Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Money never came easy. It never does, usually. Or so Kai's parents had grown to realize throughout his early life. He always knew they never had much, he had eyes, and he sensed things. Even without being told, he could tell by how his toys were slightly run down, broken, and taped back together, then repeatedly until they could no longer be taped together.

Toys were one thing, maybe his parents knew that one day he'd grow tired of his figurines and rattles—no need to spend much on fleeting things. So, he thought it was fine, he did not know any better then.

As the years went by, the toys became his uniform, wrinkly the more he wore it, losing stitches on the hem of the sleeves and the neckline. The more he played in the playground the dirtier they got, and they never turned white after a pass in their rattling washing machine. His workbooks were bought used, he knew because he opened them in class and saw scribbling he did not scribble, and a name that wasn't his written on the first page. Belongs to Kang Taehyun.

Not anymore.

When he was eight years old, he received a cupcake for his birthday. Not a cake, a simple, dry cupcake, and a lighter to accompany it while his parents sang him happy birthday. He blew on the lighter and his mom had let go of the clicker. "Happy birthday." She gave him a kiss and his father tucked him into a mattress.

They never had much. But Kai reckoned things could always be worse. And funnily enough, he was right.

Turns out, he was not the only one who observed and noted the changes between him and the rest of the kids. Eventually, as they all got older and smarter, the kids who were once his friends, doing flips from the bars on the playground and playing catch.

They saw it too. And kids, they can be cruel, they don't know any better too. When they see someone who is different, like in a Superman kind of way, Kai never had superpowers he could flaunt to hide what he did not have, clean clothes and a nice house. He was different in a way that made the other kids think that if they spent too much time with him, they would catch "poorness." As they called it for the lack of a better word choice for eighth graders.

But Kai, busying himself with befriending the ladybugs and worms in the school's garden, hardly noticed that there was anything wrong with the way he was treated. Perhaps he did, and it hurt too much to admit.

"How was school?" a spoonful of stew finds its way into his paper plate. The lights above their heads, flickering again. His father mutters something about needing to fix it once again, even though he does so every week, and without fail, it keeps flickering.

Kai picks up his spoon, awkward in the way it is too big for his hand. He doesn't remember what he answered, but his mother nods with a subtle smile and pats his head lovingly. She does not need to usher him to finish his food, unlike the other kids who are pestered to finish their vegetables. Kai eats everything off his plate and doesn't ask for more. Because he already knows there is just enough for the three of them.

There was always just enough. They were always just scraping the surface.

Chapter Text

"You are late." A pair of hard eyes look at him as he jogs over, buckling his protective helmet. The vest is messily hung over his frame; Kai tugs on it lightly and pulls it until it's right whilst apologizing profusely. "This is the fourth time this week, what's the matter with you? Is there something you are not telling me?"

Kai gulps. "No, Sir." He answers fast, too fast. he breathes hard, trying to get a hold of the pace at which his heart beats. The noise of metal clanking and yelling makes it hard for him to speak without having to raise his voice.

A car honks at him, and he moves aside and bites his lips. "There is a schedule we work with." His boss scolds angrily. Kai's heart beats even louder. "I can't have a 19-year-old kid decide when he wants to show up, do you want this job?"

"Yes," Kai's voice breaks. "I do!" he exclaims. "I do want this job, I promise, this is the last time." His hands shake in his pockets while trying to remain calm. He reads the room, or rather, the road.

No one of the workers, all older than him, bigger, and skillful; is paying attention to their conversation.

"You have some nerve answering me when you're here 30 minutes late. Do you take me for a joke?" the anger is apparent in his boss's voice, even if he's not yelling, even if he's not looking angry. Kai wished he would yell at him instead of looking so peaceful while scolding him.

He fears it most. "No, of course not." He would not utter a word about the new job he got halfway across the city. That would be a dumb move, he'll need to find another route, a faster one to get from there to here before tomorrow comes.

"Get to work, then."

Kai's eyes widen; he huffs in relief and nods, turning on his heels to attend to the pile of metal polls that need him to transfer them endless meters ahead. "And kai?"

His heart drops, but he does not turn back.

"Meet me in my office after you are done."

…………………………

"You need a new light, mom." He says, picking up a screw and with a handheld tool, he screws it into the door's hinges. Kai bends over, his knee planted on the gray tiles. He cleans the rust and dirt with a wet towel.

"Nonsense." He hears his mother's optimistic voice. "Your father will come home and fix it."  

Kai peeks from over the open door to look at his mother who is lying on the couch, covered in a pouchy blanket. He rolls his eyes. "Dad's been fixing that old thing for years." He counterparts and leans his palm on the door handle to check its sturdiness. He rattles it a few times before deeming it strong enough. "I'll be back next week with a new bulb." He closes the door, and it no longer squeaks.

"You're not buying us anything, young man." She insists.

Kai packs his father's work tools back into the black box. "Mom-"

"None of that." She waves her hands; already knowing her son well enough to predict his words. "Now, come here. There's potato soup on the stove, eat before you leave. These days, it's like we can never get hold of you."

He shakes his head but his stomach rumbles at the mention of food. he salivates and swallows, getting up to his two legs after being crouched down for too long. Pain engulfs his lower back and shoulders. He winces and groans silently, his hand coming up and behind his back to soothe the bruises.

When he opens his eyes, he sees his mom looking at him with worry and suspicion on her features. "What's wrong with your back?"  

"I…" he begins. "I slept with the fan on." He huffs a breathy, short laughter. "Must've stiffened my body." He lies through his teeth. "I should have known to turn it off, it's happening too often."

He walks to the kitchen, trying to appear fine. He opens the lid of the pot on the stove, seasoned water with a meek portion of potatoes swimming around the yellow liquid. He doesn't care that it doesn't look appetizing, he just wants to have something warm in his stomach. He cranks up the fire under the pot and brings the soup to a boil.

Kai washes the dirty bowl left in the sink, using water and a half-eaten bar of soap to clean it. The water trickles from the faucet, opaque and discolored. "Mom." He calls, she's already in the kitchen, holding a bunch of green onion stems in his hands and tearing them into pieces. "Why isn't Dad talking to the landlord? Look at the water-"

"Kai." She shushes him. "You're worrying too much. Sit down and eat." She shoves his shoulders down and he bites off a cry of pain and exhales slowly from his nose as he's sitting down. "You are stiff." She comments. Placing the steaming plate in front of him, she dumps the green onions onto the soup. "You should take your father's relief patches."

He picks up his spoon, eating hungrily. Only after he eats a quarter of the bowl, he shakes his head. "Save those for dad."

"Just take one, it won't make a difference."

"It's fine Mom." He argues with a mouthful. She tsks her tongue and pats her son's head. "Eat slower, you're going to choke… "

He nods and takes his time between spoonfuls She places a piece of bread next to his bowl and so Kai tears a piece and dips it into the soup. "How's the new place?"

"Good enough."

Aera sighs. "It's too far from here. I heard things about your neighborhood, sweetie. Leila says it's a thugs' place."

"Leila talks too much, she's bound to say all sorts of things." He points at his mom with the bread piece in his hand. "Not all are true. And you know Leila likes to be dramatic." He sweeps his mom's concern, however true it might be, under the rug. "I have to go." He tilts the bowl down and drinks whatever is left in it.

"So soon?" she asks, even though she knows he has to go, her son is busy these days. She's not sure with what but every week, he comes with an envelope filled with cash and eats his portion before leaving in a hurry.

Kai smiles apologetically and gives his mom a chaste kiss on the forehead. "Sorry," he straightens up. "Tell Dad that I miss him and call me if the door gets loose again. Someone could break in." he slings his bag over his shoulders, and they burn.

"And take what?"

An awkward beat of silence follows where he only looks at his mom before opening the door and crossing through it. "Sleep tight, mom." He locks the door from the outside and looks at his clock.

He jogs to the nearest bus station.

…………………….

Thank god for name tags, Is the second thing Kai thought of when clocking in at his new job. The first was I am so late.

It's only been a week since he started working at one of the many convenience stores surrounding his neighborhood. It's been only a week and he had already forgotten the name of the tall, older guy who was giving him the run down on the store. How to unpack inventory, how to approach and greet customers, and how to close the register at the end of his shift.

 Soobin. The name on the tag reads. "You are late." Kai gets a déjà vu sequence in his head from the day before. He bites his teeth. "Sorry." He's been saying that word way too often.

The taller just flashes him a kind smile and waves his hand as if to say it's fine. "Help me with those." He points with his chin at the boxes in front of the register. Kai nods obediently and tucks his hands under one of the boxes to lift it and carry it over to the storage room. "Careful!" he hears footsteps coming his way. "Those are heavy," Soobin warns. "We should carry them together." But Kai is already a step away from the storage room.

 He blinks with the hefty box hoisted in his arms. "I think it's fine?"

Soobin stares in awe as Kai places the boxes in the room, stacked in a pile, and goes to pick up not one, but two more and lifts them with ease. "Right… " he clears his throat. "So, you'll do that." He scratches his nape. "How old did you say you were?"

Kai wipes his forehead. "Nineteen." He answers, bending to carry the remaining boxes. His back screaming as he gets up slowly. He closes his eyes and breathes. "Are you a student?" Soobin hops on the stool behind the counter and leans his chin on his folded legs. His big, gray hoodie draped over his head.

Shaking his head, Kai approaches the counter and laughs. "No," he says as if the answer is obvious. "Do I look like a student?" he asks with amusement in his tone. Soobin shrugs. "You're the age for it."

"Are you?"

Soobin yawns and nods. "Yeah." He spins on the stool. "I work here because the nights are slow, and I can catch up on my assignments." He opens a package and fetches the price tag gun from the basket below the register. He tears out the plastic covering the newly brought drinks.

He presses the tagger and puts a price on each one of the cans while Kai opens the rest of the packages. "Are you not going to college?"

"I might, one day," Kai answers vaguely. He drags a knife across the tape securing the boxes. It's peaceful working with Soobin, he finds out. It's only been a week, but as Soobin said, the job is mostly slow because they do night shifts together and unless there's inventory to unpack, they mostly stand around doing nothing.

 Customers come and go but there are fewer of them the later it is. Mostly, Kai checks out beers and late-night snacks but never baskets of groceries. Only three or four items at a time.

Soobin is kind, the epitome of the guy next door, if you wish. His dimples smile is reassuring, and his soft-spoken tone is soothing to the ears, especially late at night and after Kai already worked the day through. It's like taking a short break, but it's paid. "Are you from here?" during their quiet shifts, Soobin usually takes two soft drink cans from the coolers and shares one with Kai, who savors the sweetness of the beverage, and attacks him with questions about his life.

Kai swipes his tongue over the drops on the can. "I just moved." He says, tightening his lips.

"Here?"

"Yes."

"Why would you move here willingly?"

Kai takes a seat on one of the steps of the open ladder. He simply shrugs. "It's not a place for a nineteen-year-old," Soobin adds. "So, it's a place for a 22-year-old then?" Kai challenges.

"Oh." Soobin shakes his head. "You think I live around here?"

"… Don't you?"

"Hell no," Soobin replies, fast. "I work here because it's my uncle's place, and he got sick recently. So, I suggested to help until he can take over again. Plus," he pauses and down the rest of his soda. "It's close to the train station." He then takes a look at Kai, and something in his eyes dims down.

Kai looks back with a certain innocence painted on his young face. Soobin sighed. "What's wrong, Hyung?" they are not close, but Soobin had told Kai the formality makes him feel old, so after some time working together, he told Kai to address him comfortably. "This may seem sudden, but-" he stands up and randomly enough, begins reshelving the ramen stacks. "If you need help, I'm a phone call away."

It is sudden, which is why Kai opens his mouth to ask Soobin for an explanation. But just as he is about to, a group of guys and girls, not too shy of his age come giggling in and swarming the place.

He bites off his question for later, but later never comes. "Excuse me." A gentle voice says. Kai turns around. "Do you work here- oh," he notices the vest. "You do." The guy answers his own question.

Kai raises his eyebrows and stares silently at the guy, tall, but shorter than Kai with black hair down to his nape and almond eyes that shine kindly. He smiles subtly, showing a line of perfect, whitened teeth. The lines around his mouth almost resemble whiskers, they disappear when his smile does. "Do you know where I can find Samanko Ice cream?" he asks with a bashful expression; a beautiful pink tint on his rosy cheeks.

He smells like beer and soju.

"It's in the coolers to your left. Right at the end of the store." Kai instructs in detail. "If it's not there, then we're out until tomorrow."

The guy, who looks like he had jumped from a manga book into the store nods politely, his hair bouncing on his head. He runs away while roaring. "Hyung!" a striking contrast to his soft appearance. "He said they were out." He informs his friend, of what it sounds like.

Kai blinks, he never said they were out of the ice cream. He said that if there wasn't any in the cooler, then they were out. Now, he does not care whether a random person gets the ice cream craving of his night or not, but he doesn't want the blame on him.

"Really?" he hears a dejected voice, and from behind the ramen shelf, a guy with sharp eyes and a pair of pouty lips appears. He holds a shin cup ramen package. "Damn it." He bunches his lips and his eyebrows arch inwards. He frowns. "Did you look, though?" he asks.

"He said they were out!"

"But did you look, Beomgyu?"

"Ugh, look yourself! Why do I have to-"

……………………..

Three Samanko ice creams, a bar in the shape of a fish with a crunchy outer layer find their way to his counter. Kai never had one of those, but he saw others enjoying it. It always looked good, and sweet. He beeps them with the scanner along with a few other snacks and drinks. "That's 12.90 total."   

The guy elbows the person who had talked to Kai before, Beomgyu, his name was. If Kai had eavesdropped correctly. "Beomgyu," I was right. "Do the honors."

Beomgyu rolls his pretty, almond-shaped eyes, so perfectly brownish. He takes a credit card out of his sweatpants' pocket. "Why do I have to pay, again?" he complains but presses his card to the reader.

"Because you don't want to be bullied by Taehyun and me." the guy beside him excuses. He takes the cup of ramen and holds it close to his chest in a manner that seems quite protective.  

"I get bullied regardless." Beomgyu adorably scrunches his nose, or so Kai sees it. He stuffs their items into a plastic bag and shoves it into his friend's hands. "I hate you."

"You don't mean that." They bicker to the door and only when his friend opens it does Beomgyu turn around hurriedly and bows his head. "Thank you, good night." He greets before his friend bails on him.

Kai clears his throat. "Come again." He says in return, and he feels his face getting hot. He can tell that Soobin is looking at him, with a funny expression on his face to make the ordeal more annoying.

"Damn," he pulls his nose and a devious smile stretches on his face, not even the deep, child-like dimples can soften his intentions. "Keep it in your pants."

"It's not like that."

"You were looking at him like it's the first time you've seen a human being, eyes nose, and everything." Soobin scoffs. "It was like that and more. Is that your type? A boyish charm,"

Kai sits on the stool. "Please stop." He drags himself closer to the counter.

"I mean, I get it-"

"Hyung."

"Your body is changing." Soobin snickers evilly "You have certain urges."

Kai drops his head to thump on the counter, wanting it to swallow him whole.

………………………

In his dingy apartment, Kai only takes what is a trickle of a shower, just enough to get the previous day off him. He closes the faucet and steps out; shivering into his living room… slash kitchen, slash bedroom.

He only gets dressed in his briefs before plopping down on his bumpy mattress and without taking as much as a full minute, he's already snoring the night away.

………………………

When he comes back to the store the very next day, he's surprised to see Soobin waiting for him. "I thought you don't do afternoons?" he asks, confused because Soobin did tell him on his very first shift that afternoons were when he had other places to attend. Kai finds out later that it is because he has college lectures to be at in the afternoons.

"My professor is down with a fever, so my day cleared empty." He answers without lifting his eyes from his study book. He hands Kai something, wordlessly.

Lowering his bag to the floor near the register, he eyes the triangle kimbap in Soobin's hands with a careful gaze. Soobin shakes his hand as if to rush Kai into taking it. He takes it with hesitance similar to a cat being given food by a stranger. "Thank you," he says eventually, unwrapping the kimbap gently, almost careful not to let it drop. "Is there no inventory today?" he asks, then takes a large bite consisting of sticky rice, crunchy seaweed, and flavorful salmon.

Soobin shakes his head and marks something in his book, dragging a neon marker along two lines of words. "We do need to clean the tables outside." He says, boringly so.

Standing up, Kai walks to the storage room to get the bucket of wet towels. He steps outside where to sun blazes and begins to wipe down the bits of leftover food and sticky drinks, abounded paper cups and soju bottles are thrown into the trash, and the tables are cleaned until they are shiny.

 He makes his way inside again. "Anything else?" he wonders. Soobin raises his head and looks at him. "Hmm." He hums affirmatively.

"What is it?"

"You look exhausted, have you not slept at all?"

Kai's living room is a moist nightmare. He can barely breathe without feeling water condescending in his nostrils. He fanned out the place, but nothing helped and when he got up after an uncomfortable night, he was covered in his sweat and had to take another shower early this morning.

Which he knows will drive his water bill up. "I have." He answers, obviously not knowing how this is related to any of the tasks Soobin needs him to do.

"There is a blanket in the storage room, and a pretty cozy corner near the window."

"… okay?"

"Kai."

"I don't understand."

Soobin presses his lips together, Kai notices he is not wearing his signature gray hoodie, but a simple white shirt. Due to the heat outside. "I know what it's like to operate on little to no sleep and I don't wish that on my worst enemies." He runs his fingers through his neat, straight hair. "Not that I have any, point is… " he grips his book in his hands. "There's barely any work today, go rest in the storage room and I'll wake you if there's a rush."

Kai's lips part in surprise; he looks around, to see if anyone else is hearing what he did. He starts to laugh because he thinks that if he does, Soobin will join and it will all be one silly joke, but the older only looks at him expectedly and gestures with his hand for Kai to go. "… sleep?" he asks dumbly.

"Yes, sleep."

"Do you mean, clock out and sleep?"

Soobin huffs. "No," an adoring smile begins to spread on his face. "Kai, it's fine. You're getting paid, just go and take a rest. I got it."

"This is absurd, tell me what to do; I'll do it. I'm fine to work." He argues.

"Okay, Umm-" Soobin closes his book. "I need you," he looks around the store. "To…" he drags his words. "Go to the storage room and close your eyes until you feel your body floating." He smiles cheekily and opens his book once again, leaving Kai speechless. "Get." He adds that Kai seems to just stand around in the same spot.

Now, it's important to know that the two don't know each other very long So when Soobin excuses him, Kai doesn't know whether it's a genuine offer or not, whether it's a trap or not. But it seems like Soobin is back to his book, just like that, he's not giving Kai any other orders.

Quietly, dumbfoundedly, Kai makes his way to the storage room. Doubting every step he takes. The more he gets closer, the less he thinks Soobin is joking.

He enters the chilled storage room, not too big but not too small. Above the canned goods, he sees a red and black patterned blanket, soft to the touch and big enough to cover him. Maybe not all of him, but just enough to make it work. Once again, he wonders If he should protest that, but the corner below the window is washed with sun rays and it's clean and inviting.

He feels tired just looking at it.

He trudges over and before he knows it, he's bundled on the floor, sleeping better than he did in a very long time.

………………………..

He knows something is horribly wrong when he wakes up from a gentle nudging on his shoulders and the afternoon, warm sunlight has turned into a cold dark. He wakes up with a start.

"Hey… are you okay?" Soobin backs away and studies Kai's alarmed face. "Come on, your shift is over."

"Over?" Kai sleepily asks, he looks around, confused to find himself in the storage room until he remembers what had happened a few hours ago. "How long- how long was I asleep?"

"Six hours."

Kai heaves, an angered expression on his face, he throws the blanket from over him. "You said you'd wake me!" he buries his hands in his hair and hurries up. Then, his expression turns apologetic. "I'm sorry," he blurts out, stumbling out of the storage room. "You don't have to pay me for today, I-" he's confused with himself, how could he slack like this?

"Kai, it's okay, of course we'll pay you."

"I need to go." He swallows and snatches his bag from the floor. "I'll-" he looks scared, Soobin doesn't know what to do with that. "I'll make it up to you," Kai promises something he wasn't asked to promise. "Just, don't fire me… okay? Please." With that, he runs out of the store with his bag bouncing on his aching back. He hates to admit it, but while he got up with a racing heart and guilt, he was also energized enough that he managed to run to the construction site.

He feels like throwing up by the time he's there but it's better than not showing up at all which might have happened if he didn't have the strength to run across town.

"You are late." He hears the three dreaded words.

"By ten minutes." Kai's quick to defend himself. He bends over and regulates his heavy breathing. "Please, I got here as fast as I could."

His boss shakes his head. Kai hates the background noise so loud and heavy; it makes him dizzy; he hates how it's the only thing he will hear for the next ten hours, and he hates what will come after those ten hours.

"You are staying overtime."

But this job pays too well to throw away because of discomfort. He bought his parents a pot, a good one, that will not grow rust on the bottom. He has enough for new bulbs and dish soap, and soon enough he'll have just about enough to move them somewhere far from the polluted air of the factories.

Kai hates that it pays too well that he cannot possibly leave even if he wants to. "Sir," he tries to bargain. Tries to. "I-"

"Overtime." His boss tightens his jaw. "Three hours."

Tears began to sting in Kai's eyes, but he'd never let his boss enjoy the sight of him crying. He ducks his head and nods. "Yes, Sir."

……………………………..

His body feels like it's going to break by the end of the thirteen hours. He practically drags his useless legs over to the changing room and he collapses on the bench and his head drops low, without energy to bounce back. Kai holds his nape and bends his head down in an attempt to massage his aching muscles.

He sits like that, his between his knees as he tries to get back up, but he can't. after what feels like, is an additional hour, he peels himself from the bench, looking at the empty changing room, he's the only one who was left to do overtime.

Kai steps into the showers and cracks up the heat to the highest degree before letting his sore body stew in the thawing water thinking that, it will loosen his muscles just enough that he can walk back home.

Chapter Text

Just keep walking Kai tells himself. This doesn't concern you. but it does. You don't care. But he does.

He's on his way to his night shift after knocking out in his apartment for the entirety of the day, from the crack of dawn until the sun has set, feeling like if he only did so much as get up, his body will fall apart.

Even now, he walks in agony, wishing he would have taken his father's relief patches. He drapes the hoodie over his head and bites off a whimper. He wishes he could exchange his body for a different one, a pain-free one.

Just walk away, Kai. He repeats to himself, but he can't possibly pass by that alley, that dammed alley. He hears a heartbreaking howling sound and he stops in his tracks. Damn it he curses. Just walk, just walk. He convinces himself. It's just a dog, let them. But it's not in him to be the jerk who walks away.

With a heavy heart, knowing he's walking into trouble. Kai dives in. "Hey!" he yells. Entering the alley where a group of guys surround a helpless dog growling in pain as they kick him mercilessly. "Stop it!" he screams. The dog cries in pain, his legs half bent. Kai's heart thumps; his eyebrows knitting together.

He's looking at five drunk men, all looking for something to hurt, something solid to kick. They look almost amused but mostly smug. "Why should we?" One of them spits his cigarette butt, still burning, on the dog and burn it with his shoes pressed on the hybrid's fur.

Walk away, Kai. "You’re hurting him."

"And why should you care, slut." He spits on the dog.  

Kai winces. "Please, stop. Just walk away, you've had your fun." He reasons with them, but guys on his block, in this area, do not listen to reason. Like he had predicted like he had known all along would happen if he continued interrupting them.

He makes eye contact with the hurt dog, and it almost looks like the dog is the one pitying Kai, not the other way around.

…………………………

He knew he should have walked away; he would have been at the store by now, answering another one of Soobin's questions and having to again, profusely apologize for his last shift. Instead, he is coughing blood on the asphalt and hoping to God his ribs are not broken.

 He's late for his shift, that's for certain now, and if his prolonged nap at work didn't nail the last nail in his coffin, this does it. He feels wet licking on his bloodied cheek, a limping dog walks around him, attempting to comfort him.

The dog howls once again, driving his paw into Kai's shoulder. "I'm alive, puppy." Kai croaks, reassuring the small dog. He pushes himself off the asphalt and leans on the wall. "Do you have no survival instincts?" he scolds the little fur ball. "Do your legs not run?"

The puppy only looks at him with, you guessed it, puppy eyes. It tilts his head and rams it into Kai's chest, almost apologizing. Kai brings up his hand and hugs the puppy in his arms. "It's not your fault." He whispers and his stomach cramps. The puppy moves closer to him and it makes little, pitiful sounds that sound like a silent cry.

Its legs are still bent, and Kai does not know what it means exactly, but taking it to a vet seems like the smarter decision. He scoops the puppy close to his chest and by pressing his sore back against the wall, he slowly begins standing up.

He turns his head to wipe the blood from his chin onto the fabric of his hoodie. His old, broken phone rings in his pocket but he's too tired to answer the call. He walks, and walks and then he walks some more.

In truthfulness, it's foolish to expect to walk until he finds a sign that says vet store or vet shop. Vet… repair? He is not too sure what it's called. The pup makes the same distressed noises and maybe, it's the sense of urgency, but Kai does not feel the pain anymore.

He sees some worried faces passing him, some are mildly disgusted, some try to ignore and some walk by while talking in whispered hushes. Maybe he walks in the wrong direction, is there a right one to the vet repair, whatever it is? His phone rings again, this time it is a short hum. He closes his eyes, tired, wishing he would just have walked away like he told himself plenty of times.

He could not have walked away, he knows that.

.....................................

"You are late."

"And ready for duty!" Beomgyu walks in like a strong slam of wind, like a hurricane into the vet clinic. He flashes a bright smile at his father which makes it hard to stay mad at him. His father only sighs with a needle in his hand and shakes his head in disapproval. "How was your day?"

"Just as any's." He replies, washing his hands at the sink and putting on latex gloves. "Who's the little guy?"

His father gives the big dog, sprawled on the table a big pat on his back, and the dog keens and hands out his paw. "This is Lightning the second. He's here for his first diabetes shot, yes you are-" he ups the pitch of his voice and plays with the dog's paw. "Yes, you are…. Can you clean the cages?"

Beomgyu lifts his hand to salute and he picks up a disinfectant and a towel, opens up the cages, and carefully places the dogs in the cages on the floor held by a loose lease until the cage is clean and they can climb back in. he does it to the whole line of cages, cleaning thoroughly and leaving no mess behind. He folds each's blanket and tucks it under the dogs for a comfier place to lay down.

He pets the dogs' heads, cooing and puckering his lips to a pout every time he speaks to them in a baby-like voice like his dad does. "You want food?" he asks, nodding his head and pouting a dried meat mix into the metal bowl. "Here you go, cute… yes, you are cute…"

The next few hours of the night shift pass in a flash, mostly it's the same tasks, disinfecting needles and restocking first aid supplies. That is until he and his father take a break involving two bowls of steaming hot, instant ramen. "Don't tell your mother." His father warns.

Beomgyu nods happily and stirs his noodles. "Never." The late-night snacks are his and his dad's little, shared secret. They could never tell her they prefer stolen slurps on packaged ramen over her cooking.

"Do you need to get up early today? I can wrap things up here."

"Thanks." Beomgyu takes in another mouthful of noodles and that is when they hear urgent knocking on their glass doors. His father looks back and Beomgyu chokes on his noodles. "Just a minute!" his Dad yells out, "Who could it be at this hour… " he whispers to his son, who shrugs; interested. He peeks his head higher. There are cases where people come in the middle of the night but most health issues in dogs are not urgent until they are severe, and even then, the dog has been there once or twice, and the owner already knows of the problem.

Late-night customers are a rarity, but they happen. "Come in," he hears his dad usher in the person. "Come in." but his voice turns urgent and high too, and he gasps.

"Dad." Beomgyu now can't stay in his chair.

"I'm sorry… " he hears another voice. "I don't have money, I didn't know where- I know it's a lot to ask, but I can't pay-" Beomgyu walks to the front of the store, his hand instinctively clamps over his mouth. A young puppy cries, curled in the pair of two, very shaky hands. "-For the treatment-"

His father places warm hands on the guy's shoulder; carefully. He's not sure where else the boy is injured and he can't take the risk of hurting him. "We'll take him." He agrees if only to calm the guy down. "Beomgyu, take the puppy and put it on my desk." He says. "Do you know where the painkillers are?"

Beomgyu nods and the puppy is handed to him, the hands of the stranger briefly brush his and the streak of blood taints his skin. He jogs to the table and lowers the puppy down whilst getting a clean needle to inject a liquid painkiller into his little body.

"Sit down." Beomgyu hears, "Do you feel faint?"

"A little… " the guy breathy responses. "I can't pay you." He repeated.  

"We know. Lay down please, I'll get you some water."

"No… " the guy protests. "The puppy first, him first."

Beomgyu injects the painkiller into the scared puppy, now that it has been snatched away from Kai, it feels endangered once again. It struggles and bites and shifts in Beomgyu's hold. "Shh… " He pets the puppy's bloodied fur. It cries on the table, slowly calming down. "It's okay, little guy."

His father comes back to the waiting room of the clinic where the unknown guy falls on one of the padded chairs. "What's your name?" he hands him the cup of water and the guy eyes it with careful eyes.

"Kai." He answers wearily. Taking the cup of water. "I'm Kwan. It's nice to meet you, Kai."

"Dad." Beomgyu comes back. "The pup needs a cast." He informs after a brief check for wounds.

"Where?"

"His back legs."

The guy props his head out. Suddenly at attention. "Will he be alright?" he asks whilst covered in blood, most of it doesn't belong to the puppy. Kwan exchanges looks with his son and he clears his throat and places his hands on his knees before he rises from the chair. "Beomgyu, bring the first aid kit." He says. "Okay?"

"Sure." Beomgyu rushes to get the red box out of its drawer. "Your dog will be just fine." He hears his dad reassure the guy. But when he comes back with the kit, he sees him shaking his head. "He's not mine-" he tells them, coughing into his hand mid-sentence. Red appears on his palm. "I saw a few people abuse him, so I stepped in, but I was too late."

His pocket rings. Kwan gives his son a final look and goes back into the clinic to attend to the hurt puppy, leaving Beomgyu and Kai alone.

"Hyung… " Kai gnaws at his lips. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… there was an emergency and then… I'll be there as soon as I can."

Beomgyu's ears perk up. No, he won't. he thinks.  He's barely walking.

"Nothing happened, I'll be there." He insists. "It won't happen again- no- I'm fine." He sighs. "I can't afford a day off… " his voice grows weaker. He hits his chest with his fist a few times. "I-" his voice seems to admit defeat. "Okay… " he agrees. "I'm sorry, Hyung. Goodnight."

Opening the kit, Beomgyu approaches Kai with a friendly smile. He thinks the guy must have had a shitty night, shittier than most. "You're that cashier. Aren't you?" he opens with a light conversation, and it helps when he begins to recognize the guy behind the cuts and bruises.

Kai looks at him. "Uh- yeah." He wipes his bloody nose. "I… should probably go. Thank you, for taking the puppy." His hand wraps over his stomach in a way that worries Beomgyu. He stands up with a wince and a sharp inhale.

"You're not leaving looking like that, what kind of name will my father's clinic have? Sit back down." He orders. And it seems like he made a good point because the guy is now conflicted. "Take off your shirt." His heart beats like it had not before. He tries to remain professional and yet the only beings he took care of were animals, not injured men showing on the clinic's doorstep.

"Excuse me?"

"You're hurt."

"I'm fine."

"I can see that." A kind smile appears on Beomgyu's face. "My Dad won't let you go looking like this, you might as well comply."

He can see the hesitation, the confusion, and finally, the resolves on the guy's face. He sits back down, breathing harshly when he does. It's like his body connects like a magnet to the chair because when he sits down, he barely moves anymore.

Kai closes his eyes and with a pang of shame, he pulls the hoodie from above him to let his bare, bruised skin breathe. His back aches and he shifts on the chair in hopes of finding a comfortable position.

"We have a couch inside. Follow me."

Confused but grateful for the hospitality, Kai can't help but lean on the pretty boy's shoulder if not only to relieve the overwhelming pain in his legs. He is overworked himself, again. He has overdone it, again. They get to a space, that looks more like a living room than a clinic, a hybrid between the two.

He doesn't remember how he got to the couch but he only knows he feels a cushiony-like bounciness under his back and instantly, he feels better. A content sigh leaves his bleeding lips.

"I have… " his chest goes up and down dramatically. "A ten-dollar bill in my pocket, it's not enough, but you should take it."

If the guy heard what he said, he simply ignored it. Kai lulls his head to the side and sees the guy fan his hair away from his face whilst he opens an opaque-looking bottle with a white label. He pours some of the liquid onto a white pad. "This may hurt a little."

Kai doesn't have the strength to nod. His eyes slowly close together with the scent of rubbing alcohol over him. He feels a slight sting, then a more powerful one. He shifts on the couch. He opens his eyes weakly, not knowing how much time has passed.

The guy pushes ointment from a silver tube onto a cotton swab and gently swipes it over the multiple cuts. "Sleep if you want, My Dad won't care."

"I have work."

"Work can wait," Beomgyu argues. He sees a faint marking on Kai's shoulders, blue and in the shape of a long line. He flips his over just a little more. The lines continue down his lower back.

Kai laughs; halfway asleep. "Work waits for no one." He whispers right before he is out cold.

Work waits for no one. Beomgyu wonders what it means, not in the literal sense, but what it means to the guy currently passed out on their couch. He continues cleaning the wounds, the task is done more easily when there are no reactions from the patient.

He sticks relief patches on the concerning marks on the guy's back, one on each side of his lower back and two on each of his shoulders. They're rigid to the touch. It feels pointless to throw the dirty shirt on him again since it'll ruin the hard work Beomgyu has done cleaning the blood off the semi-stranger.

There has got to be some clothing of Yeonjun discarded somewhere in their back room. He searches thoroughly until he finds a red and black checkered hoodie that seems oversized enough to fit just right.

He folds it neatly and leaves it on the head of the couch for the stranger to wear when he wakes up.

"Do you know him?" Kwan inject a sedative into a brown furred, small puppy. He lifts up his injured legs whilst muttering an apology even though the puppy is too drugged now to feel it. He flips the pup on the side.

Beomgyu makes a face. "The puppy?"

 "No, the boy."

"Oh." Beomgyu sits at the chair near the table and gives his dad a roll of medical tape. He watches at his dad salivates the back leg of the puppy and applies tape on the ventral aspect of his foot. "He works at a store in West Park. I only saw him once."

Kwan pauses the treatment to look at his son. "Why were you at West Park?" he brings his attention back to the dog. "It's not safe." He adds.

"Clearly. Do we need a stockinette?"

"Back drawer."

Beomgyu hops off the chair and bends down to eye level with the chest of endless little drawers. He opens the one labeled cast aid. And rummages through It until he finds a pack of stockinette.

When he comes back, the padding is already done on one leg. "I told him he could rest here; I hope that's fine."

"The boy?"

"No, the puppy," Beomgyu replies sarcastically. "Yes, the boy. I don't think he could have made it far if he left." He helps his dad roll the casting material around the dog's short leg, holding it carefully to not harm it further.

After they tend to the dog, Kwan carries him to an unoccupied cage and the third row. Beomgyu clips a protective vest on the puppy's hurt body, and they leave him to sleep soundly on a wool blanket.

Kwan takes their two unfinished bowls of noodles and throws them into the microwave although he can't guarantee they'll taste as good as they do from out of the pot. The father and son wash their hands in the sink, cleaning the blood and gypsum powder that stuck to their skin as they made the casting.

The next hour passes by with little to no problems. At around 4 in the morning, Beomgyu brings all of the dirty metal bowls in a pile and washes them one by one in a bucket of fresh water. He wipes them clean while sitting cross-legged on the floor.

He stifles a yawn and rolls his sleeves up to avoid getting the hems wet.

"Coffee?"

Beomgyu laughs. "If it isn't the perfect time for liquid caffeine." He agrees with his father. He opens two cans of cold brew and pours a splash of creamer found in the small fridge next to the couch.  The stranger shifts slightly and a frown forms on his face. "Ah." A small, pained exhale leaves his body. He shifts once again and Beomgyu freezes. He wonders if they were being too loud, but technically, it is their space.

He hands his father a can. "Ugh." He hears a groan and turns back. A pair of sleepless eyes flutter back at him. The stranger attempts to get up but he only lands back down. "You might need to lay down for now," Kwan says, sipping from the can and finishing half of it in one go.

Kai looks at him, confused. "What time is it?" he wraps a hand around his torso and against Kwan's words, he gets up from the couch into a sitting position.

"Almost five. How old are you?"

The man's questions are particular and Kai doesn't fully get why they are so casual about him staying in their clinic. "Nineteen." But he feels too obligated not to answer. Five o'clock means it's four hours past the time he needed to clock in.

"A student then? Like you." He turns to the pretty boy and it doesn't take a genius to have one look at the pair and know they are related by blood.

There is a certain shame every time Kai is reminded that a boy his age should attend college, gain knowledge, and get a good job. "I'm not a student." He bites his lips then regrets it when his teeth brush a cut in the corner of his mouth. He grabs his sweaty shirt that's thrown on the floor with disregard.

"Don't wear that." The pretty boy… Beomgyu the name pops into his mind. Now he remembers. How can he not? A face like that is hard to forget. "Take that." He points at a black and red hoodie.

"Not a student?" Kwan questions, sitting in a brown chair and stroking his graying beard.

"I work in construction." The shameful words leave Kai's mouth fast and he slings the hoodie on him with ache growing in his body. "I'll repay you for tonight," he promises. "However much your treatment costs."

"That won't be necessary." Kwan smiles. "Construction, you say? Are you any good with your hands?"

"Depends."

"I have a few broken cages; I need the hinges fixed."  He turns around and points at a far corner after the occupied cages. There is a pile of unattended ones with the doors breaking off and the locks hanging loosely on them. "I have a princess for a son," Beomgyu glares with his almond eyes. "And it's too much of a headache to do it myself." He clasps his hand. "That is if you really want to give us something in return for the puppy."

Kai gives another glance at the pile. "I can do that, thank you." He agrees not only because he hates owing someone something, and nothing comes for free. If he comes back, he can visit the puppy, and maybe he's not ready for it to be the last time he sees the boy with the shiny almond eyes and the addictive smile.  

"That's no problem, any protector of animals is a friend of ours." Kwan stands up, with his hands grabbing his bad knees. "Now, you should eat before you leave."

………………………

He can't quite interpret the look that his boss gives him when he shows up for work at 12:00 pm sharp. He isn't late, he's even earlier than most guys at the site. Kai lowers his helmet to cover his black eye, trying to hide the bruises.

Kai picks up metal rods from the ground near the sidewalk and hoists them on his back, breathing shallowly as he makes his way to the other employees. "Careful of the cement."  

He nods. "Grab us those bags over there." Someone orders him. He can't tell over the helmet covering his eyes and restricting his vision. He walks back and digs his gloved fingers under the brown sack filled with sand. He picks one up with a grunt and a tick of his jaw.

The tractor beeps and Kai moves out of the road to let it pass by. The sun shines strongly over their backs and he feels his neon orange vest sticking to him; drenched in sweat.

The site is always chaotic no matter what. People communicate with yells to overcome the noise of the machinery around them. You should always watch out for the bulldozer because John rarely pays attention to the rearview mirror while he drives. Everyone knows that.

 There's too much to do in very little time and too many places to be with only his two legs going back and forth. He slings a rope and loops it around the bulldozer's back ring; climbing on the large vehicle with only a push of his hands, he stands in the front of the unmoving car and catches the planks of wood thrown to him from under the car.

He wipes his forehead; licking his dry lips. He hops off, landing on his bad foot. He limps over to the sidewalk where he has only two gulps of water being called back to work. He knows his boss is watching from his office, always with three eyes on Kai even though he doesn't know why he's being singled out of the workers, why he's the one being reprimanded when the rest come and go whenever they please and he should pick up their slack.

He gets handed a screwdriver and he drops to his knees and screws the metal planks together, tightening their hold. He slaps the railing twice to check that it's strong enough and he continues adding more and more rods into the structure.

"Duck!" he hears a loud bang, and someone pushes his head down while a stack of wood goes over him. The noise is screeching loud. "I told you to fucking duck."

"You gave me a millisecond notice, dumbass," Kai mutters. He raises his head slowly and takes a few screws in his palm. He hates this place. But it pays too good, too good.  He has to remind himself at the start of every shift. Pays so well, it's money he can start saving, it's a sum of money each month that can turn their life around.

The guy shrugs. "You should act fast, Kid. Or else you'd be left headless." He gets up and gives Kai a strong hit on his back. He folds over "Ugh." Kai clenches his hands and grits his teeth, pushing his jaw forward.

"That's for calling me a dumbass."

Chapter Text

He trudges to the bus station, his legs giving out at the nearest bench he lays his eyes on. Kai accepts defeat for the night and waits for the bus since even if he wanted to, he couldn't have walked to the store, not tonight.

When the bus comes, he begrudgingly pays the dollar fifty for the ride and crashes at the back seats until he approaches his station fifteen minutes later. He stumbles down the stairs of the bus, pushing his hands into his pants' pockets.  

It's only a couple of steps to the entrance of the store where he sees Soobin sigh on a few papers and sending the delivery guy home with a good night before kicking the boxes, only moving them little by little into the store.

Kai jogs over. "I'll do it." He immediately grabs a box from the ground.

"Kai." Soobin stands around, blinking. "Sorry about last night," he hears in response. He looks at the boy, younger than him by just three years. He's already moving the boxes inside, his face planted in the ground. "It's fine." Soobin waves his apology off.

Kai adjusts his mask and pulls his cap under. He crouches down, slicing the masking tape open.

"So, what happened?"

"I'm sorry for bailing last night, But I'd be happy if you didn't ask why." He pulls the items from the box. He knows he's being rude, and he knows the decent thing to do is tell Soobin why he flunked out last night, he's sure it was an inconvenience, and he is sorry for that.

Soobin pulls out the tagger. "Fine," he's reluctant to say. He then sends Kai to the storage room to reshelve and put the things that don't fit on the shelf at the store into boxes for when they need to restock.

 He does so happily, needing the quiet and methodical organizing after his day shift at the site. After a few hours, Soobin peeks his head in, handing him a packaged lunch. "Taste it, I need to know whether to order more." He leaves the black tray on an unopened carton box.

Kai picks up the plastic utensils. The tray smells like chicken, he's hadn't had chicken in a long time. There are pickled vegetables and a big serving of purple rice. His mouth waters.

He loops his fingers in the strings of the mask under his ears and peels it off whilst making sure Soobin is at the register. He takes the tray and takes a few steps further into the room where he sits on the warm floor and ravishes in the richest lunch he's had in weeks.

And whether it was good enough or not, he ate the entire thing.

……………………

"See me in my office after hours." Has become the string of words Kai feared most from. With his helmet in his hands, he stands dejected while his boss walks away from him as if he didn't make Kai's chest hurt at the thought of the end of his shift.

He clocks in five minutes after everyone else. Only five minutes. Just five minutes. He feels like going crazy, but he tries to forget it, for the entire shift, he tries. But dread seeps in and he's not ready.

He doesn't want to. But admittingly, he'd take that over having to stay three or four hours more. He has to pick his battles.

"Sir," his hand hovers over the half-opened office door. It shakes. He tried to pretend like it did not. like he's not scared. "You wanted to see me." He reminds him, maybe he shouldn't. Maybe if he slipped away with the rest of the workers then his boss would forget that he's even told Kai to come in.

Maybe one day he'll try that.

He waits until his boss is done typing something on his computer, his face is blank and focused. "Close the door, Kai." He orders without giving his regards to him.

