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Chapter Text

I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel about today. 

There was certainly no love lost between me and Lilith Sorrengail. Not for all the pain and suffering she had caused me for the past six years. However, a small part of me will forever be grateful to her for the sacrifice she made to spare Violet’s life. Violet, however, was haunted by her mother’s decision and was plagued by nightmares of what had transpired in those final moments. I had to resist the urge to shake her shoulder to tell her she didn’t know how wrong she was. 

Perhaps Lilith Sorrengail and I were more alike than I’d care to admit. She had given up her life for Violet, while I had given up my soul.

I would gladly make the same decision every time if given the choice. Violet was everything good about this world. She had to survive what was to come, even if it broke her heart in the process. As long as she was alive, all of this would have been worth something. 

But today would be especially difficult for Violet. Today was her mother’s funeral when her body would be burned and her soul commended to Malek. It didn’t help matters that Navarrian, Tyrish, and Poromish leadership was using the funeral as an excuse to broach an alliance treaty. She couldn’t even properly mourn her mother without being on her guard. Which she would certainly need to be. The only gossip that had spread faster than the news of the venin’s return was intrigue surrounding Violet’s unfathomable power and how instrumental it had been during the Battle of Basgiath. 

Violet’s fears of being turned into a weapon were coming dangerously close to becoming a reality. Tecarus barely even hesitated before sending confirmation he’d attend the funeral, no doubt hoping to get his paws on Violet to collect her. I already knew Navarre’s leaders were thirsting after Violet’s power long before they knew what we were really up against. They had every intention of keeping her exactly where she was and even though I hated to admit it, Navarre was the safest place for her until we learned to how properly ward Aretia. 

I fell into formation along with Violet’s squad along with Garrick in a show of quiet support for Violet and her siblings. Violet turned around to flash us all a grateful smile before turning her attention to the line of mourners who wanted to pay their respects to General Sorrengail’s children. Most of them were former colleagues, diplomats, and Navarrian nobility. Some were genuine in their remarks that they were saddened to hear about the heroic loss of such an instrumental member of Navarre’s military, but most just wanted to lay their eyes on the general’s resurrected rebel son or the lightning-wielding daughter. 

“This is agonizing,” Violet muttered down the bond. “She would have hated all of this.” 

I smirked at the back of her head, “ My father always said funerals were more for the living than the dead.”  

“I can’t believe she’s really gone,” Violet continued sparing a sad glance towards the dais where her mother’s body lay. 

“I’m sorry,” I offered lamely. Not knowing what else to say. Knowing not much would bring her any comfort. 

“Me too.” 

Suddenly, excited mutters made their way through the crowd and onlookers craned their necks to get a look at the Navarrian royal family as they made their way up the aisle towards Violet’s family. I could see Violet tense, which was odd. She seemed on good enough terms with Aaric and Liam had remarked that the King was even warm towards Violet when he visited Basgiath for the Unification Day party. Perhaps she didn’t feel as warmly now that she knew how many lives the King had cost by denying what was happening outside of Navarre’s borders. 

Violet gave the King and Queen an obligatory bow as they approached, and the King grasped Violet’s shoulders. 

“Oh, what the fuck,” she thought to herself as she glanced around the room. Part of me wanted to scold her for dropping her shields, but I didn’t want to distract her. I couldn’t hear the words the King muttered to Violet, but the familiar smile he gave her didn’t quite meet his eyes. Instead, I used my second signet to source what he really wanted beneath the bullshit he was no doubt spewing to Violet and her siblings. 

“We’ll have to find some incentives to have her come to heel,” the King thought as he gave Violet a gratuitous once-over. He was assessing her worth for both his personal gain and the protection of Navarre. “From what Melgren and Aetos have told me, she’s had quite the rebellious streak when it comes to following orders. Best to start with the brother and sister if Varrish’s reports are to be believed.” 

I fought the swell of rage that threatened to break through the surface. Of course, those monsters had reported on Violet’s torture and vulnerabilities as if they were exchanging notes on a science experiment. Being a child of the rebellion, this depravity of Navarre’s cruelty didn’t shock me often but the Sorrengails….or Violet and Mira, at the very least, were their own. They had spent a portion of their childhood in the King’s court and I couldn’t sense an ounce of shame or regret for what had been done to Violet from him. No, all I could gather from him was cool, careful calculation and his desire to mold Violet into their perfect weapon. 

Violet’s stance did not relax as the King and Queen moved along to take their seats. 

The next figure that approached Violet was radiating shame, regret, and even longing as he moved closer to her. I recognized him as the crown prince. Even had he not shared the same features as Aaric, I wouldn’t forget how he was a constant pain in my ass two years ago when he returned to Basgiath to investigate Alic’s death. Violet shared that she and Dain had been relatively close with Aaric in the years their parents had been stationed at Calldyr. When she found out what I’d done to Alic, Violet noted that she hadn’t really known him all that well and Halden was the oldest. Closer to Mira’s age than Violet and Dain’s. I tried to reach back into my memory to recall everything I knew about Halden Tauri, but it was surprisingly little as I think he’s best known for being a spoiled, pompous prick. Exactly what you’d expect from a crown prince. 

I fought every horrible urge inside myself to read Violet’s thoughts and intentions towards the oldest prince. Instead, I watched as she stiffened under his gaze. It was the same unsure, doubting posture that she had under her mother’s critical eye. Although, Violet was never hesitant to meet her mother’s eye. With Halden, she seemed adamant about avoiding it at all costs. 

“She looks good….strong even.” I could hear Halden’s assessment of Violet. “Still stubborn as ever though, I doubt she’d agree to our request for a private audience.” 

Yeah, over my dead body would Violet be meeting with the royal family for a private audience. I trusted them even less than Tecarus, but at least I knew all of Cordyn’s weak spots at this point. If I knew how to bring Calldyr to its knees, I would have done so years ago.

Violet gave the Prince a polite, courteous bow and as she straightened, Halden pulled her into a tight hug. 

“Gods,” Halden breathed mentally. " She’s definitely put on some muscle, not to mention…” 

I blocked him out as the hateful, rageful beast that lived inside me threatened to break through the surface again. So they certainly knew each other well enough that he knew what Violet felt like. I scanned the room and watched the hungry, calculating eyes watching Violet and Halden. I didn’t need to read them to know what their intentions were, it was written all over their faces. Violet, clearly sensing this as well, quickly and awkwardly returned the hug. 

The Prince pulled away from Violet and shot her a winning grin that made me want to punch his perfect teeth in. I don’t think I gave Violence nearly enough credit for not murdering Cat in the sparring ring if this is the way she was feeling. Then I watched as Halden tucked a hair behind Violet’s ear and I lost the little control I had left. 

Shadows skittered below my feet as I clenched my fists at my side. Luckily, I was surrounded by my friends and Violet’s squad so that no untrustworthy eyes noticed. I ignored Imogen’s goading snort as Garrick raised an eyebrow at me. The only person who ever really saw me lose control like this was Violet. The few times I lost control in front of others were usually a result of Violet landing herself in danger again. Publicly losing my composure over jealousy was completely uncharted territory for me.

“Snagging the crown prince,” Ridoc Gamlyn whispered with a low whistle. “Go, Violet.” 

Bodhi snickered beside me and I shot him a glare that usually would send most people running, but my cousin clamped his mouth shut. An amused smirk remained though. 

Unable to resist the urge any longer, I found myself reaching down the bond. 

“ Violence… ” I began. Unsure of what questions I wanted to ask and the answers I wanted to know. 

“I’ll explain later,” she replied, not a hint of deception to be found. Just more of a reminder that this wasn’t the time or place for this conversation. “ Although, you did say you had no interest in hearing about my exes.” 

She did have me there. It had been true after all, I didn’t see what good would come of dredging up the past. We both had our own histories, and as far as I was concerned whoever came before didn’t matter. It was only going to be Violet for me in the future. However, that notion was much easier to accept when I thought her exes were spoiled lordlings back in Calldyr or a cadet in the infantry quadrant. A prior relationship with the crown prince of Navarre…complicated things. Not for their relationship, but how they’d broker any potential alliances with Navarre. 

“That’s when I thought it was some no-name infantry asshole,” I retorted. “The crown prince of Navarre is somewhat different.”

“Technically, you were right on the money about the infantry part though,” she teased and I fought the overwhelming urge to glower, failing miserably. I observed Halden and Mira exchange some friendly words and was reminded of the question that had nagged me earlier.

“Isn’t he closer to Mira’s age?” I continued, unable to control myself yet again. Gods this girl would be the death of me. 

“Later,” she practically shouted down the bond before slamming the door of her mental archives. I clenched my jaw. I was half tempted to shred through those shields to get an idea of what she was thinking. But Violet would never forgive me for that violation of privacy, and it was the least I could grant her for all of the grace and support she had given me over the past two weeks. 

Instead, I spared a glance at Aetos who looked as tense as I felt. I could sense that he was just as confused as the rest of us. No real jealousy to be found, just sadness that Violet didn’t trust him enough with this information. So he clearly had no clue about this little liaison either. 

