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Chapter Text

Olivia can't stop replaying the scene in her head. Over and over as she sits, still soaked in Amanda's drying blood on the hard plastic chair of the hospital waiting room, she watches inside her mind as crimson blood blooms across Amanda's cream jacket in the wake of the shot. Olivia vaguely remembers running to Amanda's side, pressing her bare hands to the entrance wound and feeling the sticky warmth of Amanda's blood oozing up under her fingers, the already pale blonde becoming more ashen by the moment, her blue eyes growing glassy and unfocused as she slipped in and out of consciousness. She remembers someone screaming for an ambulance. She thinks it may have been her. So much of the day is a blur. 

Every time someone in a pair of blue scrubs walks by the waiting room Olivia's head snaps up to see if it is the surgeon. She checks her watch and sees that Amanda has been in surgery for three hours. Touch and go - that was the last update they had gotten from the surgical team an hour and a half ago. Amanda had lost so much blood, the bullet had ripped through her small body and out her back, leaving carnage in its wake. Olivia's head whips around when Fin clears his throat and adjusts his position on his own plastic chair across from her, startled to remember she isn't sitting here alone. She takes a moment to take in her squad sitting vigil, even the captain hunkered down at a table, working on a laptop in the back of the room. The door swings open and Olivia is on her feet and in front of the two surgeons in a split second, they look serious and Olivia would swear her heart stops for just a moment while she waits for them to speak.

"She's alive," the surgeon leads with the good news, aware of the tension in the room and the need to diffuse it at least a little. "It's going to be a long road but the hardest part is over. She lost nearly half her blood volume, I'm surprised she was lucid when they brought her in," the surgeon continued. "She'll recover here for a few days at least, and once she's discharged she'll need a lot of help for the first while. Physio will help with her strength and mobility but she's going to have to work at it and it's going to take time. Does she have anyone she can stay with once she's discharged? We can work with discharge planning to get her into a rehab facility if need be."

"She has someone," Olivia responded without thinking. She knew Rollins would balk at the idea of a rehab. She'd probably balk at the idea of going home with Olivia too but Olivia hoped she was the lesser of two evils in this case. And if not, maybe she could convince her to go with Fin or Amaro.

"Good. Most of the younger patients aren't huge fans of in patient rehab anyways," the surgeon replied. "We're lightening her sedation now, you can see her in pairs in about an hour or so." The surgeons turned and left, Olivia letting out a deep sigh, her shoulders sagging with relief. Amanda was okay. Well, as okay as anyone can be having been pulled back from the brink of death. 

****

Olivia sipped at another tepid cup of weak, bitter coffee that Amanda's nurse had brought for her an hour ago. Amanda had been in and out of consciousness since waking up from surgery, and the rest of the squad had long since left after wishing Amanda well. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them, stroking a hand through Amanda's hair as the blonde began to stir restlessly. Olivia sucked in a breath as Amanda's eyes flashed open, deep pools of glittering sapphire boring into Olivia, unshed tears clinging to her lashes.

"Honey are you in pain?" Olivia asked, planting her feet back on the floor and leaning over to push Amanda's hair out of her eyes. Amanda nodded, a few tears slipping down her cheeks.

"It hurts so much Liv," Amanda whispered, grasping at Olivia's hand and clinging tightly to the brunette. Olivia reached out to hit the call button, asking the nurse to bring pain killers. "I don't like how they make me feel Liv," Amanda whimpered, "The nightmares..."

"I know honey, but you need something." Amanda clutched desperately at Olivia's arm, keeping her from pulling away.

"Can you stay with me? I don't want to be alone," Amanda whimpered sadly.

"Of course honey, I'm not going anywhere," Olivia promised, the hand not clutched in Amanda's death grip reaching up to stroke the blonde hair again. Amanda shut her eyes, relaxing into the pillow as Olivia stroked her hair, her grip on the brunettes arm slowly loosening so they were just holding hands as the nurse arrived with a syringe full of narcotics. 

"Can I get you anything?" the nurse asked Olivia, "A sandwich or another coffee?" Olivia shook her head, she couldn't stomach another cup of the hospital coffee and she didn't want to impose by asking for anything more. The nurse finished administering Amanda's pain meds and Olivia watched as the blue eyes went glassy and fluttered shut as the drugs took effect, Amanda's hand slackening in hers as the blonde fell back to a fitful sleep. Olivia leaned back in the chair, maintaining her hold on Amanda's hand and shutting her eyes to try and get some sleep herself. 