With a daunting click, Kai pushed the door closed. "Lock it for me too, will you?" he hears, and something ugly blooms in Kai's chest. He tries breathing.

Just do it. He locks it. It'll be over soon. He waits again, impatiently so. His front hands clasp together in front of his body, twitchy. Everything about this office makes his senses twice more sensitive. The ticking clock above the door, for some reason he can hear each tick. The air conditioning that is always on, successfully freezing the room while the sun outside shines bright. The thick curtains draping over the windows make sure the rays do not seep in.

The walls are gray colored and dull, and inside the room smells of cheap cigars and the same cologne every time, musk, and suffocating.

His boss clears his throat and Kai stops looking around. He looks back at him. "What are you waiting for? We've done this plenty of times already." He intertwines his fingers, expecting Kai of something.

Kai seemed to have swallowed his tongue.

"Knees." His boss says, so calmly, with such ease. It kills him.

"I was five minutes late," Kai argues. "Five minutes." He repeats, with a scandalized expression on his face. His hands shake in front of him; overcome with a sense of injustice.

"Well," his boss purses his lips. "Were you late?"

"Yes," Kai cannot do anything but admit to it. "But-"

"Knees."

With a frustrated tick of his nose, Kai's neck bobs as he swallows his ego. The little amount of dignity he had left been stripped away when he locked that door. He hates how a simple word like so has that much control over him.  "Why only me?" anger floods his voice. "Helvar only got here at one, Milo didn't show up until the middle of the shift, why only me?"

"Because they can afford to get their pay deducted." His boss has his hand raised at the sides of his body as if he does not understand why Kai is being fussy now. "You don't. it's in the contract. You are late, and your pay gets deducted twenty-five percent. You cannot have that, can you?"

Kai bites his lip so hard; that he can draw blood out. He just stands there, unwilling to agree.

"If that's what you want, I'll deduct it, and we can all go home. I have places to be too."

His angry eyes turn somewhat thoughtful, with a glint of reluctance and a seldom acceptance. Kai looks at the floor, already knowing what the answer in his heart is. He looks to the side, avoiding his boss's smug face whilst he drops to his knees in front of him.

A new lightbulb, this month's rent, warm food. Bribe money for clean water. There is too much he can do with his paycheck; he reminds himself that. The meaning of the phrase saving money means too much to him.

Kai raises his hands, the way high schoolers do for punishment whenever they mess up. The other students pass by them in the hallways, a warning to not follow their acts. His shoulders ache.

A new lightbulb. The first strike hits; he can feel the wrath of the cane on his back. clean water. That can flow in his parent's faucet instead of the gray liquid coming out of it. It tastes of chemicals. The second strike makes him ball his raised palms into fists. His shoulder muscles tense and strain.

He doesn't want to wait for the third strike.

…………………………..

The clock ticks behind him; he has no idea how much time has passed. His back is on fire, his arms are seconds away from giving out.

The sounds of the keyboard are maddening. He sits there like one of the furniture whilst his boss continues working as if he's not there. It's humiliating. He thinks maybe that's the point of it.

He licks his chapped lips. "Can I be excused, Sir? It's getting late." He hopes it isn't past midnight. He lifts his head up, hardened eyes staring at his boss.

The typing halts. His boss looks above him; at the clock he presumes. "Make sure it doesn't happen again."

Kai nods.

"You can leave now."

His arms drop, inflicting both pain relief throughout his upper body. He gets up fast, as if he's afraid his boss will suddenly take his words back. he makes a beeline for the locked door.

"Kai."

He freezes.

"Your paycheck." His boss laughs. It's not funny. "Should I keep it?" he asks.

Kai turns back around; his stiff body takes a few steps forward. He snatches the envelope from his boss's desk with one sharp movement. Breathing heavily. With the money safe in his hands, he feels like the beating might not have been too bad.

………………………..

Yeonjun hand is stained with hot Cheetos, deep in the snack bag that makes annoying crinkle sounds. He puts his legs on the couch and pushes Beomgyu's hand away.

"Stop hogging!" Beomgyu complains. "Taehyun-ah," he turns to their redheaded friend. Who ironically enough is the calmest of the three friends. "Tell him."

Taehyun scratched a mosquito bite on his leg; uninterested. "Stop hogging, Hyung," he says without taking his eyes off the irritating red bump.

"It's my Cheetos, Dummies."

"Pig." Beomgyu pouts.

Yeonjun sticks out his orange-tainted tongue. "Baby." He retaliates childly, crossing his legs on the couch and deliberately tilting the bag into his mouth and eating the crushed bits.

Entering the back room with bags of baked goods, Kwan leaves the bags on the table. "No legs on the couch, Yeonjun." He scolds lightly but still hands the young boy a pastry. He happily accepts it. "Thanks, Kwan." He takes the flaky, sugary bread and uncrosses his legs, lowering them to the floor.

"Taehyun?"

"Are there any buttered-"

"Buttered, yes," Kwan says almost at the same time. "I know what you like," he pulls a sour face. "You two eat my entire salary each month, how could I not?"

Taehyun smiles innocently and bites the buttered croissant. Yeonjun rolls his eyes. "In denial like your son, you love us."

"I'd love you more if you'd remember that no legs are allowed-"

"On the couch." Yeonjun completes with a mouthful of sweetened bread. "Gotcha." he licks his fingers clean.

Beomgyu only shakes his head before rummaging in the bags, he finally finds a chocolate-filled bun and grins before biting half of it down. A gentle smack at the back of his head makes him turn around. "Ouch." He met with an amused expression on his dad's face. "What was that for?"

"Find better friends. Preferably ones who have homes to be at this time of day." He walks away whilst Yeonjun pouts. "That old man," he fights off a smile. "Too cranky."

 Beomgyu folds his legs on the chair and fills his cheeks until they are puffed. "It's good, Dad." His words are muffled but the intention is there.

His father hums from across the room which means he had heard and acknowledged. He tends to something in the drawers, filling tubes of medicine. "What about him?" Yeonjun shows him a pic of a guy on his phone.

Beomgyu scrunches his nose and shakes his head. "Too burly."

"He's in your class, isn't he?"

"I hope not."

Taehyun peeks at the picture. "Why?" he wonders, "Sure… he's a bit… beardy for our age but he looks-" he tilts his head. "Never mind, you can do better."

"See?" Beomgyu gestured. "Taehyun has class."

Yeonjun leans on the couch again after taking another pastry from the paper bags. "Stay single forever then."

"Oh." They hear a gasp. His father comes back with a cage in each hand. He nods approvingly. "That's the first wise thing I've heard you say." He squeezes Yeonjun's shoulder and the one grins in what appears to be victory, although it's hardly a compliment.

"Why, thank you." He replies, giving Beomgyu a smug eyebrow raise which gets him flakes thrown on his clothes. "Do you need help?" he asks Kwan. Seeing Beomgyu's father struggling to carry the hefty cages from the room where the animals are kept to the backroom onto a large, wooden table. Yeonjun rubs his hands together, getting rid of the crumbs and ready to help.

He gets kicked by Taehyun. "Why are you volunteering us?!" he whisper-yells but it's all in good intentions as he gets his hands cleaned as well.

Kwan only shakes his head in a hidden fondness for his son's friends who soon became be people of their house before he could even register it. Knocking seems to come from outside just as the two get up to help carry the cages. He straightens up. "Seems like He's early. Can you open the door?"

"Who is?" he hears Yeonjun asking.

Beomgyu gets up as well and walks across the back room, pushing the two doors into the waiting room and passing by the workroom on his way. He opens the glass doors; by doing so, inviting Kai inside. "Hey." He greets. He only catches a glimpse of Kai's eyes, the rest of his face concealed by a black mask over his mouth and nose, a gray; patchy hat over his head, pushing his hair back and the cap hiding his forehead and eyebrows only peeking from under it.

Although he can only see his eyes peering through; he can sense a certain vibe from the guy. Something saddened and on edge. Kai only nods back, passing through with a big black box in his hand; his fingers gripping the handle with unnecessary tension.

His father appears from the low doors of the back room. He brushes his hands on his pants and reaches his hand for Kai's. "It's nice to have you here, thank you for agreeing to help." He shakes his spare hand; the one not holding the box.

"It’s no problem," Kai replies shortly.

Kwan retracts his hand, giving Kai a reassuring smile. Beomgyu wonders if, like himself, he sensed something was wrong. "Come on, I'll show you where you can work." He leads him to the back room and Beomgyu swears, when Kai looks at him once more, briefly, he sees a faint, red tint at the corner of his eyes. He sucks in a breath; hoping he imagined it. "We've already put the cages here." He points at the light brown work desk.

There are four, maybe five cages in the pile. Some missing their doors but he figures the doors are in the pile as well, just detached. "Take as long as you need." Kwan pushes a chair under the desk. "There's no rush."

Beomgyu leaves to join his friends who are once again lounging on the couch, but this time, like nosy hawks; they stare at the new guy like a fresh chunk of meat ready to be assessed.

"Who's the hottie?" Beomgyu knows he's spending way too much time with his friends to already predict Yeonjun's question. "No one." He answers.  

Yeonjun raises his eyebrow and stretches his neck to get a better look. Suddenly, Beomgyu's upset he's sitting facing the wall instead of the side where Kai sits; working diligently. "Hardly seem like no one. Did Kwan hire him?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?" Taehyun parrots in an interested tone that isn't anything but alarming. He squints his eyes and bends forward with his elbows on his knees. He double looks, blinking. "Looks familiar." He adds.

Beomgyu shrugs. "Your ears are turning red," Yeonjun points out, a knowing smile tugs on his lips. He leans back, clicking his teeth. "You think he's hot." He says as if he's stating a fact. "I can see that," he curls his lips in a way that takes an impression. "I mean, I can't see much. But he has a nice build, although I thought burly wasn’t your thing."

"It isn't, shut up." Beomgyu hisses, "He's going to hear you." He grows quiet and Yeonjun raises his hands as if to say if you say so. "And he's hardly burly," Beomgyu mutters quietly after some time, which makes Yeonjun stifle his evil laugh and exchange looks with Taehyun.

They quickly return to Yeonjun's dating app where they try finding Beomgyu a decent guy, then the search turns into a debate on whether dating apps ruin the simplicity of approaching someone and just letting them know. Hey, I like you.

Beomgyu steals a glance when he turns his head but subtly, pretending to scratch his back. he prolongs the glance; his friends are too busy arguing over the ethics of hitting on someone, to notice him.

The wooden desk is maybe, six or seven feet away from them yet he can perfectly see the way Kai's hands handle the delicate mechanism of the door locks, rolling tiny screws and parts Beomgyu doesn't even know how to name and carefully arranging them in place. Something about the way he's so focused, he's not even paying attention to what's going on around him, fixing the cages in detail; it's evident he's being thorough with the job, taking Kwan's words to heart, not rushing the process.

"If it's someone you see from time to time, and you both kinda know, you know?" Yeonjun runs his fingers through his recently died hair. "Then, by all means, approach them. But if it's a rando on the street it's weird. I don't know you, why would I give you, my number?" he fiddles with a fried piece of hair in his hand.

Beomgyu tunes out their conversation, he gets up slowly; grabs whatever is left in the paper bags, and walks further to the back of the room where he finds a few discarded plastic plates. He fishes out a pizza twist and a cinnamon bun. Something sweet and something salty; putting them onto the plate.

He walks with a purpose towards the work desk and now he's certain his friends are watching him with suspicion and anticipation from the sudden lack of chatter behind him. Nosy hags. He thinks bitterly.

"How's it going?" he asked not to be polite, but a genuine wonder. It seems like Kai has made quite a progress in only thirty minutes. "You work fast." Beomgyu comments in awe. He places the plate on the desk. "So," he feels awkward speaking by himself, but Kai only looks at him wordlessly, so he fills the silence. "My dad bought this; he went a little overboard." He explains. "Have some." He says in a way that doesn't leave Kai room to appose to the offer.

"Thanks."

"Are you okay now? Your body-" Beomgyu blinks. "I mean, not your body, not that I was… looking or anything. Just-" he sighs. "How's… it?"

Even with the mask, Beomgyu can recognize the breathy sound that has come out of Kai's lips as a mix of a shy and surprised laugh. "My body?" he asks.

Beomgyu's face heats up. "Hmm." He nods, proud to draw a smile out of the guy. He looks down, his neck and cheeks burning hot.

Something dims in the air around them. He does not know if it is what he asked or if something else has caused the sudden shift in the conversation. Kai shifts uncomfortably in his chair and warning sirens go off in Beomgyu's mind. Did he say something wrong?

As if he suddenly is reminded of Beomgyu's presence, and the growing worry on his face. Something shifts again, but it's only because Kai forces it to. He smiles politely, Beomgyu cannot see it behind the mask. Real smiles are found in the eyes, but he can only see the dimming glow in Kai's eyes. "I'm fine now, but" he turns his head to the desk. "I should get back to work."

"Oh." An idea pops into his mind. "Well, maybe after you are done… you'll visit your puppy?" he suggests. "If you want to, of course. I'm sure he'll be over the moon to see his savior again." He smiles.

Kai is already head in the hinges. "That sounds nice." But he answers either way and Beomgyu is satisfied with that. He turns on his heels and walks back to his friends.

He sits on the spinning chair again. "Not a word." He says before any of them get any weird ideas.

"Didn't think of it," Yeonjun says in defense.

Beomgyu's heart still beats weirdly. "Sure."

…………………………….

After kicking out his friends to their respective homes and enduring more of their teasing, he goes back into the clinic where Kai waits inside. "Sorry about that." He apologizes for the wait. Beomgyu looks for the key with the number of the right cage written on it.

He takes the one labeled 32. He leads Kai to the rows of cages arranged on a large wooden shelf. He stops at the front of the line in the third row. Angry barking ensues. "He's still a little scared, so he's feisty, " he excuses.

The brown puppy back to the back of the cage, the wheels of his aid device rolling back as well. He opens the door with one turn of the lock. "Someone is here to see you." He says.

The puppy barks loudly, weary. Until he sniffs the air and his tail lifts. He looks around with his little black eyes. Kai walks into his vision and the puppy tilts his head and his barking halts almost immediately.

Beomgyu can see the surprise In Kai's eyes. "He recognizes you."

The puppy whines, walking with his front legs. He whines again, brushing his wet nose on Kai's clothes. Kai picks the puppy in his hands as he did that night. The puppy rubs his head into Kai's chest, licking his bare neck.

It draws a laugh out of him. Without thinking, he takes off the black mask covering his face, and, in an instant, he is attacked by the pink tongue of the puppy, licking his face off with overwhelming affection. He whines again and his paw claws at Kai's shirt, climbing on him.

He pets the dent on the puppy's head, dragging his fingers gently over the fur. "I missed you too, buddy," Kai says, and it sounds like his words are genuine. Beomgyu wonders if he had been waiting to meet the pup again, and if he did, why didn't he say so?

"Do you want to bathe him?" Beomgyu offers. "We haven't done it yet; he's been too aggressive. Even feeding him gets tricky some days."

"Aren't I supposed to be trained to do that?" Kai asks. "What if I break him by accident?" he raises an absurd concern that makes Beomgyu huff. He shows Kai in a different room, smaller but with a large sink attached to the right wall. He holds the puppy closer as if it's precious to him.

Beomgyu gives Kai a run down on how to check if the water is too hot or too cold, he shows him what soaps to use and how to massage them into the fur without it irritating the puppy.

But it appears that the puppy is calmer than ever in Kai's arms. So, there I hardly a need for complicated explanations.

"Am I doing it right?" Kai takes a cup of soap-infused water and gently pours it over the brown fur, placing the cup on the sink and rubbing his fingers to emulsify the soap and make it into a white foam. The dog keens happily, wagging its tail subtly; side to side.

A smile spreads on Kai's face without him seeming to notice it. His shoulder drops down in a way that relaxes his body. He dunks the cup into the water and pours it gently over the puppy's head. The puppy looks up at him, observing Kai with a sense of gratefulness. "He's expressive," Kai comments.

Beomgyu hums. "He likes you."

"Yeah, he better," Kai mutters. It would be too upsetting if he didn't after what Kai has done for him. With every pour of water, with each gentle rub on the puppy's fur, Kai seems to loosen up increasingly, enjoying it. He pushes the soap away from the puppy's eyes, dragging the trickling hose over the fur to wash it until it's squeaky clean.

The dog sits still; incredibly docile, unlike the way he was with Beomgyu even since that night. While Beomgyu is as gentle as Kai, the puppy has yet to trust him. Like his savior, he appears calmer and meditated. Emitting the same emotions Kai does.

They are similar, in their natural quietness. Expressing more with their bodies than they do with words. "He doesn't have a name yet."

Kai wraps the puppy in a towel like Beomgyu had previously shown him, cocooning the small dog in the fabric like a living burrito. "Why not?"

"We thought it'd be appropriate for you to name him." Beomgyu reasons. "You are somewhat… his owner."

"I'm not, I can't take him in."

"You don't have to." Beomgyu soothes. "You can come into the clinic to visit him and go as you please. We can put him up for adoption, but it won't be easy. He's petrified." He sees in Kai's eyes that he sympathizes with the puppy. Beomgyu wonders what are things that petrify Kai. He does not know him well enough to answer that by himself; yet.

Kai holds the puppy close; it looks back at him like it knows. The puppy licks Kai's chin, affectionately, like he wants to convince him. The puppy licks the wounds and small cuts that look like red lines on Kai's face. "Brownie."

"Brownie?"

"Yes." Kai looks at Beomgyu. "His name's Brownie." He pets the puppy's head slowly, making soothing circular motions that make the puppy close his eyes and relish in the soft petting. Sent off to a third dimension. It must be his sensitive spot. Some dogs enjoy petting on the belly on under the chin, but Brownie responds well to the head pats. Beomgyu makes a mental note of that piece of information in his head for the next time he must feed Brownie.  

"Why?" He must ask, wondering to himself whether that's Kai's favorite food, maybe dessert. Or a nostalgic childhood food. but it's none of that.

"I won brownie points with him. That's why."

Chapter Text

The items in the bag rattle with his steps. He climbs the endless staircase, dragging his feet across, using the rail made out of white stone. The walk to his parents' house always feels impossible until he is already by the door.

For the people that never leave the cramped neighborhood, the way there doesn't impose much difficulty. But for Kai, someone who walks that path every week, it's a nightmare. At least the way to the house, the way from is much easier since it's a decline.

He rests his hands on his knees and continues climbing the stairs until he smells the familiar smell of fish. It tells him he's close. He passes by the fish market, pushing his way through the crowds. There are no words to describe the particular hatred he has for this part of the city.

It's everything from the overpopulation in that specific area. The smell of food everywhere he goes, none of it smells too appealing. There is always someone trying to sell you something just so they can make a living and survive another month, and you should always look behind your back.

And keep your wallet close, if you even have one.

He passes by a few people sleeping on the curb, coughing, and begging for money. Something in his mind screams. You are just a step away from becoming a beggar. Every single time.

But if he works his body off to keep those thoughts away, they will be just fine.

Kids play on the playground he used to steer clear from. Their clothes are muddy, but their faces have smiles on them, not realizing how bad the life they were born to truly is.

Despite his recoil for this place, he admits it's better than West Park. Although none of the people here have much to live for, they are friendly. If weirdly so. They might smile at you, then pocket your wallet when you are not looking but at least they will have the decency not to steal it right in front of you while kicking you to the curb.

Finally, he walks further away from the center of the neighborhood and things begin to look more put together, not by much but it's enough for him to breathe in relief. He passes through an alley and the street is empty enough to give him the littlest peace of mind.

His eyes catch sight of a familiar face, and he breaks into a surprised smile. "Dad!" he calls, suddenly transformed into a little kid and he jogs to hug his old man. He wasn't expecting to see him until next week but they haven't seen each other in a couple of months already.

"Kai." His father lets out of oomph as his son rams into his body. He strokes his back. "What are you doing here, Son?" he asks with affection in his voice. He hugs his son tight like he hasn’t seen him in years.

The move has been hard on him, and knowing his son moved to West Park of all places didn't make it better.

Kai pulls apart. "I'm here to visit mom-"

His father grabs his chin and lifts his head. "What happened to your face?" he asks with a hardened voice. "Who did that?"

"N-no one, Dad." Kai stammers. "Let it go." He pulls away. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"I'd be a lot happier seeing you without those bruises on your face." His eyes down cast. He sighs when his son only looks at him in return. "Of course I'm happy." He drags his son for another hug. "I'm worried, S'all."

Kai won't tell his dad not to worry because he knows as a parent, he must, at all times. Truth be told, he was reckless coming here before his cuts faded. He should have known it would trigger concern.

"What did you get?" his father points at the bag.

"A new lightbulb, and batteries for the fan. Mom said the heat was bad."

"It is." His Dad agrees. "I sawed a window in the living room, but it didn't do much. How's the weather in West Park?"

"More than the same," Kai says. His dad nods understandingly. Worry knitted in his eyebrows. "But my fan works perfectly, and I work indoors." He reassures. "It's the winter we should worry about anyway." He changes the subject, anything other than talking about his dire living conditions.

"Mom will sew blankets."

"From what wool, Dad?"

"I'll take care of it," he kisses his son on the forehead and an encouraging squeeze to his shoulders. "I have to go to work." He bends to his son's eye level. Although he's almost as tall as his father now. "Stay out of trouble, okay? Keep to yourself. Don't make eye contact with people if it's not necessary, you can never know."

Kai nods. He steals one more hug from his dad and they both go separate ways. He feels more energized than he was a few minutes earlier. He continues walking uphill, reaching their doorstep.

He knocks first before fishing the key from his pocket and unlocking the door. He opens it without it screeching, the screws hold well, he thinks. It might last a few more months before it would need re-tightening. "Mom."

He hears shuffling in the living room before steps approach him. His mom ties her hair in a low bun and wraps her thin hands around him. He should buy groceries next. "Did you sleep?" he asks.

"Your father bought fish cakes." She ignores his questions and drags him by the hand to the kitchen. She excitedly enough shows him the clean stream of water from the faucet. "Did he?" Kai questions, they haven't had fishcakes yet this season. He didn't think they were available. Not at a reasonable price.

His mom hits him on the arm as he washes his hands clean. "I told you not to buy us anything." The eyes the bag.

"It's fine, mom. The hardware had a sale."

"Your father spoke to the landlord." She says, sitting on the table and grabbing a root of a parsnip. She peels the hard skin of the vegetable with a sharp knife. "I told you he would listen."

He did, the landlord listened very well to half of Kai's paycheck before promising him he'd take care of the water problem. With that sum of money, Kai would find him if he didn't. "That’s nice, mom. But he should have taken care of that sooner."

"Better late than never." His parents are too lenient for their good, a naiveness that puts them where they are at right now. You need to have a backbone to lead a good life, but his family was always too kind for that.

Kai pours himself soup with a few fish cake skewers. He sits down and eats, the taste of homecooked food comforts him. His mom brings him cuts up apples when he is done and he eats them whilst attaching the new lightbulb over the dining table.

He opens the ladder and climbs two steps before unscrewing the old lightbulb. It's hot in his hands and he gently places it on the table to keep it from shattering inside the house. He'll throw it out later.

The new lightbulb shines bright and to their glee, it doesn't flicker either. "See," he tells his mom. "Isn't that nicer?"

His mom shrugs. "You should keep that money for yourself."

Kai waves her off. He steps down and folds the ladder, carrying it to the washroom where he leans it on the peeling wall. "What kind of son would I be?"

"The kind that can pay his bills."

He grabs a piece of red apple from the table. "I pay them just fine, Mom." He bites into it while digging his hand into the plastic bag he brought with him. He gets out the pack of fifteen batteries in one package. He senses the gaze of his mother. "They had a sale." He repeats.

"Sale or not, batteries are expensive." Her eyes scrutinize him. "Where's the money from?" she asks. "A cashier's job can't cover that."

Kai swallows. "My rent is cheap." He would do anything for the topic to change. He hates lying to his parents. "And the food is free at work, I got lucky."

She blinks but says nothing. He knows she's getting suspicious but he's not going to stop buying necessities if they need it. Clean water? Light? They need it, it's not a want any longer, they can't live like this.

He takes the batteries out and the silence is thick. Kai inserts a few into the fan and he closes the lid before clicking the on button. It rattles loudly but spins nonetheless, emitting air strongly.  

Kai smiles. It should last the rest of the summer. He lifts it and places it in front of the kitchen. "Come on, Mom. You have to admit it's nice. No more sweating above the stove."

"You wouldn't be lying to me, Kai." She asks suddenly. "Right?" the question hangs in the air and Kai's smile drops. He quickly picks it up again and laughs. "What do you take me for, Mom." He says with a whine. "Of course not." He answers.

The fan works hard in the back, but Kai still breaks into nervous sweat. He takes his plate to the sink and scrubs it clean, drying it off with his sleeve.

The faint sound of the parsnip being peeled melds with the fanning of air into the kitchen. He does not know what to make of his mom resuming her task. He takes a look at the clock. "I should go. My shift's starting soon."

"Finish your apples first."

............................

He stacks the gum packets into their place below the register, lips pouting in concentration and sighing when the stack falls on the floor again. He picks the packets and stably rearranges them.

"Take these as well." Soobin puts a basket of items to put back in their place after customers had failed to do so themselves. Kai nods and gets up after he is done with the gums, taking the handle of the red basket and dropping the items in their place as he strolls through the store.

He gets called to the register and checks out a couple buying a few bottles of beer. "Thank you," he recites. "Come again." And throws the paper receipt into the bin.

Soobin emerges from the storage room, ruffling his thick hair and tidying it on his head. He pulls his sleeves down and stifles a yawn. "Help me out here," he says and goes back to the storage room.

Nodding: even though Soobin can't see him, Kai walks to the storage room, wondering what Soobin needs of him. He enters through the curtain, making his way past the boxes. A can is shoved in his face. "Smell this." Soobin blinks. "Does it smell a little sour?" he asks. "I can't tell."

Kai raises his eyebrows and takes a whiff at the canned fruits. They smell delicious to him. "I don't think so." He takes another short inhale through his nose. Still nothing. "It's fine." He hands Soobin the can.

The older gives him another opened item, but this time it's packed pork, a microwave dinner. "What about this?" he gives him the small box. Again, Kai takes a small sniff but senses nothing wrong. It smells of braised meat. His mouth waters. He gives it back to Soobin. "Seems alright to me. Why do you ask?"

His shoulders bunch up in a shrug. "It's been here a while; I don't know whether to through it away or put it on the shelf. Could you give it a go and let me know?"

"Am I your lab rat?"

Soobin pouts. "Please?" he asks in a soft, pleading tone. "I have a presentation tomorrow, and I don't want to risk getting sick."

Whilst Kai would like to argue that he can't risk being sick too; it has been a few long hours since he had his mother's food and none of it sustained him enough to feel full. He eyes the braised pork; famished. "I guess I could." He agrees, if not only to help Soobin who does seem in need of it.

He breaks into a dimpled smile. "Thank you!" he squeals quietly and shakes Kai's shoulders in appreciation. "You're the best."

Kai puts the braised pork, straight from the cooler in the storage room and into the microwaves where he heats it for what hopefully is the right amount of time. He gives it a minute in the microwave before opening the door and taking the hot plastic box out. It smells of soy, sweet, and tangy. He gulps and pulls apart a pair of cheap, wooden chopsticks from the utensil rack on the counter.

He digs them in and grabs a sticky piece of pork, smelling it cautiously before popping it into his mouth. Kai sighs in delight, hoping Soobin hasn't heard him.

He eats quietly, picking up piece by piece. Cutting the grease in his mouth with the opened can of cocktail fruit mix, eating pineapples and peaches dunked in sugary syrup.

What Kai doesn't know, is that from behind the counter where Soobin sits; wrapping up the preparations for his presentation for college, he looks up once, smiling when he catches sight of Kai eating the dishes clean in the dining area. There was nothing wrong with them in the first place.

Kai throws the remnants of his unprompted meal. "Tastes fine, Hyung." He gives his opinion and Soobin hums. "Is that so? In that case, can you restock what's in the storage room on the shelf?" he requested. Too into his presentation to do so himself.

With a full and settled stomach, Kai nods. "Sure." Meanwhile, he does what Soobin asked, a few customers come for a late-night, munchies fix. He hears Soobin checking them out and greeting them goodbye.

Kai puts a hand over his mouth while yawning; he looks at the clock showing almost six in the morning. He finds it funny he ate dinner for an early breakfast, but he hardly can track his meals when his work schedule looks like so. Sometimes he drinks coffee at nighttime and dinner when the sun is already rising through the doors of the store.

Birds chirp outside, his shift will be over in an hour. He stacks the fruit cans on the shelf and rubs his hands on his tired eyes when he is done.

Kai sits on the footstool next to Soobin. "What are you studying?" he had never once expressed interest in something unrelated to the store and their work; though he had been polite when Soobin had expressed interest in him. So, he understands why Soobin looks at him with mild surprise, but a pleasant one.

"Oh." He clears his throat and closes the document he's working on. "In general?"

Kai nods; he can catch the early morning breeze from the opened window in the dining area.

"I'm majoring in teaching. I want to be a kinder garden teacher." He smiles bashfully and his dimples pop. "I don't know if I can, or if I'm right for it." He looks down at his closed laptop. "But I think I'd be happy working with kids."

"I think it suits you."

"Really?"

Kai nods once again. "You're calm and thoughtful. I'd made many mistakes, but you've explained what I was doing wrong and showed me the right way without making a fuss or making me feel bad for messing up." He takes a long breath, and it seems like he thought well over his wording before speaking. Kai pulls his nose. "Not that I have the brain capacity of a child, but it's nice to be treated that way. I'm sure kids need to be treated gently too."

"Hmm." Soobin's lips stretch into a grateful smile. He thinks Kai's words through, somewhat touched. From his limited time knowing Kai, he thinks the boy would not lie to him just to cheer him up or make him feel good. "I try to be considerate. I don't really believe in tough love." He tells Kai. "It does work, at times. But it's not worth the resentment that comes with the improvement."

The words resonate with Kai, he's never been too responsive to tough love. He doesn't think his parents know what tough love is, in fact, he thinks he's much more keen on using force wisely than they are. When necessary, of course. His environment was hard on him, but his parents never were.

His mom was nothing if not cradling and warm, he remembers his dad to be too pliant with everyone he meets, even to this day. Maybe it's one of the reasons he grew up gravitating towards people like Soobin; soft spoken like his parents and with good eyes that show into his heart.

Kai didn't know if he could rely on those eyes at first, but Soobin's actions talked more than that, and they said everything Kai needed to know to grow fond of the older and look forward to his night shifts with him. The tranquility and slowness of the job was something that he regularly craved now.

Most of the credit he gives to the company he's with. It wouldn't have been this peaceful with a superior that isn't Soobin. And he would not want to assume but he guesses Soobin likes his company too, or else he'd still be kind, but less friendly.

If he had a kinder garden teacher like Soobin, chances are that he might have still remembered him even during his adult life. One of those figures that leave an imprint.

"I hope it works out for you." He says. "You'd be great with kids."

A proud grin sneaks on Soobin's face. "I think so too." He yawns and buries his face in his hands. He opens his laptop again. "Could you grab me a cold brew from the fridge? I should finish this." He says and groans briefly.

Kai smiles subtly, amused. He gets up from the stool and fetches Soobin bottled coffee from the cold drinks section.

"Get yourself something too!" he hears the older yelling. He gets Soobin his coffee which seems needed. Then he returns to in front of the transparent refrigerators and takes his time picking something. He eventually goes for sustainability rather than taste, a protein milkshake with the largest calorie content among the drinks.

He does not mean to but after he tosses the empty bottle into the trash, having finished it all. Kai ends up drifting off on the stool, his eyelids heavy and wanting to close. He opens them after a few long seconds and looks at Soobin to see if he had noticed.

He didn't.

Kai tries to hold off for the next thirty minutes of his shift, pinching the skin of his thighs to avoid sluggishness. It's harder to remain energized when there isn't much to do at the store. He gets up and takes another stroll around, tidying what he can, doing everything but sit still and risk falling asleep.

The sound of typing from Soobin's computer stops and he closes it shut and slides it into his bag alongside its charger. Like Kai, he fights off sleep for the last minutes of the shift, ready for the shift exchange, waiting to go home and rest.

The bell of the door rings and a fresh breeze of wind follows with a tangerine scent carried with it. Kai peeks from the shelf blocking his view from the door. It must be Lee clocking in for the day shift. "Is Kai here?" the voice does not belong to Lee, whose voice is much more meek and high-pitched.

This person's voice is deep yet soft, but not meek, rather confident.   

A too-familiar whining sound brings his attention fully to the register. Soobin locks eyes with him. "Right there."

Kai walks over; face confused. Who could be asking for him this early in the morning? He's curious until he sees a brown fluff with a purple lease around its small neck. Brownie runs to him.

"Hey." Kai drops to the floor, catching the puppy in his hands. He looks up with surprise in his eyes. He's met with bright, almond eyes. Beomgyu waves over with an opened palm; smiling like a doofus.

Soft affection settles in Kai's chest. He can't help but smile back. "And hey to you too." He cradles Brownie in his hold and gets up with him licking him. "What are you doing here?"

 How does Beomgyu explain to Kai that he walked from the clinic, which is at least a forty-five-minute walk from West Park, all the way to the convenience store he knows Kai works at and did so without the guarantee of Kai even working that night?

All so that he can take Brownie, who hasn't slept all night to see his owner? And perhaps he also did that because he too wanted to see Kai. "Brownie wanted to take a walk." Sure, blame the poor dog. "Am I interrupting?"

Soobin smiles, giving Kai a knowing look. He waves Beomgyu's concern off. "Not at all." He answers in Kai's name. putting a pin into the fact that he must ask Kai later on what his deal is with the pretty customer from the other day. "By all means. Take him." He says as if Kai is an object to take out of his hand.

"Lee hasn't arrived yet?" Kai says as more of a question. Brownie puts his paw inside Kai's palm and Kai holds it mindlessly.

"I'll handle it until he gets here, you're dismissed for now." Soobin eyes the puppy. A fond smile grows on his face. He leans over the counter with his hand over his cheeks. "Who's that?" his voice pitches higher. He makes a funny face, and the dog approaches him and opens his mouth; heaving with his pink tongue out. "Is he yours?" he waves his hand to Brownie with the dog returns with a gleeful bark.

"Kai's more his than he is Kai's" Beomgyu laughs.

Kai stands up; a smudge embarrassed being put on the spot. "Can I really go?" Brownie claws at his jeans and Beomgyu pulls on his leash. "We don't do that," he scolds him for tearing a loose string from Kai's pants with his nails. "Bad dog."

After getting his permission, Kai thanks his Hyung for the night, and the drink. He grabs his old bag from the counter and bids Soobin a good day before leaving with Beomgyu and Brownie.

"I don't know if dropping on your shift was okay…" Beomgyu puts his hand in his sweatpants' pocket. His long hair is tied messily together but a few framing face pieces made him look even more delicate. "But I couldn't get Brownie to sleep. so, I thought playing with him might exhaust him to sleep."

"It's fine." Kai says but swallows a yawn. His eyes turn watery and he runs them dry. "We should head east, though." He pauses when Beomgyu passes him the leash. "Why are you giving me that?"

"We're taking Brownie on a walk." Beomgyu decides for him.

"Oh." Kai takes the leash with a certain hesitation. Brownie walk in front of him with his tail up, excited to be outside once again. "Okay." He agrees, despite the fact that he is falling asleep standing. Something about seeing the two makes him want to delay getting into bed.

He has a few hours, five to be exact, until he needs to be at the construction site for the rest of the day, he can make time, maybe an hour, before he leaves for his apartment to rest until then. And it's not like he's waiting with anticipation to sleep on his hard mattress, sticking to his back and fighting off mosquitoes that his beat-up window can't keep from flying inside.

He enjoys the air of the early morning, sharp yet not as cold as it is in winter-time. The perfect amount of refreshing. The wind is pleasant, not too warm not too chilly. They walk in silence, Beomgyu warning Brownie not to put things in his mouth such as stray rocks and branches.

Other than that, they're completely silent. But Kai enjoys that, the walking, the empty streets with the sun still rising, not fully shining yet.

They reach a park, far from West Park now. Kai relaxes more when he realizes that. They enter through the park's gates, accessible to everyone who wishes to enter.

The three of them walk through healthy-looking grass, dew drops on the leaves wetting their shoes. Not too much.

"What's in the pouch?"

Beomgyu's attention is brought to the black pouch hanging on his waist. "That," he says. Opening the zipper. "Is a bag for Brownie's snacks." He shows Kai the contents inside and picks a piece of dried meat. He hands it to him. "Want to try?"

Kai takes the piece and crouches down. Immediately, Brownie looks at him and attacks him with licks. "Hey… down boy, relax," Kai whispers, endeared but surprised by the enthusiasm. He looks up. "What- do I just give him the snack?"

"Ask for a paw."

"Brownie," Kai coos. "Paw." He requests, awkwardly so. He feels a bit ridiculous doing so since he's never trained or tried to train a puppy before. "Paw." He repeats. Brownie only jumps on him again.

He gets a little tug from the leash. "Brownie," Beomgyu calls, a bit more stern than Kai. "No jumping."

Brownie whines but takes a few steps back from Kai, giving his clothes a rest. Kai stares in awe of Beomgyu. "How?" he wonders.

"Tone… mostly. It does not matter what I say as long as I say it with confidence. I could've said Brownie, hocus pocus. It would have had the same effect." He explains and sits down on the moist grass. Beomgyu crosses his legs and looks at Brownie with his pretty brown eyes.

Kai has trouble paying attention when Beomgyu demonstrates how it needs to be done and gives Brownie a snack after he gives out his paw. "I see," Kai clears his throat, hiding the fact he barely listened. "Brownie, paw."

To his surprise, Brownie looks at him and contemplates for a few seconds. Just when Kai thinks he must have done it wrong, Brownie lifts his front leg and hands out his paw, which Kai grabs in his palm.

"Good job, Brownie!" Beomgyu praises. "Give him the snack."

Kai opens his other palm to uncover the dried meat. Brownie licks it out of his hand and chews. His ears go up in excitement. He runs in a circle with the wheel of the walking aid struggling to follow his movements.

"Good boy." Beomgyu pets his furry head, and Brownie drops to the ground and rolls on the long grass.

………………………….

Kai leans his back on a large tree stem, shifting slightly to accommodate his bruises. He winces slightly. He tosses the ball far away, watching how Brownie runs towards it with unmasked joy. "Isn't he too uncomfortable with the cast?"

"We do our best to make sure it doesn't restrict the puppies too much. But he'll run much faster once the cast is off." Beomgyu picks on the grass, rolling leaves between his hands, and occasionally slips a glance or two in Kai's direction. Unlike the other day, he wears a simple, short-sleeved white shirt that makes Beomgyu wonder if he's not even a little shivering since the morning chill has yet to pass.

He adjusts against the tree every few minutes, thinking Beomgyu does not notice his discomfort. But he does.

Beomgyu lays on the grass, stretching his legs. "It's dry now," he says. "You should lay down."

"Catch, Brownie." Kai tosses the, now coated in saliva, ball. He wipes his hand on his pants and looks at Beomgyu, the grass does seem much softer than the sharp bark of the tree.

No longer holding his yawn back; Kai shuffles away from the tree and lays down next to Beomgyu. He sighs, his back no longer in pain.  Brownie runs back, his sticked-out tongue hovering over Kai's face. "Good boy," Kai says softly.

He does not have the energy to raise his hand and toss again.

A few people accommodate the park now, parents with baby strollers, joggers with their headphones plugged in, and owners with their dogs for a morning walk. Kai's eyes drop naturally, too tired.

Brownie licks his cheek and settles on his chest, curling in himself and tucking his tail under his body. The walking aid pokes Kai on the side but he's too lethargic to do anything about it.

For a moment, he forgets Beomgyu is there. Or rather, he feels too comfortable to care. He's sleepy and the subconscious knowledge of Beomgyu being there makes it for his peace of mind. He falls asleep.

…………………………..

Carefully, Beomgyu slips Kai's bag under his head. He does so quietly, sneakily. But it seems there's no need for it because Kai sleeps like the dead. He hardly moves and lets Beomgyu adjust the bag until it's right.

He wonders just how tired he must have been to not even stir. Beomgyu sheds off his flannel over his long sleeve and drapes it over Kai's bare arms.

Brownie whines and digs his paw into Kai's stomach. "No," Beomgyu warns. He drags Brownie away gently. "Let your Kai sleep, he's tired." He whispers, taking the sulky puppy in his arms. "He's okay, he's sleeping." He tells him. "Come on," he gets up from the grass, brushing his palm on the bottom of his pants to clean any dirt from the grass that stuck to the fabric.

Even though Brownie had played outside for long, he still does not appear tired. "Let's run laps."

Chapter Text

A loud alarm blares from Kai's pocket. At first, Beomgyu thinks it's coming from somewhere else, a persistent beeping that occurs every half a second, it's maddening and all too loud.

But Kai sleeps unbothered by the sound. Even though Beomgyu would think no one could sleep through that high of a volume.

Even Brownie turns restless and irritable the more the sound resonates through the air.

Beomgyu assumes there would be no harm if he digs his hands through Kai's pocket and dismisses Kai's alarm for him. He pets Brownie. "It's just a phone." He says; even though the puppy can't understand him.

He searches in Kai's pockets. The boy had already rolled to his side, in deep sleep. He found the mobile phone, an old model, with a small screen and push buttons. Beomgyu had no idea they still sell those.

His thumb hovers over to swipe not knowing he needs to push the button. Force of habit, he had only used those phones in elementary school. But something catches his eye just as he's about to cancel the alarm. It's named work.  

Beomgyu pauses and looks at the peaceful position Kai's in. eyelashes fanning over his prominent cheekbones, chest going up and down steadily, one hand tucked between his legs. He sighs. "Kai… " It breaks something in him to wake the younger, and it's even harder doing so knowing he is after a night shift.

He decides to do it just to ask if he does need to wake up. Maybe the alarm was a fluke, and Kai had forgotten to turn it off. Beomgyu does not know for sure. "Kai." He repeats, shaking Kai's shoulders lightly. Then, he does so a little harsher when he gets no reaction.

He begins to worry, Brownie does too. He pushes him harder and this time, Kai opens his eyes a sliver. "Ugh." He grabs his shoulder, groaning before his back leaves the grass and he sits up leisurely. "What?" he mumbles.

Beomgyu waves the phone in his hand. The alarm still going off.

"Shit." Kai blurts out, passing his hand in his matted hair. The brief slip-up brings sourness to Beomgyu's face. Kai lets himself fall back on the grass and he looks up at the sky; contemplating his life.

He gives himself two seconds before rising back again. "Are you alright?" Beomgyu looks over with concern painted on his face. His eyebrows scrunched; his mouth curled down.

Kai takes a deep breath. "Yeah," he settles on responding. "Yes, I'm fine. I.. I should head to work." Something in his voice shifts. It's not drastic, but even so, Beomgyu differentiates it from the tone he previously heard. Before Kai fell asleep. It is lower, more reserved, and slower.

"Work?" Beomgyu asks before he is reminded that Kai once told his father that he works in construction. He never mentioned the store. "You have two jobs." He says as more of a fact than a question.

"Hmm." Kai smiles tightly. He stands up, Brownie clings to his side. Refusing the let go.

"Why two?"

"Because money doesn't grow on trees." Kai reaches out his hand and helps pull Beomgyu up as well. "Even if it did, it'd take time to pluck out a month's rent."

"Where do you work?"

