Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The house, though uncharacteristically quiet, is still as neat and well-maintained as ever. Usually the chattering and laughter of women of the house are everywhere to be heard. It's a sort of sound that Jeonghan extremely enjoys, loves being in the warm vicinity of his family.

Lately, though, it hasn't been as warm. Now the house is less sunshine and rainbows, and more cloudy and chilly. Now that their mother -the sun of the household, so to speak- is sick and bedridden, that familiar atmosphere is nowhere to be found.

Jeonghan and his two younger sisters still try their best. They do whatever they can to fill in her empty space, and keep the house as welcoming as possible, especially for their hardworking father to come to after an arduous day of work. And, perhaps, just perhaps, their older brother to return to.

Nevertheless, the times are hard, and none of the members of the family are having a good time. Their mother has been sick for more than a month now, with no signs of recovery in sight. Since then, the whole family has been in shambles. Their carpenter father started to stay in his workshop excessively to take as many orders as possible. The daughters, Youngmi and Nara don't have it easy either, with Youngmi's beloved breaking the engagement after rumors of their financial problems filled the city, and both daughters taking on laborious tasks to make up for the lack of money for their mother's healing devices. Their eldest brother Jiwan, being far away in the capital as a military officer, possibly hasn't even heard the news of their sick mother. Everyone in the family knows that as soon as he receives their letter, he'll be at their doorstep at the earliest opportunity.

And Jeonghan, he had to let go of the job he cherished so much (a consultant in beauty in both hair and makeup, sometimes even fashion, an artist if you will) to leave their town to search the bigger ones for a healer who can finally provide them with a cure that doesn't merely prevent the symptoms from worsening, but thoroughly cures their mother's sickness.

Today's no different from what has become his normality. By the time Jeonghan puts on his coat and is ready to leave, everyone else has already left to deal with their own daily hustles. He bids his half awake mother goodbye, and leaves the house to go to one of the adjacent cities. He has searched three of them so far, all but to no avail. The healers he has found all travelled to his hometown, only to tremendously fail at coming up with a working cure, leaving them with less money, and even less hope.

This, of course, doesn't hinder Jeonghan from doing his best. Although his previous occupation brought him relatively good money, asking his younger sisters to do this task and continuously travel all these miles was too much of a dangerous request, and too draining for his aging father.

So Jeonghan does what has to be done; he takes the fatigue and the demanding act of constantly commuting back and forth on foot. It doesn't matter how far he has to go, he'll go as far as the capital if he has to, anything to keep his family safe and sound, giving them at least a glitter of hope.

Today's destined town isn't too far away, close enough for him to be back home by this time tomorrow if he doesn't make any long stops. But he'll have to check the safety of the road for a night walk, probing for any signs of danger, of men with malicious intentions. He doesn't have anything of value on him, save for some bread and water he'll probably finish by nighttime, being devoured by fatigue and hunger. But he's unfortunately learned the hard way that money and food aren't always what attracts the rogues and troublemakers of the deserted roads. So although the thought of being away from his family, his mother, for more than a few hours does make him unsettled, it's the price he has to pay to get back to them safely.

Being morning, almost everyone at the town is at work now. A few women and children come across him on their ways and wave him hellos as he passes them with a nod and a smile. He's always been popular in his town, praised for his delicate beauty and pleasant manners. His popularity is even more exceptional among women his age, many of them hoping of catching his eye and attention, at least this was the case before his family got into bankruptcy.

After several hours of endless walking, he finally reaches the destinated town, and opts to seek its renowned healer. He manages by asking the townspeople he stumbles upon, and makes his way to the remote cottage they point to. The detachedness of it, and its relative minuteness (at least in case of a healer's house) somewhat baffles Jeonghan. But when he steps Infront of the door, and the owner opens the door for him, it all clicks.

The healer of this town is a woman.

No wonder this healer isn't showered in presents and commendations. No matter how efficient and praiseworthy her job is, the townspeople and specifically its governor would not pay her half as much attention as they would a male healer. Female healers are a scarcity, in most towns like his almost nonexistent. But Jeonghan knows the cure to his mother's illness doesn't lay in the hands of gender, but skillfulness and expertise. So he greets the healer with a smile that puffs up his cheeks, and explains his case.

"Oh dear, that sounds like an extreme matter," she says once Jeonghan is done speaking. "It is," he nods, his voice somber and barely stable. "None of the healers that have examined her could find anything. But...please, could you also have a look? It would mean a lot and, of course I would pay you for your time."

"Alright dear, I will do my best," she says with a gentle smile. "Why don't you come in and explain more about her conditions and the comments the other healers gave? I know they couldn't come up with a cure, but their observations could also come in handy."

And so Jeonghan does that. It's not hard as he's memorized every single detail about his mother's sickness, has spent hours awake at night overthinking the words of the healers. "She can't be saved," "There's not much hope," "It's better you spend the remaining time by her side."

"By the sound of it, she's battling with a scarce illness. So even if I don't find a diagnosis or solution right off the bat, I might be able to find one in a book or by doing some inquiries. So don't lose hope even if I can't give you a straightforward answer upon examination, alright?"

Jeonghan nods his head, grateful that she's even considering what might seem a lost cause to many others.

"But it's late now," the healer continues. "Why don't you stay here a night, and we'll leave tomorrow morning?"

"I..." Jeonghan hesitates, a hint of blush on his cheeks as he murmurs, "I didn't really bring money for accomodation, ma'am."

"Oh, it's alright," she says with a wave of her hand, her smile not fading one bit. "You can stay with us free of charge."

"Us?"

"Me and my daughter of course. In fact, she'll probably be here soon. I'm sure she wouldn't mind a guest as good-looking as yourself staying with us for a night or so," she teases, her smile turning into a grin, causing Jeonghan's blush to deepen. "Thank you ma'am."

And so he stays, and helps the healer with preparing dinner as well as putting the antidotes and herbs that were scattered here and there as a result of the day's work in place.

As the healer mentioned, the daughter shows up not an hour later. Though she is taken back by the sight of a stranger in their house, her features show signs of preexisting surprise.

"Oh, hello. Who's our guest, mother?" The daughter -Luna- asks, probably also bewildered at the sight of Jeonghan putting away the belongings of her mother.

"That's our guest for tonight," her mother replies. "His mother is in need of help and I'll be going back with him to his town tomorrow to check on her, so he's staying with us for the night. Is anything the matter, sweetheart? You seemed quite shocked as you entered."

"Right," Luna says as she approaches them with a paper in her hands. "An officer has just arrived to town," she says breathlessly, as if she could not wait to share the news. "He's sticking these papers all over the walls." She holds it up to show them the writings on the paper:

"The glorious ball in honour of Prince Seungcheol
All the women around the kingdom aged between 18 and 25 are invited to attend the great gala held by their royal highnesses for Crown Prince Seungcheol"

Oh wow, Jeonghan thinks. He's heard of the crown prince not accepting any hand in marriage despite being in his mid twenties. But he had no idea the king and queen's desperation would drive them to do something so out of the ordinary.

"I must go mother!" the daughter exclaims, bringing Jeonghan out of his thoughts. "Even if the prince doesn't choose me, I mean very unlikely that he will even take a look at me, I might still be able to meet some people and just...just being in the capital, in the royal palace would be a dream come true!"

Jeonghan feels a pang of jealousy rise in his heart. His sisters should also have the luxury to dream about the loyal palace and crown prince. But here they are, their minds filled with nothing but long hours of work to bring home as much money as they can.

The healer gives her daughter a gentle smile, "alright sweetheart, I don't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to go."

"I need money though," she pouts, though her eyes light up. "I don't really have a suitable dress."

"Well," the healer gives Jeonghan a look. "Seems like you're in luck, your savior arrived today." Jeonghan blushes at the nickname, not sure to whether appreciate being called a savior given the money he's about to lose.

"Oh," the daughter says, as if recalling Jeonghan's existence and gives him a glance. "Thank you sir!"

He lets out a laugh at the fresh title, and shakes his head, suddenly feeling older than he should.

Eventually they have dinner, with Luna explaining all about her day and how the girls in the town are all ready to attend the ball. Jeonghan can already imagine the fanfare that has stirred up in his hometown; he wonders whether his sisters have caught a glimpse or overheard the gossips throughout their nonstopping work load.

After a dreamless night as a result of of the arduous journey of the day, they head to his town first thing in the morning. At the perseverance and steadiness of the healer during their journey, Jeonghan can tell she's used to travelling long distances. And it gives him hope. Because if she's constantly asked for even from miles away, then it most probably indicates her dexterity. Not that the previous healers lacked it, his mother's sickness is just too rare to be known by the average healer who hasn't come across it beforehand.

Soon they arrive at his house, and his sisters are there to welcome them, having taken a few hours off to be there for their brother and the healer's arrival. They lead the way to their mother's bedside, and the healer wastes no time in getting to work.

"Well?" Youngmi says once the healer is done with her examination.

"It's..." the healer lets out a sigh. "The good news is, I know the cure."

Jeonghan's eyes widen. Finally.

"And the bad news?" Nara asks.

"It's not to be found in our kingdom."

Oh..

"As far as I know, the cure to your mother's sickness lies in a plant called Vironsa. I believe it exists in Sawol."
Sawol, the neighboring kingdom in north, is the farthest one from their hometown. There is no way Jeonghan could reach it by foot, and they did not have the means to cover a carriage's costs.

"But that's good news, right? I mean it's far, sure, but it's doable? Only an inconvenience," Nara says looking at Jeonghan and Youngmi back and forth.

Their sisters, having spent their whole lives in their small town, don't truly have the capability of grasping the long distances it takes to reach other towns, let alone kingdoms. With that being said, Jeonghan interrupts the healer when she locks eyes with him and opens her mouth to probably protest. "Right, it might be a bit harder for me to reach. But I'll manage."

The healer remains quiet in understanding, and gives them a nod with pursed lips. After paying her, Jeonghan sees her out and thanks her for the work she's done, while her sisters stay by their mother's side.

"How could you handle going to Sawol, dear? Surely, you don't plan to get there by foot?" she asks, worry evident in her tone despite having met him only yesterday. It warms Jeonghan's heart, even if it doesn't mean much once she departs.

He shakes his head. Even if they had the means to cover the amount of food and drink necessary for him to reach the kingdom, there's no way of telling whether their mother would stay alive until he comes back. "I'll think of something, ma'am."

Her eyes soften, and she returns a few coins to his hands. "It's not much, but it would ease my conscience."

"I- but what about your daughter?" Jeonghan asks in shock. None of the other healers, none of their own townspeople have ever stepped out of their way to lend them a hand, let alone cutting their own wage to do so.

The healer chuckles at his words and shakes her head, "I think my daughter can manage to wear a less expensive dress to the prince's gala."

The prince's gala...Jeonghan thanks the healer once more and rushes back inside, excited to share this news with his sisters in case they haven't heard.

"We have," Youngmi says with a roll of her eyes. "Surely you don't expect us to go, Hannie? We can't leave mother alone like that."

"At least one of you could," Jeonghan says with a frown. "You already have a dress, and it wouldn't take much to reach the capital by carriage-"

"By carriage?!" Nara nearly screams. "Hannie you can't possibily think that have that much money to spare?"

It would be costy, but not nearly as much as what it would take to reach Sawol.

"Even if we did," Youngmi says. "It would take us a couple of days, all of which could earn us money. Between going to the fancy ball thrown for the Crown Prince who, let's face it won't even spare us a glance, and making money, I'm choosing the latter."

Jeonghan sighs. It seems he can't convince his sisters, and he can't really blame them either. Money's been real tight lately, and they must feel a certain responsibility towards it. Still, he wishes his sisters could enjoy what has become a "dream come true" for many women, as the healer's daughter mentioned.

Soon their father arrives home, and they share the news with him. He looks at Jeonghan sceptically. Although he has also never set foot in any other town in their kingdom, his knowledge regarding its geography excels that of his daughters. "Are you sure you could do it, Jeonghan? Isn't Sawol too far away?"

Jeonghan shakes his head firmly, "I can manage, father."

"I know you are capable, son. You have more than proven it to us. But frankly you have no knowledge of Sawol, how matters are dealt there, and neither do we."

"I need you to put your trust in me," Jeonghan says with a feigned confidence. "I'm well aware that neither the journey nor finding the herb are going to be easy tasks. But I have to do everything in my power for mother, for us."

As he expected, his father relents rather easily, knowing there's not another way to help his poor wife. So he nods his head and gives Jeonghan a pat on the shoulder. "I'm very lucky to have children like you."

Later that night when his sisters go to bed, Jeonghan's father finds him alone and hands him a bag of money. "Take this, son. I explicitly asked your sister not to hand you any of their own money. My poor girls have already done more than they should," he says with a grim face. It hurts Jeonghan to see his father, any of his family members really, so beaten down and solemn. He would do anything to get rid of that. "You have already done more than you should. I am sorry I cannot provide you with more."

"Thank you father, it's more than enough to cover my journey. I really appreciate it," he says with a smile.

As he's lying in his bed once his father goes to sleep, Jeonghan for some reason can't get the crown prince's gala out of his head, and it's not merely the thought of his sisters losing the chance to attend something be so glamorous. Deep down, he knows they would have had a better chance of finding some sort of solution there than he has of successfully reaching Sawol and getting a hold of the herb.

What if...

Jeonghan doesn't dwell on it much. Lets himself move before any opposing thoughts (rational ones, probably) threaten to hold him back. He gathers all his remaining beauty devices, and sneaks into his sisters' room to find the most elegant gown they have, which doesn't really have much elegance to it but he does with what he can. "I'm sorry loves," he whispers as he readily puts the coins the healer handed to him in their closet as some sort of compensation. With what his father gave him, he has enough to ride a carriage for parts of his journey to the capital and walking the rest. He puts everything he's gathered alongside anything edible he can find, save for a few to remain for his family for tomorrow morning, into his a bag and writes his family a note. He tells them of his plans to reach Sawol as soon as possible by departing earlier, and asks them to wish him luck on his journey.

Luck, is most probably truly what he's in need of as he embarks on his journey to the capital.

Chapter Text

Jeonghan leaves the town amidst the darkness of midnight, with the streets devoid of people. His plan, as he's tried to come up with in the haziness due to his lack of sleep, is to walk as much as he can until he reaches a town where he can find an affordable ride to the capital. He would need to disguise himself before that, of course.

In all honesty, he's not really sure what he's doing, what he expects to gain out of this. He just hopes that maybe, just maybe, he can find some sort of solution in the capital. He would beg the king and queen themselves if he has to. Anything that would earn him some sort of salvation.

It's nearly afternoon when he runs out of food. Fortunately for him, he reaches a town with somewhat affordable rides a few hours later. So he finds himself a remote spot with no one nearby, and gets to work. A wig isn't necessary, luckily. His own long hair suffices as it reaches below his shoulder. He's grateful he never minded the people telling him to cut it, persisting that he looks more manly when it's short and too much like a girl when it's this long. Jeonghan's never cared much about things like that. He likes his hair long, feels more like himself in his skin as he lets it loose around him. His sisters never complained either, always so intrigued to pamper him ever since he was young and his sisters had just begun to learn make up. Perhaps that's what led him to his occupation too. He had always enjoyed the look of satisfaction on the costumers when he was done, an undeniable proof of his remarkable job. So while being a male beauty consultant was a strange thing, perhaps as strange as a female healer, it did work in his favor, especially now.

He thanks his past self for having packed a razor among his beauty devices, and puts that to use. It takes some time, and it results in a few small cuts here and there, but nothing to fuss over.

He curses as he gets into the dress because even though it does somewhat fit him -thanks to him becoming thinner than before after restraining from eating due to their lack of leftovers and the miles he's had to walk- it hadn't occured to him that the gown would be relatively short. And while it's not too short to become too much of a hassle, as it reaches a couple of centimetres above his ankles, he's not really much aware of the etiquettes of those in the capital, especially not those regarding women; not sure whether it would come off as too immodest. So as much as he hates to, he opts to spend some of his money to buy a pair of stockings that makes him look more ladylike.

And like that he's almost done with the fashion part of his disguise; only needs to make some...breasts.

Which is why he's packed an extra pair of socks.

In his career, he's come across girls who weren't thoroughly satisfied with the way their bodies looked, and did all sorts of things to change it. He as a beauty consultant, picked up a few handy tricks here and there (none that are harmful, of course.)

So he uses the socks by rolling them tightly into a compact shape, and the result isn't unsatisfying.

He doesn't do too much of a heavy make-up, focusing mostly on making his features more soft edged. Once he's done with his everything, he prepares himself to make his first encounter with the world as a woman. Fortunately enough, his voice, much like his other features, aren't deemed too "manly" and can come off as a woman's if he slightly changes its tone and softens it, which isn't particularly hard for him as a softspoken person.

He finds his way to a carriage, and pays for his ride before getting on. Inside, there are two women who are unsurprisingly speaking of the ball.

"Are you also headed there as well?" he asks shyly.

