wonwoo had literally never seen the room so clean. He hadn’t known it was possible for a bedroom to be so clean, somehow the room also seemed bigger - but maybe that was because there was no clutter anymore, everything was put away into a place.

Once Mr. Kim came back with Seungkwan and Seokmin everyone left for the festival armed with bags of snacks and water prepared by the other Mr. Kim. Soonyoung-hyung had left as soon as the sun rose to practice, Wonwoo was jealous that his brother had gotten out of cleaning because honestly he wasn’t Mingyu - he didn’t enjoy cleaning and was perfectly content with Mingyu doing it.

Wonwoo made sure to grasp Mingyu’s hand tightly as they all left. He and Mingyu were ‘buddies,’ it was something that they had just been doing since Mingyu had been born, it was why they shared a room with the twins. Wonwoo watched how the Kims directed all of them to the park. Mr. Kim, the shorter one, held a very authoritative tone, almost as if he was a captain of some ship, whereas the other Mr. Kim kept a close eye on everyone even though he was busy holding Chan. The two worked so well together - if Wonwoo was a romantic he’d call them fated pairs. Wonwoo wanted to meet the Kim’s kids just to see how kids would grow up that were raised in a normal environment.

After all, the Kims seemed perfect in every regard, almost unrealistically so. Wonwoo didn’t know if he admired that fact or was jealous.

Once at the festival they found saved seats in the third road. Mr. Kim passed out signs that he had made last night that all held encouraging messages for Soonyoung.

“You really made these?” Jun asked bewildered, “Of course, it’s what I do when my sons perform, they like it, I think.” Mr. Kim just laughed, he loved his children, that much was clear.

Why couldn’t he be given a mother that loved him enough to stay up late at night to make him signs? Why had his mother had to be someone that traumatized him and made him perpetually terrified of old men? And the worst thing - Wonwoo didn’t want to admit it or tell the others - but he had been reading about similar cases and trials, the perpetrators always got off early especially if they were good at manipulating. Wonwoo’s mother was a master manipulator.

She had tricked her husband into thinking that his kids were somehow just terrible children that needed harsh discipline and that nothing was wrong with them even when three of them ended up in the ER.

Wonwoo knew that his mother was going to get out early, she had been sentenced to 15 years, just ten years were left in her sentence. In 10 years only seven of them would be over twenty. Chan and Hansol would still be minors, and that was if she served the full sentence. She wouldn’t, in fact she’d probably get out before Wonwoo had even turned 18.

That was the whole reason behind Wonwoo’s push for academic excellence.

He was smart, he didn’t think that in a prideful sense but in a realistic sense, Wonwoo wanted to become a lawyer and push for harsher sentences for criminals like his mother, push for rejection of parole for offenders against children, especially when many of the victims were still minors.

That’s why Wonwoo wanted to graduate high school early, it gave him more opportunities, it gave him a few extra years, and if he failed the bar exam once or even twice he still wouldn’t be put at a major setback, everything was going to be ok.

Wonwoo just had to be ok, so he could try and make the world a more ok place.

The lights flashed on the stage, Soonyoung-hyung made his way to the center stage with the two other members in his dance club. They had been asked to perform a total of three songs - they didn’t disappoint - not that Soonyoung would have a performance that was anything less than perfect.

The first song was DNA by BTS. Every time Soonyoung danced Wonwoo knew he became almost a different person or maybe he was possessed - maybe it was the tiger that Soonyoung claimed he was but that was simply crazy, the second song was completely opposite of the first. Love me Like This by Nmixx.

Wonwoo assumed Soonyoung chose that song because Seungkwan loved Lily from Nmixx, he had a thing for singers or something.

The crowd laughed at the chorus but it wasn’t out of malice of hate, but out of enjoyment.

The last and final song was BSS’s Just Do It.

BSS made up of Boo Seungkwang, Lee Seomkim, and Kwon Soonyun, was Soonyoung’s favorite group - so of course they had to do one of their songs.

They had all the crowd involved - there was a reason why the club had been asked back for the fourth time for the end of school and start of school festivals. By the end the entire crowd was standing and cheering for the three of them.

Doyoung’s large extended family was seated right in front of the Choi’s and they were going crazy as normal.

Hyungwon’s dads were practically crying because of the performance while his brothers looked ready to tease him about the Love Me Like This performance.

Although the three families weren’t all that close they all knew that Soonyoung might not be here without them, the three of them were best friends that bonded over a love of dance. Wonwoo wished he could have a best friend - that wasn’t his brother - but also why desire anything more?

After all Mingyu was the perfect little brother, could Wonwoo really wish for more?

 

<>

 

Soonyoung knew he killed the performance, it was totally full of tiger spirit.

Soonyoung took pictures with anyone who wanted.

The Kims, well mainly the omegan one - there had to be a better adjective - had taken probably fifty pictures.

“It’s for your Appa, he’ll love it.”

Soonyoung didn’t mind. He took pictures with Doyoung and Hyungwon and their families and then he socialized. He practically had fans.

He smiled widely and talked to any and everyone even an older gentleman that wore a floral patterned suit - wide black sunglasses - and a sunhat who gave him a card - a business card.

Wait, that wasn’t any random old man.

Was Soonyoung blind?

Did tigers have good eyesight?

He looked at the business card - he thought he might faint.

It couldn’t be.

It truly couldn’t.

This wasn’t real.

He had to be dreaming.

Except of course this would happen to him, as was already previously established Soonyoung killed it with a flawless performance, of course this was happening.

 

The renowned, famous and best CEO, Pi Cheolin had given him a business card from BOMG entertainment, he wanted Soonyoung to audition for the company whenever he wanted.

Chapter Text

Chan paced back and forth in the Kims’ bedroom, he had been up all night trying to figure out what exactly he could even say for the rule change - what rules were there to change? Chan really didn’t know better. He wasn’t a better parent - he wasn’t a bad parent - maybe he was. Chan sighed and checked the time.

3:40 am.

Seriously, insomnia sucked.

Even if Chan wanted to sleep and wake up refreshed he couldn’t. He hadn’t slept peacefully since - When was the last time?

Australia?

When Chan was newly married, and pregnant with Minho, Jinwook had taken him back to Australia to meet his parents. The time had been almost healing - a paradise on earth - a stark difference to the hell on earth that would follow.

Chan missed that paradise.

That had been the last time he had seen his mother, father, Hannah and Lucas.

Hannah had mailed him a copy of her very first album several years ago but Jinwook had forbidden him from talking to anyone from his past. Lucas was 23 now - he was doing something in school - Chan didn’t know. And his parents - would they ever forgive him for cutting off contact for 14 years?

Chan had thought of moving back to Australia but he figured the kids were in a somewhat stable spot here. They didn’t speak English, there would be no point in moving across the world. Chan threw himself on the bed.

He was getting nowhere, the filming would happen in just a few hours and Chan really couldn’t just say, “So Seonghwa you’re perfect even if some parents think the opposite - they’re just jealous. You’re kids are amazing and way too conscientious for their own good. And Hongjoong - honestly you work less than I do so I can’t even say anything against how much you work.”

Deep down Chan knew that Seonghwa and Hongjoong were human - they weren’t perfect. He knew Seonghwa clearly struggled with a need for order and organization and had some issues from the past probably relating to self esteem and eating. He knew Hongjoong was a perfectionist workaholic but Chan was too. Maybe seeing how Hongjoong lived made Chan realize that more but when Hongjoong worked Seonghwa was with the kids - they balanced their lives together. Chan didn’t have that - he wasn’t ever going to try again to find love - what he had wasn’t love - it wasn’t.

Chan rolled to his other side, there really was no use in even trying - whatever he said tomorrow would be what was said. The only thing Chan could think of was being more relaxed - but that would mean that he would have to be relaxed to, he couldn’t work because he needed to watch the kids, but he refused to follow Seonghwa’s a thousand step cleaning routine.

He didn’t see the need in the kids being so concerned with making messes - they were kids, not even teenagers - of course they made messes, it was natural. And the apologizing after staining clothes. When Chan was a child his mother might have been a little annoyed but she told him that all it meant was that he had played hard and done a good job.

Life was messy - kids couldn’t be told that everything could always be clean and expect them to be - yes that was good - Chan could say that. He felt bad already though. What would the parent’s think of the rule change?

And on a completely different thought, what was the rule change like for his kids?

Who was the mysterious other set of parents or was it another single parent? Chan doubted it, maybe it was several mates from a pack.

A pack was more likely to have multiple kids anyway. Although it was also dubious that a pack would be on the show as there was a spinoff of Parent Swap called Pack swap which swapped the Pack Alpha, Pack Omega and Pack Beta for another pack’s leaders.

Chan had never seen the show because the last time Chan had sat down to watch tv had been … a long time ago… Oh that was another thought, they could eat in the living room at the coffee table, Seonghwa would probably faint if he knew, but wasn’t that the point of the rule change.

 

---

 

Chan stood nervously in the living room with the six boys sitting on the couch in front of him. The directors had been very happy while setting up, Chan had heard comments like, “I can actually move around in here.” and “It’s so open and bright - the last place felt like a tomb.” What was the other place like?

Or were they talking about Chan’s place?

“ACTION.”

“I just wanted to say a few things to you all. Firstly you have been very inviting and polite, I’m sure your parents would be very pleased with how you all behave yourselves. You are very considerate of others and kind. I usually work more than your appa for six days out of the week, I obviously cannot replicate that here so I’d like to instead take a more laid back approach, one that we can all enjoy.”

Chan took a deep breath and looked down to the ground before looking back to the kids. The director and cameramen were behind the couch - this was so awkward.

“There are a lot of rules in this house, and I’m not sure if you all even realize it, which is why for the next week I want you to have more freedom. Since the summer has started I honestly just want you guys to enjoy the summer, so if you guys want to go out just tell me and we’ll go or if you want to stay here just tell me. If guys want something to eat specifically just tell me and I’ll do my best.” The boys just stared at Chan.

“Anything we want?” Wooyoung tested.

“Within reason. I’m not going to let you all eat ice cream all day but if you want some ice cream I’ll go get some.”

Seriously?” San asked.

“Yes. Also you all are very concerned with messes, but life is messy - if you make a mess don’t feel you need to apologize if you were just playing, just clean up after yourself or come get me and I’ll help you.” The boys seemed to be having a hard time comprehending that.

“Oh and one more thing. We will no longer be eating in the dining room. We will be eating either at the kitchen island or right here in the living room.”

“Eomma doesn’t let us eat on the couch.” Mingi said.

“I know, but a house is meant to be lived in. The living room is meant to be where most of the living is taking place.”

“But isn’t dining supposed to be happening in the dining room?” Yeosang said - Chan didn’t really have a response to that.

“Eating is part of living so it can take place in the living room.” What was that Christopher? That was literally the dumbest response ever, yet it seemed to make sense to Yeosang.

“CUT!”

“Can we really have ice cream like right now?” Wooyoung asked.

“If you want ice cream we can go get some really soon.” Chan walked over to the sound man to let him take his mic off and then receive his wallet. He had handed over Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s wallets Wednesday night and had been using a small allowance the director had given him.

The director and crew left quickly but not before Chan heard them, “I need to find a better editor for this to actually work. I thought the casting was good this time - but no - seriously the next guy better have something.”

Had Chan heard that right? The director was complaining about the lack of drama which was completely reasonable but he had said, “Guy.” Did that mean that there was another single parent?

“Eomma-Chan can we go get ice cream now?” Wooyoung was jumping up and down in excitement, San right by his side. “Yes, let’s go.”

Chan got them all to the car, and drove them to the nearest ice cream parlor. It was enjoyable, the kids were grateful - so polite. Seriously, why were they being accused of being cursed by the kids in their class? Why did the older boys hate going to the park but the younger ones loved it?

Chan originally assumed this was because Yunho and Yeosang just preferred the indoors, but Yunho loved playing with his brothers in the back, and Yeosang liked the sunshine. It was the people then - Chan was sure of that.

He might not be the most astute person in the world but he had dealt with children for fourteen years - he knew how they were so good at changing subjects and hiding true intentions but nine times out of ten they would reveal themselves in a different way - not tha Chan was a psychologist but was rather in need of one.

Once the ice cream was eaten they went back home, Chan sat down - he felt so tired - the couch was comfortable - the kids were playing with some toys in the corner or were watching the tv. Chan just sat still and watched the boys, they didn’t fight as much as his boys did but they still teased each other - particularly Jongho.

The three year old loved wrestling for whatever reason - obviously his brothers let him win but would never tell him that.

Chan really was tired? Had he slept last night? That was a dumb question - obviously no. Honestly he had been sleeping less and less during his time at the house. He attributed it to the unknown environment but he had been here for two weeks, he should be used to it by now. So why was he so tired?

 

<>

 

Mr. Chan was sleeping. Yunho knew never to wake up an adult unless there was an emergency. It wasn’t an emergency his brothers were just hungry - so maybe it was an emergency. But Yunho was almost a teenager - he knew how to cook - sort of - he could make ramen and heat up food in the microwave which is exactly what he did.

“Hyung, you need to work on your cooking skills.” Wooyoung said as he laughed obnoxiously. “Wooyoung you need to keep it down, Mr. Chan is sleeping.”

“That’s no fun though-”

“Wooyoung let's go play outside.” San came to Yuhno’s rescue. Wooyoung agreed dragging Yeosang outside too. Jongho was still playing with his blocks in the living room in complete silence. “Hyung, can I have some more ramen?” “Yeah - no problem.” Yuhno filled up Mingi’s bowl with the last bit of ramen - it meant that Yuhno would have to make another batch if he wanted to eat but it wasn’t an issue.

“Thanks Hyung.” Mingi slurped loudly.

“Are you glad school is out?”

“Duh - school sucks - I’m so glad summer is so long.” Mingi just kept slurping his ramen, Yunho smiled at his brother’s actions, but frowned inwardly. Was Mingi really already having enough trouble with school to be dreading going back? Next year would be Yuhno’s last year in elementary school and then he’d move on to Junior high - he’d be in a completely different school and wouldn’t be able to look after his siblings.

He wouldn’t be able to go to the first grade lunch table to eat lunch with Mingi so that he wouldn’t be lonely. He wouldn’t be able to confront Yeosang’s bullies on the playground - and by the time he left Wooyoung would be in elementary school - just another one of his brothers he wouldn’t be able to protect.

Maybe he could fail sixth grade so that he’d repeat the grade and be able to stay in elementary school? Eomma and Appa would hate that idea though. Although his parents encouraged everyone to do well in school they didn’t get upset if you got a bad grade as long as you promised it was your best. Eomma and Appa knew his best wasn’t failing an entire grade though. Yuhno would have to think of a different solution.

As he thought of different possibilities he got out another ramen packet for himself and began boiling water. He glanced over his shoulder to look at the couch. It appeared Mr. Chan hadn’t moved at all - he was still sleeping.

Eomma said that adults like naps - Yuhno didn’t know that was possible but it appeared that Mr. Chan liked naps. Or maybe he was really tired like Yuhno was when he stayed up too late - not that he would ever do that … Yunho watched the water boil and thought about Mr. Chan. He was hurt - on the inside - Yunho knew that had to be true.

Uncle Bumjoong talked about his work as a therapist often - Yuhno always listened intently. Maybe Mr. Chan needed someone like Uncle Bumjoong? Could Yunho be that person? No - he was just a kid - he couldn’t solve adult problems.

He could only solve kid problems like the bullies at school or the bullies’ parents saying bad things. Yeosang had told him what had happened - only because Yunho insisted. Yunho ended up googling what the words that the bullies had called their parents meant - honestly he didn’t fully get it - but he was sure that it was awful.

Unfortunately school was out so Yunho couldn’t do anything and the things that Yunho would want to do would make Eomma and Appa upset. Well Eomma at least - Appa might approve honestly, but violence wasn’t supposed to be the answer.

Yuhno put the ramen in the boiling water and went to the refrigerator to get a slice of cheese - he liked cheesy ramen. Yuhno calmly finished his ramen and went to sit at the dining table but stopped himself - he was supposed to sit at the coffee table in the living room. As much as it pained him, he did so. He sat down and almost sat his bowl down, but he couldn’t do it. He grabbed a coaster and put it under the bowl, and then grabbed a small towel to put on his lap.

Was this normal?

Yunho didn’t care if it was or wasn’t, it was clean.

Maybe his mother’s thinking had begun to influence him as well. Just as Yunho was about to take his first bite he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see his youngest brother staring at him with his large brown eyes. “Yes.”

“I’m hungry.” Of course, just as Yunho sat down, he looked at the couch - Mr. Chan was still sleeping. He looked uncomfortable like he was having a bad dream - there was a slightly sour scent in the air - that was never good. “What do you want to eat?”

“Applesauce.”

“Ok, I’ll go get it.” Yunho got up and went back to the kitchen hoping his ramen wasn’t cold by the time he got back. He opened the fridge and took out an applesauce, opened the package and grabbed a small plastic spoon. He walked back to the living room and handed it to Jongho. “I want a big boy spoon.”

“You’re not old enough yet.”

“I’m three.” Jongho held up three fingers. “And I’m eleven. I don’t even have eleven fingers.” Jongho seemed shocked at this fact. Yunho just smiled and sat down, finally being able to eat the ramen.

“Why is Mr. Chan napping?” Jongho had sat next to him on the ground and was calmly eating his applesauce. “Because he’s probably tired.”

Yunho slurped his ramen - and then remembered he shouldn’t do that while someone was sleeping. “His rules are weird.” Yunho just shrugged, “It could be worse.”

“I want to go to the park, I’m going to wake him up.” Jongho left his applesauce on the floor and began waddling over. Yunho grabbed him before he could. “Hyung!”

“Jongho just let him sleep.” “

He said to come to him whenever we wanted something.”

“Eat your applesauce.”

“I’m full.”

Yunho looked at the applesauce packet, “You ate like two bites.” “I’m full.” Jongho skipped off. Yunho just sighed and picked up the applesauce, putting the smaller spoon in the sink and grabbing a larger spoon to finish the applesauce himself before going back to his ramen for the fiftieth time.

“HYUNG!” That finally got Mr. Chan awake. He startled and jolted awake sharply.

“What happened, is everyone alright?” Mr. Chan looked almost scared. That was interesting - was he scared of the shouting or the dream? Or was it maybe suddenly being awake, Yunho would have to think more about that. Wooyoung ran into the living room, he was followed by San, Mingi and Yeosang. Jongho was there too but by the look on his face he had secretly orchestrated the whole thing.

“Can we go to the park?”

“So everyone’s fine?” Mr. Chan didn’t seem fully awake and still a bit confused. “Yeah - we’re great.” San said.

“But we’d be better if we could go to the park.” Wooyoung finished.

Yunho really hated the park, but Mr. Chan had promised so they went. Yunho didn’t actually hate the park, he enjoyed playing and liked throwing a frisbee around or flying kites in the grass. He even liked the swings although he normally ended up pushing one of his brothers on them. He hated the people though. Not that he hated people - he wasn’t Yeosang. Not that Yeosang hated everyone, most people just made him uncomfortable…

The people that Yunho disliked were the kids that were often at the park and their parents, which did nothing to stop the behavior and probably encouraged it. Uncle had called it “Enabling.” Yunho had always done his best to mind his own business, he did his best to be respectful and kind to everyone, but there were some that he couldn’t bring himself to be polite and kind to, the kids at the park.

Kwang and Dong-min, Yeosang’s bullies, when Yunho saw them he didn’t think he could control himself. The two were just there - playing on the monkey bars, Yunho shouldn’t do anything, he shouldn’t. But he couldn't help himself.

“Hey you two!” Yes, very intimidating. The two boys turned their heads, “What are you doing here?”

The two jumped down from the bars and tried to make themselves tall and intimidating. Yunho distantly recognized San coming up behind him and grabbing onto his leg. “It’s a park - don’t make trouble.”

Yunho tried to sound brave and in control of the situation. “You’re the one that came up to us. You’re the problem.” Dong-min retorted sarcastically.

Yuhno balled his hands into a fist, “Let’s just go somewhere else hyung.” San said, from behind Yunho’s leg.

“Oh is little Sannie hiding.” Kwang mocked.

“You can’t call him that.” Sannie was the nickname San’s family called him - his friends probably called him that too - did San have friends?

“Should we call him Pildeu instead?” Pildeu? Why were they calling San a field? San just gripped Yunho’s leg tighter - were they seriously calling San and Yeosang names?

Why hadn’t San said anything?

“Hyung-” San pleaded, there were clearly tears threatening to come out.

“Don’t cry Pildeu -”

“Don’t call him that.” Yunho moved to try and tackle Dong-min to the ground but was grabbed from behind by someone much stronger than him.

“Yunho-ah we should go.” It was Mr. Chan.

“Who are you?” Kwang asked, Mr. Chan never answered that - he was too busy holding Yunho back. He really wanted to punch them in the face. Uncle had taught him some basic moves and Yunho wanted to try them all out. Mr. Chan had to practically drag him back to the car while San followed looking pitiful.

“We are going to talk about this when we get home ok?” It was exactly what Eomma or Appa would have said.

Yunho just nodded, somehow Mr. Chan managed to get the others in the car even though they had only been at the park for less than ten minutes. The car ride back home was silent - everyone seemed to get that something had happened even if not everyone saw it. Yunho absently took Mingi’s hands into his own the second the younger had started picking at the scabs on his fingers.

Once back home the boys walked slowly inside - the day seemingly ruined. “Yunho can I talk to you in the room?”

Was this going to be an Appa conversation or an Eomma conversation? Yunho didn’t answer but he went upstairs and waited on the bed. He assumed that Mr. Chan was dealing with his brothers - making sure it would be good and safe to leave them alone for a few minutes. Mr. Chan slowly came into the room, shutting the door silently behind him.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” It was a question, not a command meaning this was more like an Eomma conversation.

“Those boys make fun of Yeosang all the time - I think they are making fun of San too.”

The omega just sighed and sat down next to Yunho.

“It’s hard seeing people hurt the ones we love and we can’t do anything about it.”

“But I was so close-”

“It’s not right to do it that way though.” Yuhno stared at his lap, “What’s the right way?” Mr. Chan paused for a brief second before answering the question.

“Going through the proper authorities, you should tell your parents. Yeosang and San should tell them as well.”

“We have - they do their best but - people just don’t like us. They think we’re weird or something. They make fun of us and call us demon spawns. They call Eomma and Appa names.”

Chan put his hand on Yunho’s shoulder, “It’s not easy - it’s so hard - but sometimes there’s nothing we can do in the moment, sometimes we have to run away.”

“But why - why shouldn’t we fight?”

“Sometimes we should, when you are in danger - but in this case you should have just told me you saw them, we could have left.”

“Why should we bow to their will though? Why should we leave - they should leave.” Mr. Chan sighed, “There’s no good answer, I’m sorry I don’t have a better one, to tell you the truth I’m a bit of a coward, it took me a long time before I was willing to even think of fighting.”

Yunho looked up - Mr. Chan looked so sad. What was making him like this? “What were you fighting?”

Mr. Chan sat straight up, looking right in front of him at the blank wall. “My mate - he was a very bad man. I stayed with him because I was scared to leave. If I had fought back sooner a lot of things could have been avoided, but what’s done is done.” Mr. Chan stood up, “Come here, let me give you a hug - they make everything better.”

Yunho stood, Mr. Chan gave amazing hugs. But as the hug ended and the two left the room Yunho thought about what he had learned. It was Mr. Chan’s ex mate - he must be the source of all the omega’s sadness and pain - or was it something else? Could Mr. Chan be the source of his own pain?

“Mr. Chan.”

“Yes Yunho-ah.” The two were in the hallway at the top of the stairs about to go down, “I don’t think you’re a coward.”

Yunho watched as an almost bright light flashed in Mr. Chan’s face right before it fell again. He didn't believe what Yunho had just said - or he believed it for a second and then convinced himself that it was false.

“Thanks Yunho-ah, let’s get back to your brothers now.”

 

<>

 

San honestly didn’t like sleeping by himself, tonight he and Wooyoung were sleeping in the same bed but he was debating whether he should sneak into Yunho-hyung’s room. After all Yunho-hyung didn’t kick in his sleep and was very easy to talk to.

San could also go to Eomma Chan’s room - maybe he was crying again and needed some help. Only San didn’t understand what had made Eomma Chan cry in the first place, he appeared to be reading Eomma’s book but as far as San knew the book wasn’t sad at all. So why had he been crying?

Wooyoung moved in his sleep again - almost pushing San off the bed. San resisted, but barely.

He was so weak.

He wasn’t a mountain like his name claimed - he was a pildeu like the kids at school called him. He was a small flat field that was weak and insignificant.

San rolled to his other side - maybe tomorrow would be better.

 

---

 

San loved dance class, he had a very good teacher - he got to be in the center a lot because he practiced hard and always did his best like his parents told him to do.

“You just have to be the best you can be, you don’t have to be the best overall. You will always be number one in our hearts.”

Some of the other kids didn’t like him though because the teacher used him as an example and he always smiled and had energy.

San always tried to “bring the sunshine with him” Meaning he wanted to brighten people’s days when there was nothing or no one to do it for them.

Why would that make someone dislike another?

It didn’t make sense to San but he seemed to be left out of all the conversations that occurred during break.

San was waiting until Wooyoung joined so he could talk to him but when Wooyoung joined he’d be in a different class because he was a few years younger. San had asked the teacher if he could move to the older kid class so he could be with Yunho and Yeosang but he wouldn’t be able to until his next birthday.

So instead San just sat by himself. He didn’t mind being by himself - but it was a little sad and lonely. San wasn’t Yunho or Wooyoung - he couldn’t just talk to whoever he met, he was far too shy to do that. He didn’t mind silence so he just tried to enjoy it, but the silence just made him think of his parents who were missing.

Eomma-Chan was very nice, and he let them eat ice cream whenever they wanted and also they could eat whenever they wanted - there were no food restrictions which was super cool, but he also just seemed - empty…

It was the same feeling San felt sometimes when he’d be left alone at recess or at dance practice - he wanted something he couldn’t have. He desired something strongly but it was impossible to obtain it. San knew that for him that thing was connection - a personal bond with someone, but what was it for Eomma Chan? San had overheard Yunho-hyung talking to Mingi about it.

Something about an ex mate.

San hadn’t been trying to eavesdrop so he hadn’t paid too much attention to the conversation, but now he wished he had. Eomma Chan was the kind of person you wanted to see happy and successful. San wanted to be happy and successful but he thought that perhaps he might just end up like Eomma Chan.

“Ok everyone, break is over, back to your places please.”

Well the break was over meaning those thoughts were over, it was time to focus on the teacher and the dance - nothing else could be important in the moment. Dance could be the outlet to get any unsaid thoughts or feelings out into the world through a single expression. It was truly an amazing artform. San was sure he’d be doing this for years to come, even if he never did find out what was wrong with Eomma Chan.

 

<>

 

As Chan lay awake that night he thought about what exactly was happening.

Was what Yunho said correct? Was Chan a coward like he believed or was Yunho right?

Even though many adults believed that they often knew better than children and that was still true to a certain extent Chan had learned that the way children viewed the world was different than the way adults did - at least it should be different.

Children typically viewed the world through more wonder and a thirst for adventure and adults clung to any inkling of happiness they might have in their lives.

Yunho could see straight through Chan. It was unnerving but maybe it was necessary. Chan knew he wasn’t great mentally. He knew he hated himself - he also knew that his kids didn’t know that.

He knew his kids thought he had overcome many struggles and was an example on how to live, Chan knew that he was simply the biggest hypocrite to ever exist.

It was like claiming he could eat spicy ramen and doing so but immediately after plunging himself in an ice bath.

Did his kids need to know he was struggling?

Would that even do anything?

He had tried a brief stint of therapy following Jinwook’s arrest; it had been court mandated to see if he was a fit parent. If Chan had failed the evaluation his kids would’ve been taken away from him and likely separated.

So Chan faked his way through the exam. He had learned to act like he was fine when he was a trainee, the psychologist just seemed pleased to give him a pass.

It had of course created a shorter sentence for Jinwook but hopefully he’d get at least the twelve years he was sentenced meaning nine more years were left. It wasn’t enough. But Chan knew he couldn’t do anything about it unless he wanted to bring more charges to court, he couldn’t do that to the kids.

They needed to move on. Actually move on - not just act like everything was fine, because it wasn’t.

Chan knew Minho was majorly depressed, Changbin was constantly hiding his true feelings behind a tough exterior, Hyunjin was massively insecure, Jisung was borderline suicidal, Yongbok - sweet Yongbok - he was probably the greatest actor of them all because Chan believed he really was fine which meant he probably wasn’t, Seungmin was searching for something - probably a parental figure - and Jeongin, well, he probably knew something was wrong but had no way of knowing.Jinwook had been taken into custody about a month after Jeongin’s birth.

Chan sighed and got out of the bed. He began pacing around.

Normally he’d start doing burpees. It was something he had been doing since he was a trainee. If he couldn’t sleep he forced himself to do burpees until he physically couldn’t do any more and ended up collapsing into a version of sleep.

It probably wasn’t healthy but at least it was sleep. Chan didn’t want to wake up the whole house so he just paced back and forth.

Maybe Yunho was right and Chan wasn’t a coward. He was a hypocrite sure but that was easier to fix - right?

Chapter Text

The filming was meant to be early, around 8 am. It was early in the sense that it was a Saturday and the boys didn’t wake up till 9 on Saturdays. Cheol had gotten up around 6:30 to get ready for the day and make breakfast for the boys.

He knew it was cheating to buy groceries last night with Chan’s card and not wait for his cash envelopes but he wanted the kids to have a good first impression with his cooking which wasn’t the best to begin with.

Cheol hadn’t had to cook for himself ever until his ex was suddenly in jail and there were eleven boys to feed and then twelve boys.

Seven was a walk in the park as far as Cheol was concerned but there were obviously separate struggles.

Cheol hoped the rule change would be beneficial for everyone. He hoped that he’d be able to be there for the boys while still holding to a realistic schedule because obviously Chan wouldn’t be able to be there all the time so Cheol wouldn't be able to do that either. He’d stick to his regular hours.

When he was at Chan’s work he’d be busy setting up a shelf he had bought so he could display Chan’s awards, and then he’d put the photos that the boys would take later in Chan’s studio. Surely he couldn’t complain about seeing pictures of his kids.

Maybe that could be a gentle reminder of why he was working, maybe he’d want to go home earlier.

Cheol was also actually doing his best to write a song.

It sucked - majorly - but Cheol was still proud of some of the lyrics he had come up with.

“Oh, day by day
When some things just won't go my way
It's blurry like a fog in the sky, but there are so many roads ahead
Even if the world spins the other way around
You and I are not losing our way
You and I will be walking straight
Let's go as one”

It had taken Cheol almost an entire week to just be happy with that chunk, but he thought the chunk of lyrics was good. Chan might even like it. Cheol wanted to finish the lyrics and bring them back home. The song or poem as it would turn out to be, was about his sons. His precious boys that he would give up everything for.

Some of them probably wouldn’t get it, maybe none of them would. Cheol just hoped that he could express how much he loved and cared for them all. He knew he had been absent but he had worked so hard to try and make up for it. It would never be possible but maybe - just maybe his kids would forgive him for not being there one day.

“What are you doing?” Cheol turned to see Minho behind him - clearly just having woken up.

“Making breakfast.” Cheol responded calmly. Minho came over and looked over Cheol’s shoulder.

“Kimchi fried rice?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm.” The noise sounded approving enough. Minho leaned against the fridge. “Are you going to be cooking the meals from now on?”

“I won’t be making lunch cause I’ll be at work, although I will make some kimbap for snacks during the day but lunch will probably be breakfast leftovers.”

“Leftovers?”

Cheol sighed, he knew the Bangs were in no financial crisis, he didn’t know if they used to be although it was likely given the state of the apartment. Cheol would do his best for there to be enough but feeding his family had been a struggle the past five years. He didn’t really want to show that on camera.

“Do you make this a lot?” Minho asked, he was still leaning on the fridge examining Cheol’s every move.

“How ‘bout you wait for the actual rule change for me to explain.”

Minho just shrugged, “When are the people coming?”

“8.”

Minho checked the time, “Aish - I’ll go get the others up and ready.” He left, probably going to do what he said needed to be done.

Cheol checked the time - it was about 7:15. The food was almost done, it should taste at least half good - although Minho was a shockingly good cook so it might not be up to their standard - oh well it was the best Cheol could offer. Cheol began getting out the dishes as Seungmin emerged from his room all ready.

“Good morning Mr. Choi.”

“Good morning Seungmin-ah.”

“What’s for breakfast? Did you make it yourself?” Seungmin made himself comfortable at a seat at the table.

“Kimchi Fried rice. Yes I made it myself.” Cheol put a hot pad down on the table and then put the large pan on top.

“It looks good.”

“I hope you like it.” Cheol grabbed the stack of bowls and utensils and brought them to the table.

“It’s too early, Hyung!” Hyunjin whined as he was pulled out of his room by Minho, Changbin trailing behind him. The twins followed - Jisung looking anxious and Yongbok looking rather cheerful.

“Get over it. The camera crew is coming at like 8 so you need to eat.”

“WHAT! I look like complete trash right now.” Hyunjin just sulked. “Aish you look just fine.” Minho left his brothers to go get Jeongin.

“Mr. Choi cooked for us.” Seungmin said.

“Why are you already dressed - did you cheat and ask early when the camera people were coming.” Hyunjin asked Seungmin.

“No - I got up early because I wanted to.” Hyunjin just grumbled under his breath, “You look amazing Jinnie - like always.” Changbin said as he sat on the floor - Hyunjin dramatically fell next to him.

Minho came back holding Jeongin, he put him in the high chair and sat down next to Hyunjin. “Oi chin up - you look fine - there aren’t camera people now you have like thirty minutes.”

“But I need to eat too!”

“Thank you for the food Mr. Choi.” Yongbok said, choosing a seat next to Cheol. “Of course Yongbok.” The alpha made up a bowl of food for Jeongin and gave it to the boy before he began dishing out food for the boys sitting on the ground. Cheol really thought they should fix the eating situation and get a lower, longer table that could seat everyone but that wasn’t in the budget so he just let it be.

The group ate with limited conversation, mainly because everyone was still tired. Cheol tried to rehearse the words he was going to say. He hoped that they would come out properly and wouldn’t seem offensive.

Somehow Minho had gotten his brothers to agree to talk to Cheol about whatever had happened. Cheol honestly hated that - and obviously would not be talking about that on camera - but had scheduled that for Wednesday - the last full day. It was less than a week, on Thursday he’d leave to go to the other family - whoever they were.

Breakfast passed, Changbin helped Cheol with the dishes, Hyunjin ran to the bathroom to “fix myself” Cheol thought the eleven year old looked fine but who was he to judge? Jisung didn’t bother changing and just sat down on the couch pulling his twin along with him. Yongbok seemed to be doing his best to distract his twin by doing funny faces.

Minho carried Jeongin to the living room and played with him a little. Seungmin sat on the couch calmly and pulled out a book and began reading it - the book was just as big as he was - seriously was that kid real?

Hyunjin came out of the bathroom in a completely different outfit - with combed black hair with a side part of his bowl cut. His clothing was clean and he seemed more awake. “Do you still have the comb on you?” Changbin asked as he left the kitchen area. Hyunjin passed him the comb. Changbin combed his air to the side, his bangs now appearing swoopy and Justin Beiber like… Cheol wouldn’t comment on it. His black hair was probably passably presentable…

There was a knock on the door.

Everyone stared at it.

“I’ll go get it, it’ll probably be best if everyone is in the living room.” Changbin and Hyunjin joined their brothers in the living room, Cheol walked over to the door, taking a moment to straighten the black hoodie - Cheol honestly couldn’t wait till he could get back to wearing his own clothes. Chan was shorter than him and so all of his pants stopped a two centimeters above his ankles - it was very uncomfortable.

Cheol opened the door, the camera crew piled in almost pushing Cheol out of the way.

“There’s not a lot of space in the entry - it would probably be best if everyone came in one at a time.”

They completely ignored Cheol’s advice - Cheol took some deep breaths.

“Well at least it's not as small as the other apartment.” It was one of the cameramen - ‘other apartment’ did that mean that they were talking about Cheol’s apartment and that the other family lived in a house? The other cameraman shoved the cameraman that had talked and nudged toward Cheol’s direction - so they were talking about his apartment. Cheol couldn’t take offense to that - his apartment was small - way too small for thirteen people.

“Ok get some footage of the apartment - get Mr. Choi mic’d up. The director ordered rather loudly. Cheol noticed Jisung flinch. “I need to mic you.” The sound man came up behind him to drop a sound box down the hoodie, “What are you doing?” Cheol reacted fast and pulled away from the sound man.

“Just be calm, it’s just the mic, jeez.” Cheol straightened up - he wanted to yell at the soundman. He probably wasn’t more than thirty - who was he to talk down to Cheol?

The soundman just kept going though and clipped the mic to the front after making sure the box was clipped to the back waistband of his pants. “Almost as bad as the omega.” Cheol heard the soundman whisper under his breath. Was the omega Chan or was it the other parent?

“Ok places - uh you’re going to have to move, we need the floor to be clear there.” Cheol watched as the director addressed Minho - this wasn’t going to end well.

“Ok.” Minho stood up - he was holding Jeongin. He walked carefully over to where Cheol was standing near the dining table. “Minho just sit on the couch, the faster this gets over with, the faster they can leave.” Minho just stared at Cheol, Jeongin wiggled a bit in his brother's arms. Minho put him down. Jeongin ran to Seungmin. Seungmin helped his brother up on the couch.
Minho just sighed at walked back to the couch, deciding to sit on the armrest of the old couch.

“Over here Mr. Choi, try and do this in one take.” Cheol followed the director’s instructions and stood in front of the couch, he should have written out some notes on a three by five card or something, what was he thinking?

Just relax - he had led enough meetings in his life - he had spoken at many trials - he had spoken to much scarier people than a band of stray kids.

“Action!”

Cheol took a deep breath, “You guys are honestly great kids, but I think that perhaps there could be more joy and laughter in this home and in all of you and your eomma, which is why I decided on the rule change the way I did.” That was way too wordy Cheol.

“Changbin is really the only one that leaves the apartment on a regular basis. Yongbok has a lesson once a week which is fine for his age but the rest of you are basically hermits. I think you need to get out of the house more which is why I am imposing a mandatory hour of outside time a day.”

The boys reacted questionably. They seemed to be confused - not upset. Cheol noticed the director smile a bit.

“I’ve also noticed that there is a lack of recent family photos and your eomma’s studio is completely bland which is why I arranged for you all to have pictures taken to be put in your eomma’s office.”

The reaction to that was mixed. Jisung and Minho looked visibly uncomfortable, Yongbok, Changbin and Seungmin seemed excited, Jeongin looked indifferent, and Hyunjin suddenly seemed super self aware.

“The photos are scheduled for later today, it will count as the hour out of the house. As of the rest of the week we will have to stick to a budget.” Cheol paused as he was handed his white cash envelopes each with different categories written in marker on the back.

The boys seemed confused about that, Cheol just felt sorry - sorry that he was such a loser that he couldn’t provide properly and that it would be aired on national television.

“I will be working my regular work hours so I will be here in the morning and afternoon much more than your Eomma is normally.”

That got excited reactions from most of them.

“I hope that even though this week will be different we will still be able to get along.”

“CUT!” everything stopped for a second. “Finally something worth airing.” The director came over to pat Cheol on the shoulder, “Thanks.” Cheol shook him off but was immediately thrown to the soundman who took his mic off.

“Move out people.” And just like that they were gone.

 

<>

 

Had Hyunjin heard correctly?

Were they really getting their pictures taken?

There had been one family photo after Jeongin had been born, and then nothing. Only school pictures and even then Jisung would normally be “mysteriously absent” Hyunjin could never decide if he loved or hated pictures.

Pictures weren’t as bad as the mirror - but still - he would be stuck looking like this.

Hyunjin hated the way he looked. He was too skinny except when he ate the kids at school called him fat - so he tried not to eat a lot. His hair never seemed to do what he wanted and his lips - seriously why were they so big? And why did he have to be born with monolids? Why couldn’t he look more like Minho-hyung?

The train stopped, Hyunjin grabbed Changbin-hyung’s hand and squeezed it tight. Everyone had a buddy - well Jeongin’s buddy was normally eomma except he wasn’t here so Minho-hyung was Jeongin’s buddy which left Seungmin without a buddy. Mr. Choi had stepped in for that role.

Seungmin really liked Mr. Choi, Hyunjin didn’t really get it. Mr. Choi was kind of scary - he was taller than Eomma and was an alpha. He smelled like a forest after rain or maybe it was more like freshly mowed grass - except there was something else… coffee? Hyunjin didn’t have the best sense of smell, that was something that came with puberty which would start more when he was fourteen - maybe that was why Minho-hyung was cranky.

“Stay together.” Mr. Choi said, he spoke with so much authority - it wasn’t intimidating authority but it definitely made you want to do what he told you to do and fear the consequences.

The eight of them exited the station and walked a few blocks before stopping and crossing the road. Mr. Choi stopped again and counted everyone and then continued again, stopping in front of a photo studio. Hyunjin was nervous - so nervous - he really hated photos.

Hyunjin would always stay up late when he was younger - he was always hungry and wanted to sneak food out of the kitchen except Appa would be home then - he’d be on the phone with people who wanted to “buy the photos.” The buyers would always complain.

“You’re boys are too skinny.”

“They are too chubby.”

“Don’t you have one that’s older?”

“How old is the youngest?”

“Is that all you can show us?”

“He looks scared.”

Hyunjin always assumed they were talking about him, but maybe he was just self centered.

Hyunjin had always tried to disassociate like Jisung but he learned that there were more complaints so Hyunjin started to pretend he liked it. It was only then that he’d get praise, but then Appa took more photos - more videos - more men wanted to watch just him - they didn’t care about the others, and Hyunjin was the only one to blame.

“Yes, seven individual portraits and one all together. No, I'm not their parent. Here's the confirmation email. We are on a show - parent swap - yes that’s the one.” Mr. Choi was with the receptionist. Should Hyunjin be excited?

“It’ll be fine Jinnie.” Changbin-hyun squeezed his hand, Hyunjin tried to believe him.

They went youngest to oldest. Yongbok made funny faces behind the photographer to get Jeongin to smile - it was adorable. Jeongin had such a precious smile his eyes were pure and innocent. The brothers and Mr. Choi melted when they saw Jeongin looking so utterly happy, Yongbok was very proud that he had managed to make Jeongin smile so broadly.

Seungmin went next, he sat on the white block. “Could you take off your glasses there's a glare.” Seungmin - once excited - now seemed let down.

“Could you angle the camera differently so that there wouldn’t be a glare?” Mr. Choi stood up for them. It wasn’t that eomma wouldn’t do the same but only if there was some kind of danger or something pressing - wearing or not wearing glasses was so small, but eomma wouldn’t have been rude to the photographer - only was Mr. Choi being rude?

“It’s much simpler-”

“My son has glasses, he’s practically blind without them I know it can be done.” The way Mr. Choi talked you’d almost think Seungmin was his son.

The photographer actually gave in and repositioned the cameras and some of the lights so that there wouldn’t be a glare.

Seungmin happily skipped off to Mr. Choi after the photo and gave him a hug - he gave him a hug - Seungmin didn’t just give out hugs.

Yongbok went after. “Did you want the pictures retouched after?”

“No.”

Mr. Choi was so firm with his answers, he wasn’t scared or hesitant with them.

Yongbok smiled, it was so bright, Hyunjin loved seeing his brothers smile. After Yongbok, Jisung practically shook as he went to sit on white block.

“Could you smile?”

Jisung just kept a straight face - he was doing his best to ignore the camera.

“Kid you gotta smile - come on you can do it.”

“Jisung-ah it’s ok, you’re fine.” Was Mr. Choi an expert or something?

Jisung got through the photo, he rushed back to Yongbok - the twins hugged, Yongbok just smiled, Jisung had done it, Hyunjin was happy for him except now it was his turn.

Hyunjin faked the confidence and walked up to the white box, sitting down, making sure his back was straight, his shoulders were back and chin was down. He crossed his legs and stared at the camera with just the corners of his lips turned up so that his eyes didn’t appear any smaller.

The photographer just stared at him, “Perfect.” Hyunjin brightened - he smiled wider the flash - wait - he wasn’t supposed to do that.

“Can you take it again, please.”

“The picture is perfect, it’s not going to get better.”

Hyunjin just sat there, he had the chance to take a perfect photo and he ruined it, he had smiled too broadly his eyes would appear small - smaller than they already were.

“It looks great Hyunjin,” Changbin pulled him up, “I need to take my photo now.” Changbin-hyung just laughed easily.

Why couldn’t Hyunjin be more relaxed, why did he worry about these things?

Changbin looked confidently at the camera - he had been doing that a lot recently - acting confident, or maybe he actually was confident.

Minho went after, he was shaking - the photographer had the audacity to ask him to stop shaking - Mr. Choi looked like he was going to get angry - the room started to smell a little - alpha like maybe… the photographer just took the picture even if Minho looked slightly terrified.

They all moved to a different set that had a blue background and no white box. The photographer stood in the middle looking at the area and the group.

“Ok I want the youngest -“

“Jeongin.”

Alphas had so much confidence - or maybe like Changbin Mr. Choi’s confidence was fake.

“Right, Jeongin, I’d like you to sit right here crossed legged.” Jeongin did as he was told.

“Ok and then you three-“

Mr. Choi just looked at him.

“Uh- Changbin.”

“I’m Seungmin.”

“Ok Seungmin-ah sit on your knees off to the right of your brother.”

“My right or yours sir?”

The photographer sighed as if his instructions here perfectly clear.

“My right.” Seungmin did as he was told, smiling at Jeongin.

“Ok uh - are you Changbin?”

“Minho.”

“Ok right behind Jeongin, and then uh are you Changbin?”

Jisung just looked at him with wide eyes.

“Well you - go sit on your knees next to Minho.”

“Ok - Yongbok.”

“I’m Hyunjin.”

“Hyunjin go stand behind Minho but lean down so your hands are resting on your brother’s shoulders.”

Hyunjin did his best to do as the photographer had asked of him.

“Ok are you Changbin?”

“I’m Yongbok.”

The photographer looked ready to quit his job, Mr. Choi looked ready to kill him.

“Ok we’ll go stand behind uh - Seungmin?”

“Jisung.”

“Stand behind Jisung and do exactly what Hyunjin is doing.”

He was doing it right. The photographer approved.

“Ok and you must be Changbin.”

“Yes.”

“Finally. Now you stand to the right - my right - of Hyunjin and lean on Seungmin’s shoulders.”