"Thirty minutes away." Even saying so makes his legs sore. He should start walking, if he gets a few minutes early he would have time to buy a roll of kimbap and eat it before his shift begins.

Beomgyu attaches the leash to the small hoop in Brownie's collar. He straightens up. "In which direction?"

Kai points to their left and Beomgyu grins. "It's on the way to the clinic then." He does not know why this fact is exciting to him.

"Is that so?" Kai pockets his hands. "I'll walk you; this is a bad area to be alone anyway."

Again, Beomgyu does not know why Kai's words make him giddy; he'd convince himself Kai does this because he cares. Kai hands him the flannel used to cover him. "Did I sleep for that long?" he suddenly questions; seeing bashful and a little embarrassed as they begin to walk.

It's hard to believe eleven o'clock had come, he slept on the grass for nearly four hours, the warm, soft grass. He's been so tired, he could even sleep on nails if it was his only option. But sometimes he even takes himself by surprise. How could he have not woken up in four hours?

It dawns on him that the reason Beomgyu had stayed so long was perhaps because he felt bad leaving Kai alone.

Beomgyu laughs, covering his mouth with his hand. He should not do that, Kai thinks. His smile is endearing, it'd be a shame to cover it. "You knocked out pretty fast." he tugs on Brownie's leash when the puppy takes interest in a piece of bark. "Spit it, not good." He says, dragging Brownie away.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Kai scratches his nape.

"I was the one who dragged you outside at seven in the morning." Beomgyu's tone is light. "I should have known." He looks at his shoes and then glances up at Kai.

The other smiles. Beomgyu smiles back shyly.

After what feels like five minutes, although it's been longer. They reach the front of the clinic, faster than Beomgyu had expected. He hoped once they went inside, he could tuck Brownie into his cage and the puppy would sleep.

They stand face to face now; both knowing what to say. Kai ruffles his hair and stares at the ground. "So," he pockets his hand back in. "I had fun with you; even though- well- I slept most of the time."

Beomgyu laughs; equally as awkward. "Yes. But I had fun too." His laugh morphs into a lovely smile. That drops once he sees his friends standing on the curb on the other side of the street.

They whisper between themselves; throwing him looks and appearing as evil as ever.

Kai turns back; wondering what Beomgyu is looking at with such despair in his eyes. "Your friends, right? I saw them the other day."

"Yeah." Beomgyu sighs. "They're not really my friends, more like hyenas that I can't get rid of."

"They seem nice."

"Seem is the keyword here." He gives them a glare and Yeonjun sticks out his tongue.

"I better go," Kai says. "I'll…" he bites his lips. "I'll see you around?" he asks; hoping.

"Yes." Beomgyu's smile returns. He loops the leash in his hand without thinking. "Bye, Kai."

"Bye, Beomgyu."

"Kai?"

"Hmm?"

Beomgyu loops the leash again, a nervous habit. Good nervous. "Call me Hyung? I'm… I'm twenty-one."

"Oh." Kai stammers. He didn't know that and went with the assumption that they were the same age, or even, that Beomgyu was younger. Just because of the height difference. And size.

"Bye, Beomgyu Hyung." And it sounds sweet coming out of Kai's lips. Beomgyu smiles in delight. He waves Kai off with a warm feeling in his heart. Then the warm feeling ends when his friends cross the street.

He raises his hand to stop his friends from saying anything.

"Oh, no." Yeonjun sips his iced americano, and he and Taehyun follow Beomgyu into the clinic. "I'm not letting you off the hook this time." He grins with the straw at the corner of his mouth, peeking over Beomgyu's shoulder who's trying to run away from the conversation. "What was that just now? A date? An endeavor? A little dive and dip?"

"Oh my god, Hyung. No, I did not have sex with him." Beomgyu slips past the door to the back room where he grabs his bag from the couch and slings the strap over his back. he pats his thigh twice to catch Brownie's attention.

Yeonjun raises his hands. "I didn't say that."

"He didn't say that, he implied it." Taehyun chimes in. "And Hyung would never dine and dash."

"Is that the new dive and dip?" Yeonjun suddenly takes an interest in new slang; Following Beomgyu back to the front of the clinic.

He picks Brownie up and shows him to his cage. Beomgyu unhooks the leash and hangs it over the metal rack. "Can you both knock it off?"

"No."

"No."

They say together; the most irritating choir Beomgyu had heard. He throws his head back and groans.

"It's not every day we see you with someone." Taehyun crosses his hand on his chest. "What was that about?"

"So early in the morning," Yeonjun adds.

They step out of the clinic, walking the same route to college. "It was nothing. We just gave Brownie a walk and-"

"Brownie?"

Beomgyu nods. "The puppy."

"What's Brownie got to do with the hottie your dad hired?" Yeonjun questions. "And why-" A gasp from Taehyun turns both their heads back. he stood with his mouth open; prompting Yeonjun to pause whatever he was saying.

"The cashier," Taehyun exclaims. "I knew he looked familiar." He says in a calmer tone.

Yeonjun's eyes squint, and he tilts his head. "What cashier?"

"From West Park. Don't you remember?" Taehyun asks. "We made a bad turn," he tries jumpstarting Yeonjun's memory. "Beomgyu got the directions wrong, so we made him buy us ice cream." His tone is suggestive.

"Oh!" Yeonjun jumps up and down. "Oh!" he repeats; smacking Beomgyu's shoulder. "The cashier. you were ogling at him!" he accuses.

"I was not!" Beomgyu strongly denies it.

"Wait so, how did he end up working for Kwan?"

They ask way too many questions and Beomgyu knows there is no escape from that. They are always like this, the minute he expresses the slightest attraction to someone. But he never found the right person and at some point, he stopped trying.

For the longest time, his friends were on a mission to set him up but never managed to hit the bullseye. There was always an issue, and it was always Beomgyu who pointed it out.

He understands what a rare sight it is to see him with someone new; with someone other than the two of them. "I'll tell you in a second." If he must share the details, he needs to do it right.

…………………………….

He knew it'd been a mistake telling them. And Yeonjun's expression proves it further. He stirs his straw in his own drink, silent and not at all expecting his friends' comments on the matter.

"It all makes sense now." Yeonjun shakes his head and hops onto the campus couch in the lounge room, holding his coffee in his hand. "Typical of our Beomgyu." He leans on the armrest. "It's all it takes to woo you. Save a puppy? I can see it, it's late at night… suddenly, a mysterious boy comes with a hurt puppy in his hand. Help us. Okay, I can see the vision."

"Shut up."

"You're tending to his wounds; he looks all noble and kind. I don't blame you, it's a romance, straight from a book." He says dreamily. Looking up at the ceiling. He looks like a big idiot, Beomgyu thinks. "Ow!" he rubs his sore hand, pulling out of character.

"You deserved it." Taehyun justifies the sharp slap to his arm. "And I think what Yeonjun-Hyung meant to say, is, do you like him?" he raises a genuine question.

  Beomgyu shrugs.

Something sparks in Yeonjun's eyes, which can't mean anything good. They widen and he looks at Taehyun with a growing smile. "Barbeque." He speaks.

"Huh?"

"Invite him to barbeque night!"

"No." Beomgyu nips the idea in the bud, short and sharp.

Yeonjun's shoulders slump, lower than necessary, and Beomgyu knows the older is just acting dramatic like he usually does. "Why not?"

"Actually-" Taehyun leans on his chair. "It's not a bad idea… he already is familiar with your dad, and it'll give you the perfect excuse to see him again."

With Taehyun joining in on the proposition, Beomgyu is forced to think it through. There is a point in what Taehyun is saying but he wonders if it isn’t too early to throw Kai into the deep water, it meaning, getting to know his friends who are a bit more of a handful to handle. He's not sure how he feels when it comes to Kai, whether it's adoration for what he did or if the tightness in his chest means he's developing real feelings for the younger.

Not to mention the very real option that Kai is in no way interested in him.

"I don't know." He dangles his feet from where they hover over the floor. He stands up. "Do you think it's a good idea? Be serious though." He adds the last bit of the sentence mostly for Yeonjun.

"I'm so serious." The blond says. "More serious than serious, I'm the seriousests-set-nessly."

Beomgyu blinks. "Alright… " he drags the word long. "And you?"

"Tell him to bring someone," Taehyun suggests when the attention is directed at him, as well as two pairs of eyes that belong to the two stupidest people he knows. "A friend. If it'll be too awkward for him to be around just the three of us."

"Right." Yeonjun nods. "Oh!" he claps his hands. "Tell him to bring that tall guy, dimples, bunny smile. Please!" he shakes Beomgyu's hands. "Please, Beomie?? Would you?"

"I'll be sure to mention dimples and height when I see him again."

……………………………….

A red and black, checkered pattern blanket. Kai looks at Soobin; wondering what the meaning of it is. "Storage room." He shoves the blanket into Kai's hands. "I'll wake you if there's a rush."

They both know there is never a rush during night shifts, and according to Soobin, no inventory today too. Kai does not know whether he's lying to him or not to make him cave in.

His body hurts, more than usual, the back-to-back shifts taking a toll that his body crumples under more and more. He had to have known when he shuffled his feet to the front of the store, dark eye bags dragging his face down and giving him a sickly essence, that Soobin was going to take one look at him and send him to the back.

Still, he tries to argue that he is more than capable of working. However, it works poorly, and Soobin shoos him off anyway.

He accepts the blanket with a grateful crinkle of his eyes. The reason for Soobin's kindness is still unclear to him when the older can just as well hire someone that would, truthfully, be able to work.

Kai knows him juggling two jobs clearly is not working. For this reason, among many others, If Soobin hadn't been lenient, and hadn't paid attention, then sooner or later Kai would have passed out while behind the counter, or meanwhile restocking the shelves and mopping the floor.

He leaves here and only has so much time before twelve hours of physically demeaning work, before coming back looking like the rug they mop the floor of the store with.

Soobin could have simply not cared and asked Kai to do the job he is paid for, by the hour. But for some reason, he does not. It is the only reason Kai still manages to hold onto both jobs is because Soobin shows him nothing but kindness and understanding.

Sometimes, he feels bad. As if he's taking the place of someone who can truly be of help in the store. As if. He in the literal sense, is in fact, getting paid to do nothing but sleep. when he is expected to work.

He wonders if it's somehow similar to stealing from Soobin. He hopes the older doesn't think that he's deliberately taking advantage of his kindness.

"Let me do something." He insists. "I can clean the tables, or… I will sweep the floors. Then, if there really isn't anything to do, I'll go to the back."

"Kai. You can barely stand."

They were lifting logs today. He tripped on his bad footing and rammed his legs into a metal rod. It was the end of the shift, and he knew if he would complain about the ache, he would be sent to his boss's office.

He did not want to take the risk even if that meant leaving the gash in his leg untreated. It was not as bad of a hit but now he feels it along with the soreness in his back that blooms every time he moves it haphazardly.

"I need to do something. At least let me clock out, don't pay me for those hours. It's not right."

"It's right if I say it is," Soobin argues; seemingly not letting this go, not tonight. Kai wonders if he appears to be as drained as he feels for Soobin to put his foot down like that. "I don't like seeing you like this," he says. It's only been a few months since he hired Kai but he reminded him of a little kid and it comes in a painful contrast to the amount of pressure his shoulders are under.

He does not need to know every detail, or every little thing Kai does in his day-to-day to know how much he needs that rest, just by the slump of his shoulder and the limping of his leg.

It's not all days, but some days he sees Kai and something in the way he acts is different, more reserved, more hesitant. He's been trying to put his fingers on what it reminds him of, that behavior.

It's the same as when you creep on someone, silently, and then you go boo! And they yell, it's not exactly that moment, but the few following that jolting feeling. Some days Kai looks as if he's just waiting for the boo! Looking over his shoulder, rubbing his hands together, his body wound up and ready. For what? Just ready.

Today is one of those days. "Come on, I won't ask again."

Kai sighs and his teeth gnaw on his bottom lip. He clutches the blanket close to his body. "'Kay… " he moves away; giving Soobin a small, tired smile. "Thank you, Hyung." He says with a little guilt and shame in his voice.

"It's not even close to being a problem, Kai. Take care of yourself."

……………………..

At around seven, Soobin checks out the last customer of his and Kai's shift. Lee arrives just in time, if not two minutes earlier. He tells him Kai is off, packing shipments returns in the storage room.

Of course, he could tell him the truth but he thinks it would raise questions and he does not wish to deal with drama between his workers. Is he giving Kai special treatment? Yes. Will he apologize for it? No. does he want Lee to know? Absolutely not.

He climbs off the tall stool that due to his height is just a regular stool to him. "I'll call him." He says while Lee already puts his fingers on the reader and clocks himself into the system.

Soobin walks to the storage room; pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his head. He swallows a yawn but hears a ringing from over the storage room curtains. He passes through.

"Sir," Kai gets up from the floor slowly; his face tells Soobin that he is blindsided by the call, or maybe he's fighting off sleep from having just woken up. "Yes. Now?" fear strikes his features.

He stands up, swaying before looking ahead. His eyebrows knit when he sees Soobin looking back at him.

Soobin tilts his head as if to ask who he is talking to.

"I…-" he speaks to the phone, his tone; stressed. He grabs his hair. "Yeah, I'll be there. Until when?... I see… I'll- Okay." He agrees in a reluctant resolve. "Okay." He says quietly and hangs up the phone; closing his eyes momentarily.

"Kai?"

"I need to go; what time is it?" he asks but checks his phone before Soobin can answer. His face hardens when he looks at the time but softens when his eyes return to Soobin. "I'm sorry," his lips curl down. "Thank you, Hyung." He expresses candidly. He grabs his bag. "Just-" he sighs. "Thank you."

He leaves shortly after; Soobin eyeing him from through the glass doors of the store. He watches as the young boy dashes across the street with the bag on his back. he wonders who was on the other line.

…………………………..

He straps on gloves, thick over his knuckles for maximum protection. Buckling the heavy helmet over his head, he jogs to his assigned area.

The loud and consistent banging makes his head ache. Someone passes him a metal box and Kai climbs over the delicate railing, fast so he's not at risk of it collapsing under him. He jumps and hooks his hands over the wall; hoisting himself up on the edge of the structure. It takes immense core strength but he does so effortlessly apart from the pain in his lower back.

Helvar tosses him a belt which he tightens around his waist then attaches a long rope with a hook at the end of it on his belt, and locks it. He checks to see whether it would hold his weight and it does.

He tucks the black box under his arm and uses his other one to hold it as he steps over the metal rod, higher on the structure. He gives Key the rope attached to his belt and the older ties it tight around a large pole. He gives Kai the okay.

Kai opens the black box, stacks upon stacks of thin rope lying in the box. He takes one stack and opens it, detangling the meters of rope. He begins the methodical and Sisyphean task of looping the ropes over and under the hundreds of wooden logs integrated within the base of the building.

He loops the rope carefully, pulling them under and placing them over, tying small yet effective knots, like a harness over the logs.

Kai finds that his job is slightly more tolerable during the early morning when the sun has yet to rise and he does not have to deal with wiping his sweat every few minutes and fear his skin might burn from the strong UV exposure.

However, the brush of wind and relief from the scorching sun does not last long and by the time he is done with the first row of logs, the sun fully sets.

Hanging by the rope tied to the poll, Kai jumps off of the structure and adjusts the length of the rope, dropping himself down until he's faced with the second row. Dangling in the air, he places the box on one folded knee over the building; balancing it to the best of his abilities.

He resumes the ropework, tying every knot with care and grave concentration.

……………………………….

To say Beomgyu is mesmerized beyond compare, would be an understatement. To say he's surprised would be the same. He must clock the sun with his hand over his forehead to be able to spot Kai among the other orange vest-wearing guys.

It isn’t exactly what he had in mind when Kai said he worked in construction, he thought maybe he was in charge of putting stop signs on the street or maybe painting the lines over sidewalks is that considered construction work? He is not entirely certain.

What he does know, is that he did not expect the nineteen-year-old to work in an actual construction site. It's only in the beginning stages but it does look like a cluster of buildings, or maybe even a mall or a cinema of sorts. The site itself is huge, and just from looking in one angle, Beomgyu does not see where it ends or where it starts.

Under his estimate, Kai is maybe 3 or 4 meters over the ground, which in itself makes Beomgyu shift from one leg to the other in worry. The only thing that holds him is a brown rope.

His arms are bare; it's the first time he's seen Kai in a simple white sleeveless top and he must say, the hoodies and short-sleeved shirts do not do his body justice. The thick orange vest only highlights the broadness of his upper body.

"Do you think he'll pop a boner if we stay here for long enough?"

Beomgyu turns to his friends and kicks him on the shin. "Hey!" Yeonjun bends; having to yell to be heard over the banging of metal against the ground and the beeping sound of the bulldozer. "It was a general wonderment." His face scrunches in pain as he rubs his leg.

Beomgyu can see the sheen of sweat on Kai's skin from where he's standing and it's not doing him any good. He tears his eyes away.

"How did you know where he works!?" Taehyun opts for yelling as well.

"I don't." Beomgyu suddenly feels like a stalker. "The only construction site that's 10 minutes away from our clinic is this one."

"Call him over!"

Taehyun rolls his eyes in response to Yeonjun's request. "I think he's busy." He gestures with his hands towards their friend's new crush. "As you can see…" he blinks, squinting his eyes. "…Is the rope supposed to swing like that?"

A loud gasp leaves Beomgyu's lips, a hand coming to cover his mouth in shock. The rope disconnects from Kai's belt, and he drops down, fast. it is almost surreal to see the drop. Something drops with him, something black that opens midair, spilling its contents all over.

Kai grabs a metal wire at the very last second, swinging his legs over the empty spaces between the logs. "Oh my god." Beomgyu exhales. Kai yells something; they cannot hear him; they can only see his expression from under the helmet.

He hangs on the wire and pulls himself up a few inches. There is a crowd beneath him, panicking. It is challenging to get a read on the scene from the place where Beomgyu and his friends stand.

The engine of the bulldozer halts and suddenly they are able to hear themselves.

There's intelligible yelling still; mostly because everyone yells in complete disorder. Beomgyu wonders if Kai can understand any of it. They throw him a rope which he takes with his two fists, climbing slowly to the top while wrapping his ankles in the rope for a nicer grip.

When he reaches the top, a couple of guys reach out their hands and pull him over the roof with ease. But he does not seem at all relieved. He starts arguing with them.

"Maybe we should go." The scene rattled Beomgyu more than he wanted to admit. He simply does not wish to stay. "I'll… talk to him some other time,"

He says that, but something in him stays standing. Kai climbs down from the structure, striking a conversation; or rather, yelling at someone a few decades older than him. What Beomgyu assumes is the contractor, yells at him back.

Kai shakes his gloves off, throwing them on the ground. He huffs, his hair flying back as he takes his helmet off. He grabs his shoulder and digs his fingers in the sore spot, massaging it as he walks.

Towards them.

"Too late." Yeonjun blurts out. "Abort operation barbeque??"

It is safe to say Beomgyu is freaking out. He clasps his hands in front of his body and freezes when Kai's eyes scan the street and find him. He slows down; anger and frustration morphing into surprise.

His eyes dart from Beomgyu to the familiar, but then again, not-so-familiar guys beside him. He remembers them vaguely, a loud guy and a quitter one bickering in the background of the clinic's back room.

He does not remember much from that day but the beating he took in his boss's office.

Beomgyu raises his hand; robotically so. He almost flings it in the air statically, plastering a lopsided smile. "Um. Hi." He swallows. It's a mystery why he feels this nervous in front of Kai, afraid of messing up; and saying the wrong thing.

"Hyung." Kai stops a few steps from them. He makes a low-effort bow to address Yeonjun and Taehyun.

"Are you okay?" Yeonjun expresses concern out of his normal character. "Seemed like a scary drop."

Kai nods. "Mishaps happen, I learned to brush it away." He makes a tight smile. "I'm fine, though. What are you doing here, Beomgyu-Hyung?"

Taehyun pushes Beomgyu slightly in Kai's direction. His palm on his back; ushering him encouragingly.

Beomgyu feels like a high schooler again. He glares at his friend from behind his shoulder, looking ahead again. "I, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over… we're having a barbeque dinner tomorrow. And so, I thought-" he takes a deep breath.

Kai smiles. "You thought?" he teases subtly. Beomgyu's eyes widened. He clears his throat. "I thought it'd be fun if you were… there?" it comes out more of a question, Beomgyu cringes internally.

"Tomorrow night?"

"Kai!"

The young boy looks back in the direction of the yell, his demeanor changes in an instant. He turns back, his smile is gone. "I'll let you know; I have to go." He turns on his heels.

"Oh." Beomgyu waves. "Okay, Bye!"

"Bye, Hyung!"

"Bye!" He gets a smack on the back of his head from Taehyun. "You already said that." He points out.

"Right." Beomgyu turns around. They begin walking away "So, that went well?"

"Define… well."

"It went fine, Hyung," Taehyun reassures him, even though it was an awkward sight for them all.

Fast footsteps catch up behind them. They walk still; unbothered. Making fun of Beomgyu. "Wait!"

They turn around. If the footsteps did not do it, Kai's voice does. They stop and Beomgyu's surprised to see Kai running towards them only a few moments after he had already left. He stops as well, panting slightly. "I… I forgot to ask for your phone number. So, I can contact you."

Yeonjun stifles a laugh. Taehyun warns him to be quiet with an elbow to his side.   

Shuffling through his clothes; Kai fishes his mobile phone out of his vest and hands it over to Flustered Beomgyu. The almond-eyed boy takes it with dusted pink cheeks that go up in a smile. Their hands brush as the phone is being passed around.

Beomgyu punches the digits on his number into the new contact info on Kai's phone. "Here." He says in a sweetened voice that makes Taehyun and Yeonjun exchange disgusted looks.

"I'll give you a call, then."

Beomgyu nods. "Bye." He waves Kai off again, and when the younger is gone, he turns to his friend. "Kai asked for my number." He informs in a squeaky, thrilled voice.

"We saw." Taehyun deadpans. "We were here. In case staring at Kai's face has made you forget that."

"Kai asked for my number, and he took it," Beomgyu repeats, jumping up and down. His ears are bright red.

"Again." Yeonjun puts a hand on Beomgyu's shoulder as they head back to campus. "We saw."

"That went well, then." Beomgyu decides. "Right?"

"Considering this the first time I saw you swoon over someone, you remained somewhat contained."

Yeonjun snorts. "Very demure." He cannot help himself but say.

"It was for sure something, but it wasn’t demure."

Chapter Text

Beomgyu is by no means waiting for his phone to ring, not at all. He just likes checking it, in case he gets a text from the bank, or the mail about the things he ordered online, updates about his phone, and others. But certainly not for a call.

He spends the entire morning glancing at his phone every few seconds. He even checked if it was on silence by accident, for, unfortunately, it was not.

"Meet me at aisle three." His dad leaves him with the cart and goes to grab chilly pepper and chives for the meat skewers.

Beomgyu pushes the grocery cart to the butcher, reading from a note his dad gave him, the different kinds of meats and cuts that they would need for tonight. The employee behind the counter packs his things in white paper wrap and plastic bags. Beomgyu takes the heavy bags and thanks the butcher.

He strolls through the aisle, picking out his favorite instant ramen from the shelf and putting it in the cart along with the rest of the items.

Beomgyu moves to aisle three, seeing his dad contemplating on which dipping sauces to get. "Ssamjang, ssamjang." He sings, taking a small container of his favorite sauce.

Kwan takes green leaves for Taehyun to wrap the beef in and stem kimchi for Yeonjun since he enjoys it when it leaves the grill, tasting of beef oil and spices.  

When they're packing their things at the register, his dad pulls out his card to pay. Miraculously, but also, not so much. His phone rings.

Beomgyu drops the soda on the floor, fumbling for his phone. Kwan gives his son a weird look and apologizes to the people in the line behind them for the hold-up, picking the soda bottle from the floor.

"Hello?"

"Beomgyu-Hyung?"

Beomgyu bites the skin around his nail. "Hey, how are you?"

"Good, you? Did you sleep well?"

"I did."

"Does your invitation for tonight still stand?…."

"Yes!" Beomgyu exclaims, then covers his mouth and looks around, realizing belatedly that he is in a public place. He pulls the phone away from his ear. "I'll be outside." He tells his father and Kwan nods, wondering what is the cause for his son's weird behavior.

"Then, when should I come?"

Beomgyu hops from one leg to the other. He's not sure if he's warm because he stepped out of the freezing cold market into the bare sun, or due to some other reason. "Around seven-ish… if that's okay. And, you can bring your friend as well. If you want."

"My friend?"

"Tall. Dimples."

Kai laughs. "I'll think about it."

"Okay."

"Okay." Kai parrots. "See you tonight."

Beomgyu hums sweetly. "Hmm. See you."

………………………………..

He puts his things into his locker and takes advantage of the fact that the showers in the changing room have far stronger water pressure than the shower in his apartment. Kai stands under the steaming faucet, he tilts his head back, letting the water wash the fine dust and dirt that had collected on his tanned skin.

He breathes in the steam, pops the shampoo bottle open, and foams it between his hands before he scrubs his hair well.

Kai takes a white towel from the rack, wrapping it around his lower body. He puts the clothes he clocked in wearing, back on.

"Sir." He passes his boss's office with his bag on his back; his hair is still damp from the water. "Thank you for giving me the evening off." It hurts him to thank the man, but he also knows his boss has too much pride to let him leave the site without expressing his gratitude like a proper employee.

It took convincing, Kai would not lie. There is not much flexibility in his line of work, everyone is needed and the absence of one worker can slow the others down. But to his defense, and probably the only reason his boss had been reluctant to grant him a few hours off, was because he had been working day after day for longer than a year now.

He had taken a sick day or even asked someone to cover for him, and by government rules, it is forced upon his superiors to grant his request. Still, he thanks him even though he knows he did not do it out of goodwill, but sheer obligation. But if he wanted to be treated like a saint for it, then Kai could play that game.

"It's two hours for every hour you miss." His boss reminds him not so tactfully.

"I know," Kai says., and for the most part, he's fine with it even though returning to the site after dinner isn't something he's too excited about. "Still, thank you. Have a good day Sir," please, by all means, have the day you deserve Is what Kai really wanted to say.

His boss nods. "Go now."

…………………………….

He rarely goes out and when he does, it's for work. So, Kai can't be too surprised that he does not have proper wear other than basic shirts and ripped-off pants he got at a Goodwill store. Fever strikes him.

He does not even have much stuff to throw around in an attempt to find something nice to wear for tonight, because he only has so many clothes that are not enough to be called a closet, but a clutter of fabric.

Dropping to the floor in despair, Kai grabs his hair in his fingers and pulls. He can't go out like this let alone for a dinner he was invited to.

If he doubted why he had stirred clear from making friends, this was it. The need to impress people with his meager means.

It started with the clothes, sure, he has nothing nice to wear but he has clothes to cover his body so it should be enough. But the clothes are just an excuse, a little something to roll the growing snowball labeled I am not enough.

He only has himself to show for, and even he is not too impressive. Does not have much to offer.

It's too late to cancel dinner, but the more time passes the more he becomes unsure of himself. In a spur-of-last effort to appear somewhat worthy in someone's eyes. The someone he said yes to just because it was him.

He calls Soobin.

"Hello?"

"Hyung."

"What's up?" Soobin's tone is soft even through the phone.

Kai paces back and forth in the square he has for an apartment. "I need your help…"

"Sure, what is it?"

"I… have- uh- no clothes. I mean- I have clothes, but-"

"But you want to impress Beomgyu?" Soobin guesses and hits on the nail perfectly. Kai groans into his palm. "It's not like that, Hyung."

"Yeah, I've heard that excuse before." He sounds amused. "Come over, I might have something for you."

"Really?"

"Sure, lover-boy. Let's get you dolled up."

...................................

An hour and a half later, he stands in Soobin's living room, which is much more living-friendly than his. Soobin lends him a black dress shirt and even though it is a little tight around his arms, it fits nicely everywhere else.

He cocks an eyebrow when Soobin passes him a pair of pants as well. He looks down at his pants, plain black, loose but tied around the waist sweatpants. "Oh."

Soobin laughs. "You better change those too."

The dress shift with the old sweatpants makes for a laughable pairing. He thanks Soobin once again and goes back to the elder's room to change his bottoms into a dark gray, subtly striped with lighter gray dress pants.

Thankfully, due to their similar height, it fits him well lengthwise, and he thinks it must be loose on Soobin because it sits snugly on him. It feels weird, he hopes it would not give the impression that he is trying too hard.

Although looking at the facts, he is. He never cared too much what others thought of him because he had nothing to prove but he's stressed now and he is not sure why. It seems like no matter how he shows up, inside he would forever feel like he is trying to blend with the wrong crowd.

As much as he despises West Park, he does not need to try hard to fit in, he is the demographic picture of the population there. Minus the crimes and drugs.

Soobin lets out a little impressed whistle when Kai emerges from the room. "Now, if I were Beomgyu, I'd let you bag me."

Kai's cheeks burn up. "He doesn't like me like that, Hyung." He mutters. "It was just a friendly invite."

"If you say so."

"Do…" Kai pauses. "Do you think he's into me?"

"I think I have eyes," Soobin replies. "And Beomgyu also has eyes that do not do much other than gawk at you. And, considering he stopped by the store at seven in the morning to-" he adds air quotes, and Kai's now cosplaying a tomato. "-                                   Walk your puppy," his tone is just slightly sarcastic. "I'd say tonight is a ploy to see you, and I'm going to be there for emotional support."

Kai opens his mouth.

"Which-" Soobin gets ahead of him. "I totally don't mind because of free food and beer. Plus, from the looks of it, you are going to need emotional support, and not to brag, but I'm quite good at it."

Kai only hums in return, which is weird. He fidgets with the belt of the pair of pants he wears with a concerned expression.

"Are you okay?"

"I've never…" Kai hesitates. Maybe he shouldn't, maybe Soobin would think he's odd. He tries to find the words, maybe if he could explain it properly, Soobin would understand. He looks at his, dare he say, new friend. Or so Kai hopes. And Soobin looks at him back with an expression that is a mix of curiosity and encouragement. "Had… "

"You've never had what?"

"Someone." Kai spews. "I mean- I was never in a relationship; I had never had the time to pursue anyone."

Soobin smiles. "And that changes things, how exactly?"

"I don't know." Kai shuffles. "Isn't that weird?"

"I guess I know why you feel awkward now, but it's normal. You feel giddy."

"I'm going to throw up." He admits. Soobin only chuckles. "What if I say something wrong? Or, what if…" he bites the dead skin off his lips. What if he finds out I have nothing.

"Seems like I'm needed sooner than I thought," Soobin mumbles to himself. He walks over and grabs Kai by the shoulder, shaking the boy aggressively. "Listen," he looks into Kai's confused eyes. "Beomgyu already likes you. As long as you won't come out as a serial killer during dinner, you'll be just fine."

Kai wonders if being a serial killer is better than being poor. If he were a hitman at least he'd have money to live on, and a good apartment to trade the box he lives in.  he thinks about the things he won't be able to do, like buy flowers for his partner or gifts for their birthdays and anniversaries.

He never truly thought about how limited he is when it comes to being with someone because he was never interested in anything like that. He only worked towards paying the bills, saving as much as possible. Make a living. He can barely afford himself let alone someone else.

He's at a disadvantage, a big one. There is a risk to take when someone decides to date a person like Kai. It means giving up on things and settling down. It is not just about Beomgyu, but anyone who he'd dare to want.

He can't afford dating, it's not something people of his class can let themselves have.

Forget money, gifts, and financial support. He does not have time. His nights are full, twelve hours of his day he's cooped up in the construction site, and even this evening is costing him 3 more hours of work. It can't be sustained.

He can't even give someone the most basic thing, time.

"Kai?"

"Maybe we shouldn't go." If he cannot give him that, then why even bother? His eyes prickle.

Soobin observes him with care. "Kai," his voice is much more serious and gentler than it was a few seconds ago. "What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing… " Kai defenses.

"What are you so afraid of?"

Kai shakes his head. "Nothing, Hyung."

"You want to go, Kai," Soobin states a fact. "You like Beomgyu too, I saw it on your face from the moment he walked up to you in the store, what's this about?"

"He deserves more, Hyung." Kai swallows. "Someone who has… more. Not me." He speaks those words he had been thinking only in his head and for some reason, it hurts more to admit to his worries aloud than to think of them in his mind.

He regrets saying those as soon as he does. He feels embarrassed to look at Soobin after he has spoken, he had promised himself to never burden others with his problems and now he did in front of someone he still does not know very well. This has been a mistake.

A pair of long arms hug him tight; a warn brotherly hug he never had someone give him. Soobin pats his back gently. "I didn't know that's how you have felt." He says. "But you already have more than enough."

Kai sniffles. "I do?" he asks in a choked voice.

"You are hard-working, Kai. You're honest and strong. What more could Beomgyu want?"

He shrugs, dropping his head onto Soobin's shoulders. "More. Just more."

"Money means nothing if it does not come with kindness, Kai. And you have plenty."

Kai does not doubt or dwell on the fact that Soobin knew exactly the thing he was insecure about without him saying it. But then again, it isn't too hard to guess by Kai's clothes, the fact he eats mostly nothing unless you give it to him, Soobin rarely witnessed Kai buying anything for himself other than water.

The answer writes itself and he did not need to look very hard to read Kai's situation either.

……………………..

As they walk to the front of the house, that according to Soobin's navigation app, is the right address that Beomgyu gave Kai. Kai nudges Soobin with his elbow gently.

Soobin turns his head to him. "Thank you," Kai says. "For the clothes… and the pep talk."

Soobin nudges him back with a silly smile. "You're welcome. Told you I'm a great emotional support."

Kai knocks on the door three times and retracts his hand. They hear shuffling and talking from inside the house and by the voices, they are definitely in the right place.

The door opens. "Hey." Beomgyu stands in front of them; flushed and sending angry glares to someone behind the wall.

He's dressed in a white shirt and a fluffy black vest over it that makes him look soft and huggable. His hair resembles a ball of tapioca, fluffed out, and makes his head overall look like a round ball of chocolate.

His pants are gray and blue, checkered and loose but tight around his waist. Wow. Kai looks over so he does not come off looking like a freak. "Hey," Soobin replies for him after seeing his friend has lost the ability to form words. "Forgive him, he thinks you look good."

Kai turns to him with a scandalized look as if to say why would you expose me like that? Soobin shrugs.

But when he looks ahead, he sees a smile on Beomgyu's face, half of it is endeared, half amused. "You look great too." He says, a pretty flush of pink on his cheeks, giving them a rosy tint. "Come in." he invites them.

They take off their shoes at the entrance and Beomgyu shows them where they can find pairs of home slippers to slide their feet into.

The smell of smoked meat hangs in the air, making Kai take a few deep inhales just to know what delicacies wait for his stomach. he gulps and follows Beomgyu to the roof where the others must already be sitting.

Beomgyu opens the door leading to the roof. The whole house feels warm and cozy but if Kai had to point out his favorite place, it'd be the roof. It's decorated with lights, not for the occasion but it seems the lights have been there for at least a few months. So, it always looks magical, Kai thinks.

It overlooks the peaceful street. If Kai had a view from his apartment it would overview the homeless sleeping in the front of the building, the group of guys warming their heroine of a metal spoon, bunched up in the corner of the alley to avoid being seen. And it'll smell like piss and weed.

Beomgyu and his father's roof overlooks a few stores nearby, people going back from work to their homes, and it smells like mint leaves and oranges.

"What about Miss Laura?"

Taehyun lets out an awed hum, his eyes growing wide. "Laura's pretty!" he agrees. "Should we set you up with her?"

Kwan fans the grill, shaking his head; slowly losing hope. "Boys, I'm fine. No need to set me up with anyone… "

The two boys' excitement goes down, they just look at each other silently and then Yeonjun clicks his fingers. "The flower lady across the street."

Taehyun nods. "Perfect, and… she has a dog." He says. "Or, I've seen her with a dog and It might not be hers but at least we know she likes dogs."

Sighing, Kwan turns around, his apron stained with spices and coal. His face brightens when he sees Beomgyu and his friends have arrived. "Finally," he exclaims. "Beomgyu, tell these rascals to stop tormenting me. Kai," he wipes his hands on his yellow apron with prints of baguettes on it and the Eiffel Tower. "It's great to see you."

They shake hands. "Great to see you too, Sir," Kai replies with at most politeness.

"Oh, please, call my Kwan. Who's your friend?"

Kai turns to introduce Soobin but the older already seems like he has it under control. He flashes a dimpled smile and shakes Kwan's reached-out hand. "I'm Soobin, I work with Kai."

"He's my boss," Kai adds.

"Well," Soobin takes back his hand. "Technically, yes… but not really." He laughs.

Kwan smiles back. "Well, it's good to have you here. Please, sit down." He gestures at the low table, where Taehyun and Yeonjun whom Kai had already met, sit around, talking between themselves.

"Can I help with something?" Kai asks before Kwan has the chance to return to the grill where the meat sizzles deliciously.

Even if Soobin wanted to help as well, he could not have. The minute Yeonjun turns around to see who Beomgyu had brought with him, he leans into Taehyun's ear and whispers. Dibs. To which Taehyun laughs briefly and rolls his eyes whilst shaking his hand.

The blond gets up and clears his throat. "Hi, Soobin, right?"

Meanwhile, Kwan leads Kai to the makeshift skewer station where he gives the young boy a plate of marinated beef and a plate of vegetables, showing him how to put them in order on the skewer.

"Right." Soobin smiles. "You must be Yeonjun, I think we've met once-" he blinks and grows quiet when Yeonjun sticks his finger in his dimple. "In the store…?" he completes his sentence in utter confusion.

Yeonjun's finger is still poked in his face. "Sorry." He does not look sorry at all. "I just know I'll regret it later if I didn't." his hand drops.

"That's fine?"

"Your cheeks are soft," Yeonjun says as a matter of fact. He sits back down. "Sit next to me."

Beomgyu turns around, looking at Soobin with a look that says I'm sorry for you. "Just do it." He gives Soobin a piece of advice. "He won't leave you alone if you don't."

Not like anybody's giving him a choice, he does end up sitting next to the strange human who poked his pretty long finger in his cheek. He catches Beomgyu staring at Kai and he grins fondly.

"You're in our college, aren't you?" Yeonjun pesters. "How have we not crossed paths yet?"

"Well, our building is distant from the rest of the campus. Which is a shame." His major does not blend with the rest of the majors because most of the students studying teaching are reserved and quieter than most. Not to mention they never have any classes with the rest of the majors which makes them a secluded group. "How do you know we're on the same campus?"

"You wore a hoodie with the college symbol on it," Yeonjun says. It could have belonged to someone Soobin knows, like a relative or a partner, even. But Yeonjun assumed, or rather, wanted it to be Soobin's. "So, I figured."

"Oh."

"Are you single?"

"Huh?"

Beomgyu throws a cut-up carrot at Yeonjun. His face is both shocked and embarrassed. "Hyung." He whisper-yells. "You're scaring them away!"

Yeonjun picks the carrot from his hoodie and looks at Soobin, smiling slowly. He leans over. "I'm not scary. Am I, Soobin-ah?"

"Um."

"So, are you?"

It is visible that Soobin's brain is shutting down which is painful to witness as it is, but then it goes through a minor stroke and he just stares into space for a few seconds until he gets up. "I'm going to help Kai, with the skewers." He flees when he can and breathes in relief when he's beside Kai.

Beomgyu gives Yeonjun an indecent look.

Yeonjun shrugs, munching on the carrot. "What?" he says with an innocent-looking grin.

"Just what on earth is the matter with you?"

………………………….

The table is slowly filled with side dishes, from cold noodles to hot ramen, potato salad, radishes, and kimchi. Cabbage kimchi, green leaf kimchi, green onion kimchi, and perilla leaves. Tiny little plates of sauces Kai has both seen and never got to taste or has never seen before like a red dip with green chilies diced thinly in it.

He wonders if it is spicy. Regardless, he feels frozen in place with his chopstick while everyone digs in. he's not sure where to start and on top of it all, Kwan comes back to the table with a large tray of steaming, fresh-out-of-grill beef, and pork belly, meat skewers and braised wings.

Kai is both overwhelmed and in awe. The only times he had seen such a variety of foods was when he worked as a waitress in a local, family-owned restaurant that serves authentic Chinese cuisine.

He wants to go straight for the meant but maybe then he'd look greedy, or impatient. Worst, desperate. He picks up a piece of potato instead. Unsure why he picked that, it was the closest thing to his mother's cooking that he knew among the foods on the table.

Yeonjun is the first to approach to tray of food, grabbing himself a piece of pork and wrapping it skillfully in a seasoned cabbage leaf. He takes it in one bite while talking with his mouth full, complaining about his professor. "Woah," he gives Kwan a thumbs up. "Better than last time, seriously."  

Kwan, busy on the grill once again, cutting up some steak, looks back with pride, ushering them to eat more before the second round. Kai salivates while looking at the food.

Beomgyu takes Kai's bowl unprompted and scoops ramen into it with the metal tongs. He pours in the soup base along with it and serves it back to stunned Kai. "Thanks." He stammers. Heart pounding.

It's not yet over, while he picks up the noodles with his chopsticks, Beomgyu takes a white, ceramic plate and loads it with soy-marinated beef, garlic chicken, braised wings, and crispy-skinned pork belly. He places the full plate in front of Kai shyly yet sternly. "Eat a lot." He says sweetly to which Kai coughs because he inhales a piece of noodle into his lungs while trying to both finish swallowing and thank Beomgyu in the same breath.

Soobin, unknowingly, sees his friend briefly choking and as a caring gesture, hits his back twice so he can get whatever is stuck in his airways out. It does the very opposite.

"Ugh." Kai bends forward instantly, pain engulfing his yet-to-fade bruises. He grips the side of the table and breathes shakily.

Soobin covers his mouth. "Sorry! Did I hit you too hard?" he asks, but he does not think he did. It was more a harsh pat than a hit, so he had put not a lot of force into it. He did so causally whilst talking to Taehyun about their slow librarian that takes forever to find the book you asked for, that he only put half of his attention on Kai.

Well, to his defense, it did stop the younger from choking, but now he is more worried about why Kai reacted so strongly over a gentle hit on the back.

As soon as he bends in pain, he recovers like nothing has happened. He tries to laugh it off. "Yeah," he has five pairs of worried eyes on him. "Your palm is huge." He complains. Putting the blame on Soobin and thankfully it's somewhat true, Soobin has large hands which can explain why he thought he hadn't hit Kai hard when he did.

"Your hands are big…" Yeonjun points out after a mindless glance, reaffirming Kai's words. He waves with his chopsticks and tosses a seasoned cucumber into his mouth. "I'll keep that in mind." He whispers.

It's Soobin's turn to choke.

Chapter Text

The dinner went by fast, faster than Kai would have wanted. He kept receiving custom-made wraps from Beomgyu, to which he smiled bashfully, taking them with care. After having eaten his body weight, he slowly laid down on the synthetic grass and put his hands on his bloated stomach.

"Ah, I think I'm going to burst." He tells Soobin, who appears to be in the same food coma. He does not recall the last time he thoroughly enjoyed a slow, good meal like he did tonight, finally not eating in a rush, and finally not eating plain rice and soap. The beef and meat were tender, and flavorful, and kept him reaching for more. It was hot and hearty, both the grilled food and the hot ramen, garnished with eggs and green onions.

The food swishes in his stomach, weighing him down. He can count on one hand the time he ate beef in the last year. It's been long since he felt full, truly full. He shied to take more at first, but the food piled on his plate without his knowledge, since it was put on his plate, he ate more and more.