"Yes!" one of the girls replies excitedly. "I can't wait to meet the prince, I've heard he's one of the handsomest men of the kingdom!"

The other girl takes a look at Jeonghan and says with a smile, "The prince will surely take a liking of you, you're immensely pretty, as I'm sure you've been told before."

Jeonghan blushes at the compliment. He's almost accustomed to women praising his beauty, after hearing them almost his whole life. But admittedly, it does feel different when he knows that it doesn't come from a place of attraction.

He gives her his thanks, and returns the compliment. The rest of the ride passes with the similar type of small talk without any significant incidents. Once they reach the capital, Jeonghan is amazed at the change in scenery in the enriched city, and feels a sense of wonder he hasn't since childhood.

Finding his way to the castle is hardly a challenge, as a big crowd is walking towards it. Jeonghan feels his nerves rise at the sight. There are so many people, and just by a slip he could mess up his disguise, he would be found out and then- what would happen next?

But no. He has to force himself out of this headspace. He's here now, and trivial thoughts won't get him anywhere. There's no going back, only forward and on.

So he goes on his way, and after what it feels like endless hours of waiting in the queue, the palace's entrance finally comes to view.

"Oh you're definitely not 18!" a voice roars through. The guard's. "Thought you could trick us, little girl?"

"I- I" the girl's voice is terrified. Jeonghan can only see her back, and she's a small being. Even from this view he can tell that she's not of age.

The guard's voice raises again, and just when Jeonghan thinks that things are about to get violent, a feminine voice surges through.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?!"

The guard falls quiet upon hearing that voice.

"That's the princess!" Whispers a voice near Jeonghan.

Princess Sanya, the youngest child of the three siblings.

"Your highness, she-" the guard stumbles on his words, clearly unnerved by the princess' unexpected entrance.

"She what? Saw a little girl and thought you could bully her?"

"I- of course not, your highness." All the power and authority from earlier are wiped from the guard's voice.

"I'll deal with you later," the princess says with a roll of her eyes, before turning to the girl, her features going into a 180° change as she offers her a smile. "What's your name, dear? Sana? Oh that sort of rhymes with mine! Would you like to enter the castle, Sana? Though I have to say, you're kind of prohibited from talking to the crown prince. Well that's not an official rule but I'm making it now, because you're underage and that would make him a weirdo, alright?" Jeonghan blinks at her frank and carefree mannerisms. She is not at all what he expected a princess to be like. "But well, there is more to this place than the infamous prince. Honestly, trust me when I say you can do so much better than him," she says dismissively. "Come, I'll show you around." She takes her hand and leads her inside.

Jeonghan is left in awe at the princess' treatment towards the common girl. No one would bat an eye if she was thrown out of the castle, as she was there against the rules. But that didn't prevent the princess from treating her with kindness.

He's left in more awe once he passes the guards (with no issues, thankfully) and enters the royal palace. The main chamber is even more enormous than he had imagined. He walks around the room admiring every corner of it, while listening to the nearby conversations here and there. It seems that prince Seungcheol hasn't danced with anyone yet, a shock to many of the ladies since tonight is the night he is supposed to finally announce his future wife.

Jeonghan stops in his tracks, as he suddenly comes across a familiar face who's standing a few feets away, occupied with chatting with some of the ladies. Luna, the healer's daughter.

Without wasting a moment, Jeonghan turns on his heels and walks away. It takes him so off guard that he goes on without stopping, urged to get away from her as much as possible. There is a big chance that she might not recognize her, especially with all the make up he's wearing. But she isn't blind, and he can't take any risks. So he flees the chamber and enters a hallway.

The hallway is empty, which gives Jeonghan a chance to calm both his breath and beating heart. He slows down, and takes a look around at the interior builds among the paintings on the walls. Despite being merely a hallway, this place looks devastatingly beautiful.

His appreciation of its beauty, however, comes to a halt at the sudden voices he hears.

"I told you I can't do this, mother!"

The voice is whisper-shouting, definitely not wanting to be heard.

"This is too much for me. You can't just throw a crowd of women at me and tell me to choose a wife!"

The crown prince?!

Jeonghan has to step away and go back into the main chamber. But his curiosity gets the better of him, and he listens on.

"You've been told to choose a wife for the past few years, Seungcheol." That's the queen's voice, firm and fully authoritative. "It is not our problem that you couldn't fulfil that duty on your own. You will make a choice today, and it's up to you to make sure it is a wise one. All the accomplished ladies we've introduced to you are invited here. Either pick one of them, or of the commoners. It doesn't matter at this point."

"Alright, fine," the prince says, his voice defeated. "Just- just let me have a breath, I'll be back."

Before Jeonghan has time to move, a figure appears in the hallway from one of the doors a few feet away.

"Oh," the prince says upon seeing him, clearly not expecting to see anyone here.

"Oh," Jeonghan says. "I- um, excuse me, your highness. I was just um- well I-"

Seungcheol lets out a chuckle as Jeonghan stumbles on his words and flushes deeply. He looks away as heat takes over his features, and tries once more. "I was just trying to find my way back into the main chamber. I didn't mean to get in your way, I'm sorry."

"Aren't you in this castle specifically to get in my way?" Seungcheol says with a raise of his eyebrow. Wow. Those eyebrows, Jeonghan thinks to himself, why are they so thick?

"Well yes," Jeonghan says, hiding the fact that he's partly annoyed at the prince's teasing. "But you know what I mean."

The prince's eyes soften, and he flashes him a soft smile. "May I know your name?"

Jeonghan's lips part in surprise. He was half expecting the prince to be on his way and get away, not for him to inquire his name of all people. Definitely not after the conversation he just had with his mother.

"Yoo- Yoo Hanni."

"Yoo Hanni," Seungcheol repeats. It's not his real name, not his full name anyway. But the sound of it on Seungcheol's lips, with his deep voice and all, makes Jeonghan take a real liking to the newly attained name.

"Well, Miss Hanni, would you give me the honor of being the first woman to dance with me?"

Jeonghan's lips part one more time, and he blinks a few times to reassure himself that he's in fact not dreaming. There he is, the crown prince of their kingdom, asking him to be his dance partner? After not accepting even one woman among all the guests?

"Yes," Jeonghan says without hesitation, desperate not to miss this opportunity. If the crown prince finds him enticing, then he's not gonna let this go by any chance.

Seungcheol holds out his hand, Jeonghan looks at it for a second, bites his lower lip and then takes it. The prince's grip is solid, as if wanting to show his determination in picking Jeonghan as his partner in dance. Jeonghan isn't sure he's fulling grasping what is going on, he only lets Seungcheol lead the way back into the main room.

Jeonghan can hear the gasps as they enter the ballroom. If not for the music, the room would have fallen into silence. There's not one pair of eyes that's not fixed on them, and Jeonghan isn't sure how to act. He swallows, and as if sensing his nerves, Seungcheol gives his hand a squeeze. Somehow, that's enough to calm Jeonghan a little.

Once they reach the center and come to a halt, Jeonghan remembers that he has a confession to make. "I- I'm not really accustomed to dancing.." he mumbles as he stares into Seungcheol's eyes.

"It's alright," Seungcheol whispers, his voice soft with a hint of amusement in it. Jeonghan feels a slight relief at the lack of mocking layered in it. "Just follow my lead."

And so he does. Jeonghan soon realizes that it's relatively easy to do that, perhaps that's a result of Seungcheol being the crown prince, and therefore used to leading others. They move according to the music, and Jeonghan finds himself unable to look anywhere other than at Seungcheol, unable to put his attention elsewhere.

"You must have a natural talent if this is your first time dancing, Hanni."

Jeonghan feels a sense of pride at the prince's compliment, and tries not to blush again. "I don't really think that's the case, your highness."

"Oh you should've seen my brother Seungkwan when he was first learning how to dance. He couldn't go on for two seconds without stepping on his partner's foot!"

Jeonghan lets out a laugh, and finds himself easing up more and more, the prince's presence not as nerve-wracking as before.

"That's him there actually," Seungcheol says as he points to a certain spot with his eyes. Jeonghan follows his gaze, and the first thing he notices is how the boy's sole existence lights up the whole room. With his smiley face and puffed up cheeks, his eyes are on the boy next to him before turning to look at them, as everyone else in the room is doing. Their eyes the meet, and Jeonghan is gifted with a gentle smile, one which he returns.

"And who's the boy beside him?" Jeonghan asks as they continue their dance, their rhythm unstopping.

"That's Hansol, his guard," Seungcheol replies.

"Oh, I thought they were friends," Jeonghan says as he turns his attention back to Seungcheol. "They seem close."

Seungcheol lets out a chuckle, "you would be correct. We're all relatively close to our staff here."

"And would that mean you're close to your own guard, your highness?" Jeonghan asks. Though actually curious, he also intends to keep the conversation flowing so that Seungcheol doesn't tire of him. And maybe, just maybe, he could ask the prince for some help after the gala is over and the prince chooses one of the ladies.

"You don't need to call me by my title every time, Hanni." Seungcheol's voice is soft, as soft as his fixed eyes on Jeonghan are. And his smile, though it doesn't fully reach his ears, makes apparent the dimples on his cheeks. And Jeonghan, he should look away, he should take his eyes off of them and focus. But for some reason, he can't; as if he's lost in their depth.

"It's- I- it wouldn't be proper for me to do otherwise, your highness." He finally glances downward, getting out of the haze filling his mind.

"And why is that?" Seungcheol asks, a slight frown replacing his mesmerising dimples, and for a moment, Jeonghan thinks to himself that he would do anything in his power to bring them back. "I think my name would sound nice on your lips, your voice is quite lovely."

Jeonghan's face grows hot again. He finds it hard to believe that the prince has never had a lover in his life before. Maybe there's not much truth to that, because how else could he gain such skills in flirtation?

"Well if it pleases you, then I could call you Seungcheol, my prince."

Seungcheol's smile widens, and his eyes never leave Jeonghan, making him shiver at the intensity of his gaze.

"You didn't answer my question though," Jeonghan says with a pout.

"Right, I'm also very close with my guard Jisoo. We actually kind of grew up together."

Jeonghan hums, it must be nice having such people in a life so hectic and surrounded by many responsibilities. Seungcheol agrees once he voices his thoughts. "You're right, they're really a great pillar in our lives."

The song comes to a halt, and Jeonghan assumes that to be the end of it. But when he readies to part, Seungcheol takes a hold of his arm and gently pulls him back.

"Don't you want to switch your partner, your- Seungcheol?"

"No," Seungcheol says decidedly. "You have stolen all my attention it seems, Miss Yoo."

The whispers in the hall rise as the next song begins and the couple remain in the center. Jeonghan dares to throw a glance at where the king and queen are placed, and is surprised to see the look of satisfaction and glee on the queen's face.

"Unless of course you've tired of it?" Seungcheol asks, a hint of hesitance -and insecurity?- hidden in his voice.

Admittedly, Jeonghan is tired. Not only is he not used to dancing, but the constant focus on not messing up in front of Seungcheol and everyone else has also greatly exhausted him. But of course, another dance with the prince isn't something he is going to refuse. So he shakes his head, and holds Seungcheol once more. "Why... why me?" he asks hesitantly. "There are a lot of elegant women here...why haven't you danced with any of them?"

"I've been surrounded by elegant women my entire life, Hanni," Seungcheol says, his voice solemn. "If elegance was what I was looking for, I would've got married a long time ago."

"What is it you want then?" Jeonghan asks as he keeps following the prince's lead. Perhaps he was right, and Jeonghan does have a talent in this, seeing as how easy it's become for him to trace his steps.

"I'm not... I'm not entirely sure," Seungcheol murmurs. "But I'm tired of being told to "just pick a woman". I don't want to choose a partner just for the sake of having one."

Jeonghan nods but stays silent. He can understand the prince's struggles, a life time partner, especially as a prince and later a king, isn't something to be taken lightly, even more so if you're looking for love alongside compatibility. But with the way Jeonghan's life has turned out these past few months, he can't really bring himself to feel empathy for the prince.

"Regardless of what I want, I have to choose someone tonight. Or else my parents will do it for me," he says with a dry chuckle followed by a sigh. "If my fate is going to be chosen by someone else, I might as well have some hand in it, right?"

Jeonghan then speaks up, "what is it that you're most afraid of?" he asks softly.

"What do you mean?" Seungcheol asks, a frown forming on his forehead in confusion.

"If you end up picking the wrong partner, what is the worst thing that could happen?"

"Well," Seungcheol starts. "For one, I'm afraid that my partner would be discontent if I can't truly love her. I mean, she would be given a life of prosperity, true. But that can only get you so far, you know?"

Jeonghan doesn't. He can't think of one problem in his life that won't be solved by wealth. His mother would recover, his father wouldn't have to constantly be overworked, his sisters would get to live luxuriously, and his brother would finally return to them.

But he doesn't voice any of this, of course. Instead, he opts to sympathise with the prince.

"And?"

"And...what if our kids sense that there is no love or strong affection between their parents? I don't- I want my kids to grow up surrounded by love," he says, his sincerity evident in his tone and features.

Jeonghan softens at his words. That is something he can grasp, having grown up in a family full of love himself. It's also admirable to him how Seungcheol, in his stubbornness against picking a partner, is mostly anxious at the outcomes it brings to others' lives.

"You can't fully satisfy everyone, Seungcheol," he says gently. "There are always things that might go wrong, and it's great to try to prevent them. But sometimes they're inevitable, and you can't spend your whole life worrying about that."

The look Seungcheol gives him is one of both bafflement and shock, as if hearing those words for the first time. "I have to worry though, that's kind of my job."

Jeonghan lets out a chuckle. "You have to assure that you marry the right person and raise your children well, yes. But you're only responsible for how you treat those people, not how other factors might affect them."

It's Seungcheol's turn to remain silent, going over his words. So Jeonghan continues, "As you said, your wife and children will be gifted a life of prosperity, and will be treated with utmost respect. So the only thing that they would need is a good husband and father. And that's something you can work on."

Before Seungcheol can get a chance to respond, the song comes to an end, and this time they have to depart for the dinner to be served. Jeonghan flashes the prince a smile, and parts from him with a curtsy, reluctant to let go of the warmth that had wrapped around him. He's well aware of the eyes still on him as he leaves the center of the ballroom, everyone trying to figure out what is so unique about him that picked the prince's interest.

Despite missing having the prince by his side already, Jeonghan is grateful for the food that is served. Although his family was doing well fortune-wise up to his mother's illness, they never had more food than they could eat. So Jeonghan puts his hand on all the new and familiar food as much as he can, and makes up for all the times in the past few months that he's ate without getting full.

Once the dinner is over, the ceremony switches to that of a chattering. Surprisingly, the crowd has massively lessened, with most of the guests having to depart early to return to their hometowns. Jeonghan feels a relief to spot Luna amongst them, leaving with her newfound friends. Still, there are enough people to fill the main chamber. After a quick scan of the remaining people, Jeonghan is even more relieved to find out there is no one here who comes from his town and might recognise him. Nevertheles, he can't bring himself to talk with anyone, aware of most people still glancing at him now and then.

His mind is too occupied with the prince, his words, the way he was dancing so smoothly and confidently, the way he constantly flashed his dimples at him... Jeonghan mentally shakes his head and tries to get a hold of himself. He should be preparing himself for the things he wants to tell the prince once he announces his spouse and the ball is over. About his mother, the cure, Sawol-

His thoughts are scattered by the clinking intended to gain the attention of the guests. All heads turn to where the royal family is standing.

"Thank you, ladies, for attending our ball. It is a pleasure to have you here," the queen says. She puts a hand on Seungcheol's arm. "It might have taken a while, but today marks the day that our son starts courting. Hopefully, this will end up in a gracious marriage and amiable children."

The crowd responds with an applause. When it dies down, it's Seungcheol's turn to speak.

"Thank you everyone. I am honored to meet every one of you here. I hope we will be able to hold more glamorous feasts as this." After a pause, he continues, "I'm well aware of the responsibilities I carry, and I am more than prepared to fulfil them. As my mother stated, tonight is the night I choose the woman to share those responsibilities with." He takes a breath, and takes a glance at Jeonghan. That one look is enough for Jeonghan's heartbeat to quicken.

But it doesn't stop there.

After turning to his direction, the prince takes a couple of steps towards him before coming to a halt.

"Yoo Hanni," the prince says. "Will you give me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Chapter Text

"Yoo Hanni," the prince says. "Will you give me the honor of becoming my wife?"

It's like the world stops. There are no thoughts in Jeonghan's mind as he stares into the prince's awaiting eyes.

Is this some sort of joke?

But everyone, including the king and queen themselves, is looking at him expectedly, waiting for him to make a move, to say something. So Jeonghan has no choice but to take slow and cautious steps towards the prince. Once they're facing each other, he takes the hand that was offered to him, and eventually speaks up.

"Yes. Yes, I will."

The crowd breaks into applause and cheers. Seungcheol's alluring dimples appear once again, and while everyone is staring at Jeonghan and clapping, his eyes are fixated on the man in front of him.