I spared a glance at Brennan who gruffly shook Halden’s hand before shifting an assessing gaze at his youngest sister who was now engaged in polite conversation with yet another military aide. Brennan, like myself, intended to get to the bottom of the specifics of Halden and Violet’s relationship once they were alone. I didn’t envy the shitstorm that was going to come Halden’s way when Brennan shifted into protective big brother mode. I’m still pretty sure he wanted to beat my ass half the time he looked at me and probably would have when he first learned that Violet and I were together had he not been more preoccupied with keeping her alive. However, I’d be more than happy to sit back and watch Brennan kick the shit out of Halden to avoid looking like the jealous lover that I was slowly becoming. 

Although, when did this suspected relationship take place if her siblings and Aetos had no clue it happened? 

The only two people who seemed to have any inkling about this relationship were Aaric and Jesinia. Aaric observed his father and older brother with apprehension as he spared a few worried glances towards Violet. Jesinia, more shockingly, beheld the crown prince with abject disgust and annoyance. I didn’t know the scribe well, but from the little bit I did know and read from her in our meetings last year was that she was relatively good-natured and had a strong urge to do the right thing. Her abysmal regard for Halden did not bode well if Violet expected me to play nicely with the king. 

Even Aaric’s nervous temperament put me on a further edge. What the hell had happened between them? And what did they want from her now? Aside from making her Navarre’s not-so-secret weapon. I focused on the King. After a quick read, I was able to decipher he intended to collect Violet just like Tecarus. To keep her shelved away like some prized possession and tote her around the continent to spread the propaganda that Navarre still held the upper hand. He also had no qualms about persuading her by any means possible, he remembered a correspondence from Varrish that reported that the best way to get to Violet would be through those she loves. My blood boiled at that. Of course, the Navarrians would turn Violet’s greatest strength into her greatest weakness. 

Then I focused in on Halden. His intentions made my stomach coil for a completely different reason. He wanted Violet, that was certain, but his desire was more of a personal sense rather than the good of Navarre. However, he didn’t deny that her newfound power was an added bonus. He wanted her back. 

I curled my hands into tight fists, earning me a glance from Garrick. 

“You good?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow at me. 

“I’m fine,” I muttered. We both knew that was bullshit, I hadn’t felt this way since I watched Aetos kiss Violet on the flight field. 

“I seem to recall a hint of jealousy when you saw her wearing another male’s flight jacket,” Sgaeyl teased. 

Fuck, I’d almost forgotten the flash of possessive jealousy that coursed through me when she had shown up to Samara in Bodhi’s flight jacket. Typically, I wasn’t the jealous type, but Violet had a way of making me lose all the control I had over my emotions. Something even Cat couldn’t boast about even though it was her signet. 

“Tairn says you’re right to not trust the Prince,” Sgaeyl continued. 

“Did he elaborate on why I shouldn’t trust him?” 

My curiosity about Halden and Violet’s relationship was eating me alive. 

“You two are overprotective mother hens and I do not appreciate being treated as a carrier pigeon,” she huffed. “The girl will tell you what you need to know when she’s ready. You have your own secrets, she’s entitled to her own.” 

I cringed. Sgaeyl was right, I’d kept so many things from Violet over the past eighteen months. I’d be a hypocrite to demand immediate answers from her if she wanted to leave that chapter of her life firmly in the past.  

After what felt like ages, the speeches honoring Lilith Sorrengail began. It took a great deal for us marked ones to not scoff in disgust and anger at the words of admiration. I certainly would not miss the woman who personally carved one hundred and seven cuts into my body. However, my heart did strain for the grief Violet was going through. Her relationship with her mother was complicated, to say the least, but she still loved her. And it was always hard for me to see Violet in pain, no matter how much she assured me that she was familiar with the sensation. Comfortable with it, even. 

I tensed when King Tauri took up the podium at the top of the dais to pontificate about the importance of unity and strengthening our relationships in the coming months. The miserable bastard could hardly resist the pointed looks towards Violet as if she was some prize to be won. Another artefact for him to openly parade around to the sycophants that he surrounded himself with. He and Tecarus were the same, as far as I was concerned. Although at least Tecarus made his intentions known, Tauri would be more cunning in the way he tried to keep Violet. No doubt using her personal ties to his family to his advantage. And if that wouldn’t work, he’d go after her loved ones next. 

I saw Violet squirm uncomfortably, she needed to know what they were up to and I was more than willing to shatter what remaining ties she had to this godsforsaken family. 

“He’s heard about your signet from the other generals who were present at the Battle,” I told her. “ He knows he’s been underestimating you all of these years.” 

“Carr did always say I would be a valuable weapon,” she replied with resignation. “Looks like Navarre has come to collect me.” 

A pulse of anger coursed through me. I had already damned my soul to keep Violet out of the venins grasps, I wasn’t about to lose her to the fucking Tauris. 

“Well, I hate to break it to the King and Lover Boy, they can’t have you,” Xaden seethed down the bond. 

“What the hell does he want,” she asked. Annoyance and frustration laced her tone. I followed her gaze to find Halden watching her with blatant curiosity and I was still pretty sure I could still sense a hint of longing in his eyes. I blocked him though, not wanting to open up that door that would lead to me unleashing my full fury on him. Gods, I’m a fucking mess. 

“I’m actively trying not to read his intentions towards you,” I bit back. “Not unless the royal family wants another dead prince.” 

“You can’t kill him because I slept with him years before I even knew you,” she chastised. 

I bristled at that. I had suspected that perhaps a line or two may have been crossed with some flirtation and perhaps some kissing, but Violet’s outright admission that it was a sexual history they shared made my stomach coil. The logical portion of my brain knew it was stupid to hold Violet’s past against her, but the much louder illogical part urged me to pummel the Prince until he was a bloody pulp. 

“You tried to kill Cat,” I reminded her, more coldly than I intended, but I was reaching the end of my wits and patience. “He’s lucky to still have a hand after touching your hair.” 

“You sound like Tairn,” she grumbled.

“I’m with the lieutenant on this,” Tairn chimed in. “If the princeling touches you without permission again, he will not live to see another day.”

I don’t think I ever expressed to Tairn how much I truly appreciate him. 

I held back my smirk as Violet scolded Tairn for eavesdropping and threw up her shields again to block us both out. I watched as she, Brennan, and Mira approached the funeral pyre with torches. Despite the near-constant death that surrounded us at Basgiath, I never quite fully adjusted to their tradition of burning the belongings of their loved ones. It seemed especially cruel to erase all evidence that the deceased had ever existed. Why take away proof that they were here from their loved ones? My heart strained again as I watched the emotions flood Violet’s face. I saw her meet Rhiannon’s eyes briefly, anyone who didn’t know Violet well enough would assume it was her seeking out a friendly face in the crowd for reassurance. But I could see the urgency in them as she flicked her eyes down to her hand and half a second later, I could see Matthias discreetly tucking something into the inside of her flight jacket. 

Violet undoubtedly had plucked something from the funeral pyre. Something that somebody wanted to burn away with the body of Lilith Sorrengail. Violet would probably kill me if she ever found out, but I wasn’t taking chances these days and I did a quick read of Rhiannon. 

Her secret’s safe with me. Rhiannon thought to herself. If she finds anything worth sharing she’ll tell me when she’s ready. 

I felt a surge of gratitude towards Matthias for the unconditional trust she placed in Violet. She would need friends like Rhiannon, Ridoc, and Sawyer, especially with the vultures beginning to circle and stake a claim on her. A moment later Violet and her siblings set the pyre ablaze, I watched with morbid relief as Violet’s mother slowly returned to the earth as ash. 

“Is it weird that I half expect her to pop up and say it was all a scheme to get their enemies in one spot?” Garrick muttered, not taking his eyes off the pyre. 

I knew exactly what he meant. Had I not read Melgren and Panchek’s intentions as they expressed interest in inviting leaders from Tyrrendor and Poromiel to the service, I would have laughed in their faces but after seeing the power of the wyvern and venin up close they knew we were woefully outmatched. They knew it would take the force of the full continent to fight what was coming. To fight me, if  Barlowe was right about there being no cure. 

As the fire began to dwindle, Violet and her siblings began to step away from the dais and audience members began to shuffle out of their seats and out of the great hall. I could see Violet scan the crowd, and my heart swelled as her tear-rimmed eyes brightened when she found me again. As she moved to join our small gathering of friends, a figure stepped in front of her path and I found myself once again glowering at Halden Tauri. By the look of Violet’s face, she was just as annoyed as I was but she listened to what the prince had to say. She knew just as well as I did that prying eyes were watching. With a resigned sigh, she nodded her head towards the door nearest them and met my eyes again as she began to follow Halden. 

“I’m giving him five minutes,” she informed me. “It’s either him or his father, and I like my odds of getting to stay here better if it’s Halden I talk to.” 