He feels slightly embarrassed, a third of the food on the table must have ended up in his stomach, and he can't help leaning back sleepily after that. Soobin laughs at him, kindly so. He lies beside him, tucking his arm under his neck for a comfier position.

"Dessert!" Kwan skips away through the door to the roof with a mysterious tray.

Kai's head perks up despite his latest declaration of his fullness. He sits up, and with great difficulty, he feels his body stretch his dress shirt. His eyes widen when he sees the fruits overflowing on the tray. Green, shiny grapes the size of his eyes look juicy and crispy. Cut up red apples and blood orange tangerines.

Just when he thinks his stomach can digest no more, Beomgyu gives him a plump-looking bundle of grapes, perfectly green, shiny, and crisp. He eats them all.

…………………………..

"I'll help you with those." Kai had slipped from the party of four, following Beomgyu to the kitchen with a pile of dirty dishes. He places them on the counter and pushes his sleeves back.

"You really don't need to, " Beomgyu says, giving him a warm look. Are you having fun?" He opens the silver faucet, which emits great water pressure and is clean of rust. He takes a sponge and drowns it in dish soap.

Kai hands him the plates. "I'll help you dry them, at least… " he insists. It's more for him than for Beomgyu, it is a nice excuse to stay next to him rather than go to the roof. The view is different without Beomgyu there. And he'd hate to think he is here, washing dishes alone while they have their fun upstairs.

He sees a smile sneak on Beomgyu's rosy cheeks. He wondered if it was a natural blush or not since he'd seen the hint of pink on it for most of the evening. Perhaps it's the two cans of beer he had. Drunk blush looks good on him. "Okay." He accepts Kai's offer. He peeks to the side, trying to find something with his eyes. With soapy hands, he points at a baby blue towel. "You can take that." He says. "… You haven't answered me yet."

Kai takes the towel. "Oh." He fiddles with the soft fabric in his hands. "I had a lot of fun; the food was great too… " he looks down at the towel and clears his throat. "Thank you for inviting us, that was nice of you." He swallows and takes the dripping wet, yet clean plate from Beomgyu.

Their fingers once again brush together. He's warm. Kai's mind notes, that perhaps it's the hot water from the faucet. He dabs the plate dry.

"Of course, you're a guest of honor here," Beomgyu says with a hint of sweetness. He looks at Kai. "Courtesy of Brownie,"

"I should have saved a puppy sooner," Kai mumbles just loud enough for Beomgyu to hear and his smile widens. He doesn't want to see that smile fade, it's too precious-looking.

They continue their tasks in silence, Beomgyu passing a plate or a cup or glass to Kai which he dries and puts in the respective place for them. He stands behind Beomgyu, his fluffy hair sticking at the top, he wants to smooth it with his hands and see if it is as soft as it looks.

"Kai-ah, help me," Beomgyu speaks softly. "My sleeves." He stretches his hands, avoiding the slipping-down sleeves from touching the water. "Can you fold them back?" he asks.

For a split second, Kai's brain shuts off. He slowly swipes the towel over the glass in his hands and seconds after, when Beomgyu looks back at him he puts it aside hastily and nods. "Oh, yeah." He says in delay. He wipes his hand on his pants and moves close to Beomgyu who is continuously washing the dishes while his sleeves are dangerously close the stream.

Kai had hoped he'd step back so he could fold his sleeves without having to make much contact with him, but Beomgyu faced back to him, not front. He hesitates for a second before he walks further so he is pressed into Beomgyu's back. he reaches for the other's sleeves and pushes them back, folding them with care.

Beomgyu exhales sharply when Kai moves back once again. His neck is red as well as his ears. "T-Thanks." He trips over his tongue.

Leaning back onto the counter, Kai nods and scratches his nape. "No problem." He replies speedily.

"Lord have mercy."

The two of them jump slightly at the voice behind them. Beomgyu gives Yeonjun a lethal stare. "What do you want?"

Yeonjun raises the dishes in his hand. "I brought you two more work so you can continue awkwardly dancing around one another, you are welcome."

He gets a sponge thrown at him, worth it. Yeonjun thinks.

………..

"It's been lovely." Soobin thanks Kwan like the well-mannered guy he is while Kai stands idly beside him, trying to process the heavy, swinging plastic bag of Tupperware and containers filled to the brim with the leftover food from the night. Seasoned fried rice, kimchi, braised chicken and beef, wings, sesame potatoes, and more he can't quite see through the opaque bags.

 Kwan gives them each two bags. Soobin gracefully accepts him, bowing and thanking Beomgyu's dad for the wonderful night and the considerate hospitality while Kai tries to assess and portion the food in his mind for the next week.

If he gives half of it to his parents, he'll have lunch for the next week, if portioned right. Sounds like a dream. He's more than thrilled to see the Soobin had received a bag and accepted it or else he'd have to decline it, telling Kwan it's too generous.

But if Soobin didn't, he assumes it's fine to take.

"It's been out pleasure. You should come again." Kwan says. "We are traveling to Busan soon enough if you two would like to join us."

"What's in Busan?" Soobin asks.

"We're going to the beach," Beomgyu informs loudly from the kitchen. He washes his hand and joins them at the front of the house. His smile is beaming. "there is a raspberry picking farm on the way, if you pay them a couple of dollars, they let you pick and fill a container of them per person. It's pretty there too, and there are picnic tables." His eyes shine bright. Kai is hardly catching what he is saying but he's happy just to hear him talk in such a passionate way. "Dad and I have been going every year during raspberry season. You should join us!"

"Kwan, you, and us. You mean." Taehyun corrects him.

"Yeah." Kwan rolls his eyes. "These guys shoved their way in, but our van can take three more people. And it's more fun with a larger group." He hints.

Soobin looks at Kai, raising his eyebrow. He looks back at Kwan. "Well, for how long?"

"It's a day's trip. This Sunday, what do you say?" Kwan smiles animatedly, just like his son. "I'll get you boys here by 10 pm, sharp!" he promises. From the looks of it, he's hoping they'd say yes which both Soobin and Kai are grateful for.

Weekends are Kai's only time to unwind, and he uses them to curl in his mattress and he hardly gets up at all during the 24 hours. During most weekends Kai cosplays as a rock, sleeping constantly, warming his sore body under what he calls a shower, but most people would call a poor excuse of a hot trickle. By the weekend his body is already at its limit, it is impossible to get up from bed even if he wants to.

Sometimes he'd take a few hours to visit his parents but that too became hard to do after he had started working nights at the store. He declared Sundays a time for him to lie down like a corpse and not move until morning when his Monday shift begins.

Despite it all, Beomgyu has a look on his face that is too hopeful for him to even think about the possibility of denying Kwan's invitation. His eyes are round and bright, his mouth is pinched in a way that waits for a positive answer. "We'll be there." And in no way is he going to let him down when he looks this excited to share a Sunday with him.

Not that Kai is assuming Beomgyu wants him to be there since the invitation was directly from Kwan, but Kai thinks it saves him an excuse to meet Beomgyu in other means. And technically an invitation from Kwan is an indirect invitation from Beomgyu. Or so Kai wants to believe.

Beomgyu's eyes widen, and he jumps in his place slightly, trying to mask his happiness but to no avail. Kai thinks he looks cute when he is purely happy, his smile stretches which reveals a dimple on his cheek, it's not as prominent or deep as Soobin's dimple but it's twice as pretty in Kai's eyes.

There is a refreshing glaze in Beomgyu's eyes, like they haven't witnessed anything bad, a certain innocence in them that makes it impossible to ignore his wishes. Being so caught up in them, Kai had completely looked past the fact that he answered for both him and Soobin.

He slaps himself out of the trance of wanting to please Beomgyu, so his smile keeps on and he looks at Soobin with apologetic and pleading eyes. Kai knows he is putting Soobin in a position that makes it hard to decline and he feels slightly guilty for that, but he has an inkling feeling that Soobin does not need much to say yes.

"Yes." Soobin reconfirms. "We'll be there."

…………………………

"Hyung."

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for the night off."

"No worries." Soobin transferred the bags to his other hand as his right started aching from the weight. Kai is carrying his bags with ease. "Are you off to work now?" the older asks, a worried frown on his face. Unlike Beomgyu and his friends, he only tonight found out what Kai does on the hours he is not working at the store and finally, things have clicked.

He thinks Kai is too young to work in what he does, but it is not like he can say anything about that.  

"Yes." Kai groans. "By the way, Hyung." He inhales. "You didn’t have to say yes to Kwan, sorry if we pushed you to it." He says the words with a little awkwardness in his tone, he is both trying to apologize and at the same time hope that Soobin said yes because he wanted to. It will be twice the fun if Soobin could be there but if Kai's Sundays are usually for resting, he is sure Soobin spends his Sundays similarly.

Soobin chuckles lowly and shakes his head. "I want to come." He confirms Kai's gut feeling. "They are a nice bunch. A little odd, sure." He jokes. "But they are fun."

Kai laughs. "Are you talking about Yeonjun-Hyung?"

"He's… " Soobin clears his throat and his dimples pop out even though he is not smiling. "Special. From what I have gotten to know about him." His words are mild but the expression on his face isn't.

Truth be told, the pair image of Soobin and Yeonjun together makes Kai's brain buffer. Soobin is the calmest person Kai has ever met, soft and warm yet strong-minded and a little stubborn when it comes to things that are important to him. He is rational and considerate, he thinks of his words carefully, and is a diligent person.

On the other hand, Yeonjun is… well. He is a dance major, correlating well with his being carefree and somewhat free-minded. His personality is confusing in a way that Soobin isn't.

With one look at Soobin, you can tell what he is thinking and what he is going to say. Yeonjun can say the most unhinged thing with the straightest face and then act like nothing strange had happened.

The only thing that the two have in common is that they are both males and happen to sit at the same table at the same dinner party. Still, their dynamic seemed to be building nicely which no one expected.

"Special as in?"

"Don't you have work?" Soobin pivoted the topic. "You should go."

"You can tease me about Beomgyu, but I can't do the same?" Kai whines. "No fair."

"Very fair." Soobin does not give him room to whine. "Go on, I'll see you tomorrow."

Kai nods. They stopped walking at a certain point because he had reached the turn in which Soobin needed to take a right for the store and Kai needed to take a left for his apartment.

Soobin ruffles his hair and tells him to stay out of trouble until then which Kai promises to do. It feels nice to have someone older than him that feels like a caring, older brother. He had never had someone like Soobin, and he finds the older's presence and treatment towards him nice and soothing. He had never expected to become closer to Soobin in such a short time, but he does not regret opening up to him.

He feels lucky to have seen the wanted flier plastered on the convenience door when he did.

They separate ways after that and Kai heads to his apartment where he only has time to store the mountains of food in his refrigerator, hoping it's strong enough to cool it until the morning.

He washes his face, mentally preparing himself to leave for the site, but he can never prepare enough for it.

The site is empty apart from a few contractors working the night away. He clocks in and begins to tend to the work he has missed.

………………………

Six hours later, at four in the morning. Kai struggles to keep his eyes open as he walks to the showers, taking a short one before he changes into the locker room. His hands are soar, his arms are numb and his stomach grumbles.

He yawns deeply, rubbing his eyes and slinging his bag on his back. he walks home, trying to rush despite his aching legs.

When Kai gets home, he doesn't bother walking to his mattress, falling on the floor with his bag still on his back. he knocks out.

………………………..

"What's this… "

"Beef," Kai says, his voice high and disbelieving despite being the one who brought it. He feels like a little kid showing his mom a drawing he did for the first time.

His mom digs into the bags, her eyes turning skeptical whenever she sees more and more things. "Where did you get this?"

"I… " he hesitates. "I have some friends, from near West Park. We had a dinner party, so they had some stuff left.

"Friends from Near West Park." She repeats.

"… yes. They're nice Mom, and not at all like Leila says. And they are from near West Park."

"That makes a difference?"

Kai groans. "Mom." He calls harshly. "Just take it, 'kay? You and Dad could use it, there is enough for the whole week, even more."

His mom eyes the food but no matter where and from who it came from she knows it's too valuable to get picky with it. And Kai knows that bringing up his dad would only convince her further to take it. She tsks her tongue, hating to take it but she does. "What about you."

"I have some left in my apartment. Share this with dad." Kai rose from the chair after seeing his mom accept the bags of food. He flashes a smile and gives her a side hug before grabbing his backpack. "I have to run."

………………………

At his mid-break, Kai goes to the break room to unwind. His shoes are too tight and his legs feel sore and he knows if he'll take them off, he will see a few red spots and cuts. He shifts his feet and hopes the discomfort will settle during his break enough for the shift to end smoothly.

He takes the shoes off and washes them under the shower head. On his way to the break room, he passes by a few of his co-workers and walks a little faster to avoid having to talk to them. They are all significantly older and overall, not fun to talk to considering they see him as a little kid, passing jokes at him every now and then, he does not appreciate being looked down on. Being the youngest in the team means having the dirty work thrown on him out of default.

He had thought after some time, his co-workers would knock it off, or maybe come to his aid after seeing the different approach he gets from their boss, but not a word was uttered and he left to struggle by himself.

"Hey." Someone promptly stops him from entering the breakroom. "What's with the limp?" it's Helver. They work together quite often, and he does not find him as shameless as the rest, but he is still not someone Kai would confide in or put his trust in.

He shakes his hand off his shoulder and pushes into the breakroom. "None of your concern." He did not notice he was limping, but he should have expected that from his bleeding feet.

"Okay, tough boy. Your call." Helver is immature despite pushing his forties. "I was going to help." He says, but nothing good even happened from his co-worker trying to help. Not that they tried, most times. But even when they did it came with favors Kai did not wish to do in return. Like covering their shifts and lending them money in return.

Kai fills a plastic cup of water and chugs it. "Thanks, but I'm fine." He learned to reject their advances to take advantage of the innocence he once had when he just started working and thought it'd be fine to accept their so-called favors.

Helver leaves the room with a head shake, returning to work while Kai has just taken his break. The shoes are still tight around his feet, but he is too tight on money to afford new working boots.

He sighs and takes his lunch from the fridge, unwrapping the stack of paper towels used to protect his food. the paper is slightly damp from the way the beef was poorly wrapped. Kai does not have lunch boxes, so he had to improvise.

He had to remove a few pieces of paper that stuck to the piece of meat but other than that, it was kept well. He takes a pair of wooden chopsticks and eats on the table, the food is just as well seasoned, cold but tasty. After 6 hours of work, Kai would take anything chewable that could slide down his throat.

Beomgyu pops into his head because how can he not when the food reminds him of the evening before? Perhaps it is foolish, but when he is done with his lunch, and daydreaming about the long-haired boy with the pretty eyes and boyish smile, he goes back to work and it's easier to stand on his feet and do his job.

Maybe it's the food, he does not get to eat something as sustainable as meat often, or maybe it's the thoughts about the boy that keep him going despite the aching in his body.

He gets thrown back into the site. The sun is not yet setting at six in the early evening, but the heat does calm down. Still, when he carries bags of ropes on his back, he sweats through his shirt, and it becomes sticky and itchy. He had learned to get used to the itch.

The fine dust in the air gets into every breath he takes and irritates his nose. He wipes it down and pulls on it, he hops on the lift that goes higher in the air and passes the bags to the workers on top of the building. He needs to throw them up, which puts a certain strain on his shoulders that will soon leave bruises.

The helmet on his head blocks most of his upper vision, throwing the bags almost blindly for someone to take. The lift gradually goes down and he loads it with more bags and metal rods.

He feels like coughing from the density of the air and the humidity. It's stuffy under his shirt and vest, keeping his body hot and burning.

The lift goes down again, and he takes a breather which turns into a coughing fit, trying to clear his lungs out of dust. Someone passes him a bottle of water and he wipes the sweat off his forehead and drinks the water greedily, pouring some of his dirtied face and neck.

He exhales and turns his head to find the person who passed him the water so he can thank them, but from the corner of his eye, he sees something a lot more interesting.

Beomgyu. Standing alone outside of the site, looking down with his hands behind his back. He seems to be waiting, but for what? He wears a white shirt with a short-sleeved, thin vest over.

"Give me five," Kai tells the contractor. He walks over to the gate. "Beomgyu-Hyung?" he calls. The boy finally looks up, his face brightens, and he looks nervous, but delighted at the same time.

He looks cute in what he is wearing, a baby blue beanie sits atop of his fluffy hair, hairs sticking out of it. Kai smiles, endeared. "What are you doing here?"

Beomgyu's hands are still locked behind his back which makes Kai wonder if he is hiding something. It's weird seeing him without his friends surrounding him. He's calmer without them, milder.

He passes his weight from one leg to the other, smiling sweetly. He unlocks his hand and reaches out his hand. "I got you something." He says his voice a little shaky.

"Banana milk?" Kai asks.

Beomgyu nods. He reaches his hand further and tucks the small bottle in Kai's hands. "You look like you need something cold to drink." He frowns. "No wonder you are tired whenever I see you." Beomgyu pouts. Just watching Kai work makes him tired and jumpy. He has no idea how Kai does it.

"I love banana milk… " Kai accepts it with a shy smile. "But Hyung,"

Beomgyu hums attentively. His unwavering focus on Kai makes Kai blush furiously. He does not know what he did to have Beomgyu give him such kind attention. "Did you come here all by yourself?"

Beomgyu gulps, he puts his hands in his pockets as if to feign nonchalance. "Yes, why…? Do you- Am I being a bother?" he laughs a little, but his tone is saddened. He must think Kai does not want him around his workplace. Sure, how could he have been so dense, he is distracting Kai and probably causing him trouble with his boss.

Kai shakes his head. "No," he says a little too eager. "No, Hyung. Of course not. Just… " he scratches his red ears. The banana milk is cool in his hands, but it won't be for long since they are sweaty and warm. "Next time, don't come alone. It's not the safest place. And I'm worried," he clears his throat. "…About you."

The gate opens. "Kai! What the fuck?!" an elder man sticks his body outside; he looks pissed and Kai bites his lips. The situation does not give Beomgyu much time to be giddy about the fact that Kai is worried for him.

It should not have fluttered his heart like that.

"Sorry." Kai looks back. "I should go." He looks back at Beomgyu and he presses his lips together, hesitating. "Thank you for the drink, Hyung. I'll drink it happily." He says candidly. "You look cute today." He spews before running back to the site, letting Beomgyu bask in the shy, murmured compliment.

A dumb smile stretches on Beomgyu's face before he turns on his heels and gives Kai's back one more whipped look before walking to his dad's workshop.

That same dumb smile appears on Kai's face a few minutes later when he clears the bottle empty, a sweet banana flavor left on his tongue.

…………………………

"Shit." The word promptly leaves his mouth when he sees the state of his legs. He wiped the blood down with a harsh paper towel from the toilets. He hides them when his co-workers enter the locker room, changing their clothes and talking between themselves. Kai gets up and takes his stuff from his locker, wincing at the pressure on his legs.

He waits for them to be gone before washing his feet for the second time so he can get a clearer picture of how bad the damage is.

The soles of his shoes are wrecked, and so is their support of his feet and legs. It's like working barefoot.

He wraps the cuts with paper towels but it hardly does the job of protecting the wounds. He stays in the locker room for about twenty minutes, thinking he should just bear it until he gets to Soobin's store but if he has to walk on foot, which he does, it'll be impossible to do so without proper support.

He's tired and drained. He can perhaps pull his money and buy bandages in the store but he must save every dollar for rent and food. it'll be a waste to waste his precious money on such things.

Kai buries his hands in his hair and feels a sleepiness drape over him in his position, slouched on the locker room bench. He decides to get up just to see how sore it would be but he sits down almost immediately after trying. He should have left right after his shift ended, but after giving his feet rest, it's harder to force them to walk again.

An indecent idea pops into his head and at first, he rejects it right away. But after some thought, he begins to convince himself that it is not as bad as he thinks. He remembers seeing a roll and white fabric in the supply closet, but it was closed to workers of his level. 

He can ask to borrow some, but he is ninety percent sure he'd get laughed at, and taking it sneakily won't be an option if he does ask first because when and if someone realizes a roll of bandages is missing, the first person they'd look at is him.

He doesn't have enough for both bandages and a ride on the bus. But he also can't walk far after a long shift.

It's quite a dilemma for him but the more he ponders about it the longer he spends in the locker room, and he needs to be in the store by one. If he can just walk to the supply closet without being seen he should be fine.

His hands go deeper into his hair, a sour feeling builds in his stomach. he hates to have to think of it, but he doesn't see other options. He'll walk on broken legs before he'll beg for help from his boss so that is out of the picture.

Blood seeps into his already dirty socks while he thinks his plan through. It's one roll, he should be fine even if he is caught, right? It's either this or taking three times as long to get to the store, and his feet will be injured even more. He might not be able to work tomorrow if he lets that happen.

Still, stealing feels risky, he's not sure if it's worth it but he truly doesn't see another way to leave the site. He wonders how he even got to a state where he can't walk unless he's in pain.

If he steals those bandages, his feet will heal faster, won't they? And when he gets home in the morning, he can open his fridge and put his legs closer to the cold air to stop them from inflaming.

They'd be better in no time.

His heart beats faster at the thought of possibly getting into trouble, with his boss, no less. He feels mad for even attempting to think of it, but as it turns out, he must.

He knows it's a bad idea when he looks into the hallway and it is empty, and he is certain it's the worst idea he had when he slips into the storage room and stuffs his pockets with bandages and soothing cream for his cuts.

And he is sure this will come to bite him in the ass, but he does so anyway. He steals anyway and lets his future self handle the repercussions.

Chapter Text

Thoughts about getting caught plague his mind as he walks to the store. This is not him; he knows it isn't. he only stole a few times in his life, when he was desperate to, when he did not know any better. But now he knows better, and he still steals despite it.

The sour feeling in his gut turns ugly, no one can find out. He wishes he could reverse what he did, if he sat there for longer, a better idea would come to his mind.

He clocks into work troubled out of his mind. Soobin notices, because of course, he does. He makes Kai sit down on the stool while checking in inventory. He tells Kai that once they are done unpacking, he should go to the storage room and for the first time, Kai does not argue back.

He simply nods.

Soobin passes him a brown box to open. "Is everything okay, Kai?"

Kai nods again, finding it hard to speak. He'll deal with what he took later, he'll buy the supplies and put them back before anyone notices. This is not him; he refuses to be boiled down to a thief.

He should find a pharmacy after his shift and buy the exact bandages. Will anyone notice it's missing before the start of his work at twelve tomorrow? Would they be able to trace it back to him?

It dawns on him that there are cameras everywhere on the site, despite, unsurprisingly, his boss's office. He says the cameras are broken but Kai knows he just turns them off whenever he wishes.

Even if he will put the supplies back, he can't deny that he took some. What will his boss do once he realizes Kai stole from the closet? He visibly shivers and his hand slips around the cutter knife.

"Kai!" Soobin's voice brings him back to the store. He pries his hand off the knife, it's bleeding. When did he get cut? "Why are you being so careless?" Soobin yanks his hand and puts pressure on the cut with a roll of toilet paper beside the register. The older panics over a shallow cut.

He thinks Kai is crying because of the pain but he barely feels the small cut on his thumb over his legs. "Does it hurt?" he asks, concern pinches his eyebrows. He tsks his tongue and takes Kai's hand and examines it closely. "It doesn't look serious, I have band-aids in the back."

Soobin jogs to the storage room, returning with a small box with panda prints on it. He pulls a band-aid and plasters it on the bleeding cut. He sighs. "Kai," he calls.

Kai sniffles, trying to mask it, apologizing with a laugh. "I should have been more careful. Sorry, hyung." He says with trembling lips.

"I'll finish that." Soobin takes the box-cutter. "Tend to the customers in the meantime."

Kai nods. "Okay," he pulls his nose. "Sorry again."

"Don't sweat it," Soobin says with a tone that makes it easy to trust and lean on him. It's dangerous to fall into it. He says it with every intent to stop Kai at the end of the shift, drag him to a breakfast place, and get him talking about why he arrived with disheveled thoughts.

……………………..

"Eat."

Kai picks on his eggs. They look good, but his appetite is not the same with the anxious knot in his stomach. looking back, he preferred to deal with pained legs rather than think about what he did and the punishment he was going to get for it.

But Soobin paid for his meal, and he would both disappoint the older and waste food if he didn't eat. He piles eggs on his fork and stuffs them into his mouth.

His stomach grumbles and just then he realizes how hungry he is. "So," Soobin begins. "What's wrong?" he jumps straight to it.

Kai shrugs. He takes a sip of his orange juice. "Nothing." His voice betrays him. Soobin looks at him like the last thing he does is buy his bullshit.

"It's not nothing, if you really don't want to talk about it, then… " Soobin sighs. He pulls the sleeves of his gray hoodie over his hands and crosses them on the table. He has this look to him, with those kind eyes, the soft tone in which he speaks, it's almost making Kai want to talk. "Fine. You don't have to. But we are going to sit here until you finish your food and then I'm ordering pancakes, so, you better eat those too. Got it?"

Like a kid being forced by their parents to eat the rest of the broccoli on their plate, Kai sits in front of Soobin, and until the last bite of syrupy pancake is inhaled by him thirty minutes later, Soobin does not let him leave.

He nods when Kai is done, they gather their things and leave the IHOP thanking the employees on their way out.

Kai is stuffed, and the hunger in his stomach quiets down. But his thoughts only grow louder. Soobin walks beside him, until the junction where they part ways.

"I stole from work," Kai says. He knows by saying that he risks something, he risks being viewed as someone with poor morals by his boss, in a way. Maybe by admitting that, Soobin will have extra eyes on him, he won't trust him with inventory, and especially not the register. He might even fire Kai altogether even though he didn't steal from the store.

Soobin stops and looks at him, he frowns. "it's okay, Kai. I don't mind. What did you take, though?"

Kai shakes his head. "Not from you, Hyung. From the construction site." He feels painfully self-aware.

"Oh." Surprise falls on Soobin's face he had thought Kai was feeling bad because he had stolen from the store. "What was it? Money?" he looks slightly stressed. Kai wonders why he looked more at ease when he thought Kai was stealing from him and why he said he was okay with that happening.

Now that it's not something Soobin is in control of, he feels stressed. "No, of course, I didn't steal money." Kai defenses. "I- I needed some bandages. But I only took one roll, so… I thought it'd be fine. But I don't feel well about it."

"Bandages?" Soobin questioned. "What for?"

Kai points down where the white fabric on the bandage is visible under his socks. He looks up at Soobin, sheepishly. He waits for a reaction of sorts. He wants Soobin to be mad at him, and tell him how irresponsible and untrustworthy he is, how stupid and snappy his decisions are but he does none of that.

"Does it hurt? Why haven't you said anything?" he scolds Kai. "I would have gone easier on you today." He raises his hands as if he is frustrated and Kai wrecks his brain on how Soobin could have made the shift easier on him more than he already did.

He put him behind the register, let him nap in the storage room afterward, and bought him breakfast. How is no one taking advantage of the gentle giant in front of him, the opportunity to do so is right there.

Kai shakes his head. It does hurt but not enough to complain about.

"Bandages you said?" Soobin contemplates. "Just that?"

"No… ah- I-I took healing cream too. But that is it, I swear." Kai's hands begin to sweat and his stomach lurches. "Hyung, this is the first. I'm not like that… I-"

"Kai."

Kai shuts up.

"I believe you; you are a good boy… I see it on you. If you took something," he takes a deep breath. "Well, that just means you needed it. Come on." He takes his hand. "We'll go to the store, and I'll buy bandages and cream. Do you work tomorrow?"

Kai nods. He wonders if Soobin has the same idea he has.

"Then tomorrow, bring those things back and say you were just borrowing them. There shouldn't be a problem if your boss is rational enough."

How does Kai tell Soobin that his boss is the least rational person to live on the planet? The last thing he will do is admit that he has taken something from the office he should not have, he does not want to think about what will happen then even if he brings those things back a day later.

He has to do it quietly. If there is no supply shortage, no one will raise an eye and check the cameras.

………………………..

His alarm wakes him up at eleven in the morning. Kai reuses the bandages from last night and when he is done wrapping them around his legs, he gets up and whips up a meal consisting of rice and potatoes.

Like yesterday, he lays out paper towels on the crooked table and puts a few pieces of grilled beef on the paper towels, folding them neatly and putting them in a plastic bag to take to work.

He stuffs the items Soobin had bought him in the morning into his bag and with a tired sigh, he leaves for the bus station.  

………………………

Kai changes into his vest and puts on a sleeveless shirt to accommodate the heat outside. when the locker room is left empty, he knows he only has a few minutes before people start to question his location and call him to join the others.

He mimics what he did yesterday only it is trickier to sneak to the supply closet at early noon when the site is lively and filled with people rather than at the end of the shift when it is rare to find someone roaming in the halls of the offices.

He waits until the hall is empty but there is no guarantee it'll be empty for long. He moves quickly, running in quiet steps to his left where he pushes the door handle down and slips in speedily. Luckily, the closet is not too far away from the lockers. This is odd because most of the people using the lockers do not get to use the supply closet.

They are also the people who need those supplies the most, so Kai wonders what truly the use of the closet is if not for them.

He pulls the items from his bag and puts the roll of bandages in the blue basket and the cream in the drawer. Once he does that he instantly feels better, like he can breathe cleaner.

Kai smiles to himself and turns around, planning to go the way he came when his blood turns to ice and his smile drops completely.

"No, by all means," His boss speaks. "Keep going." The door is open which makes Kai wonder how he did not hear it after he had closed it. His boss's lips are puckered, and his sharp eyes are sharper than usual, like two black lines. Even so, his voice is calm which unnerves Kai.

"Sir,"

"What did you take?"

Kai swallows, and his body turns rigid. It'll all be okay once he explains the situation.  "Nothing. I took some stuff last night." He speaks without thinking, too blindsided and afraid. "But I put them back now." His brain works hard to word it in a way that sounds right but the glare he gets from his boss disrupts the connection between his mind and his mouth.

"What did you take, Kai?"

"I put them back," Kai repeats himself like a broken record. "I had put it back." dumbly, he keeps saying that thinking his boss will relent.

As if to make matters worse, the door opens a little more and he sees that behind it a few of his co-workers and office workers stand outside, stopped by the usual noise coming from the supply closet. "That is not what I asked." His boss speaks.

He feels patronized by the judging looks he gets from the people outside who are clamoring between themselves, trying to figure out the matter at hand. It does not take them long to connect the dots. Kai is where he should not be and looks guilty as well, like a deer caught in headlights.

His mouth dries up. "Just-" his heart beats louder and this is like a scene from his nightmares. "Just one roll of bandages, that is all. And I returned it just now, Sir. I-" he inhales sharply. "I know I took it without permission but-"

"But?" His boss parrots. "What is your excuse for stealing?"

Kai's ability to speak and form coherent arguments is washed by a bucket of cold water. He knows that he can't explain himself even if he did put the things he took back to their place, the damage is already done. he closes his lips and tries to hold back unfair tears.

"Go do your work." His boss speaks after a long silence. "I'll see you in my office after your shift to discuss things." He leaves the supply closet; the workers clear the way for him to walk away.

Kai does not stay to see the pitying gazes on him and the noises that sound like a classroom after the teacher sends the bad boy to the principal's office. A few Ooo's and hissing noises. "You're screwed… " someone whispers.

"Shut up, Milo." Kai bites back, pushing his way out and into the site. He walks fast, stopping by the locker room to shove his bag into his locker. He lets out a long breath and lets his head fall on the metal door of the locker.

His hands shake beside his body. "Shit," Kai murmurs to himself. His eyes burn and tingle, he wipes them hastily and leans his elbows on the locker. He sighs. "Shit." A fit of anger boils in him, something hot and fueled by feeling wronged.

It is right, he did something bad, but he fixed it and apologized. He had shown that he regretted it by putting everything back, so why was he being treated like that? Soobin had wasted his money on those things just for Kai to fuck it up.

Kai is never violent, but at that moment he feels like it's not fair. They should have heard him out, or maybe given him more time to explain and those workers should not have stood there, making him break a nervous sweat.

He can't afford to get hurt right now; he quite literally can't afford to get beaten when he has work right after his job. His fingers tremble, he feels stuck without a place to run to. He could leave, he could leave right now and never look back at this place, but those thoughts have passed through his mind before, he had been there before. Wondering if this job is worth it, wondering if he needs that money so much, he is willing to wreck his body through it.

The answer was always yes. It is a yes even now. That only makes him angry because even though he has the ability to leave, he has the right to walk out but he simply can't. being without a job is scarier than whatever is going to happen at the end of his shift.

He gets a hold of his anger before he lets it out on the poor locker. He straps the helmet over his head and begrudgingly, steps outside, leaving the anxious thoughts in the locker room for his future self to claim back in twelve hours.

…………………..

There is this feeling he gets before he enters his boss's office. Like his body isn't his, possessed by someone else. It's stiff and his heart beats hard, but not fast, as if it is trying to control his pace to not make fight or flight kick in.

His mind is clouded, and it is as if he is leaving himself behind the door of the office, his will and wants to be stripped out of him as soon as he enters the threshold. It's an odd sensation.

His body knows this place, it knows what is to follow which makes it hard for him to step in. It's like he is forcing his hand into a fire or cutting his skin on purpose. It has no logic, yet he still allows himself to get hurt.

Kai kneels.

…………………….

Kwan stops Beomgyu from leaving the door. "Take Brownie with you at least," he says. The puppy is not so little anymore after a strict eating regime and a lot of exercise. Beomgyu thinks it through, and it is too late to wander around alone.

He agrees to take Brownie with him and remembers what Kai had said the day before, maybe the boy will worry less if he sees Beomgyu come with a feisty friend.

He hooks a leash on Brownie, who has grown twice in size and is a lot harder to take control of when walking but Beomgyu does just fine.  

The leg casts are off, and Brownie runs fast leaving Beomgyu to struggle to keep him at a human pace. He tugs on the leash and his chest goes up and down. He did not prepare himself for a run tonight, but he is happy to see Brownie grow stronger and faster. "Settle down, Boy." He tells the not-so-pup anymore. "I'm tired."

Brownie's fast legs slow down and he skips beside Beomgyu, still a little too fast to be called a walk but Beomgyu jogs lightly and he finds it nice.

It takes a shorter time to get to the site since Beomgyu usually walks, not runs. He stops Brownie when they reach the transparent gate, it's half-opened and the site is mostly empty.

A few people leave from the gate, not sparing Beomgyu a glance. He had seen a few of them before so he assumes Kai works with them. Beomgyu peeks into the gate and he slips inside with Brownie.

If security is lacking, then maybe there isn’t a need to keep people outside. plus, it doesn't seem dangerous to walk in.

Brownie lets out a sharp bark out of nowhere.

Beomgyu tugs on the leash. "Hey, don't do that." He scolds. Brownie turned around in himself, brushing his fur against Beomgyu's pants.

"He should be here… " Beomgyu mutters to himself. He tours around, trying to catch sight of a bright orange vest and a gorgeous body. Brownie turns restless and Beomgyu shushes him, thinking it's the dense air that irritates him. "Brownie, please. Calm down."

The dog in return barks again, baring his teeth. Beomgyu frowns. Brownie stops to sniff the air and then he runs abruptly, yanking Beomgyu's arm making him yelp in surprise. He tries to gain control over him, but Brownie is stubborn, dragging Beomgyu across the site to a low but long structure.

Beomgyu follows suit, hoping Brownie is acting strange because he can smell Kai, although there is a possibility he's leading Beomgyu towards a dead animal or a piece of forgotten food and it is all for a wild goose chase.

Brownie barks again, and bites on air. "Pipe down." Beomgyu pleads. He looks around, hoping no one will come to see where the sudden noise in the night comes from. He pulls on the leash hard and crouches down. "Brownie," he warns. Brownie looks distressed. He barks again and again.

He turns around in his place and runs again, frantic. He pulls Beomgyu to the bungalow. "Brownie, wait," Beomgyu is certain the place is for workers only which he is not. He struggles with Brownie, pulling the dog back inside. The dog protests loudly, and Beomgyu thinks it would be wise to leave the site before anyone comes to complain about the barking.

He turns to leave but something moves at the corner of his eye and for a second, he thinks someone approaches them, but it is just the curtain covering a window near them flying in the wind. It exposes bits of the room, lit in dim, yellow light. Beomgyu squints his eyes to see better the figures behind it. They are at eye level but the curtain hides most of them.

Brownie goes ballistic, barking non-stop.

"Is he in there, Brownie?" Beomgyu asks quietly. He knows the dogs won't answer, at least not in words but it makes sense that he is. He takes a few steps forward and steps on his toes until the tip of his nose is pressed against the warm glass. His shoes dig into the dirt around the structure. He shushes Brownie again and the dog whines sadly at not being heard.

The window is half-opened at the upper parts of it, the sliding door is cracked in half. Closer to it, Beomgyu can hear weird, loud thumping noises and talking. He stretches himself hired so his eyes peep inside.

A brush of wind tugs on the curtain, making it sway left. What he sees behind the curtain in those three seconds before the wind halts and the curtain comes back to its place makes Beomgyu take a few steps backward until he trips over his legs and falls on his bottom.

He scrambles up and goes back the way he came from, face flushed, and breath quickened. Brownie walks with him but his head is turned back, and he keeps barking loudly.

Beomgyu opens the gate and steps outside of the site, his face is stricken, and his eyes are wide and restless. Brownie barks at him. "Shh… shh. He's fine," Beomgyu soothes despite himself being shocked. "Kai's okay." He pats Brownie's fur with determination to keep him quiet and settled.

Brownie whines and keeps barking in the direction of the site, trying to wriggle his way from Beomgyu's hands. Beomgyu grabs the leash, and they walk further away, he hopes once they go far enough Brownie will calm down, but he remains restless and angry.

Beomgyu is at a crossroads. He doesn't want to return to the clinic but if he stays it'll only aggravate Brownie more. he pats Brownie and feeds him a snack which Brownie chews once and throws on the ground in a fit. A frustrated sigh leaves Beomgyu's lips.

He fishes out his phone and makes a call. Surprisingly enough the line beeps and sends him to Kai's voicemail. He leads Brownie to a bench where he sits down and tries calling Kai again.

Was it the right decision to walk away from the site? He doesn't know Kai enough to barge in there and start to ask questions but the thought of him… his mind stops right there, trying to erase the image of Kai on his knees, bending forward as his back gets struck. What has he gotten himself into?

For the next hour, Beomgyu is in waiting mode, or rather, contemplating mode. He can go home, but that feels wrong, he can return to the clinic but that feels wrong too. His attention is stolen, and his focus is stolen. He's not even comforting Brownie to his fullest ability.

He knows he won't relax until he sees Kai and makes sure the younger is okay, but an hour passes of him just sitting on the bench, half-assessing pats and playing with Brownie's tail.

He has stopped barking, but he appears just as restless. After ten minutes more, Beomgyu gets a phone call from his dad, and he lets him know he is fine and just waiting for Kai to clock out of work which is true enough.

After twenty minutes, Brownie begins barking again. Furiously. The sudden barking makes Beomgyu jump subtly and look to where Brownie is pulling the leash. He shoots up from the bench and jogs to the limping boy. "Kai!" he yells, letting go of the leash.

The boy looks up, greeted by Brownie's barks. He looks at Beomgyu, his eyes are dazed and red with pain. "Hyung," his back is bent, walking half-folded over, his arms are hanging at the sides of his body, his shoulders slumped and unmoving. "What time is it?" he attempts straightening up, he winces and breathes heavily.

Brownie bites at the hem of his pants, he stands up on his back legs and looks up at Kai. "One thirty." Beomgyu's heart thumps hard. "Kai, you don't look good." He reaches for Kai's arm. "Let me take you to the clinic, you can rest there." Frankly speaking, the last thing he wants is to see Kai leave his state. Keeping him close is tempting.

" 'Have work," Kai's eyes close. "I'm late."

"Lean on me," Beomgyu slings Kai's hand around his neck, providing support. Kai groans and breathes out in a long exhale. "Where are we going?" he asks.

"Don't worry about it. Just walk." 

.......................

After the third text he sends that gets unanswered, he gives up. The carton boxes that need to be unpacked sit at the front of the store, waiting for someone to move them. He had gotten comfortable too fast with the fact that Kai did it mostly, that he begrudgingly got up to do it himself.

He picks one up with great difficulty. He and Kai are not so different in size, maybe Kai is broader, but Soobin is taller, either way, there isn't a significant difference between them that can explain why Kai moves the boxes with ease and he can't.

After some time, Soobin sets on kicking them inside instead of carrying them in, pitying his back.

He begins unpacking, checking out a customer now and then. He sends another one out of the store when his phone rings and it is too late to assume it is anyone but Kai. Looking at the calling ID, his assumption is right.

"Kai," he speaks to the speaker. "Are you alive?" he asks in a joking manner, but he gets a dry greeting from Beomgyu. His eyebrow tweaks. Why does Beomgyu have Kai's phone? "Hey, are you with Kai? Could you pass him?"

"Kai can't make it to work tonight," Beomgyu says and there is muffled protesting in the background. "he's unwell."

"I'm perfectly fine." Soobin hears. Kai's voice is quiet but determined. "No, you are not," Beomgyu argues with him. There are followed barking and a whole mess of words Soobin cannot decipher.

Soobin passes the phone to his other hand and stops handling the box in favor of standing up and returning to the register. "Hey." He cuts the stubborn back and forth between Kai and Beomgyu. "Tell Kai not to come,"

……………………………..

"See," Beomgyu tells Kai, and the boy just gives him a tired look and slumps over more. he hangs up the phone. "Soobin said he'll leave the inventory for tomorrow so you and someone named Lee can unpack it together."

With a heavy sigh, Kai nods. "Okay."

"Okay?" Beomgyu is surprised by how quickly Kai relents.

"Hyung said not to come, I bet even if I show up," he stops and lets out a pained sigh. Brownie licks his shoes. "…Just take me anywhere, Hyung." He caves in, admitting he is not perfectly fine at all. "I can't feel my back."

Chapter Text

Kai's eyebrow knit in confusion; he looks around. "Why-"

"Why from the back?" Beomgyu opens the back door to the clinic, from the other side of the street, it's locked so he pulls the keys from his pocket and turns the lock open. He pushes the handle, trying to maintain his hold on Kai, and leans forward to move the heavy door. "Do you want my dad to see you? He'll sure have questions if you feel like answering them."

He does not have to search deep into Kai's silence to determine his answer to the question that hangs in the air. The younger looks at him briefly and follows him to the backroom of the clinic. He takes that as a no.

The walk to the clinic had drawn the meek remains of Kai's strength. He breathes heavily, feeling odd without the weight of his bag on his back. Beomgyu puts it aside, showing Kai to the brown couch. He knows it all too well already. It seems like the couch only welcomes him at his worst.

But he had worse than that. It's just, why does Beomgyu always see him like that? Why do they meet this way? When he wants to appear his best, contained, all-together. Beomgyu must think he is a mess, and Kai would blame him for that. That is what he is. He simply wanted to pretend he wasn't in front of the older.

More than he is hurt, he's frustrated. He is just a guy who wants to impress someone he has his eyes on, like everyone else. Trying to make a good impression and failing every time. Life won't let him have that either, that one thing, that little thing.

He doesn't feel judged by Beomgyu, not one bit, not right now or ever. Rather, the look Beomgyu gives him shows more concern than anything else. And that is the problem. If Beomgyu was a jerk in disguise, then maybe Kai would not wish to woo him. But Beomgyu is being awfully kind which just shows him that he's not just a pretty face, but a pretty soul.