Changbin did as he was asked. The photographer stared for a few seconds, “Ok actually those of you in the back kneel on your knees so there’s less of a height difference. Good - just like that. Just stay like that while I get the photo.” There were several camera flashes, Hyunjin noticed Minho flinched every single time without fail - Minho hated pictures.

“Ok thank you, that’s all I’ll send these to your address in two weeks.”

“Two weeks? The website said one.” Mr. Choi argued, he was actually arguing - Hyunjin couldn't believe that there were people that actually stood up for themselves.

“There have been a lot of bookings lately so it will take longer than normal - but you're free to look at the pictures digitally in the lobby, but now I have another booking so I must ask that you leave.” Even Hyunjin could tell the photographer was lying - but who was he to say anything?

“Alright- boys come on let’s go look at the pictures.” Seungmin skipped close to Mr. Choi’s side - Hyunjin tried to get close to Minho because he clearly needed someone to ground him - but Minho just brushed him off and picked Jeongin up. Was Hyunjin really that bad at comforting people? He knew that he wasn’t the best at offering comfort - he wasn’t like Eomma but surely he wasn’t so bad that Minho should brush him off?

Hyunjin followed the group glumly, standing in the back while his brothers crowded in front of him looking at the pictures - Hyunjin didn’t want to look - he knew he messed up, but he caught a glimpse of himself - it was disgusting.

“Hyung, you look so professional.”

“Why are you so handsome?”

“Jinnie just look - you’re perfect.”

Why did they all lie to him? Did they know his ego really was that fragile? Or were they simply blind?

“Ok boys - we have to go now, you won’t get the photos till the next parents but I’m glad we were able to do this. Family photos are a way to see how far you’ve come - or how much you’ve grown.” Mr. Choi corralled everyone outside, grabbing Seungmin’s hand, everyone else grabbed the hand of their buddies. “If you want I can show you some of the family photos my boys have taken over the years, but before we do that we need to complete a mandatory hour of outside time.”

Hyunjin was confused about the outside time - he didn’t really get it - plus the sun would make him burn. The eleven year old just went along with it. Mr. Choi led them to a shopping district and introduced them to “window shopping.” There was no shopping involved - it was weird, Hyunjin didn’t get it, he just wanted to be home and hide from the world.

Yongbok still managed to have a good time, Changbin looked calm, even Minho had relaxed, Hyunjin was still tense, Jisung was too but that happened every time they went out there was no fixing that, and Seungmin - well he never looked happier. Mr. Choi brought something out in him that just made him smile. Hyunjin didn’t get it, Mr. Choi was just some guy - he was nice but also sort of strict - did Seungmin just miss Eomma cause Hyunjin did, he had never missed him as much as he did currently.

“Ok make sure you all keep holding hands, we are going down to the train.” They had finished “window shopping” and were heading back home, Hyunjin was honestly starving, but he probably shouldn’t eat - maybe he could look better if he ate less? Maybe his eyes would look larger if his face was smaller?

The train left the station, Jisung just looked down - he was lost in his head somewhere - there would be no pulling him out for a while, Yongbok was just smiling - how did he just keep smiling?

“You good Jinnie?” Changbin-hyung asked. Hyunjin looked at his older brother - his picture had turned out so well, he had so much confidence even if it wasn’t real half the time, why couldn’t Hyunjin just be better?

“Yeah hyung?” why did he lie?

What was wrong with his stupid stupid brain.

The kids at school called him “pabo” and rightfully so - he had almost failed all of his classes.

The train stopped, Mr. Choi made sure everyone was in front of him and ushered them off the train, “Stay together.” He clearly had practice. When was the last time Eomma had taken them out and not just for grocery shopping?

Eomma liked to take them out separately for one on one time - the last time had been several weeks ago. Eomma had taken him to a pottery painting experience. Hyunjin had painted a mug, Eomma had done his best to paint a plate but had failed miserably, the plate was still brought home though.

That was the one thing Hyunjin had - his art.

If all else failed he could always paint.

They made it home, Hyunjin took his shoes off quickly and ran off to Eomma’s room. Obviously he wasn’t hiding - the apartment was too small for that. Hyunjin opened Eomma’s closet and sat down - it was really the only place that still smelled like Eomma. Like sage and the beach with a hint of sorrow - it was always the same - it used to be worse. Eomma used to smell like a dying ocean - one full of the carcasses of dead sea life and rotten sun baked seaweedeaweed - he had gotten better though so why couldn’t Hyunjin?

There was a knock on the closet door. Hyunjin flinched - surely Minho would leave him alone for five minutes - it wasn’t like Hyunjin was currently skipping a meal or doing anything wrong.

“I didn’t do anything Hyung.” he called.

“I didn’t say you did, Hyunjin-ah.” It was Mr. Choi not Minho.

What was Hyunjin supposed to do?

“Can I open the door?” Hyunjin didn’t answer, “If you don’t answer I’m going to have to open it so I can make sure you’re ok.”

“I’m ok.”

“That’s good - I’m glad to hear that. Do you mind telling me what’s bothering you?”

Hyunjin didn’t wan’t to say anything, after all Hyunjin would eventually tell Mr. Choi everything - why had he agreed to that?

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“That’s ok, you don’t have to, but you can if you want.” There was silence - had Mr. Choi left?

“You know Hyunjin-ah, it’s ok to not like getting your picture taken - it was probably insensitive for me to make that appointment without asking any of you. I just thought that your Eomma would like having pictures of you all in his studio because I have pictures of my boys in my - cubicle.”

Would Eomma like it?

Hyunjin had never seen Eomma’s studio. Jisung had when he had to get picked up from school early - all Hyunjin knew was that there was a couch that Jisung said was comfortable.

“Do you think he’ll like the pictures even if they aren’t perfect?”

He heard Mr. Choi sigh heavily as if he just figured something out - had Hyunjin said something wrong?

“Hyunjin-ah, you’re Eomma will love you regardless of how good your photo is - I have some pictures of my sons - do you want to see them?” he asked with trepidation.

Hyunjin did want to see the photos, after all Mr. Choi was pretty good looking so his kids probably were too.

“Ok.” Hyunjin answered in a small voice, “Can I open the door?” Hyunjin nodded, and then realized that Mr. Choi couldn’t see the nod.

“Yes.”

“Ok.” Mr. Choi opened the door and sat on the ground next to Hyunjin, “I bet this is the only place where you can still smell your Eomma.” Hyunjin just nodded.

Mr. Choi just sighed sadly and took out his phone, opening the photo app and then showing some pictures to Hyunjin. The first picture was of two boys who looked quite similar at first but on closer inspection they were quite different. One had lighter hair that was styled in a swooping style and the other had darker hair that was longer than average. The one with lighter hair had some of the most beautiful eyes Hyunjin had ever seen and the other had the perfect nose bridge. They were literally perfect.

“Wow.” Mr. Choi just laughed, “They are my eldests. Jeonghan and Jisoo, and this is a picture of Seokmin, he’s your age.

Hyunjin burst out laughing at the picture. Seokmin had paint all over his face and was making the most ridiculous expression Hyunjin had ever seen.

Mr. Choi just smiled, “Now Seokmin’s picture is pretty bad, I’m sure you agree but I don’t love his picture any less than Jeonghan and Jisoo.” Hyunjin just nodded, he knew Eomma would love him - but that wouldn’t make Hyunjin like the picture any more.

Mr. Choi examined him closer, “This isn’t it is it?”

“What?”

Mr. Choi shook his head and took a moment to think, “Hyunjin - did you not like your photo?”

Hyunjin shook his head.

“Ah - I see. What didn’t you like about it?” Hyunjin looked down, he didn’t really want to answer that question - but what if Mr. Choi could do something about it. Seungmin had said talking had helped, and as much as Hyunjin hated to admit it, his younger brother was right about 80% of the time.

“Myself.”

Mr. Choi just nodded, “What don’t you like about yourself?”

How could he just ask a question like that? Did he have experience with this?

“I don’t look as nice as Minho - but he doesn’t care, I care, yet I look like this?” Hyunjin gestured to himself. Mr. Choi just looked at him, he seemed to be thinking very carefully about what he should say next.

“Hyunjin, we all have things we don’t like about ourselves. I know it’s hard to realize that. Do other people tell you don’t look nice or are you the only telling yourself this?”

Should Hyunjin tell the truth?

“Appa used to make comments - and his friends, and some of the kids at school, and honestly they are right.”

“Hyunjin-ah, your father was a terrible man. I’m sure you were used to him saying bad things about you but you must know that those were not right things to say, and anything he said you should believe the opposite. Have you told your Eomma about the bullying?”

Hyunjin just shook his head - he knew what Mr. Choi was saying was correct yet he almost didn’t want to believe it. “You need to, ok, when he gets back. And about you telling yourself things- it’s hard - believe me I know - but we can’t let our perception of ourselves get in the way of us living a good life.”

It was so true.

Mr. Choi did have experience with this and it showed.

“Ok.”

“Good, I’m glad we could have this talk, now I think it’s time for lunch, let’s go eat.”

 

<>

 

Minho was happy for his brother, truly, he was glad Changbin had found something he liked to do and was good at. The end of school festival was in full swing and the entire family excluding Eomma and including Mr. Choi were seated in the bleachers of a soccer field. The cheerleading team was going to give a demonstration before the end of school athletic awards were passed out.

Minho was sitting on the end, with Jeongin in his lap and Yongbok on his left, Jisung was next to him and then Mr. Choi with Seungmin on his lap and Hyunjin on the other side.

Everyone, even Jisung, was excited, mainly because Changbin hadn’t stopped talking about the performance since it was first announced almost two months ago.

Everyone cheered as the large crowd of mainly girls came out on the field and got into some kind of formation. There were some crowd cheers with flipping and lifting, Minho didn’t really catch the whole thing because he was focused on one thing - the girls seated in front of them all had their phones out and all were zoomed in on his brother - they couldn’t do that.

Minho wanted to stand up and rip the phones out of their hands - but he couldn’t do that right now - he’d have to threaten them later to delete the videos.

The music to “Cheer Up” by Twice began playing - so that was the big surprise.

The choreo was different from the original, it included tumbling and more jumping, but what was more shocking was that Changbin was in the center for almost all of it.

There were even more people videoing this specific performance.

How was Minho supposed to get all of those people to delete that footage?

It wouldn’t be possible?

There were too many.

“Hyung - HYUNG!”

How long had he been staring off into space?

“Yes.”

“It’s time to leave.”

When had that happened? How was the performance already over? Minho just followed the crowd.

He needed to talk to Changbin about this.

But he couldn’t do it now.

He’d have to do it home - but it would take forever to get back home.

Changbin actually liked talking to people - he was talking to other people in his team and some of the girls that were videoing him - oh no that was absolutely not happening.

Minho walked over and grabbed his brother away from the hoard of girls.

“Changbin-oppa!”

“HYUNG. What are you doing?”

“We are leaving. Mr. Choi, we need to get home.” Mr. Choi looked between the two of them, Changbin was confused and annoyed, Minho looked ready to hurt somebody.

“Ok, let’s get going.”

They tried to leave quickly but the crowds made it difficult.

Minho hadn’t let go of Changbin’s arm and was still holding Jeongin’s hand. “Hyung, seriously nothing was wrong.”

“I need to do a head count.”

“Everyone is here.” Minho gritted his teeth.

Mr. Choi just counted - could he not see that they needed to get home.

“1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - here is Yongbok?”

Yongbok?

What had happened.

“Stay here, he probably is lost in the crowd. Minho-ah, Changbin-ah you need to keep an eye on your brothers, I’ll be as fast as I can.”

“Yes - yes.” Changbin answered, Minho was just struggling.

“Hyung, you can let go of my arm.”

“Hyung - where is Yongbok?”

Minho looked at Jeongin, he was so young - innocent - pure and untouched from the hell that had been their lives except they were missing Yongbok - the crowd was large. Had they lost him.

“Jisung-hyung, hold my hand.”

“Where is Yongbok? Please where is he? I didn’t mean to let go of his hand.”

Seungmin was holding tightly to Jisung’s hand, “It’s ok Hyung.”

Minho’s chest was tight - so tight. Had this been his fault? Had he rushed them and now they were missing Yongbok.

“Hyung.” Changbin shook Minho.

“Look there’s Mr. Choi!” Hyunjin shouted and pointed as the alpha made his way through the crowd, holding a very scared Yongbok.

“Yongbok!” Jisung shouted, running to Mr. Choi.

“Yongbok is safe now - see - ok, we should go now.” The boys just followed Mr. Choi, or rather he followed them because he insisted he should be in the back.

Minho wanted to be home so badly, home was safe - even if it once hadn’t been. He used to hate going home but at the same time had a terrible sense of responsibility that forced him to go home. If he was home then father would normally focus on him - Minho after all was “Perfect” in all ways physical.

Minho hated it.

The bus ride was solemn but still anxiety ridden. Jisung was literally shaking - Yongbok was crying silent tears and everyone was looking at them with odd looks. Mr. Choi was simply doing his best to intimidate the onlookers.

They left the bus and made it to the apartment building and the elevator.

Minho held on to Jisung’s shoulder, “Do you need someone to-”

“Just leave me alone Hyung- I just can’t right now.” Jisung shook him off - did he not need him right now?

Yongbok looked nervously between Jisung and Minho - “Hyung you can’t just-”

The bell dinged, and the doors opened, they left - whatever Yongbok was going to say was left unsaid.

They practically sprinted to the apartment and threw open the door. Minho slipped his shoes off as fast as he could and just ran - except there was no way to go. His chest felt so tight. His vision kept going in and out - why were the lights so bright? His legs felt weak - he couldn’t focus.

“Hyung?”

“They were videoing you Changbin!” He turned - he felt so disoriented, he should sit down. Changbin just stood shocked in the doorway - Jeongin looked scared, was Minho the reason?

“Yes Hyung - it was a performance that’s what people-”

“It wasn’t a performance. It was a demonstration. You - know - right. That - that wasn’t a - it wasn’t - was-”

Why couldn’t Minho get the words out?

Mr. Choi was there - why? Minho hated being seen like this. He tried to move to his room, but his legs wouldn’t work.

“Minho-ah, you should sit down.”

“Hyung?” Jeongin was scared, it was Minho’s fault, he was going to ruin Innie’s perfect childhood.

“Jisung - let’s go to our room.”

“No - Minho-hyung I’m sorry.” Jisung walked up to his oldest brother and hugged him.

“NO! SToP!” his voice cracked, why did they have to touch him?

“I’m sorry hyung.” There was something wet on his shoulder - no - no - NO!

Minho pulled back, falling down in the process, he curled up. “Just stop! It’s not right! PLeasE!”

“Go to your rooms.” The voice was so authoritative.

“But hyung needs us -”

“He’s overwhelmed.”

“But I want to help.”

“More people won’t make it better, if you want to help you need to give him space.”

Slowly the brothers left - for a second it seemed like even Mr. Choi left, he came back with a very familiar looking hoodie. He put it on the ground next to Minho and then sat down on the couch.

“It should still smell like your Eomma, but it’s probably faint.”

Minho just looked at the black hoodie - it looked just like every other black hoodie his Eomma owned. He carefully reached out to grab it. There was a scent and it was faint - barely recognizable as his eomma’s, but it still brought comfort.

It made him think of the time Eomma brought them all to the beach, it was the first thing they had done after He was finally in prison. Eomma had talked about the beaches in Australia being even better, Minho wanted to see them one day.

He never learned how to swim, but he still loved the beach, because Eomma smelled like the beach.

Slowly the teen soaked in the scent of the hoodie, it made him feel safe, even if it didn’t make sense for Minho to feel safe.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Minho just stared back at him, by now Mr. Choi probably knew that Minho didn’t want to talk about it even if he had agreed to it. He didn’t really understand, he had been fine before the show but once he started being honest it was like the dam had finally broken and there was no way to stop it, so why try? Perhaps the only way for it to get better was for it to get worse.

“They were filming Changbin - he wasn’t scared. They were all obsessed with him, it was like - like His friends, they really liked Changbin because he’d always pretend he wasn’t scared but he couldn’t hold the act together - they liked - they liked making him look like a girl and seeing him dance like that it just - why doesn’t he hate it?” Minho had sat up from his fetal position on the floor and was slowly starting to face Mr. Choi.

The alpha sat on the couch, his face attempting to mask his confusion on how to continue, “I can’t fix any problems, Minho-ah. I can listen though, but I think that you need to talk to Changbin about this, and you can’t just - you can’t decide what’s best for him, he needs to make that choice for himself.”

Minho turned to avert his gaze from Mr. Choi. He noticed Dori staring straight at him with his large green eyes. The cat slowly approached Minho. The teen reached out his hand to pet his cat, the cat gently rubbed up against it, Dori purred quietly, Minho smiled.

“I know I should. I don’t know how to not be in control though. I just want them to all be safe and ok, but I guess that means that I forced them all to stay inside and barely see the light of day.” Minho laughed bitterly as Dori crept into Minho’s lap, planting himself on the teen’s leg and deciding not to move one centimeter. “They say you become the thing you hate the most if that’s all you focus on, I guess I became the prison warden of the home- ha. Just like he was I-”

 

“You are not your father Minho.”

Minho’s mouth turned up in an odd smile, “I know - I know no one thinks I am, but - but I am sort of in charge aren't I? Eomma’s never here so I just - I just put myself in the spot of leader, I’m not a leader though. I want my brothers to be safe - and I’m fine providing for them - but - I can’t be their parent.”

He had said it - he had said exactly what Cheol had been thinking the second he read the manual.

Choel had worked long and hard hours because he thought his wife was being a good parent, but now that she was in Jail Cheol forced himself to work shorter hours as long as they could live off of them. His boys needed him, sure he could leave them alone for a few hours but not the whole day, and his boys were older than the Bangs.

“I think you need to talk to your Eomma about that too.”

“Yeah I know. I have a feeling that he’ll probably need to talk to us too.”

“What makes you say that?”

Minho just looked down at his cat and smiled, “Just a feeling.”

Chapter Text

Hongjoong fell back in his chair - he really hated Seungcheol’s job. There was way too much calling. Hongjoong hated phone calls with a passion. Just text - that’s what texting was invented for, introverts disdain for talking on the phone.

“Excuse me, I’ve seen you around for a few weeks but I don’t recognize you.” Hongjoong’s head shot back as he saw a beta woman probably in her late twenties staring at him with large curious eyes holding a provided lunch tray.

“Uh - my name is Kim Hongjoong, I’m uh - I’m on a show right now, parent swap -”

“Oh, my name is Pae Jin-ae - did you switch with Seuncheol-shi?”

“Yes.”

“Ah - I see, and the other man that was here last week was he your mate?”

“Yes.”

“Are their cameras rolling now?”

“No.” Hongjoong expected the woman to leave then, probably just wanting a few seconds of fame, but was instead shocked when she took a seat next to him. “Good, I don’t think Seuncheol-shi would want this aired.”

Now Hongjoong was curious, “Seungcheol-shi really does too good of a job for how much he gets paid. I don’t know the whole story but they really have him working as hard as an intern with the title of manager, frankly he does more than the supervisor, yet she’s getting paid more.”

Hongjoong took a bite of the food, “I gathered that much.”

Jin-ae sighed, “I heard that he used to be in high management but had to leave in order to prevent a scandal, I don’t know if that’s true but could you please tell Seungcheol-shi that everyone at the company except our Supervisor really respects his work ethic and would much rather have him as our supervisor.”

Hongjoong took a sip of water, “Why don’t you tell him yourself?”

“I don’t want the word to get out and the supervisor to think I’m undermining her authority, the truth is even though I know almost nothing about Seungcheol-shi he still took time to check on me when I was having a rough time.”

Hongjoong put down the water bottle and examined Jin-ae closely, “If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly did he do?”

Jin-ae looked down embarrassed, “I’ve been working this job for six years, since I got out of university, the entire time I hadn’t gotten a single raise, but within two years of working here Seungcheol-shi was promoted to manager, I was frustrated and - I said some things I shouldn’t have, our supervisor was going to have me laid off, but Seungcheol talked to her, he somehow got me promoted, there was a lot of drama surrounding it. People accused me of having an affair and - I was just going to quit even after I got the promotion but Seungcheol-shi, he just - he wasn’t ashamed to admit anything, he cleared the water and helped everything go back to normal. I’ve tried to thank him by offering to buy him dinner or anything but he won’t accept anything, so please - just tell him that I along with everyone in the office appreciates him greatly.”

Hongjoong nodded, “I will.”

“Thank you.” Jin-ae smiled and ate a few bites of her food before asking, “So I’ve always been curious, are all of those boys in the pictures of Seungcheol’s desk his?”

Oh boy - this was going to be fun.

“Well - I don’t really know how Seungcheol-shi would like me to respond to that, but I could show you pictures of my kids.”

“Would you?” She smiled, it was bright, it lit up the room, and honestly nothing lit up Hongjoong’s world more than someone smiling at him while he talked about his family. Maybe Seungcheol’s job wasn’t too bad after all?

 

<>

 

Seongwha looked at the long list of names laid before him. He had just finished deep cleaning the bathroom and showing the boys the best way to fold and store towels and now was time to take the first Choi son out.

The rock, paper, scissors game had ended with Jisoo being the victor so he was going first. Later in the same day Seonghwa would take Minghao out as well, and then during dinner Hongjoong would take Seokmin out. They would be doing this for four days which was the only way to get through all of them.

Seonghwa had vague plans of what he was going to do. The thing that would remain constant would be that he would be buying one clothing item and a pair of shoes for all of them and then whatever the boy wanted to do (within reason) they would do.

Seonghwa was grateful that his book had sold well and was continuing to sell well. He really wanted to finish his second book about the ups and downs of the modeling world, but there wasn’t time in his day, plus he didn’t think was ready to go back to all of those thoughts - even though he thought it was important. He also had further plans to right on the expectations omegas have put on them from society and how that changes how an omega views themself.

All of that would have to wait. Seonghwa didn’t mind, he would rather be with his kids or in this case the Choi dozen.

“Jisoo-ah, are you ready?”

Seonghwa turned to look toward the open bedroom door that Jisoo was waiting by the door frame.

“Yes.” Jisoo straightened, but kept an easy smile on his face.

“Ok, let’s go. Jeonghan-”

“I’m in charge - I got it.”

“But Jeonghan-hyung is-”

“Would you rather have Soonyoung in charge?”

“NOOOOO!”

 

<>

 

Jisoo kept looking back at Mr. Kim to see what he was doing. The omega was giving nothing away, he was just waiting next to a rack of clothes urging Jisoo to choose anything his heart desired.

It was odd really, seeing Mr. Kim wear Appa’s clothes - they looked so much different on him than on Appa. They hung a little loose on the shoulders, the belt he wore was always in the smallest hole and set higher than Appa would wear the pants. The omega had such amazing posture he almost made Appa’s clothes look good and not outdated and well worn.

“Do you not see anything you like?”

Jisoo definitely hadn’t been staring, “Uh - sorry, I was just lost in thought.”

Mr. Kim nodded and just folded his arms across his chest and waited. Jisoo noticed a few people also stare at Mr. Kim. The omega was just polite, smiling and nodding his head in acknowledgement, casually flashing his wedding ring as he pushed hair out of his that wasn’t in his face in the first place.

Eventually Jisoo settled on a gray collared shirt that he thought was a good color on him. Mr. Kim just smiled and brought him to the shoe section.

“Are you really going to buy all of us new shoes?”

“Well this is a resale shop, so none of this is new, but yes.”

Jisoo felt a bit bad - but who was he to reject freebies? Hannie would be very disappointed if they didn’t take full advantage of this. So Jisoo found the nicest most practical shoes he could in a size that was slightly too big so they’d last even longer.

Mr. Kim didn’t question the large size and just asked if Jisoo was happy with it.

Jisoo ws elated, he secretly liked brighter colors - but those were impractical and the colors eventually faded in the many washes they would have to endure until they maybe got to Seokmin and then had to be retired for the amount of holes and broken seams.

The pair walked out of the store, the weather was nice that day, not too hot, not too cold with the sun shining brightly and just enough clouds in the sky for it to not feel blazing hot.

“What would you like to do now?” Mr. Kim smiled, it was an easy comforting smile that made almost all of Jisoo’s worries vanish.

Jisoo had talked to Jeonghan about this - the two hadn’t really come up with an amazing solution.

“Can we get kwabaegi?”

Mr. Kim thought about it for a moment, “We can, but I’ll need to ask around, I don’t know this area that well.”

Jisoo was excited - it had been a long time since he had the twisted donuts that Appa used to buy for Jeonghan and Jisoo’s birthday.

The pair walked for a few blocks until stopping at a corner as Mr. Kim asked a stranger, “Excuse me but do you know where we could find a kwabaegi stand?” The stranger stared for a moment before answering.

“Why do you need something sweet, sweet cheeks?” Jisoo just gaped - his mouth hanging open, “I appreciate the comment - but It’s not for me, It’s for my - son.” Seonghwa held onto Jisoo’s shoulder. Jisoo just stared at the man. Had Mr. Kim just lied?

“Oh - uh - yeah. If you go down that way about five blocks and then take a right and just keep walking until you find a courtyard. You should find some food stalls over there.”

“Thank you.” Mr. Kim bowed slightly, Jisoo followed suit acting almost dumbly - as the two walked Mr. Kim kept his hand on Jisoo’s shoulder.

“Don’t look back until we make the turn. I’m sorry I had to lie - I didn’t - I didn’t expect that, I’m sorry.”

Jisoo stared at the ground until they made the turn and Mr. Kim removed his hand. “You don’t need to apologize, that guy was a jerk. And I don’t mind you lying about our relationship in that situation, I mean if you were to tell the truth that could have just caused more problems.”

Mr. Kim just sighed, “Still - I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

“Does that happen a lot?”

Maybe that was going too far?

“It used to happen a lot more when I was younger, ha. It was never like that when I was pregnant.” Mr. Kim smiled at that thought, “It recently has been happening again. I try and take it as a compliment, but really I don’t care. It’s annoying but I can’t change what I look like. Oh dear, that sounded terribly conceited.”

“Well you were a model Mr. Kim. Jun-ah makes jokes about him being the best looking out of all of us even though we all know Jeonghan is the best looking.”

The two laughed together easily, they really weren’t laughing about anything in particular, they were just enjoying each other's company. Eventually the two got to the courtyard and found the food stand. Mr. Kim ordered two Kwabaegi and handed one to Jisoo. “Thank you.” Jisoo immediately took a bite - the taste brought back good memories of his childhood, there weren’t many but there were a few that he had almost forgotten about the good moments.

“What are you laughing at?” Mr. Kim asked innocently, oh - Jisoo hadn’t realized he had started laughing.

“It’s just that - Hannie and I used to - we used to?” Jisoo just laughed and stuck the kwabaegi stick up to his forehead, “Hello Mr. Narwhal what a lovely horn you have.” “I’m not a narwhal, I'm a unicorn.” Jisoo changed his voice to imitate the little scenes that he and his twin used to do.

Mr. Kim smiled and attempted to hold a laugh, he hadn’t been expecting that. People often assumed Jisoo was the most “normal” out of all of the Chois, when in actuality there wasn't a single normal one, and not just because of shared trauma. The family truly lived by the phrase, “Who's gonna match my freak?”

The answer was no one.

Jisoo spun around and finished the donut on the stick. Mr. Kim just followed behind smiling and laughing at the boy’s antics. Suddenly the day became more cloudy and rain began to fall, Mr. Kim took out the umbrella from his bag but Jisoo just stood there in the rain, his arms outstretched like he was inviting the skies to rain more, and then he began singing.

‘I’m singing in the rain - Just singing in the rain - what a glorious feeling I’m happy again’

The words were in English but the tune sounded familiar, and Jisoo looked so - so happy. Happier than Mr. Kim had seen him.

The teen had gone through so much the past few weeks, of course there would be more struggles, but Seonghwa was at the very least happy that Jisoo seemed to be letting go and appear as if he had no burdens.

He was simply - free.

 

<>

 

Minghao appreciated Mr. Kim’s input on which items he should get but frankly he was eight years old and perfectly old enough to choose by himself. Eventually Mr. Kim got the idea and let Minghao do what he wanted, but it took convincing.

The eight-year-old pulled up the hood of his yellow raincoat. Jisoo-hyung had come back with Mr. Kim just under an hour ago. He had been completely soaked as he had decided to just walk in the rain even after Mr. Kim offered him the umbrella.

Minghao didn’t understand how his brother could be so dumb. Jisoo-hyung was twice his age - didn’t he know that doing that would make him sick and then he wouldn’t get to have any fun and he’d just have to lay in bed all day.

The only person that actually enjoyed laying in bed all day was Jeonghan-hyung.

“Could you hold my hand, Minghao-ah?”

Mr. Kim stuck his hand out, his other hand held the umbrella as it was still raining.

“I could.”

“Will you?”

“Sure.” Minghao grabbed onto the omega’s hand. It was very soft - it wasn’t rough and slightly dry like Appa’s hands. It felt unfamiliar but still nice.

Mingao had already told Mr. Kim that he wanted Tánghúlu, which had left Mr. Kim googling for several minutes before they left.

Minghao didn’t remember China - Jun-hyung did, and always told Minghao stories but he had left his homeland barely older than one. He didn’t remember his parents - he didn’t really speak Chinese either - so it bothered him that people would still make fun of him and label him a foreigner. Sure he was literally Chinese, but legally he was Korean. Choi was the last name on his identification papers. Well technically it was Xu-Choi or the Korean version Seo-Choi - but no one called him that - he didn’t even call himself. Appa just thought it was important that he kept a part of his Chinese identity. Minghao didn’t really get it - maybe he was too young - but Minghao didn’t like thinking he was too young for anything.

“Here you go, we are going to go inside that coffee shop ok?”

“Sure - whatever.” Minghao just enjoyed the candied fruit as Mr. Kim led him into a coffee shop and to the counter, he ordered a hot tea for himself and then sat down at a table with Minghao.

The man smiled as he watched Minghoa eat. “Is it good?”

Minghau nodded, “I’m a terrible actor - if it wasn’t I would have spit it out.”

Mr. Kim smiled - he must think Minghao was joking. That was something the boy had learned. Most adults didn’t take kids seriously, they thought they didn’t know what they were talking about.

“Here is your tea, sir.”

“Thank you.”

Mr. Kim took the cup and began drinking his tea carefully. “Did you not want some?” Minghao asked, gesturing to the almost empty stick that had leftover caramel on it, Mr. Kim shook his head, “I had Kwabaegi earlier - I don’t think I could handle another sweet treat.”

“Adults are so weird.”

That got a reaction from Mr. Kim. Minghao liked getting reactions from people - he wasn’t mean - he just liked teasing people - especially his brothers, they always fell for it.

“Why are adults weird?” Mr. Kim wiped an invisible drop of tea from his chin using a napkin.

“They say things like that. So what if you already had Kwabaegi - if you have the money, have kwabaegi and tánghúlu. Enjoy your life.”

The omega just smiled at Minghao - the eight-year-old couldn’t tell if that was a smile of agreement or dismissal.

“You know, it’s refreshing to hear someone say it.”

“It’s not that hard. Just enjoy life - you know.”

“Are you sure you’re eight?”

Minghao pulled out his fingers and carefully counted - yup he was eight. “Yes - are you sure you are 35?”

“I’m only 33 Minghao-ah.”

“Hm.” Minghao finished his candy, but didn’t miss how Mr. Kim scrambled to pull out his phone to check for wrinkles on his face.

“How old do you think your Appa is?”

“He’s 33 like you - but well you both look older.”

Was this reverse psychology? Minghao didn’t know what that was - he just knew it was funny to watch adults do double takes, trying to figure out if he wasn’t being honest or not.

“I see.” Mr. Kim took a few more sips of his tea. “I can throw that away for-”

“I can do it myself.” Minghao skipped over to the trash can, put the stick in it and skipped back to the table.

“Are we leaving now?”

Mr. Kim checked the window outside, it had stopped raining and the sun was beginning to show again.

“Yes, let’s get going.”

As the two walked Minghao couldn’t help but think of Mr. Kim’s behavior- it was strange really. He was so put together - clearly overly kind and apologetic sometimes yet still seemed open and honest, or maybe Minghao simply wasn’t as good at reading people as he thought he was.

 

<>

 

Seokmin happily skipped next Mr. Hongjoong. He had started calling the Mr. Seonghwa and Mr. Hongjoong, and they hadn’t complained yet so they probably didn’t think it was rude.

They had just got out of the store. Seokmin was very excited about the new sneakers he got. They were basically brand new so he’d actually get to wear them in and not have them given to him with holes already present and soles already falling apart.

Normally by the time clothes got to Seokmin they were in tatters - that’s just what happened, he didn’t think his brothers purposefully stained or destroyed the clothes it just happened.

But now Seokmin would get to make his own marks on the clothes, make his own holes - not intentionally of course.

“Mr. Hongjoong?”

“Yes.”

“We can get pizza right? You said whatever we wanted - I’ve only had pizza once and I loved it so much so I was wondering if we could get some.”

“Yeah we can do that, let me text Seonghwa that we won’t be back for dinner.”

Seokmin just smiled, trying to resist the urge to jump up and down in excitement, truly he had made the right choice to choose Mr. Hongjoong - technically Seungkwan had beaten him, but Seungkwan wanted to go with Mr. Seonghwa so Seokmin got to go first.

“Ok, Seonghwa said that’s fine, let’s go.”

“HOOO!” Seokmin held onto the alpha’s hand and skipped at an almost unreasonable pace.

“Seokmin-ah you don’t even know where we are going.”

“We are going to get pizza!”

Mr. Hongjoong smiled, “Yes, but we can’t just skip down the street.”

“Why not?” The two had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. There were only a few people out even after the rain had stopped. Mr. Hongjoong sighed, “I can’t keep up with you that way and look at the directions, see.” Mr. Hongjoong showed Seokmin his phone that had walking directions pulled up.

“Oh. So can we slowly skip?”

“Only if you hold my hand ok?”

“OK!” Seokmin went back to skipping, Mr. Hongjoong just resigned to his fate.

Soon enough they found the pizza place, found a table and even ordered.

Seokmin chugged his water as he watched Mr. Hongjoong text on his phone.

“Are you texting Mr. Seonghwa?” Seokmin asked with a smirky tone his voice.

“Yes, Seonghwa wants a picture.”

“YAHH.”

Mr. Hongjoong took a picture and then put his phone in his pocket, “You love Mr. Seonghwa lots don’t you?”

“Of course I do. We are mates.” Seokmin sucked on his straw - only to realize that he already drank all of his water. “So you love him a lot?” Seokmin said, exaggerating the words love and lot.

“Yes Seokmin-ah.” Mr. Hongjoong took a small sip of water. That was something the Kims had in common. They both took small sips of drinks and small bites of food at a time - Seokmin didn’t get it, just shoveled it all in at one time - it was more fun that way.

“How did you meet?” Mr. Hongjoong seemed unsure if he wanted to answer the question but did so anyway. “We met at college, well actually we were roommates.”

“Oh - so you were old?”

“College isn’t old.” Mr. Hongjoong sighed, “We were nineteen I think. Seonghwa only went to college for a year before he decided to work full time, but I needed a roommate so he filled that spot so I could pay for college.”

“Hm - that’s kind of a boring love story, but at least you two are happy.” Seokmin smiled brightly as the pizza came - he was practically squealing with excitement.

“There was one time while we were waiting for court to start that Mi-sun Noona, she’s my social worker, brought me pizza because she said it was her favorite food, it was so good, it almost made me forget that I had to talk to a bunch of scary people, we had some together. She’s super nice, I see her a few times a year, she buys me milkshakes. I got lucky, none of my other brother’s have social workers that buy them milkshakes. Oh thank you so much for the pizza Mr. Hongjoong, you should eat some.”

Everything was said in one breath, yet he wasn’t talking super fast, just consistently and at an above average volume, every one of the Chois talked louder than average because they had to in order to be heard.

Mr. Hongjoong took a bite of the pizza - it was small and cautious, Seokmin considered trying to copy the size of the bite - but what would be the fun in that?

“MMhhmm, this is even better than Mi-sun Noona’s pizza!”

“You shouldn’t talk with your mouth open, you could choke.”

“Ok.” Seokmin said with his mouth full of pizza. “Oh this is so good.”

Seokmin smiled so brightly. Mr. Hongjoong reached over the table with a napkin to clean sauce off Seokmin’s face, and he laughed a bit, Mr. Hongjoong had a nice smile and laugh, it wasn’t deep or high pitched but somewhere in the middle, when he laughed his eyes were more bright. Seokmin saw Mr. Hongjoong’s wedding ring up close for the first time.

“IS THAT A REAL DIAMOND!”

Mr. Hongjoong jumped in his seat, “Uh, yes.”

“WOW. Eomma had a tiny diamond in her ring. But Appa’s ring never had a diamond, it was just plain gold, he sold it actually, the money paid for new school uniforms which was great, but I think Eomma should have to sell her ring too, but she was still wearing it, I haven’t seen her since though - I don’t ever want to see her again, she was so mean. She always said -”

“Excuse me, but could you please tell your son to keep it down?”

That was exactly what she had said - except with more shouting and some choice words.

Mr. Hongjoong turned to face the man that had said that, he was by himself, “I’m sorry, but this is a family restaurant, it says so on the sign. We weren’t disturbing you, I’m sorry if you thought that.”

Mr. Hongjoong turned back to Seokmin, the boy had gone silent.

“You can talk Seokmin-ah.” Mr. Hongjoong took another bite of his pizza. “But I was being loud. Was I being too loud? Was I obnoxious, I’m sorry-”

“Seokmin-ah you didn’t do anything wrong, you can talk as much as you like, I’ll tell you if you get too loud, but you really weren’t.”

“Really?”

“Yes Seokmin, you’re happy when you’re talking, it’s ok to talk a lot.”

“OK!” Seokmin took another bite of his pizza before talking, “Oh - there was this one time that Jihoon-hyung borrowed a guitar from the school and Mingyu was annoying him or something - but then Hyung just started chasing him around the apartment and then they had to take it to the hallway and hyung cornered Mingyu into a corner and was going to hit him with the guitar but-”

“Sir - your son is just getting louder. This is a public place if you let him be that obnoxious at home that’s just bad parenting but if you let him be that loud here that’s clear disrespect and-”

“Excuse me, but like I said earlier there isn’t a problem here, you’re the one making a problem.” Mr. Hongjoong stood up, the chair making a loud noise as it scraped the floor. Seokmin could tell that Mr. Hongjoong’s scent had changed.

The two men stared each other down for a few seconds before the other man stormed off saying, “Such disrespect in the new generation-”

“I’m sorry-“

“Seokmin-ah, don’t apologize. Do not apologize. Do not think you were doing something wrong. There are people who want to crush your personality when you’re young - don’t let them. You are so friendly and bright - keep that with you.”

To Seokmin, it almost sounded like Mr. Hongjoong was talking about a personal experience almost as if he used to be talkative and loud but somewhere along the road someone had crushed his spirit, or maybe it wasn’t Mr. Hongjoong but his mate?

“Ok, I won’t.”

“Good. Now what happened with that guitar?”

“Oh you’ll never believe it - it was super funny honestly - well Mingyu was almost crying so I guess it wasn’t funny - but it’s funny now - is that mean? Anyway Jihoon-hyung had a guitar-“

 

 

“Jihoon-Hyung.” Seokmin scream-whispered from his top bunk to the other top bunk in the room. It was late and they were supposed to be sleeping, but Seokmin wanted to tell everyone about his amazing day.

“Go to sleep Minnie.” Jihoon groaned in his sleep.

“I told Mr. Hongjoong about the guitar!”

“You did what!” Suddenly Jihoon was sitting up - almost hitting his head on the ceiling. The two cautiously looked over the edge to see Jun-Hyung and Soonyoung-hyung still sleeping soundly.

“You did what?” Jihoon said again, quieter this time.

“I told him the guitar story. It was super fun. We had pizza and then he made this mean guy leave - it was super cool to watch. If I’m an alpha I want to be able to do that, it would be so cool and I just know that-“

“Minnie - you can tell me all of tomorrow.”

…

“You’re right. Good night Hyung.”

 

<>

 

Seungkwan had heard all about his Hyungs adventure so to say he was excited about this would be an understatement.

He was currently picking out a new jacket and was torn between the bright yellow or the light pink. Appa had always told him he looked good in pink, but some of the kids at school had told him it made him look like a pig, so he chose the yellow instead.

“Are you sure Seungkwan?”

No - he really wanted the pink one, but he hated getting made fun of.

“Uh - yes?”

Mr. Seonghwa looked at him with knowing eyes, “There’s nothing wrong with pink.”

“I know. I like pink. Pink is pretty.”

“Do you like the yellow one more?”

Seungkwan looked from the pink to the yellow jacket. He really did like the pink one more.

“Uh.” Seungkwan looked at the ground and shook his head ‘no.’

“Well, do you want the pink one? It’s ok if you do or don’t.”

The eight year old sheepishly nodded. “Ok then, let’s get you the pink one.”

Maybe the kids in his class next year wouldn’t call him names?

Mr. Seonghwa purchased the jacket and the pair of shoes that Seungkwan had already chosen. They were Velcro sneakers that were super easy to put on and lit up when he walked. All his brothers were going to be jealous.

“Ok, now what do you want to do?” The two of them stood right next to the shop’s entrance. Seungkwan had thought super hard about what he wanted to do and was so proud of himself for coming up with it.

“Can we go to the store and buy a bunch of oranges?”

“Oranges? Well yes we can. Just take my hand.”

Mr. Seonghwa exited the store and took a right, “I believe this is the way but if it’s not we can take a cab.” Seungkwan was excited for everything the older man was saying, honestly he loved oranges - they were literally the world’s best food. He couldn’t wait to save them in his hands till he got home and then began eating them right in front of all his brothers all while not letting them have any.

Maybe he’d let Hansol have some … definitely not Chan.. maybe Jeonghan-hyun too…

“Ok good, I was right, here we are.” Mr. Seonghwa gestured to the large grocery store. “I’m not too familiar with this store, but I’m sure we will be able to find a few oranges.”

A few?

Was that more than two?

Seungkwan was even more happy he didn’t realize what aisle they were turning down. Mr. Seonghwa had said he wasn’t familiar with the store, so he probably hadn’t realized either, but everything was suddenly happening way too fast.

There was a lady in the aisle holding a large bottle of a cleaning substance. Mr. Seonghwa and Seungkwan were on the other side making sure that the lady had room to push her car when a man ran down the aisle holding another woman’s bag, Mr. Seonghwa pulled Seungkwan behind him. The man clashes into the woman making her drop the jug of cleaner. The man just kept running, a cashier was soon also seen on the aisle chasing the man. The cashier stopped for only a minute to make sure the woman was ok and continued chasing the man.

But Seungkwan was frozen in place - that smell.

It couldn’t be…

Why did it hurt to breathe?

“Seungkwan. Seungkwan!”

Why was he feeling like he was back home in the bathroom five years ago and his throat was burning. Seokimin-hyung was crying, Eomma was holding him down, Jisoo-hyung was shaking in the corner, Soonyoung-hyung was trying to get Eomma off of Seokmin-hyung but she was hitting him, slapping him so hard that his face was swollen.

“Seungkwan it’s alright.”

Who had picked him up? Whose scent was he smelling? It smelled like fresh laundry and sweet lemons, it almost erased the scent of the acidic bleach.

“It’s ok Seungkwan, just breath ok,” The voice was so calming, Seungkwan clung to his neck, the scent was nice and relaxing.

Distantly Seungkwan heard a rushed conversation between a woman and man about a mess and then saw another person come down the aisle with a mop. The man carried him away from the aisle and put him down. “Are you ok Seungkwan?”

Seungkwan looked up, it had been Mr. Seonghwa - it had his calming voice and his relaxing scent that had pulled Seungkwan out of whatever that had been.

“I’m ok.” Seungkwan said quietly, “I probably should have avoided that aisle - I wasn’t thinking, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok.”

Mr. Seonghwa just looked down, “I’m so sorry Seungkwan-ah.”

“It’s ok Mr. Seonghwa.” Seungkwan hugged the omega, it was nice, “I’m sorry for freaking out, I just thought - the smell reminded me of Eomma and I - I really hate her.”

“It’s ok Seungkwan.”

The two hugged for a bit longer, Mr. Seonghwa’s scent really was one of the most calming comforting scents he had ever smelt.

“Can we still get the oranges?”

Mr. Seonghwa pulled away laughing, “Yes, of course. I think the fruit is in the back maybe, definitely not down the cleaning aisle.”

The two walked hand in hand to the world’s best food.

 

<>

 

Jun frankly wasn’t expecting to have so much fun with Mr. Kim or Mr. Seonghwa as the younger kids had started calling him. But honestly shopping was fun - mainly because Jun liked seeing the expression on Mr. Seonghwa’s face when he showed him something that was clearly hideous but acted as if he loved it. He could tell Mr. Seonghwa was torn between giving his actual opinion and let Jun choose what he wanted. Jun really was just messing with him but almost did choice an obnoxious pink leopard pants just to see Mr. Seonghwa’s expression.

Jun ended up choosing a white t-shirt with some black design on the front, he didn’t really care about the design but it would match with anything so it would get a lot of use. The shirt put Mr. Seonghwa’s mind at ease.

The two had previously discussed what they were going to do, go to the mall where there was a small candy store, and then they were going to sit in the food court and talk. Honestly it sounded boring but Jun ended up loving it.

Jun got a small bag of lemon gummies from the candy store and then shared some with Mr. Seonghwa who reluctantly took one.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get into modeling?” It was a question that Jun assumed the omega had been curious about the entire extent of his stay but had waited until the right moment.

Jun popped a gummy in his mouth, “Some guy approached me on the street while I was picking up Chan from daycare, he gave me a business card when I was thirteen. I decided to call them because I was curious. Turns out it was legit. I don’t know.” Jun shrugged, “I never really pictured myself modeling but it pays pretty well. I think I want to try acting and not modeling but right now modeling is fine.”

“I see.”

“How’d you get into modeling?”

Mr. Seonghwa clearly hadn’t been expecting the question but seemed perfectly content answering it, “I got scouted when I was sixteen three times, but I wanted to focus on my schooling, but when it happened again when I was seventeen I decided to just go for it. That’s how I saved up and paid for college.”

“That’s cool. Did you really pay for all of college with just - just the paycheck?” Even though Jun was decently satisfied with his paycheck, he couldn’t think of any way that it could get him through college.

“I never actually graduated, I decided to drop out and just focus on modeling my sophomore year.”

“Ah, I see.”

“I don't know if I regret it. I was in college for office administration with a minor in professional writing. I’m technically an author now so I guess it wasn’t a total waste, but I’ve never worked in an office.”

“Appa says that college isn’t for everyone and that not everyone should go. Some people should just go into the workforce, but he never did go to college.”

Seonghwa nodded, “I do agree with him. If you aren’t sure what you want to do, I’d say working a year or two is better than just spending money on a degree you might never use, but I’m glad I went.”

