Chapter Text
Face flushed; Reiko stumbled up the stairs. Despite the long walk back from Rui’s bar, she was still dizzy from the effects of the anomalous cocktails she’d drunk. Rui, Haru and Romeo had all been bantering and harassing one another like old friends. She didn’t know how they knew one another; she knew so little about the relationships in this place. Everyone just expected her to fumble through blind while they refused to tell her anything. She crawled up the steps to her attic bedroom. Music. She needed music. Music always helped with the drunken bad thoughts. She reached for her phone, patting down all her pockets. Not there. Did she leave it at Ruis? She didn’t remember taking it out there. Maybe at Mortkranken before that?
Not that it mattered anyway now that she thought about it. All her playlists were on her other phone. Her real phone. The one they took away from her. With the life they had taken away from her. She let herself collapse on the top step resting her forehead on the floor. Probably better she didn’t have it anyway. No need to scroll through her old text messages with Jin as she was wont to do when depressed. Staring at the last date he’d contacted her. After being reassigned to Vagastrom he’d basically ghosted her. Rolling her forehead back and forth across the floor, she hummed the song they’d danced to at the Frostheim ball. He’d sent for her pretty much daily after that, multiple times daily usually. She’d felt like she was making progress, not having to walk on eggshells, understanding his mood swings, finding when talking back would earn her that delicious smirk and when it would earn her a sharp reprimand. That constantly leaning close but I’m not quite touching dance they did. Then poof. Just gone. Not a word.
The day she and Luca had caused that uproar at the pit. She’d felt sorry for Luca, the way Jin tore into him. But she’d also felt secretly happy that Jin had given a shit whether or not Luca had been looking after her, that Jin cared what happened to her. But after she’d started being assigned to other houses, nothing. Luca and Kaito would still hang out with her, Tohma still occasionally had her run errands. But from Jin silence.
“He didn’t care what happened to you idiot, you were just an object lesson for a ghoul under his command.” She murmured. Reiko buried her face in her arms. Useless. Burden. Dead weight. “Idiot” she whispered.
***Before***
“What…? Ah, the ashes are burning on the floor!” Reiko dropped to her knees to begin patting the little embers that were what was left of the form Jin had set on fire. She looked around wildly realizing she had nothing but her bare hands to pat it out with. Jin ignored her obvious distress, swaggering over to his bed.
“I’m taking a nap, wake me up in an hour.”
“But the paper is still on fire! We can’t just leave it like this!”
“Then clean it up.” Jin glared at her. “Wash my shirt while you’re at it. Some of the soot got on it.” He started unbuttoning his shirt. Most bootlickers would take this as an invitation, a chance to try to weasel their way into his bed. Jin was looking forward to shutting her down when she tried, he’d shown her favor with the dance at the ball, but he didn’t want her thinking she could get to above herself. Instead, she threw her hands over her eyes.
“St-Stop! If you’re going to change, I’ll wait outside until you’re done!”
Jin paused in shock, was she serious? What was she five? Should he be offended right now? He kind of felt offended. This was not the reaction he was used to when taking his clothes off. “Is griping all you’re good at?” he knelt down getting right up next to her, tugging her hands away from her face. “I want this room and my shirt cleaned within the hour.”
“What?? But I’m…” her eyes were darting everywhere trying to look at anything but him as she stuttered.
No fawning, no seducing, no looking for excuses to kiss his ass. Was she seriously trying to run away from him? Him?? He leaned just a bit closer, watching the flush in her cheeks darken. “Don’t think you can defy me, get to it servant.”
Reiko very determinedly kept her eyes from wandering to his bare chest even though he’d gotten more than close enough for her to try to make any sort of move. Her eyes fell to the smoldering bit of carpet. Using the sleeve of her uniform jacket she snuffed out the little embers singeing her sleeve in the process.
Ahhh shit. He’d have to get her a new one.
“You’ve got an hour.” He grumbled standing up and heading back towards his bed. She scrambled out of the room clutching his shirt. She didn’t look back once.
Was she really that scared of him? For some reason that pissed him off more than anything.
***Now***
Jiro carefully put away the equipment he had been sterilizing. Bzzt bzzt. He checked his phone. Nothing.
Bzzt Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.
He went back to sterilizing.
Bzzt Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.
“Buzz buzz buzz buzz! Jiro answer your fucking phone before I go crazy!!!” Yuri shouted from the other side of the room where he hovered over one of his experiments.
