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The PR Wars…

Episode 1: The True Enemy is Revealed

Lisa was not having a good day.  No.  Scratch that, she had not been having a good month. 

Sure, the Undersiders had managed a stunning number of successes in the past month: pulling off the bank despite unexpected forces, surviving Bakuda, capturing Lung, stopping Purity’s rampage, and even pulling off a publicity event meant to discredit the Protectorate in the midst of one of their publicity events were all great achievements.  For any aspiring super villain, it would be a resume which they could be proud of.

However, Lisa could freely admit that the number one reason for their success could be attributed to the vicious, ruthless, powerful, gentle, attractive, vulnerable, looking entirely too good in her skintight bodysuit, with legs that never seemed to end and deserved their own monument, and in desperate need of just the right woman to shower her with affection and help her grow into her natural beauty who would afterwards return that affection with wide, passionate eyes as she ran her hands against Lisa’s cheek and leaned into delicately capture Lisa’s breathless lips in a kiss which only heightened the growing fires of their passion as they then proceeded to…!

Lisa mentally reset her train of thoughts, purposefully putting the previous ones aside.  She entirely blamed the whole thing on her powers.  Stupid powers.

She was not blushing as she did so.  Anyone who claimed otherwise was a filthy liar.  Or Alec.  Or both.

Anyway, Lisa could attribute a lot of their success to the inclusion of their new member Skitter, Taylor Hebert, and the versatility and ingenuity with which she used her power in support of their initiatives.

However, like all good things, it seemed like Lisa was destined to not have good things.

“Powers on,” Brian shouted from the main room, dragging Lisa from her downward spiraling thoughts.

“That’s a good step one,” Alec shouted back in a lazy drawl.  “But the important part is step two: do we have TV yet?”

Lisa rolled her eyes at the very Alec question.  Then she perked as she realized something, and hurried out of her room.

“You do know that we’re basically in a post-apocalyptic society right now?” Brian prompted dryly.  “Rubble everywhere, power and water out, driving the itinerant population to ever increasing levels of depravity as they fight for the basics of survival that were once so common but have become precious and rare?  That the very act of having power and running water is enough to either set us up as kings, or cause roving bands of raiders to attempt to kill us and usurp our home?”

“Soon, my dog of war, but it must be on my term,” Alec chimed in gamely.

Rachel’s ears perked, and she turned silently to glare at Alec.

“Not those kinds of dogs,” Alec told her.

Rachel lost interest in the conversation and turned back to her actual dogs.

“Being around you feels like a constant drain on my intelligence.  I assume it’s your power’s fruitless attempts to bolster your own meager intellect by depriving the rest of us of ours,” Lisa told Alec cheerfully.  “Now shut the hell up.  Brian, is the TV up and running?”

“What, you’re not wanting to start gaming too, are you?” Brian asked, a touch confused.

“See, even Lisa knows we need to get some gaming on,” Alec chimed in, completely ignoring Lisa’s very subtle and polite way of trying to get him to shut up.

“Burn slowly in a fire, so I can roast the popcorn I’ll eat watching your demise before you finish expiring,” Lisa advised him, before making the conscious effort to remove him entirely from her attention.  “And no.  According to PHO, SHE’s going to be debuted today.”

“Ah,” Brian grunted, expression turning dour.  “Yeah.  That.”

Alec snorted, and rolled his eyes, and Rachel grunted once, frowning mightily.

Lisa knew she should count the Undersiders lucky in a way: somehow, against all odds, they had all managed to come out of an Endbringer fight alive, though Rachel might argue against that with the loss of some of her dogs.  The fact that they were all breathing, and whole, was a minor miracle in and of itself.

But what came immediately afterwards made that lack of loss feel like a joke.

Skitter’s unmasking, the attack on her Shadow Stalker, and the breaking of the Endbringer’s Truce wasn’t something that anyone could have really expected.  Nor the facts of Armsmaster’s own breaking of the Truce.  Combined with the presence and knowledge of those actions by the Triumvirate was even worse.  With the potential loss of faith and trust, it was a very real chance that future Endbringer fights would be gutted as villains refused to show up. 

With the PRT and the Protectorate basically forced to investigate and make examples, it was only a matter of time before Skitter’s identity would come out, despite the Unspoken Rules, which would only make the situation worse.

It was a disaster, plain and simple.  And of course, beautiful, noble, STUPID Taylor had to go and choose to do something heroic.  Faced with all the mounting potential consequences, she proposed a desperate plan to prevent the public relations nightmare.

Taylor would join the Wards, providing all the evidence they needed to spin the attacks as personal issues which were already being addressed.  Shadow Stalker would be thrown to the wolves, Armsmaster would have a quiet disgrace, and the rest of the mess would be covered up with the public redemption story of a troubled but good-hearted young girl being awoken to the power of good, and friendship and love, etc…

Lisa was of two minds on the whole subject, honestly.  On one hand, it meant that having a daily dose of those incredible legs in her life would no longer be present, and for that Lisa would murder in rage.

On the other hand, now, as a villain, she could potentially kidnap Taylor for indeterminate amounts of time, holding her captive and doing all sorts of naughty, villainous things to her helpless, nubile body…

Lisa surreptitiously wiped some drool away from the thoughts, focusing back on the present. 

“I’m starting a betting pool,” Alec declared, grinning.  “It’s on whatever incredibly stupid and tacky new name and costume they give the dork.  I have five bucks on red with black dots, and she gets the name ‘Lady Bug’.”

“Oh, that is adorable,” Lisa stroked her chin.  “I mean reprehensible.  That’s awful.  Terrible.  You’re a horrible person for even entertaining these thoughts, and you deserve to be cast out in the streets.  Also, I got five on yellow and black, with the name ‘Bumblebee’ or something equally stupid and themed.”

“I know I should feel bad about this, but I’m in too,” Brian grunted, stroking his chin in thought.  “And considering the inverse law of villainous redemption, I’m going with something bright pink, and with the name ‘Rosy Maple’.”

“Inverse law of villainous redemption?” Alec cocked his head to the side in confusion.  Lisa rolled her eyes at the moron.

“The scarier a villain was when they were a villain, the more harmless and stupider looking they have to be when they get flipped,” she told him.  Honestly, Alec was from a villain family.  How did he not know something so basic?

“Black,” Rachel grunted, tossing a handful of bunched up bills in the pot.  “Skitter.”

“Oh, taking the longshot, hmm,” Alec chuckled.  “I don’t think there’s ever been a villain flip without a rebrand before.  Fine, if you pull this off, I’ll pay double.”

“I’m down,” Brian agreed with a snort.

“Considering the sheer impossibility of it,” Lisa began, rolling her eyes at the incredible improbability of the PRT allowing Skitter to remain Skitter.  Then she trailed off, and considered just how many times Skitter had managed to pull off the incredibly improbable.  “You know what, it would be worth it.  I’m down too.

“Now,” she continued imperiously.  “TV.  On.  Do it.”

“Are we even sure she’s getting an announcement?” Brian grumbled, obediently getting the TV on, and grabbing the remote to adjust the channel.

“It was announced on PHO that the PRT was getting a new Ward, and the announcement would be today,” Lisa told him with a shrug.  “And how many other new Wards could they possibly be talking about?”

“Oh, here it is,” Alec nodded at the screen.

The screen itself displayed what looked like a generic podium on a stage.  In the background was a large video screen that was currently projecting the PRT and Protectorate logos.  Standing in the background was Assault, looking slightly bored.  He was the only member of either organization present at the time.

Lisa assumed that it was due to the lack of manpower.  It was no small thing to patrol a city ruined by an Endbringer, and it was probably all hands-on deck until reinforcements arrived. 

Even as the Undersiders settled down to watch the upcoming announcement, Assault perked, straightening and putting a hand to his ear.  Lisa judged that they had tuned in at just the right time as Assault stepped up to the podium.

“Thank you all for gathering today…” the hero began.

Alec immediately began mocking him.

“Boo, hiss, get off the stage,” he catcalled the TV.  “We have a bet to settle!”

