Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“TOMMYYY!” Tubbo’s voice echoed through their small flat. “WHERE IS MY EARPIECE!?”

Tommy screeched as he ran from the smaller. “I DON’T HAVE IT! ASK RANBOOB!”

“WHAT ABOUT ME??” Ranboo yelled from the kitchen. “I’M MAKING DINNER!”

“DO YOU KNOW WHERE TUBBO’S STUPID EARPIECE WENT?” Tommy yelled back, which promptly earned a shove and “HEY! IT’S NOT STUPID!” from Tubbo.

“DID YOU LOOK UNDER THE DESK, ‘BO?” Ranboo’s answer came swiftly.

Tubbo ran off to look, and there it was.

“See! I told you I didn’t have it!” Tommy triumphed.

“Yeah yeah…” Tubbo grumbled. “Whatever, you have patrol in sixth today.” He adds.

Tommy grinned. He loved patrolling. “Fuck yes!”

“Don’t get too excited.” Ranboo advised, coming in from the kitchen. “You remember what happened last time?”

“Maybe, but that was a one-time off thing!” Tommy sheepishly looked down. Last time he may or may not have gotten too excited and fallen off a roof. But that was a one-time thing, he swears! It's not his fault that UFO'd sneaked up on him.

Ranboo chuckled fondly and shook their head.

Tubbo of course had to ruin their moment, that bitch, by mentioning that Tommy was late to go out to patrol.
Again.

He sprinted to his room and pulled out the hoodie, mask, and trousers buried at the very bottom of their shared cabinet and quickly pulled them on. Then he attached his weapons to his belt and stumbled a little clumsily back out to the living room and onto the fire escape.

“Wait!” Ranboo’s voice called from on the other side of the room. “You forgot your earpiece.”

Tommy thanked the Ender hybrid hastily and ran over to collect the tiny device that Tubbo had built for him and put it into his ear.
Then he bolted out of the window onto the fire escape. (And no, he did not fall, fuck anyone who says differently.)

With fresh adrenaline and a few new bruises, Tommy, or rather Red, made his way onto the roof.

On the roof, Red turned on his earpiece.

“Anything going on, Bee?”

The earpiece crackled a little before the response came through. “Nothing. I will keep you updated through the night.” A muttered “As always” can be heard faintly, which was not good, because if Tubbo, or well, Bee, was grumpy, then that meant he realised that Tommy’d drunken his last energy drink, and that meant he’d have his head later.

…

Oh well, that was a problem for future Tommy—err, Red. Current Red was enjoying his time jumping over the roofs, the wind ruffling through his hair.

While on patrol, the wind whirling around him, on the battered roofs, as a vigilante, as Red, that’s when he felt truly free.

A huge smile stretched across his face as he spotted his friend, a fellow vigilante called UFO.

Red landed on the roof. UFO was at the edge of, their legs swinging in the air, and greeted them with a grin stretched wide across his face. “Hey, big man.”

“Hi, Red.” UFO responded, a fond smile in their voice. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty quiet tonight.” Red replied, sitting next to the other.

“Yeah.” UFO agreed, their gaze wandering back to the city.

Just when Red wanted to sit down next to UFO, his earpiece crackled to life, and surprisingly, it wasn’t Tubbo. No, it was another one of their friends, a fellow vigilante called Vulpis (“That sounds like Wolfpiss." "No, it doesn't!?”) who always had a lot of info on the syndicate.
They didn’t question him about that; they just assumed he was a hacker like Tubbo.

“Syndicate is on their way to 4th. They’re targeting the museum on the edge of 4th and 5th. You two are the only ones out on patrol.” The last sentence was said almost apologetically, but Red didn’t take notice of it.

“Alright. Thanks, Wolfpiss. (“THAT’S NOT MY NAME!”) Let’s go, UFO.”

A shiteating grin stretched across Tommy’s masked face.

UFO nodded and got up.

The two teenagers made their way over the roofs, crossing from the sixth district to the fifth, and finally to the museum in fourth.

It was an old building, one Tommy’d been in before, the museum specialising in the antique times.

