Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Monarch! Your days of chaos are at an end!” Chat Noir shouted. I just need to keep him distracted until Ladybug can get the jump on him. Just stick to the plan. Just a little longer.

“You wish! I have almost all the Miraculous at my disposal, and all you have is two silly little trinkets, ha!” Monarch cackled.

“That may be so, but my partner’s plans do always seem to work out don’t they Loserarch!” 

“You’ll pay for that!” Monarch said as he attempted to strike.

Thankfully, Chat Noir immediately sensed the attack and sidestepped his foe. The thick overgrown foliage made it so easy to blend in the gardens surrounding the Agreste Mansion because of his black leather suit. Chat noticed Monarch was not on par with his usual game; he seemed driven by anger to the point where it over took his every thought and action. His attacks were strong, yes, but coordinated and properly thought out? Definitely not. 

This is why we don’t combine all the miraculous together, his mind supplied as he backflipped onto the oddly shaped window of his house. I hope Father is ok. “Now Ladybug!”

Ladybug taking the opportune time, grabbed all the miraculous rings from Monarch’s left hand, who howled in response. Then, she popped them all back into her yoyo for safe keeping. She then, as they had planned, took over distracting the villain so Chat could steal the other rings.

“You’ll both pay for that! You don’t know what you’re interfering with! My wish is noble and worthy of the miraculous!” Monarch screamed with a deranged smile on his face. 

“No wish is worthy you monster!” Chat Noir shouted back, “It would destroy the whole world! Nothing is worth that!”

“Everything is worth that! Everything!”

Ladybug knocked Monarch with her yoyo and gave Chat Noir and pointed look. Stick to the plan Chat. Now that his attention was distracted, Chat Noir lunged for Monarch’s other rings. Monarch saw this attack however, and grabbed Chat by the hair and threw him against the wall.

That was when Chat heard Ladybug yell his name as everything went silent. 

~~~~~

When he awoke Ladybug and Monarch were nowhere to be found. Thankfully Chat Noir was still transformed so his identity had not been exposed when he was unconscious. Chat’s mind raced as he looked outside the grounds. Where did they go? He needed to find them before Ladybug got hurt. She wouldn’t be able to hold him off forever. It seemed like they had continued to fight, judging by the knocked over trees and bushes. That trail led to a giant hole in his floor in his house. Where was Father and Nathalie? Did they get caught in the crossfire? Was Ladybug able to protect them? When he jumped down, thankfully, Ladybug was still in one piece.

“Ladybug! I’m here!” 

Immediately her head whipped around to the sound of his voice faster than a bullet. She made eye contact with him and called, “Chat you better get over here!”

He had no idea how long it had been, but from the looks of it she looked weathered. Her arms must have strained from deflecting Monarch’s long range attacks with her yoyo for so long. Chat Noir stepped in front to cover with his baton. Monarch realized this, and lunged for the ring, which Ladybug punched him out for. While they circled this weird cavern, Monarch screamed and pleaded with them. 

“You idiots don’t know what you’re doing! Stupid heroes! You’ve been caught up in my plans for far too long!” he yelled again. 

They offered no comment in response. And when the opportunity presented itself, Ladybug dove for the miraculous rings on his right hand, which she quickly stored away in her yoyo.

Chat smirked. We’re so close, just one more to go.

“NO!” Hawkmoth screamed, “You- you’ll pay!” he then grabbed Ladybug’s arm reaching for her earrings as she screamed.

“I won’t let you- you jerk!” Chat Noir shouted as he kicked him away. 

Hawkmoth stumbled away from the superhero duo as Chat assessed Ladybug’s condition.

“Are you ok?” Chat Noir asked.

“I’m fine,” Ladybug responded, “Let’s wipe the floor with him!”

Hawkmoth was fuming, looking quite ready to break, “Back to square one… back to square one… no, no, my darling,” he muttered as he turned momentarily toward a long silver case at the end of the cave. “No, no. Not this time!” he said as he punched his fist in the wall.

It created a giant crack that split up to the very tippy top of the cave, meeting the small hole that was the entrance. And then the whole building rumbled, and pieces of the ceiling fell. Now Ladybug and Chat Noir had to dodge falling boulders as they planned their next attack.

“Chat! We just need to run for it! He has to be distracted now!”

He nodded in response. They needed to get it so that no one could ever abuse its power again. 

Both he and Ladybug sprinted toward Hawkmoth, but Ladybug was slowed down by a rock falling in her path. Chat reached Hawkmoth first and pulled the broach off him before rubble enveloped the villain. Chat just nearly was able to dodge it.

“Chaton! Are you ok?!” 

“Yes… I-I got his…” he said as he held up the broach. 

Ladybug stowed it away in her yoyo before saying, “Help me lift this rock, we need to save him.”

And so they did, and what they found, they couldn’t comprehend. What lay before them was Gabriel Agreste, covered in wounds. Too many wounds to ever make it in time for a hospital. 

What? My F- he- he did all this? Chat’s eyes widened and he started to cry. And he couldn’t stop it. 

“Haha…”

“What?” Ladybug stared.

“HA! I-you- so called HEROES! Let an innocent die…”

“You are not innocent you- you bastard,” Chat Noir shot back. 

“No… I know my fate is hell-” Gabriel said as he coughed on his blood, “But my sweet wife, she… I could have SAVED HER!” he wailed. “I could have- I could have…”

Chat Noir and Ladybug stared at the man as he lost the last breath of his life.

Chat fell to his knees. “What- I-” My Mother was ALIVE? All this time in a fucking basement beneath me?

Ladybug didn’t respond. She was clearly in shock and wasn’t handling it well. They stared at his body for what seemed like an eternity. Ladybug closed Gabriel’s eyes and then sat down next to her partner. She put her hand on his shoulder before he snapped to her body in an embrace. They didn’t move for a long time after that.

“Chat,” Ladybug began, “Nobody can know Gabriel was Monarch. There would be a public uproar and no one would know who to trust. And that is not what Paris needs for it to heal. I-” she paused as she took a breath, “The son of that man can’t know his Father was Monarch. It would break him.” 

Chat looked up at her. It already has, M’lady. “Ok.” 

“We- we need to get rid of the evidence, Chat.”

“Ok.”

“You’ll have to cataclysm everything.”

“Ok.”

First his Father. He was dead and his eyes were closed and all he cared about was his wife who had been as good as dead. Not his son, of course. Who he had ignored, thrown away to activities and his company for all his life. Who never let him breathe. Who never let him live his life. His destruction was fast, like a fire enveloping leaves, or grass. I hate you. I hate that you died, I hate that you lived.

Second was his Mother. She looked the same, at least from what he remembered, but was clearly dead after some rubble smashed through her tubes and wires. Those were the only things keeping her alive. But she might have been dead all those years ago, and maybe his Father was just fucking crazy. She disappeared like boiling water that turned into steam; very, very, slowly. Agonizing as it was, at least he finally knew where she had been all this time. 

Third was the rubble, which was numerous and overwhelming. He had never cataclysmed so many things at once. Maybe it would spread to everything, and swallow him up. The rocks went like puddles after a rainstorm. Sucked up by the sun and quickly it looked like they had never existed.

Fourth was the bridge, which was long and rusted to his touch. Each part of it cracked under his power as he walked toward the exit, darkened and faded away, like memories in old age. Maybe one day I’ll forget too.

When he was done he took hold of Ladybug’s yoyo and she pulled him out of that place. 

“Chat, did you see Adrien on your way in?”

“No.”

“Did you see anyone else?”

“No.”

“Ok. I’m going to check the house.”

While she was gone, Chat Noir cataclysmed the portrait in the main hall. Then the painting of his Mother. Then the safe behind it. Then- something- and then- his vision blurred. The marble floors seemed too white. Why can’t I see the floor? And his heartbeat rang in his ears. And he couldn’t breathe. And he was tired. He fell to the ground and couldn’t get up. He wanted to close his eyes. Why can’t I breathe? He was panting loudly. What’s happening to me?

He sat like that for a long time. And then he blinked, and he didn’t hear a thrum in his ears anymore. And then he could stand. And then he waited for Ladybug to come back.

When she finally arrived she informed him, “Nathalie was here. I told her about Hawkmoth’s defeat, and apparently she was involved in his plans. She has agreed to keep his identity a secret, in exchange for her freedom.”

Chat Noir glared at her. “So- what, you just let her go?!”

“No- I- I took her to the hospital. She was on the verge of death. Apparently she tried to stop Gabriel, but he stopped her. Anyway regardless of her crimes, Adrien needs a Mother figure. I’m not taking that away from him.”

Since when do you give such a damn about Adrien? “Fine. Whatever,” he huffed.

“Chat- I know this is a shock. And I’m sorry,” she started to cry, “I’m really, re-ally sorry. I thought- I thought he would be some creep that nobody knew; some nobody who was already a criminal.”

But he wasn’t, was he?

“I- I looked up to that man. You must have too,” she observed from his expression, “But- we need to be strong for Paris. Just- just a little bit longer. We need to talk to the press. Together. And- give them the news.”

The lie. The fucking lie. 

“And- and then we can go home. And we can meet tomorrow. At our usual spot.”

As Chat was thinking I have no home, Ladybug might have said something else. He didn’t process it. He just agreed, and they both went outside to talk to the press.

