Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ed removes his helmet and takes a deep breath, exhaling a contented sigh. He sets his helmet down between his legs to balance on his bike’s tank. His hands go to his hair, easing it out of the elastic and shaking it loose. He runs his fingers through his greying waves, slowly stretching his aching neck as he does so. His eyes never leave the view.

Ed loves the lake.

He comes up as often as he can, which isn’t nearly as often as he’d like, but he manages to escape from the city most weekends. He got away on a Friday this time, and he’s here until Sunday, far from the city, the noise, the people.

Paradise.

Admittedly, the lakeside isn’t as quiet as it once was, as more cabins have popped up over the years, gradually thinning the trees along the shoreline, but Ed doesn’t mind that so much. His cabin has a good stretch of property around it, the trees as thick in parts as they are further up the rise. Ed has a company come in every few months to make sure vegetation is healthy. His property also has a private dock, so he can sit and fish and crack a few cold ones just fine, even in the height of summer, without anyone really bothering him. Sure, he has neighbours, or, well, neighbour, really, but since the only one who is actually nearby is still a good nod and a wave’s distance away, no hassle.

Ed takes another moment with the view, the blue of the day just ceding to the first hints of gold and pink, turning with the promise of a phenomenal sunset. He breathes deep. Sometimes it feels like he’d know it blindfolded: the damp of the lake, the sharp scent of the trees that surround his cabin.

Ed grins to himself before finally climbing from his bike, grabbing his gear and heading inside. He has his routine down to an art: boots and shirt off, groceries into the fridge, then climbing into his comfy jeans still in plenty of time to set up his chair on the dock and catch that sunset.

Ed pads barefoot into the kitchen and cracks the fridge open. He shivers as the cool air hits his bare torso, but he’ll warm up soon enough once he gets into the sun. He grabs a beer and sets it on the counter beside his steak. Touching a knuckle to the meat to test the temperature, he gives himself an approving nod. Ed often fishes for his dinner when he’s up here at the lake, but since he doesn’t have that much daytime left, he’s treating himself to a nice steak instead.

He is just reaching for a paper towel when a shrill scream makes him jump.

Recovering quickly, Ed rolls his eyes, abandoning his steak to reach for his bottle opener. His little patch of the lake isn’t that near the tourist hotspots, but some still make their way up and they’re often damn loud about having fun. Ed isn’t about to deal with that without a drink. He makes a mental note to grab the old waterproof speaker on his way out, which is usually enough to mask any noise, so he can enjoy the lake in peace.

When he hears the shriek again, he ignores it, patting at his steak with the paper towel. But when the next scream comes, Ed makes out a word:

“Help!”

Ed jumps, heartbeat ratcheting and adrenaline pumping at the realisation that this is not kids messing around, but an adult - one in enough shit to be yelling for help.

Ed abandons his dinner prep, almost knocking over his beer in his haste to yank his hands away, wiping them on his jeans as he jogs out of the kitchen and crosses the living room to his boots. He grabs one and pulls it on as he hops out his front door, shoving his bare foot into the other boot on his way down the porch steps.

He pauses, listening, but there isn’t a sound to be heard, so he hurries to the side of the cabin to grab his axe. When the shout comes again, it’s clearly coming from the nearby property and there’s a distinct edge of desperation to the voice. Ed takes off, sprinting through the woods towards the vacant property to the east. It’s been abandoned for as long as he can remember - his only neighbour is off to the west - though there is a ruin of an old cabin there. He used to smoke weed there sometimes when he was a teen.

Ed’s first surprise as the cabin comes into view through the trees is that there is a car parked outside. In all his years at the lake, he’s never seen anybody go near it. It’s barely more than a shack and obviously derelict. There’s no way that even the most lost out-of-towner could mistake it for their rental.

The sight of the car has Ed missing a step and stumbling before finding his pace again. It’s a colossal all terrain vehicle, clearly a custom model. It’s a fucking Rolls. Staring, Ed narrowly avoids running into a tree, dodging it to reach the clearing.

Then the cry comes again, this time more of a wail and most definitely coming from inside the cabin.

Ed swears under his breath as he slows to a trot, catching his breath. He moves swiftly but carefully, watching his footing on the old steps that lead up to the deck. The door is ajar, offering Ed a glimpse of blonde hair. It’s owner begins another anguished wail just as Ed pushes open the door, the squeaky hinges startling him.

The man’s cry dies in his throat as he turns and takes in Ed standing in the doorway.

For a moment, they look at each other in a silent stand-off, then the blond’s face breaks into a bright, relieved smile. “Oh, I didn’t think anyone would ever hear me!” he gasps. “Can you help me? I’m a little stuck!”

Ed finds himself momentarily rooted to the spot, taking in the sight in front of him. The man is dressed casually in a brightly coloured aqua polo shirt neatly tucked into beige pants. The boot Ed can see is top of the line. Every stitch of the man’s gear looks brand new and expensive. There was a time Ed would have considered mugging him for his belt alone, never mind the watch on his wrist. The man’s hair is admittedly a little dishevelled now, but it still looks like he’s come straight from a salon.

“My foot went straight through the floor!” The man explains, looking panic-stricken. “What if there’s a bear hibernating under the house?” he stage-whispers. “I hear they do that sometimes!"

A laugh bubbles up Ed’s throat before he can stop it, but he follows it up with an easy smile and the apprehension that had flitted across the blond’s face fades away again. “Nah”, Ed shrugs. “But maybe a nasty opossum.” The man clearly can’t tell if Ed is teasing, so Ed gives him a wink to reassure him. After all, if he’d pissed off a possum, they’d probably know it by now. The man flushes, ducking to hide a grin.

Ed turns his attention to the floor, assessing their situation as he speaks. “I’m Ed”, he says, plotting his course around the dodgy-looking patches of floor. It’s not easy: the place was already a deathtrap twenty years ago. “Next cabin over.”

The man looks thrilled at the news. “Oh, a neighbour!” His face lights up with the words. “I’m Stede. I’d offer you a drink...” his face falls a little as he looks around himself. “But, erm...”

“Yeah, well...” Ed would normally not approach anyone as alarmingly cheerful as Stede, but he’s here now, and he’s weaving his way forward, still assessing Stede’s predicament. Although it looks like Stede has gone through a patch of rot, the surrounding floor looks stable enough. Maybe. “Let’s get you out of here before we launch cocktail hour, yeah?”

To his surprise, Ed feels his neck heat at Stede’s answering chuckle, pleased that he liked his joke. The realisation stops him in his tracks and he straightens, taking the other man in for a moment. But as Stede’s expectant expression turns anxious, Ed chooses his footing and squats down to get a look at the damage.

The leg isn’t cut, as far as Ed can tell, so that’s good. The main problem is the way a splintered board has lodged itself against Stede’s calf, stopping him from withdrawing without tearing up his leg. If he tries too hard, he’s liable to topple over through another patch of rot and get himself hurt. He did the right thing, calling for help when he did. It was smart, and far less prideful than Ed would have expected from someone who drove that beast outside.

“Okay”, Ed says, focusing. “I see the problem. I’m gonna try to push the board through, then you should be able to move.”

“Okay”, Stede nods frantically down at Ed, visibly preparing himself mentally. Ed watches him literally put on his brave face before he nods again. “Ready.”

Ed is so fascinated by Stede’s display, it takes him a moment to shut his mouth and move. He stops again immediately. “I’m gonna hold your leg, okay? Keep you steady?” Ed glances up to find Stede nodding, eyes squeezed shut, bottom lip quivering.

“I understand. Thank you for checking. I’m ready now.”

Ed’s mouth hangs open in bafflement at his strange new acquaintance until he manages a flustered “You’re welcome”. Hand closing around Stede’s calf, he feels Stede press a couple of fingertips against his shoulder to steady himself. Ed rests the flat of his axe against the brittle floorboard, wincing at the sharp hiss of breath above him. Fingertips dig into his shoulder momentarily, before Stede’s touch disappears entirely with a murmured apology.

“What are you even doing here, anyway?” Ed grunts, mostly for the sake of distracting Stede a little while he adjusts his axe, trying to figure out the best angle of attack.

Stede sighs, loud and dramatic, and it has Ed smiling again before Stede even answers the question. “I’m afraid I’ve been played for a bit of a fool, Ed”, Stede answers eventually, in a tone that suggests he’s auditioning for a Tennessee Williams play.

Ed has a hunch about what Stede is doing here, but it’s too implausible to be true. “Nooo...” he breathes, pausing to look up. He can’t help the smirk threatening, tugging at the corners of his mouth. It’s not funny. There’s no way this man is about to announce he’s actually Ed’s new neighbour. No way. “You rented this place?” Ed asks. “On purpose?”

Stede purses his lips, nodding. Ed knows he’s losing his battle with his smirk, but he hopes Stede decides it’s more charming than offensive. When Stede pastes a rueful expression on his face and admits the extent of the damage, Ed lets himself grin properly. “Bought it, actually.”

“Well, shit, mate”, Ed says, struggling to make his smile at least look sympathetic. “You got screwed !”

It’s not an insult.

Ed makes sure there’s empathy in his tone, even if he’s laughing and sure enough, Stede’s already breaking into a smile of his own. They’re shaking with suppressed laughter, but Ed gets Stede’s leg free before he can get impaled on the splintered boards.

They’re still giggling when Ed leans into Stede, who wraps an arm around his shoulders. The warmth of Stede’s body against his makes Ed starkly aware that he is still bare chested, Stede’s fingers clammy against his skin.

“All right?” Ed asks, untangling himself as they make it outside. He keeps his hands against Stede’s waist as Stede tests his leg on solid ground.