“Daddy needs a new pair of shoes,” Brian added, rolling his eyes but getting into the spirit of it.

“I don’t actually care about the money, I just want to be proven right,” Lisa helpfully chimed in.

“Whatever,” Rachel grunted, honestly not giving a shit.

“… and as such, I am proud to present the newest member of the ENE Wards, Apiary!” Assault concluded, the screen behind him changing to spell out the new name for the rebranded villain.

“Yes!” Lisa cheered, “Called it!”

Taylor, Apiary now Lisa guessed, stepped out from behind a curtain, and sure enough, to Lisa’s prediction was now in a cheerful yellow and black ensemble.  As though to add further insult to injury, she even had two bouncy balls on wires coming out of her costume’s mask, mimicking antennas. 

It was awful, and Lisa was seriously torn on how to proceed.  The next time they met, in the field of battle, should she mock the other girl’s misfortune in her new costume, or make sure to lead her off someplace private where Lisa could console her and be a friendly shoulder to cry on?

…At least, that was what Lisa began to consider, before she noticed something odd about Apiary’s new costume.  It was fuzzy, and looked awkwardly thick, and was it moving…?

Just as Lisa realized something was up, she could also see Assault stiffening, and then Taylor’s new costume came apart, showing that rather than being bee themed, it had, in fact, been made OUT of bees.

Bees that lifted off, revealing a familiar and ominous black costume.  The bees themselves flew with intelligent design, settling on the screen behind her, blacking out the name ‘Apiary’, and assembling themselves instead into…

“Hello, people of Brockton Bay, and the rest of our nation.  I am Skitter,” the menacing form behind the podium declared, reaching up and pulling off the bobbling antennas as the bees spelling out her name behind her buzzed loud enough to be picked up by the microphone.  “I’m certain many of you are familiar with me.”

“Oh.  My.  God,” Brian stared, gaping. 

“Did Skitter just heist her own announcement ceremony?” Alec asked, sounding reluctantly impressed.

“I win,” Rachel declared, gathering up the money.

“That beautiful bitch,” Lisa whispered in awe.

Assault remained stiff behind the revealed villain, one hand on his ear as he presumably received instructions on how to proceed.  Skitter continued with clear confidence.

“Though I am relatively new to the scene,” she continued, acting for all the world as though she hadn’t done something so outrageous she was probably going to be imprisoned for it afterwards.  “I feel that my accomplishments so far speak for themselves: battling and disabling numerous villains of various ranks, the performance of various freelance tax collecting, some highly successful public relations appearances, as well as my defense against the Endbringers.  If anyone wishes to know more, by all means, my curriculum vitae will be made available on the PRT website, or can be reviewed from numerous police reports.”

“Freelance tax collection?” Alec repeated, his tone confused.

“Robbing the bank,” Lisa groaned, slapping her forehead. 

 “Did she just offer her CV?  Like this was a job interview?” Brian wondered.

“While I did begin my career with the famously successful startup gang, the Undersiders, I feel I have unfortunately reached a point where our personal and professional goals no longer coincide, and thus have left my former company to pursue an alternative career.  I wish them all the best in the future endeavors, regardless of my personal choice,” Skitter continued professionally.  Behind her, Assault relaxed slightly, apparently NOT having received orders to tackle the villain on the spot.

“Personal and professional goals, huh,” Alec snorted.

“Think we should get her a retirement watch or something?” Brian shook his head in wonder.

Lisa was about to speak up as well, but paused when she noticed the screen behind Skitter go blank for a brief moment, before lighting back up.  The bees that had been covering it dispersed and the screen now clearly read ‘Skitter’.

“I think she just highjacked the projection booth,” Lisa pointed out, honestly impressed at this point.

“So now, it is with great excitement, I can announce that I will indeed be joining the ENE Wards,” Skitter continued, her tone rising as she indicated over her shoulder, “as the PRT’s official first ever ‘Conscripted Villainous Consultant’!”

The screen behind her changed, declaring her new tittle.  Little animated balloons rose up as the screen changed, as well as pieces of virtual confetti.

“Oh god, she has a PowerPoint presentation,” Lisa snorted.  “And she figured out the animation function!”

Behind Skitter, Assault visibly did a double take at the new title.

“That’s right,” Skitter continued cheerfully, or what counted for cheerful for her, “as a Conscripted Villainous Consultant, or CVC for short, I will have the opportunity of contributing to the PRT and the Protectorate in new and exciting ways!”

Skitter removed the microphone from the stand, pacing to stand a little to the side of the big screen and gesturing to it for emphasis.

“I anticipate from my own experience being able to contribute immensely into insight into villainous behavior,” she continued, bullet points echoing her statement starting to appear on the screen.  “Additionally, I will be assisting my fellow Wards in training their intimidation factor, their weapons infighting abilities, and as well as enhancing their off-camera police brutality skills!  Don’t worry, people of Brockton Bay!  By the time I done, I guarantee that our Wards will be the most effective protectors in the program!

“In addition,” she continued confidently.  “As a CVC, there will no doubt be a difference on the level of restrictions on such things as ‘acceptable force’.  I vow, for the people of Brockton Bay, that giant swarms of venomous stinging insects will soon be the symbol of hope and peace that they deserve!”

“This,” Alec declared, nodding as he did so.  “This right here?  This is the thing that I never knew I always wanted, but did, in fact, long for my entire life.  I can die satisfied now.”

Lisa noted Assault now had his hand on his forehead, and from his body language, couldn’t decide if he wanted to laugh or cry.

“’But Skitter,’ you might ask,” Skitter continued pacing across the stage menacingly.  “’How does this actually contribute to the PRT as an organization?’  I’m glad you asked.  Everyone knows that a new position such as the CVC must provide immediate function when the position is created.  Well, I’m happy to announce that using my former villainous insight, I have already managed to identify an active threat which has infiltrated the PRT!”

“Oh god, she’s going to announce Coil!” Lisa hissed, sitting up straight in her chair.  “Did she use the PRT to actually find him!?”

“This fiend has managed to snake his way into the very heart of our noble organization,” Skitter hissed, her bugs humming again to echo her anger.  “From there, he has done his best to undermine and diminish countless heroes and their heroic endeavors!  He and his army of sycophantic minions have at every turn hampered and undercut those who seek to do good in the world.  All the while, the PRT in it’s noble and honest perspective was unable to truly see the harm that was being carried out, right under their noses!  Well, never fear!  I, Skitter, as a CVC am here, and I vow to stop him, to root him out at any cost.”

Assault was actually leaning forward now, apparently waiting to hear about this threat he was unaware of in order to rate its credibility. 

Lisa was leaning forward as well, desperate to hear what Skitter had managed to find out.  She had only been a member for a few days, had she actually already found Coil…!?

“I speak, of course,” Skittered hissed again as the screen changed.  “Of none other but the vile, reprehensible, and nefarious, Glenn Chambers, PRT head of Imaging!”

Lisa felt as though a record had skipped.  She noticed, distantly, as Assault visibly snorted, covering his mouth belatedly as though to conceal the fact.

“For years now,” Skitter continued, directing at the picture of an overweight man wearing an eye jarring Hawaiian shirt and plaid pants, his expression an unflattering smirk, “this man has been undermining heroes through subtle, insidious means, such as limiting their costumes, preventing their use of weaponry, and diverting their time away from assisting the public to focus on pointless PR initiatives!”

Angrily, as though to emphasize her words, Skitter strode to the abandoned podium, picking up the bobble antennas.  She shook it, and they sprang about limply.

“Antennas?” she declared scornfully.  “Really Glenn?  Is that the best you can come up with?”

She tossed them aside, condemnation in every line of her body as she continued.

“This madman has held power for too long!  I, Skitter, as a CVC and member of the PRT and Protectorate, vow that I will not let his heinous reign go unopposed.  Behold, my first counterstrike, and the beginning of his end!”

Dramatically, she gestured at the screen behind her, and it flashed to a new slide.