~~~~~

“What happened in there Ladybug? Why haven’t your powers repaired everything?!” a reporter asked.

“There was no akuma, so there was no damage caused by one to repair.”

“If there was no akuma, what caused all that damage at the Agreste mansion?”

“Monarch did.”

Gabriel. 

“…and he was defeated,” she continued, “We took his butterfly miraculous, so no one will ever use it for evil ever again.”

“If you defeated him, you must know who he was, right?!”

“Unfortunately, me and Chat Noir do not know who Monarch was. Gabriel Agreste heroically distracted Monarch as the ceiling collapsed due to the villain’s own actions, and in the process- they were both killed.”

Chat Noir stilled and stared at Ladybug. When did they ever agree to call that man- that monster- a hero? 

Stay calm in front of the press, Ladybug seemed to supply as she squeezed his hand. Just a little longer. 

An out-roar reverberated throughout the crowd as they gasped. “What does that mean for the Agreste company and brand? Will Adrien Agreste become the new CEO?!”

At the mention of his name, Chat Noir looked up at the crowd frightful of what they might say about him. The son of a monster. 

“We will leave that up to the police and proper authorities.”

The press might have asked more questions after that, Chat Noir wasn’t sure. But at the end, Ladybug said, “Paris needs to heal from the damage Monarch caused. Please, reach out to your family, friends, neighbors, anyone you know. We all need to stick together in this time of healing.”

“Wait!” one reporter shouted, “Will you two still be around? Even if Monarch is gone?” 

The two superheroes looked at each other in surprise at that question. I didn’t think people liked me all that much. 

“I’m sure if Paris needs us, we’ll be there,” Ladybug paused, “I could never leave the city I love so much,” she weakly smiled, “Bug out!”

~~~~~

“Chaton? Are you ok?” Ladybug had said for the second time since they had reached the top of the Eiffel Tower. 

“Yes.”

“Ok,” she responded as she took his hand.

“I know what I said back to the reporters, but, I just want to make sure. We’ll… always stick together right? You won’t just disappear because it’s all over?”

Chat Noir looked up to her and tried to muster up a smile. He doesn’t think it worked. “Of course Ladybug. Chat Noir has always meant freedom for me… and I could never give that up. And of course I could never give up seeing you.”

She smiled back at him, seemingly relieved as his words. She sighed and looked almost content before straightening like a fishing rod. 

“What is it?”

“Adrien. I have to tell him. He- he can’t hear this from the press- or the police. Ugh! Why didn’t I go looking for him in the first place!?”

“Ladybug, calm down, it’s ok. We-” Chat Noir bit his lip, “I mean, uhm, we can search for him separately to cover more ground. He might still be at his school.” That way you can tell him your precious little lie. 

“Ok- ok you’re right.”

With that, Chat Noir took off so he could beat Ladybug. He just had to make sure he didn’t cry until after she gave him the news. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry-

~~~~~

“I’m so sorry Adrien. Me and Chat Noir tried to save him. We really tried,” Ladybug explained.

No, she lied. “I- thank y-you for telling me, Ladybug,” Adrien responded. 

“I took Nathalie to the nearest hospital around. The doctors told me if I had gotten there a second later… it wouldn’t have been good.”

Maybe it would have been better that way. Then I would be… alone.

“But, thankfully, she should pull through.”

“Ladybug?”

“Yes?”

“Is there any other information that I need to know? Anything at all?” Adrien waited, and hoped that his partner wouldn’t lie to him.

“No, that’s all,” she said as her eyes crinkled.

Of course it was too good to be true.  

~~~~~

Adrien really didn’t want to go back to the mansion. Now, there would be only a one sixteen year old boy in that house. He shivered. That place is too big. So instead he just walked around Paris for a while as tears slipped from his face until Plagg got concerned. 

“Adrien, you need to go home. You need sleep, and food, and rest.”

“That place is not my home, Plagg,” he spat.

“Look, kid, I’m sorry it ended up this way-”

“Did you know?” Adrien accused. 

“No! Of course not! I wouldn’t keep that from you!”

“Ladybug did,” Adrien shot back.

“Well- Ladybug thinks she’s protecting you! And Paris!”

“It doesn’t justify what she did,” he scoffed. 

“It doesn’t,” Plagg admits, “But it explains why she did it… you- you don’t know how much she cares about you,” he whispered. 

Adrien kept walking.

And then people started to follow him. Paparazzi, his fans, and the like. And he got sick of it immediately, and now that that man couldn’t boss him around, well…

“Leave me ALONE! Don’t you all have something better to do than follow a kid all across Paris?!”

The crowd thinned, but not by much. They still flashed their cameras at him like they had all his life. And he hated it. So he ran off until he lost them in an alley. 

“Adrien, please, go see Nino, or better yet go to Marinette! I bet she’s worried sick about you!” Plagg pleaded.

“Sure, right. Then I can lie to them all too! My Father saved Paris from Hawkmoth, he was such a good man! I- I can’t do that to them!”

“You don’t have to talk, you can just say you’re overwhelmed! They’ll understand that!”

“Plagg… I just need to be alone right now.”

“Fine.”

“Claws out!”

“Nottttt finnnneeee!” Plagg pleaded before being sucked into Chat Noir’s ring.

It was time to blow off some steam. 

Chapter Text

When Chat Noir transformed, he felt a rush of power that was fueled by his distress. Now that it was finally night, he could go parade out on the rooftops and exist in the shadows of Paris. No fans following his every step, and no reporters stalking him to snap the next big piece of information about the poor boy. The boy of a ‘hero’. A martyr, even. Hah! Little did they know, their precious hero was a sweet nothing, a lie, told for their own comfort. In reality, he was the son of no hero. Just a monster. The son of Hawkmoth. 

Whatever the public thought, it didn’t matter anymore, Chat Noir thought as he shook his head. He was in no position to tell anyone anything. The news would endanger all of his friends, and even worse, Ladybug would be furious with him, no matter how wrong she was. Chat’s head hurt, but he really didn’t care. Instead, he let himself go in the sensations of his wanderings, darting from rooftop to rooftop. He pushed off of the shingles with his baton and just let himself fall before catching himself on his own two feet. It was refreshing to listen to the wind whoosh against his ears and cloud his overpowered senses. The only source of light was the moon and he let himself be swallowed up whole by it. 

He tried not to think about anything else but that and the cool night air.

But the image of his mother’s body kept seeping into his head. 

What would she even think of me now?

So thinking of anything else didn’t really work.

He had to keep running, faster, and faster, and faster. He didn’t care about how his hair was a tangled mess and how his eyes were streaming with tears. He didn’t bother to wipe the sweat from his brow or check to see if he scraped his knee on that wonky landing. For once in his life Chat Noir was the only one that mattered and existed in his mind. He never needed to worry about photoshoots or curving to F- to his will ever again.

He was happy that that man was gone. And that killed Chat Noir inside.

Chat Noir kept leaping over Paris, trying to reach the clouds that night.