Tommy particularly liked the section about the old Greeks.
He totally didn’t have a hyperfixation on Greek mythology at one point. Nuh uh, not big man Tommy Innit.

The sound of glass breaking ripped Red out of his thoughts.

Someone cursed, and Siren’s melodic voice was to hear complaining about the glass that cut him. 

Ichor wasn’t having it. “Stop whining, Siren; it’s not even bleeding.”

Red didn’t care to listen for Siren’s reply. He turned to UFO and whispered, “Plan?”

UFO thought for a moment. “You distract them while I sneak up from behind.”

Red nodded and got ready to jump down the roof when UFO gave the sign.

UFO had one hand outstretched in a ‘hold...’ motion. Red waited till UFO nodded and then jumped down.

“Good evening, lads, how are you this fine night?” His slightly metallic voice, tinged from the voice changer, toned through the alleyway.

“What the fuck?” Siren blurted out. “You catch the syndicate in a robbery, and all you have to say is, ‘How are you’??!”

Red sputtered, not expecting that response, “Well, you could’ve just said you’re having a bad day, man, geez!”

Siren gaped at him.

Ichor snorted.

Red stared.

UFO attacked Siren from behind.

The man toppled over, surprised by the sudden hit. He whirled around, snarling in anger.
“Go jump off the nearest-" The command was half spoken before he recognised who it was. Siren sighed. “Just go to sleep.” 

As soon as the words left Siren’s mouth, UFO startled, tumbling, and as much as they tried to stay awake, they soon fell into a deep sleep.

Red gaped at him. And no, he wasn’t scared; anyone who’d say differently would be lying! He just had respect for the man, nothing else; it wasn’t like it was terrifying to see Siren put his teammate to sleep with just a few words. What would he do to them if both of them were asleep? Red shook his head of the thoughts; he was the big man Red, the best vigilante around, wasn’t scared of some pesky villains! Even if said villains were staring at him strangely...

Red couldn’t tell what they were thinking, and maybe it slightly unnerved him, but not by much, of course; nothing scared big man Red! ...Still though, the way in which two of the most powerful villains Essempii were looking at him, Ichor’s eyes glinting with something almost akin to interest, and Siren smirking, it was definitely kind of creepy.

Siren spoke up. “Most people are shaking in their boots at this point.” 

Red’s confused frown, visible by his eyes furrowing, earned another snort from Ichor. “You’re a weird kid.”

“Hey! I’m not a kid!” Red protested. 

Siren’s smirk widened. “Sure you aren’t.” He mocked. 

Red wanted to punch the man; consequences be damned. “I’m a legal adult.” He gritted out.

Well, as much as you could be legal as an illegal vigilante.

Siren’s mouth turned to a confused frown, but Red cut him off before he could say anything. 

“Well, maybe not legal legal.” Tommy admitted.

Siren’s frown deepened. “Not… legal legal…” his frown turned to a smirk. “Are you admitting to being a criminal?” He… teased? Red blinked up at the man confusedly. Why was the second most wanted villain teasing him?

“I’m not a criminal. I’m just not completely legal.” Red protested, though it sounded weak even to his own ears.

Siren burst into laughter, and Ichor stared at him unamusedly. “That is literally the definition of criminal. Someone who doesn’t follow the law is a criminal.”

Tommy pouted under his mask. “I’m not a criminal. I’m a vigilante.”

“IT’S THE SAME DAMN THING!” Ichor protested.

"NO, IT’S NOT!” Red insisted. “A CRIMINAL BRINGS HARM, A VIGILANTE HELPS.”

“BRUH.”

“WHAT ‘BRUH’.”

Ichor just stared irritatedly.

Red stared back grumpily.

Siren laughed.

Red sent him a death glare.

Siren doubled over from laughter.

Ichor huffed out a chuckle of his own.

Pricks.

Red stared at them, and if looks would kill, they would be dead, cremated, and their ashes dissolved in water.