Olivia was startled awake a few minutes later when the nurse returned quietly, setting a turkey sandwich, a diet coke and a packet of cookies next to Olivia on the table with a smile. Olivia mouthed a thank you, leaning over to pick up the drink and the cookies. She fumbled for a moment to open both unwilling to relinquish Amanda's hand now that the blonde was finally sleeping peacefully, starting when they are plucked from her hands, opened and returned by the nurse. Olivia smiled her thanks again as the nurse turned to leave. 

"She's lucky to have you," the nurse whispered, squeezing Olivia's shoulder as she left.

***

“Liv, I just want to go home,” Amanda knew she was dangerously close to sounding like a whiney toddler but the thought of having to stay at the senior detectives apartment made her so tense she knew she’d be uncomfortable the whole time. Her relationship with Olivia was tenuous at best, she knew that Olivia didn’t fully trust her after the dumb mistakes and misjudgments she’d made in her time with SVU, with her addiction issues just adding another layer. Amanda just wanted to sleep in her own bed and not have to worry about every move she made in Olivia’s space.

”Amanda,” Olivia sighed, the exasperation dripping from her tone, “You heard the surgeon, between the drugs you’re on and the mobility issues you’re going to have for the first while, you need help. You can’t go home alone.”

”I’ll hire someone then,” Amanda pleaded and Olivia rolled her eyes.

”Do you know how much it costs to hire a private nurse? Trust me Amanda, you can’t afford it.” 

“Hrmph,” Amanda groaned in protest, lowering herself awkwardly into the squad car Olivia had brought to drive them to her apartment.

”We will go pack a bag for you at your place and then you’re coming to my apartment. Or I can call Fin?” Olivia threatened.

”Fine! But just so you know I’m not happy about this,” Amanda complained.

”Yeah and it’s working out to be a real walk in the park for me,” Olivia said under her breath, slamming the passenger door shut before rounding the car and getting into the drivers seat.

***

Amanda was slumped on Olivia’s couch, a soft blanket that smelled like Olivia tucked around her as she stared through the tv, not even sure what she was watching. Olivia was at the opposite end of the couch, sitting up so straight it made Amanda’s back hurt just to look at her, typing away on her laptop. Amanda adjusted her position, grunting in discomfort as she aggravated her injury, her hand flying to press on her side to try and brace herself as she moved. Olivia looked up, her fingers stilling as she checked the time to see if Amanda was due for more pain medication. Annoyed, Amanda rolled her eyes,

”I’m fine mom,” she sassed, “Just moved the wrong way.”

"Well what do you need? I can help you," Olivia asked, setting her laptop on the coffee table. 

"Unless you can do something about my ass being numb from being in the same position for the last like three hours, I don't think there's much you can do," Amanda scoffed. Olivia rolled her eyes, her frustration with the injured blonde mounting. Olivia stood up from the couch and headed for the kitchen, deciding she needed a glass of wine to deal with a cranky Amanda, probably a whole bottle but a glass was a good start. When she returned, she found Amanda struggling to stand, swaying precariously as she clutched the arm of the couch and Olivia rushed over to help the stubborn blonde. 

"What are you doing?" she asked as Amanda wavered unsteadily. 

"I'm going to have a shower. I can't sit here any longer. And I feel so grimey and gross from the hospital," Amanda told her stubbornly, clutching the brunettes arm for balance. "And if I have to watch any more trashy tv I'm going to go insane." Amanda went to step away and her world tilted on its axis, the dizziness buckling her knees. Olivia's already firm grip tightened on Amanda's body, one arm looping around the blondes waist to ensure she didn't fall.

"Amanda..." Olivia started to protest, startling when Amanda pressed her face into her neck and sobbed. The usually stoic blonde shattered in her arms, her tears soaking the shoulder of Olivia's shirt as she cried pitifully. "Oh honey, it's okay," Olivia murmured softly, folding the blonde into a proper hug and stroking her fingers through her tangled blonde hair. Olivia maneuvered them back to the couch, Amanda landing in her lap as she sat and she rocked the younger woman gently, rubbing her back and speaking softly to try and calm her. Eventually the tears slowed and Amanda unburied her head from Olivia's neck, wiping tears from her cheeks and seeming to suddenly realize she was in the other woman's lap.