Cheol introduces him to his parents,
"Father and mother, this is Yoon Hanni, the woman I've chosen as my future wife."

Jeonghan curtsies, "your majesties."

"So we get to see the day a lady finally breaks our son's curse," the king says with a grin.

"It's an honor, your majesty," Jeonghan says, head still bowing.

"I have hope you two will become a compatible couple," the queen says, her smile consistent. Their commendation raises a mix of guilt and pride in Jeonghan's chest. "Thank you, son," she looks at Seungcheol. "You have made us proud. I'm certain the both of you will bring more honor through the children you bear."

Jeonghan can only nod his head and affirm their hopes and ambitions as they continue speaking of how long they have been waiting for this moment, how special Jeonghan must be for Seungcheol to have chosen him.

Special isn't the word Jeonghan would use. Lucky, maybe. Perhaps Seungcheol had gotten fed up with his parent's frustrating demands, and went with the first person he crossed paths with. Would he have been chosen if they hadn't stumbled upon each other in the hallway?

The look on Seungcheol's face throughout the rest of the night isn't one of a person who's merely happy with getting a task done. He seems...relieved? As if the worries he explained to Jeonghan earlier have faded away and turned to dust. Jeonghan isn't sure what to make of it, and what to think of the decision he has made. But witth Seungcheol announcing his future wife, the ceremony soon comes to an end as it's reached its ultimate goal. So he doesn't get an opportunity to speak more with the prince, and is soon led to his private chamber after bidding the royal family goodnight.

***

There are knocks on his door, and before Jeonghan can register anything seconds after waking up, it opens and several maids rush in.

"My lady," one of them, seemingly the headmaid calls out. "It's time to wake up! Today is your big day, you're going to meet the king and queen for breakfast."

Jeonghan blinks. Right. The king and queen, the ball.

The prince.

He rushes to pull the sheets up and cover himself before hurriedly giving an answer, "give me some time to prepare and I will be out-"

"Oh my lady, we'll be the ones getting you ready. No need to move a finger. Just step out of your bed please, and we'll do all the work," the woman says.

He tightens his grip on the sheets, as if scared they might just rip them away. "I insist, ma'am. Please let me do it myself."

"But-"

"Please, ma'am, let me be," he says, putting as much decisiveness in his voice as he can.

The headmaid gives him a look of extreme disapproval, making Jeonghan shift a little. But eventually she relents, and orders the others to leave. "We'll be back in 30 minutes. If you're not looking pleasant by then, we will do the necessary work."

Jeonghan nods. 30 minutes isn't enough to get his make up done, especially since he doesn't have much experience doing his own. But it covers the required time to take a bath and get dressed before they're back.

He was too tired to take much notice of the things in his room last night, but he did see a wide range of gowns in his closet. So after his quick bath, he pulls out one that he deems decent enough for a meeting with the royal family, and goes over the necessary procedure for convincingly coming off as a woman.

Eventually, he succeeds. By the time the 30 minutes are over and the maids rush back in, he's done with all the essentials, and mostly needs his hair and make up to be done. So he sits still, and lets them pamper him to their hearts. The process stirs up a burning feeling in his chest, as it gives him a reminder of what his sisters used to eagerly do back when things were normal.

Being workers at the royal family, the maids' hands are full of the most qualified tools out there, and they make great use of them. Jeonghan is deepy satisfied with the results, as they turn his untidy hair into a smooth looking wavy style.

"All set!" the headmaid says, a vibrant smile finally taking over her disapproving features from earlier. "Now, I will explain a few things to you on our way," she says before turning to one of the women, and with a hint of annoyance continues, "where on earth is Kim Mingyu?"

"He seems to be late, ma'am."

"Who is Kim Mingyu?" Jeonghan asks.

"That would be your guard."

He has a guard?

"Though unfortunately, he's fresh out of training, and thus very inexperienced."

"I don't mind," Jeonghan says with a faint smile.

"Oh, I do," the woman says. "We have all been looking forward to this day for years, my lady. The least that could have been done was to appoint a highly trained guard for the prince's betrothed."

"So why was he chosen?" Jeonghan asks.

The woman rolls her eyes, "he's close with the crown prince, that's why. His highness claims he would feel more at ease knowing his future wife is protected by someone he trusts."

That reasoning really softens Jeonghan's heart. Seungcheol seems to truly care about the people around him, doing anything in his power to make sure they're comfortable and at ease.

"I'm sorry I'm late!" a voice calls before barging in through the open doors. Jeonghan would have mistaken the man entering as a prince had he not been notified of his identity beforehand. He flashes them an apologetic smile before bowing. "I'm terribly sorry for being late, your highness."

Your highness?

The headmaid facepalms and starts lecturing Mingyu, "that's your lady Mingyu, she isn't the prince's wife yet, we've been over this."

Mingyu's eyes widen and he frantically nods his head as he realizes his mistake. "Right, right! Sorry, my lady."

Jeonghan waves it off with a smile, hoping that would ease the boy's nerves a little. "It's no big deal."

The headmaid scoffs at his nonchalance. "Let's get going now. You don't want to be late on your first meeting with the royal family now, do you?"

Definitely not. "First impressions are significant," his mother always used to say.

So they get on their way, and the headmaid starts telling him the rules as she had promised. Some of them he already knows, like the basic formalities he should abide by. Some, however, like the plans of the wedding, is completely news to him.

"If everything goes smoothly and Prince Seungcheol deems you compatible, you are to be married in three months."

Three months?!

Jeonghan doesn't know what he expected. Of course it wouldn't take them long to get over with everything. If the point of the marriage is an heir, then the prince would get married as soon as possible.

He gulps. Is that enough time to get his hands on the cure? Maybe he could make up some excuse to postpone it when the date comes...but then again, what is stopping Seungcheol from tossing him away if he shows even an ounce of reluctance?

He shakes his head to break free of his thoughts. Again, there's no way to back out now. No point panicking over the future.

When they arrive at the dining hall, the queen and king are being seated, and the three siblings are walking towards the table, laughing at something together.

Jeonghan already misses his own siblings.

At his entrance, the attentions are once more turned towards him, especially Seungcheol's, whose eyes don't wander from him as he walks to where they are. He mouths a "thank you" to Mingyu, and nods at the headmaid before stretching a hand towards Jeonghan with a smile. Jeonghan takes it, and they walk towards the table. His rising nerves at the sight of the royal family don't distract him from the various kinds of mouthwatering food on the table. He can't believe he doesn't need to hold himself back from eating for the time being.

Once he curties at the king and queen and exchanges pleasantries with them, Seungcheol introduces him to his siblings.

"Hanni, this is my brother Seungkwan, and my sister Sanya."

Jeonghan curtsies to them as well, though his action is dismissed by Sanya. "You don't need to be so formal with me and Kwannie, we're pretty chill in-laws."

Once more, Jeonghan is flabbergasted by her way of speaking and manners.

"Sanya is right," Seungkwan says as they take their seats. Whereas Seungcheol radiates power and authority, Seungkwan is more tenderness and delicacy. It makes Jeonghan want to protect him, in a way. "You're older than us anyway, right? Same age as hyung?"

Jeonghan nods.

"Oh, can I call you unnie then?" Sanya says enthusiastically as she starts digging into her food.

He blinks, having never thought to someday be called unnie. He nods his head slowly.

"It's so nice to finally have a woman my age around," Sanya continues. "I'm so tired of dealing with my brothers. Especially Cheollie," she throws a pointed glance at Seungcheol.

"Hey!" Seungcheol pouts. The crown prince of the kingdom, their future king pouts. "You make it sound like I'm giving you hell."

"You certainly are, in a way." Sanya rolls her eyes. "May your older brother tendencies slightly diminish, now that you have found yourself a wife to fuss over," she says dramatically.

Jeonghan blushes at the comment but covers it with a chuckle. Seungcheol looks over at him, his pout deepening.

"Alright you two," the queen says. "Let the poor girl be in peace."

"And let us speak of more important matters," the king says. Jeonghan straightens at the comment and prepares himself for what the king has to say next.

"Why do you want to marry Seungcheol?"

To say Jeonghan is taken aback would be an understatement. How is he supposed to give an answer to that?"

"To be more specific," the king clears up, "everyone would want to marry him for two things, money and power. So which one are you after? Or is it both you're seeking?"

Jeonghan leans back in his chair, "neither," he thinks, and voices it out too. "Well, sort of," he mumbles. He glances up to see everyone's expecting looks, waiting for him to elaborate. After letting out a sigh, he decides to be truthful (partially), and explains why he came here in the first place, and tells the story of his mother.

Once he's finished, he's surprised to feel the weight of Seungcheol's hand on his own, and he looks up to see a solemn cloud hanging over his features. "It must have been so tough, seeing your mother and family go through that."

"It is," Jeonghan nods. "They're working so hard, and I left home to come here.."

"Well you made the right choice, my dear," the queen says. "We will make sure to support you as much as you did."

"Sawol... they're not our greatest ally, truthfully. We have a somewhat rough history. But things have been placant for last few years. So it shouldn't cause any problems," the king says.

A seed of something warm is planted inside Jeonghan's heart; hope.

More hope than he's ever had since their mother fell sick. Maybe he's done the right thing by coming here afterwards.

"I will see to it today, and ask our trade minister to seek your mother's cure as soon as possible," the king says. Jeonghan isn't sure how to express his gratitude to the king, especially with how he is practically deceiving everyone in the room. The king dismisses it and says, "it's nothing of significance compared to what you have done for us, Hanni. You have given our family, our kingdom, hope and something to look forward to. This is just some payback compared to what you will do for us in the future."

And just like that, the guilt returns tenfold. The royal family is treating him with such generosity and kindness, while all he's done is deceive them into thinking that he's a woman.

Think of mother, Jeonghan thinks to himself. You're doing this for mother, don't forget that.

The conversation then turns more casual, and the attention is finally off of him, he uses this to focus on eating the delicious meal in front of him.

Seungcheol turns to him, "did you have a good night of sleep?"

"I did, your highness," Jeonghan replies.

"I thought that we agreed you call me Seungcheol?"

"Yes but- here?" Jeonghan says, pointing to the queen and king with his looks.

"Why not? Everyone knows you're to be my wife."

Right.

Jeonghan steals a glance at the others. The conversations have mostly died down. The queen seems amused by their interaction, although she's looking away. Jeonghan clears his throat. "I had a good night, Seungcheol. What about you?"

"Me too," Seungcheol says, his smile widening at him dropping the formalities. Jeonghan assumes that that smile is gonna make him give in to a lot of things in the future.

After the breakfast, the prince invites him to a walk in the garden, which Jeonghan accepts gratefully. He might as well enjoy some of the grace the palace has to offer on his stay here. He is surprised to see Mingyu, and another man he supposes is Seungcheol's guard, follow behind them at a distance. Is he always gonna be followed by Mingyu? That would not work in his favor..

"How do you feel?" Seungcheol asks as they enter the garden, its silence and placidity combined with the weather making it the perfect spot for a stroll, not to mention the outstanding architecture of the building and the craftsmanship that was put into the maintenance of the plants and trees.

Jeonghan takes a moment to consider the question. How does he feel? It's a complicated question to answer, a mixture of relief, hope and guilt all filling him up.

"Well," he starts, "everything is so new. I mean all my life I've been surrounded by the same people, living in the same place. And now..."

"Now you are to be married to the crown prince," he says, his grin emphasizing the pride also evident by his tone.

"Exactly..to say that it's been overwhelming would be an understatement for sure."

"Well," Seungcheol says after some moments of thinking, "is it good overwhelming or bad overwhelming?"

Jeonghan lets out a laugh at his almost child like question, "good overwhelming, definitely. And I couldn't be more grateful for what your family is doing for me."

"That's nothing, Hanni. Honestly, I would love to help all my people like this, in any way that I can. So even if you weren't going to be my wife, I would do my best if I knew someone out there was going through something like that."

But there are a lot of people going through things like this, Jeonghan thinks to himself. He's unsure as to whether voice this thought out, and decides to do so, because Seungcheol does seem to come from a sincere place.

"The people in capital...while it's true that they're doing well, I think it's the peripheral towns you should be worrying about. I don't know how many trips you have made there..."

"Not many," Seungcheol admits. "I know that most smaller towns aren't as well off, but I'm not sure where and how I can help them. My father.. he's been mostly occupied with matters regarding war and peace, so he's not as keen on focusing on this."

"I think the most important aspect is health," Jeonghan says. "I guess I talk from experience, but paying a healer in general costs so much, more than many people can afford."

Seungcheol nods in understanding, "I'll take that into consideration."

"Thank you, Seungcheol," Jeonghan says with a smile. Even if this...whatever this is, is obnoxious and he has no idea what it's gonna amount to, having some sort of influence on improving people's lives could be one good thing that comes out of it.

"Of course," Seungcheol says, mirroring his smile. They walk in silence for a few minutes, and it's peaceful. Jeonghan doesn't think he's ever experienced this kind of placidity before, and it especially hits home because of how hectic things have been for the past few months. But taking a stroll in the most glamorous garden, next to a man who promises him a better future for both his family and his people, does take his recent anguish away.

"What do you think of my siblings?" Seungcheol asks.

"They're really nice."

"I'm not sure nice would be the word I would use for Sanya, Hanni," he says with a roll of his eyes. "But yes, as she said, I'm glad she now has a young woman around."

"Right," Jeonghan nods his head.

"Sometimes we get together in the evenings to hang out. If you want to get to know everyone better, we could do that tonight as well."

That does sound nice. While Jeonghan fears being found out, he knows he can't hide from everyone throughout the next months. So it would be better to try an enjoy some company while he can.

"I would love that."

"Okay," Seungcheol says. "Unfortunately, that means I'll have to leave you to get over with my duties sooner."

"That's alright," Jeonghan says. He would appreciate some alone time anyway. "I can keep myself company."

With that, the prince leaves and Jeonghan finds himself in quiet after a while. He takes this chance to contemplate on everything. He has three months to get his hands on the cure and leave, and the king has already made promises of attaining it for him. Although trading with a kingdom like Sawol wouldn't be the simplest task, he doubts it would take longer than that. Even if it does, he can try to win the prince's favor, so as to postpone the wedding if he requests it. Perhaps he could bring up his sick mother, and claim that he can't get married without her there. That would be a good excuse, right?

The rest of the day passes by in the same calm way. Lunch is served at his room, and he takes a short nap to recover some of his still lost energy from all the travelling. Soon it's evening, and he is ready to go and meet the others. He's grateful for Mingyu, who also guided him to his room at noon. He leads the way one more time and says, "I believe you will enjoy yourself there, my lady."

"Oh? What makes you think that?"

"These nights are normally accompanied by games, and well, they can get quite competitive, which might be amusing for you."

"They? Do you mean the royal family?" Jeonghan asks.

"Everyone, actually."

"But who else is gonna be there?"

"Well, normally us guards would participate. But this night is for you, so if it would make you uncomfortable then.."

Jeonghan shakes his head no. He does not want to be the reason why the royal siblings don't get to hang out with their friends. Besides, more people means less attention on him, even if he is technically the main reason why they're holding this gathering tonight.

The room they enter is the coziest place Jeonghan has ever set foot in. Its mostly wooden design is beautifully lighten up by the fire, making the atmosphere welcoming and friendly. Everyone else has already arrived and is sitting on sofas around a table. Jeonghan can see a few faces he only caught a glimpse of before, namely Hansol and Jisoo, and another guard he supposes to be Sanya's. His name, as learns while he gets introduced to them, is Wonwoo.

"It's nice to have you here, noona," Seungkwan says with a warm smile.

"It really is," Sanya agrees. "I just know that you'll be on my sides when these fools start messing around."

"Oh no, what are we going to do now that Sanya has got an ally?" Jisoo says jokingly.

"To be honest, I was always on your side, Sany," Wonwoo says with a grin. Jeonghan is a little taken aback at how softspoken he is.

"That's only pretence," Sanya says with a pout, something the royal siblings seem to be professionas at. "It's because you're my supposed guard. At the end of the day you're still on their side."

The banter continues for a while, until eventually Hansol, seemingly the calmest and most levelheaded person in the room, brings out some cards and starts teaching Jeonghan the rules.

Admittedly, the game is confusing to him. With all the different colors and numbers and roles that each character takes. But even though Jeonghan isn't exactly sure what he is doing and whether he's doing anything right, he laughs alongside everyone else as a player gets an unfortunate pull or messes up a move. They're all kind and patient as they explain the rules whenever he doesn't get it completely right, and cheer him on whenever he does. So when at the last round he ends up becoming the winner, he's not sure whether they have taken it easy on him or not.

"I knew you had it in you!" Sanya exclaims.

"Nicely done, Hanni," Seungcheol says.

Jeonghan tries not to blush at the words. Regardless of whether he won on his own or by others letting him off the hook, he feels proud of his win.

"Be honest, noona," Seungkwan says. "You have played this game before haven't you?"