“I can walk”, Stede promises, as Ed pulls away. “My leg’s a bit asleep, but it’s okay.” He puts his weight on his leg, gingerly at first, but then with more confidence. “There”, he grins. “Perfectly all right.”

Ed offers a smile and a shrug, unsure where their interaction is going, now that Stede doesn’t need his help. He glances around, scratching his belly. The light changed while he was helping Stede, brilliant orange now lighting up the forest around them like flames. They’re missing the sunset Ed had been looking forward to, but that’s okay. He’s enjoyed meeting Stede. He’s handsome and they’ve passed the time well. So well, in fact, that Ed is more than a little disappointed at the prospect of them going their separate ways.

Stede’s looking at the sky too, but he’s frowning. “Well, I should head back to town, I suppose, try to get a room for tonight and...” Stede takes a deep, resigned breath. “Figure out what I’m going to do about the cabin situation.”

“You could...” the words tumble out before Ed can stop them.

Ed hesitates.

He could recommend a hotel in town. Granted, there’s only one hotel in town, so... bit redundant, really. But that would be one way to finish that sentence without inviting a stranger into his home for the night.

Because Ed isn’t that guy. He’s not the smile at strangers, help get your cat out of the tree guy.

He’s the minds his own business guy, always has been.

And sure, up here at the lake, there are neighbours and regulars and Fang at the bait shop and Ivan at the boat rental and everyone gets a nod, but that’s all.

Ed’s not the neighbour with the welcome casserole and he sure as shit isn’t about to throw a sleepover for the leggy blonde next door.

Even if he is just ridiculously...

“Yes?” Stede prompts, jolting Ed back to face the end of his sentence.

Ed can’t remember the sentence.

Town. Hotel.

Right.

Looking back, Ed would blame the hope in Stede’s eyes and his lost puppy look, definitely not the leggy blondeness.

“You could always stay with me”, he says, wondering where the fuck that came from. “For tonight. It’ll be dark soon, best not be driving.” Ed fights a grimace at the transparent excuse. Stede’s car is bigger than the shitty cabin he bought, and it has headlights like lighthouses. “Yeah”, Ed goes on, not sure who he’s trying to convince. “We’ll take a look at that leg, you can have a shower...” Ed trails off, willing himself not to sweat. Did he seriously just invite the fancy new neighbour to get naked at his place?

Stede looks like he’s considering it.

Ed panics. He’s not ready for Stede to get into that ridiculous tank of his and drive away so Ed can go back to the big evening of nothing he had planned. “The lake’s beautiful at dawn”, Ed smiles. “Best time for a swim.” Ed thinks about the fact that he usually dips into the lake nude when there’s nobody around, and he hopes his smile doesn’t look psychotic.

If it does, Stede hasn’t noticed.

“I don’t want to put you out...” Stede catches his bottom lip between his teeth and Ed senses blood in the water.

“Nah!”, he laughs, waving a hand dismissively at Stede. “No trouble! What are neighbours for?” Ed asks, voice pitching up in the knowledge that he has never once in his life voluntarily engaged with a neighbour. His face is starting to ache from smiling. “It’s barely two minutes by car. You good to drive?”

*****************************************

Stede’s car is as fancy as Ed had expected and then some.

There’s a subtle scent of air freshener and it’s almost successfully masking the new car scent. Ed’s seat, which he’s pretty sure has some kind of orthopaedic thingy built in, heats up the second he parks his ass. Ed wants to hate it, but it’s too damn comfy.

He sneaks a look at Stede, who looks pretty rumpled, not to mention the cobwebs and dirt.

Ed looks down at himself, suddenly self conscious of his bare torso and his ancient, loose jeans. At least he doesn’t seem grubby from his run through the forest. He really hopes he’s not going to leave a smear of crud on Stede’s fancy upholstery. When they get to his cabin, he gives his seat a surreptitious once-over as he climbs out of the car.

“Oh, Ed!” Stede gasps as he closes his door and steps toward the front porch. “Your home is a delight!”

Ed huffs in surprise at Stede calling the cabin his home. Most of the cabins up here are holiday rentals, but he’s one of the very few owners and year-round visitors. “Thanks”, he mutters, a little flustered at Stede’s insight. Or maybe it’s the compliment. “D’you, uh... have any bags you want to bring in?” he asks, mostly to change the subject.

Stede has several bags.

Different sorts.

All in matching print.

And he doesn’t call them ‘bags’, he calls them mad shit. Could you grab the valise, please, I’ll take the vanity case? Oh no, my suit carrier has folded, I hope nothing’s wrinkled!

They stack them inside the door in a colour-coordinated pile.

Stede has more stuff in his luggage than Ed has in the entire house.

Probably.

Stede hovers just inside the door, taking in the cabin. It’s open plan, so most of it is visible from where they’re standing.

“C’mon, I’ll give you the tour.” Ed says anyway, absently patting the back of his hand against Stede’s chest.

Ed’s proud of his cabin.

Being one of the older lodges on the lakeside, it doesn’t look like most of the others... the newer builds, the more glamorous, floor-to-ceiling windowed, manicured-gardened holiday homes. Sure, he’s had some work done on the place, mostly the pipes, though, to keep the bathroom and kitchen in running order. The rest of the cabin hasn’t changed significantly since it was built and Ed knows it’s stunning.

He likes the character of the place.

He often catches himself thinking of her as ‘the old girl’ - Gotta buy some wood polish for the old girl, do some work on the porch, scrape some of the barnacles off of her...

Ed was kind of joking when he’d suggested the tour. Mostly he figures Stede would need to know where the bathroom is. He doesn’t anticipate Stede’s genuine interest. It makes sense, of course, when he thinks about it, that Stede wants to know all about the cabin, since he has his own now. Ed can see the man thinking, taking mental notes, but then Stede runs his hands over the wood. “Is this... ?”

Ed waits, a smile playing on his lips, curious to see if Stede will guess right.

“...Cedar?”

Got it in one. Ed is beaming as he nods.

The tour is short, but Stede still impresses Ed with his genuine interest. He even notices and admires things Ed never takes the time to appreciate anymore - the scent of the cedar that lightly permeates the whole house, the old throw his mum embroidered that sits over the back of the couch, the rose pattern that Ed carved into the handle of the bedroom door one year for mother’s day.

It’s kind of shitty, but he was only a kid.

Ed steps into his room to grab a clean tee, making sure to watch if Stede checks him out. He preens as Stede’s eyes track over his chest, lingering at his belly. It’s been a good few years since Ed had much muscle definition there, but he knows he’s in good shape.

Stede’s prattle slows but doesn’t stop as he hovers in the doorway, watching Ed so openly that Ed doubts he’s even realised what he’s doing. When Ed yanks the tee over his head and meets Stede’s eye though, he stammers and flushes before directing his gaze back to the doorknob Ed carved. He’s been cooing about it for a solid minute.

Maybe it’s not so shitty.

Ed’s mom had seemed fond of it too, after all.

So Ed smiles and lets Stede wax lyrical about the cabin for a bit.

It’s when Stede sees the walk-in shower, though, that Ed knows he’s truly impressed him. “I’ll leave you two alone”, he laughs, clapping a gawking Stede on the back as he leaves.

*****************************************

Ed is in the kitchen when Stede leaves the bathroom bare-chested after his shower.

“That leave-in scalp conditioner of yours looks nice...” Stede announces loudly, padding over to his luggage, while Ed wanders to the kitchen doorway to drink in the sight of Stede’s bare chest, broad shoulders, and tightly-wrapped towel. “Mine must be around here somewhere”, Stede tells his bags. He plants his hands on his hips and Ed grins.

There’s not a chance Stede forgot anything.

Ed had seen him haul multiple wash bags into the bathroom for his shower; but Ed knows fishing when he hears it, and he doesn’t mind sharing. His conditioner is good and to be honest, he likes the idea of Stede trying it out. “Thanks”, he says, pausing to enjoy watching Stede dig through his bags, pretending to wonder where his hair products might be. “You can just try mine, if you like.”

“Really?” Stede turns his high-beam smile on Ed, who finds himself flushing once again at the earnestness of Stede’s happiness. “Thanks!” Stede drops a large, soft-looking bundle of blue fabric on top of his luggage, forgotten in his eagerness to make the most of Ed’s scalp conditioner.

Ed can’t resist, closing in to take a closer look at the dark, almost shimmering lump of fabric that Stede abandoned. It’s soft, thicker than Ed expected. He runs his hand over it, moving with the grain, then against it, then back again, watching the light dance over the shifting colours.

“Do you fancy a fine fabric?”

Stede’s voice doesn’t startle Ed, though he pulls his hand away and keeps his eyes on the material. “I think I do, mate.”

“Try it on!” Stede insists, closing the distance between them and still grinning like it’s his birthday. Ed hesitates, but Stede doesn’t. “No, I insist! I brought two, anyway, I couldn’t decide”, he says, picking up the fabric and letting it fall loose so Ed can see.

It’s a robe.

“I’m a bit of a clothes horse”, Stede adds, his expression betraying none of the humility that his tone suggests.

Ed gives in, turning to let Stede slip the robe up his arms and set it down on his shoulders. For the briefest moment, the lining is cool against his skin, but it warms quickly. Ed hugs himself, admiring the softness, enjoying the feel of the material against the bare skin of his arms. It’s impossible to resist a quick detour to the bedroom mirror. He looks... different. He’s staring at himself, mesmerised, slowly twisting to each side to see as much of himself as he can, easing his hair out of the collar to let it fall forward. The blue velvet shifts thickly with every movement, shifting tones of light and dark that remind Ed of the lake he’s spent a lifetime loving. He finds a label on the lining, making a note of the name so he can buy his own, when he hears Stede’s voice.

“Did I interrupt your dinner plans?”