“Why?”

Mr. Seonghwa got a distant glint in his eyes, almost as if their were sparkles in them, “It’s were I met Hongjoong, the rest is history.” Mr. Seonghwa absentmindedly fidgeted with his wedding ring.

“How did you two meet?” Honestly Jun liked drama when it didn’t deal with him, and would totally play matchmaker with his siblings if any of them were interested in dating - unfortunately they were all far too scared to even think of having a relationship, even friendships were rare amongst his brothers outside the family.

“It was the second semester of sophomore year, I had just dropped out and needed a place to stay, Hongjoong’s roommate had graduated the previous semester so he needed a roommate, he posted an add and I responded to it.”

“So you were roommates?” Jun raised his eyebrows completely inconspicuously, Seonghwa definitely didn’t see what he was getting at, “Yes we were. And that really is how we started off but it did eventually grow into something more. There were several struggles. He had had a bad previous relationship and I had never been in a real relationship so we both had to learn to grow and work through things, but everything worked out.”

Jun smiled as he listened to the story. He wished his parents had had a similar story or even his birth mother, but everything he knew made him wish it was more normal.

Appa had been going out with Her for several months when she presented early and against both of their better judgment they spent her heat together, a little less than 9 months later Jeonghan and Jisoo were born and the rest was history.

“Honestly we were both so different back then I’m surprised everything worked out.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing.”

Jun knew Mr. Seonghwa wasn’t telling the whole truth but it was probably deeply private, besides Jun had gotten a nice love story and wonderful lemon candy. He was sure he had gained weight since the rule swap but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

He liked being able to move and not see his bones. He liked his wrist bones not poking out so much, plus according to Mingao his shoulder was much more comfortable to sleep on. His siblings had a habit of falling asleep on him, he didn’t mind, he was just glad that maybe those naps would be more comfortable.

Mr. Seonghwa looked down at his watch and sighed, “I’m really sorry but we need to head back.”

“Ah - that is unfortunate, I’m sure you enjoyed hanging out with your favorite Choi son.”

Mr. Seonghwa looked at him incredulously, obviously Jun was joking, “I’m joking, Chan is your actual favorite, that's ok. He’s all of our favorites but he can’t know that or he’ll get a big head.”

The two laughed easily about that and started walking off.

That was the best part of the day, talking and laughing easily, it’s what Jun like doing. Sure he enjoyed taking care of and caring for his siblings but he liked joking around and laughing with them too, he hoped one day that there would be more laughing than crying and hiding of feelings in the Choi household.

 

<>

 

Just breath Soonyoung.

That’s what he kept telling himself, but it was getting harder and harder. Mr. Seonghwa had left with Jun, the twins were preoccupied with the younger ones and Soonyoung was trying to sneak off… correction - exit with style that wouldn’t be obvious that he was about to meet with THE Pi Cheolin and maybe, possibly jumpstart his future.

But he couldn’t do any of that until he got out of the apartment with a somewhat believable excuse.

“Uh Hyung.”

“Yeah.” Jisoo looked at him from his spot on the couch, half of his brothers were watching a drama, there were English subtitles on it for Jisoo to practice his English, the other half were dispersed between playing games and doing laundry (the last category was just Mingyu because he lost a game).

“I’m going out with Doyoung, I’ll be back.” Soonyoung turned to leave while Jisoo just stared confused, “Uh - ok, stay safe. Say hi to Doyoung-ah for me.”

“Yeah yeah I will.”

He would have gone to Jeonghan-hyung but his eldest brother would have been able to tell he was lying from a mile away and Soonyoung couldn't risk getting caught while he was at such a crucial moment. Truth be told there was no reason for Soonyoung not to tell his brothers everything, except there was a chance they would hate the idea of his becoming an idol and Soonyoung wasn’t sure if he could take that kind of rejection.

He brushed those thoughts aside and though and walked to the bus stop. BOMG was about a fifteen minute trip away from his home. He found a secluded spot on the bus and sat there, his arms folded around his middle in an almost protective gesture.

He had thought about what exactly he would do, he knew he could dance. But being an idol was so much more than dancing, plus would Soonyoung even enjoy it? Was his dream just a foolish childish fantasy or could it be legitimate?

“Focus!” Soonyoung lurched forward in his chair and then immediately sat back when he noticed that some of the other passengers were staring at him. Well that was embarrassing

Realistically, how bad could it be? Pi Cheolin himself had recognized talent - that had to mean something.

As the bus stopped, Soonyoung siked himself up. He was going to dance to Lucifer by Shinnee and then he was going to sing - well he was only going to sing if Pi Cheolin asked him to sing, he had nothing prepared. Nevertheless, Soonyoung gathered his faculties and exited the bus. He walked just one block before seeing the small building labeled BOMG, but what surprised him most was that a familiar face was standing outside the building.

“Doyoung?”

“Soonyoung?”

The two stared at each other - it was comical honestly. “Did Pi Cheolin give you a business card as well?”

“Yes - I can’t believe this, I thought it was just me. You don’t think-”

“I mean - if he gave both of us cards then it would make sense.”

“Well we should probably go in and -”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Hyung!” The two boys stared at their friend Hyungwon who was approaching the same way Soonyoung had come.

“I guess he just liked the performance.” Hyungwon said contemplatively.

“Well we killed it.” Soonyoung said matter of factly.

Doyoung smiled, “I guess we did, we should go in though.”

“Yeah, there’s no sense waiting out here, let’s go.” Hyungwon led them in. He might have gotten their last, but he was still the oldest. Soonyoung knew he was the dance team leader, but he still trusted Hyungwon to lead them in situations in which Soonyoung didn’t really know what to do. After all, he knew how to dance, but he had never been to an audition.

Hyungwon had done modeling before as well as several auditions. Doyoung had done separate singing competitions as well as been involved with school musicals, what had Soonyoung done?

The trio made it further into the building and were directed down a hallway and into a mirrored room, which Soonyoung assumed was a practice room. They were told to sit on a black couch and wait for the CEO to come.

Soonyoung just spiraled deeper and deeper into his thoughts.

Both Hyungwon and Dooyoung had both of their parents and although they both came from large families (each having four brothers) it wasn’t in the double digits.

“Are you nervous?” Doyoung asked, to neither of them in particular, it was more breaking the silence in the room.

“Yeah - who wouldn’t be.” Hyungwon responded quickly and confidently. Soonyoung would have to pretend to be able to be so confident in saying that he was nervous.

“It’ll be fine guys, we’re pretty awesome.” Soonyoung tried to lighten the mood, “Just don’t be upset if it doesn’t go well, I tried JYP and Pledis and both rejected me.”

“I thought you tried for YG too?”

“Uh - I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Well I guess it’s a good time to say it.”

“Say what?” What had Doyoung been hiding?

“Well - I got scouted by SM at the last school musical, and I haven’t given them an answer because I got the business card and I thought that this would be better.”

“Wow.”

“Really?”

Doyoung looked down, embarrassed, but it shouldn’t be shocking at all, after all Soonyoung knew he was an amazing singer he had grown up surrounded by music, his father ran a musical podcast which he rated music shows and talked about music in general.

And Hyungwon - well - he had auditioned for companies before it was no secret that all three boys had dreams of becoming idols but each knew it was impractical to dream of making it together.

Suddenly there was no time to worry as the door swung open loudly and an old man came in wearing a light pink collared shirt with small suns printed on it, a blue cardigan that had a button dangling on by a thread, tan pants held up with a black belt that seemed way to high and on his face he wore his signature rectangular classes. The three boys stood out of respect and bowed a full 90 degrees.

“Ah ah no need for that - sit down - please I invited you three here.” Pi Cheolin waved his arms in an exaggerated fashion, his country-side accent showed through every word, it was almost endearing in a sense.

Slowly the three of them sat down, the CEO sat down in an empty chair that he took from the corner. He sighed loudly when he sat done and smiled as he looked at each of the boys.

“I’m so glad all of you came, this is an audition for BOMG but I must say, if you want a spot in the company feel free to have it - really this audition is just a formality.”

The boys sat with their mouths open.

The CEO laughed, it was rich and hearty, “You’ll catch flies if you keep your mouths open like that, I’d now - I used to play a game with my brother back in the day before all these smartphones and - oh that reminds me, Soonyoung-ah you don’t have a smartphone correct?”

“Uh - yes sir, but I’m getting one for my sixteenth birthday which is in - uh three weeks.”

Was it really three weeks?

Appa wouldn’t even be home then, it was Jun’s birthday even sooner.

“No that’s ok, communication can happen without smartphones, back in my day we communicated with carrier pigeons.”

Was that supposed to be a joke, because Soonyoung was laughing. Doyoung and Hyungwon looked horrified but the CEO began laughing too, making the other two join nervously, “That was a joke, we did throw rocks with notes attached.” He laughed again.

Should Soonyoung be concerned?

“Well, if any of you prepared something, I’d love to see it but I just wanted to go over the parameters of what becoming an idol under BOMG means. As you know I have several artists. BSS is definitely the most famous, but Gentlefolk are also under us now and I have the solo artists as well, Charles, Leo and Minnie. I originally wanted to create a girl group, they are very popular in Korea you see - but then I thought I should make it global. Boy groups are very popular out west and when I saw you three perform I knew that this was the start.” He talked excitedly as if he was telling a grand story.

“Do you just want to make us into a group?” Hyungwon asked.

“Not just you - three member groups have their benefits, but I was thinking a four or five member group so you three are just the start.”

The three just sat their shocked, “I can’t believe this honestly.” Soonyoung said, “Yes yes it’s quite shocking but I believe that you three are the start of something very special, of course you don’t have to decide today and I would definitely like to see what else you three are capable of so I can begin to arrange proper training for you three. So who would like to start?”

It was too soon, Soonyoung wasn’t ready - but Doyoung looked like he was about to freak out, Soonyoung looked to Hyungwon for help, the older just sighed and stood up, “I can go first. I don’t mind.”

“Excellent, Excellent!” The CEO clapped his hands together and sat forward in anticipation. “Now what are you going to do?”

Hyungwon stood in the center of the room, “A dance cover of ‘How Long’ by Charlie Puth.”

“Oh dance cover- exciting, I will set up music.” The CEO shuffled over to the sound equipment in the corner and began furiously messing with it.

The three boys looked at each other in confusion, it was obvious that Hyungwon wanted to go over and try and help but wasn’t sure how, but after the CEO resorted to hitting the equipment multiple times and letting out a slew of rather colorful language, Hyungwon went over to help him play the music on the speaker. Soonyoung and Doyoung silently laughed for a few seconds but stopped immediately when their friend began to dance.

It was an original choreo, the three had made original choreos before, but for some reason watching one from the sidelines was so different. Hyungwon’s dancing was almost intoxicating. It wasn’t overly sensual or mature, he was only seventeen afterall, but it was perfectly executed with almost a lazy confidence if that made any sense.

After he was done the CEO gave a loud applause, “Excellent, just Excellent, I know talent when I see it, now which one of you wants to go next?”

Soonyoung went to stand but Doyoung beat him to it and was already walking to where Hyungwon had been standing, and fiddled with the speaker before saying, “I’m going to sing Falling by Harry Styles.”

“Sing - even better, I didn’t know you sang.” Doyoung just smiled shyly and looked at the gound as the music started. The sound that followed was pure brilliance. How was Soonyoung going to follow this?

Hyungwon squeezed his knee, “You got this, just show him what you can do.”

Soonyoung just smiled and looked straight ahead - as Doyoung finished, the CEO once again clapped and then gestured for Soonyoung to come.

“And what are you going to do?”

“Uh - Lucifer by Shinee.”

Soonyoung watched as everyone audibly or inaudibly gasped. The dance team was originally supposed to perform Lucifer at the festival but they had concluded that it was too hard and that they wouldn’t be able to perfect it in time, which is why they switched and did ‘Love me Like this’ which was still difficult because it was a completely different mood switch but it was nothing in comparison to Lucifer.

Soonyoung just breathed and waited for the music to start, he could do it, he could - he had practiced it a million times in the cramped space of his room or in the hallway of the apartment building.

Even when he wasn’t focusing on the dance his muscle memory followed.

Every section was slightly different - but that was the beauty of Shinee - one of the many reasons Hoshi loved them so much.

By the end he was breathing hard and just glad to be done, the applause was just a bonus, the performance hadn’t been perfect - there had been dozens of mistakes, but mistakes were ok right now. The CEO had already said he wanted them, he couldn’t take those words back now.

Soonyoung went back to his seat on the couch, Hyungwon and Doyoung congratulated him, he did the same for them. They had all killed it.

“Now I just wanted to give a few comments, but like I said before, if you wish to be an artist BOMG will gladly have you. Hyungwon-ah, I have to say you dance very well for being in the middle of a growth spurt. Your movements are very fluid. I am curious, have you been scouted before?”

Hyungwon nodded nervously, “Don’t be shy about that - I take it as a good thing, it means more people recognize your talent and skills, you also have incredible posture - have you been a trainee before?”

“No, I have worked as a model.”

“Of course you have, you are very handsome. It’s a useful skill to be handsome, it’s a great way to promote the future group, don’t be ashamed about that.”

“Yes sir.”

“Doyoung-ah.”

“Yes sir.”

“You sing as if you just went through your second divorce and all your children just died, truly it’s incredible. Look at the audience more. It’s just me right now, but one day you’ll have thousands of fans, you are much better at singing than I originally thought. Also, do you speak English? The song was in English so I have no idea what it was about, but your pronunciation seemed good.”

“I only speak a little, my dad is from Chicago, he helped me with the pronunciation.”

“Oh oh.” The old man nodded excitedly, “Interesting. Now, Soonyoung, when I saw you dance at the festival I knew you were good but today you showed a different side. Shinee is a very different style than what most people are used to, but you pulled it off well, I did notice a few small mistakes, but you aren’t debuting tomorrow so there’s time to fix those.”

Soonyoung nodded, “Now thank you for coming to BOMG, if you would like to continue with this company please contact me directly from the number on the card or simply tell the kind receptionist that you wish to be an artist and I can start writing up trainee contracts. Thank you again, I’m sure you can see yourselves out. I have a meeting with Gentlefolk’s manager in five minutes. I hope to see you all soon.”

 

The last hours had literally been insane. How was Soonyoung supposed to keep it all a secret?

 

It was his turn to go out with Mr. Hongjoong which according to all of his brothers that had already had their experiences was a lot of fun, but Soonyoung really didn’t know what he could talk about without spilling his guts about the sorta audition and what he wanted his next course of action to be.

 

“Do you want any toppings on the ice cream?”

 

Right - he was getting ice cream.

 

“Uh - can I get some chocolate syrup on it?”

 

“Of course.” The ice cream shop worker said, drizzling some syrup on the cup of ice cream and then handing it, along with a spoon, to the tee. Mr. Hongjoong paid and took his ice cream as well.

 

Soonyoung ate his ice cream quickly yet still savored each bite. The pair walked out of the store and to a park bench across the street. The sun was just starting to set, but the area was still well lit.

 

“What did you do today?” Mr. Hongjoong asked casually, Soonyoung tensed. “What did they tell you?”

 

Mr. Hongjoong looked back at Soonyoung confused, “They didn’t tell me anything, should they have?”

 

Crap

 

Had Soonyoung just exposed himself? He took another bite of ice cream completely ignoring the question.

 

“Soonyoung-ah, did something happen today?”

 

How was Soonyoung supposed to avoid this, “I - uh - hung out with Doyoung, he’s my friend - uh in the dance group - he’s uh the one whose dad was recording everything and -”

 

“Soonyoung-ah, you’re rambling. Are you sure you hung out with Doyoung?”

 

“Yes?”

 

Technically he had…

 

“That sounds like a question.”

 

Soonyoung went to take another bite of his ice cream, only to realize that he had somehow already finished it. Soonyoung looked around for a trashcan, he found one at the end of the bench, threw away the container and stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. “Soonyoung - you don’t have to tell me everything, but it’s not safe for you to just go out by yourself.” Mr. Hongjoong didn’t move from the bench, he just sat there unmoving, carefully watching Soonyoung.

 

“I - uh - I can explain everything!” Soonyoung sat back down on the bench and spilled everything, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. “At the school festival Pi Cheolin - yes the Pi Cheolin - approached me and gave me a business card, saying he wanted me to audition for BOMG - I know me, crazy. Anyway I went there today only to find out that he had given one to Hyungwon and Doyoung - so I did technically hang out with Doyoung - but then we did the audition and he said that if we wanted to be artist he’d take us, train us and work hard to put together a group so that we could debut, which is amazing I know. But I didn’t tell anyone cause if I failed they’d never stop teasing me, but if I succeeded then I’d have to ask Appa and can be scary sometimes and already doesn’t like Jun modeling - he’d never approve of this even if I really think this is what I’m supposed to do and well - people like me aren’t ever going to get another chance - I’m not a great singer like Doyoung - I’m not super handsome like Hyungwon - all I can do is dance - so I need to take this shot.”

 

“Soonyoung.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Does Jun enjoy modeling?”

 

What kind of question was that? “No.”

 

“Well - do you enjoy dancing?”

 

“Yes - is that even a question - yes.” Soonyoung really had no clue where he was going with this.

 

“Does your Appa not like Jun modeling because he doesn’t like it or because Jun doesn’t like it?”

 

“Huh - I uh - Appa doesn’t like it because he thinks it makes Jun do too much when he could care less about being a model and it puts so much pressure that’s completely unnecessary.”

 

“Well then - would your Appa keep you from doing something you loved when he didn’t stop your brother from doing something that he didn’t really care for but still wanted to do?”

 

So that’s where he was going with it.

 

“I guess not.”

 

“Well then - you have nothing to fear when you ask your Appa.”

 

Mr. Hongjoong was right - there was absolutely nothing to fear.

 

<>

 

Wonwoo had wanted books, so Mr. Seonghwa had taken him to a used bookstore so he could pick out more than one after they had gone clothes shopping.

 

Wonwoo really enjoyed the smell of old books, it was comforting and refreshing.

 

He immediately went to the non-fiction section and began searching through to find any entry level law books. Law books were expensive so if Wonwoo could find some here he’d get a head start when he eventually went to law school.

 

Seonghwa followed dutifully behind - surprised when he looked at the section that Wonwoo was looking at, but said nothing.

 

After a quick look Wonwoo found what he was looking for.

 

“Family law” Wonwoo pulled the book out - it was almost falling apart, one look and you could tell that the previous owner had loved it - or rather hated it. There were notes in the margin of almost every page, sections highlighted and tabs on the side. Wonwoo looked at the price - still cheaper than buying it new - but too expensive to buy another book, that was ok.

 

“I found what I was looking for.”

 

Mr. Seonghwa looked at Wonwoo and then the book, “Are you sure?”

 

Wonwoo nodded firmly, and then pushed his glasses up his nose which had begun slipping.

 

“Well ok, may I see the book so I can pay for it.” Wonwoo handed Mr. Seonghwa the book and followed the omega who went to pay for it at the counter. He paid and then handed the book back to Wonwoo.

 

“Thank you Mr. Seonghwa.”

 

“Of course.” The two walked out of the store and began walking back to the bus stop, it was going to be a long walk since the bookstore had been really out of the way.

 

“So, you want to be a lawyer when you grow up?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What made you want that?” It wasn’t accusatory - it was purely curiosity.

 

“I don’t want anyone else to have to cope with the fact that their abuser will get out early and not serve as long as they should.”

 

Mr. Seonghwa stopped in his tracks, it seemed as if he was putting two and two together, “When does - when does she get out of prison?”

 

“It’s supposed to be in ten years - but - but she’ll never serve her full sentence, it’s not how these things work, especially someone like her that's good at manipulating. I’ll be lucky to graduate high school before she gets out. And there aren’t any laws that protect us from her once she gets out. If she wanted she could show up to school or any place we were, or she could rent an apartment right next door. You can’t get a restraining order because of something that happened so long ago, plus there were no crimes committed against Chan - as far as we know - I think she still has parental rights - she could file for custody and - and I don’t want that to happen. That’s why I want to become a lawyer.”

 

“I really respect that Wonwoo-ah - but that’s not your responsibility.”

 

“I know - but I’m going to make it mine. I want to take care of my family in a way I was never able to. I was too young to do anything. I’m still young - but my youth is my advantage - I’ll be graduating high school almost two years early - it gives me time to work for money or have multiple attempts at the bar exam.”

 

Mr. Seonghwa sighed - he seemed to want to say something else but instead just said, “Well Wonwoo-ah, I wish you nothing but the best. I believe in you.”

 

<>

 

Chocolate Milk - honestly why was Hansol so easy to please?

 

Hansol had also been easy to please choosing clothes. He walked in - was immediately attracted to tie dye - chose a shirt and handed it to Seonghwa in less than a minute. Seonghwa didn’t question it.

 

Seonghwa believed it was best to just let kids express themselves with fashion to a certain extent - there had to be some embarrassing photos to show their future mates … not that Seonghwa was prepared to think about that…

 

“Can I get another one?” Hansol asked, Seonghwa looked at his carton, sure enough all the milk was gone. “Sure, I’ll get you one more, come inside with me though.”

 

“Ok.” The two had been sitting on a bench outside a convenience store. According to Hansol, the best chocolate milk was sold there. Seonghwa didn’t drink any so he didn’t know but decided to trust the seven-year-old’s opinion.

 

Seonghwa picked up another carton and went to check out as Hansol trailed behind him. Hansol liked Mr. Seonghwa - he thought maybe he was kind of weird - who actually liked cleaning? Mingyu-hyung - and Mingyu-hyung was weird. Hansol believed he was the most normal, his brothers said otherwise - but at the end of the day there probably wasn’t a normal Choi.

 

Mr. Seonghwa was nice though - he smelled nice and acted nice and not just nice in front of other adults. Hansol didn’t really trust many omegas, they seemed fake to him, but Mr. Seonghwa seemed real somehow even if sometimes he seemed unnaturally perfect.

 

Voices startled Hansol from behind, “Why are their foreigners here? Seriously, why can’t they just stick to tourist traps? Korea should be full of Koreans, not foreigners.”

 

Seonghwa turned around, and grabbed Hansol’s hand, “Yikes - the kid is a halter and not -”

 

“Would you mind your own business?”

Hansol stared up at the omega. The people behind him stopped talking, Had they been talking about him?

Hansol never got why people made fun of him.

He was Korean, born and raised their, both of his parents were Koreans - just because he looked different didn’t change the truth… it was the truth after all … right?

“Sorry - we thought your son was just lost. Foreigners don’t tend to-”

“I’m not foreign.” Hansol didn’t understand why the adults just stared at him. He was just being honest.

The strangers looked between Mr. Seonghwa and Hansol, “He must have never told him, son-”

“I’m not your son. My name is Choi Hansol, I’m Korean just like you. Can we go now?”

“Uh - yes, Hansol-ah.”

Mr. Seonghwa began to lead Hansol out of the store, “You shouldn’t lie to your kid.”

Mr. Seonghwa didn’t respond, he just kept walking, keeping a firm grip on Hansol’s hand. Once outside Mr. Seonghwa handed the carton of milk to him, “Thank you.” Hansol calmly drank his chocolate milk - the convenient store really did sell the best chocolate milk.

Hansol kept walking calmly next to Mr. Seonghwa, the older man seemed troubled by something, but Hansol didn’t understand what. Could it be the earlier conversation? Conversations like those normally made Appa angry - Appa was scary when he was angry - he would never hurt his sons - but he might hurt those that dared hurt his sons.

Mr. Seonghwa though didn’t seem angry but rather stressed. Hansol had been told that caring full a lot of kids could cause someone to be stressed - or maybe it was conflict. Hansol had been told that some people didn’t like conflict - like Wonwoo-hyung, Hansol didn’t get it.

Just say things how they are?

Set people straight - don’t be mean about it - just honest.

“Mr. Seonghwa.”

“Yes, Hansol-ah.”

“The bus stop - we passed it.”

“Oh - sorry Hansol, you're right.”

“I know.” Mr. Seonghwa cracked a smile, “Yes - you are.”

 

<>

 

Even though Jihoon had had a heart to heart with Mr. Hongjoong the time they were supposed to spend together still felt awkward. Jihoon had tried to take his advice, and had written several notes, not that he had told any of his brothers any thing. He didn’t tell anyone anything, but many of his brothers hid their true feelings - some just hid them better.

The twins hid behind responsibility- Soonyoung hid behind jokes - Wonwoo just remained silent - Seokmin hid behind a large smile - Mingyu didn’t hide, that’s why everyone teased him, they knew he was genuine they wanted him to think they were too. Minghao remained silent but his facial expressions spoke volumes - Seungkwa was honest to a fault and vocal about everything - Hansol although honest was often lost in his head and Chan - well - he was five - what did he know?

“Jihoon-ah, are you ready to order?”

“Oh - uh yes.”

Mr. Hongjoong had taken Jihoon to a small family restaurant. Jihoon ordered two servings of rice and a side of spicy chicken - there was nothing else worth eating honestly.

“So I heard you play the clarinet?”

Was Mr. Hongjoong trying to make small talk? Jihoon hated small talk - it was so irrelevant and useless it just took up audible space.

“Yeah.”

“If you don’t mind me asking - why did you stop?”

Jihoon did mind. He hadn’t told anyone the reason, he had played for three years - he was actually pretty good - but it would never work out.

“It’s a stupid dream. I should be more realistic.” Jihoon drank some of his coke, hoping Mr. Hongjoong would just move on.

“People called my dream of becoming a designer stupid.”

“Yeah - but I’m sure you have talent or something.”

“Jisoo showed me a recording, I’m not a musician but you sounded very good.”

“Tt - just good doesn’t get you anywhere in music. You have to be more than good - you have to be perfect and you have to have something special - I’m neither.”

Mr. Hongjoong was silent. Had Jihoon finally succeeded in getting him to stop talking?

“Jihoon-ah.” Nope “You know - your still young, there’s plenty of time to improve and-”

“I don’t have good enough lung capacity.”

“What?”

“That’s what my band director told me, it makes sense. I was born almost an entire month premature, I can’t fix that, but that means that I could never be a professional so I gave up on music.”

The food got there - finally. Jihoon scarfed down the rice and chicken while Mr. Hongjoong took careful bites of his pasta while holding his fork like a weapon - it was weird.

“There’s aspects in music that don’t involve having a large lung capacity.”

Jihoon scoffed, “Yeah - I could play the violin except I’m 12 - way too old to catch up with child prodigies that have played since they were two.”

“I wasn’t even thinking that. What about conducting - or - or composing?”

Conducting?

Composing?

Jihoon had never thought about that.

He didn’t say anything though - he just kept eating.

Mr. Hongjoong sighed, and kept eating. “You know Jihoon-ah, I think you could do anything you put you’re mind to.”

“You barely know me.”

“You’re right, but I think I know enough.” Jihoon just scoffed, but something deep inside began to rumble. Honestly he hadn’t ever thought about it - but surely Mr. Hongjoong didn’t know what he was talking about.

Jihoon couldn’t possibly -

Could he?

 

<>

 

Mingyu had been perfectly satisfied to stay at home and clean baseboards. Mr. Seonghwa had taught him what baseboards were and how to clean them and honestly Mingyu hadn’t known that a single part of a home could be so dirty, but from now on he would be cleaning baseboards once every two weeks per Mr. Seonghwa’s suggestion.

Truly Mingyu believed that he was Mr. Seonghwa’s favorite, but then again he was no one's favorite, except maybe Wonwoo-hyung, but he was a high schooler and didn’t need to be hanging around a kid that was still in elementary school.

“Mingyu-ah, aren’t you going to choose something?” Mr. Seonghwa gestured to the racks of clothing. “Uh - yes.” Mingyu went and looked, it took him a few minutes but he eventually found what he was looking for.

A clean - stain free - dress shirt. Mingyu had always wanted to dress up and look nice, but he more often than not ended up wearing the clothes that had been passed down for every one of his brothers. The clothes that didn’t have holes or stains were clothes from when Eomma was still there. Girl shirts and pants in light colors or short shorts. The first time Mingyu had worn them his brothers all stared at him like he was a freak.

He didn’t know anything about Eomma forcing them to wear those things, and if she did then why hadn’t they gotten rid of them? Eomma had never forced Mingyu to wear clothes like that. She hit him sure - but he had deserved that, and even the hitting, Mingyu didn’t have scars on his calves like Jihoon-hyung and Soonyoung-hyung.

Eomma had hit him on the back and on the arms - but never with a metal ruler. It had mainly been random objects she found that she threw at him.

It really hadn’t been that bad - at least for Mingyu. He knew it was worse for his Hyungs, yet they couldn’t talk about it.

“Do you want to pick out a pair of shoes too?”

“Can I?”

“Of course, all your brothers could.”

“Oh - I thought they were teasing me and not being serious.” Mingyu really didn’t mind his brother's teasing. It made him feel loved - they were taking time to think of reasons to tease him which meant they were thinking about him. It was sweet when you thought of it like that.

Mingyu picked out new school shoes that were a size too big. He’d grow into them by the start of next year.

“Those are a little big Mingyu-ah.”

“I know. I won’t be able to wear them right now, but when I can it will make me even happier because I had to wait.” Mr. Seonghwa just gave him a confused yet pleasant smile, everything about the omega was pleasant. Mingyu wished one day to be like that.

An Eomma his kids could actually love and not ignore her memory and wish that she never existed.

Mr. Seonghwa bought the clothing, and handed the bag to Mingyu.

“Now where would you like to go?”

“Uh - can we go back home?”

“Mingyu-ah.”

“I like home. I want to go clean the baseboards again.”

“Why don’t we go to the park? There’s probably kids your age playing soccer or something.”

“I’m not allowed to play soccer.”

“Why not?”

“There’s no way to practice sports in our apartment, so we can’t play them.”

“Mingyu-ah, just cause you couldn’t participate in school sports doesn’t mean you can’t have fun outside of school. Plus there’s no guarantee there will be kids playing soccer, they might be throwing a frisbee or just playing on the playground.”

“Ok.”

“So do you want to go? You don’t have to, we could just take a long walk to the bus stop and go home.”

“That sounds fun!”

Mr. Seonghwa sighed, but held Mingyu’s hand and began a walk riddled with debtors back to the bus stop.

 

<>

 

Jeonghan had purposefully almost lost. His brothers would say there was no way you could purposefully lose rock paper scissors and then suddenly win when you decided to, but Jeonghan knew they just weren’t smart enough to figure out how to do it.

He should have been a good Hyung and gone first. Scoped out what exactly was going to happen so he could prepare his brothers, but Jisoo had looked so happy at the thought of getting out of the apartment and spending time with Mr. Seonghwa.

Jeonghan didn’t dislike the omega - or his alpha partner if he was honest - which he was - most of the time…

Jeonghan knew the couple had done their best and that most people probably would have left the show the moment they knew they were taking care of twelve boys, or when it became clear that the family just wasn’t normal. When Jisoo hyung had freaked out after boys had terrorized him or during his subsequent panic attack. They should have left when Soonyoung spilled their secrets or when Seungkwan freaked out in the grocery store because of course the outings wouldn’t be drama free.

It always had to be something. Jeonghan didn’t blame his younger brother - quite the opposite really - but he hated that he had expected something to go wrong.

Jeonghan absentmindedly chose a plain gray sweatshirt - it was oversized and made of a good material so it would last a long time.

He picked out shoes too. Jeonghan didn’t know where the couple was getting this money - surely a designer and author could only get paid so much. According to google searches through Mr. Seongwha was still technically a model for a fashion brand and a cosmetics brand, so maybe he got paid royalties.

Googling had been a bit confusing at first because the only thing that came up under Kim Seonghwa was his book - it wasn’t until Jeonghan found his maiden name Park Seonghwa that he had found anything useful.

It was probably an invasion of privacy, but Jeonghan didn’t mind - he’d do anything if it meant keeping his brothers safe.

Mr. Seonghwa paid at the register, calmly flashing his wedding ring when the cashier tried to flirt with him.

Was there really no hope in the world?

Jeonghan knew there were terrible horrendous people in the world. He had met several, too many. But why did horrible people have to not just torment those “weaker” than them but also those that they viewed as void of literal human decency .

It was sick, but it was one of the reasons Jeonghan had given up on living life to the fullest. He had his brothers and Appa, he didn’t need anything else.

“Now, where do you want to go?” Mr. Seonghwa looked at him expectantly. “I would like caviar.”

Jeonghan reveled in how the omega’s eyes got large, clearly shocked at Jeonghan’s request. The teen wanted to test the limit of generosity.

“Well - I can’t think of any place that would sell caviar without a reservation. Have you even ever had caviar before?”

Was he truly being serious?

Was he actually considering Jeonghan’s lie as the truth?

“Uh - have you?”

“Yes, a few times. I didn’t enjoy it all that much, but I was expected to at least try all that served, but never actually finish the plate.”

Jeonghan didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Uh - can we get some stew then?”

“Yes, of course. Do you want to walk around a bit and eat it closer to dinner or are you fine eating right now?”

“Right now is fine.”

“Ok then, let’s go.”

The two walked in mostly silence. Jeonghan didn’t know what to say, but thought that he should say something, “I’ve never had any - uh caviar, I’ve never had caviar.”

Mr. Seonghwa nodded, “I didn’t think you had, but you never know. Why did you want to go have some?”

“Well - I wanted to see how you would react to a completely ludicrous suggestion.”

“It wasn’t ludicrous, maybe a bit strange, but not stranger than anything else that has happened, ah here we are.”

The two walked into the small restaurant, “Joong takes me here on our dates sometimes, they are known for their stew so it will taste good.” He gave a reassuring smile. He was completely at ease with sharing bits and pieces of his private life.

Jeonghan sometimes wished he could feel the same way, but it was likely a hopeless desire.

The two ordered and the food came with little discussion. “Do you have any plans after high school?”

So it was going to be small talk aka torture in his politest form.

“Uh - not really. I’ll probably just get a job, you know, do my best to become another cog in the machine of capitalism.”

“It almost sounds eloquent when you put it like that. Have you considered becoming a poet?” Jeonghan knew he was joking, but it was friendly. That’s just how the omega was. He was friendly and warm, all things Jeonghan tried to be to his brothers but often failed at. He would do his best to listen but sometimes they wouldn’t want someone to just listen but to help them fix the problem, Jeonghan could never tell which they wanted though.

“Jisoo’s good at poetry.” Where had that come from? He shouldn’t be giving away his brother's secrets. Only was that a secret? Anyone that knew Jisoo knew he was good at poetry.

“Oh?” Mr. Seonghwa was now curious- great job Jeonghan.

“Yeah - sometimes we play a game of acrostic poems. We call it Rhyme Time, I know it’s a terrible name but we thought it was clever when we were kids so it just stuck.”

“I’ll have to see his skills for myself when we get back.”

The conversation died a bit before Seonghwa picked it up again, “You’re still young Jeonghan-ah, you're allowed to aspire to be more than just a cog in a machine.”

“It’s not likely though.”

“What’s not likely?”

“Well - you know - you need a good degree to succeed or you need a good name, I won’t ever have either.”

Mr. Seonghwa put down his utensils, “Jeonghan, I never graduated college yet most people would find me successful, and not just me - thousands of others did poorly in school and still ended up successful. A good name might get your foot in the door easier but it’s not a guarantee to not get a position. You’ve clearly thought about this though- you are smart Jeonghan, and you are very good with your words. I’m confident you could do anything you put your mind to.”

“That’s what a parent is supposed to say.”

“Does your Appa say what I am saying?”

He did - he does.

What kind of hole had Jeonghan dug for himself?

“Appa wants us to be the best we can be, he doesn’t want our situation to limit us.”

“Then don’t allow it to.”

“You say it like it’s simple.”

“It’s a simple thought and idea, but not a simple process. You will have to fight to succeed but it makes the result more satisfying.”

Jeonghan took several more bites of the stew - it was good just like Mr. Seonghwa had promised, but it wasn’t good enough to take his thoughts fully away from what the omega was saying.

Jeonghan had always wanted to be rich, perhaps it was a foolish desire from growing up first poor but it was a fact.

“I want to make money. I want to talk into a room and people stare because they know I’m good at what I do and are intimidated by it.”

“Well that is a dream Jeonghan, and there’s no need for you to give up on that.”

“It will never happen though.”

“Well, you’ll never know until you try.”

What did the omega know?

Was he actually successful?

Did he actually know what he was talking about?

There was no way he did. Jeonghan couldn’t succeed in life… it wasn’t possible.

 

<>

 

Chan knew that most people view being the youngest as an incredible feat. Even at five years old he knew other kids his age that told him he was lucky he was the youngest.

But honestly what was so great about it?

It just meant you were last at everything.

Last to eat - last to be counted - last in every competition.

He wasn’t spoiled.

Appa said no to him.

All of his hyungs said no to him.

So really there were no benefits of being the youngest.

Mr. Hongjoong stopped walking and looked at Chan, “Do you want me to carry you?”

Chan thought about it for a moment, he ended up getting carried a lot because he was shorter than everyone. Sometimes he took it as a challenge and raced to be up at the front, but other times he just enjoyed becoming the tallest.

“Can I go on your shoulders?”

“Of course.” Mr. Hongjoong picked him up and put him on his shoulders. Mr. Hongjoong wasn’t as tall as Appa but Chan still liked the new height he had reached now as he sat on the alpha’s shoulders.

Truth be told, Chan wanted to go with Mr. Seonghwa, but since he was the last to choose Mr. Hongjoong was the only one left.

It wasn’t that he disliked the alpha but there was something that drew Chan to Mr. Seonghwa, he smelled nice, like freshly washed clothes and sweet lemons and Mr. Hongjoong smelt a little… Chan didn’t know the word, strong coffee with caramel maybe?

It wasn’t very alpha-like but it definitely wasn’t omega-like, Chan couldn’t decide if he liked the scent or not. Seungkwan-hyung liked it, but that was because he had an obsession with coffee that no eight year old should have.

“Ok, we’re here.”

Chan looked up at the crowded open park. It wasn’t the kind of park that kids went to play in, but rather an open grass field where demonstrations were done on the weekends by adults and then kids clubs would put on demonstrations during the summer.

Appa had taken them to many growing up, it was how Soonyoung had decided he wanted to join the dance team.

Chan wanted to dance to - but he didn’t want it to seem like he was copying his brother, so he instead just watched with excitement.

He sat on Mr. Hongjoong’s shoulders the entire time so he could see above the crowd. There was cheering and a lot of clapping. Chan liked applause. Growing up in a large family meant there would never be a moment that there wasn’t something that could be fought for or argued for, Chan knew that as the youngest he most likely would never win, but one day he hoped that he could be on the other side of the applause.

That maybe, one day there would be something that made Chan different from all his brothers. An accomplishment that none of them could boast of.

 

<>

 

Seonghwa and Hongjoong sat on the bathroom floor of the Choi house for the last time. They were filming their last video and then sleeping on the floor for the last time. Tomorrow morning they would say goodbye and go to the next house.

The camera had been rolling for quite some time, but neither of the couple could think of a way to start.

“Well - Seungcheol, your kids have been really great.” Hongjoong said, “We did our best, I’m sure you’ve done the same and will continue to do so, make sure Soonyoung talks to you about something.”

Seonghwa looked at his husband, confused at what he meant, but ignored it and said, “I can’t wait to meet you honestly, your kids adore you as I’m sure you do as well. They definitely all want your attention, but I know that it’s impossible to give them all that.”

“Oh - there was a lady at your work though, she wanted me to thank you, she was too nervous to do so.”

Again Seonghwa looked at his husband, Hongjoong just shrugged.

“Well, I can’t think of anything else to say. We’ll see you in three more weeks.”

 

<>

 

Goodbyes were hard, mostly because the camera crew had come back and were gratefully getting every angle of the boys that were crying. “Be good, ok.” Seonghwa said he sounded too much like a mom, and he didn’t know if he liked it or hated it.

“We’ll miss you.” Seokmin said, Seungkwan was crying next to him, Hansol stood next to Seungkwan just looking at everyone with a blank expression, Seonghwa did think he caught a glimpse of something in his eyes though.

“Thank you Mr and Mr Kim.” Jisoo said he was attempting to remain composed and was doing an amazing job.

“Goodbye boys. We’ll miss you all.” Hongjoong said as he grabbed onto his mates’ hand.

The couple took a last look at the boys as they stood on the tiled entry, the boys waved all giving various goodbyes.

The couple didn’t want to go, as hard as it had been they had enjoyed getting to know the Chois and didn’t want this to be the last time they saw them.

The couple had talked about the many things they could do after the show and had come up with a few options, but there were still three weeks left, and they weren’t sure how they were going to make it that long.

The door closed, but the camera men were still there. Seonghwa hated them, but couldn’t do anything about it.

The couple walked hand in hand down the stairs with their bags to the awaiting car, they didn’t know where the journey would take them next, all they wished was that they were able to have a positive influence on the Chois, even if their time together had been short.

“It will be ok ‘Hwa.”

“I know Joong, I know.”

Chapter Text

Chan really thought he was getting the hang of the whole hands on parenting thing. The Kims were loud and rowdy, like how his boys were sometimes, but they weren't overtly troublesome.

Most of them had out of the house activities even during the summer which kept them busy and made Chan always check the schedules. He should have it memorized by now but it seemed to always be different even if it wasn’t.

 

Chan thought about his own kids. Changbin, during school, had cheerleading practice, and Yongbok had swim class once a week. Chan had been meaning to switch him over into Taekwondo because Yongbok had asked, multiple times, but he just hadn’t gotten around to it.

Chan was going to make sure that was a priority though.

He definitely saw the need for extracurriculars, especially when you were young. Chan thought that maybe his kids would want to do something extra. It wasn’t like any of them (with the exception of Seungmin) were particularly focused on their grades, so it would probably be good for them, and get them to meet new people. Maybe they’d even make friends.

“Eomma-Chan, don't miss the turn!”

Right, he was driving.

Why did his deepest thoughts always come when he was driving when he should be focused on note crashing.

Chan turned into the parking lot, Yunho, Yeosang and San climbed out, Chan turned the car around, and began the trip back home.

“Can you call Yeonjun’s eomma?”

What?

Ok - Yeonjun was Wooyoung’s friend… probably.

“Uh - I don’t have her number?”

“Yeonjun’s eomma is a boy remember? I talked about him a lot. Can we have a playdate?”

There wasn’t really time left in the week to have a playdate, but he could schedule it for next week, make it a problem for the next parent… was that terrible? He still didn’t have his number.

“Eomma has a book of everyone’s numbers. Appa says it's old fashioned, but I think it’s super cool. One time I opened the book and started calling all the numbers -”

Wooyoung was still talking, but Seonghwa had a phonebook.

So Chan could call Yeonjun’s eomma.

“I’ll call his eomma when I get home.”

“YAHHHHH!”

“Why are you being so loud?”

“You can be just as loud, Hyung.”

Jongho just put his chubby little fingers over his ears, it was kind of endearing.

They arrived home shortly after. Wooyoung proudly showed Chan where the phone book was or rather the number book as Wooyoung called it. The kid would probably never know what a phonebook actually was. No, Chan wasn’t old.

“What’s his family name?”

“Choi.”

“Ok.” Chan flipped through the pages before coming to the C section. He eventually found Choi Soobin (Yeonjun’s mom) and called the number.

The phone picked up after three rings, “Who is this?”

Chan was slightly shocked at the gruff voice, but carried on, “Hello, I’m calling for Kim Seonghwa. Wooyoung, his son, was wondering if Yeonjun would want to have a playdate sometime next week.”

“Yeonjun?” The man seemed confused, “Uh - yes, I’m speaking with Choi Soobin right?”

“No, you’re speaking with his alpha. Soobin is currently in heat and not able to come to the phone. I don’t see a problem with letting him and Yeonjun leave for a few hours next Wednesday though.”

Chan couldn’t decide how he felt about the answer, he was getting flashbacks to how his ex had often answered the phone for him, but decided to brush it aside, he was probably paranoid.

“Yes, Wednesday works, probably around 3 pm.”

“Ok. No alphas will be present right?”

What kind of question was that?

Chan couldn’t promise that sense he didn't know who the new parents would be, but he decided to say, “No.”

“Ok.” The alpha hung up the phone. Chan looked at his phone in slight shock. Should he be concerned?

“Can Yeonjun come over?”

“Yes Wooyoung.”

“YAHHHHHH.”

Chan laughed and shook his head. He took a note of the event on a sticky note and put it on the fridge. There had been many sticky notes from Seonghwa and Hongjoong on the outside of the fridge.

While at the fridge, Chan pulled out a few ingredients. He had really nothing in mind, but assumed the boys would be hungry after practice. Chan had gone out and bought a few sugary snacks, nothing to mortify Seonghwa but probably enough to raise his eyebrows at the sugar content.

It was fine though. The kids were definitely more hyper but then they had a sugar crash and slept well, Chan thought it was brilliant. Plus, it made the kids like him more, and who was he to complain about that?”

 

<>

 

It was another break. San was sitting against the wall watching all the other boys and girls talk. The girls didn’t like him because he was a boy and boys had cooties (or something. Eomma and Appa had never said anything about that, so the girls probably had no idea what they were talking about) and the boys didn’t like him because the teacher liked him. San didn’t see that as an issue.

Who wouldn’t want the teacher to like them?

Didn’t that mean you were doing a good job?

It wasn’t like the teacher only taught him. She taught everyone in the class.

“San-ah.”

“Yes, Miss Nam.”

Miss Nam was a rather sturdy lady, but she danced as if she had no bones sometimes, it was like water. San wanted to dance like her one day.

“Could I talk to you for a moment?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Maybe that’s why the kids didn’t like him. Because he used respectful titles and they just said ‘Yes’, no that didn’t even make sense.

“Have you ever heard of ballet?” Miss Nam asked.

“Like, the Nutcracker?”

“Yes.”

“What about it?”

“I know a ballet studio that is looking for boys your age to join the class and I think you'd do really well there. If you're interested I have a few pamphlets that you could take home to your parents.”

San didn’t see a problem with looking at the pamphlets, plus Eomma had taken all of them to a Nutcracker performance and San had really enjoyed it. The music made him fall asleep in some parts but other parts woke him up. And the costumes looked nice too. They were very sparkly.

“Ok. Can I see the pamphlet?”

“Of course, San-ah.”

Miss. Nam went to her small cabinet in the back of the room and came back with a colored pamphlet. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, so much.” San took the pamphlet in his hands and looked at the pictures of girls in pink tutus.

Would he get to wear pink?

San liked pink.

San happily put the pamphlet in his bag and got back into position, just as Miss. Nam asked them to.

San didn’t really know anything else about ballet, his brothers didn’t do ballet though they did contemporary or rather they were a part of a contemporary dance school, when they got older they learned the basics and intermediates of many different styles: jazz, tap, popping, breaking, but not ballet.