"Huh? No I haven't!" Jeonghan says.

"What games do you usually play at home?" Mingyu asks.

Jeonghan has to ponder that question for a few seconds. Games? He played them with his siblings when they were younger, but after Jiwan enlisted in the military, their dynamics kind of fell off. Not that he didn't enjoy his sisters' company, quite the opposite. But things changed after that, the atmosphere and everything. He started to focus on becoming a beauty consultant while his sister fell in love and got engaged. So their nights weren't filled with games anymore, but mostly talking about their days and things on their minds.

"We don't really play games anymore," he says, leaving out the part about his brother. "But when we did, we mostly played made up games with stickes and stones. Like who could throw a stone the farthest, or we would fight with sticks in our hands, pretending we were knights." Reminiscing about these days fills his heart with nostalgia. Things were so... uncomplicated back then. No sick parents, no brother miles away at military, and no pretending to be a woman to get married to the crown prince.

Wonwoo lets out a laugh at his examples. "Me and Mingyu used to be like that too! I guess play pretending with made up swords did turn us into knights of a sort."

"My knight in shining armour," Sanya says with a laugh.

"You two knew each other from childhood?" Jeonghan asks.

"It's a long story," Wonwoo says with a fond smile as he looks across the room at Mingyu.

"We used to be so close as kids," Mingyu explains. "Like you, we come from a smaller town. But then Wonwoo's family moved to the capital and we parted ways while we were still children."

"And you met each other again here?" Jeonghan guesses.

"Exactly," Mingyu replies, his big smile showing off his adorable fangs.

"I was originally supposed to become a door guard," Wonwoo says. "I got lucky that Sanya insisted on me becoming her personal guard instead."

"You weren't lucky," Sanya says. "Those other guys were all creeps. You were the only one I knew I could trust."

The rest of their evening passes in the same kind of chattering. Jeonghan tells them more about his family (minus his brother), and learns a few things about the others too. It's quite nice, getting to know people who don't come from the same background as him, and have different stories to tell.

Two hours into their gathering, they slowly start to disperse with both Seungkwan and Sanya leaving to their rooms. "I can accompany him to his chamber," the prince says to the remaining guards. "You guys can take a break. We'll be fine on our own."

"Are you sure, Cheol?" Jisoo asks, unconvinced.

"Yes, I am. I'm your boss in case you forgot, you listen to me," he says jokingly, making Jisoo roll his eyes.

"Is it really fine if I leave Miss Yoo alone on my first day of duty?" Mingyu says, his demeanor returning to the nervous one he had before the gathering started.

"It is if I say so," Seungcheol says impatiently. "I'll come get you both later, alright?"

Finally the guards relent, and the two get on their way.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Seungcheol says. "We should send your family an invitation. Have you already sent your family a letter?"

"Um..no," Jeonghan fidgets.

"Why not?"

"Well..." he starts but isn't sure what to say. "It's- I don't want them to think I've left them all alone to come here and enjoy myself while they're waiting for the cure. They think I've left to Sawol, so they don't expect news of me anyway."

"Still," Seungcheol says with a frown. "Shouldn't you let them know? I mean, my father told you he would look for the cure, so wouldn't that make your family happy?"

Jeonghan shakes his head. Why is the prince so stubborn? "They- I would rather just let them know once we have attained the cure. I believe this way would be better."

Seungcheol doesn't look convinced, but relents anyway. "Alright, I'll respect your decision. Even though I would love to meet my in-laws as soon as possible."

Jeonghan can't help but laugh at Seungcheol's pouty face. "Can't you be satisfied with just me?"

"Oh I am," Seungcheol says. Although he sounds amused, Jeonghan can detect a certain seriousness in it.

"Dinner will be served soon," he says. "If you aren't too tired, would you like to take a walk around the palace with me before that? There are more astonishing sceneries I would like you to see."

"I would love that," Jeonghan says, genuinely intrigued.

Seungcheol stays true to his word, and once more Jeonghan is left in awe at the beauty surrounding him as they take a stroll around the areas outside of the building. Unlike the darkness prominent in the streets of his hometown at this hour of night, these routes are full of colorful lights. Jeonghan wants to remain here forever. Again, he wishes he had his family by his side so they could also experience this.

"Beautiful, right?" Seungcheol says observing his reaction.

"It truly is. I've never seen anything like this. I mean, our town doesn't really have much light at night and yet here, there are so many. Of different colors too!"

"Yeah, it's something we have been working on for a while," Seungcheol says as they stop under a purple light, its color shining on both their features. "Soon, most of the towns will have enough lightning for people to stay out all night long if they want to, without needing any torches or other extra materials. I don't want people, especially women and children, to feel unsafe in the dark."

"That's really nice of you, Seungcheol," Jeonghan says, and he means it too. "You're a good prince, and you will make even a better king, I'm sure."

Seungcheol blushes at his words, and reaches to hold his hand as he says, "And I would be a very lucky king to have such a queen on my side." With his other hand, he tucks Jeonghan's fallen strand of hair away from his face, "you're really beautiful, have I told you that before?"

"No," Jeonghan whispers.

"You are, truly. It's... there's something so unique about your beauty. There is delicacy, but also more to it. Though I can't seem to quite figure out what it is."

Jeonghan doesn't know how to respond to that. Does this mean Seungcheol is on to him? Or does he genuinely find him attractive? His doubts, however, are swiped away as the prince utters the next few words.

"Can I kiss you, Hanni?"

Oh.

Jeonghan swallows. The intensity of Seungcheol's gaze makes him want to melt. He's looking at him so fondly, so passionately. Jeonghan simply can't reject.

"Yes, my prince," he utters softly. He waits, somehow expecting him to rush in and take what he wants. But Seungcheol doesn't. The fond look doesn't leave his eyes, instead it deepens as he brushes his hand through Jeonghan's hair before leaning in.

Jeonghan never thought his first kiss would be with a man. He always imagined how it would go, constantly daydreamed about a girl's soft lips against his own, as his holds her in his arms.

He never knew a man's lips could be this soft too. And that he'd be the one held.

The prince breaks the kiss after a few seconds and pulls back, his hand moving to brush Jeonghan's cheek, a smile blooming on his face.

Jeonghan isn't sure what to make of his beating heart.

Chapter Text

"Was that your first?" Seungcheol asks.

"Yes...it was," Jeonghan says softly, his heartbeat not slowing down despite the kiss ending seconds ago.

"Mine too."

His surprise must be evident on his features, because Seungcheol lets out a chuckle at his reaction and says, "what, you thought all the rumors about me never being with a lover were wrong?"

"Well, I... I don't know. But I thought that surely, you must have had a kiss by now."

He shakes his head, "no, I didn't want to waste it on just anybody. Wanted it to be with someone special."

Jeonghan blushes at his words, "okay Seungcheollie, I'm not that special you know. You've known me only for two days."

Seungcheol blinks, and Jeonghan shifts at his silence as he stares at him in bewilderment.

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

"You called me Seungcheollie."

"Oh." He did? "Sorry, it must've slip-"

"No, it's cute, hearing it from you," he says with a grin. "You went from insisting on calling my title to giving me a nickname. I like that."

These words are helping neither his still fast beating heart nor the blush on his face that darkens by second.

"Shall we go to dinner?" Seungcheol asks. "I assume my parents will want to get to know you more."

Right.

It's going to be alright, Jeonghan thinks. He has already got his story straight, he had plans of going to Sawol on his own, which is partly true, and he only has two sisters. With everything else he can be honest.

Luckily this time, the king and queen aren't as interrogative as they were at breakfast, instead more laid back and relaxed as they try to get to know Jeonghan's personality better. Nothing he can't answer, so he relaxes a bit, and lets himself fall into the female persona he's crafted for himself. It's not really difficult, considering his true personality and character don't deviate much from what is expected from a woman. If anything, he would sometimes overhear his townspeople calling him "too soft for a man", expecting him to be more dominant and assertive. But Jeonghan knows that's not who he truly is. And thankfully, staying true to himself made this whole matter much easier to handle.

What he's not sure he can handle, is what the queen tells the royal siblings next.

"Your cousin is coming over tomorrow."

Everyone, except Jeonghan, seems to light up at this. He doesn't know anything about this cousin, but they must be so adored by the siblings to induce this reaction.

"He did say he wants to be here as soon as hyung chooses a woman!"

"Jihoon is gonna come too, right?" Seungcheol asks, his dimples signifying his excitement.

"I doubt he would let Soonyoung go anywhere alone. He's practically his guard at this point," Sanya says. She must really adore them, given the lack of teasing remarks on her side.

As for Jeonghan...even more people for him to meet? Perhaps that's a given, with him being part of the actual royal family now, but Jeonghan wishes he could get a breath for a second. More strangers means more people he has to convince, and maybe it's his paranoid mind speaking, but as the number of the people he has to trick rises, so does the risk of him being found out. Who knows if these people will also be as welcoming to him as the immediate royal family?

"Soonyoung and Jihoon are my oldest friends. We practically grew up together, since they were here even before Kwannie and Sany," Seungcheol explains to him. "Jihoon is the son of my father's advisor, and he lives with Soonyoung for now, but I'm thinking of appointing him as my advisor once I'm the king."

An advisor, of all people. He must be a cunning person given how much trust Seungcheol puts into him. Jeonghan only hopes this Jihoon person doesn't scrutinize him when they meet.

Later that night, Seungcheol accompanies him to his room despite the protests of their guards. Jeonghan assumes he gives them a hard time on a daily basis, with how stubborn he seems to be. Though at the end of the day, they seem to be too fond of the crown prince to be truly agitated.

"I can't wait for you to meet Soonyoung and Jihoon!" he exclaimes as they reach his chamber, "I'm sure they're going to like you just as everyone else does."

"I hope so," he whispers, trying to conceal his nerves. It's been a long day, and he has yet to let everything sink in. As much as he enjoys Seungcheol's company, he hopes to get in bed soon and get some well deserved rest. He has to mentally prepare himself for the arrival of the guests too.

"By the way, which towns would you like to visit first?"

"Huh?" Towns? "What do you mean?"

"Well," Seungcheol starts, his face showing signs of bewilderment at Jeonghan's ignorance, "as my betrothal, you have to accompany me on trips to various towns so that the people can meet their future queen."

"Oh." Great. "Um, which towns do you have in mind? You must be familiar with the central ones."

"I am," he says, "I would say those that are politically significant should be our priority. There are many important people there. But I fear they would bore you a bit."

Jeonghan bites his lips. All he wants is some rest, and the thought of planning trips that are vital to their image makes his head spin.

"Could we...could we perhaps decide on that later?"

Seungcheol doesn't give an answer right away, probably torn between prioritising his princely duties or Jeonghan's desire. Jeonghan decides to expand on that. "It would be an honor to be in public by your side, Cheollie," the nickname comes easily to his tongue, as he searches ways to convince the prince, "however, I think it's best to do it when I'm in a more prepared state? I mean, I'm still adjusting to the royal life and all..."

He watches as understanding sets on Seungcheol's features. The prince nods and says, "I can see what you mean. You're right, a little more time for you to adjust and familiarise yourself with things wouldn't hurt."

Jeonghan smiles in relief. He blinks a few times as he steps closer to Seungcheol until they're only a feet apart. "What's more... I would like to familiarise myself more with you as well."

"Oh?" Seungcheol says with an arch of his eyebrow. Those eyebrows again. "And how would you do that, Hanni?"

"I got a few ideas," he says, biting his lips. He watches as Seungcheol's eyes lower to them, and without a moment of hesitation, he puts them on Seungcheol's.

The kiss is different this time. While their first lasted only a few seconds in a gentle manner, their second is more passionate and doesn't stop right away. Seungcheol's hands creep to his neck and stay there, firm and tingling with his hair. And when he finds himself chasing after Seungcheol's lips more and more upon each parting, he isn't sure that he's doing this merely to win Seungcheol's favor anymore.

Eventually Seungcheol pulls away, his eyes radiating a sort of fire Jeonghan has never seen before. He wonders whether his own eyes are filled with the same energy, whether Seungcheol also notices his rapid breathing and heartbeat.

"It's late, Hanni," Seungcheol says. His deep voice and fixed eyes on Jeonghan make him shiver a little. "You should probably go to bed."

He nods and attempts to step back, but it's not before Seungcheol plants a soft kiss on his forehead that he lets Jeonghan go. The contrast between the tender peck and the fervent kisses they exchanged a moment ago gives Jeonghan whiplash, and he's left with widened eyes as the prince leaves.

The next morning is rather uneventful, and Jeonghan would consider it almost peaceful if his mind wasn't so occupied. He has yet to hear anything else about the search for the cure, and the guests are to arrive for lunch. Nevertheless, he spends the morning getting to know the palace better, learning his way throughout the various chambers.

By the time he's called for lunch, the guests have arrived and he gets to meet them. He watches as the royal siblings hug their cousin and friend with warm smiles, as if they haven't met for a year (Seungkwan told him they met each other in the early summer, so barely three months ago). Jihoon and Soonyoung seem to be very different from one another, with Soonyoung radiating so much (maybe too much, Jeonghan thinks to himself) energy as he flashes a wide smile at everyone in the room, including Jeonghan. He is loud is his greetings, and almost frantically expresses his happiness in meeting him. Jihoon, on the other hand, is nowhere as vibrant as his companion. He is calm and gentle as he greets everyone, but Jeonghan notices his lips twitching up each time he hugs one of the siblings. When greeting him, Jihoon isn't exactly cold per say, but he retains a certain politeness that Jeonghan assumes is his professional persona. Jeonghan greets him with a slight bow of his head, and tries to keep his features simultaneously calm and confident. Luckily, Jihoon's gaze doesn't linger on him much and he can let out a breath of relief as they go to sit at the table.

The royal family catches up with Soonyoung and Jihoon, and ask them about the recent matters in their town, all of which Jeonghan is completely ignorant about. So he gets lost in his mind and loses track of the conversation while he eats what is on his plate. It's only when the king clears his throat and calls out his name that he raises his head, alarmed.

"I talked with the minister, and we have come up with a plan for acquiring the cure. What you're looking for is very rare, Hanni. It will require a lot of research as the team will have to search the forests in order to find the plant. And you're in luck that it's just autumn, because by winter all traces of it might be lost."

Jeonghan swallows at the king's words. "Does this mean that we could find it before the wedding? I would um, I would really appreciate it if my mother could be healthy and present by then," he says, keeping his voice small.

"That could be possible," the king says after a moment of consideration.

"Even if it doesn't happen by then," Seungcheol speaks up as he puts a hand on Jeonghan's, "we could postpone the wedding until it does, right?"

Jeonghan's heart warms at the prince's words and his consideration. He looks up at him, and is met with a reassuring smile before they both turn to the king and queen to await their answer.

But they don't look pleased, and the queen is frowning as she says, "I don't know, Cheol. It's important to hold the wedding as soon as possible. Even three months is too much waiting already. We only decided on three months for your sake."

"But it's her mother," he says firmly, "she should be able to have her mother by her side on her wedding night. Would you be able to miss Sanya's wedding night?"

"Not that I would ever have a wedding night," Jeonghan hears Sanya murmur beside him.

"Fine," the queen says, apparently convinced by the prince's argument, "but you better tell your researchers to move fast. We don't want to waste any time," she says to her husband.

"Sorry, what is this all about?" Soonyoung asks with a confused look. They give him a curt explanation, and Soonyoung gives him a considerate look as he says, "I hope everything works out, Miss Hanni." His voice is the gentlest that Jeonghan has heard so far. He thanks him with a smile, and looks over at Jihoon. This time, however, the man's gaze is cold, and sceptical.

After the breakfast, they go to the garden to catch up more with one another. Soonyoung, as it turns out, isn't just popular among the royal siblings but their guards as well. They speak of matters mostly unfamiliar to Jeonghan once more, so it's easy for him to get lost in his thoughts again, although the atmosphere is warm and filled with laughters and smiles. He can tell they all genuinely enjoy each other's company, and he wishes he could truly become a permanent part of their dynamic.

But there is no way for that to happen.

After walking for a while, they reach a large pond in the garden which Jeonghan hasn't seen before. Its water is as clear as the sky, and if it wasn't for the group's loud chattering, he would find it a peaceful place for rest. But before Jeonghan can comprehend what is happening, Soonyoung turns to him with a quick wink and an evil smile, and the next thing he knows, Seungcheol is splashed in the face with water.

"Soonyoung! What the hell!" he yells.

Soonyoung's laughter fills the air and to Jeonghan's surprise, everyone else joins. Soon, the garden is filled with laughter and screams. It's like a war breaks as they start chasing one another like literal children. Jeonghan only stares in astonishment, with the only person not joining their shenanigans being Jihoon.

While everyone's busy playing around with water, Jeonghan sees Jihoon's presence approaching him slowly. This isn't good, he thinks, what could he possibly want?

"Miss Yoo Hanni, am I right?"

Jeonghan gulps as they stare at one another, "yes?"

"It must be nice becoming a part of the royal family overnight, isn't it?"