Every instinct in myself screamed at me to tell her not to go, but she was right. The King would find a way to get her alone one way or another. Perhaps by agreeing to Halden, Violet could buy herself more time. I gave her a terse nod and she gave me a small smile of thanks before turning her attention back to Halden and gesturing her head towards the nearest exit. When I turned to face my friends and Violet’s squad. I caught Aaric watching the doorway before muttering an excuse to Sloane and moving to the doorway that Violet and Halden just gone through.

I read Aaric. From his perspective, he was just taking a precautionary measure. He didn’t think that Halden would intentionally hurt Violet but felt it would be better to be safe rather than sorry. He spared a glance at me and his expression widened with dread as he quickened his pace. 

What the fuck did he mean by that? 

I glanced at Jesinia who also watched the younger prince with a hard look and I could sense she was half tempted to follow them as well. Sawyer noticed her discomfort as well and signed the words asking her okay. 

“I’m fine,” she signed back. “Just worried about Violet.” 

Sawyer nodded, and to Jesinia’s credit, it wasn’t a full lie. It just wasn’t the full truth either. 

“I don’t trust them. I don’t trust them. I don’t trust them.” Her thoughts looped on an endless stream. Suddenly memories of a gaunt face and miserable-looking Violet with her arm in a sling filled her memories. Violet being injured wasn’t a particularly shocking sight, but the notion that Jesinia’s distrust of the royal family conjured up that particular memory filled me with a new sense of dread. 

“Should I be worried about her being alone with the princes?” I signed to her. Earning me an eye-roll from Rhiannon, who no doubt thought I was being an overprotective, jealous ass. She wasn’t entirely wrong, but if she had my signet, she’d be reacting the exact same way. 

Jesinia eyed me warily. Not wanting to stir up trouble, but her concern for Violet seemed to outweigh any potential fallout that might come from me interrupting their conversation. 

“The younger one I trust,” she answered. “Halden…is a different story. He just…likes to get his way and Violet isn’t the same girl he knew. He always had a short temper…and then there was the whole situation with Violet’s arm-” 

“What arm situation?” I signed back, cutting Jesinia off. Her eyes widened with a mix of surprise and guilt. She thought I might have known. Violet might have indulged the hairy details of past relationships with me since we were now together. Facts that I told her I didn’t want to know. 

Suddenly, I was struck by a memory of Halden carrying a young woman into the infirmary years before. 

— 

Two Years Earlier

I had been forced to stay overnight in the infirmary due to burns I had received some runes that marked the weapons Garrick and I smuggled out earlier that day. It had been easy enough to blame the burns on some rather temperamental dragons; luckily, Nolon didn’t seem interested in further investigating my claims. Honestly, the man hardly seemed interested in treating me at all. It wasn’t hard to miss how he eyed the rebellion relic on my neck with disgust, but at least the man kept his mouth shut and stayed true to his oath of healing anyone who came through the doors. 

I just hated being holed up in the infirmary when there was so much work to be done, but Sgaeyl and Garrick were right. I was no use to them with my injuries, I’d need to heal before we could continue with our mission. Garrick, Bodhi, and Imogen were more than capable of handling themselves without me. However, our movements had been slowed the past few months with Halden Tauri poking his pompous nose around the Quadrant trying to find out what happened to his brother. 

I had no regrets about killing Alic Tauri. He was a conniving, cruel bully who would have gotten drunk on any power he wielded if he had the chance to bond with a dragon. Not to mention, he had it coming after he attacked Garrick on more than one occasion. After he made a veiled threat to a marked one’s younger brother being fostered with some lord that was a ‘close personal friend of his father’s’, I straight up confessed to Halden. Noting that he could kill me himself or have his daddy do it for him. True to the cowardly Tauri form, he slithered off with a promise that I’d pay for what I’d done. 

I’d waited patiently for leadership to haul me out for my inevitable execution, but the day never came. To my surprise, Halden didn’t tell his father about my role in Alic’s death. As much as I was curious about Halden’s motives, I had much bigger things to worry about. Such as how we were going to supply Tyrrendor and Poromiel to fight off the venin. 

It was nearing midnight when Halden came bustling through the doors with a small figure bundled in his arms. I would have assumed it was a child had it not been for the girl’s rather colourful use of swear words as she cradled her arm that slung at a limp, unnatural angle at the shoulder. Halden sensed my curious gaze as he shit me what he must have thought was a threatening glare. I rolled my eyes and gathered shadows, just in case the Prince decided to play tough guy. 

“Violet?!” Nolon called in surprise, clearly familiar with the girl that Halden brought towards him. “What happened?” 

“It — I — I had an accident,” she answered. Not quite a lie, but certainly not the entire truth. It didn’t take a genius to know who caused this girl’s little accident. I scoffed in disbelief, I may have hated Alic Tauri with every fiber of my being but at least he didn’t hurt girls.

Nolon continued to fuss over the girl as Tauri watched uselessly. The guilt radiating off of him was palpable.

“Good ,” I thought. “You should be ashamed for ripping out a girl’s arm who looks about half your size, asshole.”

“You probably don’t want to be here for this, Your Highness,” Nolon said to Tauri. More gently than the Prince deserved. 

“No – I should – I need to –” the coward. “I can stay.” 

“You really don’t want to watch this,” the girl groaned. She was tougher than she looked, I’ll give her that. “It’s okay. I’m okay . Go.” 

With a relieved sigh, Tauri nodded and moved towards the exit. Fucking coward. He couldn’t even stay to see the harm he caused? I couldn’t resist myself as he passed by my cot. 

“More like your brother than you thought, huh, Tauri?” 

Halden steps faltered as he turned to face me. His face contorted with rage and his hands formed into fists. Oh, this would be fun.

“At least, Alic tried to pick a fight with people his own size,” I continued, twisting the proverbial knife to get the reaction I wanted. 

He took the bait easily - gods, he was even easier to provoke than his asshole little brother. I could hear the girl gasp as he lunged for me but I would handle Tauri easily. 

“This is a place of healing!” Nolon shouted. “Your Highness, go find Lord Demling, he will know how to help you. Cadet, you will do well to remember who you are speaking with.” 

Halden and I glared at each other for a few beats before the Prince let out a petulant huff and stormed out of the infirmary. I could feel the girl’s gaze on me, I could sense her curiosity and even reluctant admiration that I dared to stand up to a prince. I turned my head to get a better look at her but she turned away quickly. 

“This will hurt,” Nolon warned the girl. 

“It always does,” she replied, her voice filled with resigned acceptance. Clearly, it hadn’t been her first time with such an injury. Had Halden been the cause of all of them? Or was she just accident-prone? I flinched at the girl’s cry as Nolon forced the bone back into place. I had killed people with my bare hands, but I was somehow upset by this girl’s - this stranger’s - injury?

“Take a minute to get your bearings,” Nolon told the girl gingerly after wrapping her arm. “I just want to check on a few patients here and then I can walk you back to your quarters.” 

“No need, Nolon,” a voice called from beside me. I glanced around to find Lord Demling in the doorway. Of course, Halden called in the King’s most loyal lapdog to cover up any potential fallout. “You’re a busy man, I can see to it that Violet here makes it back to her room.” 

Demling shot me a look of pure disgust and hatred, which I returned with the most shit-eating smirk I could muster. 

“That would be wonderful,” Nolon beamed, but the girl looked like she thought otherwise. “It is our busy time with the first-year cadets in the Riders Quadrants settling into their signets. Violet, you’ll be okay with Demling, won’t you?” 

The girl hesitated but knew it would be more trouble than it was worth to resist the offers.  

“Of course,” she said politely. 

Demling helped the girl gather her bags and led her from the infirmary. He didn’t say a word to her as they exited, no doubt aware of the watching eyes around him. The girl however glanced my way, still curious about who was brave enough to confront Halden. I shot her a smirk and she quickly glanced away again. I watched as her body tensed. Not in fear, but annoyance . It had been so long since someone who hadn’t known me before the apostasy hadn’t regarded me with fear or disgust. She assumed I was some nosy gossip, who couldn’t wait to spread the gossip about her and Halden around the college. She gave me what I thought she believed was an intimidating glare before turning her attention back to Demling and I couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped my lips. 

I could care less about her little royal drama. 

— 

Present Day

My jaw clenched at the memory. 

How the hell had I not recognized Violet that day at the parapet? It seemed impossible that I wouldn’t know her as soon as I saw her, but I had practically forgotten about the incident in the infirmary entirely. Halden had put his fucking hands on Violet without her permission twice now. I was going to slowly choke the life from him. Shadows began to coil around my feet, my control slipping as the rage took over. 

“Xaden?” Garrick started cautiously as he eyed the shadows. 

My self-control was utter shit today. I didn’t care though. Tauri had put Violet in the fucking infirmary . I’d gladly execute him in front of all the leaders of Navarre for what he had done. I began to stomp towards the doorway. I didn’t care if I destroyed any hope we had for a treaty with Navarre. That little weasel wouldn’t live to see another day. 

“Be smart, boy,” Sgaeyl warned. 

“If you don’t want to get your hands dirty, I’ll kill him for you,” Tairn offered. “The Little One would like a piece of him as well.” 