Maybe this could set him apart from his brothers.

Maybe he could make actual friends.

 

<>

 

Mingi hated when his brothers went to dance lessons.

He could have gone, he was old enough, but the first lesson he went to he freaked out and had a panic attack and never wanted to go back again.

Although, maybe he could go again and not freak out and have a panic attack? Maybe he could change and just be better, be normal.

That was impossible though.

He was born with just a screw loose.

No six year old should desire pain just so they could feel things.

Mingi had overheard enough conversations between his parents and his uncle to know that most kids in his condition were traumatized, and so their brains had no other means to release their feelings and emotions than to inflict pain on themselves.

A lot of people self harmed because they heard someone else did and so they wanted to try it for themselves, to see if it works. Some really only tried it one time, but others got addicted.

Mingi’s words and actions had caused his brother Yunho to stick a pencil in his arm. His older brother tried not to cry the entire journey to the hospital, but that hadn’t stopped Mingi from hyperventilating.

It was his fault after all. Yunho had never tried it again, but he’d have a scar forever, it was Mingi’s fault.

Mingi had heard his uncle call him an addict.

According to the dictionary an addict was someone who had a strong or uncontrollable dependence on a substance.

Mingi was an addict to pain.

But he wasn’t addicted because of the pain, of course it hurt, Mingi didn’t like being hurt, but he lived for the sensation of being hurt.

So then, why was the ice trick that Eomma-Chan had taught him working?

For all of his life Mingi had needed to be bruised or bleeding but clutching ice in hands over a bowl didn’t do that. It left no marks and eventually his hands grew so cold that he dropped the ice and couldn’t hold it any longer.

Mingi knew Eomma-Chan was watching him as he did that very thing. Was that a good thing?

“Mingi-ah, are you alright?”

No

“Huh?”

“Mingi-ah.” Eomma-Chan looked down at him. He was holding a hand towel in his hand. His eyes were large and full of kindness and compassion, not pity or disappointment. “All of it has melted, can I wipe your hands off?”

Was he not concerned about the floor?

It was hardwood. You couldn’t just let water sit on hardwood, it would warp and have to be replaced.

Mingi just nodded though, he wasn’t going to worry about the floor if Eomma-Chan wasn’t worried.

The omega wrapped Mingi’s hands in the towel, getting all of the cold water off, “How ‘bout you go sit on one of the stools, yeah?”

“Ok.”

Mingi walked over to the kitchen island and sat in one of the stools. He watched as Eomma-Chan began boiling water before cleaning up the water on the floor. In about two minutes Mingi had a mug of hot chocolate in front of him.

“You should drink it, I’m actually pretty good at making hot chocolate.”

Mingi took a cautious sip - it was good, and it warmed his hands up.

The omega took a seat on the stool next to Mingi, “You know Mingi-ah, there are other ways to feel something.”

Mingi looked at the omega in shock.

Could he read thoughts?

Was he some kind of superhero like one of the characters in Yunho-hyung’s favorite comics?

“How did you know?”

Eomma-Chan looked down at the counter, took a deep breath and then looked back at Mingi, “Mingi-ah, you aren’t the only one that struggles with this kind of thing. It happens to a lot of people - I don’t think he’d feel comfortable with me giving the details, but know that I have experienced a lot of what is going on in your head through someone else. Obviously I don’t know everything, but you need to know that it is ok, you can move past it and you aren’t weird for having the thoughts you're having.”

He was weird though - they all were.

That’s what the kids at school said. They called all of them all kinds of names. They called Mingi “Shredded Fingers” because they thought bits of skin and large scabs on his hands were clearly something that should be made fun of.

His brothers had it bad too though.

Mingi couldn’t complain about it, at least he shouldn’t, not when so many people had it worse than he did.

“I’m not normal, Eomma-Chan. None of us are.”

“What is normal?”

Well that was a question.

Mingi had no clue.

“I don’t know, do you know?”

“Normal is what people judge to be accepted and safe, it’s not bad to be outside of those lines sometimes, in fact we should be outside those lines at least a little sometimes. It’s what makes life exciting and fun. You shouldn’t need to try and fit in just to be accepted.”

Was it really true or was Eomma-Chan just being nice to him?

But telling lies wasn’t nice, and Eomma-Chan was very nice.

That meant that Eomma-Chan had to be telling the truth, even if Mingi couldn’t fully understand it or know how to believe it.

 

<>

 

“I really think you need to have some, one-on-one time with your kids. They each want it so badly, but feel bad about asking for it. Especially Mingi. They need you guys, both of you guys. I also think you should talk to the school board, I know school is out, but there is clearly something wrong.” Chan sighed and looked down, he felt odd giving parental advice, no one ever asked him for parental advice, probably because he was a bad parent.

No.

It was because they didn’t know he was a parent.

Chan needed to get better at self talk.

It was causing problems. He knew some of his kids had the same problem, he needed to be better, he needed to heal and move on so that his sons could do the same.

“Well anyway this has been log number 26 I think, I don’t remember. I’m sure no one does.”

Chan shut off the camera.

He had made a decision.

He couldn’t fake being fine.

He needed to be actually ok.

He didn’t know how he was going to get there yet, but it had to be done. Even if he truly wasn’t the best parent, or the best producer or really the best anything, he could still do his best to be the best that he could be. If that even made sense.

Chan looked at his small packed duffle bag that sat by the door of the bedroom, tomorrow was it. He was going to say goodbye to the Kims and hello to a new family.

He then looked down at the silk pajamas that he was wearing. They were surprisingly comfortable. Chan was thinking about getting a pair for himself in dark gray, not black, he should wear more colors.

Chan knew that if he was going to change that he needed to probably start with a few small things.

He didn’t know how to do that though. There was so much to fix that he didn’t know where to begin.

But he couldn’t continue like this.

It wasn’t that the thoughts he had about himself had changed at all, but seeing how much time Seonghwa was able to spend with his kids made Chan desire to do the same.

Obviously it would be different.

But it would still be better than what it was right now.

But genuinely how could he fix it?

Chan sighed deeply and groaned, he really didn’t like where his thoughts were going but his eyes let the way and they fell upon Seonghwa’s book.

Chan had told himself he wasn’t going to read it.

Seonghwa was everything Chan wasn’t - but that meant he had to know something.

With a sudden resolve Chan walked over to the desk, grabbed the book and then sat down on the bed. Then he realized that he’d have to worm his way under the covers so he stood up again, pulled back the covers and got in bed.

He stared at the book for a few seconds too long before opening up to the table of contents.

‘Getting Your Life Together: Chapter Two’

“That sounds promising.” Thought Chan.

He opened up to chapter two and began reading.

‘You may be in a position where you have a desire which you want to have hold of, or an ideal you would like to reach. You may believe that it’s impossible to have your desire or to reach that ideal, but I believe it is all a matter of perspective.

There are of course unreasonable goals but there are many that are manageable; they just seem daunting and impossible to start. My desire to be at home with my family, I once viewed as impossible, but that was because of my lack of faith in several different areas. I had no faith that we could live off of one income; I had no faith that I could be a good enough mother to stay home with my children; I thought that rumors would spread due to my sudden departure from the modeling world, and I believed that I’d be a terrible influence on my children. I thought that when someone asked one of my sons what their eomma did for work they’d say nothing and people would think I was a freeloader, or a gold digger. Frankly a few of those things did end up happening but a bad possibility shouldn’t stop you from reaching an ultimate good end.

The question still remains: How do you start?

It’s rather simple, you need to get your life together.’

“Well - that was profound.” Chan was being sarcastic.

‘It sounds cliche but it’s true, you can’t reach your goals for your home until you’ve been working on the goals for yourself. I spoke a little about this in the first chapter but expanding upon further here. It’s the same concept on why in the effect of low cabin pressure on an airplane you would put your mask on first before assisting others. You can’t help others to the best of your ability until you are safe or put together

Obviously there will be moments or even whole seasons of failure but again that should be a reason to not try at all.

I’ve broken down the process of getting your life together into three simple steps.

Write down your priorities and goals
Determine if you are in the right mental space to accomplish those goals and if not take further steps to get there.
Begin working toward the list of priorities top to bottom, never working on more than 3 at the same time.

Now step number one is the most simple. All you need is a pen and paper.’

Chan couldn’t believe he was actually doing this, but he grabbed a pad of paper and pen from the nightstand and began writing.

‘1. I want my family to be healed from past trauma.
2. I want us all to move on and be together
3. I want my kids to grow up believing they can be anything they desire to do as long as they are willing to put in the work.
4. I want to be acknowledged by JYP as a good producer
5. I want to go back to Australia and see my family, and the kids see everyone.
6. I want to mend my relationship with my family.
7. I don’t want to be stuck in a perpetual pattern of work - sleep - work.
8. I want to fix my heat cycle.’

Chan looked at the eight goals he had written down.

He really wasn’t in the best mental space to figure out everything, but it had to be done. This couldn’t continue. It really couldn’t.

He rearranged the list based on what needed to happen in order for him to be in a better mental space in order to accomplish the other things. The new list read, with words taken out for clarity and to make them seem more like defiant statements and goals and not just an impossible dream,

‘1. Fix my heat cycle.
2. Create a new routine not centered around work but the boys.
3. Work with the boys so that we all can be healed from past trauma
4. Work with the boys so we can all be on the same page and know what each other wants and is working toward.
5. Make sure the boys know that they are capable of anything
6. Mend broken family relationships
7. Visit Australia
8. Be Acknowledged as a good producer by JYP’

Chan looked at his list.

He hated putting himself first, but knew that no. 1 was something that he often just straight up refused to think about. He hadn’t had a regular heat since Jeongin was born and it wasn’t because he was too old. He was in his mid thirties, he should be having heats for at least another decade. But he had to admit it.

He needed to fix it.

But how do you fix heats without a mate?

Chan had no plans of getting back into the dating scene, it wasn’t that he was too old, he had seven kids though.

He’d never give them up so he couldn’t get into another relationship, not until he had fully moved on from the last one.

Chan put the list and the book down. He should probably start doing research, although it would probably just be easier to schedule a doctor’s appointment. He glanced at the time 1:00 am.

Maybe he should have put the routine first, that was probably easier to fix than the heat cycle.

Chan turned off all the lights and got back in bed.

Was it really possible for him to move on?

Every fiber of his being was saying ‘no’.

Chan just told them to shut up.

 

< a few hours later>

 

How was it time to say goodbye?

Well it had been three weeks, but it didn’t feel like that, yet here he was, looking at six boys, some crying and others just looking sad or confused.

Bumjoong was back and patiently waiting in the corner of the room waiting for the filming to be done.

San was hugging Chan tightly, Chan didn’t want to let go. The boy had a way of just wiggling his way into your heart, and making it so you didn’t want him to leave.

Yunho was just smiling at Chan, it wasn’t that the boy was happy for him to go, but he was instead happy for the time they spent together - at least that was how Chan was choosing to take it.

Yeosang, from the outside, looked indifferent, but Chan could tell that he was sad. Jongho just seemed glad his uncle was here. Chan hadn’t expected anything less from the three-year-old.

Mingi was clearly trying not to cry and Wooyoung was full on sobbing. Yunho did his best to console his brother, but there wasn’t much he could do. Chan gave the boy a hug, after somehow convincing San to let go of him and walked toward the door.

“But I don’t want to never see you again.” Wooyoung cried.

Chan didn’t know what to say, “When I meet your parents I’ll see if they want to set up a playdate. How about that?”

Wooyoung seemed unconvinced, but nodded.

“Bye everyone.”

“Bye Eomma-Chan.”

Chan smiled, the nickname had become endearing. It was sweet and meaningful, something that he would never forget.

The omega grabbed the handle and opened the door. He walked with as much confidence as he could to the car waiting outside for him. He had no idea what the next family was going to be like, but he knew he was going to do his best.

He just hoped that his best would be enough.

Chapter Text

Today was the day.

Choel hated it.

Why had the kids agreed to this?

Why had he?

He glanced at the clock in the room, 5:00 am.

Choel wasn’t a morning person, but his body decided he was on any important day. There was no point in sleeping anymore.

Other than what was going to happen today the rule swap had gone well.

The kids talked about how they enjoyed going outside and had genuinely been so used to never going out that just walking around in the outside hallways was good.

Seungmin had taken to reading on the balcony, Minho had maybe been smiling more. Changbin seemed a bit more genuine, Hyunjin a little less cautious, Jeongin more at ease and Yongbok as happy and smiley as ever. The only problem was Jisung.

He wasn’t necessarily a troublemaker, he just wouldn’t contribute to any conversation, any game they played, he just stared daggers at Minho.

Choel didn’t want to get into the middle of whatever was happening, but he would if he had to, that wouldn’t be till later in the day though. The boys had decided to go with their regular order, Youngest to oldest.

Jeongin hadn’t really known what he agreed to, but Cheol didn’t mind just playing with the boy, or maybe the three year old would surprise him with something astoundingly deep. That's how Hansol was. His reactions and thoughts made him appear five times his age, it was something that endeared him to Cheol, but it was certainly surprising.

Cheol got out of bed and went over to Chan’s closet to pull out a black hoodie, not because that’s what Cheol wanted to wear but because that was the only thing in Chan’s closet. How you got to be a successful producer while still dressing like a sleep deprived college student, Cheol would never know, but at least it was comfortable.

Cheol lingered a second longer at the closet. He could still smell the faint scent of sage and something fresh but salty, Choel couldn't quite tell what it was, but that was probably because the scent was getting fainter everyday. Cheol had made it a priority to not wear everything in Chan’s wardrobe so that some of his scent would remain, but he knew that the other parent would have surely worn all of his clothes by now and washed them at least twice. Cheol doubted his scent of dark chocolate covered cherries was still present at his house.

It made the alpha in him disappointed and protective of his home, but there was nothing he could do about it. He closed the closet drawer and made his way to the bathroom, taking a quick shower, then shaving his face and then brushing his teeth.

He rubbed a towel over his head, and then slung it over his shoulders. His hair would probably dry before he was done eating breakfast.

By this point the alpha was mainly running on habit. He went to the kitchen, made breakfast, put it on the table, and then hung the wet towel up to dry. The kids came in, all looking much more nervous than they had previous days.

They all ate in near silence. “You don’t have to-”

“We should though - shouldn’t we?” Minho responded before Cheol could even finish. Cheol decided that there was no backing out now and went back to eating his breakfast. Today was going to be a long day, there was no doubt about that.

 

<>

 

His family wasn’t normal… right?

Jeongin didn’t know, but it was just a feeling.

The kids at daycare gave him weird looks when his brothers came and picked him up, or when his Eomma had come in for career day and everyone’s appa’s had come in. Even if their eomma’s worked their appa’s came in, as if their jobs were more interesting or valuable.

That didn’t make sense to Jeongin.

It didn’t make sense how they were suddenly very interested in what Eomma had to say once he told them what his job was but not when he walked in and gave his introduction of being Jeongin’s mom.

And this whole - whatever this meeting thing with Mr. Choi didn’t make sense either.

The two were just sitting on the ground, playing with blocks. Well Mr. Choi was there, but everyone knew that adults didn’t have a good enough imagination to play with blocks.

“Jeongin-ah, do you want me to play with you?”

Jeongin looked up at the alpha, normally his brothers were afraid of alphas, they told him they weren’t supposed to like them or go near them if at all possible, but they didn’t hate Mr. Choi. Seungmin really liked him.

Recently Hyunjin was liking him more as well, and Yongbok liked everyone. Perhaps the more shocking thing was the fact that Changbin was honest with him and Minho didn’t utterly despise him.

Jisung was - well he was there.

Something was wrong with Jisung, but no one would tell Jeongin what. It really bothered him.

“Jeongin-ah.”

He hadn’t answered the question - right - words.

“No, Mr. Choi.”

“Ok, Jeongin-ah.”

Jeongin continued playing with his blocks, before the most brilliant question popped up in his mind, and maybe Mr. Choi could answer it.

“Mr. Choi-”

“Yes, Jeongin-ah.”

“Is my family normal?”

Jeongin didn’t look up from his blocks but he could feel the alpha’s eyes on him, was the question not what he was expecting?

“Well - I wouldn’t say your family is the most normal, but it's not a bad thing at all.”

So they weren’t normal.

Jeongin just kept playing with the blocks. Mr. Choi looked lost, it was almost funny. Mr. Choi hadn’t looked lost the entire time he was there, yet now his eyes were wide and he almost looked like he had no idea what to do.

“Is your family normal Mr. Choi?”

“No, Jeongin-ah.”

Now it was Jeongin’s turn to be confused - what was he actually asking?

“Do you know a family that is normal?”

“My older brother has a pretty normal family. He has a wife, two kids. Most people view that as normal.”

Jeongin nodded, he knew lots of kids that only had one sibling or no siblings. All of them had two parents.

“Is it bad that we aren’t normal?”

“No, not at all. It might make things harder, but not worse.”

“Ok.”

Jeongin didn’t really understand what he was trying to understand. At the end of the day he did envy the other kids that had two parents and only one or zero siblings, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want his brothers.

There were just a lot of them, and eomma was never there so it was just them.

Jeongin wanted his eomma - maybe that was where this had all come from?

 

<>

 

Seungmin sat on the couch next to Mr. Choi. He had been waiting for this. He was actually somewhat excited. It had always been an unspoken rule to just not talk about what had happened, but now he could say whatever he wanted and no Hyung was going to tell him to stop.

“Our Appa sucked.”

“You told me a little about it a few weeks ago.” Mr. Choi said, he seemed to just be trying to say the bare minimum.

“I know. I wasn’t supposed to though. Minho-hyung and Changbin-hyung don’t like when we talk about appa, they don’t like calling him appa either, but you can’t change biology, you can change last names though. That’s sort of cool. All of our names used to be Lee - Lee Minho, Lee Changbin, but Eomma went to the courts and had all of our names changed to Bang. That was pretty cool - but still our dna still is appa and eomma’s.”

“You aren’t your appa though.” Mr. Choi sounded like he had been waiting to say that. He said it in a single breath.

“I know. Hyungs are still scared about being like him though. You know the blood test everyone takes at eleven?”

Mr. Choi nodded hesitantly, clearly unsure where Seungmin was going with this.

“Well, according to the blood test Minho-hyung is going to present as an alpha. He doesn’t want to though, but it’s just biology. Plus you’re an alpha and I think you’re nice. Hyung can just be like you.”

Mr. Choi smiled a little; he didn't seem to know what else to do.

“Mr. Choi.”

“Yes, Seungmin-ah.”

“I wish you were my appa - you seem nice, plus I think Eomma would really like-”

“Seungmin-ah-”

Seungmin looked down at the ground. “It was just an idea. I know you two have never met but it could work out. I mean I don’t think you’d ever hurt eomma. Did you ever hurt your ex-wife?”

“Seungmin-ah, the situation was completely different.”

“So - you did?” Seungmin almost sounded scared now, “No, I didn’t. My ex wife was a very bad woman, she was like your father. The police took her into custody before I could do anything, I was too blind to realize anything.”

“So you didn’t hurt her, or your kids?”

“No. I couldn’t live with myself if I had hurt my boys.”

“See- you and eomma could really work then and-”

“Seungmin-ah, is this really what you wanted to talk to me about?”

Seungmin almost laughed, it was kind of funny. Adults were supposed to be good at love, yet they seemed uninterested.

“Not really. I sort of already told you everything though. Everything about me, there’s lots I could say about my brothers, but they’re the ones supposed to be doing the talking about themselves. I guess there’s one thing I didn’t tell you though.”

“What is it?”

“Eomma doesn’t really care about our grades, as long as we don’t fail, but I really care, and I wish that my brothers cared a lot more too. What should I do about that?”

Mr. Choi sighed, “I have a son, he’s sort of similar to you - in this regard, not really in anything else - but he, he studies really hard. He wants to be a lawyer, but most of the others are pretty uninterested in studying. He told me that it used to bother him, but he realized that everyone has different likes and dislikes and they all have different dreams. Not everyone’s dreams mean they have to study really hard.”

Seungmin nodded, “Ok, that makes sense. But what about if they don’t seem to have any dreams?”

“It’s ok not to have dreams at your age. You don’t have to have a ten year plan, and it's ok if you do.”

Seungmin nodded again, “Mr. Choi, you’re so smart. You know everything.”

Mr. Choi laughed, an actual laugh. It was hearty and full, it made Seungmin smile too.

“Thanks Seungmin-ah, but I really don’t know what I’m saying half the time. I do have a lot of experience though.”

“I want to meet your sons one day, Mr. Choi.”

“Well - after the show’s over, I’ll see if that’s possible. I’m sure you’d all have a lot of fun together.”

 

<>

 

Yongbok was sitting still, there was a smile on his face - it seemed to never go away.

“Yongbok - was there anything you wanted to talk about?”

His smile faltered - he hesitated in speaking - and then spoke a few words, “I was Jisung to be ok.”

“That’s admirable.”

“Nothing I ever do will make it better though. I can try and smile and be there for him even if I don’t feel like it, but - but then I’m lying to him. I tell him to be happy, but I’m not happy, but if I tell him that he’ll get in his head, he’ll think that it’s all his fault that I’m the way I am, but it’s not his fault. How could it be? It’s appa’s fault.”

Mr. Choi reached over to the end table to grab the box of tissues, and handed one to Yongbok. He had started massively sobbing.

“Yongbok-ah, you can’t hold all of this to yourself.”

He was internalizing. Choel had seen some of it in all of his boys, some worse than others, it never ended well.

“But who’s gonna take care of Jisung? We’re twins. We have to be there for each other. If I don’t help him, and tell him everything is gonna be ok - then it’s not going to be ok.”

Cheol patted the boy on the back.

Yongbok hated that he was crying, but he couldn’t help it. He was a sensitive boy. He cried over everything.

“There was a time - Jisung - he tried to die. I was angry with him that day, but I really wasn’t. Appa wanted one of us and I volunteered because Minho-hyung still couldn’t walk and Changbin-hyung had gone last time, but Jisung told me he would go even though he hated going. I called him an idiot for not letting me go. He got angry - I got angry. Hyunjin-hyung ended up going, but then Jisung locked himself in the bathroom and Eomma had to break the door, and there was blood - “

Yongbok couldn’t get the words out anymore.

Mr. Choi just engulfed him in a hug, “It’s not your fault Yongbok-ah. You can’t take the blame for that.”

“But - but”

Yongbok just cried and cried. He hadn’t cried like this in so long.

It felt nice.

Mr. Choi smelled good. It was comforting.

“You smell good, Mr. Choi.” His voice was muffled in the hoodie that the alpha wore.”

“I’m sure you want your eomma’s scent right now. I’m sorry I don’t smell like him.”

“It’s ok.”

Yongbok continued to cry until he couldn’t cry anymore.

He felt lighter afterwards.

Mentally everything felt clearer - he still blamed himself to a certain extent - but the dam had broken. It was out now. He had finally said the words that he had refused to say for so long.

He still felt bad - but it was going to be ok - right?

Mr. Choi had told them that in order to heal they had to get everything out first.

Could Yongbok heal now then?

<>

 

Jisung absolutely did not want to be doing this right now.

Minho-hyung had basically forced him to do this. So Jisung decided to just sit there and pretend nothing was happening. Except he had heard Yongbok crying.

Yongbok never cried.

“What happened with Yongbok?”

Mr. Choi looked shocked that Jisung had actually spoken, “He talked about something that had been bothering him for a while.”

“Do you expect me to talk about something that’s been bothering me?”

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

Jisung was suspicious, clearly Mr. Choi was lying, it wouldn’t make sense otherwise.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do, Jisung-ah.”

“I’m ok. I’m fine - ok.”

“If that’s what you think, then that’s fine.”

What was Mr. Choi’s angle?

He had to have one.

Because Jisung was fine - he really was.

“I’m fine.”

“You already said that, Jisung-ah.”

Jisung turned his back toward Mr. Choi. It was the truth… wasn’t it?

“I’m fine - I’m ok.”

“It’s ok to not be-”

“I’M FINE!” Jisung stood up, he faced the window were he could see the laundry drying outside on the balcony, the sun was shining, it was a stark difference to what he was feeling.

Jisung could feel the alpha staring at him, and his scent - it almost smelled like he was concerned. But why would he be concerned? He didn’t really know Jisung.

He didn’t really know any of them.

“I’m just fine.”

Jisung looked at the ground, “Hyung is so stupid for making me do this. It’s completely pointless because I’m -”

“You’re fine?”

Jisung turned to face Mr. Choi, “Yeah.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I’m not-”

 

But he was. Tears were falling and his nose was getting runny.

Mr. Choi stood up and handed Jisung a box of tissues, “I'll tell you what I told Yongbok, it’s ok to cry.”

“But why was Yongbok crying - there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s not like me.”

“You said you were fine.”

Jisung glared at the alpha. Mr. Choi just sat down, completely unbothered. Jisung would have to work on his intimidating glares.

“I am - but Yongbok is, he’s fine.”

“Jisung. Are you sure you’re ok?”

Jisung stared at the box of tissues in his hand, anything to make him not stare into the eyes of Mr. Choi.

He couldn’t admit defeat, but it was really the truth.

Did he dare be honest?

“I’m not ok.”

Mr. Choi didn’t say anything.

“I’m just sick of it!”

“Sick of what?”

Jisung had already said too much. Could he go back in time and take back the words that he said? Was it too late to do that?

“My life - this whole thing. Everything-”

Why was he still talking?

Shut up stupid mouth - shut up!

“I’m sick of knowing that my dad is some bastard that fucked us all up. I’m sick of Minho being scared and overly protective of us. I’m sick of Eomma never coming home. I’m sick of Changbin-hyung being ok with dancing again. I’m sick of how Hyunjin was always Appa’s favorite and how he'd cry all night and still then pretend he liked it. I’m sick of Seungmin looking at me like I’ll jump off the balcony any second. I’m just sick of everything. I’m sick of living, what’s the point? Nothing good is ever going to come out of this fucked up situation. So why try? All of us will never be more than what our Appa called us. You can’t get past that. We’re just - just - we were just - we were just kids.”

“You still are a kid Jisung-ah. All of you are. Everything that happened to you in the past is unforgivable but you are more than your past. The life you have is your own. Not your appa’s.”

“But - I can’t take back what he did. I can’t take back what I did.” Jisung dropped the box of tissues and pulled up his sleeves. “I can’t wear short sleeves even in this heat because people will see my scars and know what I did. They’ll think Eomma was bad or - or.”

Mr. Choi took Jisung’s hands into his own, “Jisung-ah, do you have any friends at school?”

“Why are you asking that? No, I don't.”

“Jisung-ah, what I’m about to say is going to sound terrible, but just listen. Most people are too caught up with what is going on inside their own heads to think about others. The people that care the most about you are going to pay attention to you. But if you have no friends then there probably won’t be anyone to wonder about your scars.”

Mr. Choi held Jisung’s thin forearms. His fingers brushed over the white vertical scars that ran from the bend of the elbow to the bottom of the wrist.

“Plus, scars fade over time.”

“Are you trying to tell people don't care about me?”

“No, but what I’m saying is that if people ask you about your scars it's normally easy to tell why they are asking. They are either asking because they want to make fun of you or because they are concerned for you. My son has scars on his calves from - from their mother. His friends asked him because they thought he had done it. They just wanted to make sure he was ok, but until they asked, no one had ever noticed.”

“I don’t want to show them though.”

“You don’t have to. You can hide them as long as you want. But Jisung-ah, you can move past this.”

“But - I don’t want to. There’s no point.”

“There is a point to living, Jisung-ah. I know you’re young and you’ve only seen awful things, but there are good things in life. Sometimes you have to look for them, and sometimes you have to fight for them. But it just makes those moments even more precious.”

Jisung didn’t have anything to say (aka he didn’t want to say anything else).

“I’m done with his conversation.”

Jisung walked away, back to his room.

He didn’t get it really.

What was the point of living for a few small moments when every other moment was filled with pain and suffering?

 

<>

 

Hyunjin had decided he was just gonna say everything, but now sitting in front of Mr. Choi was a lot scarier than he thought it was gonna be.

“Uh-”

That was an amazing start.

“I uh - “

Even better. This was going flawless - better than flawless even.

“I think that my brothers lie to me.”

Good job, he got it out.

“Why do you say that?”

“They say I look good, but that’s what the men all said. Eomma said that everything they said was wrong.”

“Hyunjin - those men -” Mr. Choi sighed, he looked so tired, maybe Hyunjin shouldn’t have said anything.

Jisung and Yongbok had been quite loud, Hyunjin had been able to hear a lot of what was said from the bedroom.

“I always - I gave good reactions. I told them thank you, I hated it but I told them thank you.”

“Did they ask you to do that?”

“No - but - but it was nice to be seen. No, that's terrible. I - if they liked me, then they couldn’t like the others. So I’d - I’d do whatever they asked. I’d do disgusting things. I’m so disgusting. I can’t be pretty when all those men touched me. They ruined me. I’m just broken. My brothers know my ego is fragile so they lie to me. But I heard what Jisung said about me. I know he hated everything I did. Appa would compare us all. He hated Jisung. He loved me though. He’d always hold me, and make me sit on his lap - and I hated it - but - but - but better me than the others? Minho-hyung got so mad one time, He pulled me away from Appa and demanded he go instead. That day he came back and he couldn’t walk - it was my fault. If I had gone then the med wouldn’t have - they wouldn’t have hurt Hyung that bad.”

 

“Hyunjin-ah.” Mr. Choi sighed. He clearly had no idea of where he should even start.

There was too much to unpack.

“First off, you are not disgusting. Hyunjin, what the men did was disgusting but you are the victim in this. You are not broken. The fact that you are still here and able to tell me all of this just shows me how strong you truly are. Your brothers love you. Hyunjin, I know you don’t think that you are pretty but - just listen to your brothers. They care about you, even Jisung. Your brother said a lot of things about the others too, it’s not just you, and those are things that he needs to deal with by talking to you all. And - well - you tried to protect your brothers. That is admirable. It doesn’t matter how you did it, it’s admirable that you did your best. And it's not your fault that Minho got hurt. It was the men’s fault.”

Hyunjin looked down at his lap. “I know that - but I can’t accept it.”

“And that’s ok. You don’t have to accept it right now.”

“But then how do we move on?”

“Progress like this doesn’t just work in a single straight line. It’s more like a zigzag pattern. Sometimes there’s a lot of progress and then sometimes you go backwards. And all of that is ok, because it's the only way to grow.”

“So I’m ok the way I am right now?”

“Yes, Hyunjin-ah. Especially since you know a lot of what you're thinking is wrong, even if you can’t accept it right now. It’s very good progress. You’re doing a good job.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Hyunjin smiled.

He couldn’t help it.

He liked when people praised him.

Plus, he could tell Mr. Choi was genuine with it. It made the compliment ten times better.

 

<>

 

Changbin just stared at Mr. Choi from across the table. He should say something?

But what could he say?

“So - theoretically, if you knew a guy that really liked - say - cooking - and he was really good but he like - his - his dad really like food so he had the guy cook him food all the time but then the dad - he - he died - and the guy stopped cooking but then he realized that he still liked cooking so he started cooking again but his brother hates it because his dad forced him to do it. What would you tell the guy?”

Mr. Choi just stared.

Had the illustration not been clear?

Changbin thought it had been pretty clear, and not obvious at all.

“Well I’d tell the guy that he should be sensitive and understanding of what his brother is saying, but at the end of the day it is the guy's decision if he wants to continue cooking.”

“That’s exactly what I told Hyung!” Changbin raised his voice and even raised his arm to emphasize the point, and then lowered it quickly giving a fake cough to distract from his previous statement. “At least that’s what I said to the guy.”

Mr. Choi nodded, he wasn’t convinced.

“Changbin-ah, your heart and your brother’s hearts are in the right place, but he doesn’t control you, but you do need to see where he is coming from.”

“And I do - I really do - I mean what do you mean brother? I’m talking about a random friend, you’ve never met him. He’s tall and bulky, super nice jawline, no acne, honestly kind of hot.”

“Mhm, right. Of course.”

Changbin wasn’t doing a good job of selling this was he?

“So yeah - my friend has talked to his brother about it but his brother just doesn’t understand. His brother just sees the bad about people watching my friend dance and he’s not really even dancing. But his brother just doesn’t get it. My friend just wants to have fun though-“

“I thought your friend was cooking.”

“Uh - right - yeah cooking.”

Mr. Choi folded his hands in his lap and shifted a bit in his seat. “Changbin, I don’t think this friend exists.”

“I have friends!”

“I don’t think this particular friend exists. I think you're talking about yourself and Minho. And honestly my only piece of advice is to talk to your Eomma about it.”

Changbin looked down at the ground, “I don’t ever see Eomma. He’s never here. It’s like he hates us and wants nothing to do with us.”

“Changbin- you know that’s not the truth, right?”

Changbin sighed, he really did know. He knew his Eomma loved him, but why didn’t he ever come home.

He’d take one of them out once a week but you have to wait almost two months to have one day with Eomma, it was completely unfair.

The kids at school envied him for his parents not being home, they thought it meant that there were no rules, but Minho was Minho.

“Yeah, I know.”

“You know Changbin-ah,this show isn’t just for the kids of parents to learn something and to experience something different, but it's also for the adults. I hope that because of this experience your eomma will be able to see the need for him to be home more, but until that happens you have to just be patient.”

“I’m not good at being patient.”

“That’s ok, neither am I.”

 

The two shared a smile. Nothing had been fixed, but Changbin felt like he might have a solution on how to fix it. It was about the best that he could hope for.

 

<>

 

Minho didn’t like that he had come up with the idea of talking about the trauma, but deep down he knew that it was the only way to move past it.

“I think I’m gonna try and tell you everything.”

Mr. Choi looked nervous.

Why was he nervous?

He wasn’t the one being vulnerable.

“Ok Minho-ah, go ahead. Whenever you’re ready.”

Minho took a deep breath and began.

“I don’t really remember when it started, but when I was around three He enrolled us in dance lessons. I don’t remember anything before that, but I know he was hurting Eomma the entire time. He hired a private teacher and would rent a studio room for a few hours. At first it was almost fun. The teacher touched me a lot but I was too young to understand what was going on. I think when I was around 4 He started videoing me. It wasn’t anything weird at first. I was so nervous in front of the camera that he just recorded entire sessions until I could act like I wasn’t nervous. It wasn’t until Changbin was put in the lessons to that anything became - torture?” Minho was unsure if he could use that word.

But at the same time it was the only word that fit.

“Once Changbin joined the sessions became longer and more - uh - illegal I guess. He would buy us clothes that weren’t really clothes and have us wear them. I think we were 6 and 5, uh, Changbin and I were. I knew it wasn’t normal. He would slap us whenever we made mistakes. A teacher actually called protective services, but He - He was good at making it look like nothing was wrong. I think Eomma was pregnant with Seungmin at the time and the CPS people just couldn’t imagine that - He could hurt his kids when he acted sweet around his - his mate. That night though it was awful. It was the first time I saw him hurt Eomma, but I knew it was going on forever. After that it just got worse. He would now invite people to watch - and eventually people paid to touch us - and then He’d touch us.”

Should Minho be crying right now?

Probably.

So why was he acting so detached?

Why did Mr. Choi look stone cold, like he was thinking about something else that was eerily similar.

“It cycled through all of us until Seungmin turned three. Everyone thought it was his turn to go, but Appa - He - it was like he forgot about him. I don’t know why. I didn’t want it to happen to him though. I - I store His phone when he didn’t put it back in his pocket. He was hitting Eomma, he had just given birth though and Eomma was never strong after that- I thought - I thought he was going to kill Eomma.”

Minho let the silence hang in the air.

There was so much more he could say.

But what else was there to say?

“So yeah - the police came - arrested him and took Eomma to the hospital. They tried to take us all away from him but Eomma got better and proved that he could take care of us.”

Minho noticed Mr. Choi’s eyebrow twitched when he said that sentence, almost as if he didn’t believe Minho’s statement.

Eomma had recovered - hadn’t he?

Eomma was strong and resilient and brave, all things Minho tried desperately to be, but had no real knowledge on how to be those things.

“The trial was awful, but he’s in jail now. I hope he rots for the rest of his life.”

Mr. Choi nodded.

“Thank you for sharing all of this with me Minho, but you do know I’m not - I’m not a therapist right?”

Minho looked away. Mr. Choi was looking at him in an appraising sort of way, it almost made Minho regret his decision to share everything, but at least - at least it was out in the air now, and not just bottled up inside like a shaken coke bottle.

“I know - but I know you went through something too, or at least your boys did, right?”

“Yes, Minho-ah.”

“And you’ve moved on, right?”

Mr. Choi sighed, “As much as it is possible to move on from something like that, yes.”

“Well then - how do you move on? I’m sick of just being stuck like this. I want to be better. I want to live free like my classmates and not worry about stupid things. I want to not feel terrified every time Changbin goes out for practice or when Yongbok goes to swim class. I want to be able to help Jisung by being a pillar for him to lean on and not just another tower that falls with him.”

Mr. Choi ran his hand through his dark hair, “There’s no defiant answer to that. I know that’s not what you want to hear.”

Minho looked slightly downcast, “I kind of figured.”

“You have to believe that you can move on. That you can get passed your past.”

“But - it’s impossible. I wake up at night sometimes and I can still feel them - touching me.”

“It’s not going to be easy - it's - oh I don’t even know.” Mr. Choi looked almost distraught. His scent was full of concern though. It was an odd combination.

Almost smelling like charred cherries.

Cherries…. That was his scent.

How could an alpha smell of something so sweet?

“It’s gonna be ok Minho-ah. You have to talk to your eomma about this. I can’t really help you. I wish I could. I wish I could take back every horrible thing that happened to all of you guys, but honestly I’m completely powerless in this situation, so please just promise me that you will talk to your Eomma when he gets back. I think all of you need to have a talk.”

Could that really be what was missing?

A simple talk with Eomma.

Would that really help the situation?

“Ok, I’ll make sure to talk to him.”

“Minho-ah.”

“Yes, Mr. Choi.”

“I believe in you guys.”

Why did that statement make Minho’s heart fill with joy?

“I know you all can get past this. You already are some of the strongest people I know.”

Minho laughed that off, “Sure Mr. Choi, whatever you say.”

 

<>

 

Cheol collapsed on the bed.

He didn’t want to film that daily update vlog thing.

He wanted to fall asleep and wake up in the comfort of his chaotic home. He wanted to wake up in the middle of the night to Seungkwan accidentally kicking him. He wanted to play Dinosaur with Chan. He wanted to see Hansol’s precious smile, hear Seokmin’s contagious laugh. He wanted to attempt to help Wonwoo study only for Wonwoo to end up teaching him the concept. He wanted to watch “Friends” with Jisoo so he could practice his English and have no idea what was going on. He wanted to hear Minghao complain to Soonyoung that he wasn’t actually a tiger, and he wanted to see Soonyoung dance with his friends. He had missed the festival - what kind of father did that? He wanted to help Mingyu construct a house out of trash, and laugh at the jokes Jun told. He wanted to see Jihoon at ease and relaxing and not full of more stress than any twelve year old should have, and Jeonghan… how was he doing with all the boys? Cheol wanted to hug his eldest and tell him that he was sure that Jeonghan had done a great job.

But he couldn’t do any of that.

There was another family.

Cheol had a feeling it would be a two parent household or even a pack.

It didn’t make sense to have that many kids otherwise.

Cheol doubted they’d have more than he did, but would they have more or less than the Bang’s.

So many questions, and no answers. At this rate Cheol was going to worry himself to sleep, but he still needed to film that video.

What could he even say?

‘Hey I basically had a whole cry session with all of your sons. They need you. I can’t say it enough. THEY NEE YOU!’

It was probably too harsh, but that was how Cheol felt.

He had the suspicious Mr. Bang wasn’t 100% honest with them, and right now the kids needed full transparency.

Cheol rolled over on the bed and grabbed the camera. What should he say?

He had absolutely no thoughts but started the camera anyway.

 

<>

 

The goodbye’s were different. The eight of them had enjoyed the time but also had struggles and disagreements. No one cried, but they all hugged.

Even Minho hugged Mr. Choi goodbye.

“Don’t forget I want to meet your sons.” Seungmin said, as Choel was trying to get out the door, “Yes, Seungmin-ah, I’ll do my best.”

“Have fun at the next house.” Yongbok waved, Jeongin started copying his brother.

Cheol smiled, he didn’t regret his time here, sure he longed to be with his sons again, but he could make it three more weeks.

He had to.

It was too late to turn back now.

Chapter Text

The car ride wasn’t long, there was some traffic in the city, but overall the Kims arrived at the new home too soon.

It was too strange, it hadn’t been more than two hours yet they would be at a new home. New kids, new problems, but hopefully new joys as well.

The car stopped in front of an apartment complex, the couple looked at each other and carefully got out of the car.

The apartments were in a nicer area than the Chois’ area, but as far as the Kims could see they weren’t much larger, at least this complex had an elevator though.

Hongjoong held his and Seongwha’s bags in his hand, Seonghwa just stared ahead, Hongjoong wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but he did his best to just give his mate a comforting smile, and walk as close as he could to him.

They arrived at the door, why was this more nerve wracking then the last one.

Hongjoong took a deep breath, and unlocked the door, Seonghwa slowly followed him. The apartment was a tad bit larger than the Chois’. The shoes at the door looked newer though, still just as disorganized. The apartment smelled strongly of Kimchi fried rice, one of Seungcheol’s signature dishes according to his boys.

There weren’t dishes in the sink but the counters hadn’t been wiped down, but that wasn’t what utterly horrified Seonghwa.

It was the curtain that hung in the living room.

Did they not know what a curtain rod is?

“What?” Hongjoong looked confused as to why Seonghwa’s scent suddenly spiked, the omega just pointed, Hongjoong looked at the curtain, “Ah - You’re going to need to ignore it.”

“How - it’s so - do they not know what a curtain rod is?” Seonghwa went to grab a chair, “I can’t - I’m fixing it right now. It’s going to drive me crazy.”

Hongjoong gently took hold of Seonghwa’s hand, “It’s gonna be ok, babe, just relax. Let’s take a look around and then read the manual. It’s going to be ok.”

 

Seonghwa did not believe his mate for one second. The curtain was going to haunt his every waking moment, plus he was pretty sure there were stains on it. When was the last time the curtain had been washed? Judging from the way the color had slowly faded from sun exposure Seonghwa was willing to put in a guess of at least five years.

“Seonghwa.”

“Huh?”

“You’re still staring.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine - but - well you’re not going to be able to change that for like two weeks.”

Seonghwa groaned, “I’ll do my best to ignore it.”

Hongjoong just sighed, he loved his mate he really did, sure the curtain looked out of place but he’d probably forget about it in the next five minutes, but his husband’s OCD would eat away at him and remind him that it was out of place. The alpha was not looking forward to the next two weeks.

They surveyed the bathroom near the entrance, “Seven toothbrushes.”

“So seven kids. You know normally I’d say there isn’t enough space but after meeting the Choi’s the apartment almost feels spacious.”

He probably shouldn’t have said that.

There were cameras - although they weren’t in the bathroom so it was probably fine.

Once the couple got to the bedroom on the right they got a bit more confused.

“It’s very bare,” Hongjoong noted, “and dark.” The alpha checked the closet, “It looked like a black hole in here.” Hongjoong quickly shifted through the clothes that hung up, they smelled faintly of alpha, but that was probably Seungcheol.

“Everything is the same size - you don’t think.” Hongjoong looked at his mate - surely it wasn’t another single parent. The probability of that just didn’t make sense.

“We can wear the same size Joong - We wear each other’s clothes all the time.”

“Yes, but we have our own clothes.”

“Let’s just wait and see, and not jump to conclusions.”

“Ok.”

The couple exited the room and explored the other two rooms, two bedrooms, one with two bunk beds and another with two smaller beds under one lofted one.

“So seven.”

“I can’t believe I think that’s a completely manageable number now.”

The two almost laughed at that fact, but it was true. When they got back to their home they were sure they’d think that their house was much too large for them, even if it wasn’t.

The couple sat on the couch - Seonghwa questioned the stains but tried to ignore them, Hongjoong grabbed the manual from the end table only to spot a small photograph. He grabbed it and brought it over so that Seonghwa could see.

“It is another single parent.”

Seonghwa gently took the photo in his own hands. They looked - sad..? They weren’t like the Chois.

The Chois in practically all of their photos had bright smiles on their faces, with the exception of a few of them. Even the photos in which they weren’t smiling their expressions were priceless.

These kids though looked like they had just got back from war. “Are there no other family photos?” The couple looked around.

“I don’t think so ‘hwa.”

“This picture is old.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“Joong there’s a child that can’t be older than one in this picture yet there wasn’t a crib in any of the rooms.”

“Oh - that makes sense.”

The two waited a few more seconds before Hongjoong finally opened the manual.

‘My name is Bang Chan, I have seven incredible sons and I am 34 years old. I’m originally from Australia but moved to Korea to train to be a K-pop idol when I was 13, unfortunately that didn’t work out and at 19 I became pregnant and had to move out of the dorms and in with the alpha father. He ended up being an abusive son of a (censored) that held me captive in my own home, during this time I had my seven children.’

“Joong, I don’t think I can do this.”

Seonghwa put the manual down, “Why are there such terrible people in this world? And why do they have to put innocent people through such - such trauma.”

Hongjoong grasped his mate’s hand tightly, “It will be ok, It’s just three more weeks and we can go home.”

Seonghwa didn’t say anything, but waited for Hongjoong to keep reading.

‘Almost three years ago during a long night filled with abuse my eldest son stole his father’s phone and called the police. Six months later we were able to witness him be sentenced to prison. I didn’t know what to do for a while, I thought about moving my family to Australia but I didn’t think it would be wise to do it so we stayed. I sent in my SoundCloud profile to the company I had originally trained at hoping to get a single commission but ended up getting offered a full time job. I produce around 40 to 60 songs a year now. Because of this I normally work more than 12 hours a day.’

“When does he see his family? There isn’t time.” Hongjoong exclaimed.

Seonghwa just gave him a look, “You realize you work almost the same.”

Hongjoong chose to ignore that statement and keep reading.

Every single new sentence brought with it judgmental looks from Seonghwa and short comments, “He sounds like you in college.”

“I’m not in college anymore.”

“How does he just leave his kids at home?”

Hongjoong didn’t understand his mates sudden change of mood. It was probably stress and the lack of familiar environment.

Or maybe it was some kind of omega thing…

Regardless of what it was once the manual was read Seonghwa began pacing the living room, “Seriously why is the curtain like that?” he said, as if that was the only thing he could think of to say.

“Seonghwa, you need to calm down.”

 

“I’m perfectly calm, ‘Joong.”

Hongjoong sighed, this was a losing battle.

Suddenly the door creaked, the familiar footsteps of adolescent and preadolescent boys entering the apartment. Hongjoong stood up and instinctively held his mate’s hand. They were going to get through this together despite any difficulties that they might face.