"Um...sure. That was the point of the ball, wasn't it? To find a betrothal for the prince."

Jihoon lets out a dry laugh, "the ball...that was really not a bright idea. How can the future queen of the kingdom be selected through such a ridiculous event?"

Jeonghan stares at him with an open mouth. How can he so blatantly insult not only Jeonghan, but the whole royal family?!

"I just don't get why everyone is so eager about you. The king and queen have been so desperate about getting Seungcheol a wife that they haven't even considered what kind of a person you are."

"Jihoon-ssi, I-"

"What's stopping you from leaving Seungcheol all alone after acquiring that cure? I mean, you're not well off, so you might as well stay for his money, but Seungcheol hyung deserves better than that. He deserves someone who truly cares for him and if only the king and queen had given him some more time, perhaps he would've met the right person."

"What, Jihoon-ssi, makes you so sure that I'm not the right person for him?" Jeonghan tries to keep his voice steady to defend his position. He doesn't need Jihoon to like him, the royal siblings (and now Soonyoung) have that covered. But he needs Jihoon to be at least neutral to eliminate any obstacles standing in his way.

"No one falls in love with a person within a day," he scoffs, "you especially wouldn't have even looked his way had he not been a prince now, would you?"

Jeonghan takes a moment to consider this. Would he not care for Seungcheol, had he met him in another setting? He doesn't know much about the prince himself, but according to what he's seen so far, Seungcheol is...

Seungcheol is caring. It's particularly important to him what those around him need in life, and does whatever he can to provide for them. And while that could possibly be a side effect of his role as the crown prince, Jeonghan does appreciate these traits in any person, regardless of their status. Would he have dressed up as a woman to get married to him? No. Would he consider gaining his friendship? Absolutely.

And while Jeonghan hates any sort of confrontation and conflict, he knows he needs to stand his ground.

"Jihoon-ssi," Jeonghan says, "you have met me only today. You certainly don't know the kind of person that I am. You can't make baseless assumptions like this, just because you are protective of him."

Jihoon is nowhere near happy with this response, as is evident by the way he pokes his cheek with his tongue, but he stays quiet and lets Jeonghan continue.

"I appreciate that you want my husband to be to have a compatible wife who will make him happy. But I promise you, though I don't have to prove myself to anyone other than the prince himself, that I can be as a good as a wife as any other woman you could have in mind. You'll just have to wait and see. I won't just bear him kids, I will also take care of him and provide him support while he aquires the crown."

That's it, he thinks to himself, just lie, you don't need to be so selfless, the only person that matters is your mother and your family.

"Alright," Jihoon relents, though his expression isn't that of complete satisfaction, "I'll put my faith in you for now. And I hope you'll keep your word. But don't think I'm letting you off easily‌. As you said, you have to prove yourself to Seungcheol."

Before Jeonghan can add anything, they're interrupted by a splash of water aimed at Jihoon. The culprit, is of course, none other than Soonyoung.

"C'mon Hoonie, don't just stand there!"

Jihoon lets out a groan as he leaves Jeonghan to go to Soonyoung. He is grateful for the space, but doesn't get a chance to get lost in his mind again when Sanya screams his name out for help against the men surrounding her.

When they're done playing, they return to their chambers to dry off (luckily Jeonghan managed to avoid getting wet, nothing more than a few drops of water). Jeonghan is grateful to be served lunch at his room, where he can lock his door, relax a little and take his disguise off for a few minutes. A few hours later, he gets called for afternoon tea with the others, and is surprised to find Jisoo at his door instead of Mingyu.

"Mingyu's at Seungcheol's chamber," Jisoo says with a sheepish smile on his face, "so he sent me to get you instead. I hope you don't mind?"

"Oh, of course not," Jeonghan replies, mirroring his smile, "thank you for accompanying me, Jisoo-ssi."

"You don't need to be formal with me though. Just call me Jisoo."

"Okay," Jeonghan replies, "only if you agree to do the same."

He expects the guard to refuse, but to his surprise, he only lets out a chuckle and nods his head in agreement.

"So how do you like it here so far? Are things too overwhelming?" Jisoo asks as they get on their way.

"It...kind of is, to be completely honest."

"I get that," Jisoo says, "it's not really easy fitting in the royal life right away. Sometimes the royal family might not understand that, as they're used to it. But for us normal folk it's a different story."

Jeonghan hums, and Jisoo gives him a reassuring smile, "don't worry too much about it though, you're doing a good job. Seungcheol seems to be so head over heels for you."

He blushes at the words, and thanks him for his kind reassurance. Soon they reach their destination and enter.

No one except Seungkwan and Hansol have arrived yet. The room, however, has a certain tension in it, as if they've just interrupted something. Jeonghan doesn't know what to make of it, maybe they had a fight? Or maybe they were discussing something important?

Jisoo doesn't seem to find anything weird though, and he greets them with his usual bright smile which dispersers any hint of tension in the room.

"Hi, hyung, hi noona," Seungkwan says, his usual cheerful demeanour nowhere to be found. Jeonghan wants to ask about it, but decides against it after seeing Hansol avoiding their eyes. It must be something private.

"Hi Kwannie," Jeonghan says, the nickname coming easy to him after doing it several times to the first prince. "How is your day going?"

He must have somehow asked the right question, because Seungkwan's face lights up with a smile, "it's been okay, it's really nice to have Soonyoung and Jihoon around again. It gets boring without them," he says with a pout.

"Are you calling us boring, Seungkwan?" Jisoo asks with a teasing tone.

"Just you, hyung, not noona," he answers. "Wait, why are you with noona and not Mingyu hyung?"

"Mingyu and Seungcheol were busy together," Jisoo says with a roll of his eyes, "can't even attend to my duties properly in this palace."

"Right," Vernon says, the first time he speaks up, though still averting his eyes.

The look Seungkwan gives him makes the matter even more baffling to Jeonghan, and therefore he can't hold himself back.

"Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine," Vernon says dryly, returning the look Seungkwan is giving him, "just a minor disagreement on something."

"I'm sure you guys will handle it appropriately," Jisoo says somewhat pointedly, as if wanting to dissolve the issue before it escalates, or maybe in front of Jeonghan.

So he doesn't comment on it anymore, and thankfully they don't have to stay in awkward silence for long as the door opens and Soonyoung and Jihoon alongside Sanya and Wonwoo enter. It takes a bit more for Seungcheol and Mingyu to arrive.

"What took you so long?" Soonyoung exclaims, "we've been waiting for hours!"

"It was a matter of minutes, you drama queen," Jihoon says.

Seungcheol gives them a smile but to Jeonghan's surprise, remains silent. Soon they're served tea, and the earlier tension of the room long disperses. Although Jihoon doesn't give him any more cold glances, he still keeps his distance and doesn't indulge him as much as the others do, which is fine by Jeonghan. It's not like he is going to be by their side forever,

Even though he secretly wants to.

It seems like Seungcheol is trying to make a habit of accompanying Jeonghan to his room at least once a day, because that's exactly what he opts to do after tea. Despite Mingyu's pouty face being obvious, given that he didn't get to accompany his lady earlier either, he doesn't protest this time. He has given up, Jeonghan assumes.

"You could have let Mingyu come with me this time, you know. Poor boy looked like a kicked puppy," Jeonghan says while they're on their way.

"I would," Seungcheol replies a bit solemnly, "but he was sharing a matter regarding you with me."

"What- what matter?" Jeonghan says as his heartbeat quickens. It's not that he's been found out, he wouldn't be standing right here as if everything is alright if he was. Did Mingyu notice something strange?

"He said while we were play fighting with water, Jihoon and you were talking, and that you seemed uncomfortable. Did anything happen, Hanni?"

"Oh," he says, dumbfounded. Is he supposed to tell him the truth?

He decides to do that. It's better if Seungcheol hears of Jihoon's suspicions from Jeonghan himself, in his own words.

"Well...it seems like Jihoon-ssi isn't really fond of the idea of you choosing a woman overnight, of the whole idea of the ball."

Seungcheol lets out a sigh, "we have discussed this before, and he already expressed his dissatisfaction. He didn't need to say anything to you."

"Looks like you have chosen a rather stubborn advisor," Jeonghan says jokingly, though he does believe in it.

"Jihoon... he- he gets too protective sometimes, gets too much in his head worrying about all the scenarios that could go wrong. I get that that's part of his duties, but I really wish he would take it easy sometimes. Like when I have put my mind to marrying the woman I chose."

"You have?" Jeonghan asks shyly.

"Um, yes?" Seungcheol looks at him in confusion, "of course I have. Do you somehow doubt me?"

"No," Jeonghan replies in a soft voice, "it just... Jihoon-ssi didn't sound pleased at all."

"Well he doesn't know you," he says as he comes to a halt and holds Jeonghan's hands, "and maybe you would argue that I don't know you either, but you've already given me so much advice, haven't you? You have given me insight on the common people's lives in a way that I could never gain on my own."

"Why not?" Jeonghan asks with a questioning tilt of his head, thumbs brushing Seungcheol's hands.

"How could I do that? If I randomly go into towns and asks people about the conditions of their lives, they'll just straight up lie out of fear."

"Well," Jeonghan says after a moment of thinking. "Why don't you simply, dress up as a commoner?"

"Huh?" The look of bafflement on Seungcheol's face makes Jeonghan laugh. "I mean... I guess I could? I don't know why it never crossed my mind."

"Why? Too scandalous to dress up normally for once?" Jeonghan says with a teasing roll of his eyes.

"No," Seungcheol says with a pout and a blush. Gosh.

"Oh by the way," Jeonghan says with a genuine, soft smile, "thank you for standing up for me at breakfast today. It meant a lot to me."

"Of course, Hanni," Seungcheol says, brushing his arms gently, "I will always have your best interest at heart as much as I can. I promise you that."

It's so easy for Jeonghan, more than he'd like to admit, to get lost again in the soft eyes and adorable dimples of the crown prince. He doesn't know what to think of it. He simply can't think anything of it. It's probably the kind words and actions the prince has shown him so far, he thinks to himself. It's the way he has provided him with a security he hasn't been able to feel for months. Any normal person, would also feel at least a bit of affection and attachment to such a person. It would definitely be unrealistic not to.

So as Seungcheol once again bids him goodbye with a "see you at dinner" and a warm embrace, Jeonghan tells himself that again. That anyone in his place, would feel the same warmth and safety in the arms of the prince. That it's totally ordinary for him to be missing the protective arms around him, craving them back mere seconds after they part.

Chapter Text

A few weeks pass, and Jeonghan is surprised at how simple it is for him to manage to find his place in the royal life. After ascertaining that no one (including Jihoon) will doubt his gender, he can be at peace, without feeling he's constantly walking on eggshells. Life as a royal is nowhere as challenging and, dare he say, backbreaking as life as a commoner. And while it's an obvious fact everyone's aware of, the knowledge of it is nothing like experiencing it firsthand. Food comes to him in abundance, there's no responsibility of household chores, and he is free to spend his time however he wants. Though he knows that this lifestyle wouldn't remain the same if he really were to become the queen and the mother to Seungcheol's children. Growing up in a family with four kids, he saw what it took to raise a child, and the amount of effort his mother put into their upbringing. And while it is true that a queen wouldn't necessarily do any of the ordinary day-to-day tasks and might even leave many of the childcare chores to the nurses, he highly doubts that a dutiable mother would have it easy anywhere in the world.

As he spends most of his days with the royal family and their friends, he gets the chance to become closer to them. Sanya is fully at ease with him, having been fully convinced that Jeonghan, as "the only other woman of the group", is totally on her side against the tyrants that are the men. Jeonghan is both penitent and amused by this, so he doesn't let her down and does indeed support her whenever the others get too mischievous with their teasings and pranks.

With Seungcheol being occupied a lot with his duties, it's Seungkwan who seeks out his company the most. "He really looks up to you," Seungcheol tells him one day. "Me?" Jeonghan exclaims, "why would he look up to me?!"

"You're the kind of person he strives to be when it comes to being a royal. You're so attentive to commoners, and treat the servants with utmost respect."

That's the bare minimum, Jeonghan thinks to himself. But he's grateful that he can become some sort of a role model and set an example to the younger prince. He genuinely enjoys his company, and loves their affinity in humor. It is easy to make the boy crackle with the smallest things, sometimes even to the point of snorting. And Jeonghan enjoys nothing more than sharing laughter with someone.

Their cousin prince, namely Soonyoung, is someone he was weary of at first, but ended up really adoring. Though the boy is adamant in his fierce "tiger-like features" (declared by only Soonyoung himself and no one else) as a competent prince, it's hard for Jeonghan to see him as anything other than a squishy being he'd love to pamper and coo at daily. Soonyoung and Seungkwan, he thinks to himself, really make up for the younger brothers he never had.

The guards mostly seem to be fond of him as well, their similar backgrounds in being ordinary townspeople makes their friendship more tangible and light. He is grateful to have Mingyu by his side. With his cheerful demeanour and positive attitude to almost everything in life, it's hard to be overcome by worries and nonstop thoughts about the future.

That leaves him with Jihoon. He doesn't know if Seungcheol said anything to him after their conversation or not, but he wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. As time passes, Jihoon becomes gradually less and less cold and reserved towards him. He still doesn't treat him nowhere near the way he treats his friends, but he never outright ignores or avoids Jeonghan. Their relationship is civil, and that's enough.

The only thing that bothers Jeonghan, is that things are still not quite right between Seungkwan and Hansol after that day.

He is sure of it. Even though he had only been there for two days, that sufficed for him to get a grasp of the friendship between the two. He remembers the fond looks they would share at the ball, and how Jeonghan mistook them for friends, as he was yet unaware of the royal's closeness to their guards. Things changed though, the fond eyes turned nonchalant, and so did the soft words they would share with one another. But despite the cold atmosphere, he can spot how they occasionally throw cautious glances at one another when the other isn't looking, and it's enough proof that whatever happened to them isn't a big deal, most likely a disagreement or misunderstanding.

Technically, it's not Jeonghan's business. He won't even be around these people in a few months. So it would be wise to ignore any drama that doesn't coordinate with his plans. But something about Seungkwan losing his earlier bright features more and more, while trying to cover it with fake smiles and pretences, doesn't sit well with Jeonghan at all. Even if his whole identity here isn't real and authentic, his adoration for the younger, and everyone around him definitely is. So it all complicates his thoughts even more so when one day at supper Seungkwan runs into an argument with his parents. Sure, Seungkwan is feisty and stubborn, but he is never downright disobedient nor does he disdain his elders.

The issue at hand wasn't anything serious to begin with. Seungkwan had to leave earlier to attend to some matters, and he dismissed Hansol when he wanted to rightfully accompany him. 

"Of course I must come with you," Hansol says with furrowed eyebrows, his voice mixed with a sense of reproach, "It doesn't matter if it's not going to take long. I'm your guard and I must be there with you."

"I said I'm fine, Hansol," Seungkwan says with a roll of his eyes. Although he has been clearly irritable recently- with a failing attempt to hide it- he never expressed his contempt so blatantly.

"He has a point, son. A strong one at that," the king says, his tone firm, leaving no place for argument. "You will be accompanied by your guard everywhere, as that is his duty. If you have complaints, you can ask for your guard to be changed."

The room is stunned into silence, and the tension grows thicker as everyone awaits Seungkwan's response with held breaths. Even Jeonghan, whose knowledge of these people narrows down to a time span of a few weeks, is aware that this is an outlandish suggestion to make. Each of the royals are on great terms with their guards, but it's strongly the case for Seungkwan and Hansol.

Seungkwan blinks as he looks back and forth between his father and guard. Jeonghan swears he can detect a hint of a dark red appearing on Hansol's face.

"What's the matter, Kwan? You're normally inseparable from Hansol," the queen says with a frown as she looks at her son in apprehension, her tone gentler compared to the king. "Did you two have a quarrel?"

She is met with more silence, with both boys adverting their eyes and refusing to provide an answer. Finally, after a few seconds Seungkwan murmurs, "It's nothing, mother," before softly adding, "let's just go, Sollie." The nickname brings relief to Jeonghan and he can finally breathe. It's a sign of relenting, that hopefully this confrontation on his parents' part will diminish Seungkwan's stubbornness.

He decides to bring this up to Seungkwan later that day. But first, he mentions it to Seungcheol since as his older brother, surely he would be aware of something. Seungcheol only grimly shakes his head and says, "I know something is up between him and Hansol, it's obvious. But...my younger siblings they...almost never really open up to me."

Jeonghan frowns. Why wouldn't they? Seungcheol is always attentive to those around him, and makes sure they don't have any needs.

"When it comes to dealing with matters of emotions, I have to admit I'm not the best person to go to. My mindset is to try to find a solution for things, but sometimes my siblings just want someone they can speak with, rather than someone who frantically wants to fix everything," he says with a dry chuckle, "so I think they prefer to keep to themselves, because they don't really want me to intervene. But it's difficult for me to avoid doing that, to not get involved when someone I love is in distress."