~~~~~

The next day he woke up behind some trash cans where he had apparently passed out from exhaustion. Chat Noir was still transformed, thankfully, and he felt just a twinge of guilt for using Plagg’s energy like this. But he couldn’t really think about not being Chat Noir right now. His innocent, civilian persona was so far away from him, and maybe he had been for a long, long time. 

Who had he been except his- Monarch’s whims? Whatever he did to please that man, was it a plot to get the miraculous? Was the curated, stifling lifestyle that he followed all part of a plan? Did Hawkmoth ever try to akumatize me deliberately? Do I even know what I am now without the mask? 

All questions he might never get answers to.

He cataclysmed the trash dumpsters that crowded the alley on his way out, and really he was doing Paris a favor. That stuff would have sat there for weeks before it would ever get cleaned up and really, he just sped up the process of that cleanup.

Chat was unsure of where to go or what to do. Why would Paris’s superhero be out so early today with no akuma around? Why would Adrien be wandering the streets when he should be almost anywhere else? He decided to stick with Chat, at least for a little while longer.

He thought about what Plagg had said; how he should see his friends. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea, from behind the mask. With that protection, he could safely make sure they were ok after this whole ordeal. They did deserve some comfort after all.

~~~~~

“Chat Noir! Dude! I’m glad you came over!” Nino smiled.

He warmed at the sight of his best civilian friend. Seeing him made everything in his mind lighter by comparison. 

“Do you know where Adrien is? No one has seen him since last night! And we’re all worried about him for- obvious reasons,” Nino shivered.

Of course that stuff in his mind got ten times heavier when Nino said that, but what can you do. “I don’t know where he is. Only Ladybug found him after- after everything that happened,” he responded quickly.

“But-”

“I would suggest talking to her about it,” he paused, “I don’t know anything at all,” he lied.

Nino must have noticed something in his tone, because then he asked, “Chat Noir… are you ok?”

“Uh yes? Why?”

“You look beat up… did you get any medical attention yesterday?”

While his mind frantically screamed in terror about that question, he responded, “Oh I did! I just did some backflips today… and fell by accident! Yup!”

“Really?”

“Of course!”

Nino narrowed his eyes and pursed his mouth in disbelief. 

“Honestly, I’m fine.”

He didn’t really seem convinced. 

Chat Noir sputtered, “Well I gotta go now, see you later!!!!” without a second thought, and then he left without looking back.

That didn’t really go how he had planned it to… but at least he got to see Nino and make sure he was ok. Next up was Marinette, who he hoped would be more happy to see him and not really interested in talking about Adrien. Ugh. Maybe that was some wishful thinking on his part, as they were fucking dating. 

When he ended up on her balcony he knocked and saw that she was home to his relief. She let him into her room and sat down at her rolling chair. She had bags under her eyes and seemed very tired.

“Chat Noir? What are you doing here?” Marinette asked.

“I just wanted to check up on you, make sure you are ok after yesterday.”

“W-what? Why wouldn’t I be ok? I’m perfectly fineee,” she sputtered.

“Oh… well I figured- maybe the death of your idol dying a tragically heroic death-”

“That’s putting it lightly,” she deadpanned.

“…might come as quite a shock to you,” he explained. 

“Ah, well- yes, that is quite a shock,” she responded lightly, “But I’m more worried about his son, Adrien. Have you seen him by any chance?”

“No, I haven’t.” He didn’t want to think about him at all, really.  

“Are- are you sure?” she said as she took a step closer to him, “Even if you caught a glimpse of him-”

“Mari, I’m sure. Ladybug found him yesterday. Talk to her,” he huffed. 

“I did, and she hasn’t seen him today either! And he won’t answer my texts!” Marinette moaned.

Once I feed Plagg I should probably check my phone. 

“Please just keep your eye out for him,” she pleaded. “I love him, and I can’t loose him. I know he’s in pain, and suffering. And who knows where he even went last night to sleep?! He’s living in a whole new world now without his father, and he doesn’t have any support! And he’s missing Chat! Nobody has seen him since yesterday afternoon!” she cried. 

For a moment Marinette looked up at him with her beautiful blue eyes that were tainted with pain and tears. He wanted to hold her, and comfort her. Tell Marinette her boyfriend was perfectly safe, and that there was no need to worry. But instead, all he said was,“Ok.”

“Thank you Chat Noir,” she said as her eyes creased. 

For a moment, he thought about telling her the truth. Maybe if she knew who Hawkmoth really is, she would understand why Adrien is missing. She would understand his pain. But Marinette knew Alya, and if she slipped that information all over her blog, the news would be all over Paris, then France, and then the whole world in a matter of minutes. And Chat couldn’t deal with that kind of disaster. So he swallowed the pain in his throat, and walked over to Marinette’s window.

Then Chat bid her farewell, and left. Marinette had more important things to do than keep him company after all, and he had another stop to make. I hope she gets some rest.

The next best thing would be to visit Nathalie, who should be unconscious in the hospital right now. When he arrived a simple, “Hero business,” did the trick for the nurse to let him in. He had some ‘interviewing’ to do.

From what Ladybug had said, he knew that Nathalie worked with Hawkmoth. She had used the Peacock miraculous for evil, and Chat Noir was furious at her for her actions. What could have possessed her to aid that man, and support his goals? It didn’t matter that she eventually tried to stop Hawkmoth, she was still responsible. And- and she knew about his mom-

But all that anger melted away when he saw her.

Nathalie looked white as a ghost, thin, and had dark circles under her eyes. Her arms were bruised beyond recognition and her hair had turned white. He remembered how absent she had been for the past few weeks, but he had no idea she had been in this much pain. How did that even happen? He had no idea Hawkmoth had hurt her that much. 

He approached her bed and grasped her hand. It was completely limp.

“Nathalie…” he wept, “Why didn’t you tell me? I don’t understand… if you had given me a hint, or something… I could have saved you. All you had to do was come to my room…”

It was only at that moment he really looked up to her face. She was fighting for her life- that was obvious to him.

“Why didn’t I notice? I should have known somehow. There must have been some sign that I missed… and you suffered all the more for it. I- I should have wondered why you were gone.” he scoffed, “Some hero I am.” 

He wandered for a moment if she had any answers. Surely Hawkmoth would have told her why he did… everything. But she didn’t open her eyes, no matter how much Chat Noir wanted her to. No, instead she slept, while he had to deal with the consequences awake, and no answers to hear.

Chat Noir stole some gauze on his way out.

~~~~~

When he detransformed hidden far away from the streets, a jolt of pain surged through him. The suit had held his skin together, but now it was coming undone. 

“Kid! You’re bleeding! You need to go to a hospital! Or-or a friend’s place!” Plagg had begged.

“Plagg, I am not in the mood to argue,” he hissed back. 

“Adrien I am not playing around! I will get Ladybug if I have to.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Adrien seethed.

“I would, and I will. You don’t deserve this,” Plagg said before flying off.