They were going to do it together.

 

<>

 

The producer had told Minho that they had to be out of the apartment for an hour. The fourteen-year-old had taken his brothers to the large stairwell, a place they used to hid from their father years ago.

“I liked Mr. Choi.” Seungmin started, as if that much wasn’t obvious, “What if we don’t like the new parents?”

“Then we just deal with it.” Minho responded, “Remember, they can’t hurt us, so they can’t do anything bad.”

“Do you think it will be a single eomma this time?” Yongbok asked, “It’ll probably be a couple Bok-ah.” Changbin threw in.

“What if they aren’t nice to each other?” Jeongin asked, Minho was confused why he was asking that question - did the three-year-old know something?

“We can’t do anything about that, but there’s cameras so they shouldn’t do anything to each other.” Changbin added.

Minho nodded. It was going to be fine. The teen glanced at his phone to check the time, “We should get going now, it’s about time.”

The group didn’t say anything else, they silently walked up a single flight of stairs and down a hallway, stopping right in front of the door.

Minho put his ear up to the door

“Seriously, why is the curtain like that?”

“Seonghwa, you need to calm down.”

Minho should have hesitated but instead he opened the door confidently. Minho stepped inside, slipping his shoes off quickly and proceeding to walk in quickly, leaving his brothers at the entrance still getting their shoes off.

“Hello.” The couple said.

Minho stared at them. They were both males, one was several centimeters taller than the other, the shorter one had multiple ear piercings and a single fingernail painted - odd.

The taller had longer black hair and a pristine appearance, he seemed anxious about something though - the shorter one was relatively calm though - again… odd.

“Hello’s” and “Hi’s” here quickly exchanged. Minho’s brothers instinctively lined up near their brother, Changbin was holding Jeongin - Minho felt bad - he was supposed to be doing that.

“My name is Kim Hongjoong, and this is my mate Kim Seonghwa.”

Interesting.. omegas didn’t normally change their surnames…

“It’s very nice to meet you.” Kim Seonghwa said, his voice was slow but calming, his scent though smelt anxious - or maybe that was just Jisung.

“I’m Minho.”

Minho nudged Changbin - it wasn’t going as smoothly as it had with Mr. Choi.

“Uh Changbin, nice to meet you.”

“I’m Jeongin - and I’m three!”

Why was Jeongin so excited? Minho looked at his youngest brother, not only had he spoken out of turn, he also seemed excited about it.

“Hyunjin.” Minho looked at the eleven-year-old, was he flustered? Why was he flustered?

“Jisung.”

At least Jisung was normal…

“I’m Yongbok, I like your earrings, Mr. Kim and uh I like your hair Mr. Kim - uh, oh what should we call you?”

The couple looked at each other, “The last family called us Mr. Hongjoong and Mr. Seonghwa. If that’s comfortable then you can call us that.”

The boys nodded - Seungmin ruined it though, “Do you both have the same family name or did you change it?”

Seriously, Seungmin was seven - he shouldn’t be asking questions like that.

“I changed my surname to Hongjoong’s when we got married. It’s pretty common in the west and we liked the symbolism.” Mr. Seonghwa answered. What kind of symbolism was he talking about?

The omega belonged to the alpha so he changed his name although - was Mr. Hongjoong an alpha?

“You must be Seungmin then.” Mr. Seonghwa just kept talking, Seungmin nodded, “Did you meet the Choi’s?”

Seriously, why was Seungmin obsessed with the Choi’s?

“Yes.” Mr. Hongjoong answered, “That’s super cool. I want to meet them too.”

“Yeah, Mr. Choi was super cool.”

“He made pretty good kimchi fried rice.”

“He took us window shopping - it was kind of boring but fun too!”

“We got pictures!”

Suddenly Yongbok, Seungmin and even Hyunjin were talking at the same time. They were at ease around the couple. How come? Minho made eye contact with Changbin, his brother just shrugged and joined in, even Jeongin engaged. Minho checked on Jisung, he was just staring ahead - almost disassociating.

Minho just sighed, some things never changed.

 

< a few hours later>

 

Minho lay awake on his loft bed. Jeongin and Seungmin were already sleeping, Dori was curled up near Minho’s feet. Minho was scrolling on his phone.

He was internet stalking.

He probably shouldn’t have .

He couldn’t help it.

He found Kim Seonghwa’s instagram and his picture perfect family. He had six kids.

Yuhno - Hyunjin’s age

Yeosang - the twin’s age

San - Seungmin’s age

Mingi and Wooyoung were in between Seungmin and Jeongin, and then Jongho, the youngest, was Jeongin’s age.

Mr. Seonghwa didn’t post often, but when he did it was mainly cleaning asmr, recipes, or book updates. He was an author.

His book didn’t look interesting, but the Instagram page led him to other, older posts, now seemingly deleted by Seonghwa but reposted or just posted by other accounts, mainly photography and brand accounts.

He used to be a model.. It explained the posture.

There was very little on Mr. Hongjoong, but Minho didn’t really care. What he did care about was the stark difference between the current Seonghwa and the pictures from five years ago.

It didn’t sit right with Minho.

All the posing - the lack of coverage in the clothing - it reminded him of what he had been forced to do except Mr. Seonghwa was doing it for money…or was Mr. Hongjoong forcing him to do it?

He had had several pregnancies, most of them right after another. Minho knew that, at least according to Eomma, was very difficult on the body yet Mr. Seonghwa’s figure didn’t seem to be suffering.

Minho was so confused. Some of the pictures seemed like Mr. Seonghwa was actually enjoying it - was he just acting like Hyunjin had?

Minho hated when people did that.

Hide their true intentions by pretending the opposite, either say the truth or say nothing.

Dori jumped off the loft bed, Minho sighed, he must have moved too much.

Minho followed his cat, doing his best not to make a noise while he climbed down the ladder and carefully opened his bedroom door. Dori scurried off somewhere, Minho snuck into his brother’s room and made his way to Changbin’s bed. He gently shook the younger. The teen groaned, but woke up, “What’s wrong Hyung?”

“Look at this picture.” Minho shoved his phone into Changbin’s face. It was a picture of Mr. Seonghwa in a particularly compromising position. Changbin gawked at the picture, “What is that?”

“It’s Mr. Seonghwa, he used to be a model.”

 

“So? Why’d you wake me up for this?”

 

“Do you not see the picture?”

“Hyung, you’re being ridiculous, and you’re gonna wake up the others, just go to bed.”

Minho sighed. Changbin didn’t get it.

Minho didn’t really get it either, he just knew something was wrong with this situation.

 

<>

 

The couple snuggled close on the small bed, “I could get used to this.” Hongjoong said slyly, “Don’t you start anything, we aren’t in our home.” Seonghwa replied.

Hongjoong just laughed quietly, it sent shivers down Seonghwa’s spine, “You can’t do that, you know that turns me on.”

Hongjoong snickered and took in his mate’s scent, “You know they aren’t that bad.”

“Yes but the curtain-”

 

“Seonghwa - dear - try and forget about the curtain.”

“How can I?”

Hongjoong laughed again, “I could make you forget - now that we are alone.”

Seonghwa didn’t answer, but didn’t object when Hongjoong began slowly rubbing his small hands all down his body, “I forgot what sleeping alone was like.” Seonghwa said as his muscles relaxed and he sank deeper into his mate’s touch.

“You aren’t alone babe.”

“You know what I mean.” Seonghwa’s lips grazed Hongjoong’s head, “This won’t be that bad ‘hwa. There’s just seven of them.”

“Yeah - there’s just seven.”

 

•••

 

Chan stared up at the apartment building. It wasn’t as large as the one he lived in, and it was a bit run down. There was even no elevator.

Perhaps that should have been the first thing that alerted Chan, but just kept going, up the stairs, and down the hall. The door were close to each other, meaning the apartments couldn’t be that large, or maybe they were deep?

Chan opened the door, kicked his shoes off and took in the sight of the apartment. It was obvious that Seonghwa was here. It smelt of lemons and fresh lemons - almost reeked of it.

The apartment was maybe a little smaller than his own, but it was obvious that this wasn’t a pack house. Chan was somewhat grateful for that fact.

The bedrooms were small but tidy. Out of curiosity Chan opened the closest to reveal color coded clothing. He was going to mess up all of Seonghwa’s hard work wasn’t he?

Chan sat on the couch. He couldn’t tell if it was old or just well loved. He saw the pile of neatly folded blankets and pillows on the corner, so the parents slept here.

8 kids wasn’t that bad.

Chan was supposed to have 8 kids.

What had he done when he was eighteen to cause a miscarriage?

Was it his lack of sleep? That was doubtful considering how little he slept when he was pregnant with the others.

Was it his diet? Despite the purely organic food JYP fed them, there often wasn’t much of it and there were always monthly weigh-ins, but then again there were times he couldn’t eat while pregnant because he had to feed his sons.

Was it the exercise? 12 hours of dancing was probably too much right? That had to have been it.

It was Chan’s fault his child had died before he even had a chance to really live.

It had been a boy.

Eight boys.

Surely - surely this cruel experiment many people called entertainment was trying to curse him by showing him what he could never have or be.

He could never have a mate again or be the perfect omega like Seonghwa and he could never have his eight sons.

His sons still didn’t know about the miscarriage.

Chan didn’t think he’d ever tell them, should he?

The omega sighed, he was supposed to be getting better, he was supposed to be getting better at self talk so he could move on. Yet it was as clear as day that Chan was as stuck in the past as ever.

‘My name is Choi Seungcheol, I am 33 years old and I have 12 sons.’

“Holy shit”

Chan stood up, he looked at the bedrooms again, there were only eight beds. Had he read the sentence right?

‘My name is Choi Seungcheol, I am 33 years old and I have 12 sons.’

Unless Chan had forgotten how to read Hangul it had to be right, but - that was only one name. Chan read the sentence one more time. It was similar to the first sentence of his manual.

‘My name is Bang Chan, I have seven incredible sons and I am 34 years old.’

Wait, did that make him the oldest?

It did, well that sucked. But how could a 34 year-old have 12 sons?

‘I never thought I’d end up with a dozen children but that’s what happened. My ex wife was a (censored). We got a divorce 5 years ago when she was tried for (censured) marketing of (censored) and child (censured). Since then I changed my job from working as a social worker to working at a school supplies company on the weekdays and as a dishwasher on the weekends, my life focus is now to ensure that my kids can have as normal a life as possible but it’s hard when there’s barely enough money for food and taking another job would mean I’d never see my kids, perhaps I’m just selfish.’

It still wasn’t clear but perhaps Chan understood a bit better now. The situations weren’t that different after all except.. Did his ex-wife really do all of that without her mate’s knowledge? Chan found that hard to believe. There was nothing he could do about it though - he kept reading cause that was all he could do but once he got to the description of each of the boys it sunk in.

There were twelve boys living here.

Twelve.

At some point Chan’s eyes just glazed over and he stopped paying attention. He tried to focus and read about them carefully but he still hasn’t passed the twelve part.

He needed to be though.

Why wasn’t Chan good at this?

 

<>

 

All the Chois with the exception of their father had gone to the park, to wait out the hour. Jeonghan had thought it was a good place to discuss some very important matters.

“What did everyone think about the Kims?”

“I really like-”

“The rooms are so clean-”

“Food was amazing-”

“Couldn't believe it was real.”

“Didn’t want them to leave.”

“Vegan kimchi can actually taste good-”

Of course they all started talking over each other. Jisoo laughed at his brother’s plight and Jeonghan just sighed.

“One at a time.”

“But that would take forever.”

“Ok then I’m just gonna call on people.”

“But that’s not fair.”

“Hyung!”

“We aren’t in school anymore.”

Why did Jeonghan even try? The only person that could get them to be quiet was their dad.

“Jisoo, what did you think of the Kims?”

“No Hyung, don't go in age order.” Seungkwan exclaimed, “Kwannie you aren’t last even if we are.” Hansol tried to console his brother, it didn’t work, but Jeonghan chose to ignore it and let Jisoo speak.

“I really liked them. I think they are good parents. I had a lot of fun with Mr. Seonghwa.”

“Ok - Jun.”

“We really are going in age order.” Mingyu stated, Seungkwan pouted.

“I thought it was really nice of Mr. Seonghwa to make a large pot of vegan kimchi for all of us, it was really good too. I thought Mr. Hongjoong had a really cool aura too.”

“Mr. Hongjoong stopped a man from being mean to me at a restaurant.” Seokmin, excitedly exclaimed, “We know Minnie.”

“You’ve told us like - ten times already.”

“Soonyoung-”

“I- uh-”

Was this one of those days when Soonyoung was an introvert?”

“Mr. Hongjoong is a really good listener.”

“That’s it?” Jeonghan knew that couldn’t be it, but his younger brother just nodded. He’d have to talk to him about that later.

“Wonwoo.”

“Well - it was fun. I had a fun time. I really like the book Mr. Seonghwa bought me and I’m glad Mingyu isn’t stressed about the room not being clean.” Jeonghan nodded. That was sometimes a struggle. It was doubtful the room would stay clean but they could at least try and keep it cleaner then it had been.

“Well -”

“Are we really stopping there? We didn’t even get halfway through.” Jihoon interjected, Jeonghan just sighed, “Did you have something to add?”

“I thought Mr. Hongjoong really knew what he was talking about and it was nice to talk to him. I thought Mr. Seonghwa made really good rice.”

“You can’t change rice-”

“Yes you can. It tasted different.”

“Rice is rice.”

“You don’t get it.”

“It’s just-”

“Guys - come on.” Jeonghwa just sighed for the twelfth time, there was really no way to have a conversation with his brothers in a simple matter.

“Hey guys, why don’t we try and listen to Hyung.” Jun said - Jeonghan just stared at him.

Jun was normally never the problem, in fact he did what was asked and honestly more. He sometimes forgot to take care of himself because he wanted to help the others, but he hardly ever exerted his “hyung” authority.

Somehow it worked.

“Right well, the new parents are coming they don’t know about - you know, so just be aware of that.”

“Nothing is likely to happen Hannie. School’s out.” Jisoo gave his brother a pat on the shoulder, did he feel guilty that Jeonghan was even bringing this up?

“So we have to lie to them?” Seokmin asked, “I’m really bad at lying. Everyone knows that.”

“You’re not as bad as Mingyu.”

“Hey- I’m great at lying.”

“That was the best lie I’ve ever heard you say-”

“GUYS!”

Jeonghan wasn’t even paying attention to who was talking any more. There wasn’t a point.

“Guys, I really didn’t have that much say. Just try and be just a bit reserved. The Kims were nice and understanding about everything, but there’s no guarantee that the new parents will be the same way. So just - be aware of that. Ok - everyone got that?”

A collection of nods and “Yeahs” were seen and heard.

“Ok, well we need to start walking back now.” Jeonghan stood up and picked up Chan. “Will the new parents be mean hyung?”

Jeonghan looked at his youngest brother. Although he didn’t know everything, it was impossible and pointless to keep him sheltered ever Mingyu had let the news that he had been born in prison slip.

“They should be nice enough. They don’t normally have mean people on the show. You’ve seen the show before, remember.”

“Minnie you can’t run off!”

“I’m not you’re just walking too slow hyung.”

“Soonyoung don’t lag behind.”

There was never peace anywhere when the Choi’s were present.

 

< a few minutes later>

 

Jeonghan opened the door confidently, but ended up basically getting pushed inside because his brothers didn’t know how to not shove.

His eyes immediately surveyed the apartment until they landed on a single, rather short, man. He stood awkwardly as all of the Chois stared.

He eventually bowed slightly and said, “Hello, it’s nice to meet you.”

The Chois eventually followed suit.

“Are you a single parent too?” Seungkwan asked, far too excitedly.

“Uh - yes.” Something was wrong. The adult looked too out of place, he looked like he was uncomfortable.

“Wow.”

“That’s so cool.”

 

“You should meet our Appa.”

“What’s your name?” Leave it to Wonwoo to ask a sensible question.

“Oh, I’m sorry. My name is Bang Chan, but you can just call me-”

“Chan? That’s my name!”

“Chan, you can’t interrupt people when they're talking.”

“Why not? You all do it all the time.”

Mr. Bang cleared his throat. “Why don’t all of you take your shoes off so we can continue introductions and shut the door.” Right - cause the apartment door was still open, hopefully they wouldn’t get sound complaints… again.

The Chois took their shoes off and lined them up the way Mr. Seonghwa had patiently taught them, Mr. Bang just looked at them.

Once everyone’s shoes were off Mr. Bang directed them to the couch, he stood. “I’m sure I wasn’t who you were expecting but I think we can all still have a great time. Now I did read the manual so I’d like to see if I read it well enough to already know who’s who, but if I get a name wrong please correct.”

Why was he so polite?

Like, almost in a degrading sort of way.

“You two are the twins, uh Jeonghan and Jisoo.” The twins stared in shock. Had it just been a lucky guess? Most people couldn’t tell them apart at first, even though they looked very different.

“And you must be Junhui, or do you prefer Jun?”

Jun stared in shock no one pronounced his birth name right, “ 你会说中文吗 ”

Mr. Bang shyly responded, “ 有一点 ”

Who was this guy?

“You must be Soonyoung, and you’re Wonwoo, and you are Jihoon.”

“How do you know all of this?”

Of course Jihoon would object.

“Your photos were in the manual.”

It was such a simple answer, but had he really taken the time to memorize twelve names and faces in less than an hour?

“Seokmin and - “ He hesitated for only a moment, “Mingyu and Minghao.”

He turned to the youngests, “Seungkwan, Hansol and then you are Chan.”

Some of the boys were lost for words, “How are you so good at memorizing?”

Mr. Bang laughed nervously, “I - uh - I used to be an idol trainee, and had to memorize a lot of things very quickly.”

“Idol trainee!” Soonyoung squeaked, seriously what was wrong with him?

“Uh- yes, I’m originally from Australia.”

“Australia!”

“You speak English!”

Mr. Bang looked uncomfortable, but nodded slowly.

“Oh - uh, [Hello, my name is Joshua]”

Mr. Bang looked shocked at Jisoo. Jeonghan’s twin must have seen a golden opportunity to practice his English seeing as most of his brothers were practically useless when it came to the language.

“[Hi. I’m Chris.]”

“[Mr. Chris. That is a - uh very cool name.]”

Mr. Bang laughed, “[Who taught you English? Your accent is very American.]”

Jisoo looked so happy, Jeonghan had no idea what they were saying.

“What are you saying Hyung?” Seokmin asked, “It’s not nice to speak in a language we don’t understand.” Mingyu added.

Jisoo just ignored them, “[I watched Friends. I like your accent too. It is very - uh - unique.]”

Jeonghan would make sure to ask what exactly they were saying, but he was happy that his brother was happy.

“How many children do you have, Mr. Bang?” Jun asked.

“I have seven boys.”

“Ahh.”

“How old are they?”

“Have you ever met the Kims?”

“Mingyu, he's obviously never met the Kims.”

“You don’t know that Jihoon-hyung.”

“No - I’ve never met the Kims, but I was at their home for the past few weeks.”

“Ohhh - was it big?”

“What are their sons like?”

“Guys, Mr. Bang still hasn't answered the first question.”

The boys settled for a few seconds, “Oh ok - they are 14, 13, 11, I have 9 year old twins, a 7 year old and a 3 year old.”

“Oooh The Kims have a boy my age too! We should all be friends!” Seokmin exclaimed.

Mr. Bang actually seemed to support that idea.

The group talked for a few more minutes until Mingyu’s stomach growled… loudly.

“Oh - are you hungry?” Mr. Bang asked, Mingyu looked embarrassed but nodded, “I’ll go see what I can whip up.” Mr. Bang walked to the kitchen and began searching for food.

Mr. Seonghwa had stocked the kitchen far more than it had ever been in years, so there were actually options that were not kimchi, eggs and spam.

The boys separated off and began entertaining themselves. Jeonghan had no idea what half of them were doing. Seokmin, Minghao and Hansol were playing… zombies… Wonwoo was reading his massive law book for whatever reason… Jisoo and Jun were helping Mr. Bang, Seungkwan and Chan were playing… soccer without a ball…Mingyu was… cleaning baseboards for whatever reason, Jihoon was talking to Mingyu about that very topic and Soonyoung was hunched over on Jisoo’s phone furiously texting.

“Who are you talking to?”

Soonyoung practically jumped, “Uh - Hyungwon and Doyoung.”

“Ooo, can I talk to Hyungwon?”

“No Hyung, you absolutely can not! He’s my friend, you can go make your own.”

“You can’t be possessive over your friends.”

“Why not?”

“You don’t own them.”

“So, you can’t be friends with my friends.”

“But Hyungwon is kind of-”

“Hyung!”

“What?”

“Do you have a crush on my best friend?!”

Jeonghan chose to just give an inconspicuous shrug instead of giving an answer just too keep his brother on his toes.

“Guys, lunch is ready!” Jisoo called.

Lunch was fine, a bit awkward but fine. Jeonghan still believed that something was wrong with Mr. Bang, but didn’t really feel like bringing it up to the adult. He rather just sit as an outlier and observe.

 

<>

 

Chan wanted to leave.

Every single ounce of his being was telling him to just leave.

He was sleeping on the ground, young Chan was sleeping next to him, Minghao was sleeping with Jun; Seungkwan and Hansol were on his other side, they were sleeping almost snuggled together.

Little Chan wasn’t having a peaceful sleep, Chan was curious if he should wake the boy up. His question was answered though when the boy woke up and immediately ran off to one of the bedrooms.

“Hyung - Hyung!”

Chan was unsure if he should follow the boy but decided against it when he overheard the conversation.

“What’s wrong Channie?”

“I had a bad dream, and I miss appa.”

This was wrong, Chan shouldn’t be overhearing.

“Oh baby-”

“I’m not a baby.”

“You’re my baby ok. You just gotta hang in there bud, it’s just three more weeks.”

“Ok.” There was silence, Chan thought that maybe he could pretend to be asleep until he heard, “Hyung?”

“Yes.”

“Mr. Bang doesn’t smell right.”

“Channie, Mr. Bang isn’t going to smell like appa he-”

“I know that, but - he doesn’t smell right. Something is wrong with him.”

Jeonghan sighed loud enough for Chan to hear. “Channie - please don’t worry about that right now. You need sleep if you want to grow into a big boy, and I need sleep if I’m not gonna be cranky tomorrow.”

“Ok Hyung. Can I sleep here?”

“Of course baby.”

“I’m not a baby.”

“Channie-”

The rest was too soft to hear, not that Chan wanted to hear.

Was it really that obvious?

He thought he was doing better, and was having a better mindset. Was he still just stuck in the past?

Would he always be there?

 

•••

 

Cheol looked up at the house.

It was an actual house.

With a front yard and a car and garage in an actual neighborhood where he had seen children playing in other yards, and saw young women on walks with their dogs and elderly people going for daily strolls with their hands crossed behind their backs.

Cheol was staring.

He should probably get inside.

He knew that the house wasn’t large enough for the people to be inside to be rich - just upper middle class, plus it made sense. If you were going to have a large family you should have a large home. Perhaps the family was in debt and paying off a fifty year mortgage.

When Cheol eventually did get inside his reactions weren’t any better.

“I know Chan was here before me, but why is it so clean? It’s like - too clean - I don’t feel like this is a house.”

Cheol looked at the front room with the kitchen and living room, “These two rooms are almost the size of my entire apartment.

He walked down the hall and looked inside the bathroom, “They have a dryer! They have a dryer.”

Cheol was sure this moment was going to be edited and turned into a meme, but he didn’t care.

They had a dryer.

An actual dryer.

A few seconds later he discovered the dining room with its eight seater table, and the small backyard.

“They have an actual dining room. I’m not sure this is real.”

Cheol almost nervously made his way up the stairs, he took note of the neatly arranged pictures on the walls. It was almost too perfect. Once Cheol saw the bedroom he was sure he was dreaming.

It was a king sized bed.

Cheol had never slept on a king sized bed - and he’d have it all to himself.

Cheol looked at the ensuite bathroom, because of course they had one, and the walk in closet. “Ah - so they are actually fashionable. I - I apologize for my wardrobe.” Cheol tried self degrading humor, he didn’t know what else to do.

There were three more bedrooms, they were all perhaps a tad bit smaller than the bedrooms in his apartment but they only slept two people each and they, like the rest of the house, were pretty clean, which Cheol found puzzling.

Surely cleaning the rooms hadn’t been a part of Chan’s rule switch considering the almost purposeful casual sloppiness of his apartment, not that that was a bad thing. Cheol’s apartment wasn’t much cleaner. But the fact that the kids’ rooms were clean meant that they had purposefully chosen to keep their rooms clean.

Cheol eventually made his way back downstairs and to the couch, it was surprisingly soft, even though it looked like it would be firm.

He reached for the manual, “I still don’t believe this is real.”

Cheol took a deep breath, and opened it, ‘My name is Kim Seonghwa, my alpha mate's name is Kim Hongjoong. The two of us are 33 and have been married for 12 years.’

“Wow - well congratulations.”

‘I used to work as a model but 5 years ago the toxic and unrealistic beauty standards became too much for me as I recovered from my fifth pregnancy and was told I had to lose 80 pounds if I ever wanted to model again, this forced me down a dark path that I was only able to get through with my husband.’

Was this something that Jun was dealing with? Cheol’s fourth son was notorious for forgetting to take care of himself and not getting help until the situation became unmanageable.

‘I am now a stay at home mother and published author who does his best to care for my children and family to the best of my ability. Hongjoong is a successful fashion designer who works long hours. I wish he was home more but I also know that he is the main breadwinner for the family and needs to work. I do feel that one day he will wake up and the kids will be grown and Hongjoong will have never been able to see them grow, I really hope that doesn’t happen though. Because of Hongjoong’s work schedule I do most of the housework with a little help from the kids. I try my best to be as hands on as possible and make it to as many events and functions as possible.’

“So we have a house husband, and a workaholic, wonderful.”

Cheol finished reading the schedule, Seonghwa’s looked like hell and Hongjoong’s seemed doable after Cheol’s time following Chan’s schedule.

The kids seemed friendly, they were clearly pretty organized, they were all at a fun age too.

Cheol remembered when all of his boys were eleven or younger, to be fair his wife had just been carted off to prison, but that was the first time he actually really got to know his sons. He hated himself because it had taken eleven years to really get to know his eldests, but Cheol would never stop trying and make up for it.

Just as Cheol was trying to memorize faces from the pictures a herd of boys came in followed by a man a few years older than him.

He watched as the kid’s faces lit up when they saw him and ran to meet him.

They must have really liked Chan to be this excited.

“Boys you can’t just attack him before you’ve said hello.” The man said; he was holding the youngest, “Please excuse them, my name is Kim Bumjoong, I'm their uncle. I have to leave now but next week I’ll be back to watch the kids when you have to go to work. I left the keys to the car on the hook by the door, and uh - I don’t know if there’s food in the fridge. Anyway, it was nice to meet you, but I really have to go.”

Bumjoong left quickly, “He has an appointment he needs to get to.” One of the boys said; he had precious dimples.

“Bumjoong-Samchen is a super cool doctor who helps people with their problems.”

“Wooyoungie - Sannie, we need to introduce ourselves.” It must be the oldest.

“Hello, I’m Yunho, and this is Yeosang, San, Mingi, Wooyoung and Jongho.” He pointed to each of the boys, “Hyung - I wanted to introduce myself.” Wooyoung complained.

“What’s your name Mr?” Yunho ignored his younger brother, Cheol smiled at that unconsciously. His boys would have done the same thing.

“My name is Choi Seungcheol.”

“Ooo, you have such a cool name, Mr. Choi.” San said.

“Thank you San.”

“How many kids do you have?”

“I have twelve boys.”

“Wow.”

“Was your mate bad like Eomma-Chan’s.”

Eomma-Chan?

What did they know about Chan?

“Uh - yes.”

“Wow - people suck sometimes.” Yeosang said.

“Hyung - I want to go outside.” Jongho looked up at Yeosang. Yeosang sighed and grabbed his younger brother’s hand. “Ok, anyone else want to go outside-”

“MEEEEE!!” Wooyoung ran out of the living room and out the back door.

Yeosang just shook his head and followed Wooyoung.

“I’m sorry about them, but they are normally that loud.” Yunho said,

“It’s ok - my boys are loud too.”

There was silence for a few minutes until Mingi spoke, “Can I go upstairs?”

“Of course - why are you asking?” Mingi seemed to not know how to respond, “Sannie - how ‘bout you go play outside with the others.”

“But I want to talk to Mr. Choi.”

“How ‘bout we both go outside.” Cheol suggested.

Everyone seemed to agree and went to their respective locations.

Cheol really couldn’t believe any of this was real, even as he watched the boys play. The family looked and acted like some picture perfect fairy tale family.

Sure they were loud - especially Wooyoung - but they weren’t any louder than Cheol’s boys, and other than that they were incredibly courteous. They always asked if they were allowed to do something, they never wanted to be alone, they liked doing chores, they cleaned up their own messes, sure they didn’t like their vegetables but who in their right minds did?

This family couldn’t be real.

They really couldn’t.

 

<>

 

Yunho turned to his side to see if Mingi was still asleep.

He was.

Yunho thought Mr. Choi was a bit different from what Yunho was expecting. He wasn’t expecting another single parent, but it wasn’t a bad thing.

As far as Yunho could tell Mr. Choi was an alpha, he didn’t act overly aggressive but he wasn’t necessarily gentle either. He seemed hyper aware of what everyone was doing and where everyone was.

Yunho got out of bed and carefully exited his room, closing the door as softly as possible. He was going to go downstairs to get some water, but he noticed that the light in Eomma and Appa’s room was still on.

Yunho walked carefully to the door, and knocked. There was a startled noise on the other side of the door.

There was shuffling on the other end of the door, eventually the door opened, “Yes - oh Yunho, do you need something?”

“Uh - no sir.”

Why was Yunho here?

He didn’t have a plan.

“Uh - I was just wondering, I mean if you ever need anything I’m here and I like helping and uh - I know my brothers and I are a bit weird but we aren’t bad kids and we aren’t going to try and cause trouble.”

Yunho watched Mr. Choi’s eyes just continue to widen.

Did he not think they were weird?

Well - he didn’t really know them that well, perhaps it was only a matter of time and the family had just been lucky to have Eomma-Chan understand many of the struggles the Kim’s faced.

“Uh - Yunho, there’s no need to worry. I appreciate your offer to help. But I - I think you should go to bed now, it’s kind of late.”

“Oh - ok.”

Should Yunho have just done that?

Mr. Choi had looked more confused than he had the entirety of the day.

What was he confused about?

Yunho hadn’t thought that he or any of his brothers had done anything particularly strange, but maybe they had. Yunho was now probably more confused than Mr. Choi seemed to be, and had no idea what he was confused about.

Yunho silently got back in bed, checking on Mingi one more time.

Would Mingi be able to make it three more weeks without Eomma or Appa, would he be able to control his urges?

Would San speak up for himself and not just be dragged into whatever his brothers wanted?

Yunho had no idea and was sure that Mr. Choi didn’t either.

 

<>

 

Cheol paced the floor of the bedroom.

What was the angle?

What was that conversation about?

Was something wrong with the family?

They seemed perfect and yet something was off.

What was off?

What was wrong with the picture?

Why were there so many questions and no answers on something that probably shouldn’t be questionable.

Cheol groaned loudly and looked over the schedule for tomorrow.

He’d be starting with Seonghwa’s schedule, he wasn’t looking forward to it.

What even was the point any more?

Three more weeks.

Just three more weeks.

He could do it.

He had to.

Chapter Text

Seonghwa paced behind Hongjoong, he checked his watch, “We’ve been here for nine hours already Joong.”

Joong spun around in the chair. He had attempted to write lyrics and learn how down beats a d back beats worked, but had given up within two hours and had decided to sketch new designs instead. Seonghwa had very quickly gotten up and dusted the entire studio, going as far as searching out a janitorial worker and asking for cleaning supplies in order to scrub the layer of dust that had accumulated everywhere.

Hongjoong had forced Seonghwa to stop scrubbing baseboards after Seonghwa had applied hand sanitizer for the eighth time.

“I know - we can't just go home though.” Hongjoong stood up and took his mate’s hands in his own, “Sit down please, you’re being anxious over nothing.” Hongjoong led Seonghwa to the couch and sat down with him.

“Seonghwa - dear - why are you so nervous? What are the thoughts going through your head right now?”

Hongjoong began to rub Seonghwa’s back as the omega’s head hung low, “Is it too late to pull out?” What had brought this upon Seonghwa? He had been completely fine yesterday.

“If that’s what you want to do I will call the director and producer right now but-”

“No - don’t do that. It wouldn’t be right to Seunghceol and Chan and all the kids.” Hongjoong knew deep down his mate was right, but he didn’t like seeing him in pain and oblivious to how to fix the problem.

Seonghwa fidgeted with his wedding ring, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

“Nothing - we’ve been away from the kids for almost a month ‘Hwa, it’s bound to take an effect on you.”

“Why aren’t you acting strange-”

“Seonghwa - I don’t - you know I don’t always share my feelings outwardly. You know I internalize a lot.” There was silence for a bit, neither quite knowing what to say.

“Joong - this isn’t right.”

“What’s wrong? What isn’t right?”

“I don’t know. I just have a feeling.”

“Well feelings aren’t always concrete and-”

“I know that! I just - Can we just leave? We’ve been gone from the apartment for more than nine hours. Those kids are all by themselves, and that’s not right.”

“I agree.” Hongjoong checked the clock one more time, “I don’t see a problem with us leaving early.”

Hongjoong smiled, “Come on ‘Hwa, let’s go.” Hongjoong grabbed his mate’s hand, grabbed his phone and left.

Producer and director be damned.

 

< a few hours previously>

 

Yongbok honestly had liked Mr. Choi even though he hadn’t gotten to know him that well. He didn't know the Kims that well but was sure they were nice as well. Yongbok wanted to go to the park, he had really liked going out for at least an hour everyday. He liked feeling the sun on his skin and being able to run around freely.

He had asked Minho-hyung if they could go almost an hour ago and he had said yes if he could make them lunch first.

Yongbok had volunteered to help make a picnic lunch but Minho-hyung had rejected the idea in favor of having Changbin help who had only a marginally better track record in the kitchen.

So instead Yongbok was playing Uno with Jisung and Hyunjin and desperately losing.

Seungmin and Jeongin were trying to build a tower taller than them… it wasn’t working.

“No - don’t do that - you're gonna burn it!”

“Hyung you can’t just tell me to cook it then. I don’t know how to cook it.”

“Aish - shoo then, I’ll finish up.” Minho pushed Changbin out of the kitchen. The thirteen-year-old dramatically sighed and went over to help Seungmin and Jeonign with their tower.

“Do you need help hyung?” Yongbok called to his brother.

“No. I’m good. Lunch will be done in like ten minutes.”

Yongbok slightly pouted but went back to losing uno. This sort of thing was a common occurrence. Minho would initially pull someone in to help in only to kick them out half way cause they weren’t doing it right.

Sometimes when one of them were doing the dishes Minho would hover over them and stop them mid task only to complete it himself because they weren’t doing it right.

It was honestly annoying, but who was Yongbok to judge? Minho was basically a second Eomma and according to some of his friends that was normal. So maybe that was one thing that Bang’s were normal in.

After the uno game ended, Yongbok somehow managed to have almost the entire stack in his small hands, Minho corralled them out of the apartment, making Changbin hold the back full of food and water bottles.

“Hyung this is so heavy.”

“You want muscles don’t you.”

“Hyung.”

“No whining - come on. Innie come here.”

“I want to walk.”

“Fine but you need to hold my hand.”

“Fine.”

“Hyunjin hurry up!”

“I’m getting my hat and sunscreen.” Minho just sighed.

“10 - 9 - I’m leaving after I’m done counting - 8 - 7 -”

“I’m here, we can go now.”

They made it to the park with only a little difficulty, once they made it to the park they argued over whether they should eat first or later. They eventually decided on eating first and then split off to play.

Hyunjin and Yongbok ran off to soccer with some kids their age, Jisung just watched on the sidelines and somehow got corralled into getting the ball whenever someone kicked it out of bounds.

Minho was playing catch with Seungmin, or Seungmin was berating Minho as to why Minho had no idea how to throw a baseball, and Changbin was pushing Jeongin on the swings near the kid section.

“Hyunjin, you're really good.”

“Do you play soccer at your school?”

“Me - oh, no.”

“You totally should.”

Why were they just complimenting Hyunjin?

Was Yongbok not also good at soccer?

“Maybe I will, but I’m actually normally in the art club.”

They had stopped the game at this point. The boys were just talking to Hyunjin. Jisung came from the sidelines, “Let’s go. They’re only interested in Princy.”

“Don’t call him that. You know he doesn’t like it.”

“I’m not talking to him, come on - maybe there’s swings open.”

Yongbok followed his brother, despite his confession to Mr. Choi nothing had really changed in the brother’s dynamic or relationship.

Minho was still on top followed second by Jeongin and so on by backwards age order.

Perhaps Yongbok should feel bad for Changbin, he definitely was on the bottom or the pyramid or maybe Hyunjin was on the bottom - that probably made more sense. Minho seemed to disagree with both of them frequently though.

Changbin and Minho disagreed often because they both had strong personalities and were stubborn.

Hyunjin and Minho disagreed because Hyunjin was stubborn and the complete opposite of Minho.

Yongbok didn’t really disagree with his brothers even if his thoughts weren’t always the same. He knew disagreements could be stressful and he didn’t want to be a cause of stress for his brothers, so he always let Jisung speak first to determine where the pair of them were going to stand on a certain matter. He always looked around to see if anyone else was grabbing food before he grabbed more. Or he always looked at Minho to see if he needed help even if Minho wouldn’t let him help.

“Bok, there are swings, are you going to go on them?”

Was Yongbok thinking too much? Oops…

“Yeah.” Yongbok ignored whatever Jisung was saying under his breath, it was probably about Hyunjin. Yongbok didn’t get why Jisung would do that.

They were all brothers, maybe they didn’t all agree but couldn't you just get over it and prefer the other? It was more peaceful that way, there was less stress for Minho and Eomma.

Maybe they all stressed Eomma out.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t come home till late.

Was Yongbok to blame?

“Bok - I asked a question.”

“I’m sorry, Ji- What was the question?”

“I asked if you knew why Hyunjin was so interested in playing with those other boys.”

Jisung was looking for a fight.

Why wouldn’t he go fight with Seungmin? Seungmin actually enjoyed fighting, like a weirdo (just Yongbok’s opinion).

“Probably because they are his age. We are younger and so we aren’t as good as they are.”

“Bull shit-”

“Ji - you know Eomma doesn’t want us to curse while we are out in public.”

“Bull - shit.”

Another kid in the park ran over to tell their eomma that some kid was cursing, Yongbok loved that.

“Hyunjin’s embarrassed of us.”

“That’s not true.”

“Sure - keep telling yourself that.”

Jisung was never right.

He really wasn’t.

He always assumed the worst and was always pessimistic about it. Yongbok knew that, but deep down… what if Jisung was right?

 

<>

 

Minho sighed and finished wiping down the counters from dinner.

“Can I get past you so I can do the dishes now Hyung?”

“No, Minnie, you don’t need to do the dishes tonight.”

Seungmin looked at him suspiciously. Minho had a plan though, and it involved specifically not doing the dishes.

“Could you help me get the laundry in though? It’s supposed to rain.”

“Ok.”

Minho had read up on the Kims, meaning, he read a bunch of reddit posts until he thought he knew them.

Mr. Kim-Park (That was apparently his legal name, no Minho had no idea how the reddit people knew that) had OCD. Minho wanted to test the limits.

Why was he doing this?

He had no idea.

If he took a moment and thought about it then he realized that it was probably a horrible thing to do, especially to someone who he didn’t know that well and who would be coming back from a long, hard day.

“Where do you want the laundry hyung?”

“Just put it on the couch, we’ll mess with it later.”

“Hyung, we're using the couch.” Changbin complained, as he was sprawled out with Hyunjin sitting on his legs for whatever reason.

“I can see that. And it’s bedtime soon.”

“It’s only 9.”

“It’s summer.”

“I know but Jeongin you need sleep so you can grow and be strong like Eomma.”

Minho tried his best to placate the youngest, but Jeongin for some reason, hated going to bed. Seungmin normally had to convince him by reading him a children’s story.

Once Jeongin was in bed Minho attempted to get the twins in bed.

“Can we just finish the episode first?”

“Yongbok - they break up - we’ve seen this show like eight times.”

“Jisung!”

“What?”

“Just let them finish it Hyung, there’s like twenty minutes left.” Changbin interceeded for his brothers, he did that a lot. Minho wasn’t sure why it was always Changbin, but it normally worked.

Minho watched his brothers carefully to make sure they didn’t ‘accidentally’ play the next episode. Once the twins were in bed Minho argued with Hyunjin for ten minutes.

“It’s not even 10 yet.”

“So what - you need to go to bed.”

“Why?”

“I don’t need to tell you why.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“You’re impatient.”

“I’m impatient! You’re the one that wants me to go to bed.”

Changbin just looked at his brothers, a bit lost. He had no idea how to dissolve the fight so he let them just nuke it out. Minho won of course, there wasn’t a real shock about that.

Hyunjin went to bed and Changbin tried and failed to get answers out of Minho, eventually he gave up and went to bed as well.

Minho sighed heavily and closed his bedroom door. He sat on the floor next to the door to hear everything that was about to go down.

This probably wasn’t a good idea was it?

Oh well, it was a bit too late to fix it.

 

<>

 

As soon as they got home Hongjoong made Seonghwa sit down at the table.

“It’s really too late to eat Joong.”

“You aren’t on a diet ‘Hwa, you can eat at night.”

“Fine.”

Hongjoong sighed and grabbed food from the fridge that had been set labled “Kims” with a sticky note.

There was cold soup, rice and some gochujang. Hongjoong dished some out but soon realized that his mate’s eyes weren’t focused on the food but the dishes in the sink. “I’ll take care of it, just eat, please.” the alpha placed the food in front of Seonghwa, the omega looked hesitant. His hand went up to his head, “I have a headache, I’m just going to go to bed.”

“Seonghwa - please eat something.”

Seonghwa stood up and turned around and froze, his eyes locked on the curtain and pile of clothes on the couch.

“I don’t understand, everything was clean when we left.” He spoke the words more to himself than anyone else. Hongjoong quickly walked over and hugged his mate, hoping to distract him.

“Hey - hey - it’s ok. Take a deep breath for me.” Hongjoong took his mate’s face in his hands, shocked by the temperature.

“Seonghwa do you feel ok?”

“What kind of question is that, of course I don’t.” Seongwha leaned his head on his mate’s shoulder in defeat, Hongjoong took a cautious sniff of the air, “Dear - I think it’s ok for you to lie down, I’ll wash the dishes, just go lie down. I’ll make sure you eat a lot at breakfast.”

“I don’t wanna move.” He whined, his voice muffled.

“It’s ok.” Hongjoong gently coaxed his mate into the room and shut the door.

This wasn’t good.

This was far from good.

It was horrible.

Hongjoong quickly scarfed down the food he had gotten out, and then immediately started washing the dishes. He didn’t understand OCD. Sometimes Seonghwa was fine and other times he was on the verge of a panic attack from slightly out of place pictures. It was different from perfectionism but also similar.

Hongjoong had tried for years to understand it and eventually realized that he never would.

“Why are you washing the dishes?” Hongjoong jumped, he turned his head, without stopping washing the dishes, to see the oldest Bang child.

“Seonghwa doesn’t like going to sleep while there’s dishes in the sink.”

“Then why isn’t he doing them?” Minho leaned against the fridge, why did he look almost taunting?

“He doesn’t feel well. If you could please fold the laundry that would be really appreciated.”

Minho stared at him for a few seconds before leaving to fold the laundry, only then did Hongjoong check the time, “Minho - it’s almost midnight, why don’t you go to sleep instead.”

“We’ve got nothing planned for tomorrow, sleep isn’t really a priority.”

Hongjoong sighed at that sentence, he didn’t want to blame anyone for having that mindset, but Hongjoong had a sinking suspicion on where it came from.

“Still, you should go to sleep.”

“What’s really wrong with Mr. Kim?”

Did Minho know something?

Did Hongjoong really know what was wrong?

He had a suspicion - but was it right?

“I think he’s in heat.”

Did he just admit that?

There was silence until Minho started to laugh, “He can’t be in heat. No offense but he’s too old to be in heat.”

What?

“Minho - omegas typically have heats into their mid forties and possibly early fifties.”

“But that can’t be-”

What kind of sex-ed had Minho had?

“It’s true.”

“But eomma hasn’t had a heat in three years.”

Well that was a problem.

“He said he was too old to have heats.”

“Minho your eomma - well - he.”

“Are you telling me he lied to us?”

What could Hongjoong do?

The most likely answer was ‘Yes, your eomma has been lying to you.’

“Minho - It’s not my place to suggest those things, but I think you need to talk to your eomma.”

“That’s exactly what Mr. Choi said, but if Mr. Kim really is in heat, how are you still fine? Why aren’t you some rabid, growling mess?”

Hongjoong began to put two and two together.

Chan’s ex-mate must have been abusive.

That’s the only thing that explained the behavior of Minho. “An alpha can and should control themselves regardless if their mate is in heat or not.”

Minho just stared at him, “So you aren’t just waiting for me to leave so you can go in there and rape him?”

Hongjoong choked on the air he was breathing, “NO. I would never hurt Seonghwa.”

“I’m not afraid to call the police, I’ve done it once and I’ll do it again.”

“I’m not going to hurt my mate.”

“What good is your word?”

“Minho - I don’t know the whole story of how you grew up but mates - parents - are supposed to love and care for each other, not hurt each other.”

Minho looked incredibly indecisive but also lost, it looked like he was still stuck on the fact that his Eomma had likely been lying to all of them for years.

“Joong-” Seonghwa stuck his head out the bedroom door. He was wrapped in a white bathrobe - it was the only non-black article of clothing Chan owned. “I think I’m in heat. It doesn’t make sense I’m early and- Minho.”

The teen just stared, eyes wide, at Seonghwa. He sniffed the air, “Why isn’t the air sour? Why does it smell so sweet? Why isn’t it rotten?”

Seonghwa looked confused, Hongjoong put his hand on his shoulder, “Seonghwa please just sit on the bed and wait for me.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Seonghwa please.”

Seonghwa listened and stepped back into the room, “That’s how an omega in heat is supposed to smell Minho.”

“Eomma never smelled like that - why didn’t he ever smell like that? Is something wrong with him?”

“I can’t answer any of those questions. Only your Eomma can.”

The two stood in silence for a few more seconds.

“You really aren’t going to hurt him?”

“No Minho-ah.”