Ed’s stomach gives a low rumble at the reminder. If it weren’t for Stede, he’d have eaten by now. “I have a piece of steak”, he calls back, giving himself a final once over before finding Stede in the kitchen, eyeing Ed’s preparations. “It’s not gonna be much between us, but I might have something in the freezer...”

Stede looks thrilled. “Anything promising?” he asks, as Ed checks.

“A sweet pie crust and some peas?” Ed grimaces.

“I think we can work with that!” To Ed’s surprise, Stede turns and trots right out the front door, grabbing his car keys on the way.

Ed can’t resist following, robe swishing with every stride.

Turns out, Stede’s car could give Mary Poppins’ carpet bag a run for its money. Stede has fitted it with a portable refrigerator, like that’s a perfectly reasonable thing for a person to do. Arms full, he beams at Ed, standing chuckling in amazement on the porch. Curious now, Ed follows him to the kitchen as Stede dumps supplies onto the counter. “I have potatoes and some duck fat”, he announces. “Peas, potatoes and steak.”

“What about the pie base?”

“We can forage for berries!”

“It’s getting a bit dark for that, mate.”

“We can forage for berries tomorrow!”

“Deal”, Ed grins.

Dinner prep is quick, the two of them chopping the potatoes side by side, jostling for space on Ed’s tiny chopping board. Next, Stede decides to raid Ed’s kitchen and actually finds what he needs to make a pepper sauce.

Ed never bothers with steak sauces, but he’s not about to tell Stede that.

Once he’s done with the sauce, Stede sets the table. Apparently, he packed placemats.

Ed tries to act like it isn’t the first time he’s sat at his own dining table in years.

The lull in conversation while they eat isn’t awkward. Ed sneaks a peak at Stede to see if he’s uncomfortable with the silence, but Stede is focused on his food, so it seems neither of them is in the mood for any small talk just now. The pepper sauce is delicious, so when Ed hums his approval, pointing his fork at his plate and nodding emphatically as he chews, Stede just grins and goes back to his dinner.

“The couch is comfy. Folds out.” Ed says eventually, breaking the silence as Stede finishes his dinner. Ed drags his very last piece of steak around his plate, trying to catch all the remains of sauce. “I’ll find you some sheets now, so you can crash whenever.”

Stede hums. “I’ve been thinking. I don’t want to put you out. I have a tent that I can use.”

Ed grimaces. It’s dark out, if they were going to put up a tent, they should have done it before dinner. “If that’s what you want...” he says, reluctantly. “I have some flashlights... the porch light will help, if you stay close to the house...”

Stede is making a face now too. He hasn’t followed Ed’s train of thought at all.

“...honestly, mate, pulling out the couch sounds like less trouble to me than setting up a tent in the dark.” If Stede wants to go, Ed will help him get set up, obviously, but there’s something twisting unpleasantly in his gut at the idea of Stede leaving.

“Oh!” The confused frown vanishes and Stede’s face lights up into a more familiar smile. “It’s not one of those tents. It’s on the truck. You just press a button and voila!”

Ed stares. “Your truck has a built-in tent?”

Stede nods merrily.

“Show me.” Ed’s already on his feet, Stede scrambling to catch up.

There’s a fixture on Stede’s truck that Ed had assumed was just a roof box. Even now, under the glare of Ed’s flashlight, it still doesn’t look like much.

Stede walks around the truck popping the clamps and pushes the tent upright.

“Fucking tent!” Ed laughs, as Stede fetches the ladder from the trunk and fastens it to the side of the truck.

There’s a ladder. A ladder! Like getting into a bunk bed.

“After you”, Stede offers, which is good because Ed is bouncing on his toes. He scrabbles up the ladder and ducks into the tiny one-man tent with Stede hot on his heels.

It’s pitch black inside, and they bump and jostle as they each find a spot to sit on what Ed strongly suspects is a memory foam mattress.

“I thought there was supposed to be a light switch in here?” Stede mutters, elbowing Ed as he searches.

Ed tucks the flashlight under his chin as he flicks it on, lighting up his face with a howl.

Stede shrieks and kicks him for the fourth time since they’ve climbed in here, but it’s worth it as they dissolve into a pile of giggles together.

“One dark stormy night, in these very woods...” Ed begins, but they’re laughing too hard. “There were two guys in a tent...” At that, Stede lets out a loud catcall and Ed snorts laughing. He can’t think of a story anyway, so he gives up. They’re pressed close enough together that Ed can feel the rise and fall of Stede’s chest. There’s nothing wrong with the tent, and the fact that there’s two of them squished into it isn’t helping, but it’s still a tent. It takes some manoeuvring for them to be able to lie down and neither can straighten their legs.

“You don’t need to sleep in here, man, seriously”, Ed says, as they lay on their backs catching their breath.

“It's fine!” Stede promises. “Rustic.”

“My place is rustic, Stede. This is a tent.”

“It’s f-”

“What if an angry possum gets in?”

Ed smirks at the short pause that follows. Gotcha.

“You’re sure you don’t mind if I sleep on your couch?”

Ed finds Stede’s knee in the dark and gives it a comforting pat. No angry possums on his watch. “Let’s go!”

The couch folds out easily and Ed has no trouble finding sheets. He lays his mom’s crocheted quilt down over the covers.

“It’s a beautiful quilt”, Stede murmurs, and Ed hadn’t even realised he’d zoned out, staring at the colours. “Home made?”

Ed nods as Stede pats the bed beside him.

“Mum liked to crochet”, Ed tells him as he sits. Stede gives him a fond smile and Ed just keeps talking. “She didn’t have a lot of time to do it though. Worked a lot, looked after me.”

Ed doesn’t usually tell people about back then. When he can’t avoid it, he gets by with as few details as possible. Mainly he just lies, it’s not like anyone ever knows the difference. But Stede’s hand settles over his and Ed knows Stede isn’t fooled.

It all pours out - how hard his mum worked to make a home for them, how they had to leave the cabin, how Ed had eventually managed to buy it back for her in her later years - he stops talking a dozen times, embarrassed, but Stede just listens, asks all the right questions, and when Ed tells him about his mum’s passing, Stede squeezes his hand.

Ed’s exhausted.

He hasn’t thought about any of it in years, hasn’t talked about it, maybe ever. He’s sad and drained and when Stede sinks into the bed, Ed follows.

He only closes his eyes for a moment.

Chapter Text

Dawn blooms bright over the lake, golden hues lighting up the kitchen.

Ed blinks awake.

The first thing he becomes aware of is the caress of silk against his skin. Ed pouts a sleepy smile, shifting just enough to enjoy the flow of the fabric as it glides over his arm.

Then he spots Stede, lying on the opposite side of the pull-out.

Shit.

Ed grimaces, stretching the sleep away. He must have fallen asleep. The last thing he remembers is Stede placing his hand over Ed’s own.

Ed stretches, his gaze on Stede. He’s still fast asleep, if the splayed limbs and crooked eye mask are any clue.

Ed takes a deep breath.

He feels good, better than he’s felt in a long time.

When was the last time he’d woken up actually feeling bright and refreshed and all that good stuff you were supposed to feel when you slept well?

Ed extricates himself from the couch, wincing at the squeaking springs, but Stede doesn’t budge. In the kitchen, Ed bypasses the coffee maker, reaching instead for the instant. Just a quick cup to get his eyes open, leave the good stuff for later, when Stede gets up. Anyway, he’ll miss what’s left of the sunrise if he doesn’t hurry up.

Ed pushes his feet into a pair of sliders and shuffles out the kitchen door towards the dock.

He hasn’t set up his deck chair.

Ed feels a flash of irritation at the upset in his routine before he remembers who upset it and how much he enjoyed last night. The irritation is gone before it can take hold.

It was a good night, Ed remembers with a smile.

Hours of sitting on his couch, babbling to some guy he’s just met and Ed honestly can’t remember the last time he’s felt so comfortable around anyone. But Stede feels... familiar? Maybe that’s why Ed had started talking about his mum.

Stede feels like someone he’s known all his life.

Lost in thought, Ed doesn’t hear Stede making his way down the dock until he’s almost by his side.

“Morning person”, Stede comments, with barely a hint of disapproval in his tone. “I wouldn’t have guessed.”

Ed smirks into his mug, feeling proud of himself for managing to surprise the man who has done nothing but surprise him. They watch the lake glow under the morning sun in comfortable silence as he finishes his coffee.

“Do you like waffles?” Stede asks eventually.

“Sure”, Ed grunts, “But I don’t have an iron”, he explains, making a mental note to buy a waffle maker at the next opportunity. “Or food, really, I usually kind of fish when I’m up here, but we can go into town...”

“Don’t worry, I have a waffle iron, come on!” Stede turns towards the house. “And bacon! D’you like bacon?”

“Yeah, mate”, Ed laughs, following. “I like bacon.”

*****************************************

The coffee is almost ready when Stede catches up with Ed in the kitchen, dropping an armful of food down on the counter. Ed spies bacon, strawberries, eggs... he can’t wait.

Stede gets started on the waffle batter, which is going fine until - “D’you have a mixer?”

Ed grimaces. He does, but Stede’s not going to like it.

“I need the egg whites beaten.” Stede deadpans, side-eying the - let’s call it vintage - hand whisk that Ed produces after a brief search. “To stiff peaks.”

It takes Ed an eternity to get the eggs right, but it’s a small price to pay for fresh, homemade waffles, he figures.

So it turns out, despite travelling with his own waffle iron, that Stede hasn’t ever actually made waffles before and the first batch isn’t great. The batter seems okay, but he overfills the iron and the waffles aren’t cooked through. The second batch is better, but they’re so busy perfecting their waffle technique that they let the bacon burn on the pan.

There’s enough batter for more though, so they each get one bacon waffle and one strawberries & cream waffle.