He felt a wave of panic wash over him. Ladybug couldn’t see him in this state! Much less know his identity as the son of Hawkmoth. She would never trust him again! She might suspect he hid Hawkmoth’s identity, or that he was just plain stupid! She might make him give up being Chat Noir. Make the case that he wasn’t worthy of being Chat Noir. And he- he just wasn’t ready to face that. So he took the ring off and put it in his pocket, just for now, so Plagg couldn’t do anything.

He started to wrap his parted skin after that. The work was tedious, because every movement added more anguish. And it’s not like he had any medicine to dull the pain a little. Why didn’t he think of that before? Ugh. Just another example of how stupid he could be. Forgetting meds when you dress wounds. Not seeing two villains in your own house for years- he sighed. Don’t think about that right now. 

Wounds were tough to dress when you do it yourself.

He brought out his phone to see what Marinette had texted him, but it was out of battery. He would have to get a charger, somewhere. 

Then he remembered that Ladybug had asked to meet him tonight, and the problem of his dead phone was replaced by the very real possibility that Ladybug would take him to the hospital unless he made himself look presentable. 

~~~~~

“Chaton! It’s so good to see you!” Ladybug smiled. 

“You as well,” he nodded.

“I have a huge problem, and I need your help.”

Chat’s curiosity peaked as he asked, “With what?”

Did someone steal a miraculous? Is there a new villain that they needed to defeat? Chat Noir could feel his anxiety skyrocket by the millisecond. Did someone discover his identity yesterday in the alley? Was he not as careful as he thought? What if-

“I can’t find Adrien,” Ladybug admitted, cutting through his thoughts.

Chat’s thoughts slammed into a wall. “W-what?”

“I can’t find him. He’s been missing ever since yesterday. None of his friends or family have seen him, and I’ve talked to all of them.”

Chat glared at her, “Does he really have any family anyway?”

Ladybug scolded, “Chat Noir! Why would you say that! Of course he has family!” 

“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t… know,” he excused lamely.

“Well,” she continued, “We need to find him so he can-well-”

“Manage his estate and get on with his life?” Chat supplied.

“I was going to say get help, and support,” Ladybug scoffed. 

“Didn’t you find him yesterday?”

“Yes, but- well… then I let him go. I thought he would go home,” she sighed.

“Like that place would be home for him,” Chat scowled, “It’s just a big white box that now has a giant hole in it.”

At that comment Ladybug fumed, “Chat! I don’t know what has gotten into you but- ugh- cut it out! Adrien is suffering alone- and I’m sure he needs help! That house is the only home he has ever known, so I would assume it would be his home! No matter how dilapidated it seems at the moment!” 

Breathe. Don’t blow up. Just calm her down, and make her see the truth. 

“LB,” he said as he put his hand on her shoulder, “I’m sorry. I’m just saying that he- he might not want to go back. One person for that whole mansion? It’s- it’s really not healthy.”

“Neither is disappearing from it altogether!” she argued, “He needs to be with people right now. He needs support and something that equates to a routine! I’m sure he is heartbroken right now! He can’t deal with this on his own!”

Chat Noir stared at her. People was the last thing he needed right now. It would only make everything worse. “Ladybug, I’m sure he doesn’t want to be around people if he is already hiding. I’m sure he’s loaded and is doing just fine.” 

“Chat, you don’t know him like I do. He doesn’t have access to any of his estate-”

Shit- she had caught him in his lie.

“-Because his father didn’t even allow him even a bank account to control.”

“Well, my point about him wanting to be alone still stands.”

“Yeah, and you’re still wrong, Chat!” 

He sighed. He had tried- really tried to get her to see his point of view. But it was impossible. She wouldn’t listen to him at all. Not as long as Ladybug thought she was doing the right thing.

“Look- Chaton… I’m sure you have your reservations about him. He is the son of Monarch-”

Chat Noir froze.

“-But I have it on good authority that he had no idea. Adrien is a good person who was simply caught in the crossfire.”

“And whose authority is that, exactly?” Chat snapped.

“His girlfriend,” she smiled.

Chat felt his eyes soften at the thought of that. “Fine. I’ll believe you… for now. And… I guess I’ll look around for him.”

“Thank you Chat. We can start tomorrow.”

An easy pause began between the two. Both superheroes watched the lit sky of Paris, trying to grasp a piece of the calm atmosphere for themselves. Ladybug leaned on Chat Noir for support after a while, and he enjoyed the contact. 

“Chat?”

“Yes LB?”

“I was wondering,” she said as she lifted her head away from his shoulder, “What if… we revealed our identities?”

Chat’s eyes widened.

“I- I know what you’re thinking!” she explained, “That’s crazy! We shouldn’t do that- it’s too soon. But,” she bit her lip, “There’s no Monarch anymore.”

There’s no Monarch anymore.

“So we wouldn’t be in danger. And- well… it’s been so long since we started this whole thing. I mean- why not? Don’t we deserve to know ourselves? Our true selves? I’d… I’d love to know who my best friend is so I can hang out with him more often,” she explained.

“I… I can’t do that. I’m sorry. You already know my true self. It’s just me, right here. And I thought I knew yours too.”

Ladybug’s expression condensed, “So- so after all this time… you don’t want to know?”

“I want to know who you are,” Chat admitted, “But… I’m better like this. I’m better with the mask on.”

“Chat… I- I didn’t know you felt that way,” she frowned. 

“Well- I do! So leave it alone!”

“Ok! I’m sorry!” she faltered, “I’ll respect your wishes of course. You’ve always done the same with mine,” she admitted.

Chat felt guilt claw its way up his back. “I’m sorry. Maybe, maybe someday we can reveal our identities,” he shivered. “I’ve just had a tough few days.”

“We both have, kitty. I know it’s hard, but we can overcome this,” she paused and held his hand, “I believe in us.”

“Yeah… me too,” he murmured.

Chapter Text

“Adrien, you’ve got to wake up.”

“I know Mom… give me five more minutes…”

“Adrien,” she laughed, “You already asked for five. It’s time for breakfast.”

“Ughhh, alright,” he groaned, before sitting up.

“I’ll be waiting downstairs dear,” she smiled.

He did as his mother had asked, after all, today was going to be a good one. A temporary break from his homeschooling and all of the activities he had. She had promised to go to the zoo with him. They’d look at all the animals together and feed the giraffes! He decided on wearing a lion shirt. That seemed like the right thing to wear for today.

He ran down the stairs, smiling till his face hurt. 

“Mom! Look at my shirt!”

“It looks amazing dear! Perfect choice for today. I think we may even see some cubs today.”

“Really?” his eyes widened.

“Really!” she answered back. “I heard they just got some new ones shipped in. Now go wash your hands, and then we’ll eat.”

“Ok!” he beamed.

He hopped and skipped down the hallway in high spirits before turning the corner to the bathroom. He became face to face with a tall, towering man. His father.

“Adrien.”

“Father?”

“That shirt is ridiculous. What did I tell you about wearing those animal printed clothes?”

“That you don’t like them,” he whispered.

“Speak up Adrien.”

“You don’t like them,” he repeated.

“Adrien. You are too old for this nonsense. You know as well as I that it’s not about taste. It’s about how you present yourself. And this,” he sneered, “Is not the right way to do it.”

“Y-yes Father.”

“Do not mumble,” his Father commanded.

“Yes Father,” he said as he walked toward his room, toward safety. 

“Oh, and Adrien?”

“Yes?”

“Next time, keep your mother alive,” he barked.

He stilled, “What?”

“Look for yourself, boy.”

As Adrien turned around, Monarch now smirked at him, and now they were both in that underground cave beneath the mansion. His father dared him to see- to look at that damned machine, and view his mother inside. Pale and sickly, she looked dead already.

“Don’t you understand? This- her death, it’s all your fault! You’re selfish, choosing power and prestige over her!” 

“I- I never meant to- Father-” he cried.

“Your apologies mean nothing to me! I will do what I must. And I’ll save her myself,” Monarch sneered.

“Plagg, claws out!”

Nothing happened. Instead of being enveloped with magic and a leather suit, he remained useless. 

Monarch cackled, “You really thought I’d let you transform? You really are a fool!” Monarch held up the ring, his precious ring, which now rested on his Father’s finger. “Now, all that’s left for me to do is kill Ladybug. And then- I’ll remake the world to my whim!”

“No. You can’t!” he pleaded. 

But it didn’t matter how much he cried, and begged, and screamed. Monarch kept laughing, and kept holding the ring just out of his reach. And now all was lost, all because of Adrien.