Minho looked down at the ground, “I’m sorry for not washing the dishes.”

“What do you mean?”

“The dishes are normally done but I told Seungmin not to wash them because I read the Mr. Kim had OCD and I wanted to see how he would react. I know it wasn’t nice - I don’t really know why I did it.”

Hongjoong had sensed tension between the two, but he hadn’t understood why. Usually the only people tense around Seonghwa, were people who were self conscious of themselves and awed to be in the presence of the definition of beauty (Hongjoong might be embellishing).

“It’s ok Minho, it’s in the past. Try and get some sleep ok.”

 

“Ok-”

Hongjoong turned toward the bedroom door, “Our walls are thin - remember that.” Hongjoong turned back to face the teen.

“If you are hurting him we all will hear it, I have no problem seeing you arrested and getting the show canceled. Don’t think I won’t do it.”

“I have no doubt that you would, but really - truly - I would never lay a hand on Seonghwa with the intention of hurting him.”

Minho never dropped his stare, but Hongjoong couldn’t stand around. He had a mate in heat who desperately needed him.

He didn’t dare even think of what could happen next.

Chapter Text

Chan wanted to leave.

He wanted nothing more than to be home with his kids in the safety of his own home and not in a cramped apartment surrounded by kids that didn’t know how to talk to him. Was it that obvious that something was wrong?

“Mr. Bang the rice is done, can I dish it out and put it on the table?” Chan looked at Jun, he had been a significant help, Mingyu too.

“Uh - yeah, go ahead.”

Chan had been making dinner after getting home from Seungcheol’s job.

The job was a bit boring and monotonous, but Chan would rather be there than here. That was probably a sign that he was hiding from his problems but Chan deep down knew that that was the truth and that he had been hiding and running from his problems for a long time and that it was finally catching up with him.

It was clear now how messed up it was to just pretend to be fine the second his ex-mate had been arrested. He didn’t know how that affected his kids but he had no doubt that part of their problems were probably due to him.

Chan sat down at the table. The others soon followed.

“Dinner looks good.”

“You always say that.”

“Maybe it’s true.”

“You know that’s a lie.”

“Remember when Jisoo-hyung burned the ramen.”

“That was one time and it wasn’t as bad as the time Jun had Hansol help him cook and they burned the sausages.”

“That’s not fair, I was six. I’m much older now.”

“Still short though.”

“HEY!”

“And you’re really not that old.”

“At least I didn’t burn ramen.”

Chan just sighed, he had always thought his boys were loud, but they had nothing on the Chois.

The Chois were a new volume of sound that Chan had never witnessed before. He didn’t even know it was possible for people to be so loud. There were so many overlapping voices it was hard to tell what was even being said.

Chan placed down the cucumber salad as Jun finished placing the rice. “Oi- Jisoo can you grab the plates?”

“Yeah.”

There were so many people in the cramped area. The tables were already set up and half of the boys were already sitting with water and the other half were trying to get glasses filled with water or get silverware or put food on the table without one of the boys stealing food off the plates.

Chan sat down and just stared ahead. Soonyoung was firing with Jihoon for a seat nearer to the kimchi.

“Guys calm down.” Jisoo tried to appease his brother. “Stop acting like monkeys; we can pass the food around like we always do.”

Chan just looked down at his lap. Since when had he become so introverted?

Chan ate silently while the others erupted in chaos.

“Hyung you can’t eat all the kimchi.”

“Can you pass the soup?”

“I don’t have chopsticks.

“Just share.”

“Hyung can I borrow -“

“Are you kidding me?”

“What’s wrong Hyung?”

“I need to take a call.”

Jun stood up and stepped out of the apartment to the hallways, the table was silent for a only second before noise once again erupted.

Chan coughed loudly.

The boys looked at him strangely. Chan tried to drink his water inconspicuously. Jun had made the cucumber salad, clearly he had put too many chili flakes in it.

Minho was always conscious of the spice level of his food even if he liked spicy food.

“Are you ok Mr. Bang?”

Chan nodded as his nose started to run.

It wasn’t that spicy.

Why was his nose running?

Why were the boys suddenly pointing and staring?

“Mr. Bang your nose is-“

Big - he knew that was genetic.

Not perfectly even.

He knew that too- getting his face slammed against the wall and floor enough times would do that.

“Bleeding.”

Jisoo grabbed a kitchen towel and pressed it up against his nose.

Chan wasn’t expecting that he coughed - some of the blood from his nose got forced out his mouth. That just made the boys freaked out.

“I’m calling an ambulance.”

“No - no there’s no need. It’s just a nosebleed.” Chan waved Jeonghan off and slowly removed Jisoo’s hands from the towel pressed up against his nose.

Chan tried to stand but stumbled slightly and was only stabled by Jisoo grabbing his arm.

“Thank you.” Chan said out of habit, he turned to the bathroom - wait - was Jisoo the same height as him?

Don’t think about that right now.

Chan tried to walk to the bathroom.

“Are you ok Mr. Bang?”

“Be quiet Minnie.”

“Yes, I’ll be fine - don’t worry about me.” Chan, begrudgingly with the help of Jisoo made his way to the bathroom. He wished he could say this was the first time this type of nosebleed had happened - but it wasn’t.

If Chan thought back on how the nosebleed was triggered and how previous nosebleeds were triggered it was fairly obvious as to why it was happening.

Stress.

The enemy of any and all.

Stress was the type of monster that held many forms and presented itself different for all that it affected.

For Chan it was migraines and nosebleeds - probably the insomnia as well.

Chan hated that this was likely scaring some of the hungry ones, and probably spoiling others’ appetites. They needed to eat all they had or they’d never have nearly enough.

The omega pinched the bridge of his nose and grabbed a bath towel, hoping the bleeding would stop soon.

“Mr. Bang I brought you some water.” Jisoo handed Chan the water, he took it gratefully. He was probably dehydrated and blood loss wasn’t going to help him.

“Thanks Jisoo - go finish your dinner. This happens sometimes.”

“Yeah - I get it. Wonwoo sometimes wakes up with a bunch of blood on his pillow from nosebleeds, but it’s normally in the winter.”

Why was Jisoo still here?

He should be eating.

His brothers would steal his food.

“Jisoo, go eat your food.”

Jisoo just looked down, “Are you sure you’re ok. You seem a bit - I don’t know - closed off.”

Was he that obvious?

Of course he was.

“I appreciate the concern Jisoo-ah, but I can assure you that this isn’t the first time this has happened, so I’m completely fine.”

Jisoo looked unconvinced but left anyway.

Chan waited a few more minutes for his nose to stop bleeding and then joined the others.

He really should get that checked out. He needed to get better. Not just his sons but for himself.

He was worth something.

He needed to believe that, even if it meant he needed to beat it into his thick skull.

 

<>

 

Jeonghan knew something was off.

It was fairly obvious, but it had nothing to do with his brothers so why should he care.

If Jeonghan was anything it was lazy, but not in a bad way. He preferred the term intelligent and full of ingenuity. But it meant that if there was a problem that didn’t directly involve him or his family he was unlikely to help because there was no point.

The fact of the matter was Jeonghan didn’t really care about those people.

Why should he?

So why was his heart telling him there was something so wrong with the Mr. Bang?

The omega was so closed off. He was constantly on edge and he seemed very uncomfortable around them.

Jeonghan had originally thought that maybe he and his brothers had been the problem but they had laid back on the craziness honestly… so it had to be Mr. Bang.

But what was wrong with him?

The omega was incredibly good at deflecting. Any question he asked he gave an answer without actually answering the question.

It was infuriating.

Jeonghan turned to his side, now facing the wall his hand traced some of the photos he had sticky tacked to the wall.

Pictures of him and Jisoo. Chan’s baby pictures they took when they took him home from the prison. Appa had let Jeonghan hold him while the other brother’s stared.

There was a picture of his Appa pushing him in a shopping cart when he was 12.

The staff had given them weird looks but Jeonghan had always wanted to do it, and Appa wanted to give them any opportunity he could.

There was a slightly blurry picture of them at Christmas last year. There was a picture of Jisoo, Jeonghan, Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Hansol buying ice cream with money from their grandparents.

Another picture was of about half of them going out to a park that they pretended was a long hike to go camping. Minghao was wearing a large bucket hat and bright pink boots that he had chosen himself. It made Jeonghan smile every time he looked at it.

“Hyung?”

“Huh?”

Jeonghan turned to see Jisoo awake in the other bunk.

“You still awake?”

“No, I’m sleep talking.”

Jisoo clearly didn't feel like responding to that.

“Did you get Jun anything for his birthday?”

“I got him a photo of myself, so he can remember his older brother when he’s famous.”

“Hyung- are you serious?”

“Yes.”

Jisoo sighed, “You know I don’t even know if your lying or not.

Jeonghan laughed deeply - his voice had started getting lower - it was weird.

“Seriously, are you joking?”

Jeonghan just kept laughing, he preferred to keep his twin in the dark sometimes.

 

<>

 

Jun liked birthdays.

Appa had always tried to make each one special even if they didn’t have a lot.

Because Jun and Soonyoung’s birthdays often fell on the same week, Appa normally made long noodles for Jun and Seaweed Soup for Soonyoung.

Mr. Bang didn’t know that though.

Jun didn’t want to say anything though.

He already had go in for a photoshoot today.

He should be thankful that Mr. Bang had read the manual well enough to know that today was Jun’s birthday. He should be expected to know Chinese birthday traditions as well.

There should be hard boiled eggs as well - and dumplings, but there was none of that.

Just seaweed soup, kimchi, and rice.

Everyone ate breakfast calmly. They’d have cake later and sing. Mr. Bang left for work.

Seokmin did the dishes, Jisoo put the table away, Minghao dragged him to the living room for Jun to open his gifts.

Everyone got him something, even if some of them were a bit weird.

Jisoo had written him a kind acrostic poem.

Jeonghan had gotten him a picture of himself.

Minghao had drawn and colored him a picture.

Soonyoung had done an interpretive dance to a made up song about Jun written by Jihoon and accompanied with bad beatboxing from Seungkwan and Hansol.

Seokmin’s gift was a free joke coupon book.

Wonwoo gave him Appa’s gift, a smart phone, and Jun had given his old flip phone to Wonwoo. Soonyoung would be getting a smartphone later that week so Jun didn’t see the need to give it to him.

Chan gave Jun a hug because apparently his hugs were magical or something according to Mr. Seonghwa.

And Mingyu had given him a model of Jun made entirely of popsicle sticks, glue, and string. It was surprisingly well made.

“Thank you everyone.”

“Just so you know Youngie, I’m broke now so you aren’t getting a birthday gift.”

“Hyung that picture was two years old, you didn’t even pay for it.”

It was all lighthearted, but Jun really missed his Appa.

Jun was sure his brothers didn’t notice his feelings because he kept the same expression he always did.

“Why did we have seaweed soup for breakfast today and not noodles?” Of course Seungkwan would break the silence.

“Appa must not have written about it in the manual.” Jun looked down.

“Ah - that makes sense.”

“Wonwoo, can you hand me my old phone. I need to put in my old contacts.”

“Here, Hyung.” Wonwoo handed Jun his old phone.

He could only have six numbers saved, and normally the rule was you didn’t get a phone until
You were sixteen, but Appa had given him a cheap burner phone so that Jun could call his boss.

Jun sighed as he typed in the numbers of his boss’ number.

“Is something wrong Hyung?” Wonwoo asked.

Jun looked unexpectedly. He didn’t think anyone noticed.

“Uh - yeah, I’m fine.”

Jun checked the time, 9:20, the shoot was at 10.

“I need to get going if I don’t want hair and makeup to yell at me.” Jun tried to make it a joke. His brothers normally laughed at his random humor but today they weren’t laughing.

“Was that what the call was about last night?” Soonyoung asked. He looked almost sad.

“Yeah - I need to go.”

“He seriously called you the day before and demanded you come in?”

“On your birthday?”

“Hyung, do you really have to go?”

“Hyung?”

“Guys, I have to go.” Jun stood up, his brothers looked at him and then each other.

“You have to work on your birthday?” Chan asked. His pudgy hands held a green dinosaur tightly. The youngest Choi always had a way of clearly showing his discomfort even if it would initially seem indifferent.

“Yes Channie-ah.” Jun crouched down to be at his brother’s level. “It's ok, I won’t be long.”

“That’s what you always say.” Chan hung his head and walked away, dragging his toy behind him.

Jun looked back at Jeonghan for help.

“I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Help maybe - there’s nothing I can do about this. We need the money don’t we?”

“Of course we do but-“ Jeonghan seemed lost for words, “Well yes, but you can say no sometimes right?”

“I said no to the acting gig, I shouldn’t say no consecutively.”

“You know that word?” Jun threw a couch pillow at Soonyoung.

“I may be better at modeling then school, but I’m not dumb. My Korean is just fine.”

“I don’t like it Jun, but I don’t see a way out of it.”

Jeonghan looked at his twin in betrayal, but didn’t say anything.

“Just come back safe.” Wonwoo said.

“I will. Enjoy the phone Wonwoo.” Jun smiled, and grabbed his new phone and bus car, slipped his shoes on and left the apartment.

<a few hours later>

 

The shoot went worse than Jun could have thought.

Although he got to the shoot with plenty of time for his hair and makeup the stylist complained about his sudden weight gain.    

Had Jun gained almost a kilogram and a half in about a week?

Yes.

Was the weight unhealthy?

No, not at all.

If anything Jun was proud of his weight gain, he liked feeling and looking full and not like a walking skeleton.

Still he was yelled at because the fashion industry had to promote unhealthy standards.

Jun hated it, but he had to do it. He knew Appa wouldn’t be disappointed if he quit, but kids got more expensive the older they got.

Mingyu really should be playing sports but they didn’t have money to cover fees.

Seokmin should have singing lessons because he had a gift but they could afford it.

Jisoo should be enrolled in an afternoon language school in order to achieve his mastery of English but there wasn’t money.

It was all about money.

Money may not be able to buy happiness but without it there was little you could do.

“Jun - you need to drop the weight. At least two kilos.” Jun just stared at the director, “I only gained one - so why should I have to lose two?”

“Don’t talk back to me, you know no one else would give someone like you all the opportunities I have!”

What kind of person was Jun?

It was a question that the teen often had a hard time answering.

He was Chinese, but he was living in Korea.

He was smart, but not book smart.

He was a good model, but hated every second of it.

He loved his family, yet outsiders doubted that love.

So who was Jun? “I’m very sorry sir, I’ll try and do better.”

“Tt.” The director walked away.

Perhaps Jun was no more than a coward, unwilling to say the thoughts in his head aloud.

 

 

Chan got home from work and immediately went to make dinner.

The house was busier than usual, the boys were setting up handmade decorations.

“Where were Jun’s baby photos?”

“There’s only 2, remember.”

“Yeah but where are they?”

“Check the photo albums.”

“I did.”

“Then check the box in Appa’s cabinet.”

Chan tried to ignore the chaos in the living room and tried to get ingredients to make dinner out only to be stopped by the odd sight in the kitchen.

“Mingyu, what are you doing?” The boy stopped his actions, and looked up from his seated position with an incrementing look on his face. “Uh - tying ramen noodles to make long noodles.”

“Long noodles?”

“Yeah - it’s a Chinese birthday thing. We normally eat them for breakfast but you - uh I mean.” Had Chan done something wrong?

“Was I supposed to make long noodles this morning?”

Mingyu was silent. He just continued to attempt to tie ramen noodles together in one strand.

“Appa normally does.” Mingyu whispered.

Chan ran his hand through his hair, “Ok, well is there anything I can do?”

“Uh - could you help me with this?” Mingyu seemed almost shocked that Chan was willing to help.

“Yes, of course I can.” Why hadn’t Chan thought about this?

It was Jun’s 16th birthday, it was supposed to be special. Chan had always made a big deal of his sons’ birthdays because he hadn’t had a real birthday since he was 13… over 20 years ago.

Frankly speaking, tying noodles together was probably one of the dumbest things Chan had ever done, but he did it, because he would hope that someone would do the same for his sons.

“Ok I got the cake.” Soonyoung tumbled into the apartment. Chan turned his head to see the large white box the boy held.

“How’d you afford that?” Jisoo asked.

“Did someone drop it on the floor and then give it to you for free?” Jeonghan threw in.

“No,” Soonyoung struggled towing his shoe off but somehow managed without dropping the cake. “Hyungwon owed me a favor, so I asked him to buy me a cake.”

“Hyungwon - really-“

“Hyung stop, today isn’t about you and your stupid crush on my friend.”

Soonyoung put the box on the table, not even questioning the odd thing going on at the same place. Chan had the startling feeling of invisibility, as if he just blended into the old, stained wallpaper.

“I’m just saying.”

“When you get your phone you better not be up all night texting your friends.” Jihoon appeared from the bedroom with a stack of pictures.

“Oh come on, I wouldn’t do that.”

“Jeonghan texts Hyungwon more than you do.” Wonwoo said, “Has anyone seen my glasses?”

“You’ve been texting Hyungwon?!”

Jeonghan gave the impression that he was innocent of any crime, Chan found it endearing.

“So what if I have?”

“Hyung - make your own friends.”

“Exactly you guys are just friends, I think Hyungwon and I could be more than-“

“Nope - Nope - I don’t want to hear any of this.” Soonyoung paced in circles with his hands over his ears.

“Guys - my glasses has anyone-“

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Hyungwon was your brother-in-law Yoongie?”

“Brother-in-law!”

“Hannie, you're 16.”

“App was 17 when-“

“Glasses-“

“Isn’t your friend rich Hyung?”

“Hannie-hyung’s getting married?”

It was so chaotic. Voices overlapped, one cutting the other off, so much so that no one noticed the door opening to reveal a baffled Jun.

“Uh - hi.”

“JUN!” Everyone looked at each other before a chorus of ‘Happy Birthdays.’ Was heard all throughout the tiny apartment.

Jun stood shocked in the doorway.

“Guys-“ Jun seemed unable to speak. Mingyu grabbed the bowl from the table and brought it over to Jun.

“They aren’t real long noodles, but I think they’ll do?” It was a question, not a statement, as if Mingyu was scared of Jun judging his creation.

Slowly, a single tear fell down Jun’s face. He quickly tore his shoes off and stormed to his room.

Chan felt out of place this was an intimate moment between the brothers, he shouldn’t be interrupting.

“What was that about?” Minghao said what everyone was thinking.

“Did he not like the noodles?” Mingyu looked completely distraught.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that, Mingyu-ah.” The brothers all seemed to finally realize that Chan was there.

“I’m gonna go talk to him.” Jeonghan left.

“So - has anyone seen my glasses?”

“I think you left them in the bathroom Hyung.”

“Thanks Hoonie.” Wonwoo turned to go to the bathroom only to run into the wall.

“There’s a wall there Hyung.” Hansol observed.

“I can see that.”

“Are you sure you can see it?” It was so odd, the brothers moved past a dramatic event and threw in humor so casually.

Chan didn’t know if it was the healthiest method of coping, but it was certainly better than pretending everything was fine.

Perhaps it was a step in the healing process. Chan was sure the Choi’s were healing from something even if he didn’t know the full extent of it.

Maybe he’d be able to hear the sounds of his son’s doing the same thing.

Chan could only hope for the best and pray it would all turn out fine.

Chapter Text

Cheol had no idea what he was doing.

He thought that should be obvious, as he was never much of a househusband. Even as a single father his boys did many of the chores. Cheol really only cooked meals and went grocery shopping.

Seonghwa did everything.

Cheol was so exhausted from deep cleaning for the past three days yet he felt bad about it. It was just cleaning, he used to clean for a living.

Something about the Kims still didn’t sit right with him either.

They were loud, and rambunctious, but they were all under 12 so that was expected.

They were all very kind to each other though they were careful with teasing each other. Cheol found it so weird.

If one of his boys was wearing something weird his brothers would just tell him and it looked weird and then his boy would either change or fight back saying that everyone else looked weird. No one ever really took things personally though. If they did they told Cheol right away and the problem was dealt with.

That’s just how his boys were though. They were sarcastic, an outsider might call them mean but that’s just how they were.

The Kim’s though seemed very concerned with not hurting each other's feelings.

Except Jongho.

But the kid was three, he probably was too young to even understand fully what words could mean.

They always asked Cheol before they did things, frankly Cheol felt like Seonghwa was probably a bit of a helicopter parent and hadn’t given his boys enough ‘controlled’ freedom.

But who was Cheol to judge?

He had far more important things to worry about anyway.

Chan had set up a playdate for Wooyoung, except now Cheol was in charge.

Cheol had never run a play date.

Chan didn’t really have friends his age.

Hansol was bullied because he didn’t look Korean, so he didn’t have friends.

Seungkwan ignored anyone who was even connected with bullying his brothers.

Minghao scared the kids in his class because he wasn’t afraid to say it as it was.

Mingyu was definitely taken advantage of by some kids but at least played sports on the playground during recess with people.

Seokmin had friends in the school choir but had never once invited anyone over.

The kids in Jihoon’s class were scared of him.

Wonwoo had people that wanted to be his friends but he was too scared to talk to anyone.

Jun claimed he was too busy to have friends.

Jisoo was friendly with everyone but wasn’t really friends with anyone.

The only Choi that had actual friends was Soonyoung.

He actually had friends that had come over but teenagers are very different from five year olds.

And then Jeonghan had a very odd relationship with Hyungwon.

Cheol didn’t really know how to deal with that, but as long as no one ended up pregnant he was fine.

That sounded bad.

Of course he would still support his kids in that situation, but he had always been clear from the moment his kids got their blood work done at 11 that protection was a must.

“When is Yeonjunie getting here?” Wooyoung scampered up to Cheol in the kitchen. Cheol glanced at the clock - that’s what he forgot to clean - “Soon Wooyoung.”

“Like five minutes?”

“Sure.”

 

“YAHHH! SAN CAN YOU HELP ME COUNT TO FIVE MINUTES!” Wooyoung ran off to find his brother. Cheol didn’t flinch at the volume, his boys were louder all the time although only a select few could reach Wooyoung’s volume on their own.

“Is there anything you need help with?” To that Cheol jumped.

Why was Yunho the one able to sneak up on Cheol?

The alpha blamed the large house, back home his boys were never able to sneak up on him because there wasn’t room to sneak.

“I don’t think so. You should go play with your brothers, you should maybe get a board game out to play with Yeosang unless the two of you wanted to play with Yeonjun.”

In Cheol’s experience, eleven-year-olds liked to have at least a little bit of freedom. It was the easiest part of the tween years in Cheol’s opinion. Twelve was the worst.

“I don’t mind playing with Yeonjun.”

What kind of response was that?

“Do you want to?”

Yunho slowly shook his head no, “Then go upstairs and play a game with Yeosang, you don’t have to be friends with Wooyoung’s friends, just don’t bully them too much.”

“What? Bully?”

Poor choice of words honestly.

“Tease - just don’t tease your brother too much.”

“Oh, ok.” Cheol watched as the boy grabbed Twister from their cabinet of immaculately organized games and happily went upstairs.

Did Yunho normally watch the boys when they had playdates?

Cheol was so confused.

Everything about this family made no sense to him. They were completely opposite from his own.

Just then the bell rang. Cheol checked the clock again, they were about two minutes early, but he couldn’t really complain about that. He had finished making lunch and was just stalling.

“Wooyoung, Yeonjun here!’ Cheol yelled, Wooyoung came running down the stairs pulling San with him. Cheol walked over to the door and opened it.

“Good morning.”

Cheol got over his initial shock as he looked up.

Why was he so tall? Wasn’t he an omega? Why couldn’t Cheol be that tall?

“You must be Choi Soobin?”

“Yes.” The omega bowed, carefully, as if he was in pain. Cheol glanced over the Omega’s bowed shoulder to see a car in the driveway. “Is that your mate?”

Soobin startled, straightened quickly. “Uh - yes.”

“Where’s Youngie Eomma?” A little boy hugged Soobin’s legs. “Wooyoung’s inside.”

“Can I go, Eomma?”

Soobin looked at Cheol. “Of course.” Yeonjun ran happily inside, Soobin still stood awkwardly on the porch.

“You can come in.”

“I appreciate it, but I have a favor to ask.”

“Favor?”

The two had never met.

What on earth could Soobin need?

“My son - my younger son is in the car, and none of my other mates can take care of him right now. I know that this wasn’t discussed over the phone but I wasn’t told about the playdate till this morning, I didn’t have time to get a babysitter. He is normally very well behaved he’s almost three months old and-”

The omega kept droning on.

Was he really that concerned to take his son inside another house without asking permission?

The car honked.

“Soobin, go get your son. There’s plenty of room inside.”

“Thank you.” Soobin walked quickly, but cautiously back to the car, opening the back door and carrying a small child out along with a diaper bag. The window to the front rolled down. Cheol could see the man in the driver's seat, but couldn’t hear what he was saying to Soobin. Cheol had a suspicion that not all was well.

Soobin made his way back to the house, Cheol motioned for him to come inside. The alpha shut the door quickly, not caring that the man in the car was still staring at him.

“Thank you so much, Beomgyu will probably just sleep the entire time.”

“It’s no trouble, I have twelve sons, I get it.”

Soobin’s eyes widened as most people’s did when they heard Cheol had a dozen kids.

“Do you want to put Beomgyu down in a crib?”

“I’m fine just holding him.” Cheol nodded, “Do you want some tea?”

“Uh - no thank you, where are the boys?”

“They’re probably outside, we can go check on them.”

Soobin walked quickly to the back of the house, he had clearly been here before.

The omega opened the back door and let out a sigh of relief when he saw his son happily playing with Wooyoung on the trampoline.

Cheol stood by him, the omega was very jumpy. Cheol took account of what the omega was wearing.

A soft pink cardigan and loose jeans, it was summer.

No one should be wearing a cardigan in this heat.

The omega looked young, there was no way he was over 25, maybe not even over 23, yet he had a five-year old. Not that Cheol could judge, but something still wasn’t right?

“Oh I’m so sorry! I forgot to ask your name. I’m really sorry, Seonghwa-ssi normally lets me come over frequently so I’m familiar with the house and I knew that he wouldn’t be here, but I never asked who you were.”

With the way he rattled off paragraphs that could have been said in a single sentence, Cheol confirmed that the omega was young.

“My name is Choi Seungcheol, you don’t need to apologize, I’m sure it was a very stressful morning. I know how difficult raising kids can be.”

Soobin looked overly grateful.

The two finally sat down on chairs on the small patio.

“Where are Yunho and the others?”

“Upstairs playing a game.”

“You don’t want them down here?”

“If something’s wrong they’ll come get me or I’ll hear screaming, whichever comes first. Yunho’s very responsible.”

Soobin just nodded, “I’m shocked you trust the kids so much, I have a hard time leaving Yeonjun and Beomgyu alone.”

“It comes in time. Obviously you shouldn’t leave them alone for too long, especially since Jongho is with them, but at the same time they need to start developing their independence.”

Soobin looked in awe, “You're so different from Seonghwa-ssi, but I think I can learn just as much.”

What did that even mean?

“Is your mate at Hongjoong-ssi’s work?”

Cheol loved that question, he really did. He loved having to explain to people that he didn’t have a mate. It was literally his favorite thing.

“I don’t have a mate anymore. My ex is in jail.”

“Oh - I’m so sorry I didn’t-”

“Soobin, you really don’t need to apologize. I get that sort of question all the time.”

The conversation went dead for a bit. Soobin was carefully watching the boys, Cheol was watching Soobin. He was sitting, looking very uncomfortable. He looked flushed from the heat of the day, and his legs were at an awkward angle. Beomgyu was still sleeping peacefully in his eomma’s arms.

“Would you like some water?”

“No thank you, although, if it’s not too much to ask-” Soobin reached down to pull out a closed bottle of milk from the diaper bag, “Could you put this in the fridge, Beomgyu is probably going to wake up soon and be hungry.”

“Of course. Is this the only bottle?”

Soobin looked ashamed but nodded, “Is there any formula you want me to take in too?”

“Kwangmin doesn’t want Beomgyu on formula.”

Kwangmin must have been his mate.

“Ok.”

Cheol took the bottle inside and put it in the fridge.

Beomgyu might not drink it all, but if he did then Soobin would probably have to breastfeed, except he looked almost ill and if he had only brought one bottle, was he even producing enough milk?

There was a loud thump from upstairs, Cheol decided now was a good time to investigate.

The alpha lumbered upstairs and made his way to Yunho’s room, he opened the door, expecting a mess but was instead just met with laughter and playful banter.

“Yeosang pushed me!”

“No I didn’t.”

“You’re out hyung!” Little Jongho threw in, he looked so happy.

“No, I didn’t lose my balance.”

“Mingi, you’re a terrible liar.”

“UHHHHH!!!”

“Everything ok up here?” Cheol interrupted the game of twister.

The boys looked at him, “Yes, Mr. Choi.” Yunho answered quickly, he was still at ease, it made Cheol feel calm as if the boys trusted him to not lie.

“Good, I’m glad. We are going to have lunch soon, so in about ten minutes come down.”

“Ok.” The three boys answered cheerfully.

Cheol left them to their game and went back downstairs and outside. Soobin flinched as the door closed.

Yeah - that wasn’t normal.

Cheol sat back down.

“Do you work?” That was an easy question.

“I used to. I uh - I was a bartender, but I don’t work anymore cause I’m in a pack and my uh - my mates all work, so I stay home and take care of the kids and the house and stuff.”

“How many kids are there in the pack?”

“Just Yeonjun and Beomgyu, and uh - maybe another soon.”

Where on earth was this going?

“Is one of your mates pregnant?”

Soobin blushed deeply, “Oh - no - they wouldn’t, they aren’t interested in carrying. Last week we had the uh mating ceremony cause I was in heat and well - you know.”

He spoke about things so innocently and naively, it just made Cheol think he was younger, also if the mating ceremony was last week then Yeonjun definitely wasn’t the son of anyone in the pack and maybe Beomgyu too, not that Cheol was going to judge.

“What about you, I assume you work.”

“Yes, I’m a manager at a school supplies company.”

Soobin just nodded, Beomgyu stirred, his eyes opened. The baby's brown eyes were large and wide and curious.

“Are you hungry, Beomy?” The baby hiccuped and then started to wail.

Soobin’s eyes startled, “Shh Shh, It’s ok-” Soobin rocked the baby, and stood up, “I’m so sorry, he normally isn’t fussy.”

Beomgyu continued to cry, Yeonjun on the trampoline stopped jumping and stared at his Eomma.

“I’m so sorry.” Soobin rushed inside to get the bottle in the fridge. Cheol was almost worried about the omega. The alpha didn’t really know anything, but he had some thoughts.

“Boys, come inside for lunch.”

Cheol picked up the diaper bag and then called for the boys on the trampoline, they slowly came down and followed Cheol inside, Cheol made his way to the kitchen and got out nine bowles, utensils and plates. The older boys eventually made themselves downstairs too, Yunho carrying Jongho on his shoulders.

“Where’s Eomma?” Yeonjun asked, “He’s feeding your brother.”

“Oh.”

Cheol dished food up for everyone; rice, kimbap, rolled omelets, sliced carrots, and kimchi. It wasn’t a lot of food but if they were still hungry Cheol had cold soup in the fridge and applesauce.

Cheol watched the boys eat, wondering where Soobin had gone, he let the boys eat in the living room cause he didn’t feel like cleaning the dining room again. Cheol ended up eating most of the boys’ carrots, no sense wasting good food.

Soobin finally emerged, he had been in the lower level bathroom feeding Beomgyu. The omega was gently patting the boy’s back.

“Can we watch a movie?” Wooyoung asked, “Sure.” Cheol replied as he grabbed the dishes.

“No, let me do that.” Soobin interjected himself, “No you're busy.”

“Beomgyu will fall asleep soon, please let me help.”

Seriously, what was wrong with this guy?

“Ok, but then let me put Beomgyu down in Jongho’s crib.”

Soobin looked nervous, “I have twelve boys, I know what I’m doing.”

Soobin laughed, “I guess you do.” The omega handed his son over. Cheol took great care in taking the baby upstairs and putting him in the crib.

Cheol was unsure on how to continue.

This wasn’t how he was planning on spending his Wednesday, but could he really do nothing?

Something was clearly wrong, and how fast Yeonjun had reacted to his brother’s crying made Cheol think that something was going on with Yeonjun too.

The alpha made his way downstairs and to the kitchen, the kids had put on Spiderman or something.

Cheol went to help Soobin by taking the wet dish from Soobin’s hand in order to dry it, but Soobin’s hand jerked violently, almost dropping the plate.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I’m just trying to help.”

“Ok, sorry.”

Cheol just sighed and grabbed a dry towel, only stopping when he saw Soobin’s forearms.

The cardigan had been pulled up so the sleeves wouldn’t get wet, but his forearms were covered with bruises and … bite marks?

The alpha put down the towel and reached over, turning on the water.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

Cheol just sighed, he checked behind him, making sure the kids were all occupied watching the movie. “Soobin-ah, could we sit down in the dining room?”

Soobin looked so scared, “I know I don’t know you but - but I think something is wrong. I used to be a social worker, I saw this kind of thing all the time and-”

 

“No, nothing is wrong.” Soobin roughly pulled his sleeves down, Cheol couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t force anything out of him.

Both of the adults were doing their best to keep their volume down so they didn’t worry the kids.

“Look - my ex wife, she - she abused my kids.” Cheol whispered everything, it made Soobin listen more attentively.

“I didn’t know, cause they were scared and didn’t tell me at first. It - it messed them up and left them with so much trauma, but I can’t change what happened, I can only do my best to help them with the present and future, but if something is happening right now, you need to get out of it. Not just for your kids but for yourself too.”

Soobin lets the silence hold.

“Can we speak about this in the dining room?”

“Of course.”

The pair quietly walked to the dining room, checking on the kids again on the way. They sat down in chairs both waiting for the other to start talking.

“Kwangmin used to be nice. He always gave me good tips. He still talked to me even when I was pregnant, he said that he wanted a pack and had three other people that were already his mates but they needed an omega to be registered as a pack, so I agreed because - well - they had money, they seemed nice, and I thought they could give Yeonjun and now Beomgyu more opportunities than I could by myself.”

Cheol just listened.

This sort of thing used to happen to him a lot, people opened up about their trauma, he just listened. He wasn’t a therapist, he didn’t even have a college degree, just a lousy GED, and a Chinese Language Certificate.

“I didn’t really ever like Kwangmin in a romantic way but he really was nice at first, but once we got engaged he got different, and started threatening me and the kids, but I couldn’t leave him, cause I don’t have anything. And the others, Sang-jun is so rough, I told him I didn’t want him to bite my wrists but he didn’t care, and Eunji is so - she’s awful, she just, she doesn’t care what I want and she tells me, I’m not good enough, all the time, she hits me and threatens to hit the kids and I can’t let that happen, and Doona just goes with everything. She doesn’t talk to me, but acts like I’m not even a human and they just - they just want me to be at home, I don’t want to stay at home. Sure I want to take care of my kids, but I want to go back to school, but I can’t. I can’t do anything, I’m nothing. The only job I ever did well in was sex work but, I hate that I’m saying this, I got pregnant with Beomgyu and I couldn’t - couldn’t make money. I just hate myself, I can’t help the kids - I might as well put them up for adoption. They’ll find a better home without me.”

Cheol sighed, he gently went to gently grasp Soobin’s hand, “Soobin-ah, It’s going to be ok. Your boys love you. I know it sounds hopeless, but you can get help. I know a good lawyer and good social workers that can help you.”

“No, I don’t - I don’t deserve it. I was a stupid teenager, I never should have kept Yeonjun. He could be with a loving family, not with some degenerate slut.”

“You aren’t a degenerate slut, Soobin. I know it’s hard. I know everyone has been telling you the opposite but you are worth something, you can be a good eomma, you can be a single eomma, it’s ok.”

Soobin started crying.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t do this. I can’t just leave the pack, they have rights to me, I don’t have money.”

“I know a lawyer that won’t make you pay. He helped me get a divorce and parental rights to my kids, he also helped get my ex put away for 15 years. I can get you his number.”

Soobin looked down at the ground, “I don’t want all of this to continue, but I can’t do this today.”

“That’s ok. I know it’s hard, but - You are still young Soobin-ah, and so are your kids, there’s time to get out. I’m gonna give the lawyer's number to Seonghwa and only tell him to give it to you when you ask. I won’t tell him anything about the situation or-”

“Seonghwa-ssi knows.”

“What?”

“Well not everything, but - the two of us are sort of ostracized at PTA meetings. We got to know each other. He knows about my past. He and Hongjoong have helped me a lot, but - I never told him about Kwangmin because I knew he wouldn’t like it, but I - I thought that I needed to get married to have money and security, but I don’t feel safe, and I’m worried that they’ll start hurting the kids if I keep messing up, or if I don’t get pregnant or if I have a miscarriage or if I don’t make good enough food or anything.”

Cheol hated that Soobin wasn’t wanting out of it today, but he had seen this sort of thing before. People were scared about what was ‘normal’ even if they hated it.

“Then do you want me to tell Seonghwa-ssi the rest?”

Soobin wiped at the tears with his sweater, “Not everything, just say I joined a pack, things aren’t great, and the lawyer is a last resort.”

“As a last resort! Soobin I saw the marks on your arms. If you didn’t want your mate to bite you on the wrists and they did anyway then that’s assault, it doesn't matter that he was your mate. You don’t feel safe in your home, you said it yourself.”

“I know what I said, but I need some time to think about everything.”

Cheol leaned back in his chair, “Ok, I get it. I hope you get help, but I get it, It’s hard.”

Soobin nodded sadly, “Sorry for unloading everything and-”

“Don’t apologize to me.”

“Sor- I mean, Thank you for helping me, I - I just want my kids to be safe.”

“That’s all any of us desire. I hope you get help.”

“I think I will, I just need to think about it.”

“You are strong, ok, you can do it.” Cheol squeezed the omega’s hand, “Thank you Seungcheol-ssi.”

“You don’t need to thank me.”

 

<>

 

San had been watching ballet every second that was available to him.

He was currently watching “Sleeping Beauty” (the ballet not the movie) on Yunho’s ipad while they were in the car. San really liked it. He wanted to switch as soon as possible, but Eomma and Appa wouldn’t be home for at least two weeks, so San just continued to watch.

He liked the music, it was calm and soothing at some points and loud and boisterous at others, it was very danceable. San also liked the costumes, the bright colors and sequence, the beads and gems, the flawless makeup, San assumed that his appa would also appreciate the costumes.

“Why are you still watching that?” Wooyoung asked, he moved loosely in his booster seat.

“I like it, I think I want to do ballet instead.”

“What!”

“Youngie we’re in the car, remember the volume thing.” Yunho said.

Tight spaces often made Mingi uncomfortable, and loud noises in the spaces just magnified it.

Wooyoung just sighed, “I was going to join you in a few months though. I was finally going to be big enough.”

“Then just do ballet.”

“Nooo, ballet is for girls.”

“No it isn't.”

“Youngie, remember what eomma says about saying things like that.”

“That’s what the kids at school say.”

“The kids at school are dumb.” Mingi threw in.

San watched Mr. Choi was reacting to the conversation up front in the driver’s seat, but didn’t say anything about the conversation. They were on their way home from the grocery store, the trip had been exhausting and tiresome.

Mr. Choi had pushed the cart, with Jongho in the car’s seat, and the rest of them were supposed to hold hands and stay with the cart, but Yeosang had gotten distracted and they had accidentally left him on the fruit aisle and hadn’t realized until they were at the register.

Mr. Choi had been almost scary looking for him.

San pictured Mr. Choi like a police detective searching for a kidnap victim. San was glad Yeosang had been found, even if it had been scary at the time.

San was shocked that Mr. Choi didn’t seem stressed, if something like that happened with Eomma then the car would be in complete silence, because Eomma would be trying his best to not freak out, but to Mr. Choi, this seemed like just another day.

Was this a regular day for Mr. Choi?

“Ooo that was cool.”

“Ballet can’t be cool, Sannie.”

 

“Give it up Wooyoung, be nice.”

“I am being nice.”

“No you aren’t.”

“Guys, can we not argue?” It was the first thing Yeosang had said since they found him in the fruit aisle. The boys listened and didn’t say anything else until they got back home.

They helped get the groceries in and then Mr. Choi started dinner. San went to the couch and continued to watch “Sleeping Beauty,” the others veered off and went to do their own thing.

“Can I watch Hyung?” San looked up to see Mingi standing in front of the couch, with an adorable look on his face, “Of course Min.” San patted a spot next to him, Mingi climbed up and snuggled close to San. The two watched quietly until the ballet had ended.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah.”

“I know that I tried to do dancing a few years ago and I couldn’t do it, but do you think Eomma and Appa would let me try ballet with you?”

Mingi had always clung to Yunho or Eomma’s side, since when was he looking for someone or something outside his main comforts?

“I’m sure if we ask them together, then they can’t say no.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course Min.”

“Ok, don’t tell Hyung about it, I want to tell him, and don’t tell Wooyoung, he’ll make fun of me.”

“Don’t worry about what Wooyoung says, you know he’s still a baby, he doesn’t know what he’s saying.”

“Hyung -”

“Yeah.”

“I’m just a year older than Wooyoung, am I still a baby?”

San hadn’t thought about that, “No - not at all, I’m just a year older than you. Does that make me a baby?”

“Not at all hyung.”

“Then we aren’t babies, just Wooyoung and Jongho.”

The two laughed, “What are you laughing about?” Where had Yeosang come from?

“Nothing Hyung!” The two responded together, and then started laughing at their own response,

“Whatever you say.” Yeosang slowly walked away, not wanting any part in the chaos.

“I need to give Yunho-hyung his tablet back, do you want to come with me?”

“Sure!” The two jumped from the couch to the floor, and happily made their way to Yunho.

San wasn’t sure why Mingi had been more cheerful the past few days, but he liked it, he liked it a lot.

San didn’t like it when his brothers were sad, Mingi especially because he was always sad, but if he was starting to get better then San was going to do all in his power to keep the improvement going.

 

<>

 

Cheol turned the camera off and put it neatly away in the case. He was done filming for the day, frankly he was done with everything.

He had cleaned everything, gone grocery shopping, found a lost Yeosang, cooked all the meals, and had seen the kids clean up their own mess. The last part still shocked him.

They hadn’t even fought about it, they just did it.

What kind of parenting tricks did Seonghwa have up his sleeve?

Sure Cheol loved his kids, but they weren’t always the most behaved, not that he wanted them to change… Cheol didn’t know what he wanted.

He sat down in the bed looking at the pad of paper on the nightstand.

Seonghwa normally wrote before bed. He was trying to write his second book, but how much work could he get done if he only worked on it for thirty minutes a day?

How long had he been working on this second book?

In Cheol’s opinion, Seonghwa should spend more time writing and less time cleaning, the house was already clean and the kids were helpful enough where you could litigate several tasks to them and they’d all do them.

Yes, it was important to spend time with your family, but you also had to work. Of course Cheol didn’t believe anyone should be a workaholic, especially to the extent of Hongjoong and especially Chan, (The adult not Cheol’s son) but people should also not have any other life outside of their kids.

Seonghwa was essentially a workaholic, just for his kids and his home. That was actually a really smart thought now that Cheol thought about it.

Maybe he should write a book.

There was plenty to write about.

“Life Lessons with Seungcheol” That sounded like he was an ancient scholar.

“Raising a Dozen” That sounded like he was making bread rolls

“The Life and Times of-” that was an obituary.

Cheol gave up, he wasn’t going to try and write a book.

It would just turn into seeing how many times he can defame and bash his ex.

It wasn’t possible for it to be good literature, and his kids wouldn’t feel comfortable to have their story in print, frankly neither would Cheol so forget that idea. Books were for Seonghwa, not Cheol.

Chapter Text

Hongjoong hated that he had no idea what to do.

He had contacted the director about the situation, the director had been very upset, but decided to not stop the show, Seonghwa would have to spend his heat in the Bang apartment, which would be fine.

Seonghwa normally had very short heats, typically three days, but his heat had started four days ago and it didn’t seem like it would let up any time soon. Hongjoong could tell that Seonghwa was trying to convince himself that he wasn’t in heat, he would try to stand and walk around the room only to either have his knees buckle or for him to fully collapse from pain or cramps or weakness.

This wasn’t a normal heat.

But for as strange as the situation was, Hongjoong’s relationship with Minho had significantly improved, whatever beef the teen had had with them was seemingly gone now or maybe the teen was ignoring it until the heat passed.

Minho had not only done what he normally did (take care of his siblings, and make most of the meals) but he regularly knocked on the bedroom door announcing there was food, or that he was taking his brothers out for a walk or anything so that the couple would have the apartment to themselves for a few hours.

Seunghcheol had apparently made it a rule that the kids had to spend at least an hour outside and the kids had just continued to do that because they liked it.

Hongjoong was beginning to realize that Minho was an amazing cook, maybe even better than Seonghwa… not that Hongjoong would ever say that outloud, especially while his mate was writhing in pain.

“I swear I’m coherent, and fine.” Seonghwa rolled on his side, “You’re talking to a wall, babe.”

Seonghwa rolled to his other side so he was now facing his mate.

“I’m telling you the fever just hasn’t broken I-” Seonghwa stopped as he grasped his stomach, Hongjoong instinctively moved closer to his mate, holding his hand, “I’m so hot.”

“You were cold two seconds ago-”

Seonghwa waved him off as he took off the white bathrobe he had been wearing, and tackled Hongjoong, laying fully on top of him, “Hun, can I breathe?”

“No.”

“Ok.” Hongjoong knew there was no reasoning with his mate. When he was in heat Seongwha often had little control on what made sense to him. That’s what simply happened, and there was nothing Hongjoong could do about it.

Seonghwa moaned and pushed himself slightly up, “I need another round ‘Joong.”

Hongjoong sighed.

“Hwa that’s like - the sixth time - today, it’s not even noon.”

“Something isn’t right, I just - I just need it.”

Hongjoong looked up at his mate’s perfect face, he put his face in his hands. The omega’s checks were flushed and there was cold sweat covering his brow, his hair was slightly greasy from the sweat, the fact that Seonghwa hadn’t demanded he take a bath after every other round like he normally did should have told Hongjoong enough.

There was something very wrong.

“Do we need to go to the hospital?”

“No, I just need you ‘Joong.”

Hongjoong leaned up to kiss his mate with as much tenderness as he could manage, truth be told he was so tired, normally Seonghwa’ s heat awoke a primal instinct in him, but for some reason that was almost missing.

Hongjoong didn’t get it. He wasn’t any less attracted to his mate, their love had grown over the years, not diminished, so what was wrong?

Seonghwa deepened the kiss and began to grind his hips against Hongjoong’s. Hongjoong could feel some of the slick getting on his shorts.