"I'm so sorry Liv," Amanda said, embarrassment colouring her cheeks. Amanda tried to scramble away, to regain some professional distance, hissing in pain as she moved but Olivia held fast, 

"You're okay, you don't need to move," Olivia assured her. 

"I'm sorry," Amanda said again dejectedly.

"Amanda," Olivia's tone was serious and Amanda forced herself to meet the senior detectives gaze. "You have nothing to apologize for, okay?" Amanda nodded stiltedly, not entirely believing Olivia but too sore and tired to try and fight any more. "What can I do to help you honey?" Olivia asked as Amanda settled back into her embrace.

"Nothing Liv. I guess the shower will have to wait," Amanda said sadly. Steeling herself, Olivia offered an alternative,

"You could have a bath? Would that make you feel better?" 

Amanda gave a small nod, her head nestled into the crook of Olivia's neck again, making no move to get up from the brunettes lap. Olivia continued to rock the smaller woman, her fingers working out some of the tangles in the blonde hair as they cuddled. After a few more minutes Amanda sat up, letting Olivia help her stand as another wave of dizziness threatened to knock her on her ass. 

"I've got you," Olivia murmured, wrapping an arm securely around Amanda's waist as they shuffled towards the bathroom. Amanda dropped her head to Olivia's shoulder and focused on keeping her feet moving. The walk from the living room to the bathroom seemed interminably long, and when Olivia finally lowered her onto the closed toilet, Amanda dropped her head between her knees as blackness crept into the edges of her vision. "You okay?" Olivia asked, stroking the back of Amanda's head and feeling her nod. Olivia stepped away and turned on the faucet, adding a few large scoops of lavender Epsom salts and some vanilla bubble bath to the water as the tub filled. 

"Liv?" Amanda said quietly, prompting Olivia to turn around and find her stuck halfway out of her shirt. "Help?"

Olivia chuckled quietly, moving to gently extract the blonde from her t-shirt. She dropped the garment to the floor, scooping Amanda's brace up and setting it on the counter for later. Olivia glanced over her shoulder at the water level in the tub before turning back to the blonde, intent on helping her finish undressing. 

"I'm going to help you get undressed, okay honey?"

Amanda blushed and refused to meet Olivia's eyes but she nodded, leaning forward to allow Olivia to unclip her bra. She could tell Olivia was being very purposeful with her hand placement, never touching Amanda's skin more than necessary to complete her task and Amanda felt a pang of disappointment. Amanda's tenuous hold on her emotions cracked a bit more and she could feel tears sliding down her cheeks as Olivia guided her to stand, her movements efficient and detached as she slid Amanda's pants and underwear off in one quick motion. 

"Very smooth, not your first time?" Amanda slurred slightly, the pain medication clearly erasing her inhibitions. Olivia chuckled in response, choosing not to dignify the suggestive comment with a response, leading the still staggering blonde to the tub and steadying her as she stepped in and sank into the bubbles. 

Chapter Text

Amanda closed her eyes and leaned back, letting the hot water soothe her aching body. She was acutely aware of Olivia's presence hovering next to the bathtub, she could feel the nervous energy radiating from the brunette.

"Liv," Amanda murmured, eyes still shut, "Go have your wine, I'll be okay."

"Amanda I can't leave you alone in here, it's not safe. You're groggy and dizzy and unsteady on your feet. And how exactly do you expect to get clean when you couldn't even get your shirt off?" Olivia protested.

"Alright, alright, you can stay. But go get your wine at least, your nervous hovering is freaking me out," Amanda told her, cracking one eye open to stare at the brunette who was anxiously looking everywhere but at the slick, wet blonde covered in bubble bath.

"Okay. But do not try and do anything until I'm back? Okay?" Olivia insisted, waiting on Amanda's reply.

"Mhmm, you got it," the blonde agreed.

Olivia walked quickly back to the living room, turning out lights, shutting down her laptop and turning off the tv, before grabbing her wine glass and heading back to the bathroom. Amanda still had her eyes closed when Olivia returned, the blonde looking the most relaxed Olivia had seen her in days. Olivia sank to the floor next to the tub, leaning back against the porcelain as she sipped her wine, letting the comfortable silence extend. Olivia nearly leapt out of her skin when Amanda's fingers suddenly slipped through her hair,

"Thank you for taking care of me Liv," Amanda murmured softly, her voice breaking. 