~~~~~

He shot up, gasping for air while tears streamed down his face. 

It was just a dream. Only- only a dream. 

He trailed his hands up and down the sides of his arms, grounding himself in the moment of right now. He was in the old attic by the train station. He could see the sun through the boards in the ceiling. The fabric he used as a blanket was smooth and thin, and his favorite shade of red.

Slowly his breathing returned back to normal, and he noticed his ring was beeping. 

He groaned, guessing it couldn’t be later than 8:30 in the morning. He realized cold wood floors in damp attics don’t really have the same appeal as the vast king bed in the mansion. What was even worse was the fact that Plagg had tried again last night to warn Ladybug about what he was up to. And his kwami’s disapproving stare shook him to his core.   

A feeling bubbled within him that had never, ever, been felt before. Dread, about putting his ring on, and seeing Plagg again. He had already hurt his best friend, his closest confidant so much. Chat did not want to hurt Plagg even more than he already had. 

But I can’t risk Ladybug knowing who I am, his mind screamed. 

Chat closed his eyes, and put on his ring. The moment Chat felt Plagg appear he burst, “Claws Out!” Even before his kwami could get a word in, he had been sucked into the ring. Chat opened his eyes and felt himself being wrapped in the warm leather suit he treasured.

He stared at the floor, wondering if Plagg would ever get past this. Would he ever be his friend again? Would Plagg ever forgive me for this? 

His vibrating baton cut through Chat’s thoughts. Ladybug wanted to meet up. 

~~~~~

What proceeded was a giant search for Adrien. Ladybug vowed to look through every nook and cranny before ever even thinking about giving up like he hoped she would. It wasn’t like he didn’t appreciate this time with her- but she kept going on and on about saving his citizen-counterpart. Who he had never felt more disconnected from. 

For what felt like the umpteenth time, Ladybug theorized what the next possible hiding place could be. Where he would be, all alone and scared, waiting for her to save him. It irked Chat Noir to no end; Ladybug acting as if he was nothing but a fragile baby bird. And after every rant she had asked for his opinions, his thoughts, about where poor Adrien could possibly be.

So he lied and gave possible spots about Adrien’s location. Maybe he was by the bridge near the river? Maybe he was hiding behind the park? In an alley somewhere? What else could he realistically do besides lead Ladybug down a trail of theorization and doubt anyway? Chat Noir knew the truth. The person she was looking for was long gone, never to be seen again.  

“I’m going to find him. Chat will help me find him. I know we will find him. We have to. He’s so important…” she murmured. 

It was a good thing his suit gave him the power of superhuman hearing. 

Chat Noir bit the inside of his cheek to stop whatever expression would have been his first reaction. How was he ever going to get her off his back? It was honestly kind of ironic. Before, Chat had wanted nothing more than to be with Ladybug, at least before Adrien had started to date Marinette. But Ladybug didn’t give him the time of day. She shot down every gesture, every declaration, every push for a deeper friendship. But now, she seemed more interested in Adrien, his alter ego, more than ever before. That was all Ladybug had talked about since the battle. And she spent more time with him, with Chat Noir, than ever before. 

Why does she care so much? 

Chat’s mind was going into overdrive trying to piece the puzzle together. The facts were all here, it was just a matter of putting them all in place. 

“Ladybug?”

“Yeah Chat?” 

“Maybe we should take a break, just for a little bit!”

She sighed and nodded before a grumble escaped from her stomach. “Wanna get something to eat?”

It was only then that Chat Noir realized he had not known when he had last ate. He swore it must have been yesterday- there had been some mints at the hospital. But then he was too distracted to actually grab the mints. So that took him to the day before. Yes! That must have been it! He had had lunch at school two days ago! 

Crap. Two days ago felt like a thousand years in the past, now. And his stomach lurched at that thought. “I think that would be a great idea.” 

They decided on an Italian joint, mostly because of Chat’s insistence that pasta was the best food on the planet Earth. But secretly, he hadn’t had pasta in years. In fact, his mouth was salivating waterfalls at the mere suggestion of food packed with carbs- and sweet sweet flavor. 

Distantly, he could hear a voice in the back of his head scolding him for what they had decided on. You need to keep that slim figure in check for work. Modeling is serious. You can’t just snack all day. Millions of people see you everyday. I have a reputation to uphold.

Suddenly pasta didn’t sound so appealing to him.

“Chat! Chat Noir!”

“What? What’s wrong?” he shook his head, trying to shake his thoughts away. Suddenly his body felt all too removed from himself.  

“You spaced out. I was just saying the closest place is a mile away-”

“Oh! Yeah! Right- that’s great!” Chat said as he rubbed the back of his head. 

A silence echoed between them as Ladybug studied his expression. He tried to keep calm, tried not to think about the food, tried not to think about his disappointed-

“Chat. What’s wrong? You can talk to me.”

“Let’s go eat LB,” he said, trying to fight the lightheadedness bleeding into his head. 

Ladybug didn’t move. Her face only grew more concerned. 

He imitated the shape of an upwards lemon peel with his mouth. 

“Chat, tell me what’s going on. Please. I only want to help.”

Must’ve been a sour lemon then, Chat mused.

Obviously he would have to give up something, because Ladybug didn’t seem to be budging at all. And he didn’t want to have to think about this any longer. Chat squeezed his eyes tight, wrapping his mind around what he should reveal to her.

“Fine. I’ve been having a hard time,” he sucked in a breath, “the battle just… got to me I guess. When I woke up, I was so scared that you- you-”

She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he crumbled in her arms. He sobbed, because he had to let something out. Like a balloon popping, he didn’t have control over the tears that came from four simple little sentences. And he was so tired.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done without you, LB.”

“Me neither Chat. I would’ve checked on you, or brought you to safety if I hadn’t been occupied fighting him.”

“I was weak. I could’ve gotten you killed.”

“But that didn’t happen,” she smiled. “You woke up, and you won with me. And we are here now.”

“Yeah… that’s true,” he sniffed. I am here now, in this hellish world that was created from my revelation. And his actions. He turned away from her and asked which direction the restaurant was. He just wanted this to be over.

Thank God she let his breakdown go and told him it was west. 

Because of the recently defeated supervillain fresh in everyone’s mind, the restaurant had jumped at the chance to give them a meal for free. 

“Sir, it’s really not a problem, I have money to spend here.”

“Nonsense! You two saved Paris time and time again! I’m so happy to have you here and thank you for all of your hard work.”

Ladybug paused, looking frazzled. It seemed to Chat Noir at least that she wasn’t used to free stuff tossed around everywhere she walked. He supposed it must have been exciting- even a novelty for her. 

“LB,” he whispered, “Just let him help us. You won’t be able to convince him otherwise.”

Ladybug nodded and said, “Lead the way.”

They were both escorted at a booth in the left corner of the restaurant. The host had been gracious enough to give them some privacy, instead of showing them off to his clientele. And Chat Noir was thankful for that, on account of his burning stomach and throbbing head. After the server asked for their orders, Ladybug began yet another dialogue about Adrien’s mysterious whereabouts. 

“So… do you have any ideas about where he could be?” 

“I am litter-ily out of ideas Bugaboo,” he joked.

“Really? Cat puns?”

“At a time like this? Of course,” his eyes creased, “Somebody needs to lighten the mood.” If only for one of us. 

“Thanks Chat,” she grinned before continuing, “I don’t know where he could’ve gone.” 

“Well,” he gulped, “We have to run into a lead at some point.”

“Yeah, I agree. But…”

“But what?”

“I know the police are searching too… but we need more help.”

“Help?” Chat’s heart rate jumped, and he could feel himself start to sweat. If they got help, it would be way harder to subtly suggest Adrien had disappeared for good. Convincing Ladybug was going to be a difficult task, he knew that. But convincing multiple people at once? That might be downright impossible. 

“We need people we can trust, who can keep up with us, and can cover Paris way quicker than the two of us can alone.”

He said nothing in response. He knew what she was going to say. And if he was right, then he was fucked over even more than he already was.

“We need Carapace and Rena Rouge.” 

Fuck. Convincing Nino and Alya that Adrien is gone of his own free will would be hopeless! “Uhhh… are you sure we should involve them in this?”

“Yes? I trust them the most… besides you of course,” she added quickly.  

That statement made his face burn with jealousy. It reminded him of how Ladybug had used her Guardian status when she had obtained it from Master Fu. She gave out miraculous left and right like they were free candy, and worst of all, these new holders started to replace him in the process. Before they were all stolen, of course. But she had learned her lesson after all; she vowed to never let the miraculous be handed out like that again. It was too dangerous. But now, it seemed like those promises were nothing but sweet nothings, said to calm him down. After all, she had never told him who Rena and Carapace were. He had found out from Nino. Who spilled it to him in a fit of anger.

That was who Ladybug trusted for the search for Adrien? 

Chat Noir took a deep breath before saying his piece. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t trust them.”

“What? How could you not trust them? They’ve been through so much with us!”

“No Ladybug. They’ve been through so much with you. You chose them, got to know them, fought with them, and trust them. I don’t have that honor,” he sneered. 

“Look,” she sighed, “I’m sorry you weren’t involved. Master Fu gave me the Miracle Box. He gave me the responsibility. If he had given it to you instead, I would have gladly let you pick.”

“This isn’t about who got the Miracle Box. I could care less about you picking the miraculous holders.”

“Then what is this really about?”

The server, who had arrived at the most inconvenient time possible, placed their food down and patiently waited for their attention. 

Both Ladybug and Chat Noir gave the server a most ungrateful, “What?” in his direction. 

“I was just wondering,” he gulped, “If I could get a picture?”

“Yeah yeah sure,” Chat rolled his eyes and leaned in. 

“Thanks! You guys are the best!” the server said before sprinting off.

“Ok, what has your tail in a twist?” Ladybug prompted.

“You- I can’t believe you don’t get it.”

“Well, I won’t get it until you tell me Chat!”

“Fine! I felt left in the dark, all on my own, because you decided all those new superheroes were all you needed! You didn’t need… me. At all. I know my place. I know I’m just your sidekick.”

Ladybug gasped, “No Chaton-”

“Just listen to me LB. Let me say what I need to.”

She nodded.

“I can’t purify akumas. I was, and I still am… expendable. And so anyone could fill my spot. I was hurt by that.”

“Chat- I’m so sorry. I was just trying to do what I thought would be best. The best holder for the best scenario. I didn’t think it would hurt you. I only thought-”

“About taking him down?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I was hurt by what you did, but I know it was in the past. I know you learned from your mistakes.”

“Big time,” she chuckled. “I know now, more than ever, that we are the best duo in any situation. We’re stronger together Chat,” she smiled. 

“Yeah Ladybug, we are,” he smiled.

“But?” she offered.

“But… I haven’t worked with Rena or Carapace like you have. And that, I will admit, made me a little jealous. More importantly, I don’t know if they can keep it on the down low. If the public knows even more superheroes are out looking for him, what if the whole thing blows up in our faces?” Time to lay down the final nail in the coffin. “What if all the press coverage makes him hide even more?”

Ladybug looked like she was actually considering this, which made Chat Noir happy. “That is a good point. But Paris is big. Really, really big. And we need help. But maybe we can tell them how important it is to be undercover about this. ”

Obviously this was a lost cause. “Fine.”

He didn’t have anything more to say, and so he didn’t. Chat ate his food and savored it, because he didn’t know the next time he’d have a meal this good. 

Ladybug must’ve taken notice of his silence, because she had a frown on her face.

“How about this. I’ll introduce you to them. You can give them their miraculous. You can see their civilian selves, if that helps.”

While he already knew who they were, the idea of Ladybug letting him see them outside of the costume was intriguing. Maybe she did trust him a little more than he thought. “Alright. I’m in.” Someone has to be there to show them the truth. And it has to be me.

