Chapter Text
BECAUSE LORDS KNOWS WE NEED ONE…
When you think about it, there is something to be learnt of others, even if they exist across realities…
Multi-chat enabled.
Invitations send.
Remember that offensive nicknames are insta-ban.
This chat bandwidth is ∞.
User 1, User 2, User 3, User 4 added.
User 1: Uh…this is new.
User 2: The hell.
User 3: What the bloody hell is this device? And why I can use it?
User 4: How odd. I didn’t had a chat installed.
User 1 has changed (user name) to Tracer.
Tracer: Bloody hell this thing is rather complex for a ChatApp.
User 4 changed (user name) to Izuku.
Izuku: Don’t know why but it feels rather intuitive to use.
User 2 changed (user name) to Ren.
Ren: Just what I needed. Random programs on my cellphone.
User 3 has changed (user name) to Harry.
Harry: …why I know how to handle this? Never seen something like this ever.
Izuku: what do you mean? Aside the other options and this strange plug-in for the web browser all seems fine.
Harry: that. What is this? What is all this? Who are you people?
Ren: Ah, the oldest question, why are we here? Just to suffer?
Harry: not that you arse!
Ren: sorry. I deal with stress with sass and I am very stressed.
Tracer: okay. okay. how about we all introduce each other and try to figure out what’s going on.
Izuku: yes. I also think that would be great because I tried to erase the program and it said I lack ‘admin rights’
Izuku: also this thing is like 1mb in size. Is that even possible?
Tracer: No. okay then…my name’s Lena Oxton, I’m 26 and I am currently wondering why the UN hasn’t crashed on my home just yet.
Izuku: uh, okay. My name’s Izuku Midoriya, in 15 and I am one month away of…receiving the greatest power ever.
Izuku: which also might kill me. Also I am cleaning a beach. All of it.
Ren: …I don’t know what to do with that last info but okay.
Ren: name’s Ren Amamiya, I’m 16 and I want to punch God in the face.
Ren: or shoot it I’m not picky. Bitch.
Harry: I want to ask…but I dread the answer.
Harry: name’s Harry Potter, I’m 14 and I am stuck with my relatives.
Tracer: That is good. Nice. I am not good at this in chat.
Tracer: But right now I’ll take anything to distract me of the clusterfuck that is my life.
Harry: Can’t be that bad?
Tracer: There is a serious chance a war might be happening in the next months or so.
Ren: Okay that is bad. Distracts me of the fact I am being exiled to Tokyo.
Tracer: Exiled? What year are you living? 1666?
Ren: Is complicated.
Ren: also it’s 2016.
Tracer: 2016? Mate it’s 2081.
Harry: no. it’s 1994.
Izuku: Oh dear.
Izuku: everyone stop.
Izuku: Tracer-San.
Tracer: Lena, love.
Izuku: Oxton-San.
Tracer: polite one aren’t ya?
Izuku: Manners maketh men but that’s not important.
Izuku: Y’all gave different dates. I think I might know what’s going on.
Harry: please because this is giving me a headache.
Izuku: Okay, bear with me. Might go over the word limit.
Izuku: okay, I have currently three news sites open, all with different news. One detailing an attack on a museum and the almost theft of what is called the ‘Doomfist’ the second tab is detailing the rise and fall of former hero, Lady Nagant, the third tab is describing a bus crash against a bus stop, fifteen dead, the driver was found in a catatonic state, eyes rolled back and with black ichor coming out of his mouth and eyes.
Izuku: I cross-referenced them and none of them repeat on another news outlet, the one of the bus happened in Japan but there is no mention of hero rescue which leads me to believe this chat is…multiversal in nature. Years also don’t match up, days as well. In here the year is 2242.
Izuku: this leads me to believe we are all able to communicate somehow with one another with our cellphones, breaking barriers across time and space. Also I have a fourth tab opened, detailing how to make…Draught Of the Living Dead?
Tracer: Oh crickey, that sounds bad.
Harry: Bloody hell for real? I knew magic one day would break the universe.
Ren: Wait…you believe him?
Tracer: Trust me love, this isn’t the most outrageous thing I have ever heard or seen.
Harry: I want a normal year is it that hard to ask?
Izuku: I’m sorry?
Harry: nah mate, don’t worry about it so far this has been tame and honestly I needed someone to…write? Owl delivery is very slow and Ron has horrible calligraphy.
Harry: the less said about Hermione’s the better.
Ren: This can’t be real. This is a joke!
Tracer: Don’t jinx it you’re gonna regret it.
Ren has gone offline.
Harry: I’ll go out on a limb and say he didn’t take it well.
20:45…
Ren has come online.
Ren: …so…I am…need someone to talk to.
Ren: my parents are ignoring me.
Ren: my girlfriend dumped me and blocked me.
Ren: my…friends all dropped me like if I was the plague and the whole fucking town hates me.
Ren: i…need someone…anyone.
Tracer: Love, what’s happening on your end?
Harry: not gonna lie that sound horrible what happened?
Ren: …so…I was coming back from night school and I took an atypical road.
Ren: heard someone calling for help so I went to check.
Ren: found this bald looking assblaster drunk of his ass dragging a woman to a car.
Ren: so I did what I did.
Ren: which was mostly standing in his way and letting gravity do it’s thing.
Ren: apparently, alcohol and gravity don’t mix, who knew?
Ren: guy scrapped his head, then he started saying thigs like he would sue me.