I threw my shields up as the roaring in my head took over. I despised that fucking family. They had taken my father. Had tried to take Garrick. And now it looks at their hooks in Violet deeper than I could have imagined. Clearly, she hadn’t told Mira about what happened or her sister would have pummeled in Halden’s face on site. Had her mother known and agreed to keep matters quiet so as not to besmirch the royal family’s name? If so, I couldn’t be happier that she was now a heap of ashes on the dais. Or did Demling threaten Violet to keep her mouth shut about the whole incident when he escorted her back to her family’s quarters? The unanswered questions fueled my rage, and now I had an inkling of what Violet must have been feeling all of those months I kept her in the dark. 

It felt like shit. 

“Are we killing another prince?” Garrick asked quietly, following closely on my trail. “Because I’m not entirely opposed to the idea, but it might complicate some things.” 

My shadows flared in response. 

“Fuck, shit,” Garrick said sidestepping the shadows in surprise. “Yep, guess we’re doing this.” 

He didn’t even need to know the whole story. Garrick knew that this loss of control meant that Halden had done something despicable that he probably deserved to be killed. He had experienced that Tauri rage first-hand. It had been the same way when I got him from Samara when I learned Violet had been taken prisoner by Varrish. He took one look at me, saw the pure rage rippling from me,  and followed me into battle. No questions asked. We could hear two male voices exchanging heated words at the end of the hall. As we approached, the two princes were in a standoff. 

“Stay the fuck out of this, Cam,” Halden hissed at Aaric, who - to my relief - stood between his older brother and Violet. The latter of which looked very bored by the whole exchange as she leaned against a window ledge with her arms folded. Her brows rose in amusement as she spotted Garrick and me at the end of the hall, her amusement faltered though as she got a better look at me and sensed the anger radiating from me. She stood straighter glancing between me and Halden with apprehension. Halden followed Violet’s gaze and his eyes narrowed into slits when he spotted us. 

“Riorson,” he greeted, not at all trying to be polite or friendly. “Should have known it wouldn’t take you long to seek us out. Word on the street is that you’re somewhat of Violet’s guard dog these days.” 

I ignored the jab as I paced closer to the pair of brothers, shoving Aaric out of the way before grabbing Halden by the collar of his tunic and shoving him against the wall. Halden’s eyes flared with a bit of pain and shock, but he quickly schooled his features as he glowered at me. 

“Xaden!” Violet gasped in surprise. I ignored her as the rage took over all of my common sense. The urge to rip Tauri limb from limb slowly took over my sanity. 

“Clearly, you don’t know Violence all that well if you think she needs my protection,” I answered him dismissively, pressing my forearm to Halden’s throat. Not pressing down hard, just enough to hold him in place. “She’s more than capable of handling herself these days. Or to you only go for girls who’s arms you can rip out?”

Halden’s eyes flared as his gaze flicked over my shoulder to where Violet stood. I pressed my forearm into his windpipe, cutting off his air supply. He thought he could look at her with betrayal after what he’d done? 

“Oh, shit,” Violet noted through the bond. “How did you -” 

The realization clicked for Violet a second later and I could feel the rush of embarrassment flood her system. As if she had anything to be ashamed of. 

“You were the cadet that was there that night,” she said, shock filling her system. 

“I forgot about it too,” I replied my own shame taking over as I glared at Tauri, who continued to struggle for air. “Jesinia thought I knew…and it triggered the memory.” 

“You’re killing him!” Aaric shouted as he lunged for us but I threw up my shadows as a shield. I didn’t care if Aaric saved Violet’s life during the battle, nothing would hold me back from killing his asshole of a brother. 

“Xaden,” Violet said gently, wrapping a soft hand over my shoulder. “Let him go. That happened a long time ago and it was an accident.” 

My shadows flared at the same words she had used two years ago. Halden’s eyes filled with real genuine fear as Aaric cursed jumping away from the shadows. Violet didn’t so much as flinch, she just gripped my shoulder firmly. 

“Unfortunately, we need him,” she continued through the bond. “I don’t like it any more than you do, but I’d rather deal with Halden than the King…who I don’t think will be open to any peace talks if you kill two of his sons.” 

“I don’t care,” I answered, pressing down even harder on Halden’s neck. He scratched at my arms trying to tear me away. 

“ I’ll care if the King tries to execute you,” she retorted, moving to my side to meet my eyes. Her own were filled with unimaginable understanding that softened my resolve. “He’s not worth it. Let him go.” 

I glared at Halden one final time before shoving off of him. The crown prince sank to the ground sputtering for air. Aaric inched closer to his brother but offered him no support. I wrapped an arm around Violet’s waist tugging her behind me back towards Garrick before squatting down to meet Halden on his level. 

“Let’s get a few things straight. The only reason that I didn’t kill you today is because Violet asked me not to,” I stated the obvious. “If I get so much as a whiff of you and your father threatening her family or friends to help support your cause, I won’t hesitate to finish what I started here today, understand?” 

Halden glared at me but nodded as he rubbed his neck. I leaned closer as my shadows coiled around us blocking out Violet, Garrick, and Aaric entirely. I could hear Aaric’s shout of surprise as I completely shielded Halden and me from view. 

“If you ever lay a hand on her again without her permission,” I continued, my voice as cold as ice. “It’s not just me you should be afraid of.” 

“Oh?” Halden replied smugly. “Who is it I should be looking out for then?” 

“Her dragons.” 

The unmistakable roar of Tairn shook the castle as he flew by and the color completely drained from Halden’s face. I smirked down at him as I dropped the shadows and turned on my heel back towards Violet and Garrick. Violet glowered at me, unimpressed, as Garrick fought back a grin. 

“Honestly, I’m shocked that you and Tairn aren’t the bonded pair with such dramatics,” she shot sarcastically. I smirked at her before wrapping my arm around her and leading her down the hall. Garrick fell easily in step beside us, leaving the princes to regather themselves after the confrontation.  

“Vi, I have to say between Aetos and Tauri, your taste in men is questionable at best,” Garrick joked. Although I didn’t entirely disagree with the sentiment - it was hard to ignore I was amongst the questionable group of men that Violet was attracted to. Violet chuckled good-naturedly. 

“No complaints about Xaden, though?” She asked. 

“He is my best friend and I love him,” Garrick began, shooting me a teasing look before continuing. “ But you were pretty convinced he was actively trying to kill you for about four months before you bonded Tairn and Andarna. So I’m not sure if that is an argument toward proving your tastes have improved.”

Violet full-on cackled as I shoved Garrick without so much as sparing him a glance. 

Garrick chuckled before dashing off to go find Imogen and Bodhi as I led Violet back to her room. Despite Garrick’s teasing defusing some of the rage and tension I’d felt, I still was simmering at the thought that Halden had hurt Violet. I wasn’t surprised that she asked me not to kill Halden. She had done the same thing after Amber Mavis orchestrated the assassination attempt of the unbonded riders after Violet had bonded Tairn. She avoided delivering Jack Barlowe’s killing blow for months and even gave instructions on how to help him after she’d poisoned him during their challenge. She even saved Cat’s life even after she had tormented Violet for months about our previous nature. Violet was not a killer by nature, not like me, she believed in second chances even for those who did not deserve one. 

I loved her for it, but when it came at the cost of her safety and well-being it drove me out of my fucking mind. 

When we got to her room, she let me pace back and forth for a bit to let me process everything and regain my control. 

“I know it’s probably the last thing you want to hear and I know how it sounds but it really was an accident,” Violet said after a few moments. “I was much more breakable before I joined the Quadrant, you know that. Even Imogen dislocated my arm, remember?” 

My shadows flared at the reminder, “Imogen was very actively trying to harm you when she did that.”

Violet cringed, “Shit. I forgot she hated my guts then.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Violet’s shoulders nearly sagged with relief. We were far from done with this conversation, but it was probably better for both of us if I calmed down before she gave me the whole history of her relationship with Halden. Matthias waited on the other side of the door, glancing between Violet and me with interest before handing a small leather-bound book to Violet. 

“Thought you might want to get your hands on this,” she explained quietly. “Talk later?” 

Violet nodded at her. “Thank you. I’ll see you at dinner.” 

“Nothing to thank me for,” Matthias replied earnestly before giving me a nod and taking off back towards her room. 

Violet closed the door and pilfered through the pages of the book. Emotion swelled in her eyes as she stared at it with recognition. 

“What is it?” I asked curiously. 

“It's…my father’s journal,” she explained, still scanning the pages. “Its the one we couldn’t find to burn on his on funeral pyre.” 

I stared at Violet, still not quite sensing what she was getting out. 

“It has notes on the research he was doing before he died,” she continued. “What he was doing with the feathertails.” 

“Okay,” I replied still not understanding what Violet was getting at before she turned the book towards me showing me a sketch of a small golden dragon with a name scrawled beneath it. 

Andarnaurram.

Chapter Text

I sighed in frustration as I shifted uncomfortably in the formal uniform. Today was the day I had been dreading for weeks. Rationally, I knew we couldn’t put the funeral service off any longer. Not if we wanted a body to put in the pyre. Despite my reservations about the burning of our dead loved ones along with their belongings — I know it’s what my mother would have wanted. 