~~~~~

They both went to Alya’s first. It was nice to see her because he hadn’t since, well. Important events. They both snuck in through her balcony, and found that Alya was furiously typing on some forum where about twenty users were currently discussing how “maybe the son of a supervillain does deserve to suffer because of the sins of his father. He’s rich, he can take it right?”

She seemed very preoccupied in getting the moderators to ban them.

Ladybug fake coughed to get Alya’s attention, to which she turned around in her swivel chair, gasped like she had just witnessed herself winning the lottery, and then ran to her door. 

Ladybug then started to walk toward her, before being shushed by Alya, who then shut her door. Then she squealed. A lot. 

Chat groaned and thought he should have been more prepared for an assault on his super-enhanced ears. 

“Sorry I shushed you! My whole family is in the other room, and I really don’t want them to overcrowd you two. But… I can’t believe you’re both here!”

“I-”

“Can I interview you two? Nobody has gotten the inside scoop yet you know!”

“Well, Alya-”

“Oh! Or is it something else?”

“We need-”

“Oooooh what is it?! This is so exciting!”

“Alya!” Chat started, “If you let LB speak, then she can tell you,” he shot.

“Right. Sorry Ladybug,” she blushed.

“It’s alright Alya. I understand. We need you to help us with a big task. It’s really important, but if you can’t commit I’ll understand. I have a feeling this will take up a lot of our time.”

“You can always count on me Ladybug!”

“Ok,” she breathed, “We need your help finding Adrien. Me and Chat have tried, but we need more help from someone close to him.” 

Alya’s mouth dropped. “You mean they have no idea where he is? I thought- well- maybe that he went to be with his cousin and got caught up. I thought- maybe he just didn’t have time to text me, or Nino. Oh God,” she realized, “Marinette is going to be horrified.”

Chat Noir stiffened at the mention of his, well, girlfriend, and a stab of guilt pierced through him. Ladybug seemed to have the same reaction. 

“Don’t worry,” Ladybug said, “We’ll talk to Marinette and explain everything. I’ll tell her we’ll find him.”

“Ok. Ok. I seriously thought that he was just safe with his Aunt and cousin,” she muttered, “And now everything Nino has been saying… it’s all true…”

“Alya. Nino will be fine. Marinette will be fine. They will heal,” Chat said.

“Right. Of course. How can I help?”

“I need you to take the Miraculous of the Fox, and become Rena Rouge,” she said as gave the necklace to Alya.

“I never thought I’d see you again Trixx,” Alya smiled.

“Me neither, but I’m glad we can work together again,” the Kwami responded.