That makes it harder to not want him, to not want to be his best version around Beomgyu for just the slightest chance of getting to have him, for a date or two, or plenty. As many as it takes until he gets to call himself Beomgyu's.

Beomgyu's fingertips are cool on his burning back, the aloe vera gel is cold as well and Beomgyu applies it carefully, calculating where and how he applies it. The touch is gentle to the point where it is even ticklish. He sinks his cheek into the couch, his sore arms above his head.

He lowers his left hand to rest on Brownie's fluffy head, the dog looks up at him with sad eyes, licking his palm. Quiet yet high whines come from his throat. "Is he crying?" Kai realizes in delay, alarmed.

Beomgyu hums shortly, affirmatively.

"Why?" he mimics Brownie's sorrowful eyes involuntarily. He lets the doggy lick his palm to the extent of his liking.

He hears the sound of a package opened. "Because his owner is sad," Beomgyu answers. "Dogs are sensitive to human emotions, someone they are close to even more. he just follows you." He plasters a relief patch on Kai's back, smoothing it out of the blue and black bruises. He brushes his fingers against the colorful bruising, looking troubled.

Kai winces, not because of the pain but because his emotions are out in the open. He feels vulnerable, and it is hardly because his shift is off, he can feel Beomgyu's soft touch on his injuries. Will he ask? About what had happened? About why?

Will Kai answer truthfully if Beomgyu asks him?

"Does it hurt?" Beomgyu misinterprets Kai's expression as pained. He retracts his hand, and the cooling sensation retracts with it.

Kai shakes his head. "Just hot, and a little sore." It does hurt when he makes the smallest movement. When he is moving his hands. He wants Beomgyu to get the hint and touch him again with that featherlight touch. Instead, Beomgyu asks where.

"Everywhere."

He doesn't think Beomgyu would take that and unpack four more patches, covering his entire back with them—not just the bruises, everywhere. "I'll repay you for those, Hyung." Kai makes a promise. He wants it to be clear that he is not a burden; whatever he receives, he returns on the same coin.  

"You won't." Beomgyu surprises him. His hand goes back to brushing Kai's skin, relaxing him onto the couch. When Kai asks why, he truly can't understand. Beomgyu shrugs even though Kai can't see him, but he feels the nonchalance in the elder's voice. "Because," he says. "That's not how friendships work."

"That is what we are?" Kai asks, he doesn't know why he feels slightly dejected hearing that. They are not lovers; they are not rivals either. But he didn't think they were friends. Kai doesn't have friends he wants to kiss or thinks they are prettier than anyone he has met.

But perhaps Beomgyu sees him as just a friend. He has a right to. But Soobin told Kai otherwise, although considering tonight, he guesses he knows why any feelings that Beomgyu may have had; dissipated away.

He can't blame him for that either.

On the other hand, Beomgyu feels blindsided by Kai's question. Does Kai think they are strangers? Is he so niche in Kai's life that he does not even have a title? Just… Beomgyu? He thinks bitterly.  

In Kai's eyes, he is just Beomgyu. Someone he wants to have but can't reach. "Hyung?" his prolonged silence worries Kai, who wants to turn around but his body orders him otherwise.

"I thought we were," he pauses. "Are we not?" hesitation coats Beomgyu's words.

And oh, how Kai wants to demand more than friends with Beomgyu. He opens his mouth. Brownie tilts his head and looks at Kai as if he can read his complicated thoughts. "We are." He chickens out. Just the mere thought of saying what he truly wants and listening as Beomgyu gets mildly disgusted by his advances, maybe even kicking him out makes his toes cringe.

Disappointment eats Beomgyu. He was uncertain what he wanted to hear from Kai, but it wasn't that. "Can you stand?" changing the subject so he can get a break from his doubtful thoughts.

Beomgyu had not wanted to admit the gradual bubbling of anger in his stomach since he witnessed what he did. Akin to an anger you ignore until it gets too hot, and you can't stop it from boiling over. That moment hits him when Kai sits up slowly on the couch, at first, he seems successful, but when his feet make contact with the floor and he straightens up to stand, the patches shift on his back.

He is in pain. He only stands for a few seconds before his back caves forward, and he holds his arms grimacing. Beomgyu lets out a sharp exhale. "Just lay back," he helps Kai climb on the couch, his hands rendered helpless and Beomgyu does not know why because he doesn't see visible bruising.

Who was this man behind the window and why would he do that to a stand-up young man? Kai's hands were stretched up, were they not? Is that why he doesn't move them often?

"Hyung, talk to me," Kai feels absurd, he is lying on his stomach so his view of Beomgyu is nonexistent. The only thing he can sense is Beomgyu's sharp breathing. "Your silence… " he trails off. Is deafening. "Are you mad? Or…" he turns his head around and his neck tenses. "Should I go? I can go."

"You're funny," Beomgyu chuckles while rubbing his temples. He needs to think. "How will you leave like that?" he glances at Kai's back once more. "You had bruising on your back when we first met, too." He says as a by the way, quietly. He notes how Kai tenses. He wonders if the younger remembers, he is half sure Kai was asleep when Beomgyu had treated his wounds before. It's all or nothing now, he's just going to ask him because the question is burning in him.

Will Kai be mad that Beomgyu peeped on him? It was all in good intentions, he didn't mean to find out anything. "Kai," he calls. He can hear the younger gulp, his fingers curling in themselves. "I'm going to ask, even though… I think I know the answer already." He prepares the surface. "Are you-"

"I stole." Kai cuts ahead of him. His voice is flat and ashamed. "It's on me," he devastatingly says. "I took something that I should not have, and my workplace…well, things like that don't really fly there. I knew that, but I stole anyway." His nail scratches his thumb methodically, nervous. Somehow, it's easier to come clean when he can't see Beomgyu's expression. "You saw," he adds. "Didn't you?" his cheeks redden.

Beomgyu's lips part, gaping. "How did you know?" he asks chokingly.

"I heard Brownie's barking. It was hard to miss." Kai's skin-picking resumes. "I guessed, But I didn't know for certain until now."

"Was that your boss?" Beomgyu skips over the part where he confirms that for Kai, it seems like he knows either way. His heart clenches, however, when Kai flinches subtly and nods his head. "… Does he do that often?"

"Does it matter?" Kai asks and Beomgyu's words die in his throat. "The money is," he chuckles sadly. "There is still enough for me to pay rent and support my parents and there is still money left to put aside. I can't be picky."

"You're allowed to want more for yourself." Beomgyu finds himself frustrated with Kai's words "You're allowed to want safety in your workplace, Kai… " he says at the end of the sentence softly. "This- this is not right." his nose scrunches in dismay. "Of course, it matters." His tone rises. "He does this often?" is more of a realization than a question. And Kai's silence confirms his suspicions.

He shivers, even though it's warm inside. He rubs a hand on his mouth, trying to digest the reality of it while Kai buries his face into the couch, attempting to find consolace in it from the scolding tone Beomgyu uses.

Brownie, the poor dog has trouble darting his eyes from one human to another. He sniffs the air, smelling something pungent. He goes to his human and his ears fall, licking Kai's red ears with the intent to comfort him. "It's money to start dreaming with," Kai's voice is not above a whisper. "I haven't dreamt in a long time; I can't let that go."

The silence makes him believe Beomgyu is disappointed in him and doesn't get him. He feels further away from him like they are living on two different planets. It feels like Beomgyu is slipping away the more Kai speaks. There is a heavy something in the air. He wished he could hear Beomgyu's thoughts.

Meanwhile, the elder just silently scans Kai, up, his eyes roaming on Kai's back, covered in patches, his unmoving body. And down, his strong legs and bandaged feet under the white socks. "Sorry," the younger says.

Beomgyu's expression furrows more. "What for?" his voice is far away.

A few beats of silence follow. "Don't know, I feel like I had let you down somehow… " Kai's face heats up, he shifts on the couch, wanting it to swallow him whole. Has he led Beomgyu to believe money is all that matters to him? That he'd do anything for it? Even if that means selling his body, throwing it away, he's not better than a- he shakes his head. It's too hard to understand what Beomgyu truly thinks when he can't see him. The silence is too threatening.

He pushes his knees and sighs before moving to a sitting position, he leans his back slowly on the cushions.  "Are you okay?" Beomgyu blinks. Kai nods. He wouldn't admit he did that so he could see Beomgyu. "Why would you let me down?"

Despite sitting up so he could look into Beomgyu's pretty eyes, Kai everts his gaze, looking elsewhere. He finds those eyes hard to stay composed in front. He shrugs lightly. "I feel as if I lied to you."

"About what?"

"I don't know, Hyung." Kai sounds exhausted. "Are you not disappointed?"

"Why aren't you looking at me?"

Kai shivers. He bites the inside of his cheek, and his eyes shake before they track the room slowly, finally fixating on Beomgyu. He feels an overwhelming need to look away from the elder's scrutinizing eyes; they speak a lot of emotions at once and it makes it hard to pick apart those emotions one by one and learn them. "Why would I be disappointed in you?"

"Because." it's hard not to get a look at the chocolate syrup in Beomgyu's eyes. It's nutty and sweet. Why does he have to be perfect? Kai's imperfections only stick out more, highlighted in neon. "Because I am a lot, Hyung." He looks down. "I'm, this." The silence encourages him to keep talking. "Someone who needs others to pick him up again and again, I'm not reliable, I'm full of problems. Isn't that why-" he stops.

Beomgyu tilts his head. It hurts him to hear Kai say those things about himself when he had no say in how his life was pivoted, or to what family he was born. "Why what?"

"Why you stopped liking me…"  

"What?"

Kai cringes, he clears his throat and says. "Soobin-Hyung had said-" he thinks over the wording in his head, but it comes out crooked. "Maybe he was wrong, I don't know. But he made me think that you might have- some feelings for me?" he picks on his thumb, the skin close to his nail already peeling and turning red. "If not then never mind," he adds quickly, embarrassed. "Forget I said anything."

Beomgyu blushes furiously, his cheek in deep red. Had he been that obvious that even Soobin, who isn't too familiar with Beomgyu could catch on? He watches as Brownie climbs up on Kai, making a comfy place for himself on his owner's lap. "Brownie-"

"It's okay," Kai says. "As long as he doesn't climb on my back." he rests a palm on Brownie's fur, happy to have someone distract him from the awkwardness he had put them through. "And um- it's okay if you don't. Like me- that is. Or if you've never felt something toward me, I guess I just thought… that maybe you did." He swallows his bitterness. Was it too far-fetched to think that someone as kind and lovely had his eyes on him, out of all people? Beomgyu probably has people lining up to be with him, was it far-fetched to think he glanced in Kai's direction?

Kai's breath hitches when Beomgyu gets up; thinking he might leave. It is late, later than he thinks is comfortable for Beomgyu, a student who might have a morning class to stay up. He follows his steps with his eyes.

Beomgyu takes off his shoes and sits on the headrest of the couch, not next to Kai but closer than he was before. Kai now had to look to the side and bend his neck up to meet Beomgyu's eyes.

The almond-eyed boy folds his legs in and hugs them with his arms. "What about you?" he asks softly. "Do you like me?"

The blush sits so prettily on his rosy cheeks, that it's even more surreal up-close. Kai's hand stops caressing Brownie's fur, and the dog looks at him, offended. "I don't want my answer to burden you, Hyung. You don't have to return my feelings."

"I know, so what do you feel?"

"About you?"

Beomgyu nods; a hidden smile threatening to break free. Kai's density is somewhat endearing. "I think, I like it when you speak to me. Because you have a pretty voice," Kai glances up briefly before running from Beomgyu's eyes. "And um- You look cute when you wear cardigans, and when you tie your hair up. I want to try to tie it for you-"

Beomgyu's smile widens.

"When you wore a beanie the other day, you looked really," Kai choked up. "-Sorry. You looked really warm, and that made me want to hug you. But I didn't know if you wanted to, too. So, I didn't. also-" he looks the opposite way of Beomgyu, his ears burn red. He can't believe he's confessing, on this night of all. Everything just seems to spill out without control, is he blabbering? "Your smile makes me… happy. You look carefree when you smile, it's purifying, in a way."

Can a heart race like so, like a boombox in Beomgyu's ribcage? He wonders if it's healthy for him to swoon this way over words, just words. But no one had ever talked about him with that much fondness in their voice, hesitation too, and maybe even fear but mostly an overwhelming fondness.

Contrary to popular belief, Beomgyu has dated people. Maybe he didn't date for long; he only dates one or two people at most. He had the taste of being someone's love object, but after dating several people, he came to a resolution, an understanding of sorts rather than a resolution.

He was never a love object, but a lust object. Sure, he was set up with people by his friends and he had gone out with other students who approached him, saying they liked him for long. but he had come to realize that they didn't like him. They liked the way he looked, they liked that he looked and felt easy enough to manipulate into bed.

Beomgyu hasn't told his friends any of that, but after a few failed dates that always ended with a hint of a hook-up offer, he stopped saying yes to people's advances.

He had heard many compliments and many confessions. About his appearance, his body, his lips, the way he kisses, and how erotic he sounds when-… either way. At some point, it started to rise in his throat, and he stopped digesting those compliments, responding with a dry thanks and scurrying off speedily.

And he doesn't want his hopes to rise, and to be let down again. But Kai feels different than them, it's like he sees something Beomgyu they don't. Something deeper, he observes differently. When Kai looks at him, it doesn't feel like he's just… looking. He sees.

Beomgyu doesn't feel naked under Kai's eyes, he feels seen and dare he even say… appreciated. For whom is he, as a person. As Beomgyu.

"When you smile, Hyung… I feel lighter. Like maybe, I don’t have much to worry about." Kai continues. Interpreting the meaningful look in Beomgyu's eyes as something good. "I feel like I want to be the cause for your smile." He whispers shyly. "So, what I'm feeling," he bunches his eyebrows. "Is that I like you a lot, Beomgyu-Hyung."

Beomgyu covers his face with his palms, his heart soaring. "God, Kai... " he lowers his voice to a whisper as well. It seems appropriate. "How do you expect me not to have feelings for you after hearing that?"

Kai blinks. "Do you?" he asks, his eyes are big and hopeful, but with a hint of discouragement in them, inside, he expects Beomgyu to reply negatively.

For the lack of better words, and air. Beomgyu nods, resting his palm on his heated cheeks. His mouth hurt from keeping his smile at bay, stretching more and more with each sentence from Kai. He feels blessed to be talked about so highly, so… sweetly. He makes a mental note to wear his beanie every day and buy more cardigans, smile often when he is near Kai, and keep his hair untied for Kai do to it himself.

"Really?"  

Their distance had closed drastically through their conversation. Kai had just come to notice that their fingers brushed against each other. "Yes, Kai. Yes, do you need to hear it in French? Ci." Beomgyu is surprised to see that there are little moles next to the darker, more apparent ones on Kai's face. They demand him to touch and count them all.

"That's um- Spanish." Kai smiles. "But hyung," he bites his bottom lip. "What do we do now? I don't know how this should go. Are we still friends?"

"Is that what you want us to be, Kai?"

Kai shakes his head. "But it doesn't matter what I want. If we date, I won't have much to give you, hyung. Don't you want more?"

Shrugging, Beomgyu says. "What more could I need?"

"I don't know. Gifts?"

"Not relevant."

"Dates?"

"The park is free, the beach is free, just sitting and talking like this. It doesn't cost you anything, now does it?"

Kai hums. "Time? I only have a few hours between my two jobs, those are for sleep... mostly."

"If a few minutes a day is what you have, then a few minutes a day is fine with me. We can have the weekends."

Shaking his head, Kai sighs and clasps his hands together. "The point is, hyung," he says in an incredibly low, troubled tone. "There will be things you would need to give up, are you really okay with settling down?"

Beomgyu pouts his lips forward and it's distracting Kai from the point he is currently making. It seems like he is in deep thought, so Kai doesn't want to bother him by talking. He waits for Beomgyu to articulate a response. But he didn't expect the elder to reach his hand for Kai's cheek, his palm was soft and delicate.

He brushes a few stray hairs from Kai's eyes and his hand brushes his cheek lightly. "Why would you think dating you is settling down?" he is offended as if Kai had said it about him and not himself.

"I have nothing, Hyung." It's hard to admit to someone else but here, it just slips.

"You have everything I need." Beomgyu retaliates. "I don't need money or physical substances. I had enough guys spoil me to know that receiving expensive shit won't make me special. I want respect, I don't want to be just a pretty face to throw money on. Am I just a pretty face to you?"

Kai shakes his head. "No," he says with a panicked expression. "No, Hyung. Of course not."

 Beomgyu is touched by the way Kai's answer sounds so… innocent. As if he didn't even consider Beomgyu as just that. He sounds so earnest; it makes his stomach flip. "Then, there is nothing more I need to feel loved."

A grateful, near-relieved smile appears on Kai's face. he looks into Beomgyu's eyes, the moment feels stretched when they just drink each other in for a couple of seconds. Content, and unwilling to say anything to break that precious moment between them.

Beomgyu decides he likes Kai's smile as well, it's shy and sweet, and unharmful. The more Kai looks at him, the more his smile grows. They might look like fools to a third person observing. "So, what now," Kai asks, breaking the intense eye in fear he might tear his cheek smiling.

He feels happy, the happiest he has been in a long time. Their fingers mindlessly hook together. A pink and a thumb.  "We get to know each other." Beomgyu looks at their intertwined hands.

Kai's eyes glint in joy. "I'd like that." The words roll out his tongue. Beomgyu's following giggles are music to his ears.

Beomgyu swipes his pinky over Kai's thumb. "I'd like that too."

From the slight touch, Kai becomes painfully aware that his upper body is still bare. He looks down sheepishly. His other hand, the one that isn't toying with Beomgyu's fingers goes to hide his chest. "Hyung," he calls, scratching his collarbone. "Could you help me put on a shirt?"

Beomgyu hadn't noticed it before, but once Kai had spoken about it his attention pivoted to his body. Toned arms, broad back, and god… if that isn't the most defined chest he had the chance to see from this close-up. There is a prominent line between his pecs and Beomgyu can't even believe that he is seriously thinking about just- kind of- shoving his face between them.

"Hyung?"

"Huh? Uh- yeah, I can." Beomgyu gives himself a mental slap in the face. he hopes he didn't make Kai uncomfortable but the younger just seems mildly amused and slightly cold.

He picks up Kai's shirt but it's slightly moist to the touch, he guesses it's sweat from exertion. He scrunches his face and puts it back down. "Let me give you one of Yeonjun-Hyung's shirts." He says instead. "He always leaves his stuff around."

"I'm fine with mine."

Beomgyu already searches throughout the place. Sure, that in one corner, on one chair, or table, he will find something. "I'll get you something more comfortable." And with fewer holes. He wants to say it but refrains because he has enough tact to know it'll make Kai ashamed.

He knows that if he were in Kai's shoes, he would not want to be called out of that.  

"'Kay. Would that be alright with him, though? I already have his hoodie." Kai grunts when he shifts forward a little bit. "Which reminds me I should take it to the wash."

Beomgyu laughs. "Yeah, don't worry about that. Hyung throws clothes after one use, he has too much stuff to remember where everything is." He finds a black, long-sleeved shirt that is sure to fit Kai, not oversized but it won't be too tight either. Just the right fit. "Hence," he raises the shirt. "The clothes lying around. You are actually doing me and my dad a favor by clearing these from our space. See, Hyung thinks it's his rightful house and property, so he discards his clothes here whenever." He takes a breath. "Is a long-sleeve alright?"

"I'm not picky."

"That's not what I asked, though."

"Long-sleeve is fine, Hyung. Thank you." He says from the couch, watching as Beomgyu approaches him with light skips, replying with an enthusiastic great! he smiles at his energy in the middle of the night. "Is it okay for you to stay up this late?"

Beomgyu tells him to raise his hand so that he can sleeve his arms and put the shirt over him and Kai does so slowly, his arms heavy and strained as if he had held a bucket of water over his head for several hours. "Ah... Hmm." He swallows a wince and looks to the side. Beomgyu stops. Kai looks at him with a questioning look.

"We have plenty of patches, should I do your arms as well?"

"Oh, no… there's no need."

"Nonsense, I'll be back." he puts the black shirt on the couch and walks a few steps, kneeling in front of a low drawer, he opens it and inside like he said, there are more than fifty packages. "Hold on." He pulls out about four, two for each arm. He looks back at Kai. "Did you ask something?"

Kai perks up. "I asked if you're okay to stay up this late?"

"Oh, no worries. I have just one class tomorrow, and it's pretty late in the day. I'm more concerned about how you'll get to work…"

His concern goes unanswered. He thinks Kai is worried about the same thing.

Beomgyu returns and opens them one by one. Without notice, he presses his fingers on Kai's bare arm. "Where does it hurt most?"

Kai points at the connection between his arm and shoulder, the place that strains and pulls most when he moves his arms. He feels the cold plastering on his skin. "And the forearms." He says, hesitating before handing out his hands, upside down, pale wrists showing.

"It'll be less sore in an hour or so," Beomgyu says, and Kai kind of sees that veterinarian part of Beomgyu showing. He nods as to say he understands. The patches feel weird on his skin but it's undoubtedly better than having none and dealing with the pain for the next three or more days to come.

Beomgyu puts the shirt over him more diligently and warily, he helps Kai to get his arm through the sleeves, fixing it for him after it is already on. "Can I ask something?" Beomgyu speaks after he smoothest a wrinkle on the shirt. His tone turns serious which makes Kai shift in his place.

He hums, unsure but wanting to grant Beomgyu all of the questions he has.

"What did you take?"

Kai tilts his head.

"From your work," Beomgyu swipes his tongue across his lip and purses it together. "What did you steal?"

"Oh," Kai's face dims. He shrugs even though Beomgyu can see it's not as nonchalant and careless as he wants the gesture to appear. "Just some bandages." The bad feeling that he felt back in the supply closet, with everyone looking at him, judging him. It comes back slowly, and he pushes it aside.

"Bandages?"

"For my legs."' He swings his feet, the white fabric under the socks showing. "And bruise cream, but only a little. The small box."

Beomgyu's lips part, and he shakes his head. "I'm confused." Kai's heart thumps. "I thought they gave that for free, isn't it one of the perks? Accessible supplies in case you get injured? Isn't that part of the health insurance they provide for their workers?"

Kai again, shrugs. "Not me, but other workers."

"Okay," Beomgyu drags his words long. "What's the difference between you and the other workers?"

"Tenure, I think." It doesn't seem like Kai can answer this question well because he's confused, too. He had just learned to accent that he is different from the rest. "Most of them have been working with that company for decades. Some get paid more, and most of them are promoted to project managers or managers of their area. I'm just an employee; I don't get everything they do."

Beomgyu squints his eyes, it doesn't sound right. "Like what?"

"A few things."

"Tell me."

Kai swallows. "I guess, I do more overtime than most of them? That is because I'm late often, and my work schedule used to be different, I'd be late a lot."

"Paid overtime?"

"Sort of."

Beomgyu's nostrils flare. "Sort of?" he parrots.

"Well, I don't get paid by the hour, I get paid monthly. So, whether I do more hours or not, I get paid the same every month." Kai says like it's a normal concept.

Beomgyu blinks in dumbfoundedness. "What kind of fuckery is that?" he asks. Squinting his eyes more, for every answer he gets, he has two more questions.

"I don't know," Kai whispers. "It's part of the job. It is technically in the paycheck… but also not really."

"What else? Kai, do you realize how vague and sketchy that sounds like? Do you have your contract?"

Kai stifles a yawn and shakes his head. Beomgyu's relentless questioning halts, and his face softens. "How will you go to work tomorrow?" he raises a genuine concern. Working in the store might be fine, emphasizing might, but working at the sight in his condition, it would be near impossible for him to keep up with his job.

"I'll think of something."

Beomgyu's face bunches up, dissatisfied with Kai's answer. "You'll be fine?" he asks once more.

"I have to be at work regardless, -

"Don't they give you sick days?"

"Again, not me."

"That sounds illegal."

Kai laughs. "Yeah, maybe." He looks uncomfortable, which makes Beomgyu think they should stop discussing this subject in the middle of the night when neither of them needs to be awake.

Beomgyu taps his finger on his thigh, thinking. He wonders if there is anything he can do since Kai won't, but to be frank just thinking about it makes his head hurt which makes sense as to why Kai just goes along with it. "I'll let you sleep," he'll leave it to tomorrow, or never. He can't begin to do anything if Kai simply does not want him to help. Perhaps he has his reasons, and maybe Beomgyu will get to know them in the future.  

He gets up from the couch and puts a hand on Kai's shoulder, which stays for a few seconds before it leaves. "You have work in a few hours. I've been too long; my dad may think something is wrong." He'd be right. Kai nods, thanking Beomgyu for his help and his eyes linger more than they should have on the crinkle of Beomgyu's eyes when he smiles back.

Their hands detangle and Beomgyu hands Kai a small wool blanket, which he takes with gratitude and watches with something akin to hope the way Beomgyu opens the door to the clinic and slips away, with one last glance. Until next time.

Chapter Text

In the morning, Beomgyu walks back into the back room; his dad unsuspecting of anything. He had wanted to catch Kai before he went to work but it seems he was just a few beats late.

His shoulders slack as he glimpses the unoccupied couch, the crumpled blanket, and the dent in the cushions. It couldn't have been long since Kai had woken up and left, he wondered how his back in doing after having slept for a little while, it could not have been magically fixed, but he left regardless.

Beomgyu passes by his house for a change of clothes. Knowing he'd be out in the heat soon enough; he takes a cold shower. He flips his closet upside down to find the beanie he was wearing last week, putting it on hastily before prepping a quick breakfast.

"Hey." He enters the store exactly an hour later. He looks around, seeing only one guy behind the register, busy with customers. He's short but built. It must be the Lee Soobin was talking about over the phone.

Beomgyu waits patiently for Lee to check out the customers, but their card is declined, and then, they also decide they need something else, and then the door rings and three more people enter. He realizes that the morning shift is much more eventful than the night shift.

Instead of bothering Lee, Beomgyu makes a lap around the store, looking past the shelves and corners for Kai. He walks past some hung curtains, and moves them slowly, just to get a peek.

Sure enough, the boy is there. He has a box balancing on his knee, stocking the storage shelves with inventory that didn't have room for in the store. Beomgyu pauses for a few seconds, just observing.

Kai blinks multiple times, his hair tousled on his forehead, unkempt. Straight from bed to the store. He shoves boxes of cereal onto the shelf, putting them in a line while yawning.

Pushing the curtain a little more, Beomgyu makes himself known. "Hyung," Kai drops the empty box to the floor, wiping his forehead and offering a tired smile. "What are you doing here? It's early."

Technically, it is. And Beomgyu hadn't thought he'd be outside at eight in the morning but here he is, with a little extra something. "You haven't eaten yet, have you?"

Kai shakes his head and sheepishly responds. "Didn't have the time…" he half expects a scolding but what comes instead is Beomgyu reaching for his tote bag. "You wore the beanie," Kai says with subtle amazement. His smile grows.

"Oh." Beomgyu touches the soft beanie and blushes. "Yeah," for some reason, he didn't think he'd feel flushed having Kai point it out, he did it for him but now he is a little embarrassed, but not in a terrible way. "How is your back?" he changes the subject. "I tried catching you in the morning, replace the relief patches." But you were already gone. Is that what Kai had talked about? The absence of time on his hands? Back late, out early.

Kai winces. "Sorry, I needed to get here early. Lee had something, so I had to open the store for him. He's here now, though. Sent me to deal with the inventory. It's kind of nicer than being at the register- what is that, Hyung?"

"Breakfast." Beomgyu smiles kindly and gives Kai the paper-wrapped sandwich. "It's not a lot, in fact I think I had put too much salt in the eggs but it's something, right?"

"You didn't have to, Hyung. I can take care of myself, you know?" Kai says, but Beomgyu can the glint of content in his eyes. He hands him the sandwich. "I know," Beomgyu replies. "But I didn't do it because I thought I had to; I know you're busy… I'm not. I want to help if I can, even doing something small like this."

"Thank you, Hyung." Kai takes it, the sandwich smells of cream cheese and onions, and that makes him salivate. He's so hungry, he thinks if he won't eat now Beomgyu might hear the noises his stomach makes. So, he sits down on the short ladder and opens it.

He has a few minutes for a break. "Hey," Beomgyu speaks when Kai takes a bite. "Do you think you could still come tomorrow... Since, your back and all? I just - don't want you to go if you need the rest." Beomgyu bites his bottom lip, despite saying that, he hopes Kai does come on the Sunday trip.

Kai hurries to say he will be there, but he forgets to swallow his food properly and coughs a few times before waving to Beomgyu that he is okay. After clearing his airways and apologizing, he says. "I'll be there." He wouldn't miss a Sunday with Beomgyu for the world and his back be damned if it ruins this opportunity for him to see Beomgyu with no excuse accompanied.

"Are you sure? It's a whole day. And My dad practically forced you and Soobin to say yes." He laughs.

Kai is definitely aware of the fact that the trip is a full day, in fact, that is what excites him the most. There are no longer fleeting moments between work and a few hours here and there. A full day, morning until night. With Beomgyu… and his friends and Soobin. And Beomgyu's dad.

Still, he'd take that over nothing any day. Even on a Sunday. Even a Sunday with bad back pain. "More than sure." He takes another bite. True to his words, the eggs are salty but he's too famished to notice, and even if he did, he would not say anything. "Where are you off to next?" he eyes Beomgyu's heavy bag and something that looks like a black, cylinder box.

"I have a sketch class, with charcoal and everything."

"Sketch class?"

Beomgyu fixes the tote bag on his shoulder and huffs. "Did you not know I was an art major?"

"I guess-" Kai blinks. Had he never asked what Beomgyu was studying? "No, I didn't. That's so cool, Hyung." Now that he thinks of it, it makes sense considering Beomgyu's house is filled with paintings and may not be his paintings, but it's also not a far-stretch. "The art in your house-"

"Mine," Beomgyu confirms with a smug smirk but immediately pouts. "How could you not have known? Have I not said it before?"

At the dinner party, he said he had a cube due at midnight and Kai remembers being confused over it, but he didn't want to ask and come off a little dumb. "So, when you said you have a cube due at midnight?"

"A cube?" Beomgyu questions, then his eyes brighten, and his lips part. "Oh! Yeah," he laughs, covering his face with his hand. "It was an assignment in oil paints. So, I did mention it."

"You had a cube at midnight?"

"I did."

"Your paintings are lovely, Beomgyu-Hyung," Kai says. "Although I may have looked past some, I'd want to see more."

"Sure thing," Beomgyu beams. It's like a warm, yellow light surrounds him every time he smiles; it's uncanny. "I should go," he makes a sour face. Or I won't have my usual place in the studio next to the window."

Kai nods, and he rids his palm off any crumbs. "I should get back to work, too. Thank you for breakfast."

"Wasn't too salty?"

"Just the right amount."

……………………….

He has a charcoal stain on his cheek. No one tells him though, not even his friends who thought it'd be hilarious if they went out for after-collage coffee, parading Beomgyu all over town with a dark spot on his face; clueless.

He sips on his cold chocolate drink. "I met Kai last night," Beomgyu says after a short while walking alongside the park.

Yeonjun looks at him suggestively, the straw between his teeth as he smiles slyly. His eyebrow rises. "Met him?" he parrots, his smile widens as if he is proud of himself. He looks away from Beomgyu and tilts his head. "Get that dick I guess."

"Hyung."

"What? Please, Beoms. You're far from celibate, it's only fair for me to assume-"

"We didn't." Beomgyu cuts that idea in the bud. Taehyun shakes his head and nudges Beomgyu. "Don't listen to him." The redhead says. "Just because Hyung is whorish doesn't mean you should be." He jokes and Yeonjun aims a kick at him, which he dodges. "So, what happened?"

Beomgyu shrugs and sips. The tips of his ears turn red. "He told me he liked me." He tells them with a whipped smile. He looks down and kicks a rock on the ground. "And I told him I did too. So, I don't know what we are now… but- I'm happy."

"And then you fucked?" Yeonjun asks, getting a hard slap on his back, he arches and whines at the few drops falling from his cup of coffee. "We didn't! idiot." Beomgyu huffs and rolls his eyes. "Plus, he was… " he pauses.

Taehyun squints. "Was what?" he asks. "Was what??" he repeats, curious. He shakes Beomgyu's shoulders. 

Yeonjun gasps. "Oh my god, is he small?" He covers his mouth with his hand, eyes as round as plates. He stops walking. "Was it… soft?"

The two stop with him, now they simply stand in the middle of the way to the swings. "Why am I your friend?" Beomgyu glares. "Seriously, you are so insufferable."

"So, he isn't small?" Yeonjun asks, looking confused.

"How should I know!" Beomgyu yells. "And lower your damn voice, we're in a kids' park."

Yeonjun shrugs. "You're the one who yells and makes a fuss."

A long, deep breath is in session for Beomgyu, if those kids don't wish to see a bloody murder, he has to calm himself down. "He hurt his back, that's all. So even if I was whorish as you, nothing would have happened." He continues walking. "I'm never telling you anything ever again." He promises like a stubborn little kid.

Yeonjun touches his shoulder. "Sorry, hey come on!" he catches up to him, Taehyun looking at the two with amusement in his eyes. "Sorry, Beoms. That's real nice, so you confessed?" he asks, slinging his hand around Beomgyu's neck to reconcile. "About damn time," he adds quietly and Beomgyu hears that and tries to get his arm off.

Yeonjun holds tighter. "Sorry!"

"I hate you."

"Should we go see your knight in an orange vest?" Yeonjun suggests knowing Beomgyu would jump on the opportunity to visit Kai "Shouldn't he be at work?"

So, they decide to take a detour to the Noodle place for lunch, they dine for an hour. Beomgyu orders something extra and asks the waitress to make it to go. She looks at him weirdly for the entirety of their dining which makes him wonder if he was rude to her.

With full bellies, and a short laugh between Taehyun and Yeonjun about the fact that Beomgyu still hasn't noticed his cheek is blackened from coal. Beomgyu carries the bag to go in his hand, they walk to the site where Kai should be.

In a food coma, Yeonjun whines until they agree to go sit with him on a bench nearby until Beomgyu can see Kai through the gates. He wishes he could just enter like he did last night but it is too hectic now, and he'd be sure to be asked to leave.

His eyes are practically glued to the big site, wanting to catch a glimpse of his guy but his view is too blocked. He decides to call Kai, for the hell of it. He didn’t think the boy would answer since it was the middle of his job, but the lack of beeps and the tired hello proved him wrong. "Hey." Beomgyu struggles to hide his smile from his friends who tease him for being too easy to woo. "Where are you?"

"Just taking my break, I'm at work. You?"

"Actually, right outside your work." Beomgyu laughs shyly and Yeonjun gags along with Taehyun. "Is it alright if you come out for a few minutes?"

"I'll be there, you're not alone, are you?" He sounds worried. Beomgyu hurries to scurry those worried thoughts away, Kai has enough on him as it is. "No, I'm with Taehyunnie and Yeonjun-Hyung, although I feel the need to kick him into oblivion at the moment."

Kail laughs over the phone. "What did he do to warrant being kicked off into oblivion? Seems kind of harsh."

There is no way in hell Beomgyu tells Kai Yeonjun had talked about his dick, although it would be funny to hear his reaction to that over the phone, but they are not in that stage yet where he'd feel comfortable with that, so he just clears his throat awkwardly. "Oh, you know. Just his good old jackass ways."

"I'm not a jackass, and there he is-" Yeonjun waves to Kai, an obnoxious smile on his face. Beomgyu hangs up and rises from the bench. He skips over to Kai. "I got you something." He speaks.

"Again?" Kai questions. His hand reaches for Beomgyu's cheek, wiping the coal with his thumb. He smiles endearingly. Beomgyu looks at him with a confused face and wide eyes, Kai's skin is rough but warm. "Your whole cheek is black, silly." Kai laughs.

Beomgyu turns around and stares daggers at his friends. "Why didn't you say anything?!" he explodes adorably.

"Because…" Taehyun begins. "Well, multiple reasons, but mostly because it's fun."

He turns back. "See?" he blinks at Kai. "Do you see what I need to deal with every single day? They are bullies, big bad bullies." He says and Kai glances at the two guys sitting on the bench, both smiling innocently. Taehyun shrugs in front of Beomgyu's serious accusation.

"They're not very nice." Kai agrees, wiping the residue off Beomgyu's face. His cheeks are soft and pink. "How was your day so far?" he wipes his dirty hand on his work pants.

"The usual, we drew a sphere today, that was exciting."

"Well, it's no cube."

"And then I waited for Taehyun while he studied in the library. Which was a bore, considering he is no fun. We stopped to get Hyung, and then we went out to eat. Which reminds me." He shakes the bag. "Do you like noodles? – everyone does, otherwise, you're not Korean. It's chili oil noodles though, is that okay? I wanted to call and ask but I assumed you'd be unavailable."

"Anything edible is fine by me." Kai thanks him. "I'm glad you came by, Hyung." Beomgyu genuinely looks so pretty when he looks up at him, with shiny, beautiful light brown eyes.  He can't believe he is the one who gets to be at the receiving end of such a fond expression.

He feels warm whenever he receives something from Beomgyu, whether bandages or patches, food or drinks. For the first time in his life, he feels somewhat taken care of and it slowly changes the chemistry of his brain. He learns to accept what he gets, because maybe sooner than he wants, Beomgyu will stop passing by, or visit. He'd get bored of Kai and move on, to find someone better. When that happens, Kai wants to relish in the moments he has now with the older. As to not have any regrets.

The obvious staring makes Beomgyu blush and hide from Kai's eyes. "I should go back now," Kai says with a hint of sadness. He hesitantly reaches for Beomgyu's hand, aware of the two friends watching them with grossed-out eyes.

"It's like watching two baby deer trying to walk," Yeonjun whispers.

"You should, I don't want to keep you too long." he does, he does. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

Kai nods. "I'm looking forward to it," he confirms.

"Okay, So." Beomgyu swallows. "Bye, Kai."

"Bye, Hyung," Kai says back but they keep standing in front of each other and if you ask Yeonjun, they are being sickly sweet.

"Um." Beomgyu exhales, and stands on his tippy toes, planting a shy kiss on Kai's cheek. He quickly turns around, letting Kai stumble back, flustered, and tumble over a stranded rock on the side of the curb. He catches himself just as soon as Beomgyu glances back, waving him off.

Kai waves him off back, ignoring the snickers from Beomgyu's mean friends about the way he nearly fell. He's too overjoyed to care. His cheek feels warm, and tingly.

Suddenly, he doesn't feel too tired.

………………………………

Soobin sends him straight to the storage room; he can see the checkered blanket coming from a mile away and blames Beomgyu for making Soobin worry about him. The first five minutes of his shift, he has to convince the elder that he is fine, just a little tired which he is sure he can tell by the dark circles.

He collapses on the floor of the storage room not much later, his legs giving up and sprawled under him. He feels a heavy blanket over him, forcing him to sleep. His head only rested on the floor for a few seconds, but he was already drifting, clutching the blanket closer.

The sleep is blissful, and he sinks in it willingly, and happily. He can't not, even if he tried, his eyes just close by themselves, and he must comply. The low buzz from the refrigerator lulls him into sweet dreams about tomorrow.  

He feels if he tried to get up, his body would have no give. The tiredness overdoes him, the floor is hard, yet sleep is inevitable. He's almost tired to the point of hallucination, sinking into the floor, his mind entering the seventh dream world. It feels as if he hasn't rested in a week. Recharging himself should not feel this good, being tempted into sleep should not feel this heavenly.

Everything is in place, the position he is in on the floor, he thinks even if it was concrete outside, he'd still be comfortable. It's a little chilly in the room but he has a soft blanket over him and his body already does a pretty good job keeping itself warm.

It is not until Soobin wakes him up that Kai realizes how much he needs that sleep, and still does. His body begging to stay under the blanket, for just a few more minutes of shutting down. His eyes struggle to open, they keep going back down like window drapes.

He shakes his head, pulling the blanket over him. He turns around to avoid the nuisance that is his friend, and boss. His mind cannot process anything else other than going back to sleep, regaining energy, rest, rest, rest.

"If you do that, how am I expected to wake you? Hmm?" Kai hears. "I know you're tired, you should go home and sleep. it's more comfortable, isn't it?"

If Kai wasn't too tired to laugh, he would. Anything is better than his apartment on West Park. The humid, tight confinement isn't a place for humans to live in but it's close to work and that is the only reason he still pays rent for it.

"It's Sunday. You should go and sleep in your bed."

"… M' Kay." Kai says and returns to sleep. Just thinking about his apartment makes him appreciate where he is now. Soobin's voice is warm and kind, with not a hint of annoyance. "Do you want to sleep at mine? I'm driving anyway, and we need to leave together for the trip today."

At the proposition, Kai opens one suspecting eye and looks at Soobin. Soobin's apartment, filled with green plants and colorful flowers, it isn't big by any means, but the brown couch is inviting, and the humidity is none. And it is surely better than sleeping at his own apartment, and he doesn't care to pass through the people in West Park today, having to constantly be on edge just incase something happens. He's too tired for that.

"What do you say?" Soobin smiles, knowing he hit a spot. "You'll need to help me start the car, though. It's a little old, but it works if you give it some love. Come on, I'll be outside."

………………………..

Kai trudges out of the store after punching out of the system. His eyes are still sleep-puffed, and the early sun makes it difficult to open them all the way through. He shelters his eyes with a hand hovering over his forehead and comes out to the driveway.

He yawns and puts his hands in his pockets, stretching. "What should I do?" he asks sleepily.

Soobin shows him where and how to push the car while he is inside, trying to start it. Kai puts his hands on the back of the vehicle and pushes forward, at first it puts up a fight but soon enough the car beings to roll forward easily.

It bumps a few times, getting stuck but then continues to roll over. Soobin tries again and again to start it but with no success, they are already moving closer towards other cars and the highway which means they don't have much time before they'll need Kai to stop pushing.

"You're going to crash into those cars." Kai tells him from the closed window, but Soobin turns over the key in the keyhole again and finally, a roar is heard. It's short at first, stopping. But then the car roars again and it starts.

Soobin smiles victoriously, signaling Kai to get into the car. "I told you, just a little bit of love."

……………………….

Kai crashes on the couch, even before Soobin returns from his room with a blanket and a pillow for him, he sees the boy already knocked out and sighs. He drapes the blanket over him, and tucks the pillow under his head, moving into his room to get some needed sleep after their shift.

………………………

Sandwiches, cheese platters, fruits, ice cream bars and popsicles. The Choi family eats well. Kwan gets up early in the morning to fill the coolers in their vans with food for the day, which includes hotdogs and buns, pickle jars, and Kimchi. Cheese sandwiches with cold meat and tomatoes.

At around eight o'clock, Beomgyu gets up to a slow morning and begins to help his father with cutting, plating, and washing fruits to put inside of containers. It's the usual routine for them on the morning of the trip. Making enough food to feed an army, or in this case, five hungry young men.

They wrap the sandwiches, pack the fruits, and even cut up an entire watermelon. The task takes a few hours and at the end, they even through a few packs of instant ramen to make in the evening, on the portable stove like they do each year when the sun sets on the beach, they start a small fire and eat comfortably before returning to the van, sleeping the way back to Seoul while Kwan works the van.

This year will be no different.

Yeonjun and Taehyun arrive soon after the food preparations are done, leechers through and through. They walk in with their bags and packed swimsuits. Yeonjun drops his bag and opens the fridge as if it is his own, getting a cheery coke out and opening it. "Taehyun, sprite?"

"Cold?"

"Yeah."

"Then, sure." The redhead replies and thanks Yeonjun for the soda. They meet Beomgyu in the living room while Kwan sets up the van outside.