The great hall — or what was left of it from the battle, that is, — was filled with military and state leaders from across Navarre. Shockingly, members from the Assembly and Poromiel leadership had been invited as well. According to Brennan, King Tauri was eager to broker an alliance of sorts with the two provinces now that the army of venin that prowled around our borders was public knowledge. Many civilians were understandably on edge — if a military stronghold like Basgiath could be attacked so easily, what hope did their small unprotected villages have? Navarrian leadership was doing their best to get out the message that we had the upper hand, but no one with half a brain wasn’t buying the shit they were pushing. Navarre’s leaders had lost what little credibility they had, and they were spinning in circles trying to regain control of the narrative that they once had an iron-clad grip on. 

I wasn’t surprised that King Tauri and his court were using my mother’s funeral as the leverage they needed to get an audience with Tyrrendor and Poromiel. I could barely contain my disdain during Assembly meetings and even our private family dinners. No one was more annoyed than Xaden though, who was adamant that Tecarus was only attending in order to steal me away after rumors of my efforts against the venin had also begun to spread across the continent like wildfire. And no one could blame him for not wanting to see King Tauri who had condemned Xaden’s father to death in response to his rebellion. It was possible that we would stand a chance in this war, had Tauri not executed the brave rebels that wanted to tell people the truth. 

However, it seemed like more than just Tecarus that began to take a vested interest in my signet in the days that followed the battle. Melgren, Panchek, and Dain’s dad always seemed to find a reason to drop into my private lessons with Carr to ‘check in on my progress’ with controlling and amplifying my power. Despite my efforts to explain the importance of having accuracy when attacking our enemy, Carr still seemed more concerned with trying to cause maximum damage, collateral damage be damned. I was half-tempted to ask Felix to stay in Basgiath to give me private lessons to help me work on my accuracy without a conduit, but it was unlikely that he would take that bait. 

It was barely likely that I’d be returning to Aretia with their weakened wards. Xaden was adamant that I needed to stay under the full protection of Navarre’s wards. He was certain the venin would launch an attack to get their hands on me if given half the chance. It killed me that I wouldn’t be able to return to the one place that began to feel like a real home for the foreseeable future, but I wouldn’t risk the safety of those who still lived there. 

“Gods, Mom would have been mortified to see this turnout,” Mira mutters from beside me. “She always preferred private funerals over state ceremonies.” 

It was true. Down to her core, our mother was a deeply private person and she would shutter to see that her funeral was filled by both allies and former enemies. Enemies that she has personally served ‘justice’ to at that. 

“Well, when you sacrifice yourself for the good of Navarre, I don’t think you really get a say in it,” I reply with a sigh. “But you’re right.” 

“Let’s just get through this with no major incidents. The faster it’s over, the faster we can get out of here,” Brennan murmurs as he glowers at the line of mourners approaching us. 

As the first person approaches me I try to give them a thankful smile, but I’m fairly sure that it comes out as a grimace. They all give their awkward condolences while giving me cautious looks as if I might strike them with a bolt of lightning at any given moment. I reach down the velvety night black tether of the bond for the only source that can reassure me. I wish Xaden could be standing here beside me and he would have done so if I had asked him to, but that wouldn’t be fair to him. To have him stand beside me as the people who caused the death of his father and offer their condolences for the woman who carried out the sentencing? That would be a cruelty I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

I just need to hear his voice. 

“This is agonizing,” I repeat Mira’s words through the bond. “She would have hated all of this.”  

“My father always said funerals were more for the living than the dead,” he answers. I almost snort as I stare down the line of mourners. Fen Riorson was certainly right about that, this was more for the leaders of Navarre than it was for my mother.   

“I can’t believe she’s really gone,” I admit, finally sparing a glance at the dais where my mother’s body lay and feeling a wave of nausea as the memory of her sacrifice overwhelms me. 

She gave up her life so that I would live. So the rest of Navarre could buy themselves a little bit more time before the dark wielders destroyed everything we hold dear. She wasn’t the only one who gave up everything — Xaden had given up a piece of his soul to ensure I survived as well. He felt me dying through the bond and knew that once the venin general drained him, he would come for me next. His humanity and my mother’s life were the cost of my survival. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs down the bond. 

Tears began to prick at my eyes but I blinked them away quickly. I wasn’t foolish enough to think that he was apologizing for the death of my mother. Gods knew she caused Xaden enough pain for twenty lifetimes, but I knew he hated to see me suffering. 

“Me too.”

At the end of the hall, there was a commotion and I didn’t have to glance towards the main entrance to know who was causing it. Clearly, the royal family had arrived. I wondered if Aaric was going to face them head-on or continue to hide amongst the ranks of our squad. Even if I was mad as hell at him for holding me back to stop my mother from sacrificing himself, I wouldn’t throw him back to the wolves if he was willing to stay and fight with the rest of us. He was also the only person dreading the arrival of his family as much as I was. 

I tensed as I noticed the King and Queen approaching closer from my peripheral vision. Following Brennan’s advice to not cause a scene I sink into a customary bow as they come to a halt in front of me. The Queen murmurs a polite apology to me before moving along to Brennan and Mira but King Tauri remains rooted to the spot. Growing up I knew the King was quite pompous and for a man who had never actively served in his massively military, he certainly liked to boast about his victories loudly and proudly. His bright green eyes appraised and it was hard not to feel like an insect under a microscope. Suddenly, he grasped me firmly by the shoulders. 

Oh, what the fuck?

“My dear Violet, I’m so sorry for your loss,” he began but the earnestness of his voice did not meet his eyes. “Lilith was a fierce woman and I would expect nothing less for her to die to save her children.”

I swallowed thickly before muttering a quick thank you to the King. He shot me a smarmy smile before continuing down the aisle. A tall figure stepped in front of me next and I fought every urge in me to meet their eyes.

“Violet,” Halden breathed as he came to stop in front of me and my stomach coiled uncomfortably.

It had been at least three years since I had seen him and suddenly I felt like a lovestruck seventeen-year-old girl again. Even though that girl felt like a stranger to me now. The relationship between Halden and I hadn’t been love — not really — it had been mostly infatuation and lust between two very lonely people, which had been easy to mistake for love back then. We probably could have remained friends had things not ended so horribly at the end of our little dalliance . It especially didn’t help matters that the king’s closest aide brokered my discretion about my relationship with the crown prince to avoid any awkward fallout between the king and one of his top generals. Unbeknownst to the royal advisors, I would have rather have Teine or Marbh roast me alive than come clean to my siblings about my relationship with Halden. 

“Your highness,” I muttered back, giving a stiff bow, doing my best to avoid his emerald green eyes. Not wanting to see the sympathy or gods forbid pity that would lay there. I could see him straighten at the use of his formal title as if I had struck him a physical blow. Halden continued to appraise me as if trying to decide what move could soften my resolve. 

Before I realized it, I was pulled into a tight embrace. 

“I’m so sorry about your mom,” he murmured to me. “She was a remarkable woman.” 

I spared a glance at Mira and Brennan, who shot me twin looks of confusion and bewilderment. It didn’t take long before Brennan’s eyes narrowed on Halden in suspicion and Mira’s eyebrows quirked up with a combination of admiration and disgust. I could sense the eyes of the Navarrian, Tyrish, and Poromiel leadership observing us. The sight of the crown prince publicly embracing General Sorrengail’s daughter would undoubtedly be the source of gossip, but I didn’t need to add fuel to the fire by not returning the embrace. So, despite my better judgment, I half-heartedly returned Halden’s hug before pulling away to give him a polite, amiable smile. 

“Thank you,” I said politely, finally meeting his eyes. He was just as handsome as I remembered him, but somewhat less boyish than he had been during the course of our relationship. I’m sure I looked different to him as well. 

Halden returned the smile, which three years ago would have stolen my breath away. But now? I was shocked to feel…well, nothing. It was the same lackluster feeling I had when Dain kissed me on the flight field. I spared a glance towards the line of people still waiting to give my siblings and I their condolences and thankfully Halden followed my gaze. 

“We’ll talk later,” he said quickly. Again, he moved too quickly for me to step away from his reach as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear. Sending a signal to anyone watching that we were familiar with one another. 

Although I couldn’t see Xaden, I could feel his simmering anger and maybe even a hint of jealousy down the bond.

“ Violence… ” his voice was a dark caress in my mind. 

“I’ll explain later,” I promised him. No more secrets we agreed, and if he wanted to know the whole sordid history I would give it to him. “ Although, you did say you had no interest in hearing about my exes.” 

“That’s when I thought it was some no-name infantry asshole,” he retorted. “The crown prince of Navarre is somewhat of a different.”

“Technically, you were right on the money about the infantry part though,” I answered, hoping to soften him up a bit. 

“I thought he was Mira’s age,” he continued, not even acknowledging me. “How old were you guys when —” 

“Later,” I reminded him, throwing my shields back up as one of my mother’s former aides made her way over to me to shake hands and sing her praises of our mother to us. This continued for an hour before the formal ceremony started. None of my siblings had opted to give speeches, after all the secrets she had kept from us, it didn’t feel right for us to eulogize her. She kept her real self hidden away from us so that we might have a shot at surviving. She gave up her life so that I would live before I could get any real answers from her. 