“Trixx, let’s pounce!”

~~~~~

Next was Nino’s place, where he seemed to be watching a movie with his family.

“Can’t we just get his attention somehow?” Rena suggested.

“No. We can’t let anyone know he has a miraculous again,” Ladybug said.

“It’s too dangerous, even with no supervillain running around,” Chat added.

“But with no supervillain how is it dangerous?”

“Because a copycat could get ideas. And I’m not about to let that happen,” Ladybug said.

“Can you imagine? Another supervillain after Monarch? Paris would go crazy!”

Chat rubbed his eyes and sighed. This would be a long two hours staring at Nino.

When he finally went to his room after, that’s when the superhero trio jumped him.

“Hey guys! What’s up?”

“Hi Nino,” Ladybug started, “We need your help.”

“Really? I thought with everything that happened, it was just going to be you and Chat Noir again.”

“Well, me and Chat agreed that this is an extenuating circumstance.”

“This is about Adrien, isn’t it?”

Ladybug, Rena, and Chat all nodded.

“I knew it!” Nino gasped, “I knew he would tell us if he moved away! I knew it!”

“Yeah, well nobody knows where he is,” Rena Rouge said.

“So we need to find him, and fast.”

“Ladybug, I’ll help you find him. He’s my best friend. I’m not letting him go without a fight.” 

“Good. Then will you take the Miraculous of the Turtle, and once again become Carapace?”

“You know it!”

Wayzz popped out of the miraculous and greeted Nino. “It’s good to see you again Nino.”

“Same! I’m ready to find Adrien with you. Wayzz, shell on!”

Chapter Text

“Where’s the best place to start?” Rena Rouge asked. 

“I’m not sure. Honestly, me and Chat Noir have looked almost everywhere we could think of. We checked his house, his school, and everywhere within a three-mile radius.”

“I feel so bad for him. Losing his father, almost losing Nathalie, and Monarch being the cause of all of it… it must be a lot to take in,” Carapace sympathized. 

Because Monarch- he solely was the cause of this. His father, who had always been too difficult to please, who had always had no time for him, who had never ever once showed him any kindness, he was supposedly a goddam hero! Nobody would know that truly, Gabriel was evil. Selfish. Uncaring until the end. 

"At least Mr. Agreste died a hero. He'll always be remembered and celebrated for that. When we do find Adrien, that might be a huge comfort for him." 

Ladybug and Chat Noir locked eyes. 

"LB? Can I talk to you alone for a sec?"

"Of course Chat," she smiled slightly.

They both walked over to Nino's balcony so as not to be heard. 

"We need to tell them who Monarch really is," Chat Noir seethed.

"No. We can't," Ladybug argued, "They'll want to tell Adrien, I know it." 

"Then let them tell him! They deserve to know just as much as he does."

"We can't risk that. I don't know if Adrien can take knowing what his father became. He shouldn't have to face it, after everything he's been through."

After that comment, he was speechless; his mind left blank. He didn't deserve to know because- because it would hurt him too much. He shouldn't know the truth, because it would just be too upsetting for him.    

"Right," he said, before walking back to Rena and Carapace.

“I think we really need to consider where he might want to go. I remember going through some footage paparazzi got of him when a few days ago. It wasn’t pretty,” Rena said as she took out her phone and showed them what he, Chat Noir, had already lived through. How he had created a PR disaster.

Chat Noir looked away. What would Mom think of him now?

"That's... awful," Ladybug sobered. 

“Oh my god,” Carapace said, “That’s- that’s terrible. How could they harass him like that? After everything he’s been through!”

"I couldn't believe it either. I mean, his father just died. How could they push that aside and just question and berate him?" Rena said.

"Adrien doesn't deserve this. He deserves none of this crap," Carapace agreed.

How had he not noticed before, how they practically babied him and treated him like glass! Like he was ten years old, with no idea how to protect himself, he scoffed in his mind. They knew nothing about that life, and yet they felt no shame in feeling so worried about him.

"It's no wonder why no one has found him," Rena sighed, "After that whole thing."

Yes, because paparazzi is something foreign to him. He seethed internally while clenching his fists. Something he can't handle. Some fucking news anchors, which he dealt with in both of his lives, are just too much for poor Chat Noir! Instead of, say, the complete reality breaking notion of Hawkmoth being his own f-

“Chat…” Ladybug looked his way, “How could I have been so stupid as to leave him alone? They probably drove him to hide in the first place!”

“LB, you couldn’t have possibly known that he would be followed like that. It’s not like he’s five,” he scoffed, “He’s sixteen years old! He could have gone to the hospital to be with Nathalie, or gone the police, or even take a plane to be with his Aunt! But he didn’t, because he knew what he wanted. He wants to be alone.”

A silence followed after his rant. Nobody seemed to know what to say. After all, why would he want to be alone? His only parent had just died. Shouldn’t he be begging for help from his friends? 

Chat Noir realized that his motives couldn't make sense to his civilian friends, because they didn't know the truth of what went on behind the scenes. He had never alluded how much his father controlled his life. Never told them how he hated all of his supposed hobbies. Never told them he would’ve been forced to inherit his father’s fashion empire. Never told them how his father dictated how much he ate, what he wore, what he said and did. 

“But he shouldn’t have to be,” Carapace scowled, “Why didn’t he just call me, or Alya, or Marinette? Wait-”

“Marinette! That’s it!” Rena said, “She might know where he went! I mean, she is his girlfriend! Why wouldn’t he tell her where he was going?”

“If he doesn’t want to be found, that includes not telling her too,” Chat ground out. I do not want to have to convince her too. I don’t want to hurt her anymore than I already have. 

“We have to try!” Carapace argued, “Ladybug, we have to recruit her. She has to help us!”

Ladybug’s mouth formed a thin line, looking deep in thought. She, like Chat, didn’t seem to like the idea. But why? 

“I already checked with her. I have sort of... a friendship with Marinette. She told me everything yesterday. She hasn’t gotten any texts or calls from him." Ladybug paused for a while, looking like she wanted to say more. But shook her head and decided against it.

"She's so torn up about the whole thing though. I could tell... Marinette is sick with worry. I think that would do more damage than help for us, because she would be so distracted."

Well, that made him feel guilty. On one side, he was glad there would be no more additions to the team. There would be no more people to convince, not while Ladybug had anything to say about it apparently. 

But at the same time... maybe he should check his phone. Just in case Mari needs help.

Carapace looked ready to argue back, and it made Chat Noir groan internally. Just let it go, please.

"I'm sure if she knew that she could help us-"

"It's not a matter of helping. She's not mentally up to it," Ladybug stated, completely serious.

Ok. Now he was really worried about her. 

"And before you ask Carapace,” she started, looking in his direction, “I can’t give her a Miraculous. She was once Multimouse, and her identity was exposed. I’m not risking any more Miraculous being lost. Not after we just got them all back.”

“But Rena’s identity was exposed once too! We found a work around for that!” Carapace argued.

“Ladybug, I really think that this would help us,” Rena said, “I can always give her a disguise, just like what we did for me!”

"And she doesn't have to be out in the open!" Carapace added, "She can help us quietly."

Chat ground his teeth together, trying not to shoot their idea down. 

Ladybug sighed and looked to be mulling it over, much to her displeasure. 

Just let LB handle it. She doesn't like this any more than I do by the looks of things.

A little nugget formed at the back of his brain at this realization. As much as this was in his own favor, why did Ladybug not want Marinette in the picture? She had never talked bad about Mari before, even when she had helped in Ladybug's place with an akuma. 

“We can check in on her; see if she gets any messages from Adrien, but that’s it. I’m not giving her a Miraculous.”

“But it makes no sense for us not to!” Carapace insisted.

This arguing had to stop, now, or he was going to develop a killer headache from all of this fighting.

“Ladybug made her decision. It’s final. Marinette is not going to be involved,” Chat Noir declared. 

With Ladybug and Chat Noir on the same side, the other two superheroes in the room didn't like the idea of challenging them. 

"Fine," Carapace sighed with annoyance while sharing a look with Rena Rouge. 

"We need to fan out and find clues about Adrien's whereabouts stat," Rena suggested.

"Great idea! How about we go in pairs. Me and Chat Noir can go on the north side of town, and you two can take the south," Ladybug said.

"Sounds good with me," Carapace agreed.

"In case anything happens just make sure to send an alert. We can meet at the Eifel Tower at five o'clock tomorrow."

Chat Noir nodded to it all in resigned agreement.