"Have you," Jeonghan says cautiously, "have you tried to be a brother to them?"

"What do you mean?" Seungcheol asks in confusion.

"Well you always rush to solve everything because that's what's expected of you as the crown prince. But as an older brother, you're not expected to always be the one who fixes all the issues. You're just someone your younger siblings can lean on. Sometimes, the issues at hand can go away on their own, but at the end your siblings will remember how you were there for them when they needed you, rather than completely avoiding the matter altogether." That's how Jiwan always was, he thinks to himself, he couldn't get rid of all our hardships and pains, but he always held our hands through them all.

"I... I'll try," Seungcheol says, his expression both thankful and considerate. "Though I think I'll sit this one out. He seems pretty upset and, I highly doubt he'll want to talk to me about it." There is the pout again.

"Hm...so how about I do it?"

"That's a good idea. I think he would like that."

So he takes matters into his own hands, and shows up at Seungkwan's door that night.

"Noona?" Seungkwan says with a warm smile, "what brings you here?"

"Hey, Kwannie, can I come inside?"

"Sure," he says as they both enter his chamber. It's not the first time Jeonghan sets foot here, having spent a few nights in the room chatting with Seungkwan until it got a bit too late. They sit down, and Jeonghan prepares himself for what's coming, and can only hope that Seungkwan doesn't push him away.

"So...you seemed pretty upset today, at breakfast," he says, and watches carefully as Seungkwan's face falls as he grasps the reason for Jeonghan's appearance. He doesn't object right away, which Jeonghan takes as a good sign and continues, "do you want to share with noona why that is?"

He lets out a sigh, it sounds so exhausted, as if he's tired of fighting a tiring battle. Him and Hansol have been at it for so long, everyone would've thought that they'd be over it by now.

"We...we just have a misunderstanding, is all."

"This misunderstanding must he really significant if it's tearing you apart like this. How about you tell me what it is, and maybe I can help you?"

Seungkwan shakes his head, "you can't help." His voice is shaky, as if he's choking up.

"Kwannie," Jeonghan says with a soft voice, concerned at his distressed state. That seems to cause Seungkwan to break, and he breaks into tears. "Oh, Kwannie," Jeonghan rushes to pull him in a hug. "Even if I can't help you, would you please let me know? It's hurting me so much to see you like this."

More sobs tear out of the boy as he shakes in his arms. "It's- he just won't listen to me, noona. I want to- I want to live an honest life, I don't want to hide myself from anyone, especially not from Seungcheol hyung. But- but-" he breaks off, his sobs so strong that he barely has the chance to breathe. Jeonghan can do nothing but pet his hair in confusion. "What do you mean, Seungkwan? Why can't you be yourself? What is it that you want to say to Cheol?"

"God, I shouldn't tell you any of this," Seungkwan says in between crying, "Sollie will kill me. You're practically his wife and I'm spilling out everything like a moron. But... but I can't take this anymore, noona. It's- it's been too much."

Jeonghan frowns at the boy. What is so horrendous that is causing him this much pain? What secret could he possibly be holding on to?

"Kwannie..." Jeonghan starts, voice so gentle as if talking to a crying child, "you should tell me what's bothering you. If you're worried about Cheollie, I promise you I won't tell him a word," he thens tsks before continuing, "I swear on my mother's life."

That gets a reaction out of Seungkwan, he sniffs as he looks at Jeonghan, eyes hopeful but still hesitant, "y-you do?"

He nods, and Seungkwan sits up straight, and stutters without looking at Jeonghan, "I...I..."

It's as if the words are stuck in and he can't let them out. Jeonghan gently wipes away the tears on his face, before giving him an encouraging smile, "it's okay, Kwannie. Go on."

Seungkwan then takes a breath in, before mumbling in a flash, "Iminlovewithhansol."

Jeonghan tilts his head in confusion at this. Did he hear that correctly? "I know you love Hansol. You are best friends."

"No we're not!" Seungkwan insists, as if frustrated, "noona he is... I don't love him as a friend, I'm in love with him! As in, I don't want to get married to a woman and have children with her. I want to spend my whole life with him, with Hansol."

This doesn't take away any of Jeonghan's bafflement. What in the world is Seungkwan talking about? "You mean...you like him the way you would like a woman?"

Seungkwan slowly nods and stays quiet. 

"Kwannie.... I'm sure you must be confused. You've spent so much time with him, while never acquiring a betrothed, so that must have complicated things and-"

"I am not confused," Seungkwan interrupts. The look on his face, almost reproachful, makes Jeonghan blink at him in surprise. He's never looked at him this way before, has never been anything but admiration and gentle. Now... now he looks betrayed, and Jeonghan hates it more than anything, hates the fact that he's the one causing it. "We, are not confused. I love him, and he loves me. We've been on the same page for years and...and we, well, we're in a relationship. A romantic one," he mumbles the last part, and Jeonghan has to hold back from gasping. Two men? In a romantic relationship?

He remains quiet as he tries to grasp the meaning of all this. Hansol instead of a woman? Jeonghan doesn't quite understand, so he doesn't really know how to react, at least not in a way that prevents Seungkwan from getting more upset. His silence seems to come off as a sign of judgement to Seungkwan, because the boy's eyes quickly fill up with more tears again, "noona, please say something! Please believe me when I say I know what my emotions are. And, I beg you, please don't try to change me or my relationship with Hansol. You can't do that. No one can. Not even...not even father or hyung."

Jeonghan leans in wordlessly to wipe away the tears once more, amazed at the determination in Seungkwan's words. He is willing to stand up to the king and the crown prince? That's how dedicated he is to this?

Despite not knowing what to think of this all, he would do anything to stop Seungkwan from crying. "Kwannie, I.." he trails off, then takes in a breath to put his thoughts in order, "why are you so worried about telling Cheol?" 

Seungkwan lets out a dry laugh, "noona, he's the future king. I can't simply declare to the future king that I, his younger brother and the second prince of the kingdom, am in love and would want to marry a man. Well...at least according to Hansol I can't."

Jeonghan frowns at his words. What is he implying? "Are you...are you afraid about his reaction and the power that he holds? Surely, you don't really believe that he would use that against you? Kwannie he is your brother first and crown prince second-"

"I know," Seungkwan replies in frustration, "that's what I'm telling Hansol too, that he's my brother, that even if he is disgusted by me, he wouldn't hurt me. Worst thing he would possibly do is banishment. And that's something I would rather get than living here in secrecy and fear."

Would Seungcheol really do that? Banish his own younger brother because he is ..is in love with his guard? Jeonghan doesn't think so. Sure, his younger siblings might not have the best impressions of him regarding emotional matters, but that shouldn't be enough for them to believe that he would abandon them with ease?

"That's why you two have been quarreling?" he asks.

Seungkwan nods, "yes. He says his duty is to protect me, and he can't do that if Seungcheol hyung knows our secret. And Sanya agrees with him too..."

"Wait, Sanya knows too?!"

"Um...," he says, "yeah..and, kind of everyone else, well except mother and father of course."

Jeonghan stares at him, dumbfounded. So everyone, including Jeonghan himself now, knows but Seungcheol?!

"I have a feeling that this is going to bother him more than anything else, Kwannie."

Seungkwan chuckles, and the sound makes Jeonghan a little less tense. He nods with a sniffle, "you're right, noona. That's what I think too."

Jeonghan takes a few moments to reflect on everything, and then says, "Kwannie, I'm almost certain that Cheollie wouldn't react in the way you fear. I have an idea to test it, but first I need you to tell me how anonymous you can be if you want to ask for favors?"

Seungkwan frowns at his words, "what do you mean? I um, I think I can be pretty anonymous, especially if I can get help from Hansol since he can blend in with the crowd well. But what do you need a favor for?"

He grins, "well you know how we're going on a trip next week? My idea is...."

***

Jeonghan decides to bring up their trip the next morning at breakfast. Seungcheol had fortunately given him some time, which gave him the perfect opportunity to put his plans to work and help Seungkwan out. He winks at him, before mentioning it. As expected, Seungcheol is exhilarated, and would love nothing more than to show off his betrothed to the people.

The king, however, shakes his head and says, "I'm afraid you two have to wait a few more days for that. We have important guests coming over tomorrow."

"Who?" Seungcheol asks.

"From the military. Apparently, they have crucial news to share with us, Captain Jung Changho specifically, alongside his first lieutenant Yoon Jiwan."

The food Jeonghan was trying to swallow is caught in his throat, and he frantically starts coughing as he tries to gulp down the water passed to him.

His brother will be here?!

Chapter Text

His brother will be here?!

"Hanni, are you okay?" he hears Seungcheol's startled voice while he's trying to catch his breath.

"Y-yes." No, no he's not. What the hell is he supposed to do now? Hide in his room until they're gone?

"Actually, their timing is quite appropriate," the king continues, "as people of high rank and respect, it's vital for them to get to know the future queen."

Great. Just great. He curses his brother for being so magnificent at his job. But he can only affirm and flash fake smiles, while searching for ways to avoid any interactions with his brother in the upcoming days.

The most practical solution he comes up with, after hours of frantically thinking about it, is simply faking sickness. How hard could it be? If he feigns a contagious illness, it would be enough excuse to lock himself in his room. It's not like the guests will stay that long anyway, they have duties to attend to. 

So that's how later that day he finds himself laying down on his bed, with Sanya and the royal healer right next to him.

"You seemed okay this morning," Sanya murmurs with a frown, "did you already have symptoms and didn't tell us, unnie?"

He blinks. Sanya sounds genuinely concerned, and Jeonghan would hate to worry her like this when he's perfectly fine, and is merely trying to make up a lie to keep his other, more major lie intact. But before guilt can eat him up, he responds, "yeah, I felt a little dizzy this morning too."

"You do seem perfectly fine, Miss Yoo," the healer says with a nonchalant voice, as if his precious time is being wasted. "I'm not sure much can be done, when you're showing no visible symptoms."

"Healers and them never believing a woman," Sanya says with a roll of her eyes, "if unnie says she's sick, then she's sick. You can't just discard her words." She turns to Jeonghan and looks at him intently for a few seconds, before asking in a low voice, "unnie, are you perhaps on your time time of the month?" 

Jeonghan gulps, but almost eagerly starts to nod his head. "Yes, that's right. I'm on my uh, time of the month." If the healer isn't going to believe him, he might as well side with someone who will.

"Why didn't you just say that sooner then?" the healer utters with a frown, his tone turning sharp. "That would save me and everyone else a lot of time. We're all used to you women's typical excuses, you know."

"Excuses?!" Sanya nearly shouts, "what do you mean by excuses? Tell me, Mr. Healer, how many times have you experienced this type of excuse?"

The healer rolls his eyes, as if he's not speaking to a member of the royal family, "I've seen worse wounds and damages, your highness, none of the soldiers dealing with them ever reacted the way some of you women do. I've seen men setting their foot back on battlegrounds while they were still bleeding out. So yes, pardon me if I call it an excuse when a woman doesn't want to bother with being all fancy an-"

"I think that's enough," says a voice, firm and authoritative.

Seungcheol.

He had entered the room while they were busy listening to the healer's rant, and by the cold look on the prince's face, it is evident that he's not satisfied the least.

"If my betrothed claims she's sick, then that's the truth. And that's the end to it. I believe your services aren't needed here anymore."

The healer bows and leaves wordlessly, and Jeonghan couldn't be more grateful for his absence. He's not sure why the healer insisted on his distorted beliefs. He's seen how cruelly bothersome his sisters' monthly cycles could be. Those were not easy days for them at all.

Seungcheol turns his attention to Jeonghan and sits on his bedside. The intensity of his gaze is so strong, that it makes Jeonghan want to avert his eyes. "I'm not surprised that you're in this state, given how many things and changes you've been through recently. It must have weakened your body. It's okay, Hanni, take as much rest as you need. All it matters is that you feel refreshed again."

Jeonghan offers him a faint smile, feeling both guilty for his lies, and appreciative for Seungcheol's care. He gives him a nod, and whispers, "thank you Cheollie. I think I'll need to keep lying down a bit." He doesn't expect the gentle brush of his hair and the soft kiss on his forehead, with Sanya grinning in the back.

So much for feigning a contagious illness.

***

It's been three days. Three days and the guests are still here. No one has questioned or doubted him, thankfully, and they let him take his rest. But he has been trapped in his chamber throughout all these days, and it's driving him crazy. He doesn't think he's ever hated his brother, but at this moment, he is truly fed up and wishes he would just leave for God's sake.

He can't take it anymore. It feels like he's become one with the walls of his room at this point. So on the third night when everyone has gone to bed, he decides to sneak out of his room to the backyard through his lower window. Thankfully, his room isn't located on one of the higher floors, so it's not a difficult task for him to swing by the window and drop on the ground.

Finally, some fresh air.

He has to admit, the silence of the night makes him feel lonely. He misses the frequent chattering and banter of the others that he had got quite used to. Everyone did come to visit him at some point, though separately so as not to overwhelm him. Even Jihoon, who tagged along Soonyoung and tried to tone down his constantly overexcited friend, mumbled to him a wish of fast recovery. Hopefully, tomorrow the guests finally leave the capital, and he can become surrounded by the radiant energy of his newly found friends once more.

He is going to miss them so much once he leaves them behind.

Jeonghan decides not to dwell on it much, and instead focuses on the nature surrounding him as he takes slow and cautious steps in the garden that is illuminated by the lights Seungcheol had shown him weeks ago. But it's hard to let go of these thoughts, when he's already grown so accustomed to their presence in his life. Of course, he misses his family, and would be so ecstatic to find himself at the safety of his small but cozy home. The home which is his, truly and thoroughly, and the family that won't be taken from him. Despite this, he wishes he could have it all. He wishes his family could also enjoy the luxuries and comforts of the lush royal life, and that he could keep his friends by his side.

But this isn't what Jeonghan is here for. He is here to save his mother. These people he has met, are only some merits he's been blessed with on the way, to make this journey less nerve-wracking, and more...

More guilt inducing.

Yes, on the other hand, he wishes the royal palace was filled with self righteous and arrogant people who never accepted him as one of their own, and never treated him equally. That way, he wouldn't have to feel ashamed, or heartbroken once he leaves them alone.

The thread of his thoughts is ripped apart by an alarming crunching sound. He suppresses a gasp that almost escapes his lips, as he spots a large figure nearby, stepping directly towards him. The familiar height and shape, dressed in military clothes...

Jiwan.

Without wasting a moment, he turns on his heels and runs away, which is not exactly the easiest thing to do in his tight gown and dress shoes. The man -Jiwan- calls after him,

"My lady, I'm not an intruder! I didn't mean to scare you."

But Jeonghan doesn't stop and keeps on running in hopes of reaching his window and climbing back in, without facing his brother. He's not in much luck, however, as one of his shoes, which is certainly not made for running, breaks and he falls to the ground.

"My lady!" Jiwan exclaims as he rushes to Jeonghan and slowly helps him up. "Are you hurt? Why did you run away like that?"

Jeonghan, defeated, only hangs his head low in vain hopes of the shadows covering his features. His bad luck, however, seems to be persistent.

"You...you seem very familiar..."

Jeonghan lets out a deep sigh. There's nothing he can do at this point, might as well give in and let the inevitable happen. So he raises his head, and meets his brother's eyes with a downcast face. He watches as confusion falls over Jiwan's expression. His brows knit into a frown, and he opens and closes his mouth several times, before taking Jeonghan's face in gentle hands to see him more clearly under the lights.

"You... Jeonghan...? What-"

"It's me brother," Jeonghan whispers, "please, keep it quiet. I'll explain everything to you."

To say Jiwan is dumbfounded would be an understatement. Jeonghan gives him an account of what has been going on, and figures out that Jiwan hasn't received any of their letters.

"You are telling me, that mother has been ill for months? And I only find out about it now?"

Jeonghan nods his head grimly.

His brother stares at him, "and that, that you... you're getting married to the crown prince, by dressing up as a woman?!"

"Well, not quite married. Obviously, I can't go through the wedding. I was promised they will find the cure beforehand."

"And you trust them on this?"

"I don't have any other choice," Jeonghan mutters.

He is met with silence, and he allows his brother to process everything. After a few minutes he speaks up again,

"You have to go home, hyung. We need you there. Mother needs you there."

"I can't," Jiwan shakes his head, "if I do, I will lose my job."

Jeonghan's brows furrow. "Ji, I don't think that's what's important right now. Mother's -"

"You don't get it, Jeonghan!" Jiwan says firmly, "I need to retain this position if I want to save you."

"Save me?" Jeonghan utters in confusion. 

"Yes! Do you even remotely understand what you've got yourself into? What do you think will happen if they find everything out? You might die, Hannie!"

Jeonghan falls silent again. He has thought about that. Although he's been treated with nothing but kindness and compassion, he knows all that might evaporate if the truth is revealed. It breaks his heart to think so, but the people he's come to appreciate and treasure so much, might turn cold and cruel in an instant once they know the person he truly is.