“I have started a petition to have the PRT ban Hawaiian shirts, and enforce proper business wear!  Soon, Glenn Chambers will be stripped of his garish, eye gouging uniform, and forced into uncomfortable but suitable suits and ties!  With this, his downfall will begin!”

“I was wrong,” Alec declared.  “This.  THIS was the thing I was waiting for all my life.”

Assault was now visibly trying to conceal his laughter in the background.

“I look forward to using my power and influence for the good of the people,” Skitter concluded, resuming her place behind the podium and returning the microphone.  “Now, I will open the floor to a few questions before we conclude for the day.”

“What did I just see?” Brian finally asked, honestly not sure how to react to their former teammate’s declaration.

“Skitter being Skitter,” Rachel shrugged.  She didn’t really see what the issue was.  Skitter was always weird, but she also always knew she was doing.  Rachel figured she would just wait and see how it all turned out.

“I just…” Lisa began, shaking her head as her powers turned.  “I don’t get…”

It was only thanks to her power and laser like focus on the beautiful girl answering questions, that she was able to discern Skitter’s master plan.  Once she did, Lisa’s eyes widened in shock.

“Oh, you beautiful bitch,” she whispered, tears coming to her eyes.  “Theres… There’s just so much beauty in the world, you know?”

***Scene Break***

Deep in his cavernous layer of evil, Coil slowly turned off his TV.

He took a moment to identify how he was feeling, and was a little reluctant to admit that he was a bit disappointed in the situation.

Honestly, he had been manipulating the city, taking it over through his evil ways as he used his powers to slowly gather more and more influence.  He had a giant underground layer with a self-destruct feature.  Hell, he had a giant monster to unleash, and he kidnapped and drugged little girls for his own use.

And yet, somehow, Skitter thought that GLENN CHAMBERS was eviler than he was!?

Thomas Calbert actually felt a little slighted by all this. 

But the worst part…

The worst part was the little bit of niggling doubt the announcement had put in his mind.

What if… what if Skitter was right?  What if she was actually on to something?

What if he had more threats in the PRT than he originally thought?

Biting his lip, Coil turned on his computers, and began researching the new nemesis that Skitter had spurned him for…

***Scene Break***

Chris, also known as Kid Win in his heroic identity, was, unfortunately, no stranger to very awkward meetings. 

For instance, he had been a member of the Wards when Clockblocker had gone off script and announced his new, barely appropriate, name in public during his first appearance.  He had honestly never thought he would have to endure something like that again.

Apparently their new… teammate, Skitter, liked to overachieve.

The conference room was chillingly silent, the only sound being the recording of Skitter’s public appearance in the background.  Director Piggot, sat in chilling silence, her anger so palpable that Chris didn’t need to be an emotional empath like Dean had been in order to sense it.

Almost the entirety of the ENE protectorate, and all of the Wards were present in the conference room.  Chris glanced amongst them, trying to take in reactions.

Armsmaster, beside Piggot, was completely still.  The disgraced former leader resembled a statue, his expression unreadable.  Miss Militia on the other hand had one hand painfully cradling her forehead, her eyes closed as she rubbed away what Chris expected was the beginning of a headache.  Battery slumped in her chair, and Chris was willing to bet she also had a headache.

Assault, on the other hand, looked like he was stilling trying to cover up his laughter.  And was failing.  Miserably. 

On the Wards side, reactions were more mixed.  Missy, Vista, had her arms crossed, and was scowling fiercely.  That didn’t surprise Kid Win, as he was aware of how seriously she took being a hero and this… announcement wasn’t exactly the sort of solemn duty Vista tended to appreciate. 

Dennis, Clockblocker, looked reluctantly impressed, which said a lot considering the fact that he was absolutely terrified of their new teammate. 

The girl of the hour, Taylor, Skitter he supposed, looked completely serene.  She wore most of her costume, though she had unmasked at some point.  Kid Win was almost surprised by just how normal she actually looked, a wide and expressive mouth set under a neat pair of glasses.  He was almost disappointed that someone so capable of devastation and destruction was actually someone who looked so… normal.

Finally, the video came to the end of the announcement and began the question-and-answer portion.  Piggot chose that moment to speak.

“Well,” she began very, very slowly.  “Do you have anything to say for yourself, Skitter?”

She bit out the last word as though it was physically offensive to her. 

“I thought it went very well,” Skitter answered, tone serene.

Kid Win was pretty sure he could hear Piggot’s teeth grinding from across the room.

 In the background, one of the questions from the interview continued.

“Skitter, in previous reports you’ve been called ‘a biological plague the likes of which not seen since the Old Testament’.  How do you feel about that?”

“A great swell of professional pride, as well as the commitment to do better in the future.  I have already started to increase the locust population in my swarm.  Next question?”

“You utterly failed at rebranding,” Piggot grit out.  “Publicly declared your intention to corrupt our Wards.  And publicly identified a PRT official as your arch nemesis, vilifying them and implying villainous intent to their entire branch.”

“Yes, those were my intended points for the speech,” Skitter nodded proudly.  “I was glad I was able to meet them all.  I was a bit worried about my presentation.  I haven’t done much public speaking and was a little nervous.”

If this was what she looked like when she was ‘nervous’, Kid Win was honestly uncertain he wanted to know what she looked like angry.

“Skitter, do you consider it justified to refer to the entire Imaging department as an ‘army of sycophantic minions’?

“Yes, I do.  And I just want to point out that they sent Teacher to the Birdcage for the same thing.  Next question.”

“Stop talking now, Skitter,” Piggot ordered, and Kid Win could SEE a vein on her forehead.  “We’re all going to wait here, in silence, until Chambers arrives so we can determine how to proceed with this… debacle.”

In the silence of the room, Assault began to slowly raise his hand, like a child in class waiting to be called on.

“No,” Piggot snapped at him before he spoke a word.  “No, you cannot rebrand as a CVC, Assault.”

Assault’s hand slowly lowered in disappointment.

“Skitter, who does your costume?  It looks fabulous!”

“Thank you.  I made it myself out of Black Widow silk, insect carapaces, and the crushed hopes of my enemies.  Next question.”

Kid Win had never been so grateful for a door opening as he was right then, as finally, the conference door was slammed open and the man of the hour, corrupter of heroes, Glenn Chambers stormed into the room.

“Skitter, what about the accusations that you are responsible for the decreased crab population noted in the bay?”

“You have no proof, and any further accusations will be met with a ‘no comment’.  Next…”

Piggot reached up, and hit the mute button, silencing the television for the upcoming meeting.

Kid Win watched as Glenn paused after entering the room, his eyes narrowed as the honed in on where Skitter was sitting, her expression blank.  Slowly, he closed the door and began stalking towards the girl.

As though to prepare herself for the upcoming confrontation, Skitter too stood, and faced him square on.

Kid Win had never felt more uncomfortable as he did when the two came to stand, face to face and squaring off like gunslingers of old…

Only to blink in surprise, as Glenn stepped forward and embraced the girl, and proceeded to do that weird European thing where they pretend to kiss each other’s cheeks. 

He felt a great moment of confusion when Skitter returned the gesture.  To Kid Win, it felt like some fundamental rule of the universe had been violated in some incomprehensible way.

“Brilliant, my dear!” Glenn gushed as he separated, and then in front of Chris’ disbelieving gaze, the two began what looked to be an honest-to-god secret handshake involving fist bumps and finger waving.

“Oh, dear god,” he heard Dennis whisper in shocked horror.  “They’re actually friends!?”

Piggot’s eyes clenched in frustration as the two supposed enemies continued their secret handshake for far longer than Chris had thought possible.

“Wait,” Assault cut in, looking up in surprise.  “Wait, was all this actually planned?”  He glanced around, and realized that none of the other Protectorate members looked anywhere near as confused as he was. Battery actually looked a little sheepish, and Assault picked up on it immediately. “This was planned and you all were in on it!?  What the hell, puppy!”

“Apologies for the deception,” Glenn assured the hero as he and Skitter finished up their handshake, and he drew a chair to sit next to the younger girl.  “However, we wanted your reactions to be genuine in the moment, and you were believed to be the best choice!”