~~~~~

A few hours had passed by Ladybug's side, and most of it had been going well. Besides of course what they were looking for, she was a stellar partner who brightened his day with her smile and quips. He had almost forgotten that, after everything he had come to know. 

"Chaton?"

"What's up LB?"

"You don't look so good... are you ok?"

"Yeah... I was just thinking."

Ladybug caught his eye with a smirk on her face. It felt weirdly nostalgic, because this exact scenario had happened many times before. Chat Noir couldn't count how many times he had come to a patrol sunny-eyed and smiley only for Ladybug to figure him out. A photoshoot had taken way too long, or he wasn't allowed to go to some party. Or his grades weren't high enough for his father's impossibly high standards. Through it all, Ladybug had picked out his emotion out from the mask every single time. 

That was something no person in his civilian life could ever do.

And although he couldn't update her with the specifics, he told her what he could. And she had always tried her best to console him.

"I'm just concerned. You said Marinette was worried."

"Yes..." she admitted, "I mean, how could she not? Her boyfriend is missing."

"I- I guess," he paused, "I just hoped that maybe she would be ok without him. Just in case we don't find him."

Ladybug gave him a strange look. "Adrien is an important part of her life! And for the record, we will find him Chat Noir." 

"Of course!" he backtracked, "I just meant that... he's a model. Just a pretty face. I would think that Marinette would be able to snag anyone like that. He couldn't have been very unique."

"How could you say that? I've met Adrien before you know. I've had to save him from a few akumas every now and then. And he is the most kind, smart, and generous person I know! He is so much more than 'just a model!'"

I've said too much.

"I can't believe you would think that too," Ladybug scoffed, "The public always gets this wrong about him. They think that Adrien is just a pretty face. Someone who can be used and molded for the Agreste Brand."

Chat Noir shivered at the mention of that.

"But he's so much more than anyone knows him to be. He has so much more potential than all those activities he was forced to do," Ladybug said as she looked toward him, "He has a future, and I won't give up on him." 

LB, he thought sadly, you have to give up on him. He won't be back.

Before long it had gotten too dark to keep looking, so Ladybug gave him a farewell before using her yo-yo to speed off into the night.

~~~~~

That’s it, he decided. I need to charge my phone pronto. Really, he should have done it as soon as he detransformed, after the battle...

But never mind that! Obviously he needed to check in; see what Marinette had texted him, and then comfort her as Chat Noir. While being completely not suspicious. He could pull it off, after all, he hid his identity from his family, while they had been actively looking for him... for four years...

Maybe they really didn't know him at all either...

OK. Stay on topic. It doesn't matter at all, really. He's done with that. All it will take is just one phone charge, and then he can be done with that part of him forever! He can be truly dead. All he had do to was figure out how to get a charger. Besides the obvious option.

"Just go to your house!" Chat Noir could practically hear Plagg scream at him through his ring. Was that even possible for a Kwami to do while their holder was transformed? If it was that could become a real problem. 

The house would never work anyway. Everyday when Ladybug took her rounds, she always said it was swarming with reporters. Now, after the whole world knows about the death of Hawkmoth and how it supposably happened...

Chat Noir assumes the problem has gotten ten times worse. 

Any place in public that came to his mind presented a dilemma to him. First and foremost, Chat Noir couldn't just waltz in. He had no business at a convivence store, a coffee shop, or a gas station. What was he going to say? "Oh, I'm just here to buy a charger?" The media after that would go ballistic with crazy theories about his life. All things he didn't need right now. 

Clearly Chat Noir had to be out of this picture. Just this one last time. 

So he had to be his... former self. And hide it from anyone in the area. He needed a disguise. Something dull and unrecognizable, which covered his whole body. The best way to get that would be to "go to your house!" go dumpster diving. It made him nervous, thinking about being exposed like that. He could feel his heart start to speed up. His mind started to race.

"Claws in." Take the ring off, fast. "Shit, shit, shit," he fumbled with the ring, scared Plagg would appear, disappointed and angry. He put the ring in his pocket. Why were his hands shaking? He felt... faint, and light. Nervous. He felt naked most of all, without the suit. 

Dumpster dive, fast. Get this done. He couldn't be caught like this, in his signature striped outfit! The one his father Hawkmoth had curated, for the brand. For the company, which he loved more than his own son- 

He found a suitable outfit consisting of one baggy black hoodie, one pair of brown cargo pants, and two gray sneakers. Fantastic.  

Change, change, change-  Don't forget the ring. Put it in your new brown pocket. 

He looked at his old clothes he didn't need anymore. Get rid of them. Throw them away. And so he did.

After he left the alley, he wrapped his mind around places to go. What would cause the least attention? Across the street, there happened to be a library. 

Perfect! Chargers, lots of people around. No one would pay attention to me. Not while I have these clothes on, he thought as he pulled the hood over his head. He sighed as he looked out to the illuminated street in front of him. I have to do this. For Mari.

Then he stepped into the light.

~~~~~

Being around so many people made him feel self-conscious. They didn't look like they were staring at him, but he felt it. When he stepped, he could feel their eyes on him. Hear their whispers and see their conversations. Nobody could possibly be reading now, he thought, it's too loud in the library. The lights are too bright. They must be filming him, taking pictures and posting. 

Shit. They must know. How could they not? Fucking Adrien Agreste Chat Noir is in this library, and he is famous! This was such a stupid idea! He gasped. I'll be found out, taken away, reviled for lying, no one will save me-

He reached the cords at the back of the building, behind the rows of books, desks and computers. He sat. Tried breathing. It was too fast. He looked around and found no one was watching him. Thank fuck. He must've been wrong, this time. He plugged his phone in and it rebooted up. 

What he saw broke his heart.

So many messages from his friends, asking where he went, was he safe, could they talk, or just answer and let them know he was alive. Alya was the first to text him. She must have followed the press release after the whole thing. Nino was the second to text him and had sent the most messages between the two of them. Chloe had texted too, and Luka, and Kagami. Everyone in his class had sent a message. Mari texted last out of all of them. She was almost always late, he smiled, but she always cared about him more than any of them.

She had sent him over a hundred messages. And never had a gap more than five hours. Sometimes she begged for him to text back. Other times she would talk about her day, and how things were going. Like she was trying to coax him back to the land of the living. And every night he found a long, sobbing paragraph between the hours of two and five. 

She must not be sleeping well, he thought. I have to help her somehow.

After his phone was completely full of battery, he scurried out of the building as quickly as possible. Thankfully it was easier the second time, as more people had left the later it got. Immediately after disappearing into an ally, Chat Noir took out his ring. 

Close eyes. Ring on. Do it. Now. 

"ADRI-"

Chat gasped as his eyes opened. He hadn't done it fast enough. He had heard Plagg. Fuck. And he sounded furious. Shit, shit, shit. It was fine. Plagg couldn't do anything. Not now that the suit was on. Although he could literally feel the heat of his Kwami's anger- Plagg couldn't touch him.

After a while, the feeling had settled down, and he realized being his civilian self was exhausting. Chat wondered how he ever was able to do it for so long before. Without the mask it was harder to breathe and think. His hands felt too light when they weren't covered in leather, and he felt stiff without his tail for balance. 

He looked around and saw holes everywhere, like they had been blasted out of the ground. The trash that littered the alley moments before had disappeared.

I don't remember using Cataclysm, Chat shivered.

It felt so freeing to be himself again. Chat Noir decided to go back to the attic he had been sleeping in. Just to catch his breath before seeing Mari. When he arrived he quickly sat down and felt a wave of tiredness shoot through him. All of that anxious energy had caught up to him, and now he could barely think about even standing up. He tried to raise his hand, but it was too heavy. His eyes felt the same way and soon it was hard to keep them open for long.