Archive of Our Own ^beta

They were cornered. Sure, it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence during fights, but it was thoroughly annoying nonetheless. Scout and Spy were pressed up against a wall about a foot away from each other, a Sniper waiting to get a shot at them from his vantage point on the opposite side of the wall. The opposite team’s Pyro was roaming around near the only other exit, keeping Spy from cloaking and leaving Scout to fend for himself.

“Damnit, they have us trapped.” Scout groaned, dropping his bat at his feet and leaning annoyedly on the wall. It reminded Spy of how a little kid would act when he was frustrated. The Frenchman scoffs and turns to peek out of the shattered window. A bullet whizzed through the air mere inches from his head, lodging itself into the worn-down building’s wooden wall. Spy decided to side-step away from the window, as he quite preferred having his brain intact and not shot through by a piss-jar hoarding Australian.

“I mean, honestly? How many times can a guy get surrounded in one match? Like five minutes ago we were getting spawn-camped, and before that—“

Well, so much for Spy’s brain. He sighs and takes out a cigarette, praying to no one in particular that it would help with the headache he was about to get from getting trapped with this child.

Of course, Spy knew that Jeremy was his. He always had. That didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to be annoyed to hell and back by the kid. It had been his extreme displeasure to learn that his son had joined the Teufort gravel wars alongside him, but he didn’t have a good enough reason to get Scout to quit without revealing the truth.

There had been a couple close calls. Once, when Jeremy had come over to his mother’s for a “surprise visit” while Spy was with her. He was lucky to have brought his cloaking watch with him that day. Another time, the woman herself had been permitted to visit the base for Scout’s birthday, and almost let the secret slip while the kid was in the room.

Most of the other mercs on his team had either figured it out or been told by Spy himself, if anything for the sake of making sure no one told him. Naturally, The Administrator and Miss Pauling knew, the former very pointedly not caring in the slightest. The small handful of his coworkers that had been left unawares included Soldier (he couldn’t be trusted not to let it slip), Pyro (they didn’t truly understand what he was talking about), and, obviously, Scout himself.

“-right, Spy?” Scout’s loud voice drew him out of his ruminations. “Spy?”

Spy looked down at Scout, who was looking at him expectantly for an answer.

“Excusez-moi?” Spy drawled, having been caught not paying attention.

“You weren’t listening to a thing I just said, were you?” Scout looked at him annoyedly.

”Unfortunately, you didn’t seem to be saying anything worth paying attention to.” He replied in a falsely mournful tone, taking a drag of his cigarette.

Scout shot him a glare. “Y’know, maybe if you actually paid attention to your teammates, we wouldn’t be sitting here waiting for someone to come along and shoot us.”

“And, perhaps, if you would say and do more useful things, we would not have gotten into this predicament in the first place, hm?” The Frenchman replied smoothly, flicking off the ashes off the end of his cigarette and continuing to pay only half attention to Jeremy.

Scout glares up at him, blue eyes burning holes into the side of the Spy’s balaclava. His eyebrows furrowed up and he crossed his arms defensively.

”Yeah, fuck you too, Spy.”

“Hmph. It’s extraordinary how much you look like Collie when you pout.” Spy muses, distracted enough that he didn’t notice how he’d vocalized the thought.

“Pouting? I am not—” Scout cut himself off, and his eyes widened.

”…how did you know my Ma’s name?”

Spy nearly dropped his cigarette. He hadn’t meant to say that aloud. He sputtered, then quickly made an attempt to mask the look on his face.

”What was that?”

”My mom. How do you know what her name is?”

”I do research on all my coworkers.” He replied, lying through his teeth. “You think any spy worth his mask wouldn’t research the men he is to be living with?”

Scout gave him a dirty look. “You snooped around in our personal files?”

”Who wouldn’t? It’s quite the reasonable thing for an experienced investigator to do,”

”Yeah?”

”Oui.”

“What’s Pyro’s mom’s name, then?”

”The Pyro doesn’t count, idiot. They have, unsurprisingly, barely any information on them.”

”Fine. What’s Medic’s?”

Spy paused. He’d been caught in the half-lie. In reality, he actually had ended up perusing through some of the team’s files, but certainly not enough to the point where he’d remember random trivia like dead, useless, unextortable family members. Though the Medic did have a rather interesting history... He cleared his throat, swiftly regaining his slick persona.

”I… didn’t get that far into his.”

”You’re lying.”

”I do tend to do that, yes.” Responded Spy smoothly.

Scout scoffed, uncrossing his arms and bouncing his leg up and down restlessly. The younger merc clearly didn’t like being trapped in the building, and Spy’s vague yet suspicious words seemed to have made the annoyance far worse.

“Why won’t you just tell me?” He started again.

”Why do you need to know?” Spy muttered.

”Because it’s my mom?”

”I don't see how that makes it important for me to share.”

”I just wanna know how you know her.”

”How unfortunate for you.”

”Spy.”

”Oui?” He took a drag of his cigarette, blowing the smoke into the air; an act that made Scout’s nose scrunch up.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know.” Scout retorted. “Were you coworkers? Was my Ma a spy, too?!”

Spy rolled his eyes and took another drag. ”No.”

”…Roommates?”

”No.”

”Friends from school?”

”You think your mom went to school in France?” He scoffed, starting to get annoyed with the boy.

“Didja meet her at her job sometime? Pen pals? You had a spy job in Boston?” Scout furrowed his brow.

”Were you a—“

”If I tell you, will you shut up?” Spy snapped.

The younger mercenary’s eyes widened, and he nodded.

”You cannot be annoying about it, though. Got it?” Spy pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t believe that he was about to finally admit this, after twenty-five years. He takes a deep breath.

”Scout… I am your father.”

He glares over at Spy. “Not cool, man. I don’t have a dad. Never met him, he walked out or died or something.”

Scout paused, frowned, and then laughed sarcastically.

”Oh, I get it. Yeah yeah, real funny. An “I fucked your mom” joke?” Scout picks up his baseball bat to fiddle with it boredly. ”Jesus, Spy, you actually had me thinking you were gonna give me an answer.”

Spy raised an eyebrow. “I’m not kidding, Jeremy.”

“How did you know my real— oh, the files? So funny I forgot to laugh. Joke’s over, jerk.”

Scout rolled his eyes at the other merc, but after taking in his dead-serious and slightly guilty expression, he realized that the Spy appeared to be dead serious.

“Wait, you’re not joking.” He sputters, the bat once again clattering to the half-rotten wooden ground..

”Unfortunately for the both of us, I am not.” Spy mutters.

Scout struggles for words. “But- But that means-“

”I know it must be confusing, but-“

”I’m FRENCH-?!” Interrupts Scout. His hands flinging to the sides of his head.

”You- what?“ Spy does a double take. “This is what you’re getting out of this? That is your immediate first thought, not a question, not anger, not even a stupid joke? You are upset that you’re… French.”

”Of course I’m mad, I—“

Before Scout got a chance to finish, the end of the fight was signified. The opposite team had won, as both Spy and Scout were incapacitated for the last third of the matchup. Spy took this as an opportunity to cloak before heading back to their team’s base.

”Oh, real mature, Spy! You’re just going to drop that and leave?!”