Instead, we gave the honor to our mother’s colleagues and the Navarrian leadership. King Tauri gave a rousing overview of our mother’s military leadership — although he was sure to downplay her involvement in the rebellion six years ago given the presence of the leaders from Tyrrendor and Poromiel in the audience — and he thanked her tirelessly for her sacrifice to reestablish the wards during the battle. The king’s eyes fell on me briefly as if it was his first time ever really seeing me. The thought was preposterous — he knew me relatively well during the years our family had been stationed at Calldyr. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and the king’s eyes darted back to the crowd as he launched into the importance of unity in the months to come. His speech was less about our mother, and more about gaining allies. 

“He’s heard about your signet from the other generals who were present at the Battle,” Xaden informed me. “He knows he’s been underestimating you all of these years.” 

Suddenly, Halden’s warm words and open display of affection made all the sense in the world. Navarre’s leadership wanted to show they had deep personal ties to me and wanted to stake their claim that I might feel a sense of loyalty to them. It was one of the many reasons that my relationship with Halden fell apart, everything to the Navarrian leadership was a game. 

“Carr did always say I would be a valuable weapon,” I reminded him. “Looks like Navarre has come to collect me.” 

I felt rage surge down the bond, not only from Xaden but from Tairn and Andarna as well. 

“Well, I hate to break it to the King and Lover Boy, they can’t have you,” Xaden seethes. 

I could feel another gaze on me and turned my head to see Halden observing me from across the room. I snapped my head back to the dais where his father was still speaking. 

“What the hell does he want,” I asked Xaden. No one loved to play political mind games more than Halden and honestly whatever agenda he was pushing for was at the very bottom of my priority list between helping Xaden. 

“I’m actively trying not to read his intentions towards you,” Xaden bit back. “Not unless the royal family wants another dead prince.” 

“You can’t kill him because I slept with him years before I even knew you,” I shot back. 

“You tried to kill Cat,” he argues. He had me there — and while Cat and I were far from being friends — we did come to a relative truce of sorts following the battle. “He’s lucky to still have a hand after touching your hair.” 

“You sound like Tairn,” I teased. 

“I’m with the lieutenant on this,” Tairn growled through the bond. “If the princeling touches you without permission again, he will not live to see another day.”

Fuck , I didn’t need Tairn and Andarna sifting through my memories of my relationship with Halden or they really would turn him into a heap of ash. 

“Butt out, you mother hen,” I scolded Tairn before throwing up an iron-clad shield. I couldn’t keep Tairn out if he wanted to get in, but he usually respects my boundaries. I would tell them all the necessary details of my relationship with Halden. The petty drama and harsh words that Halden and I exchanged at the end wouldn’t do anyone any good. 

Finally, King Tauri concluded his speech and gave a nod to my siblings and me to approach the dais. Brennan led us up the stairs, he gave Mira a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder before his eyes met mine. I could read the questions in them. 

Are you okay? What the hell was that scene with Halden? 

I gave him an imperceptible shake of my head and his jaw clenched, but he knew this wasn’t the place or time to get the answers he was seeking. Mira handed each of us a torch, silent tears streamed down her face. Brennan remained stoic as he gazed down at my mother’s body, but I could see the anguish in his eyes. Undoubtedly broken by all the unspoken words he would never get to say to our mother. We’d all be haunted by the secrets we kept from one another over the past six years and the secrets our mother kept died with her. 

Shaking the thought from my mind, I moved to my spot on the right side of the pyre as Mira flanked the left and Brennan went to stand at my mother’s feet. The priestess said a few more words, commending our mother’s soul to Malek. As I gazed down at my mother, tears began to prick my eyes. I knew the majority of the people in this room did not mourn her loss — a few of them were some of my closest friends — but that did not stop the ache in my chest. My mother had never been a stereotypical maternal presence in my life and over the past six years, that relationship had become even more strained. Despite all of the pain and suffering she had caused, she was still my mom. She had done more horrible things to ensure my safety in the Riders Quadrant. She sacrificed herself so that I might live.

As tears flood my eyes, I notice a small book near my mother’s hand. By the lack of a title on the spine of the book and the worn leather cover, I realized it wasn’t a book but a journal.  I spare a glance at my siblings but they were too lost in their grief to meet my eyes. Before I could think better of it, I discreetly snatched the journal from the pyre. I scan the crowd for Rhi, sending a prayer to Amari that she would be able to read the plea in my eyes. It didn’t take long before I found her warm, brown eyes filled with sympathetic tears watching me. She gives me an encouraging smile that falters when she senses my distress. I flick my eyes down to my left hand that held the book hidden behind the pyre and gave my shoulder a roll. Anyone in the crowd would read it as my body growing tired of holding a heavy torch, at least those who still thought of me as the general’s weakling daughter. 

However, Rhi understood completely and I felt the weight of the journal disappear from my hands. I didn’t deserve her as a friend. She gave me her complete, undiluted trust and gave me the space to give her the answers she needed in my own time. If there weren’t hundreds of eyes watching me at the moment, I would have flashed her a grateful smile but we were surrounded by vultures that would exploit our friendship for their gain. 

Instead, I nod to my siblings and we place our torches on the fire. I bit back the sob that threatened to escape and stared at the flames. I wouldn’t let the people in this room see me break. I wouldn’t give in to their assumptions that I was still the general's weakling daughter. In the back of my mind, I feel Xaden’s comforting dark power giving me a reassuring caress down the bond. Mira and I move to stand by Brennan, who wastes no time discarding his torch to hold both of us tightly. He had always fallen into the role of being our unofficial third parent long before our parents died. With mom either being away on the front lines and dad cooped up in his study doing research, Brennan always took care of me and Mira. He wasn’t there when Dad died, but he’d be there for us now. Despite his conflicting feelings about our mother. 

As the pyre begins to die down, I glance at my siblings. Mira has tear tracks staining her cheeks and while I can see the tears in Brennan’s eyes he doesn’t let them fall. I hug him tightly. He may not be ready to face his feelings right now but I’ll be here for him whenever he’s ready to talk about it. We move from the dais and the crowd is already beginning to filter out of the Great Hall. I scan the room searching for the one person that will bring me any comfort right now. Relief flooded my system as I found Xaden’s gold-flecked eyes gazing back at me. Before I could take a step towards him, someone stepped in front of me and I had to physically restrain myself from rolling my eyes as I looked up at Halden. 

“What do you want, Halden?” I ask. Because honestly what the hell could he want from me? Unless his father sent him to do his bidding for him, I couldn’t imagine what we have to talk about anymore. 

“Listen, I just need five minutes in private,” he answers, his gaze fixed on me. I was half surprised that he wasn’t glancing around to note who was lingering behind to spy on our conversation. “I know things between us ended…poorly but there are things you need to know and understand before any negotiation talks begin.”

I have seen Halden lie and bluff countless times to get what he wants and by the look in his eye, I can tell he is telling me the truth. Not to mention, Xaden already knew the King intended to keep me as a weapon so any information I could glean from Halden could only help our cause. I huff a frustrated sigh before giving a pointed nod to the doorway behind Halden. He gives me a relieved smile before hustling out of the room. I glance back at Xaden who is watching us intently. 

“I’m giving him five minutes. It’s either him or his father, and I like my odds of getting to stay here better if it’s Halden I talk to,” I tell him. 

I can see the storm brewing behind his eyes. No doubt every single one of his instincts is screaming at him to not let me out of his sight but this will have to happen sooner or later. To my surprise, he gives me a curt nod and I shoot him a grateful smile as I follow Halden. We walk down a small flight of stairs to a corridor that I know is hardly ever used. No one is likely to come down here today of all days either - most people were probably heading back to their dorms or the post-funeral luncheon. I settle on a window ledge as Halden uncharacteristically paces the hallway. I’ve never seen him so nervous before. Part of me wonders if it's an act to let my guard down and let him gain my trust again. I’d like to think Halden wasn’t that vindictive, but if Aaric was to be believed, he was complicit in keeping Navarre’s secrets. He knew countless people were dying beyond the border and sat by with the rest of our leaders. 

Halden takes a steadying breath before he turns to face me and I arch an expectant eyebrow at him. 

“You look good, Vi,” he begins and I wrinkle my nose at him. 

Really? That’s where he wants to begin. 

“Thank you,” I replied tersely. “Turns out a year and a half in the riders quadrant can really do wonders for a person.” 

Halden chuckles and shakes his head, “I could hardly believe your mother when she told us you joined the riders. You were such a shoe-in for the scribes…my father said Markham was beside himself with rage when he found out. He wanted you to be his protege, you know.” 

“So I’ve heard. I’m sure he was pissed that he would need to find a new cadet to groom to keep Navarre’s secrets,” I say. He looks startled by the coldness in my voice. “If your brother is to be believed, you needed no convincing at all to keep up the charade.” 