“Okay, as long as I was the best for whatever the hell this was,” Assault muttered, crossing his arms and pouting.  “Anyone mind explaining precisely what this all was about?”

“To put it simply,” Glenn began for the benefit of the group, “while we initially thought to try the traditional method for rebranding, we unfortunately came across a small issue.”

“I’m entirely unmarketable,” Skitter declared, just the hint of pride in her smile.  “My powerset is simply too terrifying to put a positive spin on it.  Apparently, I made several focus groups cry.”

“Sounds right,” Clockblocker muttered, shuddering.

“When faced with the untenable situation, I was surprised when dear Taylor here actually came to me with a proposal,” Glenn continued, smiling proudly at the girl.

“What if instead of rebranding my look, we instead rebranded my personality?” Taylor explained. 

“Skitter already had the reputation of ruthlessness, however, Skitter also had very little in the way of recognition regarding her personality,” Glenn elaborated.  “Her public appearances have always had an air of directness, of focus.  Because of that, the perception as being professional and direct has developed, a villain that precludes showboating solely to accomplish her goals.  However, Skitter also had very little in the way of non-fight appearances.  No social media, no public addresses outside of her crimes.

“So instead, what if we made the impression that the reason Skitter was always so intimidating as a villain was simply that she was overly zealous about being a professional villain?” Glenn concluded.

“Oh my god,” Assault shook his head in bemusement.  “And thus, when Skitter decided to become a hero…”

“She completely misunderstood her situation, and instead focused being a heroic villain with ridiculous and humorous results?” Glenn concluded.  “Precisely.”

“And your fine with that, Skitter?” Vista chimed in, looking dubious at the other girl.

“It has other benefits as well, besides just public perception,” Skitter nodded.  “Any use of my swarms can be spun as the over-enthusiastic efforts of a well-meaning but inexperienced young Ward.  Additionally, my goal of ‘educating’ my fellow Wards on villainous ways allows for some minor rebranding that can be attributed to me being ‘helpful’.  For instance, if I’m constantly seen in public handing weapons to the rest of the Wards, like for instance, giving you a stun gun despite what marketing says…”

“You are now my favorite teammate,” Vista instantly declared, her eyes alight with malicious glee at the thought of FINALLY being armed.

“And like that, we lost her,” Clockblocker muttered. 

“Don’t worry, I have ideas for your power too,” Skitter reassured him.  “For instance, have you considered what a good grappling hook with a thick line attached combined with your power might accomplish?”

“That… is honestly actually a bit of a terrifying prospect,” Clockblocker admitted, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.  If he set it up at ankle level, he would have an instant trip line that couldn’t be broken.  Or if he managed to wrap it around someone, it would effectively be giving him ranged options.

“Er,” Kid Win began, looking around the room.  Despite everything starting to make sense, he couldn’t help but wonder at the atmosphere of resignation in the room.  “If this was all planned, why is it that, well, everyone looks like someone kicked a puppy?”

“Because it means that Skitter is going to have to be in a lot of public appearances to support her new image,” Battery sighed.  “And she’s going to have to make them all as ridiculous as this…”

“I believe I’m starting to come around to having you on the team after all, Skitter,” Clockblocker declared solemnly, and Kid Win rolled his eyes.  Of course, Clockblocker would be on board for what was effectively leave to troll every PR event they put on going forward.

“So, I guess I didn’t screw up by letting you finish your introduction,” Assault grinned slightly.  “But I got to ask, why the whole calling out Chambers thing?”

“Three reasons,” Glenn held up his hand, raising three fingers and then lowering one.  “First: engineered controversy.”

“My ‘so called’ feud with Imaging will provide the population will provide people an outlet for either supporting or condemning me separate from my former status as a villain,” Skitter explained, and Kid Win swore for a second he thought he saw her glasses flash like they did in those old anime he’d seen in the past.  “Plenty of people, civilian and hero, have reasons to dislike Imaging.  Just as many support Imaging.  Now that they can identify me as a focal point for the conflict, they can support me or dislike me entirely in that context, and not whether or not they approve of my past actions.”

“Second: public engagement,” Glenn continued.

“By making my petition online and announcing it publicly, people are able to participate or not, and actively engage and connect with me,” Skitter continued.  “While some people will no-doubt take it far too seriously, most are going to think of this as ridiculous and decide that participating is a lighthearted way to have some fun.”

“I’ve already seen a second petition being opened, one that only seeks to ban Hawaiian shirts so long as they don’t have pink flamingos on them,” Glenn reported gleefully.  “Also, I’ve made a counter-announcement where I declared that Skitter would never be able to stop me, and released some of the more ridiculous costume designs we had for her.”

“I’ll be sure to respond appropriately,” Taylor told him.  “Maybe something about how you’ll never bend me to your will, and urge the people to resist your insidious plot and boycott the pictures?”

“Excellent,” Glenn nodded in approval.  “It will increase the circulation of them immensely.”

“Definitely coming around to you being in the team,” Clockblocker admitted starting to grin.  “Should I post something about how I like the pictures and support our villainous mastermind in the PR department?”

“Only if Vista denounces them, and calls for my overthrow,” Glenn told him.

“I can do that,” Vista announced solemnly, glaring at the memory of some of her encounters with the PR team.  “Oh, yes, I can do that.”

“I’m not getting involved with this,” Kid Win decided, leaning back in his chair to separate himself from the incipient insanity he could already envision.

Miss Militia groaned at the upcoming flame war her Wards were planning.  She remembered when the Wards were respectable, serious, and dutiful…

Then she remembered Mouse Protector, and realized nothing ever changes.

“Okay, sounds like things are going to be heating up around here,” Assault was grinning now as well.  He turned to Glenn, still curious about one last thing.  “What was the third reason?”

In response, both Glenn and Skitter turned to look at Piggot, who still had her eyes closed and her teeth grit.

“I just want it on the record that I hate the fact that this actually worked,” she managed to ground out.

“Since Skitter’s announcement video, Chambers internal file has been accessed multiple times from various personnel and accounts who shouldn’t have the appropriate access for them,” Armsmaster spoke up obediently, a touch of curiosity in his voice.  “We had several observation programs on them, hidden, and we’re using the unauthorized access to identify several PRT personnel who we believe are Coil’s agents in the PRT.  So far, the highest level of unauthorized access belongs to one ‘Thomas Calvert’, who accessed the information from the physical location we have identified as Coil’s base, making him the prime suspect for Coil’s actual secret identity…”

“You mean the whole thing was a sting!?” Assault gaped in genuine shock.  Battery sighed, also apparently unable to believe that they were able to actually bait out Coil’s power by snubbing him as Skitter’s arch-nemesis.  “And it actually worked!?”

“She did tell you it would work,” Glenn pointed out, grinning.  “It seems there might actually be something to this ‘villainous insight’ after all, right?”

“A strike team is being mounted as we speak,” Armsmaster confirmed.

“Excellent,” Skitter’s smile was positively malicious.

Kid Win decided then and there that this did not bode well for the future of villains in the city.

Chapter Text

The PR Wars…

Episode 2: The question all young girls ask themselves…

“Hurry up the popcorn,” Alec called from where he laid on the couch, scratching himself as he sprawled on the cushions. 

“Just finishing up,” Lisa announced, holding a full bowl of hot buttered popcorn as she entered the room.

“Finally,” Alec moaned, reaching out and grasping at the air in the direction of the popcorn.  “Gimme.”

“Fuck you, this is my corn,” Lisa told him cheerfully, and made extra sure to savor the hot buttery goodness that she held out of reach from her teammate.  “Go make your own.”

Alec groaned, and slumped deeper into the couch.

“Drats,” he declared.  “Defeated by my own laziness.  Who could ever see that coming?”

“Literally anyone!” Aisha declared, appearing in their collective consciousness just as she flopped down, plunking herself down to sit with force on Alec’s stomach.