“What a perfect day for a hike!” Stede says as he swallows a piece of strawberry-topped waffle. “Any good trails around?”

Ed blanks for several seconds - he hasn’t hiked the area in years, he’s much more of a sit-on-the-dock kind of guy. “Uuuuh...” he stalls, doing a quick mental inventory of the tourist trails around.

“You must know some great spots off the beaten track!”

Ed takes a slug of coffee, refusing to allow the mischievous look in Stede’s eye to distract him. “I might know a spot or two”, he admits at last. “Yeah.” It’s not a lie. Ed knows the area okay, even if he doesn’t go exploring anymore. Yeah, there’s a nice lookout that’s a long but easy enough climb away, he can bring Stede there.

“We can pack ourselves a nice lunch!” Stede beams before bouncing towards his ice-box of delicacies and delights.

Stede starts a fruit salad while Ed preps two water bottles and sandwiches. Stede hands him a stick of that fancy French bread, so obviously, Ed sets about compiling two deli-style subs for them, full and unwieldy, but delicious-looking.

Ed places everything into Stede’s hiking bag and goes to get ready. He hesitates between his boots and a pair of old sneakers, since neither is ideal for walking, eventually deciding on the sneakers, figuring his boots are too heavy for the heat of the day. He grabs a rumpled pair of cargo shorts and pairs it with an old band tee. On a whim, he drags his hair into a bun and checks the mirror.

Not bad. Not his best, but not bad, if he does say so himself.

He finds Stede by the door, dressed and looking ready for the outdoors. Ed grabs the backpack and slings it over his shoulder to distract himself from staring.

It doesn’t really work.

Stede is in a pair of short chinos that make his legs look like they go for miles, golden hair catching the light before they even make it outside. His shirt highlights the broadness of his shoulders and the shape of his arms, loosening at the waist. “Here”, Stede says, holding out a chain.

Ed ducks on reflex, letting Stede loop it over his head. A safety whistle settles against his chest, matching the one Stede wears. “Why d’you have two?” he asks, inspecting the bright orange metal.

“They came in a three pack, don’t ask me why.” Stede shrugs. “You might as well take one of the spares. Wouldn’t want to lose you...”

Stede winks at him.

It’s so unexpected that it takes Ed several moments to process, standing dumbfounded as Stede strides out the front door with a merry whistle and a spring in his step.

*****************************************

An hour into their hike and Ed hates everything. His shoes hurt, the mosquitoes won’t fuck off, Stede keeps finding more bugs as if they needed finding and he’s pretty sure he might have got them lost already.

“Are you limping?” Stede frowns, pausing to wait for Ed to catch up. Again.

“It’s fine”, Ed grumbles, scrambling up a steep couple of rocks. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, you’re bleeding.”

“M’fine!”

But Stede has slipped the backpack from Ed’s shoulders and Ed tries not to make a face at how his sweat-clammy tee peels from his back.

He sits where Stede tells him to sit and flaps his shirt in what little breeze there is while Stede rummages through his supplies.

The blood on his leg is nothing more than a scratch he can’t even remember getting, but Stede cleans it fastidiously. “Do you have blisters?”

Ed shakes his head. “Not yet, don’t think.”

Stede produces some tape, along with a ziplock containing a pair of socks. “Put these on, the socks are double lined, it should feel a lot better. Stops the rubbing.”

Stede takes some water, admiring the terrain while Ed tapes his heels and changes his socks, guiltily shoving his old ones into the bag. “So I don’t hike”, he grumbles, re-tying his laces. “More of a bike guy, even as a kid.”

Stede turns, eyebrows raised. “Dirt biking?” he asks, excitement creeping into his tone.

Ed gives a nod, pouting at his feet. They feel a lot better already.

“Sounds fun! I always wanted to do that, but my parents wouldn’t get me a dirt bike. I went anyway, one time. On the bike I’d had since I was seven, with no gears or anything.” He grins rebelliously at Ed. “Broke the bike, of course, got grounded and...” He twists his arm, showing Ed his elbow. “Got this scar.”

There’s no scar.

Ed squints.

There’s maybe a pale patch. “Cool”, Ed says.

Stede preens, handing over the water bottle as Ed reaches for it. “Thanks for coming with me, then”, he says, while Ed drinks. “If it’s not your thing. I appreciate the company.”

Stede pulls out the map and examines it with a wary eye.

“We’re not lost”, Ed grouses. “I do know my way around here, you know. We’re just a little...”

“Off-piste?”

Ed scowls, though that’s pretty much exactly what they are. They’re not too far off the track, Ed’s pretty sure. A steeper climb, but a more direct path to what Ed hopes is the lookout he remembers. That’s the plan.

“Sounds exciting”, Stede continues. “Like explorers.”

Ed offers a weak smile, but Stede’s positivity is lifting his mood. Fuck, he better be right about the trail. He’ll never live it down if he gets them properly lost.

Fortunately for Ed, about an hour later, he finds the spot he wants to show Stede.

They’ve been mostly on the right track and even though Ed can’t remember the way exactly, once they get near the summit, he remembers where to look.

“It’s this way, no?” Stede frowns, pointing up the final climb to the mountain top.

“Nah”, Ed grins, “I have a reservation.” He cuts through the shrubs, then, confident that Stede will follow.

It’s exactly as he remembers.

When he hears Stede behind him, he reaches back to take his hand. “Watch your step there. Head too”, he warns, guiding Stede onto the ledge.

Stede gasps as he ducks into Ed’s hiding place. It’s a recess in the rock face, hidden from view, just a few feet beneath the summit.

Okay, so it’s a bit smaller than Ed remembers and they scramble to lay out their blanket and sit down to admire the view. It’s a little cramped, but not too precarious, while the view is every bit as good as it ever was, even with all the houses that have popped up over the years.

“Wow!” Stede sighs. “This is amazing!” He cracks the water again, handing it to Ed first. “How’re your feet?” he asks, eyes on the view.

“Mm”, Ed answers as he swallows. “Fine, thanks. The socks made a big difference.” The view is breathtaking, with the lake stretching the length of the forest-covered valley, where cabins big and small peak through the canopy. A small wind farm, six turbines, add to the mixed landscape.

“Oh!” Stede points at the turbines. “That was one of our projects. My old company, I mean.” Ed frowns as Stede grows flustered and trails off with a quiet, “Retired now.”

Ed wants to ask.

Waits for Stede to continue.

Instead, Stede turns his attention to the cave wall, finding old markings there. He reaches out, tracing lines that clearly spell the name ‘Ed’. He smiles at Ed, who grins back in silent acknowledgement: yes, that’s him. Stede’s fingers move on, finding another etching. “Kraken?” he frowns.

“That’s the cool nickname I tried to get everyone to call me when I was about ten.”

“Did... did they?”

“Not really.”

“Well, I think it’s a very cool nickname. I could call you Kraken, if you’d like?”

Ed chuckles drily. “Nah, mate. Thanks, but I think all that’s behind me now.”

Ed watches Stede find the doodle too and chuckle as his fingers trace the lines. “This place is wonderful, Ed, how did you ever find it?”

Ed purses his lips. It’s not a happy memory. “Ran away”, he mumbles. “My dad...” Ed hates the part where people find out. They get this look of pity and he can’t stand it. When he chances a glance at Stede though, he sees something that looks more like understanding.

Ed hadn’t expected that from someone like Stede. After that, the words just pour out of him. Again. For the second time in less than twenty four hours, Ed finds himself telling a near stranger all about his dad and how Ed used to run away, hiding in the woods until the shouting stopped. How once he ran so far and so long he’d stumbled across the ledge and hadn’t gone home for two days.

His mum had been so worried, he never stayed away that long again, though he came back to his secret spot often.

Silence follows. Ed’s too lost in thought to be sure how long it draws out.

“I’m glad you brought me here”, Stede murmurs, a moment before his stomach gurgles and the silence is broken as they share a quiet laugh.

Ed pats his knee, partly in reassurance that there is food, partly in thanks for listening. “I made sandwiches.”

Stede pulls their lunch from the backpack, and they eat in silence, watching the view, sharing silent, conspiratorial giggles every time they hear tourists on the peak above them, oblivious to their hideout.

The trek home goes better than the climb and they chat easily the whole way. Stede swears he found a new species, no matter how much Ed promises him those butterflies are common on the mountain.

Once they get home, Ed convinces Stede to hit the shower first, but it comes conditional on the promise that he’ll let Stede check his feet are alright.

It’s hours early for dinner, but Ed finds some chicken in Stede’s supplies and whips up a quick marinade before grabbing a shower of his own.

“Sit!” Stede orders, as soon as Ed reappears, wrapped in his borrowed robe. Stede hasn’t bothered dressing either, his own robe cinched tight at the waist but threatening to slip from his shoulder. He waves Ed onto the foldout and climbs on after him.

Stede does a quick inspection of Ed’s heels, nodding in satisfaction as he fails to uncover any blisters.

Next, he tugs the massage oil that Ed had been inspecting out of his hands and sloshes out a generous amount.

The rich perfume wafts over Ed in a cacophony of scents he could only begin to name as woody and citrus. The freshness the oil brings with it tells him there must be some mint in the mix, tingling at his skin, soothing as Stede spreads it around.

There’s a moment of tension as Stede begins to apply pressure, but Stede simply glances at him with a serene smile, and Ed feels himself relax into his confident grip. He doesn’t even really have to force it, the tension leaving his body with every movement of Stede’s hands. Ed sighs in contentment as Stede works. The hands on his ankles feel too personal, so he resists the urge to close his eyes, afraid it might get him thinking. He finds himself gazing at Stede, reflecting on their short time together and thinking about how completely Stede has upturned Ed’s weekend routine. Not only does Ed not mind, he’s having a blast. He doesn’t want to think about how long it’s been since he felt a connection with someone. Doesn’t want to reflect on just how connected he feels to Stede, despite only meeting yesterday.