Siren’s mask got damp spots from tears of laughter at the sight. He said something into his earpiece that Red couldn’t understand, but he thought he heard something about “-...mine,…”

Red’s brows furrowed, but he decided not to question it. Instead, he let his gaze wander over the alley. Two of the strongest villains, UFO was knocked out, and Red was most certainly not strong enough to take on both alone.

He muttered a quiet “fuck” and pressed his eyes shut for a second, formulating a plan.

Unnoticed by the two villains, UFO began to float up to the roof the two came from.

When they were safely landed, Red took a deep breath.

“Well, as nice as it was to chat with you, I gotta go now!” He shouted while already making his way onto the roof himself.

UFO floated beside him while he ran away, only stopping once he was sure he was alone.

He pressed on his earpiece.

“Vulpis, are you there?” He asked.

“Affirmative.”

Red breathed a sigh of relief. “Come pick up UFO, please; they’re knocked out.” Red thought he could hear a “damn it, again!” but he wasn’t sure. 

“Okay, coords?” Vulpis inquired, and Red almost facepalmed because, of course, they’d have to ask that if they wanted to pick of UFO, he should’ve thought about that.

“Uhh…” Red checked the coordinates and relayed them to Vulpis.

“I’ll be there in five.” Red understood the silent ‘please watch over them in the meantime’ in the other’s words.
So he did.

Red waited until he could see the other vigilante on the roof opposite from himself, then waved and went his own way.

Ranboo had made dinner that he didn’t want to miss after all.
He was hungry.

Chapter Text

Tubbo woke up to a message on discord.

6 minors in a GC what’re they gonna do

Walmart Bag; Guys
help
Monster Addict; what
Walmart Bag; I hid Purpled’s multi vitamin juice and he’s ginan kille me help
Monster Addict; suck s for you let m e sleep

Monster Addict went offline

Discord
Walmart Bag; NO

Walmart Bag; TUBBO PLEASE
Walmart Bag; DIN’T LEAVE ME PELALSE

Tubbo shut his phone off. A notification came in with a ping and lit the screen back up. He turned it on silent. Damn Aimsey for waking him up; now he won’t be able to sleep anymore.

Tubbo snuggled back into bed, squeezed between his sleeping roommates and best friends, and let out a sigh.

Sleep wouldn’t come to him anymore, but it was still comfortable, he found.

Ranboo wrapped their tail around Tubbo and Tommy, letting out a sleepy enderian noise that Tubbo found very endearing.

Tommy responded with a chitter in his slumber, reaching over to wrap the other two into his arms.

He let his thoughts drift off with the comfortable pressure of his best friends pressed against him, Tommy warm as a heater, contrasting Ranboo's cooler body warmth.

Visions of their day-to-day lives flashed behind his eyelids, contorted with colours, the whitenoise of breathing soothing him into that odd half-awake state in which the world swirls and falls into a strange inbetween of reality, dream, and memory.

Nonsensical shapes and snippets of past conversations swirled in his mind.

_____________

Aimsey stared at Purpled with a scared smile. "We- we can talk about this! I could buy you a new carton!" They tried to placate.

Purpled had a look of murder in his eyes. "So you admit you drank it."

oh no. they were doomed.

"...no, no that's not what I was saying uh-" Aimsey tried to backtrack, but it was too late, and they felt themself being picked up and thrown. "No, no nonono-" they panicked whilst the wind raced around them on their rapid descent to the pavement.

They allowed themself a quick look around to make sure no one was there - they didn't want to reveal themself, after all - and opened an entrance to their void under them, which convieniently let them fall into it.

The contrast of the harsh air to the nothingness was slightly jarring for a few seconds, but Aimsey was used to it.

They took a deep breath to compose themself. They never understood quite how they could breathe whithin a pocket of nothing between time and space, but as they could never find an answer, they always just dropped the question.

Perhaps they could just stay here for a while; they doubted Purpled was going to care much in his current state. Though it might worry Fundy a little if they're not home till he comes from work. Hm.

Aimsey supposed they could probably keep track of when to come home. Probably.

...maybe.

...

Perhaps it'd be better to return now and avoid worrying the Fox hybrid.