“Oof!” he grunted, before blinking and taking in the bowl of popcorn their youngest teammate had clutched in her arms.  “Ah, popcorn.  All is forgiven… Wait, who was I talking to?  And why does it feel like someone’s sitting on me?”

Brian rolled his eyes as his lazy teammate muttered about having been about to do something and how he felt strangely heavy. 

“So, why are we doing this again?” the most responsible one in the room asked, though he honestly knew the answer already.

“Even if Taylor has left us for brighter pastures, it is still are responsibility as her former teammates to support her heroic career,” Lisa grinned as she recited by rote her excuses.

“We’re criminals,” Rachel pointed out.

“Exactly, and every second we’re in here watching her television appearances, we’re not out there committing crime,” Lisa countered.  “So, honestly we’re just helping her do her job.”

“Also, she’s freaking hilarious these days,” Alec added, still squirming on the couch that he now felt he couldn’t leave for some reason other than pure laziness.

“Both very good points,” Brian admitted, reaching over and taking a handful of popcorn from Lisa’s bowl, which she graciously allowed.

If Lisa were to describe life in Brockton Bay right now, she would be honestly surprised to have to sum it up as ‘not absolutely sucking’.  That was a ringing endorsement for what life was usually like in the Bay.

Ever since the PRT had launched its surprise raid and caught Coil, things had been looking up for the Thinker.  Not only was she no longer being forced to work at the point of a gun and under the threat of being confined in some bizarre drugged up sex basement, but she had been able to break into several of Coil’s accounts during the cleanup, and thus the Undersiders were now fully funded for a good long while.

Add onto the fact that the Protectorate had not only managed to calm that bizarre monster girl they had found there, but after having managed to cure her through what Lisa could only believe to be some form of bizarre Tinker Witchcraft they had also managed to remove the Travelers from the city as well.  With the E88 broken into smaller gangs after the death of Kaiser, and with the ABB gone with the loss of Lung, the Bay had an influx of several smaller gangs. 

Now, rather than the city broken up in a three-way split between the racists, the sex traffickers, and the druggies, the city was instead a collection of patchwork, territories split over a greater number of much smaller gangs which only occasionally interacted with each other with violence.  The Undersiders themselves were one such gang, holding a respectable portion of the Docks.  Lisa had made sure to invest a good portion of their post-Coil funds into acquiring real estate on the Boardwalk which brought in both a legal and steady stream of income which they also used to launder their less legal and less steady income from their heists. 

Honestly, at this point, they only actually needed to do heists for fun.  Which they did.  Because crime was fun and they were awesome at it.

For Lisa and the rest of the Undersiders, hell, even for the city itself, things were going well.  Reconstruction had flourished, violent crime was down, and life was returning to the city.

And with the reduced crime, it meant that there was time for more and more publicity efforts by the PRT and the Protectorate.  Which meant more screen time for the Wards.

Which meant more screen time for Skitter, and the Undersiders could never resist her appearances.  Actually, there were a lot of people that couldn’t resist her appearances, hence why she had so many appearances.

“Here’s our girl!” Alec cheered from the couch where he had abandoned even the pretext of attempting to get off the cushions and had flopped fully.

Lisa shushed him as show resumed.

“And here we are on Brockton Tonight with a very special set of guests, the ENE’s very own heroic Wards and their… equally heroic CVC, Skitter!” the announcer of the late night talk show began, the camera panning over the guests for the night.

“And she even gets her very own introduction these days,” Brian snorts.

“Skitter DESERVES her very own introduction, I’ll have you know,” Lisa corrected him with an indignant snort.

The cameraman seemed to agree as the camera briefly panned over the gathered Wards and paused noticeably when it came to Skitter.  The rest of the Wards interacted briefly: Clockblocker waving, Kid Win just raising a hand, and Vista giving an obviously practiced lift of her hand in acknowledgment of the attention.  The newest member, a gleaming figure of metal called Weld who had transferred in from Boston recently gave an equally practiced smile of gleaming teeth for the camera.

Skitter, sitting properly with her legs primly crossed and her hands resting on top of her knees gave the regal nod of a queen addressing her minions. 

“It’s good to be here tonight, Tom,” Weld as the leader of the Wards responded.  He was handsome despite his metallic appearance, the kind of charisma that Lisa automatically hated. 

“Tool,” she sniffed at him as Weld and the host exchanged some pleasantries. 

“Absolute tool,” Alec agreed.

“Looks hot,” Rachel countered.  “I’d fuck him.”

That drew a brief look from the rest of the room.

“So, it’s been a little over a month and a half since the most… interesting debut of a member of a Wards team occurred,” Tom the announcer continued, and Lisa immediately shushed the room despite no one actually talking.  “I think we’re all wondering: how’s life as PRT’s only Conscripted Villainous Consultant, Skitter?”

“Oh, it’s been simply wonderful working with this team,” Skitter declared promptly, her tone dripping with professionalism.  “It’s always a challenge when one changes a work environment.  There’s such a difference between smaller independent work culture and the work culture of larger institutions like the PRT.  The team has been amazing at helping me adjust to the differences.”

“We do have a rather independent work culture,” Brian agreed.

“Could you see that those deliverables are on my desk by next week?” Alec added in smarmy voice, imitating middle management in a way only those with a conceptual working knowledge of precisely what middle management actually did.

“And by deliverables, I do mean the broken body of your enemies!” Aisha chimed back in, and Alec grumped as he realized she was still sitting on him.  “God, is anyone else here imaging Skitter with, like, a blouse and a pencil skirt over her uniform right now?”

“Well, I am now,” Lisa hummed, licking her lips at the thought.

“Someone call the HR department,” Alec huffed.  “I suspect we have some upcoming sexual harassment.”

“Aisha, smash him with your butt harder,” Lisa told the other girl.

“Aye, aye, boss!” Aisha chirped with a sloppy salute, following orders like a pro.

“Smashing… me… with your butt… isn’t actually punishment,” Alec ground out.

“What was…I just about to say?” Brian asked, wondering why he felt the need to punch Alec.  He was just laying there, groaning about a stomach ache or something.  Normally that wasn’t enough to make the bigger boy want to punch him…

“Work culture of larger institutions?” Tom prompted, sounding slightly confused at Skitter’s answer.

“Indeed.  All sorts of things,” Skitter began to list out.  “For instance, making sure your lunch is labeled in the office refrigerator, restocking the paper in the printer if you run it out, using that paper to fill out the forms required for laying your enemies low and crushing them beneath your heel… There’s just so much to absorb that I would be lost without my teammates help.”

“Crushing your enemies under your heel?” Tom repeated, giving a glance at the rest of the Wards in confusion.

“That would be the form B-27-D,” Clockblocker chimed in helpfully.

“And the form C-42-DF3,” Vista added helpfully.  Kid Win gave her an odd look.

“Isn’t that used when processing orbital damage to large structures?” he asked.

“Yes,” Vista admitted, and then didn’t elaborate.

“I see,” Tom did not seem reassured.  He seemed to physically bring his attention back in, before again focusing on Skitter.  “Perhaps now is a good time to bring up some of the concerns that have appeared occasionally.  There’s been some talk in various social media voicing concerns about how your prior… career might be influencing some of your peers.”

“Yes!” Skitter affirmed quite happily.  “I’m pleased that my experiences have been useful in increasing the Ward effectiveness!  It’s always nice to know that you bring something unique to the team!”

“Not all of the voices have been happy with the change,” Tom pointed out.

“No doubt the naysaying of disenfranchised ex-employees,” Skitter sniffed, recrossing her legs.  Lisa resolved in the future to record all future appearances so if the leg recrossing happened again, she could watch it in slow motion later.  “You know the type.  Those let go for displaying inappropriate work ethics, malingering, daring to oppose me: really, obvious things that anyone with proper sense would know better then.”

“Even those criticizing you for rather unconventional approach to heroics?” Tom countered.

“But completely conventional for Villany!” Skitter nearly chirped her response back.  “These are changing times, Tom.  Paradigms shift, after all.  It’s important to stay abreast changing priorities or risk being left behind.”