"I need to be in this position," his brother continues, "so that if you ever need an escape, you can make your way to me and I can help you get back home. My town isn't far from the capital. You can even reach it by foot."

Jeonghan doesn't thinks it over. Jiwan is right, he needs an escape plan just in case. Chances are that he won't get to escape if he is ever caught. But still, knowing there is someone nearby who is looking out for him does make him feel lighter and more at ease.

"Thank you, hyung," he whispers.

Jiwan lets out a sigh, as if still in disbelief at all this. And Jeonghan can't blame him, if he ever came across something like this, he would also be speechless and at a loss. 

"Of course, Hannie. You know I always got our back. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I have to see to it and figure out why neither of our letters could get through."

"I have missed you," Jeonghan says, "we all have."

"Me too," Jiwan says with a nod, "I.. I wish I could see mother soon. And.. I hope your plan works, Hannie. I really hope it does. Thank you for putting yourself through all this. You really are our family's angel."

Instead of replying, Jeonghan buries his face in his brother's shoulder, and tries to hold back his tears at the familiar scent of his brother and the warmth surrounding him as he is pulled in an embrace. Unfortunately, they have to part, Jiwan tells him that they're leaving early in the morning, and Jeonghan goes back to his room which now, feels more empty and hollow than it ever did.

***

The sun rises, and Jeonghan still can't get Jiwan out of his mind. It had been so long since he last saw his brother, and he regrets having locked himself up in his room. Had he opted for a straightforward confrontation with his brother, they would be able to spend a few days by each others' sides. But it's too late to feel remorseful.

Occupied by these thoughts, he spends the morning rather withdrawn and reserved at breakfast, despite having looked forward to being with his friends again. Luckily for him, they brush off his aloofness as an aftermath of his "illness", and don't bother him much about it, which he is thankful for. But he notices Seungcheol mirroring his behaviour, which is not typical of his usual engaging demeanour. At first, he assumes it's the exhaustion of dealing with military matters. But Seungcheol is almost always busy, and he isn't one to let it consume him.

So when he asks Seungcheol about it in private, he does not expect the answer the prince gives him.

"I received news of you and Lieutenant Yoon talking to each other last night."

Jeonghan's heart drops. Someone was there? His mind had been too much of a mess to notice that. They didn't hear anything, right?

Seungcheol continues with a solemn look, "and...they mentioned that you two seemed...quite close. To the point of embracing one another."

Oh God. How does he explain this? Should he deny everything and straight up lie more? Would Seungcheol even believe him? Would he trust him again?

"I would brush this off as a mere accusation or deception but...but why would anyone lie about that, Hanni?" Seungcheol says, voice low, as if unsure of himself, and he looks at Jeonghan with such hopeful eyes, awaiting an explanation that would clear things up.

Jeonghan doesn't have the explanation he wants. But if there's one thing he's got good at during the past few weeks, it's lying.

"He... he's my cousin."

"Your cousin?" Seungcheol asks, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Yes. He...you know I haven't told any of my family members that I'm here yet, him included. But the thing is, he doesn't know about my mom, namely his aunt, dealing with her illness. We didn't tell him because we didn't want to worry him. And so...so I hid."

"Hold on, you're telling me you were hiding and weren't actually ill?" Seungcheol says, his tone turning a bit sharp. Jeonghan almost flinches at it, and swallows before slowly nodding. 

Seungcheol takes a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself down. "This..this meeting, with the military captain, was a crucial one, as I'm sure you realized by the way my father mentioned it. I had to insist to my parents to let you off, because I truly thought you weren't feeling alright. They were very displeased with me, but I endured it because I had your interest at heart and wanted you to be comfortable. But now you're telling me it was all a lie?"

Jeonghan blinks at his words. He didn't know Seungcheol had to stand up for him to get this rest. He wasn't aware that his parents opposed it.

As if he wasn't already feeling down and uncertain about everything...

Before he can stop himself, tears rush to his eyes, and he can't stop them from spilling. It's like all the emotions he's been avoiding the past weeks, months, burst out of him, and in a matter of seconds, he turns into a sobbing mess.

"Please don't be mad Cheollie," Jeonghan says, his voice shakey, and loathing the way Seungcheol's eyebrows have been forming a deep frown since this morning. He can't stand even the thought of upsetting Seungcheol. Seungcheol, who has been nothing but sweet and caring to him, constantly attentive to his needs and wants. The guilt he had managed to bury deep down and ignore comes back tenfold. This is only a fraction of his lies, not even close to the secrets he's covering up. And Seungcheol doesn't deserve any of this. He deserves a true wife, a woman, who will take care of him and carry his children. He shouldn't be deceived like this, to put all this effort into taking care of him for it all to be in vain.

But Jeonghan can't do anything about it.

Seungcheol lets out a sigh, obviously distraught at the sight of him breaking into tears. "Hanni... I'm sorry, I'm not- well, I can't say I'm not mad, that would be a lie. I just... I wish you hadn't done that. I wish... I wish you would have trusted me with the truth. We are supposed to be a team, you know."

Jeonghan nods at his words and says in a broken voice, "I understand. I'm sorry, I won't lie to you again." Except every second, minute and hour, he thinks. Because that's what I have to do for my family, and it's just very unfortunate that you and your family can't be a part of mine.

Seungcheol's eyes soften, and he can almost trace the usual gentleness they always carry whenever they're set on him. He takes a few steps to get closer to him, and softly wipes his cheeks with a handkerchief. Jeonghan stays still as he does so, and sniffs while looking up into his eyes. He hates how cold they had been just a few moments ago, and hates that he was the cause of it. "I'm sorry," he murmurs once again. He truly is, for everything.

"Apology accepted," Seungcheol says as a smile finds its way on his lips, bringing Jeonghan a huge relief. Seungcheol caresses his hair a bit, calming Jeonghan's messy mind. They remain like that for a few seconds, and Jeonghan closes his eyes as he relishes the feeling of Seungcheol's fingers in his hair, before the prince pulls him closer into an embrace. Jeonghan lets himself rest into the other's shoulder.

"I would always love to care for you and protect you, you know?" Seungcheol says, arms wrapped around Jeonghan's smaller body. "That part wasn't the problem, and it'll never be. I'll always do it. Don't forget that, okay?"

Jeonghan nods quietly.

"You're mine to protect, Hanni."

Chapter Text

Seungcheol, thankfully, doesn't remain resentful at Jeonghan‌ for his lie. He goes back to being his usual self, no longer hesitant around him but at ease. Jeonghan tries his best to constantly please the other in any way he can, be it by keeping proximity, little touches here and there, or simply by being more attentive than he perhaps has been recently. All in hopes of making up for the lie and getting on the prince's good side again, which doesn't prove to be a difficult task.

Or perhaps he just wants to relieve a bit of his guilt, not only for the smaller lie, but also for the major one he has been living this whole time, no matter how impossible it might be to do so.

He looks forward to finally making that trip they were planning on, so that hopefully he can get his mind off of things. Especially with how vital the trip seems to be for Seungcheol and his parents. But luck seems to never be on his side these days, because Seungcheol, in one of his combat sessions, ends up badly injuring his leg.

It's nothing too concerning, according to the healer. However, Seungcheol is strictly forbidden from doing any activities that would put pressure on his leg and worsen the situation. That includes not sitting down too much, not walking too much, and of course, absolutely no training. So it is granted that this injury immediately rules out their traveling plans for a couple more weeks.

Jeonghan is completely aware of the competence and strengths of his betrothed. He has managed to accidentally get a look at his usually covered biceps, (of which Jeonghan couldn't take his eyes off, for some reason) and has had the chance to visit him during his combat sessions. The prince is swift, competent, and powerful. One glance at the way he handles his opponents would convince anyone of that.

Nevertheless, his vain efforts in portraying his injury as something of insignificance doesn't fool Jeonghan one bit. He knows the other is in actual pain, and he truly wishes that he wouldn't want to try to come off as okay all the time. He wishes he would let himself be taken care of for once. But these wishes won't come true on their own, definitely not when left alone to Seungcheol, so Jeonghan decides to put them into action by constantly being on his side. He takes the prince's meals to him in his room instead of letting the servants do it, which raises many complaints from Seungcheol at first, but it doesn't stop Jeonghan. He also makes sure he takes all his medications on time, which causes Seungcheol to blush alongside his infamous pouts with a murmur of "I am not a little child."

Jeonghan naturally brushes off all these complaints, and doesn't let them get into his way. This is only natural, he thinks to himself. He has always been used to taking care of others. He did it with his sisters, with his father, and of course, with his mother. So taking care of the prince isn't any different; this is just something that he does for the people in his life, regardless of whether they're family or not.

And yes, Seungcheol is of course not a part of his family. Soon they will fall apart and never meet again. The thought stings his heart, but it is inevitable, and it's time Jeonghan comes to terms with it. Regardless, he continues to make sure Seungcheol doesn't feel lonely all cooped up in his room. He would do this for any of them, he tells himself, whether it was Seungcheol or Seungkwan, Sanya, or even the guards, he would make sure they were take care of, even if they wouldn't really be in need of his care thanks to the many servants available. It's just the natural thing to do.

On the second day, everything seems to go well, with Seungcheol being more used to Jeonghan's fuss and pampering. He readily accepts the food Jeonghan brings to him, and seems to be more at ease, enjoying the other's company. So when at night Jeonghan is about to feed him his medications, he is shocked to feel a great warmth rediating from Seungcheol's body.

"Seungcheol," he says, his voice giving away the concern and anxiety rising up in his mind, "you're burning up!"

"What?" Seungcheol says, his expression dazzled and hazy. Jeonghan should have seen this coming. "It's not a big deal, Hanni. I'm fi-"

"Oh for the love of God stop with the fine act already!"

It's the first time Jeonghan has ever somewhat raised his voice at the prince, and he surprises both himself and the other, as is evident by Seungcheol's widened eyes.

"I... I'll go catch the healer," he murmurs before practically sprinting out of the room. He knows it's most likely an infection of some sorts, but it doesn't put him at any more ease. Because this means that Seungcheol will be in even more pain, more fatigue, and overall more struggles, as if he didn't have enough on his plate already.

The healer confirms Jeonghan's suspicions, and prescribes more medications, but warns that they most likely won't have an effect until the next day. So Jeonghan braces himself for a long night, as he prepares a bucket of water and several cloths.

That night Jeonghan doesn't sleep. He stays up alert, changes the damp cloth on Seungcheol's forehead here and there, and watches out for any possible symptoms of his health regressing, which luckily doesn't happen, and despite the fever, Seungcheol manages to sleep throughout the whole night. Jeonghan is careful not to make any noise so that he doesn't disturb the man's peace. Eventually, however, his fatigue gets the best of him and he falls asleep while sitting on the ground with his head and arms laying on the bed.

He wakes up to a hand shaking his shoulder, and winces in pain as he raises his head. That was not a comfortable sleeping position, the aftermath being a stiff neck he now has got to deal with. He blinks a few times to wake himself up, and his vision clears up to a frowning Seungcheol staring down at him.

What is wrong? Is he okay? Did his fever get worse again? Did he possibly-

"You shouldn't have slept like that, Hanni," the prince says with a pout, "you should have just gone back to your room, I'm fi- um, I'm better, really."

Jeonghan has to bite his lip to stop a laughter. Did the prince just stutter at the word fine to avoid getting him mad?

That's cute.

Seungcheol shifts away from him and creates space on the bed before saying, "come lay down, Hanni. You really need to rest. I would suggest you go back to your room but one, you're too adamant and two, I need to see with my own eyes that you are resting."

Jeonghan can only blink, his mind still not awake enough to register the words. Is Seungcheol asking him to lie down next to him...on the bed?

At Jeonghan's hesitence, Seungcheol's expression changes to that of a surprised realization and he starts to ramble on, "well unless of course you're- if you're uncomfortable then well-"

His stuttering and blushing makes Jeonghan giggle, which is of course returned by a pout. He indulges Seungcheol, albeit with continued hesitence. His access to the royal closet grants him a variety of materials which facilities feigning his gender. Still, he can never be too sure, and can never get too close. So as he obeys the prince's wish, he keeps his distance and lays on the bed few inches apart from him.

They stare into each other's eyes wordlessly for a few minutes, until Seungcheol reaches out to play with Jeonghan's hair. Despite himself, Jeonghan eases up at the comfort it brings, and takes a few relaxing breaths as he feels the weight of the fingers on his head, relieved at their normal temperature contrary to the night before.

The night before...he had told himself that he would do this for any of the members of the family, and he still stands by it, of course. However, when he takes in the way Seungcheol looks at him with such endearment and trust, Jeonghan starts to gradually believe that he that doing this for Seungcheol is indeed a bit...different? Special? Unique? He doesn't know exactly how, or why. Maybe it's the guilt, maybe it's their proximity, maybe it's the fact that he has probably spent more time with the prince than anyone else, maybe it's their supposed upcoming marriage. Whatever it is, Jeonghan truly wishes that he could have met Seungcheol under different circumstances so that he could keep him forever.

But no, he thinks to himself, if he actually had met Seungcheol in another setting, there would not be any traces of these light touches they share. Seungcheol wouldn't look at him the way he does now; they wouldn't stay next to each other this close. All of this would be gone and Jeonghan, although he more than anything wishes that he wouldn't have to break Seungcheol's heart, a small selfish part of him doesn't want to let go of this intimacy, of these aspects of their relationship. If he had met Seungcheol as who he truly is, their relationship would never turn out the way it did, and that is something Jeonghan doesn't really want to let go of, even if it's only for a while.

Would you look at me this way if you knew who I truly am? Jeonghan thinks to himself as his stares absentmindedly into the prince's eyes

"Hanni?" Seungcheol's voice brings him back to the reality, "what are you so lost in thought for?"

His eyes widen. "Oh I, uh, well I was, um..."

Seungcheol lets out a laugh as he fails to find any coherent words, and heat rises to his cheeks.

"Oh sweetheart, you really didn't get any good sleep, huh?" Sweetheart. In that raspy, morning voice.

"I'm really grateful for it, you know? I can't help but feel bad for how tired you must be."

"I am tired," Jeonghan confesses, "but aren't small sacrifices part of what anyone would do for their loved ones?"

Loved ones. The term slipped out. And if Seungcheol is affected by it, he doesn't really show, except a sad smile that blooms on his face.

"It's always been the healers and the servants who have done the caring for me," he whispers.

"Your parents never took care of you?" Jeonghan asks in surprise.

Seungcheol shakes his head, "no. They were constantly busy with duties and didn't have time to waste on a sick child. They would come to my room and visit me at least once a day, of course. But they would let the healers and servants take care of the illness. They mostly showed up only to check on me and well, them."

"It's not wasting time," Jeonghan murmurs, his eyebrows forming a deep frown at the prince's words. How could any parent leave their child all alone while they're sick? How could they possibly think that servants taking care of a sick child is the same as the parents doing it? For the first time since arriving at the palace, Jeonghan is a grateful to be born as a commoner. And he wishes that Seungcheol could have experienced the same sort of love and care as a child. He should have. Any child should.

"Well that's what I'm here for," Jeonghan says, "I'll take care of you whenever you're sick or whenever you need me."

Of course, Jeonghan doubts that Seungcheol would fall sick so soon again in the span of the two months that he's here. Nevertheless, he gives him this empty promise. Because that's how he wishes things were, he wishes he could remain here by his side, and make sure he is well taken care of, even if that would mean sacrificing his own rest. For him, he would do it.

Maybe in another life.

"Thank you, Hanni. It really means a lot to me," he whispers, genuine and authentic, a trace of his dimples appearing, "you, mean a lot to me."

You mean a lot to me too, Jeonghan thanks to himself. But he doesn't utter these thoughts, he can't bring himself to.

***

After resting the whole day, all symptoms of a fever fade as Seungcheol slowly regains his strength. By the time a few days pass, he's able to start walking normally, though it takes a lot of practice and patience on his side, throughout all of which Jeonghan stays by him and provides whatever amount of support he can, be it by holding his hands as he moves or simply offering encouraging words.

They are both ecstatic to hear the healer granting him permission to travel. Neither they nor the people in charge of the planning waste any time, and in a blink of an eye things are packed and they are ready to embark on their journey. Originally, the king had intended to accompany them. But he has been so caught up with matters lately, even more so after Jiwan's visit for some reason. Jeonghan doesn't know whether this is something to be grateful for or not. Fewer people, especially with someone as significant as the king himself not being there, means more attention is to be turned towards him, as the future bride. On the other hand, if it's just the two of them travelling, he can have Seungcheol all to himself...

But he hasn't forgotten the main goal of the trip,

Seungkwan.

"Noona, I still don't get how this might help," Seungkwan says with a pouty face as Jeonghan prepares for departure. Clearly, he wishes to tag along and observe the result of Jeonghan's plan himself. But this trip is not meant for him, so he has to stay behind.

"Just tell them to do as I said, and leave the rest to me, okay?" Jeonghan replies with a fond look and a soft smile. He has to suppress the urge to pinch Seungkwan's cheek.