With that thought, they opened up an exit of the void in their living room and stepped through, immediately being greeted by a certain orange person swooping them in his arms.

Fuck. They'd lost track of time in the timeless space, didn't they?

"Where were you!? I was worried sick!" Fundy demanded.

Aimsey winced. "Sorry... I was just catching my breath in the void after Purpled threw me out the window," they explained quietly.

Fundy was not amused. He turned around to face Purpled. "Why did you throw Aimsey out the window??"

Purpled huffed. "They drank all my juice."

Fundy pinched his nose bridge.

"Purpled, we've been over this, you can't just throw your friend out of the window because they took your food. Or well, drink. Either way, you can't throw them." He scolded.

Purpled crossed his arms. "Sure I can. I did."

Fundy groaned and buried his face in his hands. Aimsey thought they heard him mutter something about 'these children drive me nuts', though they weren't quite sure.
Aimsey nearly snickered, though they held themself back.

"Go to your rooms; I don't want to deal with you anymore. Little shits." Fundy requested with endless exhaustion dripping off every word.

Aimsey ignored how it sounded like a father talking to his children and entered their room. The poor guy needed a break from the two chaotic teens.

_____________

Eret sat in front of the sewing machine, the quiet whirring soothing her racing mind. The kids had tried to attack the syndicate, of all people. Luckily UFO was okay, Vulpis informed them, but it was still disconcerting.

Eret really had to confront Wilbur about knocking out a child. And, while on the topic, she definitely needed to remind the vigilantes to not handle upper league villains or heroes. Most of them were children after all, despite their best attempts at appearing adult.

Perhaps this was a conversation that could not wait, after all. Eret gently stilled their work on the silky fabric and took up her phone. She opened discord.

the real justice

Queen Lizzy wannabe; I would like to call out a meeting as to the recent events with the syndicate. Does Thursday 7pm work for everybody?
Furthermore i would like to remind you not to engage with five and above threat level enemies.

Eret opened up the villains' server.

Villainous

Blind Bitch; @Voicecrack we need to talk

Voicecrack; uh oh

why are you here again?; someone's in trouble!

Four leafed clover; Wilbur what did you do

Voicecrack replying to Four leafed clover; idk

Blind Bitch replying to Voicecrack; yes you do
you knocked out a _child_

Voicecrack replying to Blind Bitch; he tried to attack me! What was i supposed to do!?

Blind Bitch; you knoe he wouldnt do any real damage! He's a kid! You cant just knock out a kid like that! It spooked all of the vigilsntes!

Tidal Wave; oooo Mama Eret is pissed

why are you here again? replying to Tidal Wave; you don't have any room to talk Niki

3D film; agree with Fundy on this one

Tidal Wave repying to 3D film; shut it Jack or i will dislodge your kneecaps

3D film; Why doesn Fundy get threatened!?

Tidal Wave; because Fundy is a kid

why are you here again?; i'm 19!

Tidal Wave; still

Voicecrack repying to Blind Bitch; Eret, i cant just let myself be attacked beause it "wouldnt do any real damage" or because it spooks the little shits!

Blind Bitch; just... can you at least make sure they won't crack their head open on the pavement next time?
if there is a next time, since i'm gonna bring this up our next meeting

Death Bird; that might be the best course of action, you do that. We're gonna make sure none of your little ones get hurt too bad in fights in the future, i promise. Isn't that right Wilbur?

Voicecrack; sure

Eret smiled upon the reassurement.

Blind Bitch; thank you.

Blind Bitch went offline.

Eret picked the suit back up. Red'd torn a hole into it; how she didn't know and didn't care enough to ask since the kid didn't appear hurt.

As the gentle whirring continued, Eret let her mind wander. Perhaps it was time for a few new additions to the rather plain looking suit. Maybe she could ask Tubbo to help them, he was pretty tech savvy after all; and it would likely be a nice gift for his roommate. Not that she could phrase it that way, as they didn't want to worry the children with the fact she knew their identities, but maybe she could frame it as a job they needed help with.

They made a mental note to ask Tubbo when they're done patching up the suit.