Hongjoong pushed himself fully sitting up and began to more aggressively kiss his mate, This had to work, prolonged heats were not good for an omega’s health, and Hongjoong was sure they weren’t good for mates either, but he could only prove that with how he felt, which was selfish, he should just be worried about Seonghwa right now.

Hongjoong pushed Seonghwa onto his back, taking as much control as his mate would give him. Hongjoong ran his hands up and down his mate’s body, it was so warm, but also clammy, cold yet hot at the same time.

Hongjoong took great care kissing Seonghwa’s neck, every part of his mate’s neck and collar bones were covered in hickies, just how Hongjoong liked it.

As the kiss began to deepen further and Seonghwa sank deeper than he already was into the sort of twilight zone that was his ‘heat brain’ Hongjoong heard a gentle knock on the door. The alpha stopped what he was doing, “Hwa - I need to answer the door, I’m not leaving you.”

“No - stay, please stay. I don’t want you to leave me.” The omega’s eyes were almost scared, Hongjoong couldn’t do that to his mate, so he didn’t move from the bed. Hongjoong would just have to hope that whatever Minho needed could be dealt with without him, and that Seonghwa’s heat would soon subside.

 

<>

 

Changbin was worried about Minho.

He tried not to worry about his only Hyung, mainly because his Hyung was always worrying about them, but Changbin couldn’t help it.

Ever since Mr. Seonghwa’s heat had started, Minho had just been an anxious wreck. He was doing everything, but at the same time acted like he was accomplishing nothing.

Every moment he wasn’t taking care of his siblings was spent researching omegas in heat.

“Something's wrong with Eomma, Changbin.” Minho said suddenly one night while the two were washing dishes.

“What do you mean?” The topic was sudden, and unexpected. Minho normally only praised Eomma and only occasionally worried about him.

“He should still be having heats, like Mr. Seonghwa.”

“But Eomma said that -”

“That he was too old - yeah I know, he was lying.”

 

“Eomma wouldn’t lie to us.”

“That’s what I thought, but think about it. He - He is just as traumatized as we are, but he had to pretend not to be so that we wouldn’t be taken away from him.”

Changbin almost dropped the dish he was holding, that couldn’t possibly be true… even if it did make sense..

“Hyung, stop it. Eomma would never-”

“Just think about it-”

“NO.”

The two flinched at the volume and turned to meet the eyes of their siblings who were staring at them, “Is everything ok?”

“Of course, Minni-ah, Hyung and I are just joking around.” Changbin nudged Minho’s shoulder; the older didn’t react.

The others went back to whatever they were doing and the oldests went back to their argument, “All the research I’ve done shows that Eomma should be having heats for at least the next five years - at least.”

“What if there is an exception?”

“I looked into that too, Eomma’s not taking medication or birth control, suppressants, or anything that would be preventing a heat, and he doesn’t have a rare disease as far as I know.”

“So why isn’t he having a heat?”

“Stress and unresolved trauma, at least, that’s what my research says.”

Changbin scoffed, Eomma was the strongest out of all them, he had endured the most abuse, they all knew, yet he was still strong. He had persevered and became a well known producer that made really good money.

Surely he couldn’t have unresolved trauma.

“I know what you’re thinking, but-”

“You’re talking about Eomma, Hyung. We both know how strong he is, there’s no way he has unresolved trauma and he loves his job so how could it be stressful?”

Minho looked down at the ground, “I don’t think it’s work that’s stressful.”

“Then what is it?”

Minho paused and finished drying the plate in his hand, “I think - I think we are causing his stress.”

That time Changbin did drop the plate.

Of course Changbin knew that he and his siblings were a lot, but Mr. Choi had acted like they weren’t any sort of trouble. Eomma rarely nagged them and only corrected them when they were legitimately doing wrong. Changbin didn’t know the Kim’s well enough to know what they thought of them, but Changbin didn’t think they were that bad.

But was he just blind?

Were they all just a bunch of broken strays that relied on their eomma for everything?

“Hyung I don’t understand.”

“Do you think I do?”

The two stared at each other, neither wanting to talk.

“I can see where you’re coming from, but I don’t want to believe you.”

“Then don’t. Just wait for Eomma to come home. Maybe he’ll tell us everything he’s kept secret from us.”

“I hope so, Hyung, I hope so.”

 

<>

 

The fever finally broke on Wednesday morning. Hongjoong could tell his mate was exhausted. Normally heats invigorated those involved, but for some reason this one had done a number on both of them.

Hongjoong refused to believe that it was because they were getting old, and instead it was due to them being away from home and not being prepared for this.

The alpha slowly got up and grabbed the nearest clothes he could find (a black t-shirt and black basketball shorts because the entire wardrobe was black) and then eased Seonghwa to sit up. The alpha swept his mate’s sweaty bangs out of his face.

“How are you feeling?”

Seonghwa scoffed as if the answer should be obvious, “I feel like I was run over by a truck.” Hongjoong nodded, there was nothing else he could do.

“Do you want me to run you a bath?”

“Please, I’m filthy.” Seonghwa almost laughed. Hongjoong just nodded and picked up the bathrobe that had been discarded on the floor, and helped Seongwha put it on.

“I don’t hear anyone, so I think the apartment is empty, but just in case.” Seonghwa was as pliant as a pile of rubber, “I’m getting old ‘Joong.”

“No you aren’t.”

“I haven’t felt like this since I gave birth to Mingi a month early and they had me on like fifty medications.”

“Don’t think like that you know that only makes you feel like-”

“Like a total failure yeah, I know. But why did it take so long for the heat to break?”

Hongjoong grasped his mate’s hand tightly as he gently shifted him to the end of the bed, “You aren’t a failure, what happened with Mingi’s birth wasn’t your fault, I’m sorry the heat was so long, but have you thought that maybe-”

“It could have been avoided. Mingi could have been born on time and not had problems, according to your brother traumatic births could be a factor in childhood anxiety. I caused that - it was all -”

Seongwha was always his most emotional directly after heats, and depending on how the heat went he either had a new boost of confidence or he became a model of self depreciation. The omega put his hand on his lower stomach were a faint scar was still present, “I hate that I caused my own son to have-”

“Seonghwa, you aren’t going to talk to yourself like that, it’s not right.”

Hongjoong startled himself at his tone, he hadn’t meant to use the ‘alpha voice’ especially because he knew how his mate reacted to it, but he didn’t know what else to do, or if anything was going to make the situation better.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like-”

Seonghwa had started crying, tears streaming down his face, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Hongjoong hugged his mate as gently as he could, he truly hadn’t meant to distress the love of his life like that, “I miss them, I want to see them. Is this just going to make them off worse than before? How is Mingi doing? What do the other parents think of this whole situation? Are going to end and they're going to tell us what all the parents have told us for years. That we’re just freaks that should have never reproduced and our kids are spawns of-”

“Seonghwa, listen to yourself right now. Think about the other parents. Think about what they have gone through. Do you really think that they think that we are bad parents?”

Seonghwa looked down at the floor, “We aren’t perfect-”

“I know that, they know that. No one is perfect ‘Hwa, we all make mistakes, all of us are just doing the best we can.”

Seongwha didn’t say anything, but Hongjoong could tell that he was taking the words to heart.

“Let’s get you cleaned up ok.” Seongwha just nodded and leaned on Hongjoong in order to stand up. The omega groaned as he put weight on his legs, “Do you think you can carry me?” Hongjoong wanted to sigh, but that would make Seonghwa feel worse so he didn’t, “I’ll do my best.”

“A strong alpha can carry his mate easily.” Seonghwa was just joking, goading him honestly, Hongjoong hated that the comment stung though. His mate didn’t mean it like that, he didn’t, so why was it making Hongjoong feel inferior?

Stupid sense of pride.

Hongjoong turned around so Seongwha could put his arms around his neck, Hongjoong grabbed his mate's thighs and carefully fully stood up, basically giving his taller mate a piggyback ride.

Hongjoong struggled to open the bedroom door, but thankfully figured it out, he went as fast as he could to the bedroom, he noticed Minho in the kitchen, but decided to instead focus on getting Seonghwa to the bathroom.

He closed the bathroom door and set his mate down on the closed toilet seat, he began to run warm water and then check in on his mate, “How are you doing right now?”

“I feel like that five second trip lasted an hour, I’m exhausted.”

“Do you need me to get in the tub with you or are you fine by yourself?”

“I think I’m fine, I just need help getting in.”

“Ok, I’ll get you something to drink, you’re definitely dehydrated.”

Seonghwa laughed awkwardly, “I wonder why?”

Hongjoong smiled at his mate’s attempt at humor. “I’ll see if there’s anything with electrolytes, and then I’ll get food high in protein and carbs, yes you’re eating carbs.”

Hongjoong knew his mate still had a fear of obsessive carbs, it had gotten so bad at one point that Seonghwa had refused to eat rice.

At home now they normally ate multi-grain rice or brown rice, but getting to that point had been challenging.

Hongjoong helped his mate stand, take off the bathrobe and then step into and sit down in the tub.

“Do I need to wait to turn the water off or can you do it?”

“I’m not a child, I can turn the water off.” Seonghwa pouted, Hongjoong knelt down to splash some of the water in the tub onto his mate’s face, “Hey.”

Hongjoong just laughed.

The alpha stood up and carefully exited the bathroom expecting to still see Minho in the kitchen, but to his shock the teen was nowhere to be seen until he came out of Chan’s bedroom with an armful of sheets.

“What are you doing?”

“Airing out that room, could you grab the hydrogen peroxide, I couldn’t carry that too.”

Minho stuffed the sheets in the washing machine in the kitchen, “Hydrogen peroxide?”

“Yeah.” Minho started the cycle, putting in the detergent.

“Why would you need hydrogen peroxide?”

Minho stood up, shocked, “So that the blood doesn’t stain the sheets.”

“Why would there be blood? There wasn’t blood, was there?”

Minho stood frozen, realization started to dawn on him, “There wasn’t..”

“There should only be blood the first heat, and that doesn’t always happen.”

Minho was still frozen, “I’ll grab the bottle.” Hongjoong quickly left to grab the bottle from the room and return it to Minho.

“You really didn’t hurt him?”

 

Hongjoong looked up, the teen was talking to him, “No, I didn’t hurt him. I would never hurt him.” Minho nodded, but was still lost somewhere in his head.

“Oh - the others are, they’re at Yongbok’s taekwondo tournament, I stayed with Jisung, he doesn’t like all the shouting.” The teen was just rattling off information but there seemed to be no emotion behind it as if he was still stuck on the fact that there hadn’t been blood on the sheets.

What had this family endured for that to be his normal reaction?

“Were you making lunch for everyone?” Hongjoong was trying to change the subject, and do it gently but he had never been good at the gentle side of anything.

“Uh - yeah, I was making tteokbokki, and we have corn and some tofu. I was just gonna fry the tofu or something, haven’t decided yet.”

Hongjoong knew the boy wasn’t really registering what he was saying and just going on autopilot, but he also had a mission to get his mate back to normal shape.

“Do you have any drinks with electrolytes in them?” Minho seemed confused by the question but nodded, “Uh - yes. In the fridge there’s some Powerade. Just don’t drink all of them. Yongbok likes them and he’ll want one when he gets back.”

Hongjoong nodded, opening the fridge and taking a bottle of blue Powerade out. “I’m gonna give this Seonghwa.”

Why did Minho look even more puzzled.

“Shouldn’t I do it?”

“Why on earth would you -“ Hongjoong restrained himself, this was clearly an odd situation for the both of them , he didn’t need Minho thinking he was angry with him.

“I’m gonna just take care of my mate.”

“You don’t- you don’t make- do you usually take care of him?”

“Yes, of course.”

“But your kids, isn’t the oldest 11? That’s plenty old enough to take care of people.”

How could Hongjoong even respond to this?

How had Cheol dealt with this so simply to the point that some of the kids still talked about how much they liked him?

Even dealing with the Chois hadn’t been like this. There was a situation and Hongjoong could take care of situations. Situations involved actions and maybe some listening, but this was all about empathizing and explaining.

“Yes but Yunho-“ what could he even say?

Yunho was very responsible, sure he was a bit of a goofball sometimes but he was about the best eldest son anyone could ask for.

He did his chores, he watched his brothers, he shared, sure he got angry sometimes but everyone did.

But Hongjoong wouldn’t let his son take care of Seonghwa after his heat.

That just didn’t make sense.

“Mate’s should take care of each other in and out of cycles. Regardless of how responsible my son is, I want to take care of Seonghwa because he is my mate and I know that he would do the same for me.”

Minho just continued to stare.

“I want to believe you, I really do, but - I don’t think I can right now.”

“That’s ok, you don’t have to believe me right now.” Hongjoong wanted to leave and give Seonghwa the drink but it didn’t feel right to leave the boy by himself.

“Minho-ah, are you ok?” The boy seemed shocked at the question. “Yeah I’m- actually no I’m not really. But I just need some time.”

“You're doing a lot; you're a good Hyung.”

Hongjoong didn’t really know if that was true; he just assumed as much from the little he did know.

Minho didn’t react to his statement, “I need to finish lunch, go take care of your mate.” he shooed off Hongjoong as if the alpha wasn’t twice his age.. no Hongjoong wasn’t old…

 

<>

 

Hyunjin liked going to taekwondo tournaments, mostly because it was fun to see his normally loving brother kick others’ butts… not literally but figuratively.

Yongbok walked out of the tournament with two medals to add to his growing collection, Changbin bought them all icecream with his allowance to celebrate the win.

Hyunjin loved ice cream.

Yongbok had suggested they buy ice cream for Minho and Jisung as well but Seungmin said if they did the ice cream would melt before they got home, plus Changbin didn’t feel like spending any more money.

Jeongin was complaining to Changbin about wanting more ice cream, Hyunjin didn’t understand how his older brother was handling it as well as he was.

Changbin had changed, it had taken Hyunjin a while to notice but the teenager was definitely almost a new person.

It was strange.

Changbin was more conscientious of everyone around him, almost to the extent that Minho-hyung was, except Changbin was way nicer and never threatened to put anyone in an air fryer.

“Do you think Mr. Seonghwa is ok?”

“Huh?” Hyunjin looked down at Seungmin who was walking beside him with an inquisitive look on his face. Hyunjin resisted the urge to push his little brother's glasses further up his nose.

“Well do you remember Eomma’s heats, he was always hurt afterwards. At least that’s what I remember.”

Hyunjin didn’t want to think about those things.

Aside from the occasional noise from the bedroom Hyunjin had almost forgotten the parents were at the apartment. He hadn’t seen them in days.

“Why are you worried about that? Everyone is happy right now, just try and be happy.”

Hyunjin gestured to their brothers in front of them, Changbin holding Jeongin and Yongbok happily skipping next to them.

Seungmin’s mouth formed a pout.

Was that not the best thing to tell his little brother?

“Minny-“

“Just forget about it, you don’t care anyway.”

Seungmin walked faster to catch up with the others leaving Hyunjin trailing behind.

What was he saying really that bad?

Why did Seungmin care so much?

It didn’t make any sense.

Or was Hyunjin just dumb?

That was probably it.

 

<>

 

When they got home Hyunjin was shocked to see the Kim’s actually out of the room.

Minho was putting the sheets up to dry outside, Mr. Hongjoong was sitting with his mate, gently urging him to eat and drink. Jisung was nowhere to be found, but he was probably in his room listening to music. Yongbok proudly showed off his medals to all that would listen.

“Hyung did you finish the-”

“Yeah, on the stove and fridge.” Hyunjin watched his older brother begin to dish out food for everyone. Seungmin had turned the tv on, apparently there was a baseball game going on.

Hyunjin plopped down on the couch as Changbin handed him a plate that had separators to not get the corn mixed with the tteokbokki.

“Just use a spoon.” Hyunjin didn’t think it was worth arguing to get chopsticks too so he just took the spoon and ate silently. The couple carefully joined them on the couch, Mr. Seonghwa tucked by the corner and Mr. Hongjoong next to Hyunjin.

The alpha, in Hyunjin’s perspective, smelled a bit weird. He smelt more like Mr. Seonghwa then liked himself but maybe that was normal? Hyunjin had honestly been shocked Mr. Hongjoong was still here and the police weren’t.

Minho had been consistently threatening to call the police if something happened. That meant nothing had happened.

But how was that possible?

Eomma was always very injured after his heats and Mr. Seonghwa seemed fine.. or maybe he was just a good actor.

Yongbok joined everyone on the couch, finding space next to Changbin on the other side of the couch. “Hyung you need to eat.”

“I will Changbin - just let me get Jisung’s food too.”

“Guys there’s nowhere to sit.” Seungmin complained. The couple looked at each other uncomfortably and looked as if they were ready to leave so Seungmin could sit but the seven-year old stopped them by waving his hands. “You guys don’t need to move, I’ll just-” He stood in front of Mr. Seonghwa and put on his most likeable face which Hyunjin didn’t find partially likeable.

“Do you mind if I sit with you?” Mr. Seonghwa looked surprised but didn’t object, and helped get Seungmin comfortable in his lap.

What was his angle?

Hyunjin wasn’t a genius but he knew his little brother always had an angle. He had done something similar with Mr. Choi. Was he just desperate for attention? That had to be it there was no other explanation.

Jisung finally came out of his room and beelined for the kitchen where Minho was.

Hyunjin couldn’t hear what was going on between those two but he did notice how Seungmin casually distracted the couple by talking to them about the game on the screen.

Was that the angle?

Try to cover up Jisung’s problems by making himself the center of attention? Seungmin wasn’t that selfless… was he?

Hyunjin didn’t know and he didn’t have the brain complicity at the moment to try and figure it out, so he instead just watched the game.

Even though he hated baseball and would much rather be watching soccer. But that was besides the point.

 

<>

 

~Minho did not want to believe what was coming out of Jisung’s mouth.

It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be.

“Hyung, please say something.”

“Right, I’m sorry Jisungie.” Minho dropped to his knees and gave his brother a hug, it was probably too tight but Minho didn’t care. He couldn’t believe it.

“Jisung you’re supposed to tell me when you - when you want to do that and then I’m supposed to help you.”

Minho was trying his best to be quiet. They were in the kitchen barely ten feet away from the others. Minho didn’t want to have to explain to the Kim’s which seemed like perfectly normal parents that their lives had been and sometimes still where a shit show.

Telling Mr. Choi had been different, he had seen and experienced some of the same things or had least helped others that had experienced the same things.

The Kim’s though… Had they gone through anything?

Minho doubted it, after all they were still together, they had kids, they had money…

They were the model family.

Minho wouldn’t be shocked if the government had used a family photo of theirs on the population crisis propaganda.

Minho pulled back from the hug and grabbed his brother’s hand, “Let’s go to the bathroom.”

He gently led Jisung to the bathroom and shut the door.

Minho was shocked to find the entire bathroom cleaned after Mr. Seonghwa had taken a bath but maybe that’s something he did.

“Ok, it’s gonna be alright.” Minho tried to smile, he should be used to this, this wasn’t the first time.

So why were his hands shaking as he opened up the cabinet to get out disinfectant?

“Ok, can I uh see them?”

“I’m sorry, Hyung.”

“Jisung stop apologizing, please. It’s- it’s ok.” Minho gently rolled the sleeves of his brother's shirt up. He took in the sight. It could have been worse, Minho had to believe that.

Jisung could be bleeding out on the floor. There was surprisingly little blood even though the cuts looked relatively deep.

The teen began gently cleaning the wounds with wipes and then, with shaky hands out bandaids on the three wounds.

“What did you use?” Minho put the sleeves back in place and put away the wipes.

“Nail clippers.” Minho sighed, did he really have to take away all sharp objects? Was that even practical?

Would that make Jisung not trust him? That was the last thing he wanted.

“Ok, thank you for telling me.” Minho looked down at the counter.

Was this really his life right now? What was happening?

This entire swap had been a disaster. Sure there had been a few good moments but the majority was completely and utterly awful.

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?”

“You’d let me.”

“Of course.”

Jisung looked at the ground glumly, “Come on Sungie, it’ll be alright.”

“I’m really-“

“Please, don’t apologize, you know what Eomma would say.”

“Eomma wouldn’t be happy with me.”

Minho sighed. He didn’t want to have this conversation, he wished he hadn't had this conversation before.

“Eomma just doesn’t want you to be in pain, it’s ok to struggle though. It’s ok. Let’s go ok.” Minho gently coaxed Jisung out of the bathroom and into Minho’s bedroom, doing his best to avoid the gaze of everyone in the living room.

Minho eventually got Jisung settled in his top bunk, “I’m gonna get Jeongin in bed too and then I’ll be right up ok.”

“Ok, Hyung.”

Minho went back into the living room, “It’s time for bed Jeongin.”

Jeongin did not want to go to bed, but Minho with the help of Seungmin was eventually able to put the three year old in bed, but not before Minho could whisper simple instructions in Changbin’s ear. “Find any nail clippers in your room and put them in my desk drawer.”

It took Changbin several seconds to realize the situation but reacted quickly afterwards. ~

Minho went back to his room and quietly climbed up to his bed.

“Hyung, there's no room. We both are too big.”

“Don’t think like that. This just means I get to hug you tighter.” Jisung groaned but didn’t resist.

“I love you ok, we all do. Please don’t forget that.”

Minho hoped his words were getting through to his younger brother.

He didn’t want a dead brother.

“I know Hyung, I know.”

Chapter Text

Soonyoung had always loved his birthdays. It had been different when Jun had first come and then they often had to share the week but Soonyoung got used to it and began to look forward to June even more than normal.

Besides, having a birthday in the same week was better than having it on the same day, and somehow he managed to have four brothers that had birthdays on the same day and only two of them were twins.

Soonyoung didn’t even know how probable it was that Hansol and Seokmin would up with the same birthday but Soonyoung had never been that good at math.

Hyungwon and Dongyoung were also coming over for an actual party.

Soonyoung felt a bit bad that Jun not only had to work on his birthday but also didn’t have friends to invite over, but Jun had always said that all he needed was his family.

Soonyoung also wished his Appa was able to be present, but he knew that finishing the show was important and was going to end in a large cash sum.

Mr. Bang had worked hard to make seaweed soup after he checked in the morning that Soonyoung did indeed have seaweed soup on his birthday. The poor guy seemed traumatized by the incident earlier in the week and wanted to do his best to avoid another.

Soonyoung had always thought adults were invincible, but maybe they weren’t. After all there were times when Mr. Bang seemed to have just as much self confidence as Wonwoo… which wasn’t much. To Soonyoung it was sometimes even hard to see Mr. Bang as the one in charge. The omega seemed content to just blend into the background and not say much.

It also didn’t help that the omega was the same height as the twins… and they were growing.

“You’re going to love the gift I got for you Youngie.”

Jeonghan sauntered over to him and leaned up against the wall, interrupting Soonyoung’s thoughts, “You got me a picture of yourself didn’t you.”

Jeonghan just smiled and walked away.

“Wait - Hyung, did you really?”

“He probably did, don’t get your hopes up too much.” Jihoon said behind him, “Now, could you move? You’re blocking the doorway.”

“There’s no other place to stand.”

“Then go sit on the couch.”

“Mingyu’s vacuuming the cushions.”

“The cushions?”

Jihoon followed his brother’s gaze to Mingyu who was indeed vacuuming the cushions.

“That’s not normal.”

Jihoon tiskd and and walked past Soonyoung.

“Mingyu the cushions are fine.” Jisoo tried to take the vacuum away from him, almost hitting Seungkwan in the face with the vacuum.

“Be careful Hyung. You don’t want to ruin my cute face.” Seungkwan giggled, “You’re not cute, I’m cute.” Minghao said from the corner.

“No - I’m way cuter. Appa tells me all the time.”

“You’re delusional.”

“What does that even mean?”

Soonyoung didn’t question his brothers’s arguments, or how Minghao learned words that an eight year old shouldn’t really know.

“I think you’re both cute.”

Seungkwan tackled Hansol, “But I’m cuter right?”

“You’re both cute.”

“Uhhh!”

“Crap Crap Crap Crap!!”

Jun ran into the living room from the balcony still holding wet clothes, he ran past the tackle pile of Hansol, Seungkwan and Minghao (who had joined at some point) and Jisoo and Mingyu who were still fighting over whether or not the couch needed to be vacuumed.

“‘Scuse me Youngie.” Jun pushed past him and leaned into the bedroom closest to the bathroom.

“Wonwoo, I need you to finish hanging this up.”

Soonyoung heard shuffling in the bedroom and some kind of a grunt in response. “Ok, thank you. I need to go do something.”

“Where are you going?”

Jun looked back at Mr. Bang who was standing hunched over the stove. “Uh, I need to pick up something.” Jun winked… what was that about?

Mr. Bang seemed to get it though, “Ok, stay safe.”

“Jeonghan, get out of the bathroom!” Jihoon pounded on the bathroom door. “It’s Jeonghan-hyung to you!”

“Your boyfriend isn’t coming. It’s just Hyungwon.”

“Hannie-hyung has a boyfriend!” Seokmin shrieked from his spot next to Mr. Bang.

“No!” Soonyoung yelled.

Jeonghan opened the bathroom door.

“Uh finally.” Jihoon shoved him out of the way and shut the bathroom.

“I don’t have a boyfriend - yet.”

“Hyung!”

“Appa said no dating till we’re 30.”

“The bathroom!” Mingyu ran over to the bathroom door and started knocking, Jisoo ran behind him.

“Jun cleaned the bathroom.”

“I want to check it, it’s already been used six times since then.”

“You were counting?”

“I can count.”

“Ok the laundry is hung up.” Wonwoo shut the balcony door, Soonyoung looked at his eyes widen. The thirteen year old sighed, pushed his glasses up and stepped out onto the balcony to avoid the chaos inside.

Soonyoung casually walked over to the balcony and joined him making sure to close the door quietly.

Wonwoo laughed as Soonyoung sat down.

“Happy birthday, Hyung.”

“Thanks Woo.”

The two sat in silence, the balcony was really the only “private” space any of the boys had and even then you probably had someone else trying to be with your or neighbors doing their laundry on their balconies.

“You know Jeonghan-hyung is just teasing you about Hyungwon, right.” Soonyoung looked at his brother. There was sincerity in his eyes, it almost made Soonyoung believe him.

“He can like Hyungwon. Hyungie’s too oblivious to notice if Hannie-hyung likes him anyways.”

“I don’t think that’s the best method of coping.”

Soonyoung sighed and rested his head back on the glass sliding door. “I’m not jealous.”

“I never asked if you were.”

“Well in case you were wondering I’m not.”

“Whatever you say Hyung.”

“THEY’RE HERE!!”

The brothers looked at each other, “I’m going to assume my friends are here.”

Wonwoo laughed and followed his brother inside.

“Soonyoung!” Dongyoung exclaimed as Soonyoung engulfed him in a hug. “If you don’t like your gift don’t blame me, my dad designed it.”

Dongyoung’s dad was a pretty famous fashion and music influencer with his own podcast called Johnny’s Culture Corner, Soonyoung had never listened to it because Dongyoung said it was embarrassing, but the man must have had some kind of fashion sense to make it as far as he did. Dongyoung handed Soonyoung a small wrapped box.

“Thank you, you really don’t have to get me anything. I didn’t get you anything on your birthday.”

Dongyoung brushed him off, “You did that freestyle dance instead and it was hilarious, I still have the video.” The two laughed together before they were interrupted by Hyungwon.

“Hi guys.” Hyungwon wrapped his long arms around both of them and didn’t let go for several seconds.

“Congratulations you made it another year.”

“You make it sound like I’m dying.”

“Well you are-“ Hyungwon paused, realizing how that sounded and then corrected himself. “We all are. Everyday we are one step closer to death an-“

“Hyung.” Dongyoung patted his shoulder, “Just stop.”

“Ok, but I didn’t mean it like-“

“WOW!”

The trio turned to see Seokmin staring at the two opened bundles Hyungwon had brought.

“Is that food?” Mingyu asked, Soonyoung realized his brother no longer was wearing rubber gloves or holding cleaner.

“Uh yeah, my Eomma made it all.” Hyungwon walked over to the bundles on the ground only to stop right in front of Mr. Bang, “Did your dad adopt another one?”

“No-“

“Sorry, I should have introduced myself.” Mr. Bang stuck out his hand after wiping them down on his apron, “I’m Bang Chan, we’re all still on Parent Swap.”

“Ohhhh.” Hyungwon nodded, “Wait, you’re still filming?” Dongyoung looked shocked.

“Yeah, we film for like another two weeks. I don’t know, one week, I don’t want to think about it.”

“Hi Hyungwon.”

“Oh, Jeonghan, hi.”

Soonyoung wanted to strangle his brother.

“How have you been?”

“Uh, fine, my brothers have been driving me crazy but I love them too.”

“I know exactly how you feel.”

Somewhere in the background Soonyoung heard Minghao fake gag.

“Ok, the soup is done.” Mr. Bang carefully set the large pot on the table, it was the largest pot they owned. Soonyoung had no idea how he was lifting it full of soup seemingly so easy.

There were cheers from everyone. “It smells so good Mr. Bang.”

“Thanks Hansol.”

“Ok everyone here is all of our chopsticks, I think we’ll have enough.” Jisoo started passing out pairs of chopsticks that he held in his hand. “These are training ones.” Jihoon held his’ up, “Maybe you still need some practice, Hyung.”

Jihoon glared at Mingyu and swapped their chopsticks.

“There’s not going to be room for Jun-Hyung.” Seokmin noticed.

Hyungwon and Dongyoung looked at their spots on the floor and shifted closer to Soonyoung trying to make more room.

“I’ll give up my seat.” Seungkwan announced loudly and obnoxiously sat down in Jeonghan’s lap, obstructing his view of Hyungwon. Soonyoung would have to thank him later.

“There still won’t be room.” Wonwoo observed, and he wiped his glasses off from the steam from the soup.

“Seokmin come here.” Jisoo called.

“Why do I have to sit in your lap, I’m number eight.”

Soonyoung had never thought that it was weird to refer to oneself as the number of birth order but he noticed how Mr. Bang looked uncomfortable as the mentioning of oneself as a number…. Weird…

“Make Mingyu do it.”

“Me why me. What about Minghao, Hansol and Chan?”

“I’m already sitting with Mr. Bang.”

“Minghao’s butt is too bony and Hansol won’t move to help you get food.”

“Yes I would.”

“My butt isn’t bony.”

“Then make Jihoon-Hyung do it.”

“Excuse me! I will shove these up your eye.” Jihoon threatened, doing his best to wield utensils in an intimidating manner.

Dongyoung started laughing, “You’re so funny Jihoon.”

“I’m not joking.”

Dongyoung just kept laughing, Soonyoung would have to convince him his brother wasn’t joking later.

Mingyu eventually relented and crawled into Jisoo’s lap

“Should we eat now or wait for Jun?” Mr. Bang addressed the question directly to Soonyoung.

“Uh, does anyone know where Jun is?”

“He’s picking up a-“

Jeonghan nudged Seungkwan to get him not to say anything. “He had to pick up his paycheck.” Jeonghan lied smoothly, at least Soonyoung assumed he was lying but didn’t want to argue at the moment.

“Ok, then I think we should start eating.”

Soonyoung smiled and the large group began digging in.

The amount of food Hyungwon’s Eomma had sent made the modest lunch of seaweed soup, rice, and kimchi almost look like a pauper’s meal.

But that was how it always was when Soonyoung was with his friends.

The three had a close bond that they’d shared since elementary school and all of their parents treated the three of them as their own children.

It sometimes made Soonyoung feel guilty for having friends and enjoying the sort of second and third sets of parents that his friends shared with him and his brothers all had to compete for the attention of Appa.

So why did Soonyoung have such a hard time sharing his friends?

Why did Jeonghan-hyung’s ‘advances’ with Hyungwon make him so uncomfortable and ignite jealousy within him.

His brothers and him had always shared everything, they had to.

Nothing they owned was truly theirs, with the only exception being Wonwoo’s glasses and Jun and Hansol’s EpiPens, everything else was shared.

Showers either had to be five minutes in length or shared with someone else which would gain them five extra minutes for each person.

Clothes were free game for anyone, especially if they fit. Even uniforms as long as they were the same school were not kept by a single person but shared between all that went to the same school and name tags were simply exchanged right before they went into school.

Food was a battlefield.

Who had to grab it before someone else did or else you’d get little to nothing.

But Soonyoung’s friends were his own.

He had made them himself. They had all been in the same dance club since the third/fourth grade and had performed for every single school festival since the sixth/seventh grade.

Hyungwon and Dongyoung had been the first outsiders to realize that some truly terrible things were happening. They had not only encouraged him to call the cops but their parents had aided Appa in the court case and helped him find a good lawyer and even offered to help cover legal fees.

Soonyoung had no idea if Appa had accepted the financial help, but it was the thought that counted.

“Jun-hyung!” Minghao clapped his hands together as Jun finally got back.

“Hi, everyone. Hello, Dongyoung and Hyungwon.”

“What are you holding?”

Soonyoung turned his head to actually see his brother holding a large white box.

“I have your birthday gift.”

“Really?”

Mr. Bang got up and helped Jun put the box in the freezer.

“Why are you putting it in the freezer?”

“Did you buy a box of ice?”

“So you weren’t picking up your paycheck?”

“You need to sit down soon or there’s going to be no food left.”

“I didn’t buy a box of ice.” Jun just smiled and didn’t answer any of the further questions.

The family and friends finished the food and Jun finally revealed the massive chocolate ice cream cake he had bought for Soonyoung.

“I was nervous it would all melt before I got back, but it still looks alright.”

“It looks amazing, thank you Jun!” Soonyoung leaned over several of his brothers to hug Jun.

“It was Mr. Bang’s idea, he even gave me the shop’s number.”

“Really.” Soonyoung let go of his brother and looked at Mr. Bang, he looked embarrassed but nodded, “I get all of my kids’ cakes there.”

Somehow that made the cake taste better.

Soonyoung still didn’t really understand Mr. Bang, they hadn’t talked one on one, but the fact that Mr. Bang had helped get Soonyoung a gift when they barely knew each other made Soonyoung like the omega more.

Maybe the man had a hard time connecting with people but still wanted to help all those he could and make the most of a situation that everyone seemed to want to be over.

The small army finished the cake completely and then went to open presents. Jeonghan had actually gotten Soonyoung photos of himself.

“At least they’re good photos.” Jisoo tried to make the present better.

“Are there bad photos of Jeonghan?” How was Hyungwon so oblivious?

Soonyoung thought he was pretty oblivious but his friend took the cake as the most oblivious.

Jeonghan just smiled and Soonyoung moved on.

Most of the gifts were hand made as no one really had money the bought gifts were given last.

The first being Appa’s gift, a smart phone. Soonyoung knew that that was the gift but he was still grateful and was curious on how Appa had afforded to buy two phones in such close succession and had done the same thing the previous year.

Dongyoung had gotten him a tiger phone case and a nice card that had a convenience store gift card almost as if his best friend knew he frequently went to the convenience store after practice to just stare at food he didn’t have money to buy.

Hyungwon had gotten him new tennis shoes.

“These are the best for dancing. And I think you’ll be dancing through your shoes faster than normal so-“

“Why would you be doing that?”

“Are you going to a competition?”

“Did the duck tape fall off your old ones?”

As much as Soonyoung loved his brothers, he wished they would not ask questions sometimes.

Hyungwon just looked at Soonyoung confused, of course his friend had assumed he had told
His family about the audition but Soonyoung had not so much as uttered a word about it since he came clean to Mr. Hongjoong a few weeks ago.

“We’ve been planning on preparing something extra special for the opening of the school year, that's all.” Soonyoung knew he wasn’t as good a liar as Jeonghan but he was still a close second.

His brothers seemed to believe the lie and Dongyoung seemed to understand that Soonyoung hadn’t told everyone so he kept Hyungwon from saying anything else.

After presents they played a few games, mainly specific charades which almost landed Mingyu a concussion when he tried to do a walking handstand when he pulled the card, ‘Jisoo doing a walking handstand.’

Thankfully Mr. Bang had caught him just in time.

Mr. Bang also showed off his guitar skills when he was trying to imitate Jihoon.

“You can play the guitar.”

“Yeah, my dad taught me - I can play the piano too.” He seemed hesitant to share more information about himself but seemed to be more at ease when he did finally relinquish the little facts about himself.

Everyone had gotten slightly scared when Seokmin had started arguing with Chan, but the littlest one had fought back and it ended up being seokmin’s best attempt to mimic Seungkwan and Chan arguing.

Soonyoung laughed at the attempts, everyone did. His family was basically comedians. He knew his friends were having a good time, he knew Jeonghan was having a good time ogling Hyungwon and Hyungwon was ogling back.

Soonyoung didn’t really have an issue with his brother getting into a relationship… did he?

Soonyoung knew Hyungwon would never hurt his brother intentionally, he was a bit dense but he was true to his friends and family and loved with his whole heart.

Jeonghan would make anyone happy… that was probably a lie. Jeonghan was sometimes too smart for his own good and had fast remarks which often got him in trouble with idiots at school. Aside from that he still had some trepidation around older alphas and middle aged women from everything that happened when they were younger.

But Jeonghan was beautiful, as much as it was weird for Soonyoung to think of his brother that way he knew his brother looked good, of course people would want to date him.

So the question remained: Did Hyungwon want to date Jeonghan?

Soonyoung didn’t even know if he wanted the answer.

 

<>

 

As far as Bang Chan was concerned the party was going well.

The soup he had prepared had not only tasted decent but had also been the right dish. Soonyoung was grateful to everyone that had given him gifts and didn’t make his younger brothers seem awkward when all they could give him was a singing performance of ‘Gee’ by Girls Generation.

The games had been fun and potentially harmful but Mingyu was fine and Hyungwon had only barely hit his foot on the wall when everyone inevitably started trying to do walking handstands.

Tensions in the house had been higher than normal between Soonyoung and Jeonghan but Chan didn’t really think it was wise to intervene unless the situation presented itself.

The boys were old enough where they could deal with some of their own drama between the brothers solely between the arguing parties. There would be times when they would need an adult to either supervise or help with ‘negotiations’ but they were growing up and needed to learn how to sort problems by themselves.

Perhaps this approach was too hands off, but Chan didn’t really know another way to deal with this type of problem. Which was why when Soonyoung’s friends left Chan was left in complete shock in how to deal with the fight that broke out.

“He doesn’t like you!”

“You’re just jealous he doesn’t like you!”

“Why would I be jealous? I’m not desperate! He was my friend first!”

“Guys-“

“You think I’m taking him away from you don’t you?”

“He doesn’t like you!”

“Why do you sound unsure about that?”

“I’m not unsure! Stop your stupid games!”

“I’m not playing a game.”

“You’re always playing a game! Is Hyungwon just a game to you! Is he just some prize to be won?”

“No!”

“Why are you treating him like that? Only acting all pretty and nice! That’s not who you are!”

Chan really should step in.

“I’m nice.”

“No - you're just as broken as the rest of us! You’re covering up your pain with this game you're playing with my friend!”

Why was Chan such a coward?

“I’m not hiding anything! You’re the one that’s scared you’re losing control of the only thing you ever had in your control.”

Soonyoung didn’t respond.

“You think that since you couldn’t protect me, or Jisoo, or Jun, or Wonwo, or Jihoon, or-“

“That’s enough guys.” Chan tried to be strong. He stood between them with his arms outstretched to put distance between the two sixteen-year olds.

“Look, I don’t know what exactly you guys went through, but this is now way to treat each other.” What had these children been though?

Was it similar to what he and his kids had endured?

“Take a look around at your brothers. They’re scared right now.”

Chan watched carefully as the boys looked at their younger and older brothers.

Jisoo looked close to a panic attack.

Jun was protectively holding Minghao and little Chan.

Wonwoo was just looking straight ahead, he looked terrified.

Jihoon looked ready to punch something or someone.

Seokmin and Seungkwan were crying silent tears, they both seemed to not realize there were tears streaming down their faces.

Mingyu had gone to stand in the corner pretending he wasn’t there.

And Hansol was staring at the floor, Chan assumed he was disacciating.

“I know you guys don’t want to hurt your brothers, and you might feel like you want to say something to hurt each other, but think about it, would you regret those words in a few days?”

Soonyoung looked down at the ground, Jeonghan just looked straight ahead.

“I know I’m not your Appa, but I know your Appa would not want you guys to be fighting like this. Do you both understand?”

The two brothers looked at each other but said nothing.

“Don’t understand?”

“Just answer him dammit.”

“Jihoon-hyung said a bad word!”

“Yeah I did, and I will and can do worse!” Jihoon grabbed Jeonghan’s shoulders. “Take back what you said about Hyung not protecting us! If you think like that then you didn’t protect us either. But is anyone blaming you? No! It’s not any of our faults! It’s that bitch’s fault! And you-“ Jihoon let go of Jeonghan's shoulders and pointed his finger at Soonyoung. “We’re all a little broken, it’s just who we are right now, but if Jeonghan-Hyung wants to move on then let him ugh.” Jihoon sighed.

“Get some sense you two!” Jihoon stormed off about five feet away to his room, not even bothering to shut the door.

Chan cleared his throat, “You heard your brother.”

“I’m sorry-“

The boys said it at the same time. Soonyoung gestured from Jeonghan to go first.

“I’m sorry I said what I did, but I’m not playing games with Hyungwon - I - I really do like him.”

There were some dramatic gaps heard from the crowd of family.

“I’m sorry I said that you were broken, I didn’t- I didn’t really mean it. And I have a confession to make?”

It was like the entire world paused.

Soonyoung took a deep breath and began his story, “I wanted to wait till Appa was here but I can’t hold this anymore. I was scared to say anything because I thought you’d all make fun of me, but I can’t hide it anymore. My friends and I all auditioned for BOMG, and we all passed and were just waiting to all get permission to become trainees. But we all want to train together, and this is our chance. I know it’s stupid and probably won’t work out but - but I have a dream, and I think I can do it. I think we all can.”

No one responded.

“You were a trainee, right?” Soonyoung looked at Chan.

Chan didn’t want to think of all those memories.

Back when he was thirteen he had so much hope of debuting and becoming world famous, but it soon turned to the worst when JYP had no prospects of producing a boy group, and Chan had fallen in love and gotten pregnant. What could Chan say to someone that still had that hope though?

“Yes, I was.”

“Soonyoung, do you want to do this?” Jisoo looked at him intently.

“Yes, do you think Appa would let me?”

No one answered for several seconds, “I think he will.” Jeonghan gave a small smile, “Appa’s protective of us, sure, but - he wouldn’t stop us from pursuing our dreams.”

“Thanks, Hyung.”

 

Chan was just finishing the dishes when Seokmin approached him.

“Mr. Bang.”

“Yes, Seokmin-ah.”

“How did you handle that argument?”

Chan stopped washing the dishes and turned the water off and faced Seokmin, “I didn’t handle it that well, Jihoon knew how to handle it better than me.”

“Jihoon-hyung is scary sometimes.”

Chan laughed, “I have a son that’s like that sometimes.”

“Mr. Bang-“

“Yes.”

“Do you think Soonyoung would make a good idol?”

Would Soonyoung make a good idol?

Would Chan have made a good idol?

Would anyone make a good idol?

“I think if he works hard and keeps a good mindset, then there’s no reason why he can’t be a good one.”

Seokmin nodded, “I see.”

The boy didn’t move for a while so Chan went back to washing dishes. “Did someone tell you what happened to us?”

Chan stopped washing the dishes again and faced Seokmin.

“No.”

“Oh.”

Should Chan say something? “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“Ok.” Seokmin paused again, “I think it’s pretty cool that you stepped in like that. I’m too scared to do that. Appa does it too sometimes.”

“You can be brave too. I know it’s scary but anyone can be brave.”

“I’ll try and be brave.” Chan patted Seokmin on the head, “You’re a good kid, Seokmin-ah.”

“Thanks Mr. Bang.”

Seokmin skipped off to watch the end of a drama with Jun, Chan, Minghao and Jisoo.

Wonwoo was helping Seungkwan and Hansol make the bed on the ground and Jihoon was taking the laundry down.

Soonyoung and Jeonghan were making up in one of the rooms.

Mingyu was probably in the bathroom.

It was a busy but pleasant sight.

That’s how the Choi’s were though. They were loud, crowded and a bit cranky sometimes, but they loved each other to the fullest extent.

Even their arguments, they’d get heated but they’d work it out.

They were a family.

They were similar to Chan’s kids.

They were just a little further along on their journey of healing.

>Chan wished them only the best, and hoped that he and his kids could one day get there too.

Chapter Text

Cheol turned the alarm off. He checked the time, 7:45. It was honestly way too late to get up but he understood if Hongjoong normally wasn’t sleeping till 2 then it made sense to get up near 8, but Cheol had conditioned his body to wake up at the slightest noise now, and to never sleep past 7, so for the past few days he had just been laying in bed until the alarm went off.

Cheol checked the closet to see if anything less uncomfortable had been put in there. He was in no luck and was stuck with clothes that were always slightly too small everywhere.

The ‘baggy’ clothing just about fit him,but hung oddly.

Cheol ended up settling for black t-shirt that was loose at the collar, Cheol didn’t want to know why, and then paired it with loose black canvas pants. Once he looked in the mirror he realized it was an outfit Chan would wear so he changed the shirt to a short sleeves Gray collared shirt that had textured black stripes.

Cheol didn’t understand fashion, but supposed that a fashion designer was supposed to look good.

Cheol didn’t know how to do that. He combed his hair and used some voluminousing powder or at least that’s what the packaging said. It actually just made his black hair, floofy.

“I need a haircut.” Cheol sighed and left the bathroom, making the bed before heaving out.

He walked calmly down the stairs noticing a few of the boys were downstairs. Since it was summer, there was no need for the boys to get up before Cheol, but a few of them still woke up at their regular time.

Bumjoong was in the kitchen finishing breakfast.

He was a stereotypical kind of beta. Not too tall, not too short. He was relatively even tempered and good at cooking, although that almost certainly came from his years of living on his own rather than his secondary gender.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning, Bumjoong-ssi.”

“I love my brother-in-law but I’m a little sick of living like him and having to revert my clients to another specialist.”

Cheol just nodded, he didn’t really know what Bumjoong was talking about, but assumed he was just trying to make small talk.

“Do you have any idea how to make a good stage outfit?” It was random, sure, but Cheol had no idea what he was doing at Himgjoong’s work, and Cheol hated doing nothing and being useless.

“Honestly I think Hongjoong has a photo book somewhere. I don’t know where it is but everything in this house is organized so it shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

“Ok, thank you.” Cheol picked a bit at the breakfast Bumjoong had prepared. He was sure he had gained some weight over the swap. He wasn’t used to eating large meals. He wasn’t evacuated by any means and he really only did exercise with his arms, carrying boxes for the ramen restaurant, so he wasn’t the most in shape. There was definitely a bit of a more defined “dad bod” now though.

Cheol turned his sight to the living room where San and Yeosang were watching dance YouTube videos and trying to recreate them.