There is a bit of tenderness on his heels and he twitches reflexively when Stede touches the spot. He nearly melts when Stede offers an earnest apology, whispered between them, like a secret they’re sharing.

Ed decides he needs a distraction. He drags Stede’s vanity case towards himself and rummages through it, finding a small collection of nail polish. The colours are pretty, if unexciting, but Ed picks a peachy shade that has a nice shimmer to it. His bare legs stretch across the bed, his feet in Stede’s grasp. He’s trying to recall any time he’d been so little clothed in the presence of a man who wasn’t his lover, but nothing comes to mind. He waves the nail polish in Stede’s direction and gets a silent go-ahead, so he sets about painting his fingernails.

He has to concentrate.

Stede is damn good.

He doesn’t tickle, spots all the aches without Ed telling him, easing away the sore spots until Ed feels physically lighter.

By the time Stede gets up to wash his hands of oil, Ed’s nails are looking great and he feels light as air.

“What’s the plan for the chicken?” Stede calls from the kitchen.

Ed hadn’t even realised he’d grown almost groggy from the pampering, but he grunts the worst of the relaxation away and extricates himself from the couch to find his sliders. “Barbecue?” he offers, shuffling drowsily into the kitchen.

They divvy up the tasks, Ed in the kitchen preparing the chicken skewers, while Stede goes outside to light the coals in the small grill Ed keeps by the kitchen door. It feels nice, the two of them cooking together in the no man’s land between shower and bedtime, comfortable enough together to be wearing just their robes.

“Hey?” Ed calls, summoning some of the courage and curiosity that had failed him earlier, on the mountain.

“Hmm?”

“You never told me how the hell you bought that shitty old cabin, anyway.”

Stede doesn’t answer immediately, but Ed can hear him moving outside, poking at the coals. Then, Stede leans around the doorframe to catch Ed’s eye.

“I suppose you could say I got conned.”

“Yeah”, Ed laughs. “That much I figured.” When he glances up though, he finds Stede looking more sad than embarrassed, or even angry, like Ed would have been if he’d been duped into falling through the floorboards of a shack barely larger than an outhouse.

“I retired early, you see”, Stede continues, at Ed’s curious expression. “When my father died, I got divorced, came out - not actually in that order...” Stede trails off, rolling his eyes at a very intrigued Ed. “It’s... fine.” Stede waves his hand dismissively. “Mary and I are fine and she’s got Doug now and the kids are happy and...” Stede sucks in a breath. “But that’s not... you’ll probably meet them, when they... But anyway!” Stede steps out of sight as he turns his attention back to the coals in the grill. “I put in for early retirement from the firm my father had forced me to work at, with his cronies and all the other nepo-hires.” Stede sighs, going back to the grill. “This was their parting shot. One final insult, the cherry on top of a lifetime of bullshit...”

Ed’s eyebrows must be past his hairline, he’s so surprised. And impressed. He hadn’t expected a life story and he sure as hell hadn’t expected that story. He definitely catches that bit about meeting Stede’s family, though, an unexpectedly intimate offer, so casually suggested that it brings a pleased blush to his cheeks as he skewers the chicken, tucking his reeling thoughts away for another time.

Stede takes an audible breath and picks up his story. “Well, anyway, long story short, they offered me, well really, they kind of insisted that I take this special retirement package, that included this-” Ed doesn’t need to see him to know Stede is throwing up air quotes, “real estate opportunity where I would buy some land the company wanted to shift. Not cheaper or anything, that wasn’t the opportunity, I could buy it, that was the opportunity...” Ed stifles a laugh, out of sight in the kitchen, before his expression turns sour. Poor Stede. He had come dangerously close to getting hurt because of some idiots trying to rip him off. Ed stabs the chicken onto the skewers like he’s stabbing all Stede’s shitty coworkers.

Ed hears Stede stir the coals a little forcefully as he continues his story. “They showed me all these pictures, I guess of one of the other lodges, and I should have just said no, but I’ve spent my entire life trying to do what was expected and I kind of knew about the area from the turbines project and the cabins really did look lovely and I just wanted to get the hell out of there with minimum fuss and never, ever have to see any of them ever again, so...” Stede catches his breath in one deep inhale. “So here I am.”

Honestly, Stede could definitely sue, though Ed had the feeling that was never going to happen and the guys at the company clearly knew it too, to pull a stunt like that. Joke was on them, though, because even if Stede had paid full price for a lakehouse that didn’t exist, he still had the land and it was going up in value every year. “So here you are”, Ed smiles, picking up the tray of prepared skewers and joining Stede at the grill. “Why did you go inside? You obviously knew you couldn’t spend the night there.”

“Yeah.” Stede sighs again. “I knew that. I guess...” Stede starts plopping the skewers on the grill a little more aggressively than necessary. “I needed to wallow in my own foolishness for a bit. I should have known it was too good to be true. The Badmintons have been my bullies since I was a child, but I still fell for it. I thought they were trying to save a bit on my retirement, maybe get rid of some land the company was going to get taxed on...” Stede gives a shrug as he hands the tongs back to Ed. “I didn’t care as long as I got away. The lake looked so peaceful, my little corner of the world where I could start over, but no. They couldn’t let me go in peace, they had to get in one last laugh at my expense and as soon as I saw that wreck of a cabin I knew I had to stand inside to let reality sink in. It’s the only way I can put it behind me.”

If anyone else had said something like that to Ed, he’d probably have been embarrassed for them, but something about how dismissively Stede tells the story makes Ed want to admire him. Hell, Ed wants to watch from the sidelines and cheer him on. “Well”, Ed’s not sure what to say, if he’s honest. Not really the pep-talk kind of guy. “You’ll get the last laugh.”

“Right!” Stede chuckles half-heartedly.

“I’m serious!” Ed bumps his shoulder against Stede’s. “If those people were trying to screw you, they were not smart. The cabin’s shit, but the property is gold. You can build a nice little place for yourself, the kids will love it.” Ed’s stomach does an ugly flip as it occurs to him Stede might not want to live in a cabin in the woods full time. “You could always let it out, if you’re not going to stay.” Ed barely avoids grimacing at the thought of a succession of new neighbours. He could do with a beer.

Stede hums uncertainly, taking the tongs back from Ed and turning the chicken.

“I’m telling you, it’s not so bad around here”, Ed calls over his shoulder as he turns into the kitchen.

“Mmm,” Stede hums again, and Ed hears the mischief in his tone before he speaks. “Trouble is, you never know what kind of neighbours you’ll get stuck with.”

Ed makes a face at his near-empty fridge. “Got shit news for you, mate, you’re stuck with the kind of neighbour who only has one beer left!”

Stede leans into the doorway just enough to smirk at a despondent Ed. “Well, lucky for my neighbour, I came prepared.”

“Course you did.” Ed grins. He should have known.

“I think they’re still in the trunk, though. Six-pack. Blue and pink cans.”

Ed finds them in the trunk, six cans of some micro-brew. He shoves two cans in the freezer, two in the fridge and brings two outside. “Wanna risk one warm?”

Stede acquiesces, busily piling the cooked skewers onto a plate.

Ed tucks two deck chairs under his arm. He has to adjust his robe before he can manage everything he needs to carry. Stede gives his own robe a check before taking the two cans of beer from Ed and picking up the plate of chicken. He follows Ed down the dock so they can catch the sunset while they eat.

The evening sun is warm on their bare legs.

The chicken is good. The beer is okay, but the cold ones that follow are better. Stede tells the story of how he discovered the brand and when it gets darker, they tuck their legs into their robes for warmth and Ed points out some of the stars he knows.

When the chill of the night air becomes too much, they reluctantly make their way inside.

Stede sighs at the sight of the fold-out, the vanity case and cosmetics scattered across its rumpled sheets.

“Just leave it”, Ed stifles a yawn. “You can sleep in my bed. C’mon.”

“Rea-?” Stede stammers, surprised. “You sure?”

Ed grunts, already shuffling towards his room. “Don’t get too excited about it, I’m definitely gonna fall asleep on ya again.”

Chapter Text

When Ed opens his eyes, he finds himself lying on his side, facing Stede.

Ed drinks in the sight of him.

Golden waves splay around his absurdly charming sleep mask. His slack lips flutter together with every exhale and they’re so close that Ed can feel Stede’s breath on his bare collarbone.

Ed’s belly heats at the sight of Stede in his bed.

They must have reached for each other in the night because his hand is caught in Stede’s, cupped protectively over his fingers.

Ed nestles further into the covers, happy to keep Stede company while he sleeps, unwilling to break away from his touch.

He wants Stede.

The thought was already there, running through his brain almost since they met. Ed wants him. He wants to reach right over and...

But he wants so much more. Ed wants him to stay, to smile, to laugh, to talk about nothing and everything.

Ed wants him around, wants him here, wants this once-in-a-lifetime, special person never to go away.

Ed will miss him when he goes, he knows that much for sure.

He hadn’t even realised he was lonely.

Stede’s breathing changes with a splutter and a huff, and Stede pulls his hand away.

Ed draws his own hand under the covers, close to his belly, missing the warmth of Stede’s touch. “Morning”, he smiles, as Stede thumbs his eye mask aside to squint at him.

“Mmm”, Stede grunts, arching his back as he stretches. He flops back with a grin at Ed, mask askew across his forehead as his hand drops back down between them. “Morning”, he smiles, his voice rough with sleep.

Ed moves on instinct, leaning forward, eyes on Stede’s lips.