"You're welcome Amanda," Olivia replied, feeling like there'd been some sort of shift in the atmosphere of the bathroom. She wasn't used to seeing this vulnerable side of the blonde and it made her want to wrap Amanda up in her arms and hold her. "Let me know when you need help, okay?" Olivia heard the water slosh and she glanced over her shoulder to see the blonde nodding, eyes still closed.

"No one's ever really taken care of me before," Amanda kept talking, a dreamlike quality to her voice, tinged with sadness and regret. "My mama she...mostly I fended for myself. And for Kim..." Amanda trailed off.

"I'm sorry honey," Olivia replied, reaching back to squeeze Amanda's hand.

" 's not your fault," Amanda mumbled, clearly drowsy, "You're here now."

"Okay honey, you sound awfully tired. Let's get you clean and into bed," Olivia said, setting her empty wine glass on the counter and turning to face the younger woman. Amanda's eyes fluttered open, squinting against the bright bathroom lights.

"Kay," Amanda agreed quietly, struggling to sit up. Olivia helped her up before reaching for the showerhead, turning the spray back on to wet Amanda's hair. Amanda sighed as Olivia scrubbed shampoo into her scalp, tilting her head back and closing her eyes again. Olivia worked methodically, rinsing the shampoo before working a handful of conditioner. 

"Honey do you think you can stand up for a minute so I can help you get washed?" Olivia asked, swallowing hard at the thought of having her hands all over the younger woman's body. Amanda nodded, and stood carefully with Olivia's help, swaying slightly. "You ready?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah," Amanda said quietly.

Dropping her gaze, Olivia grabbed the soapy wash cloth she'd gotten ready and started to glide it across the blondes pale skin, starting with her arms and leaning in to wash Amanda's back, smiling as Amanda's head lolled forwards onto her shoulder.

"Feels nice," Amanda murmured, straightening back up as Olivia pressed her shoulders.

"Good," Olivia replied, steeling herself to touch the younger woman more intimately. "Okay to keep going?" Amanda nodded, closing her eyes as the cloth glided across her collarbones. Olivia soaped the blondes chest, being extra cautious around her wound, before sliding the cloth down to wash the tops of her legs, gulping audibly as she leaned around to complete a pass over Amanda's ass. The blonde hummed in appreciation, and Olivia's eyes snapped up to her face, finding the other womans eyes still closed, a small, blissful smile on her lips. Olivia hesitated, "Manda?"

"Hmm?" 

"Do you want to do this last part?" Olivia asked, her hands trembling as she waited for an answer.

"Oh. Sorry. Yeah I can..." Amanda stuttered, reaching for the cloth quickly, a scarlet blush racing up her cheeks. The quick movement sent her head swimming and she immediately leaned back into Olivia for support.

"Woah, okay honey," Olivia soothed, feeling the soapy water from the other woman's body soaking through her top. "It's okay, let me help." Amanda nodded into Olivia's shoulder, keeping her head buried there as she tried to regain her balance and fight back the deep blush of embarrassment. Olivia retrieved the cloth and after a deep breath, she slid the it between the blondes parted thighs, gently running it over her vulva.

"Ohhh," Amanda groaned. She'd tried to suppress the sound but between the pain and the pain medications, her inhibitions were shot to hell. Olivia stilled,

"Am I hurting you?" Olivia checked in, frozen in place. Amanda shook her head, not trusting herself to open her mouth. "Okay, almost done." Olivia started to move the cloth again and Amanda whimpered,

"God Liv. You have to stop," Amanda said breathlessly, grabbing Olivia's wrist. Olivia pulled her hand away quickly, stuttering and stumbling over apologies.

"Oh god Amanda, I'm so sorry, I -"

"No, no," Amanda cut her off, "Don't apologize Liv..I should be apologizing," Amanda groaned. "You're just trying to be a good friend, I shouldn't have let you do this. Not with how I feel about you. I'm sorry Liv." Amanda pulled away, sinking back into the water to rinse the soap from her body.

Olivia stood stunned for a moment, before kneeling next to the tub again and turning the water back on to rinse Amanda's hair, her mind in overdrive as she contemplated Amanda's confession - how exactly did Amanda feel about her? Finally fully rinsed, Olivia leaned into the tub and pulled the plug, letting the water start draining as she helped Amanda stand again.

"Let's get you dried off honey," Olivia wrang the extra water from Amanda's hair and guided her to step out onto the bathmat before wrapping her into a fluffy towel. Amanda leaned her head on Olivia's shoulder, her fingers sneaking out from under the towel to grasp the hem of Olivia's now soaked t-shirt. 