_____________

Eret knocked on the beaten up door. Beaten up because these kids were always causing chaos in some way, and Eret had given up trying to fix it after Ranboo had nearly set it on fire trying to make anything besides spaghetti, Eret remembered whilst regarding the scorch marks. Despite being their landlord, Eret didn't mind too much. They could get a new door fairly easily if they wanted one.

The screaming behind the door stopped, and it opened, revealing Tubbo. The young goat hybrid looked like he was put in an arena with a blender and won.

"Hello Tubbo, you're exactly the person I wanted to talk to!" Eret tried to keep her voice light, as not to make it seem like she was kicking them out.

She failed, as noticed by Tubbo's panicked expression. "What about?" He asked, nervousness clear in his tone.

"A small job I need help with, I thought I'd come to you since you're pretty good with technology. I'll pay, of course." Eret knew the trio was tight on money, there weren't many jobs that would accept three obvious children - or, if one were to believe their documents, child-looking adults - and much less well-paying ones.

Eret might've had to bribe some of the syndicate members into accepting her residents as their employees, but if she did, that's for her to know.

Tubbo visibly relaxed after Eret said that. "What job? Come in, we can discuss the de-" Tubbo was cut off by an angry sounding screech from Tommy. "Under second thought, why don't you just show me?"

Eret nodded. "Sure, come."

They descended the stairs with a silence Eret tried to make less tense by shooting a smile.

Once in the shop under the apartments, Eret led Tubbo into the room in the back where the actual sewing happened. "See, a vigilante - you might know him, goes by Red - offered me a job bettering his suit, and I thought it'd be helpful to have someone that actually knows this stuff to help me. I want to work on the voice changer to make it be built into the suit instead of attached..." Eret continued explaining the changes they were planning to make to a listening Tubbo.

The two began to work, small chatter between them interrupted by occasional laughter on both sides.
Eret smiled as she saw how Tubbo seemed to glow as he explained the functions of the little mechanic plate he'd most certainly designed himself. They were happy to lift the weight of adult responsibility off the kid's shoulders, if even just for a few hours.

Chapter Text

"What the fuck? No, I'm not going to help you kidnap Red, Wilbur." Fundy's brows were furrowed.

The phone crackled as Wilbur evidently shifted it to the other ear. "I'm not going to kidnap them; I just want to get closer to them."

"No. I agreed to have some contact for Phil's sake, but if this is the shit you try to pull, then I'll cut you off again." Fundy threatened.

He could practically hear Wilbur's eyes widen. "...Fine, okay, okay. Uh, how are you then."

"I'm alright. Aimsey and Purpled are being their normal chaotic selves, uni's been stressful but okay, and work hasn't been too bad lately." Fundy opened the cabinet to get some tea.

Wilbur hummed, distorted over the phone. "You know you don't need to work. If you just joined us-"

"No." Fundy cut him off, "We've talked about this. If you're just gonna pressure me to join the syndicate i'm hanging up."

There was a sigh on the other end. "You know I just want to protect you-"

"No, you want to control me. Look, I can't deal with this today. When you've gotten a therapist and thought about your behaviours - and changed it - then you can call me back. Until then, goodbye." Fundy hung up and buried his face in his hands with a sigh.

The click of the door opening had him raise his head. Aimsey stood in the door with a bag of groceries, still wearing their school bag. "Hey. Uh, are you... okay?"

Fundy managed a small smile. "Yeah, I'm... fine. Just some family stuff."

Aimsey hummed. "Your father again?"

"Yeah." Fundy helped them unpack the groceries.

"What'd he do this time?"

"Just the usual. Tried to get me to come home."

Aimsey stilled in putting the milk in the fridge. "You said no, right...?" They asked, and there was something in their voice that Fundy couldn't quite discern.

"Of course." Fundy watched the tension ease out of the brunette at once. They resumed the putting away.

"Good. That's uh. That's good."

That reaction was weird, but Fundy didn't think much of it. Probably just worry from the other, anyway.