He’s halfway there when he sees Stede’s eyes widen in surprise, and Ed stalls in embarrassment, settling into the bedding like all he meant to do was move closer. Panic flashes through him. Did he mess up? Should he say something? Will Stede? He isn’t too surprised to see Stede prop himself onto his side to face him, but he doesn’t expect him to lean in, closing the remaining gap between them.

Stede’s mouth finds Ed’s, hot and slow and drowsy. The covers shift as Stede shuffles closer, his hand finding Ed’s hip, lingering even after Stede breaks their kiss. “Good morning”, he smiles, catching Ed’s lips again.

And again.

Fuck.

Ed mumbles something that doesn’t sound like anything, and Stede breaks away with a confused frown.

It’s delightful.

“Hmm?” he asks.

“Morning”, Ed rasps, and Stede radiates happiness at the word.

“Is this okay?” Stede asks, abandoning Ed’s hip to card his fingers through Ed’s hair. They’re so close he barely has to move to nuzzle Ed’s nose.

A giddy laugh bubbles up Ed’s throat as he presses in. “Yeah, mate”, he chuckles, lips caressing Stede’s. “This is definitely okay.”

Stede moves again, settling against Ed like he’s been there all his life, curling his arm around Ed to tug him close. There's a palm splayed between Ed’s shoulder blades that raises him into Stede’s kisses.

Stede is strong, Ed realises with an eager shudder, a lot stronger than he looks. Ed clings to him, arms wrapped around Stede’s shoulders, fingers clutching silky, golden waves that smell just like Ed.

Stede feels like home.

The graze of Stede’s cock against Ed’s own is like a jolt of electricity, sending tremors up his spine and tingles of energy down his limbs. He’d forgotten they’d both slept in just their robes, the heavy fabric trailing behind them as they seek each other’s body.

Ed wriggles against Stede with every kiss. His hips roll, urgent and demanding, his thighs part, welcoming Stede to settle between them and when Ed breaks their kiss just to stare into lust-glazed hazel eyes, Stede gives the tiniest nod. A question.

Ed nods back. An answer.

When Stede’s hand moves over the swell of his ass, though, Ed eases away. “Hang on, I need a minute to get ready”, he says, climbing out of bed, letting his robe slip from his shoulders as he stands. It slides to the floor as he steps into the bathroom. “There’s, you know, condoms and that in the bedside table.” He sticks his head back out of the bathroom, barely summoning the courage to catch Stede’s eye. “Maybe double-check the date on them”, he adds, before disappearing back into the bathroom.

In the relative safety of the bathroom, Ed takes a breath. He’s not nervous, exactly, but Stede has him wanting to be his best. He casts an eye over his reflection, flexing a little, giving his confidence a little boost. Ed runs the shower, cleaning himself as thoroughly as haste allows. Grabbing a towel, he remembers that his lube is in the bedside cabinet, along with the condoms. Dammit. Having a guy prep you doesn’t always feel great, so Ed usually prefers to do that part himself, but he walks back into the bedroom, figuring Stede won’t mind watching.

Stede is kneeling on the bed, knees splayed, struggling with an unrolled condom. He looks distinctly panicked as he looks up at Ed patting himself dry. As he fidgets with his towel, Ed eyes the condoms and lube that Stede has pulled from the drawer.

“I haven’t, ah, done this... in a while”, Stede explains, giving up his struggle with the condom.

Stede’s robe has slipped from his shoulders and Ed reaches over to tug it free. “That’s okay. Been a minute for me too”, he says, as Stede shifts to let him pull away his robe. Ed ducks to pick his own robe off the floor, then drapes both over the end of the bed and hangs his towel on the back of the bathroom door. He hasn’t come up with anything else to say by the time he’s done, and Stede hasn’t moved, so Ed just picks up the bottle of lube.

“I can-”, Stede begins, reaching for the bottle in Ed’s hand. “If you like?” When Ed hesitates, though, his face falls. “Oh, I’m sorry, have I misunderstood? Did you mean for me to, uh...?”

“No!” Ed shakes his head. Stede looks like he’s about to put on his brave face again, an odd mix of nerves and determination in his expression, and Ed wonders about his experience. “I want you to fuck me”, Ed clarifies.

“All right.” Stede rallies a little at that, patting Ed’s side of the bed in invitation. Ed is welcomed back to bed with a kiss that chases a lot of the awkwardness away. “You’ll have to talk me through it”, Stede warns him, bringing some of the awkwardness right back. Ed nods mutely. There’s something about Stede’s unfailing honesty that throws him off balance. Ed isn’t used to that kind of vulnerability, but instead of shying away from it, he finds himself drawn in, feeling closer to Stede with every moment. It’s a good feeling, one he wants to offer Stede in return, and he suddenly realises he wants Stede to prep him. Ed settles on his back, parting his legs. He’s not sure what to do with his hands, but Stede is leaning against the bed so Ed wraps a hand around his forearm and Stede gives him a grateful smile.

There’s the snick of the lube being opened, and Stede’s hand trails a cold wetness across Ed’s abdomen, then his cock, before a slick hand cups his balls. Ed looks down at where Stede touches him and then back up to his face. Stede has a really intense focus, staring down at Ed’s cock like he’s studying for a test.

“You don’t need to do any of that”, Ed mutters, when it seems like Stede has been fondling his sack for some time.

Stede’s hand stills at Ed’s words and he glances up at him in surprise, before easing his hand up to stroke Ed’s cock. “I’m sorry”, he whispers. “I like that, I thought it would feel good for you too. You don’t like having your balls played with?”

The question throws Ed for a loop and he frowns in confusion. What Stede was doing felt great, it’s just that Ed isn’t used to someone doing it. Ed stares back at Stede in bemused silence, half wishing he hadn’t asked him to stop. Hell, he wants Stede to take him apart and he has no idea how to tell him. Stede spares him from finding an answer by capturing his mouth in a kiss.

The kiss is too tender, soft and agonisingly earnest, and Ed realises in that moment that Stede intends to make love to him.

Gone is the lazy morning fuck Ed had imagined - this man is about to reach into Ed and drag every feeling inside him to the surface.

Ed’s going to be raw with it.

It’s going to sting like a bitch when Stede leaves.

“I thought you’d just finger me”, Ed says, when they break their kiss.

Stede hums, scrutinising Ed’s expression as he drags his hand up Ed’s cock. “Does this feel good?” he asks, and when Ed nods, he’s rewarded with a kiss. Stede reaches down to roll Ed’s balls again. “Do you like this too?”

“Yeah”, Ed murmurs into Stede’s mouth.

Stede hums his satisfaction before reaching lower, fingertips slipping across Ed’s entrance, offering more kisses when Ed’s muscles twitch under his touch.

“I want you to feel good”, Stede whispers between kisses, as his fingers tease the tightness between Ed’s legs. Ed shifts, parts his thighs, and Stede pushes into him.

Ed blinks up at Stede, who is studying his face like he's literally trying to read it. Embarrassed, he turns his head and looks away until Stede strokes just the right way and Ed gasps, eyes drawn back to Stede’s face and his beautiful, earnest hazel eyes.

Stede stills, worried and confused.

“Just my prostate”, Ed mutters, turning his gaze away from Stede again, blinking in mortification.

“Oh!” Stede sounds so surprised that Ed turns back towards him, and once Stede catches his eye, he can’t bring himself to look away again. “Your prostate”, Stede whispers in awe, brushing Ed’s lips with his own. Ed feels him searching, finding that spot again. “Here?” Stede asks, his uncertainty turning to delight as Ed bites out another sound.

Shit. Stede wasn’t kidding when he told Ed he was freshly divorced and inexperienced. “Yeah”, he nods and Stede’s finger moves again, sending a bolt of pleasure through Ed. Stede is still searching Ed’s face for clues and Ed gazes back at him. He lets Stede see his pleasure as a finger curls inside him, as Stede learns that part of him, sees him writhe and shiver, hears the sounds he can’t bite back.

“All right, all right, all right!” Ed stops him after a while. “You’re supposed to be stretching me. Gonna come on your fingers if you keep that up!”

“Sorry”, Stede mutters, withdrawing his finger with a blush.

“S’okay”, Ed grunts. “Still want you to fuck me, though”, he adds, bringing a mischievious twinkle to Stede’s eye. The sight of it soothes Ed’s embarrassment, but does little to ease his impatience. “Gimme two more fingers first.”

Stede follows Ed’s instructions dutifully, two fingers, then three, until Ed reaches for a condom and holds it out for Stede.

When Stede hesitates, Ed remembers his struggle with the first condom. “Hey. Wanna see something cool?” he asks, ripping open a new foil. He pushes Stede onto his back and positions himself between Stede's legs as soon as Stede nods, holding the condom between his fingers and ducking down over Stede's cock.

He fucks it up, kinda.

He can’t remember quite how he’s supposed to hold the condom, he gets his breathing wrong and he doesn’t manage it in one smooth motion like he wants, but Ed swallows Stede’s cock, rolling the condom onto him with his lips.

He takes Stede as far as he can into his mouth and rolls the rest of the condom down with his fingers. Once the condom is on, he lets Stede’s cock go with a pop and a noisy kiss, grinning at Stede’s awed expression as he settles on his haunches.

Then Stede leans forward and kisses him. His hand comes up to cup Ed’s jaw, and if Ed was expecting a quick peck before they get down to business, of course he was wrong, because this is Stede. His kiss is soft and caring, so tender that Ed trembles, sitting between Stede’s legs, curled into each other like they’re in a bubble, a world all their own.

When they finally part, Stede is coaxing Ed to lie beneath him, but when Ed pictures himself looking into Stede’s overly-earnest eyes again, he knows he can’t handle that. Instead, he curls up on his side, tucking himself against Stede like the little spoon. Then he reaches up and draws Stede downwards to lie behind him.