"Excited, little guy?" Yeonjun sits beside Beomgyu on the couch while Taehyun peeks over his shoulder to see who he's texting. "I'm 2 years younger than you, not a five-year-old." Beomgyu grumps and hides his phone from the eyes of the two ruthless hawks. "Stop looking!" he tells Taehyun.

"What?" the redhead defenses. "Jeez, you're so tight. So, where are they?"

Beomgyu leans back on the couch, fighting off a giddy smile. "Kai said they're on their way." He kicks his feet off the sofa. "God and yesterday, he looked so good!" he says with mild aggression. "I miss him already, why aren't they here by now." Beomgyu whines and throws his phone aside. "Also, his texts? He is so cute; he types with little emoticons-"

Taehyun and Yeonjun listen with blanket faces, waiting for the daily rant to be done. the two have already found a way to avoid storing useless information about Kai by zoning out and nodding.

"I might cry, guys." Beomgyu sighs. "I might just cry, he is the word cute personified." He shakes his head.

"Are you done?"

"Yes."

"Good, because I just heard the bell ring," Taehyun says and watches in amusement how Beomgyu's eyes widen, and he shoots out of the couch to be the first to open the door. He readies himself when he's standing in front of the closed door, breathing deeply and reminding himself that he is just a boy, just another boy. No reason for him to panic.

"Hey-" the wrong die in Beomgyu's throat – quite comically, in fact, he closes his mouth like a fish and his eyes turn to boba balls.

Kai's wearing a fitted shirt. That wasn't one of the scenarios that ran through Beomgyu's head when he pushed the door handle. His mouth dries up, staring like a fool. While Soobin slips past the door, amused at the scene he just witnessed, he figures this might take a while, so he leaves the two alone to gawk at each other freely.

Kai laughs. "Hey, Hyung." Other than the fitted shirt, he wears a pair of pants Beomgyu had seen before on him, so no surprises there, thankfully. The shirt is just about enough to make him wish he was driven into a wall. "Can I come in?"

Beomgyu blinks. "Right!" his voice breaks, he reddens. "Come in." he clears the path and steps back into the apartment, defeated and too whipped for his good. He can only hope that his friends haven't witnessed his loss of words although they had their fair share of his foolishness around Kai already, so even so, he doesn't think they are any surprised.

He carries a bag, his usual bag. Beomgyu wonders if it is heavy and if his back hurts carrying it.

"Hey, man. Soda?" Yeonjun doesn't bother to greet Kai the normal way, shoving a soda can into the poor guy's hands without waiting for an answer.

Kai stammers. "Um- sure." He smiles awkwardly. Soobin already sits on the couch, so Kai sits next to him, dropping his bag on the floor and opening the can. "what are we waiting for?" he asks when he sees Yeonjun make himself comfortable on the sofa, stretching his hand back and leaning his head against the head-rest, popping a pink bubble gum in a quite obnoxious way.

"For Kwan to load the car. We'd help, but I just had breakfast so I'm feeling kinda heavy." Yeonjun sighs and stretches his back.

Kai gets up. "Is he outside?" Now, in no way is he offering to help Kwan because he thinks it'll grant him points with Beomgyu, his son. He's doing it out of pure will…. And a little because he thinks it'll make a good impression. But only a bit, really. He steps outside into the driveway which is out from the back door, he hears music from a big Bluetooth speaker, so he assumes following it is the right answer.

The van is – interesting looking. That is what first pops into Kai's mind, that and colors. So many colors and doodles on the vehicle, not a single inch isn't drawn on. There are characters on the van, comical and funny and they remind him of graffiti on the street walls. On the side of the van, in graffiti, ballon- writing is signature the name Beom. With a drawing of a tiger in bold, orange and stripes black lines, it's clean but in your face and incredibly colorful. It's funky in a way that makes you understand why people don't just draw realism and views, and everything that is considered fine art. It's street art, creative art, and weirdly comforting art.

From the pictures hanging on the walls of the Choi family home, he had gotten the idea that Beomgyu was an artist but all the pieces he had seen from him were calm, serene, and in place. This is messy yet in Kai's eyes, it feels organized, like it has a certain order. It's blunt but it's not obnoxious

It's a new side of Beomgyu he has not gotten to see yet, something messy and silly and unapologetic.

"Do you like it?"  

He turns around. Beomgyu stands behind him, beaming yet small, almost polite smile as if he is asking the person standing in his gallery, like you'd approach a customer. His smile turns smug when Kai wordlessly nods; captivated. "It's incredible." He says for lack of better words. "How does one do that?"

Beomgyu laughs. "With brushes and pints of paint, of course. A few spray cans too"

"You know what I mean," Kai speaks quietly. The music in the background is soft rap, Kai doesn't know why he's surprised by the song choice, but he is. "It's amazing, Hyung. Your hands are so talented."

"My hands or me?" a playful smile spread on Beomgyu's face.

"Both," Kai answers candidly.

Out and down the van's stairs emerges Kwan, in a colorful Hawaiian shirt and flower chain on his pants. The most striking thing of all is the streak of pink Kwan's hair that completes the odd ensemble. Out of pure bedazzlement, Kai just stares. "I know I look dashing," Kwan says with a silly voice. "Do you want a Hola chain too?" he asks, quite genuinely; thinking Kai is jealous of his Hawaiian style. He goes back to the van to fetch a chain for the young boy.

"He wears that every year, we've come used to it, but from a third-person perspective, I ask of you to not think of us as lunatics. It's just my dad, I swear."

"So, your dad is a lunatic?"

"A lunatic with a Hawaiian shirt, now tell me it's not less intimidating?"

Kai snorts "Very much so – Thank you, Sir." He takes the Flower necklace, wondering how he should put it now. "Let me." Beomgyu offers, he slings the wide, long necklace over Kai's head, and fixes it on his neck, with a focused, yet amused face.

"How do I look?"

"Like a soul searcher who got entangled in a Hula circle on his way out of the vicious island, he found himself stuck on."

"You look like you are ready to vacation!" Kwan pats Kai on his shoulder. "Very appropriate. Want to help me load the coolers, big guy?"

"Sure." Kai jumps at the chance to do what he had come here for, to begin with. Beomgyu, however, pins him with a worried glance. Kai nods as if to say it's fine and Beomgyu relents.

He picks up one of the coolers, and it's nothing in weight compared to the things he moves from place to place on the site. His back strains a little, but it has become a common thing, something he was used to. Either way, he moves the coolers at ease, not like Kwan should do that at his age. Although he doesn’t seem old at all, Kai would feel that he is not up to par enough to stand idly by while he’s lifting heavy baggage.

The inside of the van is just as unique; the Chois sure has a distinctive style. It is not as screaming neon; the orange couch is easy on the eyes. The coolers are faded blue, and family photos are scattered all over the walls of the van. He sets the cooler aside, straightening his back. his eyes rack through the pictures; curious. He drinks the memories screaming from the photo paper, he can hear every picture, not one is static, the usual family photos where everybody politely lines for a flash.

They are mostly blurry, pictures of Beomgyu running on the beach as a kid, mouth open as if he's happily yelling. A fireplace, Yeonjun stuffing his mouth with a large hotdog bun, Taehyun behind him, laughing. In another picture of Beomgyu and Yeonjun, Yeonjun makes Beomgyu devil ears without the boy knowing, smiling carefree. In one picture the three are playing in the salty water, drowning each other.

There are fairy lights over the pictures, lighting the van in faded yellow. It feels all too nostalgic, and intimate. The pictures are endless, all of which give him a warm, joyful feeling. He can see Beomgyu grow up in those pictures, year by year, peeking into a seemingly happy childhood.

Kai's parents don't own a camera, at least they didn't when he was growing up but if they had one, Kai thinks there wouldn't be much of their life, his childhood, that was worth capturing. Nothing like what he sees on this wall. A wave of ugly jealousy overcomes him, and he knows he shouldn't feel this way, but he wonders if it's too much to want memories like those. Carefree memories.

He feels as if he missed something, can he long for something he never had? He looks at those pictures and there is a pull in his chest, a pull to those happy expressions on everyone's faces, the silly pictures, he wants that. He wants to enter them, to experience them, not just as the nineteen-year-old he is now, but the five-year-old kid he was, the eight-year-old boy he was, the third teen-year-old teen he was. He wants in, into this life, into a life that isn't his own, filled with uncertainty, instability, and pain.

The people in the Polaroid, look free. Kai's chest drains, it feels stuffy, it beats, and it wants in, it wants in so desperately, to feel just as free.

But it's not his life, he can only taste it. He can only dip his toes into it but at the end of the day, he goes back to his own.

Kai recognizes Brownie's barking; it pulls him from the pictures. And although he doesn't want to look away, it's also too painful to continue looking at what he could have had if he wasn't poor. His heavy chest resigns when he steps out of the van, maybe the trip was a mistake, but he doesn't want to back out now.

He hopes Brownie doesn't smell jealousy and bitterness on him. Beomgyu shortens the leash on him and Yeonjun steps out into the driveway with Toffy, a white Pomeranian. He kneels to pet Brownie, finding comfort in the way the dog looks at him so fondly, licking his palm. "Is he coming too?"

Beomgyu nods. "Yeah, my dad thought fresh air would do these two some good. Toffy likes the beach, the other puppies not so much, we learned that the hard way." He laughs. "We had to cut one trip short 'cuz of it, from then on we only bring Toffy."

At the mention of her name, Toffee turns around herself, wagging her tail. She wears a blue thin vest, and her collar is made of a sort of blue fabric. "I sure hope with Brownie it'll be different." Beomgyu takes Toffee's leash from Yeonjun. "Although I have a feeling he'd enjoy the sand."

"I call top bunk!" Yeonjun suddenly calls out.

Instead of waiting for Kai to responds, Beomgyu looks at Yeonjun with an offended look of his face. "Hey!" he blinks, and a thick accent comes from his throat, a dialect Kai has heard once before on the site, Helvar. He is from Daegu, usually he hides his accent well but when he is particularly frustrated, when things aren't going according to plan, a string of curses in heavy dialect will follow. "You can't call top bed until we are all in the van!" Beomgyu erupts. "Dad, Hyung is trying to cheat again!" he snitches and Yeonjun pushes his shoulder.

"Yeonjun," Kwan comes around the corner. Seemingly used to the bickering and trained on handling it properly. "You know the rules." Is all he says. His scolding voice highly contrasts his vibrant clothing choices. It's quite the humorous sight.

Yeonjun rolls his eyes. "Whatever." He glares at Beomgyu. "Snitches get stiches." He whispers.

"Oh no," Beomgyu sticks out his tongue. "I'm terrified." He says indifferently "Come on, Toffy. Let's go inside." He clicks his tongue, a sigh for her to follow. He turns his head and smiles at Kai. "You 'coming?"

Chapter Text

Taehyun gets top bunk if only for the sole reason of Beomgyu and Yeonjun almost lunging at each other for that spot, so much so that Kwan steps forward and gives the two corner-time, and Taehyun the luxury of the top bunk in the beds section of the van.

Kai doubts that the beds will be necessary since a couch is also there, and the drive is nothing more than a few hours, so the fight is useless. The two know this as well, but they seem to argue for the principle of it.

The booth is big enough for five people to sit around. They pass gummies from a pack of Haribo and chocolates between them, and Beomgyu gives his dad some while he drives.

"No fair, you had two aces."

"No," Taehyun smirks. "I pulled two aces, it's not my fault I have luck by my side, on the other hand-"

Yeonjun pushes his cards aside. "You sneaky little shit, we know your sly hand tricks already. You won five times in a row, someone else must deal the cards." He eyes Soobin.

They argue between the four of them about who needs to deal with the cards for the next game, it tips on Soobin because he seems the most reliable. They would have picked Kai and Beomgyu but the two are too infatuated with each other to care about the game, let alone put any effort to win, even though the game is mostly luck and nothing else.

Beomgyu holds the five, worn-out cards from over the years in his hand, not paying any attention to what he got dealt, though. For some reason, some truly unknown, stupid reason he chose to sit next to Kai, thinking it would be all right.

Nope.

Kai smells like soap. And yeah, maybe it is not an outstanding kind of smell, it's soap. Regular, probably drugstore soap. But it's not the soap, as it is the fact that Kai smells good. Simply good. And Beomgyu doubts that if it were anybody else, he'd be this struck. No, it's one hundred percent Kai's fault for just being himself.

The booth is cramped, even though it's meant to seat at least six people. His knees knock into Kai's legs without meaning to, he tries to put a distance between them the first time it happens, but after the third time, he accepts his fate.

Every time they accidentally touch, he forgets what card he wants to put down. Getting rid of whatever his hands can find when it's his turn. He gulps, glancing at Kai. He puts down a four of hearts and his eyes meet Beomgyu's, keenly aware of their closeness.

He comes last every single round which would normally make him the slightest bit upset, call him childish but he had abandoned games before because of it but now he really can't bother to be bothered.

His friends normally tease him for the streak of astronomical losses. He, in return, just smiles dumbly and tells them to deal again.

Brownie finds a place on Kai's lap, sleeping soundly. His wagged tail hits Beomgyu's knees methodically. "Hyung, want to trade?"  Kai says quietly while the other bicker about the correct rules of the game.

Beomgyu turns his head aside, blinking. Kai shows him his cards. Ace and two of hearts. His head tilts sideways. Those are pretty good cards, if not the best deal you can get at the very start of the game, why would Kai want to trade? It's a guaranteed win unless someone magically has better cards which isn't likely.

He shows Kai his cards. "Why?" he asks dumbfoundedly, making sure his queen of hearts and ten of diamonds are visible to Kai.

Kai shrugs. "Don't you want to wipe the smirky smiles off their faces?" he smiles playfully. "It's the last one." He reminds Him, shoving his cards into Beomgyu's palm and taking Beomgyu's into his head.  

Whether Kai is aware that he is the sole reason for Beomgyu's demise in the game or not, he goes back to playing as usual, petting Brownie with his very pretty, albeit rough hand.

Beomgyu, of course, ends up winning if not only because of Kai's cards. Frankly, he had thought he was hopeless even with them but he ranked first, taking the opportunity to stick his tongue to his friends and flipping them off. It's a little low of him considering he and Kai both cheated. He couldn't care less, though.

He sneaks a peak at Kai and the other looks back, giving him a barely-there wink that sends Beomgyu's heart into a mini spiral he hopes no one notices.

The group changes into a game of Monopoly, which ends on a bad, dirty note with Yeonjun flipping the board after Taehyun refuses to pay him for the hotel he owns because, according to the redhead, "they had bad service, and the owner was ugly."

After that, they decide to unwind by watching old cartoons on Soobin's laptop, all huddled on the same side of the booth. They revisit their childhood memories by watching the cartoons they grew up on and singing together the theme songs treasured in their minds.

Yeonjun and Beomgyu duet loudly, off the top of their lungs, swaying from side to side with their eyes closed. It's lively, it's ridiculous. Kai sways his body sideways to their screeching voices, enjoying despite not knowing the lyrics at all.

The views from the van change vastly from city to rural, back to a city, to landscapes. There are miles of greenery and nothing else. There may be a goat here and there.

It's getting hotter in the van a few hours into the drive. Beomgyu whines about the heat and opens a window, sitting beside it while the warm wind messes with his hair and properly tangles it into something akin to a nest of birds. After a satisfying few minutes, he rises from his place to sit next to his dad. "How much longer?"

In the background, the songs change from Summer Breeze to an old hip-hop song by Epic High that sets the mood for the day's carefree vacation that's ahead of them. Kwan moves his head to the song, familiar with the lyrics and melody much more than his son. He pulls his nose. "About half an hour or so, you should know… we've made this path many times already."

"Everything looks the same." Beomgyu reasons, or rather defends his lack of sense of direction. "A road is a road."

His dad switches lanes. "Look here," he points. "See this sign?"

Beomgyu follows his dad's finger to a green sign that says "Autuum's picking farm" and under it an arrow points to the left. "Well… " Beomgyu scratches his knee. "I guess we're close then."

"Right." Kwan laughs. "Use your eyes next time."

Beomgyu huffs. "No need to be mean." He says with no real bite in his voice. He hops on over, the best that he can inside the crammed-up van. They never had so many people here. His mom did join a few trips here and there when she wasn't working, but they only had five people tops. It's a little tight, but Beomgyu wouldn't have it any other way.

Like his father says, the more the merrier, and he is as merry as humanly possible.

Kai has since the cartoon binging bid Beomgyu his apologies and asked whether they could wake him up when they get to the raspberry farm. Initially, he was going to stick it out until the end of the drive but he fell asleep in the middle of watching cartoons. So, gracious Beomgyu told him it would be fine to step down and go take a nap if he needed it.

It's not like he was unaware of Kai's god-awful sleep hours and was well aware that only the fact that he came at all is a testament to the affection he has for the older boy. Beomgyu was afraid he wouldn't be there at all, after what had happened. If a nap is what Kai needs now, Beomgyu would give him the whole day too. As long as he is near.

Despite the loud bickering at the beginning, Kai ends up taking the top bunk as the rest are busy gaming on Soobin's Nintendo. Very boyish, and very on-brand with his friends.

He, however, takes a seat on the carpeted floor of the van, pulls out his sketchbook, and passes the little time that's left sketching the faces of his friends, excited and thrilled expressions while they play without worries.

Toffee seems particularly invested in Beomgyu's sketches, shoving her pink, moist nose into the sketchbook and leaving a wet dot on the pages. Beomgyu hisses at her but pets her tail either way.

He draws her next, taking a beige-orange crayon from the box under the van's seats, stored by younger Beomgyu during the very first trip to Busan he and his parents made. He colors the sketch, deep in his zone enough to not notice the presence over him.

Kai takes a careful, silent seat next to Beomgyu, not wanting to pull him off his rather talented trance. He's still a little fuzzy from his sleep. Beside him, still trying to shake off sleep remanent is Brownie, who joined him in his unprompted nap. His partner in crime.

He looks over at the detailed sketch of Toffee's furry face. the shine in her eyes made by two dots of white ink in each of them. "Can I have a look at that?" he speaks when Beomgyu stops for a few seconds to analyze his sketch and deems it good by the small smile on his face. Kai assumes he is done.

He speaks softly but Beomgyu still jumps in surprise, although it's rather mild. His smile grows when he sees it's Kai. "Oh, you're awake." He says as a matter of fact. Kai's face is sleepy, with his eyes still not fully opened as he cradles Brownie in his lap. A soft smile adorns his already perfect face, making it radiant.

"Can I?" Kai repeats himself.

"Oh," Beomgyu replies dumbly. "Eh, sure." He hands him the sketchbook without much thought behind what he is doing. Only when Kai starts to actually skim through the previous pages in the worn-out book does the lightbulb in Beomgyu's head light up and he realizes he doomed himself, badly. "Nooooo!!" a panicked yell comes from the deepest depths of his throat, lunging on Kai with his entire might, he yanks the sketchbook out of the younger's hands, ending with his torso partially on Kai's lap.

But the damage was already done, and not only did Kai manage to sneak a good look at a few of his drawings, but his yell pulled the attention of everyone in the van and made Kwan sway off the road for half a second due to the sudden commotion.

Beomgyu turns fully red. "Is everything okay back there, boys?"

"We're fine," Beomgyu replies in a squeakier voice than intended. Kwan begins driving again while both Yeonjun and Taehyun give Beomgyu a tilted look. He blinks. "I-"

"You drew me."

Beginning to understand the situation at hand, Beomgyu's friends' eyes widen, and Yeonjun snickers, pure gold to tease Beomgyu with later.

"You don't even have any pictures of me-"

"Can we talk about this later?" Beomgyu cuts him off, practically feeling his friends', and Soobin's gaze on him. Just as he asks this of Kai, his dad parks the car and announces that they have reached the farm.

Beomgyu swallows and looks into Kai's eyes. The other silently nods with an unreadable expression on his face. they stand up, and an awkward silence washes over the van and follows them as they get out onto the peddle-trailed road leading to the picking farm.

A fruity, almost tart scene reaches their noses as they step inside the wooded cabin. They stop near the counter where Kwan pays for 6 containers for them to fill out with raspberries from the fragrant trees outside.

While they wait for the owner of the farm, a sweet old lady to give them the containers and a tour around the farm so that they are all well-informed about the places where the berries are ripe enough to pick out, Beomgyu positions himself between Yeonjun and Taehyun and away from Kai.

He's still flushed, and hardly paying any attention to the nice lady explaining them through the little details. Besides, he's been there many times, he knows most of the know-it-alls already.

As if he's not already whipped his ass about handing Kai his sketchbook, he feels Yeonjun's shoulder knowing into his, and when he looks as he is met with a smug face. "Stalker." Yeonjun mouths.

Beomgyu purses his lips and elbows him in return, relishing the surprised 'oomf' Yeonjun lets out. "You deserved that." He whispers back, maybe a little too loud because his dad turns around and gives the two a stern look.

They pipe down.

Being handed the containers, they begin wandering outside between the trees, searching for the best, most red berries to snatch. Beomgyu keeps his distance from Kai even than, embarrassed, and conflicted on what to say to save himself and talk his way out of being a creep who draws people without their knowledge of it whatsoever. Granted, it's the first time he's done something like this.

Before he even met Kai, he was having, well, a long artist's block. The longest he had yet. His pencil would touch the paper, or his brush would touch the fabric on the canvas, but nothing came out. And what did was just an array of mess, a lame attempt to get something worthy out of his exhausted hands.

His professors assured him it was fine, normal, every artist experiences a wall between himself and his art. It was a regular occurrence, but after almost three months of not getting anything right, anything at all. Beomgyu started to get frustrated.

He stopped his classes, locking himself in his room until something looked right before he could come back. the sheer annoyance and shame of having to present theoretical shit in class for three months in a row killed his motivation to continue.

And then, that faithful night Kai came knocking on their clinic's door, he returned home the day after and cut a piece of canvas fabric from the roll in his room. He hung it on his wall, took out his trusty set of gouache paints, and for the first time in a long time, he didn't need to think and agonize over what to paint. He just knew.

Beomgyu can't really pinpoint when he started drawing Kai regularly. He just found himself sketching him whenever he had the time, sometimes just his face, he'd draw just his eyes, trying to replicate the tenderness in them, with the spec of sadness that accompanies it.

He'd do it many times, the eyes especially. But no drawing he did could compare to the real-life look in Kai's eyes. It was nothing a pencil could replicate. Not even the most expensive one.

The nose, lips, ears… he'd draw it all. Zoomed in, or full body. He started drawing Kai, a lot. It became more of a study, than a habit. He wanted to capture the vibe of him, the majestic features. He wanted to capture all of it.

Beomgyu walks through a line of berries, reaching his hand under the soft, green branches and leaves to harvest the best raspberries. Should he apologize? He thinks as he slowly fills his container. How to you even begin to apologize?

Did he make Kai uncomfortable in any way? He thinks as he tries to imagine being in Kai's shoes. It can either be flattering or incredibly off-putting. Beomgyu is leaning towards the off-putting, which makes him sweat.

Kai's reaction wasn't bad or good, which made him sweat even more. he belatedly realizes that the time he does have with Kai is quite precious considering opportunities like this don't offer themselves often. Not with how often Kai works.

Beomgyu turns in his tracks and tries to find Kai between the roes and tangled trees. Having five minutes of hard searching he finally spots the younger with the container in his hand, barely filled with anything. and what is there is hardly good berries, over-ripe and mushy. He frowns as he walks towards him.

"You need to lower yourself," Beomgyu explains. He squats. "Like this."

"Oh," Kai says and follows suit. "Didn't know." He laughs awkwardly and looks up, finding the good berries hiding underneath the good ones. "Ohhh," he gawks again. "That's your secret?"

"The good berries are always at the height of an eight-year-old."

"I see." Kai laughs.

While he picks three berries into his hand, Beomgyu clasps his. "So… "

Kai drops the berries into his container and turns his eyes to the side. "So," he says, amused. "I see you are done avoiding me." He simply says and tears his eyes away from Beomgyu, spotting a bunch and red berries.

Beomgyu stammers. "I wasn't-"

"It's fine, Hyung." Kai is quick to reassure. "It really, really is." He emphasizes so that Beomgyu feels less bad about it. "I would have done the same, actually."

"Still, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're sweet." Kai says very much to Beomgyu's surprise. "Can I have one?"

"Huh?"

"One of the drawings, can I have one? I want it signed, though. Your autograph is missing." Kai's container slowly fills itself as they walk through the roe. He picks berries as he speaks like he isn't spiking Beomgyu's heart rate up.

Did Kai like the drawings? He wants one. He wants one, and Beomgyu's heart soars. He wants one, with Beomgyu's autograph, no less. "Are you-" Beomgyu clears his throat. "Are you not like… " he bounces his legs. "Like, not creeped out or anything?"

Kai hums as he's looking for the right words to put together a proper sentence that wouldn't offend Beomgyu. "I was… surprised." He admits although he doesn't need to. Beomgyu could tell he was at the moment. "And umm- " Umm, very coherent, very. "I'm impressed, I didn't know an artist could draw from memory."

"Only you."

"Only me?" Kai questions.

"I can only draw you from memory, apparently." Beomgyu's cheeks burn crimson. "I tried drawing my mom once, but she came out looking kind of morphed." He shyly explains, wanting to ground to swallow him. "So…. " he trails off. "Only you, I guess."

"I see." A smug smirk stretches on his face. "So, I'm special in a way."

In many ways. "I guess you are."

 They continue their harvesting in silence, with a few stolen glances and joyed smiles. The sound of their breaths filling the air and the slight rustling of the leaves on the thin branches providing somewhat of music in the damp background.

"So," Kai is the first to speak for a while. "What's with the raspberries?"

Beomgyu pops a berry into his mouth, his lips colored a deep pink. "What do you mean?" he asks innocently.

Kai shrugs his shoulder, the corner of his mouth picking in a slight smile. "Why raspberries? Why Busan?"

"Oh." Beomgyu snorts. "Well," he clears his throat and brushes a few damp strands of hair stuck to his forehead from the beads of sweat gathered on his fair skin. "My mom started this tradition, when I was about… five?" his forehead creases as he tries to dig into his memory for the details of it all. "Six, maybe… anyways! My grandparents and my mom's parents live here. They're friends with the owners of this place. At first, we just came here because they offered a discount and a place to sleep upstairs, we've come here ever since though, because it turns out I love raspberries and traditions are inherently fun, don't you think?" He finishes his ramble with a question and a bright smile that makes his eye turn to crescents. He raises an eyebrow as he awaits Kai's response. "I mean, traditions are fun no matter what they are, aren't they? at least I think so… " He adds.

To this Kai has to disagree at a certain level. His idea of traditions is having to roll the pile of wool whilst sitting next to his mom as she knits their blankets for the winter from used, recycled fabric. Every winter, that's how it went, and he knows this winter as well, he would find himself sitting on the floor next to the torn couch, unrolling the wool for his mom. Thin soups for dinner in the winter, sunburns and heat exhaustion in the summer. Having to dig through the boxes on the street, labeled clothes for donations every year because he grew out of his. That was a tradition he stuck by.

A tradition of his was accompany his dad once a year to go fishing, at the very peak of the fishing season. They'd do it right before the winter comes, store what they had fished that day into boxes and pile snow on top to assure they stay frozen and ready to thaw and cook for the following months.

He doesn't know whether he finds those tradition fun. Yet, he answers- "Right." With an awkward laugh that follows. "This one is fun… "he agrees vaguely.

"I look forward to this trip each year. I wish we could do it more often." Beomgyu pauses. "But then, it might not feel as special, or as precious. Maybe it's for the best."

………………………….

The raspberries lie in a big, joined pile atop a large towel draped over the sand, after being thoroughly washes and dried by Kwan. He picks the towel and gently pours the berries into the cooler for them to enjoy at dinner.

"Catch!" Beomgyu throws a yellow tennis ball all the way to the water, following Brownie and toffy in the waves as they race to see who gets to the ball first.

"Hey!" Yeonjun is seen throwing his shirt on the sand, rushing to join his friends who are already dipping their feet in the cooling water. "Wait!" he runs, sand digging between his toes, flying in the air at his hurried feet. Taehyun and Beomgyu gang up on him as soon as he stands by them, he begs them not to but they pick him up and with joined laughs and a sneaky smile, they drop him to the shallow water where he emerges a few seconds later, drenched, confused… and mad.

Yeonjun begins chasing after them with a manic expression, out to get the first boy he can get his hands on. Beomgyu escapes him but his foot slips in the sand and he face-palms into the ground, eating sand everywhere. "Bleh-" he spits and laughs at himself. "Last to dive is a loser!" He declares a race and his two friends naturally follow.  

Someone bumps Kai's shoulder. "You 'coming?" Soobin sheds his dress shirt off, smiling as the scene only a few feet away from them. It seems like Yeonjun is trying to dunk Beomgyu's head into the water while Taehyun is hanging from his back, legs dangling in the air.

Kai nods, signaling Soobin to go first. He gulps nervously as he sees Soobin approaching the water and immediately the four conduct a chicken fight with Yeonjun on Soobin's back and Beomgyu on Taehyun.

He decides to enter the water without taking off his shirt, hoping the wet, white fabric won't reveal anything underneath. Just because Beomgyu knows, doesn't mean he wants the rest to find out as well, at least not now. Not today. Nothing to ruin today.

Overcoming his initial worries, once he does join the four in the shallow water, accompanied by soft, salty waves. No one questions why he is the only one dressed. They welcome him almost naturally, playing rock paper scissors to see who will be the one swimming all the way to the rock in the very distance.

Beomgyu playfully splashes water in his face, to which he closes his eyes and whines. He pushes his hands forward to avenge while the three boys avoid the splashing zone. "Hey! Okay, okay… stop!" Beomgyu pleads with a big smile that betrays his desperate voice. "You win! You win!"

"And I'm the best." Kai says suggestively, threatening to drench Beomgyu with salt water again.

"And you are the best." Beomgyu shields his face.

"And you like me." Kai says quietly to Beomgyu's surprise. His hands drop from his face, and he stares at Kai with a sincere look. "And you like me." Kai repeats himself once more.

Beomgyu swallows, turning bright red. "And I like you." He whispers.

"Good." Kai smiles. "Me too."

Beomgyu laughs.

"I like myself too."

"Hey!"

The texture of the wet sand is grounding to dig through. He sits crossed legged in front of Beomgyu's sandcastle, not helping with the task but rather providing company while the rest are still swimming around. Brownie and toffy wrestle between themselves, splashing excitedly as they hop in the water, their fur completely wet and running between the legs of Yeonjun and Soobin.

Beomgyu makes a protective tunnel around his castle, focused after the third time the waves had knocked his creation down. "Do you know Soobin a long time?" He suddenly pops a question.

The sand in Kai's hand falls naturally back to where it was, leaving a damp residue on his skin. "Since about I know you… " he answers. "A little while longer, but not by much."

Beomgyu raises his head and blinks. "Oh."

"Does it not seem like that?"

"You two seem close." Beomgyu provides in return.

Kai nods, waving his hands on the sand, creating patterns on the ground. "Hyung is a comfortable person, you know? Kind as well, it wasn't hard to trust him. We grew close quick, I guess." There is a noticeable pause in their conversation when Kai decides to add. "During my first shifts he, huh- allowed me to sleep in the storage room. Not every night." He says. "Just the ones he saw I needed it."

"Really?"

"Hmm." Kai hums. "At first I thought he was kidding, teasing me maybe. But no, he is just really that kind." He shrugs. "If it weren't for him, I probably would have failed holding a second job. So, naturally, I owe him quite a lot." Brownie paws dig into the sand as he gets closer, wagging his tail and leaving a wet trail on Kai's shirt that had already dried in the air.

Kai's hand rest on Brownie's drenched head, giving him a loving pat.   

Beomgyu had taken a break from the tunnel somewhere during Kai's words, listening intently as he gathers it's something he should pay attention to. "Rather than owe him, I think Hyung may have gotten you as a friend thanks to that. That's worth a lot."

"You think so?"

Beomgyu snickers as he glances at Taehyun trying to teach Soobin how to not drown in the water which doesn't go so well since he gives up in the midst of the lesson and tells him to just scream if he drowns and they'll do the rest. "You don't?" Beomgyu answers with a question.

Kai laughs softly. "Yeah… " it relaxed into a content smile. "Maybe."

The tunnel is halfway done, rough yet deep. Beomgyu wipes the sweat off his forehead leaving a trail of sand on his face. he pouts as the waves slowly come closer. "What about you three." He hears Kai asking. "Yeonjun and Taehyun?"

"Hmm." Kai confirms.

"We've been friends since I can remember." Beomgyu subconsciously smiles. "I'm not sure how we came about, though. I think it was around preschool; they latch on and never left my side." He says in pretense annoyance but it's apparent just how much he treasures them in his life. "I don't remember myself without them, honestly. I know they can be little pests sometimes, but in a way Yeonjun-Hyung had sculpted my personality a lot. I don't have siblings, and neither does he. I guess that's why we bicker so much, we kind of needed to have someone to pick on." He takes a deep breath and changes his position from cross legs to straightening his stiff legs and he leans back. "As for Taehyun, he's kind of always been that angle on top of my shoulder whispering don't do it at every really dumb idea I had. I might have made many stupid decisions if weren't for him."  

"Voice of reason?"

"That's Taehyun." Beomgyu laughs. "He does do stupid things himself, he's not all wise like that. But everyone's allowed a few moments of stupidity- Hey!!!" he gasps at the sight of his sandcastle completely ruined, plummeting to the ground, taking his hand work with it. In the middle of the pile of sand that used to be a detailed, tall castle in a footprint. Yeonjun's footprint. "Bully! Big Bully!"

Yeonjun runs away, delighted. He looks back, sticking his tongue out. "Sorry, I slipped." He says evilly.

"I'll kill him." Beomgyu whispers underneath his lips, getting up and chasing Yeonjun who sensed the danger, and his cocky smile turns to a fearful one. He picks up his legs and runs as well as he can with his feet sinking into the dry, slippery sand.

"I really did slip!!" he yells urgently, losing breath. "Hey, I sorry!!"

"These are you last days Choi Yeonjun!!-" Beomgyu's loud voice echoes around the beach, catching the attention and eyes of other vacationers trying to get tan and enjoy the breeze. "Mark my words! I'll Kill you-"

                                                                    ……………………………..

The sound of firewood crinkles. The five extend their hands in front of the flames, in attempts to warm up whilst Kwan in gone fetching the blankets from the van parked in the lot. Yeonjun is in fact, still alive and lending Taehyun his jacket until the blankets arrives.

Their clothes dry while on them, the heat from the fire speeding the process. The flames of the fire are enchanting to look at even without any other entertainment. Little specs of fire fly up and disappear midair, resembling little orange fireflies at night.

The water in the large pot on top of the metal deck over the fire boils to the brim. Yeonjun opens one pack of instant ramen after the other, dumping the noodles carefully into the pot alongside the seasonings and dries vegetables.

Soon enough, it starts smelling like Kimchi and beef stock. Beomgyu breaks a stick of dried beef, holding it in front of Toffee and letting her nibble at it until it's small enough for him to let go.

"Who's cold?" Kwan approaches with blankets drapes over his two shoulders. All fire raises their hands and get handed a fussy blankets each to wrap around themselves as they wait for the food to cook. The sandwiches prepared in the morning were long gone at lunch time and now Kwan opens the cooler and hands out the fresh picked berries.

The fruits stain Kai's hands, leaving pink stains on his rough skin. He eats them on by one, savoring the burst of flavor coating his mouth and leaving his breath sweet and scented.

"Whoever peed his pants until he was twelve-years old, fold."

Beomgyu appears to be entirely scandalized when Yeonjun looks at him, expecting him to fold on of his five raised fingers. "I wasn't twelve!" He defends his honor in front of his crush, mind you. His cheek turns crimson.

"Until he was Eleven and a half, fold." Yeonjun corrects himself.

Beomgyu folds his finger if not only to move past his embarrassment while Kai laughs beside him. "Whatever… " he whispers. "Whoever I found eating his own booger he picked out of his nose when he thought no one was looking," a devilish smile stretches on his face as he looked straight at Yeonjun. "Fold."

Yeonjun licks on mouth in disbelief, eyeing Soobin's reaction and thankfully the tall, dimples boy only seems to be amused by the exchanges interaction. "Fine." Yeonjun relents and folds his finger.

"You two are seriously disgusting." Taehyun shakes his head. "Whoever has a red blanket, fold." He targets Soobin who complies, although pouting. He folds and he, Beomgyu and Yeonjun only have four fingers while Kai and Taehyun have all five.

"My turn?"

The five nod.

Kwan sits down beside Taehyun and Yeonjun. "Whoever thought Hogwarts was a real place until he talked about it in class, and everyone laughed at him so much until the teacher had to call me to come and get him home, fold."

Taehyun bites his lips and Yeonjun snorts before swallowing his abrupt laughter, covering it up with a slight fake cough. "I was a kid!"

"You were fifteen!" Kwan laughs. "Fold, kiddo."

Everyone's eyes go from Kwan to Kai, waiting for him to speak. The boy stops petting the brown dog sitting atop of his lap and clears his throat, humming while contemplating who to target. He looks around for any physical tributes he can identify. "Whoever's shorter than me, fold." He decides to be vague but takes down five in one turn.

Yeonjun rolls his eyes and reluctantly folds, after him Beomgyu gives Kai a pout and folds as well together with Kwan and Taehyun. "Not fair." The red head complains whilst helping Kwan pour the ramen into even, wooden bowls.

"You should have been born taller, then." Soobin snickers, high-fiving Kai.

Yeonjun bunches his lips and breathes from his nose, thinking. He clutches the blanket higher, so it covers his chest. His mouth coats in saliva as Kwan sets a bowl of steaming ramen in front of him. The steam reaching and warming his cold face, thawing his red nose. "Whoever had a crush on their English teacher in high school and thought it was a good idea confessing his undying love to him with a poem… in front of the entire class, fold."

"I-" Beomgyu opens his mouth to object that only he knows Yeonjun is not a hundred percent loyal to what had happened. "Who had the same crush on the same teacher," he begins. "And copied the same poem from me with the names changed!" he accuses. "Fold, Choi Yeonjun." He presses his mouth into lines.

Yeonjun is left with two fingers whilst Soobin and Taehyun who laugh hysterically in the background both have three left but no air in their lungs. "Seriously?" Soobin asks the blond.

"He was hot." Yeonjun shrugs and bumps his shoulder into Soobin's in cancellation. "Doesn't hold a candle to you, though." He says that bit quietly. "Don't worry."

Soobin's laughter dies and only a pink tint on his cheeks left.

"Whoever has a crush on anyone in this circle, fold." Taehyun comes in strong knowing he takes four people down with one turn and as he expected, one by one, Yeonjun folds, then Beomgyu and Kai with Soobin caving last but eventually folding. Taehyun smiles victoriously and carefully pick up a bunch of noodles between his chopsticks and slurps it while suffering from the heat.   

Beomgyu looks around the circle to examine the lives each has left, surprised that Kai and Kwan are left with the most out of them all. "You have two left?" Kai asks him. "Yes." He answers, all pouty and adorable.

"Want one of mine?"

Beomgyu nods vigorously and Kai laughs at his enthusiasm. He folds one finger while Beomgyu raises his and now they each have three left. "Is that legal?" Yeonjun point and accuses the two of cheating, but Kwan allows it and Yeonjun has to sit back down with an annoyed huff. "Why aren't you offering me one of your fingers!?" he asks Soobin with a frustrated tone and the younger blinks and wonders how the situation flipped on him. "Sorry?" he half asks half apologizing.

"I can offer you one particular finger, Hyung." Taehyun says suggestively.

"You be quiet. Your turn, Grandpa."

"Whoever has dyed hair, fold." Kwan gets revenge on Yeonjun for teasing him. Yeonjun's blond hair sticks out like a sore thumb when he and Taehyun fold. "See what you did?" Taehyun blames Yeonjun and the older responds by saying. "Oldie can't take a joke."

Kai peacefully eats his ramen while the rest argue, chilling with three fingers knowing he won't get the penalty. Stress-free life. Eventually, surprisingly or not, Yeonjun ends up losing and having to clean everyone's dishes in the shallow water of the waves before returning with a sour face and drying the bowls and pot with a towel, helping Kwan load them back on the van.

The sun had set completely and Beomgyu blow in warm air from his mouth into his cocooned hands, trying to warm up. The rustle of the honey barbeque chips' bag opening, the smell of the buttered, honey coated popcorn and the sweetness of the self-made smores, perfectly burnt marshmallow is all he tastes and hears before Kai takes his cold hand in his. "You're so warm." Beomgyu notes. "How?" his skin is of rough textures, but he doesn't mind it much. It's a testament to how much time Kai works each day, of his commitment to keeping his head above the water and his persistence.

Beomgyu feels like he can sense Kai's way of living just by holding his hand like this, getting to know him second by second, fingerprint by fingerprint. Skin on skin. "How are you so cold?"

"I am cold." Beomgyu answers with simplicity and bites the marshmallow at the top of his skewer. It's sweet and sticky, leaving his lips sugary. "Want one?"

Kai shakes his head. "It's fine." He says, sipping on his hot cocoa Yeonjun was gracious enough to make him. Beomgyu tops his cup with a pile of whipped cream and Kai thanks him.

Their hands stay intertwined, without even thinking it too deeply. Kai's thumb soothes Beomgyu's chilly skin back and forth, brushing softly and mindlessly.

Yeonjun throws wood into the fire to keep it alive and then stuffs his cheeks with honey popcorn and eats it in silence while Taehyun secretly, but not so secretly takes pictures of his puffed cheeks in the small, baby blue camera. The flash goes off and he giggles as Yeonjun tries to snatch the camera from him to delete the picture.

They snap a few photos of Beomgyu and Kai who talk between themselves, sharing Kai's cup of cocoa without care, lovesick eyes and warm smiles. Even the flash can't bother their exchange of words.

Soobin makes a face when they snap a photo of him, but they drag him for a three-people selfie and he complies, smiling widely in front of the camera, making silly faces. They gather around, trying to fit the five of them in one frame. Soobin's hand in on Yeonjun's shoulder while his other hand holds the camera far away. Taehyun's head is peeking from their shoulder while Beomgyu leans his head on Kai's shoulder to fit in the picture, Kai leans his head atop Beomgyu's to make himself shorter.

It's hardly perfect and their positions are way too uncomfy to be pretty, but they are all in it eventually, until Brownie decides he want to be in the picture as well, jumps on his two legs and lands on them all, crumbling the structure.

Beomgyu takes a picture of Soobin and Yeonjun feeding each other chips and manages to take it before the bag of chips falls and they scatter all over the two's clothes. Beomgyu carries Taehyun around, running along the sand, blurry picture of them energetically running find place inside the camera's film.

They fall on the sand, exhausted.

The fire crinkles and Kai bunches the blanket in his fist, his hand cards through Beomgyu's ashy hair, the boy breathing soundly as he drifts in and out of sleep. Yeonjun recites a scary story he remembers from his middle school days and Taehyun yawns, sleepily snacking on popcorn.

They see a figure approaching as soon as Yeonjun's story comes to the climax and Taehyun swallows a scared yelp. "It's just Kwan." Yeonjun laughs at his friend's tendency to be a little chicken. "Done napping old man?"

"You're lucky I'm rested and happy or else I'd be sleeping behind the wheel." Kwan replies. "Come on, boys. Until next year."

Chapter Text

"You're lucky I'm rested and happy or else I'd be sleeping behind the wheel," Kwan replies. "Come on, boys. Until next year."