"Sorry," Amanda said quietly, "about the shirt and...everything else."

"It's fine Amanda," Olivia promised, drying the other woman's body methodically. She knew they needed to talk, but now wasn't the moment, "Let's just get you ready for bed, okay?" Amanda nodded sadly, letting Olivia guide her back to the bedroom, one arm snugly around her waist as they walked. Olivia sat Amanda on the edge of the bed before rummaging through her own drawers to find something comfortable for the younger woman to wear for the night.

"Liv I have clothes, remember?" Amanda told her, watching with sleepy eyes as the brunette moved about the room.

"I know but I don't want to tear your bag apart. These are right here and they'll be nice and comfy," Olivia explained, moving back in front of Amanda and sliding the towel from her shoulders. Olivia helped Amanda into the worn NYPD t-shirt, too big but soft and comfortable, before kneeling in front of the blonde and helping her into the sweatpants she'd chosen for her. Olivia slid them up Amanda's legs, her thumbs inside the waistband brushing up Amanda's thighs as she pulled them into place, making the blonde whimper. 

"Im sorry Liv," Amanda whispered quietly again.

"No honey, you didn't do anything wrong. Let's get you settled, okay?" Olivia pulled back the covers and guided Amanda under them, tucking her in. "I'll be on the couch if you need anything, okay?"

"Liv, no," Amanda sat up again, closing her eyes against another wave of dizziness. "I can't kick you out of your bed. I'll take the couch," Amanda protested, trying to slide out of the sheets.

"Amanda stop. I'm not letting you sleep on the couch, you're injured, you need rest," Olivia gripped Amanda's shoulders firmly.

"Fine," Amanda gave in, curling onto her side facing away from the older woman. Olivia stroked a hand down Amanda's back one more time before moving around the room again, collecting clothes for herself this time and changing in the bathroom. Just as she reached for the door handle to leave Amanda spoke again in a tiny, sad voice, "Or you could stay here with me?" 

"Amanda..." Olivia started, "I'm not sure that's a great idea."

"I don't bite Liv. And I promise to keep to my side. I'm sorry about earlier and I will feel awful if you have to go sleep on the couch because of me," Amanda knew she was awfully close to begging but she didn't want to be alone. And she did feel bad about kicking the brunette out of her own bed. She rolled over to meet Olivia's eyes again, awaiting her answer. 

"Okay," Olivia agreed, unable to resist the big, sad blue eyes aimed at her. She climbed into the opposite side of the bed and shut off the light. "Good night Amanda."

"Night Liv."

Chapter Text

Olivia blinked awake, the room still in the deep darkness of the middle of the night, and she lay quietly for a moment trying to figure out what had woken her. A moan floated from the other side of the bed where Amanda lay curled in a tiny ball, as though doing her very best to take up as little space as possible even in her sleep. Olivia reached out cautiously and began rubbing the younger woman's back, unsure if she was awake and in pain or asleep and having a nightmare.

"Manda?" she called softly, "What's wrong honey? Are you in pain?" The lack of response from the blonde made Olivia assume that she was caught up in a nightmare. Gently, Olivia eased herself closer, guiding the small, trembling woman into her arms and holding her close. "It's okay honey. You're just dreaming," Olivia spoke quietly, wanting to wake the blonde without startling her and scaring her more. "Wake up Amanda, you're safe."

Amanda woke suddenly, yelling into the darkness, her entire body wracked with shivers as she woke in seemingly a blind panic. Olivia leaned over her and turned on the bedside light, stroking Amanda's back and through her hair, whispering soothing words quietly while she waited for the younger woman to relax.

"I'm sorry Liv," Amanda apologized, moving to pull away as her trembling subsided and her breathing returned to normal. 

“It’s okay, you don’t need to move,” Olivia told her, but Amanda seemed insistent on putting distance between them so Olivia let her go. “Nightmare?”

“Uh, no. Look…I’m just gonna go sleep on the couch,” Amanda replied, yelping when Olivia grabbed her wrist to stop her leaving.

“Not a nightmare?” Olivia clarified, and Amanda shook her head sadly.

”Please let me go Liv,” Amanda whispered, embarrassment flushing her cheeks.