Halden’s jaw goes slack as he stares at me. 

“You’ve seen Cam?” 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

Cam - well Aaric if we were using his preferred name - had gone to such lengths to escape his family and I betrayed his secret in less than five minutes. I’m sure it would have been difficult for him to stay hidden with the full court here, but I could have just kept my big mouth shut.

“He joined the quadrant back in July,” I tell him. Halden’s eyes widen and darken with anger. “He used a fake name at parapet. Dain and I asked him if he was sure. He said he was where he needed to be.” 

Halden spits out a curse and stalks toward the opposite wall. I stay where I am. The last time I saw Halden in a mood like this, it did not end well for me. Halden drags a hand over his face before fixing me with a glower. 

“And you and Dain didn’t think it was wise to write us and let us know what Cam was doing?” He seethes. 

His condescending tone sends waves of anger through me. I can feel electricity coming through me and before I can reach for the orb sparks flash from my hands. I take a deep breath and ball my hands in fists to take control of my power. Halden’s eyes flash to my hands and I can see the hint of fear in them as he backs away another step when he opens his mouth to speak again, his tone is much softer. 

“My mother has been beside herself with worry for months, Vi,” he continues. “She was convinced that he was kidnapped by rebel forces, but my father knew Cam was just having one of his hissy fits. We didn’t think he was dumb enough to join the fucking riders quadrant.” 

“He did it so he could help people who couldn’t protect themselves,” I retorted, suddenly feeling extremely defensive of his younger brother. “Which is a hell of a lot more than what you and your father have been doing.” 

Halden gives me a pitying look like I’m a child before placing his hands on his hips. 

“Don’t play naive, Violet, we both know you’re smarter than that,” he shoots back. “If we told civilians about what was waiting for them beyond our borders, there would be mass hysteria. Keeping people in the dark was the safest option.” 

“But that safety was a myth wasn’t it?” I counter. “There are some venin within our wards that slipped through the cracks, aren’t there? Did you hear about a cadet in our quadrant Jack Barlowe? He turned venin even before I had to kill him during War Games, which means there has to be a Sage within our borders. Someone who taught him how to channel.” 

My suspicions are confirmed when the blood leeches from Halden’s face. My heart sinks to my stomach with dread. I wanted him to prove me wrong. 

“There were rumors but…we didn’t know for sure until Nolon began sending reports on Barlowe,” Halden admits. I’m shocked he’s telling me the truth but my blood starts to run cold at another realization with Halden’s words. 

My mother was in Calldyr when Nolon and Varrish held me captive. Surely if they were reporting on Jack’s status on a venin, they were also reporting that the royal vaults in the Archives had been breached. Undoubtedly the King would want to know about the thief that was captured. If the King ordered my mother to stay longer so that Varrish could have more time to get the answers he needed…

“Did Nolon send any other reports?” 

Halden goes as still as a statue. His eyes darted back towards my hands. I clasped onto the conduit, not trusting myself to lose control of my power. 

“Markham let us know that the vault had been breached,” he begins. “The reports that it was you that broke in came in a day later. No one could figure out how you got in but knowing Cam was here answers that mystery.” 

“Do you know what they did to me?” 

I don’t know how my voice stayed so even. The revelation that Halden knew that Varrish was torturing me for days on end and my mother was just steps away from him, but he said nothing was enough to bring me to my knees. I thought he respected me enough not just to stand by and let me get killed. 

“Vi…” he started. He had the fucking nerve to sound choked up. “I knew you would never willingly betray Navarre and hurt people. I tried to explain to my father that Riorson had probably manipulated you to get back at your mother.” 

Heat coursed through me. I clutched the conduit with all the strength I could muster. He knew and he did nothing to help me.  

“We were trying to raise the wards beyond Navarre, so we could help people who were most at risk,” I hissed at him. “You’re right. I never wanted to bring down Navarre’s wards but I wasn’t just going to sit by and let people die just because they were unlucky enough to live outside our borders.” 

Devastation crossed Halden’s face and he reached for me. I stood firm ready to strike him if need be but a voice called out from down the hall.

“Leave her alone, Halden.” 

We both turned to find Aaric striding towards us. Halden froze as if he was seeing a ghost and Aaric just glared at his older brother as he placed himself between us. 

“Cam - “ Halden began but Aaric cut him off sharply. 

“Shut up,” he started. His voice was as cold and quiet as death. “Is it true? You knew they were torturing Violet for information and you didn’t do anything?” 

Halden stuttered trying to find the words. He glanced at me for help that he would not find. I just stared back at him expectantly. 

“What could I have done? You know how father is when he gets into one of his moods,” he argues. As if there was any justification for what happened to me. “He was convinced Violet was a traitor. The signs all pointed to one thing. That the rebels were trying to drop the wards to sneak through our borders.” 

Aaric shoved Halden, and the older brother staggered back in shock. Either he was not used to being the recipient of his brother’s anger, or he was surprised at the strength he had gained in the past six months. 

“I knew you were spineless when it came to father, but I never pegged you as a true coward,” Aaric spat. “You want to know what she looked like when Riorson pulled her out of those chambers? Her face was so bruised and swollen that none of us even knew it was her until she started talking.”

Halden flinched as I cringed at the memory. Neither Dain nor Xaden had recognized me when they found me in Varrish’s torture chamber. I can’t imagine the shock of the rest of the quadrant when they saw my injuries. 

“I…didn’t know it was that bad,” Halden whispers. Aaric scoffed in response. 

“Varrish’s reputation wasn’t exactly sterling before he got to Basgiath,” he notes. “You knew and you did nothing. You should have told Violet’s mother as soon as you found out.” 

A muscle in Halden’s jaw ticked as he glared at his younger brother and his gaze softened a bit when he glanced back at me. Fuck that, I didn’t need his pity. If he thought I would play nicely with Navarre after they willingly let Varrish torture me - gods help them all if Xaden found out. He would kill them all at the negotiation table. 

“I can’t change the past Cam,” Halden explained. “You’re right I should have told Violet’s mother when I learned of it. I fucked up.” 

“Not the first time you fucked up when its come to Violet’s safety though is it?” Aaric shot back. 

I kept my features schooled as Halden’s green eyes flared. I should have known that Aaric would have known about how my and Halden’s relationship came to a disastrous end. The court would want to have their stories in order if I ever chose to speak out about what had happened between Xaden and I. Halden did fuck up three years ago, but it was an accident. 

“What is it that you and father actually want with her?” Aaric asks his older brother. I’m honestly shocked that he has the guts to just come out and ask the question. “We both know you wouldn’t make a show of asking Violet to speak in private without his express permission. Maybe even his encouragement.” 

Halden stalks closer to Aaric his eyes turning that hunter-green shade that was a key indicator that he was rapidly losing the hold he has on his temper. While I did want to hear Halden’s answer, I was growing increasingly annoyed by the family drama unfolding in front of me. 

“Stay the fuck out of this Cam,” he hisses at his younger. If it were me facing down Halden’s rage like this I would have backed down or tried to calm him down. To Aaric’s credit, he doesn’t give Halden an inch. I hear footsteps approaching us and turn to find Xaden stalking towards us with Garrick hot on his heels. I almost want to laugh that Xaden lasted as long as he did giving Halden and me more than five minutes alone but when I spot the ire in his face my amusement falters.  

“Riorson,” Halden sneers and I’m half tempted to strike him with a bolt of lightning for his tone.  “Should have known it wouldn’t take you long to seek us out. Word on the street is that you’re somewhat of Violet’s guard dog these days.” 

Guard dog? Alright, fuck this guy. I’m about to release the conduit to demonstrate to Halden how I am perfectly capable of protecting myself but Xaden beats me to the punch as he shoves Aaric aside to grab Halden around the neck before slamming him against the wall. I can see the pain register in Halden’s face for half a second before he composes himself to glare at Xaden. There is nothing but pure hatred radiating between the two men as they glower at one another. 

“Xaden!” I gasp, glancing at Garrick for an explanation but he merely gives me a shrug as he watches Xaden warily. Garrick gives a small shake of his head to Aaric who looks inclined to step in to defend his brother. 

“Clearly, you don’t know Violence all that well if you think she needs my protection,” Xaden tells Halden as he presses his forearm to Halden’s throat. His voice is cold and deadly. “She’s more than capable of handling herself these days. Or do you only go for girls whose arms you can rip out?”

Oh, shit. 

My jaw falls open in shock. Halden’s eyes meet mine in equal surprise and I feel a surge of annoyance that there is a hint of disappointment in his gaze. He choked a gasp as Xaden pressed his arm deeper into his throat. This didn’t make any sense. There was no way that Xaden could have known about Halden dislocating my arm. 

“How did you -” I begin but the memories of that night begin to swirl in my brain. It wasn’t just me, Nolon, and Halden in the infirmary that night. There had been a fourth person there, who had seen what happened. Who had taunted Halden about Alic’s death and what he had done to me? Heard my screams when Nolon put my shoulder back into place. Whose face I couldn’t see because he was cloaked in shadows. 