“I don’t think that quite reaches the nature of some of these complaints,” Tom bulled on, and in Lisa’s eyes narrowed at his tone.  “Reports of brutality, of injury, and traumatization are starting to surface after all.  In fact, it seems you in particular, Skitter have achieved an unparalleled level of fame.  I understand that your new nickname on social media is ‘The Horror Hero.’”

“That’s it,” Lisa declared.  “I don’t like his tone.  Brian, I’m planning the next heist.”

“Make sure we have some way of getting profit out of it, rather than just being straight revenge,” Brian answered back.

“Sounds fun,” Alec groaned.  Why was his stomach feeling so squished, yet strangely warm and relaxed?

“He’s an asshole.  Let’s fuck him up,” Rachel agreed.

“A title I’ve heard, and proudly embrace,” Skitter responded with enthusiasm.  “Being considered a Horror Hero is something I take pride in.  It’s like being regarded as a Joke Villain, only, you know, being that exact opposite in that I am effective and people respect me.  So, like a reverse of Uber and Leet.”

“Oh, zing,” Lisa snorted.  She noted that several of the Wards on screen had to suppress the same reaction.

“Wouldn’t the very idea of being regarded as a ‘Horror Hero’ in fact negate the very premise of being a hero at all?!” Tom demanded, his composure cracking as his repeated jabs were disregarded. 

Lisa knew it.  This Tom fellow obviously had an agenda, and was seeking to try and attack this city’s proud CVC.  Well.  She knew how she would respond to that.

The Heist she was planning just got upgraded to a capital Heist, rather than just a normal heist.

“Oh, Tom,” Skitter sighed, reaching out to gently pat the man’s fisted hands.  “I can see why this must be confusing to you.  After all, you’re a man, and there are some things about women that men just don’t understand.”

“Er, what?” Tom blinked, apparently completely unsure about just where this segue came from.

“You see, Tom, there comes a time in every young woman’s life where we all ask ourselves one simple question,” Skitter continued.  “That question being, ‘Am I Terrifying Enough?’”

“It’s true,” Vista agreed instantly, nodding sagely.  “It’s something I ask myself all the time.  ‘Am I scary enough yet?’  ‘Can I intimidate my foes into surrendering by sheer weight of reputation?’  ‘Can I make this idiot boy who’s bothering me cower if I need to?’  It’s quite common in young women.”

“Pro-tip, yes, she can,” Clockblocker added helpfully.

“Wait,” Brian interrupted, glancing across the room.  “Is that actually a thing…?”

“Yes,” Lisa told him immediately, grinning with sharp teeth as she did so.  “I don’t ask myself anymore though.  I KNOW I am.”

“It totally is, bro!” Aisha chimed in.

Lisa paused, getting the feeling that someone had just spoken but not remembering who it was.

“I admit,” Skitter continued sadly.  “There was a point where I struggled with that question.  ‘Am I really terrifying enough?’  ‘Is there more I can be doing to destroy the will of my enemies?’  ‘Could I be better crushing the soul of my opposition?’  It’s a terrible thing for girls my age.  If there are any watchers out there also dealing with their self-image like I did, I understand your struggles.  I just want to say, I believe in you!  You can do it!  Don’t get discouraged, and you WILL be able to properly ruin the lives of your enemies!”

“Ahhh,” Lisa sniffed, oddly touched by Skitter’s earnest encouragement.  No doubt, for a generation of women, Skitter would one day be the hero they deserved.

“I honestly think this is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen,” Alec admitted, though despite his strange stomach pains he also thought this was hilarious. 

“It’s hard work, but if you persevere, I believe in all of you one day being the terrifying forces of nature that lay within you!” Skitter continued.

“Here, here,” Weld chimed in.  He was giving Skitter what was possibly the dryest look to have ever graced a face, but he still clapped lightly at his teammate’s encouragement.

“Such an inspiration,” Vista admitted, lightly wiping her eyes as they misted.

“Er…” Tom began, and was immediately spoken over as Skitter continued.

“Don’t worry about trying to force it,” Skitter continued knowingly.  “Many of my most terrifying traits were things that just came to me naturally as I tried to focus on overcoming the day-to-day trials of life.”

“Day-to-day life?” Tom repeated hollowly, giving Skitter a hopelessly lost look.

“Ah, she broke him already,” Lisa pouted.  “I was going to do that.

“Don’t worry,” Brian rolled his eyes.  “He still has money, so we can make sure he gets broker.”

“Ah, I see what you did there,” Alec cheered for his leader. 

“For instance, my uniform,” Skitter continued, standing and striking a pose, twirling to show off her iconic black suite, armor, shawl, and skirt.  They were tattered, and those stains were probably blood, and she radiated malice.  Lisa had to fan herself briefly.

“When I first started my career, I had next to nothing in the way of resources,” Skitter continued, and several of the Wards winced, or gave knowing nods of agreements.  Fresh villains and heroes alike were all united by the shame of their first uniforms.  “I had to hunker in my basement, learning how to use my spiders, making mistakes that are just painful in retrospect.  Heck, it’s almost embarrassing, but the whole reason that my suit was black in the first place was that it was the only color that I could buy in enough bulk that I could treat my whole suit.

“But now, look at it!  I stride into battle shrouded in darkness, protected by the thread of Black Widows, impervious to knives and bullets as I render my foes helpless!”

“And everywhere, edgelords watching this clutch their pants as they tighten, desperate in envy that they’ll never be able to say anything half as edgy and be taken seriously,” Alec chimed in.

“And its always important to remember, becoming terrifying is always about the next step,” Skitter continued.  “Once my uniform was done, I realized how useful it was when I gathered my swarm.  Not only does my swarm blacken the sky, but it also provides me safety as well!  Everyone knows that in combat ‘cover and concealment are king’.  Being able to safely evade enemy attacks is paramount for a prolonged career.”

“It’s true,” Weld nodded serenely.  “Not everyone is as lucky as Skitter as to always be able to blind the eyes of their foes at will.”

“Like your one to talk,” Kid Win chimed in with a laugh.   “You practically count as cover and concealment yourself, Weld.”

“It’s true,” Vista admitted.  “You make an excellent bullet shield in a pinch.”

“Weld is rather more bullet proof than me,” Skitter agreed, giving a respectful nod to her team leader, who returned it magnanimously.  “Which is why mobility and misdirection were the next pieces to be added to my toolbox!  By moving in my swarm while concealed from sight, and creating copies of myself from it, I can appear as though I’m transferring without moving amongst an unlimited number of bodies, an overwhelming and unknowable foe!”

“That’s… that’s wonderful,” Tom responded, visibly shuddering.

“And it gets worse, Tom,” Skitter helpfully advised him.  Lisa could only watch, awestruck, as her former teammate continued to traumatize the talk show host.  “Next, let’s talk about cultivating the appearance of omniscience and how it can be used to break the will of your targets!

“Yes… lets…”

“Not only are my bugs a legion of mobile sentient attack drones, but I can also utilize them as spy drones as well!” Skitter continued.  “I can identify and locate every single bug in my radius, manipulating them all independently, sensing through them as a panoptic fortress of intel!  Just by having my bugs on them, I can tell just where any attacker is, just how they’re about to move, and render them impotent without even having to glance at them.  Every room, no matter how empty you think it is, I could be there.  Waiting.  Watching.  Plotting.”

“It’s true,” Clockblocker chimed in helpfully.  “Viewers out there, she could actually be watching you right now.”

“Should you really be… so open about your abilities?” Tom gulped, eyes shifting in ever growing paranoia.  “I mean… what if another… not-conscripted villain is watching?  Won’t they know what you can do and plan around it?”

“Oh Tom,” Skitter laughed as though he had just told a polite joke.  “There is no planning around me.  All you can do is wait, cowering, and hope that today you aren’t my target!”

“God, I love this girl,” Lisa admitted out loud, unable to suppress a blush. 

“Duh,” Rachel rolled her eyes.

“You really aren’t subtle about it,” Brian told her.