There’s another moment of awkwardness while Stede figures out the logistics, pushing himself into Ed before trying to wrestle his arm under Ed’s shoulder to hold them together. Ed doesn’t mind so much, even when his hair gets pulled. Stede is gentle, or trying to be, so Ed shifts his weight, lifting his shoulder to let Stede get his arm beneath him, a welcome distraction. Stede’s bulk against Ed is an inexorable pressure that grounds him as he slowly relaxes around the thick, maddeningly still weight inside him.

Stede is cradling Ed’s head, his hand across his forehead, fingers in his hair, pressing kisses along Ed’s jaw soft enough to send shivers through him and finally, finally, he moves.

And it’s slow, just like Ed knew it would be, and it’s sweet and it’s all consuming. Stede leans into Ed, settling his weight against him, pressing him forward and holding him down as he moves in him. Stede feels inevitable, firm and steady right from the start, taking Ed over just as surely as the world keeps turning.

Stede’s breath is hot against his neck, ghosting across his cheek, Stede’s lips chasing after it, grazing his skin, huffing out straining gasps each time he thrusts.

There’s a bit too much lube, but Ed’s not complaining. It covers his ass, his thighs, slips and slides between them and Ed can feel it spreading to Stede’s thighs and belly, slapping back onto Ed, catching on the sheets until they cling to their skin.

Maybe Ed should be relieved that Stede is fucking him like this, slow and sweet.

Maybe... maybe Ed will get to experience a different kind of sex someday, when Stede is more sure of himself. Maybe one morning when the sky is still pink, they’ll have a quick, feral fuck down on the dock, praying they don’t get caught. Ed wonders if he could survive it.

Ed wonders if he’ll ever fuck Stede again.

There’s a hand curling across Ed’s temple, fingers soothing his hair, pulling him from his thoughts and back to the moment.

Stede’s hand has moved to Ed’s cock, but he’s not managing any kind of rhythm or any decent hold at all, and Ed’s eyes are wet with relief at the hope of holding out as long as Stede can.

He should do something with his hands. Lying the way he is, he really only has one arm free, but... he could grab Stede’s ass, urge him on. Stede moves before Ed gets the chance, and Stede cups his hand over Ed’s just like he did all night and Ed squeezes his eyes shut at the sight of it.

Well, he can’t move now.

All he can do is lie there, coming apart under Stede’s relentlessly sweet and attentive lovemaking.

Hips, Ed remembers. He can move his hips.

Ed shifts backwards, meeting Stede’s thrusts, his cock rubbing against the sheets. He finds the right rhythm and fucks back into Stede, meeting his every thrust until Stede is panting hard against him, biting back soft grunts as he nears his peak.

Stede loses his rhythm, hips stuttering, stilling against Ed’s ass as a desperate, torn cry meets Ed’s ear and when Stede starts thrusting again, Ed shudders into his orgasm, hearing himself cry out, clutching Stede’s fingers as he comes. Stede’s hips still again as he pushes deep.

Ed doesn’t feel Stede fill the condom. He’s messy and wrung out, and he’d give anything to feel Stede’s come.

Stede clings to him, hot and sweat-tacky, and Ed is in Heaven, lying in Stede’s arms as they catch their breath.

Stede hasn’t stopped touching him for even a second. His fingers are still toying with the strands at Ed’s temple, while his other hand dances across Ed’s body - he trails the lines of Ed’s biceps, down the length of Ed’s forearm, over the back of his hand to where Ed’s fingers strain to catch his.

Stede mouths at his shoulder, clumsy, too lazy to be kisses. “Thank you”, he murmurs against Ed’s skin.

Ed hums his confusion, but Stede curses softly and jerks away, reaching between them as his cock slips free.

Ed can feel him tugging at the condom, drawing away.

He hates it with every fibre of his being.

He doesn’t move as Stede gets up and pads to the bathroom.

When the tap starts running, though, Ed moves, pushing himself onto his elbows and swinging his legs off the bed, only for Stede to return with a washcloth.

“Don’t move”, Stede murmurs as he kneels in front of Ed. He starts with Ed’s face, pressing the washcloth to his heated cheeks, then down over his neck. “Better? You’re so warm, let me wet this again.”

Ed waits on the edge of the bed for Stede to return with the refreshed washcloth and kneel at his feet again, urging Ed to lie down, settling on his side once more. Ed can’t stop watching Stede’s face.

Stede sets his hand at the dip of Ed’s ass, just below his hip. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Ed shakes his head with a grunt. Sure, he’s moving slow and he’s feeling it, but no, he’s not hurt.

“Thank you”, Stede whispers again, cleaning Ed’s belly. “I mean it, Ed”, he continues, when Ed doesn’t respond. “Thank you. You made it so lovely.”

He coaxes Ed onto his front and continues to clean him. Ed feels firm fingers against the swell of his ass, spreading him open to make way for the cloth. Then the damp strokes, cool and refreshing.

“I think I went a little overboard with the lube”, Stede chuckles as he finishes and Ed laughs his agreement.

Stede helps Ed sit up again and juts his chin at the sheets. “I’ll toss them in the wash, they might be saved. You probably want to have a nice shower anyway.”

Ed nods, sitting gingerly.

Stede’s hand touches his butt again. It feels as intimate as anything they’ve done this morning. “You’re sure you’re not hurting?” he asks. When Ed nods again, Stede whispers another “Thank you”, and then silence stretches between them.

“Why ‘thank you’?” Ed murmurs.

Stede’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “Isn’t it polite?” he chuckles.

Ed shrugs. “Yeah”, he admits. “Polite and weird, but you’re very welcome and thank you.”

“Oh!” Stede laughs for real now and it lights up his face. “I mean you made me feel confident. Me and my polite weirdness.”

Ed jolts at Stede’s words, worried he might have hurt Stede’s feelings, bruising the very confidence he’s being thanked for, but Stede is smiling at him like he’s never been happier, and Ed smiles back.

Stede leans in to kiss him. “I haven’t felt confident very often in my life, so thank you, Ed, truly, for that.”

Ed isn’t sure what to say to that other than ‘you’re welcome’ again, but that’s all wrong. Honesty for honesty, that’s what he settles on. “Haven’t felt like that either, mate. Not in years. Maybe ever.”

Stede turns on his megawatt glow again and presses a kiss to Ed’s lips. It lingers, but that’s Stede’s thing, it seems. “Go shower, I’ll strip the bed. Meet you in the kitchen for brekkie.”

*****************************************

Ed hasn’t dressed, appearing in the kitchen doorway wrapped up in Stede’s dressing gown, damp hair falling about his shoulders.

Stede stops what he’s doing just to look, until Ed is blushing under his gaze. “Stop that”, Ed murmurs, closing the distance between them, fighting his grin so he can kiss Stede properly. He leans into the hand that comes to rest at his hip, their kiss deepening until Stede’s stomach gives an angry rumble and they part, giggling.

Stede’s hand falls to the dip of Ed’s ass again and he gives the tiniest squeeze that Ed recognises as the question it is. At least Stede didn’t ask him out loud if he was hurt yet again - Ed might have combusted. “I’m fine”, he murmurs instead, eyeing the breakfast Stede’s laid out on the counter.

Once they’ve prepared the coffee and waffles, they carry it all down to the end of the dock, hours too late for the sunrise, but early enough for the lake to be quiet.

“Shoulda had a dip before I showered”, Ed grumbles, mouth full of waffle.

“Do you swim a lot?”

Ed nods. “Quick dip every morning. Usually.” It’s true. Most weekends, Ed feels like he needs the water to be able to relax and make the most of his limited time at the cabin. This weekend was different though. He hadn’t swum and he hadn’t really missed it.

“Oh?” Stede says, curiosity in his tone as he stares into the water.

“Go ahead”, Ed laughs, “if you want to.”

“Looks cold.”

“Yeah.”

“There’s bugs.”

“Yeah.”

Stede eyes the ladder.

Ed hides his grin behind his coffee cup, wondering if Stede will go for it.

“Fuck it”, Stede mutters, putting down his breakfast and shucking his robe in one swift movement. Before Ed can say a word, Stede takes a running jump off the end of the dock and cannonballs into the lake.

“Oh, fuck!” Ed laughs, as Stede resurfaces with a screech.

“Oh my GOD!” Stede howls. “It’s fucking freezing!!”

“Yeah”, Ed laughs, putting down his plate to snatch up Stede’s robe.

“You do not swim every morning!” Stede scolds, swimming for the dock.

“I do!!” Ed laughs, as Stede draws near. “It warms up after a minute”, he adds, his words bringing Stede to a hesitant stop near the ladder. He treads water, pouting up at Ed, a dubious expression on his face. “Actually it’s not so bad”, he admits after a few moments. “It’s quite nice...”

“Come on”, Ed chuckles, holding out the robe. “Get dressed before the tourists spot you and there’s a scandal.” He definitely ogles Stede’s body as it emerges.

Stede shrugs on his robe and turns to Ed. He reaches to smear his wet palm across Ed’s face. “You were wearing your breakfast”, he explains and Ed hums his doubt as their lips meet.

When they head inside, Stede showers while Ed dresses and tidies up the kitchen, but once Stede is dressed, Ed finds him clearing his stuff from the couch.

Bit by bit, Stede’s things are tucked away into his luggage as Ed looks on in silence.

He hates it. Hates every moment of it, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. “Do you know how to fish?” he asks, before Stede can put away any more of his stuff.

“Nope.” Stede doesn’t stop tidying.

“Wanna learn?”

*****************************************

Ed had never realised he’s a bit of a yapper.

Maybe Stede brings it out in him.

They sit on the deck, lines cast into the water as they chatter, fall silent, chatter again as the morning turns to afternoon.

They even catch some fish.