Jiro looked up head tilted to the side. “My phone isn’t buzzing Yuri.”
“Well find out what is and shut it up!” Yuri snapped irritably.
Jiro put down what he was working on and followed the sound to the patient table. Ah, there it was. Reiko’s phone was buzzing away with incoming text messages. He glanced at the screen showing the text previews:
Rui: Reiko where did you go?
Rui: Sorry if the guys were too unruly
Rui: Please don’t tell me you walked home alone
Rui: Hey can you let me know ur ok?
Rui: Do you need me to meet you and walk with you the rest of the way back?
Rui: Did you make it back??
Rui: *Crying cat sticker*
Rui: Can you let me know if ur safe?
The honor student had come by the lab earlier in severe emotional distress. They had been discussing her ability to enhance stigmas and her worry over not knowing how it worked. He’d asked her some basic questions regarding her concerns around the issue. Most of it stemmed from insults she’d received from one of the Vagastrom ghouls. However he and Yuri had more pressing priorities scheduled for the day, so they’d agreed to set an appointment to work on her ability later before sending her on her way.
“Yuri, patient 697 Reiko Minami has left her phone here. One of the ghouls appears to be quite alarmed at his inability to contact her. What should I do?” He held up the still buzzing phone.
Yuri looked up from the beaker he was swirling with a glare. “I don’t care what you do with it, just make it shut up!” he slammed the beaker down. “Whichever parasite it is deserves some distress sniffing around my test subject like that.” Suddenly Yuri froze, cheeks turning pink. “What time is it? Who the hell is messaging her this late??? Jiro. Go check on her. I mean go return her phone.”
Jiro sighed. It would be troublesome to walk all the way to the cathedral just to return a phone.
*** Before***
Tohma: So what do you think of Reiko’s work ethic? I heard she had the misfortune of being ordered to wash your shirt.
Jin: You left that form in my room on purpose didn’t you
Tohma: Whatever do you mean? My exhaustion must be getting the best of me. Please forgive my shameful error
Jin: She’s always walking on eggshells around me. It’s annoying
Tohma: I’m relieved to hear you’re getting along so well. I’ve been considering giving her a portion of my work from here on out.
Tohma: Do treat her with care won’t you? We don’t want her breaking.
Jin: Fuck off out of my business. I’m going to sleep. Don’t wake me up till tomorrow
Tohma: Very well. Rest up.
***
Jin was headed back to his rooms after running some sword forms in the Frostheim training arena. It was one of the rare days that he hadn’t been feeling unwell when he woke and had decided to make the most of it. He frowned in annoyance when he saw a student in the middle of the hallway dithering about as if unsure what to do.
“You’re in my way. Move.” He growled.
She spun around, it was the honor student. “Jin..!” she squeaked backing against the wall out of his way.
“What’s all this garbage?” he raised his eyebrow looking at the shattered mess on the floor she’d been fretting over.
“This vase was already broken when I got here.” She blurted out.
Jin kept himself from barking out a laugh. Any worry he’d previously harbored about the possibility of her being a manipulative little shit flying out the window. She was a shit liar. A really shit liar.
“Was it now? Then how did you know it was a vase?” he smirked crossing his arms.
“Urk… I’m sorry… It looked expensive. I’m not sure I can afford to pay for it…” she bit her lip, her eyes glued to the floor.
“I’ll cover it.”
She looked up. What was that expression, gratitude? Just sweet wide-eyed relief painted on her face.
“But you better work hard to pay me back servant.” He added hastily.
She nodded eagerly, was that almost a smile on her face?
“She’s here sniffing around Jin again? God she’s so shameless.” A group of students were passing an intersection farther down the hallway, whispering to each other. The students cast furtive looks at the two of them as they passed, obviously thinking they were being quieter than they were. Voices carried in Frostheims echoing halls.
That tiny almost smile shattered, her face suddenly looking pained as her eyes glued themselves to the floor again. She pressed herself back against the wall like she wanted it to swallow her.
The shitty gossiping again, just like at the ball. He shot an icy glare down the hallway that sent the other students in the area scattering. He’d thought that by choosing her at the ball he’d sent the message that she was allowed to be here and shut down the gossip about her. Had he actually made it worse?
“I should go.” She turned to scurry the other direction down the hallway away from the other students.
“I didn’t dismiss you.” Jin snapped. He flinched inwardly and how hard she flinched outwardly at his tone. Didn’t she realize it wasn’t her he was irritated with?
“You owe me remember. I have work for you to do, you’re coming with me.”