“Gaaaaaaaay,” Alec droned out, and then gasped.  It really felt like something heavy had just lifted off his stomach and then dropped down with great force right then…

“But this is a good time to switch topics,” Skitter continued, turning to address the camera as her tone took on a lecturing tone.  “Remember, no matter how terrifying you become, and I do believe you can become terrifying, to always use your terror in a responsible manner.  For instance, my bees.”

On cue, a large number of insects began to crawl directly out of Skitter’s armor, arraigning themselves across her.  One particularly large centipede crawled deliberately across her eye lens, disappearing into the armor immediately afterwards.  The small swarm settled, with a selection of bees and wasps remaining on her arm as she held the limb out for display purposes.

“Did you know what percentage of the population is allergic to bees?” Skitter continued.  “For up to three percent of adults, my sting could actually result in slow, painful death.  If I hadn’t taken steps to prevent my bees from injecting their venom, why, I might have accidentally killed hundreds by now!”

“Implying that she has actually stung thousands,” Brian pointed out. 

“I believe it,” Alec admitted.

“In order to prevent that, I use this,” Skitter declared, pulling a small container that she popped open, displaying a bright red powder to the camera, which dutifully zoomed in.  “This is capsaicin, the chemical responsible for the burning sensation in hot peppers.  In its pure form, it is potent and painful irritant, and is the main ingredient in, you guessed it, pepper spray!”

“Oh god,” Tom whimpered.  Lisa savored his broken appearance.  He had brought it on himself.

“By coating the stingers of my bees, or even the bodies of any of my other bugs,” Skitter went on, several varieties of insects appearing and dutifully coating themselves in the red powder, “I can then safely and with pinpoint accuracy deliver it to my targets, coating their eyes, their nose, their mouth, or stinging just about any part of them for surgical delivery of debilitating pain!  It’s far, far safer than traditional methods like the spray or tear gas for immobilizing my victi… I mean immobilizing villainy!”

“Wait, was that whole ‘victim’ thing she just glossed over planned, or accidental?” Brian wondered.

“Planned,” Lisa advised him.  “Though it was done well enough you’d have to be a Thinker to catch it.”

“And just like that,” Skitter concluded, hands on her hips as she took a seat proudly.  “To all you young ladies out there, just focus on your next step, on always seeking to improve, and you too can some day end up like this!”

There was a pause, and then the camera shook briefly, and the screen was replaced with a clip from what looked to be a security camera.  On it was Skitter climbing in to the room via a window, swarm billowing around her.  A large group of men were shouting, though there was no audio.  Some of them began dropping, while others attacked.  Without even looking, Skitter evaded, simply twitching to the side sharply with almost unnatural ease.  The swarm thickened, and when it thinned, as though through eldritch magic Skitter was in another place, no sign of how or when she moved.  Around her, all of the attackers were now on the ground, screaming and rolling in place in agony.  Skitter twitched again, and suddenly was looking at the camera, her lenses gleaming in the light as she stared into the lens as though she was looking right at the viewer.  Around her, every bug in the room aligned at the same time and with the same focus with unnatural precision before the video ended.

“I just,” Lisa sniffed, tearing up.  “I just love that girl, so, so much.”

“Girl Power!” Aisha chimed happily; arms raised in victory as she continued to bounce on Alec’s stomach.

“Did someone say something just now…?” Brian asked, feeling confused for some reason.  Had someone just spoken up after Lisa’s moment?

“Dunno,” Rachel shrugged.

The screen had reverted back to the studio, and the rest of the Wards were giving polite golf claps for Skitter, who preened in her chair.

Tom, on the other hand, looked pale, and as though he was about to be sick.

“That was horrifying!” he finally snapped, slapping his hands against the desk in an ineffectual attempt at intimidating.  “Words… words fail me at that terrifying, inexcusable, and just plain creepy display of violence!  How dare you call yourself a hero!”

Skitter, sitting in her chair, gasped so dramatically that Lisa was certain she had practiced it extensively.  In a sudden blaze of insight, Lisa also realized that somehow, for some reason, THIS was the exact moment that Skitter had been trying to set up, and that her end game was about to commence.

Lisa leaned forward eagerly to watch this masterpiece of a performance come together.

“Tom,” Skitter actually scolded leaning forward and shaking a finger at the host.  “I can’t believe you would engage in such irresponsible journalism!  I’m shocked!”

“Irresponsible…!?” Tom strangled out, and Skitter immediately interrupted him.

“Do you know just how many phobias there are out there that focus around bugs?” she demanded before starting to count them off on her fingers.  “Katsaridaphobia, arachnophobia, myrmecophobia, pteronarcophobia; those are just a few of the most common.  In fact, if you combine them all, it comes out to nearly twenty five percent of the population has a fear of some part of my swarm!”

Skitter sniffed dramatically, wiping a finger across a lens of her mask as though to catch a tear.

“Do you have any idea the level of ostracization that forces on person?  To know that no matter what you do, people will flinch from you, that just by existing you are a source of existential terror to a quarter of the everyone you might meet?  And that you hadn’t even earned it yet!”

Skitter shook her head sadly.  In commiseration, Weld reached out and rubbed her shoulder, shooting a disapproving look at Tom, whose mouth was now gaping like a fish as he was lectured.

“And don’t even get me started on the discrimination!” Skitter continued, giving Weld’s hand a thankful pat.  “Do you know how many times people have told me I have a villainous power?  ‘Oh Skitter, everyone knows only villains would use bugs.’  ‘But Skitter, your power is so creepy that the only way you could possibly use it would be evil’?  Or even ‘Ahhhhhh!  Run, it’s the scary bug girl!’”

“The last one is actually pretty justified,” Brian noted.

“And just how many others out there have had to suffer from the type of bigotry that you’re just so casually espousing, right here on public television?” Skitter demanded, stomping her foot angrily.  “How many people with perfectly functional powers who feel shame, or think that they have to hide themselves, or even think that there’s no possible use for the powers other than to turn to villainy, all because they have a power that just maybe might be a bit unusual, or a little unnerving?  How many lives have been ruined by this casual intolerance that you just displayed so openly?”

Tom at this point was making choking noises as Skitter continued to lay into him.  It was music to Lisa’s ears.

“And what about those who might have a non-standard appearance due to their powers?” Skittered continued, glaring at Tom.  “I suppose you’d say something like how they should be ashamed of themselves, or that they should stay out of sight?  What’s next Tom?  You going to say that those poor souls should be in a zoo or something?  Weld is right here in the room, and you go so far as spit on him?    You sicken me.”

Weld shook his head in condemnation, closing his eyes as he suffered nobly the discrimination being shown him by Tom. 

“Well, I’m not going to stand for it anymore,” Skitter announced as she launched to her feet.  “You know what?  I’m creepy!  So what?  That’s nothing to be ashamed of!  Just because I cause evil to soil itself isn’t any reason that I have to be evil myself!  To all those out there who have found yourselves in the exact same situation, to all those who worry that maybe their power isn’t heroic enough, hear me!  You too can use your powers for good, no matter what others might say!  Prove everyone that ever told you that you had to be a villain wrong and become a hero!  Join me, as I launch my new movement!”

Skitter stopped, and dramatically pulled a black cloth from behind her, a cloth that was swiftly revealed to be a large hoody that she quickly pulled on before leaning back and displaying the logo.

“Creepy for Justice!” Skitter declared proudly.

“Oh, god, that I have lived long enough to see this I give you thanks,” Alec whispered in quiet awe.

“Wait, you don’t believe in god,” Brian pointed out, though he was laughing as he did so.

“Then why did I just have a religious experience?” Alec countered.

Plastered across the front of the shirt were the words ‘Creepy…’, below that were copies of Skitters iconic lens, and below that were the words ‘…for Justice!’

It was campy, and ridiculous, and Lisa swore that she must have one for herself.