“I have to leave in a few hours”, Ed says, breaking one of their comfortable silences. It’s a small lie - he’d probably be leaving around now, if it was just him. “I have work in the morning”, he explains, when Stede looks askance at him. “Need to get back to the city tonight.” Leaving in a few hours’ time will have him back at his apartment later than he’d like, but Ed doesn’t want to leave early today, even if it means getting stuck in a bit of traffic on the way back into the city.

Stede nods his understanding, turning silently back to his fishing. “I’ll get a room in town”, he says, eyeing his line glumly. “Maybe...”, he begins again, flashing Ed a bright smile. “Maybe I can pop by next time you’re here and we can do some fishing? Together?”

Ed barely hears him, lost in thought enough that he doesn’t notice how long the silence stretches out. He doesn’t register when the smile fades from Stede’s face. “What if you didn’t?”

Stede frowns, hurt in his eyes.

“What if you stayed here?” Ed blurts out. “With me, at my cabin”, he adds, just in case it wasn’t clear. “You’d have the place to yourself during the week and I’d see you on the weekends?”

“You want me to live here? As in, move in?” Stede asks.

“Yeah! You have to stay somewhere, especially if you’re going to get that wreck of yours rebuilt. You can’t live in a hotel. You could have your kids visit you here, I... wouldn’t have to be around that weekend if you didn’t want.”

Stede’s frown deepens. “Would I pay you rent, or...?”

“Nah, it’d be one of them mutually beneficial things.”

“Mutually beneficial?” Stede echoes, looking entirely doubtful.

“There’s been a couple of break-ins around here ever since it’s been filling up with rich city folk. It’ll be good to know there’s someone here keeping an eye on the place.” It’s true, but it’s not why Ed wants Stede to stay. Ed isn’t imagining the disappointment that flits across Stede’s face. He isn’t.

He definitely isn’t.

“I’m in the process of retiring too, but it’ll be a few months at least before I’m completely free”, Ed shrugs. “But I’ve been making it up here almost every weekend for a while now, and by the time your cabin is ready, well...”

“So...” Stede muses, while Ed avoids catching his eye, “It’ll be just like this weekend? With... us and... in a few months, maybe you’ll be here full time too?”

Ed kicks non-existent dirt off the dock. “Yeah.”

Stede carefully puts down his fishing rod and settles his hands on his hips as he fixes Ed with a critical squint. “You want us to live together? Here? After one weekend?”

“Fuck, Stede!” Ed groans. “If it all goes south, you’ll chuck your shit back into your Godzilla-mobile and go stay in town like you wanted in the first place, what have you got to lose?” Ed’s heart is pounding so loud it’s a wonder Stede doesn’t ask about the noise. And Ed’s not an idiot, he knows it’s a lot, but more than that, he knows it’s right. Every single one of Stede’s kisses has told him it’s right. “Just... say... say fucking yes.”

“Yes.”

Ed freezes. “Yes?”

Stede shrugs. “Yes.”

Fuck.

“Fuck”, Ed laughs. “Yes? YES?”

“Yes”, Stede smiles, taking a step towards Ed. His hand is outstretched, reaching for Ed’s hip. “If you’re sure...”

Ed’s fishing rod clatters to the dock as he drops it, closing the gap between himself and Stede in a single step. His hand curls around Stede’s nape. “Kiss me”, he breathes, as his lips meet Stede’s. “Kiss me”, he begs, when Stede’s mouth moves against his and his arms catch his waist. “Kiss me”, he whispers, between every caress of their lips, gentle touches that contradict his frantic pulse. “Stede, please kiss me.”

Chapter Text

Ed is grinning, cheeks mushing against the inside of his helmet as soon as he spots the flash of dark metal through the blur of the trees.

Stede’s here. Of course he is, he’s been here all week.

Ed can’t stop grinning about it.

Stede’s here.

Ed pulls up, tires leaving tracks in the soft ground. It must have rained during the week. He takes two tries to get the bike steady as he scrambles off.

He’s on the steps, fingers fumbling with his helmet; he’s inside the door, he’s yanking his boots off.

“He-ey!” Stede sing-songs, standing grinning in the kitchen doorway, a large knife in hand.

Ed feigns horror. “Hey... you didn’t cook, did you?”

Stede pouts and disappears into the kitchen.

“I made salad”, he calls, sounding sulky, but when Ed reaches the door, he can see Stede is grinning just as broadly as he is, leaning over the chopping board.

Ed practically skips across the kitchen to wrap his arms around Stede’s middle, draping himself across his back. Stede twists in his arms, turning his head to capture Ed’s mouth like they’ve done this every day of their lives, and Ed’s pulse rabbits as their lips meet.

The sound of the knife clattering to the counter has Ed breaking the kiss, but at the tiny, disappointed sound Stede lets out, Ed pauses, letting his eyes flutter shut as he nuzzles against Stede’s jaw, committing him and his tiny sounds to memory.

Time passes, Stede warm in his arms, nothing but their breathing between them, Stede’s hand coming to settle over Ed’s.

Ed only moves, ticklish and giggling, when Stede kisses his neck. “I’m sweaty”, he whines, squirming reluctantly out of reach, without releasing Stede’s waist. “I need a shower.”

Stede hums noncommittally, stroking the back of Ed’s hand. His fingers are clammy, and Ed wonders what kind of salad he was preparing, but he can’t seem to tear his gaze away from Stede’s eyes.

He can smell basil...

“I thought”, Stede says, the shyness in his tone making Ed smile. “Maybe I could join you?”

Ed’s breath leaves him in a silent gasp. “Where the fuck did you come from?” he whispers, watching a blush rise on Stede’s cheeks. “Huh? How’d I get so lucky?”

“You checked next door”, Stede shrugs, but his eyes are lit up and his grin matches Ed’s.

Ed shifts, tugging one hand free, sliding it over Stede’s. “Not a lot of time for sharing a shower if we want to catch dinner tonight.”

“Well”, Stede announces proudly, “Maybe I already caught dinner.”

“Yeah?” Ed smiles.

“In the fridge.” Stede cants his head at the fridge, loosening his grip on Ed’s waist.

Curiosity gets the better of Ed and he reluctantly lets go of Stede in favour of opening the fridge. There, on the middle shelf, on one of Ed’s smaller plates, is a fish, already cleaned and ready to be cooked.

Ed whistles lowly, genuinely impressed.

And so fucking proud, even if they’re definitely going to need that salad to fill them up.

“Shower, then”, he agrees, slamming the fridge shut.

Stede beats him to the bathroom, but Ed is naked and climbing under the water first.

When Stede climbs in behind him, Ed steps to the side to make room under the stream of water, watching as the golden waves darken and fall against Stede’s forehead. Ed loses himself in his thoughts, so caught up in admiring Stede that he’s stunned when Stede opens his eyes and surges forward to kiss him.

Ed expects heat, eagerness, but as ever, Stede takes his time. It’s a slow kiss, gentle and unhurried. Stede’s hand drops to Ed’s hip, easing them closer. Ed sinks into the kiss, lets himself be drawn in, led, touched. When Stede breaks the kiss, Ed finds himself swaying in his arms.

“I’d like to wash your hair.”

Ed acquiesces with a lazy blink as Stede reaches for the shampoo.

Stede eases his fingers through Ed’s hair, holding him close enough for Ed to rest his cheek against Stede’s shoulder as he works in the shampoo, careful not to tangle Ed’s curls.

Stede murmurs praise and instructions, offering kisses as he goes. By the time the water runs clear, Ed finds himself misty eyed, at a bit of a loss facing Stede.

“Did I pull your hair?” Stede frowns.

Ed coughs out a laugh, shaking his head. “No.” It comes out so hoarse he has to say it again.

Ed doesn’t know what else to say.

A part of him wants to say thank you. He’s trying to remember when he felt so cared for. Cherished. A part of him is desperately turned on, yet all he wants is for Stede to keep touching him, keep holding him. He never wants to leave Stede’s arms, and Stede? Fucking Stede wants to know if Ed’s hurt.

Ed can’t remember how to breathe.

He’s staring into concerned hazel eyes and he has no idea what to say.

Ed tightens his grip on Stede, shifting his weight, humming in satisfaction at the quiet but definite reaction Stede has to feeling their cocks press together. He reaches between them and Stede groans against his cheek as Ed fumbles to wrap his hand around their cocks.

Stede shifts, and Ed feels Stede’s fingers close over his, helping to stroke them together. Ed is panting, breathless, so much closer than he’d thought and it’s still... so... slow. Their hands move as one, lazy but firm strokes as they breathe each other in, sharing panting kisses. Water runs down Ed’s face. Stede is gasping for air against his mouth until he stifles a moan, shuddering against Ed, fingers tightening their grip, and Ed follows him over the edge.

Stede cleans them.

He takes his time about it too, for the most part, but then the water is off and Ed barely has time to feel the cold before he’s wrapped up in a towel and getting another kiss.

The bedroom still holds a bit of the day’s heat as Stede pulls on linen pyjamas, while Ed just wraps himself up in Stede’s blue robe.

Stede has laid claim to his side of the bed - a book and his reading glasses sit on the bedside table, along with a lip balm Ed happens to know smells amazing and makes Stede’s lips incredibly soft.

There’s a shirt on a hanger hooked onto the handle of the wardrobe door. Ed’s never seen the shirt before.

Stede’s clothes in his closet, in his laundry hamper. Stede’s skincare lining the bathroom sink.

Stede’s toothbrush beside Ed’s.

“Looks like we can still catch some sunset before dinner.” Stede’s voice cuts through Ed’s thoughts.

There are two chairs on the deck now, between them a small table is set with silver cutlery, a white tablecloth and a mug overflowing with wildflowers and ivy leaves.