_____________

Ranboo fidgeted with their hands. They watched the number on the elevator screen go up. Ground level, 1, 2, there. They stepped outside, mumbling a quick apology to the person they had to squeeze past.
Surprising them, the person also stepped out of the elevator.

Well. Awkward. They could feel their face heating up, but kept their head down. They made the short journey to the entrance door of the library - the elevator person was following them, oh no - and pushed the door open. Or, they intended to do so. The door didn't budge. With a frown, they tried again, and - yep, that was definitely locked. Huh.

They heard a snicker behind them and turned around at a speed only surpassed by someone with super speed. The pink-haired human - or were they a hybrid? They certainly seemed like one... yeah, those ears were definitely piglin, and the body type wasn't typical for humans either - looked amused.

Their red eyes - like the colour of blood, chat unhelpfully supplied - never left Ranboo as they unlocked the door. Ranboo knew their face must've been bright purple at the embarrassment, and their eyes were drooped low.

The Piglin hybrid snorted. "You're all purple."

Ranboo lowered their head again. They did not like this person, they've decided. Which would be a problem since they'd realised this person was their new boss.

They could still feel the eyes on them, though, and it stressed them out. "Please stop staring at me..." they heard the other chuckle, and this time it seemed almost warmer than before. Almost.

_____________

As Ranboo locked away their things in the locker room, the other addressed them. "So, you're Ranboo, right? The new hire?"

"Yeah. Uh, I go by they/them." Ranboo closed the locker.

"I'm Technoblade, but you can call me Techno, he/him. I'm your boss." Techno smiled at them, a smile Ranboo guessed was supposed to be reassuring, but somehow seemed more threatening than anything. Ranboo nodded in acknowledgement.

"Have you ever worked in a library before, Ranboo?" Ranboo shook their head, "Okay then, why don't I show you around." Technoblade walked to the front, obviously expecting Ranboo to follow.

Ranboo scrambled to keep up with him. He explained where the different books were, the CDs, how the system worked... over the hours, Ranboo slowly grew a little more comfortable around Techno, feeling free to ask questions and loosen up a bit.

They tried to ignore the glances Techno snuck him, filled with an intrigue Ranboo found mildly uncomfortable.

Time flew by, and soon it was time for lunch break. Techno and Ranboo sat down together. Ranboo noticed that Techno had a pastry from Niki's bakery. The thought that Tommy might've made that one made them smile. They unpacked their own food - leftover spaghetti from the day prior - and took a bite.

Then promptly spit out that bite. "What the heck!?" They coughed. Why on earth was their spaghetti sweet!? That's when they noticed a small sticky note on the bottom of their tupperware. 'Gotcha! I put sugar on your spaghetti >:P -Tommy'. Ranboo frowned. Who would think putting sugar in spaghetti would be a good idea, but Tommy, apparently.

Techno looked at Ranboo with something they guessed was likely concern. They weren't quite sure. "Are you okay, kid?"

"Yeah, just, my roommate tampered with my food. It's fine." It was not fine. They couldn't afford to waste food like that.

Techno hummed and ripped off part of his pastry. He tucked it into Ranboo's hand. "Take some of mine."

"Wh- n- I can't just eat your food!" Ranboo sputtered in surprise.

"Take it or leave it; I don't care. Just thought you'd appreciate it." Techno shrugged.

Ranboo mumbled a thanks and cautiously took a bite of the baked sweetness. They basked in the delicious taste - Niki's baking was always exquisite. Before they knew it, the pastry was gone. They wiped their mouth and hands with a wet wipe, ignoring the barely noticable sting.

Techno was staring at them in amusement the whole time, they noticed. A faint purple tinged their cheeks as embarrassment flooded through them.

"You were pretty hungry, weren't you." Techno stated - because even though phrased as a question, it was a statement - and Ranboo nodded. "Can't blame ya. Niki's bakin' is amazing."

Ranboo nodded again. They fidgeted with their hands.

"Well, let's get back to work. Those books still needa be returned to their shelves." Techno stood up while he said that, and Ranboo followed suit.

They knew they'd like it here, even if they were pretty awkward. And besides, there's not that much talking working in a library.