Irritatingly she still refused to look up at him. “I’m supposed to be going to…”
“You’re schedule’s not my problem. Just arrange it around me.” He dismissed her protest before she could finish.
She shifted nervously. “But Tohma told me to…”
Jin grabbed her by the chin forcing her to finally look up and make eye contact with him. “And whose orders do you think hold more weight then?” he asked coldly. Really? She’s going to go running to Tohma?
“Y..y yours of coarse.” She stuttered. Her eyes darted back and forth as if unsure where to look, and a pink tinge of blush crept over her cheeks. “It’s just as your vice-captain technically his orders are serving yours too.”
“Pfft, nice save.” He released her face and grabbed her hand dragging her along behind him. “You’re gonna be a real pain in the ass aren’t you.” He muttered.
“Sorry.” She murmured.
Fucking hell.
As he dragged her past the hallway intersection, he saw a couple of the gossiping students lurking around the corner still whispering and peeking around the columns down the hallway at them. He gritted his teeth and squeezed the honor students’ hand more tightly.
“Go clean that shit up.” He commanded as he stalked past.
The gossiping students body went rigid as she spun on her heel and marched down the hallway to the broken vase under the command of his stigma.
***Now***
Reiko pressed her hands against the floor forcing herself upright, staggering unsteadily to her feet.
“She’s here to spy on us? This is the worst…”
“We hardly have time for some arduous long-term mission when we’re already this busy.”
Reiko felt a burning shame remembering her classmates words. Her life. Her life was an arduous long-term mission, a burden to everyone around.
She stumbled bumping into her desk chair knocking it over. Nope. Fight the bad thoughts. You don’t have your music that’s fine. Reiko began to hum again, instead of the waltz this time, her favorite song from her favorite band. She swayed to the rhythm, like she had at the concert that night…
Rushing train. Smell of flowers. Clinging desperately to the window frame.
“Whatever I’ll just chuck you out.”
Bad idea. Different song.
“There is no guarantee of safety with anomalies. Such work should be left to those with the means to handle it.”
“I don’t want to deal with you causing more problems with your staggering ignorance.”
She swayed faster, humming louder. Trying to drown out the memories of the hurtful voices.
“She’ll only slow us down.”
“You had one job, if you can’t even do it what’s even the point of taking you on missions?”
She covered her ears and spun faster.
“Don’t expect me to be soft on you just because you’re a girl”
“You’re a little kitty cat aren’t you? A soft little snack”
“Fuck around and I’ll kill you”
The chill of cold metal pressed against her fore head, white hot pain, ears ringing, the smell of gun powder, hot breath against the cut on her cheek.
CRASH
She stumbled to a stop, staring at the mess. She’d grabbed the water glass from her bed side table and flung it into her mirror. Broken shards of glass and spilled water now spread across the floor. She stared at the broken shards with their sharp jagged edges. Shaking her head she moved past them throwing open her window, slapping her cheeks and breathing in the cold night air. She hoisted herself up onto the window ledge, farther away from the sharp tempting shards.
If she was going to become that anomaly, maybe it was better if things ended now anyway. She had failed to capture an anomaly on every mission she’d been on. Useless, dead weight. If she transformed, there was the risk she would curse someone else. If they didn’t just kill her outright they would need to lock her away where no one could see her. Contain her. Study her. Would she remember who she was?
She gazed over the ledge, vision starting to swim, was it the dizziness? The alcohol? Vertigo?
Did her family even know where she was? Was she a missing person? If she died here would Darkwick give her family her body? At least let them know she was dead so they didn’t have to keep wondering where she’d gone, holding out hope for some sign of her? Her dad probably thought she’d run off, probably cursing her as a whore. How was mom getting by? She’d be broken up, blaming herself. Blaming Dad. Momoko…
“I will always love you no matter what you do.” She remembered the hands that gripped hers so tightly. Her sisters eyes searching Reiko’s face hoping for some clue that her words had reassured her.
She spun around to climb down from the windowsill,
“Oh”
Her foot slipped, she swayed dangerously, arms wheeling, air rushing past her. Well. At least the choice was out of her hands now.
“I’m sorry Momo”
***
Jiro approached the cathedral, the lights in the honor student’s attic bedroom were on, outlining a dark silhouette on the windowsill. He judged the distance from the silhouette to the ground, and from himself to the cathedral, as the arms spread wide and she tipped herself backwards.
I’m not going to make it.
He broke into a sprint anyway.