Oh gods, I’m such an idiot. How did I not realize this sooner? 

“You were the cadet that was there that night.” 

“I forgot about it too,” he admits, not taking his eyes off of Halden who was gulping for air like a fish out of water. “Jesinia thought I knew…and it triggered the memory.” 

Fuck, I forgot she had seen us that night too. We never talked about it after it happened. She was a good enough friend to give me the space that I needed or she was wise enough to know that the Tauri’s aides had encouraged me to keep my mouth shut about everything. 

“You’re killing him!” Aaric yells as he lunges for Xaden and Halden but Xaden throws up a shield to block the younger prince from intervening. Shit, this would not be good if Xaden killed Halden. Two dead princes would definitely result in King Tauri executing him. 

There was no rational explanation for it, but something told me that Xaden’s shadows would let me through the shield. Only me. 

“Xaden,” I say gently as I grab onto his shoulder. To give him something to anchor to rather than letting his overwhelming rage consume him. “Let him go. That happened a long time ago and it was an accident.” 

His shadows flare and I can hear Aaric’s shout of surprise, but I know they won’t hurt me. He could never hurt me. I just continued to hold him, to let him know I wasn’t afraid of him. Halden wasn’t worth the trouble his death would cause and now we had the leverage we needed to get him to help us because if Xaden knew that Halden had knowledge of my capture and torture he’d snap his neck. Halden’s self-preservation was unrivalled.  

“Unfortunately, we need him,” I tell them through the bond. “I don’t like it any more than you do, but I’d rather deal with Halden than the King…who I don’t think will be open to any peace talks if you kill two of his sons.” 

“I don’t care,” he replies as he applies more pressure to Halden’s throat. Halden thrashes and claws at Xaden’s arms. I glance at Aaric who gives me a pleading look. 

“ I’ll care if the King tries to execute you,” I tell him as I move to his side, forcing him to meet my own. I wouldn’t love him any less if he killed Halden, but I wouldn’t let him put himself in more danger to keep me safe. “He’s not worth it. Let him go.” 

Xaden’s eyes soften as he gazes back at me. He throws a withering look at Halden before shoving away from him. Halden collapses to the ground as he gasps for air. Xaden pushes me back towards Garrick who comes to stand firmly in front of me. I give him a sour look and he does at least give me an apologetic smile that tells me he knows I can handle myself but its better for Xaden’s sanity if he plays the part of the bodyguard momentarily. 

I watch as Xaden crouches down to Halden’s level. Halden gingerly rubs at his neck as he glares up at Xaden. 

“Let’s get a few things straight. The only reason that I didn’t kill you today is because Violet asked me not to,” Xaden says, his voice is so dark it’s as if Dunne himself was speaking.  “If I get so much as a whiff of you and your father threatening her family or friends to help support your cause, I won’t hesitate to finish what I started here today, understand?” 

I feel a surge of gratitude and love at his words. Of course, Xaden’s protection would extend to those I love. Halden has the good sense to keep his eyes on Xaden before he nods in agreement. Suddenly a wall of shadow blocked them both from view and sound. Aaric cried out in surprise as Garrick and I exchanged worried glances. 

What the hell was Xaden saying to Halden that he didn’t want the rest of us to hear or see?

“You’ll find out in a moment,” Tairn says, his voice laced his malice amusement. 

I’m about to ask him what he means by that, but a second later a deafening roar rattles the castle. 

“That was a bit over the top, don’t you think?” I ask Tairn. 

“Over the top would be eating the prince whole and letting him rot slowly in my stomach,” Tairn replies, not a hint of remorse in his voice. I roll my eyes. 

Xaden’s shadows fall away and Halden is white as a sheet, practically frozen with fear. Garrick snickers beside me and I shoot him a glare.  Xaden turns back to me with a triumphant smirk. Overprotective assholes. All of them. 

“Honestly, I’m shocked that you and Tairn aren’t the bonded pair with such dramatics,” I grumble. Xaden’s smirk deepens as he throws an arm around me leading us out of the corridor. 

“Vi, I have to say between Aetos and Tauri, your taste in men is questionable at best,” Garrick quips from beside me. I let out a snort because, honestly, he isn’t wrong about my previous choices. 

“No complaints about Xaden, though?” I ask, earning myself a glower from Xaden. 

“He is my best friend and I love him,” Garrick muses, shooting Xaden a mischievous look. “But you were pretty convinced he was actively trying to kill you for about four months before you bonded Tairn and Andarna. So I’m not sure if that is an argument toward proving your tastes have improved.”

The bluntness of his statement startles a laugh from me and Xaden simply shoves Garrick away from us as he leads us back to my room. 

I can still feel the rage radiating from Xaden. While we’ve promised each other complete honesty moving forward, I have the common sense to know that this would not be the moment to reveal that Halden knew what Varrish and Nolon had done to me and chose to do nothing to stop it. I would tell him eventually. Probably when Halden and the court returned to Calldyr there was less of a chance that he would chase him down and kill him with his bare hands. When we get back to my room, he continues to pace. His shadows coil around the floor ready to strike at any perceived threat, but they stay at his command. 

I envy the control he has over himself and his power, but even I can tell that his infamous control is fraying. 

“I know it’s probably the last thing you want to hear and I know how it sounds but it really was an accident,” I say in an attempt to ease his tension. “I was much more breakable before I joined the Quadrant, you know that. Even Imogen dislocated my arm, remember?” 

The shadows surge, telling me that was the exact opposite of what he needed to hear right now.  

“Imogen was very actively trying to harm you when she did that,” he retorts with a bemused look in his eyes. 

“Shit,” I grimace. “I forgot she hated my guts then.”

This is true, I now consider Imogen one of my closest friends. I forgot there was a time she had been actively trying to kill me. Xaden continued to stare at me expectantly and I had no clue where to begin with the whole Halden debacle. 

As if on cue, there was a gentle knock at the door and I had to repress my sigh of relief before padding over to the door. I found Rhi waiting for me with a curious look as she held the journal I had her summon from the pyre. Her eyebrow cocks in interest as she takes in Xaden’s clearly distressed and brooding demeanour. I shoot her a look that I hope tells her that I will explain everything later and unsurprisingly she understands immediately, handing me the journal with no further questions. 

“Thought you might want to get your hands on this,” she says. “Talk later?” 

I could kiss Rhi for being the best person to ever exist. 

“Thank you,” I replied, giving her a grateful smile.  “I’ll see you at dinner.” 

“Nothing to thank me for,” Rhi answers earnestly before giving Xaden a nod and taking off back towards her room. 

I shut the door behind me as I gently open up the book. As I flip through the pages, I am startled to find that I recognize the handwriting as well as my own. It’s my dad’s journal filled with notes upon notes of feathertails and hatchlings. I forgot that Dain’s father had mentioned that he was researching feathertails before he passed, but they were having a hard time finding his research. Clearly whoever cleared my mother’s office wanted this research to die with my parents. 

“What is it?” Xaden asks as he inches closer to get a better look at the journal. 

“It's…my father’s journal,” I reply, still sifting through the notes. “Its the one we couldn’t find to burn on his on funeral pyre.” 

I turn another page and freeze at what I find. It's a small sketch of a hatchling. It's a crude black-and-white drawing that doesn’t reveal the color of the dragon, but it’s the name that is written beneath it that makes my blood run cold. 

Andarnaurram.

But that doesn’t make any sense. How could she…how could they know each other? 

“I waited until your eighteenth year to watch,” Andarna had told me once. She had known about me. I didn’t know how, but it must have been my dad that had told her all about me. That’s why she waited. She must have known my father before she hatched and in the short months that she had been alive before he died. 

Why didn’t she ever tell me? 

“It has notes on the research he was doing before he died,” I explain, but my bewilderment is still running rampant. “What he was doing with the feathertails?” 

I gaze up at Xaden who is staring back at me with confusion and concern. 

“Okay,” he replies gently. I can tell he isn’t comprehending why I am so upset so I hand him the journal to show him what I found. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise before he looks back at me. “Well, this just got a hell of a lot more confusing.” 

I huff a laugh of agreement, but I feel the familiar sense of betrayal trickling in again. Why was it I was always the last to find out about everything? Why could no one in my life ever just give me the full truth? My mother lied to me about why she forced me to join the riders. Tairn had lied about the venin. Brennan lied about being dead. Andarna had lied about knowing my dad. Xaden…I didn’t want to even think about all of the time he had to lie to me. Whether it was either for his own preservation or for the sake of the rebellion. 

As if he could sense the storm brewing inside of me, Xaden set down the journal and tucked me into his arms. Holding me firmly against his chest. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and buried my face into his chest, breathing in the scent of mint and leather. He propped his chin on top of my head as he stoked my braid reassuringly. 

“I think I know something that might distract you from this latest revelation,” he offers. I peel my head back to look at him and cock an eyebrow. 

“Oh?” 

His eyes darken a bit as he gazes back at him, “Yeah, you can tell me all about your little relationship with that asshole.” 

I roll my eyes as I shove him away playfully. 

“Fine, but you’re not gonna like what you hear.”