Chapter Text
TG2: ok so it starts like
TG2: fanfare first
TG2: and then a hush all over the entire east state like two hundred grandmas just metaphorically died on their family dinners as the red velvet drops to the floor
TG2: suddenly the sickest beat drops ill as fuck like we dropped back into the eighties hip hop scene and elevated outta the floor
TG2: tall blond and handsome spewing rhymes and breakdance moves like you aint ever seen all whilst wearing the shiniest gayest panties imagineable cause we agreed on that
TG2: spoiler its me
TG: uh huuh
TG2: and then enter blonde bombshell number two stage right with the anime eyes and obviously flanked with roughly thirty billion sea foam bubbles from the science lab like venus decided to crash the party
TG2: blastin the audience with her hella voluptuous beauty boobs or twin bazookas whatever fits better for the folks at home
TG: spoilery its ME
TG: boom baby
TG2: crowd goes fucking ape shit its scripted
TG2: yo pipe down in the peanut crowd
TG: apologies bb speareshake plz spin more glistenin yarns
TG: sonny jim
TG: hot totastertoddler
TG: hot
TG: toddy
TG2: stop this is serious a serious fucking play cmon
TG2: im expecting you to fight like eighteen whole soccer moms and barbecue dads for the front row seats just to sob all over your camcorder lamenting the many years ive been existing just to get here
TG2: embarrassing wolf whistle and standing ovation every five minutes and everything
TG2: cheering me on like the proud parent you are while saving the footage of my talented ass obscured by your snot dribble for my twenty first or whatever
TG: ok ok....but
TG: if im in the audience AND
TG: im in the plane
TG: THEN WHO WAS PLANE??
TG2: you just said plane twice and cross memed mom do you need to sit down
TG: yes
TG: but do u need to sit down ?
TG: in my lap???????
TG2: thats not
TG: come here baby boy lets watch your show togehter
TG: got the best seat right here
TG2: so i thought i was telling you how this goes down
TG: well yeah
TG: but i am the """adult""" here in this situation and so therefore know heaps wiser
TG: and also i want 2 comment bc im a fun mom
TG2: you are a fun mom mom i already know this you dont gotta prove it to me
TG2: im having such a great time right now fun is literally pouring out of my earholes and filling my sinuses im probably so excited im about to die
TG: AWWWWWWWW
TG: thats enough disgusting flattery from u young man lets get down 2 sum nice clean bsns
TG: to defeat
TG: the huns
TG: spoiler alert again thats u you are the hun
TG2: christ
TG: srs tho youre using a lotta phlegm comparisons are you laden with a cold
TG: coz i do NOT want u snotting all over me as we do the dirty
TG: its not that kind o dirty if u kno what i mean
TG2: ...
TG2: what do you mean
TG: waht do i mean...
TG: ask me nicely davey.
TG: (hoh shit i brought out the punctuation do u see how srs i m))
TG2: what do you mean, mom
TG: what do i mean what, davey? gimme full sentences bub
TG2: jesus
TG2: what kind of dirty did you mean by your wacky ol' sentence there, mom?
TG: :') so polite
TG: idk bby i guess id get rid of all dat fanfare first
TG: tidy up a lil
TG: usher out all the guests and dead grandmas w my broom cuz this is OUR time bub
TG: we r wurkin on a clock here and that clock says.....no funny bsns!!!!
TG2: i thought you were fun mom
TG: i AM fun mom
TG: but mom comes first except 4 grammatically
TG: so first things first it is v likely that ill scoop yu up
TG2: like
TG2: carry me??
TG: maybe.
TG: ure a teensy bit big but we shall see
TG2: wow cant believe you just called me fat
TG2: murdered my boner right then and there
TG: whoops!
TG: there it goes
TG2: deflating balloon sounds
TG: hey hun?
TG2: yeah
TG: what do u reeeally want?
TG: ik we have established that you like this thing and ur no longer embarrassed by it w me
TG: ditto bromoski!
TG: but ur not tellin me the specifics apart frm the panties
TG2: i
TG2: whatever you want
TG: ......
TG2: ....
TG: ..............
TG2: ..
TG: ...........................
TG2: what
TG: DAVE
TG: U CANT JUST SAY THAT THIS IS ABOUT U
TG2: what i dunno christ rox why you gotta yell at me
TG: bc ur stubborn and DUMB
TG2: ok fine look honestly idk what i wanna do seeing as ive never actually done it before
TG2: i dont even have porn of this stuff and youre asking me to pull shit outta the top of my head like
TG: alrite bb hold your horsies
TG: real talk for a second bitch
TG: what do you like
TG: about the idea
TG: of me pretending to be your mom
TG2: ugh
TG2: the
TG2: welp obviously the mommy issues are a factor
TG: keep goin
TG2: no that was it that was the joke
TG2: i just
TG2: i like the idea of being doted on i guess
TG2: actual mommy issues
TG2: i only ever kinda got that from jade back in the day? thats probably why i crushed the hell out on her
TG2: i mean i got it like
TG2: pure and without the bromo jokes and i could tell she was impressed with me whilst also being above me so
TG2: wow that doesnt make sense wait
TG2: i mean she wasnt above me exactly but i
TG2: um
TG2: she put up with my bullshit?
TG: you want me to put up with your bullshit
TG2: no
TG2: it
TG2: whyre you turning all lalonde on me can you not be ecto slash voodoo brain related for a second
TG: i aaaam a lalonde davey
TG: but okay dokay i think i see what you are trying 2 get thru to me
TG: i think you need the reassurance
TG: and the insight
TG: that only a momma could have for her babe
TG: ((spoiler ur the babe)
TG2: yeah
TG2: ngl definitely got maximum swoonage here as per that insightfulness
TG2: deduce the fuck outta me momma
TG2: my body is prepared
TG: roflmalao
TG: i suppose i will...think on it???
TG: goggle some more mayhaps youd like to do this googling with me
TG2: sure why not just
TG2: keep the smelling salts handy
TG: you got it <3