”Amanda…” Olivia tugged gently on Amanda’s wrist to try and get the blonde to face her again. “Good dream?” she asked when Amanda finally gave in and rolled towards her. Amanda refused to meet her eyes but she nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?” Olivia probed, encouraging Amanda to move closer and back into her arms. 

“God no,” Amanda replied, her palms flat on Olivia's shoulders holding them apart, “Seriously Liv, I should go.”

”Amanda. Stop,” Olivia chastised. "I'm not upset. I think we should talk about this."

"Please no," Amanda moaned, ducking her head. Pushing ahead, Olivia asked nervously,

"Are you attracted to me Amanda?"

"I think that's fairly obvious at this point Liv," the blonde snapped back, annoyed at being cornered by the older woman in her weakened state. Amanda sighed, angry with herself for the outburst and at the woman trying to soothe her for pushing, "I'm sorry...Just let me go sleep on the couch...please? I'll ask Fin if I can crash with him tomorrow, okay?" Olivia snorted,

"You going to let Fin help you shower?" she asked, thinly veiled mirth making Amanda that much more upset.

"Leave me alone Olivia," Amanda said bitterly, still struggling weakly to push the brunette away. Olivia took a deep breath, not giving an inch to Amanda's pathetic struggles and asked,

"Would it help if I told you I'm attracted to you too?"

Amanda froze, her eyes snapping up to Olivia's, searching her face to determine if she was being truthful. 

"Liv I...wait, really?" Amanda's voice was small and unsure, her insecurities painted across her face.

"I've been...avoiding it for a while now," Olivia admitted, sighing in relief as she felt Amanda relax. "But yes, Amanda, as much as I've tried to convince myself to forget it, I am very attracted to you."  Amanda watched with a smile as a blush graced Olivia's cheeks and she brought her good arm up to cup the older woman's face.

"Would it be super inappropriate if...Liv can I...can I kiss you?" Amanda asked, grinning stupidly when Olivia nodded. Amanda leaned in slowly, still hardly believing this was real and that the attraction was mutual. Their first kiss was gentle and chaste, but the load of butterflies it unleashed in Amanda's stomach was staggering. Olivia's hands roamed over Amanda's back, sliding up underneath the t-shirt and making the younger woman whimper into the kiss, her mouth falling open to Olivia's probing tongue. Olivia's hand slid around to Amanda's chest, cupping a breast and making Amanda break away from her lips moaning.

"Is this okay?" Olivia asked tentatively, her thumb stroking over Amanda's quickly hardening nipple, and pushing her onto her back.

"Yes. Fuck. Yes," Amanda panted, arching into Olivia's touch, her head falling back and baring her neck to the brunette. Olivia leaned in and licked up the side of Amanda's neck, tasting the salty sweetness of her before nipping gently at the place where Amanda's pulse bounded beneath her skin. Amanda dug her fingers into Olivia's hair, holding her in place, "Fuck, yes Liv."

"Dirty mouth," Olivia growled with a smirk, her hand sliding down the plane of Amanda's stomach, stopping at the tie of the sweatpants. Amanda nodded, her hips rocking up into Olivia's hand.

"Please Liv," Amanda begged. 

"Was I in your dream?" Olivia whispered into Amanda's ear, her fingertips dipping below the waistband of Amanda's pants and stroking the skin just above her pubic mound softly, wanting to know more about the dream she'd woken the blonde from earlier.

"Yesss," Amanda hissed, her hips chasing Olivia's fingers, desperate for more.

"Hmm," Olivia hummed happily, "What was I doing?"

"Jesus Liv, please," Amanda begged.

"Nuh uh, I want to hear more about this dream," Olivia insisted, nuzzling into Amanda's neck and pressing soft kisses down the column of her throat.

"You were - shit. You were sitting at your - fuck - sitting at your desk," Amanda panted. 

"That's it?" Olivia asked when Amanda didn't elaborate further, her fingers stilling in confusion. She'd thought Amanda had been having a sex dream about her - this sounded...banal. 

"Damn it. Yes. But I was under your desk," Amanda groaned, "I was eating you out while you talked on the phone. You were using your sexy captain's voice on someone, giving them shit, and I was trying to make you come." 

"Oh," Olivia breathed, her hand slipping lower inside Amanda's pants to cup her sex tenderly. "That sounds..." Olivia trailed off for a moment, watching as Amanda's eyes fluttered shut and her hips rocked into Olivia's hand, desperately seeking friction. "That sounds fucking hot," she finally finished, swallowing hard. 