It was a pleasant sight which made Cheol smile.

“Do your kids dance?”

Cheol was startled at Bumjoong’s question but regained composure and answered. “Well they don’t really have any training but Soonyoung he - oh god he just turned sixteen - he’s in a dance club at school, he’s really good.”

“Is Soonyoung your only son or-“

“I have twelve sons.”

“Jeez. I mean - I don’t mean that in a bad way, that’s just - wow.”

“I get that a lot.” Cheol tried to laugh it off. Every day he seemed to meet people that were so shocked and rightfully so, but Cheol was just annoyed at it.

He was never known for being the most patient and this show had taken everything out of him.

He tried to remind himself of the paycheck, but was it worth it?

He had missed Jun and Soonyoung’s birthdays.

He was sure he had missed other memories his kid’s had made too.

How terrible of a father was he?

“My bet is that the design book would be in the bookshelf in the living room.”

Bumjoong was talking.

“Seonghwa likes to display stuff there, so that’s the only place that makes sense.”

“Ah - ok, thank you Bumjoong-ssi.”

Cheol quietly walked over to the bookshelf so he wouldn’t disturb Yeosang and San.

He carefully examined the bookshelf, there were a couple of awards on the shelf’s and Seonghwa’s book proudly displayed. There were also a few small succulents which Cheol realized were actually Lego sets, it made the entire design almost seem a bit childish yet still elegant, it somehow fit Seonghwa very well.

Cheol eventually found a glossy white book. He opened it up to find about a hundred different photos of outfits that Hongjoong had clearly designed.

Cheol walked over to the kitchen to grab the water bottle Bumjoong had filled up for him. “Did you find it?”

“Yes, thank you. Bye.” Cheol probably should have stayed longer and made friendly conversation but his people meter was already on empty and he was about to interact with designers for ten plus hours and designers were completely crazy.

They were actually certifiably insane.

Once Cheol got to work he opened the book and began looking through it searching for a design that fit the prompt, “Retro Glam”

What did they even mean?

When Cheol thought retro he thought of his parents childhood but somehow retro had become the 90s minus the obnoxious bangs and poofy hair.

Cheol had only been working on an outfit for five minutes when the supervisor told him it was too outdated… even though the prompt was literally retro.

Cheol checked what other people were doing, it was mainly baggy ripped jeans, weird fur hats and plaid. Why was there so much plaid?

Cheol eventually forgot about any ideas he had and started copying the other designers only to be told his outfit was too basic.

“I’m not a designer.”

“I know that, there’s still deadlines.”

“I understand that but your instructions are so vague and-“

“The other guy never complained, he just figured it out.”

“I’m not trying to complain, I want to do it right though, and I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Just start over, you have to think of something.”

Cheol just sighed, there was no hope. The other designers were no help because they all talked about just ‘do what felt right’ or ‘the inspiration will just come to you.’

The inspiration did not come and anything that felt right was wrong.

“Seungcheol-ssi, the deadline is in a few hours.” Cheol looked up from his desk to the youngest fashion intern, Pak Sook-Joo or something.

“I know, I know. I don’t - I don’t have a plan, everything I’ve tried everything and nothing has been approved.”

Sook-Joo sighed and ran her hands through her jet blue hair. A lot of designers had interesting hair colors. Cheol just felt bad for their scalps.

“Wait- is that what I think it is?”

“Is what-“

Sook-Joo grabbed the binder off the desk and held it up in triumph. “Is this Hongjoong-ssi’s binder?”

“Yes-“

“We’ve been saved! Bless the heavens!” She squealed in delight and began looking through the pages.

“Should you really be looking through that? I mean-“

“Ahh - this is Hwasa’s MAMA look! I didn’t know he was behind it!” She was practically jumping up and down, no one in the studio even looked on as if this was abnormal.

“Sook-Joo,-“

“Yes.”

“I don’t think it’s best to just copy Hongjoong’s ideas. After all, I literally tried that and the supervisor didn’t approve it.”

Sook-Joo set the binder down and took a deep breath. She crossed her arms, her long painted nails spilled over. They were fashionable but Cheol thought they’d be awfully inconvenient, but whatever worked for fashion was best in this industry no matter how practical or impractical… What if that was the answer?

“They’re dancing right?”

“What do you mean of course they’re dancing.”

“Look at the outfits right now.” Cheol vaguely gestured to the three dress figures that already had approved outfits. “They are tight fitting and bright, but what if we went baggy and loose and big hair and all the good things about the 90s which are now somehow retro.”

Sook-Joo thought just for a moment before reaching for Cheol and began laughing and jumping up and down giddily. “Are you sure you aren’t a designer? It’s so simple yet existential.”

She squeezed again and walked off with her hands raised, “I’ve got it! I’ve got it! Ahhh!”

Cheol just stared as Sook-Joo skipped away and began picking new items for the six stage outfits.

Cheol just sat back down and closed Hongjoong’s binder. He didn’t really do anything yet Sook-Joo was practically dancing while remaking the outfits. Cheol just spun around in his chair, there was nothing else he could do except go smooch off the work cafeteria, which he gladly did for about an hour until Sook-Joo came and got him to check the outfits.

“I’m not Hongjoong, why are you having me approve the outfits?”

“Well - no offense, but I was born in 02, I never experienced the 90s but since you're on the show that means you have kids which means you're at least a decade older than, so you actually lived through the 90s.”

She was calling him old. Cheol had always thought of himself as looking young for his age, plus having kids at such a young age had changed his perception of parents. He didn’t assume parents were older than him just because they had kids.

Cheol laughed it off though, there was no point in doing anything else. He was only going to be here for a few more days until the rule change when he would inevitably be stuck at the house for the last week before finally being allowed to go back home and see his boys.

Did they miss him?

They must.

“Seungcheol-ssi?”

“Oh - right.” Cheol looked over the outfits, they looked fine to him. The shoes looked a bit awkward but Cheol had no intention of switching them out so he simply answered with an affirmative, “It looks great.”

“Really, that’s good. I need to make a good impression during this internship so that they’ll eventually offer me a real job.” She laughed off the clear desire and desperation in her voice. As much as Cheol knew it wasn’t smart to get involved in other people’s business he couldn’t help it sometimes.

“How long have you been an intern?” He asked against his better judgment.

“Oh - well I was an unpaid intern for a year, but now I get paid minimum wage so that’s something, and that’s been going on for about a year, but I have college debt and I hate making my girlfriend pay for everything, but there’s really no other shot. All my money goes to my loan and then to the apartment.”

That was really too much information.

Back in Cheol’s time as an intern he was told not to reveal anything about himself because it could help others get ahead by knowing how desperate and easy to blackmail you are. Sook-Joo seemed a bit naive to this, but also seemed to have a legitimate dream.

“Well, you should be up for a promotion soon, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know, they recently hired a few employees from another fashion company when they could have just promoted existing employees and hired more interns.”

Cheol was trying to be careful, after all he had worked in upper management and knew the hiring process was a delicate matter, but he had also worked as a low-skilled, minimum wage employee. He understood both sides.

“Well, I think you should maybe wait it out one more year, and if they don’t promote you then look elsewhere, that way you can say you have at least two to three years of experience. That looks better on a resume.”

Sook-Joo sighed and shook her head a little, “That’s exactly what my Appa said. I’m just a bit scared to wait - what if an opportunity comes and I miss it?”

“How do you know you won’t be granted an opportunity here? I don’t really know much about fashion or fashion companies, but this seems to be a relatively renowned company, so some opportunities are bound to come up.”

“Yes, but those opportunities are given to the more experienced, how am I supposed to get experience if I’m never chosen?”

She was clearly emotional about this and rightfully so, she reminded Cheol of Jin-ae who he’d helped get a well deserving promotion, but this situation was different. Cheol knew Jin-ae, he knew at the time she was struggling in a new marriage and her firstborn maybe had been having medical problems, she needed the promotion to take care of her family and she had been working for the company for almost four years. Cheol didn’t know Sook-Joo and was often told he was a pessimist because he hardly assumed the best in people.

Maybe she did deserve the promotion, maybe she didn’t, but that wasn’t Cheol’s decision, nor was it even Hongjoong’s decision. Hongjoong was a senior designer, he had no control over hiring though.

Despite all of this, Cheol still had to say something, he still had to give comfort because that’s what the young adult was expecting.

“Well, just remember, the senior designers were once all in your shoes.” Cheol looked down to see Sook-Joo’s bright pink sparkly platform high tops, “Well maybe not in your shoes, but you get the point. Every one of them had to wait for an opportunity or they went out and found one for themselves. Don’t ask me how you find an opportunity in fashion, but frankly as long you are observant and confident you should find an opportunity.”

Sook-Joo thought for several moments about the information, “I think I will wait, Thank you Seungcheol-ssi.”

She skipped off somewhere else.

Honestly Cheol didn’t know if he had given the bes advice. He didn’t know why ever single week seemed to bring with it a new person that needed his help. Cheol had never thought he was the nicest person or even that emotionally intelligent, yet people seemed to like talking to him.

Maybe it gave them comfort.

Still Cheol had always been uncomfortable giving out advice.

He wasn’t really a good person, or a good parent, so why should people listen to him?

 

<>

 

Yeosang woke up to the smell of cooking. Uncle had made breakfast just like he had for the past several days.

It wasn’t the same.

It wouldn’t be the same until Eomma and Appa got back and even then would it ever get back to normal?

Yeosang normally thought of himself as a pretty patient person but the past month had passed by slower than the time it took Mingi to get up in the morning. Yeosang knew he shouldn’t complain, after all this was an opportunity they’d never have again. That didn’t make the waiting any easier though.

Yeosang pretended to be happy and awake for San who was excitedly watching ballet videos on the tv and doing his best to recreate them. Yeosang didn’t really get it. He much preferred more aggressive and powerful forms of dance, plus balancing on your toes was really hard and hurt a lot.

Yeosang just spun around with San though. San was having the time of his life, Yeosang was just existing.

Eomma-Chan had been better than Mr. Choi, in Yeosang’s opinion. He looked less scary and seemed more scared than in control.

Mr. Choi actually tried to follow rules and looked at them as if he was sad.

Maybe Mr. Choi was missing his kids like Yeosang was missing his parents.

Maybe Yeosang preferred Eomma-Chan because Wooyoung had coined a fun nickname, and he had bought them ice cream a handful of times and Mr. Choi seemed reluctant to spend any money.

Yeosang knew Uncle Bumjoong was doing his best to fill the gap, but he wasn’t the same. Yeosang loved his uncle but sometimes he seemed to be more like a therapist than an uncle. He was soft spoken with them, even though that’s not who he was. He seemed to think everyone was struggling which was most likely the case, but he didn’t need to make it obvious.

Wouldn’t it be best to just ignore it?

It would go away then… right?

The day was just another day. Nothing special happened. Although the playdate with Yeonjun last week had been fun it was overshadowed by whatever went on between Yeonjun’s eomma and Mr. Choi. Yeosang wanted to know, but knew it was rude to ask.

He also knew that none of his brothers, except maybe Yunho, had noticed.

Eomma had said that sometimes, after a baby is just born the eomma gets sad. He didn’t explain why, just that it was normal in order to explain why he had been sad after Jongho was born.

Yeosang didn’t get it.

He wasn’t an eomma though, maybe only Eomma’s understood?

Yeosang didn’t really want to be an Eomma. He loved his brothers.. But why have your own? Babies were scary and cried a lot. They couldn’t take care of themselves and needed so much attention.

Yeosang knew he was young, his opinions could change, but perhaps they wouldn’t. Would Eomma and Appa accept him if he didn’t want to have kids and consequently give them grandkids? The boy knew deep down that his parents had said that they would always support them, so was there anything that could warrant them revoking their love and support?

Yeosang didn’t know, nor did he ever plan on figuring it out. He would simply just live his life and enjoy it as best he could.

 

<>

 

Cheol quietly shut the door, it was almost midnight. He placed his shoes in the cabinet and slipped on the slippers by the door.

Bumjoong had been startled awake on the couch.

“Oh - hi.”

“Hello, Bumjoong-ssi.”

“You can just call me Hyung, you aren’t too much younger than me.” The beta stood up and stretched.

“Ok, Bumjoong-hyung.”

“I’m getting too old to sleep on that couch.” He laughed at himself as he made his way to the door.

Cheol contemplated his next move for a moment. He had been thinking about the situation with Soobin, Cheol didn’t really think there was anything he could do, but something did have to be done.

“Hyung-“

“Yes, Seungcheol?”

Should Cheol do this? It was late, and it was possible Bumjoong didn’t know Soobin.

“Well - do you know Choi Soobin?” Bumjoong’s eyes widened and he walked to the kitchen counter to put his bag down, “I’m not sure if his name is still Choi, but he came over last week and I think he’s in an unsafe situation. But I don’t really know him. Seonghwa seems to be close with him though.”

Bumjoong sighed and rubbed his eyes, “Seonghwa has mentioned him to me multiple times. And I’ll tell you the same thing I told you.”

What was Bumjoong getting at?

“Soobin-ah has a hard time saying ‘no’ and he has a hard time asking for help, but he does need help. The problem is you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped when they’ve gotten themselves into a situation that you can’t get them out of.”

Had this been going on for a while? It must’ve if this was Bumjoong’s reaction.

“You said Choi might now longer be his family name, did Soonin-ah marry a foreigner or-“

“He was inducted into a pack.”

“Oh, I see.”

Most Koreans kept their last names when they got married, although it had been becoming more common for omegas to take the last name of their partners. However, for packs it was customary for all the family names to be changed to the pack alpha’s family name.

“I assume they aren’t treating him well.”

“They aren’t. His mating mark looked improperly healed and he bruises and bites everywhere. He said that his mates were not treating him right and that they had threatened to hurt his kids.”

“Kids? I thought he just had Yeonjun.”

“He has a newborn as well - well he’s a few months old but he thinks he’s pregnant again.”

Bumjoong sucked in a breath.

“Are they the only kids in the pack?”

“Yes.”

Bumjoong looked down, “I have some contacts, I could call some people but if Soobin isn’t willing to testify then it’s going to be hard for anything to happen. Pack rules are still very traditional in Korea.”

“But those kids. They’re going to hurt the kids. Who knows what they’ll do to them. Soobin is in no shape to protect them. They might already be hurting them. Yeonjun seemed awfully concerned for his mother, he knows something is wrong and if he realizes that then that means he’s seen something, and if the pack is brazen enough to hurt their mate in front of his kids then I think they are bold enough to hurt the kids without Soobin’s knowledge and blackmail the kids into not saying anything.”

Bumjoong didn’t say anything for a while, he just stared at Cheol with his dark eyes. It was an almost critical assertive gaze that made the alpha mildly uncomfortable.

“You can yell at me if I’m wrong but - are you speaking from experience?”

How could such a few words hurt so much?

Cheol didn’t want to answer, he didn’t want another person to know just how shitty his parenting used to be. He didn’t want to have to tell Bumjoong that he was probably more present in the lives of his nephews than Cheol had been in the lives of his sons.

Yet, yelling at him didn’t seem to be right. If Cheol would never see Bumjoong again then maybe the alpha would consider that option, but the beta would be present for several more days. It would be best for there not to be any awkwardness around them.

“Yes, I am. My ex abused my kids without me knowing, and told them if they told me that I would be angry with them.” Was that simple explanation really the best way to explain over a decade of abuse?

“I’m sorry for what happened to you. Your interest in the Soobin situation makes more sense now. I can assure you that I will do everything in my power to help, but it’s not much.”

“I know it’s not much but - it took so long for my kids to move on, they still struggle and I still have guilt. I know so much of what they went through was my fault for being absent, but - I used to be a social worker, I saw the type of evil Soobin-ah has to deal with everyday, I know I did all I could, but there were so many awful situations that ended worse then they started. It’s such a hopeless situation. We were in a hopeless situation and I think we got out of it. Is it wrong to feel guilty that we are ok though?”

Bumjoong tapped his fingers on the counter. The sound rippled through the sparkling clean house sending a shiver down Cheol’s spine.

“It’s not wrong to feel guilty about past actions, but if you don’t learn to let go of the guilt then it will eventually eat you up from the inside out. Guilt is like mold, once it’s there it spreads and makes the situation worse. Of course it can’t be gotten rid of but it takes work.”

Cheol laughed bitterly at the analogy, “You speak as if you know what you’re talking about. You don’t happen to be a therapist, do you?” Cheol was joking but when Bumjoong hesitantly nodded Cheol felt almost uneasy.

Of course Bumjoong was a therapist.

It made too much sense now.

The uncomfortable staring that sometimes felt like an evaluation, the fact that Bumjoong seemed to know everything about his brother and brother-in-law, the way he dealt with the kids in a calm manner yet they still respected him, and the spring of knowledge that spilled from his lips when he was discussing certain matters.

Why hadn’t Cheol asked sooner?

Would it have made it easier or harder to talk to him?

“I’m sorry, I should have told you.”

“No, I should have asked. It was rude of me not to and-“

“Seungcheol, I never asked what you did for a living, so why would you have asked what I did.”

Cheol didn’t respond, he felt like a scolded child.

Bumjoong sighed, “I’m sorry, I should have just been more forthright, but what’s done is done so let’s just move on.”

“Ok.”

The silence hung uncomfortably for a few seconds until Bumjoong broke it, “I really am sorry about what happened to you and your boys and before you say something about nothing happening to you the experience of finding all that out is traumatizing enough, and I’m sure the trial was bad as well. I will talk to Seonghwa about the Soobin situation.”

Bumjoong paused to check the clock, “I don’t mean to sound like a parent but it’s late, we should both go to bed.”

“You’re right.” It was late. Somehow even though Cheol had had much harder days these days seemed to drag on for much longer than when he was actually working longer hours.

Maybe he was getting older or maybe he just kissed the chaos of his own home, but whatever the reason he couldn’t wait to see his boys again.

“Good night Seungcheol-ah.”

“Good night Bumjoong-hyung. Thank you for everything you said, and I -uh - I hope you get back to your apartment safely.”

“You’re welcome.”

Bumjoong left.

Cheol just stood in the break of the kitchen and living room. He should sleep, it was late, but he couldn’t bring himself to move.

Was this depression?

Was missing his boys really a good enough reason to lose any desire to do anything?

Could he just force himself to be ok?

Soonyoung had once told him of a little trick he and his brothers had created to make the suffering ‘bearable.’

One brother would say to another “Just be ok” it sounded so dumb and didn’t actually work but they made it into a game.

Pretend your ok and you don’t lose

There was never a winner of the game and it was purely a fake facade.

They swore it worked though.

“Just be ok Seungcheol.” Cheol tried to tell himself but his voice seemed too loud in the quiet house. What if one of the Kim’s heard him?

What could he tell them he was doing?

Cheol wasn’t broken.

He was fine.

His boys were the ones that had been hurt.

She had never laid a hand to hurt Cheol, but she had torn apart her sons.

Cheol had to be fine.

“Just be ok dammit!”

Cheol startled himself, he checked the stairs, no one was coming down. He heard no shuffling from upstairs.

No one had heard him.

He still wasn’t fine.

Was he really weaker than his sons?

Cheol had always wished that he could have been the one in their place, yet here he was, a grown man barely being able to live without the presence of his sons.

How had he lived eleven years without constantly worrying about them to the point where he could barely move around?

There was a quiet noise that seemed to come from the floor, Cheol looked down.

Was he crying?

Cheol didn’t cry.

He hadn’t cried since after the trial when his ex’a sentence had been read.

That was five years ago.

Surely someone would notice tomorrow that he had been crying, but why couldn’t he stop?

Why couldn’t he just be ok?

Why couldn’t he be as strong as his kids?

Why couldn’t he be home?

He just wanted his boys.

He wasn’t to hear Jeonghan’s deeper than expected laugh, Jisoo’s surprisingly funny jokes, Jun’s unexpected comments, Soonyoung’s passion for dancing, Wonwoo’s random facts he read about, Jihoon’s aggressive nature to anything and everything, Seokmin’s precious smile that forced you to smile, Mingyu’s long suffering in taking all of his beothers’s teasing, Minghao’s glares at everyone he deemed ‘weird,’ Seungkwan’s little songs he made up and sang, Hansol’s blank stare that could tell you so much if you just paid close attention, and Chan his baby, Cheol just wanted to pick him up and never let go. He would soon be too big to be carried and Cheol would miss it so much.

Cheol missed them all.

Had they grown while he was gone?

Two of them had had birthdays.

Had any of them lost any teeth?

Had they come up with new games?

Cheol was sobbing by now.

He escaped to the main floor bathroom and crumbled to the floor, he didn’t bother to turn the light on.

He should be stronger than this.

He needed to be stronger for his boys.

But he couldn’t just be ok. He was far from it.

He couldn’t be as strong as his boys.

Chapter Text

It was a stalemate.

Both Hongjoong and Seonghwa had differing opinions about what the rule swap should be.

Seonghwa firmly believed he was in the right.

Hongjoong wanted to do the same thing they did last time, split the roles up how they did at home and take each kid out individually.

“It worked last time, they seemed to really enjoy it.”

“These boys aren’t like the Chois.” Seonghwa didn’t often argue back but this was something he felt strongly about.

“I don’t think these kids trust us as much as the Chois. They particularly don’t seem to trust you. Now it has gotten better and none of them are confrontational but I don’t think going out with them is the best idea. Plus they aren’t hurting for cash or clothing so it doesn’t even make sense to do that.”

“Well what do you think we should do?”

“I - I - I don’t know. I feel like we don’t know them. So I don’t know what we should do except -“

“Except what-“

“That stupid curtain, I’m fixing it.”

Hongjoong laughed at his mate’s plight. Of course out of all the things going on in the apartment he would think of the curtain which wasn’t hung properly.

“Don’t laugh at me. This is serious.”

Hongjoong held up his hands in surrender, “Ok ok, I won’t laugh, but we do need to think of something to do with the swap. I think Minho should be banned from doing chores.”

Seonghwa thought about that for a moment, “Was he the one that made food for us during my heat?”

“Yes, and he also thought that he was supposed to- nevermind, that’s not important right now.”

Silence hung uncomfortably, neither knew what to say.

“What if they each chose an activity for everyone to do. That way they stay together.”

Hongjoong thought about his mate’s plan, “That seems like a pretty good idea, plus there’s only seven of them so they each get their own day. And then we ban Minho from doing the cooking and cleaning by himself.”

“Well - I think he might think of that as us taking away his freedom, so maybe if he wants to help he can.”

“I can live with that, as long as the kids get some time to still be a kid.”

“Well then we are both in agreement and I’m tired.” Seonghwa walked over to where Hongjoong was seated on the bed and placed his hands on his shoulders.

“What are you thinking about right now?” Seonghwa ran his fingers through his mate’s hair.

“I’m thinking about how lucky I am that I have you.”

Seonghwa laughed softly, “You’re such a sap.”

Hongjoong chuckled, “So what if I am?”

“Then you’re my sap.”

“Are you sure you aren’t the sap?”

“Can we stop talking about sap?”

“You’re the one that brought it up.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

Seonghwa sighed, “You’re such a child.”

“Well you are old but you aren’t that old.”

“Are you really calling me old?”

“Older than me.”

Seonghwa sighed and walked away, Hongjoong rolled back on the bed.

“Come on Hwa, it’s late.” Seonghwa looked at his husband, “You know personally I think you look older than me.”

“I’m not a skincare model.”

“I’m not a skincare model anymore.”

“You still have the discounts for Olive Young.”

Seonghwa laughed again, “What are we doing right now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are we arguing or-“

“We aren’t arguing. We’re just tired, we want to be home, see the kids.”

Seonghwa slowly got into the bed, “Do you think they miss us?”

“Of course they do.”

“You don’t think we’ll come back and they’ll be sad because it’s not Seungcheol or Chan?”

“Dear, Treasure, think about those words for a second, think about what we’ve witnessed, sure none of us are perfect parents but Seungcheol and Chan are dealing with their own problems.”

“And we aren’t?”

Hongjoong hugged Seonghwa from behind, “Seonghwa you know the kids love you - they’re young, sure but I’m sure they want their eomma back. I know there’s problems we have to deal with. Everyone has problems and trials they have to face.” Hongjoong said all of this in one breath yet it didn’t seem rushed.

“Ok, Joong.”

 

 

The camera crew seemed to have improved in common decency from last time as they simply handed the couple their mics instead of insisting the crew put them on.

The kids gathered closely together on the couch, Jeongin and Seungmin sitting on laps and Changbin sitting on the ground. The camera crew set up quickly with minimal yelling, the producer seemed more amiable for whatever reason.

“Action!”

Hongjoong grabbed Seonghwa’s hand and started, “I just wanted to say that we have enjoyed our time together, but due to some circumstances we haven’t really gotten to know any of you all that well so we’d like each of you to choose an activity that we will all do together in our remaining week.”

The kids glanced around, this must not have been what they were expecting, but none of them seemed hostile to the idea.

The producer however was rubbing his eyes and shaking his head as if he wanted something more drastic.

“I will be taking over most if not all the housework for the remaining time here.” Minho seemed to become defensive with his posture the moment Seonghwa said those words, the producer almost smiled as the cameraman zoomed in on Minho’s reaction.

“Minho, I think you do an amazing job, but I’d like to give you a break for the rest of our time here. If you still wish to help I won’t stop you although I will not tolerate you doing everything by yourself. You are still a child and you need to enjoy your childhood. I will also be giving this apartment a deep clean and would like to teach all of you some tricks in keeping the apartment organized and free of clutter.”

 

“Do you think the apartment is dirty?” Jisung challenged, If Seonghwa was honest he did, but he found most things including his own house dirty even if they were subjugated to frequent deep cleans.

The Bang apartment much like the Choi apartment was relatively well kept, but it was a bit disorganized and hadn’t probably been deep cleaned in at least a decade.

“No, I don’t think the apartment is dirty, but I do think there are some things that could be done to make it more organized so things run smoothly.”

Jisung looked like he was about to say something when Minho grabbed his hand in an attempt to silence his mouth from running whatever he was thinking.

“We really hope that we can all enjoy this final week together.” Hongjoong closed off the rule swap content with a smile indicating that he and Seonghwa were done.

“Cut!”

The apartment was a flurry of activity for several minutes as the cameraman, producer, soundmen, and other workers gathered their supplies and left eager to move on to the next site.

Hongjoong overheard several of the producer's comments.

“There’s barely enough for a show.”

“We are so screwed, the first episode premieres next week and the trailer sucks.”

 

Was the first episode really already done with production and soon to be aired?

Every week Hongjoong had sent in the camera footage like he had been shown to do before the show started, but he still couldn’t believe millions of people would be able to watch the show.

Parent Swap was a popular Netflix show and had translated subtitles for ten other languages. The show had gained a massive following. Hongjoong couldn’t believe that so many people would soon be able to see this almost cruel show.

Hongjoong was nervous how they would edit the clips, but he had been careful for nothing defaming or harmful to be filmed, particularly during Seonghwa’s heat and the entire stay with the Chois, still editors could make some very normal things seem horrendous sometimes and Hongjoong prayed that the show wouldn’t hurt the families more than they had all already been hurt.

Seonghwa grabbed Hongjoong’s hand to pull him out of his well of thoughts.

“Are you ok?”

“Never been better.”

Seonghwa gave him a look, he knew his mate was not ok, but they had to press on, besides, Seongwha had far more important matters to attend to.

He was finally going to fix that accursed curtain.

 

<>

 

Jisung didn’t get it.

Sure some of the activities had been fine.

Yongbok had wanted to play Uno - he desperately lost twelve times.

Seungmin had wanted to take a trip to the library - he was a complete nerd, and Jisung didn’t mean that as a compliment to how smart his brother was because he definitely didn’t help him with homework.

Hyunjin-hyung had wanted everything to paint pictures together. Jeongin had almost eaten the paint, Jisungs tree painting turned into a green glob monster, and Hyunjin had gushed over Mr. Hongjoong’s drawing like a love sick rom com character.

Jisung had decided to watch the ‘Conjuring’ but the Kims didn’t think it was appropriate for Jeongin or Seungmin or Yongbok or even Jisung or Hyunjin.

Jisung had lashed out, Eomma had watched the ‘Conjuring’ multiple times with him even though he hated horror movies.

The abuser had only allowed horror movies in the house in an attempt to have the kids too scared to watch tv. That only worked until you became completely immune to gore and violence as a child.

Minho eventually intervened and explained the situation, Jeongin conveniently fell asleep during the argument and Seungmin, Yongbok, Hyunjin, and Changbin all volunteered to willingly go to sleep early because they didn’t want to watch the movie.

This had been an incredibly awkward movie night with Mr. Seonghwa being a complete chicken and covering his eyes most of the time, and Mr. Hongjoong helped cover up his mate’s fears by making random comments about the costuming.

Jisung had hated every second of a movie he normally loved.

Minho-hyung had wanted to bake cookies with everyone only to kick everyone, except Mr. Seonghwa.

Something was going on between the two of them.

Jisung didn’t understand how the two seemed to get along so nicely when Minho-hyung had burst into Jisung’s room late at night to talk to Changbin-hyung about Mr. Seongwha being some kind of model only for Minho-hyung to do a complete 180 and suddenly do his best to offer good food and materials while the omega was in heat.

Maybe Minho-hyung saw Eomma in Mr. Seonghwa but that didn’t make sense because the two were complete opposites.

Eomma worked hard to provide for the family, Mr. Seonghwa stayed home and cleaned because he thought that was more fulfilling or something (In Jisung’s opinion it was just lazy).

Eomma had seven kids Mr. Seonghwa had six kids.

Eomma had been through some crazy shit, Mr. Seonghwa seemed to have lived a pretty cushioned life.

Eomma just lived with things and worked hard. Mr. Seonghwa seemed to search for every imperfection and attempt to fix it. He had even changed the way the curtain in the living was hung, Jisung had tried to object thinking that Minho-hyung would be on his side, but his favorite Hyung sided with Mr. Seonghwa.

It was sickening.

Jisung had thought that even if Minho-hyung had somehow betrayed them that Changbin-hyung wouldn’t be so easily swayed, but for his activity he wanted to teach everyone how to do a cartwheel at the park.

Jisung hated outings.

Changbin looked so happy though. Why was his Hyung happy?

Changbin had always seen through the trauma, he had always known it wasn’t normal and didn’t lie to his younger siblings. So how was he joking around with the parents as they also attempted to do the cartwheel?

“Jisung, you need to try now.”

Jisung just looked at his twin. The more frequent sun exposure had brought out more of his freckles, they reminded Jisung of the night sky out in the middle of nowhere when you could just see stars for miles and miles.

Truth be told, Jisung had no desire to learn how to do a cartwheel, but no one would deny Yongbok.

“Ok.”

“You weren’t even trying.” Changbin-hyung playfully laughed at him because it was true, Jisung wasn’t trying at all.

Maybe if he looked like he tried harder he’d end up falling on his head and blacking out.That would make things stop for a while.

“Here let me help you.” Minho-hyung walked over to him, “Binnie says I do it the best.”

“You do it the best after me, although Mr. Seonghwa did it pretty good too.”

“Oh, Changbin-ah you don’t have to lie to me.”

Jisung just glared, no one seemed to notice.

Minho-hyung helped him position his hands, Jisung realized that his plan to fall on his head wasn’t going to work now.

Jisung attempted the cartwheel again, he couldn’t see himself do it, but according to Changbin-hyung it looked much better. Everyone continued to joke around with each other as Changbin showed off.

He was immensely proud of himself and looked the happiest Jisung had seen him in a while, it almost made him angry.

Why were his brothers so happy?

Eomma wasn’t home. Random parents were ruining everything, messing up routines and pretending to be a mom and dad when Jisung never needed a mom and a dad, he just wanted his eomma and his brothers back to normal.

Sure there’d be less laughter, less smiles, but it would be comfortable again, it would be safe again, it would be normal. But was that selfish of him?

Were his brothers taking steps toward healing and Jisung was just lagging behind?

Was there really something inside him that was broken the moment he was born and wasn’t broken during years of abuse.

Perhaps Jisung couldn’t be better. He didn’t really want to be better, he wanted to hurt, he needed to hurt and be in pain, but that hurt his brothers and Eomma. Did Jisung want his family hurt?

“Jisung, we’re packing up.”

“Oh, ok.”

Yongbok grabbed his hand and began skipping off, following the rest of the group. He was smiling ear to ear, his black hair was slightly blowing in the wind, he was completely at ease, he was as he should be.

Jisung decided: he didn’t want his family to be hurt. But they had always told him that when Jisung was hurting it hurt them, they wanted to help him, they wanted to be better.

Jisung didn’t want to be better though - did he? He tried to skip along with Yongbok, he didn’t feel like skipping, but he noticed the visible change in his twin when he did. He was happier.

When Jisung appeared happy Yongbok was happier.

But Jisung wasn’t happy.

How could he ever be happy?

 

< a few hours later>

 

Jisung lay awake staring at the wood frame of the bunk bed, Yongbok was probably asleep, Hyunjin-hyung and Changbin-hyung clearly were.

Hyunjin tossed in his top bunk a few times, talking gibberish in his sleep. Suddenly, Jisung noticed shifting from the bunk above him, “Yongbok?”

“You’re still awake?”

“Yeah - of course I am.”

“Ok, can I come down to your bed?”

“Yeah.” Jisung waited a few minutes for his twin to climb down the ladder and crawl into his bed, “Hi.”

“Hi.”

Yongbok didn’t say anything for a while, he just snuggled close to Jisung, it almost reminded Jisung of how he had cuddled with Minho-hyung before he had betrayed him by befriending the enemy.

“Yongbok.”

“Hmm.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird that Minho-hyung likes the Kims so much?”

“Mhmm, no - not really. They are really nice. I think it’s really cool that Minho-hyung doesn't’ seem so tense or-”

 “Ughh, you too?”

“Uh - what do you mean?”

“You wouldn’t get it, you trust people too easily.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The Kims, Mr. Choi, you trust both of them don’t you?”

“Well - yes, but they’re both-”

“Both what? Nice?”

“Well yeah, but it’s more than that. Mr. Choi knew stuff you know. He was so good to talk to. The Kims they’re just - they’re like what you imagine an alpha and omega couple are like. Mr. Seonghwa makes pretty good food and did you see how much dust he found behind the washing machine?”

“Of course he found dust behind the washing machine. It’s not supposed to move. Who cleans behind the washing machine?”

“Jisung, you don’t have to like everyone that we like, but the Kims are actually nice. They haven’t done anything to hurt us, so you don’t have to be mean either.”

“I’m not being mean.” Jisung could tell his brother was a bit worked up about his behavior, but Jisung couldn’t do much about it. Jisung knew he was in the right and his brothers were just too blind to see it.

“I know you don’t think you’re being mean, Jisung, but you just ignore them and that’s not very nice.”

Yongbok joked by bringing the pitch and switching to english for the last phrase (it was an inside family joke).

“It’s only a few more days anyway, they are really just trying to be nice, sure they’re both different then Eomma but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Plus if Minho-hyung really likes them, then they can’t be that bad.”

Jisung thought about it. Yongbok did have a few good points, particularly the Minho-hyung one.

Minho-hyung didn’t trust or like people often or easily. Unless the Kims were master manipulators (which was one of Jisung’s theories) that the Kims had to be genuine people, it just seemed like it was impossible for them to be so.

“You could be right-”

“I know I-”

“-or wrong.” Yongbok just sighed.

“I’m tired, Jisung.” Yongbok whined, “The swap’s almost over ok, just keep thinking about that. Eomma is going to be home soon.”

“Not soon enough.”

“Ughh.” Yongbok threw his arms around Jisung, “Just go to bed, don’t think too much.”

Jisung tried to really think about his twin’s words. It was true, Eomma would be home soon, all would be normal again.

If Jisung could, he would start counting the hours, minutes and seconds. But that was a lot of work. It was late, and like Yongbok, Jisung was also tired.

Maybe it was time he finally tried to get some rest.

 

<>

 

Seungmin watched carefully as Mr. Seonghwa finished washing the dishes and then wiped down the counters.

The boy had been shocked at how clean the omega had made the apartment. Seungmin was even more shocked at how Mr. Seonghwa had turned it into a game with all of them.

He had not only gotten every nook and cranny cleaned but had also taken every single dish, pot, pan, and utensil out of the kitchen cabinet and organized them with Minho.

The two of them had found the strangest things in the cabinets, old family photos, expired canned goods, random papers, some crayons, an old lost wooden toy car and a wad of cash. “I’m pretty sure most of this stuff is Eomma’s.” Minho cautiously looked at some of the papers.

“These are citizenship papers.” Minho handed them to Mr. Seonghwa.

“Bang - how do you pronounce that?” Minho looked at what Mr. Seonghwa was pointing at. The older brother crinkled his eyebrows.

“I’m not sure - oi Seungmin-ah.” Seungmin stood straight up from the couch, was Minho angry that he had been staring at them?

“Yes?”

“Come here, I need you to read something.”

Seungmin walked over to the kitchen and looked at the paper he was handed. ‘Bang Christopher Chan’

“I don’t know Hyung. Sometimes that makes a ‘k’ sound and sometimes it makes a ‘ch’ sound.” He handed the paper back to Minho.

“It must be Eomma’s English name, that’s pretty cool. My English name is Sky. Eomma had all of us choose English names when we were younger.”

“That’s a very pretty name Seungmin-ah.” Mr. Seonghwa complimented him, and Seungmin smiled widely.

“I think I have the best English name, Minho-Hyung’s is-“

“That’s enough Minnie, how about you go back to whatever you were doing.”

Seungmin smirked at walked back to the couch, Minho-hyung was very embarrassed by his English name, but that’s just what happened when you chose names chose names at a young age.

“This is his old passport.”

“It’s an Australian passport, it’s all in English, we should probably collect all of these papers in a box and put it in his room. There might be a few private things in the pile.”

Seungmin could tell his brother was hesitant but agreed nonetheless and helped Mr. Seonghwa put all the papers in a box. Minho-hyung later put the box in Eomma’s room.

The rest of the days were filled with simple activities that still seemed to bring joy to the family.

Over the month the show had occurred Seungmin had enjoyed his time even if every moment hadn’t been fun.

Mr. Choi had opened up a whole new world by explaining his family situation and how his boys had gone through similar trauma.

It had been good to talk to Mr. Choi, Seungmin couldn’t help but wish that Mr. Choi was his Appa and not his real father.

Mr. Choi’s hugs were warm and solid, they reminded Seungmin of his Eomma. He didn’t cook complex foods like Minho-hyung but simple, few-ingredient recipes which tasted good.

The Kim’s were very different. Mr. Hongjoong had a small but well built kind of frame and had a cool tattoo on his arm.

Mr. Seonghwa was tall and pretty, with black hair long enough that he could pull it back in a tiny ponytail. He was kind and soft spoken, his mere presence was enough to calm the room.

Seungmin hadn’t had the chance to get to know the Kim’s as well as he had known Mr. Choi, but they didn’t feel like complete strangers to him. Jisung didn’t like them, but Jisung had barely gotten to the point of not being actively hostile to Mr. Choi when he left, so it wasn’t a shock that he was still standoffish.

The rest of Seungmin’s brothers liked the couple even if one of the weeks had been very hard.

Seungmin could tell Mr. Seonghwa had felt bad about having his heat, but that wasn’t something he could’ve controlled.

Overall though, Seungmin was glad he was able to have this experience. He was happy that there might be a future opportunity to meet boys like him, that might get it. He was grateful he had met such kind adults that listened and seemed to care about what he had to say.

But Seungmin was also eagerly awaiting the return of his Eomma. He had been gone for far too long, and although Seungmin had never been the most physically affectionate person, he couldn’t wait to give his Eomma the biggest, strongest hug he could manage.

 

<>

 

Hongjoong sighed as he zipped up the last bag. They hadn’t been allowed to bring much, but now that they had to pack it, the few items seemed even sparser.

Seonghwa was in the living room saying his goodbyes. Minho had almost seemed genuinely upset, Hongjoong was glad that whatever Minho’s problem with Seonghwa had been sorted out, even if it meant that the teen had formed an emotional attachment to him.

Hongjoong clutched a scrap piece of paper in his hand tightly.

While Seonghwa had stayed at the apartment Hongjoong had gone to Chan’s studio during most of the day.

Several packages with pictures and a wall shelf had been delivered along with a note from Seungcheol about the contents.

Hongjoong had put the shelf together and placed Chan’s numerous trophies on them, and then took the individual pictures of his sons and pinned them to the small empty board near Chan’s desk. That way he could see what all of this was for, and could see that he had accomplished something.

The photo of all of the boys he had given to Seonghwa who had decided that the boys should decide where the photo should go in the house.

They had chosen the empty spot above the kitchen table, where it now hung proudly waiting for Chan to get back. The idea had been brilliant on Seungcheol's part, Hongjoong would be sure to tell him that when they finally met in just a few short hours.

Hongjoong looked down at the scrap price of paper.

On it, scribbled in a hurried fashion lay the words to a poem he had felt inspired to write for Seonghwa.

His mate had done so much, not just in the past month but in the thirteen years the two of them had been together.

요즘 들어 가끔 난 그런 생각을

해 어쩌면 난 꽤나 잘 살았고 그

증거는 너인 듯해 막상 티격태격

서로를 향해 겨누지만 고마운 줄

모르고 배부른 거지 뭐 이런 말도

낯간지러워 구구절절해도 알잖아

내 진심은, 그래 할 말이 있어,

내가 하고 싶었던 그 말 매일

밤을 지새워 고민했어 널

생각하면, 미안한 게 많아 어렵던

그 말 이제 하고파,

고마워 Thank you for being on my side

너와 함께 걸어갈 수 있어서 Thank you for being on my side

힘든 세상 서로 기댈 수 있어서 태풍이 몰아쳐도, 비바람이 불어도 너와 나, 너와 나 언제나 우리일 테니

Yeah, 아무 말 하지 않아도 good day

일이 아닌 전부 여기 모였을 때,

정신없이 잠든 다음 너의 콧노래에 못 이겨서 모두 깼을 때, ayy 예전처럼 편히 놀진 못해

But 빈틈 사이로 마음을 꺼내 보니 뭐가 급해, eh?

Rise and shine, every day's a new day,

yeah 할 말이 있어, 내가 하고 싶었던 그 말 매일 밤을

지새워 고민했어 널 생각하면, 미안한 게 많아

어렵던 그 말 이제 하고파,

고마워 Thank you for being on my side

너와 함께 걸어갈 수 있어서 Thank you for being on my side

힘든 세상 서로 기댈 수 있어서 태풍이 몰아쳐도,

비바람이 불어도 너와 나, 너와 나 언제나

우리일 테니 파도가 그치고 해가

돋네 눈을 떠 내 주위를 바라보네 네가 있음을 느껴 난 go away 발을 맞춰 세상 속에 건배 거친 세상 그곳에 우리 서로 함께 걷는다면,

고마워 Thank you for being on my side

너와 함께 걸어갈 수 있어서 Thank you for being on my side

힘든 세상 서로 기댈 수 있어서 태풍이 몰아쳐도,

비바람이 불어도 너와 나, 너와 나 언제나 우리일 테니 thank you for being on my side

너와 나, 너와 나 thank you for being on my side

너와 나, 너와 나 태풍이 몰아쳐도 비바람이 불어도 너와 나, 너와 나 언제나 우리일 테

 

{These days I get such thoughts sometimes That maybe I've been doing pretty well, and the proof of that is you We've fought neck-and-neck and targeted each other But I've taken it for granted without saying thank you

It's embarrassing to say this, writing something so detailed But you know what I mean I have something to say

The words I wanted to say I've been thinking about it all night When I think of you

There’s a lot I’m sorry for I want to say those difficult words now

Thank you Thank you for being on my side Because I can walk with you

Thank you for being on my side We can lean on each other in this tough world

Even if there's a typhoon

Even if the rain is heavy and the wind rises

You and me, you and me It will always be us

Even if we don’t say a single word it’s a good day

When we’re all gathered together, not just one

When we're sleeping soundly but then everyone wakes up

Because we couldn't beat your humming, yeah We can’t play like we used to

But now that my heart's been pulled out of the crack. What’s the rush?

Rise and shine every day’s a new day, yeah

I have something to say

The words I wanted to say I've been thinking about it all night

When I think of you

There’s a lot I’m sorry for I want to say those difficult words now

Thank you. Thank you for being on my side

Because I can walk with you

Thank you for being on my side

We can lean on each other in this tough world

Even if there's a typhoon

Even if the rain is heavy and the wind rises

You and me, you and me

It will always be us

The waves stop and the sun rises I open my eyes and look around me I feel that you're there, go away

Matching our stride, make a toast to the world

That place in the rough world if we walk there with each other

Thank you. Thank you for being on my side

Because I can walk with you

Thank you for being on my side

We can lean on each other in this tough world

Even if there's a typhoon

Even if the rain is heavy and the wind rises

You and me, you and me it will always be us

Thank you for being on my side You and me, you and me

Thank you for being on my side You and me, you and me

You and me

Even if there's a typhoon

Even if the rain is heavy and the wind rises You and me, you and me

It will always be us}

Hongjoong had never thought of himself as a poet but he was pretty pleased with how it came out.

There never would be words strong enough to describe what Seonghwa was to Hongjoong, but the alpha hoped the poem could be the start of it.

Hongjoong left the bedroom for the last time after tucking the paper into his back pants pocket.

He saw the sad sight in the living room. Seonghwa was giving each of the boys a hug, even Jisung reluctantly hugged him.

“It’s been great getting to know each of you.”

Hongjoong smiled at the boys. He noticed Minho looked visibly upset, but was doing his best to keep everything in and stay strong for his brothers.

“Are you ready to go, Babe?” Hongjoong rested his hand on Seonghwa’s back.

“Yes.” Seonghwa stood up and gave one last look at each of the kids.

“Bye.” The kids waved.

“Goodbye kids.”

The couple waved back, Hongjoong guided Seonghwa by the back out the door.

“Don’t cry Yongbok, Eomma will be home later today.”

“It’s still sad.”

Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong, every instinct was telling him to stay with the children and comfort them. But they couldn’t do that.

They needed to get to the assigned hotel and meet up with the other parents to watch the recorded daily logs together unrecorded, and then a short recording session of a discussion amongst the four of them.

It was often a time of disagreements and tears.

The couple hoped to avoid the disagreement part, but knew that tears were likely inevitable.

As the door shut behind them Seonghwa kept the tears in, Hongjoong knew his mate felt bad. He probably felt like they hadn’t accomplished anything during their time here. But were they supposed to accomplish anything?

The show was nearly finished, very late tonight they would be back home with their kids.

Hongjoong couldn’t wait to give each of his sons a hug and then tuck them in way past their bedtime, he was sure that not even Mingi would be upset by the change in schedule.

“It’s going to be ok Hwa, just a few more hours.”