Tom was visibly having trouble finding anything to say, as he gaped at the clearly pre-prepared garment.  The camera pulled back, and it revealed that every one of the Wards, in a show of solidarity, was now also wearing a prepared garment with the logo on it.  Clockblocker was wearing a beater over his uniform, Kid Win had put a magnetic decal on his armor’s chest, Vista was wearing a dainty spaghetti strap top, and even Weld, for the first time in any public experience, was wearing a regular t-shirt.

“Huh.  Looks comfortable,” Rachel noted.

“Everyone, show your support for those disfranchised by the system, by going to the PRT website where branded apparel is now being made available.  All proceed go to the ‘Case 53 Naturalization Fund’, an organization dedicated to helping Case 53s get the assistance they need such as training, schooling, and whatever else they might need to help adapt to their own unique circumstances!” Skitter declared, waving her arm to the side in triumph, indicating the variety of products already available.  “We’ll be having a quick commercial break while I have a pointed discussion with Tom here about the appropriate sensitivity training he’s going to be taking, if he knows what’s good for him!”

The camera paused for a moment, apparently trying to decide if Skitter high jacking the broadcast in such an obvious fashion meant she had to be obeyed, before the camera jolted, and a commercial started to play.

“We’re all buying one, aren’t we?” Brian asked the others, though he suspected it was a forgone conclusion at this point.

“Already on it!” Aisha declared, scrolling through Lisa’s stolen laptop.  She perked up.  “Oh, sick!  They have branded panties too!”

***Scene Break***

“Hello, my apprentice.”

“Hah, don’t do that, Glenn.  You just can’t pull it off.”

Glenn smiled briefly as Taylor laughed over the phone at his bad Emperor Palpatine impression. 

“I take it you’ve already seen then?” Taylor continued, and Glenn nodded as he responded.

“I’m rewatching it right now,” he admitted, looking over at the paused screen.  “My department is already releasing sound bites, and the final scene, with all the Wards in apparel, is planned to be used for the PRT sites landing page for the next week.”

“I did think it was a nice touch,” Taylor admitted.  “Weld was enthusiastic about the effort for other Case 53s.  Vista was just as excited for the chance to appear intimidating in her role.”

It went without saying that Clockblocker went along just because he thought it was funny, and Kid Win went along just because he had nothing better to do.

“I have to say,” Glenn continued, leaning back in his chair.  “It was a masterful bit of misdirection.  I doubt many will ever fully understand your plan, but it’s harder to pull the wool over my eyes then most.  I’ve been doing this for longer than you’ve been alive, after all, my dear girl.”

“Oh?” Taylor hummed playfully.  “So just what was I planning on, great and old and wise and old mentor?”

“No need for the old twice,” Glenn chuckled.  “You’re a smart girl.  You knew that there was a negative media campaign being run against you.  All those points about how you were too brutal and how you needed to be curbed.”

“They were getting quite vocal,” Taylor allowed.

“And now you’ve pulled the rug right out from under them,” Glenn complimented her.  “By deliberately satirizing the brutality with your ‘Am I Terrifying Enough’ question, and moreover linking it to an aspect of feminine empowerment, you correlated ‘terror’ to ‘strength’ in a fashion which idealized it as a female virtue.  By then focusing it as a matter of self-esteem and admitting your own struggles, you made yourself a sympathetic icon, an example of strength through overcoming your issues.  I wouldn’t be surprised if your poster starts adorning the room of every young girl who feels themselves beleaguered in their own lives.”

“And I wish them all well on overcoming their struggles, and will continue to do so quite vocally on my social media and appearances,” Taylor acknowledged.  “And I won’t be doing it just for publicity, but because I genuinely hope that they can do it.”

“Which is why people will believe you, rather than just brush it off as a publicity stunt: you are earnest, my dear,” Glenn complimented her.

“Well, it certainly seems you’ve seen through my master plan.  As to be expected of the Guru,” Taylor teased.

“Oh, don’t think I didn’t notice the rest, my dear,” Glenn corrected with a chuckle.  “I commend you for the adroit use of cognitive dissonance you did as well.”

“Oh?  Whatever do you mean?” Taylor asked, and even if he’s only known the girl for two months, she couldn’t fool Glenn with that innocent tone.

“It was your explanation of your abilities.  Each one, explained carefully in a logical fashion.  Each one, just the next obvious step, linked to the one before.  And any demand to try and change, well, it just seems petulant, something done to endanger you for no acceptable reason,” Glenn had to say it was particularly well done.  “Change the color of your suit?  It impacts your ability to hide in your swarm.  Stop using your swarm?  Why, that would open you to more attacks!  No more using your capsaicin?  Why, good sir, it’s already used in normal crowd control, and is in fact LESS dangerous than normal stinging.

“And then, the highlight,” Glenn grinned, rewinding the video he was watching to the point where the security footage was, letting it play muted.  “The dissonance between the understanding of each aspect, combined with the actual appearance of your explained techniques is strong.  What before would have been a scene of unnecessary brutality, cruelty for the sake of cruelty, suddenly becomes the conclusion of a number of understandable defensive and offensive techniques, methods to ensure not only your safety but the safety of those you’re fighting.”

“But even just knowing that isn’t enough,” Taylor gave in, no longer testing Glenn and freely admitting her intentions.  “Just knowing why isn’t enough to not make it a frightening appearance.  Rather than denying it or trying to cover it up, isn’t it better to embrace, explain it, and make it part of something bigger?”

“And thus, ‘Creepy for Justice’,” Glenn concluded.  “And best of all?  Your slogan is working.  The PRT has already been contacted by several capes who admitted they were hesitant to come in due to fear of discrimination of their abilities.  Well done, my dear.”

“Thank you, Glenn,” Taylor told him warmly, and despite himself, Glenn couldn’t help but feel a tiny glow of pride.  She continued, her tone teasing.  “But I think I might have gotten one little thing past you, just now.”

“Oh?” Glenn laughed, not particularly caring who won the game between the two, and just enjoying playing it.  “Alright, I give up.  What else was there?”

“I may have contacted the site designers with a very specific request,” Taylor told him smugly.

“Oh?”  Obediently, Glenn pulled up the site that had just been put up, and looked over it to see if he could identify Taylor’s last twist.  He found it immediately, and found himself laughing out loud.  “Oh, this is genius!”

“Yes, a design section where Case 53s with unusual body proportions can submit customized designs which can be saved to their profile any time they want to order something else,” Taylor’s grin could be heard through the phone.  “They can also request copies of any design templates we complete for their own use, if they want to use them to make their own clothes in their shape later.”

“Ah, well done, my dear,” Glenn complimented her warmly.  “Well done indeed.”

***Scene Break***

Melanie Fitts, also known as Faultline strode through the Palanquin, preparing herself mentally for the upcoming meeting with the rest of her crew.  Several new opportunities had arisen, each with varying degrees of profit and risk, and just as importantly, all of them OUTSIDE of Brockton Bay. 

There was no way Melanie was ever going to do something which might put her in direct opposition of Skitter.  Not after what happened last time.

“Alright everyone,” Melanie began as she entered the conference room.  “It’s time to talk about….” She trailed off, taking in the sight before her, and then sighed.  “What exactly am I looking at right now?”

“Oh.  My.  God,” Newter sighed expansively.  “Melanie, you got to try this!  Seriously, I mean, I know I never really wore shirts before, but they were always just so uncomfortable.  This?  This is like angels are messaging my skin!”

Melanie gave Newter and his ‘Creepy for Justice’ brand hoody a dry look, before turning to Gregor the Snail.  She raised an eyebrow, and waited.

“It is a noble message,” Gregor simply declared, also wearing the brand on a large sleeveless coat.  “I believe it worthy of support.”

“Solidarity,” Emily declared, adjusting her branded shirt.  She reached out, and Gregor obediently fist bumped her awaiting knuckles.  “If it’s good enough for the big man, it’s good enough for me.”

“Its… warm,” Elle admitted, somehow having managed to get a branded CLOAK of all things.

“Got you one too, boss,” Newter chirped, and Melanie eyed the ‘Creepy for Justice’ vest for a moment, before surrendering to the inevitable.

With a warm smile, she put the vest on over her business clothes.  It really was quite comfortable.