His plan will work. It has to. He is a bit anxious of Seungcheol's reaction, yes, and he doesn't know how to break it to Seungkwan if it's...not a positive one. But he has hope.

The carriage they travel with is the most comfortable one Jeonghan has ever had the chance to ride with. He didn't know that trips could actually be enjoyed, if facilitated with soft cushions, constant food and drinks, and of course, several people at your service.

But it's more than only that. For the first time, he also has a companion.

Not a healer who is going to take his money on a trip filled with anxiety, no. A true partner who seems to enjoy his company as much as he does. Seungcheol tells him accounts and histories of the towns they pass by, and Jeonghan eagerly listens and learns so many new things in a span of hours. He makes a mental note to himself to later suggest the idea of a formal education for the common people to Seungcheol before he leaves the palace for good. The prince might resent the ideas he's been presenting later on, but it doesn't hurt to plant them into his mind, given how Seungcheol genuinely does care about his people.

He is grateful for the comfort of the journey, because they don't get any chance to rest before going to greet the awaiting townspeople right upon arriving. The town is a political one, according to Seungcheol, which entails later meeting with a few important politicians. For now, though, they are to show face to the commonors who have been waiting for almost a month to meet their future queen.

It is strange, to be among the commonors once more and not be one of them. Sure, he lives among the servants and other workers in the palace and sees them on a daily basis, is served by them, but even they are adorned with clothings that would be considered grandiose compared to what the normal people wear. Being surrounded by these people is so much different. They are not royal servants or maids, they are not guards who have befriended the royal family members, no. They are just people, namelessly lost to the crowd, seemingly bearing no significance in relation to the travellers standing opposite them. But he, he is one of them, born and raised in similar conditions, not with a silver spoon in his mouth, nor servants at his feet. His town is even less significant compared to the one they're at, it has never seen the sight of a politician or anyone of importance. Probably the closest person to the royal palace his town has is his brother, who only gained that privilege through his own blood, sweat and tears. And the people are of course aware of this fact, that he is the same as them. And yet, they have worn their best clothes to meet him, their eyes shining as they take in the sight of him, and wide smiles growing on their faces. The reaction can't even be reduced to the presence of the prince, because all eyes are set on him.

The two start to walk the streets, holding hands and waving to everyone, who have conveniently created a path for them. They wave back and shout his name, alongside words of what can be called a mixture of encouragement and support. The looks in their eyes remind him of the way Seungkwan always looks at him, shiny and with adoration. He looks up to you, Seungcheol had told him. Do these people look up to him as well? But they barely even know him. At least Seungkwan sees and speaks to him everyday, and has gained a somewhat sufficient knowledge of who he is, despite the feigned persona.

"Historically, the women of the palace have always been the...well...level headed ones," Seungcheol explains to him later as they walk towards their inn, long after the crowd dispersers to go home and the couple finally get some time to themselves, only followed by their guards. "They are the ones who discouraged their husbands, sons, brothers and fathers from raging unnecessary wars or anything that would condemn the common people to a harsher life. They have always been the ones to give the people a listening ear when their complaints and needs fell on deaf ears. Well, things have changed throughout the years. The recent kings haven't been so keen on pillaging and instead pay attention to the commonors. Still, the people continue to rely on the women of the palace. And that's why marriage is so important, the queen matters to the people as much as the king does. That's why your role is so vital, Hanni."

This is the role Jeonghan has been used to, both as an older brother, and as a beauty consultant. Advising, supporting, encouraging, giving hope. He loves being able to do all of these. And if by simply existing he can give the people hope, then what better position than that?

Except I am no woman, Jeonghan thinks to himself.

His thoughts are shattered by a bump of something small into his legs, and he looks down to see a little boy looking up at him in awe.

"Jiwan!" A woman shouts as she comes running towards the boy and takes him protectively in her arms, looking up at the couple in fear. Jeonghan doesn't blame her for her reaction.

So he smiles at them, both amused at the child, and also as a way to unnerve the mother. He bends down to meet the boy's eye level and softly asks, "is your name Jiwan?"

The boy only nods silently.

"You should speak up, Ji," the mother urges her son.

"Yes, Miss," the boy says, eyes never wandering off of Jeonghan.

"It's a beautiful name you have. It's also my br- uh, my cousin's name."

The boy's eyes widen, delighted at this information. Kids truly marvel at anything. Jeonghan grins at his expression, and reaches out to shuffle the boy's hair.

"Tell me, Jiwan, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Jeonghan asks. It isn't common for people to divert from their parents' occupations, with Jeonghan's family being one of the few exceptions. Still, children love to dream, and Jeonghan isn't one to shatter their hopes, quite the opposite. And the joy that sparks in the boy's eyes is totally worth it. What Jeonghan misses in the midst of this interaction, however, is the endeared look Seungcheol is wearing as he quietly takes in the conversation from a few feet away.

"A writer!" The boy exclaims in reply.

A writer? Jeonghan definitely wasn't expecting that, and he doesn't manage to hide his surprise. "Why a writer?"

"If I'm a writer, that means I can read!"

Jeonghan tilts his head before looking up at the mother. The shameful look the woman wears, and the way she averts her eyes make it clear.

The family is illiterate.

It's not uncommon. Most families view reading as a form of luxury, especially with how expensive books can be. Still, no one likes to publicly declare that they cannot read or write.

Jeonghan decides right there and then to make a move he never thought he would.

"Tell you what, Jiwannie. If I get you some books and a teacher, will you promise me to become a writer?"

Both the woman and the boy gasp at his words. Truth be told, he has shocked even himself. He never meant to make such a bold suggestion, given his fake title and possible failure in keeping his word. But he can't sit back and do nothing. The idea of suggesting formal education to Seungcheol resurfaces; he definitely won't forget to talk to him about it.

Jiwan nods frantically, almost jumping up and down with enthusiasm. And in that moment, there isn't one thing Jeonghan regrets about this whole thing. His trip to the palace, leaving his family, and the whole facade. They all seem worth it, even if for only a second.

***

After finally arriving at the inn and getting some rest, their next day is spent with the political figures of not only this town but also the adjacent ones; mayors, ministers as well as their wives, with whom Jeonghan is expected to converse and socialize with. He tries his best, he truly does. But they are nowhere near as interesting as the royal family, and their lack of common backgrounds makes it almost impossible to find an entertaining topic that well, doesn't revolve around their husbands.

The only time that his interest is sparked, is when the town's mayor's wife speaks up, "the people seem to be truly into you, Miss Hanni. There have been talks of you having encouraged a low class child to pursue literacy."

Jeonghan doesn't miss the almost hidden venom in her voice, and neither does everyone else in the room. Jeonghan tenses, and throws a glance at Seungcheol, afraid to cross boundaries by accident. But judging by his countenance, he doesn't seem pleased by the woman's remarks either. Despite that, he remains silent, and Jeonghan gets the message.

This is his fight.

Jeonghan gathers all his confidence and clears his throat before speaking up, "yes I have. I don't believe there should be a difference between so called classes when it comes to education."

He can hear the sounds of surprise that the others let out, and the mayor's wife snorts, "but what use would it be for a low class child to learn how to read and write, when that is never going to be practical for him? Why not spend all that time, money and energy on something that would actually teach him how to work and be useful?"

Jeonghan takes a deep breath, he has come across people like her before, mostly travellers and merchants whose path crossed his town, and looked at their people with their nose up. "Why should a child be learning how to work?"

"Because he's of the lower class, and that's what the lower class does. They don't deal with words or numbers, they deal with tools and...and whatever it is that they use. They provide the foods, the water, and any service we need. We, in turn, govern them and make sure they remain appropriately in their designated place."

"They are not your slaves!" Jeonghan exclaims, unable to stop himself from putting as much venom as he can into his voice, his disdain loud and clear.

The room falls silent at his outburst, and upon feeling Seungcheol's hands on his own, he takes a deep breath and says, "please excuse me," before getting up and leaving the room.

Seungcheol follows him out, and part of him wishes that he wouldn't. He has never been good at dealing with unjust and overbearing people like her without getting worked up.

"I'm sorry, Cheollie," he says in a weak voice, "I shouldn't have lashed out and embarrassed you like that-"

"Who said you embarrassed me?" Seungcheol's voice is calm and steady, yet with a hint of authority, everything that Jeonghan isn't right now. "You stood up for what is right, and that would never be an embarrassment, Hanni." He steps closer to Jeonghan, putting his hands on his arms. "That is exactly how a queen should react towards injustice in her kingdom, and I couldn't be more proud. I knew I had chosen the right person."

Jeonghan blinks, the prince's words completely taking over the havoc that had become his mind, only to throw him into another one.

I knew I had chosen the right person.

"Let us just go back in and end this meeting, we were done discussing the important matters anyway. You and me can talk about this topic among ourselves later on." Jeonghan nods, and as they get on their way, Seungcheol adds, "on the bright side, it seems that you are now more popular in the town than the mayor's wife herself."

***

Later in the evening, when the sun is preparing to set and the dusk is nearing, Jeonghan takes the prince's hand and leads him out the inn for a walk. The weather in this city is much colder than what Jeonghan is used to, even on the coldest nights of his town he wouldn't have to dress up the way he has now for what is supposedly only an "autumn night". So when he pulls his coat closer and tries to shield himself from the wind, Seungcheol doesn't hesitate to take off his own to put it around Jeonghan. He blushes at the gesture, remembering having read about similar actions being done by the male heroes in the romantic novels he used to read as a teenager. But he doesn't complain, and only lets himself get lost in the bigger coat offered by the man, burying his nose in the collar and secretly sniffing it once he believes Seungcheol isn't looking.

To say that Jeonghan isn't nervous to put his plans into action would be a lie. Not that he necessarily believes Seungcheol to have a negative reaction, but this matter has to do with Seungkwan's life, his whole identity. And on his behalf, Jeonghan has to steel himself.

As they walk to the destined location, they get lost in conversation about their day and how people took in their "future queen". The title stings Jeonghan. He never once thought he'd regret being born male, especially after watching his sisters struggle through life and society's expectations as women. But in this moment, and each time he is in the prince's vicinity, he wishes he was born as one of his sisters instead.

He wishes he was Yoo Hanni.

Maybe either Youngmi and Nara should have come here. That was his original plan, wasn't it? To send one or both of his sisters to the gala, in hopes of them catching the prince's eye. Would that have worked? If Jeonghan hadn't set foot in the gala, would Seungcheol still gravitate towards his family, the real women of his family? Or would he have simply chosen the first woman that crossed his path, the way Jeonghan did that night?

Focus, Jeonghan reminds himself as he catches Seungcheol staring at him. "You've been silent for a while, Hanni."

Jeonghan tries not to blush. He really needs to get out of his head, at least whenever he's surrounded by people, or most importantly, by Seungcheol.

He flashes him a shy smile, one which Seungcheol also returns. For the first time since the beginning of their trip, Jeonghan fully takes in the prince and studies him. He's become much stronger, much healthier, and Jeonghan is glad his efforts in taking care of the prince paid off. The realisation fills Jeonghan with a warmth. Although the prince's injury was nowhere near deadly and only required a few days to heal, it still hurt to see him struggle with the pain and discomfort it had brought. But here he is, all healthy and capable of walking on his own again. It makes Jeonghan feel proud.

Seungcheol comes to a halt next to him and there they are, two figures against one another with their lips on each other. Both obviously male, despite their features not being clear.

Jeonghan looks up from the scene to take in Seungcheol's reaction. He is taken aback, that much is easy to tell. But he isn't disdainful, not one bit, only surprised.

With a clearance of his throat, the prince announces his presence. One of the boys lets out a gasp -they seem to be good actors, Jeonghan has to give them that- and in the blink of an eye they run away from where the couple is standing.

Silence falls, and Jeonghan waits to see whether Seungcheol will break it. After failing to receive a reaction, he decides to speak up himself.

"Does- um, does that- do people in the bigger cities...are many of them like this?"

Seungcheol scratches his neck, "um, not that I know of, really..."

"I thought they weren't allowed to do that."

"There aren't any laws against them per se... it's just not really encouraged."

"And you would also not discourage it? When you're the king?"

Seungcheol's eyebrows furrow, "honestly, if two people are truly in love with each other, and no one is being hurt by that, then why should I intervene?" He pauses for a few seconds before continuing, "well, you could argue that encouraging it might reduce childbearing which would work against the kingdom's favour. But... I can't bring myself to take anyone away from their loved one."

Jeonghan feels relief wash over him as he looks at Seungcheol with admiration in his eyes. He had never looked at it from that perspective. But even though it would bring Seungcheol as the future king no benefits whatsoever, he still isn't inclined to discourage it.

"I mean, even imagining someone taking you away from me is too painful, so how I can I inflict that pain on someone?"

Jeonghan's breath hitches. He was not expecting Seungcheol to say anything like that. But looking into his eyes, he can only find sincerity, and something else he can't quite put his finger on.

Did he just indirectly call him his loved one?

"Come," it's Seungcheol's turn to take his hand and lead him. "I have somewhere to show you before it's completely dark."

They get walking again, but Jeonghan can't still get the earlier incident out of his head. Sure, Seungcheol did say he was fine with it, but he never mentioned whether he would be fine if it was his own sibling.

"What if that person was in the royal family?" he blurts out.

"Huh?"

"Um," Jeonghan thinks quickly, "what if...what if let's say, our child happens to be like that?"

Seungcheol ponders it for a few seconds. But before he gives an answer, Jeonghan makes out a line of blue appearing in the road ahead.

Sea.

He gasps and comes to a halt as he takes in the view. The sun is slowly hiding behind it, with its rays reflecting on the clear blue water.

"You have never been to the sea before, right?"

Jeonghan shakes his head as he slowly picks up his steps again, before he is hit with a rush of salty smell.

"It...it smells weird."

Seungcheol lets out a soft chuckle, "yeah, that's the smell of the sea."

"And the sound... it's...it sounds so peaceful."

Seungcheol nods his head. "It's way less crowded at this time of day, and I wanted you to encounter it at its most peaceful state."

"Thank you," Jeonghan whispers, unable to take his eyes off of the astonishing view in front of him.

They sit down on the sand a few feet away from the water, both lost in the moment, before Seungcheol speaks up, "that would make the matters complicated."

"Huh?"

"If our child was like that."

Oh, right. He had asked that question. The tranquility and magnificence of the sea had stolen all his thoughts away.

Seungcheol continues, "if it was the heir, then it would meddle with his own heir and matrimony. Also, just because I, as the king don't have a problem with it, doesn't mean the people won't. So I don't think it would be wise to be public about it."

"Right," Jeonghan says, "but um, would you be fine with it?"

"I would," Seungcheol nods without any trace of hesitation, "why? Are you afraid that I might abandon our child?" His tone is teasing, but Jeonghan can detect some apprehension layered in it.

"I uh, I just want to know if we're on the same page," Jeonghan says with a blush. Seungcheol brushes his hair behind his ear, and there is that look on his face again. "I promise I will treat our children with utmost kindness and fairness, Hanni," he plants a kiss on his cheek, his voice soft and reassuring as he whispers, "you don't have anything to worry about. That's my promise to you."

Jeonghan swallows down a lump, and blinks fast to block the tears from forming. He wishes that was the case. But he shoves away that thought, the reality of his lies, and instead leans in to kiss Seungcheol, which he returns fervently. Jeonghan can't stop himself from letting out a soft moan as Seungcheol's lips start to chase his nonstop without a pause.

"God, why are your lips so soft, Hanni?" Seungcheol says as he finally pulls back after a few seconds, his breath shattered and short against Jeonghan's.

Jeonghan shudders at his deep voice.

He continues planting small kisses on Jeonghan's cheeks, chin and neck, lowering and lowering until-

Until he reaches a dangerously low spot- his collarbone. And Jeonghan has to put some force into gently pushing him away. "Um," he averts his eyes, his voice unsteady and filled with nothing more than want and god please keep going, "we- it's better to keep things...you know. Since we're not married yet."

"Right," Seungcheol nods and leans back, embarrassed, as if only remembering that fact now. He offers Jeonghan a shy smile, one of those that show his dimples and make Jeonghan's heart almost stop. "Sorry, I got ahead of myself. It's just that, kissing you is the best feeling in the world."

Before he knows it, the tears he had blinked away a few moments ago rush back and fill his eyes. God, he hates how vulnerable he is. Seungcheol rushes to wipe them away, alerted at the slightest sadness appearing on Jeonghan's features. "Hey, what's wrong, love?"

Love.

Can this get any harder on him?

Jeonghan shakes his head as he tries not to sob, "it's just that I'm happy is all," he hides his lie behind a wet smile. In truth, he wishes he had never met Seungcheol. He wishes his mother had never got so sick to make him resort to such a thing. And he hates himself, he already despises himself for what he has to do to Seungcheol, for when he has to leave and break his heart.

So he pulls Seungcheol into a kiss once more, even if it shatters his own heart into pieces. But only before softly whispering,

"I love you."