A choir of groans and disappointed ahs and damns is heard throughout the group. Kwan throws his hands in the air as if to say what can I do? Sorry guys. Yeonjun turns around to face Beomgyu's dad. He plasters a sad pout on his face, brushing his palms together as if begging. "Ten more minutes. We'll be good on the ride back, promise. Please…" his eyebrows rise in expectation as he drags his words.

"You all have college tomorrow, and Kai has work to get to tomorrow as well. Am I not right? Can't keep you guys out too late, as the responsible adult." He ends the negotiations. "You can have ten minutes to tidy up in here. I'm waiting in the car."

"Ugh." Yeonjun drops his pleading hands and rolls his eyes. "Fine."

Kwan begins moving towards the car. "If you are not in the van in ten minutes, I'm leaving without you." He warns with his back facing the five dejected boys. He hears a muttering bundle of reluctance agreement behind him and laughs.

Kai takes his hand off Beomgyu's soft hair and looks around them. The open knit rug under them, the clutter of open snack bags, and the bare skewer stick with a little bit of white and pink marshmallow still stuck to them. "Rock-paper-scissors?" He offers, seeing the other three are not too keen on starting to clean up.

"Bring it on." Yeonjun almost immediately agrees. He kicks Beomgyu's bum with his shoe to nudge him awake. "Hey! Drool-face," he calls. "Wake up, we're playing Rock-Pe' to decide who's cleaning up."

Beomgyu, who was ruthlessly pulled out of his sweet sleep, blinks in confusion although tries to get along with it. "O-okay." He doesn't quite seem to get it but joins with a closed fist anyway.

Taehyun and Soobin are already prepared with their gesture in mind. "Rock!" Soobin calls. "Paper- Scissors! Shoot!"

They all open their fists. "Beomgyu… " Yeonjun squints his eyebrows. "What even is that?" he questions the gesture Beomgyu is doing that does not look like rock, paper, not scissors.

Beomgyu rubs the sleep off his eye with one hand and still the other. "It's a gun." He answers slowly. "Pew-pew. I kill you all, can I go sleep in the van?"

"You are disqualified." Taehyun declares mercilessly. "Automatic loss. Good job."

"Respect the gun, guys." Beomgyu tries to defend himself. "No." Taehyun shuts his off almost simultaneously.  

While the rest did rock Kai did paper and so, annoyingly so, the three boys stand up in victory, smiling obnoxiously at Kai and Beomgyu. "Enjoy cleaning you two." Yeonjun makes little fake kissing sounds and skips happily towards the van, slinging his arm over Soobin's joyous form.

Silence engulfs the two left sitting on the blanket. "Who even suggested that stupid game anyway?" Beomgyu sulks as he gets up, stretching his stiff legs and arms. He takes a good look around the extinguished bonfire.

"Ah." He hears behind him. "I did," Kai admits in a timid voice. "Sorry." He apologizes with a genuine sorry tone and Beomgyu instantly feels bad even opening his mouth to complain. He was almost positive it was either Taehyun or Yeonjun, the lazy hags would do anything to avoid doing their chores. "You can go, I-I'll take care of it." Kai offers quickly, bending down and picking up the bags speedily to prove his willingness but a pained sigh leaves his lips, a pained sigh he had been keeping in all day.  

"Hey, no-" Beomgyu bites his lip. "Your back, get up please." And if Beomgyu hadn't sounded so adamant Kai would not have listened. The please did sound pretty and Kai would not dare comply. He carefully straightens up and puts his hands in his pants' pockets while looking entirely awkward yet adorable, in Beomgyu's eyes at least.

"Sit there," Beomgyu demands, orders even. Smiling a little bit when Kai does what he is told. He does object, though. "I can't just sit while you do all the work." He looks at the sand. "It was my suggestion in the first place… " he mutters.

Beomgyu shrugs. "I'm glad it's just the two of us now, anyway. Don't be too sorry. I should thank you for letting me drool on your pants, my bad."

"You didn't drool-"

"Yeah right."

Kai snorts "You didn't drool that much."  

"Well." Beomgyu neatly folds the beach blanket. "I think I know the answer to this already… but, did you have fun today?"

"I did." A blissful smile rises as he answers. He's a little shy admitting it, but he had the most fun he's had in… probably forever. Maybe longer than that. The memories he made with the five of them, might just live in his mind forever and he has Beomgyu and Kwan to thank for that.

He doesn't have much good to reminisce on. When life is tough he doesn't have much to return to. Much memories to wander about to ease his bad days. But today… today might just be that for him. A comfortable, warm memory to dive into when he needs it.

It wasn't just the rest he needed or the fun he had. This day took meaning beyond just fun. It was something he had been waiting for all his life.

He looks up after a long silence between them to find Beomgyu looking down at him, his eyes are glassy, or maybe he is imagining they are. Perhaps it's the night lighting shining on them.  Beomgyu frowns. "Did I- I say something wrong?"

Beomgyu, while still frowning and seemingly deep in thought, brushes Kai's question off. "No, no… nothing. I'm-" he pauses and ties the garbage bag close. "I'm happy you enjoy yourself. Really, really happy. You have no idea how much… really."

Kai's face turns more and more confused by Beomgyu's words. "Then why the long face?"

"When we get in the van… " Beomgyu looks down and the bag sags in his hold. "And, you know. In the morning we'll go back to normal, just-" he swallows. "You'll be okay, right?" his question is said quietly as if he doesn't want to ask and doesn't want a truthful answer.

Kai's eyebrows bunched together. "What do you mean? Why… why won't I be?"  

Even since he found out about Kai, about his job, whenever he is not in proximity Beomgyu gets anxious. Did something happen? Is something going to happen? Is Kai, okay? Where is he? Who is he with? All sorts of questions plagued his mind and seeing the candid happiness adoring Kai's face the entirety of the day made him realize that he hadn't seen much of that candid happiness before. It had made him realize that the Kai he knew before today was excited, at times, content at times, worried at times, and hurt at times, but never happy. Never fully.

And Beomgyu knows this day can't last forever no matter how much he wants it to last forever, no matter how much Kai wants it to. Tomorrow morning, he'll go back to work and Beomgyu will only see glimpses of him throughout the day, sit and talk shortly if they are lucky enough to.

He'll attend college and Kai will be at the site and this day will just be… a memory.

But Beomgyu wants to see Kai happy again, truly happy. Weightless. Flying. Like today. Always. And he hates that that's probably not going to be reality.

……………………….

Kwan glances at his watch. "What's taking them so long?" he asks, not impatiently but in genuine wonder.

Yeonjun blows a pink gum bubble as he expands his body on the blue couch, not in a rush at all. "Give them time old men, haven't you ever been seventeen and in love?"

"Okay, first of all, they are not seventeen." Kwan doesn't let any opportunity to correct Yeonjun pass by. "Secondly, I am fifty-three and in love, but always punctual."

……………………….

"I just want you to be happy."

"I am."

Beomgyu shakes his head. He doesn't know how to convey this feeling in his chest, this bitterness of knowing he cannot do anything to help Kai, ease him, or get him out of his situation, out of West Park, out of that job. He's just a bystander and it hurts. "I know you're tired, Kai." The name rolls out of Beomgyu's throat and even though what he is about to say is the honest, hard truth he still tastes the sweetness out of that name. "When I visit you at work, the moment between you not noticing me yet to your smile when you do, I can tell you hate it. I can tell you're tired. You're not happy, Kai." He calls him out because it's true.

Kai isn't happy. He's in a nightmare that doesn't have an end. Because being poor means that you are always almost drowning. You are always just a little above the water but if you stop swimming for even just for a second to catch your breath, you drown. And Kai's been swimming all his life and yet, if he stops to take a breather, he might not make it back to the surface.

He's tired from wanting to breathe. That is the worst part about having no money. You are utterly exhausted, but you can't stop either, or then you start to hate everything. You're stressed all the time, crushed by bills and fines and debts that keep appearing from every corner, and just when you've saved up enough to think I can make it, I can crawl my way up. Something new will pull you down.

And you think what's the point? You kill your own body yet at the end of the day you are back where you're started. Never with a proper chance to live differently, better.

How can one not get tired of this life, this endless race? If you stop, there is no getting back up.

The terrifying thing is that Kai saw what stopping does to people. People he knew from his neighborhood. His childhood friends, the few he had the ones he remembers playing with in the dirty mud on cold days… are now gone. He witnessed them, one by one, turn into drugs, and prostitution on both ends of the coin, and become beggars at the side of the street.

"Beomgyu, I-"

"Please, quit." Beomgyu looks at him and his eyes are filled with wistful hope for something to change within Kai. That he'll understand that this is not how things are meant to be. But then again, the fact that they come from different upbringings should make Beomgyu wonder if this is all Kai sees when he comes home, to West Park.

 However, Beomgyu could not care less about their differences, all he knows is that people are meant to be happy, one way or another, poor or rich. There is always a different way.

"Quit that job," he says with spite, even though the defeated expression on Kai's face tells him his words are in vain. Kai has worked and works utterly blinded by responsibilities for himself, for his family to pause to think that maybe, he can do this differently. Without giving up himself.  "I'll help you look for a new one," Beomgyu won't stop, despite Kai's resignation.

Because maybe… maybe if Kai has the support he needs, something stable and kind in his life, he'll understand that even if he stops, for a little while, they'd be there to hold him over the surface of the water.

 "I'll print resumes, and I'll scatter the city for hires, and job openings. I'll even stop at every construction site and mention your name. Just-" He inhales sharply. "Please, don't stay there." His voice twinges with a subtle pleading.  "Hmm?"

"Beomgyu… " Kai says with a sad resolve. "I have a contract. Even- even if quitting was an option… I'd have a fine to pay if I left like that." He swallows, stumbling over his words because Beomgyu stares him down so intensely. He doesn't think he even so him this serious.  

 "I can't stop just because I'm tired, Beomgyu. E-everyone is-" his hands start to tremble in the chilly air. "I can't quit… " Telling Beomgyu no, while seeing just how hopeful, yet devastated the expression on his pretty face is. He can't see a way out from the lifelong maze he's been trying to find the exit from. There is something shameful in admitting he accepts the way that he lives, the places he works, and the way he's willing to get beat up for the extra money every month. There is something wrong and twisting in admitting that he'd let his body go through a lot worse to pay the bills, to support his family with the little he's got. If only it meant he'd stay off the street and have a roof over his head.

And in that mindset, Kai is led to believe he is lucky to have a job that covers all of that. He's getting hours of work in, getting a good paycheck for that, truthfully, it's a lot more than people he knows from his home place get.

If anyone he knows gets dirt every single day, but he gets a few coins, he considers himself lucky, even if those coins come with a little pain on the side.   

"So, what… " Beomgyu's voice shakes. However much he tries, he won't be able to get inside Kai's thoughts, and get to the bottom of understanding why, and why he does it to himself when he can choose otherwise. "You'll go back there?" His voice frayed, barely audible anymore as he actively realized that no matter what he said, Kai wouldn't change his mind.

Kai's head jerks to the side, only slightly, and his back and shoulders stiffen as if he heard something he shouldn't. A flicker of confusion crossed his face at the fragile sound of vulnerability he picked up on from Beomgyu's voice, something he hadn't heard from him so far.

Only a cheerful, at times embarrassed or excited tone, but never this. Worst than knowing Beomgyu can't seem to grasp the level of helplessness he's in, he realizes those tears standing in Beomgyu's lash line are partial tears of anger towards Kai, towards his choices that continue to hurt them both.

He sounds like he's about to cry and Kai would be the reason for that. On this sunny beach day, on this windy night, the last thing Kai wants is to see tears fall from Beomgyu's eyes. His face hardens, the almond eyes no longer hopeful, but frustrated and confused.  

"Hyung…" he says, and damn if the sound of his heart shattering over Beomgyu's tear-filled eyes isn't as loud as a gunshot. "I.." All words suddenly leave his mind because nothing he will say can make Beomgyu believe that he is fine. Eventually, the only thing he can say is that. "I am happy, the happiest a boy like me can be."

And with that, he wants to wipe the tear on Beomgyu's cheek but the older looks away from him and does it himself. In the end, there are no more words to be said. Tomorrow, Kai will go back to work. Tomorrow, Beomgyu will attend his classes. After this day, they'll go back to routine. Whether they like it or not.

They go back to the van, each hoping in their way that the four-hour drive will become endless.

…………………….

This is so not what Yeonjun had expected to see when the two lovebirds came into the car. Correction: this is not the type of vibe he expected there to be as soon as Beomgyu and Kai entered the van. A kind of suffocated silence their conversation took from the wind straight to the car.

It shuts down the casual flirting between him and Soobin, as they both read the expressions of the two incomers, and something tells them all that silence may be a good option for the meantime.

Beomgyu mumbles something to Kai, about how he should at least get some rest before tomorrow. Kai nods almost obediently, and quietly and avoids Beomgyu's red-rimmed eyes. He passes by Yeonjun, Taehyun, and Soobin to the beds at the very back of the van, giving them only a bashful glance and an uncomfortable clearance of his throat before disappearing into the mattress.

It seemed as though even the puppies picked up on the weird air around the two, as Brownie's ears perked up, his little furry head tilting as he sniffed and left Taehyun's lap, leaping down to the ground to follow Kai with careful steps, disappearing to the back of the van with him.

Toffy stops wiggling her tail, previously petted by Yeonjun. She curls into herself and watches Beomgyu with curious eyes, trailing his movement as he sinks into the couch next to Yeonjun and takes the deck of cards in a manner that tries to be unbothered. "Who wants a game of Uno?" he asks into the air, and if his uplifting voice was less strained and more… well, uplifting, then it would clear the air. But it isn't. In fact, it's slightly creepy and worrying.

"Beoms." Yeonjun threads lightly. He crosses his legs on the couch and brings his attention to his younger friend. Kwan starts the van if only to pretend to be focused on the road while he strains his ears to listen to his son's friends talk. "Is everything alright?" Yeonjun whispers even though the van is small enough for Kai to hear regardless. Usually, Yeonjun will let it go at least until they drop Kai off… tact and all, but it kind of seems like Beomgyu is about to burst into tears.

"Hmm hm." Beomgyu thins his lips together and nods. He shoves the cards into Taehyun's hands as if telling him to shuffle and deal.

Taehyun blinks and raises an eyebrow, he looks at Yeonjun with a shrug of his shoulders. "The boy wants to play Uno." Yeonjun reasons, nudging Taehyun to shuffle. Meanwhile, Soobin looks back to the direction Kai went, puffing out air and shaking his head. He takes the cards Taehyun dealt him.

 Thus begins the most charged game of Uno he witnessed and got to be a part of, filled with silent conversations and a shared wondering about what took place in the fifteen minutes they left the two to clean up.

Beomgyu won, maybe because he was the only one paying attention to his cards. Or maybe he won because no one had the heart to stop him. Beomgyu needed a win today, but it wasn't the one he wanted.

……………………

Kwan turns down the volume knob, dimming the soulful jazz track that filled the van. He looks in the rearview mirror, his eyes are checking the road and watching the boys as he drives down the quiet road. "Can someone wake Kai, and ask him for his address? We're reaching Seoul soon."

They all look at Beomgyu, but Beomgyu diverts his eyes and stares at his sketchbook, pretending not to have heard.

Yeonjun and Soobin exchange glances and Soobin stands up slowly to volunteer. He walks to the back, peeking his head into the doorway to hear sniffing. He walks a little deeper into the space, and the first thing that greets him and Brownie's uninviting gaze accompanied by a faint scowl.  

Soobin raises his arms and chuckles. "What are you doing there, Bud'?" he asks when Brownie's expression relaxes and he goes back to licking Kai's back carefully, the owner's shirt pushed up to his mid-back. Soobin's lips upturn and his eyebrows go up with curiosity as to why Brownie is acting so strangely and why his face and moist black button nose are buried in Kai's back.

Then, when he hovers over stretching his neck, he sees it even in the dimmed light that differs from the warm, yellow light outside the doorway, angry red welts on Kai's back, glistening with a layer of what Soobin assumes is Brownie's spit. The puppy continues sniffing hesitantly and drags his little pink tongue over the raw bruises and tender welts.

Unmoving, Soobin struggles to suck in full breath. His first instinct is to wake Kai fully interrogate him, and demand answers even if he knows Kai needs a gentler approach.  And he would take a simpler approach like always, like nudging Kai to sleep when he looks exhausted or forcing him to eat the things Soobin buys for him. But this is none of that, not just lack of sleep or a rumbling stomach.

These are signs of physical abuse that Kai purposefully hid from him, maybe from them all for some unknown reason. It's serious. Maybe serious to the point where Soobin is conflicted about how to treat it.

"So, what's the address!?" He hears Kwan from the driver's seat. A reminder of where they are and the fact that Soobin and Kai are not alone, so he needs to be careful.

His hand goes to pull Kai's shirt down to cover his back, ignoring Brownie's spiteful expression. He wakes up Kai before Brownie can lift the shirt with his paw again. "Kai-ah." He pushes Brownie aside slightly. "Kai-ah." Soobin's voice is firm, and Kai begins to shift on his stomach, opening one eye slowly. "Your address?" He wonders if his voice is giving away the fact that he knows now, and maybe he does but under his voice hides an emotional turmoil of what the hell he just saw.

Kai who is painfully unaware of what happened, answers in a groggy voice that is barely audible, but Soobin picks up on it anyway. Kai gives him another mumble and goes back to sleep, only to be nudged again. "Hey, if you fall asleep again, I'll need to wake up in five minutes, do you want that?"

Kai's eyes open again with something akin to annoyance, he sighs and shakes his head. "I'm up, I'm up… " he groans and lifts his body from the comfortable mattress, giving himself some time to let his eyes rid of the sleep and his body lose some of the grogginess and heaviness from the rest it had. He notices Soobin looking at him strangely, and for about two seconds, they just look at each other before Kai asks if there's something wrong. Soobin gives him a stiff shake and an unconvincing "No." He changes the subject by telling Kai that Kwan is dropping him off in a few seconds.

Kai nods, and pets Brownie's head whilst letting his legs dangle from the ledge of the bed and he stands up softly, his feet against the floor of the van. He slips into his shoes and rubs his eyes.

He shuffles outside of the doorway, Brownie trailing behind him and the sudden interest everyone takes in him, their eyes piercing at him, all but Beomgyu make him touch his nape and scratch it awkwardly.  He gazes past the wide windows of the van, recognizing the bus station, the row of broken benches, and the poor excuse of a neighborhood park Kwan drives past on the way to Kai's building.

"Oh," Kai is still struggling to shed the sleep from himself. "You can just stop here." He speaks.

Kwan continues driving. "Are you sure? Is that it?" he asks. "I would rather drop you in front of your place. I have a responsibility to get you home safely, young boy."

"It's fine." Kai insists. "It'll be hard to get out once you enter the neighborhood, I know this junction, and the asphalt of the roads isn't smoothed past it, I don't know how your van will take it." He explains. "I live two minutes from here, you can just stop next to this library."

Kwan seems to consider this because he understands what Kai means when he says the junction is tricky, the roads are narrow and jammed with motorcycles, and the view is obscured by poor structure, and two because he senses something urgent in the young boy's voice as if he'd take the wheel and pull over himself if Kwan won't do it.

"Alright." He says even though he's less than enthusiastic to let the boy take the short walk to his place at this hour of the night. He signals and pulls over after checking the right lane is clear. "Here you go." He slows down and parks near the sidewalk.

Kai presses his lips together, he looks back and crouches to pet Brownie's head before looking forward to finding Beomgyu peeking at him from his sketchbook, his almond eyes are big and unblinking. It seems he wants to open his mouth and say something, but maybe he decides against it as he returns to the blank pages.

Yeonjun waves Kai off, as well as Taehyun, and Soobin tells him to have a good night, and that he'll see him at work tomorrow. Kai ducks his head in a grateful bow to Kwan. "Thank you, for today. And for driving me back. I had the best time." Kai smiles. "Really."

At the other side of the van, Beomgyu sucks in a long breath.

"You're welcome, Kai. Get home safe and text us when you get there."

"Of course, Drive safely, Sir." He bids them all good night, and the van's door opens with a slight whoosh. Brownie's quiet whining is the only sound after Kai walks down the three tiny stairs, waving them from the window.

Kwan drives off. The tip of Beomgyu's pencil breaks, and it flies off on the floor. Leaving a dot on the sketchbook.

Chapter Text

Chicken, whole-grain rice. That sounds about right, Beomgyu thinks. He takes two of the packaged lunches on the cooled shelves, debating whether to get one chicken or one pork. He takes one chicken with rice, one with potatoes, and a pork and greens one, just for good measure.

The milk cartons from the other side of the coolers draw him in and he grabs one banana and one regular.

"That'll be 18. 30, cash or card?"  

Beomgyu grabs a plastic bag and takes out his card. He lets the cashier run it and she bids him goodbye as he places his Item in the bag. He steps outside into the warm yet windy air, the heavy bag of food in his hand.

He's not too far from the construction site so he sends Kai a message asking when he'll take his break, but so far, he hasn't gotten an answer back. He starts walking even though he knows Kai has already told him he rather Beomgyu come along with a friend or his dad, even Brownie isn't there to accompany Beomgyu.

But to be fair Beomgyu hadn't known he'd be visiting Kai today. Or this week, for that matter. After last night he had a lot to think about, so much that he struggled to go to sleep and woke up upside down for his class.

When he gets a little closer to the construction site, he actually sees a couple of the people he recognizes working with Kai, just some familiar faces. He doesn't know at all, even by name but he can identify the faces of at least three sitting on the sidewalk, shoving their faces with tacos from the food trucks nearby, sauce and salsa dripping on their chin as they talk between themselves, passing out chips and guacamole dip.

Other than them, he sees two more men in the same vests sitting on the bench, sharing a pizza tray that is gone within seconds.

Beomgyu looks around some more and sees a line at the food trucks, a few more workers walking around, standing or smoking cigarettes on their break. But Kai is nowhere to be found. So, Beomgyu took out his phone from his pocket and dialed with a faint idea that Kai opted to stay at his work's break room rather than eat outside in the blazing sun. which Beomgyu wouldn't blame him.

He calls his cell to ask him to come outside as he checks to see if there are any shaded places to sit down, but after 2 unanswered phone calls, Beomgyu's mind starts running the worst-case scenario. Although he stops himself rather quickly and decides to do the normal thing, he approaches Kai's co-workers and asks them if they have seen him. Perhaps he took Beomgyu's words to heart last night and decided to quit or even take a small break. He might not even be here today.

"He's in." It's what a man in his thirties taking large bites out of his perfectly wrapped burrito says, sour cream at the corner of his mouth and staining his bird.

Beomgyu grimaces. "Yeah," he hears the guy next to the man say, wearing an identical vest. "He's still working, don' know when he'll take his lunch break." And then in a more mumbled tone, he adds. "If even."

"What does that mean?"

The guy shrugs and goes back to his half-eaten taco, and the three resume their previous conversation from before Beomgyu interrupted them, unwilling to answer more of his questions and simply ignoring his presence.

He reaches the construction site's gates and the warning tapes all around it, which warn bystanders and people who pass by of the dangers of standing too close to scaffolders and large machinery.

Unlike other times when Beomgyu hesitated, waited for Kai to come out on his own while searching with his eyes to see if he could spot the younger. This time Beomgyu opens the gates with a hard expression, marching off inside the site as if he's one of the workers.

The guys from before followed him with their eyes because one wipes his hands on his pants and yells. "Wait! You're not allowed in there!"

He is stopped by a few, asking him what he is doing and that he should leave but he continues walking even after they yell behind him and ask for someone to call the contractor. "Young man." He hears. A slight tug on his shirt. Beomgyu rolls his eyes and looks back. "Listen," he scathes at the middle-aged man wearing an orange vest, and a helmet and holding a bunch of rolled papers. "My friend isn't answering me, and it's lunchtime." He says. "I see some of your workers are already outside near the food trucks so, why is he still here?"

"If you don't leave, I'll have to escort you out. This is private property, and it is not safe to be here without the proper safety garments."

Beomgyu stays planted in place and crosses his hands on his chest. "Sure, once my friend gets his lunch break I will. Now, I'll leave and if I don't see him walking out in about-" He glances at his clock. "Ten minutes, I'll have to file a complaint report on violation of employee rights."

……………………………..

Kai spray paints the outline of the trench path before he measures the intended depth of the trench. He has strapped knee pads on his legs, secured his gloves, and ignored the burning pain in his back.

He steps down on the shovel, buried deep in the ground. The soil is a bit hard, and if Kai had more energy, he'd probably break it apart with a pickaxe but as he tries he realizes it'll take much more time, and he's already dying to finish this task and go take his break.

He lifts the soil with the shovel and digs in small sections, however much his body is allowing him to do, and a little more. He's already so drained and he doesn't know from what. The only thing that gives him comfort is that he doesn't need to think while digging. It's a tedious job as he needs to keep his consistency with the depth and width he is digging, but it isn't something that strains his mind.

However, it does leave him to think about just how hungry he is at the moment. He hopes he has some coins here and there, in his pockets or bag, anything that can bunch up to enough to buy something small at the convenience store although he knows that'll never keep him satisfied until midnight.

As he digs, he wonders if tonight's shift will be one of those where Soobin hands him something to eat, because he is getting something too. Or, maybe like other times, he'll hand Kai something small like kimbap or a can of kimchi tuna because they are about to expire either way.

If not, when Kai gets home after the shift, at seven or eight in the morning, he'll open the food his mom told him to take with him and he'll warm that up with the unfinished cup of microwavable rice left in his fridge. That's about good enough.

After some time, Kai's hand starts to burn from holding the shovel. The already-formed blisters pushed against the rough material of his gloves and rubbed open. His palms sweat and the salty sweat makes the open blisters burn more.

He takes a minute, with his leg up resting on the shovel. His stomach grumbles almost painfully, reminding him how empty it is and he can't stop thinking about the food they had at the beach the earlier day, his mouth salivates at that. Chewy noodles and spicy, savory broth. Turkey sandwiches with toasted salty bread and lettuce, honey chips on the side-

"Hey!"

Kai flinches, his leg momentarily losing balance on the shovel and he grabs its stick and rests his foot on the soil. "Sir," he sees the contractor looking at the work Kai has done so far, which is about a fifth of the digging. "There isn't a problem, is there?" he turns slightly from the thought he might have dug on the wrong surface, or the depth isn't enough or way too much.

But Mr. Ju, the contractor dismisses him with little to no care. "Yeah, yeah, good so far." His voice drags about. "Take thirty and carry on."

"Thirty?"

"Your lunch break… " The contractor specifies as if he isn't the one who has specially told Kai to finish the digging before thinking about taking his break with everyone. He mentioned the deadline and Kai's unimpressive speed, unlike the rest who have made progress since the start of the workday. Kai would argue that they are more experienced and have been given rather easy tasks to fill than him, but he knows well enough not to.  "I'm not done… though."

The contractor shrugs. "Listen, if you don't want to take thirty-"

"No-" Kai clears his throat. "I do." His eyebrows bunch in confusion as the contractor leaves. He leans the shovel on the wall, making sure it's well deep in the ground before he walks away to the bungalow meanwhile taking off his gloves. The fabric inside has turned sticky from blood and blister serum, his palms a complete mess that he washes away in the bathroom sink.

He sees the water turn a faded pink and presses some paper towels on his palms. He enters the break room to open his locker where he keeps his bag and rummages through its pockets to gather enough money for a triangle kimbap at the store.

The coins rattle in his pants pocket as he steps outside, passing through the site until he reaches the gates. He stretches his stiff limbs and starts walking towards the store when he notices his co-workers' stares. He blinks. "What's wrong?" he asks Milo who sits on the curb with his dumb, shit-eating smile.

Milo points at the benches and Kai watches where his finger points. He hears Beomgyu before he even sees him walking towards him in strides.

His eyes grow wide and he just looks at Beomgyu getting closer and grabbing his arm. He lets him drag him to a shaded bench before he demands Kai to sit. "Hyung, what are you doing here?" he asks dumbly while his wrist is held with a soft, silky hand.

"Sit first." Beomgyu orders. They sit in front of one another and Beomgyu opens the bag in his other hand and pulls out plastic cutlery, three lunch boxes, and black trays of packaged food filled with a thin layer of nylon. He cuts the thin nylon with a plastic knife and gives Kai the packaged lunch. "You haven't eaten today, have you?" he asks while shoving the box in Kai's hands.

Kai's mouth drools at the sight of braised chicken and vegetable rice. "Just some… Kimchi, and baked yams. Is this for me?" he asks.

"For who else?"

"I don't know." Kai fiddles with the fork. He looks up to meet Beomgyu's stern eyes and cringes into himself. "I thought you were mad at me." His voice grows quiet.

Beomgyu nods as if he confirms. "I was, for about a couple of hours. Why aren't you eating? You look like you're going to devour the food with your eyes."

Kai stabs the fork into the chicken and takes a large bite, chewing slowly. "Aas I was saying," Beomgyu continues after Kai shovels rice grains into his mouth. "I was mad," he leans his elbow on the bench's backrest, tilting his head aside and he watches Kai wolf the food down. "But then I realized that I can't decide for you, we live two different lives. But that doesn't mean that I can't hover over you, and make sure you are okay." He speaks softly, his hand coming up to brush some stray hairs that poke Kai's eyes.

"So," He smiles. "You're going to be seeing and hearing a lot from me. Because as long as you're still working here, I need to make sure my crush is well-fed and taken care of."  

Kai looks up at him with wide eyes and a grain of rice finds itself in his airways as he sucked in a surprised breath. He coughs until his eyes turn watery. "Hey, I need you alive Kai." Beomgyu jokes but he looks at Kai with worry and a little amusement. "Come on."

He finally clears his airways and looks at Beomgyu, scandalized. "Your crush?" he asks in a squeaky voice.

Beomgyu returns the look with an unbothered one of his own. "We've established this a few days ago, Kai. You don't deserve to be bashful now. Take this," he gives him the second box and Kai tilts his head. "Why?" he asks.

A warm smile spreads on Beomgyu's face laced with something more demanding and real. "Because I know your appetite better than this. You should eat more; one is barely enough."

For however much time they are there, sitting on the bench. Beomgyu takes out a calming cream from his bag and a roll of bandages he asked his father to buy loads of after the whole "stealing from work" debacle. He tells Kai to continue eating while he takes his hand on his own, looking at the deflated blisters and raw flesh of Kai's palm.

On his third packaged lunch, Beomgyu applies cream on Kai's palm while the other is focused on the fried pork and broccoli. "Jeez, Kai… " Beomgyu shakes his head and carefully applies a thin layer of soothing cream all over the pained skin. "This looks like it hurts."

"Just a little bit," Kai answers with a mouthful of food. He gives Beomgyu his other hand after his right hand is bandaged, and Beomgyu repeats the same.

"You shouldn't work with just your gloves," Beomgyu scolds. "Look what it's doing to your skin."

Kai picks up the last pieces of food and lets out a content sigh. His stomach is full, and the lack of grumbling makes it easier to think, although he does feel three times heavier. He looks at his bandaged hands, and stretches his fingers, feeling the tight fabric wrapped around his palm. "So… you aren't mad?"

Beomgyu shrugs. "I don't know, Kai. I'm worried… I'm- I'm scared for you." He says in a tone that's meant to be lighter because he doesn't want to show that that night, that he was snooping around the site and saw that from the window, did a number on him. The blatant show of violence wasn't meant for him to see but it happened, and anyone would be shocked.

It created a sort of protective sense, an urge he feels every time he sees Kai, to see if he's okay, unharmed, satiated, and at peace. He is mad that he can't do anything to guarantee that, but he can try doing everything else he can to try and get Kai there. "I guess I get why you're doing this. But if that's what you choose then I'm going to have to keep two pairs of eyes on you."

Kai scrapes the fork on the plastic. "You don't have to." He says, but the corner of his mouth picks up. "Am I that special to you?" he teases.

"Hmm," Beomgyu answers almost immediately and ruffles Kai's hair as if he is a puppy. His hair is slightly greasy and dusty, but he doesn't care. He fixes a few strands with gentle touches, and he pats down a little of the dirt on Kai's vest. "Are you full?" he asks with so much care in his voice that Kai's heart does a little flip inside its ribcage.  

Kai nods. "Thank you, Hyung." He says gratefully. "Oh, don't dirty your hands. That's oily." He refers to the helmet that Beomgyu reaches for. "There's mud on it too." He adds and puts it on his head, buckling the straps. "I have to go back."

"Okay," Beomgyu's eyes lingered on him for a while. "Text me when you get home," he takes a deep breath. "Please." He adds.

"I will, Hyung. Take you for the food, really."

Beomgyu waves his gratitude off as if saying it's no big deal. They both stand up. "Oh!" Beomgyu abruptly claps his hands together, making Kai blink in surprise. "I forgot." He takes something else from the bag. "Here, drink it whenever you can." He gives him a small-sized milk carton with a straw to poke in.

"You're spoiling me." Kai jokes. "Thank you."

"If you're feeling a little low on energy, you should drink that. It's good. And there are a few other things here to hold you until the end of your shift, you make sure to finish up everything. Understood?"

Kai salutes. "Yes, of course. I won't let anything you bought for me go to waste." His voice turns sincere and Beomgyu dusts off a little bit of debris on Kai's shoulder. "You better not," he smiles, looking up at Kai with big, attentive eyes. "Get back to work." His voice is down to a whisper.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Hyung."

Beomgyu nod. "I'll see you. Take good care of yourself, Kai. Be careful, " he is reminded of the rope incident where Kai's safety belt gave out and he almost fell if it weren't for his co-workers. He should be more cautious.

"I'll be careful. Don't worry." They are already a few feet apart. "Bye, Hyung!" he waves him off.

With a hint of disappointment and concern, Beomgyu waves him off too. "Bye," his smile fades. "Stay safe, Kai." He whispers when Kai disappears into the site, passing the gates. "Please."

………………………………..

Truth be told he thought of about a hundred ways he could approach this situation, and none felt entirely right. He thought about flat-out calling Kai on it but then he'd feel like the younger would shut off to him, which he doesn't want.

He thought about giving Kai time to say something on his own, which would be the better option but would drive Soobin insane. Mostly because he doesn't know how long that has been happening and if Kai will ever come to him for help.

He even thought about asking a responsible adult for objective advice, but his mother wasn't entirely helpful as she was worried about Soobin's hypothetical friend. Then he thought maybe telling Kwan, an adult who knows Kai would be a good approach, but he felt like this could backfire because he hasn't got any permission from Kai to tell anyone.

Then he thought of just letting Kai know he knows and having it roll out the way Kai wants it to. But throughout the entire day, he hasn’t settled on a sure thing to do. And now, he's sitting in his chair behind the counter and in front of the register, wrecking his brain on how to act when Kai clocks in for his shift.

In the meantime, he settled on acting normally, the same. At least until he finds the perfect way to navigate through the tough conversation they both have to have. So, when he hears the bell above the door rings, and Kai walks inside with his bag on his back, giving Soobin a wide smile and a tired greeting, Soobin bites his tongue.

"Hey." He says quietly. "Clock in, do you want some coffee?" he asks.

Kai enters his work tag into the system and lets his bag fall on the floor. He yawns just in time. "Yeah, I guess I need coffee more than I want it. Should I bring the boxes inside?"

"No!" Soobin stops him. "I mean… " he bunches up the sleeves of his hoodie and avoids eye contact with Kai. "I'll do the inventory today-"

"Are you sure?" Kai looks baffled, he is usually the one handling that. "Those are heavy, Hyung."

"Yeah." That is why. "Mend the register, I'll carry those in. There's black coffee in the storage room inside the kettle, poor yourself a cup." He doesn't know how Kai manages these boxes with such ease when he lifts one and feels his neck vain wanting to pop. His face must be red now and he's glad Kai is busy with the coffee to see him struggle.

He kicks one box inside and pushes it forward for the lack of wanting to try and lift it.

He hears footsteps and Kai sits on the chair behind the counter and sips his coffee. He taps his fingers on the smooth surface of the counter and asks Soobin if he needs some help. "I feel useless now." He jokes. "At least let me price tag those."

Soobin looks at him and sighs. He takes the package of tens of tins of canned floor and puts them on the counter. "They're three eighty, put the sticker discount on three for six-fifty."

Something about Soobin's voice is different, the tone is detached, and Kai can't tell if it's in his head or not. He nods takes the price tagger from the basket under the counter and starts tagging the items and putting them in place, waiting for Soobin to bring more to the counter so he can do those too.

Often, they work in silence but something about this shift feels… heavy. Soobin only speaks to him in dry, small sentences. "Do these in three's" "Change the tagger paper roll, no not like that- that way, right." "Put it in aisle six."

 It feels vastly different from the way Soobin usually talks, but maybe he's having an off day. He can have those too. "Hey, Hyung."

Soobin hums, not paying attention to him, or even stooping the task of opening the next carton box. "Is everything alright?" Kai grabs the edges of the counter and stands on his tiptoes.

Soobin stops for a brief second but doesn't look at Kai, the box cutter continues sliding and cutting the tape holding the box together. "Sure, why… why are you asking?" His voice is not smooth like it normally is, calm, collected, and always in one even tone.  He is speaking but his mind appears to be in a different place. It is not at all convincing, but it rather does the opposite.

 Kai squints and purses his lips. "You're acting kind of odd, did I do something?" He throws a guess. He hasn't seen Soobin quite this bothered and quiet before.

There are a few beats of silence where Soobin just stares at the box's contents without saying a word. "I did." Kai takes his silence as a yes, mainly because of a gut feeling but also, he knows Soobin well enough that if they didn't have a problem Soobin would immediately reassure him when he asked. "What is it? Did I do something at the beach yesterday? You can tell me… "

Soobin stands up and puts the box cutter on the counter. "Put it back into the basket, and let it go Kai… nothing's wrong." He turns around and lifts the box of extra items to store in the storage room after putting everything on the shelves.

When he comes back Kai's eyes are still trained on him, slanted and tinged with slight concern. "Are you worried I'm going to take it to heart or something?" Kai asks. "If I did something just tell me, I'll apologize."

"Go take a nap in the storage room, your eyes are bright red."

Kai shrugs his shoulder like a little kid. "I don't want to."

"Kai-"

The bell rings and they both turn their heads towards the customer passing through the door. A young student looks at them with wide, confused eyes at the sudden silence and show of interest. "Hello… " he mumbles and goes to look at the Ramen aisle for a late-night snack that'll satisfy his craving, likely before he returns to cram for his exams.

Soobin greets him back and they both return to look at each other. "Listen… "He lowers his voice to a whisper. "I said nothing was wrong, and as your boss, I expect you to do as I say. So, get your butt over to the storage room and go night-night until I wake you up."

"You're hardly my boss, Soobin Hyung," Kai whispers as well. He sees the student approaching with a Shin ramen cup, a bag of chips, and a fried corn dog from the hot food section. They promptly stop, and heavy silence hangs as Kai scans the ramen, punches the corn dog in, and takes the student's bill handed to him.

He puts the change on the counter for him to take and he looks at Kai and Soobin with weird eyes and leaves the store with a soft bell of the door.   "And-" he continues where he left off. "And I don't think I'll be able to fall asleep if you're mad at me, so, just fess up. Whatever it is. Hyung knows I'm not an egotistical person, I'll apologize if an apology is due, Y'know?"

"I'm not mad at you, Kai. Just drop it."

"Are you annoyed?"

"No."

"What is it, just tell me."

Soobin rolls his tongue over his teeth and closes his eyes for a second. "Kai," he opens them and slides his hand into his pants pocket. The look he gives the younger, it's not fully disappointed, it's not fully anger or annoyance or what Kai would have wanted it to be, calm. It's not even pity, per se. It's wary, kind of worried but if Kai hadn't known any better, he'd say he sees a hint of protectiveness too. "If you… I don't know, if you found yourself needing some help, you'd tell me right?" Soobin asks. "I mean, we're close enough, aren't we?"

"Um." This isn't really what Kai has expected Soobin to say or rather ask. "I guess it depends, but sure, Hyung. Why are you asking anyway?"

"Depends on what?" Soobin is hung up on that specific word which in his opinion makes all the difference.

Kai is a bit taken aback. His eyes look up to show he's giving Soobin's question the appropriate amount of thought. After all, he is the one who had insisted Soobin talk to him. "Well," he puffs his cheeks. "When I needed better clothes, I called you… And also umm, when you bought me those things I stole from work, and-"

"I'm not talking about that." Soobin stops him. "Like, I'm talking- " he lets out a frustrated breath because he can't find the words to articulate himself. "If you were in d- Hmm. If-"

Kai looks at him blankly, trying to fill in the empty gaps in Soobin's poorly constructed sentences.

"-If you were in danger, or something like that."

"In danger?"

The bell rings again and Soobin curses softly under his lips. "Hello." He greets them with a tight voice.  A couple wearing matching clothes, the girl tucked under the boy's arm, and they walk in and bow slightly, returning Soobin with a low-effort greeting. The couple disappears into the corner when the ice cream coolers are tucked, and Soobin bites the edge of his mouth. "Yes," he hums. "If something happened, you'd tell me, right?"

Kai hops on the chair and leans his chin on his palm. "Like what?" he sounds confused.

"I don't know, Kai," Soobin says in exasperation. "You know what, forget I said anything," he says when the couple reaches the counter. "Just move," He walks around and nudges Kai out of the chair so that he is in front of the register. Kai pliably moves and lets Soobin go through.

He stands by the counter, confused and thrown off by Soobin's odd behavior.

"Kai," Soobin quietly calls.

Kai perks up, no longer focusing on Soobin's hands as he walks the couple through checkout. "Hmm?" he thinks Soobin may leave off where he started.

"The storage room, go." He bags the ice cream into one bag and hands it to the dark-haired boy and bids the couple good night. When they leave. Kai is still by his side. He gives him a stern look and Kai raises his hands.

"Okay… " he sighs. "Fine, I'm going." He walks away and Soobin hears him mumble on his way. "No need to yell."

He hears the soft closing of the storage door, and he sits on the chair. He facepalms and groans into his hands and then he proceeds to just stare blankly at the row of pickles in front of the register for a few minutes before hitting himself in the forehead a few times while muttering "stupid." repeatedly. He stops that after a while and just tucks his knees under his wrapped arms.

The vivid picture of Kai's bruised back, and the fresh red-looking welts across it, from the shoulder blades down to where his ribs are. Soobin closes his eyes to try and get the image out of his head, but he can't.

He rubs his temples and slides his fingers in his hair and pulls lightly. "Damn it." "Damn it." He retracts his hands and reaches for his phone which is hidden away on the sliding shelf under the register.

His thumb slides across the screen and it opens, on the home screen a picture of his nephew doing finger heart with his tiny hands. Soobin's thumb hovers over his and Beomgyu's chat which consists mostly of their first conversation.

Choi Beomgyu: Hey, this your number?

Me: yes, save it.

Choi Beomgyu: ai ai capi-tan.

Me: … right.

And that is about the extent of their chat history. But now, Soobin was contemplating. Contemplating a lot. But even if he does decide to talk to Beomgyu about it what would he say? Does Beomgyu even know? Considering he and Kai are close in a different way, Kai might have told him some things. On the other hand, because Kai is interested in Beomgyu he might not have, just for that reason.

Is it even Soobin's place to be the one to tell Beomgyu? When it should come from Kai. He exits and enters their chat a few more times, just going back and forth. At times customers come and he abandons his phone but continues wondering how he should go about it.

"Do you need a bag?"

The thirty-year-old man buying three beers for himself, maybe others, shakes his head. He grabs the beers by their necks and leaves the store.

Soobin sits back and retrieves his phone from the counter, unlocking it once again and to his surprise, he has a new message. The "1" written next to his chat with Beomgyu and he taps their chat.