Ren: two cops appeared form thin air. The guy has connections. Deep ones.
Ren: the girl sold me out in front of the two cops at the urging of that bastard.
Ren: I ended up in court a month ago. Seeing how my life unravel.
Ren: they got some crazy bitch prosecutor called Niijima who tried to get me ten years in jail.
Ren: thankfully my lawyer is godlike. No really he came out of the fucking ether and tore her ass up in front of the court.
Ren: still the judge ruled for a year probation in Tokyo. Bitch even had the nerve to tell me ‘justice prevailed’
Ren: couldn’t resist and told her that I’m not the one who lost.
Ren: she turned this lovely shade or red and said nothing. Worth it.
Harry: Bloody hell what the fuck!
Tracer: I’ll say are you okay love? No one is attacking you or anything right?
Ren: Nah. Just passive glares here and there and ignoring me. Still hurts. No one believes me.
Izuku: this trial…did you saw the guy again? Or the woman?
Ren: Nah. Guy didn’t had the guts to show his face and the woman was MIA too.
Izuku: the trial should have been dismissed then.
Izuku: accuser must be present and if not then he must present a valid reason, medical mostly, works matters little in these cases.
Izuku: it was fixed. All of it. your lawyer pulled a miracle.
Ren: I know! Thing smelled to fixed and yet the guy pulled for me!
Ren: I legit cried when I just got a year or probation instead of ten years in jail. Hugged him and all.
Ren: folks weren’t happy with him doing that.
Izuku: your parents weren’t happy you got a year or probation?
Tracer: what is going on your parents heads?
Harry: this sounds like my godfather’s trial.
Harry: Minus the end of a war, betrayal and murder.
Izuku: that…doesn’t sound right.
Izuku: yours and Harry-San I mean. Is your godfather okay?
Harry: he is mate thanks for asking. Escaped riding a hippogriff.
Izuku: it is sentences like that that remind me that magic IS real.
Izuku: I mean with Quirks bending the laws of…well everything around is not so farfetched.
Tracer: oh you have no idea how strange things get.
Tracer: like check this out. There is girl on Japan that apparently summons a spiritual fox.
Tracer: I would be the first to tell you that’s bollocks.
Tracer: then I have to remind myself my best friend is a hyper intelligent gorilla.
Tracer: and in testing a teleporting jet I ended up loose of the timestream itself.
Tracer: not to mention everything else going around the world.
Tracer: and Genji and his dragon living on his sword.
Ren: how the fuck everything you just wrote makes sense to me?
Harry: is this dragon on his sword dangerous?
Tracer: nah. Soba’s a cutie. Loves snuggles.
Izuku: the spiritual dragon living on a blade…likes snuggles?
Tracer: didn’t believe it myself but after a mission a year before Overwatch got…cancelled.
Tracer: anyway I was on a rut and then in comes this green noodle out of Genji’s blade.
Tracer: boops my nose and snuggles on my lap. Angela laughed at that and Genji swore.
Tracer: honestly Soba is more like a cat than a dragon. Granted it is a spiritual one in a sword but still.
Ren: huh. Were you military? You mentioned this Overwatch thing.
Tracer: …kinda.
Tracer: it is…a sore spot for me honestly.
Tracer: Mistakes were made and…let’s just say things could have gotten uglier.
Ren: hey, I get it. right now living my ugly time.
Ren: I guess one can try and see the bright side.
Ren: but when everyone is reminding you that you’re a fuck up then the bright becomes dark really quick.
Harry: What ren is trying to say is remember the good times and make more good times to chase the bad times.
Tracer: thanks love. That sounds…oddly mature for a kid like you two.
Ren: I avoided ten years in jail and a broken future, that matures you like a motherfucker.
Harry: so far my first three years at Hogwarts have…made me grown.
Harry: seen death too close for comfort if I’m being honest.
Ren: the fuck’s your school doing?
Harry: I wonder that myself sometimes.
Harry: which reminds me now I have to hit some books because I know Hogwarts ain’t teaching me how to keep my books.
Tracer: you have no business to do that.
Harry: If something I have learned of the Dursleys is to always have receipts and keep the books orderly.
Izuku: that is wise. God knows how many hero agencies wouldn’t close if they keep their books orderly. Or books at all.
Izuku: but before I turn to the night. Ren-San.
Tracer: oh he get the first name basis but I only get called by my last name I see how it is.
Ren: yes?
Izuku: do you regret it? that night?
Ren: …you know? No.
Ren: my only regret is actually not punching the guy.
Ren: that woman might have sold me. But I’m the reason she didn’t end up in that car that night.
Ren: like it or not, she owes me.
Ren: would do it again in a heartbeat. Just thinking something like that makes my blood boil.
Izuku: you moved before your brain told you so, right?
Ren: Yeah! You get it.
Ren: wait how you get what I’m trying to say.
Izuku: I had my moment too. Moved without thinking.
Izuku: only that my ‘bald one’ was literally living sludge mixed with sewage trying to force itself on the mouth of…someone I once called a friend.
Izuku: would do it again. It just sits wrong with me seeing injustices and doing nothing.
Izuku: but I guess I got lucky. Someone noticed and wanted me to nurture that nature.
Izuku: also the sludge guy was arrested. So yeah.
Tracer: huh.
Harry: not gonna lie living sewage trying to force its way into someone is something everyone should jump to prevent.
Ren: oh my god yes I wasn’t the only one thinking that.