"Would you let me?" Amanda asked breathily, biting her lower lip and locking eyes with the brunette. Olivia paused. As a fantasy, it was extremely hot but the reality was...dicey. If they were caught they'd both lose their jobs, and Olivia knew herself well enough to know that she couldn't come quietly. "I'd make you feel so good Liv," Amanda continued as Olivia stayed quiet, her fingers starting to move between Amanda's legs as she listened. Amanda studied the older woman, taking in the lust in her eyes, the slow blinks as she started to circle her clit and she continued talking, "I'd leave the blinds open on your office windows, so not only would you have to be quiet but you couldn't - ohfuck - So you couldn't show it on your face either," Amanda murmured. "Do you think you could do it Liv? Could you keep a straight face while I sucked your clit, when any of the squad could just walk in? Could you keep ripping some idiot a new asshole with my tongue inside your cunt?"

"Jesus Amanda," Olivia moaned, her fingers picking up speed, slipping down to Amanda's entrance and freezing.

"Please Liv, inside," Amanda begged. Olivia slipped her middle and ring fingers into the blonde, gasping as Amanda's muscles clenched down and her hips rocked up. "Fuck. Yes! God you feel so good Liv."

"I need to see you come," Olivia told her desperately, her fingers curling over Amanda's gspot while her palm ground down into her clit. "Come for me 'Manda."

"Harder, please," Amanda begged, her right hand gripping the back of Olivia's neck tightly, pulling her down to a kiss. Olivia adjusted, starting to use her hips to drive her fingers and Amanda broke the kiss and screamed, her body wracked with violent trembling as she spasmed around Olivia's fingers. Olivia slowed her thrusts, pressing wet kisses onto Amanda's neck as she shuddered. Amanda lay limply, feeling drained after the intense orgasm, trying to regain some strength so she could reciprocate.

"You look so hot when you come," Olivia whispered in her ear, slowly withdrawing her fingers. Amanda surged up to kiss her, desperately clawing at Olivia's clothes to try and get her naked. It was difficult with only one fully functional arm but Amanda managed to push Olivia's pants down to her knees. 

"Take those off," Amanda panted, "and sit on my face." Olivia paused, while the thought of sitting on the blonde's face was incredibly arousing, she was also concerned. 

"But 'Manda...you're hurt and I'm...I'm bigger than you," Olivia said, "I don't know if that's a good idea." Amanda rolled her eyes,

"There's nothing to worry about," Amanda insisted, "I want to eat you out and while I'm injured, this is going to be the easiest way." Amanda leaned in and sucked softly at the skin on Olivia's neck, "Please Liv, I want to taste you. I want to make you feel good." Hesitantly Olivia nodded, shimmying the rest of the way out of her pants and positioning herself cautiously above the blonde. 

"Okay?" she checked in and Amanda grabbed her hip with her good arm and yanked her down to her mouth in response. "Fuck!" Olivia held most of her weight on her knees, refusing to lower herself onto Amanda's mouth - too worried about hurting her further. Amanda moaned and tugged insistently on Olivia's hip, wanting the brunette to settle into her mouth. Finally, frustrated with the older woman's caution Amanda turned her head to the side and bit Olivia's thigh, causing her to yelp in surprise. 

"Now that I have your attention," Amanda murmured licking over the bite mark she'd left on Olivia's thigh, "Stop holding back and fuck my face Liv." Olivia moaned and cautiously settled deeper, groaning as Amanda started eating her out in earnest, sucking her clit and fucking her with her tongue.

"Oh fuck," Olivia groaned, her hips starting to rock as Amanda drove her ever closer to climax. "Yes Manda! Please!" Olivia was all but begging as Amanda released her grip on her hip and plunged two fingers inside of her while she sucked her clit into her mouth. Amanda's fingers drove into her relentlessly and with one last hard suck on her clit, Olivia came apart, shuddering, panting and groaning, her body folding in on itself as though overwhelmed with pleasure. With the last bit of her energy, Olivia adjusted herself to lay back down next to the blonde, watching with rapt attention as Amanda sucked her fingers clean and then wiped the back of her hand across her mouth.

"God I can't wait to be healed up enough to fuck you like I mean it," Amanda said, curving her body around Olivia's. 

"I dunno 'Manda, that certainly felt like you meant it," Olivia chuckled. 

"Oh just you wait," Amanda replied, pressing a final soft kiss to Olivia's neck before they both succumbed to the lure of sleep.