Choi Beomgyu: Hey, I hope you're awake. Kai said he had a shift with you today, just checking if he arrived alright?

Soobin squints his eyes and his fingers dance over the keyboard. A message from Beomgyu and at two in the morning, checking to see if Kai arrived alright? What does that even mean?

He pauses to think of his response as he's trying to decipher Beomgyu's intentions. He begins typing.

Me: He's here, just resting so I don't think he's available. Why do you ask?

He doesn't know whether to be formal or write something with more casual wording considering the nature of his and Beomgyu's relationship is that Soobin's friend is crushing over Beomgyu, and Soobin is crushing over Beomgyu's friend. A very odd territory where technically they should be comfortable as friends by now but it somehow just feels like they are not really all that close.

Choi Beomgyu: Just because. Hyung, can I ask something?"

Me: Yeah, I guess.

Choi Beomgyu: Kai got okay? No limping… or anything?

Me: He seems fine, why?

Does Beomgyu know something? For some reason, it sounds like he does.

Me: Are you talking about, Yk?

Choi Beomgyu: I'm just asking.

Me: Why wouldn't he be fine?

Choi Beomgyu: he works a lot, dat' all, wanted to make sure he wasn't hurt from work.

Me: OK but why would he be hurt?

Choi Beomgyu: No reason, just checking in.

So, Beomgyu is so far useless and vague which Soobin does not appreciate, and maybe he does, in fact, not know anything about what Soobin saw in the van but Soobin doesn't quite know if being the only one who knows is better than having something else know what he knows too, you know?

Me: K, he's fine then. Sleeping I think.

Choi Beomgyu: Oh

Choi Beomgyu: That's good, then.

Choi Beomgyu: Thank you for taking care of him.

Me: Sure

Soobin has more than a lot on his mind right now. He texts Beomgyu goodnight and shuts off his phone.

Chapter Text

The last time Kai heard his mother raise her voice was when he was fourteen. But it was justified. See, when Kai was in his freshman year of high school he mingled with the wrong company. He only wanted to fit in, and after his numerous attempts that attained no success, finally, in high school, he found kids of his own. Or rather, they found him.

They'd hang in the backyard of the school, hidden by bushes and metal gates. Some would pass cigarettes between them, taking puffs and laughing about silly things that Kai never found funny enough, but when they laughed, he laughed.  The craving for company was always there for him, he longed to not be that odd kid at lunch, to have someone to walk home with after school like he saw the other kids doing, he longed for friends.

For people who will accept him as he is. Old clothes, empty pockets, and all that.

So, when they laughed, he laughed too, although inside he was terrified of the thought someone might see them smoking on school premises.

They'd talk about what they'll do once they are rich, buy houses and bitches. And which girl in class had the hottest ass and fuckable eyes. Kai didn't understand them but at times, he found their company fun, as a fourteen-year-old. He didn't really know any better, he'd say.

It's the first time he had friends. Boys his age he sat with, talked with, or mostly listened to. He didn't really know how it was supposed to work. He didn't know any better.

He didn't know any better when his best friend at the time stretched his hand over to him, a cigarette sung between his fingers. He offered Kai a puff, and Kai thinking it's something friends do, they… they share, right? That means they are close. Like kids, he saw them sharing their lunches or borrowing pencils and notes from each other. It was like that.

And they did stuff together after school too, the group of friends that is. Like other kids did with their friends. Kai would see kids his age go to the PC cafes together, he saw some having bingsoo through the glass doors of the ice cream shop when he walked back home from school.

Kai heard students in his class talk about how fun the theme park they were in yesterday was. He realized friends did that. They meet after school too.

So, when he was in high school, he and his friends did fun stuff after school too. And Kai thought it was normal because they were friends, and they were having fun. What's the harm in that?

What's the harm in graffitiing a police station's wall and writing profanities on it? Or throw rocks through it. And the rush, the rush of running away afterward. They smile as they run, their feet smacking on the asphalt. But then, Kai feels a tug on his shirt, and he is tackled to the ground, and they keep running. His body is rolling on the ground.

He looks from the floor, his body pressed on the wet asphalt, his legs no longer running. He sees them disappear while he hears yelling, so much yelling. Suddenly the lights are too bleary and it's no longer fun. It's scary.

It's no longer fun and he feels his hands push back behind his back and he tries wriggling away. His breath quickens, and he no longer sees his friends anywhere.

And suddenly, he's sitting cuffed to a chair in the police station, waiting for his mom to come for him in the middle of the night. His mind was in disarray and a gush of guilt draped over him like a heavy weighted blanket.

It's the last time he remembers his mother raising her voice.

Until now, that is.

"I'm worried, John. Don't you understand?" Kai hears hushed yelling from the outside of his parents' house which prompts him to stop, place the grocery bags in his hands on the floor, and hesitate to come in. "We can't just brush this away with a smile and happy thoughts." She sounds frustrated, almost desperate.

A frown nestles on Kai's face.

"Happy thought and keeping calm have done nothing for us-"

"I don't know what else to do." His father admits, and Kai is burning with curiosity as to what they are talking about with such intensity. "I'm drawn empty, I am working as much as I can… I-"

There is still little hushing, sounds of rising and lowered muffled voices but they are not coherent enough for Kai to make a sentence of.

Quietly, he pushes down the door handle, opening it only in a jar. He's glad he oiled the hinges or else the squeaking would have turned him in.

Kai shoves his head inside and the lights are dimmed, almost fully off. That's weird, but they are more of a small light sort of family. Kai doesn't think much of it.

Inside, he sees the main source of light, the bulb over the dinner table. His father is sitting, but his mother is pacing around with her hands in her graying hair. They are in silence now, but the tension is loud. She shakes her head, and his father gives his mother a kind of look, he knows that look. It's his I'm sorry look. I'm-sorry-I-couldn't-put-food-on the-table, I'm-sorry-I-couldn't-keep-you-warm-this-winter, I'm-sorry-for-not-giving-our boy-a-better-life, the I'm-sorry-I-failed-you-look. I'm sorry-I don't-have-more-to-give-you.

Kai's heart feels like it's hammered into pieces. Once more when his mother paces around and her heels turn in her rugged, thin slippers. "Kai." She chokes out.

"What's going on?" Kai lifts the bags from the ground and enters the threshold, not breaking eye contact with his parents.

His mom freezes.

"Nothing." John kneads his nape. "Adult stuff- what, Kai I've told you countless times, stop buying us things. For God-"

"Oh, come on Dad. I came around last week, there was nothing in the fridge. You can't blame me for anything and you sure as hell can't tell me what to spend my well-earned money on." Kai's eyes dart from his mom's deer-in-lights stare and his dad's guilty, almost ashamed look. "What's going on?" he asks once more. "Why are you fighting?"

"We're not-"

The last of his sentence Kai cannot hear. He marches to the dinner table with the bags, sets them on the table, and before his mother can stop him, he snatches the sheet of paper from the desk. "Kai, wait!" his mother tries pulling his sleeve, but he avoids her hands.

He lets out an airy, dry laugh as he looks up. "What is it?" he holds up the sheet, a paper, an eviction note. He clenches his teeth together and breathes deeply. "Who put it there?" something in his voice hardens the more his parents fail to give him answers. Kai sighs and folds the paper into half, and then another half. "How long?"

"Kai, this is none of your responsibility-"

There is a hint of fatigue in Kai's eyes, a little in his voice too as he asks. "How long late, Dad?" he swallows. "How many months late on the rent are you?"

His father leans his elbows on the table, his eyes trained on a certain spot. He shrugs his shoulder. "Just-" he picks up the dirt under his nails. "Just a few months."

"How much is a few?"

"I don't know-"

"Three months." His mother intervenes.

Kai's jaw hangs open. He smacks his lips and prepares to talk but the words die on his tongue. He folds the paper with a sense of urgency, his parents follow his moves like two bundles of anxious nerves.

Kai shoves the paper in his pants pocket and mutters something about how they should put the groceries in the fridge before they go bad. He ignores his parents' protest as he turns around and walks about three steps through the tiny living room. He opens the front door and leaves with a soft slam.

His legs lead him the opposite way to their house, past the beggars and the dirty playground. Someone tries and stops him, asking for some loose change in his rattling cup. Kai walks past him and takes a right turn.

This path is always too well known to him.

He doesn't walk with urgency as he walks with a certain quiet anger bubbling. He takes his time passing by, walking past a bunch of girls in tight, short outfits doing their walk of shame from the bar. Only there is no shame in this neighborhood. Just survival, by all means.

Kai's arm pounces on the red door, the metal hingers rattling. He slams his fist into the door. "Open up!" He orders in a voice that is foreign to even himself. His hand comes down harder on the poor door as if he'll break it if he continues for a few more seconds.

Just as it hits again, making noise all over the still-asleep street. Kai hears footsteps and then an impatient grumble and some cursing from the other side of the door. He pounces again.

The lock clicks, the sound of a key turning in its keyhole. Mr. Han opens it, his eyes are puffy, and his beer body is covered almost just about enough by a red robe. He ties the strings, having trouble opening his eyes fully in the early sun.

However, he doesn't get much time to register who the person knocking covered entirely by the blindness of the sun as Kai drives him forward with a hand bunching up his robe at his chest.

Mr. Han tries to find balance under the force that pushes him back into his own house, trying to grab onto the furniture as his legs struggle to keep up. "What did I tell you?" He hears.

He is pushed back until he is pressed against the wall of his kitchen, a strong hand against his chest, blocking his airways. "I told you to come to me when there's trouble with the rent, did I not?" He looks up now, panicked and confused. Attacked in his own house in broad daylight.

"Kai-"

"Answer me?" Kai's voice isn't exactly raging but it's not very calm either. Rather annoyed, and inconvenienced. "Was I not clear?" he fished a folded sheet of paper from his pocket. "What the fuck-" he lets out that curse like it was sitting on his chest for months. "-Is this? Am I a joke to you?"

Mr. Han feels himself pushed further into the wall and his robe rides up. The front door to his house remains open for the neighborhood to see into his private life. "No-" He tries smiling, to console the young boy, to appear on his side. To soften him. "Of course not," His voice comes out high and squeaky.

Kai's jaw locks. "If I ever see this note plastered on my parents' door, I'll personally shove it down your throat. My dad is a working man, my mom is sick, do you think they have time for your little tricks? Hmmm?"

Mr. Han shakes his head frantically. "Listen," he tries explaining himself. "Maybe it was one of my workers-"

"Do not bullshit me."

"They are late on the rent- What, what was I to do?" Mr. Han swallows and looks outside to see if anyone is passing that'll come to his aid. "I have bills to pay too, I can't-" his throat dries at the look Kai sends him right then and there.

"When there are problems with the rent-" Kai breathes. "Repeat after me when the rent is due…"

Mr. Han coughs at the pressure on his chest going up to his neck. "When the-the rent is due."

"You come to me."

"I come- Ow…"

Kai raises his eyebrows.

"I come to you- you're crushing me… " he whines.

"If you bother my parents again about money if you cause them any sort of stress, I'll do so much worse. In a place like this where not even the police live, I have the freedom to make your life hell."  

Mr. Han nods. And Kai knows it's because he like Kai knows there is no salvation in this place. There is one perk to living in those rat-infested neighborhoods. Not even God wants to affiliate himself with the people living here. And the police sure as hell have a better crime to deal with in here. Murder, rape, abductions, mobs and gangs.

In a feud between a landlord and his tenants, Kai bets there is a human-sized pile of just those cases on some officers' desks and it remains unattended.

Kai leans back and takes his elbow off Mr. Han's body. "I'll transfer the money in the next few days." He walks away. "Have a great morning."

………………………..

His eyes close almost as soon as he sprawls on his mattress. A towel hangs on his neck, water beads from the shower, and dripping down from his hair soak in the towel. He barely has half a mind to dry his drenched hair before his body gravitates towards his bed.

Kai lay on his back, one leg on the mattress and one leg escaping to the cold floor. The soft, unsatisfying, inconsistent air from the fan cooling him only enough that he is not swimming in his own sweat.

With a soft sigh, Kai knocks out cold until his next alarm.

………………………..

Kai wonders if one day he'll get sick of it. Sleep, work, sleep, work. Never experienced anything much. For now, he doesn't dwell on that question. He slips his feet into socks, and then his shoes.

As soon as he woke up, he opened his fridge lazily, pulling a tub of clear soap that was maybe a month, or two months old. He doesn't remember when or where it came from. If he made it or if his mother gave it to him on his last couple visits.

He pops open the lid and drinks straight from the tub, filling his stomach with cold soap and small chunks of onion.

He leaves the tub outside on the broken table, and his eyes close involuntarily, weighed down by the short sleep that failed to give him the energy he needed. Kai splashes water from the sink on his face, but it's hardly cold enough to do anything.

He drags his feet to the door and leaves for work. Again. The cycle continues, again.

………………………..

West Park is not too threatening in the early days of the morning when he gets off his night shift with Soobin. The usual dangers are mostly at night. Gangs, fight clubs, the occasional run-in with a drunken guy that can soon turn into a nuisance.

The morning is for the day after. Glass bottles were broken on the side of the roads, and splatters of blood on the walls from the events inspired at the night, when Kai was safe and sound inside the store. Whoever's unlucky enough to walk these streets late at night, their evidence was left for the morning.

Kai tries not to look when he passes by a group of passed-out addicts, syringes stuck in their arms and their eyes rolled back leaving only their whites to see. He swallows his discomfort and walks through them as if they were ghosts.

They are cigarette buds all over, like a trail leading him to his apartment.

West Park is quiet in the mornings. The gangs are off when the sun is up like vampires avoiding the sunlight. The clubs are closed after sending people like Kai to their homes after entertaining them for the night, allowing them to forget how shitty their lives are with the promise of alcohol and drugs.

The muggers are off with their share of the night, counting money in their apartments from wallets of innocent people, or not. No one is fully innocent here, not even Kai who had his moments of pure survival. Sometimes you do stuff you're not proud of. And walking in those streets after work reminds Kai of that.

There is no luxury in choosing to be a good person in a place where that can cost you all your own.

West Park is peaceful in the mornings. As peaceful as a place like that can be.

Kai passes by the alley where he sees Brownie. It felt like such a long time ago when he heard the whines and cries of the little puppy. He's sure remnants of his blood are there too, and that the morning after people have passed by that alley. The splatter of blood from his nose is on those walls too.

In a way West Park is a canvas for the pain of the people living in it, and Kai contributed his part to the horrifying masterpiece. It's almost as if he truly belongs here now.

His apartment is not too far away from that mark.

Despite the sleep he had in the store, he is still fatigued and sore and wouldn't mind at all plopping onto his mattress until eleven thirty. His bag is like a weight on his bag despite only having his work clothes in and his wallet, a few loose mints, and wrappers.

Despite his woozy state, Kai is clear enough to recognize something is wrong once he walks up the stairs of the apartment building and they're wet, flooding with opaque water.

He walks around the puddles although that's not too easy because the water keeps streaming down… from the slit between his door and the floor. Water keeps gushing down. Kai freezes for a few seconds, his shoes squelching in the shallow water, soaking the socks inside.

He pales, twisting the key into the hole and he opens the door to find his apartment flooded complete with murky water, gray and smelly with small chunks floating around. He gags and clamps his hand on his nose, breathing from his mouth only to taste the smell and it's even worse.  

There's no doubt from the smell that the flooding originated in the bathroom, which makes Kai grimace but reluctantly walk into his very fragrant apartment to locate the flood.

Tears rise in his eyes from the sharp stench, or maybe it's from the fact that he only wanted to close his eyes and get some rest after this grueling nine-teen hours, and he got greeted with toilet water up to his ankles.

The smell coats his clothes, he's sure. He walks into the small, inch-on-inch bathroom to find the toilet overflowing at a worrying pace, gushing with water and unknown particles that make Kai want to empty his stomach, but he doesn't even have where to do it now.

The smell gives him chills and the water sloshing around causes him itchiness in his body. He tries to do damage control, to shut off the valve of the water supply wherever it is but it doesn't seem to be the cause of the flood. Not even is the toilet being clogged. The water just keeps coming out, and Kai swears he sees little lines of stink just like in the comics. He doesn't even own any cleaning supplies like a broom or a mop to take control of the situation, not that he thinks it'll be much of help if he does have any.

With a sigh of defeat, and maybe build-up nausea, he escapes from his apartment to the not-so-fresh air outside but it's still a large difference.

He frees his nose and takes and big breath, turning around to face the building. There's no way he'll be able to sleep there now. Hell, until this gets fixed he has no place to stay. Of course, he runs the possibility of staying in his parents' house, but the place is packed with even just two people, and his father takes the couch. What's he going to do, lay on the bare floor?

He entertains that option for a good couple of minutes until ruling it out. Sleeping on a lumpy mattress if bad enough, he concurs he wouldn't be able to sleep on hardwood.

He really doesn't want to do this, but only one person comes to mind at this moment. He can't sleep in his apartment, and he can't sleep on the streets either unless he wants to wake up with a knife in his stomach and his wallet gone.

He taps the number on his speed dial.

It doesn't take more than two rings before he hears Soobin's voice.

"Hello? Kai-ah, something's wrong?"

Kai fiddles with the strap of his bag. He bites his bottom lip and nods even though Soobin can't see him. "Hyung," He calls. He knows his calling is weird enough considering they just had a seven-hour long shift together and whatever he has to say, he sure could've said it in the store. "You know when you said that I can, you know? Call you, if I need some help." The words leave his mouth awkwardly despite them already being close enough. In fact, he doesn't know why asking for Soobin or anyone else for that matter for help makes him feel like walking on pins and needles. It's a painfully awkward feeling like waiting for the "No." to come.

"I- well, of course… Um, is everything okay? Are you okay?" Soobin's tone is concerned and he speaks kind of fast for Soobin. "Are you hurt?"

"No, none of that really. I'm fine, Hyung. Just-" he scratches his nape. "My apartment flooded and I'm feeling really icky, I just want to take a shower and rest."

"Flooded?" Soobin questions. "How serious is it?"

"Not sure, I had to get out of there because it smelled like… well, feces." Kai cringes. "Um, sorry for the TMI but I need to get cleaned up like, now. Can I come?"

"Sure, do you need a ride?"

"No, no. I can take the bus or walk, it's fine. I wouldn't want to stink your car. It's really bad, Hyung."

"I see, I'll- sure, you can come. I'm leaving right now, but I'll have a spare key for you under the rug. You remember where everything is right?"

Kai hums, for some reason feeling touched that Soobin had agreed with little to no questions asked. But he's not surprised, he doesn't even know why he hesitated to ask him when Soobin was nothing but kind and pure hearted towards him. "Yeah, I remember. Thank you, Hyung. Really."

"I wouldn't leave you without a place to stay. I'm glad you called me Kai-ah. You're always welcome here."

Kai swallows over a thick lump in his throat. "T-Thank you, Hyung."

"Text me when you're here. You want something from the supermarket?"

"Oh-"

"Some snacks?"

"Nothing in particular, Hyung."

"Okay, I'll see you soon!" Soobin's voice is warm over the phone as if he's trying to console him.

Kai ends the call and begins walking towards the bus station, deeming his feet unwell to walk the distance between his apartment and Soobin's. They're already sore as it is, if he wants them in working shape for tomorrow a bus is his only option.

He's been in Soobin's place once or twice before and knows his way around the streets to the address Soobin sends him in their chat. He gets off the bus and walks on the strikingly clean sidewalk over to Soobin's 2 story building. He passes by the coffee house Soobin lives above, taking the elevator and breathing in the clear air, free from any hint of homeless urine and weed smell.

Suddenly Kai feels like the odd one, standing in his simple clothes, his half-soaked pants in smelly water, and the wet squelch his shoes do in every step. He hopes to god the elevator won't be occupied because if so he pities the person who will share that with him. In the same way, you wouldn't want anyone in the elevator with you while you take the garbage downstairs.

Kai stands in the middle and presses the button to Soobin's floor which is the second one. He gets off and takes a right into the hall. The purple welcome mat greets him, and he avoids stepping on it and lifts it up carefully to find a green key under it.

He opens the door to dry land. Soobin's humble abode welcomes him with open arms and he walks inside and closes the door behind him. He's careful not to touch anything, his bag was left outside Soobin's door as well as his wet shoes.

Soobin's place is neither small nor big, but definitely bigger than the shoe box Kai lives in. The floors are furnished, and the air is crisp and clean with a hint of floor detergent. The light is slightly dimmed but Kai leaves them like so and goes straight for the shower he knows is located on the second left door in the hallway.

There's a towel hung on the door which he assumes is fine to use. He discards his clothes in a rolled pile on the floor and puts them in a clear plastic bag he found lying around next to the washing machine. He closes it tightly to keep the smell from spreading and he hops into the shower, glad to wash the last nineteen hours off his body.

The water pressure is divine, better than the one in the showers in the locker room of the construction site, and so are the bath essentials. The soap smells like simple lavender and vanilla, which suits Soobin. It's not the industrial bar soap they get at the shower, and neither is it the cheap liquid soap Kai has in his place and is watered down almost completely until it loses its scent completely and Kai has to buy a new one.

The hot water feels so good on Kai's tangled, knotted muscles. The steam and scalding water make him feel instantly better, both physically and mentally. This is what he needed after stepping into his apartment today. The nausea that took over had disappeared when the water hit his body and the freshness of the air in Soobin's apartment healed his traumatized nose.

Kai takes a deep breath, and the water runs over his body in a way that is both calming and grounding. He stands under the stream and allows his face to be submerged in the water and it hits him softly. He pushes the hair that fell on his face, matted from the water back with his hands.

The grease leaves his scalp with a few pumps of shampoo. Washed and drained in the shower drain.

Kai turns off the water and pushes his hair back before stepping out, feeling lighter as if weights dropped off his shoulders. His body no longer feels like lead, but the fatigue is still there even though it's dulled out.

With the towel wrapped around him he gets out to the fresh air, a deep contrast between the thick steam in the shower to the clear air in the apartment. It's purifying.

Me: Hyung, I forgot to ask. Would it be okay to borrow clothes? Mine's all soiled.

Soobin-Hyung: Go ahead. I'll be around in about an hour or so.

Me: Okii, Thank you a lot.

Kai feels somewhat comfortable walking around in the apartment after his shower, no longer feeling icky and gross. He walks into Soobin's room which is neat aside from a few clothes hung on the revolving chair and the bedding a little messed up as if someone had left in a hurry in the morning.

Although the closet smells of mint, it isn't well organized, with piles of clothes just sort of shoved in there. Kai fishes what seems about his size and is wearable.

 He doesn't bother with closing the door, just getting dressed in the middle of Soobin's room and dropping the towel in the bin inside the bathroom.

Soobin's couch looks inviting as if it has just been vacuumed. Kai wipes the beads of water from his nape and crashes on the clean couch, pulling a fluffed pillow from somewhere and tucking it under his head.

His heavy eyelids shut almost immediately after his back meets the softness of the couch, and he sinks into the feeling of cleanliness and the AC emitting cold air and fighting the heat outside, he is no longer sweating which is a bliss on its own.

His throat is a little dry, but he doubts he'll leave the comfort of the couch to get himself a chilled glass of water.

Slowly, but not very, Kai falls asleep. Forgetting everything about his place, the smell, the dirty streets, the blood, the stench. And allows himself to take a breath of fresh air and sleep.

The cold air hits his face in a godly way. He folds and lays on his side, stretching on the couch. The creases between his eyebrows relax and the tension leaves his face leaving room for a peaceful, sound sleep.

Chapter Text

Soobin sets the grocery bags down, filled with produce and some unhealthy snacks to feed the soul. He takes Kai's shoes that lay beside the door by the hand and walks inside.

The AC is on, so he concurs he must've forgotten to turn it off where he left it to grab some things to fill his pantry and fridge. The first thing he does when he walks in is push the bags inside and close the door behind him, then he throws a glance towards the couch and surely Kai is sprawled there, sleeping in a fetal position, dressed in simple clothes from Soobin's closet.

Soobin walks past him and opens the clear glass doors to the porch where he takes a tup and fills it with water, then dunks Kai's shoes there and goes back inside. In the bathroom, he finds a bag with Kai's clothes, and he throws them inside the washing machine and lets it work. The hum of the machine fills the room, and he closes the door of the bathroom behind him to muffle it so that it won't bother Kai.

But he doesn't think even a bulldozer can wake the younger from his deep sleep. he must've been tired if he fell asleep like this. Soobin fetches a blanket from the other room and drapes it over the younger before going to put the groceries in place.

…………………………

Kai stirs awake from a nudging on his shoulder. His head lulls to the other side of the couch, half asleep. He opens his eyes warily and sees a very blurry image of Soobin and the couch dips. "Five minutes, Hyung… " he mumbles.

"You need to eat; you haven't had breakfast."

"Ngh…" Kai opens his mouth and closes it and then pulls the blanket higher to his chin. "Not hungry." He closes his eyes, succumbing to the warmness inside the fluffy blanket. There's a yawn that comes from the deepest depths of his soul; he closes his mouth again and stretches his limbs on the soft surface.

"I'm not really giving you an option, Kai, either you wake up or I'll sit on you. And my six foot one is heavy, believe it or not. Come on," Soobin gets up. "I made eggs."

It takes Kai approximately fewer minutes of lying down, his eyes trying to focus on the white ceiling, wondering why… just why? It's hard to shake the sleep off especially where it was the best he had in a few months.

He tips his head back and sees Soobin plating a portion of eggs on two plates along with some kimchi and steamed rice.

"I'm sitting on you in one…two-" Soobin counts back and Kai rolls his eyes and swigs his legs off the couch.

"Fine, fine. Jeez… you can be stubborn when you want to be."

Soobin nods and sits down next to the table. "Did you contact your landlord about the flood?"

Kai takes a big bite of eggs and a spoonful of rice and nods with his cheeks stuffed. He waits and after swallowing he says. "They said it's a week's repair, and it's pricey. I'm not sure how to go about it, but I might go to a shelter nearby, already called them to see if there's room."

"Shelter?"

"Yeah," Kai takes kimchi with his chopsticks and places it in his bowl of rice. "I spent a few nights there before closing the lease with my current place, so they're familiar with me already. It's not ideal but I can spend a week there until my apartment's livable again-"

"No."

Kai pauses with his mindless talking, and it's not because there's a spoon inside his mouth with a heaping amount of food. "Huh?" he hums confusedly with a mouthful. He chews while seeing Soobin shrug in his gray hoodie.

"I'm not letting you sleep in some god-knows-what shelter for homeless and weird… I don't know what types of people even go there-"

"Me types of people."

Soobin dismisses him. "Listen, I don't really even care, you're not going there. It's a last-option place, and there is no reason why you'd go there instead of staying here for a week. Just the fact that you're here speaking of it is frankly insulting. So, eat your eggs."

"But, Hyung-"

"Eat your eggs, and this is the last we discuss it." Soobin pulls the drawstrings on his hoodie and gets up to get some water from the machine. "Shelter," he mumbles. "Are you kidding me, Kai?" he shakes his head. "What's wrong with you." He sets two water glasses on the table and they continue eating in quiet.

"It might take longer than a week, Hyung." Kai intercepts after a few minutes. "I mean, I can't possibly-"

"Yes, you can possibly." He parrots after him in a nasal voice, copying his tone. Kai scrunches his nose in distaste. "In case you haven't noticed, Kai." He says his name is almost a sassy-like tone. "We're like… " he points at him and then at Kai repeatedly as if he's explaining the concept to a five-year-old "Friends." He says as if it's an obvious fact, but the thing is, Kai didn't have many opportunities to navigate real friendships, he doesn't know how to go about it. At all. "And none of my friends ever slept in a shelter before, you know why?"

Kai now feels a little dumb for even bringing that up, but strangely not in a totally bad way.

"Because we're friends and they're not stupid, Kai." Soobin sighs and raises his glass. "Don’t be stupid." He gulps the water.

Kai pushes his tongue on his cheek and blinks. "But it'll take a while, Hyung."

Soobin shoots him a kind of glare that is not scary because it's Soobin and as much as he tries, he just wouldn't be able to look scary, but it's still enough to shut Kai down almost completely. "Okay… " he relents even though he is still not convinced on how okay it is. "At least let me help with the share of the rent?" he suggests.

Soobin raises his eyebrows. "I'll think about it." He says in a way that makes Kai think that he will most certainly not. Still, he takes what he can get.

……………………….

When Saturday rolls around Kai gathers his money in an envelope and pays his parents' landlord a short visit after the very pleasurable last one.

He knocks on the door a few times, something he did not have the courtesy of doing the last time. When the landlord opens up, he half expects Kai to lash out again, but Kai shoves the money in his hands. "For the last three months, and the next two months. I deducted money for the plumbing problems you have yet to fix, when you do, I'll give you the rest. Do we have an agreement?"

The landlord opens the envelope with hesitancy and counts the money. "There's two hundred missing."

"Fix the drainage, then."

"This is ridiculous." He huffs, looking at Kai with defiance until he sees that Kai is only staring at him, not saying another word. He challenges him with a tilt of his head to complain more and see what happens.

The landlord closes the envelope with a displeased grunt and mumbles a bitter "fine." Under his lips, closing the door quickly.

……………………….

When Kai walks into the pet clinic, his face unassuming and his hair swept by the warm wind outside he is greeted with a warm hug from Kwan. "Beomgyu's in the other room putting out food," he tells him.

Kai nods along and pockets his hands, passing by the clinic and peaking his head through the room where the pets are kept in their large cages. He meets eyes with Beomgyu almost instantly and a wide, surprised smile spreads on the older boy's face. "Kai!" He sets the bowls on the table and his long bangs cover most of his crescent eyes.

Beomgyu dusts off some of the food crumbs on his hands and wraps his arms around Kai, and the other does the same. "Hey." Kai rests his hand on the back of Beomgyu's head and leans his chin on the top.

"What are you doing here?" Beomgyu's voice is slightly muffled, his fists holding Kai's thin shirt. "I thought you were at your parents' today." He breathes in and nuzzles closer. He loves hugging Kai like this, feels like hugging a very soft tree, strong and reliable but so incredibly soft.

"They're out, thought I'd come visit you instead." Kai's voice dips a little lower and quieter as so he does when they're alone.

"Hmm," Beomgyu hums, tightening his grip. The days have been busy both in college with the end of the semester and at the clinic. He barely had any time to visit Kai, and when he did it was only to drop off food or steal a hug before returning to his classes to work on his final assignments.

Kai's hands trail from Beomgyu's nape to the hairs at the back of his neck and go up to the top of his head. He doesn't know if it's too intimate to place a kiss there, so he doesn't. But he wants to. "Do you have an hour or two?" he asks.

"'Think so…" Beomgyu says after a few seconds. He raises his head, so they're face to face, and he's once again captivated by how godly Kai looks on a random Saturday. He wants to take a bite of those cheeks, steal his sculpted nose, and never give it back. his lips form a lazy, stupid smile. He tilts his head. "Why are you asking?" He sounds a little breathless too, but Kai doesn't seem to notice, and if he does it isn't apparent.

"I have something I want to do." Kai's hand comes from Beomgyu's nape to his cheek and Beomgyu's breath hitches briefly. "And there's something I want to give you… " Pink dusts Kai's cheek and Beomgyu thinks he might just be the cutest hot boy he ever known.

Wordlessly, and dumbly blinded by his love for Kai, he nods. And then, he remembers his chores. "Um." He scratches his head of hair. "I just need to finish portioning the food, is that alright?" he turns over to Kai, and the taller nods with a small smile and leans off the table, overwatching Beomgyu. "After, I'll ask my dad if he needs me. But I think I can take a few hours off."

Kai nods again. "Do you need any help?"

"No, It's fine." Beomgyu holds a bowl and scops two scops into it and weighs it on the scale. "You can stand there and look like Kai until I'm done."

Kai huffs, his cheeks red and he touches his nose slightly with his finger. "Alright."

"Can you give me a hint on what it is you want to give me?" Beomgyu lifts his eyes from the scale to give Kai an innocent blinking of his beautiful almond eyes, the eyelashes brushing his cheeks so delicately, that Kai almost caves right then and there.

But he shakes his head with a lovesick stare. "Sorry." He says sweetly as if someone dipped his voice in sugar. "No can do, you'll have to wait." His lips go up in a teasing smirk. "You can wait… right, Hyung?" his tone dries Beomgyu's throat. He's not sure if Kai is teasing him or not.

He leans on that table, with his arms crossed and intentionally flexed, or not. Definitely not, and for some reason it's much hotter.

"Beomgyu?"

"Uh?"

"You alright?"

"Uh. Hmm."

……………………

The two find a relatively clear area around the park where families are barbecuing, opening portable tables, and enjoying their Saturdays with their kids who are running around, exploring the swings and slides until they are called to eat.

Kai's hand fidgets beside Beomgyu as they walk around before his pinky brushes Beomgyu's pinky slightly. The two look at each other and red creeps on Beomgyu's ears. Kai's hand engulfs his own and he looks ahead, clearing his throat.

A warm feeling flutters in Beomgyu's chest and he smiles to himself, squeezing Kai's hand in his. It's not soft, but rather rough and almost sandpaper-like, but it's Kai's.

Kids run past them and their squealing laughter fills the silence and drowns the sound of the chirping birds around.

Kai holds the picnic blanket on one side and Beomgyu on the other. They drape in on the soft grass and take off their shoes in sync.

Beomgyu dusts off the blanket before he takes a seat and crosses his legs, grabs his ankles close, and watches the sun rays going through the branches of the high-up trees, making a light pattern on the green grass. "So," he looks at Kai and he nudges his shoulder to shoulder. "What did you want to show me?" his tone piques in curiosity.

"I feel like I built it up way too much." Kai's tone is apologetic and the crease between his eyebrows appears. "It's really not that much, actually."

"But what's is it?" Beomgyu's tone is pushy. "I don’t care, I'm curious." He whines.

"Okay." Kai bites his bottom lip. "But promise me that you're not expecting much."

"I'm not," Beomgyu answers fast. getting giddier despite his promise. He searches with his eyes over Kai's body to try and figure out what the younger wants to give him that can be too small to fit in a pocket.

"I didn't even get the chance to wrap it, or anything… so really, it's not much-"

"Kai!" Beomgyu laughs. "I don't care," he swoops his long bangs. "Just show me, even if it's a cookie crumb, I'll take it."

Kai takes a deep breath and nods with a smile. "Okay." Feeling reassured. "But-" he tilts his head cutely. Does he know he's that cute or is he oblivious, Beomgyu wonders to himself. "Would you mind just, closing your eyes? Maybe." He blushes like a tomato and how on earth will Beomgyu tell him no?

Beomgyu closes his eyes slowly, his body swaying left and right. He hears some shuffling around. A gush of wind blows his hair aside gently and he fixes them and sits patiently with his eyes closed, waiting to hear something that'll give away any hints.

"Sorry, It's a big tangled. Just a few more seconds."

Beomgyu hears a little jiggle of something, but he can't determine the material of it. His eyebrows bunch in concentration.

Then, silence. "Okay, you can open your eyes." He sounds nervous, which to Beomgyu sounds adorable. Because, really, he'd take anything Kai would give him no matter how small or insignificant.

He opens his eyes slowly and Kai is holding something shiny and silver in his palm. Beomgyu takes a double look. "Can I?"

Kai drops the bracelet in Beomgyu's hands and lets the older one inspect it with gradually growing eyes. The silver chain feels cool in Beomgyu's hands, it's thin and polished, with an intricate, delicate design of thin metal looping into one enough and a small little metal charm the shape of a tree, with branches so detailed that it's hard to see unless you look closely. It's gentle and beautiful. Complex yet so gentle on the eyes. It's as if the looping metal is because of the vines of the tree, blending so nicely.

 He simply can't take his eyes off the mesmerizing bracelet, and the wild thought that it's his, that Kai wants him to have it. "Kai… " that thought is more beautiful than the bracelet. "You didn't need to do that." The words get choked up in his throat. "How, how that did that even cost… " he shakes his head. "I can't even imagine- you need to return it; I can't take that." He says but can't stop staring at it. He should stop though. If Kai had spent such a sum on him, he needs to give that back.

How would he live with himself knowing Kai breaks his back for his money just to bring him something like this? As much as he wants it, there are better ways for Kai to spend his well-earned money and it's not on Beomgyu.

"Hyung, there's nowhere to return it to." Kai shrugs. "I made it with some metal I found lying around the site."

Beomgyu's head shoots up so fast that Kai flinches back a little and gives him a worried look. Beomgyu stares at him as if he just fell from the sky and then he laughs drily, waiting for Kai to say sike. But he just continues looking. "What do you mean?"

"I-" Kai almost looks a little sorry. "I wanted to give you something, that showed how I see you. Kind of, but I can't afford jewelry, at least not the nice kind. But you deserve nice things, Hyung. And I know that metal scraps from a construction site don't really scream nice in your face. but I tried polishing it after melting, and I cleaned it a little, and just added some designs. I told you it's nothing much, but still I wanted… " he takes a breath. "I wanted to show you I care."

Beomgyu blinks. "I'm sorry, You made this?"

"Yeah." Kai drags his words. "That's um, what I said." His facial expression changes slightly. "Do you not like it, Hyung."

"You made it all… " Beomgyu can't seem to wrap his mind around the concept. "Like, from scratch?"

Kai drags his teeth over his lip and nods.

Pure wonder takes over Beomgyu's face and he looks down on the jewelry in his hand, the precious bracelet that was perfectly orchestrated by Kai's… hands. Suddenly it holds a different meaning that makes it all the more wonderful. "You made it?" Beomgyu asks again but it sounds more like an epiphany, and Kai doesn’t answer because it sounds rhetorical.

He's answered twice before.

Beomgyu returns it back to Kai.

"Hyung?"

He hands out his wrist. "Could you clasp it on, please?"  

Kai makes a surprised yet relief oh Before releasing an airy laugh and nodding. "Sure." He takes the small clasp between his fingers and places the thin chain over Beomgyu's pale wrist. The silver compliments Beomgyu's fair skin tone wonderfully and gives it a new light. "So, do you like it?" he closes the clasp over the hoop and gives the chain a few tugs to see if it's not too loose.

"You're insane, Kai." Beomgyu goes to incept the bracelet on his wrist, it's light and pretty. "Of course I love it… you-" he looks up, his expression is unreadable. "You made it, seriously? You're not lying?"

Kai just blushes cutely and shrugs, biting the loose skin on his lips. "It wasn't too difficult. I- I work with metal quite often at work, and I'm good with small, delicate mechanics… " he seems to brush off the hard work he put into the gift with technical reasoning.

"This is incredible, Kai. It's so… " Beomgyu looks at the bracelet then at Kai again. "I didn't know you could do that, and the branches… " his mind briefly short fuses because, if he's honest he had sculpting class in college, it's part of the art program he's in, and other than the fact that metal bending is intricate and difficult work, making something this delicate and detailed is something he couldn't achieve even at the end of his course. It's something none of the students could achieve really. It's not just beginner-level. Kai is acting as if it's nothing, but Beomgyu knows that being able to turn a piece of metal from just a scrap into anything pretty, really, takes a lot of work and most importantly, talent and knowledge.

It isn't just painting a wall or learning how to knit. It's a skill that not a lot possess. The only person Beomgyu knows who knows metal sculpting is his professor who had learned from real masters for more than half of his life.

"You're incredible, Kai. I don't even know what to say… why- why are you downplaying this? It's beautiful."

"It's just a bracelet, Hyung."

Beomgyu shakes his head. "This is ridiculous, Kai. I don't even-" he sighs. "I love it, I love it a lot. Thank you." His voice is filled with thick gratitude that it hits Kai directly. From Beomgyu's mouth right to his heart.

He smiles in gentle satisfaction while his heart quietly explodes. "You do?"

Beomgyu nods, his fingers trailing the chain. He lifts his eyes from the silver jewel and his eyes soften even more when he meets Kai's gleeful gaze. He holds his wrist with his other hand, the fingers wrapped around. The breath gets stuck in his throat when it hits him once again that the boy who he is looking at right now, so kind-hearted and pure, had crafted something so meaningful, just for him. Made from the kindness of his heart and his skillful hands.

His heart skips a beat, flooded with an unknown feeling. It's neither light nor heavy and settles there in his chest while he studies Kai's everything, from his kind eyes to his pink dusted cheeks, and bashful expression. The way he's sitting on the blanket, his hands hugging his knees in a position that is almost tense and shy. But the smile on his face is warm.

"I love it," Beomgyu repeats, his eyes trailing back to Kai's eyes and he blinks when he looks down, feeling moisture in his eyes because he's just so damn touched, how could he not be? His heart swells so hard every time he remembers the presence of the bracelet against his skin. "I love it, I love you."

Kai's eyes light as he is taken aback slightly, as if his brain is taking a few short moments to process the words but his body is already showing signs of ecstasy. Those fireworks, that people say only happen in the movies. They're very real.

At once, the background noise quiets down as if something turned it down. Kai is sure he can hear fireworks going off in the distance, but his focus is on Beomgyu. His body slacks as he blinks and the confession replays in his mind, repeatedly.

His body is both numb and buzzing as the serotonin releases from his brain and goes crazy inside his mind as if it's having its party. "Hyung," he calls breathlessly.

Beomgyu perks up.

"Can I kiss you?"

Kai can't even hide his excitement when Beomgyu nods wordlessly, just wanting Kai to skin the formality and take his first kiss away from him. It's going to be him, and Beomgyu couldn't be less happy he waited around for the right person.

Kai goes about it slowly, firstly inching a bit closer although they already have only a few inches apart. His hand goes hesitantly to rest upon Beomgyu's nape. His ears burn hot. Beomgyu closes his eyes slowly, feeling only the brief gushes of wind, the chirp of the birds, and the distant laughter.

And then, Kai's breath on his face, faint but there. The wait almost seems endless, and Kai's gentle touch ignites something under Beomgyu's skin and finally, he feels a soft pair of lips against his own. It's only a brush, at first. But he pulls into it, chases it, and then, it's becoming firmer and more present and he can taste Kai.

It's sweet, and the feeling is unlike what Beomgyu expected it to be. It's light, almost. He feels Kai's hand on his waist, pulling him closer.

Beomgyu doesn't know what do to with his own, nor does he have the brain capacity to change that now.

They break apart rather quickly, but their faces are still inches apart. Beomgyu looks at Kai with a new sense of appreciation, his eyes fondly tracing Kai's face. He can't control the smile spreading on his face and it brings the same reaction out of Kai.

Kai pulls him back for a short yet blissful peck and then they break apart, still in public with hopefully not a lot of eyes on them.

It's different than what Beomgyu saw on TV. There was no tongue, licking, swallowing of mouth, or the heavy breaking of both characters who kiss each other hungrily. No, it was almost calm, sedating. They weren't super close, all over each other and touching everywhere but it still felt intimate. So much so that it makes Beomgyu's heart speed and beat loudly. He could feel Kai even if it was brief and could smell the shampoo he used on his hair, the detergent of his clothes, and light mint from his mouth.

"I love you too, Hyung. A lot." Kai's confession comes soon after, not letting Beomgyu's words hang around for long. Their hands intertwine, and Beomgyu lays his head on Kai's shoulder, the smile lingering on his face. "Thank you for trusting me."

"With what?" Beomgyu's voice is gentle. Soothed with joy.

"Your first kiss," Kai leans his palms on the grass, his back gravitating backward. "Thank you for letting me have it," he says shyly.

"If not you, it would be no one." Beomgyu nestles closer and Kai wraps his arms around him, going up to play with his fluffed, wind-tousled hair. "I only trust you, Kai."